#And the worst thing for me is that I don't see anyone talking about it and being like
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Ok weird it wasn't letting me reblog this properly. Anways hiiiii
I did read it (over a year ago when i reblogged this) and that isn't what I said, or my criticism of his point and, overall, the neo-liberal ancient-contemporary comparative perspective that Devereaux is routinely writing these articles in. It would be silly to be fully Pro-Rome, sure, but I'm not really accusing him of that persay. I do still think his general perspective is a silly and factually inaccurate one and disagree with it, so I therefor disagree with the arguments he makes starting from this perspective. In particular, I think that no matter how much he claims to actively be against it, Devereaux and the many historians that follow his same playbook end up: 1. romanticizing (I previously said "admiring," which may have been where we got mixed up) Rome by claiming it was a ghastly horrific slave state (true) while also being unable to help from looking to "the good parts" with a kind of breathless nostalgia, and here, overtly for guidance. This is of course a pretty common issue for classicists, unfortunately, including professors of mine that I've generally really respected. Usually the "good parts" = freedom of religion in occupied territories, civil rights afforded to slaves (+the way that pre-Race slavery functioned differently in general), and exactly what Devereaux says in the title of the article, i.e. their "Notion of authority" being likened, often, to a gentle but firm father figure who knows whats best for his children. It is absolutely hilarious to me how often historians, even ones that claim to have left-wing values, can believe in the noble pater familias rule of the romans with a smile and a tear in their eye. Does anyone else here remember 'the white man's burden'? Did anyone see that weird tucker carlson speech where he talks about daddy coming to spank the disobedient little girl that (assumably?) was supposed to be the Biden government? Anyways. Writers try to isolate only that there was religious self determination (in occupied territories of an expansionist empire), that they Ruled the horrible violent imperial war machine Fairly, and then don't even hide the fumble when they get to the slavery part, proudly saying YEAH, they were ENSLAVED, sure, and that's BAD, BUT........ This all ties into issue two, or the underlying issue:
2. Devereaux is a liberal American historian that is either unable to appreciate the full context of the country he lives in OR is actively obfuscating it AND/OR accepts it and thinks its just peachy outside of a few stubborn issues like police brutality and the like which he thinks can be handled in a vacuum by throwing enough good old fashioned liberal values at them. He fails to view issues from a systemic lens and therefor thinks anything he doesn't like is a weird flaw coming from some outside source. In that article (and I can't find this specific article again on Foreign Policy to pull examples from, I'm sorry) he was trying to 'learn from rome' for the sake of America. Even if he's saying Rome was a heavily flawed society, he is saying our empire can still learn a good thing from their empire. I disagree with that. I disagree with the empires staying empires in the first place, or that empires are things worth saving, or that they're even possible to save. My argument is also that we should actually definitely not look to Ancient Rome for advice on law enforcement, or indeed any of our policies point blank period. I personally think this kind of Rome-USA compare and contrast exercise is always fnny because the writer also never seems to reckon with how much we already, fundamentally, ARE Rome-- in all the worst ways, and in the ways he's claiming we can 'learn' from them. We already have. We've been romanticizing and following in their footsteps very intentionally the whole time, just as others were inspired to follow in ours in a horrific timeline of gore and human atrocities. Devereaux, per his website, is really into classical liberalism, liberal democracies, private property, free-market capitalism, and John Locke. (https://acoup.blog/2024/07/05/collections-the-philosophy-of-liberty-on-liberalism/). We simply have really different perspectives on politics that also inform how we view and would choose to write about things as historians.
I think this quote from that blog post on liberalism is especially funny in context: "And of course Cicero himself never fully absorbs the implications of his philosophy: a wealthy Roman slave-holder, it never occurs to Cicero that perhaps he daily violates the natural law by keeping people in bondage." Devereaux himself never fully absorbs the implications of his philosophy: a white well-to-do professor in an elite seat within American Academia, it never occurs to Devereaux that perhaps he daily violates the individual freedoms of liberalism by rationalizing and hiding away the dark parts of a fundamentally unjust empire relying on the slave labor of prisoners, the indentured servitude of sweatshop workers worldwide, the slaughter and subjugation of millions of in the global south and the underclasses within the empire itself, and the theft and hoarding of the world's resources. But okay. Cicero bad, John Locke good. Got it. My argument would of course be that they are both bad, both equally ignoring the reality of the society they lived in and their places within it. Devereaux is starting his argument from an already catastrophically flawed point of view that forces him to look past things like 'context' whenever it becomes inconvenient. He has to say in the post multiple times that like yeah, sure, Locke's view of who counted as a "person" worthy of having things like "rights" was, um...narrower than ours today, but he was still correct because I like him (and it's totally different from how other people cited, like Cicero, were incorrect hypocrites). Ignore the slavery and colonialism, same old same old, it is still correct and not at all laughable to claim that the United States was a nation formed on a defining principle of inalienable freedoms for every single person. He mentions that those things were obviously bad but doesn't see them as truly conflicting, more as growing pains. He even says the founding father's misogyny and racism (towards the enslaved specifically: indigenous people, and therefore the ACTUAL founding principles of the US colonial empire, go completely unmentioned) "[...] represented betrayals of the principles that otherwise document: the crime was common, the hypocrisy was special." American exceptionalism who? Obviously if he was saying we should instate a more 1:1 ancient roman government that would also be ridiculous. But my point is that he's asking the wrong questions about the society we have and what's wrong with it in the first place. He is often wrong about Rome and near-universally wrong about America.
Despite Spartaâs reputation for superior fighting, Spartan armies were as likely to lose battles as to win them, especially against peer opponents such as other Greek city-states. Sparta defeated Athens in the Peloponnesian Warâbut only by accepting Persian money to do it, reopening the door to Persian influence in the Aegean, which Greek victories at Plataea and Salamis nearly a century early had closed. Famous Spartan victories at Plataea and Mantinea were matched by consequential defeats at Pylos, Arginusae, and ultimately Leuctra. That last defeat at Leuctra, delivered by Thebes a mere 33 years after Spartaâs triumph over Athens, broke the back of Spartan power permanently, reducing Sparta to the status of a second-class power from which it never recovered. Sparta was one of the largest Greek city-states in the classical period, yet it struggled to achieve meaningful political objectives; the result of Spartan arms abroad was mostly failure. Sparta was particularly poor at logistics; while Athens could maintain armies across the Eastern Mediterranean, Sparta repeatedly struggled to keep an army in the field even within Greece. Indeed, Sparta spent the entirety of the initial phase of the Peloponnesian War, the Archidamian War (431-421 B.C.), failing to solve the basic logistical problem of operating long term in Attica, less than 150 miles overland from Sparta and just a few days on foot from the nearest friendly major port and market, Corinth. The Spartans were at best tactically and strategically uncreative. Tactically, Sparta employed the phalanx, a close-order shield and spear formation. But while elements of the hoplite phalanx are often presented in popular culture as uniquely Spartan, the formation and its equipment were common among the Greeks from at least the early fifth century, if not earlier. And beyond the phalanx, the Spartans were not innovators, slow to experiment with new tactics, combined arms, and naval operations. Instead, Spartan leaders consistently tried to solve their military problems with pitched hoplite battles. Spartan efforts to compel friendship by hoplite battle were particularly unsuccessful, as with the failed Spartan efforts to compel Corinth to rejoin the Spartan-led Peloponnesian League by force during the Corinthian War. Spartaâs military mediocrity seems inexplicable given the city-stateâs popular reputation as a highly militarized society, but modern scholarship has shown that this, too, is mostly a mirage. The agoge, Spartaâs rearing system for citizen boys, frequently represented in popular culture as akin to an intense military bootcamp, in fact included no arms training or military drills and was primarily designed to instill obedience and conformity rather than skill at arms or tactics. In order to instill that obedience, the older boys were encouraged to police the younger boys with violence, with the result that even in adulthood Spartan citizens were liable to settle disputes with their fists, a tendency that predictably made them poor diplomats. But while Spartaâs military performance was merely mediocre, no better or worse than its Greek neighbors, Spartan politics makes it an exceptionally bad example for citizens or soldiers in a modern free society. Modern scholars continue to debate the degree to which ancient Sparta exercised a unique tyranny of the state over the lives of individual Spartan citizens. However, the Spartan citizenry represented only a tiny minority of people in Sparta, likely never more than 15 percent, including women of citizen status (who could not vote or hold office). Instead, the vast majority of people in Sparta, between 65 and 85 percent, were enslaved helots. (The remainder of the population was confined to Spartaâs bewildering array of noncitizen underclasses.) The figure is staggering, far higher than any other ancient Mediterranean state or, for instance, the antebellum American South, rightly termed a slave society with a third of its people enslaved.
