#And then i was watching exile real time get more and more abusive and going “ohhhh…noooooo…�� ooooooouhghhhh naoooooooo”

[ciderjacks]

my biggest fear is that Jax will do something Really bad (intentionally or unintentionally) to a beloved character bc I will probably end up defending his ass against the entire fandom. My track record with defending horrible fictional people like my life depends on it is NOT good.

[keyslox]

have you ever noticed how part of c!jack’s character is he is obscure and nobody really knows him and how in the fandom he is also obscure and nobody really knows him

Jack Manifold was never really given the time of day. Sure, he had a small part in the server (ultimately the one who ended the whole thing), but his presence was not respected all that much. Placed into the lowest rank of L’Manberg’s cabinet, killed by Wilbur Soot for ‘not being seen’. He never got a REAL apology for that, by the way. I will stand by the fact that Wilbit’s apology to Jack was manipulative, half-assed, and more for himself than Jack’s wellbeing. It was well before the ‘Apology arc’ and THAT IN OF ITSELF shows just how little it actually meant to Wilbur. He was just doing it to make himself feel better and didn’t actually have Jack’s feelings in mind.

The biggest thing I see going around is Tommy being excused for what he did to Jack. Killing him when Jack went to visit him in the Nether during his Exile. Tommy has trauma. We all know that. He was a victim to extreme manipulation and abuse and a slew of other things. Yet he blatantly ignores every attempt, denies and/or doesn’t fully grasp that he did what he did. Which I can understand because the dude went through severe trauma, but that’s not an excuse. He still needs to take the accountability for his actions.

Jack deserves so much more than he’s ever gotten and it SHOWS. He literally wants friends. That’s it. He wants friend and companionship and he wants what he THOUGHT he had. Because he never actually had it. If he had it Wilbur wouldn’t have killed him, Tommy would actually listen, and he would be shown an ounce of respect for his own traumas and hardships when he tries to talk about it all. All everyone does is dismiss, downplay, and invalidate c!Jack’s pain. That’s a big reason why he’s the way he is! Every other attempt to let himself express his issues ends in him feeling worse about himself.

And we’ve seen time and time again that everyone else Jack tries to talk to and vent to takes Tommy’s side! (Ex: Puffy) There’s bias that Tommy can do no wrong and is the ‘savior’ of the smp. But even if he’s the ‘main protagonist’ doesn’t diminish he causes pain.

They give the excuse that Tommy was a child, that children should be protected and yada yada. Jack was more-or-less a child when he first joined, too! He should have the same excuses, the same treatment as all the other kids on the smp but he doesn’t because he was left alone and had to grow up faster.

He didn’t have anyone to lean against, so he just never let himself fall. And when he inevitably did no one cared or batted an eye because no one was there. He died 3 times and no one batted an eye.

The fandom is so bias sometimes. I’m not huge on DAMP fanfics that involve Jack because they mischaracterize him so much. Put him as a bully in School AUs, make him mean and rude for no reason. The reason in canon is because no one gave a single fuck about him. (not including Niki) Jack had a reason for being ‘cruel’, no one else did. It comes with the fact that Jack’s POV just isn’t as watched, so people don’t know his side of things. But what bothers me is that it feels like fans don’t even try to see stuff from his point of view. He was abused, manipulated, killed, and used in his own right. If everyone else gets excuses for the shit they did, he deserves it too.

Below is how I interpreted Jack’s ending, and how, despite everything he’s gone through, his character gets some sort of ending that isn’t completely angsty. I acknowledge that Jack isn’t the morally-perfect character, that he was fueled by anger and rage. He had a slight victim complex. But from a more basic pov, and for the fans who don’t really understand his character, I think he was redemptive. In his own right.

REDEMPTION:

From its literal definition Redemption is “An act of redeeming or atoning for a fault or mistake, or the state of being redeemed. deliverance; rescue.” The state of being redeemed comes in many shapes and sizes. Actions and words big and small. For some it may take great showings of purpose and selflessness. For others it can be as simple as “I’m sorry.”

Someone can go their whole entire lives fighting with something they ultimately in the end agree with. A lot of it is a matter of perspective. Jack only had one perspective.

Jack was alone for most of his life on the dsmp. Yes he had friends in the beginning but wars and betrayal had him distancing himself and trying to find ways to fix it. None ever worked. Because he was alone. When you only work with one perspective you don’t understand the other side, and how it might actually clear things up and switch your own views.

It only took Jack a matter of minutes after arguing with Tubbo for him to realize he didn’t have the whole picture. Someone so close to Tommy, someone who WAS there to see the other side of things. Someone Jack trusts and respects, who’d he call a friend, to listen and then fight him on his thoughts even if it was in the form of an argument. Though he fucked up and killed everyone, I think his actions of still attempting to save Tommy with Tubbo have given him a bit of redemption. Not all, everyone has faults. But he was on the path to healing when he died. If only for a few minutes.

Jack died by his own hands trying to right his wrong. If that’s not a symbolic Jack ending I don’t really know what is.

[zeta-in-de-walls]

Reminiscing on the Dream SMP (part 1)

Hey guys, I was thinking about Dream SMP the other day. That server was a lot of fun in its day even as the content creator Dream turns out to be a terrible person.

It's been a little over a year since Tommy's DSMP ending and I thought I would reminisce on it.

The main question I have for the server is just how its final streams were so bas.

In its day, it was pretty cool and I believe it helped inspire a lot of future SMPs, showing creators how much fans had an appetite for story in a minecraft server (it wasn't the first but it was certainly influential).

One of its main strengths that first attracted me to it was the improv lead stories slowly evolving into loosely scripted streams.

By loosely scripted, I mean they had a concrete plans for the story beats but still left the actual dialogue up to the streamers to come up with which, when it worked, gave you some really natural sounding dialogue that at least somewhat reacted to the world around it.

The actual storylines were nothing too special. But the medium helped uplift them to feel extra unique - you would often get long unhurried streams allowing any important plot points to really breathe and get to see the characters going about their days, often doing things like rebuilding structures or mining even in content heavy streams - which many were not. This all helped the world feel very lived in and surprisingly immersive. Streamers interactions with their viewers through their chats was also an important element. This helped streamers as they had a live audience to judge their content off of and also to bounce off of, which was especially useful when they were streaming alone as it gave them an audience to naturally deliver soliloquys about their characters thoughts or just allowed them to narrate what they were doing at any given moment.

Being a server with many different streamers was also an interesting element. Viewers were not expected to watch all of it and indeed there was tons of content - another amazing about it was the sheer amount of content you got from it, such as multiple multi-hour streams every day - sometimes a different perspective of the same events, sometimes something completely different at the same time. I like to compare the server to comic books in that regard. They all took place in the same server but what stream you watched was what character you wanted to follow. And some fans would keep up with multiple, some only one or maybe two characters. But they were all fans of the server even though gradually they diverged more into their own separate fan groups - especially as different streamers had very different styles of content.

All this is to say that streaming was a cool medium for the Dream SMp and it was both a huge strength and sometimes a weakness. One reason I was such a fan of Tommy's exile arc was essentially how it was able to tell a story of isolation and the development of an abusive dynamic rather uniquely as with streams you got to see the everyday and see the character going about their day-to-day routine while gradually becoming more depressed. It basically used streaming and the minecraft medium to its advantage so well that I appreciate it almost artistically.

