#Apollos haikus are pretty funny

[churrorat-art]

Meg McCaffrey and Lester/Apollo from trials of Apollo

[themisplaceddemigod]

i'm immortal, i can wait

PJ!Apollo x F!Reader

summary - Apollo has loved you since he first saw you, but he's had to wait several years before he could make such a confession. Especially since you're the child of his scariest uncle, Poseidon.

warnings - Apollo is his own warning. that and his haikus, also i am KEEPING JASON ALIVE in the Trials of Apollo part of this (curse you Rick)

He met you in person when you were fourteen.

Westover Hall, you had been summoned to collect two demigod kids with your brother Percy and friends Annabeth and Thalia. The mission turned sour, Annabeth was kidnapped, and Artemis saved the day before calling him to give you all a lift back to camp.

Both of you could remember how red your face turned when you'd seen him, and he wouldn't tell you but he'd heard you talking about how hot he was with Thalia. It boosted his ego (which quite frankly does not need any more boosting), and he was smug the whole ride.

"Percy, you never told me you had a sister!" He spoke so loudly the whole bus could hear him.

"Um, because we've never met in person?" You brother suggested, a little nervously. Apollo was pretty chill, but that made him even scarier.

The god of the sun just laughed, before turning to look at you. The way his eyes roamed your figure felt less-than-innocent, and your face flushed as you yet again turned a bright shade of red. You couldn't believe the Apollo, the hottest Olympian, was actually staring at you with interest. Like he found you pretty enough to be stared at.

"What's your name, sweetheart?" He smiled flirtatiously, earning some aggressive threats from the Hunters behind you, which he ignored. "Just kidding, I know it already. (Name), right? Pretty name."

You felt as if you might explode. From embarrassment, from being flustered, you didn't know. Maybe he was toying with you, as gods tended to do, but then he looked at you again and genuine interest and attraction glimmered in his stunning blue eyes.

"Thank you, Lord Apollo," you stammered out, unsure of what else to say.

"So shy," he teased, grinning, "Cute. I like you."

Of course, he had to restrain himself from charming you entirely, since you were still a minor. Poseidon would have his head if he touched you at this age, so he decided it was best to wait a few years.

Those few years were full of struggle and pain for you, losing so many friends in the battles with Kronos and then Gaea. Apollo almost intervened just to comfort you several times, but was stopped by his sister convincing him to give you a few more years - and also reminding him that the Olympians could not intervene.

But you grew into such a beautiful, smart, brave woman - and extremely sexy, but he would have to keep that to himself - and Apollo felt lucky to have watched this growth. It made his attraction to you all the more prominent, and he began to feel something he hasn't felt in centuries - genuine. true love.

And it scared him.

His past lovers that he had really, truly loved had both been killed in gruesome ways. He was afraid of what being with him would mean for you, but ultimately decided on getting Poseidon's permission first.

The god of the sea said no.

Then came his trials.

The first demigods he went to were you and Percy, of course. Since he was stuck with an infuriating little girl, he hoped that you might tag along on his perilous journey to make it a little better.

To his delight, you agreed.

"What's so funny?" He demanded when he caught you snickering during a break from all the running.

"You," you laughed, "Never thought the god Apollo would be reduced to an average teenage boy with acne." You laughed even more at that, and he pouted, but enjoyed hearing you laugh nonetheless.

His first sign that you might have a crush on him too came when he mentioned he'd turned some gossipers into ravens just for telling on his previous cheating girlfriend. The mere mention of his ex-girlfriend seemed to irritate you, and Apollo was amused.

Though his turn for jealousy came when he noticed how close you were to Jason Grace. He couldn't do anything, though, so he watched miserably as you got along with the son of Jupiter so well that any outsider would think you were dating.

"What's with the pout, then?" You had asked him when you noticed how upset he looked.

"I am not pouting!"

"Yes you are."

You stepped closer, and your intoxicating scent filled his nostrils. He felt like a schoolboy with a massive crush, just you being that close scrambling his thoughts and making it difficult for him to answer.

"Alright, keep your secrets," you laughed, then walked away, and Apollo was left disappointed.

