#Anyway thank you for this. <3 I’m glad it resonated!

[itspileofgoodthings]

Thank you for your 'wave of anxiety' post. It is similar to things I have had to learn and relearn dozens of times. I have learned how asking God for help with it has always, ALWAYS yielded results. Very rarely the instantaneous sorts, but very much in accidental connections and life experiences to put me in the right place. All the best to you.

thank YOU for this sweet message! I feel like I’m slowly learning to recognize the anxiety spirals that have wrapped themselves around the very way I think about things and trying to step away from them and recognize them as NOT my thoughts. And that includes how I pray and/or think about God.

and YES! He speaks slowly—through the things that happen and the people I know and love. Not actually through my panic-stricken imaginings of what He’s trying to tell me.

[silvershiningtarot]

PAC 18+ 👐🏾A Little Love Letter from your Soulmate & Twin Flame ~ Pick a Pile.

❤��A channeled Message from your future partners. Take what resonates and what doesn't. You can pick more than one pile.

Our time doesn't stop. I just wanna know how you feel about me. You wanna know how I feel about you? I dream about you all the time. I feel that our souls are already married. Can you feel it? I get this shocked feeling when I hold your hand in my dreams. I know your face. Remember that. In our past life, we were hunted down. I don't know why I said that but I guess it was meant to be said. I am your person whether or not you believe it. When you sing in the middle of the night, I can hear you. I love that curve body you got. I will be watching you over from the stars. I have incarnated myself to meet you. Can you believe that now? My sweet love ❤️, Do you remember me? You told me that you remember. How can you forget? You and I are the same. Our soul is the same. I don't like labels. Or you might like labels. You probably consider me a rebel but I’m not I just don't like labels. You and I share the same soul. You know that right? I feel that you run away from me because you're scared. No need to be. I got you. I won't let you fall. Of course, you dream about other dudes, and you think that they are husbands but they are not. I am your fucking husband. You piss me off when you don't believe it. You think I can't hear you, but I do. That shit hurts my feelings when you do. Sometimes I distance myself away from you because you push me away. Not me… You! I raise my voice at you, but I tried to call you, but you didn't answer me. Ugh, shit sucks. We are telepathically connected can you feel that? I know this may scare you but I know your name. I know your name seriously. But I am not going to say it. Look at that 3:33. I like it when you dress up so beautifully. Thank you so much, for taking care of yourself. I am glad you are eating. I feel that we should talk more about our life together. Our future life. I have a good feeling that our love lives here will be perfect. I know you see me as a baby daddy. I know I got kids but at the end of the day. My kids are taken care of. You shouldn't be worrying about our kids. That's right I said it my kids are your kids too. We are a family together. From another life before us, you tried to escape with me. But we were caught, I have dreams about our life before. It was just bad. But the good part is I was with you. No matter if I were send-off to war at that time. See! Our clock is going clockwise. Sing to me, my love. Do you dream about our life too? You are such a brilliant person. When I was a young child I manifest you, I remembered watching fairytale movies with my sibling dreaming that is us on the television. I am your beast and you are my beauty. My heart has been cold 🎿 Can you warm 🔅 it up? I love it when you rough me up in your dreams. My dominance-Matrix. Sorry, I tried to be sexy with my words. Obviously, that didn't work. I am such a geek 🤓. Hey, do you watch Revenge of the Nerds? Booger is my favorite character the way he burps is fucking awesome. Haha 😂. We got something in common. Your dreams are my dreams. I am coming to you. Can I cuddle next to you? I wanna touch your soft skin. That makes me feel so happy. I know you are an aggressive woman. But I don't care! Call me bad names, and tied me down if you have. Unleash the monster out of you. 😉😜. Are you ready for your kiss with me? I wrote you this love letter for you. I know you might not wanna hear this I wanna talk to you. Your other father from your past life is saying sorry for locking you up in that castle. My darling, I want you to be okay. I love you very much. He comes to me in my dreams sometimes. But anyway, please don't be mad at me. I am your husband. I miss your voice, and I miss everything about you. I have a breeding kink. So you are going to carry my kids. That's a guarantee.

Hey, chocolate drip 💧 how are you? I'm sorry 💔 that I wasn't ready. I know I send you the wrong message in your dream. Just know that I love every minute of it. Hanging out with you, and hearing your voice. It sounded sexy to me. That shit turns me on. Woah, do you know how sexy you are? You wake up sexy. I've been feeling drained lately. My energy has been drained. I have my good days and I have my bad days. You're my soulmate. I know you don't like labels but I like it. I've been emotional, and I just wanna cry 😭. I wake up thinking about you. I just needed someone to talk to. I still feel alone. I feel that nobody gets me. I tried to put a smile on my face. I feel that someone is after me, I don't know if it bad way or a good way. Look it's 10:10. I'm glad I'm talking to you. You're my new beginning. My fresh start. I know I wasn't ready. I got scared 😱. I was frightened to meet you. I know I let my fear get in the way between us but not this time. I know this sounds fucking weird but I am glad you are being patient with me💞. I am glad you are not running away from me. I can't believe I daydream about you all the time. What would you be like? What kind of future you and I will have? What our babies would look like? I have so many questions to ask you, my dear. See, when I talk to you, I don't think about my problems ⚠️ like that. Your energy, light, and your whole aura just make me happy. I feel all giggling now. Hahaha 🥹😂. I just wanted to talk to you. So how did you sleep? Did you dream about me? I dreamt about you. You are my divine counterpart. I can hear your sweet voice in my head saying my feelings matter. I haven't been okay. Sorry for bringing the mood down. Who am I to tell you to wait on me? Of course, I want you to go out there and fucking date people. You get it. I didn't say to date someone I said people in general. I don't care if I sound possessive or clingy. But I am clingy to you. Everything on your body is mine. It's like you mindfuck me. In a good way. I am not telling you to wait, but I'm hoping 🙏🏾 that you wait. I am truly praying that you wait. Anyways, good morning to you. Or should I say Grand Rising🔅? I pray 🙏🏾 for you all the time. You know that right every single day I pray for you. I hope you can hear my prayers🙏🏾. Anyways, I love you. I wanna tell you my life story. I mean you know some of it because of what I told the world about and the media. But I still feel shut down. I've been doing a lot of self-work on myself. Like literally been doing shadow work. I have been recognizing a lot of my bullshit, people's fakeness, and my trauma.

