#Anon you're so big brained for that

[thewindandthestars]

WHO ARE YOU ANON??? REVEAL THY SELF THIS INSTANCE ‼️

[lovelyhan]

dunno if ure comfy being sent nsfw links but i IMMEDAITELY thought of streamer wonwoo and reader when i saw this 🫠🫠 https://twitter.com/sugarfemdom/status/1662648169510096900?s=46&t=-M95tJ5hXqBg8X7CbBlW4A

02:35 — WONWOO

🔞 nsfw link 🔞

i'm sorry but you're going to hell. straight to the boiler room. no excuses!!!!

p.s. read underlying pretense for a good chunk of context!

this was meant to be a regular cosplay-fitting session. you've been receiving new sets to try both from thoughtful fans and sponsors in abundance lately and, while you have a rather...unconventional tradition with these things when your boyfriend comes into the picture, you really just wanted to try them on before hopping into the shower and preparing for your next stream.

meaning: you were being serious when you told wonwoo that you're not trying to get your brains fucked out while he defiles this precious, rather revealing catgirl set that borders on lingerie.

but of course, things rarely ever go your way.

"d-daddy, fuck."

wonwoo's grip on your hips is iron-tight as he pins you to the edge of the mattress—cock fucking into you with relentless precision. he gives you little room to squirm around and with how his eyes are pulled into a mixture of intense concentration and carnal desire, you don't think he'll let you get away anytime soon.

the ruby red mood lights paint his skin in a swath of erotic gusto as wonwoo mutters, "hold your thighs open for me. you can do that, right, baby?"

you nod all too eagerly—his perfect, obedient cockwhore—before doing as you're told. your eagerness frees up his hands and wonwoo wastes no time taking your pretty face in his grasp and leans down to capture your lips.

usually, it's all teeth and tongue whenever your mouths come together in the height of passion—a dizzying bout of lust taking the reins from what's left of your rationality. this time though, wonwoo kisses you firmly, thumb stroking the high of your cheekbone and you swear you feel him smile against you.

"beautiful baby," he whispers—his calculated thrusts slowing to a crawl as the praise makes you preen with a pathetic whimper. "you're cruel for thinking i could ever keep it in my pants when you look so fucking hot in this. who's the fucker that sent these to you anyway?"

fuck. you know it's only been a few weeks since you started officially dating, but you don't think you'll ever get used to wonwoo praising you so easily.

"i-i don't remember," you tell him honestly and your boyfriend merely chuckles, rising just a bit to give his hips more leverage to decimate your poor cunt. "shit. right there, daddy!"

the head of his cock rams against your cervix again and again and again—a sob caught in your throat as each drag stimulates you to no end. one of the perks of fucking you at the edge of your bed is that wonwoo gets to control just how deeply he can penetrate you.

he notes your desperate moans with a smirk, one of his large hands fitting snuggly around your throat as the other lingers by your face. when your boyfriend's thumb prods against your spit-slicked lips, you're all too eager to suck on it like a piece of candy.

wonwoo groans at the sight—the practiced cadence of his thrusts faltering for a millisecond before resuming the punishing pace he's set.

"don't you ever fucking wear this on your streams," he growls, hooking his other thumb into your mouth. when your boyfriend leans down again, you can feel his hot breath fan against your face. "for my eyes only. got that?"

in the back of your mind, you feel like you've had this conversation with him before. but the difference now is that you're no longer toeing around a complex situationship that you were too afraid to give a name to.

this time around, wonwoo is your boyfriend.

your extremely possessive boyfriend, apparently.

"only yours, daddy," you mewl as wonwoo molds your lips into another kiss that feels much too sweet for someone who's just staked his claim on you.

it brings you over the edge anyway.

the sensation of your velvet walls clamping down on his length when your orgasm slams into you is enough to drive wonwoo into bucking his hips against yours erratically. your boyfriend rides out the way your sweet pussy milks his cock for his release like it's begging him to fill you to the brim.

and who is he to deny you what you so desperately want?

wonwoo's hot cum paints your insides in his colors as your boyfriend engraves the sound of you screaming his name into memory. not that he doesn't have enough of that to go around, but whenever he makes you come, wonwoo likes to think it's a brand new experience each time.

though he wouldn't ever say it aloud, there's nothing more that he wants than to share even more of these moments with you.

"no, seriously, who sent you that set? didn't you already get rid of that old twitter account? i saw you deactivate it with my own two eyes."

you giggle at the clipped tone that accompanies wonwoo's words as he helps get you cleaned in the shower. after you wipe off a clump of soap suds that landed on his nose, you stand on your tippy toes to give him a kiss.

"i never gave my address out on twitter though, so it might just be one of those more daring cosplay brands trying to get me to become an ambassador," you reassure with a ditzy smile. "joke's on them though 'cause the only person who'll see me wearing cat girl lingerie is you."

when wonwoo grumbles, "damn straight," under his breath before turning on the shower to rinse off, you consider it as a win in your book.

⟢ end notes: it's been a hot minute since i've acknowledged the existence of gamer!daddy!wonwoo so it's kinda refreshing to write them fucking around again :') i ALSO don't mind being sent nsfw links as long as there's a heads up lol we're all horny here <3

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia

Your previous post regarding burnout really resonates with me as I'm currently struggling through a mountain's worth of uni assignments.

I hopeyou're being compassionate to yourself where you can. I know you rely on your writing for income but ould cutting down to working on only 2 or 3 fics instead be a viable solution?

Because longterm I don't think that even your insanely impressive skills can hold up to that kind of pressure.

Maybe if you cut back a little you'll be able to enjoy your hobbies again and rest a little more.

I know that I'm not the only reader that wants you to take care of yourself x

Hi anon,

Firstly, good luck with all those assignments! I do not miss the grind of uni when all the assignments suddenly seem due at the same time and it's like 'oh fuck' and it just...is truly exhausting. Remember to take a break after if you can!

I am trying to be compassionate where I can. Working on expanding my capacity / juice left in the tank is actually a big priority with both therapists this year, and it's something I'm actively chipping away at.

Unfortunately cutting down fics is not really something I can do because it would personally stress me out more to put a lot of things on hiatus like that. Underline the Red is already on hiatus, and The Nascent Diplomat on my end is finished, and I'll take a few months off after that before starting the next installment.

Ideally I will be finishing out some fics that will clear my calendar a bit more over time. For example, A Stain that Won't Dissolve won't last forever, and isn't going to be replaced by anything new (Palmarosa will likely slot into that space and I'll be able to work on it more). Underline the Black will be replaced by Underline the Red, and Blue and Gold will be replaced by Underline the Silver.

Eventually, ideally, I'll be working on a smaller and smaller load until I'm at about 2-4 projects (which is how I used to work). Also quite a few of my projects only update once a month or every few months, and that helps a lot. It's just that I have too many fics where I'm on a more regular schedule (Stain, Palm, Black) and normally I only have one or two fics that are on a more regular schedule, so yeah, I am looking forward to that slowing down!

But putting something on hiatus just makes me feel more burdened and overwhelmed than knowing I'm getting closer and closer to wrapping something up. It's just how my brain works! I am a finisher, and while that's really good for not abandoning projects (which is extremely rare for me and tends to only be very short projects or PWPs which I will turn away from), it's less good when I have too many projects lmao. I've gotten better at holding back (there's three fics I'm dying to write right now, which is an Efnisien/Kadek fic that I've already started but not posted anything of, Silver, and Red).

