#Anyways. Its very important. So important to me. I'm sobbing.

[caterpillarinacave]

i have. such strong feelings. very specifically about Matthew Fairchild, his little sister, and both of their dogs.

[intern-seraph]

forget-me-not (Chp 1)

also on ao3

Summary: For the first time in your seven years alive, you meet someone new in your small town. Little do either of you know that your brief friendship will bind you together long, long after you are forced to part ways.

A/N: hi :)

shoutout to matcha twstjam for being my cheerleader thru this insane, ongoing journey

For those who have been following me on my socials, i'm sorry you know that this fic has been in the works for over a year as of last month. I was originally intending on publishing it only when it was complete, but it very quickly grew way out of hand and I realized that it would definitely not be complete any time soon. Still, I wanted to put it out into the world! So I decided to publish the first chapter! When will the rest come out? Who knows? I certainly don't lol ALSO the presence of forget-me-nots in the actual fic is, at most, debatable lmao i just thought it was a cool and fitting title

Anyways, I have a deep, desperate need for more jewishness in fan content, so I'm filling that dearth myself.

————

You peer out from behind the gnarled oak tree at the edge of the town park. Its trunk is almost half as wide as you are tall, and its boughs are so thick and heavy that the branches droop under their own weight. Once, there was a rope swing that hung from one of the thicker branches. It was destroyed in a storm a few years ago, and nobody has bothered to replace it since. As one of the few children living here, you don’t mind its absence much. After all, you only ever come here to read. Usually you sit on the other side of this very tree, enjoying the shade and the rustling leaves. However, today someone’s taken your spot. The stranger seems to be only a few years older than you, dressed entirely in black. Their clothes shimmer as light filters through the leaves, and you know that the fabric must be fine and expensive. Slivers of their pale skin peek out from the ends of their sleeves and the hem of their robe. It’s a far cry from the homespun woolen garments and rough, sun-kissed skin of your neighbors. The most bizarre thing about them, however, are their spiraling black horns.

You hug your book to your chest, unsure of what to do. You’ve never seen this child before, after all, and you know all of the other kids in town (all four of them, that is). Even worse, you just know that whoever this is must be rich and therefore important. Why are they here, of all places?

“Um…” You tiptoe over the tree’s massive roots and draw closer to the stranger. “Are you from around here?”

The stranger startles, and you yelp as the world burns bright green for a moment. With a grunt, you fall back and land squarely on your butt. You lie there for a second, blinking away the spots in your vision before your throat begins to tighten and tears form at the corners of your eyes. Beside you, the stranger’s blurry face appears. Your sniffling turns into sobs, and you cover your face with both hands as you start crying.

“H-hey,” says the stranger, touching you lightly, “don’t cry! I didn’t mean to scare you!”

You wail even louder, rolling onto your side and curling up into a ball. The stranger pats your shoulder stiffly.

“I’m sorry,” they whisper, voice breaking. “Please don’t be scared.”

Finally, your crying peters out. You hiccup as you wipe your tears away on your sleeve. “I-I’m sorry for scaring you,” you say. The stranger remains silent. “That was magic, right? I scared you and you used your magic…”

“That’s okay. Are you hurt?” The stranger extends a hand into your field of view and hauls you up onto your feet with little effort. Now that you can see clearly, you lean closer to examine his face. He’s a boy around your age, you think. His cheeks are round and soft but you can see where his baby fat is starting to recede. His lips curl into a small pout, accentuated by the embarrassed flush coloring his cheeks. You can’t help but gawk at his electric green eyes. They’re so distinct that, without taking his horns into account, their color and slit pupils alone would tell you that he’s not human. When he notices you’re staring, he shifts back in discomfort. You jolt and giggle abashedly.

“No, I’m okay. Uh, who are you? Are you from around here?” You start to circle him, eyeing his odd features with interest. Are those scales crawling up the back of his neck? Why is the back of his robe moving so weirdly?

“No,” he mumbles. He holds something close to his chest. A book! “I’m… from really far away. My grandmother brought me with her to do some —” his nose scrunches up “— official business. But that’s boring so I left.”

“Won’t your grandma be worried?”

He puffs up like a particularly proud pigeon. “Nuh-uh. I’m big and strong so I can take care of myself!” As he speaks, the thing moving under his robe finally lifts enough to reveal itself: a thick, scaly black tail. It swishes from side to side as he practically preens. Cute. “What about you? You’re here all alone!”

“I know everyone here, duh.” You crouch down and pick up your book, then trot over to sit in your usual spot now that it’s empty. The stranger pouts at you, puffing out his cheeks. You turn your nose up at him. “This was my spot first.”

“Says who?”

“Says me. You can sit next to me, I guess.”

He blinks slowly at you, fingers tightening on his book, before he breaks out into a brilliant smile and plops down at your side. You take note of his sharp fangs. Part of you is tempted to touch them, but you restrain yourself well enough. “What’s your name?” asks the stranger.

You give it to him immediately, pausing to spell it out letter-by-letter just to show off. He nods, but when you ask him the same question, he balks.

“Is it okay if I don’t tell you? I don’t wanna… uh…” He waves his hands for emphasis. “I don’t want my grandmother to hear about me.”

“Well then what should I call you?”

“Hmm…” He furrows his brow and scrunches his eyes shut. Then, he gasps and beams at you. “Nickname! You can gimme a nickname!”

“A nickname, huh? How about…” Your voice trails off. You stare at him, pursing your lips. First, you glance up at his horns, then his tail (thumping against one of the oak tree’s roots), then back up at his horns. “Horn…ton? Yeah, Hornton!”

“That sounds weird.”

“Too bad! You’re Hornton now!”

Hornton rolls his eyes. He opens the book in his lap, clearly trying (and failing) to look smart and above-it-all, but you can see the pointed tips of his ears turning red. Giggling, you follow his lead and open your own book. Out of the corner of your eye, you watch his petulant expression melt into contentment while he reads. He’s cute like this. He’s cute in general — which is a thought that makes you want to gag — but you especially like his sweet little smile. Although you were loath to share your spot beneath the tree, he does make for good reading company. That is, he’s quiet and doesn’t take up too much of your personal space. Before you know it, the sun is setting.

You dog-ear your page and nudge Hornton. “Hey, it’s getting late. You should go back to your grandma.” Hornton jolts, but doesn’t react as violently as he did earlier. His tail thuds against the tree trunk.

“Oh, yeah. I gotta go!” He doesn’t move, only fidgeting with his robe. “Uh, thanks for sitting with me.”

“Why’re you thanking me? It’s no problem.” You pause and look away. Feeling your face grow hot, you say, “Will you be back again?”

“C-Can I?”

“Yeah! I mean, you’re a pretty decent reading buddy, so… yeah.”

“Yes! I’ll be back tomorrow!” He smiles so broadly that you think it must hurt.

“Cool! I’ll be here after noon, that’s when our classes are over.” You stand up and start patting your clothes to get rid of any dirt. Then, you turn and give Hornton a grin of your own. “‘S nice meeting you! See ya!”

He waves timidly, eyes wide and almost shimmering. You don’t give it too much thought, you just start sprinting back down the dirt road leading into town.

—

“Mister Crowley!”

You slam the front door open, practically vibrating with excitement. The schoolmaster yelps from further inside your house, then rushes over to greet you. He’s pouting, feathers positively ruffled. Gently, he grabs you by the shoulders and gives you a once-over.

“Now, where have you been? I’ve been worried sick about you!”

“I was at the park!” You grin and hold up your book.

Crowley sighs and shakes his head. He wags his finger at you as he starts walking you to the dining room. “Now, child, what have we said about staying out late?”

“Uh… tell you?”

“Indeed! I have been very generous with allowing you free reign of the town! Nevermind all your tchotchkes and trinkets! If you’ll be gallivanting around like this in the future, make sure to inform your very magnanimous guardian beforehand! I was about to send the entire neighborhood out to look for you!”

He probably wasn’t. You know him well enough to know that. But the concern is appreciated. “Sorry,” you say.

“As long as it doesn’t happen again,” Crowley mutters. He pulls out your seat at your little dining table and returns to his own chair. Just at a glance, you can tell that he’d tucked in to his dinner before you came home. As you pick up your fork, a soft little body butts up against your calf. You squeal with delight and duck under the table to scoop up Grim, your bratty street cat. He mrows petulantly, but lets you cuddle him. It had taken a week of relentless begging for Crowley to let you take Grim in, and you had to pinky promise to take good care of him. Then, your friends got the bright idea of trying to bind the cat to you as a familiar (despite your lack of magic), and while it hasn’t worked yet, it certainly helped warm Crowley up to the idea. Something about his sweet baby becoming a beast tamer. You’re not sure what that is, and you’re definitely not a baby, but if it works, it works.

The air is filled with the quiet clink of silverware. After a while, you speak up. “I met someone today.”

Crowley nearly chokes. He pounds on his chest, coughing into his fist. It takes a second for him to recover. “You what?”

“There was a boy at the park,” you explain, “we read together.”

“What did I tell you about talking to strangers?”

“Nothing, we already know everyone in town.”

His mouth opens and closes silently. Then, sighing, he shakes his head. “Well, yes, but you were supposed to say that we don’t talk to strangers.”

“He wasn’t scary or anything,” you lie, remembering how you startled each other.

“Very well! Be careful, though. If something were to happen to you, I don’t even know what I would say, er, do!”

You pointedly ignore that slip-up in favor of finishing your meal. Pushing your chair away from the table with a screech, you grab your dishes and your cat and say a quick “good night!” to your guardian.

—

First thing in the morning when you and Crowley arrive at the schoolhouse, you’re accosted by Ace and Deuce. It’s mostly Ace doing the accosting, really, but Deuce joins him in hanging on your back like the world’s heaviest and most annoying koalas. You shake them off and whip around to start wrestling with Ace. Deuce takes his loss better, choosing to sit on the grass and watch you and Ace play fight. Crowley clears his throat several times, probably to get your attention, but you’re preoccupied and he gives up quickly in favor of unlocking the door and stepping inside. There’s a holler nearby, a series of rapid footsteps, and another heavy body falls on you with a grunt.

“Epel!” you wheeze out, squirming on top of the also-squirming Ace. “Can’t breathe!”

“Oh!” Epel rolls off of you, and you roll off of Ace. “Sorry, looked like you were havin’ fun!”

“Was fun,” Ace mumbles, “until you two crushed me.”

“Oops.”

“You didn’t die, though,” you say before you get up. “Also you started it!”

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“How do you guys do this every morning?” says Jack as he trots up to join you all on the lawn. He rolls his eyes in a remarkable impression of his mother when she’s scolding all five of you. “We’ve gotta go to class.”

“Ace started it!” you repeat.

“Whatever, c’mon.” Jack hauls both you and Ace up by your forearms while you both giggle. He shakes his head, marching you both into the schoolhouse with Epel and Deuce hot on your tails.

"Ah, there you are! I was wondering what was taking you all so long. Take your seats! We have Professor Trein visiting from the city today for our lesson."

Ace groans as he flops into his seat. You lean over and smack his shoulder. Deuce takes his own seat beside you, trying his best to look enthused.

Professor Trein works in the capitol as a history professor for the university. While he's nice enough (and his familiar Lucius is cute and fluffy), every time he comes to give a lesson at your schoolhouse is somehow more boring than the last. You sink down in your seat, ready to daydream until class lets out. When Professor Trein takes Crowley’s place in front of the blackboard, you feel a tap on your shoulder. Without looking at him, you take the slip of paper Ace passes.

‘my mom wants u to come to a party tonite’

Aside from a time scribbled beneath the words, there’s no other information. Great. History lessons with Professor Trein followed by a party where you’ll be stuck at the kids’ table. Again. At least you have a few hours to hang out with your new friend after school.