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Something Stupid â Kim Taehyung One-Shot
navi ,, m.list ,,
warnings: ANGST. unspoken love, one-sided love, co-workers, Taehyung's POV, tae doesn't speak much, he's just a little sad guy. lowercase intended.
wc: 3.6k
pairing (well not really): quiet taehyung x fem!reader
a/n: apology one-shot for discontinuing the art of love đ (worst kind of apology ik but idc huhu suffer w me <3) i teared up writing this. don't let this flop i swear đ«”đŒ
November 21
a year ago.
it was the day i met you.
it was your first day at work. you were glowing, so full of excitement, and so happy to be starting your dream job. i could tell from the way your eyes lit up that you were ready for this, ready for everything.
i remember how i welcomed you, and you looked at me, and you smiled.
âthank you! iâm ___, nice to meet you.â
there was something in the way you smiled that made my heart skip. it was simple, but it made me freeze for a moment. i couldnât help but stutter.
âi-i⊠iâm kim taehyung, nice to meet you tooâŠâ
you nodded, still wearing that bright smile, and then turned to greet the others. and i just stood there, watching you.
i didnât realize it at the time, but i couldnât stop stealing glances at you. the way you came in every morning, the way you greeted everyone with a bright âgood morning!â and how you always wished everyone to have a great day, no matter what.
even though we barely talked, even though you never really spoke to me much, it still made my day. just seeing you, hearing your voice, feeling the warmth you radiated. it was genuine, simple, but it made everything feel a little better, a little easier to bear.
November 28
you baked cookies, and handed out small bags, each tied with a neat bow. you didnât miss anyone in the office, not even me. you made sure to thank everyone for making you feel so welcome.
everyone was happy to receive them, and so was i. but i overheard a few people talking behind your back, saying you were trying too hard, that it was all a little much.
but when i looked at you, all i could see was that you just wanted to fit in, wanted to make everyone around you feel comfortable. i saw it in the way your eyes shined, even though they were tired, like you were trying to prove something.
your dark circles told me you probably stayed up all night baking those cookies. i wanted to tell you how much i appreciated it, how i felt like you didnât need to push yourself so hard. you were perfect just the way you were.
âi hope you like them, mr. kim! let me know if you prefer chocolate cookies, i have those too!â
but i couldnât bring myself to say it.
âthese are fineâŠâ
December 10
the office holiday party was approaching, and the excitement was tangible. decorations were put up, and the air smelled sweet. everyone was talking about their plans, about what they were wearing, about who was bringing what dish.
and there you were, always the one to make sure everything was perfect, organizing the little details, ensuring no one felt left out. you were always so kind, always so giving.
i watched you from across the room, helping the others with the setup, your smile lighting up the entire space. you seemed so at ease, so comfortable in your role, but i could still see the exhaustion hidden behind your cheerful demeanor. the way your shoulders dropped slightly when you thought no one was looking, the way your eyes would gloss over for a second before youâd catch yourself and smile again.
i wanted to say something to you, tell you how much i admired your strength, how much i wished youâd let yourself rest, how iâd do anything to make things easier for you.
but i never did.
instead, i just kept watching, my words trapped in my chest, my heart pounding every time you passed by, hoping maybe, just maybe, youâd catch a glimpse of the way i looked at you.
"mr.kim, can you pass me the tape?"
âyes,â
December 25
i was walking to a store. christmas had never been anything special for me, but today felt different. i wanted to get you something, something to show you that you matter to me. that youâre someone special.
i found a little keychain; red flowers. when i first saw it, it reminded me of you. so bright and beautiful. i thought, âmaybe youâd like this.â
as i walked out of the store, the cold air hit me. it was christmas, so the streets were packed with people rushing around. but i wasnât in any hurry. i just wanted to buy you something, to let you know how much i appreciated everything about you.
then, i saw you.
a figure i recognized, standing by the candy store, looking at candy canes. the world seemed to slow as i watched you. you were wearing a soft, fluffy coat, a muffler wrapped around your head, your hair dusted with snow, your cheeks flushed from the cold. you were smiling at the candy canes like they were the most magical thing in the world.
i stopped, not sure if i should approach. i had the keychain in my hand, clutching it tight. my heart raced at the thought of finally giving you something, of finally telling you how much you mean to me.
i thought, this was it.
but then, i saw him.
someone else, someone taller, someone who looked like he belonged with you. he walked up to you, took your hand, and smiled at you. your eyes lit up when you saw him.
i froze.
my stomach twisted when he leaned down and kissed you. i watched you smile against his lips, and i could see the happiness in your eyes.
i stood there, completely still.
the moment iâd imagined for so long, the one where iâd finally be brave enough to talk to you, to give you the gift and the words that had been stuck inside me. but it wasnât for me.
it was for him.
i turned away, my grip loosening around the keychain. i donât know why i thought youâd feel the same way. i shouldnât have been surprised, but it hurt. it hurt more than i could have ever expected.
as i walked, i bumped into someone. the sudden jolt made the keychain slip from my hand, and it fell to the ground with a soft clink.
in a panic, i reached out, my hand stretching toward the tiny flowers that had somehow come to mean so much to me. but the crowd was relentless, people moving quickly, oblivious to anything but getting to their next destination.
someone stepped on it.
then another.
and another.
the red flowers, so beautiful just moments ago, was crushed underfoot. pieces of it scattered across the pavement, the petals breaking apart with each step
i stood there, helpless, my fingers trembling as i watched it all happen. i wanted to scream, to shout, to stop the world from moving so fast. but all i could do was watch the remnants of the flower.
i shouldâve known.
you were too perfect.
too perfect for someone like me.
January 23
"mr. kim?"
i looked up, surprised to hear my name. it was you, standing there with a soft smile on your face.
âyes, ms. ___?â
you smiled again, this time a little warmer.
"you can call me ___," you said gently, as if you were giving me permission to speak to you like a normal person.
i nodded, too nervous to say anything else. i wanted to tell you that you didnât have to call me mr. kim, that taehyung was fine, but the words never left my lips. they got stuck somewhere in my chest.
âme and my friends are going out for lunch, and i wanted to invite you too,â you said, still smiling.
"m-me?" my voice caught, the surprise clear in my tone. i couldnât understand why youâd want me to join you. i barely ever spoke to you outside of work, and i could never bring myself to be as casual as everyone else.
âyou always work alone, well i am sure you prefer it that way..â you chuckled. âi donât know, i just thought you might enjoy spending time with us.â you looked at me with those hopeful eyes, as if you were waiting for me to say yes. as if you genuinely wanted me there.
it felt like the moment when i first met you all over again. everything became still. my heart raced in my chest, and i could feel the weight of your gaze on me.
i couldâve said no.
i couldâve come up with some excuse.
but i didnât.
"that would be nice," i managed to say, the words barely above a whisper, but enough for you to hear.
you smiled again, and for a brief moment, it felt like the world was just you and me.
February 12
"you know, i like your quietness, mr. kim."
we were walking together, you had invited me to lunch, and you mentioned you had something you wanted to ask me.
"oh..." was all i could manage to say.
you glanced at me, your eyes catching mine for a moment before you looked away, your smile barely noticeable. i felt a little flushed, a little nervous under your gaze. i quickly looked forward, trying to focus on anything else.
you chuckled softly, your voice breaking the silence. "you remind me a lot of my boyfriend," you said, the words casual, like they didnât carry the weight they did in my mind.