There were downsides to streaming as well. Overtime the fans increasingly labelled streams as heavy lore or semi lore or non-canon depending on what the streamer was up to as some days they just streamed building something and didn't want to interact with the server's plot. Sometimes the streamers would do stuff for content and looking at the wider story it was very easy to see these characters as terrible people or struggle with the disconnects. Sometimes jokes would turn into the most serious plots and there was some real whiplash.

But as I said. I don't really believe the story or characters were all that special. But the nature of the Dream SMP elevated it and when it was good, it felt like something special.

[pilferingapples]

do you think the issue at the end of the novel is the characters not taking cosette's trauma seriously, or hugo not taking it seriously?

I mean I think the really key issue mental-health management wise is that they're in early 19C France (the characters) and mid-19C Guernsey (the author) and in neither case does anyone around have the slightest idea how to deal with their own trauma , let alone anyone else's

I do think Valjean really believes she is fine, because look, she's happy! Without him! if he understood that Cosette was hurting he'd act differently but he has had the opposite of therapy in his life

(I think Hugo may also not totally get what's behind the behavior he writes so well for Cosette because, again: Mid-19C; he knows she's really not Totally Forgetting JVJ but I'm not sure he realizes how much that childhood trauma stays because there was not a whole lot of good info on child psychology at the time! but he is very good at portraying real things he's observed in people so it still comes through)

they are for the most part doing their best (well. Marius is fucking up hardcore because he's still on board with social damnation, and also the patriarchy) and that's why it's so upsetting!!!

like the readalong right now is going over the chapters where Valjean is exiling himself to his shame hut and! Obviously! there is no way the guy who puts himself in the Shame Hut is going to be comfortable living normally around other people! He needs years of therapy and lots of peer support and he is, unfortunately, in early 19C France so that is just not gonna happen!

There's really nothing else he can be expected to do in the end except what he does do; but Cosette doesn't know his Tragic Backstory and Cosette (and ONLY Cosette ) doesn't know what he's doing or that Marius is in on the self-destruction, so she also can't do anything but what she tries so hard to do, and keep the little contact with her dad that she's being allowed. And it's horrible!! But it makes sense for them all!

(And speaking of Not Knowing Tragic Backstory: as much as I will entirely call Marius out here for a lot of his reasoning,he doesn't know Cosette's tragic backstory either! Because Cosette never told him, because she doesn't know, because Valjean doesn't know how to talk about these things, because societal abuse has messed him up! Trauma is the gift that keeps giving!)

What gets frustrating is when the narrative tries to insist that nooo really she IS forgetting about Valjean, just not too much, or that it's her fault (but we shouldn't blame her because that's just how kids are!). That's Hugo's own many and famous issues coming through and is so very at odds with the behavior Cosette shows and aargh

But what is really maddening is when people read or watch the story and somehow come away with the idea that it's All Cosette's Fault and she's ungrateful and shallow for...not being able to stop two other adults, who are both older and both have much more societal power and who are choosing to withhold info from her, from doing what they've agreed on, which is, again, something she doesn't even know about. I have no idea what those people think Cosette is supposed to do here-- override Valjean's wishes and lock him in his room at her place?? Assume her husband is lying to her? Move back in with JVJ? never have gotten married at all? Magically untraumatize her dad??

if anyone's not taking Cosette seriously enough it's the frigging audiences but whyyyyy

[carrotsnake]

dungeon meshi fandom rant

i usually stay away from fictional autism headcanons or indulging in them wholesale because i'm more on the 'characters are constructs' side of things. some may exhibit traits we relate to but placing real-world diagnostic labels on walking metaphors makes things too nebulous. however laios touden is an exception to me since autism allegories (despite no authorial intent) are pretty hard-wired into both his arc and dungeon meshi's core themes about being an outsider. so for once the fandom autism memes feel genuine to me lol. it doesn't feel as fanon-heavy or platitudinous, actually it's pretty uplifting. i appreciate the positivity.

that being said the most dogshit dunmesh take i've seen lately is the assertion that laios and falin show us autistic men are villified for things autistic women are accepted for. the fuck are you people smoking? some rebranded MRA-pilled bullshit? log off tumblr and go outside, then point and show me where this is the truth. i don't know if you guys are all living in a feminist utopia that i'm not privy too, but if so send me the address because things couldn't be less like that everywhere i've ever been.

countless times i've been told 'oh you're exactly like a female copy of [socially anxious male friend/co-worker/family member who shares my personality] and then i gotta watch them get special treatment as i get left behind and scolded for not being normal enough. him being blunt is rebellious & brutally honest, me being blunt is just being a b*tch with no filter. how many times do you see autistic women reaching high positions of power and being revered as a misunderstood genius.

how about everyone reminding us to 'be nice' to the supposedly harmless awkward guy who keeps making sexual comments & invading our boundaries because he can't help it apparently. but strangely enough, i have gone my whole life without creeping on others. only to be called creepy and off-putting by these same social equality preachers for not applying makeup or styling my hair right. autistic women are more likely to be sexually harrassed and/or abused than neurotypical women and no one gaf (let's b real they don't care when it happens to neurotypical women either if the man has a good enough sob story.) shit like walking strangely, having a speech impediment and talking too much about esoteric topics was enough to be outcasted for us. once more, with feeling: what are you people smoking?

and critically, falin is pretty. she's conventionally pure, self-sacrificial, beautiful with hollywood curves, soft-spoken, and never questions anyone nor asserts herself over others when her needs aren't being met. her dislikes in the adventurer's bible are 'nothing in particular', she never spoke out against her village's bullying even when she had it worse than laios, quickly forgives her parents for exiling her, and never shows any opinion on marcille's use of dark magic. she's a paragon of femininity. anything less than that, and she would probably invoke similar if not more disgust from her peers than laios through the audacity of not conforming to gender expectations. but she likes holding bugs or whatever so...whoa! she's so feral and subversive amiright guys. but crucially she looks cute while doing it so we're not too uncomfortable to stan.

i love laios so much, he's in my newest blorbo collection for sure but calling the female characters who don't like him judgemental is not a good look. we as the readers who have been inside the main chara's head know he's a good guy - but in the context of dungeon meshi's world, where sexism is as prevalent as stranger danger, it's fair for them to assume bad intent and keep their distance. they're looking out for their own safety and you're mad about that because, what, it makes your 2D nigel sad? cry about it.

so quit using anime characters as fodder for your thinly-veiled 'everyday men milk themselves' preaches. the touden siblings are not a good example of this. if you unironically agree with that take: it's time to go talk to some real women broski.

[episodeoftv]

Prelims, Vote 3 of 8

The top 4 finales will move on to be included in the main bracket

Propaganda is under the cut, may include spoilers

Blake's 7 - 4.13 Blake

Technically, the episode is a very, very good one. Hell, I wouldn't wish for a different finale, to be honest. It's perfect, in its own "What the actual hell!?" way, and it does wonders for the show's themes of doomed struggle. The problem with it is that it was intended to be just a *series* finale, not the *show's* finale, so it ends on an extremely high-stakes cliffhanger. It's fantastic, it's scary, it's heartbreaking, you want more, you want to see it resolved... and the show was cancelled after the fourth series. So all we have is an extremely bleak ending with all but one character presumed dead and that damned last smile in the face of overwhelming odds in a completely hopeless situation.

