#And this is fairly recent too like within the past 2 years or so I never used to do this shit

[lesbianwyllravengard]

Why the hell do I sleep like I've been through 4 wars someone gently nudges me awake and I gasp and jolt up like I'm having a nightmare. my sister got scared of a noise our dog made and just stood over my bed until I woke up and I saw her (very small, petite, very recognisable silhouette) over me and started shouting "who are you!?" while pressing myself up against the wall like I was gonna get attacked. It took five whole seconds for me to calm down and realise it was her only after she finally spoke. What is wrong with me

[maximumzombiecreator]

Since I've had a few people asking about megadungeon stuff recently, and I am an avowed megadungeon megafan, I thought it might be fun to walk through an actual example of megadungeon play that exemplifies what I like best about it.

This post is going to be the first in a series talking about a room from a megadungeon that I ran over 20 years ago (brushing past that fact quickly lest the horrors set in.) It was a major room, probably the most complex and important in the dungeon, and the players passed through it frequently throughout the campaign. In this post I'll introduce you to the room, and then in later posts I'll talk about what it does well and how to use that lesson more generally. Below the cut is a reproduction of the map as I remember it.

Without getting into The Lore too deeply, some dwarves accidentally dug into hell, as one does. Classic trope, nothing wrong with using them. They quite sensibly shut the mine down and sealed if off, but word got out. A human king heard about this, and took over the mine, expanding it into a temple complex to curry favour / barter with hell. It went badly, as such things do.

This concourse connects several wings of the dungeon, spanning several floors. An enormous devil face statue emerges from the northern wall, above the second floor balcony and below the fourth, and a column of light shines through a hole in the ceiling onto the center of the floor. Several floors of balconies overlook the chamber, though the stairs to the fourth floor balcony have long since collapsed.

This chamber was not too far from the main entrance, with the party first encountering it on their second delve into the dungeon, though it would take two more delves for them to gather the courage to enter it. At the time they first encountered it, it was swarming with imps and other little devils worshipping the big face.

I'll summarize the key:

A. Hallway from the Entry Chambers, the first and easiest section of the dungeon.

B. Doorway to the Pilgrim's City.

C. Doorway to the Unholiest of Unholies. Sealed and warded against simple spells.

D. Doorway to the Old Dwarven Quarters.

E. Doorway to the Nobles' Section. Barred from the far side.

F. Portcullis to the Pilgrim's City. The mechanism has rusted out and no longer functions.

G. Doorway to the Halls of the Clergy.

H. Doorway from the King's Inner Sanctum.

I. Doorway to the Archive.

J. Doorway to the King's Inner Sanctum, locked.

K. Doorway to The Indulgences.

Stairway from floor 1 to floor 2.

Light from the hole in the ceiling.

Broken stairs from floor 2 to floor 4.

Big ole devil face. Its eyes are a one-way illusion, allowing anyone within the face to view the room below.

Okay that's a lot, thanks for sticking it out. While I don't want to wander too far off topic into the rest of the dungeon, I'll just briefly note that the Pilgrim's City and Old Dwarven Quarters are easier sections of the dungeon, the Nobles Section and Halls of the Clergy are slightly more difficult, the King's Inner Sanctum, Archive, and Indulgences are very dangerous, and the Unholiest of Unholies is, as one might expect, where the worst things (and best loot) in the dungeon are. This was 2nd edition AD&D, so there was not a presumption of fights being balanced, and traipsing through more dangerous sections of the dungeon at lower levels wasn't uncommon. The players also understood the varying levels of danger fairly implicitly, since the custom at the time was that any time you went a level further away from whatever the ground floor was, things got more dangerous. The only exception to this is the Unholiest of Unholies and I think we can agree that when it's beyond a magically sealed door under a giant devil head the danger is telegraphed.

Next post I'll start talking about what made this room work so well in practice.

[cattordi]

a/n hi, sorry i’m advance about the ending it’s kinda awkward. this is part 3 to my “series”

summary it’s been over a year since the last time you and bucky, y’know ;), and he has something to tell you

pairings brothers bestfriend!mechanic! bucky barnes x post college! reader

warnings smut, pleasure kink, breeding, face fucking, choking, spanking, foul language, jealousy, fluff, angst, possessive!bucky, sir kink, rough sex, etc 18+ MINORS DNI

part 1 || part 2

lover

within a year, you learned so much about yourself—your desires— and they weren’t what the man in front of you had to offer.

“so you recently got of college?” jason ask as he whips his mouth with a napkin.

jason has been asking you out for a few weeks since you started your new job and you repeatedly let him down until a few days ago; and now you’re on a date a restaurant close to your job.

“yes, i graduated about three months ago.” you say. this whole “date” your answers to him have been short but he won’t take a hint.

“how was your graduation?” he ask and thoughts fill your mind of your graduation ceremony, everyone was there but him.

bucky.

james buchanan barnes.

just thought of him made you feel good.

“it was boring and long.” you mutter while taking a sip of your water. jason’s eyes meet your after a few unwanted seconds of silence.

he wasn’t unattractive, he just wasn’t bucky.

and that’s who you have been craving this past year.

emotionally and physically.

your brother mentioned him less and less as the year went on which confused you. but you missed him and even when you said you were done with him, you both knew you weren’t done with each other.

“y/n?” jason says and you snap back into reality. “you good? i’ve called your name like five times.”

“i’m sorry, i spaced out.”

“i can see that,” he begins and rolls his eyes in irritation which takes everything in you not to throw a chair at him.

“you were calling my name?” you question as he circled the ice in his drink around—annoyingly.

“yeah, i just want to ask if you knew who that was.” he snaps putting emphasis on the that.

turning your head slowly you see someone you didn’t plan on seeing ever again, bucky.

turning back around you start, “i don’t know who that is.”

yeah it was lying but you didn’t care.

“well he needs to stop staring.” jason groans, taking a bite of his steak.

you look down at your pasta, seeing it looking as if it hadn’t been touched.

so to get into buckys head, you indulge in your date a tad bit more.

grabbing your fork, you stab at the pasta and plop some in your mouth. you can feel his eyes on you—scanning your body.

“finally…” jason whispers to himself but you happen to hear. you cock an eyebrow at him and he laughs, “you’re eating.”

conversation sparks for thirty more minutes before your date comes to a close. “it was nice spending tonight with you.” jason says as he holds your door open to head outside.

it’s fairly warm outside so you don’t need to slide your jacket on. “it was nice hanging out with you too.” you say and smile at him.

he smiles back and silence falls over the two of you like a rain cloud in a cartoon.

“i hope we can do this again,” he begins and pulls you into an awkward hug. you fall into his embrace and wrap your arms limply around him.

after a few more seconds, you both part ways and you walk down the sidewalk feeling accomplished.

you know you managed to piss bucky off, you could feel it off him. the few times you’d catch glimpses at him, he looked like he could kill jason with his bare hands. only time would tell when he would-

“y/n are you fucking insane?” a familiar voice snaps you out your thoughts. “are you fucking insane?”

bucky was holding your arm tightly after he pulled you into a side alley. “no why?” you ask sweetly.

his hand closes around your throat so quickly you don’t even see it happen. “hm i don’t know. maybe because you’re walking home not even paying fucking attention. and then on top of that you act like you don’t fucking know me,” he begins and you can see the heat behind his eyes, “what type of man lets women walk home by themselves? i could kill him.”

with every word, he grip tightens to the point where you’re sure there’s marks on your neck.

his grip on your neck loosens, “james let it rest it’s been a year!” you groan and you can see every emotion pass his face.

“james? fucking hell y/n, you shut me out! i didn’t shut you out.” he begins, “you know i’ve wanted you since i met you and when i had you, you didn’t want me enough.”

“why weren’t you at my graduation?” you mumble and his eyes soften, “why weren’t you at my fucking graduation?” you yell and push him.

anger crosses his face again, “don’t fucking push me. i understand you’re upset but i have more of a right to be upset than you.”

you know it’s true but you can’t help but push his buttons, “why weren’t you at my fucking graduation?”

“i’m not telling you.”

“tell me.”

“no.”

“yes.”

“no.”

“yes.”

“no.”

“y-“

“because i was to fucking afraid you’d break my heart again! and you fucking did. acting like you didn’t know me. that’s fucked up y/n.”

“it was so jason wouldn’t-“

“you know me y/n so never in your fucking life act like you don’t know me.” he groans before his lips attack yours.

like it’s an instinct you kiss back hard and with need. “oh fuck i’ve missed you.” he says, “but i’m not taking you here.”

the thought of it makes you wet and you rub your legs to create friction. bucky quickly takes notice and he chuckles, “such a needy slut.”

the sounds of him degrading you make you feel even more hot and bothered as he guides you down the street. you have a hard time keeping up with his steps but you make it to his apartment building and into his apartment in no time.

before you can take in your surroundings, buckys mouth is back on yours again. he backs you into his bed, causing your to fall back. “i missed you so much.” you whimper.

“i know baby.” he groans while pulling your leggings down revealing the black lace thong you opted to wear. “was this for him?” he ask and you stay quiet.

a hard smack lands on your thigh, “was this for him?” after his question he pulls on the band of your thong and snaps it onto your skin. “no.” you wince.

“no what?”

“no sir.”

“that’s what i thought.”

though you hadn’t talked to bucky in awhile, you always remembered how dominant he was. “sit up.”

you do so but you’re quickly pulled to the floor. as soon as bucky begins undoing his belt, you know what’s about to take place. “open your mouth.”

you do so slowly, he shoves his dick in your mouth forcing you to open wider. “fuccckkk.”

he thrust into your mouth at an uncontrollable speed, hitting the back of your throat each time. “mmmhphh.” you try to say around his length but the vibrations make him even more turn on.

‘you’re too big’

“you’re taking me so well baby.” he groans while continuously thrusting into your mouth. your grip on the back of his legs tighten as he slows his thrust down. “fuck!” he moans while pulling out your throat.

spit is rolling down your chest heading south. “y/n?”

“yes sir?” you mutter while looking up into his eyes. danger and mystery fill his eyes, “i’m gonna fuck every thought with another man out your mind.” he begins while pulling your onto the bed and flipping you on your stomach, “you want to know why?”

you’re so dazed you don’t answer until a smack lands on your ass and you gasp, “why?”

“because your mine.” and with that he rips the thong off with one movement and enters you. you gasp and moan at the feelings you’ve been longing for. “holy fuck i forgot how tight you were.”

“i’ve missed y- ugh.” you begin but his finger finds your clit as his other hands arches your back a bit more making him hit your g spot a different way.

“baby you feel so good.” he groans, his hips snapping into yours with desire.

he continues thrusting and rubbing your clit until he says something neither of you expect, “tell me your regret it.”

“what?” you moan.

“tell. me. you. regret. it.” he says sternly, smacking your ass with every word.

“tell you i regret what?” you say but he stops moving at that question.

“y/n..” he begins before pulling you into his chest and gripping your throat. “tell me you regret leaving me,” the thrust start again, “tell me your regret going on a date!”

the new angle he’s hitting feels ten times better. “tell me you fucking regret it.” he grunts while pinching your colt.

“i..” you begin but your orgasm is getting closer.

“y/n i swear if you don’t fucking say it.” bucky says before rubbing your clit again.

he builds your orgasm all the way up before slowing down, “bucky i was gonna cum.” you half whine while leaning into him for friction.

