#Angua x carrot

[twasjane]

So, yeah, y'know that bit in the Fifth Elephant where Angua makes Carrot promise he would be the one to kill her if she ever became like her brother Wolfgang?

So.

There's a line in Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man that I think Terry Pratchett was referencing either directly from that Universal monster classic or because it also comes up in again in American Werewolf in London*.

“He must be killed by a silver bullet; fired by the hand of someone who loves him enough to understand.”

Oh fuck. The only way to end a werewolf's suffering is at the hands of someone who loves them. Someone who knows they are beyond saving.

God it hurts so good.

*David in American Werewolf in London wrongly attributes the sentiment to The Wolf Man

[mywingsareonwheels]

In which I get very feral about Angua von Uberwald, as I sometimes do

(Below is a quote from The Fifth Elephant, it contains some spoilers...)

""Carrot! I've got to know something."

"Yes?"

"That might happen to me. Have you ever thought about that? He was my brother, after all. Being two things at the same time, and never quite being one... we're not the most stable of creatures."

"Gold and muck come out of the same shaft," said Carrot.

"That's just a dwarf saying!"

"It"s true, though. You're not him."

"Well, if it happened... if it did... would you do what Vimes did? Carrot? Would it be you who picked up a weapon and came after me? I know you won't lie. I've got to know. Would it be you?"

A little snow slid down from the trees. The wolves watched. Carrot looked up for a moment at the grey sky and then nodded.

"Yes."

She sighed. "Promise?" she said." * * * * * * * * * * *

PRATCHETT HOW ABSOLUTELY DARE YOU.

How am I supposed to be normal about Angua, the most all-round competent pretty much of all the Watch (and definitely the most alarming fighter), cynical and self-aware and judgemental and brilliant and passionately loyal and very compassionate at times, saying that to her boyfriend. An intensely idealistic and kind and simple and terrifyingly (no, truly terrifyingly) good man. It's implied that their relationship has an inevitable slight d/s-y element, because anything halfway between a human and a wolf is rather a dog, and she is absolutely aware that when he calls, she will come running. Even while she is continually the only person (other than Vimes) who gets seriously snarky about him and isn't easily influenced by his extreme levels of charisma.

And her sheer damn relief in this scene. They've just buried her other love interest, who died trying to save Carrot from Angua's horrifying brother Wolfgang. And Carrot's the only person she trusts this much. This is just the absolute classic monster x human relationship, there is so much going on with them over the course of the several books in which they both appear (though this is the one in which they are both the most in focus) and I am still waiting for any adaptation to do it full justice.

I do not usually get this intense about any m/f relationship, but FUCK.

I also note: we learn in The Fifth Elephant that Angua has another brother who is unable to change shape to looking like a human, and who got out of the family (and away from Wolfgang) too, to work as a sheepdog in Borogravia, where he wins prizes at agricultural shows. Carrot is clearly deeply proud of potentially having a prize-winning sheepdog brother-in-law. Angua finds this extremely irritating. :D

But Vimes and Angua are based in Borogravia in Monstrous Regiment, only a few books later, so I am working on the assumption that Angua visited Andreyi while she was there. :) :) :) I hope they had a good time together. I also wonder whether his human shepherd boss has any idea of his species. :D (I bet Granny Aching would have worked it out, but Granny Aching doesn't live in Borogravia. ;-) )

[stupidphototricks]

Warning: Spoilers about Angua and Carrot in Feet of Clay

I remember this from when I read Feet of Clay before, and it's still true: I was disappointed that Angua changed her mind about leaving. It seemed like a cop-out, and out of character. Moreover, she didn't even talk to Carrot about any of what was bothering her.

And yet... and yet... you couldn't help liking Carrot. Even people he was arresting liked Carrot. -- Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

I've seen it posited that Carrot is autistic, and after some thought I agree with that assessment. But it's an unusual presentation of autism because one of his special interests (along with dwarf bread) is, like, everybody. He wants to know all about people. He remembers everything they tell him. He makes them feel seen. He's about as far from the stereotypically socially awkward neurodivergent person as you can get. He's superhumanly friendly and social and well-adjusted. How could you not like him?

