#As Roman would say “You’re such a dad it’s too much to handle sometimes”
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Patton: I’m on the prowl for the best thrift store deals.
Patton: I guess you could say I’m ‘Goodwill’ hunting.
Logan: Sir, please take your sweater vest and get out.
#As Roman would say “You’re such a dad it’s too much to handle sometimes”#lol poor logan#patton can torture him in any AU I put them in#the bad dad puns#thomas sanders#sanders sides#logan sanders#roman sanders#ts roman#patton sanders#ts logan#ts patton#incorrect sanders sides quotes#incorrect sanders sides#platonic logicality#logicality
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Here's something i came up with from the prompts🙈
15. [Slapping] Kendall on the face because either:
- he was being too cocky
- dirty talk went too far
- wont shut up about how shitty his dad is during sex💀
Hi I loved all of these ideas haha . I kinda tried to put them together all in one🤭 Hope you like it👀
One Shot Request
Kendall Roy x reader, Kendall Roy x You, f/m
Contains: smut, Kendall Roy being cocky…😏
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~💗~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Working in an office job with rich narcissists wasn’t really your thing. But here you were, following Frank, your father, around Waystar. He got you the job because there was job openings available and he wanted you to be just like him someday. Your first week there was already a lot, it was crazier than you thought it would be.
“What, is it daddy daughter work day?” Was the first thing Roman Roy had said in your direction.
“No, I am just giving her some training. She starts tomorrow.”
Roman looks at you, “Right. Just promise me you aren’t as annoying as your dad. He is very annoying.”
“I’ll try my best.” You reply.
So, that’s how you met Roman. As for his brother, he was the complete opposite. While Roman was busy with his dumb little jokes towards you like he was your own little brother, Kendall stayed quiet while it was your first few weeks there. You’d see his eyes on you sometimes or even just feel them on you. You didn’t really think much of it until Roman stops you one day as you’re walking past his office.
“Hey, get over here.” You hear him say.
You turn and walk into his office, “What do you want?”
“Sit, make yourself comfortable. I have something rather pathetic to tell you.” He says with a little giggle.
“Oh god,” You really weren’t ready to hear it as you thought it was going to be something pointless.
“It’s not about me this time I promise. All though, I am quite interesting.”
“Just get on with it.”
“My brother. He wants to fuck you.”
You look at Roman and can’t tell if he’s bullshitting you or not. “What?”
“Yeah, he wants to fuck you. He can’t seem to keep it in his pants cause he’s so pathetic.”
“You’re full of shit.” You say as you get up from your chair, not believing a single word he says.
“No, I’m serious.” He laughs. “He really told me, face-to-face. He said he’d try and get you but he was afraid he’d scare you off and you’d file some assault charge. He thought it was ‘unprofessional’ to fuck an employee. I told him to not give a fuck.”
“So, you encouraged him?”
“I mean, yeah. Why wouldn’t I? I’d fuck you, you’re… fucking… hot.”
“Okay, no. I am not sleeping with you.”
“Boring.” He replies with a shrug, “Now, go away I have stuff to do.” He says and shoos you away with his hands.
As you leave his office, you can only try and think if what he had just told you was actually the truth or just some stupid prank. That was the thing about Roman, you never knew if he was really joking because he was always so childish.
Of course, out of what seems to be a coincidence, you and Kendall run into each other as you are making your way back to your desk. He stops in front of you instead of just walking past which makes you stop too, looking up from the ground and at him.
“So, Roman doesn’t keep secrets very well does he?”
“Uh, I’m sorry?”
He smiles, “It’s my fault, really. I should have known that he doesn’t keep his mouth shut.”
“You heard?”
“Yeah, I mean, how could I not? His door was wide open and he spoke loudly as he ran his mouth.”
You don’t know why you were embarrassed. It’s not like you said anything bad, it’s he who should be embarrassed.
“Right.” You reply, “Well, I guess your secret’s out.” You joke, not really taking the whole thing seriously. But Kendall was taking it very seriously. He meant what he said to Roman a few nights back. He felt as if he couldn’t handle it anymore and he needed to at least try and get at you.
“I guess so.” He replies.
“And, you’re not embarrassed by that?” You ask.
“No, not really. Why do you think I should be?” This was high on power Kendall Roy. A grin on his face while he was being so manic and cocky. This was now your third week and you already saw many different sides of Kendall.
“I don’t know. I would be if I were you.” You say with a little chuckle, “I mean, we’ve spoken what? Maybe twice?”
“Yeah, and twice is good enough for me.” He grins.
“Is it crazy to say that I think you’re more immature than your brother?” You tease.
He laughs softly with you, “Oh, very crazy. I am not immature, not as immature as him, that's for sure.”
“Prove it then.”
“Uh, I know the best answers to things, not just business related of course. I know what I want and I’m not too much of a pussy to go for it. Oh, and I actually know how to fuck without being awkward.”
“Right. You’re oh so mature but you just go and roast your younger brother just like that? Like a little boy wanting to win? Real mature.” You tease. “You know, I’ve never meant someone more cocky than you?”
“But you like it.”
“No, I don’t”
“Yeah, you do.” The same grin stays on his face. You honestly had no idea where all of this confident and flirty personality of his was coming from. But like you said before, Kendall Roy has many sides to him
“I do not. Now, is there anything else ridiculous you have to say, or can I go back to my desk?”
“Actually, there is one more thing.”
Oh great.
“And what is that?” You ask.
“There's these printed files tucked away in one of the conference rooms, I need help grabbing them.”
“You need help grabbing papers? Located in an empty conference room?”
“Uh huh, that’s right.”
You can’t help but grin a little bit. You don’t know why, but you reply with, “Okay, I’ll help you. But then, I’m going back to my desk.”
“Deal.”
You follow him to the conference room. You knew that the whole paper thing was bullshit, you followed him anyway.
Before you know it, you are in an empty conference room with no windows that face the office, only ones that face the city.
As soon as he closes the door behind the two of you, you don’t even care to still pretend that there are papers, you just cut right to it.
“You know, my dad’s going to kill me, no actually, he’ll kill you.”
Kendall jokingly looks around the room, “I don’t see him anywhere.”
“You know what I mean. If he finds out about this, finds out that you, Kendall, are a part of it, he’d never respect you again.”
“Not a problem. He’ll have to respect me if he wants to keep his fucking job.”
“You don’t get to decide if he keeps his job, Logan does.”
“Yeah, but not for long, soon it’ll be up to me. Hey, speaking of m dad, he’d be so fucking angry about this.” He says with a laugh. His hands are now slowly travelling up your thighs. “But I don’t give a fuck on what he has to say.”
As his hands continue, you begin to back up and sit on the edge of the long conference table. He pulls your skirt up over your hips.
“Of course you don’t. You only care about yourself.”
“That’s not true. I care about you right now.”
“Do you?”
“Uh huh.” He says lowly. “Can I touch you?” He now whispers in your ear.
“Yes, just don’t make me regret this.”
“Oh, trust me, you won’t. I’ll be the best guy you’ve ever had.”
His cockiness really made you dislike him more, but it also turned you on more than anything. He pushes your panties aside and plays with your clit for a few seconds before he brings his fingers down and fucks you with them. A sound leaves your lips as you look down at his hand.
You don’t even hold back and put your hand on the back of his head as you kiss his lips. He kisses you back in need but the kiss doesn’t last long as you have to pull away to moan and gasp into his mouth. His fingers stretched you out since you hadn’t gotten laid in so long, they stretched you out because they worked you better than your own skinny little fingers.
He kisses you again and then breathes out a little chuckle as he listens to the quiet noises you make for him. “Oh, I could only imagine how much my dad would hate this.” He laughs a little at the thought of his father being angry, “And I used to care so much to please him. I’ve learned not to give a fuck anymore. I like seeing his stupid little angry face. I like doing what I want.”
“Ken, can you maybe like… not talk about your father while your fingers are inside of me? I’d like to not think about him in a situation like this.” You breathe out.
“Right, right. Sorry, it’s just that, I think it’s funny how I used to care so much. But I make up my own fucking rules now.”
You grind your hips into his fingers to give yourself more pleasure and grab onto his shoulder with your one hand. It’s almost as if you needed him to shut up in order for you to cum, but he keeps going,
“I make my own rules, I fuck whoever I want and I will win.”
“Kendall,” You say his name, meaning it as a warning that you want him to shut his mouth but it comes out as a whine. This only encourages his cockiness and boosts his ego.
“God, he’ll be so fucking jealous of me. He’ll wish he never,”
You don’t let Kendall even finish his sentence. Instead you let go of your grip that was on his suit jacket and slap him in the face. You don’t even know why you did it, it’s like you did it without thinking. His fingers freeze inside of you as he looks back at you. You can’t help but look back at him and then laugh.
“What was that for?” He asks in a serious tone.
“I don’t want to be cumming around your fingers while you continue to talk about your shitty father and your cocky little fantasies.”
He doesn’t reply, he just grins again.
“Oh, what could you possibly be smiling-“ You don’t finish your sentence. He pushes you down so that your back is on the table. He spreads your legs wider and unzips his pants.
“Kendall, what are you doing?” You ask, looking at him standing in front of you. You knew exactly what he was doing but you asked anyway, shocked at how fast it was all happening.
“Just be quiet and let me do what I need to do. I know you want this as much as I do, you being so wet gives it away.”
“Someone could walk in at any moment.”
“Unlikely. This room is only used for meetings. It’s our lucky day, none are scheduled today.”
“Well, someone could hear us.”
“You think I’ll make you feel so good that you won’t be able to keep quiet huh?”
Okay, fuck you.”
“Just be as quiet as you can. We’d hate to have someone find out that Frank’s daughter has her legs spread for me on a table wouldn’t we?” He says teasingly and then lines himself up.
“Just fuck me before I change my mind.”
He smiles and grabs your thighs, not waiting any longer to grind his hips forward. You are so tight around him that it makes him moan lowly.
You gasp before a little whimper leaves your lips. He grabs your hips now and pulls back before thrusting forward again but a little faster this time. He groans then chuckles a little at how good you feel around his cock.
“Tell me you’re not going to regret this.” He says as he continues to fuck you on the conference room table, finding and setting a pace.
“As much as I hate to say it, I won’t regret it.” You breathe out before you’re throwing your head back and moaning at the feeling of him pumping into you.
“I knew it.” He grunts out, “I fucking knew you would love having me like this. Am I the best fuck you’ve ever had?”
“Just shut up.” You whine.
“That’s not answering my question.” He looks at your eyes now as he continues his brutally slow but rough thrusts.
“Yes, and I fucking hate that that’s the answer.” You close your eyes and whisper his name.
“Why?”
You’ve never had a guy talk so much during sex. Hearing him speak like he was having a normal conversation only with grunts and moans in between makes you want to scream in pleasure.
“Because- you’re… Kendall Roy.”
“Yeah, I am. So what? You should be grateful to have me like this rather than be a stubborn little girl.”
“I am not stubborn.”
“Yes, you are.” He begins to set a faster pace now, making sure that you get it in your head that you should be “grateful”.
“No- fuck you.”
“What, are you gonna give me one of your weak little slaps again?” He chuckles, “Go ahead, you know it actually turns me on when you’re all annoyed and stubborn. I like a little challange.”
You can’t believe that his stupid degrades and his cockiness makes your orgasm arrive but they do. You don’t even warn him before you’re finishing around him. You aren’t even thinking straight as you moan out loudly, not covering your mouth at all.
It only takes him a few more seconds, with his thrusts now getting messier, he follows close behind and tiny grunts leave his lips before he’s pulling out and spilling on your thigh. You’re both catching your breaths and you look up at the ceiling, not believing what you just did. It was crazy, but you didn’t regret it.
“How was that?” He says with a chuckle, fixing himself up to make it look like he didn’t just fuck one of his employees.
“Good, but never again.”
“Sure… right.”
“You don’t believe me?”
“You’ll come back. You won’t admit it, but you'll come back.”
You shake your head and smile a little. Maybe he was right.
#kendall roy#fanfic#ao3#fanfiction#kendall roy x reader#kendall roy x you#kendall roy smut#jeremy strong
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what we get about marianne, I guess, is that she runs up debt (possible hoarder?) partied with the roys once upon a time, or at least connor, (possible addict, like kendall and roman?) she's *seems* estranged from logan and ewan. she's divorced and again, like, doesn't *seem* to have any relationship with greg's dad, and greg never mentions him, and they haven't had any scenes interacting, so that makes me think she raised him alone, or that he flat out died. they haven't talked since season 1, and that could be an accident or done on purpose to show that she's cut him off like ewan did, and I think there's a scene where greg mentions that he had to cancel her cards. which gave me the impression that he was used to...idk how to put this, taking care of things for her. it made me wonder when that started because she's too young for her adult son to be handling her finances. that's senior citizen stuff, if it has to happen at all. all that and nic's comments about her make me go, "huh." like I don't know if I'm reading too much into it all, or if I'm just reading
Essay and speculation. incoming
Dude [gender neutral] I feel you I’m constantly latching into every little scrap of info I can get about Greg’s life prior to the show and his relationship with his mom, grandpa and absentee dad. I never know if I’m reading too much into these scraps or they’re there on purpose?
The hints (if they are) we do have point to a pretty sad story honestly.
I do remember Nic saying Greg comes from a “broken family” and saying “his dad isn’t around, his grandpa is distant and his mom feels far away” and that fuels his attachment to the Roys because he wants to be a part of something. He wants a family.
Either Jesse or Nic also said Greg was raised by his mom so I always assumed his dad bailed? Maybe after his affairs were found out? But of course that doesn’t mean he had to cut contact with Greg so there’s something even sadder than just a divorce there. Like either Marianne made sure he didn’t see his father or his father chose not to see him and both options are..heartbreaking :(
And the only mention of his dad in the show we get is Caroline saying he was a gay slut but Greg’s reaction always catches my eye
Someone said maybe it’s the first time he’s heard his dad is gay but I am almost positive that’s not the case. That’s not surprise on his face it’s resignation and discomfort. It’s a why did you have to bring that up face?
Which presuming his dad bailed than of course it hurts to have that thrown in his face as a funny joke (because it isn’t funny to Greg I’m sure, it ruined his family)
And we don’t know when his dad bailed. If his dad ever tried/tries to contact him? (Presumably he doesn’t from the interview where Nbraun says he’s not around)
we don’t know if it was a messy divorce (I feel it in my bones that it was) and we don’t know how it affected his mother (particularly if she already was rather unstable) and Greg himself as a child and even now as an adult.
I can’t imagine having that hanging over your head when you’re working for some homophobic conservative company with your homophobia enthusiast uncle. (This becomes downright sad if Greg is gay too)
The sad thing seems like it’s something people know about. Caroline mentions it casually at the CCD in front of Shiv (who wasn’t really listening but still).
I’m actually surprised (but Not because I’m not sure they’ve thought about it) none of the Roy kids rag on him for it. (Or have in the past) Shiv and Connor probably wouldn’t. Roman definitely would and honestly I could see Ken doing it too. Maybe in a less homophobic manner because he sometimes tries to posture but Ken can be a dick too
The only reason I can think of is that they don’t think about it or notice Greg’s presence so that’s not even on their radar.
The Roys fling insults and verbal attacks around like it’s nothing. It’s practically family fucking bonding for them lmao. Sometimes it’s as jokes and sometimes as genuine attempts to hurt so I would not be surprised if they turned haha your dead is gay and took off on you into a joke (I mostly can see Roman doing it honestly)
I could however absolutely see Logan throwing it at Greg if he got really fucking pissed at him (manifesting this for s4 because I’m horrible and like angst) “What are you a fucking faggot like your father, Greg? Is that it? Are you queer?”
And I could see that severely upsetting Greg. It’s cruel, it’s embarrassing if said in front of other people, and it hurts. (Especially if it’s true)
Whether he’d bite back I don’t know. We’ve seen him yell back at Logan twice but also he’s really skittish with him otherwise so I guess it depends on context.
(I went through a ton of interviews with Nbraun one night hoping for Greg scraps I do not have the links tho. You can find em if you Google Nicholas Braun succession interviews lmao)
He mentions he thinks Marianne sheltered Greg to some degree and never pushed him to get out there before the show (I get the impression this is like her last resort because Greg keeps fucking up)
And with Nic’s “this is a guy who’s never felt compelled to do anything in his life until now.” And then goes on to talk about how Greg has this strong streak of ambition because it’s his chance to be someone for once in his life and be like the side of the family he always wanted to be a part of. (And he did say that last part. Greg has always been envious of them to some degree)
(He did say he thinks Greg might have sold weed in school which showed a little entrepreneurial spirit he supposes)
Ewan seems absolutely incapable of forming any sort of emotional connection with his grandson. We’ve never see him interact with Marianne so we can’t say what the relationship is like there.
Nic stresses that Greg wants a relationship and connection with his grandfather but there just isn’t one. Ewan is incapable of giving Greg that.
You’re right it is weird Greg is handling her finances. I’m not sure if it’s just that one card or he’s dealing with her debt in general. When Caroline asks how his mom is he replies “debt free” and that’s before Ewan cuts her off and she panic buys nutribullets. (Lmao)
So it seems to be a reoccurring problem for her? Like one that might even be known to the family at large if he’s blurting it out to Caroline who just nodded like ah yeah that sounds right.
Nic and Jesse discuss that Ewan was stingy with his money and Greg and Marianne had to sort of ration out what he gave them. So, that implies he might have been financially supporting them at least a little? But not as much as he could have been for whatever reason.
And If they were already trying to manage what small amount they were given and she is bad at handling money..
But yeah she seemed to be in contact with the Roys at some point. I kind of headcanon there was a big fallout with Ewan and Logan that ended with them completely estranged. But before that they saw them maybe every once in a while.
Caroline mentions seeing baby Greg which I’m not sure if that’s in person or if she meant in photos?
Shiv knows his name when Logan doesn’t lmao
“Greg the Egg” is a nickname so they are vaguely aware of his existence lmao
But Marianne also did have Marcia’s number or claimed she did, she said she was going to call to tell them Greg was coming (Marcia however was trying to get Logan to reconcile with Ewan so it wouldn’t surprise me if she reached out to them)
Connor mentions knowing her “Your mom is funny, I remember she sat on Gore Vidal’s lap.” “Who’s..Gore Vidal?”
I think..if I had to guess based on the information given, both Greg and Marianne probably feel a fair bit of resentment towards Ewan for not giving them the life they see Logan give his kids when Ewan absolutely has the means to do so. And that makes sense. They’re probably left wondering why do they deserve it and I don’t? Why am I not worthy of it, I’m a Roy too? (Even if not in name anymore)
So I think things would be very different if Ewan simply didn’t have the money to give. There wouldn’t be that deep resentment of “why do they deserve it but not me?” I think that probably factors in a fair bit with both Greg and Marianne’s behavior.
Marianne doesn’t seem to have any emotional attachment to that side of the family either so I could see her being quite bitter about it all and the hand she was dealt. (The Roys aren’t exactly easy to love though)
She doesn’t seem even a little concerned about Logan and while Greg barely knows him so it makes sense he’s not particularly affected by it, she probably saw her uncle growing up more than Greg ever did. Then again Logan is a generally horrible person so they could also be why lmao.
She encourages Greg to strategize, to choose who’s more important [Roman or Shiv] and if that isn’t Roy behavior I don’t know what is.
And this might just be me, maybe I’m too soft but I thought her refusing to give Greg any more money was…harsh? Like I get the impression this definitely isn’t the first time Greg has called her asking for money but he literally had no where to stay or food to eat? Dude had to sleep on a church pew and then stay in that horrible little youth hostel. (And take food in dog poop baggies from work)
Like Shiv stole his last $20 while he was on the phone with his mom lmao.
So, that was kind of an asshole move in my opinion.
However there is also the chance that she doesn’t actually have money to give him and that’s a different case entirely then.
Running up her son’s credit cards is an absolutely shitty move regardless of circumstances though.
She does however apparently tell Ewan that Greg has no money and tells him or feed him when he’s in town. Ewan says exactly that when he comes before the vote of no confidence.
I think it’s interesting she hasn’t tried to visit him in person though? Like wouldn’t she want to be more involved in that side of the family from what we know about her? Why doesn’t Greg ask? It might very well be because the Roys simply never invite her tho. There must be a reason but we don’t know what it is.
So she does care about Greg even if she seems rather harsh and distant with him. Greg seems perpetually frustrated with her but he clearly does love his mother.
As for Ewan and Marianne. We know after the whole inheritance business Ewan cut her off too for some reason? I can only think it’s (1) he’s mad she sent Greg there in the first place (2) he’s punishing Greg by punishing his mother and both options are quite horrible.
He’s taking care of her money shit and I know we can’t really count deleted scenes as canon but I am STILL emotional about the deleted scene of Greg panicking during the “shooting” and saying he needs to call his mom :( I think he does try to call her in it.
(There’s also a scene after that where Tom mocks him for it but Nic said he couldn’t get through the scene without breaking character.
I think he says something about “it was Tom making fun of him after this genuinely vulnerable moment where he’s terrified he’s going to die and he just wanted his mother” I believe Tom says something like “What? Are you going to call your mommy?” And..oof)
There’s just these hints of tragedy and dysfunction in that side of the family too that haven’t been fully explored and I desperately hope they will be in future seasons.
I mean I know I stress this a lot but it’s so painful and important to me. Greg turned down a guaranteed quarter of a billion dollars because Logan said he likes him.
Likes.
Not even “love” just “like” my dude is desperate for even the bare minimum of affection so I can only assume he never got it at home
I can’t stress how genuinely heartbreaking that is? A quarter of a billion just because Logan said he liked him and this is after boar on the floor too!!!
And that’s the thing isn’t it? He doesn’t even get that bare minimum of “I like you” from his own grandfather. Greg offers Ewan affection and while he does come off as a suck up to get shit sometimes I think it is genuine too. Ewan doesn’t react or blatantly rejects physical affection.
He doesn’t even say “I love you too:” back to Greg says it. He would rather sit in silence for 12 fucking hours in the car than talk to Greg. He acts like he’s a general annoyance and disappointment at all times.
And then of course the inheritance business which is blatant manipulation:
The most we got from Ewan on Greg was “I have tried to show you as much love and compassion as I’m able” and that’s as he cuts ties with him. (“As I’m able” at least he’s somewhat self aware I guess? Because he’s not capable of it like..at all)
Greg was going to leave Waystar until Logan said that. (Logan knew what he was doing)
Tom also plays on Greg’s desire to be a family in a rather cruel way in s1. When he’s telling Greg about the death pit and telling him to look at the papers, Greg initially doesn’t want to look because obviously he doesn’t want to be implicated.
He only looks when Tom looks him in the eyes and says “You’re family.” And Greg literally thanks him for saying that and looks in the folder. (Tom knew what he was doing there too)
Greg has become less easy to manipulate with this I think as the seasons go by. After Greg Sprinkles he seems very skeptical of Logan’s claims they’re concerned about him and he does not fall for that alone this time. He turns it into a negotiation. He’s learning..for better or worse.
(For his own emotional well-being it’s better he not rely on affection from the Roys tho)
Oh Nic also does mention a big factor in why Greg went with Ken is because of “Greg Sprinkles”, it hit Greg that these people don’t actually care about him, he isn’t worth shit to them. :(
Tom cements that in the s3 finale, “who’s ever looked after you in this fucking family?” And the answer is obvious. Greg knows it.
(I think he could still be manipulated with it again if someone really put a least some effort into it though)
Ah sorry for rambling It’s fascinating to me and Greg is my favorite so of course I want to know more. Greg hasn’t really been explored as a character in his own right that much and I think it’s a damn shame. He’s got a lot of potential.
#asks#for some reason the ask lost my last few edits but o well#I hope you enjoy anon :)#succession asks#greg hirsch
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3 Times Virgil Came Out to Others + 1 Time Someone Came Out to Him
I am aware that I am a few hours late, but this is the longest oneshot I've ever written
Day 3: Coming out
Warnings: Food mention, talk of sexual attraction (In regards to asexuality), anxiety, disassociation (brief)
Summary: In which the story gains a plot ft. fluff and hurt/comfort
Word count: 4025
Read on Ao3
Masterlist
1.
Virgil hadn’t been this terrified in a long time. He knew that being gay shouldn’t be that big of a deal, in regards to his two gay fathers, but he couldn’t stop the terrifying thoughts from running through their head.
What if they thought he was too young to have figured himself out? They were only fifteen after all. Is he even sure they're gay? And what would they think about the pronouns thing? Vigil had no idea where their dads stood on transgender rights.
They had planned to do it after dinner. That way he could have one last dinner of peace in the unlikely event of something going wrong. It's more likely than you think they’re gonna kick you out, you’re gonna have to live on the streets
Emile had made spinach lasagna that night. Virgil’s favorite. But he could hardly enjoy it due to the nerves stirring in his stomach. Instead, he moved the food around on his plate and attempted to pay attention to the conversation occurring before him.
He believed his dad was telling some dramatic story about some lady that came into the coffee shop. They normally would be completely invested in that sort of thing, but they just couldn’t focus with all the thoughts running around his head.
What is he gonna do if he gets kicked out? They can’t live on the streets. He can barely work a stove. How would he live on his own? Maybe Remus or Janus would take him in? No, they have their own problems. They shouldn’t burden them with his own problems. But how would he-
“Virgil? What do you think?” A voice cut through his spiral.
“Hm- wha-?” Virgil couldn’t recall for the life of them what he was supposed to be responding to. He looked up to see his parents both looking at him concernedly.
“You feeling okay, hon? It's not like you to space out like that,” Emile asked.
Virgil winced. He had to learn to be less obvious to when they were stressed. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little tired.”
They still looked doubtful. “Are you sure?” Remy raised an eyebrow.
Virgil nodded and tried for a small smile. He didn’t think it was successful, however, when his parents exchanged a worried glance. His leg bounced slightly under the table. Why couldn’t they relax?
Emile started to collect the dishes but paused when their eyes landed on Virgil’s still-full plate. He glanced again at their husband, and then their son.
“Maybe you should head to bed early tonight. You hardly touched your food. You might be coming down with something.” Virgil saw Remy stand up as his Papa spoke. He offered them a hand.
“Babes, I think that might be a good idea. You’re looking a bit pale- well, paler than usual with all that foundation you cake on. Don’t think I don’t notice.” Virgil blushed, slightly. His experimentation with makeup had been one of his ways to tone down their glaring masculinity.
In response to the first statement, maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to put this off another day. They weren’t sure they had enough energy or confidence to go through with this. With a little hesitation, they grabbed Remy's hand and hauled himself to their feet.
Emile smiled sadly at their son’s submissiveness. He had to have been really tired with the way his eyes kept wandering. They abandoned the dishes they were holding, grabbed his other hand, and started leading Remy and Virgil upstairs.
Virgil blinked and suddenly he was in their room. They sat between his parents on his bed. Emile had them leaning against their side as Remy rubbed soft circles into his back. His eyes darted around in confusion.
Remy glanced down and let out a sigh of relief. “Welcome back to this plane of existence.”
Emile smacked their husband lightly. “Sorry baby, we didn’t want to leave you alone while you were disassociating.” Virgil’s eyebrows furrowed slightly. They didn’t remember going into an episode.
Remy kissed his forehead and stood up. “We’ll leave you to your peace now. Let us know if you need anything.” Emile began to follow.
Virgil bit their lip. Was he really going to go through all this stress just to chicken out? He took a breath. He was strong. They could do this.
“Wait,” they called out, lightly. “I need to talk to you about something.” His parents halted in their place in the doorway and came back to sit next to them.
“What is it, babe? Did something happen?” Remy grabbed one of his hands.
“No, not exactly,” Virgil said. His breath was starting to stutter.
“Take your time,” Emile said, softly.
Virgil attempted to calm their breathing. It's highly unlikely that this will have a bad outcome, half of his brain rationalized. They are gay themselves, after all.
Yeah, but what about the pronoun thing? The other half argued. You have no idea what they’ll think of it.
Virgil took another deep breath and opened his mouth to speak. They may as well start with the easy one. “I’m… I’m gay.”
Remy placed a hand on his chest and sighed dramatically. “Oh thank god,” he exclaimed. “I’m not sure I could have handled it if I had to raise a straight son.”
Emile smacked him again. Virgil winced slightly at the word ‘son.’ Remy seemed to notice his discomfort and scooted closer. “Of course we love and accept you and everything, but that's all kind of obvious considering, well,” he lifted his hand as wiggled his ring finger, “Is there something else on your mind?”
Virgil nodded, “I, um, want to start using different pronouns. He/they.”
Emile lit up. “Ooh, we can match!”
Virgil’s head shot up. “What?”
Both Emile and Remy looked confused for a second before a horrifying realization dawned on them.
“Did I- never tell you I’m non-binary?” Emile asked, tentativly. They were sure they told Virgil at some point.
Virgil couldn’t help themself. He started to laugh hysterically. After a moment their parents joined in.
“I’m sorry- I just- I’m fifteen years old and you never thought to tell me that vital piece of information?” Virgil wiped tears from his eyes as he continued to giggle.
Emile was bright red. “Trust me, I’m mortified.”
Remy groaned. “That makes two of us.”
Virgil snorted. “I was so worried about how’d you react and this whole time you’re the same thing.”
“Oh honey,” Emile exclaimed. “You should never be worried about telling us something. We support you no matter what.”
“Of course,” Remy added. “What kind of hypocrites would we be if we said otherwise?”
Virgil pulled them both into a hug. “You’re the best parents anyone could ask for.”
2.
