#And yet i still get to deal with people being weirded out by my low sex drive...

[starshideurfics]

Thirsty Thursday - Ring my bell, part 4

Part 3

steddie, omegaverse, flagging/signaling culture, mdni 🔞

Steve and Eddie spend the late fall and early winter meeting up as often as they can to fool around. Eddie’s got his club and his band and his dealing at high school parties, while Steve has his job and Robin and the special weekly Scoops Troop hang. They still find plenty of time for each other, Eddie sneaking into Steve’s bedroom on nights when the elder Harringtons are in town, Steve arriving at Forest Hills minutes after Wayne leaves for the late shift.

Most days Eddie is too impatient to wait for Steve to wash off his blockers, so he usually greets Steve with a kiss, then drops to his knees so he can scent him properly. Which quickly becomes him peeling Steve out of his jeans and putting his tongue to good use. He’s so pussy-drunk by the time he’s made Steve come that it only takes a few strokes to have him shooting off in Steve’s hand.

After, Steve will shower, toss Eddie a washcloth for his own mess, and they’ll spend whatever time they have left cuddled up close, talking about anything and everything.

Steve tells Eddie about the weird things customers say and the games he and Robin make up to pass the time. How much his dad keeps pushing for him to apply for a mailroom job at his firm, and how he would literally rather eat glass.

Eddie will talk through the puzzles and traps he has planned for the upcoming Hellfire session, trying them out on Steve to check the difficulty—Steve even helps him build a puzzle around basketball, telling him, “Lucas will get it, don’t worry about them getting stuck.” He’ll do his reading for English aloud so it sticks better in his head, Steve curled up against his chest, struggling to stay awake. Or, on nights he’s feeling particularly brave, Eddie will pull out his songwriting notebook, and show Steve the song he’s working on about him.

They’re spending New Year’s Eve alone at Steve’s house—his parents are in Paris for the holidays—all of their friends thankfully busy so they don’t need an excuse to blow them off.

“Wayne working tonight?” Steve asks as he opens the door on Eddie’s smiling face, his cheeks pink from the cold.

“Nah, he’s out drinking with his buddies. Told me not to wait up. Told him I was spending the evening elsewhere, and with how much of your scent is in my room… He’s figured out I’m seeing someone…” Eddie looks at him with worry in his big, dark eyes. “Is that okay?”

They had both decided to be quiet about all of it: the whole scentmates-hanging out-fooling around-thing until Eddie’s done with school. But Wayne is important to Eddie. The warmth in Steve’s chest is back at the thought of someone else knowing, at it being someone who cares about his alpha. Having someone who will support them without making it a big deal.

Steve doesn’t say all that, just murmurs, “Yeah, you can tell Wayne as much as you want.”

“Thanks, Puppy.” Eddie practically tackles him in a hug, purring as he realizes Steve is already blocker-free for the night, and tucks in tight to his neck. “You should stop wearing them,” he mumbles, not even kissing his neck, but licking it, tongue stroking his mating gland over and over.

“How about you let me close the door so we don’t heat the whole neighborhood.”

Eddie giggles, but complies, allowing Steve to close the door and lead him to the living room where Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Year’s Eve is already playing on the tv, volume turned down low. “I wanna be able to scent you all the time,” Eddie pleads, tossing his leather jacket on a chair and plopping onto the couch.

“Then everyone else could, too. Pretty hard to keep things low-key if everyone can tell I’m the source of all the new scents on you.” And it’s not like Steve is the one pushing for their quiet arrangement; Eddie wants it too.

“Just want people to know you’re taken,” Eddie says softly, whining as Steve straddles his lap and pulls him into a kiss. “Don’t have to know you’re mine yet, just… Taken.”

Steve remembers then, the alpha who had seen his necklace at work a few weeks back and asked him on a date. Eddie had been back in the Horror section, and he’d heard it all. He made Steve come on his tongue three times that night, and Steve had honestly forgotten all about it.

“I could say the same thing,” Steve says, just as soft. He takes Eddie’s left hand in his, taps over his rings, and comes up short. The pig head ring is gone. Eddie doesn’t have any more sniffing to do. In its place is a bird with a forked tail, wings and tail wrapped around Eddie’s middle finger. “Eddie?”

Eddie looks down, smiles to himself when he sees Steve has noticed the new ring. “It’s a swallow. They mate for life, and they migrate really far, but they always come home. I don’t plan on going far, but I promise I’ll always come home to you, Stevie.”

Lifting Eddie’s hand, Steve places a reverent kiss to his knuckles, then he pins him back against the couch and melds their mouths together in a greedy kiss.

It’s easy to stay there, making out, grinding down against Eddie’s rapidly hardening cock, so Steve does, lets his body do his talking for the moment. His scent blossoms and mixes with Eddie’s, making the living room smell like a proper den, and he wishes with all his heart that they could simply have this all the time.

But when Eddie leaves in the morning, Steve will have to spray air freshener to cover over their mixed scents. His parents can’t come home to the house smelling like an alpha they don’t know, and he isn’t ready to have anyone—even Robin—commenting on his scent at work.

Steve pulls back with tears in his eyes, ready to whisper apologies in Eddie’s ear, but his alpha is smiling up at him. “It’s okay, Puppy. I understand, I promise I do!” Awkwardly, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small, velvet box. “I thought this might help.”

Eddie opens the box and reveals a tiny key charm, claw clasp at the top so Steve can easily clip it on or take it off his necklace. So his parents won’t ask questions. But he can have it any other time. Robin will give him shit about it, but maybe he’s ready for Robin to give him shit about it.

“I love you,” Steve blurts, snapping the jewelry box closed so his gift doesn’t get lost, and taking Eddie by the sides of his face. “I love you.”

Eddie grins, and guides Steve’s face down to his, foreheads touching as they breathe one another in. “Love you, too.”

part 5

[bobbile-blog]

Not sure if anyone’s said this yet but now that we have Laterano events plural I’m fascinated by their (imo) very deliberate choice of protagonists, and there are almost a couple of layers of narrative going on there. I struggle a little figuring out how to get this into words but specifically I think they’re chosen to be people who can carry a narrative without contradicting the orthodox morals of the church. There’s a LOT of vaguely anti-authoritarian rambling below the cut so please kindly bear with me and my English major brain.

I can’t really start there though. One of the reasons this is so brain hurty is how deeply it’s woven into the storyline, so to start, I have to verbalize how Laterano and Arknights writing more generally is different from other, similar settings. Because like, I hear the words “morally negative church in a grimdark setting” and my brain immediately shuts off. Come on, that’s so far beyond low-hanging fruit, if you’ve seen any grimdark setting ever you know exactly what that looks like. And sure, it was fine the first two or three times you saw it, depending on your tolerance for that kinda thing, but it gets boring quick and even when it was new it was kinda uninteresting story-wise. “Religion is always fake because it inspires hope which means everyone who takes meaning from it is either a corrupt grifter or naive and misled” isn’t just edgy nonsense, it’s also basically useless as an actual critique. It tells you absolutely nothing except how to tune out a particular kind of story, and a story that tries to get you to hear less is doing its job wrong.

So, Arknights does something different. Instead of denying the premise of the church entirely, it actually takes it at its word. Laterano is, in almost every definition of the word, a paradise. It is basically unmatched in terms of actual quality of life, with its only competitors being the Durin cities and maybe Aegir, and is worlds apart from now much the rest of Terra sucks. More than that, though, the paradise is specifically tailored to the worldview of a religion with a strong central authority - when I say it takes it at its word, I mean the authoritarian bits too. Laterano is a city that lives in perfect order and peace because everyone follows the law perfectly and they all understand each other and never fight. Empathy is really important for this, as it allows for a believable amount of superhuman societal order. Laterano has very little crime, political drama, or quarrels in general. It’s the promises of a strict higher authority actually taken at face value: everyone follows the rules and that means they have effectively unfettered freedom, because they don’t want to break the rules and therefore they can do anything they want.

Laterano is specifically written to be a believable paradise in a setting that has none, so that when the story then turns around and criticizes that setting, it has significantly more weight. Even when the promises of paradise are taken at face value, there are still issues that cannot be addressed because the system is inherently flawed even in the imaginary scenario where it works. Even worse, the problems that poke holes in the imaginary perfect scenario are the same problems that they face in the real world, like “how do you deal with the interpretation of scriptures” and “hey there’s this racism thing I keep hearing about should we be worried about that or what”. Because of the way this imaginary perfect system works, we then look back on our real world in a new light and understand it a little better. It’s good critique.

Okay so how did we get here and what does this have to do with the protagonists? Well, this starts with Fiametta in Guide Ahead, because she’s a really weird protagonist. This is a cold take at this point but despite being the character on the front of the box, she has very little to actually do with the central conflict of the event. Most of the conflict is handled by Ezell first and Andoain second, and Fiametta mostly putters around putting holes in people until the finale where Andoain receives the answer he’s been looking for, he turns to explain it to the world, and he runs into the only person in the whole of Laterano who does not care about his motivations or his revelation. Her role, in other words, is to replace the climax of Andoain’s story with her own, and in doing so she makes it much harder to actually get a resolution and a meaning out of the story (this should not be taken as a criticism of her character, let me cook). Guide Ahead’s ending is hazy, with only small piecemeal resolutions to its conflicts, and for the longest time that was just the way the event was written and it stood on its own.

But now, Hortus de Escapismo is out and the monkey brain see patterns. Specifically, with the choice of protagonists. Because Executor is definitely different from Fiametta as a protagonist, but there’s one particularly important connection between the two, and that’s that as I mentioned in the beginning, they allow for stories don’t contradict orthodox morality. Fiametta we went over, as she’s uninterested in any of Andoain’s morality and just wants him dead. Executor, though, is purely focused on his mission and views the world through that lens. He only wants to achieve his objective, and while helping the needy is in line with the stated objectives of the church and he does do so when able, it’s secondary to his assigned task. He does change as he gets further into the story, and we’re not gonna ignore that, but we’ll be back to it later. What I mean is more that he is designed as a person who is able to lead a story that doesn’t contradict with the morals of Laterano. He sees the injustice and suffering around him, but that’s not his job, so he doesn’t need to solve it to have a complete story with a happy ending.

This is where it really gets complicated, so I apologize if I don’t explain this very well. I see this as us dealing with multiple layers of fiction: the events of the story, the perspective of the church, and our perspective as readers. Back to the first point - authoritarian institutions almost always use stories to sell people on their brand of order. Simple stories, simple enough that even calling them myths seems like overselling it a little, your “Saint George slays a dragon” kinda thing. This is the point of the second layer, the perspective of the church. I don’t really have an in-world justification for this layer - maybe you could make the argument that it has to do with Law’s perspective on things, but I don’t totally buy that - I think it’s more in a weird narrative transition space for people who don’t read very carefully. Regardless, Fiametta and Executor’s shared indifference to the questionable circumstances surrounding them is designed to let them tell a story to prop up the existing order. Their protagonist status and their missions are specifically constructed to allow them to ignore the suffering around them, and as such ignore the larger questions that might poke holes in the larger order. They’re both playing out the story of Saint George, where they go and find a bad guy and kill them and that’s all there is to it. The story is designed and told specifically for that “that’s all there is to it”.

But, as we said earlier, this is a good critique, and as such it intentionally undercuts this story with the third layer: what we actually see as readers. We are shown the suffering and the injustice, and then get to see our protagonists ignoring that to pursue their goals. This is what gives Guide Ahead’s ending its unique texture, which sets it apart from every other event with a vaguely unresolved ending. We have seen the actual issues with Laterano, and also watched our protagonist explicitly ignore them in favor of her own story. It’s unsatisfying in a way that only really makes sense to me if we as the readers have an understanding of intentional authorship. Whether it be Yvangelista XI or Law or The Actual Real Life Pope, there are issues here that we want to see a resolution to but people are choosing not to address them. Again, it’s good critique. Not only does it push the reader to unpack and understand the actual real-world technique, but it also helps blunt it. You have just seen a plot and protagonist ring uncharacteristically hollow. You then look around to see why that is, and you realize there are many things that should have been resolved that weren’t. The next time you see a story resolve with that same hollow-ness, you know where to look. Surprise! Harry Potter was propaganda the whole time. It’s okay, it was never good, you were just twelve.

I guess the last thing is where we go from here, because Executor’s story breaks this mold somewhat. In Hortus de Escapismo, he has to deal with a mission that isn’t actually bounded by his normal rules, and because of that he actually does have leeway to help the people around him. He starts as someone who is totally mission-focused, but by the end of the event he’s done a total 180 and is blocking Oren’s attack, which makes the mission harder but helps the non-mission-critical civilians of the monastery. He breaks from the rigid thinking of “kill the bad guy and that’s all there is do it”, and gives his attention to the people he isn’t supposed to see. I think this is an indication of the direction we’re going to be headed in the future with Laterano events. The events aren’t going to get better - they’re going to keep being just as morally murky and complicated as in the past - but the characters are going to get better at handling it, and when they do, they’re going to actually start to change things for the better.

Goddamn that was a lot of writing for 1 AM. I still have a. Lot of thoughts on this event with stuff like empathy and Lemuen and Federico being an autistic icon(my beloved) but I’m going to leave things there, I think, because if I write for any longer my phone is going to crash when I try to post this. Anyway if you actually made it to the end thanks for listening to me rambling and I hope that made sense. Cheers.

[kirarinlovesidols]

Prologue part 2.

Before we start i must put a warning (more like explanation) here since some of you were confused lmao. I did talk about it in my lore post but thought i should put this here too.

But basically MC and Nahida's roles were not only switched but also changed slightly, the story of sumeru as well.

Like, the reader is called LESSER LORD Rukkhadevata cause they take on Nahida's role of being the bird inside a cage.

Nahida is called GREATER LORD Kusanali and is the OG archon who helped deshret save the desert. She just didn't die, just shrank in size and somehow retained her memories.

Does that mean a lot of shit in Sumeru would change? yes. But this isn't a genshin story so what happened there will rarely be mentioned in detail.

Anyway that's all, sorry about the confusion.

⟥────────✤────────────────────⟤

⟥────────✤────────────────────⟤

You were usually nervous if not straight up shy but now? now you’re just angry. You had to deal with the stress of getting chased around by a creature you do not even understand where it came from, apparently got transported into another world and now you had to listen to people calling your powers unstable. That was an insult to the Irminsul itself and even YOU weren’t just going to stand by it.

If you thought the stares of the other students were overwhelming then, now it’s almost unbearable. In normal circumstances the cowardly Lesser Lord that you are would just hold her head down and try to ignore it but everyone has a breaking poing, this is yours.

“Is she Fae? i mean look at those ears!”

“I guess so? what other explanation would we have?” The gossiping was getting a bit out of hand and coming from the dorm that was apparently under the red haired boy so he glared at his underclassmen to get them to shut up.

“Grrrrrrrr!”  Grim growled from inside his cube-like prison, wondering what the hell was it even made out of? why couldn’t he burn it? and why did it smell nice in there?

“He…isn’t yours?” Asked Crowley dumbfounded

“No, i’ve never seen him in my life.” You said with a deadpan expression, arms crossed.

The man nervously cleaned his throat– “*Ahem* Then I shall have it expelled from campus. I shall even spare it from being served as dinner.”

