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skatingbi · 6 months ago
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I GOT THE JOB AND IM TRAINING RNLETS CELEBRATE WITH MORREEE
CW: Specific details of Anxiety attacks. Mostly modeled after my own symptoms, so definitely read ONLY if ur not feeling anxiety. Also a small detail about su1cide prevention in the beginning but its not explicitly stated to be that.
Also, I'm writing this in a way where Hakuri is self aware of his own issues but has zero clue what tf to do (me too bro) bc I feel like in fics we dont rly dive into the topic of self awareness of ur own mental health that much but idk 🤷🏽‍♂️
Hakuri doesn't have the bravery to ask for help. He knows Chihiro told Shiba what happened, and Shiba hasn't said a word about it. Its his eyes keeping a closer watch that give it away.
Hakuri had only just started being able to look into the mirror again a few days later. When he does he notices that Chihiro evened out the haircut a bit in the front. It's a little awkward looking, especially since his hair has grown out longer in the back since joining the group. The day after, Chihiro acts like nothing happened, Char exclaims how cool his hair is now that it's cut. Hakuri smiled at her and said thank you before they started eating breakfast that day.
Mysteriously, all the scissors and sharp objects that aren't kitchen knives have disappeared. At least, he thinks so. The scissors are gone and right now he's trying to find a safety pin for one of the straps on his pants thats worn down right at the edge of where it's sewn on. He thought they were where the entryway was, but he turned up empty handed. So he searched his shared room, then the bathroom, then the living room, but he gives up after every room comes back empty. The strap will probably stay on for a while longer anyways, he tells himself.
Right now they're hiding out in Hinao's apartment. For the past week Shiba has been teleporting in and out and providing information for Chihiro, especially now that his presence has caused a shift in the sorcerer climate. There's not much to do except wait. So, Hakuri walks over to the kitchen where Chihiro is, out of his trench coat and only wearing the black pants and turtle neck. Its nice to see him a little more relaxed, at least in appearence.
"Chihiro," Chihiro looks up from the opened fridge, "Im not gonna lie...Im bored." He states plainly, which earns him a small quirk from Chihiro's lips and a slight huff that barely reaches his ears.
"We're supposed to stay inside until Shiba gives the all clear," Chihiro glances at Hakuri before looking at the clock, "It is almost time to eat...Maybe we could make some food..." Chihiro almost seems like he's talking to himself and his gaze almost seems to grow distant for a second before his eyes are back on Hakuri.
"Oh, then let me help!" He replies, which earns a small nod from Chihiro before they start to gather everything needed to cook something simple.
Unfortunately, Hakuri only learned the extreme basics during the few months he was homeless and had to work with what he got. He knows how to work a few things from his time at the Sazanami estate as well, but when you have to sneak into the kitchen at 2 am to get food, you can only learn so much without making noise. Hakuri tells this to Chihiro, who listens patiently until he finishes speaking.
"Then I'll leave you to make the Miso and rice, alright?" and there it is again. His friend's tendency to give him an out if he needs it, no matter how small or trivial the task is. It makes Hakuri's heart stutter, but he brushes the feeling off with a smile.
"You got it!" is the last thing said between them before they prepare some lunch for the rest of the occupants. He quickly becomes distracted with his task of measurements. 5 people and considering leftovers for tomorrow, rice can be made into fried rice, miso is probably best made with exact measurements anyways since they have the easy stuff that only takes 5 minutes and some hot water to prepare. Chihiro already has the tofu and seaweed prepped for him.
The silence is strangely comforting. Hakuri usually hates silence, it usually implied disaster or someone's mind coming up with a harsh punishment, but he knows Chihiro is just a quiet man by default. They don't bump into each other once, even when Chihiro had to nearly press into his space to get something from one of the cupboards.
He focuses on that split second of warmth and latches onto it right when it pulls away completely. It leaves him pink, warm, and heart stuttering again. The back of his mind where he shoves all of his true wants screams to reach out again. To lean his shoulder against Chihiro's at the bare minimum.
Lunch is done, though, so Hakuri instead helps gather Char and Hinao before they all plate their own portion of food. Instead of sitting at the kitchen like normal, they all decide to eat in the living room since Shiba hasn't come back yet.
Even while eating, the warmth of Chihiro is still there. It cant even be replaced by the miso. As Hakuri eats with his friends, he wonders if Chihiro thought of his warmth too.
Its 3 am and he cant fall asleep. Shiba returned shortly after lunch and brought news of the effects of the Sazanami family's downfall and crumbling authority over the sorcerer world as a result. He explained how Hakuri's presence will put a target on his and everyone's back right now, especially when he was seen with Chihiro the night of the auction. Chihiro had decided that it was too dangerous to go out just yet, much to the dark haired man's own concerns about the swords still out there.
That conversation let Hakuri's own thoughts simmer until now, boiled over and burning and painful in his own mind. Right now, at 3am, he cant sit still. His thoughts are going a million miles a minute, his heart hurts, theres a headache forming from all the tension coiling up his body.
This sucks. He hates this feeling and it always comes and goes whenever it pleases. What's even worse is that he knows exactly what it is and can't figure out how to fix it: an anxiety attack. Screw his own self awareness.
So, for the past hour, Hakuri has resigned to his fate of having to ride out the excruciating anxiety burning itself into his mind. It doesn't physically hurt per se, but it definitely leaves uncomfortable symptoms and equally unpleasant physical attributes. He had to quietly leave the shared bedroom and pace around the bathroom since Shiba took the couch. Its the only source of privacy, much to his dismay since the bathroom is not big enough to pace around in.
It's barely past 3 am when a soft knock is heard at the door.
"Hakuri?" A deep, tired voice calls out. Tired enough where softness still lingers around the edges. It startles Hakuri enough to delay his own spiraling for a few moments.
"Yeah? Sorry, wait, hold on," Hakuri isn't really able to gather himself enough to speak, with his thoughts muddled so much that speaking is not on his list of priorities. It's too late/early to think about that. He opens the door a bit to Chihiro, in a black shirt and sweats with his hair a little messy, "I, uhm, cant sleep. Too much going on." He says. Chihiro nods and leans against the doorway.
"Do you need anything?" Chihiro asks, red eyes matching the gentle whisper of his voice. Hakuri tries to think the question over but pulls out blanks so he shrugs slightly. Chihiro's hand touches his shoulder and it guides him back to their shared room, right to Hakuri's futon.
Hakuri sits down and shakes his head, now that he's sitting still his hands shake so much that his fingers barely cooperate when he wants to flex his fingers. "No-No I just need to...ride this out? Nothing helps." He breathes out, shaky and nervous now that his vulnerability is laid bare and there's no running from it. At least the lights are off, he thinks. Chihiro just nods and kneels in front of him, similar to when he found Hakuri in the bathroom with scissors in his hands. He doesn't say anything and he doesn't need to. Chihiro telegraphs his movements with practiced ease. Maybe he got the skill from Char, or learned after what happened to him several years ago. Maybe it's just subconscious, a habit that formed with no important reason other than Chihiro's need to save others in little ways outside of swordsmanship.
Hakuri's distracted enough that he flinches a bit when both of the other's hands rest firmly on his shoulders, and the pressure from the contact is strangely comforting. Hakuri wants to relax under it, to soak in the warmth from calloused palms hidden by the fabric of the cotton shirt. Maybe he wants to let himself be selfish, even if the cruel voice in his mind screams at him that he doesn't deserve the comfort.
"I have an idea," Chihiro states softly, "Deep pressure therapy. It needs physical contact, so if you don't want that I understand." Chihiro says. His dark silhouette is like a shadow in the dimness of the bedroom. It's almost scary that even though he's actively trying to minimize his presence, it's still a little intimidating in its own right. It fascinates Hakuri; how Chihiro is naturally terrifying yet makes so much effort to comfort him like he's worthy of it.
Hakuri decides then that he wants that. Anxiety and crumbled mental health be damned.
"Okay," Hakuri whispers, "I trust you." because he does. It's terrifying how much he trusts the man before him. How much he's comforted by sharp vermillion and coal, a heavy contrast to melting ice and the early morning sky. He sits still, holding his breath and waiting, hands still shaking along with his body and his heart palpitating from stress and something else unrecognizable.
Chihiro wordlessly shifts forward until his hands press down a little more, and Hakuri quickly finds them laid down in his futon. Chihiro is laying half his bodyweight on top of him, arms wrapped around his waist tightly so it's enough to create a pressure that blankets his senses almost immediately. Their legs are tangled, and it's a little awkward for a few minutes especially when you're cuddling with a friend who never seemed to favor physical contact at all. If theres one thing Hakuri knows for certain, though, is that Chihiro never does something he'd be uncomfortable doing when it comes to topics outside of sword fighting.
Eventually, to make it less awkward is what Hakuri tells himself, he wraps his own arms around Chihiro's waist to keep the shorter man from sliding off of him.
It's...comfortable. It's warm, and the raven hair tickles his nose a bit. Theres softness lingering in the contact shared that contradicts nicely with the weight of Chihiro on top of him. Hakuri also realizes that despite their height difference (it's small, but noticable enough for Hinao to poke fun at Chihiro occasionally) they fit really nicely together. Like two puzzle pieces directly in the center of the board.
They don't talk but they don't need to. Hakuri's heart slows while the ambient noises of cars and sirens outside drown out the rest of his thoughts. He sighs and basks in comfort and safety that he'd never thought he'd feel again.
He doesn't have nightmares that night, and neither does Chihiro.
Sighs...my taste in manga has evolved. Time for Kagurabachi
Also I cant sleep bc i have an interview in 11 hours so take this unedited contribution to the fandom
CW: Hakuri's childhood trauma and PTSD, descriptions of PTSD triggers and Anxiety
Hakuri cut his hair.
In hindsight (10 seconds ago) it was a stupid, impulsive decision made out of sheer anguish, anger, sadness, grief, and emotional instability. In all fairness, it was only the longer part of his hair, the part he wrapped with a ribbon to keep together and out of his face. He cut it too short, though. Now, it's choppy and anyone can see from a mile away that he cut them with paper scissors he found in a drawer near the kitchen.
He doesn't really remember how he got here, only that he looked in the mirror. He saw his siblings staring back at him, disappointed, disgusted, apathetic towards him and then he felt the bruises that have since been long gone from his skin. He felt the crooked fingernails, the bones improperly healed in his hands shaking from how tense he got so quickly.