—

After class, Epel hands out little brown sacks full of apples to everyone. “Ma ‘n Pa said that they’re ‘not fit to sell’ or somethin’, and Meemaw said I should give ‘em to all of you.” You sling your sack over your shoulder, say your “see you later!”s to your friends, and march off to the park.

Beneath your tree, Hornton is waiting. You sprint towards him, grinning, and he looks up at you with wide eyes before returning the smile. He has his book in his lap, open to a different page than he left on.

“Hi,” you say shyly, hugging your sack of apples to your chest. “Were you waiting long?”

“Not really. I mean, maybe? Dunno, I didn’t really notice.”

You sit next to him and set the apples between your splayed legs. Fishing a plump red one out, you wipe it on your blouse and offer it to him. “Here!”

“Why do you have apples?” He eyes it curiously, hand hovering over it.

“My friend’s family has an orchard so he gave us all some after class.” You wave the apple around. “Take it! They’re good!”

Hornton takes the apple. He inspects it in the sunlight for a moment, then takes a bite. His eyes light up as he sinks his teeth into the apple’s hard skin, and he demolishes the fruit in less than a minute. Licking the juice off of his lips and fangs, he mumbles a messy thanks. You just smile and bop your temple against his. As you pull your novel out of your bookbag, you take another apple from the sack and shine it on your trousers. Out of the corner of your eye, you spy Hornton staring longingly at the sack.

“You can take another if you want,” you say.

He jumps, green eyes going comically wide. Cheeks flushed a bright ruby-red, he snatches another apple from the sack and rubs it clumsily on his very expensive robes.

“Do you like apples?”

“I do now,” he replies. He’s visibly struggling to keep his attention both on you and the book in his lap.

Curious, you lean over his shoulder and try to make sense of the foreign words in his book. Your brow scrunches up. “What’re you reading?”

His body goes tense the moment you touch him, but he doesn’t flinch away. When you glance up at his face, his expression is more severe and excited than you’ve seen yet. “It’s about arky… archee… uh, it’s about buildings and art! And this is the chapter about gargoyles!” He jabs an excited claw against an illustration of a beastly statue whose jaw hangs open. Water pours down its chin. The page (and the ones preceding and succeeding it) is clearly more worn than the rest of the book. “We have a bunch at the — I mean, at home — and Grandmother saw that I really liked them so she gave me this book!”

“What’s a gargoyle?”

He looks at you like you just confessed to murder. Shaking his head, he flips back a few pages. “They’re ‘ornamental stone carvings of animals or people that project from the side of a building and serve as the spout of a gutter.’ You’ve seen one before, right?”

“No.” You lean in closer to inspect another illustration. “They’re weird.” He stares at you, aghast. You roll your eyes. “Cool weird. We don’t have these out here.”

"Oh… that's a shame. Maybe one day you could come see the ones in my home."

You peer up at him. "Maybe. I gotta ask Mister Crowley."

"Who's that?"

"I live with him. He's weird."

"Cool weird?"

"Weird weird." You nudge him with your shoulder. "Do you live with your grandma?"

"Yeah."

"So it's you and her and your parents?"

Hornton goes completely quiet. He fingers the gilded edge of the page. Softly, he mumbles, "They aren't here anymore."

"Oh. Mine too. That's why I'm with Mister Crowley."

“... Do you know what happened to them?”

You shrug and pluck another apple out of the sack. As you wipe it on your trousers, you reply, “Nah. I dunno if Mister Crowley knows, either. He says he found me in a box left outside the school. There was a note, but it only said my name.”

“Oh.” Hornton looks away. “That’s sad.”

“I guess.” You shrug again. “If they didn’t want me, I don’t want them neither.”

He stares at you, wide-eyed. All he manages is another quiet, “Oh.”

Scowling, you take a bite out of your apple. “I don’t wanna talk about it anymore. Let’s just read.”

“Okay. I… I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” He seems to wilt at your curt statement. You add, “Really, it’s fine. Please, I wanna get through another chapter before I have to go.”

“You’re going somewhere?”

“Yeah, some party at my friend’s house. It’s not even for him, so I dunno why I’m invited, but I think his mom invited everyone in town.” Another bite. You look over the words on the page, not really processing them. “So I gotta go in a couple hours.”

“That must be nice,” Hornton sighs. “Getting invited to parties all the time.”

“What? No, it’s boring. It’s just boring grownup stuff most of the time. It’s only fun when it’s a birthday party, and there’s only four other kids in town so those never happen.” You emphasize this with a long groan.

“Really?” He thinks on this for a moment. “I guess it’s like the parties Grandmother throws.”

“What kinda parties?”

“Uh, they’re… big and fancy, but there aren’t any kids at all. And I can’t go dance or talk to people. And… um… it’s a lot. I don’t like them that much.”

You watch him as his voice shrinks and his head droops. Gently, you bop your temple against his. He perks up a little. With a small smile, you say, “Maybe I can invite you to my birthday party this year. It’d be fun!”

For a moment, you’d swear his eyes water. He beams at you, reaching out to grasp your hand. “I’d like that.”

—

The party at Ace's house is full of tipsy adults while you and your friends drink your juice in a corner. Well, everyone except Ace. His mother parades him around to talk to the other adults who apparently know him. None of you envy him — he looks miserable.

It turns out that the party is for Ace's brother. He emerges from a side room with his girlfriend on his arm and introduces her as his fiancée. When Deuce gives you a questioning look, you lean over and tell him that that means they're going to get married. The adults cheer and sing and dance for hours longer; the celebration only pauses for bedtime (which is fine with you, the party was boring anyways).

The next morning, Crowley wobbles out of his room with most of his weight held up by his cane. He has a faint green tinge to his face, but that doesn't stop him from walking with you to the schoolhouse. This is all, of course, just to announce that class is canceled for the day. You gather with your friends and, after a brief argument, decide to play in the park together.

That's how you find yourself nearly tripping over a familiar figure sitting beneath the oak tree. Hornton looks up from his book, gasps, and reaches out to help steady you. You wheel your arms around haphazardly for a moment before you breathe out a sigh of relief. Then, you take in Hornton's face and gasp.

"Oh! You're here today!"

Before you can give a proper greeting, Ace hollers your name. Both you and Hornton turn to look at the four boys coming to join you. Ace stops, bare toes curling in the grass. He eyes Hornton warily, the sloppy heart painted around his left eye scrunching up. "Who're you?"

"Uh…"

"He's Hornton and he's my friend," you say for him.

"'Hornton?'" Epel repeats. He snorts. "That's a stupid name."

"It isn't my real name," mumbles Hornton.

"Your name is stupid, Epel," you snap. You cross your arms and stick out your tongue. He returns the gesture.

"You guys are children," says Jack. Epel appears comically devastated at the deadpan insult. You huff softly.

Deuce snorts. "You're the youngest!"

"By a month!"

"Your friends are loud," Hornton whispers. You nod. He picks at the page he's on, a tiny film of gold foil flaking onto his black claw. "Should I go?"

"No!" Your friends turn to stare at you. Hornton blinks slowly, pink tinting his cheeks. He smiles bashfully, shrinking a little into his robes. Ace, meanwhile, gets that certain spark in his eye that instantly makes you shoot him a glare in warning. He grins, showing off one of his missing baby teeth, but keeps his mouth otherwise shut.

"Wait, is this the kid you mentioned yesterday?" Deuce asks. He peers over at Hornton. "I thought you were kidding."

"Why would I kid about that? That'd be weird."

"'Cause you're weird," Epel mutters, and you lunge for him while he shrieks with laughter and ducks away.

"You've got pointy ears," says Jack, his own fluffy white ears swiveling towards Hornton before he turns to look at you, "kinda like your dad."

Ew. From your spot on the grass wrestling with Epel, you sit up. "Mister Crowley is not my dad."

"But you live with him?"

"So?"

"I live with my Meemaw," Epel adds. "She's not my mom."

"See?"

Hornton observes your conversation. He tilts his head and hums thoughtfully. "I live with my grandmother, that doesn't make her my mother."

"You talk funny."

"Epel!"

"What? It's true! He talks all fancy like Professor Trein!"

"Fancy?"

"Fancy!"

You roll your eyes and shove Epel. Ignoring his indignant squawk, you scurry over to sit beside Hornton. "Wanna hang out with us?"

He stares at you, mouth agape. Again, he smiles shyly. "You're really inviting me?"

"Duh," Ace drawls. "Why else would they ask?"

Hornton tucks his book into his robe. A tiny green light sparks at his fingertips for a moment as he does so. Then, he stands up. He holds his curled fists close to his chest, guarding. Ignoring his nerves, you grab his hands and use him as leverage to stand, too.

"Whaddya wanna play? Or talk about?"

"Uh… I don't know?"

"Do you guys think you'll ever get married?" Deuce blurts out. All 5 of you turn to stare at him. He goes pale before blushing furiously. "Wait, no, I mean —! Since Ace's brother's gonna get married I was thinking about it!"

You hum. "I'unno. Maybe? Mister Crowley cried last night when I asked him if I'd ever get married."

"Ew."

"Yeah."

"I'm gonna get married," Jack asserts. His tail swishes with excitement. "My mom and dad said that I'll know when I found 'the one.'"

"What does that mean?"

He shrugs. "Dunno. But they've been together for forever."

"True. Ace?"

He makes an exaggerated gagging sound. Complete with gestures. "No way! My brother and his fiancée are so gross with each other all the time! It's weird."

"It's gross 'cause he's your brother, dummy."

"And?"

"My mom's not married," Deuce says, plucking at the grass. "She says my dad was a… uh… a 'good-for-nothing scumbag'. She gets all sad when she talks about him, so I dunno about getting married."

"My Grandmother told me that I have to get married one day." Hornton shrugs. "But I don't really think about it."

"So you've never thought about your wedding?" you ask.

Ace shoves you. "You're the only one who has! You're always reading those kissing books."

"So?"

"Kissing books?" Hornton repeats.

"They're called romance and they're good!"

"Real life is grosser," says Ace. You shove him. "Hey!"

"What if we did our own wedding?" Jack interjects. Everyone pauses to look at him. "It can be like training. For when Ace's brother has his, I mean."

"Yeah but who would be who?" Deuce glances over at you, then Hornton. "Why don't you guys play the people getting married?"

"Huh?"

"Oh, yeah! Me 'n Ace 'n Jack 'n Deuce will put up the… the thing!"

"Thing?"

"A chuppah! We gotta make a chuppah!"

"We gotta get some big sticks!"

"I think I saw some branches over on the other side of the tree."

"Nice, Jack! Hey, you 'n Hornton should make some rings! We'll be right back!" Deuce scurries off with the other boys, leaving you and Hornton standing in a stunned silence.

“What?”

“I guess we’re playing wedding?” You shrug and start looking for wildflowers. Hornton watches you with wide eyes. You glance over at him. “C’mon! Help me make the rings!”

He crouches down next to you. Giving you a helpless look, he holds his hands to his chest in hesitation. “Um… how do we do that?”

“We’ll get some flowers and tie the stems! Like making flower crowns! Oh oh oh! We should make flower crowns, too!”

“Oh. I’ve never made a flower crown before. Can you show me?”

“Yeah!” You kneel next to him with a fistful of brightly-colored wildflowers. Hornton watches in rapt attention as you slowly weave their stems together, forming a ring just big enough to fit you as a bracelet. He claps when you present it. Then, without a word, you reach up and drop it onto one of his horns. Hornton sits in stunned silence for a moment before he blushes and mumbles a quiet thanks. He takes the leftover flowers and carefully weaves a crown for you, this one large enough to actually be a crown. His brow furrows as he finishes the crown and then places it on your head. Giggling, you touch the petals. “Thank you, honey!” “H-Honey?”

