#Anyway here’s Charles sir dude guy

[coconut530]

mARTch 25: Try a New Art Style (ft. a panel of the webtoon The Bind Prince)

[doromoni]

Not Over the Papaya | OP81

⊹ ｡•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

Ships : Oscar Piastri x Popstar! Reader , Ex!Lando Norris x Popstar! Reader

Genre : Fluff Smau

A/N : One more round of pure fluff before we go back to our regularly scheduled chaos

Face claim : Jennie Kim

Summary : Y/N and Oscar cope with their own breakups by making the Heartbreak Club.

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

< Previous | Part 14 | Next >

Y/N. 3 mins

story replies

oscarpiastri finally some quiet time with you, my dear. ILY too so so much

Y/N. sneaking out was a good plan.

oscarpiastri Next time let’s have a vacation just the two of us pls

Y/N. My thoughts exactly, Oscy 🧡

nicolepiastri So that’s where you two went!

Y/N. I’m so sorry for ditching you with the boys Mama P 🥺

nicolepiastri No worries, Darling. You and Oscar deserve some peace and quiet after everything.

Y/N. Thank you Mama P 🫶

mclaren Enjoy the summer! So glad you and Osc are taking a break together 😃

Y/N. Yup. Thanks. You guys too

alexandrasaintmleux close friends

story replies

Y/N. BOo hoo pls tell your boyfriend to grow up. Thank you my sweet 😘

alexandrasaintmleux Charles said that he is mad at you, specifically.

alexandrasaintmleux You took his son away from him.

alexandrasaintmleux swear they are children! they are so weird

Y/N. yeah , dont even get me started Alex. Oh please tell Charles I said to go suck an egg. 🥳

charles_leclerc mon bebe, why must you out me like this?

alexandrasaintmleux as payback for waking me up in the middle of the night .Even Leo was sleeping mon amore 🤡

charles_leclerc They went to Australia without us :((

alexandrasaintmluex To be fair you did say that you and pierre had plans

charles_leclerc but that was canceled

alexandrasaintmluex Y/N and Oscar did not know that mon amore…

charles_leclerc ok… fine 🙄

charles_leclerc 10 mins

story replies

danielricciardo anytime dude! (i’m just here for Leo)

charles_leclerc of course you are🙄

oscarpiastri I told you danny ric would do!

charles_leclerc it would be nicer if my son chose to pick us up the airport 😀

oscar_piastri then ask Leo to drive ☺️

charles_leclerc 1 more sass from you and I’m revoking your adoption papers

oscar_piastri then I’ll ask Nando, Seb or even Kimi to adopt me 🙂‍↕️ It’s ur loss not mine anyways

charles_leclerc I’m hurt?? that hurts!

oscar_piastri ☺️☺️☺️

charles_leclerc Oh btw … Max is with us. He’s coming too

oscarpiastri WHAT

landonorris Are you staying with Oscar?

charles_leclerc Yes, we are. why?

landonorris ah. i see

landonorris I had fun golfing with you and Carlos the other day. Paddle soon with Carlos and Max?

charles_leclerc Oh yeah thanks for that… I’m not really sure if I could go. Alex and I will be spending the rest of the summer together. I could ask Max now if he’s available

landonorris Max is there too?

charles_leclerc He is yeah.

landonorris Oh

oscarpiastri

liked by Y/N. , charles_leclerc, danielricciardo, maxvertappen1, logansargeant, and others

oscarpiastri Australian sun, my pretty girlfriend, and various animals.

tagged Y/N., charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, logansargeant.

Y/N. I’m pretty? 🥺☺️

oscarpiastri the prettiest 🧡

Y/N. marriage when 😊

oscarpiastri u free later?

logansargeant why do i feel like I should be mad??

danielricciardo yeah, where do we fit in into this caption, huh @oscarpiastri

oscarpiastri I dunno what you guys mean 🤷‍♂️

charles_leclerc 🤨🤨🤨

maxverstappen1 P would’ve loved it here

oscarpiastri you should’ve brought her and kelly, mate

Y/N. Yeah! why didnt you huh mr. 3xWDC

maxvertappen1 because someone said that it was an emergency and to meet him at the airport!!

charles_leclerc oops

danielricciardo at least you brought Max and not someone else

maxverstappen1 I am neutral in this 🥹

Y/N. of course you are Judas

maxverstappen1 stapppp

oscarpiastri you know she won’t till you renounce whom shall not be named

maxverstappen1 Oh he’s Voldemort now?

Y/N. 🫡 Youre the one who said it sir.

user1 where is Mark?

oscarpiastri He’s too old and got tired

markwebber Oi!

danielricciardo where is the lie tho?

user2 Not them teaming over Mark 🙂‍↕️

user3 LESTAPPEN is in Australia!!!

user4 I am going feral over them all being together!

user5 its just a sleep over for millionaires, nothing big 😀

You added Max, Charles , and Alexandra to Timtams and Ranch*

Notification: Max sent a message to Timtams and Ranch

Series Taglist : @champagneproblems17 @itsjustfranzi @cheriwritesig @forza-charles @awritingtree @sltwins @gr1mes-cc @hwalllllllelujah @btsfluffsworld @tillyt04 @landotd @booksandflowrs @czennieszn @thatsouthernblondewiththeass @tellybearryyyy @wobblymug @alittlechaotics-blog @bingussthirdtoe @mirrorball-6 @demandealalune @heartsforleclerc @yoongi-holland @maneskin-slave @alenix @forensicheart @bloodyymaryyy @stereading @hahahjej @youre-on-your-ownkid : closed

Maintaglist : @myescapefromthislife @peterholland04 @charlottef1 @fangirl125reader @mel164 @gnarlycore @chloelovesln4 @vickykazuya @merchelsea @ln4author @qzmef @nxk1309 @styl1shl1v @lottalove4evelyn @gr3yhues : closed for now

[lookismaddict]

Lookism Chapter 434 Memes/Thoughts I Have:

(SPOILERS !!! I don’t own any of the Lookism panels and the translations. Only the memes that I made and the collages.)

OK, GONNA GO THROUGH THIS QUICK THIS TIME AND ONLY GONNA SHED LIGHT ON THE PARTS IN THIS CHAPTER THAT CAUGHT MY EYES. 👁👁

Last chapter was CRAZY MAN. WTHHHH

DAMN SHE EVEN HIT HIM WITH THE SMACK 😭😭😭

“GRANDMA CHILL! I SWEAR IMMA BRING YOU CLOTHES NEXT TIME-” 💀💀💀

Um… wtf? 😀

LOOK AT BABY BOY, USING HIS OWN ACTING SKILLS LIKE THAT. 😩😩💓💓💓 Or is he actually crying? Idk, can't tell. Oh, and “Grandma bullied me, mom.” 😐

HOW DOES SHE KNOW CHARLES CHOI??? MF A CELEBRITY AROUND THESE STREETS. Him and Jinyeong both bruv. 😭😭😭 (Also, “Too late mom. Already met him and he attempted to kill me too.” /j Charles Choi and Grandma would make a perfect couple. 😌✨)

Awww, is that baby Daniel? 😭 Also, wait a damn minute. Why does he look like...

I'M SORRY, BUT HE REMINDED ME OF THIS CHEEP CHEEP FROM MARIO KART. B R U H. THEY LOOK ALIKE. 😭😭😭😭

The typos on here. 😅 "Choio" DFJKDSAHFKLSHDSJLKF SORRY. The first time I was reading this, I had to reread because I thought I was crazy for a sec.

DANG, WE'VE BEEN GETTING A LOT OF NEW CHARACTERS WITH GLASSES RECENTLY. First that ONE HOT LADY from Tiger Job Center, then that ATTRACTIVE DOCTOR who was with Goo, and then NOW A POLICE OFFICER??? PTJ TRYING TO BRING OUT MORE GLASSES REPRESENTATION. 😩💘

UMMMM SIR??? YOU'RE GETTING SHITTED ON. LITERALLY!!!! 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

You guys wish you were that cow, huh...? 👀 Yeah, I see you. You can't fool me...

Woah, woah, woah, woah... RUN THAT BY ME REALY QUICK?!?! AYO, WHEN DID THIS TURN INTO A HORROR MOVIE? WHAT IS THIS, CHILDREN OF THE CORN? 1922???? 👁👁

Aw shit. Danny boy is gonna get gang.... (banged). SORRY. I CAN'T HELP IT-

OMG DANIEL. BEAT THEM UPPP!!!! 😤😤👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽

Dude. Why did I think this was Zack Lee for a second? 😳😳 (Zack and Gun if they had a child together LMFAO) ALSO THIS NEW GUY IS HOT AF. WHO IS HEEEEEE??? 😩🔥🔥🔥 (And we haven't gotten any naked scenes ever since Samuel, so is PTJ giving us some fan service since Samuel can't do the job right now...? 👀)

WTH IS HE IN A TUB FULL OF SNAKES? N A K E D ? 😳 I mean... if he's into getting his thing bitten- 👀 NAH, NAH, NAH, IM KIDDING, I SWEAR. 😭😭😭😭

I don't blame you if you stared at him for more than a minute.

Omg Daniel embodying his 😵 phase. BUT FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKK. THIS MAN IS BACK!!!!! HE'S FUCKING BACCCKKKKK. AEEEUUUUGGHHHHH. HE STILL LOOKS SEXY AF EVEN IF THIS IS JUST A FLASHBACK. 🥴🥴🥴🥴

YOU BET YOUR ASSES, I WILL SIMP OVER THIS MAN. H A R D.

*N S F W M E M E S W A R N I N G*

I DON'T WANNA SPIT, I WANNA GULP. I WANNA GAG, I WANNA CHOKE. I WANT YOU TO TOUCH THAT LIL' DANGLY THING THAT SWING IN THE BACK OF MY THROAT!!! 🥵🥵🥵🥵

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'M GETTING FLASHBACKS WHEN GUN HAD TO BEAT UP SAMUEL AND TELL HIM OFF. 😭😭😭😭

I can just imagine that horrifying face of his. Smiling so menacingly with those terrifying eyes. Like yessss king, go crazy!!! 😍😍😍

LOOK AT THESE DAREDEVILS. DAAAAAAAMN. TERRIFYING AS HELL. 🤭 DANNY BOY REALLY GOT IT FROM GUN FRFR. (Ugh, like father like son. Daniel could be my son- I mean, what? 😀)

I FUCKING KNEW IT. THIS FOUR EYED MF WAS SHADY FROM THE VERY BEGINNING!!! LIKE WHY TF WAS THAT CREEP STANDING THERE BEHIND HIM AND DANIEL, LOOKING LIKE ONE OF THEM PSYCHO NPC'S FROM OUTLAST 2 ????? BRUH GOT ME FUCKED UP. 😤😤😤

Ok, but why does this mf look like a DILF??? HE LOOKS LIKE A MIXTURE OF MANAGER KIM FROM HIS OWN WEBTOON AND ELITE WHEN HE WAS STILL YOUNG. LMFAAOOOOOO (I'm deadass ab this. They're attractive ngl.) AND WHY DO THE VILLAINS LOOK HOT AF? I'M NOT AGAINST IT, BUT I FEEL LIKE PTJ IS INTO SEXY VILLAINS. HE HAS A KINK FOR THEM. AND HE B R E A T H E S THEM. IN AND OUT. 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 (Update: I guess Kwak Jichang LITERALLY IS a piece of shit. Think about it… 💩)

ANYWAYS, we finna see who these Chungcheon mf's are next chapter. Hopefully, we get to know what the deal is with these people hating on Jinyeong. Bc I STG, IF THIS DRAGS OUT FOR THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS, I’M GONNA LOSE IT. 😠😤👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽

[beautifulduckweed]

Charls and Charls

So I’m super new to F1 fandom and aside from, like, Sir Lewis Hamilton, my tall twink husband George Russell, my other tall twink husband Alex Albon, and my pocket himbo husband Lando Norris, I don’t know the other faces super well. And in particular, I have a fuck of a time telling the difference between Charles Leclerc and Carlos Sainz, Jr. Look, they’re both extremely handsome dudes with dramatic dark eyes, dark hair, and thick necks. IT’S HARD FOR THIS BITCH, OKAY!!!!!

And then I found out from @piratecaptainraven​ they’re both driving for Ferrari?? (I told you I’m really new to F1.) And then I was like. Wait. Has someone made the Charls joke yet about these two guys? THEY GOTTA HAVE. SURELY.

Anyway here’s my first Captive Prince/F1 crossover joke, probably also my last unless things get real weird.

[mymansdanny3]

CHAMPIONS

daniel ricciardo x fem!driver

|chapter 2|

lara put on her earrings then took a step back to look at herself,she was getting ready to go to the party lando had offered her to go to

she had put on a white short and backless dress on with a pair of red jordan’s on her feet.

“okay so do you like it” lara said into the phone

“yessss dude you look breathtaking” said linda with a slight laugh

“okay shakespeare” said lara laughing back

“stfuuu”

“okay i have to go linds but i’ll definitely send you pictures”

“yes you better,okay bye now have funnn”linda said pressing on the n

“byee”

lara grabs her purse and takes a quick last look at herself,then walks out the hotel room.

she goes down to find the one and only pierre gasly standing in the lobby

“hi lara what you doing here,i thought you’d be at the party by now”

“no i’m a tad bit late aren’t i” lara replied back with a nervous smile

“we both are” “hey you wanna go together” said pierre back to back

“yes yes pls thank you”

“the pleasure is all mine” said pierre while extending his arm,lara grabbed it and they walked off and into pierre’s team car

they arrived after a car ride full of getting to now eachother

they had walked into the flan and immediately saw the other teams and drivers, they all looked confused on why you guys had came together but you two brushed it off

pierre had walked of to see yuki and charles,lando immediately coming up to you

“hi laraa i’m so happy to see you here, didn’t think you’d make it”

“i’m so sorry for being late lando”

“no no it’s all good dw bout it” he said with a soft smile

“hey what’s up you guys” had said a 3rd person, you looked to the right and saw the one and only,honey badger, you smiled immediately at the sight of him

“oh hi daniel”

“hi daring” “your dress is absolutely beautiful, so are you i mean” he said with a slight smirk on his face

he made you blush hard and you had turned red

“thank you daniel, you look very handsome yourself” lara threw back at him, no he turned a slight rose himself

she was significantly shorter than him so he had to look down at her and that look made her turn into mush

“so are u ready to start your season” he asked

“yes so very ready” she answered

he looked at her and just couldn’t hold back his smile, she couldn’t either

they were interrupted by tiki and pierre, the moment they had come daniel wrapped his arm around her waist and looked annoyingly at peirre, she noticed that and she noticed that ther might be a hinge of jealousy in his eyes too but maybe she was just imagining it

“hey y’all” said peirre

“hiii” said yuki with a wave

“hi guys nice to see you” lara replied to both men infront of her

“ya ya hey” said daniel with a slightly yet not very noticeable annoyed tone

“how’s everyone’s night”

“it’s really nice im so excited for the quail tomorrow” lara said back to yuki

they all nodded and moved on to the next conversation as more drivers came and surrounded them.

the night went on with more dancing but no drinking since they had quali in the morning the next day

daniel and lara had danced all night, refused to leave her side he continued to flirt and keep his hand on her waist and or shoulders at all times

lara had felt so protected in daniels arms and didn’t wanna leave his side either

the night had come to an end and all the drivers and teams had started to leave

“hey you wanna leave with me?” daniel asked lara

she couldn’t say no “yes i’d love to, but wait let me let pierre know” he nodded slightly not liking your mention of him

you walked away to go find pierre

“hey pierre i’m leaving with daniel if that’s alright” “yes ofc it’s alright, have fun” he said back with a wink and lara blushed heavily

she walked back to him

“well shall we go then, sir ricciardo” she said with a fake british accent

“yes we shall, madame”

| AUTHORS NOTE|

hihihi guys so i hope you like this, i’m sorry if the writing isn’t the best i’m working on it🥲😅but anyways here’s what lara was wearing for inspo

[misterewrites]

Cheers from Newton Haven ( Mirror’s Edge)

Hey everyone E here with a surprising amount original works. haha so you can blame my good friend @hains-mae for this because she enabled me. So long story short I love writing. I love creating ideas, story plots, characters all that jazz. Often there's a lot of leftovers that i put away in word document just so I have stuff to work with or ideas i can use later. Most of the time I might write something just to get it out of my system but it usually just ends up gathering dust in my computer.

I've been getting more into modern urban fantasy stories and watching the unsleeping city which is a modern dnd show (highly recommend it. first season's free on youtube over at the dimension 20 channel) and naturally I wanted to write some so here we go.

I don't know how often I'll be writing this because this accidentally became my side project whenever I need a break from the underground but who knows might turn into another big layered project.

so basic summary is there are a group of friends, associates, reluctant allies, organizations and frenemies who work together to keep the peace of the supernatural world in check and to ensure it remains secret to everyone else while living their lives as best as they can. Today's chapter includes Finnrick Drift a private investigator wizard and his best friend Casey Remington, cleric of the hearth

that's it for me. have a great week! stay safe, take care of each other. wear your mask, wash your hands, get the vaccine if you can and I'll see you soon!

and if you wanna an easier place to read and leave me some good old comments or reviews you find the chapter right here https://archiveofourown.org/works/30599756/chapters/75486005

Not gonna lie i promised I’d try to promote myself more and it’s weird. it feels so weird. haha 

It was a busy Friday afternoon in Midtown. People in designer named suits and dresses bustled across the sidewalks in all directions, too caught up in last minute phone calls or sudden late night work orders to notice anything else. The buildings that scraped the bottom of the sky were clean with a fresh coat of paint and maintenance, a testimony to the wealth and power that was found here.

So naturally Casey felt as out of place as fish out of water in his purple baseball jersey and black shorts just standing outside some fancy restaurants doors with his friend.

“Finny” Casey started awkwardly, his sea green eyes darting back and forth awkwardly “Any reason we’re out here being creepy? I got a Neighborhood Watch meeting at like 6.”

Finnrick or Finny as Casey referred to him, was no better dress than he was for the environment. A long black trench coat that was more stitching than fabric, a matching frayed faded fedora sitting comfortably on his head. He wore a nice collared dark red shirt tucked in a black vest but even that felt cheap and tacky compared to the thousands of dollars worth of clothing that passed them on the street every second. At least his black dress pants were dark enough to hide the patch up jobs and naturally the only kept squeaky clean were his loafers.

Finnrick sucked on the thin white stick for a moment before speaking up “I’m debating if it’s worth the trouble. I didn’t realize you had a meeting tonight.”

“Well we always meet up on the fifth. You know talking about treaties, clean up jobs, if any undead hordes have been spotted. My birthday cake.”

“Ah shit” Finnrick rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, his dark brown eyes apologetic “It’s your birthday? Did you want to go? I think I can handle it alone.”

Casey lifted the hat off Finnrick’s head and playfully ruffled his already messy black hair “You getting old Finny. My birthday is the tenth.”

Finnrick waved off his assault “I’m six months younger than you.”

“But” Casey gestured to the smattering of sliver streaks in Finn’s hair “You look older.”

“At least I don’t look like I’m 15. Dude you need a haircut. Everyone here thinks you’re a hippie.”

“A good looking hippie.” Casey gave a dramatic shake, his wavy dark brown hair flowing in the breeze.

The pair burst out laughing, doubling over trying to catch their breath as the business suits eyed them distastefully.

“Alright, let’s get this over with.” Finnrick made his way over, smiles and charm as they approached the doorman.

“Your cigarette sir.” The doorman spoke dully.

Finnrick pulled out the now finished lollipop “Don’t smoke but done anyway.”

The doorman gestured to the nearby trashcan but Finnrick opt to tuck it away in coat pocket. Disgusted but professional, the doorman gave strained smile as he allowed them entry into the building.

Casey nudged Finnrick curiously “Wizards? Warlocks? God not druids.”

“Probably. This is guy doesn’t have an ounce of magic in him but I wouldn’t doubt he’s got some casters on the payroll. Try not to leave anything behind.”

“I’m a freaking walking carpet here!”

“That” Finnrick grinned playfully “Is why you need haircut.”

Casey gave a fake snarl “Shut up and call the elevator.”

Finnrick whistled, amused by the near silence of the opening doors “Such fance. Barely a sound.”

“So what’s the plan?”

Finnrick scratched the little bush of hair he had on his chin thoughtfully “Ask some questions. Probably get no answers. Be threatened more than likely.

Casey cracked the tension in his neck “Think it’s gonna get ugly?”

“Depends on how many witnesses.”

The two made their way to the seventh floor, the elevator smoothly slowing to a stop before the doors opened with a ding. Two burly men in suits were waiting, flanked on either side as they gestured to an empty restaurant dining room.

“The boss will like to speak to you.”

Finnrick and Casey shared a look.

“Sure!” Finnrick beamed cheerfully, patting both the brutes arms as he passed “I was hoping to talk to him anyway.”

