#Anna: uh. negative 10?

[bruciemilf]

Do you have any specific favorite batfam ships?? Like the members x other people (hate that I gotta specify)

I LOVE bruharvey, brutalia and superbat!! Jason and Jaime are also a very cute concept to me. Kory and Dick also >>>> AND DUKE AND ANNA WERE SO CUTE WHAT????

[moonspirit]

For the writer ask game :)

5,6, 7, 8, 12, 15, 21, 27, 29, 35, 37, 39

T_T Annaaaaa thank you T_T

5. Share one of your strengths.

Uh, fluff. Scenes dripping with cheesy fluff because I'm a terribly romantic person xD I think I do a decent job with that.

6. Share one of your weaknesses.

Angst, I think. I mean, I do write it ofc, I sprinkle some light feelings here and there, but I don't think I do a good job with heavy angst, simply because my fics are escapism from real world negativity and bleakness, and so they stay happy.

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

12. Is there an episode above all others that inspires you just a little bit more?

Answered here and here :3

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Would you believe me when I say that I haven't even begun to write any of my favorite dialogues yet #_#?? It's true. But still, here's one I like from chapter 3 of VBEOW:

Armin throws an arm around her shoulder as they approach the last of the shops. “Is she wrong though?” He playfully knocks his head with hers. “We are on a date.”  She goes quiet, stiff as a board in his half-embrace. “A date you asked me out on,” He sings sweetly. “I thought I’d have to take all the first steps, but here you are Annie, leading–mmph!” Annie slaps a hand over his mouth and he laughs into her palm.  “You’re never coming with me again,” She grumbles but releases her hold when he slips the jar of cocoa inside her pockets. “You’re annoying.” “That's upsetting. I thought you liked this,” Armin sighs in mock-disappointment. “What with how you snuggled into me–” Her fierce glower shuts him up but it doesn’t wipe the teasing grin off his face and he ends up stealing a kiss from her lips.

15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

Oh, definitely TFLM xD Somehow I love it too much haha xD Very close to my heart.

21. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Two! The first time to refine sentence structure and wording, the second to proofread for errors.

27. How do you feel about collaborations?

Would love to! And Anna, especially with you xD We've already talked about it :3! HIVE MIND UNITE!

29. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

Oh, difficult. I honestly have so many I love way too much, but I consider them all way out of my league haha ._. So I actually don't know, I don't believe I could do justice to any of them with a prequel #_#

35. Would you ever kill off a canon character?

:D Why would you ask this. I'm literally a teddybear, writing teddybear stories. NO! NOBODY'S DYING IN MY FICS!

37. Talk about your current wips.

So I said a little bit here, but I'll say a little more I guess. Chapters 8 and 9 will deal with Annie's uh... struggle/dilemma, Chapter 10 will deal with Armin's POV and his own... struggle. Chapter 11 will be... hahahahahahahaha. But no, this Annie dilemma is probably the most serious one I've written to date and with it, we finally enter into a major subplot in VBEOW.

39. Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

So far, none and I'm grateful for that. But if I do in future, I'll simply ignore them if they're rude, and delete them if they get overly toxic.

[figula]

tagged by sweet little benny to do 10 songs from shuffle vs 5 you actually listen to: My starred playlist goes back to 2011 and there is some truly awful shit on there, so without further ado here they are, along w/ the dates I added them 1. katy perry - never really over (this is actually one of her beter songs and i think it's a shame it flopped, i think her career never recovered from the blonde pixie cut + it did look like shit to be honest) june 29 2019 2. gonna be leaving - abigail lapell (nice, folksy, little bit creepy) october 30 2020 3. sometimes you cant make it on your own - U2 (i uh have zero feelings about this song now either positive or negative) sept 18 2013 4. feed the birds - julie andrews (oct 7 2013) (no feelings about this song either but i mean it is one of the greatest disney songs for sure, the orchestral swell is still genuinely beautiful + moving) 5. cold water swimming - quiet houses (feb 2 2022) (this is nice but a bit boring, i think i was sad at the time) 6. lovers - anna of the north (dec 14 2018) (this still is good and nice, this was bc i had just heard it in to all the boys i loved before and liked it a lot. i still do like it tho even divorced from the context of the film) 7. friends - francis and the lights, kanye, bon iver (aug 15 2018) (yeah i still like this one but it's hard to listen to anything w/ kanye in it these days innit) 8. heavenly day - patty griffin (nov 1 2018) (yea this is bc i had just watched the haunting of hill house lol, i dont think otherwise i would have bothered that much, it's a nice song but a bit boring without the show aspect) 9. video games - lana del rey (jan 25 2012 !!!!!!) (yeah obviously this one is a modern classic) 10. viktoria - maria mena (sep 29 2012) (this is ok but it is a bit twee to me these days - i used to like that kind of tweeness but not so much now - i dont think it's terrible just not hugely my thing anymore, also maria mena so powerfully transports me back to when i was starving myself + liveblogging it to the internet + i would rather not listen to her anymore for that reason as well) songs i have actually been listening to lately: (with links! bc they're nice songs) 1. posters - long beard, ryan galloway - long beard is one of my favourite dreampop women - sweetheart is another one of my favourites by her 2. muna - the one that got away - i just love how gay everything they make is, and this song is very fun and dancey 3. welcome to my island - caroline polachek - she's so campy and fun i love her. when she's running on the beach hand in hand with a boar i just love it 4. flower in the dark (synthesised version) - maika loubté - french/japanese singer who sings in french/english/japanese, all these languages combined are v pretty to me 5. unfortunate love - hayden calnin - i think this is a really mid song and a shameless 2011 bon iver rip off to be honest. however it is also very inoffensive + useful if i just want sound in my ear while im doing somehing that needs a sort of melancholic atmosphere such as playing the long dark at night i wont tag anyone bc no one ever does it when i tag them :K and it takes so long to think of people im friendly with on here who wont feel pressured into it :K lol but if you think you'd enjoy it you can do it!! i enjoyed it :)

[agentduckorico]

Tell me about the dark order. What's their story

Theyre an evil cult but really they're a goofy emotional found family and we all love them. The stable currently consists of Evil Uno, Syu Grayson, Alan "5" Angels, 10, John Silver, Alex Reynolds, Colt Cabana, Anna Jay, and Brodie Lee Jr ("Negative One"). Their associates are Tay Conti and Hangman, and they have one former member in the way of the late Mr. Brodie Lee.

It started with Evil Uno and Stu Grayson, who have been tagging together forever, and they started getting more members and leaned heavily into the "ooh we're dark and scary" and they had goons and everything. They eventually stopped using the goons as their actual numbers grew and the goons were kinda stupid anyways.

At one point they started teasing their leader, The Exalted One, which was revealed to be Mr. Brodie Lee. This reveal was in March of 2020, and prior to that reception to the group was uh. Not too great, honestly. And then, u know, covid hit.

What really saved the group was not only the addition of Brodie Lee, but also the dark order stuff on BTE, the young bucks' weekly YouTube series that has behind the scenes stuff and both kayfabe (in character) skits as well as shoot (out of character) stuff. The dark order had a bunch of kayfabe skits on BTE as well as fun shoot stuff that really made them over with the fans. In fact Tony Khan (the head of aew) saw the disparity between John Silvers character on bte (goofy and loud) that everyone loved vs how he was acting in the ring at the time and was like "dude do the goofy stuff in the ring people are gonna love it) and he was right!

Brodie Lee went on to win the TNT title belt from Cody Rhodes, and then lost it to the same man during the company's first ever dog collar match. Unfortunately that was the last match he did, because Mr. Brodie Lee passed away on December 26, 2020.

The dynamite show after Brodie Lee passed shows how popular the group was, as the show was a celebration of his life and his work in the company, and every match had the Dark Order. In fact, the main match was a dream match for his son, Brodie Lee Jr, who was 10 and had endeared himself to the dark order irl to the point where he got his own number in the group (as everyone is given a number), and his is Negative One. Brodie Jr was given the tnt belt that his father had won (they made a new design for the belt for continued use in the show), and was given confirmation of a wrestling contract when he turns 18, if he wants.

As the Dark Order is Mr. Brodie Lee's legacy, the decision was made after his passing to fire the most part drop the evil angle and just have the group be goofy "evil" faces and mostly a found family. Negative One became their leader and everyone loves him, both within the company and the fans as well. The group also courted Hangman Page for a while, and while he ultimately turned down actually joining the group, they're still really close and will come out for his matches if need be and support him and we all really want this cowboy to join this goddamn cult okay

[samsflannel]

survey results are in!

sorry, this is gonna be a long post. yesterday i posted a survey with a list of polls regarding Supernatural, and it was SO much fun. I got over 300 responses, which was A LOT to sort through for the short responses, but I’ve gathered all the “data” and here it is! My responses to each poll will be under the screenshots (they are in groups of 2). I’m going to include the short answer responses in another post. ENJOY!

1. Starting off strong.

2. Pleased with this one as well.

3. Yep, I expected this response from most of us.

4. Sami, I made the wincest and destiel response just for you. YW.

5. CMON YOU GUYS......live a little!!! samjack sexy

6. I’m not really surprised that Playthings got the bulk of votes here, but I think my vote would have been 8x23.

7.  :)

8. i’m disappointed that more people didn’t choose the yellow one tbh

9. it is sexy. it is. wake up.

10. i love Dean, but he’s definitely an asshole. and that’s what makes him a great character!

11. hehe.....i understand why not a lot of people picked noncon bait....u r valid its ok im gross.

12. WHO THE FUCK PICKED NO......have you ever consumed media

13. WBK.

14. damn, Dean kinda got the short end here! a lot of samgirls took this survey

15. i get why you wouldn’t like Bugs bc it does have harmful stereotypes about native ppl but the rest of it is peak season 1 wdymmm

16. almost 50/50 here! old vs new fans we love to see it. I am definitely wincest old guard.

17. YEP. Eric Kripke needs shock therapy for that one

18. The fact that some people admitted to being dry.....tragic. I think Eileen is a great character but they are NOT endgame.

19. SO YOURE JUST GONNA SIT THERE AND ADMIT HOW WRONG YOU ARE??

20. ugh. yeah. same.

21. who tf picked blue. cmon. red meat incest agenda.

22. SAM MOMMY MILKERS!!!!! hucow sam <3

23. Mixed on this one! My response is obviously yellow :)

24. I do think Bobby favored Dean somewhat.

25. Johnzazel agenda so true

26. HIGHKEY CANON. AND SEXY

27. someone requested a combination of blue and yellow and you’re so right i apologize.

28. mixed on this one for top vs bottom fans! almost a 50/50 split

29. ANNA DID NOTHING WRONG

30. I can’t believe this one is almost 50/50. Ruby girlboss you guys are haters

31. again. admitting you’re dry. THEY FUCKED

32. yeah :(

33. Q-anon level conspiracy theory.

34. I actually fall into the blue. I do believe Cas was in love with Dean, but not the other way around. I think Cas loving Dean makes wincest so much more spicy

35. I love sam so much

36. those of you who answered yes........join my movement.

37. c’mon. even if you don’t ship wincest you need to admit this one.

38. sorry this one was self-indulgent.

39. JESS PEGGED SAM.

40. idk, i personally think Cassie deffo pegged Dean. She has top energy.

41. So all the people who answered no have definitely not read the fic (were too young to remember it) or are squicked by underage which is ok! its one of those fics i read back in 2010 so i have fond memories of it

42. hahahah you guys were mean on this one

43. it’s canon bro sorry

44. thank god this one was majority yellow

45. i give wincestiel a valid pass! dean has multiple holes

46. Jack is hole <3

47. I actually think both are great (and ppl were mad I didn’t have that option srry) but deanpussy is incredible and underrated.

48. SEXY>>>>>>

49. thank you for enabling me.

50. can you guess the redacted part? it was: insert various objects into himself :))))

51. ok heres the big question! i’m not surprised ilysmmbb won, but i personally vote for “yeah, there he is” !! i think its underrated and such a tender moment.

52. i’m in the blue. i like cas.

53. i actually am in the yellow on this one. i think its more realistic, although blue is hot forsure

54. top 3 cas moment right there.

55. objectively yes on this one. thank god for COVID- *gets shot at*

56. sorry this was shady i’m not really like this usually haha. i think death is my fave besides Rowena

57. obviously i’m in the red. i’m shocked that so many people said Yes.......

