#streetloveandseaglass

[canceramorem]

I'm going to skip ahead a little bit, because this next part is just too good to not tell the good people about. "The People", -my good friend Donny will laugh when he reads this. "The People" , means " The People" of the State of New York vs. Jey Pizzle , or in Donny's case, "the People vs Donald D***** III. Yes , as in an official indictment , arrest, attorneys,criminal justice, my least favorite thing Ever -JUDGES! the system, jail, trials , intent and four lawyers,Getting in trouble, got in trouble,and stayed out of trouble. (Donny gets out 2023 )

Now I am not trying to say that it's cool to get in trouble, FUCK NO!, I pray my daughter never gets in trouble. kids and adults- stay out of trouble, or as my favorite Aunt Nora ( she had the same name as my mom) would say - "Keep your nose clean". In other words, avoid police at all costs. Stay below the radar, don't go around and break laws, but if you accidentally do, then be good enough to NOT GET CAUGHT. And I don't know how many times I have to reiterate this-DO NOT SNITCH, DON'T SOCIALIZE WITH , HELP, OR EVEN SPEAK TO anyone that is a snitch! Breaking the law is one thing, but breaking the Law AND Snitching! No fucking way jack! if you get caught, just tell the truth , almost, or whatever you have to do. (DON'T do what, " Do-what-you-do, Duane-The KooK did, lying and snitching- the worst kind) . the main thing is, just be cool, even if you are traveling with kits or drugs and acting afool in different states. Like I said , don't go out being a criminal. But if you do get in trouble, keep your head up, and who knows, maybe you will be lucky enough to get locked up in a good jail. I've made some bad decisions in my life and I'm not proud of it, but I have 43 or 44 ar arrests on my record, criminal history, wrap sheet, or whatever you want to call it, Thats just arrests , NOT convictions. You see, that's how they get people, they twist the truth so it suits their needs. 44 arrests, but maybe only a dozen convictions, and they were all misdemeanors . I was never- EVER charged , arrested , or convicted of any sex offender type shit. Never! I was however, FALSELY ACCUSED, of a few things, including RAPE. I am not and never could be into rape. if a chick doesn't want to be with me, I'm not gonna go out and rape her. instead, I would just go out and pay or trade some shit for a sexual favor from a trick. A lot of being lonely isn't about sex alone, it's more like just being intimately close with a female.

It's kinda like how i met this " love of my life Marie". She knows exactly what I am talking about. I was raised decent, and it's just wrong morally and it's sick. I want somebody that wants me. get the fuck out of here if you thought for a split second, that Jey Pizzle is a fucking RAPE-O!!! ( That's what they call a rapist in New York).

So where were we now, oh yes , I got to the mobile home that Marie had worked so hard, and had come so far to get. With help from DSS of course. You know , the same people that help with food stamps and social stuff. like childcare, and medicaid. Back when I was a kid, they called it welfare. and at school , if you wanted to hurt someone'sfeelings, you would say " Your Mama's on welfare' , yeah, seriously, that would really hurt the kids back then, especially if your mom was on 'welfare' . Shit , in New York State, you have to be on welfare just to survive. It's so fucking expensive there, But anyhow, yeah , I was there. Freezing outside., it was just me and my love. oh , and a decent amount of shit for the two of us. So I did what any new resident to New York does, I applied for food stamps. Since her trailer was so far out in the country, I mailed the application in, and I still had my food stamp card from when I had been to Syracuse the two times before. New york gives you a really cool EBT card, it's got your picture on it and everything, so , I applied for food stamps and the next few days is where this love story turns into something more like a nightmare. But, my good folks, God Is real,and he does miracles everyday in our lives. God is great! Always remember keep your head up " -Excelsior"- Latin for"Ever upward", the New York State Motto.

[canceramorem]

WHO WANTS A HAPPY ENDING , REAL LIFE IS NOT HAPPY, ITS PURE MISERY! HAPPINESS IS a fake sense , love is an illusion, true love Doesn't EXIST, SO fuck life, fuck love, and fuck helping people

, the story is over. Marie left me for some younger guy named Shawn Fortino. He never was there for her when she was homeless and had no one. He wouldn't go to jail for her like I did. Fuck Marie Clara Camp , I hope she dies a slow miserable death. She is prostituting and he is her pimp. She took the ring I bought her (200$) and sold it to help him. He's her pimp. I was right the whole time, she never helped me, she never loved me , instead she did nothing but hurt me. She lets this guy live off of her. She supports him and was using me to help. She ruined me folks she really did. I did nothing to deserve what she did and her kids, well that was just a lie, she hasn't even seen them. In months.The whole time was just a way for her to use me like the emotional hostage-taker that she is. It was all a lie , a big lie. She never loved me. She has no heart, she has no soul. I'm so hurt, I'm actually ruined. I'm in church , crying, devastated. I'm dying of cancer and she has made it worse. I hate her for what she has done to me. I don't plan on living past the new year . It's the saddest love story ever, well that's all. She never helped me to live and I saved her life,. And what was my reward? She caused me to die a lot sooner than I should have.

Don't fall in love folks. It's not worth the pain. Goodbye...

[canceramorem]

The letter, or statement , or story, or whatever you want to call it is absolutely fucking horrible. I was raised in a way that I cannot tolerate men who rape, molest, or even look at a woman in a peverse way. It's just not in my DNA. Not only is it morally wrong, it's just something that I personally would never do. People that rape other people have a special place in hell. Marie had told me early on in our relationship that she had been raped in college. She told me she was gang raped. She told me she was at a fraternity house and there was a keg of beer. She apparently woke up to a guy trying to put it in her " butt" (she always says 'butt' instead of ass or anal when it comes to anal sex"), she woke up and saw a bunch of condom wrappers and she claims that some guys gang raped her. She told me she got dressed and called her sorority sister from the frat house phone and it was over a river or bridge- something to do with water- anyhow, she left home walking (didn't even ask for a ride from anyone-weird), and that was all she told me of her " rape" experience. She did however say that one of her rapists had a daughter now, which leads me to believe that she is friends with him, oh wait, she is. That's right, she even showed me his picture on Facebook. SHES FUCKING FRIENDS WITH THE GUY ON FACEBOOK!!! Why she never called the authorities and did something is beyond me. I mean godamn, how many other rapes could she prevented if she had reported this? Thats very fucked up on her part. She did mention on many occasions some other sexual experiences that had happened to her too. I didn't pay them too much mind because she would always mumble under her breath some really sick shit involving her relatives and other older people doing things to her ( maybe that's why she is such a whore nowadays - who knows) All I know is I have NEVER EVER EVER in my life so much as molested , touched , or looked at a girl in a bad perverse and unnatural way!