The men growled in annoyance but did nothing as Casey and Finnrick made their way to the center talk, unsurprised to find two glasses of wine waiting for them.

“After you” Finnrick joked, pulling out Casey’s chair for him.

Casey gave a mocking smile “Such a gentleman.��

“Only one I bet” Finnrick whispered before taking his seat.

Casey could hear the low hissing of whatever spells were on their chairs being dispelled.

Yep there was going to be trouble.

Casey eyed the room carefully in search for options: The room itself was pretty dark, dark reddish walls with dim lights to set the mood. Most of the tables had been left alone for whatever event this room was scheduled for later with the chairs stacked in the corner. A few feet to their left was the bar, unmanned but well stocked and a window to the outside nearby.

“Well, well, well!” A voice called out from some shadowy part of the room “Who do I have the pleasure of meeting this fine Friday afternoon?”

Finnrick rose to his feet, politely motioning to himself and Casey “My name is Fredrick and this is my friend Charles.”

The man’s hazel eyes shone with suspicion “No last names?”

“Of course” Finnrick grin “But there’s no need for friends, right? We are friends Robert?”

Robert paused, a barely contained rage shimmering just under the surface. His slicked back graying hair and tailored perfect dark blue suit were signs of a precise, irrational control. This was a man that was never told what to do and considered himself above everyone and anyone.

“Of course.” He answered a moment too late. He was not happy. “Of course. What are polite manners among friends?”

“Thanks Bobby!” Finnrick gave a friendly wink before retaking his seat.

Robert fumed but followed Finnrick’s example as a trio of secret service wannabes took their spots across the room: Inhumanly beautiful men with dark suits and shades. Something was off about them but Casey couldn’t put his finger on it.

“What do I owe the pleasure Freddy?” Robert sneered, hoping to see how Finnrick a taste of his own medicine.

“Well Bobby.” Finnrick went on, purposely ignoring the older man’s jab “As you know you have been stealing countless money from your employees.”

Robert chuckled darkly “I am afraid wherever you have been getting this claim is very misinformed. I am a simple, honest businessman.”

Finnrick nodded in agreement “Of course. Of course. That’s how you can say that with a straight face. Honest businessman of mundane practices.”

Casey felt his hair on his arm stand on end as the atmosphere in the room tensed. The brutes growled unhappily, the trio of bodyguards shifted uneasily and Robert’s eyes shone with understanding.

“I see.” He spoke simply “You’re from the other side.”

“Naturally.” Finnrick confirmed “No need to peer around the bush, is there?”

“No need at all. It is refreshing for such transparency. You don’t get that often in the world of business.”

“I doubt you give much either Mister Walker.”

“Enough games. What are you doing here? Some kind of union rep for magical freaks? Blackmailing me?”

Finnrick sat up with pride “Private investigator. Building a case against you actually.”

Robert carefully studied both men before him, trying to piece together their plan, their angle.

“Either.” He spoke after a few moments “You have all you need or more than likely you have nothing and you are simply here to smoke me out, hoping I will give you something to use against me.”

Casey felt Finnrick’s hand move underneath the table and a rush of chilly air brushed his leg.

Casey gave a quick nod to let Finn know he understood.

Finnrick cleared his throat “You’re aware of the works of Tolkien Mister Walker?”

Robert was caught off guard “What?”

“Elves.” Finnrick answered with a calming voice “Elves are the most famous of his characters that aren’t humans of course but there’s more: Elves, dwarves...”

“Hob…” Robert began but Finnrick cut him off.

“That’s a legal matter but yes. Wonderfully fantastic creatures.”

Robert narrowed his eyes “And?”

Finnrick leaned in close, smile mocking and cold “I hate when people take advantage of them.”

Robert was a cold, calculating heartless man who was used to being the smartest one in the room. The one who rigged the playing field in his favor, held every ace in his hand and led his prey exactly where he wanted them to be. He played with people before he destroyed their hope. He was the apex predator in the world of business.

It was satisfying to see that swagger and pride drain out of his face.

The businessman went for the button hidden underneath his side of the table, no doubt the switch to trigger the holding spells on Casey and Finnrick’s chairs. Of course Finnrick had dispelled them first chance he got and since the only other caster in the room was Casey, no one else noticed.

Robert’s face was the second most beautiful thing Casey had ever seen (first being Jaime but there was no need to tell her that). The panic, the fear, the utter confusion. Just poetic justice at its finest.

Finnrick shot to his feet with a surprising speed given his unremarkable build. He muttered the words of power, a magical incantation as his hand made the proper gestures to complete the spell.

The shades squad went for their weapons but Finnrick had gotten the drop on all of them. He pulled his hand back, a burning flame sitting peacefully in his palm. He pitched the flame forward, lobbing directly at the closet goon. The inhumanly beautiful man rose his arms to defend himself in time. The flame, mostly pressurized air, splashed over him harmlessly as the force of the attack shoved him back into the wall.

Casey followed Finn’s example. He stood as well (not as quick as his friend), a soft gentle light glowing from his hands. He glanced at the two remaining shades and aimed directly for them. A bolt of pure light burst forth from his palms. One goon got a chest full of holy energy and skidded backwards but the other was ready. He leapt to the side and narrowly avoided the attack as he slid out of sight.

The brutes charged towards the pair, murder in their eyes. Finnrick barely spared them a look as he snapped his finger. The two flames sigils he had imprinted om them when he grabbed their arms ignited, twin fires eating at their sleeves and sending them into a panic.

“What’s the plan?” Casey shouted, sending more holy bolts towards the shades.

“Up and over the counter.” Finnrick answered, tossing another fireball.

Casey quickly made his way closer, prepping to leap over the bar when Finnrick crashed into him, a strange whistling sound piercing his ears one moment then silent the next.

“Over buddy over!” Finnrick repeated, grabbing Casey by the collar and heaving him ontop of the counter. Casey flailed for a moment before glancing backwards. Finnrick was right behind him, hand outstretched as a blue translucent field of protective magic hung before the two while the shades opened fire with crossbows, the jet black bolts barely visible in the dimness of the room. They bounced harmlessly off the barrier but Casey could see the cracks starting to form.

Casey hopped over the bar gracelessly, struggling for a moment before clearing the jump. Finnrick tucked himself backwards, allowing himself to roll over the counter top and land on the other side with a thud.

“Remember when elves were honorable?” Casey huffed, quickly scanning the various bottles.

Finnrick scoffed “They were never honorable. They just acted better than everyone.”

“Remember when we were kids?”

“Vaguely. Pass the absinthe. I want to really make this hurt.”

“Blue bottle? These are all in German and Russian.”

“Green liquid. Come on Case I taught you better.”

“Right. I miss when the cartoons used to tell us the mafia was honorable.”

“Criminals these days.” Finnrick shook his head disappointingly “Just don’t make them like they used to. It’s all corporate shit.”

Casey began picking other bottles at random, wrapping them tightly with the tape he brought “It’s disillusioning I tell you. How right is he?”

Finnrick smashed a pane of glass. He took the jagged edge and slowly inched it over the counter, catching sight of the trio of shades for a moment before a crossbow bolt shattered the glass.

He flexed his hand, trying to relax his muscles. They were elves alright. They might be dressed in suits and ears hidden by some sort of glamour illusion magic but old habits died hard. Elves habits never died given their long lives. The trio had fallen into a close knit triangle formation: one fires, one reloads with the last taking aim.

“He had this whole operation locked tight. No one was talking. Either bribed them or made an example of them. Broken bones or horns. I had enough evidence to implicate him but bringing him to trial in the mundy court was going to be pointless.”

Casey moved the bottles back and forth to ensure they wouldn’t come loose midair “So what are we doing here?”

“Given his limited knowledge and the numerous magical violations I counted in this building alone, I figured he’s not registered with the Council.”

Casey’s eyes lit up in understanding “Gotcha. How long we got?”

Finnrick shook his hand back and forth “I’d say 10 minutes knowing the Council. Magic in an unregistered area requires a subtler approach for them. “

Casey snorted “Fake beards and stilts for the gnomes you mean? Robert will be gone by then.”

Finnrick’s face scrunched in concentration “He’s still here. Cowering under the table. He’s not used to dangerous wizards up in his face. Let’s scare him put huh?”

Casey spared his friend a glance “Big shot?”

Finnrick nodded in agreement “Aim high Case.”

And with a synchronicity only achieved through years of friendship, the two stood up at once. Casey threw the makeshift bomb high into the air as Finnrick formed the magical shield once more. Arrow after arrow bounced harmlessly off its surface as the bottles sailed through the air. Finnrick focused directly in the center of the payload. The shield dropped but the elves had broken formation and were all reloading at once. Finnrick pinched his thumb and finger together, murmuring under his breath. A small spark of flame fluttered wildly on his finger. He flicked it as quickly as he could towards the bottles. The spark spun and twisted as it floated towards the payload. The spark expanded, growing in size, and intensity, rapidly without warning. The air warmed as the spark exploded, smashing the bottles and engulfing the alcohol within. Flaming liquid, glass and hot air shot out in every direction. The elves were blasted off their feet and crashed against the far wall with sickening series of crunches. The floor above now had a massive hole in it and the brutes sprawled across the floor. Robert himself was thrown onto the ground, ash and soot covering his face as he struggled to breath.

He tried to call for someone but his ears were ringing and everyone was down for the count. He tried to search for the trouble makers but the smoke that filled the room was too thick.

The elevator dinged open once more and three pale suits came scuttling out. They clung to the walls on all fours, unnatural and repulsive. Their blood red eyes shone in the dimly light room, their fangs barred and ready for blood.

“Vampires!” Casey rubbed his eyes tiredly “This fucker has vampires. Loose by the way.”

“Right?” Finnrick shook his head “There are just so many regulations being violated right now.”

The vampires did not care. They dropped to the floor, gliding effortlessly midst the smoke and flame.

Casey took a step closer to the encroaching undead. He outstretched one hand towards them while the other clasped his necklace tightly. The vampires tilted their head quizzically at the symbol that adored the chain: It was a house of all things, a simple shape of rectangles and triangles no different than what a child would draw.

The vampires chuckled, their eyes bright with hunger.

Of course in their bloodlust they had forgotten something important: It was not the symbol but the faith behind it that was their bane.

Casey held the symbol as high as he could. The vampire shrunk away from him as his eyes blazed with holy energy, the symbol of home glowing with a harsh light. The vampires barred their fangs as a symphony of noises overwhelmed their senses: the soft hum of an air conditioner, footsteps thundering about, the chill of winter, the heat of summer, the overlapping sounds of cars and buses as the roar of crowds boomed in their ears. The city, the hearth of so many people, filled this room for a moment.

The vampires drew back, white smoking curling off their charring flaky skins. They ducked back into the elevator, hiding in whatever corner they could manage until the doors shut with a satisfying ding.

“Come on” Finnrick gestured to the window “I don’t want to be written up for unauthorized magic in an unregistered area.”

Casey and Finnrick scampered to the window. Casey’s face turned a sickly green when he realized how high up they were.

“Ugh I don’t feel good.” his stomach churned queasily.

Finnrick broke the window with his elbow, the fresh smoggy air of the city bringing some color back into Casey’s cheeks “I know buddy but it’s only eight floors up.”

“I hate you so much right now.”

“Okay cool jump now!”

Robert regained enough sense to see the troublemakers leap out the window without hesitation. He struggled to his feet when flickers of something began to form. Before he knew what was going on, the previously empty room was now filled with various creatures: Elves, dwarves, a gnome on silts had appeared out of thin air. They weren’t dress in any ancient medieval garb but rather dark blue jackets, jeans and combat boots with the initials M.R.R.D stitched on their clothing. They were no different than any one on the street aside their more unique physical features.

“M.R.R.D!” the gnome cried out, brandishing a strange clockwork pistol “Everyone freeze! We sensed a magical disturbance and a violation of the Arcane Veil!”

Robert rose to his full height “I am Robert Walker and I…”

The gnome opened fire and Robert could feel exhaustion overtake him. Sleepiness began to ebb at his resolve and before he could mutter another word, he closed his eyes. A dreamless sleep until he woke up in a council prison cell a few hours later.

-----

Casey didn’t scream as he fell through the air. He was too busy trying to keep his lunch in his stomach.

Finnrick waited a moment to make sure everything was in place and with a wave of his hand, the two began to fall much slower. They landed on their feet as if they had taken a step off the sidewalk instead of several stories up.

Casey began hyperventilating, trying his best to get his stomach settled. Finnrick began fanning his face when a man walked up to him.

Casey and Finnrick said nothing, waiting for the Arcana Veil to fill in any blanks they were missing. They could’ve told this man anything but they found from experience that it was just easier to roll with whatever the magical blanket that separated the mundane world from the magical decided.

The man peered at them, his gaze unsure and confused.

“Hey, you guys okay?” he asked helpfully.

Casey and Finnrick remained silent.

His eyes glazed over for a moment, a strange shimmering sheen within his pupils telling the duo that the veil was in effect.

“You guys are oddly dressed for window washers.” the man chuckled.

Finnrick glanced back to find a ghostly image of an electrically operated scaffold behind them, water buckets and squeegees included.

They shared a look.

“Would you believe it’s national window washer day?” Casey filled in.

Finnrick added “Yeah, they let us wear whatever want today. It’s only one day out of the year anyway and most of the time we work by ourselves so no harm done.”

the man nodded like that was the most reasonable thing he had ever heard “Right sorry. I’ll just be on my way.”

Finnick and Casey ducked out of the alleyway behind him, heads low and nonchalant as the human M.R.R.D members began to shut down the restaurant from the outside.

“Well that sucked.”

“Just a little. Here let’s go some dinner on me.”

“Damn straight on you Finny. Brutes, elves, vampires?”

“Oh my.”

“Now I’m ordering extra bread for that.”

[onbreakandburnedout]

Saving Me (Part one and two)

(Finally solved my tagging issue)

(TW: Mentions of panic attacks and stroke. I accidentally added the shooting Tw. That's later in the story)

Ellie~

"Hey Charles, how's Henry? ", I asked as I entered the medical tent. Charles had parked himself next to him ever since we got back.

"He's fine, I guess."

"I'm still impressed on how you handled the situation back at the Wall. That wasn't your first time, was it?" He glanced down at the floor, acting like I unlocked a dark memory from the past .

" You're right, it wasn't. I had a younger sister, as well as two older brothers who are in different branches of the military. Anyway, my sister had panic attacks as well, and since my parents and my brothers were almost always on active duty, I was the one looking out for her. We were close, and we planned to join the army together, going out on missions, creating the greatest plans. It would of been great... " I immediately realized where the story was going, and it was only a matter of knowing how it happened.

"I'm sorry if this is painful to talk about, but... how did she, y'know?..."

" It was about three years ago. I was eighteen, and she was thirteen. I remember waking up one morning, and my sister was always the first up, but she wasn't awake. My gut told me to check up on her, and when I finally reached her, she wasn't breathing. Next thing I know, the doctor on duty told me she suffered from a stroke in her sleep. I joined the military about three months later, because in that moment, I was doing it in her honor. "

"Oh damn, Charles I'm so sorry!"

"It's ok. I guess my experiences back then helped me out with Henry." The soft shuffling of blankets broke up our conversation as our focus shifted to a new priority: Henry.

.....

Henry​​​​​​~

My eyes fluttered open to new surroundings. No more of the cold, empty cells of the Wall. Instead, I was in some large beige tent with two other figures in the room. "Henry? How are you feeling dude?"

" Do you need anything? " Ellie. Charles. I pushed myself up from the bed to talk to them.

" I fell a bit lightheaded, but it shouldn't last long, and thanks Charles, but I don't need anything right now. " Charles glared at Elie, held she clear her throat.

"We've been meaning to ask, Henry, but how bad are your a panic attacks?"

" They're fairly new and pretty rare for me, but they always seem to be triggered by any event featuring that particular penitentiary. It actually started out one day when I was calling my brother six years ago. "

Henry(15)~

I was sitting at the local cafe. It was Wednesday, after all, and that meant I could talk to my brother. "Hey Gul! How are you holding up at the Wall?"

"Gul": ...Henry, listen. I don't think I'll be able to talk to you again. I don't know if I'll be able to talk to anyone again.

" Gulliver? What are you talking about? "

"Gul": A couple of inmates and I tried to create an escape plan yesterday, but we were caught by the guards. I'm extremely lucky to have snuck in my phone with me, but I'm being placed in isolation, then after that, they're going to freeze me to death.

" Gulliver, you're joking! Please you're the only family I have left! "

"Gul" : Henry, I need oh to promise me you won't - GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME! LET ME TALK TO MY BROther~

???:.. So, you're his brother, eh? All you need to know is that I'm the head warden here, and if you end up like your brother, you're as good as dead. Goodbye, rat.

The warden hung up the phone, and I sat still as a stone for a solid minute, then a new sensation filled me. My heart started to beat faster than it has ever beaten, I started to hyperventilate, and the world around me started to spin.

Is this it? Am I going to die alone?

I stood up from the chair I was on, but I lost my balance and fell onto the deck. A couple of people came to check up on me, before I passed out.

Henry ~

" After that, I had very rare panic attacks. In fact, the last time I had one was a full year before I robbed the bank. "

"You must really miss your brother." Ellie said to me with condolences .

"Trust me Henry, I know what it's like to lose a family member." Charlie and I locked eyes and gave each other a small smile. It was peaceful...

But peace doesn't last forever.

An officer walked in and handed Charlie a rifle. "Dmitri and his men are at the gates. We'll send some reinforcements for the outside perimeter of the med bay, but it's up to you to protect those two.

Before I knew it, the world stated to spin.

Charles ~

I looked back at Henry, who laid back down on the bed, and at Andrew Cobbler, who handed me the rifle. "The General told me to tell you to stay here since you're experienced with panic attacks. Besides, you two seem close." I felt my face heat up.

" No , not like that! We're just friends! " I rushed the words out quickly.

"Oh, that's not really what I meant, but I don't really care if you guys were that​​​​​​ close. I'm actually bisexual myself!"The conversation would have continued, but he was summoned by Amber Downs, who pulled him out since they needed to secure the perimeters.

"Can you do me a favor and set up a walkie talkie in the General's tent so we can listen in?"

" Sure thing! "

Huh. Turns out I'm not the only one that's bisexual here...

"Do you want me to hold the rifle, so you can focus on Henry?"

" Wha- do you even know how to use one?! " She shrugged before continuing.

"My dad used to take me out to go hunting." I reluctantly gave the weapon to her, unsure if there would be repercussions for what I just did. Taking my seat on the edge of the bed, I turned on the walkie talkie, getting prepared for whatever happens.

General: Dmitri, that doesn't explain the fact that you kidnapped a pardoned man, and threw him into solitary confinement!

Dmitri: Anyone that is on my list goes to the Wall. No questions asked. Besides, you have no proof that we kidnapped him.

General: We have security footage of your guards breaking into his apartment and carrying him into your truck!

Nate Box: Sir, the recon teams just sent back their report on the Wall.

General: Read It aloud.

Nate: The facility lacks any health policies. They have found large scores of sick, even dead, inmates in a single, large cell. Bodies were found floating in the ocean close to the cliff. All of them have been dead for a while. They even managed to get a list of all of the inmates currently there. Over seventy five percent shouldn't even be there, and half of that percentage have pardons.

My hand instantly flies to my mouth, and Ellie almost drops the rifle in surprise. How has that place stayed open for this long?!

General: .... I'm placing you, and your entire faculty under arrest. Nate, gather more soldiers and release those on the list, and transfer the criminals with the most severe crimes to different, SAFER, prisons.

Dmitri: I'm not going anywhere without Henry and Ellie.

The sounds of retreating footsteps are heard in the walkie talkie, and the sounds of footsteps approaching are slowly coming upon us. I hear Henry start to hyperventilate, and I sit him up and pull him into a protective hug.

"Ellie, don't do anything until I tell you to, alright? "

[frostedfaves]

Damage

Part 2

Pairing: Jake Peralta x fem!reader

Summary: Y/N has magical abilities and teams up with the squad to take down a villain.

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: murder scene, mention of parent death, evil parent

-

If he's being totally honest, Jake felt very much like the creeps he arrested on the streets of Brooklyn. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the girl across the street who was lost in her phone call. He tried to justify his staring by thinking to himself that he was just worried about a civilian being out late at night alone, but truthfully he was simply captivated by her.

"Dude, are you ready to eat or what?" Rosa followed Jake's gaze and smirked. "I guess that answers my question."

Jake blushed and faced her. "Gross, Rosa, no! I'm just wondering how she's gonna get home safely."

"Certainly not in your car," Amy interjected with a snort.

"What are we talking about? Jakey got a crush?" Charles asked, joining the group followed by Terry and Holt.

"I don't have a crush! As I was just telling nosy Rosie over here, I—"

"Hey, watch out!"