Sanders High School had an interesting dynamic. There were two main groups that everyone at school was invested majorly in. Most, if not all, of the gossip in school was directed at them. They were envied. They were hated. They were idolized. They were the closest thing Sanders High ever had to celebrities. The Dark Sides and The Light Sides.
Everyone that saw them would assume they were the rivals. Bickering and prank wars were constant. Classroom debates between members could last hours if not moderated. Each group consisted of three members.
First up is Roman Prince, the flamboyant jock and theater nerd. He was the first kid at school to break through harmful gender stereotypes. Before he came to school, any boy that joined theater was seen as weak and nerdy. Roman was the first openly gay kid on the football team- as quarterback no less- and the first jock to join the drama program. He was unapologetically himself in everything he did. He often came to school in skirts and dresses and there was rarely a day he could be seen without his signature red lipstick. Despite his smashing of stereotypes, Roman is the only cis kid in both the light and dark sides (not that everyone is out to the school like he is, or even to each other). He has the most social media followers out of anyone in the school, and was the one to first publicize the two groups. Roman is a proud member of The Light Sides.
Next is Patton Hart, the bubbly, adorable student council president. Everybody loved Patton and they loved everybody. Patton is one of the kindest kids in the school. He’s always willing to drop everything to help somebody or cheer someone up. They met Roman when they were young and they’ve been inseparable ever since. Some might say they’re dating, but a select few know otherwise.
Last in The Light Sides is Logan Berry. Logan is objectively the smartest kid in school. He is rumored to be taking all AP classes. How that’s possible, no one knows. Everyone knows that Logan will be Valedictorian at the end of the year. There’s no other logical choice. Somehow, even with all that, they also manage to be co-captain of the debate club. Patton and Roman somehow managed to rope them into their small group sometime during elementary school. Again, how that’s possible, no one knows. Logan is extremely stone-faced to people they're not close with. Some think he might be a robot with how emotionless he is most of the time. Those people, however, have never seen him with a jar of Crofters. (But if they knew their secret, everyone would think so).
Over in the dark sides, we have Janus Lies. Genderfluid icon. Their coming out started a revolution of sorts at Sanders High. So many kids came out as non-binary or genderfluid or something in between, the school ended up getting rid of gendered bathrooms entirely. A new genderfluid locker room was built in the PE building and the academic teachers revised their gendered way of teaching. But, back to Janus. They were the most sarcastic person you’d ever meet. So much so, it became difficult for people to tell if they were telling the truth. Their trademark hat and gloves stayed on no matter what the occasion. They also co-captained the debate club with Logan. They grouped together with Remus and Virgil before anyone could remember, including the three dark sides.
Remus Prince, twin of Roman Prince, is the extremely crude drama student and class clown. They are known for their dark sense of humor and sexual disruptions of class. The teachers have learned to just ignore them, as countless trips to detention were fruitless in correcting their behavior. Although they privately came out before Janus, they were more private socially when it came to their gender. Until that is, Janus came out and was accepted. After that, Remus showed no limits in expressing themself.
Lastly, there is Virgil Picani, the emo nightmare themself. He is in almost every club at school, including but not limited to drama, debate, GSA, writing, and volunteering. His sarcastic personality is no stranger to anybody, although it is much more subdued than Janus’s. Virgil came out to Janus and Remus before he had even fully figured himself out yet. He had not, however, come out to any of the light sides as gay or genderqueer.
And that brings us to today. As mentioned earlier, anyone that saw the two groups would assume they had a strong rivalry. But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
The reality is, although they did start out as rivals, the six of them have a strong friendship. They keep up the facade of competitors for sake of reputation (and a little fun never hurt anybody). Once Roman and Remus had gotten over their sibling rivalry, the six of them had discovered that they shared many of the same interests. They started hanging out after school and now it is rare to see one of the group without another.
Virgil knows that he has nothing to worry about. Roman is gay, and both Patton and Logan already use he/they pronouns. They accepted Janus and Remus without question. It won’t be any different for him. All they actually had to do was tell them.
But here lies the issue. Virgil thought they had already. It wasn’t until the first day of pride month that he realized their mistake.
They decided to make pronoun pins for all the kids in GSA. So, naturally, he made one for himself as well. They weren't publicly out yet, but it was perfectly okay for them to wear them inside the safety that was the gay-straight alliance.
Virgil was struggling to attach his pin to their shirt when Janus came over to help. Virgil noted the blue bracelet. Janus looked surprised as he read the contents of the pin.
“You told them?” He asked, incredulously. “I thought you would tell me when you finally did it.”
Virgil was confused. “What do you mean? I came out to them… shoot.”
Janus snorted. “You totally don’t need to tell them. This isn’t getting out of hand at all.”
Virgil blushed red. “I honestly thought I did! I’ll do it now, okay?”
They didn’t wait for a response before marching over to Roman, Logan, and Patton and dragging them outside of the classroom. He ignored the curious looks of their classmates, most likely wondering what they were fighting about this time.
They closed the door behind them and looked around quickly, making sure there was no one else around. He turned back to the group that was looking at him, slightly concerned.
Virgil rolled their eyes at their expressions. “Oh calm down, I just forgot to tell you something, is all.”
Logan cleared their throat and straightened up. “And that is?”
“I genderqueer, he/they, and gay.”
“Yay!” Patton exclaimed and pulled him into a hug. “I’m proud of you for being yourself.”
Patton pulled back and Virgil caught the expressions of the other two. Logan was looking at him with a delighted expression on their face. “I had my suspicions.”
Roman furrowed his brows. “So did I, but I must ask, why wait so long to tell us? Surely you knew that we would accept you wholeheartedly.”
Virgil snorted. “I actually did the same thing my Papa did with me. I thought I told you all ages ago.” They all laughed at that.
“We should probably get back,” Logan remarked, “Thank you for trusting us enough to tell us this.”
3.
Virgil felt nervous, but not extremely so.
He knew nothing would go wrong. So many kids had come out in the past year at Sanders High, the school had made pronoun pins mandatory to avoid misgendering. All they had to do was wear the new pin he had grabbed from the office the day before. He also planned to wear a rainbow shirt to identify themself as the flaming homosexual he is.
The only real thing they were worried about would be the gossip surrounding them for the next week or so. Someone coming out is hardly a rare occurrence, but they were one of the most popular kids in school. He was certain that there were at least a few bets going around school on whether they were queer or not. To be fair, he was the only member of the Light and Dark sides to never confirm any rumors about gender or sexuality. And it's not as if he’s really hid anything. He’s just never confirmed.
But they’re ready to change that. They pull on their rainbow shirt, do their makeup slightly more dramatic than usual, and debate for a moment over the plaid purple skirt his dads had gotten him a few years ago. It matched his usual hoodie perfectly, but he had yet to wear it outside the house. There was no reason not to wear it. Why not spend his first day publicly out AGAP (as gay as possible)?
They arrive at school with an air of confidence around them that he hadn’t felt in a while. As he walked through the hallways, he saw a few looks of disappointment, but most were of excitement and joy. They caught a few thumbs up and cheers in the crowd as well.
He found the other two members of the Dark Sides standing at Virgil’s locker, both wearing identical looks of pride as they stared at him. They walked directly up to the pair, smirking slightly. Once he was within earshot, Remus grasped their head with one hand and Janus’s shoulder, striking a dramatic pose.
“Do you see that Jan Jan? Our little slime monster is all grown up!” Virgil rolled their eyes at their best friend’s antics. Janus lifted their wrist to show off her pink band. Despite the new rule about pronoun pins, Janus still kept her bracelet system in place. She claimed it to be simpler and more efficient.
She slung her arm around Virgil’s shoulders. She leaned in and said in a low voice, “I really am proud of you.”
Remus jumped on his back. “That makes two of us!”
+1
Virgil had always enjoyed Logan’s company. They were the only person out of the group of six that allowed him some peace.
He could also be a captivating conversation partner. Listening to Logan ramble on about whatever he was currently studying was one of Virgil's favorite pastimes. The way his eyes lit up when you asked him about something they were interested in was adorable. And his voice would take on this gorgeous tone to it that Virgil knows not many people get to hear.
Their weekly study session was the thing that Virgil looked forward to the most. Every Thursday, they get to spend hours in a room with the most beautiful person he knows. They love the way Logan will straighten his tie or fix his hair even when they’re both immaculate. He loves the way they slowly and patiently explain the answer to something Virgil gets wrong, never criticizing them or getting frustrated.
Virgil may have developed an itty bitty crush on them over the years.
Not that they will ever tell him. They don’t even know where he stands on sexuality. He has only been open about their gender. And he doesn’t want to complicate their relationship for the sake of some silly crush.
The two of them sat in Virgil’s room doing homework. Logan sat on their bed, while Virgil had opted for the floor. They had hardly spoken a word to each other in the past few hours (a normal occurrence for their weekly get-togethers), but Virgil could tell something was bothering Logan. They’d been fidgeting for the past hour or so, and had seemed tense and nervous all day.
Virgil placed their bookmark into his book and groaned loudly. “If I have to read one more word of this, I think my eyes might literally start bleeding.”
Logan also marked their page before looking up. “That is highly unlikely. The amount of force that would cause one's eyeballs to ‘literally’ start bleeding is far more than would be caused by eye strain. Additionally, subconjunctival hemorrhage has not been linked to overuse and is instead usually caused by some sort of trauma to the eye. So unless you are planning to hit yourself in the face with the book, it will not cause your eyes to hemorrhage.”
Virgil huffed a laugh, internally cooing at how adorable they are when explaining something. “I guess you’re right. I can’t read anymore though.”
Logan cleaning their glasses on the edge of his shirt. “I agree with that statement.”
Virgil looked at him closely. Cleaning their glasses is a sort of nervous tick for him. And they had done it multiple times in the last hour. “Okay, what's going on? You’ve been nervous and weird all afternoon.”
Logan cleared his throat. “Nothing of importance.”
“So there is something!” Virgil exclaimed.
They blanched. “No, of course not. What would be wrong at the moment?”
Virgil gave them a look. “I never said that there was something wrong.”
Logan stood up quickly and started gathering his materials. “Well, it’s getting late. I must head home now in order to be at dinner at an adequate time.”
Virgil grabbed their arm. “Wait, Logan, there’s still hours until you need to leave. If you really don’t want to talk about whatever’s bothering you, we don’t have to. But if you do, I’m here and ready to listen.”
Logan shot them a grateful look. “I truly appreciate that Virgil. I will keep your offer in mind.”
They resumed their study positions and all was silent for a few minutes. Virgil couldn’t keep their mind off of Logan. He hoped that whatever was troubling him could be resolved easily. He didn’t want him to be distressed.
Eventually, Logan stiffly placed his books beside him and turned to their study partner. At the shift in movement, Virgil also put away their materials and prepared to listen, moving to sit next to them on their bed.
“I would like you to not speak until I am done speaking if that is acceptable for you.” Virgil immediately agreed. They would never interrupt him when they were having such a serious conversation.
“My sincerest gratitude. I-” Logan paused. They took a stuttering breath. Virgil reached out and took his hand, attempting to provide some form of comfort.
“I am not a robot. I know that there are some that may think otherwise. Aside from the vast technological inaccuracies in that statement, contrary to popular belief, I do have emotions. I do experience love. Just not in the same way as others do. From a young age, I have known that I have felt no sexual attraction. The idea of sex repulsed me far more than I can explain, even past the age of maturity. I have no desire to love anybody in that way. And I never will.
“I was under the impression that the same went for romantic attraction. I had never felt any sort of romantic feelings for a female. But recent… variables have shown me otherwise. I do not feel any romantic attraction for people of the female gender or sex. I do, however, experience attraction to people of the same gender. These people fall under the male and non-binary spectrum. In conclusion, I am asexual and homoromantic. I am finished, you may speak now.”
Virgil was delighted by the news. They had just confirmed that his crush could possibly be attracted to him. They didn’t care about the asexual part. It changed none of his feelings towards the academic prodigy.
They made the mistake of staying silent for a moment too long. That became evident when he looked at Logan’s face. Any positive feelings he had melted into concern.
“Oh, Lo,” they said softly, “You’re crying.” He brought his hand to Logan’s cheek and wiped away the silent tears that had trickled down with their thumb.
Logan's voice wobbled as they spoke. “My apologies.”
“No,” Virgil cooed, “you have nothing to apologize for. You’ve done nothing wrong. You’re accepting yourself and I am so proud of you for that.”
That seemed to be all it would take for their dam to break. Soft sobs escaped his mouth and he brought up a hand to try to muffle them.
Virgil made a sympathetic noise and wrapped them up in their arms. He cupped the back of Logan’s neck with one hand and used the other to rub soothing circles into his back. Logan gripped their hoodie tightly as they cried into their shoulder.
Virgil whispered quiet words of encouragement to him. Eventually, Logan seemed to finally be calming down. His tears dwindled into quiet sniffles and they sagged into his chest. The emotional exhaustion of the day in addition to the exergy expelled by crying made him unbelievably tired.
Virgil shifted the two so they were lying down on his bed, Logan cuddled against their chest. They could feel his breaths evening out rapidly.
Virgil pressed a small kiss into his forehead, wishing more than anything that they could do it when Logan could remember.
Let me know if you want to be added to the non-existent tag list!
#shadow writes#pride month drabbles#virgil sanders#remy sanders#emile picani#ts sleep#ts virgil#logan sanders#ts logan#analogical#deceit sanders#ts deceit#janus sanders#ts janus#ts remus#remus sanders#roman sanders#ts roman#ts patton#patton sanders#fluff#sanders sides#sanders sides fanfic#tw food mention#tw dissociation#tw anxiety#tw caps
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Chaos Reigns
Prompt: The Light Sides react to Logan becoming a dark side.This one-shot is a continuation of my one-shot ‘Choking In The Dark’ inspired by the animatic, "Wires" by Anna Midnight. I would recommend reading that one before reading this one in order for the context to make sense. Prompt from iheartsolangelo
AO3 | First | Next | Masterpost
Word Count: 2955 Chapter Warnings: Food, All of the characters have some less than sympathetic moments, DarkSide!Logan, Horror Elements, Somewhat graphic description of rotting food/bugs, Spit/Wet Willy, Threats, Angst, Unwanted physical contact (non-sexual), Anger, Mentions of Death, Lashing out, Electric shock, Passing out, Swearing (Let me know if I missed anything!)
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Patton bustled about the kitchen, shifting between his various dishes as he prepared dinner for his family. Warm, humid air carried the scent of his fresh, baked bread down the hallways of the mindscape and Patton smiled knowing the lovely scent would start to draw out its residents as they sensed dinnertime approaching.
“Virgil, could you please set the table?” Patton called out at the sound of a soft shuffling behind him. A soft groan behind him let him know that his shadowy friend had heard him.
“Why’s it always me that gets stuck with the chores, padre?” Virgil drawled grumpily. “Can't you get princey to contribute every once in a while?”
“Now, Virgil.” Patton started, pulling out his best dad voice. “You know we all have to do our part to contribute.”
“Yeah, right.” Virgil groaned, pulling his headphones back over his ears as he moved towards the cupboards. “When was the last time you saw Roman wash a dish?”
“Silence, foul demon.” Roman's voice echoed against the walls as he appeared in the doorway of the kitchen. “How dare you besmirch my royal name in my absence! Where is the honor in such a cowardly action?”
“Cute, princey." Virgil rolled his eyes, pulling a stack of plates from the shelf. “How about you defend your honor by taking these while I grab the silverware?”
“Oh, no.” Roman deflected his attempt to hand him the plates as he flitted over to Patton. “I can't do that.”
“—and why not?” Virgil let out an exasperated sigh as he brushed past Roman and dropped the plates on the table with a loud clattered.
“Why not?” Roman smiled, flipping his hands towards Virgil. “Well, because that’s peasants’ work, of course.
“You’re insufferable.”
“Now, boys.” Patton interrupted as he brought the steaming casserole to the table. “I need you to play nice at the dinner table.”
“Patton, this isn't fair.” Virgil muttered, gesturing to Roman’s smug expression as he stared at him across the table. “He's just standing there watching me work.”
“Patton asked you to set the table Virgil.” Janus' hiss made Virgil jump as the man came up behind him. “Surely the task is not too labor intensive for you to handle on your own.”
“It's about the principle, Janus.” Virgil muttered, slamming open the drawer as he grabbed the silverware. “He could be helping, but he's not.”
“And yet, by some miracle, you seemed to have finished all by yourself.” Janus drawled as Virgil set out the silverware on the table. “Outstanding.”
“You’re the worst.”
“I do make an effort,” Janus replied dryly, frowning as Roman snickered from across the table. “but don’t worry, Virgil. Your complaints have been noted and Roman will be doing the dishes after we eat.”
“What?” Roman’s jaw dropped as Virgil’s face lit up. “Doing the dishes is twice the work of setting the table!”
Janus rolled his eyes, dropping into his seat at the table. “Well then, I guess you should have helped Virgil when you had the chance. Shouldn't you have, Roman?”
“I'm sorry, Janus.” Patton smiled empathetically as he came up behind Janus, leaning over to place the last steaming dish on the table. “I'm sure this wasn’t what you signed up for when you decided to move up here with us.”
“Oh, please.” Janus smirked up at Patton as Roman and Virgil took their seats. “Neither of them has started throwing food yet, so this is already a step up from handling Remus.”
“Good. I'm glad you’re fitting in okay, kiddo.” A smile twitched at the corner of Patton’s lips as he glanced around at his family. “Now, let's eat. I'm sure everyone is starving. Has anyone seen Logan?”
“Geek's been quiet for a few days.” Roman muttered impatiently. “He's probably in his room making a schedule for when Thomas is allowed to breathe.”
“Roman, be nice.” Patton chided him quietly. “Those kinds of words are hurtful.”
“Come on, pops.” Roman pressed. “You know the Microsoft Nerd can barely function when he's not micromanaging the rest of us. Guy sucks pretty hard sometimes.”
“I know Logan can be a little overbearing sometimes, but you still don’t get to call him names.”
Roman sighed, muttering under his breath. “I didn’t hear a disagreement in that statement.”
“Maybe I should go grab him—”
“Do you have to, Pat?” Virgil asked, absently sipping at his water. “Can’t deny it's been nice to eat a few meals without a lecture.”
“Both of you are done speaking until you can say something nice.” Janus snapped with a quick hand gesture, silencing them both simultaneously. “I don’t know what’s gotten into either of you but I've had enough of it.”
Patton shifted nervously, feeling an uneasy chill run up his spine as he took a step towards Logan’s room. “I'll be right back. I'm going to go get him.”
“Oh no, Patton.” The lights flickered and dimmed as an echo of Logan’s voice chilled the air, sending shivers down Patton’s spine. “I really think you should sit.”
All eyes turned to the head of the table as the air seemed to be sucked from the room, leaving them breathless as they stared at Logan. His now jet-black hair was perfectly gelled back. Not a hair was out of place as his eyes glimmered with a danger fire as he straightened the tie on his charcoal-grey suit.
Roman was the first to shake his shock, turning back to the rest of the table. “Will someone explain why the professor is trying to out-edgelord our own resident killjoy?”
“Lay off, princ—”
“Oh, Roman.” Logan’s threatening drawl filled the air with an ice-cold chill, stopping Virgil’s protest in its tracks. “You have such a pretty face. It's too bad you have to ruin the illusion with the words that come out of your mouth.”
Roman stalled for a moment. “We have the same face—”
Logan grimaced, sending a sudden shudder of fear straight to the hearts of the other sides. “Truly, what an awful, grating noise you make.”
The other sides watched in horror as a unsettling grin spread across Logan’s face as he held up his hand and snapped. In an instant, Roman jumped out of his seat knocking his chair back as he batted at his arms. The creative side immediately looked to Logan for mercy as a bright, red crystal crept up his arms but his eyes were cold as he ignored Roman’s pleas for help. Within moments, he was completely frozen in place, completely encased by the crystal.
“Would anyone else care to interrupt me?”
Logan stare turned to each of his former friends’ faces. Silence quickly dampened the room as his empty stare crept up into an unsettling smile.
“I thought not.” Logan continued in a hushed tone. “There are going to be some changes in the way Thomas operates and I don’t particularly care whether any of you like what I'm doing or not.”
Silence hung in the air between them for a long moment before Janus leaned forward on his elbows, bringing his hands together in front of him as he stared down Logan from across the table. “What about Thomas? Surely, you don't believe our creator is going to support your little coup.”
“I'm so glad you asked, Janus. I intend for keep Thomas distracted until it’s too late for him to change anything.” Logan’s white teeth glistened in the dim light as his dark eyes locked onto Janus. “Fortunately, I have a little help in that department.”
A sudden gasp and a shriek for Virgil and Patton respectively surrounded Logan on both sides as the room dropped into darkness. The darkness only lasted a few short seconds but reprieve did not follow as a subtle green light started to radiate from the table. Logan let out a hollow chuckle at Patton and Virgil’s horrified expression as their beautiful dinner turned to rot. Maggots curled in the casserole and the plate of vegetables Patton had spent so much time on oozed a steaming green liquid that seemed to be creeping closer to its maker as Patton edged away.
“Remus, enough.” Janus reached his hand up and snapped, expecting the illusion to fade away. The look of shock on Janus’ face was met with a knowing smirk from Logan across the table as the feast of horrors remained.
“Oooooh,” Remus cooed in Janus’ ear, coming out of the shadows. “Looks like the dirty light-sider doesn't have control of me anymore.”
“Don't underestimate me.” Janus scoffed nonchalantly as Remus leaned over his shoulder. “Controlling you was always about more than just my powers.”
“Oh yeah?” Remus purred into Janus' neck. “If that was true, could I do this?”
Janus flinched as Remus popped his pointer finger in his mouth before shoving it in Janus' ear, still glistening with spit. “Remus, you undignified ball of waste. I’ll kill—"
“Don't touch him.” Logan’s calm voice distracted Janus' rage as he attempted to shove Remus away.
Remus smirked as Janus hesitated, side-eyeing Logan as he gauged the situation. The moment's hesitation drew a giggle from Remus. “Well, what do you know? I might like it when Logey-Bear gets possessive.”
“I'll give you a chance, Janus.” Logan stated plainly, rested his hands in his lap as he ignored Remus’ statements. “You still have the potential to be of use to me. Join us and you can spare yourself a lot of trouble.”
“I don't think so.” Janus stated, glaring at Remus as he stood up out of his chair. “In fact, I think I'll go have a word with Thomas about your actions and see what he thinks of your attempt mutiny.”
“That’s an unfortunate choice, but not unexpected one .” Logan smirked leaning back in his chair as he shared a knowing glance with Remus. “I'm sorry, Janus, but I forbid you from speaking to Thomas.”
Janus turned his cool gaze back to Logan. “Don’t play with me, Logan. I'm the only one with the power to prevent sides from reaching Thomas.”
“Not anymore. You should have taken my offer.” Logan sneered back at Janus as his eyes darkened and he raised a hand up in the air. “Look like this is a benched trial for you, Janus.”
Logan snapped his fingers and the others jumped as Janus let out a yelp. The logical side’s face was void of emotion as the wires that had bound him for so long jumped at his command, dragging a swearing Janus into the hallway.
“Patton, don't!”
Virgil’s worried voice drew Logan’s attention to Patton as he jumped out of his chair. Logan let out a long breath as Patton glanced back at him nervously.
“You’d do well to listen to Virgil, Patton.” Logan muttered darkly, lifting his eyes to Patton in a subtle warning. “Unless you want to share Janus' fate.”
“Why are you doing this to your friends?” Patton started to shake as he turned back to Logan’s vacant stare. “Logan, you’re better than this.”
“You’re not my friends.” Logan whispered, ignoring Patton taking a step back as if he'd struck him.
“Logan—”
“Keep my name out of your mouth.” Logan snapped, pushing his chair over as he rose to his feet. He stepped forward, looming over Patton as he backed into the wall. “I should never have given it to any of you."
Patton flinched, making himself smaller as Logan slowly raised a hand to his face.
“Don’t touch him—”
Logan glanced over his shoulder lazily as Remus shoved Virgil back down into his seat.
“Ah, ah—” Remus grinned, wrapping his hands around Virgil’s collar as the anxious side squirmed against him. “The adults are talking right now.”
“Logan, please.”
Logan turned his gaze back to Patton as his wide eyes lifted up to him.
“You don’t have to do this.”
Logan scoffed, tucking his hands in the pockets of his dark suit. “What exactly don’t I have to do?
“Hurt people, Lo.” Patton whispered, glancing around at the trail of destruction left in the new dark side's wake. “This isn’t you.”
“You’re wrong, Patton.” Logan muttered, taking a step forward as he crowded Patton into the wall. “This is necessary for my survival. Not that you would care about that.”
Patton whimpered as Logan hooked his chin with his finger, guiding his face up.
“I tried to be nice—to let everyone have their say, but I won't take your abuse any longer.” Logan let out a long breath as he leaned in, inches from Patton’s face. “I lost so much of myself to the rest of you that the subconscious tried to tear me apart.”
“Oh, Lo—” Patton’s expression softened as his eyes glistened in the dim light.
“I almost died, and not only were my so-called friends not there to save me, you were the ones who led me to the gallows.” Logan’s eyes glittered like fire and his face twisted into a snarl as a raspy laugh passed his lips at the sight of the sudden guilt on Patton’s face. “Congratulations. Your friend is dead and you were the one to kill him.”
“Logan, I'm so sorr—”
“Stop. Your apology is too little and too late, Patton.” Logan cut him off, baring his teeth at Patton as waves of anger radiated off of him. “Now, I've had enough of this conversation. So, if it’s all the same to you, I think we’re going to skip the rest of this dialogue.”
The lights flickered as his statement finished and in the blink of an eye, Patton was gone.
“Patton—No!” Virgil’s cry rang out behind him as Logan turned to watch him struggle in Remus arms. “What did you do to him?!”
“I sent him into his worst nightmare.” Logan muttered. His voice held a bitterness as he nonchalantly brushed off his sleeves.
“Which is what?” Virgil muttered, shuddering and squirming as Remus licked a long strip up his neck. “Get him off me—”
“No.”
“No? What the hell is wrong with you?” Virgil hissed as Remus pulled him to his feet, curling an arm around his waist to hold him in place. He hissed, spinning on Remus with bared teeth. “Why are you even helping him?”
“Are you kidding?” Remus ran a hand through Virgil’s hair as he breathed into emo's ear. “Dr. Doom is the most interesting thing to happen around here in years. Of course, I wanted in on that action."
Virgil let out a breathy whine, relenting to Remus' grip. “Just—Fine. Where’s Pat?”
“Our dear, pun-loving father figure is in a place of my own creation, deep in the outer regions of the imagination. He's wandering the forests of guilt.” Logan whispered with a sense of finality. “Now, if he was capable of growing a spine and confronting his own feelings, I might be worried he would simply walk free, but I think we both know he'll be walking in circles trying to help the lost souls in the trees forever.”
Virgil sucked in a breath, closing his eyes as Logan stepped toward him. “Where are you sending me?”
“Oh, Virgie.” Remus purred. “What makes you think you get to leave?”
“What?” Virgil blinked, looking up at Logan. “Y-you got rid of the others.”
“They've served their purpose, Virgil.” Logan smiled, feigning innocence as he ran his fingers along Virgil’s jaw. “You still have so much to give.”
“No.” Virgil muttered, staring at him incredulously. “I won't help you.”
“Don’t misunderstand me. I'm not giving you a choice.” Logan whispered, gripping his chin as he forced Virgil’s chin up. “In fact, you’ll only become more useful the harder you choose to fight me, so go ahead and resist with all your might. You’re nothing if not persistent, Virgil.”
“Why me?” Virgil’s shoulders slumped. “What could I possibly do for you?”
“Without Roman's dreams or Patton’s misguided attempts at morality, Thomas will need another reason to stay motivated.” Logan whispered, gripping Virgil’s collar as electricity flickered on his hand. “So, I think we're going to get those neurons firing and stir up a little panic. What do you think?”
Virgil’s eyes widened as the electricity crept up his body, pulling a groan from his lips as his body lit up in a blue light. His knees collapsed as the light flickered and faded, barely held up by Remus' arm wrapped around his torso.
“You won’t get away with this.” Virgil moaned, feeling his vision start to fade. “We won't let you hurt Thomas.”
Remus' giggle in his ear made his heart drop. “You better focus on surviving first, edgy boy.”
Virgil shivered, feeling himself sinking in Remus' arms.
“Don't worry, Virgil.” Logan’s ice-cold voice drew his attention up to the bitterness in Logan’s eyes. “At least I haven’t threatened to prohibit you from breathing yet.”
“I didn’t mean it, L—"
“Too little, too late.” Logan interrupted as Virgil’s eyes fluttered closed. Letting out a long sigh, he turned his eyes up to Remus with a devilish smile. “Are you ready, Remus?”
“You better believe it, white and nerdy.” Remus grinned, flipping Virgil over his shoulder. “I'm ready to wreak a little havoc on Tommy boy's brain.”
“Good.” Logan smiled as he straightened up, adjusting his glasses. “Then, we move on to phase two. Your particular set of skills will be essential for our plan to succeed."
Remus grinned. “That's a lot of fancy words for you to say you’re excited to see me fuck things up, teach.”
“Indeed.” Logan’s devilish grin widened as he glanced around the abandoned meal, letting out a chuckle as he turned to follow Remus as he carried Virgil out of the room.
---
General Taglist:
@somehow-i-got-an-account @justanotherhumanstuff @im-an-anxious-wreck
#sanders sides#sanders sides fic#sanders sides fanfiction#sanders sides fanfic#ts patton#ts virgil#ts roman#ts janus#ts logan#ts remus#dark side logan#choking in the dark#Chaos Reigns#one-shot#villain writes
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Son of a Preacher
Summary: Patton Hart lives in a small town. As son of the local preacher, he’s supposed to be an example of a good Christian son. While trying to meet expectations, one boy might change his life.
