#Anyways the words she's looking for is I feel guilty
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Hi lovie a lil request if u pls! I would love to see Sirius (but could also be down with one of the other boys if ur not feeling him) with a gf who has a migraine and just him doting on her
alternatively could also do it's like early in the relationship and she tries to hide it from him?
Thanks for requesting!
cw: modern au, migraine
Sirius Black x fem!reader ⥠997 words
You decide to text Sirius rather than braving the lights and sounds of the living room. You keep your phone brightness on low, clicking your screen off as soon as itâs sent.Â
Do you have any painkillers I could use?
You feel guilty for commandeering Siriusâ bedroom like this. Youâre supposed to be cooking dinner together, but when you came home with the groceries youâd asked meekly if heâd mind if you napped for a while. He offered to make it himself so itâll be ready when you get up. You sort of dread when that will be. You know youâd feel better back at your own place, but you donât trust yourself to drive like this, with pain taking all your concentration and spots and lines flashing across your vision, so instead youâre spoiling the evening you and Sirius had planned together. Now youâre asking him to wait on you, too.Â
Sirius doesnât respond to your text, but you hear him moving. The soft thump of footsteps coming down the hall and the quiet sshk of a drawer coming open.Â
âJust a nap, huh?â he murmurs as he comes into the bedroom. He sits by your knees on the bed, shaking a couple of pills into his hand. âDoes something hurt, lovely?â
âYeah,â you manage a hoarse whisper as he passes you the pills and the glass of water heâs brought you. âSorry. My head.âÂ
âI thought something might be wrong,â he admits, keeping his voice low. âYou got awfully quiet earlier. Why didnât you say?â
You set the glass on his nightstand after downing the pills. Cover your eyes with the hand cool with condensation. âIâm sorry. I didnât want to ruin our night.âÂ
Sirius tuts softly. âDonât worry about that.â His hand finds your forehead, first feeling for a fever and then brushing a few pieces of hair back from your eyes, but he stops when your face tightens. âItâs quite bad?âÂ
You make a low humming sound. âItâs a migraine. I get them, sometimes.âÂ
âOh, sweetheart.â Sirius takes his hand away from you, though by the pain in his voice it costs him to do it. âIâm sorry. What can I do?â
âI just need to lie with it for a bit. Hopefully itâll calm down. I have things to help at home, but I donât think I can make it there right now.âÂ
âWhat sort of things?âÂ
You tell him, admittedly somewhat short in your speech. Sirius doesnât seem to mind. He leaves you to rest afterwards, and you hardly hear him again until nearly an hour later. You think dinner has to have long since been ready, but when Sirius comes back into his bedroom itâs not with food.Â
You watch through slitted eyes as he creeps into the corner, plugging in a machine that starts billowing steam up into the room. He fiddles with it for a moment, and soon youâre aware of a familiar scent upon the air, floral and relaxing.Â
âDid you get that from my place?âÂ
Sirius jumps, pressing a hand to his chest as he turns around. âFuck, babe, I thought you were sleeping. No, I didnât want to ask you to give me your key.âÂ
You look at the essential oil diffuser. âHuh. Looks just like mine.âÂ
âWell, good. Hopefully itâll work just as well, then.â Sirius stands, typing something into his phone. âDo you think those binaural beats things will help right now, or will they keep you from falling asleep?âÂ
âMânot falling asleep anyway,â you mumble half bitterly, but your boyfriend only nods. He connects his phone to a small speaker and sets it by the bed. âTell me you didnât go buy a diffuser?â
Sirius looks at you, raising an eyebrow as a low, soothing thrum starts to emanate from the speaker on the nightstand. âNot sure what you want me to say then. Would you have rather I broke into your place to get one?â
âSirius.â Your voice drops to a whisper. âYou didnât have to. Thatâs so sweet.âÂ
âOh.â He brightens. âGood then. Thereâs a weighted mask in the freezer, too, by the way. Thought Iâd give it a minute to chill first.âÂ
Youâre starting to feel slightly teary, which isnât really what you want during a migraine. âThatâs really kind of you.âÂ
âDonât mention it. Couldnât have the world's loveliest girl suffering here in my own home, could I?â He smiles softly, looking like heâs going to reach for your face again before he stops himself.Â
âYou can touch me,â you say quietly.Â
Siriusâ brows twitch together. âYeah? Are you sure?âÂ
âMhm. I feel a bit better than before.âÂ
âCould I kiss you as well?âÂ
You canât stop your lips from curving, just a little. âYeah.âÂ
Sirius smiles, too, pressing his lips gently to yours. He doesnât stop there. âBetter than before doesnât seem quite well enough,â he murmurs as his affections grace your cheek, your closed eyelid, the space between your brows, âbut weâll get you there soon, I think. Remus sometimes has migraines, too. I called him and he said a massage might help, if it suits you. Just while your mask is getting cold.âÂ
âYeah?â you ask on a breath. âIâve never tried that.âÂ
âDo you wanna?â
You nod, and he gets you to roll onto your front, thumbs finding the tight muscles of your neck. Itâs not a skillful massage, but Sirius is a quick learner, and soon you find the tension from your face to your shoulders relaxing from his ministrations. The air smells of lavender, the room pulses with a low, resounding hum, and Siriusâ touch bleeds affection into your skin.Â
âThank you for doing this,â you mumble, words slurred with relaxation.Â
âDonât know what youâre thanking me for,â he hums back. âI told you, I have the worldâs loveliest girl right here in my own home. Great power comes with great responsibility and all that, right?â
Youâre too enamored to even scoff.
#sirius black#sirius black x reader#sirius black x fem!reader#sirius black x y/n#sirius black x you#sirius black x self insert#sirius black fanfiction#sirius black fanfic#sirius black fic#sirius black fluff#sirius black hurt/comfort#sirius black imagine#sirius black drabble#sirius black scenario#sirius black blurb#sirius black oneshot#sirius black one shot#marauders#marauders fanfiction#marauders fandom#the marauders#hp marauders#marauders x reader
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Mum: I don't understand why the council would treat you, a disabled person, so poorly!
Me: well yeah it's disgusting but their reasoning is none of this is support needs so I can go off my meds, that's not their problem, never leave the house, etc etc, none of these count as support needs-
Mum: stop! This is too upsetting to hear!
Me, who is currently living it as and as a direct result of my mother making me homeless: sure it def is upsetting
#personal shit#My mum sure believed that the council would help a well spoken white person from a middle class area#But the reality is the council doesn't help fucking anyone!!!#It was bad before 14 years of austerity!#Anyways the words she's looking for is I feel guilty#Instead I'm not allowed to be even remotely negative about my experiences#Like I was making fun of some of the housing listings and how shit they are#And how they take photos of the corner of a room#While when selling a house they take a million photos#And mum got super fucking hostile#The rental market is infamously terrible it's fine!! I'm laughing!#Anyways if anyone wants me I'll be lying on the floor face down until my support worker emails me back
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hey so do you think wtv keiko had to deal with growing up with yusuke could be considered a type of parentification
#god chapters where barely anything happens except a character's realization about things can be hard ...#im writing another keiko pov chapter and it's hard because well!!#keiko was never really a main focus in the series and as time goes on she gets even less of a focus so i have to fill in these spots#in her personality and views that aren't really explored. im taking a lot of liberties lets say#and idek if it's gonna read as in character cos of that#anyway im tryna say that like. pre series keiko was basically this presence in yusuke's life and he saw her as a pain but he cared#she was there to scold him and cajole him into going to his classes and she was his only friend#now we know atsuko was negligent and idk how involved the yukimuras were in his life but i feel like keiko#whether directly or indirectly was given this duty like you have to keep him outta trouble#you're smart you're mature he needs someone like you. this responsibility just kind of put on her before she can understand the weight of i#and she can't really comprehend that weight until it's abruptly taken from her. yusuke dies and there's no one to shepherd#i feel like keiko should get to be mad about this. this realization of the nature of their dynamic. keiko planning things around yusuke#who's never done that in his life. not because he's purposely being thoughtless but bc he was never the one to have to plan#to think about what their future looks like. he just kinda drifted along and keiko tried to do damage control. it wasn't fair#yusuke is keeping secrets from her she is scared of high school and that he'll die again without her knowing why and it's unfair#so she should get to be mad also because girls getting to be mad is one of my favorite things đđŒ#the realization that yusuke won't be lost without her so she shouldn't hinge her life on the expectation that he will be#she worries about yusuke a lot i think. especially after he comes back from the dead. and i think kuwa's presence would help ease that#dread in her heart. it doesn't have to be just me. there's someone who can be there with him always and it doesn't have to be me#the guilty relief of not having to be the sacrifice. but kuwa doesn't mind so maybe it's okay this way#idk just rambles about my fic while i puzzle out how to word it#character analysis#yukimura keiko#yu yu hakusho
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my god. skinny people really just have like. No Idea huh just absolutely not a single clue lmao it's almost funny to watch fr but then id lie if i said i wouldn't fucking kill to be able to be that ignorant
#girl i am SO sorry people react with surprise when you say you're studying to be an opera singer because you're#*checks notes* skinny and attractive. so so sorry that must be literal hell for you huh how will you ever recover :((((#no no please keep talking about how equally bad that is to the brutal fucking fatshaming and ED glorifying#in the industry that me and the only other fat girl in the room were talking about before you interrupted us <3#anyway. we were talking about this one review of a quite famous professional music critic whose only comment about a fat mezzo in the cast#was 'miss xyz.... lose some weight'. not a single word about her singing/acting/whatever. but yeah no you're too sexy for an opera singer#and THAT is the real problem here girl i totally understand yeah <3 thoughts and prayers dearest.#earlier that same day this same girl was standing next to me in her bodycon dress and went#*pointing at her stomach that's so flat its almost concave* 'ughhhh what do i have to do to not look pregnant in this dress đ©đ«'#and i said 'girl' and just looked at her and like the sudden horrified realisation on her face was lowkey hysterical#like omg you really did forget you're not talking to your other skinny friends with whom you can pat each other on the backs#and reassure each other that 'dw girl ur not fat at all ur so so sexy!' huh sjshsjshsjs#but yeah i dont like making people uncomfortable irl so i did reassure her she looks hot and pretty and skinny as all shit#let at least one of us have a nice evening and not feel Absolutely Fucking Disgusting ig <3#and the day before that after i saw our (last ever btw never photographing myself with them ever again <3) picture and had a mini break down#the other even skinnier and smaller and petite-er crouched down next to me with the most guilty fucking expression and quietly asked me#if im alright and do i want her to delete those pictures (that she posted on two separate social media pages) and like#the look of immense fucking pity on her was even worse than seeing those pictures#like i know she meant well and was trying to be nice but my god. this really is how you all see me huh#like looking like me would be fate worse than death for yall#not even gonna mention the thing i just learned this friday that the retired ballerina who leads our ballet classes said about me#trying to cheer up the other fat girl who happened to have a bit of an emotional breakdown in the middle of the class :)))))))#like i am sooooooo so glad and honoured to be an inspiration to you. really. always happy to help. the exemplary Fat Girl Who Fucking Sucks#But Doesnt Let It Bother Her <333333#like on one hand. yeah it really does make me wanna jump off a cliff. but on the other. its just hilarious sjdgsjsgsj#you sure are right miss ma'am. i sure don't let this bother me at all. i am famous for my uncanny ability to Not Be Bothered by all this <33#but shes new. its ok. how could she know about the last two years when i was getting panic attacks and sobbing myself to sleep every tuesday#but yeah no. [lauren cooper voice] am i bovvered? am i bovvered tho? i aint even bovvered!
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hey uhhh i went thru ur oc post history and u said gus set himself on fire?? pls context
I love this character because whenever someone asks about him I always have to take a deep breath and get comfortable and suck a breath in through my teeth. I treat him so poorly
More Gus lore, because that specific event is actually tied to the very first event that would fuck him up forever, so I can't really talk about it without going in depth.
This is explaining the core tenent of Augustijn's story, which is guilt and its dangers. Basically, where that constant guilt came from, and how it...turned out for him...
It turns out okay. Just...takes 200+ years, an apocalypse, a divorce, and his son dying! đ„łYayđ„ł
Tw; Religious trauma, child abuse, suicide, drug use, cannibalism, mental illnesses, and yet another suicide attempt.
So, some background, Gus's mom, Emma, was a fanatic catholic and generally Bat Shit about religion. As you might imagine, this is the Direct Source of both Gus' questionable worldviews, traumas, and his biological inclination to uuuhhh bad Head Times.
Emma was raised mildly religious, but she...took to it too hard? Her family was not the cause of her obsession, Gus's grandparents and uncles/aunts over there actually cut her off at one point, because she was starting to worry them but reaching out led to her lashing out. So, they just...backed off. Emma herself was a simple, homebody woman, who wanted to be at home raising her kids, and tending her garden. She would have been this way even without the religious thing.
But Emma and her side of the family were prone to addiction, see? And religion became her point of fixation and obsession. This could have still been okay, if not for the church she went into. A catholic church in the Hague that was known by all for being kind of fucking out there, even by other hardcore Catholics. This was one she went into, and even her grandchild 240+ years later would feel the ripple of this decision.
Emma goes into church and gets gnarly ideas about how life works. Its a woman's duty to have kids and raise them, to be good to her husband and her house, to listen and obey her men. Sin is inevitable and everyone does it, only those that admit and accept punishment can get another chance at Paradise. God knows every action you take and he does not care for the context, he only cares about the action. There is no "well, but" under the Lord.
Emma has mental illness, some kind of depression and anxiety, so this Big Brother Watching And Judging fucked her up. Especially since her church, in particular, was physically abusive if you did not confess to anything during confession. They thought if you had nothing to confess, you were lying.
At this point, she's met and engaged to Theodore Reinier, a rich heir to a European manufacturing company. He's pretty, a gentleman, and best of all, rich, so she can have as big and luxurious a garden as she wants. She likes him. She does not love him. She's in her twenties and unmarried with no kids, and her poor family needs to be taken care of. So she marries him. Theodore is smart enough to see this for what it is, and kind enough to allow it. He lets his wife do her own thing and treats her as a friend, rather than a lover. She hates this, she wants to be a wife (she doesnt). She wants kids, he gives her one. Augustijn. This birth goes rough, and she's told no more children.
Theodore makes one rule; August goes to a different church, or he does not go at all. Theo really didn't like Emma's church and he certainly wasn't exposing his kid to that shit.
Emma pretends to agree and takes Gus to That Church. Theo doesn't attend, so he doesn't know this is happening until much later. Gus gets all the same nasty shit Emma does. Theo learns of this when he sees Gus covered in bruises from confession beatings. This puts a huge rift between him and Emma, and he pulls all the strings he can to have her church shut down.
Emma grows to resent and hate Theo and Augustijn for not being the perfect husband and child she deserves as a good, God fearing house wife. Augustijn is left to his nannies, Emma hides away in her private garden, fuming. Theodore tries to bond with his son, but Emma's poisoned that well.
Emma tells Augustijn about demons, to fear them. She specifically tells him about church grims, demons that hunt around churches in the form of a dog to drag sinners to hell. She says this as she's admiring her new obsidian dog statues for her garden.
Eventually, Emma goes yellow wallpaper and loses her mind, and is sent to therapy and put on medications. Augustijn loathes his father for his mother's state. Theodore just wants his friend and son okay. But Emma, as she's out in town, coming back from therapy, she stops at a friend's house while the friend isn't there, and hooks up with the woman's husband. Friend's husband was stern, strict with his wife, God fearing, and generally an obnoxious 50s ideal shithead husband. Everything Emma wanted. This wasn't out of nowhere, it was brewing in the background. She knew both of them from her old church.
Emma goes home, and finally having a reason for the guilt that's always plagued her, elects to acknowledge her sin. She drowns herself in the pond of her garden, stared down by three dark, ruby-eyed dogs, overseeing her passage into the afterlife. Her young son comes into the garden to meet his mother, after she's been gone all day, only to find her in a red pool. He looks up into the eyes of the dogs. He remembers nothing of this incident, blocking it out and having been too young to understand.
Years pass, and Augustijn turns to drugs as well, though his come from the darkest parts of the Hague, rather than a doctor. He turns to sex, to crime, to anything he thinks will either corrupt him so much he doesn't care, or will finally make his guilt feel justified. He wears his mother's cross necklace through it all, and sees her beloved dog with every sin.
Augustijn goes to America for college, to Harvard, studying to become a pastor himself. (This is maybe the most terrifying part of him, the fact that he almost got it). But he doesn't feel satisfied with it, has a moment of clarity and realizes he isn't fit to preach anything. The grim certainly doesn't think so. He instead follows his only friend, Isadora, into the military. The US government allowing their soldiers to do chems means his failed drug tests don't matter.
Augustijn becomes a sniper. He has always hurt people, excelled in it, but taking life frightens him, because he knows he has no right to decide who lives or dies, not like this. But he's in China, and he's told to kill. He does, and he's very good at it. His teammates marvel at just how scrappy and determined he is, like a weed, a mold.
The Biandukou Pass Incident occurs. He eats his entire team, trapped in a Chinese mountain range during a blizzard.