Jake's head immediately turned at Amy's words, expecting to be met with the scene of his mystery girl getting hit by a passing car and instead found something even more jaw-dropping. The girl stood frozen in front of a semi truck that was stopped in the middle of the road, the air between them a neon, glittering pink. She turned to the side of the street where the detective squad stood—suddenly realizing she had an audience—and bolted without question in the direction she came from.

"Wait!" Jake cried out as he began to follow her, instantly cut off by the semi truck that continued to roll down the street abruptly as if commanded. By the time it passed, the girl was gone.

Rosa was the next to break out of her shocked state, laying a cautious hand on Jake's shoulder. "It's probably for the best. Supernatural or not, no girl wants to be chased down the street by a guy she's never met."

-

A few days later, the nine-nine squad found themselves at the scene of a quadruple homicide. Three customers and a cashier found dead in a bodega, no witnesses and the security camera system conveniently destroyed. The detectives surveyed the store, all mentally scratching their heads and wondering how the hell they were going to solve this one. Even Holt seemed stumped.

"Guys."

Jake turned to look at Charles, following his fearful gaze and nearly jumping out of his skin. On the far side of the store stood his mystery girl. He noticed everyone else move their hands toward their guns, but curiosity got the better of him. He stood slowly, noticing her tear-filled eyes as she looked around the scene.

Holt found his voice first and spoke in his authoritative tone. "Ma'am, this crime scene is part of an active investigation. You cannot—"

"I think I know who did it," she blurted, surprising everyone. Her gaze flickered over to Jake for a second and back to Holt, and he fought the urge to smile. "No puncture or shot wounds, right? Dead all at the same time, just like that?"

"How did you know that?" Amy questioned immediately.

The girl nodded as if answering the question herself. "I know who did it, but I can't tell you here. It's not safe." She glanced outside before quickly conjuring up a glittering pink ball and sending it over to the pocket that held Jake's phone. "When you turn your GPS on, you should be able to find me pretty easily. I'll see you tonight."

The color appeared again as she turned in a circle, pulling a curtain of it over herself. It disappeared with her just as the Medical Examiner stepped into the bodega. 

-

Despite all signs pointing toward this being a bad idea, the squad decided to follow Jake's GPS to her apartment. The building was located on the wealthier part of town, but luckily didn't have a doorman. The mention of the lack of one reminded the detectives that they didn't know the name of the person they were expected to blindly trust, a discussion they had in the elevator on the way to her apartment, of course.

A knock on her door was followed by a muffled "come in", and they opened the door to one of the biggest living rooms they'd ever seen in an apartment. The mystery girl—MG, as Jake so affectionately referred to her—was standing near the ceiling-to-floor window finishing up an impressively majestic horse on a giant upright canvas. Jake thought that by some trick of light the horse was moving but realized when he came to a stop in front of it that it simply was moving.

His eyes moved downward to the artist herself and watched as she closed her paints and put away the rest of the art tools, this time allowing the smile to appear. It seemed silly but he almost felt lucky to be standing in the same room as her again, especially considering that he never thought he'd see her again.

She faced them finally with a small almost shy smile. "I'll be right back after I wash this mess off my hands. You can sit down if you want." She disappeared down the hall, magically closing the curtains as she went, and Jake turned to the group with a shrug.

"Might as well. If she wanted to kill us, she would've done it already."

Apparently this made sense to them because they were all sitting quietly on the couch in armchairs when she returned. They shook their heads at her offer on food and drinks and waited until she pulled up a wooden chair to sit in front of them to speak.

"So are you gonna tell us who you are now or what?" Rosa asked with a glare so intimidating that it made the poor girl cower slightly in her seat.

"Yeah, I am. I'm Y/N Patali, Pavlo Patali's daughter." She could practically hear the alarms going off in their heads just by looking at them and sighed. "If I tell you my sad origin story, will it convince you that I'd like to help you and that I'm not on his side?"

"Not completely, but it may help," Holt replied, giving Y/N no physical indicator that he meant it.

"Okay, well my father's originally from Nuxvar, a tiny village between the cities of Pompeii and Naples that housed all the world's magical people. When he turned 21 and gained the full strength of his powers, he performed dark magic on Mount Vesuvius and made it erupt over the village. He managed to kill every man, woman and child in the village and keep the damage hidden from the neighboring cities, because you could only get into the village if you had powers anyway."

"He wanted to be the only one left with powers," Amy acknowledged and Y/N confirmed.

"He came to New York right after. He met my mother and ended up marrying her, which I can't imagine him doing for citizenship so I'd like to believe he really loved her."

The squad listened as she went on to tell them about her mother discovering that her father was getting away with murder by using his powers and that the explosion that killed his home village wasn't an accident. She explained being 12 and her powers finally arriving, her mother instructing her to magically copy a book from his library that described how to strip a Nuxvarian of their powers as punishment for using them for evil, hoping to bring an end to his reign.

"I'd hidden the copy of course, but he found her reading through the original one day while I was at school because she wanted to learn as much as possible so she could help me learn too." Y/N took a deep breath, squeezing her eyes shut for a second to prevent tears from spilling. "I don't know what he did but I was told she suffered from a brain aneurysm and died 'just like that'."

She got up suddenly, walking over to the bookcase and taking the opportunity to wipe away a few stray tears away from everyone's eyes. She returned with a book that she placed on the coffee table between them as she sat down.

"My father told CPS that he was mentally unfit to care for me because I looked so much like my mother that it was driving him insane. This book was the only thing I managed to hold onto throughout my entire time in foster care and I've been studying it ever since. I think I can do it now, and then you can finally arrest him."

She spoke again before they could respond. "I can also help you track down all the people working in his drug cartel."

Jake was the next to speak. "I think we should do it."

"Peralta—"

"Sir, hear me out. Patali has one of the biggest drug rings we've ever had the misfortune of coming across and every time we've come close to shutting him down, we're suddenly right back where we started and now that we've heard her story, it all makes sense!"

"Sir, I never thought I'd say this but Peralta has a point," Amy timidly addressed Holt, choosing to ignore Jake's smirk.

"I agree," Rosa added in her usual monotone manner. "If we keep going at it like we have been, Commissioner Kelly is just going to get more and more pissed at us for wasting departmental resources. We should at least give Y/N a shot."

"Does everyone feel this way?" Holt gave a glance around the room, taking notice of everyone's heads nodding before meeting eyes with Y/N. "I suppose we could try things your way."

Her eyes danced around the room, gaze landing on Jake for a little longer than she meant to before making eye contact with Holt again.

"I promise not to let you down."

[365days365movies]

April 2, 2021: The General (1926)

From one legendary early filmmaker onto another!

Joseph Frank Keaton was born in Piqua, Kansas, on October 4, 1895. His parents were vaudeville performers, which might be sounding familiar to you, based on Chaplin’s life history. But Keaton’s childhood was VERY different, I promise. When he was an infant, he fell down the stairs in front of a family friend, and stood up afterwards, seemingly fine. The actor said, “He’s a regular buster!” And the name stuck, as did Buster’s tendency to shake off what could be massive injury. And that proved useful, as he would soon lose the tip of his finger, hit his own eye with a rock, and was also SUCKED OUT OF A WINDOW BY A TORNADO AND DROPPED TWO CITY BLOCKS AWAY. FUCKING SERIOUSLY. And according to some accounts, al of that happened in the same fucking day. Allegedly, because that shit would be CRAZY if true.

Regardless, he was brought on to work with his parents on stage when he was three, and they became “The Three Keatons”. During the act, Buster would be thrown against the scenery, into the orchestra pit, or into the audience itself! He earned to take trick falls quickly, and was billed as “the little boy who can’t be damaged”. And kid was INDESTRUCTIBLE. Sure, he never got hurt because of surprisingly well-thought out stage trickery, but he also was VERY good at landing on his feet, describing himself once as “landing like a cat” on regular occasions. But eventually, the law banned child performers in vaudeville, putting an end to the act.

But that wouldn’t stop Buster Keaton, NO SIR. It did stop his father, though, who eventually succumbed to alcoholism and wrecked the family business. But Buster and his mother left for New York City, and Buster moved on to his lifelong passion: acting. While acting on stage, Keaton met a young man named Roscoe “Fatty” Arbuckle, who would become one of the most prominent early film stars. But then, World War I happened, and Buster served in France, where he would become permanently deaf in one ear.

When he came back, he was a writer for Arbuckle’s films before breaking out on his own projects, being able to write, direct, and act in his own films. In the process, he developed his unique style of acting and filmmaking, which was extremely visual and full of slapstick. In acting, he became famous for his emotionless stony face, known as the “deadpan”. He also ALWAYS did his own stunts, which sometimes resulted in some major consequences.

Yeah. YEAH. Dude did a stunt that caused him to BREAK HIS NECK, and he DID NOT REALIZE THIS for YEARS AFTER THE INCIDENT! This man is the GREATEST BADASS THAT FILM HAS EVER KNOWN. That was on Sherlock, Jr. in 1924, and by this point, Keaton was a millionaire, and one of the biggest names in Hollywood, alongside Charlie Chaplin, of course. He was married to actress Natalie Talmadge (who was the SAME AGE as him, go figure), and they had three children together by 1924. And their marriage...also began to suffer. Just like Chaplin, except that Keaton wasn’t abusive to Natalie or the kids, thankfully. It was her spending habits, and the two of them growing apart. 

And then, in 1925, inspired by history like Chaplin was with The Gold Rush, Keaton was inspired by a true story from the Civil War, known as the Great Locomotive Chase. See, Buster LOVED trains, and with the money and resources at his disposal, he had the ability to make his magnum opus, his favorite film, and one of the most expensive films ever made. Working with Chaplin’s United Artists, he made today’s film of focus: The General. And, uh...this would have mixed results, I’ll just say that much for now.

I’ll tell you what happens to Buster after this in the review, but for now, let’s jump into the movie! It’s a short one, but that’s OK! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

Y’know, I considered saving this one for Historical July or War November, but I think it’s better here for a few reasons. Plus, I’d rather those films not be comedic, if I can help it. Anyway: Marietta, Georgia, 1861!

The Western & Atlantic Railroad train known as The General is bring driven by its chief engineer Johnnie Gray (Buster Keaton). As a title screen tells us, Johnny loves two things: the majestic The General, and his equally majestic fiancée, Annabelle Lee (Marion Mack). Living in the decadent pre-Civil War South, the two are happy with each other, although Johnnie is somewhat awkward in his way. He provides Annabelle with a photo of him and The General.

Just then, though, Annabelle’s brother (Frank Barnes) comes in and tells her and their father (Charles Smith) that Fort Sumter’s been fired on. UH OH. It’s war. As Annabelle’s brother immediately goes to enlist alongside many other men, Johnnie follows suit. However, when he gets to the enlisting station, he’s refused the opportunity, as he will be needed to act as a railroad engineer. Which, to be fair, does make sense. Railroad engineers would be vital for the effort. However, they never tell him why he isn’t fit for the job, so he just goes back and tries to enlist under a false name. They catch him, though, and he’s again refused. Dejected, he goes back to the train.

However, as he leaves, Annabelle’s father and brother see him in line, and try to get him in to join them. He shakes his head, but instead of assuming that he’s been rejected, they assume that he’s too cowardly to join. They relay this message to Annabelle, who goes to him directly He tells him the truth, that he’s been rejected, but she IMMEDIATELY assumes he’s lying, and tells him not to speak to her again unless he’s in uniform. Dammit, Annabelle! And poor Johnnie doesn’t even know how important he is! Geez, guys, get your shit together.

A year passes, and the war continues in earnest. We go to a Union camp, where Captain Anderson (Glen Cavender) plots with General Thatcher (Jim Farley) to ambush a train and steal it, in an effort to debilitate the train and the South’s efforts as a whole. Meanwhile, Annabelle’s father is wounded, causing her to go and see him. This requires a trip on The General, and a brief and awkward reunion with Johnnie.

However, we now have a much bigger problem than lost love. Because the train is stopped for Johnnie and the passengers to get some food at a nearby stop. And this is when Captain Anderson takes the opportunity to steal The General right from under Johnnie’s nose. And Annabelle, who catches them in the act, is kidnapped in order to hide their scheme.

The men take off with The General and Annabelle, and now BOTH of Johnnie’s loves are taken away from him. He chases after the train, first running, then using a handcar, and THEN taking a man’s penny-farthing bicycle. By the way, fun fact about me: it is my life’s goal to be able to afford a penny-farthing bicycle and ride it around town while wearing a top hat and coat, like it’s completely fucking normal. I need this - I FUCKING NEED THIS, UNDERSTAND???

He rides that penny-farthing to another stop, where he encounters Confederate soldiers, who he tries to recruit to aid him in retrieving his train. However, he accidentally leaves them all behind, using a small engine, Texas to chase after his train and the robbers. Johnnie’s soon leading them in a hot pursuit, also managing to procure a cannon on the way.

However, the robbers have taken notice now, and the Captain is under the mistaken impression that the Texas carries reinforcements. Instead, they keep going. Meanwhile, Johnnie’s hooked the cannon up to the back of the Texas, and is trying (and failing) to fire it at the robbers. Instead, he accidentally unhooks it as it’s about to fire, and it’s aimed at the Texas instead. To avoid the shot, Johnnie...Johnnie does THIS.

...Damn, Buster Keaton, that’s awesome. That’s him doing this, FOR REAL, in this film. Holy shit. Tom Cruise, eat your heart out. Anyway, the cannon misses the Texas, but ends up firing pretty close to The General, spooking the men onboard. To stave him off, they first detach their last car, which falls off the tracks when Johnnie’s looking away, confusing him greatly. Then, they through railroad ties on the tracks, which Johnnie has to clear by getting off the train, riding it’s grill (again), and removing by hand! God, I love this dude.

The Union soldiers divert the tracks, driving Johnnie into a dead end, but he manages to reverse the Texas and switch back onto the right track. Meanwhile, the Union men are building fires in The General’s train cars, and leaving those cars on covered bridges in order to burn them down. They do this on one, and the Texas follows, driving into it, and pushing it OUT of the bridge. And goddamn, this movie is cool as shit.

As Johnnie deals with this latest situation, the train drives through Chattanooga, where the Confederate Army is in full retreat, chased away by the Union. And it’s at this point that I should point something out: I really, really should be rooting aginst Johnnie here, for obvious reasons. But, the movie is putting him in position as the protagonist, and it works, because I do like this guy, even if he’s inevitably on the wrong side of history.

It’s also at this point where Johnnie COMPLETELY loses any advantage, as the men on The General have now realized that he’s the only one on the train, and start fighting back, throwing things at him and the Texas from above. Now in danger, Johnnie takes off and runs into the forest, where he hides. This, mind you, is also as Annabelle is watching from The General.

That night, he happens upon a house in enemy territory, and goes there to hide. As he does, however, a group of officers come in, and discuss their plans to ambush the Confederate soldiers, and to secure one of their bridges for their own trains. Johnnie, all the while, is hidden under a table.

Annabelle is brought in, and the men decide to hold her for now, until the deed is done and they can make other plans. However, Johnnie also hears this, and waits until the officers clear out of the house, leaving him, Annabelle, and a couple of guards. Johnnie, being a badass, knocks out the guards, put on one of their uniforms, and rescues Annabelle. The pair of them escape back into the forest, as a thunderstorm rages. They also encounter a bear in the woods, because that’s basically par for the course with these movies, it would seem.

So is a beartrap, which Annabelle briefly gets caught in (yikes), until she’s freed by Johnnie...who also gets caught in it right afterwards. Nice. With all this trouble in the dark, the two decide to hunker down in the woods. Annabelle thanks Johnnie for coming after her, even in the country of their enemy. And they reconcile as they sleep for the night. Thatnext morning, Johnnie gets his bearings, and sees The General at an encampment down below. Wearing a Union uniform, he devises a plan to get to the train, and warn the South of the Union’s plan.

He convinces Annabelle to hide in a burlap sac, which he carries with him into the encampment. Dude’s a strong guy for being as scrawny as he appears to be. He carries her over his shoulder to the train, then puts her on one of the cabins. The makes his way to the front, and surprises the few men there, pushing them off of it, and stealing back The General! Badass!!!

He gets Annabelle out of the bag and the two attempt to outrun the Union together. They block the way with telephone poles, then grab some wood from recently constructed fences in order to fuel the engine (with some humorous difficulty). The Union catches up quickly, however, and the two are forced to flee again. They dump barrels and other items on board the train onto the tracks, then attempt to replenish the water reserves for the steam locomotive (again with some humorous difficulty) before moving on.

But precious little seems to impede the train’s pursuers. Meanwhile, Annabelle makes herself busy by sweeping the train? Oh ho ho, silly women, with their cleaning and uselessness in vital combat situations! Tee hee hee, why isn’t she pregnant in the kitchen right now? Silly baby receptacles, I mean, women! 

OK, that mildly chauvinistic moment aside, the two continue speeding ahead, but then, at a moment when Johnnie gets off the train for manipulate the tracks, Annabelle winds up on The General by herself!. She reverses the train at almost EXACTLY the wrong moment, nearly causing an accident, but Johnnie’s trick with the track works, diverting the Union trains to another unfinished track. And the two gain a wider lead once again. And then...we reach the Rock River Bridge.

This is where the Union troops are meant to be meeting the trains for supplies, and a vital part of the Union’s plans in the area. Turning the tables on the Union, Johnnie sets a massive fire on the bridge, but gets trapped behind it, and is forced to jump into the river as The General moves off of it. However, he gets back up just in time, and they head out to the southern territories.

As they do, Johnnie changes uniform to a Confederate Grey, so as not to get shot at once they arrive. He warns the Confederate troops or the coming Northern invasion, and they quickly mobilize. He and Annabelle figuratively and literally dress down the commanding officer (nice), and they head out to engage the Northern Invaders! I’m sure it’ll go well for everybody involved. It’s also here that Annabelle reunites with her father, alive and healing. Johnnie, meanwhile, tries to go and help the army face the North.

Speaking of the Union, they’re STILL trying to repair the train track that Johnnie messed up. They finally succeed, and head off to the Rock River Bridge, with the Texas ahead of them. The other troops meet with them after all, and the commander insists that the bridge is in tact enough to cross the bridge. And that leads to...the most expensive scene ever shot, at least at the time.

That’s real. Are you listening to me, THAT IS 100% FUCKING REAL! BUSTER KEATON COLLAPSED A BRIDGE WITH A TRAIN ON IT FOR THIS MOVIE!!! That shit? That’s some next level shit. The Union forces, now basically fucked, try to ford the river, only for the Confederate forces to fend them off, with Johnnie’s help. The Captain, hidden on the bank, starts to pick off soldiers that Johnny’s talking to, only for Johnnie to accidentally kill him with a sword, which flies through the air to get him. Which, yeah, is funny in a macabre way. He also accidentally takes out a dam, flooding the river and fishing the Union soldiers out, forcing them into retreat! Their other supply train is disabled, and the South has won this battle! I mean, booo, but I’m happy for Johnnie, at least.

Hailed as a hero with the rest, they all return to the town, where Johnnie reunites with The General in peace. However, he’s nearly done for, as one of the soldiers, an officer that he knocked out a WHILE ago, has actually been on the train the entire time, and has only now regained consciousness. Johnnie takes him prisoner, and the general in charge of this unit is so impressed by his actions that he brings Johnnie into the army, and promotes him to lieutenant, giving him the Union officer’s sword in the process! Good for you, Johnnie! Proud of you, bud.

Now officially enlisted at last, he and Annabelle happily reunite in love, and makeout right next to The General. And then, Johnnie marches off to war for an army on the losing side of history that’s defending slavery, and in all likelihood dies in the deadliest war in American history. Probably. The movie actually ends on the kiss, but it’s the Civil War, we all know what the fuck went down.

And that’s The General! Wow. I get why Keaton was so excited about this movie; it’s a massive accomplishment in film history, and engaging and entertaining movie, and a cinematic masterpiece...that was directly responsible for eventually ending Keaton’s career.

...See you in the Review! I’ll explain the last part, I promise.

[plasticdean]

stone cold - chapter 4

recruitment

mob!dean-charles chapman au  warnings: language, mentions of drug use word count: 2.3k series masterlist

Justin has been added to the character list so check that out before you read this chapter! 

I didn’t really have many friends growing up. Not a lot of parents were crazy about their kids hanging out with Leo Stone’s son. You really couldn’t blame them for that, my dad is a fucking psycho.

Justin Martinez was my childhood best friend. My mom and his mom were best friends when they were teenagers and as soon as they had kids of their own, they wanted us to have the same friendship they did. However, when we were both six, Justin’s mom died of breast cancer which hit my mom hard, she wasn’t herself for a long time.

After her death, Justin had to move in with his dad who lived in Brooklyn which was around an hour away. Mom would usually drive me there and drop me off to stay the night but after her death, I’d have whatever nanny I had for the time being do it.

