#jeypizzle

[canceramorem]

I'm going to skip ahead a little bit, because this next part is just too good to not tell the good people about. "The People", -my good friend Donny will laugh when he reads this. "The People" , means " The People" of the State of New York vs. Jey Pizzle , or in Donny's case, "the People vs Donald D***** III. Yes , as in an official indictment , arrest, attorneys,criminal justice, my least favorite thing Ever -JUDGES! the system, jail, trials , intent and four lawyers,Getting in trouble, got in trouble,and stayed out of trouble. (Donny gets out 2023 )

Now I am not trying to say that it's cool to get in trouble, FUCK NO!, I pray my daughter never gets in trouble. kids and adults- stay out of trouble, or as my favorite Aunt Nora ( she had the same name as my mom) would say - "Keep your nose clean". In other words, avoid police at all costs. Stay below the radar, don't go around and break laws, but if you accidentally do, then be good enough to NOT GET CAUGHT. And I don't know how many times I have to reiterate this-DO NOT SNITCH, DON'T SOCIALIZE WITH , HELP, OR EVEN SPEAK TO anyone that is a snitch! Breaking the law is one thing, but breaking the Law AND Snitching! No fucking way jack! if you get caught, just tell the truth , almost, or whatever you have to do. (DON'T do what, " Do-what-you-do, Duane-The KooK did, lying and snitching- the worst kind) . the main thing is, just be cool, even if you are traveling with kits or drugs and acting afool in different states. Like I said , don't go out being a criminal. But if you do get in trouble, keep your head up, and who knows, maybe you will be lucky enough to get locked up in a good jail. I've made some bad decisions in my life and I'm not proud of it, but I have 43 or 44 ar arrests on my record, criminal history, wrap sheet, or whatever you want to call it, Thats just arrests , NOT convictions. You see, that's how they get people, they twist the truth so it suits their needs. 44 arrests, but maybe only a dozen convictions, and they were all misdemeanors . I was never- EVER charged , arrested , or convicted of any sex offender type shit. Never! I was however, FALSELY ACCUSED, of a few things, including RAPE. I am not and never could be into rape. if a chick doesn't want to be with me, I'm not gonna go out and rape her. instead, I would just go out and pay or trade some shit for a sexual favor from a trick. A lot of being lonely isn't about sex alone, it's more like just being intimately close with a female.

It's kinda like how i met this " love of my life Marie". She knows exactly what I am talking about. I was raised decent, and it's just wrong morally and it's sick. I want somebody that wants me. get the fuck out of here if you thought for a split second, that Jey Pizzle is a fucking RAPE-O!!! ( That's what they call a rapist in New York).

So where were we now, oh yes , I got to the mobile home that Marie had worked so hard, and had come so far to get. With help from DSS of course. You know , the same people that help with food stamps and social stuff. like childcare, and medicaid. Back when I was a kid, they called it welfare. and at school , if you wanted to hurt someone'sfeelings, you would say " Your Mama's on welfare' , yeah, seriously, that would really hurt the kids back then, especially if your mom was on 'welfare' . Shit , in New York State, you have to be on welfare just to survive. It's so fucking expensive there, But anyhow, yeah , I was there. Freezing outside., it was just me and my love. oh , and a decent amount of shit for the two of us. So I did what any new resident to New York does, I applied for food stamps. Since her trailer was so far out in the country, I mailed the application in, and I still had my food stamp card from when I had been to Syracuse the two times before. New york gives you a really cool EBT card, it's got your picture on it and everything, so , I applied for food stamps and the next few days is where this love story turns into something more like a nightmare. But, my good folks, God Is real,and he does miracles everyday in our lives. God is great! Always remember keep your head up " -Excelsior"- Latin for"Ever upward", the New York State Motto.

[pizzlelovedope]

[canceramorem]

WHO WANTS A HAPPY ENDING , REAL LIFE IS NOT HAPPY, ITS PURE MISERY! HAPPINESS IS a fake sense , love is an illusion, true love Doesn't EXIST, SO fuck life, fuck love, and fuck helping people

, the story is over. Marie left me for some younger guy named Shawn Fortino. He never was there for her when she was homeless and had no one. He wouldn't go to jail for her like I did. Fuck Marie Clara Camp , I hope she dies a slow miserable death. She is prostituting and he is her pimp. She took the ring I bought her (200$) and sold it to help him. He's her pimp. I was right the whole time, she never helped me, she never loved me , instead she did nothing but hurt me. She lets this guy live off of her. She supports him and was using me to help. She ruined me folks she really did. I did nothing to deserve what she did and her kids, well that was just a lie, she hasn't even seen them. In months.The whole time was just a way for her to use me like the emotional hostage-taker that she is. It was all a lie , a big lie. She never loved me. She has no heart, she has no soul. I'm so hurt, I'm actually ruined. I'm in church , crying, devastated. I'm dying of cancer and she has made it worse. I hate her for what she has done to me. I don't plan on living past the new year . It's the saddest love story ever, well that's all. She never helped me to live and I saved her life,. And what was my reward? She caused me to die a lot sooner than I should have.

Don't fall in love folks. It's not worth the pain. Goodbye...