"oh..." i stammered. so it was your boyfriend.
"do you like him?" i asked without thinking. it was a stupid question.
you laughed, a soft, light sound that seemed to come from somewhere genuine. "i wouldnât be dating him if i didnât."
my heart sank just a little.
of course, you liked him. why would i even ask? but i couldnât take it back.
when we finally reached the restaurant, you led us to a quiet corner, and i sat across from you, feeling a strange mixture of comfort and tension. you looked at me, as if expecting something.
"i thought youâd prefer it like this," you said.
and i did. it was peaceful, calm. just like you.
"so!! the thing i wanted to ask you about," you started, leaning in slightly, your voice lowering in a way that made me pay attention to every word. "itâs valentineâs day soon, and i really want to get something cute for my boyfriend."
"oh..." i said again, my voice barely above a whisper.
"donât take me wrong, but like i said, you remind me of him. youâre a lot like him. quiet, calm. so maybe you could help?" you leaned in a little, and i could feel my face getting warmer.
it felt strange. unsettling. like a weight pressing against my chest.
"i don't know, ms. ___â"
"you can call me by my name," you reminded me, your voice soft. it made me feel even more unsure of myself.
"___, i think youâre asking the wrong person... i-iâm not good with stuff like... valentineâs day," i stammered, my gaze shifting away from you. i couldnât meet your eyes. the words felt wrong, awkward.
you studied me for a moment, then leaned back in your chair. "thatâs okay, mr. kim," you said, and there was something in your voice that made me feel even worse.
what if you were just trying to make small talk? what if i had ruined it? what if you were just being kind, as always, and i made it so... uncomfortable?
"b-but you like to bake, right?" i suddenly said, not really thinking. "so... thatâs a good present, i guess. i mean, i would love it. i mean, they were delicious! so.." i quickly added, flushing slightly at how ridiculous it sounded.
your smile returned, this time wider. "that sounds nice!! and i am glad you liked them" you chuckled, and for some reason, the sound of it made me smile too.
just then, your phone rang. you excused yourself, your voice light as you answered the call.
"oh, excuse me," you said, and i nodded in response, trying not to listen too closely.
"hey, honey... oh, iâm just with a colleague right now.â you chuckled. âi miss you too, joon"
it mustâve been him.
i didnât mind.
i couldnât. i just sat there, watching you, wishing this moment could last a little longer, even if it meant nothing more than a colleague relationship. even if it was just fleeting moments like these.
and as you spoke softly to him, my smile faded slightly, but the warmth remained.
February 14
valentine's day.
i hated this day.
but that morning, i couldnât help but notice you. smiling to your coworkers, your friends, as you handed them small boxes of what i guessed were chocolates, all tied with a bright yellow bow.
even though you werenât smiling at me, just watching you made me feel warm. it softened the bitterness of the day, just a little.
by afternoon, i was at my desk, buried in work as usual. i didn't see you approach, but i felt the air shift when you stood infront me.
âmr. kim?â yourvoice was gentle, like you always were.
i looked up, startled, and you placed a small box with a purple bow on it in front of me.
âhappy valentineâs day,â you said, your smile soft but genuine. and just like that, my heart skipped a beat.
you turned as if to leave, but i couldnât let it end like that.
â___,â i called out, my voice catching in my throat. you stopped and looked back at me, waiting.
âyou can call me taehyung,â i said, the words coming out almost too quietly.
you smiled again, that same warm, reassuring smile. "taehyung," you nodded, as if it were something important.
it was.
to me, it was.
June 13
it was the day you were transferring to a different city.
it was the last time i saw you.
you were a little emotional. there were tears in your eyes as you bid goodbye to your coworkers.
i didnât expect you to talk to me. i stayed at my desk, silent, watching everythin
it was sad.
hell, it was heartbreaking.
then i saw you walking towardsme, and for a moment, i froze.
âtaehyung, iââ you started, your voice soft, hesitant. you looked down, a little sad. âi wish i got to spend more time with you.â
thatâs when everything around me shattered. again.
âi regret not becoming a good friend of yours,â you said, your voice wavering, âi⊠i tried.â
you looked up, your eyes glistening.
âyouâve always been so quiet, so reserved,â you said, letting out a nervous laugh. âi guess i never knew how to reach you. but i wish i had.â
i wanted to say something, anything. but the words got stuck in my throat, just like they always did.
âi hope⊠youâll let someone in someday,â you continued, your voice growing softer. âyouâre a good person, taehyung. i hope you know that.â
i felt my chest tighten, my heart aching with every word you spoke.
you turned around to leave, taking a few steps, and something inside me broke.
i love you.
you froze for a moment, then turned back to face me, confusion etched across your features. âdid you say something?â you asked, your voice tentative, uncertain.
i said it. but it was all in my head.
i hesitated, my chest tightening. âyou are a good friend, ___.â
your eyes widened slightly, and for a moment, we both just stared at each other. your gaze held something i couldnât quite place.
was it surprise? sadness? relief?
âthank you, ___,â i added, trying to steady my voice.
your lips curved into a soft smile, one that reaches your eyes. the smile i love.
âthank you, taehyung,â you said softly.
you gave me a small nod, and then, with one last lingering glance, you turned to leave again.
i stood there, rooted in place, watching as you walked away, your figure growing smaller with every step you took.
i wanted to chase after you. to call out to you.
but i didnât.
instead, i stayed silent, clutching the words i couldnât say louder in my chest, where they would remain forever.
you disappeared around the corner, and with that, the last piece of you i had left slipped away.
and all i could do was whisper, too late for you to hear.
âi will miss you.â
November 21
today.
the day that started everything.
itâs strange how vividly i remember it, even after all this time. it feels like it was just yesterday when you walked into the office for the first time, bright eyed and full of energy, ready to take on the world.
i miss you.
a lot.
i donât know where you are now. i donât know what your days look like, or how youâre living your life. i donât know if youâre happy, if youâre struggling, or if you ever think back to those days.
but i know one thing for sure. youâre strong.
no matter how tough things get, you always find a way to smile and keep moving forward, like nothing can hold you back. you donât dwell on the past, donât let it weigh you down. you just... keep going.
maybe thatâs what i admired about you the most.
maybe thatâs why it hurts so much now.
because you were always moving forward, and i was always staying behind.
i think about you every day. the way you smiled, the way your laugh lit up even the dullest corners of the office. i think about how you never seemed to falter, even when things were tough.
but i also remember the small things. the moments when you were quiet, staring out the window like your mind was somewhere else. the way your hands trembled slightly when you were overwhelmed but still tried to keep it together.
i wish i couldâve told you then how much you mattered. how much your presence alone changed everything for me.
but i never did.
and now itâs been so long, and i donât even know if you remember me. if i was just another face in your story.
maybe i was.
but you were everything in mine.
âhey, taehyung, can you get these copies for me?â jiminâs voice broke through the quiet hum of the office.
âyeah, sure,â i said as he placed the stack on my desk.
he lingered for a moment, his teasing smile creeping onto his face. âyou look happy today,â he said, raising a brow. âthinking about someone?â
i looked down, avoiding his gaze. âsomeoneâŠâ
he doesnât miss a beat, his eyes catching something around my neck. ânice necklace you got there. what is it?â
i held the pendant gently, a faint smile tugging at my lips as i showed it to him.
âuh... a red piece?â he guessed, leaning in to get a better look.
âitâs a flower,â i muttered, my fingers brushing over the broken piece of petal.
he squinted, then tilted his head. âthat looks like a piece of broken glass.â
âit is,â i whispered, my voice soft as i stared at it. âbeautiful, isnât it?â
jimin gave me a look, clearly confused, but he didnât press further. âright, okay.. uh iâll see you later,â he said, walking away with a shrug.
i closed my eyes, clutching the small, shattered piece in my hand.
even now, i couldnât forget you.
your eyes.
your laugh.
your cookies.
your smile.
how could i ever forget you?
i would keep you in my heart, even if it hurt. forever.
i hope youâre happy.
i hope youâre smiling the way you always did, bright, warm, as if the world didnât weigh on your shoulders the way it did on mine.
i hope whoever stands beside you now knows just how lucky they are. i hope they see you for everything you are. your kindness, your strength, the little quirks that make you... you.
and iâm glad
truly glad that..
that day...
i didn't go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like..
i love you.
