#Anyway it’s late I need to go to bed goodnight!!
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Looking back at all the palette swaps I’ve done and AGHHH I WANNA DO THEM AGAIN……SHAKES MY FISTS
#Shima speaks#I JUST opened requests for a ship meme otherwise I’d do it!! I’d do palette swaps!!#I’ll do them again really soon#Gotta draw lots of kisses first. It is required <3#Anyway I had a rough day and just now realized today is my OP anniversary……oops tee hee#I’ll have to celebrate tomorrow. With a sappy post and everything#Anyway it’s late I need to go to bed goodnight!!
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Ooh ooh oh espir e1 ?
Ok so here’s the requested + the one I chose bc I really wanted to do this fit w Shi. As you can see I’m very normal about them. They’re so. So.
(Also this is technically Espír’s public debut so I hope this gets ppl excited for whenever I finally finish the GRN refs LMAO)
#YLW n GRN#drawlings#asks#hi#I’m going insane#I love their mentally ill yaouri (? they’re all non-binary and none of them are exclusively women or men. is there a word for this already)#anyways this took me a couple days and a couple late nights<3 I love the#m#smoking tw#smoking cw#also the lighting was a bitch for this one I was trying to practice on this and boy. I do not know what I’m doing<3#but ough#Christ Alive I need to go to fucking bed. goodnight#love you btw Heartie you’ve always got my back MWAH#ok gn for real
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i think. i am going to take a day off work
#preferably two#but more realistically it’ll end up being one and maybe coming in late on another#i’m just UNBELIEVABLY stressed and at the end of my rope and i am not being supported in critical ways#i really really need time to recoup my brain… i can’t think coherently. i can’t act coherently. i can’t.#my body and brain are actively at war with each other and it’s GREAT#i am seriously going to look back on this part of my life and think i was insane#but also hopefully be impressed with my own strength#i hope it’s worth it#i know it’ll get better#but as it is my brain is alternating between suggested quitting on the spot and [redacted] so like.#SOMETHING has to give here#and i’d much rather be in control of what that something is if at all possible#ANYWAY… i’m going to bed#at 9pm#Goodnight
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#periodical life updates#working on the selfship blog is just like. okay i will work on this after this semester. okay i will work on this after artfight prep.#i will work on this after artfight. i will work on this after i finish this collab. after i finish this fic. this project. this comic.#oh look at that next semester is starting up.#full plate after full plate and no room for dessert. but i love having projects. i wish i could do them all. i wish i could do everything.#selfship blog is one of many things; but its also one of my most self-indulgent projects. which means that it brings me overwhelming joy-#but its also always set to the backburner. i have a lot of other projects i need to do. silly little f/o time will have to wait.#its such a problem with my energy spending. i /know/ i have low spoons all the time; i have to utilize them better.#that selfship animatic idea is cute but ultimately lacks precedence compared to school or chores or socialization or other projects#i cant bring myself to raise that priority level with so much else on my list. sighs. woe and alas.#selfship blog is lookin cute though <3 i still dont have the colors quite visible yet but i love the ''at agent's bar'' vibes going on#anyway its really late/early. i should get to bed. i have a lot to do since i didnt manage my time very well.#college work and this project and that other project. wish i could do it all.#goodnight i love you <33
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and this is also the reason why Greg was different from all the other men that Rose seemed to have been with prior to Greg (Pearl sings about it in "It's over, isn't it")
I don't think Rose ever meant to be condescending and hurtful, she genuinely believed that this is how it worked, and no one had ever called her out on it until Greg.
Greg called her out on it, made her realize that how she had been acting wasn't right. The "other men" Rose had been with only stayed for a short while, according to Pearl, and likely left specifically because Rose was so condescending. Whether or not they actually called her out is unconfirmed, but seeing how shocked Rose is when Greg finally does, i doubt it.
Greg changed Rose, pulling her out of this game she thought she was playing, and brought her into the real world.
You know, i do wonder sometimes... Did Rose know she would disappear when she decided to have a baby with Greg? Steven is the first gem/human hybrid, but they obv figured it out later on (in "a single pale rose" Pearl was having a breakdown over Rose disappearing when Steven will have been born)
But the thing is... was this really unavoidable? Or was this also a conscious decision made by Rose? Could she have given birth to a human child without disappearing? Did she really choose to disappear and pass on her gem, or was it really inevitable?
In Future, it's pretty much confirmed, that a gems actual gem is the only part of them that's "real", in a sense. Maybe it really was inevitable.
But that also brings up the new question of why Rose decided to have a baby and to disappear forever. In the finale, when White Diamond tore Stevens gem out of his body, we see the gem go through its different forms: first Pink Diamond, then Rose Quartz and finally Steven. The way the gem went through these forms is peculiar though, almost as if it's a little confused. Pink Diamond was its original form, but that wasn't right. It was Rose Quartz for a long time, but that wasn't either. Then, it became Pink Steven. That's the form that was right. The gem may hold the memories of Pink Diamond and Rose Quartz, but it was no longer either of those people.
Both Pink and Rose were really, truly, gone.
We're told that when a gem is shattered, it ceases to be, but the gem mutants and the cluster are comprised of many gems shards. And in Future, we also see Yellow Diamond reversing her experiments, just putting the broken gems back together, and it works (well, more or less, but all diamonds + Steven can literally heal broken gems, as seen with Jasper in Future, although the diamonds and gem society at large may not have known it was possible at all). So not even shattering a gem can really kill one forever, it seems.
The only gem that truly disappeared was Rose, and she did that becoming something else. Not a gem, but part of another being. Half gem, half human, all Steven.
Rose was pulled out of this game she thought she was playing with humans, thrown into the real world, and decided to... disappear via baby? I'm genuinely curious what her thought process was. Did she think this was the only way to make up for her behaviour or something? To just... disappear?
Or maybe she realized that this was the only way to truly kill Pink Diamond. Rose was Pink. She faked her shattering, her death, but in her behaviour, her internalized role, she still embodied Pink. Perhaps she thought that the only way to truly change was to become someone else, someone and something entirely new. In one of the flashback episodes, Rose admired the humans' power to change, unaware that gems had the same power. She probably of herself as completely unable of change, only ever able to see "Rose Quartz" as a costume she was wearing, someone she was pretending to be, instead of someone she actually was.
She admired this power to change so much, she wanted to be part of something that had this power, even if it meant that she would finally, truly, disappear. Forever.
Her gem was inherited by Steven. His gem has some of Roses and Pinks memories, but even those can only be triggered if he sleeps in places where Pink herself actually was (every single one of his Pink flashbacks only occur when he sleeps, either as himself or as a fusion). And also notice how Steven only ever has flashbacks as Pink Diamond and never as Rose Quartz? I've watched the show several times over the years and i cannot, for the life of me, remember even a single one where he had a flashback as Rose and not Pink, which is only further evidence that Pink saw Rose as more of a costume instead of a real person that she was.
When Greg called out Rose, I think he gave her a serious wake-up call. She realized that even though her surroundings changed, she herself did not. But humans had the power to change, so in order to change, she figured she would have to become part human, and disappear along the way.
And she did.
Rose was gone.
Pink was gone.
Their gem wasn't broken and couldn't be put back together.
The gem was intact, but it is part of someone else now.
No longer Rose.
No longer Pink.
Just Steven.
That. Right there. A pivotal moment for Rose (upon second viewing), re-contextualizing how she’s been treating those around her exactly like the other Diamonds treated her. She had fled from it, but she’d internalized her role. Loving but condescending and hurtful all the same. She had known no other way, until someone, Greg, finally treated her as an equal.
#I'm rambling#pretty sure I repeated myself like 3 times in this post but it's late and i need to go to bed#anyway goodnight#su#steven universe
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IM FINALLY DONE.
#num speaks#im pretty sure i contradicted myself a bunch in that last paragraph. um. not good!#but also give me a break. its 4 am.... and all ive done is work lately...#ill probs go over it tmrw#or not.#why should i care.#(i mean i should its my grade but im also too tired.)#ANYWAY#still not officially free bc i have my group presentation and photography assignment coming up#um. BOOOOO#also for photography i just need to take pictures so it shouldnt be too bad hopefully..?#im not doing SHIT tomorrow though#sunday exists for a reason#im so happy though... i finally fucking did it.....#now i can draw </3 and have fun </3 hopefully </3#but rn my only focus is to go to bed. i have a massive headache.#GOODNIGHT EVERYONE I AM OUTTA HERE
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hiiiii guys !! im so sorry i didnt post much today i had a lot to do around the house and i didnt have much time to make new content and theorys 😅😅 anyway i promise that ill post more soon ! sorry to keep you guys waiting i promise ill post more soon ahaha
#viz rambles#sorry didnt think i was busy today#i know i promised more theorys today so im so sorry i couldnt do that#i promise i havent abandoned yall im still obsessed ahaha#ive got so many theorys to share but i gotta rewatch to make sure the facts !#ok i need to go to bed now bc its getting super late but i promise ill post more sorry ahaha#well see maybe ill get stuck scrolling in bed again#if you send an ask soon ill probably respond!#i think i have notifs set up right so yea#might be good to test it :P#anyway actually goodnight now i think im falling asleep hehe#byebye !!