Justin’s dad was an asshole; not as much as my dad was but he was definitely up there. He was a drunk junkie and an abusive asshole that spent his days mooching money off of Justin’s mom’s side of the family and saying it was to “help take care of him” and sticking needles in different parts of his body. None of his time was spent taking actual good care of his son and none of the money he’d get was used for Justin. 

As I grew up, I grew protective of him. I wasn’t afraid to call his dad a piece of shit to his face, or even throwing in a punch, knocking him out cold. It didn’t really take much to knock out someone that’s drunk or high, or both. One good hit will have them hit the ground so fast and passed out for a couple of hours.

I don’t know if it was because I couldn’t defend myself like that with my own dad and being able to help someone that went through the shit I did kind of comforted me in some kind of way. Or, maybe it was just because, in the words of my father, “I’m a fucking psycho”.

Whatever it was, I didn’t care, just as long as he was okay.

Justin’s dad ended up going to prison for 15 years for second-degree robbery when we were both 15. After this, he ended up moving away to Massachusetts to live with his aunt and uncle who were loaded with money.

Having to say goodbye to my best friend and my only friend really fucking sucked but I was happy for him, he deserved to have a chance at having a good life and be surrounded by family that loved him and cared for him. 

After moving, he never tried to get in touch with me. He’d either send me short messages or just ignore me. He never tried to call, never answered my calls, and never made plans with me to visit or for me to visit him. I could understand though, once you move away from your toxic life and start a new one that’s actually not shitty, you never wanna go back.

It sucked to not feel needed anymore but it fucking sucked even more to lose what you needed.

_______________

My hands felt clammy, the collar of my dress shirt felt like it was choking me, and my leg couldn’t stop bouncing.

“Can you roll the window down?” I ask my driver from the backseat.

He rolls it down as one of my guards that’s sitting next to me looks at me with concern, “You okay boss?”

Boss. This dude was like 20 years older than me. Hell would have to freeze over before I’d call anyone younger than me “boss”.

I nod and stick my head out of the window just a little bit, “Yeah, I’m just hot.”

I was on my way to the “meeting” my father wanted me to have with one of his workers at the warehouse that our shipments of “goods” went out of. Since this was about missing money, I’m guessing this meeting is gonna be exactly like the one on the yacht. At least this time I wouldn’t have my dad and grandpa breathing down my neck and judging me for every fucking move I make.

I can’t lie and say that I’m not nervous, of course, I am, I’m human. There’s nothing wrong with it as long as I didn’t show that, when you start showing signs in any way that you’re not confident, people will automatically get the upper hand on you.  

I ran through the plan on what I was going to do when I found the guy. Maybe act all buddy buddy to him and then just go all serious and scare the shit out of him until he gives me an answer? Or maybe just start it by beating the shit out of him and ask questions after?

I was taken away from my thoughts as the large warehouse came into view. I let out a deep breath before getting out of the car as it stopped right in front of the building, my men followed me into the entrance doors. 

I approached the first worker I saw, “Is there a Justin that works here?”

He makes eye contact with me, his eyes slightly widen as he realizes who I am, “Uh yes sir, do you want me to get him or show you where he is?”

“Bring him to me, one of my men will go with you to get him then bring him to me. I’ll be out on the docks down at the water,” I say before turning around and walking out, down the hill to the water. 

My two other men stood by my side as I waited for the guy to be brought out. I put my hand on my holster to prepare for any case where the guy comes out with guns blazing.

My heart was beginning to pound harder than it was in the car. I really should’ve smoked a cigarette first before I decided to just eagerly barge into the warehouse. I was just really ready to get this over with.

As I was internally fighting with myself on if I should just say fuck it and pull out a cigarette, two figures came down the hill. I recognized my guard as one of them and the other one was a bit smaller. 

I fixed my posture and clenched my jaw as I gripped the handle of the gun that was still in the holster that was attached to my hip. I had a hard grip on it for maybe 15 seconds before I froze in place.

My heart began pounding faster than before, I could feel myself getting hot as I slowly began to recognize the figure that was next to my guard.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

The look of confidence I attempted was completely wiped away. My guard stood off to the side as I stared at the approaching figure with wide eyes and my mouth slightly open.

“Hey, Dean.”

Justin fucking Martinez.

There he was, right in front of me, seven years older. He looks so different but somehow still the same. He was the same height as me and had the same face full of freckles but had facial hair and he seemed to carry himself in a way I can’t explain. 

7 years is a lot of time and while everyone changes in that amount of time, he was different. He wasn’t that same vulnerable, scared, angry kid he was when we were friends. 

He looked like he has been through shit but still carried himself with confidence and looked fearless. 

He was attractive.

“You work here?” I ask, finally being able to find the words to speak.

He smirked, “You mean I work for you? Yeah, I do.”

As I go to speak he cuts me off, “No, your dad doesn’t know that I work here. He really wasn’t involved with the hiring process here. He has people for that. Or should I say had since they’re your people now.”

I was confused by his monotone voice yet playful look he had on his face. I don’t know if it’s the shock of seeing him again or the fact that I was about to have a “meeting” with my childhood best friend that made me feel so tense and uncomfortable but I knew he could tell I was. He automatically had the upper hand.

I sigh and look away from him for the first time since I saw him, “Listen, Justin, I’m just gonna ask you straight up.”

I look back at him, staring straight into his dark brown eyes, “Did you take money from us?”

He frowns and puts his hands in his pocket, he’d do that when he was nervous, maybe I had the upper hand now.

He shook his head and shrugged, “Why would I steal from you?”

“You didn’t steal from me, you stole from my dad.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Because-”

“Because your dad told you to? So you’re still listening to that asshole, even when you’re the one who’s supposed to be in charge?” 

I had to stop and take a second to think about what he said. He wasn’t wrong, my father was making me clean up his messes or do his dirty work for him when it’s me that owns all of this. 

“Guys, can you give us some time to talk alone? I’ll be fine,” I said to all my guards. They gave me an unsure look before nodding and walking back up the hill where they can still see me but can give me the privacy I needed.

“Just tell me, did you steal money? I’m not gonna kill you over it or anything like that. I just wanna know,” I asked lowly.

Justin sighed and looked out at the water, shaking his head, “I needed the money.”

I close my eyes and sigh. Why Justin, why?

“Before you freak the fuck out, just listen to me, please?” He begs.

I nod before sitting down on the edge of the dock, swinging my legs slightly as I look down at the dark waters below me.

Justin sits down next to me and sighs, “I won’t lie, life was pretty fucking great when I first moved to Massachusetts.”

Ow.

“I mean, not having you there felt really fucking weird and it sucked. I do still feel like an asshole for completely ghosting you cause shit, you were all I had after my mom died. But I was 15, I found a new group of friends, who were complete douchebags. Like seriously, the old me and you would’ve beat the shit out of them,” Justin and I chuckle at the same time, remembering how brutal we were to the arrogant assholes we went to school with.

“Anyways, after I graduated, things just went downhill. My uncle was a fucking prick and kicked me out because “his father kicked him out when he was 18 and it taught him so many things in life so he wanted the same for me” and all that shit but they fucking knew I had nothing planned out which, I will admit, it’s my fault but holy fuck they didn’t even give me time to try and get my shit together. They just threw me out and wouldn’t let me back in. So, because I was basically homeless, I got into the wrong crowd and just got into drugs and alcohol, just like my piece of shit sperm donor. But, one night I just got completely fucked and I ended up having to go to the hospital to get my stomach pumped which, of course, put me in rehab. Dean, the fucking place I went to was so fucking weird and shit but it helped me find a sponsor who basically acts as my babysitter just in case I almost relapse. And because of him, I got this job a little over a year ago.”

A YEAR ago?

“Wait, you’ve been working here for over a year and never thought to just try and get ahold of me?” I ask offended.

Justin chuckled, “Honestly, I thought you would’ve been out of here when you turned 18.”

Fuck, I wish.

“I should’ve but I just can’t go without figuring out what happened to my mom,” I say with a sigh.

“Yeah, I don’t blame you. But I swear Dean, I only took money to pay rent, I was so fucking behind that they were about to evict me and-”

“Justin it’s fine, I don’t give a shit about what you took from my dad,” I say with a smirk.

He lets out a sigh of relief and jokingly wipes his forehead, “Thank god. I’m not gonna lie Dean, you have gotten intimidating as fuck,” he exclaims.

I laugh and shake my head, “I have been learning from my wonderful father and grandpa.”

Justin rolls his eyes, “Fuck them. You are so much better and smarter than them. I hope you take this bullshit business from them and drive it straight into the fucking ground.”

As soon as he said that my plan instantly came into my thoughts. Justin is the only person on this earth that I have always trusted and that I know will always have my back. He could help me with it and greatly benefit from it.

I turn my head to face him, grinning slightly.

Justin faces me and smirks, “Uh oh, I know that look. What are you planning?”

I stand up and adjust my jacket as I look down at him, his dark eyes already focused on me, “I’m gonna take the business, but, I’m gonna drive them straight into the fucking ground…and I want you to help me.”

[yarart4ever]

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! HAMILTON ARRIVED ON DISNEY+ A FEW DAYS AGO WHAAAAAAAAAT!!!?????

as you couldn't tell, I am IN LOVE with Hamilton! the musical got me into discovering the musical fandom! sure I was in love with Hairspray and musicals in general but Hamilton was my first actual music obsession!

this is the LIVE SHOW! just recorded professionally! and Imma do my usual review on it! :3

-lol king george's intro at the beginning! XD

-WHO ELSE BOPPED AND GOT EXCITED DURING THE FIRST SONG IN ACT I: ALEXANDER HAMILTON!?

-I like how the crowd is so respectful to the performers and only laughs and claps when necessary!

-the dance choreography! *chefs kiss* perfecto!

-YO! the actors for John Laurens/Philip, Lafayette/Thomas Jefferson and Hercules Mulligan/ Maddison ARE. FINE! they. are. DADDIES! PERIODT!

-okay but like... the actresses for Angelica and Peggy are also pretty fine! like.. UwU WIFEYS!

-Angelica~, (work, work) Eliza~ and PEGGY! the schuyler sisters~! sorry I had to! TvT

-ANGELICA. IS. A QUEEN! PERIODTTTT!!

-lol everything that comes out of King george's mouth is gold! XD

-RIGHT HAND MAN IS A BOP OH MY GOD! (O///o///O)

-aw, Helpless is so wholesome I love it! <3

-okAY BUT SATISFIED IS MY FAVORITE SONG AND IT'S WHAT GOT ME INTO THE HAMILTON FANDOM! I KNOW THE SONG WORD FOR WORD ISTG-

-lmao who else died at raise a glass reprise cuz... XD it got me!

-WAIT FOR IT IS MY SECOND FAVORITE SONG!! (>///o///<) but like show me mother theodosia pls! T^T

-"I'm a general! WEEEE"  Charles Lee~  best quote by far!

-  the way! John Laurens! looks at Alexander! jesus why does he have to be so attractive!?

-damn Alexander got daddy issues! O_O

-that would be enough almost made me cry what??

-EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR AMERICA'S VERY HOT FIGHTING FRENCHMAN!... wait that's not the lyrics..

-damn! dying is easy, but living is harder... that hit different! :'(

-THE WORLD TURNED UPSIDE DOWN!! HOLY THAT SONG SLAPSSSS!!

-oml Hercules Mulligan's solo (O///_///O) and he sticks his tongue out too! he's a aggressive top hottie and I am living for it!!!

- what comes next was totally foreshadowing for when Trump becomes president. like, "when your people say they hate you, don't come crawling back to me"! like yo! foreshadowing or what??

-aw dear theodosia! my third favorite song! you know, ever since I heard this I wanted to name my child theodosia so that I could sing her this song as a lullaby.

-NO!!! JOHN LAURENS MY HUSBAND!!! T^T </3 I knew he was gonna die anyway cause I've listened to the sundtrack many times but still! and Alexander was so happy singing about his son and then he hears about John's death I'm- :'( I almost cried again during that song... you can probably tell that I love John Laurens..

-NON STOP THO!! LIKE WHAT!?! THIS SONG WAS AWESOME IN THE SOUNDTRACK AND IT'S MORE AWESOME NOW THAT I'M SEEING IT AND SINGING ALONG!! (>///O///<)

~~intermission~~

-okay okay, act II! I'm ready!! give. me. that. tea!

-THOMAS JEFFERSON! HOLY SH!T HE'S HOT!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!

-OH! AND HE DOES THE KISS!! excuse me while I faint of fangirling...

-aw, poor Maddison is sick. lol corona?? I'm telling y'all they knew what was gonna happen in 2020! like even John wanted to help end black slavery and then there was that george floyd situation now and just... foreshadowing all over! :T

-HOLY CRAP YO THERE'S AN ACTUAL RAP BATTLE!! XD WHAAAATT??? like Jefferson and Hamilton got them mics, they be all up in each other's face roasting each other like bro!

-"turn around, bend over I'll show you where my shoe fits!" OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH! GET ROASTED JEFFERSON BAM WHAT??

- lmao why the fnck do they have an grown a$$ man playing a 9 year old?? XD

-okay, I love the sister dynamic for Angelica and Eliza! they're so cute! and I like how no one questions that even though their races are different they're still related. and it bothers me that people nitpick about that. like leave them alone, they are sisters! periodt!

-oh no it's say no to this... I hate this song... I can't believe Hamilton had an affair with someone he doesn't even know! who cares if she's hot?? you're MARRIED!

-and wait... ain't that the actress who played Peggy in the last act?? sheesh no wonder she's so attractive!

-look at this dude saying "lord show me how to say no to this, I don't know how to say no to this"! LIKE BOI! just say no! tf?? it doesn't matter if she's a fncking model! if I was married to a kind hearted, gentle and just generally an amazing person Like Eliza, and a woman pulled me in their bed and said "stay~" I would've  been like "HAHA nope! peace out my guy, I'm already taken thank you very much and they do it to me better than you ever did! periodt!" and I would leave. it's that easy!

-"and her bodies screaming hell yes" BOI IF YOU DON'T KEEP YOUR D!CK IN YOUR PANTS AND GO HOME ALEXANDER I SWEAR TO FnCKING ALLAH......

-and he fncked up... that's it... I'm done!! Deuses! *gives peace sign and leaves*

-no one else was in the room? okay we getting hype now! XP

-damn Aaron Burr is a great dancer! XD

-oh sh!t oh sh!t there's another rap battle! same people too... everyone take cover! seriously this is not a drill!

-damn! okay did not hear this yet?? uhm so.... Hamilton snapped. and not the good type of snapped too... the moment he was given a opportunity to speak he literally shouted "YOU MUST BE OUTTA YOUR GODDAMN MIND!" and when I tell you I shook....

-"daddy's callin'.." oKAY FIRST OF ALL HOW WRONG DOES THAT SOUND TO YOU??

-lol when Burr came on stage and started singing, Jefferson was so confused he was like "bruh the hell did you come from??" and I died! XD

-oh sh!t Burr and Jefferson are joining forces- LOOK OUT EVERYONE AS THEY BRING THE THUNDER!

-YO THE RAPPING IN THIS SONG IS LIKE WOWZAH! LIKE BARS BRO! :D LIKE FnCKING M&M IS QUAKING!

-"sir, I don't know what you heard but WHATEVER IT IS.... Jefferson started it.." LMFAO ALEX I SWEAR TO GOD XD

-one last time oh no I'm scared this song is gonna make me cry isn't it??

-YEP I WAS RIGHT! I'M CRYING NOW! GREAT!

-George Washington's voice is so powerful oh my lord... and oop! he's crying too! also great! :'D

-my hEART T^T-

-King George Istg STOP! XD

-also yay, I like how they used a woman for the guard/right hand man to the king! as a feminist... I approve UwU

-who else flinched when the king started laughing........ because I did....

-"sit down John you FAT MOTHER FnCKER!" oop... was not expecting that!

-NO ALEX DON'T TELL THEM THEY'RE JOINING FORCES YOU'RE DEAD IF YOU TELL THEM THAT- aaaaaaaand you told them... smart.. real smart -_-

-okay but Thomas' reaction was even more funny on screen then in the sound track X'D

-welp... now Burr's gonna tell everybody.. oh wait no.. ALONG with Jefferson and Maddison... good job, Alexander..

-holy sh!t the reynolds pamphlet! he actually wrote it down?? I mean I knew this happened but STILL! WHAT THE FnCK, HAMILTON?!?

-Jefferson is getting to hype for this I swear XD

-OH CRAP ANGELICA IS HERE!

-"all the way from London? DAYUM!" that's me!

-damn, work it, King George! XP

-YEAH DAMN RIGHT HIS POOR WIFE ELIZA DIDN'T DESERVE THIS! >:(

-aw man, Burn hit's different! especially when you catch your ex cheating on you. if that ever happens, LISTEN TO THIS SONG! trust me!

-I feel so bad for her.. :(

-Philip saying "the scholars say I got the same virtuosity and brains as my pops, the ladies say that's not where the resemblance stops~" MADE ME DIE! LIKE ON THE SPOT! NO JOKE!

-the ladies are getting hype for Philip and honestly I CAN SEE WHY! HE'S A DADDY! DUNNO! UwU

-OOF! BEEF!

-he got shot AGAIN!?!

-he dies AGAIN!?!

-WHY DOES THIS HANDSOME BOI KEEP DYING?? LET HIM LIVE BRO!! T^T

-poor Eliza...

-oh god please no not it's quiet uptown! Imma cry again!

-oop... and now I'm crying again... ain't that fun! :'D

-the way they held hands at the end! T^T be still my heart!

-DAYUM! Hamilton chose JEFFERSON over Burr! oof, that's gotta sting!

-"you know what we can change that, you know why?" me: why? "because I'm the president.." me: *blushes and sweats*.... uh.. ahem... welp, that's enough convincing for me you got it sir!  I am so sorry... TvT

-oh no they about to duel! oh sh!t oh sh!t! I'm scared!

-lol A. Ham! XD I'm sorry I just find that so funny! HAM! AHA do I look like a Christmas meal to you?? lmao

-he's... HE'S AIMING HIS PISTOL AT THE SKY! BURR HOLD UP DON'T SHOOT DON'T-

-... he shot Hamilton...

-seriously Burr??

-Eliza has been through many heartbreaks right now..

-oh this is my 5th favorite song. who lives who dies, who tells your story... I'm gonna cry again, aren't I?

-yep! definitely just cried! that song always hits home for me..

I love this musical so much! no words can describe how much it means to me. so I suggest you listen to the soundtrack yourself, if you haven't and tell me how you feel about it. c:

[thelighthousemp3]

in the spirit of halloween, i’d like to bring back a b99 heist fic i wrote a year ago!! haven’t been able to get much writing time in this year, so here it is from last year!

finders keepers, losers weepers

12:00 AM, October 31, The Bullpen, Object of Heist Unnamed

"H-h-heist time!" Jake calls. It's officially 12:00 AM of October 31, and he rolls out from under his desk fully dressed and tangled up in a red blanket. Jake quickly stands up and kicks the blanket and his pillow back under his desk. A light quickly flickers on in Captain Holt's office, right as the elevator door opens to reveal Amy Santiago-Peralta. She is in her sergeant's uniform, and she sends an evil smile towards Jake.

Jake immaturely sticks his tongue out at her. He swivels around and looks towards Captain Holt's office. He is sitting at his desk, glancing at Jake as well. Jake glares right back at both of them, and Amy quickly steps out of the elevator before it closes.

Suddenly, there is a loud thumping sound coming from the ceiling. Part of the ceiling pops open and out tumbles a ruffled -looking Charles Boyle.

"Guys! You're here! I'm on team Jake!" he says ecstatically, brushing what looks to be chicken feathers off of his shirt.

As Charles stands up, loud music ripples through the bullpen and reveals Gina Linetti, all wrapped up in her unicorn blanket. Except that she's not alone under the blanket.

A mess of curly black hair pops up and Rosa Diaz scowls at her coworkers. Gina shrugs the blanket off of them. "We're gonna win, bitches, so don't even think about―"

"Winning? That's my specialty," Terry Jeffords grins. He's wearing sweatpants and a white tank top, and he has emerged from a supply closet.

"Is everyone here? Staying in the bullpen overnight was my idea. I waited until you all left!" Jake whines. "I mean, at least Hitchcock and Scully actually went home."

"Actually, no. They're in the break room. Sleeping," Rosa says, and Jake frowns.

"Dammit! I thought I could count on those two, for once," Jake says. "Come on! None of you guys actually even went home?"

"I went home," Amy says. "Just to confirm that you weren't coming home."

"Yeah, okay, Ames. Why are you in your uniform? I mean, don't get me wrong; you look the hottest in it, but why?" Jake asks.

Amy shrugs. "I felt like it. Gonna carry out this heist in style," she says, rolling out the y. Amy unconsciously brushes off the sides of her uniform, and catches Jake staring. She rolls her eyes at him.

Jake quickly turns away and pulls half of a crushed bagel out of his pockets. "Well, at least I brought breakfast. Does anyone have any cream cheese? Or nutella?" Jake says, biting into his bagel.