When I first read the letter that was to be used against me in a criminal proceeding I laughed. I knew none of the stuff was true in it. I mean come on , RAPE!?!? The opening statement was pretty fucking hilarious I thought as well. I met her on a "camping trip" ?! That's the farthest thing from the truth ,that I could possibly think. I mean, there I was in my tent eating lucky charms that fateful October day two years prior to this time, when Gary brought this homeless, drug addicted , and very attractive woman to me. She was definitely not "camping" , or on some camping trip, if she was , then with who? Yes, I did become instantly "enamored" with her (that's where I came up with it in my story). I did , do, and always will, love this fucking crazy woman name Marie Clara Camp. Unfortunately, I was in jail and didn't have any humanly possible way to prove this , except Marie herself telling them the truth. As far as the prosecutor and everyone else knew, I really did stalk her and come all the way to Northern New York to drug her and have sex with her tampon infected pussy! Because remember, the reason I got so upset to begin with is because she wouldn't go to the hospital and get the fucking thing taken out.This was a very low point in my life, being accused of something like that is a life-changing experience.

At this point, I was ready for trial, this bitch was not going to put me away for assault so I can go to prison labeled as a RAPE-O! (Do you know what they do to rapists in prison?) I didn't think she was that heartless of a person, to actually not tell them otherwise, boy was I mistaken. Not only did she go to a grand jury indictment and testify against me, but she said absolutely nothing to say I never raped her. For me to not deny the false story they wrote would be the same as admitting to it. NOT HAPPENING CAPTAIN! It was at this point when I had my new attorney Richard V. Manning, file a counter motion/affidavit denying all of the bullshit allegations that were made against me, which meant it was going to be fucking world war 3 with these fucking people. Meanwhile, while I was fighting for my freedom, little miss perfect , Marie Clara Camp was living the good life in her new apartment, having parties with dudes, and going to bars. She got caught with about 700$ worth of shit. She told me afterwards that it was a dude she met in the medicaid cab. He invited her over to trick with him. well apparently he got sick of her and threw her out- GO FIGURE. It was at this point when I started to not give a fuck, I was hungry though, and the jail was offering some cool programs for inmates. One of them was "Game Nights". As I found out, this was actually worth coming to jail for! Let the game nights begin! ( and FUCK YOU MARIE! )

[canceramorem]

The St Lawrence County Correctional Facility- Tucked away in the riverside college-town of Canton, New York , on 17 Commerce lane is The St. Lawrence County Correctional Facility. It serves as the main Jail for the largest County in New York state- St Lawrence. St Lawrence is big, but it's also sparcely populated. It's mostly farm land, miles and miles of flat farm land. I'm not really sure what they grow, I thinks it's mostly corn. There was a lot of dairy farms as well. I had gotten myself into a world of trouble. I made a bad decision, and it not only cost me my freedom, but also any chance I had with the love of my life, Marie Clara Camp.

My first appearance was in the basement of Judge Williams' home. I remember him being very kind. I remember the gung- ho Sheriff's deputy reading off my charges. The main one was was felony assault and criminal possession of a weapon (misdemeanor). He was telling the judge my whole criminal history, and was throwing in stuff that I had gotten arrested for, but not charged. It's very fucked up, because they didn't know the truth, they only were going by what a mentally -ill , crazy, injured woman was telling them. Her, along with her best friend, "Valerie Jane Green", a so-called health foodie / nutritionist. Like Marie, very self -centered ,has to look good in the public eye. And the other person pushing to have me locked away for years and I can't forget , the facilitator of all the WELLNESS checks and cop-caller extrordanaire, Do-what -you -do- Duane Kenneth Clookey. Mr Jealous himself, father -of -her two boys, Duane Kenneth Clookey.(He did adopt Her daughter) . That's all I'm saying . Valerie and Duane don't know me, and Marie never mentioned me- in any positive light. Unbenownst to me, Marie had been telling them that I was some crazy stalker that had tracked her down , and followed her from North Carolina all the way up the east coast to New York. So the cops and the judge had their little 'investigation' papers. Of course I couldn't see what they had, because then I could defend my self. It's really quite easy, defending yourself that is. Right out of the gate, I hated these cops. The judge was nice and could see that I really felt bad about what had happened. Either way, it was March , the first week in March and little did I know, the next few? months would not only prove to be fun, but it also was a very spiritual journey as well. Let's not get ahead of ourselves here, I just got booked into a brand -new, state of the art, $53 million dollar jail.

After a few days, they classified me and I was in General population. there was like four pods altogether, and the whole jail could house around 430 inmates. But since the population is so sparce in this relatively crime-free region of New York state, and the population of the county so small, it meant that it was very hard- if not impossible, to fill the jail. The first few weeks were rather slow. There was not even one African /American in the whole jail-( c.o. or inmate). I remember meeting the first few people. They were like - "You're the machete guy". Apparently, the had saw me on the local evening news. I made the big time- Thanks Marie!

Right from the very beginning, I thought the food was very delicious, breakfast was way better than you would think, usually consisting of scrambled eggs and a bagel (yes bagel) and a side of sausage. Lunches we're usually soup and a sandwich ( was this from the kitchens of Panera Bread?). And dinners we're always fulfilling. For the first time in all of my criminal history and being in jails, I NEVER went to bed hungry in the SLCCF.

They would open the cell doors at like 7 a.m. and leave them unlocked until like 3 pm.and then there was shift change and count, and then they lock them again for the night , at a 10 p.m. I know, that's pretty early. There was a carpetted area ( indoor/ outdoor carpet), two flat screen Tvs, cable, and tablets. which also served as the way to order commmiasry, read the law library, or even listen to music (@10cents a minute) , there was phones, but no one really used them , it was the tablets that were in high demand. there was six tablets for 35 inmates. I had no one, everyone else was actually from there. So I stood out like a sore thumb. I'll never forget, one of the female Jailers name, Meredith Spinelli. she had been there for almost Twenty years. She was the same age as me- how did I know? Because she told me . For the first few months, I didn't hardly come out of my cell. I was catching up on at least three years of sleep, and being homeless with Marie had definitely taken it's toll on me. I slept so much and was such a model inmate, Officer Spinelli at one point told me that she wished every inmate were like me. We had to switch pods one time , and she jokingly said to everyone else, "Plaster can stay" , " the rest of you guys go" , to which I replied, " there might be a few unexpected pregnancies" , we had to switch pods with the females and get this, they had like 25 of us guys pack up, and move to a multipurpose room with all glass windows. Then all the females about twenty of them, were to walk past us and go to our pod(there was only one main corridor), we were doing a- "switch pods with the female inmates". I called it a 'jailhouse parade', which it was, I mean, here we were, all guy inmates, waiting for the girls to walk by. It was fucking classic. We were checking all of them out and they were walking by like they were jail models. Some of them were actually really hot. I had seen a few of the females in passing and That's why I said there would be some pregnancies! It was just a joke , and officer Spinelli was like- "gross, you don't want any of them" , almost hinting like, "you'd rather have this", I don't know what it was , but she was cool, especially with me. Unfortunately , she went on vacation with her husband to Florida, and broke her back in a jet skiing accident- ouch! I really liked her, she gave me hope. actually , I wanted to make a get well card for her but didn't. She was cool and had massive boobs. All of the C.O.s liked me because I was just that good of an inmate (Spinelli , I think she had a little bit of a crush on me). I was averaging about 21 hours a day of sleep. And they like that because it makes their job super easy.