58. Clearly.

59. I enjoyed fan fiction! i love campy episodes as you all know (like Dog Dean afternoon and such) so i loved fan fiction. it was a nice nod to someone like me who has been watching for a long time.

60. HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU NOT KNOW WHO ANDY IS. i wish he would have been in the show longer........

61. uh....yeah.

62. Yeah c’mon. Dean would and you know it.

63. Thank god you guys didn’t fuck this up. I would agree, but Corbett is a close second for me.

64. IN THE RED BABY!!!!

65. we love a man bleeding out. we do.

66. i actually think misha is chill with J2 but.....you can’t deny J3 have more chemistry.

67. I uh......don’t think Dean would be a great father. is this me projecting my own issues with my father onto Dean? maybe,,,,

68. i’m surprised this was so negative! I think i would be interested

69. thanks for reading my shitty poetry!! i also had s4 dean in mind when writing this

70. CMON.....ITS KINDA SEXY CMON.......that spice of battered wife syndrome.......violent man in the house.......sam beaten down....im barking

71. haha yessss go yellow.

72. go yellow again.

73. I think I would actually vote yellow on this one. what a sweet and beautiful thing to say to someone, and its so very DEAN.

74. mhm. i think so. 

75. SEXY CONTROLLING OLDER BROTHER!!!!!

76. no idea why people answered yes to this one. that punch was fucked up. was it sexy? thats another story,,

77. WOKE. 

78. I do. I love pilot Dean.

79. Dean is a carfucker. any side of the fandom can recognize that

80. thank you GREEN!!!!!!

81. Sam is bi wtf! Sera Gamble erasure

82. Padackles commune <33333 they all fuck and they don’t know whose kid is whose!!!! (not really but this is sexy)

83.  THESE BROTHERS ARE WEIRD FOR SURE.

[elsanna-shenanigans]

April Fool’s contest review

So, this was supposed to be a joke. Nevertheless, we received a total of 14 (yes, one was sent a little later in the month) submissions. Out of those, 3 were not stories (one was just an emoji touching tiddies, and the other two were the words ‘boobs’ and ‘boobies’ x69) and as such were not posted. The rest makes up this list:

1. Boobies Please - 69 words - FishyCoffee (FFN, AO3, Tumblr)     2. Titterific. - 69 words - heck (AO3, Tumblr) 3. Leather Bound - 69 words - anonymous 4. Uh Boobs, Yeah? - 69 words - Racoonisphere (AO3) 5. Anna Loves Elsa's Boobs - 69 words - Mandajoy92 (AO3, FFN, Tumblr)   6. Bloobies - 160 words - Space Alien (AO3)   7. last minute boobies - 295 words - runawaygladiator (AO3, Tumblr) 8. World hard and cold, tiddy soft and warm - 420 words - themountainsays (AO3, Tumblr) 9. Title way too long - 420 words - djupcake (FFN, AO3) 10. An Official Declaration - 420 words - let-it-show (AO3, Tumblr) 11. you came back to for me - 520 words reee illegal - Anam (FFN, AO3)  

As previously agreed, entries with 69 words get 69 points, entries with 420 words get negative 420 points, 1st submission gets a x5 multiplier on points and submission 7 gets a live read by Pewdiepie.

For legal reasons we cannot actually provide coverage of one of these promises and for ‘I don’t want to’ reasons we can’t provide coverage of any of these promises, so you’re all winners. Good job.

Now let me die in peace.

[interstellar-shores]

Your Mind Aches - Ch 10. Stop Draggin My Heart Around

Josh Kiszka x (F) Reader x Jake Kiszka

Warnings: Some good closure. 

Summary: It’s okay to date your ex’s brother. Right? After being in a successful long-term relationship, things get rocky when the boys prepare to go on tour. Through long text threads and occasional coffee outings with your best friend, you discover that your ex’s twin has feelings for you. 

Tag list: @garbagevanfleet, @brianmaysclog, @anditsmywholeheart 

I was thrown for a loop. Well, not just me. Jake was floored by the idea of Josh and I settling our differences. After all, Josh and I never had an official closer to the relationship. We moved on, not caring what anyone would think. And I guess now we opened up to suggestions. I asked Josh to meet me at the cafe down the street from my apartment. I suggested we meet at 1:00 p.m. because I knew Josh wouldn’t be up till noon at the earliest, plus I didn’t wanna start my day with a conversation that could end in a total shit show.

I sipped on my coffee and checked my phone for any update on Josh’s arrival when I saw three unread messages. One from Jake, another from Y/F/N, and an unknown number.

Jake

Jake: Hey, Just so you know, whatever you and Josh settle on, I’ll support you guys.

          Just please be honest with me when I ask questions about your meeting.

Y/N:  I will let you know anything. I can’t speak for Josh on this decision.

         And thank you for the support!

Jake: Anytime, darling.

Y/F/N

Y/F/N: Hey, hope everything is gonna be okay. I know you’re a little anxious.

Y/N:    Thanks! I hope it goes well too!

The last message was one that I didn't see coming.

Unknown #

UN#: Hi! Umm, I know you weren’t expecting this but I’m Anna.

         Josh’s ex.

What?

Y/N:  How did you get my number?

UN#: Sammy gave it to me.

         I wanted to say that I love Josh, but I know you guys need to talk things over.

         So I hope you guys can get some closuer.

         Plus, you’re dating Jake now.

         But, please keep me in the loop. Thx!

Ugh! It’s already bad enough that I have to tell Jake everything, but now this! 

“Uh, hey Y/N”. Josh said while taking a set across from me. I was completely wrapped up in the weirdness of Anna texting me that I didn’t even notice when Josh showed up. But also, ex-girlfriend?! Josh broke up with Anna!

“Hey.” I managed to gulp out. This moment just got more awkward.

“So… You look well. Um, have you done anything different with, uh, you’re…”

“No, I haven’t. I see your hair grew out on the sides.”

“Uh, yeah. I’m thinking about abandoning the shaved sides.”

“Hmm.” This is all too weird. This is almost weirder than when he dumped me. He had a plan for that conversation. But this one was strictly improvise. “So, care to explain the situation with Anna? And why she texted me minutes ago.” I might as well get that topic out of the way because I don’t know what to do.

��Oh… She uh- her and I are umm- on a break. When I heard about you leaving with Jake on new years I had a pretty bogus reaction. Then Danny brutally straightened out how everyone negatively views her.”

“Oh.”

“So, what did she say?”

“Umm..” I guess he has the right to know, but I was hoping that we could just brush over that. “She thinks that it’s good for us to get closure… Uh.. because she loves you.” I think that’s a good summary?

Josh let out a sigh. “So, she breaks up with me even though she still-” Josh paused and looked at my changing expression. I went from shy to a bit of a smirk, but not an angry one. More of an amused look because of the hypocrisy that his sentence contained. “-I guess I can see why this conversation didn’t happen sooner. Fuck. I- I’m. God damn. I am just an-”

“Asshole?” I say in a borderline sympathetic voice trying to mask the glorious feeling of getting him to admit that he was in the wrong last year.

“Oof. Shit. I’m sorry.”

“Good. That’s good.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a good start to us getting some closure.” 

“Umm, I guess, but- ah fuck- I-I don’t wanna be with Anna.”

“And?”

“I guess I just miss you… I missed you. And I fucked up because of that.”

“Josh what are you getting at? Is this your way of saying that you want me back or that you wish you never broke up with me?”

“I-I kinda want you back, but I don’t know because all of these thoughts started circulating when I found out about you and Jake. Shit, I’m sorry. Look, if you are happy with Jake then stay with him, I don’t care, I can’t control what makes you happy, and I disappointed you.”

“Wow. Yanno, I thought this was gonna be harder, maybe even some yelling going on.”

“Yelling? Did we really end on that bad of a note this time that you thought we’d yell at each other?”

“Last time we ended up screaming at each other, I just feared that it would happen again.”

“So, are we okay? Now! Umm- I mean are we doing good with this whole closure thing?”

“I think so. Umm, and I appreciate you supporting Jake and I. Even though it’s kinda weird.”

“How is it weird? Because we’re twins?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s only weird if we make it weird if we’re being honest.”

“True. So, what are you gonna do? About Anna?”

“I’m gonna tell her that I need to figure out my shit. And that it’s probably best that I do that by myself before I demolish any more relationships.”

“Sounds like another closure talk… And a really good plan.”

“So… I guess we should continue to reunite, platonicly. Friends?” There’s a long pause. Confused glances and loud thinking happening. This isn’t closure. This is mending.

[beatriceeagle]

no pressure if you're busy but i was wondering - is titans good? or is it more a show where you're like it's not /good/ but i like it? i thought it looked interesting but then everyone was so negative about it i kind of got put off. And then your (really excellent btw) video resparked why i thought it'd be interesting to watch in the first place. thanks!

I haven’t paid a ton of attention to what fans have said about Titans, although I’m aware that there’s a general negative vibe around it. I suspect that whether Titans is worth watching for you depends a whole lot on what you want out of Titans.

I went into the show having never read a DC comic in my life. I was coming off of a week-long Wikipedia binge on Batman and his associated characters—the Robins, the Batgirls, some dude named Signal—and was talking to @thirdblindmouse about how it had become overwhelmingly clear to me that we’ve been doing Batman all wrong for decades, and the way to tell the story is as an ensemble family drama about intergenerational trauma. And she was like, “Uh, have you seen Titans?” So all of my pre-existing understanding of the characters comes from Google and selected comics scans.

I suspect that the show’s interpretation of Dick Grayson, in particular, is... skewed? I’m almost certain, based on scans of comics I’ve seen/the half a season of Teen Titans I watched a lifetime ago, that its interpretation of Starfire is highly nontraditional. There are certain storylines that I know they’re adapting, but like, they are playing very loose with the adaptation of even some of the characters’ basic personalities. (I’m pretty sure—again, not really a DC comics fan!)

So if you’re very committed to a generally cheerful Dick Grayson, Titans will not give you that. If you have a vision of Batman as a generally decent man, Titans will really not give you that. In general, I think that the show would be better if it erred more towards a lighter tone for Dick—there are moments where he has shades of Quentin in season three of The Magicians, when Q was kind of endearingly hapless, and the show is better for it. But I think it earns its ambivalent stance on Batman, and uses it well. Batman in Titans looks and acts like your dad whose office you’re not allowed into. And Titans!Starfire is really amazing. Like, Anna-Diop-is-a-revelation, fuck-now-you’ve-got-me-shipping-against-my-will amazing.

The bigger issue that Titans has—and this is not unrelated to Dick’s characterization, I guess—is its relationship with violence. Titans is a really violent show, especially in its first season, and it’s off-putting. Pretty much every superhero show involves the heroes beating up bad guys; not every superhero show involves the protagonist mutilating someone in the course of a fight.

This is not unthinking hyperviolence. Titans (which is actually annoyingly pretty good about tracking character through action sequences) is trying to make a point: The compounding traumas of Dick’s childhood resulted in an explosion of rage. Batman funneled his anger into Dick; Dick funnels his anger into whatever bad guy he’s fighting. The show isn’t subtle about this idea. Dick says it out loud several times. Nor (after the first fight) does the show endorse Dick’s over-the-top violence. Everyone from Donna Troy to Dick himself remarks on it with, at minimum, concern. And over time, Dick’s fighting style changes; he consciously leaves the hyperviolence behind, until his final fight of season two is primarily evasive.

But Dick is not the only Titans character who is working out his rage on the criminals he apprehends, and the show is considerably less coherent in its tonal approach to other characters’ violence. Hank and Dawn—the masked hero team Hawk and Dove—have an origin story that plays out like the the backstory of a serial killer couple, their interlocking trauma and rage and grief finding expression and acceptance in each other. The show is aware of the dynamic, but it’s not clear that it’s aware of how disturbing it is. Hank and Dawn are, primarily, people who need to cause violence in order to be at peace in their own heads—and only secondarily, people who want to protect others from danger. Season two does do some work exploring this idea, but the exploration is confused by the fact that, in the end, the show wants both of them on the cast.

Which is kind of the problem with any superhero show that sets out to explore the ethics of superheroism—at the end of the day, the characters aren’t gonna retire to Wisconsin, you know? So Titans presents hyperviolence, presents it as problematic (sometimes), presents it as almost an inevitable consequence of traumatized teenagers deciding to pursue vigilante justice... and then builds a superhero team of traumatized teenagers and young adults. As is its basic conceit.

