#Anyway I tend to procrastinate on playing new games so for like a month it went untouched
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PLEASE PLAY THE RABBIDS GAME ITS SO GOOOD
I WANT TO I WANT TO I WANT TO SO BADLY
I am however a broke ass bitch all the time and cannot afford two 60 dollar games even at the best of times atm
It looks really cool, the models are surprisingly pretty and the animation looks really good, I'm not sure I'd be good at the gameplay but they look nice and I'd LOVE to try them some time
I don't mind story spoilers (does it have a deep story? dunno) so feel free to come talk at me about it some time!!
#Thankyou for asking#Trust me trust me I WANT to#I am however very broke and was just contemplating the price of new Nintendo games#FUN FACT;#I actually DO own the first of the two Rabbids games!!#My sister got it for me for Christmas like the year after it came out?? Sometime ago my sense of time is really off honestly#Anyway I tend to procrastinate on playing new games so for like a month it went untouched#Then I finally decided to try playing it and my Joycons weren't working??#They didn't charge they wouldn't sync to the switch they wouldn't even turn on#So I send them into Nintendo and I have to go like 2 months no Switch at all#Because I'm a broke ass pleb who ONLY has the joycons the console came with#When they finally came BACK I've forgotten the excitement for Rabbids and play mostly Animal Crossing and Splatoon 2 instead#Until my Switch starts shutting itself off from Overheating every 15 minutes#Turns out the fan in my Switch isn't running anymore???#So I call Nintendo (again) and find out to fix the console it's $100 and a risk of loosing all your save data#Soooo my dad looks up a Right to Repair video tutorial and we fix it ourselves#And that was all fine and good until I finally decide to plug in my physical copy of the Rabbids game again#(half a year after I'd originally gotten it)#And the card reader!!!!! Doesn't work!!!!!!#Because the inside of the Switch is SO small and delicate I bent something while repairing it and now the card reader isn't working!!!!#So once again it's either $100 to Nintendo and the risk of loosing save data#Or taking the thing apart and fixing it ourselves#I ended up doing neither because if I break it worse I just won't have a Switch anymore#So yeah. I own a never played copy of the first Mario + Rabbids game.#rip to me I GUESS
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Fanfic ask game for procrastinating on writing, that's what I'm understanding here, got it.
(tagged by @mllekurtz, thank you! these are super fun questions)
1) How many works do you have on AO3?
55! Jeeeeeez that's a lot.
2) What’s your total AO3 word count?
295k. (Maybe it's because I come from the writing month world but that's the only stat I genuinely pay attention to lol.)
3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
In current times, only Critical Role—back in the day I wrote on ff.net for Heroes and Castle and a few YA books.
4) What are your top five fics by kudos?
before it buries me
This was... actually my first shadowgast fic! One-shot set right after 91.
now I will ask you to be brave
Okay, so, this fic. I will not describe it, as I don't want to get anyone's hopes up. I started it right after hiatus with lofty ambitions and promptly realized my hubris, and now it is definitely never going to be finished. I did not get far. My deepest apologies to anyone who has read it and wanted more.
seeing eye to eye
One-shot of the nein running into Essek's family, and Beau understanding him a little better, rich kid with shitty parents to rich kid with shitty parents. A very specific characterization of Deirta in here, mostly filtered through Beau's mentality, which was so fun to write.
not from the absence of violence
OLD GUARD AU MY BELOVED. I desperately want to write in this au more but have not had the time or ideas, but holy shit I love this au so much.
cruel tricks the gods play
Another pre-97 shadowgast one-shot—the peace talks go very wrong and Caleb and Essek end up pulling a Titanic on a plank of wood after the ship sinks. Very fun, very no longer canon-compliant.
5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
So, okay, I do not, but this is a Thing for me, because I have, inexplicably, deep panic about responding to ao3 comments. I do not know why. I can feel physical panic thinking about it now. I aggressively hate it because I do really want to respond to comments because commenters are so lovely! I think it is a combination of my brain not knowing the culture of ao3 interaction well enough that it seems alarming (thanks, neurodivergence) and college screenwriting workshops in which I was taught not to respond during critique.
In any case, I do not have the same weird panic about tumblr interactions, so I'm always down to chat here.
6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
You know, for all of the angst that I write, I don't really write angsty endings. I think my two main Verin-centric fics (laid out one by one and this guilt-ridden heart) end kind of angstily, because that relationship isn't gonna be fixed in a conversation. But in general I think the worst I've got is bittersweet.
7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?
I don't—I'd have to have a really, really good concept to write a crossover.
8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?
Not that I can remember, though who knows if I got any in high school. I'm a little impervious to flames anyway—again, workshop classes helped with the reminders that critique is what's useful, while hate is just, 'you can't please everyone'.
9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?
I do not!
10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I mean, not that I'm aware of lol.
11) Have you ever had a fic translated?
Nope!
12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Nope.
13) What’s your all time favourite ship?
I mean, currently? Shadowgast. I don't have an all-time.
14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
sweet child. "Someday!" she says, shaking her fist at an unforgiving god.
15) What are your writing strengths?
I've suddenly forgotten every comment I've ever gotten. I am pretty good at grounded settings when I put in the effort. I think I am good at matching character voices—far better than inventing new ones.
And in terms of writing process... I managed to decide somewhere along the way that I like my own writing? Which is very hard, but also once you do that, it's a lot easier to just write instead of being hung up on quality, and it's then easier to notice when you're falling out of your own voice or when you actually need to rewrite a scene. I think I forced myself into this practice because I am soooo bad at sitting down and editing, so I have to do it as I write, and I had to get over the "this writing sounds like me therefore it is bad" feeling to manage that. (This has been my "love yourself as a writer" high horse.)
16) What are your writing weaknesses?
I think I overexplain. And on the other side, I lean so heavily into showing emotion via physical sensation that I forget to actually write the emotion.
And on a similar process high horse, I am so bad about feeling constantly like I need to write everything right now. This is primarily a problem because if I get too in my head about it, I end up writing none of it. I have not found a way to combat this, except to put one sentence in front of the other. (This is not helped by my ever-increasing pile of wips and ideas lol.)
17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
I patently refuse to do it, because I hate the idea of butchering a language I don't know, and because I tend to try to draw as little attention to the fact that a thing is written as possible, and if a language has to be translated via a glossary or something, it's drawing more attention to that, and even if it's something I'm leaving untranslated, someone who speaks that language will know that I have butchered it. That being said, I don't dislike it when I'm reading!
18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?
Percy Jackson! I wrote so much PJO fic in middle school.
19) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?
what luminous worlds await, if only for the sheer enormity of that project and my delight that it actually came together. Though I cannot mention that without mentioning Icarus to your certainty, without which I probably would not have even written the former.
Tagging (and please feel free to ignore if you so choose) @the-littlest-goblin @mithrilwren @sky-scribbles!
#hello I am being perceived#dating myself with the use of the word 'flames'#I'm sorry for my strengths/weaknesses responses I hate evaluating my own qualities and love talking about writing process lmao#and now that I have managed to waste half an hour time to go back to writing lol#just! very! passionate! about! writing process!
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2, 3, 4, 5 (if you want too), 13, and 12 for Self Care Day. Sorry if that's a lot
Don't worry, it's not a lot! I love talking about my fics anyway <3 (Putting under read more because I love to rant lmao)
2: Do you focus on attention to detail when you read fics? Are you more or less attention to detail focused when you write fics? I try and focus on the small details for all of my fics. When I plan them out, I try and think of small details that would hint at something. This mainly leans towards my plot-heavy fics, though; my less-plot-more-fluffy-thing fics don't have too much details in them. For when I read them, I don't tend to pay attention to details lmao 😅 probably why I don't put too much details into my own fics. I think about adding these small details, but I forget or just not add said details in general. It's probably because since I don't pay attention to details in fics, I think that people won't pick up on my own lmao (I should start adding more details into my fics lol)
3: Do you have any upcoming WIPs? How far along are you with them? Oh, I have many different WIPs, but I have one specific one that I'm working on the most and am excited to get out!! It's an Obey Me fic where the brothers are cursed and swap sins <3 I also have a few other ones; most of them are Danganronpa (Kazuichi fic, a night out with the v2 boys, an Ultimate Killing Game, and a few other ideas too). Hopefully I'll get to those ideas soon, but for now, I'll be working on my Obey Me fics (I of course have other ideas for OM, but right now I'm focusing on this OM fic, and then I'll probably start working on my Dangan fics)
4: Tell me about one of your abandoned WIPs. Why did you abandon it? Oh, I have many abandoned WIPs lmao The biggest reason I abandon ideas and fics is because I loose interest. My fixations on fandoms move very quickly--I think the longest I've ever been in a fandom was like 8 months lol ^^; Most fandoms only last a few months, and seeing how I heavily procrastinate on my fics, I end up loosing interest and gain a new interest with something else. It's one of the main reason why I almost never write multi. chapter fics, and when I do, they're never finished. I quickly loose interest and can't bring myself to finish them 😅 Hopefully my Dangan fixation will last a while (idk about OM, but hopefully that'll last long too lol), so I'll be able to write all of my ideas. But I guess we'll just have to see
5: Share a snippet that you’re proud of from an upcoming fic/chapter. ooooo yes!! Okay, here's a snippet from my sin swap idea for Obey Me! ~~~ “Hey, watcha playin’ there?” [Mammon] asked, walking into the dark room. “Oh, hey Mammon,” Levi greeted, eyes glued to the screen. “Picked up a new human game for all of us to play. It lets a total of eight players, so I was thinking maybe we could all play it for game night.” “Eh? What game is it?” “Super Smash Bros. Ultimate,” he answered, trying his hardest to focus both on Mammon and on the match. “It just came out today, and I went to the human world as early as I could to make sure I got a copy.” He looked very proud of himself as he added, “I was able to get one of the last copies at the store!” Mammon hummed as he watched the screen. Levi then let out a loud whoop as the match finished, the game declaring him as the winner. “He’s cheating,” Beel muttered, putting down the controller. “Picking Kirby every single round is unfair.” “You’re just jealous over how amazing I am,” Levi said with a smirk. It looked odd in Mammon’s opinion--he’s never seen Levi with a satisfied and proud smirk on his face. Levi then let out a shriek when a controller was thrown at him. “S-Satan!” “What? I didn’t throw it,” Satan said. “Actually, I’m not that mad at all. Belphie was the one who threw the controller.” Levi looked over to Belphie, who seemed to be quietly seething. He then stood up abruptly, startling Mammon. “I’m going to my room to take a nap,” he announced, anger clear in his voice, and started to walk out. “Tell me when dinner’s done.” When he left, slamming the door behind him, the room was silent. “Seems like someone got up on the wrong side of the bed,” Mammon commented. Beel frowned and got up as well. “I’ve never seen him that angry before,” he said. “I’ll go check on him and see what’s wrong.” Once Beel had left the room, Satan put down his controller. “I suppose that’s my cue to leave as well.” “C’mon! One more round?” Levi asked. Satan looked over to his brother, making direct eye contact with him. “Levi, I am done playing your games. I’m going to go and read now,” he said. Levi stared back for a few moments, and then nodded. ~~~ I'm not proud of this per say, but I think this is the best I've got down so far. The better parts of the fic are definitely coming up soon, I just haven't written them yet (I procrastinate too much TwT)
13: Do you prefer writing multi-chapter fics or single-part fics? Do you prefer reading multi-chapter fics or single-part fics? Single part fics, definitely. For writing, anyways. I prefer that because there's a bigger chance of me actually finishing it and posting it. If it's multiple parts, that means more writing (usually), and then it's left abandoned and unfinished. For reading, I don't really mind. In the past I've preferred oneshots, but lately I've been reading longer multi. chapter fics. So I guess it just depends on what I'm in the mood for
12: Why did you choose to write Self Care Day? How long have you been working on it? I chose to write that fic because I wanted my first OM fic to be something simple and cute, and also because Levi and Asmo are my favorites, and I just wanted to write about my two favorites bonding <3 For how long I've been working on it, I'm not really sure. I'd say at the very least a month, a month and a half. I can't really remember lmao but I do take forever with writing fics. I don't have too much time to write, and I also just procrastinate a lot anyways, so it takes me forever to finish fics
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Hi!! Could I have a matchup please? I'm 18, pronouns she/her, I'm fine w any gender though I have a preference for males
If its of any relevance, physically I'm about 5'8 tall and on the chubby side, green eyes, brown hair (with blonde streaks) and I wear glasses
If you're into astrology/ mbti, I am a Sagittarius w both moon and rising in Cancer and I'm INFP
So I'm quite emotional lol. Usually very in touch with my emotions and quite perceptive of other's feelings as well. I have a huge saviours complex especially when it comes to feelings (i love helping others figure out their feelings, being a shoulder to cry on or even offering comforting hugs) but I try my best to keep it control cause I don't wanna be suffocating
On the outside I'd say I'm fairly organized, I keep my room clean and all of that, I'm a lil bit of a perfectionist but mentally I'm all over the place. I tend to get carried away by thoughts and emotions and end up procrastinating a lot; anxiety makes it all worse. In short, I suck at time management
To most people I may seem quiet and reserved but I actually really enjoy talking to people; I'm really insecure about not being funny or interesting enough tho. Around my friends I'm more relaxed but still have moments of self doubt
I can also be quite obsessive. If something really catches my interest I won't stop until I search all there is to know about it. For example I watched bnha, read the manga, the spin offs etc all in less than a month and now I'm indulging in fanart and fanfics because I need m o r e c o n t e n t hsbsb. I'm also that kind of person that listens to a new song they like on repeat until they hate it. Speaking of music, I can't say I have a taste lol. My fave genres are rock, pop and indie but I hear smth I like, I listen to it, whether its "high quality" music, basic or weird. Lately I've been listening to a lot of epicore which is literally the type of music thats used in fantasy and sci fi movies askfkdk
I like expressing myself through writing, singing and dancing but I really can't say I'm talented at either of those, it's all in good fun. I also enjoy reading (fiction, non-fic books bore me like hell; my fave genres are fantasy, sci fi and crime) but I haaate literature in school. I'm actually a bit of a math nerd and this year I'm starting uni, studying computer science!! Oh! I've also taken drama classes for 2 years (despite the fear I loved being on stage and plan on starting again once I'm done w the baccalaureate), I love playing D&D and while I woulnd't quite call myself a gamer, I love role playing video games. I'm also almost always down for any kind of multiplayer video games w friends although I have no experience
I'm not a sportive person, I go on walks or do a few exercises every now and then at home but I'm willing to try stuff out like a new sport or going to the gym w an s/o. I do plan on starting self defense classes soon and maybe taking up sword fighting (I love swords hehe)
Tbh I've never been in a relationship so I'm not really sure how I would act w an s/o, nor what I'm exactly looking for. I best express my affection through physical touch tho and that includes my friends so I'd like someone who isn't bothered or can get used to that (s/o would still receive the most hugs/ cuddles etc). I'm not that comfortable w the other love languages for friends and family, but I think I'd be a lot more eager to express my love through them for s/o. If I'm on the receiving end, my weakness is still physical touch :)) but I also need words of affirmation every now and then cause insecurities 🌠 and while I wouldn't ask for anything, especially objects, I am a hoarder and I'd keep any kind of gift like its a national treasure simply bc its from someone I love.
In addition, it doesn't really matter if s/o is more on the emotional or rational side a long as they dont invalidate my feelings; it angers me a lot and makes me feel even more insecure. I tend to isolate when I'm really really upset about something so I need a lil bit of pushing to talk abt it; I'm open to talk abt my feelings but I need the verbal confirmation that they care and wanna help, its not just cause they're being nice
Wow that is a lot of rambling jeez ajsjsjs sorry. Thank you so much if you've read throught that all and ty for the match up!!