Castle Rock (2018) - 1.10 Romans

When this show was coming out I was still deep in my Stephen King hyperfixation so needless to say I was *stoked*. But man this was one of the most underwhelming things I've watched. With episodes released weekly we had two months of people going insane with theories, new revelations, Stephen King fans digging up their old books to pick for scraps of hints that could explain what's going on, every week there were new video essays and analyses of the new episode, subreddit buzzing with the wildest theories about who is this mysterious character of The Kid who's kicked the whole plot in motion and what the hell is going on with the seemingly cursed town. And then the finale came and just. Nothing. Everything went back to square one. The Kid is locked back up in the same cage he was originally found in. Nothing was explained. Everyone moves on as if nothing happened. After two months of Castle Rock being the main focus of all of my free time this completely took the wind out of my sails and I completely lost interest in the show and honestly, soon almost forgot it even existed. When the second season came out I didn't watch even the first episode, even though the second season *might* have explained everything, I simply didn't care enough to find out anymore. And from what I've seen, others have felt the same way because since the first season ended I haven't really seen anyone talk about the show.

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina - 4.08 Chapter Thirty-Six: At The Mountains of Madness

Ok so in fairness this entire final season sucked but the real kicker is that in the final scene we learn that after the main character died, her love interest killed himself in order to be with her in the afterlife. Yeah, a teenager committed suicide and we were supposed to see that as a happy ending.

Choukou Senshi Changerion - 1.39 Over the Times...

It's the last episode, which means no new information or worlds should be introduced, right? WRONG. Inoue (the main writer) decided that, for this last episode, we should see into an alternate (maybe, perhaps) timeline alongside the regular content. The bad guys are coming, except our main guy is starting to go down and remembering all the things that have happened, as well. And then it just ends. On an explosion, of course. Roll Credits!

The Get Down - 5.11 Only from Exile Can We Come Home

rushed to complete the show and low on budget, the writers sent every character besides the protagonist (zeke) to their worst possible fate. shao, finally free and with the person he loved, was coerced to return to the sexually abusive woman who had been his boss since he was a child. dizzee is implied to have been struck by a train after breaking his boyfriend out of prison for graffiti. and boo-boo, the 14 year old, is arrested for selling drugs. in some ways its thematically appropriate, but the unrelenting viciousness of the end of each character's story is sudden, deeply tonally jarring, and leaves the audience feeling despondent and hopeless even with the main character surviving to sing it all as an adult and his love interest finding success as a singer, albeit far away in another city. tgd is an excellent show, but besides being cancelled, the big kicker for it was that the romantic lead mylene didn't hit for a lot of people, and watchers who preferred shao and zeke to get together due to having such strong chemistry and a well-developed bond probably had a very different experience than the writers had intended. mylene is a fine character and she's unfairly disliked by a lot of watchers, but her romance with zeke was simply not as well developed as shao's and zeke's relationship was

Grimm - 3.22 Blond Ambition

It forgoes the usual: 'there is a scary wesen that is causing problems and we can solve this' formula to pay off other plot points, but it kinda makes the episode feel less tethered. The focus is a wedding between supporting characters, whilst a former finale villain is just stalking around town and also a (corrupt) FBI agent is preparing to make his move. Both make their moves and the results are kinda lame. The agent is almost immediately beheaded rendering his active threat moot. And the other villain disguised herself as the MC's girlfriend and sleeps with him. The only major points are the wedding, a police captain getting shot (glossed over here but become relevant next season), the FBI agent dying (it starts a dull investigation next season), and the MC losing his power right at the end (which led to one of the worst periods in the show until he regains his powers...)

Jane the Virgin - 5.19 Chapter One Hundred

No propaganda submitted

[a-sea-with-no-shores]

The Sleuth of Ming Dynasty notes for any other latecomers like me:

I liked the parts of it that I liked very much, including the main relationship. There are a handful of good female characters that rotate in and out. The fight scenes are mostly short and semi-realistic, light on the lightness skills (pun intended) and lacking anything more fanciful than that.

Women in armor, even if it's only a small amount of the time: A+++ (this is in the opening animation; that's not a spoiler).

You should have some tasty food on hand over the course of the series, including at least one bowl of noodles, or you will be Very Sad.

It's set in 1478 CE (the Chinese name is literally 成化十四年, 14th year of Chenghua*). Thus you get what you'd get in a show set in another region in a similar era: nasty attitudes about nations adjoining distant borders, deals made in fancy brothels, etc. etc., and I'm not going to write up all that because I expected it going in. Are there current political aspects involved? Yup. (Like, was that bit about exiling someone to Xinjiang historically accurate? I don't think the Ming actually had control of it well enough for that during this period!) But that all goes over there in the box marked General Historical and Modern Social/Political Problems With Everyone's (Quasi-) Historical Shows Everywhere.

(if you don't want to know ANYTHING more about the show before watching it, don't continue, although I've tried to avoid real spoilers.) *not everything in that article that's stated as fact is accepted as fact, though that should be a given with brief histories of any era whether on Wikipedia or anywhere.

Some things I was NOT expecting:

I was not expecting for Tang Fan to be such a cringey brat. I honestly wasn't sure I could deal with him at first. But underneath the (gestures) everything, as it turns out, he's remarkably strong even in a show full of steel-willed characters. I don't know exactly what caused all the (gestures) everything, but I have some guesses.

Holy shit, so many instances of people ending their own lives! I literally lost count. Generally for "I got caught and there's no way out" reasons but whew. Genre-appropriate but like. A lot. It wasn't triggery to me in the least but if you're bingeing it becomes a little ridiculous. (And there were two instances in which I was mad about it.)

ACAB: One main character is a judge/clerk/DA/public defender, kind of. One is an army veteran/cop/enforcer/investigator, kind of. One is a secret agent/spymaster, kind of. They are all deeply enmeshed in the machinery of power and have different relationships with it, which change over the course of the show. (Though they are all never more than one breath away from being crushed by it.) For the most part the overly idealistic/rigid pair change for the better, though there's a moment of what felt to me like real abuse of power over marginalized people that I think is mostly excused by the narrative as being done in the grip of panic (and love). But it also felt like it was written in a way that indicated there would probably be consequences? If so, they didn't come up. (I'd have to rewatch to really analyze it.)

I meant it about the food.

There are clearly good/evil characters, complex/morally grey/ambiguous characters, and then there's the third main character in this show, who's like ... a third, secret thing. Like, utterly amoral in pursuit of his own ethic? I would not want to live in the same time zone or decade as him.

Unexpectedly, there's a case that involves (sigh) an Autistic EngineerTM. I can't comment on this character or storyline in depth but over several episodes they managed to make the handling of the whole thing both better and worse multiple times. The ending made me mad but I don't know enough about the depiction of autism in Chinese media to say if even this kind of storyline was a positive or negative in that sense.

Actually, for both the above and the handling of Sui Zhou's PTSD, I can't say if the translation made things better or worse. That kind of vocabulary is pretty well beyond me. That said, I don't think "mental illness" is necessarily the best translation every time it showed up in the English subtitles.

Character ages make no goddamn sense. When I try to imagine that Wang Zhi is the age they claim he is, my brain just breaks. (I don't remember how old the real Wang Zhi was during this time period, though since the other two MCs are fictional it doesn't really matter.) I suppose it's a miracle that they let Consort Wan be played by someone who's 3 years older than the actor who played the emperor, even though in real life she was more like 15 years older (I forget exactly).

Gender/crossdressing: One male character wears a woman's clothes/makeup/etc. as a disguise and gets thoroughly laughed at by one other male character (others are surprised or matter-of-fact about it) but it's unclear whether the laughter is deliberate manipulation, mockery, delight, or a more complicated gender thing given who's doing the laughing. There are a couple instances of female or AFAB characters presenting as men as a disguise and/or as their daily life. I think in all of the cases these characters have some degree of agency when there's the inevitable (because it's a drama) revelation. Honestly in one case I was pleasantly surprised because the character continues to present as male. I honestly have no idea what the character's gender turns out to be, which is fine! The subtitles do change their pronouns to feminine but I can't remember from the spoken dialogue if there's any actual change in address.