That's just it. He cares for everyone. He cares about everything. He cares indiscriminately. He knows everything about everyone because everyone interests him, and the caring is all general and never personal. He doesn't think personal is the same as important. If only he had some decent human quality, like selfishness. I'm sure he doesn't think about it that way, but you can tell the werewolf thing is upsetting him underneath. He cares about the things people say behind my back, and he doesn't know how to deal with them. Maybe it would work if we were just alone somewhere, but if I said, "It's me or the city," he wouldn't even see there was a choice. -- Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

Unless you're his girlfriend, and you're basically competing for his attention with not only everyone else in the city, but everything else in the city, and his job, and the city itself? And complaining about that would just make you sound petty and controlling? He's the World's Nicest Person, you don't deserve to be with him, how can you fault him for anything?

"You're being reasonable again!" snapped Angua. "You're deliberately seeing everyone's point of view! Can't you try to be unfair even once?" -- Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

It would be frustrating. I would be frustrated. If you're in a relationship, you should be able to expect your partner to put you first at least sometimes, at least when it's really important to you, without having to ask. And Angua is proud and independent and secretly has low self-esteem, and she will never ask. But she would like to feel that she matters a little more than everyone and everything else, to Carrot. She deserves to feel that with someone.

I'll have to go, Angua thought as they strolled on down the street. Sooner or later, he'll see that it can't really work out. Werewolves and humans... we've both got too much to lose. Sooner or later I'll have to leave him. But, for one day at a time, let it be tomorrow. -- Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay

It's not that she's a werewolf and he's a human raised as a dwarf, although that's not a great place to start. It's the even more fundamental differences. It's Carrot being logic and Angua being emotion. It's Carrot being rules and Angua being instincts. It's neither of them knowing how to really communicate. It's neither of them recognizing what the problems actually are between them, or even admitting to each other that there are problems.

I very much like Angua and Carrot, separately and together. But I understand why Sir Terry took the focus off this pairing in later books. There wasn't anyplace else to go; he'd written himself into a corner with them. They couldn't possibly last or move forward, as they were, but the audience would object if they broke up or if either of them changed.

So maybe they're still together, in the Discworld universe, taking it one day at a time. It wouldn't be a bad ever-after. However my fondest literary hope would be that now they're happily married to their soulmates, and best friends with each other.

[asparklethatisblue]

A Dwarf by adoption walks into a bar…

[tofiam]

Awwww <3 I absolutely love that! It's perfectly capturing the feelings!

Also, right Sybil! I love her! This is so great!

And Rufus! Rufus dancing with Havelock!

Are those Tonker and Lofty?

I can live happily with this fanart!

it’s been too long since i did anything discworld

and a couple of smooches i didn’t want to lineart:

[noirandchocolate]

Discworld Fight Club 2023 Masterpost

Welcome to the biggest rumble the Disc has ever seen! Thrill as some of the turtle's premier brawlers, assassins, vampires, magic users, and tricksters face off in a five-round tournament to see who's the best of the best!

But first, please read the Rules:

Remember to vote based on who you think would win in a fight, not necessarily who is your favorite character. This is a tournament, not a popularity contest!

These fighters are good guys and shouldn't really bear any real animus toward each other, so consider this a more or less friendly event where no one is literally trying to murder anyone. So, when considering what weapons and techniques a character might use, think more in terms of how they'd incapacitate one another. That might involve using weaponry of course, but like, maybe Detritus shouldn't have access to the Piecemaker, is the kind of thing I mean, ha.

A contestant can win by knocking their opponent out, making them 'say uncle' so to speak, or even tricking them somehow! Think about the characters' strengths beyond, well, physical strength!

Successfully running away counts as a victory for the runner, not as a default win for the contestant left behind.

Reblogging and replying to the polls, especially with commentary on your reasoning for your vote, would be super fun and I hope a lot of people will do that! I tried to seed the bracket so the matchups are interesting, and I think there's some room for debate on a lot of them even at the start. Have fun!

So without further ado, let's have Discworld Fight Club 2023!

This will be updated as the rounds progress, with links to each poll. Winners on each match are in bold.