He was not even going to talk about the whole thing with Reyna. You had suddenly gotten so angry with him after that, you hadn't spoken to him for two days - unless absolutely necessary. It hurt, but he knew you must have been even more hurt by what had been implied.

The end of the trials eventually came and relieved all of you, the defeat of the Triumvirate taking a great weight off the world's - and yours - shoulders. Apollo disappeared after he went to fight Python, and for two weeks you heard no word from him or Olympus.

Then suddenly he was in the middle of camp, spouting the worst haikus you had ever heard in your life. And that was saying something, since all his haikus were pretty terrible.

"Like captured water

You hold me in your cupped hands

I flow on your palm."

Your jaw dropped. That was even worse than you assumed it would be, especially since he chose to center it around the fact that you're a daughter of Poseidon.

"Lord Apollo-"

"See what I did there?" He winked, coming up to you with a cheerful grin. "Did you like it?"

"Well-"

"Fear not! I have another one prepared that is sure to woo you."

Your face flushed, "Please don't say "woo", your kids are listening!"

He was already reciting his next haiku.

"You shatter my sleep

All milk-need and petal lips

You smile and I melt."

You frowned in confusion, "What does that even mean?"

"Aha! See I knew that was the one!"

"I didn't-what?"

He ignored your puzzlement in favour of coming so close to you his overwhelming godly power almost made you pass out.

"I'm sorry I haven't been around for two weeks," he apologised sincerely. "I was in a coma. I swear on the River Styx that it's the truth. But I came here as soon as I woke up, for you." He grinned like that was the best confession he could muster.

"Are you serious?" You breathed out, unable to believe what you were hearing.

"Technically I wanted you when you were fourteen, but that would have come across as creepy apparently," he informed you, "So I had to wait a few years until you turned the right age. That was okay with me, I'm immortal, I can wait."

Your jaw dropped further, "Are you, um-is this-?"

"A love confession? Yes!" He gleefully exclaimed, as if it were perfectly normal for an Olympian to invade camp and profess his love for a demigod.

The entire camp was silent, except for the Aphrodite girls who seemed to be glaring holes into you while trying to curse you - fortunately only the Apollo kids (ironically) had the power to curse a person to speak in rhymes.

"And what did...what did my dad think of this?" You cleared your throat, slightly nervous.

"Oh he was against it at first," Apollo admitted, "BUT he came around. It seems the trials proved a lot more than I thought."

"Well, uh, that's great," you half-smiled, not sure why you felt a sense of dread. This should be the happiest moment of your life.

Apollo's smile faltered, "Do you not-"

"No I do!" You quickly cut him off, sparing him the embarrassment of being rejected in front of a few dozen kids MUCH younger than him. "It's just...you're a god..."

He sighed, "Let's go take a walk."

A few minutes later you were away from prying eyes, sitting by the lake since it always calmed you down. Water soothed you, as cliche as that is for a Poseidon kid.

"I'm just worried," you started after a few minutes of silence, "You know, about all your mortal affairs and having demigod children and all that." You sighed. "I know it's silly. But I just don't think I can go through with it knowing that."

He frowned, but understood, "I can always stop-"

You laughed bitterly, "All the gods promised a woman what. Zeus promised Hera, but there's Jason and Thalia. Poseidon promised Amphitrite, but here Percy, Tyson and I are. It's in your nature, you can't help it."

He felt offended by that, "Yes well, none of them had the displeasure of being turned into mortal for a few months. It changes a god, you know."

You turned to look at him, "Are you really sure about this? That this is what you want? I'm what you want?"

"I've waited for you since you were fourteen," he reminded you, "Of course I'm sure." Despite your reluctance, he took your hand. "Please, just give me a chance."

You thought it over for a moment, before smiling softly, "Fine. You have your chance. But the first mortal affair you have-"

"I won't need them," he smiled, moving closer, "You can have all my children."

Your jaw dropped at his blatant suggestion, a deep blush forming on your cheeks, "Are you crazy?! I can't-"

"You can," he leaned in even closer, "Once I make you immortal."

You started stuttering and stammering just then, uttering some kind of incomprehensible nonsense that the god of the sun just laughed at. He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, before finally leaning in and claiming your lips.