So yeah, I will be cutting back. I've already started. The Nascent Diplomat is no longer on my schedule, which means for the next 3 months while it's still posting, I don't have to write anything for it. That's lovely because I can still share in that world with no extra labour (it's edited and everything). Likewise, Stain and Black are both in their last act/s now. That's still a lot of chapters for both, but it feels good for me to know that both will likely be finished out this year.

But we are getting there! So yeah the view is to cut down on projects, but organically (by finishing out stories and not replacing every single one with new titles, only some of them) rather than forcefully via hiatuses. I mean obviously if I get too sick I will have to go on hiatus and I've done that before, but so far it's looking like I've written enough chapters ahead (most of May is written) that I can take about 2 weeks off from writing in April, and that will help a great deal as well. :)

Anyway, take care with your assignments too! I do not miss that part of uni at all

[softhairedhotch]

omg speaking of male ocs/reader . i just wanted to share about this One trope that got me CRAZYYY is secret relationships... the one's where aaron and oc are like pretty much dating but are trying to keep it a total secret from the rest of the team because #professionalism.... but they keep making little slip ups bc they're just so in love 😭😭 i think its just SOOO CUTE 😭😭😭

N THIS ONE SCENARIO THATS STUCK IN MY HEAD is like oc ended up sleeping over at aaron's place then in the morning his phone rings. but male oc doesn't realise that it's AARON'S phone (and not his) so he answers half asleep. but then on the other end of the line is another team member who's like "oh sorry- thought it was... i must have dailed the wrong number- wait... 🤨🤨" then male ocs like HORRIFIED and aaron soon wakes up to the sound and he's also SHOCKED but he tries to put on his #serious professional gruff voice and coming up with some excuse like they drank last night and then dozed on the couch or smth 😭😭 then subsequently aaron n reader have to keep defending themselves by saying it was just a #bro activity and that's they're just Bros n nothing more

my god... just thinking about how cute aaron is when he's flustered 😭😭😭 like how he has the 🥺 eyes but tries to cover it up with a 🤨😐🙄 "i don't know what you're talking about . can we talk about work now". LIKE the episodes when the team teased aaron when he was going out w beth My GODDDD HES SOOOO ADORABLE WHEN HES IN LOVE 😭😭😭😭 like his boyish grin n the way his face crinkles... i cannot deal with this

- 🤲

yesssss i LOOOVEEEE secret relationships sooo much, especially when it's like cute lil gestures during work or getting each other coffee n kissing when no ones around or cuddling at work bc they have to share a room and no one's gonna know <33 (unless one of the team happens to burst into the room bc they think aaron or the oc is in trouble somehow 🤭🤭🤭 and sees them snuggled up on the bed all cute 🤭🤭🤭 as they're holding their gun bc they think they were gonna find an unsub with them or them missing but noooo they're just wrapped up allllll cute in each other's arms 🤭🤭🤭)

OUGH I LOOOOOOVE THAT SCENARIO!!!!! heheh i love the idea of penny calling and being like "hey sir i- wait a moment i thought i called- no i know i did bc he's on speed dial so that means- oh my GOD you and boss man are CANOODLING" and oc/reader is just like "nonono i accidently slept here!!" n she's like "WHY WERE YOU THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE 🤭🤭" and aaron wakes up n takes the phone and is like "he came over to help me with jack and we drank a lil now we're asleep on the couch" and idk if she'd do this fr but maybe penny can track the phone real quick and she's like "then why does it say you're in the bedroom rn 😏" LMAOOO and bless them they're just trying sooooo hard to brush it off!!!

"we're just brooooos man bros gotta cuddle the homes sometimes!!!" 😭😭 it'd be lowkey so funny if oc is just like "don't you think aaron deserves a cuddle or two, guys? it ain't gay i swear man he's just in need of some love from the homies yknow. hey morgan maybe you should snuggle him next-" "absolutely not" "-i'm sure he'd love that! he just needs some loving, man" LMAOOO

and yesssss they'd tease his sooooo much <333 he'd get all flustered bless him and it'd be adorable and he'd be wanting to tell everyone they ARE together bc he wants to show oc off sooo much and give him work smooches and just be like "yeah this is MY BOYFRIEND!!!!" bc he's soooooo cute and in love but for now he just gets used to the teasing from the team (dave and penny mostly, but sometimes emily and spencer catch him off guard) hehe <3 it'd be like that scene where rossi looks at him once and just KNOWS he got a date with beth or something hehe and he goes "attaboy 😏" after he confirms he has!!! OUGH i neeeed him to smile like that at the thought of dating me SO MUCH and for rossi to be proud AHHHHH

and just the idea of a male oc making him all smiley and goofy and happy again <33 he kinda becomes how he used to be again GODDD like he's just happy again GODDDD 😭

his SMILE DJSKDJ GODDDDDDDD I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOOOOOOOVE HIM

also i currently have like 5 male oc's written up for him (like fics planned out or ideas for it) LMAOO they're all mostly from when i was in the fandom in 2021 but i wanna go back to the ideas sooooooo much 😭 and i made a new one a few days ago for a lil one chapter fic i wanna post hehe, it's so dramatic tbh but seems to also end in smut LMAO so hopefully i can get it out sometime 💪just need to write aaron being gay without it being reid or morgan amen (even tho i LOVE hotchgan)

thank you sm for the ask hehe <3

[fobnsfwdoodles]

OHHH MY GOD THAT BULL ANDY COMM….. foaming at the mouth and thinking awful things

listen ik it’s a myth that bulls get mad at the color red but walk with me here

someone going to fob farms wearing red lingerie and bull andy just going crazy over them. bending them over a table or something and just fucking them so roughly.. oh my lord i need to be sedated (or get bred by him either works)

You're so right actually you're incredibly right

[slowd1ving]

Do you have more ORV fics twirls hair

unfortunately not yet BUTTTT

it's on my long list for writing (I need to write for yjh asap...) like imagine vampire hunter yjh and vampire reader?? so many aus for this guy GOD

[coquelicoq]

have some cherry magic feelings i yelled at my friend yesterday (in part because all my cherry magic feelings end with "big day for kurosawa, is all i'm saying", and i blame you entirely :P):

thinking about how adachi in the show continually states that he has no dreams, he has no aspirations, he just exists in a continual state of eh

and he goes for the design competition but only at the encouragement of like five other people all telling him to do it

and even in the movie he takes the promotion but not because he strove for it but because it was given to him

and then thinking about how he says okay time to put in the work towards making myself indispensable, to becoming the star of the data analytics department, to becoming irreplaceable

and he's doing it solely so he can claim kurosawa as his without impacting his job

and thinking about kurosawa, who has just wanted someone to see him for him rather than just a handsome guy his entire life, who has pined in silence for adachi for seven long years, who has had such a tumultuous beginning to their relationship where he hasn't been sure where things are and then they're separated and then adachi's ill and he finds out completely by chance

having adachi look him square in the eye and effectively say "my dreams and aspirations are you, i want to be able to call you mine to anyone and everyone who asks, i am 100% sure that you are it for me forever because of how much i care abut you and not your appearance"

big day for kurosawa is all i'm saying

BIG DAY FOR KUROSAWA IS ALL WE ARE SAYING!!!