Pairings: Mainly intruality, with side analogical and roceit
Warnings: Alcohol, underage drinking, religion, implied abuse, homophobia, swearing, mentions of sex, internalized homophobia. I think thats all but let me know if theres more
All Parts Next Part >
Chapter 1
-
Patton Hart had always been a good kid.
He went to Church, he helped clear the table, kept his room tidy and his grades high. He never went to parties, or did drugs, or drank anything other than the wine he had for communion. He never acted out. He didn’t want to ruin his family’s image of the perfect “traditional” family.
His mom was a teacher at the town’s elementary school and taught Sunday School on the weekends. She always had dinner on the table at 6pm and hosted bible study groups for the local moms every Wednesday and Friday.
His dad was the town’s preacher. Everyone knew him. They all loved and respected him. He was looked up to by many in town as both a leader and as a great father.
His older brother Percy had been the star of the high school football team. Popular at school and was now engaged to the former head of the cheer squad. He got accepted into multiple top colleges for his athletic abilities. He was the “perfect” son, even though Patton knew of several impure things Percy would do behind their parent’s backs when he lived at home.
And then there was Patton. The sweet boy who rarely got in trouble and did everything he could to be as “perfect” as his brother. He was the kind of boy every parent in town would want their daughter to marry. Though, he never was interested in dating. At least that’s what he told his parents. There was one thing he kept hidden from them.
He was gay.
-
Sunday was a church day as always. Patton and his mother in the front to be close to Mr. Hart as he gave his weekly sermon. Something about some sinner in the bible and what not. Sometimes his father would start talking about how being gay is a sin.
If only he knew.
Patton gets up in the middle of him talking, excusing himself and listening to his mother tell him to hurry back. He just wanted to get away from the homophobia before his brain starts acting up again. He walks to the bathroom, the smell of alcohol affronting him as soon as he enters. Two boys stand in the corner, drinking from a flask and laughing at some crude joke one of them told. He tries to just quickly go into a stall without drawing attention to himself, but is noticed by one of them. “Hey, you’re the preacher’s kid, right?”
Patton gulps and nervously looks up with a nod. “Y-Yeah... You know you really shouldn’t be doing that here...” He knew both of them from school. In fact, his best friend was ‘rivals’ with one in drama club and twins with the other. The pair, Janus and Remus, were the complete opposite of Patton, which made him extremely anxious about being alone in the same room as them.
Remus was tall and muscular, dark eyeliner outlining his eyes. He had one brown eye and one green eye, and was totally identical to his twin except for two things. Personality, and mustache. Janus was average height and equally intimidating to Remus. His black hair covered his eyes some, though the big scar that went over his left eye was still visible.
Remus’ eyes light up as he grins. “Wanna tryyyy iiiit?” He holds the flask out to Patton, who very quickly shakes his head. “Your loss!” Remus laughs as he takes another sip. Janus sighs, grabbing the flask from Remus. “You’re already drunk enough. I swear if my flask is empty and I have to deal with my dad almost sober... Dammit Remus!” “Whaaaat?” He whines, pouting like a child.
Patton slips out quickly before either of them can start talking to him again. “I’ll just wait until I get home” He mutters to himself.
Remus runs out after him, Janus behind him. “Hey, what’s your name?~”
Janus sighs. “I’m sorry, I tried to stop him.” Patton half-smiles “I-Its okay... I’m Patton” Remus gasps, acting as though it was the most amazing thing he’d ever heard. “Wooooooooooow! See you later Patton!~” He giggles before running back into the bathroom with his friend.
Patton waves “Bye!”
-
“I’m gonna kill him... He thinks he’s so much better than me...” Patton sighs “You got the lead, why are you so upset?” Roman gasps dramatically. “Because he... he... he’s just a bitch!” Virgil chuckles as he sits at the lunch table with his boyfriend. “Yeah, and Roman just wants to fuck him.” Logan laugh as Roman flips them off.
Patton grins a little before fake glaring. “Language!”
Virgil rolls his eyes, knowing Patton was only joking. “Sorry dad! I won’t say fuck anymore.”
Patton sighs and laughs. “Don’t make me use the finger.” He jokes, waving said finger at them playfully.
Logan snorts “Yes Pat, because that would be so effective.” Before Patton can respond, someone speaks behind him. “Hey preacher boy~” Patton looks over, seeing Remus again. “H-Hi”
Roman groans “Fuck off Re...”
Remus shushes Roman “I’m having a conversation. How are you Patton?”
Patton blushes a little. “I-I’m good. Uh, how are you?” He asks back. He noticed the way Remus’ hair looked so soft and fluffy, his mustache appearing to match. He wanted to run his hands through it and stare into his eyes.
As soon as those thoughts popped into his mind, the familiar thoughts of hostility towards his sexuality returned. They came any time his family said homophobic things and anytime he seemed to get feelings for a boy. Before he can get too lost in his own thoughts, Remus replies.
“Good. Janus still wants to kill me for drinking his flask.” Roman furrows his brows. “Don’t you have your own?” “Am I talking to you? Anyways, I better go before he finds me and starts bitching about Roman again. Bye!”
“Bye!” Patton giggles and waves, blushing as he turns back around.
Virgil raises an eyebrow. “Patton’s got a crush” “On my brother? Really Pat?” Roman groans.
Patton blushes more “He’s cute... His mustache looks soft...”
Logan grins “I think Patton just likes bad boys.”
“I... Oh there’s the bell, gotta go!” He says quickly, rushing out of the lunchroom.
-
Patton walks home, smiling as he heads to the pond he always goes to on the way. He smiles and sits on the bench, pulling out the ziploc bag with a few slices of bread in it out of his pocket. He starts tearing the bread, throwing the pieces into the water for his “duck friends”. He sits contently for several minutes, then notices a familiar face slightly up the shore from him. He moves from his spot and stands behind Remus. “Hey!”
Remus turns around and smiles widely “Hi PatPat! You like frogs?” He asks, holding a very small frog in the palm of his hand with the gentleness of a little kitten.
Patton gasps “So cute! Can I hold him?” He smiles when Remus nods and takes the frog happily. “Hi little buddy!”
Remus blushes at the sight but quickly regains composure. “I come here sometimes to go frog hunting. I like to look for bugs too.” Patton chuckles “I can handle frogs... not so much bugs, especially spiders. I like to feed the ducks everyday. I give them a little snack. We’ve become quite good friends... if you want, I have some bread left. We could sit and feed them for a while.”
“That sounds nice” The pair sat on the bench, now feeding the ducks together with the little frog hopping around between them. Patton felt happy sitting there with him. He felt free and relaxed. It wasn’t until Remus reached over to touch his hand that his brain moved from autopilot.
“Can I kiss you?”
#sanders sides#patton sanders#remus sanders#roman sanders#janus sanders#logan sanders#virgil sanders#intruality#roceit#analogical#tw abuse#tw alcohol#tw religion#tw homophobia#tw internalized homophobia#my fic#my wriitng#son of a preacher
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First day
Hey! I can’t believe I was actually able to write this, but I’m so glad I did! This is (probably just) a oneshot based on this Parent AU created by @remuscore, because we all know I just had to write about Remus being a parent.
Sorry for any mistakes, hope you enjoy it!
Summary: It’s Roman’s first day of preschool or dealing with enough kids to fill a classroom for that matter and he has never been more excited. His father, Remus, on the other hand, can’t stop himself from worrying that, just as he did as a child, Roman will have difficulty adapting to the new environment.
Characters: Remus Sanders; Roman Sanders; Patton Sanders
Warning: Swearing, one mention to eating a bug, food and first day of school as a main theme.
Word count: 2259
It was midnight. Remus finally threw himself on the bed and closed his eyes. After one minute, the daylight broke through the windows, hurting just as much as the screamings of a child.
“Dad! Dad, wake up! Wake uuup!”
“Wh… Roman, it’s…” He squinted at the cellphone, his vision still getting used to all that light and brightness “...It’s time to wake up” He sighed heavily, letting the phone fall from his hands. The last day finished, like, seven hours ago, why did he already have to deal with another day?!
“Yeah, that’s what I sayied”
“Said” he corrected, closing his eyes again hoping that, somehow, a few more seconds would be enough for him to be ready to be a functional human being. It didn’t work, but he had to at least pretend to not be dead inside anyway “What do you wanna eat?”
“Breakfast soup!” Roman opened his arms and a smile from ear to ear. Very adorable, his father thought. Would be way more adorable if you didn’t scream at seven in the fucking morning.
“I think the cereal is over, buddy” he sat with effort, his entire body feeling like it had been hit by a train “We ate it all… yesterday. I guess. But we have… hmm… Something. Probably”
“Dad looks scary”
“I know”
“Really really scary. Like a zombie. Or, or, a witch! Or Dragon. Dragon witch!” Remus smiled tirely. His son’s excitement was almost contagious. Almost.
“Thanks for the regards” he mumbled, getting on his feet and grabbing Roman, who was busy jumping up and down on the bed and making it even messier than it was before.
There were the remains of an egg bowl and an out of date ketchup in the fridge. And that's it. Remus did his best to keep the curses that came to his mind, well, in his mind.
“There must be something in the pantry” There was. One packet of cookies. “Eggs, cookies or both?"
“Cookies!” Roman exclaimed.
“Cool, but I’m gonna make the eggs cause you’ll need energy for your first day of school.
“Cookies give energy!” Roman pouted, crossing his arms. Remus ignored him, grabbing the eggs and then turning to the kid, frowning.
“Hey, when was the last time I gave you a shower?” If Roman was a little older he would have replied "you’re asking me that?!” but when you are three, you don’t really understand why it matters how frequent your showers are.
“‘Lastday’?” he asked more than anything, after stopping to think a little. Remus sighed again”.
“Yesterday, ok, go…” would it be too irresponsible to ask his son to shower by himself? “You know what, the eggs can wait, let’s take a shower and then find your clothing and your backpack and…” Jesus fucking Christ we’ll never be there on time.
“Kay!” There wasn’t anything that would bother Roman. Not now that the possibility to go to school and make friends and be cool was so close.
The shower was fast and messy. Roman got really close to falling, like, three times and their neighbors probably weren’t happy with all the drama he made when Remus tried to dry his hair.
“You act like I’m trying to rip off your head, not just dry your damn hair!”
“I want Patton! Patton not mean! Dad mean!”
“Patton is also not here and it’s over. See? You’re alive” Roman showed Remus his tongue, grabbing his towel in a dramatic outing and going to his room.
Remus always believed in self expression. Even when you are a child. That's why he let his son choose an old glitter t-shirt, beach shorts, a red cape and spongebob shoes to go to school. Which can be either a questionable or great parenting method. I’ll let you decide.
“You look neat!” His father complimented when Roman sat down at the kitchen table, waiting for his breakfast.
“Dad is lying!
“I never lie”
“All grown-ups lie” Remus looked down at the eggs in front of him. Yeah, I guess he’s right, thought to himself, I can’t afford to be honest all the time if I want to be good at adulting. Or, as he liked to say, adultery.
“Ok, but I’m not lying now. You do look good” he gave his son a thumbs up, sitting down and putting the eggs in front of them.
“I want cookies!” Roman complained, refusing to eat.
“You can take the cookies to school, how ‘bout that?”
“The whole packet?” the child asked, half-closing his eyes with suspicion. Remus smiled lightly.
“The whole packet”
“Cool!” the oldest checked the time. The family had five minutes before their ride got there.
“So. I guess I should give you, like, a school talk”
“Not really.” Roman said after swallowing.
“Hum. Okay. First, don’t worry about not making friends, I know all of this is new, but I’m sure that you’ll be fine”.
“I’m not worried” Oh excuse me Mister.I’m-a-Fucking-Extrovert.
“Oh. Good. Yeah. But also, like… don’t be so sure. Like… if not everything goes as planned or if you don’t make that many friends, y’know-”
“I’m gonna make friends, I’m not weird like dad” Roman interrupted. Remus tried to not seem as offended as he was. Turns out being called “weird” is harder when it’s your own son.
“Cool, cool. But I also feel that we should establish some rules, I guess?
“Estab what?
“Create some rules and follow them”
“I’m great at following rules!” he exclaimed. It could have come as sarcasm if he wasn’t too young for that.
“Ok. First: no nicknames. Call people their actual name for the love of god”
“But what if their names are boring?”
“Especially if their names are boring.” Roman seemed almost offended, but nodded reluctantly.
“Two: y’know the bad words I say sometimes? Don’t say any of those. Ever” he could only imagine the headache it would be trying to deal with a teacher after his son told a kid to go fuck themself.
“Ever?!”
“Ok, not ever, but not until you are ten, let’s say”
“How long is it?
“Not that long. And finally. Don’t get into any fight. Please.
“I won’t! Unless someone is mean to me, right?
“No. Not even if someone is mean to you. At least not for now” Roman tilted his head.
“But you always say that” He changed his posture and tried to imitate Remus’ voice. “When people are bad, you gotta be bad back”
“I said this, like, once and… It was different. If something goes wrong at school, we may have to pull up with some sh- things I don’t know if I can deal with”
“Like what?” Remus was spared from having to answer that and make his worst fear even more real as a horn echoed from the street. Roman immediately got up, running to the door and screaming: “Patton! Patton is here!” Remus opened a relieved smile for a lot of reasons, letting the closest he had to a father get in.
“Hey Kiddo, it’s so good to see you!” Patton said to both of them, hugging Roman and them the twenty years old man.
“Sup” Remus simply mumbled, too prideful to let the guest see how grateful he was for the possibility of a break. “You guys have fun here, I have to find this little brat’s backpack…"
“Hey! Dad ‘have be’ mean to me the whooole morning! Tell him to be nice!" Roman commanded.
“Your dad is just a little tired, sweet, I’m sure he means no harm. Oh, I really like your cape! Where did you buy it?
“I made it myself! And dad helped a little, I guess”
“And by a little he means I did most of the work and he put those stars at the bottom” Remus replied, coming back with his son’s backpack.
“Oh, you two did very well! So, is everything alright?” He took a look around, putting his hands on his waist.
“Yeah, I hope” Remus answered, not really sure of it himself.
“Well, I’ll have to trust your word, kiddo, cause we’re kinda late. So, let’s get going!
Patton probably had some deal with the devil. That’s the only way he would be able to handle a whole trip with Roman - And Remus too, who knew himself to also not be easy to deal - and still keep it cool.
“Here we are” said as the small building got in their gaze, full of kids and screaming and social interactions and oh god, Remus was so glad he never even considered to be a teacher. Roman didn’t even think twice, already opening his door and starting to run toward the school.
“Fuck! Hey wow, stop right there!” Remus immediately followed, the panic growing in his chest and dispeling the tiredness for a moment. He grabbed his son by the arm, trying to at the same time be careful and resolute “You can’t just go running like that! Some car could have… Oh god”
“I’m fine!”
“I know. I just. Do you want me to be there?” Why is school always so fucking scary? Even when you are an adult, apparently, from how all those gazes felt on his skin “Or maybe if you want, Patton can go with you…”
“Dad can go with me there!” He then grabbed Remus' hand and proceeded to push his father with all his determination, guiding them both through the school even if he had no idea where his class was. But they figured it out after a couple minutes.
“I guess it’s here, isn’t it?” Remus asked more to himself than anything. His son nodded.
“Don’t be sad, dad. I promise I will make a ton of friends and be cool and popular” He opened his arms to give emphasis to his words. The oldest smiled.
“I’m sure you will, buddy. But also, if you need anything, I’ll be there, so…
“You’ll? But isn’t it just for the kids?
“Yeah, but you still need some adaptation period and I have to stay while this.
“I don’t need ada- adap- this thing! I’m so totally fine!”
“We don’t really have a word in that, buddy. Now, where is your teacher…?” He looked around, but it didn’t take the man a lot of effort, since a smiley woman wearing the school uniform was already coming in their direction.
“Oh, you must be Roman Prince, right? Nice to meet you!” she leaned down to the child’s height, still keeping that smile on her face.
“Nice to meet you too” He exclaimed back. Remus was relieved he remembered the cumpriment.
“Why don’t you go meet your new friends? We have hot dogs!
“I love hot dog!” He runned toward the food without second thoughts, leaving Remus and the nice normal lady alone. He tried to smile too, but it probably didn’t look as genuine considering all his nervousness.
“And I guess you must be... “ She analysed the young adult from his multiply pierced ears to his ripped pants and worn boots. “Roman’s brother?” That would be easier, wouldn't it?
“No, I’m…” He held out his hand to greet her. “His dad. Remus Prince, nice to meet you”
“Oh” She didn’t accept his hand.
“Yeah”
“Can I talk to his mom?”
“Of course! When I find her I’ll let you know” She flinched. Fuck, wrong time, wrong joke. “Yeah, if Roman needs something I’ll be there” he vaguely pointed to a bench, speed walking in it’s direction.
You know someone is awkward when they still have problems dealing with school even after they already finished it. He sat there, trying not to see so… what? Irresponsible, scary, wrong, useless. The last one would definitely have been easier if Roman wasn’t such a natural. He made friends before his father could say ‘“fucking extrovert”, participated in all the games, just cried once. Remus was proud, but also kinda jealous. By what his parents told him, his first day basically consisted in him eating a bug and being excluded for the whole year after that. What I great fucking way to start things.
But if Roman was so much better, I guess it meant he did a better job than his parents. Not like being better than those assholes was that hard tho.
As the morning went over, Roman got back, his face red and sweaty from all that playing. On the moment Remus saw that ear to ear grin, he knew it was worth it and couldn’t stop himself from smiling too.
“How was it?” asked just so his son could talk, which he loved too, it clearly went well. He was there after all.
“It was so cool! I made friends and we played and teacher is nice and we ‘eated’ pizza and hot dogs and watched a movie!”
“I’m glad! So… We want to come tomorrow too?” Roman violently nodded, jumping up and down.
“Yes, yes!
“Neat. How ‘bout we grab some ice cream on our way? We sure do need some food” I know, I know, ice cream is not really food, but give him a break. Also, Roman managed to seem even happier.
“Ice creaaam!” He yelled. Remus smiled again, feeling that warm feeling in his chest that was familiar at that moment. Love. It was hard, of course, sometimes he felt like he couldn’t make it, like he was just not born for the job and would eventually just screw everything. But he was trying, which was better than he could say for Roman’s “mother” or his own parents, so maybe he could convince himself that trying was enough.
#sanders sides#parent au#remus sanders#roman sanders#tw swearing#tw bug mention#tw school#portraying children in so hard#especially in english which isn't my first language#fanfic#tw food#rabbit writes
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The Perfect Cake
[OH MY GOD GUYS LOOK WHAT I FOUND!!!
A couple days ago, i suddenly remembered that I HAVE AN AO3 ACCOUNT. I completely forgot I had one. So I went back and looked at my works and holy hell guys, I had a ONESHOT BOOK! BUT I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT ONESHOTS WERE SO I CALLED THEM ‘Sanders Stories’, BECAUSE THEY WERE SANDERS SIDES. THEY’RE KIND OF CRAPPY BUT ALSO REALLY NOSTALGIC AND I’M SO HAPPY I FOUND THEM!!!!
This one particular one is called “The Perfect Cake,” and i’m actually kind of proud of past me for it, even though it’s not that good. It’s fluffy Logicality with a gallon of Patton angst because that is literally all I’m good at writing.
So I’m going to leave this here, as well as a link to the book! GUYS I’M JUST SO HAPPY!]
[In case you’re confused, the link I send will be to the whole book so the first chapter isn’t the one that I’m pasting here. This chapter, The Perfect Cake, is the second oneshot and the first one is prinxiety]
Link to book
---
Pairings: Logicality
TW: Baking, feelings of worthlessness, crying, birthday, breakdown
Summary: It’s Logan’s birthday tomorrow, and Patton is determined to bake the PERFECT cake for it (Even if he hasn’t baked that much before.) He’s trying his best, but he can’t do it alone.
---
Patton stood in the center of the kitchen.
He often had the same feeling in his stomach before he cooked something big; He had to mentally prepare himself for hours of work.
Logan's Birthday was tomorrow, and Patton had to make it the best possible birthday! This was the anniversary of the first day Thomas went to preschool- the day Logan was formed.
Patton remembered that day like it was yesterday. He remembered a small toddler with an intelligent sparkle in his eye knocking on the door of the commons, he remembered how he swore Patton's hugs might suffocate someone. He remembered growing up with him, and slowly falling in love, and-
Shoot. No. These emotions weren't logical, it was impossible for Logan to like Patton back. He had to stop thinking like that.
Illogical feelings or not, tomorrow was Logan's day to shine, and it had to be perfect. Patton had to bake the most amazing, most beautiful, most delicious cake ever to grace the Mind-scape.
Patton took a deep breath and got to work.
After a few hours, Patton had been worked to death. He had been trying and trying to make the perfect cake, but it was always just wrong, or the product of a mistake. His pink apron was wrinkled and dirty, and he had streaks of batter all over his face. He had started at 6 am, and it was now 8. He sighed and rubbed his face, grateful that he still had his optimism.
"Patton? You ok, Padre?"
Patton turned to find Roman standing in the kitchen doorway, eyes sparking with worry.
Patton smiled. "Oh, I'm alright, kiddo. Just trying to bake a cake for Logan. I can't seem to get it right."
Roman smirked and came in. "Want some help? I've never baked before, but I'll help if it's bothering you."
Patton grinned and gave the Prince a huge hug. "Thank you so much, kiddo! I'm sure you will be a great help!"
Oh, how wrong Patton had been.
Virgil had often joked about how Roman wouldn't stop singing to save his life, and Patton was pretty sure that was true. Every 5 minutes, just as they started to get some work done, the prince would start belting out lyrics to disney songs or dancing around the kitchen. They got as far as perfectly mixing the batter before Patton had to stop him.
"Look, kiddo..." Patton started, rubbing his hands together and trying to find a way to put this nicely. "You helped me make the perfect batter, and I am so proud of you for that, but I think maybe you should clock out? You have been a great help, but you... Um... Sing a lot." Patton winced, afraid Roman was going to be offended.
Roman nodded in understanding and put a hand on patton's shoulder. "Hey, don't worry about it. I know I can be distracting. Do you want me to go see if Virgil will help you?"
Patton nodded, thankful. "That would be great!"
Roman left the kitchen yelling "HOT TOPIC! PAT WANTS YOU!"
Patton watched him go with a proud smile, and then turned to clean up the kitchen.
Just as he was halfway through cleaning, Virgil came into the kitchen with his hood up. "Sup', Pop star?"
Patton grinned and gave Virgil a big hug, which the emo reluctantly returned. "My dark, strange son! I am baking a cake for Logan’s birthday, and I need your help!" Patton pulled away from Virgil, smiling. "Roman already helped me make the batter, but he can be a bit much in the kitchen. Would you mind helping out for the rest of the process?"
Virgil shrugged. "I have nothing better to do."
Patton knew that that was Virgil's way of saying "I would love to."
Virgil was very helpful cleaning up the kitchen. He had a sort of efficient way of doing things, just one after the other, not saying a word. It was kind of satisfying to watch.
It got a bit hectic after that, though. Once they were done cleaning, they had to pour the batter into the pans. It was going to be a big cake, like, "Corpse Bride" big. So they had to use multiple pans and lots of batter. Virgil had violently shaky hands, and had lots of trouble pouring the batter in. In the end, Patton had to pour all the batter himself, and the kitchen ended up very messy.
Virgil's eyeshadow was darker than when he had initially come in. "I-im sorry... I didn't mean to mess up, I just-"
Patton smiled at him and pulled him into a hug. "No no, you didn't do anything wrong, kiddo! You just had a little trouble with steadying your hands. I'm very proud of you for helping me clean up, but maybe we should get someone else to help us here? Maybe Jan?"
Virgil smirked sadly. "I think maybe i'll duck out for now, but I'll tell Janus you want his help."
"Thanks, son!"
Virgil stepped out of the kitchen yelling "HEY SNAKE BOY!"
Patton sighed. This was not going the way he had wanted it to. He did realize that if Janus ended up being bad at this, his last choice was Remus, and he was terrified of going down that road.
He had just cleaned the batter from the stovetop when Janus walked into the kitchen. "Hey Pat, did you need something?"
Pat smiled tiredly. "Hey, Janjan. I was going to bake a cake for Logan, but i'm having some trouble. Roman and Virge weren't so good at it, so I wanted to see if you would help?"
Jan rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'm tooooootally not disappointed that you worked with Emo and Sir Singalot before you thought about the second smartest person here," He said sarcastically.
"Mm-hm!" Patton managed to say before taking a deep breath to control himself.
Janus helped Patton bake the cake and even out the tops with a bread knife. The next thing they had to do was spread the buttercream filling on the layers so they could be stacked.
Jan looked in the fridge like Patton told him to. "I don't see the buttercream."
Patton walked over and scanned the fridge. It was gone.
He took a few deep breaths and ran a hand through his hair. "Where the heck is it? If I have to make more, I swear I will-"
"Make more of what?" Remus poked his head into the kitchen curiously.
"The buttercream filling for Logan's cake is gone."
Remus cocked his head. "Buttercream? Hmmm... OH! Yeah, I ate that."
Patton's eyes widened. "You did WHAT?" Remus smiled fearfully while Patton yelled. "THE ONE THING YOU EAT THAT IS ACTUAL FOOD, AND IT HAS TO BE THE BUTTERCREAM?"
For once, Janus looked worried. "Patton, are you ok? You aren't acting like yourself..."
The dad side breathed in and out rapidly, his hands running through his hair. He tried to calm himself down- He was the happy side, not the angry side. He could get through this. "I'm fine. I'm calm. I can do this."
"Gee, I'm sorry, Pat," Said Remus. He suddenly grinned. "I can throw it up for you, if you want!"
"NO! No, no. I think we will be ok," Janus said, pushing Remus out of the room. He turned to face Pat. "Patpat, are you ok?"
Janus sometimes called Patton Patpat, mostly as payback for Patton calling him Janjan. But when the two became good friends, they used them as nicknames instead.
"I'm fine, Janjan. I'm just having some feelings. Feelings are okay though! I'm ok."
Janus sighed. "If you say so."
They worked together to make a new batch of buttercream, allowing the cake to cool. The original buttercream had been baby blue, but Patton had no more baby blue dye, so they used indigo instead. They layered and stacked the cake with the buttercream, used support sticks to keep the cake from falling over, and then started to layer it with dark blue fondant.
Patton looked over at Janus. "Would you mind taking off the gloves? Sorry, but this is very delicate and I think you should use your bare hands."
Janus frowned. "I shouldn't. I have scales on my left hand, if I use it, it will leave a scale imprint on the fondant."
Patton blinked sadly at him. "Oh, ok."
Patton handled the fondant, and as he fit it into place, he thought the cake looked beautiful. "Only one thing left to do: DECORATE!!!"
Patton was an amazing decorator.
After years of theming cookies and cupcakes to each side, baking birthday cakes, and writing messages in crofters jelly for a scavenger hunt, Patton had a handle on how to make things look presentable. Right now, It was a giant 3-layer cake with blue fondant covering, but soon, it would be a masterpiece.
Janus coughed uncomfortably behind Patton. "Um... Since i'm not very good at this stuff... Can I go? I have my own present I wanted to work on."
Patton smiled at him. "Sure! Don't spoil anything to Lolo, ok?"
Deceit nodded and almost left the kitchen before turning back and saying, "Uh, hey, Patpat? Don't stress yourself out too much, 'Kay?"
Patton nodded back. "Of course."
Janus smiled, relieved, and left.
---
---
Patton was SO TIRED.
It was 8 in the morning on Logan's Birthday. Patton had worked all night on that cake and when he had finally finished it, he went right to bed without doing anything in between. He had just woken up, feeling groggy and confused, but he made himself get out of bed because it was Logan's special day.
Logan woke up that day happy. He knew that a birthday was pointless, it was a celebration of one year passing in an entities life, it made no logical sense. But if the other sides wanted to shower him with attention once per fricking year, he did not want to miss this chance.
Patton got out of bed the last out of all the others. Logan had woken up to the other four sides, Janus, Remus, Roman, and Virgil ready for him in the living room with gifts and treats. Logan had thought that Patton would be the first there, energized and grinning, the way he always was. But Patton was nowhere in sight.
When Patton did come out, he put on his best happy face and gave Logan the biggest hug he could muster. Logan smiled a little. "To this day, I swear, your hugs might suffocate someone!"
Patton laughed and grinned at him, just happy he had gotten through yesterday.
First, they made breakfast. Jan made waffles with crofters jelly and eggs, and they all sat around the table reminiscing about the past. They talked about when logan first got his glasses, when he had a stutter, and everything else that Patton could remember. Which was everything, since Patton kept every memory stored in his room.
Next, they had gifts. Roman gave him a lab in the imagination; with chemistry sets, a telescope, and books upon books upon books. It was his own little area in Roman's realm so Logan could enjoy himself every now and then. Virgil gave him a dictionary of every word in the world, in every language. Janus gave him a replica of the Library of Alexandria, with all of the scrolls and books still there. "The original one was burned down with all of it's knowledge," he said, "So here is-" "OH MY GOD I LOVE IT THANK YOU!" Remus gave Logan an animal to dissect. But it wasn't a real animal, it was something Remus had made to give Logan something to do.
Patton promised Logan that his gift would come after dinner. He felt as though his cake paled in comparison to all of the gifts his friends had given. I mean, the Library of Alexandria? Patton sunk lower in his chair.