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I've spent the past couple weeks or so trying to force myself to focus on a couple original works I'm genuinely very excited for, things that I think might be worth sending to a publisher someday, determined not to let myself get too distracted by anything else....
....Which is, of course, to say that I got home from work today, sat down, and spent 5+ hours writing self-indulgent Tron/OC fanfiction instead, without stopping, until a minute ago when I realized I was hungry and looked at my phone and saw it was already bedtime 😐
#anyway the moral of that story is you should listen to your muses. or they will MAKE you listen. orz#also uhh hey whats up tronblr. i know youre out there. youre always out there. gonna have a little gift for yall soon#sorry its about 14 years too late i hope you can forgive me#technically its a rehash of a fic i wrote all those years ago after i first saw Legacy. trust me its a much better version this time around#trust me youll appreciate the delay. it wasnt done cooking yet. but i think now its just right#also i said its for tron but dont worry#rinzler gets some lovin' too eventually#and maybe whoever they become after that will to. who's to say.#anyway good GOD i gotta go eat dinner and go to bed goodnight friends#my writing#i need a tag for this oc but ill think of one when ive slept lmao GOODNIGHT
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Do you ever just
*vibing*
Then
"oH SHIT I FORGOT TO TAKE MY MEDS FUCK FUCK FUCK---" *sprinting to meds*
#sleep needed#i need to sleep#why is it that when i type “i need to” in this the autocomplete options are 80% related to eating disorders#are you guys okay#you know we're gonna die soon right#none of this matters#literally just eat what you want#live your best life#it doesnt matter#nothing matters so do whatever the fuck you want#anyways goodnight moots im gonna go to bed cause i stayed up way too late
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,
#the harder i swim the faster i fucking sink#i actually tried my best to like. do something today. went to my sport practice that ive been skipping for weeks#and it sucked and i didnt like it and the girls there all ignored me (obviously because im never fucking there)#and i had to train with this tiny fucking annoying kid who kept walking away and leaving me alone#so i couldnt fucking do anything#and now im home and my entire body hurts and my mum told me to go away and im just. fuck !!#i KNOW its late and im just tired but dude im tired of my entire fucking life#i tried to pick out nice clothes today to help me feel better (bc i had been scrolling pinterest and was feeling so inspired)#but that just made me miserable <3 because im not a fucking pinterest girl and my closet is just random shit#not some fucking. aesthetic . and i never own the clothes that i wanna wear at that moment but i also can never find things i love in stores#and i cant believe im complaining about something as mundane as this i just. feel like shit rn#tried to do some painting and it didnt work bc i had zero inspiration and everything i made looked ugly as hell! so that was fun#i fucking. need to change something up. cut my hair weed out my closet change my room. because i am feeling sooo stuck in this life#first tho. i will go to bed#because of course i have fucking work tomorrow. i cant WAIT until april when i can finally stop at this fucking job#(well i say can. they fired me <3 but who cares i wanted to quit anyway)#this has been. a long rant. oops#i just hate that so often when i try to make a positive change it just . fucking sucks#but what can i do about it. not much!#goodnight anyone who read all this i'm sorry#sas.txt
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༉‧₊˚🕯️❀༉‧₊˚. "the craving"༉‧₊˚🤍❀༉‧₊˚. PART 1
Read Part 2 here 🤍
pairing: Jacaerys Velaryon x fem!Reader
words: 6300
summary: after a long day of scouting together, your betrothed Jacaerys and you are forced to seek shelter at an inn when a storm is raging outside. The only "problem"; there is only one, tiny bed for the two of you.
warnings: sexual tension, they're both virgins, but the Targaryen ancestors wrote a kamasutra for future generations and Jace has read it ;) , only one bed trope, cuddling/spooning, sexual content (making out, vaginal fingering, a little bit of dirty talk from Jace), aftercare
a/n: I had a lot of fun writing this story and it's my longest one for Jace so far, hope you like it! <3 I also have some ideas for a potential part 2 👀....
𐙚𓏲⋆ ִֶָ ๋𓂃
It was a rare occurrence for you, being chosen by the Queen to scout for the day, patrolling the sky and the lands underneath it from a safe distance.
You were a princess of Dragonstone, but you were also a dragonrider, even if you were still young and an honor like this filled you with undeniable pride.
It was an even rarer occurrence that she allowed Jacaerys to join you.
Your recent betrothal to the prince had been a blessing, making your strong bond of friendship weave itself only tighter, but it also had brought up feelings you'd thought you simply could've brushed aside before.
Jace had gotten more...protective of you, more tender and you could not help but feel yourself being drawn to him too, longing for the mornings spent together at breakfast after saying goodnight to each other on your doorstep the night before.
Of course, there were rules, things to do when courting and things to avoid, such as sharing a room before marriage and the things that could happen in said room…
But you were never the one to follow rules lightly and weren't you going to be married anyways? All you needed was a little push until you'd surrender your heart and your body to Jacaerys...
And somehow, you had a feeling you weren't alone with these forbidden desires.
Today had been mostly spent in the sky, flying together as if you had never done something else. You were a unit, always knowing where the other was and what they did and it seemed like your dragons were delighted as well by the recent development of your planned union.
You couldn't help but laugh with the wind when they playfully snapped at each other, both making little besotted growls from time to time, like Jace and you were interrupting a date.
Everything would've been alright if the storm hadn't moved into your direction.
It was getting darker and darker and both of you couldn't make your dragons move any faster, since they were young just as you and Jace were. Situations like this couldn't exactly be trained beforehand.
When the rain hit you, your mood dropped instantly.
"It's getting late!" You heard Jacaerys' familiar voice calling over to you through the wind and rain. "The weather isn't going to get any better and we are too far away from Dragonstone to make it back before midnight. We have to find a place to spend the night, it's no use."
You knew he could see the frustration on your face, worrying what your people back in the safety of Dragonstone's walls would think if the future of a more hopeful realm did not return as punctually as expected.
"She's going to be worried out of your mind for you." You called back, but the rain in front of you was blurring your vision and you kept pushing your hair out of your face.
Vermax let out a displeased growl as thunder rolled through the clouds. Jace squinted his eyes to make you out next to him, the storm getting stronger and stronger by the minute. "I'm not going to let us get struck by lightning! There's a merchant route right under us, if I remember it right. We land, now."
You reluctantly tugged the reigns of your dragon tighter around your fists and steered her down, following Jace and Vermax through the clouds as they descended. You couldn't argue with him, but a stop in an unknown region was risky. Even if you two were in the company of your dragons.
By the time you had landed in a clearing of the forest Jace had spotted from up above, your clothes were dripping wet on the ground.
Climbing down your dragon's back, you couldn't help but snort as Vermax immediately seeked shelter underneath the massive pine trees from the weather, his rider fondly shaking his head at his companion.
As you approached, Jace sighed and squinted up into the sky above you. "I know you dislike this, as I do. But I'm not taking a risk. It's better to wait the night instead of getting attacked in a thunderstorm, don't you agree?"
"Yes…" You looked at him, still a little conflicted. "But we can only hope our people at Dragonstone agree with you as well."
Jace smiled at you, raising both his hands in defense. Like this, eyes bright and wet hair curling around his already beautiful face, he was a vision, making you permanently weak in the knees. "They will agree, because I am protecting the princess, my betrothed, as you are protecting yours."
Yours.
You involuntarily shuddered, the promise of being married to him one day never tiring of sending lightning through you.
While you understood the Queen's choice to wait with marrying you because of the war, you were growing tired of being denied what you craved so badly; not the ring on your finger - a beautiful thing you knew Jace had already commissioned to being forged, one of Vermax' scales sitting in its silver center - but the boy you were dreaming about at night, visiting you in the quietness of Dragonstone, sliding underneath your warm covers to-
"Everything alright?" Jace had stepped to your side, one hand on your shoulder.
You nodded, swallowing thickly. "We should stop and rest at the first place we can find."