He had waited long enough, now he was going to kiss you every chance he got.

[percyjacksonblog]

I just finished the first Trials of Apollo book and I got to say, I actually enjoyed it.

I read the original 5 PJOs from 2007-9. 6th grade to 7th grade. Then starting in 2010 (?) when The Lost Hero came out I read each of the HoO books as they came out. I think I was a freshman in college (2014?) when the last one came out, so I can honestly say I grew up with these characters and this world.

I don’t remember why I didn’t read any of the Trials of Apollo books before but it was nice to come back to this world. I read PJO 6 when it came out last fall and it sparked my love of reading these stories again, so I read The Hidden Oracle to continue this story to keep up to date in this world.

Spoilers ahead

So as I mentioned before I did like this book.

It’s been literal years since I read any of TLF, but I did get some major TLF vibes from it. The set up for the rest of the series is pretty good.

Haikus for chapter titles A+

Showing that the mythic world is always growing and there is a new generation of Demigods (Clarisse, and Travis going to college, Percy and Annabeth in their senior year)

Cameos from og characters like Connor, Percy, Malcolm, Nico, and Will

Interesting take that once Apollo and Meg arrived at camp they technically never left. I think except for BotL and TLO this book and the most limited outside of camp action. Not a bad thing, just a different experience.

Peaches!

I’m not going to lie I genuinely did not expect that twist! I was legitimately shocked. Looking back I feel like I could have picked up on some of the clues. I mean imperial gold swords…come on. That should have been a dead giveaway.

Apollo really did grow as a character this book. I’m very interested to see how else he grows.

My biggest question is, if Apollo is supposed to be Lester, why don’t the other demigods refer to him as Lester? Like what is the point of an entirely different identity if it’s really not used? Apollo only refers to himself as Lester when he’s complaining about mortality or feeling useless. Maybe it’s more important later but I feel like making an entirely new identity, one that Nero and probably the rest of the Triumvirate can see through, is kind of pointless. One of the themes of this book is acceptance, so maybe when Apollo totally accepts “Lester” that’s the end.

So much of this was too easily accomplished by Apollo or Apollo/Meg. They were met with a problem and it was almost solved too easily. The thugs in the beginning, Meg beat them up. Attacked by plague spirits, Meg summons Peaches, trapped in the cocoon made by ants and almost about to be eaten, flower seeds that your 1/2 sister gave you before your quest. Trying to fight off ants, just sing a song and they’ll be mesmerized. Don’t get me wrong I loved all those scenes, but the only time that any of the characters actually struggled was fighting Nero. Even when they’re fighting the giant statue, Apollo’s arrow magically gets helped by the wind.

I really hope Apollo finds Meg. I have the second book ready to go and will start reading it. I need her to come back to camp. That poor girl had been emotionally and mentally abused by Nero. She was also manipulated by him and I feel so sorry for her.

Leo coming back to camp and Nico setting up a queue to allow the campers to punch him was legitimately one of the funniest things I’ve read in the entire Percy Jackson world.

Calypso giving up immortality is huge. Her reunion with Percy was also funny.

Apollo’s reaction to Calypso was also amazing (juicy gossip. Don’t ask me later.) If Percy is the god of sass, Apollo is literally the god of gossip. I love it.

I’m excited to keep going with this series. It’s nice to that I don’t have to wait until the next book gets published because it’s already out.

[citrusreadstoa]

Reading The Dark Prophecy: Chapter 5 (SPOILERS)

"Tell you a story? / Or I could just, like, pass out / And twitch on the couch" This whole haiku is one of my favorites so far. It's funny and the assonance (I think that's what it's called) between "out" and "couch" is pretty good. I know haikus aren't supposed to rhyme, but this one was satisfying.

"Yeah, okay. I'm gonna check out the forges." Leo! You aren't even a little bit curious?

"these waking visions had been happening with alarming frequency." He is pulling a Hazel! He is pulling a Hazel! These visions do happen during the daytime!

"the baleen ridge of a whale's mouth." Looked it up. It's the brush-like part that are their "teeth," which art as a filter. The definition on Google by the Oxford Language dictionary just says "whalebone." That's the whole definition. Unhelpful.

