#And yes Kris Aquino
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Books and Voice
I really don't understand why my voice changes. I have always been trying to hone my voice most especially when I'm using this language.
There is always a heavy baggage in my chest whenever I have Kris Aquino's kind of voice.
By the way, I bought a few books yesterday. I'm planning to donate them to a public school where I am immersing. They only have a small library. When I was a student, I don't usually have textbooks and workbooks. They are expensive. We just borrowed from other people. I was even sent outside class because of a rule that my teacher (who happens to be one of my brother's god mother) said. She didn't expect that I'll be the only one who will not bring a book in class. She gave me an old copy after. I don't really feel down just because I don't have school books. My mother was an English teacher. I have more access with reading books. All kinds since I was young. My classmates won't be able to read the books that I had. All stories. It started with fairy tale books that my mother's students lent me. Fairy tales and toy magazines. My mother has lots of reading books also that she uses for teaching. My kuya (cousin) has so many comics, he had daily supply of a local comics here in the Phils. Yes, Funny comics made me learn how to read. He had another collection when we got older. I was his book thief. He was also like my father and grandfather. They have favourite newspapers that they read every day. My family actually love the English language so much or we are so engrossed with foreign stuff. I also frequent the library because I always stay at school after class to wait for my mother who was teaching. It was my turf. One of my regrets, I refused to take the presidency of Book lovers club because I was already chosen to succeed a post in another club. It was a new club. Really made me sad that the officers aren't readers. Top students but not readers. Not book lovers. I had lots of reading books but I don't keep them, I lend them because borrow too. We passed on books.
I want to share what I thought was my advantage to some other kids. Maybe they won't be around the same people that I had or experience what I had. I want to leave the skills and knowledge. I thought if you are not rich in money, you can be with knowledge, and that is a good start.
I don't like this voice, my voice is skidding. My high school voice.
Another thing, some people are like leech, right? Like the G.
I made mistakes? because I am skeptic. I can list down what I did. they always put me in positions vulnerable to mistakes. I have no routine. Most of them prepared. Doing the same work in a day, in weeks and months and years (Hello brat). Me, changes tasks more than once in a day. I'll guess, the G managers are paying my cousins now? I have two siblings who said that their school is owned by a G but they were not mentioned in the school's history. why do you think I will not think that they are related to those who sent me to rehab? My siblings studied there during high school only. Just 4 years. They were already Valedictorians before enrolling. They can be good students anywhere. They don't have any right at me.
Yesterday, I also saw a man who looks like my molester. Scary. I was just too young to remember the exact face. A bit taller than the average, thin and crew cut hair. Ugly. the kind who wears dog tags. Illiterate kind of boys here. Dependent from family. Japayuki. You know my mother's family were poor mostly girls in a brood of 10. In that small puritan town, there are so many Japayuki's. My mother's sister had fights with those who were forcing them to be Japayuki's. Base on my orientation they are drinking club entertainers. Maybe the name was taken from the word Karayuki. I heard this from my History professor in UP. It means travelling prostitutes. I hate it that I was added to my family. I was a very, very minor then. My tito also worked in Japan. He had a very distinct position. We don't need them for any connection. They are probably lower than my tito's staff.
Maybe you get warried of me mentioning my family here. I miss my father's family. They are old, even my siblings who can reach them are parting away. I am the only one who is stagnant. Still a child. I helped raised my own family. I hope they will look back to those who help my parents raised us. We only joined my mother's family when I was already in college. My mother had again a longer feud with my father's. I mean, my younger siblings only got to know my mother's at that time. I hate it that we are parting from my father's because we have to help my mother's. But they are not like us. We strived to be independent. I don't see any hint that they are making moves to be independent someday. All relying to my brother. Me temporary because I don't want to be with them.
Cherry leech. I don't need their visa stamps.
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106/100 - Crazy Rich Asians
Rachel Chu is happy to accompany her longtime boyfriend, Nick, to his best friend's wedding in Singapore. She's also surprised to learn that Nick's family is extremely wealthy and he's considered one of the country's most eligible bachelors. Thrust into the spotlight, Rachel must now contend with jealous socialites, quirky relatives and something far, far worse -- Nick's disapproving mother.
Genre: Romance, Comedy
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I DONT HAVE ANSWERS!! I DONT KNOW ANYTHING!!1!!
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Im closing my favorite month of the year with gratitude to God for many reasons and one, one being personal---out of someone's excruciating pain, one is given life. I am that life that came into being !!! I may or may not celebrate this life but someone will, all the time; our bond as mother and daugnter is intensely connected forever which i also hope holds true for all the mothers and their children .
Biased. That is how I am and this is how I feel for February. I let everything pass with ease. I see everything beautiful, everything hopeful, everything colorful, everything full of life. And I give credence to hearts after all, this is the month solely dedicated to love and loving alone. So, we February born people are extra kind this time of the year. You may scream your lungs out and break me and I will treat you with utmost kindness and understanding, but pass February, refrain from annoying me, heart is only good for 28 days, 29 on leap year. In other words, we are tgheoretically lovely creatures but a loose screw in reality.......
At this point, I have given the month of February a bad name and all because of the nyquil and dayquil I have been drinking for the past few days. A combination of tired mind and relatively sick physical body results to lousy and substandard writing.
Let me recover a little .......
I share this birth month with 2 of the most beautiful and intelligent women- Broadway actress Lea Salonga, the original Kim of Miss Saigon and the voice behind Mulan and Princes Jasmine in Disney's Aladdin. Yes, not only an actress but one with a sharp mind. Talk show host Kris Aquino, daughter of former President Corazon Aquino and sister of the late President Benigno Aquino; witty and cerebral.
Add on: The only basketball player I like - Michael Jordan is Feb born.
Historically speaking, the only time we were hailed and adored internationally on a massive scale for successfully overthrowing dictatorship and gaining back the freedom happened in 1986, known as EDSA Revolution. Unfortunately, we have not matured as a nation and we are doomed repeating history. One from being revered to being execrated; a laughing stock in the world.
When I said weeks ago that I'm proud PINK- 6 years of impunity, fake drug war, extra judicial killings, and corruption, we need another yet transition of good governance. LET LENI LEAD. The Presidential Campaign started this FEBRUARY.
We once met by chance or by grace and I thank the universe for allowing me to live the life i have detailed in my canvass of my head. Let's experience it again, and again, and again. It is difficult but I am listening.
HELLO March!!! BE AS NICE AS FEBRUARY OR AS INSANE AS INSANE CAN BE.
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Dei’s Treasured Trophy
Author’s Note: This is my entry to the English Division and Short Story Category of the 68th Don Carlos Palanca Memorial Awards for Literature. This is a draft story years ago but I cannot proceed with it yet because I am looking for a strong character profile. Until this early 2018, I decided Maine is the fitting inspiration for that character. She knew I will join Palanca as I told her the first time we met. Afterwards in our second meeting, I showed her the receiving copy of my submitted entry. I now wholeheartedly share this story to you after the committee announce the winners. Enjoy reading! - RJ T. Vargas
Synopsis
To describe Dei, she is a hardworking freelance worker, responsible student, and loving daughter and sister. She balances her time between her all responsibilities no matter how busy she is. Out of all her priorities, taking care of Rionne, her younger sister, is the most important one for her,
A memory from last year still haunts Dei for the fear it may happen again. She does everything she can to prevent it. She shall do whatever it takes to protect everyone she cares for, most especially her sister.
Fear is a deceptive emotion Dei has to deal with. Either it may immobilize her from carrying out the things she must accomplish, or it can turn into a driving force for her to gain the strength she needs to overcome the challenges.
This short story is an attempt to raise more awareness and fight against the stigma about an issue. Dei’s Treasured Trophy shares values about resilience, self-love, friendship, family ties, and faith in God.
Dei’s Treasured Trophy
“CONGRATS for your great performance in Olympics Ann! Ibang level ka na talaga!!!!THAT’S MY BESTFRIEND!!!!Share your stories about your games and experiences sa bonding natin ha. I miiiiiss youuuu! Let’s catch up soon please!”
Dei types her message and presses the enter button. Last time she saw her was a week before her month-long training in South Korea then Ann flew to Hong Kong for the competition. Her best friend replies, “As soon as we get back home, promise! See you soon Dei! (^_^)”. It’s amusing how Ann still adds emoticon even when most online users choose emoji nowadays.
She switches the tab from Facebook to a WordPress login page. She finishes her deadline for one of her regular freelance projects. Her blog posts about the top 10 most romantic Coldplay songs is due tonight. Dei transfers her revised draft and saves it there for pending review of her editor. It was hard for her choosing her top 10, as she loves all their songs. Also, she is a huge fangirl of Chris Martin. ”Iba talaga feels ng mga kanta nila!Oh I hope Coldplay comes back here…” she mutters to herself.
She then opens Audacity and polishes an audio file by reducing the noise background and adding more echo. No matter how confusing the uploaded files are in the track control panel, she handles everything like a pro. She saves and sends the audio file to a client who hired her as a voice-over talent.
Her spare time for this month is more than what she scheduled first. Dei wonders if she can do an additional freelance project. She opens her Facebook and scrolls down to see posts in a group of local freelance talents searching for auditions and casting. She finds a workshop offered by an entertainment agency. A director Dei will never forget in her life will conduct it. She has been a talent appearing in commercials and TV shows. Several months has passed but she still remembers his response after she told that director she is just an extra in those projects.
