#Anyway I might stop talking about it for now bc it's. Very dark. I do sometimes put serious subjects in my AUs but I need to be in the

[nonuggetshere]

Bro that's dark.

Pk, just exhausted, he's lost his voice from screaming for hours, completely desensitized from watching his babies fall apart in the most gruesome way. But when his last twins open their eyes he and his wife just lose it, sobbing and showering the twins with kisses and hugs.

Mmmm not exactly

TW: Infant death, dehumanisation and child neglect

He didn't see any of it happening, his wife prevented him from looking. And as for Secret and Ghost, they're both extremely emotionally detached from them for the first few weeks, until they start crawling around and actually showing signs of being alive a few months in.

At first, they view them as nothing more than tools without purpose and their punishment for the crimes they've committed. They feel nothing for them except abject horror and a crushing amount of regret and guilt. There's no parental affection or love, nothing beyond providing very basic care.

Pale King dissociates hard the first few days and in the following weeks he (sort of involuntarily, instinctually) treats them like threats and even though he has to recover he wishes so much he was out there hunting instead of having to watch them. These things weren't his children and there was a period where he contemplated abandoning or killing them to spare himself and his lady the heartache, and to cut these miserable things' suffering short.

Which just leads to even more feelings of guilt when they realise the twins are alive and not hollow.

[artsycloudysleepy]

aaaaaa tysm!!!! this helps so much, you have no idea! have a great rest of your day and thanks again :D

(warning that the tags are long and lengthy!)

hiya nye!! hope you're doing good :3

looking for some OC advice if that's okay: i have an OC who has MDD, but afaik i don't have it myself and i really want to avoid harmful stereotyping or unrealistic portrayals!

was wondering if you have any tips on writing it, if there's anything specific i should know (if there's treatment, side-effects, etc.) or just anything to avoid in terms of stereotypes?

obviously don't answer this if you don't want to, it's probably very personal, and take your time if you do! i want to avoid screwing up, and while i am also going to check out articles and do my research, i also want to make sure i'm not accidentally being a prick or looking at misinformation and ask you if you have any advice :)

thank you so much! have a nice day nye, stay hydrated :D

Heeyyyy Artsy :3

I'd be happy to help in whatever way I can, but heads up I'm not professionally diagnosed or anything and am definitely not an expert on the topic, so this will just be from my personal experience

So of course maladaptive daydreaming is different for everyone, I think the most common interpretation of it is someone who might use their persona to self insert themselves into media they might like, or a personally written story. Sometimes they might be pre-written and played out (I personally believe this is what "shifters" do). A second common one might be writing a story by thinking about it as a show, where you yourself may not be involved. Many people wrote brilliant stories using this method.

My personal experience is that I can count multiple times where my maladaptive daydreaming was more prominent throughout my life, but I can't really pick it out if childhood experiences as it was kind of like the hit thing to be good at imagining when you were 5.

My standout experience with MDD is ongoing. It started five years ago and it involves myself and other people consistently. There is no change in plot or reboots, I consider these people consistent as any other person I might know. Plainly, I consider the maladaptive daydreaming characters that I have created (ocs) AND have not created to exist as people in some way, so I treat them as such.

Part of my MDD is that these people I know through my head interact with people from the real world, having casual conversations and such.

My level of focus on my MDD varies on my mental health and environment, it usually ranges from maybe 1 interaction a day to things I have planned for the day being cancelled because I'm busy daydreaming. My daydreaming friends will often grow distressed if I don't speak to them for long periods of time. Some of them (my ocs) fear that they'd cease to exist, while others may fear their friends could disappear, including me.

Something well known for MDD is repetitive motions, personally I find my stims outside of MDD are larger and more noticable, while I'm daydreaming sometimes my repetitive motions will be spinning a pen or something as miniscule as timed blinking or eye movement. It's like keeping pace to me, like they tell you to associate a smell with sleeping if you have a hard time sleeping. The motions help keep me focused on my daydreams.

I don't like closing my eyes when I daydream, but I do like dark rooms. I also prefer background noise. It's also well known people like to listen to music while they daydream, and I do, but the noise doesn't have to be music. It just has to be constant and have some kind of pattern that I can tune out to. The noise helps distract me from what I see visually!

I haven't researched treatment because recently I've been quite good at regulating my daydreams, and in the past it's been a fear of mine. I think the only treatment there would be for MDD is finding other coping mechanisms.

As for side effects, I'm not sure what would qualify. I can get angry at daydreams the same way I would anything else, same goes for every emotion. Sometimes it just makes my mood seem out of place, I think. I also think it's obvious when I'm daydreaming, because people usually poke me or wave a hand in front of my face (THIS IS SO ANNOYING DON'T DO THIS I'M DAYDREAMING FOR A REASON). MDD sometimes restricts my real life experiences, socializing, sometimes makes me forget meals, it also makes my memory of everything worse, instead replaced by memories of daydreams. MDD is something that I deal with, while I know it's a negative thing it's something that I don't have any desire to detach myself from. That's a scary idea to me, so I suppose that's a side effect in itself.

As far as writing a character with MDD goes, you'd have to know what they were daydreaming about first. A lot of the rest of the traits, such as what noise or actions they use, would be down to their other characteristics. If I was going to avoid something, it would be to not make everything they daydream about separate to reality. Almost everyone I've known with MDD has integrated their realities in some way, whether it be having their persona personality shine through, their daydreams interact with people around them, writing about it, drawing or infodumping. Of course this might not be everyone, but I think it also depends how private of a person they are. People who have MDD tend to know they're creating something complex.

Thanks for asking me Artsy, again, this is just from personal experiences. Hope this helped! :3

[poppy-metal]

been thinking a lot about groveling for patrick after artashi kick him out after ur shutdown in bed

you start to realize you want him around... but you have to find a way to tell him that

and part of it is the very reason u were hurt in the first place. bc u like seeing the way patrick makes art and tashi happy. u just... need to trust that you make them happy too.

thinking a big realization comes when something big happens in ur personal life - good or bad - and you realize that more than anything, you want patrick.

tashi would be too clinical. art would be too soft. patrick wouldn't try to make anything better. he'd just let you... feel.

you start seeing where he's missing. the spot he should be occupying. and u decide that u have to get patrick. and u have to do it on ur own.

bc it was ur silence that shoved him out. it has to be ur voice that brings him back.

so u go to him. u consider bringing flowers - feels emasculating. consider buying new lingerie - feels like ur expecting too much. u find urself outside his door, a crumpled paper in ur hands, way too disheveled for what should be a formal affair, knocking on his door.

"ah. did tashi send u?"

an awkward silence. "no. i ... came on my own. can i... can we talk?"

I love love love this concept I love the thought of being forced to come forward with your feelings especially to someone like patrick who's so honest - feels shameful like you're a little kid apologizing after doing something wrong and you can't stop looking at your feet but he makes you look at him and oh. he's so beautiful. something in his chaos makes him so lovely. wild dark curls. flushed tan face with a smattering of freckles. his sometimes blue sometimes green eyes. they're green now. you recognize they get that way when he's serious - angry or sad or amped up or contemplative. you think he might be all of them combined. to him, you're nothing but the little brat who got him kicked out because your say is apparently more important than his.

he allows you in, thinks about throwing you out and slamming the door in your face but he's just not that kind of guy. plus you look so miserable it's kind of funny. he wants to hear what you have to say. cracks open a beer and doesn't offer you one, and leans against his kitchen counter as you settle into his worn fraying couch. he thinks you look too pristine to be in his bumass apartment but something about it, he likes. you could use a little dirtying up.

"art and tashi want you to come back. so, um. you should. I know things got complicated and intense and things were said that were mean, um. but they really miss you - I know if you just came back you could work things out and - "

"what do you want?" he cuts the bullshit. points at you with his beer bottle. he won't let you pussyfoot around. he's not in the mood, honestly, for games. the week has been miserable enough.

you look down at your hands. "it doesn't matter what I want. I was selfish before, and I'm sorry. I won't be going forward."

he looks at you. he'd laugh if he wasn't in such a shit mood. he licks his teeth and sucks in a breath. drains the rest of his beer and approaches you on the couch. it nearly swallows you - and he comes close enough until his knees are brushing the arm. leans down until your eyes are level, on of his hands resting behind your head for balance.

his breath fans across your face. beer and cigarettes and something minty. it shouldn't smell appeasing, but your mouth fills with spit, and you swallow. he's so in your space - always invading boundaries.

"so you're okay with me fucking them whenever and however I want."

you look away. "if that's what you want."

he huffs a laugh that isn't humorous. it's mean. he decides to bully you a little - you deserve it, anyway. "what if I want you to watch."

your lips purse then. displeasure. something curls in patricks chest. amusement and satisfaction. he likes pushing you more than he should. he knows you'd hate it, watching. feeling left out is what got you into this mess.

"I don't have to be involved." you tell him lightly. demure. soft. he wants to pull your bottom lip between his teeth and bite until he tastes blood on his tongue.

"I want you to be." he tells you. "you're a spoiled fucking brat and you pissed me off and if you really want me back then I want you to sit in your little time out corner while I fuck your mommy and daddy and I watch how fucking good I make them feel without you there."

your bottom lip wobbles. he expects you to tap put, call it quits, say no way. but you just nod.

"if that's what'll bring you back. I- I can take it." even if you don't want to. you know it isn't just about you. even if you like being the center of attention. "I said I was sorry. I mean it. I-"

I want you back too, you think but don't say.

you don't know how to bring that up to him when you've been nothing but a lousy brat.

"you what?" patrick prods anyway. curious.

you shake your head. "just come back. I'll do whatever you want if you will."

patrick straightens and looks down at you with a kind of predatory glaze in his eyes. his lips quirk. you're such a little bunny. hopping around in front of him when he's hungry. he wants to fuck you. badly. he wants to assert his dominance over you.

he wants you to want him.

and when you watch him fuck tashi and art - you do. you find yourself jealous - not of him taking them away from you - but of them for getting to feel him. you find yourself thinking you'd be the best out of all of them at taking his dick - you know it. and when you touch your pussy to the sight of him pounding tashi into the mattress it's because you want it to be you instead. and when you cum later with arts tongue on your clit - and patrick watching you from his place next to tashi, it's because his eyes are on you that you shudder apart so cataclysmically.

you've managed to fix things. everyone is content, you think. but you aren't. how. how do you admit to wanting patrick when you've put this wall between you. when you've made the distinction that you're dating art and tashi separate from eachother. that patrick has his own place that he sleeps and tashi bought you an apartment - so that things are more equal and fair and everyone is happy.

how do you admit to wanting patrick when you've kept the ruse up this long. when you alternate days. you spend the weekends with art and tashi and he spends monday through wednesday. you've dug a hole. how do you tell tashi and art who have already made so many compromises for you to feel happy and loved- that you want even more. that you want patrick too. that you take back everything you said at the beginning and want all four of you to be together, in one place.

they'll all hate you for being so fucking dramatic. maybe you should end things. let them be together without the complication of you there.