And on a more fundamental level, the hyperviolence just sort of makes the show feel very grim. It’s already an aesthetically dark show, a lot of the time, and then you’ve got people getting mutilated, and Batman’s an asshole and Dick Grayson’s got anger management issues, and it feels like the show’s grimdark. 

I don’t think it is, though. First of all, despite everything, Titans actually has a sense of humor, both in general and occasionally about itself—I mean, it’s not Legends of Tomorrow, but it understands how to crack a smile every now and then. (They have a superdog. He shoots lasers out of his eyes!) But more importantly, at the end of the day, Titans is hopeful. Yeah, it’s a show about anger and violence and intergenerational trauma—but it’s more specifically about moving beyond those things. At its heart, it’s about being a better parent to your children than your parents were to you.

That central relationship between Dick and Rachel—Dick trying, and sometimes failing, but always caring and trying to be better for Rachel, and Rachel’s absolute fury with him when he fails, but her unshakeable devotion to him for being there, the unbelievable amount of sway he holds in her world—that’s what makes the show work for me. There are other vital relationships, too—Rachel and Kory, especially, but also all of the pseudo-familial relationships built up between all of the characters—but it all comes back to Dick and Rachel.

I mean, it’s a found family show. So much so that in season two, there are like, three separate speeches about how this is a family, not one of those stupid biological families, but a family we found, and isn’t that the important kind? And how grimdark can a found family show really be?

The other thing that might throw some people off—but which is actually one of my favorite things about the show—is the structure. If you take a look at the Titans episode list, you’ll see that roughly 75 percent of the episodes are named after a character or characters. Season one of Titans is basically about Dick, Starfire, Gar, and Rachel (Raven from the comics) traveling the midwest, picking up the people who will eventually form the main Titans team. When they encounter those people, they get a spotlight episode. So in episode two, “Hawk and Dove,” when Dick and Rachel lay low at Hank and Dawn’s, the episode starts out with an extended cold open, entirely disconnected from the main characters, just introducing us to Hank and Dawn as characters. Episode eight, “Donna Troy,” sees Dick go to visit his old friend Donna in Milwaukee, and... basically just hang out with her for half the episode, while the rest of the cast does plot stuff. Occasionally, these spotlight episodes stop the plot completely: Towards the end of season one, an episode ends on a cliffhanger. the next episode, rather than showing the outcome of the cliffhanger, is “Hank and Dawn,” an episode that flashes back to show the story of how Hank and Dawn met and became masked heroes. (There’s an in-episode device that eventually makes it clear why this story is related to the cliffhanger.) Season two uses the cliffhanger-into-a-flashback-spotlight-episode structure two more times, once with a character we’ve never met before.

I can see this being deeply frustrating to a viewer watching week-by-week (and I would not recommend watching Titans in that manner). And it’s certainly an unconventional way to structure a season of television. But honestly? I think it’s half of what I like about the show. The spotlight and flashback episodes are good—often some of the best the show’s produced. They don’t stop the plot for no reason; in season two, in particular, they provide context and backstory and characterization in a way that would be almost impossible to do, or to do so well, without the space of a full episode. They make the show more episodic than it would otherwise be—always a joy, in a television landscape full of 10-hour movies—and give it space to experiment with tone and genre. They make the characters richer, and the relationships more complex.

Does it slow down the plot? Absolutely. But Titans is not overflowing with complex plot, and I don’t really think it should try to. The plot of Titans hangs together juuuuuuuust enough to make the themes and characters and relationships work. It’s coherent—we’re not talking Teen Wolf, here—but it’s not brilliant, and honestly, that’s fine by me. But I suppose if you want your plot to be really good, this may not be the show for you.

Finally, I’ll say that Titans, though not what I would call a feminist show (it has a primarily male writing staff and I think it shows) does have a kind of surprisingly large female cast? I wanna say it’s five men, five women, by the end of season two? (Yeah, it’s a fucking enormous cast.) And the women have actual relationships with each other, ones that the show puts some effort into maintaining and remembering. I realize this is damning with faint praise, but honestly I’d just expected a show like Titans to not do that, and was prepared to ignore it, and was kind of pleasantly surprised when I didn’t have to.

In summary: I told my sister that Titans is 10% men in spandex standing on cars, 30% team as family, 30% intergenerational trauma, 20% an uncomfortable relationship with is own hyperviolence, and 10% Krypto the Superdog. I think that tracks. That show, despite having Anna Diop’s glowing presence, has a lot of flaws, but it also really worked for me on some soul-deep level. I am exactly on its wavelength.

I do not think that Titans is a fantastic television show, but I also don’t think it’s a very bad one. I think it’s generally competent show that is very interesting in some aspects, is weak in some areas, falls prey to some inherent trappings of its genre, is thoughtful about familial trauma, is not thoughtful enough about violence and criminal justice, has a lot of very compelling performances, is really poorly lit a lot of the time, pays a lot of attention to its visual language, kind of thinks Batman’s an asshole, and has Krypto the Superdog. It really worked for me; I can see why others might not be into it; it might work for you!

[seriouslyhooked]

Lost Souls and Reveries (Part 16)

22 part AU written for @cssns​. Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6,Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15. Story available on AO3 Here and FF Here. Banner created by the amazingly talented @shipsxahoy​!!

Killian Jones is a wolf shifter without roots, without plans, and without a pack. He’s a rogue, someone humans should avoid and shifters should be wary of given his lineage. But one night years back set him on a path he didn’t realize he was taking, a path leading to a future he is destined for. That future is tied up in one woman – a human named Emma Nolan. Together Emma and Killian will find not only answers, but a love that’s truly fated. But will love be enough to set them free, or will past demons win out in the end? (Answer: love always wins – I am writing this so despite some tiny pockets of angst it’s basically a fluff-filled insta-love fest). Rated M.

A/N: Hey everyone! So we are back after the LONGEST time away I have ever had from fic writing since I started way back when. I know it was such a long break, and so many of you have reached out to see if I am still in this, but I never forgot this story. I just had to pass the hardest year of school ever to get back to my CS happy place! There is so much going on in this story right now, so many pieces that need tying together or resolution on, and in this chapter we are moving full steam ahead (but since it’s been a while you might want to go back and refresh on where we left off before). There’s finally a meeting that so many have you have been waiting for and there’s love, loss, and so many other emotions too… but I won’t spoil much more than that. You’ll just have to read and then let me know what you think! Anyway thank you all so much for continuing to follow along in this story with me. Hope you enjoy!

“Okay, so I know that technically I can do more than make flowers grow, but I have to be honest… this is so freaking cool, I never want to stop!”

The excitement exuding from Anna this afternoon as she and Elsa worked on some magical ‘training’ with Ruby was undeniable. Emma couldn’t blame Anna for that elation either, not when she was watching her friend do something remarkable and almost unbelievable. The beautiful garden that had been here just a few hours ago was now totally over grown, with so many more flowers than there had been before. The colors of their petals were also now touched with an ethereal element. They seemed to glow, and to radiate this precious golden light from within. The veins of each leaf swirled in a pronounced and gorgeous way, and these plants were simply bursting with life and energy and magic.

Over the past three days Anna and Elsa had been doing their best to make progress in their ability to wield their family gift. This had been a fatiguing process, with Ruby having to start from very basic places. There were rules, it turned out, about how to cast spells and use magic safely. One had to remember all of these steps to make sure no one got hurt, and though at times Anna was a little hyper active or distractible, Emma had never seen her friend more studious and focused. She was determined to access her magic and do everything she could with it, and that determination was bringing her leaps and bounds in a very short time. In fact, Ruby was so confident in Anna’s ability to test her gifts and to remember to follow the laws of magic that she’d given her free time to just explore what she could do, thus this impromptu garden party of sorts.

“It’s amazing, Anna. How does it feel?” Emma asked, having a sense herself as she felt the warm and subtle kiss of the magic in the air around them. Emma felt rejuvenated and calmed all at once by this magical display, so she could only imagine what casting the spells that made this possible felt like.

“It feels like…” Anna closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and soaking in the joy around her, and when she opened her eyes they were filled with emotion and a thoughtful quality that spoke to real happiness. “It feels like getting to lick the spoon when Grams makes cookies, or the first beach day with Mom and Dad every summer.”

“That good?” Emma asked, less as a question and more as a statement of awe and true joy for her friend.

“That good,” Anna agreed, her smile growing as her eyes cast around at all she’d created over the past few hours. But eventually her gaze turned back to the house and some of that happiness dimmed. It wasn’t fully gone, but now there was a little bit of sadness in the midst of all this celebration. “I only wish that Elsa felt this way too.”

“She’ll get there,” Emma promised, though she didn’t have visions of the future to check that that was true. All she had was a thorough understanding of her other best friend, and faith that soon the pieces would fall as surely into place for Elsa as they had for her sister. “You two are never far apart for long.”

“And where we go you usually follow,” Anna joked, making Emma laugh even though this time that couldn’t be the case.

“Unless you know of some mystical waters or whatever the heck sparked magical people years ago, where I could get a gift like yours, I’m not sure that’ll be happening this time. I think the flowers only have one new overlord to answer to.”

“Well of course your magic won’t be the same,” Anna said, like this whole conversation was so totally obvious. “But being a shifter? I mean come on, that’s arguably the coolest magic of all. You’ll get to turn into a wolf for crying out loud!”

At the mention of her suppressed shifter status Emma’s heart jumped. That seemed to be a recurring thing since her grandmother had turned up and dropped the bomb of all bombs. Well honestly, maybe the biggest reveal had been the fact that her grandmother was even alive at all, but looking past the magic that was required for all of this to be real, and the heartbreak of the years that Ruth and her Dad had been apart, the reality that there was shifter blood running through Emma’s veins was surreal.

Being a hybrid, even if her ability was currently blocked, changed so much about what Emma knew of herself. It was a blessing and a curse in so many ways. On the one hand Emma was glad to have some things make more sense. The white wolf in her dreams all those years ago and that feeling that not everything was as it should be now made sense, but at the same time there was no guarantee that Elsa could even remove the block in Emma’s spirit as she had for Neal.

Currently Elsa was trying to access those memories with Ruby, but it was slow going. And even if Elsa could recreate the spell, Emma had to think about if that’s what she wanted. It would no doubt be dangerous, and no one actually knew what happened when human/shifter hybrids came of age. She would be the first one as far as they all knew and she was so out of touch with her animal Emma didn’t even realize it was there when she was awake. So how could she ever expect to be a good shifter? How could she hope to learn all that needed to be learned? What if in the end she wasn’t meant to be one? What if -

“Uh oh, and there you go again, over thinking things,” Anna said, bringing Emma’s attention back to the real world. Anna’s hand was now on her hip and she shook her head in an almost chastising way. “You’ve got to stop doing that, Ems. Elsa is going to figure this out, she’s going to find a way to safely lift the block, and then you are going to finally be all you were meant to be.”

Emma didn’t want to argue with her friend, but suffice it to say she wasn’t as convinced. Anna made it sound so simple, but in Emma’s mind it wasn’t. What she had right now was brilliant. Her life was full and happy. She had her family and her friends, and she had a true love, her fated mate, a man who made her experience love in the most blissful of ways. She didn’t want to risk any of that, and she didn’t want to go off hoping for more when what she had right now was more than enough. No one should be this lucky, despite the continued unrest that waiting for Liam was bringing, and Emma didn’t want to jinx things by feeling entitled to being a shifter too.

“It’s like me and my magic, Emma. When we found out, I was excited but I was also really scared. I kept thinking that everyone was wrong. There had to be a mistake, because it wasn’t me who was special it was Elsa.”

“Anna,” Emma said, her earnestness showing through in her tone. “Elsa might be special but so are you. You deserve your magic just as much as she deserves hers.”

“I know that, Emma, I do, but even if I know that, there’s still that voice in my head that doesn’t want to hear it, and I bet it sounds a lot like the one you have telling you that you’re not ready to be or worthy of being a shifter.”

Anna came over and took Emma’s hand in hers in a sign of solidarity. She was right, after all. Those negative thoughts did seem to be something they shared, and though she was nervous, Emma craved the chance to overcome hers just as Anna had.

