#Anyway. Haven't even been able to think straight. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cjlouwho · 2 months ago

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Bucktommy cuddling in bed, please? Doesn't have to lead to anything, just them being soft.

Since their third date, when Buck told Tommy about his fears after getting struck by lightning and how he spent so long texting Bobby every morning to make sure everything was alright, Buck woke up to a text from Tommy.

Without fail.

Five straight months of 6am texts. Even the days he was working, when he was already awake and had been for a while, he'd still get a text to check in.

That's why Buck's heart nearly sunk directly to the floor when he checked his phone one morning at 6:32am, right after they'd gotten back from a call, to see that Tommy hadn't texted him.

He hesitated briefly, but sent Tommy a heart, followed by a everything okay?

Another thing Tommy had always been great at is answering Buck back quickly. The only time he didn't, or couldn't, was when he was working.

And he wasn't working today.

It didn't take long for Bobby to notice him glaring down at his phone.

“What's wrong, Buck?”

“Oh,” Buck put his phone back in his pocket, waving Bobby off. “It's nothing. No big deal.”

“You sure? Looks like it might be. Everything okay?”

Buck let out a sigh, then explained. “Tommy hasn't missed a morning of texting me for five months. Every single morning, six on the dot.”

“I'm guessing there was no text today?”

Buck shook his head. “No. I texted him, but I haven't heard back. Maybe... Maybe he just overslept? Or forgot, or something.”

“Okay,” Bobby replied with a nod, “well, go get changed and head on out. We've got it covered.”

“But, Cap-”

“Shift ends in thirty minutes anyway. And we both know you won't be able to let it go until you make sure he's alright. Need Eddie to tag along?”

“N- No, I.. I'm sure I'm overreacting.”

“Text me and let me know once you know. And Buck?”

“Yeah, Cap?”

“Try not to panic.”

Not willing to make any promises, Buck turned and headed for his locker.

*****

It took him nearly half an hour to get to Tommy's place, and he didn't think twice about using the key Tommy had given him a couple months back to let himself in. Especially since he still hadn't heard a word from him.

“Tommy?” He spoke cautiously as he entered the house, trying to keep calm against all the negative thoughts running through his mind.

No answer.

The house was dark. It didn't look like Tommy had been up at all. If it weren't for his car out front, Buck wouldn't think he was there.

He moved further into the house, heading down the hall toward Tommy's bedroom.

“Tommy?” His voice was shaky this time, unsteady.

The door squeaked as he pushed it open, but he immediately sighed a breath of relief when the body tangled up under the covers moved.

“Evan?” Tommy questioned, eyes squinting toward him in confusion. “Why're you here?”

“I'm checking on you.” Buck toed off his shoes and walked over to the bed, crawling up beside Tommy. “Are you okay?” he asked, reaching out and resting a hand over his forehead. “You don't feel hot.”

“M'fine,” Tommy answered, wrapping the blankets tighter around his neck. His voice still sounded rough from sleep. “What time is it? You're supposed to be at work.”

“It's a little past seven. I got worried when I didn't get a text from you this morning. Cap let me leave early.”

“Seven?” Tommy looked even more confused by that. He turned and grabbed his phone off the nightstand, shoulders slumping when he confirmed the time. “God, Evan, I'm sorry. I- I didn't know.”

“It's okay,” Buck assured him. “I'm just glad you're not severely injured or dead, like my head decided you were on the way over.”

Tommy smiled softly, holding out his arms for Buck to come lay in.

Happily, Buck pushed the comforter back on his usual side of the bed and laid beside Tommy, resting his head on his chest.

With one of Tommy's hands soothingly rubbing up and down his back, and the other massaging at his scalp, Buck almost allowed himself to be completely at ease.

Almost.

Because he still knew that something was wrong, even if he couldn't quite figure it out yet.

After pressing a kiss to Tommy's pec, Buck asked again, “Are you okay?”

Tommy took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before he answered. “My mom died thirty years ago today,” he admitted.

Buck stilled, then brought his arm to wrap tighter around Tommy's waist. “Oh, Tommy, I- I had no idea.” He leaned up slightly to be able to look at him. “You didn't tell me before, did you? Because-”

“No, no. I don't ever really talk about it, so I'm sure I've never mentioned it.”

Carefully, Buck rolled off of Tommy, lying flat on the bed. He pulled Tommy along with him, having him rest inside his arms instead. “I decided you're the one needing held today,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of Tommy's head.

Tommy laid on him with his eyes closed, listening to the sound of Buck's heart thumping in his chest. “I don't usually miss her this much,” he said. “I mean, I always miss her, but anniversaries don't usually make it worse.”

“Grief has a way of sneaking up on you when you don't expect it.”

“Yeah,” Tommy agreed. “It's kind of a pain in the ass.”

Buck huffed out a laugh. “Yes, it is.”

“I just... I think about talking to her a lot. Telling her about my life, you know?”

“Mhm.”

“And there's always been updates here and there. She would have hated me being in the army. Would've been worried sick. She would still worry about me as a firefighter, but she would have been proud. But I think,” he paused, snuggling closer to Buck, “I think this is the first time I could've told her all about my personal life, not just the work stuff.”

Buck's hand stilled from where his fingertips had lightly been brushing over Tommy's arm. “Oh yeah?” he asked.

“Yeah. All these years I've just gone over what work accomplishments I could have talked to her about. I didn't even think about that this time.”

Carefully, Buck scooted further down into the bed. He maneuvered them around until they were both on their sides facing one another. He tangled their legs together, and they each slung an arm around the other's waist.

“What would you have said?” Buck asked. “About your life?”

Tommy smiled. “You wanna hear me talk about you?”

“Oh, this life conversation includes me?” Buck replied cheekily. “I guess that's just a plus.”

Tommy stared into Buck's eyes as he thought over his words. “I would've told her that my friend Howie called me one day and asked me for an insane favor. A favor I probably should've thought twice about, but I didn't. And how he showed up with these two other guys who I'd never seen before. Then one of those guys would go on to make me happier than I ever thought possible.”

Even as he teared up, a smile grew on Buck's face. “You mean Eddie, don't you?”

That got a laugh out of Tommy. A big laugh where his eyes closed and his nose scrunched up. “I'd also tell her he always knows how to make me feel better. And he's good to me, and for the first time in my life I feel complete.”

“You do?” Buck asked, eyes going soft.

“I do. I'd tell her that this guy never stops surprising me. How he cares so deeply about everyone around him that I constantly have to remind him that he exists too. How fiercely protective he is. How safe I feel with him.”

Buck fought at blinking his tears away. He cleared his throat. “Do you think your mom would wanna meet me?”

“Oh, I know she'd wanna meet you. She'd be crazy about you.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.”

“Good. Because I'd like to tell her more about her son.”

“Evan.”

“I'm serious.” Buck brought his hand to Tommy's face, stroking his cheek. “I'd love to tell her what a great job she did raising you. How gentle you are, how loving and patient you are. How you always listen, and you seem to know how I'm feeling before I do. How I- I'd love to spend the rest of my life beside you, if you'd let me.”

Tommy swallowed hard. “Really?”

Buck nodded.

It wasn't a proposal. They didn't even live together yet. But it was a promise. A promise of a future together without an expiration date.

Tommy cradled himself into Buck's arms again. “I love you so much, Evan.”

Buck held him tight, hoping the depth of love he had for Tommy could be felt through his touch. “I love you too, Tommy.”

#911 #bucktommy #tommy kinard #evan buckley #this went cheesy as all hell but sometimes that's what we need damn it!#prompt

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chaussetteblanche · 1 year ago

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Training with Luke

pairing : luke castellan x fem!reader summary : the evolution of luke training you with a sword word count : 1.3k warnings : none

When you had agreed to Luke trying to teach you how to use a sword, this wasn't what you had been expecting at all. You'd warned him about your inability. Many before him had tried to teach you, but you had never managed to even swing the weapon properly. You had come to the conclusion that swords were your mortal enemy and that you would for sure die at the hand of one.

"Pshh, I don't believe that for one second, you just haven't found the right teacher, doll." Luke had scoffed one sunny afternoon, after you'd confided in him your inability to wield his favourite weapon. You rolled your eyes and pushed his shoulder. "Careful, I think your ego may be inflating." He chuckled, shaking his head. "No, no, but come on, I'm serious." Luke turned to you, angling his head to the side and giving you a soft smile. "Please let me try to teach you. I won't promise anything, you certainly won't be able to beat me, but maybe you can learn the basics without cutting a finger off." You pursed your lips as you thought. After weighing the pros and cons, you finally conceded with a sigh. "Fine, you and your modesty have convinced me." He rolled his eyes. You continued. "But you have to promise to go easy on me." "I promise, pretty girl."

And that is how you found yourself all geared up and very groggy on this Saturday morning. You wiped some of the sleep out of your eyes and yawned once again. The sun was just starting to rise, casting a golden glow on the arena you both stood in. Luke, who stood a few meters away from you, crossed his arms over his chest.

"Why are you so tired anyway?" "Because... I don't know if you remember, but there was a party last night and I-" "Oh, yes, I remember very well. You and Clarisse were on fire, dancing and singing, or should I say shrieking, and pouring everybody more drinks." He chuckled as he remembered the night before, which had only been a few hours ago. He'd been there, of course, he always came to parties, but he'd barely drank anything and had left pretty early. Unlike you. He had claimed he had to train in the morning, and you hadn't realised that had included you until this morning, when he'd come to wake you up. "How dare you. I'll have you know that some Apollo kids have asked me if I'm really sure that I am not one of them, considering my musical talents are extraordinary." You lied, feigning offence. "Yeah, right, that's likely." He snorted. "Anyway, enough chit-chat, get into stance."

You did as you were told, placing one foot ahead and the angling the other slightly outward. Luke circled you, eyes trained to your body. He gently tapped your shoulders, reminding you to keep them straight. You moved them immediately. "Good girl," he praised. You bit back a smile, your stomach flipping.

"Okay, now I'm going to come at you, okay? I'll go easy on you, just like you asked," he smirked. You rolled your eyes at his words, which you knew had an underlying meaning. "Just do it, Castellan." You readied yourself. He nodded once and bolted forward. Before you could register anything or react, you were on the ground with Luke's sword at your neck and a dull pain in your ass. You coughed as dust raised around you. "You know you're supposed to block, right?" he asked, lifting his sword and moving the blade out of your way. He held out his hand, chuckling. "You ass." You took his hand and let him help you up. You rubbed your bum with your free hand. "That was not going easy on me!" "You have to trust me, I really was. If I hadn't I would have done this." Before you could even reply, Luke had kicked your legs out from beneath you and lightly kneeled over your chest, making sure not to hurt you. "I hate you," you spat. "Get off me." You pushed at his legs and sat up. You knew your cheeks were red and you hated yourself for it. You pouted as you looked up at him.

