#And then I watched it and was like oh no no no i perfectly understand the appeal of the climbing scene hahah

[pboogerswbb]

TOO LOST IN YOU - part V

Paige Bueckers x bartender!oc

playlist, part I, part II, part III, part IV

Warnings: toxic!p, language, sexual themes, themes of cheating etc

Wordcount: 5.8k

A/N: WE ARE BACK! no smut in this one sorry ik you love it but i think this a bit of a turning point in the fic :) again pls send me feedback and live reactions! it's the best part of writing this series ANYWAY GO READ ty for everything you guys do

-

We’re both sweaty, my skin sticking to hers as we try and catch our breaths - that fourth round had really done us in. If it hadn’t been for me, I’m sure the blonde next to me would’ve gone for fifth. That damn athlete’s stamina. This had become a daily routine the past week, ever since our sleepover.

“You stayin’ over, right?” Paige asks, hand in my hair brushing through it gently. I consider it, the idea of falling asleep in her arms, getting to wake up being held tight by her warming me, but in the back of my mind there’s something gnawing at me. I’m pretty sure I had something to do tonight. Oh right. Jay. Shit.

Clumsily climbing out of bed and pulling on my clothes with urgency makes Paige let out a confused chuckle as she sits up, watching me closely. “Damn ma, chill, you can go if you want.”

“No, I just-” I mumble through my red knitted sweater, pulling it over my head. “I was supposed to see Jay.” In fact Jay had insisted we celebrate because it’s been exactly a month since we started seeing each other. I didn’t really get it. Maybe if we were actually dating, and even then just after one month felt… Excessive to me. But she had insisted.

Paige goes uncharacteristically quiet for a moment, a hint of something unfamiliar on her face as I pull up my flared yoga pants. I check myself in the mirror, mascara smudged over undereyes, lipstick all over my face and my perfectly styled blowout matted at the back - I looked completely fucked out. The hickey on my collarbone, and the smell of Paige’s cologne on my clothes didn’t help my case.

“Paigeee!” I groan at the reflection staring back at me, scrunching my face as I force my long brown locks into a high ponytail, but the blonde sitting behind me on her purple comforter remains quiet, eyes low and face stoic. It’s so unlike her I turn around, tightening my pony as I watch her concerned. “P?”

She finally lifts her gaze from the corner of her room to meet my face, smiling weakly. I could tell something was off, and it made my stomach stir. Before I can ask Paige leans her head against the wall behind her, looking to the ceiling and taking a deep breath.

“You sure you can’t stay?”

It sounds vulnerable, almost pleading if I didn’t know better. For a moment I waver, but instead I brush it off, turning back to the mirror and fixing my makeup while Paige watches on the bed.

“Nah, she wanted to celebrate our one month… Something,” I murmur, reapplying the maroon lipstick.

A deep sigh from Paige fills the room as she fidgets with her hands before bringing them up to her jaw, rubbing it.

“Why are you with her?”

“Huh?” I ask, turning to her but she won’t meet my gaze.

“You heard me, why are you with her?”

I’m baffled, astonished by the question. A blush rising to my cheeks I suddenly feel defensive for some reason - mostly because there was no good reason. Jay was nice enough and I liked her company. Sometimes. But at least I knew for certain she would never do what Paige had done to me in the past. Never.

“Because she’s good to me! How’s that any of your business anyway?” my voice rises as I ask, my arms crossing but Paige is quick to get up and walk over to me, pulling me into a hug.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry, you right,” she quickly lets out, rubbing up and down my back and the anger immediately subsides. “Stupid question, sorry.” She sounds almost scared. I had never heard her sound like that. Trying to understand what it meant made my mind turn to mush so I focus on the way she kisses my forehead and holds my face, our eyes meeting.

“Thursday then? After my game?” Paige suggests, now kissing my neck, making me forget all about who was waiting for me. My eyes flutter shut as I hum, trying to answer.

“I can’t,” I murmur, Paige’s lips doing their best work as her teeth nibble my earlobe making me hiss. “Me and Jay are gonna come watch you play,” I admit breathlessly, making her pull away from me.

“Seriously?” She asks, brows furrowed in annoyance. I shrug, unsure why she was so upset.

“I’ve been beggin’ for you to come see me play and nothin’? But for Justine…?”

“It’s her birthday! I promised I’d do what she wanted!” I argue, my voice rising the tiniest bit once more.

Paige looks at the ground and shakes her head frustrated, breathing heavy through her mouth. I couldn’t help but feel a little bad, I never in a million years thought she cared this much about me seeing her play. I didn’t even care about going with Jay. Honestly, I just wanted to see Paige in her element. I loved listening to her talk about ball, the way her eyes sparkled with knowledge and passion. She might be a piece of shit and an asshole but I really admired her resilience and ambition. If Paige was anything it was incredibly focused and dedicated. Sometimes to her own fault, I thought.

“Besides I bet Claire or-”

“Clara.”

“Right, Clara, will be there to watch you play!” Her name tastes sour in my mouth.

“I don’ care about her, want you watchin’ me!”

“Well I will be watchin’ you!”

“With Justine!” Paige groans with a roll of her eyes, her hands waving around as she speaks. I watch her bewildered when it hits me. She’s jealous. Paige Bueckers is jealous.

“You’re jealous?” slips from my mouth with a confused scoff, making Paige freeze. She looks at me for a moment, debating, then shaking her head.

“No. I just- I don’ wanna talk about it, I don’t wanna fight,” she sighs, rubbing the bridge of her nose with her fingers. There’s a hint of defeat in her voice which makes me waver. My annoyance and confusion slip away as I watch the way her blue eyes soften. 

“Let’s not fight Val, please.”

“Okay,” I hum and let her pull me into a hug. As her nose buries into my hair, for a second I think she’s smelling it, inhaling carefully - but I must be mistaken. She had never done that before.

“P I gotta go,” I murmur against her chest, not wanting to but knowing Jay was growing more and more suspicious as time passed. Frankly, we still weren’t exclusive so none of this was technically cheating. Still, I hadn’t told her. I had convinced myself that eventually I would. I just don’t know when.

“I’ll walk you,” she whispers, making me chuckle.

“Yeah that wouldn’t be sus at all huh?”

Paige grins, looking down at me. “Just tell her we’re fucking around.”

With a furrow of my brows I shake my head. “Nah.”

“Why?”

“Because.”

Paige is smirking smugly now, staring into me. “Oh because then you’d have to tell her how I fuck you better than she do?”

I blush and roll my eyes. I wasn’t about to admit she was right.

Pushing her off me, I grab my bag from the floor and give her one last glance. She reaches her hand to my jaw and holds it, pressing a tender kiss to my lips making my heart flutter for a second.

“Text me when you’re there ma,” she murmurs against my lips before letting go and opening her door for me.

“I will.”

Waving bye to Jana and Allie too who I’d become friendly with this last week, I walk out of the dorm into the chilly evening, February still forcing me to wear my white puffer jacket. I wrap it around me tightly as I hurry towards Jay’s dorm, trying not to think myself to the grave over Paige’s behaviour  - loving, caring, a different Paige than I knew last fall. I almost wish she was the same as she used to be, the careless player who didn’t let me sleep over or get to know her roommates. Because now I had what I had always wanted from her. Except it wasn’t a dream come true. It was terrifying. My heart wanted to give in, to let myself feel. But I was horrified of what she could do again, how she might hurt me this time.

I’m still in my thoughts when I reach Jay’s door, knocking on it urgently. Before I can even lower my hand, she opens the door, a frown on her face.

“You’re late.” she says, letting me in nevertheless. The room is lit with candles, homemade dinner gone cold on the plates and a bouquet of flowers in a vase - my heart sinks. Not because I missed out on what Jay had planned, but because I didn’t want this. Not from her. I felt like a piece of shit for thinking that this was way too much. But it’s true. 

“Fuck Jay, I’m so sorry. I got caught up at Ted’s. I didn’t know a Tuesday night would be this busy,” I chuckle trying to lighten the mood, seeing a teddy bear with a big red bowtie sitting on the couch, giving me the creeps.

“Whatever Val,” she sighs, clearing the plates away. I watch, not sure what to say.

“Your roommates, where-”

Jay turns to me, tears in her eyes. “I paid them both to be out tonight, to make tonight special. But you didn’t even come.”

“I’m here now!” I say, walking over and grabbing her hands. I never knew what to do when someone cried, I wasn’t the consoling type, I was the advice type. My friends didn’t come to me to be comforted, they came to me to know what to do next. I always had a plan. But this was way out of my comfort zone. I hated when girls cried because of me.

“Look, I’m sorry, it was so busy. I didn’t even realise I was late,” I lie, looking straight into her blue eyes. It’s hard, I don’t like it, but the words slip from my lips more easily than I thought. 

Jay pouts and nods, wiping the tears from her eyes. “It’s not your fault just… next time call.” Her voice is weak. I really felt like an asshole. I had to end it with Paige, I knew I did. I just simply couldn’t. My heart didn’t let me for some reason.

“Okay, I’m sorry Jay. C’mere.” I pull her into a kiss, but it feels wrong, icky almost. She kisses me back though, her hands wrapping around my waist. I catch a whiff of Paige’s cologne on my sweater.

“Let’s order pizza, okay?” I ask against her lips, not wanting to open my eyes and face reality, the tugging of my heartstrings. I felt like I was being ripped apart, stuck between crossroads. I could feel myself falling for Paige. I knew it by the way my heart ached when we said goodbye, the way my eyes were constantly looking for her in a crowd. I was falling for her, yes. But the moment I admitted that the fear would come roaring in, like a tide, ready to bury everything underneath it. She had so many tools to hurt me, so many that she was unaware of. God if she knew how I felt I’m sure I’d never heard from her again. It would ruin everything. Being with Jay was good, secure, the right thing to do. Even if I didn’t feel half as much for her, my heart didn’t flutter for her - at least she couldn’t break it either.

-

Be you. Be great.

I watch the text from my dad flash on my screen, sitting in front of my cubby, legs bouncing nervously. I already knew we’d win today - we weren’t playing anyone special. An attitude Geno would surely smack the back of my head for, but it’s simply true. It wasn’t the upcoming game making my finger tap nervously against the back of my phone, it was the text I had typed out, my finger hovering over the send button, making my stomach flutter.