[3motionally3xhausted]

Kiss Kiss Fall into another old hyperfixation

Anyway, I randomly wanted to redesign the main cast of Ouran in my style/ with headcanons and my own embellishments

Here's a screenshot redraw, I'll put all the redesigns below the break bc I did all the main characters & wanna talk about the choices I made. Also I made up that uniform redesign on the spot bc I when I was doing the characters I just put them in casual clothes lmao

(I might do some others later, like Renge, Kasanoda, Yasuchika, Benibara, etc.)

Going in order of my least favorite to top favorite. And dont mind that I didn't color the clothes, that's not whats important here lmao

Mori is only at the bottom because I don't like the drawing that much, I still think the design is pretty good. Though, like right when I finished coloring, I decided a bun/top-knot would look better so it's a bit disappointing there. In my head, Mori is kind of struggling to figure out who he is & what he wants to do, which is why he follows Honey around and doesn't talk much. He does genuinely like being around the other hosts though.

Also, the undercut because A) he has the reputation for being the scary one & it kinda suits that, B) uh do I even have to say it? ...its hot He does lowkey look like Sokka from Avatar tho, especially with the blue accents

(edit: I accidentally deleted Mori's file so now this is the only copy so 😭)

Honey is next because again I think the drawing itself is a little off and the design is pretty close to Basil from Omori, which i didn't notice until it was too late lmao. One of the main things I didn't like about his character in the show was obviously how childlike he was & how girls still flirted with him even though he looked and acted 6; So now he still acts a bit childish but doesn't play it up as much & definitely has a more normal voice, not a fckn child's.

Haruhi! I definitely had to keep her glasses cuz they were really cute and kinda sold the whole 'commoner' thing in a way. But other than that I mainly wanted to balance out her femininity and masculinity to make her more androgynous/nonbinary/gender-fluid since she definitely has some of that going on in the show as is. I also gave her dark circles under her eyes to kinda show that she worked really hard to get into Ouran with low status.

Next up is Tamaki of course, getting into the characters I'm most happy with the designs of. One small thing I tried to do for each of them was give them varying hair tones; so even though Honey and Tamaki are both blond, I went very platinum-blond with him. When I started drawing him, my only real thought was "he has to be a pretty boy" so I dont have much to say about my choices, but i do think I succeeded. Don't mind the modern mullet thing, I can't stop it

Kyouya is definitely one of my favorite characters as is, seeing as he has one of the more fleshed out & heart-wrenching backstories in the show. I think the only thing I really wanted to change was getting rid of the Anime Bangs, so I just gave him this kinda sleek, kinda messy pushed-back look with a blue tint. Even though it's simple, I really struggled to come up with anything, until I found a page from the author saying smth like "I don't like the idea of him wearing neat clothes" with a picture of him in like a track suit so I did kinda the same outfit

My absolute #1 favorites, Hikaru & Kauru. They're honestly the ones that started it all because Kauru has been my favorite since I first saw the halloween episode (iykyk).

I don't know why, but I wanted their hair to be fluffier/curly and more of a natural(?) ginger color. I knew I wanted Kauru's to be redder and Hikaru's a bit lighter/blonder, but only subtly. I also gave Kauru a scar on his cheek from that time in Karuizawa, but most notably, I gave them blue and pink eyes as their signature colors. Lastly, their expressions are slightly different, because no matter how much they are in sync and try to match each other perfectly, Kauru's a much gentler soul than Hikaru, so I made Hikaru's smile a bit more snarky while Kauru's is soft.

Thank you for looking at my art/ reading my thoughts, here's an extra little design edit & comparison

(lol, I think they're mimicking Kyouya in this panel idek) (Also here you can see I tried the bun hairstyle w Mori, I think it looks good, but this is a really simple drawing so.)

[hermesgoestojuvie]

do you have any permes hcs or fic ideas?

oh anon u have no idea what you've unleashed. the permes fic ideas are all i have some days, alas, im not that accomplished at the whole idea to words transition as i wish i was. i'll go into a few more concrete ones under the read more

Quick note: So like. All the things I plan to write happen when he’s 18+. and there's no sibling or parent incest. (bringing that up cause i got an. interesting dm once.) So this is just a quick disclaimer of sorts. And I’m not hating on anyone who wants to write or read something dark! I mean for instance I have a time travel Percy/Hermes brainworm that is considered dark and probably not what a lot of people want to read, so i'll tag it as such.

The One Where There is a War

Explained a little more in detail here but I have no problem talking a little about it again. It was inspired by this one perpollo fic that I'm still looking for so I can link it, bc trust me, it is GOOD. (edit: FOUND IT!!!! HERE it’s by @ghost-bxrd)The premise of that fic was a war between the gods and demigods, and my fic is meant to draw from that as well as some elements from Lore by Alexandra Bracken. It takes place post-second Giant war, but I'm toying with the idea of having the war and all related events, like gaea's rising, happen when percy is maybe 19-20? I'm not sure yet though. I might keep the timeline as is instead. For now, just know that it is post-second giant war.

Anyways, the premise is the new war the demigods have waged on the gods, when Percy, already a conflicted party to the war, comes across an injured Hermes when he is separated from his group of scouts.

2. Warning: Untitled For Now But It Is The Dark!Hermes One

you ever read child surprise by aphroditesfavorite or the breezeblocks series by violetmoreviolent?

Both are perpollo, and while I've not caught up to child surprise (i'm two chapters in, its been in my marked for later for a while, and ive had the tab open for ages, i just keep getting distracted lol) i know that it does deal with a time-travel trope, with percy, post-second giant and titan wars, waking up in the past, the day athena and poseidon compete over athens.

from what i hear, where child surprise is perpollo, there is a dark, forcecful hermes scene, which is absolutely not meant to be shippy btw! i heard from a friend who has gotten farther than me that the aphroditesfavorite has also stated that the shippy comments received about that hermes scene has made them uncomfortable so like, dont go reading it for that guys please.

breezeblocks meanwhile has a take on dark!apollo, a more ancient apollo, in a way. an apollo that you remember IS an olympian and all that may entail. i actually have caught up with the latest updates, and it takes place in the present. i dont want to go spoiling, but I will say that like, the way its all unraveling and unfolding is just so interesting, im high key invested.

@ashilrak and @mrthology have also written an absolutely heartbreaking, gutwrenching, exceptionally glorious banger of a fic, HAUNT ME, THEN- that also really captures the otherness and ancient, almost older, aspect of the olympians.

anyways, the reason i bring these fics up is because i just really love the idea that percy was born from the sea, while also acknowledging that one of my favorite parts of the whole book series in the first place is percy's connection to mortality and to his mother. reading child surprise really was root of a lot of ideas of percy emerging from the saltwater fountain in athens at the time of poseidon and athena's competition, with the idea that the trip to the past coincides with unwanted percy's ascension. it is not the birth of percy jackson the demigod, but in half, percy jackson the deity (the other half near coming to fruition in tartarus before he forced himself to stop.)

all that^ was just a very long way to say, this fic, im not sure WHAT it is yet, or where the direction its going in is, but we have established permes in the modern era, the time slipping happens when percy is struggling with keeping his impending ascension at bay, and then percy deals with a hermes at his like. prime? if thats the word. having to reconcile that with the softer versions they know later.

3. The One I've Been Struggling With

i'm just gonna copy/paste some stuff from my outline, like just the first two pages. this is the most concrete fic wip i have lmao. its all very rambly bc thats how the process goes for me so sorry abt that! anyways, starts below:-

an au that is not modern times, but perhaps in the past? Ancient Greek times? So more “ancient greek minded hermes.” Or if you think there is a better alternative, that would work too, I’m all ears. Trickster god Hermes (which he is) and minor immortal(?) Percy.

i dont know what percy's situation is yet. need to figure that out

i was looking at a comic and thought, trickster god Hermes would definitely pull something like this on Percy. And then I thought, what if, trickster god Hermes, sees this one man (Percy) and falls in love with him. But this man seems to pine for a woman who doesn’t love him back, and so Hermes takes her shape. (I don’t know who this woman would be. Annabeth? It could be her, but I also love the bond Percy and Annabath have in general, she and him are incredible friends. Rachel? I loved her friendship with Percy too.)

Anyways, Hermes taking their shape made me laugh a bit because wow Percy is getting catfished by a god. And then I was like WHAT IF- Percy himself is a minor immortal like. A young nymph-ish type. A prince of Atlantis? A demigod turned prince of Atlantis? I am not sure what he is, but, I am going to use nymph as a placeholder until I figure this out. 

So sure, Percy is immortal, newly or otherwise, but he’s young and still not fully like, aware (I don’t know if that's the right word) about what it means to be immortal because he literally was born 20 years ago, which is normal mortal young man age. And Percy is like, “I’m as old as them and I want to live as them. I was them.”

His father is protective of course, he is aware of the way of the gods and how they chase pretty people. Poseidon warned him about gods, how they come and go, how he should never fall for one because loving one usually ends in tragedy or heartbreak- that to them hearts are easily won by tricks and discarded as easily. (Thinking again: mortal Percy turned immortal by marrying/mating with Hermes? Except, then I thought, Poseidon wants Percy to be immortal–if he thought Hermes showing interest and Percy reciprocating would allow for Percy to choose to be immortal he would probably begrudgingly allow it. So then….immortal Percy? Need to think)

The big Hermes reveal is when Percy is attacked or injured, or some other god shows up, and Hermes saves him but reveals his true form in the process. 

BACK TO THE PLOT!!!

Hermes was like, I will have this nymph, and that is FINAL. And Percy is kind even though he is not necessarily always NICE, (it may be ancient greek but new yorker percy is timeless) he's sweet and cares so much. he’s a hero and so loyal. he's brave and mischievous and genuinely good, and Hermes is just. Blown away, by the way Percy loves, so deep and it consumes you, to be the one Percy cares for, Hermes thinks there is no feeling like it.

