#And this was 2 am angst lol
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nancyheart11 · 2 years ago
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Hellllloooo!!!!!!
Any word like-
Poem thingy????????
Just— akcjaksj idk?
- Z
How about a little songfic oc thing that I haven't finished :)
(warning: guns, blood, and abuse all mentioned)
The clock stopped ticking forever agoHow long have I been up? I don't know
Car-13 looked at the Searing red letters on the clock above her, their luminance in an otherwise darkened lab casting judgement on the reconstructed girl, who was told to return to her pod hours ago.
I can't get a grip, but I can't let go
There wasn't anything to hold onto, though
She couldn’t get out of her head the man’s expression as they brought him to the front of the shooting range and secured him. He had looked at her in a way none of the scientists in their pristine white lab coats ever had.
With something the pictures of facial expressions she had been told to memorize said was awe, but that the spark of warmth in her chest said was hope. The more confusing part was how the man clearly recognized her, which shouldn’t be possible since all who had known and loved her died in the fire that stole her memories(the thought hurt, far worse than when they had stuck a knife in her arm and her to keep still as long as she could) and had left her so damaged that she had woken in the reconstruction pod her back was pressed against.
Why can't I see
They told her the man was a liar, a spy, he had killed innocent children and deserved to die, yet all she saw was someone who wanted to live. With clothes that looked well worn and comfortable. She saw someone worth saving and failed a test for the first time . . . that she could remember anyway.
Why can't I see
All the colors
That you see?
She knew the color White, since all the tile was white, her her nanotech infused training suit was white, the coats were white.She knew Red, like the burning clock still staring her down, numbers blurred from the moisture (tears a small part whispered) in her eyes
But during stealth tests colors were a popular discussion topic. Particularly the ones that filled the sky. CAR-13 was going to get to see the sky as her reward for today’s test, that opportunity had been crushed the second the gun hit the floor
Please can I beColorful and free?
The only time she got to wear something that wasn’t her training suit was when they were practicing infiltration. Then she wore the clothes she was handed and imitated the volunteer. The day she had been handed a Green dress she had been unable to stop smiling no matter how hard she tried to have a bored and slightly sad look on her face, like the volunteer had shown her.
Something about the green had lit the warmth in her chest, something that said, you know this, you like it. It means something.
What the hell's going on?
The longer she had been awake, the more the things she was told felt wrong. The more she learned and watched the more came back to her about before waking up, embraced by shimmering gold liquid, without even a name of her own.
Can someone tell me please
They were lying to her.The realization made tears flow hot and fast down her face. The sharp pleased nods, the notes of “effective, if unusual”, the rare treat of Chocolate, none of it had been real
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sweetmage · 2 years ago
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Click for full res! 💔
Though my canon Hawke sides with Anders 100% of the time without regrets, I can't help but feel a little bad Sebastian in that scenario (barring what he does in DAI).
To quote what I've already said about it before: Sebastian had experienced so much tragedy, loss, and rejection as it was. However, in his darkest hour (having lost his family) he found someone who he thought understood his position and pain and wanted to help him set things straight when he thought no one else would.
Then, when what little he had left (the Chantry and the family he found there) was taken from him again, he turned to the one person who seemed to have understood his loss and desire for vengeance before, who he assumed he could count on to understand his pain and stand beside him again. His friend...
That person, sadly, sided with the culprit without hesitation or second thought. He never saw things the way Sebastian did...
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chaioticcoffee · 24 days ago
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"Por Una Cabeza"
Alejandro Vargas x Reader
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my roman empire since I re-discovered this song 3 days ago
highly HIGHLY recommend listening to "Por Una Cabeza" but the Orquesta Melodias del Mundo version <3
hurt/comfort - fluff type idek - ballroom dancing
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The hum of low conversation and clinking glasses filled the grand hall, but you barely heard them. The golden glow of chandeliers cast warm light across swirling dancers, their laughter muted, distant. You stood at the bar, fingers gripping the glass, its condensation cool against your palm as you swirled the amber liquid absentmindedly.