Miss u Val

“Yo warmups!” KK snaps me out of my trance, my finger accidentally pressing down on the send button. Shit. Now Valerie was gonna know I miss her. 

Sure it had only been a couple days since she was last in my arms, but being away from her made my heart ache. Usually the more I saw a girl the less I wanted to see her. Valerie, however, seemed to have the opposite effect. I couldn’t get enough. Guess it had something to do with the “feelings” I had for her.

“Shit you scared me,” I chuckle, my cheeks turning red as I hide the screen which KK does not miss. She grins at me, elbowing my shoulder teasingly.

“You texting Valerie?”

“Yooo,” I roll my eyes but don’t deny it, a sly smile forming on my face. Raising my brows and scratching the back of my head I look at the shorter girl standing in front of me. “She’s comin’ to watch tonight.”

“Oh forreal?”

“With Justine,” I scoff, standing up to join KK in heading in for the warmups, my jersey on, hidden underneath the warmup clothes. She snorts and shakes her head.

“Crazy work to name a child that,” She laughs.

Nodding, I snort a little. “That’s what I’m sayin’ like.” I might joke, but Justine was the one getting to bring Valerie to a game. Not me. I would take a stupid name like that too if it meant I got to do that.

“You jealous?” KK asks, noticing the way my teeth grind together. I quickly shake my head, not very convincingly, but flexing a little to make up for it. “Nah, I’m the ultimate rizzler remember? Nothin’ to worry ‘bout.”

Truthfully? I was a little worried. Taking a deep breath I try to push that feeling away as we enter the court, the seats slowly filling as the crowd makes their way in.

“Bro just tell her how you feel,” KK murmurs as we both stretch, watching some of the girls running around the court.

Her words make me scoff, how naive. “It’s not that simple,” my voice is stern. No one seemed to understand the pressure I was under, not even my best friend. To even suggest something like that felt insane. I couldn’t tell Valerie. Not with a natty on the line, not with all this pressure. 

Besides, what then? She feels the same and we date? I’d make a shit girlfriend, I know it. I was too selfish, an asshole. I wasn’t girlfriend material. Not for anyone as special, as precious as my Valerie. All she did was complicate things. Even now, my head was spinning with the thought of her. As if I don’t have to be at my best, have my head in the game in like an hour. God, I need to get a grip. Maybe I deserved to lose today. I was unfocused, a disappointment.

“Girl you’re an idiot,” KK sighs as we jog up and down the court. My eyes are immediately looking over the student section when her golden brown hair glimmers in the light like a beacon just for me to find her. She’s sitting in the third row, legs crossed in a mini denim skirt, much too short for the weather outside. An oversized black sweater reveals her left shoulder and collarbone, the mark I had left visible to everyone. Bold. I suppose Jay must have thought it was her doing. Boy if she knew. Part of me wanted everyone to know she’s mine. Only she wasn’t.

It’s not just Valerie’s hair, but the gold dangling on her wrist as she brushes her hair back, the rings decorating her fingers and the earrings contrasting against her dark locks that make the whole place shimmer, all because of her. I simply can’t look away. My twisted fantasies of having some sort of ownership over the brunette is quickly interrupted when Justine’s hand wraps around her shoulders and I notice the blonde girl, kissing Valerie’s cheek. My Valerie’s. I nearly trip over my feet, making KK laugh out loud - her laughter echoing around the court, taunting me.

-

“Guys what the hell is wrong with you, we should be up by 20 at this point against a school like this? That was the worst offense I’ve seen in my who-”

Geno’s scolding is ear-piercing as I sit in the dressing room next to the other girls, my elbows leaving red marks on my thighs as I lean against them and wipe the sweat dripping down my neck. My chest heaves as Geno takes turns chewing off each of us, dreading for my own turn.

We were only leading by four pathetic points, and had to struggle even for that. It was all my fault, I already knew. I didn’t need Geno or anyone to tell me that. I was unfocused, making bad decisions, causing turnovers - I even missed a free throw for the sole reason that just moments before I had seen Jay’s lips pressing into Valerie’s. God, just the thought was making me feel sick.

“Paige,” Geno’s stern voice snaps me out of it, my eyes lifting to meet his. But all he does is shake his head, and it’s even worse than him yelling at me. I wanted him to cuss me out, anything else.  “You know,” he simply says and I nod. I did know.

At least now I had the confirmation of everything I had suspected all along. A girl was nothing but a disturbance, a hitch in my plans. I can’t believe I had let myself do this, get distracted because of some girl. A classic fool. And I was about to make a fool out of my whole team too.

Once Geno leaves and gives us some time before the third quarter, I check my phone, my repentant thoughts quickly subsiding when I see the texts.

i miss you too p

fuck you look hot in that jersey

okay biceps you looking swole? when have you had time to hit the gym that much

wish i could come spend the night

My heart flutters, all of it is flattering sure. But it’s the first and last message that get me to take deep breaths. She misses me. She wants to spend the night with me. The weight on my chest eases up.

U should come over after

i can’t

promised jay

Fuck Justine 

Just come up w sumn

you really miss me that bad?

So fucking bad baby

Going to ted’s after the game

ok i’ll figure something out

Something about the texting and the adrenaline from the game made me bolder, more honest.

Valerie?

yeah?

U look gorgous

Gorjes

gorgeous?

Shut up it’s hard to spell :(

student athlete who

Gotta go warm up

paige?

Yeah?

go kill em

-

It’s hard to miss the moment the Huskies walk in, all in a big group in their navy blue Uconn trackies laughing and hyping up the blonde in the middle, whose face is scrunched up as she tells them to chill. I knew Paige well enough that she didn’t mean any of that, she loved the limelight.

All of the second half of the game Paige had been glowing on the court, completely unguardable, the star I always knew she was. With her help the Huskies had won with a 20 point lead despite the rough first half. I could’ve watched her forever. Every shot, every pass, every block had me on my toes, and I swear I was always the first one to jump to my feet to cheer for her. I forgot about the crowd, even Jay next to me. On the court it might as well just have been Paige Bueckers, I wouldn’t have noticed the difference.

“Babe, tell Alex I’m right!” Jay interrupts my thoughts, forcing my eyes to snap from Paige to her sitting around a table with some of her friends, a red partyhat on her head for the birthday celebration.

I blink stupidly, having missed the whole conversation.

“Shots for everyone!!” I hear Paige yell behind me, forcing a crooked smile to grow on my face.

“Uh sorry I couldn’t hear you,” I admit, glancing over my shoulder hoping the tall blonde would notice me eyeing her. She was too busy leaning over the bar, clearly eager for the drinks.

Jay giggles and presses a wet kiss on my forehead. “You’re so cute,” she murmurs. I nearly vomit. 

Suddenly claustrophobic from her closeness, I brush Jay’s hand away. “I need another drink.”

“But you still have some-”

I quickly down the rest of my vodka soda, before standing up and taking quick steps in my boots towards the group of really, really tall girls surrounding Paige, flutters in my stomach growing with each step.

“Valerie!” KK is the first to notice me and wrap an arm around me. The sound of my name makes Paige’s head snap towards my direction, the smile on her face only growing wider when she sees me. Without thinking and before I can stop her, Paige is wrapping her hands around my waist and spinning me in the air, giggling, her head on my shoulder.

“Oh my God put me down!” My command is not cogent, the chuckles making me less convincing. Paige obeys anyway and lets me go, both of us glancing towards the table where Jay is sitting, still immersed in conversation with her friends. Feeling bold, Paige’s hand rapidly slides down my back to my ass, groping it harshly before letting go. The fact that Jay could see only makes me want her to do it again. Maybe I should see a therapist.

“Val I know you’re not working but can you make the Shirleys pleaaaase,” the blonde in front of me begs, her pleading blue eyes almost getting to me. “They’re fire.”

“No! I’m a free woman tonight!” I proclaim, leaning my elbows against the bar. Paige does the same, her side pressing into mine sending jolts all over me. 

“Fine, whatchu drinkin’ ma?” she asks. “Vodka soda?”

“With crush-”

“Crushed lime, I know.”

Paige orders the drink, paying for it without making it a big deal in any way. I always found her smoothness so incredibly sexy. Right now as she stood there, elbows on the bar, chewing on her bottom lip, shower fresh and beaming from the win, I swear I had never felt so attracted to her. It wasn’t just pure lust, but something else too. Something more.

“That third quarter,” I start, the praise immediately causing a smirk to grow on the blonde’s face.

“Yeah? You watched me?” she asks, already knowing the answer.

I smile too, looking down to my feet. “You were born to do that.”

When our eyes meet again there’s a hint of something vulnerable and genuine in Paige’s expression. All the other noise seems to quiet down, leaving us in our own bubble, just us two. It bursts quickly when I feel a hand wrap around my waist. I know who it is before I even look, evident by the pure annoyance on Paige’s face.

“Hey babe are you fangirling over here?” She jokes, kissing my cheek. I pull away a little but Jay’s a few too many drinks in to notice.

Paige quickly smiles and shakes her head, sipping her drink. “Nah, I was. She makes the best dirty Shirley around, trust.”

I stare into her blue eyes, secretly enjoying this little game we were playing. Tiptoeing the line between strangers and something more.

“Yeah she insisted on getting me a drink for all the times she’s been yelling into my ear to play Drake,” I tease back, my mind immediately going to the many nights Paige had made her way behind the bar, one time even getting on her knees on the disgusting, sticky floor and begging me to let her play a few songs. From the smirk on her face, I know Paige is thinking the same.

Jay’s eyebrows shoot up watching us, clearly surprised. “Hm. No one told me you two know each other that well.”

“I mean we don’t, I just know she works here,” Paige quickly corrects, her brows furrowing as she points to me. “Your name’s uh… Vivien?”

“Valerie.”

Paige and me both smirk a little, Jay missing it completely. 

“Riiight sorry,” Paige grins, sipping her drink and turning to the blonde next to me. “Sick hat.” She’s being sarcastic.