“Yeah! That’s what the ladies in my romance books call their gentlemen! If we’re getting married I should call you that!”

“Oh!” He smiles, shoulders hunched, then grabs one of the few remaining flowers. “Here, uh, honey. I’ll make your ring.” He winds the stem around your left ring finger, sticking his tongue out in deep concentration. Once he’s knotted the stem, he uses a claw to snip off the excess. Without your prompting, he holds out his own left hand for you to do the same.

“We match!” you whisper-shout, holding your hand next to his.

“Mhm!” His tail thump thump thumps behind him. “Wait, let me try something…” Hornton leans over and touches your flower crown and ring. A bright green light envelops the both of you, and you gasp and squeeze your eyes shut. Once it fades, you crack open one eye. The flowers seem unchanged.

“What’d you do?”

“I tried a spell my Grandmother taught me. It’s s’posed to keep plants from withering!” He twists the flower ring on his finger. “I mean, I don’t know if I did it right, but if I did then we’ll always have these!”

“I like that.” You take off your own ring and cradle it in your palm. “I like it.”

A holler from Epel breaks your focus, and you turn to look at the oak. Beneath it, the boys have stuck four massive branches in the ground. Now, they’re arguing over who will give up their jacket to use as a canopy. Beside you, Hornton sighs and takes off his cloak. With a flick of his wrist, it floats up to rest atop the branches and shade the ground beneath it. The boys shut up, seeing the matter settled.

“Okay, I think we gotta start with… uh…” Deuce frowns and scrunches up his nose. After a long moment of deliberation, he looks at the rest of you helplessly.

“You gotta give each other your rings!” Ace shouts.

You tilt your head. “But we already did that while you were getting the sticks.”

“Then give them back and do it again!”

“Why?”

“‘Cause you gotta!”

You roll your eyes but slide the flower ring off your finger. Hornton does the same, cradling his delicately in his palm. You drop yours in his hand and take his. Pinching the stem between your fingers, you glance over at Ace. “Aren’t you supposed to say something?”

“I’m not the one who’s… uh…” His nose scrunches up as he thinks for a moment. “Mom called them an o-fish-ant?”

“You’re not a fish,” Deuce supplies helpfully.

“It’s ‘officiant’, stupid,” you interject. “Did you guys even pick someone for that?”

“I’ll do it,” says Jack, “‘cause if I don’t, this’ll never be done. And then I’ll miss lunch and my mom will yell at me.”

“You’re taking this way too seriously.” Ace folds his arms behind his head. “We’re just playing!”

“A wedding’s a wedding.”

“Whatever, do your fish thing!” “It’s ‘officiant’!”

Jack clears his throat. You and Hornton turn to give him your rapt attention. His nose scrunches up and one fluffy ear flicks at the air a few times before he begins speaking. “Uh, we’re gonna… start with you giving each other your rings.” He pauses, pursing his lips. “... Go on. Do it.”

You raise your left hand dutifully, and Hornton slides the flower ring onto your finger. You do the same for him. Both he and Jack look so serious about this that it’s hard not to giggle. “Okay, now what?”

“Um…”

“Oh! I remember one’a my cousins got married and she walked ‘round her husband a bunch!”

“That sounds weird.”

“It was! But she did it!”

“How many times did she do it?”

“I dunno.”

“Wouldn’t you get dizzy?” Deuce mumbles.

“I mean, she seemed fine.”

You glance at Epel, shrug, then look back at Hornton. “Wanna do it?” He nods eagerly. Again, you try not to giggle. Hornton beams. “Okay, I’ll go first! Epel, how many times should I do it?”

“Uh… I dunno, until you start getting dizzy?”

“Bet I can do more than you,” you whisper to Hornton. He stares at you, wide-eyed, then grins so sharply you barely recognize him.

“Bet you’re wrong.”

You both laugh. Taking a deep breath, you start to walk around and around and around Hornton. He spins with you, wobbling. Meanwhile, your friends count every lap. One, two, three, four — you get to seven, and decide to tap out. Hornton puffs out his chest and, a little green in the face, starts circling you, instead. He also makes it to seven.

“Aw,” you mutter. “It’s a tie.”

“I totally could’ve beat you if I went first.” You stick your tongue out at Hornton. He giggles to himself. Then, he turns to Jack. “So, uh, what next?”

“Umm…” Jack’s face screws up in contemplation. His ears swivel back and forth for a moment, before he hesitantly replies, “Uh… you’re married now?”

“I don’t think that’s it,” you say.

“Aren’t we s’posed to… kiss?”

You stare at Hornton, who appears just as flustered as you now feel. “I think so.”

“Wait!” Ace reaches into his coat pocket and retrieves a small pinecone. He sets it on the ground between you and Hornton. “You’re supposed’ta crush it first!”

“Isn’t it supposed to be glass?” Jack asks, and Ace shoves him. “Hey!”

“Do you wanna go get glass to step on?”

“... No.”

“‘Kay, then pinecone it is!” He gestures enthusiastically at the pinecone. “Crush it! Go! Go! Go!”

You squeeze Hornton’s hand, giggling, and in unison you both lift a foot and crush the pinecone under your feet. It gives a loud, crackling crunch, and its little seed pockets burst and go flying. Your friends hoot and holler in celebration.

“‘Kay, now you need to kiss!” Ace declares.

Hornton turns beet red. “Kiss?”

“Like, for real?” you squeak.

“Uh, yeah, otherwise it’s not a wedding.”

You fidget with your ring, face hot. Hornton stares at you with wide, uncertain eyes. All the while, your friends (well, everyone but Jack) chant, “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”

You’re the one to take the initiative. Squeezing your eyes shut, you lean in and give Hornton a brief, chaste kiss. It lasts only for a second, and from his startled squeak, it’s almost as if he expected that nothing would ever happen. Behind you, Epel and Ace gag dramatically.

“Ewww, you actually did it!” Epel shakes you by the shoulders and cackles through his words. “Gross!”

“You wanted us to kiss!” you protest. Before you can say more, he lifts you on his shoulders. Your words become a shrill squeal, and you can see Ace and Deuce struggling to lift Hornton, as well. “EPEL! PUT ME DOWN!”

“You’re married!” he crows. “You kissed someone!”

For his part, Hornton buries his face in his hands while Ace and Deuce finally manage to lift him up together.

“Uh… mazel tov,” Jack mumbles.

“We’re not actually married!” Even as you say this, you can’t help your rosy cheeks, nor the way your heart races as you meet Hornton’s electric gaze. He smiles bashfully as he grips Ace and Deuce’s shoulders for balance.

Hours later, after you and Hornton and your friends have spent the rest of the day dancing together and chatting and playing tag, you and Hornton are the only ones left at the park. Everyone else went home as the sun began to set. You run your fingers over your ring’s petals, fascinated by their softness.

“Did you have fun?” you ask, voice small. “I know my friends can be a lot…”

“Yeah.” A faint flush brings life to Hornton’s pale face. He smiles, and the sun casts him in gold. “I haven’t had this much fun in forever. Thank you.” For a moment, he hesitates, then he reaches to grab your hand. “Um… will you be here tomorrow?”

You nod, perhaps a little too enthusiastically. “Mhm! Do you… wanna read together, maybe?”

It’s as if the sun is rising again when he beams. He gives your hand a squeeze. “I’d like that.”

Though you’re loath to leave, you force yourself to give Hornton a squeeze in return before you pull back. “I gotta go before Mister Crowley starts worrying. Bye, Hornton.”

“Goodbye.”

—

When you go home, you can’t stop yourself from spinning the flower ring on your finger. Crowley asks you what you’re giggling about over dinner, and all you do is grin and show him the ring and crown. He rolls his eyes, muttering about children and their whimsies (whatever that means), and shoos you off to bed once you’ve finished and cleaned up. Before you crawl under the covers, you take off the flowers and place both pieces delicately on your nightstand.

The next day, once school is over, you run to your oak tree. You’re wearing your ring again, unable to stop looking at it and its perfectly-maintained petals. With an excited shout of “HORNTON!” you swing around to the other side of the tree.

And it’s empty.

Your heart drops.

‘Maybe he’s doing something with his grandma?’

The next day, you approach your tree again, less enthused and more nervous. He’s not there.

‘I thought we were gonna play together again.’

Day after day, you check your tree. Day after day, you’re greeted with no sign of the boy you’d started to befriend. Spring turns into summer. Ace’s brother gets married, and all you can think about during the ceremony is a scaly black tail thump thump thumping against the ground. When the leaves of your oak tree begin to turn gold and orange and red, you stop checking.

The ring and the flower crown remain just as pristine as they were the day they were made. You leave the crown on your dresser and wear the ring to class every day.

Years pass. You grow up. Your friends start taking extra lessons after classes a few times a week to train their magic. A new teacher from the city starts to visit, a young man named Divus Crewel. He teaches chemistry and alchemy, and you take to it like a fish to water. The private lessons you get from him almost help to soothe the beast of envy that grows in your chest every time you leave your friends to their magic classes. By the time you turn 13, the ring no longer fits. You keep it and the crown in a little wooden box tucked lovingly beneath your bed. Sometimes, you take them out and marvel at how little they’ve changed. Your friends, however, change just as rapidly as you do. Their magical prowess grows at a startling rate. You content yourself with cheering from the sidelines and working on your alchemical skills. Ace and Deuce try to bind Grim to you as a familiar first when you’re 16 (It doesn’t work, but your hair briefly catches fire). They next try when you’re 18 (It almost works. Crowley says it may have to do with your utter lack of any magic. You try not to feel resentful.). At last, on your 19th birthday, they succeed. It’s quite possibly the best gift you’ve ever gotten; Grim’s life is prolonged for as long as he’s bound to you.

By 20, you and your friends (by some miracle) all get accepted to the university in the city, the same one that Professors Trein and Crewel teach at. You start working under Crewel as a student alchemist (He says you’re one of his most promising students, especially because you have no magic to use as a shortcut. For once, you don’t wilt at the mention of magic.). You see your first real gargoyle on one of the older campus buildings. You take a photo, your mind conjuring up a fanged grin and excited electric green eyes. ‘Does Hornton still like gargoyles?’ you wonder as you save the photo. Years later, at your graduation ceremony, you take another photo of the gargoyle. Now, it’s decorated with a few fabric-flower leis that your fellow graduates managed to get over its head. ‘Look, Hornton, the gargoyle is celebrating, too!’

You return to your hometown after receiving your degree. Crowley graciously allows you to stay at home (although you suspect he might just like having another hand to help around the house) while you continue your work as an alchemist. Crewel has hired you full-time as a lab assistant. Every day you take the train into the city for work. Sometimes, when you get all caught up in your head and the novelty of watching the world pass by through the window, you find yourself reaching for your left ring finger to twist a ring that isn’t there.

‘It’s been almost twenty years,’ you chastise yourself, ‘why are you still thinking about that boy?’

Despite your age, your experience in romance is limited to the cheesy romance novels and cheap bodice-rippers that populate your bookshelf, interspersed between your textbooks and notebooks. For some reason, you could never bring yourself to try dating. Every time the thought comes to you, you feel the phantom sensation of a soft stem wrapped around your finger. Your friends tease you about it. Ace calls you a dweeb. Epel says you’re acting foolish over a stupid game you played as children. Deuce laughs and does a pantomime of your fake wedding. Jack just shakes his head knowingly. He’s the most understanding about it — wolves mate for life, and he gets why you would take a play-wedding to heart. That doesn’t stop him from getting a jab or two in on occasion, though.Some days, you pull the box out from under your bed and look at the flowers. As always, they look just as perfect as the day they were picked. Now that you’re older, you’ve learned more about magic. The spell required to make and maintain such perfect preservation requires both skill and a wellspring of magic. The amount of magic alone would send most experienced mages into overblot. This only stokes your curiosity. How did Hornton, a child hardly older than you, cast such a spell with ease? Who was he? It’s a question that haunts you. It’s a question you know you’ll never get an answer to.