Me and my wife literally having a ten minute debate on who we’d pair you with before I made my choice. Thanks for all the details and I hope you enjoy the match up!
I match you with Sero
I feel he’s outgoing and extroverted enough to help you with your anxiety and always reassure you that you are good at things and he does love you, he’s also so chill and laid back that even if you were clingy he’d not mind, he’d embrace it, his chill nature would help balance you. He would help you feel grounded and have a ‘you don’t have to do it all now’ attitude but would happily help you out. You need help going to the store? He remembers the list you wrote, having trouble fitting in lunch while you study? He’ll come to your door with pizza.
He’s determined and outgoing but isn’t aggressively positive and loud either which I think is why I picked him over Kirishima for you.
+++
“Hey babe, whatcha reading?” Sero asked sitting next to you on the sofa, he handed you a soda which you gratefully took, not looking up from your laptop screen.
As soon as he was sat down comfortably your hand grabbed his, clasping your fingers together as you managed to tear your gaze away from the Wikipedia page which was still open. You blinked up at him and shook your head.
“Oh just something I learned about today and wanted to do some.. extra reading” you explained.
He nodded his head and drank his soda watching as your face lit up as you started to ramble about the topic, he didn’t really know much about it but the way you told him about everything, the way you happily expressed your interest towards the topic made him happy. He gave you his big grin when you finished.
“Sorry, I rambled..” You felt bad, you always felt nervous when you info dumped on people.
“Nah, it’s cool, I didn’t mind at all” he brought your hand up to his face and gave it a kiss, your face flushed at the gentle gesture which caused Sero to laugh playfully.
“Well, if your sure… I just wanted something to take my mind off chores”.
“It’s the weekend, you don’t have to rush anyway.. and if you don’t feel better by tomorrow I can help, you can wash the dishes and I’ll dry?” he suggested still peppering kisses on the back of your hand before you set your laptop down and crawled closer to him.
You nodded softly, that sounded a lot more manageable, you felt your anxiety settle down from a raging nagging feeling to something easier to tolerate. He was such a good influence on you. Sero set down his drink and wrapped his arm around you, pulling you closer to his chest.
“The guys want to come over and say hi later, maybe get pizza… but I can tell them not tonight if you aren’t feeling it… maybe you can play that new game you got? I liked watching you play the other night” He suggested as he nuzzled your head, enjoying how your hair felt on his face.
“Maybe… can I give you an answer later?”
“Yeah, no rush babe”
You smiled softly feeling the lanky boy kiss the side of your head and listened as you carried on talking about the trivia of your current interest.
#match up monday#mha match up#bnha match up#bnha reader insert#mha reader insert#sero hanta x reader#sero x reader
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Ways to start writing every day
I’ve been writing for a few years now, and early on, I would write for a few days at a time, and then I’d abandon my work for months at a time and not write. During the beginnings of Project Toxin, my main WIP, I went three months without writing a word. And while missing a day or two is okay, especially if you’ve got mental health stuff that day (do not ignore your mental health), at least for me, there was this guilt that would grow worse and worse when I wasn’t writing. Somehow, that made it harder to write. There was a sense of “well I’ve screwed up by not writing, and I know I should be writing, but it’s not worth it now.” Which, by the way, is flawed reasoning. Below are some tips that I’ve discovered are useful to write every day, or at least 30 days of the month.
Coming out of writers block
1) Watch videos or listen to podcasts with writing advice.
I’ve found this effective because there’s that sense of “oh, I want to try that.” You’re not actually forcing yourself to write at this exact moment, and even if that seems counterproductive, it does take some of the stress off. Think about it; writing a book is frequently described as running a literary marathon. You can’t just jump up from the couch one day and go do it. You’ve got to get into the right mindset, and you have to be ready to do it. Seeking out inspiration is one of those steps to get you back into it.
2) Open up your writing document/notebook and read the last chapter
You don’t have to write, but open up your WIP and just read the stuff at the end, or if you’ve got the time/willpower for it, read the whole thing. A lot of times, procrastination - and writer’s block - is the fear or aversion to starting. It’s that first step that’s hard. So make it easier on yourself. Make the first step as approachable as you can. It might feel like you need to be strict with yourself, but going back to writing after writer’s block is all about easing back into it.
3) Do a writing sprint about your story
Set a timer for however long you like: five minutes, seven, ten, fifteen, twenty. Then during that time, write about your story. Things you like, don’t like. Why you haven’t been writing. Don’t stop. Don’t filter yourself. A lot of times, writer’s block is filled with a distructive sense of guilt - a distructive sense of “I need to be writing but I can’t so I won’t.” Getting all of these feelings on paper can help you distance yourself from those thoughts and put things into better perspective. The writing about your story itself can also give you new ideas about where you want to go, and where you feel like you’ve been. If you don’t have a WIP, then you can write about stories that you want to write. Or ideas that you think are cool.
Sticking with writing
1) Set up a reward/negative outcome system for writing
People tend to fall into one of two catagories: people who are motivated by reward, and people who are motivated by punishment. For me personally, I’m easily motivated by reward, but punishment never really makes that big of an impact. I also know people who are the other way around. Think about your past life experience, and think about what’s more motivating to you.
If you’re a reward motivated person, come up with rewards that you get for doing certain amounts of writing. Maybe you get to watch an extra episode of your favorite show if you get your daily wordcount. Maybe achievement in a day is cumulative; for every x number of words, you get another ten minutes of your favorite video game. If you don’t think that you’re going to be able to follow through (ie you think that yo’re going to be prone to grabbing the reward anyway regardless of your writing), let a friend or partner or sibling know what’s going on; maybe have them take away whatever thing it is until you’ve completed your goal. Make the thing a legitimate reward.
If you’re a punishment motivated person, think about things that you enjoy. Those things are now going to be taken away if you don’t write enough. Maybe you enjoy it when your partner gives you a shoulder massage. If you don’t write, you don’t get a shoulder massage. Make sure that whatever thing is on the line is not going to negatively affect your mental health. Don’t take away things like food in general (though taking away a specific type is fine), water, sleep or physical activity. If you don’t write enough and you don’t let yourself have these things, it’s only going to keep you from writing more.
2) Celebrate your wins and successes
If you’ve passed a writing milestone, celebrate. It can be big, but it doesn’t have to be. Acknowleging that you’ve completed something can be enough. It shows that you’re getting somewhere, and sometimes progress itself can be good inspiration.
3) Make sure you’ve got a setup that works for you
Some people need to write at the same time every day. Other people just need a certain location and a cup of tea. Others need certain sounds or levels of organization. Figure out what works for you, and set that up. This might also include what processer you prefer writing with. Make sure you’ve got the setup that helps you write the most successfully, and that puts you into a positive mindset.
4) Seek out inspiration
Inspiration is great for writers, but it’s not always reliable when it will hit you. So seek it out. Are there specific types of videos or images that get you into your story? Are there places where you like to stop and hang out? Books or shows that get your gears turning? Many people also say they have their best ideas on their commutes or in their shower, and this is because you’re most creative when you’re relaxed. When you’re commuting or taking a shower, you’re more relaxed in general, allowing this sort of inspiration to appear seemingly out of nowhere.
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So what might this look like?
For me, I’m a person who’s not in the middle of writer’s block, so I would skip to the second section. I’ve discovered that I’m more reward oriented, so I focus on setting up things to work toward, rather than things to work away from. I use a site called 4thewords.com, which is a site that gamifies writing, where the goal is to defeat monsters by writing words. The reward I get is the satisfaction that comes from defeating monsters and finishing quests. I celebrate a lot of my successes by talking to my family about them (they’re supportive), posting about it here on tumblr, and letting myself play extra rounds of video games. The setup that works for me is whenever I get a chance, I grab my laptop, turn on some music, and write on 4thewords. For inspiration I look for how-to videos and I do things that let my mind wander. Overall, I haven’t missed more than two days in the last four or five months.
note: if you want to join 4thewords, you can use this referral (my username is quinn-erto): S2XSR15522
#writing#writing on tumblr#writeblr#writing tips#writing advice#writers block#how to combat writer's block#how to keep writing every day#writing every day#overcoming writer's block#olive's writing vibes
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Hi~! Can I have a written ship for ateez, bts, and nct 127 please? I’m 21 years old, American, 5’4, Gemini, and I have green eyes. I’m very shy and awkward at first, but I’m more talkative, bubbly, weird, and feisty once you get to know me. I’m also a little moody and lazy at times 🥴. I’m going to school to be a vet tech (love animals) and I love taking naps. I enjoy sweets, soft/cuddly stuff, and trashy tv shows. I prefer to stay inside than go out to have fun, but I do enjoy shopping. Thank you so much! 🤗
Hii sweet pea🌸🌸, thanks for requesting. You sound like a sweetheart. I also appreciate your patience here’s your ship...
From Ateez, I ship you with...Seongwha
Positive Side: An adorable little duo. First of all Aries and Gemini’s are total couple material. There’s very strong communication and strong personalities that can handle each other. So both of your shells would open fast once you meet each other and at that point, the attachment becomes stronger as your days together goes by. Although Seongwha can be the more aggressive one in the relationship, it’s only because he’s a lot more passionate and excited about how things will start to develop in your relationship. Dates together are very soft! Since you both can be lazy at times, you both love to binge watch your favorite movies, dramas and tv shows together all day and have discussions in between every episode. His reactions to every app always makes you laugh because there so over the top. When you try to cuddle close to him, he would try to push you away acting like he didn’t like it at first, but then a second later he would pull you back close to him caressing the top of your head. He would be so supportive of your vet tech career and will be motivating you every step of the way.
Negative Side: As a team, it’s hard for the both of you to follow through with finishing a task/project without the other person. You both have this habit where you tend to procrastinate very easily by taking long naps, talking to your friends or even scrolling through social media. It’s understandable because your both working hard to take your careers to the next level but sometimes it can be hard to keep up with deadlines. For example, one day Seongwha would have to have an extra day exstension for not learning the choreography all because he was hanging out with his friends. In the case with you, you could miss one quiz one night because you stayed up all night watching Boys over Flowers.
But...: You both don’t let this happen all the time, especially when it all depends on your future. If it’s a goal you really want to accomplish or finish something your really interested in, your going to dedicate all the the time and put in effort in order to complete it. Once the job is done it’s back to the normal routine which doesn’t mean it’s necessarily a bad thing. When both of you complete your goals, you reward each other by going shopping or going out on a ice cream date. That’s the best part about this relationship, celebrating each other’s proud moments.
Uggh my gahd, stop it your too cute. 😭✨
From Bts, I ship you with...Jungkook
Positive Side: This bunny boy would love you in ways nobody else has shown you in a long time. At first it took sometime for you two to open up because of how shy, quiet and awkward you two can be when meeting each other, but he wanted you to feel comfortable by breaking his shell out as you were the one opening up to him first. Jungkook just follows your lead in the beginning when it comes to having conversations and even hanging out with him. After awhile, he just knew in his heart he wanted to be with you and worked for it until you accepted his confession. Jungkook loves exploring when it comes to trying new sweet spots with you. If you wanted a pound of chocolate chip edible cookie dough, he would get it for you. Also when your shopping with him to help him get his stage outfits for the next concert is a time where you both get silly chasing each other in and out the dressing room. Also you hyping each other up when getting each other’s hair done. “Wow look at my scrumptious blueberry. I love the blue hair on you.” He looks to the side blushing ruffling his hair. “I could say the same about you. They did amazing with your highlights.” Lastly, he would be there for you the whole time throughout your time finishing school. In a sense, he knows what it feels like to handle the pressure of graduating while practing as sn idol at a young age. He would give you words of encouragement and even right messages on sticky notes in your notebook every do it can boosts your energy.
Negative Side: Your both homey people which works out for the best, but out of the both of you, Jungkook is the more adventurous one. It’s expected that he’s more energetic because of his busy schedule and being an idol. Whenever he tries to ask you some days if you want to come along with him to go to the beach with him and the members or even try to tag you along with him to his next performance, your schedules wouldn’t line up or you were tired from working all day and just wanted to get some sleep. The both of you feel upset whenever you can’t see each other those days, but the you know that you have to finish your jobs for the day.
But...: Once a special occasion comes up such as a date, anniversary or a holiday comes up, you both plan months ahead to dedicate that time off. Once you get the approval to spend time with each other, it’s just makes your whole day. If it doesn’t ever work out, you guys still find time to FaceTime from your locations, you even decide to have fun with it. One time you had decided to do a FaceTime dinner date where you both dressed fancy and ordered the same food from different hotels. “The steak tastes so delicious babe. Thanks for recommending it to me.” “It’s no problem. I always know what you like. You look stunning in that dress baby.” The both of you blush at the amount of compliments you give each other and chat the whole night until you go to sleep.
From NCT 127, I ship you with...Haechan
Positive Side: Y’all would have a love-hate relationship. When y’all first meet, from the jump he would be dying to get to know you asking you all kinds of questions, but that’s because he wanted you to open out of your shell. Once y’all got to know each a lot better and become best friends, get ready for this man to tease you nonstop. He would jokingly try to push your bottons by making fun of how you eat soup, the way you walk in heels, literally anything and that’s when you both bicker back in forth coming for each other’s throats. After awhile, you both start developing feelings and it was awkward because the both of you were trying not to make it too obvious, but once you finally confess to each other it was a beautiful moment that you both can cherish. Not much changed in your relationship at that point it was more like best friends doing romantic things. He would drag you along everywhere whenever him and his 127 members travel around different states not giving a care in the world who was gossiping about the two of you. You also have chill dates where you’d sneak into each other’s rooms helping you study for school or watching movies all night long, but y’all would be distracted either way by play fighting or making out under the covers. Since both your moods change fast, it makes sense that this is your routine, but you both wouldn’t ever wanted things to change.
Negative Side: In the beginning, Haechan would sometimes go a little to far getting on your nerves bothering you constantly. One time you were tired from class and had to redo a paper from one of your English classes and all of a sudden Haechan was already on a ten dancing baby shark sexily in front of you. At first you were laughing and told him to stop, but then that turned to hours of silliness which led to missing your deadline to your paper. Even sometimes when he roasts you infront of the members, it turns into a big blowout with you both ignoring each other for days. “You know what Haechan you play too much and I’ve really had enough of your games. Your sleeping on the couch tonight.” “Fine by me, you snore too much anyway.” Snatches your pillow from you and slams the door. “I swear, he’s such a child..”
But...: The members couldn’t stand how gloomy you two were around each other and put you two in a private room to work out your differences. It was hard at first because your constant arguing. Once you both realize how hard you were on each other, you both made up and started to learn when not to cross the line with hurting each other’s feelings. He’s never going to stop messing with you, because that’s how he shows his form of love for you. What’s even better is that Haechan can be the best boyfriend at the same time being your number 1 supporter, teddy bear, best friend and lover.
Out of everyone, I ship you the most with...Jungkook ⭐️
@ermbabyel I hope you liked your ship and feel free to request again anytime in the future.
#submission#kpop ships#written ships#bts ships#nct 127 ships#ateez ships#ateez#nct 127#Bts#Jungkook#haechan#Seongwha
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Good grief, Charlie Brown.