“Thanks man, it’s my birthday,” Jay answers, a little flustered at the attention she was getting from the girl in front of us.

“Damn, happy birthday,” Paige says politely, patting Jay’s shoulder in a manner only I knew was condescending. 

Excusing herself, Paige leaves me and the blonde girl by the bar, every cell in my body screaming to follow her.

“Paige Bueckers just wished me happy birthday,” Jay says in awe.

-

The girl whose waist I’m holding, kissing my neck might as well not exist - I barely notice her. My stare is locked on Valerie and Justine, giggling and dancing in the corner of the packed bar. They look happy. 

A pang of guilt washes over me momentarily. Here’s Justine who, yeah sure is short, but really seems to like Valerie, takes good care of her. And maybe Valerie would learn to be happy with her if I just let her. The nauseating images of them adopting a dog together, getting married, raising children and growing old with each other flash through my mind. It’s enough to cause a tremble in my lower lip, my eyes welling up. The ache in my chest was trying to tell me something I wasn’t ready to admit.

“Can we go back to yours?” Clara hums, her teeth nibbling on my earlobe when a single tear rolls down my right cheek. I quickly wipe it off, my eyes finally turning to the girl next to me. To my relief she’s too busy trying to turn me on to notice my red eyes.

“Not now Clara,” I murmur, my voice barely audible over the music and chatter.

The girl’s face scrunches up in annoyance as I push her off me, gently but with a firm hand.

“What’s your problem? You’ve been like this all night, it’s like I’m not even here.”

“Not now.” I rub the bridge of my nose, closing my eyes and trying to take calming breaths.

“If you don’t want me he-”

“I don’t want you here Clara, I didn’t even ask you to come.”

There’s a moment of heavy silence between us, the girl next to me staring at me with wide eyes, hurt written all over her face. I wasn’t strong enough to fight how I felt anymore. It was time to face my feelings, even if it scared me.

“This is over, okay?” I admit, my gaze meeting Clara’s. She blinks at me slowly, processing. I feel like I should say something, explain myself. But nothing I could say would make it better so I stay quiet.

In silence, I watch Clara hop down from the bar stool and look at me one more time.

“My friends were right about you.”

With that she leaves Ted’s and relief washes over me. I grab my phone, and type out a text.

I’m sorry but I can’t see u anymore, just got too much going on

I copy and paste it, sending the words to each girl on my roster, not bothering to wait for any responses before deleting their numbers. Zoe, Jenny, Sofia, all gone. It was almost exhilarating, the way my body worked before my brain could catch up. Glancing to the opposite corner of the bar I finally catch Valerie’s eye. I nod my head towards the bathrooms before heading in myself. She’s quick to follow, leaving Justine behind. It was time to be brave, the kind of person who deserved Valerie.

The bathrooms are tiny, both of us making the space more cramped when I let Valerie in, locking the door behind us. Before she can say anything, her big brown eyes blinking at me, I’m kissing her. Not with any other agenda except aching to feel her lips on mine. My left hand cups her face, right hand holding her body close to me by her waist. Hungry for more, my tongue slips between her lips.

“Paige…” Valerie’s voice is soft against my lips, her breathing heavy as her hands hold my hips. 

“Shh,” I hum, my hands gently brushing through her hair as my kisses turn from hungry to loving, our lips slowing down in their dance. After a while we both pull away breathless, our foreheads resting against one another. Before my brain catches up, the words spill from my mouth.

“Leave her.”

Valerie’s brown eyes widen as she leans her head back to look at me.

“I- huh?” 

I swallow, thinking about doubling down for an instant. No. This needs to be it. Be brave Paige.

“Justine. Leave her.” There’s a hint of anxiety in my trembling voice, but the way I stare at the brunette girl in front of me lets her know I’m serious. Her expression is hard to read, the cramped space muffling the sounds of the world outside. In this moment it’s just us. Frankly, I had no idea what I was doing. I might really screw us up now. Lose her forever. But I didn’t have any fight left in me. It was bound to happen.

“Why?” she asks, her dark brows furrowing a little.

I scoff lightly, taking her hands in mine.

“Why? You know why.”

From the way Valerie blinks at me confirms that she did know - this wasn’t just sleeping around anymore, this had gone beyond. We both knew.

My thumbs smooth over the soft skin of her petite hands, the red polish decorating her nails, the chunky gold rings cool against my fingertips. I was trying to be patient, giving her time to process. But the pounding in my chest was making me lightheaded, the anxiety making my cheeks turn red. I felt vulnerable, exposed, terrified. Yet, I don’t speak or hurry her.

“No, stop it.”

Before I realise what’s happening, Valerie pulls her hands away from me, her eyes full of suspicion. My stomach stirs as she reaches for the door but I stop her.

“No, wait, please Val,” I plead, hand on the door handle.

“I can’t do this again,” Valerie cries out, her eyes filling with tears. I reach to wipe them away but she moves back from me. It breaks my heart.

“No ma, ‘s not like that this time. I left Clara, I left all of ‘em. Fuck all of ‘em ok? I don’t want ‘em!” My voice is desperate, chasing the brunette’s brown eyes as she avoids my gaze. 

“I need some air,” she murmurs, unlocking the door. However she doesn’t get far before bumping into Justine’s chest, standing right outside the bathroom eyeing both of us.

All three of us go silent as the blonde girl stares dumbfounded. 

“What the fuck is going on?” She slurs, alcohol evident in her voice.

“Jay I-” Valerie starts but Justine is quick to flip around and take hurried steps towards the exit. I follow the brunette out of Ted’s, the parking lot quiet on a rainy night.

“Jay, please wait! Let me explain!” Valerie pleads, grabbing Justine’s hand but she pushes her away, forcing the brunette to stumble back a little. My fingers flex with anger as I step between the two girls.

“Whoa, yo nuh uh,” I say sternly, shaking my head at Justine who’s looking at me like she might actually jump me. I wasn’t worried, I could take her. “Don’t touch her.”

The blonde scoffs, rolling her eyes. “You can’t tell me not to touch my girl!”

Her girl? I feel anger rising from my gut, heat ascending to my neck and cheeks. I step into her space, looking down at her as I do. 

“Don’t you get it?” I chuckle, an arrogant smirk on my face, basking in the way she had to tilt her head up to look at me. “Val’s not your girl.”

“Paige-” Valerie’s voice is careful behind me, her hand gently reaching for my forearm.

“You wanna know why she been too tired to come over? Because she’s been in my bed, getting fucked like she deserv-”

“PAIGE!”

Valerie pulls me back by my arm, her eyes wide and furious as she looks up at me. The adrenaline was making me bold, I wanted the world to know she’s mine. No one else’s. My Valerie.

“Fuck you both.” Justine slurs, heading back inside the bar, clearly not the fighting type. Deep deep down I wish she had jumped me just so I had the excuse to punch her at least once for calling Valerie her girl.

The brunette lets go of me and scoffs, shaking her head as she starts walking away from me. Suddenly coming to my senses, I follow behind her apologetically.

“Ma, wait.”

“Paige what are you doing?” She cries out, a desperate frustration evident in the way she speaks as she turns to look at me.

I step into her space, hands itching to touch her. Better not. Not right now. Biting my lower lip I sigh and shake my head.

“Sorry it just pissed me off hearing her-”

She’s not listening but profusely shaking her head, eyes squeezing shut.

“I don’t understand you, I don’t get what you want from me!” She bursts out. My hands come to hold her shoulders, taking it as a good sign when she lets me.

“I want you Val,” I finally admit. Not just to her but to myself.

“But what does that even mean?!” She’s clearly frustrated, tired of the confusing cat and mouse game we’d been playing since we met. I was tired too.

“Look ma, I’m done with all the other girls, and you’re done with Justine. I dunno what that means but-”

“But what? We date? Become girlfriends? Then what?” She spews. I rub my forehead and eyes with my hand, feeling my head spinning. Maybe I hadn’t thought this through.

“Maybe-”

“Until you find the next girl you wanna fuck? Or freak out again?”

“No Val not this time-”

“How do you know?” She asks, a hint of desperation in her voice, looking for any sign that this was a risk worth taking.

“I uh,” I mumble, my skin turning hot, bringing my hands behind my head, rubbing my hair, trying to soothe myself.

“How do you know, Paige?!” Valerie screams, her big brown eyes pleading with me for a reason. Before my brain could catch up my mouth’s already forming the words. The words I had not had the time to admit to myself yet - that feeling that had been gnawing at me for weeks now. The twist in my gut, the dizziness in my head. I finally understood.

“Because I love you Valerie!”

-

taglist:  @thaatdigitaldiary @wbbismypassion69 @bueckersfive @onlyhereforpazzi @lovegalor333 @frankoceanlvr303039 @angryflowerwitch@mamixdanni @rosemariiaa @d3arapril @vbueckers @sageworld @makethemhoesmad @sierrale8ne @justliketoreadsowhat@oreo2sblog @sftlyortega @slvt4her @julieloveswbb@vsz333 @faeries-posts @vamptizm @ellapurnellmybeloved @ivorygoal @onlyhereforpazzi @thelightknight21@paigeluvvr@absolutelydreadful@imamartini@lupinqs@authentic-girl03@isurpussygreen@xxloveralways14 (SORRY IF I FORGOT TO TAG)

[moutainrusing]

love letters

786 words, @pandalilymicrofics

“Barty, I swear on my dad’s dead corpse, if you carry on simping over my brother, I will stab this pencil through your eye,” Pandora threatened, emphatically raising the fist clenched around her pencil.

“But Evan—”

“Do not. Say his name. Anymore,” Pandora shook the pencil, and Barty sighed wistfully. Fed up with this, Pandora suggested, “Why don’t you write him a love letter?”

“A love letter?” Barty pulled a face. “Ew?”

“How is a love letter more disgusting to you than the way you wax poetic about Evan out loud, to me?” Pandora bared her teeth in frustration. “It’s expressing the exact same thing that you already do in paper format and sending it to the actual recipient, instead of his sibling. Because in case you’ve forgotten, I’m related to Evan, and I don’t want to hear what you think about his mouth!”

Barty rolled his eyes, as if what Pandora was saying made no sense at all. “If I write this… love letter… you must give me something in return. After all, friendship is a business transaction.”