"You see? It's no use. I'm no good with a sword and you can't change that." You folded your arms over your chest, very aware that you probably looked like a disgruntled child. "Darling, don't give up just yet." Luke gently pulled you up by the elbow and picked your sword up off the ground. He wiped some dirt off your cheek. "I'm sorry, that was mean. But don't give up yet! We can still try offence!" You huffed as you took your sword. "Fine. But stop calling me pet names." You didn't actually want him to stop, but if you wanted to take this seriously, he had to stop distracting you.

"If you manage to beat me, I'll stop," he bargained. "That's hardly fair," you sighed as you got into stance and raised your sword. He only shrugged. "C'mon, hit me with your best shot."

Over the weeks, you surprisingly got better at fighting with a sword. You stopped only using your customary bow and arrow and started carrying around a sword, much to the surprise of everyone who knew you. Training with Luke had not only made you better, it had also brought you two closer together. You'd been good friends since you'd arrived at camp, a few months after he did, but you had never spent as much time together as you did now. And such proximity made you question what you felt for him.

You met him one afternoon for training, feeling frustrated. Since you'd got up that morning, everything had gone awry. You'd got assigned shitty chores, had had to break up a fight between two new campers and in the midst had suffered a bird attack. Needless to say, you were looking forward to releasing some anger. But Luke was acting strange.

"Quit going easy on me," you grumbled as you helped him to his feet after knocking him to the ground for the third time. "I'm not going easy on you." He shook his head, frowning slightly. "Yes, you are. Stop it." You glared at him. "I'm not-" You lifted your sword and kicked him in the chest. He didn't even block and fell over once more. You'd never seen his camp shirt so covered in dirt.

"Stop bullshitting me, Castellan." You raised your sword and pointed the blade at his throat. "Okay, okay, fine, I'll stop," he grumbled. He rolled his eyes and pushed your blade away before lifting his hand for you to take. You slapped his hand with the flat of your blade and pointed your sword back at his neck. He frowned. "You're not getting away that easy." "Hey, doll, c'mon-" "No." He sighed and threw his head back, exposing his neck and the coloured beads hanging from it. Your eyes were drawn to his soft exposed skin but your focused again, clearing your throat. "Come on, get up. By yourself." "You asked for it."

He swung his legs across your ankles, making you yelp and fall to the ground. And before you could reach for your sword which had slipped out of your grasp, he had pinned you down by the wrists. "Am I going easy on ya now, darling?" You grimaced and squirmed but the hold he had on your wrists would not budge. And with him straddling your hips, you couldn't move your legs. You looked up at him and saw the coloured beads you knew so well swinging above your face. You swallowed. "No, you're not." "Are you happy?" "I'll be happy when you stop being such a smug ass, Castellan." His laughter was music to your ears.

#percy jackon and the olympians #luke castellan #luke castellan imagine #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan x you #luke castellan x y/n

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kairismess · 1 year ago

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ushijima wakatoshi: your shy secret admirer.

ushijima wakatoshi had this weird knack for being interested in things, concepts, and people he couldn't exactly understand; and this is where you come in—the object of ushijima's accidental affection, affection he hadn't realized he harbored for you until, after probably three years of tendou pointing out how strange his interest with you was—that was kind of on the level of him loving volleyball... it was like you casted a spell on him to not want anything or anyone else, but to do volleyball and... to see you everyday.

ushijima wakatoshi has a hard time understanding others' feelings, let alone his own. he struggles to show how he really feels about you, so he tries to be subtle and ultimately straight up asks the guys on the team about what it's like falling in love.

ushijima wakatoshi is catapulted into unfamiliar territory; what he understands of 'falling in love' is kind of like that feeling one gets when they receive a perfect spike, or pull off a kickass service ace, or feeling that burning passion that erupts in your chest when you finally realize that what may seem fruitless at first, if you dedicate enough time to it, will yield fresh, ripe fruits in no time—no matter how barren the land is.

ushijima wakatoshi is the barren land in this case; he's the clueless, hopelessly in love, yet unaware of it, loverboy that's so into you. it might be a little ridiculous to say that the super ace ushijima wakatoshi is a loverboy when he's not always that expressive—but if you only knew how much and how often you occupied his mind, you'd be convinced he was as dense as a boulder, because his feelings were so obvious... yet he never realizes it.

ushijima wakatoshi used to be able to only talk about one thing, and it was always volleyball—everything else was the about what the others wanted to talk about, but he never really felt engaged in those conversations... until they were about you. about how cool you were, how interesting of a person you were, and about how... "their eyes always look so full of wonder. it's like... you feel gravitated towards them." "...pretty sure that's just a you thing, wakatoshi." "that can't be right. well, anyway, i'm a bit concerned about the chest pain i've been feeling recently. whenever they come into mind, a sort of... strange feeling rises up my chest and lingers there, i don't know why, i haven't been lifting recently, but—" "wakatoshi, i'm your best friend so i'll just spell it out for you, you're in love, big fella."

ushijima wakatoshi feels the feeling surge up and rises to his cheeks. for the first time in ever... the shiratorizawa boys' volleyball team witnesses ushijima wakatoshi, their super ace, all flushed and embarrassed, red in the cheeks, because of how much he loved you and being confronted with the fact that he did, indeed, love you.

ushijima wakatoshi wanted to do something about these feelings, he didn't want to be burdened with eternal chest pain and a heat in his face that felt feverish, but in a good way, whenever he looked at you, heard you speak, or thought about or even dreamed about you. he wanted to make the first move... no matter how impossible that seemed for him to do.

ushijima wakatoshi no blocks could ever stop ushijima wakatoshi from spiking, nobody could ever stop this man when he was on a roll... except in terms of love, only you could stop ushijima from thinking straight and sending him in into tunnel vision, thinking about and focusing only on you.

ushijima wakatoshi blushes at the notion tendou encouraged him to go through with, clutching the bouquet he arranged on his own with flowers fresh from his family's garden, and with a lump in his throat he could never swallow down. "hey," he says in a low, rumbling voice. the thought of him being scary or intimidating never entered his head—all that he could think of was how adorably tinier and sweeter you seemed in comparison to him; making him love you all the more. he hands you the bouquet, maintaining eye contact with you as the feverish flush came back. "...you're beautiful." he mumbles, the red in his cheeks becoming more and more evident the longer he spent around you. he was whipped for you, he was smitten with you—ushijima wakatoshi wanted to let you know... "...and i love you."

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akaakeis · 4 months ago

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going on a drive with them -- multi .ᐟ.ᐟ

pairing(s) : bokuto kōtarō, kuroo tetsurō, suna rintarō, sakusa kiyoomi, and kiyoko shimizu x gn!reader (separate!!)

wc : ~200 each .ᐟ

notes//cw : happy 300 posts !! this is me brain dumping bc i haven't posted any writing lately,, food is mentioned in suna's and kuroo's,, they are the ones driving in this hc- let me know if u want a ver. w the reader driving!,, i think that's it tho!! lmk if i missed anything <3

𖥔 oh gosh... a car ride with kōtarō bokuto is never dull.

𖥔 he loves randomly taking you out for drives!!

𖥔 he's gonna keep a hand on you AT ALL TIMES!! like he'll either have it on your leg or you'll both be resting your arms on the compartment between the seats, holding hands.

𖥔 he will BEG you to take the aux cause he loves your music taste <3

𖥔 if he knows the song well enough he will sing along as you two drive!!

𖥔 not simply singing along though...

𖥔 he will lock in and shout out those lyrics, eventually getting you to sing along with him

𖥔 he probably took you out for the drive a bit before the sunset... yes he planned that!! but akaashi suggested the time LMAO

𖥔 when the sun starts to set, you guys drive into an empty area by the side of the road, and you guys get out of the car

𖥔 and he'll get you both up on the roof of the car!! he brought blankets and stuff too

𖥔 the two of you just sit on the roof of the car and watch the sunset together, all huddled up in the blankets he brought <33

𖥔 on the drive back home, you play softer music and yap about your days together :)

𖥔 it's not a drive with tetsurō kuroo unless it's a late night!!

𖥔 he would be trying to fall asleep but fail miserably, resorting to just waking you up 😭

𖥔 "wanna go drive thru somewhere?"

𖥔 you, in a half-awake state mutter an agreement, getting out of bed and into the car

𖥔 he'll hold your hand as you guys drive and you take the aux out of habit

𖥔 it's safe to say you guys end up having a full on karaoke session in the car once you wake up a bit more!!

𖥔 you guys drive through some random 24hr drive thru and pull into the (extremely empty, desolate even) parking lot to eat your food

𖥔 the two of you end up chilling in the car for the rest of the night!! you use your phone and pull up a show the two of you have been watching and you prop it up on the dash of the car LMAOO

𖥔 so the night turns into a binge watching of some tv series accompanied by a drive thru and some karaoke!!

𖥔 "oh my god we have morning classes tomorrow."

𖥔 yeah maybe it wasn't the best idea BUT AT LEAST IT WAS A LOT OF FUN!!

𖥔 you both end up speeding home and knocking out asap in an attempt to get some rest before pounding your head with information right when you wake up

𖥔 yeah... rintarō suna only takes you on late night drives too.

𖥔 he would randomly start spam texting you in the middle of the night saying "let's go to (some 24 hour drive thru)"

𖥔 and you were still awake so why not?

𖥔 he has a DEATHGRIP on having the aux... in the car, don't expect to get the aux unless he's converted you into a severe underground music glazer.

𖥔 he'll be playing the most unknown songs to mankind... but they're honestly pretty good!!

𖥔 it's a pretty chill car ride, honestly

𖥔 you'll be leaning over on his shoulder and just vibing out w the music

𖥔 he'd be telling you about the song and the artist too :))

𖥔 when you're done with that car ride you will have like... 5 new music artists that you like

𖥔 anyway you guys go through the drive thru pretty quick and you head straight home!!

𖥔 once ygs get home you go to his room and continue listening to his playlist and chat while you eat your food <3

𖥔 it ends up becoming a gossip session LMAO

𖥔 ALSO!! you guys pull an all nighter together

𖥔 kiyoomi sakusa took you out for a drive because you weren't able to sleep <3

𖥔 he thought that going for a drive would help to calm your nerves and make you sleepy

𖥔 honestly he was right because he's a really good driver... the ride wasn't bumpy at all!!

𖥔 he holds onto your hand as you guys drive and he lets you use the aux- you opt for calmer music so that he enjoys it too :)

𖥔 he also tells you about his day since he knows you like the sound of his voice

𖥔 just random yapping so that you get to listen to him talk... his voice is so soothing!!!