After gifts, they had lunch in a beautiful field that Roman had created, where the flies ate grass instead of your food, and every bird was adorned with beautiful shimmering colors and tail feathers. They had PB&J sandwiches (with crofters, of course), Goldfish, and apples. They talked for hours about nothing in particular, every now and then asking Roman about the creatures that walked by.
Logan was having a great time, but something seemed off. He looked around at the group and his eyes settled on Patton. The more he looked at him, the more tired he seemed. Logan noticed shadows under Patton's eyes for the first time, and saw that his smile was beginning to look more and more forced. Logan began to worry that one of them had done something wrong. The usual bundle of joy and energy that was Patton looked a lot more docile and tired than before.
Once it started to get dark (because Roman had set a day-night cycle in the imagination just so they would know when to go) they went back to the commons for dinner. Janus cooked some brown sugared ham with peas and rice, while Patton left to get the cake ready.
As Patton walked into the kitchen, he took a look at the cake on the pedestal. Dark fondant with baby blue frosting in swirls, and a little fondant necktie decoration on the second tear to tease about Logan's necktie. The name "Logan" was scribbled in white frosting on top.
He remembered the tall pillars in the Library of Alexandria Jan had made, he remembered the sparkling equipment Roman had conjured. He remembered the giant dictionary, the animal-
Patton looked at the cake and sighed. He honestly didn't know what he was thinking. But this was what he had done. He would just have to work with it, and maybe make up for it with a different gift later.
He picked up the large cake in his arms. It was very heavy, and there was one whole room between the kitchen and the dining room; the living area. Patton just had to bring it over.
He left the kitchen with the cake, and he was doing well with it considering he couldn't see his feet, and then he tripped.
...and then he tripped.
His foot caught against something on the ground and he stumbled, causing the cake to drop out of his arms and onto the floor. It fell sideways, and broke upon impact, and the cake broke up on the floor. Bits and pieces everywhere. Patton had fallen, and he had scraped his elbow, but he didn't care. He didn't care anymore.
He had spent a whole god-forsaken day trying to get this right. He remembered Roman's singing, Virgil's shaky hands, Remus's eating habits, Janus' scales, and he could feel himself sinking into the ground. He just wanted this to be perfect. Logan deserved something perfect.
The cake was broken, and the world was quiet, and Patton wondered for a moment if he had gone deaf. The Mindscape was silent. He felt the tears on his cheeks, but he didn't cry. Patton was the joyful and happy side, so he didn't cry. Water fell from his eyes in waterfalls and rivers across his skin, but he wasn't crying, that's not how he worked. Even when sobs racked his body and made his chest hurt. He wasn't crying.
It was just a god forsaken cake, why the heck was he crying? It was just a cake. It was just a cake.
Shoot, this isn't ABOUT THE CAKE.
Logan and all the other sides sat in the dining room, talking happily about whatever came to mind. Patton had left to get the cake, but he hadn't come back yet. Logan had eaten his dinner and was now staring at the door. He tried to focus on the conversation, but he thought Patton seemed a little late.
"Hey, Nerd, whatcha' looking at?" Roman asked, walking up behind his chair, bending down, and following Logan's line of sight.
Logan didn't turn his gaze from the door. "I feel like Pat should have been back by now. Actually, Roman, maybe you could check on him?"
Behind Logan's back, Roman and Virgil exchanged a glance, and Roman understood immediately.
"Actually, Lo, maybe you should go check on him? It is your cake after all."
Logan stood up from his chair and walked out of the dining room. "I suppose so."
Virgil snickered. "Oh my god, he is so oblivious. I ship them so badly..."
Logan walked out of the dining room and almost choked.
Patton was on the floor, with his hands in his face. Was he crying? Patton didn't cry. He was too happy to cry. He was too fricking perfect to cry. WHO THE HECK MADE PAT CRY?
Then logan saw the floor. The cake, he realized, was broken up and smashed to bits on the ground. The fondant was ripped apart, save for a small black fondant necktie. Patton must have dropped the cake. It looked like it had been big.
Logan didn't hesitate for a second. He kneeled down beside Patton, wrapping his arms around him and quietly letting him sob.
Patton felt someone's arms around him, and they had glasses, he knew, because the glasses were pressed against his temple. But that meant it was Logan. Logan was here, and he can see the cake, and he is probably so mad. Patton wrapped his arms around Logan and cried into his shoulder. He didn't like Logan to be angry. Hugs fixed that. Right?
"Pat? Patton, don't cry, what's wrong?"
Patton could barely find the breath to speak.
"I-I dropped it. The thing... I-I mess-Messed up... It's all g-gone..."
"Shhhh. Shhh, it's not your fault, don't worry. Patton, I love the cake. It's looks like it was beautiful, thank you."
Patton just kept sobbing, his glasses getting foggy. Logan knew the side was emotional, but really, it was just a cake, and Logan wasn't even mad at Patton. In fact, Logan didn't think he was capable of being mad at Patton.
Patton was sad about the cake. Of course, it was horribly destroyed, and he had spent a long, tiresome day making it perfect. And now it was all gone, and Patton had no gift to give.
To Pat, this was bigger than that though. Logan was supposed to have the perfect birthday, but Patton had messed all of that up. He had nothing to give logan. Every day of his life, his goal was to give something, to be helpful, and to care for others. He had messed up today.
"I-i don't know wh-what to do. I just... I just wanted-d to g-give you something. I-It's a-all gone n-now. Th-the d-day is ruined."
Logan frowned. What would someone with a better sense of emotions say? Seeing Patton like this made him so sad, what could he do?
He remembered something Pat had said to him a long time ago, when he was getting used to emotions. 'When someone is feeling down, speak from the heart! The best thing you can do is tell them the truth, and if they don't like it, then they have a right to feel a little sad. But you should still try!'
"Pat, I know you are sad. I understand that you wanted to make this a good day, but it WAS a good day. I enjoyed every moment of today. Sure, the cake is messed up, but it's the thought that counts, and you are already the best gift I could ask for."
Patton looked up in confusion. "Me?"
Logan was usually really bad at emotions, but right now, emotions seemed to be all he could muster. "You are so caring and joyful. And sweet. And kind. And I don't care about the cake, or any gift you give me, the fact that you are so set on making me feel cared for is enough. I'm just happy you're here, ok?"
Logan brushed a tear from Patton's eye and smiled. "I'm just happy you're here."
#sanders sides#logicality#ts logicality#logans sanders#patton sanders#tss#ts patton#ts logan#logan x patton#patton x logan#tw crying#tw baking#tw breakdown
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We are family - part one
This will be a bunch of one shots that I’m going to do, most of them with a twist or an au of my choice. They won’t be connected, and they won’t have any ships in them. Feel free to send me ideas over my ask or in teh comments for more!
Warnings: Blind!Janus; light angst; happy ending.
Tag list: @yuna-dan
----------------------------
Being Blind
Sometimes they just... forgot that he was blind.
Patton would come and wrap him in a hug with no warning, and he would hiss and jump away because it startled him, not because he didn't appreciate the hug.
Sometimes Roman would come over and steal his hat and he would gasp and turn around desperately trying to reach it because he had no idea how his hair looked like and he didn't want anyone to see it messy or puffy.
Virgil, whenever he forgot, would just come and touch his shoulder out of nowhere and make him tense up and almost freeze at how sudden the touch was.
Remus was surely the worst, forgetting almost all the time and asking for him to catch something before throwing whatever it was at his direction with no regards if he would catch it or not.
And Logan, well, he rarely forgot, but when he did he would make his way around quietly but just loud enough for him to feel like someone was around, but whenever he asked, Logan would be too worried with whatever he was doing and simply not answer, giving him a horrible sense of unease.
So yes, Janus was blind, and since he had been recently added to the list of Thomas' sides, they tended to forget that little fact because his eyes looked normal, and thus, they always thought he just saw like they did.
They always apologized, but it usually left him so uneasy that the apologies didn't do much. He just wished they would remember more.
So once again, after Remus threw something at him that he did not see, and it ended up hitting his face and cutting his lip and cheek, Janus ended up at Patton's bathroom, sitting on the toilet as he cleaned his cuts up.
"Jan, please stop squirming, I need to clean this up so it doesn't get infected" Patton said, keeping a hand on Janus' face so he wouldn't get startled when the other hand came closer with the cotton ball. It didn't help much, and every time Patton touched his cheek with the cotton, Janus flinched and took a second to recompose himself. "Janus."
"I'm sorry I can't not flinch when something comes close to my face Patton!" he complained, hissing at the end, flinching when Patton touched his lip with the ball. "Besides it fucking stings!"
"Don't be rude Janus" Patton reprimanded, sighing and pulling away. "Look, it's all done, can I at least put a band aid?"
"Yeah sure whatever" Janus mumbled, closing his eyes and sighing. Or were they already closed? He didn't know he wasn't paying attention. He flinched again when Patton's hand touched his face, but relaxed as he fixed his band aids. "Thanks."
"You're welcome. I'll tell Remus to stop being so careless" he assured, and then pulled away, staying silent for a moment. Janus stood still, and as the silence continued, he tensed up, not having heard him leave but knowing that Patton could leave without him noticing.
"Patton?" he asked, uncertain, and the dad side sighed, taking Janus' hand on his own.
"I'm here."
"Then why did you get all silent?"
"I don't know Jan."
"Were you trying to tease me?"
"Janus, no, of course n-"
"I can't believe you" Janus said, offended, standing up quickly and tapping around for his staff until he grabbed the curved edge and firmly supported it on the ground. "Excuse me, I have better things to do."
He made his way out of the bathroom, feeling offended and frustrated, guiding himself through the mind palace and heading to his own room. Before he could make it, he heard someone yelling 'GET OUT OF THE WAY!' and suddenly a large body hit his, sending him straight to the floor and making him groan loudly.
"Janus oh my god I'm so sorry" Roman said, pulling him up in a sitting position, just as Janus heard Remus' giggle and Roman groaning. "Oh that doesn't count!"
"Tag, you're it."
"You two are fucking unbelievable" Janus growled, pushing Roman away and getting himself up before finding his bearings by the feeling of the rails next to the stairs. Then he walked away towards his room in a rush, feeling the textured handle and opening the door before closing it hard with a loud groan and a frustrated sigh.
Somedays that house was fucking impossible.
"Oh you're back" Janus heard someone say and let out a yell, pointing his staff to the direction of the speaker. "Calm down Janus I'm here to talk."
"How many times have I told you I don't want anyone in my room?!" he yelled, angrily, and Virgil shrugged from his bed. Janus knew because he could listen to the bed squeaking.
"I know but I had to talk to you so I waited here."
"Great. Get out."
"But I have to t-"
"GET OUT!" Janus yelled, waving his staff and making gusts of wind get out of it towards the entire room. He was so frustrated that he didn't want to talk. "OUT VIRGIL!"
"Okay okay!" Virgil said and sunk down, making a soft sound to indicate he had done so, and Janus stopped the wind, let out a groan and walking to his bed, laying down and pressing his face into the pillows as his eyes teared up.
Most days were fine, but some days were really frustrating, to be blind around a place of seeing.
He didn't realize he had fallen asleep due to his frustration until he heard someone knocking on the door. He groaned, pushing himself up and sighing as he sat with his legs crossed, assuring himself he was clothed and with his hat and gloves on before allowing whoever it was to come inside.
"Janus" he heard Logan speaking, his voice always soft and calm. "I heard from the others that you are having a bad day. Do you need anything?"
"I need to see" Janus said, frustrated, and sighed deeply. "No I don't... thank you Logan."
"Well, I asked Patton to make some of your favorites for snacks, if you want to come downstairs. We are going to watch a movie, comments on."
Janus pressed his lips together, knowing that they had thought that up because he was feeling frustrated, and gave Logan a small smile, removing his hat and gloves and reaching out for him.
"Help me find my onesie?" he asked, and soon Logan took his hands, pulling him up to his feet.
"Of course."
After a short time looking for the onesie, Logan found it, and Janus changed into it. Then they went downstairs, with Janus' hat, gloves and staff back at his room, being guided by Logan, whom he trusted the most for it. He smelled sweet popcorn and hot cocoa, and smiled to himself, sitting down on the couch and crossing his legs as Logan sat next to him, someone warm and small on his other side.
"Do you want to cuddle Virgil?" Janus asked, and the small side next to him nodded, nuzzling between his arm and side until Janus wrapped an arm around him and pulled him closer.
Someone handed him the popcorn and he thanked them, just as the film started. As the description began, Janus noticed they had put on Chicago, his favorite musical, and smiled to himself, leaning against Logan and feeling him getting more comfortable and relaxed.
He could have some frustrating days, and sometimes they really forgot that he had his own disabilities, but they were the best, and they tried their hardest.
#my fanfic#sanders sides#blind janus#janus#roman#remus#patton#virgil#logan#janus sanders#roman sanders#remus sanders#patton sanders#virgil sanders#logan sanders#blind#blind character#soft angst#happy ending
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“That’s My Child”
@idontgiveafuckaboutshit
Prompt 31: “That’s my child!“
Pairing: Past Romantic Moceit, Familial Roceit, Familial Dukeceit, Familial Royality, Familial Intruality
Trigger Warnings: Divorce/ Seperation, swearing, panic attacks, kinda unsympathetic patton? It’s messy.. --
Janus was livid. He gripped the steering wheel in frustration as the car waited at the lights, the rain over head battering against the car the same way Janus’ thoughts battered his skull. With the bullshit he was constantly left to deal with at work, this was the last goddamn thing he needed on top of it.
“So,”, he sighed, the annoyance already thick in his tone, “What exactly was your plan?”
His passenger flinched, not making eye contact.
“Roman. I’m waiting.”, Janus’ voice was measured, firm but impatient.
“I told you, I’m Remus-”
“Don’t lie to me. Unlike your father, I can actually tell my sons apart-”
“Padre can tell us apart too!!”, ‘Remus’ retorted defensively. It would have been adorable if Janus wasn’t still fuming.
“Really? Funny that, considering he didn’t notice a goddamn thing until I had to call him and let him know you’d both switched!”
He really hadn’t meant to snap at him. It wasn’t Roman he was angry at, or Remus. No, his anger was reserved for his ex-husband and his negligence. But Janus knew he had to apologise. He waited until the next set of lights, taking a short inhale as he softened his tone.
“I’m sorry, Roman. I’m just… rather upset with your father right now. However, it wasn’t fair of me to-”
“It’s fine.”, Roman mumbled, not meeting Janus’ eyes. “... How’d you know I wasn’t Remus?”
Janus snorted, “You’re asking me how I can tell my twin sons apart? The same baby boys I helped raise together for six years? Come now, Roman, give me a difficult question.”
It was a joke, a rhetorical question at best, but as the car started again, Roman broke the silence so hard, Janus felt the whiplash almost immediately,
“Why did you and Padre break up?”
For a moment, Janus genuinely thought he had just been gut punched. Had Patton really never told Roman what had happened? He could have understood perhaps not telling the lad when he was still young - after all, they were just six years old when he and Patton split - but he was fourteen now, for fuck’s sake!
Being careful not to disrupt traffic, Janus stopped a little further down the street from Patton’s new home, staring out the front window as he gathered himself.
“..... Sometimes,”, Janus began, not making eye contact, “People fall out of love, Roman.”
He didn’t need to look to his side to know Roman’s bright green eyes were staring at him pitifully.
“Your father… your ‘Padre’ and I,”, Janus chuckled sadly at that, “We’d been together for years, thought the honeymoon phase would never end. That we’d never have an argument we couldn’t solve, or work out.”
The reminiscent smile on Janus’ lips quivered into a frown, “We were foolish. We kept sweeping little problems and issues under the carpet, and for a while it seemed fine. Instead it just got worse and worse and put a strain on our relationship. Patton and I thought that having you and your brother would fix things. But all we did was wind up hurting you both in the process. The fighting got worse and worse, and in the end, we decided we just couldn’t stay together.”
He heard Roman sniffle next to him, grasping his heart in an icy grip. Janus gently wrapped an arm around his son, hugging him close, “That doesn’t mean we regret having either of you, before you even think that.”
Roman hugged closer, an awkwardness in it, but with no lack of sincerity, “But… if it wasn’t for us maybe..”
“Patton and I wouldn’t have worked out even without you two. Some days, I have to remind myself that at least one good thing that came of the relationship was you two.”, Janus assured him.
His son gave a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, “You mean Remus, right? He’s your favourite-”
“Nonsense.”, Janus was startled to say the least, “You’re both my sons, I could never pick a favourite between you both.”
The thought nagged at him in the back of his mind, finally letting him voice the question, “..... Does… Does Patton talk like that, Roman?”
“....“, Roman let out a small hum, unsure of whether he should answer, ”... He… sometimes when he’s really stressed.... he says he’s glad you left me with him instead of Remus...”
Janus could hardly stifle the furious scoff that left his mouth before he could cover it. Without another word, he opened the car doors, only asking Roman, “Patton and Remus are the only ones home right now, yes?”
Roman nodded while Janus got out of the car, “Excellent, I’m going to have a word with him. Perhaps several.”
His son got out of the car fearfully asking, “Am I in trouble?”
Janus shook his head, “No, Roman. You’ve done nothing wrong.”
The way the weight lifted from Roman’s shoulders had Janus’ mind reeling with questions; just how often had Roman asked that question and received a far less positive response for his reaction to be so pronounced?! What was Patton playing at, treating Remus like he didn’t matter as much as Roman?! The rainy walk to the front door was spent mostly trying to calm the righteous anger he was feeling by the time they reached the doorbell.
That being said, Janus somehow still felt his lungs shrivel to a sixth of their size as the door opened and there stood his ex-husband, looking just as uneasy. Good, Janus had thought, serves him right. Clearing his throat, he greeted Patton politely, “Patton.”
“Janus.”
Well, that tone was less than inviting, but he’d expected it.
What he did not expect, however, was Remus sat on the stairs just in view of the door looking pretty frantic. His leg was bouncing erratically, his stare was a mile long, and his teeth were devouring his nails like he was a starving man left in the desert. Patton’s voice tore him from his musings, “Roman, come on, you and your brother can stay here for tonight-”
“Excuse me?!”, Janus hissed, “I am not leaving Remus here, look at him!”
Patton didn’t even blink, “It’s fine, they’re better off staying here, Janus-”
Janus gently put his arm out to stop Roman, Patton protesting, “That’s my child!”
“They’re OUR children, Patton!”
All three of them flinched; Janus had never raised his voice so harshly, but the injustice he felt outweighed his ability to stay calm. Remus’ gaze locked on to his father, and Janus choked back the lump in his throat at the relief he saw flash across Remus’ face. So much so, he couldn’t stop himself from uttering,
“What did you do?”, Patton faltered at the question, prompting Janus to clarify, “What did you do to upset Remus?!”
“Nothing!”, Patton protested, “He’s just been like that since you called-!”
“That was half an hour ago, Patton! Are you telling me Remus has been sitting having a panic attack for half an hour!? And you did nothing?!”
Patton threw his hands up defensively, “I didn’t know what to do! I didn’t want to make it worse!”
“And you want them to stay here!? When you didn’t even try to stop our son having a panic attack?!”
Patton muttered harshly under his breath, “Your son, you mean-”. He slapped a hand over his mouth in realisation. His blue eyes - the same eyes Janus once wanted nothing more than to be lost in forever - were wide and glinting with shame.
“I-! I didn’t mean that-!”
“Remus,”, Janus spoke softly despite the fire crackling in his veins, “Can you stand? We’re going home, and Roman’s staying over.”
“Janus, please don’t-!”
“Patton, I’ll drop Roman off tomorrow, and we will talk.”, he assured Patton, with a far more gentle tone than he believed Patton deserved right now, “But can you let me talk to Remus, please?”
Unsure of what else to do, Patton stepped aside to let his ex-husband in. Janus gently knelt next to Remus who clung to his father tightly, muttering over and over, “I’mSorryI’mSorry,ItWasMyIdeaI’mSoSorryDad-”
“It’s alright, breathe in for me, Remus....”
While Janus handled Remus, Patton and Roman stood in silence. Neither knew what to say ; what could they say anyway? Roman finally broke the silence, “We just wanted you and dad to get back together...”
Janus and Patton gave a silence glance as the former guided Remus out the front door.
“It’s alright,”, Patton assured them, trying his best to hold it together, “Your father and I will work things out...”
His ex-husband’s eyes locked on to Janus’ own, pleading with him, “Right, Jan?”
Janus inhaled steadily, trying to force the emotion out of his face. Hearing that petname again after so long.... a small part of his heart still fluttered at it. He gave Patton a shaky nod, “... We’ll see.”
-- Hahaha, I’m a child of divorce :D
Me projecting onto Moceit? Pfff... no.
This prompt was fun but man, my heart TTnTT
May write a follow up to this if I get more prompts, or one that works with the sequel I have in mind. Taglist: @somehow-i-got-an-account @cateye-glasses @fandomsofrandom @patton-cake @does-this-look-logicality-to-you @justalittlecorrupted @irritating-lady-knight @katlikethesword @ali_is_lazy
#moceit#patton sanders#janus sanders#roman sanders#remus sanders#my fics#sanders sides fanfiction#ask meme#angst#angst prompt#just to clarify#my parents divorce wasnt like this#i just joke to hide the pain-#okay i better stop yall are gonna get worried#patton#janus#roman#remus
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Shatter Me
A Patton angst fic by yours truly
Read on AO3
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Summary: All the sides have secrets, but none have one as lethal as the one Patton is keeping. Can he keep it under wraps long enough to resolve it or will the trauma of it all spell his undoing?
Hey guys, so this has been a long time in the making (aka since January). But I finally got this finished and I’m very proud of how it turned out. This was all based on a simple headcanon I had about how Patton experiences emotional pain. I hope you enjoy it, and the next chapter will be out next Monday! Check the notes for definitive links to the next chapter.
Chapter 1: Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones but Words Hurt Far More Deeply
At some point or another, all the sides had kept secrets from each other.
Mostly, it had to do with where they had been in the past or something silly, like the time Roman “accidentally” ate all of Logan’s Crofters. The others still kept some, likely to make a well-placed or dramatic reveal of it, and Patton was no different. He himself occasionally had physical manifestations of emotional pain. However, there was one thing he knew that wasn’t a secret.
Patton knew how they all really felt about him.
Sentimental.
Overbearing.
Naive.
Worthless.
Even if they rarely said any of those descriptors out loud or in his presence, the unspoken words came through loud and clear every time they thought he would mess something up. Which was in almost every video he appeared in. They thought he didn’t notice the dismissive remarks or the eye rolls whenever he had any ideas to share when Thomas had an issue that needed working through. It’s just ol’ Patton spouting off whatever random thoughts and/or dad jokes pop up in his head like always.
For the most part, Patton could handle whatever emotional turmoil they threw at him. He knew that despite what they thought, they still cared about him and valued his opinions. The occasional pain was worth it if they were happy. And they were, especially after Thomas had introduced them to his online community of Fanders (the part that made him the happiest). Even Patton himself had been ecstatic to reach out to so many other kiddos out there. At least, he was until they had gotten in front of the camera.
Yeah, his jokes didn’t land with the others, it wasn’t a big deal. That was no different than telling them in the Mindscape on most days. However, he really wanted to do that four-part harmony when Roman suggested it, even after they immediately shot it down when he came in. But Patton could shake that off, too. He was strong. So, imagine his surprise when he discovered short, thin cracks radiating from over his heart when he was changing into his cat onesie that evening. “Oh,” he said, running his hand delicately over them, “That must’ve gotten to me a little more than I thought.” No matter, though, they always went away within a few days.
Everything went back to relative normal in short order and Patton was back to being a happy pappy. The next few videos came and went without much fanfare. He was even featured by himself to help Thomas with his adultery! There was nothing better than that. The cracks didn’t return until just before they started planning out The Mind vs. The Heart.
That morning, Patton had been making breakfast for everyone as he almost always did. This morning was especially pleasant for him because Thomas had actually listened to Patton yesterday when he suggested he go and pet all the puppies in the pet store on the way home. Having that thought at the forefront made it easy to softly sing to himself as the bacon sizzled. Roman was already eating his as fast as he could fancifully manage.
“Roman, I know my food is good, but please don’t choke up on your swallow through,” Patton said with a smile, taking the last batch of bacon out of the pan and putting it on a plate. Roman just nodded and kept doing exactly what he was doing. “Say, you didn’t happen to see Logan when you came down, did you?” Patton was getting a little worried about Logan. It was early, yes, but the logical side always made his appearance long before now.
“Haben’t sheen ‘im thish morning,” Roman said with a mouthful of pancake.
Patton hummed, set his and Logan’s plates on the table, and grabbed some forks. He sat down at the table, picking at the eggs a little. He would feel better about eating when Logan came. As if on cue, soft squeaks came from the staircase. “Huh, speak of the devil,” Roman mumbled. Patton immediately perked up.
“Good morning, Logan!” Patton shouted. Logan stopped at the bottom of the stairs and covered his ears.
“Too loud, Pat,” Logan grumbled, making his way slowly to the table.
Patton softly replied, “Sorry. I made breakfast.” He couldn’t help but notice the dark circles beneath Logan’s eyes as he approached; they were almost dark enough to rival Anxiety’s. Patton was very much hoping that Roman wouldn’t notice, if only to preserve the peace (and the rest of his good mood, but Patton didn’t want that to be the focus).
“Thank you.” Logan sat and went straight for the coffee, downing half of it in only a few seconds. So far, so good. “Ugh, aren’t I a little old for cat-shaped pancakes, Patton?”
Patton shook his head with a smile. “You’re never too old to have a Patton paw-ncake!” he said cheerily, batting a pawed hand in the air for emphasis.
“Wow, looks like someone’s been to the dark sides this morning. Can we get a bag check on Logan’s eyes?” said Roman, going for another mouthful of bacon.
Logan wasn’t amused. “I’m sorry some of us have to work overtime to make Thomas make the right decisions,” he spat. “Sometimes it’s like I’m the only adult here.” Patton felt that familiar pain ghost across his chest.
“Ex-cuse me, how dare you say such a thing, and when Padre was nice enough to make you breakfast! And anyways, you are NOT the only one who has to pull late nights, Snide and Prejudiced,” Roman countered.
Patton said, “It’s fine, Roman, ple—”
“Really?” Logan adjusted his glasses. “Because it seems to me like you only keep Thomas up at ungodly hours fantasizing about the things you want.”
“Oh, and you don’t?”
“As the most important side, no, I don’t.”
“Oh well ex-cuuuuuuse me, Mr. President—”
From there it devolved into them shouting over each other. Roman slung eggs and syrup everywhere while wildly gesticulating. Logan kept smacking the table trying to make his points. Chocolate milk was going everywhere. They had never been so tense with each other.
“Um, kiddos?” Patton said. Neither of them heard him in the midst of their shouting match. “Kiddos?” he said a little louder, reaching out toward them. “Maybe if we just—”
“THIS DOESN’T CONCERN YOU, PATTON!” both of them yelled. Patton recoiled. Another crack split painfully across his chest. Both of them went back to screaming at each other. He couldn’t stand to see them like this, even if they were hurting him in the process. What else could he do but meet them at their level?
Patton stood abruptly and slammed his hands down on the table. “That’s ENOUGH, both of you!” he scolded. They instantly hushed, flustered and in awe that Patton could even raise his voice. He took a breath and calmly continued, “Roman, I appreciate you defending me like the noble Prince you are, but it’s okay. We know that Logan isn’t the only one that works the graveyard shift, but we shouldn’t make fun of the sides that do when they’re not in their best shape. And Logan, I know you’re tired, but—”
“Yes, from trying to mitigate the effects you had on Thomas yesterday,” Logan interrupted. “We almost adopted one of those puppies when we have neither the resources nor the time to look after one. And who was the one who had to convince him that it was a bad idea? Me!”
Even though Patton wasn’t sorry about that in the slightest, he still apologized. “You did the right thing, Logan. Why don’t you go back to bed for a little while? You’ve earned it,” Patton said. “I’ll even keep your breakfast warm for you.”
Logan nodded and left wordlessly, taking the coffee mug with him back up the stairs. With him gone, Patton looked to Roman. “You owe him an apology, mister,” said Patton.
“What? Me? He was the one being snippier than an Edward Scissorhands wannabe!” Roman cried.
“Well, you didn’t help that, now did you? But he also owes you an apology, too.” That garnered a little “oh” from the Prince. Patton sighed and took Logan’s plate to the oven, turning it on to the lowest setting.
“You know we would’ve worked it out on our own eventually, right?” Roman said. “This is just what we do.”
“I know,” Patton responded. “I think … I should start cleaning up. There’s chocolate milk everywhere.”
Roman nodded. “Okay, Padre. Is there … something I can help with, at least?” He got up and handed his mostly empty plate to Patton.
“Thanks, but I can handle it,” Patton said softly, voice barely above a whisper. He felt Roman’s hand on his shoulder and looked up at the Prince.
“You shouldn’t worry about us so much. We’ll be fine. And, uh, I promise I’ll make it up to the Grinch up there,” said Roman with a small smile.
We don’t need you smothering us.
Great! Now Patton’s thoughts were going to take it upon themselves to put translations after the other’s words! Patton tried to return a smile despite the pain in his chest growing. It must’ve convinced him because Roman, with a final pat on his shoulder, turned and left. As soon as Roman was completely out of sight, Patton rubbed at the cracks to try and soothe their aching. It never worked, but it made him feel a little less like a sad dad. Oh well. At least they’d disappear soon enough.
Or not.