Your face IMMEDIATELY contorted in disgust at the thought of the people here eating a cat. Now that was vile.

“My, but I AM kind. ...Someone take this away, please.”  Crowley just settled for ignoring you and held the cube in front of him, expecting someone to come and dispose of the creature inside.

“Oh, right!”  With a snap of your fingers Grim was now free from his prison but being held down by the glasses wearing boy with the weird charismatic voice of earlier.

“Leave it to me, headmage. I’ll be sure to properly deal with him.”  With a merchant’s smile on his lips the boy walked past both of you. However…you didn’t miss his whispering, low yet you could barely make it out.

“I have never seen such magic before…i MUST have it…” You’ll….pretend like you didn’t hear that, it’s for the better. Your powers aren’t something one can easily steal anyway.

“Nooooo! Let me gooooo! You fools better remember my name!”  Grim’s voice started fading in the distance the further he got dragged from the mirror chamber.

“Cause I'm gonna go down in the annals of magic history! Just you wait!”

Your expression softened as you felt a bit sorry for him. There must be a reason to why he was so desperate to stay despite being a…monster? creature? whatever he is. Still fascinating though.

“I hope he can get back home safely…” You whispered to yourself before hearing Crowley let out a big sigh.

“Well, that was quite the unexpected fracas. I hereby declare that orientation has concluded.

Housewardens, please escort your students back to the dorms.” At his permission the students who happened to be sitting down or browsing their phones stood up, preparing to move.

Some of them still stared and some others did a sign using their thumb and pinky while mouthing “call me”. What did that even mean, call who? where?

“..Hm? Come to think of it, I don't see Housewarden Draconia of House Diasomnia anywhere.” The masked man wondered cupping his chin.

“And that surprises you? Dude's a total recluse.” The animal-eared boy said followed by a quick yawn.

“Wait a sec... Did anyone even invite him?” The red eyed boy asked.

“If you're that worried about him missing out, maybe you should have told him yourself.” The pretty boy examined his nails, they still seemed to be drying.

“Maybe, but I don't know him too well either…” The red eyed young man looked to the side apologetically.

You wondered why were they playing ping pong with the idea of inviting this “Draconia” person to an important ceremony. You weren’t an specialist but wasn’t it normal to…check? or…communicate properly? 

“Draconia... Like, Malleus Draconia? THAT Draconia?”

“Holy shit i didn’t think the rumors were true…is it too late to backpedal?”

“I wonder if my mom would be mad if i just went home early.”

At this point you were starting to feel a stress headache setting in so you rested your hand on your forehead and closed your eyes for a few minutes, so when you came back to the land of the living all these people would be gone.

“....kkha……R…..Miss Rukkha!”  Oh. You didn’t really….hear that.

“Please pay attention when people are talking to you.” At that she just gave him a look that only said “I’m so very sorry”.

He seemed to accept the “apology” and resumed talking.

“Well, Miss Rukkha This is a most unfortunate turn of events, I'm afraid that you will not be attending Night Raven Collage after all.” He sounded relieved to finally get rid of you which was rude to say the least. He could at least pretend.

Not that you care about him caring about you but…it’s not very nice, alright?

“Surely you realize that I cannot very well admit a female student with unstable magic to my academy, right?”   He put a hand on your back in the same way a father would to comfort his children, which made you VERY upset again.

First of all. How many times are you going to have to say your powers ARE NOT UNSTABLE! you felt like you were truly going to lose it and show him true unstable. However he seemed to realize you didn’t enjoy that term very much, your face spoke volumes, so he straight up just talked over you to avoid hearing what he considers to be whiny bullshit from some random ass girl who…honestly….scares him a little bit when angry.

“BUT! worry not. The Dark Mirror will see you safely home. Now, step into the gate, and visualize the place you came from.”   You were going to let that one slide since he was going to send you home, FINALLY.

You cannot BELIEVE you’re going to say this but…your cage back in the Sanctuary of Surasthana is looking real comfortable right now, you just want to sleep for another 500 years actually. Being around people is wonderful as it’s draining.

And yet…a small part of you screamed at you for even accepting to go home. You’re finally free! run away! go live your life!

You crushed such thoughts under an airtight sense of guilt.

You had no right to run away or to have some life outside of Sumeru. Even if you were usually held captive there STILL were things you could do for the people, that’s why you used Katherine as your proxy sometimes. And….Greater Lord Kusanali would be worried if you disappeared. You didn’t want to give her anymore grief than you already have.

So you stepped in front of the mirror, closed your eyes and imagined yourself back in your prison.

“O Dark Mirror! Return this soul to where it belongs!”   Crowley extended his hand as if issuing a command.

Yet…

Nothing happened.

Nada.

Utterly disappointing.

“Ahem* L-let us, er...try this again. O Dark Mirror! Return this soul—” He commanded the mirror to try again only for it to cut him off.

“There is no such place.”   At that your heard dropped. You were already starting to get nervous but huh? what do you MEAN there’s no such place? it can’t send you back?

“What?” The man demanded an explanation but was just as confused as you were.

“There is no place in this world where this soul belongs,none.”

You flinched. 

You already knew that. You knew there was no place for you anywhere. Not in Sumeru, not in the Akademiya, not in the desert, not even…in another world.

“How can that be? My, but today is a veritable cavalcade of impossible phenomena!” The headmage held his head on his hands, ready to give up — “This has never happended throughout my long tenure. I must confess that I am at something of a loss”

He looked at you again, ignoring your obviously sad expression.

“Tell me: From what land do you hail?” That question hurt you even more.

You just smiled bitterly, holding back tears. Your eyes lidded with sadness highlighted your face as you answered.

“Teyvat….”

The man shook his head lightly.

“I'm afraid I am not familiar with such a place.”

⟥────────✤────────────────────⟤

Never have you thought you would get out of your cage. If you told your past self she would be able to actually experience the world with her own body she would’ve laughed and…then started crying, maybe.

At the moment you found yourself sitting on top of a dusty couch inside a VERY creepy dorm. The ceiling had a bunch of holes, which wouldn’t be too bad since that means at least the light of the moon would be able to get in but tonight it’s raining. Hard.

You didn’t like the dark and you didn’t like being alone, it leaves you to your own thoughts…and that���s all you’ve ever had for most of the time.

A sigh escaped your mouth as you decided to think about things to occupy your head, like…the fact you can use your powers! right, that. You pull your hand up and watch as dendro energy accumulates there easily. Since you can still use these powers it must mean your link with Irminsul must still be active. Which must also mean…this world can’t be too far away from Teyvat’s firmament.

Crowley said he would find a way for you to get home and even offered you a place to stay even if it was falling apart by the second. So knowing at least you have something as important as the link with the world tree comforts you slightly.

Still…you wondered how Greater Lord Kusanali was doing…did she realize you’re gone? is she sad? is she looking for you? You hope she is.

In almost perfect comedic timing you get a scare from a lightning bolt that seemed to have fallen dangerously close to the dorm. The noise that followed was a tree falling. You flinched at the sound vibrations it caused.

That must’ve been one big tree, yikes….

And if it weren’t enough you suddenly hear a very familiar voice.

“GWAH! It's pouring out there!” Grim just showed up out of literal nowhere soaked to the bone. Yes it scared you as well.

“W-what are you doing here! didn’t you get kicked out?!” You held a hand close to your heart in a feeble attempt to calm it down.

“Bwahaha! That look on your face is priceless! Like a bat that got blasted by a water gun.” He grinned and then shook the water off his body, on you. Deadass.

“Urgh! you didn’t have to do that! now i’m soaked too!” You closed your eyes and tried to shield yourself as much as you could, to no avail though.

“That’s called revenge for locking me up! anyway, you really thought i wouldn't just sneak back onto campus the second I escaped pryin' eyes? You all got no idea what I'm capable of!” Grim puffed his chest as a smirk graced his face.

“I get that you’re very persistent, if anything.” You took off your now soaked robe and materialized your usual garments. Your dress was way too long and it dragged on the dusty floor but you could just either wash it later or outright float.

Grim looked at you with a clear judgmental expression— “Your magic is so flashy, kinda hurts my eyes!”  He rubbed his paws on his face to prove his point. 

“I’m not the one spitting fire everywhere, mister.” Your hands rested on your waist as you “scolded” him.

“Why did you come back anyway? Aren’t you afraid they’re going to kick you out again?” You floated high up to the ceiling and using your pointer fingers you made a little “square” as if you were scanning the holes on the wood or just pretending to use a camera. After a few seconds dendro energy formed and filled the spots where the water was coming from.

You weren’t as creative as Greater Lord Kusanali when it came to your Irminsul powers but you still could do somethings with it. Still, this was a power used mainly to create, not destroy.

“Alright, fixed.” You floated down back to sit on the couch just in time for Grim to answer.

“Isn't it obvious?” He climbed on the little coffee table in front of you and waved his paws excitedly.

“I was born to do this! I'm a magical prodigy who's got the makin's to become one of the greatest mages who ever lived! So I've been waitin' and waitin' for that black carriage to come for me, and yet…” — His gaze seemed to get sadder for a second before shrugging it off and going back to normal.

“Hrmph! That Dark Mirror's got no eye for talent! That's why I took the initiative and came here myself.”  He jumped down from the table and motioned for you to go to the side.

“Scoot over! it’s freezing here!”  Oh. You were kinda taking a lot of space. You moved your legs to rest on the floor properly and smiled at the cat.

“Well, Grim. I think that’s very cool of you to chase after your dream, surely you can become a great mage.”  It was genuinely impressive of him to try and take fate in his own hands — uh…paws. His eyes were full of hopes and dreams, just like the children of sumeru whose dreams you used to watch over.

Needless to say he did a double take, not used to such kind words coming from anyone much less humans.

“W-what? that’s so cheesy! don’t say that kind of stuff out nowhere! myahh, so lame!”

Obviously a bit embarrassed the cat just hissed and swatted at her, only managing to look cute in the process. Still that was rude!

“That’s so rude! i was just trying to say i believe in you!”

You two bickered for a few minutes until Grim went deathly still.

“Hm? what is it?” You ask in confusion.

“Did you…hear that?” He seemed to be staring pretty hard at something so you turn your head to see what it was about.

“Hear…what?” Ok, now that was scary. You aren’t the best when it comes to stuff like this.

“I think it came from the corridor…” Grim squinted as if trying to make out something in the shadows.

“Want to go take a look? i’ll go by myself if you’re scared.” You didn’t want to force him even if you were kinda scared as well. At least floating was better than just stepping on old moldy wood.

“Who are ya calling scared?! I’m way ahead of ya!” Getting on all fours and jumping off the couch the cat bolted straight into the darkness of it.

⟥────────✤────────────────────⟤

“Grim are you sure you heard something?” You floated near him with one of your dendro constructs floating behind you. It wasn’t as effective as a torch but at least it offered some light.

“Yeah i am! i’m not lyin’!”  He hissed again walking slightly behind you, which was ironic considering how enthusiastic he was about finding out the source of the noise earlier.

Creeeeaaak….

Your long ears twitch as you turn your head. Ok, you’re back to being scared.

“I think I just heard something?!” In a panic you tried to direct the little dendro sphere to illuminate the area. 

What a fucking mistake.

“Boo.”

“AHHHHHHHHH! G-GHOSTS!” A scream rips through Grim’s throat.

Yup. Straight out of a classic fontainian horror movie.

The ghost’s face made itself visible due to the eerie green light of your little sphere. It was sincerely terrifying and you wondered why did your powers have to be neon green. Now that’s just foul. You felt your body freeze as you barely stopped yourself from opening a new hole on one of the many unstable walls of this dorm, literally you got jumpscared so badly you lost control of your hability to fly.

Your stomach sank and your breathing stopped as you saw how you were 5 centimeters away from hitting an actual wall.

“Hoooly Archons….” Your voice trembled.

“Yee hee hee... Bwa ha ha ha ha ha.” And to make it worse the ghost was laughing at you both. Your face burned in embarrassment but also anger for being put in such a predicament and in such an embarrassing pose.

You properly stood straight and immediately regretted ever being scared, for the supernatural being was anything but.

A goofy face, a top hat….really? he looked like a character from one of the books you read to children when borrowing Katherine’s body.

“We haven't had visitors in ages!” Said the ghost with the top hat. “All the people who used ta live here got scared of us and ran away.” Another one popped up from behind him. They both wore top hats so it’s best to just call one big ghost and medium ghost for now.

You looked down at Grim who only shivered pathetically.Yeah, seemed like you would have to do something about this yourself.

“We just want a new ghost to play with! What do you say, buddy?” The big ghost was getting a bit too close for comfort so with a flick of your wrist your dendro construct homed in on him and immediately changed shape as it got close, changing into a rectangle. Basically just a longer form of the cube prison you had kept Grim in before.

And you thought you had him, you really did.

Except your target literally phased through it. You couldn’t constrict something that was incorporeal after all.

Nice one, dumbass. You better take that L as well.

You gasped as realization hit you. SEE? this is why you weren’t good enough! if it was Greater Lord Kusanali she wouldn’t even have done something so stupid!

“Grim?! do you want to maybe help me?” You said panicking yet AGAIN. If this kept going they could possibly kill you two since they mentioned they wanted more ghost buddies.

“I'm a master sorcerer! I ain't afraid of any dumb ghosts!” Amidst his shivering the cat managed to talk the talk but couldn’t walk the walk. His fire missed the ghosts by a mile due to having his eyes closed which just raised your concerns tenfold.

“Nuh-uh. Not even close.” A new ghost mocked the sorcerer-wannabe, this one a lot thinner? let’s just call him tall ghost.

“Over here! Over here! Ah ha ha ha!” The big and tall one kept circling him as if toying with his inability to actually hit his targets.

“Grim! You’ll set the entire dorm ablaze if this keeps going, please open your eyes and aim properly!” Even YOU had to dodge one of his blasts. His pyro energy was strong, there was just not sign of control much less technique.

“Shaddup! I don't need any lip from you, human!” Now he was just taking out his frustration over being incompetent on you, absolutely unnecessary.

You hoped that what you’re about to say doesn’t get you in trouble with Crowley later.

“Listen! maybe if you get rid of them mister Crowley will let you enroll in the academy! wouldn’t that be nice? being a hero?”  You felt so bad for using his pride like that, truly another thing that just made you different from Kusanali and deserving of being called the Lesser Lord. She would never use something as dirty as manipulation to get people to listen to her. But this is all you can do so you would dwell on such thoughts later.

“Myah...?! Hmph... I'm Grim, Master Sorcerer! How come I can't even hit one of these little-” Another missed hit that ended up making a very obvious burn mark on the wood. 

“Grrrr! Stop ganging up on us! yer a buncha cowards!” Ok that wasn’t enough…so you’ll have to try harder.

“I’ll help you! surely if i tell mister Crowley how cool you were he’ll understand!” Yup, you’re so going to drown in guilt later.

“Ugh! You tell me which way the ghosts are!”  Grim finally gave in to the idea of teamwork and turned to you. He was expecting some kind of quote or something ridiculous but most certainly not you picking him up and using him a flamethrower.

“HEY! THIS ISN’T WHAT I MEANT!”  The monster struggled and even scratched you a bit. His claws were very sharp so a little blood trickled down your arms. Pain wasn’t anything new, however it’s been at least 5 centuries since you got hurt.