"I brought breakfast too!" Charles exclaims. He scrambles to his desk and pulls out a large lunchbox. "Caviar and salmon pancakes, pigeon feet with bacon―"

Gina wrinkles her nose. "Please, do not eat any of that in front of us. Anyways, what are we gonna steal this year?"

Right on cue, Captain Holt emerges from his office, carrying a badge. "This is Sergeant Jefford's badge."

Terry's jaw drops as he glares at Captain Holt. "My badge! How'd you get that!"

"A heist master never reveals his secrets," Captain Holt says mysteriously. "Anyways, the objective of this year's heist is so steal Sergeant Jefford's badge. We do have some ground rules now, though. No one is allowed to put a tracker on the object of the heist. No one is allowed to put a tracker on each other. No cheating."

"Sir, what exactly do you mean by cheating?" Jake asks.

"I don't care, Peralta, just no cheating," Captain Holt says. "Now, Sergeant Jefford's badge will be put right here, in the middle of the bullpen." Captain Holt walks to the center of the bullpen, where a stand has already been set up. "Also, another rule that I had forgot to mention― You are not allowed to steal the badge and drive it to Kansas."

"Damn it!" Rosa says. "How'd you know?"

"You are not very good at hiding your notepads," Captain Holt tells her. Rosa rolls her eyes.

"Whatever. I'll drive it to Texas instead," Rosa mutters quietly under her breath, so that no one is able to hear her. She shoved her hands deep into the pockets of her leather jacket.

"Don't worry. I have a better plan," Gina says to her, and kisses her on the cheek. Rosa's face softens and she gazes at Gina, until they both catch sight of Terry's eyes nearly popping out of their sockets. Rosa glares at him. Terry puts two thumbs up and smiles joyfully at her.

"Teams!" Jake says. "Charles, you're with me. And if you dare give away my plan, then I will become best friends with Doug Judy forever and ever," Jake threatens.

"Sergeant Jeffords. I choose you for my team," Captain Holt says. Terry nods and goes to stand by Captain Holt's side.

"Well, I choose Rosa and Gina!" Amy yelps quickly.

"Not fair! I wanted Gina!" Jake complains. "You can't do that!"

"Yes she can," Gina says, examining a sharp purple nail. "Rosa and I come as a set. You can't separate us."

Rosa scowls, but she doesn't move to deny Gina's claim. They both walk over to stand by Amy.

"What about us? The numbers are uneven," Jake complains loudly.

"You guys can have Hitchcock and Scully," Rosa says. "Hitchcock! Scully! Wake. Up." Rosa calls, and a minute later, they stumble out of the break room, rubbing their eyes.

"Ugh, fine," Jake says. "Scully, you're on my team."

Captain Holt wrinkles his nose. "Hitchcock, you are the only one left, so I suppose that you are on my team," he says. Terry is vigorously shaking his head and mouthing the words no no no no no.

"Let the heist begin!" Jake calls enthusiastically as soon as Terry's badge is in its place a the center of the bullpen.

"Can Scully and I go back to sleep? If we don't get seventeen hours of sleep, then―"

"I don't wanna hear it, Hitchcock. We're going to win this heist," Terry says.

"Aw, man," Hitchcock scowls. He looks sadly towards Scully, who shrugs.

"Okay, back to work, everyone!" Captain Holt calls. "This precinct is not going to run itself."

"You got it, Cap'n," Jake says, pulling Charles along with him. Charles waves enthusiastically to Amy, who aggressively pulls both Rosa and Gina by their arms to a storage room.

12:16 AM, October 31,  The Storage Room With That Blue Couch, Object of Heist in Bullpen

"No, no, no! What are you doing, Amy! This place is probably bugged! This isn't where we should meet to talk about our secret plan! Someone will figure out what we're going to do!" Gina scolds.

"Yeah," Rosa says, "Gina's right. Jake or the Captain or someone is probably listening to us right now," Rosa says, pulling out her phone. She quickly types something into the notepad app, and shows it to Amy and Gina, who nod.

12:17 AM, October 31, Captain Holt's Office, Object of Heist in Bullpen

Meanwhile, Captain Holt and Terry both meet in the Captain's office with all of the blinds down. Hitchcock has passed out on the couch in Holt's office, and Holt eyes him with contempt.

"Sergeant Jeffords."

"Captain Holt."

"We play to win," Captain Holt dictates.

"I agree, sir," Terry says. "Also, I can't afford to lose my badge. I need that thing."

"Ah, yes. It may be tossed around from team to team if we do not get to it first. Which is why we are going to get to it first. Do you have a plan, Sergeant?" Holt asks, looking at Terry in the eye.

"Uh, no? Terry hasn't had much time― or sleep― to think of a plan," Terry says with uncertainty.

"I thought so. Which is why I have been planning this heist since the second heist that ever took place in this precinct. I've been planning next year's heist for even longer, but right now we must focus on today." Captain Holt grabs a binder from the shelf behind him and flips it open. "I have everything in this binder right here," he says.

"Sir," Terry says, looking down at the binder. Captain Holt follows his gaze down to the binder. It is empty, except for a button. The button is black and purple with white letters on it. It says, TEAM SANTIAGO 2K18 on it in bold letters.

"Santiago," Captain Holt hisses. "She's played me as well as Joanna Newsom plays the harp."

Terry looks at Captain Holt in confusion. "Um, anyways, what do we do now?"

"We may not have any intel on Santiago's team, but we sure do have some good stuff on Peralta," Captain Holt says.

"Uh, sir, they're both called Peralta's," Terry says. "They got married, remember?"

"Yes, yes, but how will you know who I am referring to when I say Peralta?" Captain Holt reasons.

"Good point."

12:22 AM, October 31, The Bullpen, Object of Heist in Bullpen

Two minutes later, Jake wheels his chair over to Charles's desk. "Dude. We have to win this," Jake says.

"And I agree with you totally, Jakey!" Charles says, munching on a strange looking snack that Jake would rather not ask about. "Anyways, Jake, I've been planning this for a month now. I've actually been planning out all of my future Halloween costumes since I was ten years old―"  

"Buddy, buddy. I've been planning this heist for like the last two years. And let me tell you, I've got some very good stuff," Jake begins. Charles looks on eagerly as Jake leans in closer. "So, what I know, is that Amy's team knows what Holt's going to be up to. Holt's going to find out that Amy knows, and he's going to proceed to do exactly what he thinks Amy thinks he's not going to do. You following along?"

"Yup," Charles says. "Would you like an oyster leg?"

"Gah, no! Anyways, the thing is, that Amy knows that he's going to do that. She knows Captain Holt very well. Maybe even better than Kevin. Augh, no, scratch that, she probably doesn't know Holt better than Kevin. Which brings us to our next step―"

12:30 AM, October 31, Babylon, Object of Heist in Bullpen

Gina sniffs a rose-scented candle and then lights it with a pocket lighter that she apparently keeps on the windowsill of the secret bathroom.

"Rose-scented candles?" Amy asks in disbelief, looking at Rosa. Rosa shrugs, inhaling the air.

"It was Gina's idea."

"Because they remind me of Diaz," Gina says, standing up. "Anyways, what's the plan here? Rosa and I were thinking that we would just take the badge, run, get onto her bike, and ride to Kansas," Gina pitches.

"Gina, that's against the rules," Amy says. “Besides, I've been working on this forever. I know what's going to happen. It's actually pretty simple, you see."

"Then do tell, Amy," Rosa says. "What's going to happen?"

"Well, you know how I'm always talking about binders?" Amy asks, twirling a lock of hair around her fingers.

Rosa snorts. "You're always talking about binders."

Amy pulls out a thick maroon binder from behind her. Rosa's jaw drops open.

"Where the hell did that come from? I know you're obsessed with binders, but you literally did not have one like two seconds ago. Where do you keep them?"

"In your bra," Gina snorts. She is still turned away from Rosa and Amy.

"I stole it," Amy says breathlessly. Gina turns around and gapes at her.

"You, Amy Boring Pantsuits Santiago-Peralta, stole something? This is something new. Oh my gosh, this is going to make headlines!" Gina trills.

"It's not like I stole it from a stationary store or anything," Amy snaps. "It's Holt's. Since I've always talked about binders, he's started to organize stuff like me. In binders. And I just happen to know that he's been working on this one for a very long time, and it's all about this year's Halloween Heist."

"That's even better! Holt is like your idol, and you stole from him! Oh, this is some scalding-hot tea!" Gina cackles, dropping the small lighter back onto the windowsill.

Rosa stares at the binder."Oh, my god, Santiago, you have outdone yourself."

"But, like, won't Holt notice that it's missing?" Gina asks.

"Well, not at first he won't. I've bought a replica binder and put it in this binder's spot. Remember the button maker that you got me one time, Rosa? I made some kick-ass buttons from it." Amy pulls out a bunch of pins from her pockets. They're black, which white letters outlined in purple.

"Team Santiago 2k18. Nice," Rosa comments, taking one.

"Why isn't it like, Team Linetti 2k Gay Teen?" Gina asks. Amy shrugs, and hands one to Gina, who pins it onto her hip. Rosa puts hers on her left arm, and Amy pins hers to her collar. Amy puts her hand out, and Rosa and Gina stack their hands on top.

"Team Santiago 2k―"

"Gay Teen!" Gina cuts in, and Rosa laughs. "Let's do this, team. Actually, what's next?" Gina asks, with a surprising amount of interest, at least, for Gina Linetti.

"I put a button in Holt's binder, so he'll know it's me. And basically, he'll know that I've got his binder and his plan, so what he's going to do is obviously the opposite of what he's got planned. But I know that, and I am so prepared for that." Amy puts a hand on her own button, wearing the proudest Santiago smile that she's ever worn. "You have out done yourself, Amy," she says to herself.

12:45 AM, October 31, Captain Holt's Office, Object of Heist in Bullpen

"So, Jeffords, we must have to do something irrational. Something that Santiago would never expect. She is the real enemy right now," Captain Holt says.

"What about Jake and Charles?" Terry asks. Holt waves his hand.

"We'll see. I'm sure Peralta has got something up his sleeve. More specifically, he's going to use a fire extinguisher to distract us and get the badge. Except, he won't be able to if we get it first," Captain Holt says.

"How didya know that?" Terry asks in astonishment.

"It has taken me only five and a half months to plant the idea in his head, but it is there all right, Sergeant. So the next thing that we are going to do is get this badge."

"I like this plan," Terry says. "So, how are we gonna grab my badge? Distraction?"

"No. I grab it. I run. You, Sergeant, carry me, and we're going to hide it where it's safe."

"It's like one in the morning. Captain, are you thinking this through?" Terry asks.

"Of course not! Thinking it through is what Santiago wants! We can't give her what she wants. Not again, " Captain Holt says.

"Aaand, title of your sex tape!" Jake's voice echoes through the room.

"Peralta? Where are you? Are you in my ceiling?" Captain Holt says warily.

"Nope! I'm in the bullpen!" Jake's voice calls. Terry gestures to Captain Holt's laptop. Holt suddenly realizes what is going on.

"Peralta, you sick son of a bitch," he mutters, and picks of his laptop, throwing it against the opposite wall as hard as as he can. It smashes and clutters onto the floor in a jumble of pieces. "Take that, son."

1:00 AM, October 31, The Bullpen, Object of Heist is…  I Don't Even Know

"Now, Charles!" Jake calls. Charles presses the button on some sort of remote, and suddenly, many, many fire extinguishers all go off at once, concealing the badge from sight. Jake dashes off towards it.

"Not on my watch, Peralta!" Captain Holt roars, and leaps at Jake. Team Santiago 2k Gay Teen leaps to their feet in surprise.

"Rosa! Rosa, go! " Amy says, shoving Rosa into the confusion. Rosa runs towards Jake, effectively tackling him to the floor. Captain Holt swivels into both of them, and the three crash onto the floor.

"Aw, no, Rosa! You have most definitely ruined my plan! What am I going to do now?" Jake says haughtily, wiping fire extinguisher gunk from his face.

"Peralta, you monster. Where's Boyle?" Rosa shouts, and Amy spot him quickly slipping inside of the elevator. "Stairs, Santiago, take the stairs! " Rosa screams. Amy comes to her senses and turns quickly, running down the stairs as quickly as she can.

Rosa looks down to see Jake grinning underneath her. He pushes her off and stands up, wiping his jeans off. Rosa groans.

"This was my good leather jacket. You're gonna pay for this, Jake," Rosa says.

"No, I'm not. I'm gonna win. You guys aren't!" Jake says cheerfully.

Rosa rolls her eyes. "No, I mean that you're actually gonna pay for a visit to the dry-cleaner's," Rosa says, punching him in the arm.

"Oh. Okay, then."

"Move," Rosa says, pushing him away. She stands up and runs to the stairs, catching a glimpse of Terry bounding down the stairs. "Terry!" Rosa screams, and jumps. A split second later, she lands on his back, and Terry shouts.

"Diaz! I am your superior officer! You can't just―"

"Detective Diaz, I am your superior officer. Bone. I've heard it all, Jeffords," Rosa says monotonously.  What are you and Holt planning!" Rosa holds onto Terry's shoulders as he vigorously tries to shake her off.

"Nothin'! We're not planning anything. What are you planning, Diaz?"

"I'm here!" A voice calls out. Gina Linetti appears in front of them, and points to Amy, who has tackled Charles to the ground and is valiantly trying to grab the badge.

"Where did Gina come from?" Terry mutters.

"Magic," Gina whispers. They all snap their attention back to Amy, who has let out a shout.

She manages to pry the badge out of Charles's sweaty fingers. Amy struggles to her feet and barely has a split second to start on her victory dance, before Charles tries pulling Amy back down and onto the floor.

"Rosa!" Amy screams, preparing to launch the badge in the air. Rosa leaps to catch it as soon as it leaves Amy's hands, but the badge swivels in the other direction and towards Gina. Gina fumbles with it for a moment before grasping onto it tightly.

"Snake eyes! Terry hates snake eyes!" Terry says furiously.

"Run, Gina!" Rosa calls, and Gina sprints with the badge and to her car. It won't unlock, and both Charles and Terry are gaining on her. Rosa's motorcycle is parked right next to Gina's car, so Gina mounts it as soon as Rosa tosses her the keys with a meaningful look.

"Gina, no! You don't know how to―" Terry calls.

"How hard can it be?" Gina calls glamorously,  and the motorcycle whizzes to life. Surprisingly well, Gina rides the bike out of the garage and out into the streets. She disappears from view a moment later, and Charles crumples to the ground, wheezing.

Rosa is still covered in fire extinguisher substance, so she gladly accepts the napkin that Amy offers to her. "How did Gina do that?" Amy asks in astonishment.

"I gave her a few lessons about how to ride a motorcycle," Rosa says. "Also, I know where she'll be, because I have a tracker on my bike. Holt only said no trackers on people, object of heist, blah blah blah," Rosa say, watching Charles and Terry aggressively argue with each other.

"Come on. Let's go," Amy says, and they trudge towards the elevator.

2:00 AM, October 31, The Bullpen, Object of Heist in the Possession of Gina Linetti

"Okay, where the hell could Gina be?" both Terry and Jake mutter at their desks at the same time. Charles shrugs from Jake's side of the bullpen. He is currently wearing a costume, and no one can tell who he is.

"Okay, Charles. I give up. Who or what the hell are you?" Jake asks.

"Alain Ducasse! You know, famous French chef? He's so cool. Once, Genevieve went to his restaurant in Paris, and she said it was awesome. I'm dying to go," Charles explains.

"Well, what about Gina getting away, huh?" Jake says moodily.

"I didn't even knew that she could ride! That was so cool!"

Jake, Rosa, and Captain Holt have all changed into fresh clothes, and the Captain sits with Terry at Terry's desk. They discuss further plans of what to do, and Amy and Rosa sit atop of Rosa's desk. Rosa looks at her phone, and tilts the screen towards Amy.

"She's at your place?" Amy whispers.

"Ssshh!" Rosa hisses.

"Sorry."

"Let's get out of here," Rosa says. Amy and Rosa both slyly creep out of the bullpen and down the stairs. They take Amy's car, since Rosa's bike has gone with Gina, and head over to Rosa's place.

2:20 AM, October 31, Rosa's Apartment, Object of Heist in the Possession of Team Santiago 2k Gay Teen

Gina is there, curled up in Rosa's bed. She is fast asleep, and she clutches Terry's badge to her chest as she sleeps. Rosa creeps over to her quietly, careful not to wake her. She pries the badge from Gina's sleeping fingers, and takes it to her secret safe once she is sure that Amy isn't watching her.

After the badge is safe and secure, Rosa pulls open her closet and tosses a t-shirt to Amy. "Come on. Get out of that, and get some damn sleep. We're all tired."

Amy complies and changes into the pajamas that Rosa has supplied for her. Rosa changes into some more comfortable clothes herself, and is about to flop onto her bed next to Gina, before sitting up.

"Wait," Rosa says, and Amy turns. "We should take turns sleeping. Just in case," Rosa says. "You sleep first."

Amy nods, and heads out of Rosa's room and to her couch. Rosa follows her, sitting down at the kitchen table and pulling out her phone to kill some time. She stares at her pure black lockscreen for a little bit, before drifting off into a mindless sleep.

Rosa isn't exactly a heavy sleeper. But right now, she isn't exactly a light sleeper either, because she's only gotten two hours of sleep before the heist had started, and she's extremely tired. So currently in Rosa's apartment, there isn't a single awake and alert soul.

3:30 AM, October 31, Outside Of Rosa's Apartment, Object of Heist in the Possession of Team Santiago 2k Gay Teen

Captain Holt and Terry tiptoe up the fire escape and pause at Rosa's apartment.

"Sir," Terry says in a hushed whisper, "how are we going to get in?"

Captain Holt pulls a small box out of his jacket. "Jeffords, I have broken into Santiago and Peralta's apartment before, and it was a piece of cake. I have got this."

"But Captain, this is Rosa. Not even the worst of all criminals can get into Rosa's apartment," Terry says nervously, eyeing the dim light pouring out of one of Rosa's apartment windows.

"The best of detectives can, though. Let me tell you something, Jeffords," Captain Holt says, beginning to work on the door. "Every single Family Game Night that we have had here? I have been studying every corner of Diaz's apartment, and I have every square centimeter mapped out. We are going to win this heist," Captain Holt says. Terry stares at him astonishment, and then looks to the door as a small popping noise occurs.

"Damn, Captain!" Terry says in disbelief. Captain Holt shushes him as he quietly creeps into the apartment, with Terry at his heels. They tiptoe past sleeping Rosa. She stirs for a moment, and both Terry and Holt stop in their tracks. Rosa resumes into her deep slumber, and Captain Holt continues.

They walk past Amy, who doesn't move from her unconscious state. Terry has his phone out to snap a few pictures, and Holt doesn't comment as Terry gleefully captures photographs of the two women. Holt leads Terry to a room down the hallway, and quietly opens the door.

"Gina's on the bed," Terry whispers. Captain Holt doesn't answer, and kneels down to lift up the fur rug that is laid down on the floor. Captain Holt pries a loose floorboard up, revealing a safe. He works on it for a few seconds, until it opens, and he lifts up Terry's badge in victory. It's all that Terry can do to not squeal loudly at their clear win. Captain Holt hands Terry the badge, and Terry stuffs it in his jacket pocket.

Holt pulls another small object out of his pocket and sets it down in the safe. "Two can play at that game," he mutters, and Terry bends down to get a closer look at the object. It is a button, but in white with navy blue letters that say HOLT WINS 2018.

"Nice," Terry says appreciatively, and Captain Holt closes the safe. They creep out of the apartment in the same spirit, making sure to close the back door as they leave victoriously.

5:00 AM, October 31, Rosa's Apartment, Object of Heist in the Possession of Team Holt Wins 2018

Rosa wakes up with a start at the table and curses loudly, waking Amy up. Amy's head snaps up and she fumbles for her watch. "It's five o'clock," Rosa tells her. "Damn it, I fell asleep! We have to make sure that Terry's badge is still there," Rosa says, and stands up. Amy wearily follows her into the room where Gina is still asleep. Rosa bends down to open her safe, and curses loudly as soon as she does so.

"What?" Amy asks, walking over. Rosa hands her the button, and Amy's eyes widen. "How dare- I hate- I'm gonna―" Amy stutters, dropping the button. "How did they get in?"

"I don't know," Rosa says gravely. "But how did they crack my safe?"

Amy goes to shake Gina awake. "You can have an autograph later," Gina mumbles sleepily, turning over. Rosa gently pushes Amy away and sits down at Gina's side.

"Gina, wake up. The badge is gone, do you hear me?" Rosa says roughly.

All of a sudden, Gina's eyes flutter open and she dramatically sits up. "Noo! My baby! But we were going to win, Rosie! Who did it? I will have revenge," Gina seethes. Rosa soothingly puts a hand on Gina's shoulder.