A few days after Losing Motivation came out, Patton had once again busied himself in the kitchen, this time baking chocolate chip cookies while humming along to the Disney showtunes that Roman had playing in the living room. No doubt Thomas would have them stuck in his head by the end of the day. Not that it was a problem in Patton’s mind; the music really helped him ignore the constant throbbing pain that those ugly fractures left on his chest. Better to have Disney showtunes on the brain than a recent ex-boyfriend, right?
The oven timer let out a short ding! at the start of the chorus to Prince Ali. “Oh cookie, where would I be if you weren’t hooooot,” Patton sang over the lyrics. He danced over to the oven while putting on heart-patterned oven mitts. “So full of sweets from eating way more than I ouuuuggghhht. To.” He took the finished cookies out of the oven and twirled around to the music, kicking the door closed and sliding the baking sheet onto the stove in one smooth motion.
Patton made quick work of getting them off the baking sheet and onto a plate. “Cookies are ready!” he shouted. Quick, thundering steps met his cry and in seconds, Roman was in the kitchen juggling three.
“Don’t mind if I do, Pat,” said Roman. Fear never deterred Roman, not even when in the face of third degree mouth burns from oven-fresh cookies. Patton would be lying if he said he wasn’t proud of his son for being so brave (even if another part of him was terrified of Roman getting hurt). “Hanksh,” he said with a mouthful of molten cookie, pretending that it wasn’t actually too hot but still doing the hashafashafa thing to cool it down while he ate.
“You’re welcome, son,” Patton replied. He looked at the cookies and remembered why he was making them in the first place. Ever since Anxiety had made himself known, Patton had been trying to reach out to him. Sure, he was dark and broody and sometimes the others had a little trouble seeing how important his contributions were, but he wasn’t the villain that they made him out to be. Anxiety deserved to feel welcome, and that was something Patton would always advocate for.
He set a few of the cookies on another plate for the rest of the sides (and himself) and poured a glass of milk. “Anxiety’s gonna love this!” He picked the cookies and milk up and danced them out of the kitchen, making sure to pass by Logan on the way. Not that it was hard, he was almost always studying at the dining room table. “Hey Logan, do you wanna eat a cookie?” Patton sung to the tune of Do You Wanna Build a Snowman?
Logan glanced up from his book. “I would prefer not to as I am attempting to set a good example for Thomas by abstaining from sugar,” Logan responded.
“Ah. Well, more for me and Anxiety, then!” said Patton. “If you change your mind, there are some more in the kitchen.”
Logan put the book down and said, “Hold on, are you telling me you’re still intent on making friends with him?”
“Well, yeah, what’s so bad about that?” Patton asked.
“I can’t believe I have to explain this to you again. Anxiety has no place with us, Patton, and it’s time that you stop pandering to him. There’s a very good reason why he lives with … them, and not us.”
The little fissures began slowly spreading. Patton was getting good at keeping it under wraps. And under shirts. “Now Logan, just because he’s a little different from us doesn’t mean that he has bad intentions. Sure, he started out in a bad place, but who’s to say that he can’t grow out of that? Sometimes, people just need a push in the right direction to shine. Bright like a diamond~,” Patton sang the last part, which earned him a groan. “I promise, if I felt fishy about any of this, I wouldn’t be doing it.”
“Why would you feel like a fish? Do fish even feel?” Logan said, genuinely perplexed.
Patton sighed. “Gosh, words can be tough. What I mean is that I don’t feel bad about reaching out to Anxiety, not when he’s been reaching out to us in his own way. I don’t get the feeling that he means us harm.”
“But you have to admit that when it comes to character judgement, you can be too forgiving,” Logan said.
“… Is that a bad thing?” Patton quietly replied, wincing a little as the cracks splintered further.
Logan’s eyes narrowed. “Patton, are you feeling alright?” he asked.
Oh, no.
“Of … course I am!” Patton said. “I’m Morality, why wouldn’t I be feeling?”
Logan grunted and adjusted his glasses. “Let me rephrase that. Patton, moments ago, you clearly indicated you were in pain. Am I interpreting this cue correctly?”
“Um …” Patton stalled. Maybe it was time to tell someone about this; it wasn’t like he could keep hiding it forever. With a sigh, he replied, “Yeah.” Oh no no no no, he couldn’t do this.
Logan stood there silently for a few moments before realizing that no explanation was going to come out of him without prompting. “Would you care to explain what’s causing it? I can perform first aid if necessary,” he said, stepping toward Patton.
Patton backed away and put his hands up. “I’m alright, really. It’s just … a little heartburn is all. You know me, not waiting until the cookies are cool to start munchin’! It should go away soon,” he replied. He couldn’t describe how badly he wanted to get out from under Logan’s scrutiny.
“If that’s all, then, here,” Logan conjured some Tums, “please take two of these.” He offered the bottle to Patton, who took it with a smile.
“Thank you, Logan, where would we be without you?” said Patton. He took some out of the bottle and made a show of chewing them up. Even if he didn’t really need them, he wanted to be sure that Logan felt listened to.
“What is that on your neck?” Logan asked, gesturing on himself where he thought he saw something.
“Hmm?” Patton felt around in that general area, squeaking softly when he felt a small but deep fracture across his skin. How did he not notice that before? Quick, Patton, think of something! “It’s uh … it’s chocolate!”
Logan’s eyes narrowed again. “Chocolate?”
Patton smiled. “Yeeeaahhhh, I must’ve gotten chocolate on myself when I was making these cookies. Silly me,” he lied, waving a dismissive hand. Well, it wasn’t totally a lie; he did still have some chocolate on his hands.
That seemed to sate the logical side. “Very well then, be sure to wash that off. And I know that no matter what I say, you’re still going to take your cookies to Anxiety. Just, please be careful around him, no matter how he makes you feel. We do still need you to help keep Thomas functioning normally,” said Logan.
“Thank you, Logan, I appreciate that. I promise I’ll be careful,” Patton said with a smile. Logan gave him a curt nod and went back to his studies. Some of the pain subsided with that last comment, which Patton was very grateful for. If it had been anywhere near what it was before, he couldn’t have done what he had set out to do without cuing Anxiety on to his problems. With as much of a smile as he could muster, Patton picked up the cookies and milk and headed down to Anxiety’s room. Thankfully, Logan didn’t notice him adjusting his cardigan along the way.
Patton always thought it was odd that the doorway to the darker side of Thomas’s mind would be inside the broom closet at the end of the hall. In another way, it made a lot of sense when he thought about it a little harder. Anything he wanted hidden would be stowed in here for safe keeping until he was ready to confront it. Plus, it made an excellent visual pun that made Patton giggle every once in a while. He opened the door, carefully balancing the plate on his arm.
“Let’s see, last time I made two rights, a left at the weird eyeball painting that stares at you, another right, then a left, and it’s the last door on the left,” Patton mumbled to himself as he walked through the dark side’s labyrinthine corridors. “Please let there be no spiders this time.”
In between the first two rights, a yellow-gloved hand slithered its way around the edge of the corner in front of Patton, making him stop dead in his tracks. No no no, not now! “Well well well, if it isn’t Morality,” Deceit stepped out in front of Patton, “have you finally decided to join us AND bring us cookies? I know we would all be devastated if you did.” His ever-present smirk seemed even more delighted than normal.
“Um, no. I’m just bringing Anxiety some cookies like I’ve been doing for a while now. You know that,” Patton replied. This definitely wasn’t making him uneasy.
“Indeed I do, and I also know something else.” Deceit strode forward until he was uncomfortably close. “You’ve been hiding something I find to be … most exquisite. If you keep that up, you’re liable to put me out of a job. Tell me, how long do you think you can play my game but keep me away from the field? Or even better,” he slowly circled Patton, eyes ever trained on him, “how long do you think you can keep their prying eyes away from your little secret?” He gently touched the center of Patton’s chest, which made him hiss and nearly drop the cookies and milk.
Patton had to take a moment to catch his breath. “I refuse to … make this their problem,” he gasped. He could’ve sworn he saw a few glowing drops of his essence through his shirt where Deceit’s finger had been.
“Oh, of course you don’t. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard that one. They’re obviously trying to hurt you by saying and doing all of these little things and telling them this would only make them want to do it more,” Deceit said, coming to stop in front of Patton.
“Look, I know you’re just trying to look out for me in your … own way and I appreciate it, but please, Dee … I can’t tell them this. It would break them even more than it’s breaking me— and I won’t have it.”
Deceit’s smile faded. “You don’t want to listen to reason? Fine. But I leave you with this,” he shook a finger and slowly began sinking out, “what would hurt them more: the others finding out about this now or the others finding out about this when you’re in itty. Bitty. Pieces?” His last words echoed through the empty halls, chilling Patton to his core.
He knew Deceit was right, in his own roundabout way. That was one of his greatest assets: he was a brilliant analyst despite his airs, one that could keenly rival Logan’s perceptive inclinations. It was also what Patton dreaded about him. He couldn’t hide anything from Deceit, not that there was much he could do to hide all the cracks given how many there were.
“No!” Patton said to himself. This wasn’t the time for getting absorbed in thoughts! This was supposed to be bonding-with-his-precious-anxious-baby time, gosh darn it, and he was not going to waste any more time thinking about all the things that were hurting him! Putting on his best determined dad face, Patton quickly marched toward Anxiety’s room.
Before he could get too far, though, he saw Anxiety’s familiar, brooding figure lurking through the halls. He perked up almost imperceptibly when he saw Patton coming. “Oh, there you are. Not like I was worried about you being late or anything,” he said, fiddling with his hoodie strings.
Patton just smiled, relieved that Anxiety hadn’t noticed the little, slightly glowing stains on the front of his shirt. “Of course not. Shall we?” he replied. Anxiety nodded.
The two shared a nice, albeit short, time in Anxiety’s room talking through everything they could. Anxiety’s particular favorite seemed to be picking through Disney movies (or really any movie) to find all of the dark origins or morbid underlying themes they held. While Patton liked being able to spend time with Anxiety, the combination of being in his room for longer than around half an hour and the negative talk were lying heavily on his chest. Still, he never let it show that those cracks were slowly spider-webbing across his skin.
By the end of the day, every step was a Herculean task for Patton. He barely made it back to his room without stumbling. Still, there was one last thing to be done: survey the damage he had accrued. He trudged into the bathroom and grasped the sink with shaking arms, head hanging heavily. “Alright, head up on three, Patton. One, two, three,” he said, letting go of the sink and looking up in the mirror. Despite his weathered appearance, not much could be seen with his shirt still on aside from two small fractures that forked up either side of his neck. The few that had made it past his sleeves were so thin that he didn’t even notice them at first. Patton sighed. He really didn’t want to look at the epicenter of the damage. “Right after this, you can go to bed,” he bartered with his reflection. He gently lifted the hem of his shirt up and nearly fainted from what he saw.
The cracks at the center of Patton’s chest had turned more into chasms where his skin had chipped away like broken porcelain. His essence shone through, now a raging blue storm that threatened to break through the invisible barrier where his skin should be. From there, the light bled through into the smaller fissures that spanned his entire torso, front and back. He knew it was bad, but it had never been to this extent. He gently touched the edge of the center break and accidentally dipped his finger into the blue fluid. The tears he had repressed welled up in his eyes, spurred on by a jolt of raw emotion. Patton quickly wiped the fluid off onto his pants. The tears no longer had any driving force behind them.
“Oh Patton, you’ve got to remember not to do that,” he once again told his reflection. He had forgotten how much emotional sway his essence had when he touched it. Patton knew he couldn’t keep the happy act up like this. So, what else could he do but make himself as scarce as possible until it healed at least a little bit?
And that’s exactly what he did.
#atlas writes#patton angst#sanders sides angst#patton sanders#long post#this first chapter is a little more than 4000 words#which honestly that's just a tiny chunk in comparison to what i have written#shatter me#shatter me story
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A h/etalia Umbrella academy au but it isn’t actually one, it’s just inspired by UA kinda...idk
//Uh keep in mind that this is going straight from the drafts onto your dash and uhhh there will for sure be spelling errors so don’t roast me lmao
Roman ‘Roma’ Vargas: An eccentric billionaire who founded the Academy of the World’s Finest (or the AWF for short). He gets bored very quickly and went from buying rockets to building hotels to managing casinos to buying children. A very crazy sequence of events! (Roma has many secrets but I don’t feel like fleshing it’s out rn this is just the bare bones of this just for fun!! And if you’ve seen both seasons of UA you probably already knows what you need to know). One faithful day, October 1st 1989, multiple beautiful babies were born from women who were not pregnant the day they were born. This phenomenon made itself known to Roma and he was off to find as many of these children that he could! He sent his staff all over the world to buy these children. He successfully purchased 9.
Number 1, purchased for $10,000 in Las Vegas: Number 1 was picked to be number 1 because Roma thought he was such a strong looking baby. Alfred was actually purchased fifth out of his siblings but no one knows that except Roma himself. Alfred, from a young age, was able to cause an obscene amount of damage. When he held Roma’s hand while learning to walk, he crushed the bones in his hand. When he kicked a soccer ball down the hallway, it went through the wall like a meteor. When he knocked on Arthurs door to bother him, the door snapped in half (and Art screamed bloody murder). He has an insane amount of strength without even trying! It was very hard for him to get a handle on it because he’s so spontaneous and isn’t really one to think before acting but once he and hs siblings started training for hero work?? That was his motivation to be better, to control his power to use it against bad guys!!! He’s the golden boy of the family, he never disobeys Roma and will never, even now, say anything bad about him. ‘Hey! He’s my dad, he saved me from whatever shithole life I was destined to have in Nevada. I couldn’t be more thankful for my life! And mom, if you’re watching this...Thanks. I don’t know who you are but...Thank you’
Number 2, purchased for $25,000 in Le Mans: Number 2’s power presented itself only after he learned to talk. Francis’s power of persuasion is both a blessing and a curse for him. He’s struggled greatly with being ‘number 2’, he wants the same validation and attention as ‘number 1’ gets. He doesn’t think it’s fair. He often used his power for bad things arond the house like ‘J'ai entendu une rumeur that you broke every finger on your right hand!’ that was a very gruesome morning for Alfred and the scolding that Francis got scarred him for life as he was insulted and cursed out in front of his family. Even after that, he still kept up his happy exterior. He was also usually the face of the AWF, appearing on magazine covers which he may or may not have influenced the writers just a bit. His power is strong but he does not use it on Roma because he’s terrified of what would happen if he did!! As he’s gotten older, he’s falls off the wagon a little but he’s trying to make a solid recovery. Also, when he was 7 he found out he was born in France! He then forced himself to become totally fluent in French and taught himself to have a French accent too. Whoopie....
Number 3, purchased for $1000 in Sicily: Number 3 is a dangerous child, he was from day one. When he was born, he was presenting a 116 degree fever yet he was acting totally normal. His mother was convinced he was the devil and was more than happy to sell him off to Roma. Roma felt a deep connection to Lovi from the start....Lovi looked like him. He looked like he could be his biological son. Lovi got special treatment from Roma often but he still felt overshadowed by his siblings. I mean, a majority of his siblings are pretty blondes. He felt left out often. But he would channel that anger into training and cooking! He has a trick that he likes to do, cracking an egg into his palm and cooking it. That one impresses Alfred every time! Not that he’s hard to impress. Lovi would often push himself too far in his quest to be the best and snap at his siblings, leaving him even more alienated from them. He spent a lot of time around Roma and Feli, mostly Roma. He got a lot of one-on-one training with him and a lot of praise too. All he ever wanted to do was be perfect for his father. He set bad guys on fire, did interviews on live tv, set fire to a warehouse full of gang members, all kinds of stuff that he never would have done on his own. Stuff that he didn’t want to do. All so he could impress Roma
Number 4, purchased for $700 outside of Berlin: Number 4 has always been hyper and loud! But his powers suddenly developed over night, which was terrifying for him. Gilbert awoke in the middle of the night to pee one night and was met with a ghost in the bathtub. Naturally, Roma encouraged him to speak with ghosts and would make him go to cemeteries to talk to the dead. Ghosts scared him so he’d secretly take Benadryl to knock himself out but as he got older, he realized that he couldn’t be scared anymore cause these ghosts needed a friend :( so he used these ghosts to fight in missions and in return, he’d play games with them and chat with them, just being friend with the ones who had a hard time crossing over :’) he likes using his powers for good but feels like he’s taking advantage of his ghost friends sometimes which took the fun out of crime fighting
Number 5, given to Roma for free outside of Kyoto: Number 5 got a late start compared to his siblings. His powers took awhile longer to manifest and he had trouble learning to read. But once he caught up, he proved himself to be the smartest out of all of them. Smarter than some of them combined, even. Kiku still often indulged in his siblings antics but at the same time, he felt he was somewhat superior to them. He learned to poof himself from one side of the room to the other, starting off small. He figured out he could time travel one night when Francis and Gil were hammered and knocked a vase over. Kiku felt every muscle in his body tense, then a sensation of falling, then he was suddenly 10 seconds in the past!! Wow!! He caught the vase before it could hit the ground and kicked Fran so he fell down, leaving him to sleep on the foyer floor while Gil just stood there like ‘wtf...?’. When Roma started berating him for ‘getting too cocky’, Kiku threw a bit of a hissy fit and decided to jump to the future!! He did and landed himself in the aftermath of the 2019 apocalypse, unable to get back home cause he wore himself out and had no idea what he had even done to get himself there in the first place lmao sucker.
Number 6, purchased for $10,000 in York: Number 6 was an extremely fussy baby. All he did was cry and cry and cry, it was very frustrating for Roma since the other babies were somewhat easier to handle. Arthur was indeed a handful. When he was hungry, baby food tins and spoons would float out of the pantry and over to his highchair. When he wanted to torment his siblings, he’d take their things and throw them across the room with his mind. When a sinking was annoying him, he’d simply lift them up and shove them out of his room. Easy. He is probably the smartest or second smartest of his siblings. He isn’t the most athletic but he spent lots of time studying, so much so that Roma had to constantly buy new books for Art to read to keep him mentally stimulated. He was often a voice of reason though no one listened to him. When fighting he was very useful!! He never needed to get close to the bad guys, he could throw them around without moving a muscle! The only downside is that it wore him out after awhile...Ugh. He avoided the media but did do interviews with his mask on, encouraging kids his age to stay in school! By the time Art was 13, he was taking college level tests and reading college level material so...he’s one smart cookie
Number 7, given to Roma for free in undisclosed location in Russia: Number 7 is too powerful for her own good. At a young age, Francis was told to convince her that she had no powers. This was done in secret, only Roma, the house staff, Francis and Kiku knew it happened. Everyone else was oblivious and left out of the loop. Vanya has the ability to shake the earth, to cause obscene amounts of damage in the blink of an eye. Her power was something that Roma could have never prepared himself for. So from that day on, Vanya was a ‘normal girl’. She watched from the sidelines as her siblings got to train and fight. She sat with Feli to paint or sew or just talk. She went through every day feeling worthless, like she wasn’t meant to be a part of this family. She channeled her feelings into art, painting canvasses worth of rainy cities or melting people. She made a series of paintings depicting her siblings’ abilities through chunky brushstrokes and vibrant colors. Each painting sold for over one million dollars. She thought her art career would impress her father. It didn’t.
Number 8, purchased for $15,000 and 10 cows outside of Oslo: Number 8 was always a quiet boy, he kept to himself and Roma thought he may be powerless as well for almost 5 years until lightning struck the house...on a bright sunny day...not a cloud in the sky. Turns out Lukas and Kiku were arguing. They were only 5 so they were just shrieking and yelling nonsense then BAM!!!! Lighting. Roma was so terrified but Lukas was giggling and shooting soarks out of his hands, his hair sticking up like crazy. He was always quiet and reserved, he spent a lot of time in the library or on the roof just looking out over the city. He didn’t like sneaking out of the house like his brothers and sisters did but he went ‘to keep an eye on them’...he always had fun though. He stayed away from the media and wore a mask that his most of his face so he wouldn’t be recognized. Sadly, in a tough fight in a hostage situation, Lukas was shot and killed when he was 15, right when he was starting to consider writing a book about hero work and how as he aged, he was becoming more confident in himself due to helping others. It was a tragic loss for his siblings
Number 9, purchased for $800 and a new car in La Coruna: Number 9 was successful from the start, surpassing her siblings in height very very fast. Her power just happens to be her speed. Carmen, as a baby, was a lot to handle since she crawled around the house at 40 miles an hour. Even her sleep schedule was quick, she’d take a 20 minute speed nap and have enough energy to run around for hours after. When she was introduced to the idea of being a hero, she agreed so fast that she nearly bit her tongue off. She always got her chores done quick, helped around the house, all of that since a task that would take 3 hours only took a few minutes for her. She was a great female role model and did many interviews for teen magazines to encourage girls to be their best, that has always been her message. She even wrote ‘GRLPWR’ on her cheeks in black paint before heading off to fight crime in case she had her picture taken. Roma wasn’t a huge fan of that but she didn’t care too much :) she has always stuck up for her sisters!! And she has always been close to Fran and Gil but as they got older, their interests began to differ so she found herself hanging with Vanya and Arthur more
Feliciano Vargas: Roma Vargas’s only biological son. He does not have powers and often felt left out when he was left behind while his siblings went on missions. He’s 2 years younger than the rest of them and is often referred to as ‘stupid little brother’ by Lovino which hurt his feelings. When he was a baby, they were like 2 and a half so they didn’t see him as ‘aww look my baby brother!’ They just found him annoying cause he cried a lot. Like his siblings, he never met his mom but he does feel good knowing that he will always have his dad. When he and the academy kids fight, he will often rub it in their faces that at least Roma is his biological dad. That really rubs salt in the wounds, huh? Feli has always gotten on well with Vanya, they got left behind all the time so they got to paint and play music together :) they made eachother very happy
Gilbert and Lukas: Gil didn’t really like Lukas much when they were younger cause Lukas was just...quiet and reserved. Gil is the exact opposite. But now that Lukas is dead, Gil pities him and hangs out with him. They trained a lot together but Gil got embarassed when they trained cause if someone were to walk in, they’d just see Gil shouting and punching at nothing so...They trained in the dark at 3am on the roof where they wouldnt be interrupted. Now that Gil is older, he can channel Lukas almostperfectly. Lukas has an almost totally physical form when Gil uses his powers, allowing Lukas to channel lightning the way he was able to when he was alive. Lukas doesn’t like doing that too often cause it’s a bit cruel, getting to feel alive when you’re not :/
Kuma: Kuma was a normal polar bear that was experimented on in a lab that Roma funded. The scientists combined his DNA with monkey and human DNA and after much trial and error, they were able to get his brain to process English. So he wears a collar that allows him to talk. He scolded the kids for running around in the house but then five minutes later he’d let them ride his back while HE ran around the halls :) he was like a fun uncle to them. He wore a bow tie :)
Wan yu: Roma fell in love with a woman from China when he was younger. She was studying culinary arts in Italy and he absolutely fell head over heels for her. But things didn’t work out. So once the tech came around, he had an advanced robot version of his first love created for the sole purpose of loving him and his children. She was programmed to be a great role model, compassionate, patient and...A good cook. The kids all called her mom or ma and even though she never technically had favorites, she was always fond of little Kiku. She was the one who taught him to read when he had trouble doing so and she’s stay up late with him in secret to help him catch up in other languages. The kids all had to learn Italian, English, Spanish, Greek and Russian bedore they were even 8 years old. Since Kiku took a bit longer to grasp that kind of stuff, she would sneak him down to the library to have one-on-one lessons with him. :) she was also very caring when it came to Alfred, she saw how hard he pushed himself sometimes and it hurt her to watch. She made cookies for him on especially rough days
Lukas’s death: Lukas’s death hit Arthur, Vanya and Gilbert especially hard. Arthur and Lukas bonded over similar interests, Lukas and Vanya played chess all the time and gossiped and Gilbert always thought that Lukas was the coolest sibling he had. His death was used as motivation for everyone else to continue training. Gilbert ‘summoned’ Lukas three days after his death and Lukas has followed him around ever sicne. Lukas wasn’t avtually summoned, he’d been secretly roaming the house for days and decided to just let Gil think he summoned him. Roma was depressed about his son’s death for a week or so but he never really allowed himself to feel negative emotions for too long so he was over it a bit...too quickly.
#long post#AWF au :)#aph#hetalia#ask away!#headcanons#hetalia headcanons#asks#aph france#aph england#aph america#aph china#aph rome#aph japan#aph prussia#aph kumajirou#aph spain#aph Nyo spain#aph nyo russia#nyo!russia#aph russia#aph norway#aph Italy#aph romano#I wasn’t gonna post this but 2020 is the year where not caring is the theme so here
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Chapter 9: Forever Childhood
(from the My Girl Trilogy: Stay Mine)
…in which childhood is not forever, but it doesn’t have to end.
Word count: 8k
AU: actor!Harry, childhood best friends, older!Harry, younger!Y/N, (4-year age gap).
Wattpad link (Thea as Y/N)
What to expect from this chapter: Many flashback scenes and LOTS LOTS LOTS of fluff.
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“Knock knock.”
“Dad, you don’t have to say knock knock while actually knocking,” Y/N said without taking her eyes off the laptop screen. The door closed behind her as her dad walked in, squeezed her shoulders and kissed the top of her head twice.
“Why aren’t you with your friends in the backyard?”
“The treehouse’s gone; there’s nothing to do in the backyard,” she said, typing away. “And I’m sorry beforehand if Alice and Niall do something to Marcy’s flowers. Niall probably has never seen a garden as small as ours, and Alice is unpredictably crazy.”
“They’d make a good couple."
“Don’t tell Alice. She’d lose her mind,” Y/N said.
Feeling her dad peering at the screen, she tilted her head back to see his face. “What do you think?”
He leaned forward with both hands on the back of her chair, shaking his head. “A masterpiece. Shakespeare wished he’d come up with this.”
She snorted, leering at him. “From now on, all yours and Harry’s comments about my work are invalid.”
“We’re your biggest fans, Y/N.”
“That’s the problem. Love cancels honesty in this case.”
“Oh, God.”
Her dad spun her swivel chair around so they were face to face as he sat on the edge of her bed, his legs spread wide, elbows resting on his knees. He clasped his hands together in front and cocked his head. “Take a short break and talk to me, will you?”
She drummed her fingers on the armrests. “About my book?”
“Yeah, your book. And, well...boys.”
“Daaaad." She tossed her head back, groaning into her palms like an embarrassed teenager. “If this is about Blake and Harry–”
“Blake Roman,” her dad hissed as if the name was toxic. “I can’t believe you’re hanging out with him again. Is he still riding that stupid motorcycle from high school?”
“No. And Harry also owned a motorcycle, Dad.” He’d also crashed it and ended up in the hospital. There was no way she’d tell her dad about it.
“Well, I’m already biased, so Harry is good no matter what he does," her dad said. "I’m team Harry, by the way. That’s what you kids say, right? Team Edward. Team Jacob.”
Y/N dropped her face into her palms, shaking her head in defeat.
Her dad cleared his throat. “You and Harry are endgame, Y/N.”
“Oh my God, Dad!” She couldn’t help laughing as she looked up, smoothed her hair down and held it at her neck. “Marcy made you watch Riverdale again, didn’t she?”
“I kind of like it now,” he said thoughtfully. “It’s so dramatic. Everyone’s in love with everyone.”
“Yeah. I’m pretty sure the show writers are men your age.”
“That makes a lot more sense.”
“Anyway,” she giggled lightly. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m team Harry, too; I can’t believe you made me say that.” She rolled her eyes, shaking her head. “Blake and I were a long time ago. I love Harry more than I can put into words.” She leaned back into her chair and puffed out her cheeks. “Though sometimes I feel like I can never be good enough. He’s just this wonderful person who does great things, and I’m just...I’m still trying to figure my life out.”
“And what’s wrong with that?”
She bit a nail. “People don’t think we’re compatible.”
“Do Marcy and I seem compatible to you?”
“You and Marcy are different.”
“How?”
“I don’t know. You just are.”
No couple was like her and Harry, which could be a good thing sometimes. Just not recently. Their conversation last night had made her feel more assured, but there was still this unsettling feeling she couldn’t seem to shake off. She’d told herself it only mattered what Harry thought of her; who cared about the others? As it turned out, she cared. More than she wanted to.
“Your feelings are normal, darling,” her dad said, rubbing the stubble on his chin. “To love is to set down your arrogance and allow yourself to be vulnerable. It proves that your love is worth it. Harry is worth it. And when something or someone is worth it, you have to hold onto them.”
“That’s beautiful, Dad," Y/N said, her eyebrows high. "Mind if I steal the quote for my book?”
“It’s not mine. It was your mother’s,” her dad answered.
A brief silence arose. The last time they’d talked about her mother had been a year ago. It wasn’t because they’d get awkward now that her dad had moved on; but because either one or both of them would get sad. She could deal with awkward. Sadness, however...
“I came to see her last night,” she said, pinching her lower lip.
“I know.”
“Harry told you?” When her dad nodded, a corner of her mouth turned up. “Are you like BFFs with my boyfriend now?”
Her dad let out a short breathy laugh as he rolled his shoulders. “I think I deserved to know when my adult daughter trespassed upon a cemetery.”
“I won’t do that again. Promise,” she said to her hands while picking at her nails. “I just...wanted to feel like a teenager again. Break the rules. Do crazy things without caring about the consequences. It’s dumb, I know. But being an adult has been hard lately.”
“Tell me about it,” he agreed with a growl, and they shared a laugh.
As silence sank in, her eyes darted to his face, considering his aging features. It wasn’t until today that she realised how much older he looked than he had when she moved to London; the wrinkles on his forehead and temples stood out much more; his eyes became wearier, his lips thinner. Those three years were evident on his kind face. It made her sad that he was growing old, and she hadn’t always been the best daughter to him since her mother had passed away.