He felt fear.
Now, his hair is choppy on one side. Tears well up even more and he realizes that he's been crying. Looking in the mirror again, it's just him, the scissors, his red face and puffy eyes staring back and his god awful haircut.
He hears the front door open and close and in a stupid attempt to hide himself he slams the bathroom door shut. Shortly after locking it, he hears Chihiro's voice amongst everyone else's usual chatter.
"Hakuri?" He calls out, and he feels his footsteps grow closer. Hakuri's hands tremble, dropping the scissors. He doesnt know what to do. He knows Chihiro wont get mad, maybe Char will laugh at his hair for a bit. Unfortunately, his rational mind hasnt caught up yet. Its far behind in the race to claw out the hair from the sink and throw it in the small trash bin in the corner. Theres a knock at the bathroom door and Hakuri jumps at the sudden noise.
"Hakuri? You okay?" Chihiro asks, voice laced with concern through the door. It takes a moment for Hakuri to try and compose himself, clearing his throat enough to reply, "Yeah-Yeah I'm fine!"
Chihiro clearly doesnt buy it, "You dont sound okay," The door knob rattles softly, "Can you open the door?"
Hakuri shakes his head before he realizes he needs to speak, backing away from the door, but then deciding against it with how rough his vocal cords feel, "I...I messed up, Chihiro," He admits, another sob escaping him before he can stop it.
"I'm not hurt! Promise! I just-just messed up and it looks bad and I dont want you to judge me."
Silence stretches for only a few seconds, and Hakuri swears he hears Chihiro's breathing through the door.
"Hakuri, I swear to you I will not judge," Chihiro's voice is low and reassuring, more than Hakuri believes he's deserving of right now, "Let me in?"
He doesnt know how Chihiro can just give promises like that to him when theyre so rare. Its a moment of raw vulnerability that he's displaying, all for the sake of making sure Hakuri is okay. The ugly part of him tells him he doesnt deserve it, that he's better off staying locked in the bathroom and telling Chihiro to leave. That rational part of him knows it wont work, that its not true because the man on the other side of that door believes he deserves more.
He unlocks the door, but cant bring himself to open it, so Chihiro meets him halfway and slowly opens the door to enter the bathroom, closing it behind him before looking up.
Theres a longer stretch of silence, Chihiro's expression doesnt show any hint of what Hakuri is looking for. He's indifferent, but thats his normal look. He watches with ingrained perceptiveness as the other's eyes dart around cautiously before landing on the evidence of his unfortunate haircut and mental breakdown.
"Ah, you cut your hair." Thats all chihiro says before bending down to pick up the scissors, placing them on the sink's counter carefully. Hakuri can only stare at the floor and nod. He can feel tears threatening to form again and now he feels like crying for two reasons instead of one. His head hurts.
Theres a hand on his shoulder, thumb just barely touching his neck and Hakuri has to fight back the instinct to run. Chihiro notices, but his hand stays right where it is as a soothing presence amist the last dregs of his breakdown plaguing his brain.
"Its not that bad, you just need to even it out," Chihiro states, "I can cut it for you, if you want." The offer stands as an out for Hakuri. Chihiro does those a lot, where he'll offer to do something for him but give him the verbal reassurance that he can leave or say no whenever he wants to. He considers it for a moment, before squashing down his shame and giving a shallow nod.
"Stay here, I'll get proper scissors." Then Chihiro disappears from the room.
Hakuri sits on the toilet lid in the meantime, exhaustion slowly creeping in as he starts to remember bits and pieces of the episode. He remembers Shiba telling him about how some people have them when they're healing from trauma of some kind. Lately, he's had more than usual, mostly at night in his nightmares or when he's so anxious he cant sleep and has to pace around the tiny room to tire himself out.
He remembers Shiba telling him about what exactly he's going through, too.
"Its called PTSD. A lot of people have it, especially because of the war. Make no mistake, though, kid. Anyone can have it, and its a bitch to deal with, but eventually you learn how to live in spite of it."
That conversation was mentally taxing, he thinks. He wonders if this is a part of that, too. Could he have stopped it? Been normal? Or maybe he could have fought back, even if it ended in something miraculously worse than mental scars.
He doesn't hear Chihiro enter the room again, but he does make his presence obvious by standing in front of him, startling Hakuri from his thoughts.
"If you change your mind, even halfway through, just tell me," Chihiro whispers as he kneels down before Hakuri.
"Okay, I promise," He whispers back, voice shaky once he feels calloused hands brushing through his hair. Chihiro gives him a small smile, one of those rare ones that never see the light of day. For one quick moment Hakuri thinks about how he wants to see Chihiro smile more.
The hair cutting is simple, and Hakuri has to close his eyes unless he'd rather blink away the small bits of hair that fall onto his face. He sputters a bit when some get in his mouth and it makes Chihiro huff whats his own version of a laugh, just a small puff of air what would be seen as mild sarcasm to most people. It feels like hours of Chihiro's hands carding through his hair, his hands gently brushing the hair away from his eyes, the sound of scissors snipping through the choppy bits of Hakuri's remnants of what he remembers seeing in the mirror.
He opens his eyes when Chihiro puts down the scissors, and is met with the man's own eyes staring. He doesn't want to look away yet. When he's letting his guard down, even for a fraction of a second, there's a softness to him that's impossible to ignore. Hakuri wants to take it in, maybe even ingrain it into his mind like a polaroid for him to keep forever. He doesn't want to look in the mirror yet and Chihiro wont ask him to.
"Thank you," He murmurs, still looking at Chihiro and the deep red eyes that crinkle minutely. He notices then that maybe Chihiro has been smiling more than he thought.
"Are you feeling alright enough to leave the bathroom?" Chihiro asks, standing and offering a hand that Hakuri takes so he stands with him.
"Yeah. I think so," He yawns, "Tired though."
"Thats okay, I'll let the others know not to disturb you." Hakuri nods in acknowledgement. Chihiro guides Hakuri to leave the bathroom with him and doesnt leave his side until Hakuri is lying on his futon in their tiny shared room that they're borrowing from Hinao.
Once comfortable with the sheets up to his chin and facing Chihiro, who stands in the doorway still, he smiles. It's a small one, tired and grateful for the other's presence and help through an ugly moment.
"Hakuri?" Chihiro's voice betrays his's stoic expression.
"Yeah?" His own voice wavers, too.
"If you ever have an episode again and need help, call for me or Shiba." Chihiro says, setting his voice so there's no room for negotiation. He's serious, and that rattles Hakuri a little.
"Okay, I will," He answers back, hoping to gain the bravery to ask for help for something like this. Chihiro nods and shuts the door behind him shortly after leaving.
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hatchet-boy · 9 months ago
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Judging SPN Seasons By How Messy It Would Be If Sam And Dean Started Having Sex
Season 1: freshly reunited. no one else in their world but them. they are obsessed with each other. they would fuck like feral dogs and it would make them so much worse. also dad is there. unspeakably messy. 12/10
Season 2: dad just died. the grief sex would be more tears than come and at least one of them is probably saying johns name mid fuck. dean might have to kill baby brother (TM) and so the obvious reaction to this would be extremely possessive sex. sam would not like that attitude (with the one exception of if it happens when hes drunk in playthings). messy in even grosser but marginally less feral ways than szn one. 13/10
Season 3: milder. still obsessed with each other but more settled into it now. deans turn to maybe die and sams turn to be uber-doober possessive about it. unlike sam, dean would be extremely into that. and his deal is comin due so he might as well. sad and tragic,, but not that messy. probably still more tears than come. 6/10
Season 4: dean just came back from hell to find sam fucking his new demon girlfriend. the angels are there. they're still hunting but Stuff Is Going On and god knows they need to be grounded with each other to make it through. sex would probably help. would do the opposite than make things messier. would be vicious. definite chance dean might try to feed sam his blood. 4/10
Season 5: apocalypse fuck. oh fuck. ruby is dead. angels and death and demons and god and destiny. sam and dean are the most experienced and secure theyve ever been and yet. the whole damn world is about to explode. and yet they are still tortured and annoyed by the goofy everday hunting horrors. fucking would be nice for them, would remind them they belong to each other. they think theyre gonna die so the consequences wouldnt matter a whole lot. less insulated and worried about holy judgment so the incest thing may be a bother now. 2/10
Season 6: you fuck your brother but its not your brother he's different in ways you cant explain but you havent seen him in months and you thought you lost him and hes not quite right but fuck he looks like him and talks like him and knows everything about the two of you and he fucks like a greek god and hes mean as a motherfucker in bed but you can take it its fine its worth it its sam godammit-
15/10
Season 7: stranded up the creek without even a twig for a paddle. both brothers are destroyed and traumatised and forcing each other forward by force of necessity and a brotherly hand on the back of the neck. at least its just them alone together (dean please ignore the hallucination of lucifer sitting in the corner and judging our cock size-). sex would go terribly and be the most unsexy sex ever sexed. but they would probably like the closeness if sam could handle it. messy but wouldnt ruin them long term. there would be a terrible Dick joke. 8/10
Season 8: WHOA BOY WHAT A DOOZY. BOTH BROTHERS HAVE PARAMOURS ON THE SIDE WHOM THE OTHER FUCKIN HATES. DEAN IS PURGATORY FERAL AND HAS ONE EYE ON A VAMP. SAM IS SOFT HAS HIS PINKY FINGER TWINED AROUND SOME RANDOM GIRL. WHY DIDNT YOU LOOK FOR ME?? // YOU TOLD ME NOT TO!! // YOU TRUST A DAMN VAMPIRE OVER YOUR OWN BROTHER?? // YOU HIT A DOG... meanwhile sam is doing the trials losing his mind again and dean is losing his mind about that. letting you down was my biggest sin//there is nothing i would ever put in front of you. messy. 10/10.