The traveler's road was empty and no one noticed the two of you stepping out of the forest and making your way over to the first building you saw, a small inn with its windows alight from the inside.
You shivered at the thought of a warm fire and wrinkled your nose at your clammy leathers. On top of it, your belly growled and Jacaerys and you shared a look.
A little smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "Don't worry, I'll find you something to eat even if I have to hunt it myself tonight."
You blushed, his words always managing to touch something deep within you.
Jace and you entered the inn, immediately enveloped by its delicious warmth and sociability. As Prince and Princess, you were not used to a civility like this and for a moment, you wondered what it'd be like to live like this, leading a simple life with Jace where no one would know you and you could do whatever you pleased. What a dangerous thought this was...
Just before you and him reached the small reception counter of the inn, Jace placed one of his gloved hands on your lower back, a secure and telling gesture that made your skin underneath the riding leathers burn pleasantly.
"Good evening." He spoke confidently. "My wife and I are looking for a place to stay for the night. The storm has caught us off guard on the road."
The innkeeper looked at you and although you knew he didn't want to hear it, you silently said a prayer of gratitude for Jace's beautiful dark hair and eyes. If he'd have silver hair, all could be lost, depending on the opinion of the inn's staff on this ongoing war.
You tugged your cloak tighter around you, hiding the riding leathers on your body, and looked back calmly. You forced your bottom lip to wobble as if you only now remembered the cold haunting your bones. How fast could you make your way back to the forest and your dragons before the whole house was up on their feet for two Targaryens in its midst?
"It caught us off guard alright as well, good sir." The innkeeper said goodnaturedly after a moment and you sighed on the inside. "The taproom is bursting at the seams tonight. I can only offer a single room, but I'm sure it's no problem for two young lovebirds like you. Dinner will be served for you, too, if you require it."
Jace swallowed thickly, not meeting your gaze at the prospect of a tiny room for the two of you.
So far, your betrothal had consisted of courting each other quietly and sweetly, the long promised wedding pushed back again and again, much to your frustration. To share a room with Jace before you were married - it sent a shiver down your spine and you couldn't say it was a bad one.
"We require it. And thank you for the room. We will pay in advance, of course." Jace produced a small sack of coins from his cloak and you stepped aside and peeked into the full taproom, trying to calm your racing heart.
When he was done, Jacaerys stepped up to you and smiled encouragingly, although you could see through him instantly and saw the same nervousness possessing you. This was no place for you two and yet here you were.
"Dinner, my lady?" Jace asked under his breath and with a snort, you let yourself be led into the taproom, carefully avoiding any curious eyes on you as you found a quiet corner in the far back where hopefully no one would disturb you or have questions.
Quickly, two plates with bread, cheese and tomatoes were brought to your table and Jacaerys and you began to eat, tense in your wariness for your surroundings but comfortable in each other's presence.
He politely declined the waitress's offer of beer, but made her bring you a pitcher of clear water, the day spent underneath the sun having dried out your bodies like nothing else.
After a while - you were still munching on your bread and Jace looked about to be finished - he took a few of his tomatoes and placed them on your plate, a silent encouragement.
"Thank you." You said quietly and ate them too while he kept watch, over you and the room behind you. But in all the hustle going on in there, no one had time or interest for a young couple on the road and soon, your plates were empty and you retreated upstairs and down the narrow corridor.
The last door was yours.
Your eyes widened shortly as you took in your room for the night. There was a window where rain splattered against the glass, a small table with a chair and a bed, although it could barely be called that if you thought of your enormous bed at Dragonstone.
Beside you, you could feel Jace pausing as he locked the door, his eyes darting back and forth between you and the tiny bed in the corner of the room. If only one of you could fit, it'd be a miracle and the floor was in no condition to be slept on.
You took off your cloak and threw it over the chair, opening your mouth to speak just as Jace did.
"I'm taking the floor." He declared and you wanted to roll your eyes and also kiss him for his selflessness.
"You will not sleep on this floor, Jace." You argued and as you wrung out your damp hair, the last droplets of water fell onto the boards, blooming in the dust covering them.
Jace stayed silent for a moment, wrapping a cloth from within his cloak around the doorknob and tying a tight knot, so you wouldn't be disturbed by any unpleasant visitors tonight.
"Please don't be ridiculous now." You tried again, softer this time. "You had a long flight today, too. We slept side by side when we were kids sometimes, remember? We'd fall asleep in the gardens of King's Landing while we watched the clouds, dreaming of riding our dragons someday."
"But we are not kids anymore." Jacaerys said quietly.
No, you weren't.
And as you looked at him, reaching behind himself to unclasp his cloak, his dark curls still framing his serious face, you knew there was not an ounce of childlike innocence in you when it came to him.
"And I-" He interrupted himself as his cloak joined yours on the chair and you did not step back, only shuffling closer to rest your hand on his nape.
What had gotten into you? This boldness, it was dangerous and misplaced and- very much exciting.
Jace slowly looked at you, his dark eyes like burning embers, bringing the heat to your cheek you so desperately needed.
"I'm afraid I cannot control myself around you, princess." He confessed hoarsely and for a moment you thought the wooden floor underneath you had turned into water and you were trying to dance on top of it, unsteady.
You exhaled shakingly, tongue tied in your shock at his confession, but a burning heat swirling pleased in your stomach.
After a moment, he forced himself to tear himself away from you and cleared his throat. "I mean this in the most chivalrous manner, but I think we should take off our leathers if we don't want to be sick in two days."
You agreed and the two of you turned away from each other, the spell broken.
You faced the wall by the bed as you reached behind yourself, your fingers fumbling with the laces of your uniform. Whoever had invented dragonrider clothes had not intended them to be taken off without the help of half a dozen maids.
Your movements were clumsy and unpracticed, used to getting attended to by your maids for these kinds of things, preferably followed by a hot bath after a long flight.
But now, you were helpless and frustration grew quickly in you until you tilted your head back and let out a tired sigh.
"Jace?" You spoke over your shoulder and heard shuffling.
"Yes?"
"I...I can't take them off myself." You admitted, risking a look behind you to see his leather uniform draped over the table, only thin linen pants and a matching top remaining on him. You had never seen him like this, never could've imagined what was laying underneath his princely attires. He looked...innocent, like a boy with big eyes as he watched you. Biting your lip, you added: "Could you help me, at least with my laces?"
"Of course." He breathed and stepped closer as you turned around again, holding yourself completely still as you felt his warmth radiating against your back.
Suddenly, his hand was in your hair, brushing in awe over the wavy strands. "Can I…"
"Yes." You breathed, your nerves fluttering. "Please."
You shuddered as he carefully brushed your hair over your shoulder, exposing your tightly laced back to him.
Then, with surprisingly skillful fingers, he began to swiftly unlace you, his hands dancing over your spine and making their way down your back.
You were sure neither of you was breathing, your mind growing a bit foggy as you let him attend you like this, the task of a maid replaced by the care of your betrothed.
"All done." He whispered after a while and you were snapped out of your dreamy thoughts. You could already breathe more lightly as the riding leather dangled down on your sides, the front only held up now by your hands on your chest.
"Thank you." You whispered back. What would happen if you turned around now and faced him? Were you too far gone already or would you be able to remember yourself before it was too late?
"I'll light some candles and I...I won't look." Jace said flustered and turned away again, giving you as much privacy as he could as he busied himself with the unlit candles by the table.
Quickly, you slid out of the rest of your uniform until only the thin dress you wore underneath remained. With only these undergarments on you, you almost tripped as you slipped under the covers of the bed and pulled them all up to your chin.
The cold rushed back into you tenfold and you pressed your lips together to keep your teeth from clattering.
Silently, you watched as Jace lit the last candle and checked the doorknob for one last time to make sure you were safe for the night.
When there was nothing to be done about the state of the room anymore, he met your gaze and asked one more time: "Are you sure?"
I'm afraid I cannot control myself around you…
You nodded, shuffling to the wall as far as you could. There was barely space left for another person, even like this. "Yes. We both need rest."
It seemed like your shivering only intensified as you felt his weight dip on the mattress, joining you as carefully as he could without bumping his knee into your side.
When he was settled, on his slim back while you laid on your side, facing away from him to hide your burning face, he drew the blanket over the two of you, trapping you in for a tight fit and combined warmth, hopefully.
The silence in the room was thick, loaded by something you could not name yet.
"Try to sleep." Jace whispered to you in the darkness. "Tomorrow, at sunrise, we'll take flight."
You tried your best, you really did.
But there was no use, not when he was laying so close to you. You were too aware of him, too overstimulated by the mere thought of his body so close to yours, his body heat radiating off of him while you still missed your own.