Delirious from almost two months of surviving on nothing but psycho and human flesh, Augustijn is let loose back into Boston, honorably discharged. His lingering hallucinations from his Daytripper addiction, mixed with psycho withdrawal, trauma, guilt, shame, the fear of Godâeverything culminates. He looks up and sees the figure that has haunted him since that one, awful day; the church grim, staring expectantly.
His mother drowned herself, so he thought it fitting if he set himself ablaze.
#ss; alter#I hate to put a word to his specific illness because you always get people like 'this isnt what i think this is like so pls die'#but i imagine he'd be diagnosed with hppd#hallucinogen persisting perception disorder. basically lingering effects of hallucinogenics after use#the point of emma is that she did not ever see past the shit#Augustijn gradually learns how to reject his guilt and view himself objectively#and comes to see how he was hurt and how he hurt others. and accepts that he has a right to feel hurt but an obligation to be better#emma doesnt. she never would have even if she survived her attempt#its like. you only feel guilt because its a concept put into you#and emma taught him guilt. always feel dirty and shameful.#but. she didnt feel guilty. not really. she was confident in all of her actions and never once hesistated#she thought it was guilt just because she knew how it would look to other people. thats not guilt thats awareness.#she wasnt guilty she feared repercussions.#meanwhile her son grew up always ashamed and horrified at himself and was desperate for any kind of comeuppance#not to make it okay because he knew it wouldn't. but because he deserved it#accountability and justice are also big concepts in gus' character. the idea that someone becoming better and earnestly doing it#is better and more worthwhile than them suffering for their actions. this comes up with the Institute and Isadora#anyway if any of you come at me bitching about portaying a woman as abusive im biting#'joe no one does fhat' they literally do. its happened to me before. yall say you support womens wrongs until theyre abusive moms#anyway. fun fact; being beaten during confessions is why gus cant admit when hes done wrong for like 30 years. its a trauma/trigger#gus really is just. 'how do i process what happened to me without losing my mind'#and he lost his mind. but he does everything he can to find it again. because he doesnt want to feel this way anymore
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You know things are bad when your mum comes back after a week and she's so concerned with your physical and mental health that she starts waxing poetic about how lovely the weather is and how gorgeous of an autumn we're having, all in an attempt to get you to go outside
#that of course came after cries of 'you're so pale? why are you so pale? you look exhausted?'#for the record my mum does -not- like autumn and she hardly ever waxes poetic about anything#she also offered me money so that I can go to the teahouse without feeling guilty#but honestly we've once again entered the sort of mindset where I feel guilty over literally everything#besides the last time I went on a walk it only made my mood way worse and I'm in no physical condition go to very far anyways#I don't really know what to do with myself#then again I'm in pain so for now maybe I should just stay in bed#I did a bit of the next chapter of the kanji book for class#but I only got discouraged by how many words I didn't know#and now my mood is even worse#I wanted to work on my thesis but I'm halfway sure if I do it now it's only going to lead to me writing a sentence#and editing that single sentence for a hour#before giving up#either that or hating everything anyways#I don't know I don't know I don't know
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about to become a fuuta kajiyama apologist
#⯠ê°á starry thoughts à»ê± *·Ë#⯠ê°á milgram à»ê± *·Ë#HI PLEASE NOTE THIS IS /HJ (A HALF-JOKE. mostly just a joke tbh)#i don't like being an apologist for anything even if it's fiction LMAO </3#i will stop rambling (lie)#i love fuuta (real)#i think many just look at him face-value hebhgbahbghebhgjbjhebgjh but also IDK milgram makes me confused about my thinking process and all#it is just a wednesday what the fuck. i almost forgot i unfortunately still have homework#wow anyways can't believe i was here for the milgram site lowkey breaking bcs of fuuta. his power!!! he is so fire!!!#will never shut up about those kinda puns now. sorry (not)#oops i forgot to vote for yuno at all yet. i voted for haruka yesterday!!#did innocent to lower the gap a bit but ultimately i want to make sure he gets guilty but i am so conflicted.......#yuno ngl i would w/o a doubt vote innocent but i'm unsure what would be say... best for her? she doesn't have an actual crime imo#and i'm glad a lot feel the same (she has the right to do whatever she wants w her body!) but i do think she's too careless/apathetic#not that being apathetic or careless is necessarily bad but i wonder if a triple-innocent would be best even if i agree she should be#innocent. (please don't cancel me btw i'm just stating my thoughts at all hjhbadjgh i am pro-choice i love women fr)#i wonder what would happen with a verdict of 50/50. also idk if i've been using the word verdict right all this time lmfao
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That post that's like "stop writing characters who talk like they're trying to get a good grade in therapy" really blew the door wide open for me about how common it's become for a character's emotional intelligence to not be taken into consideration when writing conflict. I remember the first time I went to therapy I had such a hard time even identifying what I was feeling, let alone had the language to explain it to someone else. Of course there are plenty of people who've never been to therapy a day in their life who are in tune to their emotions. But even they would have some trouble expressing themselves sometimes. You have to take into account there are plenty of people who are uncomfortable expressing themselves and people who think they're not allowed to feel certain ways. It also makes for more interesting conflict to have characters with different levels of understanding.
#yeah I feel that with getting it on paper to know exactly how they're feeling#that said... I don't know if it's hilarious or too mature for Elyse to have the most level takes and be so good at de-escalation#when Kokuen is just completely insane compared to her#I think a large part of the problem is Kokuen is just badly written in the source material#like... I feel /bad/ when I know this character is a Christian...#she's such a poor example it makes me cringe inside#I know that's realistic and it's a very interesting challenge to deal with#plus also... please Kokuen... stop being so unlikeable...#she's like... as bad as Drake in the original#I've softened and rounded her out /so/ much#she's still pretty awful but#I understand her way more now that I've got like nearly 300k of my own words with me writing her in the midst of that#helped a lot too when I went back and started rewriting a scene in the second draft. really hype about that#it's so fun to do the RP solely from Elyse's perspective#she's so bubbly in the beginning#she's got an undertone of sarcasm and wit but in yhe beginning she's just sn excited tourist looking at everything#it's really endearing#anyways got way off-topic XD;#suffice to say I'm probably guilty of therapy talk in writing even though I've never actually been to therapy but I have researched#like mental illnesses for writing and I've read some self-help books before#and just being on the internet having seen some psychology videos and stuff about cognitive behavioral therapy and whatnot#so yeah my knowledge probably tends to bleed into where it shouldn't cgdgd#I'm probably making this 18 year old girl way too wise and levelheaded for her age#but when her narrative foils are a practically insane instructor and a ditz rivaloo like#it's hard not to make her stand out among them as the sole wielder of the braincell XD#though Lico is really the one with the braincell#Harsha has the emotional intelligence braincell#anyways#rambling again XD;#writing
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#all of this is Throwing me down the rabbit hole again btw.#i may not . ever say a fuckign Word to him. but i sure as fuck gst to look at him#and its hard Not To. hes still the prettiest man ive ever looked at!! im still attracred to him !!#i shouldnt be !!! but i am and im allowing that . i cant keep feeling like this tho ABDIDNDJ#i . am going to get So Hurt .#i mean it shouldnt b any different to any other similar situation but UNLIKE every other time .#we actually dated ! i actually love him n have a wild history w him ! its a lot dofferent !#its fine !!!!! im . yelling internally .#and atp i need to get laid . im seriously abt to just send libra a mssg n b like#i know this is weird n u can absolutwly say no. but how do u feel abt having sex#or wtv . bc . this call of celibacy was fun n helpful . but .#eniugh is enough i need to get laid. so i can shake some od whatever the FUCK is going on internally#anyway. im going Crazy internally . i gotta talk to my coworker abt getting a 2 drink max on myself#not vc im actually a menace !!!! or anyrhung !!!!#but bx !!! i keep saying dumb shit abt ppl while theyre around . n its not shit thats like#it cant get me into trouble . itll get me a talking to occasionally#but . (im talking abt one specific thing i sakd n if i dont unravel my ahite lie Now itll look bad)#so im bookibg a sesh w my ips worker to discuss tgis bx . i Fucked Up Kinda . and . i dont know what to do abt it bc i feel guilty#a little. i needed to. like i did what i had to do in the moment . but . i twisted thw truth a little to get what i wanted#n i dont Like That :( not to my manager.#bc she batted 4 me IMMEDIATELY . n i do hate that h eis so well fucking KNOWN.
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GUILTY AS SIN - Logan Howlett
â„ summary: the entire time youâve known logan howlett, youâve tried to keep your longings locked. then, one night, all that effort goes to waste when youâre confronted about your feelings.
word count: 8.5k (IM SORRY!!!!)
pairings: logan howlett x fem! mutant reader
content warnings: 18+ CONTENT MDNI, masturbation, dirty thoughts, light choking, multiple orgasms, oral (reader and logan receiving), spitting, sixty-nining, scent kink, like one spank, underwear stays ON, slight hint of arousal from crying?, creampie, p in v (practice safe sex ty!)
â„ a/n: guysâŠâŠ am iâŠ. a whore? (yes) do i need to be locked up? (also yes). i started this when i was on my period so maybe thatâs the reason this is so filthy? anyway i donât know how it got to 8k of smut but it DID and i have nothing to say about that⊠also reader has a mutation itâs not super in depth but her hair changes to red in certain situations and she has red light/energy she manifest in her hands, kind of confusing but itâs okay. anyway please please enjoy and let me know your thoughts <3
â ËïœĄââĄâĄâĄâïœĄË
âI keep recalling things we never did
Messy top lip kiss
How I long for our trysts
Without ever touching his skin
How can I be guilty as sin?â
Guilty as Sin? - Taylor Swift
â ËïœĄââĄâĄâĄâïœĄË
THE SHEETS are chilled, crisp to the touch, cold enough that shivers tickle their way across exposed skin. A sigh is heard, loud enough for wandering ears as a figure moves about in the unmade, blanket muddled bed. The window had been left open, and as a result, cold air had poured into the room.
Despite the fact that goosebumps adorn your body, it felt as though you were on fire. Huffs escaped parted lips, a charged hum zipping through your veins that only intensified each time you moved. Youâd been trying to sleep for the past couple hours, trying to ignore the need thrumming through you, but had only managed to fail.
You turn on your side for possibly the twentieth time, but the position only worsens your state as the flesh of your thighs squeeze unintentionally, a wave of brief relief sent to your throbbing core. Tears brim your lashes, damp with frustration because fuck, your body was humming with lust and everything was so, so sensitive.
This was all Loganâs fault.
The man has been gone less than a week and yet, your body was practically vibrating with need, trembling with desire.
The feelings you harbor make you feel shameful and guilty for a handful of reasons.
Logan was not your boyfriend; he wasnât even a friend. While he was cordial with the others in the mansion, he remained cold and indifferent toward you.
You pretended it never bothered you when he pointedly ignored your greetings in passing or refused to partner up with you. You didnât understand what youâd done to upset him, to warrant his treatment of you as if you were the most annoying person on the planet. More often than not, you are the subject of the manâs pointed glare.
So, logically, your heart shouldnât race at the mere thought of him. Nor should desire pool between your thighs whenever images of his sweaty form cloud your mind.
By definition, you were immensely smart; a genius with how you could understand what others could not.
Though, you were only human and Logan fucking Howlett was a man worth embarrassing yourself over, especially when he looked like he did.
He wasnât, your mind huffed.
He was, your heart retorted.
A memory comes forward, one that has your cheeks blushing, your chest rising a little faster than before.
A couple weeks ago, youâd been up late, struggling to sleep and with the way it evaded you, wandering the halls had been your solution, in hopes of tiring yourself out.
But when you had walked down your hallway, you froze at the sight of a shirtless Logan in his room, the door left ajar.
A towel covered his head as he scrubbed away the wetness in his hair, and you desperately hoped he hadnât noticed your presence. Water dribbled down his muscular body, and your eyes greedily watched each droplet descend down, glistening against the tan stomach you wanted to bite. What really had you drooling, however, was the thick, prominent vein that crept down into the waistband of his gray sweatpants. Said pants had your eyes wide with the prominent bulge tented in the material.
When you just barely caught yourself from moaning, you had dashed back to your room right away. You were wide awake still, but for a completely different reason. All you could think about was tracing your tongue along that vein.
If youâd fucked yourself that night to the thought of him and his glistening torso, no one had to know.
So theoretically, if you gave in to your cravings, it wouldnât be the first time, but it certainly wouldnât make you feel any less guilty.
Scarlett hues dust your cheekbones, lips bitten until theyâre swollen and shiny with spit. Your breasts ache from inside the confines of the pink, lacy shirt, made worse with each labored breath you inhale as perky nipples brush the material. Your hole feels incredibly empty, the need to be filled overpowering. Your clit, puffy and neglected, throbs with pure, searing need.
Another wave of aching pleasure from your wetness breaks your resolveâ a shaky hand slipping from its place on your stomach down, down, down until cold fingers meet the mess between your thighs.
A gasp sounds, melodic as it swirls with heavy breathes, fluttering around the room as you brush over your clit. Even through the material of your underwear, the slight pressure of your fingers made you mewl.
Flashes of Logan dance behind closed lids, your imagination running wild while you messily swirl over your bundle of nerves.
You wanted him so, so bad, in every way possible, it actually hurt, both your heart and core.
Your mind submerges your consciousness with thoughts of him; his pretty hazel eyes, the slope of his nose, the tufts of his brown hair. The muscles that were constantly on display, his thick thighs that you wanted to ride until you came all over him, and the huge bulge that was ever present in those flattering jeans of his (and if it was a reoccurring fantasy of yours to ride that delicious bulge over his jeans until you both came from just dry humping, againâ no one had to know).
Even if you wanted to, you couldnât stop thinking about Logan.
Him hovering over you, dog tags swinging in your face as he fucked you hard. Him picking you up and taking you against the nearest surface, lips trapped in an erotic kiss. Him prying your thighs open as he licked up your pussy, tongue dipping into your hole to lap up all the desire pooling, his lips wrapping around the swollen bud and sucking violently. Him holding your face lovingly as his hips thrusted his cock deeper into your throat, groans spilling at the gag youâd let out.
You were split between wanting to sink down onto his cock and rut your swollen nub against the curls that nestled the base of him and stuffing his dick down your throat, gagging around him until he came and coated your throat with his spend.
You didnât even bother to remove the damp underwear, instead circling the engorged bud over the materialâ and oh, fuck. The roughness of the lace mixed with the delicious rubbing of your fingers send little moans tumbling from parted lips.
Your unoccupied hand slips under the shirt covering your chest and only settle once your nipple is pinched between determined fingers, rolling the pert bud in tandem with the amorous touch of your hand on your sex.
Pleasure nips at your pelvis, and if you were a little more aware, youâd be embarrassed at how fast you to reaching your peak. But, as it is, your brain is completely hazy with wanton thinking and the only thing on your mind was lessening the ache that pulsates deep within you.
And fuck, youâre so fucking needy for logan that you try to pretend itâs his fingers abusing your clit, his fingers tugging at the sensitive buds of your chest. You want his tongue between your thighs, licking up your desire and sucking your puffy bud into his pretty mouth.
Chest rising rapidly, you feel overwhelmed at the fantasies swirling before your eyes. Its far too muchâ the mix of your filthy desires and your fingers rubbing your nub have your legs quivering as wetness coats your hand.
âLogan, Logan, Loganââ The chant of his name mindlessly falls from you, the feeling of your orgasm washing over you, threatening to pull you under those soaring, unforgiving waves of pleasure.
Eyes snap shut, ears ring with white noise, and your hips hump your hand pitifullyâ you were an absolute, writhing mess against the sheets.
The hair messily strewn around your pillow shifts then from its natural state to a dark red. Even with your eyes shut, you could feel the vermillion light whirling at your fingertips, begging to be released.
Your mutation was not one of subtlety.
Searing bliss coils in your lower tummy, your button tingling with the after effects of the orgasm that crashed into you. You sigh, because even though you just came, you felt far from satisfied. Your body buzzes with sweltering hunger, all the way from the top of your head down to the tips of your toes. Even if you fuck yourself dizzy with another orgasm, you knew it wonât satiate your body. Not completely, anyway.
Before you could slip your fingers inside your weeping hole, a loud knock echos through your room.
You still; desperate and hoping that if you ignored the noise, whoever was knocking would simply go away. But when another rhythmic thump comes a few seconds later, you huff.
Itâs well past midnight at this point, so who in their right mind would be going about and slamming their fists on your door?
Apparently, you arent moving fast enough when the person has the nerve to knock for a third time, hand a little heavier than before. A growl, tinged with annoyance, slips out as you fling yourself up and off the bed.
You stomp to the door, ready to tell the person on the other side to fuck off.
But when you actually swing open the mahogany door, all the anger simmering beneath your heated skin disappears, along with your breath, as your eyes take in the sight before you.
Logan Howlett stands before you, seemingly angry as a frown etches deep on his face. He glares at you, hazel eyes swarming with exasperation and something unknown.
And little did you know, all of your craziest, fatal fantasies were about to come true.
â„
The moment Logan steps into the mansion, finally back from the complete shit show of a mission Charles had sent him on, he tenses instantly.
His fingers clench into fists, tight enough that the skin turns white. The adamantium claws threaten to poke through his knuckles as he inhales deeply.