I've only watched the show once and my memory is not that good so forgive me if I got anything wrong here. None of this is really criticism, just personal observations! I'd like to read the book eventually. (I've already begun to investigate the fanfic. I see that while the show forgot about Tang Fan's side hustle pretty quickly, fic writers certainly didn't lmao)

[saltwatersweets]

How did you get into dsmp, when did it start, who are your favs, who do you dislike, any hot takes, what did you think of the finale, what species do you hc the characters

1. i started watching dreams content early april 2020, at a little before 3 mil subscribers! i started watching dteam clips not too long after and so knew about the dream smp’s existence early early on, before there was lore. however i only used youtube at the time and didn’t even know there was lore at all until i saw sad-ist’s first dsmp animation (i have been a fan of hers since i was around twelve or thirteen; its funny that the dsmp introduced a lot of people to sad-ist but for me sad-ist introduced me to the dsmp!) a couple months later when lore started really picking up i started posting more about it on social media.

2. i think youre asking for fave characters, in which case im pretty basic. top five are likely gonna have to be 1) c!dream, 2) c!quackity, 3) c!sam, 4) c!tommy, and then i’d say c!techno, c!niki, and c!tubbo are all tied for fifth!

3. i wouldnt say i outright dislike any characters. i personally never really cared for c!schlatt and i especially havent really cared much for c!wilbur since like, the election arc. nothing against them personally, or fans of those characters, they just dont really interest me personally. that might change soon though!!

(this ended up being so long so more under the cut 💀)

4. i suppose my only real hot take is that again, the justification for what c!dream went through during prison arc can easily be used to justify what c!tommy went through during exile arc; i believe there are certain things that no one can deserve to go through and torture/manipulation like that are two of those things. i’ve already said that before but its really my only lore hot take i’d say i can word well (i have a lot of thoughts in my head and never have ANY idea how to word them 😭)

as for any hot takes regarding ccs, i wouldnt say i have any big ones either but they might put me in hot water with some people anyway LOL. i believe that everyone should be given chances to change for the better and that a person having bigoted views in the past because of how they were raised and no longer having them in the present is a Good Thing!! no one should be expected to be perfect for their entire lives. positive change is always good i think and it should be encouraged, for any cc and person in general. finally regarding any friendships in the dsmp that are broken now, i dont want to blame one single person in any friendship. we don’t know what fully happened behind the scenes and nor should we ever - its private.

5. this question ended up being perfect timing because i JUST caught up on the finale like two hours ago 😭 havent watched all the full streams but have seen the major clips so i could understand what happened. i was actually just about to post about it, but i loved it!! i’m a big c!discduo apologist and enjoy how it handled both their characters. c!tommy did do bad things (though that doesnt mean he deserved the bad things done to him)!! c!dream did a Lot of bad things (though that doesn’t mean HE deserved the bad things done to him)!!

i thought the way it handled their characters was pretty good for a minecraft roleplay and i find the fact that it caused so much discourse (especially about someone who from what i know wasnt even a main writer for it?) pretty stupid lmao. especially when i see tommy fans saying the finale sucked when from what i know tommy was one of the people who had a huge part in writing it?? lmao 😭 (not hating on tommy or his fans i just think its funny). i think that expecting a perfect and neat story of abuse on a MINECRAFT ROLEPLAY full of a bunch of minecraft streamers in their teens/early twenties was asking for disappointment.

i think the finale ended up being really profound especially with the irl stuff going on at the time (and what was to come in the future). how broken friendships played such a huge role on the server and just a year or so later many of the irl friendships would be broken. one thing that especially got to me was how much of a point was made that immortality wasnt right and it was important to live your life and enjoy it with the people you love while you can; that the best things are temporary because you can appreciate them. it was a natural evolution of c!dreams character of course (a necromancer who wanted his world to go back to how it used to be) but the fact that the finale streams happened only a few months after techno’s actual passing was not lost on me.

as for the final couple minutes themselves, i am a little conflicted. i would have loved the story to end with everyone keeping their memories and the idea that they’ll have to figure out how to live after doing everything theyve done; how to make peace with everyone WITH their memories. i’m not sure how season 2 would have gone but the fact is that we’ll never get a season 2 and that this is the ending we’re left with. especially how in a way c!dreams plan to “reset” the server seemed to come to fruition; i think it would have been a better ending for his and the other characters if again they had to live with their memories of what theyd done and try to move on like that. it wasnt really the type of ending that i was hoping the dsmp would have, but i think it served its purpose well. love the c!discduo being friends though!! and i also love seeing fics that take place during “season 2” and after the nuke went off, those always end up being super interesting to me.

6. any of my species headcanons are EXTREMELY basic lmao. duck hybrid c!quackity, creeper hybrid c!sam, goat hybrid c!tubbo, etc etc. i have no big headcanons i’d say - i totally see c!tommy and c!dream as both being 100% human though. i’d say thats my only real headcanon regarding hybrids and species. ive got a lot of headcanons but not too much about that specifically.

[callsignbaphomet]

Okay so watching a lot of lore videos made me think back on this post (don't get excited it's just OC stuff).

Eventually both of them will change their minds about having kids but not necessarily in a traditional way. Like, honestly with how they are it would probably be somewhat spontaneous but not really. They have talked about this subject before, numerous times actually. It's either started by one or the other and each time they lean a little more towards yes though they both always end it with "not yet". Both of them are mature and responsible, especially Jelani, economically both of them are stupid levels of incredibly comfortable. Angelus will eventually become the Trickster team leader for the 00 branch and Jelani will eventually be the actual leader of the entire PMC. Currently he's the acting leader. Real world equivalent to a LtGen that's been left in charge for the most part.

They do have some real concerns they've talked about with each other. Angelus is scared to death because his childhood was bad, like really freaking bad. He's not abusive in any way, on the contrary, he lived through a literal hell and he wouldn't ever want to put someone else through that. It's an irrational fear of his. On top of that he worries about his own mental illnesses and if he might pass them down. Just because he's got all of that under control, puts in the work and takes care of himself doesn't mean it all magically vanished and he's cured. Hell, sometimes there are setbacks and he needs to step back to take care of it and sometimes he needs help. Third thing that worries him is the fact that he's a Crossed Breed, that has stigmas of its own. I've mentioned before that there are werewolves out there that automatically want his head on a pike just because he's a Crossed Breed and he's had to deal with violence before because of that. He's deathly afraid of what the kid might turn out to be.

Angelus isn't the only one with concerns. Jelani has his fair share of issues that he'd rather not burden a child with. On top of that he is the literal Arch-Maker, that's an entire mess of its own. Even if he "exiled" himself it's only a ceremonial act, it really was just to give himself some peace of mind. If Angelus is worried about what the kid would turn out to be Jelani is ten times more worried. Werewolf genetics might be aggressive but that's nothing compared to the genetics of a divine being.

There's also the obstacle of actually getting pregnant itself. Angelus was born intersex so on top of having the Ovotesticular DSD (Ovotestes) variation he was born with only half a uterus which requires a little more help in that department because of having only half of a uterus.