Your mind drifted. Endless missions blurred together—each one a desperate attempt to stop a faceless enemy. Each one claiming more lives. The weight of friends lost, the strain of leadership, it all pressed down until it was hard to breathe. The silence between you and Alejandro only made it worse.
His harsh words from that last argument echoed, cutting deep even now. He’d already apologized—sincerely, more than once. He’d given you space when you needed it, his presence withdrawing until you barely saw him. A day, two, maybe more. Time had stretched thin under the weight of tension, the kind that didn’t break but smothered. Still, he waited. He always waited. He always showed in small ways that he was still there- mostly by leaving some kind of small, wrapped gift or a small note with 'I love you' carefully written on it around your shared home.
But the losses, the pain, the long nights—they were dragging you under. Alejandro was just another piece of it all, another weight on shoulders already too heavy to carry. You were tired. Tired of the fighting. Tired of running. Tired of avoiding the only person who had ever understood.
A familiar melody began to rise above the hum of conversation—a wistful, aching tune that tugged at something deep inside you. The opening strains of "Por una Cabeza" filled the air, the mournful violins cutting through the noise of the ballroom. Your chest tightened. Your song. It had played during countless quiet evenings with Alejandro, when the world outside had felt far away, and all that mattered was the way the two of you danced lightheartedly yet joyfully around the living room or kitchen.
You exhaled slowly, the weariness clinging to you like a second skin. The glass in your hand felt heavier than it should, your grip faltering for a moment before you set it down on the bar. The sound of footsteps approached—not hurried, but deliberate. Familiar. You didn’t need to look to know who it was.
"Amor."
A hand, warm and steady, extended into your peripheral vision. You glanced down at it, your breath catching. Alejandro stood beside you, silent yet resolute. His eyes, dark and searching, met yours with a quiet intensity that spoke volumes. No words passed between you—none were needed. The hand remained- it was then that you understood what he was trying to ask.
This wasn’t just a dance. It was an unspoken promise, a bridge over the chasm that had grown between you.
For a heartbeat, you hesitated. The ache in your chest warred with the comfort his presence offered. Then, slowly, almost reluctantly, you placed your hand in his. His fingers closed around yours, firm but gentle, pulling you away from the bar and toward the floor where the music swelled.
His eyes met yours, a moment of unspoken understanding passing between them. He drew you close, your bodies aligning perfectly, and the dance began.
It started slow- the music dictated your movements. Sharp, deliberate, yet fluid. Each step carried a weight beyond the dance itself. The rise and fall of the melody mirrored the rhythm of your shared history: the dizzying highs, the devastating lows, and the quiet moments in between where their bond had solidified like tempered steel.
Your dress flared as your husband turned you, your movements precise but not truly rehearsed. Your every step, every graceful extension of your leg, spoke of resilience, defiance. His steady hand on the small of your back was both a guide and a promise—unwavering, no matter how turbulent the music became.
As the violins mourned and the piano sighed, their connection seemed to transcend the confines of the room. Every pivot and pause was a memory made manifest: the times the two of you had held each other up, the moments you had fought side by side, the scars the both of you bore—visible and invisible. When the music swelled, so did your intensity.
Your movements turned sharp, her head snapping as you pivoted, as though channeling years of pain and triumph into your steps. Alejandro met you with equal energy, his strength an anchor that allowed you to burn as brightly as you dared.
The climax of the song played, and the two of you moved as one—two souls, neither leading nor following but existing together in perfect harmony. The music seemed to weep and rejoice at once, and your movements followed suit: a sudden dip, his arm cradling you with infinite care, your hand trailing over his shoulder as you rose again, your faces impossibly close but never touching.
As the final note lingered in the air, they slowed to a halt, the world around them fading into silence. You didn’t release each other right away. Your breathing, in perfect sync, was the only sound left, a quiet echo of the music’s passion.
A bond forged through ashes and blood.