Big mistake.
That sweet, sweet scent swarms his heightened senses, the intoxicating smell nearly making him dizzy. His heart speeds up, his stomach flutters, and his cock twitches in the confines of his jeans.
Logan could fucking smell you.
Itâs a heady aroma thats so completely you, that his body feels deranged, just about ready to march up those steps and break down your door.
He shakes himself loose from the metaphorical shackles of you and begins the journey to his room, trying to block out how delicious and syrupy you smell.
He decides then, as his body finally moves up the steps, that ignoring you is the best option.
But as he gets closer to the hallway he shares with you (just his luck, by the way!), he realizes that plan is a joke.
He feels his control slipping, especially as the heady scent grows stronger, tinged with something elseâ something erotic and salacious.
Logan curses, his entire being rigid.
Youâre aroused, the smell seeping under the crack of the door giving you away instantly.
The idea of you whining as your pussy drips slick between your thighs has him grinding his teeth, fingers flexing and unflexing in an attempt to harness the control back to his body.
Though, it goes out the window entirely as his body is apruptly outside your door, unconsciously drawn to the very essence of you.
Thereâs a reason Logan has kept carefully crafted distance between the two of you.
The minute he was introduced to you, a new member of the x-men and teacher for the school, he knew he was fucked.
From the first look shared between you, he knew.
A pretty smile had graced your lips, eyes filled with joy as you greeted him, a hand outstretched in his direction as your hair swayed with your movements. In your cute, little outfit (a pretty, white lace dress that kissed the tops of your thighs, matched with baby pink pumps that accentuated your legs), he thought you looked like a princess.
He had stayed frozen, however, because he was assaulted with the fucking smell of you. It was nothing like heâd encountered before, and heâd been around for over a century.
Your scent was so fucking sweet, vanilla and honey permeated his nostrils and right in that moment, he wondered if you tasted as sweet as you smelt.
He knew that he had to keep his distance, otherwise heâd become addicted to you in every sense. If he let himself, heâd worship the very ground you walked on. He couldnât risk having the walls heâd spent so long building to crumble.
And in an instant, he was angry that his body had reacted this way to someone heâd never even met. He was angry he wanted to press sweet kisses on your face while simultaneously wanting to fuck you on his cock until you screamed his name.
So, with that, heâd made up his mind.
He had simply glared at you, refused to acknowledge your existence and stormed out of Charlesâ office. And since that day, heâs tried his hardest to pretend you didnât existâ if only to ease the way you constantly haunted his every thought.
He pretended it didnât kill him to see how your face would crumble at his rude behavior, at how he avoided you at all costs. He couldnât help it, though, because if he treated you how he wanted, like the princess you were, heâd never let you go.
A sudden noise shakes him from the depths of his mind, that carnal, sensual essence growing stronger by the second.
âLogan, Logan, Logan,â your honeyed voice whines, all airy and light.
And itâs almost comical how the telltale snikt! sounds immediately after because what?
What the fuck? He thinks, mind utterly destroyed at the revelation that not only were you seemingly fucking yourself, but you were moaning his name.
Logan growls, low and dangerous as his claws reveal themselves, cutting through the skin of his knuckles. His body feels unnaturally hot, practically set on fire. His cock now uncomfortably hard in his jeans, lustful essence bubbling at his tip and no doubt staining his boxers.
With the wafts of your pretty aroma and sounds of your lewd whimpers, he knows he canât resist you any longer.
His hand lifts, claws retracting as his heavy fist slams on your door.
And the sight of you, face shiny with a sheen of sweat has him choking on his own saliva.
Tonight was the night his control finally snaps, despite months of work put into avoiding you.
Logan knows his animalistic side is about to be released; heâs going to fucking ruin you.
â„
You gulp, a hand resting on the door frame as you stand frozen because honestly, what the fuck?
You deduce that the universe hates you because why? Why would the man youâd been thinking of while masturbating be right in front of you?
It only dawns on you when Loganâs gaze swipes over your figure that youâre basically naked. Clad only in your blushed, frilly top and the matching underwear, the latter soaked with both your arousal and release.
You shrink beneath his eyes, warmth simmering hot on the apples of your cheeks, and your mouth opens and closes, yet no words follow.
âUhâ Logan, hey!â Your voice is shaky, and whether itâs from the power of your release or the nerves that bumble beneath your skin at the man before you, you couldnât tell. All you know is that you want the ground to swallow you up whole.
Logan doesnât respond, just continues to stare at you in a way that you donât understand. You assume heâs just gotten home from the very long mission, and confusion settles over you as to why he was at your door, especially considering how he badly despises you.
Youâre about to voice that exact thought when Logan beats you to speaking.
âI heard you.â His gruff tone is coated in something darker than youâd ever heard before.
For a moment, youâre perplexed, brows furrowing and raising before your eyes go comically wide.
Andâ oh, oh.
âCan smell you, too.â
Heat licks at your whole body, embarrassment threatening to envelope you entirely. Tears of horror tickle your lash line, because this was probably the most painful moment of your life. Not only does the man hate you, but now heâs heard you moan his name as you came all over your fingers? How pathetic are you?
You open your mouth, an apology heavy on your tongue. You need to say something to quell the panic flooding your bodyâ youâre never going to get over this
Though, before you can even speak, Logan slams his mouth onto yours.
He holds your head softly, a deep contrast to the way his lips melt over yours. A moan slips from your open mouth, the feel of his lips sucking at your bottom lip feels immensely intense and so, so good.
Your arms wrap around his neck, fingertips tangling themselves in the hair at his nape like youâve wanted to do since the very day you met him.
âLoganââ you whimper against his mouth, trying and failing to understand what the fuck was happening as he slips his tongue inside your wet, warm mouth. âLogan.â
He ignores you, grunting against your spit, slick lips as his hands travel down your curves, until they find purchase on your ass, gripping hard. A choked gasp spills from you as he suddenly paws at you, picking you up effortlessly in his strong arms.
The idea of him holding you up with no hesitation has your hips shuddering forward without your permission. Vaguely, you feel him move past the threshold of your door, slamming it shut before pressing your body up against the wood.
Logan switches between licking your tongue and sucking meanly at your lips, until they feel full and swollen with his attention. Youâre pliantâ almost willing to let him do anything heâd like to you.
Almost.
As good as his tongue feels dancing with yours, confusion still settles over your mind. Perhaps this was a dream and if thatâs the case, you never want to wake up.
âWaitïżœïżœwait.â You pull back, the questions swirling inside probing you until itâs impossible to ignore.
âHuh, baby?â Logan groans, teeth pulling at your bottom lip before sucking at the swollen skin.
Babybabybabybabybabyâ the pet name clouds your senses for a second, a rush of arousal pooling at your hole. You want to cry at how that simple, simple word makes you feel.
âStop that.â You mumble, pulling your head back and lips out of his reach.
Logan stares at you, silent but waiting as he waits for you say whatever is on your mind. Frankly, he wants his tongue to be buried deep in your cunt right about now, but, details.
âWhat is going on?â Breathless, the question settles between you, causing Loganâs brow to raise.
âWell, my tongue was just in your mouthââ you slap his chest, face turning warm at his bluntness.
âNot that. Iâmâ why are you here? Why are you kissing me when you canât stand me?â Your voice is quiet, insecurity present in your tone. Nimble fingers grasp the dog tags that rest on his chest, and youâve never been grateful for it.
At that, Loganâs face scrunches up, confusion floating around his irises, lips curving downward.
âWhat are you talking about?â If it wasnât for the genuineness in his voice, you wouldâve smacked his chest again at how clueless he was.
âWhat do you mean? Youâve made it very clear how you feel about me; youâve despised my entire existence the moment we metâ wait, I canât even say that because you didnât even have the decency to greet me!â
Frustration hovers over you heavily, enough to snap you out of the lustful spell Logan often inflicts upon you. You slide down his body, ignoring the quiver of your cunt when you make contact with his jean clad bulge. You push at his chest, needing distance to ensure you actually get your words out and donât end up back with his tongue down your throat.
âI donât hate you.â Logan grunts out, staring at you as you pace the wooden floors of the room. Vaguely, heâs paying attention, but he canât be blamed for the way his eyes focus on the way your ass shifts with each step, the plush skin so inviting as the lace cup each cheek. âWhatâre you on about?â
Frankly, Loganâs pissing you off. The vague answers are getting on your nerves, enough that you feel yourself snap.
Your hair swiftly turns bright red, a scarlet blossoming over the strands until they coat them completely. Your emotions could never quite be concealed, not with the way your hair would turn different variations of red when you were angry, furious, sad, happy, aroused.
âYouâve been a dick to me, treating me like shit for no reason and now you think you can just waltz in here and kiss me like that? You think you can pretend to want me when we both know thatâs not true?â
Balls of fiery, red energy bloom at your fingertips, and though you stand in your pretty pink assortment, you look the part of threatening.
Itâs too bad the abrupt display of your mutation, mixed with fiery words, has Loganâs cock jerking with want.
âSometimes, I question whether or not youâre actually a genius.â
And just like that, you feel the words like a punch to the gut. Youâre so mad, so blind by the intense emotions you feel for Logan, that you feel those pesky flames of energy moving up your wrist and forearm, a telltale sign of your anger.
âFuck you, Logan.â You hiss, your fingers hot with the heat coursing through them.
What pisses you off more, to which your hair and eyes darken to a dangerous maroon, is the fact that Logan wears a faint smirk, watching you with humor as if you arenât showcasing how pissed you are.
âAre you done yet?â Logan takes a step closer, uncaring of the way your mutation flares furiously at his presence.
âLogan, leave me alone. I donât need you to sit here and pretend to want me. I donât need you to make fun of me, either.â Huffing, you glare up at the man before you, who stares back just as pointedly.
You turn around, back facing him as you go to enter the attached bathroom when all at once, youâre spun back around by a hand on your nape, your neck in a delicious tight grip as Logan pulls you into his body, smashing his mouth on yours for the second time tonight.
Your body betrays you, a desperate whimper ebbs out at how fucking good Loganâs lips feel on yours.
His teeth bite down on your top lip, before suckling sweetly to combat the pain flourishing there. You moan, mouth falling open as he messily kisses you. The intoxicating taste of him swarms your tastebuds, his tongue swirling with yours in a way that leaves you dizzy with need.
A string of spit connects between your mouths as Logan pulls away, chuckling meanly when you promptly follow the warm wetness of his lips. A rough hand grips your throat again, tight enough to leave you feeling breathless but delicious enough to make your cunt squeeze around nothing.
âSo thatâs what you think, princess? That I donât want you?â Loganâs fingers flex around your throat, gripping at your jaw to capture all of your attention. As if you were anything but than enamored with him. âYou think thatâs what Iâve been doing, huh?â
You can only stare up at him as your heartbeat rings loudly through your eardrums. A hand goes to tug at his shirt, an attempt to steady yourself, but Loganâs faster as he grabs your wrist.
âAnswer me.â He whispers hotly as the hand holding yours captive moves to intertwine your fingers.
The touch of him, the hold on your throat and roughness of his fingers in yours, renders you speechless. Youâre so overcome with your emotions that you can only manage to nod. The weight of you goes limp in his hold, silently begging him to do something to satiate the hunger burning every inch of you.
âWords, baby. Got nothing to say now, huh?â He taunts, his grip leaving your neck in favor of thumbing at your lips.
âYesâ I, itâs what itâs seemed like, what youâve made me feel. Thought you hated me.â
Loganâs nose twitches, no doubt smelling your arousal as it leaks into the material covering you, ruining the lace.
âCouldnât be more wrong,â He groans, pushing his thumb past the soft of your lips. His knees nearly buckle at the feel of your mouth closing and sucking his thumb, tongue rolling up against the skin as though it was his cock instead. âShit, baby.â
You whine around his finger, eyes fluttering up at him in a way that has his dick aching for you.
âFuck, been dreaming about you since the day we met. Been dreaming of you in every way possible.â He admits, a smile tugging at his lips at the way you freeze, lips leaving his thumb with a âpopâ.
âWhat?â Itâs a whisper, barely audible but he heard it all the same. The butterflies in your stomach are now having a complete rager, bolts of anxiousness kissing your skin.
âOf course.â Logan leanes down, pressing a kiss to your wet lips. âKnew the second I saw you youâd ruin me, so I just⊠stayed away. I never meant to make you think the worst. Mâsorry, honey.â
This was not the way youâd expected tonight to go.
Itâs as though all the confusion, anger, and sadness drain from you and, in its place,its full of the tremulous feeling of the admission.
And despite the fact that youâd fucked yourself thinking about him, and heâd heard, you feel incredibly shy. You drop your head to his hard chest, your hands squeezing his own where he holds them.
âI donât know what to say.â You utter, brain all muddled and no other thoughts come forth as Logan haunts every inch of your mind. You feel like an idiot, even though Logan had acted like a dick for the better part youâd known him.
Logan simply lifts your head, invading your senses as his nose bumps yours.
âYou were a dick.â Itâs spoken factually, making him huff against your face.
âI know.â
âYou couldâve kissed me months ago.â
âCan I kiss you now?â
His quick reply leaves you flushing, but when you nod, his lips are back on yours instantly, in their rightful place.
The kiss is messy; hot, wet, and dirty. Logan groans when you jump up, strong arms catching your thighs in a tight grip. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you lose yourself in the thrilling taste of his mouth. You unconsciously start humping him, dragging your drenched panties across his hard dick.
You suck on his tongue before capturing his lip between your teeth, nails dragging down his shoulder blades. A loud, feral growl escapes Logan, and without another thought, he throws your pliant body on the bed.
And at the sight of you, Logan feels like heâs about to come right then and there. In your skimpy outfit, so much plush, soft skin is on display. The hair tumbling from your shoulders has turned a dark cherry color during your kiss, and your hands are tickled with red energy thatâs twirling up your arms, not unlike the way vines thread onto an old home.
This time, though, he knows youâre not upset, but instead, aroused.
He can smell the way your slick seeps from your fluttering hole, how it sticks to the skin of your thighs.
And fuck, he wants to sink his face right in front of your pussy and inhale until heâs woozy with the complete perfume of you.
So, thatâs exactly what he does.
Your eyes widen as Logan drops onto the floor in front of the bed, yanking your body to the edge. Your lower half is completely in his grip, and he stares at you for a moment, eyes hazy with lust. Then, heâs pulling your pussy all the way up to his nose. The feel of him so close to your puffy lips has you clenching, even more so when he lowers his head and fucking sniffs you.
âFuck, baby. Been dreaming of this since the minute I saw you. Smells so fuckinâ sweet.â Logan inhales deeply again, smattering messy, open mouthed kisses to the skin of your upper thigh. âYou donât know how many times Iâve wanted to throw you over my shoulder, get you alone and eat this pussy.â
âLogan!â You whimper out. The sound is completely feeble but you couldnât care less, not with the way heâs sucking bruises into your skin. âPlease, please.â
Spurred on by your whines, he sinks his canines into the skin, where your thigh meets the lips of your core.
Pain simmers into pleasure as the sting is followed by his tongue. Rosy splotches decorate your upper thighs, a preview of the bruises that will glaze the skin tomorrow. Logan does this until heâs satisfied with how his teeth imprint the skin. Itâs as if itâs his way of solidifying that youâre his, like heâs staking his claim with his bruises smattering your thighs.
At some point your hand finds purchase in his hair, pawing at the tufts and tugging his face closer to where you need him most. He groans, the pain at his scalp sending jolts of desire throughout his body.
He sneaks a look up at you, and shit, youâre the prettiest thing heâs ever seen. Your head is thrown back, sending those rebellious, red strands fluttering around you. Your hips are canting up to his mouth, and the smell of you, mixed with the previous orgasm youâd worked out before he interrupted, sends his senses in overdrive.
He knows heâd tortured you both enough when you canât stop shivering with need, when his own hips brush against the edge of the bed. Without hesitation, Logan licks a long, wet stripe up your clothed pussy, suctioning around your enlarged clit.
The taste of you, heady, sweet, and so distinctly you, floods his tongue. He knew youâd taste good, but this? Oh, he wanted to drink you up all hours of the day.
With a growl, Logan tuggs the lace aside and loses it. He sucks, licks, and mouthed at your cunt like a man starved. His tongue dips into your hole before licking up and down your slit.
Moans of his name sound around the walls of your room, along with the filthy noise of his lips sucking your swollen button.
Youâve never felt like this before; the way heâs eating you out has your entire body on fire, and if you could see yourself, youâd see how ruby colored lines swirl all around your hands, how your hair practically glows with the intensity of your feelings.
Heâd been attracted to you the minute he saw youâ but the way you look when your mutation is at work? The way your hair grows shades of intoxicating reds and the way the fiery energy glows from the tips of your fingers to your elbows? Oh, how it fucking wrecks him. He just wants to keep you captive in this bedroom for all of eternity, if only to see you like this all the time.
âFeels so fucking good, fuck.â Youâre a blubbering mess, hands tugging Loganâs hair hard, resulting in a moan that vibrates your pussy.