“So how did you get over it?” Emma asked and Anna laughed.

“I didn’t. It’s still there sometimes, but I just have to tell it to shut up. Fear doesn’t want you to hope for good things, Emma. It wants you to limit yourself and deprive yourself of things that could be great just because they also could be scary. You can either cave to it or you can overcome it, and not so deep down you know that. And you know how I know that you know?  Because you, Emma Nolan, are one of the bravest people I have ever met.”

Emma’s throat tightened at the words, and she could feel her friend’s own emotion starting to get the better of her. Anna’s feelings freely flowed in the air around them just as they always did. She was not the kind of person to stifle her reactions. Instead, she spoke the truth as she saw at, blowing Emma away as she did.

“There’s no one else who faces a crisis like you, Emma. You stay steady, even when everyone else breaks. You did it when we were kids and small scale things happened, like when the Heller boys decided to start bullying Elsa, or when someone had to scale the McNealy’s fence to get our ball back.”

Emma barked out a laugh, thinking about old Mr. McNealy and how he used to scare them senseless as kids. Now they knew he was just a curmudgeonly old guy, but back then he seemed like a real monster.

“And you did it when everything was happening with Neal. You had to take on so much far too soon, and you did it unflinchingly for your brother and for your parents. Then, when we lost Grams, and then lost Mom and Dad so soon after, you were there for us too. Night and day, no matter what, you were our rock. As much as Elsa and I pulled ourselves together, you were right there with us, and you never questioned it. It’s always a given to you that you’ll help everyone you love and anyone you meet.”

“Well when you put it like that…” Emma said, attempting some humor even though her voice was thick with emotion. She was touched at Anna’s words, and it came to a head when her friend pulled her in for a hug. The tears pooling in her eyes fell at that point, quietly but undeniable, and she had to wipe them away as she pulled back. “Thanks, Anna. And just for the record, I don’t think I have that calm in the storm thing all to myself.”

“I know. It was a great pep talk wasn’t it?” Anna asked, prompting more laughter between the friends that continued until some rustling came from the hedgerow and Elsa and Ruby appeared.

“Seems like you two are having fun,” Elsa said, her eyes softening immediately as she saw Emma and Anna. There was still stress there, but Emma could see that Elsa felt better being back in their company.

“Well there’s plenty to go around,” Anna joked, flicking her wrist and launching an ivy vine up into the air and having it rustle against Elsa’s braided hair. “Unless you guys still have work to do. It’s kind of been a lot for one day, don’t you think?”

“About that… we’ve got some good news and some not so good news,” Ruby announced, her hands waving along as she talked, a trait Emma knew she and Killian shared when they were catching other people up to speed. “The good news is that we were able to access Elsa’s memory of when she helped Neal.”

“So you saw the spell?” Emma asked, looking between Ruby and Elsa. A chill zipped through her at their faces, because despite the breakthrough, neither of them seemed super enthusiastic.

“We did,” Ruby continued. “Turns out Elsa did the impossible – she literally removed Neal’s two souls from his body to blend them back together.”

“Removed them... wait, like killed him?” Emma asked, shocked, and Elsa looked so stricken as she quickly explained.

“I didn’t kill him. It was just a few seconds. It happened really quickly. He just went to sleep for a second, that’s all.”

“But technically without a soul a person is dead,” Ruby supplied. “And if they’re not, we’re entering vampire territory.”

“Vampires?!”  The question was yelled out not just by Emma, but Anna and Elsa as well, and Ruby winced in response.

“Sorry, bad joke. Vampires aren’t actually a thing. But then again removing souls from a body wasn’t supposed to be a thing either. So at this point…” Her continued attempt at light heartedness petered off as Ruby shrugged.

“But you can do it,” Emma said, looking to Elsa and her friend nodded.

“Apparently I can. I had no idea what I was doing then, and I can’t find anything in my family’s archives. It’s a mystery.”

“Would you even be able to do it again?” Anna asked and Emma fully expected Elsa to say that she couldn’t, but for the first time Elsa looked certain as she nodded.

“Yes. I can do it.”

“Maybe,” Ruby stressed. “She can maybe recreate a miracle a second time, but I have to be honest guys, this is not magic I know how to wield. It’s a real risk. Anything could go wrong. Your souls could react badly, they could not blend, they could reject any kind of intervention at all, and if they did…”

“If they did, I could die.”

There was no need to say anything else on the matter for a moment. The four of them allowed Emma’s observation to hang in the air, sinking in in a sickening way. Life and death situations were something Emma had faced before, but she’d never willingly put herself in a dangerous way. To do so now would either be incredibly foolish or impossibly brave, and Emma wasn’t sure where she stood yet on that. On the one hand, she could be taking a huge risk only to lose everything she now held so dearly. On the other, this could be the answer to that last missing piece of the puzzle that was her life. Plus it would help not only her, but Neal as well who was going to be facing his first shift just a few more years from now.

“Whatever you decide, Emma, there’s no need to rush,” Anna said, finally breaking the silence that had fallen as she touched Emma’s arm in a reassuring motion. “It’s not like Elsa is going anywhere. We’ve got time to see what you might want.”

“Exactly,” Ruby said with a firm nod. “This isn’t the kind of thing we should be too hasty about. Let’s just tackle one thing at a time. Liam will be arriving any day now. Let’s climb that mountain before staring down another.”

The four of them agreed this was a good place to leave things, and Emma was relieved. Crazy that the impending arrival of Killian’s unknowable brother was of relief to her now when for days it had been so anxiety inducing. But for some reason, that felt like a battle that could be won. For this moment she was part of a team, it was her and Killian and her friends and family. She felt like anything could be accomplished as long as they were together, and she genuinely had hope in her heart that things weren’t as hopeless with Liam as Killian believed. But trying to heal her block… well that would just be her and Elsa trying to do something they had no real clue how to do, and that was scary as hell.

“Ruby, what’s wrong?”

Elsa’s sudden question prompted Emma to look to her new friend, immediately feeling a pang of anxiety again. Ruby was overly alert, and Emma had seen that kind of posturing before from Killian when he thought she was in trouble.

“We’ve got company.”

“Liam?” Emma and Elsa asked at the same time and Ruby shook her head.

“No. I think I’d sense if it were Liam. No I just heard something. In the woods back there.”

The three friends turned to follow Ruby’s gaze, but Emma was shocked when Ruby moved forward towards the sound. She told them to stay back and she’d figure it out, but just as she moved out of sight, Emma, Elsa, and Anna heard a throaty chuckle that came from the opposite direction. They jumped in surprise and whipped their attention over and then Emma and her friends sighed aloud in relief.

“Graham, was that you?” Emma asked, and their town Sherriff grinned.

“Maybe.”

“It was him,” Anna said with an eye roll. “Well I hope you’re happy. You scared five years off my life. Not cool Graham.”

“Ruby it’s okay you can come out!” Emma called. “It’s just Graham. He’s harmless.”

“Oh you wound me, Emma. I like to think I could do some…”

Whatever words Graham was going to say trailed away as his eyes looked past Emma and back to the tree line. Without even having to peer over, Emma knew what he was staring at, or rather who he was staring at. The only person in that direction was Ruby and from Graham’s expression, this was more than a strictly ‘she’s hot’ reaction. Emma flipped her gaze to her new friend and sure enough, Ruby looked just as struck silly as Graham did.

“Ooh, look it’s happening again!” Anna whispered whisper-yelled gleefully. “Love struck, the two of them. It’s like Emma and Killian 2.0. I bet you guys a month of diner lunches that they’re fated mates too.”

Both Emma and Elsa refused to take the bet, instead watching (with totally no chill and no attempt at giving Graham and Ruby privacy) as the two shifters moved toward each other. Emma wondered what it must be like for them, but she had some idea. Killian had detailed to her what it felt like to be confronted with one’s other half if you were a shifter. Everything shifted focus and all of a person’s senses were heightened and needy. It was an instant force of lust and want and adoration. It was really love at first sight, and for most shifters it was just understood. There was no need for small talk or getting to know each other. Nature chose your perfect match, and time would prove that to be true.

Because she knew this, it didn’t surprise Emma when Graham took Ruby’s hand in his and when his other hand came to cup her cheek. They were so close, eyes flashing a wolf’s color and they looked just a split second away from forgetting themselves entirely and making out or doing more. Surprisingly though, words did come, and though Emma and Elsa and Anna were totally forgotten, Ruby did seem to have the sense to ask some critical questions.

“But how did I… there’s no trace of you in town. I should have known about this - known about you.”

“Oh trust me, babe, Tink is going to be hearing quite an earful from me about this.”

“Babe?” Emma whispered to Elsa and Anna, half shocked at the word choice and half uncomfortable. In all her years of knowing Graham he had never, ever, called anyone anything like that before.

“Tink?” Ruby asked, and Emma was really curious now about what having a mate meant for Ruby. There was a chance she was so overwhelmed with Graham that she wasn’t able to tap into her gifts, but this seemed like a relatively straightforward vision. Also, Emma was like ninety five percent sure Tink had been mentioned more than once.

“Girl, she is so gone for him,” Anna said gleefully. “Oh! We should make popcorn!”

“Uh no,” Emma and Elsa said at the same time before Elsa continued on. “If anything we should leave them be. It’s only a matter of time before they start going at it, and we don’t need to be anywhere near seeing that.”

Emma laughed at Elsa’s claims as Anna feigned a sigh. Obviously she wasn’t interested in spying on the intimate moments of two new mates, but Anna really did love love, and Emma knew her friend was hoping for more cuteness before any impending sexy times. But whatever any of them were expecting, it likely wasn’t what happened next. One second Ruby and Graham looked poised to run off together, and the next Ruby’s features changed and her eyes went hazy. It only lasted a moment but she jumped when it was over and she looked to be in actual pain. Graham moved with her, and though Ruby was still alarmed, Emma could see the slightest bit of comfort come form Graham still being there. Still it wasn’t enough to fully calm her, and what Ruby declared next sent ice rushing through Emma’s veins.

“He’s here. Liam’s here, and he just found Killian.”

Shit!

………………………………..

At times like this it was difficult for Killian to know if pacing was a product of habit or an animalistic urge.

There was evidence enough to suggest it could be his animal. Wolves were known for patrolling when they were contained, agitated, or ready to fight, but as the morning light shifted to a mid-day warmth, Killian’s pacing felt like more than that. True, he felt a little held captive; the anxiety of what was coming was getting to him and there might indeed be reason to fight. But this motion right now, this back and forth route in front of his new Storybrooke home, wasn’t caused by his brother or an impending battle: it was caused by a desire so strong it was starting to control him.

As the days passed by, Killian’s love for Emma only grew. Despite the full moon being long gone by now, he felt this continuing clawing need to be near his mate. It was difficult for him to be away from her, and it was damn near impossible when there was a threat not too far off. In fact, the only thing keeping him sane right now was that she was protected and surrounded by other people who loved her. Ruby was a more than capable shifter who had made it very clear that she considered Emma family in the realest kind of way, and with her visions she should see any danger for Emma before it got here. They had been spotty as of late, with larger blind spots than she was used to, but both Killian and Ruby were certain that when the time for Liam’s arrival actually came, Ruby would know of it. That, coupled with Anna and Elsa’s new gifts, was enough to keep Killian from trailing Emma all afternoon and trying to protect her himself.

The fierceness of his need to see Emma safe was one of the strongest things he’d ever experienced, second only to his love for her, and carrying around such immensity of emotion made Killian eager to shift and to run and howl. He’d allowed himself the first two so far this morning already, but eventually he’d been called back to human form and to the house again. Connecting with his wolf right now just didn’t seem to hold all of the power that it once did for his peace of mind, and Killian was relatively certain he knew why. For underneath all of that protective instinct, and beyond the anticipation of seeing his brother again, there was something else clawing at Killian, something he wanted to do so badly but kept having to keep himself in check over.

Opening the small black box that held a symbol of his hopes for he and Emma, Killian looked down again at his grandmother’s ring, his eyes catching the way the precious gem sparkled in the light. It looked just the same as it always had, a classic and beautiful ornament, now fitted to Emma to perfection, and designed to show the world how tied up they were together. It was a testament to love, a symbol that, if she said yes, the two of them would be wed. And even though he knew that’s what Emma wanted, seeing as she’d already agreed to be his mate, it still made his heart sputter in his chest to think of asking her. He knew that he wanted that moment to be perfect. Emma deserved everything from flowers to candlelight. She deserved ambiance and the undeniable truth that he loved her more than anything. She deserved a story, one they could tell forever and look back at with pride. But even though he knew what should be done, it was killing Killian not to just do this now. He hated waiting. His patience was all but fried, and every day that he spent not working towards that forever with Emma hurt him more than he could say.

