#Annual Lists of Movies I Saw The Past Year

[jordoalejandro]

The Thirteenth Annual List of Movies I Saw the Past Year

This was one of the better recent years for film, in my humble opinion. A lot of really excellent stuff at the top of my list. On the other hand, the gulf between the good and not so good films feels more vast this year. Not as much depth.

I think I prefer that though. I like a year where I have more A’s and C’s handed out than a year where everything is a B.

This is also my longest list ever so let’s get to it.

Here’s the list of movies I’ve seen since-ish the last Oscars (3/12/23).

77. The Re-Education of Molly Singer - This feels like a throwback to the bad, cheaply made, straight-to-DVD comedies of the 2000s. Poorly written. Jokes that barely register and often don’t really have a punchline. A janky, cliché filled plot. Forced character arcs. Even the editing feels off. This is the kind of movie that should be 90 minutes (or really 80-something) and it ends up two hours long. Fixing the pacing wouldn’t have saved it but it couldn’t have hurt. Really nothing working here at all.

76. Vacation Friends 2 - I didn’t love the first film but I had some positive feelings about it at least. There was simply no reason for a sequel other than grabbing at cash left on the table. The original was about normal people going through some fairly normal circumstances, albeit slightly heightened for comedic effect. There really wasn’t that much more left to organically explore with them. Thus, this sequel did what a lot of unnecessary comedy sequels do when they are desperate for plot and need to introduce some dramatic stakes: add a criminal element. A random drug lord who can have men with guns chase our heroes. It’s so artificial it immediately lays bare how forced this film is. (This film also does another classic bad comedy sequel thing where it brings back a character from the first film in a way that makes zero sense because they wanted to use the actor again. Here, for some reason, one of the couples has hired an employee from the Mexican hotel from the first film as a babysitter for their newborn on their trip to the Caribbean. You know: a thing that happens.) That alone makes you roll your eyes but it’s not a fatal flaw. It’s forgivable if you can still make it funny. The bigger sin this film commits is that it just doesn’t do anything funny. The jokes are almost nonexistent. They’re barely trying and absolutely none of them land. The original had some humor and some heart to at least make it a decent watch. The sequel is drained of all of that. The weird thing is I can’t say I hated anything in particular here. I just felt pretty much nothing at all through the entire runtime, which is arguably worse. Mark Mothersbaugh’s score was nice though.

75. Fool’s Paradise - It’s kind of fascinating how this film misses every major mark. It wants to be a satire about Hollywood but it’s neither sharp nor insightful. It has a storyline about friendship that is supposed to lead to the emotional climax of the film but it doesn’t ever feel earned. The characters never actually feel like friends in any way and there’s no payoff to their relationship. There’s also a little bit of a Charlie Chaplin homage going on but there isn’t really any delight or charm in it. I don’t know what happened here. Everything is off. The worst part is there are almost no laughs in the whole thing. You could get by a little easier if you could at least nail some good jokes or visual gags or something but there are maybe a few chuckles at best. Even with the crazy amount of cameos by funny people. No one can find a laugh. The film looks nice at least.

74. 65 - Ultimately, it’s a bore. It’s a lot of walking through the jungle and occasionally being attacked by dodgy CGI dinosaurs. The action isn’t very compelling. Nor the visuals and music. Nor the story. Really standard lone wolf and cub stuff. Adam Driver tries but he’s given very little to work with. It’s a step above a Syfy channel film – in budget and quality – but not a huge step.

73. Meg 2: The Trench - I started this one up thinking, “Well, I saw the first one, I might as well watch the sequel” and about twenty minutes in, I realized I wasn’t sure if I actually did see the first one. I certainly didn’t write about it. I might have watched it on HBO? Or maybe it’s one of those films you don’t actually need to watch to know exactly how it goes down beat by beat. Speaking of films you don’t actually need to watch to know exactly how they’re going to go beat by beat: Meg 2: The Trench. There are moments in this film where it realizes it’s a stupid movie and leans in and those are the best parts of the film. Page Kennedy is the only person who is at that right level throughout the whole film. Mostly, though, the movie comes off like another bad Syfy channel film, in writing and especially in CGI. It’s one of those films where nothing looks real. Not just the animals and the sets. It’s so overbearing you can’t believe in the props they’re holding. It’s so much that you actually see past the CGI in your mind's eye and see all the blue screens the actors are standing in front of. Not great for the immersion of it all.

72. About My Father - A couple of nice moments (it has a smidge more heart than I thought it would) but it’s not really funny or sharp or surprising in any way. A lot of flat scenes.

71. Ferrari - You see the title and think it’s going to be a story about the car Ferrari, right? At least half about the cars? But no, it’s really like 80% about the man Ferrari. And the man Ferrari? Not that compelling. Lots of family drama. Mostly uninteresting. Some driving, which is done well but not as good as you’ve seen in other movies (including other period piece movies made within the last five years that have Ferrari in the title). It rolls along like that for a while. And then there’s this one scene that occurs near the end that’s completely unhinged (I’m trying to be subtle to avoid any spoilers but anyone who has seen the film knows exactly which scene I’m talking about). Even though this scene is based in truth, it’s not cohesive with what we’ve seen for the previous 100 minutes. It certainly snaps you awake like no other part in the film, so there’s that at least. Then it goes right back to the family stuff and then it ends. I’m sure there’s enough interesting, unique stuff in Ferrari’s life that it could sustain a biopic but what we got was mostly his relationship drama and that’s not particularly captivating. Adam Driver and Penélope Cruz are decent in this but not great in any kind of way that would merit awards or special recognition.

70. Plane - It’s basically exactly what you expect from a 2023 Gerard Butler movie called Plane. It’s a functional action thriller that doesn’t do anything (action, character, dialogue, humor) particularly well but pieces one thing to the next and gets to the finish line.

69. Killers of the Flower Moon - There are a couple of scenes that happen early in the film: Robert De Niro’s character and Leonardo DiCaprio’s character do some scheming, and then some Native Americans are killed. I hope you enjoy these scenes because they will be repeated over and over and over and over again for the next two hours. Does it ever get interesting? No, not really. Because at its core, the film is a murder mystery-type story and we’re witnessing the entire thing from the perspective of the murderers. Are these murderers at least clever or intriguing or sympathetic in any way? No, not really. They’re dullards who get away with things because no one cares that Native Americans are being murdered. ("You're supposed to feel that frustration!" Fine, but I could probably get there in half an hour. You don't need to drag me through mud for two hours.) The final hour of this behemoth is the law and order part of the show, which is so slow it drove me to near rage. I came right up to the edge of literally shouting at the film to move along. It’s a shame that there’s apparently no one left in the entertainment industry who can tell Martin Scorsese to not make three and a half hour movies. This is a film that is technically sound, at least, and that’s why it’s not at the bottom of the list. It looks good, the writing is fine, the acting is fine (the actors don’t really get a ton to do which is weird because there is so much goddamn time to do stuff!). But it’s just so impossibly long that it becomes an endurance test more than anything, and in doing so, destroys any potential chance for me to care about what is happening in the film or to the characters. I think there’s a good story in here, one I might be interested in watching, if it’s told in, let’s say, two-ish hours. Watching this film, I found myself only wanting it to end already.

68. The Flash - Some decent pieces hidden throughout – a few clever bits or jokes, action sequences, and emotional moments – but more stuff that doesn’t work than does. An unsatisfying plot. An overload of terrible CGI to the point where it often looks like you’re watching a PS3 level video game cutscene. Cameos and Easter Eggs that are jammed in so poorly that there’s no joy in them. Mostly though, it’s just an irritating film. The dialogue often tries too hard to force a laugh. A lot of broad, lazy humor. And worst of all, Ezra Miller’s Flash, the center of the film, is flat out annoying. His awkwardness is turned to 11 and he comes off more like a romantic comedy heroine (I’m too clumsy to get my life together!) than a superhero for the first act of the film. Everything gets even worse when the teenage version of the Flash shows up and behaves, for some reason, like an eight year old hopped up on sugar. It’s not just grating, it’s bad for us as an audience to immensely dislike the film’s main character. This is a movie that feels like it was pieced together from too many visions (including producers demanding more cameos because the other studios do it) and ultimately, it’s a big mess.

67. The Machine - There’s at least some plot though it’s not particularly strong. It works well enough to keep the movie moving along. Serviceable action. The big issue is there are only a couple of genuine laughs and that’s all you’re really looking for here so to be so lacking in that department is a huge issue for the film. An okay plot and serviceable action is not enough to get by. It’s supposed to be really funny and it just isn’t.

66. Good Grief - It has its moments of humor or dialogue but just doesn’t get there for the most part. I think the writing was lacking. Not enough humor, drama isn’t gripping, emotion isn’t there. This plot was fertile ground for a good dramedy but it simply does not capitalize.

65. Polite Society - This is a movie that should be fun and breezy but it’s unfortunately very bad at maintaining any kind of momentum. The final act in particular drags horribly, gaining steam and losing it almost immediately several times, making a 1:40 movie seem much, much longer. A few good moments scattered throughout and definitely some style to it, but overall the humor and action are nowhere near the quality they should be for this to work.

64. Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire - Really generic sci-fi. You’ve got your farmer type rebels and your fascist military army and your laser rifles and CGI aliens and the one hero who can save the universe, but she’s got to pull together her ragtag group to do it. Fine. I can forgive generic if it’s executed well but this is all pretty dull. The characters aren’t interesting, heroes and villains alike. Nor the dialogue. The plot is a standard "get the team together" plot but the heroes just go place to place and have people join them without having to actually do much. Mostly they show up, watch a new character do some sci-fi business, and then that character goes “Okay, let’s go.” Even the action isn’t very good, which is generally Zack Snyder’s strength. The film is interesting to look at, at least, so he hasn’t lost that from his arsenal. But this is supposed to be the jumping off point for a new Star Wars type universe thing and I just don’t see it. I don’t care about any of the goings-on with these characters or this world. There’s nothing here that makes me even the slightest bit enthusiastic for like a dozen movies and spinoff TV shows and video games or whatever.

63. Priscilla - This is the newest addition to the “various scenes from a sad famous woman’s life” collection. It has a little bit more life to it than that but not much. Technically solid. Good looking, good music, fine acting performances. But this feels like a movie made as a direct response to Elvis because his relationship with Priscilla was a bit creepy and, in theory, it does deserve further inspection. The problem is, in practice, when you’re actually watching a two hour film about it and you’re like, no, I guess I really don’t care about any of this. For what it’s worth, the actual Priscilla (an executive producer on this project herself) doesn’t seem to fall on one side of the debate or the other too strongly. The film seems to be sending the message that there was good and bad, that the fame and drugs certainly made things worse and ruined their marriage but, well, the whole thing also ends with “I Will Always Love You” playing so… it’s complicated, I guess? I appreciate it exploring the issue as gray but then that really highlights the “who cares?” of it all. I can’t shake the feeling this was a whole film dedicated to telling me a relationship with Elvis that started when you were a child is kind of weird. Okay. Got it. Thanks.

62. You Hurt My Feelings - Too many scenes that don’t really go anywhere and too many exchanges with no punchlines. It makes it feel like the film is stretching to make its 90 minutes. There are some interesting ideas and some funny bits in here but simply not enough in terms of character or dialogue or plot.

61. A Good Person - It never reaches a level of emotion or poignancy to truly be worth the journey, especially because the journey, at its core, is a generic addiction story (read: a melodramatic, repetitive cycle of relapse and recovery). Florence Pugh is good as always and Morgan Freeman does nice work, but the film as a whole just never gets there.

60. Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget - I don’t really remember the first one. I saw it in theaters as a child and have generally positive feelings about it but that was also two-plus decades ago so I can’t say with any certainty if I liked it or if I just liked being unburdened by age. Anyway, though this sequel is fine, it doesn’t seem to me as good, in writing and style, as the original. (Or maybe it is. Again, I can barely remember.) This is a fine movie for children and I’m sure children would enjoy it. It’s not really anything that appeals to me.

59. Shazam! Fury of the Gods - A couple of funny bits (Djimon Hounsou actually gets most of the better laughs, stealing the few scenes he’s in) and serviceable though not exactly enthralling action, but it still mostly feels like an uninspired sequel. Middling villains and a plot it’s hard to connect with. A lot of murder of innocent people that doesn’t mesh with the otherwise more lighthearted tone. Two movies in and they still haven’t figured out how to make the adult and kid versions of Shazam seem like the same character. It’s a little closer in this one than in the first but adult Shazam acts like an eight year old and kid Shazam (who is 17 years old, not eight) is more serious. You feel like they’re two entities and not the same person. If I had to point the finger, I’d say it’s probably Zachary Levi’s fault. Maybe adult Shazam’s lines might match better with different readings but he plays it very much like a small child and it’s off. The director should probably be on top of this, too. All of this sounds more negative than it is. It’s mostly forgettable fluff but it’s easy enough to watch and not hate. It’s just that it’s also not going to interest anyone outside of fans of the first film.

58. Down Low - Some decent laughs but about as many misses as well. Not funny enough for what flows, plotwise, as a sort of standard dark comedy.

57. The Creator - A good looking film, in cinematography and production design. Slick. But it just could not get me to care about the characters or story. Another sci-fi flick that falls right into your typical lone wolf and cub story. It tries to provide a few cute moments to get you to buy into their relationship but mostly hopes you’ll just accept it because our main character is protecting a “child.” While that is usually enough to go on in most of these types of stories, the child here isn’t really a child. It’s a stand-in for something much more gray. The film hopes you won’t examine that gray area very much if the child says something sweet every now and then. I could maybe get there if the whole thing was executed better but our main character is only sometimes compelling and his relationship with the cub feels more obligatory than earned so I spent the last half of the movie not particularly caring if they succeed or not.

56. Nyad - There’s some of the decent stuff you expect in a story about battling nature (and yourself) to do something incredible. And the relationship between the two leads is strong (so is their acting). But the movie itself isn’t incredibly interesting as a whole. Mostly because it’s a lot of swimming, then getting hurt while swimming, then resetting, then more swimming. And repeat. Nyad goes through a The Revenant-esque series of ass kickings to the point it becomes almost humorous. Also, and this is probably mostly a personal thing, but I don’t really care about feats like this, swimming long distances and such. Of course, there are plenty of films that are about things I don’t care about and I was made to care about them by the film. Nyad never really did enough to get me to buy into why I should care whether or not she can do it. In fact, they often make her such a miserable, unlikeable character that I sometimes found myself rooting for the ocean. The problem is, if you’re not bought in to the glory of the achievement, then you’re really just watching swimming.

55. The Color Purple - I haven’t seen the original but I had a general idea of what it’s about and I sort of formed a version of the film in my head and now, having seen this version, I think I was pretty close. Lots of melodrama about being a woman and Black and poor in the South in the past. It’s not fun! This version has music, at least. A lot of enjoyable songs. Great performances (in singing and choreography). They’re the high points of the film by far and keep things lively. Honestly, another song was something to look forward to when you’re caught in the trauma and sadness parts. It’s a visually strong film as well. Good acting, with Taraji P. Henson, Fantasia Barrino, and especially Danielle Brooks doing strong work. All that said, I write a lot of these reviews and get to the end and say something like “this is coming off more negative than how I actually feel about the film.” This is sort of the opposite. All of this sounds more positive than how I felt about the film. Despite my enjoyment of the musical bits and appreciation of the acting, the film is a lot of dull melodrama. Maybe primarily that. That’s why it’s around here on the list.

54. The Super Mario Bros. Movie - I enjoyed the incorporation of musical themes from the game and some of the Easter Eggs. It’s a pleasant looking film. Colorful but not overwhelming. Is this just stuff I like about the games, though? Maybe there’s credit, at least, in the movie knowing what to pull from the games. Jack Black was good as Bowser. I’m just listing things now. It’s very much a decent kid’s movie: pretty straightforward story, basic jokes. That’s fine. It’s good to have movies for kids that aren’t torturous, but I don’t have kids so I don’t get a ton out of this.

53. Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom - It’s mostly a mess. Most of it is CGI’d to hell, so much so that you start to question whether Jason Momoa is even real. The action scenes aren’t very interesting and neither is the plot. There’s a lot of flat acting in it, too. It’s not what you would call a good film. But you know what? There’s actually a decent amount of enjoyable stuff in here. Some funny lines and gags (though many that do not work). And much of the second act has Momoa reuniting with Patrick Wilson’s villain/brother character from the first film and they have a little buddy comedy thing going that works surprisingly well. Their chemistry is good. Momoa himself is very charismatic. He’s trying. He just has very little to work with. The fun stuff in the film is simply not enough to save it but it at least prevents it from being a train wreck and makes it not a miserable watch.

52. The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial - Well directed, well written (it’s based on a 1950s play which is based on a 1950s novel so it’s mostly adapted but it’s been modernized well), well acted. William Friedkin was a masterful director, and he’s able to mostly keep the film moving and the energy up. Ultimately, though, it does end up feeling like the straight up play adaptation that it is. 95% of the film takes place in one room and it’s essentially a dialogue-only film, and there’s only so much you can do to prevent it from slowing down, even as an expert director.

51. Past Lives - There’s some strong acting and good writing in parts. Moments of brilliance (mostly in the last half hour) but I need more overall. Humor, drama. Something. I’ll settle for more dialogue. It’s a movie with a lot of walking and sightseeing. Very long takes with very few lines. I appreciate letting a moment breathe but, well, let me put it like this: it's a 105 minute movie and I looked up the screenplay and it’s 85 pages long and the dialogue within is written twice, one in Korean and once in English. That’s not an equation that adds up to a fast (or really even medium) paced film.

50. Gran Turismo - Decently directed. The action scenes are well shot and have good energy. David Harbour is very good, turning what might be a cliché curmudgeonly mentor character into a charming curmudgeonly mentor character. He takes really basic lines and imbues them with some life. That’s sort of the problem with the whole script, though. It’s very basic in both plot and dialogue. (There are tons of lines that are just describing what’s happening. “Gotta catch this guy!” “Make the turn!” It’s not the worst thing but once you catch it, you don’t stop hearing it.) There are parts of this film that rise above its base level of basic-ness, but not too many.

49. Dumb Money - Credit to the filmmakers for taking a story that doesn’t really lend itself to a plot nor have any real heroes and crafting a watchable film out of it. It’s entertaining enough and has a few laughs. The second act is very repetitive as they run through the hold or sell question like half a dozen times. I don’t know if this is valid as film criticism because it’s based on me knowing a lot about this story in real life but I found myself rolling my eyes at much of the film and its attempts to oversimplify and create heroes. That’s the issue with telling a story that just happened. The full fallout of the story hasn’t occurred yet. Some of the things in the film have already aged poorly. There’s a title card at the end saying what happened to some of the characters and one says a character was still holding GameStop stock waiting to sell. The stock is like 80% lower now than it was at the peak this film presents. She’s screwed. She’s not a real person, but she does represent a lot of real people who did get caught up in the excitement of this thing and got left holding the bag when it stopped working. Again, I debate with myself if that’s a legit way to criticize a film, so I’ll put that aside and just settle on this being fine.

48. No Hard Feelings - The story, the characters, the comedy: certainly could’ve been better but still passable. They all come together to make a solid enough film with a few laughs but nothing extraordinary.

47. Strays - It has some laugh out loud moments but most of the humor is more “hah.” than actually funny. That’s a problem for a film like this which is really about the jokes more than anything. There is some heart to the film but I don’t know if it’s a strength of the writing so much as an exploitation of our feelings about dogs. That is, show us a dog being sad, then being happy, and their faces and our brains do most of the work. It’s a nice effort to try and create some depth in a film that’s mostly about dogs cussing and humping things, at least.

46. Pinball: The Man Who Saved the Game - Cute and cleverly told. It has some good moments and a likability to it but not enough drama to really carry it over even its 90 minute runtime. It basically tries to get by on being cute and cleverly told and that can only get you so far. It’s solid if not spectacular.

45. Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania - Just okay. It just doesn’t have the life the first two films in this series had. It misses the groundedness of those films and those side characters. A lot of time here is spent setting up the Quantum Realm and its factions and showing it all off but it’s hard to really care about all these new characters or this world which reads like a generic alien world and never feels more than a giant load of CGI. A lot could probably be forgiven if it was funnier but while it has moments of humor and creativity, it goes too long in between to forgive its weakness in other areas.

44. Rustin - A decent, if straightforward, civil rights biopic. A very strong performance from Colman Domingo at the center. Not a lot of surprises but it moves well enough for a biopic.

43. Champions - It’s a film about a curmudgeonly, washed up basketball coach who has to coach a team of young adults with learning disabilities. If you hear that premise and immediately build the film in your head, you’re probably at least 80% right. It’s done well, though. It has some heart and a few good laughs and moves well enough. I would’ve liked it more if it was funnier or tapped into something more emotional, but as is it’s decent enough.

42. Lift - It’s a sleek heist film with a decent score and it moves well which makes it quite watchable even if it’s not exactly a great film. It’s very clunky. The writing isn’t fun enough. Only really Billy Magnussen and Vincent D’Onofrio are given characters with some personality. They aren’t written particularly well but the actors make them work by leaning in. The rest of the team doesn’t offer a whole lot. Kevin Hart seems miscast. He’s playing a veteran criminal (think George Clooney in the Oceans movies) but he doesn’t fit the role well and he’s given almost nothing funny to do. More action than anything, which is not his wheelhouse. The main heist isn’t plotted particularly sharply. It sidelines most of the team at the halfway point so Hart and Gugu Mbatha-Raw can have an action romance style third act. Again, it’s not great. More than a handful of weird choices. But it didn’t exactly stop me from enjoying the ride, so I can’t really ding it too badly I guess.

41. Bank of Dave - Cute, sweet, kind of simple. Nothing too surprising. Could be funnier. Based off a true-ish story (as it says) and a lot of it feels movie-fied (some parts egregiously so) but it still mostly works and you can watch it and feel good.

40. Blue Beetle - It’s a DC origin film that’s about on par with the first Shazam. It shares some of the highlights and issues with Shazam, as well. Highlights: some good humor, fun character interactions between the heroes and the side characters. Issues: action is just okay, some darker tone shifts that don’t jibe with the lightheartedness in most of the rest of the film. The villain in this film was much weaker than Shazam but the soundtrack was much better and more memorable. Xolo Maridueña is a more charismatic lead, too. So, some give and take but I’d rate them around the same quality level.

39. Linoleum - Some interesting stuff for the first 80% of the film but a bit slow. An excellent finale, though, that sort of saves everything. In that sense, it’s sort of the opposite of a film like Don’t Worry Darling, proving a good ending can really make or break you. Linoleum’s strong, moody, emotional finish ties everything together and sheds light on what we’ve seen and makes the whole thing feel worthwhile.

Are you still with me? We’re about halfway there. Grab a snack. Let’s do a quick mid-list documentary break.

Still: A Michael J. Fox Movie is a creatively edited, sometimes difficult to watch film about the actor’s life with some strong emotional moments throughout. Parkinson’s is a hell of a disease.

The Eternal Memory is another touching, heart-wrenching film. Also not an easy watch but it finds a way to inject love and beauty into something quite bleak. Alzheimer’s is a hell of a disease.

Okay, let’s get to the top half of the list, which is longer than some previous whole lists. Why did I do this to myself?

38. Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. - A cute and snappy coming of age story. Doesn’t talk down and doesn’t get too melodramatic. Some sweet moments, some funny moments. I would imagine it probably hits harder for women but I can appreciate the quality of the work.

