#Anyway i always think the whole two sides of the same coin thing is very poetic and very true of them

[little-candy-store-of-horrors]

Two sides of the same coin - angry, wronged and aching for change - tossed up in some sort of gamble against the bloodiest odds.

[borom1r]

I have thoughts abt Beanix but they are NOT coherent ooooargh!!!! HIM!!!!!!!

[nonexistent-introvert]

Alternate Reminder

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x F!reader

Word Count: 3.4k

Content: Miguel has trouble trying to treat you fairly when you remind him too much of what he had lost. Angst, misunderstanding.

A/N: I havent truly proofread this so I'm sorry. This took super long.

Part 2

   Miguel thought you were special. He thought it was maybe the universe giving him a second chance when he saw you. His first love and his beautiful wife, standing in front of him while wearing a Spiderman suit. Maybe, he was destined to be with you, after all, a universe where you could understand him. A universe where he could finally be happy with you and Gabriella, a universe that he actually belonged to and he didn’t have to worry about destroying a whole universe just to be with you. 

   The only problem? This version of you had zero ideas of who Miguel O’Hara is. Miguel thought it was a canon event, for the both of you to fall in love. In most universes he had been to, you were with Miguel. In most, you were happy and had a family with him. In the more unfortunate universes, things didn’t work out between the two of you. The only thing that was unchanged was that Miguel and you were bound to find and fall in love with each other at one point. 

  However, Miguel hated your guts. His amor was sweet, responsible, and well-organized. You were the complete opposite of that. You were rude, irresponsible, and very messy as a person. He dared say that you were the messiest person he had ever met. There was no sign of organisation at your workstation. Papers were messily stacked on top of each other or swept across the desk. The mini shelf you had beside your desk was filled with books that were all falling to one side, some had completely collapsed. More files were squeezed on top of the books. Miguel’s greatest pet peeve was seeing the bent and folded pages being shoved into a file. The urge to help you reorganize was almost too big for him to handle causing the frustration to build up and was let out onto you instead. Miguel groaned as he met eye contact with you while he was buying his morning coffee. It was almost insulting to him how you had the same exact face as her, the woman he falls for in every universe. 

   On the opposite side of the same coin, you loathed Miguel O’Hara. He was bossy, pompous, and couldn’t take a single joke. Any conversation you have had with him ended up in the both of you arguing. Sarcasm was something everyone around you had gotten used to, except for Miguel of course who never seemed to catch on. He would simply give you a judgemental stare before giving a literal answer which you would roll your eyes at. At that point, Miguel would think that you’re being rude, and depending on his mood that day, he would either scold you or scoff at you. 

   “Just get over it, you’re always mad at Miguel anyways. I thought you would get used to it by now.” Gwen sighed, giving you the same response every time you ranted about Miguel. “It’s not like you don’t know the big guy,” Hobie said nonchalantly, having long gotten used to your rants about Miguel. “You hate him, we get it.” Pavitr groaned, complaining for the umpteenth time about how you always seemed to be talking about Miguel. Gwen chuckled, “If you didn’t point out every single flaw of his so heartlessly every time you rant about him, I would think you have a crush on Miguel  or something.” Gwen said. “Hell no. I’m not fucking blind.” you defended, offended she would even think this way. “You gotta admit, big boss is quite the looker, too bad he’s a prick.” Hobie pointed out. “Speak of the devil,” Pavitr warned, straightening up as he stared at Miguel who was walking to your table’s direction. 

    You merely glared in his direction. Gwen was right, you should be used to him by now. He shouldn’t be getting under your skin so easily. So why can’t you just ignore him? Why does your mind always drift to him when you’re alone, why do you realise when he was due for a haircut? How his hair curls at the end when he lets his hair grow, how he reaches 10 minutes early to any appointment, and how he would get his coffee at exactly 9am in the morning. You shook your head, riding yourself off those thoughts. There was no way you actually had some sort of attraction to him right? Your mind drifted to the fight you had with him 5 days ago, his words still causing a dull ache in your heart. The both of you always fought but you were sure Miguel was going to kick you off the team until he called your friends the next day and gave you a mission through them while also completely disregarding your presence if he saw you around after. 

===================

   “Mind your own business!” Miguel exclaimed, you flinched at his harsh tone. “I was just-” “Who said you could touch my property?” Anger was practically the only emotion in his voice as he pushed you to the side. “Lyla told me you were having some troubles, that your screens had some kind of issue-” You gritted out, closing your eyes to calm yourself too. You only had good intentions to fix the issues he was fixing and now you were being accused of invading his privacy. You couldn't even remember any of the files that appeared on the screen while you were fixing his terrible code. Too focused on solving the technical errors to be poking your nose into his business. “I don’t need your help,” He seethed. “She was going to help you, Miguel. You have been complaining about it and even I can’t help you, you very well know she’s the only one equipped with the knowledge to fix this.” Lyla defended you. The fury in Miguel’s eyes scared you as well, “You need to mind your own business as well.” He snarled to Lyla before turning to you, switching off the orange screens completely. “I would rather let everything burn to hell than trust you to fix anything. You’re a fucking mess if you didn’t realize. ” Miguel spat. 

  It was your last straw. You had more self-respect than let anyone speak to you like that. “Kick me off, fucking kick me off already. You hate me anyways, right? So why do you bother keeping me around?” 

   “Get out!” Miguel bellowed and you didn’t need him to repeat himself. You took off the watch on your wrist and threw it to the floor, letting it break into pieces. In that moment, his words hurt you more than glitching ever would. 

 ============ 

   Peter found you at a bar in your universe that day. You downed another glass of whiskey at the sight of Peter, you were in too bad of a mood to talk to anyone now and you know you would regret it if you lashed out at him.

  Peter didn’t say anything, simply sitting beside you and staring as you downed one glass after another. 

 Peter ordered a drink, taking sips of his drink as he decided on the best approach to talk to you. Your anger was practically radiating off you, making everyone else stir clear of you. 

   “He’s all bark no bite.” Peter started. You scoffed lightly, letting the silence fall between the both of you. You turned to peter, feeling bad for putting him in an uncomfortable situation. “You heard already huh.” Peter simply shrugged, “Word travels fast. Practically the whole society knows.” You downed another glass at that, you wondered how much the story had changed as it was passed from one person to another. It was probably a field day at headquarters. 

   “There is barely anyone at headquarters, Miguel has been bringing hell to anyone he even makes eye contact with,” Peter answered as though he could read your thoughts. You had to bite back your words, to tell Peter that you really couldn’t care less about Miguel now nor did you need the company. Silence fell between the both of you, Peter lightly bobs his head to the music that was playing in the bar to relieve the tension that was building up. He was never one for tense situations. “You know, you’re not really that different from Miguel.” Peter immediately put his hands up in defense when you practically growled at his comment. “Well, it’s just that both of you would rather die than talk about your emotions. Thankfully, I managed to crack Miguel so I think I can do it for you too.” Peter confidently stated. You remained silent, swirling the whiskey in your hand. You didn’t trust yourself to not lash out at Peter, especially when he’s practically comparing you to Miguel. The man you hated in all of the multiverse 

  “Hm, silence. Miguel screamed at me when we reached this point.” Peter observed, laughing nervously at the memory of his talk with Miguel. “I guess I’ll just go on first then.” Peter wrung his hands nervously. “I’m sure Miguel didn’t mean anything. You just hit a sore spot.” You scoffed again, “What? By trying to fix his stupid system?” 

Peter took another swig, he definitely needed the alcohol. “Do you not know about what is on those screens? One that probably popped up while you were fixing it.” “Contrary to popular belief, I wasn’t snooping on him. I was focused on the system itself.” You defended. Peter cringed ever so slightly at your response. “There is this girl on the screen, the one with a happier, better-looking Miguel.” Peter took another swig, this really wasn’t his story to tell. You pursed your lips, you did remember seeing the footage that Peter mentioned. You had to force yourself to look away, that you were invading his privacy. 

   “That’s his daughter.” Peter finished, trying to gauge your reaction. You simply preserved a blank look and Peter groaned slightly, he detested how stubborn you were. “Miguel found a universe where he had a family and was happy, but him in that universe had an accident so he replaced himself. Some butterfly effect happened and the whole universe collapsed on itself and he lost everything.” Peter explained. You finished your drink, everyone has lost someone. You understood why it was a sore spot but it doesn’t justify being a total asshole. 