But here was where it all came back full circle. Because the reality was he couldn’t create that moment. He couldn’t give Emma those things when he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. All of them were anticipating the arrival of his brother and the showdown that would come, and until that was faced and dealt with Killian couldn’t do what he wanted most. It would be too selfish on his part, and he already had regrets about how things had gone with Emma already. Not their being together surely, for he could regret nothing about having Emma in his life and in his heart. But he wished that things could have been a little less harried. Emma was strong and determined. She would stand tall through whatever storm came their way, but he wished she didn’t have to. That essence of normalcy that she was craving? Truth was he craved it too. If they could just have a little bit of peace and quiet to enjoy all that they’d found it would be miraculous. But it seemed too much to ask the universe to have such a brilliant mate and a bit of time to truly enjoy his good fortune.

You’re going to wear a patch in the grass, Killian.

He heard the words in his head and they were said with the loving chastisement that only his mother had ever truly been able to capture. He closed his eyes and stopped, inhaling the fresh air around him and breathing out again. It was rare for him to do this anymore, to hear his mother’s voice as he went about his life. He’d shut off the part that was open to her and her goodness so long ago. When he trained to confront his father, he stifled that old connection. He shut down the little voice inside his head that reminded him what was good and right. But since he’d found Emma and tried to separate himself from that old life of revenge, he was more and more susceptible to it again. That susceptibility was both beautiful and painful. On the one hand he swore he could hear his mom right now. He could picture her in his minds’ eye shaking her head at him with a smile at her lips. But he knew when he opened her eyes she wouldn’t be here. There would just be more waiting and more agonizing over what was next.

“Bloody hell, Liam, I wish you would just get here already and be done with it.”

The words were gruff as he spoke them aloud, nearly yelling with the ferocity of his agitation. He kept his eyes closed and tried to center himself again, but before he could a voice by the tree line responded to him.

“Wish granted.”

Careful not to make any sudden movements, Killian pivoted to where he heard his brother’s voice and looked at him for the first time in so many years, seeing that it was in fact Liam there, and not just some figment of his imagination.

A few seconds passed where Killian allowed himself to take his brother in, and though he was surprised at how clean cut and together Liam still seemed to be, he didn’t let any of that show. If this reunion was going to be anything like last time then he was in for a hell of a fight, but there was a real need for Killian to control himself. Even on the night he was first infected, the bite had made it so Liam was out of control and unable to resist his baser urges. To counteract that, Killian had to be smart. It was the only way to handle this and to see that he, Emma, and the rest of their friends and family were okay. Still, looking at Liam now was like a stab to the heart, for though all this time had passed, he still looked as he always had, and Killian swore he saw a mix of sadness and also love in his brother’s eyes, despite everything.

“It’s been a long time, little brother,” Liam said, filling the space between them with words that were charged in a way Killian couldn’t understand. There was no anger there. No resentment. Just longing and a little bit of pain. “You look different.”

“I am different,” Killian replied. His muscles flexed slightly, and though he hoped to hide it from Liam, Killian watched as his brother tracked the movement. Liam didn’t reply in kind though, instead siding with continued conversation as he moved a bit closer.

“Ah yes. A mate’s love will do that, or at least that’s what they tell me.”

Now Killian couldn’t help tensing up.  He didn’t like it at all that his brother had mentioned Emma, even in the abstract. It was too close for comfort, but when Killian let out a low growl, Liam only laughed. It was a barked out sound, one that made it seem like Liam hadn’t had cause to laugh in a long time, but it calmed something inside of Killian. It wasn’t threatening. If anything, Liam seemed to be enjoying himself. That was unexpected, but it didn’t feel aggressive and that was something to be grateful for.

“Relax, brother. I didn’t come here for her.”

“Then why did you come?” Killian asked, wanting to believe Liam, but knowing that the bite would change any man and that it had already started to change Liam years ago.

“So it’s like that then,” Liam sighed. “Straight to the point. No conversation after all this time? No soft landing?”

“Why bother putting it off? You’re here, and we both know why.”

“I’m not so sure we do,” Liam replied thoughtfully. “I’ve thought of this moment every day since that night. I thought of what I’d say when I saw you again, and damn if I can bring myself to say any of that now. It all seems… not enough.”

“Well why don’t we start with the basics. This control you’re displaying. Is that… permanent?”

“Much as I might like to say yes, I can’t do that. For all my flaws, lying is something I still can’t abide by.”

Killian’s stomach fell at the confession from his brother. It was confusing to say the least, because on the one hand Liam didn’t seem to be doing anything that would signal that he or his wolf wanted to fight. There was no display of dominance, no call to contest. To Killian that signaled that maybe Emma’s more wishful thinking was right. Perhaps Liam was here to make amends and to make things right, as crazy as that seemed, but confessing that he wasn’t actually in control scared Killian. He’d seen the flip switched in his brother before. It was terrible to behold and if Liam couldn’t stop it then it was only a matter of time before Killian bore witness to that beast again.

“So the sickness. You haven’t cured it?”

“No,” Liam replied, his acceptance of his condition heart wrenching to hear. “I am what I am now. A monster, a beast, an abomination: you can call me whatever you like, but the curse remains.”

Killian allowed that truth he already knew to soak in. Again he’d been hopeful, and again his hope was thwarted. Of course Liam was still burdened with this blackness. There was no escaping it, but still it killed Killian to hear it. Listening to his brother berating himself, calling himself a monster – a beast – it was terrible, and yet Killian couldn’t contradict him. He knew nothing of Liam anymore. He knew the man he had been, but what was to say that man truly remained? He appeared to be here, but appearances weren’t enough to build trust on. They couldn’t be, not when the stakes were so high.

“You never were good at covering your emotions, brother,” Liam said witfully, his eyes studying Killian intently. “I can see it all practically jumping off of you. Love. Wariness. Sadness. Fear. Crazy you stayed hidden all these years. You’d think so much energy would be easier to track.”

The mention of tracking put Killian on alert again. There was the reminder he needed that this wasn’t a one off. Liam wasn’t here for a casual visit. He’d been hunting for Killian for years and Killian had known it. He’d lived off the grid as much as he could. He never built a life, never had roots. Hell, he never had dreams of any kind for years and years to stay ahead of that search. His life had been hellish, and that hell was in no small part because there was always the threat of Liam just waiting to take him down.

“What can I say? Ruby’s a powerful witch.”

“Ah she always was. Little Red,” Liam said with another strange laugh. “Remember when we called her that as kids? God she hated that.”

Killian was thrown by the tenderness Liam displayed for Ruby. This whole exchange was honestly giving him whiplash. One moment his brother was kind and trying to connect, the next he was poking Killian with the reminders of the threat he posed. It was confounding and confusing, and it made the wolf inside scratch at the surface, trying to fight this out instead of lingering in whatever strange game Liam was playing here.

“Ruby isn’t the reason you came either. So let’s get on with it. Why are you here, Liam?”

“I’m here because I have to be. We had to meet again. You made sure of it that night.”

“I spared you that night, Liam. I…” Killian trailed off before reiterating the thought, because honestly he wasn’t so sure that’s what he’d done. Had he spared Liam? Or had he just damned his brother to so many more years of this descent into madness?

“You made a choice, a choice that speaks to who you are, brother. You could have killed me, but you didn’t. You couldn’t. It could have all been over. You could have been free, but instead you chose another path. This path, and now we have to face it.”

The ominous words hung in the field between them and Killian didn’t know what to say. Liam was right after all, at least in a way. He hadn’t been capable of killing Liam. There just wasn’t that option, and because of that there had been the risk and that sinking sensation that followed Killian all these years that they’d meet again. But while his brother was resigned and yet also strangely unreadable, Killian was resolute. Things wouldn’t end the same way twice. There were too many other people who needed protecting, and too much more to live for now than there had been years ago.

“I’m sorry, Killian. I’m sorry for that night, and for any night you’ve faced since that you worried about me. I’m more sorry than you can ever imagine. I would have done anything to spare you that.”

Wait… what?

“You’re sorry,” Killian repeated, his mind reeling from the truth he heard in Liam’s out of the blue words. “But you’ve come here to kill me.”

“So you keep suggesting,” Liam replied, his eyes taking on a little humor again.

“And what are you suggesting, Liam? I realize this is all some big game to you, but frankly I don’t want to play. I never did, so if you’ve come to fight me, fight me.”

“You know I thought this would be different, our last time together,” Liam said, his voice a wistful whisper, as it sailed across the breeze to Killian’s ears. “I should have known, even if I hoped for something more. But let me cut to the chase. I came to -,”

The snap of a branch in the woods very close to them claimed both brothers’ attention, and when Killian saw it was Tink his feelings were mixed. There was relief, but also dread. He couldn’t exactly explain why, but the reason would show itself soon enough.

“I caught a new scent in town and thought you might need backup,” Tink said, but her usual confidence was cowed in an instant when a fierce growl sounded out so loudly that it shook the ground around them.

Killian whipped his head back to look at his brother, but Liam was gone and all that remained was the beast in man’s clothing. His eyes were like coal, his face was snarled, his stance was poised for shifting. He heaved for breath, his anger rolling off of him, and just like that the nightmare Killian had been reliving for years was with him once more. Whatever had just occurred was over. The talking was done, the dancing was finished, and now it was time to face this twisted fate once and for all...

Post-Note: Okay I know I know I left this on a cliffhanger and I am terrible! BUT I have some pretty great news – the next chapter of this story is already mostly written and I will be posting it sometime in the next week! I should probably space it out more since the rest of the chapters aren’t completed yet, but trust me – you will all want to see the conclusion of what happens between Killian and Liam.  Anyway thank you all so much for your patience and your continued support. Hope you’re all doing well, and hope you’ll tune in next time!

Tag list: @jennjenn615 @kmomof4 @winterbaby89 @teamhook @ultraluckycatnd @resident-of-storybrooke @coliferoncer @artistic-writer @snowbellewells @eastside-divebar @snarkycaptainswan4 @allofdafandoms-blog

[moon-mynxie]

Thank you @kakashis-kunoichi for tagging me!

1. Nickname: people call me anna banana a lot irl. online I go by moon

2. Zodiac: scorpio

3. Height: 5' 6"

4. Hogwarts House: uh...tbh I don't know much about the hp universe but from what I've read in fan posts I'd say I'm probably a ravenclaw

5: Last thing I googled: "gangnam style" 😂

6. Favorite musicians: my music tastes vary widely but if I had to narrow it down....All That Remains, Bathory, Silverstein, Type O Negative, and Killswitch Engage

7. Song stuck in my head: DARE by Gorillaz

8. Followers: around 260

9. Following: around 400

10. Do you get asks?: rarely

11. Amount of sleep: i get a healthy amount now, about 9 hours. If you'd asked me a awhile ago it'd probably be like 5 😂

12. Lucky number: i have many 717, 11, 1111, 777, 171

13. What are you wearing?: a black front tie crop top and vintage pink polka dot pajama shorts

14. Dream job: freelance artist and writer (working toward this!)

15. Dream trip: I want to go to Japan and visit the Harajuku district! Also old castles in Europe 👀

16. Instruments: learned piano and guitar at a young age (I am much better at the former). Played keyboard for my high school marching band and I love to sing!

17. Languages: english and a little bit of spanish

18. Favorite song: no tears left to cry by ariana grande, creep by radiohead, nobody's fool by cinderella, naive by the kooks, f.c.p.r.e.m.i.x. by the fall of troy, not good enough for truth in cliché by escape the fate, between angels and insects by papa roach, ring of gold by bathory, whispers by all that remains, etc., etc., I have too many favorite songs!!!

19. Random fact: kangaroos have two vaginas

20: Aesthetic: a winding dirt road leads through fields of orchards and purple wildflowers. At its end looms a gothic, vine-covered mansion with pointed spires and rose windows. After dark, ghosts gather there to dance and reminisce while the sound of a busy highway rumbles in the distance.