You were sure the whole mattress was shaking with your quivering, your lips blue and limbs clammy from the cold that had soaked into you on dragonback. Squeezing your eyes shut, you prayed for a slumber that wouldn't come.
Jacaerys couldn't bear it anymore.
Seeing you, feeling you shiver so pitifully, he had to put an end to it. It was what a good husband would do.
"Princess…" He whispered into the darkness and you tensed. "You're freezing. If you'd let me...I want to help."
"Help?" You echoed, looking over your shoulder. Like this, you could only make out his eyes in the dark, his silhouette tempting and comforting at once.
Jace swallowed thickly, shuffling until he laid on his side and could support his head with his hand. "If we'd be...closer, I could warm you."
Your heart skipped a beat at his suggestion, his boldness surprising both you and himself. As scandalous as it was, you already felt yourself drawn to him, your cold bones screaming yes, yes, yes.
"If I won't inconvenience you." You murmured shyly. "I'm shaking like a leaf."
"I'll do my best to change that." Jace promised dutifully, darkly, and shuffled even closer.
Now, you were sure your heart was going to give out.
Underneath the blanket you shared, Jace pulled you to him, his arm sneaking around your waist as your back met his chest.
You sighed, a small sound of relief as the warmth of him enveloped you and you could feel it also leaving his chest, as if you were two pieces melting together into one.
It was a lover's embrace, there was no doubt about it, but the line between you had already been blurred tonight, ever since he had called you his wife downstairs.
It should've surprised you more, how well your bodies fitted together, how natural the curve of your spine found its place against his lean torso. With his arm securely around you, making sure you'd stay connected, you were not sure if you could not breathe anymore or were finally able to.
"Is this good?" He asked you quietly after some time, your heads now sharing a pillow, a space, an embrace.
No. You needed more.
"Yeah...you are really warm." You breathed out and he chuckled and gods, you could feel the sound against you and thought nothing about this was real, not the inn, not tonight, certainly not him.
You shifted in his embrace, trying to get a little more comfortable when he suddenly let out a low hiss, your bum brushing against-
Oh.
Oh.
You wanted to combust.
You wanted to turn around and kiss him stupid. You wanted to do everything and yet, you were frozen in place, hotness rushing through you at the thought that your prince had gotten aroused while he laid with you like this.
"'m sorry…" He whispered near your ear and in front of your inner eye, you saw his eyes closing in defeat, having given in so quickly to his carnal desires.
You were about to be a very bad betrothed.
Innocently, you moved back against him and he choked on his breath, his mouth now hovering over your nape, the damp hair you wished to be out of your way now to feel him better.
Your hand rested on his forearm around you and you traveled your fingertips upwards, brushing over his knuckles until you could entwine your fingers, squeezing him reassuringly.
"Princess...we can't." You wanted to chuckle at his unconvinced tone, an unfamiliar strain to his voice like he was trying his best and most to hold himself back from giving in to you.
"We can." You whispered back, kissing his hand in yours and hearing him sigh behind you. "I want you so badly, I feel like I'm dying."
It was too much, to hear those same words he only dared to think in his mind, it shattered the last bit of self control Jacaerys could muster up. He had been aroused ever since he helped you undress, the dreams that usually had him waking up in a sweat in his chambers at Dragonstone now coming true right in front of him.
"Please, Jace." You added with a sigh, pushing back against him. "Give in, please."
He surged forward, his lips making contact with your neck and setting you aflame.
You let out a low moan, the sight of the wall disappearing in front of you as you closed your eyes blissfully, focused only on the feel of Jacaerys lapping at your neck.
It was like he tasted something exquisite and unique, taking his time as he brushed your hair aside, his other hand delicately holding your jaw as he suckled the sensitive spot underneath your ear, making you twitch back in surprise against the outline of his hard cock.
He stifled a groan, something final snapping in him and he turned your head, his finger swiping over your chin and cheek as you both stared at each other, pupils gone wide and dark with desire.
"May I kiss you?" He asked huskily and you nodded quickly, your hand finding its way into his curls, tugging him closer until his hot breath grazed your bottom lip.
"Yes." You let out breathlessly. "Kiss me, please, I-"
He closed the distance between you, engulfing your mouth in a hot, desperate kiss, both of your lust and longing for each other too grand to think clearly anymore.
Still gently holding your jaw and you in his arms, he kissed you passionately, his lips moving slow and relishing against yours. You sighed happily against him, your fingers tightening their hold on his curls and making him groan, his free hand spreading itself out on your stomach.
Heat sloshed through you as your tongues danced, the kiss so much more than what you'd ever could've dreamed of. You never wanted to stop again.
His embrace was possessive, with not much room for you to do anything else but give yourself over to him, caged between the wall and his lean body.
You wanted to drown in his kisses, never to be seen again.
When the air in your lungs got thinner, making you lightheaded, the two of you pulled apart, panting and staring at each other with kiss-bruised lips.
Your hand fell over his own on your stomach, the fabric of your undergarment dress worthy to you of being burned in the heat of the moment.
"Can I touch you?" Jace gasped into your ear, almost a plea.
You nodded frantically, but he shook his head, his curls brushing against your cheek. "I need to hear it from you, love."
Gods, you were truly going to die by his tender hands.
"Yes…" You hissed, your mind already drunk on him. "I want you to touch me, Jace, I need it so badly."
You ground your bum back against him and Jace released a moan, the sound going right into your core, where wetness was pooling between your thighs and making a mess of you.
He peppered kisses on your cheek and jaw, relishing the way your back arched against him as his hand dove underneath the blanket and fumbled with the seams of your gown, tugging up the fabric as he went.
His hand slid over your naked leg, the skin still a little cold and covered in goosebumps he hoped were his doing. Up and up he went and you were panting by now, mind and body controlled by arousal for him, just for him.
Resting a gentle hand on your inner thigh, he spread your legs open, just a little, and kissed you once again, so he could feel the exact moment you'd-
"Ah-" You gasped in his mouth as his fingertips touched your clit and it shouldn't have been enough, you wanted so much more, but you already felt like you were able to find release from just this.
"Gods, you're driving me insane." He groaned, burying his face in your neck and suckling on it as he slowly began to rub circles onto you, his hand dipping down further to gather more of your wetness on his fingers.
You shuddered at the sensation of his hand between your legs and then you keened as he obscenely spread your own juices over your clit, swirling his finger over the aching bundle of nerves.
"Fuck…" You whispered, your mouth falling open as he started a careful rhythm, letting you adjust to the sensation of having your clit pampered like this, easy circles and slight rubs.
Laying on your side only seemed to heighten your senses.
Your quivering legs tangled, bodies firmly pressed together, his hands around you like vines protecting a precious secret. You did not know anymore if you were tense or melting as he played with you, experimenting with the direction his fingers could go, gently tapping against your sensitive flesh which made you see stars...
And of course, your thighs - becoming sticky with your own juices, his finger being joined by another one and carefully massaging your most intimate part. With every round they went on you, your grasp on control slipped a little more and soon, you were a writhing mess, bucking your hips against Jace's hand as he continued to kiss your neck and relished the delicious little sounds you made because of him.
"You're so wet." He murmured, in awe of you and your body and you moaned, slumping against his back as he gently plucked on your clit, shiver after shiver running through you and ruining you. "I only dreamed of you like this, princess. You are a sight to behold."
You wanted to say something, anything, but it seemed like your brain had melted, mewling as he cupped your whole core and slowly shook his hand, the friction intensifying only more as vibrations were sent through your pussy.
"Where did you learn all this?" You asked breathlessly and he chuckled, blushing and nuzzling your sweaty neck lovingly as he dipped his fingers lower, almost where you needed him the most.
"The library at Dragonstone can be very...educational. On many different topics." He murmured melodically and you were still, awaiting, as he pushed your undergarments up more, his hand drifting up over your stomach and towards your chest. "Some of the books our ancestors kept there are very...interesting to read. Diaries of fiery encounters and instructions on love making. I had to resist taking notes when I read some of those passages, on how to please women when I could only picture you in my head."
A guttural, broken moan left you when he mouthed at your neck, licking over your exposed throat.
It distracted you just enough that he nearly sent you into an early release as his wet, glistening thumb circled around one of your rosy buds before he raised the same finger to his lips and had a taste.
You both groaned in union, your thighs squeezing together as you stared at him, his own eyes closed in bliss at the taste of you. Just as he had imagined…like honeydew.
He slid his hand underneath your neck so you could rest your head on his strong arm, the same hand coming down to cup one of your aching tits. Like in everything else; you were perfect for each other here. His hand had just the right size for you.