“I-I’m sorry! this is just way easier! i’ll make it up to you later!” That was all you could tell him before one of the ghosts went in for the kill again.

So in this very goofy way you and Grim made sure they disappeared. By the end you were both mentally and physically exhausted.

Archons you had no stamina at all, this was horrible.

“We did it…we did it Grim….” You said while trying to get your breathing to go back to normal.

“Aw, geez, I was scared outta my-” He ceased immediately and coughed before resuming—

“I mean, they didn't faze me one bit! just a walk in the park for a mage of my caliber! Whaddaya got to say now, ghosties? That's right!” Well that’s rich coming from the guy who was shivering so bad he looked like a whole chihuahua.

“Sure Grim…you’re truly amazing…” You rolled your eyes. Buttering him up was for the better after all.

“Good evening. In another gesture of my immense kindness, I have brought you dinner.” Crowley let himself inside the dorm only to see you wearing some weird clothes he had never seen anywhere before and a very much not-thrown-outside Grim.

“Wait. That's the creature we ejected for causing trouble at orientation! What is it doing here?!” He looked at you as if expecting some kind of explanation, you just gave him an apologetic smile and shrugged. The cat just got in, that’s all.

“Takin' care of yer ghost problem, that's what. You're welcome, by the way!” Grim’s forked tail swayed in annoyance.

“What’s the meaning of this Miss Rukkha? But you know, on that topic, I do seem to recall that this dorm had a mischievous ghost problem…Ah, yes... That's why it was abandoned, in fact. The ghosts scared away all the students. And you're saying that you two joined forces to drive them away?” He stared at both of you with a weird expression on his face, you didn’t like that.

“ ‘Joined forces’ ain't exactly how I'd describe it, More like I drove 'em away, and the human watched. Don’t I deserve a can of tuna for this?”  What? you tried! what you could do was limited! the enemy was incorporeal and Irminsul didn’t allow nor you or Greater Lord Kusanali to use desctructive powers! what else were you supposed to do?

“T-That’s not true! I tried to help! it’s just that…my powers were completely useless against something that can phase through walls!”  There was no reason for you to explain yourself to this figure of authority yet you did, you felt like you had to.

“Would you two be so kind as to demonstrate your ghost-eradication methods for me?” Oh yeah, he’s planning something.

Grim hissed at that.

“One, no, 'cause I already wiped 'em all out. And two, no, 'cause where's my tuna?!” No one ever said there would be tuna, he literally made that up.

“I will play the part of the ghosts. As for the tuna, you'll receive it when you defeat me. Oh, what generosity, Crowley…” The masked man wiped an imaginary tear from his face. 

“Ah, you gotta be kiddin' me. I gotta work together with the human again?” Grim looked at you with an expression that said “dude i’m tired of this”. And you felt even more offended. You had been nothing but kind to him! why was this pyro cat so mean? still you did say all of that about him enrolling earlier so…you’ll feel even worse later if you don’t at least try to get him inside NightRaven.

“It won’t be that bad, this could be your chance to show off and enroll!” You gave him a wink followed by a thumbs up.

⟥────────✤────────────────────⟤

After another “””””””””ghost hunting””””””””” session and a convoluted conversation you managed to get Grim enrolled.

His happiness made you a bit happy as well. Maybe it was his childish behavior but you felt like you couldn’t leave him alone.

And you couldn’t anyway, since the both of you are now the “janitorial team”. You read in a book once a saying that went “Those who don’t work shall not eat”, so cleaning up the school seemed like a fair deal considering he was letting you stay here despite being from another world and breaking rules.

Besides, taking odd jobs like these would allow you to have more freedom and  check out the books inside the library, maybe they had something about sending you back to Teyvat.

You stared at the ceiling while laid in the bed you had to share with Grim since it was the only clean one and you both were tired, ruminating on why you had the feeling things would go wrong.

Well, you shall know for sure when the sun rises up again.

⟥────────✤────────────────────⟤

I've been writing this since 1pm, it's 1am now.

I take so long to write smth so cringe, oh my god.

As always, sorry and boy am i tired!

Part 3 should be coming in sunday and the final part on monday.

After that i'll be addressing the love interests and then start book 1.

Also taglist before i forget: @coffee-or-hot-cocoa

[thechaoticplayer]

The Confident Student Council President 🔞

Author's note: had this sitting in my drafts for about 2 weeks... giggling and twirling hair- this didnt come out exactly the way I want it but I guess I'll cope + ratio

Summary: your stupid ahh male friend asks you to get the shoulder pads (that he forgot) for football practice. however, you werent expecting the student council president to be inside, the man you've been crushing on for quite some time now...

Contains: x reader, Dom! Ver Vermillion, him being super demanding and sweet at the same time, this was inspired by his fucking shower stream (I WAS SCREAMING), theres a bit of plot, praise, smut yet again it's not even a surprise anymore

VER VERMILLION was something to admire. In class, he had a sense of authority to him, but never abused the power he was bestowed with. He was very gentle but stern, like an mature older brother. Ver had no problem putting someone in their place, and it put you in awe of him. You quietly watched him from afar. Noticed every tiny detail about him.

Ver's hands. They're so pretty, but with a single gesture, he could make the whole room silent.

Ver's voice. Calm and low, still somehow heard over the ruckus of the classroom. When he raised his voice in the slightest, everyone knew to shut up.

Ver's smile. He was constantly smiling. A soothing smile that put everyone at ease. He could easily charm anyone within a 10 feet radius with his smile alone.

Ver's face. Sometimes an expression of relief, of slight irritation, of slight happiness. You wondered what expression he'd make if you littered his face with kisses. then you quickly shook the idea out of your head, because it was highly unlikely of ever occurring.

Everyone knew who Ver Vermillion was. Hardly anyone knows you, never the less know of your existence. You were content with that, because you could never be someone near as popular as Ver. Besides, you weren't anything much, just another valedictorian who gets asked the answers to questions.

Speaking of which...

A classmate leans over to your desk, where you sit scrawling down notes. "Psst. Hey."

An internal sigh. "Yes?"

He glances at the teacher before looking back at you. "Do you have the answer to number four?"

"Yes. Right here." You point to your sheet and angle it to him, where he stares for a good moment and nods.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

Back to being ignored again. Not that you minded.

Your attention shifts back to the council president. He was nearly in every single class you had, which you were grateful for. It was nice to observe him. Not in a creepy way. Thatd be weird.

Ver speaks with a student to his left, a small smile on his face, eyes twinkling mysteriously. You pondered what went on that head of his. He had to deal with students almost all the time. How did he deal with it all? Especially the annoying ones. God, what a pain in the ass.

You didn't realize you were staring at Ver until he glances in your direction, eyes locking for a split second. Fear and embarrassment flash through your body as you jerk your head back down, as if you weren't awkwardly staring at the man not too long ago. This happened frequently, to your dismay. Always staring and always caught. No way to escape the council president.

Did he think you were a freak for doing so? maybe.

You didn't look up the rest of the class period.

With a swing of your bag, you hold the bag on one shoulder, adjusting the strap to your liking. You push in the chair and weave through the stream of people out the classroom. You were on your way to meet with a close friend of yours, the only person you considered a "friend" anyway.

He was doing his football practice today, which you usually always came to. You had nothing else better to do anyway. He contrasted your introverted side, him being such a people pleaser. It wasn't a surprise that others began to ship you two together. But you two were just friends. Nothing more. Besides, you had eyes on someone else. And your friend knew that. Constantly teasing about your red cheeks everytime you were in close proximity with Ver. Each time earned him a "shut up!" And a punch to the shoulder.

A small bzzt vibrates in your pocket. With another series of buzzes to go with it. You paw through the one hundred millions of things in your pockets before pulling out the desired object. Your screen lights up to reveal texts from... well speak of the devil.

Hey uh... ik ur on ur way to my practice, but could you get my shoulder pads for me?

I totally forgot abt them

Hurry up coach is gonna kill me

How the fuck did this kid forget one of the most important things of playing such a violent sport? Space cadet...

You respond with a quick "yea" before scurrying off towards the direction of the boys' locker room. You actually had to shove past a couple of people, which you hated to do because that's being an asshole, but you also didn't want your friend to get yelled at by his strict coach.

You halt at door, furtively searching around the place before just rushing inside. You don't need any speculation on your plate along with huge packets of work. Upon seeing no one, you sneak inside.

Now which locker has his stuff in it? You quickly tap out the question and send it. You look around frantically, the "delicious" scent of sweaty men in the air. God, they need some damn air freshener.

You open each locker and judge from the sport bag which one was his. He wasn't answering, causing the anxiety to rise steadily. You really didn't want to get caught in here.

Deciding to calm yourself, you pause and recollect your thoughts. Clearing your mind, your ears pick up the sound of running water. Confused, you approach the sound. Did one of them forget to turn off the faucet? But it sounded more of a shower on, and as you approached, steam exited out the doorway of which you presumed was the showers.

You scratch your head. Who would be in here? All the boys are already outside. Who the hell would be showering right now anyway? One of these football heads must've left the shower on.

You peek inside, squinting through the steam. That has to be some hot water. You peer through the some to see a lean figure under the shower head. The steam clears a bit and your eyes widen.

Rivulets of water roll down his skin, spiraling down from his chest, down his abs, to his thighs, down his sculpted calves. He raises his arms up to run his fingers through his hair, his back muscles rippling with the motion. His arms aren't extremely muscular, but you could tell he worked out. You only could see him from the back, as your gaze traveled further down, your face felt extremely hot and a hundred million thoughts went through your mind.

Ver Vermillion.

You were... spying on the student council president. in the shower.

Oh god. In the shower. He was so...

Fucking hot.

You skitter back, almost slipping on the tile and banging your head against the changing stalls. A hand pressed to your mouth to keep you from screeching. Emotional moment. very fucking emotional. Suppressing your urge to scream on the top of your lungs because oh my god? Thousand hundred question marks?

You hurry back to the locker area, ramming your shoulder hard into a locker after taking a turn too fast. You hiss in pain, rubbing your shoulder.

"Hello?" Ver's voice calls. You curse yourself. "Is someone there?"

Nope nope. You're Casper.

You run into the other hall of lockers as the sound of water slapping tile approaches. You cease breathing through your fingers, your heart like a jack rabbit in your chest. You press your back into the metal, wishing you could just melt into the locker.

"I know you're in here. I can feel the prescence of a soul."

Sheeeeesh... was there anyway of escaping this? you eye the only exit, the only one you entered through. If you sprinted, would he be able to make out your face? He'd probably wouldn't even recognize your back; you weren't anyone extremely memorable or anything.

"Don't even try to run. I'll catch you," Ver says, voice light. "Might as well show yourself."

You sigh, concluding the fact you could not escape unscathed. You edge closer towards the corner of the wall, peering over to look at Ver.

A hand clutching the towel around his waist, he watches you reveal yourself with a flash of surprise and was that recognition? before it was replaced with a stern look.

"Would you like to tell me what you're doing in the boys' locker room?" Ver questions, seemingly not minding the fact he was practically naked. Way too confident to be okay with the presence of a female in his midst. which was very attractive. But not the point.

Your cheeks burn. "...my friend, who is on the boys' football team, forgot his shoulder pads." You tried not to stare for too long.

You shift your weight from foot to foot as he raises a skeptical brow at you. "Why couldn't he get it himself?"

"He's already on the field," you answer lamely. "Plus his coach... is mean."

Ver walks and pauses in front of you, holding a hand up near your chest. You stare, confused. He seems to be studying something before closing his hand. "You aren't trying to be deceitful. However..."

"Yes?" You swallow, the heat becoming unbearable. You could feel the heat resonate off him. A throbbing ache between your legs cause you to squeeze your legs together.

Ver's eyes darken, the hand now cupping your chin. "I can feel your desire. for me."

Hellllloooooo?

Your breath catches, unusable to look away from his startling gaze. "Uh..."

"You've been watching me. You always seem to be looking out for me without knowing. That small box of mochi, my favorite... that was you, wasn't it? And the line of students trying to ask me questions were suddenly cut in half, stating that their questions were answered by someone else." Ver observes your facial expression and you can't help but break eye contact. "I see."

"I can explain?" You whisper quietly, your skin flaming at his touch.

"You can, and you will. You see, I've been watching you as well. I've caught on to you, so I decided to watch you. Always helping others, without wanting anything back. Willing to do anything to help me because..." Ver pauses. "Why?"

"Because..." you falter. Might as well spit it out, right? You gulp again. "Because..."

His eyes bore into you, and it wasn't helping. Maybe he didn't need to know after all?

"Why don't you show me?"

"...What?"

"Show me why."

You stare at the council president. What exactly was he asking? Then it clicked. Oh. But... you couldn't dare to-

Could you?

Just this once. Life is short, right? and he's so close...

You slowly rise onto your toes, closing the distance between you and Ver. Before your nose touches you stop suddenly, the anxiety and nervousness causing you to halt. What if this was a mistake? what if he didn't want to kiss you? what if this isn't what he meant at all? What if-

A small groan exits his lips as Ver grabs the back of your head and pulls you close until his mouth finds yours. Your eyes widen with a gasp and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue inside your mouth.

You whine softly, letting go of all the worries and throw your arms around him tightly. Ver groans once more, his hands gripping your hips as the hot make-out session continues, inappropriate wet sounds echoing through the room.

You stutter backwards and your back hits the locker and continue, tongues dancing together as Ver tugs on your shirt. You pull away, pulling the shirt over your head, and smash your lips against his once more.

Ver's hands roam all over your torso, sliding up your waist to your back, unclipping your bra but not removing it.

He breathes against your neck, "Is this what you want?"

"Yes," you reply, just as breathless.

"Are you sure?" Ver gazes into your eyes, searching for the affirmative.

You nod, leaning to his face to nip at his bottom lip.

He explodes.

Ver throws the bra away with a low growl, biting your neck and eliciting a quiet moan from you. You unbuckle your own pants, the pants dropping down to the floor as Ver sucks love bites all over your delicate skin. One hand fondling your breast, his thumb lightly skimming your tit and a stammered breath escapes you.

"Your tits are already hard," Ver notes, pinching one of them and making you squeal, flushing horribly. "I wonder if..."

A finger presses itself against your clothed cunt and you whimper, holding onto his shoulders tightly. Ver sighs, rubbing circles on your sensitive area.

"I can feel how soaking wet you are... this whole time, you wanted me this bad?" He chuckles quietly, enjoying the way your legs quiver in anticipation. "I'll show you how much I want you too."

His finger slides underneath your panties and meets your clit. You gasp, biting you lip as the council president works his magic on your wet pussy, his ministrations causing you to whimper. Ver kisses your neck, mumbling praises against your skin.

"You're doing such a good job..." Ver whispers, two fingers inside you now and you moan. He pumps the two in and out quickly, his long fingers almost kissing your g-spot and it makes it harder for you to hold yourself up. "Good girl..."

You whimper louder. "Please..."

"Please what, sweetheart?" Ver purrs, somehow increasing speed and your moans increase in volume. "Are you going to cum?"