37. The Killer - Very stylish, as David Fincher does. It moves well. Michael Fassbender is very good in the role. Tilda Swinton has a good bit role, too. It’s fun as a sort of neo-noir experience but as a story it’s not incredibly fulfilling. The setup is fun (the opening sequence which gets you right inside the killer’s mind is the high point of the film), then you get the inciting incident, and then four revenge chapters which are different enough from one another to stay fresh but not entirely compelling overall in a storytelling way. It’s similar to John Wick in that sense, though it’s a bit more artistic and less action-y than that.

36. The Marvels - Funny. Good characters. Iman Vellani, who was strong as the lead in her MCU show, does an excellent job here, able to still stand out even amongst bigger acting names. There’s a power swap thing between the three leads that is inventive and creates for some very fun action scenes. The villain is entirely forgettable, though, and the story isn’t really there either. Plus, the film is structured in a weird way. It sort of skips a first act and jumps right into act two, which makes it feel a little bit unsatisfying. Not necessarily unsatisfying as in letting the viewer down, but unsatisfying in a way that makes you feel as if you’ve just watched an episodic adventure rather than a full satisfying film story.

35. Extraction 2 - A strong follow up that shares the same strengths and weaknesses from the first. Action is really well done. There’s a 20+ minute one-shot early in the film that’s so impressive and long it almost feels arrogant. Like, it just keeps going to the point where you start thinking enough already. It also kind of makes every action piece that follows feel like a let down. Chris Hemsworth is good in the role again. The weakness, like the first, is in the story. It’s mostly there just to give reason for our heroes to run around and kill bad guys.

34. Tetris - Presented in a really clever way. It moves well. It’s movie-fied for sure and you can absolutely feel it, but it’s in service of making what’s likely a pretty dry story into something more thrilling and effective.

33. Nimona - Great looking animation. A good story. Funny. Solid voice acting. It’s mostly for children but an adult can watch it, too, and appreciate some of the jokes and not be miserable.

32. Leo - Not every bit lands but there are some very good ones that produce genuine laughs. It has some heart and sweetness to it, too. Adam Sandler does solid voice work. A lot of songs, some good, some weak. Like Nimona, a cute film for kids that parents can watch and get something out of as well.

31. May December - A fascinatingly dark film with notes of sharp satire. It’s not the most thrilling film but it keeps you engaged. Well written and directed. Well acted. Natalie Portman and Julianne Moore are good, of course, but Charles Melton is excellent as well.

30. Elemental - A well done, insightful story about immigrants. The romance story was fine but didn’t really hook me. I enjoyed the film as a whole but it just didn’t hit me in the emotions like so many Pixar films do. A good film but not one of their best.

29. John Wick: Chapter 4 - A little too long to the point where even the action scenes, which are the main attraction, start to overstay their welcome. You start to go “Okay I get it, let’s move on.” Still, the action is very well done. Fun locales. A good looking film. Even a few bits of well-employed humor. I think it’s my favorite since the first one and perhaps the best one of the series but I also say that knowing that this series is very much four movies that are fun while you’re in the ride but leave your memory almost immediately after. They are what they are.

28. Maestro - Really impressive acting from Bradley Cooper and especially Carey Mulligan. Strong directing and visuals. It’s almost told in vignettes, which makes it kind of dreamlike. Some of the vignettes really work but a lot hit your sort of standard biopic pieces and don’t do as much. Overall, it’s solid.

27. Somewhere in Queens - Decent writing, decent acting, with Laurie Metcalf giving a nice performance. Complex, nuanced characters. It’s a good family dramedy with a little bit of humor and emotion.

26. Saltburn - It’s delightfully dark and keeps you interested, even if it sort of reaches an ending that, while not bad, doesn’t land with the sort of punch you want it to. There’s something missing in character motivation and plotting that makes it feel like it’s missed the mark. Still some fun performances (especially Barry Keoghan and Rosamund Pike) and excellent cinematography and design. It works as is. It just feels like there was potential for this to be more and it didn’t get there.

25. Bottoms - Very funny, very silly. I think my main problem is that it’s such a hyper-heightened reality the film takes place in that when it comes back down to Earth and tries to have some human drama it makes me roll my eyes. Having football players kept in a cage in history class and also a sincere best friends argument feels like trying to have your cake and eat it, too. Still very fun though when it sticks to the over the top satire, which is the majority of the film.

24. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny - I think part of the problem is the original three were so good and ended so perfectly, it’s really hard to find a story to make further adventures worthwhile. This one is fine, but it just doesn’t get all the way there. It doesn’t quite measure up, in basically every sense. The action, the humor – they’re there but just not totally up to par. The other thing that is a little off is that this feels very much like a modern action movie, like someone doing Indiana Jones years later. There was a pulpiness to the original three that made them feel less plastic and that’s missing here. Even with its faults, I still think this is a good film. John Williams’ music is still great and Harrison Ford still has the charisma, and there are moments where you feel the magic again. Just not enough to string together a fully great film. It leaves a better taste in my mouth than Crystal Skull, at least, even if it can’t live up to the original trilogy. Maybe it never had a chance.

23. Theater Camp - Very cute, often funny. It pokes fun at theater kids and actors but in a loving way. A sweet movie that’s an easy watch.

22. Quiz Lady - A very endearing film. Sweet, silly, funny. A little bit of heart, too. There’s certainly room for it to be funnier or more original but it works and has some good bits and fun performances.

21. Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves - Lots of fun. It has solid action pieces and good humor. Importantly, it finds ways to do fresh things with a sort of standard fantasy story and keeps it entertaining throughout. The writer/director team of Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley did this with their last film, Game Night, too. Take a premise that could be kind of bleh and get creative. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel, just write a sharp, funny script.

20. Red, White & Royal Blue - This is my token “sweet gay romcom that I have a tough time being objective about” pick. I get one of these every few years or so. It’s a very cute film with some decent humor and good flow. Sort of your standard romcom fare but it’s executed well. Should it be this high on the list, quality-wise? No, probably not. It’s not that much worse, but it’s, objectively, not that great either. I enjoyed it enough, however, to bump it up here. And it is my list after all.

19. Wonka - Like Paul King’s Paddington films, this is much better than you expect it would be or than it really needs to be. Also, like the Paddington films, this is still mostly a movie for kids so it’s only going to go so far for me. But it’s quite a delightful film. Some clever lines and gags. Good songs, though nothing iconic that will stick long term. I have to stop doubting Timothée Chalamet. When I first heard of this, I thought it was going to be a mistake, but he’s so damn charming that he’s able to pull it off. He dives headfirst into this role and gives it his all and it pays off.

18. You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah - It’s similar in theme to Are You There God? but mixed a little with Mean Girls and flavored incredibly Jewishly. I found it to be a sharper, funnier, and more modern approach to those themes. The nepotism of it all is a little gross (it’s crazy that Adam Sandler’s immediate family all won major roles in this film he produced after what I’m sure was a thorough audition process) but Sunny Sandler is, in fact, quite good in the role so you can forgive it.

17. Anatomy of a Fall - Smartly written, well acted. Sandra Hüller gives a strong, subtle performance at the center of the film and Milo Machado-Graner is great in a supporting role. The film does feel a little bit like an intense, fleshed out episode Law and Order though. There’s an hour of courtroom drama in the middle that’s engaging but also mostly dialogue on dialogue. It’s similar to The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial in that there’s only so much you can do to dress that up. It’s a film that doesn’t spoon-feed you, which I appreciate. It’s confident in its ambiguity and it lets you decide where you fall, pun absolutely not intended.

16. Air - Sharp writing, moves well, good acting. Matt Damon and Viola Davis are especially strong. (Damon delivers a speech near the end of the film that is particularly affecting.) Nothing groundbreaking. Just a really well done sports/business story.

15. Next Goal Wins - Sweet, funny, and some heart as well. The story has some clunkiness and there are definitely some misses amongst the many jokes in the film, but a lot more that works than doesn’t. Michael Fassbender is very good and Oscar Kightley is excellent as the surprising heart of the film. It gives you everything you want from a feel good sports film.

14. Oppenheimer - Some great stuff but also simply too long. The film is paced well enough for a three hour film but it likely didn’t need to be three hours. The most compelling stuff, as you might imagine, is the creation and moral implications of building a world destroying bomb. Interpersonal affairs, while interesting enough still, are much less so. Good acting from Cillian Murphy and Robert Downey Jr., who really are the only ones to get enough screen time in this giant cast to truly make their mark. (I would argue though, if you wanted to trim an hour from this film, you could probably pare down Downey’s role almost entirely.) Good directing and writing, taking what might be very dry material and keeping it enthralling.

13. Barbie - I really like how many wild swings this film took for being a big budget film based on a worldwide property. Interesting characters. Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling do great work in their roles. Sharp writing. More than a few laugh out loud jokes and gags (though also a handful that fall flat). It does veer into too silly territory at some points and drags a little here and there but is able to recover, usually by taking a sharp left turn you don’t expect. Its messages are laid on thick but it’s playing to a certain younger audience so I’ll roll with it. A couple of nice humanist moments as well (which is something Greta Gerwig excels at including in her films) though nothing in the film that really cut through me emotionally.

12. Blackberry - A fairly straightforward rise and fall story of a tech company but particularly well done. Fun, smart, doesn’t drag. Good music, good style. Glenn Howerton in his wheelhouse as a barely restrained maniac and gives an excellent, memorable performance.

11. Rye Lane -  Smart, sharp writing. Strong performances from the two leads, David Jonsson and Vivian Oparah, who have great chemistry. Fun direction and editing. It rolls right along for about 75 minutes, tells its story, and then ends. This is another film where it’s like: is this, at its core, just a very cute rom com? Yes. But while it’s not reinventing the genre it is a great execution of it.

10. All of Us Strangers - A truly beautiful, haunting film about love and loss and the things we wish we could say. It’s very artsy so it certainly has its slow points where moments just breathe and breathe, but its high points are so damn high. It’s like an emotional assassin. Several scenes, especially in the back half, that just nail you right in the heart. It’s basically a four actor film - Andrew Scott, Paul Mescal, Jamie Bell, and Claire Foy - and each of them puts in just tremendous work, all worthy of being on my top five individual performances list.

9. Society of the Snow - “Alive - Now with real Latinos!” It’s a pretty straightforward survival film about a story that you’ve likely heard of and so there aren’t really a ton of surprises but it’s expertly made. Shot well, acted well. Tense and thrilling. Aided by a beautiful score from Michael Giacchino. It’s a brutal story but one that’s also about sacrifice and strength and hope. It’s a simple theme but it lands well, puns still completely unintended.

8. Poor Things - Absolutely fascinating from a visual and musical standpoint, as Yorgos Lanthimos does. His directing is truly excellent and matches great with Tony McNamara’s sharp writing. The film is just a bit too long. You can feel it gaining and losing momentum in the back half. Mark Ruffalo’s scenes are definitely the best in the movie and the others, while generally good, are just not as strong (with Willem Dafoe’s scenes being the strongest of the rest). Excellent acting performances from Ruffalo and Dafoe and especially Emma Stone at the center of this wild ride.

7. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse - A fantastic sequel, on par with the first. Smart, funny, emotional writing, good voice acting. The visuals are excellent but often have so much happening on screen you can’t focus and have to just kind of glaze over and let it go. It’s fine – you never really feel lost – but it’s also kind of sad because there are interesting details happening that you almost literally can’t catch without stopping the movie. I was really loving this film until the final minutes. Without giving too much away, I’ll just note it basically concludes on a “to be continued…” note, stopping at what feels like the mid-point of the third act. It’s an ending that doesn’t not work but movies that end like that leave a bad taste in my mouth. Set up threads for the next film, sure, but don’t leave me hanging completely. Don’t make me leave your film with a groan. The ending was obviously not enough to make me hate the film, hence why it’s way up here on the list, but it would’ve been higher with a more complete one.

6. Leave the World Behind - A fascinating neo-paranoia thriller that’s masquerading as an apocalypse film, which is very meta in itself. It has a lot of interesting things to say about us as a society, which risks it getting preachy, but it walks the line by telling the story in a really engaging way and never sacrificing plot for message. Good acting, smart writing, and interesting directing. It doesn’t force you to a conclusion but presents you with some ideas and lets you decide.

5. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 - A little overstuffed but other than that a really wonderful end to this trilogy. James Gunn brings the humor, the music, the emotional beats, the action. He writes these characters and their interactions so well. I don’t know how or if this series will continue, but whoever takes it over will have a tremendous challenge trying to match Gunn. It would have been a travesty to have not let him come back and close out this chapter for these characters, and I’m so glad they got one last ride under his direction.

4. Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One - It feels like there should be another dash or colon or something between Dead Reckoning and Part One, right? But that’s how they list it. I think they got self-conscious about already having too many punctuation marks in the title. One more would look ridiculous. The night after we watched this film the first time, we were going to watch another film that we’d been putting off (it appears on this list, much lower) and all I could think while navigating towards the other film was how much I just wanted to watch Dead Reckoning again instead. That’s the kind of film this is. It energizes you. It makes you want to come back for more. The action sequences are fantastic, as always. The humor is there. The visuals. The music. The franchise has had issues with villains (generally its weak point) and making the main villain of this arc a nebulous computer program isn’t really helping to remedy that. (Esai Morales is fine but unremarkable as the human face of that program.) The decision to make the villain an AI that can manipulate essentially anything adds a really nice dose of paranoia to all the proceedings but also requires a lot more heavy exposition and makes the film much more heady. Making you think a little more isn’t necessarily a bad thing for a film, but is it the right choice for a Mission: Impossible film? I’m not sure. It’s maybe better for these films to just have a MacGuffin and keep things moving. Still, this film’s nearly three hours fly by and despite it being a “part one,” it tells a full enough story to be satisfying.

3. Asteroid City - The music, production design, and cinematography are excellent as always with Wes Anderson. Strong acting from the whole ensemble in small pieces and a surprisingly strong performance by Jason Schwartzman at the center. Smart writing as well. Fast and very funny, and then movingly poignant. It’s a little inaccessible in parts. The plot is purposefully all over the place and it can make it quite difficult to parse exactly what’s going on at first glance, but I think the greater message still comes through and in a deeply emotional way, in my view at least. It really worked for me.

2. American Fiction - Tremendous writing. A strong, smart, very funny satire about media mixed with a moving family dramedy. Great acting performances all around but especially Jeffrey Wright, who is excellent as the film’s anchor, and Sterling K. Brown, who delivers a very strong supporting performance, embodying a character who’s both funny and deeply pained. Everything about this movie works.

1. The Holdovers - I guess the theme of this year’s list is “brilliant execution.” No other film for me embodies that theme this year more than The Holdovers. Yes, the film is your sort of standard “curmudgeon bonds with young person who melts his heart” tale but it is executed flawlessly. It finds the right tone immediately and never lets it slip. A pitch perfect mix of humor and drama. Heart and sorrow. Very human. Sharp writing. Brilliant acting all around. Paul Giamatti is fantastic. The too smart for his own good sad sack who is actually a human being underneath the layers of protection he puts between himself and other people. Da’Vine Joy Randolph, who, if this blog’s search function worked, you could find me singing the praises of for years, once again turns in an excellent performance. I’m so glad she’s getting big-time recognition. Dominic Sessa is great, as well, and it’s very impressive that he’s going toe to toe with these other two established actors and sticking right with them. The core three characters’ stories unfold so beautifully throughout the film, getting you to empathize with them slowly and naturally. It’s filled with great music and great visuals. You feel yourself in New England in the 1970s. I think the thing I can say most in favor of this film is that I just didn’t want it to end. It’s such a warm, wonderful story that I was actually disappointed when I felt it turning from act two to act three and starting to wrap up. In a year where I’ve complained over and over that a lot of these films are too long, this was the one film I could’ve spent much, much more time in.

Time to do some individual awards.

Best Actor

5. Jason Schwartzman, Asteroid City 4. Barry Keoghan, Saltburn 3. Andrew Scott, All of Us Strangers 2. Jeffrey Wright, American Fiction 1. Paul Giamatti, The Holdovers

Best Actress

5. Sandra Hüller, Anatomy of a Fall 4. Natalie Portman, May December 3. Margot Robbie, Barbie 2. Carey Mulligan, Maestro 1. Emma Stone, Poor Things

Best Supporting Actor

5. Paul Mescal, All of Us Strangers 4. Willem Dafoe, Poor Things 3. Glenn Howerton, Blackberry 2. Sterling K. Brown, American Fiction 1. Mark Ruffalo, Poor Things

Best Supporting Actress

5. Julianne Moore, May December 4. Rosamund Pike, Saltburn 3. Claire Foy, All of Us Strangers 2. Danielle Brooks, The Color Purple 1. Da’Vine Joy Randolph, The Holdovers

Best Directing

5. Emerald Fennell, Saltburn 4. J. A. Bayona, Society of the Snow 3. Yorgos Lanthimos, Poor Things 2. Wes Anderson, Asteroid City 1. Alexander Payne, The Holdovers

Best Writing

5. Greta Gerwig and Noah Baumbach, Barbie 4. Tony McNamara, Poor Things 3. Wes Anderson, Asteroid City 2. David Hemingson, The Holdovers 1. Cord Jefferson, American Fiction

And now let’s look at the ACTORS WEB:

What a nightmare! Here’s a fun fact about the making of this graphic: I almost cried and gave up on it four or five times! I saw too many movies with too many big casts this year. A terrible mistake on my part.

Okay, that’s more than enough for this post. It’s over. We made it.

Enjoy the Oscars.

- - - - -

Read More:

Annual Lists of Movies I Saw the Past Year

[dreamerwitches]

Scene Zero for Dummies

I'm going to be a martyr and list out all the important plot beats for scene zero so that no one else has to slog through it like me. Let's goooo

Scene 1

Mabayu loves movies, is bad at socialising and lying, is most likely autistic, very lazy and works at her aunt's - Sakie - cafe. She's a year above most of the girls at school, in Mami's year.

While watching a movie, time pauses because of Homura and Mabayu gets paused too. She can resume the paused TV when she touches it.

Time pauses at school for her and she uses this time to copy a students answers during a test.

Mabayu sees Kyubey outside but Sakie doesn't see them, thinking she saw Amy. A cat that visits outside the cafe regularly.

Mabayu has a soul gem ring but doesn't remember where she got it from. She has no idea she is currently a magical girl.

At the cafe Mabayu gets a sudden vision of Amy getting hit by a car. She goes outside and sees it happened and Madoka is crying over her. Madoka and Sakie go to the vet with Amy while Mabayu looks after the cafe.

Amy suddenly gets better at the vet with the vets declaring it a miracle. This was because Madoka made her wish to save Amy.

The school goes on an annual visit to an auto plant (what a lame school trip huh). Mabayu accidentally wanders into a witch's labyrinth but Mami pulls her out with her ribbons.

Meanwhile, parts of episode 10 are happening during this. Homura is in her second loop. Eg. tells Madoka in class she's a magical girl too. Homura actually tells Mami and Madoka about her wish and being from the future here but the two have a hard time believing it.

Homura struggles fighting witches so Mami actually gives her a book on how to make explosives (guess she didnt look it up online this time eh?)

Mabayu follows Mami after being curious of her being a magical girl (she still doesn't know about them) but Mami acts weirdly saying she'll kill her (I have no idea why this is so out of character). Mabayu runs away in fear into a Bartels barrier and it kills her and later Mami (sigh)

Episode 10 plays out where Madoka becomes Kriemhild and Homura finds out about witches

Film 2

Mabayu is surprised to wake up at the beginning of the loop and thinks everything was a dream.

Kyubey finally approaches Mabayu saying they've already made a contract with Mabayu.

The Amy incident happens just the same as last time as Mabayu forgets to interfere.

Meanwhile, Homura is unsure about sharing the truth with others.

Mabayu uses her magic at school. She can turn invisible in her magi form by bending light. Her magic can also let her hear conversations from a way away as well as basically zoom in in real life.

She spies on Madoka and Mami in Mami's apartment. Homura enters, telling them not to listen to Kyubey but doesn't elaborate as she doesn't think they're ready yet.

Mabayu wants to find Homura's address at school so she can meet her but cannot find it in the staff room.

At the auto plant visit, Madoka and Homura fight the witch with Homura finally explaining her past. (but not the truth about witches) Madoka is fine with this, trusting Homura. Homura isn't ready to tell Mami yet.

Kyubey makes contact with Sayaka but she is dissuaded from contracting by Homura.

Sayaka knows about Madoka being a magical girl and is a little jealous she's so amazing. The scene with Kyosuke plays out ala episode 4 and she is swayed to contract.

Homura encounters Elly similar to Madoka in episode 4 and Sayaka saves her.

Madoka, Sayaka and Homura find Anja and Kyoko interrupts like in episode 5. Sayaka is suspicious that Homura knows Kyoko's name but is hesitant about telling Sayaka the truth.

Ala episode 10, Homura meets with everyone to tell them the truth. She tells them about witches but Mami and Sayaka don't fully trust her.

At the hospital, Sayaka wants to visit Kyosuke but Hitomi is already there. She overhears him saying he thinks Hitomi's visits are what cured his hand and Sayaka is very upset.

Sayaka's suffering arc plays out with it ending in Mami's breakdown.

Madoka and Homura fight Walpurgis with it ending in Homura killing Madoka before she can become Kriemhild. Mabayu resets along with Homura.

Film 3

Homura becomes coolTM

Homura shoots Kyubey outside Madoka's home, believing them to be dead now.

At home, Homura realises she can't tell the truth to anyone and will kill Walpurgis on her own. Mabayu arrives in her home, telling her Kyubey isn't dead.

The girls are two late and Madoka saves Amy, becoming a magical girl.

Homura is mad at Mabayu for spying on her and Mabayu gets nervous, running away.

Madoka is fighting the Minotaur witch at the auto plant but is struggling. Mabayu tries to help, using her weapon for the first time.

Homura stops time, stepping in. Mabayu is shocked Homura was going to abandon this Madoka just because she's contracted. Homura explains she doesn't want to connect to Madoka to feel the pain all over again because she knows she'll have to reset eventually in this loop.

Mabayu has a future vision. This shows that Homura can win but Mabayu will die. Knowing this is the best outcome, she goes along with it, dying.

Mami rushes over, upset at Mabayu's death. She later dies by Charlotte despite Madoka's warning. The two fight Walpurgis but fail.

Film 4

Mabayu visits Homura and both of them remember the last loop. She is at first rude but soon thanks Mabayu for sacrificing herself for the best outcome.

The two team up with Homura killing Kyubey outside Madoka's home again.

Kyubey visits Mabayu at home but she plays dumb, pretending to not understand them. She makes up a warning that if Kyubey tries to make Madoka contract something terrible will happen.

Meanwhile, Homura deals with Mami by making a truce. She'll tell her where witches will appear with her past knowledge so that she won't make any other girls contract.

Mabayu and Homura discover that the car that hits Amy was caused by a witch so they find the cause, defeating a familiar.

At the auto plant, Mabayu manages to stop Madoka and Sayaka from falling into the witch's barrier by helping them find the exit. Mabayu and Homura successfully fell the witch.

Unfortunately, Kyubey manages to meet Madoka and Sayaka, talking to them.

Kyubey tells Mami about these new candidates but since she made a deal with Homura she refuses.

Mabayu and Homura deal with Gertrud but Sayaka is injured in the crossfire. Homura uses this to warn Madoka from contracting as its dangerous.

Madoka approaches Homura and Mabayu, asking about magical girls. She is sad about Homura fighting alone and wants to help but Homura tells her adamantly not to.

Mabayu is worried that if Homura keeps telling Madoka about the danger of being a magical girl, she'll just want to help Homura more. Mabayu suggests they emphasise the fact she will no longer be human. Homura wonders if telling her the truth will help.

Madoka gets lost in Charlotte's labyrinth at the hospital. Homura decides to tell Madoka the truth about witches. Madoka then makes a wish to save Charlotte from despair, creating a strangely coloured Nagisa.

