#And when I look back I'm glad that I got to be part of so many kids lives

[theotherbuckley]

Tommy’s dad dies on a Monday.

He checks his emails on a Wednesday. There’s an email from his aunt. It’s only a few sentences. She was always very succinct and to the point.

His dad is dead.

It was a heart attack.

Bastard didn’t even suffer. 

He stares at his laptop screen until the words start to blur together. For an hour, he just sits there, looking at his computer but not really seeing anything at all. His coffee is long since cold. He never even took a sip. 

His mind feels empty, like there’s this fog that’s settled inside, clouding over his thoughts. He’s stuck. His brain doesn’t know how to process this, and neither does his body.

So he stays frozen. Just staring.

He doesn’t notice the time until he feels large arms wrap around him from behind.

“Tommy?” Evan asks. It doesn’t sound like the first time he’s spoken.

“I—“ The words are stuck in his throat. 

Tommy turns around from his chair, blinking a few times, until he manages to say, “My dad died.”

“Are you okay?”

That’s all it takes for Tommy to break.

He opens his mouth, closes. Shakes his head. 

And he just—

Cries.

Full body-wracking sobs overcome his body as he slumps into Evan’s open arms. He shakes, tears streaming down his cheeks as he burrows his face into his boyfriend’s neck. He’s getting snot and tears all over Evan’s shirt but his boyfriend doesn’t complain, just squeezes him tighter as he continues to be overwhelmed by his emotions.

He doesn’t even know why he’s crying. He just can’t seem to stop. 

He cries and trembles in Evan’s arms until he’s run out of tears left to shed. Evan murmurs sweet nothings into his ear, holding him tight and never letting go. 

“I’ve got you. I'm here,” Evan whispers in his ear. 

He feels like he’s run a marathon by the time he’s calmed down enough to pull back from Evan. His hands shake as he wipes the tears from his eyes, Evan’s own warm hands coming to hold his. 

“I don’t— I don’t even know why I’m cry—crying,” Tommy hiccups. He’s sure he must look a mess, red-faced and covered in tears.

Evan gives me a soft look, a small comforting smile on his face as he presses a kiss to Tommy’s forehead.

“You lost your dad. You’re allowed to cry,” Evan says kindly.

Tommy just shakes his head. “But he wasn’t— he wasn’t good.” He has an awful, vile human who never gave two shits about him. Only cared about him being a man, enlisting, stepping up. He doesn't understand why his chest still aches like his loss matters. It doesn't. It doesn't.

Evan wraps his arms around Tommy. He’s practically sitting on him, but Tommy doesn’t mind. Not when it’s Evan.

“He— He was a big part of your life, Tommy,” Evan says, running his fingers through Tommy’s hair. “And now he’s not. You’re allowed to be upset.”

Tommy just nods, collapsing back into Evan, who rubs gentle circles on his back in comfort, pressing a kiss to his forehead. He lets his boyfriend soothe his pain with his touch. He wishes it didn't hurt in the first place. Still doesn't understand why it does. He hated that piece of shit.

He's glad he's dead.

He hiccups as another tear makes it's way down his cheek. Evan squeezes tighter.

“Is there a funeral?” Evan asks softly.

Tommy almost laughs. “There’s no one who cares enough to give him one. He doesn’t even deserve one.”

“But you do,” Evan says sincerely.

That gets Tommy to look up, eyebrows raised in question.

“You deserve to have the closure,” Evan continues. “It’s a lot better than trying to pretend you’re alright when you're not. Trust me.”

“You lost someone?” Tommy asks. Evan’s never talked about it, but maybe—

“No, no. I just know what it feels like to— to bottle your emotions up when it comes to the people who are supposed to love you.”

“I’ll speak to my aunt about a funeral,” Tommy says. Evan gives him a soft smile and a chaste kiss to his lips before pulling him close again, Tommy wasting no time to burrow into the corner of Buck’s neck, soaking up the comfort of his boyfriend.

“I love you,” he murmurs into his shoulder.

“I love you,” Evan repeats back. 

[goldsbitch]

Hypochondria

part 4 to p1, p2, p3

He can sense her emotions, she feels his pain. Baby steps, that's the only way to go.

author's note: guess who's back - and a promised smut chapter turned into slow burn. any reported typos are appreciated. there will be p5.

"I'm sorry, Lando - this all just so bizarre. I'm barely taking it in. Literally don't understand how you're so calm."

He laughed gently. "Well, I did have few extra days to process. And hearing my name roll of your tongue is distracting enough," he said flirtatiously.

Her cheeks went red and her mind stopped, head getting filled with desire and lust. Lando's lips turned into a wide smile, him feeling her arousal as if she was screaming it loudly to his face.

"Glad to see my words have an effect on you. This is indeed going to be fun..."

Lando was on cloud nine. He was just staring at her as if she was a miracle. Her deep eyes unable to stay away from looking at him and lips that had a silent invitation written on them.

He was high on the way how relaxed she felt, proud that he made her feel like that. It was as if there was no yesterday or tomorrow. Just them and the couch. And after few moments of silence and collecting his bravery, Lando leaned in and kissed her.

It was clear to him from the moment he took her upper lip in that he'd give anything for this moment to take at least a thousand years. She did not hesitate and kissed him back immediately. The sweetest touch a woman can give. Leaned in and let nature do its miracles. He smiled into her lips and pushed himself closer to her, making her sink in the couch.

It was right then when a loud, impatient knock nearly sent them both into shock. Lando froze and back away from Y/N little bit, furious with whomever that dared to disturb a key moment in their lives.

"Lando, I apologize, but we have an urgent matter on our hands."

He rolled his eyes and let a deep breath out, recognizing the voice of his workoholic PR manager. This was not the first and probably the last time he had to tell his team off in the dark of the night. Internet never sleeps.

"Can it really not wait this time until tomorrow?" he said before he gave Y/N shameful and apologetic look. She just kept herself quiet, sunken into the comfy couch.

"I'm afraid we will need some immediate action," came from behind the door after another impatient knock.

Lando got his phone out to check the time, only to see 17 missed calls from several people.

"Ok, I'm coming."

He half opened the door to a very flustered PR manager, who looked like he was about to announce a coming tornado. Lando just raised his eyebrows, encouraging him to spill the beans and then planning on dismissing him.