I tag @mummapaintstheblues @auberghyn @scorpiusmlfoy @mrssakurahatake @thatlameginger and anyone else who sees this and wants to participate! No pressure :)

[korra-the-red-lion]

Unnatural Affairs. Chapter 9: Locker Room Ghost.

(Ally + Lyn + Michael)

Ally.

Unfortunately, I had to spend the last couple of days catching up on my schoolwork.

As it turned out, you still had to do the work even if all your classes were cancelled. After my night in the library with Lyn, I realized with sickening dread that I had forgotten to finish my assignments. So, I spent all of Thursday and Friday frantically catching up on my work.

We had to do our presentation of Miss Julie this Monday, so Michael, Mags and I spent all day Friday practicing our lines and doing the write up. I got to caught up in all the researching and ghost speaking that I nearly forgot that the whole reason why I was here was for school. Oops. Professor Kinkly didn’t seem like the kind of person who would take any kind of excuse as to why things were handed in late.

After that, I lugged myself back to my room and worked away at a paper I had for my Anthropology class. I had to write about cultural adaptions in other countries, so I picked beauty standards in Japanese culture. I was only allowed 700 words, which didn’t give me a lot of space. I wasn’t very good at limiting myself.

Sarah was back now, after she went home to visit her parents when classes were cancelled. She was typing away on her bed, also working on something. Eventually she groaned loudly and slammed her laptop shut.

“I hate my sociology class so freaking much,” she whined.

I took my ear bud out, turning my chair to face her. “What’s the issue?”

“I have to write this like, super judgy paper on underdeveloped neighbourhoods,” she complained to me, shifting on her bed until she was hanging upside down. “Except the film they made us watch a movie that was like, totally made by privileged people who like to blame people for issues they can’t control.”

I frowned in distaste as I listened. “Ugh, sorry to hear that, Sarah. That’s so frustrating. They need to update that course ASAP.”

“Right? Like, why do people blame the poor and underprivileged?” she glared at the weird stain we had on our wall.

“Probably for the same reason we don’t make things accessible for people with disabilities and chronic illnesses,” I remarked, a tinge of annoyance lacing my words. “The world is run by rich, able bodied, white assholes.”

“Valid point.”

“I have those sometimes.”

She snorted before rolling onto her stomach. “I’m going to grab something to drink. You want something?”

I shook my head. “I’m good, thanks.”

“Okay, suit yourself,” she said with a shrug. I waved her goodbye as she left before I turned my attention back to my dumb paper.

Of course, it didn’t take long for my thoughts to drift back to my conversation with Janna Kawada from a couple of days ago.

“Hey, are you the student who did an interview for the student paper about the showers?” I had asked as I approached the team who was finishing their practice from the looks of things.

She eyed me suspiciously as she took a sip from her water bottle. “Yeah. Who’s asking?”

“I’m Ally Holland, and I uh…I’m writing a paper about what happened,” I lied nervously, hoping it would work.

Janna raised her eyebrow before shrugging it off. “Whatever, I guess. What about it?”

“Do you mind just telling me exactly what you saw?”

She sighed dramatically. “I already told this all to Anna, why do I need to repeat myself? It’s in the paper.”

I swallowed hard, attempting to make myself look serious. It was a little hard when you were short and had a bit of a round face. I looked like a big child. “Please, I need to know.”

“Seriously?” She searched my face before sighing again. “I was changing after practice because I left early when I heard a bunch of screaming coming from the showers. I went over to see what the hell was going on and saw all the swim girls covered in blood. They were totally freaking out. I thought it was some shitty prank until I saw a couple of them crying. Then I looked and the showers were still spraying out the blood. That all you need?”

It was nearly identical to what she had said in the papers. I frowned, mostly in disappointment. I was hoping there was more that she had to share. “Um,” I started hesitantly.

“Yeah?”

“Was that the only thing you saw?”

She stared at me with a strange look. “Why do you ask?”

“Well…” I chewed the inside of my cheek, “the article in the paper suggested that there was more, that the team was cursed. I was just wondering if you noticed anything else that seemed strange.”

Janna was silent for a very long time. I was getting a little disheartened when she gave a shaky sigh. “Listen, I’ll tell you this but no one else hears it,” she said with a slight tremor, “got it?”

I nodded quickly, pulling my pen and notebook out. She eyed them with disdain before shaking her head.

“I thought I saw a strange face in the mirrors.” She looked around uncomfortably. “I thought it was just one of the girls, but I didn’t recognize her at all. Not that I know all those girls, but she was really hard to focus on. When I looked again, there was no one there. I just figured I imagined things since the whole situation was freaky as shit.”

I wrote this all down as quickly as possible. “Thank you, Janna! This really helps!”

“Well,” she looked at me suspiciously again, “good luck on that paper then.”

This basically confirmed to me that there was a ghost haunting the women’s locker room. I looked up at the ceiling as I completely forgot about my paper as I got deeper in thought. Since most ghosts lingered in the spot they were killed in, that meant this ghost was at the very least killed in the Athletic Centre. I thought maybe Amelia Turner was our suspect, but I wasn’t so sure. The obituary Lyn found made it sound like she committed suicide, meaning that the cause of death had to match that. It just didn’t connect in my head quite right.

I suspected that there was a different person haunting the locker room. I bit my lip, trying to piece together this puzzle. Blood showers, attacking a student, mirrors. Usually a vindictive yet harmless act, like the showers, was an indication that this ghost was trying to get attention, or so claimed the supernatural book I read the other day. An attack suggested aggression, maybe vengeance. But by all accounts, Jackie had nothing to do with this. She was a victim of circumstance more than anything else.

Maybe the ghost was losing itself? I read that it could happen to someone who was being forgotten. If a spirit still had familial attachment to this world, they were less likely to go feral. But if there was no one to remember the spirit, or in this case the soul of the person, as they once were, they lost themselves to the darkness. Was this the case here? Was the Locker Room Ghost being forgotten? If we could help them pass on peacefully, then it doesn’t matter if their last attachment to this earth forgot them. However, that meant we needed to help them soon. An angry ghost was much harder to pass on then a normal one, because they became corrupted with negative feelings.

I wasn’t sure how long I stared up at the ceiling, lost in my thoughts before my phone buzzing on my desk startled me back into existence. I nearly fell out of my chair as I scrambled to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Ally!” Michael’s voice boomed out.

I winced as I turned down my volume. “Yeah?”

“What are you up to? Are you busy?”

“Um,” I spared a guilty glance at my long-forgotten paper, “nothing. What’s up?”

“Can you text Lyn and meet me up at the pond?”

“Yeah, sure. Right now?”

“If you don’t mind!”

“No, I can,” I said glancing at the time on my laptop. I wasn’t sure if Lyn was at practice or not. I thought she usually was there for 4:30. “I’ll be there in a few. Bye.”

“Bye!” he said cheerfully before we both hung up. I sent a text to Lyn before grabbing my coat and purse.

I closed my laptop, whispering “Sorry” before heading out. I will finish that horrible paper tonight. But for now, it must remain unfinished.

XXX

Michael.

October was one of those months that made zero sense in Canada.

Yesterday it was so freaking warm that it was regretful to wear pants, but today was chilly coat weather. I didn’t know whether to blame climate change or if this was just typical of this province, but it never did this back home. Yuck.

I dropped my backpack as I sat down waiting for Ally and Lyn. I originally was going to suggest the big tree, but I kinda wanted to be away from ghosts for the time being. I had a plan tonight involving ghosts and I wanted to stay spirit free for awhile.

It wasn’t long before Ally got here. I thought it was really funny that she was wearing a coat and scarf yet refused to wear pants. Homegirl was committed to her aesthetic and I loved that. Her socks legit went all the way up her thighs, leaving only a sliver of space between her way too long coat and the top of her socks.

I grinned at her in greeting as she sat down next to me. She adjusted herself to a comfortable position.

“Lyn said she’d be a few minutes, but she couldn’t stay too long,” she explained as she loosened her scarf.

“All good. I just wanted to share this really quickly.”

She nodded as she relaxed. I poked her in the face when I noticed she was wearing her thinking face again. She looked at me confused as I shrugged in response. She rolled her eyes and leaned back. The fact that we could sit silently like this was nice. There wasn’t a lot of people I could just sit with, but Ally was one of them.

Eventually Lyn jogged over to join us. She plopped down immediately and said, “What’s up? I gotta head to the pool in like 10 minutes.”

“It won’t take long,” I promised as I reached for my bag. Ally and Lyn watched me curiously as I opened it up, digging around for a bit before I found what I was looking for. With a triumphant smile, I pulled out the bag of jewelry I got from Talia.

“Ta-dah!” I presented them with a huge grin.

Lyn reached over and picked on up gingerly. “You called us here…” she said examining it slowly, “…for some rocks?”

“Not just any rocks,” I said happily. “Special rocks!”

Ally picked one up as well, turning it over between her fingers. “These are gemstones, right?” she asked, looking at me.

“Yes!” I beamed. “I got them for protection! Those black ones are onyx, and they’re suppose to protect us from any attacks. These are for you,” I put the amethyst and onyx in Ally’s hand, “and you,” I dropped the onyx and quartz in Lyn’s.

Lyn eyed hers skeptically as Ally put on the bracelets. “Aw, thanks Michael,” she said as she examined it in the sunlight.

“How the hell did you know my ring size?” Lyn questioned as the quartz ring fit her perfectly.

“So that’s the extremely creepy part,” I said. “I didn’t realize it until I got home but somehow just by your names alone, Talia knew who you were.”

“Right.” Lyn slipped the ring off and put it in her pocket. “That is very creepy.”

“Maybe she’s a witch or something,” Ally joked.

“If you tell me that werewolves are real, I’m heading out.”

“There’s no proof that they aren’t real,” I pointed out. Lyn groaned as she pushed herself to her feet.

“Is that all? I gotta bounce otherwise.”

“Oh! One more thing!” I said quickly. “Tonight’s the full moon.”

Realization dawned on Ally’s face as Lyn looked between us to explain. I said with a wave of my arm, “Supernatural powers are enhanced by the moon. I think we should go to the locker room tonight and see if we can talk to the ghost in there.”

“Uh-huh,” Lyn said slowly as she crossed her arms. “Wouldn’t that mean the ghost will be stronger or something?”

“Yeah.”

“So, the ghost who has already proven itself as dangerous would be more powerful, and you want us to go on a ghost hunt?”

“That sounds about right to me, yeah.”

Lyn gave me a hard look. She glanced at Ally and asked, “Are you okay with this?”

Ally looked over at me, and I nodded seriously. “I can get DNA samples if we get them at their most solid.”

She nodded and turned back to Lyn. “I trust Michael. Besides, we have these for protection now,” she said, holding up her wrist. “I don’t know if any time is a good time, so now is better than waiting for another student to get hurt.”

Lyn looked between us again before sighing deeply. She threw her hands up in defeat. “Yeah, okay, sure. This is so bonkers anyway. We’ll go tonight around 11, how does that sound? I’ll even get us a key to the building, so we’ll be the only ones inside, just in case.”

“Thanks Lyn!” Ally and I chimed together, smiling at her. Lyn rolled her eyes, but her lip quirked upwards slightly before she grumbled off to practice. Ally watched her go until she made her thinking face and got lost in thought.

I gave her a couple of minutes to stew. I wasn’t kidding when I told her she’s always thinking. She must have dozens of thoughts bouncing around in that head of hers at all times. It wasn’t until I saw her draw her lip in for that thoughtful bite she always did that I poked her in the temple, drawing her back to reality.

“Whatcha thinking about, Ally?” I asked with a chuckle. “You’re making your thinking face.”

“I don’t have a thinking face,” she replied.

I laughed. “Yeah, you do.” I pulled my eyebrows together and pulled my lips in. “It looks like this.”

“You look stupid.”

“It’s your face.”

“Hey!”

“You walked into that one.”

She looked over at me for a second before she fell back with a groan. I poked her again when she didn’t say anything, causing her to groan louder. Finally, she muttered, “It doesn’t make sense.”

“What doesn’t make sense?”

Ally looked up at the waning sun. “The Locker Room Ghost.”

I fell back with her and linked my hands together over my belly. “Why doesn’t it make sense?”