I’ve never owned an electric toothbrush. I’ve never had a dishwasher. I am the dishwasher. I like washing dishes. I never bought an iron. I don’t have a hairdryer. I find it strange that I get advertised these reusable alternatives for things that I never use anyway. Alternatives to cling film. I put another plate over the dish. Alternatives to cotton buds. I use my finger. (Ew, you may say, but surely a finger’s that size to fit in ears and nostrils? Or whatever orifice you please. Wash your hawnds.) Alternatives to cotton wool circles. What? I dont know why these thoughts have come into my head, when I want to write about my youngest child. Really, I’m meant to be working, but an annoying email from my dead daughter’s school sent me down a suicide rabbithole. Perhaps those other thoughts come about as my classic brain avoidance schemes. Like when you hoover instead of doing an essay. Positive procrastination, I used to call it. I wanted to visit some friends last night- a fun thing! but I was feeling all solitary and awkward. I cleaned the bathroom ceiling at first, instead! I had to really talk myself into going to see them. I was looking at my bed and it was saying, “Get into me! and read your book!”
Then I went, and I had a lovely time, of course. I still finished the book I was reading, when I got home at midnight, until three am, making myself ever so tired. I’ve stopped taking the tablets- beta blockers and mirtazapine (more by accident rather than design. They’re still up in the chemist waiting for me. I’m rather disorganised) and so sleep doesn’t come as readily. I have to take deep breaths for ages sometimes, to get over. And I awake in the night hearing things that aren’t there. I heard The Woodcarver calling me, one night, plain and loud as day. Another time, I heard my son knocking my door three times, sharply (or was it a burglar? I said that to someone and they laughed. Burglars don’t knock! Oh, hello there, wake up, I’m robbing you blind!) Bounced out of bed. Heart hammering. Called him. He was fast asleep. Was it her ghost? I don’t believe in ghosts, really. Kind of wish I did. She’d be a mischievous one, no doubt. Is it always 5:57am, when I awake? The same time. Time to find your dead child.
I’m often in the house alone, now. They didn’t want to leave me alone, and there were so many people in the house, for ages. Then all of a sudden, it stopped. And I changed lovers... I changed to the one I’d been in love with for over a year, the one who seemed too young, the one who wasn’t interested. Suddenly he was interested. Well. It wasn’t sudden. It took a few weeks. Seven weeks? The seven week itch? It coincided with when the Scottish lover asked me to stop letting other people come to the house. He wanted me to himself. Which is kind of fair enough, though I knew it wouldn’t last anyway. (People coming to my house, I mean, not the relationship. I really enjoyed having a relationship with him. He is very sweet, funny, intelligent, and kind. The sex was great. He can cook wonderful food and play guitar well. I liked to sing with him. I am ashamed to say I was bothered by his being smaller than me, though. His face tended to itch me, too- he never quite grew a beard long enough to stop that. As he kept shaving it off, not because he couldn’t. That was the first time he kind of annoyed me, though.)
Lockdown doesn’t help, of course. We were all breaking rules in our grief. Covid is cancelled, my mother said. Masks off. Hugs all round. A friend told me you need extra oxytocin when you’re grieving. I was getting plenty of it. Good grief...
Now I am frequently alone, and as my new lover is very busy studying (or perhaps less interested in me again now that he has my attention back? Though his reticence in getting with me stemmed from his concerns about the uneven nature of our interest in each other...) I haven’t seen him all week. I feel myself becoming depressed, and withdrawn, and paranoid, yet I still don't feel particularly sad about my daughter’s death. Which is strange. Isn’t it? Here is the email I received from her school this morning (it had her name and class at the top of the email):
“Good morning
I hope this email finds you all well.
A number of years ago I signed the college up to the campaign against period poverty. I receive and distribute sanitary products to girls, primarily on free school meals, but any who are in need of the products and either can’t afford them or it is difficult to get them. The products are normally distributed by myself, during P.E and games, unfortunately this can’t happen at present.
These products are still available during the school closure. If you wish to avail of them, please contact our school info account (which is only read by one member of office staff) your request will be directed to me and I will contact you directly regarding collection.
These are difficult times for many at present and to quote my favourite supermarket, ‘every little helps’.
Kind regards...”
I was really with her until she quoted Tesco. And said they were her favourite!! Ugh! I mean, it really is a great idea. Though they really should check if the people they are writing about are still capable of bleeding. My heart bleeds....
I replied thus:
“Hello there.
Great idea, but as (my youngest daughter) has died, she won't be needing them any more. I hate Tesco- they ruin many little businesses.
Maybe take me off this mailing list?”
Then I attached one of her seven suicide notes: the one for school. Which I had previously not shown them. I only found it on Christmas Eve. Can I attach it, here? It has no names...
There we are. Is it wrong of me to find her notes amusing? She is so angry, people say. I wonder how much of it is literal, and how much of it is using the school as a big nameless scapegoat. She was funny in the rest of them, too, and very loving. I found them comforting, like a fucked up Christmas present.
Then I started reading articles about suicide, and they were about how we shouldn’t call the people who do it selfish, about how depressed they are, how they need pity, not anger. I’m tired of the pity (though I’m not the suicidal one). I’m not producing enough sadness from myself when people pity me, either. Where is my sadness? Am I too acceptant of it all? We are all going to die. Is suicide like a C-section? Is it cheating death, like I thought my Caesareans cheated birth? Is suicide self euthanasia? Why do I not miss my daughter more? Is it because she had already left? Was she released, happy, free as a bird, swooping away on an Awfully Big Adventure? Trapezing her way into the æther? I googled to see if I could find any positive reactions to suicide. Is this my nature, to try and find the good in everything? To try and make light of the horrific? Is everything a joke to me?
I found this blog post, from Andreas Moser.
I love it. Am I trying to take the blame away from myself? The NHS? The school? Should I be reeling and railing against the systems that let my daughter get into that state? Why am I instead trying to find ways to applaud her behaviour, accept it, even enjoy it?! When I read his words, “I admire their courage (because logical as it may be, it’s not easy) and the determination to make the ultimate decision in life oneself.” I felt a strange sensation of relief, that someone else could think those things. I had been thinking them, but trying not to, because it seemed like such an awful thing to think. But then I think, why does anyone else have to be to blame? It was her decision.
The book I was rereading is called Life After Life, by Kate Atkinson. It’s my favourite book, I have decided, for now. Do favourites stay favourites? I was looking at my old Couchsurfing Profile today (because of Andreas’ blog- he, as a hippy hermit, is, of course, on Couchsurfing). One needs to update these every so often. Explain that you have watched another film in the last twenty years, that there is one less sofa in your living room, one less child on your earth. Even though no-one is allowed to move around, really. No visiting. No exploring. Perhaps she killed herself to escape the boredom.
In Life After Life, the main character, Ursula, lives again and again. (I forgot that to live again and again, she had to die again and again. It's a very sad and graphic book, spanning two wars- read it. It is, ultimately, uplifting.) I wanted to read it again to make my daughter live again, and again. We need to write her alive. Show her drawings and paintings. Listen to her songs (they're hilarious). Read her poems. Admire her photographs. Tell the stories of her antics.
I know that really she was actually depressed and withdrawn. I know it isn’t a glorious escape. That her wee head was broken, and that sometimes it’s just easier to say, it was unfixable, she was determined, this is what she wanted, than to contemplate it as my (or anyone else’s) failure to help her. I know that she used to be confident and gregarious. She would have danced in front of people, inspiring others. She was always upside-down, tumbling, twirling, cartwheeling. She had a dry, cheeky wit, and rather an amusing obsession with poo and wee. She was kind, and wise. She liked to bake vegan treats. She could draw, and paint, and sing so beautifully. She played the ukelele, but by then she was hiding away. She had started to write poems- songs? She wouldn’t show us them. We had to beg her to perform on the trapeze for her Granny’s eightieth, in July. She did so, beautifully, but you could tell she hated the attention. Four months later, she hanged herself on it.
Had we all withdrawn into ourselves, this 2020? Was there really nothing else to do? Yet I remember the start of Lockdown seeming idyllic. All that free time, all that sunshine. Was I just trying to convince myself, as usual? The only people we saw were the Woodcarver and the neighbours. She taught the wee boy next door to ride his unicycle. When she died, he brought in a picture he had drawn, of them on their unicycles, she as an angel above herself, a rainbow arcing over the three figures. His sadness affected me. I felt like I could only be sad through other people. Where is my sadness? Where is my grief? Good grief, bad grief, no grief? Alternatives to grief.
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Hello there! Could you write an obsessive yandere jungkook (who has an oppa kink) stalking his mechanic crush (that’s younger than him) and wondering what she keeps her so busy whenever he asks to hang out with her and come to find out, she turns out to be a yandere too after placing tracking devices in the majority of his posessions? This doesn’t make any sense tbh T^T
Hidden Blessing
✂ Pairing: Yandere! Jeon Jeongguk x Yandere! Reader
✂ Word Count: 1,7k+
✂ Trigger Warning: Obsessiveness, toxic relationship, stalking, reader being a yandere for the first time
✂ This story is fictional and for amusement only. I don’t believe any of the members would do this in real life. As always, thank you for reading and I hope you have a good day!
Donot re-upload my writing to another website or use it without mypermission.
[Edited]
***
Yandere reader, huh? I’ve certainly never tried this before, but I do think about it once in a while. And also, I don’t know much about mechanical stuffs. So, pardon me if this came out strange and Jungkook wasn’t obsessive enough. I feel a bit tired recently.
If you like mywriting, please support me on ko-fi!
“I want you to want me. I need you to need me. I’d love you to love me. I’m beggin’ you to beg me.” – I Want You To Want Me [Cheap Trick]
[11.25 am] Jungkook: Hi, wanna hang out today? :)
Seen.
[12.10 pm] You: Hey~! Sorry, oppa. I’m busy today. Maybe tomorrow??
Seen.
[12.11 pm] Jungkook: Oh, okay then. Don’t forget to text me, kay? ;)
Seen.
Declined. Again.
Jungkook sucked a breath through his gritted teeth and threw the device in frustration. On to the bed, of course, because he couldn’t afford to break his precious phone. It was the only way he could contact you outside the campus, being a broke college student he was.
It was a hassle, having to text you first just to hang out together. Sometimes he wished he was more than a senior to you – more than someone you occasionally met in a passing – so he could freely visit you anytime he wanted.
But you never thought of him that way, did you?
Sighing, Jungkook plopped on the edge of the bed and rested his forehead against his palms. The urge to ‘claim’ you had never been this strong ever since you started declining his invitations. Jungkook didn’t understand what went on in your life until you couldn’t possibly spare an hour or so to hang out together. Yeah, everyone had their own businesses to deal with, but surely it wouldn’t hurt to spend a bit more time for him? He never asked much besides your company, and now you were too ‘busy’ to do that.
Or maybe he could come to your apartment and pretended to help you with whatever you were working on…?
No, he shook his head. That would be rude of him to show up in your doorstep unannounced. He should’ve waited a little longer. Didn’t you tell him that you would text him again tomorrow? Well, you didn’t since you only saw his message, but that counted as one right?
God, how did a simple hangout could be this complicated? Why couldn’t you just agree to his fucking invitation? Didn’t you know that he couldn’t be away from you for too long?
Jungkook simpered bitterly. Of course, you didn’t. You were too busy to notice that, anyway.
Well, there was no need to stress himself even more. You already promised him that you would hang out tomorrow, and Jungkook planned on keeping that promise.
Tomorrow…
In less than twenty-four hours, he would be able to be with you. Laughing, chatting, eating, touching. All the affectionate things that only lovers could do.
Lovers, not friends.
Boyfriend, not senior.
Jungkook grinned giddily and rested his head on the pillow. Staring up the plain ceiling, he imagined you laying on top of him with that angelic smile of yours. Your hand stroked his cheek tenderly, [e/c] eyes admiring the dark constellation that scattered around his face as he did yours. Then, after you finished marveling at each other, you would slowly lean down. Jungkook closed his eyes, pressing himself further into the bed.
However, instead of the kiss that would take his breath away or make him see the stars, only cold air greeted his lonely lips.
Fluttering his eyes open, Jungkook sighed in disappointment.
When would the day come until those imaginations materialize right in front of his sight like he always dreamed of?
***
You didn’t text.
Jungkook had waited and waited, since this morning, for the anticipated message. Permission from you. However, even after the hours fleeted to noon, his phone still showed your selfie that he secretly saved as his lock screen a few days ago.
Did you forget about your promise? Did you forget about him already? No, you didn’t. You must be doing something and you probably were waiting for the right time to text him.
No, he refused to believe that you forgot about your promise or him. You weren’t that cruel, right?
Then, why did you still haven’t send him a single message? It didn’t matter if it was a curt ‘yes’, Jungkook would still be happy. But apparently, you opted to ignore him instead.
Maybe you didn’t care about him as much as he liked to believe. Maybe it was all just his imagination, yet again. Maybe he had tricked himself into thinking that you cared about him.
Maybe you had been leading him on all along, and he was just too stupid to realize it now.
Gritting his teeth, Jungkook thrashed his room like a madman on the loose. After all the things he had done to gain your attention, after all the money he had spent for you to the point of near poverty, you had the guts to lead him on? What kind of a man did you take him for?!
You were a brave one, he admitted. No, not brave. Bold would be a perfect word to describe your attitude. Jungkook might have fallen head over heels to you, but it didn’t mean he would let himself be made a fool. Especially to some weak, lovely woman.
A glint in the upper corner of his closet caught his attention. It was tiny enough that he would have missed it, but somehow, his senses increased during his mini rampage. Perhaps, it was a sign from the above that his current situation wasn’t a predicament at all. Either way, Jungkook was glad that he noticed that alien thing.
Because he soon discovered that it was, in fact, a camera. And the flickering light indicated that it was on and recording.
Jungkook inspected its shiny appearance, face stony. It seemed brand new, from the looks of it. He was entirely clueless about that fact, but he knew that he should do the thing he had been procrastinating until now.
Cleaning.
Grabbing the cleaning equipment, Jungkook began to clear up the mess that littered around his room whilst searching for other hidden cameras. He found many tracking devices concealed in his bags, hoodies, the back pockets of his pants, and snapbacks. Dark was certainly Jungkook’s favorite color, thus camouflaging those devices that were also dark in color. They were active, as seen from the red lights that flickered intermittently. Aside from that, the stalker must have known that he tended to be careless.
But the question was, who would stalk him? There was nothing remarkable from him. Sure, he had a handsome, boyish face and bunny-like teeth that many people found a charm in. However, he wasn’t the only person who possessed such features. His grades weren’t high enough to attract attention, too. Average enough to pass the tests, yet not enough to be the top-third.
All in all, Jungkook was a normal college student that liked to procrastinate and played video games until late at night. Oh, and a normal guy that had a seemingly unrequited ‘crush’ on his junior.
“I want to be an artisan someday. I just like creating things, you know? Especially electronics devices, such as cameras and the like…”
You. You were his stalker. Oh God, how did this happen? Since when have you been stalking him? He thought you weren’t interested in him. And how did you manage to slip those–
“Glad to know that I’m not the only messy one here, Oppa. Don’t worry, I won’t judge!”
Jungkook’s tensed shoulders slowly slackened as the epiphany dawned on him.
“[Name], I’m gonna go to the bathroom for a bit.”
“Sure! I’ll look around in the meantime. Don’t pee on the floor, ‘kay?”
Happiness erupted within his swelling chest and manifested itself with a smile that became wider in each second. Jungkook didn’t know why he felt this way when he was supposed to be creeped out at the fact that you had stalked him for a month now. But one thing for sure was that his feelings and efforts weren’t waste in vain. In fact, you had been secretly reciprocating them by ‘keeping an eye’ on him.
You had been appointing yourself as his bodyguard, and Jungkook couldn’t be any happier.
What did he do to deserve such an attentive woman like you? He felt like the luckiest guy in the world, even though you both had yet to get married.