You eagerly spread your legs again as his other hand snaked down your body again, both his and your remaining clothes drenched by sweat, the room smelling of sex.
"I'm dying to know how you feel around my fingers, princess." He confessed and you bit your lip, trying to fight the urge to cross your eyes as his fingers ghosted over your wet clit again; and losing. "Can I? Can I have you like this, my love?"
What a dirty tongue your betrothed had…
If your mind had been any clearer and not as fucked out, you would've asked him if he also learned that in his books, but that was a conversation for another day.
"Yes." You gasped instead, bucking once again against his hand over you, cupping your core and squeezing your clit between two of his digits, making you moan brokenly. "Please, Jace, I need you to fuck me, please, fuck me-"
You knew he couldn't, you both couldn't, at least this much of both your composures remained. But there were other ways to find release and apparently, your sweet betrothed was an expert at executing them.
He raised himself a little, peeking over your shoulder so he could look at your heated face, rosy cheek and wet, parted lips just for him. Jace pulled you into a kiss, sweet and slow this time and you moaned right into his mouth at the taste of yourself on his tongue.
Your eyelashes fluttered against your cheeks and you were overwhelmed in the best possible way as Jace's finger slid through your juices once again before he entered you.
You could've sworn you heard his and your dragon roar triumphantly in the distance as he slid his finger into your drenched core, your moan loud enough to go beyond the walls of your room and raise questions - or brows at such distasteful actions behind closed doors. If they only knew.
He groaned at how tightly you squeezed his single digit, fantasizing how you'd feel around his cock. Jace twitched against your back and you held him only tighter, your hot walls eager to let him in.
You were so wet, it was a slippery little affair and as he let you adjust, his thumb rubbed soothing circles on your clit, his rhythm reflected in the way your core clenched up deliciously.
You locked eyes with him, half-lidded and ready to die a sweet death at his hands, begging him softly: "You can move. It's okay, you won't hurt me."
It was like you were playing your wedding night and he let out a shuddering breath, needing to stay in control before he threw it out of the window and deflowered you right here, in a bed and place that wasn't worthy of you. He'd never forgive himself if he would not make it special.
Slowly, he pushed forward and further into your heat, his finger quickly becoming wet and slippery and covered in you.
You let out a satisfied sigh, letting yourself be kissed as he oh so gently began to build up an easy rhythm, not brave enough yet to sink to the knuckle into you, but feeding your soaked cunt more and more of him, his mind alert to spot any discomfort in you and ready to stop and wait for you.
But you had wanted him for far too long to need any more caution from him.
And the sounds - gods, the sounds were driving you insane. You were so wet, your pussy was making slurping sounds at the intrusion of his finger and you bit your lip blissfully when he finally found his pace, light and easy on you, but no less hot and intense.
Only the rain splattering against the windows and your little moans and gasps could be heard as he fingered you gently, the pads of his finger dragging over your walls and trying to find the one tiny spot he had read about, enough to make a woman lose her mind and all final restraints if done right.
You were mewling, gripping his arm over your chest tightly and occasionally biting his skin softly to stop you from being too loud.
"You are so beautiful." He slurred against your temple, keeping his eyes only on you to capture every one of your reactions and keep it in his mind.
You moaned wantonly, maybe because of the praise or because his thumb dragged over your pulsing clit, he didn't know. But oh, how he wanted to find out.
For just a moment, he stilled his movements and you looked at him with wide eyes, your hips trying to fuck yourself on his fingers, but him not letting you.
Jace watched you closely, quickly kissing your quivering lips before his voice dropped low and he murmured: "Your cunt feels so good around my fingers, my love. You're squeezing me so tightly, ñuha jorrāeliarzy, you are the most beautiful thing in the whole realm and all mine."
"Yours." You echoed and whimpered, solely because of his words.
He couldn't help but smile besottedly, storing the effect of his words on you away for another time and resuming to fingering you gently.
Soon, after you whispered you were ready for one more, two of his fingers were now softly pumping in and out of you and you knew you could not last much longer under his sweet tormention.
Your hips had begun to move on their own and he watched you with both fascination and love as you rode on his fingers, your eyes closed and your lovely mouth opened in the sweetest o-shape.
If he'd still now, he knew you'd continue to fuck yourself on him and god, how he wanted to see it, but there was still one ace up his sleeve and he couldn't wait any longer to try it.
He crooked both his fingers upwards and you tensed in his arms, moaning into his arm and losing yourself almost completely as he touched a part of you you didn't even know existed.
"Jacaerys, gods, I-" You whimpered as the pads of his fingers rubbed against that rough little spot in you, your hips twitching uncontrollably.
"Let go for me, princess." He encouraged you, kissing your cheek and nuzzling his face against yours sweetly. "I can feel you dripping around me, your perfect cunt weeping for me…"
You were floating, only held back by Jacaerys' arms around you, playing your body like a delicate instrument as one hand played with your tit while the other still rubbed against your sweet spot, eager to bring you to release.
His thumb came back onto your clit and your hips arched, pressing yourself forward against his sticky hand as he rubbed delicious circles on you.
"Come for me, my love, I need to see, need to feel you." He coaxed you further, smiling against your neck and adding in a whisper: "Let go for me, my sweet wife."
That was it.
You exploded, coming hard around his fingers, whimpering pitifully as tears of pleasure and overwhelm escaped your eyes.
You rode your high, your hips helplessly bucking against Jacaerys as he kissed your tears away, softly talking you through it and soothing you down with gentle hands from a peak you had no idea how to recover from…
Jace watched you closely, fascinated and so, so in love, as he slowly slipped his fingers out of you, an obscene string connecting them to your wetness he could not see.
To make sure you would not feel too empty, his hand cupped your mound, keeping you warm and secure as little aftershocks ran through you and you were panting and peppering little kisses on his arm, clinging to him with all your might.
"You were so good…" Jace whispered lovingly, kissing whatever he could reach of you, his body keeping you warm and sated in the aftermath of both your actions. "So, so beautiful…"
You hummed, tired and thoroughly happy as you slowly calmed down, relishing the feeling of his warm hand still on you, carefully avoiding your spent parts so you wouldn't feel overstimulated.
Exhaustion clung to your bones, a mixture of the long day on dragonback and the oblivion of good sex, but you still felt Jacaerys hard against your back. He had not yet found his release and you were eager to give it to him.
You tried to turn around, to reach down between you and touch him, but he was not having it.
"Sh sh, this was only about you, my love." He shushed you, his strong arms efficiently stopping you from wriggling against him. He soothed his hands over your sides and kissed your temple. "When I take you to bed properly, it will be at Dragonstone where I can take care of you as a loving husband should."
You shivered at the promise, without any coldness left in your veins.
He smiled against your cheek, his fingers lightly drawing circles onto your hip bone as he leaned closer and whispered into your ear: "And then, I'm going to take my time with you, princess, learning how you taste on my tongue...ravishing that sweet little cunt of yours…"
Your core deliciously clenched up at the thought, but you were also sleepy, your eyelids already betraying your intentions as they drooped. You snuggled yourself closer against Jacaerys, stifling a yawn.
"Don't worry, we'll have all the time in the world…" Jace lulled you closer to sleep, the sweet nothings he whispered to you being like a warm blanket draping itself over you.
"Jacaerys…" You mumbled, feeling your grasp on staying awake slip further as his hands ran softly over you, making your mind hazy and blank. "Thank you...I- I'm very warm now…"
He laughed quietly, his chest blooming with happiness as he felt your body slump against his.
Jace closed his own eyes, resting his chin on top of your head and holding you against him protectively. He was the luckiest prince of the realm tonight and forever if he only had you.
And you, his princess, were warm and sated and in the embrace of the one you belonged to.
And suddenly, as you drifted off into a long and peaceful slumber, flying back to Dragonstone in the morning did not look so dreadful anymore...