"Anita released a break up TikTok. It's going viral."

As far as emergencies go, this one felt to Lando like a second-tier one. He was more concerned about the anxiety he felt coming from Y/N. Kind of wished she was kept out of it, for her own good.

"I'm sure we can address this in few hours," Lando replied calmly.

"She accused you of cheating. In a very colorful manner, I must say," the guy continued, as if he was not confident enough to fully explain the situation. "I'm in touch with her publicist, so that we can come up with a joint statement online. Apparently she won't talk to anyone but you."

Lando stayed silent, the only thing he really wanted was to close the door and return to the couch.

"We can't have another cheating scandal. McLaren will get involved," he pleaded once again in hopes of finally convincing Lando.

Deep breath. "Sure. Can I meet you at the lobby or somewhere in few minutes?" Lando caved in. A puzzled look flashed over his PR's manager, because usually Lando preferred to solve his crises in the comfort of his suite. The driver hoped no comment would come his way. After few seconds, the guy finally nodded.

"Understand, sure. I'll see if we can get the conference room."

He closed the door and tried to brace himself for any type of reaction Y/N might have. But deep inside he knew - seen it countless times. She abruptly got up, fixed her clothes, flashed him only one quick look before avoiding his face completely.

"Um, I'm gonna-"

"Yeah," he said, letting her pass by. The reality hit hard. She barely knew him. Somehow, the air got flooded with inescapable loneliness.

//

Y/N tried her best to follow her daily routine the following week. The memory of her running away from Lando's room like a little child chasing her like a nightmare. It was just so humiliating. The guilt, unjustified, was eating her up. She tried to stay away from social media, but her will was not strong enough. Late night scrolling included absorbing lot of Lando hate.

He also did his best to keep himself busy and focus on his job. If it had been any other person, he'd already be chasing Y/N down and try to reason with her, get this experience behind them and keep starting fresh. Perhaps he was lucky, that he knew her and if he's pushed immediately, she'd just hide even more.

He found himself on the track during free practice, constantly stealing glances over to the medical tents, just to get a glimpse of his guilt ridden soulmate. All he wanted to do was shake some sense to her. That evening he finally snapped. No more hiding. He was about to get creative.

So there he was, alone once again in a random hotel room in a city he barely remembered the name of, trying to get a hand of morse code. Something he never thought would be his issue, ever. It was a shot in the dark. Pinch a message into his arm and hoping she'd understand his intention. After all, she felt his pain, so he figured if he was annoying enough, she'd have no choice but to show up. Many curse words were uttered about the absurdity and difficulty of it all, before Lando got a hand of it. He opted to focus on the rhytmn and after he felt confident enough, abandoned tapping into a table and began pinching his left hand.

Let's talk. Room 1014. Please.

Over and over again. It was so incredibly annoying. But, he was going to persevere even if it meant having a bruise tomorrow.

After what felt like like seven thousand years - a knock on the door.

This was it, he thought as he opened the door to another annoyed person. She shot arrows from her eyes and he could not help but smirk. He won, she cracked the code.

"Now, let's get one thing clear. You are not going to use this trick outside of an emergency. Ok?" she opened with, having hard time to admit he won that round. It's been few days since they last locked eyes. She could practically sink in his. He just gave her a small nod, definitely not planning on misusing this ever again. Absolutely not.

"I'm glad you understood," he said and let her walk in. Was he nervous? That was probably the closest thing to describe it.

"I don't know the Morse code, so that made it super fun," she proclaimed and stopped in the middle of the living room, not sitting down on any of the chairs or couches.

"Me neither. But you better learn it, you never know..." he teased and walked dangerously close to her. She kept her gaze down.

She spoke before he could say any more cheeky lines. "So, I'm here. Anything specific you wanted to say that exceeded your ability of speaking in Morse code?" Her coldness hurt. However, he was not going to let her push him away so easily. "Y/N, this is not going to work on me. You can't push me away so easily, so just try and stop it. Please." Big gulp on her part followed by a light nod. "Good. Listen, I don't want to let this fizzle out so easily. It's hard to think about anything else once I've met you. I'm sorry about the whole break up mess. It's not fair to you. But, in my defense, I had no idea I'd just randomly be sat next to...you," he said, practically breathing out the last word.

She began walking frantically. "It's...um, it's a lot. Your world. And then the fact you seem to know things and are so far ahead in this game."

"It's not a game to me, Y/N," he said, watching her pace around the room.

She stopped by the bed and sat on it, finally able to look at him again. "Ok, bad word, but still," she paused and searched for the right words. "We have nothing to connect with...I mean nothing real."

Lando was not going to buy into doubts. His mind was set. Slowly, he walked towards her and sat next to her.

"Does it scare you? That you are tied to me basically against your will?" he asked the one thing he was afraid to hear the answer to. But he figured that the beginning was never suppose to be easy anyway.

"A little bit. Actually yes, it does," she said, in a strangely releaved tone and his heart sank just few stories lower. Lost in his own head, he nearly missed her giving up on sitting and landing on her back with a thud, eyes locked with the ceiling.

"I never liked being pushed into things. It's my life, I get to call the shots," she began to let her thoughts run freely.

"Choosing something that comes to you willingly does not have mean giving up your free will...I'd just like to at least give this a chance. I know already that I can't be your friend," he whispered, turned his look towards her and slowly lowered himself on his back as well, lost in his thoughts once again.

Lando's body laid still, but his heart was beating as if he was in the final quali lap. He had the advantage, drew the better card. Unique insight into another human's soul. Short cuts and few cheat answers for any test ahead of them. So why did it make him feel all the more lonely? He was reaching out, confused in the exact same capacity as she was, but she was not giving him much back. Yet. If was obvious. He was miles ahead of her, not thanks to his own doing. He could be there for her, but it would take some time and a lot of luck for her to be able to be there for her.

"Can you stay here? For the night?" he asked in a soft low voice, unable to hide his own vulnerability. "Not like, you know," he added immediately, hoping he comes off the least creepy as possible, "Just like this." Baby steps. He was praying for just that.

The body next to him also laid still in a very stiff manner, the exact opposite of relaxed. But the pull towards him was just too loud to resist. It was stronger than her. Curiosity tripped over the tiny fear inside her, grabbed the innate desire for human connection by the hand, and together opened the door for Lando to enter.