âMine.â He grunts, and you gasp at the sensation of saliva as he spits directly onto your clit. âMy fuckinâ pussy.â
Then, he latches his soft lips around your puffy bud and sucks hard. His dirty words and lucious mouth have your thighs shivering, hips bucking with insatiable need.
Like youâd done when you were alone and thinking about him, whimpers of âLoganâ slip past bitten lips as you rut against his face.
âThatâs it, baby, say my name. Taste so fuckinâ good.â He humms against the slick, swell of your pussy.
A stream of âfuckfuckfuckâ is audible from open lips, forming an âoâ as the rush of delicious, hot pleasure pours over you completely.
As you come down, the pleasure fizzles out and overwhelming bursts of overstimulation bubble over you. Logan continues to lap at your wetness, groaning at your taste.
âSâtoo much, Logan.â Shaky hands grip his brown locks and you try and fail to bring the man away from your throbbing hole. His tongue laps at the taste of you, dipping in as deep as he could to savor every last drop. âOh, fuck.â
âTaste too fuckinâ sweet, baby. Canât help it.â
Logan grips tightly at your thighs, cruelly pinching at the flesh as he devours your pretty clit.
He canât get enough, and seemingly, neither can you, with the way you buck into his warm, slick mouth despite the crushing pleasure. The material of your underwear snaps against you as Loganâs grip loosens, but he still eats you out as though there was no barrier.
His soft lips and dangerous tongue make it difficult to do anything but take the mind-numbing pleasure.
Heâs content to stay here; between your gorgeous thighs and ravage your cunt all night, pull orgasms from you until you forget everything except the syllables that make up his name.
Except, the words that come from you have him still against you, his cock jerking and responding immediately to the addictive tilt of your voice.
âLoganâ Logan, wanna suck your cock. Please.â
It was as though you were made for himâ every inch of you riles him up like no one else has before and he has to take a deep, deep breath to refrain from coming in his jeans like a damn virgin.
With one last lick up your lace covered cunt, his face is suddenly above yours, the sight is lethal. The entirety of his lower face wears your wetness with pride, glistening and gleaming in the lowlight of the room. His eyes look animalistic, the hazel taken over by the black of dilated pupils.
Logan looks at you like he wants to fucking destroy you. You know without a doubt youâd let him.
A sweet kiss is pressed against your lips, a warm caress of his tongue on yours, the musky taste of your pussy causing you to part your thighs further. You whine once more, because you crave the heady taste of his cock; your mouth salivates at the thought of his tip heavy on your tongue.
âEasy, honey. Can smell how bad you want it.â
If you were less intoxicated by lust, youâd be mortified at the knowledge Logan can smell your arousal right now.
âLogan.â Pathetic whimpers and moans against his mouth have him pulling back, gritting his teeth to force himself to get a grip. It doesnât work, not with the way youâre spread out below him, face pretty with a tiny that vaguely mimics the hue of your top and panties.âPlease.â
How is he meant to last when you sound like that? All fucked out from just his tongue alone?
âCâmereâ.â Logan mutters, tugging your body all the way up his chest, maneuvering you until your pussy is hovering above his mouth, facing his cock.
Completely fucked out, saliva pools in your mouth at the sight of his bulge, massive even in the confines of jeans.
Youâre confused as to why Logan has put you on his chest, but it makes sense when he pulls your thighs down, mouth finding your wet, sopping sex once more.
You cry out, hips jolting at the way his tongue push the fabric away from your puffiness, immediately wrapping around your clit. At the way you were shaking on his face, unmoving besides the subtle thrusts of hips, he stops.
âLoââ
âGo on then, baby. Suck my cock, just like you wanted.â
And oh, you both feel the slick that follows after those rasped words fill the air.
Only once you undo that damn belt buckle and pull both his jeans and boxers down, just enough to see the way his cock bounced out, wet at the red, swollen tip, does Logan resume licking up your pussy.
Fueled by the return of those talented lips, you lean forward without another thought.
Licking from base to tip, a moan vibrates against his cock as you hum, a taste so distinctly Logan making you feel light and warm. You lick up and down him sloppy, spitting on the tip of him as you slick his dick up, before finally wrapping your lips around him.
âFuck.â His growl is borderning on feral; his teeth finding purchase on your asscheek and biting, an attempt to ground himself. It only serves to have his hips jump at the feel of you whining on him, sucking him down so fucking good. âFuck, knew youâd be good with that pretty fuckinâ mouth.â
Heâs so focused on the way youâve started bobbing up and down the length of him, overcome with euphoria at the warmth and wetness as you suck and swirl your tongue, that heâs stopped his attention to your pussy, something heâs only reminded of as you wiggle impatiently over him.
âSorry, princess, youâre driving me fuckinâ crazy.â He grits out, fingers gripping the flesh of your thighs at the little âhmph!â you let out, pulling off his cock.
Though he canât see you, he knows thereâs a string of spit that spans from your swollen lips to his pulsating cock. He shutters, overwhelmed by you entirely, before burying his face into your weepy cunt.
âOh! Logan, feels so good!â With a pathetic little whimper, his cock fills your mouth again as you sink down, satisfied with the way his tongue is licking at you.
A blend of moans sound as he wraps his lips around your puffed clit, as you ease his cock into your throat.
Loganâs eating you out in a frenzy, crazed by the tang of you soaking his mouth, chin, and nose. Despite the warmth bubbling in his stomach, heâs determined to make you come on his tongue again.
When thick fingers nudge into your hole unexpectedly, you mewl at the blissful feeling.
Loganâs fingers work steadily inside you in tandem with the way his mouth suckles divinely at your button. Youâre an absolute messâ grinding down on his face, riding his digits, gagging as Loganâs hips match the pace of his fingers, grunts vibrating against you as he fucks your throat.
Logan curls his fingers in a way that has you seeing every fucking color of the rainbow. You come, moaning around the base of his cock and rocking back and forth on his fingers and mouth, muffled sobs spilling from your stuffed mouth.
When he feels you shivering on his tongue, overstimulated and sensitive, he pulls away from your center, the soaked fabric of your panties falling back into place once more.
Your mouth is still full of him, lips lazily sucking him down as your body tries to get ahold of the white hot pleasure still coursing through you.
âCâmere, baby.â
Itâs a soft whisper against your thigh, but it settles over you, his soothing voice swirling around your shaky body like a warm blanket. Letting his cock fall from your lips, you scramble as fast as your body allows before you find yourself straddling Logan, staring down at the man with cloudy, wet eyes.
And maybe Logan is sickâ because the sight of tears spilling over your cheeks has his cock unbelievably hard, a growl threatening to tumble out at the way your pretty, crimson hair spills over your shoulders.
Still, he wants to make sure youâre okay.
âWhatâs wrong, honey?â Logan watches at the way a small smile graces your features, even as tears continue to glisten your lash line. âYou okay?â
âNothing's wrong, just feel so good.â Your voice is a little hoarse, no doubt from the way his dick was fucking your whiny mouth. Your voice is still the sweetest thing heâs ever heard, those few words going straight to his dick.
Logan feels his own lips tug upwards as you speak. Even though heâs fucked you silly and stolen two orgasms, he tenses with desire as he notes the want dancing in your irises.
âGood.â
âMhmm.â
Thereâs a beat of silence, a moment where hungry eyes lock in on one another, sensual energy threatening to burst.
Then, in a flash, lips are locked and tongues whirl together familiarly. Itâs a hot, lewd kiss filled to the brim with desireâ the passion almost too much with how it lights up every inch of your bodies, a fire threatening to spread.
Neither of you are sure who moved firstâ but it doesnât matter because the way Loganâs hand wraps around your hair, creating a makeshift ponytail in a tight grip, steals your attention.
If someone were to see the two of you, they would see how desperate and needy you both were.
Youâre kissing Loganâs top lip, biting before soothing the sting with a sweet, soft suck. Your thighs are spread over his own entirely and your position has your cunt settling over his cock nicely. Loganâs free hand grips the skin of your ass tight, guiding as you grind against him, the soaked panties catching on the tip of him with each thrust. The fingers tangled in your hair are unforgiving, tugging harshly as Logan grunts into your open mouth.
Youâre both a mess of passion and lustâ and your body thrums with the idea of his cock inside you.
âSuch a good girl, thatâs it. Fuckââ Logan nearly whines, the feel of your wetness on his bulge has him trapping your lips in another all consuming kiss.
Your hands, lit up with energy, find purchase in his pretty hair, yanking as he kisses you vulgar, because everything is somehow too much and not enough.
âLoganâ need you. Need you so bad, baby.â
Logan wants to eat you up entirelyâ somehow youâre still not satiated, rubbing your slick all over his lap and begging him for more. If he was a better man, he wouldâve fucked you already. As it is, he likes it a little too much hearing you beg for him.
âShhh, you got me, honey. Iâm right here.â
âFuck me, please. Need you inside, Logan.â
Thereâs tears in your eyes again, ready to spill over if the ache between your thighs isnât soothed in the next five minutes. Youâre clinging to him, hips stuttering because itâs just not enough and you both know it.
âMy poor baby.â He sighs, the words somehow a mix of condescending and genuine and it makes you cry out. âSo needy, huh?â
âJust for you.â The way you say it, itâs a message you both understandâ you need him in every way possible, not just sexually.
He wonders if you know just how badly he needs you, especially now that heâs got a taste of you.
âIâm yoursââ you start, but itâs cut off by the squeak you emit when youâre suddenly flipped over, Loganâs muscular form hovering over you, his dog tags swinging between you.
âYouâre mine.â Itâs not a question, but a statement and it sends a thrill over you.
âYours.â Youâre nodding, eyes wide and so fucking pretty that it makes Logan squeeze his hands, the metal of his claws threatening to break through the skin.
He pulls his shirt off then, pride filling his chest at the way your eyes glaze over, a lip taken between your teeth as you stare at the vein that leads to his cock, which is pulsing with the promise of release.
He doesnât comment on your lustful eyes, instead tracing his fingers down your body, until he reaches the hem of your baby pink lace. It doesnât leave much to the imagination but Logan might break something if he doesnât see your tits in all their glory.
You get the message, leaning up and slowly pulling the fabric from your chest, your breasts and midsection on full display. If he hadnât already eaten you out twice, you wouldâve moved to cover your taut nipples. Instead, you grip the chain of his necklace and pull him back down with you, sighing when youâre chest to chest.
âDo you know how long Iâve wanted this?â He says, pecking your lips once, licking a stripe down your throat. Wetness coats both nipples as his tongue swirls over them. âDo you know how badly Iâve wanted to have you under me?â
You moan, nails digging into his shoulder blades at the fluttery feeling his lips bring, deep enough to elicit blood from his skin. Logan groans, head tipping back as his hips thrust down suddenly, the tip of his cock ramming into your clit.
âFuck, Logan.â Your hands span the expanse of his back, scratching each time he bumps your button just right. His jeans are still on, resting just below his thighs and something about the way he couldnât even get up to properly take them off makes you shudder.
Heâs rutting against you now, dick rubbing filthy over your panties and it dawns on you then that he hasnât come yet, too preoccupied with taking care of you.
Determined, you slide one hand onto his asscheek, pushing him further into you, while your other grips his chin, pulling his mouth to yours in a slick, open-mouth kiss.
âCâmon Logan, fuck me, please.â
Logan turns into something animalistic thenâ flipping you over without warning, caging you between his arms. Your gasp is audible as he yanks your wet lace to the side, before thrusting forward, and fucks his cock into you with one thrust.
âOh my god, fuck me, fuck me, fuck meââ the feel of Logan finally inside you had you absolutely fucking drunk on the feel of him.
âTryinâ to, baby.â He grits, arms flexing beside your head, fingers intertwining with yours as he sinks into you, inch by inch, until you were filled to the brim.
Loganâs body covers yours, lips pressing all over your shoulder blades to soothe the little whines you let out at how fucking full you felt. Itâs everything you want and moreâ you want to memorize the feel of him, every ridge and vein as he bottoms out.
âBaby,â he grunts, fingers flexing with yours as he stays still, for your sake. âSo fuckinâ tight, so fuckinâ wet.â
And it was trueâ despite the fact that heâs huge, he slipped in easily because of the mess you created, a slick mix of your come and desire that seeps from you.
âLogan, fuck me, please.â You ask so sweetly, as if you werenât impaled by his cock right now.
With that, he slips out of you slowly, before fucking into you hard, deep. Then, he fucking ravishes youâ creating a steady, fast paced rhythm and fucking you dumb with his cock.
Youâre a whiny mess. Your hair grows darker, hands glittering between his grip each time he slams into you, each time your cunt squeezes around him.
Completely cock drunk, your back arches, ass up and hips slamming back against his with your cheek pressing into the mattress as you sob.
Youâre so fucking needy that his own thighs are wet with your desireâ he growls at the sight, fucking you even faster.
âYouâre mine. Have been since you came here.â Logan growled, releasing your fingers in favor of gripping your hair and pulling you up until you were pressed into his chest. âMy fuckinâ girl.â
âYours!â You cry, tears rolling down your face. Your entire body jolts with pleasure, and you feel like you couldnât breathe, not with how euphoria threatens to smother you. âMâso close!â
âI know, honey, I know. Can feel you fuckinâ squeezinâ around me.â Logan moans out, pushing you back down into the mattress and finding purchase on your hips, pulling you back hard. âGonna come all over me?â
You donât answer, instead crying out as you feel a sharp flash of pain on your asscheek, Loganâs hand swift and quick. The pain mixes into pleasure when he rubs at the red skin, pressing sweet kisses on your back.
He wishes you could see yourself right now; maybe then you would understand why he was so intoxicated by you.
Your pretty body is bent over, ass up and face in the sheets as whimpers seep out. The lace that drove him crazy is yanked to the side, grazing his cock each time he drove deeper inside you. Youâre so beautiful like this, he wants to keep you forever.
Sweet, little âuh,uhâsâ fill Loganâs ears as he speeds up, pulling you back up once more against his chest. He wants to be as close as fucking possible, the feel of your skin on his almost searing.
You turn your head back, lips seeking out his own. He kisses you, sucking at your lips as he continues to fuck you vigorously.
The fluttery feeling of your cunt squeezing around him suddenly sends him over the edgeâ low groans falling in your open mouth as hot, searing spurts of come coat your walls.
Knowing that Logan had lost it, finally giving into the temptation like youâd been doing all night, has you whining as your own orgasm surrounds your entire being.
âBabyââ Logan thrusts shallowly, riding your orgasms out as long as he could; if he could, heâd never leave this feeling behind. Seemingly, you agreed as your nails dig into his forearms that hold you up, eyes squeezing shut at the overpowering bliss tingling everywhere. âI got you, itâs okay.â
âLogan, fuck!â It comes out as a huff, head against his sweaty neck, body completely limp in his hold.
Youâd never been so incredibly sex-dazed in your life. From this moment onward, Logan has ruined you for anyone else.
Though, you hope there isnât anyone else.
Logan kisses your head before untangling from you; a smirk dancing across his usually gruff features at the little whine let out as he pulls out. He gently rolls you onto your back, laying your head tenderly on the pillows. It was such a stark difference to the rough way heâd fucked you minutes prior, but butterflies flutter around your stomach all the same.
You watch his eyes trail lower, landing on the mess between your thighs.
Logan is mesmerized by the sight; your pussy is destroyed , so wet with his come seeping out of your hole. Mindlessly, he lowers himself until heieye level with your sex. Sans any warning, his fingers are thrusted back inside.
He ignores your hiss in favor of trying to push his come back inside, to keep you full of him. His eyes meet yours, watching as your chest rises as you observe him. Thereâs a glint in your eye that has his heart stuttering.
âI want to kiss you.â You whisper, soft and a little bashful, as if he didnât have his fingers inside you. You look too fucking perfect, hair returning to its original color, eyes cloudy with unspoken words, a smile gracing your face.
How could he deny you when you looked like that?
Logan kisses your clit once, enjoying the way you jump before removing his fingers.
With those same digits, he sticks them in his mouth, sucking the flavor of you both and humming. He could hear the way your heart picked up at his actions. He releases them with a loud âpopâ, before finally coming back to you.
He hovers over you, and like youâd done earlier, soft hands pull at the chain until his lips melt with yours in a soft kiss. Logan pulls back, resting his head on yours, eyes connecting with yours.
âHi.â You giggle then, nose bumping his in the proximity.
âHi, baby.â Logan kisses your lips once more, before rolling beside you. You wouldâve whined at him if it werenât for the way he immediately pulls you onto his chest.
With your limbs tangled, a kiss pressed to your forehead, you think this could be heaven and if so, you never wanted to leave.
It was quiet for a momentâ the two of you content to listen to one anotherâs heartbeat, the breaths that fall from lips. Then, you break the silence, because of course you do.
âLogan?â
âHmm?â
âJust so you know, Iâm expecting you to take me out before you get me like this again.â You mutter against his slick chest, where your head rests as you wrap yourself around the man like a koala.
A deep laugh fills the room, chest rumbling because what the fuck?
Heâs fucked you, with his mouth and cock, and now youâre laying on him as his come seeps out of you and youâre demanding him to take you out?
He was going to in the first place, but he thinks itâs cute you decided for him.
Logan may be a man thatâs been alive for almost two centuries, practically immortal, but itâs completely possible youâll be the death of him.