You nod quickly, the ache growing tenfold. But then he stopped. You open your mouth to ask but when he rips your panties. You squeak in surprise as he hoists you up, your legs instinctively locking around his hips. Ver's towel audibly drops to the floor.

Ver's tip nudges against your hole. He looks at you. "May I?"

"Y-yes," you stammer, burying your face into his neck.

His tip nudges into you, entering completely and bottoms out, groaning. You moan loudly, your walls clenching around his hot cock. He filled you up completely and tears blur your vision slightly. Ver stretched you out deliciously, and he started to thrust in and out.

His nails dig into your hips as he slots his hips up against yours, grunting in your ear and leaving sloppy kisses all over you. Ver kisses you deeply, swallowing your noises as your juices stick between your bodies. You felt extremely warm all over.

His cock drags in and out your walls, pressing against the spot repeatedly. Pleasure racks your body. You rake your nails across his back, toes curled as the council president rams himself into you. The metal door groans against the movement.

"Shit..." Ver mumbles with a small groan. His dick throbs hard inside you as you clench around him. "I'm so close baby, s' close..."

A small whine as the only response you give as you squeeze your legs around him, the only indication of your incoming orgasm. He speeds up, panting hard.

"Cum with me, sweetheart, cum with me," he speaks in one breath.

You nod, lips parted as you lean your head back against the locked. "Yesyesyesyes-"

His seed ribbons inside as your own cum squirts all over his cock, a soft and drawn out moan in your hair as his hips stutter against you. Your legs limp as your chest rises up and down quickly, sweat shining on your skin. It felt awfully sticky down there, but you didn't mind one bit when Ver looked up at you with a soft and affectionate gaze.

He brushes the hair plastered to your forehead away and says softly, "you're so beautiful, you know that?"

"I..." You blush, leaning into his touch. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Let's clean you up." Still inside you, probably because the man didn't want to pull out just quite yet, he carries you to the showers to wash you up.

THE NEXT DAY...

Ver smiles at you from across the room and you wave, blushing hard. The both of you were officially dating after the... well. Burst of sudden confession you two did.

Your friend, however, was extremely awkward around you and Ver. He was constantly avoiding yours and the president's gaze for some odd reason. You have been meaning to ask him, so you lean close to him.

"Hey, you've been acting weird. What's up? Is it because I didn't get your shoulder pads and got in trouble?" You tease with a small smile.

The tips of his ears go red as he stares down at his desk. "About that..." he clears his throat. "I... did try to get them but..."

Realization hits you in the face like a brick wall. Your entire skin takes on a pink hue. "You-"

"Yeahhhh. I should've stayed put honestly..."

"Oh. My. god."

"Not that I care or anything. Go get some girl, I guess."

"Please shut up."

"Sounds like you two were getting into it pretty-"

You punch him. Hard. A yelp of pain satisfies you and Ver looks over at you two, startled. you smile sweetly.

Greatest two days of your life.

[calliecwrites]

Shifter HRT, part 5 – Mind Before Matter (6 Months)

I’ve been on shifter HRT for half a year now. Half a year! The physical changes are still going slowly, but the mental changes are really speeding up. My mind is getting ready for the kind of body I’ll have. I’d say that’s a sign the big physical changes are coming soon.

I’m fully aware of my body now. Not in the vague way humans are – I mean everything. I know my shape, how it’s all laid out on the inside, and how everything connects. I’m aware of things stretching and twisting as I move. And all this knowledge is just there, like how I know whether I’m hot or cold.

It’s my sense of form coming in. It’s like proprioception – how you know where your limbs are, how you can touch your nose with your eyes shut – combined with whatever it is I tweak when I want to feel phantom arms or wings, but turned way, way up. I can’t change anything – at the moment it’s read-only – but I have a feeling this is going to be a big part of how shapeshifting works. It doesn’t feel detailed enough, yet, for what I’ll be able to do – I think it’s going to get a lot stronger – but even this would already overwhelm a human. If anyone needs proof that I’m not human anymore, here it is.

I know the shape of things, but not necessarily what they do. So, uh, I’ve become just a bit obsessed with anatomy in the last few weeks… OK, so I’ve been reading about it in every spare moment. It’s kind of a big deal, suddenly being aware of all this stuff inside you and not knowing what most of it does! And, who’da thought, we know quite a bit about how humans work.

Though it’s funny I only take an interest in this when I’m well on the way to becoming something else.

I’ve counted all my bones, and learned the names for them. I’ve found organs I never knew existed (thymus? mesentery?). And I’ve come across the weirdest names for things. In your ears there’s a goat and an anti-goat (or the words for those in Ancient Greek), and in your eyes are the zonules of Zinn – and those sound so much like aliens in some low-budget sci-fi film that I couldn’t stop laughing. We are the Zonules of Zinn, take us to your leaders—

But – I should stop. You’re not here for a three-hour lecture on anatomy. Especially when all of that is going away! Being made of homogenous goo seems way more sensible than all that muddle.

So: goo.

Tiny filaments of fluid are growing all through my body like a second nervous system. Unlike my gooey blood, I’m pretty sure this is the real thing – the stuff I’ll eventually be made of. I also think this is what’s giving me my sense of form. It’s what’s letting me watch the changes from the inside. More of the flexible patches of skin are appearing, and they line up with where the filaments are densest. They’re really starting to ache now, but still don’t do much yet – though my sense of touch is sharpest there.

The goo is also filling all the spaces in my brain and spinal column. I’d bet that’s happening right down to the cellular level – though I can’t feel that much detail. My old cerebrospinal fluid is completely gone. And, yes, it’s weird being able to feel my brain, knowing that this thing is somehow where all my thinking happens. Except now it’s not the only part doing that. Shifters don’t have brains – or even cores, like some kinds of slimes do. Our minds are spread out through the whole of our bodies. We’re thinking with goo, not meat. But right now, I’ve got both, and that’s got to be why the fluid is so tightly packed around my brain – so the two of them can talk to each other. Somehow, this process has to change the way my mind works right down to the atomic level, while still keeping me as one coherent person the whole time. Hearing what some of the people on slime HRT are going through as their brains dissolve, I can only hope the shifter version isn’t going to be like that.

My eye for detail is stronger and more consistent now. Sometimes I realise I’ve been staring at things for hours, taking in everything. And it’s not just sight. I want to touch things, feel all the textures, turn them every way, trace everything with my fingers. Sometimes I want to taste things too, though I’ve been resisting that one – my body is still human enough that I don’t think that would be a good idea. Germs, and all that. Is this how babies feel, exploring with all their new senses? I’ve got to wonder. It’s like my mind wants to relearn everything, now that so much extra detail is available.

I’ve found I really like meshes and grids, and things with lots of little holes in them, especially if they have multiple layers, and even better if they’re irregular. They’re fascinating. I want to stick my hands in there and be whatever weird irregular shape would fill all the spaces – though of course I can’t, because my body is still solid.

And sometimes I want to absorb things, too. That’s the only way I can explain what I’m feeling – wanting to take things apart layer by layer and… know them completely? Not with my hands or teeth, but with something I don’t even have yet. Absorption isn’t just a way to eat, but a way to learn forms more accurately than through observation.

But I can’t do it yet, so when the feeling comes on, dysphoria gets bad. Having new instincts that I can’t act on is horrible. My mind wants it, and my body just can’t. Imagine being hungry and having no mouth. Now it really feels like being stuck. When it happens, I curl up, hold things tightly, and press them against the changed parts of my skin, hard as I can. That helps a little bit. But until my body catches up with my mind, I’m just going to have to put up with it.

These senses are still intermittent, though now they’re there more often than not – and I’ve got a theory why. My fluid and brain are constantly changing and learning to communicate, so it’s no surprise if the signals don’t all match up sometimes. And when they’re fuzzy or missing, I miss them. I feel like I’m walking around blindfold. The old human default is starting to feel like nothing more than a bad dream, one I’ll be glad to forget.

Still, I don’t know how permanent any of this is, not yet. If I lost access to my medication, would anything stay? Would it all go back to the way it was before? Would this be the dream, that I’d never recapture?

My actual dreams are changing, too. I’ve been a shifter in dreams for years – or at least the approximate version my human brain could handle. That’s changing. Now if I decide to have wings or extra arms, they don’t just appear, like before – now, they grow, and my sense of form grows with them. There’s no internal detail, but I know exactly what shape they are, without having to touch them with my hands or look. And they’re much more stable – they don’t disappear halfway through the dream if I get distracted. I don’t know how realistic any of this is, but it’s the most I’ve ever been able to do. Imaginary shifter becomes shifter-in-training! And soon – soon! – I’ll be able to do this for real.

And one last thing: I made a few comments online, on posts by people like me. Anonymously, of course – hiding is a hard habit to break, and it took a long time to work up the courage even for that. It’s one thing going through all this in private – it’s quite another telling someone else. But I’m glad I did. Just those one or two replies saying I’m valid mean so much. There are other people who get it. Maybe over the next few months I’ll be able to do more. Maybe I’ll make some new friends. Maybe it’s time to tell my existing friends, and my family. I’ll think about it.

Like I said at the start, I’m hoping the physical changes are going to really take off soon. Which means – the goo'd times are coming! And I’ll see you there!

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Tag list (tell me if you want to be added):

@avery-victoria-winterlight @aiden-nevada @dierotenixe @leahnardo-da-veggie @mint-and-authoress

@noizepushr @sandyca5tle @scrubbinn @therian-lesbian @the-gender-fae

@wuwojiti

[frostbitemutt]

some Jack marston hcs? Low honor more specifically 👀

Oh dear. But, Yes. Yes I will. This is low honor. Don't expect anything less than awful 💀.

Yandere! Low honor! Jack Marston hcs

Warnings: gender neutral darling, yandere trope, forced "relationship", obsession, stalking, harassment, unwanted crude flirting, perverted comments, non-consensual kissing and touching mentioned (nothing explicit), breaking and entering, kidnapping, violence, murder, sadism

Main traits:

|perverted/possessive/violent/sadistic|

✘ John Jack Marston Jr. Better to just call him Jack. A raunchy 19 year old trying to imitate his less than a saint father. On track to being an outlaw... yeah.. you're pretty fucked. He's an absolute little shithead.

✘ I'm going to assume you're a local townsfolk, maybe a store clerk, farmer, or maybe you're just his neighbor. You'll know when you've caught his eye. He makes it more than clear. Hounding you around town. Cat-calling you.

✘ His comments are perverted "They tell me I'm at my sexual peak sweetheart..", "Come on, just one kiss.", "are you are aroused as I am?".. and other comments. Very much to your dismay. Dosen't matter your gender. The perversion dosen't stop at words. If you don't have your curtains shut.. you may have to deal with a peeping Tom. His hands wander where they shouldn't, attempting to grab at you, pull you in close enough for him to kiss.

✘ He's possessive of you. You're not in a relationship. Hell you're not even friendly with him. You're definitely less than that. He still feels you're his regardless of the fact you hate his ass. No other man or woman needs to be looking or touching up on you. That's his job. Not theirs. He won't stand by and let someone else harrass you either. To him it's only okay when he does it. Hypocrite. Threatening, dueling, and shooting people left and right.

✘ Just like his daddy, he's violent. Wouldn't John be proud? Probably not. I already mentioned him shooting randos down. Your friends? They're found with a ludicrous amount of bullet holes. Lover? Yeah their head got blow clean off with a shotgun, sorry. You ain't off the hook either. He'll tackle you to the ground and manhandle you in a fit of anger. He'll shout real loud too. Sudden and explosive is how his temper runs.

✘ Sadism is something that shines through a bit in Jack. Now he's not going out of his way to harm or hit you most of the time, unless he's feeling petty. Maybe he'll give you a mildly harsh kick to your side. However that dosent mean he isn't at all. Your tears, your screams, your sobs, and your insults...make him feel all funny inside as he'd put it. Yuck. He'll laugh and snort at you most of the time. Mocking you and your fear. Maybe even make some pig noises at you to add some salt to the wound. Calling out "Sooie!".

✘ You swear, you wake up at least once a week to a weird noise in your home. Window or door suddenly cracked open, not even cracked, more like wide open. Yet you can't find no one. Oh, yeah, mutiple items go missing too. Lots of clothes. Toothbrush. Notebooks if you got any. Were there always boot prints in your carpet? Your bed feel oddly warm? Nope. It was Jack. Who else.

✘ Escape is certainly.. difficult when he goes to kidnap you. He abuses the fuck out of his lasso. Running away on foot? Lasso. On horse? Get the fuck over here. Lasso. Move more than 30 feet from him? Lasso. That point he's doing it cause he thinks it's funny. Unfortunate for you. Not to downplay the fear that comes with it. Thinking you're free, only to be yanked off your horse and hogtied to the back of his.

✘ It's all much worse when he has you isolated, in his home. No police you can snitch to, bystanders to chase him off, or neighbors of yours to questioning him snooping about. He's dosen't bother restraining himself, he was barely before. Sloppily kissing you, hands grasping wherever he can, shoving you against the nearest solid surface. It's vile.

✘ You'll have to endure more of his tantrums than ever. Grumbling when you refuse to talk to him, because why would you want to? Pouting and stomping his foot when you push him away from you. Going on rants when you won't stop crying. His mood changes day from day. Luckily after a bit you might be able to read his face and tell when he's about to to blow a fuse. You can brace yourself for his delusional complaining.

✘ Don't loose all hope. Escape is possible. Now I'm not going to say Jack's stupid, he isn't. However we're still talking about a 19 year old. (I'm almost 19 I can throw shade). He doesn't have a plethora experience like his dad or an older outlaw. He's a new adult on a violent power trip. If he leaves the house, check the locks, he might have forgotten one. Try to knock him unconscious in his sleep or.. more permanent if you're absolutely certain you can. That's the more risky option. If you can act well enough, you can possibly convince him to let you outside with him. If he does? Book it.

[sexy-opium-ravioli]

Photo Booth

Universe: Resident Evil

wc: 1,791

Pairing: Stepbro!Leon S. Kennedy x Reader

Warnings: Not many, just the fact that Leon is your stepbrother and he is .5 of a little shit. Otherwise, this is a good, old fashioned fluff piece.

a/n: Hihi hello hello :) I've been trying to claw my way out of depression for a while, but here's some cute Leon content in the meantime!

@lipglossanon !! thank you for being such a wonderful writer, honestly reading you has been really inspiring as of late! and your characterization of the Leons you have are among my very favorite.

It not my best work by any means, but I hope anyone reading this enjoys <3

--

The liminal space of a mall was the place where you could see through a person, like light through glass. You'd get to see what stores they prefer to go to, what mall food they like to eat (or if they can't), what they buy vs what they don't. 

Or sometimes, as is the case with you and your weird, pseudo-freudian stepbrother-boyfriend Leon, you just get boba and mess around. 

There were other things you'd like to do with him, sure. Sometimes you two would catch a movie- or fuck each other until you're both sensitive and whimpering (as young lovers often do). Really depended on the day. 

But it was earlier in the morning and it was a free, clear Saturday, in the haze of a temperate spring. And, the last couple of days were kind of stressful. Keeping up separate social lives, exams, dealing with your shared parents- sometimes just being apart from each other was okay.

You were starting to suspect something in Leon. You didn't know what it was, really. Everything was in a haze with him- truer emotions he always hid behind something snarky and barbed. And since you could never really get an accurate read on him, you could only try to squint in the dark and decipher the signs in front of you. 