Unyielding. Strong.
A fire that is burning bright no matter the storms it has to survive through.
That is the bond Alejandro promises you, as long as you're willing to stay by his side.
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its-maemain · 6 months ago
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Hello Hello
I come in search of thoughts on what makes a good angst, in your opinion - Percy
Hellooo! So to answer this I’m gonna be all over the place in terms of where we’re talking about making angst.
The Connection and History:
So one thing is for certain the connections the characters have with each other but also the reader's connection to the characters! That's what really makes it hit, and original pieces that harder to do than with fanfiction in most cases.
(great example why we read and write so much of it)
Original pieces need more layers to bring the readers to the level where you will affect them, while with fanfiction we already care, that's why we’re there. (and for the dopamine that floods us when reading)
Being able to convey that history without explaining it as an info dump is important, and not just for angst, that's just for any type of story!
Attention to Details:
Now this one is heavily a “my opinion” one. The attention to details and how that attention is brought.
Now details when making a story can be anything, from a theme to symbolism. Or sometimes it’s just that one character remembered something that's so small about them but jesus christ you remembered that one thing I have to remind everyone else or no one has ever seemed to notice.
One great example that has made me emotional 😒 is @starry-bi-sky Clone^2 AU, she has talked about it a lot, but the significance of Danny’s hands, the scars on them. (Spoilers, I suppose I should mention)
What they mean, yeah in the moment, in every moment, it’s Danny kinda being a dumbass and catching this tiny Dami’s blade in his hands. But down the line, it shows how he didn't give up, how he wasn't fighting the small child but fighting for him. Fighting for his future.
There’s plenty of posts written by Starry about the hands and other moments between them. The significance of the hands is already emotional, now add in connection and history.
For that AU the Damian and Danny we follow are clones of Damian Wayne and Bruce Wayne (DC), so we have that, but Danny is still Danny Fenton (Danny Phantom).
There are layers to the connections the reader has to these characters, Bruce and Damian being characters that have thousands of hours worth of content for you to somehow grow connected. Damian has been cloned before in Cannon and killed by that clone, so the drama of that is enough to make you want to hold your breath.
Now Danny Phantom has history with clones, Dani Phantom. You already have Danny’s experience with them and the idea of them. But then Starry makes Danny a clone of B, and he has to come to terms with that, and soon following that is a clone of the guy’s kid??
There's a quite a bit going here, and it works. We have established care for the characters, now we add a few layers of cannon fuckery, then something to focus on: Danny’s dilemma of taking in his reality (which I didn't get into), and Danny’s hands representing his immediate dedication to Damian.
Another example of his dedication is him learning Arabic and teaching Damian English, lord I love them helpp😭
So conclusion,
It doesn't matter what you choose to do, it's how you focus on it. How is it significant to the story or characters? What are the possible lasting effects? And of course, does this make sense?
Just ask how it fits with the characters or story, whether its a one-shot or multi-chapter.
Thank you for the ask, I loved this, it made me think ^-^
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infamous-if · 2 years ago
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any crumbs for the next chapter please dear author :3
"I don't like to hurt you," you say softly.
[REDACTED] laughs quietly, the sound weak. "And yet you still did."
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quinn-pop · 1 year ago
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mtdd week day 3 - caring
yeah this is a totally random timeskip thing. just pretend dedede looks older okay thank you
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just another night (and it’s ours)
part 2
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sshcomic · 1 year ago
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You have given me a great joy in life with your Renkaza au
May I ask, what happened to the rest of the Kamado family? Did they get their canon ending or are they with Nezuko as they try to deal with her new demonification?
oh yay im glad you're enjoying it so far! 🥰
nezuko's actually with her brother in the box, like in canon lol. i just havent drawn her--or inosuke or zenitsu--in the panels we've seen, but they're there!
as for the rest of the kamados... i actually havent decided LOL. my instinct is to save everyone, since this is a light-hearted comic strip, but also i'm not sure i'd be able to reliably write that since it involves more plot than the "stupid jokes loosely following canon" i mostly have written down aha. so i suppose it's a surprise for now, even for myself.
i guess we'll see!