Season 9: less than ideal with sam possessed by and angel. dean is rocking with the guilt and confliction. the mark of cain is also making him a bit feral again. theyre safe together in the bunker but thats already claustrophobic enough sex might just suffocate them both. pretty messy. 7/10
Season 10: your big brother is an angry angry man but its not his fault right??? its because of the mark right?? he cant control it and you love him and you want to stay in the safe house/bunker/tomb with him you dont want to leave anymore and you need him. youve both been through enough. you deserve this. there would be minimal messiness caused by sex with your brother rn. exception to those few weeks where he was a demon. 2/10
Season 11: gods sister is here and its the apocalypse again. dean hates what he has with Her. at least his sammy is here. at least theyre together. still crazy about each other. gay incest sex is the most reasonable reaction. god might find out- but then again, he and his sister are pretty wacked out together too, and are we not made in gods image?. 1/10
Season 12: Mom is here and so is lucifer and his kid and also the cunt ass brits. not ideal. minimal messiness so long as no one finds out. and fuck all them anyway its pretty clear sam and dean can only ever really trust each other. sex would be affirming and safe here. they are absolutely fucking in the kitchen to the smell of toast and coffee. dean discovers he has an std because no its not normal that your balls have iched like that for the past four years you need to go to a doctor and dean i swear on the impala if you gave it to me- . 3/10
Season 13 to 15: fellas is it gay to have sex with your brother who you've been functionally married to for over a decade? probably not right ha ha. if they havent already fucked by now theyre not going to. theyre just gonna be intensely platonically married until they die. they both have erectile dysfunction by this point . sex would mean everything to them but change nothing they would still be old and married in their bunker with the devils kid tomorrow regardless. they dont care what people think anymore. fuck all messiness. 1/10
Post Season 15 Finale/Heaven: we deserve a soft epilogue my love sammy. mildly concerned about being kicked out of heaven for incest but with everything else theyve done they still made it there. it would be the least of their sins. lovely soft and nothing hurts. can you make a sex tape in heaven? 0/10
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wearethekingdom · 5 months ago
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I sketch so much with a pen I don't know how to do it with a pencil anymore
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grimark · 18 days ago
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unnecessarily long wall of text tag essay aside, “we all need to be nicer to men so they don’t radicalise and try to kill us” is really not a take i’m in the mood for hearing right now.
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ifighttheurgetotalkmyshit · 5 months ago
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CW: Shit fanart
Minor Spoilers for: Borderlands Debt or Alive
Y'ALL this fandom is dying and I'm in desperate need of fanart for the new Anthony Burch book that just came out. So I decided to take matters into my own hands:
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This is the scene that inspired me ^^^
Never thought we'd see Fiona in a dress!!! (That pencil skirt doesn't count)
Here's what I used for reference:
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I'm open to constructive criticism!!! (I sure as hell need it)
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t-lostinworlds · 6 months ago
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jfc have i not been posting fics for that long or have fanfic readers gained quite the audacity these days?? like look, i get not liking a fanfic. i surely don't like everything i've read but to actively write downright mean comments (and not constructive) on a fic that a writer worked hard on and posted for FREE and is probably just a fun hobby for them to do bc they enjoy it and isn't aiming for it to be this word class best seller....is mind-boggling? like whatever happened to scrolling past things you don't like???
it's like drawing a fun little doodle just bc you wanted to, posting it on the internet for free and then having people criticize it bc it doesn't look like a Monet or a Van Gogh or a painting to be hung on a museum?????? what happened to "if you've got nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all" ????
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loopsisloops · 10 months ago
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what do you pick to do for a living (for the rest of your life!) when you're slightly okay at everything you do...?
(unnecessary brain dump in the tags)
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ramrage · 2 years ago
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Loki Laufeyson is a Man of Many Complexes
chapter 1 of ???
“This is a very funny joke if you had all the details,” Loki says. He’s out of breath and it’s mostly likely because he’s bouncing on some blond behemoth’s behemoth dick. The man kneads at Loki’s ass, seemingly unaware of this whole exchange. Loki just smiles wryly at you.
On a particularly naughty thrust, the blond man smacks roughly at Loki’s ass, growls out a “Who’s your daddy?”
Loki turns to you with a grin, “So was that. Pardon me for a moment,” he says before leaning down to his blond’s face for a kiss. This situation would feel much more odd if Loki seemed more perturbed, but he doesn’t. In fact, having an audience seems to egg him on. He whines out a pornographic, breathless “you are, you’re my daddy”. The blond man seems pleased by this, given the appreciative sound he grunts out.
Loki smirks at this. “For context,” he says as he grinds his hips, “this is no one.” He nods to the man. “No one of import, at least. Met him at a bar and well, I couldn’t resist the opportunity.” The man grabs Loki’s hips, stilling them. Loki shoots a puzzled glance your way but complies as the large man arranges him on all fours. With an appreciative hum, Loki remarks, “Ah, backshots.” The man reinserts himself, groaning.
“So tight,” the two say in sync. Loki rolls his eyes.
“Just for you,” Loki says, glancing back. He can’t help but melt bodily into the sensation, rolling his hips. This was good.
After settling himself, the man starts up at a punishing pace, filling the room with lewd slaps of flesh against flesh. Very good, indeed. Loki leans into his touch as hands slide across his flanks, across his chest, up his neck. Fingers roughly press at the seam of Loki’s lips, and he allows them in, sucking.
“The punchline is coming,” Loki assures you around the mans fingers, pausing to smirk at the double-entendre. “I’ll tell you when.”
“When?” Loki says, sort of outraged. A limp asparagus drops to his plate, plopping lamely next to a congealing mess of gravied mashed potatoes. A mandatory excursion of unknown but longer-than-desired duration to the middle of bumfuck nowhere was not ideal. Not remotely ideal.
Frigga, otherwise known as “Mom”, spoons a heap of mashed potatoes onto Odin-Father’s plate. “As soon as your brother’s semester ends,” she explains, nodding at the blond behemoth sat at the opposite end of the dinner table.
Loki raises his brows knowingly at you. “Ba-dum tish.”
Interpreting his silence as moody disapproval, Frigga scolds her youngest son, “Loki, your grandmother left behind a lot for us to sort out with the house. This is an all-hands-on-deck operation.”
“Are we forgetting that I am employed? With a job?” Loki asks incredulously. To be fair, he didn’t exactly care about this job, but the real offense was the general lack of consideration vis-a-vis his life. “What am I supposed to do? Just leave indefinitely?”
“Family comes first,” Odin interjects.
Loki scowls impressively. “He’s become a man of few words in his later years,” Loki says, addressing you. “Mostly chiming in to offer obnoxious, unyielding moral platitudes when they’re least wanted. He also enjoys reminding me that I’m the worst.”
Odin sighs like an old man. “Your brother will be attending classes remotely and he hasn’t complained.”
“See?”
Thor knows better than to react to that statement. Or maybe he doesn’t give a shit, too busy looking gorgeous as he inhales his eighth helping of steak.
“He’s a super senior.” Loki nods in Thor’s direction, but no one seems to notice. They continue eating silently in the oppressive awkwardness specific to tense family dinners. They’ve made it a weekly tradition, keeping the family bonds strong, or whatever “You can spend ten years at school and no one seems to give a shit if it means holding onto their star QB. America is weird.”
As if closing off any further commentary, Frigga sighs, not looking up from her plate. “We’re all going, and that’s that.”
“Well, you heard her,” Loki says sardonically, shrugging, “that’s that.”
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pierregaslays · 10 months ago
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fic readers are getting reaaaaal brave with the unwanted “constructive” criticism in people’s comments
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dont-justdont · 2 years ago
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here i am again, annoying as ever (but for a good reason this time around, i promise)
so i decided to write a cannon divergent marauders fic (set around the time of GoF) and here are my favourite parts of the chapter im writing (i havent posted it so far, idk if i will but i wanted to share those parts)
context : mary got obliviated after james and lily's death, and sirius finds her after he runs away from england following PoA, she doesnt remember him. these make it sound like they're gonna be romantically involved, but rest assure they wont, she's just confused by the situation and sirius is the first reminder of home she has
1.
“I don’t know you, and you don’t know me. Leave” was what she said. What she meant was Please, please look at me. Who are you? I want to hear about it. What she meant was Why do you know my name? Why do I feel like I should know yours? What she meant was Why do you feel like home?
2.
Who is he? she asked to the sky above her.
Sirius. Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius. The name rolled of the tip of her tongue with ease, as if spoken a million times before. Who are you? she asked the stars.
The stars did not answer.
3.
She knew those features. Of course, she didn’t know them, but they looked, familiar. Like déjà-vu. His entire presence screamed of déjà-vu, as if her soul recognized him, but her eyes couldn’t. Like he’d known her in another life, in maybe all of them, and yet they met for the first time.
He broke the silence first.
“You truly don’t remember me, do you?’ he asked softly, as if trying not to scare her away. Oh, if only he knew.
“I feel like I should.” She’d answered truthfully, stealing a glance. Her tone was sad, and she didn’t know why. Maybe that was the worse part, not knowing. Or rather, feeling like you should know, like you did know, at one point.
She saw the tear that rolled down his cheek, and the way his eyes seemed to beg her. Remember me, they asked. Know me, they demanded. She couldn’t answer their prayers.
She didn’t comment on it.
4.
They walked for a long time, that night. Until the last rays of the sun disappear beneath the horizon, until the freshness of the night buried itself deep in her bones. That’s when she spoke again, softly. A whisper, really. “Sirius.”
She had meant it as a question. Instead, it came out as a promise.
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wasitforrevenge · 9 months ago
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oh sweetheart
pairing: boxer! ellie williams x f reader au
word count: 1.9k
rating: 18+
warnings: boxer!ellie, drinking, smoking, cursing, creepy guy but ellie comes to ur defense!! ellie has lots of tattoos, fighting, threats, idk if im missing anything (no character description or anything specific)
summary: you didn't expect to meet her on this night out.
authors notes: hi friends! this is my first time writing and posting on here hopefully you enjoy, please reblog, like or follow! lets be mutuals :) anyways feedback and constructive criticism is always welcome and appreciated! ellie williams has me on my hands and knees!!! i hope you enjoy! i like the idea of making this a series if it works out and ppl like it, so pls let m know!! thank you :)
PART 1 | part 2
series masterlist <3
from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸
READ: this account stands with palestine, and so— i require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1 and 2, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this.
DO NOT BUY THE REMASTER, TLOU2, TLOU1, OR ANY GAME FROM NAUGHTY DOG! neil druckmann (the creator) is a zionist. PLEASE READ THIS. AND REBLOG THIS.