𖥔 did i mention when he's holding onto your hand he's running his thumb back and forth on the back of your hand

𖥔 he doesn't notice at first when you fall asleep but when he does? he shuts up and and finds himself smiling at how cute you look when you're asleep

𖥔 he drives back home and carries you into the house, putting you into bed before crawling in after you

𖥔 it was a super duper peaceful night <33

𖥔 kiyoko shimizu had a plan before taking you out for a drive!!

𖥔 she didn't tell you anything and was purposely vague about where you would both be going <3

𖥔 LITTLE DID YOU KNOW!!! THE AURORA BOREALIS WAS GOING TO BE VISIBLE THAT NIGHT!!!

𖥔 she took you out for the drive when the sun was setting, and you guys were aimlessly driving around for about an hour while listening to music on the radio <3

𖥔 you guys got to chat a lot during the drive, and for the entirety of that time, she had one of your hands pulled onto her lap as she drove!! <3

𖥔 when the lights were finally showing up in the sky you guys were in a very rural area, just so that you could see it better

𖥔 the two of you sat on the hood of the car and watch the lights until they went away <3

𖥔 and!!! you guys were cuddled up and sharing a blanket that she always keeps in the back seat of her car for you :)

𖥔 you took a bunch of pictures of the lights- mostly her, but also a couple of the lights-

𖥔 while you guys were watching the lights, you ended up talking about your plans for the future and how she was a part of them <3

𖥔 it was a very soft night for you guys!!

notes ::

okay i kept giggling while i wrote this

i love hcs because you dont have to expand on them its just what it is

happy 300 posts!! (im not even at 100 followers yet BYE IM A SPAM POSTER!! I CANT HELP IT!!)

if you enjoyed this, please consider checking out my masterlist!

and following maybe 😋

btw requests are always welcome!! id love to write stuff for you guys <3

have a lovely morning/afternoon/night!!

🏷️ :: @bokukos + @iiwaijime <3 (i just realized i messed up your user... sorry alina!! 😭)

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onceuponapuffin · 9 months ago

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Ineffable Bureaucracy and Ineffable Husbands

So, especially in the early days after the release of S2, I saw and heard a lot of people comparing these two as if they were the same. There were fan comics and fanart and fanfiction that included dialogue that was something along the lines of "why are they so healthy after only a few years and we aren't?" or "why do THEY get a happy ending and we don't?" And I mean, I haven't seen any of that in a while so maybe people have come to this conclusion on their own, but just in case, I wanted to point out

That they are fundamentally different. They are not the same.

And the reason why comes down to this conversation from 2x3:

So, hold this conversation in your brain while we go through this.

First of all, we have our Ineffable Bureaucracy, Gabriel and Beelzebub.

So these are the ones who, figuratively speaking, were born in a castle.

Gabriel was the Supreme Archangel for however many millenia, and Beelzebub was the Grand Duke of Hell for the same, roughly speaking. They are equals in positions of power.

So, when they fall in love, you have two supernatural authorities who have lived their existences believing that they can reasonably expect to have and keep whatever they want. After all, that's exactly what their lives have been (with the one exception being Beelzebub's Fall) - they want something, they get it, they keep it, and no one tells them no.

The biggest risk is to Gabriel. If Heaven were to find out, he would Fall. I can imagine Beelzebub being a bit concerned, but "Oh no," Gabriel probably figured "I Fall to Hell, and straight into your arms!" And I could see Beelzebub with a little smirk saying "I'd look after you, babe," in response.

The only time Gabriel actually worries is when he finds out that there's another punishment that he didn't realize was a possibility.

Falling to Hell is one thing, but having his memories erased is an actual threat, and possibly the first time he's ever been told no. This is when we see him panic, and leave Heaven in a mess, storing his memories away to keep them safe from the Metatron. We find out later that he was on his way to Hell anyway and just forgot halfway there and got lost.

And so, we have two beings who were always told they were Good Enough, who approached each other knowing they were able to have whatever they wanted, and were therefore able to communicate and fall in love in a healthy way. They didn't need to tip toe or hide, because they had no reason to believe anyone would ever tell them no until someone did. Their risk, because of their positions of authority, wasn't nearly as great as Aziraphale and Crowley's risk.

So now we come to our Precious Ineffable Husbands

Crowley and Aziraphale start off in much lower positions on the Celestial Food Chain. We know that they have to be very careful about their relationship to avoid the repercussions. They can't mention The Arrangement out loud, they can't put their feelings for each other into words. It has been made clear to them that they are always being watched, and anything they have can be taken away from them on a whim.

So how can they communicate safely when they've spent millenia living on eggshells and tightropes? Of course they won't, and of course it's going to be much harder for them to believe they can once they finally are safe. I definitely believe that they will get there (for my own wellbeing I have to believe that their love is stronger than anything), but they will need to fight tooth and nail in a way that Gabriel and Beelzebub didn't. All because they aren't figures of authority.

It might honestly be another good argument for Crowley taking the Grand Duke of Hell job (even though I reeeeaaaally don't want him to). It would put them in the same position as Gabriel and Beelzebub, and might give them the footing to actually escape the system (even though I think it's more likely that they're going to dismantle and/or repair the system in s3, but that's my own opinion).

These two pairs aren't mirrors of each other. Rather, they illustrate the problems with inequity that Crowley was pointing out in Edinburgh. And if S2 showed us that, I'm hoping S3 will show us possible solutions for it.

#good omens #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #good omens 2 #good omens fandom #aziraphale x crowley #aziracrow lasts forever #gabriel #archangel gabriel #beelzebub #ineffable bureaucracy #good omens meta #good omens 2 meta #good omens analysis #ineffable fandom #this show is my roman empire #good omens thoughts

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olisephaa · 2 months ago

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It wwasn't over

Miserable, horrible, I hate throwing upppp

#I spent over six hours alternating between shaking on the floor of my room and semi-fainting on the toilet between throwing up #At 2:30 am I was coherent for long enough to send my parents a message that I might need help #I don't think I threw up again after but the cramping didn't stop. I fell in and out of sleep until 7 am ish #Constantly checking my phone to see if my parents had responded (obviously that took until 6 am bc who is awake earlier)#Since then I've managed to make tea. Also torture since Iccan't stay upright for longer than 30 ish seconds at a time #So I dragged my blanket with me and had to lay down every few steps. I laid on the kitchen floor while the tea was steeping #My parents told me to eat porridge which I Would but I'm unable to Cook it due to. Again. Fainting if I stay upright for too long #Not even sitting helps I straight up have to lie down #Anyway they took pity on me. Dad's making me porridge and mum is gonna bring it over then go back to get to her meeting at 3 pm on time #Thank god bc I haven't been able to feed the cats either and while they still have a lil bit I feel bad about it #It is now 1 pm. What a hellish fucking night

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yappaccinocookie · 2 months ago

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demon snow!

yn cookie with an ability like kyouka from bsd, how would and ancients and beasts react?

I only did the beasts that have been released (seen in the story) so far. I haven't finished watching bsd, so i used most of my sources from wiki! since cellphones don't exist in crk (that I know of) the inanimate object that is used to control her ability is not described as anything else but an "object." stupid tumblr also deleted all of my work, so I redid this. i didn't proofread, it's just straight brain to paper (digital paper maybe) i also didn't know if you wanted them grouped together so I did them all separately this is why this ask took forever. you can take this as romantic or not!

LOWER CASE INTENDED!

context (from wiki) : her ability, demon Snow (夜叉白雪, Yasha Shirayuki), materializes demon snow, a ruthless sword-wielding phantom that only follows orders coming from her mobile phone, which allowed Akutagawa to control her ability in the past.

— ANCIENTS

White Lily —

"Really? That's... terrifying— wait not to degrade you I think it's neat!"

she was terrified at first, after learning about your ability she felt guilty knowing you couldn't control this winter beast in you, instead it was controlled by a phantom that wouldn't listen to you. this poor cookie over thought everything.

she immediately (although patiently) asked you for more information, to see if she could do anything to make sure this ability wouldn't harm your dough or cookies–a–like that are near you during transformation.

white lily noted everything she could discover about your ability, although she was terrified at the possible outcomes she was also intrigued with what it could do. this phantom would only listen to that object you hold around, and it made her paranoid considering somebody could steal it and use your ability for bad. she started working around ways to make it safer for you with the information you provided and the things she could find in every nook and cranny of the library.

at the end, when she's done all she could do she'll just help you maintain a healthy relationship with your ability, and even though she kind of shivers watching it destroy everything in the battle field there's always a glint of amazement in her eyes.

her reaction is a mix of confusion, curiosity and fear. know she just wants the best for you, and she's also trying her best for you! if you need help you can ask white lily, she'll find a way.

Golden Cheese —

"Wait really? That's pretty cool, what can it do?"

she found it badass, and didn't look more into it. golden cheese is a god herself with godly abilities, so abilities aren't new to her she won't be that curious, I don't see her as the type to do much/serious research other than a few random questions.

golden cheese is eager to battle the phantom though, it didn't seem like a cookie like everyone else. it would be a fun experience! only if you want to though, maybe it could get out of control and she knows that's unsafe for both you and her.

her reaction is like "OH COOL!" a few 5 year old questions and then she doesn't look into it much, unless you want to talk about your ability or you want her to talk about it.

Dark Cacao —

"That's quite a dangerous ability, are you able to control it properly?"

the answer to that is no, the phantom won't listen to you, anyway dark cacao isn't really concerned about what you can do but what it can do to you.

you cannot underestimate anybody, nor can you be too comfortable around companions, and he's had bad memories with curses and swords, so he is kind of stiff when you mention it. there's this random part of him sometimes that wonders if the phantom will act up and slice him with a sword.

dark cacao observes the object that controls the phantom, wondering its importance, considering there are multiple of rare objects the phantom could've chosen why this one?

he's pretty chill, but if you tell him that the object got lost or got stolen, all hell will break loose and he'll order his subjects to turn his kingdom upside down, backwards, reversed, whatever just to find it.

his reaction is more of a "I see..." thing, he gets flash backs of war since he's old. he'll be concerned for your wellbeing, but if you're alright he'll be okay. even if companions are not to always be trusted, he wants to make sure his companions (you) are safe too!