Oooh, Hii! Baby. I feel so excited talking to you. It's like you are my energy drink. It's been an honor talking to you. I hope you are having a good day. I remember when I was young I used to draw little hearts ❤️ because I thought about my future wife as a child. So now I'm all grown up. How do you feel about us? How do you feel hearing this story? I have been manifesting you for a very long time. I never thought you exist but you do. Sometimes my friends laugh at me. But do I pay any of those bitches no mind? Hell, the fuck no. They think I'm delusional and you don't exist. You only exist in my head. Hear how that shit sounds. Fucking dumb right? Anyways. Yesterday!! 🤗💯 I hugged you, did you feel it? Our Love is like Disney movies 🎬 but ten times better than any other Disney movies. I've been healing myself. We are going to have a successful life. I love that we are going to be successful. Our connection is fate and we are each other’s destiny. So allow me to introduce myself.

I have a little message to tell you. I just wanna say that I have a huge crush on you. Do You know why I say that? Is because I had a dream about you. I finally saw who you are. Your face is gorgeous. You have the most beautiful face in the world🌸. Can I give you a rose 🌹? I wrote you this letter because I want you to remember that you are something special to me. You are very special. The way how I feel about you. I want you right now. Everything about you brights up my world. I wish that I was right there next to you. Good morning to you. You gave me so much hope. You are such a positive and great human being. You are so caring for the world👐🏾. Baby 👶🏾, are you pregnant? Not yet huh ❔ well you will be soon. I have a breeding kink. I love getting you pregnant. So the way you care for children, makes me feel that you should have kids of your own. I'm glad you are waiting patiently. I love you so much. You are my love. ❤️❤️🌹Will you take my rose? As an honor of my appreciation to you. I appreciate you.

We are each other's perfect match. We are each other's equal. You belong with me forever. See! I said it because you are my favorite person in the world to me. How are you feeling today? Is everything okay, I hope that it is. Because if it isn't, please let me know. I'll put a spell on these fools who are hurting you. I'm not kidding around. I do magic ✨. So again if anyone is bothering you. Just wink 😉 at me. I'll get the message. But anyway enough of that negativity. I hope you are waking up doing yoga. Meditating and just relaxing your mind. I do yoga sometimes. I always meditate because meditation helped me. I was in your shoes before. I was in a dark place but now I realize that I can't fucking seat around and just wait for the universe help me grow. I told myself I want to grow. So I made it my mission to change my life around. Now I feel better. That doesn't mean I don't have bad days but I'm good 🌟. So again, my love I want you to focus on yourself, their problem isn't your problem. Whoever got the drama, don't fucking get involved. That shit pissed me off. So you better begin a new change in your life baby. Anyways that's my message to you. Grow baby, Grow! Not for me, your family, or your friends but for yourself. Have better self-control. Whenever you feel down, angry or sad, or just not in the mood. Go ahead and talk to me🥲. I always talk to you. Listen to my message.

[prince-liest]

I’m a sex-repulsed ace, and reading the latest chapter of 666 (as well as your analysis here on Tumblr) made me realize that I have been subconsciously thinking about MY OWN sexuality from an allo perspective? And that it has kinda been messing me up?? Like, ever since I learned that sexual attraction was actually a Thing and that it’s Important To People, I had been carrying around a fear of being deficient in some way and not being able to love to the same extent as allos. (1)

Even though I know logically that’s complete garbage and totally untrue, I felt left out of the loop because people seemed to care strongly about this thing I couldn’t even imagine. Whenever it looked like a relationship might happen I panicked for a reason that I couldn’t understand. But now I’m starting to realize that it’s because I was subconsciously terrified of an ‘ulterior motive’ behind the other person’s reasons for wanting to be with me. (2) That part of the reason they even cared was because of something I don’t experience. So thank you, because this realization just clicked into place while reading your work. The thing is, this way of thinking was just internalized in such a way that I didn’t even realize it was there until literally this week. And I think you’re right; one of the main reasons behind that is because I’ve always consumed media written from an allo perspective. (3) If ace/aros are shown at all, they’re depicted as “lacking” and their character development usually revolves around being “fixed” by the story. When I was ~10 years old my mom sometimes let me watch the Big Bang Theory with her (looking back, maybe not the best decision). Anyways, there was one episode deep into the series where Sheldon (who for the past nineish seasons was probably the closest thing to mainstream ace rep) has sex with his girlfriend for the first time. (4) Afterwards, he says something along the lines of “that was better than I thought it would be”, and it’s presented as a Very Good Thing and a big step in their relationship. I think a lifetime of stuff like that makes it very easy to internalize aphobia and feel like the lesser part of the relationship. Or to feel like the other partner is making a huge sacrifice to be with you. That got wayy too long, sorry. All that was just a lot of words to say that I appreciate you. Take care of yourself!(5)

The portrayal of asexuality that you see in media being almost exclusively as you described is very tedious to me because it presumes that something is inherently lacking in aro/aceness rather than that feeling of "lacking" being something that is induced by societal norms. Actually, one of the things that I find additionally alienating is that fandom spaces specifically have been getting better and better about ace characters - but got damn does fandom not jive with aromanticism. Like, a character doesn't want to fuck? That's becoming a liiiittle more fine, it's 2024, we stan consent. But not shipping someone romantically?? Not so easy, now.