The girls then have to look after Nagisa who acts similarly to usual but more childishly. The group think that they can deal with Nagisa by fulfilling her wish.

Nagisa has nightmares of killing Mami as Charlotte and begins to think she's not a good person. She goes on a rampage, killing witches as well as Kyoko.

This film explains Mabayu's mother's backstory. She had a future vision that was never wrong but one day saw that she was going to die of illness and it broke her. She became a different person, begging no one to approach her in hospital.

Seeing no option to save Nagisa, Mabayu uses her magic to alter her memories. She cuts it like a film, removing her memories of killing Mami and Kyoko.

Nagisa gets a cheesecake baked by Sakie.

The girls fight Walpurgis and Nagisa is finally at peace so disappears. Homura resets

Film 5

Homura states they cannot let Madoka know about witches as they'll have another mess like Nagisa to deal with.

At the auto plant, Mabayu helps out Madoka and Sayaka again. Homura freezes time and kills Kyubey so that they cannot talk to Madoka and Sayaka.

Homura has sent Mami to another city so that she's out of their hair.

Mabayu is tasked with stalling Madoka and Sayaka from running into a witch at the mall but she's nervous about talking to them. Mabayu decides to ask Sayaka if she wants to work at her aunt's cafe.

Sayaka asks Mabayu why she wanted to hire her for work. Mabayu states she knows she collects DVDs but Sayaka is suspicious of how she knows so. Mabayu tries to lie but Sayaka sees right through her.

Kyubey tries to contact Sayaka to contract but she doesn't understand what they're saying.

Homura defeats Charlotte in the hospital. Kyubey appears and Mabayu uses a borrowed gun to kill them, masking it in the public space as a fire extinguisher going off.

Mabayu discovers that Madoka and Sayaka visited the hospital to see Kyosuke. Both Mabayu and Homura were unaware of him before now.

Homura asks Mabayu to see into the future but in it Sayaka has contracted. Homura realised she overlooked Sayaka while focusing on Madoka.

Homura is mad at Sayaka so prepares to fight her however Mabayu butts in. She doesn't want Sayaka to get hurt so asks Homura to let her deal with Sayaka instead. She plans on becoming her friend so she won't turn into a witch or have a bad effect on Madoka.

Kyoko doesn't interfere with Sayaka as she doesn't visit Mitakihara in this timeline.

Mabayu continues to fail at becoming closer friends with Sayaka as she's too bad at conversations. She's also put off by the fact she thinks of herself more as a senpai (an older classmate) than a friend.

Sayaka later fights Elsa Maria with Homura aiding. She is mad at Homura and an incident makes Mabayu appear where she was previously invisible. Sayaka is mad that Mabayu was working with Homura all along. The three tussle but oh what a surprise, Madoka contracts to make Sayaka no depress any more wow

Madoka and Sayaka fight Walpurgisnacht but fail, Homura resetting time.

Film 6

Mabayu apologises for messing up but Homura is fine with it since they learnt a lot. She honestly doesn't want to kill Sayaka at the end of the day.

Mabayu hires Sayaka again but this time knows her better, pointing out her love of classical music.

Sayaka discovers Mabayu is a magical girl but the two seem on good terms about it. Mabayu explains what she can remember of her wish (as it is still unknown to her) and that it was a wish for another person.

Kyosuke's tantrum from episode 4 plays out as Mabayu watches in hiding.

Sayaka is about to make her wish but Mabayu intervenes. She tries to dissuade her but fails.

Mabayu and Sayaka go witch hunting together. Mabayu chooses a song for Sayaka to fight to which apparently improves her strength.

Mabayu spies on Hitomi and Sayaka having their conversation like in episode 7. Mabayu is unsure how to cheer Sayaka up from this.

Sayaka asks Mabayu if she can see into the future about Hitomi's confession but backpedals, losing confidence. Mabayu hopes Sayaka will confess instead.

Sayaka seemingly decides to confess but Kyubey tells her she's no longer human and loses her resolve.

Sayaka faces Elsa Maria like usual.

Sayaka skips school the next day and later is found on the Soul-gem-throwing-bridge and does the deed herself. Unfortunately, this hustle makes Madoka contract whoops (she's really an idiot in scene zero huh)

Reset time whee

Film 7

Mabayu decides against letting Sayaka contract this time.

Mabayu pretends she has fortune telling abilities, trying to dissuade Sayaka from thinking about a contract and suggests maybe raising money for surgery for him instead.

Mabayu fucks up and Sayaka contracts anyway wow

Homura realises that Sayaka absolutely can't contract because clearly she's a fucking idiot

Madoka becomes a magical girl for Sayaka NEXT

Film 8

After Sayaka has the Kyosuke incident of 2011, Mabayu decides to cut her memories of it. She reveals that the target has to be thinking of the memories in order for her to cut them (great writing there…)

Walpurgisnacht comes and Madoka contracts, becoming Kriemhild.

Film 9

Mabayu practices fighting witches alone

Wow nothing really happens in this one huh. But it seems like the loops are finally getting to Mabayu mentally

Film 10

Homura and Mabayu leave town to stock up on grief seeds but Mabayu is killed by Kyoko

Kyoko kills Mami too wow thats so out of character…

Film 11

Mabayu realises that she continues fighting because of her admiration for Homura.

Kyubey suggests Mabayu replaces Madoka as the big entropy ending power source

Film 12

Mabayu suggests they get Mami to help them but Homura is against it

Homura instead recruits Kyoko, swaying her with the promise of plenty of grief seeds

Homura and Mabayu grow a little closer with Homura allowing her to call her by her first name. This makes Mabayu upset I think because she’s worried about getting too close with Homura

Kyoko tells Mami the truth about witches. Mabayu decides to cut Mami’s memories but sees herself in them, leading toooo

Film Mami Tomoe

Wow Mami is finally important thank fucking god! This is set before everything btw

Mabayu meets Mami with Kyubey and decides on a wish quickly. To remove her mother’s future sight so she no longer knows about her predicted death.

Mami and Mabayu work together by Mabayu holding back but using her future sight and Mami fighting for her, sharing the grief seed.

After an incident with a rookie magical girl, Mabayu learns she can cut memories. The girl seems to go missing and the two are worried, Mami thinking it's her fault

This bit is weird, it seems to play out like film 1 but from Mami's point of view. Mabayu suddenly seems to not know her. (Kyubey is affected too)

Homura is coolTM so its not film 1 I guess. Homura tells Mami not to talk with Mabayu.

Mami thinks Mabayu erased her memories of their time together.

Kyoko tells Mami the truth about witches.

Mabayu meets up with Mami and sees her memories which brings her old ones back. She realises Mami is guilty about leading other girls to their deaths by making them contract. Mabayu thinks she's a coward for cutting her own memories but leaving Mami with the burden.

It is revealed Homura was trying to keep Mami and Mabayu apart so that Mabayu wouldn't regain her memories of Mami and the time they spent together. (I dont really know why...)

Mabayu uses future sight for Homura, saying they'll win and fix everything, but this is a lie. She actually saw herself becoming a witch.

As Mabayu is close to falling into despair, Madoka wishes to save her.

Then we go to film 0, I dont know why this is getting so hard to follow...

It seems like this is the first timeline, the start of episode 10.

Madoka makes a contract to save Amy.

Mabayu is friends with Mami here.

Meanwhile Mabayu meets Ultimate Madoka??? It seems she is showing Mabayu these events.

Mabayu helps Madoka with the minotaur witch.

Mabayu sees Walpurgisnacht while future-visioning for the minotaur witch and tells Mami and Madoka.

Episode 10 plays out

The girls defeat Charlotte with Mami surviving.

Walpurgisnacht comes and Mabayu uses her future vision but sees they will fail and both Mabayu and Mami will become witches.

Mabayu lies, saying they'll defeat the witch.

At Walpurgisnacht, Mabayu confesses she lied before and she suddenly sees numerous films of the anime.

Mabayu says something dumb and cuts her own memories "Her future vision shows her a film with a future in which her vision of the future is already woven in. So if she erases her memories of despair, then the future will turn into hope!" like what the fuck does that mean? But Mami knew she was lying anyway cause she's a terrible liar so Mabayu you fucking solved nothing

Mami and Mabayu both die by Walpurgisnacht and Homura contracts.

Mabayu awakes in a new timeline and goes to cut Kyubey and Mami's memories of her.

And now we're FINALLY back to the main story

Mabayu cuts the film of her fate(?) I guess making it so she forgets about witches.

Madoka, Homura, Kyoko and Mabayu go to find Mami in the school where she's laid out a trap. She wants to 'free Mabayu of Homura's brainwashing' and wants to run away with her.

Mami doesn't want her memories to be cut because she doesn't want to stop being Mabayu's friend but in the end she accepts it, Mabayu cutting her memories.

They fight Walpurgis but fail, reset!

Film 13

Mami no longer comes up to Mabayu in the morning, she no longer remembers her as a friend.

Mabayu decides to cut Homura's memories of her and then from the entire film(?) I guess from everyone else.

At the cafe, Mami visits to buy cake and gets along with Mabayu.

The anime then plays out like usual.

-

And well that's it :T what a lame ending huh. Can you tell I was super fed up at the end? But... the story is here... sorry if things don't make sense in places, they don't make sense just as much in the story...

[glorious-blackout]

ten people i'd like to get to know better

I was tagged by @daddy-long-legssss and @yellowloid, thank you! 🥰💖

last song: Billie Eilish - Blue

favourite colour: Can never decide between red, blue or purple. Though certain musicians over the past couple of years have instilled a fondness for green in me 😅💚

last book: Have had a bit of a reading slump lately but I re-read 'Song of Achilles' by Madelline Miller and devoured it in a day. I'm currently on annual leave so I'm hopeful that I'll be able to dig into some books on my to-read list, and I've promised myself that I'll start the Lord of the Rings series before the end of the year... In terms of reading fic, I recently read and adored 'Four Walls' by the lovely @uhbasicallyjustmilex 💖

last movie: Saw both The Wild Robot and The Substance at the cinema this week, which were very different movies but I highly loved them both. I suspect I'll be thinking about the latter for a long time.

last TV show: I've been rewatching episodes of Taskmaster in between working on my fic, specifically series 12 as I have a massive crush on Victoria Coren-Mitchell 😅

sweet/spicy/savoury: Spicy, very closely followed by sweet.

relationship status: Happily single, though my best friend did declare us 'platonic soulmates' the other day and proposed buying a house together in Edinburgh 😂 Alas, having looked through Rightmove, we've agreed that moving to Edinburgh is in neither of our financial interests...

last thing I googled: Noyant-la-Gravoyère, for fic-related reasons.

current obsessions: Feel like I've ended up with a ton of mini-obsessions this year as opposed to one major one, but Fontaines D.C. and The Last Dinner Party are fairly high up that list as they've released my favourite albums of the year 💚 I've had a lot of fun digging into the works of Gojira, Kendrick Lamar and Leonard Cohen lately, and Billie Eilish's latest album remains on constant rotation. I've also had a reawakening of my love for David Gilmour, Käärijä and TLSP due to a combination of two amazing gigs and the process of writing my fic.

looking forward to: I have a few gigs coming up which I'm really excited for, including Bob Vylan next week, Kneecap next month and Fontaines D.C. in December 💚 I'm also excited to make more progress on editing my fic and finally unleashing it into the world, even though it's only in that pesky early draft stage for the moment 😅

tagging: @rock-n-roll-fantasy, @aeolianblues, @see-sawed, @thespiritofvexation, @king-of-kaoss, @burn-on-the-flame and @chrysochromulina 💖

[thepropertylovers]

The Design Trend I've Loved for Years is Taking the Internet by Storm: Dark Academia

It finally has a name!!!

I couldn’t put my finger on it, I just knew that I liked it. No, I loved it. It felt like all the best parts of my favorite kind of design put into one: Cozy, collected, cluttered, yet controlled. The 4 C’s, if you will. And now it finally has a name that makes so much sense, I’m wondering why I didn’t think of it to begin with:

Dark Academia

If you’ve ever seen the movie Knives Out and found yourself drooling over the mansion the movie is set in, you may be a fan of Dark Academia, too. It’s a look that feels collected over time and carries with it an air of sophistication and, well, academia. Think lots of stacked books, picture frames on walls, textures and patterns, layers, and dark colors/wallpaper on the walls.

It’s a style I have done and loved for years, but I never knew there was actually a name for it until I saw this post from Scene Therapy, where they describe the style as “combining the traditional accoutrement of the ancient Oxbridge scholar with the shades and designs of a seasonal murder mystery.”

And then after this post from Architectural Digest popped up in my email, I knew it was time to finally acknowledge that Dark Academia is officially a style that people are talking about and loving, and I’m so glad. While we’re fixing up Holiday House at the farm, which will be a mostly white and cream color palette inside, we’re going to be getting into more warm, earthy, and dark colors for our house in town, and I’m excited to lean into the Dark Academia style here at home.

Architectural Digest goes on to say:

“Unlike other aesthetic microtrends born from the internet, like cluttercore or cottagecore, the murky atmosphere of dark academia seems to have kept the style from burning out fast and bright. According to Google’s Year in Search, an annual retrospective of trending searches compiled by the tech company, dark academia was among ten trending interior styles from 2022, a representative confirmed. Among the other styles on the lists—aesthetics like Scandinavian, modern farmhouse, art deco, and bauhaus—dark academia was the only one that had a direct correlation to a social media subculture. Looking back on the past five years, styles like midcentury modern and boho have dominated when it comes to capturing the attention of people around the globe; however, there’s a case to be made that dark academia could soon become an interiors stronghold.”

I am very excited to see where this trend goes and if it’s here to stay. And in the meantime, if you need me, I’ll be watching Knives Out on repeat.

(photos via Set Decorators Society of America)

[glenngaylord]

My Moments Out Of Time In Film 2023

My Moments Out Of Time - Glenn Gaylord’s Look Back at 2023 In Film

I’m of the opinion that every year can be a really good year for movies if you’re willing and able to do a little digging. But transcendent, formula-defying, unforgettable work seems to come along much less frequently. In 2023, I repeatedly saw a rare level of greatness, almost a rewriting of cinematic language. I think of how the marriage of sound and imagery achieved a type of singularity in The Zone Of Interest, or how the camera’s omniscient point of view in Poor Things seemed to reflect the mind of its protagonist. All Of Us Strangers and Past Lives seemed to run on pure emotional poetry. Bottoms and Rotting In The Sun opened up a new type of comedy in which queer people unleashed powerful levels of fury and unapologetic lust. Origin ignored most rules of screenwriting structure to forge a compelling and new way of looking at societal systems. Although not quite as trailblazing as the above-mentioned titles, I also loved The Holdovers, Are You There, God? It’s Me Margaret, May December, Killers Of The Flower Moon, Oppenheimer, BlackBerry, Air, M3Gan, You Hurt My Feelings, Passages, Huesera: The Bone Woman, Anatomy Of A Fall, Saltburn, Dream Scenario, Ferrari, Rustin, The Color Purple, Fallen Leaves, Godzilla Minus One, The Teacher’s Lounge, Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One, and Wonka. Now that’s just scratching the surface. It was that kind of year.

So, instead of compiling a Top Ten List, which from what you can see above, would prove nearly impossible, I like to pay homage to a long-discontinued but influential annual column called “Moments Out Of Time” from Film Comment magazine. Their critics would cite their favorite scenes, images, or lines of dialogue, even from films they may not have liked. I may have hated the sappy, Hoosiers wanna-be, The Boys In The Boat, for example, but the image of the coxswains sporting those cone-shaped bullhorns strapped to their mouths made an impression. So, here, in no particular order, are my Moments Out Of Time for 2023.

A father looks over his brood as they splash around in their backyard pool. We see the billowing smoke from an approaching train as it crosses the horizon. That the father is a Nazi commandant and the train is arriving at Auschwitz makes turns a seemingly innocuous image and makes it bone-chilling - The Zone Of Interest

“Owwwwww” a perfectly droll and hilariously delivered reaction from Duncan Wedderburn (Mark Ruffalo) - Poor Things

A father (Jamie Bell) tells his grown son (Andrew Scott) that he wishes he could have been more attentive and supportive of him when he had been bullied as a child. The emotional truth on the faces of these two exceptional actors left me sobbing. It’s a dream conversation for so many - All Of Us Strangers

Two students toss a football in the wintry commons of a Massachusetts Prep School as the folk strains of “Silver Joy” by Damien Jurado plays on the soundtrack. It not only perfectly evokes films from the time such as Hal Ashby’s Harold And Maude, but feels like it was actually made in 1970 as well - The Holdovers

A high school principal uses the intercom to blare, “Could the ugly, untalented gays please report to the principal's office?”, which serves to announce a film which, dare I say, takes Heathers, upends it, slathers on layer upon layer of lesbian horniness, to result in something truly subversive and unique - Bottoms

Two South Korean childhood sweethearts reunite in Manhattan decades later, and Nora’s (Greta Lee) incredulous reaction of “Wow” as she walks beside Hae Sung (Teo Yoo) sums up the immense warmth of this gloriously poetic film - Past Lives

That insane twist midway through had me whispering to myself, “Holy Janet Leigh!” - Rotting In The Sun

Speaking of twists, the year’s biggest WTF moment happens towards the end of this film. You’ll know it when you see it as this girl crush of a story turns into something unexpectedly sinister - Eileen

A woman explains to an author why her father named her Miss. The monologue, filled with equal parts pride, anger and despair, and delivered by a never better Audra McDonald, should be studied by actors for decades - Origin

The slow-moving grocery store conveyor belt as it carries sanitary napkins for our protagonist and her friend proves to be a beautifully sustained, hilariously awkward coming of age moment - Are You There, God? It’s Me Margaret

A mom takes her teenage daughter dress shopping and traumatizes her with the cringiest, most passive-aggressive speech of 2023, “Oh Mary, I want to commend you for being so brave and showing your arms like that. That’s something I always wished I could do when I was your age. Just not care about these unrealistic beauty standards.” - May December

Godzilla’s attack on Ginza, which had a similar visceral impact on me as Spielberg’s War Of The Worlds first set piece did - Godzilla Minus One

After the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Oppenheimer gets a hero’s welcome by a roomful of cheering, stomping Americans. As their faces melt away, he sees the horrific devastation he has wrought and questions his own “heroism” - Oppenheimer

An Osage woman in 1920s Oklahoma, who truly loves her husband, knows she has to bite her tongue despite knowing he’s slowly poisoning her. The conflicting emotions on the wonderful Lily Gladstone’s face masterfully conveys her impossible situation - Killers Of The Flower Moon

The flashback which reveals Valeria (the incredible Natalia Solián) isn’t the happily pregnant, maternal, heterosexual, married woman as initially presented. It’s the moment this somewhat traditional Rosemary’s Baby homage transitions into something far more radical - Huesera: The Bone Woman

Flora (Eve Hewson) and Jeff (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) write the beautiful duet “Meet In The Middle” over Zoom, cementing their chemistry and more importantly their deeply emotional connection to music - Flora And Son

In one of my favorite transitions in cinematic history, a Nazi commandant looks down a dark hallway to see his future, a soberingly mundane yet impactful vision. We then cut back to the commandant as he descends into the dark hell of his own making - The Zone Of Interest

Canadian Jim Balsillie (Glenn Howerton in one of the best, most surprising, and scariest performances of the year) threatens the NHL board when things don’t go his way with the immortal, “I’m from Waterloo, where the vampires hang out!” - BlackBerry

A woman accused of stealing from a teacher angrily denies culpability with a series of lies. This tense tiny gem is an astute analogy for the alternative facts age we’re experiencing - The Teacher’s Lounge

“A shoe is just a shoe until my son steps into it” - Michael Jordan’s mother Deloris (Viola Davis) skillfully negotiates his Nike contract with Matt Damon’s Sonny Vaccaro, and with quiet assurance gets everything Michael deserves - Air

Entity: Put the knife in your eye - Skinamarink

The office hallway dance before the kill - M3Gan

A novelist (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) overhears her husband (Tobias Menzies) denigrating her latest work, which challenges her notions of honesty and whether it’s something she really needs or not. A great microcosm of the human condition - You Hurt My Feelings

A blisteringly narcissistic film director (Franz Rogowski), fresh out of relationship with another man, refuses to engage in a conversation with his pregnant girlfriend’s parents as they pry too much and question his motives. Bonus points for his choice of outfits during said conversation - Passages

Danielle Brooks’ Sofia mightily kicks a door in at the start of “Hell No”, cementing her legendary status in film history - The Color Purple

Pop music of the 1960s gets a lovely tribute as the strains of “A World Of Your Own” evoke The Monkees’ “Daydream Believer” with a little nod to Sgt. Pepper era Beatles. The psychedelic visuals of Willy Wonka’s shop, with its cotton candy clouds and chocolate river, only enhance the magic - Wonka

Sure, one could easily talk about the slurping of the bathtub water or the graveyard sex or the naked dance sequence, but none felt as urgent and squeamish as when Felix (Jacob Elordi) surprises Oliver (Barry Keoghan) by driving him to his parent’s house. Oliver, begging Felix not to do so and afraid of what’s to come, is the most raw, real moment in a film laden with performative interactions and deception - Saltburn

“I wish this was real” - the most heartbreaking final line of a film this year - Dream Scenario

That entire taped argument! - Anatomy Of A Fall

Bonnie (Jodie Foster) uses reverse psychology on Diana (Annette Bening) to convince her to swim from Cuba to Florida, slyly revealing the advantages of really knowing and caring about your best friend - Nyad

Barbie: You’re beautiful. The Woman On The Bench (played by legendary Costume Designer, Ann Roth): I know. - Barbie

A deadpan couple in a movie theater watch Jim Jarmusch’s The Dead Don’t Die, a cheeky homage to what clearly has influenced the fantastic filmmaker Aki Kaurismäki - Fallen Leaves

Before the March On Washington, history was really made when Bayard Rustin (a great Colman Domingo) proved himself indispensable by demonstrating every detail that went into the planning - Rustin

Rebecca-Diane: (to a roomful of tween actors) But you so deserve it on every level, you guys are so talented, so unbelievable, this will break you. This will fully destroy you - Theater Camp

Any scene in which a couple engages in a serious discussion as a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day float glides by their window is gonna make this list - Maestro

THE SCENE - you’ll know it when you see it and will never forget it - Ferrari

The motorcycle over the cliff stunt. When Tom Cruise says he’ll die for us, believe him - Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One

Tilda Swinton meets her match in Michael Fassbender and has that haunting moment of realization that she’s not as clever as she thought she was - The Killer

The unnerving sight of hundreds of planes plummeting to the ground - Knock At The Cabin

Put Margo Martingale as Ranger Liz, with her delightfully terrible aim, on a gurney in an ambulance being chased by a bear high on cocaine, add Depeche Mode’s 80s synth classic “Just Can’t Get Enough” and you have my favorite chase sequence since To Live And Die In L.A. or maybe even The French Connection - Cocaine Bear

Remind me never to crawl across a ladder precariously propped up between two apartment buildings. I can feel the acrophobia kicking in as I type this - Scream VI

If you’ve ever experienced a maintenance request being ignored, just be grateful Hong Chau’s self-involved Jo isn’t your landlord. Every time she shrugged off Michelle Williams’ pleas, I wanted to call HUD myself - Showing Up

Maybe you’re just inviting trouble when you prop your apartment building door open with a rolled up newspaper and quickly run across the street to buy some water - Beau Is Afraid

Although I found the overall movie to be “cute” at best, the combination of Awkwafina and the word “Scuttlebutt” was comedy gold - The Little Mermaid

It broke my heart when one of television’s most beloved icons thought of herself as “a failed dancer” instead of as a successful actor - Being Mary Tyler Moore

It’s impossible to measure the courage it took for Michael J. Fox to repeatedly fall down (and get back up) on camera while working with a trainer. He risked humiliation to bring the plight of those living with Parkinson’s disease straight to our hearts and minds - Still: A Michael J. Fox Movie

Presented at first as quiet, shivering victims of sexual assault, five women kidnapped by Nazis get their slow motion stroll towards camera with rifles in hand and death glares on their faces - Sisu

Although I had long ago written him off as someone whose politics don’t align with my own, I couldn’t help but be moved by Jon Voight’s tear-filled pride in having made a queer cinematic classic - Desperate Souls, Dark City And The Legend Of Midnight Cowboy

Priscilla (Cailee Spaeny) paces alone in Graceland as she realizes the bloom is off the rose. Her marriage, as it turns out, will consist of waiting and obeying - Priscilla

Jennifer Lawrence kicking ass while fully naked on a beach, proving herself as adept at broad comedy as Rebekah Kochan’s Tiffani in the Eating Out series - No Hard Feelings

Meghan Thee Stallion as a sensational girl boss lights up the screen when she performs “Out Alpha The Alpha” - Dicks: The Musical

Bella Baxter: I must go punch that baby - Poor Things

No melodic score will surpass the genius of Mica Levi’s compositions combined with Johnnie Burn’s sound design - The Zone Of Interest

In the final shot, the camera cranes up to reveal Indiana Jones having literally hung up his hat. Why am I crying? - Indiana Jones And The Dial Of Destiny

When Gracie loses a client from her cake business, Julianne Moore’s meltdown surpasses her amazing scene in Magnolia when she screams at the pharmacist - May December

Two book publishers (astutely embodied by Miriam Shor and Michael Cyril Creighton) envision their mysterious Black author played by Jeffrey Wright in a “do-rag and a tank top with the muscles showing”, proving stereotypes don’t die easily. When Shor caps the discussion with “Somebody call the fire department” you know you’re in the hands of a great satirist - American Fiction

Combine exploding wine barrels as two cowboys get drenched and make out as a group of women look on with disappointment, and you have a brief return to campy, over-the-top form from Pedro Almodóvar - Strange Way Of Life

Teddy Kountze: Sir, I don’t understand. Paul Hunham: That’s glaringly apparent. Teddy Kountze: No. I can’t fail this class. Paul Hunham: Oh, don’t sell yourself short, Mr. Kountze. I truly believe that you can. -The Holdovers

[soundtrackalley]

Annual National Science Fiction Day 2023 Part 1

Check out National Science Fiction Day by enjoying this new episode!