Still, something foundational was shifting. And there was a strange feeling in your stomach that had been there all morning, and it wasn't bad, per se; but it was constant and unusual. You sipped on your boba and started chewing. 

You and Leon were both sitting on public benches. The time was before most of the retail shops started setting up, only the food court was open. You laid your head on Leon's shoulder and closed your eyes while you both soaked in the sun's warmth. 

The mall was bright and quiet, not many were there yet. You still felt a bit sleepy, but it didn't seem like Leon minded resting either. There was a difference in the emotions you feel someone going through when you rest your head on their shoulder- and the way Leon's was giving into the weight of your head spelled relaxation. The both of you spent a bit of your morning like this. You lifted your head and glanced at how the sunlight reflected off of Leon's golden hair. How it also cut a shadow at the curve of his jaw. 

"You wanna walk around?" You asked with your voice low, not wanting to disrupt the quiet, alive whirring of the building. Leon looked at you, smiled a bit and nodded his head before getting up. 

When you caught up to pace with him, you decided to annoy him and cross pinkies. He retaliated by taking hold of your entire hand, and you tried not to make a big deal about it. Your heart was starting to beat really fast, though. 

You thought he would let go after a couple of seconds. He didn't. 

Exiting the first floor common area to the escalators surrounding it, you both enjoyed the warmth of a second floor perch. Leon hasn't let go of your hand yet, but you were joking around about other people you were seeing at the mall, or the vaguely strange sale ads you'd see posted on windows. 

It was light, conversation felt easy for once.

And then Leon saw something, and you watched the way his eyes captured a glint of absolute mischief. 

Your eyes followed the laser point focus of his- and oh. 

Oh. 

A photo booth. 

And before you knew it, the distance between you and the box was already halved from Leon practically yanking your arm off. It didn't hurt, so all you could do was laugh. 

Walking up to it, Leon already got his wallet out and was feeding the machine bills. You decided to slip in and look around inside. All photo booths look different- this one was pretty new and sparkly. 

Not long after, Leon swept the curtains and stepped in with a mean smirk. You got yourself ready, trying to make yourself look alright while Leon selected to start through the menu. 

You always felt a weird sort of anxiety in photo booths. They never gave anybody enough time to actually prepare for a photo, but Leon was already doing someth- "Hey-!"

He quickly stepped behind you, caged you in his arms, gave two hand horns, and made such a twisted face he actually did kind of resemble the devil, because in his heart of hearts, Leon S. Kennedy was a dork. 

You decided that if he was going to suffocate you with all the muscle he was trying to show off, you were going to get a picture of biting it. 

The bite wasn't too hard, but the quick noise that Leon gave was mostly out of being startled anyways. He quickly retaliated by flicking your arm before posing for the next- 

"Let's do a nicer one," you interject, quietly and quickly. You both prepare and in time, you're smiling together while Leon has his arm draped over your shoulders. It all happened so quickly and concisely that the warm feeling you got in your stomach from all the affectionate, silly, friendly contact was delayed. 

The countdown started again. Leon almost shoved you in front of him, but instead of putting his arms over your chest and neck and face, (being annoying about it), he placed them gently over your waist. And then when the camera flashed, he was kissing your cheek. 

You turned around in his arms, not really caring about the photos anymore. But he was the one that leaned down and kissed you gingerly, and with meaning. His lips were always so soft and smooth against yours-

The camera flashed. You two were together a little longer, and then you both separated. It was a few long seconds where time just stopped, and you could swear that if you opened the curtain and tried to find one of the rare morning pedestrians of the mall, they would be left unmoving. 

But all you could do was look at Leon. It didn't help that he was so pretty. But there was this weird flash of emotion in his eyes, that same one you couldn't read and he wasn't looking away-

The camera flash made you both jump a little, and then Leon gave a quiet, nervous laugh to himself that sparked yours. He looked at you again, an upward pull of his lips that didn't seem too mean anymore. "Better get those photos," 

"Yeah," you offer back, already leaving the booth. He followed you, and not long after, the booth started to give out a noise before producing two copies of the same strip. Leon quickly snatched them before you could even hope to grab them, and he held them out of your view after that. 

"Leon," He was snickering. That pretty smile he hasn't dropped for 5 minutes now has had its teasing quality reapplied. Irritation quickly bubbles back up in your throat. 

"Ugh, Leon, you-" He does that little shit older brother thing where he lets the strip creep just into your reach before yanking it away a couple of times, but he doesn't do it too much. He gives you one of the copies after starting to giggle at you. 

You shake your head, ready to be embarrassed at your own face or maybe even his, and- well, the first photo has you laughing. Your head is tilted backward and your eyes are closed, and the laughs pour out of your throat like smooth wine. 

"Leon you're such a dork,-"

"Oh ok! And we're not gonna talk about the absolutely feral thing latching itself to my arm-," 

"Noo~, we're not," You interrupt teasingly, and you take a look back at the pictures. The air swiftly changes from playful, easy and teasing to meaningful, endearing- kind of tense in a way. Leon looked beautiful, and you looked nice too, and now you just noticed that Leon is right behind you actively gauging your reaction. 

The third photo was almost too sweet and intimate to look at publicly, and you could feel the tips of your ears start to heat up. Leon's face is mostly obscured, sure, but the way you react to why it's obscured is so sweet and genuine it kind of embarrasses you. Your lips try to hide a smile and your eyes are cast downward and away from Leon- low, but not closed. One of your arms rests on the lean coils of muscle wrapped around your center, while the other reaches up for your hand to rest on his head. 

The fourth makes you inhale a little sharper, and you can now feel the high part of your cheekbones heat with your ears. Leon's chin is resting on your shoulder now, and you can't even imagine the shit-eating grin he must be wearing on his face. Well, both of your faces can't be seen by the camera, if that's any consolation to your poor, heated skin- you might melt ice at this point. 

You don't know why it has you so weirdly dizzy, but maybe it's the way Leon looks so boyish, almost soft kissing you. His head is so slightly tilted, and the way his body curls around yours is just so engaged-

The fifth one is sweet in a different way. It makes your heart instantly crackle and spark for hope, which any sort of tired rationality your dopamine abused brain has left is probably screaming at. 

There's that fear in your chest, but there's no denying the fact that there's a light glimmering in Leon's sea glass eyes that you haven't seen from him too many times. 

It's a look that makes your entire body feel warm, like your skin is being pricked by needles. At this point, you've stopped looking at the photos altogether and buried your face in your hands. It makes Leon's chin lift off your shoulder, and you hear a chuckle come from him, but nothing sarcastic. 

"C'mon, stores are opening soon, weirdo," And when he says that you realize that there's warmth behind his words. You lift your head and look at him, and he's scratching his nose but- is he blushing too? Oh. 

Oh. 

He is. 

Probably not as scorching hot as you, but still. He starts walking, you start walking with him. And then, he takes your hand like that entire thing just didn't happen, and you find that you can't really stop smiling. Even if you reduce it to the smallest pull of your lips, it's still on your face for a while longer. 

--

[razorblade180]

“Courting”

Charlotte:Miss Furina!!! I have a very important question to ask, off the record of course.

Furina:A question? I don’t see why not.

Charlotte:Are you being courted by world renowned traveler, Aether!?

Furina:*red* C-Courted!? I wouldn’t exactly say-

The journalist whips out a polaroid photo of Furina with a warm smile on her face as she sits across from Aether during a late candle lit dinner.

Furina:Oh my god this came out so well. You can even see the- how did you have this!? Where were you!?

Charlotte:I was posed as a waitress!

Furina:….

Charlotte:…For a job! Not for you. Heavens no. By the way, I wouldn’t eat there again. Back to the topic at hand, good for you.! It’s a cute look. Your smile is brighter.

Furina:You just have good lighting.

Charlotte:Ha! Oh Furina…candle light is agonizing for photography.

Furina:Sounds like a hit a sore spot. Anyways, if you’re asking I assume you’re more or less aware of everything I am when it comes to Aether and romance.

Charlotte:Of course! I actually brought it up to him around our first time meeting. Had proof and everything so I can ask him “why an open relationship”

Furina:…You’re kinda scary at times.

Charlotte:If you’re not intense in my field then people try to circle around the truth. Like you were about to do until I showed the photo. You can keep that by the way. *fiddles with camera*

Furina:If you don’t mind, I’d like to ask you a question as well.

Charlotte:Ooo okay! I’m all ears!

Furina:You’ve known him longer, engaged with him more often, and seem interested from where I stand; yet I’m the one dat- is involved with him.

Charlotte:Do you have commitment issues?

Furina:Let me finish! What I’m getting at is why aren’t you two item. I’ve the comedically sized document about the dynamic. As it stands now…if I was close minded or acted selfishly…

Charlotte:Ah, I see. It’s interesting to see your mind at work, but unfortunately you’re overthinking things waaaay too much. This isn’t chess game or battle of wits. It would pretty low to treat others feelings like that without thought. Neither him or I would be able to stand ourselves to put a person filled with in a position where they either find new love or be forced to deal with the fact there’s someone else. Kinda defeats the point of an open relationship.

Furina:That’s…I see your point.

Charlotte:If you want Aether romantically all to yourself when it comes to Fontainian’s then by all means exercise that right. He’s still going to be one of my closest friends and partner in journalism! Though to be clear, this isn’t me conceding in any way. I do hope you enjoy my company as much as I love yours! Also… *pulls out photo*

It’s nothing particularly special. Just a really good picture of Aether in the middle of fishing without a care in the world.

Charlotte: Let’s be honest, he has a very nice face. Just ask Lyney! He thinks so too.

Furina:*red* I mean I guess it has its appeal.

Charlotte:You can keep that one too. Anyways, I gotta go before no more Aquabuses run. My latest story has gotten popular so you know…I’ll be back in the city in like three weeks? Hopefully? Eh, we’ll see.

Furina:What did you expose!?

Charlotte:It’ll be front page tomorrow! Read all about it! Bye! *runs off*

Furina thought she was pretty good at reading people, especially her audience. Right now she had no clue if the conversation just now was casual chatter, a weird bargain, or even pleasant congratulations with a side of flirting? She only knew what she’s known from the beginning. Charlotte is a really interesting, kind person who takes phenomenal photos.

Furina:…(I wonder if he knows that this photo was taken?)

xxxxx

Aether:I was fishing alone.

Furina:For the love of- how strong is that lens!? By the way…would you consider us…courting or something? *red*

Aether:

Aether: You literally made out with me a few days ago. Grabbed my scarf, and smooched my face. We spend time together consistently.

Furina:*nods slowly* You bring up a valid point.

Aether:A valid point!? *shows hickey*

Furina:Okay, several points! Wrap your scarf back up before someone sees!

Aether:Breaking news, crystal pure celebrity actually filters her murky mind.

Furina:I want my kisses back!

[neonthewrite]

Shoot the Breeze

I have another GT July Prompt ready! The next up was "Secret" and I'm not sure why, but I really wanted to return to our little buddy borrower Chase. Takes place directly after Lies Under Duress. Can he actually keep a secret? Let's find out ...