“well if i don’t get what i want, you’re shit out of luck.” he says and you purposely tighten around him, “you were too cock drunk to even understand what i was saying, so now tell me y/n. did you regret it?”

“yes sir.” you say and he starts thrusting again.

“say it.”

“i regret it.” you moan as he speeds up and your orgasm builds back up quickly. you lay your head on buckys shoulder as he continues fucking you maliciously. “oh fuck bucky i’m gonna come.”

“say it again.”

“i regret it.”

“say it again. i can feel you tightening around me.”

“i regret it sir.” a few seconds of panting and loaning pass before you speak again. “bucky i’m gonna-“

“say it.”

“i regret it!”

“say it.”

“i regret it!” this time you say it when as you come. white flashes take over your vision as you moan the loudest you think you’ve ever. arching your back into him, bucky fucks through your orgasm causing more and more pleasure as another builds up.

“holy fuck y/n, your pretty cunt was made for me.” bucky moans while his thrust become static. you immediately feel even more filled as bucky comes in you. “you feel so good.”

you fall one the bed with him still in you, at the feeling of your legs turning week. “bucky?”

his jeans are already pulled up when you look up at him. “yes?”

“i’m sorry.” you mumble. he smiled in return before hovering over you. “i want us to work, but you know how my brother is and.. i don’t know. it was easier to reject you than face the truth and what i wanted.”

“it’s okay.” he starts before plopping a small kiss on your mouth. “promise me something?”

“yes?”

“don’t leave me.”

a wave or sadness goes through you as you cup his face, “never. we aren’t done, remember?”

with that he smiles and rolls over so you’re on top of him. “i’ve never been done with you y/n. it’s just you and me.”

[phantom-of-the-501st]

Always: Discussing Arthur and Charles

Alternative title: Steph waffles about the dynamic between Arthur and Charles for way too long because it’s all she can think about rn

Tagging @the-bi-space-ace in case you were interested in my ramblings about these two 🤠

I recently fell back down the Red Dead 2 rabbit hole and once again have had many thoughts about the characters, particularly Arthur and Charles (nothing new there lol) and their relationship (however you interpret that). I don’t know if I have a singular favourite quote from Arthur in this game, as there are a few contenders - “we’re more ghosts than people’, “we’re thieves in a world that don’t want us no more’, “I’ll turn you into a goddamn cauliflower” - but with Charles I definitely do. “Always.”

It’s so simple, so succinct, and so perfectly Charles. A line that holds so much weight and meaning, in such few words. And what I love about it is that it represents what makes Arthur and Charles’ dynamic so special, and encapsulates how meaningful that relationship was for the two of them in those months.

When we first see these two characters at the beginning of the game, it’s mentioned that in the 6 months that Charles has been with the gang, the two haven’t spoken all that much, and yet something that becomes immediately clear is the fact that there is a very obvious level of respect that they hold for each other. We can determine that within just a few months, they have already built up a recognition of the work and care that the other puts into the gang, and the importance that they have within the group. Even if they aren’t necessarily close at this point, there is undoubtedly a mutual respect there, very early on in the game. But what is even more interesting to watch during the hunting mission up in Colter, is the way that they fall quite easily into a comfortable conversation. We have Arthur, who tends to make it fairly obvious when he doesn’t like someone, and Charles, who never says more than he deems necessary and who avoids any possible conversation with people he doesn’t have the time for, having a relatively open conversation for the entire mission. Even if they haven’t interacted much over the time since Charles has joined, they already have a bond that is slightly surprising for these two characters. And over the course of the game that bond just grows into something so special.

I’m gonna side track slightly to talk about the background of these two because I think it is integral when talking about the dynamic that these two have. Arthur has been with the gang for a long time (20 years or so) and as a result, has become very close with a lot of the people in it. Even if he doesn’t agree with some of them a lot of the time, they are still his family, and he will always do what he can to protect them. Arthur didn’t have the greatest start to life, with his mother dying and his (likely abusive) father being executed in front of him, so this gang is the closest thing to a family that he has had for the majority of his life. Similarly, Charles did not have the best beginnings either: losing his mother, losing his tribe, losing his father to drink, and then running away, subsequently spending half of his life alone. Not to mention the fact that as someone of African American and Native American heritage, Charles will have experienced hardship and adversity on a level that many of the other gang members (including Arthur) will never have experienced. So for Charles, joining the gang meant the chance of something new, the chance to find a place where he can actually belong.

It's these backgrounds that build these characters and that set the foundations for what we see in the game: why they act in a certain way around others, why they make certain choices, why they agree or disagree with the choices made by the people around them. And it’s their past which, in a way, explains not just why Arthur and Charles came together, but why they were so necessary in each other’s lives. I’m not going to say that it’s all down to fate necessarily, but I do believe that these two met each other at the point when they needed the other person most. The trajectory that we see these characters go on wouldn’t have been possible without the other by their side and I’m gonna discuss why.

One of the things I love most about their dynamic is that despite there being a mutual respect between the two, Charles isn’t afraid to call Arthur out on some of his behaviour. The best example of this is when he tells Arthur “you ain’t as tough and dense as all that” in response to Arthur saying that they shouldn’t help the German family, especially since he doesn’t even speak their language. Arthur is a character who is very much aware of the way people view him, and is very conscious of the fact that he is labelled by many to be a bad person (as to be expected from an outlaw). As a result, he tends to go about things with an attitude of “well, if people already have this opinion about me, why should I try to be anything else?” and tends to act harsher than he typically would because he’s just living to the standard that everyone expects from him. But Charles can see through Arthur’s act, and knows that he’s acting this way to try and fit this tough outlaw image that everyone expects him to show. He’s also aware that this isn’t really who Arthur is and doesn’t hold back at taking him down a peg or two when he is acting like a bit of a prat.

And as much as we talk about how much of a good influence Charles is, one of the things I don’t see talked about as much is how much of a part he played in Arthur’s redemption in the story. The game doesn’t hide the fact that Arthur will never truly make up for all the hurt and destruction he has caused, but he can at least try and do some good, to try and make the lives of some people in the world just a little bit less tough, in response to everything he has done up until this point. And one of the people who helps most with that is Charles. He’s always pushing Arthur to do the right thing, to make the best choice, and to help people who need it. Charles was a guiding hand that helped Arthur in following his redemption and was never afraid to tell him that even if he had done wrong in the past, that didn’t mean he couldn’t make better choices towards the end of his life.

Not only that, but Charles was a pillar for Arthur when the man was facing the hardest circumstances he’d ever experienced. As I said earlier, the gang is Arthur’s family, they have been a part of his life for most of his life, but as the game progresses, he watches that family fall apart. He loses people who he views as siblings, he loses a man he viewed as a father, and the other father figure in his life is turning against him, accusing him of betrayal, and had left him to die with someone holding a knife to his throat. Not to mention that Arthur is facing all of this alongside the knowledge that he doesn’t have long left. Now more than ever, Arthur needs a support system, people who have his back and will stand by him when everything else is slipping away. And he has that. He has Sadie (who could be discussed in an entire post of her own) and he has Charles. Charles stood by Arthur when he needed him most, reassuring him that he still had people fighting in his corner, still had people on his side, as well as helping him to stay on the right track and make better choices, even in the face of hardship and a growing sense of hopelessness. Because Charles understands what it’s like. This man has been through so much, has lost everything, and despite that has remained true to what is right and has never given up striving for good. As Arthur himself says in his journal, Charles is truly a good man at heart, despite the life he has led, and he uses that to help Arthur hold on.

But the thing is, it isn’t just Charles who helps Arthur. Arthur helps him in return. Charles is used to living a life of solitude and when the world takes everything away, and treats you like you don’t belong, you begin to believe that there is no place for you, that you will never find your space anywhere. And we know that this is something that he struggles with. He struggles to know where he fits in, or what the point of anything is, because everything he has been through just seems to drill home this idea that he doesn’t deserve to be here, that there is no place for someone like him in this world. And this is even more prevalent as the gang falls apart because for Charles, he’d finally found that place where he felt like he could belong and be a part of something, only for it to all be taken away. The one place he could even consider a home is in shatters and his friends are dying. For Charles that feels like it would be more than a sure sign from the universe that he doesn’t deserve to belong anywhere.

However, through all of that, he has Arthur, who has always stood up for him and told him how much he matters. Even the minor camp interactions feed into that, with Arthur telling Charles how much he likes having him around, and how he hopes for Charles to stick with them because they need him. Arthur agrees to help Charles with the Wapiti Tribe, he goes to Charles when he needs someone he trusts, and he makes sure that Charles knows just how important and appreciated he is. For a man like Charles that is a huge deal and means far more to him than I think any of us ever really appreciate. Arthur made sure to incorporate him into his family and make it known that he belonged. When we see Charles go off at the end of the epilogue to find a place to settle down, we see a man who has come to appreciate himself and his worthiness more, with the help of the people who supported him throughout those years, including Arthur.

These two characters helped each other in ways that I can’t even begin to summarise in this post. The bond that grew between them was so special and I cannot argue that Charles and Arthur were so integral in sculpting the lives that each other led. “Always” is my favourite Charles line because it encapsulates everything about that bond: the trust, the respect, the love, the appreciation, the drive to help in any way they can. It breaks my heart to know that they never had the opportunity to know each other for longer, but I will always appreciate, no matter how brief, just how beautiful that relationship was.

Always

[aboardthescheherazade]

Part 2 to the Rastapopoulos timeline post. I call these two the "Ironic End" and the "Bad End":

Ironic end: After the events of Flight 714 to Sydney, an amnesiac traveller wakes up on the beach of a tropical island. The locals take him in, and they figure out just enough to know he's probably from the Mediterranean; maybe he fell off a migrant ship, but there haven't been any travelling worker ships in the area recently. Eventually, he puts together some kind of new name, and begins working at the docks to make a living. He's drawn to a handful of things - ships and new movies, mainly - but nothing clear ever comes through. He lives the last years of his life as a short-tempered but nice-enough port foreman who mostly keeps to himself outside of work. His coworkers in town mourn him, but over time, he just fades away into the rest of the island's history.

Bad end: Playing yet another role, and likely having gone through some degree of ego death, "Endaddine Akass" emerges in the tropics as a spiritual advisor and art collector. His "practices" are mostly just a mishmash of Christianity, Islam, Daoism, and Rastafarianism. He gets underground plastic surgery to subtly alter his face just enough to be able to appear in the media without someone recognizing mugshots from his "past life". Rastapopoulos has found a new way to worm his way into the public zeitgeist, and all it took was completely sacrificing his identity and his dignity. This design came about while talking with ProfCal...his Alph-Art version would take place during the late 1930s-early 40s, and it got me thinking about a period-accurate Endaddine Akass. I adapted a number of details from Herge's speculative design, most notably the faux third eye, and the sort-of Magen David at the top of his staff. I can tell it's not meant to outright signal Judaism; I see it as an example of 20th Century western esoterism's rampant cultural appropriation (i.e. he'd probably try to claim it's a hexagram symbolizing elements, or something), plus, it's regionally accurate: the Magen David is an important piece of iconography in Rastafarianism. It was a very new religion in the late 1930s, which would make Akass fairly predatory for stealing aspects of Rastafarian imagery. (We also considered him pretending to be White Jamaican, accent and all, which would go to show how far "Akass" is willing to humiliate his old self just to live as a debutante. Have you ever heard Steven Seagal pretend to be Jamaican? That's what we're dealing with here)

Regardless of the ending you choose to follow, I still tried to make either of them relatively within Herge's writing style. He was fond of using big finales, and themes of karma and turnabout, so I considered both of these when pondering Rastapopoulos's fate at the end of the Tintin series. (I have thought way too much about Rastapopoulos, I know. The shmuck haunts me like an awful poltergeist ^^;)

[goron-king-darunia]

Anon-enthusiastic-about-Richter here (but no longer anon)

I should probably replay the game before deep diving on details like this, but there is something about Emil that confuses me -

So, as part of Rata, he took the body of Aster when Aster was 16, yeah? And in current times, Emil is said to be 16. Does that imply he cannot age? Essentially being frozen in time within another person's body, at the moment of their death :') talk about a ghost from the past.