đ permanent taglist:
@lovieku @deluluisdasolulu @ddanasjk @onlyforyoukook @diamondjeon @nnybtitts08 @lil0u0 @butnotmontana @fr0ggieth1nk @minimoninini @whoa-jo @lola75111 @iswearimover5feetall @rispwr @genevieveeeee @kookoo-kachoo @junecat18 @iheartchanelle
@internetrando64 @jkvias @134340-kr @mar-lo-pap @fluttershypoo @kyuupii @https-mei @jungkookmyoneandonlybaby @beigerin @nikidream24 @winterbeartaehyungbestboy @jaykay-world @jmscaffeine @libra04
#kim taehyung x reader#kim taehyung#taehyung angst#one-sided love#taehyung oneshot#one-shot#bts oneshot#bts taehyung#taehyung x reader#angst#unspoken love#sad stuff
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I Wanna talk about today's LAES episode!
Okay, I loved this episode and am pleasantly surprised by how mature most of them handled this, especially Lunar and Moon. Lunar knows he messed up, and he really has no excuse for what he did. He made a dumb mistake with MAJOR repercussions. He takes his punishment like a man and accepts it won't be easy to earn everyone's forgiveness, and it's up to Earth if she wants to forgive Lunar or not and that's fair.
Monty and Moon are rightly mad at Lunar, and while I think Monty shouldn't threaten to punch Lunar, it's entirely fair. That's just who Monty is. He's an angry guy and doesn't like it when people hurt people he cares about, so while he shouldn't have threatened Lunar, it is to be expected. Monty loves Earth. She's one of the best things that ever happened to him, and he adores her and hates seeing her get hurt and betrayed... again. While yes, it was an accident, it was a very poorly and badly timed accident.
We don't know if Earth is gonna be okay.
-Best case scenarios
They get all the negative star power out of her and she's back to her old self again
Or she's fine, but she just feels numb like Monty's arm did for like five months.
-WORST case scenario
She dies.
Monty has all the right in the world to be mad. Everyone here does. Lunar could have killed Earth! Or hurt Moon, or Jack, or Dazzle. They have all right to be mad!
I'm glad all of them still care for Lunar and still see him as a brother and don't want anything bad to happen to him. I'm proud of Moon despite the fact that he was very hurt by Lunar's words he still loves him. If this had been how OLD old Moon he would have torn Lunar to shreds verbally... and then maybe physically.
I'm proud he's grown from his angry past.
Sun and Solar seem the most sad to kick Lunar out, but they understand his actions NEED to have consequences.
I've seen some people say that it's not fair for them to kick out Lunar and say he's dangerous...
Guys... HE IS. Lunar is basically a walking BOMB!
Yes, Monty has access to dangerous weapons, and so does Solar and Moon... but they keep those away from Earth in places she won't find them or get hurt by them.
Sun has magic.... he can control it.
(when he's not having a nightmare)
While everyone in that room is dangerous, they're all careful. Lunar wasn't.
So, now he has to face the consequences. It's sad to see Lunar be separated from his family and still have no idea who he is or what he's supposed to be... but who knows, maybe this is what Lunar needs. Plus, if Lunar doesn't want to stay in THIS universe, I can think of one universe that could be a big help to him...
*Cough! Eclipse and Puppet's! Cough!*
This could be the first step in the right direction.
I get why people are upset at the Celestial family and Monty for kicking out Lunar... BUT I can't argue that they didn't do anything wrong. I think the Celestial did the right thing.
Actions have consequences both GOOD and BAD.
Also... does anyone else think Lunar's apartment reminds them of Peter Parker's from the Tobey Maguire Spider-man movies and Spider-man No way home. It just gives me that vibe.
Also... I feel SO BAD for Earth!
The girl has been betrayed by
-Her father
-Her brother (Nexus)
-Monty for not telling Earth about his crimes (They worked that out)
-And now Lunar!
Girl probably gonna have trust issues after this.
#sun and moon show#tsams#lunar and earth show#laes#laes earth#laes lunar#tsams moon#tsams monty#mgafs monty#I feel so bad for Earth!#Do I hear trust issues?#I feel so bad for Lunar!#Moon has grown emotionally#Everyone has all the right in the world to be mad at Lunar and kick him out#everyonehastrauma#someone help this family!#My gosh!#Lunar has entered his Lunar alone arc#All in favor of calling this Broken bonds arc say I đ€#Lunar alone arc!#Earth's broken trust arc!#they all need therapy
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Love Signs
Sun: So, I'll see you later, right?
Blake: (Nods) See you.
Sun: (Walks out)
Ruby: (Gasps) UH OH~!
Blake: What?
Ruby: Somebody's in looove~!
Blake: Don't be ridiculous. Sun and I are just friends.
Ruby: Are you sure?
Blake: ...
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Blake: (Laying on the couch) Uuuuuuuugh... This has been the worst day of my life...
Sun: (Walks in) Hey, Blake~!
Blake: (Smiles) Hey, Sun.
--------------------------------------------------
Yang: Ready to roll, Blake?
Blake: (Scroll buzzes) One sec... (Checks)
Sun: (Via scroll) LOL he does look like a banana
Blake: (Smiles) Okay, let's go.
--------------------------------------------------
Blake: ...You didn't drink the tea?
Sun: Nah... Banana tea was not a good idea. Dunno why I thought it'd be the one good thing that's banana-flavored that'd be good, but here we are.
Blake: You like bananas, but don't like banana flavors?
Sun: Yeah, yeah, I know it's weird.
Blake: I never said that. I just didn't know that about you. Is there a reason?
Sun: Well...
Blake: (Listens intently)
--------------------------------------------------
Sun: Whoa...
Blake: Yeah...
Sun: I didn't know they put you through that. Uh, you... You okay?
Blake: Yes, I am now. (Leans into him) Thank you for listening. I've never told this to anyone before, so I wasn't sure how you'd react.
Sun: Hey, it's me! I'm used to just about anything, so if you need someone to listen to you, just let me know!
Blake: Thank you.
--------------------------------------------------
Ruby: I mean, you talk about him all the time.
Blake: N-No, I don't.
Weiss: Yes, you do. In fact, after your second date together, every time we tried to steer the conversation elsewhere, you kept gushing about that ruffian!
Yang: Ice Queen was about to shove a washcloth in your mouth to shut you up!
Blake: (Blushing) O-Oh...
--------------------------------------------------
Sun: (Reading)
Blake: (Reading, Looks to Sun)
Sun: (Looks to Blake, Smiles)
Blake: (Smiles) You hungry?
Sun: I could eat. (Closes book) You?
Blake: Same. This next part is going to take some energy to get through.
Sun: You could always skip it.
Blake: And miss something important?
Sun: Hey, if it's so important, they wouldn't make the part boring, right?
Blake: (Giggles) Maybe...
Sun: ...
Blake: ...
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Blake: You should let your team know.
Sun: Ah, they're used to it-
Blake: Sun.
Sun: ...
Blake: ...
Sun: ...Okay, fine, I'll go ahead and let Neptune know. (Taps scroll) We're partners, after all.
Blake: (Raises brow) Then maybe you should act like it.
Sun: Oh, I'm sure they're fine- Oh, crap.
Blake: What?
Sun: Shoot, Neptune's asking for some help. Rain check?
Blake: I'll come with. Make sure everything is okay.
Sun: Sounds like a plan! Oh, and thanks for having my back.
Blake: Anytime, Sun.
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Ruby: And how is he compared to your last boyfriend?
Blake: (Shudders) There's no comparison. With A- I mean, my last boyfriend, everything was a minefield. Where we ate, what we did, everything we talked about. With Sun, everything is so much easier.
Ruby: Yeah, because you're in love.
Blake: WE ARE NOT-
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Sun: And, uh, yeah... That was the last time I saw my cousin.