I was going to do one show for this whole thing. It didn’t happen. National Science fiction day is too strong to only have one show. So this part will be some of the movies and films I saw in 2023. Now just remember it is not a list of Brand New films only. This is a comprehensive list of films that I saw at the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema this past year. I will grow it to be more this year. So for…

[yesthatssadirichardslove]

Spielberg wins big as Golden Globes make comeback

LOS ANGELES

Steven Spielberg claimed top honors including best drama at the Golden Globes on Tuesday for his deeply personal film "The Fabelmans," as Hollywood's A-list stars flocked to the first major awards show of the year despite a series of scandals swirling around its organizers.

The other top film award, best comedy or musical, went to "The Banshees of Inisherin" -- a tragicomedy about a shattered friendship on a remote Irish island that ended the night with the most movie prizes.

Spielberg, who also took home the award for best director, thanked his family including his late mother, who he said would be "up there kvelling about this right now."

"The Fabelmans" covers the troubled marriage of Spielberg's parents, anti-Semitic bullying, and the director's early efforts making zero-budget movies with his teenage friends.

"Everybody sees me as a success story, and everybody sees all of us the way they perceive us based on how they get the information," said the 76-year-old filmmaker. "But nobody really knows who we are until we're courageous enough to tell everyone who we are."

Spielberg said films like "E.T." and "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" had used elements from his real life, but he had "never had the courage to hit this story head on" until now.

Despite faring poorly at the box office, the film saw off last year's two biggest commercial hits -- James Cameron's sci-fi film "Avatar: The Way of Water," and "Top Gun: Maverick" -- to win the night's final prize.

"Inisherin" also earned a win for Colin Farrell for best comedy actor, boosting his Oscar hopes, and for writer-director Martin McDonagh for best screenplay.

The Globes, which kick off the annual film prize-giving season, have not had their usual glitz for the past two years, due to the pandemic and revelations about their organizers' lack of diversity and allegations of ethical lapses.

In particular, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, which organizes the awards, was criticized for not having a single Black member, although it has recently expanded its ranks.

All eyes were on which A-listers would show up Tuesday, as NBC -- which scrapped its broadcast of the show last year -- brought back the 80th Golden Globe Awards on a one-off basis.

As it turned out, many heavy hitters were in attendance, including Spielberg, Rihanna and Brad Pitt.

Austin Butler, stepping into Elvis Presley's blue suede shoes for rock-and-roll biopic "Elvis," won best actor in a drama.

"You were an icon and a rebel and I love you so much," said Butler to the legendary singer, in an emotional speech in which he also praised Presley's family for their support.

Eddie Murphy accepted a career achievement award at the Beverly Hills gala, while Angela Bassett won best supporting actress for Marvel blockbuster "Black Panther: Wakanda Forever."

But Cate Blanchett, who won best drama actress for "Tar," in which she plays a ruthless conductor navigating the cutthroat world of classical music, did not attend the gala.

Other prominent winners who didn't show included Kevin Costner ("Yellowstone"), Zendaya ("Euphoria") and Amanda Seyfried ("The Dropout").

Michelle Yeoh won best comedy actress for the surreal "Everything Everywhere All At Once."

Her co-star in the multiverse-hopping sci-fi film, Ke Huy Quan -- who shot to fame as a child star in "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" almost four decades ago -- won best supporting actor.

Action-packed Indian blockbuster "RRR," which has become a huge word-of-mouth hit in Hollywood, added momentum to its awards season campaign by winning best song.

"Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio" won best animated feature, while "Argentina, 1985" won best non-English language film.

On the television side, "Game of Thrones" prequel "House of the Dragon" won best drama, and "Abbott Elementary" claimed best comedy series.

Success at the Globes is often seen as a potential bellwether for films hoping to win Oscars, which take place this year on March 12.

Academy voters will begin casting ballots for Oscar nominations on Thursday, just days after the Globes gala.

But recent controversies have muddied the waters.

Host Jerrod Carmichael, who struck a daring and edgy tone throughout the night, kicked the gala off with a monologue poking fun at the HFPA.

"I'll tell you why I'm here. I'm here because I'm Black," said Carmichael.

Most of the Globes' usual swanky after-parties -- where winners parade their trophies, and losers drown their sorrows with free champagne -- did not take place this year.

Nominee Brendan Fraser and Tom Cruise, the star and producer of "Top Gun: Maverick," notably did not attend.

But despite the controversy surrounding the Globes, "Avatar" director Cameron told AFP he "didn't really think about it that much."

"Obviously I did my research about what they had gone through, and I made sure that they had been responsive to the protests and complaints and all that, which I believe they have been," he said. "I think we should celebrate the fact that an organization does such radical changes."

[coll2mitts]

Top 10 YouTube Videos of 2022

I was asked to provide TV/movie recommendations from 2022, and honestly, I don't have a whole lot to say on traditional media this year. Instead, let's dive into something I'm trying to cut back on in 2023 - my YouTube obsession.

I am subscribed to over 500 creators, and I used to try to keep up with all of them. In the past few years I've realized that was a losing battle, especially with the gradual transition from short-form skit content to hour and a half long think pieces. Doesn't prevent me from trying, however, which has been to the detriment of my sanity and my sleep schedule. But now my debilitating addiction can benefit you! Here's a list of the top 10 videos that were released this year.

#10 SethEverman - metal drummer listens to ABBA for the first time

Starting off easy, here's Seth Everman playing drums to "Mamma Mia". I've listened to this dozens of times, it hits so hard.

#9 Scene Queen - Pink Hotel

Scene Queen is the perfect intersection of my musical tastes, blending pop and metal while embodying the antithesis of every pick-me girl. I wish she were around back when I was in college and that asshat Perez Hilton was drawing dicks on Lindsay Lohan's face, then maybe I would have processed my internalized misogyny wayyyy earlier. Also she's unapologetically gay as fuck, which we love to see.

#8 Ted Nivison - I Drove to Every Rainforest Café in North America

I haven't been subscribed to Ted long, but this was my gateway drug. This video is exactly as advertised, and it is a literal ride. As someone who didn't go to a Rainforest Café until I was well into my teenage years, I don't really have the nostalgia Ted clearly rode on for 10k miles in a Toyota Tacoma. But honestly, the Rainforest Cafes are the least interesting part of this masterpiece . Instead tune in for a tale of perseverance that tested a friendship to complete a truly innocuous quest.

#7 Pinely - The MrBeast-ification of Youtube

Onma island is buried a treasure chest.

Orr focuses on how click bait-y spectacle charity videos have overrun the platform, and in the creator's effort to keep high view retention, how they exploit the people they intend to help for internet clout. Its a subject I personally find fascinating as I struggle with consuming true crime content for the same reason - it's hard to shine light on a corrupt organization or violent perpetrator without exploiting the victims in some way.

His follow-up video, The MrBeast-ification of Money, analyzes the influence of these videos on how people perceive wealth and how MrBeast-esque content affects how children consider the value of a dollar. Awesome duo, check out both to get the full picture of Jimmy's influence.

#6 Worthikids - BIGTOP BURGER: DOWN

Back in 2019 before The Rise of Skywalker killed all the goodwill Star Wars had earned in my mind, I stumbled upon this video on twitter and lost my shit. "I will use the force to heal my broken body" is my inner monologue every time I drink coffee. I immediately found them on YouTube and subscribed.

Worthikids is so unbelievably talented, not only animating in their own art style, but recreating the old school stop motion Rankin/Bass aesthetic. Bigtop Burger is an ongoing series about a clown-themed food truck beefing with a zombie themed food truck, featuring the vocal talents of some of my other favorite creators like Chris Fleming and ProZD. It's completely chaotic and about the best thing I've ever seen. It was this video, however, that had me literally crying with laughter. I'm not going to spoil it because I want you to experience it fresh, but Chris' unhinged voice paired with the elastic animation style just fucking kills me.

#5 Todd in the Shadows - The Top Ten '90s Buses

Todd in the Shadows is no stranger to top 10 lists - I look forward to his annual Top 10 Worst and Top 10 Best Songs of the Year videos. When I saw this video show up in my subscriptions feed, I, for sure, thought it was a troll. I should have known better. This is legitimately a top 10 list of '90s busses. The Spice World bus makes an appearance. It's a gem.

Todd is one of my comfort youtubers. Sometimes when I'm working on stuff I'll boot up a Trainwreckords, One Hit Wonderland, or Cinemadonna playlist and just let it ride. His disgruntled analysis, while sometimes I don't always agree with cause musical tastes are unique and varied, is strangely soothing. It comes with side effects like knowing more about Cher and Gregg Allman than I ever wanted to know, like that they were married at all, but you take the good with the bad.

#4 Drew Gooden - I took Ninja's Masterclass and it ruined my life

Drew Gooden is one of the members of the conglomerate of media commentary youtubers that I follow (there are so many, legitimately, I have a problem, so much content, make it stop, I'm sure I'm going to forget some, it's inevitable, I watch too much YouTube, how do I get anything done?), but his analytical nature and sarcastic tone really resonates with me. I particularly enjoyed his retrospective on Lily Singh's talk show that addressed the struggle YouTube creators face when adjusting themselves to fit within the confines of traditional media and expand their audience while trying to keeping their existing fan base. He also has a knack of finding the weirdest movies.

This is one in a series of videos where Drew reviews educational scams provided by content creators. He had previously covered the pains some creators face with maintaining their relatability, and offering online courses seem to be the natural progression of how to transition that online success into corporate dolla dolla billz. It's depressingly hilarious how low-effort these endeavors are, which is only proven when Drew ultimately tries to follow Ninja's expert advice to become a Twitch superstar.

As someone who spent like 450 hours streaming on Twitch this year, Drew's attempt is a great encapsulation of how isolating that experience can be. If you are also a Twitch streamer, this is a must-watch.

#3 münecat - Web3.0: A Libertarian Dystopia

I found münecat a few years ago through other anti-MLM creators because of her thorough coverage of the LuLaRoe shit show. Her videos have only gotten more detailed since then, culminating in this mammoth summary on Web3.0. I have stayed willfully ignorant of all things blockchain since I was forced to listen to some dude talk about mining bitcoin at a party back in like 2017. Münecat has done all the heavy lifting here to get me up to speed on cryptobros pyramid scheme of their very own. Plus, her work always comes with a bonus music video at the end. Score!

Also, because of this gem of a video on Russell Hartley, I now own a "Gaslight me daddy" t-shirt.

#2 Jenny Nicholson - Evermore: The Theme Park That Wasn't

Jenny Nicholson has been one of my favorite creators on YouTube since I found a video of her roasting discount Halloween costumes. What her brand has evolved into is truly remarkable, providing commentary on books, movies, theme parks, fanfiction, and random finds like church Easter plays and whatever the fuck the Hallmark channel was doing on YouTube back in 2016. I now know more about The Vampire Diaries and Bronycon than any adult should. "My horny drawing of Twilight Sparkle is presented upon this long pillow with complete neutrality," lives in my head rent-free. Any topic she covers, whether I have any familiarity with it or not, is well-researched and presented in such a captivating manner that it makes you forget how long you've been watching the video. This one is almost 4 hours long and I've watched it in its entirety more than once.

Evermore is a "theme park" located in Utah that has undergone several changes since its initial announcement back in 2014. This video, which has a longer runtime than The Irishman, goes into acute detail about the man who cooked up the concept, the development process, its lackluster implementation, and the park's current operationally neutered state that leaves it with an extremely unstable future.

I don't know if YouTube is Jenny's main gig or not, but she should 100% be a script doctor or creative consultant. Her feedback is thoughtful and presented with purpose, not just for the sake of roasting (although she's also great at that). I'd want her to be my editor if my writing wasn't garbage lmao.

#1 Defunctland - Disney Channel's Theme: A History Mystery

If you're looking for exceptional quality YouTube content, look no farther than Defunctland. Starting out with videos focused on deprecated theme park rides, over the years they've expanded their repertoire to cover retro television shows, fast-food restaurants, and theme park management. Their series about Jim Henson is legitimately one of my favorite deep-dives on a creative. This documentary, however, may be their best work.

Defunctland has always done a phenomenal job balancing humor, history, and sentimentality in their videos. "Disney Channel's Theme: A History Mystery" is no exception, functioning as a love letter to unsung creatives whose impact is immense, but their identity hidden. By the end of this masterpiece I was crying for the legacy of a person I had no awareness of an hour and a half before. Kevin should be proud of his videos, because in the act of immortalizing the media and experiences that have influenced us the most, what truly stands out is their ability to tell the story in a way that is both effective and emotional.

Keep doing what you're doing, Defunctland. You're the best of the internet.

Also, for shits and giggles, my top-rated traditional media of 2022:

Movie: RRR

Music: Scene Queen - Bimbocore Vol. 1 and 2

Television: Shoresy

Game: The Frog Detective series and Psychonauts 2

Podcast: Ear Hustle

Book: If This Book Exists, You're in the Wrong Universe by Jason Pargin

Disclaimer: I follow a lot of excellent creators that did not make this list. If I posted every single video I liked this year we'd be here forever. If you want specific recommendations for creators in certain spaces, like crafting, beauty, animation, examining religious fundamentalism, etc, go ahead and ask me. But I think this is more than enough content to entertain you for the foreseeable future :)

[domesticnct]

25 Days of NCT Christmas Johnny

Johnny is the dad that is lazy 364 days a year because Christmas day is the only day he has a lot of energy.

During the Christmas season, Johnny would be helpful but wouldn’t really initiate any holiday festivities.

He would go to your daughter’s choral recital and that would spark a little bit of the Christmas spirit in him.

All of his shopping would be done 100% online. He always asked your daughter for a comprehensive list and would spoil her by getting her everything on it which you always got mad at him for as some of the gifts were rather expensive and left a little less for gifts for your friends.

Johnny would relax while you and your daughter decorated the tree and would tell you where you should put everything. When you asked him why he didn’t help he would say “he worked all day.” At some point he would slip out of the room and moments later you would smell the wonderful aroma of pot roast.

When all the decorating was done he would walk out of the kitchen proud of his home cooked meal that he wanted to surprise you with that night.

Johnny would order all of the Christmas gifts wrapped, but would help you wrap a few of the ones you had bought in the store.

He would also host the annual Christmas party with his coworkers from Neo Culture Technology Corporation. The ones he liked anyway. Never his boss Mr. Lee who no one liked for his treatment of company employees. Especially the women.

Everyone invited to the NCT party would ditch Mr. Lee’s company party or leave early to come to Johnny’s which was always fun and kid friendly.

Christmas eve would be spent frantically cleaning the house after the holiday party from the night before and cooking a grand feast. I don’t know why, but I just see Johnny as being the type of person that has his big Christmas feast on Christmas eve instead of Christmas day.

The evening would be spent playing board games with your daughter and his parents would come to visit and have dinner with you all and play games. You would watch Elf before sending your daughter up to bed while you and Johnny put out the gifts from Santa who your pre-teen daughter had already told you all she no longer believed in. But tradition was tradition. You would put them alongside the ones that were already under and would sit and chat with his parents for a while before heading up to bed.

Christmas morning your daughter would wake up her grandparents first, leaving Johnny feeling betrayed. They would be downstairs waiting for you once you had finally dragged Johnny out of bed.

Your daughter would start opening presents and he would slip out of the room to make a pot of coffee. He would apologize to your daughter for leaving, come back, and leave again to get the pot.

He would just bring the entire pot that he added a bit of sugar too, never any cream and he would just sit there and drink the entire pot.

Within ten minutes his eyes would be wide and he would be bursting with more energy than you think you had ever seen him have.

Your daughter would pass her gifts to you all which she was super proud of. For you she had spent the past several months making a scrapbook of all your happy memories together as a family and for Johnny she had painted him a new special mug for his coffee.

You had bought him a new super fancy coffee maker and the highest quality coffee you could fine and you swore for a moment you saw a single tear fall from his eye when he opened it. He would then make more coffee and be even more hyper.

The day would be spent with everyone just chatting, playing video games, and making Christmas treats. Some of Johnny’s friends would stop by and everyone would have drinks and play more games. They all spoiled your daughter with even more presents.

By late evening, you all would sit around the living room watching a movie and eating leftover pie and your daughter would sit making her Christmas list for the next year while you saw Johnny begin adding them to a cart online.

You would shake your head at him, but would find it adorable how he dotes on your daughter.

The night would probably end in a bit of an argument over who was going to the do the dishes before Johnny conceded and did them. 

You two would be exhausted from the day and go to bed before your daughter ready to repeat Christmas #2 with your parents the next day.

[jordoalejandro]

The Twelfth Annual List of Movies I Saw the Past Year

After I watch movies that qualify for these Movies I Saw lists, I like to jot down some notes and give each of them a letter grade. I find that system more natural than stars. It’s hard to tell the difference between a 7 out of 10, a 7.5 out of 10, and an 8 out of 10. But the difference between a B+ and B- movie? That makes sense to me.

Anyway, I was looking back at my notes for the last few lists and realized that, this year included, I’ve only given one movie an A (I don’t bother with an A+. An A is an A.) in the last three years: Spiderman: No Way Home. And, if I’m being honest, there are things in that film I definitely could’ve dinged it down to an A- for. I just had such a good time and appreciated it so much that I chose to ignore those issues. That doesn’t seem like a sound grading system but it’s really more of an art than a science.

This whole lead in is just to say: that’s weird, right? That’s like a total of 180 movies and only one got an A? (And maybe it shouldn’t have.) So is it the movies? Is it me? It’s not that I didn’t like a lot of these movies. I even liked some of them quite a bit. Maybe I’m just getting finicky in my old age. Or maybe the darkness in my soul is growing, taking over, killing off whatever remained of joy in my heart.

Or maybe it’s the movies. Yeah. It’s probably the movies.

Speaking of, here’s the list of movies I’ve seen that have come out since-ish the last Oscars (3/27/22).

61. Blonde - It's occasionally visually cool, at least. There are some neat looking shots every now and then. Other than that? This film joins Jackie and Spencer in the “various scenes from a sad famous woman’s life” genre except this one is taking it to the nth degree. It ratchets the sadness and brutality up to 11 to really drive home how terrible Marilyn Monroe’s life was, even inventing huge chunks of the story so that things can be extra sad and terrible. If, for some reason, you have interest in watching Marilyn Monroe floating through various dream states and getting tortured for almost three hours, this is your film. I don't.

60. Morbius - These Sony Spiderman villain films all have a similar issue: they can’t justify their existence. They are the remora fish to the MCU’s shark. They feel as much like a quick cash grab while you're watching them as they appear to be from the outside. Their attempts to form a connective tissue back to the MCU come across as desperate and off-putting (including and especially stuff like the mid-credit scenes in this film which are some of the most incoherent ones I’ve yet seen). The plots of the films themselves feel barely thought out. They go through the motions and then they end. There’s a lot of CGI and bad dialogue and forgettable side characters and villains along the way. At least the Venom films have Tom Hardy, whose chemistry with himself is so good you can at least enjoy that while the paper thin plot rides out the screen time. Morbius doesn’t have that. Matt Smith is having some fun but it’s not even close enough to make this something worth watching. The whole enterprise just isn’t exciting or thrilling or really any fun. It’s dull. And that’s just about the worst thing you can be as a superhero movie.

59. Bardo: False Chronicle of a Handful of Truths - There’s at least some interesting visual stuff and music going on but this is one of those movies I have a really tough time appreciating. A lot of unconnected scenes and obscured dialogue and it all means something to the filmmaker: life, death, success, art, take your pick. It’s very hard to connect to and care about. I feel like I got maybe half of it, but I won’t really understand the film until I know much more about Alejandro Iñárritu’s biography and the history of Mexico and there’s just no way in hell I’m doing homework for this. I already gave it two and a half hours of my life. That’s enough.

58. Pinocchio - I don’t have any real love for the original cartoon anyway so it’s not like this – a remake made with CGI and a handful of live action people instead of animation – didn’t already have an uphill battle with me. Even still, I went in with an open heart, allowing it to try and win me over, and I came away feeling that the whole thing seems pretty pointless. They’ve made some modern tweaks that don’t really add much. The humor is geared toward children but it’s big and broad in the way that talks down to them, like an old person trying to connect to the youth. Other than that, it seems to stick pretty close to the original cartoon's story (at least, as much as I remember the original Disney Pinocchio cartoon. It’s been a while.) The problem is, the original was made before we figured out how to write satisfying screenplays and so this remake ends up falling into the same unsatisfying plot issues. Characters pop in and out, never to be seen again. Storylines don't get wrapped up. Stuff happens to the character for a while and then it ends. People used to not care about those kinds of things because it was magical just seeing pictures that moved. These days there are a lot more options in moving pictures. Look, it might be sacrilege to say this, but you could probably show your kids this Pinocchio instead of the old one if you had to show them a Pinocchio. I’d argue there’s not a big difference because I don’t care for either. Another thing you could do, though, instead of watching a Pinocchio, is maybe just watch something better.

57. Empire of Light - The score is nice. It’s a gorgeous looking film. Roger Deakins filming lots of scenes in a grand old movie theater situated in a seaside English town? I mean, what a recipe for visual success. Unfortunately the actual plot of the film is much less interesting than its setting. It’s a fairly dull drama that doesn’t ever really feel like it gets going. Some decent acting here and there but generally pretty flat.

