#And yeah I'm at like 50k words
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thirtysomethingloser92 · 1 month ago
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100k+ Remy Lebeau/Reader slow burn coming right up I guess...
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reactionimagesdaily · 1 year ago
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quick update
Hola everyone!
Just writing a thing to say I SEE all the messages that've been sent to my inbox and I'll promise I'll get round to them soon! I've been doing National Novel-Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) this year (as well as some job-huntng lolol) and it's taken up a lot of my spare mental energy. Low-key it feels like all I can do to make sure that the queue doesn't run out of submissions xD
Next month I'll get to everyone's image requests - promise! - and also to those 10K celebrations I mentioned a little while ago! (I've been cooking some stuff up behind the scenes for that milestone, don't y'all worry)
And. Yeah that's about it from me. Stay tuned, thank you for your patience, love y'all, adios <3
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schnaf · 8 months ago
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forcebookish · 3 months ago
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accountability post!!!!!!!!!! (in no particular order)
write 300+ words (that's how much i wrote yesterday and it's a much more realistic goal than 500 or 1000 given what i'm working on and i always like a goal where i am more likely to overperform than underperform lol)
edit #18 whumptober gifs (typo) ✅
make arcarm gifs ✅️
make phoomvicha gifs ✅️
make #19 whumptober gifs ✅️
answer asks ✅️
let's goooooooooooo
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separatist-apologist · 1 year ago
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omg mb are we gonna see an astarion fic from you
YEAH YOU ARE
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aelaer · 1 year ago
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Do you happen to know of any good fics about Donna's death as told in the MCU? Thanks!
I'm sorry I didn't get to this sooner. I wanted to find a fic to actually recommend you, but the truth is that I have done very little reading after MoM and I cannot think of any fics that weren't flashbacks or different from the MCU because they were written pre-MoM. So I'm sadly throwing in the towel on this one.
Those following me, feel free to take this ask yourself if you have some recs.
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bejeweledmp3 · 10 months ago
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computer how do i stop feeling insecure on my writting so that can i write. computer please
#talking tag;#ok so. story time sure why not#today is my first day of uni and i had classes from 8.30 am to 11:45 which was. fine i was exhasuted but it was fine#and then i had to wait to meet some friends for lunch and i started writting and it just hit me that totp is actually over 50k words#and it's like brooooo i literally wrote a novel length fic (that's still not done btw! not close!) and for whattt who even has the time#to read something like that like why bother. it's not even (directly) about the main characters and i just#i'm afraid that i'm repeating myself i'm afraid that chracters are not being developed like i hoped they would i'm afraid that no one will#care and i'm also afraid that the people that do care won't like it#and then i met with my friends who study cinema and they bumped into people from their classes and i was just.#there listening to their conversations without interacting like what the FUCKKK am i doing here pretending that i fit in with the cool#cretive people and that my prose is any good at all#just. 50 thousand words of fanfiction and i'm worried that none of them are any good#but lately my motto is that i will figure it out so. i will figure it out#i did cry about it (lmao) which i'm counting as progress from the empty nothingness i felt around this time of year a year ago#but yeah man it sucks. totp is my baby but (just like kim lmao) my default is being hard on myself. i just can't not be#i think i'll write on my diary about this and then!!! we move on. oh well#i will finish totp that's a promise but yeah. today just hasn't been great i guess#and i have no one in my life to talk to about this so!!!!!! shouting into the void i guess
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sinking-into-mist · 1 year ago
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Happy Halloween to everyone who celebrates! 🎃
And good luck with NaNoWriMo to everyone who's going to participate! 🖋
Anyone doing NaNo feel free to message me! I might need an emotional support group to get through November, because it hasn't even started yet and I already kinda want to quit 🙈😂
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ranger-kellyn · 1 year ago
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in a race against my meds to type this out and make it halfway coherent, BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I finally had a breakthrough with my fic, Getaway Car. Ever since I posed the last chapter [CH 10 In which Getaway Car is sent to print] I've felt utterly disappointed in myself. I feel like I gave in to the idea that I needed to wrap the fic up, because I'm being too much and it's too long to the point where nobody is going to want to read this nightmare fic. While I'm still ultimately fine with the chapter itself, I've been stuck with this feeling like there should have been more leading up to that chapter. Like. Something was distinctly missing. The thing being the filming of the "fade to black" section of the script, something that someone even noted in a comment after I had posted the original Ch 10.