"Yes," she whispered, wondering if there is anything she wanted to add.

A small smile crept onto Lando's face. He got up and shit the light off. Both of them settled in a more relaxed pose, albeit still fully dressed. If by some miracle he manages to fall asleep, he will be waking up next to this magnificent, magical being for the first time. And hopefully not the last.

They laid next to each other, like the strangers they were, for few minutes, before she found her own little hand reaching out for his. Soft fingers mixed with his. At that moment, you could hear a pin drop. Lando's heart almost stopped, his breath caught in and resulted in gulp, too loud for the current setting. She could not help but smile and tried to hide it with pressing her lips together - even though it was dark night and both of them had their eyes closed. He mimicked her movements and traced her fingers as well. Every little place he touched burned with intoxicating intensity. He held her index finger lightly while she brushed up and down his thumb.

For the first time in years, Lando was careful. He'd rather lie next to her in silence than risking her wanting him to leave. The guilt from bruising her with his crash still hadn't left his mind. But when her hand crept more and more inside of his, he could not help but circle around it, until he was covering her hand completely. The air was still. Two scared souls discovering each other, tiptoeing around as if they were made of glass. Once Lando started drawing little circles on the palm of her hand, he finally felt her beginning to relax. He was still trying to get his mind wrapped around how the whole connection worked. Perhaps the more open she was to communicating with him, the more of a window he got. His next words slipped through without much of a thought.

"I've dreamt about you probably thousand nights."

Y/N could not recall the last time she heard a sentence that sounded so honest. Raw, it was almost childlike. She thought about her own countless nights when she slept alone and longed for a soul to crawl to. And also all those times she wasn't alone in the middle of the night, yet it still felt like eating someone else's dinner. The emptiness never truly filled. Hand never fitting someone else's like a well-fitted glove. Was there ever anyone who told her something like this before? Probably not. Of course not.

"I'm scared," she repeated.

"I know," he smirked for himself only. "I can feel it...But can you please tell me what's scaring you at this moment? I'd love to understand."

This time it was her who chuckled and squeezed his hand a bit. His heart once again beating so loudly he was scared she could hear it.

"I randomly meet this man, this devilisly handsome guy, who seems to know things I've never even told anyone, is hyperaware of my emotions as if they were his own...How am I suppose to resist this?"

"Why would you?"

"If we proceed with this, I am basically allowing you to become a weapon designed to destroy me. If, or more likely when, I fall for you...How can anyone else ever top that? If you decide that you're bored with me, I'll quite literally only be left with bruises."

He listened to every word as if it was a gospel and this time took a second to calculate his response. Lando opened his eyes to try and see a glimpse of her face in the dead of night, only to find her already looking at him.

"As far as I remember, you were always a part of my life. The one constant that does not leave," he said and licked his dry lips. If she was becoming vulnerable, he'd have to do the same. "If I fuck this up, if you decide that I am not worth spending time with and if you walk away...I'll still be left with the glimpses. I'll have to watch from afar, knowing you don't feel this. Funnily enough, you have the option to choose. I don't."

"And do you even want it? Would you-" she tried to continue with her question, but he interrupted her immediately.

"Of course. Hundred times over. I know you're scared, but I am scared too. Because there is a perfect piece of puzzle right in front of me and if I fuck it up, I am ruined for life."

She only saw a small reflection of light in his eyes, but that was enough to understand he was serious. Her shoulders relaxed and she let a breath she didn't know she had been holding, out.

"Well, good to know you are a dramatic person," she responded, trying to lighten up the mood.

It worked, his small smirk entered the chat again. "Yeah well, get use to it," he said with a new found confidence, tried his luck once more and scooted over to her just a little bit.

"Sorry, there was a hard spot in the matrace," he said cheekily and closed his eyes, trying to play it cute.

His body heat radiated towards her. "Of course, a hard spot in this top-of-the-world matrace," she questioned his argument with a smile, his magic getting her head-over-heels.

"Yes, I'll complain with to the staff tomorrow, these things can really fuck up your sleep, you know."

"So true. And what, have you solved it now?" Another door opened. Lando smiled.

"Still not perfect," he remarked, pretended to have a moment to think and finally scooted over and put his arm around her. "Yeah, this is the only way I'm afraid."

She was glad his eyes were closed, because her smile was impossible to hide. Both of them were fully aware there is no hard spot on the matrace. "Of course it is," she commented, as she settled down in his embrace.

Her face was now settled in crook of his neck, her uneven breaths leaving goosebumps on his skin. His light stubble teasing her forehead. Once again, Lando was overwhelmed just how well she fit in his embrace. He had to actively try and breathe regularly, because he was anxious about giving away just how much he was enjoying having her in his embrace. Her hand was pressed against his chest and Y/N had to fight every cell in her body, because the urge to explore his body was overcoming her. Lando shifted a bit, having to to try and find a spot where his belt wasn't pressing on his body in a way that hurt. Immediately, he felt a sudden wave of guilt coming from her and she bolted straight up. Had he fucked it all up? He cursed himself, he should have just pushed through it.

He forgot to take in the fact she felt his pain. "What's wrong?" he asked shyly, as he also sat up to match her moves.

She took a deep breath. "I don't want to seem like I'm suggesting something, but can we get out of our daily clothes? I hate sleeping like that." Who would like that anyway, was the thought that crept into Lando's mind, but he kept it for himself. "Sure, no problem."

"Do you have some t-shirt I could borrow?" she asked, turning on the light next to his bed, sitting with her back turned to him, perhaps trying to hide away. Lando tried his best not to get shaken up and loose his cool. This wasn't her running away and it was also not her suggesting anything.

"Of course," he said and got up to search up the best clean t-shirt her had. She took a deep breath as she tried not to stare, guessing by the sounds that he was getting undressed. But, as she did, she was happy he did not see her blush. Just like he did before, she forgot to take in account that he felt her sudden arousal and curiosity without having to look at her. For a change, he was happy he had his advantage. He peeked over to her, seeing her abrupt turn back. It was hard not to be amused by her.

"Here you go," he said as he strolled back over to her and handed her his t-shirt. "Don't worry, I won't look," he informed her and as the cheeky guy he was deep down, added his signature wink. "I'm sure there is an extra tooth brush in the bathroom, if you wanna join," he continued and walked over to the other side of the suite, hoping she was watching him walk around in boxers only.