Hollyberry —

"Ooh, that's amazing!"

hollyberrys eyes shine like never before, full of curiosity and contagious amounts of excitement.

after seeing the phantom fight in your frail cookie body, she deems you and the phantom as a worthy opponent and, like golden cheese, asks for a battle. she won't pressure you, but she also won't admit defeat. that won't be the last time you hear her asking for a battle, and if you accept win, or lose, hollyberry is giddy after and before the battle.

she wants to see its full potential, but makes sure you're safe too. hollyberry would take you on expeditions with her to various places to see how this snow demon fights, with her fighting along side you.

hollyberry would also ask to see the object that controls it, but becareful she may be high and mighty but she's not slow and steady she might drop it! she'll be looking at it for a while, like she's seeing all the stories it's been through, through one glance.

hollyberry is definitely the one that reacts the most enthusiastic, she's always up for a new adventure and she sees this as an opportunity to learn more about her pal! (you)

Pure Vanilla —

"Fascinating, I've heard of this ability but never seen such in person."

considering pure vanilla is all–knowing he's already seen a bunch of cookies with strange abilities, he's seen yours in one of those library books from back when he was still young!

he knows alot, but not all. there are times where the phantom just straight up controls you to communicate with this guy, I don't know why, but pure vanilla seems to have that nature.

if you're having struggles, like white lily cookie, pure vanilla wants to help you to the best of his abilities. he's known for guiding cookies to the right path, and this doesn't exclude you, even if cookies mark you as dangerous.

he'll tell you all he knows, and make sure the thing that controls it is safe—also this ability is yours, not his, and if you can handle it then he will only support your decisions!

like for example, he will not stop the phantom from attacking enemies, but only shield and tell the allies to back off or becareful around it.

like everyone else, as long as you're okay it's not much of a problem. the phantom doesn't seem hostile to cookies who haven't angered it, so he focuses on the host (you) and make sure you haven't irritated it lately.

his reaction is most the most chill of the bunch, but he does get concerned once in a while when it breaks loose.

— BEASTS

Shadow Milk —

"What can you do for me?"

beasts are evil, this is no surprise to anyone. Shadow Milk wouldn't cause harm on YOU specifically but the things around you. Beasts had live long enough to know alot, so he knew already about what your ability can do.

he's not afraid of the snow demon, but knows others can be, and uses it to scare little cookies playing. "there's this scary cookie with a monster inside of them! they're gonna eat you!"

you're gonna have to stop him before fairy tales of a scary snow demon start popping up, it's his way of teasing you since he has no peace with anybody.

do NOT show him the object that controls it, once you blink he's already taken that and hid it somewhere you won't see. Shadow Milk is very sneaky.

he'd steal the object that the phantom follows orders from, and has let it break free and cause alot of accidents. ones you've felt guilty for, but he won't kill anyone, only fires and house destruction.

unlike pure vanilla, he would not have a nice relationship with that phantom. he'd probably make fun of it by stealing its sword, and/or fight it depending if it would hurt you or not he doesn't want his old pal dying on him! he'd probably be a trigger for it to come out, and if it does come out he'd plan scripts as if he was doing one of his carnival performances.

when you tell him to stop he freaks out, and either stops being all smiley and scare the living crumbs off of you or he cries out and tells you to stop being cruel and let the him have fun. either way he won't stop, but will subtly make his pranks less damaging.

the only time he'd shut up is when he's observing the phantom fight, there's a glint of admire, he likes destruction no matter what type.

his reaction was more of him realising the power you hold, and what he can do with it! (100 crimes would be committed if you don't make/set boundaries.)

Mystic Flour —

" ... "

mystic flour is closed off, and she barely speaks on your ability unless you guys are really close. it may seem like she doesn't care, but trust me she's really intrigued just not to the extent of the others.

she's neutral about the whole thing, and wouldn't use you for bad or let it break free for the joy of wanting it to destroy things. infact she finds it pretty annoying when she just wants peace and quiet.

mystic flour sees the phantom as greedy, and won't listen to any sob backstory of why it controls you. if you show her the object she'll look at it for 5 seconds and then give it back. maybe she knows too much.

fighting or communicating with it is not her forte, she prefers hiding away. she won't listen to the phantom if it begs for a fight, but if YOU specifically ask her for a battle she'll hesitate, but give in.

her reaction is empty, it seems not even that unique demon snow ability of yours can make her care enough to move away.

Burning Spice —

"At last, you're not boring like the other dough!"

you've captured this beasts attention! burning spice wants to destroy the phantom, he would definitely want to fight it. actually, not a want, he WILL fight it no matter what you say.

each fight with you/demon snow entertains him, because you/it can catch up with his speed and be as ruthless as him. he does remember you're but a frail cookie made from dough, and only ever fights it once it's out and you seem healthy/fired up to fight. this is not a boundary (although that would be nice) it's him preventing you from dying so he won't get bored.

he secretly admires it's strength, but always makes degrading remarks to it. "weak!", "I can do better", "I will destroy you!"

speaking of destroy he will destroy the object that controls it unless you never let him hold that thing. it's impulsive behavior and he has no self-control if it doesn't harm him, himself.

his reaction is terrifying, not for him, but for you!

Silent salt and Eternal Sugar aren't here...

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heartfullofleeches · 11 months ago

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Slasher Yan Idea for Suicidal Healer Deity Darling-

Disfigured and left for dead by those envious of their beauty, Yan seeks to share their fate with anyone they deem as perfect as they once were - creating masks for themselves in their victim's imafe. That... creature. They're unlike any of the muses they've had before. An aura unlike any other radiates from them. They're an angel, a god - They must have that face. As the killer aimed to strike down their prey, the deity didn't even pretend to be fazed as the knife was plunged into their back - face crinkling in disgust at their attacker's appearance.

"...You are one hideous bitch. Hold still."

What?- The deity acts too quickly for them to react - ripping the surgical mask from their face, burying their fingers into the mortals skin. Wait, stop- Let go- They can't break free, can't fight. The deity holds them too strongly for their body to receive the orders their oxygen deprived brain shouts out. Darling opens their mouth - using two fingers to keep the slasher's eyes open as saliva builds on their tongue. Stop, what are you doing?

The deity spits right at their empty eye socket - drool splattering on the scarred tissue where their left eye used to be.

What the hell??? They can't see! They can't see! They....can't see, but... they haven't been able to see out of that eye anyway since- The Slasher rubs at their eye as Darling releases them - blinking away the strings of spit clinging to their lashes and staring at the deity, bewilderment clear in both eyes. They pull their precious hand mirror from their pocket.

Their face.... They're.... beautiful again.

"There... You're healed. Hope you're able to fix that issue of you being so damn ugly eventually, but that's not really my problem."

What on earth are they talking about??? They are beautiful - isn't that what the deity meant when they called them hideous?

"Oh, no - I wasn't talking about your face. All you humans start to look pretty alike after a while. I called you ugly because what's what you are.... Anyway, I have more important things to do now like cry for twelve hours straight because I am forced to exist in the same reality as you creatures so...uh. bye."

The slasher isn't too sure what they mean, but they are sure of their new purpose. They've been given a second chance by God themselves and will do anything to remain at their side. Slaughters any pesky cultist who hunt their God because they're aware of how much Darling hates them - even though they're no worse than those worshippers

I've been calling them Dollface since I first thought of them. What do y'all think?

#yandere slasher #yandere oc #yandere imagines #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere #yandere headcanons #yandere insert #yandere blurb #yandere scenarios #yandere drabble #yandere concept #god reader

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goronoia · 6 months ago

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Married Life — Hiromi Higuruma

Hiromi gripped the steering wheel tighter, his hand trembled with suppressed anger. He shot a glare in your direction.

"I explicitly stated that I didn't want you to go, yet you defied me anyway.."

He paused, forcing himself to calm down before looking straight ahead again.

"How many times have I told you not to go to those parties without me? And yet, you still don't listen."

"I haven't seen them in months, you know that." You avoided his gaze and stared right through the window of his car.

"plus, you're hardly even home.. do you expect me to just stay there alone and wait for you like an obedient housewife..?" You confessed, letting your frustrations out.

"You're acting as though as you like your work more than your wife. You spend your days mostly at the firm and not at home, do you know how lonely i get?"

He clenched his jaw tighter at your emotional confession. The accusation hit a nerve, and he bristled with a hint of defensiveness.

"You think I'm happy about always being in the office? It's not exactly a choice I have."

His voice was gruff and strained, a mixture of irritation and guilt. He knew he'd been neglecting you, and deep down, the guilt weighed heavily on him. "And as for the party... I just worry about you, and you know why."

"I can fend for myself just fine, Hiro. If you can leave me by myself alone at our home for hours, you better know that I can handle myself. It wasn't even a drinking party.... what's the purpose of your office at home if you stay at the firm almost everyday anyway.."

His grip grew even tighter on the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white. Your argument only heightened his agitation.

"This is different. It's not about you being able to handle yourself; it's about the people you're with. I've seen how men look at you. I'm just trying to protect you."

His voice took a hint of condenscension as he responded to your second comment.

"My office at home is for times when I can work from there. I can't do that all the time."

You gripped the hem of your dress, looking down at your legs.

"you hardly even make time for me anymore." You said softly,

"I wake up in the morning and you're already leaving with a kiss, and when you do get home, you're too tired to even eat the dinner I prepare. It's like i'm only here to keep your house warm." You confessed what you feel. Referring to his estate as his house and not your home.

Higuruma's expression hardened at your words, his gaze fixated on the road ahead. "I'm doing all this work for us. To make sure you live comfortably.. to make sure you have everything you need."

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, the guilt building within him. But he wouldn't acknowledge it openly. He knew he was in the wrong, but pride and stubbornness wouldn't allow him to say it aloud.

"What do you want me to do? Quit my job?"

You quickly responded, "What if all I need is my husband? The Hiromi I know who was busy but manages to always make time for me? could i get that?" You smiled bitterly.

Your bitter smile and biting words stung, hitting him right in the chest. He could feel the weight of guilt and regret settling upon him. The man who prided himself on his control and self-restraint felt compelled to defend himself.

"I'm the same person, damn it," he retorted, his voice laced with irritation. "I still take care of you. I come home. I provide for you. Isn't that enough?"

You were about to open your mouth to respond but closed it shortly, not knowing if you should continue on with this.

As he pulls off of your drive way, You spoke before leaving the car,

"All I want is for us to spend more time together again." You muttered, removing your seatbelt and closing the car door with a light thud before proceeding to unlock the door to your house.

Higuruma sat in the car for a moment, watching you head inside. The guilt continued to gnaw at him, despite his attempts to push it aside. He let out a heavy sigh, his hand rubbing over his face as he tried to collect his thoughts.

After a few moments, he finally got out of the car and made his way inside the house, following you. He found you in the living room and leaned against the wall, crossing his arms as he spoke softly,

"I'll try to be home more often."

You looked at him,

"Thank you." You replied bluntly before heading to your room to get ready for bed.

He watched you walk to the bedroom, the guilt eating away at him. He couldn't help but notice the sadness in your smile, and it only made him feel worse. He stood there, contemplating whether to follow or give you some space.

After a few moments of internal debate, he pushed off the wall and headed to the bedroom, walking in just as you were changing out of your party clothes. He leaned against the doorframe, his gaze locked on your form.

You changed into your slip dress and went to your vanity to remove jewelries and your make up with a straight face.

After finishing, You headed over to the bathroom to do your usual routine then approaching your bed finally.