A month or so ago, I came to the conclusion that my biggest problem with Getaway Car was that I stopped writing for myself, and that the original ending I had planned was no longer suiting the story I wanted to tell.
Since then, I've been thinking a lot about how I actually want the story to go. What would the most self-indulgent ending to this story be if I allowed myself?
From there, I've come to the idea that I'm going to basically...move what is now Chapter 10 to be Chapter 11, go back and write a chapter for the filming of the fade to black, maybe revise a bit of what becomes ch 11, and then continue on from there.
I started a brand new outline last week, and I think I'm finally in the genuine home-stretch with this story. I won't change anything on AO3 or FFN until I have things written, but...idk. I'm really hoping to have this all wrapped up by like...February, since that's the current swiftie clown theory (affectionate) of when Taylor's going to announce reuptation TV, and look. I will keep my word about finishing this story before Getaway Car TV is released (ง'̀v‘́)ง
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smallhatlogan · 1 year ago
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a lot of the first draft writing advice is like "how to not waste a lot of time on stuff you'll delete or drastically change" but you know, maybe I want to "waste" time. Maybe I can really polish up chapters and add a lot of details that I contradict or completely fuck up later on because it's easier for me to care about what I'm writing when I'm actually thinking really hard about it
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foxmulderautism · 1 year ago
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that post i made on my writeblr about how there's this one story i have out with a mag that i want rejected because i have a story i think suits the mag better.....live cam footage of me receiving the rejection email on my rainy evening walk
#IT WAS A HIGH TIER REJECTION TOO LOL LIKE YEAH IVE GOT MORE TO SEND YOUR WAY!#like yes release me from these chains!#also another thing is this story was first drafted in june and i kinda want to...not shelve but put the stories from pre like#september on the top shelf...not putting them away entirely but putting them high up#not because i think they're bad i actually love that story in particular and think it has some rly good lines#its just that was a rly fragile era in my life LOL. i want to revisit them in like a year minimum#i didnt draft any flash in july and one i think ? in august that kinda felt like#the last story of that era IDK IF THAT MAKES SENSE those stories just have#a distinct vibe to my approach that i dont see in 1970s leather daddy and between us girls#which are september and october#anyway this has actually presented a conundrum bc the story i want to submit needs more work#but i'm very intentionally doing nano as a break from 'professional' writing so no flash in nov#so anything i submit will prob be in december not the end of this month but thinking about flash in general has me like#i have a lot more story ideas than i thought so maybe it'd be beneficial to just fast draft/edit all of them#let them simmer throughout november in a word doc rather than just let the ideas rot in my brain#but that'll probably mean not finishing the lb chapter/update but also tbh...maybe ill just do that on the side in nov#i think if i do a rough draft of the lb chapter i can tinker with it/write up abt it during nov when i need a nano break#i did say just no professional stuff in nov so if the lover boy autism calls i will answer LOL#im doing the nano 50k goal for WS but not as high stakes as last year. honestly just 50k over any projects will be cool#also i got hit by an opening line on my walk too so now i have another flash idea i have to investigate
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ace-malarky · 1 year ago
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At the least catch up on my DnD sessions - I have two main campaign and two oneshots to go
At the most... clear out some of the half written shorts that are in my "in progress" folder
What are your plans for NaNoWriMo?
Reblog this and let us all know so we can cheer you on!
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Worm Fugue is the funniest phenomenon I've seen in any fandom. Like every time someone offhandedly goes "yeah I read worm super fast, took me like a week somehow" twenty other people will emerge from the woodworks to talk about how they read worm in three days, six days, ten days, just an assortment of timespans in which it's fully unreasonable to read that many words. Worm has a secret Master power that compels you to keep reading and keep reading and keep reading no matter what, although I'm kinda curious how many people actually experience the Worm Fugue so uhhh behold a poll.
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collegetennisoriginstory · 1 year ago
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CT:OS Update 7—PUBLIC RELEASE
The public release of Update 7, pt. 1 is out!!