“Miguel didn’t mean anything he said to you. It was just- tough.” Peter finished. “I didn’t even do shit Peter, just decided to fix his system and he accused me of invading his fucking privacy. It’s not like he’s the only one who lost someone. We all did.” Peter shuffled uncomfortably in his seat. “He just fucking hates my guts and I don’t know why? He literally told most people about my past when he explains about anomalies so why is he so mad when I know about it?” 

    “Because you have the same name and face as his wife, the woman who he falls for in every universe.” Your jaw dropped at the information. You couldn’t ever fathom the thought of you and Miguel even being in love. The anger in you simmered ever so slightly. It would explain how his features softened when he sees you sometimes, the vulnerable look in his eyes when he stares at you for too long. A stranger with memories, that is what you are to Miguel. Miguel tries his best to treat you like others. It was exceptionally tough when you shared the same name and face as the woman he had spent his happiest moments with. “He never told me,” you told Peter. Peter shook his head, “No one was allowed to tell you. Not like many people knew anyways. He didn’t want to stir up any unnecessary trouble. You know how he is, he doesn’t like it when people try to share his burdens.” You pursed your lips, cursing out your alcohol tolerance. It was times like this you wished you could just forget everything. “It doesn’t matter. Miguel probably wants me out of his life.” Peter threw his hands up frustratedly. “If he wants you out he wouldn’t send me here to tell you about everything.” Peter admitted. Peter was worried when he heard the news of you and Miguel having a fight which is what brought him to talk to Miguel. Peter wouldn’t be able to find you by himself, only Miguel could. You closed your eyes, you had enough of everyone. You were so exhausted, everything has been so draining. 

      “Just leave me alone alright?” You said, stumbling out of your seat slightly before leaving the bar and Peter behind. 

======================================

   “The anomaly was caught. We ensured there were no loose ends. Everything should be fine.” You reported to Miguel. Your hands were behind your back, there was a blank look on your face. Miguel bit his lip slightly at your cold demeanor toward him. He used to complain about you taking things too lightly. When you would stroll into his office with a grin, confidently telling him all the details of the mission even if it was insignificant. Now, you told him the bare minimum with a professional tone and stand. 

    Miguel used to complain and bluntly tell you that he didn't care for some of the details you told him after. Details like you and Gwen dropped by a Mcdonald's to grab some fries or that you also managed to finish a recent show. Now he wishes you would tell him, instead of you acting like this., all quiet and serious.   Miguel took a deep breath, staring at you as the platform descended. He looked away slightly, knowing things were still tense between the two of you. “Sorry about that the other day. I was not in the right place.” He apologised, forcing himself to meet your eye. Your expression was still blank, “It’s fine.” You brushed it off like you hadn’t been thinking about it ever since. “If that’s everything, I’ll take my leave now.” You told him, bowing slightly as you turned. Miguel flinched at the tone. “Wait.” He wanted to stop you from leaving. Then his head turned to the orange screens behind him that glitched every so often. “Would you-” Miguel hesitated, thinking if this was the best move.”

   “I- can you help me fix the screens?” Your eyebrows raised in surprise. “I promise I won’t lash out at you.” Miguel weakly joked. You simply nodded, stepping up onto his platform. Miguel stared at you, you were so unlike yourself. There were no teasing comments, no laughter, not even a hint of a smile. You stood in front of his screens, diligently and skillfully opening and typing away a new code. Miguel shifted and fidgeted behind you, he was wrecking his mind for a conversation topic. You were the one who usually initiated or continued the conversations. His mind replaying all the conversations he had with you. A smile tugged on his lips, music was your common ground with him. He remembered how your eyes twinkled when you talked about your favorite songs. 

   “I recently got into classical music.” Miguel shared. Miguel was half-convinced that he wouldn’t get a reply when you let his words hang in the air while you focused on the task at hand. “Oh? Mahler?’ You finally replied. His eyes widened. “How did you know?” He was greeted with silence again and only then did he appreciate how quick your responses used to be. “I just want to know, because you seemed really confident about it. Did I tell you?” Miguel filled the silence himself. “I just saw it.” You gestured to the screens. He nodded, letting the tense silence take over again. You were never so quiet, he never had to deal with this uncomfortable silence when he was with you. 

    “You changed.” Miguel blurted out. There was no response from you as you continued working on the screens. You didn’t know how to respond either. The news about you being an alternate version of his wife, it was rather overwhelming. You used to spite him and annoy him just for the fun of it, but after everything, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it anymore.  His gaze made you self-conscious now, of what he thought of you, and nor did you want a repeat of what happened that day. You did a lot of thinking the past few days and you had to come to terms with the fact that you didn’t hate Miguel O’Hara. You couldn’t hate him. The thought of him hating you, it was terrifying. 

     “What?” You muttered, Miguel barely caught onto your response. He placed his hands on his hips, looking down. “Look, I’m really sorry for that day and I know I can’t take back anything but I really hope you don’t distance yourself from me because of that.” Miguel swallowed, it was publicly known that the both of you never seemed to get along but the thought of you becoming cold to him made him shiver to his core. “You’re overthinking things.” You stated plainly, forcing out a laugh. Miguel sighed, “You just seem, very different. Let’s not even talk about our interactions. You have just been more distant with everyone, you’re taking things way too seriously and well, you’re a lot more well organised now. The biggest shame was losing the constant smile, boosted many of their morale even in the most difficult of times.” you swallowed bitterly, debating internally if you should snap at Miguel right now while you stared at the screens before you. “I had to work on not being a mess right?” You answered, quoting his exact words. Miguel’s eyes flashed with a hint of pain and you knew it was a low blow. He had already apologised, you’re the one who keeps bringing it up. But those words haunted you even till now. 

    “You really changed huh?” Miguel continued. He didn’t expect you to use his words against him. When you know that he regrets it, it was a low move even for you. “It’s done.” You announced, ignoring his comment towards you. Your patience was thinning again. He merely glanced towards the screens before looking at you again. “You’re not the person I knew,” Miguel stated plainly. You turned your head to him. 

   “I’m not the woman you had in mind, Miguel! I’m not your fucking wife and I’m sorry you had to go through that.” You looked away, running your hands through your hair in distress. “I never was. I’m sorry I remind you of her but I’m not her.” You snapped at him. Walking out of his office.   Everything made sense now. Miguel would be annoyed and frustrated with you most times, but there were times that he acted differently towards you. The times when he had carried you to a more comfortable place when you had fallen asleep on your table, the jackets that he had given to you to keep you warm still hung in your closet. The late-night conversations where he was more vulnerable towards you and had conversations with you about your interests while you hung from the ceiling, claiming that it helped you stay awake while you sift through the paperwork with him. You found it weird how he could hate your guts one second but be even sweet to you when it was just the two of you. At one point, you even thought you had fallen for Miguel O’Hara. 

   You shook your head, ignoring Miguel behind you as you rid the thought of even entertaining a possibility with Miguel. He never treated you as you are, he never liked you for who you are. 

  You simply shared a face and name with the woman he was destined to fall for. 

   You chuckle at how foolish you were while you stepped on the watch that Peter had given to you as replacement for your old one. 

   “I fucking quit.” You announced to a surveillance camera in the hallway, knowing fully well that he is monitoring the camera for your whereabouts now. 

Miguel angrily swept the files off his table, growling out in frustration. He buried his face in his hands, he never saw you as the woman who he had fallen for and had Gabriella with. Sure, there were a few times your identical looks made his heart pace with what could have been. However, Miguel had started spending more time with you and getting to know you as a person. In those times, he reckoned he enjoyed it too much.

There was no way he was falling for you right?

Was there a point even if he did? You had already left him.

Miguel O'Hara always messes up his own happiness. That seems more like his canon event than falling in love with you.

[lelanida]

The dualism of Sky. A small essay.

Vincent Diamante, maestro, we don't deserve you. Music is the heart and soul of Sky. It's not the face of the game, no. Music does not try to attract attention and force you to interrupt the gameplay in order to enjoy it. Instead, it works for the atmosphere, not just without overriding everything else but also giving other aspects leadership positions. Sky's music is patiently waiting for you to pay attention to it. And since we're all here, let's appreciate it.