Hermes tells himself that Percy can't possibly be deserving of mortal love. So what if golden haired Annabeth (placeholder for now, still dont know if we're going the annabeth route?) is a warrior who can run like the deer and loves the very woods Percy does. No, he needs a god's adoration, a force to be reckoned with at his beck and call to fulfill his every whim the way Percy himself makes others feel. If people would be loved the way Percy loves, everyone would be a god. 

I am laughing at Hermes taking the shape of Annabeth while talking to Percy, but also using the moment to talk up Hermes. Like if Percy is in his starry eyed about Annabeth phase, Annabeth wanting to have a sit down would be so exciting for him, and Hermes as Annabeth would be petty enough to be like lemme proselytize about myself, “have you heard of the great wonderful god Hermes?”

Percy being like, “Yeah my dad tells me every day, stay away from these people and then gives me a list of gods, why?”

Hermes immediately pissy

Percy is still talking, “so yeah Hermes is on the list too- why, Annabeth? Did something happen? you look...not well. Are you sick?”

Hermes, through gritted teeth, “with all due respect to... your father, I think you should hear about the god Hermes because he's not... whatever it is your dad said.”

Percy: Well, apparently the god Hermes fixates on pretty people and tries to get into their pants using trickery.

Hermes as Annabeth: CHOKES

Hermes-Annabeth: THAT IS SUCH SLANDER. I have never.... ahem, i have never heard of that about the god Hermes

^That was the first two pages. there's 11 more of me realizing writing is hard and i have commitment issues. but hopefully i finish at some point bc this is the fic ive poured some serious time in!

anyways, that was the three main fic ideas ive been tackling. i have had more that i immediately forget about, but just know, i can think about them all day!

[saturnskyline]

hi. so i saw this gifset on the dash, and it's entirely too late for me to be awake doing this but i am now spiraling over kim's outfits. so anyway here goes nothing 👍

(below the cut is my descent into madness. you have been warned)

now when i saw these gifs i began musing in the tags, as one does, so here they are for context:

(feels truly unhinged to screenshot my own tags but oh well)

so once i started thinking i found it impossible to stop (as often is the case with this gay mafia business) and i decided to go through and look at each of kim's outfits. for science

now i know the fandom has looked at wardrobe stuff before, so it's very possible that someone has gone through this already. BUT! i'm already in way too deep here so i'm just gonna go ahead with this dfsdhgjsdf

kim's wardrobe is, to me at least, very interesting. you get a mix of things, depending on how he is presenting himself. for example:

(here we have wik, kim, and what seems to be something in between)

it's hard to differentiate between these styles at times, and i think that's purposeful bc kim appears to dart between personas: beloved singer, distant son, solo detective... the list goes on

so first things first! i was largely right about the jacket thing! in most every one of his outfits, he has some kind of jacket on. however, the first time we actually see him without a jacket is actually in this scene where he gifts chay with the guitar:

(hasty screenshot to prove my point and yet jeff is still doing the jeff thing. bless)

okay so i was wrong about that. i think the jacketless look is definitely intentional on his part – to help him seem unguarded, especially since he is giving a gift – but the first instance is still not the scene i thought it was. however!!! there is one thing i'm really excited about, and it's about the next thought i had in the tags...

every time kim wears white it relates to chay.

now you may be thinking, wren. is that really the case, or is this claim a bit of a stretch? and now i answer.... *gestures helplessly* some of this may be a stretch! but i can explain, and i will!

let's look at the instances of kim in white then, shall we?

#1

this, to me, is a quintessential wik look. far more approachable than the full black leather, and even his typical sleuthing fits (although a lot of it is in his mannerisms tbh, remember that withering look he gave big?). now this one miiiight be a stretch... but to me it still fits my thesis bc i feel like kim dressed this way for chay on purpose so he would look more like one of his peers. just my two cents

#2

first sleuthing scene where white is involved. here, kim is investigating porsche's (and therefore, chay's) parents, and he gets a call from chay, which he ignores. everything and nothing in this scene is about chay; he's not in it but he actually is. (now if you're thinking, wren, that doesn't make any sense... you are not the only one. idk what i'm talking about. let's carry on)

#3

our boy in songwriting mode! worth noting that, with the combination of the shirt and the pants, there is more white going on here than usual. here, instead of avoiding chay, he actively remembers him and even looks a little.. fond? *gasp*

#4

the confession scene :') this one is particularly interesting bc it's the same jacket kim wears when he's in full dark mafia mode (more on that later). like most instances of kim in white, it's a dark jacket with white peeking through, and this scene might be the best instance of that. he reaches back when chay offers his feelings, and opens the door to.. a relationship? idk but something with emotions

#5

(jeffrey, sweetie, i'm so sorry about the screenshot quality. consider it retribution for your gender crimes?)

NOW. here is the look that made me start this deranged analysis in the first place. not only is it sans mafia jacket, but it is a full white shirt! he cuddles chay on the couch! they talk (?) about their feelings (?) ... well i mean, he's clearly having a hard time being vulnerable, but at least there is progress being made :)

#6

(bad screenshot, bad moment. they r matching)

would you believe the next white-wearing instance is THIS MISERABLE SCENE. the jacket's back on, he's desperately trying to put up his guard again, and he blatantly lets chay think that he never had feelings for him (lies lies and more lies... we all hate it here :D)

#7

look. i'm aware this is the biggest stretch yet bahaha. i mean my man is dressed for SCHOOL. however. the focus of this scene is him learning that chay didn't show for his audition, so it still fits in my book!! idc idc

#8

(if you look at chay's hair here, this scene also has bisexual lighti- *gets shot*)

pretty self-explanatory, he shows up to the bar to fight chay's friends and confront chay. about as chay-related as you can get

#9

finally! the Human Shirt™ !! about as on-the-nose as you can get, really. while wearing a white shirt that reads "human" and no jacket, kim has, demonstrably, his most human moment in the show: he breaks down crying over chay. cue jeff acting his heart out while his own song plays in the background (why don't you stayyyy~)

#10

it's a flashback scene, but we see kim watching chay in the studio. he's mostly guarded, but a little white comes through. good stuff

#11

putting these together bc they are two different moments but the same outfit. 1) kim learns that porsche and chay have disappeared, and 2) he contemplates the state of things after korn's "death". i put the family moment here too especially bc of what he tells kinn: "you don't have time to think about other stuff anymore", basically "eyes on the prize". now perhaps this only applies to his older brother, but in the case that we apply it to him.. we can't really be sure whether he is sticking to his personal main goal or breaking from his own advice. i suspect the former bc at this point, he seems to see chay as his main priority, despite his family's situation (again idk if this makes sense, but just. go with it. lol)

#12

dare i say? the sexiest example?? no mafia jacket, full white shirt, and yet, unlike the other white shirt instances, this one isn't about his emotional vulnerability with chay. no no, here he takes out six guys without much difficulty, in an attempt to protect chay (and then he leaves the bodies, but still! the love is there!)

(a gif for fun! worth pointing out that kim also acts to protect chay the first time he wears that white shirt... :0)

in conclusion... idk what i am talking about, and frankly, if you are still reading this post i am very impressed lol. but yay kim's clothes and motifs, fashion as a disarming tactic, and white as a color of vulnerability!

[moonlit-dreamers]

Name all your favourite TSAMS ships

fuuucckk dude

this is like asking someone which pet is their favorite you cant do this to me man ;-;

but i might as well talk about some specific ships that ive been rotating around in my brain more recently tho fair warning that a lot of these will have more abusive themes (tho i'll try to be as brief as possible since i dont want this post to go on forever lol)

off to a great start with sunvant/lord eclipse. ik a lot of ppl like to make them fluffy but they got so much toxic potential. like idk man. the power imbalance + lord eclipse being both physically and emotionally abusive is some good shit. sunvant is absolutely and purely devoted to him. nothing eclipse could do would change that. every punishment is a lesson. every reward is a blessing. every command is a job he does happily. yes, hes absolutely terrified of his lord, but isnt everyone? isnt everyone meant to be scared of their god? if he isnt scared then is he really appreciating his lords true beauty and raw power? idk man. some good shit right there

the obvious sun/eclipse. i can never escape them in any form. main dimension sun/eclipse, dark sun/eclipse, sunbeam (eaps sun)/eclipse, sunvant/eclipse. all of the above pls. but if we're going with MAIN dimension suneclipse their relationship could be sooo many things. (which is y i like the ship so much bc its so versatile!) it could be a fixer-upper, abusive, friends/enemies with benefits, you name it. anything and everything is possible with these 2 bitches and its wonderful

sun/solar is actually the first thing i shipped. even BEFORE sun/eclipse. shocking, ik, but i felt like they had sooooo much potential THAT NOBODY FUCKING SAW. like- an emotionally broken down mechanic who feels guilty over the death of his own sun and an anxious mess that just wants to make things better. how could it be any more perfect??? solar coping over his suns death with sun by accepting that hes gone but at least he has another to love and he wont be empty forever. AUGH

solar/eclipse. im fucking rabid over these 2. like idk man. i feel like theyd be so weird about potentially liking someone whos like a distorted reflection of themself. projecting their own self loathing onto each other then realizing just how similar they actually are and how it.. might actually not be that bad. then learning to love themselves by loving the flaws of the other and accepting who they are now. idk man. this is just wholesome thoughts tho dont think for a second i dont have toxic thoughts about them lol

sun/solar/eclipse (are you noticing a pattern yet?) is THE polycule. idc what you say, theyre all kissing each other. fuck you (/silly)

this is for my own au becuzzzz i wont let go of a chance to talk about them :3 we got sunshine(sunvant)/solstice(eclipse) and they are an absolute WRECK. theyre both fucked over by their past and the beginnings of their relationship is so rocky bc sunshine doesnt trust anyone + doesnt understand nor believe he deserves affection (hes also constantly wanting to go back to lord eclipse). meanwhile solstice doesnt even see sunshine as a person and rather as a project to work on (and also an opportunity to maybe better himself. maybe if he can help someone then that means he can be a better person). solar comes in later and while i havent Completely thought about their dynamics i will say that both solar and solstice are very overprotective of sunshine. they both constantly butt heads bc they both want to protect him while sunshine just sits in a corner head in hands trying to figure out how to get them to stop without having his own panic attack (they get better tho dw <3)

anyway uhhhhh i think thats all for now lol

have fun with this info ig

[reikunrei]

okayyyy so i made a post abt this last night that was just a short ramble trying to piece my thoughts together but basically... i’m just really curious how will’s (possible) powers might manifest and what they might be, and i’m trying to like. reason out how i feel about them and what i personally think would be cool or fitting...