“Because Lyn found another woman who died on campus, Amelia Turner. What doesn’t make sense to me is the obituary. It sounds like she died via suicide, but a locker room isn’t a place I would do that in.” Ally’s face scrunched up in frustration. “Especially young women in the 90s. I feel like the place would be more private, like a bedroom or even a bathroom. But an open space locker room where anyone could have walked in on it? That’s where the disconnect lies.”

I frowned in thought. That was actually a good point. “Gosh, Al, you’re good at this. I don’t think I would have noticed that.”

“Fat lot of good it will do,” she grumbled. “But I’m really worried that the ghost in there isn’t Amelia, which means we’re dealing with someone else entirely.”

“Did you ask Dahlia about it?”

She shook her head. “It came to me this morning. Plus, I was so focused on catching up to that stupid assignment for my Anthro class and the write up for Drama that I haven’t had time to go talk with her. Maybe I should…”

My eyes drifted absently to where I know she was residing. I shuddered slightly when I thought about the pressure that area brought on when she revealed herself. “Maybe not today,” I suggested.

Ally looked over with a question in her eyes. I propped myself up on my elbow as I faced her. “I just…it was hard to breathe when you talked to her with me. If my theory of the full moon giving them a boost is true, then she must be freaking strong right now.”

Ally hummed in thoughtful agreement as she closed her eyes. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Anyway, maybe I’m overthinking it. I could be totally off. Also, you’re not sure on the whole full moon thing?”

“Not exactly, but most of the books I read seemed to agree with the theory,” I said. “It’s worth the risk, I think.”

“I agree.”

We laid there for a little while, watching the sky get dark. I wasn’t sure what was going through Ally’s head at the moment, but I knew I was starting to feel a little anxious. I really hope that this worked out for us and that we could solve this quickly. Unfortunately, I had a bad feeling this wasn’t going to be resolved by Thanksgiving.

XXX

Lyn

“I’m heading out, Nura,” I said with a yawn. “Don’t wait up for me, ‘kay?”

“Where are you going?” Nura asked.

My hand wavered between my parka and my bomber jacket as I decided between the two. “I’m just meeting up with some friends for a bit,” I said as I grabbed the bomber and threw it on.

“A party?”

I snorted as I redid my ponytail. “You know I would never. I have a swim meet in a couple of weeks.”

“Oh right,” she chuckled. “I forgot, you don’t do that.”

“Rarely,” I said dryly. I pulled on my tattered old Converse and tied the laces tightly. “Okidoki, see ya. I’ve got my keys and phone, so seriously don’t wait up for me.”

She wished me goodbye as I closed the door behind me. I pulled my tuque from the pocket of the jacket, jamming it on my head before stepping outside. It was obnoxiously cold tonight, but I always loved the smell of Autumn air. It didn’t take me long to get to the AC, where Ally and Michael were waiting.

Michael was wearing a backpack that looked to be pretty full. I raised a brow at it, and he grinned.

“Supplies,” was all he said.

I shrugged before glancing at the darkened building and frowned. “Right, guess we’re going in.”

“Yeah,” Ally said quietly beside me.

“It’s just a ghost, yeah?”

“Hopefully.”

I looked down at her. She only offered a noncommittal shrug. Yeah, that makes me feel totally safe. I stuck my hands in my coat pockets and sighed.

“Sounds like we’re good to go,” said Michael as he headed for the front door. I reached over and grabbed his shoulder to stop him from moving forward. “Huh, what?”

I shook my head. “I forgot, but the building lights are activated by motion,” I explained.

Michael looked slightly confused, but before I could explain the issue, Ally piped up.

“That means people would know there was someone inside. Security would come by and see what’s going on.” She looked at me. “Is that correct?”

“Yup.” I started walking off. “But there’s another way in. Follow me.”

We walked around the building until we got to the back door. I knelt down in front of the door and opened my own bag. I pulled out a shoehorn. Michael and Ally both shot each other a confused look before Ally opened her mouth to ask about it. I shook my head to stop her as I turned my focus on the door.

“Don’t ask,” I muttered as I jammed it under the door. “I got into a lot of trouble when I was younger.”

Like I suspected, they didn’t lock the back door. It was something they did often. A lot of the guys who worked at the desk were on the football team, and they would leave the doors unlocked so they could sneak in to use the pool for partying. I slowly pulled it open enough that I could hook my fingers around, grinning as I did.

I stood up as I opened it wide. “After you,” I said with a mock accent, bowing to them two of them.

Once we were in, I closed the door gently just in case. I wasn’t sure if there was anyone still left inside or if the guys snuck in tonight. A Friday night pool party wasn’t an uncommon occurrence. I listened for a minute, waiting to hear the sounds of guys talking or splashing. Luckily, it seemed like we were alone for now.

“This way,” I whispered. I lead them down the hall, using the key to open the door to the weight room. The lights flickered to life as we cut through, humming softly. I unlocked the other door and ushered them through. A short walk later, and we were in the women’s locker room.

“What do you want to see first?” I asked, looking around for some supernatural signs. So far nothing, though I wasn’t even sure I’d be able to see anything.

Ally’s eyes flickered to our locker room before connecting with mine. “The mirrors, actually.”

I lead them into the bathroom. Ally walked over to the mirrors and began searching around them. Michael joined her, poking around the sinks as well. I stood off to the side, not really sure what I should do. What I did notice, however, was how freakishly cold it was in here. Don’t get me wrong, the locker room was sometimes really fucking cold, but not like this. I could see my breath in here. That freaked me out, just a little.

Ally shivered as she stepped away, her eyes searching for something that wasn’t there. She was muttering to herself under breath, little white clouds puffing out as she did. Michael had wandered into the showers to see if he could find anything interesting. I stepped closer to Ally almost unconsciously.

“Are you cold?” I asked.

“Huh?” Ally blinked, clearly knocking herself back into reality. “Oh. Yeah, a little.”

I pulled my tuque off and put it on her instead. She reached up and brushed her fingers against it lightly. She looked at me quizzically.

“You look like you need it more than me,” I said lightly.

She smiled. “Thanks.” I didn’t fail to notice the blush on her face, and I looked away, thankful for the darkened room. I felt like my ears were on fire.

Suddenly, her eyes snap back to the mirror. I froze, searching. I couldn’t see anything, but Ally started approaching the mirror cautiously.

“Ally…” Michael stepped over, his voice quivering.

“What’s going on?” I asked, trying to stop the panic that was creeping up my throat.

Ally placed her hand on the mirror, staring at nothing but clearly seeing something. “What do you mean?” she asked absently.

I don’t understand what was going on. Michael was staring at the same spot, but there wasn’t anything there. Ally was clearly having a conversation with someone.

“Why shouldn’t we be here?” Ally asked, tapping her finger against the glass. “Please, tell me.”

What the fuck…I stepped back in fear. I could feel a growing tension as the lights flickered on and off. Michael dug around his backpack before he pulled out a flashlight, turning it on. He whipped the light towards me.

“Lyn, are you wearing that ring I got you?” His voice was tight with control.

Confused, I shook my head slowly. He urged me to put it on as the lights finally settled. I slipped it on, but I didn’t notice a difference. Ally was stepping away from the mirrors, looking around panickily.

My heart was thudding in my ears as I looked around, but I’m pretty sure whatever happened was over now. Shit, I wasn’t going to be a lot of help here, was I?

“Ally, what happened?” Michael asked.

Ally was breathing quickly. She forced herself to take a deep slow breath before looking over at him. “She said we shouldn’t be here.”

“Who?” we both asked at the same time.

“I’m-” Ally glanced at the mirror in a mix of confusion and fear, “-I’m not sure.”

Oh. Cool. Cool. Coooooooool. We were already dealing with some unknown ghost and now there was potentially another fucking person to deal with? My legs were shaking but I forced myself to lean into the wall.

“Ally,” my voice cracked, “should we go?”

She looked at me, her pupils large with fear. It looked like she was racing through a ton of thoughts at once before she settled on one. She shook her head, swallowing thickly before saying, “No. I wanna see the locker room. Unless…” she hesitated, “…you guys wanna go.”

Fuck yes, I wanted to go. I was scared shitless. But some part of me, some crazy part of me, said to stay. We needed to see what happened to Jackie. So, despite the screaming protest in my head, I shook my head. “It’s this way,” I squeaked.

I brought them over to the entrance of our locker room. With a shaking hand, I punched in the passcode and opened the door. I turned on the lights so we could see. I haven’t been in here since the attack. The wall was covered in a tarp, to cover up the writing on the wall I suspected.

Michael stepped in and pulled the tarp off. I was holding my breath but released it when I saw what was there.

It was mostly gibberish. There wasn’t a coherent sentence in the words, but I did pick up a couple. Help. Death. Here. Ally pulled her phone out, taking a picture of it. Michael pulled a swab out of his pocket and ran it against the wall. He pulled out some oozing goo, which looked really fresh. He carefully put the swab in a tube with a mixed look of disgust and interest.

“Are we good to go?” I asked nervously. I had both hands over my ears, squeezing them anxiously.

“I think so,” Ally said in mild disappointment. She looked around one last time before sighing. “I guess she left.”

“Who?”

“The ghost in the mirror,” she answered. I stepped out first, waiting for them to follow after me. Michael was the last one to leave. Before I closed the door, I felt something wet drip onto my hand. I stared at it blankly, my mind not comprehending what it was. It was dark and slimy. The lights flickered as I looked up slowly.

Hanging from the ceiling was some demonic looking creature. Its eyes were glowing green in the dark, and when we made eye contact, it cracked its head all the way around before opening its toothy mouth, howling at me.

I screamed.

XXX

Ally.

I heard Lyn scream. I heard something else scream too. I looked over as she slammed the door shut. She whipped around towards me and Michael, shoving us forward.

“What was that?!” I asked frantically.

“I-I-I have no fucking i-idea! Lyn stammered out, looking behind her shoulder. An arm punched through the door, ripping a hole as it retracted.

A head poked out. The face was distorted and inhuman. Bloody salvia dripped down its face as it linked eyes with us. It howled again as it dragged its body through the hole it made. It was human shaped but wasn’t at the same time. The limbs were disjointed, the torso large and barreled shaped. But something really stuck out to me.

Those eyes looked so sad and lost.

It jumped at us, but we managed to turn the corner before it hit us. “This way!” Lyn yelled, running down the hallway we came up from.

Michael pulled a bag out of his pocket and threw it at the monster. It screeched in pain as it reeled back. It clawed at its face, blood spraying as it tore into flesh.

“What was that?” I asked as we ran.

“Salt!” he cried.

Oh, that made sense. I should have brought some. It only slowed it down a little bit, before it launched itself at us again. This hallway seemed for much longer the second time around. It felt like we ran forever and ever as it stretched in front of us. Was what going on? I tried to think about all the books I was reading before this, but my mind was coming up blank. It took a swipe at us, howling in pain. Lyn shoved me to the floor as the claws raked her arm. Blood sprayed in an arc as she shouted in shock and pain.

“Lyn!” I said as I scrambled to my feet. “Are you okay!”

“I’m fine!” she gritted her teeth. She held her arm, blood oozing through her fingers. “Michael, do you have more salt?”

Michael watched the beast approached us with horror. His eyes flickered to her before nodding. “Two bags left.”

“Hold it off for a minute,” she growled. She plunged into the weight room as the beast reared up on its haunches, taking another swipe at us.

We both ducked to avoid having our heads be taken off. Michael threw some of the salt on the floor and tossed the rest at the monster. It screamed in frustration and pain as its flesh burned from the salt. I screamed as it reached over for us, its clawed hand grabbing me and lifting me into the air. It knocked Michael aside, knocking his head into the wall. He slumped to the floor boneless.

“Michael!” I shrieked. I wiggled against the grasp, but I could barely move. “Lyn!”

The monster yowled in my face, spittle and blood splattering me all over. I winced, trying to get away. It did it again, squeezing me tightly. I whimpered as I felt my bones creaking, unable to draw a full breath of air.

“ARRRGGHHHH!!” Lyn roared as she ran over. She swung a weighted bar like a bat, smashing it against the arm of the beast.

I fell to the floor as it roared in agony. Lyn swung again, hitting it in the face this time. It smashed into the wall, writhing in pain. Lyn reached down and helped me to my feet. She was breathing heavily as she backed up.

“Is Michael…?”

I shook my head. “Just knocked out.”