Higuruma watched you with a mixture of emotions as you went through your routine, his mind racing. He wanted to say something, to reach out to you, but the words got stuck in his throat. Instead, he simply followed you into the bedroom and changed into his pajamas in silence.

He took his place on the bed, sitting up against the headboard, his gaze fixed on you as you joined him. The air between you felt tense, filled with unspoken words and lingering frustration.

You faced your back at Higuruma, not wanting to snuggle up with him tonight as you pulled the comforter to cover up your body.

He watched you turn away from him, sadness and frustration welling up within him. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and pull you close, to erase the distance between you, but the guilt and stubbornness held him back. Instead, he clenched his jaw, watching your back rise and fall with each breath you took.

After a few moments of silence, he spoke softly, his voice betraying a hint of anguish,

"Good Night, I love you."

It was already the next day,

You woke up, wiping the sleepiness off of your eyes, you glanced at him only to find an empty bed.

'Of course' You thought to yourself, not even surprised anymore, thinking he probably left earlier in order to avoid you.

You came downstairs smelling cooked food. The maids probably already cooked breakfast.

Though you were greeted with Hiromi on the table, reading some files while sipping coffee. You were baffled to say the least.

Higuruma looked up from his files as he heard you come down the stairs, a neutral expression on his face. He had purposely taken the day off work, wanting to prove to you that he was making an effort to be around more. As he looked at you, he noticed the surprise in your eyes, and a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips,

"Morning."

He greeted you simply, setting the files aside and focusing his attention fully on you. He gestured towards the seat next to him, silently offering you to join him at the table.

You approached him gently, sitting next to his chair.

"Why are you still here? you're gonna be late." You said, stirring your cup of warm milk.

He smiled at your "concern", finding your words endearing. He glanced at the clock on the wall before turning his gaze back to you, his eyes studying your face.

"I'm not going to work today."

He stated simply, his tone matter-of-fact. He reached for his cup of coffee and took a slow sip, his eyes never leaving yours.

You just stared at your cup, smiling slightly.

"that's good."

Higuruma noticed the smile on your face and felt a sense of relief wash over him. Seeing you even the slightest bit happier made his heart flutter. He reached out his hand to gently touch your thighs, his touch soft and comforting.

"Yeah. I thought I'd spend today with you."

He said it so nonchalantly, as if it was a completely normal occurrence, but they both knew the truth. It had been so long since he took a day off work just to spend time with you.

You looked up and stared at him.

"Really?" You asked in excitement but clearing your throat shortly, feigning calmness.

He grinned at your reaction, amused by your attempt at masking your excitement. He knew you better than that, and he could see right through your facade. He reached forward and gently pinched your cheek, his touch playful but affectionate.

"Really."

He confirmed, his smile widening into a smirk. He could see the eagerness in your eyes, and it only heightened his own excitement.

"So, what would you like to do, love?"

You stood up and grinned widely, hugging him by the neck as he pulled you slightly to sit on his lap.

"We could go watch movies! or or or we could eat out tonight? or maybe go shopping.. i badly need new things and then-" You rambled nonstop, genuinely missing this feeling.

Higuruma chuckled softly, his heart swelling with affection while you started to list down all the things you wanted to do. He wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you close to his body. He listened intently to your ramblings, a hint of amusement in his eyes. He loved seeing you this excited, and he was all too eager to indulge you in everything you wanted to do.

"I also want to buy new furnitures and things for our home-" You continued,

"Woah, slow down, princess." He teased, gently ruffling your hair.

You smiled, kissing him on the cheek.

"I'm very happy."

Higuruma chuckled softly as you began to ramble again, his arms still loosely wrapped around you. He was about to jokingly tell you to slow down, but your sudden kiss on his cheek caught him off guard. A warm sensation spread through his chest, and he felt his heart skip a beat.

He smiled at your admission, his expression softer now. He caressed your cheek softly, his thumb tracing small circles on your skin.

"I'm glad. I want to make you happy."

"Could we get a puppy?" You asked reluctantly.

You can tell he was surprised by your sudden request and so you spoke again. "To keep me company when you're away." You explained, smiling at the thought again.

He raised an eyebrow at your request, not quite expecting the topic to turn to getting a puppy. He was still taken aback, but he tried to keep a neutral expression, not wanting to disappoint you.

When you added your reasoning, his heart sank a bit. He winced at the sadness in your voice, the subtle pang of guilt returning. He knew he had neglected you, and you were now resorting to getting a puppy for companionship.

He gave your waist a gentle squeeze, a conflicted expression on his face.

"A puppy, huh...?"

You nodded slowly, still smiling and hoping for him to agree.

A few seconds past and you were still waiting for his response. You frowned and slightly pouted at his quietness.

Higuruma noticed your pout and sighed, knowing you were waiting for his response. He was contemplating your request, unsure of how to feel about it. He wasn't entirely against the idea, but he still had reservations.

He ran a hand through his hair, thinking for a few more moments before finally speaking up.

"A puppy... it's a lot of responsibility, you know. Are you sure you're prepared for that?"

"If it means i'll feel less lonely" You smiled.

He could see the hopefulness in your smile, and his resistance faltered. He knew how lonely you'd been feeling while he was away, and the thought of you being alone in the house tugged at his heartstrings.

He sighed heavily, his expression softened,

"Alright... a puppy it is, then."

You shrieked excitedly hugging him and peppering his face with kisses and muttering thank you's and i love you's.

Higuruma chuckled and allowed you to cover his face with kisses and loving words. He wrapped his arms tightly around you, holding you close to him. He could feel the excitement emanating off of you and it brought a smile to his face.

He ran his hand through your hair, his touch gentle and affectionate. He leaned his head closer to yours, his breath warm as he whispered

"Anything for you, my love."

"I want two.. no three ! actually i want 6 puppies!" You rambled on again, enjoying his deadpan expression as you increase the amount of puppies you want.

He chuckled again, shaking his head at your relentless enthusiasm. As you continued to ramble, the number of puppies you wanted kept increasing, and he couldn't help but be amused and slightly overwhelmed.

He raised an eyebrow, his expression a mixture of amusement and resignation.

"Six puppies? Are you trying to start an army of pups?"

You shook your head laughing slightly,

"In all seriousness though, I want two puppies, hiroo" You whined and begged.

He chuckled softly at your pleading tone, unable to resist the pout on your face. He knew he was unable to say no to you when you gave him that look, but he pretended for a bit longer to keep things playful.

"Two is a lot, aren't you being a bit greedy?" Higuruma teased, his hand gently tracing shapes on your back.

You kissed him slowly and gently on the lips to persuade him, smiling against his lips.

Higuruma was surprised by your unexpected kiss, but he didn't protest. He allowed you to savor the moment, enjoying the warmth and tenderness of your lips on his. But as you pulled away and challenged him with that playful smile, he couldn't help but smirk. He chuckled lowly and pulled you closer, his arms wrapping tightly around your waist. He gently nipped at your lower lip, his voice dropping to a lower tone.

Maybe he should do this more often.

"Two it is, love. You got your way."

#jjk #jjk x reader #higuruma x reader #hiromi x reader #higuruma hiromi #hiromi jjk #i love him so much #my husband's a lawyer #jujutsu higuruma #jujutsu kaisen

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ellieslittleburrow · 9 months ago

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Requested by : @mymelodymia : you can't fall asleep. And clingy you needs to be around someone. Joel is -forced- to help. And Ellie is there to make sure you regret it.

Warnings : none, just internal swearing

Pairings : Joel Miller x daughter!reader /Ellie x platonic-sister!reader

----

It's been a few months since you've been traveling with Ellie and Joel. Your friendship with both of them has been developping smoothly. As well as their own with each other.

While on a nightly stop out in central wyoming, Ellie had taken watch so that you and Joel could get some sleep....Joel could get some sleep. His snores, as uneven as they were, pierced the space. And you couldn't sleep. Not because of the constant tiring irritating snoring, but just because you simply couldn't.

Giving up and getting out of the uncomfortably thin matress, you shuffle your feet, roaming around the cave and then out to find Ellie.

But she was walking away.

"Where are you going?" Your voice booms, causing Ellie to duck and turn around.

"Go to sleep, what are you doing up at this hour?"

Honestly....you do not know. You shrugged.

"Go back to bed, man."

"I can take over..."

"No. You already took watch yesterday. Go to sleep."

Ughhhh. There's no way you'll be able to fall asleep. You unfortunately knew yourself too much. Nothing could stop that irritating feeling of wanting to be close to someon-

Hmmm.....

You head towards Joel, and stop a few inches away from him, squatting down to get closer to his face. You didn't want to scare him(no. You'd love to scare him but his fast reflexes would have you end up with a broken neck)

"Joel.." you whispered. But no sign of life from the man. So you tapped his shoulder, starting gently and going harder and harder, violating his shoulder until he huffed.

"What?"

You fidged, shrugging. "Nothinng." It sounds more like a question and Joel goes silent.

"Then why are you waking me up?"

You go quiet yourself...darting your eyes away from him even though the moon was straight behind you, meaning that all was lit BUT your face.

"Mmmm....well...."

"Spill." The man seems to be impatient.

"Can i...i can't sleep. Can i sleep with you-"

"No."

Uh-but you haven't even finished your sentence.

"Hear me out, joel-i"

"No. No. No. Go back to the other room and force yourself to sleep. It's much safer there anyways."

You slouch your shoulders. "But i don't caaare...i want to sleep here." You sternly argue, having made the decision that tonight, you choose.

"No." Joel says again as he shifts his head for a better sleeping position. "Now let me sleep."

"Okay then." You respond, sitting down on the ground. "Then i wont stop talking until you change your mind." You cross your arms over your chest, your brain fishing for things to blabber about for as long as it will take.

If you can't sleep, might as well benefit from your free time.

And then you start blabbering, about random things like the sky....the cold...El-

"Okay."

Well, that was quick. You think.

Joel shifts his body to the side, reaching for the space behind before he pats it and you hop over him and lay beside him, your back facing his.

You grin, quickly accomodating yourself to a comfortable position.

"Sleep." Joel commands but....you can't. The warmth radiating out of his body is too damn comfy. You might not be...in his arms. But you haven't been this close to him ever. And it feels....good. You don't think you'll fall asleep anytime soon...although..your eyes are suddenly feeling heavy...Damn...how long as it been since you've felt such physical and mental warmt-......

----

"Wakey wakey little missy."

Snatched out of a beautifully blurry dream, your eyes violently open to a blinding light, causing you to shut them even more violently.

Hell....what in the f-

"Look who's finally up."

You might be deeply disoriented from the sleep you've just been kidnapped from, but that annoying little voice will never be one you can't easily recognize. Not only is it the voice but it's also the sacrcastic tone of-

"Ellie, what the hell do you wan-"

You squint to find yourself staring at a horizontal Ellie. You proceed to move but a pair of hands turn out to be wrapped around your chest. You try to free yourself but the arms around tighten their grip, causing a quick panic to set-

You spin your head around, meeting a pair of half closed eyes-you're envelloped in Joel's arms-

When did that happen?