[foulbearobservation]

Lilith “acts of service” Villaumbrosia fucking all three of her girlfriends one after the other, then climbing out of the bed, walking around to the other side, climbing back in, and starting over immediately.

for some reason my brain read this as lilith leaving the whole house, walking around it, and then walking back in the front door which is honestly a funnier visual

[1004tyun-archive]

what about….ahem…what about cam boy!soobin 😔

cam boy! Soobin edging himself orrrrr cam boy! Soobin being such a soft dom 😔😔😔😔😔😔

By the end of the live he rewards the person who has tipped him the most(spoiler: it’s reader!) with a private call🤭🤭🤭 and just like that you two end in some kind of situation-ship and once in a while you two stream together

OUGH THIS IS SO HOT ANON

camboy soobin taking the chance to ask you about what turns you on and how long you've been a fan and you're shyly having a conversation as he takes his clothes off and you realize he's palming himself through his grey sweatpants. you're hypnotized by those big hands stroking his cock through his pants and the tent that's forming so you ask him to take them off and he asks you to beg for it, and you do with 0 hesitation.

"please? i need to see your cock, i need you to stroke yourself in front of me. i wanna see you cum. please, daddy?" you whine and soobin's lips twitch into a smirk.

"no one's ever called me that before," he says. "i've been called a lot of things, but never daddy. call me that again and i'll give you what you want, baby."

so of course you oblige, the name daddy leaving your lips like a prayer. soobin smiles and tilts the webcam so that it's just his lips and his torso showing. he tugs his sweatpants down until they're completely off and his big hard cock is flush against his stomach. he's stroking slowly and fucking into his fist at an agonizing pace, he's definitely doing it to tease you because he wants to take his time with you and make sure you get the most out of this private call 😳

"show me how you're touching yourself," soobin commands and you tilt your camera down to show that you're holding a toy against your core through your clothes.

"don't be shy. take your clothes off," he says. you get naked and your core is in full view in the webcam as you rub your vibrator against your clit as you watch soobin stroke himself through half lidded eyes.

you end up cumming at the same time and once you're able to catch your breath, you end up talking for longer than you thought you would and, because you're feeling bold, you end up asking for his number 🤭

[namazunomegami]

https://www.tumblr.com/namazunomegami/743681457401233408/httpswwwtumblrcomnamazunomegami7436597783840?source=share

you flatter me too much. I love this particular way of writing a yandere (of sorts) Geto because there’s so much to explore when it comes to him. It also makes me wonder about the type of yandere Gojo would be, if we’re looking at his personality through how he is portrayed in canon. From most fanfiction depictions of Gojo, people seem to think of him as some fun loving goofy guy who is secretly really sad and to be fair… they’re not exactly wrong. I just think that Gojo can’t be reduced to just that. In my opinion, Gojo is probably quite cold. I don’t know how to explain it, but I’ll try. It’s literally fact that Gojo is the strongest. The honoured one. Whatever you wanna call it. But it’s literally only him. Yes, both him and Geto called themselves “the strongest”, but Geto was clearly outclassed by Gojo in their later years, especially with Geto mentally deteriorating due to all the misery of being in the jujutsu world. Gojo is, in every sense of the word, alone. Untouchable. Raised to be the best of the best. So it’s pretty much canon that Gojo isn’t really showcasing his true or full personality in front of everyone else, and I suppose that’s why people think he just mopes around around depressed about his life, which is a fair assumption. But I think he probably would seem very cold and detached because he is literally different from EVERYONE. Even on a physical level, he’s completely different from everyone. 1. He’s almost fucking perfect. Looks and sounds fucking perfect. 2. He literally sees EVERYTHING. He doesn’t even SEE the same as how everyone else sees. Gege says that Gojo’s sight is like looking through a high definition thermal camera. THATS FUCKING WEIRD.

He doesn’t even need to sleep. It’s said that he’s constantly running Reverse Curse Technique to keep his brain fresh and from frying, so technically, he doesn’t even NEED to sleep.

What I’m trying to say is, Gojo is quite literally different from everyone else in this world. So I’d assume that he doesn’t know or personally understand the typical human or sorcerer experience. We can see this with how he invaded everyone’s personal space. He looks at humans the way humans look at ants. Like things to be examined.

So I think that all of this would make him quite a cold person, because he’s literally not relatable to anyone. The one person he thought was relatable went crazy and started a cult, so….

[I also think he’s aware of how unrelatable he is and how unsettling his very existence is, so he acts all goofy and annoying to appear more palatable and less flawless to people because if he was to act otherwise, how would people act towards him? Scared? Worship him, maybe?

I could also get into how being so different from everyone probably affects how he experiences emotions and how he probably doesn’t experience emotions the exact same way that everyone else does, but this is really long already.]

So I say all of this to say… what type of person would this God like being, the Honoured One, be obsessed over? What type of individual would catch this man’s eye and what exactly made them stand out from everyone else?

I think it would have to be someone who could make him feel something emotionally intense. I think out of everything, what Gojo really wants is to feel SOMETHING. Which is ironic because with his 24/7 infinity on, he can’t really feel anything physically lol. But yeah, I think he’s desperate for stimulation. He eats sweets a lot because they stimulate his brain for example.

Like imagine being able to do and have EVERYTHING. That must be so boring!!! Yeah, I think he wants to feel something.

You mentioned MBTI in your analysis of Geto, which is very interesting. what MBTI type are you? I’m an INTP. Enneagram 5w4. I don’t know any of that means lol. I wonder what MBTI Gojo is and how that might play out into him being obsessed over someone and how he’d treat them.

Basically Gojo reminds me of porcelain or diamond or marble. Flawless. Or… almost flawless.

Don’t get me wrong, Gojo definitely has flaws and isn’t fully perfect, but I think the fandom attempts to make him more of a lover boy than he probably is lol. I don’t have a problem with it because it’s fucking fanon lol, do what you want with whatever character, but I just love exploring different perspectives of characters and I think the fandom (that participates in fanfiction), like most fandoms, has a tendency to reduce characters to one aspect of themselves, and in Gojo’s case, he’s constantly reduced to his short lived and possibly homo erotic friendship with Geto and I’m just trying to look at him from a different angle, I guess.

Like think about it! Gege says Gojo chooses to be single and I think it’s because nobody makes him feel. Feel what? I’m not exactly sure. A rush, probably.

Geto made him feel that because for a while, Geto was the one relatable person to him. Toji made him feel that, because Toji is also relatable to Gojo (in the sense that Toji, like Geto and Gojo, is an outlier. Not meant to be as strong or powerful as he is, but somehow he exists). I mean, Toji KILLED him. I don’t think even Gojo knew he could be killed lol.

TL:DR- Gojo is bored and cold and detached and needs to feel something and I think that if he was a yandere, he would obsess over someone who would make him feel that something.

I will stop yapping here. Actually, I won’t.