Also, would you happen to have a link to where I could read the Aster + Richter manga in English? 👉👈

Sorry for the late reply! I figured it was you after seeing you digging through all the good Richter stuff on my blog!

To be honest, I should also replay the game soon too because I've gotten confused about some lore too. But as for Emil, I don't think that's the case. From what I know of the timeline, Richter and Aster met Ratatosk 2 years before the start of the game, when Richter was 18 and Aster was 16. Richter beat Ratatosk so hard he turned into a core and Tenebrae took that core. Richter and Aqua found Solum's core and used it to brainwash Brute and took over the Vanguard and militarized it, changing it from a charity to a major powerhouse faction. But this was mostly to get enough warm bodies out looking for Tenebrae so they could find Ratatosk's core. All of this apparently took 2 or so years. Maybe a year and a half. It seems like fairly soon after getting Ratatosk's core, Brute organized the Blood Purge to root out dissenters. So when Marta frees Tenebrae and wakes up Ratatosk, which leads to Emil being created and Aster's form being used.

The logic of the game lore. is that Ratatosk needed to blend in with humanity in order to recover, so he created his new form based on the last human he remembered seeing, which was Aster at age 16. Therefore, 2 years later, Emil's form is a recreation of that. Aster at age 16. The rest of the game where we start playing takes place about 6 months after the Blood Purge. So the youngest Emil could look is 16 and a half and the oldest he could look, assuming Aster was a day away from turning 17 when he died, would be 17 and a half. So the age range is really small. But the point is he would only look 6 months older than Aster himself would have looked if he had continued to age from age 16.

It's possible we're meant to interpret this as Emil/Ratatosk being unable to age or change form in a way that would resemble mortal aging. But I think the more likely explanation is that even if Ratatosk had considered trying to look older, it would be such a minor consideration to not even be worth the effort or, because Aster never reached age 18, it simply would not have been possible for him to predict what Aster would have looked like in 2 years.

The way I interpret it is that Ratatosk basically constructed a "mortal-looking" vessel so that he could blend in with humans and recover and to do that he just copied Aster's form. So he theoretically could age, he just doesn't get a chance to because he's only hiding in Luin for 6 months before Tenebrae and Richter and Marta show up.

So it isn't exactly that he's frozen in time, but he is picking a form that is an exact replica from Aster just before he died. So while Emil's journal in game suggests that Ratatosk picked the form at random because Aster just happened to be the last human he saw, I can definitely see Richter interpreting this as animosity on Ratatosk's part. We have no way of knowing because Ratatosk himself never explicitly says WHY he picked Aster's form. Maybe he really did want to give Richter maximum heartache. Maybe Emil is right and it was completely by chance. Maybe the only consideration was "pick a human that I can successfully impersonate" and Aster was the most recent dead person. Maybe Ratatosk knew he would be safer impersonating someone that Richter wouldn't want to hurt.

If we're meant to take the journal as canon and we want to believe Emil, it really was just happenstance. But there's interesting implications that can be explored in fanfic. But we never get an explanation if Ratatosk's form can age or change without him dying or changing it himself. The game never gives us a long enough canonical timeframe to see if Ratatosk and Emil are capable of aging. Or if they can grow facial hair. Or if Richter can. There's just game logic there of "we don't need to model that and no one will ask so..."

So as far as I know, it's free real-estate. Maybe he can age and the game just didn't give us enough time. Maybe he can't age and Richter's going to be stuck in the Ginnungagap for 900-1000 years with an ageless copy of Aster. Who knows? But it's juicy to think about.

As for the manga! It's called Onshuu no Richter. As far as I know, it's not hosted anywhere. But my partner @actualaster has a masterpost with links to download the chapters and the full work both raw and translated! Here's the link for ya!

It still breaks my heart to this day. I hope you enjoy!

Also I'm gonna tag the resident Ratatosk expert @aerypear just in case they know something about Ratatosk's ability or inability to age his form.

[lumilasi]

I originally meant to first make all 4 House staff for Harrow's manor (the dad of my story's protagonist) before posting, but I decided to plop this out already. Did this a bit differently by basically just using the sketch again, no lineart.

IDK exactly why I decided that in this new form (while not born there) he comes from Romania, but I'm guessing its because I've seen glimpses of content related to the country a lot recently (A documentary on tv, that tumblr post about Romanian nuns helping out that kid scared of vampires, a game taking place there, etc), so it was in my brain when thinking of his origins lol

His bio below(W.I.P)

Name: Mihail (His surname is not an actual surname of his, he's just started using it jokingly when people ask, it is just the Romanian word for dog. Mihail has no surname as he doesn't recall his birth family)

Age: Unknown, but he is likely between 50-70, so among Grimmhounds he's considered to be an adult in their mid-to-late 30's, if converted to human years (Generally in this story, beings' lifespans tend to be measured in centuries, so they have a "true" age, and "human equivalent" age)

Family: birth family unknown, honorary little sister figure Scarlet Duffy

Friends: Harrow Araknos/Blackthorne (Soul eater & his boss) Thalia Swanson (The butler/head of staff) Roman Bosco (later, a former member of the same Grimmhound pack he was in)

Love interest: Aiden O'kelley (Human, their gardener)

Occupation: The chef/guardian of the Blackthorne Manor

Abilities:

Regeneration: His kind regenerate most injuries insanely fast, and are generally among the most durable land-dwelling beast types outside non-flying drakes.

Transformation: He has two forms; The humanoid skull-hound form, and a full black dog form the size of which he can change at will. He is insanely fast, stealthy and durable in these forms, with the skull-hound form being physically strongest, and the full dog form being fastest.

Shadows: He can merge with shadows to hide himself very well even in human form, and can attack you through them.

Bite force/claws: He has very strong bite force and can actually tear people's throats open even in human form. His claws can also be used to easily cut limbs off and damage metal.

Keen senses: Being a predator type of beast, his sense of smell is about as accurate as you'd expect from a trained bloodhound, he also has excellent night vision, and can pick up the faintest of sounds from hundreds of meters away. Also he's generally just very aware of his surroundings.

human weaponry: He's good at whipping out a knife and stabbing your eyes out with it when you least expect it.

Weaknesses:

Due to his disdain for his past self, Mihail tends to hold back too much in some situations, where he might get hurt needlessly. The same time though, in other cases he might use too much force, which may require some clean-up help from Harrow and Thalia.

He still has some bad habits from his past, namely he tends to come off as really rude and crude/blunt to people who don't know him well, even when he's not intending to do so. That's just how the group he was with talked. He tends to not realize when he's coming off rude either, and needs to be told about it.

Light magic spells are naturally effective towards his kind, as they tend to dispel the skull-dog humanoid form and force them to turn back to full humans, which is their weakest form. It does specifically need to be some sort of sacred type of light, you can't just whip out a flashlight to force them to transform. (Unless it has somehow blessed light-bulb I suppose...)

he's very protective over Scarlet, and would do anything for her.

Personality:

Mihail is very stoic most of the time, coming off very intimidating to most people. Despite this he is a fairly chill guy with a good - albeit sometimes morbid - sense of humor. He is mischievous and absolutely takes advantage of 1.) his natural intimidating vibes, and 2.) the fact he's attractive to many people (Within reason of course)

He has a fairly strong moral backbone nowadays, perhaps to atone from his past behavior, and generally tends to be willing to help people with things they don't want to do, even if he'd find the chore boring as hell and would rather be stabbing his eyes out. (he will admit this point-blank if asked whenever he actually enjoys doing the chore in question)

While he seems quite relaxed once you get past his intimidating exterior, Mihail is always keeping an eye out for any dangers, especially around Scarlet who is a troublemaker.

Fun Facts

He began flirting with Aiden pretty soon after they met, he just didn't realize Mihail was doing so, because it was disguised with jokey comments, such as the ones about the "Ghost Dog" lurking around the manor grounds. (Also Aiden is kinda oblivious)

He ended up in the Blackthorne manor, because Scarlet wanted to go steal something from there and they got caught. The house owner (Harrow) was amused and impressed enough by her bravery and trickery, that he ended up hiring her after finding out about her situation of not really having a home.

Mihail wasn't hired properly until later, when they found out he's a good guardian AND a cook, freeing Thalia from having to be responsible for so many things at once as the only staff Harrow initially had.

He has a Slavic accent, but no one can ever place exactly where its from, not even native speakers of the language family.

The languages Mihail knows include Romanian (naturally), English, Italian, and Japanese.

His name was given to him by the old woman & her daughters Mihail initially stayed with when younger, before they were killed in a house-fire that was accidentally lit by a stray spark. (Mihail was out at the time)

He and Roman had some tension between them initially, because while Mihail was never one that personally bullied him during his time with the pack, Roman was afraid of him due to him being one of the strong ones.

[asssikawa]

pretty boy swag

i was just in a silly goofy mood, dont take it seriously pls;; gojo x gn! reader

summary: gojo being a pick me boy for you

AU where curses don’t exist; tw underaged smoking and drinking courtesy of shoko. art by @reiouta

you didn’t know how much longer you could tolerate the menace to society; satoru gojo. as of the passing recent months, he started actually acknowledging your existence after months of hanging around his acquaintances. you weren’t sure if you missed that he walked past you as if you were thin air, constantly bumping shoulders with him or gojo actually pestering you in the name of “wanting to get closer.”

walking down the empty halls of your school, you had memorized each route gojo and his group walked down… just to avoid them. an all too familiar voice followed by a song boomed in the empty hallways; dread immediately rose in you, as you attempted to pick up speed to lose track of the white haired teen. “pretty boy coming through,” he said in a sing-a-long voice, his eyes landing on your distant figure. “(name)!” he called out, making you flinch. slowly, you turned your head, a forced smile burning the sides of your mouth.

“hey gojo,” you squeaked out; you wished you could beat yourself up for sounding so meek. on gojo’s sides, two others peered out, the more tolerable ones from the group; suguru getou and shoko ieiri. a sigh of relief left your mouth upon seeing the two. getou’s usual content expression morphed into one of a sly fox.

“now gojo, it’s not nice to scare the underclassmen. you should know better,” getou said, followed up by shoko’s sarcastic tsk tsk of disappointment.

“right? what would poor utahime think about you bothering her best friend?” shoko said. she wore gojo’s sunglasses, adjusting them every now and then when they slid down her high nose bridge.

you take it back. they were just as bad as him.

gojo’s mouth opened to say something, but the bell cut him off. saved by the bell; quite literally. “get to class,” he said instead, another smirk splitting his face.

“i plan to,” you deadpanned, before hastily rushing to your first period, math. never have you wanted to be in math class so bad until gojo popped into your life. hell, you weren’t even good at math.

why had he started tormenting you out of all people? there was nothing particularly extraordinary about you; maybe it was the fact you were close to utahime? or nanami and haibara?

lost in your thoughts and endless possibilities, you had missed the bell ringing until the bubbly boy peered over your desk. his doe-like eyes scanned your dazed out face. “(name)? earth to (name)?” haibara said, waving his hand in front of your face. the taller blond man sighed, watching you finally snap out of your thoughts.