Forbidden Fruit Snacks | Fried Potatoes | Minnie’s Supply Run | Nailed It | Orange You Glad | Almost a Thief | Lies Under Duress

~~~

Chase put a hand over his chest, outwardly mimicking a look of offense. Inwardly, he felt like the motion was necessary to keep his heart from fluttering right out of his ribcage. Even up on the table, even with the human sitting down, he felt so small. He’d been small for so long, but it didn’t hit him quite as hard as when he was forced to compare himself to a human. He hardly believed, in moments like this, that he used to be on the same scale. The disparity had long ago prompted him and Minnie to stop calling themselves human.

They were a world apart now. The living wall before him was proof enough of that.

Against such a foe, Chase’s only weapon was talk. “Sneaking around? You make it sound so, I dunno, nefarious or something. I just wanted an orange, man. You saw how big they are to me, you saying you wouldn’t go for a, a giant orange if you had a shot at one?”

At least the guy was easy to read. His brows knitted in clear bemusement and he even had to fight a smile that tried to come over his face. That meant he wasn’t mad, at least. “Dude, you … you keep avoiding my questions. Why?”

“Well, I don’t wanna answer ‘em,” Chase shot back, for his part letting a grin settle on his face. “If I really wanted to answer a bunch of ‘Oh my god what are you’ and ‘Why do you have my stuff’ questions I’d have let some giant someone catch me sooner.”

He saw on the human’s face that he had given something away. An instant later, the man leaned forward slightly, looking closer at him, appraising something. “So you’ve been doing this a while? Stealing stuff and hiding out right in my apartment?”

Chase shrank back a bit, shoulders inching up to his ears and stomach quivering. “Wh-who said that?” he countered, quieter but trying to keep up his relaxed tone. “You’re making the assumptions anyone would make, that’s all. Not my fault people are predictable. So I tend to avoid … everyone.”

The human’s mouth twisted into a thoughtful frown. Then he leaned back in his chair again. One hand absently drummed at the edge of the table‒Chase felt every tap where he sat‒and the other dragged through his wavy brown hair. “Okay. Okay. We’re off to a weird start, little dude. We can at least agree on that, right?”

Chase’s eyebrows shot up. Did he actually convince the guy of something? “Sure, sure, I mean it’s understandable, right? But I can get out of your way shortly‒”

“Hang on,” the human interrupted, that amusement returning. “You’re not off the hook yet. But I’ll take a step back here. I’m Jacob. Nice to meet you, maybe, if you’ll tell me why you’re sneaking around in my apartment, mister …?”

Chase pursed his lips and didn’t take the bait. “So what’s your secret, Jacob? One of your parents a, what’s it called, a bulldozer? A mountain, maybe?”

Jacob sighed. He was disappointed, but not quite angry, based on the smile that still twitched at the corner of his mouth. Chase was entertaining him, which was probably a good sign. An angry human would be too much to deal with, no matter what few advantages he and Minnie had discovered since shrinking down. Keeping the guy laughing kept Chase out of worse trouble.

The human leaned his chin on his elbow, a casual stance that loomed overhead all the same. “Something like that,” he answered. Chase hadn’t expected him to roll so well with his banter, but it made him like the guy a tiny bit more, despite everything. “Got a long, storied tradition of being mountains in the family. Are you part mouse?”

Chase winced. It was a fair turn. But having his own size pointed out always came with that old sting. “Oh he’s got jokes! Low hanging fruit, dude.”

Jacob shrugged. “You can’t reach anything higher, short stuff, might as well keep things fair, right?”

Chase’s jaw dropped in a stunned grin. “Ha! Okay! You are‒you’re funny, Jacob.” Chase was surprised to find himself really meaning it. In another life, he probably would have been friends with this guy.

“Thanks. I try. But I’m still wondering what you are, little dude. And why you’re really here.”

“Why are any of us here,” Chase shot back, though his following chuckle was a bit more nervous than he wanted. Jacob, still amused, wasn’t budging. He remained looming overhead, calm as could be but putting pressure into the air all the same, and Chase still had no ideas on how to help himself. “I mean. You said it yourself. I’m just. Just a little dude. And I said it myself. I was trying to take an orange. No big secrets there.”

Jacob pondered it, and Chase watched for signs of frustration, or maybe of further amusement on that giant face. The guy had never seemed like the angry type, from what observations Chase had made of him in the past. He might be a reasonable person in most respects. Finding some miniature thief in his home could well test those limits.

“Will you at least tell me a name? I don’t want to just keep calling you ‘little guy’ or whatever else. It’s a little weird.”

“That … is a reasonable ask,” Chase admitted. He also wasn’t sure how long he could stand the nicknames, and Jacob wasn’t demanding anything. What could he possibly glean with just a name? “I’m Chase. And it’s not because I like having things coming after me. So no cat and mouse, Jake.”

That earned a bemused frown, Jacob’s brow knitting and his mouth twisting. “Noted. Don’t think that’d be necessary, seeing as I already caught ya.” He glanced away for a moment, straightening where he sat. “Listen, Chase, I don’t think this talk is over, but I didn’t expect getting a single straight answer would take that much time, and I have some other stuff I need to do today.” His focus returned to Chase and felt like a physical weight. “What are the chances you’ll still be here when I get back?”

“What? If you just leave? Zero, buddy. Are you kidding? Soon as you’re out of sight I’m gonna bounce.” Chase’s heart fluttered again, and he scolded himself inwardly. Would Jacob have believed him if he said he’d wait? Then he could just leave anyway.

“That’s what I thought,” Jacob said, that faint smile returning. His hand approached, prompting Chase to all but leap to his feet again. “C’mere.”

Chase stumbled backwards and came up with a hundred stupid lies, all running rapid fire through his head but none of them sounding like they’d even make Jacob pause and think. He was usually so good at coming up with plans, at getting by just in time.

He was all out of close calls. Jacob’s enormous hand was upon him seconds later, fingers longer than Chase was tall curling behind him, gathering him up in a grip he wouldn’t be able to see out of if Jacob closed his fist entirely. As it was, Chase had a view of the ceiling as he was hoisted all too easily off the table, like he weighed nothing. His few ounces probably didn’t feel like much at all, really. He left the table behind, and the world lurched as Jacob stepped around the furniture towards whatever goal he’d decided on.

“Waitasecond, Jacob,” Chase said, pushing against the palm he was pinned to. “I’m totally ready to talk more. Let’s chat now, about whatever you want. Let’s, what do they say, let’s ‘shoot the breeze’ or whatever.”

Jacob chuckled and it shook his hand with the noise, enough that Chase felt every bit of it. “We’ll shoot the breeze all you want, later. I gotta make an appointment. Won’t be long. You’ll be fine chilling here ‘til I get back.”

Chase, surprisingly, didn’t doubt it. He’d be unharmed, and so far Jacob held him carefully, if securely and almost entirely obscured in a hand. But he’d be trapped. He heard a cabinet open, then close. Then another. Jacob must be looking for something to trap him with.

That sting was back, with the reminder that a simple kitchen tool would be enough to trap him.

His stomach lurched as Jacob turned, maybe towards the kitchen counters. He’d found something. Chase suddenly squirmed, tried to do something to change what was about to happen. He’d been out of his depth since the human came back and found him on the counter. All because he’d wanted to one-up his sister in a made up game that didn’t matter at all now.

He opened his mouth to spout off another protest, some more fast talk to get Jacob to hesitate, keep the human distracted. As he did, the hand lowered again, far too fast and sudden, and the only sound Chase managed was a strangled yelp while his whole body flinched from the falling sensation.

He was set down quickly on the counter top, and there was a shadow looming over him. He threw his hands over his head on instinct. It meant he missed whatever it was settling down on the counter over him, though he felt it hit the surface under his kneeling posture. When he looked up, a metal dome sat over him, pocked with holes in an even pattern all around and letting in dappled light.

 A strainer. It left him in a space the size of a decently sized room. He could even stand up if he wanted and probably not reach the top of the dome if he stretched his arms.

The light changed on one side as Jacob leaned in to peer through the holes. Small, disjointed glimpses of his face loomed just outside of Chase’s prison. “Just … wait in there for a while, okay? I won’t be gone that long.”

Chase huffed and slumped in an obvious pout. “Sure, man, I’ll just. I’ll just make myself comfortable. What the god damn hell, it’s almost cozy.”

Jacob retreated again. When he answered, that smile still colored his voice. “You’ll be okay, Chase. It’s only for a little bit.”

Chase had lost his desire to argue. He was barely sure he’d actually had a whole conversation with a human over at the table, without feeling all that much danger. He certainly felt the danger now, trapped under a strainer until whenever Jacob decided to come home. Chase had felt like he might control the conversation if only he said the right words, but it hadn’t worked. He knelt in the dim lighting and listened as Jacob left the room, and eventually, the apartment itself.

“Damn. That really could have gone better.”

[alevolpe]

I'm really curious about the second arc based off your hcs!

EXTREMELY LONG ASK! I’ll put a super quick TLDRL at the end, but this is my longest ask by FAR.

I’m really not a fan of time travel in sailor moon, so season 2 is very different in my hc.

I still rlly like Ail and An, so I think I’d keep them for the first section of season 2, but introduce them as regular students that attend the same school as Usagi and Ami in season 1.

I thought even having An as Usagi’s classmate and having a Rei like bantery relationship. Show them being kinda weird and a bit more comic-y side characters during the season, but never have them fight or meet the senshi directly. They attack with more subtlety to avoid inciting suspicion and honestly, just have them act like they are trying to live a regular life, which they are, but they have to feed on energy to survive (no tree needed).

The Ail and Ann section would be more low key, let’s try to get our shit together and recover front he trauma we just witnessed at the end of the first season type deal (they didn’t die), but layer a level of quiet but ever rising uneasiness. Something is changing, the girls are changing.

Venus contact with Minako is getting stronger and stronger. Ami’s black hair (i hc her having jet black with a blue shine hair as a civilian, which turns blue post transformation) is starting to grow blue roots. Mako is getting ever so slightly taller and muscular. Rei’s visions get way more frequent and her powers are starting to bleed to her human form. Usagi’s is starting to behave a bit off, few strands of white hair start to poke out among her blonde hair.

They eventually square off with Ail and An, who found out their secret identities. Due to an accident, the building they are in collapses splitting the girls and Ail and An in odd groups. All the girls, but Usagi ready to kill the threat and An battling internally as well, not really wanting to fight, but at the same time being unwilling to believe Usagi would be a Sailor Senshi.

For Ail and An backstory. They were forced to evacuate their planet as kids cause Galaxia attacked their protector (who is also a senshi, but they don’t know that yet) and devastated their planet. This caused an immense resentment toward the sailor senshi kind by both Ail and An, but Ail being the older more mature of the two, just wants to let peace and to live a peaceful low key life on Earth. An doesn’t believe that could happen, because these other senshi will come after them again and kill them, cause that’s what senshis do.

They eventually resolve their conflicts and Ail and Ann get to live on Earth among them (with some restrictions on what type of energy they get to consume, limited human energy, just don’t attack people in general terms lol).

Skipping to the second section of season 2, this is where the bigger more dramatic stakes come in. As I stated in a previous ask, both Serenity and Venus used Venus’ sword to make their souls persist through their reincarnations and they are staring to resurface from within Usagi’s and Mina’s bodies.

Luna is very perplexed by all the changes going on among the girls, at this point knowing the whole deal with the Moon Kingdom, the now gone ‘Dark Kingdom’ and Artemis, but still not having any memories of it. One particular night, she takes a walk to reflect, trying to focus and remember, and that’s where, while crossing at a green light, among the public she spots a Sailor Pluto towering unmoving among the walking crowds. Just staring her down with a blank expression on her face. This causes her to stop everything and just stare, pieces of her memory slowing unblurring, one by one, Venus, Jupiter, Mercury, Mars.. Serenity.. Serenity! Just like that she misses the lights turning red, a truck barreling toward her at full speed.

The girls all meet having looked for Luna everywhere. Makoto joins them a few moments later with a small plastic bag in her hands, having seen a couple of trash collectors in her neighborhood getting ready to load a fresh roadkill into their trucks, Artemis being with her commands her to stop them, having smelled Luna’s scent.

The girls all have different reactions to this. Ami immediately going and taking the bag, in complete denial and desperation she just cries holding Luna. Rei is just left absolutely stunned and in disbelief. None of her other premonitions ever came true.

Rei is constantly plagued by visions, most of these visions are futures that will never happen. She’s seen all her loved one die in all of different ways, events out of apocalyptic scenarios, all of which never happened, so she just stayed silent about them. Choosing to not cause unnecessary stress for what it’s basically a fortune cookie prediction. But this one was the one, the one to actually come true, seeing Luna on a snowy night getting hit by a truck while crossing a sidewalk.

Rei and Luna’s relationship was a bit strained. Rei always turning her nose up at Luna’s attempts to be a force of authority to Rei (never goes well). Though throughout season 1 Rei learns to ‘tolerate’ her after a talk they had, Luna stating that she was never trying to replace Rei’s mother and that she truly wants to be there for them, but that Rei is free to not accept her that way and keep healthy boundaries between them.

This next section is an excerpt from an outline I have saved of the scene following Luna’s death. (Warning I suck at writing so go easy on me. This isn’t meant to be read as a story, but just a dialogue outline for me to keep as a guideline)

______________________________________________________________

Rei, at the sight of Luna’s body in the bag blurts out loud that this isn’t possible and they it doesn’t make sense. None of her predictions ever came true, it doesn’t make sense, Mina coming to her side to calm her down and trying to understand what visions Rei is even referring to.

Ami overhears this while still crying, devastated.

“You saw this?” With the widest and most blank eyes Rei has ever seen on Ami.

“No, I mean yes.. but it never happens. I just see some much, all the time, with you, with Luna and I can’t-”

“Murderer”

“ …What? What did you just fucking say?”

“MURDER!!” And with that she jumps at Rei, blinded by rage, genuinely ready to start a beat down. And Rei doing the same, being also blinded by rage and betrayal of Ami accusing her she would ever withhold such information on purpose. Fortunately Mako and Mina intervene, Mako keeping Ami at bay while Mina severely struggles with Rei.

Ami keeps throwing accusations and insults toward Rei, knowing very well of Rei’s poor treatment of Luna, but being unaware of the small bridge of agreement they came to just among themselves a bit prior. Though she’s just genuinely blinded by grief and rage, she would’ve never accused Rei of such things with a clear mind. Luna was the closest, among all the others to Ami, being the first to be awakened by her (I have a different join order for the senshi, I have a diagram for it right HERE! But it’s basically Luna awakens Ami, Rei and Usagi, in that order, while Artemis awakens Mina and Mako). Their bond has genuinely become one of a mother-daughter relationship, so losing Luna hit Ami the absolute hardest.

Mako has to knock Ami unconscious to help Mina with Rei and Rei, obviously threatened by Mako, plus he’s herself off of Mina. While Mina instructs Mako to just let her be and that she just wants everyone to calm tf down.

Rei still in utter shock and denial looks toward Usagi “WOULD YOU FUCKING SAY SOMETHING?!”.

Usagi was just holding still silent this whole time, eyes widened in shock, but.. not balling. Small tears at the edge of her eyes are all she’s given. She’s just shocked and speechless, but not the Usagi way. She seems empty..

Mako puts Ami to sleep in Rei’s bed and gives Mina instructions to go home and that they can deal with everything in the morning. She’ll stay with the others at the temple to keep the from going crazy once during the nigh. Very reluctantly Mina accepts and leaves with Artemis, leaving Rei, Ami, Usagi and Mako at the temple for the night.

The next morning Mina and Artemis make their way to the temple. The anticipation of the girls at each other’s throats eating at them.

Mina opens the door and finds something that just leaves her absolutely speechless.

All the girls are sitting at the low table eating breakfast, chatting like absolutely NOTHING happened the night prior. Usagi super cheerful from eating Mako’s delightful cooking, Rei sipping tea quietly and Ami reading one of Rei’s books while enjoying her breakfast.

Mina has no words and obviously asks Mako what happened. Mako with a very friendly and peaceful expression just says that everything was resolved. Mina attempts to prod the others for clarifications too, but with no different results. “We talked it out” “YOU’RE NOT MAD ANYMORE?!?” “No” “why are you being so weird Mina” “yeah Mina, we’re a team! Come on! We can’t let stuff like that divide us!”

Something’s not right. It can’t be. And fortunately, by an absolute miracle for Mina she takes a peek at Artemis and the same exact expression of ‘something’s is not right here’ is plastered on his face too.