lots of people have talked about this before (like user pinkeoni has made some really good posts abt it, and i think heroesbyler has had good discussions abt it too) and what his powers might be, and a lot of them revolve around creation or light, both of which i’m very fond of

this isn't so much a theory or prediction as it is a "these are things i noticed and i think this would work well with the themes of the show" type of spiel. it ended up way longer than i wanted it to and goes off on multiple tangents because i can't stop myself, so i'm putting it under the cut lol

it's more just for me to try and articulate what i'm feeling about it, but if anyone actually reads this mess, you're more than welcome to share your thoughts :3

with the creation stuff, it automatically makes me think of the UD taking the shape of hawkins... because we know that henward grew to hate that town so why would vecna shape the UD to look like the place he hated? i suppose it could be bc he wanted to take revenge on the town, so why not daydream about it and destroy your scale model of it to get some catharsis, right? but... then it's frozen on the night will went missing? it’s possible that the UD could have simply taken the shape of hawkins when the s1 gate was opened and made the two worlds touch, thus making the UD a true "mirror" dimension of hawkins. but i also really like the idea of will getting sucked into the UD, panicking, wishing he had his hiding places to go to to escape from this monster chasing him, and poof! now he's in hawkins and all of his hiding places are there (he's good at hiding!) but it's still the "wrong" hawkins

but anyway, i want to move on to the "light" angle because there's so many things that i love about the possibility of will's powers taking the form of some kind of light to counteract the darkness created by vecna and the UD ("hide in the light" thank u max)

i especially think it would be cool for it to take the shape of some kind of fire or flame, even if the powers themselves don't behave like fire, like it's just a stylization choice to give some sort of visual that the characters and audience can see

i don't recall if there's any specific moment where any version of henward/vecna/001 or other characters talk about burning or fire as a form of destruction in a metaphorical/symbolic sense, but we see it enough of it literally throughout the show. fire is a means of causing pain, of killing, of destroying

season 1, nancy and jonathan think to burn the demogorgon to a crisp because, hey, that'd be a pretty effective way to kill something, right? so they carry that theory over into all the other seasons

season 2, we see hopper using his lighter to maneuver through the tunnels below hawkins, and the vines flinch away from the flame. we see owens and the lab using fire to cull the "weeds" still growing out of the gate. we see will react physically to the burning, feeling the pain through the link with the hivemind, and requiring it to be cold in order to not be in physical agony

season 3, uuuh i can't remember any direct usage of fire against the fleshflayer other than the fireworks, but that's more about the explosions than the flames imo lol. but we do get the sauna test (best s3 episode hands down mwah love it) and the aversion to heat that we see in billy and also in heather, though less prominently

season 4, we get murray's killer flamethrower scene and hopper using the flaming spear to keep the demogorgon at bay. our hawkins crew relies heavily on use of fire (flambé) in order to take out vecna's physical body

so there's just a lot of fire and fire as a means of destruction. but i can't help also thinking about how fire isn't purely a means of harm. fire keeps us warm, it brings us light in the darkness, it cooks our food and brings us health. the sun, a giant ball of fire, is essential for life to exist on earth. i especially keep thinking about how wildfires are a necessity to the planet, and in places like healthy grassland ecosystems, fires are crucial to burn out old growth to make way for new, fresh green, which the animals there then rely on. letting old growth continue to sit and dry out and die isn't good. it has to be removed completely so that new grass shoots can take over

(not to mention that allowing for controlled burns and letting wildfires run their course in a regular system ultimately allows for fewer, less destructive wildfires to happen. if there's no old, dry growth to burn, then there's less stuff to catch on fire)

how does this tie into the show, though?

to me, it makes me think of the concept of simply living with your trauma, not talking about it, and pretending everything is fine, when all that's doing is creating more kindling for a bigger, more destructive fire. it makes me think of season 2 and the conversation will has with jonathan about how everyone keeps treating him like he's gonna break, and the instructions joyce and hopper got from owens to just "treat him how you normally would." you can ignore trauma all you want and pretend everything is fine, but it's going to be more destructive in the long run. instead, letting him talk about it, listening, letting him burn things down a little bit, will be healthier because it'll clear out that old, dry grass clogging everything up and leave a clean patch of earth for him to build back up with new, healthier growth. you can take a weed wacker to it all you want, but those old roots are still there

not to mention the way they get rid of the mind flayer is to "burn it out of him." they literally let the "fire" run rampant, cranking up the heat to make his body inhabitable to the mind flayer, clearing out those nasty "weeds" so will can grow on his own (more or less) unimpeded

and then there's the s1 flashback scene between will and joyce where he's drawing will the wise shooting green fireballs. joyce asks, "why does he need fireballs if he's so wise? can't he just outsmart the bad guys?" but will explains that sometimes the bad guys are smart too, so he needs the fireballs

only here, they're green because he doesn't have a red crayon. this specific tidbit makes me think of how will's powers are currently repressed in some way. at that time, it was possibly because his powers "hadn't come in" yet, if we want to follow the idea that powers are a symbol for puberty or coming of age

he hasn't "found his flame" yet, so to speak (which is what got me thinking about all of this at all last night bc of the song 'find your flame' from the sonic frontiers ost the absolute slapper that it is) and at this point it's obvious that any awakening of his powers will happen in s5 when he's no longer being suppressed, much like how he currently has to suppress his true feelings, or how he's been unable to move on from what happened to him in s1 and 2

he has to use "fireballs" because sometimes the bad guy is smart. sometimes the bad guy has a trick up his sleeve (like *checks notes* literally not being able to die) and your original plan won't work. you can stock up on weapons, you can create as many sneaky ambushes as you want, you can solve all of the bad guy's riddles, but sometimes you need the fireballs

and, once again, we come back to how i feel like will's powers won't be literal fireballs, or something he physically wields. when it comes to el, henward, and kali, as well as the other powers that we see from other subjects, it's all something that they do. and here's where i start to struggle with how i want to articulate what i think about will's powers...

to me, will's possible powers aren't a weapon in the way that we've seen other powers used, or at least framed as, a weapon

like... i guess i do think that it's something that he can "do," but it's less "i'm going to move this thing with my mind" "i'm going to go into your head and walk through your memories" "i'm going to make you see something that isn't really there." like, he himself, his person, his mind, his essence, his intent, is the power. will byers is the light. why else constantly bask him in rays of sunshine, hm?? lol

again, i want to touch on the possibility of the UD hawkins manifesting simply because he wanted it to. he didn't think about it, he didn't deliberately go like "okay and now this house is here and this place is there" it simply... was. it just happened without much of his input other than a vague wish and panic

if we want to make it into something more deliberate, it makes me think of lio fotia in promare. the movie is basically about this group of people who suddenly developed "burnish" abilities, where they contain fire and have some sort of fire powers. they're persecuted by the rest of the planet, and are treated as terrorists and locked away in prisons and experimented upon. the fire, or "promare," inside of them is a double-edged sword, where they supposedly rejuvenate their bodies, but if they don't let it burn, it instead kills them and they turn to ash. spoilers i guess (you should definitely go watch this movie i highly recommend it), but near the end of the movie, lio is taken captive by the antagonist, kray foresight, and our other main chara galo thymos tries to save lio. kray lashes out using his burnish powers and tries to burn galo, but lio launches his own flames toward galo to protect him. when galo's firefighting team finds him, he's on fire, but he doesn't notice because the fire doesn't hurt him. it's a special kind of flame that doesn't burn! in the end, in order to save the world, they have to let it fully burn one last time, and galo and lio work together to wrap the entire earth in a massive wave of fire, and it's fire that takes the form of water. it engulfs everyone, but everyone realizes that it doesn't actually burn

i'm getting off topic but !! now we start getting less into "will has fire powers" and more "his powers are light and warmth" instead. like lio and galo's combined powers and intent (that's the other thing, that final big burn is different than the rest because of the intent behind it), it's not actually about the fire, it's about its purpose

he needs the fireballs to fight the bad guys, but in the case of our "bad guy," literal fireballs don't work. henward's past is a complicated one, and a lot of where he's been led was caused by his lack of a proper support system. he was villainized for being different. even when he was found by someone who "cared" for him, it was for that man's own personal gain, not because he actually cared about henward

henward was only ever burned and then left in the cold. nobody gave him a second chance like el, nobody listened to him like will. he was forced to fend for himself on his own in the darkness. he came to rely on the darkness. vecna literally focuses on the darkest thoughts of his victims in order to gain enough power to open gates. and sure, focusing on negative emotions gives all of our characters with powers some burst of strength

but then we're shown that love is what makes them even stronger. focusing on happy memories, memories of friends and loved ones, memories of the love itself, is what allows el to overpower 001 in the lab and to close the gate in s2 and to break billy out of his tether to the fleshflayer. and even in that final showdown in s3, she's not using her powers. she's burned out. in that moment, it's not the powers themselves that save them, it's the message behind it

will's whole character is about love and understanding. he puts himself last consistently, he puts the needs of others above himself, and he does not know how to be a little bit selfish when it comes to his feelings. he's sensitive, he's kind, he's artistic, he cries easy, he relies on his friends and family to feel safe and loved, and without them, he feels lost and hurt and alone. and there might be ups and downs, but he gets that love and support from them. they always have his back. he knows what it's like to feel pain and to suffer, but to have people who will stay by your side unconditionally through it all

and that's something he can offer to vecna and his alternate versions. he can offer that love, and that warmth, and that light in the darkness. and once again, i think it would be neat if it was less of a literal flame or source of light, and that it was will who is the source of light. like, he is the example for henward/vecna to see. he's the proof that despite all the bad shit there is in the world, there are people who will still love you anyway. there's people who will listen to you and care for you even if everyone else shuts you out

and even if it does take the form of something literal, of an actual flame or glowing ball of light or more of those glowy particles, it's not a weapon like the other powers we've seen