"Joel." You gently nudge the man's stomach, earning yourself a groan. "Joel let go of me." Your voice is as low as it can get. It's not a whisper, it's just a worried tone. Worried about the crippling smirk painted on Ellie's dumb fucking face.

You know her well enough to know what she's thinking about and you just-you can-

"Joooell...."Your roar comes out as a whine.

A deep inhale tickles your ear and Joel seems to be annoyed but he only wraps his arm around you tighter.

"Let gooooooo....."

Your eyes search for something to fixate on as your face flushes red. You're embarrassed and you want to hide, but Ellie's....persistent. and Joel doesn't seem to want to l-

"Nope." He doesnt seem to want to let go.

"Joel, shes gonna be making fun of m-"

"No. You're stuck here." He groans, stretching his body without letting go of you. "She'll make fun of you wether you're in my arms or not, better take the ooportunity and enjoy this new pillow i got for free." Your da-Joel's voice is soft and reassuring.

And deep down, you'd rather he stays like that forever....You know what? Fuck Ellie.

You turn around, facing his chest. You're still too shy to look up, but this- his earthy(stinky) shirt and the soft puffing of his chest as he inhales-this..is enough for now.

"Mmmmm." You whine, keeping that annoyed salty tone to not have them know....but..they know. And it's not really that much of a problem. You just....like being in your dad's arms and you want to enjoy the moment.

-----

Hiiii babe! I really really hope you like this. It was really fun to write. But wtf is that ending omg. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it and thank you for your sweet comments 🪷🪷🪷

#daughter!reader #father figure fic #adoptive father troop #daughter x father #sibling fic #sister!reader #sister x brothers #joel miller x daughter #joel miller x daughter!reader #joel miller x platonic reader #joel tlou #father figure

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theabigailthorn · 1 year ago

Note

Have you considered moving to america? you know there are a lot of blond americans in america, and most of them would be absolutely enchanted by a tall lady with a fancy-pants british accent

I've thought about it, for career reasons rather than romance!

It's a difficult question. If I were to move to the US, right now L.A. would be the place to go: I have contacts there and I'm developing projects there. It's likely I'd be able to have a better standard of living out there too. There's also the political angle: if the Conservatives win the next British election there's a nonzero chance I'll have to leave the country because if they pass a national bathroom law and I can't use a women's toilet, I can't go to work on a set or in a theatre! I know the US is worse in a lot of places, but at least over there some politicians are standing up for trans people, some politicians are trans, some cities are refusing to comply with discriminatory laws... There seems to be a better line of defence over there, in some places? The sorts of places I would be going to live anyway. It feels like in the US the extremes are more extreme: some states are worse than Britain, but some are actually better. I think the US entertainment industry is in some ways ahead of the UK on trans issues - I've had British people straight up refuse to work with me cause I'm trans even though that's illegal, and string me along for ages cause they think I'll be a diversity checkbox for them. Whereas in my (admittedly limited) experience American producers are more willing to give me a shot and don't see my transness as an obstacle. The producers of [SUPER REDACTED] are American and they gave me that role even though the character is written as cis and cis women auditioned alongside me! I thanked one of them like, "Hey, this sort of thing has never been done and it's not the sort of thing trans people are usually allowed anywhere near!" and she was like, "Bwuh? You nailed the audition, why wouldn't we give it to you?" I said to her at the wrap party, "The idea that a trans woman could be a [PERFORMER OF THIS TYPE] has not yet entered the minds of anyone outside this room, and when it does it's going to be a gamechanger for all of us." See also Nebula! I pitched Dracula's Ex-Girlfriend to them and they greenlit it 15 days later. Contrastingly, I emailed a pitch deck and pilot episode for a trans-led TV series to a bunch of British production companies back in August and a lot of them haven't even read it yet. I like working for Americans because they just seem to get it on a level that a lot of Brits don't, yet.

On the other hand!

The entire US entertainment industry is about to move to Britain! So, maybe the smart career move is to stay. My family are here, my home is here, and despite everything I do love this country. I would be sad to leave. But we'll see. The next few years are likely to be a little... unusual. My plan right now is to have one foot in both countries, and then perhaps at some point the acting industry will make the decision for me.

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maitadori · 2 years ago

Text

WEAK WILLED KNIGHT part 3. nsfw. blade x fem!reader

word count : 4.7k

part one. part two. part three

summary : in which you miss blade since you haven’t seen him for two weeks and he decides to greet you with a breathtaking kiss and fucks you dumb.

content / cw : creampie, degrading, praising, fingering, breeding kink uhh idk that’s all i remember

a/n : this took days to post because i nitpick my writing literally all the time. i used a few of my fave smuts as reference for this so if u notice a similarity or two that’s why. anyways hope u all enjoy!!

DARK CONTENT BLOGS PLZ DNI

"is there something wrong?" jing yuan, once again, called you into his office. you found it odd that he was always absent yet conveniently there when you needed scolding.

during the weekly cloud knight training you got too drowned in your thoughts, causing your partner to easily take control of the duel— which was unusual, for everyone knew that you were one of the most adept among the knights, and to see you so out of form… it hasn't been just today this has happened either, ever since the run-in with kafka, you haven't been able to think straight.

it's come to the point where you were taken to jing yuan, that's when it hit you that this has gone too far. but what could you tell him? would you be able to admit to him that this man was the reason for your sudden downgrade in skill?

the mere thought of that idea had you recoiling. you were too prideful to admit that some man was making your mind so jumbled.

your silence seemed to be the exact answer jing yuan needed, you both hated and loved how well he could read you.

"maybe you should go home for the day."

"huh?" you question, perking up. "there's no need for that."

"it's obvious your mind is elsewhere, and it has been for over two weeks. i can't have you holding us back, [name]. this issue needs to be fixed. and if it means giving you a day to solve whatever this is, then so be it."

his words stung. holding us back...

you had to remember, before he was your friend, he was your general. you got too lost in the privilege of being special to him that you forgot what being under him as a subordinate was really like.

"i see..." you bowed your head, burning your gaze into the ground, trying and failing horribly to hide your emotions. "i understand, general. thank you for your consideration."

"he'll visit you." he suddenly spoke.

you jerked up, looking at your general with widened eyes. "w-what..?"

"you think that man can survive longer than two weeks without seeing your face?" jing yuan chuckled, crossing his arms.

you blinked, surprised, before you spoke in a shaky tone. "i'd like if you dropped the subject, general. i'll be taking my leave now."

he could only hum as he watched you leave.

you were quick to dress into something more comfortable as you tried erasing jing yuan’s words from your mind. you fumbled with your armor slightly, groaning in irritation. over the years, it wasn't too difficult to get used to the heaviness of your uniform, but it could still be a nuisance to you. yours was like sushang’s, lighter in weight than the average male, but you could still admit the clothing’s annoyance to you.

you approached your window, cracking it open and watched as it swayed your curtains. you could only sigh, lean against the window sill, and battle the crisis in your mind as you watched your people.

the kiss hasn't left your mind since it happened. as embarrassing as it seemed, you couldn't get blade out of your head. whether it be his haughty smirk, his voice, or his lips. you groaned and dropped your head in your hands. you didn't even notice how much it was affecting your behavior until someone as clumsy as sushang dominated the fight.

"that bastard... he has me wrapped around his stupid fucking fingers." you whispered to yourself in a low, angry voice.

for someone like blade— who before, you saw as below you— to make you feel such a way...

in front of everyone else, your pride was powerful, yet the sight of blade's face stomped it down in a mere second.

i miss him... you admitted to yourself. it was something you'd never say aloud. what the hell do i even miss...? even before the kiss, the only moments with blade were him trying his hardest to get under your skin and get reactions out of you. you'd never forget the time he grabbed your fingers through his cell bars to interlock his hand with yours.

all you could remember after that was blowing up at him, words jumbled as you tried to find an excuse for your embarrassment.

you shook your head back and forth in hope of ridding yourself of these thoughts. but even as you closed your window and laid in bed to sleep, the kiss made home behind your closed eyelids. you turned on your other side, hoping it was just you needing to get comfortable. but you felt no drowsiness.

"dammit.." you groaned to yourself, pillow tight in your grip.

you squeezed your eyes shut, trying the hardest you could to put yourself to sleep, even if forcefully. all you could think of was blade and what he was doing. and it wasn't until a full seven minutes later that your body finally decided to give you the pleasure of slumber.

noises that were lost on your sleeping form resonated through your bedroom. the squeak of your window was loud, it had you shuffling in your sheets. blade at first, tried to quietly sneak through the window after finding your front door locked before deciding not to care. you didn't keep your door unlocked like he instructed, so if you woke up, that was only your karma.

but then the thought of a possible intruder getting into your house and faltered. his steps became lighter. he neared your sleeping figure and looked at you. he wanted nothing more than to disturb your sleep and kiss you breathless. but when he took another look you looked as if your sleep was exhausting you more than replenishing you. you tossed and turned, eyebrows furrowed. maybe you were having a nightmare.

well, kissing could come after. your wellbeing came first. his hand caressed your face with the intent of soothing you, yet you only jolted awake. it was dark outside, the sun finally set. you could only see your room from what the moon decided to illuminate.

but your eyes adjusted to the dark and you instantly recognized the familiar silhouette standing above you. "b-blade..?" you asked, voice still heavy with sleep.

he only hummed in response as he climbed to hover over you, not hesitating to get his face near yours. your breath started going off track instantaneously. you lazily put your fingers over his lips, trying to feebly stop him from coming any closer. he was already making your heart going crazy enough by simply being here and letting you wake up to the sight of him, you didn't need the pounding of your heartbeat resonating in your ears next.

"i-i'm not dreaming, right?"

in response blade pinched the skin of your waist that your ridden up shirt exposed. you squeaked in pain. "what the hell!?" you whisper shouted.

"you're not dreaming." he said, tone soft. you hated admitting that the sound of his voice soothed you.

blade grabbed your wrist easily, removing your hand from his face to push it against your bed, and gently laid you against your pillows with his own body, leaning over you. his hair draped over you like a curtain, leaving you with nowhere to look but him.

any earlier resistance disappeared and you gave in the second his lips brushed against yours, going lax on your bed. the hand that held yours squeezed tighter, his other hand traveling up to hold your cheek. you leaned further into him once his lips finally met yours, giving you that sweet relief of having him against you once more.

even if you tried denying your feelings, they were apparent to blade, who could easily see through you. him and jing yuan were definitely rivaling in that aspect, and you weren't sure whether or not you hated it.

he moved the hand the held your face to your back, arching you up into him. you could tell from the way he was biting your lips and caressing his tongue with yours that this might escalate. and as he kissed you even harder you admitted to yourself that you wouldn't mind if it did.

his harsh kisses were definitely waking you up from your slumbered daze, it was then that the events that transpired earlier today seeped into your mind, causing you to lose your confidence in the kiss. blade must've noticed, for he pulled away to speak, "what's wrong?"