But there was no need to rush, now that he knew about your love for him. Jungkook always noticed that despite your playful attitude, you had a difficulty in expressing true feelings. And while he was a little disappointed that he only realized them just a few seconds ago, he understood and appreciated your efforts. Little things were what he cherished the most, although he certainly wouldn’t mind if you showed more forthright and grand gestures.
Whatever suited you better; Jungkook already accepted you as a whole, anyway.
The screen of his phone suddenly lit up, displaying the very name he had been waiting to see. Swiping the green button upwards, he put the phone near his ear.
“Hello?”
“Oppa! Oh, God. I’m so sorry I forgot to text you!” Your frantic, yet heavenly voice filled his hearing. “I was so busy watching and–”
“I know,” Jungkook beamed, gazing out of the window. The sky was cloudy, and there were already several drops of water against the windowpane. Yet, an inexplicable warmth filled his heart as he listened to your sputtering across the call. “You were watching me, weren’t you?”
“W-what? Of course not! What are you talking about, Oppa?” you tittered and tried to cover up the truth, but Jungkook knew better. Besides, you weren’t very good at lying, anyway.
“Don’t worry, I won’t judge.” He used your own words to see if you were able to catch the hint. “Glad to know that I’m not the only one who works hard here. Thank you, by the way. I was surprised to see that camera inside my closet.”
“Oppa, can we go out?”
You sounded weary, and Jungkook didn’t like it. Not one bit. So, to cheer you up, he decided to say the sentence that you probably wanted him to say.
The three words that he had been yearning to say.
The three words that would change your lives drastically, either for the best or the worst.
For other people, it would certainly be the worst. But for him, it would be best. Because life with you was heaven in itself.
“I love you.”
There was a momentary silence before you replied in a soft voice. The kind of voice whose speaker had already surrendered to their fate, yet couldn’t have it any other way.
Because this was for the better.
“I love you too, Oppa.”
Satisfaction colored the happiness in his smile as he realized that hidden blessings existed in every kind of predicament. He just needed to look deeper and be patient.
For he would reap what he sow.
#yandere bangtan sonyeondan#yandere bts#yandere kpop#yandere jeon jeongguk#yandere jeongguk#yandere jungkook#yandere jungkook x reader#yandere jeongguk x reader#yandere jeon jungkook x reader#kpop yandere#yandere kpop au#yandere bts au#yandere bts one shot#yandere bts story#jungkook x reader#Jeongguk x Reader#jeon jeongguk x reader#yandere kpop story#kpop yandere story#kpop yandere au#anon#request#yandere request
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Another set of responding to asks lol.. As usual I have them numbered and will also write out the ask in the text, especially since the screencaps are all blurry and taken at various times/compiled together badly and probably hard to read ghghhggh..... answers under the read more ~
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1. "Hi I don't mean to bother you at all, but I was wondering where you get your rocking horse shoes? (I think thats what they're called) I've been looking everywhere and I can't seem to find any :(( "
I don’t entirely remember, since I got them like 6 or 7 years ago.. I think maybe at some point that place ‘bodyline’ or something had some cheap ones? But I don’t see them on the site anymore, they were like $50 or $60. Now when I google it I can only find these insane like $600 ones from vivian westwood or whoever, or ones that are platform shoes but not necessarily the same type. Maybe you could find some on aliexpress or ebay or something? Usually you have to use weirdly specific search terms and look for a while, but you can often find stuff like that on those sites. Sorry I couldn’t be of more help!!!
2. "I've been sick for over a month and my doctor tested me - everything came back fine. After some discussion it appears that my ptsd symptoms came back and the stress on my body is making me fatigued, sick and dizzy. I don't want to say that this could be similar to you situation, but if you have a therapist or someone to talk to about any stresses/your sickness, it might help relieve the pressure a bit. Good luck, I'm so sorry you feel so unwell"
Thank you for sharing! Yeah, I think stress definitely plays a part in why I feel sick so often. Currently I’m not still having the same problem I was having a few months ago when you sent this, so that’s good at least!!
3. “Hi! Do you plan to ever have more sculptures for sale? Or would you do commissions? I haven't seen any in a while but wanted to buy one! :-O”
I have plenty that I want to sell, I guess it’s just hard for me to get set up. Since so much of the reason I procrastinate selling stuff is because I hate the stress of deciding on a price, I’ve thought for a while now that maybe I can just auction them (so I just set a base price, but people bid whatever they feel is fair and I don’t have to decide myself). But I’m just not sure of a good way to do that.. Ebay has auctions, but I don’t want random strangers buying them, I’d rather stick to just the pool of people who follow my art blog and are already familiar with my sculptures or etc. I could do them on here ?? (like, ‘reply to this post to bid, bids close 8am EST, whoever said the highest number sends the money through paypal and then I send the sculpture’ sort of thing???) But I’m not sure if it’s legal to sell stuff through tumblr, or if there could be any other problems with doing it so ‘unofficially’ like that.. I don’t know, I have a vague idea, I’m just having trouble deciding the best way to set up something! I do want to sell some soon though, if I live through the pandemic and anything ever goes back to normal, of course (I wouldn’t want to be having to leave the house to ship stuff in the mail right now).
As for commissions, I have actually done sculpture commissions for friends a few times, so I feel confident-ish that I’d be able to do something like that, but I also wouldn’t want to get overwhelmed since it takes a lot of work. Custom sculptures may also be more expensive, and again.. I always feel guilty and strange about pricing. I’ve thought about doing very limited sculpture commissions though (like, maybe just one at a time, first come first serve or something..?). If it seems like there’s actual interest in that sort of thing, I could definitely consider doing it in the future!
4. " *picks up that smol blue kid and throws them across the room* "
ghgh .. the smallness is an advantage... they could just skitter back down your arm like a tiny squirrel the second you tried to pick them up.. Ythrili survival strategy is to be too small to catch in the first place
(also forgive every sketch in this post, my screen that you can draw on broke, so I’m either drawing stuff in ms paint with a mouse, or drawing stuff on paper and coloring it in firealpaca also with a mouse ghghh.. not going to look Good)
5. "it sounds like you feel pressure to only post good content on the internet, and so you end up psyching yourself out of posting at all. Am I on the right track? "
Not necessarily, like I mentioned in the tags I think it’s more just that everything is complicated by my brain. I can’t just do something effortlessly. Whether it’s for an audience or not, I get caught up on every little detail and adding so much complexity to everything that all tasks take me longer than they take other people lol. I think I just tend to take everything very seriously??
Like for example, I’m often accused of ‘turning things into a discussion’ when someone was just intending to make an off-handed remark, because if someone is bringing up a topic to discuss, I end up engaging with it 100% and putting full effort into it, and it’s hard for me to be ‘’casual’’ about pretty much anything (so if someone was like ‘My day yesterday was a bit weird’ I wouldn’t be able to just respond ‘aw man, that sucks’, I would just be like ‘Weird how? what happened? what made it weird? Are you okay now? Are things still weird? Have you found a solution?’ etc. etc.). I was also bad at essays/open answer questions in school (despite usually being great at the class otherwise), because no matter how hard I tried to filter my speech and cut things out, I was always far too long-winded and would get almost too engaged with the topic and lose the clear cut thought organization and focus that you’re supposed to have I guess. Even like, playing video games or something that’s supposed to be relaxing, I can’t just ‘jump into them’ and do whatever, usually any game I play (large ones at least, small 25 minute point and click adventure games don’t count of course), I have 7 - 10 pages of notes, do hours of research, look up most of the main spoilers, plan out and organize exactly how I’m going to play it and this and that, etc. lol...
So, that personality trait carries over into posting things online as well, I can’t just type something out quickly and hit ‘post’ without a second thought. Social media is hard for me because you’re supposed to use it casually, but I spend a long time re-reading drafted posts, thinking about them, etc. etc., and end up never actually getting around to posting anything. It’s not that I’m perfectionist about it and want it to be ‘good’ or appear a certain way, it’s just that my mind becomes preoccupied with things I guess. I’m a natural information gatherer, part of my natural way of processing things is to learn everything possible before acting, and I want to make sure I’ve fully thought about everything always, and know as much as I can (so I wouldn’t want to publicly say something without giving it a lot of consideration first, or post a picture without really thinking about if I want to post it, what my reasons behind posting it are (like if I’m posting something just for a validation of a certain aspect of myself VS. genuinely because I like it, etc.), if a few months from now I’ll still like that I posted it, etc. lol.. even with like silly cat photos or something, I have to analyze it and be like ‘hmm.. will I still stand by this picture in 4 months? why am I posting it publicly vs, just keeping it privately to myself on my computer? what’s important about it?’ etc. etc. ghgjhgjh.. like.. shut up lol.)
ANYWAY, yeah, I don’t know if it’s about wanting online content to be “good”, as much as it’s just like... I take everything way too seriously and am detail-oriented, contemplative, and analytical to a fault, which means it just takes me 10x longer to do basic ‘’simple’’ things that it would for other people. Though I can still be quite quick-thinking and decisive (I don’t often waver back and forth between things too long), it’s usually because I have years of thinking about the same exact things behind me, so I already am very clear on my opinions on stuff, to a point. But when it’s new things I’m less familiar with (like playing a new game, or posting regularly online), I’m still in a phase where I guess I have to give it a lot of thought. I just process things in a different way than other people I guess? Or have some inherent inability to be brief/concise/careless? If you’ve ever read any of my worldbuilding posts (where I usually start off wanting to explain one thing but then have to derail into 400 other misc. details and explanations and it ends up being a novel), then maybe it’s more evident what I mean, where it’s just like... my natural manner of speaking is Too Much.. I guess? Even this answer is winding and rambly, and I feel like other people could have answered this ask in only a few sentences lol..
If any of that makes sense? I don’t know how to describe how I am lol.. I just know it's hard to me to use social media in this ~~casual effortless~~ way most people seem to, since my brain is just inherently incapable of anything ‘’casual’’ or ‘’effortless’’ lol.. T u T ;;
6. " Hi! I hope this isn't weird to say, I'm designing a race for my DND campaign and some of the aesthetics are a little bit inspired by some of your costumes and makeup designs. You're awesome and your art is awesome so thanks : ) "
Thanks so much, I appreciate it! It’s always cool to hear I can inspire people~
(I usually don’t include many compliments in these ask compilation posts, but I always try to include a few, just to let people know that even if I don’t respond to all of them I do see them, and appreciate it!)
7. ???
I ended up cropping out this ask and not answering because some of the content was questionable (the reason WHY/how they wanted to make the character) in a way that I didn’t feel like getting into a long thing about, but part of it was relevant to making OCs in my world, so I will just make a quick comment:
I do state that this is a closed world, so I don’t want anyone making OCs of my species or etc. at least not at this point. Once my game is finished (if ever lol), or I write a few books or something, then I feel it would be understandable if people like, made up a background story for their player character and thus maybe could have some form of OC in my world and etc.. So I may be more relaxed on this in the future as I create content that people naturally would want to engage with , but for now, I’m still a very tiny creator with a closed world and it just doesn’t feel the same as like.. making an oc based on some thing in a big TV series or something. My worldbuliding and etc. is still very personal to me. Unless we’re directly collaborating on things (like mentioned here (link) a bit), or you’re a personal friend of mine who’s gotten involved in the world with my own guidance (meaning I could tell you lore things you’d need to know to make it accurate, etc.), then I don’t feel it’s appropriate for strangers to do at this point.
Especially since I don’t even have enough world info out for people to be able to reference (most species have half-complete guides, I’ve only ever talked about like, one continent, etc.). There are so many necessary details which I have only in my head and have never typed out, so again, idk, it’d just be weird. I’m not okay with it until I have a lot more lore published, and maybe a few actual works out there that people can reference/stories/games/basis for OCs to exist in the first place. If that makes sense?
8. "Hey, is it ok to use your outfit posts as inspiration for a dnd character? I love them so much, you have such a unique way of combining crazy patterns and fabrics into something that gives off a good vibe”
Yes, that would be fine! Thank you for asking, and I appreciate the compliments~ Hopefully I can get back to posting that sort of thing more often lol.. I’ve gotten WAY off my routine and haven’t done many outfits lately.. aaa
9. "hi Luca! i just wanted to say i really love all of your costumes and fashions and dress ups, its all so cool and pretty and interesting. i actually wanna dress up for fun for myself, and now that i know about the bins i think i'll try to convince my mom to take me to similar places for cheap clothing pieces, since my mom is worried about how much all this costume stuff costs. anyway, please keep posting your cool and beautiful stuff! "
Thank you so much! I wish you luck with your costumes! Yeah, I think there’s a common idea in a lot of fashion communities (like with makeup, costumes, etc.) that you have to always have high quality things to look nice, and even if sometimes you can do more with a little extra money, really you can make anything look good with what you have if you just combine it right. As I’ve always been quite low income, being into fashion and stuff has be discouraging at times, that I couldn’t afford certain materials or items, but you just have to find a niche where what you’re able to do works. For example, a lot of even ‘cheap’ lolita style clothings are too expensive for me (like $30 - $50 for a dress??? then the more pricey ones can be over $100???) lol.. BUT, then stuff like mori kei, cult party kei, fantasy costumes, etc. you can do with nearly any fabric you can find, and it’s still just as fun and creative. Most of the outfits I take pictures of probably cost me no more than $1 - $10 for every single item combined. Obviously it depends on location - I have better access now that I live near a place like the bins, which I understand there may not be similar resources in small towns or etc. But even with generic thrift stores (which may not be as cheap as the bins), you can still find pretty good alternatives to all the money it costs to buy things brand new. There’s still some stuff I legit just can’t do because I don’t have access to the materials, but for the most part I can manage everything I’d like with $3 eye-shadows and 15 cent tattered curtain fabrics lol. You can still do really cool stuff on a pretty nonexistent budget!
10. “do you have any tips on growing your hair long? is it expensive to up keep? i wanna grow mine out but it grows so slow!”
Well, I know nothing about hair and am not a hair stylist or etc. so I really don’t have any tips lol?? And I think hair maintenance depends a lot on the type of hair you have, not everyone’s is the same. I assume we must have similar hair (my natural hair is thick kind of coarse very dark brown/black hair, which is a bit wavy in some parts but mostly straight, but most of my hair currently (aside from the overgrown roots at the top) is altered because of damage from bleaching and etc., it’s more brittle. so that’s what I’ll be referencing) if you’re asking me this instead of someone else, but just know that whatever I say may not apply to you.
Anyway, I really don’t do anything to my hair to make it grow or etc., it’s just that I’ve gone a long time without cutting it lol. I used to cut it all the time or change styles, and now I’ve kind of just left it for 5 or 6 years or so. Because of my mental illness I have trouble maintaining personal care and etc., so I do sometimes go a week or more without washing it, even though I’m trying to work that into my schedule more (luckily I don’t have stinky head, I’ve heard some people’s scalp oils and stuff can smell weird if left for too long, I have the privilege of being able to like.. skip on hygiene a lot without it severely impacting my ability to do things or etc. since it’s usually not obvious if I haven’t bathed in a week or two).