Finally having some distance and a minute to contain herself, she carefully undressed, leaving on only her panties and his shirt on. Only then she noticed just how intoxicating his natural smell was. Knowing well enough she was doomed.

When Y/N finally joined him in the bathroom, he gave her the second toothbrush in silence and kept brushing his own teeth. It was refreshing seeing her in such an intimate setting. He tried as best as he could not to notice just how hot she looked in his t-shirt. Watching her in the reflection, he realized he never appreciated a moment like that with anyone else before. He smiled at her, because he could see her shy nature peeking through causing her hair behind her ear.

She was about to join him back in the bed when she saw him placed right in the middle of the bed, far from when was last time she approached him like that.

"It's the hard spot, there is no other way," he brushed over it nonchalantly and tucked himself in the bed. "Come on, here, here," he patted a spot next to him. In the dim light, with shadows only highlighting his toned chest, curly hair falling over to his eyes, innocent smile and opened arms, he was like a mystical creature created only to entrap Y/N. At least, that's how that felt. No way back.

She slipped in the bed with him, to the exact position as they were just minutes ago and turned of the light once again. This time, Lando was way more relaxed even Y/N noticed the difference. With each passing moment it was becoming less and less stiff or awkward. Comfort replacing natural stress of sharing a bed with a stranger for the first time. For a brief second, it was as if they'd done this every night before drifting off to sleep. Lando was happy to take things slow. Not expecting anything more. He was content with knowing she was not planning on leaving him there alone that night and that was enough. Not for Y/N. Her body was acting way before her mind could stop her. Her now warm fingers started drawing little stars on his exposed chest. It was peaceful. Until her finger moved a little lower. Another gulp from Lando. She felt him tightening his grip on her.

"Careful now...I might get the wrong idea," he breathed out for only her to hear.

Their lips were so riddiculously close, yet too far away. The only thing she wanted to do was kiss him. All restraint suddenly gone. But she needed to be sure - did he wanted to kiss her? If she dared to ask him, he'd laugh out loud at the obviousness of it all. Poor guy didn't notice her desire because he spent all of his energy trying to hide his.

She licked her lips. "Wrong idea...like sending me away?"

Loud sigh from Lando. "No..the wrong wrong idea," he whispered, being so close to her she could feel his soft breath, as he started to move his hard up her arm, under the t-shirt he gave her. She became very aware of the fact she was not wearing a bra, something Lando noticed the moment she came to the bathroom. His arm stopped momentarily at her shoulder. " Wrong idea that you want me to do this..." he continued moving his hand again, "...or this," reached up to her collarbone while pressing her closer to him with his other arm. "Or heaven forbid..." he whispered a question as his lips were nearly touching hers. Lando was too scared to make the first move, still afraid she might vanish into thin air.

She was brave enough to close the gap. "Or this." With that, she kissed him.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

@ushygushybaby

[fae-morrigan]

Someone put a post (where they admit they straight up dont know these characters lol, and also spell damian as 'damien' so like. yknow.) in the tags saying that if you're a fan of Jon & Jay, you shouldn't buy super son. Well, as the crowned CEO of Jay & Jon, I'm here to tell you guys that you absolutely should.

Super Son did the amazing thing of hitting several marks that I predicted while still managing to surprise me in how they hit them. Which is high praise for any story: A great narrative should be able to both meet reasonable audience expectations (i.e, staying in character, setup payoff) WHILE STILL throwing in curveballs that tell you something new.

There's a lot I want to analyze and get into, namely how I think the rooftop conversation between Jon & Nia is really brilliantly done in what it says about both characters, but mainly I've been thinking a lot about how great those last few pages were and how I think Sina absolutely nails how Jon & Jay's specific issues interact with each other.

Jay's always been a blunt person. From their first meeting back in SOKE 2, hes said what he thinks, and rarely does he try and soften himself. More than that, his bluntness is often a shield from vulnerability, which Jay struggles with the whole scene. It makes total sense, after what hes experienced (re-traumatization at the hands of a friend) that he's displaying that trait again.

Jon, however, is immediately vulnerable. This is the most poignant confession of the issue: Not even in the amazing sequence of Nia helping him make a place in the darkness (look, its back, thanks isabel!) do we get this admission of fear.

And Jay, like always, embraces him. Sidenote, LOVE how they got in the thing Jon does where he's constantly tucking his face in people's shoulders during hugs.

But the moment ends, and we get here. First of all, cold af. I could feel the aura before I turned the page.

Second of all: Jay is totally valid in feeling this way. And it makes perfect sense that he would.

Sara was his everything. Getting her back was one of his main motivations in SOKE. Because of Nia's actions, she died horribly (do you know what happens to a person when they fall from that sort of height? I do. Its AWFUL.) for an unjust cause. Of course he's glad she can't hurt anyone else!

And that's when we get to my FAVORITE PART! Oh how I love this bit. Because like. You understand why Jon's angry- Its a harsh thing for Jay to say! Nia was the one who kept him sane while he was trapped in his own mind! But Jay, like always, is RIGHT: Jon DOESN'T get it. How could he?

Jon Kent will NEVER, ever, be put in this position. Out of universe, his parents are Clark Kent and Lois Lane. They'll ALWAYS come back. Hell, the fact they'll always come back is something Ma LITERALLY says to Jon in SOKE. He will never, ever have to know this pain.

In universe, Jon's a white american. Despite being queer, despite being an alien, he'll never know what its like to be this kind of collateral, delegated as pawns in a greater war for 'freedom'. That is what killed Sara at the end of the day: imperialism.

This next bit hurts my heart. Great job, guys!

For one: Jon claims he's not excusing the mistakes Nia made, but by downplaying it like this... yes he is. But did you catch that part? Right at the start of that bubble?

"I'm going to fight every day to make up for my own part in this."

That's where it clicked for me. Something I had been hoping for since Nicole first called them twin flames.

He's projecting.

Of COURSE he's defending Nia. Of COURSE he wants Jay to forgive her. It isn't just about the fact that she gave him support, it isn't just the dreams, its the fact that... well. If Jay can't forgive her... how could he EVER forgive HIM?

THIS is where the fact that Jon and Nia are so similar as character SINGS. They become mirrors to each other, evaluating their own self worth through the other, at the unintentional expense of the people they've hurt.