ËïœĄââĄâĄâĄâïœĄË fin
tags: @strangererotica @cevansbaby-dove @morganyourone @asiancupid
#logan howlett xmen#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett fic#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett smut#logan x reader#logan xmen#logan wolverine#logan howlett#xmen origins#xmen#x men movies#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine x you#wolverine fanfic#the wolverine#wolverine x men#the worst logan x reader#wolverine#wolverine x reader
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I'd Answer
You've been gone. Azriel's been broken. Something has to change, and Azriel would do anything.
Part 2 of If You Cared to Ask
âThis is for you,â Mor huffed, plopping down a small bouquet of roses onto the growing garden that seemed to have sprouted on the table. âWhat is that, number twelve?âÂ
âI donât know, I donât count them,â you brushed off, your gaze falling on the gifts for a fleeting moment.
Mor hummed. âAre they doing anything for you?âÂ
âNot particularly.âÂ
Your friend shuffled into the small sitting room and gracefully landed in the chair beside yours, her eyes piercing a hole in the side of your head when you refused to look up. She sighed, and then sighed again, making a show of slotting her chin in her palm and looking forlorn.Â
The third sigh was your breaking point.Â
You placed your book on the table and turned to Mor with your brows raised. âYes?âÂ
âOh, nothing,â she airily replied. âI was just wondering when you were going to give this up. You donât have to forgive the guy, but at least put me out of my misery and let me tell him where youâre staying. Iâm basically a delivery service at this point. He says sorry again, by the way.âÂ
âOh, well in that caseââÂ
âMore than just sorry, but I canât remember everything he said. It was all rambly and his face was all gaunt.â Mor pressed her fingers up to cover her eyes. âIâm not even sure if heâs eating. Rhys had to stop sending him out because he almost fell out of the sky.â
âIs this supposed to make me feel bad?â
You hoped your ruse was believable because hearing that Azriel was doing so poorly did make you feel bad. Your heart lept up to your throat at the prospect of your mate falling from the sky from exhaustion. But he had had so many opportunities to make this right and you werenât about to give up your anger so easily.Â
Mor offered a sad expression that looked authentic this time. âY/n, he loves you. Heâs an idiot and the whole lot of them are mindless fools, but Azriel has never loved anything the way he loves you.âÂ
âYeah, Iâm sure,â you snorted. âAnd he shows that love by forgetting me and then arguing when Iâm clearly upset over it?âÂ
âI know. He told me how much of an ass heâs been. But, I promise you, Iâve known Azriel for a long time. He was justâjust handling everything with Rhys poorly. He felt so so guilty when Rhys got trapped. You know that.âÂ
You bit the inside of your cheek and avoided Morâs gaze. âI know.âÂ
The lack of vitriol in your tone had Mor perking up. âAnd you remember how hard he tried to get him backâhow broken he was when Rhys sent out his last message. Az feels responsible for everything when it comes to his family.â
You didnât need the reminder. The tortured way he carried himself over the past 50 years was evidence enough of the truth behind Morâs words. And you had been there to soothe that pain, to help run the court that Rhys left behind.Â
When silence persisted, Mor craned her neck to catch your gaze. âIâm not saying what he did was right, but you know heâs been in overdrive since Rhys returned. He goes off on those missions when Rhys calls, but⊠y/n, he only leaves without notice when his informantsâŠâÂ
Mor trailed off.Â
Your gaze finally flickered up. âWhen?âÂ
Mor bit her lip and winced. âHe told me not to tell you this part. He said he didnât want you to think he was making excuses.âÂ
âTell me anyways.âÂ
âFine. But you canât rat me out.â Mor sighed and leaned back in the chair, still facing you. âHe does go on every mission Rhys proposes, and thatâs⊠stupid, but he tells you about those ones, I think. When he just up and leaves, itâs becauseây/n, itâs because they're about you. You know thereâs a slew of people that want you dead for your involvement up in Illyria. He has a team of informants with the sole purpose of listening for you name.
âHe goes on Rhysâs missions because he doesnât want his family separated again, but sometimes, itâs because he just wants to protect his mate.âÂ
A stone dropped past your ribs and into your stomach. âBut, he never told meââÂ
âYou know these overgrown bats think that suffering in silence is an honorable thing to do,â Mor rolled her eyes. âThey overwork themselves fighting the good fight or whatever and seem to forget that the rest of the world is still out there, facing the consequences of their actions. And⊠I think he just wanted you to feel safe. I think heâs been scared.âÂ
Something sickly climbed its way up your consciousness. You looked down at your hands as they rested in your lap.Â
You hadnât seen Azriel in six days, and each day had more anger coursing through you, building up a wall that you thought impenetrable. Because you were so angry; Azriel had disappointed you time and time again, left you feeling abandoned and alone, and then he got defensive about it as if you were the one at fault.Â
Part of you always knew it was a defense of some sort, but you had thought it a defense of something nefarious. You had tossed around the idea of infidelity a few times, and that rivaled the thought of him simply falling out of love with you.Â
But it was this.Â
It was him hiding how hard heâd been trying to protect youâhowever idiotic his tactics may have been.Â
âYou can tell him where I am,â you murmured clenching your fingers into your palm. âAnd leave the door unlocked, I guess.âÂ
Mor had left the small apartment on the outskirts of Velaris before you finished your sentence.Â
It took approximately 7 minutes for a tentative knock to sound at your door.Â
Mor had left it unlocked, but there was still a knock.Â
You took a glance at the pile of flowers on the table before heading to the front door. The old floorboards creaked under your feet, a reminder of the rundown apartment you had sought out after you left. It was a frantic process, searching for a place to stay; you hadnât cared much for luxury or comfort. Â
Opening the door was jarring. Azrielâs wings were half-raised as if heâd just flown down and then forgot how to control them. His face was pallid with dark smudges beneath his eyes. His hair was windswept, expected from the flight, but it looked tugged at and disheveled beyond that.Â
âHi.âÂ
Maybe youâd been looking him over too long because Azrielâs voice cracked at the single word. He sounded unsure, verging on afraid, and all you had done was pass over his figure with your eyes.Â
You tightened your grip on the door handle. âUm, hi.â Your tone was harsher than you meant it to be.Â
Azriel flinched. âIâm sorry, Mor saidâŠâÂ
âNo, IâCome in.âÂ
You stepped back and pushed the door open to accommodate his hesitant steps into your rental. Azriel stood in the middle of the space and wrung his hands as you shuffled behind him, a slight tremor showing in his fingers. You leaned back against the door with your own hands pressed at the small of your back. You watched Azrielâs lingering gaze trail over the flowers in the corner of the room.Â
âYou didnât like them?â he meekly asked.Â
Something inside of you hurt.Â
âThey were okay,â you answered. âBut I didnât want flowers.âÂ
Azriel nodded and his lashes fluttered shut. His hands twitched.Â
âIâm sorryâfor the flowers, I mean. They were a pathetic reason to send Mor to you. You wanted to be left alone.âÂ
âI did not want to be left alone, Azriel.â You kicked away from the door, bringing your arms across your chest for some form of protection. âI wanted you. I wanted you to care about me.â
âI do,â Azriel stressed. He took a step forward and the wood beneath his boot creaked. âI do, y/n. I care about you more than anythingâI love you.âÂ
âThen why couldnât you show me? Why did it take me leaving, me getting hurt, for you to finally listen to me and see how much Iâve needed you?âÂ
Your chest was heaving, each word from your lips a choked gasp. Azriel took all of it and absorbed your full meaning, seeming to wince at every insinuation that he didnât love you. His jaw quivered and he opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.Â
âWhy did you stop talking to me?â you asked, a broken rendition of your anger. âWhyâMor told me⊠She told me things. Things that make sense. But why does it feel like I donât matter to you?âÂ
âMy love,â Azriel stressed. Yearned. He rushed forward, abandoning all reservations and gathering you into his arms as tears began making headway down your cheeks. âIâm so sorry, baby. I canâtâIâm so so sorry.â His words were almost lost against your temple as he held you, each apology a whisper of a kiss against your skin.Â
âYou werenât there and DevlonâheââÂ
âI know, angel, I know and Iâm so sorry. Had I known⊠Had I listened.â He pulled you back from his chest, crouching down to meet your eye and wiping tears from your cheeks. âAll Iâve ever wanted to do was keep you safe. I thought I was doing that. I donât know what Mor told youââÂ
âShe told me everything. She told me youâve been following leads about me and taking on too much. She told me youâre scared.âÂ
Azriel breathed and it sounded anguished. âI am terrified. We lost Rhysand and now you are in the throes of a society that almost killed me. IâI wake up every morning and everything is good and I am so afraid to lose that. I thought I was protecting you, protecting us. But I almost lost you andââÂ
You let out a breathy cry. âYou could never lose me, Azriel.âÂ
He pressed his forehead to yours, the wetness of his cheeks now apparent. Azrielâs hands were firm on either side of your head and his fingers laced up into your hair.Â
Gods, you missed him.Â
You missed him and everything hurt.Â
âIâll do better. Iâll be better. Just pleaseâplease, donât leave again. Please come home. Let me fix this.â
The want was overwhelming. It would be so easy to say yes, but it would be just as easy for nothing to change.Â
âYou canât do that again, Azriel,â you stressed, shaking your head and causing your mate to draw back. Only a breath was left between you. âYou have to tell me whatâs going on. You canâtâyou canât leave me in the dark. You canât make me feel like that.â
Azrielâs head shook in desperation. âI wonât. I promise I wonât.âÂ
âI need to know I can rely on youâtrust you.âÂ
âYou can, angel.âÂ
âI need to know that you love me.âÂ
A pained sound escaped Azrielâs throat. He licked his lips and reaffirmed his hold on your face, locking his eyes with yours in a beseeching gaze.Â
âI love you more than life itself, angel. I couldnât breathe when you were gone. I canât believe I made you think that I donât. You are my life. Let me show you. Please, let me show you.â
You tracked your eyes between both of his. âOkay, Azriel.âÂ
âIâm going to keep you safe.â
âI am safe.âÂ
âI love you.âÂ
"I know you do, Az. I know."
#azriel x reader#azriel x you#azriel x female!reader#azriel acotar#azriel shadowsinger#azriel spymaster#azriel fanfic#acotar#acotar fanfiction#azriel angst#azriel x y/n
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Ok hear me out....
What would happen if Sofia still wanted to try to get with Rafe so she befriends reader in hopes of getting on his good side.
Anyway, I loved Never Say Never!! keep up the AMAZING writing queen!!! Much love!
Who invited you? || Rafe Cameron x fem!reader
A/n: love this request!!!
Warnings: swearing, smoking, typical Rafe being Rafe
Word count: 1,947
MASTERLIST
divider by @h-aewo
Sofiaâs eyes widened slightly as the taxi pulled up in front of your house on Figure Eight. She double-checked your text message, confirming that this luxurious beachfront home was indeed your address.
Tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, she took a deep breath and made her way to the front door. Her heart pounded as she knocked, the sound echoing in the quiet of the early evening. After a few seconds, the door swung open, revealing a young boy who looked to be a couple of years younger than her.
âCan I help you?â he asked, his eyes curious but friendly. âHi! Iâm here for Y/nâs, uhmââ Sofia began nervously, glancing down at the text message on her phone for reassurance.
âOh! Yeah, sheâs out back on the boat. Youâre here pretty early,â he said, cutting her off with a friendly smile. He stepped aside, opening the door wider. âCome on in. Iâm Jayden, by the way, Y/nâs brother.â
Jayden extended his hand for a handshake. Sofia hesitated for a moment, a bit taken aback by the formal gesture, but then she smiled and shook his hand warmly.âNice to meet you, Jayden,â she replied, feeling a bit more at ease.
Jayden led her through the spacious, elegantly decorated interior of the house. Sofia couldnât help but admire the high ceilings, the tasteful art on the walls, and the overall sense of coastal luxury that pervaded the home. They walked through a large living room with floor-to-ceiling windows that offered a stunning view of the marshland and the sound beyond.
As they stepped outside, the backyard opened up to a beautifully landscaped garden that led to a long dock stretching out over the marsh grass. Sofiaâs eyes widened again as she spotted the boatâmore of a yachtâdocked at the end of the pier.
âTheyâre just in there,â Jayden said, pointing towards the yacht. His casual tone made it seem like having a yacht was no big deal, but Sofia couldnât help but be impressed.
âThank you,â she said, offering him a grateful smile before starting down the dock. Sofia was slightly taken aback when you invited her to your house for a boat trip after only knowing her for a couple of days. She had hoped you might be the typical kook bitch like every other on the island, but you had been so sweet and kind, which made her feel guilty. After all, Sofiaâs initial intent was to get to know you only to get closer to Rafe.
Stepping onto the luxurious yacht, she noticed the quietness, save for the soft lapping of the water against the hull. The deck was immaculate, with plush seating and gleaming railings, exuding an air of understated elegance. Sofia took a moment to steady herself, her nerves and guilt mingling.
~
âRafe,â you quietly giggle, his lips trailing along your jawline as his hand moves up your thigh, deftly untying your bikini bottom. âSomeone could see!â you try to reason, though the way you tilt your head to give him better access contradicts your words.
âYeah? Like who?â he chuckles, making you playfully roll your eyes. âOhââ a sudden voice interrupts, making you turn your head toward the sound. Your eyes widen at the sight of Sofia standing there awkwardly. You gently push Rafe off of you, causing him to groan in protest.
âBabe, câmonââ Rafeâs gaze follows yours and lands on Sofia. He pauses for a moment before he rolls his eyes, reluctantly helping you adjust your bikini bottoms as you quickly stand up and retie them securely. You offer Sofia an awkward smile, noting her eyes darting between you and Rafe.
âSof, youâre here a bit early,â you chuckle, trying to lighten the mood. Sofia slowly nods, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. âYeah, sorry about that,â she apologizes, shifting uncomfortably. âItâs okayââ you begin, but Rafe cuts you off, his tone sharp and irritated.
âWhat is she doing here?â he snaps at Sofia, his eyes narrowing. You turn to him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. âI invited her, Rafe. Do you have a problem with that?â you retort, crossing your arms defiantly. The tension between you is palpable as Rafe rolls his eyes and stands up, grabbing a shirt to put on.
âWhatever,â he mumbles, brushing past you and Sofia. âIâll be inside,â he calls out over his shoulder before slamming the door behind him with a loud thud.
The silence that follows is heavy and awkward. You take a deep breath, trying to compose yourself, and offer Sofia a more genuine smile. âIâm really sorry about that. Come on, letâs go inside and get a drink or something,â you suggest, hoping to ease the tension. Sofia nods, clearly relieved to move past the uncomfortable moment.
You lead her towards the yachtâs main cabin, the earlier tension slowly dissipating with each step. As you enter, the soft lighting and elegant interior create a warm and inviting atmosphere. You gesture towards the plush seating area and the small, well-stocked bar.
âMake yourself comfortable,â you say, heading to the bar to pour drinks. âWhat would you like?â âJust water, please,â Sofia replies, her voice still a bit shaky. You hand her a glass of water and take a seat beside her. âIâm really glad you came,â you say sincerely. âI wanted to get to know you better.â Sofia smiles, albeit a bit hesitantly. âThanks. I appreciate the invite.â
âOf course,â you smile, taking a sip of your drink. A moment of silence follows, filled only by the distant sound of water lapping against the hull. âIâm really sorry for interrupting you and Rafe. Iââ Sofia begins, but you shake your head, giving her a reassuring pat on the leg.
âPlease, donât worry about it,â you say, trying to put her at ease. Another awkward silence ensues, your eyes wandering around the luxurious interior for a moment. The elegant furnishings and soft lighting create a serene atmosphere, but the tension lingers.
âIs Rafe okay with me being here?â Sofia questions, glancing down the hallway to where Rafe had disappeared.âI donât really know what his problem is, to be honest. Do you guys know each other personally?â you ask, tilting your head at her. Sofia quickly swallows her drink and wipes the corners of her mouth.
âNo, not really. I just see him often when Iâm working,â she replies, nodding. You hum in response, pondering her answer. âSo, uh, how long have you and Rafe been together?â Sofia asks, her fingers drumming nervously against the table.
âThree months now, I think? But weâve known each other since we were in nappies. Our parents are best friends,â you explain, smiling as you swirl the contents of your drink in your glass. âWow,â Sofia says, clearly surprised. She hadnât realized you and Rafe had such a long history.
âWhat about you, Sof? Got anyone special?â you playfully tease, causing her to chuckle. âThereâs this guy,â she starts, and your eyes widen with interest. âTell me more!â you urge, fully turning your body towards her. She chuckles again, a bit more at ease now.
âIâve liked him for so long. Heâs always at the country club, and heâs just soâso gorgeous,â Sofia sighs, resting her chin on her hand as she thinks of Rafe. âBut whatâs stopping you?â you ask, noticing her eyes dart away. âHeâs got a girlfriend,â Sofia says, her tone defeated. Your lips form an âoâ of understanding.