My cat also EATS HUMAN HAIR for some reason, so I have to keep it up all the time, so that when I shed it doesn’t actually just fall loose onto the ground lol. Literally all I do to my hair is just keep it in two braids at all times and wash it with normal shampoo and conditioner occasionally, when I can. I really only think it’s gotten long because I’ve been leaving it alone and not messing with it, not really because of anything I’ve done (like I don’t use fancy products on it or etc.) And because of that, no, it’s not really expensive! It absolutely WOULD be if I were like..a normal functioning person and I regularly bleached it and dyed it and put products on it and styled it and used shampoo and conditioner every 1-3 days on it and etc. lol.. But I guess because I don’t do anything to it to maintain it, I’m not spending money on hairspray or dye or shampoo or etc. I used to bleach it a lot and straighten it and use hairspray and stuff on it, and it seems healthier (at least on the new top parts) now that I’m just ... ignoring it basically lol. But I don’t really know what to do to make it grow faster! I’m bad at self-care, and even if I do costumes and stuff, I really am not into beauty and hair and nails and makeup and stuff, so I’m probably the wrong person to ask hghjhb.. My upkeep routine is just... eat and sleep. wash face with water daily.. do extra stuff if you can manage to despite your functioning issues, etc. I’m definitely not a Beauty Advice person, I barely brush my hair even once a week lol
11. "Maybe you should reduce the number of races if it's too overwhelming? A world can still be immersive with only a few races in it."
(sidenote - Not to be nitpicky, but I make a specific point that the groups of fantasy creatures I create are species, not ‘’races’’, even though it is a commonly used term in fantasy worldbuilding, I think it’s inaccurate/weird )
I know I don’t have to make so many different groups, but, I guess I just really want it to be a broad setting. Part of the point in creating Nanyevimi (aside from worldbuilding just being extremely fun and a hobby greatly suited to someone with my personality traits lol) is to have an established world that I can do anything within, a framework already built where it'd be super easy to just drop a character anywhere on the map and already have an idea of what their culture, background, experiences, etc. would be based on pre-existing details about that portion of the world, etc. But I also want it to be broad, and varied, where every area kind of has it’s own dynamics going on there, so if you’re in a different place, you get a different kind of story. (like in an elven alliance city, you’d be better suited to tell an adventure story centering around complicated local politics, or city life, or etc.. whereas out in some isolated mountains in the south, it’d be more suited for a mystery story about stumbling across ancient ruins, or running into a mysterious traveler, etc.)
Which I guess doesn’t matter much, since I'm better at setting, world design, character design, planning, and details than I am at plot, so I probably won’t actually ever do anything with it (god forbid I tried to write a book or something with my utter inability to be concise/brief in any imaginable way). I can craft settings/characters/history/world-details all day endlessly, never losing inspiration or etc, but my weak point is actually telling stories within those settings and formulating a solid plan, organizing plot structures long term and etc.. Setting up everything for something to happen/creating a place where many interesting premises could occur is fine, but then actually thinking of how those things should OCCUR, or how the set up should play out, is where I get kind of lost. I guess the ideal at some point would be to have people working with me, helping when writing stories in my world/outlining games/etc, to add more cohesion/structure and reign in the unfocused stream of ideas, but that’s very unlikely since I don’t have any close friends that are good at organizing or plotting either, etc. BUT anyway, even if I can’t ever manage to do anything with it, the whole “having a setting I can use for anything I want if anything ever comes up, which is already established and thus makes it much easier to formulate ideas because all the background work is already done for myself” thing is at least a nice goal.. in concept...theoretically lol..
And, it’s not really too overwhelming, I think the overwhelming part is actually just formatting and producing those ideas in a consumable form. It’s not hard for me to keep track of 20 different groups and make backgrounds and every imaginable detail for them, but it IS hard to actually take all that information that exists in my head, type it out as a worldbuilding post, format and organize it, draw pictures to go with it, etc. If I could just post long stream of consciousness style 300,000 word long posts with no paragraph breaks, 4000 typos, barely any punctuation, etc., then I’d have A LOT more world-building info publicly available (since that’s what all the initial documents on my computer look like lol), but that’s just so inaccessible it’d be pointless to have public in the first place. The hard part isn’t really coming up with or managing the information, it’s just... organizing it all, and finding a way to share it.
12. "oh PLEASE tell me what boing peach beverage the elf looks like"
a quick sketch of them.. mysterious peach (and other produce) salesman
13. "fun question: what are ur fashion pet-peeves?"
Well, basically none because I hate when people are rigid over Fashion Rules or etc. Like, people who take pictures of others in public because they “look weird” , or who constantly trash on what people are allowed to wear, what patterns can be mixed with others, etc. etc. I get that some stuff can look kind of bad sometimes, and it’s not that I think nobody is allowed to criticize fashion trends or etc. (especially if they’re legitimately problematic, like of course someone wearing a homophobic t-shirt or doing blackface should be criticized), but I mean just like... that sort of trivial bitter criticism that doesn’t do anything but make people feel bad about the way they look or make them afraid to dress in ways they feel comfortable. Like taking a picture of someone and posting it online to make fun of them because they wore socks with sandals, or bullying 14 year olds who just started doing makeup and haven’t totally gotten their look sorted out yet, etc. etc. (ESPECIALLY since this can often intersect with classism, racism, etc. if you really examine what people mock as 'ugly' or 'unacceptable' styles, it's often stuff like men wearing dresses/makeup, women not shaving, clothing associated with poverty (like wearing “”cheap”” clothes), physical traits commonly associated with poc, making fun of people who look a certain way likely due to mental illness (like fidgeting, dirty mismatched clothing, carrying stuffed animals or comfort items in public etc.), etc. etc.
I find costumes and makeup and outfits to be a very cool and fun way to express myself. So when people are complete freaks about it and set out to just relentlessly make others feel bad for no good reason, it’s like... obnoxious... How can you take something with so much potential and limit it and close others off and turn it into this rigid hateful thing, when it should be something that everyone is able to be passionate about and appreciate?? Outside appearance isn't everything, but it's a tool of expression for so many people and can relate to who they are as a person, people should never feel uncomfortable to be who they are or look how they look just because some dumbass rich person writing for a style magazine has the gall to declare some random thing to be 'Unfashionable' despite not having a genuinely creative bone in their body, or some bigot thinks that certain things are ‘ugly’ or ‘unprofessional’ due to their own mental associations, etc.
But anyway, I guess if I had to choose a few things that I just think look kind of odd to me personally/are generally off-putting...
--- the overdrawing lips thing when you can see the persons actual lip-line and it almost looks like they have two mouths or something? (if not done intentionally for costume makeup). It can look a little strange to me sometimes, like an optical illusion where you see multiple mouth lines at once?? idk like this?
--- freckles that are just round circles and really heavy and don’t look realistic (though again, I also realize this could just be the person’s first time drawing them on or something and I’m not mocking for lack of skill, etc. I just mean that it’s a little strange to look at, not actually BAD though) (and it can also be intentional, like for a cartoony costume look) ---- People adopting cutesy/childlike fashion and clothing and sexualizing it or using it as part of their sex/kink stuff.. I just feel like anything associated with children should not be sexualized..? If the first thing someone thinks when seeing children's school uniforms or frilly little girl’s doll dresses or whatever is that it could be a Hot Thing then hhh... like why is your brain making those connections lol.. People can dress how they want for whatever reasons they want, but that’s always personally creeped me out a little. Similar to our culture’s obsession with looking young being ‘hot’ (like a grown man wanting someone who’s a legal adult but still “looks 16″ or etc.), where it’s like.. okay, I guess yeah outwardly you can make that choice, and maybe aren’t directly causing harm, but.. the underlying tones of it and etc. still make it very unsettling to witness lol... ---- anything appropriated obviously, as well as fetishization or bastardization of cultures, like t-shirts with Japanese writing on them Just For Aesthetic, or taking certain culturally or religiously significant symbols or etc. and adopting them as ‘just a silly fashion’ thing when you’re actually being disrespectful, etc. ---- those shorts or whatever that go up extremely high on the hipbones always look a little weird to me lol, like they give a person funny proportions,
(you may have to right click open image in new window and zoom to see the text, but it’s like.. the blank space makes it look kind of weird to me? Like there’s too much where there’s just nothing going on? idk. That’s just my personal preference though, obviously I tend to lean towards busy designs lol)
That’s all I can think of though, like I said, I’m really not picky or judgy about fashion since I think people should be able to do whatever they want for the most part. I’m not like a “omg stripes should NEVER be worn with plaid!!” type person or something lol.
14. "Hey Luca! I love when you post about your world. Do you have a favorite species you've made up so far? Also, I hope you're holding up well during the crisis!"
AAaa thanks! I’m okay mostly. It’s distressing since because of my particular mental illness I already have constant paranoia and obsessions about health, so of course hearing about so much illness can be really triggering constantly and I’m preoccupied in never-ending anxiety spirals about mortality and etc. etc. etc. , but situationally, I’m just very thankful that nobody in my household has gotten sick yet and I desperately wish that will continue to be the case. *** *** ***
(ignore the *** *** *** , this is a text version of a physical compulsion (a hand movement) that I have to do when I mention certain topics lol.. the little man in my brain that controls my obsessive compulsive disorder says I must do certain things after saying or thinking certain things,, You Know How It Is )
And I really love worldbuilding questions, so thank you so much!!!!! Hghgh maybe it seems weird to favor any over the others, but of course I really like the Avirre'thel. Conceptually, I think their origin story and connection to ancient elves and their abilities and etc. put them in a really unique position in the broader world (some of the only truly immortal people to exist, the only people who can still decipher ancient elven texts in a way that makes sense, etc. etc.). Since Nanyevimi (my world) is really just a setting being built so that in the future I can set things within it (games, short stories, etc.), I think I'm drawn to the aspects of it that have the most potential to make interesting characters, and there are definitely a lot of pre-established dynamics with the Avirre'thel/in Navyete (their home country) as a whole that would make it an good place to set certain things, or a good group for a main character to be from, etc.
I do really like the Jhevona as a species overall too, even if I haven't developed them as much, they also kind of stand out as having some fairly unique features that put them in an interesting position in the world (being one of the most magically capable groups that exists but that also having downsides (health issues and infertility from magic exposure, etc.), how the necessity to keep control over their magic influences their culture, being some of the only natural shape-shifters, etc.). Within that, I REALLY love the Thastanri (a subspecies of Jhevona), like their connection to dreams, the Imkasyn, being one of the last few peoples in contact with real dragons, etc. etc. There are a lot of complex things going on in their area, so there’d be a lot of potential to tell a variety of stories or have interesting characters from that group.
AND, though it's supposed to be Unknown in the world so I won't talk about it just in case I ever write a book one day or something and need to preserve at least a FEW mysteries that I don't just outright explain in worldbuilding posts, Jhevona do have the most interesting origins of any species in my opinion. There are some things from before the timeline break sort of thing (where all recorded history was seemingly wiped and everyone had a big memory loss about 50,000 yrs ago) that people aren't aware of anymore... but Jhevona used to have a cool backstory and quite interesting function in society prior to that. There are some remnants in the genetics of the species and how their magic works (at least for certain groups) that kind of hint at how ancient Jhevona used to look and what they used to do, even though in the modern day things are very different.
15. "Top 10 songs you've been listening to lately?"
I don’t have a top 10 since I listen to everything for different reasons, and don’t have as deep a relationship with music the way some people do (like I don’t really have a favorite band or group I have a connection with that’s “gotten me through hard times”, or music I cry to/any songs that are specifically personally emotionally meaningful to me, etc., etc.), but here’s a quick playlist of a few favorite-ish things I’ve had in my head a lot recently -
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPmQ4SZdFFHNkgKo7nAiEMgVvLcycX5Qc
the last song on the list specifically I’ve been replaying a lot for some reason, I guess since it’s good background music as there’s no words. Particularly the part that starts around like 38 seconds in, something about that melody reminds me of something distant, in a dreamlike way. The past few days I mostly alternate between that song, Outstanding, and And The Beat Goes On lol
16. " Do you ever sell sculptures? I really like that little fawn!"
Yeah, I hope to eventually! Like I mentioned in question number three, if I can set up some sort of way to do auctions or etc, then maybe I can sell that one!
17 & 18 : '"aaa yay!! i missed your outfits!!!" / "can I just say love ur outfits! They're so cool and inspire me to draw my ocs with new outfits > o < and I love your cat too, please give him a big ol pat!"
Thank you!!!! more compliments posted just to show I appreciate them lol, even if I don’t publicly respond to every one~ And, the Boyes appreciate the pats.. here is them.. big babbeys...
#it bothers me still that I didn't take all the screenshots the same way and there's different colors of nu#mbers and etc. lol.... but some of those are from 4 months ago or more and I had already deleted the original ask#from my inbox so I can't go rescreencap it to match the others..#this is the issue inherent in taking so long to answer things that I just respond in large batches lol#replies#okay also I know it's been months but... one of you has to like this post or at least show you read/interacted with my#response somehow because I cannot spend like 4-5 hours typing stuff for others if nobody will read it ghghg#( i know i make it take longer by being rambly and etc. but.. still...)#I'm sorry they sat in my inbox a long time and etc. but... also..... my pwecious time and effort#i hope at least one of the people I'm responding to sees that i did indeed reply to them lol
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UPDATE: Please read (don’t worry it’s nothing bad I promise)
Okay I know I haven’t really posted anything, and yes I have been lurking on Tumblr for the last few weeks (maybe a month now? idk) but that was mostly to read salt fics and look at memes. Anyways, on to the important stuff. And by important, I mean this is just an update on what I’ve been doing and why there hasn’t been any new chapters which I’m so so so sorry for not uploading anything. BEWARE, this is a pretty long post (at least for me, it’s probably fine for everyone else lol)
First off, THANK YOU SO MUCH like holy shit I just noticed I had 200 followers and like oh my god that’s literally the most amount of followers I have ever gotten so tytytyty!
Secondly, I haven’t abandoned #notmychatnoir, more like I’ve been struggling to write chapter 4 the way I want to write it because suddenly everything I wrote in it so far has made me unhappy and I also realized that while I mentioned it, I never really showed the citizens and press (other than the miracuclass of course) being salty of Chat Noir themselves so I’ve been rearranging things and removing a few other things to save for either chapter 5 or 6. The only problem is I also want to make chapter 4 longer, even if only slightly, than the other chapters simply as an apology for taking so long to get it out.
I’ve also been debating with myself over the outline I came up with for the story, which is why I’m asking everyone now: What would you like to see in #notmychatnoir? I still plan on having Felinette fluff, and I will not be doing an Adrien redemption in this fic seeing as the whole point of this was to be super salty towards him, but if anyone has any ideas of what they wanna see then I promise that I will at least consider it. I make no promises of your ideas being added, but they will definitely be helpful.
As for K12, I had a complete outline of what I wanna do for each story, but I’ve been thinking about changing some of the stories before writing them. Most of the chapters I’ve already planned out for each song will still happen the way I want them to happen, but that’ll depend on what my hands decide to type lol. Also, I must remind everyone that most of the chapters are unconnected one-shots, with only a few of them being connected into their own stories. However, depending on how each one-shot ends, I might make a follow-up or aftermath of what happens. Keyword being might though, there’s no guarantee that I’ll actually do it if I can’t find the inspiration or if nobody has any specific requests for said aftermaths.
I would also like to know if anyone has any requests for K12. Specifically, any scenarios they would like to see play out? They have to fit with the song though (Class Fight, Detention, any K12 song I haven’t written and posted yet, which is literally everything but Wheels on the Bus as of right now lol). I also want to know if there are any pairings you would like to see, or any specific character being there for Marinette during whichever scenario either you, the readers or I, the writer, decide on. For example, the friend that gave me the idea for K12 in the first place wanted the Highschool Sweethearts chapter to have Marichat, IIRC.
You can reply in the comments or reblogs but it will be a lot easier for me, now that my notifications tend to blow up every now and then, if you simply sent an ask or a DM/PM regarding any requests you may have for #notmychatnoir, K12, or even if you want me to write a one-shot or drabble based on any scenario you may have in mind. For that last one though, I can’t promise I’ll be able to do all of your requests, much less perfectly and on time (because I’m still a teenager dealing with high school and family and procrastination in general), but I do promise that I will at least try.