"why... do you even like me?" you asked in a trembling voice, deciding to be straightforward. if you thought about asking him for a second longer, you would've lost the will. plus, the question has plagued your mind for awhile and you needed answers. it’s not as if you were opposed to blade taking after you, but you couldn’t understand exactly why.

he hovered over you, moving his hand and letting your back ease into the mattress to tap the back of his index finger against your lips. "there's a lot of reasons why. but one... i like seeing the different expressions you make. whether it be when i make you angry, your brows furrow and you pout your lips, and you don't even notice." he whispers, and even in the dark you can tell he's smirking.

"or... when i kiss you and you get that desperate look on your face."

desperate!? excuse me!? you screamed in your head, flushing.

"why do you ask?"

you look away, too humiliated to say a word, but you speak up anyways, "no reason. just curious..."

blade observed you, he was good at reading people. it must've came with the job. your expression was very telling, and the fact that you were having a nightmare before he arrived was a huge factor as well.

"i like you."

it was random, and it had you sputtering, but it immediately helped assure your worries. you knew blade most likely figured out what was up, or he wouldn't have said something like that out of nowhere. though, before you could savor his words, he spoke up once more.

"can i touch you?"

would he cut it out!? if he kept saying and asking things like that so boldly you'd probably explode.

"you're already touching me..." you say snottily.

"you're right, which means i basically have permission." he whispers, loosening his hold on your hand to travel down to your thighs, spreading them open sharply.

you gasped, immediately using your free hands as leverage to cover your expression.

"look at me." he demands.

"..." you peek at him through your fingers, body going weak once you catch sight of his expression. his face is so full of want, and his face adorns a small cocky smirk. you hated how it made the heat between your legs increase. you know you shouldn't be into the way he stared at you, but you really couldn't help it.

"i'm gonna touch you, okay? will you let me?"

"do whatever you want..." you reluctantly relent.

blade ignored your attempt at veiling your actual needs and traveled his fingers higher up your thigh, tugging on your bottoms. "take these off.." he mutters.

you listen and does as he says, so he lifts himself sightly to give you space to slide your shorts down your legs. he grabs them for you and throws them aside, in a rush to get his hands on you. he rubbed your bare thighs, caressing higher up, thumb catching onto the hem of your panties.

"you said i can do whatever i want, right? i'm gonna hold you to that, we might not even leave this bedroom," he says casually, not noticing your flushed expression as he continues to ramble, "you don't know how long i've wanted this. haven't seen you for days." he hisses. "ever since i kissed you, i've been thinking about your lips since."

you wrap you arms around his neck quickly, tipping your head to the side the second his lips touched your collarbone.

his admittance had your mind hazing with a heavy blanket of need and want. words started spilling out of your mouth before you could even stop yourself. you whispered desperately, "me too..! i can't stop thinking about you.. so much to the point where it's hindering my work.. why'd you take so long to come and see me?"

blade's control is wearing thin at your whiny voice, he groans out, "my job doesn't really give me leeway. but god, i wanted to see you so bad, you don't even know." he leaves light butterfly kisses from your neck to your jaw, his thumb rubbing circles into the skin of your thigh.

then he tugs at the hem of your shirt. "i want this off, too." next thing you know, the only thing covering you are your undergarments, but you could tell from the way he kept caressing you near your panties that those would soon join the pile.

once he threw your top aside, you bring his face to yours, instantly interlocking your lips. it was the first time you took initiation and blade couldn't help but smile into the kiss. his hand ventures higher, hands intentionally swiping over the place you needed him most before pulling back to caress your hips.

you grunt into the kiss in irritation, trying to pull his body closer to you to get that friction you crave.

blade notices, and wants to tease you more than anything, but he couldn't deny how much he missed you. once you finally let him kiss you, he swore he couldn't get enough. had you not avoided him for a good two weeks he could've had moments like this with you before his work swept him away. and going two more weeks without you made it even worse. blade could only think of how it was true that distance certainly did make the heart grow fonder.

blade uses his kiss with you as a distraction and slips his finger past your undergarments to finally touch you where you craved. you instantly pull away from the kiss with a gasp, your back arching up slightly as you whined aloud.

"so pretty." blade muttered, placing kisses on your shoulder before pulling away to watch your expressions. he could feel how his erection tightened his pants uncomfortably at the mere sight of you drowning in pleasure. "another expression to add to my list." he whispers, eyeing your face with a carnal, predatory hunger.

blade slides one finger into you and stares at the way you twitch and thrash. "w—waaait..!!" you moaned, trying your hardest to catch your breath. he ignores your pleas and speeds up the pace, slowly adding in a second finger.

with your reactions, he could tell how sensitive you were. he could only grin and think about how fun teasing you in future will be.

blade curled his fingers in a way that had you keening and flailing, trying to kick him away. he put a hand on your abdomen to still you. "nnn...noo..! if you.. hngg.. keep doing that... i'm- i'm definitely soaking the sheets..." you whimpered in a whispery voice. in response to you, he starts rubbing your clit in circular motions, your cries becoming louder.

"promise?" he kissed your cheek.

you whined more and blade buried his face in your neck, conveniently placing his ear right by your mouth. a perfect place to hear your noises at full volume. that was before you decided to go and try to cover your mouth.

the muffled noise of your cries let him know what you were trying to do immediately. he sits up to glare down at you, slowing down the pace of his fingers.

“w—what..?” you cry out, confused.

“let me hear you. if you do that again, i stop,” his voice is commanding and it has your legs trembling. you obey him easily. helplessly under his mercy, and remove your hands from your face.

“good.”

he leans down to kiss your face and continues his previous pace. you cry out in relief, feeling your peak climbing its way up.

"you'd look so pretty wrapped around me, you know?" he speaks into your skin. you whimper at that.

the rhythm of his fingers made you a moaning mess, you couldn't help but thrash and kick, the pleasure all too overwhelming— but it still wasn't enough. you desperately needed what he had hiding behind his zipper.

"cum for me..." he coos softly into your ear, voice condescending yet fond at the same time.

"i— i want..."

"i know..." he cuts you off, "i'll stuff you with my cock like you want, just cum on my fingers first." he rasps, letting you know he was enjoying this just as much as you.

he curls the pads of his finger against a certain spot that makes you jerk in his hold. a loud moan leaves your lips and you try your hardest to push him away. blade doesn't give you the chance, keeping you stilled against the bed, thrusting into you even faster. your vision goes white and the brunt of your orgasm hits you full force, you whine loudly and try your best to push blade away, weakly hitting his forearm with your fist. he helps you ride out your orgasm by rubbing your bud, watching you with a hot, burning desire. his control is on the verge of snapping. if you keep making these noises and faces he can't guarantee he'll continue being gentle with you.

"haa...hahh.." you pant loudly, chest rising up and down. “dammit, i definitely ruined that pair.”

you're too distracted to notice blade undressing himself, only opening your eyes to look at him once you hear the unbuckling of his belt.

"blade..." you cry.

he hushes you with his lips, adjusting your position once his bottoms are off— joining the pile of your clothes. you squeak at the sudden breeze of cold air once blade starts sliding your garment down your legs.

“you’re so soaked. fuck.” he mutters breathily, eyes dark. your cunt pulses at the realization that his expression isn’t only because of lust but also him trying his hardest to hold himself back.

you’re both surprised and slightly disgusted with yourself because you’re aware that if he were to snap and be extremely rough with you, you wouldn’t mind— you’d even enjoy it.

“i said you could do whatever you wanted with me, right?” you lean up and unclasp your bra, tossing it aside— you’d usually be humiliated by such boldness, but you were too busy reveling in blade’s awed expression— for once it felt like you one-upped him.

“i suggest you watch your tongue.” he grumbles, and you couldn’t help but smile to yourself. you’re obviously riling him up, and enjoying it to the fullest.

“but i need it, blade. you promised you’d give me your cock, didn’t you?” you whined, fully aware of your effect on him.

he huffs, shoving you down on the bed to loom over you again, before hissing, “remember who has the authority here.”

you only smirked cockily, a face blade could admit that he really liked. “well maybe you need to remind me,” you say cheekily.

blade, in response, pulls his cock out of his boxers, and it shuts you up immediately; the mere sight of it. he caught sight of your eyes glued to his length and could only smirk.

“maybe i didn’t need to remind you.” the words of ‘you reminded yourself’ went unsaid, but you both knew.

he leans down to interlock your lips and starts grinding himself against you.

there’s no way that’ll fit!! you screamed internally, it’s not like you were inexperienced, but you can say with confidence you’ve never laid with someone so well endowed.

your mind hazes as his tongue delves into your mouth, and you can’t bring yourself to worry.

the tip of his cock catches your clit and you both groan.

“stop teasing.” you complain, brows knitting together.

blade pulls away to pump himself a couple times before finally lining himself up to your slit. he sets a heavy finger right above your belly button, pressing it into your skin.

you eye the indent he creates in confusion. you try to catch his eyes but he can’t seem to pull his gaze away from where his finger is placed.

“here.”

“huh?”

“i’ll be right here.” he taps the spot again as if solidify his words into reality. you flush once you realize his implications, and as much as you wanted to knock him down a peg, you knew he was probably right. with how big he was you’d probably be able to feel him in your throat. your breaths become labored at the idea of it all, anxiously waiting for him to fill you like he promised.

“give me a safe word.” he says, voice guttural.

“red!” not only did it mean stop in a lot of circumstances, but it also reminded you of his eyes.

with that being said, he pushes himself into you, burying himself in to the hilt. your eyes roll back and you grip his biceps to ground yourself.

“you can take all of me, right?” he asks huskily, grabbing your hips for leverage and setting his forehead against yours.

“i can i can, i can!!” you chant out dizzily, on cloud nine from this alone.

“good.. so good for me.” he whispers through gritted teeth. he pulls out till the tip, groaning at the harsh resistance. it’s either you were too tight or he was too big. he assumes it’s because you’re squeezing the life out of him but you’re guessing otherwise.

he abruptly thrusts all the way back in, slamming you against his pelvis. you jerk in his hold, tears lining your bottom lashes as you sob loudly.

blade repeats the process, but this time with more ferocity. your mouth waters at the intensity of it all, eyes rolled back to your brain. he catches your expression and decides he won’t have mercy on you as he previously insisted.

the only thing leaving your lips is a mantra of his name as he starts a rhythm. he doesn’t spare you a single breath, his own lungs drying up and in desperate need for air— because he’s just so deep.

he slams into you harshly, your clit rubbing onto his pelvis with each grind into you, your sobs resonate through the room and your legs twitch violently.