I'm glad that my work has been something that resonated with you in this respect! Alastor cares a lot about his reputation as a demon but is pretty blatantly a person who could not possibly give less of a shit about being "wrong" for not being experiencing romantic or sexual attraction. The explanation Viv gave at one point for his own understanding of himself (that he thinks he's just "waiting for the right woman") actually stuck out to me a lot because it's a very "well, nothing is wrong with me for not feeling anything, it's the world that's failed to produce a suitable person" perspective.

But having that kind of confident perspective of your own rightness in the world is really not often portrayed in media, or even in fandom, which even ten years ago was still in the throes of standardizing "Oh, no! Me, gay? These feelings are so wrong!" style m/m content and is honestly not that far off from essentially that for aro/ace characters.

Anyway, all of that is to say that there's not yet much out there that doesn't frame allo/amatonormative values as the default that "even aro/ace people can (and should want to) achieve," and that it's really fun to write a fic that is unequivocally from the perspective of a character who is aroace and doesn't see it as even remotely a fault in himself. Does he have moments where he's a little confused and trying to process how things fit for him? Absolutely. But he just doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who thinks he owes romance to Vox of all people, hahaha. I've written him trying to conform to allo/amatonormativity more with Mimzy, because I think the social standards of their time could push him into it, but Vox? Absolutely not, he does not respect Vox enough for it to even enter his mind.

And then, on the other hand, writing it from an aroace perspective centers the way that romantic and sexual interest can feel like a betrayal of a good thing. With a character like Alastor, it frames romantic and sexual attraction the same alien way that we usually see aromanticism and asexuality framed as.

In the end, this is just one of a plethora of different experiences that aro/ace people can have, but it's one that I really wanted to see represented more, so I'm very happy to write it. I'm glad that you're enjoying it!

[celestie0]

it’s so refreshing to see stories with actual plot and complicated characters rather than forcing smut into every crevice where it might fit. I know people won’t admit it, but jeez a lot of readers have porn addictions but don’t realize because they’re reading it rather than watching. There are going to be people who read your writing just for smut, but i really really hope you know that there are others out there that truly enjoy the plot and characters you write!! (also it’s refreshing to see gojo have a personality other than a childish sex-crazed freak) i love you’re writing and ability to create stories. although it is nice sometimes, i would read kickoff and ihm even if there was no smut at all. ❤️❤️

ahhh thanks for your kind words bb :’’’)) yea, i know conversations ab porn addictions can be polarizing, because there’s a partial part where it’s important to respect what a person does in their own time lol, but i also remember watching a really interesting ted talk about porn addictions (although it was more tailored towards visual porn as opposed to literature porn, i still think a lot of the points resonate tho) and how harmful they can actually be, so its a discussion worth having at times. anyways, i’m not here to extensively argue the ethics of porn addictions bc like for one i’m not a psychologist who is qualified and two i suppose it’s up to the individual to deal with 😂 but even if people want to read smut or are dying to see specific things in my fics, they should keep those desires to themselves?? i understand that my stories have/will eventually have smut and that this blog is 18+ with sexual nsfw content, but that doesn’t mean i should just be subject to such pressures to continue supplying said content all the fuckin’ time lol.

anywho sorry i went on a little rant there, but i hear you, and i’m glad to help contribute to the kind of content that you enjoy seeing!! and to hear that you would read my stories even without smut is reassuring lmfao i’ve literally thought about just not including smut in ihm or kickoff out of spite to these horny readers 💀 but i myself am horny for my own characters so i don’t think such a thing will happen 😂 but it’s nice to know i’d have your support regardless hahah

much love <3

[fireflylitsky]

Hi!!!! I just read your t4t hidan/kakuzu fic (the t injection one) and I tried to leave comments on it but ao3 went down as i was commenting… (so transphobic of them tbh)— Anyway I just wanted to come here and say how much I loved it!!!! <3 Thank you for writing something so good fr 🙂‍↕️

Ahhhh thank you so much! That’s so sweet of you 🥹 I’m glad you liked it, that fic means so much to me and I remember being so nervous to post it that I did it on anon at first 🤡 I just really loved the idea of them sharing this experience in common without realizing it, and just ahhh the sense of emotional intimacy and trust and vulnerability that is very unique to t injections. I’m always so happy to hear when it resonates with someone else ❤️

[tired-lamb]

Favorite songs from each Lion Guard season so far? :D

this ask made me go through tlg’s fandom wiki list of songs from the entire show and I remember like. half of these. anyway to answer your question..

starting with the long-ish episodes since the fandom wiki listed them seperately.

return of the roar (pilot) — tonight we strike. I remember beginning my rewatch of tlg and I sort of forgot the songs but when I heard this I was like yo this is so good?? /pos.

the rise of scar — fujo and the path of honour.

battle for the pridelands — quite obviously a new way to go :)

season 1 — jackal style, baboons!, and lions over all. jackal style is such a good song dude they had no right going that hard on it but boy am I glad they did haha. baboons is a song I’ve always loved, and tbh I generally like fuli’s songs. diamond white’s got a nice voice, what can I say? lions over all is generally very interesting to me and was my favourite song when watching the show as a kid.

season 2 — may there be peace, fabulous dhahabu, I’m gonna run this dump, and height and sight. may there be peace is such a soothing song and very much applies to today’s world, I feel. fabulous dhahabu is an amazing song and I listened to it for maybe two-three days straight after watching that episode lol. I’m gonna run this dump not only gives us content of the outlanders but is also otherwise a banger, as all outlander songs tend to be haha. height and sight has to be one of my top tlg songs from all the seasons; it’s such a beautiful melody and the harmonisation between ono and anga is so soothing to hear.

season 3 (from what all I’ve watched so far) — ghost of the mountain, as you move forward, friends to the end, who is better than who? and poa the destroyer. general bops for the most of them. as you move forward especially resonated with me, and also fikiri’s va/heather headley has a beautiful voice. friends to the end and who is better than who is also really fun to sing!

thanks for the ask!! really enjoyed answering this one, and hope you don’t mind the rambles haha, can’t help myself sometimes.