Lastly, I don’t know if I mentioned it (I feel like I did) but if I didn’t then I planned on writing a somewhat salty, and bittersweet, one-shot based on Melanie Martinez’s song Pity Party. It’s gonna be Lukanette, and it was supposed to be out on my birthday but I didn’t finish in time nor did I finish in time for the other deadline I gave myself. However, I still planned on releasing that particular one-shot this year so I have been working on that for the last few weeks and I’d like to think it’s almost done. I’m not going to say you should get your hopes up, but, I do plan on finishing it before New Year’s eve. I will try to finish it tonight, in time for Christmas eve or Christmas itself, but I’ve learned that I shouldn’t try to give myself any specific deadlines so I make no promises but at least I’m trying to finish it. So, look forward to that! Or don’t, if Lukanette’s not your cup of tea, then that’s fine.
That was all for my fanfic-related updates. If you would like to read my short life update, then keep reading. If you don’t then that’s all for this post.
Life update: I’ve been officially on winter break since last Thursday (the 19th), and boy is the small freedom amazing lmao. This semester wasn’t exactly my best (specifically my geometry grades and just procrastination in general) but I at least managed to get an A in French and passed all of my final exams except for my Geometry final (although that didn’t surprise me because I was lucky enough to even get a D in that class as my overall grade for the semester).
So now that I don’t have to worry about school until the break is over, which won’t be until January 9th I think, either that or the 8th, I have slightly more free time on my hands that I’ve been spending just catching up on anime, sleep, and fanfics that I’ve been reading (and writing, of course). I’ve also spent most of my money on Persona 5 and Blazblue: Cross Tag Battle so I’ve been spending time playing both of those games as well. Spoiler alert: both of those games are amazing and I’m totally gonna buy that Neopolitan DLC eventually because she’s amazing and her Astral Finish is badass.
Also, even though I’ve been told that I shouldn’t try to grow up so fast, I’ve been thinking about getting a part-time job (because I can’t rely on monthly allowance and asking my mom for a loan forever, especially if I can’t even pay back that loan in time) and I also wanna learn how to drive so I’ve just been preparing myself for both important (to me at least) things.
Lastly (for real this time lol), one of my cousins is coming down to my city for a few days this week to celebrate his birthday which is great but also a perfect opportunity for me to spend more time with him and his brother because I feel like we’ve been growing apart and the fact that both of them are no longer single despite being the same age as me (heck, I’m the “middle child” out of the 3 of us lol) makes me feel really left out which is a big oof. So I’m looking forward to spending these next few days with them as well as finishing that one-shot I mentioned.
So yeah, life is gonna be somewhat hectic for me next year as I try to take baby steps into having a responsible life and be independent but overall it’s pretty good.
If you actually got this far into the post then thanks for reading about my life I guess lol.
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100 days to acnh challenge - 1 to 74
found this challenge and decided it would be a great way to pass the time until the release date, and a good way to get people to know me a lil better too c’: i feel so powerful starting at this point, there are so few days left to wait!
1. Do you prefer making up a new name for your villager, or using your own name? i never, ever used my own name... i always felt like this would be boring, and i kinda want to give myself the opportunity to create a new “character” based on the events that happen to them in the game... (my first character in wild world was named Scarlet :^)) 2. Do you use the first map you’re given, or do you reset for layouts? i am bige resetter with bige plans all jokes aside i am way too indecisive and spent way too much time on this, i would even check people’s dream towns prior to resetting to gather ideas and fresh input on this. though usually, each time i remade my town i had a specific kind of map in mind? most of all, i like having a secluded nice little corner to put my house (being able to move your house in nh is a game changer honestly!) grass type and colors of buildings also matter. residents not so much because, hey, i can also reset for that later! (i am terrible) 3. Do you use the face you’re given, or do you wait for guides and choose your favourite? similarly, i use a guide. i think the only times i didn’t was my first times in wild world where i didn’t really have access to a fast internet connection :’^) (guess what i am also indecisive about this! my most used are the classic arched villager eyes, the almond shaped ones and the shiny anime ones THEY ARE TOO CUTE) 4. Favourite town/island name?/Have you a name picked out for your town/island? I WON’T SAY YET... i have multiple options for now and idk what to do... but my nl town is named Suzuran, and i really like this name :] 5. Will you be sharing with friends/family, or is your island going to be all your own? probably gonna be my own! my mother used to have a character in my wild world town though :) 6. What’s a new feature you’re excited about? ALL but mostly the terraforming/switching everything up options!! for...reasons mentioned above... also the weeds. i never really got to dupe clovers or stuff like that so i am very pumped 7. Favourite fruit? buttfruit peaches probably... i also love perfect oranges and perfect pears because they’re like golden... i like gold like perfect fruits in general hehe i also love the new fruits in new leaf! 8. Least favourite fruit? apples are a bit tacky to me but i still love them i am sad i cannot really make a lot of fruit trees work in my minimally colored nl towns... some people do it so well though and i am TRYING 9. Favourite area? (Beach, campground, shopping district etc, from any entry in the series.) THIS IS HARD I DON’T HAVE A LOT OF MEMORIES i have fond memories of the beach in wild world just because of some people’s really pretty hacked towns. like they added a whole “manor” (big player house) in front of it and that was the bomb. i also loved the cliffs in city folk and am so glad they are back... 10. Where do you like to like to put your house? Do you like that level of customization, or do you prefer to have some things decided, like in older entries? as i said i like secluded, remote areas for the house, and i also loved to put it near the cliff in city folk! (you better be fully awake if you step out) the beach is a neat option too. but in nl my favorite was next to a waterfall! 11. Favourite grass pattern? triangles! when i was a kid it was my least fav and i always avoided it though... then i visited a friend’s cf town and was like “wait this is MORE LIKE REAL GRASS” and i had an awakening... 12. Least favourite grass pattern? circles are a bit... odd for grass i think 13. Favourite villager/s? purrl was my absolute queen when i played wild world and still is. i love cats in general... and deer. and coco. coco is so my aesthetic and goals for a town feeling if you know what i mean, i adore her. doyoing 14. Least favourite villager/s? i am basic and like cute things so the least cute and mostly most tacky, bright colored ones... i am sorry...i still care about all your villagers 15. Did you like doing Tom Nook’s chores, or did you find those to be a pain? generally speaking i like them when i first play the game because they are immersive and kinda introduce you to the main concepts of the game? (the city in city folk, being mayor in nl etc) but with side characters and resetting they get a bit repetitive and frustrating upping your reputation to be able to work as a mayor in nl also is a pain 16. Favourite NPC/s? label is my queen and wife. i love her sisters too, and tom nook... BLANCA too i adored her when i played wild world and couldn’t get to see her in my town and was so hyped for her nl event laughs, and joan and daisy mae... i’m probably forgetting some faves I LOVE EVERYONE wait KAPPN has cute dialogue too! 17. Least favourite NPC/s? is there one? i don’t know? i’m gonna go check a list of npcs now ... i am back and honestly I DON’T KNOW 18. Do you use paths? Are you excited about the new path tool? i don’t use paths in my town because they are a mess to set up and i love the natural look anyway, but some people do it so well! i love the ones with natural colors and the little details. the new path tool looks so convenient, but i don’t know if i like the textures! i’ll probably use it sparsely because i also wanna keep that wild look to my town 19. Favourite feature from an older entry? the lights on the villagers’ houses in wild world is what came to mind first, hahah 20. What was your first Animal Crossing game? WILD WORLD!! i played it so much and for so long 21. Favourite activity (fishing, bug catching, fossil hunting, other)? bug catching (ca-ching) is my fave out of this list, i also love visiting dream towns and playing with friends in general! 22. Least favourite activity? diving is so slow... 23. Favourite bug? the huge butterflies you see in summer (i was AMAZED when i first saw them), the fireflies (SAME, the first time i saw some was in someone else’s town in city folk as we crossed a bridge and it was just magical, laughs), and the big shiny beetles... it’s not just for the monies, i promise 24. Least favourite bug? either the small butterflies that you see everywhere when you’re trying to catch something neat for the bug-off, or the tarentulas/scorpios because i NEVER MANAGED TO CATCH THEM 25. A quarter of the way there! How’s the wait? actually there’s barely a month remaining as we speak, so pretty fine! i still have to pick my character and town names, and to be honest i am mostly worried i’ll start procrastinating like crazy once the game is out. coughs. at least i’ll draw ac characters? 26. Favourite fish? i love coelacanths because i am a big nerd, also the sharks and the cute colorful fishes 27. Least favourite fish? just all the most common ones probably? sea bass isn’t the only one... 28. Favourite fossil? what are these questions. uh, i loved putting the small squares ones in my room in wild world...especially ammonites 29. Least favourite fossil? the ones that bring less cash money? i only care about fossils when they’re displayed in the museum tbh. and there i just love them all 30. Favourite furniture series? the ranch series looked way better in wild world and i am mourning now i love alpine, rococo and modern wood the most! the green one looks cool recolored too! i like combining different series the most, too 31. Least favourite furniture series? anything bright and tacky (except maybe the lovely that’s still fairly cute?) 32. Favourite soundtrack? (Gamecube, DS/Wii, etc) i can’t remember but i get huge pangs of nostalgia if i listen to the wild world/city folk one 33. Least favourite soundtrack? i DON’T KNOW... maybe nl was a bit less whismical? 34. Favourite wallpaper? alpine, chic, exquisite, classic, [...] anything that looks warm and natural and makes for a comfortable house! 35. Do you have a nice memory of the games/community etc you’d like to share? when i was a young teen, i idolized someone in the wild world community because her town was honestly incredibly pretty? so much thought has been put into it and it was just a dream. it made me want to invest more time and planning into my own towns and that’s how i got really, really hooked on the game, i think 36. Least favourite wallpaper? anything really colorful and tacky again... 37. Favourite carpet? the wood ones, mostly! 39. Favourite furniture item? i love the oven thing from pocket camp... and the rocking chair... and the fireplace... 40. Will you be buying a Switch for Animal Crossing, or do you already have one? i have preordered the animal crossing one... i live for this (i am so glad i waited though honestly) 41. Least favourite furniture item? the huge tacky things or things that just look odd in a house perhaps... wait but i still like to see them and some people use them so well. why would i hate on furniture i wonder 42. Favourite flower? jacob’s ladders and white flowers in general. i adore the look of the ones in nh, holy sh- 43. Least favourite flower? pretty much anything that’s yellow. just never goes with my town plans... the roses especially are so bright i’m 44. Favourite hybrid? i miss the colors of the ones in ww/cf so much... so so much but in general i like anything that’s purple, black or blue i think :> 45. Least favourite hybrid? hmmmm the orange ones from new leaf i think? in the previous games they were so rich and warm though... 46. Favourite shirt? the canary shirt, maybe? though i mostly use qr codes, ahaha some of these outfits are still super cute... 47. Favourite dress? anything pocket camp tends to be good, also this one forever in my heart. i adore the flowery sleeveless dresses too! 48. Favourite accessory? bandages, heart shades, leaf, and tortoise specs! 49. Favourite hat/helmet? celeste’s ribbon, hibiscus hairpin, and that tiny straw hat 51. Favourite shop? i always adored able sisters, and leif’s little gardening shack :> 52. Do you collect amiibo cards/figures? Would you like to see them used in the new game? we know they are compatible now, but i don’t have any! maybe i should buy some? 53. Fishing Tourney or Bug-Off? bug-off is quicker and funnier >:] also i remember i ALWAYS WON in cf while playing with friends... fight me... 54. Do you like making your own clothing patterns? there are so many nice ones already that my slots are always full, so i don’t bother... i remember making a two-toned shirt that i wanted irl when i got new leaf, but that’s pretty much all 55. Did you streetpass with many other ACNL players, or is it a feature you didn’t get much use of? I ALMOST NEVER DID...
56. Favourite villager species? CATS... also, deer. basic basic 57. Least favourite villager species? mice and monkeys have the least cute designs i think...? also hamsters idk. i don’t know i like villagers don’t make me choose 58. Favourite nickname from a villager? 59. Least favourite nickname from a villager? I NEVER LET THEM NICKNAME ME... i am sorry to all the aminals 60. Do you try to collect everything in the game, or just try to get your favourite bits and pieces? in wild world i tried to fill my catalog, but now i only get what i need or what i know my friends might need 61. Favourite villager personality? i always had a thing for the snooty and cranky ones! the uchis are cool now too 62. Least favourite villager personality? the jocks are boring to me and they tend to have my least fav designs. when i like one i keep them though because it is so rare...wheeps 63. Do you “plot reset” for villager house placement, or do you let them move in wherever they want? i only really started doing that with the welcome amiibo update that apparently makes it easier, else i just waited for the annoying ones to move... (and time travelled a lot) 64. Are you excited to wear any of the new accessories (like the bags etc shown in the E3 trailer)? i will COLLECT THOSE and COLOR COORDINATE 65. What season are you most looking forward to seeing in New Horizons? 66. What’s your favourite season? i think summer, i want to hear the cicadas and see the fireflies again, and i also want to see how the rain and wind look like! i remember seeing really pretty storms in nl during summer too ♥ 67. Least favourite season? winter gets slow after a while? i still love it though 68. Which game’s events/holidays do you like the most? 69. Which game’s events/holidays do you like least? i don’t remember ‘-’ honestly i feel like i liked them all for different reasons? wild world felt more “involved” in the community, REMEMBER THE GARDENING CONTESTS! and city folk gave you better rewards and was a fun minigame for the day. 70. Do you have another nice AC related memory you’d like to share (in-game, of the community, etc)? i had a vivid dream that your character could DIE in animal crossing once (i predicted new horizons yes) 71. Do you prefer the “live” versions of K.K. Slider’s Songs, or the airchecks? i tend to prefer the airchecks but the concerts are Special, no matter if it’s with friends or alone 72. An NPC you’d like to see more of? mmmnnh blanca always. i love her spirit 73. An NPC you’d like to see less of? really unpopular opinion probably but i wouldn’t miss reese and cyrus too much if they aren’t as present in nh 74. If you could have any piece of AC merchandise, which would it be? the plushies are so good... i’d like like... a fauna one... idk WHEW I’M DONE... i’ll be posting the rest of it daily now!
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100/100 - 5 steps to make the most out of our life
I started this essay months ago... Writing about it made me frustrated and sad : by taking stock of my thoughts ont the topic, it was all too clear that I had lost my way on several of them. It was the perfect time to write about it for many reasons, but also the worst for many different reasons.
So I followed my own principles, and let it sit, while exploring them one by one, reclaiming them. Real deep growth means getting back to beginner’s state over and over. Overdoing it is part of the process too. So are feeling lost, afraid, doubting ourselves and the process while trying to trust it. All of it and more. Change (and life itself) is a big mess.
Here are some signs that you may not use your time in a way that is satisfying to you (one is enough, especially if intense and persistant) :
Sleep issues (including fine quality of sleep but constant fatigue)
Reduced functional time : someone fine can function for 10 hours on average before being really tired. Anxiety or depression and other disorders can reduce this to 1 hour in severe cases.
Frequent/permanent bursts of sadness or fear (especially if ‘unexplained’).
Feeling like time tends to fly by ‘too quickly’, even if it can seem way too slow as well sometimes.
Feeling like it’s impossible to do what really matters to you because you don’t have enough time or energy.
I was checking 3 out of those boxes, and in an intense way until a few weeks back. I realised that I had slipped into this territory again, the one of being caught in so many vicious cycles that it feels like it may never stop and I may never have time to do what’s important to me. So I went back to basics and made sure I would embody these words, not just aspire to them.