“you don’t even have any of the notes written, (name), that isn’t good for the quiz tomorrow,” nanami said, pulling out his composition book, before beckoning you to take the notebook.

“kenny,” you started.

“i’ll take that notebook right back if you call me that again.”

“you are godsent,” you said, batting your eyelashes his way. a hearty laugh emitted from haibara, his bright smile nearly lit up nanami’s mood once more.

“what’s got you thinking so hard?” haibara asked, draping his body over the seat while watching you pack up.

“surely if you’re thinking, it’s never good,” nanami muttered, earning an offended ‘hey’ from you. pressing your cheek against your balled fist, letting out a small hum. do you tell them or not?

“it’s just that, you know how gojo had never acknowledged me before? he’s been non stop pestering me these days and i’m thinking to myself; why? he couldn’t possibly like utahime and trying to get information out of me, she hates his guts!” you exclaimed, adjusting the bag over your shoulders. the duo glanced at each other, focusing back on you.

“(name), have you considered that he may like you? you know? have a crush?” haibara said, scratching the back of his head. you stayed silent for a while, pondering on the idea of gojo liking you.

“that’s a joke right,”

“why are you so pessimistic about people actually taking interest in you, romantically?” nanami asked, leaning against the desk.

“no romantic attention from anyone my entire life,” you said, standing from your seat.

“how lonely,” haibara responded.

~

the last few periods went by quicker than expected. the ring of the bell pulled you out of your thoughts, turning away from the window. it was surprisingly beautiful for this time of year; the skies were blue, soft fluffy clouds passed every now and then. the occasional gust of wind rattled windows of your class as your teacher paused his lecture. you preferred the gloomy weather, but seeing the clear skies was nice. packing up your materials and standing, you peered out the door, widening your eyes. down the hall was your trio of haibara, nanami and utahime… speaking to the other trio. utahime’s raven hair was tied in a low ponytail, a vague look of annoyance washed over on her face as gojo spoke, her expression softened every time shoko had interjected the conversation. you always wondered why the two aren’t dating yet. nanami’s eyes landed on your figure, his fingers pointed downwards towards the steps, in hopes gojo hadn’t seen you yet.

unfortunately for the both of you, he had caught notice of nanami’s subtle hand motions and followed his eyes towards you. “wow, it’s (name)! we were just waiting on you!” gojo said, his sunglasses shifted downwards, revealing his icicle blue eyes. utahime turned towards you, mouthing an ‘i am so sorry.’ reluctantly, your feet dragged along the halls, it felt as if weights were tied around your ankles. eventually, you made it towards the group; gojo’s long arm draped around your shoulders. your heart raced at the sudden gesture, heat raising to your face. “wouldn’t we be so cute together? look how big my hand is compared to theirs!” he exclaimed, his hand engulfed in yours.

“nah, you guys wouldn’t, sorry he’s so annoying, (name). no wonder why getou gets more hoes than you,” shoko said, pulling out a single cigarette and a lighter from her bag. her auburn eyes met yours, “want one?”

“shoko! how many times do i have to say not to smoke? and (name) is young too!” utahime sighed, earning a small ‘sorry’ from the girl. the black haired teen peered over at you, another sly expression settling over his face.

“say, satoru; let me compare hands with (name) too, i want to see something,”

“you can compare from afar,” gojo responded, pulling you closer to his side. a chesire cat grin split shoko’s face, slinging her arm over your body as well.

“cmon satoru, sharing is caring~” her body smelt of husky tobacco, traces of pinewood on her uniform. her breath smelt like strawberry bubblegum; her glossed lips came closer to your ear, “play along,” she whispered, her brunette strands brushing against your cheek. a snore followed by a scoff came from gojo’s scrunched up expression.

“don’t you have a bottle of vodka you should be downing? besides (name) doesn’t like girls like you,” he said, sticking out his tongue.

“well, why don’t we ask (name), what do you say?”

“don’t put them on the spot like that; seriously, you guys, you’re third years for pete’s sake,” utahime swatted shoko’s arm off your body whilst poking gojo’s side, making him squeal as he let go of you. a frown replaced his usual cocky expression.

“geez utahime, i didn’t take you as the jealous type- ouch, what was that for?” gojo exclaimed, the water bottle bouncing off his head. he rubbed his head. you stared at haibara’s sympathetic expression, still processing everything that happened within a matter of minutes.

just what the fuck was going on?

weeks had passed since that incident and things had become fairly normal again. your grades were flourishing, with the help of haibara and nanami. the three of you have been hanging out more often; utahime and shoko finally started dating. the two of them occasionally tagged along with your trio. gojo has finally stopped pestering you; you should be happy, no? you had convinced yourself that you didn’t miss the attention from the white haired teen. everything you did felt empty without his presence.

you had memorized each hallway gojo and his group walked down, passing through them; in hopes he would stop you, calling your name in his usual whiny voice. you didn’t hear his favorite song; no more him bringing you close with his lanky arms. subconsciously, you brought your hand close to your shoulders, feeling the ghost of gojo’s touch. “(name)? what are you doing here? more like, why are you standing there?” a feminine voice called out. you turned, seeing shoko standing down the hall, her bag slugged over her shoulder, a lit cigarette dangled from the corner of her lips.

“shoko,” her name left your lips in a hushed whisper. “why are you here?” she quirked her lip to the side, pursing her pink lips.

“i’m heading to see menace 1 and menace 2, now, answer my question. you hardly come around these parts,” shoko said, leaning against the wall.

“can i come with you?”

“huh… ah, you miss gojo?” overwhelming amounts of embarrassment washed over your expression; you could already sense your face radiating in heat.

“whatever! i just want to check up on him, that’s all.”

walking down the road, you and shoko conversed, her short auburn tresses blowing in the wind. the roads and sidewalks were painted orange as the sun nestled under the skyline.

“i thought you stopped smoking?” you asked, as shoko tossed the finished cigarette on the sidewalk, stomping on it.

“i’m trying for utahime, but it gets hard when i’m stressed, you know? especially with dumb and dumber,” she said, pulling out a silver flask.

“shoko!”

“what? do you want a sip?”

“no!”

sitting at the park, getou and gojo awaited shoko’s arrival. squinting his eyes at the distance, getou spotted two figures walking towards them. “looks like shoko has company,” getou mentioned, looking back at his taller companion. a frustrated groan left gojo; his glasses slipping down his face.

“good god, if she brings utahime again,” he responded, extending his arms on the bench, his legs spread out. a sly smirk twitched onto getou’s face.

“hey shoko and (name)!” getou exclaimed, waving. gojo’s half-lidded eyes shot open at your name, adjusting his sunglasses. his lanky body rose from the bench, straightening out his sluggish position. he cleared his throat, crossing his legs over each other. upon seeing getou and shoko greet one another, your eyes drifted off to the white haired male sitting in the background, avoiding eye contact with you. a crestfallen expression washed over your face, shuffling over to gojo.

“hey, gojo,” you said softly, sitting across from him. he let out a hum of acknowledgement before looking down at the painted bench. “why have you been avoiding me?”

“why have i been avoiding you? i don’t know (name), maybe just maybe, it’s because i don’t want to bother you with my advances, y’know? could be a contributor i guess, i don’t know, it’s a mystery,” gojo responded, traces of sarcasm in his usual bright voice. he was quite literally a child, huh? your mind recoiled, a frown twitching onto your face. is this who you really want to date?

“listen, i know, and i’m sorry; i just miss you a lot, okay? i like you by my side,” you muttered the last part to yourself. unfortunately for you, gojo had heard every single bit of it.

“huh? what did you say?” he teased, resting his hand on top of yours. his glasses slide down his nose, revealing his ice blue eyes. “you like me, eh?”

“don’t push it.”

the winter semester rolled by rather quickly. walking into the heated building, you removed your outside shoes and scarf. after preparing yourself for the long day, you walked down the hallway, spotting your group down the hallway. peering over the group, gojo waved at you with a big smile, his cheeks and nose tip flushed red from the cold. “babe!” he said, walking over to you with opened arms. heat rose to your face, as he wrapped his arms around you, peppering your face with small kisses. his cold fingers cupped your feverish skin. “my own personal heater,” he said.

“hey, get a room, you two,” shoko said, pulling out an unlit cigarette. utahime frowned at her, as shoko mumbled a small sorry before putting away the cigarette.

“i know miss locking lips isn’t talking,” gojo sneered back. “guys look at how cute (name) is compared to me! their hands are so small!” he gushed, pressing your warm hands against his.

if it were you four months ago, you’d rip away your hand in disgust, however, a warm smile split your face, holding onto his long slender fingers.

“look they are even holding onto me,” gojo said, as the bell rang. everyone shuffled around to their respective classes as you and your group stayed at the end of the hall. with a smirk, his white eyelashes fluttered under his sunglasses. they slowly went down his nose bridge, exposing his beautiful eyes once more. “get to class.”

[kstrolotea]

Hi! May I take part on your free readings, please?

Hmmm... about me, I'm recently playing Animal Restaurant again and I think it's very fun. I love cute animals and food but I hate when a character comes to steal, someone orders food that I can't unlock or stinks the whole place lol (I usually don't notice bc I'm tapping as fast as I can to get customers)

If there's a song (or at least one I really like) is Momotaro by Wednesday Campanella. The tale is also very lively, imagine being born from a peach (is like Kaguya being born from bamboo)

And my fav flower could be lilly of the valley, I would like to have a tattoo with some

If it's okay, it would be nice if clairvoyance or tarot is used. The questions are:

1. What's my ideal career?

2. How will be my life in three years?

3. Am I with my future spouse? (Most of the time I've had readings that sound like him)

Thank you!!!

Thank you for allowing me to read for you! Please send feedback letting me know how accurate the mentions of your current situation are and how things play out for you❤️

~

I see you working somewhere quiet. you’re at a desk in a bedroom on a rainy day. it’s possible you live in the uk, ireland, or somewhere near there. the colors of the room are a soft pink and orange with some white, beige, and browns. you work for yourself or a small company. possibly a freelance copywriter or graphic designer. things feel cozy and peaceful. you are on a call with someone who speaks softly. it is rare that you speak to people over the phone. i see you doing mainly writing. this feels creative and peaceful to you. maybe you’re writing a book in your spare time. your boyfriend makes you coffee in the kitchen for when you get off your call to take a break soon.

page of swords, the lovers, knight of swords - it will feel very fresh and inspiring. things seem balanced and warm. in a commuted relationship—engaged to be married very soon to someone you’ve known for awhile. lots of projects and activities. you are always moving on to something new. very intellectually stimulated. possibly back in school or taking a random history of poetry course.

strength - i’m psyching myself out with this one… it feels like you’ve got your eye on someone and you desperately want it to be them so you’re bringing up the topic all the time and sticking yourself to their side like one of those annoying dryer sheets you find up your butt halfway through the day and the experience of finding it completely sours your mood for the rest of the evening. more than an answer, this card feels like a warning sign for you to be patient and chill the fuck out. i’m hearing something about enjoying the present moment instead of worrying about where things are going. i’m seeing you having a boyfriend right now where you’ve been around each other for awhile but the romantic relationship is fairly new, think 3 or 4 months ish, and you keep talking about marriage. not even asking him to marry you directly, but asking him for his hypothetical opinion on wedding cakes or showing him your pinterest board of dresses and rings and it’s freaking him out to the point of wanting to break up with you. your energy feels very frantic and fluttery like a bumblebee and he’s afraid of being stung. i see him shutting down emotionally, wanting to spend way less time with you, and making excuses to be at a friends house overnight or throughout the weekend. maybe he’s planning a trip without you. do you guys live together? did you just move in together within the past couple of months? i’m seeing two toothbrushes on the bathroom sink and you talking with a mouthful of toothpaste while he’s taking a dump so maybe it’s not a new relationship but a new living situation? unless you were friends for awhile and things moved way too quickly so you’re already living together within the first 6 months of making it official. those are the words i’m hearing from his head btw “way too quickly”. you need to be more patient.