it's also about just shining a light on all the good stuff that's mixed in with the bad stuff. again, there is no black and white (thanks brenner, you fuck). henward was miserable in his life, he hated it and was frustrated that he felt trapped in a cage, and he only saw all the bad in the world. he couldn't see any of the good mixed in (ie. the possibility that he was friends with scott clarke as a kid, or even the fact that victor was really so caring and loved his son so much) because he just assumed it was all bad and he'd have to start from scratch to get any of the good he wanted

even focusing on the negative thoughts and feelings of his victims, vecna was able to be evaded by thinking of happy memories that took place at the same time as the bad ones. "hide in the light." again and again, we see max use memories, both past and present, to free herself from his clutches. good memories that still exist alongside the bad ones. and if vecna acknowledges that there's still good mixed in among the bad, his whole source of power, the foundation for his plan, completely crumbles

if will's power has to do with light, then he'll be the one to shine the light on all of the good memories that henward had mixed in among the bad. and this isn't to victim blame this 12 year old boy who was miserable and didn't know what else to do, but it's instead about his lack of support system, and how it's understandable to have grown so jaded, but that doesn't mean everything is bad, and there's still a chance for him to come back from it and change his way of thinking

henward was a wildfire waiting to happen, and rather than having someone to let him burn a little, to let out his anger and listen, he was trimmed back and suppressed. he had his old growth left there to dry out, which only added more kindling. he was never given the room to bring in new growth

and then to really tie in the use of fire to match the theme of "no black and white," i think about avatar the last airbender, and specifically the sun warrior temple that aang and zuko visit in the final book. in book 1 of atla, aang tries to learn firebending and jumps in too quickly, ends up burning katara's hands, and swears off ever learning firebending because he doesn't want to hurt anyone with it. in book 3, zuko offers to teach him, but aang is still very timid about it because of that incident in book 1. zuko also finds his firebending ability diminishing, and they surmise that it's because he no longer has this drive to find and capture the avatar. that was his source of power, his purpose, and now that it's no longer his purpose, he has to find the true way to master firebending. so, the two boys travel to the sun warrior temple to try to find answers. there, both zuko and aang admit that they really only see fire as something destructive, but the sun warriors remind them that fire is warmth and light and life. fire can be destructive, but it is not only destructive. it's something beautiful and necessary, you just have to respect it

feels pretty fitting for stranger things, yeah?

so, to wrap this all up before i go fucking crazy:

i personally think that will's powers will predominantly take the form of fire or light

i do also still adhere to some of the creation power theories, but it also wouldn't be crazy for him to have more than one power, right? after all, el can use telekinesis, track someone's physical location, and go into their minds. that's 3 pretty different things that she can do!

will is directly tied to the behavior of the lights in s1 and called back to in s4. throughout the show, and especially in s4, will is basked in sunshine on multiple occasions. sure, those instances are mostly about his bond to mike, and how mike sees him in this halo of light all the time...

but that still ties into the theme of love. those rays of light are about mike's love for will, and vice versa. but that kind of unconditional love and acceptance is something that will have to be extended to henward and vecna. therefore: light is the key

and again, it just feels very fitting to have the key be something like fire. something that's so often villainized and only seen as bad and destructive, when it truly is something that's misunderstood. unchecked, it can run rampant and cause pain and grief, but when respected, it can bring life and healing, for lack of a better word

so far, we've only seen fire used as a means of harm. it does keep our characters safe (ie. hopper's flaming spear, the flame thrower, the moltovs, etc.) but it is wielded as a weapon first, when it doesn't have to be

fire can cause pain, yes, but fire is also passion and love. light is something to be extended, to help people find their way out of the darkness, and i just think it would be really cool to see vecna, who's always shrouded in darkness, or henward who hid away in the dark attic surrounded by candles, to have a ray of warm sunshine like will byers hold out a hand to him and try to help

[newathens]

ohhh my god, okay you know that post you made about tsats that was basically talking about how the book completely disregards anyone that helped nico before now, that was so fucking annoying to read. i was taking notes while reading and i wrote "i just don't love how it's kinda framed like nico needed a romantic relationship to feel accepted, i feel like everything that nico is saying will did to make him feel accepted is something that all the other people he knows also did" and "'i like that you want to take care of me, i haven't had someone like that in my life since bianca' - i guess hazel, percy, and jason mean nothing then"

also another big problem i had with the book overall is that it was constantly /telling/ me things and never /showing/ them. like constantly nico would /say/ that will made him happy and made him feel like he belonged but all that we /saw/ was will making nico feel bad for being a child of hades and hating on the underworld.

the themes and stuff where also being constantly just directly told to the reader in a way that brought everything to a grinding halt, like that bull guy accusing nico and will of being homophobic, that demon being like "not a guy!!", and "consent, it makes people feel safe." and like obviously these are good messages and stuff but like the bull guy could have sent nico and will on his stupid little quest without all of that and nico was literally already using they/them pronouns for the demon, i know that it depends on the person and some people would like such direct dialog on the issues, but personally, i would have 100% preferred for queer people to just exist in the story without it having to be a big deal every time.

also nyx was interesting for like 2 seconds in the middle of the book imo (the first time nico was in tartarus) and then at the end she became the most broing antagonist ever. i miss when the main antagonist had depth and nuance and a reason to be doing anything, the "nyx doesn't want this one random demi-god that she has no reason to care about to grow as a person bc she's the primordial goddess of the night" felt like a maaaaajor stretch, maybe i missed something but i did not understand why she cared At All.

(if you care about spoilers for the very end don't read this part yet)

the ending sucked sooooo bad. first of all, it had been foreshadowed throughout the book that nico would have to give something important up obviously from the prophecy, and i was actually really interested to see what it would end up being bc in other books, espesially pjo, i feel like rick did a good job with the prophecy where at the end the audience was surprised to learn what they actually meant but they still made perfect sense, but i couldn't figure out what he would have to give up while i was reading. and then it ended up being the fucking demons???? even that was stupid i thought bc in what world are these random creatures we just met as important as bob? BUT!!!! they didn't even give them up!! they took they back up to the mortal world??!!! they literally did not leave anything behind. one might argue that it was supposed to be a metaphorical letting go of your inner demons but like a major part of the book had been accepting that everyone has some darkness within them and like learning to live with it right??????? so like??? what did they leave behind.

anyway final point, sorry about the essay. at the end hades says that he is the one that sent nico on the quest and then says it's bc like percy opened his eyes and changed things or whatever and like??? how is sending nico, a child, on a quest to fucking /tartarus/ doing what percy would have wanted?????? sending children on quest and getting them to do the gods work is literally what the entire conflict of pjo was about and something that percy has been angry about since literally like the first book, i literally had to stop reading and take some deep breathes when i read that part i was so mad

[taiiunknown]

✨TONIGHT, ILL BE THE BEST YOU EVER HAD 💍

This a short story inspired by the song (Tonight ~ John legend) so I advise you to listen to the song while reading 😽

Warning: FLUFF AND I MEAN LOTS OF IT , grab a tissue 🥺, very short story sorry not sorry 😛

Summary: Y/n & SHURI has been dating for 3 years and shuri finally decide to propose Aka tie the knot 🪢💍🤭

Today shuri has been acting really weird today, I don’t know what’s up with her but she have been real distant and sneaky and I really don’t want to jump to conclusions bc we have been strong going on 4years and it has been the best 4 years of you life .

Shuri told me that she was gonna be busy all today so she might not be home at 4 like she usually do , so I decided to go to my best friend house to vent to her a bit and also catch up , but she thought it was a good idea to treat me today which was very odd but I guess she just wanted to be nice today so we ended up at the nail shop .

*NAIL SALON*

“I feel like you overreacting.” Cari said while looking at the lady who was painting her toe nails, “Ya, Maybe you’re right…I just want to know what’s wrong.” Y/n said while having her feet in the water while the nail tech finish her pinky finger (you got cute white French tips medium length with a little diamond on you ring finger). “Just enjoy the day we having together then tonight when you go home talk to shuri.” Cari said with a small smile “ya… I am, what we doing after anyways ?” Y/n asked “oh we fixing your hair so when we don’t you better get to picking hair styles , I Feel like you need a cute silk press since your hair already long asl .” Cari said “ok even though I love my curls” I said laughing .

*3hours later*

I felt like a brand new person walking back in the palace, After getting my hair and nails done , including a Brazilian wax , I felt so pure and fresh.

On the way here I was already planning in my head on how to confront shuri about her being to distant , as I got closer the living area I seen rose petals leading to the balcony by the kitchen, I hear (Tonight by John legend) playing in the back ground and was easily caught off guard by how sexy shuri look right now . She was wearing a all black long sleeve shit with gray buttons, all dark gray pants with black shoes and … WAIT A MINUTE DID SHE GET A LINE UP IN THE BACK ?!!?!?!!

Ughhhh god take me now …

Mean while i have on a cute black dress and cute black rhinestone flip flops since I didn’t expect to be doing much today,

“Shuri what’s all this for ?” I asked looking at the set up in awe (just imagine what you want) “for you Usana, you deserve this and everything that comes with it” shuri said lifting my chin so I can focus on her “including you? Bc last time I checked you was being real distant to me for the past couple of days like you don’t love me anymore , and I’m really tryna understand if I did something wrong or not so I can fix it or even m-” I said rambling non stop “ MY LOVE STOP !” Shuri said to stop me from rambling “You did nothing wrong y/n , I just been planning something special for you that I have been thinking about since the first moment we met, And don’t ever think about changing yourself okay ? Bc you are perfect and I love you with everything in my heart and I don’t want you to ever think I stopped loving you bc I will never stop loving you Mami , Do you hear me? And I’m so sorry for even making you feel that way Nkosazana yam (my princess) . Shuri said while we both tearing up a little

“Ever since I first laid eyes on you I’ve been having it all planned out y/n and even my mother knew we are soul mates before she passed..” Shuri says while slowly moving on to one knee … lord I’m finna fall out

“So will you please make me that happiest Queen alive and be my wife sithandwa sam ?”

Shuri asked with a few tears running down her face while I’m straight out finna blow a snot bubble 💀

“YES ! Yes my shuri, I will” I say sobbing a little

“YES ?!!” Shuri asks shooting back up to her feet while picking me up “YES BABY!” I say giggling bc I’m so star struck. Shuri begans to scream in happiness and I do the same.