Which lets me circle back nicely to what I said before 'cause honestly the way I wrote it made him sound like a jerk I think. That particular incident happened the second time he and Jelani fucked, they weren't together yet and both didn't tell each other how they felt for a million, albeit dumb af, reasons. So a few weeks later he had the miscarriage. He didn't tell anyone because he didn't want anyone to know. And no, he didn't go by periods because he is very irregular, like, he can go months or even years without seeing a period and suddenly it just drops like an RKO outta nowhere. Eventually he does tell Jelani but years later. He obviously got worried about him and he was glad he was okay. He did feel strange about finding that out but if Angelus had decided to keep it if he hadn't miscarried he would've had his back 100,000% no matter what he would've decided on. Sanaa and Ingvarr raised their babies right, thank you very much. So! If they decide to go through with it this time they'd have to be careful and get everything checked out.

Honestly, yeah, I do like the idea of them having twins but like I said before it would be much later in the timeline. And honestly, I like the idea of it just happening without them planning it out. Just one day Angelus notices something's off, both talk it out, get a test done, Jela tells him it's his decision and his alone and that no matter what he'll be right beside him through it all, Angelus sits on it for a bit, decides to keep it, both do everything they can to make sure Angelus and the kid are safe, keep the new development to themselves, find out it's not one but two, both have an "oh shit" moment, then when they can't hide it anymore they tell others, Ingvarr does what he does best: cries because his youngest baby will have babies and because he's a big softy and then twins arrive.

So what do you get when you cross a powerful werewolf with an Arch-Maker? Yeah, I'm still working out the kinks but they're DEFINITELY of divine origin, that shoulda been more than obvious. I actually have an idea for their non-human form designs, taking both of Jela's and Angelus' forms and kinda fusing some bits. Sounds weird but it makes sense in my head!

I don't think I'm bringing this concept into any of the AUs tbh but then again I'm fickle af and y'all know me. If I like an idea I grab it and run to the hills with it at top speed.

[distorted-illusions]

Hi, I don't know what it means to be ‘otherkin’ or ‘alterhuman’, or an “IRL” or “DA” really. I don't understand and I want help and to find people I can talk to and relate to what I'm going through. I have tried to do research on all of these, but I still don’t feel like I understand, and what I do understand doesn’t completely feel like me. So I was hoping if you saw this, you could read my experience and give me advice.

I have maybe like four ‘others’. Others being ways I view myself, or find myself viewing/identifying as. 

I just feel so disconnected from the real world. I really struggle to feel real. Sometimes that means dulled to no emotions. And then because I don’t feel real, I'm impulsive cause I don't think of the consequences of my actions.

I sometimes confuse dreams with reality. It is a problem I have a lot. Dreams of my mother abusing me which didn’t actually happen, but affect my feelings towards her in the real world and cause me distress.. Sometimes I dream of a regular day in life, with maybe a few signs it’s a dream, but I think it’s real, and then have to be devastated when I figure out it’s a dream or wake up. Sometimes I get stuck in a loop of me trying to will myself to wake up from a  dream, and it will seem like I’ve succeeded, only for me to wake up again and again to it still being a dream.

I just feel really disconnected from life. All the time I'll just suddenly "pop" or blink and be like "oh wait yeah this is real... Do I feel real? How do I feel right now? Is this how a normal person feels? It feels so weird."

I almost 100% think I used to experience a lot more dissociation, derealization, and depersonalization, clearly from like a year ago when I was in public school, but now it feels less. Like I certainly feel disconnected, but I have had way worse. And maybe I’ve gotten more used to it that it just became a new normal. 

I'd say the best way to put it, is that I feel like I have past lives. I feel like I've been abused and tortured and all this stuff has happened to me, but that's not real life and that didn't happen. Do I have perfect memories of these past lives or whatever, no. My dad just says I'm extremely empathetic to people who have experienced things, but if thats so, then why does it feel like it hurts me so much.

For all my “episodes” of feeling like an “other” I feel inhuman, unreal, and out of place in the world. I feel I struggle to be human. I struggle to be the girl I’m supposed to be, because suddenly I’m not her, and I don’t know her, I don’t know what she would do.  I have her memories but they don’t feel like mine.  I feel like a ghost watching. I'm an NPC that's not been programmed. I'm here and awake when I'm not supposed to be.

My main/recurring ‘others’

- 1. The angel. My episodes include me feeling/believing that I am some fallen imprisoned angel that was given a job to become host of this body. I sometimes feel like I'm supposed to have wings, but that part isn't always constant. I feel like I’m supposed to ‘carry the burdens’ of the original host’s life. 

- 2. The doll. Similar to the angel, I am a doll that was chosen to become host of the body. I am a doll who is supposed to follow orders and bring joy. This one used to be much more prominent as I was a child.

- 3. The creature. This one is sort of a general descriptor for feeling inhumane. My head feels off a lot, like I'm supposed to have like anime girl cat ears, but there are none and so I feel off. I feel off in the family and more like an object or pet. Mainly object.

- 4. Weirdest one, please don’t laugh or call me cringe, but C!Tommy. It's not like the others where I feel like I've been given the mission to be host and protect. It's like I feel like I am c!Tommy sometimes. Like I can remember parts of exile and being hurt and tortured. Like my life as me was never real and that I am c!Tommy and was him in another life. I know I'm not him, but I also feel like I am. When I feel like I am c!Tommy, I like he/him pronouns. Which usually for me I feel more nonbinary-woman aligned. I know I’m not a boy/man, but part of me feels like I am. It’s like there are two me’s, one that is the actual me(host?) and one that believes she is c!Tommy (The delusion)

And I think one of the worst parts of all of these, is feeling like I have or that I have a strong connection to being abused. And like I just can't remember it. Remember all the details. But reading about stuff, it all just hits a little too close to home. I don't feel like I'm just being empathetic.

So yeah I just get into states where I don’t feel real. And sometimes during that state, I feel like I am an ‘other’. Not even sometimes, it is like always like this. It’s like “I don’t feel real right now….. What does real feel like? I am ____. I know I am not. But also I am.” These two me’s battling inside. One the believer (delusion) and me (The doubt/reality)

I don’t know how to put it, it’s like when ‘I don’t feel real’ I am waking up from a dream. The dream was whatever I was doing before I “woke up”. The experience I just went through doesn’t feel real. That doesn’t feel like real life. Now doesn’t feel real either, but at least I’m ‘awake’ and not ‘part of the matrix’. 

So yes I feel like. “Yes I am an angel. That is who I am” and then sometimes I go to’ sleep’ and feel like I’m a human. But when I “wake up” I am not human. I am usually an angel (most common ‘other’ feeling). I tell myself I am not an angel, I know it’s not true, but part of me believes I am an angel and I can’t stop believing it. 

And thats how it usually is. Usually there are the two of us. Me(delusion) and myself(reality), we’re fighting for dominance, and we feel so out of place in life. We want to go ‘back to sleep’ but even that doesn’t feel all that much better. When we’re ‘sleeping’ we still feel some level of unrealness/unreality, we’re just not acknowledging it or completely aware of it. 

Then, it’s only happened a few times, not many I can remember, when we’ll have a full episode. where me(delusion) takes over and we 100% feel like an ’other’. We don’t immediately panic like we don’t know where we are. Cause usually when this happens it is one of the other’s that believe they were tasked with becoming the new host, and so being here wouldn’t be so strange. But when it happened with c!tommy, I kinda just blinked my eyes, and was like “I am c!Tommy. What am I doing here?” and I(Tommy) was aware of a decent amount of information regarding the body, but I was Tommy. And I couldn’t stop thinking about exile enough to think about much more. just “Oh yeah I exist in this girl’s head, not really sure why, but I’m Tommy, and- Oh gosh exile was awful! I’m so happy I’m not in exile right now! And!-oh, but what about my friends…. But at least I’m not in exile!” and then when the episode ends, I(reality) wake back up and am like “what the fudge was that. That doesn’t feel like me. These memories don’t feel like mine. But that clearly just happened….”