"his daughters breaking his finest amphora of wine, and so, naturally, they had to die." WOW. Overreaction. This guy sees his daughters as less valuable than his wine. I'm surprised they made it to their teenage years with a dad like that. "I mean... if the girls had broken a Stradivarius violin or gold-plated harmonica, I might have understood his rage." Apollo! See, this is how they indicate to us that Apollo still has more character development to get through.

"Parthenos and Hemithea" Parthenos? Like Athena Parthenos? Or is this another Rhea-Rhea Silvia situation? "Rhoeo--the king's eldest daughter" There's a D missing in that name. "It is no small thing to make someone a god." Yeah, so why'd ya do it, Apollo? It would have been so much simpler to just teleport them somewhere safe, as I'm sure they were expecting. "I prayed, 'Help us, Artemis!'" Eh, Apollo was far away. Easy mistake. /s

"[Nero] balanced a plate of strawberries" D'you think he ordered those from Delphi Strawberry Farm? It would be wonderfully ironic. "her knees bent in yellow leggings" Lol, she switched back to the traffic light outfit even after Sally gave her black leggings. You think she has a whole closet of the same clothes?

"the sort of boy who enjoyed appearing from shadows." Maybe Nico knows this guy.

"our friend the New Hercules." I don't know what to make of this. Multiple people have been compared to Hercules over the books but I doubt it's any one of them. This is a new character. What does he have in common with Hercules? Is it just strength or is it his backstory or the role he plays, etc.? "his obsession with destroying the House of Nets." The NBA? Does he have something against basketball? Or does he play basketball and wants to take down the rival basketball team?

"Emmie is a healer to rival Apollo." She is poking the bear. Stabbing it with a spear, more like.

"We were kinda busy talking shop." So busy you wouldn't notice someone having a seizure in the middle of the room?

Cheese ghost Brieanna is back!

[nellhargreeves]

omg yes same! like the first time the focus was just on the funny bits (and being upset that Percy wasn’t in the book LOL), but lost hero had some really good moments for sure. You’re so right about Leo being a good friend - and you can also tell that Jason really appreciates it like, he asks Leo to stay when he’s talking to Thalia the first time because he’s nervous and Leo just automatically agrees even tho it’s kind of awkward (and makes flirty jokes to try diffuse the tension). I mean Jason barely knows who he is but he still trusts and wants Leo to be there, which just says so much

Titans curse (dam) killed me!! I listened to that one as an Audiobook at work and did not remember it being that sad 😭😭 “I can see the stars again, my lady” I literally had to go take a walk.

But yes Percy POV is the best, just the right amount of sass. I enjoy how unreliable he is as a narrator (like those memes where he’s like oh and I stabbed some monsters and we won yay, and then from everyone else’s pov they’re like holy HELL you are scary 💀)

I have only read the first TOA a long time ago. I’m making sure I read all the other books first before starting tsats (currently on house of hades). I think I have heard good things though? And Rick Riordan said Apollo is his fav pov to write I’m pretty sure. Apparently Apollo is even more of an unreliable narrator and there are bad haikus every chapter hahah so maybe worth the read?

I need someone to fangirl with over PJO and HOO SO BAD - I'm not even kidding but the whole reread journey so far has me losing my mind over every tiny detail and I'm just so crazy about these demigods right now I don't wanna talk about anything else but then there is no one to talk to about this stuff right now so I peeked into pjotwt to see if I could make new friends but that was a dumpster fire (as twt always is) so I guess I will not be talking to anyone about anything until I'm done with my entire rereading project and just screaming into the void about everything.

[te-amo-mon-couer]

Okay so,

Imagine Japanese Percy

I’m sorry this has been stuck in my head for a long ass time.

Okay so like in Asian culture

Asian parents put a lot of shit into education (like A Lot, but like I feel like that’s most parents who aren’t white, bc if you don’t get a good ass degree and stuff, there’s a big chance you won’t like get a good job and be all that content in life, why am I saying this this is irrelevant, SO ANYWAYS). imagine Percy just has this hardass Japanese family (idk I picture a badass grandma and a shit ton of cousins) who like put a lot of attention on his grades, but they also realize that he doesn’t have to get good grades to be smart or anything so then he just knows a lot of facts and random things and lowkey gets pretty good grades except for English. He’s failing English and for a good flipping reason.