[canceramorem]

So I would have good memories and absolutely horrible memories . One of them was a time when me and Gary were down the river and Marie was there. Jimmy came he's a friend of ours he makes jewelry and he's homeless and a nice guy. He's missing most of his teeth and he's just you know hygienically speaking , he is pretty nasty. He's also mentally ill something wrong with him upstairs but he's nice guy. So Gary had to move his stuff up from the river up to the to the mountain top, we did it we all carried one load up there and then we got up there and Jimmy bought some dope from Gary . Earlier I had noticed that Jimmy had been giving her the eyes and you know she's flirting whatever I didn't think much of it but Jimmy was grabbing to grab where her ass was supposed to be at but my leg was there and he rubbed my leg by accident saying oops. I didn't think much of it I didn't think that she would go for someone like Jimmy just didn't think but she just flirting she's nice. So we get to the mountaintop and Jimmy buys some stuff and she's begging him for a hit and whatever which I would have gave her some once we're done moving this stuff up there , she couldn't wait. So Jimmy and her are smoking on the foil the boat and Gerald and I go down to get the last load and it takes a little bit longer than usual. And when we come back she is in the in my tent, our tent with Jimmy. So, 5 minutes and they're not in the tent fucking they're making out in there and I unzip the tent and I'm like what the fuck! You know what her answer was? Her answer was , he was showing me jewelry and she was actually mad at me mad at me while she was doing that. Yeah she's give me dirty looks and just being a bitch at me for what she did in front of me like totally shattered my heart. I just couldn't believe that she would actually do that with one of my friends , yeah and she'll deny it up and down and say it didn't happen , but it did and I remember and I know she remembers. And that's what makes J Pizzle a fun dummy because he's probably should have just stopped there and been like you know what I don't need that but instead and because of the curse , the love curse he continued to love her maybe even more so I don't know but he did love her and does love her- Fucking crash test dummy! The funny thing is had she just helped us with they didn't either one of them help us with the last load they wanted to be alone up there and had she helped us and he helped us I would have gave them bunch of shit ,A bunch of dope. This is just one example. She thinks it's normal to do this type of thing, it is not, and so he pushed past this and continued to love , but the pain from it lingers and continues to linger even to this day. Because if she did that when he was with her in the same town , then what would she do if they were separated , and living in different states, but still " together".

Fucking CRASH TEST DUMMY- JEY PIZZLE

August came and the light at the end of the summer was that the one true love of my life actually did have a heart,and really, (I think or thought), loved me tremendously. So tremendously in fact, that she was willing to risk some things for me. Like risk her place to stay, , "image " of little miss - I don't do wrong, and food. Her food source. As in she can eat whenever she wants. What's her reward for such risks?

Her reward would be me, my love and the fact that I would , could , and did, make the medicine that she loved to do, it helped her. It is a medicine. She invented the ' medicine' nickname. Everyone else calls it , ' Go' , ' Clear' , or the dreaded ' M' word- Methamphetamine. So , after she somehow got in touch with me, I think it was email. We did what we always did after any length of time apart from each other - we face timed, and talked on the phone for hours, and not a couple, I'm talking 8 hour talks, we never ever had that awkward silence like most couples have . NOPE , trust me, the awkward silence has never existed in our 'magical' relationship. Her and I can talk, and not stop, for days . even when we get tired, we leave the phones on, so we are like , ' there ' with each other.

I had a little practice when it came to her asking for me to come to her. Remember, in Asheville, not only did I surpass amazing odds ( getting out of jail on p.r.), get to Fayetteville the next day. With no phone, no jacket( fucking freezing in January), and no money. And get this- with about 100$ worth of Valentines Candy -just for my one true love. Well that was baby steps. This time she was somewhere else. Somewhere I had sworn to myself I would never go to. Fucking north of Virginia, all the way to fucking New York, Nasty Fucking Syracuse to be exact. I must be stupid or just crazy in love...

[canceramorem]

COVID -19. what a fucking shit show that was and still is. It figures I would have to be incarcerated when something like that would happen. Not an epidemic a fucking PANDEMIC! any way you look at it , the COVID really sucked. . They even gave us masks that were jail stripes. At this point , I had been in jail for some time. The lawyer they gave me at first was Andrew Moses, ( currently, he's a judge- figures! ) So he was decent, but he didn't handle felony cases. So they appointed me this other fucking ass -clown named Keith Massey Jr. This guy used to work for the prosecutor, so I was fucked. It was at that point. That I lost my mind. They were trying to give me years, yes six years and all the bullshit that goes along with it. Probation, parole, post release, what the fuck ever. I knew if I had just been honest to begin with then they probably would have just let me go. It was an accident, I just wanted her to go to the hospital and get the fucking tampon out. I had no idea where she was or who she was sleeping with. Of course it's too hard for her to spend fifty cents and drop me a line. And besides that, I wanted to at least see her before I went to prison or killed myself one. I had planned out my suicide and I fell into a deep state of depression. (I found out later that she had gotten her disability benefits and got a huge amount of money, an apartment, and some new friends (GUY FRIENDS! and that she was out partying- going to bars, doing cocaine and even got caught with a bunch of Methamphetamines) I knew she was a slut, but I still loved her. ( Maybe I'm the crazy one!) YEAH, she literally had thousands of dollars and couldn't spend a measley 50 cents on the guy that saved her life and travelled thousands of miles to be with her. She used the excuse of "they told me if I contacted you then my kids would get taken. - NEWSFLASH - your kids already are with this douchebag that won't let you see them because you did him dirty too! It's whatever, she's a piece of shit anyway. She could have easily wrote an anonymous name on the letter.