"It was Holt. Holt did it," Amy says.

"I knew it! I always knew that son of a bitch had it in for me," Gina scoffs.

"We're heading back to the precinct. Gina, you're with my on my bike," Rosa orders, and the team scrambles to their vehicles.

5:20 AM, October 31, The Bullpen, Object of Heist in Possession of Team Holt Wins 2018

"Okay. Where's Holt," Rosa says loudly, rudely waking up Jake and Charles, who have been asleep at their desks for a while.

"Why you looking for Holt?" Jake slurs sleepily. "Don't you have the― urgh― badge?"

Rosa spots a flash of movement in Captain Holt's office. The blinds are down, and she marches over to the office with Amy and Gina at her heels. Rosa vigorously tries the doorknob, but it is locked. In a fit of anger, Rosa lifts her leg and kicks, effectively breaking the knob off.

Amy watches this unfold in blatant shock. "Oh my god, Rosa, you just―"

Rosa ignored her and pushes her way into the office. She looks around wildly, before spotting a man sitting on the couch. "You," Rosa says menacingly, "what did Holt hire you for?"

"Uh, me? I- who's Holt? The police Captain told me to wait here. I'm filing a report," the man stutters.

Rosa snorts. "Yeah, right. What happened? Someone TP your house?" she says sarcastically.

"There were eggs too," the man mutters quietly, as Captain Holt appears in his office.

"Detective Diaz! May I ask why part of the door to my office is broken?" Holt says loudly. Rosa spins around, and Amy coughs quietly.

Rosa holds up the button that Holt left at her apartment. "May I ask why this was in my personal safe? How the hell did you even break into my safe? I need answers, and I need them now, " Rosa says harshly.

Captain Holt snorts. "Diaz, your apartment is extremely easy to break into. Perhaps not easier than Peralta and Santiago's apartment, but still, easy. Furthermore, you should be more creative with your passwords. Your safe's password is 'Gina.' I was able to guess it on the first attempt," Captain Holt tells her.

At this point, all three women are staring at Holt with their jaws dropped.

"Your password is me? Aw, Rosa, that's so cute," Gina cooes.

"Shut up. I'm changing it," Rosa mutters.

"When did you break into my apartment? And why was it easy?" Amy splutters.

The corner of Captain Holt's mouth turns up. "Not only was it easy, it extremely easy, Amy. Courtesy of the Dad key that Jake gifted to me last Christmas," Captain Holt says, smiling wickedly.

Amy gasps. " No! You misuse the Dad key!"

"There were no rules that came with they key, Santiago-Peralta. I can do whatever that I would like with it," Captain Holt grins. The amount of time that Captain Holt is holding the smile on his face is really starting to become disturbing.

"As soon as this is over, I'm writing you a list of rules!" Amy promises. Captain Holt merely smirks.

"Where's the badge, Captain?" Rosa demands.

"I cannot tell you that," Captain Holt says, walking to his desk. "Dismissed."

Team Santiago 2k Gay Teen grudgingly walks out of Holt's office. The man sitting on Holt's sofa frowns. "What about me?" he asks in confusion.

Holt nearly rolls his eyes at the man. "You too. Get lost, Jim," Holt says.

"My name is John," the man mutters in offense. He stands up and starts to leave Captain Holt's office.

"Close the door behind you," Captain Holt instructs. John does his best to close the broken door. It swings back open.

5:35 AM, October 31, Babylon, Object of Heist in Possession of Team Holt Wins 2018

"Okay, so here's the plan," Amy says. "I know that Jake knows where Holt's keeping the badge, but I don't know where the badge actually is. But Jake's going to get it, and I know where Jake's gonna put it," Amy claims.

"And then we take it from them," Rosa grins.

"I like this plan," Gina murmurs absentmindedly. Her hands are weaving through Rosa's hair, and Amy can't tell it she's braiding Rosa's hair or merely playing with it.

"So when will Jake and Charles go for it?" Rosa asks. Amy shrugs.

"Hold on, let me text him," Amy says, pulling out her phone.

Rosa frowns. "How is that―"

"I'd give it two hours," Amy says. "They're still mastering their plan."

"Did he text you that?" Rosa snorts.

"No. I asked him how he was doing. He replied 'fine.' I'm married to Jake. I can read his even through a five letter text, Rosa," Amy says. Gina smiles approvingly.

7:45 AM, October 31, Outside of Captain Holt's House, Object of Heist in Possession of Team Holt Wins 2018

Charles shivers. "It's getting cold, Jake," he says, wrapping his jacket around himself tighter.

"Okay, Charles, you know what you're gonna do, right?" Jake asks quickly.

"Yeah," Charles says.

"Okay, then. Go now, dude. Don't fail me!" Jake calls as Charles darts around to the side of the house. Jake stuffs his hands in his pockets after he rings the doorbell. He waits for a few minutes until Kevin answers the door.

Kevin has hastily pulled a sweater over his pajamas, and he greets Jake at the door. "Peralta," Kevin says, and nods.

"Kevin! We made a deal last week, right?" Jake says.

"Ah, yes. I do recall you saying that you would join my literature class for four months. You also promised me a boxed set of 1800s French poetry," Kevin says. Jake nods.

"Yes, yes, absolutely. I will do all of that. But you, my man, have to keep up your end of the deal too," Jake says, locking eyes with Kevin. Kevin sighs.

"All right, then, Peralta. As long as this keeps Raymond's work life away from us," he says. Kevin pulls out a shining badge and hands it to Jake.

"Oooh! Shiny!" Jake chirps, running his fingers over the smooth badge that he recognizes to be a decoy that Holt had definitely made.

"I polished it," Kevin says. He moves to close the door, but Jake sticks his foot through the crack. Kevin stares at Jake in confusion, pulling the door back open. "What? Our deal has been made, Jake."

"Uh―" Jake quickly thinks of something to say to stall Kevin. "What kind of polish did you use, Kev?"

"First of all, do not call me that. I used―"

Jake stops listening as soon as he hears a distinct 'meow' that he recognizes as Charles's signal. He pats Kevin on the shoulder and backs out of the doorway. "Good talk! Actually, I've got to now! Charles is probably waiting for me. Thanks again, Kev. Gotta go! Bye!" Jake says, pulling the door close from outside of the house. Charles has returned to the car and is sitting in the passenger's seat. Jake gets out of the car and pulls out the car keys.

"Did you get it?" Jake questions with excitement. Charles holds up the real badge in triumph and squeals.

"We did it, Jake! I put in the fake badge! We won! Team Cool Boys Jake and Charles for the win!"

"Actually, we still have like over twelve hours until the heist is officially over. Just gotta keep this baby safe until then," Jake says, opening the glove compartment of his car. He slides the badge in. "Also, cool team name, but only if we can spell 'boys' with a z instead of an s."

"Yes! Yes, absolutely! That is so cool," Charles says ecstatically.

"Team Cool Boyz Jake and Charles it is!" Jake announces, and the pair heads back to the precinct with the badge in their possession

9:45 AM, October 31, Captain Holt's Office, Object of Heist in Possession of Team Cool Boyz Jake and Charles

Captain Holt turns off the phone in satisfaction. "That was my husband," he informs Terry. "A few months ago, Jake made a deal with Kevin, so that Kevin would help him win the heist. Just as I had anticipated, Jake dropped by today for the badge, which I assure you, is still secure in my home. Kevin gave him a decoy badge I had made months ago. Peralta is a fool, thinking my own husband would double-cross me," Captain Holt says.

"Up high, man," Terry says, lifting up his hand for a high-five. Captain Holt stares at him until Terry awkwardly drops his hand back to his side. "What I mean, sir, is that this heist is ours."

"Yes, it is, Sergeant. Yes it is."

10:30 AM, October 31, The Bullpen, Object of Heist in Possession of Team Cool Boyz Jake and Charles

Amy sidles up to Jake's side. "Hey," she says.

"Is this a trick? Ames, if it's a trick, then I'm not enjoying it. I don't have the badge, okay? And even if I did, I wouldn't tell you," Jake says quickly.

"It's not a trick, Jake," Amy assures him. She leans her head on his shoulder. "It might be Halloween, Jake, but last Sunday was your turn to get the groceries. You forgot." Amy laces her hand with his, tracing her thumb over his palm.

"Damn it! Oh my god, Ames, thank you so much for reminding me. I'll just go and do that right now!" Jake says, kissing Amy on the forehead and bounding towards the elevator. Once he gets down to his car, however, it won't start. Jake notices that the gas tank is empty, and curses loudly. He gets out of the car and locks it, pocketing the keys.

Jake heads back up to the bullpen. "Hey, Ames, I also forgot to fill up my gas tank, so can I take your car?" he asks, keeping a firm fist around his keys.

Amy gives him her car keys and watches as he heads back down to the garage. "Good work, Rosa," she says once Jake is gone. Rosa nods.

"It was easy. He wasn't even suspicious. He thought that not having a full gas tank was because he didn't fill it, not because I drained it," Rosa says. Her clothes smell faintly of gasoline.

"Yeah, maybe you should change so he doesn't actually figure it out. Did Gina get Charles out?" Amy asks.

"Yup." Rosa doesn't give any further details, and Amy doesn't push her for any.

"Great." Amy pulls out her phone. "Judy, come on out. Meet us in the garage."

Two hours earlier

Amy speaks into the phone. "Hello, Doug Judy?"

A familiar voice spills out of the other end. "This ain't Doug Judy. He's on a business trip to Santa Maria. Making big loads of cash and selling pop-hit cds. What you want?"

"It's Amy," Amy says, slightly annoyed at Doug Judy's antics.

"Oh, Amy! I can't believe you didn't invite me to your wedding, mija! I could've totally beatboxed!" Doug Judy exclaims.

"Not the time, Judy. You're a pranks kind of dude, right?" Amy says.

"Of course! Don't insult me, Santiago-Peralta. You know, back in Milan, they call me Steve 'Prankster King' Michaels. Of course, that's because I never reveal my real name. You guys know me as Doug―"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I need your help to play a prank on Jake. How fast can you get here?" Amy says.

10:40 AM, October 31, Garage, Object of Heist in Possession of Jake's Car

"Oh, Rosa! You never told me that Rosa was going to be here! Sweet Rosa Rosa Rosa! Are you single yet?" Doug Judy sings, puckering his lips up at Rosa.

Gina darkly scowls at him. Doug Judy throws his hands up.

"Okay, okay, okay! I get it. Not single. Yet," Judy says, winking at Rosa. Rosa imitates Gina's scowl. "Anyways, what have we got here? You want me to break into his car? Cool. But what do I get in return, oh Amy?" Doug Judy asks.

Rosa causally pull a knife out of her boot, twirling it in her fingers.

"Never mind!" Doug Judy says quickly. "I will do it for free because we are pranking Peralta." He sets to work with his toolkit, working at unlocking Jake's car. "This is the easiest car that I've ever had to break into! How many seconds was that?" he asks after the car is open.

"Eight seconds," Gina calls.

Doug Judy frowns. "Not impressive," he mutters. "I gotta work on that."

Amy pushes him out of the way, clambering into the car. She confusedly pulls out two badges from his glove compartment, and holds them both up to Rosa. "One's definitely a decoy, but which one?" Amy mutters to herself, running her hand over both badges.

"That one," Rosa says, pointing to the more dull one. "Sarge polishes his badge three times a year, and the last time he did it was a couple of months ago. The other badge is way more recently polished."

"Oh, you're so smart, Rosa Diaz, will you marry me?" Doug Judy sings in a high pitched tone. Rosa glares at him, knife still in hand, and he raises an eyebrow and shrugs. "It was worth a shot, my love."

"Hey," Gina says menacingly. "Only I get to call her that."

"Whatever, Linetti. I'm hotter than you are," Doug Judy mutters. Gina gasps.

"Oh, you didn't―"

"Stop!" Amy says sternly. "We have the real badge now, so that's that. Let's go, Team Santiago," Amy says slipping the badge into her purse.

"All right! I'm on team Santiago!" Doug Judy says cheerfully.

"Damn it, Judy, you have to lay low. You can come back for the party at the bar, but right now, you gotta lay low so that Peralta doesn't suspect anything. Also, lock his car," Rosa says firmly.

Judy blows her a kiss. "For you, my lady, anything. No, seriously, anything you want at all. I mean it. Anything, Rosa. Anything for you."

Rosa rolls her eyes with disgust. "Whatever. Let's go, Team Santiago 2k Gay Teen," she says, leading Amy and Gina towards the elevator.

"Bye!" Doug Judy calls, and scurries the other way.

1:00 PM, October 31, Outside of the Precinct, Object of Heist in Possession of Team Santiago 2k Gay Teen

"Doug! Doug Judy!" Jake calls quietly. He is standing in an alleyway at the side of the precinct with Charles. Charles scowls distastefully.

"You invited that moron here? Jake, you know that I don't like him that much! He's a moron!" Charles scowls.

"Chill, Boyle, you haven't even met him before," Jake says.

Charles kicks at a stray pebble. "And that's how you really know that you hate someone. If you hate them even before you've met them. And I hate Doug Judy. That bastard," Charles rants.

"Peralta! Hey, man!" A new voice shouts. Jake and Charles both whip around to see Doug Judy walking towards them. "It's chilly today, ain't it? Can you guess what my costume is, Jake? I'm one of T-Swift's body guards!" Doug Judy exclaims.

Jake's jaw drops open. "Oh my gosh, you look just like the one who kicked me out of that concert! That's awesome, Doug!" Jake says, rushing closer to Doug Judy.

"Didn't know that we were on a first name basis here," Charles mutters, trailing along.

"Did you do what I asked?" Jake says, pulling Doug into a hug. Doug slaps him on the back and Jake jumps.

"Of course I did, man. She got into your car, opened the glove compartment, took one of the badges, and put it into her purse," Doug Judy says.

"Which one did she take?" Jake asks in anticipation. Doug shrugs.

"I think the one that was less shiny."

Jake pumps his fist into the air. "Yes! We did it! Did you hear that, Doug Judy? We did it! We're going to win this hest big time!" Jake jumps into the air, moving his arms and legs around. "Sorry, Amy kinda has that effect on me. Her victory dance is rubbing off on me," Jake says giddily.

"What did you do?" Charles asks eagerly. "I mean, you told me to just trust you, and I do, one hundred percent, but I'm just itching to know what you did," Charles says, sending a mean glare at Doug Judy.

"Well, I dusted up the decoy badge that Kev gave me, and I polished the real badge! And obviously, I know that Rosa knows the Sarge's polishing routine, so she would know that the badge hasn't been polished in a while. So Amy took the dull badge, which is actually the fake badge! I'm a freaking genius!" Jake tells them triumphantly. "Thanks again, Doug."

Doug Judy waves it away. "Oh, anything for my main man," he smiles. "So, tell me, dude, how did Amy even know to call me?"

Jake laughs. "Oh, I started talking about how much I missed you―"

Charles snorts loudly.

"And how we loved to play pranks on each other a few months ago. So you know, she got that all planted in her head during movie night, so then she called you, bro. I planned all of it. It was awesome. I am a genius," Jake declares.

" We love playing pranks on each other, too! Jake! I love playing pranks on you! It's so much fun!" Charles says desperately, a bead of sweat dripping down his forehead. Jake continues on talking to Doug Judy.

"We forgot our handshake, dude!" Doug Judy says. They complete a series of what looks like a game of patty-cake, fistbumps, high-fives, jazz hands, and top it off with a turkey. "Turrr-key!" Doug Judy says. "Well, Jake, m'boy, I'll see you later. Bye for now!" Doug Judy turns the other way and sprints off.

"Man, I hate that guy," Charles mumbles under his breath as Jake grins.

"What was that? Let's head back to the bullpen, Charles," Jake smiles, tugging Charles by the arm and towards the building.

"Why is Jake in love with him and not me?" Charles says to himself as Jake, blissfully unaware, punches in a button in the elevator.

3:59 PM, October 31, Captain Holt's Office, Object of Heist (Actually) in Possession of Team Cool Boyz Jake and Charles

"I have called my husband. He has indeed confirmed that the badge is still in place, and there have been no problems with it," Captain Holt tells Terry. They are both interrupted by a loud crunching noise, and turn around to see Hitchcock sitting on Holt's couch, snacking on a bag of chips.

"Hitchcock, can you go do that somewhere else?" Terry says in annoyance. Hitchcock continues to ignore the pair. Holt sighs and turns back to Terry.

"Anyways, I trust that my husband is taking care of the badge. We have got this win in the bag, Sergeant," Captain Holt says. Terry nods joyfully.

6:37 PM, October 31, Babylon, Object of Heist in Possession of Team Cool Boyz Jake and Charles

Gina quickly walks through the hallways, barely looking up from her cell phone. She looks up once she has reached the secret entrance to Babylon, and quickly enters the secret bathroom. Tema Santiago 2k Gay Teen has taken turns going down to the secret bathroom and checking to see if the badge is safe and secure, and it is currently Gina's turn.

She quickly opens what looks like a ventilation pipe in the side of the wall at one corner of Babylon. The badge is still there, and Gina allows herself to release the dramatic breath that she had been holding in. Gina hurriedly shuts the pipe and heads out of the bathroom to tell the rest of her team that the badge is safe and sound.

9:07 PM, October 31, The Garage, Object of Heist in Possession of Team Cool Boyz Jake and Charles

Jake quickly gets into his car. "Thanks for bringing gas, Charles," he says.

"No problem, Jake! Anything for you!" Charles chirps as Jake starts his car.

"Quick, check to see if the badge is still there," Jake says, and Charles opens the glove compartment. He pulls out the badge and examines it in the dim light.

"Hmmm, it looks a little bit less shinier than before," Charles says suspiciously. "I didn't waste all that time polishing Sarge's badge for my efforts to go to waste, did I?"

"Aah, Amy must've gotten something on it when she took both of the badges out," Jake asserts. "Let's just get to your place and―" Jake's phone buzzes, and he parks at the shoulder of the road to open up the text he has just received. Charles leans over to see.

"What does it say?"

Jake begins to read it out loud. "It's from Captain Holt. It says, 'Attention, squad, we will meet at Shaw's at midnight to declare the winner of this heist. Be there on time. Sincerely, Raymond Holt.' That's weird. It sounds like he thinks he's going to win," Jake remarks. "But he's wrong. Because Team Cool Boys Jake and Charles is gonna win."

Charles squints his eyes. "We better be cautious, though, just in case. Holt might be planning something, you know. That guy is pretty sneaky."

"We'll be fine," Jake says uncertaintly.

9:10 PM, October 31, Outside of the Precinct, Object of Heist in Possession of Team Cool Boyz Jake and Charles.

"I have just sent the rest of the squad a text instructing them to meet at Shaws at midnight," Captain Holt says. "And Peralta, as usual, has replied with a string of emojis that are difficult to even look at."

"Maybe you shouldn't have finally gotten emojis on your phone," Terry shrugs. They stand outside of the precinct in the dark, watching costumed people walk up and down the streets. A teenaged boy sits on the curb and takes a swig from a bottle of vodka. Captain Holt sighs.

"Well, Jeffords, duty calls. Young man, you are underaged and therefore should not be consuming alcohol of any type!"

9:30 PM, October 31, The Rooftop, Object of Heist in Possession of Team Cool Boyz Jake and Charles

Rosa, Amy, and Gina stand together on the rooftop, gazing out to the busy street below them. Gina glances up from her phone. "Well, that's weird. Have any of you looked at your texts recently?" she asks.

Rosa and Amy both shake their head no. Rosa leans closer to Gina to catch a glimpse of what's so 'weird' on her phone. Gina lifts up the phone to show both of the detectives the screen.

"I got this text a while ago; didn't bother to actually open it up until now, but Holt wants everyone to come to Shaw's at midnight. As if he's going to win the heist," Gina says.

"As if," Rosa snorts.

"Team Santiago 2k Gay Teen is obviously going to win," Amy quips. "We'll just bring the badge to Shaw's at midnight and show everyone that we won," she shrugs. Rosa squints at Gina's phone screen and scrolls down a little bit.

"Jake replied; 'yeah right like you're gonna win it's obvious that team cool boyz jake and charles are gonna win not u' like he thinks that they're going to win," Rosa says.

"Their team name is l-ame ," Gina mutters.

"So lame," Amy agrees.

"We did leave the fake badge in Jake's car. Maybe they think that they have the real one or something," Rosa suggests.

"Maybe. We should go check on the badge, though," Amy says. "Rosa, it's your turn."

11:30 PM, October 31, Outside of Captain Holt's House, Object of Heist in Possession of Team Cool Boyz Jake and Charles

"That was really great of Kev― I mean, your husband to help us out with the heist," Terry says. Captain Holt pockets the badge with a satisfied look on his face.

"I have been waiting to win this heist for three years," he says, and the pair head to Terry's car. "We still do have about half an hour before midnight, though. Sergeant Jeffords, please drive slowly, as Shaw's is merely twenty minutes away from my home and we must announce ourselves at exactly midnight," Captain Holt instructs.

