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imyourbratzdoll · 2 years ago

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𝒉𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒉 𝒏𝒐 𝒇𝒖𝒓𝒚 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒂 ��𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏 𝒔𝒄𝒐𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒅

I'm already deciding on part 3, so don't bother asking for it! do feel free to send in suggestions, characters for her to end up with, etc.

find part 1 here.

summary - after your breakup with steve, you change, no longer wanting to deal with your emotions. after months of your team not hearing from or seeing you, they decide to track you down.

warning - angst, death.

the gif and header I use aren't mine.

Warnings and Reminders - Please do not plagiarise, copy, repost/republish, adapt, or translate any of my work on any social media platforms, apps, or third-party sites. The only platforms I post my work on are: Tumblr and Wattpad. I do not own any character of any franchise (Marvel etc.) All my works are fiction and may be dark or triggering content: READ ALL WARNINGS BEFORE PROCEEDING.

The Avengers were worried. Your friends and family were concerned. Hell, even your asshole of an ex was worried. It has been months since anyone had seen or heard from you, not since the day of the gathering. The house you and Steve used to live in was burnt to a crisp. Nothing was left. You had just disappeared. Steve ended up getting a couple of bruises and some broken bones that healed from your friends. They knew he was the reason for this.

You stood there, covered in blood and surrounded by dead bodies. You had been minding your own business, wanting to grab some food and return to your cabin, but these men. Oh, these men. Why did they have to think they were better than you? Why couldn’t they have minded their own business and left you alone? Was their entire species built on invading a woman’s life? Could they not just fuck off. You were so annoyed, looking around at the pathetic beings that lay bloody and lifeless. “Men.” You growl quietly before bending down to grab your bags full of food and return to where you call home. You guess this could be a time to think about everything you have done and that has happened.

Sure, burning your house down was probably a bit over the top. But you wanted to get rid of the memory of Steve, and that was the only thing you could think of at the time. Some may call you childish or crazy for how you dealt with your emotions, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care anymore. You had spent years in a relationship with a man who was stuck in the past, who had thought you were only meant to cook, clean and bear his children. Steve didn’t really love you, he just wanted to use you, and it took him behaving like a child and throwing a tantrum for you to see he wasn’t meant for you.

It doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun. In the end, you did love him. He did have a piece of your heart. The woman inside of you was grieving and hurting. She begged you to forgive him, make him see you were meant for him. But you were stronger than her. You know that no man could ever treat you like that. You know he wasn’t right for you, and you were on a war path. You groaned as you walked up the stairs and onto your porch. Making your way into your house, you walk past everything and to the kitchen, where you place the bags down. “Hello, people who do not live here.” You hum, facing your old team members, who look shocked as you are covered in blood.

“Y/n?” Nat steps forward, looking you up and down, trying to determine if the blood is yours. You nod, digging into the bag and pulling out your food. You reach over and grab a fork as you begin to dig in.

“That’s my name.” You give a sarcastic smile, chewing on your food. Your eyes move over everyone before focusing on your ex. “What’s he doing here? I thought you were too busy finding someone else to put up with your shit? Ya know…” You jump up onto the counter, swinging your legs as you glare. “Someone who would make a better mother than I would.” You smile before stuffing more food into your mouth, humming at its taste.

Tony tilts his head, making his way over to you, unafraid. “You’ve changed.” His eyes move over your face, and yours connect with him. He smiles. “I like it.” He pulls you into a hug, “I missed you, kid.” You smile, patting his back.

“Missed you too, dumbass.” He pulls back, and the rest of the Avengers make their way over to hug you, letting you know how much they’ve missed you and how worried they’ve been. “So… Whatcha doing here? I won’t ask how you found me because that’d be a stupid question.”

“As we said, we were worried.” Nat tilts her head, “were you attacked?” You shrug, chewing your food more. “Y/n?”

“Sorta, I guess? I don’t know. Men don’t know how to mind their business.” Your focus moves to the container in your hand, barely noticing the looks they give each other. “Yes, I killed them, and it’s not that big of a deal.”

“Not that big of a deal?! You murdered people! See, this is why I said what I said.” Steve growls, staring you down as he tries to make you uncomfortable.

“What is it, asshole day?” You groan, tilting your head back as you feel a headache form. “Yes, Steven. I murdered people, and again, you’ve stated I wouldn’t be a good mother. How about you get over that?” You hum, shovelling more food into your mouth as you stare at him without emotion. You point your fork at him. “Have you ever stopped to think that maybe you're the problem? Maybe you're the one who wouldn’t make a good parent? I mean, let’s face it, you have issues. You can’t even keep anything good in your life, and when you do find something good, you try and destroy it because you are so self-absorbed.” You roll your eyes, ignoring how some team members chuckle as you tear the retired Captain a new one. “You think you're better than any of us? You’ve killed, too. You’ve done worse. So what if I did the world a favour and took out some pathetic men? What are you going to do? What is worse than you ripping my heart out like I meant nothing to you?” You place the food down, hop off the counter and approach him with a glare.

And the dumbass decides to open his mouth. “Well, if you want my opinion–”

“I don’t.” Your glare hardens, jaw clenching as you stop yourself from killing him, especially in front of your friends and family. “I have my own.” Everyone’s breath hitches when you step closer to the towering man. “Now, if you don’t mind. I don’t want trash in my house, so I suggest you find the door before I set you on fire.” You growl lowly, sending shivers up everyone’s spines before you turn and go into your bathroom, needing to get the blood of the useless off of you.

Once you finish showering and changing into comfier clothes, you return and stop when you notice everyone bar one, still here. “Oh, you guys didn’t leave?” You look over and see Wanda preparing a feast in your kitchen while everyone else makes themselves at home around your cabin. You look around to make sure Steve isn’t hiding around a corner. “Huh, I guess trash does know how to take itself out.” Your head turns as you hear Tony laugh, nearly falling out of his seat.

“Oh, kid. You don’t know how much I missed you and your sarcasm.” He sips the very expensive whiskey that you may or may not have stolen from him. “Morgan’s missed you too, especially how you’d teach her your sarcastic ways.” You smile softly, accepting a glass from Natasha as she walks up to you.

“I’ve missed her too. I’m sorry for not rushing over when she got hurt.” You take a sip, leaning into Natasha as she wraps an arm around you.

Tony shrugs. “It’s not your fault. Don’t apologise. She had help plus. She isn’t even your kid. You shouldn’t have to apologise for not rushing to someone else’s kid.” He rubs his forehead, “It’s not your job to do that. Sure, when you are on the field. I get it because that’s our job.” Tony points at you. “Don’t let Captain tightass get to you. You’d be a wonderful mother.”

You smile, “Thanks, Tony. Always one for wise words.” You smile when Wanda comes around and kisses your cheek softly, mentioning that dinner’s ready. You all head over to the table and sit down, feeling a pair of eyes on you. You turn and notice Bucky staring at you with a soft smile. “What’s up, Buck?”

He shakes his head, “nothing. I just want you to know that I tried talking some sense into him, and when he didn’t listen and we found out the truth of your disappearance, we kicked his ass.” You giggle, shaking your head at the image. Bucky flashes a proud smile at making you laugh. He’s happy you’re smiling and loves his best friend, but Steve didn’t deserve someone like you. You deserved the world, and he knew the rest of the team was thinking it.

“Thank you, you guys didn’t have to do that. I know you’ve known him longer than you’ve known me, but I appreciate the love you’ve shown me.” You thank them, feeling loved even though deep down you feel broken. Once dinner was over, they said their goodbyes and left, promising that they’ll come and see you again. You were left alone once again. Left in your thoughts as the broken woman inside you pounded against your heart, she wanted out. She wanted to cry and grieve the relationship you once had. But anger was better than tears, better than grief, better than guilt. You walked into your bathroom and stared at yourself in the mirror. The person staring back at you wasn’t who Steve had left. She was different. “How could you have been so stupid?” You spoke to her, watching her mouth move like yours did. “Why did you fall for him?! Why did you give your heart over?!” You screamed, your fist flying forward and shattering the glass.

You were better off alone. Maybe one day you could open your heart again, and maybe one day you’ll find the person right for you. But right now, you needed to find yourself, find the woman you were without him.

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

part 3

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peachjagiya · 2 months ago

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Hello Peach, hope you are doing ok. I am baby Army who has been in the fandom for about 5 months and new taekooker and also very new tumblr and ever since I found your blog i’ve really been enjoying your posts and I especially love how good you are at digging and going into detail as well as debunking senseless theories. So that said, I recently saw some jkkrs on tiktok saying that on Hobi’s birthday Live in 2019 (February 17th 2019) Jimin and Jungkook were together before joining the Live. I haven’t been in the fandom long but I’ve already learnt that shippers on youtube, tiktok and instagram are very good at misleading people with edits so I decided to watch the Live for myself and around 38 minutes in, RM scolds Jimin for coming to wish Hobi a happy birthday with disheveled hair to which JM laughs and says that he had been telling Jungkook he wouldn’t be able to wake up so he will need to set an alarm or something. Before this, I think he mentioned that he had been sleeping but then suddenly woke up to join the others to wish Hobi a happy birthday. What felt a little weird to me was the way the members reacted when Jimin started talking about his discussion with Jungkook prior to the Live. The members immediately cut him off in unision and then they all looked kinda awkward immediately he started saying it then after they all left the room, Jk stayed back explaining something to Hobi then Jimin came back in to get him. There is also a bangtan bomb (searched but couldn’t find it) which shows things from Jimin’s pov outside Hobi’s room while Jk was still in there. All the other members had left and gone to their rooms but Jimin just stood outside kinda confused like he didn’t know where to go and then he awkwardly played with the staff abit before going back in to get Jk.

I’m new so I still don’t understand alot of things but I do feel a bit insecure about that moment because it did seem like Jimin was waiting for Jk. I’ve seen some jkkrs say it seemed like Jk had the keys to their room or something and that is why Jimin had to go get him and why he stood outside sheepishly and while this might be a stretch, I don’t understand why the members behaved the way they did when Jimin started talking about his discussion with Jk prior to the Live and I also don’t understand why Jimin didn’t just go to his room like all the other members did. Why did he have to go back to get Jk like he needed him to get into his room? I know that they are all friends who can hang out with each other in their rooms but that whole thing just felt a little weird idk. Do you think they were in the same room?

Hi! Without the Jimin Bangtan bomb, it’s hard to determine? I went into a jimkookers timeline even to see if they linked it but all I got was a dead link for Love Yourself in Fukuoka timecode 17:17 which doesn’t relate. But here’s the birthday live:

youtube

I dunno if it looks that awkward if I’m honest but yes he does seem to wait for Jungkook. It might even be something as simple as they were hanging out and were intending to continue hanging out. Or Jimin left his phone in JKs room or something. This feels on brand for that time period.

I certainly think if they were a legit gay couple, they probably wouldn’t have filmed this “implication” and included it in three different contents but maybe I’m cynical. Or maybe it just doesn’t mean anything. I don’t think there’s a need to feel insecure… they’re brothers. Even if JK was sleeping in Jimin’s room, I don’t find it particularly threatening.

Can anyone else add anything?

What I did find when cross referencing dates was this adorable thing happened the day before so I’ll end on verifiable cuteness

#My asks

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drawsdenfiles · 4 months ago

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damn bruh i really liked your art wish you didn't support trump :(

I knew I was going to break some hearts with my last few posts, but tumblr’s reactions to these major events have been very, very upsetting. Thank you for supporting my art throughout my time here and I appreciate you taking the time to send a message that isn’t totally insulting or rude. I know this isn’t easy.

I’m not someone who apologizes for my beliefs, but I am someone who understands that you and others followed me for my art and not for… this. So for that, I am actually very sorry. There are people I just adore who came out saying things that were very disappointing to me, so it’s not like I’m unaware of how you feel… It’s an icky feeling, isn’t it? I think so. Very icky.

I hope it means something to you that I don’t blindly support anyone, that I’ve spent the last several months really digging into why this is all happening and comparing current events to historic events- not just American events, but events that have taken place in countries all around the world. Italy right before World War 2, for example, looks a little too similar to how people are behaving right now. The violence, the fires. The riots. Instead of automatically believing the headlines and the tumblr posts, I would look a little further into what they were talking about and would see that hey, what they’re saying isn’t exactly true. Sometimes it actually is true, but it’s taken so totally out of context that it’s just… well… still actually not true.

You like me as an artist, which is so sweet of you… Maybe you can find it in your heart to follow me a little longer and see if I’m really the bad guy these people want you to think I am.

#politics #trump

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simplyholl · 2 years ago

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I want to start this off sentimentally before I release my much awaited, unhinged reblog on you. Have I ever told you how happy I am that you’re my bestie and more recently, tumblr wife?! Because you’re brilliant. This whole series is genius. I know every time you post it’s gonna be hitting all my kinks. And I am never disappointed. I love you, my Paulette, my Poison Ivy ❤️❤️ Okay, that’s enough of the mushy shit. On to the good stuff!

The mention of all the swords and axes and pointy shit has got me horny already. I’m not gonna make it.

"Does any particular weapon draw your attention, Agent?" Loki's deep voice rasped, sliding his hands purposefully over your hips.

“An act of mischief” “My admiration” He wants us to admit we are jealous soo bad. Bringing up our “other” lover! And really kissing us at the end?! Cue “Can You Feel The Love Tonight” from the Lion King.

Also Loki when he realizes he has feelings for us 🤣 (I know this gif is lion king 2 but Kovu is kinda hot for a lion and gives me Loki vibes so I had to include him)

"Make me, Agent." he smouldered, a smirk pulling at his lips. "Make me…..behave."

THE ENCHANTMENT!!!!!!ahdbsidbrjsneinrjf!

“I am going to cum from sucking his goddam dick” I’ve never related more to a sentence 😅🤣

"Death by semen inhalation. Oh dear.." I couldn’t think of a better way to go!

Of course his cum would taste good! I mean, I’d gobble that shit up anyway but good to know 🤣

And I don’t even want to know how he knows what Thor’s tastes like 👀😂

“He had tucked his enormous cock back within its holster” idk why but this line tickled the shit out of me 🤣🤣

In the last one i said he better rip those panties off with his teeth like he did the dress, and you did not disappoint! 😘

I want to know what he whispered to Thor!!!

What an asshole! The whole it’s none of your business who I’m fucking line. My crazy ass would be hiding in his clothes hamper to see who he was dicking down! 🤣😅

“the sight of him kneeling before you; the delicately muffled moans leaking from his lips around your cunt...it was almost too much to bear” 🔥🥵

When he made the holster appear, I came in my pants.

“Your fingers wrapped tentatively around the thick straps, nails digging in to the deliciously firm leather. You pulled.Loki's face pressed deeper into your slit, a groan of approval sounding against the wetness.”

“Surely you are not so cock-drunk for me that you forgot about the mission." Oh sir, but I am 🤣🤷‍♀️

"Now do what Daddy tells you, Agent…..and get dressed." ☠️ Here lies Holly, deceased mere days before her birthday. She had a good run, but Loki calling himself Daddy for the second time in this collection was too much for her. 🤣

Crossed Swords:To The Hilt [Avenger! Loki x Fem.Reader]

Part of the Hostile F*cks Collection A Link to my Masterlist is HERE Summary: (10) 'Master of Blades' Laufeyson makes good on his threat promise. Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI. Smut. Language. "Friends" w/ benefits. Hostility. (w/c 3.3k)

The door to the blade depositary closed with a soft click beneath Loki’s palm. You let your eyes crawl over the exotic weaponry hanging on the walls as he stalked behind you.

Longswords, broadswords, axes, spears, rapiers; all exquisitely arranged to Steve’s meticulous wallchart. The expansive short-sword display was unsurprisingly, sparse. “Does any particular weapon draw your attention, Agent?” Loki’s deep voice rasped, sliding his hands purposefully over your hips.

You let your head roll back against his shoulder as he pulled you to him, feeling his arousal hard as marble against the curve of your ass. Loki’s fingers grazed over your mound, tracing lightly over your hood through the leggings. “Why do you insist on being so wilful, Agent?” he purred menacingly, pressing his fingers against the swollen bundle of nerves. “So inflammatory. Crossing swords with a god...” he tsk'd, dripping with condescension. You gasped as his fingers dragged upwards, pulling gently at your clit. “Your first offence...the red dress, I gave you the benefit of the doubt.” he sneered, ignoring your soft moans of pleasure. “Simple ignorance. Your subconscious attempt to rouse my jealousy without understanding the consequences of your actions, perhaps.” Loki inhaled deeply into your hair. “But this…” he growled on the exhale. His fingers fluttered beneath your t-shirt, hooking under the red lace of your g-string. “This is an act of defiance. A confrontation…” He pulled the fabric outward. “…an act of mischief.” Loki tutted, releasing the elasticated lace with a sharp thwack against your skin.

“Did you hope that by flaunting this feeble war-cry that you would set fire to my jealousy? Did you like it so much the first time?” he snorted, stepping backward. To your shame, you whimpered at the loss of his touch.

Loki chuckled thoughtfully, releasing a low hum as he ran his hands covetously down the curve of your waist. “You have unleashed something far more unpredictable than my jealousy, Agent...” he murmured darkly. "My admiration.” “Your admiration seems in high demand today.” you mustered, circling your hips against the protrusion. Loki’s hands froze, before one rose and unsheathed the sword from the holster tight on his back. The scrape of steel on leather made you shiver. “Ah, you heard my guest, then.” he said quietly, extending his arm in front of you. The Asgardian longsword threw glimmers in the low light. The blurred reflections of your shapes glinted in the blade, before he ran the flat diagonally across your breasts. Cool metal grazed your nipples as Loki let out an exaggerated moan in your ear. “What did you feel, Agent? Hearing me with another. Tell me.” “Nothing.” you gasped, raising your hand up over the blade to slide along the chiselled landscape of his cheekbone. “Liar.” he rumbled, his warm breath making arousal seep deeper into the lace. You tugged his hair in a fist. Hard.

“You feel more than you let on, Agent. The malice, the venom.” He moaned as his thick cock dragged against your lower back through his tight pants. “The supposed hatred that I make you feel as I do. Isn’t that right?” “I do...I fucking...hate you, Loki” you moaned, as his flattened fingers pressed upward against your sex. Instinctively your grip tightened around the clutch of his hair, pulling his face downward into the curve of your neck. He hummed thoughtfully, thrusting gently against your ass. “I know you do, darling.” he cooed, breath hitching as your free hand grasped against his hips. “Powerful...isn’t it?” In a flash Loki spun you, pulling you flush to his bare chest in a ravenous kiss. You heard the priceless sword clatter from his hand to the floor, realising that the god’s spandex top and leather holster had melted away. Only the fencing pants remained. Ropes of shoulder muscle shifted beneath the straps as his tongue filled your mouth, wet passion smothering you. Your fingernails scraped down his carved stomach, feeling the weight of his hands spread wide across your ass. You slid the straps over his shoulders, mapping every centimetre they edged down those solidly curved biceps. Pressing them to the skin, you felt the fabric tug against his fine forearm hair before letting them fall sluttishly around his hips. Loki’s flat stomach clenched as he thrust forward, the hardness imprisoned within the tight fencing pants straining. You tucked a finger inside the waistband, pulling it out before letting it snap back to his taut skin. “Tease.” Loki growled playfully, his eyes narrowing as you bit your lip. He groaned as your fingers skimmed the outline of his arousal like a magnet, a wordless beg that made your pussy gape. “Yesss…” he groaned gratefully as you sank slowly to your knees, letting your palms run greedily over the soft material bound to his thighs like a second skin. Fingers dug into the firm flesh, nudging him backwards. He backed into the display of daggers with a soft clang as you edged closer, the thin material of your leggings letting the burn of the carpet sink through. This is madness, you thought; as your face buried in his crotch, inhaling the deep, musky scent through the fabric which taunted you. Madness. “Doesn’t it make you f-feel alive?” Loki gasped, as your fingers toyed with the zip. All you could muster were shallow pants as the zip drew lower; from below his naval to the seat of his desire. He groaned again as your fingers wrapped around his manhood, salvation from its confinement. “I’ve taken the liberty of adding a minor…enchantment…to your body.” he smirked. It grew wider as you raised an eyebrow. “Patience.” he said coolly, silencing your question before it passed your lips. “Don’t you ever shut up?” you murmured against his finger, looking up at him coyly with his cock resting in your hand. He lowered his chin, the dark tendrils of hair loose from its ties falling around his jaw. Loki’s brow furrowed in anticipation as he watched your fingertips trace along the velvet skin. “Make me, Agent.” he smouldered, a smirk pulling at his lips. “Make me...behave.”

A renewed wave of adrenaline flooded your core. I’ll make you fucking behave, prick; you thought, the challenge rushing in rapids through your bloodstream. I’ll make you forget their name. You leant forward, fastening your lips around the thick, leaking tip of his godly cock. Another soft clang let you know that Loki’s head had fallen back against the weaponry. The corners of your mouth stretched in the painfully delicious way you remembered from the motel, his obscene manhood inching inside with every wave of your tongue. Loki’s natural scent clinging to his pubic hair made saliva well around his length. You hummed, letting it squeeze around every sliver of available space as you saw his fist clench and unclench by his side out the corner of your eye. You let your lips slide down his flesh, fully coated and ready to be devoured. With a final inhale through your nostrils, you let it glide to the back of your throat; pressing your lips together. “Slowly...take me..g-gods...a-all the way.” Loki moaned, fingers winding lightly in your hair. You pushed further, feeling the girth pulse against your tonsils. “To the h-hilt.” he choked, releasing a guttural grunt as you did just that. A tingling warmth flooded your mouth, easing down your throat. He hasn’t cum already, has he? The thought was fleeting, before another sensation hit. With every inch you drew slowly back along his length, the feeling lessened. You dove forward again, fingers digging deeper against his muscular hips. It rose again. Like your nipples being brushed teasingly through a cotton t-shirt. Like a wave of unstoppable pleasure growing slowly between your thighs while being stroked by a talented lover. Like being fucked. And like being fucked well. The enchantment, you realised in awe; thrusting your mouth forward onto his desperately hard cock with even more enthusiasm. The tip pressed against the wet back of your throat, making you whimper with the first sparks of orgasm. Every stroke of his perfect manhood inside your mouth was magic, a mysteriously new centre of pleasure making feral arousal slosh higher and higher in your belly. It’s not possible, you thought. Loki’s winding grip in your hair tightened as the indescribable feeling threatened to overwhelm you. He began to thrust lightly into your open mouth, the sway of his hips making you clench around air as you sucked him mercilessly. But with this asshole…you chided yourself, anything is possible. The thick veins of his cock pulsed on your tongue as you moaned; lips sealed tight. Every gasp of pleasure from the god above you made the mess between your legs thicker; arousal seeping into the gusset of your leggings. The back of your throat was sizzling bliss; each press of his tip making nirvana well within your desperate cunt. “Norns...m-more, Agent. Fuck me with that bratty mouth of yours.” he snarled, thighs trembling as you wrapped your fingers around the root of his girth. “F-fuck…” he gasped, a judder sending several daggers behind him bouncing to the floor.