The year before at the same time was when her and I did our little "outlaw"deal, and fled misdemeanor charges by going to Fayetteville from Asheville. She did like she always does and had the fucking cops come to our place we had just got( she didn't call she just caused a scene and the guy renting is the room called. ) So they came and left , but came back two hours later and arrested her. I stayed in the room and did not even let them get a glimpse of me ( remember, I had a warrant too!). So the next day, I rounded up about 12$ and took the trip to the jail which was about a half an hour away by bus. Before I went to the jail, I went by the post office and got a stamp and mailed her a letter telling her how much I love her. I then went to the kiosk and put my last and only ten dollars in the inmate kiosk, so she would at least be able to get something to eat and maybe write to me. ( She claims she wrote me and put money on my books , yeah right- fucking liar!) Remember, I have a warrant for my arrest in Asheville (3 hours away). I went to the jail and did a television visit with her. She was begging me to bond her out, her bond was like one hundred dollars.

It scarred me so bad from the fact that she just abandoned me that even to this day, I have heart problems t's my own fucking fault for falling in love with such a grimy, slimy, bitch like her. But yeah, I didn't get not one visit, letter, or phone call. Add that on top of being so heartbroken

[canceramorem]

ADIOS CORPITOS , ABBRAZAME POTSDAM NUEVA YORK

The seperation anxiety was getting the best of me. We'd been communicating pretty much most of the day,everyday. She was in a hotel room that DSS paid for while she was waiting to get into her new place, so she had plenty of time to stay online and message Jeypizzle. Pizzle on the other hand was working, his job performance was slipping downward, slowly, Jimbo and J.D. forgot exactly who put this whole crew together and making money- treating Jeypizzle like shit, and all he could think about was the love of his life and how he could be with her until the end of time, happy and getting her kids on the weekends or whatever was cool. No stress, no problems. He wanted her in every way known to man, and then some. He had to get where she was , and be with her. And when I say "be with her", I mean, he wanted to be with her for the rest of their lives, as in -a soul mate ,a partner in crime , a best friend, lover, and faithful husband. NOT a pen pal- NOT an online friend- Not someone to call for legal advice like, " who's a good lawyer to get" - and definitely NOT a "help you from a distance type of friend." Jey Pizzle wanted an all or nothing, 💯 % , ride or die , not half ass , type of chick.

Jeypizzle had spent 43 years unknowingly in search of his soulmate and partner in life. YUP, you guessed correctly, God had brought her to him on October 9, 2017 . Ever since that fateful day ,his life had never been the same, and it won't be until the day he dies. But folks, you see, the devil is real. He's as real as stage 4 cancer and almost as deadly. You see, the devil did everything in his power to make JeyPizzle die a lonely heartbroken soul. Why? Well, it's really quite simple, because Jeypizzle had a heart of gold. Pure and perfect in every sense of the word, Jey Pizzle had the capability of loving and continuing to love unconditionally for an entire lifetime. Even what most people would consider unforgivable and worthy of hate, Jey Pizzle would love more , even when the unforgivable had been done to him. Pizzle loved the person that hurt him even more. Send Pizzle to jail for two years -MOST PEOPLE=I hate her for doing that. /JEY PIZZLE= I love her even more, I need to find her and apologize. She was cheating on you multiple times with different people. Most people would say -" fuck that bitch" , Pizzle would forgive and say,-" I want to marry her"

This uncanny ability to love for a lifetime would prove to be poor ole Jey Pizzle's downfall. In a world full of venomous snakes, Jey Pizzle was a baby mouse. First the snakes would be nice enough to invite the mouse into there snake house (mobile home) and let him think he was safe and ok, and then the snakes friend and baby daddy, would slither into the picture and kill the baby mouse ( Pizzle). It's a good comparison, because there are people in the world that have the capability of doing things like that. And as you shall see, life can change with the blink of an eye. Other people's lies are just as deadly on someone they love as they are on someone they hate.

So after two months and enough loneliness to make being stuck alone on the moon feel like Disney world, Jey Pizzle did exactly as Maryjane said in Syracuse. Yes sir ,fucking Jey Pizzle went back a third time to New York and the cold and very inhospitable "North Country". He was gonna leave his beloved Corpus Christi, his paradise on earth with warm sunny weather and the Spanish language, and the best "Go" known to man. He was leaving all of this to spend two days on a horrible bus, spend everything down to his last twenty dollars on lingerie(which he never got to enjoy seeing), - to go to a ridiculously freezing place, and look forward to sex with a mentally ill woman that had retained a tampon for at least a few days and didn't know it was still in her. He would quit his job on the island and the perfectly warm weather , to go to a place as cold as Alaska with no jobs. Pizzle was basically leaving his happiest place to go to a place we where happiness goes to die. The reason, well you know the answer already, to be with the woman he loved so dear. The woman who meant everything to him, the love of his life, Marie Clara Camp.

