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occultbooks · 3 days ago

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no one asked but here are my favorite passages from all of my oneshots on ao3. gonna put a link to this post in my pinned + update it regularly as my version of a portfolio.

[Sep 8 2020] R is for Roy - Maurice Moss/Roy Trenneman (The IT Crowd)

Moss thought about that. "I dunno. Labels help me figure things out, but I can see why you don't like them. They sort of put you in a box, don't they? You wouldn't like it in a box, I wouldn't like it in jail. We're similar in that way, aren't we? Anyway, I could just keep you filed under R," he smiled.

[Oct 21 2020] Please Don't Touch Me - Jared Dunn/Richard Hendricks (Silicon Valley)

The water cascaded over him, drowning out every sound and every thought, the bathroom light like a sole streetlamp at the end of a dark cul-de-sac. He’d left the fan off so the steam would blind him. He sat on the shower floor, his head in his hands. He didn’t know why he was crying so much. Not that he thought crying was a bad thing, because he knew it wasn’t, but he didn’t know why the simple thought of Richard made him so sad. All he wanted was to help him, to understand him, and he couldn’t even do that. He felt absolutely powerless.

[Jan 20 2021] you just forgot your one pet name for me - Dinesh Chugtai/Bertram Gilfoyle (Silicon Valley)

”hey. dinesh.” he said to the mirror. practicing. he’d never done that before, at least not to prepare a talk with dinesh. “how’s it going, babe?” that word felt wrong in his mouth. it wasn’t a thing he wanted to say. he said it over and over but it was still uncomfortable. he couldn’t use “darling,” because jared said that to richard all the time. the last thing gilfoyle wanted to do was turn into jared. ugh. “doll” was just too 50s. he didn’t want to say “honey,” or “sweetie.” those were too lovey for a casual conversation to begin with. fuck it, who cares.

[Jun 6 2021] MCBC and the Rambling Robot - The MC Bat Commander/Jimmy the Robot (The Aquabats! Super Show!)

The Commander was more interested in science in concept than he was in practicality. He liked explosions and chemical reactions and...explosions! When Jimmy started talking about what all the little gears and gizmos do, internal hardware and whatnot, the Commander often tuned it out. He would just stare and stare and stare at Jimmy, almost longingly. The way he got all exasperated when asked about science stuff. How his eyes would (literally) light up with excitement. How happy he seemed, just to be sharing his knowledge with someone else. The good vibes and energies were so nice to just sit there and soak in.

[Oct 2 2021] Helping Out in the Lab - Egon Spengler/Ray Stantz (Ghostbusters)

“How long have you been wanting to do that for, Spengs?” Ray asked softly. “Do you want honesty or something that sounds sane?” Ray mulled it over. “Honesty. Please and thank you.” “The first day we met.” “When we first met…at the university,” Ray stifled a laugh, grinning, and looked up at the ceiling. “How about that, eh?” Egon blushed again. More silence, the buzzing of fluorescent bulbs horribly apparent in Egon’s head, but he was too lost in the sound of his own heartbeat to care.

[Oct 4 2021] I Need You to Breathe For Me - Egon Spengler/Ray Stantz (Ghostbusters)

The most terrifying thing known to mankind is the unforeseen consequential altering of previously fixed objectives and other consistencies. Or, at least, this is the most terrifying thing known to Egon. In other words, this is the changing of things that seemed, even if illogically so, safe and unchanging; such as, one losing something sentimental and meaningful.