𐙚𓏲⋆ ִֶָ ๋𓂃
my taglist: @princesschimchim1325 @cecestea @jacesvelaryons @princessvelaryon @diannnnsss
#jace velaryon#jace targaryen#jacaerys velaryon#jacaerys targaryen#jace velaryon x reader#jacaerys velaryon x reader#jacaerys targaryen x reader#jace targaryen x reader#hotd imagine#hotd
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dead squirrel in the apartment everyone pour one out for me
#called the fire dept bc i thought it was a gas leak#the meter didnt pick up anything#they checked behind the stove and i mentioned squirrels living in the roof#and one guy had a look of almost realization#and said that what it probably is is a dead animal#fucking squirrels#anyways all is well#im just going to bed 2 hours late#and i work with small kids so thats a loss of much needed sleep#at least im not gonna blow up tho#okay goodnight.#alotusleaf speaks#alotusleaf
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(unedited)² retired simon has nowhere to go, so you offer. [ one, two, three]
it took a lot of convincing to get him to your little apartment, like trying to move a massive brick wall with a feather. however, in the end, he gave in— not that he had much of a say in the matter, considering the fact that the two of you were already at your home amidst arguing (which, to be fair, was predominantly one-sided as he persistently uttered 'no' in response to all your counterarguments).
in all honesty, you couldn't quite figure out why you were so insistent on having a stranger, especially a strange man, stay with you in your much too tiny apartment. perhaps it was your festive december spirit, the idea of someone being alone during this time of year just didn't sit right with you. besides it was just for the night, then you could take him to the shelter.
he’d been quiet as you set up everything for him, he was imposing, tall, and somewhat scary (primarily due to his skull mask and his overall silent demeanor). but strangely enough, you didn't feel unsafe with him, despite the fact that you probably should have. after all, he was a man, and he undoubtedly outweighed you by at least 100 pounds. killing you and getting away with it would be easy for him. and, why the hell were you contemplating this now, instead of when you first picked him up from the side of the street?
perhaps it was the way he carried himself, with a sense of calm and control that was almost hypnotic. or maybe it was the way his eyes seemed to pierce through you, yet held a hint of sadness that made you feel a strange sense of empathy toward him. whatever the reason, you found yourself drawn to him.
as you finished setting up the couch, you couldn't help but steal glances at him, trying to decipher his thoughts and emotions. but his expression remained unreadable, his mask hiding any hint of vulnerability or emotion. it was both frustrating and intriguing, making you wonder what secrets lay hidden behind that skull mask.
“um, so the shower is just down the hall, oh! feel free to look through the fridge for something,” you smile awkwardly at the tall man and gesture to your room door, “if you need anything just let me know.” his gaze remains fixated upon the makeshift bed you have prepared, adorned with a spare comforter of a soft, faded hue resembling baby blue, adorned with delicate flowers which sprawls across the expanse of your pull-out sofa.
simon, ever the brooding man, says a small, stiff thank you; ready for you to leave him alone you're sure. wiping your sweaty palms on your denim-clad thighs, you gently press your lips together and affirmatively bob your head. “alright, well, goodnight simon.” without waiting for a response, that you were sure you weren't going to get, you scuttle off to your bedroom, swiftly closing the door and attempting to lock it as quietly as possible. however, the resounding click makes you think he’s heard it.
letting out a weary sigh you slide down your door, reaching into your pocket to retrieve your phone. with a gentle motion, you begin to skim through your contacts and find your best friend. it rings once, twice before she picks up with a tired hello.
“if i die tonight, i love you.”
you catch the faint sound of her perplexed murmur, followed by the gentle click of her bedside lamp over the phone. it was late, far too late for you to have disturbed her with a call, you knew that— should’ve called your sister or something.
“have you been drinking?”
you give a slight eye roll before curling your legs up to your chest. “no, not yet. anyways, i think i might've done something very dumb," you admit, trailing off as you nervously nibble on the inside of your cheek, feeling the soft flesh give way under your teeth. your friend lets out a quiet grunt. “well? spit it out.”
“so, i picked up a homeless guy on the side of the road and offered him a ride to the shelter but instead i brought him to my apartment and now he’s in my living room, about to sleep on my couch,” you utter quickly— and she's silent for a moment, it's a loud silence, one that makes your heart beat quickly in your chest. you run a hand down your face and take a deep breath, sighing heavily. “say something.” your voice is filled with a mix of impatience and anxiety.
“what the hell is wrong with you?”
#writers on tumblr#female writers#call of duty#cod mwii#writeblr#tf 141#cod links#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley x you#simon riley x f!reader#simon ghost x reader#simon riley blurb#ghost blurb#cod mw3#cod mw#cod mw2#simon riley#simon ghost x you#simon ghost riley x you#simon x reader#deunmiu dessie#hobo simon#the blindside inspired#call of duty modern warfare#simon riley imagine#simon ghost fluff
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Dizzy
summary: when your roommate James comes home after a night out with his friends, he's acting even more affectionate than usual
cw: alcohol
modern au
roommate!James x fem!reader ♡ 2.7k words
You can always hear when James’ friends come over. The door opens and the sound of them comes pouring through into your flat, the boys always in the middle of bickering or joking or telling some incredibly animated story.
When you hear their noise late on a Friday night, you pause the movie on your laptop and head for the door, drawn towards their loudness. James’ friends are rowdier than anyone you hang out with, but it’s a happy sort of ruckus. They’re fun and hilarious and surprisingly kind, and you enjoy chatting when they come over.
“Hi, gorgeous,” Sirius sing-songs, spotting you as soon as you emerge from your room. You laugh at his scratchy, worn-out voice. He sounds like he’s probably been singing at the top of his lungs all night. Dark eyeliner has transferred to the skin under his eyes, but Sirius is the only person you know with his particular ability to make dishevelment look rock-and-roll instead of slobbish.
“Hi,” you say back, grinning at him. Your eyes search behind him to find Remus, just coming through the doorway. As always, he looks completely different from his other half; whereas Sirius has unmistakably just gotten home from a night out, Remus could just as easily have been at the library in his jeans and t-shirt, except for the faint black smudge where Sirius’ eyeliner has seemingly rubbed off on his cheek. Then you catch sight of James, drooping like an overwatered flower with his arm slung around Remus’ shoulder. “Is he okay?”
“Yeah, he’ll be alright,” Remus grunts, heaving your roommate through the entryway. He tries to send you a smile of greeting, but it’s more of a well-meaning grimace. “He just needs to drink some water.”
“I won,” Sirius says giddily, stumbling over and grabbing your arm. “I outdrank James Potter.”
There’s a nervous edge to the laugh that bubbles out of your throat. “That’s great, Sirius, congratulations.” You cast an alarmed look towards Remus. “You all had a competition?”
Remus shakes his head. “They had a competition.”
“I won,” James says suddenly, picking his head up as if revived from a deep sleep. “Don’t listen to him, Y/N, I’m the winner.”
Sirius makes a derisive sound. “You can’t even walk, Potter.”
“I can,” James defends himself, and slips his arm from around Remus’ shoulder. Both you and Remus put your hands out cautiously like when a toddler takes its first steps, but James totters safely to the couch, leaning against it like he’s just finished a marathon and directing a smug smile towards Sirius. “Suck it, Pads.”
Sirius’ lips curl impishly. His unsteady gaze settles on Remus, still hovering by the door. “Gotta get home to do that.”
“Alright,” Remus says quickly, stepping forward to take his boyfriend by the shoulders and steering him towards the door. “We’re gonna go home and get to bed—to sleep.” He’s blushing something fierce, and you do your absolute best not to smile. “Prongs.” James looks up from where he’s been toying with the fabric of your couch throw. “Drink some water, and then go to sleep, yeah?” Remus raises his brows, waiting for confirmation, and James presses a solemn hand to his heart.
“Your wish is my command, Moony-boy.”
Remus rolls his eyes but turns to go, sending you a quick goodnight with an apology embedded in his voice before he shuts the door behind him. You lock it, and turn back around to find James performing a lazy somersault over the back of the couch and onto the cushions.
“James,” you laugh, and he smiles up at you like he doesn’t know what’s so funny but is happy to be a part of it anyway, “do you want to come into the kitchen to have some water?”
James turns pensive. “Is that where you’re going?”
“Mhm.”
“Then sure.” He hops up a bit too fast, and has to put his arms out in front of him to regain his balance.
You take his forearm in your hand, knowing you won’t be able to support his weight if he really falls but hoping you can at least slow his descent, and begin walking him toward the kitchen. “Are you feeling dizzy?” you ask him.
James hums. “A bit. But in a good way, you know?”
You don’t, but you nod anyway. “Well,” you say with certainty you can’t feel, “that’s good. Chill here for a second, okay?” You prop him up against the counter, and James melts against it instantly in that easy way he has, leaning back on his elbows and crossing his ankles in front of him. The edge of the counter has to be digging into his back, but James makes it look like the most comfortable spot in the flat.
You start to grab a glass from the cabinet but then think the better of it, opting for a less destructible plastic cup. You fill it with icy water from the tap.
“Alright.” You pass it to him. “Don’t drink it too fast.”
James takes the cup with a smile that’s really much sweeter than your tiny gesture warrants. Then he proceeds to slide the rest of the way down the counter, until he’s sitting with his legs spread out in front of him on the floor. After a moment, you decide to join him, crossing your legs under you and letting your back rest beside his. The floor just seems like the place to be right now.