She was getting older, too.
She pushed herself up, padded over to the bed, and sat down by his side. He folded her into his arms and pressed a kiss to her temple.
“It feels good to be home,” she whispered, cheek against his chest. “I wish I was still a little girl.”
“You are,” he said, stroking her hair. “You’re my little girl. Always.”
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“Dad, where’s Mum?”
“She’s with Anne in the backyard.”
“Oh,” Y/N mumbled, frozen at the kitchen door like a Sim stuck in a glitch. It felt weird that her family still hung out with Harry’s now that she and Harry were no longer friends.
She shook her head to put aside the thoughts. “Well, I’m going out now.”
“With Celine and Amala?”
Her dad’s question stopped her before she turned. She leaned against the doorframe, one hand fumbling with the doorknob. “Why does it matter who I hang out with?”
“It matters if it’s that biker boy. What’s his name again?”
“Blake.”
“Yes.” Her dad crossed his arms, his eyes squinted. “The other parents aren’t very fond of him. I’ve heard stories about what he’s done to those girls.”
Blake had a bad reputation with the parents, mainly because he’d broken their daughters’ hearts.
“Well, he hasn’t done anything to me.”
“Yet,” her dad stated, his brows pinched together.
Y/N lifted her shoulder in a half-shrug. “Maybe I’ll break his heart this time.”
“Y/N…”
“Bye!”
She zipped out of the kitchen just in time Blake’s motorcycle roared in the drive. He opened the visor, smiled at her with his eyes, and she mounted his vehicle and put on her helmet.
“As slow as you can,” she said, looking back at the house.
Her dad was watching from the living room window as the motorcycle rumbled to life and drove away.
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Y/N was helping Marcy in the kitchen when she looked out of the window and saw Blake’s car in front of their house. The doorbell rang. She cursed under her breath and told Marcy she’d be right back. As she scuttled out of the kitchen, her dad was heading to the front door. She slipped right past him and reached for the handle first.
"Hi, Y/N," Blake said as he greeted Y/N and her dad with a respectful smile. “Good morning, Mr Y/L/N.”
“It’s ‘sir’ to you.”
“Yes, sir.”
Y/N slapped her forehead as her dad gave Blake the firmest handshake she’d ever seen. If Blake had hands like Niall, he’d be in the hospital with broken fingers.
“What gave me the pleasure to finally see you on our doorsteps today?”
“Dad.”
Her dad ignored her when she nudged him with an elbow. “Funny how you’d dated my daughter for two years, and we’ve never had a proper conversation.”
“Forgive me, sir. I was a stupid teenager back then,” Blake said as he rubbed the back of his neck. It was only then that Y/N saw him holding a brown paper box in his left arm.
“Well, let’s put the past in the past,” her dad said, squeezing her shoulder as she shot him a glare.
Blake pointed to his car. “I’m going back to London now. I stopped by to see if Y/N needed a ride.”
Her dad pushed out his lower lip as he turned to her. “You’re going with Harry tonight, right?”
“Yes. But thank you for driving me home yesterday,” she said to Blake. “How’s your grandma?”
“Oh, she’s fine. Turned out she lied about being sick so I’d come home to see her,” he breathed out a laugh and cleared his throat as he held out the box. “She made cupcakes and asked me to bring some to you.”
Before Y/N could answer, her dad took the box and went back inside. She decided to ignore him.
“I can’t believe she remembers me,” she told Blake.
“You were the only girl I’ve brought to see her,” he said.
Not knowing how to reply, she shuffled from one foot to the other, hands clasped behind her back. Blake took it as a sign to end the conversation as he told her he’d see her in London, then returned to his car.
She waited until he started the engine to close the door and came back to the kitchen. Marcy was reorganising their fridge, while Y/N’s dad counted the cupcakes in the box.
“...ten, eleven, twelve.”
He picked one and looked at her. When she waved her hand for permission, he took a bite and released a satisfied hum. She knew Grandma Roman's cupcakes were good; she'd eaten them plenty of times before.
“Good morning!” Harry said like a game show host as he entered from their backdoor and grabbed her from behind. “Girlfriend.” He kissed her cheek before turning to her dad and Marcy. “Bradford. Marcy.”
“There’s my superstar!” Marcy said with a quick glance over her shoulder.
“Want one?” Y/N’s dad held the box toward Harry, who brightened like a kid in a candy store as he leaned forward to grab a cupcake.
“Blake just brought them here,” Y/N told him.
He froze for a second, then took a large bite and started chewing extravagantly. “I’ll eat all of these so you won’t get poisoned by another man's love," he said with his mouth full.
She looped an arm around his head from below and drew his face in so she could whisper in his ear, “Don’t be jealous. I swallow your love all the time.”
His hand instantly flew to her mouth to muffle her giggles when her dad stared at them questioningly. “What is it?”
“Y/N said a bad word," Harry said, his dimple growing.
Her dad jabbed at her with his finger, and she crossed her arms, scowling at Harry. “Teacher’s pet."
Once he finished the cupcake, she dragged him to the living room. Their mouths attached right as they were alone. She snogged him hungrily, back against the wall, fingers in his hair. His massive hands went under her velvet tennis skirt and caressed her arse, while his mouth trailed down her neck, sucking the sensitive spot below her ear. She loved when he paid attention to that spot; it made her toes tingle.
She could hear her dad talking to Marcy about building a birdhouse in their backyard. They’d spend at least an hour on any topic related to the garden, so Harry and Y/N could have sex right on the sofa in the middle of the living room without getting caught. She just didn’t want to risk it, even though that idea was pervertishly exciting.
“My room. Come on.”
“Can’t,” he groaned and held her back by the hips. Her fake shocked expression got him laughing as he kissed between her brows, the tip of her nose, her upper lip. “I miss you terribly, but I still need to talk to my mum.”
“You haven’t?”
“She’d gone out when I woke up,” he sighed and rubbed her pout with his thumb. “I’ll come back to play with you later. Promise.”
She stuck out her tongue, eyes rolled upward. As he kissed her neck and placed his hands on her bum, the sound of someone clearing their throat broke them apart. They saw Alice and Niall watching them judgingly from the kitchen door.
“I ate some of your Blake cupcakes. Hope you don’t mind,” Niall said with an apologetic grin.
“Told ya he was worse,” Y/N said to Harry, who arched his lips in a smirk and kissed her temple before he left. Niall raised his palm, expecting a high-five as Harry strutted by, but Harry high-fived Niall’s forehead instead and disappeared through the front door.
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Harry’s mum was crying.
He didn’t know what had happened as he’d just woken up and gone to the kitchen. Gemma had spent the night at her best friend’s place, so there were just him and his mum.
His mum wiped her tears with the sleeve of her jumper and poured black coffee into the ‘No. 1 MUM’ mug – a gift from Gemma on Mother’s Day. Harry stood like a ghost in the doorway, picking at his nails while holding his breath. Like observing a squirrel from a distance, if he made a sound or came too close, it would run away and find a place to hide. His mum wouldn’t run and hide, but she'd fake a smile and act like nothing was wrong. There was nothing worse than wanting to cry but couldn’t.
“Why are you standing there, dork?”
Gemma’s voice made him jump, and his mum shot her head up, looking straight at him like a deer in headlights. Gemma stopped beside him, her mouth formed a silent ‘o’ as she finally caught on to what was happening.
Gemma wasn’t like him. She was straightforward.
“Mum, are you crying?”
Their mum sighed. She gracefully slid into a chair, lifted the mug to her chapped lips with both hands, and blew into her coffee. Harry and Gemma exchanged worrying looks as they walked in. Harry sat on their mum’s left, Gemma on her right. Their mum put down her coffee without having taken a sip and wrapped each arm around each of them.
“I’m sorry you had to see that,” she said, her voice too brittle, like it would break if she spoke any louder.
“Was it something Gemma did?” Harry asked, and Gemma swatted him on the arm.
“It’s ‘He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named’,” she said.
Harry’s heart jumped a little, then he saw the distress on his mum's and Gemma’s face, and his mouth clamped shut before he blurted out something stupid.
Gemma hated their dad. When she was in a good mood, she called him Winton. The other times, she’d refer to him as ‘that man’, ‘You-Know-Who’, or ‘He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named’; she was obsessed with Harry Potter.
Harry felt wrong to still call their dad Dad inside his head. In front of Gemma and their mum, he wouldn’t mention Dad at all. The last time he’d done it, his mum had cried. She didn’t hate his dad; she loved him, which was much worse.
“You two don’t have to worry about me,” she said, looking out of the window by the sink. The sky was grey and turning dark. “This kind of weather makes me tired and moody.” Then she asked Harry, “what would you like for breakfast?”
As he opened his mouth to answer, Gemma interjected, “Is he coming back? Is that why you’re upset? Let me know and I won’t let him come near our house, I–”
“Gemma,” their mother cut her off. “He’s not coming back. He’s never coming back.” Then she paused for an indecisive moment. “A friend of mine saw him in Manchester last night; he was with someone else. His new wife. Maybe his girlfriend. But he’s never coming back.”
Harry didn’t know why she could say something in a matter-of-fact tone and still make it sound so sad. It must have taken her years of practice to act like she was fine when she wasn't.
Before he knew it, a tear had escaped the corner of his eye. He quickly wiped it off his cheek so his mum and sister couldn’t see him cry. He didn’t want to make this moment about him.
Gemma wrapped her arms around their mum’s waist, and he did it too, his arms over Gemma's. They both rested their head against their mother's chest. Being on her left, he could hear the beating of her heart so clearly as if it was his own. If hugs could heal all types of wounds, his mum's hugs could bring a dead person back to life. He would never tell her, though; stuff like this was too dark for her liking.
“We don’t need him; we’re fine the way we are. Just the three of us,” Gemma said. She sounded like she was going to cry, but Harry knew she’d never cry. At least not in front of him.
The last time he’d seen her cry had been a few weeks ago. This boy named Eli had just broken up with her. She’d been in her room. The door had been left unlocked (she must have forgotten to lock it). He’d burst in to prank her with a plastic snake when she shot her head up, mascara running down her face. He’d been frozen when she marched over and slammed the door in his face. They’d never talked about that.
“Just the three of us,” their mum repeated, sounding more cheerful than before as she squeezed them a little tighter. “Now I’m going to make you some eggs, and after breakfast, we’ll grow some new plants in our garden, yeah?”
“Can I use the shovel this time?” Gemma asked.
“She always gets to use the shovel!” Harry objected.
After breakfast, their mum went to the shop and brought home a new shovel.
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When Harry returned to the house, he found Gemma sitting with their mum in the kitchen.
With a twitch of her lips, which was meant to be a smile, his mother motioned to the chair beside her and told him to take a seat. His heart was losing its rhythm as he padded around the table to sit on her left.
“I’ve told her,” Gemma said right as he opened his mouth. Mouth still open, he glanced at his mum, who brought a hand to his face and cupped his cheek.
“You might think I’m angry at you, but I’m not, Harry,” she said. “I can’t stop you from wanting to take him back. He’s still your father.”
“He’s not our father. He’s Winton,” Gemma said, eyes piercing at Harry. “Tell her.”
He couldn’t. And his mum knew it. She batted Gemma’s request away with an easy wave of her hand and said, “Your brother is entitled to his own feelings, Gem. Besides, Winton–” it was the first time he’d heard her say that name “–has paid for our losses with his own. I don’t think I can ever forgive him for what he’s done to us, but I do feel sorry for him. And I think Harry has done the right thing by treating him and his daughter with kindness. And Gemma, you have also done the right thing by being protective of your brother.”
“I was protecting all three of us.” Gemma pouted like a little girl as she snuggled into their mother’s arm.
“It’s always gonna be the three of us, Gem,” their mother said, stroking their hair tenderly. “No matter who comes and goes in and out of our lives. We’re together forever. You’re always gonna be my babies. Nothing is going to change that.”
When Harry heard a sniffle, he almost didn’t pay attention, until he saw Gemma covering her eyes, her shoulders rising and falling unsteadily.
She was crying. What had happened? Was it because of him? Oh no, what had he done?
“Ashton broke up with me,” she muttered in sobs.
“Son of a bitch!” Harry half-shouted. Their mum shot him a disapproving glare, which he ignored as his hands squeezed into fists, clenching so hard his knuckles turned white. He felt like he could punch a hole in the wall or kick a chair to release his anger.
The last time he’d seen Gemma cry, she’d cried over an asshole. Now she was crying over another asshole. This time must be worse because she didn’t lock herself in a room. Her tears just came falling, and they didn’t stop.
Harry didn’t know much about Asher because Gemma barely talked about her relationships. But he’d always sensed something douchey about that rich bloke.
“Was he cheating on you?” he asked.
“No.” Gemma shook her head. “It’s nothing like that.” She kept her face down and rubbed her eyes with the heel of her palm. “It’s not an official break up. He asked for a short break…”
“Fucking asshole.” Harry exhaled sharply, his lip drawn back in a snarl. “Do you want me to talk to him?”
“No, Harry, please. I don’t want you to do anything. Just–” she halted to suck in a rapid breath “–I just want you to know. Please don’t do anything.”
His stomach twisted as he got up and wrapped his arms around his mum and Gemma. When he was small, he’d wished to be older and bigger, so he could hold them both at once and protect them from all the bad things in the world. Now that they fit so perfectly in his embrace, the best he could do was simply be their shoulder to cry on.
.
.
.
Isaac should have knocked.
Three sets of eyes fell on him like he’d committed a crime in broad daylight. He was about to apologise and return to the living room when he caught a glimpse of Gemma, and noticed the faint black smudges below her bottom lashes.
She’d been crying. Harry looked like he needed a punching bag. And Anne was staring blankly at her coffee cup.
It wasn’t because of Isaac, was it? Had Gemma told them what had happened that day outside the coffee shop? And yesterday in the car. And last night, when she brought him an extra blanket before bed. All they’d done was kiss, and yet he felt like he’d ruined her life. He wouldn’t be surprised if Harry tackled him to the floor right this instant.
It was Gemma who got up first. She blinked rapidly as if to hold back her tears and brushed past him out of the kitchen.
“There you are, Isaac,” Anne said as she pushed away from the table. “Sit. I’ll make you breakfast.”
“Thanks, Anne. You’re the best,” Isaac said and pulled up a seat across from Harry.
Isaac could see his snowball of lies rolling straight downhill at full speed, and right before it crashed down on him, Harry broke the silence.
“Did Gem say anything to you on the drive here?”
“No, she didn’t,” Isaac said. “Did something happen? Was she crying?”
Harry furiously raked his fingers through his hair. “That son of a bitch broke up with her.”
“Asher?”
“Yeah.”
“When?”
“Before she came here with you, I think. She didn’t say anything at all?”
“No.” Isaac shook his head, his right fist tightened on his knee under the table. They’d kissed three times, and she hadn’t bothered to tell him about the breakup.
At least now he knew the killer look on Harry’s face had been for Asher, not him. And only his first kiss with Gemma had been wrong; even when it had felt everything but.
“Mum, I’m going to Y/N’s,” Harry announced, then came to give Anne a kiss before he left.
.
.
.
Gemma knocked on the door of Harry’s dorm room, fingers clutching the hem of her shirt.
Maybe she should have let him know she’d come to London. She’d been afraid he’d say he was busy. She had to see him. Not to talk about her recent breakup, of course. Harry didn’t know about the guy because she never told him.
Her friends had warned her beforehand that this relationship was going to go sour, and as always, she hadn’t listened. She didn’t want to come to them and whine about it now; they’d punish her with endless I told you so’s.
When the door swung open, it wasn’t Harry.
A tall blond-haired lad asked Gemma whom she was looking for. He looked like a human Ken doll and smelt like a Calvin Klein holiday pop-up. Her mind stuttered for a whole second.
“Sorry, I must have come to the wrong room.”
“Wait. Gemma, right?” he asked, pointing a finger at her. “You’re Harry’s sister.”
“Does Harry live here?”
“Yes, I’m his roommate. Isaac.” He opened the door wider and nodded his head inside. “Come in. Harry will be back soon.”
She reluctantly entered. The room was neat and had a mild floral scent, which made her doubt her brother actually lived here; his room at home was always a pigsty. When she saw his guitar in the corner of the room, her shoulders rounded with relief.
Isaac sat on the bottom bunk and beckoned her over. She did as she was bid and took a seat in the chair across from him.
“He didn’t know you were coming?” he asked.
“No. I wanted to surprise him.” It didn’t matter if it wasn’t the truth. She barely knew this lad anyway.
Isaac looked away, his lips pressed together as he drummed his fingers on the mattress. The conversation turned sour. Neither knew what to say. Gemma scanned her eyes around the room, desperately wanting to find a topic to discuss so they wouldn’t have to stay silent until Harry returned. Fuck, she hated small talks.
“You’re a photographer?” she asked as soon as she spotted the expensive cameras displayed on the shelf by the bunk bed.
“I major in Photography.”
“Wicked.”
He chuckled at her awkward comment. His eyes were even bluer and clearer than the ocean. Was that a dimple she saw? Shit, had she been staring?
“What do you study, Gemma? You’re a student, right?”
“I major in Economics,” her voice was so soft it sounded like she was embarrassed by the answer. She wasn’t. This guy was just really attractive, and attractive people intimidated her.
“So you’re really smart,” he said, a line appeared between his perfectly even brows.
“People who do arts are really smart, too.”
“I never said we aren’t.” He lifted his shoulders. “But in my opinion, economists are up here on the 'really smart' scale.” He raised his hand above his head, which got her beaming. “I can’t deal with numbers. They make my head hurt,” he added. “Harry, on the other hand, is excellent at those sorts of things. And somehow he wants to become an actor.”
“I know right? I hate how almost perfect he is,” Gemma groaned. “But he’s a very messy person. Has he been a terrible roommate?”
“He’s actually pleasant to live with. My last roommate always had sex while I was in the room,” Isaac said with a look of disgust. “I used to have the upper bunk. One night I thought there was an earthquake until I heard them moaning.”
“Oh my God,” she exclaimed, covering her mouth and giggling lightly.
Isaac pretended to shiver with his whole body. “I get goosebumps just thinking about it. When I moved to this room, I went straight to the bottom one,” he said, patting the empty spot beside him.
Another moment of awkward silence passed by.
“I’m just thankful that Harry doesn’t bring girls back here," Isaac said. "Some nights he doesn’t come back at all, so it’s like I’ve got this room all to myself.”
Gemma rolled her eyes. “When he was at home, he always snuck out in the middle of the night. He was such a ladies man.”
“Still is.”
“Oh no!” Harry’s voice made their heads shoot to the door. “How long have you two been talking about me?”
“Not long enough,” Isaac answered as he pushed himself up and grabbed his black camera bag on the desk beside the bed. To Gemma, he said, “When we meet again, I expect more of his embarrassing stories.”
“Hurry the fuck up, Isaac.” Harry aggressively clapped his hands like Gordon Ramsay on those cooking shows. “Lindsey is waiting downstairs. And she told me to tell you to hurry the fuck up.”
Of course Isaac had a girlfriend. Gemma didn't expect anything and still, she was disappointed. She bet his girlfriend looked like a Barbie doll.
“Coming, coming.” Isaac threw the bag over his shoulder and saluted Gemma as he walked backwards toward the door. “Hope to see you again soon, Gemma,” he said, his little dimple popping again.
.
.
.
There must be something wrong with her. Gemma was sure of it.
She sat on her childhood bed, back against the headboard, chewing on her nail. Despite having stopped crying a while ago, her eyes still felt too heavy as more tears threatened to spill at any moment.
She heard a knock on the door, and assumed it was her mum because Harry never knocked (when he did, never so gently). Too bad, it wasn't her mum.
Isaac lifted a hand awkwardly to say hi when she opened the door, a boyish grin stretching his rosy lips. He had what she liked to call (in her head) ‘a secret dimple’. Hers and Harry’s dimples would go all out with only a slight twitch of their mouths, while Isaac’s dimple was reserved for certain people – those he cared a bit more than the others to smile a bit wider so his dimple became visible. It always was when he saw her.
She decided not to think too much about it.
“Your mum told me to tell you to come downstairs for breakfast,” he said.
Had anyone told him he looked like a Ken doll?
“I’ve already eaten with Harry this morning.” She rubbed her forearms while avoiding eye contact. “Anything else?”
God, she sounded like a bitch. It’d sounded less rude in her head.
“Are you okay?” he asked, unbothered by her obnoxious attitude. As she took too long to answer (she wasn’t going to, anyway), he went straight to the point. “Why didn’t you tell me that you and your boyfriend broke up?”
“We didn’t actually break up, he–” broke up with me “We took a short break.”
“After you’d told him about us?”
“No. I haven’t got a chance to.”
She couldn’t believe she was lying to Isaac. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise as she hadn’t been truthful to anyone since Winton had returned, not even to herself. She’d said she didn’t want to see him; she’d lied. She’d said she couldn’t understand why Harry could forgive Winton; she’d lied. She’d said she’d been in a happy relationship; she’d lied. She’d said she didn’t like Isaac, not like that; she’d lied.
She’d been lying so much it got easier and easier each time. Now it was impossible to stop.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Isaac repeated the question she’d tried to avoid.
“Didn’t feel like it was important,” she said to her feet.
“Wow, okay.”
She looked at him through her lashes. His secret dimple was gone. His jawline turned sharper as he tried not to frown.
“You know what? Forget it,” he sounded out of breath as he dropped his head and rubbed the corner of his eye with a finger. She pulled on his sleeve, and he backed away, still gazing at the floor.
“I’m done with whatever this is, Gem,” he said. “I’m tired of being somebody’s temporary something. Second choice, an opportunity, a rebound, whatever you call it.”
She knew what he meant. Y/N had chosen Harry over him. Gemma didn’t know much about his relationship with Emilia, but that girl had exploited Isaac’s kindness. He was too nice for everyone, especially Gemma.
“It’s me, Isaac. I’m the problem,” she said before he turned away, closing her eyes as it felt like she was talking to herself and not to him. “I think something’s wrong with me.”
“What are you saying?”
She allowed herself to look at him. His doll-like lips curved into a frown. All she could think about was how pretty he looked.
“I’m messed up,” she mumbled, pointing to the left side of her chest. “In here…
“I’ve spent my whole life chasing after men who reminded me of my dad. I throw myself into relationships in which I have to fight for a man’s love and attention. And when there’s someone who genuinely cares about me, I push him away because I don’t feel like I deserve it. I hurt people who love me and cry over the ones who don’t. And you’re the last person I want to hurt because…
“Because you’re the best of them all.”
After this, Isaac might never look at her the same way again. The last guy she’d opened up to had told her she’d had daddy issues and needed therapy, which wasn’t entirely wrong though he could have been nicer about it. Isaac, however, would never say such things.
“I also feel that way,” he said after a moment’s silence.
She nodded, biting her lower lip. She thought she knew what he meant, until he added, “You’re the best of them all, Gem.”
Her eyes shot at him, and his secret dimple reappeared. Before she could restart her brain, he took one large step, his long arms draped around her.
.
.
.
“Want some help with that?”
Harry’s head snapped up, his eyes widened at the man in his drive. He recognised the man right away. That was his neighbour. Y/N’s dad.
Harry had only talked to Y/N's mum because Y/N's dad – with a squared stern face and angry brows – reminded Harry of his Biology teacher. Mr Johnson hated Harry because Harry barely passed most of his exams. But Bradford barely knew Harry beside the fact that Harry lived next door and was friends with Y/N.
Harry shifted his eyes between his bicycle lying defeatedly on the lawn and back at Bradford, who was still waiting for an answer. Harry wanted to say he got this. But his hands were covered with the ‘black stuff’ from having spent the last hour trying to tighten the chain on his bicycle.
Bradford broke into a toothy smile – which changed his entire face (in a good way) – and walked across the yard toward Harry.
Harry stepped aside, hands in his trousers pockets as Bradford got down on one knee and observed the crime scene. Harry felt like he should report what had happened though it was obvious. “The chain is too loose. It keeps coming undone while I ride.”
“I see.” Bradford slapped his hands on his thighs and pushed himself upright. He mimicked Harry’s posture with both hands in his pockets as he cocked his head toward his house. “Bring it to my garage. I’ll fix it.”
Harry stumbled over the bicycle, picked it up and rolled it after Bradford.
Y/N had always complained about her dad and described him as somewhat apathetic and narcissistic. Now that Harry had interacted with Bradford, he thought Bradford was pretty cool. Probably because Harry didn’t know what it was like to have a dad who didn’t only fix his bicycle, but also taught him how to maintain and clean it.
He wished Bradford would play football with him and take him fishing, too.
“I admire you, Harry,” Bradford said as he sat on a tool and wiped his greasy hands with a tattered rag. “It’s Harry, right?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Call me Bradford.” Bradford smiled again. He looked like the Joker when he smiled. Not in a creepy way; his smile was just really wide and his teeth were really neat and white. Maybe he hated smiling because those teeth could blind people.
“I can’t. My mum would scold me.”
“You’re a good kid, Harry,” Bradford said as he clasped Harry’s bony shoulder with his large hand. “And I admire you because Y/N is really fond of you. It’s hard to get close to her, but you’re different. She never listens to me but would do anything you say.”
Bradford made it sound like Y/N was a little monster while she was the total opposite. When Harry thought of her, he thought of candy floss and daisies, and vanilla; she smelt like vanilla, and he loved vanilla.
“I really like Y/N,” he said, and when Bradford’s bright smile began to dim, Harry quickly added, “As a friend, sir. She’s like my little sister.”
To be honest, Harry didn’t think of Y/N as his little sister. She talked like a kid his age (only more naive), and he’d already got a sister. He and Gemma didn’t get along as well as he and Y/N did. He wasn’t sure what Y/N was to him. Definitely not a sister.
Bradford didn’t comment on what Harry had said. He patted Harry on the arm, got up and pointed to the bicycle. “If there’s any more problem, bring it to me.”
“Yes, sir,” Harry said, nodding quickly.
.
.
.
“I think it’s so cute that yours and Y/N’s family decided to build a gate between your backyards,” Alice said as soon as she saw Harry. She and Niall had brought the wooden chairs from the veranda outside to sit beside the tiny tree, which had grown about thirty centimetres since Harry’s mum had planted it.
Harry towered over to Niall and Alice while they sat like The Thinker, contemplating the plant as if it would grow legs and dance for them if they waited long enough.
“You really have nothing to do, huh?” he asked, holding back a laugh.
“Is this where you first met Y/N?” Alice asked him.
“Yeah.”
“You two should get married here,” Niall said.
“How tall will this tree be when you two finally get married?” Alice asked.
“Don’t know.”
“Ha!” Alice stabbed a finger at him. “You have thought about marrying Y/N.”
“Please let me know when you propose.”
Harry whipped around. It was a male voice so he didn’t know why his heart nearly burst through his chest thinking Y/N had heard the conversation.
Bradford stopped beside Harry and clasped Harry’s shoulder. “Got time? I need some help with the birdhouse.”
“Oh, you’re building it today?” Harry asked.
“Yup. You’re leaving tonight and I need help.”
They crossed the fence to the wooden shed in Bradford's backyard, which he’d built after the storm that had knocked down the tree.
There wasn’t a lot of work to do with the birdhouse. Harry had built one for an art project back in middle school; it was pretty simple. Bradford had only asked for his help so they’d finish quicker.
Harry cut the large piece of wood into different parts, and drilled holes into each of them so Bradford could sand the edges of the newly drilled holes.
“I can’t believe I used to fix your bicycle. Now you’re doing all the heavy work, and you’re dating my daughter," Bradford said.
“Dating Y/N is hard work, too, sir.”
“What?”
Harry stopped abruptly, his face pallid. “No, that was a joke, I–”
“Just messing with you.” Bradford laughed and motioned him to continue. “Y/N is hard work. So headstrong, just like her mother. But I think you’ll be fine with her. She’s different with you.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“Stop calling me sir. It’s Bradford.”
“Bradford,” Harry said.
“Good.” Bradford flashed his Joker smile, his teeth still as bright as they’d always been.
“So how’s the thing with your dad?” he asked while they were assembling the pieces together. Harry raised his brows, taken aback. “You don’t have to answer, by the way,” Bradford added. “Y/N didn’t tell me. Niall Horan did.”
Harry snorted. “You don’t have to call him Niall Horan. Just Niall.”
“Marcy kept calling him Niall Horan because she’s obsessed with him. I can’t just call him Niall.” Bradford stood straight and started stretching, his back made a pop. “Anyway, forget that I asked.” He stepped back, hands on his hips as he admired their finished work. “What do you think?”
“We should paint it,” Harry said.
Bradford stuck out his lower lip, rubbing his chin like an artist in a gallery. “Yeah. Maybe tomorrow. Y/N would kill me if I kept you here for too long.”
“Where is she?”
“Bedroom. Serious writer mode.”
Harry nodded understandingly as he wiped his dusty hands with a cloth. “I just told my mum about him. My dad."
“How did it go?”
“Better than I expected. She was fine with him coming back into our lives. I don’t know if she was just saying that or…”
“I think she meant it,” Bradford said. “It’s been twenty years, hasn’t it? And Anne is one of the most forgiving and loving people I know. You and Gemma are adults now; it’s fair that you get to make up your own mind.”
Harry pursed his lips. “You’re probably right."
“Anyway.” Bradford waved dismissively. “Thanks for your help. Now go check on Y/N.” Then he jabbed at Harry, his face stern again. “I trust you not to follow her into a cemetery again.”
“Never again, sir,” Harry said, straightened like a soldier.
.
.
.