[crithaus]

It's 2 am but I'm awake so tlovm fans get this right in the episodes where Percy and gang are retaking Whitestone, specifically the ones where Vax is mind controlled and they've just escaped the residuum melting acid tank, Keyleth and Vex both call him via the magic earrings trying to snap Vax outta being bisexually mind controlled and keyleth gives him a half seconds pause, barely anything but Vex fakes dying in the ACID on her turn, lies through her pearly little teeth to him and that stops Vax dead in his tracks for a second, it's enough to shake him outta damn mind control by former cerberus assembly archmage delilah goddamn briarwood for a moment

I will scream a new singularity into the universe, and they keep talking for a moment actually and right after Matt-as-delilah asks Vax just who tbe fuck he's whispering to he LIES, RAW Vax should have told Sylas and Delilah right then and there that the acid trap failed but he lies by ommission to protect his sister and family and girlfriend, sobs, and then when they're all seconds before the actually ziggurat fight Matt is explaining the parameters of mind control to Liam, yea sure Vox Machina is still technically your friends but the Briarwoods are your new friend-ier friends now and if shit pops off youll be protecting the briarwoods, and Liam's like :/, mostly accurate quote, "so if I see," points to Laura, "her, the most important person in the world to me, I wanna fight her?" Like twinnies on top forever I fear, he would punt scanlan off of the ziggurat for free at that moment but Gods forbid he has to lay a hand on his sister, and then he's like well I'll just guard Delilah's body and not hit anyone anyway, he isn't even willing to entertain the idea of fighting Vex (and co but...)

And then like during the fight after sylas dies, like sam said that tlovm is its own canon and also that the twins specifically got so wicked pulverized throughout the entire campaign that he had to start giving all but their very biggest owies to everyone else so the runtime wasn't 140+ minutes of footage from exandrian intensive care but I'm still SAD about Keyleth getting Delilah's last hurrah attack instead of vex cuz Vex was DYING, in a room with a magic dampening sphere too so no healing and Vax was like hey dm I will run up this 90° wall to reach my sister take those laws of gravity and shove them up ur ass my boy, like she was getting tossed around like a ragdoll, Liam was going to cry it was awesome, he had tunnel vision and it was getting vex somewhere safe and blowing all their useless potions on her, he wouldn't put her down until keyleth started testing fate fucking with the endless abysmal orb, Vex was fine but oh man the future of her death at the hands of something Percy was involved in?? Foretold tens of episodes before, insane how an unscripted dnd game shakes out

Anyway twinnies goes insanely insanely hard in the campaign it's unreal it's wild, Liam spent 2 and a half whole hours in one of his trials of the take episodes mourning by his own admission his sister being gone for about 8 hours away from Him, i am a codependent siblings enjoyer and this shit will feed you

also I fear I need to reiterate, twinnies? Perfect, no notes. Twincest? An abomination, please do not misconstrue my affections here abeg

[twig-tea]

TsukuTabe S2 Is Perfection

I’ve been waffling about what to write about Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna s2, which completed last week (and which we have access to at all thanks to the hard work of @furritsubs). I have had to just give up on getting across how much this show means to me; there's no way I'll be able to communicate these feelings with words. Season 1 was excellent but Season 2 was everything I wanted and more that I didn't know I needed. This is going to be more disjointed than usual because I don't know how to be coherent about this show (and because tumblr ate my first two attempts).

At its core, Tsukuritai Onna to Tabtetai Onna asks what if we were all just a little bit more conscientious and kind to one another? What if women were given space to be themselves and to make the choices that were best for them? This is the world of TsukuTabe, and I'm so grateful to have had the chance to inhabit it over these last four weeks. 

I have so much love for the way Nomoto and Kasuga develop their relationship in conjunction with their relationships with the other women in their lives. Nagumo, Sayama, and Yako are integral to the success of Nomoto and Kasuga’s relationship, and they're also important relationships for the happiness of Nomoto and Kasuga in their own right. The found family vibes are immaculate. 

The conflict between Kasuga and Nomoto this season was so perfectly them; the way they struggled with the transition from friends to lovers and being two people who are kind and giving in a relationship together and how that requires honesty and trust were both familiar conflicts that hit me hard in the feels. 

Kasuga's conflict with her family also hit me really hard. I once did the wrong thing and showed up to support my family in caring for someone who abused me, and it was a horrible experience that was ruinous to my mental health and took years to get over (and in the end they had to find a different solution anyway, which they could have done in the first place). Watching Kasuga refuse to make a similar decision, standing strong in the face of the social pressures of her parents and her aunt was so healing for me. And then to have her decision affirmed by someone of her parent's age? I sobbed in those scenes. 

I also loved the way this season handled Nagumo’s anxiety issues and how she was given space to decide to get professional help on her own time and terms. The way her parents tried to help was also very familiar to me and realistic, and it was just a little heartbreaking how they tried and didn't understand how their attempts at helping added pressure in a way that wasn't helpful. 

The way this show covers this important beats in a person's life through these small, everyday moments, and in such a gentle way, is what I love so much about it. The show itself makes a safe space so that these subjects can come up and not feel overwhelming. 

And it's also really important to me that all of the characters get to have these moments. Sakae not only reflects on her insensitivity and the unfairness of Japan not having marriage equality, but she also reflects on the pressures on her to marry and whether she actually wants that for herself. Fujita not only helps Kasuga gain proxy acceptance for her choices but gets the same back for herself around her decision to divorce. All of these women live in ways that invoke social stigma, and the way this show gives explicit permission to these women to live their best lives is both cathartic and critical.

I can't end this disjointed ramble without talking about the character I most identified with this season, Yako. Yako is an older, self-actualized asexual lesbian who makes friends with Nomoto on the Internet, recommends lesbian films to her, and mostly listens and affirms as Nomoto goes through her own process of discovering herself. I ran a GSA and have been on the Internet a long time, I've been in Yako’s position a lot (though I can only aspire to be as kind and wise). She is so patient and so genuinely happy for Nomoto when she and Kasuga get together, and she seems so quietly thrilled to have more wonderful people in her life willing to indulge her random party ideas. Her sharing a connection to a LGBTQ+-friendly real estate agency while being angry on their behalf that she even has to was perfection. 

It's so important that these characters say the things they say aloud. I want to inscribe every sentence of this show into everyone's brains. This show is perfect, and lovely, and a warm bath, and a hug, and a cup of your favourite warm beverage perfectly fixed to your liking all in one. If you haven't done yourself the favour of watching yet, I highly recommend that you do so immediately. 

[not an ID: Real footage of the entire audience's satisfaction and catharsis after watching TsukuTabe S2. Actual ID in alt text].

[catsushinyakajima]

hey hey I finished reading your "the adults are talking" and you WRECKED ME, like I genuinely don't think you could understand how absolutely ripped apart and splayed open I was. I was crying thick sob tears and putting the fic down, just to pick it back up and immediately start crying again. happened like 4 times.

you wrote it so, so wonderfully, and truly captured insecure Lance in a way that broke me. the characterization in each paladin member was distinctive and fit in the scenario, from their emotional reactions, to their outward displays, to the unique patterns of their speech (and even writing, for Keith n Lance). I loved how you wrote Keith and Lance, but I also absolutely loved the scene where Shiro talks to Lance, cause FUCK, it fucking hurt but was SO in character for him. devastating blow.

also the idea is so perfect? especially for langst?? and executed even more perfectly????? the pacing carried the emotion through it, never too rushed or slow, it was just... perfect.

anyways I'm currently reading through the other KL fics you've got and immensely enjoying the experience, but I needed to tell you how much this fic got to me. you wonderful wonderful writer 🙏

quick link to fic before my response: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59321800

HI HI OKAY SO-

*hands you a tissue for your tears* sorry?? I suppose?? But also your welcome?? I suppose??

It means so much to me that you like my work. Like so much. I'm like squirming with excitement, which is not good because it's causing my laptop to connect/disconnect from charging repeatedly (my charger is weird idk and my laptop's on my lap).

I can never tell how my writing is perceived to others because I'm so used to my words so every time I read it I'm like "okay....ig??" So this is great confirmation that my writing does NOT SUCK THANK YOU!! Thank you very much. It means a lot to my writer heart.

I think speaking is such a valuable and preferred method of communication to Lance. More than having a lot on his mind to say, I think it is a way for him to genuinely connect with people and he puts a lot of weight into his words and the words of people around him (especially if those words are directed at him). I'd like to think that its importance to him is a double edged blade. There are positives such as treasurable interactions, being able to express himself, having a thriving social life, etc. But there are also negatives like over-picking people's words or lack thereof, worrying about saying the wrong thing or too much/too little, putting so much value into his words that it starts to feel meaningless, etc. I wanted to play with the balance between these factors and that's how I came up with this fic!

I'm glad that the way I portrayed his thoughts and feelings resonated with you. I struggle with similar anxieties and it was very natural for me to write Lance's perspective in this fic, so I understand why it would feel personal. I hope that you are never in a situation where uh...you get zapped and your voice box gets paralyzed so you can't speak and are in imminent pain?? But in all seriousness, there is importance to yourself and your words no matter what you or others lead you to believe. Similar to the way I didn't realize the extent of the impact my fic had on people, you might not realize the impact you have on other people. Exhibit A: Your message to me was genuinely so kind and every single sentence you took the time to write means so much to me. I'm definitely coming back to this ask whenever I'm feeling down.

On another note, I feel so bad for making you cry that I'm thinking of writing a Lance Fluff fic to make up for it. What would that be called? If there's Langst, then would that be L' Fluff? Lafluff? L' Hurt/Comfort? If you have any requests or ideas let me know because I'm writing it with you in mind- no pressure, though.

Anyways see you around! I hope you have a good day and week and month and forever and read more good KL fics! Once again, thanks so much for reading!

[lynn-tged-posting]

tged webtoon 162 spoilers and thoughts except i'm a little bit late with them just a tad but it's okay we ball

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.