I emphasise that Gojo is not perfect, but is ALMOST perfect. He has flaws, but flaws can be disguised as perfections or hidden. I mean, if Gojo was perfect, he wouldn’t be able to be killed by Toji, Riko would be alive, and he wouldn’t be sealed, and he wouldn’t have died (I’m holding out hope that he’ll be back lol), etc. One major flaw is that he’s not omnipotent or omnipresent and it’s showcased many times in the manga. I could talk more but let me ACTUALLY stop yapping here lol.

I’m so sorry.

Holy molly what a delight to wake up seeing such a long ask in my inbox!

I wholeheartedly agree with you on that the fandom tend to reduce Gojo to a silly-goofy guy with a heart of gold and there's nothing wrong with people sandboxing with their faves. He's your blorbo, your squeeky dog toy lmao.

I can recommend @/sukunasun's Gojo fics, I think they characterize him really well!

I must admit that Gojo as a character is almost impossible for me to write. Especially with my writing techniques that's just like... method acting but in fiction lol. I want to give it a try in my gothic au where he's kinda like a minor villain and I plan to showcase certain elements of gothic horror through his character.

And Gojo as a yandere oml... I believe that many jjk characters have the potential to be yandere but Gojo would be literally the worst. He wouldn't just isolate you, he would be capable of to kill anyone important to you, he would endanger you so you'd rely on him. If I remember correctly, @/saintshigaraki once reblogged a long yan!gojo fic in which he literally brought a curse to reader's house so he can save them.

Well, it's time for my own thoughts:

I think Gojo struggles a lot with empathy. If not completely devoid of the skill to recognize other people's perspective. Like... it's literally canon that he ignored Shoko, he made Geto's defection his own personal trauma. And I know that it's gonna be a very bold statement, but I think that he was a shitty best friend when Geto started spiralling after the Star Plasma incident. Idk... if my bestie is showing signs of being mentally unwell, I'd do literally anything to help, nobody can stop me.

Once, just for fun I checked some DSM-V criteria and tbh... Gojo meets diagnostic criteria for several Cluster B personality disorders. Namely Narcissistic Personality Disorder, some for Histrionic Personality Disorder and even Antisocial Personality Disorder.

These disorders kinda encapsulates his character for me: his relationships are superficial, he likes being the center of attention, he struggles with empathy, not afraid to endanger himself or others and his insecurities are hidden beneath a grandiose sense of self-worth.

Just being professional here, but I'm not bringing this up for the sake of bashing his character. Real people, who are diagnosed with these disorders are not inherently bad and they deserve the same love and respect as anyone else!

Okay, back to the MBTI: I'm an INFJ (introverted intuition, extroverted feeling, introverted thinking and extroverted sensing), I didn't take the tests, I just simply analyzed Jung's cognitive functions because they're much more empiric and reliable. But being INFJ kinda explains why I'm drawn to characters who are Ni, Ne or Te, Ti dominant. Geto for example is Ni dominant, just like I am.

Gojo is an ENTP, my fave type tbh. Like... around 2/3 of my fictional crushes have this type, it's concerning lmao.

When I got into the Hellaverse I literally started crushing on not one but THREE ENTPs lmao.

So... Gojo's cognitive functions are extroverted intuition, introverted thinking, extroverted feeling and introverted sensing. Literally the polar opposite of Geto's functions.

While Geto's introverted intuition is a future oriented function, extroverted intuition is present oriented, focusing on ideas and "what if" scenarios instead of patterns.

Ne dominant people are all about ideas, they're dreamers, envisioning many possibilities. If you present an interesting topic or thought to them, they're gonna play with it until they get bored and need something new (Ni on the other hand will find a topic that they like and analyze it from different angles). While Ne is like brainstorming, hopping from one interesting concept to another, Ni is about the execution of these ideas.

Because intuition is their dominant information processing function, think about them like this:

Ni is like a connect the dots game. They see patterns and predict outcomes based on probability. Ne detects patterns in their environment and they predict implications and intentions like search engines do.

Introverted thinking, compared to Geto's extroverted one is much more theoretical, analytic and deductive. Introverted functions are subjective, they need an inner system that are alligned with their values before they even activate. Ti users will grab facts and proofs and put them in boxes in a way that it fits their own bias.

While Te users accept statements and opinions if they have significant proof, Ti is all about "is this logical? give me a minute, let me think about it"

SHITTY EXAMPLE:

2x2=4

Te: yeah, that tracks, it's basic knowledge. Let me think about a conclusion.

Ti: okay, that tracks, but why? I want to see the process. By adding 2 to 2 really makes 4?

An unhealthy Ti overthinks and overcomplicates things while an unhealthy Te oversimplifies.

Extroverted feeling is an objective function and they use empathy in this way too. Not in a "i know what you're feeling" way but more like a "i'll try imagining what you're going through" type of empathy. It's group oriented instead of the individual oriented Fi. And extroverted feelers express their emotions much more easily, they're approachable, they like harmony within a group and would supress their thoughts and values if it would disturb that said harmony. An unhealthy Fe is a people pleaser, a martyr, who'd sacrifice themselves for others while unhealthy Fi is about self-preservation and self-suitability and they're heavily biased.

I forgot to add sensing in my previous answer because I thought that as the least active function it has no importance but the difference is this: extroverted sensors live in the moment, they react quickly to any minor change in their environment because they're highly attuned with it, while introverted sensors are all about past experiences. They learn from their mistakes, they're perceptive, they're capable of remembering minor details about you.

ENTPs have that ongoing stereotype that they have a good sense of humor, they communicate well and you don't want to pick a bone with them because they'll roast the fuck out of you.

As a yandere, I think ENTPs would brainstorm about how they want to get closer to you and later arrange different scenarios to grab your attention. They could be very attuned to your feelings so they wouldn't want to see you hurt. They would try to cheer you up, confuse you with comfort if you're defiant. But if you're fighting back like... in a vicious way, they would argue with you. They'd use their eloquence to make you question yourself, they'd use any opportunity to undermine you because they already figured you out.

I think that's all, you're literally spitting facts what can I add?

[paperhats-and-evil-schemes]

Hello! So I was wondering if it was ok to ask something, and please please PLEASE just ignore this if you're not in the mood to answer or anything like that, the last thing I want to do is make you feel pressured in any way about this, I was just wondering if I could ask how the writing was going..? I saw you mentioned that you've been getting a little bit done recently and was just curious about how things are going on that front, but I couldn't figure out how to word this without sounding like a peer-pressuring a**hole trying to make you write faster or something like that, so please don't take it that way, I'm just curious, but only if you're actually in the mood to talk about writing stuff! >-< I love your work a lot and you're a really nice person and I hope you're doing okay! Please totally ignore this if you don't wanna discuss fic stuff of course!

It's no prob, anon, I get what ya mean lol

Fic stuff is very slow-going right now, it's mostly just me taking notes and fixing certain details that didn't make sense in hindsight (I guess the one positive of a five-year hiatus is that I could take a refreshed look at my WIPs? haha...) Most notably of my changes so far is that I had to rearrange the chronology of my WIPs because there were some major pacing issues in the way I currently had it laid out, so now instead of the White Hat fic coming out after Bond and Happy Anniversary, that one's gonna be before Bond. (So, the next fic due to be posted, whenever that may be. Whether that's good or bad news is in the eye of the beholder, ha...) I've finished a few small scenes too, but not a whole lot to speak of.