56. Triangle of Sadness - A black comedy satire devoid of any real humor. The jokes are all very European. Like, they’re either “this is an astute observation about the perversity of life, no?” or they’re people falling down stairs while pooping themselves (this is a mostly literal description of a huge chunk of act two). That’s basically the level of satire we’re dealing with here. It barely breaks the surface level. The whole movie is long, too. Two and a half hours, broken into three parts, the first of which (~30 minutes) seems cuttable entirely except that you need three parts to make the titular triangle. The other two segments are clanky. They never really feel like they are fully clicking. They have their moments but far from enough to cover the runtime.

55. Don’t Worry Darling - Nice music and visuals. Florence Pugh is good as she’s been in everything I’ve ever seen her in. The movie’s plot is the big problem. It spends the first 90 minutes doing quasi-interesting creepy and mysterious stuff and setting the mood and not much else, which is something you can get away with if you pay it all off with a strong finish and this film's finish is supremely weak. The twist isn’t interesting, the pacing is hurried, and the ending is abrupt. It’s extremely unsatisfying. Endings are so important in films and can make or break them and this one absolutely breaks it, making you feel like everything you watched before was just about a waste of time.

54. The Good Nurse - This is a film that feels like it worked backwards from the true story ending and didn’t have enough plot there for the first hour or so. A lot of scenes of nursing and family life. It’s pretty dull for a long while until it gets near the end, when it feels like things should finally explode with tension, and it sort of peters out. A couple of good scenes but nothing that really pops. Jessica Chastain and Eddie Redmayne are doing nice work but don’t get anything truly meaty from the script to give them that wow moment.

53. You People - It’s weirdly shot and edited like a TV show, and quality wise, that’s kind of what it feels like. Really broad characters, over-the-top situations, and dialogue that lacks all subtlety. It finds a few humorous moments but mostly it feels like watching an expensive pilot for a show that didn’t go.

52. Black Adam - It’s interesting to look at and it has a decent score. Other than that, it comes off generic and uninspired. The plot is mostly finding reasons for The Rock to smash enemies in one set piece then another. The characters are watered down versions of characters from other films and so is much of the dialogue. Nothing you’ve not seen before. Pierce Brosnan has most of the interesting character and dialogue moments in his side role. The whole thing, though better overall than Morbius, suffers from a similar problem of not really justifying its existence. It feels like it was forced into creation because The Rock wanted to be a superhero and DC figured they could sell some lunchboxes with it.

51. A Christmas Story Christmas - It certainly feels spiritually in line with the first film and if you liked the first one, I could see you getting a similar level of enjoyment out of this one. There’s at least some skill involved in not making this feel like a cheap cash grab (like I imagine A Christmas Story 2 – a direct-to-DVD sequel that came out in 2012 that I just learned of while researching this – feels like). My main problem here is that I’ve just never enjoyed the first one. I don’t have a nostalgia for that time and in fact, for reasons I can’t quite put my finger on, I find it somewhat repelling. I never found the jokes in the first one funny either, even as a kid. It always struck me as like, Dennis the Menace old comic strip type jokes that are supposed to make you scoff then shake your head while mildly chuckling. This sequel is very similar, in humor and tone. Some might like it. I don’t.

50. Amsterdam - This has all the pieces to be a fun story: interesting characters, intriguing plot idea, a great looking setting, but the movie feels wandering. Every time there’s a moment that works in comedy or plot it loses momentum almost immediately. The editing is off. Scenes linger, have very little rhythm, and create a sense of awkwardness. It feels like the material needed someone outside to take a pass at it. A rewrite by a new writer or a director with a different vision to clean things up.

49. The Bubble - Some legitimately funny bits and characters but too long and with too many stretches lacking strong laughs. Not much in terms of plot, the film is really only there to get those laughs, so it needs to bring it in the comedy sense and it doesn’t do it frequently enough.

48. RRR - I wrote my review of The Woman King (coming up shortly – that’s what they call a tease in the business) way before I watched this and inadvertently described this film in it, so let me just quickly recap (precap?) the notes from that: this is one of those foreign produced, out of control action films that clearly has some money behind it but which proves again that no matter how much money you spend, you can't buy actual quality. Big fake sets and tons of extras, extremely one-note villains, bad writing. This film is like 45 minutes of fun, inventive, supremely over the top action scenes and two hours and fifteen minutes of bad acting, clunky drama, singing, slow motion shots, piggyback rides, and friendship montages. Given what I'd heard coming in, I had hoped this was going to be an actual high quality film but if you want to get enjoyment out of it, you kind of have to watch it more like The Room (not that it’s anywhere close to that bad, but more in the sense that you have to laugh at the absurd stuff that is constantly happening). It’s kind of worth it to watch it once for the whole experience but if you can just find a Youtube compilation of highlights from the action scenes, you’ll probably have gotten enough of it.

47. Avatar: The Way of Water - Overly lonnnnnnnng. There’s maybe an hour of interesting stuff in here and two hours of James Cameron impressing himself with his world building and technology. The story is basic, the dialogue is forgettable. Filled with characters it’s hard to care about, in part because it’s hard to keep track of them – they all look the same and their accents are constantly changing – but mostly because they’re simply uninteresting. Lots of your old favorites (as much, I suppose, as characters whose names you can’t remember could be considered favorites) are back from the first film and don’t really do anything but hang out in the background while Jake’s kids take center stage and spend most of the middle of the movie doing an alien version of the film where a family moves to a new town and tries to adjust while the townies are mean to them. Then an hour and a half in, the film becomes alien Free Willy for a while, and then we get the hour long third act which is basically a repeat of the third act of the first movie but set on water. I actually hadn’t watched the first one until this year, in preparation for this sequel, and I found myself equally unimpressed by it. It's better but not particularly good. I can’t understand how three of Cameron’s most average works have taken over the highest grossing films of all time list. It’s like some kind of spell he’s placed on the world.

46. Emily the Criminal - A passable little crime… thriller? It’s not too thrilling. A crime drama mostly. There’s nothing really surprising or wholly original but it works well enough, it moves well, and then it gets out. It’s fine. Aubrey Plaza is good in it but "It's fine" is pretty much all I can muster up about this film and so that's why it's here on the list.

45. Women Talking - Women be talkin’! Miriam Toews, who wrote the novel this is based on, must have called it Women Talking in part to entrap dumb guys into making jokes, right? Pssh, if I wanted to hear women talking, I’d still be with my ex-wife! And now I got to make those jokes, but I acknowledged ahead of time they’re dumb guy jokes, so it’s fine. All of this is a great lead in for me to note that I actually didn’t care for this film. It’s more watchable than you’d expect but, ultimately, it really is just women talking. It’s not based on a play but could be converted into one with almost no changes in the script. Some pockets of good writing and acting but nothing that really elevates it beyond what its title promises and when you’re promised a film that’s only people talking, that script needs to be sharp enough to carry the entire film. It isn’t here.

44. All Quiet on the Western Front - It is what it is. It’s an objectively well-made film. Shot well, scored well, acted well. It’s just that it’s a straightforward war (or, rather, anti-war) film and… I guess I just don’t care? It doesn’t interest me to watch a two and a half hour film adaptation of an old book told without surprise or novelty. Things play out exactly as you suspect they will play out and in the end, we learn that war is bad for the people involved. Got it. Thank you. If that’s something that interests you, more power to you. It’s not something that interests me or moves me and not something I’d ever feel the need to revisit. It’s a film that will garner award talk now and then be played by substitute teachers for the next 30 years until someone remakes it again.

43. Till - Another film that’s a pretty standard fare historical drama. The story here unfolds as you’d expect, too. I will say, in fairness, with this story, it’s a little easier to forgive not experimenting with the form (versus with a hundred year old novel that’s already been adapted multiple times). If you try to get too fancy and tell these kinds of stories with a ton of flair, you risk being insensitive to the material and thus, the safest thing is to just go A>B>C. It’s fine – it tells the story cleanly and gets the point across – but it makes it into just another history class film. Danielle Deadwyler gives a good performance, asked to be either otherworldly strong or hysterically, emotionally destroyed in basically every scene in the film and she handles it well. In a way, though, it almost dehumanizes the character. Outside of a few brief moments early in the film, she gets almost no time to be anything other than a grieving mother. She comes off more as a machine built to endure rather than a person. A fault in the writing.

42. After Yang - This just feels like an A24 film. It’s almost a genre unto itself. Very artsy and contemplative and hip and indie. There's some interesting stuff here about technology and family and oh, what it means to be human! The eternal question! A beautiful score as well, which helps because with this movie, you have to enjoy the vibe more than expect, you know, actual things to happen.

41. Strange World - An inventive, interesting looking film, but a script that’s not particularly unique and not very strong in plot, dialogue, or humor. Not bad, exactly, but not good enough to really recommend.

40. Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio - It looks excellent and, like with all stop motion animation, you certainly find yourself impressed by the effort required to create these shots. Unfortunately it’s hard to get yourself up for another Pinocchio film. At the very least, it’s not a straightforward take on old material. They moved the story to Fascist Italy and gave the plot some sharpening. All appreciated, given what I’ve already complained about on this list with other films (other Pinocchio films, no less). Still, at the end of the day, this is a film about a wooden puppet boy who gets into misadventures and it just doesn’t speak to me.

39. Jerry and Marge Go Large - A sweet movie that falls apart about halfway through at the introduction of a super forced villain. You can almost feel the writer panicking about needing to add drama to keep the story moving. It’s kind of a shame because the movie isn’t exactly buzzing before that point – its jokes mostly fall flat – but it’s quaint enough to enjoy. Then it tries too hard and you start rolling your eyes. Bryan Cranston and Annette Bening have nice chemistry, though.

38. Rosaline - It’s cute and clever with the way it plays with the source text of Romeo and Juliet. These are the best parts of the film by far. The rest is sort of your standard romcom fare, which is just okay.

37. Fire Island - There are just too many stretches in the film without something strong in drama or comedy happening for me to really like it, but it isn’t bad. It’s a clever adaptation, with some good character beats and some funny bits.

36. The Whale - Undeniably strong performance from Brendan Fraser, full of vulnerability and heartbreak. Hong Chau is excellent as well in a supporting role. The movie itself is too play-like: full of melodrama and essentially a series of dialogues in a limited setting (this is, I believe, in part because it’s based on a play and in part because we’re meant to feel as trapped in the apartment as Fraser’s Charlie is, which is interesting in a psychological way but certainly not in a visual one). The film has a few excellent moments but otherwise, it has just two gears: mean or sad. It’s essentially 90 minutes of people having over-dramatic dialogues that end in either screaming or crying or both.

35. Lightyear - There’s a cool sci-fi/philosophical sequence that happens early in the film and which is revisited later that’s the high point for me. The rest of the film is a little paint-by-numbers sci-fi cartoon adventure which isn’t bad but also isn’t very inspired. It’s functional but doesn’t feel like Pixar’s best, given we’ve seen what they can do.

34. See How They Run - A fun little whodunit with a few genuine laughs. Saoirse Ronan is a highlight. It’s not as funny or sharp as Glass Onion (if we’re comparing comedic ensemble murder mysteries released this year) but it works and it’s enjoyable enough.

33. Confess, Fletch - A decent enough mystery and a decent enough comedy with some fun characters. Like a lot of films in this area of the list, it had room to be better in all areas but, well, it’s decent enough.

32. The Woman King - Okay, stick with me here because this is a weird comparison but this film feels like a better version of those wild straight-to-streaming action films (like RRR – that’s a callback!) with Steven Seagal or other similar washed up stars that are produced by, like, the Chinese government or a country with a lot of oil money or something. You get the big expensive looking sets and tons of extras in costumes but they still look really fake. Villains that are extremely one-note. Epic feeling stories that are generic at their core and aren’t written very well. But I say again, this film is like a better version of those types of films. The acting is decent. The action scenes are done well. But the whole thing still just feels… artificial? Like the sets and the costumes don’t feel lived-in. The villains are there to be evil and be defeated. The script feels like it’s going through the motions. This all sounds too negative. This film has some good stuff. It’s just in this uncanny valley between those awful Seagal films and better films that feel more authentic.

31. Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness - Some fun imaginative beats, some interesting visual bits, a good score, and decent action scenes, but a plot that doesn’t quite get there. It feels a little loose. Set ups to get from point A to B to C aren’t strong enough and it makes things feel like they’re happening just because they’re cool to see or because they need to happen to continue moving the plot along. It weakens any emotional payoffs.

30. Lou - A solid action thriller. Serviceable in the way a lot of Liam Neeson action thrillers are: not really anything special or wholly unique but it just works. You can watch it and get what you need out of it. Allison Janney makes a surprisingly decent action star.

29. The Bob’s Burgers Movie - This film deals with the same issue The Simpsons Movie did: how do you make this feel like not just a really long episode with better animation and shading? The Simpsons Movie was able to find a way to tell a story that felt sufficiently epic, while dabbling with a bit edgier humor than the show allows. The Bob’s Burgers Movie attempted both of those things but didn’t quite get there in either sense. For fans of the show, it’s enjoyable enough, with some laughs and fun musical numbers, but it felt closer to a decent long episode than a movie experience.

28. The Menu - Well scored. A good looking film. But, as always with a black comedy, I must turn to my black comedy judgment system, which breaks down the movie into two categories. Is it black? The Menu certainly is. Is it comedy? Eh… The comedy is there, at least a little bit. A few real laughs for sure, but the whole thing is more clever than actually funny. The story mostly works though the character motivations (or lack thereof) by the third act strain belief. You sort of have to chalk it up to “well, it’s a satire so of course it’s hyper-elevated.” In that sense, it’s acceptable if not particularly satisfying.

27. Senior Year - It’s an interesting premise that doesn’t quite deliver on its promise. It struggles a bit with consistency, in tone and quality of humor. But it's not bad overall. It occasionally hits in comedy and even lands the emotional bits. It could do both better but it never goes too long without something positive. It’s not something you’d say you should go out of your way for but it’s a light, enjoyable watch.

26. The Bad Guys - Well directed. A cool animation style. The story is cute, though a little reminiscent of Zootopia (I know, I know, this film is based on a series of books, the first of which came out a year before Zootopia did. Even still.) It is very much a kid’s movie, but a well made kid’s movie nonetheless.

25. The Gray Man - It’s fun, which is kind of the main thing it needs to be. The action is particularly well done and Ryan Gosling and Chris Evans are playing their roles pitch-perfect. The dialogue, plot, music, and supporting characters, while not bad, are just too generic to really make this movie rise above the crowd. All the spies do the spy talk from every spy movie ever. The plot is a double dose of two overused secret agent movie plots: a computer drive as McGuffin and the adopted daughter that must be protected. (By the way, I had the thought: I wonder if the rise in plots where the hero must protect a child – usually a daughter/daughter figure – is because male heroes in action movies used to protect grown women but that often came across as infantilizing, so to sidestep that, producers have started going right to the source and having the heroes protect literal infants.) The series has potential though, with Gosling at its center. Its issues with genericness (? genericism? the state of being generic?) can be honed.

24. Bullet Train - Another fun action movie, in a much sillier and more comedic way. Brad Pitt is charismatic as always and a cast of good side characters – highlighted by Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Brian Tyree Henry – round it out.

23. The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent - It works well enough for being such an outlandish pitch. There are a lot of ways this film could’ve gone wrong, but it’s a clever, likable, and decently funny movie. It’s just not quite funny enough to be truly great.

22. I Love My Dad - The plot of this film is about a father who catfishes his son in an effort to get closer to him and ends up becoming his internet girlfriend and then things proceed from there. The movie is as uncomfortable as you might imagine from the pitch. If you can get past that, though, it’s actually quite a nice little film, with some laughs, good emotional notes, and solid acting performances. The biggest knock against the film is that the story does feel a little contrived at times. It’s based on a real story so I don’t know how much of the film’s beats actually occurred but there are parts where you feel like, okay, this is happening because this is a movie and things need to happen to move the plot along. It’s still pretty good, even with the parts that feel moviefied.

21. White Noise - The film has a deliberately strange rhythm and sense of weirdness to it that I can see turning people off but I actually found myself really enjoying it. It’s an often funny and insightful film about fear and mortality and loss of control. It’s better in the first half and loses a little steam in the second but overall I found it quite intriguing. Really good acting from Adam Driver in the lead role.

20. Uncharted - Tom Holland is very charming and he and Mark Wahlberg have an easy chemistry. The action scenes have the right energy to them and the treasure hunting, mystery solving stuff works well, too. There are good bits of humor and fun locales. It doesn’t quite capture the magic of the games and certainly has its clichés, but the film generally does most things well, moves swiftly, and is out in under two hours. That’s a well executed film in my eyes.

19. The Sea Beast - A great looking animated film. Well directed, solid action scenes, creative world design, and it tells a nice story. Nothing for me that makes it really transcend being a very good kid's movie, but no shame in being just that.

18. Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers - Very clever, very meta with some solid laughs. There are obvious comparisons here to Who Framed Roger Rabbit? It’s been a while since I’ve seen that film but I recall it leaning more into the noir and mystery aspects while this movie is really more about the jokes and references. While it can be almost too meta at times, most of those references do work and make it a fun watch full of Easter eggs.

17. Weird: The Al Yankovic Story - Relentlessly silly. A very funny parody with solid jokes, a good flow, and some really fun cameos.

16. Black Panther: Wakanda Forever - It’s sort of wild (or perhaps not really, given it’s the same creative team) but comparing my review for the first Black Panther film with my notes for this one, I'm seeing myself hitting many of the same beats. Issues: the action scenes aren’t great – often too hard to follow and overly CGI’d. Also, a lot of the scenes are really dark, with the night scenes and underwater scenes being especially hard to see. (It’s particularly disappointing in the underwater scenes because I’d like to have had a better picture of Namor’s kingdom.) Similar pluses though, too: set design, costumes, music are all excellent. The acting is strong (Angela Bassett is getting all the raves, and she’s good, especially in her big monologue scene where she really gets to lay it all out there, but I actually think Danai Gurira delivers the best performance as the wounded general Okoye). The film is overstuffed though, which is a problem the first one didn’t have. It’s a good entry to the MCU but slightly below its predecessor.

15. Tár - Well directed, excellently written. The detail in the dialogue is so strong and the script doesn’t really bother to help you out. These characters are people at the top of their game and speak like that. It’s laudable even if it creates separation from the material. Cate Blanchett is incredible here. She fully embodies this complex genius and makes it seem effortless. The way she speaks and moves is so natural you wouldn’t question if Lydia Tár was a real person. There’s a lot going on in the film itself. Interesting topics broached. Somewhat deliberately paced for the first two acts and then kicks into another gear as everything comes towards the conclusion. It’s somewhat difficult to fully parse it. Maybe it’s just a little rushed, maybe it’s an unreliable narrator thing. I’m not sure how many concrete answers are in the film itself. I think I appreciated the first two acts much more but the whole film is a well done character piece.

14. Dinner in America - Sort of a punk rock Napoleon Dynamite. Less weird, a little more edgy, but similar small town weirdos vibes. Moves well, has some laughs, and features a couple of great performances from the two leads: Kyle Gallner and Emily Skeggs.

13. Elvis - It’s pretty good for a music biopic. The first half is edited like a montage, which I surprisingly liked. It just doesn’t stop moving, but it actually kind of works for the carnival ride vision of Elvis’ life that Baz Luhrmann is presenting. I enjoyed it better than the second half which slows down considerably. It’s too long overall but there is a lot of good stuff in it: acting, singing, music, visual style. Austin Butler is very good.

12. The Batman - Visually impressive, decently plotted though it does have some wonkiness. It is far too long, though. Part of this is that some scenes, which are mostly expository, just drag and could be edited down. Part of it is, in seeking to create a vibe, the film lingers. Lots of pieces that breathe and breathe and breathe, that don’t really advance the plot but are just to create mood. It’s successful, at least, in creating that mood: sufficiently creepy and unsettling at times, brooding and mysterious. But you still don’t ever want to be watching a superhero movie and wondering how much longer. You could cut maybe an hour from the film and you’d lose some of that but probably have a better overall product.

11. Good Luck to You, Leo Grande - A charming film. It’s almost entirely a series of dialogues in a hotel room and, despite that, it works. It’s not exactly visually interesting but it doesn’t lull because of a really strong script, which is what you need if you’re going to make a movie that’s basically set in a box. It also helps when the acting is great and the two leads here are great. Emma Thompson is fantastic and Daryl McCormack holds his own with a screen legend.

10. Hustle - Light, funny, endearing. It’s a little simplistic and paint-by-numbers-y, but it moves well and hits all the right notes along the way. It has authenticity, which is rare in a sports movie, and you can feel it and it makes it work better. Decent enough acting and writing. A good watch.

9. Bros - A really sharply written, well done romcom. It does a good job of toeing the line between acknowledging that what it’s doing is different while still being generally a fairly conventional romcom and hitting all those right genre notes.

8. Top Gun: Maverick - It probably got caught up in too much hype but it is a really well executed summer blockbuster. It knows what it is and it just nails it. Fantastic action scenes and just enough quality in character and dialogue to make it a thrilling and fun film that never drags.

7. Living - Looks great, sounds good. This is one of those films that just surprises you. It seems a little dull from the outside (and it’s certainly no Top Gun inside) but it really is a beautiful, delightful film. Very understated. A simple story told well. Some tremendous acting from Bill Nighy but the whole cast does a good job and several people have standout moments.

6. Thor: Love and Thunder - It’s not quite up to the level of Ragnarok (it’s missing a certain epicness that makes it feel truly impactful like that film was) but it’s very funny and surprisingly emotional. Great action and music, often perfectly intertwined. Christian Bale does an excellent job with the villain role: terrifying and tragic (but maybe too good a job – you almost want to tell him to chill and have some more fun). I love that Taika Waititi has carved out his own little unique and weird corner of the MCU.

5. Glass Onion - It does some things better than the first. The characters are amped up, for one, which I think works better for what the series is. Plus, it’s funnier. I did feel like the central mystery was worse, though. It’s intriguing as you watch it but when all is said and done, not as satisfying a conclusion. Overall, though, really well done. And, perhaps more importantly, it's just fun. It's fun to be in the middle of a mystery with all these actors playing big characters and the great score playing and the jokes flying. It's another good entry in what's shaping up to be a really enjoyable film series.

4. The Banshees of Inisherin - Wikipedia lists it as a “black tragicomedy” which is so specific and yet apt. Very funny at times. Very tragic at times. Strong writing, touching on subjects all the way from the difficulties of feeling trapped to the madness of civil war. Subtle and layered. Excellent acting all around, too. Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson, Barry Keoghan, and Kerry Condon are all doing plus work here.

3. Babylon - This film does a few things that generally rub me the wrong way with films. It’s long. It’s overindulgent. But you know what? I kind of loved it. Despite its three hour runtime, it doesn’t really drag until near the very end. It has a rhythm to it and a beat. It speeds up then slows down, speeds up, slows down, but it never really stops. It’s kind of exhausting and honestly impressive. Great visuals, great music. Excellent acting performances from Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie, Diego Calva, and Jean Smart. Poignant, funny, and really good at capturing chaos.