At this point Usagi finally refers directly to Mina very casually “have you seen the silver Crystal, I can’t find it?” (At the end of season 1 Usagi gave it to Mina to keep). Something’s absolutely not right, Mina states she hasn’t seen it lately and makes an excuse to leave, Mako raising at the same time, a way more serious expression on her face, repeating the princesses’ question. At this point both Mako and Ami looking at Mina with eye peering through her, Mina and Artemis making a mad dash for the door, running as far away from the temple as they can, Ami and Mako right on their heels.

Artemis separates from Mina, stating he knows something that could help them, but that’s he has to leave Mina to deal with the situation alone for the time being. Agreeing Sailor Venus has a chase with across the streets of Tokyo, both Mercury and Jupiter on hot pursuit, while Usagi and Rei slowly walk the same direction.

______________________________________________________________

The real enemy of season 2 is Princess Serenity, being reawakened within Usagi’s body, the trauma of losing Luna being the last straw Serenity needed to shove Usagi in the backseat. The rest of the senshi, especially Mako and Ami have also sort of reawakened, but as hollowed soldier powered by the will of the Serenity and the Crystal. Sailor Venus being immune to the “control” cause of the deal her and Serenity made in the their previous life, preserving Venus’ soul inside Minako (here, toward the end), while Sailor Mars is temporarily controlled, but not fully cause she died in season 1. This unexpected course of events braking the connection of the silver Crystal to her body and reincarnated soul. She will break out the spell and escape joining Mina to fight Serenity, Mercury and Jupiter and bring their friends back.

Tho they aren’t alone, as Artemis returns after a small absence, bringing back our favorite lesbians Sailor Neptune and Sailor Uranus, whose whereabouts and goals are unknown for the time being, but due to the dire situation they are in, questions will come later.

The season will resolve with Mina being able to permanently kill Serenity’s soul and being Usagi back (all while bettering Venus’ soul and the temptation to kill Usagi, knowing there has to be another way to stop Serenity without killing the body) shattering her sword in the process and freeing Mercury and Jupiter who have been under Serenity’s control all this time and have being fighting Uranus and Neptune.

TLDR for hc SEASON 2:

Ail and An are forced to confront the senshi after the first season of living as regular humans who secretly fed on energy. The senshi wan to kill them, as well as An, but Usagi and Ail just want peace. They resolve it and Ail and An get to continue living on Earth as normal people with some restrictions on attacking people for energy.

While all that was happening, the girls start to bleed aspects of their senshi selves into the human forms (ie Ami’s blue hair is poking out of her natural civilian black hair and so on). Luna dies in a car accident while being distracted by Pluto, the girls discover her and Ami violently accuses Rei of withholding the information of her death to her (Rei saw her dying in a vision but didn’t say anything to anybody, cause all her other visions never came true).

A violent ruffle goes down, and Mina is instructed to leave the temple to let the waters cool. She comes back the next morning to find them all eerily serene and quiet and sensing something is wrong she runs away. The rest of the senshi and Usagi, now having been taken over by Serenity. Rei manages to break free from the control and joins Mina, who has now the hold of the mysterious Uranus and Neptune and they all set out to stop Serenity.

[beebeetheclown]

REQUEST: PRAGUE KENDALL 😩😩😩🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

Hello anonnn I might have an idea of who you are haha👀 thank you for this request!

Although I feel like my Ken x reader tree is slowly losing its leaves (that probably makes no sense at all) I wrote this anyway☺️ special for you anon!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~▪️~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number One

Ken x reader - Request

wc: 1.8k

Kendall leaves you unattended at the underground club. He says he has deals to claim and that he has things to work out, it is something you are uninterested in. You didn’t come to the club to talk business and money, that isn’t your thing, it’s Kendall’s thing. You let him do all the talking and you just stood by his side or waited for him back in the penthouse. Though you aren’t too familiar with the business terms and life, you do have a smart mind, you are good at manipulating people and that is one of the reasons why Kendall admired you so quickly. You always are a part of helping him get what he wants from people most of the time.

He first met you three months ago. Crazy enough, he had met you at his ex-wife's birthday. You figured out that Kendall was only invited to the get-together mostly because his kids wanted him to be there and Rava wanted him to be there for the kids. You had met Rava through work and that’s how you got the invitation. You are exactly Kendall’s type. At the party, you were exactly what Kendall needed. It was fucked up for him to flirt with his ex-wife’s coworker and friend, and it was fucked up that you flirted with her ex-husband, but you both ended up naked in Kendall’s bed after the party had ended.

Ever since that party, you two have been together. Kendall claims that he can’t get enough of you and that he needs you both for pleasure and for your smart mind. You help Kendall get what he wants and help him win arguments and business deals because you like to see Kendall happy, but you also like to watch him get what he wants as it turns you on. When Kendall gets what he wants, his personality changes and his ego gets higher. When he gets what he wants, the two of you fuck like rabbits.

When he loses, there’s a fifty-fifty. Kendall is either really low and acts like a small child. Or he gets angry and stressed, complaining and telling you how everyone is wrong, that he’s worked so hard, and that he knows what’s right. When he gets like this, you usually let him do whatever he wants. You help him with his stress by allowing him to take it out all on you when you fuck. Of course, he’s not too rough with you as he still loves you and doesn’t want to hurt you, but sometimes when he is stressed, he can’t hold back anything.

You’ve been sitting on one of the club’s couches without Ken for about fifteen minutes when he comes back. He’s angered and you can tell, you know that whatever deal he was wanting didn’t work out. He trudges over to you and sits down next to you.

“Deals fucked. Whatever, her and her bjork type shit can fuck off. I don’t need it.” You hand him the glass that’s got a bit of alcohol left in it and he drinks it all then wipes his lips with the back of his hand, “I need coke.”

“Kendall, you said you weren’t going to get that fucked up tonight.”

“Yeah, that was before I figured out that the deal is fucked.”

“Where’s Stewy, did you talk to Stewy yet?”

“Yeah, he’s annoying me too. And fucking Roman, fuckin’ whining at me about some stupid game we played as kids. Like, why does it even fucking matter? We were kids, kids do weird shit.”

“If everyone’s just being a bitch to you, why don’t we just leave?” You put a hand on Kendall’s back. You want to leave because you don’t want him to have to deal with any more bullshit, but you also want to leave because you have been desperate for his hands to be on you ever since the car ride here.

“No, not yet, I want coke. I’ll take a line or two then I’ll take you home with me.” You know there is no backing Kendall out of getting that white powder, when Kendall is upset and he wants something, he’ll get it.

Eventually Kendall is able to find some and you watch him cut two lines before he leans down and inhales both. He leans back on the couch and lets the coke sit in his system for a minute, “Fuck yeah, that’s good.”

“Kendall-”

“Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

He takes your hand and pulls you behind him through the crowd. He is eager to get home now. As he continues to pull you out of the club, he calls Fikret to come and pick you up. Fikret is not far, you only have to wait about five minutes.

You wait outside of the tunnel where the club was and it is now dark outside. As you wait, Kendall continues to grumble about everything and you just let him talk before you soon interrupt him, “Can we please fuck when we get back?”

He stops talking, looks at you, then grins slightly, “What, is this turning you on, me getting all pissed off like this?”

“I don’t know, maybe a little.”

“Well, if it’s turning you on, can I please continue?”

“Yeah, fine, go ahead.”

He doesn’t continue though, he just asks you another question, “What about it turns you on? I don’t think I’ve ever been with someone who gets off with me being angry. I’m not judging though, I mean, it’s strange but also kind of hot.”

“I don’t know how to explain it really. What makes it hot for you?”

“I think it’s the fact that you get aroused when I’m like this. Other tell me I’m fucking stupid or something, but you like it. You let me say what I want and do what I want.”

“It’s because I know that you know what’s best in things.”

“Yeah?”

Maybe sometimes Kendall’s ideas weren’t always very smart or well thought out, but you knew that he loves it when people tell him that he’s good. He likes to be praised and knows that he is the best.

“Yes Kendall.”

“When we get back, I’m going to fuck you on the couch, right by the big fucking window so everyone of New York can see. Is that something up your alley?”

You smile, “Let them watch.”

He smiles too and that’s when Fikret drives in and stops a few feet ahead of you. “Let’s go put on a show then.” Kendall says and leads you to the car by putting a hand on your back.

During the car ride, Kendall tells Fikret to turn the bass of the music up. Kendall is now feeling good. He is ignoring everything that had just gone to shit and the coke helps him ignore it. All that interests him now is getting to be alone with you because he knows that he could have you any way he wanted. He can control you and you will let him.

When you get to the penthouse, you are both chuckling and horny for each other. He leads you over to the couch that sat just a couple feet away from the large window. The couch is in the shape of a longer, wide coffee table. It has no backrest, it’s just flat, it is more like a comfy bench.

Kendall grins as he pulls your dress up above your hips, “We can let people watch, but they don’t get to see your body. He motions for you to lie on the flat bench and you do so. He takes off your panties before he takes off his jacket and undoes his pants.

The penthouse was pretty high up, so no one from the streets would be able to see you, but all the people in the building across the way could if they were to look out the window and into the penthouse.

“You’re the only one who gets me, yeah? The only one that understands.”

“Yes.”

“You agree that everyone at that club was in the wrong?”

“Yes, Kendall.”

“Tell me that I’m the real winner, that I deserve it.”

“You deserve it Kendall, you deserve the crown.”

He strokes himself and closes his eyes for a moment before breathing out, “That’s fucking right.” He then puts your ankles on his shoulders, “They just don’t understand.” He thrusts forward roughly, making you take all of him. He doesn’t pause or slow down his movements; when Kendall is upset, he doesn’t stop until he is satisfied.

As you let him fuck you, you turn your head to look out into the city. You never thought that you’d be here, looking out at the New York city lights while letting the rich Kendall Roy fuck you in his

penthouse. It is like a dream.

Kendall continues his movements, with both pleasure and anger running through his blood, he speaks again, “Fuck, I wish it could always be like this.” A groan rides up his throat, “Me being on top and in control. Not just with you, with everything. The company, the world, fuck, I want to be on top of it all.”

A quivered moan falls from your lips, “You will be Kendall.” The next thing you bring up is something you know that makes him crazy, “You are number one.”

And you are right, those four words together excite him. He lets out a grunt and curses as he picks up the pace. Kendall is high on coke, coke and power. He doesn’t hold back, he can’t.

You turn your head so you can look at him, “No,” he says, “go back to how you were. Show the people of New York how much you are enjoying me.” Listening to Kendall, you turn your head back to the side. Your lips are parted a little. “Show them just how good I can be.”

As you have been wanting him so badly hours before, you are already close to that peak, “Kendall-”

He already knows from your sounds and your body language, “I know, just a little longer for me, I’m not there yet. Hold out just a little longer or you’ll have to do it twice over.”

“I can’t.” You whine.

“You can. Do it for me. Give me what I want.”

And for Kendall, you hold back. You don’t have to hold back for long though, because soon he tells you to let go and as soon as you get that permission, you let go. Kendall does too, he gets to that peak right after you as he can’t go on for any longer. He loves it when he has you finish around him. He fucks you through your orgasm and he soon finishes inside you. He gives you three more small thrusts before pausing inside you again to catch his breath.

He soon tugs his pants back up and you pull your dress back down, “You think they liked the show?” He asks with a grin before looking out the window.

“Yes, but I think they are all jealous.” You smile at him then kiss his cheek.

“Jealous of who, you or me?”

“Both.”

[aidaronan]

✨Fic Writing Review 2023✨

Tagged by the incomparable @greatunironic and my beloved @wynnyfryd.

Words and Fics

58, 889 words published on ao3

Plus at least 14,975 or so words of unpublished things that are started and incomplete.

At least 30 new ideas and/or WIPs.

8 published fics on ao3 + some new additions to the drabble/ficlet collection + many tumblr fics/microfics

One completed collab with @sparkle-fiend and one collab (two really) with @sparklyslug in the works

Two monsterfucker fics influenced by the Steddie FanExpo NoLa crew and getting crossfaded as fuck in the French Quarter after meeting Guiseppe Quintilliano.

Top 3 by kudos

Cassiopeia, Orion, Bootes (aka he was a gator boi) Like I Always Do (post-starcourt hurt comfort) Nothing Hurts (Like Your Mouth) (oops! all monsters. vamp eddie and were steve banging in a mausoleum)

Fandom Events in 2023

Lex's Spicy Six Spring Fanworks Challenge

Multiple @steddiemicrofic challenges: read here.

Upcoming Projects

Two Stranger Things Reverse Big Bang fics. Hilariously, neither of them are Steddie as the main pairing, but I think at least one is likely to hit novella length. I can't say a lot due to secrecy, but I feel safe saying one is a gen fic and one is f/f.

One tiny baker!steve/rockstar!eddie collab with @sparklyslug, hopefully out this holiday season.

One bigger collab with @sparklyslug in the spring if we keep our enthusiasm together long enough.

Will keep trying to plug away at the witches fic. I have, admittedly, lost some enthusiasm for them but I do know where the story is going. If you love this one, please be loud at me but in a non-demanding way lmao. I need you.

Two Fandom Trumps Hate fills of at least 10k for @withacapitalp and my dearest, Andi.

Eddie Bio project.

???Who Knows??? But there will probably be monstercock involved.

Some personal chat, rules, and tags under the cut.

Doing some oversharing because I'm starting to think it's vital that we all are honest about our struggles so we don't feel alone and so we know we're not failures. We're just people.

It's been a low production year for me. It's been a difficult year in general, but sometimes change is hard even when it's change you need.

Over half my year was eaten up with job hunting, moving, and trying to adjust while feeling the depressive effects of not having a local friend/support network yet or enough money for whatever the fuck the economy is, esp in this area relative to my salary. A good deal of my body of works for 2023 were written pre-move. Hell, a good deal of them were written in the first quarter. (Which, btw, shout out to anyone else who often feels a bittersweet sort of regret at not being productive in the current internet environment where you feel like you're old news if you can't keep up an unsustainable output. I love you, same, it's prob not true anyway, and here are 200 forehead kisses. <33) All of that said, I'm feeling much better lately. I've been reading again. Writing again. Feeling like I'm living again. I'm looking forward to another arbitrary border of time and on filling that border with joy, especially queer joy and weird joy and the intersection of both of those. As they say: let's fucking gooo.

I still love it here. I know steddie won't be forever for me, just like other ships before them weren't forever for me. But I'm having fun and have been really enjoying some of the connections made in this little sandbox.

On that note:

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please do eat glass, I’ve heard it’s good for your gums. Tagging, even though I know some people have already been tagged: @sparklyslug, @wormdebut, @banannabethchase, @just-my-latest-hyperfixation @messessentialist @rainbow-nerdss @plutosrose @thefreakandthehair and anyone else. @ everyone who keeps this fandom rippin' and roarin', kissing you, kissing you, kissing you

[c0rpseductor]

random fic thots. and also fatphobia thots. and sexuality thots. Lots of topics

morningstar is just kind of about a lot of stuff that’s important to me bc it’s lestat appeal fic, and one of the things i’m planning to unpack in it is just a bunch of shit about fatphobia and desirability and eating disorders and so on and so forth

so pfeil has disordered eating habits that mostly revolve around restriction, but is still fat. he’s often on that ‘one meal a day just enough food to kinda shakily maintain basic functioning’ grind. it’s not entirely about his body image, but of course like, he’s aware he’s fat and is self-conscious about it, so it’s still relevant.

obviously this is why we need chubby chaser emet. in this narrative. emet likes fat guys. he specifically finds pfeil’s fatness attractive. it also majorly concerns him that pfeil is like…quietly and almost incidentally starving himself in the way a lot of people with eating disorders do when they’re not actively restricting. And he and pfeil just kind of naturally settle into a fairly low stakes D/s thing.

what i’m saying is i think “Please eat and don’t die” may end up getting tied up in their sexual dynamic, and between that and the general focus i feel like i’ve given to both the Idea Of Fatness and what characters are eating day to day, i’ve been kind of worried that if and when things head there readers are going to be like “what is this weird gross feeder shit all about!! Fatphobic! fetishizing! blocked and reported!”