[Jan 29 2022] The Questions of Who and Why - Egon Spengler/Ray Stantz (Ghostbusters)

“Spengs!?” Ray didn’t mean to sound so bemused, but it wasn’t often that he saw Egon outside of work. They’d known each other since college, and Ray wasn’t entirely sure that Egon didn’t still live on campus. But here he was, in the dead of night. Ray, realizing this wasn’t as much of a big deal as he was convinced it was, let out a frustrated breath. He motioned with his hand. “Get inside, it’s freezing out!” Egon obliged. Much like a vampire, Egon wasn’t one to enter a house without being invited in, even if he’d been in said house before, and was given express permission to barge in whenever he liked. “Don’t send a Spengler to do a Venkman’s job,” Ray liked to joke. Once inside, true to form, Egon waited until Ray gave him permission to “make yourself at home” before sitting down. From the kitchen, he called, “You want anything to drink?”

[March 4 2022] Starfish - Egon Spengler/Ray Stantz (Ghostbusters)

Ray pressed his forehead to Egon’s in a reassuring way. Ray was never very good at clear verbal communication on an intimate level, and when it came to expressions of appreciation, or love, most of the time he just seized up. He loved Egon so dearly, and he wished he could say all the things that were in his head; all the things he knew Egon needed to hear. But his mind was either scrambled to no end, or it felt completely blank. He felt guilty about it, because logically, if he talked so much anyway, it should be easy. He only wished it was. Sometimes, all he could really do to show Egon how much he cared was to hold him. In Egon’s head, that was enough.

[May 5 2022] Last Kiss - Egon Spengler/Ray Stantz (Ghostbusters)

The way Egon looked at him was enough to make Ray crumble to the ground. His heart pounded in his chest, and he felt young again. In his 20s, when him and Egon had met, their studies were the only things they were supposed to be concerned with. They would meet in each other’s dorms, narrowly avoiding Ray’s nuisance roommate, and help each other prepare for tests. Soon enough, it changed. It all changed because Ray caught Egon looking at him in the way he tended to do. Knowing that he’d never be looked at like that again, Ray became somber, and the fleeting lonesome feeling filled his heart again. The look so filled with admiration that it was almost an out-of-body experience. The look that made the insecurities disappear and reappear with fluctuating frequency. The look that made him think, “This face? This body? This soul? You want me?” but allowed every question mark to melt when Egon’s hand brushed his arm. In his isolated months, Ray’s self-image had no doubt deteriorated back to that time. Even with a hand on his face, he felt himself thinking, “This old face? This old body? This old soul? You want me?”

[May 25 2022] now it's sweat, it's sweat now - Egon Spengler/Ray Stantz (Ghostbusters)

In my thoughts, a swirl of colors surrounds me. I am an abstract concept within myself, and Egon, who sits adjacent to me in my reality, is surrounding me on every side, watching me with a million eyes. I want to be his only objective. A primal urge rushes through me and I feel overwhelmed, though I am sitting still. A muddled tango of feeling, literally proverbial, yet conceptually literal, as the figures in my mind dance around my stand-in and become more distorted, until they are inky black snakes slithering towards me. I feel shame, and abandonment; not that it has happened, but that it could. Where it is all coming from, I cannot place, but I cannot make it stop. My mind and heart race in syncopation until I’m no longer sure I’m human.

[May 27 2022] conversations with a stone - Egon Spengler/Ray Stantz (Ghostbusters)

Eleven roses littered the ground, bruised by boots, sunken in soil. Petals were perturbed, stems were severed. A stone engraved; 8 digits and a name. No quote, no relatives, no “loved by many” messages. 8 digits and a name. No service was held for the man under the dirt, being eaten by the inhabitants of the home his body invaded. Leaves crunched beneath the shoes of a man who’d walked the same path almost a dozen times before. He approached the stone to greet it, to pretend he was speaking to the one lying beneath it, to continue maintaining some placebo of a connection. As he kneeled next to the grave, he felt his lip begin to tremble. 35 years ago, he was alive, and they talked every day. 15 years ago, he was alive, and they talked whenever possible. Two years ago, he was alive, and Ray should’ve called.