Wordcount: roughly +50k words, 13k words in a single playthrough)
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Can't wait for you guys to read it, and as always, looking forward to your messages <3 I'd like to give a shout-out to all my ko-fi supporters and beta-testers too, as well as everyone who's sent me some cute / hilarious message—y'all are so dope.
P.S. I am so sorry to those of you who were avidly refreshing, I know I'm a little late, but my excuse is I went to my girlfriend's art show opening today! :) Twas hella cool, but yeah, do accept my apologies!
(And yes, there are three possible kisses this chapter. The only person you can't make out with is Sam, but I promise that'll happen in Pt. 2).
Features
Have dinner with Tobin at their house, though you might have a… tough conversation after [things might get saucy!] (achievement up for grabs)
Bump into Rayyan in the tennis courts at night, vent some frustrations, and potentially resolve some… issues! [locker room pt. 2, rebranded slightly] (achievement up for grabs)
Convince the coaches to let you swap doubles partners (or stick with your original one)—find out if Tobin or Rayyan will be your partner for the season!
Study sesh with G at the Haynes student lounge before the match on Friday, voice some of your niggling worries [or… redefine the meaning of… ‘studying’] (achievement up for grabs)
Bonus Rayyan, Sam, and Tobin POV scenes
Ko-fi tip jar
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steddieas-shegoes · 1 year ago
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Drabble idea for the ask thing: Steve works at a tattoo shop and Eddie works at a flower shop, they both get odd looks when they tell people about their job. Bonus: Eddie gets a tattoo of a flower from Steve and that's how they meet.
This is like if you took call me sunshine, send me to space and made it cuter with a flower shop and made Steve the tattoo artist instead. I'm just gonna write the bonus scene because that's a lot to keep 500 words or less and we all know how I go on 😂 Don't @ me over the super sappy ending, someone with spoons please write another 50k of this.
🌷🌼🌻🌷🌼🌻🌷🌼🌻
"You want a wildflower bouquet in the space of your full sleeve?" Steve stared at the fully tattooed man over his glasses, brows raised in disbelief. "I'm not one to judge tattoo choices but you seem to know what you're doing and I'm a bit confused as to how that fits with...anything else on your arm."
Steve had definitely done some wild tattoos. He was actively part of so many bad decisions made by people who would live to regret getting their girlfriend's name on their neck or the face of their best friend on their thigh.
But this one was different in that this guy had clearly meticulously planned out every tattoo on his body, and that was a lot of tattoos, and now he wanted to add...wildflowers. In between skulls and guitars and some metal band logo. Right.
"Yeah and if it's a problem, I can go somewhere else, man. I just heard a lot of good things about you and my flower shop is two doors down, so-"
"Wait. You're Eddie? You're the guy who owns the flower shop." Steve perked up, face relaxing more into a smile.
"The one and only. You been by?" Eddie didn't remember actually seeing Steve before.
He'd been shocked to walk in and see a barely tattooed Steve sitting behind the counter. Assuming he was the secretary, he'd said he was here for an appointment with the guy in charge, and Steve smiled and explained who he was.
"I haven't. But someone brought me a bouquet you made when I first opened and it was beautiful. Managed to keep it alive and thriving for almost two weeks, which is a record for me, and then someone said it was because of the way you take care of them before they're sold and the minerals you use in the water and I'm turning into Robin. Jesus."
Eddie was endeared.
Steve was looking down at his tablet in front of him, a barely visible sketch on it.
"Is that what you've come up with?" Eddie asked as he leaned over the counter to get a closer look.
They could talk about his love of the bouquet Eddie made later.
"Yeah, but. Now that I'm looking at you...I'm not sure it's right," Steve sighed, closing the app and looking back up at Eddie. "I can redesign at no charge and set up another consultation."
"Can I see?"
"Sure."
Steve pulled his tablet out and opened the picture back up.
It was beautiful, actually resembled a bouquet Eddie had done not long ago for his friend Jonathan.
"It's perfect. Can it be done in one long sitting or do we need to break it up?" Eddie smiled at Steve, pulling up the calendar on his phone to make an appointment.
"Uh. Well." Steve cleared his throat. "I guess you could probably handle the pain so all in one is fine with me? It's probably gonna be six hours with breaks every hour. Are you sure this is what you want?"