Sky has two main leitmotifs. The first is the theme of our first flight on the Isle of Dawn. It also plays during the loading of the game during the daytime. The second is the "Flight" by Aurora. Not many people pay attention to this, but these two melodies accompany us (in one form or another) in a bunch of other compositions. "The first flight" sounds at moments of special emotional uplift and "Flight" at moments of decline. You may think: "Well, what's the big deal? The music, written at a time when lore was still important, contains an interesting subtext.". But it's not that simple. I listened to the rest of Sky ost. I have tracked the use of these leitmotifs, and I can say with confidence that these two themes never play together. The composition either uses only one of the leitmotifs, or both, but at different ends of the song... ...I was thinking until I listened to the soundtrack of the season of prophecy.

The theme that sounds when you complete the trial. In it, both leitmotifs are woven together.

This is the ONLY theme in the entire game built in this way. I sat in a stupor for a while and was about to bury this musical analysis. But then it hit me. What was the season of prophecy about anyway? No, not about the trials. NO, not about the extra candle cakes. The season of prophecy was about Alef.

The theme of passing the trial is the theme of Alef. And it combines two opposing leitmotivs.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, get ready for madness because this simple detail puts everything in its place.

As soon as I found out about the existence of the Megabird in lore of Sky, this character immediately interested me. I liked how she was essentially detached from the whole action, but at the same time, incredibly tightly woven into it. Megabird is Sky's phenomenon whose potential TGC is afraid to exploit.

I have always been confused by the generally accepted image of a Megabird. She is always portrayed as a powerful, very wise, prudent, and merciful being. The true and only ruler of this world. Everyone was pleased. But not me. And the most important thing is that I couldn't explain why! Something inside me subconsciously resisted the concept of monotheism within the framework of Sky, but there was no specific reason. I had a feeling that it was simply... wrong. And now I realized: This is indeed wrong! Megabird, as the only deity, will actually break the whole system!

Sky is steeped in dualism. It's always one thing against another. I mean:

Life and death.

Nature and machine.

Sky and ground.

Descendants and ancestors.

Children and elders.

Light and darkness.

In this, Sky is different from Journey. In Journey, you didn't have a clear enemy. Journey taught that you can become your own enemy. The ancient civilization destroyed itself, not someone from outside. And the messengers must step over themselves, and themselves only in order to be reborn. Journey taught you to look into yourself. Sky is about something else.

Even though the concepts of these games are similar, Sky is a fundamentally different game. Sky is about joining up with others. Therefore, Sky sets a clear boundary between "we" and "they". And I'm not saying it's a bad thing. Otherwise, this system simply would not have worked. In Sky, everything has an opposing force. The other side of the coin, if you please.

Megabird just can not be the only deity. This contradicts the whole system, starting from philosophy and ending with music. Someone, something, sentient, unsentient, there MUST BE SOMETHING on the other side. That's why I made Angst.

Let's return to the topic of the two leitmotifs and the Alef. The system of confrontation between the two sides can give us an answer to another question.

What is "the void"?

We know that after the explosion of the crystal, Alef fell in a kind of "void", from which he still has not found a way out. But what kind of place is this? Many people used to think that this is something like a dimension of darkness. But I can disagree with this.

At first It is logical: Alef was imprisoned in a darkstone crystal and fell into darkness. But I have a question: Why does this "darkness" charge us?

The void is not darkness. If it was the darkness, it would have extinguished the skykids' cores in the blink of an eye. The void is the place BETWEEN light and darkness.

Alef, the child of light, was imprisoned in a darkstone crystal, the gift of darkness. Together, they created a new, third kind of energy. Chaotic, unpredictable, wrong. Alef has united in himself, things that, according to the laws of this world, cannot be combined. Therefore, it is his theme that connects the two main leitmotivs of the game. The Alef was on both sides at the same time.

But you can't be on two sides. You're either light or dark, or you're not on anyone's side, like ancestors were. At the moment of the Shattering, Alef literally tore the fabric of the Sky universe itself. That's why he got into the void. After all, if he does not obey the fundamental law of this world, then he has nothing to do in this world.

The void is the space between light and darkness. Like a number divided by zero, the void is negligible, but at the same time infinite. It is a mirror that doesn't allow energy to mix. Therefore, the floor in it charges us. The void reflects our own light back into the cape.

That's why the Megabird sends us to die in Eden. With our sacrifice, we repeat the same shattering on a reduced scale and fall into the void to the Alef. But Alef sacrifices a fragment of his former power to bring us back to the side of light. And when that happens, the void just pushes us out.

Something like that.

[zeroducks-2]

You know there really is something poetic about the fact that Flash and Reverse keep bringing each other back intentionally. Like they’re not each others lightning rods so they have to try and bring the other back. At this point Reverse seems to have won if you really look at it. They’re two sides of the same devoted coin and Barry Allen needs Eobard Thawne the same way Eobard needs him.

Sweetheart, they very much ARE each other's Lightning Rod.

Eobard is the only one person in the whole multiverse who was able to bring Barry back after Barry had been dead for 23 years. Iris (who by the way is the reason or at least part of the reason why Barry died in the first place), didn't even FEEL that Barry had returned once Eobard had brought him back. Wally, who keeps saying he is Barry's Lightning Rod, was never able to pull Barry out of the speedforce.

It is kind of subtle because there is no moment in which Eobard uses the words "Lightning Rod" and I don't think he likes the expression, but that's very much what happened in the Rebirth Mini. He did the unthinkable (made himself the NSF), physically walked into the Speed Force and pulled Barry out. And Geoff Johns, being as subtle as a brick, had a panel of Eobard standing next to a huge lightning rod lol.

And when it comes to Barry? Well, Barry very much uses the Lightning Rod expression. And at the end of Finish Line he does accept/admits to being Eobard's Lightning Rod.

When it comes to how they need to actively WANT to bring each other back, I think it's partially due to the fact that these are not "just" speedsters; Barry is the Speed Force personified, and Eobars is the Negative Speed Force personified, and this again is explained pretty well in the Rebirth Mini. So yeah, they are very much two sides of the same coin and it makes SENSE that they're each other's lodestone.

But it's not always intentional anyway. Barry did not consciously brought Eobard back to life at the beginning of Running Scared. He was feeling guilty because he didn't manage to save him in The Button, and apparently he wanted him back. Same thing happened when Barry summoned a lightning storm that very precisely hit Iron Heights and again very precisely crushed Eobard's cell and his restraints, without hurting him, in order to set him free - Barry did not do this knowingly, he was worried because Daniel had been taken from Iron Heights and brought to Belle Reve, and subsequently he had died in a Task Force X mission, and in his fear that this could happen to Eobard too, his powers manifested and broke him out of prison.

It's the same thing as when lightning strikes and saves August's life by turning him into a speedster. Or when it keeps striking and turns some hundred people into speedsters because baby feels lonely. Barry doesn't do this consciously; as he hasn't accepted that he is the Speed Force, his powers come out following his desires or his fears.

That being said, there is a very important component of reciprocity when it comes to lightning rods. When Linda forgot about Wally, Wally was unable to leave the timestream because even if she very much is his Lightning Rod, she couldn't be that for him at that time, because she didn't remember him. It's not an automatic thing: if tomorrow Linda stopped loving Wally, she wouldn't be his Lightning Rod anymore despite how much he loves her. Which leads me to believe that despite not fully realizing it in a conscious manner, Barry and Eobard know and they look for each other subconsciously, and they keep each other grounded to the timeline.

Again you are correct, Eobard very much won. Barry didn't care about him ONE BIT back in the Silver Age, Eobard was just a nuisance with superpowers. And now Eobard is his lodestone, the darkness to his light, and even the voice of reason sometimes. Like when in Knight Terrors he's pretty much the only one telling Barry "this is a nightmare, wake up".