[Jul 31 2022] ray gets hurt and then other stuff happens - Egon Spengler/Ray Stantz (Ghostbusters)

But Egon said nothing. He leaned closer to Ray, clearly unsure of himself. Ray could feel his own heart beat, and he swore he could hear them both. Their noses almost touching, Egon breathed in softly, then let out a small nervous sigh as his eyes flew around Ray’s face, looking for any sign of discomfort so he could pass off what he was doing as something inconspicuous without verbal confrontation. He felt so pathetic; he was like a teenage boy with a crush on a girl, except he was a grown man, and Ray was not a girl, and these alterations to the trope formula only made him feel more terrified. After a beat, he said, “May I…” and then he forgot how to speak. He was paralyzed by the fear of rejection, and he didn’t want to finish the sentence. Egon hated feeling vulnerable; he thought Ray was vulnerable enough for the both of them. Now he felt as exposed as ever, like an outside dog during winter at night.

[Aug 27 2022] The After-Effects of Synthesized Positivity - Egon Spengler/Ray Stantz (Ghostbusters)

“I love you,” Ray responded earnestly. He’d said this a lot tonight: a couple times at the museum, a few times as they walked to the car, many times on the way home. But he hadn’t yet said it to Egon, alone. It was always “I love you guys,” “I love both of you,” “I love my friends.” A couple times, Egon had considered telling him to shut up. Not that he was jealous. Not that he would ever admit it if he was, which he wasn’t. Egon wasn’t jealous. He didn’t care that the attention wasn’t on him and him alone. He didn’t silently grit his teeth at the simple fact that Ray had enough love to go around, or that he enjoyed expressing this love. Egon was not jealous. He wasn’t. Not at all. Despite this, upon hearing the words, a palpable sense of adoration filled his chest, and his face was so warm he couldn’t blame it on the steam.

[Nov 19 2022] Feeling Lighter - Egon Spengler/Ray Stantz (Ghostbusters)

Ray held his trusty Zippo lighter in his hand. Old faithful. Sure, Bic lighters had become more common overtime, but why exchange comfort for style? He had closed all the windows. He didn’t want a Story of an Hour revelation. Though, this was unrealistic; nothing could change his disposition, no matter how retrospectively he stared at the sky. Another reason he closed the windows was that the urge to jump through one of them repeatedly was stronger than he cared to admit to even himself. What else could he do in solitude except to break every bone in his body trying to justify his survival? What else could he do now? Flick…flick. Open…closed. He glanced at the door that no one was going to walk through. He looked at the kitchen where no food would be made. There was no saving grace this time. Egon was dead. He couldn’t just take a cab home from the afterlife. Ray had been in the business long enough to know that much. Death is permanent. His leg bounced like he was waiting for something. Every sound he heard made his heart drop. He was an anxious dog lamely waiting for his owner’s return, even though it had been a year. He didn’t have a concept of time. Egon left just last week, right? He’ll come back, right? Flick, flick. Open, closed.

[Dec 22 2022] my job is to love you - Egon Spengler/Ray Stantz (Ghostbusters)

Egon could predict that Ray was going to get upset no matter what he said. “Raymond, I’m sorry for chastising you, but you’re behaving like a child.” “At least children have a future to look forward to!” Ray yelled, his voice breaking. “This is it for me! I’m stuck with this life!” And then the room became silent. The world stood still, as if it, as well as them, was waiting for one of them to walk out the door and never come back. But then, something shifted. Ray’s breath wavered as the echo of what he had said made its way off of the wall and into his brain. “I don’t…I didn’t mean that.” He whispered. “What am I saying?” Ray stared at his hands, unclenching his fists. Egon stood up, concerned. Ray covered his face with his hands, letting out choking sobs as he fell to the floor.

[Mar 3 2023] doesn't subtract from the fact that i love you for psychological reasons - Egon Spengler/Ray Stantz (Ghostbusters)

Maybe it was the way that Egon smelled. Like pages of a book, bathed in vanilla. Maybe it was the way his mouth tasted. Always like something sweet. Always. Maybe it was the way he gripped Ray’s neck like the scruff of a cat as they kissed, being careful not to hurt him while still being charmingly possessive. No matter what it was, Ray found it hard to act normal around Egon; it was nearly impossible. They’d only known each other for a year and a semester, but that was enough for Ray. His heart pounded in his chest, and it felt like high school all over again.