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loud. everything is loud. the smell of sweat and blood stains the air around you. the sounds of people cheering and shouting towards the center of the large room. the lights are buzzing above you as you are walking into the entrance of the shitty run down gym your brother, jesse, and his girlfriend, dina, ended up dragging you to tonight.
you didn't mind coming along with him but this wasn't what you expected to be doing tonight. after a long shitty week of unpacking your new apartment, you kinda just wanted to end up a hole in the wall bar and drink your stress away but he had other plans. which including watching grown men beat the shit of each other for their cut at the end of the night.
it was intimidating, walking through the crowds of people you didn't know until you finally make it to where his friends were waiting for you guys. they were sitting at a table with a clear shot of the fight which was surprising since the whole place seemed to have more people in it then it could fit. you make your way awkwardly to the empty seats saying a gentle "hello guys" to your brothers friends who you didn't knowl. you sat next to dina as jesse made his way to the bar with your drink orders.
after you graduated highschool, you moved to new york and spend 4 years there working in a small cafe you lived above but now at the start of the summer, still not sure what you should be doing with your life. now you're 22 and you've moved to the city of jackson to be closer to your older brother and his girlfriend. you were excited to start fresh in a place where no one knew you yet, you were ready to leave your old life and those toxic things in the past. but you wondered if it was even possible.
you spend the next hour talking with dina and catching up on the things that have happened since you moved, "have you started looking for jobs yet?" she asked as you both sipped on the second drink of the night that jesse went and brought back a bit ago. you've only met a couple times in person since they started dating about 2 years ago but you loved her, she was making this night a lot better. "not much luck yet, i don't know what to do, luckily i have some time to figure something out." you responded. she went to say something but then the loud speakers around the room started blaring music and the countdown to the match that was about to start.
jesse tapped dinas shoulder to go watch with the rest of them. dinas eyes met yours and asked, "are you coming up?" you started getting nervous as the people started getting louder and crowding towards the center ring and told her that you'll stay here and watch. they both nodded and said they'd be back when it was over.
you took this opportunity to finally go get some fresh air since the crowd isn't all over anymore and it was a straight shot to the door you came in, you walked over to the side of the building, definitely feeling the drinks you had, you let your back rest against the concrete wall, finally cooling you down on this hot summer night. there's people standing outside talking but they payed no attention to you. you stayed against the wall as you pull out the cigarette pack from the pocket of your thin dark green jacket and the lighter out of your back pocket in your jean shorts. you cursed yourself for not buying more but its a bad habit and you know it. you pulled one out and put it in your lips as you brought the lighter up and took a drag, finally letting the anxiety go as you stared off into the sky.
"excuse me miss, you shouldn't be out here alone, a beautiful girl like you," a man with a rough voice said but you didn't move to look, suddenly wishing you never left your apartment to begin with, "hello i'm talking to you, its not nice to ignore people, ya know," he slurred his words as he spoke. you turned your head as you went to tell him to leave you alone but instead, he was standing in front of you before you knew it you dropped your smoke and now he's practically cornered you.
he was so close you could smell the alcohol on his breathe as he spoke again, "now are you gonna talk to-" you leaned away from him as he was interrupted by the sound of a door opening a few feet away, he looked towards it but then turned back to you just as quick, almost touching you as he went to speak again but he was beat to it.
"get off her." you didn't even realize the door had opened until you heard her.
the man looked back towards the door to the figure in the light, he squinted and when he got a good look, he suddenly backed off and put his hands up. "hey hey i wasn't doing nothin- it was nothing!" he shouted back to whoever was next to the still open door, light shining into the alley.
the door slams and the light fades as the figure walks closer towards you and your eyes meet the deep green eyes of the person who just saved you as she turned to the man who was just cornering you against the wall.
"it doesn't look like nothing, i mean, really? you're fucking joking right?" she questioned him as she looked him right in the eyes.
"i said it was nothing- she was flirting with me and-" he was cut off as she laughed loudly. "yeah you're full of shit, get the fuck out of here and don't let me see you again or you'll regret it." she said as she stepped closer towards him, almost at the same height, he looked scared of her. "okay, okay- fuck 'm leaving!" he slurred one last time as he turned around and headed the opposite way of the run down gym.
you stood there as the interaction happened, not sure what to do or say yet, you were silent as he walked off, and those green eyes met yours again and you saw her lips moving as she was speaking but you caught nothing she said. "hey, you okay there?" she asked you as she went to stand in front of you, looking you up and down, checking if you're psychically okay while she gave you a second to process before she asked you again.
"hey sweetheart, you okay?" she asked and grabbed your arm, not in a way that the man would have but like she was actually making sure you were okay, and this time you finally heard her.
"h- yes im okay, just- fuck- yes thank you." you said finally getting a good look at her now that she's up close and touching you. her eyes were greener than you thought, her short auburn hair with some pulled back into a bun, the big moth tattoo wrapped around her right forearm that was still holding onto yours, other tattoos littered her arms and some poking out under her t-shirt she was wearing. she was so close to you and it sent butterflies through your body. now is not the time, you thought to yourself.
"are you sure- 'm sorry that happened, fuck him." she said roughly, not towards you but him.
"its okay, thank- thank you for helping me" you said gently to the girl who was still looking into your eyes. you had been so focused on hers that you didn't even see the tiny scars, small healing cuts and the bruises that were fading until you looked over her face again.
"yeah of course, are you here alone?" she asked you curiously still holding on to you, you weren't even phased by it. you told her you were here with your brother and she nodded her head towards the door, "lets get you back to him before anything else happens sweetheart" she said as she guided you to the door, hand on your back, as you swallowed and went first.
suddenly all the sounds that you had not realized you had been blocking begin again, smells of the sweaty bodies surround you again and you felt too hot, either because of her or the summer heat trapped in here. once you made it inside, she moved her hand off the small of your back and told her to go find your brother and to get home safe. when she walked away, you realized you didn't even know her name.
you saw dina, sitting along with a few of jesses friends and made your way over to her. the match must've ended while you were outside. you walked through the gym to sit back down, moving carefully to avoid touching anyone. once you made it to the table, dina wondered where you had ran off too. "oh just went out to get some fresh air," you said back to her smiling, not wanting her to worry. she told you jesse went to get more drinks and after the encounter outside, you needed it.
jesse came back a few moments later, holding a round of shots for you three. "here you ladies go," he spoke with a happy look on his face. you smiled slightly back and took the glass as dina laughed at him. you took the shot, trying to forget what happened outside with the man but not what happened with her. you wondered if you would see her again. is she here to watch? could she work at the bar? is she here with friends too? your thoughts were interrupted by an announcement over the speaks that the final match was gonna start soon.
dina and jesse were telling you, "its the last one tonight and the last ones are always the best so lets go!" you would rather sit and order another drink, but what if something else happened cause you were alone? so reluctantly you got up with them and got closer to the middle ring, you heard the loud speakers announcing the boxers as they entered the ring. you weren't even paying attention, nothing could stop your mind racing with thoughts about the girl outside.
you shake yourself out of the trance when dina reaches over to you to touch your hands that were shaking but you didn't even realize, you look to her and give her smile that she returns, then she looks back to the ring and you turn your head to follow her eyes to the center. and your breathe caught.
thats her.
thats the girl who saved you outside.
the girl with her hands wrapped in tape and the mouthguard in.
the girl who wondered if she'd ever see you again either, not that you knew that, but she hoped it wasn't the last time.
you wondered what she thought as you both stared back at each other. you heard the coach start the countdown. you just watched her.
...5
...4
...3
...2
as the buzzer started, she smiled directly at you then turned to throw the first punch.
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gloomygumi · 1 year ago
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quirks - satoru gojo x gn!reader
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summary: part two︱you like to think you’re aware of all of satoru’s quirks, but shoko thinks you may have missed a few.
contents: fluff, newly realised feelings, highschool!gojo, he's honestly not even actually there for a lot of it, shoko and geto are tho, honestly a little bit of whipped gojo, probably ooc but definitely self indulgent
word count: 1.2k
a/n: how are we coping since 236 guys ????? wrote this feeling like i’d been widowed so i guess this counts as my coping mechanism 😭 hope you enjoy anyway, constructive criticism and any ideas or opinions you have are always welcome !!
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in your past year of knowing satoru gojo, you’d made a note of his multiple quirks.
you noticed how when the group of second years went out to eat together at the weekends, he would whine about how good everyone else’s food looks until everyone at the table took pity (or annoyance, in suguru’s case) and spooned some of their meal onto his plate.
you noticed how when he was in class, listening to yaga drone on about the different types of curses, he would never let all of the legs of his chair rest on the ground. he was constantly swinging back and forth. it’s a miracle that he’s never fallen back, you think.
you even noticed how he somehow kept a momento from every single hangout and mission, each of them stored in a little wooden box he kept on his bedside table back in the dorms. in the past, you’d seen him slide seemingly worthless ticket stubs and receipts into his pockets, and when the curiosity finally got the better of you and you asked what he did with them, you only received a cheeky grin and a wink from your friend.
so, when shoko finally told you some of her own observations of his behaviours and habits during your lunch break one day, it’s safe to say it shocked you.
“i think it’s pretty obvious that he likes you.” she speaks casually, as if her words hadn’t caused you to choke on your own food. she passes you her bottle of water and pats your back. “you couldn’t tell?”
after gulping down half of her water, and spluttering a few times, you finally found your voice, letting out a strangled “he’s my friend - he does not like me like that!”
the look shoko gives you is one of ridicule, but before she can say anything else, you quickly continue.
“how’d you even come to that conclusion anyway, you’re not usually much of a gossip. that’s suguru’s job." you attempt to joke, but you feel the strained smile drop from your face as the boy you mentioned approaches the table and plops down beside your friend.
speak of the devil...
you see shoko's eyes light up, but before you can even attempt to cut her off again, she turns to suguru. "geto! back me up here, isn't it so obvious that gojo likes (y/n)?"
"mhm." he hums, barely even acknowledging the fact that his confirmation has sent you spiraling for the second time. "he's not exactly subtle about it."
"you guys are being ridiculous."
now it's suguru's turn to look at you like you've suddenly grown two heads. "you really didn't know?"
shoko lets out a laugh at his genuine confusion, and reaches into her bag to pull out a cigarette. you quickly hand her a lighter you keep on hand just for moments like this and she quietly thanks you before continuing. "have you never noticed how he's always touching you in some way?"