He asked her experiences because he mentioned her familiarity despite her lack of self-confidence. The director likes her wit and spontaneity in an impromptu comedic act she did for her audition.
“Anak, support ang tawag sayo, hindi extra.Those scenes need your role as a support to be complete. I see a future phenomenal star in you. We can further improve your talents once you believe more in yourself.”
He was willing to train her under his talent pool. Dei wanted to say yes and commit that time because it is one of her dreams to enter the showbiz industry. However, she is still an incoming fourth year student in college that time around. She cannot afford to fill her schedule more than what she can do and what her time allows.
“Well, I cannot get sad over a missed opportunity. Priorities first!”She browses her own YouTube channel. It is one of her so-called happy distraction when she feels down or is about to feel that way.It has been a long time since her last posted video.
“I miss sharing more videos to my ten supporters.” She laughs loudly.
Dei positions her camera with the tripod. She acts like a model in front of the mirror. Her full bangs almost covers her expressive dark brown eyes. Her black hair is an inch past her shoulders. She thinks of dropping by a salon to trim her hair next week. Her brown and fair complexion epitomizes a morena Filipina beauty. Her sunshine smile shows her excitement for her next video.
She tries to mimic first different artists’ voices and body languages. Then, she impersonates Jessa Zaragosa, Shakira, and Jaya as she sings their songs. Next, she records herself dubsmashing to Kris Aquino’s lines. She gets distracted whenever she laughs hard so she pauses first the recording. Dei decides to record everything in one go for each personality. It takes a longer time for her editing the raw videos because she finds herself funny for her all out on-cam performances. Indeed, she loves making people happy and this is one of her unique ways to do so.
In the middle of uploading her newest video in YouTube, Skype notifies an incoming call.Their parents calling her. Dei expects this call as their parents do it every day.
She answers the call and she’s thrilled to tell them a good news. Her parents are smiling as she sees them on her laptop screen despite of their tired and drowsy eyes. She kisses and touches them through the screen. “Hello po Ma! Pa! I love you so much! I miss you po!” She wishes to take away their tiredness with her simple gestures.
“Dei, how is our ever responsible daughter? Do you even have enough hours of sleep? Do you rest between your busy schedule? Sobrang dami mo kasing ginagawa.” Her mother cannot hide her concerns.
“Of course po Ma! I need my beauty rest so I should not be stressed with school and my freelance projects.Di po ako pwede magmukhang haggard!”
Her father laughs as if he did not laugh for a long time. “We feel like we are with you whenever we video call. By the way Dei, what is the good news you want share? You chat about it last time.”
She tells them to wait for a minute. Returning with a small trophy, she exclaims “Here it is Pa, Ma! This is from our college department. I can’t believe I am one of the three President’s Lister! They gave a trophy to each of us. Umaasenso di ba? Di na lang po sila pa-certificate.They said not every semester they have President’s Lister so this is how they celebrate it with us. This is my treasured trophy!”
“We are so proud of you sweetie! Keep up the good work! This is why we support your freelance projects. You know your priorities well, Dei. You told us before about how difficult are your school works. Here you are now! Your sacrifices are rewarded! Ang galing at sipag mo talaga!” her father beams with much pride.
“Thank you po, Ma!Pa!Uhmmm…May I…May I ask something?”
“What is it?”
“I know I asked this last time but…when will you come back home? If only Dubai is just a tricycle away, I and Rionne will visit you there every day.”
“Dei…” her mother tries to smile as she holds back her tears. If only they have a choice, the couple will stay with their two daughters. “Dei, we love to be there with you and Rionne but we still need to save more. We used almost all our savings for the medical bill of your sister last year. We want to go home too, believe us…but I hope you will understand.”
“How is your little sister doing recently? Do not forget her medicines. Ask her if she feels anything wrong and tell us if you need more help. We will do everything to prevent what happened last year, whatever it takes.” Her father gives her assurance.
“I always take care of Rionne, Ma, Pa. Don’t worry about her. She knows when she must take her medicines. I don’t even need to remind her about it. She is doing well in school. Her grades are within line of nine. Her weekends are filled with either her extra-curricular activities or bonding with her friends or with me. She enjoys doing everything! I’m happy hearing stories of how her day went. If she feels bad about something, she opens up to me. She fulfills her promise of not keeping any secret from me. If only she knows you will call this time, she will not attend her meeting in Student Supreme Council. She misses you too so much! ”She tells them honestly about her sister’s current situation.
“Thank you for taking care of her Dei no matter how busy you are. You always make time for people you love. We are so blessed to have you and Rionne as our daughters.”
They talk for hours until she did not notice her video is uploaded in YouTube.
***
“Every time you look at that trophy, Ate, you’re very proud of that achievement and clean the dusts off every week. Ang cute mo! Hahahaha!” She teases her Ate Dei when she sees her cleaning in their living room. She offers to help her but her older sister just requested her to wash the dishes, into which she follows. Rionne enters her room after her sister cleaned their entire house. She wants to finish her school works and other tasks in her extra-curricular activities.
After Dei cleaned, she knocks at her sister’s room. Rionne says she can come in. She sees her sister with her books, handouts, and other paperwork while she keeps away the seven book-series about themagical journey of the chosen boy to defeat a dark lord. Her Ate Dei gave that book set.
Rionne sits down and focuses on her laptop. Maybe she is finishing a schoolwork, as Dei thought. She bought the book set last week and her sister already told her the summary of every book this morning. Her sister even delivered lines, word by word, from her favorite scenes and characters.
“How did she finish it all? Didn’t she just prepared and competed for her inter-school general knowledge quiz bee last week?” Dei cannot imagine how her sister, a junior highschool student, balances her time as if she is a working adult. Then, she recalls Rionne’s doctor told her before it is normal for her to excel in multitasking, a common ground of those with her medical condition. Dr. Mejia even emphasized they are natural achievers and majority of them have high IQ but they need to improve more their EQ.
Suddenly, A loud hit distracts Dei.
Rionne hits her table hard with her first that it surprises them both. She is used seeing her sister blaming herself with her mistakes but the pains never lessen every time it happens. When things do not go well according to what she expects, she do things impulsively which she regrets later on. Dei wishes her words and hugs are more than enough to remind her sister that her worth is more than all her achievements combined and every setbacks she encountered. Deiloves Rionne so much for who her sister is.
Dei puts away her other books. Her sister’s collection includes fictions from contemporary Filipino writers like Grace Chong, Merlinda Bobis, Miguel Syjuco, Cristina Pantoja-Hidalgo, Dean Francis Alfar and from Filipino classic writers such as Jose Garcia Villa, Nick Joaquin, Liwayway Arceo, and Lualhati Bautista. She also has non-fiction books about self-help and financial literacy from Bro. Bo Sanchez and Chinkee Tan, respectively.
Dei scans her sister’s laptop and notices she just posted a question in a Facebook group about photography and another opened tab is Venus Raj’s testimonial about her Christian faith. Her sister is very open to her after what happened last year. It was her doctor’s advice to read her online posts. It was their parents’ request to see her browsing history given if her sister shows unusual behavior. She opens a recently closed tab, sees an email, asks permission if she can read it. Her sister nods. The email is a short notice of thanking Rionne for her participation but they regret to say her sister did not make it in the cut-off for their school’s final selection of their debate team. Now she understands what made her hit her fist so hard on the table.
Dei looks over the room trying to find anything, which can help her, to make her sister feel better. She stops at the books she bought for Rionne. It is her sister’s first set of books from a foreign author. Her sister placed them at the center space of the cabinet turned to a mini-library. She can’t forget how much her sister loves to have it but the complete set is too expensive for her. It was just like yesterday when her sister jumped out of joy when she gave it on her birthday.
For Rionne, she saw again how generous and thoughtful her Ate Dei is. For Dei, she bought the books not only because her sister wants it but because she always sees the magic in her as she excels in things she does because of her passion. She sees the magic in her heart because she never loses her sincerity, goodness, and faith in God…despite of everything that happened last year.
“Last year? Why am I still thinking about it Wala na yun! Rionne is okay now. We are happy now...”she tries to pacify her own fears.
She approaches her sister slowly. She needs to make sure first her sister wants to be hugged. At times, Rionne pushes her away not because her sister likes to do it but because it is one of the impulsive reactions of her extreme mood swings brought by her medical condition.
Dei shakes her head and reminds herself,“I must pull myself together! This is not the time to be scared! Rionne needs me more now!”
She needs to be strong for her because they do not have anyone with them. She needs to be strong because the situation will get worse if she gives up. She needs to be strong because she loves her so much, she cannot bear to see her sister getting more hurt and angry.
She pats her sister’s head gently. Her sister looks at her and hugs her so tight. Rionne cries on her older sister’s shoulder. That is her haven and refuge. It is and always her Ate Dei who comforts her immediately in times she crashes down in her own thoughts and feelings. She keeps on reminding her sister she is doing her best. She is very gentle to Rionne. Slowly, her sister calms down and stops overthinking.
Unexpectedly, her sister breaks the silence and changes her tone. “You are so sweet and kind Ate! Whoever you choose among those guys who tries to win your heart, he’s such a lucky one!”
Dei laughs and pinches her sister’s cheek. “Dear, your Ate Dei has a lot of priorities and lovelife is not included in it! Hahahaha! Pinapamigay mo na ba ako? I am happy with my life now and I do not need a guy to complete me. Bonus na lang pag may ibigay si Lord.I am happy chasing my dreams. I am happy with our family. I am happy you are here with me, Rionne.”