Pandora rolled her eyes. Sometimes, Barty made no sense at all.

Tapping his chin thoughtfully, Barty finally decided, “I’ll write him love letters instead of gushing to you all the time if you buy me lunch everyday.”

“Deal,” Pandora shook his hand. She also poked her pencil into his palm while doing so. The jury would be forever out on whether or not that was purposeful.

- - -

Dear the love of my life (Pandora: “Why are you calling him the love of your life?” Barty: “‘Cause this is a love letter? You basically told me to do that?”)

I am in love with you. (Pandora: “That’s unnecessary. It was stated in the first line.” Barty: “Was it though? Do you think your brother’s smart enough to understand if I don’t clarify?” Pandora: “…You make a good point.”)

Love from the love of your life (Pandora: “You’ve written ‘love’ way too many times.” Barty: “It’s a love letter!”)

- - -

“Now slip it through his locker,” Pandora advised.

“Where’s his locker?”

She shrugged, “Dunno.”

“You don’t know where your brother’s locker is?” Barty asked incredulously.

Haughtily, Pandora sniffed, “Stop acting like it’s an expectation of sibling relationships to know everything about each other.”

“It kinda is—”

“I think that’s his locker,” Pandora interrupted, pointing to a locker graffitied with ‘EVANS’ in bright red capital letters. Again, she sniffed disdainfully, “He’s the type to graffiti his locker. And miss out the apostrophe in Evan’s. It’s probably Evan’s locker,” she nodded. “It’s been branded Evan’s at least. Without the apostrophe. ‘Cause he’s a degenerate vandal.”

Bary side-eyed her, “I’ll never understand sibling rivalry…” He slid the folded paper through the frame, before the two of them shoved each other past the crowd of students, positioning themselves behind a vending machine to watch Evan’s supposed locker for any action.

But instead of Evan, a person who Pandora recognised very well, with the green eyes she’d dream about and the red hair she’d see while gazing at the person’s back during class, walked up to the locker. Oh. Evans. Lily Evans.

Suddenly, vandalism seemed very cool. And the graffiti was actually grammatically correct, so Pandora could let it slide. Plus, red was an ingenious colour choice, Lily’s taste was exquisite, Pandora was mesmerised by the sheer talent of it, the way the letters were perfectly positioned to spell out the surname of the love of her life. When Lily stood in front of her locker, rivulets of her red hair cascaded beside the graffiti, creating a remarkable gradient, perfectly blending orange into red like the sunset over a beach in the hot, humid summer—

Barty nudged her, probably to say that the mission had been a failure, except Pandora wasn’t really concentrating, so she stumbled out from behind the vending machine, winding up in the middle of the corridor and hovering there aimlessly.

Having read the letter, Lily looked around curiously, and Pandora was just there, staring at her. Eventually, Lily’s eyes landed on Pandora like darts pinning a dartboard, rendering her frozen in place, just looking at each other for an extended period of time, seconds which had slowed to hours, too long, this was dumb, Pandora should move, what was she doing? Then Lily smiled at her, hands fiddling with the corner of the letter.

She made her way towards Pandora, and they were both standing in the middle of the corridor, and Pandora’s heart was a drum beating inside her throat, reverberating through her body, echoing within her bones, loud, aggressive, but it calmed to the sound of waves in a conch shell when Lily said quietly, “Hi, love of my life.”

[starsungwithamelody]

do you write for oliver aiku? :3

-yep anon!! feel free to send in more requests!

car sex w Oliver Aiku

afab! reader

context- you just got stood up at a date, planned by anri of course. you’re sad, upset, kicking the bed, but then… you get a text.

your ex fling, Oliver Aiku

a/n- ignore how trash my writing has been… sorry

warnings- car sex, riding, a lil cunilingus and my horrible “fluff” or “angst” I DIDNT DO A PROOFREAD

its 10:38 pm

you’re laying in your bed, sighing about some random guy who stood you up! you are never trusting anri again, who would’ve known she was horrible at choosing blind dates?

you’re just doomscrolling now, liking and commenting on every somewhat cute guy.

“... this is so STUPID!”

you push your head in your pillows, swinging your legs around. maybe you’ll be alone for the rest of your life!

bzzt!

“please! please tell me that’s a like back!”

you rush to pick up your phone, a text from oliver. your ex-fling..

“you up?” -10:40 pm

oh. it’s this guy again! some stupid strong idiot with some really good dick! i mean you did sleep with him enough… for the number to be in the double digits.

whatever, you’re done with guys! they’re nothing but stupid-

bzzt!

he double texted?! what the fu- you rush to open the chat again.

“c’mon now, don’t leave me on read.” -10:43 pm

okay.. no way he just double texted! that means he definitely wants to fuck right now! wait what are you thinking girl? just one last night stand? your fingers start flying on the screen typing the most perfectly written text message back!

“haha yeah heyy” -10:44 pm

did you come off too strong?! whatever! he just wants to fuck and you don’t mind that!

“come outside cutie” -10:44 pm

wait. HES OUTSIDE?!

you quickly head out to your window, oh my god! he’s actually outside?! you quickly brush your hair and clean yourself up before you rush out the door.

“hey there!”

wait did you even reapply lipstick? did you just forget your phone? you’re so flustered and nervous about a guy you’ve fucked so many times already.

“you were ready for this?”

he looks up and down at you, a cute elegant blue dress. it’s not too revealing, but it makes you look gorgeous!

“oh! well.. my date stood me up earlier..”

you pause, taking a deep breath in.

“whatever.. he was really shitty anyway”

you feel aiku pull you into his arms, one of his hands pressing onto your back pulling you closer.

“ooh! aiku.. i don’t think this.. this is appropriate-“

he quickly shuts you up with a kiss, his other hand holding your head, keep you locked into the kiss. you can’t help but reciprocate the kiss back.

he only lets go after you’re left panting. he watches your eyes, you feel nervous. but then he speaks again.

“i want you back.”

he pauses, his hold on your back moving lower.

“i don’t want to keep just fucking like this.. i want you”

he pauses again, this time he looks through you. you start to sweat a little, no freaking way! no way he just said that!

“i need you, i can’t let some other guy have you for himself.”

is he for real? no way! he has to be lying right?

“im not lying sweetheart, you are the missing piece in my life”

he understood you, he understands you. you feel a real.. genuine connection with aiku, you’ve never felt any spark or connection with any guy.

“so please? will you be my girlfriend?”

you snap back into reality, quickly processing what he just said. maybe you’ll give him a chance.

“a-ah.. shit!”

you grip on to aiku’s shoulders tightly, he just keeps thrusting into you! the comfy leather seats are stained with a mix of your juices.

“fuuuckk… you’re so good to me baby..”

you press your head into his neck, peppering small kisses along his collarbone.

“hah-ha.. is this your way of thanking me?”

you can’t help but smile at his words, his hands tangle into your hair pulling you closer.

“you’re so warm y’know?”

he slowly moves your hands to your hips, keeping you bouncing on his shaft.

“soo.. glad that date stood you up”

he softly pecks a kiss to your cheek, moving down to your neck. you can barely respond, he’s just wayy too deep inside you! his hand moves to your stomach pressing on the bulge.

“just.. too big for you hm, your cunt is just begging for me right now…”

he laughs softly squeezing your hips, lifting your hips up again.

“yeah.. you’re too b-!“

your insides are immediately rearranged with one thrust.

“ahh.. fuckk..”

you look up at him, holding onto his biceps.

“i- i want more aiku..”

in a few seconds, oliver presses your back against the car seat. his hands keeping your legs pressed up to your chest. he quickly kisses your clit, licking up your juices.

“let’s do more then.. shall we?”

he lines himself against you, slowly teasing you with his tip. thrusting fully inside you when you start whining about how empty your stomach feels without, his finger pressing on the bulge on your stomach.

its gonna be a lonnnggg night for you two huh?

a/n- can you tell when i got bored of writing lololol

[ssentimentals]

Hi can I reuqest number 27 for mingyu and can you please make it like he's late to some date in his rs thank you!!

hi, hun! i assume it's from hurt prompts, because it's the only one that fits the 'late to date' part. hopefully i'm correct! 💜

hurt prompt: 'you're late.'

you wish you could be a bigger person about this. you wish you could be calm and understanding in this situation, but shame runs high along with humilation in your veins and by the time mingyu stumbles into the restaurant with hurried footsteps and dejected look on his face, you can't find it within yourself not to snap: 'you're late.'

mingyu takes a deep breath, looking a bit dishieveled after the run. he grabs the back of the chair and nods, looking apologetic. 'i'm sorry, baby, really sorry. got caught up at work and then at stupid traffic.'

it's a perfectly reasonable excuse. and you know that mingyu is not lying, so maybe being mad over it is not the best choice, but you waited here for thirty minutes all alone and pitying looks from waiters made your skin crawl and- 'it's our anniversary.' you point out, watching as mingyu settles comfortably in front of you, grabbing the menu. 'i waited for thirty minutes here.'

mingyu looks up and pouts. he reaches out for your hand across the table, taking it in his and squeezing. 'i didn't mean to. sorry, babe. it won't happen again, okay?' he sends you million dollar smile next, looking back at the menu. 'but let's celebrate now. have you ordered anything? i heard this place is the best for meat.'

lump in the throat is making it hard for you to swallow or to speak. you stare at your boyfriend, thinking when have you let this become normal. when did you slip? when did he get too comfortable? 'no flowers?' you ask, trying not to cry. 'no present?' your present for him is under your chair, but all you want to do with it right now is throw it into the bin.

'oh, about that,' mingyu looks up, smiling. 'i thought what could i get you and then realized that i can just take you shopping, babe. you can choose whatever you want. sounds good, yeah?' mingyu notices stiffness in your posture and sighs. 'i already apologized babe. i said it won't happen again.'

'yes.' you nod and stand up, feeling how hysterics are about to start any moment now. 'it won't happen again, mingyu. have a good dinner.' you grab your bag and his present under your chair. 'alone.'

mingyu is too stunned to even move as you turn and walk away. you catch one of the waiters nodding at you in approval and this makes few tears run down your face. you move on autopilot, still in disbelief how he doesn't run to come and get you.