So with about a half ounce of shit, a little bit of money, and the hope of a good future; he bought a bus ticket to Potsdam , New York. Leaving behind what he had grown so comfortable and happy with, he made his last goodbyes, and went in the bathroom at the bus station, chopped up a big line , and started a long 2,000 mile trip. Goodbye Corpus, you are the best place I have ever lived in my life. "Body of Christ" - yeah, I lived in the body of Christ, that's why I already know I'm going to heaven, because I left the body of Christ to live in Hades.. The devil's reach is far and wide, and he got me , yeah, the devil is real. Dont ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

[canceramorem]

Before I met Marie, there was Tammy in Texas, she was so hot, and really, really cool. I should have stayed in Texas . This was in June of 2017, less than Four months later, I would succumb to the love curse of Marie Clara Camp. FUCK MY LIFE!

[canceramorem]

Syracuse NY, not exactly where Jeypizzle would have ever imagined he would be at this point in his life (2018). Many years ago I swore to myself and to God that I would not travel, live or even visit any state north of Virginia. Including VIRGINIA. It should be called an " uncommon wealth" state, it's uncommonly unfair, and people like @valeriejanegreen are happy in such a miserable , fake, not quite Florida, and will never be California- state, such as Virginia. I used to have a sticker in the hotel room I resided in for two years, and it was one of those " Virginia is for lovers" stickers with a heart on it. But instead of "Lovers" , I had scratched it to say " Losers" . Yeah Valerie, you and your homeboy Duane Kookey, love Virginia and New York , "Virginia is for losers". And so is New York, mainly St Lawrence County .losers and people that are sex offenders. That's the home county of Marie But as far as I'm concerned, I would have just forgotten Virginia and points north altogether. I go south and west - FUCK GOING NORTH, FUCK NEW YORK MASSACHUSETTS RHODE ISLAND, ( I lived and grew up in Newport, Rhode Island. Do you know how bad ass Newport RI is ?) I lived by the way of points south, and to continue southbound. Well thanks Marie. Uh- hum "$carlett" .

Here is a little insight into this woman named Marie Clara Camp, a woman that I was, and still am, in fact, deeply in love with. Marie was born in 1975, July 9 to be exact. She is a cancer in the zodiac signs , and I am a Capricorn. I'm not big on horoscopes, and only recently did I discover this, that we are unlikely, but highly compatible soul mates. Marie has a disorder, well, a few actually....

Marie has 8 personalities, and all 8 of them are compulsive liars. It's not something that she (them- all 8 personalities) can control. She lies in order to preserve her Self-righteous image. Although she has a master's degree, she works in a fast food restaurant. She is such a lovable woman, but she hasn't been married ever, she goes to church , but will lie about going.

She can't stand to admit when she is wrong. ( Which is more often than not). Even when she gets caught in the act of doing something wrong , she claims plausible deniability , especially when it comes to cheating on me or flirting. Trying to twist it back on the person that caught her red- handed (me) .She will use the "poor Marie" defense,asking complete strangers for help, as if I did something to her . I have even seen her flirt with whatever man comes to her aid - because she usually makes a scene , yelling and screaming when confronted with any accusations that you bring against her. She will all but forget who I am and team up against me, with a complete stranger. saying " Jason this" or " he" did this or that ( referring to me, Jey pizzle). This always involves her denying it, and then either physically attacking me or yelling as to cause unneeded attention.

Just trying to get an honest 100% truthful answer from her is a lesson in futility, trying to get a straight forward answer from her is literally like forcing a cat into water. It's will leave you scratched ( emotionally) , and with a crushed ego. ( She will try and make you feel stupid, like you should have known that's just how she is, and shes not gonna change it ever.) She would mumble things under her breath and think that she was being honest with me. Well, she was telling me the truth, but I couldn't hear nor understand, what she was saying. It would end up with me getting so mad and upset because she said that she told me. Well, I didn't hear , so can you repeat it? And she wouldn't. Which led to me just going in circles with her and her personalities. It really is impossible for her to just tell the truth. This proved to be so exhausting, so draining that it actually caused me psychosis. So , here we were, two people in love. In love , and in this state of psychosis, but madly in love with each other. It turned out to be mind boggling , the way she would do this mumbling, and talking under her breath (Phychobabble). She thought it was normal. It was not normal. But I looked past the madness. I looked past it, and pushed forward with a love vengeance . Hoping that someway , somehow, she would just be honest with me. Because, as the zodiac suggests, and how I felt, I loved this woman . And I wanted to and still want to, is spend my life with her. I even offered to go to the psych-ward with her. Just so she wouldn't be alone in there. I meant it, I really would! But I was just a pawn in her game of power, you see to her, image is everything. She's like that Magazine 'Marie Claire' Do you think they show the real stories behind the plastic 'fake' girls that are in that magazine? Fuck No! And The Marie I fell in love with reminds me of the fake -ass ' perfect ' girls in that magazine, she paints a picture of perfection , but is far from perfect. I was and still am good with that, but at some point, we all need to be accountable for our actions, and My Marie Bear is no different. Maybe it's because she needs men to crash and burn for her. It builds up her sense of being a goddess. She has even told me she is a " Goddess" . More like a "Succubus". A Succubus that has sex with men and then steals their souls. Like she did to me. She sucked all of the good out of my soul and left me a brokenhearted, love- crippled -crash test dummy. Hopping on buses and traveling to be with her, while the whole time she was messaging " Marco Givenspace ", telling him things like " Mo and Marie". I even discovered messages between her and her online African -American lover. I discovered this gem of infidelity, accidentally. Can you imagine what this did to my heart. Hurt is an understatement. Pain is relative. This is just, I don't even know how to describe it, I guess call it , just plain old "shitty", to do to someone. To hear her tell it, she doesn't know who he is or why I saw it. I guess it wasn't meant for my eyes.