[cadopan]

I feel like you tend to answer your asks rather thoughtfully so I wanted to ask about criticisms regarding the lack of diversity in the FAWSL in general, and the English NT in particular that I've seen recently.

Just 5-8 years ago you had the likes of Rachel Yankey, Alex Scott, Eni Aluko, Dan Carter, Anita Asante etc. being front and centre for club and country and yet today that's changed, and it's more like the horde of the blonds, even at Arsenal. (the jokes when you cant tell if its Leah or Stina from the back) Looking at the academy and development squads of the big 3 and England, it is also very white. Wondering what that difference 5/8 years has made and why? At England, I'm thinking about how Mark Sampson was accused of being racist and whether selections were made that pushed up white players over black ones during the intervening years before Phil Neville (squads's been fairly consistent since Phil). Demi Stokes and Keets are like the only 2 women of colour on the squad since WWC 2019.

Ironically, I was just looking at the US She Believes roster which is full of youngsters, and their U-20 squad that is currently (?) playing at the CONCACAF championship, the diversity level is much higher. So the representation levels for the future of the USWNT is diverse, while the future of the Eng NT is looking more and more homogenous.

Thoughts?

Hello! Hm, I hadn't given as much in-depth thought to this issue until you brought it up, but it's definitely something I've taken notice of and the lack of diversity has been quite striking as a viewer of the women's game (particularly in England as you pointed out) recently.

The FAWSL (and most leagues across Europe I’m sure) are predominantly white, and this article stated that last season only 12.4% of players in the WSL are from black, Asian and minority ethnic communities which is quite a shocking stat. In the WSL’s case it could be influenced by the homegrown quota that was introduced recently, which naturally limits the intake of foreign talents but then again that doesn’t explain the lack of homegrown players of colour.

I agree, it's a fact that the "image" of the English women's footballer is inevitably becoming more and more about the blonde, white girl who is palatable to the most audiences (probably pandering to many of the sexist, narrow-minded fans from the men's game too, ngl). Especially the case with a player like Leah being pushed to the forefront as the poster girl for both club and country, as captain even. Not to say that players who represent a different image, like Keets, haven't been highlighted (for example she's always one of the female players chosen to be in Arsenal's modelling campaigns) but there really only is so much you can do when the player pool to pick from is limited to a handful of players, like you said.

I don’t think there’s one outright issue we can pinpoint that’s caused the drop in players of colour within the England NT over the past 5~8 specifically, because there’s a lot of things factored into whether a player establishes a spot in the team (manager’s preference, off-field politics, availability in the position they play in, the state of other players/rivals who are contesting for that spot, whether or not they can grasp their chance to perform at international level among limited chances, etc etc). 

But stories like the Mark Sampson issue definitely brought to light the fact that racial discrimination was one of those factors (hopefully not anymore) that caused players of colour to be sidelined. The mess of the way that was handled would’ve definitely been discouraging to fellow black players, aside from those directly involved. I wasn’t following woso at the time so I only read up on it a while back but I don’t recall any other players aside from Eni Aluko who were snubbed in and around that period of time... Drew Spence lost her spot permanently but I doubt she had the quality to be playing for the Lionesses long-term, maybe Asante? (she’s certainly too old now though).

Maybe you’ve already read this piece already since you brought up the topic, but I stumbled upon it as I was thinking about your ask and found it really interesting.

I kept up with the USWNT’s SBC roster too, it looked the most diverse I’ve seen in years! Really nice to see. I feel like there are these talents in England’s youth squads too — just to name a few: Ebony Salmon, Lauren James, Maz Pacheco, Asmita Ale, Taylor Hinds, Rinsola Babajide or underrated gems in the WSL like Elisha N’Dow or Jessica Naz, and so on... but the problem is how many of them are going to break through to the senior Lionesses squad and be able to cement a place there with all the competition 😬 that, I have no idea about and we’ll probably get a better picture as we move on from the current generation after the Euros or WC next year. 

[stewardofningishzida]

Real-Life Scary Story 11: Ether

TRIGGER WARNING: Chemical exposure

This incident happened in my first lab after I had gained a few years of experience. Before anyone is allowed to work in the lab, they have to go through a week of basic training and safety briefings. A newbie was let in recently and they had finished their safety training. I was absorbed in my own project and wasn’t in charge of training the newbies. So, I didn’t pay much attention to them besides the normal niceties such as a “hello” or “see you later”. I typically prefer to keep to myself in-person. I’ll help someone if I see they’re struggling or if they ask, but beyond that I mind my own business.

Everyone had their own little sector with a workbench and a small shelf to store supplies. Even then, it was a fairly small room. Only maybe 4 workstations in total. One tiny, locked window. Otherwise, there was just the door to the hallway and 1-2 normal air vents, plus a modest fume hood. It was almost homey, in a way. So, once I finished my classes for the day, I got to work with dissecting specimens.

After a few dissections, I started getting tired. I sat back for a second to refocus and clear my head before going for the next specimen. After pinning the next one down, I yawned and was feeling even more tired than before. I pressed on because I wanted to finish. However, I noticed that I was getting more and more sleepy. This wasn’t right. Tiredness doesn’t usually hit a person that quickly. I felt drunk. As though I had consumed several drinks within the past 10 minutes or so. That’s when my slowing mind got suspicious and I turned around (almost falling out of my chair) to see the newbie practically falling asleep at their station too. They were almost completely slumped over their desk and there was an open bottle of diethyl ether next to them. Diethyl ether was used as a surgical anesthetic (to knock people out) back in the 1800’s and was phased out around the 1960’s because of the side effects and its potential as a carcinogen (cancer-causing chemical). Said side effects are: drowsiness, excitement, dizziness, vomiting, irregular breathing, and increased saliva. High exposure to it can cause unconsciousness and even death.

I stumbled over to their station, closed the bottle, and stuck it under the fume hood. Then, I nudged the newbie and told them to get out for a while. They sluggishly obeyed and I turned on the fume hood vent, opened the door, and got out myself. Once outside the lab, I had to lecture them because they had put both of our lives at risk. Any work with chemicals like diethyl ether has to be done in the fume hood and any chemical substance that evaporates at room temperature has to stay shut in its container. I let them off with a warning, but told them that if they do it again, I have to report them. They nodded, scared when they realized how dangerous it really was.

Since we were both still loopy from ether, I had us both sit down at the desk in the hallway so we could get fresh air and clear the ether from our systems. About half an hour later, we had recovered enough to go back in and finish our work. The fumes had faded enough for things to be safe again. Newbie finished their work in the fume hood while I occasionally checked to make sure they were doing it properly. I finished collecting data from my dissections and we both went home.

Update —

As a quick note: This happened over 13 years ago when diethyl ether was still under investigation for its status as a carcinogen. Although the updated data has shown that diethyl ether is NOT carcinogenic, it is still a dangerous substance. So, just be careful. I updated this info due to a voiced concern in the comments section and I wanted to elaborate and rectify the situation. Civil discussion and updating outdated info or elaborating on context is perfectly fine. That’s all I ask.

[doomedship]

Lucy was written more mature when she was dating Nolan.

Do you think the writers are seeing the strong backlash to how Lucy and other women in the show are being written?

Even Angela's storyline is now Wesley's as the main protagonist.

She definitely was in a wider sense but this goes more to how far she's regressed than the fact that maturity was ever a key trait of Lucy's.

I think she was shown not to be very able to commit to serious relationships from the start (although I have never been able to rewatch the Nucy moments so honestly my memory is hazy of those scenes), but in a general character sense, season 1 Lucy was probably only average in her maturity. I wouldn't say she's ever been unusually mature for her age.

Which brings me into what I loved about her then.

S1 Lucy was very believable to me as a 28 year old woman with the in-between feeling that comes with being someone who's caught between being a young woman and a fully mature one in the eyes of the world.

Lucy had both the drive and determination of a woman coming into her own but also the touch of insecurity that comes with being that age and in a tough environment. i.e. Tim had her rattled a lot without much effort, and she was prone to errors and sometimes outbursts.

But as Tim correctly identified on plain clothes day, when push came to shove, Lucy had her shit together. She did the right thing and made the right calls. Her instincts were good, and she was a compassionate, competent, fearless cop (took fire and saved Tim on day 2, stopped him throwing his career away, kept him calm during the virus).

Now, the main issue is that she hasn't been tested in any way for the entire season so we can't even really say how she acts under any sort of pressure. Even in episode 1 she was sidelined from the action plot by being left behind. Her one action scene was in the Halloween episode but I can't class that as a serious scene given Tamara whooping on the sidelines and the faint ridiculousness of Lucy suddenly knowing how to fight that way anyway.

She hasn't been tested the way she constantly was in season 1 and her personal life is treated like a joke, so how are we supposed to see her as a fully fledged and mature character? There's nothing here to go on. No emotional exploration, no idea whether she's affected by the traumatic events of her past. Just a whole lot of jokes and complaints where she certainly isn't coming across as mature.

As for whether the show knows it, I have no idea. I have seen some comments addressed to various individuals addressing the concerns (including today - I'm fairly confident the writer at least saw the comments about the bet reflecting really badly on Lucy).

It's certainly disappointing that nobody within the show seems to have caught the fact that it's become so imbalanced against the women and non-white characters in recent episodes and done something about it.

As you rightly say, Wesley's arc has dominated Angela's, such that her role now chiefly exists with her home and baby. Same as Harper, whose main storylines have been dating a variety of men and then cheating on them (?!). Grey and Thorsen have been very minimal presences this season.

The characters who have had actual plots where they are the central driver are Nolan and Wesley. Tim has also got upcoming storylines about him and he also had a promotion storyline plus the Jerry thing.

Even guest characters with proper storylines... Jerry, who got a whole episode about himself, which is frankly more than Lucy gets. Nolan's brother too.

So yeah, we can see who gets the lion's share of the storytelling here.

Bailey gets a much larger role than any other woman but she's still window dressing to Nolan. She doesn't exist without his plotlines, and let's not get into the many ways in which she's an upsetting character.

Unfortunately I'm not sure the show is self aware enough to address this. I don't know why things have taken such a dangerous turn on this front, for a show that once stood out for a fairly empowered vision of women in the force.

(Captain Andersen, we miss you.)

[crispycrimebrulee]

May I request prompt 11 “Not now, I’m serious, not now.” “B-But you said tomorrow yesterday.” with Kurapika?

Prompt #11: "Not Now, I'm Serious, Not Now." "But you said tomorrow yesterday." [Gender Neutral Reader!] {Also available on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31680662 }

Tomorrow, Tomorrow...