Jay's right, though. Again. Its almost like he's the embodiment of the truth or something. He doesn't HAVE to do anything.

When he starts crying though, I immediately was RUINED. This is the first time we have EVER seen him cry before during his entire existence of a character. And its not really even because his mom is dead (though yes, that) and its not even because of the argument. Its because Jay fundamentally wants to be understood, and he's not getting that.

Which is important for the next bit:

I want to first backtrack a bit to Son of Kal El again, specifically, issue fourteen, right here.

Hello, two-panel sequence that succinctly describes these two as characters. How convenient you are for me, a guy analyzing a work that isn't written prose.

Jon isn't good at letting go, for better or for worse. The things he cares about stay with him, and when something or someone tries to exit his life, he clings to them with all his might.

Jay however, both selflessly and selfishly, is willing to let go first if he thinks its better for the other person. To me this line so effortlessly summarizes who Jay is- he's a person who's accustomed to not having things, and will leave before it hurts and he gets too attached.

And that thought is ALL over this scene. Jay, who begins to let go, Jon, who both literally and physically CLINGS to jay, practically begging him to stay.

(Sidenote. This is like, the third time Jay mentions breaking up when Jon starts acting up. Good for you king, keep that white boy on his toes, let him know he ain't all that.)

Every little detail of this four panel sequence is killing me. "My worst nightmare is not having a home with you in it." His greatest desire. The thing that kept tipping him off in every fake reality Nia constructed for him- Jay's absence. Him wiping the tear of Jay's cheek. Jay walking away from him.

But what really gets me is how on this page, Jon talks about them as 'we', while Jay is firmly stuck in 'I.'

This is what made me LOSE MY MARBLES at three in the morning. Just utterly fucking off my rocker in a straightjacket talking to myself.

Because this is what JON wants. But is it what JAY wants?

Jon never asks.

What about what Jay fears? What about the life that HE wants? What if he doesn't want San Francisco? What if the life he wants is the life he HAD before everything went wrong? Jon outright says he wants a fresh start. But Jay, Jay's someone with such deep connections to what he just lost, what he likely WANTS to get back. His country. His mother. His sense of self. But. He says yes.

(Sidenote. FIRST I LOVE YOU WOOOOOOOOOO) To quote my buddy Dami: Oh, the drama of needing a future with someone who can't get over the past.

It is left unclear, by the end, whether or not Jay is saying yes to this because he genuinely wants to, or if he's only saying yes because he doesn't want to lose Jon, too. Jon doesn't stop to question whether or not Jay's only reaching after him because Jon's walking away. We, the audience, are left to ponder that for ourselves.

How much of Jay saying yes is him just accepting that this is the best he's going to get? That he's never going to be understood because nobody wants to understand?

He's an afterthought to Nia, an obstacle at best, and to Jon he's a particularly handsome prop in this little fantasy he has of running away and starting new. He's either not thought of at all, or when he is thought about, it's in the context of how he can emotionally fulfill the other person And you get why Jon did this. He's desperate, he's hurting, he just got tangible evidence that the time he has with the people he loves isn't ever guaranteed. He's been needing space from Clark and Lois for MONTHS because god knows they haven't been fulfilling his emotional needs. In a very real sense, Jay is who he has.

But wanting someone to stay with you so much that you'll... Not even ignore, but just not ever consider what they may want. The intentional isolation, moving halfway across the country away from all support systems. The need to cling to someone.

It reminds me of... something. Someone.

Don't tell Jon I made this comparison. He'll kill himself. Jon and Ultraman ARE similar. They're both such deeply lonely people who cling very tightly and even though it manifests in different ways and even though they have different core thoughts about it. The effect at the end of the day is the same, isn't it?

Is loving Jay not a brutal act of destruction?

There's so many more details about this story I love. Jon & Nia's conversation being vague enough that you have no idea how Jon meant what he told her but you KNOW how NIA took it (girl you can do better hes literally ugly!). Jon breaking a pillar by bonking his head against it (LMFAO). The pretty lies vs ugly truth dichotomy of Jay vs Nia here.

But this one scene, man. This one fucking scene takes the cake. STELLAR work all around. Every panel counts.

This better lead into a full Superman & Gossamer run or SOMETHING or I'm going to have WORDS with DC's editorial staff.

[writtenjewels]

Maternity Ward part 4

Part One, Part Two, Part Three

Salim found his thoughts drifting to the Kolcheks. Specifically his new friend Jason. He liked being friendly with the couples he worked with, but this felt different somehow. He didn't think he ever connected with someone so quickly. It made him worry a little that he was toeing the line of professionalism. He certainly never spent so much time before thinking of jokes to tell other expectant fathers. But surely putting Jason at ease wasn't a bad thing, and truthfully, it'd been fun to exchange in teasing banter with the man.

The next time he entered the room, he found Penny in the middle of a contraction. Jason was coaching her through it, holding her hand and counting out her breaths for her. Salim watched without interruption, curious to see how Jason handled this. By now the panic stage had likely passed, but it was still impressive how Jason calmly but firmly talked Penny through it.

“You did great,” Jason told her when it was over. “You only said 'fuck' fifty times.”

“I'm savin' those for when I gotta start pushing,” Penny retorted with a laugh.

“Can't wait.”

“May I come in?” Salim asked. Penny looked up and Jason turned. Jason's face lit up in a smile, his eyes brightening. Salim smiled back before turning his attention on Penny. “Let me check on how you're doing.”

“Glad to see ya, Doc,” she smiled. “Jason and I have a bet goin' and we need a neutral party.”

“Oh?” Almost subconsciously, his eyes flicked over to Jason.

“We're bettin' what song's gonna play on the radio,” he explained. “I'm bettin' somethin' from the 80's on and Penny's got from the 50's to the 70's.”

“What if it's classical?” Salim asked teasingly.

“Then we tuned into the wrong fuckin' station.” Jason said it so matter-of-factly that Salim laughed. Jason smirked back at him and turned on the radio. Salim recognized the song after a few notes. “Hah.” Jason pumped a fist. “Fuckin' 1980's!”

“It's the 70's!” Penny argued. “Help me out here, Doc.” He felt both of them staring at him, waiting on a verdict.

“1979. Still technically the 70's. You were close.” He directed this to Jason. Instead of looking upset, Jason just gaped at him.