But messages to other dudes didn't matter. Bad decisions have always been a big downfall for Jeypizzle. And being so in love that it blinds your decision making process , like looking directly into the sun for five minutes without blinking, that's what the blindness was like. But even Stevie Wonder could see what was going on. I just used love as an excuse not to see the truth.

Throw in a few months of missing your twin-flame (soulmate), her asking you to come to her sooner rather than later, and the police raiding your spot, and you have the perfect recipe for "Escape from Asheville " pt 1 -brokenheart pie. Comes with a side order of regret and a big glass of fuck you Jpizzle to wash down the pain and problems that follow. What I once considered absolutely insane , I was more than ready to do the unspeakable, which was go through that damn New York port authority bus station. Toting bags, wasting money- Fucking drinks for like 6 dollars. The people , the rudeness, the cops , the everything I cannot stand, I was ready to embrace it with a big hug and kiss. And not to mention the money spent on these ' love trips ' to New York . Sure, the church financed most of them. So I guess that means I owe God for wasting church money on me , traveling on God's money to see Marie. Well you can have my soul God, well, what's left of it after she got it first, and left me with hardly any soul left. I feel like a casualty of love. That's when you love someone so much and they take all your love and don't give you back what you deserve, or at times, none at all.

This part of my departure from Asheville is still a little bit grey. I know that at some point , our hill was just off the chain with visitors, theives , junkies Angelas (nasty redhead). Yeah , it was a matter of time before shit went down. And if I was not hallucinating , then one night or really early in the morning , this day it went down just the way it should have -with me not getting arrested , and getting to Syracuse NY.

I was just casually gacked out , watching the darkness , dancing with Shadow people, and not sleeping. Which after a few days , can make you see shit . I went to check on my charging block at the Target 🎯 sign, I charged anything I need charged there. This night as I crept down the muddy embankment . I couldn't help but notice , what appeared to be Asheville police cars going down the rode single file , all the way to Chuck E Cheese! So, I crept back up the hill like a fucking crab backstepping from a big lobster. Fuck the charging blocks , fuck the gear I left up on the other Gary cook spot . I had my binoculars, some good shit, and a strong will to not get arrested, and most importantly I had the love of my life telling me she wants me and she loves me. I gathered up all of my tweeking capabilities and formed an escape- type plan. Ever -so -carefully, I avoided flashlights chasing me - , and a bunch of cops and more cops, trying to get something or somebody on the hill that was like a fucking disposal site for anything illegal. Good ole dollar tree hill had been the hottest spot in Asheville , for over a year. Since day one when Gary and I first found it. I had lived on the hill with my Marie bear, real bears ( a family of them) , and Gary . As heart wrenching and dangerous as it was , I had to leave and get to her in NY.

A big thank you to the ABCCM in black mountain for helping me get to my wife in Syracuse in September 2018, I am forever grateful for everything you-all have done for me. God is great! And we owe you immensely.

So I got into Syracuse on a Sunday. Of course , " Clara - Bell" ( same girl, different name) wasn't there to meet me at the station. She did tell me the address and it was a few miles away still. So I hauled ass, and in about an hour or so , she came out to see me in the rite-aid parking lot, hung for an hour, then went to where she was staying at , - a fucking domestic violence woman's shelter. And she was supposedly, running from me! Imagine that! Who runs from someone , yet tells them to come exactly to where they are at?

WTF , so I camped out and the usual , um , being treated like a fun dummy- is really the only thing that comes to mind. Clara Bell did bring me some food though. It was good and the cheddar cheese she brought , well it was right from New York state and was delicious, considering I was famished and just about starving.

I don't regret anything I did in the name of love or for her. I took the chances, and there is no such thing as reward without taking risk. I just want you to realize that I did everything you wanted , I was trying to overcome the odds , and at the same time make sure you were safe. The day when you walked by me and then rushed to get away so you could be with Jose, or the guy from that big church that you met the day you punched me in the head. Or whoever else, the guy from the " Ox", how you told him you needed help, and you were hanging around the fucking " Ox" . That's not loyalty, that is so hurtful to do to someone that loved you so much , locked me out of 511 Bellevue , you just hurt me so bad, I have been so faithful and really never did so much as kiss another woman. I couldn't, I really was lovestruck, love blinded , and under your spell. Here you were, living with all guys , and all these guys trying to get me out of the picture so they could have you. Finally I left new York, and left so hurt, I'm still not right to this day from that.

Getting on the bus to go to Texas , I believe that was the beginning of the end of my life, the time when having a broken heart so bad can actually fuck a person up and start cancer. It's not scientifically proven, but I know it didn't help my aging -heartbroken -46 year old self.