Unfortunately I actually ended up losing a lot of notes as one of my documents got corrupted or something? I had a backup copy but it wasn't as up-to-date, so that's a bit of a bummer to lose some chunks, but what can ya do. //shrug// Most of the notes lost were on the shorter fics and not the White Hat one at least, so it wasn't really as big a loss as it coulda been, all things considered.

[heymrspatel]

💌 Send this to someone who makes you smile😁

PLEASE! there's been so much cuteness and love in my inbox and i don't know what to do with it! how do i handle it?

can we hug? i would like a hug! 💙

[cat-madhouse]

hello Sunny! i'm the Omori from that fictionkinfessions post you reblogged where I said it's annoying when people think I kin Sunny. So hi there!

Oh hello !! I didn't think you were actually going to see this sdhksj. Hello hi I hope you're doing well :)

[yuujispinkhair]

Boyfie Sukuna picking you up from your late shift

A while ago, a sweet anon sent me an ask about protective boyfie Sukuna picking up reader from a late shift, and I loved it so much because I would have really needed him too when I was still doing late shifts. So here is a little drabble about Kuna picking us up from work. I hope you enjoy it 💗

Modern!Sukuna x Reader (female). Fluff. Word Count 900. Mentions of smoking. Minors don't interact. Dividers @/benkeibear

"Ok, let's do this," you mutter to yourself as you push open the heavy back door, trying to hype yourself up and steeling yourself for the darkness that will await you outside of your workplace at this time.

You hate your late shifts when you're the only one left in the building and have to use the exit in the back. Your pulse already speeds up at the thought of having to walk down the dimly lit back alley to reach the main street and the subway station.

But you have no other choice, and so you step out the door and into the dark alley. And immediately jump when a low voice drawls,

"Hey, princess."

You dart around with a hand clutched to your chest and your eyes wide, even as your brain begins to register that you know this voice. And, of course, your gaze lands on a very familiar tall, muscular figure with a beautiful, tattooed face and slicked-back pink hair.

Sukuna.

He is leaning casually against the brick wall, one hand shoved into the pocket of his black jeans, the other bringing a half-smoked cigarette to his lips. He smirks around the cigarette, maroon eyes looking amusedly at you.

"Did I scare you?"

You glare at him, even as you feel a huge relief wash over you. Relief and that all-too-familiar fluttery feeling in your stomach that you always get when you see your boyfriend.

"Kuna! What the... yes, you scared me! What are you doing here?"

Sukuna exhales slowly, watching you through the cigarette smoke with those beautiful cat-like eyes as he shrugs and smirks that devilishly attractive smirk,

"Making sure my girl gets home safely, of course."

You can't stop the big, happy smile from spreading over your face. This side of your boyfriend always makes you so weak for him. This sweet side of Sukuna that contradicts everything the people who told you he wouldn't be good for you said.

Yes, your boyfriend has a bad boy reputation. But yet, here he is, picking you up after your late shift without you having to ask for it. So protective and caring when it comes to you.

"I'm glad you are here, baby."

You smile and get on your tiptoes to kiss Sukuna's tattooed cheek, feeling the anxiety you felt earlier leave you completely. When Sukuna is with you, you know you are safe.

Sukuna grins as he flicks his cigarette away and wraps one strong arm around you to pull you against his tall body. His lips brush against your forehead in a quick but tender kiss.

"Let's go home, princess. Dinner is waiting for you."

"You already cooked too? Are you practicing to become a househusband, Kuna?"

You grin up at Sukuna playfully, and he laughs, but he sounds very pleased when he replies in that sexy, velvety voice,

"For you? Always."

He winks at you and offers you one of his muscular, tattooed arms as if he is a knight or an actor in a 1950s rom-com. And you take Sukuna's arm and hold on to him as you walk down the dimly lit alley together.

Usually, you are scared to walk down this narrow, dark street. But not tonight. Not when you are holding onto Sukuna's arm, your hand wrapped tightly around his bulging tattooed biceps, his tall, strong body so reassuringly brushing against your side.

The dark alley and the nightly city have lost their scariness now that Sukuna is with you and tells you about the dinner he cooked for you and how he beat his brother at a video game they were playing earlier.

You know you are safe when Sukuna is with you. Even the two sinister-looking guys loitering around at the end of the alley quickly leave after casting one look at Sukuna's tattooed face and his tall, muscular body.

You smile and snuggle against Sukuna's warm body, thinking that there are definitely certain benefits to dating a bad boy.

You reach Sukuna's car shortly after, and he holds open the passenger door for you while smirking that sexy, boyish smirk, always acting like an old-fashioned gentleman when it comes to you.

You watch him while he drives, one hand on the steering wheel and the other resting on your thigh, interlacing his long tattooed fingers with your smaller ones.

And you can't stop smiling from ear to ear. Sukuna cooked dinner for you. He came here to pick you up. And you know that he's turning up the heating in his car just for you. He runs on the hot side and doesn't need it. But he's doing it for you, just like he is doing so many little and big things for you all the time. Anything for you, without you ever having to ask for it. Because he loves you.

It makes your heart feel so full.

You lean across the center console at the first red light, pressing another sweet kiss to Sukuna's cheek. But he turns his face so your lips end up on his. You feel his grin against your lips as his large hand captures your chin, cupping it firmly, holding you in place so he can deepen the kiss, licking into your mouth with a few playful flicks of his pierced tongue before he pulls away again.

You smile, your fingers tightening around Sukuna's hand, which is back in your lap,

"Thank you for picking me up, baby."

You see the corners of Sukuna's lips lift in a matching smile even while his gaze is fixed on the street before him, and his voice sounds playful but warm at the same time,

"You're welcome, princess. From now on, I'll pick you up every time you have a late shift. There's no way you're walking through dark alleys without me."

Protective boyfie Sukuna makes me SWOON aaaahhhh. Honestly, this gave me such a feeling of safety. In my old job, I had to do late shifts, too, and I was so scared walking down to the train station and waiting for my train because all those sinister-looking men were already starting to crawl out of their holes, and I felt very unsafe there. Protective boyfie Sukuna would have made me feel SO safe.

I hope this could give you comfort, too 💗💗 Thank you so much for reading!! Comments and reblogs would be very sweet.

[rafeysbunny]

heyyyyyyyy! I have a thought. Do you think that reader could get rafe to beg? Like maybe he did smth that pissed reader off so she’s been ignoring him but rage just can’t take it anymore? I love your writing so honestly just go crazy

-👻 anon

a/n; first ask, i'm so excited! in answer to your question: yes! absolutely, yes! this man is soo pussy whipped, he'd do anything for reader. ty for the request, babe!

two hours of you giving rafe the cold shoulder it's all it takes for him to break. he knows he fucked up greatly, but you're just being so mean that he cannot help the way his lips curl into a pout as he kneels in front of you, pleading for your forgiveness.

only you could get rafe motherfucking cameron to beg like this.

"baby, 'm so, so sorry," he apologizes, big hands gripping onto your plush thighs tightly so you can't get away from him this time, not again. "forgive me, yeah? i know i screwed up, and i'm sorry."

his lips start peppering kisses over the sliver of bare skin under the hem of your top as he keeps muttering words of repentance, the actions making your heart melt. "it won't happen again, i promise to you, angel."