I am going to cum from sucking his goddam dick, you realised with frightening intensity as you gripped tight to the open waistband of the fencing pants. You were gyrating against air, rocking yourself backwards and forwards along the endless column between his legs. Loki spread his feet wider to stifle a buckle, one hand flying to a shelf at the side. “I’m going to cum, Agent.” he warned formally between heavy breaths, a hand grasping messily around the handle of an axe askew on the wall. Another moan choked through the vacuum of your lips, pumping your hand at the base while you devoured him greedily. The shaft pressed deeper, saliva drooling down your chin as tears of pleasure pricked your eyes. A groan from your full mouth vibrated his cock, feeling his balls tighten. You were cumming, too. Loki’s fingers carded your hair before sliding down to your shoulder, rocking you through the final, aching strokes to his undoing. “Fuck. Yes.. oh… gods...Agen-” He exploded. A wave of hot liquid filled every crevice of your mouth, coating the back of your throat accompanied by one guttural roar from Loki above. The inexplicable orgasm rolling within you fell over the other side of crescendo, white noise bubbling in your eardrums. You spluttered as Loki’s silky cum welled at the entrance to your windpipe, struggling against the weight of your own bliss as you fought for breath. He pushed you back gently, concern etched on his sweat-moistened face. “You almost k-killed me.” you slurred, looking up as he broke out in a mischievous smile at your dishevelled state. A thick drip rolled down your chin.

“Death by semen inhalation. Oh dear…” he murmured, raising you to your feet. “Although it would certainly make for an interesting obituary.” Now that you could breathe, the taste of his seed flooded your senses. Vanilla, sweet...like liquid pudding blended with a sprinkling of salt. Loki’s thumb grazed your lips, bringing it immediately to his own. His cheekbones hollowed as he sucked it clean. “Is that a...god thing?” you said softly, not wanting to hasten the fade of his taste on your tongue. Loki chucked mirthlessly. “I can tell you for a fact that my brother’s arousal does not taste thus, if that is what you mean.” You frowned. “That wasn’t what I-” Loki’s hand cupped your jawline, titling it upwards as he moulded his lips possessively to yours. He worked you backwards, your knees hitting the solid rectangular seat in the centre of the room. The god pushed your shoulders down, setting you with a jolt on top of the sterile cushioning. “He eats too much of your Midgardian junk foods. It taints the source you see.” he muttered. That look was back. The one that flamed in his eyes as his sword grazed his brother’s throat. Loki’s fingers found the waistband of your leggings peeling them from your limbs in one graceful swipe. You gasped as he settled on his knees, spread thighs bulging against the white fabric of the fencing pants. He had tucked his enormous cock back within its holster, but it pressed fiercely against the flimsy cage. Biding its time.

“What Thor said...about your lovers-” you stammered, seeing deep lines appear in his forehead. “What did you whisper to him? In the fight when you-” “Know this.” Loki’s snapped, his hand flying to your throat and tracing his fingers firmly over the curve. He squeezed gently, letting his fingertips graze over your collarbone. His touch was electricity; jealous lust flooding through his skin to yours. You didn’t flinch, tilting your chin upwards. Loki’s eyes followed the exploration of your skin, before rising to meet your questioning stare. “If you ever lie with him, I will destroy you.” he said solemnly. “Is that a threat?” you coyed, squirming against the seat. He was insufferable. But man alive, he was one hot motherfucker. “Of course it is.” he hissed, before leaning forward and gripping the waistband of your red panties between his teeth with a growl. They pulled, the elastic cutting into your skin before breaking with a pathetic snap. Loki knelt back, the lace hanging between his jaws like a dog toy. With a grimace, he spat it to the floor. “It is only by the grace of your misguided discretion that your other lover still has the means to pleasure you.” he sneered coldly, observing the tattered fabric with suspicion before his malevolent gaze rose to yours. “But no matter. He will never satisfy you again by the time we are finished here.” Your breath hitched as his palms found the inside of your knees, spreading your legs. Loki bit a bruising suck into your inner thigh, his smouldering eyes fixed on your own. You whimpered, before he drew back, rubbing the mark he had left in his wake. “It is no business of yours what I whispered to my brother.” Loki murmured to himself, observing his work. “And no business of yours whom I fuck when it is not you, either.” “Loki wha-” Before the final syllables left your lips, one of the god’s palms snaked up your stomach and pushed you backwards. In a flash, his flattened tongue swiped through your soaking folds, collecting the sticky cum already gathered. “Oh god...Loki” you exhaled softly, feeling his muscle dip inside your dripping channel, swirling and caressing every nerve. You knew that he hadn’t been lying about his talents, but the sight of him kneeling before you; the delicately muffled moans leaking from his lips around your cunt...it was almost too much to bear. You threw your head back to stifle a moan, feeling the veins of your neck harden as he ate you out like a sexual demon. Sinfully rich groans of enthusiasm floated from between your thighs as you bucked into his open mouth, completely lost. You could feel yourself opening, every insecurity you had ever known melting in the enthusiasm of his furious adoration. Loki’s fingertips grasped at your stomach, massaging gently as the other arm steadied one shaking leg. “Don’t fight me.” he whispered wetly between your legs. “Moan for me, Agent. For only me.”

His mouth latched to your clit, sucking the hood as you grasped at the edge of the seat. Your hands were moist with sweat, sliding for purchase as the world began to blur. Loki raised his head, glistening arousal smeared across his cheeks and chin. He blew a strand of hair from his lips. “You may want to hold onto something a little more...robust” he purred with a smirk, as the familiar leather back holster appeared theatrically in a low glimmer of seidr, wrapping around his bare shoulders. The tight straps pressed against his shoulders, digging into the skin as he leant forward. Oh Jesus Christ, you thought as your jaw slackened, before he buried himself in your pussy once more. Your fingers wrapped tentatively around the thick straps, nails digging in to the deliciously firm leather. You pulled. Loki’s face pressed deeper into your slit, a groan of approval sounding against the wetness. He lapped rhythmically as you rocked into him, his hand sliding down your stomach to loop around the other shaking leg. “If you stop, I’ll fucking kill you.” you panted, feeling him chuckle against your desperate cunt. But something told you this time he wouldn’t. That this time was different. Loki’s soft tongue dipped inside, licking his lips before placing another wide trail up the centre of your desire. You had been plateauing for what felt like hours, climax blossoming and ebbing with every passionate swipe. Strands of hair fell around his cheekbones as he consumed you, wet slurps bass against the high pitch of your needy whimpers. You raised your knees, tilting your pelvis up as you pulled the leather harness further down. Loki grunted against your pussy, pushing your knees back as he pleasured you deeper. “F-fuck, Loki...please...I’m c-close-” The god let out a guttural growl, sucking your slick folds between his teeth. You thrust against him as his messy licks ravenously devastated every pocket of pleasure between your open thighs. You craned upwards, nails digging deeper into the leather. The view would be your final undoing. More of Loki’s hair fell around his jaw, hanging loose as his mouth covered your sex like he would never have enough. His eyes were closed, the thick curves of shoulder muscle rolling as he became lost in your pleasure as if it were his own. You watched his cheekbones hollow; lips suckling at your clit before you fell over the edge with a wail of his name. Instinctively you pulled the leather holster further, feeling his tongue slide inside your liquid channel as he pulled every last whimper from your spent, shuddering body. Seconds passed in silence, the only sound in the air your slow, staggered breaths. “Are you humbled enough to admit it now?” he goaded knowingly, resting back on his knees. Your hands fell from the leather holster clinging to his bare shoulders. “Uh…that was uh...it was-what?” you stammered, catching your breath. There were stars sizzling behind your eyelids. For at least another few moments, you wanted to avoid his sanctimonious smugness. Just another few-

“That I’m the best.” he snipped. You jumped as something soft landed on your belly. You looked at him vacantly, before Loki threw his hands in the air. “Get dressed.” he snapped. “What about the swords? We...we need to put them back.” you panted, shuffling up on your elbows. “They are back.” Loki drawled, nodding casually to a large trunk in the corner that was definitely not on Steve’s wallchart. You looked from the trunk back to Loki, running your eyes over his bare chest shimmering with a thin sheen of sweat. Your cum glistened on his lips, his chin, his cheeks. “If you’re a very good girl, and manage to hold that smart tongue of yours...perhaps you’ll earn more after the mission tonight.” Loki’s keen gaze followed your own, meeting it with a frown as you lay dazed on the bench. You groaned, eyes squeezing shut as reality came crashing home. “Or perhaps you have other plans? Surely you are not so cock-drunk for me that you forgot about the mission.” Loki sneered, a flicker of jealousy skating over his otherwise placid features. The spandex top suddenly manifested back onto his lithe frame like dripping tar, the leather holster melting to nothing. He smoothed his hair back, collecting the damp curls which had fallen in a swirl of magic as it became perfectly placed once again. The tight trousers creased around his thighs; the heaviness of his relentlessly hard cock outlined against the white fabric. “Are you never satisfied?” you huffed sarcastically, rolling your eyes while you tried not to let out a whimper. You wanted more. Always more. And it was torture. He was torture. Loki slid the straps of the fencing pants in place over his shoulders with a chuckle before stalking across the floor. He leant over your sprawled body, placing his hands on the seat to either side. His firm biceps bulged against the spandex as he lowered, tongue pressing inside your mouth in a passionate kiss. He’s never done that before, you thought; as you melted into his unexpected touch. Not after. Loki withdrew, rubbing his smooth cheek against yours. Your skin tingled, the graze of a secret smile pressing against your jaw from his lips. His warm breath caressed your ear, the scent of your cum thick on his breath as he spoke. “Never.” he purred slowly. You shivered, feeling his power seep through the sliver of air between you. “Now do what Daddy tells you, Agent...and get dressed.”

To be continued in Captain’s Orders (coming soon) Part of the Hostile F*cks Collection

Tags (continued in comments)

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midnight-munson · 2 years ago

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Lucky Boy | Eddie Munson

Summary: Eddie Munson always deserves a reward when he's done well, so after another magnificent show with his band, who are you to deny him his prize, in the back of the van, naked and all to himself. GN! Pronouns for AFAB reader!

Warnings: SMUT, 18+, Sub Eddie Munson, dom reader! Colour system used, protected sex, vaginal sex, gender-neutral pronouns for the reader but fem anatomy, come eating, oral sex (male and female receiving) ring kink, bruising, hair pulling kink, hand job, van sex, praise kink, cigarette smoking.

Request: Hiya! After show anon here! I would love for sub!Eddie, I think that would fit the vibe after the reader watches his show, if that makes any sense? No specific kinks or anything, but female anatomy. Gender-neutral pronouns are completely fine though!

Word Count: 3k!

A/N: If you recognise this fic, it's because it was originally posted on my other account @ midnightreid, but right now that account has a bug and tumblr are doing shit all to fix it, so I've made this new account to post my NSFW works. Enjoy!

PLEASE REBLOG FOR MORE EDDIE SMUT!

There was nothing like being at one of Eddie’s shows, watching the man rock out on his guitar while the whole crowd is captivated by him. It was as if he had the whole world at a standstill while his fingers plucked at the strings, and you couldn’t help but watch him with all the adoration in your eyes from the side of the stage.

He played in such a way that had people fawning over him, girls getting so close to the stage to try and be noticed by him, boys dancing and acting just like him as he stomped around the stage while he threw his head back and forth. Every song was a new dream, every lyric a new chant, and soon the concert had passed you by and the band were coming off the stage.

Eddie went straight for you, gathering him in your arms with the biggest grin you’d ever seen and that glimmer in his eyes you loved so much. He couldn’t help but kiss you, even if all his bandmates groaned around him, but he didn’t care. With his hands on your waist and chest pressed against yours, he wasn’t letting you go any time soon. This was his moment, his reward for playing so well, and he wasn’t missing a single second of it.

“Hey, Eddie, you coming to the party at Mark’s tonight?” One of his band mates came up to Eddie and swung an arm over his shoulder. “C’mon man, bring your babe and let’s party.”

You knew Eddie was tempted, could see it in his eyes that he liked the idea of partying with his friends, getting drunk off cheap beer, and lording it over as the frontman of the band. But he made his decision as soon as he looked at you, eyes filled with a heat he just knew he had to get a fill of.

“Maybe later dude, you guys go have fun though.” With that, Eddie was pulling you away from the rest of the band and dragging you away to the back of the building and out the door.

“You know, if you really want to, you can go to the party.” Eddie pulls open the back doors of his van, which is hiding in a dark part of the carpark, revealing the surprisingly clean interior, with sleek leather seats and black shiny paint.

“I know I could, doll. But honestly, I’d rather spend tonight. Plus, if I remember correctly, you promised me a gift after the show.” You let out a laugh, knowing how this night was already going to go down.

“Well, then, Eddie Munson, you want your gift?” He nods eagerly and doesn’t even wince when you push him into the back of the van, letting him get adjusted against one of the walls. “Then you better listen to me, pretty boy. I’m in charge tonight, okay?”

He’s nodding again, reaching for you with a look of so much love on his face that it nearly makes you melt. But you bat his hands away and dodge his kiss when he leans in. You push him back against the body of the van, hand on his chest and nails digging in slightly.

“I need words, baby, otherwise everything stops now. Are you ready to behave?” Eddie swallows the excited lump in his throat but answers you firmly.

“Yes, please doll.” You’re happy with that answer, and after you got comfortable in your position between Eddie’s spread legs, you strip yourself of your jacket, revealing a sheer t-shirt that had Eddie admiring you right away.

He’d always liked your breasts, always thought they were the perfect shape and size for him to leave small bite marks on and grip with his hands, and now he couldn’t look away. But you didn’t mind, secretly you were always flattered. So when he reached out to touch you above the shirt, you didn’t stop your already needy boyfriend. You were his reward after all.

“You want me to kiss you, baby boy? Yeah?” He’s nodding again, and you don’t hesitate to press your lips against his finally, in a kiss that he’s been dreaming about for ages now. It’s firm and fast and sloppy and just what he was hoping for. Your hand is in his hair, and like always, you’re gently tugging at the strands, making him moan pitifully against your mouth.

He was always so easy to rile up, push a few buttons and already he wants you in his arms. But sometimes it’s fine to take time, to tease him a little and leave him a begging mess, and that’s exactly what you planned to do tonight.

Eddie whined when your lips left his lips and travelled down his neck, sucking against his pulse point harshly, leaving marks that you know he’ll love. His hands are on your waist, holding you tightly so you can’t move away, but you both know he’ll let go the second you want him to. And he does, when you help him take off his shirt and leather jacket, throwing them to the other side of the van. He’s not expecting you to pay so much attention to his chest, doesn’t expect the cool chill of the metal of your necklaces against his skin either, but he’s in heaven when your teeth latch around his nipple and give it a soft tug, an action that makes him keen into you.

“Oh, doll, fuck baby.” Eddie’s whining softly, making you grin against his skin. He wants you to go faster, nearly begs you to, but you both know that you’re in control tonight, and it’s never been more certain when you take his hands off your waist and put them over his head.

“Listen up, baby. I’m going to give you your reward now, and if you play nice, you might earn something special. But if not…well, maybe I’ll make you go to that party, hard as a rock inside these very tight jeans. Understand, Eddie?” You watch him, making sure he understands the implications, and he stares right back at you, hands where you put them and chest littered with bruises and harsh red marks from your nails.

“I understand. Now please, doll, do something.” Eddie bucks his hips up then, jostling you slightly from your position on his lap, but you’re not done talking.

“Hey, you can wait another thirty seconds, Munson. Now, what’s your colour?” The colour system wasn’t anything new to the two of you, and even if Eddie didn’t think it was needed tonight, you still wanted that extra bit of security in case it did get too much for him.

“Green.” You nod, accepting his answer, and then you lean in to kiss him again, soft and slow to start. Eddie loves kisses like this, loves when you take your time with him and pour all the love and affection you have for him into a kiss. But what he doesn’t know is that you’re only trying to distract him, undoing the buttons of his jeans and slowly pulling down the zipper.

Eddie gasps loudly against your lips when you get your hand on his cock, already hard and red and smacking against his stomach with a sightly wet sound. He throws his head back against the wall, seeking some kind of relief from the hell you’re about to put him through, but seconds later, his eyes are back on you and his cock.

“Ohhh, what’s this? Did I get you all riled up, baby? Do you need me to make it better? Need me to let you come?” Eddie’s nodding furiously, watching as you leaned down to spit on the tip of his cock, using it as lube so you could run your hand over him.

He’s moaning loudly, not caring if anyone hears the two of you, and you chuckle darkly when he groans and drops his head down when you play with the slit. You take him in your mouth then, hot and wet and perfect for him. He can’t help but buck his hips up, but you take it in your stride, swallowing around him and letting your tongue travel up the vein.

Eddie’s being such a good boy, so loud and responsive for you, and not once has he let his hands move from their position. You didn’t expect him to be so good, so perfect for you. And as you take him down deeper, you look up to watch him in ecstasy, eyes shut tight and his hands forming fists. He’s trying so hard not to come too early, wanting the moment to last a bit longer, but you don’t mind.

“Fuck, doll, I swear to god, I’m so close.” He’s muttering now, and when you dig your nails into his waist just like he always loves, his hips lift until you’re choking on his cock. He’s in such bliss as spit falls from your mouth and tears well up in your eyes as you take him deep, filling your nostrils with his scent of musky cologne and cheap cigarettes he always keeps in the van.

You pull your mouth away from him then, and when you move to kiss him, he lets you willingly, your hand coming up to tug on his hair and his pre-cum and your spit covering your lips. It’s never been so dirty between you, but Eddie’s loving it, bucking his hips up repeatedly to get some sort of friction on his aching cock that’s now being neglected.

“Here’s what's going to happen, pretty boy. I’m gonna finish sucking you off, then I’m going to make you cum again and let you fuck me, and then, to finish the night off, you can do whatever you want to me. Sound good?” Eddie’s nearly going delirious as you list out your plan, but he’s nodding his head again, eyes wide and jaw slack when your hand lands back on his cock. He’s muttering soft “yes’s” into the warm air of the van, so you know he got the picture, and you don’t hesitate to start sucking him again, fingers biting into the skin of his thighs so he stays still.

It only takes a few more minutes, and you knew Eddie was trying to hold it in. But you weren’t going to let him, and after running your tongue over the slit one more time and pinching his nipple, he’s cumming into your mouth, hips bucking up erratically and choking you slightly.

You swallow it all down to the bewilderment of Eddie, who looks at you like you’re some type of devil come down to bless him with some type of hellish miracle, and Eddie breaks his promise then and drags you to him.

He’s kissing like he’s on fire, lips half missing yours in his desperation to taste you, taste his cum on your tongue and the orange balm you always put on your lips, and for a moment you can’t breathe, dizzy as his hands wander your body. Eddie strips you of your shirt and bra without a second thought, and tears your jeans from your body, much to your surprise.

“I’ll buy you new ones, promise.” And then he’s got you on his lap, and when his fingers touch your very neglected core to make sure you’re ready to take him, he whimpers, fingers glistening with juices that have soaked through your underwear. “Doll…I-...you’re going to ruin me one of these days.”

“Get on with it, Munson, I don’t have all night to wait, you want to make me cum or not?” Eddie’s got that glimmer in his eyes that you know means trouble, but you’re too sick of waiting. But luckily Eddie doesn’t have to be asked twice, because after rolling on a condom (because as much as he’s a rule-breaker, he doesn’t want to get you knocked up just yet) he’s grabbing your hips and sinking you onto him.

It’s pure ecstasy, and as you adjust to his size, you’re biting down on his shoulder, leaving teeth-shaped marks on his pale skin that he’ll treasure. He’s watching you, making sure you’re okay and when you nod and squeeze his bicep, he lets a small smirk escape before he’s fucking up into you, watching you bounce on his cock and whining into his neck.

Eddie’s so sensitive, already rock hard again even if he only came minutes ago, but he’s determined to get you off first. He’s tugging at your nipples, cold rings blissfully stinging against your skin as he leans in and sucks a mark to the crook of your neck.

You’re so wet, dripping down your thighs and onto his cock, and his hands are pressing down so hard on your thighs that the patterns of his rings are leaving indents on your skin, bruising. It makes you so much wetter, being marked by your boy, and when Eddie sucks on your nipple a final time, suddenly you’re coming, back arching and tightening around him.

You’re gasping for air, eyes wide and wet as the pleasure hits you in waves, shaking your body right to the core while Eddie keeps fucking up into you, watching you in awe as your eyes close and your hands go for his neck, fingers tightening against his pulse point. Eddie’s gone then too, yelling loudly as he pumps into you and spills his cum into the condom, breathing heavy and holding you tight against his chest. You’ve slumped against him, sweaty bodies pressing together, and for a moment all you can do is laugh.

“Hell, pretty boy, who knew you come make me cum like that.” Eddie is still keening at the praise, even if he has nearly fucked your brains out and is now covered in cum, eyes deep and watching your every move. He smiles like he’s in a dream, kissing up your neck and cheek to help you come down, but when you push away from him gently, he furrows his brow. “Hey, I’m okay, you did good, baby boy, I promise. But I do remember promising you can do whatever you want to me now.”

“A…Anything?” He nearly goes crazy at the endless thoughts running through his brain, but when he sees your juices dripping down his thighs from where you’ve just cum, he knows instantly what he wants. And without a word or a clue to you, he’s got you on your back, body flat against the floor of the van and the blankets that softened you from the harsh metal.

Suddenly he’s a man starved as if he hasn’t just cum twice and made you cum once, and before you know it, he’s got his mouth on you, making you shriek in shock. He dives in, giving you no chance to breathe, and you can feel him licking against your clit, vibrations sending sparks into your core again. It’s nearly too much for you, you nearly want to push him off but then he looks up at you from between your legs and those big brown eyes do you in, melting into his touch.

You’re silent, so tired and nearly at the end of your tether, but Eddie doesn’t mind, he can feel you reacting against his mouth, getting wetter again as he crooks a finger into and rubs his fingertip against your walls. He’s urging you on, a hunger in his eyes you’ve never seen before, and like always, he’s being your perfect good boy, grabbing your hand to ground the both of you to the moment.