I felt like the biggest dummy. I had came to this fucking horrible place all because she asked me to, and not just one time! I had left when Marie went into the psych ward at St Joe's hospital and refused to have visitors. So I did what every person that wants to leave New York state does,(go to social services) I went to the Onanandaga county DSS office and pleaded for a bus ticket back to NC. well, my case worker, Stacy Butterfield asked me why. "Didn't you just come here for this woman?" - I told everyone the real reason why I was there. Which was for Marie, and nothing else. I didn't come to New York state for any kind of opportunity or to make a life there. I came to New York for the sole reason of being with Marie Camp. So I told the Butterfield Case worker lady that it didn't work out and that Marie had left me, and that she was in the mental hospital psych ward, and she didn't want visitors. Which is the truth. When she went into that hospital and she specifically told those hospital people that she didn't want me in there to visit her, I was so fucking hurt. And the fucking asshole New York Hospital security guards , they told me , just go back to North Carolina, she doesn't want you here. Well, I was at DSS the next morning trying to get back to NC. I'll never forget what the Butterfield woman said - " We are not a travel agency " and then she gave me a voucher to get a bus ticket. And I left New York and went back to North Carolina , only to return to New York a few weeks later when Marie gets out of the hospital and in a sweet caring voice ask me- " Why did you leave?". So I returned to Syracuse , because the thought of her being alone was just too much for me to handle. And when I returned it was more of the same. Except this time she was actually at the bus station to meet me, but let's jump to me leaving Syracuse and being back in Asheville while Marie was in the psych ward.

In between time when I got back to North Carolina from Syracuse the first time. I was like a zombie. Wandering aimlessly around the streets of Asheville in a daze. "Looking for Marie with a flashlight in the daytime" that's what it was comparable too. All I could think of was her . Love sick is nothing compared to " love crippled" , yes , love can do that to a person. It has a crippling effect on them. I was so love crippled , that I had to do something. So remember the character named " Tim" , he's the one who I thought was my friend . He was another homeless guy that thinks he is the shit. He is the one named in the email that I received from Marie (soundofloveintime@gmail.com) that email that says Tim basically forced her to have sex with him. All over some fucking dope - when I went to the hospital , freezing and heartbroken in the winter 2017, when we were in our early stages of the relationship. Well Tim knew I loved Marie, when I asked him nonshalantly about Marie, he answered " oh yeah, 'Crazy Marie', I bought her a cheeseburger one time". ( This infuriated me even more, because she loves food, and that was his in- food and dope). Tim was in my sights and I wanted nothing more than to fuck him up for what he did or what she says he did in that heartbreaking email from way back in 2017.

So guess who I ran into. Yup you guessed it , fucking RAPE-O - Timothy Fitgerald Wright. That's his full government name, Google it and you will see. He really is a rapist. And this is how funny life is... Tim and I had an " association" I never let him know that I knew what he did to the love of my life. So when I ran into him, I was all buddy -buddy with him. Plotting for a way to get him back for what he did while I was in the hospital. So what better way than get him where it hurts- his money. Well this was going to be easy, Tim wanted someone to open a bank account so he could deposit like 250$ in it. "Tim, I got you" , is what I told him , we went to the bank at Walmart on Airport Rd and within 15 minutes , had a balance in a checking account that was in my name, a balance of 250$. So we had to wait for the debit card to come or something to that effect. So we grabbed a box or two of some medicine so we could go to Tim's place and actually make some real medicine, you know " go" . So we got everything needed and Tim and his girlfriend Kelly, and myself headed out the long and windy road to his place in Fairview. (Tim had gotten disability at this point, had a place to live and money) We had to wait till the next day for me to actually start the medicine making process, that night at Tim's, I even talked to Marie on the phone. She denies she sent the email. Even to this day , she swears up and down that it never happened, that she never sent it. There's all kinds of conspiracy theories about it according to Marie. The point is, I got an email from her account and this fucking rapists name was in it and what it said would tear any man's heart to pieces.

So , the next day . I'm at this fucking RAPE-O clown, Tim's place . I was cleaning out the shed and getting ready to make some shit. Well, that's when three Buncombe county sheriff's deputies startled me. They asked me if I had seen Tim. I told them no , but then at that very moment , Tim comes walking out. Needless to say, he was arrested, he was arrested for rape. You see , Tim was a rapist. He was charged with raping a different woman and robbing her ( Not Marie). He was a certified rapist, and he raped the woman I love, and had gotten away with it. Tim was arrested, and I took the money that he'd given me to open an account for him. I took it and bought a bus ticket to Syracuse NY , and two days later. I was with her. There really is such a thing as God. Because Tim got what he deserved, well not completely. And suddenly , all my worries ended, and all my love pains went away, and once again, I was the happiest man on earth. Because I was with her.

She was there, at the Greyhound station waiting for me, and I hugged her so hard as if it were the last hug given by man to another woman on earth. We walked and within five minutes , we were in some bushes in the parking lot of "Destination USA" - the mall near the Greyhound station in Syracuse. We were in those bushes making love like two people that are madly in love. Cars passing by and they probably could see us. We didn't care, because we were in love , so much in love. Love is such a beautiful thing . True love never dies, I really believe that. It never dies, but it does most certainly kill. Just like the old Ed Hardy Tattoos. " Love kills slowly"

So , this is the part when Marie gets a place and the place is like a boarding house for men. She had gotten the place on her own, with help from DSS. Her landlord would prove to be another one on the long list of men trying to fuck my chick. It's very disheartening when you have someone you love so dearly , and they think it's ok to flirt. To flirt and actually get caught in the act and still deny it. Yup, that's Marie. Deny it completely , even when you get caught red handed- Just deny it.