“The way you call my name is my favorite unlike how everyone else calls me, Ate. It rhymes with lion and your pronunciation feels like I am a royalty.” her sister chuckles.
“Out of everything I said, that’s the only thing you heard? Hahaha!” Dei giggles and hugs her sister. She loves her so much. She realizes she loves her more after she wasn’t home last year for two months. Her giggles and smiles turned to a neutral expression. Fear crawls in her heart. If only it was that easy to forget why Rionne was away from them for two months... She will make sure it will not happen again. She will cross all the oceans just for her sister.
“Lord, please make that the last time…Do not ever let it happen again…”Dei prays as she pleads in her deepest thoughts.
****
“That is the end of my report. Do you have questions? Any clarification?” Dei tries to stand confidently in front of their class. Her blockmates do not have a single clue about her cold and uneasy hands. She prepared enough for this report but she is not sure if she did well. She believes she gave her best but this report is different because their professor has a higher standard compared to what she was used to with her other subjects.
Dei feels awkward with the deafening silence in their room that she can hear the AC unit and ticking of the room’s clock. Her blockmates are active participants but she feels they are too timid now to share their ideas. She clears her throat and asks instead about their personal goal in relation to self-actualization according to Abraham Maslow’s theory, which was about her report. One of them raises his hand and shares his ultimate dream to serve his hometown by becoming a successful businessman. She nods and smiles as he answers because she admires his generosity.
”Parang autistic talaga yang nagmamarunong na yan. Ang bipolar ng mood.”Dei hears someone from the front row whispers to his seatmate. It gets into her nerve but she maintains her composure. She says thank you to her classmate who shared his personal goal.
“Guys, I want to share you one of my personal goals. I want to be a vocal and active mental health advocate with my own foundation to raise awareness about this issue and fight the stigma in our country. I dream that one day, no one will be scared to consult experts as people might say they are going crazy. I want to see that day we will validate everyone’s feelings to prevent triggering them. We may start doing this by avoid using words like autistic and bipolar to mock and insult those we don’t like.Please, let’s be more sensible in our words.” She says it all firmly without mentioning about her blockmates whom she heard those words from.
“Ms. Dei Archangel, I like how you delivered your report even if you did not discuss further the other details. Nevertheless, what I like most from what I heard today is your mental health advocacy. Make that dream of having your own foundation into a reality.”their professor commends Dei.
****
Rionne storms in their living room as soon as she comes home from school. Dei hears her ranting about the periodical exam she failed in the subject she struggles most after her adviser talks to her privately. Her sister expects a low score but not below the passing mark. In her entire student life, that is her first time to fail an exam. It shocks Rionne because she did not see it coming.
She sees her sister’s eyes turn berserk, as if this is another person and not her sister at all.She recalls all the painful words she heard long before. Her sister curses her classmates and yells angrily how insensitive they are for smart-shaming her and calling her names.
Rionne becomes hysterical and impulsive. Dei sees how she grabs that trophy and flower vase. She tries to stop her but her sister throws both on the wall. Its sharp pieces scratches and wounds her. She runs toward her sister to prevent hurting herself more. Her sister shouts the words she is scared to hear the most.
“I AM A FAILURE!!!! I AM USELESS!!!!! I WANT TO DIE!!!!!”
Rionne becomes uncontrollable. Dei did not feel her tears flowing when she sees her sister gets hurt, scared, confused, and mad at herself.She wipes her tears and tries to calm down her sister in her arms. She hugs her tightly even if her sister pushes her away. She remains strong even if she is hurting, physically, emotionally, and mentally. She endures it all rather than not to see her sister again in their home for two months.This is the non-negotiable promise she plants in her heart and she will never compromise it no matter what happens.
In the middle of pacifying Rionne, painful memories last year floods back in Dei’s mind. It was as if everything happened yesterday. She remembers clearly how her sister broke down because a friend she trusts backstabbed her. They cannot calm her down easily.
She started to hurt herself. Minutes later, she punches her parents and Dei. For the next hours, she tried to rush out of their front door. She keeps on shouting she wants to die. She wanted to end it all by running towards a fast moving car. Their father hugged her tight despite all the struggles she is doing to fight against him.
For Dei, it felt like an eternal torture to see her family that way until her sister tires herself. Their mother caresses her hair and hugs her until she calms down. Dei kisses her on the forehead and says, “Everything will be alright dear Rionne. Sleep and rest first.”
Their parents contacted her psychiatrist. Dei saw how her parents cried and hugged each other as if the world turned its back on them. She asked why and what did he said, but they did not answer her.
“Dei, we will go to Dr. Mejia. He wants to see Rionne as soon as possible.” Endless questions and thoughts run across Dei’s mind but she cannot do anything except to oblige to her parents’ instruction.They waited for her to wake up and give her the first aid medication the psychiatrist recommended to help stabilize her mood in a breakdown episode.
Inside the clinic of Dr. Mejia, he talked first to her sister. It went for more than 30 minutes perhaps, as Dei estimated. She was outside and became more impatient while waiting. She stood up and walked back and forth in the hallway. She got more anxious because the regular check-ups with Rionne’s psychiatrist do not usually take this long.He then asked for their parents in the clinic. Dei wanted to barge in that door separating her and her sister whom she feels is terrified silently. She wanted to know everything. What treatment will the psychiatrist give her this time around?
At last, after more than an hour of waiting, Dr. Mejia asked Dei to be inside the clinic and sit beside Rionne. Her sister hugged her, turned to her doctor, and said, “Can my Ate be with me there? If she is not allowed to stay with me, then please let her visit me at least every week…” Tears formed in her sister’s eyes.
Confusion, shock, fear, and betrayal---Dei does not know what exactly she feels at that moment or if she feels everything at once.She loses her temper and firmly said, “Where will you bring her??!! What is going here??!! CAN YOU JUST PLEASE TELL ME EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW??!!” Her emotions took its toll on Dei. If there is something worst to happen, then she needs to know it right at that moment.
Dr. Mejia waited for her to calm down. When she came back to her senses, he explained in details. “Dei, we need to treat Rionne in a psychiatric facility. Her bipolar disorder becomes full blown with the recent event that triggered her. I cannot guarantee how long she must stay there because it will depend if she responds better to the treatments we will give. We need to do this to observe her round the clock to provide her immediate attention. Do not worry, the facility has trained and kind staffs. They have different worthwhile activities on a daily, weekly, and monthly routine. Your family can visit her regularly within the hours they allow. If you have questions and concerns, you may ask now or contact me in the mobile number I gave your parents.”
Dei’s heart sank. The thought of not seeing Rionne for a day already worried and scared her to death. Who will take care of her? Can they handle her if she has her episodes of breaking down and impulsiveness? Will they know if she is depressed like how she feels her sister just by looking at her in one glance? Do they have the patience to comfort her in her worst and darkest days? She wanted to refuse. She wanted to shout and say they will just bring her home.
However, the harsh reality slapped her in that moment---their family cannot take care of Rionne’s worsening mental health condition. That was why her psychiatrist recommended admitting her there as the best or probably the only option left for them.
Dr. Mejia continued, “People with bipolar disorder are a gift for everyone but they see themselves as a curse for themselves. Their extreme mood swings can affect their normal lives which is why we need to balance it. They love sharing their time and efforts doing things they love and for the people they love.” He looked at her sister and smiled, “In most cases, those diagnosed like Rionne are achievers. They want to aim high every time and make people happy. Failing on that exam hurts her so much and triggers her condition, so she feels it is the end for her. The bright side though is even if there is no known and proven cure yet for bipolar disorder, treatments are available for them to live a normal and productive life. Stories of successful personalities with bipolar disorder such as Demi Lovato inspires her.
“Dei, Rionne aims to have a balance life. She believes she will overcome her mental health challenges. Let us give your sister a fighting chance.” Dr. Mejia said those words as if it was so easy for her to just let go of her sister and allow other people to take care of her. It did not sit well with her. She wants to refuse but she cannot think of a better way to treat her sister.
Rionne hits her chest lighty with her fist. “Ako pa! I can do that Ate Dei! Don’t worry about me. I will behave there so I can go home soon and we can bond again!”
Dei did not hold back her tears anymore. She cried while smiling and hugged her sister. She feels ashamed of herself for not trusting Rionne enough. If her sister is this strong, then she needs to be stronger too for her. She agreed to the option after seeing the courage in her sister’s eyes.
For the following days, it has been a regular routine for their family to visit her every day. On weekdays, they went there together in the psychiatric facility. Their parents wanted to see her every single day but their free time is only after their office hours. The visiting hours in the psychiatric facility only allow from morning to afternoon.
On weekdays, Dei went there after her classes. On other days, she was too busy with her school works but she still found ways to visit even if she needs to leave earlier from the psychiatric facility.
Rionne shared different stories based on what happened that day. She told Dei excitedly how it was easy to be friends with most of the patients in the psychiatric facility. She hated how she must drink her medicines every morning, lunch, and night. She enjoyed the activities too like outdoor and board games, arts and crafts sessions, acting workshop, dancing lessons. On some days, she ran towards Dei crying because she said other patients inside shouted at her and they want to pick a fight against her. There are times too when she apologized to her Ate Dei for not behaving well that is why the staff need to isolate her from the other patients until she calms down.