'it's for better,' another woman - short blonde waiter - opening the door for you.

right now it feels like your heart is being torn apart by the hands of the person you loved the most. but maybe - you take a deep breath - maybe it really is for better.

a/n: request your own here! <3 - nini

[c-cobweb]

𝓓on't stand so close to me ⋮ colin zabel

⨾ “young teacher, the subject of schoolgirl fantasy. she wants him so badly” — the police.

ᡣ𐭩 . warnings ᯓ +18 mdni!, teacher!colin, student!reader, age gap (everyone is +18), smut, oral (m receiving). a/n ᯓ thanks @xrag-dollx for the idea! (again) ps: english is not my first language.

───────── ⋆⋅🕸️⋅⋆ ────────

You had been punished again for skipping math classes during the last week and you were upset about it. It wasn't your fault that Professor Johnson's classes were so boring.

But without a doubt the classes you never missed and the ones you were always the first to arrive were those of Professor Zabel. You were always attentive to everything that handsome man said and he, of course, noticed it.

When the bell that indicated that classes were over rang your resoplast and picked up your things to leave the classroom and headed towards the detention room.

You entered and sat at the end of the class, all this looking at your cell phone screen, texting your friend. That was until you heard someone crasping.

You looked up and saw him. You saw him.

“Miss, I think you know very well that mobile phones cannot be used on the school grounds," Colin said with his unmistakeable voice and a small smile on his lips.

Your eyes lit up and your lips curled upwards in a smile. "Professor Zabel, I didn't know it was you who was going to be here supervising"

He sighed and let out a small laugh. "Yes, luckily or unfortunately it's my turn to be here this week"

“That's great! I also have to be here all week," you said with a smile tilting your head.

“Oh, wow. How lucky I am" Colin said in a sarcastic tone making you laugh.

You two had always had that kind of relationship in which the teacher and the student got along well and had enough confidence to joke. But oh, how you wished that trust was more.

“Come on, don't be like that, you know I'm your favourite student” You said as you got up from your seat and walked to the front of the class, where Colin was.

He rolled his eyes at your humourous comment and positioned himself in front of you with his arms crossed over his chest. “More would you like to be my favourite student”

The room was flooded with a deep silence while you stared at each other. Professor Zabel's eyes continued to have that playful look while yours gradually transformed into a seductive look, and he did not take long to realise, taking another step towards you in response.

“And tell me, what have you done to be here punished for a week?” Colin asked intrigued.

“I skipped several math classes” You answered as if it were nothing, sitting on the table with a jump.

“Wow, I didn't have you as a rebel girl,” he said with a small laugh. His eyes flew to your thighs that, as you sat at the table, were even more uncovered by the rolling of your skirt upwards.

You shrugged carelessly letting out a small laugh. “It's not my fault that Professor Johnson is boring. Your classes are something entertaining to watch”

“Oh, yeah? Do you really think my classes are "something interesting to watch"?” Colin asked with a lower tone, getting even closer to you until you could feel his breath and breathing in your ear. “Or do you think I'm interesting to see?” He paused a little when he saw how you frowned. “Don't think I haven't noticed how you look at me, dear, I know perfectly what you really think about me”

You froze in your place, Professor Colin had caught you, but it's not that you were not very discreet either. "I don't know what you're talking about, Professor" You lied even looking him in the eyes.

“Don't play innocent, do you think I didn't realise the times you pretended not to understand something just so I could talk only to you?" He let out a small laugh when he saw how your cheeks turned red. "And well, I think there's no need to talk about that time you sat in the front row and opened your legs excessively so I could see your panties with an unusual wet patch"

You were embarrassed, yes, you had done those things but now that your teacher was saying it out loud you were embarrassed. But you still regained your composure and returned to your usual playful tone. "Yes, but you can't say that you don't like everything I do to get your attention"

He snorted and licked his lips and then brought his face closer to yours. "And what if I like it? What are you going to do now that we are alone?" He asked in a husky tone.

It didn't take you long to put your lips together with his in a thirsty kiss. Colin's hands went to your thighs to open them and be able to position himself between them.

The kiss intensified more and more. His big hand intertached with the locks of your hair, slightly stretching them causing a small gasp to escape from your lips. Colin did not miss the opportunity to put his tongue in your mouth and deepen the kiss.

“You don’t know how much i wanted to do this,” He whispered on your lips. "All those nights thinking about you, all those nights with my cock in my fist"

You couldn't help but moan at his speech and you grabbed him by the shoulders to separate him from your lips. "Let me make you feel good, Professor Colin" You said and got off the table to kneel in front of him and start unbuttoning his pants.

“Your craving it, eh?” He chucked and gathered your hair in a ponytail.

When you got unbuttoned his pants, you caressed the outline of his penis on his boxers. "So big..." You murmured, but he still heard it. Finally you took his member out of his underwear and began to massage it with both hands.

After a few seconds you began to put the head in your oral cavity, moving your tongue around it listening to how Colin began to growl slightly. Little by little you began to put more of his cock in your mouth until it finally made a stop with your throat.

You closed your eyes tightly trying to get used to the new sensation. But little by little you began to move your head from top to bottom while your tongue accompanied the movement.

The grip that your teacher had in your hair became tighter and he began to move his hips gently so it wasn't too much for you. He threw his head back and small grunts and gasps began to come out of his lips.

“Yeah, baby, just like that. Keep sucking my cock like a good girl” He moaned as the movement of his hips accelerated, starting to fuck your mouth even faster.

Your right hand began to caress the rest of his member that did not fit in your mouth, moving faster and faster. You moaned when you felt how Professor Zabel stretched your hair again, moving you away from his member completely.

“I want to cum on your angelic face, do you want that?" He asked to make sure you were ready and you nodded quickly.

He smiled sideways when he saw how desperate you were and grabbed his cock to start pumping it himself. His hand squeezed on his member as he moved it up and down and admired the state you were in.

Your hair was totally disheveled, your lips swollen and your eyes slightly crystalised.

You were a mess.

And Colin loved that.

To help him, you unbuttoned the first buttons of your blouse, showing the beginning of your breasts. And that was enough for Colin to finish.

You closed your eyes and long, thick ropes of semen went to your face, decorating it white.

You finally opened your eyes and saw Colin trying to catch his breath while biting his lower lip before the picture that was your face.

“Fuck, baby. You don’t know how good it was” He said starting to put his member in his pants again to then help you get on your feet.

“I'm glad you liked it" You winked playfully while fixing your blouse.

Colin searched his bag until he found a handkerchief and gently cleaned your face. "That's it, you're clean now" He said giving you a sweet smile while throwing the handkerchief to the classroom trash can.

“Thank you, Professor Zabel. For everything" You said suddenly becoming shy.

“Thanks to you, little lady. And don't worry, next time I'll return the favour" He winked at you, making you blush.

“Is there going to be a 'next time'?" You asked surprised but excited.

“Of course, honey, there will be more than one next time," Colin said with a small laugh. "Now, you can leave, I won't tell anyone that you left earlier" He finished his sentence with a small spanking to your ass, making you let out a small laugh.

You didn't hesitate to come back at the end of the class to pick up your backpack and your phone and head for the door.

“Goodbye, Professor Zabel. See you tomorrow in class" You said winking at him playfully to finally leave the classroom.

Without a doubt, it had been worth skipping math classes to get this punishment.

───────── ⋆⋅🕸️⋅⋆ ────────

mlist , bots

 c-cobweb 2024 — all rights reserved. do not modify, repost, translate, or plagiarise my content.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

What If

Bleeding in Moonlight: Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven |

CW: Traumatized whumpee, conditioned response to past dehumanization and abuse

Anaya's first coherent thought upon waking was that someone was breathing, warm and damp, against the back of her neck. Her second was that she was nearly hanging off the side of the bed, precariously balanced, pushed to the edge by an enormous weight behind her.

"Eden?" She mumbled. “Can you move?”

Rather than the good-natured grumbling she expected from her boyfriend, she heard a low, animal rumble like an earthquake moving from one body into another. A cold, wet nose touched the back of her neck.

Anaya’s eyes flew open.

Consciousness came back all at once.

She sat up in one fluid movement, turning to look behind her, just barely catching a sense of a huge mass reshaping, growing smaller. Fur became scarred skin, paws turned to palms and fingers at the end of long, awkward arms. It happened in an instant, in the time it took her to blink. The shift was done in less than the second it took to inhale a deep breath.

Her mind refused to accept what she saw or to hold on to what had happened. It simply wasn’t designed to experience something so deeply out of her understanding of the world. Instead, it focused entirely on the naked teenage boy now staring back at her, a boy with a perfectly normal human nose and a perfectly normal human body. 

He laid on his side on top of the rest of the covers between her and Eden - who was still asleep, one arm flung up above his head. Misae’s bare legs were bent at the knees, curled towards his stomach. His odd eyes were wide and ringed in white, and he cringed back away from her in a way that made her stomach flip in shame and guilt. He made a sound like a low whimper.

“I-I didn’t mean to fall back asleep,” He said, a whine edging his voice, looking away and then back at her, his stomach nearly pressed to the comforter with how low he was. 

The curtains still hung heavy over the windows, keeping the room dim, with only hints of yellow morning light lining the edges of the heavy cloth. 

“... Misae?” Anaya rubbed a hand over her eyes. “Why… why’d you get on the bed?”

He didn’t answer her, not at first. She felt the mattress shift beneath her and blinked her eyes open again, watching as the boy eased his way back off the bed and onto the air mattress on the floor. His shoulders stayed hunched up near his chin, his hair mussed up and half-shadowing his eyes. He curled up, knees to his chin, arms around them, looking down and away. 

On the other side of the bed, Eden mumbled something and shifted onto his side, facing away, pulling his blanket up until it covered his head entirely except for his hair. Anaya frowned, turning until she could put her feet on the floor. She arched her back, feeling her spine stretch and flex, the muscles protesting briefly as she pressed her hands to her lower back and exhaled. 

She must have been curled around the immensity of the adolescent wolf in the bed, unmoving. Her muscles were going to be mad at her all day about that, she could already tell. 