Here are the steps I am following to reset and ease back slowly the way I spend my daily time.
Pausing and listening
Stillness and reflection are absolutely key in this process.
Without them in our life, everything feels way too blurry to take on real deep change, or even to understand what we are experiencing. And trying to change the way we use our time is definitely real deep change.
To learn how to pause, we need to start from what we consider as a pause. Meditation is one of the surest, fastest and strongest way to learn stillness and to connect to ourselves. But many people have even difficulty to stay a few moments doing nothing in silence. For them, meditation is simply too hard right now.
This specific difficulty is in itself a symptom of deep underlying emotional struggle. It shows us also how much we struggle to accept ourselves the way we are. But be sure of one thing : we can all find our way back to stillness and delight in our own company, which is our deep natural state... As long as we start from where we are at.
When stillness isn’t available to us yet as a safe practice, we can already benefit from simply slowing down. Doing activities that make us feel almost still, or at least calmer helps greatly.
Taking breaks without getting our phones out. Taking a deep breath from the belly and slowly letting it out through the mouth. Practicing staying silent with people, just enjoying each other’s company or even just being bored together. Walking and letting our thoughts wonder. Listening to music while daydreaming. Stopping for a few instants once in a while during our commute to simply observe the world going on without us… There are many ways to progress back towards that childlike and very wise ability of staying in the moment.
(check this essay for more ideas on how to train your mindful muscles)
Daring
To live the most out of our life, we will need to change regularly, either to adapt to the environment we choose, adapt to life itself or simply to follow out deeply human need to evolve. Change is the only real constant we’ll ever face.
That change (especially when it’s deep) will always requires that we get out of our comfort zone, which will always have that scary vibe that accompanies vulnerability. When we change, we take risks, and real risks are scary : we need courage to take them on.
We will need to find out what we really want, which can be scary enough as it is. We will need to explore what it is by doing all sorts of new unsettling things. We will need to learn how to listen to ourselves more and better. We will need to fail miserably every so often (the bigger the goal, the more frequent the failure involved). We will need to face how little we know about ourselves and how paradoxical we really are. We will need to embrace the awkward messes that we are. How much we suck, we are wrong, imperfect, incompetent, uncomfortable, scared, intimidated, self-limiting we can be…
Change is a journey that can be as great, liberating and empowering as it is humbling, unsettling and subtile. One big happy mess when it’s taken on fulll speed.
More on the courage to change and be who we really are in this essay.
A little bit of everything
If I had to choose just one word to characterise deep change, it would be balance. No life lived in any kind of extreme is sustainable or even really appreciated on the long term, most of us know that deep down...
But humans are also really bad at finding balance, even more in our fast paced world. Instead, we tend to have some sort(s) of cycles, going round and round between being too self-indulgent and too harsh on ourselves.
We often call them “being reasonable” and “letting ourselves live”, but rarely truly do any of both in the end. There is something very disheartening in living stuck in those cycles.
Life stuck in cycles doesn’t feel at all like we can have an impact on our destiny, like what we do actually matter in the grand scheme of things. We feel stuck and discouraged. Often bitter too.
That is why there is something so liberating in finding ways to balance everything that is important to us. Even if it will never be achieved as a goal : even if we do find some sort of balance, life changes, circumstances change, WE change no matter what we do. So balance has to be found over and over, the way our courage or what we think we know about ourselves does.
I’ve met so many people betting their life on something big in their future, ready to sacrifice things they know are important (like time with our loved ones, their passion, their sleep…) for things they think they really need first in order to be happy (generally money, status, diplomas…). I have yet to meet someone who really “won” that kind of bet.
What I’ve met a lot, are people who lost their dreams, their will to live or simply lost themselves in that game. They will need more, always. They will keep procrastinating what they deem as really important in their heart, until something breaks. Their bodies, their soul, their spirit… Or simply until they die.
How many cautionary tales and tragic anecdotes do we hear about those people who were waiting for their retirement or these other big things (money, status, power, diploma...) to ‘really live’ (be it travel, make art, spend quality time together…) until they actually got retired and couldn’t do any of it, because they were too sick, physically shattered, depressed to have lost all that was their daily life, or tragically lost their spouse? Or, they got the job, money and status they just don’t have more time, jut more responsibilities? Young adults who will have spent their lives between mental health issues and studying before tragically passing in an accident?
It might sound morbid, but like many people who have faced death in a very intimate way, I use my mortality as an incentive for being brave and go after what truly matters to me.
Don’t get me wrong though, there is nothing wrong about making sacrifices for our bigger goals. We will always have to sacrifice things to get what we deeply want.
I’m just saying, don’t forget to also live : paint on the week end, write that book on stolen minutes, learn/practice that craft 10mn of practice at the time, go on dates with people you love and create actual memories with them, take time to breathe and look around you, to connect with nature, to dance and listen to music, to read good books and taste great food...
Learn to know yourself and the world around you. Switch your phone off and use your senses to live your life. One meaningful moment at the time. LIVE!
You can have more of the life you really want, right now. Allow yourself to make a bit of it happen.
And if you already do that, and know deep down that you really love what you already have and wouldn’t change a thing, but still feel like life is passing by : make bigger bets.
Decide that you will save money for that thing you really want to do someday, NOW, give that thing a deadline. Take some risks. Evening classes. Online classes : thanks to the Internet, we can learn everything we want NOW. Look for things you might want to explore, start where you are, and bet on yourself.
Start making your dreams happen bit by bit. One step at the time, we will make the hard things happen. Don’t wait for the perfect time to do what matters. STEAL the time, it’s yours anyway. DARE!
More on balance on this essay.
Make room for play
I don’t know you, but I’ve been raised with the idea that play is for children and immature adults. And I always hated it.
Play was such a privileged time of my childhood. Its scarcity as I got older really made me very sad and slowly infused bitterness. The day I watched the TED talk on the power of play was very joyful and dare I say, life-altering.
Humans are wired to play until they die. When we don’t play, our brains work less efficiently, we are more prone to depression, anxiety and all sorts of things that make life MUCH harder than it already is.
Play is like putting on happy glasses : everything is slightly lighter and easier when we play, even the hardest things.
After a few years making room for play in my life and learning more about it, it takes me very little time to diagnose a lack of play in someone’s life : they simply lack “colours”. Even when they are joyful and lively by nature, there’s a sadness in their eyes and voice, in their words.
I can hear their inner child calling for help. Some kind of soft “There must be more to life, that can’t be all there is to it, can it?”. Yes, there is more to it.
Play is some of that “it”. We all need it in several forms. Humour by itself isn’t enough. Entertainment either. We need to enter some kind of games, to be active in that process, find engaging activities that bring us joy to share with people close to us.
Video games, board games, rough and tumble play… alone or with company : pick your favourites, and don’t be afraid to experiment with the ones you don’t know well. You might find a new love hidden there.
There is no way around play, we all need some : it reminds us of our aliveness. So : what are you playing at lately?
(Find an essay on play here)
Honour pleasure
Another thing that is often missing in our lives. We hear so often in many different ways that we need to be productive. That our duties and our ability to own up to them define how well we “got it together”. And boy, do we want badly to get it together…
How many of us feel ruled by our to-do lists and duties?
Here’s one little secret about to-do lists : we will always have more things to do than we have time, they should be directions, not orders. They are certainly not the boss of you!
If we focus on doing everything more than on choosing what things we want to prioritise, life tends to feel a lot like a permanent run, feeling late and overwhelmed.
If we focus only on minimising the to do lists to diminish stress, we always end up cutting out things that are in reality more important than the ones we actually do.
Do not focus on the to do lists. Focus on balance instead. And never forget that pleasure must be a part of that balance.
Pleasure doesn’t need to cost anything, use huge chunks of time or anything really. Pleasure is about perceived luxury : things that make life fuller, more worth living.
It can be as simple as getting up 10mn earlier so we can really take our time drinking our coffee in the morning, changing your commute to walk in that area you enjoy, taking 10mn everyday to walk with someone you love (even in complete silence), switch technology off so we can really enjoy that meal, that break, that moment; taking time to dance recklessly, calling someone you love and didn’t hear from in a long time…
Pleasure is about not taking life for granted, making sure we are not just machines working, taking care of logistics, and surviving.
What are tiny things you can do often that would bring you pleasure? What things do you love but don’t do as often as you like? What makes your days special?
So here it is.
I am lacking words to describe how much working on those tiny but big things more seriously has been helpful for the past couple of months (and the past decade) to come back to myself. I finished my 100 days project exhausted, overwhelmed, sad for it to end and a bit lost.
Even if I still had really hard and stressful days, and I’m currently in the middle of some of the biggest and deepest change I experienced in years, I’m putting an end to this essay that much more centered and calm.
Life doesn’t have to be different (not even less stressful or painful) for you to be able to enjoy it more. All those things are small and big at the same time. Making sure we check on them and incorporate them can make our experience of life much richer and more satisfying, even if we don’t enhance anything else. No matter how life has to be stressful or hard, those are tiny things in our control that makes it easier to manage.
So... What does this essay inspire you to try?
#meaningful life#life hacks#positive psychology#emotional intelligence#growth hacking#therapist#counseling#the happy mess project#emotional badassery
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My Thoughts Are All Over the Place
Written: October 15, 2020
My day today went as usual. I woke up around 12 PM today. I played with my daughter for a while. She’s as hard to feed as ever. She barely eats most of the time, and if she does, the food is either from Jollibee or McDonalds. We’re kind of worried for her. Of course, she munches on cookies or bread every now and then, and also drinks a lot o milk. Still, we still think proper meals are important.
Since we’re in my parents’ place — we came here Monday of this week, 12th of October, and we’re planning to stay here for two weeks — I went upstairs when the clock chimed 4:00 PM. After just two days of doing this, it seems that Amber, my daughter, has gone accustomed to me saying, “Baby, it’s Mommy’s school time, okay? Mommy’s going to go upstairs.” During the first day, she kept on insisting, “No, Mommy. No leave!” However, today, she just said, “ahtey (her way of saying okay), mommy,” and proceeded to playing. Such a sweet girl!
My Foreign Language class is assigned at the 4:00 PM time slot, but it seems that the Teacher didn’t have any meetings planned for us again today, and there were also no news from my classmates. However, Sir Hans did tell me yesterday that it’s okay if I do not attend this class anymore and just submit all of the needed submissions for it, so I’m kind of not worried. When 8:00 PM chimed, I joined my class for The Teaching Profession subject taught by Sir Hans. We were given this assignment last week where we had to point out scenes from the movie ‘Freedom Writers’ and relate it to our assigned sections from Magna Carta’s Article III, and I’m really glad I did not let the procrastinator in me eat me up days before. I usually tend to forget the details of the movie I watch, but Freedom Writers really touched my heart while I was watching it. It made me cry which Nivan, my partner, found weird because according to him, “Nobody cries because of Freedom Writers!” This statement of his came from his experience when he was still studying. Their class had to watch the same movie and yet nobody cried over it. Anyways, the movie was really worth it to watch, which was why I was able to speak up a lot during the online class today.
After the class, i proceeded to playing my game. It’s been more than half a year since I started playing this game, and recently I’ve been questioning myself as to why I am still playing it. Playing the game just makes me lonely nowadays, in contrast to what it’s supposed to do which is to make you feel like you’re enjoying it. It’s an MMORPG so there’s a whole lot of people from all over the world playing it, and yet I have only ever made a few friends, and only one really stayed to be someone who talks to me in-game nowadays.
I know this blog seems to be everywhere, but as I’ve mentioned on the above paragraph, I am questioning myself as to why I’m playing the game still so I’ve decided to list down the reasons as to why I’m still playing to evaluate my own self:
1. I am still playing because I know that we spent a lot of money on this game and I didn’t want it to go to waste by just leaving the game. We can also choose to sell my account, however, the selling price will definitely not even be one-fourths of the amount of money we spent, so I do not think it’s worth it to sell.
2. It’s the first game that I played for a long long time nonstop. I started playing seven months ago which was the first day the game got released. I find it hard to let go of the game because I know that if I ever decide to come back to it in the future, I’ll be super left behind by everyone, even those people who did not pay for anything but played continuously will surpass my account even if my account invested a lot of money on the game. I guess I am too competitive for my own good regarding these things.
For now, those are the only pressing issues as to why I can’t seem to let go of the game. I am not enjoying the game at all anymore, and yet those two things are keeping me from completely quitting.
I might share a brief story of my gaming life in this game for the blog tomorrow.
Sincerely,
Angel
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Written ship- BTS, EXO and Wanna One.
Request: Hey!! :) May I request a Written Ship, please - for BTS, EXO, and Wanna one? - ❤Thankyou!❤ ~ Hope you have a Lovely day/night xxx.
I have Dyed Red hair that is about medium length and quite naturally wavy. I have Green/Hazel eyes and quite pale skin though my arms and legs are slightly tanned. My lips are rather full and come across as quite pouty (if that makes sense). I’m 5'3"/161cms though i’m actually supposed to be slightly (only a little) taller however I have scoliosis and so i’m a bit shorter than i’m meant to be due to the curve in my spine however that is going to be sorted soon and so afterwards i’ll probably be around 5'4" or at the most 5'5" (hopefully not - I still wanna be Smol). After the operation to fix my spine though I will more then likely have a large scar down my back!! 😨.
have a kinda curvy-ish figure though it looks weird because I have hip dip; I also have quite wide shoulders 😅. I have an art gallery of Stretch marks that I hate though i’m learning to accept/love them. I have a weakness for food 😶 especially chocolate or any sweet treats tbh. I despise school 😥 ugh! Whyyy?! Especially since I have important exams coming up soon. I get stressed pretty easily which sometimes results in me becoming emotional and then easily agitated - I get pretty irritated quickly anyway and I also have quite a hot temper. I’m either absolutely awful at holding grudges and being angry at someone (especially if we’re really close) or I can be exceptionally good at holding grudges too depending on the person and/or what they did. I also tend to get quite jealous very easily. I love making friends; however when meeting new people (or even just being around people I don’t know that well/i’m not that close to) I can be extremely awkward and shy - yet around people i’m close to, i’m very loud, bubbly, and crazy - in a good way. I’m prone to laughing a lot when i’m with my friends - especially to the point of being unable to stop laughing. I can sometimes seem very withdrawn and introverted at times too though.
I get embarrassed very easily and blush a lot. I love skinship and can be very affectionate towards my friends, they often say I can be a little clingy, for example If i’m tired or bored I usually rest my head on them and I love jumping on their backs when they least expect it - I can be quite childish and playful at times 😂 - I love hugs and apparently I give really good hugs. I love having fun however I get bored very easily, i’m nearly always up for an adventure and I especially love amusement parks and places like arcades and even play areas (of course I just go in their to “supervise my younger siblings” 🤣) I also loves playing games like tag and hide ‘n seek 😅 i’m just a child at heart; although I do have those days where I just want to lay in bed and do nothing but watch movies or sleep. I love dancing to my favorite music - and singing/rapping along though i’m not the best. I get cold VERY easily, my hands always are numb in winter to the point my fingertips often go slightly blue, however I love winter time and Christmas so bad!