[firstprincehornyramblings]

📝 please! Very intrigued 😎 x

Hello darling ! 📝 - Alex's Bisexual Awakening

“Fine,” the brunette grinned like a demon, “Anyway, but learning about the queer history really resonated with me, and at first, I kind of thought that was just because I’m really passionate about human rights, but then I figured out it… kind of wasn’t. Also, you’re about to scold me again,” he paused, biting at his bottom lip, “But I thought you were really hot, I mean I still do- don’t scold me. I’ve behaved,” Alex didn’t seem to notice Henry’s heart plummeting into his stomach, “Anyway, I thought maybe it was just the like normal admiration of someone older and smart and accomplished, like that’s sexy, you know? But then I realized like, yeah all of that is really sexy, but it’s also sexy how your lips curve up when you sip your tea. Or, that mole beside your mouth- like I realized I kind of wanted to kiss it… and when you wear those pants, the black ones that you only wear like once a month, I assume they’re a little too small and you only wear them when you’ve forgotten to do laundry or something, but they’re so tight on your thighs and when you sit down I would catch myself staring at your dick in t-” “Alex!” “Sorry, sorry, I’m rambling because I’m nervous. Anyway, I know that’s super inappropriate, and like, I doubt you’d be interested-” ‘Oh, if only he knew how wrong he was…’ “But I did what any self-respecting new baby gay would do, and downloaded Grindr, and I hooked up with a few guys, and that was fun. But one of them was cool and now we’re kind of seeing each other. So, like, I have a boyfriend now, thanks to you,” Alex beamed, “So thanks, for the like whole sexual awakening thing, sorry if that was super weird. I’m just really glad you helped me figure it out, even if you didn’t mean to, and I thought you should know.”

thank you for this sweetness, i did so much <3

[foreststarflaime]

How about 2, 3, 11 and 23 for whichever members of AGSZC you feel like?

Oh boy you got it, ty for the ask!!! I’ll probably just do them all

2. Did you always like this character?

Angeal I did always like on some level. I loved the banter he has with Zack on the first mission to Tamblin so much! He is very funny and dad-shaped

Genesis I honestly do not remember my initial feelings towards, which means I probably didn’t hate him initially. I was probably between neutral and vaguely like I think?

Sephiroth…hm. My first exposure to him was just Remake, so I didn’t really have any of the backstory that makes me adore him. I thought he was a cool villain, very dramatic

Zack? ABSOLUTELY. I am victim to the puppy just as much as any of us

Cloud, oh yeah of course! He was my original favorite (him and Aerith), I loved that sad pathetic loser but kinda cool energy

3. What first drew you to this character?

“You’re a liiiittle more important than my sword. But just a little.” *most mischievous happy chuckle*

For Genesis it was him being a drama queen. Gotta love that flair. And I’m obsessed with books and trench coats too 🥹

For Sephiroth it was definitely how Crisis Core humanized him. I adore Sane!Seph <3

Zack’s puppylike charm and unquenchable optimism is so so endearing and I love characters who are like that

For Cloud it was honestly kinda the whole mysterious thing he had going on with the weird headaches. That boy was NOT okay and I needed answers

11. How did you “fall in love” with this character?

I’ll combine AGS on this one bc it’s very similar for all of them. Short answer, seeing all the little breadcrumbs of how human they were Crisis Core dropped in various places, and their chemistry with and love for each other. Reading fanfics with them in it only made that worse as I got to see more of that in fanon. Then I went on a massive fanfic binge and read anything I could get my hands on with any form of AGS content in it and now I am permanently addicted. Briefly, my favorite thing about each of them that grips me by the throat: Angeal’s instinct to keep his emotions bottled up inside, honestly I resonated with that. For Genesis it was his whole struggle—the desperate desire to just want to live, to be who he was and be happy. For Sephiroth it’s how deeply he cares for his friends.

For Zack, all I can say is just watching through Crisis Core and getting to follow his narrative. That was more than enough for me, I was ride or die for Zack by like the first 30 minutes in

For Cloud it was honestly pretty much just the same thing as Zack—getting to know him by seeing his story play out in Remake. I am an absolute sucker for characters who care about their friends as much as these guys do, and the weirder about it they are the better

23. Has this character permanently altered or impacted your psyche in a way you won’t forget?

YEP.

I mean all of them have, you’ve seen how much I post about them. I connect them with everything I see these days. Like every cute animal video, etc etc etc. It’s an addiction. And these are the first characters that actually motivated me to write the fanfics I had in my head down to post them. And they connected me to all of you guys—I was never really active on any social media until this fandom, and I’m so glad I finally did start interacting! But as for specific stories—

I’ve accepted I’m nonbinary for…oh close to a year now? It took going to Oxford and getting to try things out in a new environment for it to sink in. But anyways fast forward to this summer and me discovering and feverishly writing about the trans Genesis headcanon. I was writing the fourth chapter of Silence, and researching top surgery stuff for that, and while doing that research was when it finally hit me that I wanted to do that. Which was simultaneously terrifying and exciting. So thank you Genesis for helping me process my emotions enough to start having nervous breakdowns about that lmao

And then somewhat similarly I was writing this Sephiroth-centric sort of character study fanfic which was very much projection about struggles talking to people and having a hard time finding the words to say things, etc yknow the type of thing, which is when my wonderful qpp @fridgefanatic started clowning on me about that being an autism (or at least some flavor of neurodivergent) thing, which threw me down that rabbit hole faster so yeahhhh

[curator-on-ao3]

for the director's cut thing, i would LOVE to hear you talk about the light before dawn! (sorry if you've already done it lol) it's one of my absolute all time favourite pikeuna fics <3

Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Thank you so much, @belannaswlonkderfulworm!! ❤️ That’s so kind of you and deeply meaningful for me. 🥹

To explain: The Light Before Dawn lives in my heart. I started writing that multi-chap during Strange New Worlds’ first season and I think about it often with so much affection. I know fandom wisdom is people don’t like modern AUs, but I wanted to write it anyway. Something about that story just needed to be told.