Then she looked back down at Misae, who still wasn’t looking at her. When she moved to stand, he flinched, hands covering his head. Anaya hitched in a breath, a chill running from her hair to her feet.

“I’m sorry,” Misae said, voice low and a little hoarse and raspy from sleep. He had curled himself up so tightly all she could see of him was arms and legs and the gray-tinged red of his hair. “I shouldn’t have. Please-... I didn’t mean to-... I couldn’t sleep-... alone, I’ve never slept alone b-before-”

“Oh, honey.” Anaya kept her voice low as she leaned over, holding out one hand. “Hey, you’re okay.”

“I’m sorry,” He repeated, whining again. He seemed to slip in and out of remembering human speech. His instincts, clearly, were canine. “I, I know, no dogs on human beds. I know, I know that, I was just alone and I couldn’t sleep after the moon was gone, I didn’t mean to fall asleep… I just wanted to not be alone-”

Anaya closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “You’re not a dog, Misae. Yeah? Come on, honey. Let’s get some pants on you and make some coffee, okay? You and me. Come on.” She pitched her voice soft and encouraging, and then inwardly winced. No matter what she said, she was talking to him like she might have a dog, wasn’t she?

She tried again, clearing her throat. This time, she kept her voice even and level. “I’ll get you some breakfast.” 

One of his odd amber eyes peered out from behind the dubious safety of those thin arms, and then slowly, so slowly, he unfolded. His stomach growled, nearly as loud as he had been in the bed just a few minutes ago. How long had he been hungry? Better yet, how could he possibly be hungry after all that damn pizza the night before?

Anaya tried to focus on that disbelief. It helped her to not think about the sight of Misae trembling, frightened… of her. 

Scared of having been caught out on the bed, terrified of whatever result he expected to come from that event. 

“I’m sorry,” he repeated, in a whisper that was barely audible, even when they were only a few inches apart. 

“Don’t be,” Anaya murmured back, scanning the room until she found Misae’s discarded sweatpants. She scooped them up and tossed them back to him, turning her back and waiting while he put them back on. Clearly, nudity was going to be an ongoing conversation they would have to keep having - he seemed completely unaware of it until it was pointed out to him. She had the distinct sense he would walk naked into traffic and never bat an eyelash, having no real understanding of the dangers of either.

Anaya padded out into the hall and headed for the kitchen, aware despite his silent steps that Misae had fallen in just behind her. He was still limping on his injured leg, but already he seemed steadier on his feet than he had yesterday.

As soon as the silver was out of his skin, he healed. Just like he’d said he would.

Anaya shoved the thought aside.

She wasn’t really surprised when he didn’t sit down after they entered the kitchen. Instead, he hovered next to her, just a little too close for comfort as she measured out the coffee, dumped spoonfuls into the filter, poured over the water, and listened to the hissing and bubbling as it began to brew.

Anaya closed her eyes, inhaling the warm air with its smell of the dark roast she’d just added in. Almost like chocolate, with a hint of the bitterness the coffee itself would have when it was done. 

Burbling, the dark liquid dripped, slowly filling the glass pot beneath. Anaya watched it for a while, but eventually she couldn’t stand the silence and Misae’s eyes locked on her any longer. “Well,” She said, finally. “What do you usually like to have for breakfast? Not like gas station or rest area food like yesterday, but real food.”

Misae blinked at her. “... They give us meat twice a day.”

“Meat?” Anaya blinked back. “Any particular kind of meat, or…”

“It’s ground up. They put vitamins in it.” Misae shifted to look out the window over the sink. The scars on his back and neck seemed darker, somehow, in the early morning light. Anaya found herself looking at the ancient welts that had faded nearly back to skin, layer upon layer getting darker until the freshest on top were still bright red and seemed too eager to bleed again. To scar like that… did it have to be silver? Did someone cut him, over and over again, with a silver knife? Had it been punishment, or some kind of test?

She blinked back into awareness and realized Misae was still talking. “-all kinds. Chicken, cow, pig. Whatever they have extra they didn’t need, they grind it and mix it together with some eggs and feed us.”

“Oh. Just cooked meat and eggs, no seasonings, huh?” Anaya shuddered at the idea. No wonder Misae had lost his mind over the pizza the night before.

“Meat and eggs and vitamins. Not cooked.”

Anaya’s stomach flipped and she had to stand very still, swallowing against the nausea. A lifetime spent eating mixed-up raw meat just to not starve. “Your meat’s never cooked?”

“No. Austin used to give us hamburgers when Bill was away, until he found out.” Misae apparently felt secure enough to put a little space between them, finally. He moved away and wandered off to the side, looking over a collection of framed prints on Vanessa’s wall. 

“There’s never enough for everyone,” He said, his eyes following the painted violet petals on a flower, lingering on the tiny green-skinned fairy painted hiding just behind its stem. The little fairy winked back at him with a winsome smile.

Anaya fought the urge to sigh. They were in so deep over their head with this. Werewolves were real, they had a teenage one traveling with them, some pretty bad people looking for him who had apparently beaten him and starved him and maybe done even worse than that. She and Eden were living primarily out of Eden’s car and a storage unit in Iowa. Neither of them was even remotely qualified to try and take care of a teenager, let alone a teenager who had… who had lived like that.

This could not possibly end well.

She busied herself cooking up some eggs, while Misae watched silently nearby. He never asked any questions, and when she asked if he wanted salt and pepper in his eggs, he only shrugged as if he had no idea what those things were.

Maybe he didn’t.

Once the eggs were done, though, he inhaled four of them in what felt like three seconds flat while Anaya stared over the mug of her milky-tan coffee, midway through taking a sip. 

She didn’t even think to tell him to use a fork - by the time she realized he was eating with his hands, hunched over the plate like-

Like an animal-

The eggs were already gone.

“Thank you,” Misae said softly. He smiled at her, shyly. He had a bit of egg at the corner of his mouth, and his tongue flicked out to lick it away. Anaya closed her eyes and fought the new rise of nausea all over again. His voice was so sweet, though. He was so happy. “I like eggs much better cooked. They're not slimy, like this.”

“... Glad to hear it.” Anaya barely tasted her coffee as she sipped it, beyond the general impression that it was nearly hot enough to burn her tongue. Her mind kept cycling and cycling through the same few thoughts, over and over again.

Werewolves were real. That was a hard one to shake.

Werewolves were real, and she had one sitting in this kitchen across from her, eating eggs like they were the greatest food ever made. Werewolves were real. Which meant… other ones had to exist out there somewhere, right? There was no way all the werewolves had been in one place. There were others out in the world, maybe not even that far away, who would know what to do to help Misae.

Maybe there was a whole thriving town of them out there, who would be able to teach Misae about how to be human and how to be a wolf. Schools with other werewolves learning reading and writing and how to howl at the moon. Jobs that understood if you couldn’t work night shift three days a month. Absolutely nothing made out of silver.

People who could keep him safe.

Anaya and Eden could find one of those places, find those werewolf people, and… maybe…

Maybe they could find Misae a home.

Assuming, of course, anyone they could find would take him.

What would they do if nobody else would?

-

@finder-of-rings  @burtlederp @deluxewhump @scoundrelwithboba @shrimpwritings 

@yassifiedinformation @wildfaewhump @whatwhump @honeycollectswhump @tundra-tiger

@dont-look-me-in-the-eye @there-will-always-be-blood @fangedcinnamonroll @pigeonwhumps @yassifiedinformation

[insidekatmind]

Secret love~Pope Heyward

It was a humid afternoon on the beach, the air heavy with the salty scent of the sea and the sun baking the dunes. Sitting on the shiny hood of your SUV, you watched the Pogues playing frisbee farther ahead, JJ’s laughter echoing through the air. But your eyes were fixed on him: Pope Heyward. Despite the differences, despite the fact that you were a Kook and he was a Pogue, something about him had always drawn you in. His intelligence, his calm but determined spirit. And now, after months of secret meetings, the bond between you two had grown into something deeper than you’d ever imagined.

---

“Pope, we have to be careful,” you’d whispered the night before, while the two of you hid in the old warehouse behind the Twinkie. There, far from prying eyes of friends and family, you had found a little refuge.

“Careful about what?” he had replied, his hands clutching yours. “That someone will find out we’re happy? That I, a Pogue, dared to love a Kook?”

His eyes were filled with emotion, a mix of frustration and yearning for freedom. But you knew how risky it was. Being discovered would mean scandal for you and perhaps worse for him.

“It’s not that simple,” you’d said, taking a shaky breath. “You don’t understand how my world works. Appearances are everything. And you… we… we can’t be found out, Pope.”

“Oh, I understand perfectly,” he’d said, with an intensity that made you hold your breath. “But you know what? I’m tired of pretending. I’m tired of acting like it doesn’t mean anything when you’re next to me. I can’t keep hiding as if I’m the one doing something wrong. This is love, not a crime.”

---

The next day, while the other Pogues enjoyed the sun, Pope approached your car quietly. You only noticed him when he knocked lightly on the window.

“We need to talk,” he said, his voice serious.

You knew it wasn’t the right place, but something in his eyes made you nod. You moved to the passenger seat, letting him climb in.

“Are you crazy? What happens if someone sees you here?” you hissed, but he didn’t seem worried at all.

“I don’t care anymore,” he said with disarming sincerity. “I don’t care if JJ or Kie or your family finds out about us. I don’t want our relationship to be a secret. Why should we be ashamed of something so beautiful?”

“Because the world isn’t that simple, Pope,” you replied, your voice trembling. “You live in a world where you’re free to be who you want. I… I’m a prisoner to other people’s expectations.”

“You’re not a prisoner to anything,” he shot back, taking your hand. “You decide who you want to be. And if you can’t break free from these chains, then tell me, is this even worth it? Is it worth hiding, lying, when we could just be happy together, out in the open?”

You felt breathless because a part of you knew he was right. But another part of you was still terrified. That fear kept you awake at night, and now it was keeping you tethered to your world of appearances. You didn’t answer right away. You looked out the window, toward the ocean, as the internal struggle consumed you.

“Pope…” you started, but he interrupted you.