Terry looks a little befuddled but shrugs. "I'll do my best," he sighs. "Slow driving is not fun for Terry."

11:43 PM, October 31, Shaw's Bar, Object of Heist in Possession of Team Cool Boyz Jake and Charles

Amy, Rosa, and Gina enter the bar nearly fifteen minutes before midnight. They sit down at an empty table and make no attempts to order anything on account of Amy's rules. Rosa sighs. "Why are we here early, again?" she groans.

"Because we have to be here to announce our victory," Amy says for the fifth time. "If we're here before time, then no one will expect it."

"Um, everyone's going to expect you being here early," Gina says. "You're Amy freaking Santiago-Peralta. Always exactly right on time or early." Gina lifts her hand to flag down a waiter, and Amy slaps it down.

"We're staying sober until we've announced our win, remember?"

Gina rolls her eyes. "Calm down. I'm ordering a water. If I'm not hydrated by the end of each day, then I break out," Gina shudders. She picks her phone up from the table for the ninth time in a single minute, scrolling through something anxiously and then dropping the phone back down. Two seconds later, she picks it back up, and scrolls through again.

The eleventh time, Amy snatches Gina's phone away. "That is messing with my head. Stop doing it," she says, putting Gina's phone in the middle of the table.

"Hey!" Gina complains, but doesn't move to grab the phone again. Rosa leans over and rests her head on Gina's shoulder, stifling a yawn.

"I've been up since like forever. When will this all be over so that I can get some sleep?" Rosa murmurs, eyes half-closed. "I've literally been through like five different outfits today, and I wanna go home."

"After we win, and everyone says that we're the best human slash geniuses in the world," Amy promises. "Then we can all go home and pass out."

"Good," Gina says, reaching for her phone again. "And Rosa, you're not going home without me."

11:58 PM, October 31, Shaw's Bar, Object of Heist in Possession of Team Cool Boyz Jake and Charles

Captain Holt and Terry come into Shaw's. "Be subtle. Santiago's team is already here. We don't want them to see us, because we want to make a big announcement about the fact that we have won the heist," Captain Holt says.

"There aren't that many people here," Terry frowns.

"Great! I am able to announce my victory loudly then," Captain Holt says. "There are two minutes until midnight. No doubt Boyle and Peralta will arrive at exactly midnight to announce their false victory," Captain Holt snickers. He looks over to where Amy's team is sitting. "Look at them! They have already accepted their defeat!" Captain Holt says, referring to the fact that all three women are not fully awake.

"Yeah, they do look pretty bummed," Terry says. "We've got this."

12:00 AM, November 1, Shaw's Bar, Object of Heist in Possession of Team Cool Boyz Jake and Charles

Many things happen at once. A loud alarm goes off at Amy's table, waking the three women. Rosa immediately tosses the badge to Amy, who clambers up on the table and holds it up triumphantly."We won! We won!" she says lously, spotting Captain Holt.

Captain Holt has pulled out their badge, holding it up and staring at Amy in confusion. "No, that can't be correct. Terry and I have won!" he protests.

Taylor Swift's voice bursts out loudly near the entrance of the bar. The door is thrown open and Jake parades in wearing an oversized suit with aviator glasses. Charles trails behind him, carrying a set of speakers. Jake jumps up into the air.

"I know all of you have been waiting for us, and I know that you all know that you have lost…" Jake says loudly.  He quickly thrusts the real badge up into the air. "Guess what, losers! I am the most amazing human slash genius that there is! Take that, wife! Take that, Captain! Boyle and I win!" he laughs.

Charles looks up at Amy and Captain Holt, both confused and holding up their own badges. "Haha!" he laughs. "We got you guys so good. Team Cool Boyz Jake and Charles forever!"

Terry grabs at the badge that Captain Holt is holding in terror. He turns it over in his large hands, and then sighs in defeat. "This ain't mine, Captain. They're right. This isn't my badge. I know my badge like I know the palm of my own hand," Terry says.

Captain Holt gapes. "How can that be? We kept the badge safe! We followed a plan!"

Terry walks over to Amy, and snatches the badge out of her hands. He runs his fingers over it and shakes his head. "This isn't mine either," he says. Rosa looks angry, and she scowls. Amy gets off of the table.

"Jake, you―" she starts angrily.

"Won! I won, thank you so much, my dear wife. I love you too," Jake says. "Now say it with me, everyone, Jake Peralta and Charles Boyle are the best―"

Terry has walked over and yanked the badge out of Jake's hands to confirm if the win is really Jake and Charles's. He puts it in his palm skeptically, and frowns. "This is not my badge, either! What the hell did you all do with my badge?!" he says angrily, much to everyone's astonishment.

Jake's jaw drops open. "What do you mean? That's your badge. Charles and I won the heist, and that's your badge. You're probably not thinking right. That's definitely your badge, Sarge," he babbles. "Are you drunk?"

"I know what I said, Jake!" Terry thunders. "That's not my badge!"

"How can that be? Where's the real badge, then?" Amy questions.

"You all better find my badge, or else I will make sure that all of you will never ever enjoy another day at work in your entire lives," Terry threatens. "Man, this might be worse than my favorite mango yogurt getting cancelled!"

Suddenly, winning the Halloween heist doesn't seem very important to anyone.

"Sarge, we'll find your badge," Amy promises. "We just have to retrace all of our steps. I'm sure it'll turn up. I mean, how far could it have gone?" she reasons.

"Damn it, you better be right, Santiago," Terry says menacingly. Amy seems to cower a little bit, until they are all interrupted by the sound of an acoustic guitar filling up the bar.

Jake frowns. "Those are some groovy tunes, but where are they coming from?" he wonders.

12:06 AM, November 1, Shaw's Bar, Object of Heist Lost

Mlep(clay)nos enters the bar, guitar slung over one shoulder. He nods his head towards the squad. "Good evening," he says rather stiffly, strumming out a tune.

"Mlepnos?" Jake asks. Mlep(clay)nos keeps a poker face on as he turns to face Jake.

"No. I do not know of whom you speak of," Mlep(clay)nos says quietly. "That is not my name."

Amy stumbles to Jake's side. "Oh, I know you! You're Mlepnos! You played music at Jake and my wedding!" she exclaims.

"No. That was not me," Mlep(clay)nos says again. "My name is not Muh-lep-nose," he sounds out. Mlep(clay)nos  changes up the chords on his guitar and concentrates on the tune that he is currently playing. The entire squad watched Mlep(clay)nos play until the music is interrupted rudely by the sound of someone beatboxing along to the guitar music.

Jake's eyes widen. "Doug Judy! What are you doing here?" he asks. "You told me that you had to back to Greenland! Oh my god, did you lie to me? How could you?" Jake says overdramatically.

"I'm here for your celebration, of course! I helped you win, my dude!" Doug Judy says, clapping Jake on the back. Jake slightly winces, before sighing.

"He didn't win," Terry says, before Jake can say anything.

Doug Judy's brow furrows. "Then who did?"

Terry's shoulders slump. "No one did. The badge is missing," he says. Doug Judy's eyes seem to brighten a little bit. He chuckles loudly, much to everyone's surprise.

12:10 AM, November 1, Shaw's Bar, Object of Heist Very Close to Being Found

"SIKE!" Doug Judy rumbles. Amy squints her eyes skeptically at him, and Captain Holt frowns immensely. Jake looks at him in more confusion.

"What do you mean?" Gina says, glaring at Doug Judy. "Also, stop using modern slang. It only looks good when I do it."

"I mean, sike, as in I win," Doug Judy says, grinning from ear to ear.

"No you don't," Charles says, standing up with newfound courage. "You would need to have the real badge to win. Also, you're a loser and no one likes you," he adds stiffly at the end.

"And I have the real badge, little dude," Doug Judy laughs, ruffling Charles's hair. Charles yanks himself away in contempt. Doug Judy pulls out a police badge from inside of his coat, lifting it up for all to see. "See? I win," Doug Judy says triumphantly, drinking in all of the expressions of disbelief on everyone's face. Terry pushes his way to Doug Judy and snatches the badge out of his hand.

"Well, Sarge?" Jake asks.

Terry frowns. "It's mine," he mutters. "This badge is mine. But how did you come to acquire it!"

Doug Judy shrugs. "It was so easy, like, Amy thinks I'm working for her, and Jake thinks that I'm working for him, but like, I'm working for myself ! L-M-A-O, losers! I am Doug Judy, and I'm gonna rule the world with my hot future girlfriend Rosa!" Doug Judy exclaims joyfully. Rosa scowls darkly.

Jake slaps himself across the cheek. "I am so stupid," he groans. Nearby, Amy lift her palm to her forehead.

"I am an idiot!" she mutters. Doug Judy looks from Jake to Amy.

"Nice. Now I can see why you two are married You're both so alike!" Doug Judy says, causing everyone to stare at him in disbelief. "Hey, say, Diaz! You wanna get married? We could be grossly cute like these two dorks!" Doug Judy says, nearly dropping onto one knee.

"Go to hell, Judy," Rosa mutters. "I don't do cute."

"Except with me," Gina purrs, tucking an arm around Rosa's waist. Rosa seems to melt into Gina's grip before coughing and standing up straight.

"Well, I know that you guys have a traditional saying whenever someone wins your heists! Now, let me hear you all say it: Doug Judy is the best―" Doug Judy starts, looking pointedly at the Nine-Nine.

The entire squad scowls, but complies, muttering under their breaths. "Doug Judy is the best human slash genius," they whisper. It is barely possible to hear them.

Doug Judy puts one hand up to his ear. "I can't hear you! You especially, Diaz! Speak up, and let's try again," he says, smiling wickedly.

"Doug Judy is the best human slash genius," the squad says, a little bit louder this time.

"Still not hearing you, Diaz!"

"Doug Judy is the best human slash genius!" Rosa yells at him, immensely annoyed.

Judy throws back his head and laughs. "Love you too, Diaz! Anyways, let's party! Drinks are not on me!"

12:42 AM, November 1, Shaw's Bar, Winner of Heist Declared as Doug Judy, (SURPRISE! i'm sorry i have the worst plot twists. you could see that coming from a mile away), Badge is Now Safely In Terry's Possession

Half an hour later, everyone from the Nine-Nine is very drunk. Doug Judy and Jake stand in one corner, singing karaoke and dancing. Rosa and Gina are aggressively making out in one corner, and Amy is stumbling towards Jake. It looks as if Amy is on her fifth-drink, because she seems confident as hell and is about to rock the karaoke stage. Captain Holt watches them, cheering as Amy lifts a mic and opens her mouth to sing.

Terry claps ecstatically along to Mlep(clay)nos's continuing guitar music. "Happy Halloween!" he says loudly, downing a shot.

"Actually, it's November 1st now," the bartender interrupts. "Halloween is over."

Drunk! Terry stares at him. "Shut up, Shaw!"

"That's actually not my n―"

"Happy Halloween!" the Nine-Nine shouts.

[trig-loves-clowning-around]

Ashes to Ashes

Another bloody slasher for fun

Dad had his eyes on the property for some time now, he had been buying up the whole neighborhood after the slaughter and burning of the Marshall Family. 

Tragedies came with discounts after all and everyone seemed eager to get out. 

Reports stated that many were paranoid, police were busy trying to catch suspect Arthur Jones for the needless slaughter as it was reported he was a racist against Stacey Marshall marrying her African American Husband, Edwin. 

At least that was what the news was covering, but it didn't concern my father. 

You see he was the richest man in Cadans, he wanted to buy all the property and build a gated community for a profit, it had been a few months since the tragedy and it seemed all were eager to leave. 

For sale signs littered the neighborhood, many sold as my dad swooped in to nab the property, no one knew why everyone was so eager exactly.

"Once tragedy strikes paranoia sinks in" I recalled my father saying as he showed us the amount of cheap properties he had swooped into grab, even the murder site was in his grasp. 

Every property had been sold off, except one and it was driving him mad.

The old house that was only big enough to have 2 bedrooms and a kitchen and looked like "a pile of burnt shit" to quote Jeffrey Abbot trying to get the property from the city, however.

The owner was still around and they kept it as some sort of memorial. 

"What do you mean memorial?!" Jeffrey Abbot yelled out in frustration over the phone  "Its been fucking years when it happened! It's an eye sore to our good town!" 

"There is no HOA and the yard is being kept up and the house, we can't really do anything sir" the secretary squeaked out quietly.

"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM I OWN THIS TOWN!" he yelled 

"Dad please she's not in charge of the local law" Jeffrey abbots oldest daughter  Jennifer, said quietly behind jim, the young adult that was helping him manage all his property. 

"Sir I'm sorry I-" the secretary went to apologize and the rich man hung up the phone shaking his head 

"A memorial, what a waste of property…" he hissed to himself before perking up 

"Go get Jr." He demanded looking at his daughter.

"Now" 

Jeffrey Abbot Junior was sent at once to the Neighborhood with a group of his friends, Charles and William. 

They drove to the several new properties in Juniors car, top down wind blowing through their hair 

"So what're we doing?" Charles asked as they were told not to talk about it until they were driving in the dark of night. 

"Dad wants us to wreck up the last house, ruin the 'memorial'" he used one hand to make finger quotes "then the owner will want to sell, no one lived in that house for like 10 years dad said" the teen explained 

"I got spray paint and some other fun things to use in the trunk" he announced as they drove into the ghost town that was the neighborhood 

"Memorial for what?" William questioned a look of upset on his face. 

"It's never been a memorial, just a squatters haven" Junior retorted "they shouldn't be in this town anyways so it doesn't matter"

He said parking on a road behind the charred house. 

"Cmon, dads paying us like a grand to deface this poor excuse of a house" he said jumping out. 

Charles was very excited jumping out along with him, william hesitated, his brown eyes filled with worry as he ran his hand through his brunette hair. 

"I don't know guys" he said "what if it actually is a memorial…" 

"Then all the more reason to take it down, no one important is using it let's have some fun" Charles retorted as Junior popped open the trunk grabbing a can of red spray paint 

"Cmon dont be a pussy, dude" he teased as Charles grabbed a wooden bat "got your favorite color paint, let's tag some shit" 

William paused before nodding and jumping out to grab some paint, they were known vandals but their daddies always bought them out of trouble when they were caught so there was no real consequence, william reasoned as they started to walk to the house having to cut through another backyard Junior's father owned to get to the house. 

It was an eyesore during the day but it was downright terrifying at night. Something was off, a feeling settled in the pit of their stomachs.

"Oh fuck dude this is creeepy" charles commented 

"You got the bat you go first" william said standing behind Junior

"No fucking way dude!" 

"Then give me the bat, bitch" Junior said throwing his spray can to his friend not caring for his volume 

"No fucking way I like having protection asshat" charles replied letting the spray paint can fall to the yard. 

A shadow crossed the back window to the house as if there was someone inside yet none of the bickering boys noticed 

After a bit of wrestling Junior got the bat "let's start inside before we do some real damage," he said as he marched to the house shoulders squared as he made it to the back door to force it open, the old wood squealed in protest while one hand held the bat ready in case a homeless man was sleeping there, nothing. 

"Cmon pussies no ones here!" He called before marching in 

The others ran after their friend ready to do some damage. 

It looked as if it had several squatters inside, opened and unopened cans were scattered on the floor, there was ash in the fireplace in what seemed to be a kitchen with how the floor had tile. 

"Someone get a light" junior recommended as their eyes adjusted to the darkness, after some fumbling William pulled out his phone to turn on the flashlight. 

"Alright clear the other rooms and we'll have our fun" Junior commanded and walked to the two bedrooms they split up to get the vandalism done fast to lessen the risk of getting caught. 

Junior and Charles went to open the first door, there was a sleeping bag but no one inside, there was a queen bed frame and dresser completely damaged by flame. 

From the second room william entered alone spray paint and flashlight at the ready "is that a cro-" there was a Yelp then silence. 

Charles and Junior looked at each other before going g to the other room, figuring he was playing a prank since they were all so freaked out earlier. 

While the first bedroom had a large window that let in a lot of light the second had a small window that was shattered in pieces the old glass had been cleaned up. 

In the middle of the room was two small wooden crosses. 

"What the fuck?" Junior asked allowed taking a step forward into the light of the moon shining through the broken window. Wherever william was he had turned off his flashlight since it was dark. 

They could only make out crude shapes from the shadows as Junior took another brave step through the hallway. 

Splash

"What the fuck?" Junior asked looking down, he could see a slight puddle forming around his feet "william this ain't fuckin funny show yourself or I'm beating your ass" he called as Charles pulled out his phone to turn on the flashing 

The smell of iron hit their noses and as the light properly illuminated the room Junior let out a scream. 

Blood was streaming from a wound on William's throat, a large gloved hand clamped around his mouth before he was shoved unceremoniously to the ground uncovering the masked person holding a bloodied axe. 

Charles let out a scream when his brain finally processed the horror in front of him and bolted as the murderer advanced Junior raised his bat but got a smash to his stomach with the blunt side of the axe sending him crashing to the floor in need of air while the crazed murdered in the has mask advanced on Charles, who was out the back door to the fence 

Too bad the neighborhood was a ghost town. 

The killer launched the axe with practiced ease as Charles tried to scramble up the chain link fence. 

The axe lodged into his back and he fell with scream onto the grass, landing on his side as the killer jogged over to the wounded teen. 

They crouched down, most of them were covered, charles stared at his reflection in the killers goggles as he took his head in their hands almost in a gentle embrace while he sobbed in pain. Trying to cry for help from anyone. 

Their hands suddenly moved roughly and with a sickening crunch as Charles's neck snapped. 

The killer straightened up to get the axe out of the back of the boys body when they heard the sound of footsteps running to get to the front yard, Junior was trying to run, bat gripped in his hands until his knuckles turned white, he was running across the street, the Marshall's burned down house. 

He was taking deep breaths as he ran tears streaming down his face, his body had blood on his back his friends blood, his gut ached as he ran. 

He ran into the area of tragedy, hiding in the  ashes of someone else's death. 

"Mommy…" he whispered tearing up as he was trying to stay hidden as he figured it was his best chance. 

'Someone should've heard the screams right?'

His blood ran cold when he heard footsteps and crouched down to stay low as the echoes of boots echoed against the foundation of the tragedy his father was planning on tearing up the next day. 

His dad oh God it was all his fault

Junior was staying low to the ground shuffling along what was left of the wall in order to stay as quiet and small as possible. 

There was a sound of the spray from the aerosol can, the one they left on the lawn. 

He covered his mouth to muffle his breathing, he could hit them with a bat and make a run for it. He reasoned before getting up to wait as the sound of spraying got louder, every once in a while they'd let out a stream of paint as if a game of Marco Polo, letting Junior know they were getting closer… closer. 

Junior shot up getting ready to swing when the murderer rounded the corner but his eyes were painted red from the can releasing its paint. 

He screamed dropping to the ground at the pain of the foreign object touching his sensitive blue eyes. 

He rubbed them furiously with his hands while the killer dropped the can to pick up the bat slowly 

Smack

Smack 

Smack 

The sound of wood smashing against the head of the boy in a constant cycle of pain the pain was blinding as Junior tried desperately to escape getting weaker with each smack 

Crack 

The force of the blow broke the wooden bat in half and Jeffry Abbot Junior was left unconscious laying under the killer who flipped him on his back using the splintered end of the bat to force in his stomach over and over the sharp splinters lodging into the soft flesh of his stomach leaving him to bleed out. 

After some fumbling the killer pulled out the car keys from Junior's pocket before dragging him off to find the car they had come in. 

My brother had been missing for weeks before they were found, two towns over. 

Father had a wide scale investigation starting at the house he sent my brother and friends to vandalize, the only thing they found was the very awkward quiet gardener, he was mute and one came by once a week so he didn't know anything had happened in the first place. 

There wasn't even a drop of blood in the house. 

I hoped he just ran away to mom's to tell her he was up to his old tricks again but no. His car was found two towns over, it hadn't been broken into but the upholstery was taken, torn out the keys were missing, we broke into the trunk and the three were there, in a decaying bloody mess, dismembered to fit in the trunk.

Arthur Jones had struck again police theorized and the search was more intense. 

But the message was loud and clear in my mind. 

Someone was protecting that… that house and father was to blame for the death of my little brother… 

[janiedean]

nebraska is the title song from bruce springsteen’s eponymous 1982 album, which is incidentally the objectively best record he’s ever put out or at least it’s in the top three and about everyone agrees about it in some kind of miraculous conversion of fan and critics’s opinions.

nebraska is not just a turning point in springsteen’s career, as it was the first time he put out a record which was pretty much bleak/depressing material with not much of a way out of it and a great stylistic change from his usual as it’s all voice, guitar and harmonica, to match the bleak atmosphere of the songs, but it’s also a damn gem of a song that everyone should listen to, so please let me have a go at it. ;)

now, background: nebraska is about real life serial killer charles starkweather, who in turn bruce learned from while watching terrence malick’s excellent movie badlands (guys y’all really should watch it it’s REALLY GOOD!). tldr, this dude at nineteen took his 14-yo girlfriend around nebraska and wyoming for a week or so and killed ten people and was then sentenced to the death penalty, and that’s all you need to know on the subject. bruce was interested in the story, researched it and wrote the song about it and put it as first in the album to which it gave the title, and that should already suggest you what you’re signing up for. but now on to the lyrics, shall we?