I also started going to the chapel service when they called it. That's where I met "Brother Al" , what a good Christian brother. He had been going to this particular jail and the old one this one replaced for at least 30 years to preach and sing gospel music. He was in his 80's , and had nothing but knowledge and good stuff for me and any inmate that would go to chapel and listen to the beautiful word of God. Most of the time it was me and my buddy Robbie Purser, until Robbie got released on probation , which he eventually violated and came back! When Robbie left , it was mostly me. Actually there was like three different churches that would come in the jail. I went to all of them. I met Larry Vinough from the Presbyterian church in Canton , Bruce and Al from the Church in Massena, and Father Peter from the Church in Norfolk , Father Peter and I became really good friends. One day, he even told me about how Marie was bad mouthing me, I mean who fucking does that? Gonna bad mouth me to a fucking priest? Of course she denied it after I got released and asked her about it . But why would Father Peter lie about that? I was actually having fun in jail. I was eating good. You see, my whole life I've been conditioned to being in horrible jails ( Manatee county Florida), fish eye soup was on the menu every Friday. , No t.v. , no programs to better ones self, and fights every day between African -Americans and Hispanics, guards were dicks .

Brevard county Florida was the same but worse, - trying to get me to go on the road crew to pick up trash in the sweltering hot Florida sun- fuck that -I refused. Food was horrible,again, no programs -so people can better themselves, and the guards were real dicks in Florida.

The North Carolina jails were a little bit better, depending on where you go. Fayetteville will serve you chicken on the bone every Sunday , all the guards are Black women and tolerable. T.v. was 13 inch ,no programs either and plenty of crackheads fighting in the pod. , Asheville jail, huh, its fucking mental torture. And small ass portions of food, the guards are dicks and again, no programs to better oneself . In all of the jails prior to SLCCF , I went to bed hungry every night. Those are just a few I can remember. Again, I am not promoting criminal activity. It's not cool. I am just giving a little incite as to what the county jail system is like. And don't get me wrong , you still are in jail in St. Lawrence county, it's just a little less stressful when your not in an explosive environment with fighting and such. There was one fight the whole time I was in the St Lawrence County Correctional Facility SLCCF. There was no real problems, that's what they have "the bubble" for.

"The bubble"is a separate, smaller jail within a jail. It's more like a torture glass chamber for people that aren't claustrophobic.

It's used to hold sex offenders, Rape-o's, and people that get in trouble for little stuff, minor infractions . I thought it would be cool to mail some tomato seeds off of the delicious beef stake tomtoes we had on our sandwiches. I did mail a few seeds to my church back home in North Carolina. But I had a few in my cell. Well, I had a cell search and they found the tiny seeds . I explained to them my intent, but they still gave me a week in the bubble with the rape -o's. It sucked. I was in the bubble with this ex-cop that tried to extort a blowjob from one of the local whores. This dumbass actually waited until she came back all wired for sound and got him busted . Yeah , they called him the "blowjob cop".

It should be noted that the victim , my love, Marie , ran into some legal problems of her own while I was safely behind the cynder block walls of the SLCCF . Yeah, my Marie 🐻 Bear got caught with a quarter ounce of Methamphetamines. I can honestly say, That would not have happened if I was with her. I would never let such a thing happen to my baby, I would have said they were mine. I have gone to jail for her in the past, and she knows this.

[canceramorem]

COVID -19. what a fucking shit show that was and still is. It figures I would have to be incarcerated when something like that would happen. Not an epidemic a fucking PANDEMIC! any way you look at it , the COVID really sucked. . They even gave us masks that were jail stripes. At this point , I had been in jail for some time. The lawyer they gave me at first was Andrew Moses, ( currently, he's a judge- figures! ) So he was decent, but he didn't handle felony cases. So they appointed me this other fucking ass -clown named Keith Massey Jr. This guy used to work for the prosecutor, so I was fucked. It was at that point. That I lost my mind. They were trying to give me years, yes six years and all the bullshit that goes along with it. Probation, parole, post release, what the fuck ever. I knew if I had just been honest to begin with then they probably would have just let me go. It was an accident, I just wanted her to go to the hospital and get the fucking tampon out. I had no idea where she was or who she was sleeping with. Of course it's too hard for her to spend fifty cents and drop me a line. And besides that, I wanted to at least see her before I went to prison or killed myself one. I had planned out my suicide and I fell into a deep state of depression. (I found out later that she had gotten her disability benefits and got a huge amount of money, an apartment, and some new friends (GUY FRIENDS! and that she was out partying- going to bars, doing cocaine and even got caught with a bunch of Methamphetamines) I knew she was a slut, but I still loved her. ( Maybe I'm the crazy one!) YEAH, she literally had thousands of dollars and couldn't spend a measley 50 cents on the guy that saved her life and travelled thousands of miles to be with her. She used the excuse of "they told me if I contacted you then my kids would get taken. - NEWSFLASH - your kids already are with this douchebag that won't let you see them because you did him dirty too! It's whatever, she's a piece of shit anyway. She could have easily wrote an anonymous name on the letter.

The year before at the same time was when her and I did our little "outlaw"deal, and fled misdemeanor charges by going to Fayetteville from Asheville. She did like she always does and had the fucking cops come to our place we had just got( she didn't call she just caused a scene and the guy renting is the room called. ) So they came and left , but came back two hours later and arrested her. I stayed in the room and did not even let them get a glimpse of me ( remember, I had a warrant too!). So the next day, I rounded up about 12$ and took the trip to the jail which was about a half an hour away by bus. Before I went to the jail, I went by the post office and got a stamp and mailed her a letter telling her how much I love her. I then went to the kiosk and put my last and only ten dollars in the inmate kiosk, so she would at least be able to get something to eat and maybe write to me. ( She claims she wrote me and put money on my books , yeah right- fucking liar!) Remember, I have a warrant for my arrest in Asheville (3 hours away). I went to the jail and did a television visit with her. She was begging me to bond her out, her bond was like one hundred dollars.