[deathsbestgirl]

So Never Again. Just saw this post and the way she looks up at him there is on a level with Mulder’s famous Fallen Angel eyes and his reaction to her? He doesn't melt? He chooses violence and being a dick? Please tell me why.

i LOVE this question because it is so easy to see it from scully's perspective. it's her episode. but you really have to think about mulder's perspective.

for mulder, this seems out of nowhere, and in his mind she was extremely inattentive with his informant on a case he's taking seriously. he doesn't understand what she's really asking or what the problem is, and a big part of that is she doesn't exactly either. it's almost like she's blaming him for the stand still in her life, but at the same time wants to be seen & appreciated (in a way that she understands, can feel, can see). and i don't think she could have figured it out the way she needed to with mulder. she needed the safety of talking to a stranger, someone inconsequential to her life. (like there's no way she could have that "other fathers" conversation with him lol) so ed jerse is the one to give her that. (she does with ed what she can't yet do with mulder. something neither of them are ready for and she isn't brave enough to do yet. and like. idk i just think she needed this! regardless of mulder lol)

like: "this isn't about you. or maybe it is, indirectly. i don't know." the one thing she got right is "i don't know" lol so of course mulder is confused!!

if you place leonard betts first, she's contemplating what she's leaving behind. has she had any impact working on the x files? on mulder? who is going to remember her? what evidence of her life will be left? in that office...it looks like she's had very little effect. (but i do not subscribe to this one.)

if never again is first, which i like better lollll (it makes more sense to me. i understand why people like lb first, it's more clear cut. it puts a reason behind her behavior. but i just don't think it quite fits. scully literally doesn't know what's wrong. if she was already worried about cancer, i think it would come across differently. but she's frustrated & confused and she wants for something she can't admit, express, pinpoint, articulate? idk what word i'm looking for lol) scully's just hit that point in her pattern again, her cycle...it took her four years, and after some rough cases (paper hearts – she couldn't help mulder despite how she tried, el mundo gira – a dead end. and idk, so many of their cases. and she's always wrong, he always does the crazy thing, he's always hurt)...well anyway, at the end he's still asking "all because i didn't get you a desk?" he still isn't quite understanding, until she says it's her life and he almost says "yes but it's become mine." he doesn't say it, they sit in silence, and in leonard betts, he tells her she did a good job & should be proud. all his little jokes like he's trying to make her laugh, to get back to their usual banter. because he wants to make her smile. so he understood at least a little by leonard betts. but they also come to a silent understanding. i just love the way kae talks about it. and i think the end is kind of the explanation for the beginning. the end is the real answer to the whole episode, and what it took to get there...and this post here, kae just understands him and talks about him in a way that i feel. it's exactly what i see in a way i could never articulate. (and she does my favorite thing!!! connects different moments. the characterization is so good.) and she has such a special insight to both of them, different patterns, but to me two sides of the same coin.

and so, either way, at the beginning of never again, he's completely thrown because he doesn't know. this is when their bad verbal communication and personal issues/insecurities/fears take hold. they're both so good at taking too much responsibility.

we're seeing into scully's mind a bit, but we aren't really seeing into his. but he's afraid, he doesn't want her to leave (something he's feared for a long time), he thinks space is the answer to whatever's going on. but he's also kinda needy and he can't just say that. so he calls her and they misunderstand each other again and she makes a date. he isn't trying to be an ass but he's scared & defensive, and he gets like that when she makes him nervous. like whenever she believes (beyond the sea, revelations, all souls, en ami). it feels like that to me. he's afraid, but this time he thinks he's the problem, their work is the problem. and he kinda said the worst thing he could say to her at that moment. "you were just assigned" — he has no idea how she understood that, how it hurts her. (and she's not thinking about how he means it, what he thinks/feels/fears.) and really, it's because she sucks at just saying the thing as much as he does. it takes them a long time to work out their direct communication. their unspoken communication, the way they work on their cases doesn't translate to their personal relationship. as intimate as their partnership is, working through their own issues takes time and it's those things that hinder them moving forward for so long. ya know?

i think @randomfoggytiger talks about it beautifully here — in depth essay on never again. here they touch on mulder's fear/walls & scully's insecurities/needs. it's a journey!! which they talk about here. and i forget what this one was (lol) but i'm sure i saved it for a reason: a little master post. i love the way foggy breaks things down, especially visually. it's something i could never do.

i also reblogged some other never again posts. not completely on topic but it's all connected!! (you can definitely go through my never again tag to see more probably too!)

[fannyyann]

hi! I’m not really sure why so many people ship mattdrai, and I was just wondering what it is about them that you like personally? I’m not usually someone who can see ships unless they have a lot of “canon” content, and I’ve seen them only interact like twice. can you help me see it?

hiiiii anon! i like mattdrai so much because as individuals matthew and leon are veeeery similar. they're two sides of the same "yappy alternate captain who likes to start shit and is obsessed with his quieter captain" coin and from the interactions they have had on the ice it's very clear that they have FUN riling each other up and that kind of dynamic has always been my favorite across all my fandoms.

also, i definitely get where you're coming from with canon content but from a writing and creating stand point it's sooooo fun to not really have anything but their personalities and canon events to work with!

but before i link you to the mattdrai primer, and some of my favorite canon moments, i'm going to say something super insane and say if canon ships are more your speed you should definitely just get into all matthew and his teammates because there's sooooo much good stuff going on in the panthers locker room lmao

anyway, here's a pretty comprehensive primer for their ~lore up to November 2023 and a list of things not mentioned in it but i'm constantly thinking about:

that time leon very gently grabbed matthew by the waist to pull him away from mike smith

(much funnier and compelling behavior because darnell nurse comes in after this and just pulls matthew back by the neck)

2. the way leon is pretty well known for zooming into scrums when connor's involved, but has been known to just stand by and watch while connor and matthew get into it.

like here in round 2:

and then again earlier this season:

(this is THE most compelling thing about matthew and leon's actual canon, like WHY DOES HE DO THAT?? what's different about matthew???)

3. that time in december 2022 one of the oilers' charity partners chirped matthew in the comments of one of leon's friends & family puma sponcons and instead of deleting the comment, he just deleted the whole post (which, if you scroll through his feed, you know he doesn't delete his sponcon posts lmao)

4. and then of course, my favorite hidden gem, the fact that matthew got some of his game worn jerseys from the 2023 asg signed by all the guys there, and then all the guys from the atlantic team (8:05), so somewhere in matthew's possession he has a jersey he asked leon to sign :')

[shmowder]

I have a very important Patho character question which characters do you think would have a cat? If they could? Personally I think of one character who strikes me as a cat person for sure but that’s probably like the most obvious candidate for that

Ah yes the most obvious candidate

the candidate that is the most likely to be a cat person

The Pathologic character candidate

Of course I know them duh. It's so obvious I don't even need to name them

Anyway here's the tierlist.

I debated whether Dankovsky would be a cat or dog person, I settled on dog because he likes having control. But I don't see him as a pet person at all. He prefers observing animals and reading about them, not interacting with them. Dogs he can stand if they behave, but he absolutely won't entertain someone's cat or bird if he was a guest at their house.

Anna wouldn't want any pets but if she could stand an animal, a cat would be the best choice sine they tend to be the cleanest.

I like the Idea of Rubin taking care of a kitten and raising it into a cute cuddly cat that brightens his day. That man deserves happiness.

I also like the idea of him and Artemy being so big and scary yet end up having cats as pets. Artemy's cat could either be a stray that adopts itself into his life or a cat that Isidor used to take care of and now it follows Artemy.

Aglaya would like dogs for their loyalty rather than the need to control them, she'd still admire cats for their freedom and cleverness.

Yulia desperately wants a cat but I think she is scared deep down of getting too attached to it, especially with no veterinarian in town and how devastated she'd be if her cat passes away. So she skips on the whole ordeal. She pspspsps at strays when no one is looking tho, shares some of her food with them.

Alexander Saburov seems the type to have a childhood dog he grew very attached to. He doesn't fully understand cats and doesn't like that they can't be trained but he'd still do his best to take care of one if it became his pet.

I think it's very ironic how much Khan resembles an indoor domestic spoiled cat personality wise yet he is the leader of the dogheads. My theory is that he tried petting a cat one and it scratched him and he held a grudge ever since so he always claims that dogs are better.

Maria would get a black cat thinking it will help her appear more fearsome in the town people's eyes, only for the cat to end up being the most loving adorable ball of pure abyss. She would kill for her cat and keeps it protected safe inside her room, she plays with the cat and showers it in compliments and kisses after locking the door to make sure no one walks in on her showing her soft side. If this was the modern world, Maria would have so many pictures of her adorable black fluffball playing with her expensive pearl necklace or rolling around her priceless silky sheets.

Notkin already has a cat, even tho he himself has the personality of a loyal dog. Cats scratching him didn't deter him but made him learn to respect animal boundaries.

Mark Immortell's cat is the incarnation of a hell cat, the most evil sinister and annoying thing that will slap you with its paws for giving it any non luxury brand cat food. They're two sides of the same coin and only he and his cat understand each other.