Y/N stirred awake when she felt a warm body snuggling her from behind. She didn’t have to look to know it was Harry; his ‘Harry’ scent, which she was shamelessly addicted to, couldn’t be mistaken with anything else.
He held her waist tighter, pressed his face into her hair and said in a raspy voice, “Hi, baby. Sleep well?”
“I can’t believe I fell asleep,” she groaned and flipped over to face him, slipping her hands under the pillow. “How long have you been watching me sleep, Edward?”
A corner of his lips rose at the Twilight reference. He rubbed her stomach and trailed his hand under her shirt. His warmth against her cool skin made her shiver.
“Actually, your dad told me to go check on you.”
“Hmm. Did he give you shit for taking me to the cemetery last night?”
“Psst. He knew you forced me to go.”
“You’re trying to steal my dad. Not cool, Harry.” She scrunched up her nose which made him laugh. He brushed her hair out of her face and pressed a kiss to her cheek.
“Been writing?”
“I pulled an allnighter.”
“I knew it,” he said, probably to himself. “Why do you keep working on the story, though? I thought it’d been finished and sent.”
“Sent to Laura, who sent it right back.”
“Why?”
“Because it wasn’t good enough.”
“She said it was good,” Harry said.
Y/N flipped onto her back and placed her arm over her forehead as he propped his head up in his hand. “Not good good. Not ready-to-publish good,” she said tiredly.
“It’s the story of us. It’s good good.”
She squinted her eyes at him. “If you’re suggesting that I use your name for PR–”
“What? No. Why do you always think the worst of me?”
“You tell me.”
He rolled his eyes and snorted at her pouty face. “What I meant was, it’s a story about us, so it's good the way you wrote it.”
She flipped onto her stomach, cheek in her hand as she blew out her cheeks. “After all the changes I've made, it’s not the story of us anymore.”
“Is it supposed to be a good thing.”
“If I get published. Yeah.”
“Why do you want to get published?”
“Because I want to become a real writer?” She looked at him funny. Did he really ask her that?
“You are a real writer, Bambi,” he said softly and tucked a strand behind her ear. “So when you get published, it should be your original story. Childhood doesn’t last forever, but in your world…” he poked at her chest “...it does…
“And our childhood was too beautiful to be contaminated by those commercialised inputs. I want our children to read it and see us. Not some fictional characters who are nothing like us.”
“Our children?” She wiggled her eyebrows.
“Our separate children because we’ll obviously marry other people,” he joked and she playfully shoved his head into the pillow.
She climbed on top of him to straddle his waist and brought his palm to her cheek. He stroked it with his thumb. “I love when you say things,” she said. “You should be a writer.”
“But I’m not.” He slipped his hand free to boop her nose. “You are. You’ve always been. And I’m your biggest fan.”
“You’ll have to compete with my dad for that position.”
“Oh?” He pretended to look worried. “Okay then, between you and me, I’m your biggest fan.”
.
.
.
Harry had fallen asleep with his head on Y/N's shoulder. He’d asked if he could stay and watch her write. “You look sexy when you momentarily forget I exist,” he’d joked. Fifteen minutes later, he was snoring.
She carefully propped his head on a pillow, put down her laptop, and slid out of bed, taking her phone with her. Once she was outside her room, she closed the door and called Laura.
“Yes, my favourite client of all time?” Laura said cheerfully. She always said that, but Y/N didn’t think she meant it.
“Hey, Laura. About my book, I...uhm...I was wondering if it’d be okay if we...you know...discuss the changes again? To be honest, I don’t feel comfortable with most of them.”
“Y/N,” Laura stressed the name like it was the hardest word in the dictionary. Y/N bit her lip as she braced herself for a long speech of ‘trust me, I’m your agent’. But then Laura said, “You’re the writer. I may have given you a bunch of notes, but they were just suggestions. You’re the decision-maker here. It’s your story, and it’s good. That’s why I wanted to work with you in the first place.”
Y/N’s heart leapt as she pressed a fist to her forehead.
“Send me an email of the changes you’d like to make. We’ll discuss when you get back to London, okay?”
“Thank you. Thank you so much!” Y/N brightened. She couldn’t wait to tell Harry and her dad. They would get so excited and smug and probably tell her, ‘I told you to believe in yourself’ or some cheesy shit like that.
She loved her goofy men.
“This is why you’re my favourite client, Y/N,” Laura said before they ended the call. “You always know what you want.”
#harry styles#harry styles writing#harry styles fanfic#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fanfics#harry styles fanfictions#harry styles imagine#harry styles imagines#harry styles fluff#harry styles angst#harry styles series#my girl series
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Alright, Sanders Sides fandom (+ Six the Musical fandom).
I watched this *ahem* neato slime tutorial about Six the Musical and then listened to the soundtrack on Spotify and then overanalyzed the lyrics on genius.com and I have a lot of emotions about this story. So what do I do? I make a Sanders Sides au/analysis for it, obviously, putting WAY too much thought into different interpretations of which side could be which queen. Let’s jump in.
Catherine of Aragon
Catherine in the golden-yellow and black costume. Catherine who knows when she is lied to. Catherine who puts herself first when it comes down to it. Catherine who deals with disrespect but knows her worth anyway. Catherine who “keeps her cool” and stays in control of herself. Catherine must be Janus, lord of the lies, self-preservation, whose calm facade has cracked so rarely.
But then again, Catherine is a leader. Catherine is concerned with loyalty, and what is right and wrong, and that is why she stands up against the divorce—it is wrong of Henry to divorce her, according to her morals. Catherine can swallow her pride, and Catherine seeks a solution to the last, giving Henry so many chances. Catherine handles her situation with grace. Catherine must be Patton, the Hufflepuff, Morality, loving and kind and endlessly forgiving, always trying to do what is right and guide others to do the same.
But then again, Catherine strives to “keep her cool.” To look at things with a level head. She speaks up and reasons with Henry, and in return asks for his own reasoning. She refuses to be made into a joke or looked down upon. Catherine is stubborn and verbose. Catherine must be Logan, the voice of reason, who does his best to keep a handle on his temper and appear as professional as possible, who explains and reasons and is logic above all, who is terrified of being seen as a joke, who is desperate to just be heard for once in his life.
Anne Boleyn
Anne in the green sleeves. Anne who has no filter whatsoever, Anne who says whatever comes into her head. Anne who makes jokes about her own beheading. Anne who says “don’t be bitter/cause I’m fitter/why hasn’t it hit her?/he doesn’t wanna bang you/somebody hang you.” Anne who is “sorry not sorry” about everything she says. Anne who is the most gleeful and up-front about “x-rated” content. Anne whose energy is boundless. Anne who is disliked and cast in a negative light by those around her. Anne must be Remus, the darkly creative, responsible for intrusive thoughts, who would never hide anything going through his head and sees no reason to regret this, the “evil twin.”
But then again, Anne who didn’t mean to hurt anyone.” Anne who desperately cries “what was I meant to do?” over and over again as every choice she makes has no good outcome for her. Anne whose comments are more harshly received than she sometimes means. Anne who does not take it well when she comes second to someone else. Anne must be Roman, the ego, stuck in a damned-if-I-do-damned-if-I-don’t situation towards Janus throughout the “Putting Others First” saga, who often lashes out instinctively only to immediately apologize, who strives to be Thomas’s hero.
But then again, Anne whose actions are surprisingly logical from her own point of view. Anne who uses phrases like “obviously” to describe what took place. Anne who gives back tit for tat and no more when she feels disrespected. Anne who is blunt, perhaps more so than is good for her. Anne must be Logan, who always does what makes the most sense to him, who considers what is fair and equal, who can come across as harsher than he means.
Jane Seymour
Jane who is patient. Jane who is steady. Jane who forgives over and over again and makes allowance for behavior she does not deserve to tolerate. Jane whose family is of the utmost importance to her. Jane is overlooked for her kindness and meekness but is so, so strong. Jane who makes puns about her own name. Jane must be Patton, who adores his family, the punster, who is established as the dad friend from day one, who gives and nurtures and forgives endlessly, who is resilient and strong and supportive.
But then again, Jane sticks with the positions she has chosen. Jane who is easily overlooked. Jane who acknowledges the often-sucky realities of life and does not let it bring her down. Jane who is strong as stone and unshakeable. Jane must be Logan, who will not back down, who can be relegated to the sidelines too easily, who is down to earth and who chooses to see the wonder in the ordinary despite all the bad.
But then again, Jane knows she could be rejected at a misstep. Jane who loves, and is loved, but believes that love could “disappear.” Jane who withstands hardships and heartbreak and fear. Jane who uses storm imagery constantly. Jane whose strength and love is akin to stone, something rarely used as a positive metaphor. Jane must be Virgil, who worries he will be rejected for his dark past, who withstood being shunned by those he “lo—cares for” in the past, who is prickly and can cause harm but has grown and matured, who will not be reduced to a single facet of himself even if that makes him more “complicated,” whose logo is a stormcloud.
Anna of Cleves
Anna who is bold. Anna who is unafraid to speak her mind and gets what she wants. Anna whose physical appearance led to her rejection. Anna who is the epitome of “me time” and “self care.” Anna who has no problem being sassy and gives as good as she gets. Anna must be Janus, who advocates for self care and putting oneself first, who is a drama queen, whose sarcasm is off the charts, who has been accused of trickery (sometimes justified, sometimes not), who thrives on attention, whose snake face led to instant distrust from everyone around him, who will go to any length to be heard.
But then again, Anna who demands attention. Anna who gives herself every luxury that occurs to her on a whim. Anna is the only character to openly curse, and gives it a double meaning. Anna who revels in the portrait that caused her rejection and takes pride in it. Anna is the first to make fun of Henry's genitals. Anna must be Remus, who revels in everything he is told not to, who is impulsive and whimsical and unfiltered, who calls Logan a dork and later reveals the inappropriate double meaning, who takes up space unashamedly.
But then again, Anna who constantly reminds us of her royal position. Anna who leans into the queenly activities and possessions. Anna who is flamboyant. Anna who dances when her jam comes on the lute. Anna who rejects criticism of herself. Anna who is “looking cute.” Anna must be Roman, the ego, who put “Flamboyant” by Dorian Electra on his playlist, who is creativity embodied and dances and sings and acts, who “has got to slay,” who reminds us constantly of his princely status.
Katherine Howard
Katherine who comes across at first as flirty and confident only to later reveal that she is insecure because she has only ever been valued for her appearance. Katherine who idealizes and daydreams about someone caring about her for herself and not her looks. Katherine who uses self-confident language to mask her insecurity. Katherine whose language is so flowery and filled with vivid descriptions. Katherine who desperately wants to be approved of and loved. Katherine must be Roman, whose confident facade hides insecurity, who is a hopeless romantic, who is a storyteller, whose language is filled with descriptors and metaphors, who desperately craves approval and validation, who is the romantic side.
But then again, Katherine gives others the benefit of the doubt. Katherine who looks for friends everywhere she goes. Katherine who constantly uses euphemisms and language that might be considered childish. Katherine who is sweet and sincere. Katherine must be Patton, who censors his language and can skirt around topics that are too unpleasant, who forgives and gives second chances, who is kind and soft, who makes friends almost as easily as breathing.
But then again, Katherine who has been let down over and over again. Katherine who tries again and again after every disappointment. Katherine who is anxious to be approved of. Katherine must be Virgil, who dealt with the “scorn” of those he admired for so long, who has persevered through everything, who deals with self-doubt, who always tries again.
But then again, Katherine who thinks she ought to know better, but never does. Katherine who is so, so tired of this same shit every time. Katherine who is too worldly and disillusioned. Katherine who hopes and tries again every time she gets let down. Katherine must be Janus, who put “You’re a Cad” on his playlist, who was rejected time and time again by Thomas and the others but kept trying, who went on a whole ramble about how society is out to get you and the only person you can really trust is yourself.
Catherine Parr
Catherine who brought all the queens together despite their differences and their fights. Catherine who was separated from the person she cared about before eventually reuniting with him. Catherine who uses her voice defiantly because she is tired of being silenced. Catherine who doesn’t need love to get by. Catherine who loves music. Catherine who sometimes loses hope, but keeps going anyway. Catherine must be Virgil, the bridge between “light” and “dark” sides, who cannot be silenced, always listening (to Thomas or to music), who cared about the “light” sides long before he was accepted as part of the group.
But then again, Catherine who prioritizes herself and her own story. Catherine who sings her song “for me.” Catherine who is a little bit cynical about love stories, which we’re normally taught to idealize. Catherine for whom the rules of society are a trap. catherine who demands control over herself. Catherine who rejects the rules of the queens’ competition when they restrict her. Catherine must be Janus, self-preservation and self-care, who feels restricted and endangered by the rules of society, who dismisses Patton’s urge to help those in need with a “yeah, sure, whatever, if that’s your thing,” who pushes Thomas to be true to himself.
But then again, Catherine who “built a future in her mind” with her love. Catherine who loves art in all its forms, and consumes and creates it with abandon. Catherine who wants to tell her story on her own terms after being silenced for so long. Catherine must be Roman, endlessly creative, romantic daydreamer, struggling with balancing his wants with Thomas's needs and feeling silenced because of it.
But then again, Catherine who writes, and is scholarly. Catherine who fights for equality and takes steps within her power to make specific differences. Catherine who champions education for women. Catherine who cannot stand being boxed in and made to be less than she truly is. Catherine who bottles up her rage at the unfairness of it all for as long as she can. Catherine whose feelings are pushed aside. Catherine must be Logan, the teacher, who pushes his emotions aside until he cannot hold them back anymore, who feels like he is not seen for who he is, who cares deeply about things being fair and equitable, who outlines action steps, who always asks more questions.
--
The queens are each multi-faceted characters full of depth—they’re human, gorgeously and heartwrenchingly so. It makes sense that there are multiple Sides that could easily fit into each of their roles, and I haven’t even covered every possible interpretation. There are dozens of possible lineups to come up with here, each that I love to think about. What’s your favorite? I’d love to hear.
#sanders sides#thomas sanders#six the musical#ts sides#six broadway#long post#virgil sanders#janus sanders#logan sanders#roman sanders#patton sanders#remus sanders#peregrin said a thing
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Sneak Attacks (LAMP)
With Virgil being Anxiety, he's the one that either scares or gets scared easily. Of course, the former was definitely more fun for him. One of his tactics is his power of Invisiblity. His physical form would seemingly fade to almost complete transparency. One could see him, but they'd have to look really hard to find his outline. The others knew of his ability and tried to find a way to track him. Unfortunately, even with Logan's elaborate planning, Roman's clever hunting skills, or Patton's incredibly strong Dad Senses, he's always found a way to avoid being caught. Eventually, it led them to giving up on catching their boyfriend in the act.
One thing's for sure, Virgil put this power to good use, especially when he's feeling playful (which occurs more often than you realize). With these moods, he would sneak around the house without being noticed or detected thanks to him walking quieter than a feather falling on glass. No one would notice him at all until he became visible again only to be startled by his presence. Here's where his playfulness comes in. With his abilities, he loves to jump scare Thomas and his boyfriends from time to time by popping up in front of them and screaming in their faces or just appearing and waiting until they turned around and saw him. Sometimes, he would use this power as a form of a tickle attack as well. He always gets a huge kick out of their startled screams and giggles (especially Roman's manly high-pitched cry). Today was no exception.
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Logan sat calmly at his desk completing more paperwork. He couldn't seem to focus though because he felt a presence in his room watching him. He turned to look in the direction of the presence but didn't see anything or anyone, so he turned back to his work and brushed off the feeling as overworking himself. He didn't realize that Virgil was standing right next to him with a mischievous smirk as he turned back. Suddenly, Logan felt a swipe across the side of his neck and jolted upward somewhat. He turned quickly in his chair to see who was there but found no one as Virgil moved to his other side and did it again. Logan jumped up from his chair and stood in the middle of his room, looking around to find the culprit of his distractions.
Virgil casually walked up behind his boyfriend and made himself visible again and whispered only one word into his ear, "Boo." Logan practically launched out of his skin as Virgil instantly wrapped his arms around him. "Virgil! Goodness, don't startle me like that," Logan gasped as he clutched his chest while laying his other hand on one of his lover's. Virgil only chuckled somewhat darkly, "Your overworking yourself again, Specs. You should relax." At that, Virgil started scratching at Logan's sides and ribs.
"No, Virgil! Waihaihaihaihait! Stahahahap!" Logan cried. "Not until you learn how to relax and loosen up," Virgil started as he trailed over Logan's belly and scribbled his fringers over the surface, "besides, stressing and worrying is my job." Logic doubled over with chuckles of mirth as Virgil asked again, "So, are you gonna take a break?" Logan nodded frantically as he was overcome with giggles. "Good," was all he heard as the sensations ceased their attack. Logic curled up as Anxiety picked him up and carried him to his bed so he'd sleep comfortably, and the latter silently left the room and became invisible again.
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Patton laid comfortably on his stomach on his bed while watching cute puppies and kittens on his laptop as Virgil slipped into his room unheard. Patton's Dad Senses™ instantly kicked in, and he felt a presence that was similar to Logan's feeling. He paused his video and sat up to look around to find no one there. What he didn't know was that Virgil had moved to the side of the bed without being noticed and loomed over him as he turned back and continued watching his video. That is, until Virgil jumped and flopped on top of him, and he let out a yelp in surprise. "Aah! What in the...?" Patton paused as he glaced back and saw the familiar black and purple patched sleeves materialize into his view. He let out a sigh of relief followed by a small giggle and greeted his boyfriend, "Hello to you too, kiddo." "Hey, Dad," Virgil said with that same smirk that he had when he attacked Logan.
Patton glanced at him curiously and asked suspiciously, "What are you thinking about?" Virgil let out another dark chuckle like how he did with Logan and replied, "Only of how much I love to hear your giggles." Patton was about to ask how before he curled in on himself giggling from a scratching and light pinching feeling on his sides and belly. "Wait, Virgil! Nohohohoho!" was all that Patton could get out before he succumbed to his fate: a long and touching bonding moment with his boyfriend. "What's the matter, Patton?" Virgil asked, "Can't handle the touch of the tickles?" he teased. Patton was screaming at this point, "NAHAHAHAH! STAHAHP TEAHEAHEAHEASIHIHING!" If Patton wasn't hysterical already, then he was when Virgil blew a raspberry straight into his neck, "NAHAHAHAHAHA! VIRHIRHIRHIRHIGIAHAHAHAHAL!!! OKAHAHAHAY! UNCLE UNCUHUHULE!!!"
Virgil released his hold on his bubbly lover and picked him up to cuddle him as he calmed down from his ticklish high. "Love you, Virge," Patton said tiredly. He was slowly dosing off. Virgil gave a warm chuckle, kissed Patton's head and tucked him into his bed. "Love ya too, Pops," Virgil whispered as he kissed his forehead and left him to sleep.
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Roman was in the Imagination training for his next quest. After following him inside, Virgil was watching as Roman struck down his 38th dummy. Virgil, still invivsible, stood up and silently walked onto the field where Roman was sliding his sword back into it's scabbard. The former stepped up behind his fanciful counterpart without being heard and blew on the back of Roman's neck. Good thing he was ready though because Roman jumped and turned around with his sword wielded, but he was blocked by Virgil's own sword and a devious smirk on his face.
"Hey, Princey," Virgil started while making himself visible again, the smirk now in view, "need a sparring partner?" Roman just looked in surprise about the whole situation because Virgil RARELY ever volunteers to practice fighting techniques with him, but he agreed. "Be prepared to be struck down!" Roman exclaimed with a cocky smile plastered on his face. Virgil's smirked grew just as cocky because his sword held a secret weapon that will be revealed very soon. The two prepared for the initial attack. Roman charged first with a swift diagonal strike and aiming for Virgil's left shoulder. Virgil was quick to block and dodge the attack, then attempted a fast jab for Roman's torso but was averted to the side and slashed on his side by his partner's blade allowing him to earn the point.
"Not bad, Princey," Virgil complemented. Roman gave a confident laugh, "You're not so bad yourself." "Heh, tha-" "Just not better than me," Roman finished. Virgil gave an annoyed grunt but simply replied, "Watch you eat your words." At that moment, Virgil's sword began to glow a little, catching the royal's attention. "What's happening with your sword?" he questioned. Virgil gave his mischievous smirk again, charged towards the prince, slashed him across his torso with the same initial attack that Roman was going to use from the beginning, and skidded to a stop behind him.
Roman stood up with a small trail of smoke steaming up from the strike but noticed something strange. "What did you do," he questioned suspiciously surprised, "there's not a scratch on me at all!" The emo turned back toward the prince with the same smirk. "You'll see," was all he said. Roman charged to strike his dark counterpart again but was blocked by Virgil's blade again and struck in the same area a second time. This time, however, Roman fell to the ground giggling.
Roman questioned through his laughter, "Whahahahat dihid you dohoho toho mehehe?!" Virgil just chuckled his dark chuckle again for the third time that day and replied, "I casted a spell on my sword." Roman looked up at him in horror. "Now, whenever something or someone touches that area that I hit, it'll tickle you almost senseless for as long as it maintains physical contact," Virgil explained as he stepped towards the writhing body and rubbed at the area that met his blade, "and yet, you're better than me." "Yohohohou cheaheaheated!" Roman exclaimed as he rolled away from the touch, "Youhou'll pay for thahat."
With that Virgil turned invisible and dodged Roman's attack again but ran behind him, pushed him forward and ran off. Roman tried to chase him, but he couldn't hear where he went. Lucky for him, Virgil didn't go far (he was standing right in front of him). Roman took a couple of steps forward while looking side to side in search of his dark boyfriend but stopped when he felt a hand on his stomach and a ticklish buzzing spread from the touch to all over his belly and ribs. Roman curled in on himself falling hysterical as Virgil kept his hand in that position but moved behind the prince to assault his sides while becoming visible again. "STAHAHAHAP IHIHT, VIRHIRHIRGE! PLEAHEAHEAHSE!" Roman screamed. Virgil snickered at the scene and clicked his tongue teasingly," Tsk tsk tsk, a prince shouldn't be drawn to beg, Roman. Could it be that I am better than you?" Roman tried to fight back but was too overwhelmed with the sensations taking over his body.
Eventually, he finally caved. "OKAHAHAHAY! OKAY OKAY OKAY! YOU'RE BEHETTERHERHERHER!!" Roman shouted his surrender. Virgil finally let him go and deactivated the spell on his torso. Roman rolled over onto his back panting as Virgil held out a hand to help him up, and he graciously accepted. "I must say," Roman started, "you're a better swordsman than I thought, Love." Virgil gave a small chuckle in response while saying, "Thanks, Ro. You're not so bad yourself." With that, the two walked out of the Imagination hand in hand.
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Virgil was tired out from the eventful and energetic day, and it was only 2 pm. He decided to just lay down on the couch and take a nap for awhile. Little did he know was that all three of his boyfriends were silently waiting for him behind said furniture and prepping for their revenge attack. As Virgil laid down and got comfortable, Roman, Patton, and Logan sat patiently until he was completely unsuspecting. Roman peeked around the arm of the sofa and found Virgil seemingly asleep with his eyes closed, hands behind his head, and steady breathing. He turned to signal his lovers to get into position for their revenge.
Roman sat above Virgil's head to hold down his arms. Logan kneeled by his feet and held them in a headlock while Patton sat on Virgil's waist to torture his torso. Virgil realized the added weight and restraint he felt, so he opened his eyes to see three pairs looking at him with a glimmer of mischief and vengeance sparkling in each of them. "Hehe-hey g-guys," Virgil started nervously, "what's going on?" Roman was the first to respond. "Oh, just a little thing called..." he paused and looked at Patton, who glanced at Logan, who smirked back at Roman, and all finished together, "Revenge." Virgil immediately started squirming under their holds but found it to be pointless. "Pleaheahease. We can tahahalk about thihis," he pleaded, but it fell on deaf ears as Roman counted off.
"One..." "Waihait, no!" "Two..." Pleahease! Dohon't!" "..." Roman paused to leave Virgil to sweat for a second. Virgil started to calm down a little bit, but he thought too soon. "THREE!" Roman shouted, and Virgil felt ten digits squiggling in his armpits, ten scratching on his soles and under his toes, and ten more squeezing and pinching at his belly. And Virgil could do nothing but scream.
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAH! GUYHYHYHYHYS STAHAHAP IHIHIT! PLEAHEAHEASE!" Virgil cried out. All they did was either give a small chuckle or playfully shake their heads. "No can do, Mister," Patton started off. Logan continued for him, "we found it fitting that we claim our vengeance on you, especially for how the day had panned out." "Therefore, we hope we are proving our point to you, Stormcloud," Roman finalized. Virgil frantically nodded his head while yelling out, "You did! You dihihihihid! Pleaheahease STAHAHAHAP!"
Virgil's boyfriends finally let him go, and he curled in on himself with the remaining giggles filing out. The others awed at him in this vulnerable state and pulled him into their laps as Virgil calmed down and stretched out across them. Virgil fell asleep happily as Patton scratched his head, Roman on his side and back, and Logan on his upper thigh, all providing soothing, relaxing, and loving sensations. It was then that Virgil realized how much he loved the men that he was gaining attention from, and he never wanted to lose then or let them go, nor was he going anywhere.
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thursday
(hahahaha. yeah. this was just meant to be a buch of fluffy snipets. im the worst of the best of the worst. seriously tho. this was done in under 24 hours and im quite pleased on how it turned out.) tags: @idkanameatall
next part- a guide to the other side pt 1
warnings: angst, blood, dismemberment. vilolance. gore. (oops) words:7234
- what starts of as a normal collection of stories turns into a very much so angsty short cause authur cant write anything esle apparently at three in the morning.-
won't wear makeup on Thursday I'm sick of covering up I'm tired of feeling so broken I'm tired of falling in love
Janus looked around the imagination he had been wondering around here for hours now. He liked to explore and see if the twins had created anything new for him to travel around. so far it seemed as if nothing had really changed. A few new creatures but that was it.
These expeditions he did come with once small issue. Trying to not get caught. He wasn’t exactly on anyone’s good list at the minuet so if they saw him here the chances of them thinking he was up to something was much higher.
Oh, the joys of being the final dark side. Why did he think that revealing his name would actually let Thomas accept him?
He let out a small chuckle and continued his way forwards. Kicking a small rock in the process.
He smiled as he came across a small clearing. This had been one of the few places that seemed to never change for some reason. The grass was always knee length; the sun hit the land perfect for basking in. there was a small stream that cut down the centre. tall ruins sat either side.
Now what there want normally was the sound of chattering. He paused and hid behind the nearest tree to the edge. he peaked his head around too see the sides. All of them standing looking around nervously. “are you sure he will be here?” “I’m sure, I’ve seen him here every Wednesday for the past month.”
Janus stared from behind the tree. He looked down to what he was wearing. They probably thought he would wear the heavy, black pieces of clothing he normally did.
Instead right now he was in a yellow top, black shorts and Virgil’s old hoodie. A dark grey beanie was there instead of the bowler hat.
He sighed to himself and walked forwards. All their heads turning to him. “next time, don’t watch someone if they’re wanting privacy.” He glared at roman.
They all shifted uncomfortably. “well, I was wondering why you keep coming back to this place of the imagination.” “I’m part snake, I’m sure someone with a single braincell could figure out why.”
Logan seemed to freeze at his words before something seemed to flick in his mind, “snakes tend to bask in the sun due to being cold blooded reptiles.”
I chuckled as he spoke, sounding almost like an exited puppy, “indeed Logan. Indeed.”
I walked past them, ignoring the looks I was being given. “cold blooded?” Patton asked. “basically, his blood slows quicker than ours in the cold due to us being warm blooded. Without some source of heat in cold weather he can easily become lethargic.”
The others looked at Logan and then back at Janus who had begun to start climbing the ‘old’ ruins. Thoughts turned in their heads. “well…since were here we might as well enjoy the place? Right.” Patton said smiling. “very well,” Logan began, “but I suggest doing something quiet.” He said point up to Janus who was now at one of the highest places on the ruins facing the sun. they all smiled, Virgil and roman trying to keep theirs hidden. They hadn’t seen him looking so peaceful before.
Sometimes I'm shy and I'm anxious Sometimes I'm down on my knees Sometimes I try to embrace All my insecurities
It had been a week since then. And something he had quickly realised was that the mind palace had felt a lot warmer. He was both confused and mildly thankful for due to the autumn weather settling around.
It had been around a month since he had been accepted by Thomas, meaning the dark sides were no more. It didn’t stop him getting upset when the others compared him to villains in shows or bringing up his scales.
On this particular day, he hadn’t been in the best mood. Sleep still having a grasp on him, but he needed to get things done. So, he sat in his room. With Christmas a couple months away, Thomas was hoping to be able to get an idea of what his friends wanted by secretly asking questions. the cold had slowly seeped into his room.
So right now, he was wrapped up in several thick blankets in the corner of his room underneath is heat lamp. A notebook and pen in hand. Nothing had been written, and he needed to get something down soon.
He growled down at the notebook and flung it across the room. Pulling the blankets further up and leaning against the wall in his fluffy burrito. The nest of blankets and pillows surrounding him like a hug.
It had been the knock on the door that made him realise he had fallen asleep. “come in,” he said. Barely audible.
He looked up to see a blurry person peaking their head in the door. He was able to tell who it was easily though. “good morning Patton,” he rubbed his eyes and let out a yawn. “I think you mean afternoon. I brought you dinner.”
Patton made his way over to the other and placed the plate down on the desk opposite the pile of comfort. Not even realising he had relaxed at the heat that was coming form the lamp.