I began by trying to figure out Una’s secret. I would have liked to have made her in the United States illegally, but then marriage could fix her problem and I didn’t want that pressure on her and Chris’ relationship. I also considered making Una trans, but I don’t feel qualified to write that experience. There was the option of making her a religious or ethnic minority, but then she would hopefully have a community and not be so alone. The idea of genetic engineering correlating to medical device implantation and ableism finally hit me and really resonated.

For Chris, my first idea was that he could be an equine therapist. But that didn’t work out geographically and, once I figured out Una’s secret, I also decided I didn’t want Chris in any kind of medical profession. (That’s why Joseph and Christine are barely in the story.) Making Chris a modern-day peacemaker seemed right.

Once I had the facts straight, the story had one rule — nothing bad could happen during the course of the narrative. This would be a story about emotional recovery from trauma. Even misunderstandings (like the one Una and La’an had) would be in the service of recovery. I feel like that came through, in part because one of the story bookmarks has the note “comfort in words.” I’ll tell you right now that there are times when I’ve had a shitty day, I look at or think about that bookmark and it helps me feel better that my words were able to comfort someone.

All that being said, there was so much I wanted to fit into that story and couldn’t:

I had this idea in my head that when Chris and Vina got divorced, Chris wore brown loafers with tassels to Family Court because he knew Vina hated those shoes … and he felt guilty at doing something so petty, but also free from trying to please her. As Chris made his way down the front steps of the court after the divorce was finalized, he nearly danced on the concrete with the shoes his wife — ex-wife — hated.

Speaking of Vina … there are songs on my fic playlist for Vina, a character who doesn’t even appear except for Chris mentioning her. But I have so many thoughts about Vina’s frustration with Chris, her pain at him pulling away from a life she thought was good. Vina, a financial planner, helps money make more money. She shops at chic stores and pays too much for haircuts. She moved to SoHo after the divorce and doesn’t really enjoy sex with her dates but does it to reassure herself that she’s “normal” and “fun” and “cool” because all of that is so desperately important to her. I hope she snaps out of her need to impress others, I really do, because Vina’s life could be better if she just lived it for herself.

I considered including that in the mornings when Chris’ light didn’t go on that he was at Judge Batel’s place feeling like absolute garbage. But then who discriminated against Una and cost Una her dream? It got too messy so I just left Batel out and I’m glad I did.

I was going to have the kitchen renovation company belong to Hemmer but when the show killed him, I nixed that.

At the last minute, I edited out a part where Una told Chris that when she was little and her parents would drive past the garbage dump, she would get scared they would drop her off there and leave her. But that was just too sad, even in the past.

In the universe of the story, Rukiya 100% lives to be an adult. There is no cygnokemia in New York City. After they read and run around at the park, Joseph and Rukiya go home to Debra and the family plays board games until it’s time for dinner.

In terms of good stuff, I’m really pleased with some of the details in that story — Una’s nail polish bottles, Chris’ Eagle Scout award (the highest award in Boy Scouts), those two discussing leaky scaffolding (a relatable New York City experience), the reveal of what happened to Gabriel Lorca. Also, I know I’m biased, but when Una set the stars at the planetarium to Mojave, California, so she could see what the sky looked like for Chris when he was a child at night, I think that’s so goddamn romantic of her.

I’m less pleased with my decision to have Una’s quick conversation in the mail room be with a nameless neighbor. My original thought was the neighbor could be any one of the Discovery women — Kat Cornwell, Michael Burnham, Phillipa Georgiou, etc. Meh. Then I wrote and deleted a whole section that made clear the neighbor was Christine Chapel. Maybe I should have kept that and removed the fleeting Chapel reference later. I’m not sure.

I stand by the Spirk joke at the end, though.

I also stand by Una not being a model patient. She’s mostly good about things, but she doesn’t always carry her card with her … just like a real person. And I am gleeful that Eagle Scout Mr. Moral Compass Christopher Pike uses the work printer for personal documents because, come on, we all do it.

Oof, I could keep talking about this story but I should stop. Thank you for this absolutely lovely opportunity, @belannaswlonkderfulworm, I’ve enjoyed every second of babbling about my beloved The Light Before Dawn. ❤️

Want more information about a fic I wrote? Send me an ask.

[squarebracketsmileyface]

hi :) i just wanted to drop in and say that SIL haunts me /pos. i read the entirety of it over the course of a day, and i am so serious when i say that very few pieces of writing have moved me to tears like it did. the way you portray jay makes me feel like maybe i’m not alone in how scared i get about getting attached to people. thank you for writing something so emotionally resonating (and hot!! haha), i can’t wait for the next chapters :)) lots of love!!! <3

Writing Sorry, It's Locked has honestly been so amazing for me, and knowing other people enjoy it for the same reasons I do, for the way they can relate to how I write the characters, is so special to me. Like, it's kinda a given that when you write a story you put a little bit of yourself in all the characters, that's how you make them feel real, but SIL especially has been me doing that. Like, I started off mostly only doing that with Jay, but as the story got more and more involved I ended up relating so heavily to all three of Jay, Alex and Tim, even though their story has ended up completely wild at this point lol. It definitely started off meant to be pretty simple and stick fairly close to things/feelings I've experienced myself... then it ran the fuck away from me and now is nearly to 200k words so the story had to get a bit broader lol. I haven't experienced that much in my life yet 💀

But seeing other people relate to different characters in S,IL, especially people relating to Jay is so special to me just because of how he started out. Sure, he isn't so predominantly similar to me now, he's grown hugely into his own full character, but I can't quite shake off the whole "yeah this guy is basically just my self insert character" because that was my first impression of him in S,IL, y'know? First impression, even of fictional characters you yourself are writing, stick like fucking glue.