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non-un-topo · 1 year ago
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Talking to my sister can be one of the most aggravating experiences
#just allowing myself a few moments of self-pity today#because i'm a little overstimulated/sick of people talking AT me#i have begun to notice that i'm never asked anything... not a single thing. no questions about my life or interests or how school is going#no questions about my partner or our anniversary and no acknowledgement of the big haircut i just got#no questions about my BIL's wedding. none about my health.#every day it's just people talking AT me. kind of tired at the moment...#and this is made worse by my sister's holier-than-thou attitude about literally the smallest and most insignificant things#like washing clothes? and cooking rice?? idk she talks like a housewife now.#and i get to listen to her complain about her 35 year old boyfriend and not say ONE kind thing for 2 hours straight#not a single question for me. not a single nice thing. and i'm talked over constantly#it's not like i don't raise my voice or speak my mind lol#it's just that. between my family and my partner's family. it feels like no one knows just how smart i am and how much fun i can be.#my partner is perfect in so many ways. my best friend and the kindest and most compassionate person i know.#but i really could brag and boast like my sister does over absolutely nothing. because i have actual achievements. but i don't#because who does that lol. fucking annoying and rude people.#maybe my family just thinks i'm okay and so they never ask me anything or call me. ever.#but see.... i don't talk to them because i want advice or help or money. i talk to them because they're my family#and i would very much like to feel cherished and loved by them#/ end angst and self-pity boo hoo
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second bit of my 'mu qing is '''dead''' and feng xin is heartbroken' au!!!
my apologies again for my bad writing, i'm afraid i'm still learning tbh!! 😅 thanks very much to everyone who helped me choose these lines!!! i really appreciate it!!! (the only reason im not tagging is bc im. a coward hahaaaa ha 😭) i'll edit feng xin's dialogue slightly from the literal translation for. Artistic Purposes 👀
dialogue 1: Mu Qing...
dialogue 2: Please, I'm begging you. Come back to my side once more.
edit: also i lied and there's 4 5 parts now 😅
PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5
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sakurasfallingstar · 1 year ago
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ShiSaku Week: Day 2
"Sakura, for once in your dawn life, be honest with yourself," Shisui pleaded, as his hands held his grasp around her shoulders.
"Shisui please-"
She didn't even get to finish what se was going to say.
She beautiful green eyes teared as she looked into his onyx ones. There was so much love. So much longing that his eyes held, and Sakura, despite wanting to return his affection, couldn't.
"You should be honest with yourself, admit it. Admit that you love me, that you want to spend the rest of your life with me. Please, just say it, and I promise, can can take you away from here. I would take us to where the on one can keep us away from eachother. Sakura, please... I love you," he confessed, as he brought her into his embrace; hiding his face within three crook of her neck.
Sakura at this point was in tears. She wanted nothing more than to be with Shisui. She really did, but she was already betrothed.
As it would turn out, her parents had already promised her to a close friend's son somewhere in the sand village when she was born. Apparently, they had some well established connections throughout elemental nations, and helped the Haruno's business take off.
She and her suitor haven't spoken, and for 18 yeats she knew nothing of it. The news hit her like a truck. At that time, she had already been dating Shisui for 3 years. With her parents fully aware of it.
Apparently, they had hoped that with time, her suitor would want to break off they engagement. However, after getting a letter a month before her 18th birthday stating the opposite. It even stated that if the marriage did not go through, then their business would be in danger.
Thus, they were forced to deliver bad news.
The couple's breakup was one that left untreated wounds within their hearts.
It was worse, since Sakura never told Shisui why she wanted to breakup. They had met up, and the bomb was dropped. She gave no explanation. She simply said, "Let's break up," in the most quietest voice he's ever heard from her.
There was a silent pause. Shisui, felt like the world was caving in on him. He went through his memories trying to find any reason as to why she'd want to split.