"that's just how he is!" you defend. "he's always hanging off of suguru too!"
the pair in front of you share a look, before geto continues. "what about how he never lets you walk closest to the road?"
you stop for a second, trying to pinpoint an occasion - just one - where he had only to come up empty handed. in fact, the more you think about it, the more sense it makes. you replay your moments walking back to the dorms after class with satoru, with his arm always casually wrapped around your shoulder. you remember how he always looked comfortable and at peace. you even remember how he would gently bump you closer into the sidewalk if you were walking with someone else, sticking his tongue out at you and ruffling your hair if you voiced a complaint at his behaviour.
your mouth dries up as you try to come up with another excuse to brush off your friends' observations, but you start to question yourself.
maybe they're right...?
you shake you head, as if trying to clear your head of these thought. "he does that for everyone, you guys are just reading too much into it."
between drags of her cigarette, shoko chuckles. "he's never done it for me." geto leans forward from his seat across from you and gently flicks in between your eyebrows. your hand immediately clamps down on the spot, and you groan at him. "what was that for!?"
he ignores your dramatics. "why are you so sure that we're lying?"
his genuine question makes you stop to think. it wasn't that you didn't like gojo, in fact, you hadn't dedicated much time to thinking about him in that way at all. your friends being so insistent on the fact that he liked you made you slowly start to realise that maybe you did share some affections for the ill mannered boy.
you continue to mull over as many interactions and memories that you have shared with satoru, slowly connecting the dots in your head. he always was more gentle with you, never polite but always kind. he regularly brought you souvenirs back from missions that you weren't assigned to and he always insisted on sitting next to you on the train home, offering you the window seat every single time.
almost as if they can hear your inner monologue being to spiral, shoko pipes up once more. "he gave you a different ring tone so he'd know every time you call."
you feel your heart stop for a second, unsure as to why this in particular made you finally believe their words, but before you even have the opportunity to dismiss them again (now in an attempt to convince yourself more than them) you feel the seat beside you sink with additional weight and a familiar arm flung around your shoulder. you barely even register the smug smile shoko is flashing you from across the table as you focus on attempting to cool your face.
"i can't believe you guys started eating without me!" satoru whines, leaning even more heavily into your side. he makes quick work of plucking a large chunk of meat out of your bento, sending you a sly grin as you look up at him in dismay. "what were you guys talkin' about?"
suguru meets your eyes, raising his eyebrows as he meets your glare, urging him to shut his mouth. "oh nothing." he hums, before completely changing the subject.
the conversation from moments prior is still fresh in your mind, and you're now very aware of the soft glances gojo keeps sending your way. you suddenly feel a lot more awkward in his presence, and you barely notice how you're fidgeting with your hands under the table and not participating in the conversation anymore.
that is until you feel warm hands grip your own, effectively halting their movement. "you okay?" you can barely hear satoru over the blood pumping in your ears, and you're unaware of the laughs shoko and geto are trying desperately to hold back whilst watching the scene as you try to speak.
you start to wish your friends had kept their observations to themselves.
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silverb0wties · 24 days ago
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Lemonade - Part 1
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Lemonade || leah williamson x alessia russo x child!reader
Summary: When something bad happens to your Mummy and Daddy, you end up living with your Aunty Lessi and Aunty Leah.  But is there room for you considering they have a new baby on the way?
Chapter Warnings: death, pregnancy, mentions of stillbirth, house fire, hospitals & doctors
a/n: In this universe Alessia has a fictional older sister
~ I originally posted this a while ago but took it down because I received a bunch of hate for it. A few very nice people have encouraged me to put it back up, so I will see how I go. Constructive criticism is always welcome, but if you don't like this, please just scroll by. 💜 ~
PART 1
--
You didn’t fully remember what had happened that night.
It had all started off very typical.  You’d had tea and a bath and watched a bit of telly before heading upstairs to your room for bed.  You were 7 now and a big girl, and certain you didn’t need tucking in anymore, so you gave your Mummy and Daddy kisses and cuddles before you went to brush your teeth and then snuggled under your bed covers to keep reading your current library book, Matilda. 
At some point you must have dozed off, because you woke up as your Daddy popped his head in through your door to check on you.
“You alright, Bunny?” he asked.  Your nickname had been Bunny for as long as you could remember.  You had been given a bunny stuffie named Arthur by your Nana on the day you were born, and he had been your trusty companion ever since.  Bunnies were also your favourite animal, however you weren’t allowed one as a pet because your Daddy was allergic.  Apparently that meant he came up in big bright red spots whenever he got near one.  Surely there was some kind of cream that though.
“Can I come sleep in your bed with you and Mummy?” You had made sure to use your biggest, pleading eyes to try and convince him.
“Ohh alright.  But you have to remember to be careful of Mummy’s leg, okay?”
Mummy had hurt her leg a couple of weeks before.  She had been playing netball when someone on the other team had crashed into her and she landed poorly.  You weren’t totally sure what was wrong, but you knew that it was apparently worse than whatever Aunty Leah had done to her leg.  But it was also not as bad because your Mummy wasn’t a professional at netball, she just played for fun, and you think maybe they also won some wine sometimes but you’re not 100% sure.  Anyways, she had to go to hospital and have an operation and now she was on crutches (which you weren’t allowed to play on) and you had to help around the house a bit more because it was tricky for Mummy to get around.  You didn’t mind though, you were happy to be her little helper.
As you reached your parents room (Arthur clutched tightly under your arm), you found your Mummy already in the bed, her leg propped up on a pillow under the blanket.  Before she had a chance to ask what you were doing there, you quickly rattled out “Daddy said I could come sleep with you, please please please!”
Your Mummy just laughed and patted the spot beside her on the bed.  A few moments later you and Arthur were snuggled under the covers between your Mummy and Daddy and drifting soundly back to sleep.
The next time you awoke it was to a screeching alarm, one you recognised from when Daddy had tried to bake Mummy a birthday cake but had burned it really, really badly.
“Bunny!  Sweetie, wake up!”
As you opened your eyes you realised you were surrounded by thick black smoke.  Your chest felt tight, and the smoke stung your eyes so badly you couldn’t keep them open.  Everything felt foggy and faint and you could feel yourself quickly falling back asleep.
“Just take her! Save her! Get her out!”
You heard your Mummy’s screams over the blaring of the alarm.  You would hear those screams in your nightmares for the rest of your life.
The next thing you remember was being outside your house and your neighbour Mrs Green was passing you to an ambulance man.  You had Arthur clutched in your hand by his ear as the man lay you down on a wheely bed and put a funny smelling mask over your nose and mouth.
Then you were at the hospital and there was lots of nurses and doctors scrambling around, poking and prodding you.  You had still had the mask on your face that was filling your mouth and nose with funny smelling air.  There was a big needle sticking into your arm connected to a bag on a pole that kind of hurt a bit.  But worst of all, at some point you had lost hold of Arthur, and you could see him lying sadly on a bench across the room.
“She’s awake.”
“Y/N.  Hi, my name is Doctor Smith.  We’re just looking over you to make sure you’re doing okay.  We’ll get you back to a room really soon and then you can see your family, okay?”
Your family was here!  Thank goodness.  Whatever had happened, your Mummy and Daddy were fine and you would see them real soon.
You breathed a small sigh of relief but still reached out instinctively for Arthur.  A nice nurse with dark hair and big, round glasses noticed and looked over at the bunny.
“Is he your special friend?”
You nodded frantically.
“He’s very dirty at the moment, so he’s going to need a bath before you get him back for cuddles, I think.”
You realised that his normally light purple fur was closer to a dark grey colour, but you couldn’t understand how he got so dirty.  Surely a bit of smoke doesn’t get a bunny that dirty. 
And then it hit you.
Smoke.
You’d only seen smoke come from a few things in real life before:
When your Daddy had burned that birthday cake
From the cigarettes the old ladies who sat outside the newsagents smoked
When there was lots of pretty fireworks and sparklers after Aunty Lessi and Leah won a big trophy
After you blew your birthday candles out
Smoke came from burning things.  Had Arthur been burned?
Before you could ask any questions, you were being wheeled into a room where your Nana and Aunty Lessi were.  You loved your Nana and your Aunty Lessi, you really did, but you wanted your Mummy and Daddy.  Where were your Mummy and Daddy?
“Oh Y/N, oh sweetie.  Oh, thank God you’re okay.”  Your Nana was crying as she reached for your hand and kissed your forehead.
You tuned out your Nana and the doctor’s conversation as out of the corner of your eye you spotted the nice nurse with the big, round glasses hand over Arthur, who had now been put in a plastic zippy bag, to your Aunty Lessi.  She whispered something to her you didn’t hear and Aunty Lessi nodded and put him carefully in a big sleepover bag she had with her.  You wondered why she had a sleepover bag with her here at the hospital.
“Does she know about…?” your Nana asked.
“No.  We thought it best that she heard it from family.”
You snapped back to the conversation going on over your head at these words, catching your Nana nodding as she wiped some more tears away from the corner of her eye.
“We’ll leave you be to have some privacy.  One of the nurses will be back in a while to check on her, but of course, don’t hesitate to press the buzzer if you need anything.”
As all the hospital staff left, your Aunty Lessi came around to the other side of the bed and gave you a hug as best as she could, trying not to bump your mask or the big needle in your arm.
“Nan-” you attempted to talk, but the smelly mask on your face was making your words sound all mumbly jumbly.  You also noticed that it hurt a bit in your chest and throat when you tried to speak, your hand automatically coming up to rest on your neck.
“It’s okay sweetheart, you don’t need to speak.  You just rest, okay?” your Nana told you.
You nodded, aware that there was something going on.  Something definitely wasn’t right.  Your eyes flicked between the two women, noticing that their eyes were red and puffy as though they’d been doing lots of crying. 
After a long, awkward silence that seemed to stretch on forever and ever, your Aunty Lessi finally started to speak. 
“Bunny, sweetie, there was a fire at your house.  We don’t know how or where it started, but there was a very bad fire, and it looks like it has destroyed the whole house.”