It scarred me so bad from the fact that she just abandoned me that even to this day, I have heart problems t's my own fucking fault for falling in love with such a grimy, slimy, bitch like her. But yeah, I didn't get not one visit, letter, or phone call. Add that on top of being so heartbroken

[canceramorem]

The Machete Incident -So this is how it went down, the truth will set you free. She was in that crazy other person Marie, the mean , almost seemed like a murderer or something bad Marie state. Even when the sweet, loving Marie referred to her in third person , she just called the other personality, "Her" or "She" it was weird. it was like she was ashamed of the other personality, even though it was her , Or she, damn it gets very confusing when she's in that state. It's a state of everything all at once. I was hoping for just a quiet decompression time from the bus ride and time with her and just fun. Yeah usually she was aways T.T.G. and I had some killer shit too. But it wasn't even that. I had even brought her some really cool gifts and stuff from the heart, that I had made. One was a toothbrush holder with seashells and also I had made a cool Jewery kit from 'our ' jewelry making business aptly named "Street Love and Sea Glass".

Streetloveandseaglass was the name both her and I came up with together. We were on the hill by target one time early on in our relationship, and came up with the idea of starting a jewelry making business together. She had always told me about how she knows how to wrap crystals and stuff related to Jewelry, and different ways to make money. What she failed to realize (and I'm not some bad ass show off or show out type of dude!) is that Jey Pizzle has sold a lot of things in his life, everything from pussy to pistols to Prada handbags, EVERYTHING. So he was more than happy and actually had made it one of his goals in life, to have a business partner and wife/best friend/partner-in-crime such as Marie Clara Camp. He even had the email streetloveandseaglass@gmail.com made and still uses it to this day. Street Love and Sea Glass is still a business actually, all you have to do is google it , the number is there and I usually respond within 15 minutes.

The little pink jewelry kit making box had made it all the way from south Texas filled with love, and pliers and a whole bunch of jewelry making stuff. The other Marie( sweet and loving Marie) would have been happy and at least been somewhat interested. - Not this mean MARIE, NO, she didn't even look at the pink little jewelry kit box . She was acting like it was not even there.

So we had sex. and somewhere along the way , after me being there for at least week, during one of our sextimes it felt like I was pushing something in her with each stroke, It was a godamn tampon!!! She was acting like this zombie , the bad Marie. The good Marie was asleep she said when I asked her, because up until this point , we had been getting high and she would go lay down or sleep. So , somewhere during this time, is when the door had someone knocking on it. I wasn't expecting anyone. She was just acting like she was hiding something or she had killed a man or she got caught. A guy she knows named Trevor, came aknocking .It made me wonder- is she fucking this dude too? Well, she told him something and he left. That night , Duane ( the father of her two sons) came and it was odd. I was in the back room half asleep , and she was like whispering in the other room.There was a wellness check done by the police, that sucked fucking dick! I mean here I am, tired and wanting to be left alone, just Marie and I. We had been through so much bullshit. All the bullshit in Asheville , all the bullshit in Syracuse, and everything in - between. It was like I wasn't welcome there. Some by her , but mostly by " them", the police and Duane and Trevor, and her friends. I would have never came up there , had I known it was gonna be like that. She never told them anything good about me, or about any of our experiences. They must have thought I was the reason she had been gone from all of their pathetic lives for so long. ( I would have left too, they all suck). So they wanted me gone , or did they? Because she acted like she wanted me there, or was it the other, " her" ? Who the fuck knows, all I know is that she betrayed me. It really hurt. She was telling them one thing, and telling me something totally the opposite of what she was telling them. But I loved this woman so much, I stuck it out.

So one of the times the police came to do a wellness check, they discovered that Marie Camp had a warrant for a worthless check, from many years before. They told her to just Come into the village court which is equal to a municipal court. It was for some petit ass check from years prior. No big deal, we had been through things much worse. I know I have , and I'm pretty sure Marie had too. Think about the whole journey up until this point. Here I was pouring my heart out to this woman and she just ripped an already fragile heart , right back out of where she placed it many times before, broken and trying to heal. (She has the ability to heal it, But her specialty seems to be breaking it.)

One day , adult services was called. So I made the best of it, even asking him to take us to get some groceries which he kindly obliged , and brought us to the store and back. We even discussed with him the chance of her getting her kids , nothing bad or trying to knock Duane out of anything ( she had issues in the past with Duane and the "Golden Boys " they had in common). Mr. Michaels, the adult protective services guy, was cool. He checked everything out, we had nothing to hide. The kit was safely stowed. And if she said the kids were coming, there would be no more "kit". I remember shaking his hand as he left.

Marie still had this issue of the retained tampon, and it was actually making her sick, (and me too from the smell). I wanted her to go to the hospital so bad. All she was doing was sleeping, causing the tampon to fester even more with germs, which will give a woman " toxic shock", and possibly kill her.

To make matters worse, I had gotten a small sore on the tip of my penis from when I had discovered the tampon. It had gotten infected from being rubbed against the germ- infested tampon. Well, it hurt to say the least, and I was just disappointed with the whole situation. But again, I love this woman so much, I wasn't gonna let anything , Duane, the police, her eight personalities, the tampon, or the freezing cold weather stop us from at least trying to have a normal, happy , loving life together. We had been up for a few days, and she was sleeping for at least two days. I insisted she go to the hospital, she wouldn't because she was scared about the worthless check warrant. I was angry, hurt, confused, and betrayed. She was going to the hospital, one way or the other for that stinking tampon. I had my trusty machete which had been by my side more than she has since we've been together. I had just finished sharpening it, so it was razor sharp. It has a protective sheath that goes over it, and also I had taped extra padding over it. She had said something and we were arguing,it was then ,without even thinking, it was more of a "YOURE GONNA GO TO THE HOSPITAL NOW!" yelling, and a not intended to cut , just force her to get up , swing of the machete sideways . The blade broke through the padded sheath and cut her right on the knee. FUCK! I immediately apologized to her and told her, I did not mean to cut her. which is the absolute truth, because , I NEVER INTENDED TO CUT HER WITH THE MACHETE, I REALLY DID NOT!

Well, the next thing you know , we had to call the ambulance. and I told her, " I'll just tell them the truth" , which would have been better , and I would have gotten less jail time. Because I really did not intend for her to get cut from the machete. Instead of telling the truth ,she convinced me to go along with her story, that she slipped on the porch ( it was icy, slippery, and had an aluminum window frame that was sharp.) and cut herself on the window frame. I call 911 and an ambulance comes. So we go to the hospital,they sew up her knee. and take out the stinking tampon. Everything was cool, we had gotten the knee and tampon taken care of. Maybe now we can go and relax, and finally not be bothered. It was then she started acting very crazy.