You poked your head around the corner, peeking into the living room turned make-shift office where Kurapika sat, clearly deep in his work. You pouted just a little, remembering he’d said he’d be finished in “just a few more minutes”... about 2 hours ago. It wouldn’t be too much of an issue knowing the line of work Kurapika’s in and how much time and effort it requires, but this past week he was supposed to take off for a bit of rest, and he’d instead taken it to work double time, his nose buried in papers and documents and leads on who knows what. You slinked back into your room and flopped onto the bed, thinking about how now, Kurapika being so deep in his work had become an (slightly trivial issue, at best) issue.

Even more so an issue that he’d been promising up, down, left and right that he’d take you to a new museum that had opened, something that the two of you enjoyed doing in your free time. The promising had started a week prior when you first came home, bouncing on your heels about seeing a new museum on your way home from work and that the two of you just had to go, as well as visit the nice restaurants nearby, making for a nice date as the days grew warmer.

⋆✦⋆A Week Prior⋆✦⋆

Your pace slowed as your eyes lingered on a building that had been shrouded in construction tarps for the past year or so. There was already a substantial amount of people entering and exiting the building, excited snippets of conversation from people walking past you in regards to the new establishment. Looking around, there were various flyers and banners, and a few what seemed to be staff members handing out pamphlets on the steps of the building. Taking one and exchanging a quick smile with an employee, you gasped, realizing it's a new museum that the city had put into the works a year prior, and now it was finally open to the public. Flipping through the pages the small blurbs of information about the exhibits and varieties of topics within the museum all but made you jump around where you stood. Without hesitation, the first thought that came into your head was how much Kurapika would adore this museum, seeing as he’d essentially visited a majority of the museums in the city you two lived. He’d been working so much lately, and recently there’d been talk of having some time off so he would be free to visit the museum and finally enjoy himself for a little while, and finally go on a much needed date.

You’d finally made it home, after spending your entire commute looking up information about the museum and you were beyond excited about the whole idea of a nice museum date and catching up with Kurapika. You’d come through the front door practically radiating, and Kurapika couldn’t help but smile in lieu of your excitement, wondering what's gotten into you during the day. For the whole night you talked his ears off about the museum and he seemed just as interested in it as you were, mentioning how he would have some time off and that he promised he’d bring you there, and even bring you to dinner afterwards…

But that was a week ago, and he’d spent that week promising every other day that he’d bring you, promising on Sunday that he’d bring you on Monday, only for Monday to roll around and saying he’d bring you on Wednesday...just for Wednesday to roll around and promise to bring you on Friday. Now it was the middle of the next week, and that museum remained unvisited. The night before, he had promised to bring you today, saying (with a hint of exasperation) that he was finished up with his work and would have time to go on that date, and he knows he’s been putting it off and he’s very sorry and that-

Well, ‘tomorrow’ rolled around, and now ‘tomorrow’ was today.

Where were you?

Sat on your bed, discovering that your dresser had become fairly dusty… and that your closet needed some reorganizing… and that your hair needs some brushing… in fact, the mirror needed to be cleaned as well…

You frowned, getting up and peeking around the doorframe corner once again, catching a glimpse of Kurapika’s hair once again. It was as if he could feel your eyes on him, because he slowly turned and met your eyes just as you hid behind the corner again. He only sighed and the sound of typing picked up again. You shuffled off to your closet, running your fingers over sweaters and jackets, picking off pieces of debris from your shoes and removing specs of dust. You went and peeked at Kurapika again, his eyes automatically finding yours and he pursed his lips as you slowly looked away.

This time, you walked out into the living room and stood behind the chair he was sitting on, allowing your fingers to play with his hair. Fluffing his hair around and moving to gently pinch his cheeks, Kurapika leaned his face away from your hands, only for you to attempt to hold him there as you placed a kiss on top of his head. He attempted to lean forward to get back to his work, you placed another kiss on his face, and another, and another…

“Y/n, please…” he muttered, his shoulders slumping as he sighed.

“You’ve been working all morning, Pika….” you let your hands rest on his shoulders.

“I know, I know..”

You moved around the chair to sit by him, moving his arm to rest your head in his lap. He looked down at you and then looked away, moving slightly to continue typing.

“Pikaaa…”

“...Yes?”

“When are we going?”

“Going where?” he asked, seeming genuinely perplexed as he slowed his typing.

“The museum!” you scowled and looked up at him, huffing as you did so.

He sighed, rubbing his face as he glanced out the window as he continued to type.

“Kurapika when….” you whined, wiggling a little on the chair.

“Not now, y/n.” he answered, picking up a folder and flipping through papers.

“But you said-”

“Not now. I’m serious, not now.” he was a little more stern this time, despite not making eye contact with you.

“...but you said ‘tomorrow’ yesterday…” you whispered, gently kicking a pillow off the chair.

Kurapika sighed and leaned back in the chair as you sat up, glancing at his papers strewn about the coffee table.

Work, work, work, even when he has time off.

You got up from the chair and went to your room, going into the bathroom briefly to clean that mirror that you noticed earlier. You heard Kurapika follow suit, and you saw him standing in the doorway as you went and started slowly cleaning up around the room. You stopped to look at him, tilting your head to the side as he just watched you quietly, almost analyzing your movements. You attempted to pay him no mind, taking your time in dusting the dresser and cleaning the window sill until he snuck up behind you, placing his forehead on your shoulder. You couldn’t see his eyes but you could feel him breathe against your skin as he shyly moved his hand to yours, fiddling with your fingers.

“Y/n…”, he seemed almost timid as he spoke, rubbing his forehead against your shoulder.

“Would you like to go now, sunshine?” he asked, finally lifting his head to look at you, offering a weak smile.

“Aren’t you busy…” you pointed out, but he shook his head, tugging at your hand.

“I want to take a break and visit the museum with you, I did say today after all.”

“Are you sure? You want to go right now?” you asked, getting excited as you glanced out the window. It was only the late afternoon, and since it was getting warm out, it wouldn’t get dark until much later. You’d be able to go to the museum and have a nice dinner outside at a restaurant and still be able to walk home with some light, maybe enough to watch the sunset on your way home. Kurapika nodded, holding back giggles as you once again bounced in your spot, and you gave a small cheer, running over to your closet to pick out something to wear. He trailed after you, picking out something nice yet casual to wear to your museum date, excited about the new exhibits you’d get to experience.

[natromanxoff]

Queen live at National Bowl in Milton Keynes, UK - June 5, 1982 (Part-1)

(x)

It was originally intended for the band to play this concert at Arsenal Stadium in Highbury, but it was moved to Milton Keynes for the same reason the Leeds show wasn't played at the famed Old Trafford. It's also worth noting that the band wanted to play at London's famous Royal Albert Hall as well, but the plan was never orchestrated as there was much fear that the weight of Queen's lighting rig would make the ceiling cave in. An early tour itinerary listed two London shows (June 4 and 5) on the agenda. The Teardrop Explodes were among the bands (the same line-up as last week in Leeds) who opened for Queen at this show. Their guitarist, Julian Cope, stood before about 40 thousand Queen fans and introduced the next song as being probably the best song they had ever heard, prompting someone near the stage to throw a toilet seat at him, which missed (people are known to bring cameras and certain substances to concerts, but toilet seats?). Lemonade bottles were then thrown at the guitarist which he tossed back into the audience. The complete Queen concert was filmed. A shortened video was shown on UK TV on a show called "The Tube" in January 1983 (omitting Action This Day, the bit of Las Palabras de Amor, Back Chat, Get Down Make Love, part of the guitar solo, Crazy Little Thing Called Love, Another One Bites The Dust, and Sheer Heart Attack), and on MTV in the US in August 1983 (the latter was a simulcast, with the audio being broadcast on FM radio in stereo, on the west coast, at least). The video was edited by Gavin Taylor, who was later invited by the band to direct the now famous video at Wembley Stadium in 1986. An even shorter version (about 50 minutes long) of the Milton Keynes video was shown on UK TV in 2001 (and many times since). Both the Milton Keynes and Wembley shows would eventually be released on DVD uncut. The 2004 official release of this show (both on CD and DVD) is called "Queen On Fire: Live At The Bowl". The DVD is a beautiful document of Queen's show at the time, packed full of classic Queen moments. There are also extras from 1982 shows in Vienna and Tokyo. After a great version of Play The Game, Freddie essentially apologizes to the audience for much of the latest album's content: "Now most of you know that we've got some new songs out in the last week. For what it's worth we're gonna do a few songs in the funk/black category, whatever you call it. That doesn't mean we've lost our rock and roll feel, okay? I mean it's only a bloody record. People get so excited about these things! We just wanna try out a few songs. This is Staying Power." For some reason part of the speech was removed for the CD release of "Live At The Bowl." Without a doubt this is his definitive live delivery of the song, pulling off all of the stops. Mercury is at his peak tonight. Somebody To Love has been a vocal adventure of Freddie's for the past couple years. His intro is different every night, as is his solo spot towards the end. The version captured here on film is surely one of his best. Before launching into the familiar piano theme, he asks the audience in a moment for the ages, "Are you ready?" And in excitement, "Huh? Are you ready brothers and sisters?" Part way through his vocal exchange with the audience in Now I'm Here, Freddie says, "C'mon, we're gonna make you sing like Aretha Franklin." At the end of the successful duel, he jokingly says, "Right, you can join the band!" The r&b influence is never more evident than it is here, and it makes for a classic version of the song. Brian breaks a string just before his guitar solo in Dragon Attack. While he switches to a Red Special copy, John Deacon gets to play the bass solo as it's heard on the record - the one and only time he has the chance to do it. It's on the fly, and he nails it note for note. "Las Palabras de Amor" was released as a single a few days ago, and Brian plays a small bit of it on his 12-string acoustic before Love Of My Life. He then mentions how the band won't be playing their "song of peace" tonight, as he calls it. This remains the only show where the Hot Space ballad would be referenced. Brian's guitar briefly cuts out during his solo spot, a moment that was edited out of the 1983 TV broadcasts (and slightly edited on the CD release) but seen uncut on the DVD. Brian's guitar tech is seen rushing on and off stage within seconds, having quickly resolved the issue (it was likely a sticky pickup switch). About half way through Sheer Heart Attack, Brian sneaks in the riff from I Go Crazy an octave up, and much faster, to match the tempo of the energetic News Of The World rocker. The song would be dropped from the set after this show, only to emerge again late in the pending North American tour. This would be Morgan Fisher's last show with the band as the touring keyboardist. A number of theories abound about his departure, including butting heads with Mercury's personal manager Paul Prenter or his apparent fear of flying, but it was simply a case of him moving on to other gigs (Fisher confirmed in a 2009 interview that he has never been afraid of airplanes). The CD and DVD releases would be patched up a bit, most notably in the third verse of Fat Bottomed Girls where Freddie's voice cracked badly on "locality," as well as for "now I'm here, now I'm there." Roger's timing with the guitar delays at the end of May's solo spot was bit off at the show, but this is fixed up as well. The sound quality as a whole is much better than the broadcasts, but there are a couple differences in the mix - some of Brian's backing vocals (particularly at the end of Somebody To Love) can be clearly heard in the broadcast mix but were brought down for the official releases, and compression has been added to Roger's snare drum, giving it a much fatter sound compared to Queen Rock Montreal. Brian May and Roger Taylor are interviewed before the show, as shown on the Bowl DVD and the original TV broadcasts. Brian reveals that he really enjoys playing Play The Game. He explains, "You've done your leaping about, and you've made your statement on your entry. And then you can settle down and start really playing something." Roger says his current favourite is Under Pressure. On the day before this show Freddie's boyfriend at the time had bitten him between his thumb and forefinger during a fight, causing it to bleed profusely and require stitches. On the DVD, Freddie is seen tossing the bandage around just before coming on stage. The sixth picture was submitted by Fabio Minero, and the eighth is from Alessio Rizzitelli. The second set was taken by Brenski.