Katerina's position is a pun. Yk cats eat mice and the rat prophet and all, so she never wants a cat around.

Sticky seems like he'd take care of strays because he sees himself in them. He understands cats better than anyone, he too hates being disturbed and likes spending time alone. And he is also endlessly curious. He takes it upon himself to feed Murky and give her candy at the start of the game just when she starts frequenting the haruspex lair.

Murky learned from him, she probably used to leave cats bowls of milk before Sticky informed her it's actually bad for them and they can't have milk.

-

If it wasn't limited to cats, a bird would suit Eva much more because they thrive under attention and require so much love and care. Owning a bird, let alone an exotic one like a parrot is almost a full time job.

Artemy has his bull pet in canon, I think Oyun used to have one too. It would be adorable if Murky just led a baby calf home once because she found it alone outside and Artemy just accepted it as a new part of the family.

The Kains do already have pets, the human kind. Aka the Stamatins. But if they absolutely had to pick a different one, I see the Judge maintaining a pristine aquarium for the most beautiful fish you've ever seen. It takes dedication, time, knowledge and lots of money. The fish might end up as the family pet as every person chips in every once in a while, Victor fixing the water filter etc.

The Stamatins themselves would probably keep lizards, maybe even snakes. I don't think they know how to take care of pets or even want to learn. However I do see them sharing custody over a pet rabbit when they were just kids. It drove Peter crazy because it kept eating his canvasses. So Andrey took it with him outside most of the time. It ended up getting picked off by a hawk. The two brothers spent the remainder of the week setting up a trap to kill the hawk and avenge their pet.

[andorerso]

sissi hello!! in regards to the post about ocs, i would LOVE to hear more about dani and elijah 💜 (partly bc i love both of those names so so much, always have, and that intrigues me instantly).

hope you're having a wonderful day!

rolling up almost two months later like hiiiiii <3 sorry it took me so long to answer ahfgdchg

but first of all, thank you for asking because I love talking about them, second of all, I'm so happy you like the names because I do too 🥰 well obviously, I wouldn't have chosen them otherwise, but I'm very particular about names and they have to feel right, and this was one of those instances when I almost instantly knew their names, like it was just fate. meant to be. and I think they sound nice together!! anyway, I'll stop ranting about names now

so, the story is urban fantasy, and their tropes are slowburn, mutual pining, idiots to lovers, battle couple, codependency, angstttttt, two sides of the same coin, flirty & awkward, snarky & serious, impulsive & rational, short-tempered & calm

Dani (full name Danielle Preston but she hates being called Danielle) is our leading lady, she's in her mid-20s, and she's the flirty, snarky, impulsive, short-tempered side of the two. she's always cracking a joke, which is mostly a self-defense mechanism, and tends to cover up real feelings with humor, sex and booze. I have such a soft spot for characters who'd rather cut open a vein than show weakness or vulnerability in front of someone, but still deeply care about people and are intensely loyal if you earn it, so she's kinda that archetype. she'd literally burn down a whole city for someone she loves but will never actually say the words. also she's bisexual like almost all my MCs

here's kind of how I imagine her (made with this picrew)

and Elijah is the more level-headed, serious, all business no fun counterpart to Dani's generally chaotic behavior. he's a couple hundred years old, and not human, but he looks to be in his early 30s. he's very matter-of-fact, goal-oriented, and pragmatic, but he's also very kind to those who deserve it, and can be surprisingly intense and passionate when he actually lets himself feel it (which is not very often, at least not at first). he has a very strong sense of justice, but he kind of follows his own moral code, so he definitely falls into the morally grey category (Dani kind of does too, but Elijah even more so)

here's a picrew for him too

as for their relationship, it starts as kind of an unwilling partnership and they clash a lot at the beginning because of their different approaches and worldviews, but they eventually form a friendship. Elijah's kind of drawn to her/fascinated by her from the start, because she's so different from him but has a lot of the qualities he admires/wishes he had too. Dani takes a bit longer mostly because she's better at lying to herself lmao. but there's an attraction of sort from the beginning. it's a difficult ride, mostly because they're both stubborn idiots who tend to repress their emotions, just in different ways. she's lost people and is afraid to lose more, and he's just not sure he knows how to allow himself to want things and be a functioning human person, so neither wants a relationship and they're both violently trying to deny any feelings. but the feelings are definitely there. like they're not together but they're deeply devoted but they will never admit it but there's no one else who could possibly compare. those kinda vibes, you know?

some other tidbits/details that I love about them: she loves to antagonize him (mostly in a teasing way) and he's so offended/annoyed at first until he realizes it's her love language. then the annoyance turns into fond exasperation. she's pretty much the only one who can make him genuinely smile and laugh, in fact sometimes he's the only one who actually finds her funny at all lmao (she definitely overdoes it sometimes but he finds it charming). she's a bit of a romantic deep down, and he's very intensely devoted once he commits, so it's the kind of relationship she always secretly wanted but never thought could have. and he's the only person she will tolerate calling her Danielle (it's kind of a turn-on from him).

anyway, I could go on but it's gonna get long very quickly, so this is just the basics. but I love talking about them and I'm always open to more specific questions from anyone <3

also here's a moodboard too because why not

[sp1cychamm0y]

Heads up: This is about the anti-Wavewave post and why I think it’s a bit silly, your fully welcome to ignore or disagree

It’s crazy how pressed people get about ship discourse (and I’m sorry you gotta deal with that dawg that blows) like, yeah you may find ships in a character tag, it’s always gonna happen, but like you said, you can filter tags out. Plus these fictional characters aren’t even human, and while that may mean they don’t feel attraction like people do, they could still have their hot crazy alien robot sex. (Its two sides of the same coin in my opinion) It’s not like they’re teenagers in some anime that makes it a bit weird, they’re;

1). Not humans

2). Fully realized, consenting adults

And I wouldn’t view it as homophobia due to the fact that the majority of the cast are male (or male coded at least due to the whole they’re alien robots and gender’s a human thing) so obviously most ships are gonna be MLM. Plus Soundwave and Shockwave don’t really interact with female characters as far as I can recall. 🤷

What’s even weirder is the “maybe they’re bothers, they call each other brother (as in comrade)” but like, the arguably BIGGEST ship in this franchise is MegOP and they also refer to each other as “brother” but nobody bats an eyelash to that (Not even gonna start on Thundercraker/SkyWarp/Starscream which is a pretty popular ship for being the closest one to insecst, not bashing but yk)

From my experience fandom shipping is when you take the character you project onto or find relatable and the character/characters you like/find attractive and make them kiss. And people DONT HAVE to interact with that if they don’t like it, especially in NSFW spaces. I’m mean we’re all adults here (or at least we SHOULD BE if we’re in a NSFW space, but that’s a separate problem…) and should be able to handle things like adults, but I digress.

Sorry for leaving this huge rant in you inbox but I don’t think you (I know it’s not you specifically but still) should be getting second hand bashed for your opinions on who should hold hands

Anyways I hope you have a nice rest of your day/night!

no yeah thanks, and i totally agree with you. I take keeping minors out of nsfw spaces very seriously. i didnt want this to get too dramatic and i apologize if i make anyone uncomfortable but yeah i repeat, filter your tags, block me i dont care i promise

[orangechickenpillow]

Hello, fellow enjoyer of BG3/Prospect/Arcane/The Ghoul Boys/TAD/WWDITS/probably other things I've yet to discover because you clearly have stellar taste in media! ✨

I wanted to throw an idea at you that has been rotting my brain: TAD songs for BG3 characters.

"Inkpot Gods" simply IS Wyll and Karlach. "The Old Witch Sleep and The Good Man Grace" might seem the obvious choice for Astarion but I would like to make an argument that "Farewell Wanderlust" is even better. "The Horror and The Wild" is Karlach's all on her own. "Elsa's Song" is giving Gale for some reason? Unsure why.

Anyway, sorry for the random long-ish ask. But what do you think? :D

Ahhhh thank you so much. I've seen you in my notifs and am happy to report that we're officially best friends now <3

Thank you so much for throwing this idea at me holy shit???? I went back and listened to all three TAD albums specifically to answer this, so.... yeah, we're definitely best friends.