Shuri puts me back on the ground to place the ring on my finger (imagine what you want)

“And by the way Cari was in on the plan” Shuri says with a sneaky grin “Wowww I knew she was up to something” I say laughing “yk you look really good right now Ms.Uduka” Shuri says while grabbing me by my waist “MEEE?? You look fine as always while I literally have on the most simple fit ever” I say rolling my eyes and pouting, “it’s ok if you don’t see what I see Usana, But do you mind not walking tmr ?” Shuri says getting closer to my lips “umm..it depends how good you do” I say clearly joking bc she be fucking me up for real. “Say less enomtsalane (sexy)…

THE END !!

[cheemken]

👀👀👀👀👀 *sees you reblog fnaf stuff* I KNOW WHAT YOU AREEEEE!!!!! Drayton would boast about being able to beat fnaf without getting jumpscared and then promptly play fnaf 1 and get jumpscared close to 6 AM, let out a very high pitched scream and then fall out of his desk chair~Drayton angst anon💛(who is also a fnaf enjoyer)

FELLOW FNAF FAN OMF CNDMCNDM

Oh definitely, even better I made headcanons abt the og Unova kids and how they'd play fnaf too hahaha

Anyways

Please the fact he'd be all "pfft fnaf? That game's easy."

"bet."

And instantly regrets it he does not like the way Foxy runs no he does not lmfaooo imagine him seeing Foxy run to the office the first time and he legit panics all "WHAT THE FUCK" trying to figure out what to do and ends up getting jumpscared lmfaooo he'd be all "that wasn't fair, I didn't know they could run like that"

"heh, and you said this game was easy"

"course it's easy, there's just a lotta clicking I gotta do, it's tiring"

"yeah, sure, whatever you say lmao"

But like, since I already made hcs abt the Unova kids and how they'd play fnaf might as well make concepts abt the BB E4 hahaha

Anyways, Amarys does not get scared bet, like maybe a sudden jolt if she gets caught off guard but usually when she gets jumpscared she'd just go "oh, I lost." I think she'd be the type to actually try the fangames, looking for a challenge, taking Crispin's words saying the fangames have scarier gameplay and animatronics

She still don't find it scary, she did love the challenge tho hahah

Out of all four of em, she's the closest to ever beat UCN too. And Drayton, being Drayton, was all "well, my sis beat ultimate custom night, so by extension I beat it too"

"hah, yeah right. Taking the credit of others now cause you won't admit it's a hard game?"

"it's not hard, it's just tiring keeping check on all the robots" he'd rather admit he still sleeps w a plushie than to admit to Crispin that he really did find the games a bit hard

Lacey played the VR games and SB, didn't know abt UCN, Crispin made her play UCN, she lost within five seconds lmfao

Bet she'd love fnaf world tho, like Bianca she'd love the cute models of the animatronics more than their actual models hahah I think she'd like the glamrock and toy animatronics bc like,, I think they're the cutest?? Idk, I think she'd like them more than anything else. She had nightmares abt Glitchtrap tho real, refused to go in dark places for an entire month and stopped playing VR bc of it hahaha

Crispin gives off the vibes he really had a fnaf phase and never grew outta it, he always tries to make pizza whenever he plays it or if he watches someone play it, y'know, for the immersion he says hahah but also bet he'd be the type to watch every fnaf theory video out there, especially by pkmn ver of MatPat; the type to think of his own theories, make fanart, bet he listened to the fan songs and still memorized some of them by heart. He's just like me fr—

It would be cute tho if Crispin got Amarys hooked w the lore hahah like him talking abt fnaf and telling her the story so far while she's playing, and ofc she's listening to ever word, even adding her own thoughts. They give off vibes that they'd actually try to decipher a lot of the codes and puzzles in the games, like really going above and beyond to figure out every hidden meaning hahah

I think Amarys would also read the books, Lacey's surprised there are actually books abt it, Drayton didn't bother reading them ofc, Crispin's attention span isn't made for it so he just relies on Amarys for more info abt the lore regarding the stuff within the books and connecting them to the mainline games

And bet when the movie was out Crispin got so fucking excited he invited the E4 and the Kitakami sibs to watch it with him, like he really made a lotta snacks and I know for a fact and it's canon in my heart he screamed when the song at the credits played I just know it hahaha

[sugarsnappeases]

HI BABY do you want to maybe share a bit about rita skeeter post first war…. maybe talk about her stay at the janus thickey ward … i want to hear your every thought… oh quillkiller i am SO back..

hi darling there is NOTHING i would love more!!! okay first of all, links to the mood boards we've made around the topic. obsessed w us always and forever but anyway . to business .

i think rita starts to spiral almost immediately after the quillkiller break up bc it's a loss of control (<- core rita characteristic, desperate need for control at all times, which. to me is a part of the reason for her writing the article, bc she can feel everything she's built w bella starting to slip out of her grasp and she's trying to reassert her control over things. obvs this doesn't work. bc, coupled w bella getting the dark mark, it only serves to fully knock them both of their axes)

and her words (her articles) are the main way she knows to try and regain this control, having power over the narrative, the way events are portrayed, the way people are viewed. so she throws herself into her work post break up. it's also the only thing she really has, if she no longer has bella.

but the thing is, she's obsessive, and her and bella have always orbited around each other, and rita still loves her (but she's too proud to ever admit it, even to herself <- pride is another big rita trait, bella too) so she just can't let bella go. she makes it her self-assigned mission to report on every single thing that bella does in the war, keeping track of her, trying to maintain some power over her and over the memory of bella that still wields an unacceptable amount of power over her - and it's painful bc bella's also spinning out of control and doing horrible, horrible things but rita has to know and she has to do it and she can't stop

and this kinda unhealthy behaviour comes to a head as the war draws to a close. before, throughout the war, there was only the occasional, more general thing to report on, being as one of the central features of the first war was it's secrecy. the death eaters moved in the shadows, and also at that point it wouldn't have been commonly known that bella was a death eater (i don't think the dp would ever allow rita to print that, the blacks had too much power at that point... this maybe calls into question exactly what The Article discloses... but shhhhh don't worry about it baby) so rita's articles would've been like 'Death Eaters Did This' and 'Death Eaters Did That' and rita would recognise that it was bella who had done certain things but she couldn't report on that

that changes w the end of the war. it all becomes very very Very public and also much more centred (for rita at least) specifically on bella. she can report that it's Bella who tortured the longbottoms. can report that it's Bella who's going on trial as a death eater etc etc. bc it's public now, she's sort of face to face w bella and what bella has done and what she's become in a way that she hasn't been since they stopped seeing each other. and. like i've said before. she spins out of control. and also refuses to face that.

she's obsessively reporting on bella, sneaking into the court room in animagus form, going round and interviewing anyone that might have even a sliver of an opinion. barely sleeping, barely eating, barely doing anything except writing article after article after article and chain-smoking until she crashes at her desk, head on her papers, waking up a couple hours later, downing five coffees and doing it over again. and she's not just reporting on the trial, she's digging into everything to do with the end of the war, maybe hoping to find some trace of bella there, the bella that she used to know, but mostly just desperately trying to fill her mind with something, anything, to keep herself busy, trying not to think about how that bella doesn't really exist anymore, or how the bella that's left is on her way to azkaban for life and that she might never see her again....

everyone is worried about her, she's snapping at anyone who tries to ask if she's okay or tries to stand in the way of her job, she's pushing herself so so hard and no one understands how she's still alive and functioning and still turning in articles (even if it gets to a point where the dp are like, we can't print these articles, they're getting somewhat nonsensical and people are trying to move on from the war, not drown themselves in it like rita seems to be doing) but she convinces herself she's fine and she's in control and everything's fine and maybe it would be if that lifestyle was at all sustainable or if the end of the war dragged on further but obvs that's not the case

we know that the whole end of the first war was fairly rushed through, trying to quickly bring everything back to normal and forget about the whole Ordeal, so there reaches a point, once the trials are concluded wherein the workload starts to thin out again, there's less pressure, everything is Back To Normal and that's when rita has a complete mental breakdown. bc she needed to work and to have that distraction and also that semblance of control but now there's not enough to do anymore and her thoughts and emotions can start to creep in around the cogs of the machinery that she'd tried to turn herself into and this is when we get to the janus thickey ward <3

rita just completely crashes to the point of hospitalisation bc she can't cope without her work and without bella and without anything to hold her together or give her a purpose. she has to like pause for one moment and everything just catches up to her and she can't cope with it. she's been repressing and repressing and locking everything away for YEARS until at the end she's just a shell of herself and then that starts to crumble and everything starts coming out and she JUST! CAN'T! COPE!

i think she's there for quite a while, like a year or so maybe, and she's fighting it for so long, still insisting that there's nothing wrong w her, literally attacking the healers and refusing to face things and i think maybe the thing that makes her finally realise that there's something wrong w her and that she's there for a reason is seeing alice and frank. like they've been in the same ward for months but rita has just been flat-out refusing to look over in their direction

and then maybe one day alice or frank is just like wandering around and approaches rita and she turns to look at them and it just hits her that this is Real. like when she was writing articles about what bella did to them she wasn't really thinking of them as people if that makes sense, they were just a part of the story. but looking at them and seeing them makes her realise more fully what bella had done and the fact that there was a whole fucking war and so many awful, terrible things happened and they Actually Happened. they weren't just thing for her to write about. and it's like a Pivotal moment for her

when she comes out of the ward she's like a completely different person, like she's the same, but a part of her is gone. she's trying her hardest to maintain a healthy balance, and be actually in control of herself rather than just clinging to the illusion of control that her articles gave her. i think she goes and visits alice and frank sometimes, to see them bc they're important to her now, but also to remind herself. and she spends the interim period between the wars building herself into something stable and better and actively forcing herself not to think about bella.... obvs this all crashes down around her when bella breaks out of azkaban and even before then bella is still on her mind alllll the time. like in the act of forcing herself not to think about her she's intrinsically thinking about her. i was reading our old discord chats about this while writing and you said "like a second shadow rita would refuse to look at" <- ur insane, jen, what the fuck!!!!!!!!

anyway. there's always more to say but i'm gonna leave it here!!! mwah mwah mwah!!!!

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

ough I am so sorry if your askbox is closed for the matchup thing, the pinned post says it’s open but the actual like, button, says it’s closed. So if it is just ignore this lmao.