(x)

Fan Stories

“At the time, I was living on the Mull Of Kintyre on the West coast of Scotland. I remember being elated at getting tickets for the last gig of the UK tour. I always tried to get 'last night' tickets, because the band were famous for always going a little more 'over the top' on each of their tour's final nights. So, we drove down from Scotland, which took an eternity with fuel and meal stops, and stayed at the in-law's on the south coast of England. The next day we set for the 'new-town' of Milton Keynes, about 100 miles or so, away. We got there quite early before the gates opened and the weather was unsettled, lightly raining for about five minutes nearly every other hour. The support bands for the day were 'Teardrop Explodes', who had a fairly big hit with a song called 'Reward'. I quite liked Julian Cope and his band, but this WAS a rock gig, and the audience weren't generally as receptive to this brass backed 'new romantic' style of music. The customary sea of lemonade bottles headed towards the stage ensued. Now it was over twenty years ago, and the memory starts to fade a bit after a while, so I'm not sure whether 'Heart' were next on, or 'Joan Jett and the Blackhearts'. Either way, both bands played well, and were most enjoyable. Joan Jett had recently had a very big hit with 'I Love Rock'n'Roll' (very recently covered by Britney Spears), and the crowd loved that one. This was prior to 'Heart' having a major hit in the UK, but they were at that time an established and well known band. Looking at the stage, there were these items that looked like little vehicles hanging from the gantry, we later found out that these were individual self contained lighting platforms with a guy sat in each directing three spotlights wherever they were required to do so. The Queen set itself started with an extended backing tape from the intro of Flash Gordon. Most of you will have seen the video of this gig, so I won't labour on about what they played too much. Only that the crowd, as a whole, weren't into the 'Hot Space' numbers that much. Personally, I was watching my favourite band, so I didn't really care what they played, as long as it was theirs. The bits cut out of the video, included an intro to 'Las Palabras De Amor' from Brian, (just before 'Love Of My Life'), though they never actually played the whole song, Brian announced that they were not doing their song of peace tonight. Brian's two-day guitar solo was edited out, as was 'Fat Bottomed Girls', the intro harmonies on this did come across as pretty iffy, and of all songs, they also edited out 'Crazy Little Thing Called Love', much to my disappointment, as I'd heckled Freddie about his ability as a guitarist, and 'stone me', he only went and answered me. Knebworth '86 was a much better show, but I know I'm lucky enough to have had the honour to be able to compare them.”  - Steve_C/Kes

Part-2

Part-3

[arcturusreads]

PLEASE DROP A PT 2 OF PRAYERS FOR THE PLUMBER

Prayers for the Plumber Part Two

You can find part one here

I hope you enjoy this one! And I might just have a part three in mind...

It had been a full day since the Hayes clan had descended upon Meredith house. Thankfully, the kids had gotten along well enough and there hadn’t been any issues with them. Bailey had been basking in the fact that there were more boys in the house that he could talk to.

With Irene and Cormac both at work, Meredith was currently keeping an eye on all five of the kids not that Cormac’s son really needed adult supervision. The two of them were set up in the living room finishing off their homework whilst her own kids were in the back garden playing. Relishing in the calm and quiet, Meredith had sat herself down on the dining table with her paperwork and tablet, fuelled by a large mug of coffee she was sure would see at least three refills before her work was done.

She’d lost herself reading a research paper when someone had cleared their throat. Jumping a little she looked up to see Liam and Austin standing by the table, sheepish looks on both of their faces.

“Sorry, Dr Grey,” Austin murmured.

She shook her head smiling at them, “Don’t worry about it, I should have been paying more attention. And I thought I told you both to call me Meredith.” It was odd having two kids who were living with her call her Dr Grey, she wanted them to feel comfortable around the house. “Is everything okay?

Meredith couldn’t help but be slightly concerned. Cormac had often spoken about how independent his kids now were. They liked doing their own thing, didn’t need anyone to keep an eye on them and were fairly self-sufficient. So, hackles were raised when they had decided to come over to her.

“Uh, yeah. Actually, we were wondering if we could talk to you…” Austin began to trail off, feeling slightly awkward and stupid that he should even ask her.

When Cormac had first brought up the like of Dr Grey at home, the boys were immediately curious. They didn’t take a whole load of interest in Cormac’s colleagues but they knew that he didn’t really speak to a lot of them when they were in Switzerland. He wasn’t particularly close to anyone but Dr Grey was something that he couldn’t seem to stop mentioning. The boys were pretty sure that Cormac didn’t even realise how much he brought her up in conversation.

So, after the second week of hearing about her, Austin and Liam had decided to do some snooping online. Typing in the words Meredith Grey came up with multiple articles on the woman that the boys were pretty sure was the one their Dad didn’t stop going on about. She was successful and obviously busy so Austin felt like an idiot for disturbing her.

“Yeah, sure. Pull up a chair,” she nodded to the two seats on one side of her.

Feeling a little relief wash over them, the boys took a seat, glad that Meredith hadn’t just turned them away.

“Da said that you lost your husband a couple of years ago.” Liam hadn’t been quite sure how to bring this topic up and couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty at the mention of it. He had seen the way his dad got when their mom was mentioned.

A sad smile crossed Meredith face, “Yeah, it’s been around six years now.”

Before Liam could carry on, Austin interrupted. “Sorry, we didn’t mean to bring it up.”

“No, no. It’s okay, did you guys want to ask something?”

The ache of losing Derek had never completely left her. There were days where it hit her like a tsunami wave, where it took every ounce of her strength to get through the day when her kids were the only reason that she was able to survive. Today, that ache wasn’t all-consuming. There were two kids in front of her that had lost their mother, they’d watched her die. So, if they had questions they wanted to ask, or just wanted to talk to her about it then she could be there for them.

“Have you dated someone since then?” Austin looked down at his hands as he asked.

That wasn’t the question that Meredith had been expecting but she still answered. “I have but it took some time. Dating other people… it’s never once meant that I stopped loving Derek. He’s always with me.”

Austin slowly nodded as she spoke. It was the answer that he had wanted to hear. Abigail had told both Liam and Austin to make sure that their dad eventually moved on when the time was right. At the time, they’d agreed, wanting to do anything their mother had wanted them to do. They’d also spoken about to their aunt. Irene had been worried that Cormac would end up spending the rest of his days lonely, especially as the boys got older and went to college. They’d all come to the conclusion that within the next year they were going to get him on a dating app.

The reality of it was different though. Cormac hadn’t been with anyone since Abi had passed away. He hadn’t shown interest in anyone, so their mother’s final wish had been pushed to the back of their mind. Until recently when the boys could tell that the mere mention of a certain General Surgeon was enough to change his demeanour.

They knew, in their heart of hearts, that their dad would never stop loving Abigail. They saw the way he still looked over the old photo albums, a softness taking over his eyes. They heard the way he spoke about her like she was still the breath of fresh air in his life. Hearing it from someone else though, someone who had lost the person they were meant to spend the rest of their life with, gave both of the boys a little more comfort.

“Could I ask you something else?”

“Sure,” Meredith had pushed her work to the side, giving the boys her full attention.

Austin looked out of the kitchen window, glancing at the three kids playing out there. It had only then struck him how young they must have been when their dad had passed away. He wondered how many memories of him were actually solidified in their mind.

“How did you kids take it? I’m sorry if I’m being nosey but…”

“But you want to know and that’s understandable. You aren’t being nosey.” Meredith sighed, thinking back to the first time she had told them. “Zola’s the only one who really remembers Derek. Bailey was too young, and I only found out I was having Ellis after he had passed away. Zola was the one who found it hardest to get her head around, it took a lot of reassuring that no one was ever going to replace her dad. I wouldn’t ever want that but my kids… sometimes I think they’re smarter than me.” She laughed, they were Derek’s kids, alright. “They want me to be happy, Ellis wants me to find my second Prince Charming but it’s not always going to be straightforward. For them or for me.”

“We think dad wants to date!” Liam suddenly blurted out.

His brother quickly jabbed him in the ribs, making him wince. “What? It’s true!”

“Oh,” Meredith was a little shocked. The past couple of months, she had thought there was something going on between them. Neither of them had outwardly mentioned it, of course, but she had honestly thought that there had been something there. Meredith quickly schooled her face into a neutral expression.

“Would that be okay with the two of you? Because I’m sure your dad wouldn’t want to do anything that would make you both uncomfortable.” Meredith couldn’t help it, but half of her mind was on the conversation and the other half was trying to figure out who the hell Cormac was considering dating.

The boys looked at each other. They’d had their own conversations about it when Cormac had been at work, or after one of his long conversations about Meredith. They hadn’t liked the idea at first, hated it if they were honest. But over time they’d realised that this is exactly what their dad needed and what their mom had wanted. Plus, they were pretty sure that if he started to dare someone then that should have less time to yell at them. They smiled; both having come to the same conclusion.

“I think after talking to you about it, we’d be pretty cool with him dating.”

[robininthelabyrinth]

Fire and Light (ao3) - on tumblr: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5

- Chapter 6 -

For his trip to the Cloud Recesses, Wen Chao was assigned a bodyguard of his own, a man introduced to them as Wen Zhuliu – not his actual name, of course. Wen Ruohan handed out his surname like a gift, spreading his poison to as many people as possible, and this Wen Zhuliu was apparently one of his most highly prized finds.

“They call him the Core-Melting Hand,” Wen Xu told the children. “And it’s not an exaggeration – he has a technique that can actually melt a person’s golden core.”

Personally, Nie Mingjue thought that techniques like that, however frightening, were all a bunch of trash in the end – a technique of that sort was flashy, impressive, but it had only two uses: to scare people or to turn the tide of a single battle against fellow cultivators, and for the run-of-the-mill work of night-hunts was totally pointless. It required such immense focus and dedication to puzzle out that it left no room for anything else, meaning this Wen Zhuliu probably didn’t know how to do anything practical, even as he thought himself better than others.

The man looked it, too. His face seemed older than he probably actually was in years, with an expression of detachment and ennui that made him come off as arrogant, or at minimum as snobbish, despite being nothing more than a tool for Wen Ruohan to use up and cast aside.

He’d probably be a bad influence on Wen Chao, Nie Mingjue thought, frowning to himself. He would need to have a word with Wen Chao before he left – tell him to trust his own instincts, to avoid things that made him uncomfortable, to reach out to trustworthy adults in the Lan sect if he thought he needed help. Even if this Wen Zhuliu wanted to make trouble on Wen Ruohan’s behalf, it would be difficult for him to act if Wen Chao used his youth and desire to please his father as an excuse to obey the rules…

A hand touched his shoulder and Nie Mingjue flinched, his hand flying to Baxia’s hilt – he was never without her comforting weight anymore – but it was only Wen Xu, looking as anxious as ever.

“It’s lunch,” he said, and Nie Mingjue blinked, noticing that they were now alone in the hall. He must have lost time again, sinking into his thoughts without tracking the world outside. A dangerous habit anywhere, even more so in Qishan, but on the other hand it wasn’t like he was being allowed out for night-hunts right now – the danger here was only internal, and Wen Ruohan found his suffering funny. “I asked them to make lamb skewers with cumin.”