"i'm really pissed at you right now, rafe," you address him for the first time in hours, voice tone sharp.

he doesn't care how cold you sound, though, the fact that you're finally talking to him instead of ignoring his presence nearly makes him cry happy tears. how embarrassing is that? he can't believe you got him this hooked. he should be the one in charge, not you, but, let's be honest, he's too in love with you to even care anymore.

"i know, baby, i'm sorry," he repeats for the hundredth time, puppy, blue eyes staring up at you entreatingly. "what can i do for you to forgive me? i'll do anything, just please, stop being mad."

"anything?"

a mischievous smirk spreads across your pretty face, your mind already conjuring up all the filthy ways he could make it up to you.

"anything, angel."

that's how he ends up tied up to the bed, hands desperately tugging at the fluffy, pink handcuffs in a failed attempt to break free of them while you ride his pretty face. he's fucking drowning in your pussy, dick achingly hard inside his pants.

what a shame you won't make him cum this time, as a little punishment.

your hips rock against his face unabashedly, feeling the way his eager tongue parts your chubby folds to drink up your sweet essence, occasionally slipping inside your pussy to fuck you with it. his nose is rubbing your puffy clit every time you grind down, which has you mewling and shuddering atop him.

"i love you so much, baby," he'd mumble against your cunt, totally mesmerised by the hypnotic sway of your hips and your taste.

your flesh muffle his words and grunts, but you understand what he says and look down at him with adoring eyes, just to find him staring up at you in the same way, pink lips glistening with a combination of your arousal and his spit.

the sight is enough to send you spiralling into a mind blowing orgasm that makes you let out the most lewd moan you've ever made, body shaking as your legs close around his head, almost suffocating him.

"fuck, i love you too," you breath out, the aftershocks of your climax making your brain dizzy. "i forgive you, rafey."

honestly, he doesn't quite understand how this could be a punishment for him, but he's not one to complain.

more.

[ms-demeanor]

You posted about adhd and I was hoping to follow up to clarify something. I’ve explained to my partner a million times about how the borderline-hoarding mess of his space is very mentally draining to me, and he understands but we’ve both essentially accepted he won’t clean his mess because he can’t because of his adhd. You’re saying he’s actually being a shit head?

This isn't necessarily an issue of him being a shithead, but it also isn't a sustainable situation. It's not good for you and there's a level of clutter that's probably not good for him either.

Large bastard is a lot more clutter-y than I am. The solution we've come to is trying to keep our messes at least isolated from one another; he can have his messes and I can have mine, but he can have those messes in his spaces, not all over the place. Sometimes those messes migrate, and that's when it's important for him to make the effort to rein them in rather than trying and failing to make a daily effort to keep our entire shared space tidy.

I think when you say "we've both essentially accepted he won't clean his mess" what I'm hearing is resignation; you're not happy about this but you don't know what to do so you've thrown up your hands and he feels helpless and unsure of what to do to improve the situation. This is the kind of "it's fine" that isn't really fine.

I think it would be worthwhile for you to each separately think about the mess and talk about it together. Are there areas that YOU *need* to have not-messy? Both for utility and your mental health? Are there areas where you can tolerate more mess than otherwise? Are there areas that are going to be harder for him to keep the mess out of than others? Are there things he doesn't *know* about cleaning up the mess?

I'm obviously a big "communication communication communication" person so I'm going to recommend a lot of talking about stuff, which is probably going to mean a lot of thinking about and interrogating stuff. I'm going to say "talk to him about why the mess bothers you" which means you also have to really articulate to yourself why the mess bothers you (for instance I'm not actually *bothered* by a messy kitchen, but I know it's going to reflect badly on us - and me specifically b/c of presumed gender roles - if someone pops by and the kitchen is a disaster, AND a messy kitchen is going to be harder to use). Genuinely, sometimes knowing *why* something is a problem might make it easier for someone with ADHD to do something. And it's not that he doesn't care that it upsets you, it's just that "Oh if I don't wash my breakfast dishes Anon won't have clear counterspace to make lunch" might be stickier in his brain (and less hard to look at emotionally) than "this thing I forget to do upsets my partner so I should do it."

For the record, I think that people with ADHD should read up on Demand Avoidance and see if it might explain some of the issues that they have in their day-to-day life; I've seen some really unfortunate situations with friends where trying to do things that their partner needed became the subject of demand avoidance. *I* have experienced negative outcomes of demand avoidance. The solution to that, however, isn't to stop making attempts to do the thing OR to simply try harder to do as they're asked/told (which reinforces the demand), it's to work on setting up a situation where the partners' needs are not interpreted as a demand. This is fuck-off difficult and requires a lot of patience and care and many attempts to succeed and will be different for each person and relationship.

(Also for the record demand avoidance isn't *super* strongly linked to ADHD and it's not a definitive symptom; like Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, it is something that occurs in some number of people with ADHD and can be a useful lens through which to examine various behaviors; you don't need to have DA or RSD to have ADHD, and having DA or RSD also doesn't invalidate your diagnosis; they're symptoms. For me, DA often feels like "if I don't look at it, it can't get me" - If I ignore all the messages I've got they aren't real and don't have real consequences so I'll just ignore my texts. If I don't look at the vendor email about the order, the problem with the order isn't real and it won't get added to my task list. If I don't look at the requests in my inbox I can't let people down when I don't do them. It's a self-protective coping mechanism but it's *maladaptive* and I can't just ignore the vendor email or all my texts. I need to work on a way of doing the stuff that I'm avoiding in a way that makes it less stressful and doesn't hurt the people relying on me. That takes a lot of effort, personal insight, trial and error, and )

But before I dive into specifics I want to be really really clear about one thing: sometimes people are simply incompatible. Sometimes one person has such a low tolerance for "mess" and the other person has such a high threshold for "mess" that it can't be reconciled. It sucks that this can end up being a thing that people break up over, but it is MUCH better to acknowledge incompatibility as early as possible instead of spending years and years building resentment.

There used to be a great forum called MiL's Anonymous that I spent a lot of time on. It had a lot of people in a lot of difficult situations struggling to get by and hold their relationships together. The question that was used as a litmus test to approach each situation was simple: If you knew today that everything about living with this person would be the same in five years, would you stay?

Because you can't control your partner. You can't control the future. You can only control yourself and your proximity to situations that are harmful to you. If you knew, 100%, that things wouldn't get better in five years, would you be okay with staying in this relationship? If the answer is "no," then that's that. Don't worry about questions of whether or not your boyfriend is a shithead, start the process of ending the relationship because there's a good chance the situation is going to be exactly the same in five years.

If the answer is "yes," and you'd stay in the relationship regardless of whether or not things changed, then it's time to take actions to improve your life within the context of the relationship.

(No judgement on that yes or no, btw. If you would hate living like this for another five years, and you would feel like you'd wasted your time and hadn't done the things you wanted to with your life, get out. Bail. Go. It will be better for you and better for your partner if you split instead of spending half a decade building resentments and and problems that you'll have to spend another half a decade healing from.)