it’s mostly a dumb concern, i think it’d help if i got some sleep lol, but like, idk. what i really want to write here is a story about a very traumatized guy coming to reclaim the idea of having a body and a sexuality and part of that is necessarily going to have to deal with the fact that he’s fat and does not eat in order to punish himself. and it like. just fucking frustrates me that i feel like if you try to touch on that in a sexual context At All then suddenly everything you do and say is suspect and fetishistic and weird and evil and fatphobic. even if you’re fat. Please make that make sense.

like. idk. food is such an important part of daily life bc without it you fucking die. eating together is a very basic human social activity. im very of the dungeon meshi mindset with this. food is a major arbiter of daily rhythms and social bonds and the way characters interact with it says a lot about them and their relationships to themselves and others and denying oneself pleasure related to eating is like. psychologically bad for you. sharing food with other people is a gesture of intimacy and affection and care. you don’t break bread with bitches you hate. Do you see where i’m going with this.

i’ve thought about just not including that dynamic bc of the way people view fat people having basically Any sexuality that acknowledges being fat as Weird Predatory Degen Fetish Shit unless you’re self-flagellating about your weight, but like. I don’t think i want to do that actually. i think maybe i am saying something important about inhabiting one’s own body and also about loving a person who is very ill.

idk. i feel silly making a long defensive post about stuff i haven’t even written yet. i think it’s more kind of like, i just wanna be able to kind of sift through my thoughts, and i wanna be able to express frustration about The Whole Thing. i think it’s kind of fucked up that i don’t feel at all nervous talking about wanting hot guys to put cigarettes out on me or hit me in the face or whatever bc that’s typical kink but the minute im like “i am fat and recovering from atypical anorexia and i would like a hot guy to think it’s hot that i’m fat and encourage me to eat because he thinks that’s hot and not care if i gained weight recovering” it’s the scariest thing in the world bc there is a significant number of people out there that think this is inherently dehumanizing of fat people. and will be offended. or just disgusted. im not even into weight gain i literally just want to be encouraged not to starve myself But Sexy. idk bro it’s fucking nuts that people take issue with this

[postoctobrist]

Hi, Alice. I know this isn't really your usual sort of ask, but seeing you talk so lovingly to people just beginning to work out their gender feelings has made me feel sort of melancholy because I feel like I'm on the opposite side. I've been out for almost a decade, I'm coming up on seven years on T and I just kind of feel like I've lost the joy in being trans. I'm dealing with some health stuff, probably related to my hormone levels but as yet undetermined, which has basically eradicated my ability to have any sort of sex life (this is on top of other, much more long-term chronic illness). I might have to start taking estrogen as well which is terrifying the absolute shit out of me even though I know intellectually that taking a very low dose won't have any of the effects I'm afraid of.

I feel like a walking embodiment of the shit TERFs say about how taking hormones will ruin your life and fuck up your genitals. I'm utterly broken down by the relentless transphobia of this shitty fucking island. Sometimes I scare myself into thinking that I want to detransition, even though I know I wouldn't be happier as a woman, but god damn, when I think about that hot little 18 year old lipstick lesbian I was a decade ago it makes me want to cry. I don't know how to feel good about my body anymore. The days of feeling excited about playing with my gender expression feel like they happened a thousand years ago on Mars. The semblance of 'community' I had before COVID sort of disintegrated and I'm still mostly too riven with COVID anxiety to get it back. I'm very sorry for dropping this enormous shedload of feelings on you but I guess I just don't know how to take joy in being trans anymore.

I've been there - sometimes I am there. As a community, we're pretty good at getting people through the early years of transition, but after that you're supposed to just be good, which might be fine except that all the other parts of life keep going. Not only does transition not solve all your problems, but you keep getting new problems and they're all weird - my top left rib pops in and out of place a bit when I sit down now, it's great. We don't have a good set of ways for talking or thinking about aging, including for cis people. And on top of everything else, the world is getting harder and hotter and more bigoted and we survived a fucking pandemic. But: we survived a fucking pandemic. And we survived all the other things. We're tough, tougher than anyone gives us credit for, including us. Under the circumstances, we're doing pretty good. So that's the first thing: what you're feeling is normal.

Second part: is that feeling helpful or realistic? I don't think that it is. You can't know that you'll always be unhappy with your body, or that you'll never rebuild community. I don't believe that people can be ruined. Okay, you can't go back to being 18, and that's painful, but neither can cis people and they get upset about it too. And 18 year olds are really annoying, imagine being one.

All in all what I'm getting at is that stuff happens to us, like it does to everyone. We took an uncommon step to enforce the correct version of ourselves on the stuff, that's all. And you don't always have to be happy or picture-perfect about it, you don't always have to love it. But if that version of you is the right one, I suggest there is something there beyond joy. The joy can be beautiful, but time has given me the chance to understand my transness as a solemn, clear declaration of myself.

And that joy can and most likely will come back. Even if you have to find new things or think in new ways, inshallah we will all get our joyful moments. Despite everything.

be courageous when the mind deceives you be courageous

in the final account only this is important

[jennrypan]

I need people to stop tryna gaslight me into thinking this show was good and it did Lokis character justice

Like what do you MEAN there are people that fucking like this shit and think it was good?? I thought that was a joke, please be so fr.

The series started off as being about Loki (Avengers 1 loki mind you, the loki that stabbed out a guy's eye. Who was in his worst state and getting shit done by any means. The loki still fresh of his family problems and Thanos mind control.)

But then. It's abou5 fucking Time nazis and stupid shit and then oh low and behold there's a BETTER loki, and oh! She's a girl so he can have a crush on her! Nevermind how fucking weird that is and then this version is better than him in every way (Also she's a fucking oc. Lady loki is nothing like this. 🙄)

This fucking girlbossified nonsense is what Loki became. It wasn't about Loki or HIS struggles but how much Sylvie suffered. And how he has to deal with his issues cuz it's not as bad??

Like nevermind the issues Odin placed on him at a young age, hiw he never felt accepted, how he never felt equal to Thor cuz Thor was the favorite. Nevermind the torture he went through with Thanos and how Frigga died and how that affected him. (No yeah let's blame him for that. Thanks Mobius you cunt.)

And then! Let's frequently insult, belittle or hit him whenever it's necessary cuz I'm such a girlboss I can be an asshole 24/7 cuz My universe died. Or let's put Loki in a fucked up little memory where he's repeatedly kicked in the balls for some stupid ass reason. (Wow Mobius is SUCH a good person to ship with Loki, woooow. This is yalls ship?? Be so fr.)

AND THIS IS ALL FROM SEASON 1

And then we meet the Loki varients..which most of them shouldn't be a variant cuz Loki isn't some fucking title it's literally LOKI. Himself.

I can't even get through the stupid shit that was Kang and how Sylvie fucking destroyed timelines and oh wow she beat Loki again cuz shes just sooo cool, and SHE ruined the timelines and yet. Loki has to clean up her shit??

Come the fuck ON.

Loki should've stayed dead in Infinity War this is so fuckjng insane.

Lokis whole thing was how much he loved Frigga and his brother, even Odin but he felt inferior and wanted to prove he could rule, despite being a frost giant (which we barely see mention of??) He barely talks about his family and now his fuckingg tag is allll about how these people tricked themselves into thinking Loki would get with Mobius of all people and giggling about this nonsense ship of himself.

Why is Loki allll about shipping now?? And the people he's shipped with trest him like shit!!!

Fuck. This series was shit and we needa realize that

[obsidiancreates]

One Undead To Another (Chapter 13)

“We can’t just charge people blood as payment, Shawn!”

“Why not?! Gus, it’s so much more ethical than any other way to get it!”

“What about finding someone who’s not desperate for help to donate it?”

“What, like you? Gus, I’m pretty sure I’ll need some every day, you can’t handle that!” And Shawn’s not sure he’d be able to stop at one bag, one pint. The blood bag is still laying on the floor, the fridge door is still open, some of it is still lingering in his mouth, and yet already he can feel the tight, twisting sensation taking hold of his insides, the slight dryness in his throat. It’s not too bad– he might be spot-on with thinking he’s gotten used enough to their… scents? Tastes? To them, being around him, and being used to them helps, but the temptation is still there. He thinks if he got a taste of Gus’s smooth, comforting, important blood, he wouldn’t be able to stop until he had every. Last. Drop.

The thought is so strong, so enticing, that Shawn actually has to reel back from it, as though he can leave it hovering where his head had been. He can’t. It follows. He clears his throat, swallowing the iron-tainted saliva (or whatever it is now) to try and soothe the new dryness. It doesn’t work. “Besides, that’d just be weird. You guys are my friends, not an all-you-can-eat-buffet.”

“You guys? Uh, newsflash, Spencer, I never offered.”

“I didn’t either.”

“Good! Then you agree the blood payment thing is the right option!”

“No, it’s still creepy,” Lassie says matter-of-factly. 

“And a little like they’re making some kind of evil deal with you,” Jules says with an apologetic wince. 

“Not an evil deal. A supernatural one, yes, but I’m clearly a good vampire. Like that angsty guy in Buffy.”

“Angel?”

“No, Gus, the guy in the trenchcoat, looks like he was made out of all square bones.”

“Yeah, Angel!”

“They named the trenchcoat wearing brooding vampire Angel? … Wow. Point is, I figured out a solution! … Kind of. I’m still not sure how often I’ll need this, I guess. So far it seems… a little dependent on a few things.”

“... Like?” He can’t tell them. If he tells them they’re apart of it, they might leave. He’s already on thin ice as it is, it was thin before he was a vampire and now he’s basically only above the water because he’s clinging to some kind of branch of his own making above him. Maybe a big kite? Could be a low-flying helicopter, but then the water would be all choppy– what was he thinking about again?

Right, thin ice. He knows he’s been just barely clinging onto deserving them all these years, he knows, and now…

He can’t tell them. He can’t.

“Like getting hurt,” he blurts out. “I uh– I dove out of the way of a car earlier and it hurt, and that’s why I was suckign the bag down like that when you came in.”

“You dove out of the way of a car? Spencer what the hell did you–”

“Look, I caught a kidnapper for a guy who told me without any prompting, that he’d give me the blood from his veins to catch her. That is a direct quote! He offered first!”

“Where is this kidnapper now?”

“The station, probably the holding cell.”

Lassie and Jules share a look, and finally fully put their guns away. Lassie points at Shawn. “We’re checking your story,” Lassie warns. “Guster, do you think you can handle keeping an eye on him?”

“Please.” Gus pulls a cross made out of two taped-together pencils from his jacket.

Shawn’s entire body tenses, and he finds himself lurching backwards with a hiss. The moment passes as suddenly as it comes over him, and before the hiss is even done leaving his throat he slaps his hand over his mouth and looks at Gus with wide eyes.

For a long, breathless second, nobody moves. Gus stares at Shawn with his mouth agape and a low squeal leaking out of his throat. Lassie and Jules are frozen in place, slightly hunched, waiting for Shawn to pounce. He doesn’t. He’s as frozen as the rest of them, hand over his mouth and keenly aware that his heart isn’t beating in his ears. He didn’t know he could miss the sound of his own organs so much. Muscle? Gus said something about the difference once. Maybe Shawn should’ve paid more attention when Gus talked about how squishy inside parts worked.

It seems to stretch on forever. Shawn is the first to break the moment, clearing his throat again and pulling his hand down to his jacket pocket. Lassie and Jules reach for their guns. Gus’s hand holding the cross starts to shake.

“That… was involuntary,” Shawn says, sniffing and nodding at nothing. “That uh– that was bad, I’ll own up to that one. That was creepy.”

“No kidding.” Gus doesn’t lower the cross. His voice is garbled and strained, like he’s holding back from throwing up. Again. Shawn starts looking through the cabinets for an antacid, maybe a Ginger Ale.

“Please tell me you have more than just that on you,” Jules whispers. It’s weird to hear whispering sound so loud, so clear. There are qualities to it that make it obvious she’s keeping her voice quiet and low, but to Shawn it’s as easy to hear as if she’s shouting it. He pretends he can’t hear it for her sake. Maybe he should be hurt by her suggesting Gus need weapons– okay, maybe he is hurt– but he also understands.

That was a lot. The instinctual lurching away, the hiss, he’s pretty sure his eyes went red again just based on a feeling– he’d want to make sure Gus had a way to protect himself too.

“I’ve got a bunch of really sharp wooden pencils in my desk,” Gus mumbles back. Would those work? Shawn’s not sure if he hopes they do, or if he hopes they don’t.

“Carlton, do you have an extra gun in your car?”

“I’m not giving Guster a gun.”

“Besides, guns can’t kill vampires. Unless they had silver bullets.”

“I thought that was werewolves?”

“Vampires too.”

“Gus.” Shawn finds the antacids and tosses them Gus’s way. He misjudges how much force he puts into it. The bottle hits Gus in the chest hard enough to knock him back and take the wind out of him.

“Crap! I’m so sorry man, I–!”

“I’ll grab the gun.” Lassie leaves and comes back in the time it takes for Jules to help Gus into his desk chair and make sure he’s okay.

“I’m fine,” Gus wheezes. “We need to kick Shawn off the softball team, though.”

“What?!”

“You almost threw a bottle of medicine through Gus’s chest!” Jules opens it and hands Gus a tablet, which he accepts with a slight whine and grateful nod. “Shawn, you could kill someone with a pitch!”

“I’ll get a handle on it! This whole vampire powers thing has been a little spotty is all! I’m sure I’ll get used to it!”

Lassie hands the gun over to Gus, with no small amount of hesitation or visible emotional turmoil. “If I get that back in anything less than perfect condition, Spencer won’t be the one you have to worry about.”

“He doesn’t have to worry about me in the first place!” He does, he really does, Shawn can’t even close his mouth all the way because he wants to drink up every bit of their smell-tastes he can he loves it he loves them he wants them around forever–

He shakes his head, trying to make it seem indignant by throwing in a huff. With one last concerned (and suspicious) look his way, Lassie and Jules head out to check on his… alibi? Story? Excuse? On what he told them, at the station.

The ache in his throat fades away a bit when they leave. Not totally, but a little. He sits at his own desk, watching Gus nurse a bottle of water. For a long time, neither talks.

And then Shawn sits up. “Dude, wait, we totally need to talk about the psychic thing!”

Gus blinks, and then sits up straight as well (with a small groan of pain as he does). “Oh my gosh! I totally forgot with everything else!”

“Dude, I’ve been psychic my whole life!”

“You’re followed around by the ghosts of people we solved the murders of!”

“I totally have visions and psychic intuitions! I thought they were just gut feelings, and-and a good imagination!”

“You’re walking proof the afterlife exists!”

“My grandma was psychic!”

“Wait, what? Your grandma? The one who was in the car with us?”

“No, Gus, my other grandma. Yes, that grandma!”

“You do have another grandma, Shawn. Your mom has a mom.”

“Oh yeah. … I don’t know if I’ve met my mom’s parents. They were never really interested in meeting me.”

“Wow, and with how involved your mom is that’s such a surprise.”

“Whoa, whoa! Why would you say that, man?”

“Sorry. I’m just kind of freaking out!”

“You are?! I’m the one who’s realizing my entire life is a lie! And then a truth, but I thought it was a lie, but it’s not!”

“Have you had any more visions yet?”

“A bunch!” Shawn flings himself out of his chair, picking up a ball toy from his desk and tossing it between his hands. “I felt my grandma and asked her something and she gave me visions of her being psychic, for one.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously! Oh my– Gus, does this mean my dad knew she was? Has he been hiding that from me this whole time?!”

“He probably didn’t believe her. But you should ask him.”

Shawn feels the phantom pain, the dryness, the hunger. He swallows. “Maybe another time. I still gotta process this, man. I don’t even know what’s psychic and what’s not.”

“Now that I can help you with. One hundred percent normal brain, at your disposal.”

“Gus, we both know that’s not true. If you weren’t black and I wasn’t a chatterbox we’d both have been diagnosed as Autistic ages ago.”

Gus nods a little. “Alright, fine. But it’s still a non-psychic brain, so it’s better than nothing.”

“... Okay, uh… do you see thing highlighted when they’re important?”

“What?”

“Like, you notice a detail and it highlights. Gets a little glowy, stands out, maybe lifts up a little in your vision like someone cut it out of a magazine?”

“Shawn.”

“Yeah, now that I say it out loud I know that’s not normal. But is that psychic or eidetic hyper-observant whatever else? I have too much stuff going on up in here, man! I can’t pick it all apart!”

“Okay, try something easier.”

“Okay, okay, uh… do you zoom in on things you notice? Like if you see something across the street, can you zoom your vision in?”

“Like a camera?”

“Yeah! Okay, so that’s nor–”

“Not even kind of normal, Shawn! You could do that before the vampire powers?! Okay, I’m starting a list.”

“Better pull out a couple of pages, buddy. I have a feeling it’s going to be a lot.”

“A psychic feeling?”

“Man, you know I can’t tell if it is or not! … It might be. How many days off did you take?”

“I blocked out my whole week.”

“... Maybe make it two weeks. Just– you know. Just in case.”