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i think. genuinely. the art and panels for this episode are my new top tier THEY'RE SO DAMN FUNNY I WAS LAUGHING THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME HAHAHAHAA

LIKE LOOK AT THEM THE DOUBLE TROUBLE DUO EVER I FUCKING LOVE THEIR EXPRESSIONS they're menacing in such different ways but at the same damn level they're so duo i love them so much stupid fucking guys /aff

now back to the top heehee VERKIS GOING STRAIGHT TO THE DAMN MOON

he knew the horror that was about to fall out of lloyds mouth and did not warn anybody bro just went to spectate i love him so much

also a glimpse at the planet lorasia is on!!! yippee yippee! it looks very similar to earth but the continental shapes are different,,, wonder if bk moon will ever write a story thats cross continental!!! is that how u use that term idk

AND CHRIST WAS IT HORRIFYING

LLOYD. LLOYD UR SINGING COULD DESTROY NATIONS. U COULD CONQUER THE WORLD JUST BY CALLING ONE NOTE. THIS IS AUDIO WARFARE WHAT THE HELL WHAT THE HELL this is way too OP HAHAHAHA

ALSO ALSO HIS STANCES BEFORE AND AFTER HOLY FUCK. THE AURA IN THEM I FEEL INSANE lloyd you motherfucker ily so much never stop slaying both literally and metaphorically THE ART IS SO SO FUN

AND THEN THATS HOW RAPHAEL SAYS FUCK LAKDJFLSKDFHAAA HELPP he knew he was done for he could tell. his fucking blank ass face ohhh god i feel so so damn bad for this guy LOL

THAT BACK AND FORTH BY JAVIER AND LLOYD WAS CALCULATED AND ALSO MONSTROUS AS HELL. INSANE MOVE INSANE THEYRE SO FUCKING. AJDFLKJSLDFKJSDFH in sync <3 the boyfs ever beating up angels together <3 i LOVED how much they matched/paired with each other in these panels its so fucking good

SO many matching pfp moments here in this ep and i think these two in particular are my favorite HAHAHAHAAA ive said this before but i love how differently they showcase their menacing behavior hehee

AND THEN RIGHT AFTER THAT THE MOMENT RAPHAEL WAKS UP LLOYD GOES STRAIGHT TO GASLIGHTING. OH MY FUCKING GOD HES SO ANNOYING I LOVE HIM SM

also more duo expressions here heehee i just also really like this panel javier looks like he does Not want to be this Evil despite the fact that he's doing it anyway. lloyd youve taught him so well <3

also poor raphael again god he looks so fucking beat up LMFAOOO just a mf coughing baby :sob emoji:

AND THEN AND THEN. JAVIER BARGING IN he looks so fucking stiff here he's trying his mf best at this role he's found himself playing AHAHAHAHHAA

AND THE FUCKING. THEM HOLDING EACH OTHER BACK I WAS GIGGLING SO FUCKING BAD . ALSO THEM JUST HOLDING AND HUGGING IN GENERAL I LOST MY MIND WHAT THE FUCK. THEY'RE MATCHING THEY'RE MATCHING HAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVED HTIS BIT the timing of it was so gold THEYRE SO FUNNY

javier's sentences being short and stiff he's a terrible fucking actor HAHAHAA

i feel so bad for raphael bro completely fell for it,,, poor little hamster,,, little guy doesnt know whats coming,,, that contract sealed his fate,,,,,,

WE ALSO GOT A >:3 LLOYD I THINK THATS AN IMPORTANT THING TO ADD. NOW WE HAVE A TOTAL OF TWO :3 LLOYDS OFFICIALLY IN THE WEBTOON here is to hoping we get more. its my favorite stupid expression i need more of it. lloyd is so >:3c to me that when i type that i think of him

again tho thats so damn evil of lloyd taking advantage of raphael's naivety :sob: silly guy ilysm

ALSO ALSO. THIS SERIOUS LLOYD MOMENT WHERE HE ACTUALLY MAKES A DAMN GOOD POINT ABOUT HOW THE HEAVENLY REALM HAS BEEN TREATING THE LOWER REALM. OHHHHH THAT WAS SO SO GOOD he's so cool when he's proving a point / spitting fire i love it when he does this and im glad he said smth, i rlly hope raphael can help w the realms and their communication so that shit like the jewel of truth getting illegal'd / other things like that can go smoother

the crossed arms n everything THATS SOOOOO HEHEHEHHEHEE DANCING AROUND

AND THEN NOT EVEN A MOMENT LATER HE GOES STRAIGHT INTO CONTRACT MODE I LAUGHED MY MF ASS OFFF HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

EVIL BASTARD. U AWFUL SCHEMER U. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH HAHAHAHAHAHA

do you think zhongli and lloyd would get along in a weird fucked up kind of way? i do. i think they should form a contract somehow and then fuck around a little bit

anyway im VERY excited to see what lloyd has planned for raphael exactly and also, since the jewel of truth is gonna get finished, what its going to say!!! swear to god fate better be beatable or im going to like. idk. curl up and cry. i need lloyd to finally get the happy ending he wanted, the lavish and carefree life he's been working for his entire life, one that's surrounded by people and family and loved ones and peace peace peace PLEASSSEEE HE'S WORKED SO HARD

sorry about this being mostly reacting too btw im just. eehehehehehe much action not much to say so im just giddy over this ep LOL

thats all from me for now!! see yall next week!!!! (aka tmrw when the update drops. bc this post was a teensy bit late. heehoo)

[66sharkteeth]

WEEKLY THOUGHTS ON THIS WEEK'S EPISODE! Though tbh I think I covered a chunk of it last week-

This Claude arc has been some of the writing I'm most proud of in the entire comic, and I'm so happy other people are enjoying it too. Seeing Claude go from the series' punching bag to someone seemingly everyone's screaming over and pitying really feels like an accomplishment to me and I'm so glad even the people who don't love Claude are at least sympathizing with him (the vast majority anyway). Also shout out to Claude's leg for increasing my FP sales. I can't express enough how much my FP revenue's been impacted ever since the return. I got literally less than half of my usual income this month (when I needed it most lol) but the FP numbers *almost* returned to their old average this week, so thanks everyone who fast passed to see the fate of Claude's leg lol.

This is one of those episodes that was a long time coming and I have some kind of strong feelings about it. I've been planning to lop of his leg since high school, but I did admittedly start to get a pit in my stomach the closer it got. By the time these episodes publish, I'm usually over it and laughing to cope (see above), but I hope at least a few people were as disturbed as I was writing it. Which...I know sounds mean, but I really admire media that can get that feeling out of me (without going over the top and scarring me) and it's something I hope I can achieve too. Some of the most important pieces of media that influenced me growing up (FMA, some animations that inspired CoB, Paranoia Agent, etc), really gave me a gut-sinking level of disturbance as a kid, but boy I'm glad I saw them because they sure made an impact in a way that I think made me a stronger writer, and that's one of those things I hope I can achieve.

Anyway, to address a few points I'm seeing throughout the comments- 1. Jericho's reaction. I left it kind of vague on purpose. I have no comment on it and just leave you guys to speculate on how he will react or encourage you to FP to find out (sob please).

2. people legitimately criticizing joking about claude's leg. which is interesting to me. obv there's a lot of jokes and leg puns throughout the comments, and soooometimes I don't like that when a very serious episode's comment section is filled w/ nothing but jokes, buuut there are also enough real comments of concern and speculations and analysis of the ep that i really, really don't mind some leg jokes and puns, personally. like...as you can tell from the image above, even I'm not above making them. To the people who think it's actually fucked up for us to joke about this scene... I dunno. I personally laugh to cope, and I think a lot of other people are doing the same. I don't think anyone's literally going "LOL HE'S SO DEPRESSED HE MUTILATED HIMSELF," I think its just...funny leg puns to make a dark situation a little lighter. At least for the most part. I'm certainly not above joking about it, but as you'll see in the next episode, I'm also obviously taking it seriously and don't plan to make Claude such a butt of jokes now that he's reached this point. That would just be in bad taste. But... I think a leg pun here and there is still in line.

[friendly-neighborhood-furry]

sometimes the state of the world makes me want to go outside and scream as loud as i can for help. sometimes it makes me want to crawl deep into a hole and never come back out again. sometimes it makes me want to fall to my knees and sob uncontrollably. sometimes it seems so hopeless that i cant see any better alternative other than just disappearing.

so much evil and destruction and suffering-- and for what?

what is it all for?

for the latest popular billionare to take a 13 minute flight? for the newest remake of a movie that changed my life to get turned into mindless sludge? for a never-before-seen species of animal to be discovered, then pronounced extinct the very next week? for millions of people to go broke for having cancer?

i tell my mother that i wont be able to afford a house. she says "no, you will." i tell my counselor that my government wants to kill me. she says "that's not true." i tell my teachers i don't see a point in doing well in school because i wont be able to get a job anyway, even if i have a college degree. they tell me "no, you'll get a job. school is still important." i email my senators begging them to stop funding the genocide in Palestine. i get a copy-pasted email back with a history lesson about why that wont happen. one million people died from COVID last Christmas and i'm the only one at my school still wearing a mask. my future as an artist was ripped from my hands in less than two years and pretty soon i wont be able to share anything about my art at all. i'm half mexican, but everybody says i'm "too white" to be a "real mexican". its been four years and i'm nowhere closer to understanding my gender identity than i was at the start. tumblr has been my only safe space for three years and now that KOSA might pass this week, where will i go?

and all the while, through all of this conflict-- people are still falling in love for the first time and rescuing kittens off the street and watching their children take their first steps and getting married and making fun little indie games and building elaborate cosplays of their favorite character and making the most heart-touchingly beautiful pieces of art you've ever seen and meeting lifelong friends and cooking amazingly delicious food and playing children's games and weaving baskets from pine needles and taking care of livestock and collecting little knick-knacks and having the best day of their lives and writing their first line of code and learning to play instruments and hatching baby birds and posting a 100K word thesis about a show they really like and uploading song covers for 19 people on Youtube to listen to and pushing the boundaries of what science can accomplish and discussing moral philosophies in the comment section of a Reddit post and feeling truly seen in the eyes of another human being for the first time in their lives and growing old surrounded by the people they love.

the future is uncertain, but the world will go on. the winds will still blow and the tides will still flow. people will continue to find joy in this hell and fight for it with everything they have.

so don't give up.

"don't give up," i tell myself.

"don't give up," i tell you.

"don't give up," i scream into the sky.

there is always something to keep going for. if you cannot find it in yourself, find it in others. find it in the people in your life and the people you see online. find it in the good of humanity you know to exist.

find it. keep fighting. don't give up.

[usoppinggg]

(hiiii sorry in advance if this is uhhh hard to understand? im not great at putting it into words lol,,,,)

i saw the post abt re-reading syrup village arc and it made me eager to re-read it myself and like i finished it a few hours ago and. i dont think im ever gonna get over the extremely obvious tones of like. priviledge and how it effects different ppl and how sumtimes it effects how you see other ppl and who your more willing to trust (yes this is in regards to kaya)

BECUASE. AUGH. the slap....... the moment kaya slaps usopp........... after EVERYTHING after he goes to see her day after day and makes her smile and proves again and again all he wants is to see her happy and be her friend and use his lies to weave interesting stories and be remembered. and it doesnt matter because kaya believed kuro (a privileged rich white person like her) over usopp (an under-privileged poc who was widely looked down upon in the community) OUGHHH. OUGHH..... ill never get over it,,,,,,,,,,,,, like i understand she came around in the end BUT THE IMPLICATIONS,,, THE WAY IT ALL GOES DOWN. idk maybe im just insane and projecting but its soooo fuckin. it speaks so much and it makes me just. so sad and angry and i hate her but i love her also (hate that she did that, love her generally lol). anyways i rlly love the syrup village arc it makes me fucking insane and i hope you have an amazing day<333333

Thank you for this because even before that post came on my dash I was thinking about how mad I was that all of Usopp's friends on Syrup were so quick to turn on him!

It's funny though because like, undercover Kuro doesn't even have (his own) privilege. Before his secret came out, Kuro had nothing. He ended up on Syrup with nothing but his fabricated sob story. Any and all privilege he may have had was granted to him by Kaya and her family when they took him in and hired him, and he was able to build his reputation because of that.

His image as a polite, responsible, well-off butler was juxtaposed with Usopp's reputation as a poor, trouble-making orphan. Kuro continued to sew seeds of doubt in Kaya's mind regarding Usopp's bad influence on her, which I think is what ultimately led Kaya to doubt Usopp during that dire moment.

I try to give Kaya the benefit of the doubt when it comes to her betrayal of Usopp because she was young, depressed, and manipulated, but I find it very difficult to do so. We know that Kaya has fond memories of Kuro and they presumably spent a lot of time together as he cared for her. But still, I can't imagine how that relationship could've been more important to her than her relationship with Usopp.