Eddie looked at the tablet again, tilting his head as he thought back to when he'd made this bouquet.
"Do you know Jonathan Byers?" Eddie asked, not looking away from the picture.
His eyes focused on the coneflower that he'd only been able to use in one bouquet before his part time employee found out they were allergic.
"Yeah...why?"
"He got you that bouquet, right?"
Steve nodded.
Eddie didn't really believe in fate or destiny or whatever type of miracle people tended to wish for. He also didn't believe in soulmates or the perfect partner.
But wildflowers grow anywhere, and sometimes love can too.
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queers-gambit · 1 year ago
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Affirmation King
prompt: ( requested ) attending university as a full-time student is hard, but your boyfriend makes some of the stress worth it.
fandom masterlist: FX's The Bear
word count: 3.1k+
note: author gives unsolicited advice in the form of sharing a citation website to make college essays a little easier! this is not meant as promotion or anything, it's just your author trying to share a resource they know of.
warnings: cursing, small hurt large comfort (reader snaps a little at Carmy but he handles it like a fucking pro), author gives unsolicited college advice in the form of a recommended website, reader is in a masters program and not undergrad, fluff.
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The 16 inch screen glared into your retinas, fingers feeling numb from the hours pounding away at the loose keyboard. When the screen started to warble and darken, your head ducked down slightly to try and preserve your visual; glaring up at the offender when they pressed the screen closed after forcing you to retract your hands.
"You're cute and all, but not so cute as to interrupt me like that," you deadpanned, eyes wide and burning from your lack of lubrication via blinking.
"You've been sat here for hours, it's time for a break."
"Funny when I say that to you, it's always, 'Get outta my kitchen.'"
Carmy smirked, "Come eat something."
"Let me finish this essay and - "
"No, it's time for a meal."
You felt your irritation spike, narrowing your eyes slightly, "I'm on a deadline, Carmen, so either be fucking helpful and productive or get the fuck out of my space. I've got work to do and you're just slowing me down."
He offered a patient look, asking, "Is that what you really wanted to say?"
You paused, then shook your head, "No... May I try again?"
"Of course," he nodded.
"I appreciate you trying to... Alleviate some of my stress," you spoke slowly, stringing the sentence together in realtime, "but this project isn't something I can ignore right now, so, I'd like to finish this thing before we do whatever else."
"Better," he teased, knowing you ran a short fuse when stressed out and overworked. "What's got you riled up?"
"I have this 20-page paper due."
"20 pages!?"
"It's not that bad, honestly, once you have your thesis together," you chuckled dryly. "it's just time consuming and meticulous."
He frowned and stepped forward to press a kiss to your forehead, mocking in a sarcastic tone, "You're doing amazing, sweetie."
"I'm so tired," you pouted up at him. "Do I really need this degree? This is so much stress for such a little thing such as a piece of paper that cost me $50k just to say I'm allowed to join the work force."
"Hey, hey," he laughed. "Just remember what you're working towards. You're one assignment closer to your internship turning into a full-time gig, right?"
You nodded, "You're right. I want that job so bad... I just hate how busy I feel - it's like, how can I remember to eat let alone write 6 different response posts to my classmate's work?"
Carmy nodded with empathy, "Just remember that end goal, baby. Keep grinding, keep moving. Almost at the finish line, right?"
"Right," you nodded with a smile. "Thank you, angel face."
Carmy smiled at you before softly asking, "Want me to bring you anything? Something to eat, drink, a condom?"
"Stop quoting Mean Girls at me!"
His hands shot up in defense, deflecting, "I was just trying to be a gracious host. If the missus wants anything, I'll make sure she has it."
"Pretty sure 'missus' is a term used for wives - " His groan made you laugh lightly, then covering, "No, thank you, baby, I'm okay. I should only be about another hour or so...?"
"All right, yeah, sure. I'll start dinner in 30, okay?"
"Sure," you smiled, already distracted again as you lifted your screen again to stare at the Word document that had been haunting your hard-drive for about 3 weeks now.
"Hey," he interrupted, "don't forget your glasses."