“When will I come home Ate? I miss papa, mama, and of course, I miss you so much!” Not a single day that passed whenever Dei visits, Rionne asked this question with much longing and impatience.
“Soon…just promise me you are behaving every day here so Dr. Mejia can see you are ready to come home soon.” Dei smiled at her with much love and assurance.
In all her visits to Rionne, she was all smiles in listening to her story. She was thrilled too sharing her own experiences, as if catching up with a friend she did not see for years even if she visits her sister every day. Whenever the staff reminded them visiting hours is over, her sister always asked for just few seconds to hug her and tell her she loves her Ate Dei so much. She hugs her back and sees her going inside. A thick metal door closed wherein she feels the patients are like are prisoners. One of the staff explained to her psychiatric facilities need that design for the doors in case anyone breaks down and tries to escape. The staff lets visitors watch the patients through the CCTV monitor. Dei refused to look at it because she does not want to have a memory of her sister inside the psychiatric facility.
As soon as she left the main gate of the psychiatric facility, she cried silently. She failed containing those overwhelming emotions even if she was already used to that exhausting set-up. She did not know anymore at that moment if those tears are out of longing, pain, regret, or hatred at herself for not protecting her sister enough. What she was sure of is she will never give up because Rionne herself is fighting with all she got. Indeed, Dei is the greatest pretender whenever she visits her sister.
This routine went on for days, weeks, and two months.
Finally, Dr. Mejia called them. He called them every week to give update about their youngest daughter’s progress and lapses. That time though, was a different phone call. “Mr. and Mrs. Archangel, Rionne responded positively to the treatments we gave her. In fact, I earlier estimated she might stay for at least six months. Her determination to be well and desire to come back home sped up her treatment. You may settle her bill in the psychiatric facility so she will be discharged within this day.”
Their family went hurriedly to the psychiatric facility to tell the good news to Rionne. Their parents went to the billing department. Few minutes later, they came out with worried look on their faces. The bill cost nearly half a million pesos. They can pay for the amount but that means they have to sell their hard-earned property in the province of their parents and use their savings. Without any hesitation, they started calling their friends who said before they wanted to buy that property.
“Dei, please stay here first. We will find means to get Rionne out and bring her home within this day.” Their parents gave her assurance.
Dei went to her sister first while waiting for their parents. “Uuwi na tayo mamaya! You are brave and strong Rionne! Dr. Mejia said many good things about you. Ate is so proud of you, dear!”
“What did I tell you Ate! Ako pa! At last, I can come home!! Yaaaay!! We will watch movies, cook meals, bike around the village, or just sleep all day long! Hahaha!” Her sister hugged her so tight she felt she was about to be squeezed.
“I promise you Ate Dei, I won’t come back here again as patient. If I will return here, I want to help others enduring bipolar disorder too like me.” Rionne beamed with much confidence.
“Yes, you will not come back in a psychiatric facility again…”
The medical bill almost left their family with nothing in their finances. This pushed her parents to accept the offer to work in Dubai so they won’t struggle in their everyday needs. This is also the same reason Dei works as a freelancer in her spare time from school. Despite all the challenges they experienced last year, it made their family ties closer. She loves the improvements from her sister after the treatments inside the psychiatric facility.
Never did Dei anticipate her sister might have another breakdown.
She continues to pacify her sister after she shakes off those memories she do not want to happen again.“Sssshhhh, everything will be alright dear Rionne. You promised me something last year…You will not come back there again. You can cry. You can tell me everything. Just ple--- just please don’t hurt yourself. I love you…Ate Dei loves you so much and I will do everything to take care and protect you…even from yourself.” She whispered lovingly to her while her voice cracks.
Dei starts humming Rionne’s favorite song. It was from a popular animated movie about a Greek demigod’s journey as he believes he can go far in reaching his dreams.Few minutes later, her sister stops struggling. She gives her the medicine into which she takes in. She sings the lyrics and she looks at her.Her sister hugs her and cries in her shoulder. She is too tired so they sat on the couch as she continues to singing. After the song, Rionne sleeps comfortably in her Ate Dei’s caring hug. She wraps her sister’s right arm on her shoulder and supports her upper body. She brings her sister to her room in that position and tucks her to bed.
“I love you talaga Ate Dei...”Rionne murmurs in her sleep.
Dei brushes her hair and sings her a lullaby. “Thank God she calms down.”She thought. She treats her sister’s scratches and tiny wounds from breaking the vase and trophy with their first aid kit. Her mother reminds her to prepare that in case something happens. She wishes before she will only use it on herself, and not on her sister.She is too tired as well so she tucks herself beside her sister in bed, hugs Rionne gently, and closes her eyes to rest.
It has been a long day for Dei.
*****
“I always need to be strong enough for them but I feel like I am about to give up soon…” Dei types these words and clicks the tweet button.
21 people follows her private account. All of them are her close friends. She trust them with her life. Although, most of them are inactive in Twitter so Dei finds it more comfortable releasing her thoughts in that social media platform.
What Dei doesn’t know is Ann sees that tweet after 5 hours. Her bestfriend replies to her tweet and sends her a direct message in Twitter. Ann feels anxious just waiting for her to reply to she calls her through mobile phone. Dei stares blankly at her phone. Her athletic best friend has fast reflexes in sports and sharp intuition in connecting to friends. She knows at that point Ann would want to ask if she is okay and what is happening. She wants to pick up her phone and talk to her but she does not know what to say at all. She just turns off her phone and stares blankly at the ceiling of her room, contemplating about her thoughts and emotions.
Suddenly, she feels her tears flowing but she is not sobbing. Her neutral expression seems to show her mind and heart made her numb.
Did she become too strong that she did not notice her tears anymore? She doesn’t know but she is certain she wants to fight more.
She needs this time all alone for herself, even just for while. She does not track of the time because at this moment, she wants to clear her mind to gather her strength and focus again.
When her emotions subside a bit, Dei comes out of her room to prepare their dinner. She likes cooking more than Rionne does. Even though her sister does not cook much, she always help her in kitchen. She checks the ingredients. Some are not enough so she sends her sister to an errand to buy some ingredients for their meal.
Not long after her sister went out, she hears repeated doorbells. She thinks may be Rionne gets confuse with the list she gave and will ask about it.
She opens the gate and sees Ann. “We are supposed to meet next week with our catch-up lunch but you made me so worried today! You aren’t replying to my texts and chats. You didn’t answer my calls until your phone becomes attended. I called your landline and it was Rionne who answered. She said you were in your room this whole afternoon. I told her not to mention to you I will visit tonight.” Ann catches her breath after talking too fast.“We’re best friends! Why did you not tell it to me? Since when did you start feeling that way…I mean like what you tweeted?” Ann motions they enter their home to talk about it. Her best friend lets her sit on the couch first.
Ann softens her voice and with a more gentle tone, she says, “Ano bang nangyari? How can I help you? I know there is something wrong the moment I saw your tweet…If you are not yet ready to share it now, we can watch movies here with these DVD copies I bought.”
Dei sighs and turns to her. Her best friend sees her gloomy eyes. “I need to fight back. I must be stronger but it feels like I am running out of strength to fight anymore. Nakakapagod pala.It feels like I am about to lose myself even if I still want to fight.” She admits.
She badly wants to cry but she feels her heart toughened from everything she went through especially in taking care of Rionne. It is nearly a year now since she looks after her sister all by herself. Their parents hesitated to go to Dubai but she assured them she could protect her sister.
Ann lets her best friend vent out all her thoughts to her. They are childhood friends and they went to the same school until they graduated from high school. Dei’s university gave her a 50% scholarship. Ann chose her current university because the table tennis and other sports programs impressed her. Even if they are not from the same university now in college, their friendship remains strong as ever. They even consider themselves twin sisters by heart. Ann knows something is bothering her best friend even before she posted that tweet. She listens intently to her. Her best friend looks at her as if Dei is waiting to hear an advice or words of encouragement.
“Before I reached my dream of playing in Olympics, I experienced failures, rejections, disappointments, and setbacks.” Ann clears her throat as she feels her voice becomes shaky.“I even questioned myself that even I love playing table tennis, can I still continue? I realize Dei you cannot really stop from doing what you love. You just need to rest first, gather strength, and pray every day to focus on your goals.”
Ann sees the photo of their family beside their landline phone. She takes it and shows to her best friend. “I know how much you love you love your family. Let that love become the driving force for you to continue whatever happens. All of us, your friends, are always here to remind you how strong you are but sometimes you need to take a break and rest first. I cannot imagine how difficult your responsibilities are but I know you can do them all.
“I believe in you. God trusts you so much and He never gives more than what you can bear.” Ann smiles and gives her the photo. Dei hugs her and smiles. No need for her to cry more after she feels lighter in her heart.
“Thank you Ann for always telling me the words I need to hear at the most crucial times. Para kang si Doc Gia na level kung makapag-advice.” Dei laughs heartily. Thank God, she has Ann as her best friend.
****
Dei is uncomfortable with Rionne’s silence. Her sister seems to be thinking too much again. She calls her attention.
“Dear, what’s wrong? I know when you are overthinking. I know when you are uncomfortable with anything. What is our promise? No secrets, right?”
“I can’t really hide anything from you Ate…I am sorry for breaking your favorite trophy when I---“
Dei is relieved. At least, Rionne worries over a less important thing. She stops what her sister is saying as she pulls her closer and looks into her eyes.