I'm loving what you've got so far -- Inkpot Gods works so perfectly for the Avernus duo, and honestly could be the theme song for bg3 in general. Jesus christ, what a song, am I right. Farewell wanderlust is sooooo Astarion I'm going to lose my mind about it I mean be totally normal. Also I feel like it fits Lae'zel really well too. I actually found that a lot of songs I liked for Astarion worked for Lae just as well. Interesting. Anyway, during my trillionth re-listen to the TAD albums here are the notes I took on my phone lmao:

Love Run for Wyll. The wholesome, strong, hopefulness this song radiates fits him so well. It's also really fucking romantic, and so is he.

I also think that Two Minutes is fitting for him. That whole vibe of an abandoned child, of someone who is so tired and beaten down by life but still manages to keep going despite it all. I really adore Wyll, and the more romantic TAD songs fit him perfectly.

I love Wild Blue Yonder for Karlach. It's silly but heartfelt, and so full of yearning. It has a light approach to life while still acknowledging how hard things can be, and that's just so Karlach. Also, "We don't know what's out there -- could be ghosts or monsters, or a robot vampire, I don't know" sounds like something she would say lol

You're so right about The Horror and the Wild. That's just. Karlach and Gortash. "Give me back my heart you wingless thing" are you fucking kidding me right now, I'm going to pull a Karlach and explode.

Also I think The Horror and the Wild fits Astarion equally well. I'll always yammer on about how Astarion and Karlach are two sides of the same coin, and this song is a great representation of that. "You passed your fingers through my hair and called me child -- witness me, old man, I am the wild" -- Astarion and Cazador. Please send help, I am ill over this and will not be recovering.

"Think of all the horrors that I promised you I'd bring" Karlach. Astarion. Shadowheart. Lae'zel. Literally help me.

Blossoms for Gale. It's a very intense song, but it's also weary. It's strong but desperate, yet determined. I also think it fits him as the one who would be leading the group if Tav wasn't around. It's a somber and dramatic song, but it's ultimately fueled by tender love. Sound like anyone else we know?

Similarly to you pairing him with Elsa's Song (which I love btw), I think The Rockrose and the Thistle is VERY Gale (and, dare I say, bloodweave? The singer begging to die and the other person "sewing" them back together??? Hello?????) Just like the more romantic songs fit Wyll, the quieter, more subdued songs fit Gale. I think those songs really capture desperation in its most potent form, and Gale is kind of like the human version of that (sorry Gale)

Okay, New York Torch Song could be any of the ladies. Literally any of them. It's perfect. This one also makes me think of Karlach and Wyll.

I adore That Unwanted Animal for Astarion. The helplessness paired with the subtle sense of revenge and violence. The sexual tones throughout. The lack of romance.

I like The Old Witch Sleep and the Good Man Grace for Astarion, and I also really like it for Lae'zel. Her whole being raised by a cult thing really aligns with the vibe of the song -- being told that you're one thing and having to fight to be anything else, the desperation of feeling like you have no purpose. Fighting it all and coming out on top anyway. The steady increase in the intensity of the song representing getting your power back. It's so herrrrrr

King fits her well too. This song is so badass. I think it represents the soldier archetype well. It's cool, she's cool, it's perfect.

Pray makes me think of Shadowheart. Obviously the religious tone of the song fits her well, but also its pure spite. It's really giving "abandoned daughter" vibes, which is perfect for her. Also, "honey I'm no man, I'm what's left when children go to war" are you fucking kidding me.

Anywayyyyy, this was long, yikes. I have a lot of Thoughts as you can see. Thank you SO much for letting me yap about two of the things I love very much and might be obsessed with, who knows. I'll end by officially asking for your hand in marriage <3

[tobiasdrake]

We have a terrible plan but it's the best we can do under these circumstances. Let's go get us a ship.

If we're still on the ship when it un-dusks, is that bad for us? Do we know?

Also, Teaks said it was imprisoned in a perpetual storm, but apparently it flickers in and out of reality? That was bugging me when we saw it do that the first time. Is the perpetual storm on the other side of the flicker?

This seems way more complicated than "Angry ghost captain summoned a furious storm." Do we know... anything? I mean, I assume not because it's one of those "If no one lived to tell the tale then who told the tale?" kind of things. If no one's ever been to the Vespertine and come back then no, we don't know anything. How would we?

Imagine signing on to a pirate journey for a specific mission and then being told you can't participate in the one thing you were here to do. They should mutiny. And by mutiny, I mean sneak around behind our backs to come along anyway.

It's what we'd do. With Garl. Specifically.

...Garl over here proudly displaying the scars of my mistakes and meanwhile Patches is over there with perfectly fine eyes covered by two eyepatches and he is not sharing.

There is logic in what the Captain's saying. But I nonetheless can't endorse it because y'all know what we'd be doing in the crew's shoes. Our history speaks for itself.

I dunno. Maybe these pirates are better disciplined than Solstice Warriors are. I thought we were the upstart renegades against proper protocol but Bugraves and Erlina blew us right out of the water in the field of doing what you aren't supposed to. Our disobediences look quaint by comparison.

I guess Moraine isn't a very good indoctrinator. He's been a dismal failure at passing along dogma and shaping belief systems in his students. The Solstice Warriors simply aren't up to the same standards of conformity, blind faith, and rigid structuralism that you so famously find in piracy.

Okay, enough sad reflection. We're on a mission to steal a legendary vessel from a captain with no ownership of it using a magical artifact we no longer possess. Gonna need my game face on because unwarranted confidence is the only asset we have right now.

Ghost ship? More like toast ship amirite?

Look, I was thinking about other stuff, not working on zingers. Point is, we're awesome. What they got? Crusty old bones? Ask Roro how well that went for her!

So what if we lost the coin. We're still going to get the ship. We just have to use Plan B. Don't worry, everybody has a price when the currency is violence.

Oh, I'm ready. I am focused and--

Hold up, if we can control the cycle of night and day, can't we just rewind the clock to the night of the eclipse for another eclipse boost? We have technology in place to do this; Why aren't we using this ability to spam eclipses whenever we--

Oh hey Serai. When did you get here? And where did the pirates go?

...

Oh shit. I mean. WHOA! You were Captain Cliche this WHOLE TIME!? I am both shocked and honored that.... No, sorry, I can't do it.

Same reason you don't call someone out as gay no matter how transparent their glass closet is. I'm a firm believer in identity authoritarianism. You want to present as Mysterious Masked Figure, I'm not gonna stop you.

But now that we're actually having this conversation, yes, everyone already knew.

Don't think of it as losing the macguffin. Think of it as buying a supremely talented chef who will support the ungodly amounts of violence we are about to inflict.

That's okay, your plan was always bad anyway. You should have spent some time at camp talking to Teaks.

Honestly, after our trip to the Dweller's mansion, I'm looking forward to a return to the pleasant simplicity of bashing zombie skulls until they stop moving. Been warming my beatstick in anticipation.

Yeah, we're stupid like that.

Anyway, HANDS IN THE AIR. This is a robb-- Wait, no, that was yesterday. Sorry. Wrong script. Ahem. This is a shipjacking. Still larceny, different genre.

Ha! Success! Now to find out if we die!

Oh, pleasantries! Yeah, nice to meet you. I'm guessing you must be the navigator who wanted a better life? Did they make you captain after the mutiny?

Really should have demanded more than one curse-breaker soulstone from Roro. At the very least, instructions on how to make them would be nice to have, if we're going to keep involving ourselves with every curse on the planet.

Anyways, back to business.

This is a shipjacking. How do you say "Hand 'er over" in pirate curse? In any case, I know it doesn't look like it but Serai is definitely pointing a gun at you right now.

^_^ I'm the gun.

Technically, that only proves that one of us is real. The rest could still be imaginary.

Zale and I are too associated with each other and Serai showed up late in the game. So if one of us is meandering around having hallucinations of companionship, it's probably Garl. This whole thing could be a story he's making up in his head, thinking about the dear friends that were taken from him and who left him alone in childhood.

Probably not, though. I'm sure you're fine, Garl.

We also have a whole fifth person stuffed in his backpack!

Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Hortence. I would shake your hand but you're dead, ethereal, and possibly on fire.

In any case, I was already on your side of this argument from before we even met so I'd be happy to beat Stormcaller with a stick until he relents. Then you can retire to the unlife you wanted from the start and/or pass on, and we can take your ship.

Everybody wins. Except Stormcaller. But, y'know, fuck him.

The rest of the crew are brainless undead now. Unfortunate, but convenient. It means we don't need to worry about their opinions of the deal we're making.