Blake: That sounds like it was hard for you.
Sun: Eh. I'm used to it. Besides, I'm pretty sure she understands.
Blake: I thought the same way, too, when I left my parents. (Puts hand on shoulder) And I think I still feel that way.
Sun: ...Thanks, Blake. (Smiles)
--------------------------------------------------
Blake: (Smiles at the beautiful day after rain)
Blake: (Sees yellow monkey towel)
Blake: (Notices light shining through clouds)
Blake: (Picks up banana during lunch)
Blake: ...Today is a good day.
--------------------------------------------------
Sun: So... What's this movie about?
Blake: It's about a fisherman who falls in love with a mermaid.
Sun: Huh! Sounds fun!
Blake: I've already seen it.
Sun: Then why are you watching it with me?
Blake: I thought it would be something we'd both enjoy.
Sun: Oh...
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Blake: Hm... We should take the high road, through the trees.
Weiss: What? Why?
Sun: (Memory) Because the less we're seen, the more we see~!.
Blake: (In sync) Because the less we're seen, the more we see.
Weiss: ...You've been hanging around that scoundrel Wukong way too much.
--------------------------------------------------
Sun: Hey, Blake, wanna try out this-
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Blake: ALRIGHT, I GET IT! (Huffs) So... What should I do?
Ruby: You need to let him know, get down on one knee, and-
Weiss: NO.
Ruby: Huh?!
Weiss: You don't need some big, extravagant showing to prove your feelings.
Ruby: B-But...
Weiss: Just accept that you're in love with him and accept the person you're becoming because of it.
Blake: The person I'm becoming?
Weiss: Think about who you were when you first met Sun, now think about who you are now that you're with him. Do you like the old you or the new you more?
Blake: I... I like who I am more than who I was.
Weiss: Then be that person. Be that person and be happy about the love you have for Sun. Just stop talking about him so much.
Yang: Aw~! Is Weiss Cream jealous~?
Weiss: I-I am not!
Ruby/Yang: AAAW~!
Weiss: SHUT UP~!
Blake: (Thinking about Sun, Smiling)
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Hey, I've loved your insight on John and Paul's relationship after the split. Can I ask you a different question?
Namely, do you think Paul is autistic?
You don't have to answer if you don't like.
Hi Anon!
Sorry Iâve taken so long to respond to this one, I wanted to dedicate some proper time to it as itâs a more complicated one and I wanted to give it the thought it deserves. Iâm sort of in the best and worst position to answer this. The best in the fact that I am diagnosed autistic (probably AuDHD but thatâs a whole other thing) and present atypically (good eye contact, empathetic, have learnt to read people fairly well etc.) and in a way that many people donât realise Iâm autistic until they know me well or I tell them. However, that almost means Iâm in the worst position because the possibility that Iâll potentially project traits onto Paul is much higher than the average person. But Iâll try to be as unbiased as I can.
To properly judge whether Paul is autistic you would of course need a specialist who can assess his behaviour in-depth so all of this is of course speculative. From my own-brand observations and perspective, I think I would be comfortable saying that there is a distinct possibility that Paul is neurodivergent. This could be AuDHD or just straight up ADHD or PTSD (thereâs a lot of symptom overlap between the three and childhood ptsd leads to restructures in the brain). This due to the following traits that Iâve noted:
Inability to appropriately assess risk (posing lying half on a diving board over an empty swimming pool anyone?? And so many pictures of him perilously close to edges)
High need for stimulus
Perfectionist yet unable to finish things properly (Paul himself admits thereâs albums that are clearly unfinished)
Trouble expressing himself
Constant fidgeting (Ringo said he was unable to keep still)
Hyperfixations that get in the way of other tasks
Intense procrastination despite periods of aforementioned hyperfixation (sorry George Martin no I havenât done the entire score for a film until the last minute Iâve been hanging with John)
Synthesia
Potential hyper mobility (letâs just climb onto the packing in one step)
Maaaybbbeee potential co-ordination issues (man canât really dance and when he learnt to ride he started cycling backwards)Â
Rejection sensitivity
Rigid thinkingÂ
InsensitivityÂ
Distracted focus (his dad talking about him watching television and doing his homework at the same time)
Tics and stims
A musical savantÂ
So thereâs quite a bit there tbh when taken all together. That being said without proper assessment it would be impossible to say which of the three he would fall under, if any. Once again though, he shares traits that I recognise in myself and my neurodivergent friends and wouldnât be at all surprised if he was.Â
On that note, I hope you donât mind me mentioning this anon but I think youâve asked quite a few people this question on here? Iâm guessing (again apologies if this is wrong) that youâre also autistic and relate to Paul in some way that is quite personal to you? I only bring it up as Iâve been there, being autistic is hard and a lonely experience at times and finding decent representation for high functioning autism is near impossible. I would say even if Paul is autistic or not, heâs still a great example of how having these traits in no way stops you from being loved, valued and even adored. Paul has lived an incredibly successful life partially because of his traits of neurodivergency, regardless of label that in itself is pretty great to see. So yeah whilst I wouldnât want to put a label on it, I think he might be in our general camp and Iâm really happy to potentially have him here.Â
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I really like your headcanons for Cori and totally agree with them!
And if you donât mind my asking, what did you dislike about the recent episodes of Chikn Nuggit? Because personally I dislike a lot of it tooâŠthe whole shift to lore has been kind of jarring for me and I also think things were resolved too easily.
THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH, THAT MAKES ME VERY HAPPY!
& OMG THANK YOU FOR ASKING because god i've been pissed. with one episode they made me hate that stupid yellow dog
HERE'S THE THING, RIGHT. i don't even mind the shift from slapstick shenanigans in youtube short format to something that illustrates a bit more lore. in FACT, i thought the way they were going about it was very interesting! having chikn realize his ultimate power & being due to a moment of vulnerability & having been manipulated some by bezel therein,
however,
this is all cheezborger's fault. for some fucking stupid reason
LET'S BACK UP A MINUTE. cheezborger got the girl! she's all excited about it & prioritizing her girlfriend above all, as i think we all do when we're excited; we make whatever we're excited our entire worldview for a bit, it happens!
chikn, at least from my perspective, sees this - sees that all of his friends are busy doing stuff without him or have their " significant other " where he does not - with cheezborger, his best most important friend, caught up in the moment, & he feels left out. he feels like a " third wheel " &- with all of his friends occupied with something or someone else, he's all alone & feels bad. i've been there a few times, i get it. in that moment of vulnerability does bezel take advantage & PUSH chikn to realize his power & potential, to control his friends or control the world & make things how he wants them to be.
suddenly the plot goes from " chikn suffering from third wheel grief " to " chikn coming to terms with the fact that he's a god & his powers have unintendedly warped his friends. we're taking all the nonsense seriously suddenly " okay. interesting. so chikn ascends to god form & starts fucking up the whole world because he believes that's what he's MEANT to do. the conclusion of his spiraling is realizing that he was meant to cause chaos & rip apart the world? ok. i think we jumped a bit far, how & when did he decide that
now we're leaning really hard into the ' i have to do this because it's my DESTINY ' trope. okay. did you come to this conclusion after deciding you don't need your friends? or realizing that you're the god of everything & therefore such menial things don't matter? did bezel coach you more than we see through the shorts? i don't remember there being an episode dedicated to chikn's sudden snap of character, thus we just never find out where that leap in logic came from.
so the world's ending but fwench fwy & iscream manage to trap chikn for 5 seconds. chee intervenes & tries to get through to him, despite all his bullshit ramblings of " go away i'm a god this is my destiny, " this WORKS. chee pulls him from his divine spiral & all's fine now.
except chikn, IN FRONT OF EVERYONE MIND YOU - NOT IN PRIVATE, blames cheezborger for it. he's like " you ditched me & that wasn't very nice, you need to make time for all your friends "
LIKE OH OKAY. BUZZFEED YOU JUST KILLED THE VIBE.
cheezborger's excitement for her new girlfriend might have been the tipping point & the technical catalyst of this all, but not at any fault of her own. she did not do this maliciously or purposefully & i hate the way chikn says she " ditched " him. no she did not you horrible mutt she politely declined your offers to hang out because she was busy with her girlfriend, & YES IT CAN BE UPSETTING WHEN YOUR FRIEND CAN'T HANG WITH YOU BECAUSE THEY GET CAUGHT UP IN SOMETHING THEY LIKE, BUT SHE DID NOT DITCH OR ABANDON YOU SHE JUST GOT BUSYYYY
it's circumstances. chee didn't do anything " wrong ", things just happened & chikn couldn't take being apart from his friend or not having what all his other friends had & downspiralled + got manipulated by bezel.
chee gets called out in PUBLIC for " ditching " chikn when she really didn't & this is turned into a big lesson about " managing all your friends " ( kiss my ass buzzfeed your usual social lessons aren't going to fly with this one ), in essence blaming chee for the apocalypse despite the initial start of the arc having gone unaddressed since the beginning.