âThatâs tough,â you sigh, feeling sympathy for her predicament. âUnrequited love is the worst.â Sofia nods, her eyes looking down at her drink. âYeah, it is. But itâs nice to talk about it, though.â
âIâm glad you feel that way,â you say, giving her a warm smile. âSo, this guy,â you say, circling back to the topic. âDoes he know how you feel?â Sofia shakes her head. âNo, I donât think so. Iâve never told him. I mean, heâs with someone else, and I donât want to cause any drama.â
âThatâs understandable,â you say thoughtfully. âBut sometimes, itâs better to be honest with your feelings. You never knowâmaybe he feels the same way but doesnât know how to approach it.â Sofiaâs eyes flicker with a mix of hope and uncertainty. âI donât know. Itâs complicated.â
The evening wears on and it was soon time for other people to arrive. You glance at your watch, realizing how much time has passed. âI should probably check on Rafe,â you say, standing up. âWant to come with me?â Sofia hesitates but then nods. âSure, why not.â
You both head down the hallway towards the cabin where Rafe retreated earlier. As you open the door, you find him lounging on a couch, scrolling through his phone. He looks up, his expression softening when he sees you but hardening slightly at the sight of Sofia.
âHey, we were just talking and thought weâd check on you,â you say, smiling. Rafe shrugs. âIâm fine. Just needed a breather.â You sit down beside him, and he pulls you close to him while Sofia stands awkwardly by the door. The tension is still there, but you hope that with time, things will become smoother.
~
âHow are you okay with this?â Rafe questions, taking a long drag from his cigarette before exhaling, the smoke dancing around him. You swat the smoke away from your face, trying to avoid its acrid scent.
âWhat do you mean?â you reply, confusion evident in your tone. Rafe scoffs, shaking his head in frustration. His gaze drifts over to where Sofia is sitting beside Sarah, their laughter and conversation seemingly distant from the tension between you and Rafe. He locks eyes with Sofia for a moment before turning back to you.
âItâs so fuckinâ obvious she likes me, babe,â he says, his eyes now trained on the water, his voice tinged with annoyance. His words catch you off guard, and youâre taken aback slightly.
âWhat?â you manage to utter, your mind racing to process his statement. âWhy else would she wanna be friends with you?â Rafe continues, his tone hurtful and biting. The sting of his comment hits you hard, a mix of shock and pain swirling inside you.
âRafe, thatâs not fair,â you protest, trying to keep your voice steady despite the hurt you feel. âSheâs trying to be my friend. Not everything revolves around you.â Rafe scoffs again, the sound dismissive and cold. âYouâre too trusting, babe. Canât you see sheâs using you to get to me?â
You shake your head, disbelief mingling with the hurt. âSofia has been nothing but nice to me. Sheâs not like that.â Rafeâs eyes finally meet yours, a flicker of something unreadable in his gaze. âYouâre too naive. She likes me, and itâs obvious to everyone but you.â
The weight of his words settles heavily on your heart. You glance over at Sofia, who is now looking in your direction, concern etched on her face. The nightâs events swirl in your mind, and you canât help but feel a pang of betrayal, even though you want to believe in Sofiaâs sincerity.
âMaybe youâre right,â you say softly, looking down at the deck, unable to meet his gaze. âBut I still want to give her a chance.â Rafe exhales sharply, the smoke dissipating into the night air. âDo what you want,â he mutters, standing up and tossing his cigarette into the water. âJust donât come crying to me when it all falls apart.â
âRafe,â you softly call out, but heâs already walking away, his back rigid with frustration. Sofia, who had been watching from afar, makes her way towards you. As she passes by Rafe, he grabs her forearm, pulling her close to whisper something in her ear
You watch as Sofiaâs face drops, the color draining from her cheeks. Her eyes widen, and she looks almost stricken. Rafe releases her arm and continues on his way, disappearing inside the yacht.
Sofia stands there for a moment, frozen, before she slowly makes her way to you. The concern in her eyes is palpable, and her usual bright demeanor is clouded by whatever Rafe just told her. âSof, are you okay?â you ask, worry lacing your voice. You gently place a hand on her shoulder, trying to comfort her.
Sofia takes a shaky breath, avoiding your gaze. âYeah, Iâm fine,â she replies, but her voice trembles, betraying her true feelings. âWhat did he say to you?â you press gently, sensing the weight of whatever Rafe whispered to her.
Sofia hesitates, her eyes darting away. âItâs nothing, really,â she insists, though her tone is unconvincing. âJust⊠Rafe being Rafe.â You frown, not satisfied with her evasive answer. âSofia, you can tell me. If Rafe said something to upset you, I need to know.â
She finally meets your eyes, her expression a mix of confusion and hurt. âHe told me to stay away from you,â she admits, her voice barely above a whisper. âHe said Iâm not welcome here and that I should leave you alone.â
Sofiaâs eyes well up with tears, but she quickly blinks them away. âHeâs right you know. And Iâm so sorry, Iâm just gonna go.â
#drew starkey#rafe cameron#fanfiction#outer banks#rafe cameron x reader#drew starkey x reader#drew starkey x y/n#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron x you#obx fanfiction#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x smut#rafe cameron x kook!reader#outerbanks rafe#outer banks x reader#outer banks x y/n#outer banks x you#outer banks fanfiction#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe obx#rafe cameron au#drew starkey x you#drew starkey x female reader#drew starkey x oc#rafe cameron x oc#dark rafe cameron#rafe fic#rafe cameron imagine
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summary: your roommate James plots to befriend a shy you
part 1 â part 2 â part 3 â part 4 âpart 5 â part 6 â part 7 â part 8 â part 9 â part 10 â part 11 â part 12 â part 13
roommate!James x shy!reader ⥠1k words
The apartment is loud and messy when you come home, and James immediately feels bad about it. You freeze in the door like a doe in the woods, a few of his friends pausing their conversations to greet you from where theyâre scattered haphazardly about the living room.Â
You give a terse smile and beeline for the stairs. Youâre wearing your work clothes, dirty and rumpled from a long shift, and it doesnât escape Jamesâ notice that youâve bypassed the kitchen in your hurry to get to your room. You seem to have an aversion to being witnessed. He makes a mental note to check that youâve eaten later.Â
âOh, do you work at Rizzoâs?â Lily asks you, evidently recognizing the uniform. You stall halfway up the stairs, and James suppresses a smile at your obvious reluctance.Â
âYeah,â you reply, voice even quieter than usual.Â
âMy friend works there.â Lilyâs friendly demeanor is unphased by your timidity. The two of you have met before, like youâve met most of his friends, in passing. âDo you know Mona?âÂ
You nod, easing up a bit. James wonders at the fact that youâve lingered as long as you have, but then he notices Sirius noticing you, and he prays his friend doesnât say anything to make you regret it.Â
âYeah, weâve worked some of the same shifts,â you say. âSheâs nice.âÂ
Lily grins at the confirmation. James braces himself as Sirius angles his head.Â
âWhat do you do there, lovely?âÂ
The endearment instantly flusters you. Your shoulders tighten and your hand flexes on the banister as though to keep yourself from bolting. âIâm a host,â you say.Â
âThatâs nice.â Siriusâ grin is intentionally disarming, lopsided and flirtatious. You look as though youâre not sure what to make of it. âIâm sure it makes for good business to have the pretty girls welcoming customers.âÂ
Itâs your last straw. You mumble something about it being nice to see them and all but dash up to your room. James hears your door shut with a soft click.Â
Sirius frowns. âSkittish thing, isnât she?âÂ
âTosser.â Remus pulls him roughly against his side, rolling his eyes when Sirius wraps his arms around his boyfriendâs torso sulkily.Â
âI was paying her a compliment.â Â
âSheâs just shy.â James doesnât know why he feels the need to explain you, exactly. Your diffidence is fairly obvious now, but he still feels a bit guilty for thinking you just hated him when he first moved in. After knowing Remus for so long, he thought heâd be able to tell the difference between shyness and standoffishness. Now apparently he feels responsible for liaising between you and his friends. âYou knew you were going to embarrass her, prick.âÂ
The conversation turns to Siriusâ tendency to verbally prod at those with quieter demeanors, which he denies vehemently and Remus corroborates with pointed looks but not much commentary.Â
Once theyâve gone, James goes up to your room with a sandwich. The door is cracked but he knocks anyway, waiting for your quiet âcome inâ before he pushes it the rest of the way open.Â
âFigured you mightâve missed dinner,â he says by way of greeting, going to set the plate down on your bed.Â
It takes effort not to let his eyes roam the room. He can see in his periphery that your desk is cluttered but neat and your walls covered with pictures and art. An effect of your reticence is that, aside from what sort of shampoo you use and how often you need to restock the milk in the fridge, James knows very little about you. He knows youâre a good roommate. Youâre clean, you donât bicker about the thermostat, and you havenât even seemed cross with him for eating the rest of your oreos (which heâs going to replace, seriously, as soon as he remembers to go to the store). Youâre quiet, obviously, but along with that you seem kind.Â
Honestly, it makes him a bit uncomfortable that you donât seem to want to be friends. James is only human; he likes being liked, even more so by nice girls with pretty smiles, and it seems crucial that he be liked by nice girls with pretty smiles who he shares a living space with. If youâre going to brush your teeth using the same sink as somebody, you should be on good terms. James believes this.Â
And though he hasnât had to work so hard for friendship in some years, he is diligent. He thinks heâll bring you around yet.Â
Evidence of progress: the happy-surprised look in your eyes when you spot the sandwich.Â
âThank you,â you say, a tender sort of bemusement lining your words. âYou didnât have to do this.âÂ
âWell, if youâve actually missed dinner, you probably ought to eat something more substantial,â James hedges. He pushes his luck, sitting across from you on your bed. âI donât want to be an accomplice to your snacks-for-meals agenda.â That wins him a small smile. âBut I do feel bad, keeping you from your own kitchen because I have friends over.âÂ
Your eyes flit away at the last bit. You take a hearty bite of your sandwich, chewing to avoid a reply.
âYou should know, you are actually paying rent for the whole apartment,â he says, ânot just your room.âÂ
You look chastened as you swallow, but you wave him off. âI wouldâve gone down to get something later,â you say airily. âI didnât want to infringe on your time with your friends.âÂ
âYou?â James actually laughs. âNever. Trust me, we see plenty of each other. They could probably use a fresh face.â
You roll your eyes. Itâs a ploy to keep from looking at him, heâs certain of it. âWell, regardless, you shouldnât worry about it. I wasnât starving.âÂ
âLetâs hope it doesnât come to that.â Your mattress creaks as James stands. Some of the stiffness to your posture eases, and he wonders if youâre relieved to see him go, but you look up with another small smile. Pretty.Â
âThanks for the sandwich,â you say.Â
âYou should really have another one,â he replies, grinning back because of forces beyond his control. He starts backing out of the room. âDo you want me to make it? Actually, donât answer that. Iâm making it.âÂ
Your quiet laughter follows him down the stairs.Â
#roommate!james potter#shy!reader#roommate!james potter x shy!reader#james potter au#james potter#james potter x shy!reader#james potter x reader#james potter x fem!reader#james potter x y/n#james potter x you#james potter x self insert#james potter fanfiction#james potter fanfic#james potter fic#james potter fluff#james potter imagine#james potter scenario#james potter drabble#james potter blurb#james potter one shot#james potter oneshot#marauders#marauders fanfiction#marauders fandom#the marauders#hp marauders#marauders x reader#marauders au
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HI ILY!!! i was wondering if u could do a argument fic likeeeee katsuki and reader got into a argument and they are both DISTRAUGHT bc theyâre so corny and in love and hate fighting but the argument was bad and theyâre oh so sad whatever whatever !! and katsuki has to make it up to them EEE !! PLEASE I LIVE EAT SLEEP AND BREATHE UR FANFICS !! LOVE U CASHHHđ€
operation : trouble in paradise !
katsuki tries to get his boyfriend privileges back..
EEEE TYSM AND I ACTUALLY LOVE THIS ASK !! Its my guilty pleasure like both parties hating to argue bc they love each other so much im so sorry thatâs adorable. and again ty SOOO much !!! hope you enjoy, ive actually gotten a similar ask, so that one ill try to have that come out soon !
FEM READER, katsuki is melodramatic, argument, fluff fluff despite argument, 3rd year bk squad boys !, kissing, making up yipeee, reader likes flowers,lemme know if i missed sum else !
âshe fuckinâ hates me.â
for the past ten minutes heâd barged into kirishimaâs room, bakugou has been moping. wallowing, even.
âno she doesnât, man..â kirishima reassured. for the umpteenth time, heâs honestly lost count. heâd tried putting a hand on the boyâs shoulder earlier but said boy had shrugged him off angrily, grumbling out a dramatic âdonât touch me.â despite being flopped face down on his bed.
âi know her better, kirishima. yes she does.â the blonde insists, voice muffled by the redheadâs pillows. kirishima sighs, patting his friends leg before making his way to his office chair across from the bed, ignoring the muffled grumbles bakugou lets out.
âhow bout you just..go apologize ?â
âi already told you i canât. sheââ
âyeah, she hates you. got it.â kirishima finishes his friends sentence, causing the blond to groan. âlook dude, youâll never know unless you try. youâve been together for ages now.â
âa year.â katsuki corrects, he purposely forgets to mention he knows exactly how many months it has been too. kirishima nods excitedly, trying to get him out of his frankly sad state. âyeah ! so, this shouldnât be anything man. arguments happen all the time, no matter how much you love each other.â
katsuki feels his ears burn at the word love on his friends lips, heâs told you he loved you of course. but it still felt weird to acknowledge it.
he turns just enough for his scowl to be visible to his friend, who sends him an encouraging smile.
âso what the fuck do i do then ?â kirishima grins wider, sharp teeth on display. âthere we go, thatâs more like ya, dude !â he exclaims. he quickly shuffles to grab a notepad strewn onto his messy desk (kirishimaâs desk was so messy it made katsuki itch sometimes, a shiver almost passes through him whenever he sees the state itâs in)
kirishima drops onto the floor, placing the notepad onto his mattress and scribbling, with a pen katsuki has no idea where he fished out, a messy âoperation: get your bf privileges back !!!!!!â bakugou fixes kirishima with a dead look, the other only tilts his head, still cheerful.
âwhat ?â
âwhat the fuck is this, kirishima.â
kirishima scoffs at the blondeâs dead tone, âlisten man, you wanna win your girlfriend back or not ?!â bakugou squints at him, hard. but only letâs out a loud sigh. kirishima takes that as his answer and with a nod continues writing down notes.
katsuki groans to himself, looking down at his friend scribbling down his grand plan, and he better hope it works.
maybe you should call him..
no, you wonât. it was his fault you were like this anyway.
..but maybe you went a bit too far..?
ugh. you groan, rolling around in your bed. youâd tried to distract yourself by going through your tiktok feed but it seemed the world was against you or your fbi agent hated your guts. your feed was either overly cutesy couples content that made you miss your angry blond, or break up videos that made you miss him even more.
ugh. you shove your head even harder in your pillows.
youâre really trying to hold your ground, because you want katsuki to know heâd hurt your feelings, but now that you think about it you donât even remember what youâd argued about. it was petty for sure, youâre about 80% sure it was a petty argument.
maybe you shouldâ
you shake your head, steeling your nerves. so what if it was a dumb argument ?! that didnât mean he could get away with everything!
âuuuugh,â you groan out loud, you miss your katsuki.
a knock at your door startles you. it must be mina, youâd texted her earlier that you were mad at your boyfriend and sheâd told you that she âexcepted all the deets of what his dumbass did this time as SOON as i get back !!!!â and you were waiting, maybe venting about it could make you feel better and less dramatic.
you open your door expecting to see your overly excited best friend. but insteadâ
flowers, almost whacking you in the face you might add, are shoved in your face before you can get a word out. you squeak in shock, theyâre pretty though, your favorites. and you know only one person who knows what your favorite flowers are.
âwh-katsuki ?!â
and there he is, red faced and angry. scowl on his face and bouquet of pretty flowers in hand.
you canât tear your eyes away from him, he canât keep his eyes in one spotâflying from you occasionally to your door to the flowers and repeat. he blinks, you blink.
âhere.â he grunts, waving the flowers towards you. âfâr you.â he glances at you.
âo-oh !â you exclaim suddenly, whisking the flowers towards yourself. the bouquet is big, itâs definitely a bit bigger than your head. katsuki searches your face to gauge your reactionâiâuhm! thank you..â you utter shyly, katsuki grunts. he shoves his hands in his pockets the moment youâve gripped the bouquet, kicking at something you canât see on the floor.
your heart skips a beat. tentatively, you lean against the door âdidnât take you for a flower guy..â
he scoffs, kicking the toe of his sneakers against the floor ââm not.. but you like these, right ?â
trick question. he knows you do, you mentioned in passing these were your favorites, unless you suddenly decided you didnât like these anymore. then heâs fucked. but he decides to continue despite the worry growing in his lower belly, the plan was already a go now.
âiâuhm, listen..â your boyfriend fumbles, he throws his head back and groans when his words wonât come out right. you give him a tiny smile, his eyes soften just a bit.
âi fucked up, okay ?â he admits, scratching at his nape âshouldnât have said all that shit to you, or whatever..â you can tell heâs beyond embarrassed. heâd melt if he could get any redder, he keeps scratching and wonât look at you for more than a few seconds at a time and katsuki whoâs always the loudest in the room can barely manage a mumble. you know he means it though, he never did anything he didnât feel like doing. you wait for him to continue and he looks at you then.