Finally, after the waves of pleasure broke against you, you were cumming. In fact, for the first time, your cum was squirting out of you, soaking Eddie’s face and your thighs. He pulls away from you then, making sure you don’t get too oversensitive and he holds you tightly as you shake from the aftershocks that rack your body, and he can’t speak, too entranced by the picture of you shaking against the floor of the van in pleasure. You’re squeezing the hand that grips yours, pulling him to you in need, and he comes willingly, lying down next to you and kissing you delicately.

It takes a while for both of you to come down, pleasure slowly fading into a pleasant hum as you lie with your head on his chest, arms slung over his waist and his hand holding you tightly. That’s when he gets out the cigarettes, lights one quickly and takes it into his mouth. He knows he should quit the dirty things, but he can’t, just like he can’t quit you.

“You know, I think that reward was very much deserved, Munson.” He laughs as you look up from him, cigarette teetering between his lips.

“Oh yeah? Well, aren’t I the luckiest boy in Hawkins?” He kisses you then and wraps the two of you in the warm blankets that cover the van floor. “Got the prettiest doll by my side, just had the best sex of my life, and played the biggest show so far.”

“Best sex of your life, huh? And guess who’s to thank for that, lucky boy?” Eddie grins down at you, pinching your side teasingly. But he kisses you sweet and soft again, cupping your cheek with his free hand.

“Thank you, doll. Now, let’s get dressed so I can drive us back to the trailer.” He’s putting his shirt back on then and fumbling slightly with his jeans. “I’ve got the rest of the night to repay you, and I’m not letting that go.”

You loved Eddie Munson and the chaotic character that he was. With those long brown locks and deep brown eyes, you knew you’d be in the palm of his hand for the rest of existence. But sometimes you could take that control back, make him beg for you, and on those nights, the both of you knew how lucky the both of you were, even if Eddie nicknamed himself “lucky boy”.

PLEASE REBLOG FOR MORE EDDIE SMUT!

Tagging: @writingquillsandpainpills @wasteland-bvby @sadgirlml @gay-prentiss @wifeyreid @prettyboyeddiemunson @eddiemunsonbby @fangirl199812 @katsukis1wife @ariesl0ves3ddiemunson @kaqua @howlingco

#eddie munson x you #stranger things smut #eddie munson #eddie munson smut #stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x afab reader #stranger things fic #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fanfiction #midnight writes st!#eddie munson x gender neutral reader #joseph quinn #eddie munson oneshot

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gale-gentlepenguin · 3 years ago

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ML Fic: Soulmate Survey Part 37

Shout out to @asongeverlasting for beta reading for me and making sure I actually got this out.

Check her writing out on AO3 as Ramblingwren

(Master post)

(Read the fic in a more condensed on Ao3)

(The latest chapter will be up on there once this reaches over 300 notes on tumblr)

_____________________________________________________________

Simularé looked out over the city from the top of the school. Using her replicated powers, she took the form of Volpina so they'd be able to alter the illusion quickly should something pop out and accidentally reveal the true form of the school. Thankfully the sentimonster didn’t need to do much in order to maintain the illusion; Paris was a surprisingly quiet city.

As far as they could tell, no one in the city outside of the school had any idea what was going on. And that worked out perfectly for them.

“So, this is where Lila has you stationed,” a voice called out, resulting in the faux fox turning around. The figure behind them was a woman clad in dark blue, with blue skin and a feathery fan. She looked confident and the sentimonster instinctively felt that this individual was very much aware of what it was.

Mayura had quickly deduced it was the sentimonster as it was in Lila’s previous akuma form, Volpina. With Lila now Masquerade, it was unlikely she would choose to take such a form. She would likely want to stay in her new form to show it off.

“Do not be alarmed, Simularé, it is your creator. Mayura,” Mayura spoke again.

The shapeshifter leveled a sharp glare at the woman. What made her so certain of that?

“How do I know that is true?” Simularé questioned.

The villainess took a moment to examine the sentimonster. Mayura had to admit that this sentimonster was her finest work to date. The amount of emotion harnessed from Lila to create it made it far more unique, much less of a mindless creature than her previous creations. Amoks were created much like akuma were, locking on to intense emotions before sending off. But unlike akuma, amok can be shaped and tailored with enough focus. Simularé was a special case, as it was made from the conclave of emotions that Lila was experiencing during her breakdown. It had been quite difficult to focus on one specific feeling but Mayura had pushed through. Simularé was sculpted to be Lila’s ideal ally, but it was also so much more than a simple asset. This Amok embodied Lila’s core personality. Her cleverness, her cunning, her mistrust of others, her playfulness, her pride and so much more. To put it simply, this Sentimonster was Lila’s spirit given a new form.

“Trust me Simularé, you would be best not to ask that,” Mayura warned.

The sentimonster felt as if it was being talked down to and clearly did not approve of anyone talking to them in such a tone, save for its master. It charged at the peacock villainess, ready to make contact, But, before it could get close, Mayura stuck out her hand and pinched her fingers together, causing the sentimonster to feel as if some force was pulling its essence out. The pain it felt was indescribable! It felt as if its very being was being ripped out. Mayura was in range to sense the Amok and could easily remove it without difficulty, much like Hawkmoth could with an akuma. Though Mayura had a feeling that letting the Sentimonster know that keeping her out of range of the item was the key to its survival would not be wise. It was best in this moment to display power.

“Stop! Please!” Simularé begged. “I … I believe you! I will do whatever you ask, just please stop the pain!”

The villainess smiled, it seemed there was even more to this Sentimonster than Mayura had anticipated. It had a powerful sense of self preservation, something controlled sentimonsters didn’t seem to have. She took note of that.

“Good. Now, you are going to explain to me your master’s end goal and where Ladybug and Chat Noir are in the building.”

Simularé felt the grip that Mayura had on its essence and held back its burning resentment towards the blue bird villainess. She would behave. For now.

“Okay… I will tell you everything.”

_____________________________________________________________

“Duck!” Ladyice called out as she had Ice Noir lower their bodies to avoid oncoming ice projectiles.

“Surprising that she's only attacking us with ice. She's Stormy weather. You'd think she would be attacking with more, maybe some rain or like a vol....” Ice Noir commented.

“Don't talk about that! Do not give her any ideas!”

The two had skated out of the room and made their way through the now icy hallway while Stormy Weather gave chase.

“I was just saying it seems weird how...mediocre her attacks are.

“It’s like we saw before, the akuma servants are like robots, they can’t react quickly so changing up her powers is likely just as much of a problem. She's probably not as dangerous as we initially thought.”

“So maybe we should face this problem head on now that we aren’t cornered?”

Ice Noir changed direction and began skating towards the umbrella-wielding akuma.

Stormy Weather noticed the approaching cat and raised her umbrella, creating a mighty gale to blow him back and ending him flying past Ladyice to the end of the hallway.

“She can use her other powers… can confirm,” Ice noir commented as he got off the wall, still dazed.

Ladyice skated up to the dazed cat and helped stabilize him. Despite seeming like a wasted effort, the cat’s brash antics actually inspired Ladyice with a way to take her out.

“I just figured out how we can stop her, think you can give her one last charge for me?”

“Why Bugaboo, asking me to rush headfirst into danger? How heartless.” He feigned hurt.

Ladybug rolled her eyes.

“Silly Kitty. Just be ready to hang in there when she blasts you with wind. Don’t get blown back this time.”

“Got it.”

Ice Noir quickly skated across the ice as he drew his weapon. He was ready for her this time.

“Hey breezy weezy! The weather today was supposed to be sunny with a 20% chance of raining Cats and Dogs!” Ice Noir called out, clearly happy with his lame joke.

Stormy Weather saw the cat approaching once again and prepared to send another wind blast at him.

But the cat was prepared this time around and extended his staff to anchor himself to the walls on either side.

“Nice try!” Ice Noir snarked. “But a small little puff of wind won't blow me back again.”

The storm akuma decided instead of creating just another wind blast, she was going to step it up with a cyclone attack! A powerful tornado tunnel would surely blast the cat down for good.

“We were wrong! She can amp up the power too!” Ice Noir exclaimed as he held onto his staff with all his might while his body was being blown back by the massive winds. “This was not well thought out!”

He focused on digging his claws into his staff and doing his best to remain in the wind tunnel. The powerful winds blew into his face and he could see Stormy Weather slowly approaching.

“I don’t think I can hold on much longer, Ladyice!”

He felt his grip slipping. Any second now, he was going to get blown back.

“Don’t worry, Kitty. I got this.”

Stormy Weather didn’t get a chance to react when she felt something tackle her full force and rush her into the wall on the opposite end of the hallway.

The wind died down and Ice Noir was able to land on his skates. He released his grip on his staff and fixed his windblown hair to resemble its original state before quickly skating down the hall to help his partner.

“Nice job, Ladyice.”

The red-clad heroine stood up from her grapple with the storm akuma.

“Actually…”

Ice Noir looked up to see that his partner had shifted power ups. Her skates and ice skater aesthetic were replaced with a suit that had red spacesuit-like plating, a jetpack with retractable wings with red and light blue colors that matches her helmet.

She had changed into her space form, Cosmobug.

“Space power up! Because you can fly through the wind! Genius!”

Cosmobug smiled.

“Well, Stormy Weather is dazed but probably not for long.”

The two heroes noticed her about to grab her umbrella, but Chat Noir’s cat-like reflexes helped him snatch it first.

“Oh no you don’t!”

Ice Noir broke the umbrella over his knee.

“I don’t think she will be as mobile without her powers.”

Stormy Weather tried to stand but slipped on the icy floor she had created.

“Let’s just make our way to the boss,” Cosmobug said. She used the jet on her back to swoop up Ice Noir and fly slowly down the icy hall.

“Just like you to sweep me off my feet. But don’t think I will be a smitten kitten like usual.”

“Oh? Is that so?” The bug heroine raised an eyebrow. “It’s hard to imagine that you haven’t been dreaming about this scenario.”

“It helps that you aren’t riding a horse with the wind blowing in your hair,” Chat Noir joked back, catching Ladybug’s teasing.

Cosmobug quickly moved them to a part of the hall where there was no ice. Both undid their potion transformations, reverting back to their usual hero forms.

“Not keeping the jetpack?” Chat Noir asked. “It is really cool.”

“The room halls are pretty limited, and there's not much mobility, otherwise I might have,” Ladybug confessed.

The two heroes took a moment to catch their breaths and figure out their surroundings.

“We should thank Stormy Weather.”

The cat looked at his partner skeptically, remembering how a few minutes ago, the wind had nearly sent him flying through a brick wall.

“What makes you say that?”

“Lila probably had Stormy Weather out and about to flush out other people in the school and make sure the area was difficult to traverse. She likely sent out a bunch of other akuma to do the same, which means her forces are scattered and we have a better shot of dealing with her with fewer obstacles.”

Chat Noir nodded. He would not have deduced such a thing from one encounter with a weather akuma.

“Good to know, so the plan is to locate her and save the day.”

“No need to figure out where she is, I already have a good idea where she should be.”

Chat Noir noticed Ladybug had already started moving. He quickly followed behind, though he didn’t need an explanation this time. He already knew where Ladybug was heading — to his homeroom class, but he couldn’t say that without revealing what he knew.

_____________________________________________________________

‘This was a ridiculous decision.’

That was the thought running through Chloé’s mind as she ran for her life from a large group of Reflekta clones.

The two or three she had run into early were easy to avoid, but now it seemed like a horde of those tacky clones. And all of the ice that surrounded certain hallways made it impossible to traverse. She was limited in her running space and she was running out. But what made it all worse was that now those Reflekta copies had adjusted to running.

“HOW CAN YOU RUN IN THOSE HEELS!?” Chloé screamed as she ran down the hall.

She just had to try and be a hero. Why was she even doing this? The assistant probably got turned into one of those gross clones or got masked like those other students. She could have just sat back and just waited for Ladybug and Chat noir to find her or let them handle it.

“You can’t run forever” The crowd of clones sang in Rather impressive and creepy harmony.

Chloé took a turn down the hall and went into the door of the nearest room.

She closed the door and locked it before smelling the musty wet air.

“What the… EWW!” She spat in disgust as she realized she had locked herself in a janitor’s closet.

“Why did it have to be in such a gross smelly room?” she moaned.

Unfortunately, her comments caught the attention of the crowd chasing her.

She heard banging on the door.

“You can’t hide, we will find.”

Chloe put her back to the door to keep them out and felt herself slide down it in despair.

Was this how it was going to end? Getting turned into one of those fashion nightmares after hiding out in such a rank smelling closet? She didn’t even save… wait. She did save someone. She saved that old man. It hadn't been glamorous, but she did manage to save at least one person.

“I guess I did do something good after all. May not have been exceptional… but it was something.” Chloé smiled for a brief moment.

She took a moment to look at the positives, Ladybug and Chat Noir would likely come in and save the day, plus there were those other two heroes. Perhaps that would be enough. But she had to admit, finding solace in that was getting harder to do when the smell of the closet was destroying her nostrils. Just then, she remembered she had some nice perfume in her bag that she could spray to alleviate the smell.

“Well, at least I won’t smell awful when they capture me.”

She put her hand in her bag and felt around for her perfume. As she searched, she felt an unfamiliar object in her designer handbag. She pulled it out.

“What is this?”

She noticed a note on top of it. It was a bit dark to read so she pulled out her phone and turned on her flashlight.

“Return to Ladybug after mission?”

Chloé’s eyes went wide. Could this be what she thought it was? How was it possible? She didn’t have time to question it.

She opened the box and out came a floating bee creature, who Chloé recognized right away. It was real.

“Pollen!” Chloé exclaimed with cheer.

“It has been a while, my queen.” the bee kwami said.

Chloé would have loved to revel in this moment more but she knew that door was going to burst open any minute. She needed to be the bee heroine.

“As much as I would love to talk more, we need to hurry. We have some akuma clones that need bashing.”

“Right away, my queen!”

Chloe put the bee miraculous in her hair.

“Pollen, Buzz on!”

_____________________________________________________________

“It is a good thing there are so many copies,” Ryuuko stated as she leaped over a few Reflekta copies.

Viperion swerved and dodged the replicas of his sister’s akumatized form while avoiding getting caught in the bubbles that froze them and floated them up in the air.

Deadzone had been doing a lot of friendly fire thanks to its single minded obsession.

“After this, I really hope I never have to see my sister take this form again,” Viperion commented.

“Right, Adrien mentioned that you were Juleka’s brother. Older brother, right?”

“Older twin brother. But yes.”

“Really? You seem older.”

“I am a grade ahead of her, but we are the same age,” he explained.

“Could have sworn you were at least a year or two older.”

“A lot of people think the same thing. Even my mom forgets, sometimes. Rose, my sister’s girlfriend, says I radiate ‘big brother energy’ or something.”

“You learn something new.”

“What about you? Any siblings?”

“Sadly no. I was an only child.”

“Too bad, I think you would have made a great older sister,” Viperion encouraged

“A snake charmer, are we?”

“Well I am the snake, and I am not charming myself, so I think the more correct term would be dragon charmer.”

“Change that to fun killer because you killed my fun right there.”

Before Viperion could retort, they had made their way down to the end of the hall and noticed that it was frozen off.

“Dead end,” they say at the same time.

“No, Deadzone.”

The two turn to see the deadly akuma amalgamation pointing its blaster at them.

The two heroes looked at the deadly akuma.

“Any ideas?” Ryuuko questioned.

“Just one.”

Viperion moved his hand to his bracelet.

“Second chance!” Viperion activated his power.

“Now we have some options.” Viperion explained.

The akuma fired a bubble blast at Ryuuko, and she was frozen.

“Second chance!”

Things reset to how they were a few seconds before. Viperion grabbed Ryuuko and pulled her out of the way of the oncoming bubble blast.

“Thanks. For a minute there, I thought that thing had me.”

“It did, but I used my power to stop that. we still have to get out of here.”

“Look out!”

Ryuuko got hit with another bubble as they got up, protecting him from an attack.

“This might take a few attempts…”

_____________________________________________________________

Hawkmoth paced inside his lair.

Mayura was out there, his son was out there… and things were not going the way he planned. Masquerade seems to be building a base for herself and was more concerned with that than getting the miraculous. Adrien is MIA, and Mayura isn’t responding.

“I might need to step in. But there is a lot of risk in this. Far too many variables that I can't account for”

Hawkmoth never liked leaving his lair. It had too many risks to it. After Heroes' Day, he had nearly been exposed. And after that fiasco in Shanghai he didn’t want to risk getting taken out by his own akuma. He had already taken plenty of risks that had blown up in his face. Would this be another one of those times he would need to risk his miraculous?

“But it could also be just what is needed to beat Ladybug and Chat Noir once and for all.”

With an akuma this powerful, the two would likely have to use their special powers multiple times. If he can just locate them and wait for them to do so, he could potentially gain the advantage. Maybe Mayura was on to something with her actions.

Hawkmoth walked to the window.

“There will be a right time. I just need to wait for it.”

He felt an itch in the back of his neck. He wasn’t sure what it was but he could tell one thing, something big was going to go down, and he needed to figure out the right call soon or it could cost him dearly.

_____________________________________________________________

“…And that’s her plan.” Simularé finished. “As for Ladybug and Chat Noir… I am unsure. I lost track of them before I was given a new assignment. But they are in the building and they have not tried to leave.”

Mayura smiled at the information. While it was quite unfortunate that she didn’t have the exact location of the two heroes, it was good to know that they were still in the building, and Lila’s plan was certainly something interesting.

“Indeed, that is quite a clever plan. Ensuring everyone in the school couldn’t escape was pretty smart. You likely had a few escapes anyway, with how clumsy some of the akuma were. You are fortunate that neither one was Ladybug or Chat Noir. Still, though, it isn’t your master’s fault for that. They are basically mindless puppets. But then again, it seems that there might be zero escapes since there seems to be no new reports on the subject of a school takeover.”

Simularé let the peacock villainess muse, analyzing her movements as if trying to figure out any advantage it could handle.

“So, the next step now that all communications are cut is to send out a message that Ladybug and Chat Noir have already been defeated, so as to cause massive despair in order to create even more minions. Sounds a bit derivative, don’t you think?” Mayura mused.

Simularé said nothing. It held its tongue. Deep down, it knew that starting any dispute with this peacock was not wise. Especially given that crazy power she had over their being.

“Still, it is quite a plan. And with all those extra akuma recruited and Ladybug and Chat noir cut off from their guardian, they wouldn’t be able to get any sort of back up. They wouldn’t be able to put up much of a fight before all of Paris is under Masquerade’s thumb. I approve of the plan.”

“I am glad you do,” Simularé stated with a forced smile.

Their conversation was cut short when an akuma appeared. Seeing one it did not recognize, the artist akuma prepared to fight. But thankfully the shapeshifting sentimonster stepped in.

“Stand down Evillustrator, this one is not our enemy,” Simularé ordered.

Evillustrator eased and walked over.

“Masquerade has ordered that we start reinforcing the building. She wants this place to be like a fortress,” he parroted.

Mayura looked at the artist.

A fortress? Yes, Simularé mentioned that Masquerade wanted to reinforce the school so that she could ensure Ladybug and ChatNoir would have less chance of escape.

Simularé nodded at the akuma servant.

“Alright, so she wants us to drop the illusion, then?”

“She wants the place to be like a fortress.”

“Go ahead and start,” Simularé motioned. She figured that her master likely didn’t care about the illusion much as she was prepared for stage two. But she would maintain it for a bit.

The akuma moved to the end of the roof and begins working to reinforce the walls

Mayura began moving to the door of the roof to get back down into the school.

“Tell your boss I will be heading to her, and she best be welcoming,” Mayura ordered.

“As you command,” Simularé replied, hiding a large amount of anger and resentment towards the blue bird.

As soon as the blue peacock is out of sight.

Simularé contacts its master.

“Simularé, what is going on? Did Evilustrator reach you?”

“Yes. He is working to make this place a fortress. You want me to maintain the illusion, right?”

“I am about to go public shortly. After I make the announcement. Drop the illusion and make sure this place is a full-on fortress. After that is done, report back to me.

“Yes master. By the way, I had an idea.”

“Oh?”

Simularé smiled sinisterly. She was going to show Peacock why she was sorely mistaken.

“I will report the details to you shortly.”

_____________________________________________________________

“Everything is set up,” Robostus noted.

“Excellent. Let’s do it now.”

The Reflekta camera crew was all set, and Gamer had set it up so the moment they went live, every screen in Paris would show Masquerade.

Masquerade got off her call with Simularé. Something seemed a bit off with her sentimonster but she was intrigued that she had a plan.

“We are live in 5….4…3….2…” the gamer stated before pressing the go live button.

Masquerade smiled.

“Good afternoon, citizens of Paris. You may not know who I am, but don’t worry! You will be very familiar with me very soon. I am Masquerade, and I have decided to make Paris my personal kingdom.”

She paused to let that sink in.

“Now you are likely very alarmed by this declaration and that is normal. It will only be a matter of time before I spread my influence to everyone in Paris.”

She paused to let her words hang in the air before continuing.

“Do not be afraid, I am no monster. I plan on being a fair leader. All I ask is for your undying admiration and absolute loyalty. After that, you are free to live your lives as you normally would. Do not resist and you will have no problems. However, if you do… well, I can’t guarantee your safety.”

Masquerade took a calm breath before finishing.

“This last message goes out to the heroes of Paris, Ladybug and Chat Noir. I know you are here, I know you believe you will stop me, and I know you have allies here. But you will fall to me. Your days of superheroing have come to an end, your miraculous will be taken from you, and I will expose you as the failures you are,” Masquerade finished with venom.

She ended the transmission.

“Now make sure that it is being looped,” she ordered.

“Already is,” Gamer confirmed. “And panic is starting to rise.”

Masquerade smiled. Her plan was already working.

It may have seemed like a simple ego boost, but that speech of hers was a crucial part of her plan. Her charm bracelet could hyper focus on anyone that was akumatized in the past and have their biggest insecurities exposed. But that one by one process took far too long, if the hope of the entire populace of Paris was already demoralized. Then all she needed to do was send out her masks and let them take hold. And all she needed to do was go out there and send the masks.

She could already feel massive amounts of negative emotion from outside of the school. As soon as she headed out of the school, she could easily go and get more akuma soldiers. She could feel her bracelet trembling with all the potential additions.

She was prepared to leave, activating one of the charms to give her black angel wings, but something she remembered caused her to stop.

“Simularé I am moving to phase two of my plan. Get down here.”

It only took a few seconds for the sentimonster to jump from the roof and knock on the window.