I am a major procrastinator - it’s so bad - homework is nearly always left til last minute and tasks often forgotten about 😖however if I get stuck into doing something like cleaning or writing or something then I usually do it very thoroughly - 😂 after all the motivation needed to start the job. I also tend to zone out a lot and am a big daydreamer. I love reading - my favourite genre is probably fantasy or dark and twisted - nothing too scary though as I have a very active imagination and can get jumpy and scared very easily though I like to act brave. My friends also often say I tend to be quite cute and smol but also quite sassy 😂 I am quite a clumsy person too. I’m not really talented in much - I kinda wanna learn to play the piano and I also wanna learn to dance - i’m currently attempting to learn Korean, as I said earlier I get told often that I give good hugs, I also apparently have a good sense of fashion. Is being able to read a book in just a weekend a talent? 😂 I guess i’m pretty good at acting or so i’ve been told - I do drama in school. I’m good at putting up an intimidating front? Though my friends still think i’m cute even when I try not to be.
I’m not so good at reigning in laughter..in fact quite the opposite happens and then anythings sets me off. I’m pretty good at making friends once my awkwardness has disappeared. I’m very good at procrastinating! 🤣 i’m not good at art…whatsoever!! I’m quite good at eavesdropping (maybe that’s not such a good thing 😅) - I think i’m a pretty good liar too (also probably not such a good thing 😶). I’m good at talking..a lot. I guess i’m also pretty charming as people seem to always want to speak with me and make friends. Oh and i’m VERY good at being stubborn! I would probably say I am an Ambivert - but If I had to pick Extrovert or Introvert then I think I’d be slightly closer to an Introvert - just a friendly and over-excitable introvert *with extra awkwardness* 😂. ~ Sorry if I wrote a lot x.
For: @insufferablefaemales
~•~
BTS:
Jungkook:
Such a sweetheart
Would try to help you with your stress related problems as much as he can
Wouldn’t know how to deal with your jealousy to be honest
Also probably quite awkward and shy
laughing with you all the time once hes comfortable
Probably would enjoy embarrassing you to see you blush
More on the shy side with skinship
Definitely up for adventure and fun
Also definitely up for laying in bed all day not moving
Tries to stop you from procrastinating by helping if he can
Would watch horror movies with you
Would teach you to dance if he thinks you’d get into it
Tries to match his outfits to yours
Makes you laugh in the worst places at the worst times
You being stubborn rubs off on him
EXO:
Xiumin:
Definitely always helping you with stress and calming you down
Might not like you getting jealous but thats only natural
I don’t see him being awkward or shy at all
would always laugh with you
Loves doing all he can to embarrass you
Open with skinship
Always up for adventure and having fun
Always up for laying around and chilling out
Stops you procrastinating as soon as he can
Might watch horror movies with you depending on his mood
Definitely matching outfits
Would make you laugh in awkward situations
WANNA ONE:
Daniel:
A real cutie
Tries his hardest to help with stress and calming you down all the time
I don’t think he’d mind depending on how seriously you get jealous
Sometimes awkward
Sometimes super cocky and forward
Constantly laughing with you
Loves embarrassing you but won’t do it in front of people you aren’t comfortable with
I think he’d be pretty open with skinship
Adventure and fun for him are a must at least once a month I think (not too often though)
Definitely up for relaxing more though
As soon as you start procrastinating he stops it (if he can)
I see him wanting to watch horror movies
Probably secretly (and openly with you) up for couples outfits
Makes you laugh just to hear you laugh
the cheese is real
#bts ships#bts#bts jungkook#exo ships#exo#exo xiumin#wanna one ships#wanna one#wanna one daniel#xiumin#kang daniel#jungkook
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Top ten songs I’m listening to
I was tagged by my awesome friend Susan @by7the7sea thanks, Susan :3
I present you the top ten songs I’m listening to, in no particular order... though I do apologize for all the rambling because it’s not like you asked to read all my bullshit I’m sorry lol
1.- Send Them Off! by Bastille - I first heard this song early this year because it’s part of the FIFA 17 soundtrack and my brother told me on many occasions that I should listen to it since he knew I was into another song of theirs that was part of the FIFA 16 soundtrack. It took me about 4 months to take my brother up on his offer and my only regret is that I had to procrastinate this because had I listened closely to it the first time baby bro told me to, I’d have known them sooner lol I remember it was mid May when I broke the promise I made to myself of not falling for another band (because I tend to go a bit... overboard when it comes to bands lmao) because the moment I read the lyrics and listened to the first idk notes? I was hooked and completely fucked because I knew there was no turning back, so here I am 5 months later, still unable to listen to anything else that’s not them (well, I do listen to some other stuff but it’s really 90% them). This one’s on my top three of fave Bastille songs, it’s very special and important to me, plus like?? it’s so Good?? so so Good.
2.- Hangin’ by Bastille - I found this one via the FIFA 16 soundtrack and my brother; I remember having the oh oh oh oh oh chorus stuck in my head for weeks before I decided to finally download it, and it was a song that helped me get through the first few months of my new job last year (it made me feel less lonely because it reminded me of my brother, plus that voice, wow! Such a unique sound and a very noticeable accent, even before I completely fell ‘in love’ with Dan, I Adored his voice). I haven’t stopped listening to it since then, and with my recent experiences in life it’s also gotten a new meaning for me, which made me fall in love with it all over again. It’s also my pride and joy because it’s the song (besides Pompeii) that I knew before I got into the band, and a song I Loved before I knew the guys by name lol
3.- Run For Cover by The Killers - My forever boys, my loves. This is their most recent single, it got me hooked from the start, it’s also my favorite song off their new record, and what can I say? I missed them desperately and terribly, so it’s like a breath of fresh air to have another The Killers’ fave and just having new songs to listen to.
4.- Walking The Wire by Imagine Dragons - It just makes me feel so Good listening to this. Their new album in general makes me feel good and hopeful, it sounds different from the other two records, both of which I Love because they’re so relatable to anyone going through depression or/and anxiety, especially the first one and they helped me get through some shit back in 2015, but this new one is just Dan coming out of all that, the struggle with depression and anxiety and idk it gives me hope that I’ll get there someday. Anyway, back to the song lol, it’s a beautiful love song and I just I love it even if I’m not in a relationship, fuck it, I love it.
5.- Haunt by Bastille - Oh man, this song... this song is something else?? I wasn’t so into it when I started listening properly to the band because, even though they just have two LPs, they have so many songs and it took time for me to listen to each one closely and fall in love with every little sound and every lyric?? So when it was this one’s turn, wow, it changed me (I’m pretty sure every song of theirs has changed me when I paid attention to them), especially when I watched videos of it being performed live... something else. There’s also a version of it from when Bastille was not Bastille and it was just Dan and it is Amazing, as well.
6.- Something Just Like This by The Chainsmokers and Coldplay - This song is so cute and well, it’s Chris Martin in vocals, what else could you ask for? I also love it because it kinda makes me think of stray dogs with the ‘I’m not looking for somebody with some super human gifts, some superhero, some fairy tale bliss, just something I can turn to, somebody I can miss’ bit, because I think dogs don’t want you to be special to love you, they just love you because you’re you and when they’re alone in the streets, they want someone to love and who loves them in return, idk it makes me feel so emotional about dogs, maybe because the first time I heard it, we had just adopted our 5th pup lol but yeah.
7.- Palm Trees by Lowell - Another FIFA soundtrack song, from FIFA 15. It just makes me feel so nostalgic and I unironically listen to it when I’m in a melancholic mood because it brings back a lot of memories not for what the song says or anything, it’s just the way it sounds? so I listen to it to get even more nostalgic, I just like to get sad lol
8.- Pompeii by Bastille - I know it’s their most famous song and that for long time fans it’s been a little bit overplayed lol but for me, it’s a song that I love because of many reasons, the main one being that I knew it, I heard it back in 2013, back when all I knew about Bastille was that its lead singer was called Dan and he had a mighty quiff lmao... so, I was aware of their existence because well they were everywhere, but I was stupid enough not to follow them in that moment, and I like to hit myself in the head with the fact that I did listen to the song in 2013 and I knew they were my kind of band but I put ‘on hold’ giving them a listen just because I wasn’t in the right mood for new obsessions (and because I promised not to fall for bands to the point of insanity anymore, which seems to be the only way I get into bands lol) and I knew damn well I was gonna get obsessed with these boys so my ‘I’ll give them a listen later’ transformed into 4 years later and it took my brother and FIFA 17 to finally push me towards them because I’m a natural born procrastinator and a piece of trash who could’ve found them years ago but no, I had to wait 4 years. I just imagine what it would’ve been like to fall for them back in the day and I get angry at myself lol. The song also took a turn when the earthquakes in my country happened, which gave it a new, deeper and kinda darker meaning for me.
9.- Sweet Talk by The Killers - This is my song and I will listen to it forever until the end of time because of what it means to me, it’s my most beloved song, I think and I just wish I could like idk get married to it or something to prove my undying love for it lmao but seriously...
10.- Basically every other song by Bastille - Since it’s the last spot, I couldn’t choose one because like all of their songs have been played equal amounts of time in the last five months by me, so Bastille’s entire discography is my top ten of songs I’m listening to lol
Bonus: The Killers and Imagine Dragons new records 10/10 recommend and yeah, it’s the other stuff I’ve also been listening to. Plus youtube mixes of fantasy soundtracks from like video games and stuff :3
I’ll tag my other Awesome friend @nopancakehouses, if you feel like it, I’d love to see your list ^-^
#meet the blogger#the blogger who can never shut the fuck up about anything she's into lmao sorry#but I'm not sorry really#tag game#I didn't proof read this so I'm sorry in advance for that as well lol
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Allen’s Anime Update
Hey there folks, sorry for the wait. A lot of things have been happening in the X-Household and... well, I’d rather not go into details about IRL stuff on the internet. Also, Persona 5 came out, and I’ve been playing that game quite a bit. Not as obsessively as I thought I would, but enough to where I’ve procrastinated on writing the update. Also, as you guys may have noticed I’m doing a lot more drawing lately now I’ve gotta’ a handle on my tablet... and I’ve had to get a new one because... reasons I’d rather not explain. Anyway, onto the update!
So, Akiba’s Trip: The Animation wasn’t the anime I was hoping it’d be. Coming off the heels of Keijo!!!!!!!! was hoping and expecting for another fun anime with an extremely ridiculous premise and a lot of good action scenes in it. And it looked like I was going to get that from the first episode, but after that this show fell into a monster-of-the-week style of show and I just... couldn’t hang until it finished and I could marathon. Now, I should explain a bit as to why I don’t care for that style of show.
With a monster-of-the-week show, it always feels too formulaic and predictable. Something is happening in a hero’s life that’s a problem, a villain that represents that problem in some way shows up, the hero beats the villain, the hero learns how to fix his problem and we get a nice moral of the episode. Rinse and repeat for next week. This isn’t bad by any means, it just never appeals to me when I watch action shows. It’s half the reason I tuned out of Power Rangers in my youth. This is still a good anime, and I’d recommend it for those that want a nice, simple, episodic story to watch with a lot of comedy thrown in.
Lastly, I just was to say the English voice cast was great. I kept up the dub for this show I’m so glad I did. Alejandro Saab as Tamaotsu definitely nailed it. I’ve heard the guy’s name, but I’ve never seen him in the a role until now. I’ll be looking out for his next appearance from now on. His energtic performs was one of the things had me coming back to this show. Plus, Natalie Hoover as Arisa was great too.
Ah, Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid. The last thing I expected this anime to do was give me feels. I can’t believe I nearly teared up at the last episode.
For a bit of context here, the X-Household has me, my mother, and within the last year or so, my uncle. My uncle was a new addition to the house last year and me and my mom just... adapted to it. It was actually nice to have a third person in the house, even though I still rarely come out of my room. And he left a few days ago to handle some business out of town. He’ll be gone for 2 weeks. And in episode 13, when Tohru left the Kobayashi-Household for awhile and the quiet emptiness of the apartment started to set in for Kobayashi, I... I just connected with her a lot. It’s so different when someone leaves the house and they aren’t there when you’re back. The quiet just... feels a bit unsettling in some ways.
Anyway, enough of that, the anime is VERY GOOD.
But... I have to talk about it’s flaws. Not because I feel inclined to, but because tumblr won’t shut up about them. So I’ll be hitting all the major points I can.
The show has several moments of cheap fanservice
In the beginning, Lucoa seems to just fill the role of a busty, shotacon-esque character
There are implications of a 7(ish)-year-old Kanna wanting to have sexual relations with another girl of the same age
The dub had redid the script to make Kobayashi directly say she was straight despite the heavy homosexual tones in later episodes
Kanna’s english voice is hit or miss with a lot of people (this isn’t a bad thing, but again, tumblr won’t shut up about)
Now, most of this is typical stuff in anime, I don’t mind it being called out, but... damn, I didn’t think this show would be causing so much discourse and hate. I’m still wondering why Tumblr hates this anime so much. It’s got flaws, but so does every anime. I’ve said before, this isn’t the first time a feel-good anime has had cheap fanservice or less-than-proper implications, and it won’t be the last. Anyway, I totally recommend you watch this anime if you want something feel-good. It’s KyoAni after all.
Also, the dub is pretty good as well. I was keeping up with the sub because I honestly didn’t think Funimation would touch anything related to KyoAni ever, but the dub isn’t bad. Lucoa and Kobayashi’s voices are my favorites.
And now onto Konosuba. Thankfully it did not just rehash a lot of the jokes in season and kept the setting at the same place like I feared it would, but it was pretty damn close. I’m glad I watched this show. I rarely watch the second season of a lot of shows since the second season of most shows like this tend to turn into Cheap Fanservice: the Show, but that didn’t happen here. The jokes still had me laughing, I’m still attached to the characters, and the plot really looks like it’s moving forward.
However, I’m both intrigued and worried about a season 3. Like I said, this was show got close to rehashing itself in the first half, so a season 3 has me extremely worried that it’s going to happen. But anyway, I recommend watching both this and season 1 if you guys haven’t yet, it’s a really funny show that had me laughing out loud every episode. And I mean it had me doing the ugly laugh, so you know it’s good.
I haven’t watched Little Witch Academy yet, so this might up in the air still, but THIS is so far the anime of the Winter Season for me. Saga of Tanya the Evil was a ride. It’s got action, drama, good character moments, suspense, and Good Lord Almighty that ending. I usually knocks point off a show for sequel-hooking, but goddamn I want a season 2 so bad now. Like I said before, going into detail about this show would be spoiling it, but... just trust me, it’s good... so good. I didn’t think this evil little girl would steal my heart like the Phantom Thieves of Heart in P5, but hey, if anyone can do the impossible, it’s Tayna.
And again, the dub of this is out and still has a few more episodes to go, but from what I’ve watch it’s pretty good. Monica Rial is one of my favorite voice actresses and she definitely does a good performance as Tayna.
Now onto anime I’ll be keeping up with in the Spring. I usually wait until a few episodes of all the anime I’ll be waiting is out, but since I’m only keeping up with one show this season I’ll just let you guys know now.
So yeah, just one show this season, and it’s mostly so I can focus on Persona 5, drawing, and writing my stories. Now, Armed Girl’s Machiavellism is... well, it’s basically a battle harem anime. Y’know, what’s kinda’ been “in” for last while now, but I read the manga of this a few years ago and it look pretty promising in both action and comedy. Also, Nomura is a sarcastic bastard that reminds me so much of an old OC of mine that I just related to him a lot, and I have to see where the anime goes. I’m also hoping the manga comes stateside as well. Now sadly, the only place to watch this (legally) is Amazon’s Anime Strike, which is a monthly service that cost 5 bucks a month... dammmit, I had prime for a reason. So yeah, I’m hoping this anime can at least keep my attention when I take a break from writing and drawing.
And that’s it for the anime update. The only other anime I was interest in was that Danmachi spin off, but I’m gonna’ wait a bit before checking that out. Anyway, if you guys have anime to recommend or want my opinion of just shoot me an ask. See ya’!
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