[Jul 5 2023] Bad Ending - Daniel Cain/Herbert West (Reanimator)

They were numbers on a sheet. Time stamps. Statistics. Limp, lifeless bodies. As Herbert looked out at the sea of those limp, lifeless bodies, he felt no guilt in his chest. No metaphorical blood on his hands. Only literal. His subconscious was colorblind as a greyhound, and he smelled only opportunity. The metal pipe at his feet was dented to oblivion, but still retained its shape. The man holding the pipe, dead on the ground, was not yet beyond recognition. His wounds – a gash across his stomach, scratches and bites in his arms and legs – were no longer gushing blood, yet the wide-eyed expression on his face screamed silently, as if he could still feel what was done to him. Herbert looked at him, feeling something unfamiliar creeping into himself and reverberating throughout his ribcage. His heart was beating hard and uncomfortably as he knelt down. The beaming fluorescents were giving him a headache, or he was allergic to something in the air. He thought that was why his eyes began to water as he took in the battered face of Dan Cain.

[Jul 27 2023] You're the Man, Jones - Conrad Earp/Jones Hall (Asteroid City)

Silence again. Conrad kept writing. Jones was wondering if the incessant pounding in his head was necessary. He was paranoid, still. He was afraid, still. The world wasn’t ready for a man like Conrad. Jones could handle it himself, but even Conrad couldn’t. He would crumble under the pressure. He was delicate. He was a flower, and there was a shoe crushing his spine and his petals, destroying everything that made him special. And the flower was on top of a tripwire that set off a bomb. The tripwire was Conrad. And the bomb was Conrad. And the shoe was also Conrad.

[Nov 4 2023] jonah, he was swallowed by a whale - Egon Spengler/Ray Stantz (Ghostbusters)

Can you have love without it being noticed? How do you love without shouting it to the clouds and the sun, the birds and the butterflies, the stars and the moon? Is it possible to be half a whole and still allow people to think you are a unit in and of yourself? How do you mask love? How do you hide something so impossibly consuming? How can you be eaten by a whale and continue to behave like you are not being digested?

NOTE: from here on, the fics have the tendency to be sexually explicit. heed this warning.

[Dec 4 2024] don't have to guess the color of (my) underwear - Gregory House/James Wilson (House M.D.)

"Sickle cell?" Foreman suggested. Wilson felt a vibration begin. He gasped sharply. Everyone looked at him, and Wilson tried not to look ashamed. "I forgot to mention. Wilson is wearing a shock bracelet on his leg. Every time someone says something idiotic, I shock him." House pulled the remote out from his pocket. "Sickle cell doesn't cause nausea." Wilson prayed to a god he didn't believe in that this got diagnosed as fast as possible so he could go home and let House have his way with him.

[Dec 7 2024] drunk in love or whatever - Gregory House/James Wilson (House M.D.)

He got obscenely close to Wilson’s face. Wilson looked up at him like he was seeing the stars for the first time, and House would never admit how warm that made him feel. He didn’t like being “lovey-dovey” or “soft,” even around Wilson. It didn’t necessarily make him feel weak, it just made him feel vulnerable. He wasn’t worried about weakness; he was weak all the time. But opening his ribcage up and letting someone poke and prod around at his heart…sure, surgeons did it all the time, but what if he loved someone who didn’t know what they were doing? What if he loved someone who really did?

[Dec 14 2024] there he is - Gregory House/James Wilson (House M.D.)