Sorry, anyway, I'm so glad you like Sorry, It's Locked and that you can feel a bit less alone with being scared to get attached to people because of it. You're definitely not alone. Getting attached to people is fucking terrifying, but usually you'll end up finding someone you can get attached to without anything ruining it and eventually it can stop being so terrifying, whether they're platonic, romantic, sexual, queerplatonic or whatever else with you. It's fucking great when you find them and you realise that "hey, this might not end terribly. This might actually be amazing."

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

Horace

Prompt fill for "a last minute emergency means they have to bring someone else with them on the date (e.g. child, little sibling, pet)" from here featuring Modern AU Beatrice and Zevlor...and Horace the corgi. SFW.

Special shoutout to @notyournhaama for continued support and choosing the prompt!

Beatrice: Hey Zev, turns out my roommate fucked off for the weekend and since my mum is away, I’ll need to bring Horace on our date. Is that okay? If not, that’s totally understandable and we can reschedule for another time.

Zevlor: No problem at all. See you tomorrow. <3

Beatrice: Thank you so much! See you then <3

***

“Ah, so that’s the famous Horace.” Zevlor teased as Beatrice and her corgi Horace approached him at the entrance to Bloomridge Park. This was their fifth date, for which he planned a romantic picnic in what he discovered to be her favorite park in Baldur’s Gate. My goodness, she looks stunning. What a pretty lavender sundress she’s wearing that shows off all her…assets. He glanced at the corgi and offered his hand for the dog to sniff. I see I meet with his approval. Good, good. I do so very much like your mistress, Horace.

Beatrice was beaming at the two. “Aw, you two are adorable! I’m sorry about—”

He met her gaze and smiled affectionately. She’s blushing! She’s truly the sweetest. “I told you---it’s not a problem, my dear. I even packed a treat or two for a certain good boy.”

Her brown eyes widened as she took the arm he offered her. “You didn’t have to! Now I feel bad. I can reimburse you, if you want.”

Like Hells you will, darling. “Bea, please. A few treats and a tennis ball didn’t put me out that much. My army pension and work at the bakery are more than enough, so please don’t worry.” She’s been open and honest with me about her anxiety…I do not wish to add to it.

“Okay, Zev.”

My gods, my heart is going to beat through my chest. The way she said my name. That sweet little smile. How…why…does she want me? Finding a bench under the shade of a large tree, he unpacked their picnic while she poured some water in a portable bowl for Horace. “Granted, I know little of how to train pet therapy dogs, but I’d say you’re doing famously with him, darling.”

Taking a bite of the salad he made, she smiled, her freckled cheeks flushing. “Oh thank you! Honestly, he makes it really easy. Horace has always been very chill, doesn’t go crazy barking at everything…anyways, I’m glad you like him. Or at least, tolerate him.” She took another bite and leaned back against the bench, chewing thoughtfully. “I couldn’t be with someone who didn’t like him.” Beatrice turned her head, her gaze meeting his.

Lathander’s light, is she—

Zevlor swallowed. “Am I that someone?” Please, let it be me.

“If you want to be.” Her voice was barely above a whisper, and he thought at first, he did not hear her correctly. Before he could respond, she continued and began to ramble adorably. “I know you’re older than me. You’re a tiefling. I’m a half-drow. You’re from Elturel. I’m from the Gate. But…” Her nose scrunched a little as she pouted even more adorably. Good gods, I’m not going to be able to say no to her, am I? “I like you, Zevlor. I’ve not had the best time dating,” Give me names, darling. “But with you? It’s been lovely so far, and I hope we…we…um…” She had neglected to notice Zevlor’s face inching closer to hers until their lips almost touched. “We could date? If that’s something you want? I—”

As his lips touched hers, he quite deftly removed the container of salad from her hands and placed it behind her. His hands then settled on her ample waist as he inched closer to her. “There’s nothing I want more, sweetheart.”

“Oh thank fuck for that, because I was so worried—”

He hummed softly as he kissed her again, and this time, he tugged on her lower lip ever so slightly. “You needn’t worry. Not anymore.”

Zevlor was not sure why those particular words resonated with his lady.

All he knew was that after he said that she blushed more, squealed, wrapping her long arms around his neck, and kissed him passionately, moaning into his mouth.

Which was interrupted by Beatrice yelping when Horace licked her leg.

Horace, I thought you were on my side here!

“You naughty boy!” She laughed and picked up the corgi who began to lick him as well as her. “Mummy getting too much attention from Zev? Well too bad, Horace, because he’s going to be spending a lot more time with us.”

Those words resonated with Zevlor for all too familiar reasons. Since their first date (though if I’m being honest with myself, from the moment I saw her walk into Bex’s with her friend), he imagined them spending time together. However, he surprised himself with how domestic most of his fantasies were---cuddling, planning dates together, stealing kisses, holding her hand. Those were the fantasies that made him feel happy. And then there are the less than wholesome fantasies that make me feel like an old lecher.

She rubbed Horace’s head before placing him back on the blanket at her and Zevlor’s feet. “Maybe spending more time together…today?” Beatrice grinned. “With Nadia gone, I have the entire loft to myself. I could give you the grand tour,” Gods, you have the sweetest laugh. “And maybe watch a movie? Sit out on the deck? Whatever you want, Zev.”

Where have you been all my life? All the hardship and heartbreak…the horrors of war…being forced to leave Elturel…starting over in Baldur’s Gate…it’s all led me to you. Reaching for his beer, he sipped as he leaned back and with his other arm, wrapped it around her. “That sounds lovely, darling.”

She grabbed the container of salad and continued to eat. “Don’t worry---I’ll make sure to lock my bedroom door, so we don’t have Horace barging—OH.” Hilariously, she froze, her brown eyes wide. “What I mean is…umm…”

Alright, Zevlor. Let’s see if you still have it.

“As wonderful as Horace is, dear, the only tongue I want near me in your bedroom is yours.” He quipped, sipping his beer and smirking upon seeing her face blush darker than he had ever seen it.

Still got it.

[lucytara]

Okay yeah fine I’ll pop in again and give you an update on how you singlehandledly changed my life with your bees.