And during some of these I don’t know how to describe them, call them, almost manic psychotic episodes, sometimes I also become obsessed with something like DID, and start thinking “Yes I must have DID. this must be what this is!” and then again, I’ll ‘wake up’ and be like. “No you don’t, silly.” or “what was I talking about? Of course I don’t have DID.” and again all my memories of when the episode was happening feel distant and not 100% mine. 

I just never feel real, and my memories always feel distant and like they don’t belong to me. And I can’t function or live my life! And I know I must be going through some sort of psychosis, I’m in the process of trying to get a doctor to talk to me, but I wanted to ask the internet. Do I fit ‘kins’ or IRL/DA ? I just want to meet some people that have an inch of understanding of what I’m going through. 

I don’t understand what it means to have a spiritual connection to something. I feel like I relate to something, and I feel like I am it, but I know I’m not. Yes I use the “past life” card to try to explain it, but I don’t actually believe in past lives, and Tommyiinnit definitely wasn’t one of them. And I also don't believe there is a parallel universe where the dsmp was real.

Thank you for any help or advice you can offer. And I'm sorry if anything I've said has upset you. Sincerely. 

[polyhexian]

not to be dramatic but the obsession with dragging up ancient history with ppl for clout points is like... its really frustrating and sad in regards to ppl who grew up in bad environments, whether thats abuse, religion, the us south, whatever. like. kids reflect a lot of what their parents give them. someone can grow up a fundie or a diehard republican or hell, outright homoephobic and not always be that. i think back to an old acquaintance of mine who grew up in a strict christian republican household and yeah, absolutely mirrored those beliefs until they were an adult, worked on like a republican youth campaign and everything. but also like. i knew them in their twenties as a transgender indivual with no contact with their folks who volunteered at a trans suicide hotline three nights a week for multiple years, who donated to more charities than i can count, who was never afraid to help out a near stranger who needed money in an emergency, who was like, an active member of their community doing real help with real at risk people in need, unhoused ppl, trans people, minorities, soup kitchens, protests. and they published a book recently with a trans protagonist that actually did quite well, but like. i had to look at the good reviews by people who had never read it, knew nothing about them posting one star reviews citing ten year old homophobic tumblr posts by a teenager who would go on to get kicked out for being a lesbian and then to have to sue their employer over transgender discrimination and who- who again. volunteered at a trans suicide hotline three times a week. but they were raised to be a christian homophobe and it didnt made theyd broken away from it, escaped and become a completely different person. theres always going to be people who want them dead for it. watching that happen haunts me. how truly despicable.

like thats really what pipelines people. they see that and they know that breaking away from whatever hateful environmen they were raised in will see them exiled from whatever world they want to escape to. are you a gay kid raised in a homophobic environment? ever say something homophobic your parents told you? good news, you will never find solace within the lgbt community because there will always be people that want you dead.

its going to feel safer to stay. at least the homophobes accept you as long as you keep your mouth shut. and then people escalate. and that goes for everything, even allies, and its just like. you have to have forgiveness as an option, you have to be able to recognize ppls abilities to change or you are garunteeing the world will never get better

[sadculturee]

AINUN'S FILM REVIEW

THE HUNGER GAMES: THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES

Ratings: 9.7/10

It was an emotionally conflicting experience watching President Snow's character development and eventual rise to power when they have freaking Tom Blyth playing the protagonist. I am going to need a few nights to render my thoughts and resolve my moral dilemma 🙂 ✌️. All throughout the film, I cannot help but imagine the Tumblr uproar if this were to be released in 2010-2014. I just know Tumblr girlies (me included) would be completely insufferable, simping over yet another problematic fictional man. 

Full disclaimer though, I haven't yet read the book (I will), so my whole review is going to be based on my first time experiencing his story and the film only. Minor Spoiler Alert!

Right off the bat, very surprising (but obviously expected) this film absolutely nailed it. Once again, a Hunger Games movie outmatched previous releases and broke the bad-sequel curse. It would've been a solid 10/10 from me if it didn't push me into a spiral of moral dilemma over Snow's actions and how GORGEOUS he looked when he was younger (/joke) (/but not really) (damn you, Tom Blyth).

Truly, Francis Lawrence did his magic once more, the whole deliverance of the story was a cinematic blessing. The fight scenes and the tension built up before and after the games had me on my feet, gripping the edge of my seat, terrified yet enthralled by what was about to happen. Having read and watched the trilogy, I have a slight notion of how the ending would be. Whatever happens, Snow will survive and rise as the most powerful victor in all of Panem. And to know that, whilst watching the games and his exile story played out, honestly terrifies me. 

Having the story laser-focused (and very well written) on the main villain had me occasionally losing myself in his emotions and perspective, I lost grip on the reality of the abuse and oppression The Capitol inflicted on all 12 districts and their people, with The Hunger Games as the peak reminder of their terrors, showing the people who're actually in power. I found myself empathizing with Snow's character during some of his vulnerable moments. For a moment I imagined if only people were nicer, if his circumstances were a little bit more ideal, Snow would have grown up to be a better person (which obviously was a terribly false assumption as this man is honestly devil reincarnated). 

ALSO, as a self-proclaimed musical addict, I simply cannot write this review without giving my highest praise to Rachel Zegler, Dave Cobb and James Newton Howard for perfecting the film with their music. Every time Zegler starts singing, I get goosebumps all over. Her verses and emotions took hold of my entire body and moved me to feel whatever emotions the creators wanted me to feel. Midway, I felt like Zegler's decision to pursue acting instead of singing should make hit singers grateful because she would sweep them away so quickly with that voice and talent 🥹.

The film perfectly mirrors how fights against oppression are often harshly labelled as unjust terrors or savage rebellions, deserving of brutal punishments by the ruling governments. Regardless of how these "rebellions" were simply a desperate attempt for the oppressed to survive another day. When the stakes are too high, beyond their control, and the prospect of a better future is bleak, they would have nothing more to lose. Fighting would be the only option they have. It would be either fight or die. A literal, real-life hunger game where the whole world is your arena. And considering current global events, the release of this film feels extremely fitting. Which raises one big question: "If you can stand with the rebels fighting for justice, against immoral and inhumane rulings in movies and books, why won't you stand for them in real life?"

The movie ended with Snow finally getting a spot in The Capitol, a near guarantee of a successful future, with his grandmother and Tigris by his side congratulating him. Not going to spoil the ending for anyone who hasn't watched the film, but I'm just gonna say that in that scene I so wish I could hear both Tigris and Snow's inner thoughts and emotions. 

In conclusion, I regret not watching this movie sooner and totally recommend all dystopian fiction fans to watch in the theaters! 

[canmom]

Toku Tuesday 50: the Kerberos Saga

Last week on Animation Night I wrote about the mighty Hiroyuki Okiura, and I mentioned his best known film, Jin-Roh: The Wolf Brigade. I promised a one-off return of Toku Tuesday in which we'd watch the first two Kerberos films of Mamoru Oshii, and then Jin-Roh in its proper context.