“Are you able to lift him?” She eyed the monster as it pushed itself out of the wall. I shook my head again. “Fuck…okay. Ally, hand me that last bag.”

I reached over and took the salt off of Michael, who groaned in pain. I muttered an apology to him as I shoved the salt in her hand. Lyn took the salt and rubbed a bunch of it over the weighted bar. She shouted as she swung it, hitting the monster one last time before she dropped it on it, pining it place.

She scrambled back as it shrieked so loudly that the overhead lights shattered. “That’s not going to last!!”

Together, we hoisted Michael over her shoulders and made a mad dash to the door. I pushed it open, and we ran outside, the cold air feeling like a blessing on my sweating face. We kept running until we were far enough way to feel safe.

I spared a fearful look at the Athletic Centre, but the demonic beast hadn’t followed us. I collapsed to the ground, my tears mixing with my sweat. I shook uncontrollably as Lyn laid Michael down gently and sunk to the ground herself.

My breathing was getting shorter and catching as I tried to take in air. My vision was spotty as I brought a trembling hand to my face, trying to get the blood off. Lyn must have grabbed my hand, but I wasn’t sure when.

“Ally, can you hear me?” she asked calmly.

I looked over at her. I think I nodded.

“Okay. What are five things you can see?” Her voice sounded so muffled.

“F-five things?” I hiccupped.

She nodded. I blinked a couple of times, trying to refocus. “M-Michael. Grass. You. Lamppost. S-scoreboard.”

“Okay, good,” she smiled softly, turning my gaze back on her. “Now four things you can feel.”

“G-grass.” I shakily raised my hand to brush her hand. “Your hand. The b-b-breeze. My leg.”

“You’re doing great,” she murmured. “Can you list three things you can hear?”

My breathing was slowing down a little, allowing me to take deeper breaths. I nodded to answer her question. “Michael groaning. The bugs.” I locked eyes with her now. “You.”

Lyn’s eyes shone with something as she nodded. “Yup. Two things you can smell?”

I took a deep breath through my nose. As I did, Michael had rolled over and vomited all over the grass. My face scrunched out a little in disgust. “Vomit…shea butter?”

“My lotion,” Lyn chuckled softly. “Can you tell me one thing you can taste?”

I shook my head. My mouth felt extremely dry and sandpapery. Lyn reached into the non tattered pocket of her jacket and pulled out a candy. Her hands shook as she unwrapped it. She pressed it against my lips, which I parted slightly so it would go in.

After a couple of seconds of sucking on it, I said quietly, “Caramel.”

“How do you feel now?” she asked hesitantly.

“A b-bit better,” I took another deep breath. “Thank you.”

She nodded. “We needed to get going,” she tried pushing herself up, only to wince and gasp in pain. We both forgot about her arm in the heat of the moment. She fell back, pressing her hand against the wound.

“Is everyone alive?” Michael asked groggily, his face in the grass. At least he scooted away from the vomit spot.

“Yeah,” I answered. I was still shaking, my head was still pounding, but I could breathe. I looked over at the building again, but I didn’t sense any negative energy coming from there. What was that thing? Was that a vengeful spirit? If it was…that wasn’t what I expected.

I shook my head, forcing myself to refocus. Lyn and Michael needed medical attention, and my panic attack wasn’t completely dealt with. I shakily got to my feet, fighting a wave of nausea. Once I was sure I wasn’t going to fall over, I helped Lyn to her feet too. Together we lifted Michael up, my heart sinking when I heard Lyn hiss in pain.

“Are you okay?” I asked concerned.

“I will be,” she said through gritted teeth. There was a sheet of sweat on her face and she was shaking way more now. “The adrenaline is just wearing off now.”

I didn’t completely buy it, but we needed to get Michael help. I was pretty sure he was concussed. I bit my lip, regretting that as soon as I did because there was blood on it. I spat on the ground. “Okay, where do we go? The hospital I guess?”

Lyn frowned. “They’ll ask questions, but it makes the most sense…”

I silently agreed with her. I didn’t want them to ask what happened, but we had very limited choices. Why couldn’t life be like books and TV? Heroes always get these wild injuries that magically were fine a couple hours later. Oliver probably should have died like 7 times an episode in the early seasons of Arrow, but he always turned out fine. Totally unfair.

The only major issue is we had no way to get there unless we walked. I wasn’t sure any of us were going to be able to make it there without passing out. Lyn sighed through her nose as she looked around in thought. “Fuuuuck, okay. I’ll call someone.”

“Who?”

“That’s the question,” she muttered. She pulled out her phone and dialled. “Olivia, hey. Can you pick me up?”

Lyn’s face dropped as she listened to the person on the other end for a few agonizing minutes. “Liv, okay. Yeah, hmm. Fuck, okay, I’ll come home Thanksgiving. I just need you to drive me and my friends to the hospital, no questions asked.” She rolled her eyes as she huffed in annoyance. “No, don’t tell mum and dad. Thank you.” She hung up without saying bye, dropping her injured arm with a groan.

I wanted to ask who that was, but I was able to put the pieces together. I adjusted Michael, who was starting to stand on his own power a little bit more. “Should we just wait here?”

Lyn nodded sullenly. “Yeah, my sister is coming to pick us up. We might as well sit while we wait.”

She lightly settled back on the ground, making sure Michael was comfortable first. I sat next to her and put my head on her shoulder. She stiffened slightly at the contact before slowly relaxing. It was so strange to think that we could be sitting here rather serenely even though we just avoided death not too long ago.

I guess life does always move on, even through tragedy.

[chocolatea-studies-blog]

it’s a bird it’s a plane no it’s a questions tag owyes

Thanks to @effxvescience for tagging me ur great ily

LAST:

1. drink: orange juice

2. phone call: my classmates, few days ago (I was proofreading her essay)

3.text message: one of my closest friends, this morning (I sent her a meme)

4. song you listened to: You by Dodie Clark

5. time you cried: a while ago because I had a performance and I had to cry

HAVE YOU:

6. dated someone twice: no

7. kissed someone & regretted it: naw

8. been cheated on: nuh-uh

9. lost someone special: yezz

10: been depressed: nope

11. gotten drunk & thrown up: minors represent™

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS

12. Pastel purple

13. Pastel blue

14. Pastel yellow

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. made new friends: yisyis

16. fallen out of love: was never in love in the first place :P

17. laughed until you cried: ye

18. found out someone was talking about you: yess

19. met someone who changed you: yeboi

20. found out who your friends are: ya

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: my... parents

GENERAL:

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them

23. do you have any pets: i had a fish once but he ded

24. do you want to change your name: nah

25. what did you do for your last birthday: did homework at Shakey’s

26. what time did you wake up: 5 AM

27. what were you doing a midnight last night: sleeping

28. name something you can’t wait for: Christmas

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: 5 days ago, she went and visited her relatives in america yeet

30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my grades

31. what are you listening to right now: Dodie Clark

32. have you have talked to a person named tom: no???

33. something that is getting on your nerves: the state of my country :P

34. most visited websites: tumblr & facebook

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME:

35. mole(s): a small one on my left cheek

36. mark(s): a burn mark on the skin where my pointer finger and thumb meet

37. childhood dream: work at Disneyland lol

38. hair colour: black

39. long or short hair: i mean it’s bellow the shoulder i think that’s short idk

40. do you have a crush on someone: yeboi

41. what do you like about yourself: my current study habits

42. piercings: two on both ears for earrings and stuff

43. blood type: B (idk if it’s positive or negative)

44. nickname: yall can call me ysa

45. relationship status: in love with fictional characters ty very much

46. zodiac: leo

47. pronouns: she/her

48. favourite tv show: watching voltron legendary defenders rn it’s gr88

49. tattoos: none

50. right or left handed: right

51. surgery: naw

52. hair dyed different colour: mom would kill me so no

53. sport: hahahhahah no

54. no question?

55. vacation: i wish

56. pair of trainers: converse

MORE GENERAL:

57. eating: bread with whipped cream and choco syrup (don’t judge me :P)

58. drinking: nothing

59. i’m about to: do homework

60. waiting for: the weekend and mom to come back from ‘murica

61. want: to rest but then school is important too 

62. get married: as of now, no

63. career: i have no idea amen

64. hugs or kisses: hugs

66. shorter or taller: taller so that piggy-back rides are possible

67. older or younger: older

68. nice arms or nice stomach: both

69. sensitive or loud: both

70. hook up or relationship: relationship

71. troublemaker or hesitant: both

HAVE YOU EVER:

72. kissed a stranger: no

73. drank hard liquor: uhh no

74. lost glasses/contact lenses: don’t wear them

75. turned someone down: no one’s asked me ??

76. sex on first date: how about no

77. broken someone’s heart: relationship-wise i think not

78. had your heart broken: when cheritz said v’s route would come out in august but then it got delayed

79. been arrested: i am a responsible citizen excuse you

80. cried when someone died: yisyis

81. fallen for a friend: nope

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

82. yourself: yeboi

83. miracles: yeet

84. love at first sight: naw

85. santa claus: yes bc rise of the guardians TOUCHED ME

86. kiss on first date: don’t prefer it pls no

OTHER:

87. current best friend name: i have three rlly close friends (who will be dubbed as sheryl, sophia, and anna)

88. eye colour: dark brown

89. favourite movie: Hidden Figures it’s a blessing

cool beans I herby tag @chopinstudy, @aralbella, and any other studyblr who needs content to post i love yall

[stuckonserotonin]

Do all the questions 😏

1. selfie - check my face tag!2. what would you name your future kids? - i’m not sure yet!3. do you miss anyone? - yes4. what are you looking forward to? - seeing a person5. is there anyone who can always make you smile? - yes6. is it hard for you to get over someone? - if i really care about them yes7. what was your life like last year? - 2016? it was pretty good8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? - probably9. who did you last see in person? - Brittany10. are you good at hiding your feelings? - nope11. are you listening to music right now? - nope12. what is something you want right now? - a person13. how do you feel right now? - good14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you? - i have no clue15. personality description - in the words of anna “loyal, optimistic, selfless, hopeful, passionate”16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t? - yes17. opinion on insecurities. - i have many and as humans, it’s basically normal, but don’t let them get in the way of anything18. do you miss how things were a year ago? - nope19. have you ever been to New York? - yes20. what is your favourite song at the moment? - whatever happened by elijah blake21. age and birthday? - 20 and June 2422. description of crush. - beautiful, happy, athletic, encouraging, loving, weird, funny, my best friend23. fear(s) - whales, deep water, butterflies24. height - 5′625. role model - my boss26. idol(s) - Tori Kelly27. things i hate - really negative people28. i’ll love you if…- you buy me chicken29. favourite film(s) - Mulan30. favourite tv show(s) - Grey’s, Bones, Friends31. 3 random facts - my family used to own a castle in Scotland, i had a disease when i was 5 that makes my joints horrible, i was once sunburned so badly that i seriously could not walk32. are your friends mainly girls or guys? - girls33. something you want to learn - different cultures, spanish, italian34. most embarrassing moment - i got mad one day my senior year in HS and slammed a basketball down but then it came back and hit me in the face35. favourite subject - english36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill? - graduate grad school, get married to someone who makes me really happy, travel to Europe37. favourite actor/actress - Sara Ramirez38. favourite comedian(s) - Ellen Degeneres39. favourite sport(s) - basketball40. favourite memory - the Women’s March in DC41. relationship status - single but not looking at anyone except one person in specific who makes me real fuckin happy42. favourite book(s) - HP series!43. favourite song ever - No Scrubs44. age you get mistaken for - 16 hahahhahahahahahha45. how you found out about your idol - media46. what my last text message says - i am so confused47. turn ons - a person48. turn offs - people who aren’t that person49. where i want to be right now - florida with my fam50. favourite picture of your idol - i have no clue haha51. starsign - cancer!52. something i’m talented at - uh writing? drawing?53. 5 things that make me happy - my friends, basketball, my job, my interventions class, music54. something thats worrying me at the moment - not getting my fucking paper done on time lmao55. tumblr friends - @place0fperfecti0n and @saltwaterandroses56. favourite food(s) - chickennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn57. favourite animal(s) - elephant58. description of my best friend - looks like a lil fag, always there for me, annoys the shit out of me, loves to talk about shit she shouldn’t in public59. why i joined tumblr - honestly don’t know i made it so long ago60. ask me anything you want - u didn’t ask me anything but hi friend