“That trophy is nothing compared to the treasured trophy I have. Do you know what it is?” Rionne shakes her head gesturing no as a response. Dei smiles widely, pats her head, and hugs her tightly.
“Seeing you live your life in the best way you can. You accept your flaws and turn it into your strength. That is Ate Dei’s treasured trophy, Rionne. That is my true trophy. I couldn’t be more proud of you!”
“I will fulfill all my dreams and I will always say thank you for everything Ate Dei. Watch me shine and fly!”
****
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"Ako nyo high maintenance ako eh. I'm not. I can simply. My version" -Kris Aquino Don't let my standards and boundaries create a judgment I am that so-called high maintenance. Yes. I am maarte but, in some areas in my life. Overall, I am just like you. Ready to adapt and embrace adventures wherever the high roads will take me. And I have to be honest, we need to set a schedule because I have a son. Ha³ I did twerk or edit the photos. It was between 2-3 PM and the sun was high. Normally, the photos were taken against the light. I asked my mum to take photos of me on that spot. Just me. No people around. I was in awe when I saw the new airport. I have read it won an international award against SG's Jewel Changi (not sure if I remember it quickly) due to its economical and the concept or story behind it. Monday tomorrow. Another week. But summer is coming! Argh! #snapseed #morningfilter #edited #cebuigers #desvaneciendome #igcebu #igasia #iglife #igers #illest #instaddict #instacebu #instaday #instagrammer #instalike #instahub #instamood #instaphone #instasize #lifehax #lifesux #mazeltov #pinoyigers #potd (at Mactan–Cebu International Airport) https://www.instagram.com/p/B8oUKREg4Yi/?igshid=1spjoa4h4oeam
#snapseed#morningfilter#edited#cebuigers#desvaneciendome#igcebu#igasia#iglife#igers#illest#instaddict#instacebu#instaday#instagrammer#instalike#instahub#instamood#instaphone#instasize#lifehax#lifesux#mazeltov#pinoyigers#potd
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hi powszxc uhm 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, 78, 88, 98, 108, 118, 128, 138, 148, 158, 168, 178, 188, 198 thAnksz poH -N
8 - Are you friends with any of your exes? shems anon paano kung wala akong ex ha at idk why WOHAAHHAHAHAHAHHA pero siguro depende yun, most probably hindi :)) but idk18- Do you read any magazines? hala hindi eh, pero dati nagpabili ako ng total girl magazine kasi may poster.....si kathryn bernardo..... hehehehehehe does that count28- Have you ever butt dialed anyone? oo ata? pero di ko na maalala kung sino. HAHAHHAHAA Lagi ko yan sinasuggest. Saka nagpapaplug ako nung uso pa ganon tas may magttext sakin na number lang tas feel ko ang ganda ko na WHAHAHAHAHAHA EMEGED 38- What is the heaviest you have ever weighed? OMG GRABE TO HAHAHAHAHHA siguro malapit sa ano... malapit sa 140 lbs? mga 142 ata JUSKO PO AYAKO NA PLS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA48- From 1-10, rate your driving ability. Heheheheheehhe mga -3 AWAHAHAHAHA joke siguro mga ano, 3. Marunong naman ako magstart ng sasakyan tapos marunong ako mag-liko liko ganon. Pero yung sa gas, clutch at break + kambyo at pag sabay sabay na di ko na talaga kinakaya oh em58-Favorite YouTube channel? AMOEBA SISTERS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA jokeee hmm ano nga ba. Siguro kay EllaBannana kasi puro music lyrics yun eh lalang nafollow ko sa yt so di ko na inunfollow. Saka gusto ko din pala manood nung kay AC at Lloyd Cadena na vlogs minsan kasi ang saya HAHAHHAHA68-Have you ever acted in a play or a musical? OMG HAHAHAHA YES!!!!!!! nung g8 tapos kahit di ako bida f na f ko yun kasi shet frend partners kami nung crush ko omyghad lang diba ang ganda ko HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA ALADIN AND FLERIDA WINS!!! s/o to my crush charot maharot78-Have you ever gotten any stitches? Sa heart lang..... WHAHAHA joke wala pa anon, at wala na sanang mangyareng ganon. hanggang tela lang ang tinatahi ko.
88- Have you ever gotten fired from a job? Di pa eh, wala pa naman akong trabahooo HAHAHAHA98- Do you consider rapping singing? hmm siguro? okay na din. May tono naman pag nag-rrap diba? HAHAHHAHA P A K NGANERN108- Biggest pet peeve? wth ano i2 hahahahah hmm baka ano na lang....DOOOGS KASI CUTE SILA118- Favorite fandom? kathniel supporter ako noon, as in finafollow ko pa mga twitter accounts ng mga fanbase ganon hahahahahahah pero ngayon wala na masyado eh, di na ako nakakanood masyado ng tv at sine. Sa FB ko na lang nalalaman mga bagong palabas hehez128- What is your Myers-Briggs personality type? eto wait.... sabi nung test the composer daw ako jusko parang mali HAHAHHAHA EWAN ZZZ138- Name a moment in your life when you were pleasantly surprised. KAPAG BIRTHDAY Q LALANG ANG SAYA PALAGIIII THANK U TO ALL MWA HAHAHAHHA saka pag natatawag akong academic awardee lyk shemz thank u for another chance kahit tinatamad ako mag-aral nakakaunsad pa rin huhu148- TV show or movie you quote/reference the most? KRIS AQUINO?? HAHAHAHAHHA OMYGHAD I CANT NA TALAGA158- Favorite Beatles song? di ko to favorite, pero unang pumasok ay yung ano, let it be168- Have you ever been bungee jumping or skydiving? HINDI PAAAAA :((( pero parang masaya i-try? pero jusko di ko alam kung kakayanin ko.....178- Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender? no wayzz HHAHAHHAHAHA NEVERR saya kaya maging gurl, ang dami crush188- Do you live in a house or an apartment? in a hauz yo198- Were you a part of any academic clubs in high school or college? Currently, uhh yes? hahaha :))
slr anon wag ka na magalit sakin....
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Pampatawa lang
Reposted from my Friendster blog: Permalink: http://kristina15.blog.friendster.com/2007/02/matawa-ka-sana/
Melanie Marquez, during her guesting at The Buzz: I have a film with Alec BALDWIN, and DIRECTOR by Romy Suzara...(it's BOVICK, Melanie, bigatin ka na pala at Hollywood star na ang co-star mo, and yes, it's Supposed to be DIRECTED BY..)
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Katya Santos, on the controversial Viva Hot Babes VCD: Eighteen year old ABOVE and PATAAS lang ang pwedeng makabili nitong VCD. (So kung 17 below and pababa, hindi pwede, di ba?)
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Heart Evangelista, reading a letter request at Myx: Dear Heart, I'd like to request the song blah blah... Of course, we will grant your request. You know, everything is possible. Well, yes, everything is possible...WITH GOD!!!
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Boy Abunda, interviewing "Ssshhh...She Walks By Night" star Belinda Bright Boy: Belinda, what is this movie about? Belinda: It's actually a Film Mwah! Boy: Pardon me? Belinda: A Film Mwah, we consider it a film, not a movie. Boy: Ano ulit yun, iha? Belinda: A Film.. mmm.. it's an Art Film. (Film Noir, Belinda, and to think you are Bright!)
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(interview) Master Showman on 98 degrees: Kuya Germs: So what can you say about the Filipinas? Someone from 98 degrees: Ah, they're all pretty. Really lovely and kind. Kuya Germs: Well, have you made love to a Filipina? tsk...tsk...what a shame!
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Master Showman on Judy Ann Santos: Kuya Germs: Salamat at pinaunlakan mo kami Juday. Dahil dyan, may ibibigay kami sa iyo courtesy of video city. Ito ay...aircon?! Aircon! Juday: (luwal ang mga mata) Talaga?! Salamat po. Kuya Germs: Ay...Con Air pala. Isang vhs tape ng Con Air
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Kris Aquino - Danilo Barrios Kris Aquino: i heard sa france based ang father mo ngayon? Danilo Barrios: hindi po. sa Paris. Kris Aquino: so you're a vegetarian? Danilo Barrios: opo. kumakain din ako ng meat.
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Vina Morales, announcing the winners of ASAP's Clash Dance: It's a tie-breaker! lolz!
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Host: What is your favorite feature? Calendar Girl: My favorite feature is my graduation feature! (Todo explain pa siya na kesyo maganda daw siya dun kasi naka-make up siya...) ah...so she thought the question was...what is her favorite "fektyur" hihihihi!
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eto, isa sa peyborit quotes ko mula sa napanood kong Grand Finals ng She's Got the Look dati sa Eat Bulaga: Vic: Contestant Number ---, eto yung question mo: "What is your guiding principle in life?" Contestant: Hmm.. guiding principle? Vic: Oo, guiding principle, kumabaga motto, something na pinaniniwalaan mo. Contestant: Hmm .. (halatang tensed na).. guiding principle.. my guiding principle is.. hmm.. ahh.. ahh.. Vic (grand finals kaya ayaw niya mamahiya): Para siyang motto.. like "Time is Go.." (sabay putol nung contestant) Contestant: Ahh.. my guiding principle in life is "Time is Gold. Thank you!"
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ito, nung Bb. Pilipinas host: how did you develop your love for horseback riding? contestant: when I first went to Tagaytay, I ride a horse and the horse thrilled me! (hmmmm... bakit parang iba meaning?)