OH & GET THIS, we blame chee for being excited but bezel, THE ONE PUSHING FOR TOTAL DESTRUCTION OF THE WORLD & ACTIVELY MANIPULATING CHIKN TO DO IT, gets a literal slap on the wrist chikn nor anybody else calls him out for being a gigantic prick, he's just like " i fowgive u let's be fwiends " & we leave it at that apparently. are you fucking for real. that straight up smells misogynistic & straight up shitty regardless. this COMING from the stupid little youtube shorts series all about validating everyone & equality & being kind to people too just feels a PARTICULAR kind of rancid.
& yeah whatever it's a rinkydink silly buzzfeed show where every character is named some woobified or joke rendition of a food product ( chikn nuggit, cheezborger, fwench fwy - so on ), BUT I FEEL LIKE THEY WERE DOING A VALUABLE SERVICE & DOING PRETTY GOOD FOR BEING A RINKYDINK SILLY YOUTUBE SHORTS SERIES !!!!! they had such good intentions & good lessons in mind...
& then this happens. it just puts SUCH a bad taste in my mouth now, you know? & it's honest to god so disappointing! & INFURIATING
that ending was a total BUST & relaying it back now, THE PLOT OF THAT ARC IS ALL OVER THE PLACE. it can't at all decide what the point of itself was & ended SO poorly. i'll forgive the pacing because this is a youtube shorts series MEANT to be done relatively quickly & chikn nuggit isn't necessarily a show you're going to expect a masterpiece of, right. it's endearingly imperfect
but god that ending. this entire arc. fuck it all man fuck that dog
oh wow i wrote down a lot but YEAH. VERY UPSETTING. hopefully this was an entertaining read or i just look insane to my friends
THANK YOU FOR ASKING! been LOOKING for an excuse to be upset on main
#anonymous#inbox#Chikn Nuggit#i used to PITY chikn man i really did. this could have been an arc of tragedy & things out of our control & handling it or something#BUT NO WE HAVE TO HAVE SOMEONE TO BLAME & IT'S NOT EVEN GONNA BE THE CLOCK GUY#the worst part is that i don't see ANYONE talking about that massive gaping flaw beyond me & my close friends#do we not see it chat. the misogyny#i really thought that arc would swerve into something way more existential but i guess not
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oh no somebody I do not want to know about my online presence might have found this account luckily I didn't find anything suspicious in my follower list but oh my god
#nana talks#its literally my dad too I'm not gonna get into the whole lore of why I genuinely don't like him but he's an awful person#I hope nobody has to deal with somebody like that ever not even my worst enemy I'm not kidding#so like I'm hoping he's not stalking this blog#like literally what can he do not like its gonna drive me off of the platform I literally don't care about his opinion of me#but its still unsettling if he is trying to keep track of his adult daughter like this#anyways I don't know if I should reach out to tumblr support because like they probably can't do anything#literally up until I was like 15 he had stuff installed that would let him see everything I do online#eventually that app or something of his shut down and I was free hehe#like this man did and said the most horrendous things under the sun and he's like omg why does nana not want to spend time with him#I don't even care if he's reading this he knows that I don't like him#best thing you can do if you have someone like this in your life is just do whatever you want don't let them bother you that much#eventually they'll realise they can't bother you anymore#like literally for the longest while I thought he would never shut up with the insults directed towards me#but like a couple of months of not caring about it and not talking to him later and he left me alone#so like if anyone reading this can relate I am proof that it does get better my dad is the most stubborn and mean case too#so I promise you it will be okay
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I actually have thoughts about this! I think Ford is a specific type of character.
First of all: Let's talk about fanon!
Something I think that a lot of us forget when we're doing fan analysis is just how caricaturized all blorbos are in canon. This is true of any work of media: the characters aren't real people, they're figments who only exist as we see them on-screen.
Fanon is kind of like those AI image sharpeners that take a blurred photo and make it look like a person's face: yeah, technically that is an accurate way you can interpret the blur, but there are hundreds of faces that would be just as accurate, and not only are they all very different from each other, they don't even agree on the most basic and obvious traits. The same blurry headshot could be a scowling white woman with a square jaw or a smiling black man with sharp features. In a similar way, when we see a character become stressed because they just saw a mouse in a cage, we could say they're scared of mice, or morally opposed to pets, or that they have cage-based trauma - any option that works is plausible.
I think that there are characters who are good characters, characters who are uniquely good subjects for fanon, and a ven diagram between the two. For example, a lot of kids' shows from the nineties are bad, but they managed to produce a really fun and rich fandom. Meanwhile, some really beautiful and culturally important stories don't leave a lot of room for fan works because they've already said what they need to say. I think the absolute best works for fandom are the ones that are objectively good stories, but have really simplified characters: Undertale might be the best example of this, because every single character suggests a rich and beautiful personality while only being on screen for a relatively short time.
So that leads me to part two: Ford!
I think Ford fills a particular fandom niche that was empty for a lot of us.
He's extremely traumatized, and the more we learn about him, the more traumatized he is. He's kind of pushing the limits of what's acceptable from a kids' show, to be honest.
He canonically has a lot of difficulty making friends; this is partly because he's quirky and seemingly neurodivergent, but partly because he has poor social skills. He's not a cartoony, Eeyore-style "has trouble making friends but we love him anyway" character, either; there are tangible, in-story examples of him failing to make friends.
He behaves badly sometimes. This is actually my favorite trait of his - anyone who reads my fanfiction knows how much I love giving people with real flaws a chance to find love and be treated with respect. Most characters have a flaw to overcome, but in his worst moments, Ford actually lashes out and hurts others in a tangible way and not just a child-friendly way. Showrunners don't always like to show that sort of thing.
It is very, very easy to read some severe mental health symptoms into his behavior. Bill is a literal character, but he's also a pretty good metaphor: you can use him to explain hallucinations, dissociative fugues, sudden mood swings, manic episodes, severe depression, paranoia - the list goes on and on.
(That last one is really important. There's a pretty damn big difference between a good metaphor for mental illness and a thoughtful portrayal of that mental illness in a story. It's kind of like how many of us were so starved for queer representation growing up that we read queer metaphors into everything. Well, there still isn't good mental illness representation in most media, so we'll take the metaphors we can get. Ford is a really good metaphor even as he's presented, and there are a lot of holes in his narrative where personality disorder symptoms, manic episodes, delusions, etc. can slot in easily.)
None of those traits make a good Disney character. They only really work because he spends so little time on-screen; the books were only possible because of Gravity Falls's massive commercial success. So, he's a very rare example of a character who's from a light-hearted, positive, optimistic show aimed at children, but who has all of the template features necessary for us to read him as deeply broken in some ways that aren't sanitized or socially acceptable.
So, there are dozens and dozens of Ford AUs in which we project very specific experiences, traumas, and symptom sets into this one man.