A Qinghe specialty. Nie Mingjue appreciated the gesture.

“Wen Zhuliu,” he croaked, his voice rasping as if he had just been screaming. Maybe he had been. It hadn’t been that long since the last ‘walk’ through the Fire Palace that Wen Ruohan had invited him on – they were a regular part of the routine, now. Wen Ruohan’s own personal indoctrination since the usual sorts of things didn’t seem to be working well enough on Nie Mingjue.

Maybe if he could keep thinking of it that way, as some twisted form of education, then perhaps the horror of the things he saw and, worse, was made to do – the choices he was forced to make, the things he had to do to innocent people with his own hands, the things that were sometimes done to him as an example, the screams, whether his own or others, that incessantly rang in his ears, the feeling afterwards that he would never be clean again – perhaps it would eventually become merely mundane. Maybe. Probably not.

It might be worse if it did, actually.

“What about Wen Zhuliu?” Wen Xu asked, interrupting Nie Mingjue’s increasingly dark thoughts, and Nie Mingjue shook his head to clear it. 

“He’ll be trouble,” he said.

Wen Xu frowned. “You think so? He’s just a bodyguard.”

Nie Mingjue shook his head a second time. It was evident to him that Wen Zhuliu was being sent to ensure that the Lan sect taught Wen Chao only as much – or as little – as Wen Ruohan preferred; otherwise, there was no need for such a powerful servant, with a frightening aura and an older man’s authority, to chaperone Wen Chao. Especially not to such a peaceful place, backed by the Lan sect’s guarantee of safety.

Wen Chao had only so very recently started acting like a person, thinking of others and considering questions of right and wrong beyond his own selfish desires – leaving him alone with Wen Zhuliu threatened that.

Nie Mingjue was sure of it.

“I’ll talk to A-Chao about it, then, warn him of the sorts of tricks he might play,” Wen Xu said. He would know them best, of course. “And I’ll make room for you to talk to him as well, if you feel able. Maybe I can get us permission to escort them some part of their journey, you and I…it’d be good for you to stretch your legs a little.”

Get you out of here for a while, he meant, and Nie Mingjue shrugged. Even if Wen Xu won permission for him to leave, which he doubted he’d be able to, in the end Nie Mingjue would have to come back, back to Wen Ruohan and his Fire Palace, back to all the people who depended on him.

Nie Huaisang, Wen Chao, Wen Qing, Wen Ning, even Wen Xu…

He was their big brother. He had a responsibility to them, just the same as he’d had ever since his father put Nie Huaisang into his arms for the first time, love chaining him more effectively than any iron.

He had to come back.

After all, if he didn’t go walking with Wen Ruohan, someone else might have to, and that was just – intolerable.

-

“I need help planning a murder,” Wen Xu announced as he swept in through the door in a swirl of intricately designed red robes, and Nie Mingjue wondered grumpily what type of dramatic actor he had been in a past or future life that made him quite so inclined to extravagant gestures. “Well, don’t all of you jump up and volunteer to help at once!”

Everyone reluctantly turned to look at him. Wen Ning was playing weiqi with Nie Mingjue while Nie Huaisang pretended to meditate as Wen Qing examined his meridians for any courses of treatment that might make cultivating easier on him; no one was especially moved by Wen Xu’s grandiose proclamation.

Maybe if he didn’t say something similar just about every other week…

“Who are we murdering today, Wen-ge?” Nie Huaisang asked, cracking an eye open and very obviously asking more to have a reason to stop even the pretense of meditation rather than any actual interest in the answer. “One of the teachers, or the soldiers, or a guard, or someone that stepped on your foot in the marketplace –”

“Wen Zhuliu,” Wen Xu said, and Nie Mingjue put down the weiqi piece he’d been toying with abruptly, with a smack that shook the table.

“What did he do?” he asked, concerned. “Is A-Chao all right?”

“He’s fine, if a bit shaken,” Wen Xu said. “Wen Zhuliu took him to a brothel.”

“He did what,” Nie Mingjue said.

“Unfair,” Nie Huaisang said. “I want to visit a brothel.”

“I’m fairly sure he wasn’t there on an educational visit, Huaisang-xiong,” Wen Qing said. “Or, at least, not in terms of a literary education.”

“Oh. Ick. No thanks, then.”

Wen Xu was gnashing his teeth together. “He wants to make a waste out of him. Fancy restaurants, a gambling house – I insisted we leave as soon as I realized – and now a brothel…if I hadn’t put a stop to it, A-Chao would be addicted to every vice available by the time he got to the Lan sect. They’d kick him out within a week!”

“He wouldn’t be able to challenge your position if he were a waste,” Wen Ning observed quietly. “If you were more like your father, you might even thank him for getting rid of a rival.”

“But why now?” Nie Mingjue asked, shaking his head. “A-Chao’s still so young. Playing around at that age can injure the body.”

It probably fucked up your head, too. Wen Ruohan’s specialty.  

“If A-Ning is right about the motive, that’s the sort of injury one might want to inflict,” Wen Qing said. “Boys that young can’t get women pregnant, and overdoing it too young can damage them, keep them from having children in the future. Not to mention the impact on their adult personalities; it might turn him into a lascivious beast, unable to take no for an answer, or else retard him in childhood, injure him with trauma – or all of the above. Or none, of course, some people are fine, but it’s not something you want to take a chance on.”

“You put a stop to it, right?” Nie Mingjue asked Wen Xu, who nodded.

“I explained at some length to A-Chao how exactly one gets infected with lin bing,” he said. “Bleeding sores on your prick and all…in fact, I may have overdone it a bit. I’m not sure he’s even willing to look at a woman right now.”

“Good thing he’s off to the Cloud Recesses, then,” Nie Huaisang said, pitiless in the ways of the young. At least, Nie Mingjue hoped that was the reason, and not Qishan Wen cruelty seeping into his bones. “Don’t they split up men and women?”

“I knew Wen Zhuliu was trouble,” Nie Mingjue said, deciding to sidestep the current conversational subject. “We should write to the Lan sect – Xichen will be able to recruit his uncle to help stop anything like that going forward. Though I still want to know why Sect Leader Wen would do such a thing to A-Chao now. Haven’t I reduced my level of influence on you enough?”

He got a whole array of pitying looks that suggested his supposed ‘influence’ on them – mentioned several times by Wen Ruohan, and just as inexplicable to Nie Mingjue as it had been the first time it had come up, even though everyone else seemed to automatically know what was meant by it – was not only still existent but running stronger than ever.

“Well, fine,” he said, scowling at the traitors who refused, to a man (and woman), to explain anything. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t understand what they were always not-saying to each other about it. “But the point still stands. Why now? Why this way?”

“It’s his first time leaving the Nightless City without the usual retinue,” Wen Qing said. “And he’ll be staying at the Cloud Recesses for a few months. If he gets used to the outside world without going off-course, it may be harder to lure him into vice later. Perhaps it’s just a coincidence?”

“Perhaps,” Nie Mingjue said.

“If we’re very lucky, it’s not a coincidence, but has nothing to do with us at all,” Nie Huaisang put in. “There may be more that we don’t yet know.”

-

The ‘more’ turned out to be a very well-off young lady, closely connected to several of the cultivation families in Henan – in the area right between Qishan Wen, the remnants of Qinghe Nie, and Lanling Jin – moving into the Nightless City as Wen Chao’s future bride.

Nominally, anyway.

In reality, her ‘bridal’ suite became a regular stop on Wen Ruohan’s daily schedule, and the extremely audible sounds of their romping had everyone chewing ginger in an attempt to avoid vomiting.

“There goes any hope of another girl for me to spend time with,” Wen Qing said with a sigh.

“What? I’m not good enough for you?” Nie Huaisang huffed, mock-offended. “How many girlish arts to I have to excel in, huh? I dress neat, I embroider, I…uh…”

She poked him in the forehead. “I was just saying that it might be nice to have someone else, that’s all. Ideally someone who is actually my gender. But I’m not anywhere desperate enough to spend time with someone like that.”

The young lady in question, Ma Liyuan, was arrogant and self-absorbed, closer to Nie Mingjue’s age – or maybe even Wen Xu’s, he hadn’t asked – than to Wen Chao’s, and seemed quite content with the circumstances that had brought her to and kept her in the Nightless City, provided that she was kept well supplied in new clothing and make-up. The morality, or lack thereof, of fucking her engaged-in-absentia fiancé’s father on the regular appeared not to matter in the slightest.

“I’m happy that she’s here,” Nie Mingjue said, and when they all looked at him strangely, he elaborated, “She’s been very distracting.”

He hadn’t had to go on anymore ‘walks’ with Wen Ruohan since she arrived, since there was really only so much time to spare for extracurricular activities in the busy schedule of a Sect Leader, and his mental state had improved dramatically as a result. He didn’t like the fact that his reprieve came at Wen Chao’s expense – at least Wen Chao was safely away in Gusu for the moment, and didn’t have to endure the wretched humiliation of it in person – but he couldn’t deny that it was, in fact, a reprieve.

“It won’t last,” Wen Xu predicted gloomily. “It never does, with his lovers. Father only ever cares about power; he’s fucking the promise of Henan land, not her, though I assume he also enjoys demeaning her in every way he can think of in the process. Honestly, I don’t know why Father didn’t just take her on as one of his own concubines if he was planning on doing this – why the charade?”

“Another plan to get A-Chao out of the line of succession?” Wen Ning suggested.

“Seems like too much effort for just that,” Wen Qing said, and Nie Mingjue nodded, agreeing. Wen Ruohan didn’t need a reason to disinherit somebody, but even if he wanted one, he only needed one, not a half-dozen.

“Perhaps he just wants A-Chao to become disappointing,” Nie Huaisang said, his chin on his hands. “To us, I mean, not to him. A-Chao’s prickly, you know – if you mixed together those vices he’s being tempted with and the humiliation he must feel when he hears about what’s going on here, he might get himself into something stupid. And then, well, you know A-Chao would be heartbroken if we turned away from him, and you know he’s not the most independent person. All he’d have left is him.”

“But we wouldn’t turn away from A-Chao even if he did disappoint us,” Nie Mingjue objected. “I’d break his legs if he tried to turn into some drunken wastrel, of course; scold him, refuse to let him out of his room, make him reflect and write reasons why he needed to stop, train him into the ground if necessary, but that’s hardly turning away from him. Who’d do something like that?”

Everyone looked at him fondly, as if he was a puppy that just performed a unique trick.

Nie Mingjue scowled at them. Hadn’t they respected him, once? Or was that his imagination?

“It’s a reasonable thought,” Wen Xu said, apparently opting to ignore Nie Mingjue’s view on the subject. “Divide and conquer is my father’s preferred method of attack, along with forcing people to suppress their own morals in order to reach a temporary compromise that he’ll only break further the next time. With Mingjue-xiong injured –”

He was fine. Physically, anyway. The mental scars didn’t count.

“– and A-Chao temporarily gone, his next goal will be one of us, no doubt. Perhaps we should preempt him.”

“Oooh, are we staging a fight?” Nie Huaisang asked, perking up. “I call spectator. Fight! Fight!”

Nie Mingjue reached over and tugged on his hair. “If there’s going to be a fight between the four of you, you are definitely getting involved, and not as a spectator. And speaking of fighting, Huaisang, where is your saber? Have you been practicing?”

Everybody laughed.