"Thank you," you mumbled, reaching for the special, blue-light filtering glasses Carmy had gifted you when you first started your Master's program. He claimed staring at a computer screen was going to cause long-term damage (he read an article) and got you a pair, which, you had to admit, made a huge difference.
Your hair was raked into a new bun as you reread the last of your essay, trying to get back in the academic mindset in order to finish the last bit of your assignment. There were textbooks spewed around your work table; laptop plugged in, highlighters and pens and notebooks within reach and a nearly-finished bottle of water was set to the side. You wrote ferociously once you got back on the right mental track, feeling your headache stir to life as you blindly reached for your water bottle.
However, when you picked it up, you blinked in mild shock when the bottle was heavier than before. Glancing over, you realized Carmy had replaced the bottle because there, under where it had sat, he left you a handwritten note:
replenish what you lost from crying!
You chuckled, knowing you were a stress cryer and when tackling big assignments like this, you were ten times as stressed as usual. Still you worked, even putting your headphones on to play soothing background noise - like rainfall. Your neck cramped, back ached, temples throbbed, and hands were cramping. Still you worked, using sticky notes to flag the important quotes you wanted to use from your textbooks and notebooks. Your stomach growled, your eyes begged for reprieve, chest felt tight, and shoulders were too tense.
Still. You. Worked.
Deadlines were important to you, and while you were a professional procrastinator, you always turned everything in on time - no matter your mental state. You could smell whatever Carmy had started cooking, focused on writing as you only used spellcheck as you went - and still you worked. You knew you surpassed the hour limit you told Carmy, but you couldn't stop, you were so close to finishing, it almost put tears back in your eyes, but this time out of relief. You only paused to look at online sources and apply chapstick, cracking your tightly-wound knuckles, and when you finished the last body paragraph of the essay, grinned to yourself.
All that was left was your conclusion, to create a bibliography, and to edit - but you were almost home free!
Suddenly, you jumped in fright when a hand planted on your shoulder; whipping around to see your boyfriend's own startled expression. "Sorry," Carmy apologized with a wince when you removed your headphones, "didn't mean to scare you, just wanted to check on you."
You nodded, 'Yeah, no, I'm almost done. Like give me 20 minutes, almost done-almost done."
He smiled softly, "Dinner's ready when you are."
"I'll be there soon, thank you, angel face."
"Can I help with anything?"
"Uh," you cocked your head, "you know what? Maaaaybe..."
"Really?" He grinned, perking up. "You never let me help!"
"It's not really work, per se," you amended, "but would you mind letting me read this out loud to you - see if it makes sense? The mark of a good writer is to act as if the audience knows nothing about the subject and make them understand, and you're exactly that."
"Lemme hear it," he nodded, taking a seat, "I might not be much help but I can still try."
You agreed and finished typing the outline of your conclusion, then scrolled to the top of your word document, and explained to him what your class was before starting to read. He listened intently, sitting on a spare stool with his elbows resting on his knees; keeping him leaned forward to provide his undivided attention. You managed to reword a few sentences, only noticing they didn't make sense when you read them out loud. Once or twice, Carmy even offered an alternative phrasing you liked - making the changes and rereading, then continuing through your assignment.
By the end, you were able to beef up the conclusion and Carmy was grinning at you in pride. "That's real good, baby," he complimented, "it all made sense and rolled nice together. I think that has to be an 'A'-worthy paper."
"You should be the one grading theses, my professor's the worst," you frowned. "It's why I got so in my head, I got a fucking 76 on my last essay and need to do really well on the next few to help average my grade."
"What about the tests?"
"We don't have any, this class is all about writing material and turning it in," you pouted.
"Hey," he spoke seriously, making you look at him in question, "I'm really proud of you."
You giggled nervously, "Oh, yeah? Why? What for?"
"For doing this," he nodded to the desk. "Look at all you're doing, baby, there's no way I'd ever be able to keep up with this kinda shit. You're doing such a great fucking job - I want you to remember that. What you're doing ain't easy, but you're handling this like a pro."
"I cry, like, everyday..."
"So what? You still get shit done while emoting - call that multitasking, baby."
"Got me there."