Your eyes widened as you began to put it all together – the smoke, the alarm, your Mummy screaming…
“Sweetheart, your Mummy and Daddy didn’t make it out.  We don’t know a whole lot yet, but we know that your Daddy ran out of the house with you and gave you to a neighbour.  You were very poorly and not breathing very well, and that’s why you’ve got to wear this mask to help you breathe.  He went back into the house, we can only assume to try and help your Mummy because she can’t… umm couldn’t move around too well because of her leg.  But they never made it out of the house.”
You didn’t really understand.  What did she mean they never made it out of the house?  Where did they go?  Where are they now?
“Bunny, do you understand what I’m saying?” your Aunty Lessi asked.
You shook your head furiously.  You just wanted to see your Mummy and Daddy.  Why weren’t they here?  Were they hurt?  Were they also lying in beds somewhere with masks on their faces and needles in their arms?
Your Nana stood up from her chair and sat down softly on the bed beside you.  She stroked her hand over your face a few times before cupping your cheek gently in her hands.
“I’m so sorry, Bun… Your Mummy and Daddy, they… oh Less, I can’t.  I can’t say it…”
Your Nana pulled away from you, burying her head in her hands as she stood up and turned away slightly.
“It’s okay, Mum.  I’ve… I’ve got it.”
Your Aunty Lessi swopped in and scooped your face gently into her hands, running her thumbs soothingly over your cheeks as you looked at her with confusion.
“Bunny sweetie, your Mummy and Daddy… d-died.”
You think your Aunty Lessi kept talking but her words just faded into background noise as you tuned out everything around you.  You were there, but not really.  Your body was, but your brain was just running over the words “Mummy and Daddy died” over and over and over and over until they lost all meaning.
Mummy died.
Daddy died.
Mummy and Daddy died.
You felt sad, but mostly you just felt kind of… nothing.  It felt almost like the sadness was a balloon that grew too big, too fast and it had popped and now all you were left with was nothing.
In the movies and in your books when people died, their family cried lots and lots.  Your Nana was crying, and it seemed like your Aunty had been crying.  But you didn’t feel like crying.  You did really, really feel like rubbing the soft fur of Arthurs ear across your cheek over and over and over though.
--
You had stayed in the hospital for a few nights before they let you go home. 
Well, not really home.
But your new home.
You were going to live with your Aunty Lessi and Aunty Leah.  Your Aunty Lessi was your Mummy’s sister and Aunty Leah was her wife.  They both played football for their jobs and travelled a lot.  Before… well, before, you would go and visit them, or they would come visit and you would tell them all about the books you’d been reading and what you’d been learning in school and show them all the different breeds of rabbits there were in the big scrap book you’d been putting together.  That scrapbook was gone now though.  You weren’t sure if you would start making a new one.
Your Aunty Lessi had the most beautiful smile, and she always seemed to be able to make everyone laugh and be happy.  And your Aunty Leah was always a really good listener, and she gave the most excellent hugs.  Sometimes you would go and watch them play football, but you weren’t really interested in sports.  It was always too loud and there was way too many people there.  But it was always exciting when your Aunty Lessi would score a goal though, because if she knew you were in the crowd, she would point in your direction and make a heart with her hands.
You liked your Aunties. You loved them.  But you’d never spent the night at their house or had a sleepover with them.  You didn’t know any of the rules, and you didn’t have your Mummy to remind you of them before you went.  You wanted to be on your bestest behaviour, having read far too many stories and seen too many television shows about children whose parents died and then their new families treated them poorly.  You didn’t think you’d do very well in an orphanage or living on the streets.  You weren’t very tough like those kids were.
You’re not quite sure what to think of your new room at your Aunty Lessi and Leah’s house.  It’s very… adult.  A bit boring to be honest.  Just a big adult bed, a dresser and two bedside tables.  There is a big window however that overlooks the back garden that you quite like.  But you’re just grateful for somewhere to sleep really, thankful that your Aunties are letting you stay here at all.  You’d happily sleep on the loungeroom floor. 
“We will pretty it up and get you lots of new toys and decorate it however you want, Bun.”  Your Aunty Lessi was stroking your hair as you cuddled into her side.  “This is just temporary until your new bed and furniture arrives and we get you all settled in, okay?”
You nodded gently, not really knowing how else to respond.  You were a bit shocked that they’d ordered you a new bed and were going to get you new toys.
“We did get you a few things to start you off with, just until we can all get down to the shops together to pick out some stuff.  I hope they’re okay…” Your Aunty Leah gestured towards the corner where you could see a few boxes and some brightly coloured stuffies peeking out through the handles of some shopping bags.  You looked up at her and blinked, unsure as to whether you were meant to thank her or go and inspect the items or what.
“We can go through that stuff later if you like?” Aunty Lessi suggested, squeezing your shoulder.  “How about we grab something to eat for lunch?”
Just as you were turning to leave the room, a tuft of light purple fluff caught your eye among the bags.
"Is that Arthur?" you asked.
"Oh, your bunny? Yes, Aunty Leah gave him a really good bath and got him all clean again."
You dashed forward and grabbed him from the pile of other toys and clothing, bringing him up to your face to rub his soft ears over your cheeks.
You wanted to say thank you, but those words didn't seem big enough. Instead, you hoped that someday, somehow you would be able to somewhat show your Aunties how much you appreciated them.
With Arthur now tucked under your arm, the three of you made your way down the hall towards the stairs.
“Oh, and remember that is mine and Aunty Lessi’s room,” Aunty Leah gestured towards a door on the right of the hall, pushing it open with her foot.  “If you ever need anything during the night, please don’t hesitate to come and get us.  I’m up and down all throughout the night going to the loo anyways because of this one,” she smirked as she rubbed her growing belly.
“Does it hurt? Growing a baby?”
You don’t really know why you asked.  You were curious, sure.  Your own tummy hurt a bit when you ate too much food, so surely having a baby in there hurt lots.  But now definitely wasn’t the time to ask that kind of question.  
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.  
However your Aunty Leah just chuckled and nodded at you.  “It doesn’t exactly hurt, but it is rather uncomfortable at times, especially if the baby moves into an awkward position or kicks a weird spot.”
“The baby kicks you?” you asked.
“Oh yeah!  They’re gonna be a striker just like your Aunty Less, I’m sure of it!”
Aunty Lessi nudged you and pointed at your hand.  “You might actually be able to feel the baby move some time, Bunny”
“Really? Could I?”
Your Aunty Leah’s smile was a big and bright as you’d ever seen it.  “They’re moving around now.  Do you want to try and feel?”
You nodded excitedly.  You had always wanted a baby brother or sister.  Your Mummy and Daddy had told you once that there was one on the way, but then a while later when they’d gone to the hospital, they came home really sad and said that baby brother was born sleeping. 
You had only just turned 4 when that happened, and you didn’t understand why they didn’t just wake him up.  But Daddy explained that that is what people sometimes say when the baby isn’t born alive.
Mummy had been sad for what seemed like years after that.  She spent a lot of time in bed, and she cried more than you’d ever seen her cry before in your life.  You’d tried to cheer her up by drawing her pictures and singing her songs and giving her your biggest, bestest cuddles.  But Daddy said the only thing that would make Mummy better was time. 
He was right.  She had slowly returned to her normal self.  You were very grateful, because you had missed the little things like the silly songs she would sing when she would wash your hair, and the smiley faces she would make out of blueberries in your pancakes.
As your Aunty Leah gently cradled your hand and brought it up to her swollen tummy, you felt a small whooshing movement under your little hand.
“Did you feel that?”
You nodded quickly, your gaze meeting your Aunty Leah’s as she smiled tenderly at you.  You couldn’t believe you could feel the baby moving in her tummy.  It all started to feel very real.
“They’re moving around quite a bit tonight.  I think they’re quite excited to have you here with us, Bun.”
“Do you know if it’s a boy or girl?” you asked.
“No, we decided to wait until the baby is born to find out and let it be a surprise.  We really don’t mind what their gender is, we’re just excited for them to be here and to meet them.  Oh, there they go again, did you feel that kick?”
You nodded again, pulling your hand away from your Aunty Leah’s tummy as a sinking feeling began settling in your own.
You knew you weren’t a part of your Aunties plan.  They were having a baby, and becoming Mums, which you were sure was something new and super exciting for them.  But now they also had you to look after as well, which they weren’t expecting and had probably changed so many things for them.  Surely, surely they would be much happier without you here ruining their perfect new little family? 
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rupeenotruby · 5 months ago
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@isasan347 made a post about Fable doing her ssbu stuff in front of Legend and I thought the idea was quite humorous and so I made a comic!
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I chose to go with her lightning kick because her three main special moves are just the great fairy spells for OOT which would then belong to Time and her down b isn't very iconic since it is a more recent addition. Lightning kick has been there since the beginning and is the first thing I think of when I think of Zelda in ssb.
I started working on this comic a few weeks ago but had to put it on hold because of my finals. But now they are over and I have finished this! There is a lot I dislike about this comic (namely the dialogue, I didn't really script this out like I should)(If you have a better final punchline you are welcome to edit the panels with it (2nd to last), I changed it so many times and am still not the biggest fan of it). But there is also a lot I like! I actually finished it for one! Yipppe! I'm still figuring out how to draw everyone and wouf! It was a challenge (shoutout to four though he's a real one). I'm probably going to study their clothes a bit more before making another comic though. I'm also still figuring out how to write all these guys so they might be ooc, sorry about that too. Also here's the rough draft if you want to see it(if you zoom in you can see the original ending (maybe)):
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Anyways, if you have read this far, I have a favor to ask: You see it has been a while since I have made a comic for human consumption, and I would like some feedback. Is the text big enough? Do you understand what is happening? Anything really bothering you about it? Anything you really like? Etc. Etc. I am open to constructive criticism.
I will take this time to complain about Zelda's horrible heeled-sandal-boots. They are evil and awful and horrible and every other negative thing you can think of. That is all.
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un-petit-sanctuaire · 1 month ago
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Night Ride
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Pairing: Sylus x f!MC
Genre: Fluff
Rating: General
Word Count: 2.8k
Summary: You were stressing out over your work, so Sylus decided to take you on a joyride on his motorcycle that night.