Sucks for them. They all died for the Captain's hissy fit, which they were specifically trying to end by getting rid of the little shit. The crew did nothing wrong. They're as much victims of Stormcaller's unreasonable tantrum as Hortence is.

But it's super convenient for us that only one person has any ownership claim to this vessel now, and it's the person who wanted to leave from the start. That will help our shipjacking go super smoothly.

Oh, there's a third option. We buy him out. Everyone has a price when the currency--

Goddammit, I already used that line. I wasted it on you, Serai. Why did I do that? I didn't need to impress you! You already think I'm cool!

Okay. But. Counterpoint. I hit things really, really hard. It's hard to do magic when you're being hit really, really hard. There's a game mechanic for that and everything.

Considering everything that we came from on Wraith Island? Yes. I do feel good about our chances here.

[takaraphoenix]

Shadow and Bone: Season 2 Darklina Review

Okay, one more SaB season 2 review, this one very specifically only about Darklina. Felt wrong to put it into the main review because it would have taken like two third of the review probably.

I’ve never made a ship-specific review for a show before, but I have so many thoughts about them after this season, so here we go.

This ship just makes me feel unhinged to a degree I am not used to? I honestly think I usually feel pretty... normal... about my ships? Even when I love them a lot and they evoke strong feelings in me, but something about Darklina is incomprehensible to me.

Part of it, clearly, is the incredible amount of chemistry between their actors. I mean, that’s just off the charts, the eye-fuckery between them in delicious, they put so much passion into their scenes, it’s amazing. Not just their romantic scenes in season 1, but also their scenes in season 2. Even their enemy scenes are filled to the brim with so much raw passion.

But it’s also the writing. Which I find confusing because I’ve heard it, repeatedly, that the author apparently doesn’t even... like... Aleksander...? Or the ship? And I’m... Look, there is the very simple nature of hero/villain ships in that they will always happen on account of people wanting to ship heroes and villains, regardless of how much you want to discourage them.

But the writing on this doesn’t discourage it, it encourages it to levels that I’ve rarely seen. I mean, they crammed legitimate soulmate tropes into this show. Things happened these season that I have used in fanfiction as “soulmate AU” plotlines.They had shared dreams. Not even just shared dreams, but they could talk to each other in these shared dream spaces.

The whole “two sides of the same coin” and “the light and the darkness” and the sun and moon symbolism is the obvious one, it’s wildly beloved, we’ve seen it in season 1 already. It’s catnip for villain/hero ships.

But now they added literal soulmate AU tropes into the mix and I’m not supposed to be madly deeply into this...? I don’t really know how that’s thought through.

Alina’s wanted poster was actual fanart of Darklina. She was wanted for fanfiction plot. I would actually like to read that alternate timeline she was wanted for. That was a great pitch. I’ve seen someone say that was supposed to mock Darklina shippers? I’m sorry? There was art of my ship in canon and the entire country thought they were some badass power couple why was I supposed to feel mocked by that? That evoked a feeling of validation and satisfaction in me...?

I’ll be honest, I was very afraid of season 2 for a multitude of reasons and one of them was Darklina. I loved them in season 1, when they actually got together, but knowing the writer doesn’t like the ship, knowing they wanted to actively discourage shippers, and knowing what other shows/movies like to do when a hero and villain fully find themselves on opposing sides, I really dreaded where season 2 would find Aleksander and Alina.

Part of me feared that they’d make Alina the doe-eyed hero; a very common trope, especially when there are canonical feelings - of any variety - between the hero and the villain is that the hero very desperately and naively tries to reason with the villain and tries to redeem them. And, let’s be real, it would not have been unreasonable to suspect so because with literally everybody else Alina displays a disturbing amount of naivety and forgiveness. Every single person who has backstabbed, betrayed and manipulated her, she has forgiven and let close again without any hesitation.

Anyway, that’s just a dynamic I greatly dislike, it’s not my cup of tea. So I was very pleasantly surprised by the way it went - for one, by just how completely Alina turned against Aleksander, it seemed very extreme especially considering her over-eagerness to forgive virtually everyone else, but also because I really enjoyed it. I didn’t expect that. I mean, I ship them, why would I enjoy them opposing each other this much?

Again, the incredible chemistry between their actors really played into it. Every confrontation between them was so charged it was so intense to watch. There was something so very overwhelming about Jessie and how... powerful she was, when she held her head high against Aleksander. True power couple vibes.

Baghra was also a big part of delivering the ship this season, making Alina confront just how deep the bond between them runs? It just seems like such a choice to put his mom on her side and to have his mom make Alina consider this deep soul connection that she shares with Aleksander. Once again, you write it like that and I’m not supposed to sell my soul to this ship, how?

It was also incredible to me just how much the writers made Mal look like a rebound. Going into this season, I was aware that book canon dictates Mal and Alina would become a couple. But I kind of expected there to be... a build up...? I was bracing myself for them to spend season 2 building up a romance, but they just right away started with them making out. I’m sorry, how can I take this serious as a relationship, she’s been with Aleksander like, what, a week ago? And now she’s making out with Mal?

And the first time she uses the term “love” to describe what’s going on between her and Mal isn’t when she’s with Mal, it’s when she’s with Aleksander, in the dreamspace. And I’m not supposed to take that as her trying to make him jealous?

All I could see was a cheap rebound and I honestly felt bad for the guy. She’s literally standing in a shared mindspace with the man she has a deep soul-connection to, teasing him and using Mal to make him jealous. Unhinged behavior. Excellent. I love it.

Even the corruption arc for Alina!! Because one of the things that get me about Darklina is that I really, truly, genuinely under no circumstances would want a redemption arc for Aleksander - and here I’m cutting a rant that is going to be its own plot probably - I would much rather have a corruption arc for Alina.

Sure, Aleksander died. And I absolutely could have done without that. But... his last act before dying was trying to save her life and that was. Damn. That hit me hard. And then he still died by her hand. And that also hit me hard. But I even kind of liked that? In a poetic sense?

And then the corruption fully kicked in at the end, Alina wields shadows and smiles. Unclear if she smiles because she enjoyed using shadows, or because she enjoyed killing, or because she enjoyed the powers. Maybe all three.

Either way, Baghra talked so much about Morozovas and resurrection and now Alina has these powers and seems to like them and it seems reasonable to assume Alina could or might resurrect Aleksander with them.

Whether or not she does that though, once again I ask, how do you give her his powers, how do you keep condemning him for killing people and then you give her his powers and you make her smile after using these powers to kill someone - and you still don’t want me to ship this? Really?

This ship is so... poetic and intense and it makes me feel so much and I truly can’t comprehend that the writers actively want viewers not to feel that way about this ship because damn, they’re really bad as writers if this is them writing with the intention of “this ship bad :/ these two Not Good Romantic Partners :/”. You can’t pack a dynamic full with so much symbolism, tension and so many romantic tropes and expect people to not be into it.

[carmenized-onions]

Okay so I needed time to let my thots on the carmy pov percolate in my pea brain for a bit before I sent you my thots but FEAR NOT !! im here to send them to you (idk you may not care but I CARE)

N e way these r disorganized bc its been a bit since I read it BUT BUT BUT

Like okay Carmy is me I am Carmy but I am also Tony like I take care of everyone religiously so i feel her pain but I also think everyone hates me and just tolerates me being there and like the fill in line abt Carmy like, wondering if he was just a sub in Mikey absolutely SHATTERED ME like

Also I love the parallel bc like, idk if you did this consciously (im sure you did) but like from Carms al anon thing (one of them, i think from his lil monolog in s1) he said how he thought mikey was his best friend but it turned out he was everyone's best friend and hes realizing Tony isn't just his guy, she's everyone's person, ans like, that would GUT ME

Also also also

Like them sharing spoons is so cute

ALSO TONY REMEMBERING CARMY'S FAV FLAVOR BC MIKEY TOLD THEM THAT IS SOOOOOO

IM SICK IM SO SICK YOU MAKE ME SICK

Anyway as always i am obsessed w Chicago's Finest and with you 🫶🫵

I FEARED!!! I FEARED A LITTLE BIT!! But I'm so glad you're here now. I will literally always care to hear your thoughts.

And yes, yes yes yes. I think a golden not rule but like... Known adage with writers is that with every character you write, you put at least a part of yourself in. And like, listen. I'm the youngest of 3 pursuing a career in the arts that no one understands and I have a heavy inferiority complex.