Round 1:

Part A-- Match 1: Commander Samuel Vimes vs. Maladict Match 2: Moist von Lipwig vs. Dr. Whiteface Match 3: Ghenghiz Cohen vs. Reg Shoe Match 4: Mrs. Erzulie Gogol vs. Rob Anybody Feegle Match 5: Detritus vs. the Dean of Pentacles Match 6: Esmerelda "Granny" Weatherwax vs. Susan Sto Helit Match 7: Mr. Nutt vs. Harry King Match 8: The Librarian vs. Queen Magrat Garlick

Part B--

Match 1: Lord Havelock Vetinari vs. Willikins Match 2: Adora Belle Dearheart vs. Mr. Pump Match 3: Gytha "Nanny" Ogg vs. Sergeant Cheery Littlebottom Match 4: Lu-Tze vs. Otto Chriek Match 5: Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully vs. Polly Perks Match 6: Jason Ogg vs. Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson Match 7: Sergeant Angua von Uberwald vs. Rincewind Match 8: Agnes "Perdita X Dream" Nitt vs. Sergeant Jack Jackrum

Round 2:

Match 1: Commander Samuel Vimes vs. Moist von Lipwig Match 2: Ghenghiz Cohen the Barbarian vs. Rob Anybody Feegle Match 3: Esmerelda "Granny" Weatherwax vs. Detritus Match 4: Mr. Nutt vs. the Librarian Match 5: Lord Havelock Vetinari vs. Adora Belle Dearheart Match 6: Gytha "Nanny" Ogg vs. Lu-Tze Match 7: Archancellor Mustrum Ridcully vs. Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson Match 8: Sergeant Angua von Uberwald vs. Sergeant Jack Jackrum

Round 3:

Match 1: Commander Samuel Vimes vs. Rob Anybody Feegle Match 2: Esmerelda "Granny" Weatherwax vs. the Librarian Match 3: Lord Havelock Vetinari vs. Gytha "Nanny" Ogg Match 4: Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson vs. Sergeant Angua von Uberwald

Round 4:

Match 1: Commander Samuel Vimes vs. Esmerelda "Granny" Weatherwax Match 2: Gytha "Nanny" Ogg vs. Sergeant Angua von Uberwald

Round 5:

Final: Esmerelda "Granny" Weatherwax vs. Gytha "Nanny" Ogg

Granny Weatherwax has taken the title!! Thanks for participating, everyone! It's been a really fun week of battles, just as I'd hoped! And it's all thanks to you guys, for voting and commenting some pretty insightful and funny stuff! I definitely encourage everybody to go into the match links above and check out the notes if they haven't been doing so all along.

And thus ends Discworld Fight Club 2023!

[ode-to-fury]

Discworld x Baldur’s Gate 3 crossover because Discworld crossovers are literally the best thing ever

Can you just imagine Gale and Ponder in the same room. Gale and Ridcully in the same room? Gale and Granny in the same room? Gale and NANNY in the same room??

Wyll trying to out hero Carrot and just failing absolutely miserably. Karlach and Carrot getting on like a house on fire. Astarion and Otto meeting each other and Astarion just being the Worst influence on him. Shadowheart, Adora and Angua being immediate best friends

I could go on and on but also Sam Vimes trying to deal with literally any of the origin characters would be the best

[klinefelterrible]

Here's a little note for later for me to remember: Vimes lying in Vetinari's bed, hazing after getting fucked so hard and Havelock hearing a discreet knocking on the door and saying "ah, sir Vimes, I believe it's almost the time to get a quick shower, dress up and get to your house to Read Young Sam A Book" and Vimes grabbing his hand in this romantic understanding gesture of being there and actually getting it and he's slowly descending into the ground level and going to shower their sweat and bodily fluids away and go back to his loving wife and son and watch and everything and down there stays Patrician's carriage coach waiting for Commander Vimes as it will be unwise and uncomfortable to run after getting dicked so hard, also tomorrow is going to be another day for running around the city of ankh morpork

And he goes by this black coach and Angua of course sits in her dog form by his leg, as she always does every time Vimes takes Vetinari's coach for reasons known only to herself

And the coach driver rider never says a word but vimes knows that he could throw a knife at a fly and shave her butt if he wanted to

And Sybil is sooo supportive of her husband and her friend Havelock and she's so happy for them and never gets jealous about it

And NOONE in watch would dare to even smirk at him but most of the important ones know

And when the coach goes back Sally enters it in her stripper heels and Angua salivates herself so hard she runs away and fucks carrot wildly - or Sally catches up to her and gives her some Regina x Emma vibes

And Vetinari sings a little song under the shower and looks at the painting of lilacs and lies in fresh sheets but keeps the previous soaking wet sheets from their juices by his pillow and inhales deeply

And he dreams about giving head to Vimes during some official work meetings, but in the meantime, or in the bushes or something - fantasies he wouldn't ever let become reality but what the hell

And he has a candid blurry picture (of Vimes in ripped fishnets and stiletto heels) given to him by Sybil when she was voyeuring Sam when he was trying them out

[cipher-of-the-round-table]

Started with Guards! Guards!, fell in love.