The place was just a raggedy old ass three or four level big house. Just old. The landlord said , " make sure that when you leave, set off a bug bomb , to kill the bed bugs" . WHAT,? BED BUGS? ARE YOU SERIOUS MARIE? So, Marie didn't really want me around. I could sense it. I was staying in the absolute worst place I had ever stayed in. The "Ox" as it was called. Was short for the " oxford " men's shelter in Syracuse. It was absolutely horrible . And just the fact that I stayed there is testament to how much I loved this woman. This place was scumbag central. And I met a guy there. This guy actually knew Marie. He claims he met her there and that she was flirting with him too. Well , I don't think she knew, but this guy was out on parole and staying at the "Ox" , he was on parole for killing someone. So , here you go Marie, great choice of friends you have.Fucking flirting with murderers, and trying to get him to buy her a phone, that's what he said. And I believe him. Because he doesn't have any reason to lie.

Anyhow, so Marie finally got a place. I was so excited, we finally get some time alone. Or did we? Marie's kind heart will get you fucked up EVERYTIME!

DeeDee was this black chick that Marie had become friends with. Deedee was homeless and looking for someone to use. Well, here comes Marie on the scene. And I was there , so, I watched the whole thing go down , we met DeeDee on the street. She was trying to get Marie to take off and leave me. And like so many other times, I begged Marie , I begged her to tell DeeDee to get the fuck gone. It's always other people that get in our relationship and fuck it up. I've been telling Marie this from the very beginning. But , she thinks it's "cool" to help people and put them before me, because that's what she does , and did with DeeDee , and many others, so , here we are stuck with Marie's new friend DeeDee. So we go back to Marie's place. Dee Dee is upstairs and Marie and I are in her downstairs bathroom. We got so high, and we fucked so good, any man that had Marie after that night could not compare to what I did to her, and the way I made her feel . I had pretty much ruined it for any man after that night. That night set the standard for having sex and having sex with Marie. At one point I had her on her head , upside down , and right side up. It was, most definitely, no doubt in my mind , the best sex humanly possible. To finish it off , we decided to go up to her room. And set up a little divider , you know a partition like , so we could continue our night of sex. That's what we liked doing, getting high and having sex, literally all night and into the next day . Sometimes , for days. Yes, I could perform like that, and Marie, well , she's a machine. This chick can fuck like no other. I guarantee it. That's another reason why we are so good together, not good , PERFECT! So with DeeDee on the other side of the room, I commenced to going down on Marie . I was eating her out for at least three hours , if not more. Time stands still when we are together. And this time it wouldn't be any different. I was and still am , a master at cunnilingus . Marie will tell you, my head game is serious. But this particular night, I was going to town , eating , sucking , licking , you name it- for at least three hours , I was. Until I started itching. Then I would stop and scratch. And scratch some more and itch some more. And then DeeDee said, are they biting you too? Well folks , it's a wrap. Fucking bed bug psychosis is real. And I had it . Those fucking bed bugs ruined it , and me . I'm scratching now. Just thinking about it. Well, the next few weeks turned from bad to worse. With Marie locking me out of her place and leaving me alone to stay in some fucking shit hole shelter in Syracuse, a place that I only went to , because she asked me to. I was so hurt , and actually ruined from that experience, I wanted to get as far away from her as possible. So I gathered up my courage, and went to the Catholic Charities , and asked for a ticket away from her and there.....

So I returned to a place that I would never in a million years go to. And she acted like I was just some dumbass . Some fucking fun dummy, which I was. And the fucking pain she caused was like no other. And I will never forget, the lady from the Catholic Charities in Syracuse , the woman who brought me to the bus station , her name was Mary Jane I remember because she told me as she helped me into the terminal. She said " you'll be back" well, she was with the church. So maybe it was God , communicating through her. But either way you look at it. She was fucking right. Because as you will see if you keep reading this story, I do come back to the state of New York, whick would make it a trifecta of stupidness. A three- dummy strikes -and your out- you big Dummy, Jpizzle!

And so, it was Thanksgiving day in 2018. I arrived in Corpus that night. I was in a place I loved , but without the only woman I loved. Actually , she is the only person I really love. I love God, but I love Marie even though she does what she does. She doesn't realize the pain she causes. God , help me. I feel like a dog that was just dropped off at an animal shelter. Not given any reason why, just abandoned. My heart is hurting me really bad right now. I think I'm going to cry, God , why does love hurt so bad?, See there it goes, that fucking good heart of mine. It's like my heart is addicted to the pain called Marie Camp. Even after all the bullshit, and her doing nothing to improve our getting back together. She is happy without me, she has her ' freedom' as she calls it. Free to help out other dudes , freedom to fuck whoever, and freedom to delete her numbers and or block me. Freedom from me, what she fails to realize , is I will leave her alone, FOREVER. Because , my days are numbered. Yes, they really are. They told me , I have stage four cancer that has metastasized to my bones, yes, all throughout my body, the cancer has spread. And is thriving on my brokenhearted soul...

Although , at times , I feel as though , she knows, I am the best man for her. And that there isn't and won't ever be, someone that loves her as much as I .