One for the Reflekta copies opened the large window to let in what appeared to be Dark Cupid, before it shifted into the phantasm form that was its base.

“Right on cue. So, what is this plan you wanted to suggest?” Masquerade inquired. “And be sure it is not a waste of my time.”

“What if I told you I could get you a Miraculous?”

The sentimonster could feel that Masquerade was very pleased with that idea.

_____________________________________________________________

37 attempts.

It took thirty-seven resets before Viperion figured out what they needed to do.

“Ryuuko, follow my directions exactly,” Viperion instructed. “I know how to win.”

He quickly pulled her towards him to make sure she dodged the first bubble.

The akuma was surprised by the avoidance.

Viperion smiled.

“Your next line is, ‘How did you know I was going to blast at her?'” Viperion stated confidently.

“How did you know I was going to blast at her?” Deadzone parroted in shock before realizing they had said exactly what Viperion had said they would say.

The dragon heroine looked at the determined expression of the snake. She could see experience and certainty in his posture. All her years of fencing taught Kagami the art of reading body language, and the hero in front of her was someone that exuded an aura of confidence. She knew she could trust him.

“Alright, Sassy Snake, I will let you take the reins.” Ryuuko responded.

“Jump to the left in 2 seconds and start running.”

Ryuuko followed the instructions and sure enough avoided yet another bubble attack from Deadzone.

“Head to their left and bounce off the locker at the end.”

Ryuuko dashed past the akuma and jumped as Viperion instructed, perfectly avoiding the barrage of blasts sent her way. Viperion had perfectly mirrored her motion as he explained the next steps.

“Now somersault twice and draw your sword.”

Ryuuko somersaulted as Viperion leaped over her and the dragon turned to draw her sword, now on the other side of the hall.

“Now as soon as it fires a bubble at you, activate your wind! No matter what! I believe in you Ryuuko.”

The last words seemed a bit strange to the fencer. What did he mean by that?

“Will you shut up!?” Deadzone shouted before sending a bubble at Viperion.

“For my final glimpse into the future, you will say, ‘Not so tough now are ya?'”

The bubble contacted Viperion.

“Viperion!” Ryuuko cried out.

The bubble enveloped the snake and floated to the ceiling, taking his frozen form along with it.

“No…” Ryuuko muttered. She looked down in sorrow.

I failed to protect him. He ended up protecting me. He had been backing me up to make sure I wouldn’t do anything reckless.

Ryuuko felt her mind flashback to a few days ago which now seemed almost like it happened a year ago. They had made such a good team back then and now… they get a chance to be heroes again and she couldn’t cover him like he did her.

“Ha, not so tough now are ya?” Deadzone stated with confidence.

Ryuuko’s ears perked up at the statement. That was the line Viperion predicted they would say. That means… Viperion knew this would happen! Which meant his previous statement was to show he planned this. She knew what to do.

Deadzone turned its attention to Ryuuko.

“Don’t worry, you will join him shortly.”

Deadzone fired another bubble right at her, but this time Ryuuko wasn’t moving. She was at the perfect distance to do what she needed to do.

Ryuuko smiled.

“Wind dragon!”

The dragon-themed heroine turned into a cloud and blew the bubble right back at the akuma.

“What!”

The bubble encapsulated the akuma, causing it to freeze in place and then float to the ceiling.

Ryuuko returned to her original form and smiled, seeing how they had finally incapacitated the akuma.

“We did it, Viperion. We took them down. I'm sorry it cost you so much… I won't let you down!”

She raised her blade, upon realizing that her partner was indeed trapped in a bubble.

“Wait a minute…”

Ryuuko walked underneath Viperion’s bubble. She wasn’t entirely sure if this would work, since akuma magic was weird and often unpredictable, but it would make a lot of sense if it did.

“It is a bubble, so this should work right?” Ryuuko questioned as she used the tip of her sword to touch the bubble. She pushed it forward a bit causing the bubble to pop.

Her partner dropped to the floor.

“Ugh… my head.”

“You’re okay!”

Ryuuko hugged her friend, but then realized her sudden action and quickly jumped back up. A bit flustered, she could swear Marinette was rubbing off on her.

“I am glad you are alright, friend. You had me concerned — slightly,” Ryuuko corrected herself.

Viperion was surprised by the quick motions but managed to steady himself.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course. But make it quick, we will need to get a move on.”

“Okay… Who am I?”

Ryuuko froze at the question. She could see the confusion on his face. He was completely serious.

“Oh… that is not good at all.”

_____________________________________________________________

Masquerade is on phase two of her plan and Simularé is starting to make waves.

Who will get to the akuma first, Mayura or our heroes.

What will happen to Viperion now that his memory is gone?

Will Queen bee be the right choice?

Reblog and Comment . Your support is invaluable in keeping this fic alive. And I love hearing your thoughts on it

#ml #ml fic #miraculous ladybug #ml fanfiction #ladrien #miraculous fanfiction #drama #ladybug #chat noir #slight ladynoir #fan akuma #masquerade akuma #ml au

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sparrowminder · 3 years ago

Note

So why is ticked tabby the only tabby pattern which changes its appearance depending on if it's heterozygous or homozygous?

It isn't!

Now, if it were, that would actually be a fairly reasonable thing to happen. Incomplete dominance is caused when one copy of the gene can't completely fill the role that two copies would, because less of the needed protein is reduced. Since ticked seems to overall have the function of erasing/blurring the markings, it would be reasonable for two copies to do more than one copy. It just comes down to what exactly it's doing and how the proteins interact that causes incomplete vs complete dominance.

However, that is not how it works.

You know why I think this? Because I've never seen an agouti tabby in any breed that wasn't specifically bred for the pattern at some point. If it only takes two copies of the ticked allele, every crossing of two ticked cats should have a 25% shot at giving us an agouti tabby. We should see them pop up in any random feral population and breed with ticked. Yet you never see an agouti tabby Maine Coon, or any other breed where ticked is an accepted pattern but they haven't been bred for less markings.

As far as I can tell, the source of this misconception is a 2010 paper on tabby markings, which really grinds my gears because it's also the one that demonstrated very nicely and clearly that spotted is polygenic! Yet I had to dig that up myself - literally no other source had spotted as polygenic before I found the paper in my quest to edit a Wikipedia article - while the bit about ticked got passed around.

The researchers used Abyssinians as their ticked stock and then proceeded to like...only do an F1 generation and then backcross them? They didn't even go to F2, which is the generation which really tells you conclusively how the gene you're working with behaves. They didn't consider the possibility of polygenes or another modifier gene, which is wild considering their conclusion with spotted.

This is the paper, which I will be doing a close reading and explanation of another time to fully explain why I think some conclusions are valid and others aren't: https://academic.oup.com/genetics/article/184/1/267/6062806

In the meantime, if anyone wants to pose specific questions about the paper I'm happy to explain! I just don't want to write a several thousand word video script on tumblr. :p

#cat genetics #ticked tabby #agouti tabby

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osakanone · 6 months ago

Text

Update 3: It keeps happening

ok, I've been tagged in this enough times that i've finally read everything and feel like responding FIRST, I admire your passion, @osakanone. But I'd advise you redirect that passion to enjoyment and not competition.

I DON'T want to insult you, but I'll just say:

you seem young.

lol, lmao even

The demographic you are counting as "shippers," and thus the units you are measuring popularity of the aforementioned ships by, are fanfic writers.

The majority of whom aren't English speaking or American, meaning whatever records have survived are a tiny shadow of what's actually out there.

Supernatural is just, not a recognized name outside of America or Tumblr. Everybody knows of Gundam.

It gives you numbers to work with, but it's not fair to say that the number of fics directly relates to number of fans of a ship. Writing is a huge undertaking that not every ship enjoyer undertakes, and not only that, it's a strange metric to focus on

Uhhh because producing metrics for those isn't really possible, given the tools to quantize these kinds of things are relatively new, and Gundam is much MUCH older than them?

what about fan art? What about DOUJINSHI???

Going by doujinshi, there's been more made than there have supernatural derivative works by something like a factor of 10x or so?

Gundam, as a Japanese property, has its own unique fandom ecosystem. I'm an American who's been an anime fan a loooooong time, and I don't know all the ins and outs, but fanfiction doesn't seem to be a popular medium there. Rather, doujin is king.

False: Light novels are the name given to fanfiction, and in the last 15 years its become popular to change the characters names half way through, so LNs are inherently based in fandom culturally speaking -- and light novels not only dominate doujinshi (and have since the popularization of the internet) but they also dominate how anime gets made now which is why anime is somewhat incestuous in its themes and genres now to the point where the medium makes self-aware digs at this. This is also how the genre of visual novels kinda found its wings too as a means of bridging the two, and then later also crossing over with drama CDs.

Doujin *seem* king, because doujin are easier to translate than dense tomes of light-novels which by the way are easier to make than doujinshi are by virtue of the skill-floor being significantly lower and the print/cost density being significantly higher.

What this results in is a huge percieved asymmetry of the popularity of doujinshi abroad vs the popularity of light-novels domestically.

And let's talk about fan works... Why do they exist? Because, despite how much you enjoy a piece of media, you see something missing.

So this is born of a narrative of creativity as a means of filling a percieved void (which is an idea rooted in productivity/commercialist framing and is a relatively new idea that doesn't exist everywhere internationally), rather than as being inherently additive.

I highly recommend you read Art & Fear by David Bayles & Ted Orland for an alternative view of creativity.

You don't transcribe a show when you write fanfic. It's a creative process.

You absoloutely do if you're operating in the construct of a setting, and characters are behaving in ways which are in "in line" with expectation, otherwise the entire construct of fanfiction collapses, or you have to create a distinction to indicate your authorial intent.

Talking about doujin - a visible, money-making part of fandom

Uhhh historically doujinshi aimed to sell at a net neutral purely to cover their operating costs, and its only since 2012ISH that doujinshi publications have really become profitable?

When you couple this with how high risk doujinshi as a medium, and market, it isn't really considered a "money making market", which is why you don't see circles behaving as businesses with business expansion models the same way you do in say, manga -- even in areas where original manga is produced of an NSFW nature to cater to doujinshi-market interest?

Most of the money made in doujinshi is via resale markets, and circles don't get a cut of that money.

But why do "fujoshi" exist? These "rotten women"? Because they see gay love where a homophobic, majority straight audience (by which I mean society) refuse to.

Uhhh...

“The very first fans of the original Gundam were young women. Definitely not the PlaModel enthusiasts. With both Gundam and Raideen, of the first fans to be active, 90% were girls. Among a gathering of 1000 fans, about 100 were boys. Around when the first cour ended, young women began to gather to the after recording studio. It took until much later for male fans make an uproar, around the time series got canceled. I thought: You’re late to the party!” - Yoshiyuki Tomino http://dargol.blog3.fc2.com/blog-entry-4241.html

And we won't get into a conversation about "fetishizing homosexuality" and "authorial intent."

Then... Why are you even bringing it up...?

This is a very very weird argument you're trying to make, and this optics game is very strange.

Please make substantive arguments.

Maybe Tomino would have included explicit gay representation in his shows if he could, but... we all know that Gundam is not that.

Uhhh... Watch Char's Counterattack. Again, look up the historical context of Yukio Mishima. Char Aznable is very aggressively bisexually coded by Japanese social expression every chance the creator gets. It absoloutely is not ambiguous.

Thus all the gay fanworks, in which fans make up for what canon lacks. And you probably don't all ship the same ships. Or agree on characterization. And anyway, "The work of many artists, designers, writers, even videos of events are just lost media because we didn't have the archival mentality adults develop" ....... When I was a teenager, I was saving jpegs of my fav yaois to my PC en masse. Archival ain't just an adult mindset; shipping isn't majority teenagers. If even the creators of fan works aren't holding onto their work and reuploading on modern, supported sites... that speaks to a lack of care, not just a lack of foresight.

You literally can't have foresight on something which has never happened before when the prevailing attitude of the internet pushed by big business at the time was "once its on the internet, its around forever" with linkrot not even being well understood until the post-mortem which actually came AFTER this era.

Why are you arguing this point, where is this even going?

FFN went to adult fanfiction.net or live journal or ao3, and it was up to the authors to transfer their works themselves (you DO NOT reupload someone else's work FOR THEM). So if they didn't... it was they who moved on.

Oh okay you're upset about numbers.

You lost the poll. Which one of these two franchises are people talking about. Which gets regular numbers across all of social media, and isn't a dying ember held onto by a small minority?

REITERATING AGAIN: the number of fanfics does not equal the number of shippers

Its representative of a larger whole, and I communicated the relationship of that whole and how proportionally Gundam Wing's shipping alone way back was FAR more popular than destiel had ever been adjusted for per capita of internet users.

You aren't indicating anything to the contrary unless there's some mysterious hidden cabal of destiel shippers waiting in the rafters which you can validate with evidence, history and statistics as I have.

Gundam Witch Mercury premiered in 2022!! Destiel became a ship in 2008!!!!!!

And Gundam aired in 1979 and has a massive international cultural inertia which is incredibly gay, what's your point?

With all due respect, it was not a fair fight nor is a Tumblr poll an accurate census.

Can you quantitively or logically substantiate why? I'd genuinely like to understand your reasoning here.

"urgh this is just a trend tumblr will get over it and go back to supernatural" I certainly have. I never got around to watching this Gundam show, though I've heard a bit about it - only great things. Meanwhile, I am still obsessing over Supernatural (and particularly Destiel) four years after the show ended, and over a decade since I started watching the show.

Okay? Not sure how that's relevant here?

I don't expect everyone to share my obsession.

Sure, likewise. I'm not particularly obsessed with GWitch, I just really like yuri overall and I like Gundam overall. I wouldn't ever call myself an obsessive -- I reserve that for other works.

Tumblr may be the destiel site

Its not. The rest of us who aren't destiel shippers have never referred to it as such, nor will we ever. We just kind of see you vibing and tolerate that you call the wider site the thing, and let you get on with it. You being a vocal minority doesn't speak for a silent majority.

Tumblr is not "the destiel site".

but no one is enforcing ship supremacy.

Then what is your entire response

It was a bad idea to start a fight over ships to begin with!

I'm not fighting, I'm debating.

Again, "Sulemio" has existed 2 years; Destiel has existed 16!!! It's just basic respect for legacy.

Gundam is 45. Where's your basic respect for legacy now? /s

You think I ship Spirk?? No. I never got into Star Trek.

I did, and I do.

I don't find Shatner and Nemoy attractive or compelling, personally.

Your loss.

But do I go kick the hornet's nest? No.

You're again, acting like you speak for all of tumblr. You don't: You speak for a minority of users who feel they have some sort of cultural ownership of the platform.

Most shippers are able to be polite enough to not egregiously and erroneously claim an entire social media platform is "their website".

I'm sorry that this is how you learn of how you are percieved by other fandoms for your past of behaviour. Its unfortunate.

Now, you're casting aspersions like Destiel shippers are "waspy Americans."

No, these are conversations I have heard about destiel shippers from other fandoms. I have heard these conversations for years now. Your behaviour does nothing to discredit the things I have heard.

As though it isn't also a global phenomenon (which just isn't impressive these days, with the internet. What ISN'T a global phenomenon?).

Gundam is probably going to outlive both of us, and has a hollywood movie in production. It absoloutely is a global phenomenon, and one with an impressive history which regularly outperforms Starwars in many markets. Think about that for a second.

Spn also has a female majority audience. We are not so different. Only in size.

Really now? You... You realize Gundam's a work which talks about the history of how government functions, and has very strong leftist political messaging and has since its very beginning, right?

Verses... "Family bonds are important, and don't end with blood", which is I think a very minor message in Gundam that's already communicated by episode 25 of the original show's run and is just assumed to be true for the entire thing?

So can we not make this about race? Or ethnicity? Or country? Or men vs women? Let's just not insult entire fanbases! You don't make yourself big by trying to make others feel small.

Naming an attribute I have heard describe to me by other fandoms isn't "making this about <attribute>", its saying "hey, this is how you are currently being percieved by others and you should maybe work on this"

P.S. I never heard of Yukio Mishima before, but reading the Wikipedia page on his Forbidden Color book, without much context... why are we upholding misogynist, infidelious gays as great gay storytelling? You know the root of homophobia is male misogyny. All my homies hate gay misogynists.

Oh simple:

He's an enormous figure in the Japanese neo-bushido movement and nationalist movement. If you're telling a story where nationalists are the villains, you're going to use someone like that as a basis for your counter-argument.

Depiction is not endorsement, and while Mishima believed in those views, his work ironically serves as a phenomenal exploration of Japanese hierarchal abuse of the old using the young for their own devices and twisting them to their own ends -- which again, is often at the root of many leftist and right-wing ideologies as an inciting event.

Char's arc in Gundam served to reframe Mishima in this manner, as a means of exploring how both left-wing and right-wing responses have similar causes and why they emerge differently, and this is core to Gundam's political messaging.

Please don't be reductive.

tldr; nature is NOT healing. same shit, different day. there'll be peace when we are done, which is how you know we ain't done yet 🙄 😒

Nature is healing alright.

The scar puritus is in bloom tonight, for sure.

Look forward to hearing from you

-- A fairly casual Gundam fan

UPDATE: The Destiel/Supernats aren't taking this well -- explaining my reasoning for the history I gave, and why Destiel is not the big bitch of shipping that it thinks it is

An update to THIS:

"This is just a marketing thing, Gundam is a giant robot show, only men watch it!"

Gundam's fandom is silent majoratively feminine:

"But its not gay, its about giant robots!"

Gundam is very gay. The entire climax of the first story is a riff of Yukio Mishima lmao

The climax of the Amuro/Char arc of Universal Century Gundam (expounding from first Gundam circa 1979), Char's Counterattack is somewhat on the history of Japanese disillusion with liberalism which notably climaxed with the life and history of Yukio Mishima.

You know. THAT Yukio Mishima.

The one who wrote FORBIDDEN COLOURS.

It was so gay that the fanfiction inspired by it became its own damn anime:

And that's just Charmuro, let alone Charma or a billion other ships just in OG Gundam alone.

We've got This is before we get to Guin Sard Lineford and Yamagi Glimerton (both verrrrry gay), Tieria Erde (a genderqueer trans-coded character who transcends gender entirely in their arc) and a bunch of others.

Gundam was always gay.

"I don't see the numbers"

"That doesn't seem like much, Supernat is at least 2x this"

Sooooo the amount of content you do see isn't representative of how much even got written, given FFN had a huge content purge.

First, let's start with the relative proportion of users: If we're analysing the concept of fandom, we first have to look at who had access to the internet in the first place to publish works.

Yeah that's a pretty sizable difference.

Wing's fandom actually exploded in 2000, but got capped VERY early, distributing itself to fansites when FFN fragmented and collapsed.

Why?

Content purges!

"Isn't there some sort of online archive of this stuff?"

Sure, if you wanna dig through tons and tons of Angelfire and Geocities pages which have mostly disappeared. Otherwise, no! There is no archive of this stuff?

"Why?"

They've since rolled back on this but it means there's a massive amount of lost media out there, including the discussions on it and thus there's an entire history you didn't get to experience.

Its actually very difficult to reach people who've been involved, since it was so long ago that very few people remember, and a sizable proportion of that population have actually died.

"But what about SF fandoms? We have ancient records of stuff like Spirk!"

See unlike physical media like zines, when a server goes offline or there's a data-loss, or something like that there is no surviving copy of the thing in question.

The net result is we have this weird hole where content just vanished, and its now considered lost media. The work of many artists, designers, writers, even videos of events are just lost media because we didn't have the archival mentality adults develop.

You're not gonna hear about all the X-Files stuff or Frasier fanfictions or GW stuff because of these purges and the lack of physical media. FFN users were teens, not adults with resources like US/EU/JP SF fans, who had archival tendencies due to their long history.

So there is this supermassive black-hole in the history of fanfiction running between 1998, and 2008 and some of the only evidence of it are worksafe works and fansites which the owners have long since forgotten about because folks moved on. Moving on is a normal part of fandom.

So to those of you just saying "supernatural is losing to a pair of dumb anime girls" or "urgh this is just a trend tumblr will get over it and go back to supernatural"...

Uhhhhh no they won't, actually?

Supernat's fans mostly seem to be waspy Americans. Gundam is kind of a global phenomenon, one which has traditionally had a silent majority female audience, a vocal minority male audience -- and every time that majority has spoken up, its coincided with a content purge, or a TOS change that mysteriously biases American derived fiction over Japanese derived fiction.

Funny that.

tl;dr:

NATURE IS HEALING

#sulemio #destiel #g witch #discourse #fandom culture #fandom #history

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snifflesthemouse · 3 years ago

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This morning, I read an article titled “I went undercover in the sinister world of Meghan Markle hate accounts" posted to Refinery 29. The title gives the impression of a journalist disguising one’s self as a “Meghan Markle hater” for the sake of getting to the bottom of something. However, the content of the article is nothing like its title.

Before I go further, let me stress the importance of perspective. My post isn’t an attack on the article’s author. I’ve never even heard of the author before now, and I’ve no right or reason to attack a perfect stranger because I vehemently disagree with the content of their work. Making assumptions about someone solely on what they write is lazy and sloppy in my opinion. I may be lazy and sloppy, but a hypocrite I try not to be. Therefore, go forward remembering my issues are with content, not creator.

The article starts out explaining the origins of the term “Megxit”. It continues with other hashtags, conspiracy theories, and so on. The article even mentions various media platforms “attacking" the Duchess, as well as crude posts witnessed by the author.

Then the name dropping begins. First with Murky Meg, then Sue Blackhurst, then According2Taz, then Skippyv20 on Tumblr, then Yankee Wally. Eventually, names of Royal Rota journalists are dropped. Then people like Angela Levin and Omid Scobie get mentioned, with interviews from the latter. Instead of an undercover sting, we get a “Who’s Who" of Megxit, a few anonymous Sussex Squad quotations, and Omid trying his best to be fair.

What this article accomplishes is very little when it comes to objectivity. The title is a misconception, and the content essentially paints targets on the backs of the people the author carelessly considers “Meghan Markle Haters". The article reduces anyone who disagrees with Meghan’s behavior as racist, misogynist, conspiracy theorist nutters. So, not only is the content of the article sloppy and lazy, it also lacks originality. We’ve all heard this sad song-and-dance number a million times.

I guess at face value, it becomes very easy, effortless really, for outsiders looking in to reduce an entire group of people with similar views to the basic stereotypes as old as time. It takes very little thought, consideration, or critical analysis, to assume things because they seem to correlate. But correlation is not causation. Just because some people opposing of Meghan Markle’s behavior happen to be racist doesn’t mean every single opposing person is also racist. Again, lazy and sloppy.