Also, a note: you describe your boyfriend's mess as borderline hoarding - is the issue *mess* or is the issue *clutter*? I have friends who are very tidy, but whose homes are very cluttered. They like things, they have many things, they keep many things around, but their houses are always clean and well-dusted and orderly, just with a tremendous amount of *stuff.* I am addressing all of this as though the issue is mess, not clutter. If your boyfriend's situation is clutter (the space is busy and packed with things but it is functional and clean) and your issue isn't with *mess* (things out of place, things not having a place, things that need to be cleaned up gathering in stacks, falling behind on regular chores like laundry and dishes and taking out the trash) then you definitely need to assess whether or not you are compatible.

For instance here's a room that is messy but not cluttered compared to a room that is cluttered but not messy:

That first room is a *mess* but it would be very easy to clean up in under an hour. The second room is fairly tidy, but would take significant effort to pare down and declutter. BOTH of these can be difficult to live with but the second one is not dangerous or threatening to anyone's health. (The second one is QUITE cluttered and if every room in a house looks like this it can be overwhelming to live with; this is actually harder to deal with in a relationship than the first one in a lot of ways. I don't have a lot of advice for what to do if your partner is a high degree of tidy-but-cluttered because I don't actually think it's a problem or wrong to have thousands of books or bins full of lego or a million kitchen appliances as long as you have the space and can keep it safe and well-maintained; this is a really significant compatibility issue)

Okay, all that out of the way, here's the hard work.

Talk about this shit

Talk to your partner and define "mess." Make sure you are on the same page about what you mean when you're talking about what a messy room looks like versus what a tidy room looks like. Gather reference pictures. DRAW reference pictures.

Explain not just that the mess upsets you, but *why* and *how* it upsets you. In this context don't think of it as your boyfriend's mess, think of it as an unpleasant roommate. Discuss this using "I-statements". "When I have to pick up laundry all over the apartment, I feel like a parent more than a partner." "When there are piles of miniatures all over the table, I feel like I don't have anywhere to do things I'm interested in." "When there are dishes in the sink, I feel frustrated because I have to clean before I can feed myself."

Discuss, frankly and openly, whether he knows how to clean. I'm not trying to make excuses for him here but a lot of people with ADHD have a lot of stress and avoidance around cleaning because they spent a lot of time getting yelled at for not knowing how to clean properly.

Discuss your needs, be firm about what you require but willing to compromise. You *need* some spaces to be clean, and some spaces may be harder for him to keep clean than others. It may be MUCH harder for him to keep a bedroom tidy than it is to keep a kitchen tidy; if you need a clean and empty bedroom with everything put away and he simply cannot do that, that is a compatibility issue. But perhaps you need *your* side of the bedroom to be very orderly and can tolerate a moderate level of mess and clutter on his side. Maybe you're really really bothered by a messy kitchen, but it doesn't bug you if the dining table is covered with projects and papers. Figure out something more workable than "his mess goes everywhere and i live with it because he's incapable of cleaning" because he probably is not incapable of cleaning and you deserve to have places in your home that are comfortable for you.

Reduce friction for cleaning

Sometimes the problem isn't cleaning, the problem is the many many steps before cleaning, or not knowing where something should go when you are done cleaning. One of the absolute best things I've done for myself for cleaning my space is getting a broom holder and mounting the broom to the wall. Sweeping is now essentially thoughtless. I don't have to find the broom or pull it out from a pile of fans or go scrounging around for a dustpan it's right there on the wall, frictionless. So here are some ways to reduce the barriers to cleaning:

Make sure you and your partner both know how to use your cleaning supplies and know where those supplies are. When I switched dishwasher soap I had to re-show Large Bastard where I was storing it and how it was used, because to him what happened was the dishwasher tabs just vanished one day and he didn't know what I was putting in the machine or the process I used. He sometimes puts tools away in places that I can't see (he's more than a foot taller than me) so sometimes I can't get started on a maintenance project until he shows me where he put the battery pack for the drill.

Consider making a how-to chart to or having him make a how-to chart to keep someplace accessible so he can reference it while cleaning. Goblin.Tools Magic ToDo is great for this. Basically a lot of the time people with ADHD have trouble knowing what to do from step to step even if they've done something before, so having a step by step guide can make it easier (I have notebooks full of step-by-step guides for everything from paying for my tuition to removing licenses for my customers to weeding my yard)

Remove obstacles; don't keep cleaning chemicals in the garage in a box that's behind a stack of parts, keep them in the room you'll be cleaning. Don't keep the cleaning supplies that you use to clean the bathroom in the kitchen. Sometimes this means buying two bottles of bleach solution and two scrubbers and two sets of cleaning gloves but having fewer steps (fetch the windex, fetch the paper towels, fetch the gloves) is often the key to getting things done (open under-sink cabinet and grab windex, gloves, and paper towels that are there instead of in the kitchen).

This sort of overlaps with the next category, which is:

Create Dump Zones

One thing that I've found that seems very different between people with ADHD cleaning and neurotypical people cleaning is that neurotypical people are good at getting to a point where the cleaning is "done." They have checked off their tasks and they have finished and it is over. There are *SOME* chores that are like this (taking out the trash is a binary state, the trash has been taken out or it has not) and some chores are perpetual (horrid cursed dishes) but I think with people with ADHD, some chores that are binary for neurotypicals are actually perpetual chores. For instance "clean off the counter" is not a one and done for me. "Clean off the counter" may involve a three day reorganization project. "Clean off the counter" does not mean "wipe down the tile and put dishes away" it means assessing whether or not I need to make vegetable stock and bleaching three tea containers and reconsidering whether or not the sharps container should live somewhere else and going through the mail and figuring out what needs to be responded to and taking out the recycling and on and on and on.

We have had company at the house for the last two weeks, so I asked large bastard to clean off the dining room table, which is largely a project zone for him. Cleaning off the dining room table meant putting away his meds (and since he's a transplant patient that involves a 30 gallon rubbermade tote), throwing away some trash, and totally reorganizing his workshop. It also incidentally involved picking up a table from facebook marketplace and moving my plants, which has now involved moving my former plant rack outside (moving buckets, finding and organizing planters and gardening tools) and taking the former table to the thrift store (not done yet) and cleaning the rug that was under the former table. So "either the table is clean, or it isn't" isn't really true for us.

HOWEVER "hang on we can't eat until the table is clear so let's drive to Pico Rivera to get that console table right now" isn't a workable plan, so you create dumpzones as areas of holding between the start and the finish of the chore.

A dump zone can be a laundry basket. It can be a craft bin. It can be a back room or under your bed. It is a place to put things that you are going to deal with later because if you deal with them now it is going to derail the thing you are actually trying to do, which is set the table for dinner.

Dump zones are vital to cleaning with ADHD and I recommend them for day-to-day cleaning as well. The day-to-day dump zones might be more for you than for your boyfriend. For instance, Large Bastard works with bullets and he sheds bullets all over the house. I used to get stressed when I found bullets when I was cleaning because are these work bullets? Are these recreational bullets? Are they in testing? Do they need to be pulled? Do they go in the workshop or the office or the garage or does he need these today so they have to stay on the counter? And the answer now is "that's not my problem naughty bullets go in the jar." Which is perfectly sensible because he gets to say "mystery yarn goes in the bin" and "art supplies go in the bucket."