Of course that’s what did it. Of course the words “I love you” made Wilson cum and moan like a bitch. He slowed his thrusts down to a halt as he filled his husband. “God, you were so good, you’re so good for me, I love you, I love you so much, Christ, you’re perfect, I love you.” He fell softly on top of House, kissing at his neck and jaw fervently, practically singing praises as if they were the only things he knew how to say.

[Dec 19 2024] how out of control we are this evening (darling) - Gregory House/James Wilson (House M.D.)

Beautiful. Wilson had such a complicated relationship with that word. It was so often used, in his youth, to mean like Aphrodite. To be soft, and feminine. To be desirable to men who wanted you to act like a woman. Everyone in Wilson’s life saw him, and they thought, why aren’t you a normal girl? Wilson thought it when he looked in the mirror. He knew he was beautiful. But if that was beauty, well, he would rather have been an amorphous blob, hibernating in a cellar, alone, with no reflective surfaces. Why did he have to choose between being beautiful and being a man? When House—Greg—said he was beautiful, it always meant something different. It felt different. Adonis-like. With the qualities of the feminine beauty he once admonished himself to be rid of, but harnessing them in a masculine way. It was strange, incredibly so. There was still a tinge of the old meaning (how could there not be?), that made Wilson wince when he thought about it for too long. But, when the man who had known him as Dr. James Wilson for the past 20 years had his head between his legs, gripping his hips and thighs for dear life, it was hard to believe he was anything other than a man. What a strange world.

[Dec 30 2024] baby cut me open, take my blood in your mouth - Gregory House/James Wilson (House M.D.)

“Are you an idiot? Of course I liked it. I had all of my power taken from me, and you, in all your wide-eyed sluttiness, gave me some of it back. I kicked you out because I didn’t want to take advantage of you.” “I wouldn’t have let that happen.” “You just did.”

[Jan 6 2025] i could do this forever - Gregory House/James Wilson (House M.D.)

House hated how much that affected him, his cheeks heating up despite himself. He tried not to think about what Wilson was really saying, how that meant that he was loved unconditionally, how that meant that Wilson was choosing to stick around despite House’s frequent power trips and insatiable appetite for bickering. Wilson had lied: he was not at House’s mercy. He chose to play by House’s rules. Wilson was the one trying to keep him around.

[Jan 15 2025] you're like the stars - Robert Chase/Chi Park (House M.D.)

Undressing in this way felt vulnerable. Sure, they’d had sex, but this was different. This was baring your soul to someone who then had to help you carry it gently across a sea of broken glass. This was letting someone look at a story that you were in the middle of writing, asking them if they liked it, hoping they would understand that it’s not quite done. Hoping they would help you finish the book.

[Jan 30 2025] we drink and i bandage your wrists - Gregory House/James Wilson (House M.D.)

He sat down again, dropping the gauze. “Open,” he ordered, producing a single Vicodin from the bottle. House obeyed. Wilson placed the pill on House’s tongue. He felt his muscles relax at the taste. Not just of the dusty pill residue dissolving, but also the taste of Wilson’s fingers. He swallowed the pill, closing his lips around the digits in his mouth, knowing they would be pulled away. Wilson gasped sharply and retracted his hand, wiping it off on the side of his pants. “What’s wrong with you?” “Lots.”

[Feb 12 2025] without the pretty pink ribbon, you'd end up just like me - Gregory House/James Wilson (House M.D.)

House decided she was She like the sun. House was She like a boat or a car. House was She like Mother Nature. House was She like the Universe. House was She who chain smoked in the office of a film noir detective. She put out her cigarette on his wooden desk and pulled a gun out to press it to his head. She whispered in his ear and her lipstick brushed his cheek so he smelled like her. “How hard is this going to be?” House asked earnestly. Wilson looked at her with watery eyes. “Hard,” he admitted. “But I’m going to be here.”

#fanfiction #my art #portfolio #house md #hilson #ghostbusters #stantzler #mcrobot #the aquabats supershow #jarrich #silicon valley hbo #dilfoyle #the it crowd

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