“How the fuck do you know that?”

“I like music.” Silence fell in the room with only the music to fill it. “I should get back to my rounds,” Salim announced. “I'll check on you later.”

“Hang on,” Penny protested. “Take Jason outta here so he can get me more snacks.” Jason shot her a look Salim didn't understand. With a grunt, Jason stepped out into the hall with Salim.

“You went through all those snacks already?” Salim asked him.

“She ate most of 'em.” The two started down the hall. “So,” Jason spoke up. “You like music?”

“Music kept me sane during medical school. I listened to it while I studied. I still listen to it whenever I need to relax, or feel energized, depending on the genre.”

“Me and Penn listened to a lot of music growin' up,” Jason remarked. “It's why I thought up the bet; thought it would help distract her.”

“It was a good idea.” Salim eyed him curiously. “You grew up together?”

Jason's lips quirked up in amusement. “Since the day I was born.”

Salim couldn't find the words. It was obvious now that he thought about it. The way they talked to each other, the similarities in the face and hair, why Jason always shied away whenever Salim examined Penny. Brother and sister. Salim felt like an idiot for not seeing it. They continued on to get snacks, his mind working through the information.

She's just his sister. The thought made him happy, but also strangely nervous.

[rems-writing]

Returning home

》 Pairing: butler!San × plus-sized princess!reader (platonic)

》 AU: OUAT (Once Upon A Time) AU

》 Wordcount: 1,951 words

》 Rating: sfw

Nets: @mirohs-aurora-society @othersideoutlawsnetwork @illusionnet

This is a part two. You can read part one here

The Choi brothers were nervous as they rode the carriage back home to the queen's castle. They tried to reassure each other that everything will be fine when in reality, both of their words were a lie. It had been exactly a year since they went back to their hometown to reconnect with everyone and everything. From rekindling old friendships to visiting their childhood home.

"What if she doesn't remember us?"

"Jongho, relax. I'm sure she will."

"Are you though?"

"We both wrote letters to her everyday."

"But I feel it isn't enough."

"It is. Trust me."

San gave his little brother a small grin. He made it convincing enough so he could hide the inner turmoil he was feeling. Truth be told, he was more nervous that the princess wouldn't remember him. And Jongho was the one with a crush on her! Even though San always found the princess to be gorgeous, he only thought of her as a little sister. Nothing more, nothing less. He wasn't too keen on finding someone to settle down with just yet.

"Mr. Choi and count Choi. We have arrived."

The Chois looked out the window and saw the unique yet familiar looking castle, feeling relieved momentarily as they arrived home. They thanked the carriage driver and hopped out before retrieving their bags from the back and walking towards the front gate of the castle.

"Senior butler Choi and count Choi! Welcome back!"

San smiled politely and nodded in acknowledgement to the two knights who lifted their weapons and bowed respectfully while Jongho shyly waved at them. He still wasn't used to the title.

"Well well! If it isn't my two favorite Chois!"

"We're the only Chois you know, Robin."

The king laughed heartily and hugged both of them tightly. San then felt a tug at his pant leg and he looked down to see a young boy with curly hair and dimples. His wide curious eyes looked up at him and he waved. San waved back before looking at Jongho in confusion.

"There you are, Roland!"

San's ears perked up at the sound of the queen's voice echoing in the hallway before seeing the actual woman herself run towards them. She scooped up the young boy and smiled brightly at him.

"Got you!"

Roland giggled as the queen kissed his forehead before turning her head towards the Chois. Her eyes widened and she quickly handed Roland off to Robin before hugging both of them.

"San! Jongho! Welcome home!"

"T-Thank you, Regina."

San chuckled quietly at Jongho's shy yet respectful tone after Regina greeted them.

"It's good to be home, Regina."

"I'm glad you guys are back."

"I see a lot of things have changed here."

Regina blushed as San teased her and walked towards Robin before placing a hand on his shoulder and sighing in content.

"Yes they have. However, one thing won't change. And that's your presence in Y/N's life."

At the mention of your name, the Chois felt their hearts race. It increased when they saw you walk down the hallway with Belle, your tutor. You stopped in front of your parents and greeted them warmly per usual. When you noticed their big smiles, you grew curious.

"Mom. Dad. What's going on?"

All they did was simply step to the side. Your gaze landed on two familiar figures and a loud gasp escaped your lips. Tears welled up in your eyes and you covered your mouth to prevent any sobs (of joy) from escaping.

"SANNIE! JJONGIE!"

You cried as you sprinted right towards them. They both caught you in a bone-crushing hug. You were thankful that you decided not to wear makeup today. As soon as you landed in their arms, the waterworks poured out.

"Hi, princess."

You felt yourself slightly swoon upon hearing San's voice. Despite only seeing him as a friend, you couldn't deny that he was attractive. You looked up at him and smiled weakly before turning to Jongho, whose hands fit naturally on your waist.

"Hey, sweetheart."

You swore that you fell in love all over again with Jongho. Your heart raced as you observed him. It had only been a year but to you, it felt like a century.

"I've missed you guys so much."

You spoke so timidly as you tried hard to make sure your voice didn't crack. San cooed at the sight of your bashful nature and took you back into his arms, which Jongho slightly protested. Robin chuckled at the sight.

"Come on, boys. You made it just in time for dinner."

San & Jongho grinned at the king before linking arms with you so the three of you could catch up on things you missed out.

---------------------------------------------------

Less than a week had passed and San fell back into routine as your butler. He missed accompanying you and teasing you about your crush on Jongho. He even encouraged you to confess to him and ask him out to the gala that was being hosted by King Arthur in Camelot. At first, you were unsure. However, San's reassurance of Jongho reciprocating your feelings were more than enough to boost your confidence. Soon, the day of the gala came and San watched from afar as you & Jongho danced the night away.

"Not much of a dancer, lad?"

San jumped slightly at the new voice, only to be relieved when he saw Merlin and his wife Nimue standing next to him.

"It's not that. I guess... I just haven't found the right partner I suppose."

Merlin hummed while Nimue looked deep in thought.

"None of these princesses suit you?"

"I'm sure they do... if I was into them like that."

Nimue gaped at San for a minute before gasping slightly.

"Oh my! I'm so sorry for assuming."

"It's no worries, Madam Nimue. I get it."