It was when she started to leave did he break out of his spell.
Catching her wrist, he said, "Sakura please talk to me. I'm sure we can work this out. Just tell me. If it was something I did, I promise I won't  do it again. However, I'd need to know what it was so I don't do it."
Sakura, was silent. Her pink hid her face, as she stared at the concrete floor. She didn't want him to see the tears beginning form. The moment he'd see she was about to cry would only make this whole situation worse.
Shisui would bring her close. He'd holder hold her and tell her to let it out. Then he'd get her to talk, and possibly commit murder.
She didn't want that last bit for him.
Rather than letting any of that happen, Sakura broke free from his grasp.
That was two weeks ago.
Had it not been for her two best loudmouth, drunk, blonde friends and his cousin, sasuke; Shisui would have not have any clue into her predicament. In fact he'd still be bar hopping and taking on dangerous missions as to cope with the heartache.
Now this is where they are.
Sakura standing on top of the Hokage monument, in the arms of the man she loves wholeheartedly. She wanted nothing more than to be with him, but she also didn't want her parents' business to be destroyed because of her selfishness.
It was because of that business that she was able to go to the academy, that she was able to have weapons,  clothes, food, and a home.
Sure, there were times when either or both parents were gon for days on end while she stayed behind, but she knew the reasons as to why they had to do it.
Pulling away, Sakura brought her hand up to carrass his face. She wanted to burn his face into her memory. From the faint beauty mark that hid on his right eyelid, just below the brow, to the way his eyes softened when they met her's.
"Shisui, they'd still manage to find us. Besides, it is my duty to marry that man," she said, with a heartbroken smile.
"Sakura-"
"I love you Shisui. If I could marry you, I'd do it in a heartbeat. My only hope is to find you in our next life, and pray that we have far better chance of being together."
"In every lifetime,  universe, dimension, or world, I will find you; and I will always find a way to be with you. This I promise you, Sakura Haruno,' he promised before pressing his lips against the purple diamond on her forehead.
@shisakuweek
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kunikiiida-kuuun · 1 year ago
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Played Mayoi after months today because they added Looking Sharp Kunikida to the bungou point store 😂
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snowshowerwriting · 2 years ago
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Hiding Underneath
Edit 1 : Grammar review, minor changes
Part 1
What am I doing? What am I doing? What am I doing?
Those four words rang in Hero's head like a chant from a crowd, a displeased crowd. Silently, Hero berated themselves for not bringing up their fists when they saw Villain. It had been a while since Hero had faced off the Villain without a team- it had been a while since they had faced off Villain themselves.
It didn't feel like the old times, not after the time the two worked together, and especially not after their final battle against Supervillain.
Not with how Villain slithered into their thoughts every day, in every waking moment.
"You don't seem so excited to see me today, Darling," Villain's smooth voice chuckled.
Hero gulped, shifting their weight from one leg to the other. "Well, you seem much too eager to see me," they muttered, shoulders tense and stiff. "So I guess you can say it evens out?" Villain raised a brow, half amused at the other's response.
With a hop and a skip, Villain had made it from the fire escapes onto the rooftop. Their silhouette blended in amongst the shadows of the taller buildings surrounding them. Even then, Hero's eyes could make out his shape as moved swiftly towards him.
"You're awfully quiet, darling," the villain hummed lowly. A small glint came from Villain's hands, and Hero realized that he held a knife. Though nothing threateningly. In fact, Villain simply spun the blade around with his nimble fingers. They stared at it for a few moments before turning their gaze back out to the cityscape.
"I've got nothing much to say," Hero sighed, moving to hug themself. "Not after all that you've given me last time we met, anyways." They continued, quieter than before.
Out of all the responses, Hero didn'te expect the Villain to spill out into laughter. "Really? Think nothing much of it, honestly. I doubt anyone will believe you anyways," he said, the laughter ebbing into chuckling. He leaned to the side, balancing his weight on an arm.