"Seriously, though, you're not told enough what a fantastic job you're doing; how strong and resilient you have to be to deal with this kind of stress day-in and day-out. I see the hard work you put in," he promised, "and I want you to know how fucking proud I am of you. It's all gonna be worth it one day, but until then, I love watching you grind through school. I might not take the classes with you, but I'll help however I can, whenever I can."
"Thank you," you whispered. "It's really nice to hear... I feel myself burning out and it's nice to be reminded that what I do now will influence my future. Validates me in feeling stressed out, you know? Sometimes, I feel silly 'cause, like, there's so many bigger things to be upset about and here I am, stressed out at a place that's guaranteed to stress me out..."
"It's not silly, it's normal. College ain't easy," he reminded, "and you're just trying to keep yourself afloat."
"Yeah, but there's bigger things in life than something trivial as my education."
Carmy scoffed at you, shaking his head, "Ain't no way."
"What?"
"My girl just said her feelings are trivial... Nah, she said her emotions about her education is trivial," he shook his head again. "Should wash your mouth out with soap - talkin' crazy like that. Baby, you know, first and foremost, your education is high on our priorities list, but your emotions? You think they're trivial? Nah, if anything causes you to have any emotion, it's valid - it's not something silly or redundant."
You pouted slightly, "You always know what to say."
"Hungry?"
"You're the perfect man," you laughed, looking at your document again and humming. "Okay, so, lemme just cite my sources and turn this in."
"Then you wanna have date night?" He smirked.
"No, no, I'm so tired - "
"I meant we can stay in."
"Oh, then count me in!"
"Change into something cozy when you're done, we can watch a movie with dinner. Yeah?"
You agreed, accepted his kiss of encouragement, and then took his leave to reheat the dinner that had surely cooled off. It didn't take long to cite everything when you used an online citation source website - that IS N O T plagiarizing! It's a handy-dandy tool you discovered your undergraduate freshman year by an actual professor. It was as simple as choosing which style, APA or MLA, and then to either paste the URL of the website you need sourced or you type in the book's information. Hit the generate button and BAM! A perfect citation for your bibliography every single time.
Or if you didn't like that, you could always just Google citation examples and do your best to write it out yourself. But the website, Citation Machine dot net, was a great tool. After perfecting your in-text citations and saving your work, you uploaded it to your university's assignment portal, crossed the essay off your to-do list, and stretched on your feet.
Cleaning up your space minimally, you hustled to your bedroom to get a quick hot, relieving shower, change, and then met Carmy in the kitchen. "Hey," you sighed with a soft smile.
"Hey, doll. All done?"
"For tonight," you groaned, "but tomorrow's a new day with new assignments."
"That's a future problem we'll handle at a later time," he eased, showing you your dinner plate. "Ta-daaaa!"
You grinned, "Oh, baby, this looks amazing!"
"Yeah, well, I kinda figured as a full-time student right now, nobody was gonna remind you what incredible job you're doing, so, I'm more than happy to step up to the plate. And what better treat than your favorite meal, huh?"
"Thank you," you whispered, pecking his lips.
You often thought his love language was "food", but then you realized it was technically under the acts of service and quality time. He loved cooking for you - it was like a gift. He loved cooking with you - it was time spent bonding. He loved introducing you to new dishes - it's a present! He loved when you let him give you a culinary lesson - it was time well spent.
"C'mon," Carmy lead you to the living room, both crashing on the couch you had been gifted from your grandmother's house when she was put in a nursing home. Normally, you wouldn't have splurged on something like this, but considering it was free, you and Carmy were happy to use it. Settling together on the couch, you got cozy under a shared blanket and Carmy flicked some movie on for background noise, but instead of watching, he just asked you about your coursework.
You told him what you could, shaking your head and huffing about how annoying your program was. How hectic. How jam packed and fast-paced it all seemed to be. How your head felt like it was spinning. How you couldn't nail down workable coping mechanisms and just felt totally out of control. You were spiraling.
You needed this rant session.
Carmy listened intently.
He never once tried to say, "oh, but if you had time management," or anything like, "if you do THIS instead..." or some bullshit, "my way works better." His bright and wide blue eyes watched you the entire time, sighing when you got to the end of your meal and vent session.
"It just feels like, I turn in one assignment, I get three more right after. Turn in those three, and all of a sudden, there's another 10!"