I saw her standin' on her front lawn just twirlin' her baton Me and her went for a ride sir and ten innocent people died

the opening is reminiscing of the malick movie we discussed before - the scene with the girlfriend twirling her baton is lifted right from it, and gives us an excellent summary of the entire song because bruce is good at summarizing things: you know that the protagonist, as the song is in first person, sees his girlfriend on the front lawn, takes her into his car and they killed ten innocent people. now, if you aren’t listening to the song you don’t know that he’s singing it in an extremely flat voice in such a way that he seems extremely detached from what he/the POV of the song has done, which makes the entire effect even creepier. so, what happened on the ride?

From the town of Lincoln, Nebraska with a sawed off .410 on my lap Through to the badlands of Wyoming I killed everything in my path

here we have another example of how good is bruce at painting a very vivid picture with ten words - we know where they left from (lincoln nebraska), we know what weapon he used (the .410), and then he went through the badlands of wyoming killing everything in his path, which if you know how the badlands of wyoming look, should give you a pretty damn good idea of the scenery. if you’re like jon and sansa stark and failed geography, I’ll remind you:

suggestive, huh? so, he has you visualize the entire thing while singing flatly and without emotions about a guy who went on a murder spree without many emotions about it himself. which is made clear in the next line:

I can't say that I'm sorry for the things that we done At least for a little while sir me and her we had us some fun

so: he’s not sorry, and he sees it as having had some fun. now, usually people who murder even one person without wanting to have life-lasting trauma because of it, because I assure you, no one likes murdering people in general. just a thought. then again if you look up starkweather he seemed to think he was above the law and to have a fairly nihilistic worldview according to which *dead people are all on the same level* so we can assume that mr. starkweather had definitely issues that no one had noticed/most people would have overlooked in the year of the lord 1958 and that went untreated resulting in the murder spree.

anyway, they got caught as it was bound to happen, which then results in the next passage:

The jury brought in a guilty verdict and the judge he sentenced me to death Midnight in a prison storeroom with leather straps across my chest

now, bruce doesn’t really waste much time with the trial because even if we didn’t know shit about the story before we might have guessed that he’d be captured/sentenced the moment he said he killed a bunch of people, so what we know is that they sentenced him guilty and to death too, and when he says leather straps across my chest we also know it’s an electric chair even if he doesn’t have to say it, and then you also get the midnight in a prison storeroom visual that gives you an idea of something fairly sordid and carried out in a haste when no one can see for how horrid the entire situation is. the entire point isn’t even making you empathize with him because you’re not supposed to... but the entire picture it paints is supposed to make you feel really, really creeped out including being in the head of an actual mass murderer, which is usually not a place where you find people feeling sorry or re-elaborating their trauma tied to their actions, because this guy certainly has no trauma related to them nor feels sorry about it. which we can see for true in the next bit:

Sheriff when the man pulls that switch sir and snaps my poor head back You make sure my pretty baby is sittin' right there on my lap

as in: when he talks to the sheriff in extremely blank/flat terms about his own death (pulls the switch/snaps my poor head back, poor being the only thing that suggests us he actually has feelings about it) the only thing he wants (which cannot happen obviously) is that his pretty baby is sitting on his lap, which considering that starkweather was 19 and she was 14 when the entire thing went down makes the entire thing sound really fucking creepy as it should sound. but that is what he cares about. not the people he killed, not his guilt, not any consequences of what he might have done, just that his girlfriend is there to see him die - which isn’t a thing he gives much of a fuck about anyway. and at this point you're wondering, what’s the point. well, the final stanza is giving you the point, even if he could also not giving you any point and it would still hold up because that’s entirely it, the guy killed people because he could and because he was angry, not because there was a point.

They declared me unfit to live said into that great void my soul'd be hurled They wanted to know why I did what I did Well sir I guess there's just a meanness in this world.

aaaand now you get the whole actual Meaning Of The Thing thrown in your face in three lines which need a lot of unpacking, but in order: they declared me unfit to live has a not so slight implication that it’s wrong for someone to decide who’s fit to live or not... which then in turn is kind of ironic coming from someone who killed ten people because he could, but that doesn’t make it any less true that he’s operating in a system that declares people unfit to live... same as he did, so he’s most likely asking why they have the right to decide it and he doesn’t. then we add that they wanted to know why he did what he did, which is the crux - until now he just said he had fun and he felt like it. now, bruce springsteen has no idea of why starkweather did it because of course he never knew him and only researched the topic, and the movie obviously had its take on things but it’s a movie. so what he does? he provides an answer which is also a reference to flannery o’ connor’s story a good man is hard to find’s ending where a similar thing was said (guys honestly read that it’s an a+ short story you should)... as in: well, I guess there’s just a meanness in this world. he GUESSES, he doesn’t know. *well, sir* suggests an answer like he’s just shrugging and providing it because it just occurred to him, not that he thought about it. but then what’s the point? that the world is mean. and it sucks. and meanness exists and you can’t do anything about it, and he was mean same as the world he comes from and so he did something mean that will result in his soul being hurled into the void (but other people said it, not him, he most likely doesn’t even think his soul will survive the execution), but that’s it. there’s nothing else. there’s no reasoning, there’s no guilt, there’s nothing. just, there’s a meanness in this world. dot. and since the world is mean people do mean things such as kill innocent people, to whom mean things happen all the time, and you can’t do shit about it. and then the song is over and you’re left with a chill running down your spine and wondering, is it really just as bad as that?

but since the singer isn’t giving you any answer either way and he’s not sympathizing with the murderer nor is trying to make you sympathize with him, he’s just telling him like it is, you as in the listener have to put effort into it and do the math and decide for yourself if you want to agree with the fact that the world is inherently mean and it sucks and it inevitably will do it over and over again, or if you want things to be different. you can’t know either way. he’s not telling you to judge his murderer not to sympathize with him. he’s asking you to think about it.

hm. imagine that.

now, if only people actually followed that advice and thought about things including how narratives focusing on seventeen-year olds having to kill someone in order to save people after developing ptsd for two years are not meant for the reader to blame the seventeen-year old with ptsd but the system that fucked him over that much, that would be even better now, wouldn’t it? ;)

[trynnabemultifandom]

Jake Peralta x reader

I'm obsessed with b99 and Jake is my fave character. it's my first time writing a b99 fan fic so idk if it's gonna be good

I joined the 99 exactly 4 months ago. when I first came here, I was scared that I wasn't going to fit in with the other detectives but that wasn't the case. my first day on the job Captain Holt had made sure that I had a warm welcome from everyone.

Flashback to the first day

"Everyone in the briefing room now" Holt announces "he always sounds so stern" Gina mumbles. when everyone was in the briefing room, Holt assigned people with their cases for the day and then introduced you to everyone

"I would like to introduce you all to the new member of the team. detective (L/N)" I walk into the briefing room nervously after the captain had announced who I was. I decided to bite the bullet and introduce myself "hello my name is Detective (F/N) (L/N) and I'm glad to be a part of the team" I scan my eyes around the room to check out the other detectives and my eyes land on a fairly good looking detective sitting at the back of the room

"Peralta, because your old partner quit, Detective (L/N) will be your new partner" I follow the captains eyes to see who he's talking to only to see he's talking to the good looking dude at the back. my eyes are still focused on Peralta wondering what his next move is gonna be. he remained seated for a few moments after the captain paired us up. I see him smirk while looking at me, he finally gets up and walks over to me and the captain

"so what's our case today captain?" he's silent for a moment looking at a file "local drug bust, will probably have to be a stakeout" Peralta and I both nod and thank the captain. before I can say anything else, Peralta had already snatched the case file from the captains hand and dragged me with him to the parking lot. Once we were in the car Jake decides to talk again "first day on the job and you're spending it with the best Detective in the precinct" he has a cocky grin "oh really? where is this 'best detective'?" he looked slightly offended "I'm kidding, I know you're the best Detective in the precinct" he smirks "good, just don't let Santiago here you say that"

a couple of hours into our stakeout, I notice a van pull up ahead of Jake's car "jake look" I pull on his arm to get his attention "finally some shits going down" me and Jake grab our guns and vests from the back and slowly get out of the car and walk up to the van "it's empty" jake says. I walk over to the side jake was as and look up at the building "guess we have some door duty to do then" as I'm walking away I hear jake mumble something under his breath "what was that Peralta?" "oh nothing, was just talking to myself" I smirk and lightly chuckle

We finally get to the floor that our perp is on, now it's just a matter of how we're going to do this. Jake knocks on the door "NYPD open up" nobody answers the door but I hear something being knocked over. I push jake back and kick down the door. I see two men struggling to put the drugs in the bag "NYPD FREEZE" I shout. one guy surrenders with his hands up and Jake goes over to cuff him, while the other guy is a bit more difficult. I put down my gun to show him I'm not going to shoot and reach for my hand cuffs. before I can get them on the guy, he punches me in the face

I see Jake looking at the scene and when the dude punched me, that made jake mad. he went over the the guy and handcuffed him "you are under arrest for attempted drug smuggling, resisting arrest and assaulting a fellow police officer" I can't help but admire jake while he's doing all of this. as he's reading the rights I go over the already handcuffed perp and bring him out to the car. when they were both in the car, Jake turned to me "hey are you ok?" I nod "yeah, it's just a hit" jake chuckled "(Y/N), you got a punch to the face. at least let me check it over once we get back to the precinct" I sigh "if it makes you happy then ok" he smiles "good"

Back at the precinct, after people had congratulated me on my first arrest, jake had brought me to the break room to clean up the cut on my lip "thank you Doctor Peralta" he chuckles "this might sting" he gently takes a hold of my chin and tilts my head so he can clean my lip. the cold tissue comes in contact with my lip and I flinch a little "sorry" I chuckle a little "it's ok, it was just cold" while I have this opportunity, I take in jake's facial features, I feel jake doing the same. I involuntarily find myself leaning in. just as we were about to kiss, there was a knock on the door

Jake and I back away from each other and I clear my throat "jake, the captain wants to see you" jake gives me a smile before heading out of the room. I gather my things and sit at my desk

Jake's POV

Just as Y/N and I were about to kiss, there was a knock on the break room door. I inwardly sigh at whoever ruined our moment. "Jake the captain wants to see you" it was Gina. I give Y/N a smile before I leave the room. I walk into the captains office "Sir, you wanted to see me?"

He didn't look too happy. then again, he never really does "yes, take a seat Peralta" I sit down and then he starts talking "I see your stakeout with Detective (L/N) went well" I nod "yeah it did" he nods "obviously except for the fact that (L/N) got punched in the face" I sigh "so that's what this is about" "yes it is Peralta. you were meant to be training her and keeping her safe" I nod "I know sir, but I was with her the entire time. I was arresting one of the perps, as soon as I saw what he had done I took action straight away" "that's not the point. she still got injured under your watch and that will have to go on file"

I sigh "look, sir I know what happened shouldn't have happened but she's a good cop and I didn't want her sitting on the side lines. she's a badass and plus she's ok, she let me take a look at her lip and it's fine" the captain looked like he was thinking "here's what I'll do. I won't write you up, I'll let her remain your partner, but for the next week, you both will be off the field and will be working from your desk" I nod "ok, fine" "dismissed"

Your POV

I really wanted to know what was going on in the captains office. jake looked frustrated and the captain looked, well like he always does. I see Jake coming out of the office and I pretend like I'm doing my work. he sits at his desk which is in front of mine. "hey how'd it go with the cap?" he sighed, uh oh "he was giving out to me that I let you get hurt, I told him how good and badass you were though and he told me that he won't write me up, but we aren't allowed out on the field for a week, so we're gonna be working from our desks instead"

"oh fun" I say sarcastically. I don't know why the captains punishing Jake for this, it isn't his fault "look (Y/N), I'm sorry. this is my fault. If I had of been doing my job right this never would have happened" I look over to Jake "hey, it isn't your fault. I'm the one who ran head first into this whole thing, I'll take the blame and I'll work from the desk for a week. you shouldn't have to suffer from my mistake" Jake gets up from his seat and sits at the one beside mine "look, we're partners. we'll do this together. plus, you looked badass kicking down the door"

i was going to say something when I was interrupted by Boyle "I hear wedding bells" I look at Charles then back and Jake and laugh "too early Charles" jake says. i wonder does anyone know about mine and Jake's little moment in the break room. anyway, enough about that. time to get back to work "anyway, look (Y/N), what I'm saying is, we're partners, we'll always stick together and have each others backs ok? I don't mind working from my desk because I get to do it with you" I look up "cheesy cliché, I like it" I giggle

"it's what I'm known for" jake sits back down at his desk and goes back to doing his work. I turn to my computer and start typing up my report on how the drug bust went. working with jake isn't going to be as bad as I thought

OK, let me know if it's good/bad, if there's mistakes in it or even if yous want a part 2. personally I like it

[video-killed-the-radio-host]

My Love, Come and Save Me ch4

Hellooooooo long time no chapter

@lady-dmaris

-------------------------------------------------------

Cecil stared in horror at the man across the table. How did he get mixed up in this? He gives a whimper but feels Charles’s hand tighten around his arm and he clamps his mouth shut. He’s haphazardly shoved into a chair at the table and Charles sits beside him. It takes all of his self control to not flinch back when Charles leans close. 

“Remember what I said beautiful. One wrong move and-“ Charles presses the barrel of a gun against Cecil’s leg. 

Cecil tenses and nods quickly. Charles smiles and kisses temple before sitting up straight. 

“So Charles.” Carlos speaks up. “Who’s your new friend?”

Charles turns his attention back to Carlos. “Oh this?” He runs his knuckles down Cecil’s cheek. Cecil bites the inside of his cheek and does his best not to react. “This is Dylan Marron. He’s our newest Recruit. Beautiful isn’t he?”

“Well I can’t say you have bad taste.” Carlos answers with an easy smile. “What’s with the sunglasses?”

Cecil opens his mouth to answer, but Charles digs his nails into his leg and Cecil’s jaw snapped shut. 

“He’s got light sensitivity and he’s a mute. But we all have our flaws right? And he most certainly makes up for it in other ways.” Charles smirks and drapes an arm around Cecil’s shoulders, fingers brushing through the short brown hair while his other hand held Kevin’s gently, brushing a thumb over the other man’s knuckles. 

Cecil manages a small, forced smile but keeps his eyes down. He can just barely feel the gun laying on Charles’s lap. Maybe he could…..but then they were in a room with Charles’s armed men. Even if he could get the gun, he or Carlos would be shot down before he could even get the safety off. All he could do was sit there and take the advances. 

Charles gives a softly laugh and shakes his head. “That’s nice.” He then sits up straight, face serious. “I’ve actually come to ask for your help.”

Charles lets go if Cecil and sits upright. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s about Cecil.”

Cecil does his best not to react at both Carlos’s words and the fact that Charles’s hand tightened on his leg again. He dug his nails into the soft flesh there, causing Cecil to bite back a whimper. 

“Is something wrong? Where is Cecil anyway? I thought you never went anywhere without him.” Charles rests his chin in his palm. 

Carlos shifts a little. “That’s the thing. I have no idea. He disappeared Friday and I haven’t heard from him since. I think someone took him. And I-I’m worried. He doesn’t do good with a lot of stress.”

Cecil shivers when Charles rubs his thumb back and forth over his leg. 

“That’s terrible. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“I was hoping you could use your connections to check around? I hate to ask favors but I really need to find him.”

“I don’t mind helping. I’ll look around for you. We’re going to find him. Don’t worry.”

Carlos face breaks into a relieved smile. “Thank you. I owe you one.”

“Eh don’t worry about it. I’m happy to help.”

Cecil stares at the man across the table, desperately hoping to get him to realize what he was missing was right here. Right in front of him. 

"Is there anything specific I need to let my people know? Birthmarks or tattoos or the like?"

"Well…." Carlos bites his lip. 

"The more information I have the better chance we have of finding him." Charles points out. 

"He has a birthmark shaped like an eye on his left hip. He doesn't have any tattoos but he does have freckles on his collar bone."

Cecil tenses again when he feels Charles's arm slip around his waist and bunch the dress shirt up a little, enough to brush his finger tips against the skin of Cecil's hips before digging his nails in. Cecil bites down hard on the inside of his lip as he fights back a reaction. What's going to happen to him now? Who knows what Charles is going to do when they're alone again. 

"I'll put my best people on it." Charles gives a sweet smile. He looks up as the waitress approaches. "Oh Hello Cassandra. We'll take the usual love."

 The waitress gives a tight smile and a nod. "Of course sir. And you?" She looks at Cecil. 

Charles digs his nails into Cecil's side more, nearly breaking the skin. "He'll have it too. Won't you dear?" He purrs at Cecil, once again pressing the gun into Cecil's leg. He slowly moves the gun up to rest at the hem of Cecil's pants. It was a silent threat. Choose your reactions carefully if you want to get out of this alive. 

Cecil swallows thickly and just nods. 

"So why does the waitress look ready to shank you?" Carlos asks with an amused smile after she had left. 

"Oh she's just mad cause her wife works for Ellie to pay off their debt to me." Charles muses into his wine glass. 

"Ah well, that's a shame."

Cecil feels himself zone out as the lunch goes on. He picks at the food he's served, aware that this could be the last unpoisoned meal he gets for a while but not hungry enough to stomach it.  He knows Charles brought him here to torture him. To make him see that he's helpless. Maybe he got off on it. Charles had moved the gun away again but that doesn't ease Cecil's nerves. If anything it made him more on edge. That gun could be pointed at Carlos. He does finish the glass of red wine but doesn't allow himself to enjoy it. Eventually the arm around his waist disappeared, making Cecil look up. Charles was paying the check but Kevin was standing. Kevin puts his hands on Cecil's shoulders. Cecil looks up. Kevin jerks his head and Cecil takes the silent cue to follow. 

Once at the car, Kevin pushes Cecil against it, leaning close.

Cecil's eyes go wide in fear. 

"Shh. Don't panic." Kevin whispers. "He's watching but I saw what he did and thought you might need a getaway."

Cecil nods minutely. 

"Spread your legs a little. I'm not going to touch you but he needs to be convinced."

Cecil looks uneasy but shifts his stance as Kevin wedges a knee between his thighs. 

"We need to talk."

"Okay…." Cecil says in confusion. 

"I'm your friend in this mess and I need you to tell me if he's ever to much and I'll see what I can do."

"Kevin…..you shouldn't risk yourself for me. I'm not worth-"

"Shh shh. Just let me offer you the chance for help I never got."

Cecil looks down before looking back up. "Thank you Kevin. Thank you. I wish I could do something for you-"

Kevin looks around before looking back at Cecil. "Forgive me." He says softly before leaning forward, putting his hand over Cecil's lips. 

Cecil's eyes go wide and before he could protest, Kevin is kissing him over the hand. 

"Having fun without me?" Charles's voice makes Cecil jump. Kevin pulls away and turns. 

"Of course not. I just was trying to calm Cecil's nerves is all." Kevin smiles. 

"Well we can have fun later. Kevin get him in the car. We need to get home."

-----.-----

“Riley I need you to run a check for me.” Carlos says as he bursts into her office and makes her jump.

“Dude chill. What do you need boss?”

“I need you to run a search for a Dylan Marron. He would have recently moved here.” Carlos leans over next to her. Something about that guy put Carlos on edge. 

“Anything to narrow it down?”

“Black hair Though likely dyed and he’s a mute.”

“Alright….” Riley pops her fingers before typing quickly, scanning through lists and databases. "Anything else? Eye color?"

"No. He had sunglasses the whole time. Charles said something about light sensitivity."

After a moment there is a ping. “Uh Carlos?”

“Yeah?”

“Dylan Marron doesn’t exist."

-----.-----

Cecil stirs when the bedroom door opens. He sits up a little. "Carlos?" He slurs. The bed dips beside him and he sees the faint orange glow of a cigarette. Wait a moment. Carlos doesn't smoke…..

Cecil is rolls onto his side and his sleep shirt is pushed up as rough hands move over his skin. A pen light makes Cecil squint.

"What-" He cuts off with a scream.

The cigarette is pressed into the birthmark on his side repeatedly. He tried to push his attacker away but another hand pins his wrists to his chest. The cigarette is pressed into his skin again and again, burning the sensitive skin. Cecil twists in an attempt to escape the pain. "Stop." He sobs. "Please….stop. I'm sorry. Please… I'm sorry. Im sorry. Whatever I promise I won't do it again." He begs and begs until he blacks out.