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Host: You're doing well as a singer in clubs. What's your next ambition? Guest: Gusto ko pong magkaroon ng recording album! (Recording na, album pa?)
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Host: What don't you like about (name of starlet) ba? Guest: She's too reactionary! Host: What do you mean? Guest: React siya ng react!
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anyway, si melanie marquez pa rin habang iniinterview ni boy abunda: boy: melanie, anung masasabi mo sa mga lumalabas na tsismis na hindi ka lang daw drug addict, drug pusher ka pa? melanie: they are all liars! tingnan nyo nga ako, ang payat-payat ko, i am a model! (tsk tsk.. mukha ka ngang high! )
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angela velez announcing the famas winner.. Angela: And the Famas Goes through... aleck bovic's reaction sa mga di makapaniwala sa pagkabest actress nya.. aleck: di ko na po papansinin yung mga negatives puro positives na lang po..
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dati ko pa ito napanood sa eat bulaga, sa feeling pogi yata: tinanong yung guy kung anong gift nya sa girl na gusto nya, ang sagot nya ay 'top toy'\ (stuffed toy), tawa ng tawa si gladys kaya pinaulit yung sagot, 'top toy' pa rin ang sabi nung guy, as in parang wala syang clue na mali sya
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Inez Veneracion: "I am a one woman man!" (hell, she's a man! )
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New Year's presentation ng See True: Ate Luds: O sige ano na ang inyong prediction para kay Stella Strada? Madam Auring: Lalo siyang sisikat sa darating na taon at malalampasan niya ang kasikatan ni Alma Moreno! Kinabukasan, HEADLINE: STELLA STRADA COMMITS SUICIDE!
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Joe Cantada: So Atoy, what are your prospects now,mukhang makakayanan kayo ng Toyota this coming semi-finals round... Atoy Co: Well Joe, the ball is around! (naghanap tuloy ng bola si Joe) --------
RITA GOMEZ AS A JUDGE IN A BB.PILIPINAS PAGEANT,ASKING A CANDIDATE A QUESTION DURING THE Q AND A (CANDIDATE INCIDENTALLY IS MARIA ISABEL LOPEZ) RITA: Here's your question,hija: Are you still a virgin? MARIA ISABEL: If I say I still am, can I bring home the crown tonight? RITA: Good answer! MARIA ISABEL: What about you Ma'am, are you still a virgin? RITA: Hija I have 5 children with 5 different fathers,what do you call that, Immaculate Conception???
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VILMA SANTOS: Ang ganda ng gospel number na yon,napaka-enlighting.Teka magpupunas lang ako, I'm sweatening.
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HOST: What\'s the latest in international show biz news? Co-host: Whitney Houston has just signed a $100 M recording contract! Host: Wow, that's really huge. Do you think she deserves it? Co-host: She does! After all, in the course of her career, Whitney has sold more than 140 albums! (Huh?!)
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Host: Do you see what I'm holding in my hand? Co-host: What is it? Host: It's the new P10 coin. Co-host: Hey, how about that? - what are its features? Host: Well, it has Mabini or Andres Bonifacio on the cover. (The coin has a cover?)
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Host: Our next sports feature is unique. It's about a new and funny kind of race. Co-host: What's new about it? Host: It's a race in which the racers are riding landmowers! (What in the world is a landmower? - Oh, you mean lawnmower.)
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Host: Your best friend is involved in a controversy right now. What do you want to tell him, to show your support? Starlet: Pare, kaya mo 'yan. At, pag kailangan mo ng tulong, anytime, alam mo naman, andyan lang naman ako, I'll just right by! (Wheee!)
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Host: What has happened to you after you came out with your accusations? Guest: I have received death letters! (Geez, what in the world are death letters?!)
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Host: Now that you have answered your opponent's charges, what happens now? Guest: Now the ball is in the court! (Huh? ano raw?)
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sexy star1: i'm half filipina, half spanish, and half chinese (ano yun, 1 1/2?)
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sexy star2: the show was very success!
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sa SHARON, tinanong niya si Diane de la fuente Sharon: nung nag-secret wedding kayo alam ba ng parents mo? hehehe!
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Tinanong one time si Angelika Jones kung ano role nya sa isang sitcom na gagawin nya sa channel 2.. sabi nya medyo kikay daw sya d2 pero nde naman Over O-A. (so meaning, nde naman OVER Over Acting? )
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Si Candy Allyson naman pag tumalon naman daw sya sa San Juanico Bridge kailangan nya ng Life Best para safe. (Life Best pala tawag dun...kala ko Life Vest!) mali pala akala ko! hehehehe!
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Isang Viva HotBabe sabi nya proud daw sya kasi napasama sya sa 100 Sixtiest Woman!.
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HOST: Why did you separate from your husband? Guest: I realized that I did not really love him. Host: Did you love him when you accepted his proposal for you to marry him? Guest: Not also. Host: So, why did you agree to marry him? Guest: He pressurized me to do it! (Ay, pressurized!)
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Host: What did you have for breakfast today? Guest: Tinapay. Host: Ano'ng palaman ng tinapay? Guest: Juice. (Palaman, hindi panulak . . . BADTRIP!!!!)
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letter sender: vj heart you are so charming and u are my favorite vj! vj heart: also you are! (what the?!! did she finish school?)
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ito sobrang tagal na to. sa martin late at night. guest si vina morales. martin: vina, ganda naman ng damit mo. ritratto? vina: sige, pa-picture tayo!
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originally posted by margalaux at tristancafe.com. original post can be seen on this link: http://www.tristancafe.com/forum/91441#c2899614
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Showbiz Kami: Mariel Padlla Shows Newborn, Kris Aquino Shuts Down Critics And More | HumanMeter
Showbiz Kami: Mariel Padlla Shows Newborn, Kris Aquino Shuts Down Critics And More | HumanMeter Showbiz Kami: Mariel Padlla Shows Newborn, Kris Aquino Shuts Down Critics And More | HumanMeter Subscribe to HumanMeter channel on Youtube: https://goo.gl/JooLri __ Public Prank Videos | HumanMeter - https://bit.ly/2wCAWJc In this playlist, we have included the funniest videos that will definitely put a smile on your face. Do you want to have a good laugh? Check out the dance prank video filmed in the Philippines Do you like comedy movies and TV shows? Watch the special public prank on singing and dancing in Public. Are you interested hearing people’s opinions on various topics? Click and view the street interview. Do you agree with their opinion? Save the playlist to have a good laugh. Filipino Humans | Human Meter - https://bit.ly/2wrYBvA Do you want to stay on top with all of the latest social problems and hear people’s life stories? If your answer is “yes”, then this playlist in exactly What you need! It is full of amazing stories of people in the Philippines that will leave you in shook. Want to find out how a lady manages to live with more than 50 cats in her home? Or, how to be a great single mom? Save this playlist by HumanMeter and get all of the answers! Tricky Questions | HumanMeter - https://bit.ly/2IbpLrX In this playlist, we have included some of the most tricky questions and interesting challenges! Do you enjoy watching street interviews and listening to different opinions? This playlist by HumanMeter contains most hilarious challenges and street interviews in the Philippines... Do you want to see a tongue twister challenge? Would you rather be poor but happy or rich but sad? Save this playlist and try to answer these tricky questions yourself. Social Experiments | HumanMeter - https://bit.ly/2IxrN9a Do you like challenging yourself? If so, this playlist by HumanMeter is worth having a look at. Are you interesting in watching social experiments and seeing how individuals react to different life situations? In this playlist, you can find a Try Not To Get Scared Challenge, Spicy Noodle Challenge, Chubby Bunny Challenge. How would you react to these challenges? Watch the exceptional Javen Tries Everything video on Philippines Street Performers. Would you be able to do the same as him? Save this playlist full of street videos and get all of the answers! __ Connect with HumanMeter Online! HumanMeter - Special social project of Kami.com.gh. Social experiments, pranks in the streets of the Philippines to test the society, to see how people behave in non-standard situations. ___ More interesting links: KAMI: https://kami.com.ph/ KAMI on Facebook: https://ift.tt/2uPMjdR KAMI on Twitter: https://twitter.com/kaminewsph Subscribe to KAMI channel : https://goo.gl/3uTGV9 #HumanMeter#
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Showbiz Kami: Mariel Padlla Shows Newborn, Kris Aquino Shuts Down Critics And More | HumanMeter Showbiz Kami: Mariel Padlla Shows Newborn, Kris Aquino Shuts Down Critics And More | HumanMeter Subscribe to HumanMeter channel on Youtube: https://goo.gl/JooLri __ Public Prank Videos | HumanMeter - https://bit.ly/2wCAWJc In this playlist, we have included the funniest videos that will definitely put a smile on your face. Do you want to have a good laugh? Check out the dance prank video filmed in the Philippines Do you like comedy movies and TV shows? Watch the special public prank on singing and dancing in Public. Are you interested hearing people’s opinions on various topics? Click and view the street interview. Do you agree with their opinion? Save the playlist to have a good laugh. Filipino Humans | Human Meter - https://bit.ly/2wrYBvA Do you want to stay on top with all of the latest social problems and hear people’s life stories? If your answer is “yes”, then this playlist in exactly What you need! It is full of amazing stories of people in the Philippines that will leave you in shook. Want to find out how a lady manages to live with more than 50 cats in her home? Or, how to be a great single mom? Save this playlist by HumanMeter and get all of the answers! Tricky Questions | HumanMeter - https://bit.ly/2IbpLrX In this playlist, we have included some of the most tricky questions and interesting challenges! Do you enjoy watching street interviews and listening to different opinions? This playlist by HumanMeter contains most hilarious challenges and street interviews in the Philippines... Do you want to see a tongue twister challenge? Would you rather be poor but happy or rich but sad? Save this playlist and try to answer these tricky questions yourself. Social Experiments | HumanMeter - https://bit.ly/2IxrN9a Do you like challenging yourself? If so, this playlist by HumanMeter is worth having a look at. Are you interesting in watching social experiments and seeing how individuals react to different life situations? In this playlist, you can find a Try Not To Get Scared Challenge, Spicy Noodle Challenge, Chubby Bunny Challenge. How would you react to these challenges? Watch the exceptional Javen Tries Everything video on Philippines Street Performers. Would you be able to do the same as him? Save this playlist full of street videos and get all of the answers! __ Connect with HumanMeter Online! HumanMeter - Special social project of Kami.com.gh. Social experiments, pranks in the streets of the Philippines to test the society, to see how people behave in non-standard situations. ___ More interesting links: KAMI: https://kami.com.ph/ KAMI on Facebook: https://ift.tt/2uPMjdR KAMI on Twitter: https://twitter.com/kaminewsph Subscribe to KAMI channel : https://goo.gl/3uTGV9 #HumanMeter#