Hero frowned in skepticism. It didn't really seem fair, not with how much Villain had opened up about himself to Hero. Meanwhile, the most their nemesis knew was probably Hero's scheduled fights and perhaps how much of a heavy sleeper Hero was (from when they had a 72-hour stakeout outside one of Supervillain's hideouts).
"How about this," Villain started, catching the other's attention. "You tell me a secret about yourself, yeah?" He offered. The villain quickly noticed how devious that question sounded, before adding on quickly, "Like, I just mean small secrets. It doesn't have to be some shit like where you live or when you go to work or whatever. It can literally be your favorite food for all I care. I mean, it's a secret for me nonetheless."
After a few seconds passed, the hero smiled. It was small, but frankly speaking, Hero probably hadn't been able to ease up for a while now. They took in a deep breath, looking at Villain before sighing. "You know how we had to do the stakeout a month back?" Villain nodded at the question, leaning it while resting his elbows on his knees. "Yeah, well I actually hate the ramen you bought during those days."
Villain's eyes widened whilst Hero laughed at the other's reaction. "What?! Why didn't you just tell me, I don't mind buying a different packet!"
"No, nono, it's not your fault," the hero said between laughter. Once calming down, they continued on. "Actually, I don't like ramen at all. Not just that specific brand... When I was small, uh, my older sister.." Hero drifted off for a moment, debating whether to continue the story. Would this be breaching any of their rules? Bringing family into this business? But with how the villain encouraged them with that face, Hero couldn't back down.
"My older sister basically raised me and my brother. Unfortunately, the first couple of years she looked after us, we practically survived on junk food including ramen," they recounted, scrunching their nose at the memory. "Eventually, she learned to make some food. Every Friday, we'd have this killer fried rice she'd spend an hour making. All with the leftover vegetables and stuff from the week. Now that? I'd kill for that."
A fond smile fell over their lips as they recalled the long-forgotten memory being rediscovered. That wasn't the only secret they spilled that night.
Stories of the Hero's childhood were now exposed to Villain over the course of two hours, between bouts of jester and laughter. As the sun began to rise, Hero finally came to terms with something that had been plaguing them. Hero trusted Villain with much more than just their secrets. Neither of them lied to eachother during their conversations. Comforting words, and honest memories were shared.
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lifeofclonewars · 1 year ago
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By The Things We Have Seen
Title comes from Colder Heavens by Blanco White
Hope you all enjoy. I'm kicking off my winter break with some Kix feels that came to me at 2am last night
--
Kix is already his average amount of tired at the beginning of the campaign when they land on Umbara. Standard medic duties and all that.
And then the battles start.
And the deaths begin.
And they never stop.
Things take a nosedive the second the General gets called away. Kix is so stressed out. Rex tells him they have to leave people behind so they can make sure they don't die themselves. They argue about it, but he knows his Captain is right. He wishes it could be otherwise. Later, he'll reflect on just how much Rex must have wished that, too.
He snaps on the battlefield and Tup has to wrap his arms around him, pinning his blaster down, just to get him to stop shooting at the weird plant thing he goes off on. He doesn't want to fight; he just wants to heal and help.
He can't say it was completely out of nowhere. This shadow planet is messing with him. Add in the events of the battles. Sprinkle in the tiredness getting worse. It was a perfect recipe for mental disaster.
They get a small chance to rest. The few moments he isn't helping stop more death from injuries, he's helping stop more death by aiding Fives, Jesse, and Hardcase. He gives Hardcase a thumbs up as they head out.
All he can do is hope they succeed.
Still more death. Brothers are dying in droves from injuries in the medbay. One of his oldest friends sacrifices himself while he's in there. His other oldest friend breaks it to him when he returns.
Kix refuses to follow Jesse out of the medbay and take a rest. His grief gnaws at him. He keeps his bucket on and continues about his duties. Nobody says anything to him.
The makeshift medbay is simultaneously overwhelmed and overwhelming. His hope is beginning to smolder.