Author’s Note: It’s my first Love and Deepspace fic! I’d say it’s set not long after around Nightplumes. Anyway, I haven’t written in a while, so please excuse any rustiness. Also, English is not my first language, so feel free to point out any mistakes kindly. ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ Constructive criticism and feedback are very welcome! I’d really appreciate them to help me write better in the future. Last but not least, happy reading. ♡
✧˚ ༘ ⋆。 ˚✧˚ ༘ ⋆。 ˚✧˚ ༘ ⋆。 ˚✧˚ ༘ ⋆。 ˚✧˚ ༘ ⋆。 ˚✧˚ ༘ ⋆。
You were pacing back and forth in Sylus’s living room that evening, a bunch of files and documents spread around you on the floor. The owner of the house himself was sitting in a nearby armchair, his hands nonchalantly flipping today’s Linkon newspaper you brought him. On his shoulder, a familiar mechanical crow sat, glancing between the newspaper and your restless movements.
Two days ago, the Association assigned you and your team a mission. The assignment was broken down into smaller individual tasks and divided equally among your team members. Yet, somehow, you felt your part was very challenging to figure out. Your assigned location was close to the N109 Zone, though—you weren’t sure if it was a blessing or a curse. Feeling that your brain might explode for working outside alone, you decided to grace a certain white-haired man with your presence in his vicinity.
And that’s how you found yourself stressing out at Sylus’s home.
“That’s it,” his voice thundered, making you jump on the spot after what seemed to be an endless staring contest with the papers in front of you. Even Mephisto let out a sharp caw, flapping its wings as it flew off, startled by his master’s sudden break from the silence. Sylus rose from his seat, turning towards where he kept his keys before adding, “Let’s go, kitten.”
“... What?” You turned your attention from your papers towards him, eyebrows knitted.
“You should see the agitated look on your face. Your task isn’t going to resolve itself unless you have a clear mind.” With a casual flick of his finger, he sent his motorcycle keys spinning into his palm. “Let’s head outside.”
“But—”
“Do I look like I take no for an answer?”
Given how much time you’d spent together lately—no thanks to the energy linkage—you seemed to understand there was probably no room for debate with him under these circumstances. “Wait, where are we going? Can’t I just stay and do my work?” Despite your protests, you found yourself trailing after him, half-running to keep up with his long strides as he headed for the door.
“Somewhere to get some fresh air,” he replied without looking back at you. With another flick of his fingers, his jacket effortlessly landed over his shoulder. “I could use some too. Your little pacing game made my head spin.” He stopped outside in front of his bike, finally turning around to hand you your usual helmet. “And no, you’re still going whether you like it or not,” he declared. His sentence sounded like a threat, but his tone was somehow gentle.
You considered for a moment. He might have a point; you wouldn’t make any progress with your head clouded by frustration. Besides, your task wasn’t due any time soon, and after working on it all day long, you desperately needed to clear your mind. Normally you would argue, but your energy had already been drained from all the thinking. Sighing, you took the helmet from his hand and slipped it on. Your fingers fumbled, trying to fasten the buckle. Sylus let out a small scoff, stepping forward to help you click it into place.
As you settled behind him on the motorcycle, his eyes found yours in the reflection of the side mirror.
“Don’t be shy, sweetie. Hold on to me.”
You hesitated for a bit and ended up gripping his jacket, not quite fully clutching onto him. “Ease up on the speed, though,” you remarked, earning a soft chuckle from him.
“Oh? You get to tell the driver how to behave, now?” he shook his head, a subtle smirk curling at the corner of his lips. “Sure, I’ll keep it civil,” he replied, though you weren’t sure if he was being genuine or merely teasing you.
With a rev of the engine, he drove out of the side street and onto the main highway. The night sky above the N109 Zone hung in its usual dark and misty state, but the city lights gradually sprung to life around you. You inhaled the cool evening air, soaking in your surroundings. You were a biker yourself, but for once, it felt refreshing to be the passenger—especially since he always took the reins when the two of you rode his motorcycle.
You slowly became aware that you were heading towards Linkon. The highway stretched before you, nearly deserted, and the night enveloped you in a hush. The breeze rustled past, making your hair dance behind you.
The bike was gaining speed.
“Sylus,” you called, yanking his jacket lightly.
“Hm?”
The teasing tone in his hum was now evident.
“Don’t pretend that I don’t notice what you’re doing,” you retorted, the wind whipping fiercely around you.
“And what is it that I’m doing besides taking you for a ride?”
And as if on cue, the motorcycle roared, surging forward with a sudden burst of speed. The unexpected acceleration forced you to cling onto him for support to the point you were practically hugging him from the back, your fingers intertwined just below his stomach. “You’re doing this on purpose!” You half-shouted, your voice barely cutting through the rush of wind. “This was supposed to be a joyride, not a race!”
You couldn’t quite discern his response, but the side mirror reflected another smug smirk playing at the corner of his lips. You rolled your eyes. Oh, how you longed to wipe that smirk off his face. Speeding could be dangerous; what if a cat or some other creature suddenly crossed your path? You had no doubt he was far exceeding the speed limit. Luckily, the road was now completely empty. It also dawned on you that you weren’t heading into the center of Linkon, but rather veering towards the outskirts.
He slowed down as the bike left the main road and entered a slightly narrower one. “Don’t tell me Miss Hunter herself never accelerates?” he finally said, amusement lacing his tone.
“I’m a law-abiding citizen,” you rebutted, not quite answering his question. You did, in fact, once or twice speed up when you needed to arrive early for urgent missions. However, you were sure as hell it had never been as fast as Sylus was driving just now. “I mean, it was thrilling, but—”
“A-ha.”
He snickered, cutting you off. “I think someone is enjoying the ride more than they’re letting on,” his sing-songy tone made you roll your eyes again. “She’s practically holding onto me for dear life.”
Looking down, you realized your arms were still encircling his waist.
You quickly let go, straightening your posture behind him. “Because I was afraid I would be thrown off with that speed of yours, that’s why,” you said, pinching his side in an attempt to hide your own fluster at being caught off-guard. “It just seemed dangerous,” you mumbled.
“Careful, sweetie, no pinching the driver now,” he teased. As if reading your mind, he added with unexpected seriousness, “Your safety always comes first. We’ll be fine as long as I have good reflexes and solid bike-handling skills, which, lucky for you, I actually do.” Another smirk was visible from behind his visor, reflected in the mirror. “Besides, did you forget that I can use my Evol to secure you in place?”
You decided to ignore his remarks. Pretty sure the more you took the bait, the more amused he would be.
You noticed the road ascending towards the hill, and soon you found yourselves leaving the city behind and entering a somewhat wooded area.
“You’re not kidnapping me, are you?”
Your question elicited a chuckle from him. “You are powerful enough to knock me down when I’m distracted, and you could easily run off with my bike, leaving me here alone,” he said casually. “What makes you think I’d be kidnapping you? No, kitten, I’m not. Aren’t you curious to know what I have planned?”
He sounded almost giddy that your brows furrowed, half-annoyed.
“Very, actually,” you snorted, growing impatient. Was teasing you his way of taking your mind off work? “But as if you’ll actually tell me what it is.”
Sylus cackled. “Correct. You’ll have to suffer with anticipation, just like always.”
You restrained yourself from launching a punch at his shoulder. The area around you grew darker, with hardly any light in sight except for Sylus’s motorcycle and the occasional flicker from the lampposts. “Well, the breeze is getting rather cold,” you complained. You were only wearing your trusted white cropped jacket, while he was comfortably clad in leather.
There was a pause before he replied rather thoughtfully, “Stick close to me.”
You scooted forward, inching slightly closer to him. You heard him add, “We’re almost there.”
The bike eventually came to a halt a few minutes later. You dismounted, placing your helmet on the seat. Sylus followed suit, ruffling his silver hair back into place. You were probably going to involuntarily stare if the landscape before you didn’t capture your attention.
“Oh, wow...”
You took in your surroundings as you stood at the top of a hill, gazing out over the twinkling city below. The sky was a deep, rich shade of navy blue, dotted with shimmering stars. Linkon was clearly visible from up here; the illuminated skyscrapers flickered like fireflies, casting a warm glow against the darkness.
“Impressed?”
Sylus’s tall figure towered beside you. You glanced at him, expecting to find a smug expression there to show you an I-told-you-so look. However, while the corners of his lips did curl upward, his gaze remained soft, overlooking the gleaming city.
You were about to pester him, ‘Oh, even the big, scary leader of Onychinus can get sappy over things like this?’ but somehow the words stayed lodged in your throat.
“I am,” was all you could manage to utter. “I never knew we could see the entire city from up here.”
“I come here a lot whenever I need a break or want to be alone,” he nodded. “Just looking down at the city makes me feel at ease.”
Were you hallucinating, or did he seem a bit more sentimental than usual?
You felt his red irises shift from the scenery towards you.
Quickly, you turned your head away from him back to the view stretched beyond. “Oh, well,” you cleared your throat. “I didn’t know you could feel stressed too. You always seem... collected.”
Sylus laughed heartily. There was a pause before he replied, “I only do what I need to do.” He slid his hands into his pockets as if his words held no weight, leaving you to ponder for a moment.
The cold wind swept between you once again, prompting you to inch a little closer to him. It was really not that bad, but you hugged your arms for some warmth.
“... Thanks for bringing me here,” you muttered.
He noticed you creeping towards him, but he didn’t say anything about it. Instead, without averting his gaze from the city lights below, he wrapped an arm around your shoulder and gently pulled you closer to share his warmth. You were surprised you didn’t object or retreat—his presence felt oddly nice and comforting.
“You’re welcome, kitten.”
There were a few seconds of comfortable silence between you. Linkon was rather quiet that night—whether it was because you were quite far from the city center or because everyone else was already in a deep slumber. The only sounds that reached your ears were the delicate breeze rustling through the bushes and the distant hum of car engines.
“You’re right. This place is perfect for clearing your mind,” you spoke after what felt like a pregnant pause.
“It indeed is,” he replied. “You know, I’ve never brought anyone here before.”
The air felt warm, a stark contrast to the cold wind earlier. Or perhaps it was just your cheeks? “Not even Luke and Kieran? Or Mephisto?” You quickly covered it up and asked rather amusedly.
“Especially not the twins,” he chuckled. “Last time they discovered my hideout, things went chaotic. I take it you know them well enough now?”
The corners of your lips twitched upwards.
He then continued, “Mephisto would be a great companion, yes, if only he didn’t get too territorial and challenge the local birds to a boxing match. You saw how he was last time during our video call when I was in the park.”