Just like assuming every single Meghan Markle fan is also vegan, anti-monarchy, feminist, woke warriors is downright sloppy and lazy. This author has personally interacted with and found common ground with Sussex Squad people many times. Some even became social media friends. They believe what they do, and I believe what I do. We do not agree with most things regarding Harry and Meghan, but we do agree to disagree and be civil.

So, contrary to the article, not all people “hate" Meghan Markle just because they detest her behavior. It’s important to remember extremes exist for all spectrums. Every topic, especially those politicized or made popular by media platforms, have extremes. There is no denying the fact that there are people who hate Meghan Markle because of her ethnicity. Those extremists who hate Meghan for her ethnicity ironically do not discriminate, though. If they hate her for her ethnicity, they hate ALL people of that same ethnicity.

On the flip side of this coin, is the other extreme. The face is the same on each side because the face represents extremism. There is no denying the fact that there are extremists who see anyone opposing Meghan as racists. Extremists who, by default, view every issue in the world through the lens of racism. While racism is a serious problem that deserves no place in society, assuming racism is the root cause of every conflict is also lazy and sloppy. And the same could be said that these extremists do not discriminate, either. If they see race as the only issue for why people “hate" Meghan Markle, they see race as the only issue for most everything.

The problem with both extremes is when everything and everyone is reduced to racial identity, racism only continues to exist. A racist using skin color as a disqualifier perpetuates racism. Assuming racism is the only reason behind disdain for someone only perpetuates racism. Focusing on race or racism allows no room for content of character.

Especially when people defend Meghan Markle being the victim of racism with a racist rule. When opposing critics say “I didn’t even know she was Black" or suggest her physical features, her Hollywood CV, or past involvement with Black causes were nonexistent before she became a duchess or stepped down from being a working royal, the extremists on the other side often resort to the One Drop Rule.

Which means their defense for calling Meghan Markle “haters" racists, even though they might have never knew she was mixed race, is a form of racism. The One Drop Rule was borne from the Reconstruction Era post-Civil War. The “rule" essentially said anyone who appeared to have Black features were considered Black.

The One Drop Rule was the precursor and eventual backbone to Jim Crow Laws of the South. It was used to oppress and segregate Americans based on physical appearance. Considering most people who never heard of Meghan before Harry came along were ignorant to her mixed heritage, it seems grossly negligent to assume race is the real issue. How can one be racist toward Meghan when they didn’t know she was mixed race? This author wasn’t aware of Meghan’s ethnicity prior to it being pointed out (by her and Harry. Repeatedly.), mainly because this author didn’t care.

Like so many, when I first saw Meghan and Harry together for the engagement interview, I was more excited about a fellow American joining the Royal Family. After learning she was biracial, well it was even better. It represented change and progress. Does that mean I saw the Royal Family as racists beforehand? No. It means I saw them as exactly the opposite. Had they been racist, she’d not be a duchess. Her being American and divorced was more a shock to me than being mixed.

The point of all this is there are extremists on every spectrum. For a journalist to say they went undercover, when in fact they did not, to expose the true motives behind Meghan Markle “haters", only to find they did very little to really understand the other side was disappointing. Not surprising, just disappointing. This could’ve been an excellent opportunity for someone to take the reigns and make bridges between two very passionate factions. Instead it became nothing more than a hit piece.

The article fails to acknowledge the possibility – no, the probability – that most people who object to Meghan Markle do so because of how she behaves. The article only considers one possibility behind this “hate". And by calling the objections “hate", the article in turn defines all criticisms as hate speech. Again, unoriginal, sloppy, and lazy.

So here we have it, yet another article grouping and stereotyping anyone who disapproves of Meghan and Harry as racist haters. Yet again, another article name dropping people “deemed racist haters", essentially painting even bigger targets on the backs of those people. Like they didn’t already have enough hate mail. Yet again, another sloppy, lazy, article that never digs below the surface to understand why instead of assuming it.

This isn’t new, it’s just another slop drop from the sensationalism machine that has replaced fair, legitimate journalism. It would be different if there weren’t so many questions surrounding the births. It would be different if Meghan Markle actually lived by the example she so vehemently preaches. It would be different if Meghan Markle would make amends with her own family before telling the world how they should treat people. It would be different if Meghan Markle were a strong woman instead of claiming to be one.

But it’s not different. She hasn’t spoken to her father since two days before her wedding three years ago. She denies the family connections that existed before her fame. She ghosts people once they are no longer of benefit. She preaches equality and universal service while using her title every chance given. She and her husband criticize the “family she never had" while naming their second child after that family’s Matriarch. All of those are behaviors that incite strong emotional responses. Behaviors. And behavior has no racial identity.

A final note… hypocrisy is the main reason people have issues with anything. When one group of people tells another group to stop attacking a public figure, while using assumptions as their crusade call, it’s hypocrisy. One cannot say “if you can’t take the heat, then shut up!” to another without being a hypocrite. When that happens, don’t be surprised when the same exact thing is said back. If Meghan or her fans can’t take the criticism, they shouldn’t participate in it. We all have the right to choose. Just like if I couldn’t handle the criticism, I’d not be writing this.

Life is not fair. The world is a dark, cruel place. When we expect the world to bend to the will of a few, we are setting ourselves above the majority. A strong woman would know this. A strong woman fighting for others would also know that the only person responsible for how one feels is one’s self. External feedback isn’t responsible for internal turmoil. Internal feedback is. That is all.

REFERENCE:

Amoako, A. (2021 June 11). I went undercover in the sinister world of Meghan Markle hate accounts. Refinery29. Retrieved from: https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/2021/06/10518195/megxit-meghan-markle-anti-fandom

#murky meg #megxit #yankeewally #prince harry #according2taz

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doctorbunny · 3 years ago

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MILGRAM theory time: Haruka!

This isn't going to go super in depth (famous last words) but there's a few heavily debated parts of Haruka's MV I want to share my findings/thoughts on because I think this is my new special interest and during my quest to get best boy's song to 1 million views I have been looking over his first MV with a fine tooth comb so to speak.

Disclaimer: As the Jackalope said in the "This is the MILGRAM" trailer, we don't necessarily know everyone's crime from just the first video, its possible that a lot of things will be re-contextualized in the second MV, however I am not psychic or bilingual and thus will only be working with content released before August 20th 2021 and translated into English (which could cause some language/cultural details to be lost on me as translation is not a 1 to 1 process).

TW for discussions of ableism, child abuse, murder and animal death. Also this is really long so sorry to all the people that follow me for non-MILGRAM stuff

Firstly, I want to start on the topic of Haruka as a person. He is disabled. He does not have 'the mind of a child' (although he is 17, making him legally a minor in both North America and Japan). He is not just 'child-like'. And he is not mentally ill (well he might be, in the sense that many disabilities like Haruka's have strong comorbidities [where a person has two or more conditions but neither directly causes the other] with anxiety, depression and PTSD, but usually when I see people talk about him 'struggling with mental illness' they go on to refer to aspects of his disability). Sometimes on tumblr, people like myself, will see canonical traits written into a character and identify them as being traits associated with our disabilities/mental illness and headcanon them as such. Sometimes this even involves saying things like "It's basically canon!" Although we understand that these characters were probably not the result of a writer intending to write a disabled person. When I say that Haruka is being written as a person with a neurodevelopmental disability, I mean the writer intended to write a disabled character and wrote them in a way that they wanted the audience to pick up on. As an autistic person (which is one of many neurodevelopmental disorders and also something I probably didn't have to specify because who else would be writing an essay about a series they got into a few days ago at 11 o'clock at night) I really like how Haruka has been written so far. There's definitely some parts of him that have been exaggerated so abled normies can pick up on his disability (namely how his MV 's main motif is really child-like drawings) but the writers also included a lot of smaller details I appreciate like how it is noted he avoids eye contact when talking to other people and is depicted as nervously pulling at his sleeves in official artwork, or how he says he finds his prison uniform (which has tight straps) 'relaxing' and when he gets nervous/tense, he will dig his fingernails into the palm of his hands. (These last two potential being examples of 'self stimulation' [aka stimming] where a person seeks out specific sensory stimuli in order to help regulate their nervous system/emotions, in this case the tight uniform creates a comforting, secure feeling [you may have heard about some people preferring to sleep under weighted blankets for this reason] and digging nails into his palms sounds uncomfortable/painful but is done in an attempt to deal with a greater sensory discomfort caused by the situation/environment) I also appreciate the depth he is written with, he struggles to communicate verbally but in his MV and interactions with other inmates is shown to have insecurities, opinions and a consistent thought process (this is all basic character stuff but unfortunately not always present in disabled characters)

Also I want to add that (in terms of what we've been shown so far) Haruka did not kill anyone because of his disability/mental illness. Disabled people are not inherently more innocent than abled people. But there is no disability/mental illness where a symptom is that you kill people and real people have to live with the stigma when you speak carelessly and suggest things like "Haruka is the kind of mentally ill person who kills people as a cry for help" 🧂 (or at the very least real people have to read BS like that and cringe). TL;DR Haruka is less child-like and more onion-like (as in, he has layers) 🧅🧅🧅

Now is the actual theory stuff, oops:

Every prisoner in MILGRAM is supposed to have committed murder in some way, obviously considering Yuno just had an abortion (which i personally do not consider an act of murder) whilst Mu literally stabbed someone to death, this definition is stretched a bit. But it is not agreed upon yet who Haruka killed/how many people he killed or why he killed.

In his MV he is shown to have chased after his dog into a forest, seen something off-screen, then beaten something into a messy pulp with a rock. Some people think the dog is a red herring and that Haruka actually killed his mother/the girl from the fireworks show/his brother. I do not agree.

First: I believe Haruka when he says he doesn't have a brother. The MV literally starts by Haruka looking in the mirror and then switching between the him now

and a really similar looking younger child who just so happened to be a key feature of his memories (I don't have the vocabulary to explain it but its like cinematic parallels that establish this is the same person at different points of their life)

Its not impossible that this is Haruka's secret younger brother, but i think its unlikely. I saw someone saying they had to be different people because Haruka looks less happy than the child but like, most 17 year olds are less visibly happy than when they were 7 (or however old the child is meant to be). Life happens.

So when Haruka is shown pushing the child around and eventually strangling him, this isn't meant to be literal (homicide or suicide), but a representation of how conflicted Haruka feels about his younger self, who may have committed the murder (if you've ever been kept awake cringing at memories of something you said in the past and wishing you could go slap some sense into your former self, this is like that but 10 times more self loathing). The lyric "I am always repeating yesterday," implies he might think about this specific past event a lot.

Moving on, its pretty well accepted that Haruka's parents were abusive in some way and Haruka internalised a lot of it: he constantly apologises, he says in his interrogation questions that his one wish come true is that "[he] want[s] to be loved" and describes in his MV how when he couldn't find the words he was looking for ("you're unfair") one of his parents "would get angry at me and say “You’re hopeless.”". He seems to know its unfair but also still says he 'loves' his family, possibly mistakenly believing it is his fault, but also showing an awareness of his situation (and how his parents might behave).

Now, the MV is stylised in a way that makes certain details unclear, but there is one clear detail showing that Haruka's dog was killed

This is the first close up of Haruka and the dog. Haruka's mother is just out of frame supervising, but they look pretty happy. Notice how the puppy has a silvery chain for a collar. Somehow, this dog gets out of the house but only Haruka is shown chasing after it (whether his mother was searching elsewhere or didn't bother following her disabled son into the forest is unclear). Either way, young Haruka is now in the forest, unsupervised.

By the time he finds the dog, there is already blood, suggesting it was initally attacked by something else.

is this a sigh of relief from a boy whose finally found his beloved pet or a jealous weakling glad that nature took its course and he is finally free of that meddling mutt stealing all his mummy's attention? /j

I think this shock at the discovery that 'there is blood on his hands' could imply that rather than literally getting the blood from his dog, Haruka has seen his already injured dog and realises that if the dog got out because of him (he is previously shown to be aware his parents seem to blame him for everything) then he is the reason his dog is injured/dying and will be blamed for it. (this scene plays over the lyrics "It’s fine, though it’s really not It’s really fine, though I don’t really think so When I tried to understand it, You’ll make that disappointed face again" suggesting he is trying to avoid making his parents disappointed and letting the family pet escape into danger is something that could make them very disappointed)

now we get into rock murder (this is present-day Haruka implying that this is either: not how the scene really played out; the writers really wanting the audience to know that this was Haruka's doing and not someone else's; or this turns into a separate incident that happened much later [although note that the red sky and blue moon is the same as when young Haruka first appears at the start])

b the corpse is beyond mangled now, but its clearly the dog because the silver chain collar is still there, to the right of the body. (circled in red for your convenience :3)

My hypothesis is: Haruka didn't set out to kill his dog, but upon finding it injured (we don't know the severity aside from bleeding and also it not being able to run away from Haruka kneeling down above it w/ a big rock so it could range from treatable with a lot of vet help to already on death's door, TBH I don't think Haruka would know the difference) He knew he'd be blamed for this; made into a villain who let the poor puppy come to harm. He panicked and killed the dog out of some idea that it would make him the victim here (since he'd be found crying over a dog corpse, which might make a parent go comfort him rather than getting angry about what could've happened to the dog). This is over the lyrics: "I cried, I screamed I wanted to be a pitied and loved weakling I was in denial, I was in denial I just had to make sure I’ve become a victim, I’ve become a victim" (there's another theory that he was also jealous of the dog, which could work here too, since this is not some calculated plot; rather its a rash decision) This ties in with his Japanese song title (translated as Weakness) which is a play on a phrase sort of like "The strong eat, the weak do not" to become "The weak are eaten by society" or "The weak eat each other to survive" [once again I am reminding everyone this is based on second hand information from the youtube comments section (from users mitchki and Alphaistic) because I do not speak Japanese] This second meaning (The weak eat each other to survive) makes sense under the reading that Haruka killed his dog in order to 'survive' making his parents disappointed for the dog escaping.

Miscellaneous points:

We don't know where Haruka's necklace came from yet, it must be a gift since the most expensive thing he's ever bought was cotton candy. The younger child in the video isn't wearing it and neither is his mother or the girl in the purple dress.

Haruka's home seems quite big, at the start we can see a large flower garden outside the window and there's a forest in walking distance. This might suggest his family is quite wealthy

Haruka probably did go to school at some point as homeschooling is not a legally accepted as an alternative to public schools in Japan. (However it is estimated that up to 5000 families homeschool, this is uncommon) A lot (about 62%) of Japanese schools apparently have a 'special needs' classes and there are about 505 schools focused on educating intellectually disabled students (although I do not know which sort Haruka would've needed as whilst intellectual and development disabilities can be comorbid they aren't the same). Now, if children aged 7-14 don't go to school, their parents receive a fine, but its possible that if Haruka's parents are wealthy, they just paid it to avoid sending him to school. (This might imply they wanted to hide him or were generally ashamed of him in some way) However high school education (for students over 14) is not legally required and its likely that even if Haruka went to elementary/middle school, he hasn't been around people his own age in at least 3 years. As he seems quite lonely and glad that the other prisoners give him attention.

I don't think Haruka's parents are divorced and if they are, its not his father who left. Haruka mentions in the 30 questions that he thinks he disappointed his father. But still includes him as part of his family ("My father and mother and me"). A theory I've seen is that his father was disappointed by his son being disabled and left. but developmental disabilities (especially in non verbal and semi verbal children like Haruka) can be diagnosed before the age of 3, so I feel it is unlikely that Haruka would bring up his father if he left that early in Haruka's life

All MILGRAM prisoners have covered one of DECO*27's older vocaloid songs (DECO*27 is a well known producer who composes the music for MILGRAM) Haruka covered 'Two Breaths Walking' (https://youtu.be/puXLfVWrz2Q) which is about a boy's first relationship and how his mother's jealousy set him up for failure as the relationship becomes toxic (specifically it has some very funny out of context lines like "Whose breasts are you sucking on now?") so yeah, mommy issues: the song (Also: some people say in the song, the boy kills the girl at the end, but this isn't literal, TBW is the first of a trilogy of songs about the same relationship, it is followed by Android girl then Two Breaths Walking: Reloaded and the story resolves with the couple reuniting as adults and getting in the relationship again, although its not necessarily as abusive as before, its still implied to be codependant ending on the line 'We should live like oxygen tanks, sucking breathe from the words each of us exhale, until our last breathe')

In all seriousness, the scene where younger Haruka is walking through the city with his mother but it keeps repeating until older Haruka pulls the younger one away might indicate an attempt to focus the happier memories of his parents (since this is also over the lyrics "Why is it breaking? Tell me why? Please don’t change If I tried and couldn’t say it, You would get angry at me and say “You’re hopeless.”" which depict a worse scene) I think both his parents are still physically present but have become far more emotionally distant, not giving him as much attention, which exacerbates his loneliness from not having any friends his own age to talk to

And if one of his parents did leave? I think its likely his mother since she is shown disappearing out of his reach after the dog-incident (inferring she got angry/disappointed in Haruka anyway) This could also be where he got his necklace from: Its something his mother used to wear (although this is 100% a guess) and that's why its shown to be important to him

This one is just me, but i didn't realise until a rewatch that when Haruka is watching the younger him and the girl running together, the background has fireworks. Haruka mentions fireworks being a key memory to him so I wonder if this was one of the first/last times he got to make a friend...

On three separate occasions in the interrogation, Haruka mentions not liking animals. Despite this, he is depicted as sleeping with a rabbit plush and on his birthday art (I'd include that too but tumblr only allows 10 pictures per post, so here's a link) he is standing next to a giant blueberry and strawberry cake with two bunny themed biscuits at the side. Through my experiences of seeing Japanese fandom art on pixiv, sometimes rabbits are used to insinuate a character is cute and timid in fanart.

Meaningless details: Haruka sleeps with his necklace on; he sleeps on a bed and not a futon; at first I thought he woke up holding his plush's hand but his hand is merely next to the toy; and considering the state of the pillow and blanket, I wonder if he moves a lot in his sleep or if the is just because in this case he seems to be waking up from a nightmare about the dog incident...

Final note: I've spent so many hours writing this I don't remember if i was building up to any big finale or not but I hope you enjoyed reading this! Feel free to add on in the comments/reblogs.

#haruka sakurai #milgram #milgram theory #001 #text post #essay #long post

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alicemitch09writes · 4 years ago

Text

first love

pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x reader

summary: You never forget your first love.

author’s notes: This is what prompted the many angst fics to come in my repertoire. I’ll just to slowly transfer some of my one-shots that are reader inserts here on tumblr.

twenty one pilot’s cover of ‘can’t help falling in love’ really helped me in the writing of this fic. It’s a favorite of mine I keep going back to when writing fics. Reader is a musician, who plays the ukulele and violin and at the time when I wrote this (back in 2017), I was learning to play the uke, mostly for fun.

also available on ao3.

disclaimer: i own NOTHING but the plot.

Wise men say, only fools rush in

But I can't help, falling in love with you

They moved to Tokyo when she was 8.

And at a young age, she was pretty much a timid and shy girl, always hiding behind her parents whenever in the presence of new people, especially when she was being introduced. She wasn't very good with socializing, always wary and scared that she'd make a horrible impression. And of people, in general. People were generally scary, especially those she was unfamiliar with. She found solace in music, due to her father's influence, who was a music instructor at a university. "When words fail, music speaks." He'd tell her as they played 'Heart and Soul' together on the piano, her mother taking a video of them from the side. And a little while later, by some miracle, she made friends with the local kids – Tetsurou and Kenma. The two were an odd pair, given Tetsurou's loud and mischievous demeanor being a total contrast to Kenma's quiet and well-behaved and aloofness. Still, they were the best friends she could ever have.

Years passed, and the three were inseparable.

Over time, the two proved to be more trouble than they were worth – Tetsurou, with his never-ending schemes and provocation abilities, and Kenma, with his indifference to the world so long as he was playing his games.

Nothing's changed much of her, other than her ability to keep the dynamic duo grounded. Also, she had her flair for music. Still, she was terribly shy. Though she has a voice, she chose to stick to the background, wanting to be out of the limelight.

Tetsurou would scold her, saying that it was a waste because she had a good singing voice. In which, would make her blush. Kenma would say the same thing even without looking up from his game console. But Tetsurou's words resounded, her heart beating like a drum.

Shall I stay, would it be a sin?

If I can't help, falling in love with you

It was the clichest thing to happen – she fell in love with her childhood friend.

She fell for Tetsurou.

For all his cockiness, his mischievousness, his peculiar affinity with cats (ironic that they attended Nekoma), and his atrocious bed hair – she loved it all.

Of course, she'd never tell him.

She doesn't have the heart to.

Neither will she tell Kenma, being the perceptive boy he was.

Plus, she'd have to go against a throng of his admirers (who made up of about half of the female population, by the way). There was no way she had a chance. And besides, who was she to him but his ever dependable, timid and adorable best friend?

When he bought her a ukulele on her 16th birthday – he knew she had wanted to try to play it for the longest time, she knew that it was simply out of friendship.

For a while, she became the volleyball team's manager. And for a while, she was able to play it cool with her feelings. This was okay, she thought, its better like this.

"This is my best friend, (Last Name) (Name)." he says, wrapping his arms around her neck as he hugged her from behind, introducing her to two players from Fukurodani.

The shorter of the two – Akaashi Keiji, smiles. "Nice to meet you, (Last name)-san."

"Oh! She's so cute!" says the loud boy – Bokuto Koutarou. "Are you sure she's not your girlfriend?"

Tetsurou laughed, chin digging into her head. "I've known her forever, that'll be weird."

"Kuroo, you're hugging her too tight." Kenma says with a frown.

Best friend.

That's all she'll ever be to him.

Like a river flows, surely to the sea

Darling, so it goes, this love was meant to be

It was rare to find Tetsurou at his lowest since he was usually contented with whatever happened. But they lost, unable to secure a spot at nationals.

So when she found him all by himself at the gym, she knew he needed to be cheered up.

Taking her ukulele from her bag, she started playing. Tetsurou looked up just as she started singing. "You with the sad eyes don't be discouraged, oh I realize" she kneeled in front of him, watching him with careful eyes. "It's hard to take courage, in a world full of people; you can lose sight of it all, the darkness inside you, can make you feel so small."

She continued singing to him, feeling her heart beat faster with every line. It was so hard seeing this down, it was so unlike him. He rested his head on his folded arms, eyes closed as she sang. He always loved hearing her sing.

"And I see your true colors shining through," she wished her words reached him. "I see your true colors, and that's why I love you."