Merlin couldn't help the smirk on his face. He bid Nimue goodbye before grabbing San's wrist and dragging him along the corridors of Arthur's castle.

"Um... what are you doing?"

"Finding your soulmate."

Merlin soon stopped San and made him stand just a few feet away from a stranged looking out into the distance.

"Have fun~"

Before San could protest, Merlin had already disappeared. He sighed slightly and fixed the sleeves on his blazer before clearing his throat. If he were to remain here for the remainder of the entire night, he might as well make some friends.

"Good evening. I hope you don't mind me standing here. I just needed to get away from the crowd."

The stranger turned his head towards San and both men felt the breath be knocked out of their systems.

"O-Oh! It's n-no worries!"

The man answered yet it fell deaf on San's ears as he found himself captivated by his beauty. He looked like an angel! Maybe he was an angel...

The man (angel) was a little bit shorter than San. He donned a white ruffled Victorian styled shirt that was tucked into a pair of black slacks that fit his slim legs perfectly. He wore black steel-toed boots and underneath the shirt was a black leather body harness that San found fascinating yet it complimented the natural honeyed complexion his skin had. His wavy black hair hung in front of his face and San noticed a pink splotch near the corner of his right eye.

"Is that a birth mark? If so, it's pretty."

The man blushed and looked away bashfully, leaving San to chuckle quietly and find him adorable. He stepped forward and grabbed his chin so he could properly look at the man's face. His brown eyes were wide with curiosity & shyness, his cheekbones were dusted with a light pink due to his blush, and his jawline appeared sharper than San's. His lips were set in a natural pout.

"Forgive me for being so bold. I can't help it."

"That's ok. I l-like it."

San found his stuttering cute and he grabbed his hand before lifting it to his lips so he could kiss the back of it.

"I'm Choi San. Pleased to meet you."

The man had to regain his composure since he almost lost it when he heard the soft and gentle voice of King Robin & Queen Regina's senior butler. Seonghwa, his own butler, and prince Mingi, his friend, has relayed stories about him before. However, to see him up close and take interest in him was something he never expected. Nonetheless, the young marquis found himself hypnotized by him and wouldn't let this opportunity go to waste.

"Nice to meet you, San. I'm Kang Yeosang."

---------------------------------------------------

Ever since Robin & Regina caught wind of San's newly found infatuation with marquis Kang, they have done everything in their power to tease him relentlessly. And it didn't help that Y/N & Jongho were in on it as well, especially as a couple now. San was currently dusting the bookspines in the history section of the castle's library, humming to himself as he moved on to the next section. He saw Y/N & Jongho talking in a hushed whisper before he froze when the two of them looked up at him. Mischief was in both of their eyes and they fought hard to bite down their giggles.

"What are you two up to?"

The exasperation in the butler's voice was apparent and they both shook their heads before Jongho decided to take off. Y/N, on the other hand, stood up and approached San before reaching her hands out to fix his appearance. She swept a few strands of hair back, straightened up his tie, and adjusted the collar of his shirt before stepping back to do a onceover of him.

"Princess... what are you doing?"

"I order you to stay here until told otherwise."

Before San could say anything, she giggled and sprinted away. San sighed and set down the feather duster on an empty shelf. He mindlessly fiddled with the gold ring on his index finger and sighed airily, unsure of what to do other than stand there. A figure approached him from behind and wrapped his strong arms around the butler's slim waist. San froze at the feeling and looked down to see whose arms were wrapped around him. When he turned around, he felt his heartrate go up and his eyes were filled with love as he looked down at who's hugging him.

"Hi, Sannie~"

The marquis giggled and let out a delighted yelp as San picked him up and spun him around a bit before setting him back down so he coule connect their foreheads.

"I've missed you, Yeo. So much."

Yeosang giggled again and gave San a proper hug before pulling away so he could properly look at his man.

"I have great news. I'll be staying here for a year! My castle is under renovation right now and I do need to discuss trade deals with the royal family so yeah. This works out for the both of us!"

San smiled brightly at Yeosang's news and hugged him some more.

"That is indeed such excellent news. But what about your own butler? Will he not stay with you?"

"I sent Seonghwa back to his home town. I don't need him right now. Besides, I've got my eye on this handsome butler right here."

San smirked at Yeosang's little flirtation and he retracted his arms so he could properly hold the marquis's hands.

"Come with me then. I'll show you around the castle then. Mayhaps you can stay with me."

Yeosang happily nodded at San's offer and the two men exited the library so they could walk around. From afar, the royal family and Jongho watched them with proud smiles on their faces.

Their plan had worked.

[balladeerssong]

Scaramouche x fem!Reader smau. masterlist.

prev. | PART IX. - almost. | next.

in which silence is good and bad at the same time.. (written part).

Much to your surprise, by the time you got ready after agreeing to take a walk with Kunikuzushi, he was already outside of your apartment's door. The streets were dimly lit, but it wasn't hard to notice his puffy, red eyes under the streetlights. There was never silence between you two - you usually kept the convo going with whatever was on your mind. However, this time around you knew he didn't need that right now. He simpy needed someone to be silent with; someone to keep him grounded while he lets the soft wind sort his thoughts for him.

You walked in a lazy pace on the route you took the first time you hung out. The park you stopped at was one you visited countless times before during your previous years at the Akademiya, but being there with Kuni in such a comfortable silence it felt so different, it would be hard to explain. Sitting side by side on the swings, both of you gently pushing yourselves back and forth while countless thoughts occupy both of your minds.

It wasn't until your phone lit up in your hand, a text notification appearing on your screen. You took a glance at Kuni, who seemed to be too lost in thought to even notice. You took a second to open and read the messages you've recieved.

A serious message from Ajax? Surely a "once in a blue moon" experience.

You thought for a second. Issuing a call in such a serene moment would be so disrespectful, no? He probably wants to talk about something regarding the duo stream on sunday, that can probably wait a few hours.

His short response gave your heart a light squeeze. It was never your intention to hurt his feelings, but sometimes it was hard to tell if he's being serious or not. It's really just about the stream.. right?

"That message you got must be interesting. You look so distressed." Kuni's voice was quiet as he spoke. The tears he likely shed a while ago were still straining his throat.

"Oh, just one of my friends asking me where I am. Nothing to worry about."