“You’re everything I want,” he said, his voice cracking with emotion. “But I can’t keep living like I’m stealing something that doesn’t belong to me. Tell me what you really want. Tell me this isn’t just a dream, and I’ll fight anyone for us.”

---

You turned toward the beach, watching the waves crash against the shore. The weight of his words pressed heavily on your heart. You knew Pope was right. You knew that hiding wasn’t fair, that what you felt for each other deserved to be lived in the open. But there was a part of you, the part raised among the rules and expectations of the Kooks, that still resisted.

Yet, at that moment, as you watched him walk away, something inside you changed. You couldn’t let him go. You couldn’t let your love for him be suffocated by fear. You shot to your feet, stepping out of the car and running toward him.

“Pope!” you called out, your voice trembling but resolute. He stopped, turning back with a surprised, almost disbelieving expression. When you reached him, you halted a step away, your breathing uneven.

“I don’t want to lose you,” you said, your voice breaking with emotion. “You’re right. There’s no point in hiding. There’s no point in being afraid. I love you, Pope. And I’m ready to fight for us.”

He stayed silent for a moment, as if trying to process whether you were really saying those words. Then, an incredible smile spread across his face, and his eyes lit up with a happiness you’d never seen before.

“Do you really mean that?” he asked, a trace of hope in his voice.

You didn’t answer with words. You stepped closer and kissed him, oblivious to the world around you. It was a kiss full of emotion, of liberation, as if in that moment, you’d found the courage you’d been missing. You felt his hands wrap around you, his warmth enveloping you. In that moment, nothing else mattered. Not the Kooks, not the Pogues, not the rules. Just the two of you.

When you pulled away, Pope looked at you with eyes full of emotion. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this moment,” he said softly, brushing your cheek. “I don’t care what anyone else says. As long as I have you, I can face anything.”

You laughed, a spontaneous and light sound, realizing how silly it had been to be afraid for so long. “Then we’ll face it all together,” you replied. “I’m done hiding.”

As you walked back to the beach, hand in hand, the Pogues looked up at you, clearly surprised. JJ let out a theatrical whistle, and Kie’s eyes widened, but no one said anything. You knew there would be difficult moments ahead, but in that instant, with Pope by your side, you felt invincible.

The choice had been made, and for the first time, you felt truly alive.

[chasedeys]

https://www.tumblr.com/chasedeys/768170997377597440/httpswwwtumblrcomchasedeys768169507136159744

Oh 100 % I agree that they had a talk afterwards. Both of them have emphasized communication throughout the 6 years they have been “together 😭💀,” so no way they didn’t have a heart to heart they never get like that with each other

they couldn't have not have the talk lbr like that fight was kind of crazy had people talking about bengals downfall burrow-chase connection fallout etc they got to have a heart-to-heart 😭 though i guess it wasn't really actually a fight?? ja'marr just got so fucking angry and joe had to cool him down and the way to cool him down quick was to yk shove at him and yell at him right back ig though 100% nobody else but joe would've away with it on that field lol

i've talked about it a bit here in the end!!

also after that infamous kc game shove, i definitely think they had a very tough heart to heart where ja'marr maybe spills his full feelings over the contract and how he hasn’t been getting the ball to actually make big plays and how his worth as a wr1 is being brought to question and joe probably spills on his own feelings on how ja'marr held out so long and had last minute (?) changes of playing that week one ramps up joe's own anxiety and hang ups like i definitely feel like he had some unchecked anxiety over playing with his wrist that first game that ja'marr probably said something incredibly insane yet uplifting about in response. the next game its like they mended some unseen frayed stitch of their connection! first drive banger of a 41 yarder td for jamarr, two tuddys for the game in fact lol!! joe gets him his deep ball, then the insane way joe rushed at him after his 63 yarder in the next game, its like that first touchdown against minnesota again. i just wish the very best for them, to keep making these insane passes and insane runs they’ve been making since lsu.

that's pretty much it lmao but there's some more word vomit below that might a bit much tbh:

okay like i was new at this during the first few weeks okay I've not been here for their lsu to bengals run and my understanding of their burrow-chase throw-catch connection by which i mean like actual football playing qb-wr gameplay was still being learned!! i absolute did not know any rules of the game that first week i watched 😭 didn't even know how you got 7pts out a touchdown etc etc sorry i really was just there for the pretty men who had their faces covered by helmets 90% of the time lmao and from what i saw it was kind of meh you know???

like I've watched their highlights before don't get me wrong i know they got it. the touchdowns??? the way joe throws and ja'marr runs??? crazyyyyyy how the fuck does joe know exactly where ja'marr was going to run, how the fuck did ja'marr know exactly how far joe was going to throw, and like this could absolutely be attributed to the way they plan things with coaches and play calling etc but!! doesn't change the fact that in the end it just takes two people to do that shit and they've understood each other so well to have done it near perfectly!! like it made me understand why there's so much poetry and romance in sports!!! the trust the connection the whatever i can't find words the point is i didn't really like......see that in the first two games??? like there was some kind of disconnect yk and like idk they played like shit 😭 but keep in mind i was completely unknowledgeable of football like at all and i refuse to rewatch those games so maybe i was just stupid and didn't see it lmao

BUT THEN???? the week 3 game?????? ja'marr's first touchdown of the season???????? THAT was the shit i was waiting for like iirc ja'marr and tee were running their way down by the sidelines getting double teamed (?) each idk ja'marr was definitely double teamed had me doubting they'd make it but joe threw an absolutely beautiful ball at him and ja'marr caught that shit over his shoulder!?!?!?!??! brought it right home too!!!!!!! i was so gassedddddd i was exhilarated like completely 100% fell in love with the sport that was amazing that was literally my first live burrow-chase touchdown!!!!!!

(another fucking list sorry) me being the Master Speculator of Shit that i am made my own stupid ass narratives about how:

they were unsure of their game and each other's lmao hear me out. joe's first game back after the devastating wrist injury that was hell to get back into form to, had to deal with all the noise about him never going to be able to throw the way he used to again and knew just how many fucking eyes would be on him that first game back watching his wrist like bloodthirsty hawks. even if i believe that he's the type of person who can completely block out that noise without flinching, some subconscious and fearful part of him had to have been holding him back. the numerous, numerous, painful clips of him twisting his wrists repeatedly, fidgeting harder than he's ever fidgeted before, the water bottle stupidity that he actually got asked about, etc (god i can't imagine being a celebrity having your anxious shit caught on camera and analyzed so loudly over the internet). and then you add in how ja'marr's been in a contract holdout and clearly bothered as all hell about it because it's just not getting done at all even d-1 of their opening week!! insane. there were questions of ja'marr even playing game 1 and joe of course said unflinchingly that ja'marr would be ready week 1 regardless but completely understandable if he's rattled okay!! if ja'marr wasn't really planning on playing (wasn't he listed as questionable due to illness idk i forgot) suddenly switching up however many hours before to actually playing that's gotta fuck up joe's steady structure that he already prepared beforehand of not playing with ja'marr you know??? like basically a) anxiety over his wrist, b) ja'marr's sudden status as active messing up his pregame, and c) everybody and their grandmothers all up in his business for his first game back.

ja'marr's contract situation. people absolutely saying the foulest shit about his decision to hold out, the amount of money he asked, saying to boot him out, calling him a diva /derogatory, comparing him to justin, tee's contract situation, etc. the fo being the one to open convo about his extension only to not be open to his numbers??? sensible numbers if you think abt it btw and now well lmao good luck fo his agent must be smug as all hell. it maybe planted seeds of doubt and insecurity in him on his worth as WR1 you know?? like why are they acting like he isn't worth all that fucking money. incredibly emotional highly intelligent sensitive pisces that he is gets understandably more and more pissed off and defensive about literally everything but he fucking loves this sport and he loves his guys so he decides to play the game 1 anyway and. well. just. sigh.

the game went to shit and ja'marr played idk better than the rest of the receivers but in all honesty everyone was kind of shit?? and like. they lost to the patriots. who literally got beaten belt to ass by the dolphins last week. but anyways game 2 against ja'marr's most Hated capital h and everything fucking chiefs 😭 yeah with the whole contract situation still up in the air there was no way he wasn't going to have some sort of meltdown tbh. hence the fight....where joe got physical with him.....where his actions definitely contributed heavily to their loss which should have been a win.

and so: the talk. like i said they both talked about their anxieties no holds barred literally all the shit i wrote above and apologized to each other the way men usually do idk bro hugged it out maybe. i genuinely think ja'marr went off on joe on not getting the ball more like????? i can't explain it damn it he definitely chewed him out on it and joe was like 'fuck okay'. ja'marr says he never notices shit about how joe throws the ball so maybe he doesn't notice anything about joe's wrist acting up. but maybe he notices that joe's holding back or there's some sort of hang up over the way he plays and needles it out of him point-blank like the person that he is and joe finally talks about it and ja'marr responds by being 100% insane like he usually does and that sort of devotion and sheer stubbornness on one's belief in who you are has to have some kind of impact on joe damn. they probably got some professional therapy too btw at least i hope so :'). but basically ja'marr just wants the ball more and joe gets him the fucking ball.

ja'marr said something along the lines of him finding joy playing again 😔🤚 this was such a comment like god he hasn't been playing happy at all and when he put to rest the contract shit he finally gets to play a sport he loves with joy!!! him being happy is so fucking important to me wow 😭 i think I've said this before in some post idk but he knows he messed up, he knows the contract negotiation fucked up his emotions so bad he brings it on the field so he nips that shit quick and done. no more contract talks until the next offseason. probably made it clear to joe though that he will not leave but fuck if he's listening to any bullshit from the fo when he's got a game to win and a super bowl to get to and idk about you but that probably healed something in joe like there is the guy who gets him. who's as hungry as he is for a win, for a ring, for a championship. who's got his back, who he can trust to be there on the other end of the field to catch his throws.

the next game!!!!!!!!! god i really am not the person to talk about routes or strategy or whatever but i know for damn sure that that was a beautiful throw and that was a beautiful catch and that was a one-of-a-kind connection. like they fixed something that was unknowingly dented in their connection and like they're finally trusting themselves and each other again to make the big plays they've done before the injury and the contract drama you know????? aurrugrgrhrh i can't word anything out i feel like saying more about this but i cant please get me anyway 😭

this entire emotional roller coaster thing was also the main reason they had those kind of helmet bonks on the next 63 yard td and 70 yard td btw. been a long while since they've had those kind of plays, probably had some unnamed unknowing unacknowledged doubts that they would ever have it again, so it was like the first time all over again lol. (was one of the things joe said to him in that little bubble of their celly after the ravens 70 yarder something like 'see i knew we still got it. i knew you still got it.' god i feel insane)

ok bye......