2. Everything Everywhere All at Once - I really wanted to love this one just a little more. To get it to that A grade. I’ve flipped it with the film that’s at number one on the list a few times but I’m settling with it here because I just… I wish someone could’ve talked the writer/director team, the Daniels, out of their basest instincts. This is a truly brilliant film about finding meaning in life versus giving into nihilism and it’s also about pee pee and poo poo. It’s an absolutely beautiful film about family, marriage, immigrants and also it’s about how butt plugs are funny! They go into the butt! That’s where the poo poo is! Look, I love stupid humor when it’s applied right, but so much of it here comes across as lol so random jokes. And it sucks because this film absolutely doesn’t need it. The film is already a dramedy. It already has some funny stuff in it. Enough funny stuff to count as a part-comedy, at least, and fulfill the comedy quotient of the dramedy equation. The juvenile stuff adds no real laughs to the film and pulls me right out of it. It adds a barrier to the emotional stakes because it raises my cynical walls. All of this is overly negative. 95% of the film really, really works. (I’m aware that a 95% is an A, not an A-. Art, not science.) The directing, editing, most of the writing. All great. Absolutely superb acting performances from Michelle Yeoh, Stephanie Hsu, Ke Huy Quan, and Jamie Lee Curtis. It’s just that cringe-inducing last 5% of the film. I think if someone took a pass at the screenplay and removed all the bits that a 13 year old boy would’ve put in, this film would be an all-timer for me. As is, it’s one of my favorites of the year but that’s probably it.

1. The Fabelmans - Touching, sad, uplifting, and funny as well. The stuff about movies and art is really wonderful. If there’s any knock, it’s that the family stuff, while mostly well done, comes off a bit too melodramatic or cheesy at times. (This is the 5% of the film that doesn’t work for me here, but it’s something I’m more neutral about versus something that’s actively repelling me.) Altogether a great film, though. Visually, musically. Excellent acting performances from Michelle Williams, Paul Dano, Gabriel LaBelle, and Judd Hirsch in a slightly larger than a cameo role. Plus, one of the best endings to a film this year. Without spoiling too much, there’s a great scene with another cameo right near the end that’s so good and which leads to a final shot that’s so simple but says so much. It’s the perfect bow on a terrific package.

Okay, time for some individual awards.

Best Actor

5. Austin Butler, Elvis 4. Adam Driver, White Noise 3. Brendan Fraser, The Whale 2. Bill Nighy, Living 1. Colin Farrell, The Banshees of Inisherin

Best Actress

5. Margot Robbie, Babylon 4. Michelle Williams, The Fabelmans 3. Emma Thompson, Good Luck to You, Leo Grande 2. Michelle Yeoh, Everything Everywhere All at Once 1. Cate Blanchett, Tár

Best Supporting Actor

5. Brad Pitt, Babylon 4. Brendan Gleeson, The Banshees of Inisherin 3. Paul Dano, The Fabelmans 2. Barry Keoghan, The Banshees of Inisherin 1. Ke Huy Quan, Everything Everywhere All at Once

Best Supporting Actress

5. Jean Smart, Babylon 4. Hong Chau, The Whale 3. Jamie Lee Curtis, Everything Everywhere All at Once 2. Kerry Condon, The Banshees of Inisherin 1. Stephanie Hsu, Everything Everywhere All at Once

Best Directing

5. Joseph Kosinski, Top Gun: Maverick 4. Martin McDonagh, The Banshees of Inisherin 3. Steven Spielberg, The Fabelmans 2. Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert, Everything Everywhere All at Once 1. Damien Chazelle, Babylon

Best Screenplay

5. Kazuo Ishiguro, Living 4. Damien Chazelle, Babylon 3. Steven Spielberg and Tony Kushner, The Fabelmans 2. Todd Field, Tár 1. Martin McDonagh, The Banshees of Inisherin

And now to look at this year’s version of this monstrosity a.k.a. the web of actors who I’ve seen in multiple projects this year:

I need to come up with new ways to say things are good. I try to write like I speak so then when I start describing stuff as superb and terrific because I get self-conscious about seeing “good” in review after review, I feel uncomfortable because I don’t use those words in real life. And then I open up the thesaurus and take a peek at alternatives and they are even worse. You’re not going to catch me describing something as “cracking”. No sir.

Might try working “fabulous” into my everyday vocabulary more so I feel more free to use it on next year’s list.

Anyway, enjoy the Oscars.

- - - - -

Read More:

Annual Lists of Movies I Saw the Past Year

[sheerfreesia007]

Finding Love In Legacy Oaks pt. 11

Title: Finding Love In Legacy Oaks pt. 11

Fandom: Kingsman

Pairing: Agent Whiskey x OFC

Author: @sheerfreesia007​

Words: 7,484

Warnings: Mention of injury

Permanent Tag List: @paintballkid711, @fioccodineveautunnale, @phoenixhalliwell, @linkpk88, @weirdowithnobeardo

Author Notes: So Bunny’s life isn’t all rainbow and sunshine, I’m just trying to write relatable things into this story and loved the idea of this happening to Bunny. There’s a method to madness for putting Bunny through a little bit of pain. Jack opens up a little bit about his family finally! We get a bit of family history from both Bunny and Jack. I can’t wait to show you how I draw these two idiots closer together! Hope you enjoy!

Gif Credit: Google

Blinking her eyes rapidly Bunny sighed softly and rubbed at them feeling how strained and tired they were. Quickly saving her work on her laptop she closes down the web design program and powers down her laptop closing the lid. She turns in her desk chair and spots Butter sleeping in the plush dog bed that she keeps in her office, his tongue as always hanging out of his mouth as he lays on his back with his feet in the air. She chuckled softly, shaking her head as she heard him snore loudly from his comfortable spot. Just then her cellphone began ringing and she saw that Jack was calling her. Furrowing her eyebrows she answered the call and pressed the phone to her ear.

“Hey Jack, everything alright?” she greeted him and heard his soft warm chuckle on the other side of the phone.

“Hey Bunny, everything’s good. Just got a few moments to kill, you got time to just chat?” he asks warmly and Bunny can feel a warmth start to develop in her chest at the idea that he just wanted to call her to talk. Brining one foot up to rest on the desk chair she leans back and gets comfortable in the chair.

“Of course, you’ve got impeccable timing Jack.” Bunny replied with a soft chuckle.

“Work dragging you down?” he asked curiously and Bunny could hear shifting in the background on his end of the call, he was probably getting comfortable himself.

“Not dragging me down, but I’ve been staring at my laptop screen for the last few hours and it’s starting to do a number on my eyes. Thankfully I was able to get a good chunk of this project planned and mapped out.” She explained easily as she snuggled further into her desk feeling the cushions sink and surround her.

“Does that normally take a long time to get done?” Jack asks and Bunny is was pleasantly surprised at his questions, normally people didn’t really care to learn about the process of designing a website.

“Depending on what the client actually wants it could take a few hours to code the links and pages to open the right way. But normally it takes about half a day to plan and map out the website.” Bunny explained in layman terms so that she wouldn’t confuse him.

“And what’s the next step after that?” Jack asked curiously. Bunny smiled as she thought about the next part of the project that she would have to work on, it was her favorite part.

“Designing the face of the website. See the planning and mapping of the website is the background work, it’s how the website is coded to work. If you click on a link and it brings you to another page that’s the mapping part of it. The design is how it looks to the client. I can make it look a certain way based on what the client has requested.” Bunny explained passionately as she started getting even more comfortable in the conversation about her work.

“What was the most outlandish website you’ve been asked to design?” Jack asks with a soft chuckle and Bunny sits for a minute to think.

“I had a client come to me and request a website be made for his young daughter. Apparently she wanted a place to be able to post all about her latest obsessions. But there was no rhyme or reason to the website, random music played on different pages and the mouse would be different shapes for different pages. And it would randomly have sparkles falling like snow on the pages. Think of that Myspace era and dial it up to thousand percent. That project gave me so many headaches I think I invested in the aspirin companies.” Bunny explained with a groan and Jack laughed loudly on the other end of the phone call.

“Oh goodness, I remember those fads. They were horrible now that we’re well past them. I’m lucky that Es wasn’t old enough for that back then otherwise I’d be tortured by all of that. What was your favorite website design?” he said as he still chuckled.

“Oh yeah she’d have loved all of that stuff. What with her love of sparkle I’m surprised she hasn’t gotten you just let her glitter her whole room.” Bunny laughed happily and Jack scoffed softly.

“Don’t you dare give her that idea! She’s already tried to convince me to let her get more sparkly items for her room. I think my eyes are constantly blinded whenever I have to walk into or even past it. Bunny, too much sparkle.” Jack bemoaned to her and Bunny burst into laughter.

“Alright, alright I won’t mention glitter to her.” Bunny conceded as she laughed delightedly. She grinned as a lull in the conversation happened naturally and they both calmed a little.

“So favorite project?” Jack asked again. And Bunny grinned as she remembered her favorite project that she worked on.

“I have an annual client who comes to me to design her family reunion website. Nice elderly lady with a very large family, I’m talking like the last reunion two years ago had I think twenty grandkids. She normally contacts me in the beginning of spring to start designing the website so that it’s ready for early summer and their reunion is towards the end of the summer. It’s a week-long event for them where they go to the family lake cabin and just spend the week doing boating activities, there’s competitions between each branch of the family and there’s nightly outdoor movies and bonfires. It’s a lovely affair and all their pictures are so funny to see when she sends them to me to place on the website. It’s my favorite project because she’s such a sweet woman and I love listening to all her stories she tells me.” Bunny said warmly as she leaned further into her desk fondly remembering all the conversations she’s had with the woman.

“Have you ever met her in person?” Jack asks curiously and Bunny’s smile falters a little bit. “I only ask because you sound like she’s gotten close to you after being a client for a while.”

“Yes, I’ve worked with her for about five years now and have met with her in person every year while working with her on the websites. We usually go out to a long lunch and just spend the day talking about life and how we’ve been and also about the project. She’s truly a wonderful woman and she’s become kind of like a surrogate mom to me since mine lives so far away. But her family reunions are always fun to hear about and all the crazy adventures they get into.” Bunny says wistfully.

“You like the outdoors Bunny?” Jack asked warmly and Bunny grins widely at the question.

“I do, my family was always big on camping when I was growing up and while I don’t get to go as much now I still love to go camping and hiking. Butter and I have done a few mountain hiking trails together.” Bunny said fondly as she remembers her adventures with Butter.

“No way! Butter can hike? I’m surprised that little sausage roll can make it up your steps every day.” Jack teases and Bunny laughs into the phone.

“It’s all fur, don't let that fiend fool you.” Bunny said in a quiet confession and Jack laughed happily.

“Do you like outdoor activities?” Bunny asked curiously and Jack’s laughter faded in her ear.

“I do but it’s a little different than your idea of outdoors. My family back in Kentucky owns a large farm and I grew up there. Worked on the farm until I went to college and whenever I had a break I would come back home and help out when I could. Unfortunately when I started my career in security I wasn’t able to come home as often and help out. But the family still has the farm and it’s prospering so they’re all doing well for themselves.” Jack explained easily and Bunny nodded her head loving that he was actually sharing some information about himself with her. “We used to go out into the pasture a lot during the summers and sleep under the stars with a small campfire. It’s one of my favorite memories about the farm and my siblings.” Jack confessed warmly and Bunny felt that warmth that had started to grow in her chest began to spread and consume her body as she listened to Jack talk about his family’s farm.

“Do you have a lot of siblings?” Bunny asked, wanting to keep the conversation going and gather as much information about Jack as she was able to. He was still a mystery to her and while she knew he was a good man and cared greatly for his daughter she still didn’t know much about him. She wanted to begin a friendship that could hopefully turn into something so much more. And while they had begun flirting and teasing each other Bunny was ready to wait to see how this relationship blossomed. After the hell that she had been put through by her ex-husband Bunny was more than happy to wait and see how a relationship now panned out.

“I’ve got two sisters, one older that’s Rebecca or Becca. She's I think a year or two older than me. Then there’s Amelia, she’s the younger one, she’s five years younger. And finally there’s the baby of the family Will, he’s the youngest but don’t tell him that sometimes he acts like the oldest out of the four of us.” Jack replied easily and Bunny could hear the affection full in his tone over the phone. She could easily tell that he loved and cared deeply for his siblings. She smiled softly as she nodded her head. “What about you? Is it just you and your sister?” Jack asked.

“Actually I’ve got three siblings. There’s Sasha that you know about, she was adopted when I was eight and she’s two years younger than me, she’s the only one of us who’s got kids. Then there’s Jake, he was adopted when I was eleven he’s three years younger. And Freddie is five years younger than me and he was adopted when I was sixteen.” Bunny said smiling as she thought back to when her siblings were adopted and the parties that were thrown.

“So you’ve been through the adoption process?” Jack asks curiously and Bunny has to stomp down the urge and desire to be Esme’s mom that she had the other night at the sleepover.

“Yeah it was a bit hectic as a kid because my parents fostered a lot of kids while growing up and it was both good and bad. The kids that we were fostering, some had some serious mental health issues, like Sasha she has horrendous panic attacks and anxiety attacks all throughout her foster life with us. She still gets it sometimes but they’re not as severe she’s told me. And Freddie has bipolar disorder that he’s managing with a team of doctors, he’s got his good days and then he’s got some really bad days. I check up on him a couple times a month just to see how he’s doing and if he needs anything.” Bunny explained feeling a dull achy pain in her chest as she talked about her siblings’ mental issues. She hated seeing them troubled and if she could take away their pain she would in a heartbeat, Sasha and Freddie were the best type of people and the fact that they had to deal with these issues pained Bunny. She knew they were dealt a hard life but she hoped that by joining her family they had found some sort of peace, and while they had told her this before she hoped it was true.

“Wow, I didn’t realize that the foster kids your parents helped were dealing with those types of issues.” Jack said solemnly.

“Yeah there were others who needed more help than my parents could offer or give and those were the ones that were either placed with another foster family or the state government eventually took custody of them. They became a ward of the state.” Bunny explained softly.

“Well I’m hoping they got the necessary care they needed wherever they ended up.” Jack said in a calm, easing voice.

“I do too.” Bunny replied easily before her mind turned back to Esme once more and the sleepover fiasco was in the forefront of her brain again. “Hey while we’re talking about this stuff. I-uh wanted to let you know that Es had a run in with Cynthia and it wasn’t pretty.” Bunny began to explain. She took a breath in and heard absolute silence on the other end of the call and for a moment she thought the call had dropped. She began to move the phone away from her ear to check when she heard Jack’s deadly calm voice speak up.

“What did Cynthia do to Esme?” he asked in such a harsh cold tone that Bunny physically shivered in her seat.

“Es got caught up in all the excitement with the other girls at the sleepover and called me Mom in front of everyone. Cynthia heard and was a bit of a nasty witch to her and to be honest I can’t remember the exact words because I only saw red and ripped her a new one for her shit talking, but anyway she said something about needing to talk to you about her hanging out with me too much that she was thinking I was her mom.” Bunny explained in a rush as she felt the white hot blind rage she felt after Cynthia snapped at Esme.

“Easy Bunny, easy.” Jack said softly and Bunny took in a deep breath before letting it out slowly. “Es called you mom?” Jack asked quietly and Bunny felt her heart clench suddenly at his question.

“She did. And Jack I don’t mind one bit. She just got caught up in the chaotic energy the girls were causing and it was just a slip of the tongue. Honest.” Bunny said quickly to try and ease him if he was having second thoughts of her being around Esme so much. “And I talked to Es about it. Told her it’s no big deal and that I’d be lucky to have her as a kid. But I told her what Cynthia said was uncalled for and that she didn’t have to listen to her since she was mean to Es.”

Bunny felt uneasy as if she was rambling as she tried to explain to Jack what had happened the other night and as the silence fell over the phone conversation she felt her anxiety skyrocket inside her. She tried to wait patiently for Jack to say something but when he didn’t say anything after a while she sighed softly, figuring that he’d want to put a stop to them spending so much time together.

“I understand if you don’t want me watching her anymore or taking her to yoga.” Bunny said softly and dejectedly.

“Now hang on.” Jack said suddenly and confidently. “That’s not at all what I want.” Bunny heard his firm words and she felt hope unfurl in her chest making her breath catch silently. “You have been the best thing that has happened to both Esme and myself. You’ve helped me out so much with watching her for me. And Esme has had a rough time making friends in her new neighborhood and school but you’ve done wonders for her confidence that she now has a few friends. Bunny you not being in our lives is the last thing I would want.” Jack stated vehemently and Bunny felt tears prick at her eyes. “I’m more upset that Cynthia had the nerve to say something to Es about calling you mom. I can’t believe that woman.” He said honestly and Bunny sighed softly as she nodded her head.

“Yeah Cynthia I think has it in her head that the two of you are becoming a hot item.” Bunny said thoughtfully and Jack scoffed over the phone.

“She’s married Bunny.” Jack lamented softly to her and Bunny nodded her head at his words.

“I know that, but I don’t think she cares. Ever since I’ve met her she’s always been looking for the next best thing for herself.” Bunny said truthfully.

“She’s always been like this? It’s not just because of me?” Jack asked seriously and Bunny smirked softly, seeing an opportunity for her.

“You’re handsome Jack but you’re no Mark Strong.” Bunny teased him as she grinned widely.

“Oh ho! So you dig the older men huh Bunny?” Jack teased right back and Bunny blushed deeply.

“What can I say, he's dreamy.” Bunny said dismissively and Jack laughed softly.

“Well now I know who my competition is then.” Jack said sultrily and Bunny felt desire jolt down her spine making her gasp softly.

“C-competition?” she stuttered out softly before she heard muffled talking in the background on Jack’s end of the phone call. She could hear Jack responding to whoever was with him distantly as her mind began to race with the thought that Jack was competing for her affection.

“Hey listen Bunny I’ve got to get goin’. Thanks for taking my call and chattin’ with me. Tell Es I’ll give her a call at dinner time alright?” Jack said and Bunny let out her breath slowly through her nose.

“Yeah of course. I’ll let her know. I’ve gotta start getting ready to go get her from the bus stop anyway. We’ll talk to you then.” Bunny began to quickly ramble and she cringed softly as she heard his soft chuckle.

“And yes competition. Can’t let a Brit git one over the good ol’ American boy. Talk to you later Bunny.” Jack said in a low gravelly tone that made Bunny suddenly tense with arousal as she heard his tone and words. And then the line was hung up.

Huffing softly she slouched in her chair and pulled the phone from her ear slowly. Setting it down on the desk gently she turned and saw Butter was still passed out in his bed. Running a hand through her hair Bunny sighed softly.

“That man’s got a seductive tongue.” She said softly to the quiet office and Butter huffed in his sleep making her chuckle softly. “You said it Butter.”

*-*-*-*

As soon as Esme walked down the bus steps Bunny could tell that she was feeling down. Tilting her head to the side she watched as Esme walked down the sidewalk towards. The two older girls from the last bullying instance were walking behind her giggling and whispering to each other and Bunny felt rage rush her body with red hot anger. The girls looked up from Esme’s back and both instantly stopped talking as they spotted Bunny glaring at them.

“Girls.” Bunny said stiffly as Esme came to a stop next to her and the girls both gulped silently before one hesitantly let out a smile before the two made a dash for their houses. Bunny sighed softly and looked down at Esme who was dejectedly scuffing her sneakers on the sidewalk. “Bad day at school?” Bunny asked softly.

Esme shrugged her shoulders and continued to scuff her sneakers on the sidewalk. Butter looked up at Esme curiously before head-butting her calf with his head. Esme moved a little bit before stepping to the side to avoid Butter doing that again.

“Yep, bad day at school. Why don’t we go for a walk and if you wanna talk I’m all ears. If not, it's no big deal.” Bunny said softly as she looked down at Esme. Esme shrugged her shoulders once more and Bunny nodded her head before gently holding out her hand for Esme. The little girl took a hold of it after a moment's pause and Bunny began leading her and Butter towards the main park area of the community.

The three of them walked in silence and Bunny kept her head held high not wanting to constantly look down at Esme. She was worried it’d upset the little girl more if she constantly tried to check in with her. As the three of them finish crossing the street to the park area Esme starts to slowly perk up.

“Hey Bunny?” she asks suddenly and Bunny hides her smile as much as she possibly can and looks down at the little girl at her side.

“What’s up Es?” Bunny answers in a question and Esme smiles softly at her.

“Have you ever called someone Mom who wasn’t your mom?” Esme asks softly and Bunny nods her head adamantly.

“Oh yeah! So many women.” Bunny said with wide eyes and Esme giggled softly. “I’ve called a bunch of my teachers in school Mom. Let’s see who else, oh! I called Molly’s mom that once and she wouldn’t let me live it down. Wouldn’t stop insisting she was my mom now. And then there was that time that I accidentally called Mr. Quinten dad and it was a whole big thing with him.” Bunny confessed as she sighed and rolled her eyes. Esme giggled brightly as she walked next to Bunny as she began to skip alongside her. “Look Es, there’s nothing wrong with calling someone Mom. It happens all the time.” Bunny stressed earnestly as she stopped walking and bent down to Esme’s level.

“Really?” asked the little girl as she looked at Bunny with a lost expression on her face.

“Yep. Sometimes we just forget where we are and the name just comes out. Other times we see the person we called Mom as a mother figure. It just means that you see that person as someone who you can trust and go to for anything. And I’ll let you in on a secret, come here.” Bunny said surreptitiously as she gestured Esme closer to her. “It means so much to me that you could think of me like that. And I will do my best to be there for you no matter what, understand? You’re stuck with me kiddo.” She said fondly as she nudged Esme under her chin making her giggle. Just then Esme launched herself against Bunny and Bunny caught her easily in her arms holding her close to her.

“Thanks Bunny.” Esme whispered softly.

“Any time kiddo. Any time.” Bunny said softly into the little girl’s hair. “Now what do you say to go for a walk and just hang out before we crack down on homework and then dinner?” Bunny asked hopefully that the little girl was feeling a little bit better.

“Yeah! Oh can we roll down that hill over there?” Esme asked, suddenly excited as she pointed to the medium sized hill that obscured the soccer field from view. Bunny shrugged her shoulders before grinning at Esme and taking off with Butter running besides her.

“Beat you to the top!” Bunny called and Esme shrieked with indignation as she began running as quickly as her little legs could carry her after Bunny.

“You cheated!” Esme cried as she began chasing after Bunny.

“Only if I win!” Bunny called over her shoulder laughing heartily before she began huffing dramatically as Esme caught up to her. Esme giggled as Butter barked chaotically at Bunny’s side as if he was trying to get her to pick up her pace. Once Bunny saw Esme pass her she began to overtly huff and puff as she chased the little girl up the hill.

“I win!” called Esme and began to dance in celebration as she reached the top before Bunny. Bunny made a show of bending over and gasping for breath which made Esme laugh harder. Butter hopped around Bunny barking at her and Bunny laughed softly at the dog as he did his best impression of an angry coach. “Ok, ok. Let’s do this!” cried Esme happily as she threw her back pack to the ground and began to lower herself down to the ground at the top of the hill.

“Alright you go first and then when you come up I’ll go.” Bunny instructed and Esme looked up at her gleefully. “What? You thought I wouldn’t roll down a hill? I’ll have you know I’m an expert roller.” Bunny said self-importantly and Esme burst into happy laughter before she shook her head.

“Bunny!” The little girl drew out the name in an exasperated tone and Bunny laughed softly before gesturing for Esme to go. Butter began to bark excitedly and was jumping around Bunny’s legs as Esme prepped herself to roll down the hill.

“Alright I’m gonna time ya. On your mark!” Bunny called happily and Butter began to jump more furiously around her. “Get set!” was the next call out and Esme prepared to begin rolling as Butter began barking like crazy. “Go!” called Bunny and instantly realized her mistake as Esme began rolling down the hill at a moderate speed.

Suddenly Bunny’s legs were knocked out from underneath herself as Butter took off down the hill dragging Bunny along after him. Shrieking in surprise Bunny heard a distinct crack and felt the back of her head bounce on the ground when she met the ground. Groaning in pain she raised her hand to her head before feeling her arm being jerked after Butter as he dashed down the hill after Esme. Bunny felt every hit with the ground as Butter dragged her down the hill and she moaned softly as he finally came to a stop at the base of the hill.