“fuuuckkk! blade blade, blade!! cant! i cant.. i— nnnn!!” your nails dig into the muscles of his arms, making crescent shaped dents.

“you can. you promised, right? you’ll cum for me just like this, right sweetheart?” he coos condescendingly.

the mean tone of his voice is lost on you, for all you can think about is the term of endearment— you squeeze him harder.

“shitttt.” blade groans at the sensation. he grabs your face desperately, locking lips with you to hide his noises. it’s a sloppy kiss, your own drool slipping down your chin. you can’t even focus on the raunchiness of it all, the way he slams down into you— tip of his cock kissing your cervix— you can’t bother to think of anything else. you moan breathily into the kiss, hands gravitating to blade’s back to let your nails make their mark there.

“you like that, huh? when i call you sweet names? tell me you like it, baby,” he says, lidded eyes trained on you.

“i love it!”

his hand travels between your bodies to make circular motions on your clit, other hand massaging your breast, and you swear you see white. squeaky little ‘blade blade, blade!’s come out of your puffy, swollen lips.

“want me to cum inside you? give you my kids.. let them keep you company while i’m gone. you’d like that, yeah?” he pulls away from you slightly to babble senselessly— his mind mush, and mouth running on auto pilot. his words set a fire off inside you, and the knot in your tummy tightens further, on the brink of snapping.

“yes yes, yes!” you sob, your nails raking up and down his back.

“course you’d like that. look at you, my little cocksleeve. you were made to take my cock, admit it.” he grabs your face with one hand, squishing your face together. your moans take on a different tone at his degrading.

“i was.. ohhhh— i—” you couldn’t even finish, the tip of his cock kissing and stroking your sweet spot. blade doesn’t like your lack of answer, so his hips slow their pace, dropping to mere strokes.

“n—no, what..?” you blink out of your daze, your pleasure riddled mind slowly coming to.

“answer me, i asked you a question.”

desperate to get the pleasure you were quickly becoming addicted to, you obey his needs without another word.

“i’m your cocksleeve! i was made just to take your cock. so please! use me!” you cry out in little to no hesitation.

“fuck.” he mumbles. before you can exhale you’re immediately inhaling from the shock of his abrupt, sharp speed. he’s drilling into you harshly, lifting your legs and arching your back to hit your sweet spot with each thrust. his thumb finds your clit and your mind instantly blanks.

the quickness of it all quickly overwhelms you and your orgasm climbs the ladder with quick succession. you’re sobbing now, nails making red lines on his back as he pounds into you.

you can feel him in your stomach. and you knew if you were able to keep your eyes open, you’d be able to see it too.

“please let me cum, i wanna cum!” you cry out brainlessly.

“fuck. fuuckkk. cum, pretty thing. cum on my cock so i can cum deep inside you.” he buries his face in your neck, kissing dark purple blemishes into your skin.

his voice does you in, the roughness of it all, and the fact that he sounds just as wrecked as you. you’re only able to give a whiny warning of, “cumming— i’m cumming!! ohh god!!” before you finally burst. your body convulses brutally and you squeeze blade in a vice grip, punching out a guttural groan from him.

the feeling has blade reaching his peak before he can even compose himself. his hips stutter and he’s slamming into you, gripping your hips harshly — which will definitely leave bruises�� and his finger rubs your clit to help you ride out your high.

“fuck fuck, fuck. fuuuckk. i’m gonna fill you up just like you want. make you round with my kids. gonna give it all to you. you’ll take it, right? you’ll take it all, i just know it,” he chants, mind blank.

“please, blade— ohhh goddd, please fill me up!!” you sob, tears running down your cheeks.

one last slam of his hips has him filling you up to the brim. more more, more— until his burning hot cum squelches out of you and drips onto the sheets. it prolongs your orgasm and you’re whining at the feeling. small praises leave blade’s lips as he leaves small kisses all over you.

he sits up and slowly pulls out of you, watching, entranced, as all of his cum slowly seeps out. with an empty mind that’s only filled with the image of you, he puts his fingers in your cunt to plug you up and prevent anything else from draining out.

a spike of pain and pleasure shoot through you. your mind starts clearing and you squeal, “hey!!”

he meets your gaze, eyes your messy form, and says simply, “sorry.” he pulls away.

blade hated that you looked so good that way. your body riddled with sweat, brows furrowed, lips pouted (that expression he loved so much), and hair mussed all over your pillows.

you can’t tear your eyes away from how he stares at you. this time, you notice the fondness that swim in his irises and your tummy flutters. your lips curl into a sweet smile and you speak to sweep away your embarrassment, “you’re really obsessed with me.”

blade’s eyes widen, and you assume it’s because of your words; but you couldn’t be any more wrong.

this is the first time you’ve smiled like that in his presence. he couldn’t deny that he loved your other faces, whether it be anger, prideful, lust, you name it. but this one… it was definitely his new favorite.

you predicted he’d say something along the lines of, “i am.” and make you further embarrassed. but if anything, he said the opposite.

“spread your legs.” he orders simply.

you blink at him, noticing his eyes that filled with desire once more.

“y—you can’t be serious!!!”

taglist : @chalksdreams @bloo-wisteria @maddymints09 @just-simping-over-genshin @xiaowatching @sunsethw4 @caesadele @forsh4dow @i-x4o @shrimp-anon some of u i couldn’t tag sorryyyyy ☹️

#blade honkai star rail x reader #blade hsr #blade hsr x reader #honkai star rail blade x reader #honkai star rail x reader #hsr blade x reader #hsr x reader #blade honkai star rail #blade smut #blade hsr smut #hsr blade smut #hsr blade #cloud knight!reader #blade x reader #🃏; saturn.writes

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ttrpg-smash-pass-vs · 8 months ago

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Inevitable been thinking about how that one anon viewed Laios as a monsterfucker, and I think it made me realize the source of that confusion:

I think many monsterfuckers, and also many (dare I say most) monster devourers like Laios, both derive their desire from the same source: a latent wish for apoteratosis, the wish to become a monster.

Linguistic side note: apotheosis, becoming a god, breaks down to apo- (towards the end point), theo (god), -osis (turn noun into verb), so I swapped in the root for monster, hence apo- terato -osis. Side note over.

Monster devourers are a rather rare archetype in (mainstream) fiction, but they do exist. Those who seek to mimic or emulate the monster's power, those who find them endlessly fascinating and study them well past the point of obsession, those who wish to show their dominance over the monster by proving that they can kill and eat it... and I think Laios is the first I've seen who takes the title quite so literally, where his obsession goes straight to monsters-as-food.

Monsterfuckers, meanwhile wish to become close to the monster in a non destructive way (or at least a typically less destructive one, usually the only casualties are furniture and few bandages are needed, but I'll acknowledge that exceptions definitely exist). They wish to bond with it, to connect to it through lust or intimacy, to be able to stand at its side. They wish, on some level, to join it. Side note, I'm not saying this is true of all teratophiles, some are just kinky and driven by the thought of positive physical pleasure, or who find the personality of a given monster appealing, but I do think the apoteratotic desire is an underlying driver for many, I'd guess well more than half, it's just a subtle enough thing that I don't think most are consciously aware of it.

There's also a third point to the secret apoteratosis triangle that might surprise you: the monster slayer. Sure many, even most, slayers are driven by something like disgust or xenophobia or even rationality, but a significant minority land in the "if you can't join 'em, beat 'em" a.k.a. "I can't be you, so I'll destroy you" camp.

And these three reactions are, I notice, the three most common reactions that people have to one thing: the unattainable desire. The sentence begins "I cannot have it..." and these three camps end it different ways.

The teratophages say "so I shall dominate it." They seek what power they can grasp so they can have some modicum of control, so they can try to "have" it anyway. The kaiju corpse scavengers in Pacific Rim including refined and suave mob boss types just smacks of this attitude.

The teratophiles say "so I'll get as close as I can." There's a werewolf romance book where they're considering trying to turn the girlfriend, though they have no idea if she'll survive it (boyfriend was turned by accident then abandoned, so he's clueless, and they haven't found any others to teach them), and she says that she's fine remaining human, because she shares the power through him. "I have it, because you have it." The façade eventually breaks and in a vulnerable moment she confesses that she'd be willing to risk even a likely death to try to be turned. When they get in contact with an elder who can turn her safely she doesn't even wait a week.

The teratophobes write that whole sentence as "if I can't have it, then no one can." I'm sure everyone has seen enough examples of this behavior to understand that it's just a kind of love turned corrupt.

I'm not the first to notice the underlying apoteratotic urge: the aforementioned werewolf story, indeed many werewolf and vampire stories romanticize the transformation of a human into a monster. Back to Dungeon Meshi, author Ryōko Kui is fully aware of it with how Laios's underlying desire is eventually brought out of the subtext and explicitly named as his dysphoria with humanity, and his wishing that he could be a monster. For Laios that desire skipped right past the socially unacceptable monsterfucking, explicitly a form of bestiality in that world, to the socially acceptable devouring, though tempered by his respect and admiration of monsters into a desire for symbiosis with them. He cannot become one in truth (or so he thought when younger) but he could become part of their food web. It's as close as he thought he could get. Of course, that's the Watsonian explanation; the Doylist explanation is that Ryōko Kui wanted to subvert expectations, and also wanted to explore this angle of it.

So, all taken together, I think people read Laios as monsterfucker coded simply because teratophiles, teratophages, and teratophobes all share the same root motivation: apoteratosis. Thus, all three branches are coded very similarly.

It's similar to something I've seen in Batman fandom: some fans project romantic love between various members of the Batfamily, which is both wildly against canon and thoroughly hated by some other branches of fandom. But it is understandable, since familial love and romantic love both come from the same root, love of another. If someone doesn't recognize the simultaneous similarities and distinctions, it's all to easy to conflate them. If you don't actually understand the distinction, then the signs of affection between siblings might look the same as the signs of affection between lovers. Likewise, if you don't understand the distinction, the urge of the monster devourers (or ecologists) might look the same as the urge of the monster fucker.

I've sat on this for near a month, partially because of my repeated absences, partially because I wanted to honor it with an equally in-depth response. But 24 days later I've still got nothing, while I can't speak for that particular person I think in general you hit the nail right on the head for the base roots. I got no notes. Even with Laios...like all I can add is how supplemental materials actually confirm he did want to be a monster researcher but found books too dry, the only one who seemed to really *get* monsters was shunned. and how wild he goes when talking with an actual werewolf, "The existence I thought unobtainable is now right in front of me".

#even that last part. like as someone who got married only for us to realize that we may have the wrong kind of love #then broke up but stayed good friends and roommates but throughly not attracted to each other.#yeeeeeeah.#not tournament #answers

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