"Does the syllabus say anything about that?" He wondered.
"No, it just said what our reading schedules were and when major assignments are due. But those dates all got shuffled around that it feels like a train wreck. You know, if the original schedule was kept from the syllabus, I wouldn't feel so worked up! It's the rearrangement and added assignments without warning that's throwing me off."
"That doesn't sound easy," he validated. "Anything I can do to help?"
"No, you're doing more than enough," you whispered, pecking his lips. "Thank you for dinner."
"I made dessert, too."
"No!" You gasped with a grin.
"Mhm - wait here. I'll grab it."
"Wow, dinner, movie, and dessert?" You teased, "I'm being spoiled tonight."
"You've been working your ass off for weeks now," he smirked, standing from his seat to pick up your plates, "this is the least I could do. I know I said it, but you know how good a job you're doing, right? Damn, baby," he chuckled, "ain't no way I could ever handle shit like that on the regular."
"I could't do what you do, either."
"We all balance our crazy different. Want some tea? Wine?"
"Tea would be great."
"Comin' up."
When Carmy returned, you pulled the blanket back to let him sit again with the dessert plate between you both; two steaming mugs of tea sat on the coffee table. "What's this?" You wondered, seeing a sort of pastry.
"Marcus told me 'bout this," he chuckled. "Kinda like a poor man's version of this one thing he makes. So, look, it's Pillsbury Crescent Rolls, right? In the middle, there's raspberry preserves - or jam if you want that instead. It's baked then drizzled in melted white chocolate."
"Wow, you got all fancy on me," you beamed.
"Hardly, more like I was a little impulsive after hearing your essay. Figured you could use some dessert - you really earned it, baby. You always earn dessert," he grinned, "but tonight, you were kickass. Know that? Hear me?"
You shook your head, "This is nothing compared - "
"Hey, hey, nah," he interrupted, "nah, nah, don't do that, don't try to invalidate or downplay yourself. Look, shit is always hard in college, right? But you handle it so well, I can see the work you're putting in and the little reward you receive in return, and know that shit's gotta add up for you. But my baby just keeps cool, does her work, and does what she can to earn the grades she does. Right?"
"I mean, I try to..."
"You succeed. C'mon, lemme hear you say it. 'I kick college's ass.'"
"I kick college's ass."
"'I work hard.'"
"Carmy - "
"Saaay it!"
You huffed, "I work hard."
"'I'm an incredible hard worker.'"
"I'm an incredible hard worker."
"'I am only human.'"
Another breath in, repeating, "I am only human."
"'I am a success.'"
"I try to be a success."
"That wasn't the quote."
"Well, I don't know if I'm succeeding because grades aren't finalized yet and I have - "
"No, no, no," he smirked again, "you're still successful 'cause you're doing such a kickass job. You could get a fucking 'D' on something, and guess what? You're still successful 'cause you don't let this tear you down, you learn from mistakes and apply whatever lessons you learn to your upcoming assignments. Some people say you might even learn more from losing and failing than from undisputed success. Look, I'll be honest, I thought my job was hectic as shit, but hearing your essay tonight? Goddamn, you're not just beautiful, but so fucking intelligent, too. Baby, I was shook - that sounded like some academic paper that college kids need to defend their thesis or some shit. Something scholarly, not some assignment you gotta hand in by a deadline so you just wrote down whatever. So, give yourself credit and tell yourself you're a success."
With a long, deep breath, you answered earnestly, "I'm a success."
"Good girl," he muttered, handing you a fork finally. However, unlike Mikey all those years ago, you didn't launch your utensil at anyone and used it to cut off a corner of pastry.
You moaned when you tasted the gooey goodness. You managed through a mouthful, "Mmhhh! Mhm! Mhm! If you make this every time I have some assignment pissing me off and stressing me out, I'm afraid I'll get used to this treatment."
Carmy grinned, "You deserve whatever dessert you want, whenever you want. Huh? Yeah? Lemme hear you say it."
With another grin, you mused, "I deserve whatever I want, when I want it... And however I want it!"
"Atta girl!"
"You're so fucking corny," you laughed lightly, feeling as if you were falling in love with him again, "but thank you, my Affirmation King."
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