I am. The bear. So when I write in Carmen's perspective, there's very much a lot of me in there. SO I TOTALLY GET IT. Tony's got the more nuturing side of being the one that takes care of people; Carmen's the aftermath of being the one that takes care of people. Two sides of the same fucked coin.

AND YEEAAHHHH BABY!!! It was like his whole little spiral with like, realizing that you were actually Michael's friend was very much also a part of that. Like, he had finally figured out the fact that Michael was everyone's guy-- And then you show up, and he figures out, oh-- you were Mikey's guy, like, he DID have a best friend, at it was fucking YOU.

And that's where the whole 'he'll never be as close as you two were' comes in, cause you're also everyone's guy, so that really only leaves, two people that are everyone's must also be each other's key guy. Ohhhhh I'm sick. I've made myself sick. I'm tortuous.

THE SORBET WAS VERY CUTE I was sitting staring at default italian ice flavours for a bit and going like,,, hmmmmmm ,,, which one feels right,,,,,, And I feel like black cherry fit best-- But also maybe that's because I fuck with cherry flavours.

ANYWAYS THANK YOU AND I ALSO DIDN'T NOTICE UNTIL RN IT'S KINDEST NOT FINEST!!!! IT'S SO EASY TO MIX UP I DON'T BLAME YOU!!! but whenever the mix up happens i do have to give a little punch buggy ACAB or it's bad luck.

[lynne-monstr]

hi, it's the anon who's stopping by! how are you doing? I hope you're having a nice, relaxing weekend! 💞

things over here are... same old same old, I guess. I'm starting to get frustrated at myself for not being over this whole situation, since it's been almost half a year now since it all started, but it is what it is. there are additional circumstances that make it harder to overcome it all, but still I can't help but get angry at myself sometimes.

anyway that's not why I wanted to stop by, sorry. I saw your post about how sometimes your job feels like herding cats, having to manage a team of programmers, and it made me laugh because it felt a bit like hearing from the other side. I'm also a programmer, and my team has a project owner whom I'm sure we must drive up the wall sometimes with things like the ones you mentioned. my teammates and I need to get him a thank you present for putting up with us. I'm sure your team also appreciates all the effort you put into wrangling them and keeping them on track!

I hope you have a lovely weekend, as always I'm sending you lots of good thoughts and I hope that things keep looking up!! 💞

hi anon, good to see you again! it was in fact a nice weekend (and a very busy one, considering i'm just now catching up with tumblr!) I was visiting some family who lives a little out of town and haha, as often happens, there was drama. ngl i was glad to get home sunday night and have some alone time.

ooof, i can totally relate to the whole not being over a crappy situation. i've been trying to tell myself that it's in my best interests to accept as much as i can and not dwell on it, because otherwise i'll be the one of main forces making myself miserable. but it is not easy! i am trying not to be too hard on myself when it doesn't work out, and I'm sending those same vibes to you!

that's so funny about the programming thing! truly two sides of the same coin. it's definitely a symbiotic relationship; they (hopefully) appreciate me keeping things on track and i definitely appreciate them wanting to make everything work in the most optimal way it can.

also yay, computer high five! (fun fact: i had to learn cobol as part of my undergrad program. i've forgotten most of the details but i like to think that in a worst-case scenario, i can brush up and get a mainframe job lol)

i hope you had a nice weekend!

[pellaaearien]

In shorthand — a lost art, shorthand — he jots down anything and everything he can think of.

Dreams!!!

“Dreaming” = realm?

Tools??

Sister = pale horseman. HER gift!

Two other sisters (NOT horsemen?)

Stories (eating?)

What was in those dreams?

At this last, he puts down the pen. What was in those dreams? Now that he knows his friend was actually present for them, he tries to recall details, but they remain frustratingly elusive.

The dreams were kinder. That much he knows. They’d replayed 1989. 1889 had ended happily. They all had. He thinks about how Dream had very uncharacteristically stumbled over his words as he tried to explain. Weakened… Dreaming in disarray…

Escaped from a century of confinement, and he’d come to Hob for comfort. Fucking Christ. Hob can’t do this.

He lowers his head until it touches the cold formica countertop. It feels good. His brain has been working so much overtime today, he feels feverish.

Never mind that Hob would have provided whatever Dream needed, gladly, with his full faculties. Imprisonment or no. He’d helped Dream. That’s all that matters, in the end.

The problem is, however (and the jury was still out on whether or not Dream understood this), if you gave Hob an inch he would take a mile. Or want to, anyway. And after a hundred and thirty years of famine, Dream had just laid out a feast.

Did he expect Hob not to fall on it like a starving man?

Oh my goodness :) One of my favourite parts :) Of course, Nonnie, I'd love to talk about this!

So first and foremost: we've spent a lot of time in Dream's head so far in this fic. Now we're finally getting some Hob POV, and I wanted to make it clear where he stood. Dream also dropped some pretty bonkers information on him during their conversation, and I started from the point of HOW do you even begin to go about processing something like that? When you've gotten nothing but nothing for six hundred years and suddenly not only do you have a name, but also an apology for the thing you've been beating yourself up over for the past 133 years, plus some information about WHAT your friend is, his powers, his family, your immortality... It's a lot, is what I'm getting at. And I'm a firm believer that Hob, who has lived for a LONG time and has a lot of memories bouncing around up in his old noggin, writes things down. Especially things he needs to work through. (He's a dedicated bujo enthusiast.) BUT, it took six hundred years to get to this point, and he's determined to prove he can be trusted, so he's going to be cautious, hence the shorthand. I must admit that writing that list was a lot of fun, trying to extrapolate what Hob would feel were the most pertinent points, how he would couch them. It delights me how unhinged it looks out of context.

The rest of the passage is more of a meditation on Hob's character as I see it. Hob and Dream are, in fact, the exact same side of the coin. One of the many reasons that Dream is repressed is because he's gone through the entirety of his existence being left behind. Sometimes justifiably! But the lesson he's taken from it is that he should no longer seek companionship. His love is a burden that wilts the ones he bestows it on. He must learn to do without.

(But a relationship is actually his greatest desire, as Night reveals in this heartbreaking exchange):

"But what if I were to make you a perfect little dreamworld, here in Night's realm? With a partner to love you and kiss you and make you feel less scared? A relationship. You always wanted one of them."

Hob has also spent the entirety of his existence being left behind. He has a much healthier outlook on it, as a whole, because such is the nature of his particular immortality. He lives life to the fullest, and that means people. Like Dream, he has a bottomless well of love in his heart, but unlike Dream, he bestows it freely. Others' lives are so fleeting; why wouldn't he grasp every opportunity by the horns?

The flip side of that, of course, is a deluge of loss. He can never stay. People age, and he doesn't. He has to move on, or they do. He can never fully be himself (something else he and Dream have in common!) Even if he could be open, lay it all out for someone, trust them with the truth, that also has an inherent expiry date.

The one exception to this is Dream. Dream was there at the beginning. He knows everything. Hob doesn't have to pretend he doesn't know the exact timbre of Middle English, he can reference something specific about the eras he's lived in without needing to hedge how he came by the information. Dream also knows Hob. He's been there through all the ups and downs, and Hob has told him more than he's been able to tell literally anyone else. Hob goes through life holding the immense weight of his own life. He's got no one he can talk to about it, except Dream. (Kind of like the way Dream carries the weight of his responsibilities with no one who can relate? Perhaps!)

All of this to say, the defining trait of Hob is greed. There is never enough for him. He will always be craving more experiences, more love, more life, more, more, more. This is a man who looked Dream in the eye after a century of misery and told him "I've got so much to live for!" Hob will never, ever, be satisfied. And he holds himself back, just like Dream does, because it is simply too much for everyday life.

Does he love Dream? Naturally. But honestly, the romantic aspect of it is a byproduct of this is my person. The only person who knows him. The only person who he can be himself around. And just as he was resigning himself to have to do without the most important person in his life, he comes back. And that enforced separation is crumbling, from Dream's side. And Hob is greedy. He wants more. He'll be whatever Dream needs, if it means more of Dream. More, more more.

There's a saying my friends and I have adopted for dreamling, which is "Too much, together." Once they finally manage to work their way through all the barriers they've put up to make it possible to actually interact with other people, and the misunderstandings that it causes, once they finally recognize that in each other, then it's game over.

They've just got to get there first.