ANYWAY my tavs name is Dmtryo and I’m gonna be submitting this for him :0

He’s a lolth drow, and a pretty ambivalent durge, he’s meant to be a bad person, but not a tried and true villain yk? Still saved the gate and allat but also fucked over isobel and got the slayer form bc he thought the prize might be cool.

Masc pref, poly or mono is fine!

Traits (bc most of them can’t be cleanly sorted into good and bad)

hugely protective of the things and people he likes. (Often to the point of excess.)

Seems like a shit show. Very well put together.

Often comes off as cold, but is far friendlier than people think. (As long as he doesn’t perceive you as a threat)

Will very happily murder anyone who does come across as a threat.

Brings his partner the severed limbs or bones of the creatures he has killed like some kind of fucked up cat

Violence is his go to solution for conflict but he is hesitant to kill innocents (unless he’s getting paid)

On the note of getting paid, there’s very little he won’t do for a pouch of gold and the promise of gore.

A/N: Hey, no prob! @cakeboxie (LOVE your blog handle btw lol) I just waited until the ask box reopened to answer this, lol. So now that the time has come… Let me see… Hmm. Because you specified you wanted a male match, I match your Tav with… Astarion!

🩸Astarion would be the perfect match for your Dmtryo! Astarion is pretty ambivalent himself- he’s certainly not a golden hero, but I couldn't exactly call him a villain either. He does possess a moral compass, but it’s broken, and often centered around what’s best for himself, which is one of the reasons I think he and Dmtryo would be good together. 

Astarion is fiercely protective of his things, and the people he finds himself coming to love. Everything he ever had was once taken away from him by Cazador, so anything he does manage to attain, be it physical objects or relationships, he feels he must guard intensely. Once Astarion falls for Dmtryo he is very protective, almost possessive over him. Realistically, Astarion knows that Dmtryo is his, but that doesn’t stop him from being suspicious of every NPC they talk to. I mean, who knows? What if they’d try and steal his love? He has to stay on guard. 

Although he’s not a drow himself, Astarion is no stranger to fleeing from the sunlight, and operating in the dark. He’s lived as a vampire spawn for two-hundred years after all. Although he may harbor some residual suspicions about lolth-sworn drow, so long as Dmtryo’s loyalty to Astarion and vice versa comes before their loyalty to any God, Astarion has no qualms about being partners with a lolth-sworn drow. 

I also loved how you described Dmytro as a fucked up cat because if any of the companions were to be compared to a cat, it’s Astarion. He’s sneaky, and secretive, and very persnickety when it comes to certain things. He also has a tendency to swat/claw anyone he perceives as dangerous, and being rather vulnerable, that means most people he meets end up on the other side of his blade. But the great thing is that it isn't a problem for Dmytro. Dismembering or murdering people, so long as it’s the right people, is just fine with him!

I can honestly see either Spawn!Astarion or Ascended!Astarion working out with Dmytro long term as well. Spawn!Astarion more so if your Dmytro chooses to try and fight the dark urge inside him, and Ascended!Astarion if Dmytro chooses to embrace his Bhalspawn heritage. 

Either way they end up a notorious power couple, one very few in Baldur’s Gate would dare to cross. 

Be it by taking on mercenary jobs or ruling as their respective godly selves, I see a very lucrative, very influential couplet taking charge of their future. ;) 

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

dante and/or the whole dmc 5 crew for the blorbo meme? :)

oh ho HO thank you for this, I love the DMC gang and don't talk about them enough

disclaimer/note to begin with: they all have pretty privelege and they all need to stop being put in situations, because that's just who they all are as people/chew toys of fate

second disclaimer: I made this post while drinking a big old bottle of beer so if this commentary goes off the rails the further you go down the post then that's why

also I'm putting these under a cut bc this got really long

first up: dante!!!

fewer boxes crossed off than I was expecting but when I sat down and thought about it there were some I couldn't justify, e.g. in my heart I want to believe I can fix him and he needs me but let's be real the only thing that ever had the power to fix Dante is getting his bro back </3

also I say most fandom takes are incorrect bc my main contact with the DMC fandom was back in the day where it was very common to portray Dante as this LOL SO RANDOM horndog (i.e. as if his projected persona was his... actual deep-seated personality) and I am a depression Dante truther. not sure what the current fandom mentality on Dante is, if things have moved on then disregard

next up: nero!!!

gonna be honest, I wasn't too fussed about Nero until DMC 5 and then he quickly leapfrogged into my heart because oh my god this poor, poor, POOR kid. born to be the straight man in a universe of wackos. trying SO HARD to keep this mess of a family on track but if you push him so help him sparda he WILL turn this car around.

I need more Nero. I need more Nero and Kyrie, specifically. I need to see them just living their average everyday lives where Nero slops his way home covered in demon guts and sluices off then puts a load of laundry on and helps Kyrie with dinner.

also hahahahahaa definitely nothing in there about growing up feeling like an outcast so thoroughly one might as well have had a fucked up demon appendage, nope, nothing like that!!!

V aka DOUBLE BINGO

I have a thing for pasty ass dark haired skinny twink vaguely feeble romantic poet creatures okay even though I would get so frustrated the tenth time I asked him a simple question and he replied with a blake quote

but also HE WAS HIS OWN PERSON he was REAL he was ALIVE and now he's NOT because he WASN'T VERGIL, he was HIMSELF, he was HUMAN, and now he's GONE but also he lives on but also V as an individual is GONE but they'll still see glimmers and hints of him in Vergil and be reminded of him but but but (bites fingers and screeches)

THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA

okay so all of my years of fangirling aside I have to be upfront that if I ever met Vergil I would want to tear his smug disdainful face apart with my bare hands in a matter of minutes

HOWEVER in the realm of fandom, the only reason he ranks lower than V is because V exudes that high fructose twink timothee chalamet energy

I cannot fix him. he does not need me. and yet. whomst among the ranks of Vergil fancreatures has not sat up late at night in their early/mid-teens frantically typing barely-disguised self-insert fanfic where we DO fix him, where we are the ONLY ones who can fix him, where we are the Eva to his Sparda, washing away the sins of his past and anointing him with love?

Vergil is the most anti-hero of all time. he has it all. he's a genocidal maniac, except maybe he isn't because maybe the qliphoth was going to grow there anyway and he just got in on the demonic gentrification scheme at the right moment. he literally has an unspeakably tormented and tortured past.

he has mommy issues. he has daddy issues. he has brother issues. he has son issues. he's a weeaboo. he loves poetry. he hates you, both generally and specifically. he has the hauteur and arrogance of christian fifty shades. underneath it all he just wants desperately to be loved and protected. his idea of bonding is a no-holes-barred beatdown.

he has an extremely weird obsession with his brother, whom he hates, but loves, but hates, but loves, but hates, but wants to spend forever with, but hates, but would kill anyone if they tried to hurt him. literally every bad thing he's ever done originally stemmed from the need to be strong enough to protect what he cares about (DANTE) because he can't go through losing his family again.

i love him <3

[atopvisenyashill]

sidebar- listening to a podcast about this season of survivor w two former players (it was rob cesternino and cassidy clarke, if u watch survivor) and there’s a player on this season, venus, who’s been the outcast for a while, but last few weeks all her opps have walked out one by one and rob goes “i think she’s got kind of an arya stark arc going on” and before he could finish cassidy whispers into her mic “she’s no one” it was hilarious aksjd (he meant as in venus is going through her kill list and might get to the end alive) ANYWAYS-

some changes i’ve noticed

i feel like part of why the series stumbles is bc it doesn’t discuss lyanna as much as it should. having that added “we’ll talk about your mother when i return” scene right before robert & ned’s talk about jon snow’s mother And the targaryens was really good tho, narratively linking the two concepts.

HOWEVER i think like rhaegar & robert, d&d saw lyanna more as a puzzle than a person, but the whole point of lyanna is that she was a living breathing girl to ned and her death completely wrecks him in an irreparable way. so when they cut out his entire milk of the poppy dream sequence later on, it cuts out that she wasn’t just the answer to a riddle of “who was jon snow’s mother” but instead an integral part of the narrative whose absence defines the people ned and jon become. but i’m getting ahead of myself bc they haven’t actually changed anything here yet and the scene where ned and robert stop to talk is really good and more or less what happens in the book aksjdj.

i don't understand why they don't have catelyn thank summer for saving her and bran from the assassin. just another mind boggling decision and weird, unnecessary departure from cat's character

another unnecessary change is taking away ned’s fashionista tendencies smFh they don’t get nedcat at all

the way jaime is like oh ned is gonna be my bestie we’re gonna trade war stories we’re gonna flirt i’ll tell him about his brother’s gruesome death and he’ll be so grateful he’ll become MY best friend instead of robert’s and meanwhile ned is like, openly snarling the whole speech. the way ned’s mouth drops open at the GALL of jaime to say killing aerys felt like justice and jaime looks DEVASTATED and PERPLEXED that this man hates him so much when they’ve talked twice aksjdjd

okay first of all I DO IN FACT GET THE CHANGE of having bran say he had to have fallen whole robb insists he never falls, and we all know this scene lives forever in my mind but i also think it’s a) another weird departure from bran’s canon, very stubborn character and b) a PALE imitation of the talk in the dark between robb & bran where they say they’ll go on an adventure

that said, there’s something that Really fucks me up about the North having this culture wherein the sick and disabled are sent out in the winter to fight and die because they’re not like, worth feeding, but at the same time As A Disabled Person i guess finding it almost enticing to be given to the chance to like Die For A Reason ya know. you always have that out. And then here’s poor sweet Bran who it just never occurred to him that he would have to take that out and now it’s all he wants. anyways i’m crying ig

it’s the stubborn streak in him. he doesn’t want platitudes, he doesn’t want to be strong. his whole life has changed for the worse and he just needs to sit in it. it’s not fair and it all sucks and he’s just a kid!!!

the robert and barristan scene is another good one and it’s bc it plays into robert’s character, really elevates the elephant in the room of rhaenys & aegon, and the way barristan is just. disgusted. standing there consumed with loathing for everything he’s become, refusing to engage with being a driving force for why everything is this way. dragging jaime in to humiliate him in front of barristan, to humiliate barristan in front of jaime. the way barristan almost reaches out to jaime emotionally in a way he refuses to reach out to robert, but robert only gets angry and picks at them more.