The people from the hospital were taking note of this and quickly came to investigate, which resulted in Marie getting forced in a wheel chair and hauled off to the psych ward. while I stood there beside myself. I felt like " Job" in the bible. I had cursed God for all this bad shit that was happening to me. I remember the last memory of me seeing the woman I love more than life itself, helpless and being pushed off by some hospital people that don't know her, me, or our struggle. It's etched in my mind and heart, the last time I saw her, it will stick with me for the remainder of my life, or until I see her smiling beautiful face again in person. It was like slow motion, words didn't need to be spoken, we communicated , really- telepathically, each of us crying to the other "NOOooo!!!!....." and then there was a silence like the gates of heaven had just closed, and I was stuck outside of them, waiting for the devil to come handcuff me and take me to hell in a police car.

I had to act quickly, it was getting cold and I was a stranger in a strange land. The hospital didn't want to help. It felt like I was in Freddy Kruger's ( A Nightmare On Elm Street) hospital , and he had just taken Marie to his fiery furnace , and I was next. The separation anxiety, couple with the fact that I never really got any good time alone without ANY interruption from other people, was causing me to have panic attacks. When I tried to get a ride back to the trailer, the hospital refused. It was snowing heavily outside at this point. So I quickly decided on a way to get admitted, even volunteering to go in the psych ward to be with her. They told me " NO!" , I was devastated, I would have given my life right there ,just for one last hug from my beloved Marie Bear. So I walked out in the parking lot and slipped on the ice, actually causing myself to bleed, nothing like the wound I had caused on the love of my life just hours before this, but enough to where they had to treat me. Everyone sues everyone nowadays, and New York laws are different than any other place on earth. (making it a place where it's a way of life to sue other people, even if they defame your image, or slander). Slip and Falls are the easy way to sue, especially in a hospital. I told them they needed to salt the parking lot and made a slight reference to suing them. Almost immediately, the head maintenance guy was making his presence known and apologizing for it being so slippery. Within five minutes I was negotiating a ride with the triage nurse. They did a complete 180 and even brought me a turkey sandwich and a sprite in a can to drink. The taxi came, and on the way back to her trailer, he was telling me about the the maple syrup production that this area of Northern New York is so famous for. So much sweetness all around me but all I could taste at this point was salt, the salt of my own tears, it was such a bitter taste. Even in the bible it says once salt loses it flavor, "it's no good". I felt so bad, and so alone, Without the woman I loved so dearly, and after all that happened, I felt like I was salt that was so old and used up, it wouldn't even melt the ice I supposedly slipped on. I made it back to the trailer, and three days later the St Lawrence County Sheriff's Deputies came to her trailer- ten deep. you would have thought they had came to arrest John Gotti the way they were acting. I had made the preparations not knowing if I would ever see her again, I wrote a note for her and left it , not knowing if I would ever see her again. The note said, "I love you Marie". I feared that I would never see her again. it was the worst feeling of my life. The note was still there when they toted me off to jail. If she ever got to see it, I don't know, but I wanted her to know that I love her.

When they came, I opened the door just because it was freezing cold and I didn't want them to freeze. prior to them coming, I had everything illegal put safely up. I knew they were coming, I just didn't know when. I had a ride coming the next day to get out of town. The cops came 12 hours before I was to have made my escape from New York. They asked if I "owned a machete?", my answer was this(-because everything you say can and will be used against you-) , I said "IF I HAD ONE, IT WOULD BE IN THE DRAWER IN THE BACK DRESSER". Note the fact that I said "if" , and also "in the dresser" . Without question , they all rushed to the back room of the trailer, as if I was not an American Citizen and we were in Hitler's Germany. With their Gestapo like tactics, they produced the Machete. I never told them they could go back there, and also the machete was thrown way under the dresser, not in plain view. So they couldn't use the "plain view doctrine" that all cops use to go snooping with. The look on their faces was that of sheer joy, like they had found the gun that killed JFK. I thought to myself- " Godamn Marie, you and the godamn tampons, now my life is over" They booked me into the St Lawrence County Jail. At first it seemed like any of the other Forty -something different county jails I had been booked into. It was so cold in the jail that night. Cold physically , and emotionally. They gave me a pair or sweatpants(orange) , a sweat shirt( orange) and the usual blue shirt and pants jail issue blue. Then they brought me to the intake pod. I will never forget how brilliant the moon looked that night, using the jail pen they gave me with the other jail "welcome kit " stuff (toilet paper, toothbrush and toothpaste), I drew a picture of the moon and stars, and I wrote this - " Even the stars ignored the moon to make it so dark" , it was a metaphor, I was in one of the darkest places emotionally I have ever been in my life. I thought I was actually in hell. What was going to happen to me? and fuck me- will I ever see this woman I love so much? My heart cried out to the moon, praying, wishing that she (Marie) was looking at the same moon from her window at the Claxton Hepburn Mental Hospital ,so she could be that much closer to me. Even though she was only ten miles away, it felt like it was a million miles. It gave me scars emotionally , which I still have today, and probably always will.

[canceramorem]

It's not all bad times that I remember, and the bad times are definitely outweighed by the good times. The truth be told, one day with her, erases any bad memories, it's as if she held some sort of magical eraser, that could erase any bad thought or feelings I ever had. An eraser that could erase all the bad and put me 'in the moment' with her, like we were the only two souls in the universe. Being with her is a true state of bliss , a euphoric feeling better than any drug known to man. Some would call it an obsession, well, I don't think it were that, no, not that at all. I wouldn't chase her. That wouldn't be love , me chasing after her, that would be obsession. I always gave her the freewill that she deserved, that she hadn't been given in the relationships before me. There were even times when I would actually run from her, and she would chase me. And then, at that moment when she was chasing me, I realized the strong magical connection that we shared, and it would actually leave me breathless and I would have to stop. And then we would kiss, and all of the problems of the world would stop, even if it were only for a couple of minutes. She made me feel comfortable as if she were my childhood home, a safe warm feeling of love, where worries and stress did not exist, only love.

Even when she would hurt me, I instantly forgave her, because I knew it really wasn't her, it was her mental illness . But the " Hauntings " , they weren't just ghosts of relationships past, because any relationship up until I first met Marie, well, they were not true love , so , they really don't count. They were like baby steps and my relationship with Marie was a full on marathon . I might have been hurt in the past , but those were like bee stings. The pain from being hurt by Marie was like a .45 caliber shot from an M1911 A pistol. That's what it felt like. If pain is weakness leaving the body , then I should be as strong as fucking " Super Man" . Instead, all my pain and all the miscommunications , and bad mouthing Jason eventually is what will cause me to get Cancer. All the bad things said and lies and misconceptions they all gathered and gave Pizzle cancer . And the cancer must have started around the time when I went to Texas , when I left Syracuse and went to Texas. Because , thinking back, something told me that "I'm dying from being heartbroken". And so I went far away, but remember one thing folks- " wherever you go, there you are," and heartbreak knows not distance, instead, I was even more heartbroken, because I was so far away, but we looked at the same moon. And she must have made the same wish, or at least I liked to think she did. Because even though I was in " paradise" , it still felt like " hell on earth," because she wasn't there with me.