How many Ford AUs out there are reflections of our own insecurities, traumas, and just general unresolved issues? Is that, like, his whole purpose in the wider multiverse of alternate Gravity Falls characters? 'Cause I KNOW it isn't just me
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I'm not an extrovert. At all. In everyday life, I'm a yapper, sure, but I need someone to first assure me I am okay to yap, so I don't start conversations, even when I really want to join in sometimes! It's just the social anxiety acting up. God knows where from and why I lose a lot of my inhibitions when it comes to talking to people about music. I don't know where the confidence has suddenly sprung from. I've made a crazy amount of friends in musical circles, either just talking to people about common music or (since it is after all in music circles) talking to bands about their own music. I let out a sigh of relief any time an interaction goes well, because in truth it's going against my every instinct. I wish I could do that in everyday life
#like that's the point where we need to remind everyone around me that as much as I say#radio is 'a job'-- it's not 'my job' lol. I wish I was this interested in data science#but like. Honestly?? I'm not even a data scientist!? I answered a few questions about classical AI having come from a computer science back#background and now people are saying to me 'I know you're a data scientist and not a programmer' sir I am a computer scientist#what are you on about#and like I guess I get to google things and they're paying me so I'm not complaining but like I am not a data scientist#my biggest data scientist moment was when I asked 'do things in data science ever make sense???' and a bunch of data scientists went#'no :) Welcome to the club' ???????#why did I do a whole ass computer science degree then. Does anyone at all even want that anymore. Has everything in the realm of#computer science just been Solved. What of all the problems I learned and researched about. Which were cool. Are they just dead#Ugh the worst thing the AI hype has done rn is it has genuinely required everyone to pretend they're a data scientist#even MORE than before. I hate this#anyway; I wish I didn't hate it and I was curious and talked to many people in the field#like it's tragicomedy when every person I meet in music is like 'you've got to pursue this man you're a great interviewer blah blah blah'#and like I appreciate that this is coming from people who themselves have/are taking a chance on life#but. I kinda feel like my career does not exist anymore realistically so unless 1) commercial radio gets less shitty FAST#2) media companies that are laying off 50% of their staff miraculously stop or 3) Tom Power is suddenly feeling generous and wants#a completely unknown idiot to step into the biggest fucking culture show in the country (that I am in no way qualified for)#yeah there's very very little else. There's nothing else lol#Our country does not hype. They don't really care for who you are. f you make a decent connection with them musically they will come to you#Canada does not make heroes out of its talent. They will not be putting money into any of that. Greenlight in your dreams.#this is something I've been told (and seen) multiple times. We'll see it next week-- there are Olympic medallists returning to uni next wee#no one cares: the phrase is 'America makes celebrities out of their sportspeople'; we do not. Replace sportspeople with any public professi#Canada does not care for press about their musicians. The only reason NME sold here was because Anglophilia not because of music journalism#anyway; personal
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me: hermes is a painfully accurate example of how some ways of defending yourself against certain kinds of insidious emotional abuse, gaslighting, ableism, and therapy speak can warp you into a person whose learned helplessness and lack of perspective can result in doing really shitty things, and who passes that abuse along in different forms (hi meteion) + lashes out in disproportionate ways + can be deeply hypocritical.
me: as a disabled person in a society where our systemic mass murder via pressure into government-sanctioned suicide is on the rise, the ancients' society is beyond fucking upsetting to me. i have zero sympathy for anything to do with them pre-apocalypse except for the effects of living in that system.
me: that said, they are a good opportunity to remind oneself that there are children in that burning building; that a society being fucked does not mean they deserve to be wiped out; and that that does not mitigate the harm they do, nor mean that its victims are not allowed to be angry or resist it, including the victims inside it.
me, booboo the fool: oh, this youtube essay about hermes looks interesting--
#final fantasy xiv#ffxiv hermes#heeeellllllppppppppp#i haven't even been looking for discourse in fact i have been trying to avoid it#i just wanted hermes meta and every other site i've so much as glanced at for it so far has been This#hermes is so so fucked up and so interesting#and Relatable in so many ways which simultaneously are incredibly validating; and can make for an uncomfortable look in the mirror#and people trying to like. diagnose him with NPD and say he's The Worst Ever Actually and is basically 'they all hated me' goob#while saying things like 'i can't be ableist i have depression'#and while accusing anyone who says the ancients did anything actually wrong at all of being anti-indigenous genocide apologists#is so much. it's So Much. oh my god#anyway i have been greatly enjoying this game and it is incredibly refreshing to see this kind of thing represented and called out lmao#FFtag#ffxivtag#genocide cw#abuse cw#abuse denial cw#abuse apologia cw#gaslighting cw#ableism cw#the salt files#(also god don't get me started on hyth/lodaeus people who do this Love Him and Think He's Super Sweet and Gay)#(when he is a horrible person in specific ways that make my skin crawl right off my body. the way he talks about meteion jesus christ)#(if your blorbo is fucked up that's fine but GOOOOOOD GOD)#warning: worm grass#endwalker spoilers
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all love and joy to all my darling american internet friends and mutuals etc etc but if I ever have to learn another thing about us news ever again I think I'm going to blow something up
#I am SO MAD that I cannot avoid information about america#and I am SO MAD that it would be politically irresponsible to avoid information about america were it even possible#the us thinks it's soooo important and the worst part is that it kind of is important. so I just have to keep knowing things against my wil#i know all these facts about your stupid presidents and yet not ONE of you could tell me what happened in the engadine maccas#not one of you know the gay marriage crocodiles quote by heart#not one of you could say why scomo is such a dickbag if you even know who he is!!!!#I'm speaking hyperbolically. to an extent. but ugh I'm so sick of it I feel like everything is so oversaturated with america#I see more information about it than any other country and I DON'T EVEN LIVE THERE#sick of it! if anyone ever plans on talking about america again please don't#and also while I'm complaining#can someone please make a vague fantasy continent that is cold in the south and hot in the north. like a normal person.#I don't want to listen to americans or anyone in the northern hemisphere ever again. goodbye#fay.... man idk what this is#fay complains#I suppose
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"SO THEY'RE MONSTERS. THE WORST KIND - THE WELL HARMED ONE. very well. you're the expert here, jake. you.. how do you make sure that they don't bother us anytime soon? this is our town. yours and mine. and no, i don't know these people, but.. i trust you. we'll make all of that happen. WHATEVER WAY YOU THINK IS BEST? WE'LL MAKE IT HAPPEN." perhaps that showed just how serious she was about all of this. about.. him? yes, she was. she would have wanted to be in control of the situation otherwise, but.. right now, she was trusting him to know better. that meant something. didn't it? to her, yes. "no. i don't buy that. if there is something that i learned a long time ago? it's that there is always a winning move. sometimes, it may be a little more difficult to see it, but.. there is always one. there is always a way to survive. together? we can find it. ALRIGHT? NO ONE'S GIVING UP. NO ONE IS LETTING THOSE BASTARDS WIN." she knew that look. in fact, she may not have seen it in him before, but.. she had seen it reflected in her own face in the past. the refusal to admit what had happened. the refusal to admit that it still got to you. she knew that look - she knew that feeling and right now, it made her feel protective for him in a way she NEVER had before. she took his hand, curling her fingers against his own.