Long story short I left an abusive marriage and found my soulmate, found out I was the cat girl the whole time, and now I get piggy back rides from the literal most sunshine I’ve ever had in my life. She makes having allergies worth it. I breathe easier too, after a loooot of therapy(yes touch the sky has been in constant rotation shush). Healing hasn’t been easy. Like at all. But it’s felt a hell of a lot better than I have in years.

It was all because I read WWTWTG and LYSMWS and realized beautiful things that made me feel my own heartbeat in my chest still existed. I discovered pug and cousin first, I will say that, so I was def a Compass and YAM FOG fan as well if that tells you ANYTHING. Yall kept me alive. It feels very strange to admit this to a stranger online that I’ve only ever talked to in passing. But it’s the truth.

Anyway. I’m the one that asked about getting Yang’s line about destruction as a tattoo on ao3. While I’m not going to be getting that one today, I am in fact sitting in the waiting room preparing to get a Blake tattoo to commemorate the show being saved. My artist is also a huge fan. I linked them WWTWTG and the playlist for inspiration, cause we’re adding flowers to gambol shroud.

It’s kind of cathartic actually.

Thanks, sky.

WOW. well this resonates with me actually because i got into rwby when i was with an abusive ex of mine, and it really got me through that period of time and the breakup and etc, so it'll always be really special to me. like i think a lot of what i wrote about with rwby was me in various relationships trying to process love and the things i felt about it, what it was and what it could be. not to get sappy on the dash tonight but yeah, i think it's really amazing how we can sort of find each other and impact each other through art, and i'm honored my fics can do that <3 i feel like i'm just repeating myself but i'm glad you're here and that you're in a better situation now :)

[rollercoasterwords]

In my neighbourhood, there’s this little pink wooden house-on-a-stand sort of thing, with The Free Library written on it. The rule is, take a book, leave a book. My parents don’t like me going there, because then they can’t check if the books are ‘appropriate,’ like they do all my library books. But I go anyway, because of course I do. One day last summer, I went and found two cool-looking books, Lars Iyer’s Wittgenstein Jr., and Eve Zaremba’s Work for a Million. Reading the prior literally sent me into a weeklong philosophical crisis, changed my life in unimaginable ways, and hugely shaped the person I am today, but today I want to talk about the former. Work for a Million.

I’ve had WfoM for almost a year now, but I’ve never really tried to read it, until yesterday. I was bedrotting, sick with writer’s block, surrounded by barely worn clothes, a dozen led pencils, a few empty starbucks bottles, and the sea of thingamabobits that’s spilled from my desk onto my bed. I saw the book on my shelf, and thought, ‘why not?’ So thus I got up to grab it.

Skimming through. It’s a crime novella, about a dyke detective, written in the 1980s. In the introduction, the author touches briefly on what the eighties were like. I, being still very much a teenager, know nothing of the eighties, except of course from marauders fanfiction. 

And then I remembered you, Rae, and your retelling of ATYD. And then I was just struck by the memory of reading it and what a talented writer you were in that.  Granted, it’s been a while since I’ve read anything by you, and frankly I found atwmd to be quite boring, and stopped following after a few chapters. But still, from what I remember, when you write you have this innate ability to just transport the reader into the narrative, and it’s like they experience the story just as the characters do. That’s how I felt, at least. I felt, perhaps stupidly, that I, in a way, experienced pieces of the seventies because of the way you wrote about them. You just create this vibe, that in a moment pulls readers into the story and leaves them dazen and blinking at its end. ‘The fuck just happened?’, they’ll ask each other, palms to their foreheads. ‘Did you feel that too?’

I don’t know if it’s years of practice or just natural talent, but the way you write is something I, as an aspiring writer, really respect and maybe even envy. I think if we knew each other in real life we’d be friends. Or maybe I’d follow you around like an annoying child, I don’t know. This message is more a thank-you than a compliment. Even when I’m older, I think whenever I’m stressed and my copy of Wittgenstein Jr. isn’t on my person, I’ll probably just open up ao3 and start rereading your Summer 1977 to calm myself down. So for that future, thank you. And for the past, the first time I read your writing, thank you. Sincerely, kudos.

-Robert.

emoji representation of me reading this message:

🙂🧐😲🙂😊😧😟😔🤨😕😐🙂🤭😊😌🙂🤗

i appreciate the kind words! glad my take on atyd resonated w u & wishing u all the best w ur own writing etc <3

[magebunkshelf]

hi i really love your content, your voice and the editing and your stories are incredible. i especially love your vampire and mothperson videos. the mothperson videos give me giant/tiny vibes even though i know the mothperson is human sized. would you ever make a giant/tiny audio? i don’t know if you take requests i’m kinda new here but there’s an idea if you’re looking for one. anyway. keep up the amazing work, thank you for sharing your talents with the world. your videos bring a lot of comfort

Aww thank you so much! Really glad you enjoyed them! <3

Firstly I'm very open to hearing requests. I can't ever guarantee I'd ever get to any of them, I don't like making audios that I can't fully get behind conceptually, as in it may be a perfectly fine concept but if I can't see how I'd go about making that idea, I might not get to it. Strictly speaking I don't take requests, but I'm more than happy to hear them out, and if it's something I resonate with then why not

I had a concept ages back about a human speaker finding a tiny fairy listener, but I couldn't figure out a way to make that work in a way I was happy with, so I gave that story to Atonal to write with! I've been trying to find a way to do a good dragon audio but not found a direction I'm quite happy with yet. I don't want to say no, but for now I don't have anything on the horizon that matches what you're looking for, I'm sorry!

[carmenized-onions]

Oh we were fed good today. I obsessively check on this story and was so surprised this morning.

Ya had me crying in my bed like a baby on a Wednesday morning.

Jeez, this chapter was intense. In a fantastic way! Your brain is so big and I am in awe of your talent!

I’m definitely going to reread this whole story and come back with my theories so keep an eye out.