AND THEN THERES ALSO THIS THING, where you like respect your elders a fuck ton and you have to bow to them I think? Well maybe it’s not called bowing but maybe it’s some variant of that ( I don’t know I’m not Japanese but if you are Japanese and reading this and it’s wrong just dm me and I’ll fix it) anyways imagine all the gods just see Percy bowing to this tiny tiny Asian woman when he refuses to even nod his head at most of them at this point, it would be fucking hilarious.

ALSO HIM AND ETHAN NAKAMURA AND CLOSER IN THE LIGHTNING THEIF. LIKE HE GOES TO CAMP AND HIS MOMS DEAD BUT THEN HE GOES TO THIS SHITTY CABIN AND HE TALKS TO ETHAN AND SPEAKING IN JAPANESE JUST REMINDS HIM OF HOME AND IT MAKES HIM SO NOSTALGIC AND IT REMINDS HIM OF HIS MOM

HE COULD ALSO INTRODUCE ANNABETH TO SOME JAPANESE BUILDINGS (WHICH ARE ACTUALLY SO BEAUTIFUL)

HE WOULD ALSO HAVE HIS JAPANESE NAME WHILE PERSEUS JACKSON IS HIS AMERICAN SECOND NAME. AND IT WOULD ALSO BE FUNNY IF HE SWORE ON THE RIVER STYX BUT IT DIDNT TAKE AFFECT BC HE DIDNT SAY HIS CORRECT NAME ( I LIKE TO THIS KANA IS HIS MIDDLE NAME BECAUSE IT LITERALLY MEANS NAME IF A DEMIGOD AND CAN YOU IMAGINE HIM FIGURING IT OUT AND BEING LIKE RLLY MOM, RLLY??

Also imagine he knows random Japanese gods and he does not know??? They???? Are gods??? And he’s just like wassup (I’m mostly talking abt Shinto gods rn)

AND idk I just also really want Percy to know tons of languages

ALSO IMSGINE HIM AND APOLLO RANDOMLY SPEAKING IN HAIKUS (bc i am sure Apollo’s faking the bad haikus bc he’s the goddamn god of poetry) (also I don’t mean this as like all Japanese people know haikus, I just want this to happen rlly badly)

ALSO HIM AND DREW ARE BEST FRIENDS NOW IM SORRY

[mozeloon]

11/01 🌒

Just went to the library last night to pick up some more books :) I’ve been able to read more on the bus lately, so I’m getting through my list more quickly now than in September. Here’s what I’ve got/what I’m hoping to get through:

The Trials of Apollo: The Hidden Oracle (Rick Riordan)

Artemis Fowl: The Last Guardian (Eoin Colfer) (last book!)

The Frontman (Ron Bahar)

The Dream Thieves (Maggie Stiefvater)

The End of Summer (Tillie Walden)

The Marvels (Brian Selznick)

Prince Caspian (C. S. Lewis)

I’ve only just started the Trials of Apollo, it’s very nostalgic and maybe I don’t find these books as funny now as I did a couple years back, but Rick Riordan’s style is so recognizable and enjoyable that I just...I can’t not like it. I can’t not find it funny. For now, though, I’m mostly enjoying the moments with the characters I already know and love, like Percy, Will and Nico, who show up pretty early on. I thought of a haiku earlier to sum up my thoughts on the book so far, but now I’ve forgotten it. I think it went something like:

(*Something about Nico and Will*)

I’m so happy for Nico

It’s what he deserves

I’m sad too, this really had potential, and maybe if I wasn’t so sleep-deprived this week I would have remembered it. Oh, well.

And I’ve also given a listen (or a few listens) to: 

Weezer/the Black Album (Weezer)

FANDOM (Waterparks)

Harry Styles (Harry Styles)

Also, revisiting the very immersive and sad Harry Potter soundtracks. The Weezer album wasn’t my favourite, not too much stuck out to me, but I enjoyed the Harry Styles album! I really like Woman, it sounds inspired by Elton John. And Waterparks of course have outdone themselves, Fandom is great.