It consumes me.

Don't ship, but you can see shadows emerge, matching together from different fabrics, miles divorced, things that shouldn’t connect, yet do.

Anyway Carrot x Angua has the same vibes as Silvaze and you know I'm right.

Where are my Discworld binches at?

Anybody else out there accidentally read Moving Pictures twice because 10 years had gone by and you forgot but when you realized your mistake you went ahead and re-read (well, listened) it again because it's one of the funniest pieces of literature ever written?

Anybody else take like 3 or 4 books before you figured out some physical feature a character has because you may have read some of them out of order and 99% of character descriptions are in the form of rapid-fire metaphors?

Who's your favorite ships? Best gags? Would you try the sausages?

[catharsis-in-a-bottle]

transfem carrot x transmasc butch angua

[penna-nomen]

for the "never have I ever" asks!

Have you ever written fantasy au's or fantasy fanfic?

(I mean I guess I could just stalk your ao3 hahaha but thought I would ask anyway! 😂)

Fun question! Thanks for the ask @thesymphonytrue

For fantasy AUs:

I'm currently writing a White Collar story set in a Snow White setting.

I also wrote a White Collar x Good Omens crossover in which Neal is a demon: What Fools These Mortals Be. ~2500 words

For fantasy fanfic, I've written a handful of stories in the Discworld, the Good Omens, The Good Place fandoms. A few highlights:

Dragon's Egg Blue: ~11K words in the Discworld fandom. Carrot and Angua deal with a baby dragon when Lady Sybil is away.

The Book Place: ~1000 words, The Good Place x Good Omens crossover in which Chidi asks to meet an angel.

And honorable mention to Universal Truths of Time Travel, a ~1800 word Doctor Who x Pride & Prejudice crossover. It's time travel gone wrong, where the Doctor wanted to visit Jane Austen but instead ended up in a universe that consists of every variation ever written or imagined of P&P, so it's less science and more fantastical.

[twasjane]

Stuff that's canon to my favourite Discworld characters that I forget then remember in a way that makes my brain go buzz.

Carrot got Angua a handmade watch for her birthday that turns with the phases of the moon that she wears on her collar (Thud).

She almost definitely bites him during sex (I Shall Wear Midnight).

Sally plays the cello (Thud).

I'll add more as I think of them.

[etriva]

#why is no one saying anything about carrot/angua ship #being fresh and exquisite in the new queer lights shed by this galaxy brain theory? (x)

Ok, this is a little niche, but I have a theory for all you Discworld fans. Why doesnt Carrot have a beard?

A few facts to start with:

1. All Dwarves have beards.

2. Carrot is, culturally, a dwarf. He sees himself as a dwarf and other dwarfs accept him as such. (He’s just a very tall dwarf.)

So why would Carrot NOT have a beard, if all Dwarves have beards and Carrot is a dwarf? Would he choose to shave? Why? He wouldnt, right? Is there some reason he CANT grow a beard?

Another fact to remember about Disc Dwarfs:

All Dwarves are raised as men. Regardless of their biological sex and whether they are XX or XY, they are men, they use he/him pronouns, etc. (The fact that some dwarves have begun to identify and present as women is very recent in Disc history after all, and not all XX dwarves identify or present as women)

So, follow me here- the Dwarves in the mountain find a human baby. Regardless of that baby’s biological sex, they would be raised as a dwarf boy/man, yeah?

So…. may I present the theory- the reason that Carrot, a dwarf man, has no beard is because, you following, he is biologically an XX human. The fact that he cant grow a beard doesnt make him less of a dwarf man than the fact that he is 6+ feet tall.

[arlome]

Top 5 ships?

Oooooo, nice one!

1. Jack Robinson and Phryne Fisher - Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries.

2. Anne Elliot and Captain Frederick Wentworth - Persuasion.

3. Dwight Enys and Caroline Penvenen - Poldark.

4. Angua and Carrot - Discworld.

5. Chloe Decker and Lucifer Morningstar - Lucifer.

I have more, of course, but you asked for five :D

Thank you for the ask!

[the-swift-tricker]

[flaggermousseart]

An apparent murder scene turns out to be something ... slightly different.