“evening? But it was barely the morning when I woke up.” Janus said looking down at the note book that lay at the other end of the room. Still where it laded after being thrown. “sometimes its good to take breaks kiddo. You can’t overwork yourself and expect anything to happen. When was the last time you slept?” Patton said looking at the almost black bags under the deceitful eyes, rivalling Virgil’s eyeshadow.
“um… Tuesday I think?” “that was three days ago kiddo!” Patton exasperated.
The other looked down guiltily. Tucking himself under the blankets. Hiding from the disappointed dad look. he heard a small sigh, “common kiddo. Eat and the go back to sleep. Ill send someone to check on you later? Okay.”
I gave a nod and looked up to see him smiling. He moved the plate of food closer and ruffled my hair before leaving.
Eating the plate of food quickly, Janus wrapped himself into a cocoon and closed his eyes. The soft hum o the lamp lulling him into a peaceful slumber.
And if Remus came in later to check on the other, only to see him in the pile of blankets lightly snoring. He didn’t say anything, just picking the plate up, summoning another couple blanket’s and adding them to the pile before leaving with a wild grin on his face.
So I won't wear makeup on Thursday 'Cause who I am is enough
He was pacing back and forth in the commons. Several thoughts had begun to run through his head. He had been pretty calm this morning about what was happening, but now he was beginning to have second thoughts… he wasn’t surprised when Virgil walked into the room to see him almost drilling a line in the floor from how long he had been walking back and forth muttering.
“you okay dee?” he muttered.
Janus snapped his head up, “fine, dandy, perfect,” he hissed before going back to pacing back and forth.
Virgil looked at Janus worriedly. It had been his nervousness that had led the other down. Several thoughts went through his head before he sighed and walked up the stairs and knocked on the obnoxious red and green pained door.
The door burst open revealing a very colourfully painted roman. Half of his usual attire bursting with colours of paint. Even his face was smothered with colour. Virgil snickered for a couple seconds. “may I ask why you are here brad pitiful?” “I’m here for Remus,” he deadpanned at the other.
Upon hearing his name Remus seemingly apparated behind roman. He too was covered in paint. “what do you need emo?” “Janus is overthinking something again and I’m not handling this. I’m grabbing Logan as well.”
“why us” “you’re all dating. He’s your boyfriend. And anyway, he looks like he could use a hug.”
Quickly snapping his fingers so that the paint was removed from his clothing, Remus raced down the hall and flung himself down the stairs the couple of thuds indicating where he had begun to roll down.
He moved his feet over to Logan’s door, knocking lighter, knowing the other would hear it over whatever he was doing. the door opened revealing the logical side still in his unicorn onesie despite it almost being lunch. “go comfort your boyfriend. He’s overthinking again. I’m not dealing with this one.”
Quickly snapping his fingers, he changed into his normal outfit. But what surprised Virgil was the thin hoodie that also appeared. It was in Logan’s navy colour. as he walked down the hall and stairs, he saw the enlarged emblem on the back. He grinned to himself. Hoodie buddies.
When Logan arrived down the stairs, he saw Remus hugging Janus with his vice like grips and extra limbs in the form of the tentacles. He chuckled at them and made his way forwards to join the hug.
“is there room for another?” the other two nodded and he took the hoodie of placing it neatly on a chair. two black wings sprouting from his back.
The two sides hugged onto his sides and he used his wings like blankets as they hugged on the floor, using the sofa as back support. he smiled as he saw both of them slowly falling asleep, clinging onto his side. And there are many things that I could change so slightly But why would I succumb to something so unlike me I was always taught to just be myself Don't change for anyone
Janus sat in the kitchen with Logan. It was around one in the morning; Remus had fallen asleep snoring loudly on the floor next to them.
It was that time of week where Janus would help Logan preen his wings. they were beautiful to Janus. A pretty colour of black, however the closer you got, you could tell the bottom feathers were just a very dark shade of blue. he wasn’t sure how long the other had had the wings for, but apparently the others didn’t know.
As they were finishing the right wing, he could hear a gasp and Logan cussing, causing him to looked up to see Patton standing there with wide eyes.
They stayed still and quiet. Other than Remus snoring away that was.
“well… this at least explains the hoodie.” Patton mumbled looking at Logan’s wings with curiosity. Logan just stared at the place Patton had been standing. The moral side had move over to the coubard and pulled out a glass.
“you’re not scared?” Logan asked looking at the other. “of course not!” Patton exclaimed, “look,” he lifted his onesie sleeve to reveal patches of green skin. “I’ve had these frog patches for years,” he began, “I was going to bring them up soon, but then didn’t say anything due to the Lilly Patton event that went down.”
Patton moved around them with a glass of water in hand. He quickly ruffled Logan’s hair, “if you think I don’t love your wings then you’d be incredibly wrong.”
After the incident, Logan had decided to stop hiding his wings as often. So that morning he had tied his soft hoodie around his waist, letting the wings stay out instead of covering them.
He quickly grabbed his glasses and the book that Remus had suggested to him. ‘the maze runner’ printed with a simple lettering on the front. so far, he had found it quite enjoyable and was thinking about asking for the rest of the series.
It was when he felt the tug n the air did, he has second thoughts about keeping his wings out. Too late now he supposed.
When he arrived, everything fell silent almost immediately. All eyes on him and his wings. He shifted nervously, slipping on the glasses so that he could see a bit better.
Much too his unfortunate luck, neither of his boyfriends were there. Nor was Virgil. “so, since when did specs have wings?” roman asked looking between Logan and the wings that sat behind the other.
“id rather not discuss that just now,” Logan said avoiding their gazes, “can we just get to the matter at hand. Thomas, can you fill me in?”
I wanna laugh, I don't wanna cry Don't want these tears inside my eyes, yeah Don't wanna wake up and feel insecure I wanna sing, I wanna dance I wanna feel love inside my hands again I just wanna feel beautiful
Janus woke to screaming. He didn’t know where it had come from until he looked over to see Remus thrashing around in his sleep. any sleep left in himself immediately went away. He reached over to the other. “Remus! Remus listen to me! I’m right here.”
The others eyes snapped open, inky black pools caused Janus to back away as quickly as possible. Remus was silent, panting to get his breath back.
Janus backed away as best as possible. Remus may have been a dark side. But their abilities didn’t just disappear. For example; when feeling threatened their eyes could turn into black abyss and their powers turned on tenfold.
Thomas was most likely going to suffer from a nightmare tonight.
Deeming himself far enough he looked at the other with worry, “Remus, sweetie, calm down, you’re okay. You’re here with me, Janus.”
Remus blinked once and twice. The black in his eyes seeping out in the form of tears. The green normal eyes coming back.
“Jannie?” Remus whispered so quietly that it was almost inaudible. “I’m here, I’m going to come closer, okay?”
Remus gave a small nod, keeping his eyes locked on Janus as he edged his way forwards.
As soon as he reached Remus’s side he was pulled into a crushing hug, but immediately hugged back despite the slight pain. they stayed like that for a while longer when there was a knock on the door. the door slowly creaked open to reveal Virgil, Janus quickly ushered him in. Logan peaked his head in as well and made his way forwards to the group. Virgil and Janus seemed to have a mental conversation between themselves.
“Remus, was it him.”
Logan looked at Janus, hoping he would explain. That was shut off as soon as Remus froze still. It seemed as if that was all that needed to be said.
“Logan. You’re coming with me. We need to get everyone in here now.” He spoke quickly, summoning his crook.
A flash of purple later and Virgil handed Janus a small dagger, “stay safe. Were going to need you in one piece for this. Okay.”
Logan stood up frustrated, “were not doing something until you explain what is happening!” he almost yelled.
Virgil nodded slowly to Janus. “you called us dark sides. You called us evil once upon a time. There’s a reason we all hated being called the villain.” He paused looking Logan dead in the eyes, sending a chill down his spine, “but you didn’t know that there was something far worse than us.” “what, what was worse?” “the nightmares. The darkest parts of Thomas that me and Virgil have kept hidden. And for good reason. Now one of them is loose.”
Logan’s eyes went wide. Processing all that was said. A blue flash and a shield in Logan’s arms. A small snapping sound and a couple gears filled the air for a couple seconds before the shield turned into a crossbow.
Logan quickly loaded it before nodding and following Janus out of the room. Oh-oh-oh, oh ah Oh-oh-oh, oh ah Oh-oh-oh, I just wanna feel beautiful
He realised how much trouble they were in quickly. As soon as they left the room the hall was filled with a small orange mist that blanketed the hall, hiding his feet. the once white walls were covered in black vines, sprouting orange flowers that seemed to be the source of mist, acting like waterfalls.
Patton’s door was the furthest. A growl filled their ears. “shit,” Janus whispered rushing to Patton’s door. Banging as hard as possible to wake the other.
He could hear shifting, but the sound of the guttural growl was growing closer, his dread began to spike. Logan was behind him, keeping the crossbow locked where the noise was coming from.
Patton opened his door and rubbed sleep out of his eyes, “Janus what are you doing up so early?” he looked behind the other to see Logan. And then the hall itself. “I don’t have much time to explain. But I need you to get into my room. Virgil and Remus will explain.”
He gave a quick nod before he heard the growl and freezing. “go!” he whispered harshly.
They slowly backed away, making their way to romans room. They could hear Patton entering Janus’s room and shutting the door behind.
Two orange eyes appeared from the blackness of the end of the hall. Janus knocked on the door. The eyes following his every move, glaring at him with malice no one could ever replicate.
“Remus what- “he paused as he saw Janus, “may I ask why you’re up at this ungodly hour.” “go into my room, the others will explain. But right now, you’re in danger.” “I can defend myself.” He said summoning his sword in a flash of red.
The growl appeared again. Romans face paled. “go to my room and stay there. Understand?”
Roman nodded and left down the hall, “you too sweet heart,” Janus stared keeping his eyes on the black abyss. “no. I’m not leaving you here.”
Janus turned to Logan with eyes filled with guilt. As soon as Logan looked into his own, his eyes flashed yellow. “forgive me my crow, but I need you to go into my room and wait half an hour then snap out of this,”
Logan turned and walked into the room.
The creature growled staring at Janus. “its just us two now wrath. Just. Us.” Janus growled, bringing out his extra limbs, his canines becoming fangs. Eyes becoming black pools of ink. His scales either turning black or glowing a beautiful deadly shade of yellow
“how about a dance,” he growled animalistically, baring his fangs further before rushing towards the mist.
I wear my sweat pants on Thursday And I'll drink sloe gin from a can I'll build my own independence I don't always need a man You know sometimes I feel lonely Could do with the company
Virgil sighed as Patton entered the room. smiled when roman came in. and panicked when Logan came in, eyes glowing yellow in the dark. The door audibly clicking behind.
He stood up and pounded on the door. “JANUS OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR! OPEN THE DOOR!” he pounded even more. his panic only grew until he was throwing his entire weight on the door. It didn’t budge.
He gasped for breath. Tears falling from his eyes. “Virgil?” Patton rested an arm on his shoulder. “he’s going to die…he’s going to die…” he mumbled over and over again, pressing his hands on his hears.
“listen emo, we need to know what’s going on. Please explain.” Roman said as calmly as possible. “that’s wrath. He’s…” Virgil’s voice cracked, “it’s easier if I’m to show you, just. Please don’t scream?”
Patton and roman nodded. Logan stood stoic looking at the wall. He was under Janus’s control. There was nothing they could do until he snapped out.
Virgil removed his hoodie placing it on the end of Janus’s bed where Remus was sleeping away his exhaustion.
He let out as sigh as he felt the extra limbs appear on his back, the eyes that he had hidden snapped open. Two purple glowing eyes above the ones that were already there, spider legs on his back.
They gasped as they looked on. Where six spider legs should have been were three. Two missing on the left and one on the right. “he was merciless when we first fought. We barely contained him together. Let alone by ourselves.”
He could feel the stumps on his back. The phantom pain of them being sapped like twigs radiated faintly. “can’t you just regenerate?” roman asked looking in curiosity. “no. if it was Remus who did it. I could. But those…things, that creature. Wrath? If he hurts you, Thomas’s mind acts as if it was an injury on any normal person.”
Logan gasped as the yellow of his eyes began to flicker and fade. “nononono- “Logan muttered as he realised where he was. His time perception being clear as day, “he’s hurt, he need help,”
He walked over to the door. Virgil rushed over and stopped Logan. The other turned around with tears in his eyes. “we can’t do anything yet. We need to recuperate as much as I want to go out there and help Janus. We can’t. Not until Remus is awake.”
Logan broke down into tears. Virgil held onto him tightly as possible, wrapping his extra limbs around the other. “ I know, I’m scared or him too. I freaked when I didn’t see him come in behind you, but if I had broken down the door. We would be caught off guard and I could have gotten everyone here hurt.” “half an hour, he said to wait that long before snapping. He’s hurt. I should still be in his control,” he sobbed into the others shoulder, grasping on like it was a lifeline, “my sunflower could be de- “
“no. no we can’t think that far,” Patton cut him off. “but we can still plan.” Roman continued, “Virgil, any ideas?”
Oh, I get high when I'm down But you know that's alright with me So I will do nothing on Thursday Sit alone and be
Cold… pure cold was the first thing Janus felt upon waking. The pain. Searing pain coming from his human eye. He began to choke as he took a breath in.
He sat up and coughed into his hand, blood spluttering out as he did so. Then came the realisation that as he looked down, he couldn’t see out of his eye. he was flooded with fear, cold and pain. He shivered. Feeling his shirt sticking to his back, stuck by drying blood. the metallic taste and smell filled his other senses.
He was aware of footsteps walking towards him. He tried to stand up. but as soon as he was barely off the floor, he collapsed back down onto his knees. Any energy he had before he was dragged here had depleted. his ribs began to ache. Everything was growing heavy, like lead chains had been placed on every muscle.
“well…well…well… the snake is awake,” the voice froze every piece of his being. he didn’t respond. Just staring at the person who was crouched down several feet in front of him. a black lab coat, his skin was pale and cracked. No eyes, but flowers blooming from his eye sockets. A surgical mask covered his mouth, orange gas leaking out the sides.
A white button up smeared with blood. Black sleek shoes matched his ripped jeans.
Janus stared at the figure. The form had been one that could make any shiver under its gaze.
He walked forwards, a small shiny object in hand. Janus’s eye widened and he pushed himself backwards.
He let out a scream.
And there are many things that I could change so slightly But why would I succumb to something so unlike me I was always taught to just be myself Don't change for anyone
They had been looking in the misty halls for two days. It had been a fruitless endeavour so far. They tracked onwards still… Logan hadn’t said a word since… Patton and roman clung to one another… Remus began muttering ways they could kill wrath under is breath… Virgil… he tried his best to sense the others fear. But nothing had appeared so far. So, there was no clear direction of where they could go.
So, when he felt it. The overwhelming terror… he froze like ice. “Virgil? What is it! Is he okay?” “n…no… we need to hurry. I can’t track it. Whatever has him. His fear is overwhelming. I can’t trace it.”
Logan nodded and began to speed up in the direction they were going. Remus jogged over and took his free hand. His mace ready to strike anything that could potentially be there to hurt them.
A small light came into view. They looked between one another and rushed forwards.
Gods they wished they were ready to see what they did. A clear glass jar… a familiar brown eye with yellow pigments…
The level of threat they were faced against set into them quicker than lightning turning sand to glass.
Virgil paled. Not because of the eye. His vision became blurry and he grabbed onto his ears gasping in pain. he could hear the scream. He could hear Janus’s fear echoing everywhere.
And he blacked out.
Logan was the first to look over to Virgil, he was gasping in pain. Covering his ears and whimpering. Something was wrong with sunflower… worse than what the eye could show…
Then he stopped shaking. His limbs slinking down to his side, he pushed himself of the ground. Limbs moving in an eerie way, like a puppet on a string.
His eyes widened as he saw the inky blackness of Virgil’s eyes. His teeth becoming long and sharp. His spider legs grew tenfold… the gaps where the others should have been, phantom ones, in a purple glow replaced them.
Patton reached his hand out. Only to be stopped by one of Remus’s tentacles. “to put it simply, he’s snapped. Whatever pain Janus is in has caused his mind to shut down and his animalistic senses have taken over. His pain was too much, so we should also prepare for whatever state we see janny in. okay?”
Virgil began to move, walking further and further; he used his spider legs instead of his normal. they followed. If he was following Janus’s fear then they could find him quickly.
It was when he broke out into a run that things got hard. Patton couldn’t go on for very much longer, roman stayed with him for protection.
Logan grabbed Remus and let his wings out. And soon they were keeping up with Virgil. I wanna laugh, I don't wanna cry Don't want these tears inside my eyes, yeah Don't wanna wake up and feel insecure I wanna sing, I wanna dance I wanna feel love inside my hands again I just wanna feel beautiful
He wanted it to stop. the searing pain was too much. wrath had left already, taking one of Janus’s legs with him. Crudely cut and to never grow back. he cried, he cried out of pain… he cried out of loneliness and his own stupidity. the sound of the quiet was deafening. He didn’t know if it had been taken from him too… he wanted to scream. He to scream so loud that his vocal cords burst. He wanted to be warm
To bask in the sun in the imagination. to have Patton worry about him. to bicker back and forth with roman. to sing loud music with Virgil …to kiss his boyfriends on the lips…
Would he be able to do any of that again? Would he be able to say that he loved them all…?
Would he survive? He would push himself to do so. If not for him. Then for his ivy and bluebell… god he would survive for them…
A small fire lit in heart. He just hoped his fear didn’t extinguish it… Oh-oh-oh, oh ah Oh-oh-oh, oh ah Oh-oh-oh, I just wanna feel beautiful Oh-oh-oh, oh ah Oh-oh-oh, oh ah Oh-oh-oh, I just wanna feel beautiful
When Virgil stopped, he seemed to look around the area sporadically. they landed not too far from him. Making their way over. The metallic smell filling their noses. And they knew exactly where it was coming from. blood splattered almost everywhere. A couple shoe prints and a streak of blood following…as if… Logan and Remus held each other closer. Virgil turned to face them; he could sense their fear. It was light but enough to know that they were worried. He could keep track of them. But right now, he needed to find that bastard and turn him into spider food.
They followed the track to a cage. Orange and glowing. but that hadn’t been the first thing they had seen… no. it was the person sitting on a vine throne, the orange flowers producing the smoke…
They each got ready to attack the side- no… monster in front of them.
“ah, it seems I didn’t hide the soon to be corpse as well as id hoped,” wrath sighed staring at them.
He stood up and walked behind the throne. Logan ever so slightly lowered his crossbow as his eyes widened in pure shock and horror. A clearly severed leg laid in wraths hand. Patches of scales confirmed his suspicions.
He raised the crossbow and began to aim. “ah…so you must be logic? Am I right?” wrath began, “I must admit its been a long time since I’ve seen you, Virgil and Remus… all four of us together. Just like old times eh?”
Logan fired the trigger, the arrow pierced through into wraths arm. He let out a hiss of pain.
“shut up with the villain’s monologue. They aren’t like you. They can show compassion. You… you’re just insane.” He growled, watching a glowing bolt load itself into his bow.
He aimed again and fired. This time wrath was able to avoid, seeing as he knew it was coming. but when wrath turned back. One of them wasn’t there.
He turned around, only to get a spider leg jabbed side, taking it open like a knife through air.
Remus watched as wrath tore his medical mask off and let the orange mist consume his body, the gas slowly became a black liquid. As it rose, they backed off as best as they could.
A pair of glowing orange eyes stared at them from the abyss…
The black abyss lunged at them. they snapped out the way, splitting and running in every direction they could. Avoiding the black sludge that slammed behind them. Wrath let out a roar so loud the room seemed to shake.
Logan spread his wings and took to the sky, catching a glimpse of what lay inside the cage and paling as he did so. He needed to get Janus out of there. Fast if he were to survive.
He dived down towards the sludge, kicking with his feet. The beats roared and sent a ball of black sludge towards him. He narrowly dodged it before another one came sailing past. Just clipping the end of his feathers.
“he in there!” Logan yelled, catching the others attention. they gave a quick nod in response.
Remus focused on trying to get to the thing’s eyes. Blinding him would give them an advantage. Virgil was keeping busy, stabbing any sludge that got to close.
The sound of running caught their attention, turning around to see Patton and roman. it didn’t take either too long to realise what was happening. roman quickly summoned his sword and made his way over to his brother as quickly as possible.
Patton stared for a couple seconds before he felt his body shifting into lily-Patton. he rushed over and began to help Virgil.
With the four of them keeping wrath busy, Logan had a clear shot to get to the cage. he avoided the occasional attack on him, twirling and diving to avoid any rouge projectiles.
He landed at the edge of the cage and slipped into the far too wide bars. he rushed over to Janus and scooped him into his arms. Quickly looking over to check that there weren’t more major injuries. And other than the scratches on his back and possibly broken ribs. There wasn’t anything more than a couple bruises and tiny scrapes.
Lifting him up and keeping him close as possible, he dove out of the cage and glided as best as he could down to the others.
Remus turned to face Logan as he saw the other with the familiar figure in his arms. His own face paling as he saw just how bad Janus looked. anger filled his veins and he began to spew every way he was going to kill wrath.
His eyes turning into their own inky abyss. The tentacles on his back grew further until they were w=twice the length they had previously been. His teeth becoming sharp like rows upon rows of toothpicks.
An unholy screech ripped from his throat. Everything seemed to freeze for everyone in that moment as he ran and using the tentacles pushing himself into the air and throwing himself into the black abyss of what was wrath.
Wrath let out a howl of pain, neon green tentacles shot out of his inky body. Ripping through it like paper before a figure was flung out. Not Remus’s but wrath.
He fell to the ground, limp as a ragdoll. The inky body dissipated into an orange smoke, rising up to the sky.
Wrath groaned and stood up. snapping his arm back into place he cackled wildly looking at them. The flowers in his eye sockets looked completely battered.
“do you honestly thing you can defeat me- “he stopped and looked down. There by his feet, biting into his leg was what looked like a snake.
Logan turned to look at Janus. His scales glowing a beautiful yellow.
He mumbled something almost inaudibly, but whatever it was, it heard him and I slithered away. and then from behind wrath, two yellow eyes lit up the area, he turned around and couldn’t even let out a noise or move before the snake, almost the size of a house, the length seemed to go on forever, bit down. Snapping like a turtle. And like that wrath was gone.
They all held their breath as it slithered away… then turning to Janus who was mumbling deliriously under his breath.
The black in the room fading away to a pure white. The blood that was forming around Janus becoming slowly bigger.
I won't wear makeup on Thursday 'Cause who I am is enough
Virgil’s and Remus looked at one another letting a couple of bizarre noises out before the black inkiness of their eyes finally becoming their normal, green and purples.
“what… what happened?” Virgil groaned as he rubbed his temples. A headache slowly coming on. “we need to get Janus help. Now.” Logan said. Remus looked down to his boyfriend and immediately scooped him up in his arms.
He looked at the others and began to make their way as quickly as possible towards the direction they had come from.
Janus melted into the warmth… he was in the arms of someone… but he knew the warm loving touch… he could hear people talking around him. he whimpered as they lifted him up… and then his vision went black.
They all sat in Logan’s room. Janus was resting on his bed. Bandages covered his eyes. blood no longer covered his hair or face. He was sleeping peacefully. Everyone in the room hadn’t spoken a word since they patched him up as best as they could before dealing with any injury’s they may have sustained. “Virgil, Remus can I ask you something?” Patton muttered. “yeah, what do you need pops?” Remus responded. “are there more…sides like wrath?” Patton saw the flinch from Virgil, “please be honest. If we know, we can prepare in case something like this is to happen again.”
“two. There are two more,” Virgil blurted out. “who are they?” roman asked. “depression and repression.”
Logan, Patton and roman looked between each other. “thank you for telling us,” Logan weakly smiled.
They would wait to deal with any of that for now.
He woke up on something soft. Several blankets wrapped around him. His breathing was more even he found which was something he was very much so thankful for. “sunflower? Can you hear me?” a voice spoke, filtering through something that covered his… why was something on his face? where was he… what happened? “bluebell… what happened? Why can I see?” he could feel the other freeze at his side. Logan knew he couldn’t say anything false. So, he decided the truth would be best. “wrath. He…got you.” Janus could feel things snapping in place in his mind. “he’s…gone?” “for good. No longer a person. Only a figment.” Logan said.
Janus laughed but stopped as he entered a coughing fit. Pain racked over his chest. Wheezing when it finally came to a stop. “how long was I out for lo?” Jan asked a he laid back “…three weeks…were not sure how much longer we can hide this from Thomas.”
Janus stayed quiet. He turned his head to face where I thought Logan was, “can…can you gather the others and Thomas? I want to know their okay.” “but you still need to recover more.” “please, Logan please. I need to know the other are alive.”
He felt the other run a hand in his hair, “okay. Just sleep for now. Ill wake you up when I’ve gathered them.” I wanna laugh, I don't wanna cry Don't want these tears inside my eyes, yeah Don't wanna wake up and feel insecure I wanna sing, I wanna dance I wanna feel love inside my hands again I just wanna feel beautiful
Logan looked down at his sunflower. Bandages covered his eyes, his scales shifting from black to yellow. the sheet that covered him showed the dent where his leg should have been… he sighed to himself and stood up. the others would be exited to know he was awake for a while.
The corridor had restored itself back to normal. It had taken a week though. Logan wondered down to the commons. There in a pile watching another Disney movie was everyone piled up together. Patton turned around and caught Logan coming closer. “is something wrong with Janus?” “no… he actually woke up.” A sigh of relief swept through the room. Each one of them seemed to visibly relax. “but, he wants to see everyone. Including Thomas.”
They all froze. Looking back and forth between one another. “we can’t hide this. If it was one of his extra limbs that wasn’t there, we could hide it. But were talking about his missing eye and leg. He will want to know what happened.” “we just say that a side he didn’t know about went nuts?” “no, he may still want to meet the side. If that happens then he could potentially come back.”
“how about we just say that stuff went down and, in the end, we came out alive and were okay?” everyone seemed to ponder Virgil’s words before nodding.
Logan appeared in Thomas’s living room in his place by the stairs. Thomas looked over from where he was standing. His eyes went wide as he saw the state the other side was in. hair flung practically everywhere and his tie looser than normal. “Logan are you, all right?” he asked worriedly. “Janus wants to see you. Were all going to be out here in a couple minutes. And I need to say, you will have lots of questions. But its best you don’t know the truth just yet.” He sighed. “why?” Thomas asked. “if you were to know, the danger could come back.”
Thomas nodded. Knowing he couldn’t push further just yet. Logan looked like… well… he had seen dumpster fires that looked better.
Logan sighed before sinking down.
And just as he said, a couple minuets later they stared to pop up in their places. roman and Remus by the tv, Patton by the window and Virgil by the stairs.
The Logan appeared with Janus and he stared in horror. Bandages covered the deceitful sides eyes. He was barely standing as he clung onto Logan, the stump of his leg was still wrapped neatly, looking as if it was done by a professional.
“Janus?” Thomas muttered looking over at the side with so much emotion. “Thomas? Is that you?” he muttered back. “yeah, I’m here buddy, so is everyone else. I’m not sure what happened. But know that were all okay.” Janus seemed to relax into Logan upon hearing everyone was okay. “yeah were okay sunflower” Remus said with as much happiness as he could muster. “were safe,” Virgil said looking up at the other.
“wish I could see you guys,” Janus muttered into Logan’s shoulder. “wait a while longer okay? We’ll still be here. We promise.” Paton said looking at the other with guilt ridden eyes.
A light snoring noise caused everyone to chuckle as they realised that Janus had fallen asleep. Logan moved the other and picked him up bridal style. “I’ll take him back to his room to rest for a while.” “I’ll come too,” Remus said as he sunk out along with the other two.
Virgil rested his head on the staircase banister small tears pouring out of his eyes in relief. Patton looked down to his shoes. roman walked over to Patton and wrapped him in a hug.
Thomas just stared at where Janus was. The image of the other burned into his retina and brain. “what… what did that to him?” he whispered.
He didn’t get a response. he turned around and sat on the couch. Rubbing his temple. He looked around to see his sides barely keeping themselves together. whatever did that to Janus… was it apart of him? “was it a side…” Thomas muttered. the others froze and turned to face him. “we can’t confirm. If we did it may come back. Just know that it is gone.”
Thomas nodded and walked over to the stairs and sat next to Virgil.
Oh-oh-oh, oh ah Oh-oh-oh, oh ah Oh-oh-oh, I just wanna feel beautiful Oh-oh-oh, oh ah Oh-oh-oh, oh ah Oh-oh-oh, I just wanna feel beautiful
It was December before things went remotely back to normal both in the mind palace and the real world. Janus had the bandages removed around two months ago. His cat eye looked around the now festive looking house. His shepherds crook helping him keep balance along with the prosthetic made by Logan and Remus helped him stand and walk.
He could feel the feeling in the air and followed it to Thomas in the living room. “you okay for doing some filming today? We’re doing a Christmas special with everyone.” Patton asked excitedly.
Janus smiled Widley. A pure warmth coming from inside. “I would very much like to. Logan, Remus and I also have an announcement for the video as well,”
His hand behind his back fiddled with a small golden band that rested on a finger.
“what’s up everybody!” Thomas began…
Yeah… they were going to be okay for now. He smiled joyfuly over to the camera.
#Janus sanders#Roman sanders#Sander sides#thomas sanders#Virgil sanders#logan sanders#remus sanders#patton sanders#janus angst#logan angst#gore warning#blood#dismemberment#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#vilolance#lots of angst#enjoy this peice of trash!#i need an impulse control#i want a nap but im not going to take one#i did this in under 24 hours and im close to loosing my shit#my impulse control is my girlfriend
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