For the first time since you’ve known him, James seems content to sit in silence, sipping at his water. Neither of you are looking at each other, or really anywhere in particular. It’s definitely a Friday night, more of the noise of voices and traffic making their way up to your flat than you hear on most days of the week, but your home itself is quiet. The light in the kitchen is dim, coming in from the lamp you’ve left on in the living room, and your body relaxes instinctively in the peaceful dark.
James has nearly emptied the cup when he says, “Hey,” as if he’s just remembered something important.
You look at him. “What?”
“There’s no ice in here.”
You raise your eyebrows. “Did you want ice? I can put some in, I just thought you preferred drinks without ice.”
Even in the dim light, you can make out enough of James’ eyes to see the brown in them go absolutely molten. He turns toward you more fully, his shoulder and cheek squished up against the cabinets. “Aww, you knew.”
You laugh at him, his smushed cheek pushing his glasses up on his face and his bottom lip jutting out slightly. The effect is that he looks both worryingly drunk and decidedly endearing. “Of course I know,” you say. “We’re roommates. I’m bound to pick up on things.”
Your words do nothing to curb James’ adoration. “Still, you noticed,” he says, maudlin. “Thanks, sweetheart.”
Sweetheart. The word resounds in your head like the happy chime of a bell. James is always calling you that, but usually it seems thrown away, a light little endearment he tacks onto his addresses without thinking. This feels different. It lingers on his tongue like caramel, soft and sticky sweet. Sweetheart.
“Of course,” you say again, and you’re grateful for the poor lighting that’s hiding your blush. “Ready to go to bed?”
James looks at you like you’ve asked him to solve a calculus equation, thick brows knitting together. Maybe it’s the endearment still ringing in your head, but you really want to smooth the crease from between them with your thumb. You don’t.
“I dunno,” he says after a moment. “Are you tired?”
“A little,” you admit. “Aren’t you?”
He shrugs. “I could be.” And then he’s hauling himself up, an overly complicated process that involves getting his feet underneath him while he’s already using the counter to pull himself off the floor. You have to bite back a smile as you watch, and when he’s done James extends a hand to you. As if you’re the one who needs help.
You take it but don’t actually put any of your weight on him as you stand, grabbing his empty cup from the counter. James’ hand is big, engulfing yours easily, and the condensation from the cool water still lingers on his palm. He doesn’t let go as you start towards his bedroom. You tell yourself it’d be mean to pull away on your own.
“Oh!” he exclaims, once again like he’s discovered something fascinating. “I haven’t even asked—how’s your night been?”
You laugh again. You can never seem to stop laughing around James. “It’s been good, thanks. Not as eventful as yours, I take it.”
James hums in unhappy affirmation. “Lucky you.”
“Well, seems like you got the true night-out experience.” You bring him to sit on his bed, bending to untie his shoes for him and setting them by the door. “Do you wanna sleep in that or change into pajamas?” you ask, fighting the urge to tack on the honey that pushes at your lips.
There’s no deliberation there. “Pajama pants, at least. I can’t wear jeans in bed, m’not a monster.”
You smile to yourself, locating a pair of pajama pants on the floor and holding them up for him to see. “These okay?”
“Yeah, thanks.”
You toss them to him. James starts to strip, and you turn around quickly, going into the bathroom. “So, aside from the drinking contest, did you have a good time tonight?”
“Yeah,” he says lightly. You fill the cup with water from James’ sink and find a bottle of ibuprofen in the drawer underneath. “It wasn’t bad. Remus is so busy lately, it’s good to get to see him at all, and beating Sirius is always fun.” He gives a little laugh. “He’s such a sore loser.”
“He seemed to think he’d won,” you say, your tone teasingly dubious.
A harrumph. “If Remus doesn’t set him straight on that, I’ll do it tomorrow.”
You chuckle.
“You’ll tell ‘em, won’t you?”
“For sure. Do you have your pants on yet?”
“Oh. Yeah.” You go back into the bedroom to find James comfy under the covers, smiling sheepishly. “I didn’t know you were waiting for me to tell you, sorry.”
“No worries.” You smile. He looks so sweet like this, curls splayed out around his head on the pillow the way a kid draws rays around the sun. You set the cup and pill bottle on his nightstand, using your proximity to study his face. His pupils are huge and unfocussed, and the smile he’s aiming at you is a bit too dopey for your liking. “You said you were dizzy…do you think you’re going to be sick?”
“No.” James starts to push himself up as if to make his point, then decides against it, resting his head against the edge of the mattress with a tiny grimace. “Maybe.”
“That’s okay,” you reassure him, grabbing a wastebasket from under his desk. “Here, I’m going to put this by the bed just in case, okay? And you’ve got water and ibuprofen on the nightstand.”
James doesn’t respond. He’s looking at you dazedly.
“James.” You tap his cheek lightly. “Do you understand? You need to use the wastebasket if you feel sick.”
His hand emerges from beneath the covers, fingers braceleting your wrist. “Stay with me,” he mumbles. You’re glad he’s definitely too out of it to feel the quick bumping of your pulse beneath his fingers. When you hesitate a second too long, James tightens his grip beseechingly. “Please, sweetheart?”
There it is again. Your brain buzzes in response.
“Alright,” you whisper, brushing a soothing touch against the inside of his forearm, and James releases you. “I was watching a movie before you got home. Want to finish it?”
He agrees, and you go across the hall, retrieving your laptop. You climb over him on the bed, pretending not to feel the brush of a big hand across your hip as though meant to steady you. You settle your laptop between the two of you and press play on the movie.
James leans over, resting his head on your shoulder. “You’re always watching this,” he murmurs. “You don’t get tired of it?”
“Not really,” you reply. “It’s my favorite. But if you are, I can change it.”
He makes a humming sound, and you feel the vibrations in your shoulder. “No, s’alright. Bet you can quote half the film, though, can’t you?”
You grin. “I’m scared,” you say, in time with the actress on your screen. “I don’t wanna get hurt.” You can feel James smiling, his cheek smushing against your shoulder. You lower your voice into a gruff mockery of the male actor’s intonation. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”
James makes a soft sound of amusement. “Cute,” he murmurs, more to himself than to you.
You fall into an easy silence, blue light cast over your features as the familiar scenes play out quietly on your laptop. You keep sneaking glances at James, thinking he’s either about to fall asleep or be sick, but he’s watching the movie contentedly, head a solid but welcome weight on your shoulder. He’s evidently decided to discard the shirt he’d worn to the bar, and the skin of his bare shoulder is warm where it presses against your arm. He adjusts his head a little, and his curls tickle the underside of your jaw. You don’t know how he gets them so soft. Not through any strict regimen or product, apparently. One good thing about having a guy for a roommate is that he’s never the one who runs out the hot water; he’s in and out of the shower in ten minutes every time. And yet, if you look closely enough, you can usually find at least two or three perfect coils in his hair. Genetics, you suppose. James was blessed with a good lot of them.
The movie’s not half done before you’re yawning, your eyelids feeling like someone’s sewn fishing weights into them. You try not to shift, but your shoulders rise with the involuntary inhale, and James looks up at you. You yawn again, covering your mouth with one hand as a tear forms in the corner of your eye, squished out when you blink. You wipe it away.
“Wait,” James says. You go still, looking over at him curiously as he adjusts against the headboard of his bed, pushing himself further upright. He tilts his head. The back of his index finger brushes gently under your lashes. “You always get teary at night,” he says softly.
You know you should get out from under his touch, but you can’t make yourself. “I tear up a lot when I yawn.”
Just thinking about it has you yawning again, and James takes your face in his hand, catching the tear that falls from one eye.
“Don’t cry,” he begs you. “If you cry, I’ll cry.”
You take his wrist in your hand, giving him a small smile. “I’m not crying, James. I’m just tired.”
“Okay,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss, feather-light, just next to your eye. You freeze, but he doesn’t seem to notice. “Okay, m’sorry. You’re tired? Wanna go to sleep?”
You have to clear your throat to make sure your voice comes out right. “Sure.” It’s still a bit hoarse. “Wake me if you need anything, okay?”
James takes your hand, a willing captive between two of his as he draws it into his lap. He settles his head back onto your shoulder. “Okay. You’re too nice to me.”
“I’m not,” you say, before you can think the better of it. “You’re the nice one.”
James only hums.
You swallow. “Goodnight.”
You’re waiting for a response, the movie on your laptop just now getting to the scene where the love interests give in and confess their feelings for each other, when you feel a wet spot forming near the collar of your shirt. Slowly, careful not to jostle him, you tilt your head to look down at the source of the drool puddle.