[adhd-fandom-hyperfocus]

✧₊⁺ Bath ✧₊⁺

Pairing: None

Author's Note: Raserei is my oc, who is the lost primarch of the 2nd Legion.

Warnings: slightly nsfw because it's taking place in a bath house. Nothing happens though, Much to the despair of some serfs.

18+ ONLY

★。------ ＼｜／------。★

If he were not aware he was on a ship, Raserei could be convinced he had stepped into one of the great bathhouses on Macragge. The fake sunlight shone perfectly through the fake glass ceiling, casting a beautiful ray of light onto the crystal-clear water below. Giving a glorious view of the blue marble of the bath floor, accented with regal gold veins. Steam rising from the water, and clinging to the marble pillars offering the same vibrant blue. Drapes that bore the Ultramarine symbol with pride were hung about the room, as well as chairs of leisure for Astartes to take their required rest.

The walls were covered in stunning art that heralded the beauty of Macragge, and fountains were covered with plants as water flowed from them, a calming sound. His nose filled with the alluring scents of oils in the waters. While Raserei would not accuse Guilliman of opulence, the man was not Spartan with his tastes, at least within reason. Something Raserei secretly admired. His brother understood the line between beauty and pure grandiosity.

Slowly the primarch of the second removed his robe, letting it fall to the marble floor and let his body sink into the warm water. While communal baths were not foreign to him, he did value his privacy. Now more than ever. A ghost in a world he didn't understand. A pariah among his brothers. His large frame sank further down and he rested his arms on the sides of the bath, letting his head tilt back. Throne he needed this, this moment of peace...

Oh but what was that movement? They locked gazes ever so briefly before she ducked back behind the pillar, and muffled giggles could be heard. So that's where the bath attendants were. It would seem he had an audience after all. Strange, he was under the impression he scared baseline humans. He unsettled most Astartes.

Nonetheless, if they were watching might as well give them something for their bravery. He started humming idly, slowly giving way to words. His deep voice carried and filled the bathhouse, the high ceiling allowing such a deep rolling voice to vibrate in the chests of his onlookers. How easy his voice carried when he wasn't even trying. Truly his voice could be a weapon if he wished it to be.

"Feed my fire, let me put some ash on your face. Feed my fire..." he sang softly.

Now listening to the pounding heartbeats behind him, thinking they are safe behind the pillar. It was cute; he thought they would know that such things would not be lost on someone like him, but Raserei guessed ignorance was bliss.

But his performance was cut short when a group of rowdy Ultramarines only in their undercloths, came stumbling in, calling for the serfs to get them some robes for when they get out of the bath.

Raserei rose from the bath and only used his robe to cover his lower half. As he walked by the marines and past the pillar where his hidden admirers were he waved at them. Their cheeks all rosy and their pupils blown out.

"Try not to drown them ladies." he joked as he left the area.

One of the serfs cast a glare at the Ultramarines that would give a Khorne daemon pause.

"Did you see him get in sisters?" one whispered eyes still lingering at the exit.

"I did," one replied holding her hands up as if they were cupping something large, "Never have I seen moons so round."

They all nodded in silence, mourning the loss of such a sight to some loud and boorish marines.

"They do not make them like they used too."

[otterlyart]

Brained and Brawn for @xombigirl

[moldy-flowers]

The interesting experience of being pro Sasuke, anti konoha, pro tobirama, anti Naruto ending, pro Sasusaku, anti Itachi, pro Sakura, anti SasuNaru, pro Tobirama×Izuna, anti Madara, pro karin, anti Orochimaru, pro Uchiha and anti Hashirama. And also as much as I hate the guy danzo was kind of hot when he was younger...

[vally-vall-vall]

Hello, Forgive me for spamming your blog. I saw your pfp was tfp megatron and then realized your blog was as high quality as the pfp. 👌

My ask is whats your fave transformer and from what universe?

Ah, no worries! I'm glad to hear my blog is filled with scrumptious content! About who is my favourite tansformer. Well, it would be easier to answer who isn't my favourite ifbvkdjfv

I'm a TFP girlie through and through. Prime has been my comfort show since like 2011 and I continue to rewatch it year after year even now. I have indulged in other Transformers media, too, most notably the Bay movies, War for Cybertron, Robots in Disguise and the OG series, tho nothing would come even close to my love for TFP. I truly do think this is the best Transformers incarnation in franchise ever created.

About the fav character (aside from the obvious picks like Optimus and Megatron), this is mega hard for me because all of them are so good dfhvbihvfb. I think I could narrow it down to a few, neither is placed higher or lower than the other because I love them all for different reasons.

Ratchet. Absolutely love this grumpy old fart. He's what started my love for the "grumpy character who pretends they don't care but actually care A LOT" character archetype. He's everything I love and nothing I don't, plus I do think that Jeffrey Combs was made to be his VA in a similar way Robert Downey jr. was born to play Iron Man

Starscream. I will be honest, it actually took me some time before I started to like his character instead of just seeing him as an annoying bootlicker. I mean, he's still an annoying bootlicker, but I came to enjoy him! OG Starscream walked so TFP Starscream could run. He's all of his old traits but amplified and made better. His scheeming, cunning nature, inability to shut up to the point the show itself calls him out for it (Operation Bumblebee) but at the same time, he's a pathetic coward. A wet cat of a man, soggy af. I do think if the show came out in recent years that tumblr would have a field day with him. 10/10 I miss Starscreams like him

Smokescreen. This may or may not be a hot take because he's apparently pretty unpopular with the fandom?? At least he was in like 2012-2015 when I was most active in the fandom. I actually really do enjoy his recklessness and immaturity, it makes him feel more like a youngster that's yet to see the horrors of war. I love how quickly he grows throughout the episodes when he comes to realise their fight isn't about personal glory, it's about survival and about doing what is right. 9/10 because I hate the updated painjob he got in season 3

Miko. Also kind of a hot take, since she seems to be the least favourite among the kid trio. I gotta be honest, TFP is the only Transformers incarnation where I actually like the human companions, and Miko I love the most. She's reckless and bold and immature, like any "punk" teenager of her age would be, and I also absolutely adore the bond she has with Bulkhead.

KnockOut. My first ever experience with a character that was so violently queer-coded it rearanged by neural pathways. Loved him since his very first scene. The sass, the execution, his mad doctor persona, obsession with looks, surprisingly scheeming nature, he's just so full of personality. I also love how he's actually canonically married to BreakDown. My only gripe with the character is that I wished he was depicted to mourn BreakDown more instead of, like, just mentioning he's annoyed that he now has nobody to buff him. But also this was a pre-Steven Universe show back when queer characters weren't as prominent in kids media, so I get why it wasn't implimented. I'm still salty about it though

Arcee. Arcee I had to grow to love, and it didn't happen until several years after the show has ended. At the start, I found her to be a deeply unenjoyable character, grumpy and cold and dismissive towards everyone (and especially Jack) and not in the fun way Ratchet was. However, as I aged, I came to realise that she's not just being an asshole, she's grieving. This is one of the key reasons why I love TFP. It tackles serious topics like death and grief very well for an animated kids show that was mostly made to promote a toy brand, and Arcee's character really shines here. I deeply enjoy seeing her come out of her shell after Cliffjumper's death and slowly form a deep loving bond not only with Jack, but with everyone else too. Also how she helps Miko out with her own grief after Bulkhead gets seriously injured. You know what that is? Growth. Nothing but growth and healing for my sassy two-wheeler.

"Funny. At first I never thought I'd get used to Cliff's constant chatter. But now? Now there's nothing louder to me than the silence."

Bro, this sentence is burned into my memory. Forever. It altered my brain chemisty, I swear. Arcee and her grief over Cliff and Tailgate are so well portrayed and it makes one of the best written characters on the show and I will die on this hill!!

[aroanthy]

being gay and aromantic is wild because people will accuse you of hating gay people because you (checks notes) wish people would be a little more critical of romance as a patriarchal structure. the thing is that rgu literally does this, it examines and interrogates how romance is a patriarchal structure. every time i talk about aromanticism in rgu people get very upset about that, as though aromanticism impedes queerness— i did not realise we were still doing exclusionism so bare faced. every time i talk about aromanticism, people get upset. im not even talking about it in relation to the show, instead making a general throwaway post about the weight that people afford anything that deals in Romance, and i get told that rgu is a romance and i should cry about it. like. what? rgu made me realise i was aromantic. i was already gay and that gave me the final piece of the puzzle.

to be gay and aromantic does not mean you Just Have Friends (? what does this even mean, let’s unpack this statement at a later date): to be gay and aromantic means myriad things for myriad people. it means queer sex, it means queer connections that aren’t defined as ‘romantic’, it means queer attraction, it means queer understanding. nothing about this devalues romantic queerness, though i must say that every time i post about aromanticism someone has to qualify my words with a statement about how romance is cool too. and sure, it is, but you can maybe understand how that’s exhausting when you actually want a meaningful conversation about your identity. anyway aromantic people i love you aromantic people and gay people i love you gay people (i am both. godbless goodnight)

[neptunesenceladus]

the marvels is officially the only movie ever. the director knew what they were doing with it and also every designer that worked on it deserves a kiss and a pay rise

[alxclaremont]

there are two wolves inside of you: one feels impending doom at the thought of tomorrow’s race. the other feels immensely hopeful that oscar will get his first win tomorrow or at the very least a mclaren 1-2. you are a formula one fan.

[kokoinupi]

i watched the 2007 rgg movie tonight just to see what its like and i have a lot to say about it but for now i just doodled my favorite scene bc i could not handle it