Usopp is her age and (as far as we know) her only friend! He came by day after day to tell her stories to lift her spirits! She was literally worrying herself into sickness, so Usopp's stories prevented her from getting even sicker. She even argued with Kuro when he spoke poorly of Usopp when she wanted him to visit! All of this points to their close friendship, and yet she was so quick to assume the worst of him when Usopp was trying to warn her of Kuro's plan to kill her. She was so angry that she slapped him. It's so unfathomable to me even now, and I remember how upset I was the first time I saw that scene. (She was able to slap Usopp when she thought he lied but was unable to shoot Kuro when her life was in immediate danger. I always found that interesting.)

Ultimately, I know that Kaya initially taking Kuro's side was all for the ~drama~ but as an Usopp stan, I can't help but be upset at her on his behalf. We all know that most of Usopp's "lies" are actually his dreams or are simply stories where he is the main character. He doesn't lie about important things. I think it's safe to assume that Kaya knew this given how long they'd been friends, and yet...........!

I'm sure that having Kaya (and the Veggie Pirates) disbelieve Usopp despite knowing him for so long was set up to contrast the way that Luffy and the others instantly knew what his plan was. But at the surface level, yeah, it just seems like Kaya valued the opinion of her privileged, fair-skinned butler over the words of her poor, dark-skinned friend, and it's so, so upsetting.

You said it well, I love Kaya, but I hate how she treated Usopp in this moment. The Syrup Village arc also makes me Insane so thank you for giving me a chance to ramble about it!

Feel free to hit up my inbox about any other One Piece thoughts, especially when Usopp is involved <3

[poppy-metal]

BE SELF INDULGENT WITH YOUR WRITING DO IT NOBODY CAN STOP YOU BE A FREAK 🔥💪💪🔥💪🔥🔥

i have like very specific scenarios i wanna write abt some day or just talk about like

okay tmi for very personal darksided kinks LMFAO. like do NAWT read if you dont fuck w cnc, noncon, cucking, cheating, ddlg, incest ect. look AWAY

i wanna write about cnc like the genuine feelings of fear and panic as you're made aware of your own helplessness under someone else (looks at patrick) and then the euphoric release of being made to cum because it feels so good to be overpowered and have your cunt forced open. being able to act out the reluctance and to cry and and sob as loud as you want and not have the pounding stop, because you haven't safeworded, but its that panic regardless of oh hes not listening oh i can't stop this oh its gonna happen anyway. coming around them so hard it feels transcendent.

the other one is based on my fear of not being good enough like I've been cheated on alot, and one instance specifically my boyfriend at the time said "im gonna fuck someone in front of you and make you watch" and it stuck with me like it truamatized me LMAO to the point where i physically couldn't bear remembering it without getting violently ill. but then i developed a kind of fascination with the kink of infidelity like I'll watch alot of porn about it and then feel wrong about it afterwards. not being good enough is very much a trigger for me, being excluded is a trigger for me but i think something bordering just on the line of that - like being cucked consensually would heal me. like i think about it with art and tashi or patrick and tashi where they make me watch them together to the point where its bordering on the point of being just too much - where im about to say my safeword because i cant take being ignored anymore - and then they bring me in, and all the attention is on me and im showered with love. its like, having my worst fear played out in front of me (being cheated on, being left out, being ignored) and then being shown that fear isn't a reality - that im important and special and loved and they make me cum and i feel liberated from this vile thought that they'd leave me for eachother, because I make them complete. LMAO its fucked up i know but thats what truama does baby.

the other one..... I've struggled with alot and is kinda controversial but its in the sense of it not being real and being consensual but ddlg.... (and i used to hate this kink for the shame it brought me and the trauma i had w it) like i dont want to just call someone 'daddy' i want to ACT OUT the fantasy of them being my father or my parental figure and I'm their little girl and they just cant help themselves they have to touch my pussy. they have to show me they love me by sliding inside me because this is how daddy loves me. and if i love him back i wont fight him or tell him its wrong I'll accept it with open legs because i want to be taken care of

i have more but baby steps.... not all trauma needs to be processed rn

[riordanness]

stranger - [l.valdez]

1.5K wordcount

warnings: angst

requested: no

prompt: you have the power to forget anyone if you say the word ‘stranger’ to them

"All you care about it your stupid machines!" I spat at my best friend, slamming my hand on a workbench in frustration. My voice was trembling, and my hands shook.

"All you care about is wasting my time!" Leo shot back, tears in his eyes. He blinked repeatedly, forcing them away.

"Wasting your time?" I scoffed. "That's what you call wanting to be around you? You're my best friend, and- and-" I swallowed back a sob.

Leo didn't take any notice, his attention already back on his newest invention, whatever it was. We were in Bunker Nine, the only place Leo ever spent any time in anymore. I barely saw him outside of his favourite workplace, and if I did, it wasn't for very long.

I had to come to the bunker to talk to my best friend, and ever then, our conversations were mostly one-sided, Leo being preoccupied with whatever gadget he was working on.

I felt like I was losing him, and it hurt, bad.

"Look," Leo said finally, "I don't have time to waste arguing with you, so either shut up or stay here, I don't care."

"Leo, I really need to talk to you. It's important." I stared at him, ashamed at how pathetic I sounded. I did want to talk to him, and it was kind of important. Today was the day I planned to finally tell Leo about my feelings for him. They'd been there for months now, ever since I'd first met him, really.

But recently those feelings had been growing burning hot. I could barely stand how much I liked the short Latino boy I called my best friend. In fact, if I was serious with myself, I was deeply in love with him.

"I don't have time for you."

Leo's words stung like nothing else ever had. I was so stunned I actually stumbled back a few steps, hot tears blurring my vision.

"Leo..." I began to cry, bawling like a child into my hands. I felt absolutely, ridiculously pathetic, but I truly couldn't help it.

"Look, just leave me alone, please," Leo said dismissively. "I'm really busy, and you're kind of bugging me."

I couldn't take this. It hurt too much. I'd promised myself I'd never use my power (or curse as I preferred to call it), but this was the final straw. I didn't want to live with this pain any longer.

"Stranger," I whispered, and crumpled to the ground.

***

"Y/N!"

My eyes slowly fluttered open, and the first thing I saw were a pair of concerned looking brown eyes, which were filled with tears.

I pushed myself up onto my elbows, and found myself lying on a battered old couch in a large workshop.

I blinked a few times, then looked at the person who'd been crouching beside me.

"Y/N...?" the Latino boy asked me, worry and guilt in his eyes, though I wasn't sure why. I didn't even know this kid.

"Who are you?" I asked softly, frowning a little in confusion.

"No..." the boy mumbled, tears spilling over his cheeks. "No, no, no. I'm so freaking stupid!" He kept muttering angrily at himself, and I couldn't help but feel a little bad for him.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked him, gingerly placing my hand on his arm. "Don't beat yourself up over it, whatever it is. I'm sure it wasn't your fault. And anyways, if it was, I'm sure you can fix it."

My words, while I intended them to help, only seemed to worsen the boy's despaired crying.

I looked on nervously, while this boy I didn't even know cried his heart out next to me.

"Um..." I said after a few minutes. "Where are we? And who are you, anyways? I need to get back to Camp Half-Blood -- its my home..." I paused. "Why a, I in this workshop? How did I get here? And who even are you?"

The boy slowly met my eyes. "My name is Leo Valdez," he said gravelly. "And we're in the secret bunker in the middle of the woods at Camp Half-Blood. Don't worry, I'll take you back in a minute."

I smiled. "Okay, thanks."

I settled myself into a more comfortable sitting position on the old brownish vouch, and watched curiously as the boy hurried to clean up a mess he'd aapparently made while building something.

"I am so sorry."

Leo's words startled me. "What for?" I asked in surprise. "You didn't do anything. I've never even met you before just now."

"You have the power to forget someone when you say 'stranger'," the boy replied miserably.

My eyes widened slightly, and I swore my heart skipped a beat. How did he know-? There was only one way... and it made me depressed just thinking about it.

"Did I..." My voice failed me. "Did I make myself forget you?"

The boy's expression told me all I needed to know.

"Oh." Even to myself, my voice sounded small. "I'm sorry." I meant it. I had no idea who this boy was, or what he had meant to me, but it was all gone now. Permanently, irreversibly, completely gone. All I could do was make new memories, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to. Who knew why I'd decided to forget him.

"Why did I do it?" I asked cautiously, watching Leo to gauge his reaction.

"Because I'm a stupid asshole," he replied. "You are- you were, my best friend, and I was stupid... I told you I never had time for you, and that spending time with you was wasting it."

I was quiet, listening. My fingers played with a loose thread from the couch's armrest.

"I was lying," Leo continued, "to you, and myself. I- I'd fallen in love with you, Y/N, and it scared me. I said I didn't have time for you because I was terrified that you'd be weirded out. That you'd not want to be friends anymore, or something. I-I know this is really weird, and I know you don't even remember me-"

His voice trembled, and I sensed that if he said anything more, he'd cry. I decided not to make him say anything.

I got up off the couch, and slowly stepped over to him. "Hey..." I started. "Don't worry..." I stopped myself. Why wouldn't he worry? Clearly, this was my fault, but he was blaming himself. Maybe he'd played a part in making me want to forget him. I wasn't sure, but I didn't want Leo to beat himself up over this. I wasn't worth that.

"I-" Leo shook his head. "I'm so freaking sorry, Sunshine."

"S-Sunshine?" I asked, my breath hitching. Maybe I didn't remember him, but something deep inside of me recognised that nickname.

Leo's face went red. "I'm sorry," he stammered. "That's what I used to call you, you know, before-" He blushed, looking down sadly. "Because, you know, you're a daughter of Apollo and he's the sun god, and--"

I stopped his rambling with a sudden hug, surprising us both. "Like I said, don't worry about it," I told him. "I- I think I made a mistake in making myself forget you. I really want to be friends again, if that's okay with you."

I watched his eyes light up. "Yes, yes please," Leo almost begged, squeezing me tightly. "I am never ever gonna forgive myself for making you so sad you wanted to forget me, but I don't want to lose you for anything."

I managed a smile, and sent a quick prayer to my dad, hoping he'd listen to me.

Hey dad? Please undo my curse. I mean, super awesome blessing from you. Just this once, please. I think- I think I was in love with this boy, and I don't want to lose that. Please let me remember him.

A few seconds later, I gasped, blinking a few times. "Oh my gods, Leo!" I said. "It- it worked! I-I remember you!"

Leo stared at me. "Really? But-"

"My, uh, power- it's from my dad, and I asked him for a huge favour and begged him to undo it just this once. Because..." I went red. "I had a feeling, and well, it turns out I was right."

"A feeling about what?" Leo asked curiously, fiddling with his tool belt.

"I had a feeling I had been in love with you before I, uh, chose to forget." I grinned sheepishly, kicking the ground with the edge of my sneaker. "And I was right."

Leo's smile was brighter than my dad's sun chariot, and his kiss filled me with much more warmth, too.

[friday-answers]

HI first of all the last excerpt???? EXCUSE ME THIS WHOLE PLOT IS SO FUNNNN I absolutely love Solus already!!!! Can’t wait to know more about the agency and the sinkholes… Lots of love and thank you again for sharing this beautiful piece of your mind with us 🫶🫶

Secondly I’m here to discuss s3! Spoilers incoming:

What are your thoughts on Imogen and Sahar? I am actually really happy with the whole thing (even if my soft romantic heart is still kind of hoping they end up together haha, I am full of contradictions okay?)