I feel helpless when cleaning a lot of the time. I'm frustrated and lost and I don't know where stuff goes and everything I pick up spins off into three projects in my head and every step feels like a wall to scale. Dump zones help me with that when there's pressure or a reason for cleaning beyond day to day home maintenance. People are coming over? The bedroom is a dump zone, I'll deal with that later. I'm just cleaning up because I need to? Okay I can find a permanent home for this new dish soap.

AS A VERY IMPORTANT COROLLARY TO THIS:

Active projects do not go in dump zones while you or your partner are cleaning. This may mean designating a project sanctuary area like a corner of the table or one particular chair in your main room where a project can be placed so as not to be disturbed. (if my current crochet project ends up in the yarn bin, that may mean that I don't pick the project up for another three months, it lives on the windowsill behind the couch because that's where it'll get worked on)

Do not put things away for your partner, put them in the dump zone for your partner. Your partner has to be the one to put their own stuff away in a way that works for them. I tend to find that this naturally puts a limit on the time stuff sits in the dump zone, because eventually you'll go "hey where's my thing?" and will put stuff away. If that doesn't happen, it's still generally better to have stuff in a dump zone than all over the home.

Do not decide you know what things go together from your partner's stuff and try to "put like things together." The neurotypical urge to put like things together is the mindkiller(j/k). You do not know which things are "similar" in your partner's organization schema and attempting to organize things on your own is going to end up with all of the things "organized" being functionally lost forever from your partner's perspective. Large Bastard's mom would do this and it was infuriating, she'd say "oh I put all the electronics stuff in one box" and she would mean soldering irons, transistors, ham radios, HDMI cables, and cellphone chargers. We are *still* going through boxes of stuff that she "tidied up" when he was hospitalized in 2020 and 2021.

To prevent the need for quite so many dump zones over time, you can work on setting up landing zones and "homes" for projects and tools.

Landing Zones

Landing zones are places where things go when you come inside from doing various things. Sometimes your landing zone only needs to be a tray for your wallet and keys, sometimes your landing zone needs to be a place to take off muddy boots and put a trowel and gloves down before you shower.

To make an effective landing zone, consider what behaviors you're trying to minimize and whether the people using it are ACTUALLY going to use it. For instance I was tired of the corner of my hearth getting cluttered with random junk so I hung up some hooks and put a shelf and a basket there and it became a really effective landing zone for my bag and keys and the mail, but it was VERY ineffective for Large Bastard because it's by a door that isn't the primary door he uses to enter the house. As a result I always know where my keys and bag are but he has trouble finding his keys and wallet. He tends to enter the house through our bedroom and has an overloaded valet next to the door and that's usually where his wallet ends up. Mounting a shelf to the wall above the valet and putting a basket and a hook on it will be a better place for his stuff to land. It's not that he's not using the first zone because he doesn't know that it's there, or because he doesn't care about lost time when I'm searching for my car keys after he borrows them, he's not using it because it's not by the door he uses. That's all.

I have a landing space for when I come in for gardening that's different than the one when I come in from grocery shopping. I have a landing space for when I walk into the dining room instead of the kitchen when I get home.

Landing spaces prevent stuff from piling up all over the place because they are a limited functional space that should be used frequently. Mail ONLY goes in the landing zone. If you have mystery mail or if you're not sure it's safe to toss, you put it in the landing zone. You can't let the mail get piled up too high or you won't have a space for your keys. You can't let the change in your wallet tray get too deep or your wallet is going to slide off, etc., but you also don't just put change on the coffee table or your nightstand because the landing zone is right there.

Homes for items are just what they sound like. They're the place the item goes. It lives there. My meds live on my nightstand. You would not believe how poorly I did with taking my meds on my vacation because they weren't on my nightstand. A while back large bastard lost one of his sets of sorted meds and we tore the house up looking for them because he couldn't find them in his nightstand, which is where they live. *I* found them in his nightstand because I emptied out the entire top drawer (he had only looked on the top layer) and found them underneath a radio and a hammock. Even though they were *hidden* they were in their home, so they were findable. I recently needed ink for an art class. Art supplies live in a dresser by my desk. Ink lives in the art bin or the top left drawer. The ink was not in either of these places (it was on a cabinet in the dining room behind a teacup) so it took me weeks to find it.

Sometimes the reason that ADHD spaces are so messy is because objects have been assigned homes in places that are visible and if they get moved they get lost. This is a genuinely difficult problem that requires a lot of effort to solve and can involve a lot of trial and error for creating a tidy living space. For some people, open shelving and visible storage might be a good solution. For some people, assigning a VERY clear home and inculcating that location by habit is the only way to clean up a space. For some people one very cluttered corner to at least isolate the chaos does the trick (for me and large bastard open shelving doesn't work because anything in one place for too long becomes invisible; that means that I rely on assigning things homes and large bastard relies on having contained chaos and a general idea of where to search but what that DOES NOT mean is that he is clean or tidy. His spaces look like an explosion. But he can mostly find his stuff and do what he needs to do and as long as that's limited to specific places in shared spaces I can live with it; the dining room table can be a disaster, the kitchen cannot).

People organize things differently. It often takes a while for neurotypical adults to settle into an organizational style that works for them and ADHD adults may need to settle into a new system every few months for it to continue working. The cleanup and declutter is most likely going to be a permanent project that is always going to demand some level of attention from everyone in a shared space, but "my ADHD means I can't do it" is not really going to fly. Maybe his ADHD means that he can't keep his space tidy, but it doesn't mean you can't move stuff from shared spaces into dump zones or that he can't do stuff around the house.

If he's insisting that his ADHD means that he can't clean it is possible that he's not being a shithead, he just feels helpless and doesn't know where to start and has adopted the belief that he's a useless piece of shit who can't even keep a tidy space like a grownup because he's internalized a lot of shitty attitudes (hello, my internal monologue about keeping a clean house). But it's also possible that he's just being a shithead.

It's something that's worthwhile to investigate with him. If he's unwilling to make an attempt, then he's being a shithead.

It is also not your responsibility to rehabilitate another person. If he wants to clean and it's something he feels bad about and needs some help and support with the way that someone might need help or support for learning to use a mobility aid, that is fine but you don't have to be the one who gives him that support if it's detrimental to your health, and you don't have to be the one to teach him that stuff if it's not something you're capable of. And if he is NOT interested in working on making your shared living space more accessible for you, that is not your suitcase to unpack and you just have to ask yourself the question from the start: would I stay with this person if I knew the situation was never going to change?

IDK, I'm sure a lot of this reads like "anon you must take on the emotional labor of training your partner to be an adult" but it's really meant to be more of a way of assessing yourself and your relationship. If you created landing zones do you think he'd use them? Would he get angry if you assigned a laundry basket as a dump zone for his stuff while you tidy the living room? Is living with him long-term going to be comfortable for you if nothing changes? Do you have enough of a shared definition of "mess" that you're at least in the ballpark for what counts as a clean house?

anyway good luck, and a reminder to folks that I'm compiling a bunch of adhd resources and other information on my personal website, ms-demeanor.com. It's coming along slowly but it will eventually include stuff like ADHD cleaning tips and how to tackle a hoard, so maybe keep your eye on that space.