“Bunny!” cried Esme worriedly and Bunny peeked one eye open to stare over at the little girl as she got up and rushed over to her. Bunny could feel the aches in her body from when she had collided with the ground. Gritting her teeth and hissing softly as she shifted on the ground trying to sit up.

“I’m okay Es. Butter just got a little too excited.” Bunny began to reassure Esme as she saw the little girl’s face filled with worry and concern. Bunny set her hand down on the ground and moved to sit up on the grass. Hissing in pain Bunny quickly pulled her wrist up to her chest and clutched it there for a moment feeling the sharp pain coursing through her wrist. She laid there for a moment with her eyes shut clutching her aching wrist to her chest trying to breathe through the pain.

“Bunny?” Esme asked softly and Bunny opened her eyes to see Esme now kneeling next to her body as Butter crawled along the ground towards the two of them.

“I should be okay just banged up.” Bunny reassured her and sat up completely still keeping her wrist close to her body to limit the chance of irritating it further. Shifting on the ground to get into a better sitting position she felt a sharp twinge coming from her right ankle. Moaning softly her right hand fell to her ankle to try and steady it as pain jolted quickly up her leg making her muscles seize. “Nope, nope. Not okay. Let me just see if I can stand up for a second. Hey Es, can you come hold Butter’s leash for me?”

Es stood quickly from her kneeling spot and gently unwound Butter’s leash that was wrapped around Bunny’s left wrist and arm. She led Butter a step or two away from Bunny as she stood there watching silently with worried eyes.

Bunny rolled onto her knees and gritted her teeth as she felt the pain in her ankle begin to throb. Slowly blowing out a breath through her mouth Bunny used her left leg to push up from the ground. Taking in a few quick breaths Bunny stood on her left leg and tentatively placed her right foot down flush with the ground. Placing a little more weight on it she felt it suddenly give out and she collapsed to the ground on her knees groaning in pain at the impact.

“Definitely not okay.” she said softly and felt tears prick her eyes as the pain consumed her suddenly. Quickly blinking the tears away she looked over and saw Esme shifting on her feet with watery eyes. “Hey it’s okay. We just need to go to the hospital. I'm pretty sure I broke my ankle.”

“Oh Bunny!” Esme cried softly and Bunny shook her head as she settled back onto the ground.

“Es do you see my phone anywhere? I need to call an ambulance, I can’t stand on my right leg.” Bunny said as she began patting down her pockets not feeling her phone. Esme looked around the ground in the area that they had landed before darting over to the side where the phone laid in the grass. Bunny grimaced as she shifted on the ground and grunted softly in pain as her ankle was jostled before turning to see Esme already holding her phone to her ear. Bunny watched in surprise as Esme effortlessly called 911 for her.

“Hi, I need an ambulance to Legacy Oaks community. My babysitter fell down a hill and she can’t stand on her right leg and her left hand hurts.” Esme explained easily and Bunny tilted her head slightly at how calm Esme was as she talked to the 911 operator. “Yes she’s breathing and sitting up. We are at the main field area by the soccer field. Closest intersection is Main Street and West Legacy Boulevard. Ok hold on.” Esme relayed easily before moving closer to Bunny and holding out her phone to her. “They want to ask you some medical questions.” Esme said hurriedly as she came to Bunny’s side and handed over her phone.

“Hello?” Bunny asked, still in shock at Esme’s behavior as she watched the little girl take a seat next to her and began to coo at Butter.

“Yes ma’am, we have an ambulance on their way to you and I just need to ask a few more questions.” Said the operator and Bunny nodded her head slightly.

“Of course.” She replied as her eyes stayed glued to Esme who was sitting there rubbing Butter’s back letting her fingers drag through his fur.

“So it’s your right ankle that is injured?” asked the operator and Bunny could hear keyboard keys clacking in the background and other voices relaying information about other calls.

“I can’t put any pressure on my right ankle, my leg gives out when I try to. And my left wrist is throbbing with pain whenever I move it.” Bunny relayed to the operator and heard the clicking of the keyboard as she talked.

“Ok, I’ve already let the ambulance crew know and they are on their way. Is there any special directions for them on how to find you?” asked the operator.

“No, we’re the only ones here in the main park area. They’ll be able to see us.” Bunny said and watched as Esme looked over at her silently.

“Ok, if anything changes, call us back but the ambulance should be there shortly.” Said the operator and Bunny thanked him before hanging up the phone.

“I have to call Jeremy and see if he could come grab Butter before the ambulance gets here. Are you okay?” Bunny explained as she looked down to her cracked phone screen and pulled up Jeremy’s contact info with a little difficulty before she looked up at Esme. Placing the phone at her ear she watched Esme look at her with slightly teary eyes and a worried face.

“Hey Bun-Bun!” cheered Jeremy happily as he answered the phone after two rings.

“Hey Jer, I have to go to the hospital. I’m okay but I think I broke or sprained my ankle and wrist really badly. Es and I are at the main park with Butter, would you be able to come get Butter before the ambulance gets here?” she quickly relayed to him hoping he’d be able to help her out.

“Of course, I’m just getting ready for work so I can swing by now and grab him. No problem. Are you sure you’re okay? Is Esme okay?” he responded easily before asking about the well-being of her and Esme.

“We’re okay, I think just a little shaken up is all.” Bunny said softly as she watched Esme sniffle softly and swipe her hand under her nose.

“Okay, I’m on my way. I'll be there in two minutes.” Jeremy said quickly and Bunny said goodbye before hanging up the phone.

“Are you okay sweetheart?” Bunny asked softly as she focused fully on Esme. The little girl looked at her with such saddened eyes that Bunny felt such a severe urge to pull her close and reassure her, but when her body shifted to move closer to Esme she gritted her teeth as pain shot up her leg and arm. “C’mere.” She cooed softly to Esme and the little girl moved closer to her side and pressed gently into it resting her head on Bunny’s right shoulder. “I promise I’m okay. Just probably broken bones. No big deal, okay?” she reassured the little girl as she gently wrapped her right arm low around Esme’s lower back.

“It’s my fault.” Esme said sorrowfully in a low tone and Bunny immediately shook her head at the girl’s words.

“No it’s not sweetheart. Accidents happen and it’s more my fault.” Bunny said easily as she kept shaking her head. Esme turned to look up at her confused. “I said ready, set, go and Butter knows those are play words. So I should have known better. It’s not your fault Es. Don’t think that it is because that’s the farthest from the truth.” Bunny said adamantly as she watched Esme closely.

“But if I didn’t want to roll down the hill then this wouldn’t have happened.” Esme said softly in such a heartbroken tone that Bunny felt her heart clench in response.

“Uh if you recall I also wanted to roll down the hill missy.” Bunny teased softly and Esme scoffed softly as her shoulders slumped forward. “Hey, I’m serious. It’s not your fault that I got hurt. It was just something that happened, it’s really no one’s fault.”

“But Bunny!” Esme cried indignantly as she tried to convince Bunny once more that it was her fault.

“Look, you couldn’t have predicted that this would have happened. And it’s not like you wanted me to get hurt when we decided to roll down the hill, right? And you didn’t push me. So it is not your fault. Accidents happen, we just have to deal with them and move on. Okay?” Bunny said firmly as she stared down at Esme. “Trust me I’m not mad or upset. My bones will heal and maybe if it’s broken I’ll get a cool cast and you can draw and sign it for me.”

“But-“ Esme began again and Bunny quickly shook her head as interrupted the little girl.

“Nope. No buts. It’s no one’s fault. I won’t hear anything else about it.” Bunny insisted as she shook her head at the little girl.

“Fine, but I still feel bad.” Esme huffed out softly and Bunny smiled warmly at her.

“You can feel bad for me all you want. It’ll help me lay it on thick to Jeremy and your Dad to help me out if it’s broken.” Bunny said, nodding her head eagerly and Esme giggled softly.

“I can help you too.” Esme said cheerily and Bunny nodded exaggeratedly making Esme giggle again.

“Uh duh. You’re definitely gonna be my number one helper.” Bunny said fondly and Esme nodded her head confidently as she watched Bunny determinedly. “Oh reminds me I should call your Dad and let him know what’s going on.” She said absentmindedly when suddenly Jeremy’s bright yellow jeep pulled up to the curb and Butter started barking excitedly as he recognized the car.

Bunny sat next to Esme as the two of them watched as Jeremy hopped out of the jeep in his security guard uniform and rushed over to them. He had a concerned expression on his face as he walked over to them and his eyes were darting first around Esme and then landed on Bunny.

“Are you okay?” he asked worriedly and Bunny nodded her head as she gritted her teeth when her wrist protested with her shifting movement on the ground.

“Yeah, just banged up. Took a tumble down the hill that’s all.” Bunny said as Jeremy came to a stop standing in front of her splayed legs. He looked down at her with a soft fond look in his eyes after he heard her explanation.

“You’re always getting up to something aren’t you?” he teased softly and Bunny stuck her tongue out at him making Esme giggle softly.

“First time it’s because I wanted to roll down a hill.” Bunny retorted and Jeremy scoffed softly.

“First time for everything trouble maker.” He quipped back and Bunny laughed as she shook her head at him.

“Whatever man.” She bemoaned to him as she shifted again on the ground and gritted her teeth as pain coursed through her again.

“So what hurts and how can I help?” he asked kindly and Bunny smiled in thanks to him.

“My right ankle and leg are in a lot of pain whenever I move it and I can’t put pressure on it. And my left wrist is in a lot of pain too. Not sure but I might have a concussion too, banged my head a few times on the ground as I came down.” Bunny relayed to him and Jeremy whistled low, Bunny nodded her head in response to his whistle and gritted her teeth as a dull ache began to form in her brain.

“Man you know how to fall hard when you do huh?” Jeremy asked teasingly and Bunny chuckled at him.

“What can I say? Gotta do it right the first time right?” she asked and Jeremy shook his head at her. Just as Jeremy was moving closer to her and Esme they all spotted the ambulance driving down the street. Jeremy turned and waved them down as Bunny shifted again and felt Esme lean slightly closer to her. “I’m okay. It’s gonna be okay, I promise.” Bunny reassured her softly as the paramedics parked the ambulance and hopped out.

“Hey guys, she’s over here.” Jeremy said easily as he directed the paramedics to Bunny.

“Are you her husband?” asked the male paramedic as he looked from Jeremy over to Bunny and Bunny grinned as she fluttered her eyelashes at Jeremy who laughed at Bunny’s antics.

“No, just my best friend.” Jeremy said fondly as he walked over with the paramedic.

“So what happened miss?” asked the younger female paramedic who was now kneeling down at Bunny’s other side with the medical bag set on the ground next to her. Bunny watched as she looked across Bunny to Esme and smiled softly at her. “Don’t worry honey, we're going to take good care of your babysitter.”

“Got knocked down the hill by my overly excited dog.” Bunny said as she gestured with her chin to Butter who was now rolling in the grass on his back trying to get the paramedics’ attention. Both paramedics laughed at Butter and Jeremy just shook his head as Esme giggled softly. “Banged my head a couple of times on the ground, did something to my left wrist, it's throbbing in pain, and my right ankle is in a lot of pain too. Can’t put any weight on the right leg either, tried to stand up and my leg gave out.” She explained as they all looked at her and Esme who was still cuddled into her side.

“Ok, well I suggest we take you to the hospital to get your wrist and ankle checked out to see if you just sprained them or broke them. Also if you choose to let us take you we’ll check for concussion in the ambulance. We can’t force you but that’s what I suggest.” Said the female and male nodded as he stood next to Jeremy.

“Yeah, let's go to the hospital.” Bunny said, nodding her head.

“Okay, Chase, can you grab the stretcher while I start her paperwork?” the female asked as picked up her metal clipboard and began filling out the paperwork with Bunny right there. “Do you want us to take her in the ambulance as well or will your friend be taking her?” the woman asked as she nodded her head at Esme. Bunny felt Esme’s hands come up to clutch at her bicep and she leaned closer to her silently.

“She’s gonna go with me if that’s alright with you guys.” She replied and felt Esme relax against her a little bit. The woman nodded her head and winked at Esme who smiled softly and relaxed further against Bunny.

“No problem with us.” She answered with a smile and finished filling out the paperwork. Bunny’s eyes darted over to Jeremy who was walking with Chase as he wheeled the stretcher over towards them. Once it was lowered to the ground Bunny looked over at Jeremy for some help which he gladly stepped over.

“I’m gonna just lift her up onto the stretcher. It’ll be easier.” Jeremy explained as he squatted down next to Bunny and Esme. “Hey Es, do me a favor and just hold onto Butter for me while I put Bunny on the stretcher okay. Once I’m done and they load her up in the ambulance you’ll be able to get in with her.” Jeremy said softly and kindly to the little girl who was still pressed up against Bunny’s side. Bunny could see the worry flash across Esme’s face and Bunny nodded her head at her.

“Don’t worry, I won’t let them leave without you. You’re coming with me.” Bunny reassured her and Esme looked up at her with concern. “Here take my phone that way you know for sure you’re coming with me since we still gotta call your Dad and let him know what’s up.” Bunny said as she handed over her phone to Esme who quickly took it and Butter’s leash leading him a few steps away from the stretcher.

“Alright c’mon lady let’s get you up on that stretcher.” Jeremy said as he slid his arms underneath Bunny’s knees and behind her back before standing up with her cradled in his arms. Bunny gritted her teeth lightly when her ankle fell with gravity as Jeremy lifted her. “I got you sorry.” Jeremy apologized and Bunny shook her head at him.

“No worries, it's okay.” Bunny said softly as he set her down on the stretcher and Chase lifted it up gently.

“Hey call me if you guys need anything and when you get done with everything and I’ll come pick you two up. That way you won’t have to worry about anything okay?” Jeremy said as Chase began to wheel you towards the ambulance.

“Okay. You sure? I’m sure I could call a taxi or something.” Bunny said as they all began walking towards the ambulance behind her.

“Yeah, call me and I’ll come pick you up. You’re already gonna have a lot going on so just call me.” Jeremy insisted and Bunny nodded her head as she watched him turn to Esme and held his hand out for the leash. “C’mon sweetheart let’s let them get her loaded up and then I’ll help you up there.”

“Thanks Jeremy.” Esme said softly as she hung back with Jeremy as the paramedics loaded Bunny into the back of the ambulance. Once they were done Bunny looked out at Esme and gestured her up once the female paramedic got situated in the back with her.

“Alright honey you’re gonna come sit on the bench over here okay?” she said as pointed to the bench seat next to Bunny’s stretcher on her left side. Bunny watched quietly as Esme climbed into the back with Jeremy’s help and came to sit down on the bench. When she was finally settled in her seat she gripped onto the stretcher railing and watched anxiously as the woman began to get a blood pressure cuff secured on Bunny.

“Alright we’re good to go. We’ll be heading to Three Sisters’ Hospital.” Chase said easily to everyone as he began to close the back of the ambulance. Bunny smiled at Jeremy as he nodded at her and then turned to Esme trying to ease her as they began their trek to the hospital.

[morgwensolsticefest]

Morgwen Solstice Winter 2020 Masterpost

Thank you everyone for a lovely fest and for participating in the first Morgwen Solstice fest! Authors have been revealed and the full list of fics can be found below or in the Ao3 Collection! :)

Title: every word I say is kindling by lordvoldemortsnipple​

Recipient:  Sable_Nakahara (@sable-nakahara)

Rating: G | Warnings: No archive warnings apply | Medium: Fanart

Summary:

A knight, a princess, and a sword laid to rest.

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28718958

⚔️

Title: all of my truths by greenforsnow

Recipient: Trojie ( @trojieface)

Rating: T | Warnings: No archive warnings apply | Word Count: 4,227

Summary:

Morgana and Gwen encounter the unicorn from The Labyrinth of Gedref

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30006903

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Title: Happiness Is a Butterfly by SlantedKnitting

Recipient: Polomonkey ( @thepolomonkey)

Rating: Explicit | Warnings: none | Word Count: 17,245

Summary:

It’s time for Camelot’s hottest nightclub to host its annual couples contest. This year, Morgana and Gwen are competing, and Morgana is determined to win—and beat last year’s champions—at any cost.

Notes: Thank you to Polomonkey for the incredible prompt, and thanks to the mods for running this fest!

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29997894

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Title: when the hairpins start to drop by Trojie

Recipient: Morgwen Solstice Community

Rating: M | Warnings: None | Word Count: 1,729

Summary:

There are the unwritten rules of society, and then there are the things Morgana does. Gwen tries her best to skirt the edges of the inherent problem, but her mistress is never one to let things just be.

Notes: title from Lorde's 'White Teeth Teens'. Beta-read by the incomparable kickflaw.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29907441

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Title: my hardest goodbye by TheDragon

Recipient: Morgwen Solstice Community

Rating: E | Warnings: n/a | Word Count: 3,127

Summary:

"Morgana?" Gwen asks, bringing one hand to her mouth, eyes wide with shock. She's even more beautiful now than she was when they were both back at school. "H—how…?" "Gwen," Morgana replies, struggling to keep her voice steady. The feelings she'd tried so hard to rid herself of all those years ago rise to the fore, refusing to be held back any longer. "I can't believe my eyes," Gwen breathes.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30068049

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Title: With Eyes Wide Open (A Tragedy in Three Acts) by queerofthedagger

Recipient: Atlanta_Black ( @atlantablack)

Rating: Mature | Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings | Word Count: 18,200

Summary:

Everyone has a breaking point, and Morgana has always known all too well how to find each and every one of Gwen's. The enchantment Morgana tries to weave in the dark tower does not work as intended, not entirely. It's in the aftermath, though, that Gwen has to make a row of hard choices; where she has to decide for herself what she wants and what she needs. It's not easy, and they might not end up being the right decisions, but for once they are all hers and maybe that's all that matters. A story of grief, rage, (the absence of) forgiveness, and loving someone who is still alive but does not exist anymore. Of maybe taking a wrong turn that leads to the right destination.

Notes: Please mind the tags!

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30100563/chapters/74138448

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Title: You Cheer Me Up by Sable_Nakahara

Recipient: TheDragon ( @lair-of-the-dragon)

Rating: Not Rated | Warnings: no archive warnings apply | Word Count: 1,896

Summary:

Gwen’s been enamored with Morgana for about as long as she can remember. Today, she’s decided, is the day she will tell her. But will she have the nerve? And how do you court a royal lady anyhow? Or in other words: Gwen brings Morgana flowers and feelings are revealed.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30033372

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Title: Let My Hope Grow Cold by elissastillstands

Recipient: queerofthedagger ( @queerofthedagger)

Rating: G | Warnings: N/A | Medium: Art

Summary:

Come, my dear, and be a part of my home / Missing stitch and flowers on a headstone. Gwen and Morgana, the past they shared, and the present they chose. Lyrics from "October" by The Crane Wives.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29768025

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Title: this graveyard of forgotten love by Atlanta_Black

Recipient: elissastillstands ( @elissastillstands)

Rating: Mature | Warnings: Creator Chose to Not Use Archive Warnings | Word Count: 10,840

Summary:

"Gently, she leads you out into the darkness / and makes you drink rain." -Patricia Smith, from "Prologue --And Then She Owns You,"

☀︎

Gwen has never fully managed to shake her love for the lady who had once sworn to keep her safe. Now locked in a tower by that same lady, she must face a truth she's long kept buried (even from herself).

An exploration of grief, anger, and the inability to let go of someone you once loved (even when you should).

Notes: This is for the lovely elissastillstands and I dearly hope you enjoy it! I hope I crafted a Gwen that's similar to the way you envision her!

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30107856

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Title: Flirting With Disaster by Polomonkey

Recipient: TheLastLonelyWriter ( @thelastlonelywriter)

Rating: Teen | Warnings: None | Word Count: 2,055

Summary:

No matter what anyone said, Gwen was not a gay disaster. A movie night at Morgana's might prove her wrong.

Notes: TheLastLonelyWriter, thank you so much for your lovely prompts, I really hope you like it <3 Somehow Morgana ended up very eccentric in this, I hope that's okay!

Impossibly huge thanks to the mods for their patience while I was being a disaster all of my own, and thank you so much for running this wonderful fest!

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30193737

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Title: Letting Go (I Want You Closer) by queerofthedagger

Recipient: @lordvoldemortsnipple

Rating: Teen and Up | Warnings: None | Word Count: 2,400

Summary:

Morgana swallows. Tells herself that the sudden shortness of air is nothing but the exertion after a long winter and tries to find the right words. Tries to find the sentences to relieve Gwen of her worry without interfering, without letting her own damned feelings get in the way of Gwen’s happiness. 

 “Morgana,” Gwen says, soft and pleading, even as her blow is strong enough to reverberate up Morgana’s arm. 

--- 

Gwen has been spending more time with Arthur, and it's fine. Really, it is. Morgana stays silent, and gives Gwen space, and tells herself that seeing Gwen happy is more than enough. Gwen's not ready to let her go so easily though, and a sparring match might bring more than one secret to light.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30228252#main

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Title: Did My Heart Love Till Now? (I Never Saw True Beauty Till This Night) by TheLastLonelyWriter 

Recipient: SlantedKnitting

Rating: General Audiences | Warnings: None Apply | Word Count: 22,622

Summary:

Gwen thought maybe the best day of her life was finding out that she had gotten the job working for the Camelot Ballet. Or maybe when she found out that Morgana Pendragon-De Bois was dancing there. As it turned out, the best day of Gwen's life would be the day that Morgana finally kissed her.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30030675/chapters/73946865

⚔️

Title: a cage of their own making by Atlanta_Black

Recipient: greenforsnow

Rating: Gen | Warnings: no archive warnings apply | Word Count: 1,519

Summary:

Gwen supposes, in retrospect, she should have guessed that Morgana also remembered (remembered it all, the castles, the betrayals, the beginning, the end, everything in between).

But she had not and now they're here, Morgana once again turning her back on her Gwen.

☀︎

Gwen won't give her up as easily this time.

Notes: This is for the lovely greenforsnow <3 This is my first time writing a modern setting or reincarnation setting for this fandom, but I really did enjoy writing this! I hope you enjoy it <3

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30245478

⚔️

Title: Giants of Albion by lordvoldemortsnipple 

Recipient: Trojie ( @trojieface)

Rating: G | Warnings: None | Medium: Fanart

Summary:

Giant of Albion's third album 'Avalon on the Horizon' was a hit, and the band prepares for another show.

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28797210

[writtenwhalien]

Requested drabble

“Hiii🌷 i adore your writing, so i was very happy when i saw you were doing these!! Can i have a fluffy smut with 14 & 37, please🥺🥺💗“

Okay so I accidentally deleted the post, thinking your ask would re enter my inbox... IT DIDN’T - i thought it might not which is why i had your ask copied so I could paste :)

But I went with Jimin since I had the idea and ended up writing it... oops.

Genre: fluff, smut - idol!jimin 

“Can I kiss you?” and “Can I have this dance?”

“Omg y/n you look so good!!!” Hera gasps when you step out of your house to get into the company car that has come to pick you up for the event. 

“Really?” You twirl for your friend to take a better look at your outfit for the night. 

It was the annual ball that Big Hit were holding and although you’d only been working for them for half a year, you were still on the guest list, and it’s safe to say you were freaking out.

 For one reason in particular. 

Park Jimin.

When you first joined Big Hit, you met all of the Bangtan boys, and they were so friendly it shocked you considering how famous they are, but it was clear they took time to get to know their staff. But Jimin seemed to take a liking to you, always popping up out of nowhere, coming up with random excuses to talk to you and god did he flirt. 