Things get worse. He commits treason by not shooting Jesse and Fives. All he can manage is a small smile: they'd all been on the same page about that, at least. He witnesses Waxer die from friendly fire mere hours later. More treason is committed when they arrest Krell.
There's no time to process any of it. More and more death and injuries. Krell finally dies, but not before he's done irreparable damage to the legion.
And Kix is so tired. So done. So hurt. He is but a medic who loves his brothers with his entire being. He has been forced to leave people behind, watch them suffer, done all he possibly could (though it never feels like enough), and for what? It's all fallen short.
He grieves.
For Hardcase.
For all the troopers they had to leave behind.
For Dogma and his unknown fate.
For Rex and the extra stress he went through as captain.
For each and every one of them who lived a moment in the campaign.
They get back to the ship and things don't magically get better. The post-campaign treatments are higher than ever. Morale is at its lowest. Medics are at their most needed. Leadership gets sent off to Kadavo of all places.
And Kix remains tired. Umbara wore him to the bone and he just has to keep going. Live to fight another day, the voice of Hardcase in the back of his mind keeps encouraging.
It's hard. But he does. The exhaustion seeps further into his bones but he keeps going. Keeps caring. Keeps helping. Keeps pushing through the tiredness. And before he knows it, Jesse is being promoted to ARC and Fives is asking him for some help at 79s.
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pbpsbff · 1 year ago
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tried on pants in a dressing room and didn’t cry is this healing
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phoenixiancrystallist · 1 year ago
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Title: Soar
Fandom: Forspoken
Rating: G
Summary:
What a rare and beautiful gift, freedom. Something to be treasured, reveled in, celebrated. And what could be more free than a bird, aloft on golden wings that glinted in the sun?
Recommended listening: Into Darkness by BrunuhVille
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matamisin · 2 years ago
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Against my own will, I haven't seen the afternoon in a week
#I CANT KICK THIS JET LAG AUGSHSKDBX#it was so easy adjusting when i was at the philippines like two days max i was already good#HERE THO??? I AM A SLEEPY GIRL#once the clock strikes 2 PM i blink and suddenly im all swaddled up in bed and its fucking 10 PM AAJSJDHDJ#i wont lie i only like it bc that means i get to see sunrises 🤭🤭🤭#BUT I CANST STAY LIKE THIS#EVERYONE ELSE HAS ADJUSTED LIKE NORMAL AND IM OVER HERE BEING A NIGHT OWL LOL#im gonna try to draw tonight ehehehe might as well#the only thing about being the only one up at night is im trying to vibe downstairs by myself right??#and its a vibe dont get me wrong#however i am what the young people call extremely paranoid#so i carry an emotional support knife around as i watch my silly modern families and scroll and tikkytok#if i at least had my 3 big akitas with me id feel a little bit less ummmm like i need to be on guard#but they go up to bed with my parents every night 😞😞🥲#i tried drawing last night and i doodled a genya but that was all i could muster :(#so maybe DS isnt the best thing for my art block right now 🤔🤔#but idk if im feeling SDV 😩#once i fall for 2 ✌️ sibling-like characters that would die for each other and are like a gold mine for angst i am GONE from everything else#its funny cause ive liked DS for about 3 years but when i first got into it i just COULD NOT get into making fanart#and even tho i loved the charas i was like nahhh none of them are hiting the right chord for me to full on hyperfixate and build my own aus#but i got back into it a bit ago cause i was like alright if the world insists i read the manga thru for the 4th time WHO AM I TO SAY NO LOL#AND SUDDENLY THE SHINAZUGAWAS CAPTURED MY HEART AND THEYVE BEEN ON MY MIND EVER SINCE#HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO BLIND TILL MY 4TH REREAD#🤔🤔 hmm maybe its cause we finally got to see genya in action with the 3rd season#they did him so right bros i LOVE HIM HE IS MY SON#anyways thats all for now#gonna go get comfy and make my nest on the couch to try to draw again >:)
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