For now let’s hit some quick headlines.

1. Carmey deserves to get a good slap to the back of the neck. Self destruction mode was at a record breaking high.

2. You write guilt and sorrow so well, it genuinely made my stomach hurt. Not to get too personal but I had a friend take their life and the survivors guilt is intense. This chapter brought up some real emotions.

3. Richie x Tony remind me of how you’d defend a sibling in a fight. The way they would both go to war for each other, wow wow wowie wow.

4. Earlier I couldn’t see the Tony x Syd ship but boy can I see it now. Happy pride!!

5. Leaving the number to the chef up to Carmey was devious. I love it.

Love it, love you, hope you have a great day!

It took me. Forever to get to this one thank you FOR WAITINNN

First of all-- If you haven't read Something to Do yet-- PLEASE do babe I WANNA KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS SO BAD I LOVE YOUR BRAIN!!! I LOVE THE WAY YOUR BRAIN INTERACTS WITH MY BRAIN!!! THIS IS US!!!

Anyways. Into the headlines of Just Dropped we go.

Category FIVE LEVEL DESTRUCTION!!! I think I really compacted like a whole kind of like-- Season honestly of Bad Behaviour Carmen into one day and it really did make for the most unstable motherfucker of ALL time

!! I am simultaneously sorry and thankful to hear it resonated-- I think this chapter is very special to me for the way it shows like the three different forms of survivor's guilt and grief-- Like the way Richie/Carmy/Tony held it down VERY differently. And then two outta three of them being able to reconcile over it... It's just very special to me, and I'm both sad and glad we got that sick feeling out of it-- I know you know what I mean. Again. See above photo.

EXACTLY!!! EXACTLY!!! I think those two are very like,,, This is so fucking stupid but they're like everything to each other? Richie and Tony I mean? Like that's my fucking best friend and my dad and also my brother and my road dog and my divorced husband and also my regular husband. They're just kinda? All the stuff. All the stuff, I think. I wish I wrote Carmen getting grand slammed. There's still time ig.

LETS GO WE GOT A SQUID INK CONVERSION BOYS SOUND THE ALARM!!!! They were awful cute, in this chapter. They're cute in every chapter but like-- Ah. Syd grabs Tony's face so much. Twice but like. That's like so much. I love em.

I HADDD TOOOOO, I think as unpetty as Tony was trying to be, that was her one that she got to have. Like she earned that. And it's a good litmus test! You gonna let yourself get fuckin cucked carmy come on!!!! sock that fuckin guy!!!

LOVED THIS love you HOPE YOU'VE HAD A GOOD COUPLE WEEKS SINCE SENDING THIS AGAIN SORRY IM LATEEE

[rudystree]

Thank God there are more people like you here. When I found your page I scrolled for hours and I was at peace. It is so refreshing to see Rudy's fans not hating on him, like others that calls themselves fans. I am fan of this show for almost 3 years, I still remember the first day I watched it and from that day jj was my favourite. Not only him but Rudy. You know when you feel so happy to see that person posted, to watch every interview of him and so. I then found about elaine and till this day I am following her, fell in love with her page, her photography and her love and support for Rudy. Then I saw people hating on her, wondered why and the searched a little bit abou it. And let me tell you there are some sick dumb people here. To do everything and try to destory his happiness?...

Then the rumors started about him leaving and man I don't blame him. I hate that jj died and s5 is not gonna be same, we would probbably have flashbacks but I can't stop thinking about all of the things he was supossed to expirience and do. He is doing such a good job in obx, his performance chef kiss. And after this I was like okayy didn't expect that but you know, juat one more season. Thank God it's not more season, cuz then I would be done. Anyway I am getting away from my point and sorry cuz this is soooo long. I just have to tell my thoughts, cuz you seem like a such a sweet person that understands what is happening.

I didn't think the "fans" would be THAT mad. I understand being sad and angry, I am still not over it. But calling rudy unprofessional? Like what. No one knows anythiiing what is happeing in his or others lives. Are they that bored to make stupid rumors. They got to that point that eveey second fp about rudy/jj is saying like omg he used stunt, omg he is so unprofessional, he can't leave his private life bla bla. Just stop. It got to another point where people are unffollowing obx page, making petition for rudy to get back and leaving hate comments on his posts. Whay do they think it's his fault, he did his job, he played jj for 4 years and that is how it was supossed to be. He was supossed to be dead weater we like it or not. He did soooo many good movies. Like so many people he worked with are always telling best about him. Everyome from obx always said only beautiful things about him, eveeytime someone talks about him I just think how he feels knowing this many people support him. This many people love what he creates and he did it. He did it. I will always support rudy even if there is no more obx. I watched every film besides obx with him just cuz I love him as a person. He really is something else. Maybe season4 coulve gone happier way but there is no reason to hate on him cuz he didn't anything. He did his part. I was waiting for his post but even if he doesn't post anything I think everyone would understand why. I know people are proud of him, he made it so far and he won in life. I will gladly support every other project of him. If people hate him so much then just scroll away, don't follow him and don't comment. Your page brings me peace from all of the hate outside. Thank you.

(And I am so so sorry for how long rhis is I din't mean to I just wrote everything I was feeling I guess. Tottaly gone thru a hundred situations in this paragraph ahahah.)

We stan Rudy 🤟

Don’t apologise!! I love these long messages and agree with absolutely everything you said. And I’m really happy that my lil blog is a happy space for other (genuine) Rudy fans! ❤️‍🩹

I am glad that so many people are angry. They should be, I know I am. I hope that the reaction resonates with Netflix and the writers. Unfortunately, a big chunk of this fandom is extremely immature (and borderline sociopathic) as demonstrated in all the past years. So much of the anger is completely misdirected, ironically at the actor who is actually the victim of all this bullshit. He just wants to protect himself and his loved ones from this crazy mob mentality, a toxic work environment and from being held hostage by restrictive contracts that don’t let him explore other projects. I completely get it and support him 100%.