You assumed it was just him being Park Jimin, but then Hera, who’s been working for Big Hit for three years, told you he doesn’t usually behave this clingy with staff. And as time went on it was pretty obvious you had both developed a crush on each other, sometimes even the boys would tease you both, resulting in you both getting shy and cute about it. 

Although you knew he liked you, you didn’t want to be the first one to make a bold move - he had his whole life in the spotlight, and any wrong move could be detrimental to him - so you waited for him to do something, anything...

...and much to your surprise and happiness, he did. 

He caught you in the elevator the day the ball was announced, and asked you to be his date for the night. It was the sweetest thing you witnessed, as he went all shy and couldn’t stop blushing, albeit you were definitely just as flustered. 

He couldn’t pick you up since the boys had filming to do before the ball but he promised to find you as soon as he got to the venue which was kept a secret from the public to avoid any unwanted attention and press. 

You feel super excited and nervous at the same time, and you let Hera ramble about the past events on the journey there. 

It had taken you a good three hours to get ready and after Jimin had asked you, you wanted to make sure everything would be perfect. 

You picked a stunning black satin dress that flatters your figure greatly, paired with sparkly silver heels and minimal jewellery. Thankfully working for Big Hit meant you could afford items on the pricier side and you certainly felt like you looked expensive. You style your hair into a half up half down style and after spraying your favourite perfume all over, you were ready to go. 

You pull up to the venue, and you’re taken aback by the grand building that stands before you. The location was pretty remote to keep away from the paparazzi, but it only meant there was more space for the beautiful grounds of the old building to be surrounded by flowers and small trees. You spot two large fountains adjacent to each other in the grounds, with floor lights illuminating the gardens. 

Hera pulls on your hand, walking you into the lobby, and you can’t help but let out a little gasp - it feels like you’re walking into a 50s hollywood movie. There’s a huge chandelier hanging in the middle and a wide staircase leading to a lower ball room. The area is already crowded with so many people, a mix of idols, producers, choreographers, finance managers - Big Hit didn’t leave anyone out. 

You feel grateful Jimin isn’t here yet for your irrational fear of possibly tripping down the stairs in front of him picks at your mind. 

You greet some of your co-workers and seniors, making your way down to the grand ballroom where a waiter hands you a drink. 

You thank him and take it, feeling like you need some liquid courage for the night. 

You see many people socialising, enjoying canapés or dancing in the centre of the room, with a live band playing on a small stage adjacent to the staircase. 

You chat away for the next half hour with Hera, mingling with some of your other friends and meeting some new people. 

While you’re in the middle of a conversation with Hera’s old mentor, the floor suddenly breaks out into a small applause and you turn to see the one and only BTS strutting down the stairs, making their entrance. 

Your eyes immediately wander to Jimin, and you can’t help eyeing him up like candy. 

He’s wearing an all black suit, his silver hair slicked back, and you can peek his undercut from the side. You watch whilst he greets everybody politely, bowing and shaking hands with everyone who approaches him. 

But you also notice how his eyes regularly scan the floor, and then he finds what he's looking for... you. 

He’s mid-listening to someone in conversation but he can’t help the small smile that creeps on his face once he sees you, and you blush, quickly averting your gaze. 

“Oh my god, he’s coming,” Hera whispers excitedly to you. 

“Oh gosh” You feel your heart beat faster in your chest. “Don’t leave me please, I'm so nervous.”

Hera laughs, “you don’t usually seem nervous around him,” she teases. 

You’re about to reply back with something witty but you feel a tap on your shoulder. Hera grins at you while promptly turning on her heel to excuse herself from you.

Turning around with bated breath, you’re met with an ethereal looking Park Jimin. 

“Hey,” he’s smiling at you shyly. 

“Hi,” you reply, unable to stop a grin from forming on your face. 

“You look absolutely stunning y/n,” he breathes out, his eyes trail up and down your figure, his gaze lingering on your lips for just a second. 

“Thank you,” you flip your hair over your shoulder jokingly, eyeing him up. “You don’t clean up so bad either Park.” 

Jimin laughs, taking a step closer to you. He dips his face down to look at you, seriously this time, and your breath hitches a little but thankfully the sound of applause for the band finishing their medley drowns out your little gasp. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t bring you here,” he says apologetically, raising his voice a little so you can hear him over the clapping. 

“No don’t be silly, I completely get it. I’m just glad I get to be here with you now,” you smile at him warmly. 

You see him sigh in relief, grateful for your understanding. 

“Well, um, can I have this dance?” He asks almost nervously, putting his hand out for you. 

“Yes you can,” you reply, placing your hand in his, and for a second Jimin looks down at your joined hands, and his face gets noticeably excited. 

“Come on,” Jimin beams at you, walking you towards the crowd in the center of the room, and you gape at him as he smiles at everyone who looks at you both, as though he’s proud to have you beside him. 

When he stops walking, he turns to you straight away, pulling you into him gently, placing his other hand on your waist. Your free hand naturally snakes up to his shoulder, and you look up at him as he starts swaying fluidly to the music. Butterflies swarm in your belly from how close you are to him - his warm breath fanning your face and you can smell his heavenly cologne.

-

The evening passes quickly, too quickly, and you can’t help but feel a little upset for not being able to spend more time with Jimin. Sure you’d still spent the whole evening with him and sometimes the boys, laughing away at everything, losing yourself in conversation and you had some flirty moments, but you’d hoped you would’ve been able to open up to Jimin about how you feel today, and he would’ve done the same but now as you sit in the car with him, as he escorts you home, you feel like the moment has passed.

The car pulls up outside your house, and Jimin quickly jumps out first, holding the door open for you. You step out, shivering a little at the breeze and he takes your hand in his, wordlessly walking you up the pathway leading to your porch. 

“So...” you turn around once you step onto the porch. Feeling disheartened, you look towards the ground. “Thanks for taking me home,” you say quietly, “I had a great night.”

“Y/n,” Jimin murmurs. His low voice stirs something inside you and you look towards him. He’s gazing at you intently, but his lips form a gentle smile. 

He takes a hold of your other hand, and steps up onto the porch in front of you. 

Your mind starts to go hazy as he leans closer, his eyes searching your face, before stopping on your lips. 

“Can I kiss you?” he breathes out, breaking away from your lips to lock eyes with you.

You smile at how sweet he is, asking for your permission... as if you would say no.

Instead of answering, you close the distance between you both, pressing your lips into his. His hands instinctively wrap around your waist, as he moves his lips fluidly against yours. You feel like you ascend to the skies as you feel his plump lips against your own, they’re so pillowy and sweet, just like cotton candy.  

But before you can go any further, he pulls away, cupping your cheek in his hand.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” he admits, smiling at you, and before you have time to say anything back his eyes land on your lips again, and he gives in to his desire, kissing you harder this time.

You respond to his touch instantly and you find yourselves gripping at each other longingly, and when Jimin nips at your lower lip, you can’t help but let out a little moan. 

He moves back, lips parted and eyes full of lust, which coaxes you to say the following words.

“Do you want to come inside?” 

“Are you sure?” He looks at you lovingly. “We’ll move at your pace y/n, don’t worry about me.”

You hold his face in your hands, “I’ve also wanted this for a long time Jimin,” you say reassuringly. “I’m sure.”

You peck at his lips, moving back to look at him and he smiles at you.

“Okay, let me just tell the driver he can go.”

He jogs off to the car, and you pull your key out from your purse, unlocking the front door.

You wait for him to return, and he follows you into your house. You’re both feeling a little shy but nevertheless, still comfortable in each other's presence. 

You end up giving him a little tour of your house, unintentionally finishing in your bedroom, where he starts teasing you for the little teddy bear you keep on your bed. 

“You’re so cute y/n,” he laughs. 

You pout at him and he moves towards you, sliding his hands around your waist, holding you close to him. 

“You’re mean,” you mumble, pretending to be upset.

He holds your chin and makes you look at him.

“Well then let me make it up to you?” he questions, raising his eyebrow a little.

“Hmmm, that depends how.”

“Let me show you,” he murmurs, dipping his head into your neck, and kissing you gently. 

You whine as the sensation of his warm tongue licking at you, your breathy moans spurring him on.

“I take it you like that,” he whispers close to your ear. 

You pull his head back and lock lips with him immediately. He swipes at your lips with his tongue, and you part them, allowing him entry and he revels in how you taste. 

He shrugs his jacket off his shoulders, and your fingers find the buttons to his shirt, wasting no time on ripping it off him as you both grow needier. 

As soon as it’s off you start sucking at his neck while he groans under your touch, your hands roaming all around his firm torso, and you love how he sounds. 

Without warning, Jimin spins you around and gently places kisses on your shoulder, his fingers deftly undoing the lace strings at the back of your dress, and within seconds, he’s slipping the straps off of you, the dress falling onto the floor.

He takes in the sight of your body, and subconsciously licks at his lips, pushing you back gently on your bed. You grab his head and bring him in for a heated kiss, feeling his hard bulge press into your wet, needy core and you undo his belt buckle, dragging his pants down, and he moves back to pull them off, along with his boxers, and you bite your lip when his hard member slaps up against his chocolate abs. 

He smirks when he crawls back up, hovering over you, and gently strokes your cheek. 

“Shall I keep going baby?” he asks.

“Mhm,” you hum in response, kissing his hand. 

He watches your face as he slowly enters you, slowing down when you gasp at the feeling of him filling you up completely. 

“God you feel amazing around me,” he moans, moving slowly out of you again.

You clench around him, and within seconds he’s picked up the pace, thrusting into you, and you cherish the moment, caressing every inch of skin you can, as your pleasure increases. 

Jimin finds your lips, swallowing your moans, and nipping at your lip as his own orgasm builds up. He slips a hand down between your bodies, and rubs at your clit, thrusting into you a little harder as he gets more desperate.

“Fuck Jimin that feels so good,” you whine, wrapping your legs around him as you feel yourself get closer to the edge. 

“I want you to come with me baby” he says, his voice is low and husky, and within seconds, you’re coming all over his cock, and your continuous clenching has Jimin releasing himself inside you, burying his face in your neck as he moans your name in pleasure. 

Breathing hard, he slows his thrusts down, and you feel his member softening inside you as you both come down from your highs.

“You’re amazing,” he coos, rolling onto his side, and kissing your temple softly.

You reach for some tissues from your drawer, and gently wipe yourself quickly, before cleaning him off, kissing his lips to distract him from the sensitivity he feels.

You throw the tissues towards the bin, and you and Jimin break into a fit of giggles when you miss.

“Come ‘ere” he mumbles, pulling on on your arm for you to cosy up next to him.

His fingers trace the curves of your skin, and you look up at him.

“I really like you Jimin,” you say quietly, shifting up to place a kiss on his cheek.

He smiles at you warmly, tightening his hold on you.

“I really like you too y/n,” he says, his voice clear and firm, and he kisses your forehead. You feel yourself blushing at the gesture.

“Will you be my girlfriend?” The smile on his face warms your heart and you feel euphoric, here in his arms, being looked upon so lovingly by the sweet man who’s stolen your heart.

“Yes, a million times yes.”

[yesthatssadirichardslove]

Spielberg wins big as Golden Globes make comeback

LOS ANGELES

Steven Spielberg claimed top honors including best drama at the Golden Globes on Tuesday for his deeply personal film "The Fabelmans," as Hollywood's A-list stars flocked to the first major awards show of the year despite a series of scandals swirling around its organizers.

The other top film award, best comedy or musical, went to "The Banshees of Inisherin" -- a tragicomedy about a shattered friendship on a remote Irish island that ended the night with the most movie prizes.

Spielberg, who also took home the award for best director, thanked his family including his late mother, who he said would be "up there kvelling about this right now."

"The Fabelmans" covers the troubled marriage of Spielberg's parents, anti-Semitic bullying, and the director's early efforts making zero-budget movies with his teenage friends.

"Everybody sees me as a success story, and everybody sees all of us the way they perceive us based on how they get the information," said the 76-year-old filmmaker. "But nobody really knows who we are until we're courageous enough to tell everyone who we are."

Spielberg said films like "E.T." and "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" had used elements from his real life, but he had "never had the courage to hit this story head on" until now.

Despite faring poorly at the box office, the film saw off last year's two biggest commercial hits -- James Cameron's sci-fi film "Avatar: The Way of Water," and "Top Gun: Maverick" -- to win the night's final prize.

"Inisherin" also earned a win for Colin Farrell for best comedy actor, boosting his Oscar hopes, and for writer-director Martin McDonagh for best screenplay.

The Globes, which kick off the annual film prize-giving season, have not had their usual glitz for the past two years, due to the pandemic and revelations about their organizers' lack of diversity and allegations of ethical lapses.

In particular, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, which organizes the awards, was criticized for not having a single Black member, although it has recently expanded its ranks.

All eyes were on which A-listers would show up Tuesday, as NBC -- which scrapped its broadcast of the show last year -- brought back the 80th Golden Globe Awards on a one-off basis.

As it turned out, many heavy hitters were in attendance, including Spielberg, Rihanna and Brad Pitt.

Austin Butler, stepping into Elvis Presley's blue suede shoes for rock-and-roll biopic "Elvis," won best actor in a drama.

"You were an icon and a rebel and I love you so much," said Butler to the legendary singer, in an emotional speech in which he also praised Presley's family for their support.

Eddie Murphy accepted a career achievement award at the Beverly Hills gala, while Angela Bassett won best supporting actress for Marvel blockbuster "Black Panther: Wakanda Forever."

But Cate Blanchett, who won best drama actress for "Tar," in which she plays a ruthless conductor navigating the cutthroat world of classical music, did not attend the gala.

Other prominent winners who didn't show included Kevin Costner ("Yellowstone"), Zendaya ("Euphoria") and Amanda Seyfried ("The Dropout").

Michelle Yeoh won best comedy actress for the surreal "Everything Everywhere All At Once."

Her co-star in the multiverse-hopping sci-fi film, Ke Huy Quan -- who shot to fame as a child star in "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" almost four decades ago -- won best supporting actor.

Action-packed Indian blockbuster "RRR," which has become a huge word-of-mouth hit in Hollywood, added momentum to its awards season campaign by winning best song.

"Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio" won best animated feature, while "Argentina, 1985" won best non-English language film.

On the television side, "Game of Thrones" prequel "House of the Dragon" won best drama, and "Abbott Elementary" claimed best comedy series.

Success at the Globes is often seen as a potential bellwether for films hoping to win Oscars, which take place this year on March 12.

Academy voters will begin casting ballots for Oscar nominations on Thursday, just days after the Globes gala.

But recent controversies have muddied the waters.

Host Jerrod Carmichael, who struck a daring and edgy tone throughout the night, kicked the gala off with a monologue poking fun at the HFPA.

"I'll tell you why I'm here. I'm here because I'm Black," said Carmichael.

Most of the Globes' usual swanky after-parties -- where winners parade their trophies, and losers drown their sorrows with free champagne -- did not take place this year.

Nominee Brendan Fraser and Tom Cruise, the star and producer of "Top Gun: Maverick," notably did not attend.

But despite the controversy surrounding the Globes, "Avatar" director Cameron told AFP he "didn't really think about it that much."

"Obviously I did my research about what they had gone through, and I made sure that they had been responsive to the protests and complaints and all that, which I believe they have been," he said. "I think we should celebrate the fact that an organization does such radical changes."

#yesthatssadirichardslove

[letterboxd]

Heart Beat.

Minari’s film composer Emile Mosseri (also responsible for the Kajillionaire and The Last Black Man in San Francisco scores) tells Ella Kemp about his A24 favorites, Nicholas Britell’s friendship and the boldest Paul McCartney needle drop in movie history.

What do you think a broken heart sounds like? How about a warm, beating one? It’s something that Emile Mosseri has been thinking about for a while now. The past two years have seen him complete a hat-trick of beguiling, transporting scores for Plan B movies: Joe Talbot and Jimmie Fails’ The Last Black Man in San Francisco, Miranda July’s Kajillionaire and now, the film voted the best of 2020 by our community, Lee Isaac Chung’s Minari.

What binds these scores together is a delicacy that knows when to break free and turn into something altogether spectacular. But on Minari in particular, Mosseri is in full bloom, working for the first time in a way he’d always dreamed about. While The Last Black Man in San Francisco saw him compose to a loose edit, and on Kajillionaire he worked to a locked cut, Chung gave him the freedom to write music directly to Minari’s script. “It was a dream to work this way on Minari,” Mosseri says. “It was so beautifully written and so visceral.”

‘Minari’ composer Emile Mosseri.

Minari is an intimate portrait of a Korean family making their way in rural America, and the composer was interested in “trying to figure out musically how you can feel connected to your deepest childhood memories”. These memories belong, in the film, to David—a tiny king played by eight-year-old Alan Kim—as he comes to terms with his new life on a small farm in Arkansas, as his family strives for their own version of the American Dream.

The Yi family is made up of David and his sister Anne (Noel Kate Cho), their parents Monica (Han Ye-ri) and Jacob (Steven Yeun) and their grandmother, Soon-ja (Youn Yuh-jung). It’s a personal story for Chung, one that Mosseri felt honored to be a part of. “It’s a very intimate story with these five characters, which takes place mostly in this small mobile home—but emotionally, it’s very epic.”

There was something about Chung that had caught Mosseri’s attention early on. “I had met him at the LA premiere of Last Black Man,” Mosseri says, “and I sent him the Kajillionaire score.” Mosseri was already familiar with the filmmaker’s work: “His first film, Munyurangabo, is incredible.” He calls Chung “very open, but also sly” in terms of hitting the right notes and “gently steering the ship”. The partnership between composer and director was about working on “a more emotional level,” Mosseri says. “There was never any talk about what we wanted stylistically.”

The ‘Minari’ ensemble cast.

The result is a film graced with music at once lush and raw, grandiose and vulnerable. Mosseri is keenly aware of these nuances, and always made sure to walk the tonal tightrope in the writing process. “There aren’t sad cues and hopeful cues,” he explains. “Every cue has both feelings. Each musical moment dips in and out of the hopefulness and joy of a family, and then the pain and frustration and dissonance that they hold.”

The way Mosseri’s music swells and flows often feels intangible, magical, even—which comes more from knowing what to avoid, rather than acting with too much forced intention. On his first film, Mosseri brought brass and strings to the streets of San Francisco, and with Miranda July, he worked old Hollywood glamor into the concrete blocks of Los Angeles. Here, we twirl through the tall grass as gentle acoustic guitars and elegant string sections sigh and sway, while the Yi family work through their growing pains.

“We didn’t want to hear Korean music when you see Korean characters, and we didn’t want twangy music when you see an American farm,” Mosseri explains. “We wanted to come at it from the side somehow, in some way that’s unexpected.” ‘Rain’, his collaboration with Minari star Han Ye-ri, which features on the official soundtrack, encapsulates this juxtaposition. It’s an epic lullaby of sorts; Han sings in Korean to a gentle guitar; a pleasing swell of synths climbs alongside her voice. The effect on the listener is as if liquid love is trickling from every vein. “I wanted this score to feel like it had a warm, beating heart.”

Two of your three feature films to date have been released by A24, and so we must ask: what are your favorite A24 film scores? Emile Mosseri: Three come to mind. First of all, Anna Meredith’s score for Eighth Grade. It’s so adventurous and unexpected and fresh and just brilliant. It’s so pure and out-there. It also does this impossible thing of being hip and exciting and deep, but also hilarious. The pool-party scene fucking kills me.

Then there’s Under the Skin by Mica Levi. I remember seeing that at the Nighthawk theater in Brooklyn and feeling like it was the best score I’d heard in as long as I could remember.

And then of course, Moonlight. That film got under my skin in a way I didn’t see coming. I saw it by myself in a theater, after hearing all the hype for months and months. When a movie has that much hype you can get a bit cynical and it can distract you, so I went in a bit guarded, but I left the film destroyed. For weeks and weeks it resonated with me in a way that was so profound, and a large part of that is due to Nick [Britell]’s music. And the film is just perfection.

Scarlett Johansson in ‘Under the Skin’ (2013), scored by Mica Levi.

You’ve been described as Nicholas Britell’s protégé more than once… It’s funny, I think that came from me being a fan of his and saying nice things about his music. I met him at Sundance two years ago when Last Black Man was premiering. I went with my wife and my brother and I was so excited, I’d been waiting for this moment for so long. We walked in and Nick and Barry [Jenkins] were walking in behind [us]. And there was also Boots Riley, Kamasi Washington… all these people I looked up to. I hadn’t considered that I would see this film in the room with them, and it was the first time I was hearing the final mix and just agonizing.

Nick was incredibly generous and said great things about the score and was super encouraging, and he became a friend and mentor. But I’ve never studied with him or worked with him. Although, if you’re a fan of somebody’s work, you’re a student of any of these composers that you admire. Anything you watch and listen to, you absorb.

What was the first film that made you want to be a composer? It was Edward Scissorhands. Danny Elfman’s score was the first one that made me realize that this was a job. I’m always attracted to big, romantic melodies, and over-the-top sweeping stuff—but done tastefully. In that score, he sets the high-water mark for me. It’s so unapologetically romantic.

And then there are other obvious ones like The Godfather. It’s maybe a dorky choice because it’s the most famous movie ever, but it really is the best. And that got me into Nino Rota, and from there I found [Federico] Fellini and all these movies through Nino, the composer. And then I got really into the score for La Dolce Vita and more movies that he’d written for, which are so beautiful.

The ‘Edward Scissorhands’ (1990) score was an early inspiration for Mosseri.

Which films, new to you, blew you away in 2020? Take Shelter by Jeff Nichols blew me away. It unfolded in a way that was intoxicating and really exciting, and it just really stuck with me.

What’s been your favorite needle drop on screen this year? Aside from Devonté Hynes’ score being stunning, there’s an amazing piece of music placed in an episode of Luca Guadagnino’s We Are Who We Are. They use a Paul McCartney song called ‘Let Em In’, and they dropped it in this incredibly tasteful but unexpected way, in a really dark, emotionally loaded scene. It worked in such a beautiful and graceful way. It’s because it’s the most cheery McCartney, it’s full-blown upbeat and poppy McCartney. And this is the darkest-of-the-dark human pain, and it lands in this way that is such a bold choice, such a powerful move.

What should people listen to after watching Minari? One record I’ve been listening to a lot recently is Jeff Tweedy’s Love is the King. It could be a good companion to Minari. I’m a huge fan of his and it’s a gorgeous record. It’s very stripped-down and emotionally raw, and it’s both hopeful and heartbreaking.

Which filmmakers would you love to work with next? I’m always afraid to answer this question because there are so many filmmakers I admire. There are filmmakers I grew up with loving their films—working with Miranda was that for me. Spike Jonze or Yorgos Lanthimos are directors in her world that I also love and would love to work with. But there’s so many others. Derek Cianfrance is amazing and he works with different composers. I love his choice of collaborators musically. I love that he used the late great Harold Budd to do his shows [including I Know This Much is True], and then Mike Patton, and Grizzly Bear… the music is always incredible in his projects, but he doesn’t have a go-to person. His films are so heartbreaking and powerful and really, really raw. He’s fearless.

I feel very lucky that I’ve worked on these three films which are all very much like somebody’s ripping their heart out and putting it on the screen. I feel like Derek Cianfrance does that in his films too, in this unapologetic, super-vulnerable way of just ripping his soul out and putting it out for everyone to see. It’s incredibly appealing to find those projects, because they’re really rare.

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‘Minari’ is available everywhere in the US that movies can be rented, and screening in select theaters in the US and other regions. Listen to the official soundtrack and more of Mosseri’s film compositions in the official Spotify playlist via Milan Records. ‘Kajillionaire’ is available on VOD now.