And Tori and Micheal? I literally cried every time they appeared on screen I love them SO much, I was just a little disappointed Tori did´t get to say she’s asexual like she does in the comic… hoping it will be there if there’s a fourth season

And Isaac? My baby was going through it this season, that whole journey was so beautiful and refreshing imo

ALSO Darcy this season!!!! Aaahh I love them so much, as a lesbian who’s only recently started to question my own gender seeing them discover themself like that was so so lovely

I also really loved how Charlie’s relationship to his parents was showed, I thought it was done really well! And Nick starting to realise he needs to figure out who he is without his boyfriend 🥺

Anyway I’ve yapped enough haha, feel free to answer this with as short or long of an answer as you want, and just give general comments on what you thought of the season, I just enjoyed getting to scream about this hehehehe 🥰🤓

omg first of all thank you for the hype 🤭... i'm also very excited about it too... while i have a plan for the most part, i pretty much have no clue about how i'm going to get to each point either so... y'know makes it fun and mysterious for me too!

i love yapping about season 3 i'm HYPED

imogen and sahar, obviously not a surprise. lesbian imogen also i fear we knew from season 1 but having that comphet representation is HUGE!!! i'm really excited about that.

i keep joking that imogen and sahar are finally the situationship representation in heartstopper but it is just not a joke anymore. 'better off as friends' my ass SAHAR U WROTE A SONG ABOUT HER

i fell to my knees every time michael holden appeared on screen. his appearance at the nye party GAGGED. ON THE FLOOR. they were so insane for that it was GORGEOUS.

i was genuinely so confused when tori didn't correct charlie on calling them a straight couple. i think i shouted at the screen for them to stay on the wheel because they weren't done LMAO... BUT BUT it totally means a more fleshed out sprolden sexuality arc which i am HYPED about. their relationship is so important to me im so excited for that representation to be more blatant.

everything with isaac happened so fast i got WHIPLASH him coming out to everyone at the zoo i was sobbing that representation is so important to me and just so so nice to see..... argrhfhf. though i almost just blanked out the whole tao isaac thing omg WHAT HAPPENED TO JAMES THEN??? INSANE. that was insane. glad they got past that one quickly god

no because mullet darcy HELLO kizzy looked amazing... non-binary lesbian representation ALSO huge like. GOD THIS SEASON WAS HUGE

no because episode 4 was DEVASTATING. but it was one of my fave episode of television i've ever watched. nick at the halloween party like. oh my god i feel like i still haven't digested it all yet.... charlie's talk with his parents too since they cut away in the comic me and my friend were SCREAMING through tears to cut away like my GOD. but joe did it beautifully and u could tell he really cared :,]

i also yapped incredibly hard. i could really do this for hours, honestly... i'm just so so excited fr. the way the cast was like this season is HOT its STEAMY its SEXY even though. like i've been a comic reader since about 2019. guys i fucken know we gotta get through volume 4 first SIT DOWWWNNN

so funny honestly imagine going into s3 with just THAT info then being hit with the emotional devastation which was eps 1-5. 6-8 were lit though

ok shutting up now. thank u for letting me yap you are the realest mf ever

thank u for all the love once again!!!!!

[cuprohastes]

Lunch In Space (Part 4)

There is an old Human tradition. We keep it alive to this day. When things are Very Bad(tm), for example, your shuttle is about to perform a high-velocity Lithobraking Manouver, you invoke the Ancient Words of the Ancestors. Usually "Oh, sh*t".

I, as I'm sure you're now aware, am culturally sensitive, and cultured, so when chunks of Oscar started becoming Free Range and my life support lit up red, and Oscar's little Atrix-face started doing some very worried little colour combos, I took solace in this hallowed and time-honoured tradition and went with "Ru-ROH".

Now you may be thinking, gee, having your life support blow out while flying around the backside of a planet while everyone is too busy to come to pick you up is bad.

I mean, sure. It literally is.

But what doesn't kill you instantly gives you the opportunity for a really slow, horrible death so you can appreciate it so much more.

I took the life support unit off.

Counter-intuitive, but there you go. I jsut clipped one of my lanyards to the bottom attach point and released all the clips.

All the connectors that move all my various essential fluids and gasses are on failsafe connectors. They close automatically because it'd be super dumb if they didn't.

So now I'm just using passive insulation and things are going to get very hot very soon.

I turned the Life Support unit over and found a... Space Squid. 

I mean that's what it looked like. This conical, bullet-shaped shell,  with tiny little thruster vents, and then on the bottom of the cone, a bunch of little tentacles, sensor windows and what looks like miniature tools.

At first, all I saw was the shell so I grabbed it and yanked it out. I screamed jsut the tiniest amount when it wiggled its tentacles at me, but then it folded up and glared at me, and tried to puff away. 

My mighty human fingers of course were more than a match for this.

My mighty human Brain took a few more seconds to catch up because Oscar wasn't loaded with enough coffee for peak human cognition and I did a comical flail and found two more of the little suckers trying to eat through Oscar's skin.

"I Yeet Thee!" I told them and yanked them off and threw them in the direction of away.

The first little guy was with me but still sulking. I think it was out of gas, to be honest.

So that leaves me inside Oscar, who's rapidly becoming a sauna.

Luckily, I am just covered in tools, patches, and other Fix-things stuff so I started checking the life support pack.

Not good. Squiddy had already chewed some quite important stuff - the valves all closed, but now there's no way to re-circulate a lot of the air supply.

A bit about life support. It's not just a couple of bottles of air mix.

There are coolants, thruster gasses that you just top up while you work, water, which is circulated through Oscar's inner lining, the uh, Yellow and Brown lines, and then the Scrubber which is kind of a back-up and also means you can go longer without an umbilical, or without large air tanks. It also prevents the inside of Oscar from filling up with condensation.

So anyway, the thruster tank and the air tank were basically there but unusable.

Two of four of the batteries were cracked. They got isolated by the technical process of just pulling them out. They're not supposed to be dangerous, but why take the risk?

Oscar was a nice toasty 40ºc by the time I got the life support back on and I almost cried when the cooling started to pull out all that heat.

And then I almost sobbed because Oscar told me I had three and a half hours until station rendezvous and approximately two hours and twenty minutes of life support.

So I shut almost everything down. Inspection lights, most of the computing, interior displays, and after one last use, the uh waste processing.

That got me an extra 40 minutes of power. What else?

Well duh.

My power tools have bi-directional charging. I plugged them into my utility ports and hey OK, now I was only 5 minutes shy. OK.

So what else?

The Scrubber - It's running out of... scrub-ability.

There's a thing you can do that you should never, ever do, because it's suicidally stupid and bad. Honestly, I've always wanted to try it.

I turned the temp down past freezing and told the auto-doc to go to Oetzie mode. 

Now, this isn't an official process. It's one of the macros I've developed in bored moments - I submitted it to a couple of trade journals, both of whom told me I was a dangerous lunatic.

So I asked the Most Dangerous Human.

Miranda is a mutant. She burns 4000Kcal a day sitting still. Her IQ is supposedly about double or more than a normal Genius. She hates her life. Literally everyone in her species is kind of sad and bumbling and unable to grasp concepts she finds simple.

She lacks intellectual stimulation, and just craves novelty or anything that might make her feel for a moment, that she can be part of normal life.

When I met her she was running a comic book store. 

She's considered the most dangerous living human because nobody can figure out if she's going to take a nap, then re-write the rules of linguistics, develop an AI that will take over the Human race or stub her toes and decide to eradicate all living things in a Light Millenium.

As someone who's spent an afternoon shovelling food into her and listening to her do the most hilarious routine on why Comic Books should be weaponised, I can tell you that she has no more ill will toward anyone who doesn't write Justice Interplanetary than the common dog owner has for their pupper.

But Stever Aronnomis and Gixy Lurraine? Your days are numbered. Especially after Issue 17.

Anyway, Mir-Mir took about eight hours and re-wrote the Oetzie protocol, and got published in about 19 interdisciplinary publications. She was nice enough to credit me with the original work, and that got me a job and a weekly visit from the People In Black to check that I'm not also a supervillain or plotting to steal people's essential fluids to make Tsin sports drinks.

Anyway.

Oetzie mode gives you near-fatal hypothermia. It's not quite suspended animation but it's close as you can get while maintaining a really good chance of waking back up.

All I had to do was program a really simple little macro that would ping for immediate assistance and flag the file with re-animation instructions.

Already I was getting chilled. My teeth were chattering and I was trying to relax and jsut lket it happen. My littel budd the spac squid was stuill floting her. gabe it one o th deb bat  klklklkkkkkkkkkk

Ow.

Seriously. I was feeling very disoriented. Everything was too bright and I felt very woozy and my jaw ached, but apart from that, the pins and needles, the way all my clothes felt like broken glass and the uncontrollable shivering, I felt surprisingly not dead.

Also not in Oscar.

I was having trouble focusing my eyes, but hearing I could manage.

Two Tsin were discussing eating me.

Voice One: "Well he's dead. I say we just ask. You know Humans - it's either 'no, you can't because we have a whole bunch of traditions and sacred laws that cannot be broken' or 'haha yeah that's what they'd want' and then they ask you if you want some sauce."

Voice Two: "Yeah but... what if the othre humans get upset that we asked? What if they think we killed this one to get the meat?"

Voice one: "They were in an un-powered EVA suit with no air, and the life support running colder than the Caffeteria Freezer. I don't care what stupid plan they had, not even a Human can survive that."

This is it. The moment that I have been living for all these years. You always hope one day you get the chance, and now finally it's my time to shine!

I sat up and said "Do you two mind? I'm trying to get some sleep."

Their horrified screams were like a warm bath. Ahhhh!

[quijabored]

Spoilers for S4 and first 2 episodes of S5

Im gonna try to not make this very long because I'm going through a what the fuck moment and I do not know how to process this :D (Finished the second episode and immediately went to Tumblr)

(Spoilers, this is very long ✌️)

With that being said

WHAT THE FUCK???

OKAY UH, I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START CUZ LIKE

AAAAAA????

OKAY

OKAY UH

KENJI

HES BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH, GOT STABBED THROUGH THE STOMACH TWICE AND THEN GOT JUST HORRENDOUSLY HURT

LIKE MY POOR BOY

YOSANOS BACKSTORY?? I LOVE IT SO MUCH HOLY SHIT

I HATE MORI SO MUCH

And with my undying hatred for Mori, I can also say he seems incredibly interesting.

I hate that I want to know more about him and I absolutely will, BUT FUCK

Then there was the Agency being split us and-

AAGGHHH IM CRYINGGGG

Not actually, but God damn it I was on the verge of sobbing so many times-

I love this series so much but how the fuck am I supposed to process this-??

ALSO TACHIHARA BEING THE FIFTH GUY LIKE??? AAAA???

I actually hate Fyodor so much oh my god (I want him)

SPEAKING OF FYODOR

SIGMA????

I MET HIM AND LIKE HE MAKES ME SO HAPPY I LOVE HOW DESPERSTE HE IS AND I FINALLY UNDERSTAND THE WHOLE 3 YEARS OLD THING AND JUST AKSKDHJS

ALSO

ATSUSHI HELPING OUT YET ANOTHER PERSON JS LIKE HE DID TO KYOKA?? LIVE LAUGH ATSUSHI BRO HES SO SILLY

AND THEN WHEN HE WAS FALLING OFF THE SKY CASINO I WAS SITTING THERE LIKE WHAT THE FUCK??

I KNEW HE SHOWED UP LATER CUZ OF CLIPS BUT FOR SOME REASON IT JS DIDNT PROCESS AND I WAS GENUINELY ABOUT TO CRY

And then Nikolai saved him :D

LIVE LAUGH NIKOLAI BRO HES SO SILLY

Hes just like me fr except I'm not a Ukranian terrorist :3

ALSO I LOVE TACHIHARA SO MUCH I JUST AAAGHHHHH

JOUNOS KIND OF A BITCH (Ive already signed the adoption papers, I love him so much he seems really interesting-)

AND MY BBG TETCHOU???