The first two Kerberos films are perhaps even less known in the West than Oshii's other toku films like Avalon. They've only ever gotten fairly small-scale DVD releases, they have almost zero footprint on torrent sites, and the people who've actually seen them (compared to Jin-Roh, widely regarded as a classic) is tiny. And when they do see it, most people come at them with a sense of putting Jin-Roh into its historical context, which... yeah, guilty.

Kerberos began in 1986, a couple of years after Oshii had left Urusei Yatsura and not long after Angel's Egg; it overlaps with the founding of the Headgear art collective which would create Patlabor. The core series comprises the movie trilogy, lots of manga, and a couple of radio dramas.

It is set in a near future in which Japan was conquered (somehow) by the Nazis instead of the Americans, hence the prominent Stahlhelm imagery - which might have something to do with the overlap between anime otaku and military otaku, manifesting in a fascination with particularly Nazi equipment in anime of this time - you catch glimpses of it in e.g. Gainax's Otaku no Video and FLCL, and Oshii himself had already poked fun at it in Urusei Yatsura.

But, to be fair, this is a story about fascism, martial law and men whose ideology that holds them to be supermen whose mission is to bring order to an unruly country. So it's not like Nazi imagery is inappropriate to such a story. Let's briefly summarise what we're in for.

The three main films in the Kerberos series procede backwards in time. They all deal with a special power-armoured police unit called Kerberos, which quickly abuses its power and gets disbanded by the state. The first one, The Red Spectacles, sees Kerberos leader Koichi Todome returning to Japan after a long period of exile when the unit was destroyed. He wanders through a dreamlike city, which in the end we learn is literally his dream, not a real vision of Japan without Kerberos.

The second, StrayDog: Kerberos Panzer Cop sees the circumstances that brought Todome back to Japan; another former Kerberos member called Inui (dog jokes!) seeks Todome in exile in Taiwan, not knowing he is bringing the attention of a rival police unit that wants to finish them off for good.

Finally, Jin-Roh, with Okiura loosely adapting the first arc of Oshii's manga, rolls back to the early days of Kerberos after their version of WWII, a time of protest not entirely unlike the Anpo protests. We watch a man called Kazuki Fuse gradually losing his humanity, and his meeting with someone who claims to be the sister of a suicide bomber he failed to gun down.

So, how's all this going to handle those hefty themes? That's what I'm interested to find out. With you, hopefully!

Alongside all this - and all the manga, radio dramas, etc. - is a weird spinoff story called Tachiguishi-Retsuden, beginning with a mockumentary about a strange underworld of noodle bars prohibited by the fascist state and the scammers who interact with them, featuring a duo who first appeared in Urusei Yatsura before being adopted into Kerberos. This used a bizarre live action-animation hybrid technique that sounds fascinating - I'll write more if I can get my hands on it.

That's all the summary I have time for now, and anyway it would be better to write more after the films are digested. So tonight we'll take a little dive into the world of Kerberos. If you'd like to join, we'll be starting in about 20 minutes at twitch.tv/canmom

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

In order of most to least voted:

Yes, the hidden society on the moon WAS the one I made up! No, it’s not a Hermitcraft plot point either, though it was inspired by it. It’s also based on canonical mind control on the Dream SMP and two characters going to make a (non-evil) moon society. And I see all your tags, I know you didn’t listen to my rules. Which proves a secret thing I was totally absolutely testing all along- NO ONE in the Dream SMP fandom has any media literacy or reading comprehension. Which I was suspecting from the time my friend got harassed and sent death threats for calling a blatantly abusive relationship that the actors have called abusive an abusive relationship, but it’s good to get confirmation.

The devil is Drista, Dream's sister, who was thirteen to fourteen throughout the Dream SMP's run. She played on his account occasionally, on creative mode, which was explained through her being a deity and her being the devil at different times. She mostly just hung out and didn’t participate in the roleplay, but she did on occasion, most notably when she took pity on Tommy's character during his abuse and took him to his home for a while to cheer him up.

The polyamorous relationship was between Karl's character, Sapnap's character, and Quackity's character. Karl's character was a time traveller who forgot more of the present every time he travelled, and after Quackity's character became distant and started his own nation Karl's character completely forgot about him. This lead to him being aggressive and confused when Quackity's character came to visit, causing the complete dissolution of the relationship.

George's characters whole arc is that he sleeps through any major event. He was made king at one point solely because he was never present for anything and was a good figurehead. He also attracted the attention of one of the deities of the setting, DreamXD, who was a cruel and sadistic god of life who found him interesting and wanted to be close to him. This was literally the entirety of his storyline. People got harassed over not thinking he was a deep and interesting character by the way.

Philza's character, the Angel of Death, had a son with a Samsung smart refrigerator. This child was Wilbur's character, who had a relationship with a salmon named Sally, who he later may have ate but it’s not clear. She was possibly a shapeshifter but it’s entirely possible she was just a literal animal (albeit one who was somehow a secretary). Their son was Fundy's character, a fox. Wilbur just does stuff like that with his characters family trees in things. He tried to add more confusing mess to the whole thing that got shot down, he just enjoys it.

Puffy's character is a pirate sheep woman with amnesia (half the characters on the server have amnesia). She befriended Foolish's character, a totem demigod who was insanely good at building (mostly because Foolish in real life is, watch his QSMP streams if you wanna see a more recent example.) She adopted him and became his father (she preferred to use masculine terms). I didn’t expect people to think this one was made up tbh it’s one of the more normal family tree stuff.

Oh boy, I’ve been WAITING to talk about this one. Okay, so Tommy's character was in a DEEPLY abusive friendship with Dream's character (who was the main antagonist of most storylines). This started after Dream's character manipulated events to have him exiled to a deserted beach and physically and mentally abused him into becoming his “ally” (he escaped) but continued through basically any scene they shared together, up until the literal end of the series though it probably wasn’t intentional there because it just makes the whole thing very uncomfortable (I am not going to talk about the finale anymore because I have zero positive words towards it and genuinely don’t understand why people like it). Inexplicably, this was one of the most realistic and harrowing depictions of abuse and trauma I’ve seen in ANY media. It’s great. I could go on about it for paragraphs and paragraphs but I already do that every day on my blog because they’re my deepest special interest ever. Send me an ask about these two specifically if you wanna know more I think about them non stop.

Jack's character was killed by Tommy's character while he was in exile (Tommy's character didn’t mean to kill him, but he was still a dick about it and meant to hurt him), and this deeply traumatised him. Jack's character placed a lot of his anger and frustration around everything on the server onto Tommy's character after this, and tried to murder him dozens of times. The issue was that he was incredibly awful at it to the point Tommy's character was genuinely unaware he was trying to kill him and just thought they were hanging out as friends still. He literally nuked the guy and it didn’t work. (Twice technically but the second time killed literally everyone and he only tampered with it).

Wilbur's character died after going through a mental breakdown, destroying a country, and committing assisted suicide, and came back as a ghost named Ghostbur (full name Ghostbur Boo). He couldn’t remember any traumatic experiences and as such was pretty forgetful and struggled to do a lot of things, but he always remembered his favourite sheep friend (all lower case) who turned out to be immortal. It was initially believed his father kept replacing the sheep when it died to try and keep him happy, but later events only make sense if friend was truly immortal. Ghostbur on at least one occasion referred to friend as his girlfriend in Dutch- it’s not entirely clear if he just misspoke or if they were actually dating, considering Wilbur's character did have a child with another animal (see above).