âi donât ever like arguing with you. ever.â he insists âso jus..forgive me, kay ?â he finishes quietly. your heart jumps and leaps and you canât stand acting cold anymore. you walk a bit closer to him, the flowers block you from fully being close to him.
katsukiâs eyes are wide as you lean in to kiss right next to his lips, you laugh at his bewildered expression and his eyes soften when he snaps out of it. he rolls his eyes, you smile wider.
âi forgive you, iâm sorry too. i donât like arguing with you either..â you admit, katsuki reaches for your hand, you feel the tips of his fingers brush against your skin, you give it to him and he grips it tight. then he leans in and presses a kiss to your lips, itâs a sweet little apology kiss that turns a bit too passionate after a while, and you pull him towards you and into your room away from prying eyes. katsuki kicks the door shut behind him and pulls you closer by your waist.
âguess i gottaâthank shitty hair..â he mumbles in between kisses, âanâ i owe him twenty bucks.â
you make a noise against his lips and pull away, raising a brow and holding his shoulders when he tries to lean in to kiss you again. âwhatâs that mean ?â
your boyfriend huffs âtold shitty hair iâd give him twenty bucks if his shitty plan worked.â
âplan, what plan ?â you ask, katsuki squints at you, a grumbling noise comes from his throat, almost a whine.
âyer really gonna make me spell it out arenât you..â he mutter bitterly, shoving his head in your neck. he continues, âshitty hair helped me come up with a plan to make you not mad at me anymore. i told him it wouldnât work, he said it would, and we bet on it.â
you laugh in disbelief, katsuki chomps at your neck to silence you, squeezes his arms tighter around your stomach to make you wheeze, but you canât stop laughing. âthatâs so cute !â
âshaddup.â he growls in response. you muffle your giggles in his shoulder. katsuki grumbles some more and you run your hands up and down his back.
âwell then,â you hum, pressing a kiss to his nape, his arms around you tighten. âi guess weâll both have to thank kiri then.â
#kiri the goat#tysm for this ask im genuinely losing it#bakugou katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugou x reader#bakugo fluff#bakugou imagine#bakugou x reader#katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugou katsuki#bakugo katsuki x reader#eijirou kirishima#lbakugou katsuki x reader#katsuki x y/n#katsuki x you#katsuki bakugou drabble#katsuki bakugou x female reader#bakugou x fem!reader#katsuki bakugou x you#bakugou x you#katsuki bakugo x you#katsuki bakugo x female reader#katsuki bakugo x y/n#bakugo x you#bakugo x y/n#bakugo x female reader#im lowkey on a roll#cashâs one fic a day!!#..hopefully#changed the title rq you didnt see shit
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splash
Jackson! Joel Miller x Female Reader
snapshots masterlist
summary: You come home from your first day back out on patrol and find Joel giving your daughter a bath.
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. JACKSON ERA. GIRLDAD!JOEL. established relationship. this specific work does not mention readerâs age (other works in this series may mention she is younger than Joel), no physical description of reader, Rosemary comes with a slight physical description (she has Joelâs hair color/hair type and eye color, no mentions of her skin tone). brief mention of Sarah, brief mention of Joel being a single father pre outbreak, Joel and Ellie are fine because i said so and itâs what he deserves, okay? general fluff and a lot of cuteness, brief smutty themes, but nothing explicit. minimal editing.
word count: 2.3k
a/n: short little thing, but this feels like the cutest thing i have written in a while. if you enjoy it, please consider reblogging or leaving a comment <33
Joel sighs to himself as he scrapes the remnants of Rosemaryâs lunch into the bin of food scraps beside the kitchen counterâthe neighborâs chickens were in for a real treat tomorrow morning when he dropped them off on his way to patrol. He had just about coaxed his two and a half year old daughter into eating the crust of her jam sandwich when Ellie walked into the kitchen with a soccer ball tucked under her arm, a trade he was fairly certain sheâd made more for the toddlerâs sake than her own.
She was sixteen now, spent more time with her friends than she did with her family lately, but her soft spot for the little girl always, always brought her back home.
âHey kid, look what Iâve got,â Ellie had grinned, holding the ball out for the child to see. âWhat do you say we go out back and kick this thing around? Sound like fun?â
He frowned, the creases between his brows deepening.
âEllie, canât you see Iâm in the middle of feedinâ herââ
But it had been too late.
Rosieâs dark brown eyes widened, and she squealed in delight. âDown! Down!â she had exclaimed, whacking her teeny hands down on top of her wooden high chair on either side of her plate. âDaddy! Down, want down!â
Joel decided to put his foot down.
Well, he had tried to put his foot down, anyway.
âNot âtil youâve finished every last bite, babygirl. Yâgotta finish your sandwich and eat all your carrots, alright?â
âMâall done,â sheâd insisted, placing both hands on her belly. Although Joel would have preferred she clean her plate, you had taught him to honor her fullness cues.
âWe have to listen to Rosemary,â youâd told him. âIf she says sheâs full, then sheâs full. The last thing we want to do is force her to keep eating when sheâs not hungry, Joel. Her relationship with food starts with us, after all.â
âYouâre startinâ to sound like that goddamn child rearinâ book,â he had teased you, earning himself a stern glare.
He liked to give you a hard time about it, but the truth of the matter was, that parenting book you found in the library turned out to be pretty helpful for both of youâwhile this wasnât Joelâs first rodeo, the last time he had been around a child this young was over three decades ago. With Sarah, heâd flown through her childhood by the seat of his pants, went through a lot more trial and error scenarios than he liked to admit.
Often, Joel found himself feeling guilty. He tried to give some credit to the clueless young man in his twenties, the one who had been left to raise his baby girl all on his own when her mom couldnât take it anymore after one year. Things turned out alright, but whenever he sees you with Rosemary, takes in the way you pour your entire heart into being a good mother to yours and his daughter, he canât help but reminisce on his first life, on all those moments he felt so hopelessâall of those moments when he didnât know what to do, and had no one to turn to for help. No one to lean on.
Oh how he wished Sarah could have known what it was like to have both of her parents at her side.
Like Rosie does.
Sighing, Joel places her plate in the sink, along with his own. He turns and glances at the clock on the wallâitâs half past noon, and he knows your early morning patrol group should be arriving back to the townâs main gates any minute now. Sure, caring for Rosemary had served as a decent distraction, but every so often, his anxieties would creep up on him. He worried about you being out there on the other side of the wall. And if you being out there wasnât bad enough, you were out there without him.
âIâm back on the patrol roster next week,â you informed him one evening while the two of you were cleaning the kitchen after supper. You winced when he dropped the plate in his hands into the sink, the loud clanking noise bouncing off the walls. You wasted no time in pleading your case. âItâs been almost three years, Joel. I have to get back to pulling my weight around here. As much as Iâd love to, I canât stay home forever, and you know that as well as I do.â
Slowly, heâd spun around to face you, the muscle in his jaw tickingâhe wasnât happy. âFind another job,â he bit through his teeth. âSomethinâ in town. Somethinâ safe.â
âJoelââ
âYouâre a mother now!â he hissed, angrily.
âAnd youâre a father,â youâd countered without missing a beat. Knowing Joelâs reaction was only coming from a place of concern, you walked up to him and placed a hand on his heaving chest, right over his racing heart in an effort to calm him. âLook, Iâm just capable of getting myself home safely as you are, alright? And if it makes you feel any better, Iâll be partnered with Tommy. Heâll have my back.â
Heâd found very little consolation in that.
Joel sighs again and reaches for the faucet.
âUh, Joel?â Ellieâs voice comes from behind him.
âWhat?â He turns around, his jaw dropping open when he sees her standing there, carefully holding Rosemary out towards him by her underarms. Sheâs covered from head to toe in mud. âWhat the hell did you do to her?â
âYou know how it was raining for like three days?â Ellie shoots him a sheepish smile. âThe ball went into a mud puddle, and well, she sorta went in after it.â
âJesus Christ, sheâs filthy!â Exasperated, Joel narrows his eyes at her. âWhy werenât you watchinâ her?â
âI was, but she was too fast! Kidâs a little speed demon, man. Arenât ya, Rosie?â
Rosie giggles and kicks her dangling feet, mud dripping off her tiny, leather oxford shoes and onto the floor with an audible splatter.
âSheâs gonna be home from patrol any minute now,â he says, shaking his head. âIf she sees Rosie like this, sheâll have my ass, and yours.â Carefully, he takes Rosemary from Ellieâs hands, holding her out and away from him. He jerks his chin towards the dirty floor. âClean up this mess while I take her upstairs and give her a bath. We might just be able to get away with this.â
She gives him a thumbs up. âYou got it, old man.â
âCâmon, Rosie Posie. Letâs get you all washed up before mama gets home and puts all three of us in a timeout.â
She gives him a wide, toothy smile. âOkay, daddy.â
Groaning, you shove through the front door.
You had underestimated how difficult it would be to get back in the saddle of a horse after almost three years of not being in one.
It would take some getting used toâagain.
âFuck,â you hiss, closing the door and leaning against it for support. Your knees. Your thighs. Your lower back.
There isnât a single part of you that isnât aching.
After taking a minute to collect yourself, you push away from the door and toe off your old, brown leather boots, leaving them there near the entryway. You call out, âIâm home!â
âOh hey!â From seemingly out of nowhere, Ellie comes speeding down the hallway, skidding to a stop in front of you with her backpack slung over her shoulder. âJust the person I wanted to see! Mind if I head over to Dinaâs for a while?â
âHow long is a while, El?â
âShe invited me to stay for dinner.â
You raise a knowing eyebrow at her, a smirk tugging at the corners of your mouth. âAgain?â
Flushing, Ellie nods. âYeah.â
âDid you ask Joel for permission?â
âAw come on, man! Do I really have to ask Joel?â She huffs and rolls her eyes. âI can hear him bitching at me already.â Dropping her voice several octaves, she starts to mimic him, accent and all. âYâbeen spending every fuckinâ night over there. Donât you forget youâve got a family, kiddo.â
Amused, you chuckle and lightly nudge her shoulder. âI have to take his side on this one, Ellie. It would be nice for the four of us to have dinner together. You know, like we used to before Dina came into the picture?âÂ
âIâll stay home for dinner for the rest of the week,â Ellie swears, clasping her hands together. âPlease?â
Sighing in defeat, you step aside. âAlright, go ahead. Iâll hold you to your word though, alright?â
âThank you!â she grins as she breezes past you and out the door, slamming it shut behind her.
Shrugging out of your jacket, you hang it up in the hall closet and then head upstairs. âJoel? Are you up here?â Thereâs no answer. You pass by Rosemaryâs room first and peek inside only to find it empty. Furrowing a brow, you head a bit further down the hallway into yours and Joelâs bedroom. Thatâs when you hear his voice coming from the en suite bathroom.
There, you find him kneeling on the tile floor beside the tub, his back to you as he gives your daughter her bath. Hours ahead of her normal schedule, you realize.
Casually leaning against the doorframe, you cross your arms over your chest, and quietly watch them, your lips already curling into a smile.
âWhatâs this?â Joel asks her, holding up a yellow rubber duck. Itâs almost comical how small it looks in the palm of his large hand.
âDuckie!â Rosemary answers, enthusiastically.
He nods. âSâright, honey. Itâs a duckie. And what sound does a duckie make?â
Craning your neck, you catch a glimpse of her sweet little face as she stares at him, her expression a mingle of equal parts curiosity and confusion.
âCâmon now, babygirl,â Joel prompts her, handing her the toy. âMama taught you this already, remember?â
She looks at the rubber duck and thinks, thinks, thinks.Â
After a minute, Rosie gasps and shouts, âQuack!â
âSâright! Good job, Rosie,â he praises. Leaning over the edge of the tub, he presses a kiss into her damp, dark brown curls. âThatâs my girl. Youâre so smart.â
âQuack!â Giggling, Rosie lifts her chubby arms over her head, bringing them down into the water with all of her might, splashing Joel. She does it over and over again, soaking his face and the front of his denim shirt as she chants, âQuack, quack, quack!â
âAlright, alright, alright!â Joel laughs, shaking his head. He lifts an arm, wiping at his face with the sleeve of his shirt. âSâenough, my little duck. Daddy already had his shower today.â
Grinning, you saunter up behind him, and with a bit of protest from your back, you bend over to kiss the top of his head. You say in jest, âWithout me?â
âMama!â Rosie cries happily, reaching for you.
âHi baby, I missed you!â Leaning down further, you kiss her cheek, the soothing, calming scent of her lavender soap invading your senses. Drawing yourself back up to full height, you glance down at Joel with suspicion. âIs there any particular reason youâre giving her a bath so early today?â
You can tell heâs contemplating lying to you. That is, until your eyes flicker over to her muddy clothes, which lie in a heap next to the hamper.
Heâd forgotten to get rid of the evidence.
âJoel? What happened to my child?â
âWe, uh, we had a little problem earlier this afternoon,â Joel explains, his ears burning red. âShe was out in the backyard playin' with Ellie and she got into one of the mud puddles.â
âRosemary Miller!â you playfully scold her. Placing your hands on your hips, you ask,âIs that true, young lady? Did you get into a mud puddle?â
Rosie beams. âYeah!â
Rolling your eyes, you laugh and shake your head. âYou silly girl.â
âThought youâd be mad, darlinâ,â Joel admits, peering up at you in relief.
âJoel, all that I ask when I leave her alone with you and Ellie is that I come home and sheâs still in one piece,â you tease him.
Dipping his hand into the water, Joel splashes you, and of course, Rosemary decides to follow his lead and she does the same, bursting into another fit of giggles.
âGet her, Rosie, get her!â he encourages her.Â
âHey!â You jump backwards, almost tripping over your own feet. âCut it out! Youâre getting water everywhere!â
About an hour later, once both Rosie and the bathroom floor are dry, Joel puts her down for her long overdue afternoon nap. He heads back into the bedroom where youâre digging in a drawer for a pair of clean leggings and a sweatshirt. He comes up behind you, his arms snaking around your waist as he nuzzles his nose into your neck. He inhales deeply.Â
âEw, Joel, stop it! Iâm all filthy,â you say, wiggling to get away from him.Â
Joel holds you tighter. âMm, I love it when youâre filthy, baby,â he smirks. âCâmon. Sheâs out for at least an hour. Weâve got some time to ourselves.â
âIâm so sore,â you whine. âFrom riding a horse all day.â
His lips find the shell of your ear and he whispers, âToo sore to ride me, darlinâ?â
Biting back a tiny whimper, your head falls back onto his shoulder as wet heat pools between your thighs. He lightly nips at your pulse point, his teeth scraping your tender, delicate flesh.
âJesus,â you breathe when he presses into you. You feel him against the small of your backâheâs already hard. âCan you at least let me bathe first?â
Joel hums. âIâve got a better idea, baby.â Spinning you around, he reaches for the buttons of your shirt. âHowâs about we save some water and shower together?â
âThought you already had a shower today,â you remind him of what heâd said earlier.
He pushes your shirt off your shoulders and licks his lips. âIâm sure as hell up for another one.â
divider credit to @/saradika đ©”
#fic: snapshots#girldad!joel#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x female reader#joel miller drabble#joel miller one shot#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#the last of us fanfiction#the last of us fic
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Hey! I saw you were accepting Feyd requests and I got so excited! Could you do something where Feyd and reader have been married for a little while, have been pretty stand-offish and just keeping up appearances. They get into a fight over something stupid, saying hurtful things because reader still believes Feyd is incapable of feelings. Turns out heâs really protective though and gets seriously injured saving her during an attack? Reader panics trying to help him and the feels super guilty, meanwhile Feyd is enjoying the attention.
Staining
Feyd-Rautha x reader
Notes/Warnings: It's slightly different, but I hope you like it anyway. Mentions of blood and death. Smut so 18+. I'm sure there's typos. I think that's it.
Words: 4100
Feyd-Rautha Masterlist / Main Masterlist / Tag list
âYouâre heartlessââthatâs what you spit at him after watching him rip apart another family right before your eyes.Â
He slaughtered a man for a petty crime, and then you had to watch what would become of the wife and children.Â
He gave them options, of course. He presents all of them with a choice: to be servants for his House or to fight for survival in the slums of Giedi Prime. For the mother, it likely means youâll have a new handmaid. For the boys, they will be trained so they can one day face off in the arena. Either way, it's no life.