[canceramorem]

So I would have good memories and absolutely horrible memories . One of them was a time when me and Gary were down the river and Marie was there. Jimmy came he's a friend of ours he makes jewelry and he's homeless and a nice guy. He's missing most of his teeth and he's just you know hygienically speaking , he is pretty nasty. He's also mentally ill something wrong with him upstairs but he's nice guy. So Gary had to move his stuff up from the river up to the to the mountain top, we did it we all carried one load up there and then we got up there and Jimmy bought some dope from Gary . Earlier I had noticed that Jimmy had been giving her the eyes and you know she's flirting whatever I didn't think much of it but Jimmy was grabbing to grab where her ass was supposed to be at but my leg was there and he rubbed my leg by accident saying oops. I didn't think much of it I didn't think that she would go for someone like Jimmy just didn't think but she just flirting she's nice. So we get to the mountaintop and Jimmy buys some stuff and she's begging him for a hit and whatever which I would have gave her some once we're done moving this stuff up there , she couldn't wait. So Jimmy and her are smoking on the foil the boat and Gerald and I go down to get the last load and it takes a little bit longer than usual. And when we come back she is in the in my tent, our tent with Jimmy. So, 5 minutes and they're not in the tent fucking they're making out in there and I unzip the tent and I'm like what the fuck! You know what her answer was? Her answer was , he was showing me jewelry and she was actually mad at me mad at me while she was doing that. Yeah she's give me dirty looks and just being a bitch at me for what she did in front of me like totally shattered my heart. I just couldn't believe that she would actually do that with one of my friends , yeah and she'll deny it up and down and say it didn't happen , but it did and I remember and I know she remembers. And that's what makes J Pizzle a fun dummy because he's probably should have just stopped there and been like you know what I don't need that but instead and because of the curse , the love curse he continued to love her maybe even more so I don't know but he did love her and does love her- Fucking crash test dummy! The funny thing is had she just helped us with they didn't either one of them help us with the last load they wanted to be alone up there and had she helped us and he helped us I would have gave them bunch of shit ,A bunch of dope. This is just one example. She thinks it's normal to do this type of thing, it is not, and so he pushed past this and continued to love , but the pain from it lingers and continues to linger even to this day. Because if she did that when he was with her in the same town , then what would she do if they were separated , and living in different states, but still " together".

Fucking CRASH TEST DUMMY- JEY PIZZLE

August came and the light at the end of the summer was that the one true love of my life actually did have a heart,and really, (I think or thought), loved me tremendously. So tremendously in fact, that she was willing to risk some things for me. Like risk her place to stay, , "image " of little miss - I don't do wrong, and food. Her food source. As in she can eat whenever she wants. What's her reward for such risks?

Her reward would be me, my love and the fact that I would , could , and did, make the medicine that she loved to do, it helped her. It is a medicine. She invented the ' medicine' nickname. Everyone else calls it , ' Go' , ' Clear' , or the dreaded ' M' word- Methamphetamine. So , after she somehow got in touch with me, I think it was email. We did what we always did after any length of time apart from each other - we face timed, and talked on the phone for hours, and not a couple, I'm talking 8 hour talks, we never ever had that awkward silence like most couples have . NOPE , trust me, the awkward silence has never existed in our 'magical' relationship. Her and I can talk, and not stop, for days . even when we get tired, we leave the phones on, so we are like , ' there ' with each other.

I had a little practice when it came to her asking for me to come to her. Remember, in Asheville, not only did I surpass amazing odds ( getting out of jail on p.r.), get to Fayetteville the next day. With no phone, no jacket( fucking freezing in January), and no money. And get this- with about 100$ worth of Valentines Candy -just for my one true love. Well that was baby steps. This time she was somewhere else. Somewhere I had sworn to myself I would never go to. Fucking north of Virginia, all the way to fucking New York, Nasty Fucking Syracuse to be exact. I must be stupid or just crazy in love...

[canceramorem]

. So at this point in the love game I hadn't heard from the lovely Scarlett Marie. It was a hot summer that year too...

So July and August were horrible for me. I was still an emotional hostage of this women who came into my life like a category 5 Hurricane. Yeah she fucking had me in a whirlwind of bullshit from Asheville to fucking Fayetteville. Warrants in both cities for stealing like less than 20$ worth of items, i got bonded out on one and moved to catch a new one 30 counties away. That was in December and January, here it was , fucking late July and August. Between Asheville and Fayetteville I was playing " catch me if you can , I'm the fucking J Pizzle gingerbread man". I had identical charges in two different counties , four hours away from each other. One thing Jey Pizzle does not do is voluntarily turn himself in. And for people that do- you're stupid! I tried that one time in Florida, actually it was right after my daughter was born. You know what the "Honorable " Judge said? When I suggested turning myself in should be rewarded with a little leniency, that fucking asshole said , "well you should have done that any ways" , and then the fuck held me on a bond that I could not afford. Well its safe to say, that I will never turn myself in, nor will I ever look at a judge with anything but disgust. Only God judges me mother fuckers, A judge is nothing but a fuck- head cop with more earthly power than God. And do you know how much a judge makes a year? When they retire, they make fucking bank , like $250,000 a year AFTER they retire. And guess who pays for the Judges Salary? Yup, you got it right, Jon Doe and Joe Blow. Fucking fun dummies. The whole system is designed to make crazy money and pay these judges so much money, and they are usually fucking asshole smart asses too,. Try saying a word to one and the court cops will fuck you up. Yeah , "your honor"- go FUCK off. One time I was in a counselor/confidential type setting trying to fight my case using one of my trusted defenses. And I was not in a good mindset. I said something about the judge and something about an explosion, just wishing his house would blow up. That fucking counselor rat-bitch ran to the phone and next thing you know, The Marshall's came , threw me in a big black Suburban , and drove me two hours away from that particular judges "court" (like they own it - bastards) the next morning I was arraigned and they said i could get 48 months for threatening one of those cock sucking Judges! They ended up dropping it, because what most people don't realize is that if you are not sober, you can use the intoxication defense. These little bullshit charges were such a

pain In the ass. I would have to get back to Asheville from the "Ville " (Fayette) and I would lose all my good gear and shit because when they picked me up in the park there by Bartlett Arms, I had hid my stuff with Robins stuff. I brought her to Gary because she was looking to make some money , fucking trickin . Gary sends me to the store to get something , it was a fucking cock-suckin , cock- BLOCKING, setup. He didn't answer his door, had Robin in there and I was a sitting- fuck duck- there in the park. Two cops swooped in out of nowhere, ran my name and it was a wrap. Two weeks later, I was released, it was like this- i am arrested,

From there , about a week in Buncombe Jail, and then Cumberland county came to get me and I was out in like three days from there. Finally got the old little bullshit charges gone and done . But the events leading up to that ,well , it just goes to show just how strong the love curse Marie had on me is.