He nodded in response, his feet slowly dangling in the air below him. He was looking at the full moon above the park, perfectly visible - its reflection in his eyes serving as a spotlight to give a clear view of his uncried tears. It felt like such a perfect moment to say something. To ask what happened, to tell him it's okay, but nothing left your mouth.

"Sumeru is great, I like it so far." He spoke before you could. Despite the comical timing to say this, it sounded genuine.

"I'm glad you do! You being here is great as well." You shot him a sweet smile, an innocent, unsuspecting one.

He wanted to tell you, he wanted to tell you everything on his mind. How his best friend was right. How he fell in love with you after the first day, how he got attached so quickly he never spent a single break in uni without you solely because of it. How his mother never loved him, never spent time with him, gods, she never even LOOKED at him. And when he saw the way you smile at him so effortlessly, how natural it is for you to be kind to him, to guide and help him, he immediately felt the bleeding hole on his heart starting to heal. But at the end of the day it was all a dirty, pitiful excuse in his head.

So maybe silence is the best choice for now.

[marcelineuntitled]

i like this one a lot :)))

[theragamuffininitiative]

I watched the doctor donna specials and I have emotions. Also I kinda love fifteen. Also none of those plots made sense but they were still good lol.

I just love the Doctor and his bestie Donna so so much. 😭 she got a happy ending after all 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 and so did he alkdlrfkleldd 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 ok I'm normal I'm fine.

[magentagalaxies]

get someone who looks at you the way scott thompson looks over at me while i'm filming behind the scenes for the buddy cole documentary

[probablyaseamonster]

Hi I’m rereading Sunwing by Kenneth Oppel and WTF?!

[puzzledemigod]

Ok I did the whole Barbenheimer thing and let me tell you, Barbie wasn't revolutionary or anything, but it did come up ahead. It did what it was supposed to do and, since I managed my expectations before going in, did it in a fun silly way that still left a bunch of possible deeper readings, even if they were sadly left unexplored (and were maybe unintended). Oppenheimer on the other hand left me very angry and disappointed, even if I went there knowing it was an usamerican warfilm so I wasn't expecting much.

I think Barbie and Oppenheimer were equally superficial and obvious with their intended messages presentations, themes and characters, and equally inconsistent with their story threads. But Barbie was about Barbies, was intentionally silly, and had more going for it than the story itself... and Oppenheimer was about one of the real life creators of the atonic bomb, about the ones responsible for the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings, and about the subsequent cold war and the mess it left us today in regards to the existence and threat of atomic and H bombs.

I think I can safely say one had the responsibility to be a bit more nuanced and careful than the other, and that just did not happen. And no, i do not think there was any actual anti USA sentiment in Oppenheimer, as someone who lives in a Developing Country (TM)and is used to seeing usamerican propaganda all the time there was barely even a scratch of criticism buried in there; our knowledge of history and our own modern sensibilities and morality did all the heavy lifting in that front without the movie having to risk saying anything. Oh did he feel bad while the bombs were being dropped? Did they villanize a guy who went after him for uhh being better than him at public speaking? Did they say he was against the H bomb and was a pacifist now, actually (without showing it much but who cares, tell not show right)? He was still the hero. Not one Japanese person was shown. Not one civilian protest, not one appearance of the communists they were talking so much about after the scenes in the past, doing anything but talking the whole time. He still ended up with a "I love my country" tirade, there was still a haha nod to fucking Kennedy being the one to be on our hero's side. They still showed more scenes of women naked, drunk, cheating on their husbands and being negligent towards their kids than of them doing literally anything else.

The "nuance" and "anti-usa messages" was just a bunch of misplaced and inconsequential internal conflict that did not feel earned in any way, misogyny and random, boring and inconsistent jury scenes (sorry, "hearing" scenes or whatever they called so there wouldn't have to be consistent rules to follow). And the main character was so damn boring. And they didn't even represent the actual science parts well. And the editing was so weird and the flashing scenes didn't fit and were repetitive. And there was a happy ending for some reason?? It was a whole bunch of nothing with music building momentum that never went anywhere in the background of every scene for 3 hours and I wanted to leave the room for how angry it made me that this subject was treated that way and would probably get praised for it.

[crystalkitty1220]

I’m planning on making an incorrect summary of ibvs and this was one of the first ideas i had

THIS REMINDS ME OF THE TIME I WAS BORED IN CLASS AND WASTED LIKE TWENTY PAGES OF MY NOTEBOOK BY SCRIPTING A "IBVS IN A NUTSHELL" THING

tags are just me being nostalgic

[todayisafridaynight]

YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PRICELESS IS SO GOOD RIGHT... LOVE THE ENDING FOR THAT... and very much anticipating First Penguin's... which I am DETERMINED to continued today... I feel bad for falling behind because I ended up binging a whole anime yesterday since the secondary protagonist was based on Tsutsumi and lost track of Fucking Everything 😭😭😭he is so cute though😚

OH BUT YEAH I played DQXI's demo [the first ten hours of the game or so]... yeaaahhhh... definitely that kind of game for me too... but I hope whenever you get back to it you have a good time! I may not know a thing about Metroid but I am also happy to hear it was an enjoyable experience overall :] I enjoy the tag rambles very much :]

REGARDLESS... EPIC... I HOPE YOU ENJOY SP... OR AT THE VERY LEAST I HOPE YOU CAN STICK WITH IT UNTIL IT BECOMES ENJOYABLE...

AND YOU'RE JUST NOT GOING TO DROP THE TITLE so mean telling me about all these interesting things to watch and not sharin the title (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)

TEN HOURS FOR THE DEMO ??? long as hell demo... OH BUT NO i love the games a lot !! ive followed the series for a while since. i do have that dragon ball/toriyama fanatic in me unfortunately even if i dont like toriyama himself ☠️☠️ i only really got to actually start one of the games last year when my bro got DQXI for me and ive been loving it so far (*￣▽￣*)ミ|Ю

i've BEEN enjoying it so far !! i'm just about to start episode four tho i AM gonna lose my mind if this hospital arc goes on one more episode bro this half the series already ☠️

[the-ghost-of-a-cyber-princess]

so I just finished inscryption and I need everyone to play it

[noxtivagus]

I LOVE LITERATURE SO MUCH. MY FAV COURSE FR

[harmcityherald]