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE SEEMS SO SILLY AND EVEN IF HE HASNT HAD MUCH SCREEN TIME I JUST AAAGHHHH

Also fuck Fukuchi

LIKE I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST A SILLY GUY

"Now I just have to hope no one becomes a character I absolutely despise :3"

YEAH NO I WAS WRONG CUZ WTF

And then during the whole scene where he was talking with Ranpo and he was like "the president trusts you, so do I."

AT THAT POINT IT KINDA CLICKED AND I WAS LIKE "Oh shit its Fukuchi isnt it."

BUT THEN I HAD NOTHING TO GO OFF OF AND I DIDNT WANNA SIT AND THINK IN THE MIDDLE OF A VERY IMPORTANT EPISODE

OH BEFORE I START YAPPING ABOUT THAT

RANPO JUST ABSOLUTELY SAVING EVERYONE??? I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OH MY GOD HE JUST LIKE ME FR

AAAAAA AND THEN THE WAY HE TALKS ABOUT FUKUZAWA LIKE AAGHH THEYRE FAMILY :(

AAAA AND THEN POE BEING THERE LIKE AKSHAKJDS SEEING MY SON IN A SUIT WAS SO SILLY ITS LIKE WATCHING YOUR CHILDREN GO OFF TO PROM OR A WEDDING I THINK-

AND THEN POE BEING SUPER HAPPY ABOUT HELPING AND RANPO PUSHING HIM ASIDE PLEASE I LOVE THEM

ANYWAYS BACK TO FUKUCHI

THEN RANPO STARTED EXPLAINING ALL THE EVIDENCE AND I SAT THERE AND I WAS TRYING SO DAMN HARD TO BE LIKE "Pshhhh- No waayy Fukuchis actually a really really really bad person right??"

AND THEN HE WAS

I HATE THIS SHOW SO MUCH (I dont I love this show it has been my hyperfixation for so long please help I have dreams about bsd this is just like my Danganronpa phase oh dear god-)

AAAAA NO BUT GOD DAMN IT I NEED TO STAB FUKUCHI

ITS REALLY WEIRD CUZ I LIVE LAUGH FYODOR BUT FUKUCHI JUST MAKES ME UPSET

If he doesnt have a good motive Im actually crying, though I get that not all characters are supposed to be redeemable, I just got really attached to Fukuchi really fast and seeing him yap was super silly :(

Fyodor works a lot differently than Fukuchi and I really really do love Fyodor-

Also Nikolai saying he's gonna kill Fyodor? Genuinely wonder if he's even capable of that cuz his ability is able to catch you off guard, but Fyodors such an incredibly silly guy and I wouldn't be surprised if he was able to stop anything from Nikolai

Not only an assassination attempt (Even though I doubt Nikolai would get very far with that-) legit something as simple as trying to scare him-

Also Fyodor understanding Nikolai? Dear gods I love them so much they make me wanna tear out my soul-

Making a little fanart for them and while I'm not sure if I'm actually gonna share it, they are very adorable in their own odd way

Back to the casino scenes, while I absolutely adore Tetchou and Jouno, TEROKUS JUST SO SILLY

PLEASE I LOVE HER SO MUCH I HOPE WE GET TO SEE MORE OF HER EVWN IF SHE DOESNT SEEM VERY RELIVANT TO THE PLOT WHERE IM AT RN

AAAAAA ALSO, S5 EP2 ENDS WITH AKUTAGAWA BEING ON THE SHIP AND AHDKAHSKS

SHIN SOUKOKU CANON EVERYONE

I HAVE BEEN DESPERATELY STARVED OF AKUTAGAWA CONTENT FOR A LITTLE BIT SO SEEING HIM MAKES ME SO HAPPY

AND SEEING HIM WITH ATSUSHI??? EVEN HAPPIER, I KNOW THEYRE GONNA DO A BIG FIGHT TOGETHER AND ITS LIKE AAAA THEYRE WORKING TOGETHER WILLINGLY NOW!! (Kiiind of)

LIVE LAUGH LOVE BSD BUT DEAR GOD ITS MAKING ME GO INSANE

AND BEFORE I FORGET YET AGAIN, I LOVE SEEING ODASAKU MEAN SO MUCH TO DAZAI AND ANGO LIKE AHHHH THIS SERIES MAKES ME SO UPSET IN A GOOD WAY

AND MUSHITARO MAKES ME GO YIPPEE PLEASE I LOVE HIS CHARACTER SO MUCH

ALSO DAZAI BEING ABLE TO CONTROL HIS HEARTBEAT?? WHAT CAN HE *NOT* DO????

And why the fuck does the sky casino look like a beyblade like I love him but someone's gotta get him into an exterior design class

THE INTERIOR DESIGN THOUGH, PLEASE I LOVE IT ITS SO BRETTY LIKE LET ME GO THERE

Just searched up Beyblade to make sure I got the spelling right and what do you mean there's a hello kitty beyblade give it to me

Also Sigma just panicking for half the episode is so fucking relatable

OH ALSO

THE WAY HOW HE SEEMS SO DEVOTED AND LOYAL TO THE SKY CASINO?? I LOVE HIM HE MAKES ME SO SAD

I can't remember if I already mentioned I have adopted him but I have ✌️

He's so silly after I finish my Akutagawa and Fyodor obsession plus actually finish the story (or at least whats written right now) I'm focusing entirely on him

Okay maybe my Aku and Fyodor obsession won't ever subside but if it doesn't I'm making space for him in there-

Live laugh Nikolai I know I haven't mentioned him too much but he's such a silly character and he makes me happy-

AAAA ALSO FUKUCHI HAVING THE PAGE LIKE IM GONNA EAT THAT DAMN PAPER JUST LET THE ADA LIVE IN PEACE-

ALSO GOT SO SCARED WHEN GIN WAS STABBED, GENUINELY THOUGHT SHE WASNT GONNA MAKE IT

Okay I think that's enough yapping for today, might watch another episode might not, but either ways I'm dreaming about it again ✌️

ALSO WHEN I SWITCH TO THE MANGA SINCE S6 ISNT THERE CUZ YK NOT MUCH CONTENT TO WORK OFF OF YET, IM GONNA BE FROTHING AT THE MOUTH EVERY DAMN MONTH FOR NEW BSD CHAPTERS

AHHH I HEARD THAT THERES A NEW CHAPTER RELEASED AROUND EVERY MONTH AND ITS LIKE YK WHAT GET THAT COIN ASAGIRI, ILL WAIT AS LONG AS I NEED

Okay kinda unrelated but I love lucid dreaming so much like what do you mean I can bend reality at my will to make an episode of bsd that shows Fyolai being canon and adopting 3 cats

GOD I CANT WAIT TO BUY THE MANGA (I have to actually save up tho so I gotta wait a bit longer ✌️)

I know I could just find pdf files online but I js really really like reading physically so uh ill get to pdf reading when I get desperate 😋

[hyperactivewhore]

GIRL HOW DARE YOU

HOW DARE YOU RECOMMEND ALLURE TO ME

ITS YOUR FAULT IM BROKEN NOW

holy hell that book is destroying me piece by piece i was actually sobbing its so well written everything connects even when you dont notice one detail its important

also im sorry to say but.....i like klaus and mia together from the way you spoke i got the feeling you ddint but i cant help but squeal when i read their scenes especially at homecoming they have sexy hot chemistry its suffocating

team stefan and mia all the way though as endgame but i think klaus and mia deserve a second chance

you were right about mia being a new kind of oc its very nice to see a oc care for characters who arent just love interests i didnt like elena but after reading it i understand her same with tyler and i hated him most of all but now i love him

this book is my roman empire and i blame you because i cant think of anything else

KSKSKKS I KNOW RIGHT???

Listen I absolutely adore Klaus, he's a bitch even tho I acknowledge all of his wrongs but he just makes me so fucking mad in Allure. He's just making her confused and hurting her and if he doesn't go back to being Nik with her, not Klaus, then he's about to catch some hands. And anyway his lifestyle is just gonna put her in danger, my girl needs to have a happy life with Cami.

I'm also gonna recommend you a wattpad fic about Klaus that I completely forgot about mentioning in my last post. It's A Dark Twisted Fantasy by @saintsir4n and it's just golden, the Klaus depicted there is 100% canon Klaus and he makes me want to strangle him so badly.

(@viavolterra)

[stormyoceans]

vv brainrot continuation:

dad, I missed you (mom, I missed you)

that cute "feels so good" sound (pink drink, I really want to try it)

hugs in bed are the same as after joob’s funeral

part 3/4 damn music from vice versa! aof, fuck, just admit everything already!

we got lost (and found our local glasshouse)

bonfires and songs with guitar

return of shirts (and they smell like each other. what could be more erotic)

interrupted kiss (okay, not because of bad breath)

the description of the sky is worthy of rawi’s palette the guys were right, this damn miss universe appeared before our eyes. lord, I'm not completely alive, monica. what about you? you know, maybe sea didn’t lie, and the remaining episodes won’t be sad even despite the breakup, bc the worst and most expected has already happened, and then everything will go easier. william's song brought me to tears, it's beautiful! and I liked day's version. its so romantic. but, forgive me, the bed scene could have been much better, the angles and amount of blur didn’t turn out very well, and, tbh, I expected more tactility from day, so that he could study mork’s body with his hands. it was so important to him, but they showed it to us very quickly and didn’t spend enough time on it. but I really liked that they were presented as switch, moving away from the nightmare clichés, it's great. the scene on the mountain is the pinnacle of it all, and lord knows the boys pulled it off superbly. it was so emotional. I crumbled like sand and don’t know how I’ll recover by next week. monica, share your brainrot, I’m sure I missed everything possible bc I was so busy in the bed scene.

SORRY PINKYBRAIN IM AFRAID IM GONNA BE COMPLETELY USELESS THIS TIME AROUND I SWEAR I EVEN TRIED TO REWATCH THE EPISODE TO PICK UP MORE PARALLELS BUT I ONLY ENDED UP SOBBING ON THE FLOOR WHILE CLUTCHING A BUNCH OF SCREENSHOTS TO MY CHEST

and you've already pointed out all of these moments but allow me to put them side by side anyway because!!!!!!!

[CHANTS] COMFORT SHIPS COMFORT SHIPS COMFORT SHIPS PORTRAYED BY THE MOST COMFORT BOYS JUST SO COMFORT SHAPED COMFORT SHIPS!!!!!!!!!

and even if these two moments can’t really be compared THEY INVENTED EMOTIONAL FOREHEAD TOUCHES TOO!!!!!!!!

my personal emotional devastation aside, tho, i do think there are some parallels to be drawn between episode 9 of vice versa and episode 9 of last twilight, between puen on an island finally accepting his life in the original universe and by the end "gaining sight" on who talay really is, and day on a mountain finally accepting going blind and having his last sight being mork. i also think it's interesting that in last twilight (the ost) at one point there's the line "my heart cherishes the memory of us" while in vice versa the very last line of friend credits' second movie is "though we aren't together tomorrow, you're always here in my memories". like idk if it's a reach but both shows are about seeing when you can't really see (not just in the literal physical sense) and acceptance and carrying this love that helped you through it all with you and i just think someone with a brain activity currently higher than my own could make some connections!!!!!!!!

i personally did like the sex scene (i've talked about it here a little if you're interested), but i think i also get what you mean. if it were for me we would definitely have gotten a 17 minutes long one take focused on day's hands as he traced every part of mork's body starting from his face and slowly making his way down to his feet. but at the same time i wonder if it would have made sense for their first time. i feel like day was already so preoccupied with his sight being almost gone that what he needed in that moment was to get lost in the feelings rather than commit mork's body to memory. and who knows, last twilight has already broken p’aof’s habit of having only a couple of kisses in his shows, maybe it will make him give us another intimate scene too!!!