I wondered if I would ever see her again. It was like part of me was missing. I couldn't go anywhere or look at anything and not be reminded of her. It fucked things up in other areas as well. I was the laughing stock of all of my friends. They would team up and say , oh yeah, I just saw her car hopping up by Ingle's, I'd be across town somewhere trying my hardest to get to ingles, hoping I'd catch you. You weren't there, and people, just said shit because they couldn't love as much as I did you. But it was all just cruel jokes. You had left the state and I knew it , because , like I said, I had that empty feeling. And I honestly believed and still do, that we are twin flames.

Down on the French broad river, I was hanging out with Chris and a guy named Straps. Now Straps and Marie had a fling or something going. Before I got with her. I knew about it and it was all good . As straps was there with his new white girlfriend. Her name is Robin. Both he and Chris were trying to get rid of Robin, I guess they just got sick of her, I don't really see how. I mean , Robin was pretty cool. She really was. Like so many people that end up in Asheville, Robin apparently had been living in or from the Charlotte area. So had straps. His real name is Taquis (Tah-Qweez). He was in his mid Thirty's and looked like a young version of T-Pain. Its funny, because I love real gangsters , not posers. " Be true to yourself and you will never fail' . So straps as it seems is some sort of gun expert. Hence the street name ' straps'. You know , like when someone is "strapped " up. Etc. Supposedly old dude straps is known for his ability and knowledge of real -life guns, I guess pistols , I am not sure. I do know this - there are three things that Jey pizzle loves with a passion in life. And jeypizzle , when he likes something, he goes over the edge learning about it and mastering it.

1)- Español, or in English, the Spanish language. This is probably my most valuable asset. Spanish has not only-got me fed, got me paid, got me laid, got me out of trouble, its something that no one can take away from me, its fucking cool, I love it, I know it I really honest and truly am so fluent in Spanish, that I have had Spanish people roll out the red carpet for me. Yeah, I love Spanish. Me encanta Español. I'm an expert at it.

2. Guns- Ever since I was a little boy, I have wanted a motherfucking Ak- 47. I have owned dozens of firearms in my life and know how to pretty much build my own from stuff at the metal machine shop in any high school. As a matter of fact, I had to take a five hour hunter safety course when I lived in Missouri, just to get a deer tag to go hunting. My very first gun was a .22 short Ruger revolver, 5 shot side corral loader , it was black a had plastic white handle. I was 19 years old in Miami Florida, ( MIAMI NOT CHARLOTTE!). My buddy Dan gave it to me. He said if I didn't take it, he was gonna kill someone with it. I gladly took the pistol present. In the nearly half a century I've been alive, I have shot thousands of different guns. Never have I stolen a gun , nor have I ever disrespected firearms. Yes, I am a Marksman, and expert at target shooting as well. I just love guns. So when I got the chance to talk to The so called expert about guns, " Strap" - this fool, didn't even know the difference between a .22 long rifle or a .25 center fire cartridge. So we discussed Marie, I had to know every little juicy detail I could . He said he felt bad for her, and I believed him. After seeing straps in action ( trying to give himself a shot of some of the shit I cooked ). I knew that Marie was right. He most definitely had a head injury alright. Its called mentally challenged, wanna -be bad ass , wearing red -like a blood , but sporting a blue L.A. Dodgers hat ( arch enemies in the gang world). He was shaking uncontrollably and had what appeared to be having seizures or something similar, he was convulsing at the mere sight of what I consider "mediocre dope". Don't forget, Pizzle had mastered the art of the clandestine cookout, "Shaking" it up, with excellent yield. I use only the best ingredients, the shit they had for me to use was leftover dollar tree trash. Point is , he had threatened me one time when I was with Marie at Bartlett Arms , because we didn't hear him and his white girlfriend at the time , Lay Lay. They were at the gate trying to get in and he mumbled something to the effect , that he was gonna drag me. I didn't say shit, it was about 8 months or so prior. Straps, had nothing bad to say about my Boo Marie, or I probably would have mopped the train tracks with his head. Just because of the time he showed out in front of lay lay and marie at Bartlett. Anyhow, he's alright . I just couldn't believe that he actually like, had Marie , like hanging out with him . I am sure they fucked, but i dont understand why white , good looking chicks, not just Marie, why they buy into this bullshit story of him and his knowledge of guns and the street. Because as a real man, he couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag, I could beat him on every level.

The third thing in life that I have the most passion for is this woman , Yes, the same one who had -ripped my heart out, threw it on the ground , stomped on it three times , then put it in backwards, ripped it out again, and then puts it back in the right way and gives you a kiss on the cheek afterwards, while calling you 'Sweetie '. Yeah, that's what the pain of this heart break-separation/leaving pizzle/Marie takingoff/ - felt like.

We met at the most unexpected , and probably needed time in my life. I don't want this make anyone look bad, but yeah. I have a tremendous amount of passion for this woman, and only for her. I love you Marie. With passion, compassion, all ...

So after a couple days I was like fuck this shit, I need to have sex, It was hard for me to even talk to other girls because of the love curse and spell I was under. The truth is, that I was gonna bring Robin out of the river and up to Love Mountain, where Marie and I had stayed for a while, I had to do something, because it was so unfair what Scarlett Marie had done to me, I really, really am dying at this point. Dying heartbroken is horrible.

I mean , goddamn man, I was so worried about you, it literally made me sick , worrying about you. I didn't have any closure what so-ever. I wanted to know so much more about her , I wanted to grow old with her, and have good , normal , non- homeless times with Scarlett.

Mainly , I just wanted to know if what we had was real, because the feeling we shared was that of a 'Gone with the Wind ' type romance. The reality of the whole sordid , confusion, was that the only type of "romance" we had was "Bad Romance" (Lady Gaga song). 'Gone wth the wind 'feeling , but Lady Gaga- "Bad Romance " reality.

, Pizzle had it bad( lovesick/heartbrokeness), because their was no getting out of Marie's Love Curse , I say that because, here i was , literally with Robin, in the river , both of us naked, and maybe could have- fuck that- SHOULD have- had sex, but Jey Pizzle, was so infatuated with Scarlett Marie, that he didn't even do anything , but tell Robin that she had a nice body. Then gets dried up and dressed. And saves Robin from the river and boredom of being stuck there with nothing, by bringing her to Gary. So , yeah, pizzle really was faithful. Not even trying to do what the average man would have done, which is at least try to have sex with Robin. Instead, he does some things that a "fun dummy" would do. Making bad decisions in the name of love is fucking stupid. A man can get so fucked up in his head over a woman , that he might as well be a crash test dummy. Because he will be headed straight for a dummy mission if he thinks a woman really "needs " him.-Better off crashing into a brick wall head first. A fucking good time never hurt no one, yeah right , try being a fun dummy- you'll be blinded by the fucking love light, more like a fucking police flashlight as they are ruining your life, " in the name of love", while she's " making love " to someone else.Youre ass will be in jail , and she'll be under the bridge on Gillespie street in the Ville having threesomes with two dudes while smoking crack. You know how you can tell most women are lying, Their lips are moving! There are some Good ones out there though, and addiction shit ain't no joke for some people. I got some friends that have stay in TROSA. That shit ain't no joke . They have to be held accountable for every lie and all about how telling(snitching) is the way to quit crack cocaine. It's called "behavior modification" a two year rehab. What do you know about that?....