Finally is the Egg! I’m glad to see this last, it shows it’s gotten more appreciation and love. It’s not my special interest but it’s a lot of people's favourite arc and it got fucked over by the FUCKING FINALE and it deserved more love. Anyway, so this story arc started when Bad Boy Halo's character found a red egg under the ground that mind controlled him and eventually his friends into serving it and helping it grow. It took over a lot of the server and hurt and traumatised a lot of people, and it eventually possessed Puffy's character and took over the entire server (and then it got reset by the stupid goddamn finale before they could do anything with it and then the server died).

(ppl who know please don’t vote lol reblog for more reach)

[mediaevalmusereads]

Too Sinful to Deny. By Erica Ridley. 2011, 2019.

Rating: 3.5/5 stars

Genre: historical romance

Series: Gothic Love Stories #2

Summary: One look at the towering ocean-side manor that is to be her new home, and exiled socialite Susan Stanton knows: This is a place haunted by secrets, and riddled with menace.

For Susan, there is no escaping the most dangerous element of all—dark-haired smuggler Evan Bothwick, a man whose rakish countenance cannot hide his wicked intent.

But Susan has a secret of her own—a special gift that renders her privy to the darkest mysteries lurking within the walls of the manor and in the labyrinthine cellars beneath. And the only man who can help her is the very rogue she would do anything to be able to resist…

***Full review below.***

CONTENT WARNINGS: blood, murder, imprisonment/abuse, suicide, explicit sexual content, ableism

OVERVIEW: I read the first book of this series for Halloween, and since I'm a Gothic Girlie, I thought what the heck - I'll read the rest. I had a good enough time; though this isn't the best-executed romance I've read, I did find myself intrigued and delighted, which is enough. Thus, this book gets 3.5 stars from me.

WRITING: Ridley's prose is fairly good in this book. It's about what you'd expect of the romance genre: quick, easy to digest, a hunt of humor and eccentricity (without being overwhelming). It did it's job, and I can't fault it for things that are hallmarks of the genre.

PLOT: The non-romance plot of this book follows Susan Stanton, a 20 year-old well-bred lady who is sent to the remote town of Bournesmouth after being caught up in one too many scandals. Susan is determined to marry a rich man with a title to secure her future, but her banishment to Bournesmouth poses a unique challenge. Not only is she far away from proper society, but there seems to be something amiss in her host's home.

This book felt less "Gothicy" than some of my other Haloween romance reads, so if you're going in hoping for something traditional, you'll be disappointed. The manor itself really isn't the object of intrigue; it's more the threat of isolation and the nefarious goings-on by the seaside.

Still, there were things I liked. I enjoyed the ghosts and the overall mystery. The feeling of isolation and desertion was palpable. There was also quite a lot going on, but rather than feeling like my attention was pulled in a dozen different directions, everything felt more or less related. There was just... a lot.

There were some things, however, that didn't quite click for me. For one, I felt like there wasn't enough done to present Susan's host as a real threat. They don't even know who each other is and she's staying in his house without making a real protest, and even after we learn about their connection, the host doesn't exactly seem like an active participant in the plot - but more on that below.

I also think the interactions between Susan and the women in town were a bit tedious. I'm fine with a little conflict between women, but this felt over the top and not fully explored - especially towards the end.

CHARACTERS: Susan, our heroine, bothered me at first but grew on me over time. She starts out as this somewhat uppity town lady, but over time, she proves that she has a backbone and actively tries to do the right thing. It was a fun evolution to follow.

Evan, our hero, was interesting in that he was both not a titled hero and an unrepentant rake. I feel like most rakes I read have a secret heart of gold, so I was intrigued by a character who self-admittedly only sees women as objects for pleasure. Some readers might hate him, but watching him reform and finally break was narratively satisfying.

Other characters were fine; some felt well-used while others felt underdevelopped. Susan's host - Ollie - felt like he existed on the periphery of the story when his threatening presence could have inserted more tension. The subplot with the town women and the magistrate was fine but could get tedious. Without spoiling anything, I will say there is one character that Susan meets at the manor who seems to be forgotten half the time. But eventually, that character takes center stage, so it turned out ok.

ROMANCE: The romance between Susan and Evan was kind of fun. I liked their dynamic and how they absolutely irritated one another; it made for some silly banter that helped alleviate some of the dread and the doctor moments. But I also appreciated that a big part of their arc involved learning to trust one another with real stakes at play. Their troubles were not just miscommunication issues, but real misalignment of values that they had to work on.

It wasn't always satisfying. I'm still not sure that the story convinced me that Evan had truly changed or that his resect for Susan would continue once the whole mystery was solved. But as a standalone plot with a small scope, it was entertaining.

TL;DR: There's a lot going on in Too Sinful to Deny, and not all the plot threads are explored fully. But it was interesting enough to keep me turning the page, and I'm always a sucker for the reformed rake trope.

[thespoonisvictory]

sometimes I wish I could just use ‘it just wouldn’t make sense narratively!’ as an argument.

lets use the idea I’ve seen floating around that c!wilbur was always evil/power-hungry/whatever word in this case means ‘bad’. we could sit here and argue that point all day, especially given that the early l’manburg lore was much more vague and generally less serious, and that a lot of people didn’t get to watch it live meaning they experienced it differently.

however- looking at the larger narrative of c!wilbur’s story, him always being a villain just doesn’t make for an emotionally moving story. ‘bad guy gets what’s coming to him’ doesn’t work when it ends with the bad guy begging to be killed because he thinks everyone hates him. wilbur’s story is at it’s strongest when you view it as a well-intentioned, kind, and ambitious, although flawed person, slowly spiraling due to unchecked trauma and mental health issues. ‘good guy goes bad’ is more effective than ‘bad guy gets bad’, or, the tragic hero arc doesn’t work without the ‘hero’. to insist that wilbur was always evil understates not only the immense about of work cc!wilbur put in to make his character sympathetic, but also undermines the emotional climax of s1. 

even moving into s2, it’s important for the character’s grief that c!wilbur was, in some capacity, a good person. niki spends a long time caught up in grief, tommy has massively conflicting feelings about wilbur, as does fundy. it’s important to their story that wilbur at one point was someone they loved and looked up to, otherwise the resolution of their arcs would lead to ‘oh that guy was actually the worst and it’s for the best that he’s dead’. 

another one: c!wilbur actually manipulated c!dream into being evil, and c!dream wasn’t actually at fault for spiraling how he did.

once again, we could throw evidence and argue day and night (and I do, sometimes), but that’s not my real issue:

in the vault, when dream has exposed his master plan of taking everyone’s attachments, only to be defeated, taking that autonomy away from c!dream undermines the catharsis you’re meant to feel. if you’re meant to feel as though this is not dream’s fault and it’s actually c!wilbur or even c!sapnap as I’ve seen suggested, it would not be narratively satisfying to see c!dream get defeated by everyone finally working together to take him down. it makes the story structure worse by denying tommy the ability to take down his enemy.

c!dream is literally a textbook abuser, undeniably. when watching the exile arc, to repeatedly try to sympathize with the abuser is going to make the story unsatisfying, because it is pretty clear that the story is narratively not going to side with the guy who murders children. in order for you to say that other characters made him that way, you introduce an element of blame into the story that is never going to be addressed because the story is not going to side with the abuser, and I don’t think it’s a good idea to. 

(a very similar idea applies to c!schlatt apologism)

the dream smp is very unique in how it tells its story, and every single character is morally gray because of it. but, there are times when I want to say ‘to actually have this be a fact of the narrative would literally break the story structure clearly set up, why would you want this to be true.’