As he announced the options for their future, you couldnât look away from her: the woman whose husband lay at her feet, the blood drained from his body as she attempted to shield her two young sons behind her small frame. You watched her kind eyes go permanently wide out of shock. She needed to answer your husbandâs question, give a response to his merciful offer, but she couldnât. Nothing on her moved save for the grip she had on her boys, which only tightened the longer she stared at her dead lover.Â
You knew what would happen to them. Your husband found her silence and inability to snap out of her trace irritating. She would make a poor handmaid if she could not listen. The boys, however, could still make fine warriorsâguaranteed entertainment a few years down the line.Â
So he separated them. Allowed the guards to pry them away from their motherâs fingersâwho left her state of shock behind only when she felt them being ripped from her handsâbefore dragging them to cells with tears streaming down their round cheeks.Â
Their mother collapsed to the floor by her dead husband. His blood soaked her skirts. You didnât know how a man could do this to his own people for something as simple as the theft of some food, but he does, and often. Then he had her thrown out, back to the slums where she came from.Â
Sheâll never see her boys again. If you know your husband, he will likely one day force the two to face off with each other in the arena. After all, thatâs where his uncle finds entertainment, and your husband will do anything to please the old man.Â
Long after his guards have departed with the woman, youâre still staring at the body on the floor. The red around him is congealing. If you run your finger through it, the digit will return sticky and thickly coated. Heâll stain your skin. Heâll stain through your skin onto your insides. Heâll never come off.Â
Heâs like your husband, you think. Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen stained you, and impressively, he didnât even have to touch you to achieve that. Simply being in his presence was enough to leave his mark, and youâre in his presence plenty, just not how you imagined you would be when you married him. You imagined being in his bed. You imagined kisses and loving caresses and sweet wordsâthat kind of staining. But you were a naive girl when your parents dropped you off on this planet, and you quickly learned how to be a woman; a woman whose husband only uses her for formalityâs sake.Â
You donât know why you have to be by his side for this, though, but he always ensures that you are. The two of youâŠa solidified front to the world, as if you agree with the choices he makes and the punishment he doles out to those who donât deserve it.
So thatâs why you say it. Because youâre tired of this, tired of being silent, hating the idea that your silence might lead him to think the two of you are on the same page; that youâre a team.Â
âYouâre heartless.â
His head whips to you. âHeartlessâŠâ His voice around the word is vile; thick and rich like the blood on the floor. With a few steps in your direction he is in your space and you clasp your hands in front of you, fingers squeezing tightly to keep yourself from running off. He stares down at you, a luminous blue that you found so stunningly gorgeous when you first met him now a pair of frozen icicles stabbing into your skull. âIâm heartless?â
Your swallow is rough. Dry and scratchy.Â
âIâm not the one who steals from his neighbors. Iâm not the one who risks leaving his wife alone for the rest of her life,â he says. âThey know the laws. They know the consequences.â
âAnd the woman? She deserves to be alone, rotting away in poor living conditions because of his choice? Her children deserve to die for your entertainment?â
âYou take issue with how I handle things?â
âYes.â
Feydâs back teeth clench. His jaw sets in a sharp line. âAnother reason for you to hate me then,â he grits out.
You blink. Your lips part. Another reason? You donât have multiple reasons, and thereâs certainly nothing youâve done to indicate that you do. You used to hate that he didnât, and doesnât, care about you, but youâve never said a word about it. Youâve never bothered him about sleeping in separate rooms or asked him to give you anything of himself. Thisâhis treatment of his people in situations like this oneâisnât another reason. Itâs the reason.Â
âYou could deal with these matters differently,â you say.
His fingers form balls at his sides. His mouth opens. It closes. He shakes his head and walks past you but pauses before he is completely out of your peripherals. âThis is how things are done here,â he says. âYouâve been my wife for five months now. You need to get used to it.â
â
You donât get used to it. You donât get used to it because he doesnât demand you be by his side at his executions anymore. Not after that day.Â
Youâd never spoken up before that moment, and it cost you what little interaction you had with your husband, which you despise to say was precious. You may not love him, and at times hate him, but he is the only thing you have on this planet. Little as you spoke to one another before, you held onto it because no one else gives a damn about you. Not that he does either, but at least he would give you a word or two. His brother and the Baron donât bother, leaving you to Feyd to decide what to do with and when to do it.Â
However, you imagine they didnât expect that he would never touch you, and based on the way they watch you and Feyd when youâre forced to join the Harkonnenâs for dinner, you imagine theyâre now aware that whatever was between youâminute as it wasâis gone. He doesnât even call on you for formal events. He no longer cares about showing a unified front to the other Great Houses. But you do.
You know what reputation means to the Harkonnens, and regardless of how you feel about the history of Feydâs choices, youâre not willing to present your life on Giedi Prime as a failure. The two of you are too young for whispers to spread among influential families of a tainted marriage, a crack in the system. You donât need questions floating about in regards to a unification that will not result in an heir. The end of the Harkonnen line, theyâll say, as Rabban, much older than your husband, has yet to choose a wife. How unfortunate, theyâll slyly mutter around the rims of their champagne glasses. And youâre not ready for that.Â
So, with the exception of executions, you attend the events your husband does not invite you to anymore. You make sure your face is seen, especially when most vital. At his meetings, at his fights in the arena, and at Harkonnen parties such as this one.Â
People enjoy themselves here. Shockingly, a few strong drinks eases the tension between Houses, and Giedi Prime has the strongest drinks of them all. Itâs a tactic. A genius one, if youâre honest. The Baron invites his guests and gets them in a good mood and strikes deals one cannot go back on. Brilliant. Something you might have thought of yourself if your husband let you share your thoughts; thoughts you have plenty of. But no one cares how you would rule this planet if you had a say in its future.
You watch the Houses mingle about. You watch them laugh and dance. You watch them watch your husband. You watch them watch you. You watch the wheels turn in their alcohol-addled brains. You roll your eyes at what he doesnât see.Â
Ungluing yourself from your designated spot, you step up the staircase that leads to the Harkonnen men, your husband and his brother flanking the throne the Baron sits upon. You donât think to speak to any of them; you didnât break away from your assigned location for words. Instead, for all to see, you reach up to cup Feydâs cheek and turn his head toward you for the first kiss since the day of your wedding. A gentle brush of lips. A buzz more engulfing than any drink could offer.
He freezes, and when you pull back his lips are still parted. His eyes open slowly and he stares down at you in awed confusion. How he doesnât understand why youâve done what youâve done is just short of bewildering, but it doesnât seem to click.Â
âYouââ
âIâm going to retire for the night,â you tell him. Youâve been at this party long enough, and the guests have now seen what they needed to see. Not to mention, their tipsy state means theyâll soon forget any thoughts they have about you until morning. Theyâll stop searching for your presence.Â
You donât wait for your husbandâs nod of approval. Youâre pretty sure he doesnât care where you are at any given time anyway, so you descend the staircase and exit the grand room into the hall that leads to your bedroom.
The echo of footsteps follows and youâre bold enough to believe it could be Feyd before a blade is pressed against your throat from behind. For a moment, you think it still might be your husbandâretaliation for the kiss that re-sparked a feeling youâve been trying to ignore since you married himâbut the voice in your ear is feminine.Â
âHe killed my husband, my Lady,â the voice says, and you instantly remember her. Itâs been two months but nothing could make you forget the look in her eyes. âI want my sons.â
You swallow hard. The blade nicks your throat from the additional force. A droplet trickles down your neck. âI canât return your sons to you,â you tell her, at the same time questioning how she infiltrated such a secure place. But you suppose with the number of guests, slipping in would not have been the most difficult of challenges.Â
You wince at the deepening cut. Your heartbeat quickens, doing little to aid in stopping the blood seeping from your wound. âYouâre the na-Baronness.â
âI have little power here.â
âI donât care!â she shouts, her words bouncing off the walls. âI want my boys,â and you think now sheâs crying. Her tone alters. Something catches in her throat. âWhatâs happened to them?â
You don't wish to tell her, but youâre in no position to deny her requests. âTheyâre alive and well,â you say, which isnât a complete lie. The Baron prefers strong, well-fed fightersâthe duels last longer that way.Â
âI want them back!â
âAs much as I would like to, I cannot give them back to you. Itâs not my decision.â
âThen Iâll take you from him,â she spits. âThe way he took mine.â
You mustâve put on a grander show than you expected with that kiss because she seems to fully believe that your death would matter to him. But you know he wonât blink an eye. He might even thank her. Reward her by reuniting her with her sons, though unlikely.Â
âHe wonât care,â you tell her.Â
âI have seen him, my Lady. He will care,â she says, and you donât know how she could possibly come to that conclusion or why. Itâs not as if the people of Giedi Prime sense a kind capability from the Harkonnens. âHe willââ
She chokes. The blade trembles then drops from your neck. You quickly glance down to find Feydâs knife deep in her side.Â
Many things are a mystery to you in that moment. Why he bothered to leave the party; why he came down this hall of all halls, especially when his room resides in another; and why he pierced her side rather than go for the neck, which would have instantly ended her. His mistake. An uncharacteristic mistake.
The woman whips around, freeing you, and you stumble out of reach. Theyâre a blur of battling bodies as you get your footing, but then it catches up with youâthe pain. Your hand goes to your neck and you make a little noise at the sting of your fresh wound. Your mistake.Â
Feyd looks away from her in search of you for a single second. Not even. A half-second. But the woman is smaller, quicker, and the distraction is enough. Her blade slides into his abdomen. He grunts. You gasp.
He regains his focus and, by her hair, he rips her head back to expose her throat and shoves the blade through her neck. Blood spurts across his chest as he removes the weapon, and she collapses to her knees before the rest of her body flops to the floor.Â
Feyd takes a shaky step back, staring down at the blade in his torso. He drops his knife and his hand goes to the hilt of the other.Â
âNo, donât!â you yell, but youâre too late. He jerks the blade out and it clatters on the ground. His palm does nothing to stop the flow of crimson.Â
Rushing to him, you fall to the floor as he does. You press your hands on top of his to keep the pressure but itâs useless. âDonât you know anything?â you mutter. âYou shouldâve kept the damn thing in.â
He chuckles. The bastard actually chuckles. Then his other hand raises and lands on top of yours. You think heâs trying to add more pressure, but his touch is gentle. His thumb runs over your knuckles.Â
âItâs alright,â he says, and youâve never heard his voice so devoid of depth and strength.
âNo, itâs not,â you retort, irritated.Â
âYou still hate me?â
âShut up!â you snap. âHelp!â Yanking the black chiffon sleeve off your gown, it tears free and you ball the material to shove it against his wound. âHelp!âÂ
Guards burst through the doors and run to you. You sigh with relief, but when you look down, your husband is paler than youâve ever seen him.Â
âFeydâŠâÂ
Youâre shoved out of the way in a second, flung to the side like a flicked-away ant, and then heâs taken from you. You watch them until heâs out of view. When you glance down at your hands, theyâre stained with him.Â
â
They bandaged your neck in mere minutes and you find it aggrivating that they couldnât work as efficiently on him. Youâve been dead silent for hours now, expecting to hear screams of pain as they stitch him back together, but then you remember heâs a glutton for pain. Heâs probably enjoying it, the sick bastard. But youâre not enjoying itâthe waiting, the limbo. Itâs torturous.Â
Youâve never seen him hurt before. Youâve witnessed his skills in the arena, and not once in your seven months of marriage has someone gotten a decent slash on him.Â
Guilt hits you hard as you recall that itâs your fault. That woman was skilled as wellâyou suppose she would be if she was raised to live where she didâbut if you hadnât made that noise, if you hadnât distracted him, she wouldâve been dead before she could do her damage. This wouldnât have happened.Â
Just then, a knock comes at your door. You speak for them to enter and a guard peeks into your room. âMy LadyâŠâ he says, and you pray youâre not about to be told your husband didnât survive a single stab wound. âYou can come with me.â
You donât wait around for more. You hop to your feet and quickly follow through hall after hall until youâre at his room.Â
âWhat will I see when I walk in there?â you ask.Â
âHeâs fine, my Lady,â he says, bowing his head to dismiss himself before returning to his post.Â
Turning the knob, you edge the door open and step inside. The bed is in immediate view, but heâs not in it. Heâs not in it and he should be. Not even the covers are pulled back. Maybe the guard misled you. If he were fine, surely he would be resting.Â
You make your way in further.Â
âYouâre here.âÂ
Your head snaps to your right where heâs leaning against the lone table in his room, a lit orb on the wooden surface illuminating him from behind in a white glow. Heâs less pale than he was; what little rosiness he once had returned to his skin.Â
Clearing your throat, you say, âI was told to come.â
âBecause I told them to bring you,â he says.Â
Your heart pounds at the bareness of his torso, the thickness of his arms as they cross in front of his chest. It pounds in a different way, an off-kilter way, when you notice the dressings wrapped around his waist and the patch of blood that is seeping through three layers of it.Â
He must see your distraction because he says, âItâs fine.â Your eyes flick back to his. A beat of silence passes between you. Youâre unsure how to continue now that heâs seen the concern you have for him. âI suppose youâre disappointed.â
âDisappointed?â you repeat. âWhat for?â
âIâm alive.â
Your jaw drops ever so slightly. You recover as best you can before you say, âFeyd, I donât want you toâIâve never wanted you toââ
He holds up his hand, cutting you off. âIâm going to listen to you.â
Your brow pinches. Why did he silence you, then? âListen to me about what?â
He takes a deep breath, an action that lifts his shoulders and has them falling heavily back down. His eyes penetrate you as theyâve always done, but the iciness is gone. âI donât care if the people I hurt want to kill me,â he starts. âBut she didnât come to kill me; she came to hurt me by killing you. So I will listen to your thoughts when it comes to dealing with matters like that one.â He pauses, expecting a response, but you donât quite know what to give him, so he continues. âYour voice will make fewer enemies.â
âYou care about making enemies?â Since when would a Harkonnen ever care about such a thing? Especially when they are known for doing that thing so well.
âI care when they come after my wife,â he says. Pushing off the table, he leisurely steps toward you. Youâre stuck to your spot. âThe men of my House do not have a history of caring about their wives. Theyâve never cared if their actions bring them harm, and yet, people have used our wives as pawns for revenge for centuries. Many have died to prove a point. Iâm not going to let you be one of them.â
He stops only to not collide with your body. You have to look up to maintain eye contact, and when you do, his breath brushes over your lips. âWhy didnât you kill her when you could have? You stabbed her in the side. You avoided vital organs.â
âBecause you wouldnât have wanted me to kill her if I didnât have to,â he says. âSo I didnât kill herâŠuntil I had to.â
You suck in a sharp breath. You didnât know he was capable of such restraint. You didnât know he had enough fragments of a heart to glue together to keep him from doing exactly as he pleases.Â
His hand lands on your hip and his thumb begins to rub up and down over the curve of it. He hasnât touched youâŠever. In fact, heâs seemed over the months to deliberately avoid it. Like your skin would burn him even through the fabric of your gowns. Anytime it looked like he would try, heâd pull back before flesh grazed flesh.Â
âYou hadnât kissed me since we married,â he says, so gentle in that low voice that itâs practically a whisper. It doesnât make the heat of his breath any less intense against your skin.Â
âPeople were watching too intensely,â you inform him. âThey were thinking something was wrong between us, I could tell, and I didnât want to give them that power over you.â
âSo that was it, then?â he asks. âThatâs the only reason you did it?â
âThatâsââ you swallow, debating whether or not to say it, to give him more.Â
âWhat?â
âThatâs the reason I did it,â you decide to tell him, and his face shifts; his features alter in a manner youâve never seen. He looks down to his feet. He nods and his touch disappears, and now you feel cold and you hate it. âBut thatâs not the only reason I wanted to do it.â
He freezes as he did before. For a moment, his chest stops rising and falling with expected breaths. When his tongue darts out to wet his lips, he raises his head.Â
You canât stop staring, even though your brain is telling you to get ahold of yourself. His mouth is so plush. Youâve always known it. Itâs always done something to you. And whatever that something is, itâs more potent now that heâs so close and you can see his lips glistening in the low light.Â
âWill you do it again?â he asks.
Again? You didnât imagine he wanted you to do it the first time, or the second. The first was an obligation. The second was not exactly mutually agreed upon. But as he stands in front of you, asking, you canât bring yourself to say no. You donât want to say no. So you say yes, and you inch up on your toes until your lips meet his.Â
Immediately, heâs yanking your body flush against his. His hand goes into your hair, and he parts his lips so they can better lock with yours. Heâs good at this, and you donât want to think about why, canât think about why without a knot of jealousy settling in your gut that only dissipates when those hands travel down your body to the back of your thighs. Youâre in the air, your legs wrapped around his waist, your lips still sealed for one second more before your back hits the mattress and heâs on top of you with his leg shoving between yours, nudging your thighs open for him.Â
You donât know the exact moment it happens, but your skirts are up to your waist and heâs inside of you, moving in and out, kissing your neck and pulling gasps from your throat, and it feels right, good, like pieces falling together. A bit of you feels guilty for that. That you can know what heâs done to people and still want to feel the pleasure of every inch that heâs giving you. Youâre selfish, maybe thatâs it. Maybe youâve always been and you didnât know it. You canât bring yourself to care as he makes those deep noises in your ear and stains your insides.
After youâre sated, you lay there for a while with him in your arms and his arms wrapped around your waist. His head rests on your chest. You think about the things youâve done to each other in the course of an hour and it brings a blush to your cheeks. You think about how you canât go back and that you donât want to. Youâve wanted this from the beginning, despite what heâs done. You expected it when you married him only to be sorely disappointed at his lack, or what appeared as a lack, of interest. Youâre definitely selfish, at least when it comes to him. But you refuse to be when it comes to other matters.
âI want something from you,â you say. He hums, content. âI want us to take in that woman's boys.â
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