She left and I was so fucked up in the head, I had no game . and to make matters worse. I still had a lingering arrest warrant in Fayetteville , from when I was there the winter before. When Marie Boo and I were in our " misdemeanor outlaws" phase. Well, I had gotten caught stealing food, flashlights and whatever else she wanted. We used to go in anywhere, and whatever she wanted, I'd fucking get it one way or the other. It is wrong to steal , but she made it seem like it was legal to go "shopping " , which equates to shop- lifting. I got popped in Fayetteville while I was already out on p.r. in Asheville for the same shit- stealing, ( For My Boo). So, Marie did get me out..i n the past January, It was like 60$ or something, but the fact she got me out, well I don't think she even knows to this day, what I would do for her, which is ANYTHING! But I was gonna try and do what any normal man would do , which Is get laid. But i am not any normal man. As she once told me, "You're different from the others" . Well, you shall see how that works out for this "love fool", fucking fun dummy J pizzle...

[canceramorem]

From July until about the end of august would prove to be a real disappointment for the Pizzle. He had ran ole Girl off with a baseball bat , this is after Gary gave both Maria and Jey Pizzle , a few filters. You know like a filter party . Well , things had changed, drastically since it was the original Jason ad Marie hill. I mean, it was no trash at all there when we first got there. But then a year later, its like a fucking free- for- all -. This was the same hill where the original Asheville Love Dope was invented. This hill holds so many good memories. I lived there for at least a year, Or more.-off and on.

There had been some new people that were trying to front like they were there first. It's funny because Gary and I had been there before anyone. Scarlett Marie will tell you, we did whatever the fuck we wanted up there. No cops ever came up there in a year of making shit and inventing love dope, seeing aliens up there, fucking like Tarzan and Jane, partying , and doing tree yoga.

So we took the filters and put them in a can of coca cola. Wow, that was the highest I had been on the hill. I had to lay down so I wouldn't fall because of the slope of the mountain. Scarlett Marie was equally twisted and on the ground talking like a thousand psychobabblic words a minute. Gary was laughing. Like some sort of mad meth scientist , that love to get people so spun they'd act just like him- perverted and do some nasty shit. Then some shit went down. People showing up, and this was when my guard went up for my chick. Because , one of the dudes, that was trying to get her, well he has HIV now, so four years ago , he was trying to kidnap Marie and other girls like her. There was a bunch of dudes there and one of them was Solo, he is an acquaintance of mine who just so happens to be one of Scarlett's old lovers. He is about half her age. There was also another young boy there that couldn't have been more than 21. At this point, Scarlett is swimming rather hard (tripping, twacking etc,) on the filters. It can be compared to rolling on extasy or Mollie. And I noticed she has ' that look' and looks at the young kid. ( compared to us. He was a young kid) and she was so fucked up, she couldn't speak. So I said it for her. Because she still thinks I am some lame ass dude. I mean fuck, if you want to go fuck the kid Marie, then you got my permission. And I told the kid , I said , "will you please fuck my girlfriend and make her Happy" . she was wide eyed and wanted too so bad. But the deal was she couldn't leave with him. Well the kid said no, but then once it got dark, he was trying to do some shady shit with her, and I told her, ' I dare you' and him too. Well the little fuckboy was trying to take her and she would have left with him. FUCK THAT, so I bugged out. Lucky I didn't kill that kid. Because she was , like making gestures with this kid that's young enough to be her son. I flipped out and had enough of being second to the fucking people she just met. Like that fucking kid. So , I hadn't had sex with her in over a week. I was so pissed off and sexually frustrated, and just the thought of her fucking some dude instead of me. I was super hurt. I hit her foot With the same baseball bat that solo had gotten hit in the head with. Yeah, our once peaceful hill was now a full-on, fighting hilltop. She knew she had fucked up, and I was so fed up with the fucking around on me that I was in a hurt, angry , ready to fucking kill somebody mood. The games and flirting with every guy were over. If you love me then don't go fucking flirting with other dudes. Well , she left down the mountain, and I didn't even bother to chase her. 'Fuck that bitch', I thought. And almost immediately regretted what I had said and done. I stayed up on the hill alone and in a severe state of craziness and lonesomeness. She thinks its a fucking game, but that is the same as cheating. But she denies it, even when she gets caught red handed. She'll say it was someone else, or some fucked- off conspiracy theory. But what she doesn't realize is I know more about life and girls like her than she ever will. So, I said fuck it all and went to the river to make some shit with my other buddy and try and find some one else ( female), To get over her and heal my heart that she was slowly shredding to pieces.

I was at the river and still everyday looked and thought that Scarlett Marie would, someday come and be with me, and just stop fucking being around other dudes. Its not cool Marie. How would you feel, if the man you were madly in love with, just goes into a tent with some fucking random girl he just met. And then tells you something like, 'oh, I was just showing her my necklace', or some shit like that. Because you have done it more than a few times. If im lying then you're going to hell. But you see, my love for her is so fucking strong, she could do anything to me and I would still love her. As you will soon see...

When I say kidnap, I don't mean ' kidnap' in the traditional sense. Like , some of these chicks out here they want to be kidnapped. Kidnapped, as in they stay at your spot, and do all your shit and usually steal something before they just leave you. Some girls just get so spun out and get hot shotted by one of the sickos that do that shit. Remember, someone mentioned they thought someone did it to Scarlett Marie? Yeah, they probably did. She probably thought they were cool, and then they hotshotted her. And then I meet her when she's all fucked up crazy. Yeah, I made it known and people didn't like me for that. Because, I really did want her to get to see her kids. Fuck, we were supposed to have a modern family, but her kids father is such a fucking douche-fag . This dude is such a pussy boy. "Call the Cops", yeah, he's one of them. But the worst kind of cop caller. Because he actually fabricates stories and makes things appear on paper that never happened, and then gives that shit to the cops. Yeah, I didn't realize this until it was too late. I'll get to that part after this gap in time , when I didn't hear or see Scarlett Marie for almost two months.

[canceramorem]

The magical connection

[canceramorem]

@pizzlelovedope @marieclaracamp

@jasonleeplaster @streetloveandseaglass