You laughed—a genuine laugh after waves of frustration throughout the whole day. It felt warm and fuzzy, but it didn’t quite fight another blow of the cold gust. Up here definitely felt colder due to the high elevation. You fully folded your arms this time.
“Cold?” you heard Sylus ask.
“A little,” you allowed yourself to approach him closer. Half your back was now covered by his towering frame. You noticed him shifting, positioning his body to block the chilly breeze, his arm still wrapped around your shoulder.
You tilted your head upwards slightly to see his face. He wasn’t looking back at you; his eyes seemed glued to the illuminated city below. Only then did you realize how soft he looked, a striking contrast to the way he had presented himself during your first encounter. You couldn’t help but wonder what was on his mind. Was he thinking about...?
“You know, most people would be enjoying the view from up here,” his voice snapped you out of your thoughts. “But someone would rather stare at my face, apparently.”
This was the second time that night you realized you were staring at him. You turned your head, frantically searching for something else to look at from the glimmering Linkon.
“Yes, sweetie, the scenery is over there.”
You could feel he was grinning.
“Shut up.”
Perhaps it was another gust of wind that made you press your back against his chest, closing the distance between the two of you. He didn’t move, but his arm was still protecting you—practically hugging you from behind now with his hand reaching across your neck. A light chuckle escaped his lips when hearing your response, and you could feel his head leaning downwards. “No denying?”
“Not answering,” you muttered. You tried not to turn your head towards him, knowing that your faces would be only inches apart.
There was another chuckle before he called you in a low murmur.
“Kitten.”
His free hand glided from his pocket to your chin, delicately coaxing your head to face him. His touch felt so careful—so cautious as if he feared you would push him away or break or explode. You could even barely feel his finger graze your skin.
“... Hm?”
Once again, somehow, you obliged without protest. You looked at him; his face was so close you could feel the warmth of his breath. His crimson eyes locked onto you, and you forced yourself to meet his gaze this time. Only a few centimeters separated your face from his. You could feel your cheeks flush once again, your heart thumping faster than usual.
“I was right,” he uttered quietly. A smirk adorned the corner of his lips, but his eyes were tender.
Your answer was barely audible when you murmured, “About what?”
“I knew you were staring at me and not the city view,” he spoke in a soft whisper. His face was very near now that you could feel his nose lightly grazed yours, his breath warm against your skin. With such closeness, you realized how nice he smelled, how the faint radiance bathed his face, how his silvery strands fluttered and danced with the breeze.
You glanced down at his lips for a split second before darting your eyes back, locking them with his again.
“Three times now,” he breathed, catching you again. “Admit defeat, kitten...”
“... Fine.” You swore you could hear your own heartbeat thundering in your ears by now. One small move forward and—
“Fine, you’re right,” you repeated.
You didn’t realize you were holding your breath—your mind hazy from his proximity.
“Kitten?”
“... Yeah?”
His fingers still held your chin in place, his eyes never left yours, and his other arm remained wrapped around you. Perhaps it was his body acting like a shield, or perhaps the cold breeze ceased to exist, but you were almost sure you felt blanketed with warmth. You could feel your heart quicken, the anticipation hanging in the air like a fragile thread.
“May I...?”
Very subtly, your head nodded, and your eyes gave him the signal.
With that, Sylus closed the distance between you, and your lips met delicately. The world around you faded into a gentle hum, the city lights twinkling like distant stars as you closed your eyes. His lips were surprisingly warm, a tender caress you never expected from someone like him. The warmth radiating from him enveloped you, making you forget the chill of the night air as you melted into his kiss.
For the first time in two days, you gladly decided to ignore your work.
And perhaps scheduling future night rides with him wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all.
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valiantverses · 4 months ago
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Tremors
Ghoap X Reader
Summary: A therapist's waiting room wasn't exactly the place to have the most engrossing conversations. People were usually jittery, tense, or straight-up despondent. Somehow, you manage to strike a strange sort of connection with the retired military couple that had the Thursday slot just after you anyway.
Trigger Warning: Angsty. Discussions of Soap's injuries, the reader has mental health struggles and everyone has communication difficulties to some degree.
A/N: Scuttling out of the woodwork after having a pain flare, a breakdown, a career shift and getting some life altering surgery. Here's a new series while I rework all my previous writing!
Comments, questions, requests and constructive criticisms are welcome. Hate is boring and will go unacknowledged.
_
Maybe therapy wasn't for you.
Baring your soul to a total stranger and unearthing your life to be scrutinised by somebody. Then having that somebody turn around and drop you as a client because you were 'beyond their scope' and recommending you to someone else. It left an acrid sort of burn at the back of your throat as you settled into the sofa in the cheery waiting room of your hastily found counsellor.
Tick.
The leather underneath your fingers was squeaky. Static-y. The kind of leather where the grooves of the well-worn parts of the couch were buttery smooth and a slightly darker shade of black until it reached the bits that weren't quite as worn.
Tock.
The sound of papers shuffling and a low voice calling out a name drew your attention. It wasn't yours. Wordlessly, you watched a woman to your left stand up. The rubber of her cane cracked across the linoleum as she she signed her name on to the clip board at the desk, murmured her greetings to the therapist and made her way inside, the door shutting with a soft click.
Tick.
St. Jude-Thaddeus Hospital's Rehabilitation and Pain Management Clinic had the honour of being the only facility of any sort in your area that offered psycotherapy services. Affordable ones, anyway. Something to do with being integrated into the Ministry of Defense Hospital Units for disabled veterans- but you didn't need to know, so you didn't ask.
You'd take what you could get.
Tock.
You glance up at the clock once more, seeing that you were now close to 10 minutes to your first ever appointment with this therapist. A part of you wanted to fast forward the next 40 minutes of your day. Maybe the next few hours. Get to the point where your obligations were done and the first meeting was over and done with.
Tick.
When the door opens next, you don't look up this time. You try to contain the shake of your hands and focus on that squeaky leather underneath you. The thumps of footsteps don't register before the slight sink of the couch does. When you glance up, it is to the bluest eyes you could imagine.
He was handsome, a part of your brain helpfully informed you. Dark eyelashes framing a sort of azure blue, shards of indigo flecked about like sleet in the rain. His tanned skin had that slight leatheriness that could only come from working under the sun, the hand jutted out towards you littered with callouses-
"-hnny MacTavish, haven't seen you round here before."
Your hand moves mechanically to accept his handshake, mouth producing syllables you knew was supposed to be your name.
Realising the beat of conversation had stretched on longer than it should and it was now your turn to fulfill your part of the social contract that the stranger had looped you into, you broke eye contact and glanced back down at the worn linoleum.
"It's my first time."
There was a snort to the other side of you, from a bulky man sat diagonally from the line of chairs you and Johnny were sat in.
You quickly ammend your statement "-with this therapist. Just moved in."
His bulk seemed to carve away the space of the room, hulking shoulders leading to a thickly corded neck, lower face covered in a black face mask and his eyes a thin ring of deep ocean blue. What little skin you could see of his face looked sallow. Drained.
"Ignore tha' git. Insists on tagging along with me like I'm a wee wain and wreaks havoc of all sorts." The voice from your left supplied as you quickly began reassessing the relationship between the two strangers you found yourself in the middle of.
"You two know each other?"
There was a rumble to your left, a deep bass-y sound you realised was laughter. "Could say that, ma'am. "
"My partner," Johnny supplied, eyeroll evident in his voice as you turned to look at him once more. It was a little overwhelming having to keep turning your head to and fro because of the way the chairs were positioned, and your fingers dug into the leather once more.
Slippery, smooth. Pebbled with some long indentations.
"That's Simon. We've been at this shrink for give or take four months now-"
"Fifteen weeks."
"*-would'a noticed a bonnie lass like you on our weekly, enlightening visits." His quip was cheery, but there was an element of sarcasm you couldn't quite place.
This conversation felt like navigating a field full of landmines. Couldn't ask about his condition, why the weekly visits rather than the gold standard (That is, the national healthcare coverage) of every two weeks, why fifteen weeks- so you asked the only thing you felt you could.
"She any good? The counselor, I mean."
Johnny blinked, head tilting and making eye contact with his partner - Simon - there was a flash of something twisting across his face as the wordless conversation happened in a split second.
It was fascinating. The sort of communication that only happened when two people had an intimate well of knowledge of the other person.
Then dawn broke across Johnny's face and he turned back to you with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.
"Aye, lass. Not afraid to crack into your brain and really dig around. Well good laugh too, great to interact with given I've really only spoken to four people or so since I retired an' all."
You tried not to read between the lines. Tried not to stare at the way he leaned back to rub at the jagged line across his scalp, the puckered edges evident under the peach fuzz of dark hair. He was giving you what he could without dragging a stranger into his own vortex of struggles. You could relate.
"Retired? From military service?"
Regret looked different on people's faces. For some, there was a grimace. Maybe a slight widening of the eyes in realisation, or a hitch in their breath. Self-reproach for bringing it up in the first place. For Johnny, it appeared to be a slight furrowing of his brows and a darkening of his sky blue eyes as he edged backwards.
A cough and the scraping of the chair behind you drew your attention, looking to your right to meet the cold stare of the blond. Briefly, you felt like a cornered animal. Your hands grew still. His gaze was assessing, stony face giving nothing away except the overwhelming vibe of back the fuck off. His eyes flicked over your shoulder and then back to yours.
"Sounds like they're finishing up in there. You should sign in."
It appeared you had clambered out of the field of land mines only to immediately fall into a sinkhole.
Stuttering your goodbyes, you make to stand up, making the same trek the young lady had towards the desk. You fought to control the tremors of your hands. One stayed tucked deeply in a pocket as the other wrote your name down through sheer muscle memory. Sure enough, the door opened and the woman walked out with her mobility aid, a cheery voice calling out your name from inside.
As your shaky palm took hold of the doorknob to twist it so you could enter the room, you caught snippets of the conversation happening behind you.
"Bothering you-"
"-Ost, It would have been fine-"
"Your hands were shaking again-"
"Ach- I had it under control!"
"You don't owe strangers anything. Not after everything you've-"
"Please- I just- I need to have a feckin' conversation about it without breaking down-"
The door shut with a click.
As you sat down in front of your new therapist, you resolved to try and move your appointments to a different day.
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