For a moment, she choked up. Not intending to say those words out loud, but they were part of the song, and the way she sang it with so much emotion that the look Tetsurou was giving her made her nervous. His golden eyes stared deep into her (eye color) – filled with so much emotion, but she focused on confusion, probably at why she had stopped.

Regaining her composure, she continued. "So don't be afraid to let them show, your true colors are beautiful like a rainbow."

Tetsurou cracked a smile, reaching out to ruffle her hair playfully. "When did you get so cheesy?"

"And when did you become this uncool?" she teased back, slapping his hand away. "Are you feeling better now?"

Sighing, he leaned his back against the wall, staring at the ceiling. "A little, but thanks for coming after me."

"It's not the end of the world," she tells him kindly. "and after all, there's next year. Right, captain?"

The look on his face was priceless – clearly not expecting that. But their senpai had already decided, Kai and Morisuke were on it too, as was Coach Nekomata – before it broke into a grin.

His grin was the biggest she's ever seen.

Take my hand; take my whole life, too

'Cause I can't help, falling in love with you

Tetsurou got mad at her, saying painful words to her face.

Furiously, he turned to face her. She took a step back in surprise, clutching her ukulele to her chest. Then her instrument slipped from her hand, landing on the ground with a loud crack. The words coming out from his mouth were hard to bear, and she could just stand there taking it all in.

He didn't mean it really, but the stress and frustrations were just getting to him. She knew that.

"You know nothing. I never want to see your face again." He seethed.

When all was said and done, he up and left.

It felt as though the life was sucked out of her. She couldn't feel anything, she felt too numb to move. It only came as a surprise that she was still there when she found herself sitting on the ground, rocks digging into her skin.

Picking up her ukulele from the ground, she was surprised to find that it was still in one piece. Except for the scratches on the surface, and crack on the rim of the saddle boards. Funny, they seemed like an allegory.

Despite it all, the pain in her heart and Tetsurou's harsh treatment towards her, she found herself smiling. Hot tears streamed down her face, teeth digging unto her lower lip as if to keep her sobs in.

But the pain of it all was too much, she was only human.

Hugging her instrument to her chest, she allowed herself to cry, sobbing loudly, body shaking violently as her heart broke into smithereens.

She heard that they had made it to the semi-finals, being one of the top four schools, which shouldn't be a surprise. Actually, it was secondhand information from Kenma. Right after what happened with Tetsurou, she decided to cut ties with anything associated with him, which was basically everything – the volleyball club, Kenma.

It was something she had to – no, something she wanted to do.

No matter how much it killed her.

"Hey, let's make a little bet. If I win, you go out on a date with me."

"And if I win?"

"You won't ever see me again."

Gentle strums silenced out the lull machines, the dripping of liquids. Faint scents of flowers and fruits hid the overly sanitized room, with walls too white and dull.

"But I can't help," her voice was quiet, low, eyes transfixed to her fingers on each string on her ukulele. "falling in love," a lone tear slips down her face, though a smile graced her lips. "with you."

In front of her, the television displayed the live coverage of the nationals - Nekoma won against Fukorodani, and then lost to Karasuno.

She smiled, hugging her ukulele as tears slipped freely.

The memory of the bet they made when they were younger came to mind, making her smile. That was such a long time ago, Tetsurou probably forgot all about that just as he forgot all about her.

"Don't worry, you won."

Now you won't ever see me again.

He was surprised when they came back to school, she wasn't there. She was the first person he looked for since she was absent during the whole finals match. But she wasn't anywhere to be found – not in the library, the music room, the club room.

He had a promise to keep, and an apology to make up.

So it came as a surprise to him when his classmates' expressions turned grim at the mention of her name. Some had begun to cry, some looked away, nothing was making sense.

But one word was clear to him – cancer.

He turned to his best friend, who met his gaze. For the first time in his life, he saw anger in those usually stoic eyes. He knew then that he knew, he always knew. There was also pain, pain for his best friend's condition. And for (Name)'s sake, he decided to keep his mouth shut.

Without a word, he ran, as fast as he can, ignoring the calls from his classmates, teachers, teammates. He had to get to her. He had to apologize; he didn't mean what he said. He wanted to see her, hold her, tell her he was stupid and an idiot-

But he was already too late.

#kuroo tetsurou x reader #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo tetsurou angst #haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! x reader #hq x reader #nekoma #kuroo x reader #haikyuu!! fanfic #hq fanfic #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! angst #hq angst #hq fic #hq angst fic #angst fic #alicemitch09 writes

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lazydoodlesandfanfic · 4 years ago

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Never Giving Up Hope (Theo Raeken X Reader)

Characters: Theo Raeken X Reader

Universe: Teen Wolf

Warnings: Spoilers, swearing

Request: Hi lovey, could you maybe write one for me where the reader is always vouching for theo being able to be good throughout his villainous days, and is constantly trusting him when the others don't, and even when he's outed as bad they sort of just insists he can change, and is constantly disappointed.Still, they're really upset when Kira gets rid of him, and they are the first one there to meet him when he comes back? If not it's completely fine, cos its a bit of a rambly idea, I just figured I'd ask haha ^-^ (part 2 to theo request - sorry it took so long to send second part, my tumblr decided it was a good moment to crash lmao)

Theo didn’t expect a warm welcome when he returned to Beacon Hills. He honestly expected hostility, to have members of Scott’s pack threatening him into behaving. What he honestly wasn’t expecting was to see you waiting for him.

Seeing that you had waited for him, having not given up hope on him… he honestly felt like shit. After his time essentially dead with nothing to do, he had a lot of time to reflect and think about his actions, and a lot of that included you.

You were a member of Scott’s pack, but you were different from the others. You were full of hope, always seeing the best in people and having a positive outlook even when things were bleak, and even when there was no solution, you would simply give a reassuring smile and remind whoever that what’s done is done and you can’t say that an attempt wasn’t made.

You’d had hope in Theo from the very beginning. You always tried to offer him chances to turn it around and do the right thing, and he always threw it back in your face. He called you pathetic, he’d hurt you knowing you wouldn’t fight back nearly as hard, yet you still had hope in him. You gave him so many chances and he always threw it back in his face. One of the last things he saw before being dragged down by his sister was your distraught expression. He thought for sure that was the final straw, that you’d given up on him and you’d moved on. But here you are, coming to greet him with a smile.

“Hey Theo… you okay?” You asked him softly. You acted like he hadn’t backstabbed you god knows how many times, hadn’t hurt you and your friends, hadn’t betrayed your trust, hadn’t tricked you into the believe that your attempts had been successful just to use you as bait or leverage. Though he guessed this was punishment enough- before he was trapped underground, he would have took some pleasure knowing you were still a pawn for him. But now? He felt like an asshole. He didn’t deserve your kindness, he knew that, but what hurt most was the knowledge that despite is all, you still cared about him.

You actually cared about him.

Theo wasn’t sure what came over him, but he stepped closer, pulling you into a hug, which clearly surprised you, though you didn’t pull away. Theo knew that at least some part of you was expecting him to dig his nails into your back, or to shove you or to whisper something into your ear to hurt you, but he didn’t. He just held you, and after a moment you finally accepted it and returned the hug.

“Thank you.” Was the only thing he could think to say. “Thank you for not giving up on me.” His voice was oddly level as he said it, which for anyone else would seem like he lacked any emotion behind his words, and therefore it lacked meaning, but you knew better from experience of him trying this trick and lying to your face, and knew that this was an actual, genuine thank you. “I’m so sorry for hurting you so many times, you didn’t deserve that.”

“It’s okay. I’m glad that we finally got here.” You told him, pulling away to look at his face, giving him a reassuring smile. “I’m glad we got this opportunity.” You assured. Theo tried to return your smile, though the guilt was still evidence. “Hey, how about a fresh start, sound good?” You asked him. Theo nodded. Your presence reassured him and made him feel a hell of a lot better, especially when you pat his back and you two started walking together as you got him caught up on what he’d missed.

Hope you like it! If you have any questions, please send them in!

*Not my gif

TAGS: @rebellionofthecattle @hello-love-youre-pretty @courtneychicken @graysonmalfoy @bellero @originalpottervengerlock @supernatural-pan @esoltis280 @lena-stan-xavier @lady-of-lies @sebstanismylife @macbetheliza @mandywholock1980 @cdwmtjb8 @caswinchester2000 @determinedpines @huntheimpossible

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cultgambles · 4 years ago

Text

Forgotten Lunch (Jumin Han x Reader)

This was originally posted as a little blurb but why the hell not put the whole thing am i rite?? Like, i wasn’t sure if tumblr would take it down bc of the whole ban, but the other writings have been up haha

Summary: Jumin thinks his MC comes to the office for a little chat, but MC has other plans...

n s f w, office (semi-public), being walked in on, bjs, vaginal fingering

wc: 2.1k

Masterlist | Requests? open

“Oh! MC! What a pleasant surprise! How are you doing today?”

“I’m wonderful Jaehee, hope Jumin isn’t working you to the bone too much?” you reply to the secretary with a small smile.

“Same old same old,” Jaeehee sighs. “Is that lunch for him? He’s free right now if you would like to go up.”

“Aww, I’ll tell him to chill a bit, okay? Maybe he’ll listen this time. And I have one for you, too. Don’t eat those bento boxes all the time, they’re not the healthiest,” you chide, reaching into your bag and pulling out some pasta you had made. Jaehee takes the meal graciously and tells you she has to go back to work otherwise she’d work more overtime than usual.

The walk to the elevator and the ride up seemed to take a millennium, and when the final ding rang, you practically jumped out and ran to his office at the end of the hallway.

You try to stifle your smile, breathing a deep breath and knocking twice on the door.

“Come in,” Jumin’s muffled voice wafts through the door. He looks up slightly, his eyes brightening when he sees you.

“My love, to what do I owe the pleasure?” he says, starting to stand.

“Don’t worry! You just stay right there, I’ve only come to bring you some lunch. I made Alfredo,” You smile, closing the door behind you.

“MC, you didn’t have to make me anything. I have those private chefs you know.”

“I thought it would be cute to bring you some food!” you pout, making your way around the desk after placing the thermos down. You lean forward behind him, running your hands down his chest, placing a small kiss on his cheek. You swear Jumin purrs before clearing his throat, and patting his leg for you to sit. You do, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and neck, leaning in to pepper kisses on his face. He pulls you flush against his body, and you trade kisses for a while. You sigh, leaning in the crook of his neck.

“Oh, how I wish to abandon everything right now,” he sighs softly, pressing the words into your neck.

“Why can’t you? Let’s just go home and relax...but also let Jaehee have the rest of the day off too?” You say with an afterthought.

“You know I can’t, kitten.”

“Fineeee, I’ll leave you be then,” You swing one leg over his, appearing to get off, but you plop your ass right back down, basically straddling his leg, and take notice of his computer screen. “Oooh, what are you working on?”

“Just some of the new products I want to export. Though, I am having to fight with my father about it because he just doesn’t think cat products would sell,” he replies, sucking in a breath of air. “What do you think you are doing?” he asks, strained as you slightly rock back and forth to get into a more comfortable position. His large hand finds purchase on your hip, sending tingles throughout your body.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you say. That’s a lie though. You know exactly what you’re doing. You’re grinding your hips into his leg, dry humping him. The friction of your sliding back and forth makes you let out a small moan at how good it feels.

Jumin swallows, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. “So, this is the game you want to play? Let’s see it through then,” he mumbles lowly, leaning his head on his other hand. You lean forward to place your hands on his desk, moving more furiously against his leg, your body finally getting that friction it craved from when he touched you this morning. The feel of your panties against his pant leg rub together deliciously, and you’re tempted to hike up your yellow sundress to feel more of it.

“O-oh! Jumin,” you moan out, rolling your hips more deeply, feeling that sensation in your belly. His hand on your hip never leaves you, almost guiding you to your finish. The knot unravels, bursting through your body and clouding your senses. You shudder, feeling the waves of pleasure die down. You lean back against him, panting slightly. He presses a kiss to your forehead.

“Have fun there, sweetheart?” His voice is pretty stable for what you just did, but you definitely feel something poking your lower back.

“Mmm, yeah!” You say with a smile, getting up on shaky legs. “Well, I’m gonna go home and you finish up your work, okay?”

Before you can get very far, however, he catches your wrist and pulls you back onto his lap.

“You’re very naughty today, aren’t you? Did you want to be punished by daddy that badly?” Jumin says, running a hand down your stomach while the other holds your breast.

“I just missed you, s’all…” your voice goes up an octave as he bites your sweet spot.

“Well, we’re going to finish what you started then. Lucky for you, you came at the beginning of my lunch break, hmm?”

“Y-yes.”

“Did you plan that?”

“Maybe,” you say slyly.

“Really?” His hand stops just above the hem of your dress, just barely ghosting over your thigh.

“I planned it, you got me,” you whine, grinding your butt down.

“That’s what I thought,” he smirks, pulling your dress up so the lower half of you is exposed. “You’re even wearing the lace red panties I like.”

“Yeah, so don’t rip them this time,” you quip, reaching behind to palm at his dick through his pants.

“I have all the money in the world to get you a new pair.” he rubs two fingers at your clit through the fabric. “You’re so wet for me, baby.”

“Jumin?” you squeak out.

“Yes?”

“Why is it a pair of panties even though it’s like one item?”

“Love, you say the most unsexy things at the worst times,” he chuckles, “but I think it’s because of the two leg holes.”

“Mmm, m-makes sense,” you stutter out as his fingers finally slip between the fabric and into your folds.

“I’m taking off the fucking dress,” you say reaching for the zipper. For the moment, Jumin doesn’t hesitate to throw it over you and into a corner of the room. You also reach behind your back, unclasping your bra and throwing that somewhere too.

“You like being exposed like this don’t you? Someone could walk in right now and that’d get you off even more, wouldn’t it?”

“I also like you fully clothed while I’m naked,” you purr. Jumin raises a brow, but continues the assault on your pussy.

“Well, I’m not complaining.”

Your lewd sounds fill the quiet air, and you feel the familiar knot in your abdomen. You come in Jumin’s hand, and you turn your head to give him an open mouthed kiss. Breaking the kiss, he pulls his long fingers out of you not before licking the slick off.

You stand over him slightly and lean down to undo his zipper and pull down his boxers. His cock springs free, the tip leaking pre cum. You reach down between your legs and swipe your fingers through the folds, wetting them. Your hand reaches up to his member and you grip around it, running your hand up and down the shaft.

Jumin makes a guttural sound as your mouth moves on him. He reaches his hand down to run through your hair.

Two knocks at the door.

You pause an anxious fear in your throat. Jumin clears his throat, “What is it?”

“It’s me, Sir, I’m here to remind you of your 2 o’clock meeting in about thirty minutes.” Jaehee says through the door. “Can I come in to give you the briefing?”

“You may.”

“Wow, ballsy,” you whisper, loud enough for him to hear. He smirks slightly and adjusts his tie.

“Well, you’re meeting with Mr. Phantomhive to discuss collaborating on a project. His company hasn’t really gotten footing here in South Korea,” Jaehee remarks.

Meanwhile, you’re bobbing your head on Jumin’s length, the thought of the both of you getting caught working you up. You massage his balls and try to suck in as much as you can, the tip hitting the back of your throat. Jumin huffs, making Jaehee pause to ask if he’s doing alright.

“Is that all? I have to finish up this cat project outline soon,” he says quietly.

“Ah, one more thing, Mr. Phantomhive hates being called short or looked down upon, so please try your best to behave!”

“Fine fine,” he waves her off, “I assume Meeting Room 3?”

“Yes Sir, I’ll come get you once Mr. Phantomhive arrives.”

“Good. Please close the door on the way out.” You hear Jaehee shuffle out awkwardly, the door clicking behind her.

“MC, you’re very distracting,” Jumin says, looking down at you.

“Yes, I know.”

“Why don’t you come up here then?” You pop off, licking your lips slightly and pull down your panties so it hangs off your ankle.

You give him a quick kiss before your hand reaches down for his dick. His hands lay on your hips as you sink your drenched core down, helping you better situate. You let out a moan as he fills you up, not a spot without him there.

“J-Jumin, you f-feel so good in me…” your arms wrap around the both of you, one gripping the chair and the other in his hair, pulling ever so slightly.

Not even 20 seconds later, you’re already bouncing, and he’s meeting every one perfectly.

“Love, why don’t you turn around so I can look at your pretty face?”

“But I don’t want to get up,” you whine.

“That’s an order, sweetheart,” he says, slightly lifting you up.

“Ooh, you know I love when you do that. I guess I can’t say no to that now, can I?” You turn to face him and fully sit this time, your heels just above his knees.

“I love looking at your face, the way it contorts into pleasure as I give it to you raw,” he growls, latching onto one of your breasts. You throw your head back in ecstasy, arching your back more as he pumps into you at a steady pace.

“Mmm...go faster..please. Absolutely wreck me,” you beg. That really seemed to get him going, his pace more erratic and his fingers digging into your sides. You lean down to kiss him, his mouth already slightly parted. His tongue instantly finds its way into your mouth and he groans into it.

“MC, I can’t last much longer, he pants.”

“Come in me, Daddy. Let’s have little Jumin’s and MC’s running around soon,” you tell him.

Thick ropes of cum fill your cervix, as you come yourself for the third time. Jumin holds you close as the both of you come down from your highs.

“I love you, Jumin,” you say, pressing your forehead against his.

“I love you more,” he whispers sweetly. “Oh how you do me.”

The phone on Jumin’s desk beeps, startling you both. “Mr. Han? Your appointment starts in 5 minutes. I’ll be up in a few,” the voice says.

“Oh I do not want to go to this meeting anymore,” Jumin says, “Let’s just stay like this.”

“You need to though, Mr. Phantomhive’s candy is really good and I haven’t had any since our trip to England,” You remark, getting off him and handing him a tissue.

“That’s reason enough,” he shrugs, cleaning up a bit and fixing his hair. Meanwhile, you slip your dress back on and stuff your bra in your purse.

“See you later, love,” you smile, leaning up to peck his cheek, and fix his tie.

“You’ll hopefully be seeing me earlier than planned,” he says, brushing down your hair.

“Oh? You gonna give Jaehee the day off?”

“Sure, yes. I’ll do that.”

“Thank you. Ellie and I will be waiting for your return...though I’m sorry I took you away from your lunch,” you say with a slight frown.

“I’ll eat a good dinner. So good until I have my fill,” he says in a sultry voice.

“Okay, tiger, calm down,” you laugh. “Bye for reals now.”

“MC? You’re still here?” Jaehee opens the door, a surprised look on her face. “I didn’t see you earlier when you walked in?”

“You came up? I must of been in the bathroom..Nice seeing you!” You smile at your friend and briskly walk out, the embarrassment of what you and your CEO-in-line just did mere minutes before.

“Mr. Han, are you ready for your meeting?”

“Yes, of course. Let’s get this over with.”

#jumin han #jumin x mc #jumin x reader #jumin smut #mm #mystic messenger #mystic messenger smut #Smut #lemon #fanfic #fanfiction #mysme

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whereisten · 4 years ago

Text

Valentine Boy

(MOBILE-FRIENDLY VERS.)

Special Cover Art by @nakayutasama ❤️

Summary:

You’ve been dating College Student!Jaehyun for a few months now. He’s unbelievably sweet, smart, oh..and very handsome. Best of all, he gives you the best love you’ve ever had. He’s the love of your life and you can’t see anything going wrong as your relationship sails smoothly..that is..until you discover his biggest secret. He’s been hiding the fact that he’s a camboy and you start to wonder..Is Jaehyun as sweet and honest as you think he is?

Pairing: female reader X college student and camboy!Jaehyun

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff

Warnings: cursing, cheating, cam boy (video-recorded sex with online audience), deception, manipulation, blackmail, alcohol use, descriptive smut (fingering, overstimulation, face riding, dirty talk, BDSM themes (handcuff usage, spanking), drunk sex, oral sex (m&f receiving), some masturbation, rough sex, vaginal penetration, breast fondling, dry humping, semi-public sex).

(A/N): I received a message saying that Part 3 was difficult to read on mobile, the app would glitch and eventually close (because we love tumblr for being efficient). So I am splitting part 3 into 3 equal parts of about 7K words each for easier reading. Thank you all again for supporting this fic!!!!🥺❤️

—————

You reach to the back of your dress and grasp at the zipper at the top. You want to move fast, to feel him all over you, bringing you to paradise in this large comfy bed. But it was clear that he wanted to take his time as he sat at the edge of the bed and watched you.

“Turn around.” His voice is so low and demanding. He rarely got like this but you weren’t surprised since he had been upset for most of the night.

You turn and take your dress down your legs while bending over to show him your ass in your pretty lingerie.

You stand up straight and wait for his next instruction. You felt..nervous for some reason. You heard the bedside drawer open and jingling, then, he spoke.

“You’re beautiful…come here.”

You turn and walk to him quickly, your heels clinking against the floor.

He looks up at you, through his long lashes, as his arms rest behind his back. “Close your eyes, sweetheart.”

You do as he says the feel his large hands squeeze your waist. He hums as they float from your hips and around to your ass.

“Does it feel good?” He asks as he squeezes your ass cheeks. Your legs shake a bit as you become turned on by his firm touch. You can just imagine the smirk on his face right now.

“Y-yes.”

“Good.” He says before leaning forward and kissing your stomach, he grabs your wrists with one hand then places them behind your back. You exhale, but before you can enjoy his mouth on your heated skin, you feel ice cold metal replace his hand. The handcuffs lock around your wrists as your eyes fly open.

Jaehyun looks up at you with the most devilish smirk across his face. “Oh, my love, we are going to have so much fun.”

You chuckle. “Where the hell did you find handcuffs?”

Jaehyun bites his lips. “I bought it just for you..since you can’t behave and stay still, I’ll have to force you to.”

You roll your eyes. Jaehyun always had an interesting imagination.

“What if-“ You start but Jaehyun interrupts you.

“Do as I say, baby, or I’ll put the gag in you too.”

Your eyes widen as you gasp.

“Get on your knees.”

You kneel before him, your arms still behind your back in a painful bind. His hard member sticks out of his pants. He pulls his zipper down and begins to stroke it in front of your face.

You lick your lips and bat your eyes.

“Do you want it?” He asks as his hand moves up and down his beautiful shaft, spreading pre cum as the tip twitches.

You nod. “Yes.” His long and girthy dick stands before you, making your chest tremble.

He grunts as he watches you stare in hunger. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, please, I want to taste you.” You beg once again, ignoring the pain in your knees as they dig into the hardwood floor.

“Hmmm…didn’t you say something like “I’m never sucking your dick again?” He teases.

“Yes, but come on Jae, you know I didn’t mean it.” Your legs become weak and soaking at the very spot you need him to be in between.