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Showbiz Kami: Mariel Padlla Shows Newborn, Kris Aquino Shuts Down Critics And More | HumanMeter
Showbiz Kami: Mariel Padlla Shows Newborn, Kris Aquino Shuts Down Critics And More | HumanMeter Showbiz Kami: Mariel Padlla Shows Newborn, Kris Aquino Shuts Down Critics And More | HumanMeter Subscribe to HumanMeter channel on Youtube: https://goo.gl/JooLri __ Public Prank Videos | HumanMeter - https://bit.ly/2wCAWJc In this playlist, we have included the funniest videos that will definitely put a smile on your face. Do you want to have a good laugh? Check out the dance prank video filmed in the Philippines Do you like comedy movies and TV shows? Watch the special public prank on singing and dancing in Public. Are you interested hearing people’s opinions on various topics? Click and view the street interview. Do you agree with their opinion? Save the playlist to have a good laugh. Filipino Humans | Human Meter - https://bit.ly/2wrYBvA Do you want to stay on top with all of the latest social problems and hear people’s life stories? If your answer is “yes”, then this playlist in exactly What you need! It is full of amazing stories of people in the Philippines that will leave you in shook. Want to find out how a lady manages to live with more than 50 cats in her home? Or, how to be a great single mom? Save this playlist by HumanMeter and get all of the answers! Tricky Questions | HumanMeter - https://bit.ly/2IbpLrX In this playlist, we have included some of the most tricky questions and interesting challenges! Do you enjoy watching street interviews and listening to different opinions? This playlist by HumanMeter contains most hilarious challenges and street interviews in the Philippines... Do you want to see a tongue twister challenge? Would you rather be poor but happy or rich but sad? Save this playlist and try to answer these tricky questions yourself. Social Experiments | HumanMeter - https://bit.ly/2IxrN9a Do you like challenging yourself? If so, this playlist by HumanMeter is worth having a look at. Are you interesting in watching social experiments and seeing how individuals react to different life situations? In this playlist, you can find a Try Not To Get Scared Challenge, Spicy Noodle Challenge, Chubby Bunny Challenge. How would you react to these challenges? Watch the exceptional Javen Tries Everything video on Philippines Street Performers. Would you be able to do the same as him? Save this playlist full of street videos and get all of the answers! __ Connect with HumanMeter Online! HumanMeter - Special social project of Kami.com.gh. Social experiments, pranks in the streets of the Philippines to test the society, to see how people behave in non-standard situations. ___ More interesting links: KAMI: https://kami.com.ph/ KAMI on Facebook: https://ift.tt/2uPMjdR KAMI on Twitter: https://twitter.com/kaminewsph Subscribe to KAMI channel : https://goo.gl/3uTGV9 #HumanMeter#
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Showbiz Kami: Mariel Padlla Shows Newborn, Kris Aquino Shuts Down Critics And More | HumanMeter
Showbiz Kami: Mariel Padlla Shows Newborn, Kris Aquino Shuts Down Critics And More | HumanMeter Showbiz Kami: Mariel Padlla Shows Newborn, Kris Aquino Shuts Down Critics And More | HumanMeter Subscribe to HumanMeter channel on Youtube: https://goo.gl/JooLri __ Public Prank Videos | HumanMeter - https://bit.ly/2wCAWJc In this playlist, we have included the funniest videos that will definitely put a smile on your face. Do you want to have a good laugh? Check out the dance prank video filmed in the Philippines Do you like comedy movies and TV shows? Watch the special public prank on singing and dancing in Public. Are you interested hearing people’s opinions on various topics? Click and view the street interview. Do you agree with their opinion? Save the playlist to have a good laugh. Filipino Humans | Human Meter - https://bit.ly/2wrYBvA Do you want to stay on top with all of the latest social problems and hear people’s life stories? If your answer is “yes”, then this playlist in exactly What you need! It is full of amazing stories of people in the Philippines that will leave you in shook. Want to find out how a lady manages to live with more than 50 cats in her home? Or, how to be a great single mom? Save this playlist by HumanMeter and get all of the answers! Tricky Questions | HumanMeter - https://bit.ly/2IbpLrX In this playlist, we have included some of the most tricky questions and interesting challenges! Do you enjoy watching street interviews and listening to different opinions? This playlist by HumanMeter contains most hilarious challenges and street interviews in the Philippines... Do you want to see a tongue twister challenge? Would you rather be poor but happy or rich but sad? Save this playlist and try to answer these tricky questions yourself. Social Experiments | HumanMeter - https://bit.ly/2IxrN9a Do you like challenging yourself? If so, this playlist by HumanMeter is worth having a look at. Are you interesting in watching social experiments and seeing how individuals react to different life situations? In this playlist, you can find a Try Not To Get Scared Challenge, Spicy Noodle Challenge, Chubby Bunny Challenge. How would you react to these challenges? Watch the exceptional Javen Tries Everything video on Philippines Street Performers. Would you be able to do the same as him? Save this playlist full of street videos and get all of the answers! __ Connect with HumanMeter Online! HumanMeter - Special social project of Kami.com.gh. Social experiments, pranks in the streets of the Philippines to test the society, to see how people behave in non-standard situations. ___ More interesting links: KAMI: https://kami.com.ph/ KAMI on Facebook: https://ift.tt/2uPMjdR KAMI on Twitter: https://twitter.com/kaminewsph Subscribe to KAMI channel : https://goo.gl/3uTGV9 #HumanMeter#
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Ikot-ikot lang
(Originally posted as FB note)
Unahan ko na kayo ng year-end socio-political commentary while we’re inspired by a mix of Madz and Sarah G playlist.
Freedom should not be sacrificed to achieve growth. The President has his milestones— free tuition, improved health support (new legislations signed on newborn assistance, mental health facilities, etc), and his focus on infrastructure (Build 3X); then the return of the Balangiga Bells recently. There was an effort to campaign for an independent foreign policy, at weaning away from the US. But these supposed reforms cannot outweigh the blood sacrifice that comes with it. Many Filipinos died, and majority of them are the poor and vulnerable— alleged small-time drug pushers, indigenous peoples fighting for their ancestral lands and rights, and many more people trying to overcome the big and mighty mining companies overwhelming their communities. Let’s not forget the fishermen discouraged from exploring traditional fishing grounds because Chinese vessels are scaring them away.
Figuratively, we also experienced death. Our constitutionally-guaranteed rights for free speech and expression are often sanctioned when utilised for dissent, and even drowned with government propaganda. The internet and social media were supposed to be bastions of liberty, as scholars claimed; but only half decade after the advent of new comms technology, we saw how it undermined our speech, manipulated political participation, and even threatened the lives of many people. We can’t help but think, is this the hefty price we have to pay for that promised change? I don’t think so. Democracy is not a zero-sum game; true to Sen’s thesis, freedom is development and vice versa. People thrive when they are free. This administration has to fully understand that. Everyone’s been trying to compare us with Singapore or even Hong Kong; and if we’re really intent on doing so, then we’d learn that they have a different history from ours, and that their young people are already waking with a clearer truth that freedom should never be given up just so we can get to our desired growth trajectories or achieve those much coveted economic figures.
Continue to make our public officials accountable by voting conscientiously and voicing out our dissent. 2019 midterm elections are crucial for our democracy; actually every election year should be. We should use this democratic pillar to make poor performing officials accountable by not voting for them; for examining the platforms and track records of aspiring officials; and for constantly reminding ourselves that public office is not an inherited position. One thing clear from the recent debacle on the proposed federal charter is our campaign against political dynasties and how these heavily entrenched political families have damaged our political fabric and stunted local development. Numerous studies have already proved this and it is high time we take a stand against it during the coming elections, and hopefully through a peoples’ initiative (or whatever platform we could advocate for its legislation). Further, we’re also already seeing political opportunists flooding our timelines, our billboards, and our TV screens. Just because they’re the President’s favourite or they sponsored your recent party or event, you owe them the vote— no you don’t. And yes I’m looking at you Bong Go and Francis Tolentino.