James already asleep.
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Blue (x Sylus, Xavier, Rafayel, Zayne)
Warnings: I have mentioned symptoms under the character’s names in case you want to avoid any
Tags: angst, comfort if you choose it, GN Reader
Synopsis: how they treat you when you’re feeling down
-x-
Zayne
Overcompensation, fear of abandonment
You were on his bed, covered in blankets, reading a book. Although it was late, you did not want to fall asleep before he came home. He had always done the same for you. You heard the front door open, and felt relieved, feeling exhausted from keeping your eyes open.
Zayne greeted you with a smile, joining you in bed after changing, encapsulating you with his large arms, breathing in your practiced scent.
“You’re wearing perfume to bed?”
“Do you dislike it?” You moved closer, your legs warming up his cold legs, turning around to bury your head in his neck. Everything about Zayne was cold that day, and you just wanted to keep him warm, even though you felt your own skin freeze.
“Of course not.” Zayne spoke hesitantly. You immediately caught that in his tone, tensing up. Did he suddenly hate you like everyone else? Were you not enough for him? Was he going to discard you too?
Your heartbeat quickened and you knew if you spoke more, you’d start crying. You weren’t sure what to do, just hoping Zayne would fall asleep.
“You don’t have to do so much, you know.”
You weren’t sure how to respond to that, half of you knowing what he meant, and the other half not willing to even register it.
“I love you as you are. I’m not going to leave you.” He continued.
“We don’t know that.”
At that, Zayne put some distance between the two of you, looking at your face with stern eyes. “I know it, and I’ll tell you over and over, as many times as you need me to.”
You turned around, turning off the lamp. “Goodnight, Zayne.”
He really didn’t understand anything, what it felt like being you, what you had been through, but he held you anyway. You could feel him worry, these feelings bubbling within you threatening to destroy what the two of you had built together, or negate it entirely. You wanted to believe him, wanted to think he’d never leave you, you wanted to stop feeling like you could make a single mistake and he’d drop you, but he was the renowned Dr. Zayne, and you were just you.
“I’m sorry.” You said for the hundredth time that month, never really sure for what. You were sorry for being yourself, you supposed.
“It’s not your fault.” He whispered. “I’ll take care of you. Always.”
You turned to rest your head against his chest, as he kissed the top of your head, hoping he was right, and that these feelings were indeed temporary. That one day, you would know he loved you just as much as you loved him.
Rafayel
Guilt, breaking down
Nothing ever felt fine; every laugh turned into a jeer towards you, a simple remark from Jenna felt like disgusting words in your head. Yes, everyone hated you, everyone thought you were a burden, and you carried the guilt that brought, haunting your every waking moment.
But one of those days, your fragile façade was bound to break.
At first, it started with your supervisor telling you your work was poorly done, but once he saw you made no reaction, he became irritated, and insulted you. “Can’t you see how incompetent you are?”
The words did not leave your head for the rest of the day, and though you should have told Rafayel you couldn’t make it to his exhibition, you couldn’t disappoint another person.
However, when you went to the art gallery, he was the only one there, with paintings of his you’d never seen before.
“Raf?” You called, your voice small. He came to you, an arm around your shoulder, showing off his paintings.
“So, how’d you like it?”
“Where is everyone?” You asked. The paintings were beautiful, showcasing peaceful moments in the ocean and sky, and their arrangement made you feel like you were in another world.
“I got rid of them.”
You laughed at that, a little incredulous. “Seriously?”
“They were bothering you, weren’t they?”
You stopped in your tracks. Rafayel always seemed to know how you were feeling, so you didn’t try to hold back your tears this time. He held you as if he was expecting it.
“Hey, it’s okay now, I’m here.”
You cried to him as he showed you his paintings, talking about everything that happened, joking about ways to get rid of your mean boss, and even if it was just a little, he gave you strength to deal with tomorrow.
Sylus
Aloofness, detachment
Another mission, another day of work. Over and over, you repeated the routine you grew to hate, unable to take a break, and at a point, it stopped fazing you. You walked like a zombie, carelessly heading towards a no-hunt area.
The reports said something about a wanderer, but suddenly you felt tired and unable to breathe. Was this a protocore’s effect? The dizziness took over, but the last thing you remembered was falling on something soft rather than hitting the ground.
You woke up next in a familiar room, dark drapes around the bed, and a sturdy figure seated on a rolling chair, cleaning a gun.
“That for me?” You joked, sitting up.
“That won’t be necessary.” He put the gun on the table, prowling towards the bed. Sylus looked stern as he towered over you, pinning you down.
“You almost died.” He looked at you with hurt in his eyes.
You weren’t sure what he was talking about. No, you just fainted— something that happened to every hunter, no, every human, once in a while. “It wasn’t that serious, Sy.” You tried to bring your hand to cup his cheek but he held it at its wrist.
“When was the last time you ate something?”
“That’s-” You couldn’t continue, because it really had been a while. Your heart sank as you realised you went to work without breakfast or lunch, and had even skipped last night’s dinner.
“Sweetie…” Sylus ran his hand through your face gently. “You don’t have to go through this alone. I’m here for you.”
You didn’t respond. Things had taken the literal life out of you, and simple tasks became challenging. You avoided food because it felt like a task to eat and drink, which made you incredibly weak, on top of everything that sucked the life out of you. “Sylus, I’m hungry.”
He smiled, his eyes melting at your innocent response. “I had the chef prepare your favourite.”
He got off the bed, taking the lid off the plate on your bedside, the scent homely and soothing. You tried to take it from him but he swatted your hand away, bringing the spoon to your mouth himself. “Say aaaah.”
You giggled, letting him feed you, feeling safe in that moment. “Hey, Sylus?” You asked, swallowing a savoury bite. “Can I stay with you like this for a few days?”
“I wasn’t planning on letting you stay alone ever again anyway.”
Xavier
Isolation
15 missed calls from your friends, 5 messages telling you would be fired if you did not show up, and a concerned neighbour who would knock at your door daily. You did not care anymore, telling them all to stay away from you, not even texting back to assure people you were alive.
You kept the curtains shut, spending your day gaming, living on packaged snacks and ketchup soup, and sleeping for as long as you could. It felt good, even though you were wasting your life away. No longer could you handle the cruel world outside.
Xavier knocked on your door as usual, and you crawled towards it in your childhood blanket, the item that grandma wrapped around you to keep you safe from the monsters, only this time you’d be speaking to the handsome and galliant hunter, Xavier. Perhaps you were the monster— you certainly looked like one, your hair a tousled mess, skin breaking out from the poor diet.
“You still not gonna come out?” You heard him slump against the door, just as you were.
“Go away, Xavier.”
“I made you cookies, well, Jeremiah did.”
You smiled, remembering the time Xavier burned down the oven trying to make sweets. When he made mistakes, it was cute, but when you made mistakes, you felt like the world would blame you. “You can leave them outside.”
“Why won’t you let me in?”
“Why do you want to come in?” You snapped, tired of his perfect personality. Why did he always want to help you? And… why couldn’t he push harder?
It’s as if he heard the silent words ‘Xavier, help me.’, he teleported beside you, and you yelped at the suddenness.
“Because I want to help you.” He still looked at you with the care and affection he did when you were happy in your relationship, as if you never messed up in the first place.
“You already have a lot on your plate.”
“I’ll clear it up for you.”
“I’m not worth it, Xavier.”
Xavier took your blanket and wrapped it around the both of you. “You have no idea what you’re worth to me.”
“You have a sweet response to everything, don’t you?” You smiled, relief pouring over you as if a prince had rescued you from your monsters, your head on his shoulder.
He put his head on yours as well. “I get like this, too, you know? But you were always there to pull me out.”
You did not recall it very well, but you understood anyway. It was like your lonely star in the star found a companion, and though your light dimmed, his would keep things bright.
-x-
#love and deepspace x reader#zayne x reader#sylus x you#xavier x reader#rafayel x mc#lnds x reader#l&ds fics#zayne angst#xavier comfort#headcanons#hcs#fanfiction#lads x reader#lads fics#l&ds rafayel#lnds fic#reader self insert#sylus x reader#sylus fics
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urgh back to job hunting tomorrow.. I hope I can at least sleep tonight
#I've been very up n down lately. badly need a lot of things but its ok just not thinking abt them for now. im too tired anyway#its been a weird week#if nothing else at least I'm making stuff again thats been rly good for my brain so :^)#anywayy gonna go cry + then SLEEP goodnight people in my phone i am tucking u all cosy into bed <3#.diaries
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