“And here you are on your knees, begging for it.” He chuckles while moving his cupped hand up and down.

“Well, baby, I can’t do it on my own. Get to work.” He pulls his phone out to record you as you practically leap forward to place your lips on his veiny cock.

You lick a long stripe slowly and really wished your hands were free so that you could stroke him while you licked the tip.

You look into the camera as you lick him again slowly. You swirl your tongue around to collect what leaks from the tip then swallow. “Since when do you like to record me?”

You didn’t mind being recorded. In fact, it made everything even sexier.

“I miss you when I’m at work. Sometimes I just need a little break and this will help me during my most..difficult times.” He winks.

You smile slightly then place your mouth over him and finally take it into your mouth. You move your head up and down while hollowing your cheeks. His tip pushes against the plush surface of your cheek, causing him to let out a throaty groan.

You moan as well as you imagine him being inside your aching pussy next, sliding in and out of it easily.

He’s already worked up as you can feel every vein bulge from the movements of your mouth on him.

You pull away to breathe and let a string of spit fall onto him.

“Fuck..you’re beautiful.”

You go back to work on him, doing your best to cover every inch of him, but struggling without the use of your hands.

Jaehyun takes his free hand and places it onto the back of your head. “Let me help you.”

He thrusts into your mouth abruptly, causing you to choke. He grabs a fistful of your hair and thrusts into your mouth again.

You moan as he continues to fuck your throat raw and fast. The vibrations push him along even further. A tingling sensation overtakes the pit of your stomach as his groaning increases. Tears fall from your eyes and trace over your round cheeks.

You whimper as you struggle to breathe through your nose.

“Just a little more, baby.” He watches you below him in your beautiful lingerie set. Your lovely breasts resting in a neat lace bra and your ass looking ever so pretty in a matching lace thong. The garter hugs your waist beautifully and he can’t help but lose it at the sight of your gorgeous body on the floor, your mouth open and drooling over him as your eyes leak tears.

He grunts and thrusts one last time, holding you down onto him as he coats your throat in strings of his essence.

“Ahhh..good girl.” He breathes heavily and pushes into you a few more times. Your jaw feels like it’s locked and your face is a mess.

He lets you pull your head up. Your lips are swollen as you cough a little. He then places his phone down and grabs your waist, forcing you to stand up. He stands behind you and pushes you down onto the bed. You turn your head and exhale as you anticipate what he will do next.

Then, you feel a sharp slap to your ass.

You cry out from the sudden hit and feel your body fall into the bed more.

“That’s for being a slut tonight.” He grumbles but tilts his head once he sees your thin lace thong becoming increasingly wet from the hit.

He delivers another smack.

“And that’s for getting turned on by me punishing you.”

“I can’t help it, baby, I need you.” You cry out.

He slaps you again.

“Ah!” You yelp.

“You should be happy I’m not using my belt.” Jaehyun would’ve loved to go harder on you, as hard as he goes when he’s being recorded. But you weren’t like her…you needed care and love. He wasn’t just fucking you, he was making love, and he wanted to make sure you were comfortable. Tonight, however, he was wound up and angry at you dancing with someone else. He had to punish you just a little.

“Jaehyun, can’t you see how wet I am, baby? Fuck me pl-“

Another hit. He bites his lips once he rubs his hand over your round butt and feels it becoming warm from irritation. The handcuffs jingle as you struggle against them, but you’re the prettiest sight. Your hands tied behind you as you bend over the edge of the bed with your ass on display for him. Essence running down your shaking legs in a steady stream.

“Not yet, and you know why. Now, stop talking.”

“Make me.” You felt your bratty side slowly creep out as Jaehyun became rougher with you. You liked him this way. It made you both more turned on when you role played.

Jaehyun chuckles softly. “Ah you fucking slut, you have no idea what you’ve done.”

He pushes the thin string covering your needy pussy aside, he watches essence drop from your folds and nearly loses it. He then presses his middle and ring fingers against your slit.

You whimper from the feeling of his fingers finally on your throbbing skin. He gently slides his fingers over and in between, pushing them apart slightly to watch your slick. “Mmm…your pussy is dripping and we haven’t even started yet, sweetheart.”

He grabs your hair with his other hand then pushes his fingers inside you without warning.

“Is this how turned on you get just from sucking me off?”

“Jaehyun!” Your legs shift as you try to adjust to him.

He bites your neck as you moan.

He pushes his fingers in and out of you quickly, his knuckles brushing against your folds repeatedly as he slides in.

Your mouth falls open as his long fingers stretch you out so satisfyingly. They explore your silky walls. His thumb rubs circles onto your clit, making you dizzy.

“Ahh..you’re so wet, this is easy..” He whispers into your ear, the sound of his raspy voice mixing with the sound of your drenched pussy greeting his fingers with every push.

You’re already close to cumming as you clench around them.

“Jaehyun..I’m going to..”

“Really? I couldn’t tell.” He says sarcastically.

He moves his fingers even faster. Your moaning becomes louder and you start to ride his fingers on your own. He curves the tip of his fingers so that they press against your sweet spot.

You moan loudly and back into him more. You wished you could see his face and watch him lick his lips as he uses his fingers to bring you to paradise.

You shake around him as he sucks hard on your collarbone once again.

You cum hard, but he doesn’t stop. “Jaehyun..no, I’m sensitive..” you try to push yourself up away from him.

He then grabs your bound wrists to hold you still.

“I don’t care, you’re gonna take whatever I give you. Isn’t that right, little slut?” His fingers pump in and out once more, you whimper and feel tears build up. Your chest feels weak as you are sensitive and unprepared for another orgasm.

“Jae..oh God..”

He grabs your waist and flips you over. “You’re such a whiny brat.”

He pulls his fingers out, a ‘pop’ echoing out into the room. He hurriedly unhooks your garter from your thong and drags it down your legs. He then bunches it up into his fist and stuffs it into your mouth. You choke as he forces it in.

“There..much better.” He smiles, watching as your eyes water and your mouth stays open with your drenched thong inside it.

You breathe through your nostrils and watch as he goes back to finger you. He moves slowly, enjoying the way your bare opening closes around him while trembling.

“Fuck, I love your beautiful pussy.”

You clench from his words and mewl. You just wished he’d go faster now that you were being built up again.

Your hips move down onto him again, but he places his free hand onto your abdomen to stop you.

He slides them a little faster now, using two fingers from his other hand to rub fast and hard circles onto your bud.

He watches as your essence coats his fingers. You feel so good around him. He can’t wait to feel you around his now hard cock.

You cum again, your back arching and eyes rolling into the back of your head as you moan loudly. So much cum escapes you, you wonder how badly you’ve ruined the sheets.

Jaehyun gets on his knees quickly and fixes his face in between your legs. He licks your pussy as you quiver and shake.

“Jaehyun!” You say in a muffled scream, the feeling of his mouth on you being way too overwhelming as you cum a second time.

Your legs kick and your body moves up on the bed. Jaehyun grips your thighs and forcefully drags you back towards him.

“Stop fucking moving or we’ll be at this all night.”

If it weren’t for your hands being behind you, you would’ve pushed his head away, but his strong grip on your thighs kept you still. He easily overpowered you as his biceps flexed under his shirt to hold you still. All you could do was let your sensitive pussy be consumed by him as you cry.

His hands rest in the crook of each leg, behind the knee. His grip is so harsh you swear there would be an imprint of his hands there once he was done.

He licks up and down your slit, licking up your cum and swallowing it just as you did his. He pushes his tongue in between your folds, moving in and out and from side to side.

You moan as his tongue brushes your clit.

You breathe heavily and start to relax.

“That’s it, baby, you taste so good.” He whispers onto your opening, his breath sends electricity through your body, making you jump slightly.

Your heels press into the bed as he widens your legs even more.

“Look at me..” He commands, his husky voice sending delicious vibrations through your core.

You look down to see a string of spit leaving his mouth and onto your opening. The look in his eyes is sinful. He wants you to watch him devour you like some piece of meat being eaten by an animal.

He continues to lay his tongue flat against you, his lips also pressing onto your folds.

He can’t hold back anymore as his erection becomes almost painful, so he presses his face into you more, his tongue going as deep as possible as your back arches. He curves the tip of it before bringing it upwards and downwards.

Your legs become weak while his nose massages your bud. You can feel that aching in your stomach that tells you you are about to cum again. A bundle of nerves just waiting to be soothed. Jaehyun loves to hear your high pitched squeals and feel the unsteady vibrations of your core as you get close.

He circled his tongue around your clit in a fast pace then licked up the juices that had escaped previously and hummed.

His tongue laps up everything between your folds as you grind your hips onto his face now to chase after your high. He hums as he savors your taste and warmth of your pulsating pussy around his tongue.

The vibrations from his low groans made you see stars and with one final flick of his devilish tongue, you cum for the third time and nearly black out.

He takes his face away and watches as you clench around nothing while liquid comes pouring out.

“Fuck that’s sexy.” He takes his shirt off and stands up before taking his pants off.

He then helps you get to the center of the bed where he kneels over you. He takes your panties out of your mouth and tosses them to the side. He kisses you on the lips, his mouth still wet from being coated with your juices.

When he pulls away, he takes a key from under the pillow and opens your handcuffs. He raises your arms above your head and kisses you deeply, smashing his warm lips onto yours as your eyes close. You smile but before you can thank him for letting you loose, he places the cuffs back on.

“W-what?” You ask with furrowed brows and look into his eyes.

That’s when you realize that he has now placed the chain of the handcuffs around a bar in the headboard so you are bound to it. He was distracting you with a kiss as he did it.

“Jaehyun..that’s not fair.” You pout.

“Life isn’t fair sometimes, baby.” He drags a finger down the side of your face while he pretends to pout as well.

His finger traces down your collarbone and dances around the mark he left earlier. Your skin becomes littered in goose pimples from his light, feathery touch

He reaches under your body and undoes your bra in the back. He throws it to the side before placing both hands on your breasts.

He massages them gently, pushing them together and flicking the nipples as he licks his lips.

He then pushes your legs far apart like they were when he was eating you out, only this time, he pushes his dick into you, pushing deep into your silky wet opening.

You both moan and exhale. He thrusts into you slowly, allowing his cock to rub against every inch of your tight, smooth walls. Your eyes shut tightly as you adjust to him.

He places both hands on either side of your head and watches you take him in while your hands are bound above.

Your eyes are still teary and your lips are still swollen from you biting them.

“Fuck…Jaehyun..you feel so good.”

He nearly loses it when you look up at him with wide eyes. You’re like his own personal doll, open wide and tied up for him alone to use. Your legs look longer in your heels and your body looks even better now without any underwear on it. He fights the urge to go faster, to fuck your insides so hard you couldn’t think straight.

He pushes into you even deeper. You whimper loudly.

“Do you like that? Do you like when I fuck you harder?”

You lick your bottom lip and nod. “Y-yes.”

He thrusts into you hard again, your breasts bouncing.

He picks his phone up. “You look pretty like this, baby.” He snaps a few pictures of you in this position with his cock buried so deep inside you, you can’t see the base of it. Your mouth falls open into a moan as he pulls out and pushes in again, sliding against your shaking walls.

“Harder…” You beg.

He puts his phone down and forces into you with a rough thrust. The headboard moves this time.

You feel like a slut. From the way he looks at you to the way he has you splayed out and begging for more. It all made you feel like a porn star. But you loved it, you loved being like this only for him.

He grips the headboard now and moves faster as he anchors himself above you. Sounds of the bed moving against the wall, his grunts along with your whimpers, and the slapping of skin on skin fill the room.

His abs flex each time he pushes into you with a loud grunt. His hair becomes wet with sweat and dangles over you.

He’s beautiful as he ruins you. He makes you weak with just a single glance, so his stare is overwhelming.

He enjoys the way your breasts bounce up and down with each movement, but he also enjoys having you pinned into the mattress below him.

“Y/n…I love you..” he looks into your eyes before kissing your lips.

He lets out a groan and leans into the crook of your neck. He fucks into your body so deep, your head starts to spin. He hammers your insides and groans.

“Jaehyun..I’m going to..cum.” You let out a high pitched squeal as his veiny dick hits that one spot to drive you insane. Your mouth falls open.

“Fuck.” He mutters out. You’re afraid the headboard might break.

His jaw clenches while he climaxes. You reach your orgasm as well, calling out his name as you see stars.

He moves a few more times so you can ride out your climax but he then pulls out and lays down beside you.

He takes your handcuffs off. “I’m not done with you yet..”

What you didn’t know was that he had taken his performance enhancing supplement that day. Meaning that he could endure several orgasms in one go.

He usually only took it on days when he recorded, but he had taken it just for you tonight. He wanted it to be one that you would never forget.

Your eyes widen. “What?”

“Turn over.” He kneels in the bed and motions for you to turn onto your stomach.

Your arms are weak, but you do as he says so that your bare ass faces him.

“Touch yourself.”

You groan. “Baby, please I’m so-“

He smacks your ass hard with his hand, the slap being so loud it came as a shock to your ears.

“Fuck.” You groan.

“Do as I say. No whining or I’ll put the handcuffs back on.”

You start to touch yourself with two fingers running along your slit slowly. Jaehyun kneels behind you and watches.

He wraps his arm under you and brings your lower half up more so that your face is down but your ass is up in the air.

“Good girl.”

He pulls his arm away and begins to stroke his semi-limp cock.

“I’m gonna fuck you hard, again. Do you think you can handle it?”

You snicker. “Again? When was the first time?”

Jaehyun gasps then slaps your ass a little lighter this time. “I should’ve never taken the handcuffs off, you’re a brat.”

“Then punish me, baby, I’m waiting.” You tease him as you push your fingers in and out.

He pulls your hand away and holds your waist, pulling your ass flush against his pelvis as he slams into you.

“Ahh!!” You cry out as he fucks you roughly from behind so soon after your orgasm.

Your head goes upward, but he grabs your hair and forces your head back down onto the bed.

He pushes into you harder and grunts as he feels your tight, drenched walls around him once again.

His speed increases and so does the volume level of your moans. He decides to push hard into you, releasing all of his anger and frustrations out on your body. He grabs your waist powerfully, his fingernails digging into your skin to leave a bruise.

Your ass cheeks slap against him, filling the room with lewd sounds. His tip reaches the low part of your stomach. You cry out his name as he fucks you so hard into the bed. He moves faster and you begin to clench uncontrollably. You begin to drool on the bed, your eyes are watery as tears escape. He feels so good as he ruins your guts and makes you feel raw.

“You like this, don’t you? Being fucked like the slut you are..” He grabs your hair and bends your neck backward so he can growl into your ear.

You see the dark look in his eyes, the way his nose scrunches as he pounds into you and goes harder than he’s ever gone before. “Yes! Yes, oh my God..” He fits into you perfectly, sliding his delicious length in and out like it’s easy.

He brings one of your legs up over his shoulder so he can enter you from a different angle, one that he knows will drive you crazy for sure. High pitched noises escape you. Jaehyun bites his lips, watching your body glisten with sweat and breasts move up and down.

“You’re all mine..you’d never leave me because you’d miss this too much, wouldn’t you? My little slut..” His dick grinds against your walls and hits your sweet spot each time it enters.

“Jaehyun! Fuck!”

He rubs your clit while still thrusting into you so hard, the bed creaks. “Touch me right there…” You moan.

“Good girl..so fucking tight.” He pants and releases into you.

Your bodies shake and collapse onto the bed as you both cum harder than ever before. Something about Jaehyun being so dominating turned both of you on.

Jaehyun pulls out of you, laying beside you so he can just stare at you for a moment. Your body is tired and weak and soon you fall asleep. Jaehyun cleans you up while adoring the way you sleep so fast. You snore lightly and your mouth falls open.

He knows things could’ve gone better that night, but he is still thankful that the two of you are together and cuddling during your last night in Bali.

————

[Last Day In Bali]

The sunlight couldn’t be any brighter as its rays peaked through the slim blinds and onto your bed. You grumble a little bit when you feel the heat on your arm. You turn over slowly, your body still aching from the night before. But you’re able to reach out and tap the fluffy white blanket next to you.

“J-Jaehyun?” You say, peering out through one eye to see your brown haired boyfriend.

But you don’t see him.

As your senses awaken, you hear the tapping of keys in the living room.

“In here, babe!” Jaehyun yells out.

You smile when you hear his sweet voice and lay back down in the bed. “Oh my God, I can’t feel my legs.” You chuckle.

“Ahh..sweetheart..I didn’t even go that hard on you..” He trots into the bedroom with a cup of coffee.

“Here..I’m working on a paper that’s due tomorrow, but I’m almost finished.” He places the cup down on the dresser beside you before ruffling your hair with his fingers.

He looks delectable with no shirt on and just boxers. His soft hair is still messy too, falling into his forehead limply.

You clutch the blanket to your naked chest and smile widely. “Thanks, baby..how do I look?”

“Hmmm..” Jaehyun tilts his head and smirks. “Like someone pulled your hair a few times last night..”

You chuckle a less than sexy laugh, but lick your lips as you remembered the way he pinned you against the bed just a few hours ago.

You sit up on the bed and place a finger into the waistband of his boxer shorts, tugging it teasingly as your eyes lock. “I miss having my hair pulled…”

He bites his bottom lip and sighs as he watches your daring eyes below him. A low groan escapes his perfect lips.

“Mmm..baby, I wish we could..but I have to finish this assignment..”

You pout and withdraw your finger. “Okay.”

“I’ll make it up to you later baby, it’s our last day in Bali..we’ll go to the beach one last time and do whatever you want to do.” He holds your chin and rubs his thumb on it.

You smile. “Okay, my smart baby, get back to work!”

Jaehyun gives your forehead a light kiss and leaves.

“Professors that assign homework to do during spring break don’t make any sense!” You yell out and fall back into the bed.

Jaehyun only laughs and sits back on the couch with his laptop.

After about two hours, Jaehyun finally finishes his work and walks back to the room. He plops down into the bed and places his iPad in the center.

You put your phone down and turn to him.

“Wanna watch some Tik Toks with me?” He gives you a cheesy smile.

“Of course! You look like you could use some decompressing..” You rub your hand on his hair and smooth it out of his face.

He takes the move as an opportunity to kiss your wrist.

“Hey!” You laugh at the ticklish feeling and move your hand.

The two of you watch many, way too many, videos well into the afternoon. But losing track of time with the one you loved the most was okay.

You and Jaehyun laughed together as you laid on his chest and scrolled through his ‘for you page’. You’d look up at his face every now and then just to watch him laugh. His eyes crinkling into thin lines and his dimples becoming deeper than any of the earth’s trenches. The warmth from his chest when something made him echo out thunderous laughs and the way his fingers drew small circles onto your naked back. He made everything feel right in that moment. Your spring break with Jaehyun was working out to be one of the best vacations you’d ever had. You never wanted it to end.

“Alright…I think it’s time we head to the beach..” You rub your eyes.

“Yeah..but remember when you said you missed having your hair pulled?” Jaehyun’s raspy voice entered your ear.

You put your hand onto his chest and looked into his eyes. “That was a while ago, Mr. I-am-a-devoted-student.”

Jaehyun pouted. “Hey..don’t be so harsh, sweetheart…does the offer still stand?” He places his thumb onto your lips, running over it slowly.

You open your mouth slightly then stick your tongue out. You lick over the top of his thumb while looking into his eyes.

Jaehyun’s breath hitches. He swallows hard as he watches you take the rest of his thumb into your mouth and past your gorgeous lips.

You lift your head up and place the iPad to the side. You then crawl over his lap and straddle him.

You bite your lips as you feel his hardening member strain against his boxers. The thin fabric of it being the only thing separating your bare opening from his aching manhood.

He immediately places his hands on your thighs and relaxes into the bed.

You move forward and backward slowly, too slowly. Your hands are resting on his toned chest as he struggles to breathe normally.

He pushes up into your body more, trying to stay at your pace but finding it difficult as your beautiful body moves above him. You’re like an angel. Even with disheveled hair and smudged makeup, you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever seen.

“Ahh..baby..” Jaehyun licks his lips. “You’re beautiful..so beautiful.”

Jaehyun is fully hard now and reaches into his shorts to pull his dick out. But you hold his wrist and shake your head.

“Not yet..” You whimper, your entire body trembling as you tease him, your folds now dripping from the steady movement. You swivel your hips and grind down onto him a little harder.

Jaehyun groans just as you lean down to kiss him. The taste of alcohol and coffee on his tongue sends a rush through your head.

“Baby..please..I wanna feel you..” Jaehyun looks into your eyes as you pull away from the kiss. He tightens his grip on your thighs.

You give a half smile then lean down to his ear and whisper. “You can feel me..after you shower..”

Jaehyun pouts.

“You smell like alcohol, babe.” You plop down onto the bed beside him and laugh.

He sighs loudly and turns over to you. “Why do you do this to me?”

You run your hands through his hair. “Get washed up baby, we can’t spend our last day here inside!”

Jaehyun hurries into the shower as you laugh.

You hear the water start to run in the shower and get up to get your outfit for the day together. But as you arise from the bed, you see a notification pop up on Jaehyun’s IPad.

It’s a text message.

From someone named ‘R’.

“It was nice seeing you last night ;)”

Your brows furrow. Who could this be? Who of Jaehyun’s friends had a name that started with R? And why wouldn’t he just save their real name? How could he have seen this person last night when you were both at the club together? This person had to be texting the wrong number.

Another text comes in..it’s from the same person.

“Can’t wait til you get back..”

You stare blankly at the IPad, trying to remain calm as you read through these mysterious and yet flirty messages. Or were you over exaggerating? Maybe this person was just a classmate working on a project with Jaehyun, maybe it was someone from your university that just so happened to be in Bali for Spring Break like you guys were, because Bali is a popular destination for college kids, right?

But why were you looking at his IPad anyway? You should’ve respected his privacy, but you had your suspicions still. You just couldn’t push them away, could you?

Another text..

“I’m gonna make up for it when you get back, Jaehyun, gonna show you..”

“Everything alright?” Jaehyun’s low voice speaks out from behind you. He’s so close, you feel his warm breath hit the back of your neck.

You swallow hard and turn to him. You didn’t hear the water stop or even his light steps. Did he know that you were reading his texts?

He stared into your eyes intensely then shifted his attention back to his screen on the bed. You stepped in front of it and smiled.

“Y-yeah..everything’s fine..I just..I got kinda dizzy when I stood up too fast.” You chuckled but Jaehyun only gave you a small smile.

“Are you okay now?”

“Yeah! I’m fine!”