Elections are one platform. An equally important tool is dissent. Elie Wiesel cautioned against silence, as it empowers the oppressor. It gives dictators and political opportunists enough tool to take power away from an individual. So speak, criticise, ask questions, and take a stand. In the same manner, continue to learn and read, information as much as speech is a powerful weapon to undermine bad public officials and poor politics. Continue to bang the doors of Bong Revilla to return the millions of pork he stole, also Wanda Teo and the Tulfo brothers on the tourism funds they pocketed; never shade your ballot in favour of the dictator’s daughter Imee Marcos; don’t forget the atrocities of Harry Roque, the Cayetano siblings’ opportunism (Pia on women’s rights when she can’t speak against the President’s rape jokes; Alan Peter’s sheer collusion), and even Sonny Angara’s political indifference (more thoughts on basketball than on legislating a humane tax reform law). Filter through Florin Hilbay’s speeches, or even Kris Aquino’s veiled support for the Dutertes, and push VP Robredo to work more in lifting Filipinos out of the laylayan she campaigned for. This administration needs greater doses of dissent to reflect on how it has further damaged the Filipino society. And yes, it crosses party lines (as if we have legitimate political parties).
Demand better services from our government. It’s a vicious cycle. The government is ineffective, so we look for alternatives to get the basic services we need, government continues to be bad service providers, and we also continue to give that mandate to different organisations that may or may not take advantage of us. NGOs, POs and CSOs are often seen as extensions of service delivery and innovative governance practices; but their altruism and good heart can only go so far. Government still has the larger mandate to supply basic services to Filipinos. And nope, dole-outs should not be the end-all-be-all of service delivery. Use your partnerships with CSOs to be more creative and effective in improving Filipino lives. This is not exclusive to the current administration, the previous ones are also poor service providers.
More so, ineffective service delivery opened a doors for opportunists to take advantage. Political patronage made us suckers for crumbs of public service: “okay na to, kesa wala.” No, we definitely deserve more. You see what happens? Political families justify pork barrel with the guise of helping our the poor through scholarships, health assistance, waiting sheds and other facilities, plastered with their long family names and shiny botox-ed faces. Its their job to provide us these services, we don’t owe anything to them; but look at how they change the narrative into a family business or personal missions. Aside from politicians, it also allowed opportunists like the Tulfos to take charge. Countless of times I listened to their radio program and often, I’ve heard how desperate Filipinos turned to mudslinging and blackmailing over the airwaves to get a piece of justice the government should be guaranteeing them. These continue to weaken our political institutions such as the rule of law, transparency and accountability, and good governance.
Lastly, teaching gives us room to challenge the status quo. Two years into teaching at the university, and we’re still learning a lot from the craft. I intend to learn more and become part of a growing movement of young people committing themselves to the noble vocation of imparting knowledge. Young minds are fertile grounds for revolutionary thinking and better nation-building. During my younger years (wow), I’ve never imagined myself inside the classroom, writing on the whiteboard, and teaching social sciences. I was not a good student. I’ve often drawn and parodied our teachers to the entertainment of my classmates. During college, I could count the number of times our professors came to class and actually gave us a lecture. I’m not even expecting a life-changing one; at the very least they should have come and not presented a powerpoint from two years back (haha char). So I cannot say I was inspired to enter such a profession. Much of what I knew I owed to our debate society, to a number of professors who actually taught us (3 to 4 I remember), and then MA. But I’d like to think that these same thoughts spurred me to work for a better educational system, hence the continued advocacy on education in general; and then recently to be a better teacher. I promised that I’d come to class (even if not on time), share reading materials, and be sincerely concerned with the growth of students. I won’t stop them from joining protests or social movements, or from learning from the experts, and asking questions. I’d like them to learn that studying needs not just intelligence and excellence, but more importantly integrity. Learning comes from relentlessly pushing the boundaries of the mind and the classroom, challenging our long-held beliefs, and re-shaping them into perspectives that reflect our humanity and commitment to a better society. We’d continue to read and weigh the choices we make, that our emotions should not get the better of us; anger may spur us, but careful thought and sobriety are also significant ingredients to sustainable action. Teaching allowed me to impart knowledge; but more importantly, it challenged me to continue learning. The previous thoughts I made are observations; but they’re also a product of reading and listening to what my students are saying. I’d observed that student movements are often more successful in revolutions; and so maybe, we’d need to be students once more.
Thoughts are welcome. Bashing also. Para naman maramdaman kong sumisikat ako kahit papano. Hahahaha! Maligayang Pasko!
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The Article I Could Have Written Seriously but I’m Rolling my Eyes Too Much
A week ago, my Dad turned on the television to watch the news. I sat beside him to watch another episode of the most preposterous teleserye I’ve ever seen: Filipino Politics. The episode that day featured the President of the Republic of the Philippines, the Commander in Chief of the Armed Forces of the Philippines and His Excellency, Rodrigo Duterte kissing a married woman in an event in South Korea. The episode #SuperConsensualKiss trended everywhere. Everyone has an opinion about it. According to His Excellency, they enjoyed it. According to the Palace, it was part of Filipino culture. Millennials called him a pig, the act an embarrassment. An international publication labelled it misogynistic.
The next scenes unfolded like a train wreck. Mocha Uson, initially a minor character that somehow became one of the leading ladies in this teleserye posted a video of Sen. Benigno Aguino Jr. in an airplane being kissed by two women right before he was assassinated! Talk about an unforgettable flight. It was so unforgettable Mocha Uson thought she could use this as an analogy to defend her benefactor.
The ratings after this skyrocketed because while Uson might be a leading lady in that “palace”, the Queen of Social Media, the most trusted advertiser of all the big company labels you can think of and most importantly, the daughter of the late Sen. Aquino was offended. Kris Aquino is not afraid to voice out her opinion especially when it concerns her late parents. She has the confidence and the courage of a lifetime spent under the spotlight. A facebook live video, an Instagram post and a series of tweets followed where she expressed how hurt she was as a daughter. It could have been anyone, but hello, this was the Kris Aquino’s father.
“I can stand alone” Kris declared. Visually speaking, she did. I mean, there’s no one else in that scene but in reality, there’s millions behind her--her fans, her family, her colleagues…with their fans. While I’m not really a big fan of her character, I have to admit that scene was powerful. In more ways than one. This is what courage with influence looks like. I tried to imagine what it would be like if the voices of the impoverished jeepney drivers, the families of the EJKs or the fishermen near Scarborough Shoal were as loud and as confident as her voice. Regrettably, she’s standing on a pedestal these other characters are not privileged enough to afford.
I’m holding my popcorn in my seat, waiting patiently for the next episode. Besides the whole Kris-Mocha fiasco, three priests died in the past six months for reasons that are not yet known. Are their deaths connected? If yes, what was the motive of the killers? Is the presence of the Chinese ambassador in the celebration of the Independence Day in Cavite a clever foreshadowing of the writers? Can we appreciate the cinematography of that scene where VP Leni Robredo stood under the rain with her right palm over her chest on Independence Day (Will she still be called VP in the next season)? Wait, what happened to the fishermen whose catch was taken by the Chinese coastguards in the last episode? I wonder if their family is doing just fine and if Roque can sleep well at night. Meanwhile, it’s still Martial Law in Mindanao.
This teleserye is riveting but so…heartbreaking. It reminds me of the place where I was born. I have so many questions. Too bad, I can only watch and wait. I mean…right? That’s the only thing I can do?
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Unpopular opinion: Kris Aquino doesn’t deserve all the shit thrown at her. Don’t @ me.
‘Di tulad ng iba kong rant/ opinion posts, maiksi lang ‘to, sapagkat, ano bang puwede sabihin dito? Ang simple lang mga ka-walang good morning text.
Yes, she’s super extra and privileged. And yes, her voice is so annoying?? Lastly, yes, she is so meme worthy; she’s the tita of all titas -- tita final boss. But beyond all of this there is no going around the fact that she’s a great mother. ‘Pag nakikita ko sila Bimby at Josh sa mga video niya, nakaka-humble lang because she’s just like any loving mother na gagawin ang lahat to provide for her kids and more. Ikaw ba kung nanay ka, ‘di ba’t gagawin mo ang lahat para lamang makapagbigay ng lahat sa anak mo? By lahat I mean LAHAT. She may be extra, but she’s extra loving to her kids.
May isang video, alam ko yung NBS shopping video nila ni bimb, na tinanong ni Tita Krissy kung blessed ba raw si Bimb na homeschooled siya. A lot of the reactions of the viewers revolved around how Kris shouldn’t be homeschooling him and that kaya raw lumalabas ng ganoon yung mga anak niya. First of all, BITCH. Second of all, anong “ganoon?” You fuck me up, mumsh. Her kids are the way they should be and Kris homeschooling them just protects that. Bimby replies then to tita that yes, he feels blessed because now he doesn’t get bullied anymore. A+ PARENTING RYT DER. She’s a great mom AND YOU KNOW IT BIMBS.
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Bagong show ni Kris Aquino sa GMA, tuloy na tuloy na
TILA tuluy-tuloy na ang bagong show ni Kris Aquino sa GMA. Yes, blocktimer ang producer ng show ni Tetay na pinamagatang “Trip ni Kris” which I find very interesting lalo pa’t familiar ako sa mga places na pinuntahan niya to do some stories. Kris Aquino Kris Aquino at Minalongao Cave Nand’yan...
Continue Reading... http://www.pinoyparazzi.com/bagong-show-ni-kris-aquino-sa-gma-tuloy-na-tuloy-na/
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