[canceramorem]

After a little bit of bullshit, I had to set Scarlett straight. Because there really were people out to get her, get her away from me. And also to keep her hostage to Asheville. I believe it to be the mountains and just the place itself. These mountains are so unforgiving, and the secrets that they must hold. And after all, we were a bad ass couple that were a result of Asheville. The place really is like no other place on earth. In so many ways. Some say its " weird" , well that's an understatement. Asheville will fuck you up and have you coming back for more , as if you liked pain. The pain that is Asheville. Because , when it wants, the place can be down right evil. I mean , look at me. I've left and come back here so many times its like almost a dozen times. And now I am not far away from becoming a permanent part of these hills. Its like Asheville gave me a terminal disease, so I would never leave her again. Yeah, Asheville is definitely a bitch and not a dude.

So , the last time Marie and I would actually be together in Asheville was July 2018, right before her birthday. ( God that just made me fucking cry! OUCH! ) , IT WAS July 7, and we had a filter gathering , you probably don't remember. You were in a different personality, it was actually a 9th personality I didn't even know existed within you. Remember, I said from the beginning, you have 8 personalities, and I knew all eight of them. Ok

HE SAID TO TELL HER THAT SHE HAS EIGHT PERSONALITIES OR ALTER EGOS OR I DONT KNOW WHAT ITS CALLED. BUT YEAH I WASNT KIDDING.I HAVE MET ALL EIGHT. .

[canceramorem]

We really were trying to do the right things to get her reunited with her kids. I mean, for anyone to say different would be a lie. This is us after we took a parenting class offered up by the USO , and the Cumberland county D.S.S. office. Marie was the one that signed us up, and I didn't think twice. After all, its a package deal when it comes to getting into a relationship when there are kids involved. I had no problem with the fact that she had kids. I love kids, I wish I would have had a thousand kids. They are a gift from God.

'Carmen ' was the instructor for the classes, we were the only people there, so Carmen gave us more attention. It was awesome, I would do it again . It's too bad that Marie has not been recognized for even this small achievement. Best part is - pizzle and marie did classes voluntarily- We didn't have to attend these classes. Poor woman, she knew she was in for a battle with the lamest dude I have seen in my life.

(@duanekennethclookey).

This dude is so shiesty he uses kids and custody to have people file false police reports. Definitely not a southern Gentleman. More like a northern Douche-Fag-Fuck-Boy , straight outta St. Lawrence County New York , where the courts and judicial system is more corrupt than a backwoods, Mississippi Burning lynch mob . There's more fucking Rape-O's in that fucking place than anywhere I've seen in my life. And they are not in jail. It sucks so bad up there, it really does. Jeypizzle hates anywhere north of virginia- Hell- I don't even fuck with Virginia. It's a commonwealth- police type state. No sir, for Jeypizzle to go to the frozen, snitch-friendly, Rape-O infested wasteland call "the North Country" aka St Lawrence County New York, then you must have a 24- karat gold lined pussy or a lot of drugs. Because , Mr. pizzle told himself many years ago, that he would NEVER go as far north as Va. That's what Marie failed to tell Jason, was that he would be going up against a lying , scary ass fuck- boy that didn't know shit! Scared that a fucking black widow spider's gonna bite him- bwahhh hhaaaa.hhaa ! What the fuck! Dude, have you even thought about moving to Texas? Because Pizzle made up a new rule for pussy -ass fuck fags that think they are a real man . If you haven't lived in Texas for at least one year, then you ain't shit. Because it takes a fucking real man to live and work in Texas ,(pizzle lived there for six years) The NORTH COUNTRY, ha -fucking place reminds me of a homosexual county that's run by lying snitches don't help beautiful woman with anything. Fucking scared of spiders? You know what Jey Pizzle had for pets when he lived in Robstown, Texas? You're Godamn right, I had a few black widows in 20 oz. Plastic coke bottles , that were my pets. I would feed the Texas-sized VIUDA NEGRAS (black widows in Spanish) the big red ants that are also called BULL ANTS- (because they can take down a bull with there bites). Yeah it was cool as fuck feeding my babies them fucking red ants.

To think that fucking- do-what-you-do-duane, was so scared of the non aggressive black widow Spiders , that makes me fucking laugh so fucking hard. But to hear him tell it, he's a "real man" get the fuck out of here, dude you need to go kill yourself, for real. Lame-ass fuck- boy .

So yeah. The pen is mightier than the sword. I mean, we didn't want any shit . just to be happy and have fun raising kids some of the time, so they don't turn out like him- all lame as fuck and scared of shit. Maybe teach them how to surf, or speak Spanish, or even just play monopoly. Something different than being with their dickhead-daad-duane. We weren't trying to take his kids-they are her kids too! So this dude goes all out with the snitching.

That comes in a year , in 2019, when Marie is actually in the same county as her kids. We had gotten the parenting class done , and we were looking forward to parenthood. Nothing bad , just fucking trying, we really were....

[canceramorem]

So this would bring us to the second half of this timeline of love . The best is yet to come, complete with bed bug psychosis, NY , and sex stories from jail, and game night in the jail with female inmates. Where is the love? You thought @jeypizzle was crazy, shit you don't even know the half of it. How many times did you go to new York? WTF pizzle! @pizzlefundummy