Jaehyun forces a wider smile and nods. “Good! I was wondering if you wanted to shower with me..we’ll save on water. It’ll be good for the Earth.” He raised his eyebrows and winks.

You smile and join him for a shower, forcing the many thoughts you had away. You don’t want to ruin the vacation as Jaehyun had accused you of doing the night before during your little “fight.” You want it to be a good time for both of you, so you continue on and go to the beach.

‘R’ could’ve simply been a classmate or friend of Jaehyun. You shouldn’t overthink it, there had to be an explanation. While walking on the beach together with your hand in his, you try to think of your moments together. Sweet and tender moments of laughter like this morning, or when he held you bridal style when you first went to the hotel. Or when he surprised you with a large bouquet of flowers while you were in class and risked getting scolded by the professor.

That was the Jaehyun you knew. There was nothing to worry about with him. He loved you and proved it many times, so why did you feel this unshakable tremble in your chest that screamed ‘danger’?

—————

[Two Weeks Later]

Back in class, you tried hard to focus on the lessons, but something still upset you.

“I’m gonna make up for it when you get back.” What did that mean? And what else did that person text?

But then, you rubbed your eyes and looked back at your computer screen.

You thought about Jaehyun’s sweet smile and how he loved you during your break together. You smiled to yourself and remembered when he told you he missed you whenever he was at work.

The person next to you then took out their container of strawberries and popped the cover off. The sweet smell filled your nostrils and made you exhale. You could really use some refreshing fruit from Bali right now.

That’s it! You could visit Jaehyun at work and drop off a basket of fruits from the market. It was time that you spoiled him for once. He’s given you so much already, it’s the least you could do. You smile to yourself as you imagine the grin that would grace his face once you surprised him.

Luckily, you remember the name of the place that he works at, even though he mentioned it only once in the past and never again.

You show up to the prestigious building with your best dress shirt and office skirt on. You wanted to look professional as it was a very serious work place. You just hope that you came late enough to deliver these fruits and not upset the manager.

The woman at the front desk looks intimidating, but you put on your brightest smile.

“Hi, excuse me, I’m looking for Jaehyun. I think he’s working right now.” You give a small smile to the older blonde haired lady with a silk Versace handkerchief tied around her neck.

She gives you a small smile and nods, “I’m sorry dear, but there’s no employee here by that name.”

“Oh..um, could you look again? I’m sure he’s just not showing up in the system, but he’s working until 5 today.”

She sighs then takes a look at her screen. “Hmmm..nope! No one here by that name, sweetheart. Are you sure you’re not thinking of ‘Johnny’?”

“No-no it’s Jaehyun…Um there may be a misunderstanding or something..” You blink rapidly.

She shakes her head and turns the computer screen to you. “See…here’s the schedule for next week..”

You scroll through the names.

“Normally, I wouldn’t show this to anyone…” She whispers, but you’re too focused on finding his name to listen.

Taeil.

You continue scrolling until you get to the bottom.

Jaehyun’s name isn’t there on the list of employees..

It didn’t make any sense. Your grip on the basket starts to weaken. You can feel a small crack in your beautiful world start to spread.

Jaehyun lied to you..all this time. This wasn’t even his workplace.

You step back as she turns her screen back to face her. You look at the floor and fight back tears.

“Dear…are you okay?”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine.” But you really weren’t. You couldn’t fight back the tears anymore. The floor below you became decorated with one, then two, then three teardrops.

“Here.” You wipe your eyes and hand the fruit basket to the lady at the desk.

She looks puzzled.

“Sweetheart..” she starts.

“Please!! Just take it!..I’m sorry for wasting your time..” you turn and leave the fruit basket on the front desk.

There were too many thoughts running through your mind. You walked heavily, with fury running through your veins and clenched fists.

How could he take you for a fool like this? How could he lie to you? Was he spending time with ‘R’ whenever he said he was “working”?

But you would confront Jaehyun, you would get answers when you met up for dinner. You had to know the truth and let him know that whatever game he was playing was over.

————

[Later That Night]

You meet up with Jaehyun at your favorite restaurant. You wait for him outside and when you see him walk over, you stare blankly.

“Hey.”

“Hey, baby!” Jaehyun gives you a bright smile as he trots over. Maybe he didn’t see your frown, or wet, red eyes..maybe he didn’t notice your voice crack before you swallowed hard.

“We need to talk.” You look up at him once he stands over you. His bright smile fades slowly and his grip on the strap of his backpack tightens.

“You’ve been lying to me, where have you been?” You say sternly, your lips pursed as Jaehyun stands tall in front of you now.

“What are you talking about?” He gives you a confused look.

“Cut the bullshit, Jaehyun, I went to your ‘job’ to bring a gift because I’m a nice girlfriend, but to my surprise, you weren’t there. And you know what the icing on the cake is? You’re never fucking there, you don’t work there, Jaehyun! And don’t you dare lie to me with some dumb excuse, don’t insult my intelligence! Because the nice lady at the front desk even showed me the schedule and guess whose name was on it? Taeil’s but not yours!” Your voice raises, but there is no one around to hear.

Jaehyun’s mouth opens and you see a slight panic in his eyes. “Y/n..you can’t be serious.. Why are you getting upset with me? That lady is new! She doesn’t even know how to operate the employee system properly yet! I’ve only seen her once.”

You scoff. “Oh God, here we go..”

“Y/n! I wouldn’t lie to you, okay?”

“Then why aren’t you on the schedule and everyone else is?! Did she just delete your name completely?”

“My name isn’t on the schedule for next week because I asked for time off..after all we’ve been through..” He shakes his head and turns away.

“Don’t give me that, Jaehyun! We just had spring break, why would you need to take time off?”

“Because my dad fucking hates me, okay?!! He keeps putting pressure on me because I’m failing my fucking business classes. They aren’t easy, none of this shit is easy, especially when it comes to being his only son! He’s going to stop paying for my classes if I don’t get pre-selected for the business school by the end of this term, so yeah I need a fucking break!”

He turns back to you once you remain quiet after his outburst. “Listen..I’m sorry..I’m sorry, I’m just stressed out…I should’ve told you I was gonna take time off, but I don’t understand why you are making me feel guilty about this?..”

You feel an immense pain in your heart. You feel guilt, confusion. You had accused Jaehyun without considering his personal issues at home. From the very beginning, he told you just how demanding and controlling his father was. He told you that he loved painting and creating art and hated that he would have to take over his father’s position in a big company one day.

It was something he struggled with constantly. The tug of war between being who he is expected to be and being who he truly wants to be.

“I’m sorry, forget I said anything.” You say quietly now.

“Trust me…please just trust me, I’m not hiding anything, I need you to understand that if we are going to make this work.” Jaehyun steps towards you and places his hands on your arms.

You look away.

“Unless..you don’t love me..do you want to end things? I try so hard, but it isn’t enough, is it?” Jaehyun looks at you through teary eyes.

You shake your head and look back at him with furrowed brows. “Jaehyun..”

“No. It’s okay, let’s just end it since you don’t trust me.” Jaehyun says.

“Jaehyun, no, I love you and I’m sorry. It’s my fault for blowing up at you. But I love you so much..I just wanted to surprise you.” You break down into a sob before he takes you into his arms and holds you close.

“Shhh…it’s okay..I’m sorry too..” He kisses your forehead. You look up at him and kiss his lips.

The two of you stand there for a moment, embracing each other lovingly, enjoying the proximity of your bodies and the way they fit perfectly together.

PART 3.1 | PART 3.2 | PART 3.3

#nct x reader #nct au #jaehyun au #jaehyun smut #nct smut #jaehyun x you #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun x y/n #jaehyun scenario #jaehyun series #jaehyun imagine #jung jaehyun #nct jaehyun

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wormstacheangel · 4 years ago

Text

Almost: Ch8

Final chapter is finally here! The bonus one will be posted hopefully soon but this the ending. Think of it as 15x19 and the next chapter is 15x20 except it doesn’t make you feel stupid. Or I don’t know how you’ll feel about this actually lol

Summary: Dean and Cas finally use their words. And sometimes it's too late. Sometimes it's just the relief of just knowing that makes someone truly happy.

Read on AO3 link (maybe leave a nice little comment?)

Word Count: 2978 More Under The Cut

“Oh,” Sam quickly stands up and nudges Charlie to stand up with him. “Mick! You should come see Charlie’s café!”

Charlie was quick to pick up Sam’s plan - an obvious one - as they both stumbled over each other to push Cas inside the room and pull Mick away. Sam wrapped an arm around Mick’s shoulders, towering over him, while Charlie tugged at his arm.

“Um, I think I’ll just stay with Castiel.” Mick tried to pull away from them but Sam had already pushed him away from the office door.

“Don’t be silly! I have like thee best pies in town!”

Their voices slowly started to get further and further away. Mick trying to politely decline while Sam and Charlie talked his ear off. It would have been funny if Cas wasn’t standing right in front of him practically shaking like a damn leaf. His jaw was clenched as he kept his hands balled up in the dumb ugly trench coat again. He looked cute though. With nice fitting black jeans and a half-tucked in forest green sweater. Matching the fall weather perfectly.

Dean swallowed hard before taking a step towards him. “Are you okay?”

“No.” He answered quickly and firmly. Cas’s eyes were looking at him now. Ice piercing through him and chilling him through his bones. Making him stop where he was standing. Still a few steps away from Cas.

“I’m sorry.” Dean’s voice was low, shaky. “I’m sorry, Cas. I’ll behave!” Dean took another small step towards him. “I’ll do better just don’t-”

Cas looked away from him, shoulder’s stiff as he poked his tongue at his cheek. “I just came to let you know that we’re leaving tonight. We’re going to the airport after this.”

Dean’s breath caught in his throat. This was goodbye. This was another damn goodbye and it felt so familiar, heartbreak and all.

“Don’t.” Dean walked towards Cas but stopped just an arm’s reach away. He hasn’t had enough time with him. And he knows - he fucking knows - that if Cas leaves that he would never see him again. Cas didn’t need money when Mick was perfectly well off. He would live comfortably with his dumb British fiance so there was no need for him to even come back. To come back to Dean.

No. Cas was saying goodbye for the last time.

Cas turned to look him over and his face scrunched up but that stubborn asshole won’t admit to his tears. Instead, he kept looking at Dean with a serious glare.

“I thought I’ll get more time to...to maybe-” Dean continued as his hand reached out to take Cas’s arm but Cas pulled away. And shit. That. That fucking hurt. Dean nodded in understanding as he sucked on his lower lip.

Don’t touch. Got it.

“Mick wants to go home early. He um, he doesn’t like it here.” Cas looks away again, looking down at their feet as his lips scrunched up. Nose wiggling as he let out a sniffle. “So it doesn’t look like we’ll ever come back to visit.”

“Is it,” Dean stuffed his hands in his pocket as he cleared his throat. “Is it cause of me? Did you get in trouble?”

Cas let out a loud hollow laugh and when he looked back at Dean he was smiling. It was so sad and broken before he wiped his tears away. “Of course it’s because of you! You fucking dumbass.”

“Okay, got it.” Dean nodded as he scratched at the back of his head. Should he reach for him again? He wanted to just pull him in for a hug but Cas doesn’t want that. “Maybe I can try to talk to Mick! Tell him that - no?”

Cas was shaking his head as he let out a shaky breath. His shoulders shook and finally, the stiffness was gone. “He doesn’t particularly like you anymore, Dean.”

“Yeah, I don’t really like myself right now either.” Dean shrugged before smiling at Cas. Cas’s shoulders fell as he let a soft chuckle before his face crumbled and he jumped into Dean’s arms.

Cas hugged - no he was gripping him - Dean for dear life. His face tucked into the crook of Dean’s neck as his whole body shook with a soft sob. Dean’s eyes shut as he wrapped his arms around Cas.

It was obvious now that Cas didn’t choose him. He was leaving with Mick and they’re never going to see each other again. Dean can’t even keep him in his life because he lacks basic self-control. All he wants is to hold Cas. To lean into Cas. To take his hand and walk down the sidewalk with him. To kiss him. To love him.

“Stay?” His brittle voice was barely a whisper but he knew Cas heard him as he nuzzled his face deeper into Dean’s skin. The only response was another shaky cry so Dean kept his hold on Cas, fingers gripping at the back of his coat with a hold that started to burn.

“I’ll do better. I promise I’ll do better.” He sounded like he was pleading with him now and Cas pulled away just enough to take Dean’s face in his hands. His thumbs wiped away tears as he looked at him with knitted eyebrows.

“It’s not you, Dean.” Cas reassures him. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said...I promise it’s not you.”

“Then why-?”

“I want to kiss you right now.” Cas smiles, such a sad depressing excuse of a smile. “I want to kiss you more than I have ever wanted to kiss anyone.” Then he shrugs as his thumb traced over Dean’s lower lip. “But I can’t.”

“Why not?” Dean kissed his thumb.

Cas let out a shaky laugh while he rolled his eyes. “You know why.”

“Mick.” Of course. He didn’t even know why he asked such a dumb question when he already-

“No. Well, yes. Him too.”

“What else is there, Cas?”

Cas tilted his head at him and narrowed his eyes at him with that damn look. The one that was asking are-you-really-that-stupid-or-are-you-fucking-with-me? Dean just raised his eyebrows in response. Waiting for Cas to answer.

“Do you really think I’m so fucking stupid, Dean?” Cas pushed away from him and crossed his arms over his chest. His fist digging into his side. “Just because you don’t introduce me to them doesn’t mean I don’t know!”

“Them? What the hell are you talking about, man?”

“I know you’re married, Dean!” Cas ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “God! I feel so gross!” He started to pace the small office as he rambled on in frustration. “I thought because you were married that I could...that we could be friends! But I was dead wrong. Oh fuck I was so fucking wrong!”

Married? Married! Cas thought...Mick has said...shit! Dean can only watch him as he tried to connect wires in his head.

Cas stopped and pointed a finger at him. “You know how guilty I’ve been feeling since I fucking kissed you again? I knew you were married but you were just...fuck I missed you so much! And you were right in front of me again.” He took a deep breath as he shakingly glared harder at Dean. “I love my fiance! I do but fuck - Mick is right, Dean.” He was pacing again, wiping tears as he went. “Mick is so right. We need to leave now before me and you end up fucking up our lives just because we still love each other.”

Those words made Dean blink back at him. He sucked in an audible breath as the realization hit him.

Cas then stopped in front of him with a dramatic eye roll and tilt of the head. “Dean? Are you really just gonna stand there and not say - oof!”

Dean took Cas’s face in his hands and finally kissed him again. He chokes down a cry as he kisses Cas slowly and softly. Feeling Cas melt against him and grip at his sleeves while his breath tickled Dean’s lips.

When he pulled away Cas’s eyes fluttered open as his eyes started to round up and fill with tears.

“You love me?” Dean asked as he pulled Cas close and nuzzled their noses together. Cas nods a few times quickly before chasing after Dean’s lips.

Their lips brushed, delicate, smoothly, as their salty tears mixed in between them. Cas’s finger shakingly pressed against the base of Dean’s jaw to hold him. They kissed once. Twice. Three times. Until they were both left dizzy and breathless while they leaned against each other.

“Say it.” Dean’s voice was small but Cas smiled as he nuzzled their noses together.

“I love you, Dean.” Dean’s heart leaped in his chest and he couldn’t stop to think when he picked Cas up in his arms to sit him down on the open space in the desk. Cas laughed as he wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him back down for another kiss.

“Your turn,” Cas tells him as he starts to pepper small kisses on the side of Dean’s face. Starting with the small tear on Dean’s lower lip and on his bruised up cheek.

Dean laughs as he nuzzles his face into Cas’s throat, the giggle that Cas let out should be fucking illegal for how cute it fucking was. Kissing him and feeling so damn weightless and happy. He was just given a stupid amount of money but this - Cas in his arms - was the happiest he has felt in so long. He loves him! He loves me!

“I love you, Cas.” Dean pulls back so he can look at him while he says it. “Fuck, I love you so much.”

Cas sucks in a shaky breath as he looks at him and fuck he looked so happy. So damn bright like Dean was handing him the whole fucking moon. Cas leaned forward again but they both froze with lips barely brushing as they heard Cas’s name being called from the garage.

“Shit! Mick.” Cas pushed Dean off as he jumped off the desk and started to straighten up his clothes and smooth down his hair. Dean didn’t even realize he pulled at Cas’s arm until Cas tugged at it, eyes wide and worried. “Dean, please, I gotta go.”

“Don’t. Don’t go, Cas.”

Cas sighed. “Please don’t make this harder than it already is. We both already have-”

“I’m not married, Cas!” That made Cas stop. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out so Dean continued. Pulling Cas close to him again. Gently cradling his face as he looks back at those wide confused eyes. “I’m not married. I don’t know where you even got that shit from but I’ve never been married. Shit, Cas, I haven’t even had a damn date in a fucking year.”

Cas’s eyes kept flickering on him as if trying to read him. “But I-I...I came back.”

“You what?”

“I came back, Dean.” Cas repeats himself as he puts a hand over Dean’s. “A few months after I left. I couldn’t handle your rejection…But one day I just missed you. I needed to hear your voice so I went through my old phone to listen to your voicemails. I went through your text and then your emails.” Cas leaned forward to press his forehead against Dean’s. “Fuck, I’m so sorry I left you like that. It was a few months after your Mom died and I knew how you would get so I saved up money to come back. To see you. To take care… but I was too late.”

Those few months were all a big blur and Dean pulled back to look at Cas’s tearful expression. “You came back?”

Cas nodded with a broken laugh mixed in with a sob. “Yeah. Dropped out of my first year and everything. Gabriel was pissed.” Cas wiped his tears with his sleeve. “But you were already with someone. I-I saw you with a baby and figured…”

“Dude, that’s not my kid. Lisa and I only dated for a while after Mom died. She was just...she was just there.”

“But Dad said you guys were planning your wedding.” He looked past Dean again, with the faraway look in his eyes. “I had to go back to him because I didn’t have enough money to go home and he told me all about you two. That you were happier than anyone has ever seen you.” Cas then blinked at him again. Focusing on Dean once more as his shoulders stiffened. He poked Dean’s shoulders as he glared at him. “He told me that you said I was dead to you. That you fucking hated me.”

Dean slapped his hand away. “Dude, stop poking me.”

“He said you hated me and wanted me dead, Dean!” Cas’s eyes were shaking now as he glared at him. “Do you hate me?”

“No! Shit, Cas! Course I don’t!” He grabbed Cas’s shoulders. “Is that what you thought this whole time?”

“Dad said-” His voice was low.

“You’re Dad hated your guts, Cas!” He watched Cas’s lost eyes slowly start to click things together. “Why would you believe him?”

“I was surprised when you said you missed me when we saw each other again.” Cas laughed, it was a little manic. “Fuck and then you said you loved me! And - And it was all too much.” Cas meets his eyes again.

“I wasn’t sure if you were messing with me. And I… And I-I-I couldn’t let you have so much control of my heart again. I just couldn’t, Dean.” Cas reaches over and cradles Dean’s face in his hands again. “Losing you - saying goodbye to you - was the hardest thing I ever had to do.”

Dean leans into the touch. “Then stop saying goodbye, Cas.”

“Then what am I supposed to do? I said yes to Mick already, Dean. I’m supposed to get married to him soon.”

“Do you love him?”

Cas nods slowly, a painful smile across his lips before he pressed their foreheads together. “But I love you more. I love you, Dean. It’s so fucking stupid how much I fucking love you.”

Dean took those words in. He swallowed them and tried to understand them before he did something he’ll regret. Cas loved him. He knows that now and he was so damn close. He was in his grasp and Dean knew that if he tilted his head forward and kissed him, that Cas would kiss him back. He knew. But it wasn’t enough.

Dean grabbed Cas’s hand as he pulled them off of him, kissing his palms, before letting them drop and taking a step back.

“I’m sorry, Cas, but I think it’s time for you to choose.” Cas reached for him but then dropped his arms to his side. “I love you and I wanna kiss you but I won’t. Not if you’re already spoken for and I’m just fucking things up for you.”

Cas nodded as he started to nervously play with his engagement ring.

Dean gave Cas his back. Not wanting to see him make the decision. Not wanting to see him walk away.

This is it. Isn't it? After this, he’ll have no choice but to move on. They will finally have closure to their story. It was just the wrong timing. It was just too messy and filled with too much miscommunication to move on from.

Cas already had a life. Had a home. Had someone he loved and loved him back. It was just Dean that couldn’t move on. Couldn’t stop thinking, what if? What if he never agreed on his date with Lisa? What if Dean caught Cas on time the first time he left? What if he pulls Cas into a kiss right now?

Then Dean flinched as he heard the door open.

And there was his answer.

Cas was gone. Once again picking Mick while Dean was left behind. Not good enough to love. To stay for.

He let his head fall into his hands as he took a deep shaky breath. No. He won’t cry. He won’t cry. Fuck. He won’t-

“Dean?”

Dean quickly spun around to face him.

“Um, I had to give the ring back.” Cas motioned as he closed the office door again. “We should probably stay here for a while. Mick is not taking the news so well.”

Dean was in front of him in a few long strides and held Cas from the back of the neck. Looking at him in disbelief. “You didn’t leave.”

Cas smiled back at him as he reached to wipe away tears from Dean’s face. “I didn’t leave.”

“Does that mean-?”

“It was an easy choice.” Cas wrapped his arms around Dean’s middle and kissed the corner of his mouth. “I pick you, Dean. Every time. I mean I do feel bad for leaving Mick like that when he just paid for the plane tickets but may-”

Cas didn’t finish his sentence as he sunk against Dean’s lips. A small gasp let Dean finally deepen the kiss between them and he felt like he finally knew what it was like to love someone. What all those cheesy rom-com movies talk about when you kiss the right person. When the right person loves you back.

“I love you.” Dean says as he starts to pepper kisses around Cas’s jaw. Going down his throat until he can nuzzle his nose into the crook of his neck. “Fuck, Cas. I love you so much and I promise. I promise. I’ll make you happy.”

“You already do.” Cas sighed as he held him, his hands going up and down Dean’s back. To reassure him. To tell him that he was right there. Finally staying. Finally choosing him. “I love you.”

And finally loving him.

Tag List 1: (Ask to be added or removed! I’m chill about it I promise.)

@galaxycastiel @superduckbatrebel @slipper007 @ar-bi-trary @winchestcas

@imlivingliferightnow @bi-bi-marie @nguyenxtrang @dancerdovegirl

@chocolatecakecas @trasherasswood @celestialcastiel @castiel-is-a-cat

@readeroftheimmortalbooks @marichankitty @confusedisaster

@castiels-bitch @destiel-bitches @tearsofgrace @wigglebox

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