“he said the same thing he’d been saying for hours. ‘burn them all.’” OH NOW ITS NOT SO FUN ANYMORE IS IT WISE GUY

gonna be honest i think the weapon talk between jorah and rakharo is one of the sexiest scenes in the show, listening to two dudes who are hit in REALLY different ways talk about their favorite ways of murdering people is really fun and hot to me also elyes gabel and amrita acharia were wasted on this show, they would have killed in later seasons smh

i don’t understand why they made the drogo storyline like a REAL TYPICAL sort of rape romance story. what was the point if they were just gonna be ~in love~ at the end anyway. such a weird choice.

do i love the change from “fear cuts deeper than swords” to “what do we say to the god of death”? like it’s fine. they should have kept both if they liked that line so much. the actor who plays syrio is so good tho he’s got such great chemistry with maisie, you really understand why syrio impacts her so much

that ending close up on ned’s trauma face is so good it’s such a shame they CUT THE DREAM SEQUENCE WHERE WE FINALLY UNDERSTAND WHY NED IS LOSING IT WATXGING ARYA GET FAKE STABBED IN THE GUT. ITS FINE. IM FINE.

general thoughts

“it’ll get easier” jorah is a useless binch just like aemon the dragonknight. what’s the point of your sword if you don’t kill your girl’s evil husband. go fall on it shithead.

i do love that jorah is like “ned is a little bitch for trying to behead me for slavery even tho it’s been illegal in westeros for like hundreds of years. but also maybe having a king that allows behavior like that is kinda crazy actually bc viserys is not right in the head. i’m not gonna reflect on that at all tho” iain glenn the actor that you are.

love the lannister breakfast scene. the way tyrion clearly knows but is pointedly talking around it. jaime thinks tyrion is the height of comedy and wants them to have a nice breakfast but cersei leaves haughtily halfway through even tho tommen & myrcella are having a good time. the Loaded Look jaime gives tyrion during the “life is full of possibilities” line, where he like,,,, Almost realizes Tyrion is saying something to him here emotionally about being disabled before he puts it aside to be self involved about the incest.

kit’s acting is always several degrees of magnitude better when he’s with other starklings. idk if he’s trying harder or if maisie sophie and isaac are so good they infect him with acting abilities.

there’s something fun about the cycles continuing bc joffrey gets drunk & belligerent like his father has a thousand times, but he doesn’t have half the skill or charm as his father and just gets his ass completely handed to him by a practical toddler with zero training. and he’s so embarrassed it helps snowball this situation into a war.

the kid who plays micah is real awkward. i'm not bullying i'm just saying.

“we all pray for prince joffrey’s full recovery” “pity you didn’t spare a prayer for the butcher’s boy” GET HIS ASS

have i mentioned how much i hate aiden’s acting. oh my god i’m not gonna get through this rewatch aksjsj

“war was easier than daughters” ned every emotion you’ve ever felt is harder to deal with than the war that’s why you’re so fucked in the head be so fucking fr with me rn lmao

septa mordane is a terrible guardian i think this can’t be understated

“she must take his side even when he is wrong” “but how could you let her marry someone like that?” GET HIS ASS

bran literally shivering with fear as nan talks my baby!!!!!!!!

“ah the starks. quick tempers. slow minds.” CAN WE SKIP THE EVIL VILLAIN MONOLOGUES TO THE CAMERA PLEASE

“i think we can outfox a ten year old” jaime you couldn’t even kill that ten year old correctly let’s walk before we run

nedcat giggling over ned throttling petyr and then making out in front of petyr’s establishment is amazing i’m literally so depressed right now i hope petyr cried into his pillow that night

the way both ned AND benjen just give the most ass goodbyes to jon for no good reason. are they TRYING to give him a complex oh my god

i think i’m on episode 4. once i get past season one i think it’ll be easier when the writing gets worse actually.

[rbdbrainworms]

ok right, let's think about this from diego's perspective for a moment

lets start at the baseline that ur the spoiled son of one of the most powerful man in the contry, the ✨hottest prettiest most popular coolest boy in ur whooole rich kid elite school✨, and you just started dating this rly hot girl

except u also went out on a date w some older girls on the side and got drunk and totalled a car and ended up in the hospital and now u have to do community service and ur powerful dad is manipulative and crazy and overbearing and u dont know how stand up to him and ur home life is a disaster and ur actually really unhappy with your lifestyle and you very likely have a precocious alcoholism problem and you feel u have to hide the things youre most passionate abt - like music - , repress who you might actually want to be and bow down to your father's pressures. but its fiiiiine as long as you dont think abt it too much, right?

right, anyway! the girl ur dating complains abt this annoying new girl in you ~elite~ school, the daughter of a famous singer. apparently shes weird, and mean, and combative, so tacky and rude and unfiltered and disruptive. this new girl heard some mildly incriminating things you and your girlfriend talked abt, and now shes worried. your attitude is, of course, to go up to the new girl and threaten her for no real reason

and she is, well. much like described: strong-minded, agressive, irreverent, no filter. says and does whatever she wants. talks back to you and then some. you grab her and shes like. who tf are you. no i cant get u my moms autrograph. you threaten her right out and shes just, im sorry, are u chapolin colorado?? i think u forgot ur antennas sweetie

(sorry just. her dialogue >>>)

(she also lights up a sinalizer inside as bus beside u bc of it, but you never find that out)

ok,. you go on to your little rich kid school club. you get attacked and stabbed on the way to ur secret community service - yknow, over the drunk driving, - and a little child has to live on the street bc ur dad arranges that his brother is wrongfully arrested over it. youre not happy abt it, necessarily, but also youre not the type of person who would do anything to stop it, especially against your dad

your dad humiliates you and tears you a new one and you're all very frustrated w life. but you bow your head to him and move on, as always, because what else can you do?

you get drunk, again, and ends up kissing your girlfriends' best friend

the next day you stumble upon that girl in the hallway, and provoke her - like before, she claps back immediately. didn't she realize already this is your place, and the rest of your friends', and not for people like her??

heres the answer: she starts fighting your friend for calling her mother a slut (in not so many words) and you get in the way - and she reads you and your dad for filth. then, she gets her finger right at the center of the wound - she'd much rather have her people and her mother's artist crowd and revealing clothes and ""lack of class""" over having a corrupt father who'd sent someone to jail for a crime they didnt commit.

see, she is the type of person who wouldn't let something like that happen without consequence .

you dont really have much to say to that, or much to do really, except. seethe

you say to your friends, the best thing to do is to ignore her!

and then, well, you dont

by the way, you are the ✨prettiest, hottest, most popular boy in school✨ and this girl, as established, is inconvenient, weird, shameless, uncontrollable, she has no class or respect for you or your friends, her makeup is too dark, her hair is strange, her humor is cutting, her bad temper is obvious. you, well, you can have aaaany girl you want - so you're definitely not and would NEVER be attracted to her at all!

anyway, a gossip rag comes up and talks abt you kissing yours girls best friend. even though it makes absolutely no sense for this new girl to be the one to do it - she doesnt even know you all, and really doesn't seem like the kind to say something behind the back rather than in your face- and even though you've talked a grand total of two (2) times (and "talked" here is being generous), you're suddenly Convinced , it Has to be her. bc....... her mom is a famous singer. so. irrefutable proof. right there.

that, ofc, justifies you throwing her overboard into a lake, even though she doesnt know how to swim. all your friends think you exaggerated, after all you couldve really hurt her, maybe even killed her - you shrug and laugh it off.

"roberta is very rough" you say. SOMEONE has to show her whos boss, someone has to show her who REALLY has the power here, you tell them. obviously that someone has to be you

could it be possible that you're trying to feel powerful after your recent fuck ups and your dads latest humiliation? is it possible you overdid it bc this girl pushes aaaaall your buttons ? that it irritates you that she's so strong-minded and defiant and you're not?🤔naah don't worry about it

so, she finds out you couldve KILLED her. and then she throws ur 15k guitar into the water as retaliation . as one does. and you are LIVID. it is a 15k guitar, and also the one thing you really actually love - music

as the very not-unhinged person you are, you threaten to drown her, (again). she says she isnt scared of you, and you insist that she is. you tell her you have A LOT of power (do you?) and if she "continues with the gossip rags", which she denies writing, you will certainly "put her in her place"

she clearly has no framework for what she should or shouldnt do, or who she should or shouldnt mess with. but that should show her

so she's actually pretty freaked out. and leaves. you don't see her for three weeks

do you take this is as a win?

nope! you, the ✨ hottest, prettiest most popularest boy in school✨ apparently did not have much better things to do these 3 weeks than obsess over her, bc the first thing you do upon coming back is going out to find her, threaten her (you have to cuddle her to do that, for some reason) and put in place a questionable plot to try to get her expelled

see, you tell her, you always get what you want (do you?) and the thing you want THE MOST is for her to leave the school

why do you care SO much abt expelling her? you've talked what, 3 times. you've certainly had worst, more violent altercations with other people in this meantime. you don't know that she would mess with you again. if you're SO powerful and able to show her who's boss, why worry so much about making her , in particular, leave? weeell, don't worry about it

you're so happy about this plan and managing to screw her over, that you get drunk again! in celebration, you toast to the girl who made you the happiest lately - roberta pardo! . you kiss a pillow as if its her. when your actual girlfriend hears you, she thinks it means youre cheating on her - and who can blame her?

and then! the plan fails. bc ur a villain and the power of friendship defeats you!

also, she's extremely clever. you'll realize in the near future, its rare that you manage to outsmart her - and the times you do, you usually regret . but let's not get ahead of ourselves

you're furious. you vow shes "going to pay" ;.

pay for what? she hasnt actually done anything, other than respond to your attacks - all of the times you've met, she's always been answering your own agressiveness, standing her ground instead of bowing her head.

you have so far: threatened her on sight, insulted her family, thrown her in a lake, accused her without evidence, threatened to drown her, and tried to frame her for theft and get her expelled. she has... insulted you back, thrown your guitar on a lake after you threw her, and outsmarted you, defending herself against your accusations

now, not only did she escape your little plot, meaning she will stay in school, where you'll see her everyday, she doesn't even have the decency to be intimidated anymore! now she has the audacity of saying she's not scared of you, that you're the one who is going to pay, and this has just begun.

you hear all of that very closely, by the way, because you're pushing her against a wall

youre even more ... furious and dedicated to ~~bringing her down

you've known her for what ammounts to one (1) week.