"hey. you don't have to, okay? whenever you wish to speak of it.. i'll be here. if not, that's okay too but.. know this? no one is hurting you again. not while i'm here. i take good care of my family, you know? and you're part of it now." perhaps in ways that one would have considered brutal, but.. no, she didn't care. as long as the people she loved were safe? that was all that mattered. she'd do anything - she'd get rid of anyone - for them. her family. "ouch. talk about bad luck? but lucky for me, i suppose. or we wouldn't be here," wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. yes, this was more like it. "the last date that i went on.. well, you don't want to hear about it. SOME BORING ADMINISTRATOR GUY FROM ANOTHER HOSPITAL. pretty sure i was out of the door as soon as i could. so you see, i.. i haven't been particularly lucky in the romance department either. still learning how this goes, actually." she'd leave out the dates with parker, because he was right. they didn't matter. not in the grand scheme of things, did they? "NONSENSE! you were a great dancer. for someone that was so concerned, you were incredible. enough to sweep me off my feet.. quite literally?" she glanced at him, bitting down on her lip, before nodding. fuck it. what was one day? "i hope you know that you've quite literally achieved the impossible? i've never taken a day off. ever. for anyone. i've gone to work sick and everything else in between. this is new, but.. you know what? i'll do that." she leaned against his hand for a second, closing her eyes. yes, this felt more like it. if anything? it felt like a promise. didn't it? yes. "that.. no one's ever done that kind of thing for me. ever," no one had ever put her first. no one. "and i trust you. with anything, at this point. i'll go where you go." which was not something that she would have said to anyone, but.. jake was different and maybe, she was just starting to realise how much right now. "you know.. it's a good thing we're responsible people or i'm pretty you could have convinced me to run away with you and just.. remain there. being free, just us.. it sounds.. HEAVENLY." @springbandit
Jake let out a soft sigh, running a hand through his disheveled hair as he processed Elaine's words. The weight of hat she didn't fully understand hung heavily between them. He appreciated her confidence and offers, but he knew what Jennings & Rall truly were. What Ravenwood truly was. And he knew they weren't something even the most powerful name could buy its way out of. "They're not just con artists." he said, "They're con artists with tanks, mortars, an entire military-grade arsenal at their disposal. And Ravenwood, the contractors they work with? They don't believe in mercy. You disobey orders? You're nothing. Less than nothing." He paused, willing her to understand the gravity of what they were up against. "I've seen it. Hell, I've been a part of it. Back when I when I was with Ravenwood, we...we weren't good people. We didn't give second chances. And now that they're with J&R? There's no winning moves." Her question about what they did to him hung in the air like a knife. He hesitated, fingers curling against his sides. The memories were too close, too raw. The basement of that pig farm, the harsh lights, the pain; it was a place he tried not to visit, even in his own mind. His voice tightened as he finally spoke. "You're better off not knowing. Some things...They're just better left alone." He looked away, unable to meet her eye as he fought to steady himself for a moment, the familiar thrum of tension building in his chest.
But then, she moved closer, her words shifting the conversation, and Jake latched onto it like a lifeline. His lips curved into a faint smile. "The last date I went on didn't even have working electricity," he teased, tone lighter. "Drinks by candlelight, wasn't exactly by design and it was a far cry from romantic - her mysterious husband returned from the dead. Or rather, we thought he had." He chuckled softly, a bit of genuine warmth creeping back into his voice. "That was the last time I danced, too. Until you. And for the record? Time hasn't made me any better." He reached out, gently brushing a strand of hair from her face. "You should take the day off. Your patients will survive one day without you. In fact, they'd probably want you to have a life outside of the hospital. Besides, you deserve this. We deserve this." his hand lingered for a moment, slowly and gently tracing down her before returning to his side. "I'll show you the stars, Elaine. For as long as you want to see them." he grinned, his confidence flickering back for a moment. "You're looking at one hell of a pilot, Dr. Pederson. Trust me, the air's where I do my best work. Safer than the ground any day of the week." His gaze softened further, and for a moment, the storm in his mind was quieter. "You and me, up there...I think that sounds like exactly what we both need. No noise, no interruptions. Just us."
@fcrafcrtnight
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#Delete later#Don't read this if you're a fan of kagami cos today I'm feeling livid about her behaviour and actions in s5#Everything that salters claimed alya would be is exactly what kagami was#I feel like the reason I'm so pissed is cos I've had bitches do that to me in my school days too#Marinette gave her so much and this is what she got in return#She had her important secrets told to the person who helped the enemy and whose morals didn't align with hers#She made this girl a fucking superhero and brought her into her friendship group#AND THIS IS WHAT SHE GOT IN RETURN LOL#And the worst thing for me is that I don't see anyone talking about it and being like#Uwu kagami is such a helpless lonely girl uwu#FUCK HER#Don't get me started with the way she bitched at adrien for not standing up to gabriel at the end of s4#She was terrible to both adrinette!!!#Alya and nino deserve a better fanbase#Adrinette deserves a better fanbase#If you're a fan of kagami that's completely fine and you're well within your rights to love her no matter what#But I will forever be pissed at her for this so don't expect any fanart or fics about her from me#I won't draw or write her unless she's needed for a plot or whatever#And don't worry I'm not gonna write salt about her or anything like that#And any of my work that involves her will stay in a positive or neutral light because we don't need more negativity in this fandom#I know this is a long rant but I'm just so annoyed#It just hits close to home for me#Cos I've been in Marinette's position#Lol
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#I get tired of people trying to explain what lens I should view the world through; what way I could think that would make everything better#forgive me but I don't care; I do what I do and I do what I can and you don't see the work I do under the hood#I don't want advice on self validation or whatever; I want... I want someone to hold a mirror up so I can actually see myself#by which I mean I want input on how I'm doing; if it's good enough; if it's worth anything; if anything I make is good#everyone things I'm nice; everyone has always thought I'm nice#but given nice leaves me profoundly isolated I don't think I care#not to mention in my opinion what nice in this instance means is that I'm capable of listening#it's mostly that I have manners rather than some quality about me#I'm well behaved and polite and can listen; and that's perceived as nice or even sweet#and it's not like I'm offended by people seeing me that way; but maybe you can get why... I can't do anything with that information#but if I'm doing enough... if I provide any value to the world... I might have heard that less times in my life than years I've lived#that's where I'm totally blind#people don't tend to offer any input; and also people don't tend to let me know what they're thinking#and I in fact am not a mind reader; I can often accurately infer things; but no of that means a thing till it's confirmed#and... well... hopefully no one reads the stupid shit I say and especially not the tags so this is safe and hidden#but truthfully people just like to hear that stuff they're doing is wanted and matters#and I do not#I don't know... gotta go do more cleaning cause I need to#and I have no idea if... I've got a reason for fighting so hard to clean; but I get very little input so... I expect... well...#and thankfully I don't think they read my tags so I can say this#but I really expect they won't take me up on my offer to come out here and get away from their parents; so there will be no pay off#not that I blame them in the slightest... it's just the only possible pay off for this cleaning would be helping someone I like out#and a scrap of company#but then again... in many ways anyone coming out to live with me is the worst thing they could probably do#sorry... I have a rather bleak outlook on many things surrounding myself purely cause of what I infer from the past#there is never pay off; only more shit I need to get done#I will never be loved; I will never be wanted; I will always just kinda be an afterthought that's occasionally worth venting to#no one will ever be particularly interested in anything I'm interested while I'll chase their interests or at least try to#certainly let them talk about them when they want#...though I take that over my normal total isolation... better to at least be permitted to follow in someone's shadow than have nothing
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You know I thought for awhile that I was just a rare type of person who sure, liked people well enough but was okay being alone didn't necessarily need anyone and NO. NO. NO. OH MY GOD . YOU GIANT DUMBASS. NO HAHAHA NOOO NOPE
#tide of consciousness#See what was confusing me is usually when people talk about life partner they mean romantically sexually#And also I have yet to meet someone who gets me in the way I want someone to get me <- I think <- good chance I have and squandered it#<- that may be the evil brain talking though#But anyway so I was misconstruing the fact that the people I know and like currently are not people I want to spend my life with#With the idea that there is no one and no chance I will ever want that#And also heteronormative allo society despite my best efforts Is in my brain#And I'm only just realizing how badly I would really like to find a person or maybe people who do make me feel like. I could want that#The idea that there could be someone out there that I would want to spend my time and space with forever is mind blowing#Because honestly and this is of course the mental illness but I have kind of been under the assumption that maybe I am just like. Weeell#Evil and broken and cruel and selfish and HAHA. you know. The usual#Because you know only recently I got my first taste of 'a person is actively choosing you and wants you over all things'#And then I fucked that up because that was my first time believing anyone could care about me and you know you always fuck that one up#And that sucked and is still in the process of sucking but it has also made me realize#That there is actually a way that I would want that. Maybe#Like in a way that worked. I'd really like to have a person like that maybe#And honestly that's a nightmare to have to realize#Because before it was like hey! I guess I just don't have to worry about that!#And now I'm like FUCK. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THIS#because special secret I've never actively tried to connect to people in my life ever#I don't know how you do that! I don't know how to actively form relationships!#I just wait for someone to grab me and pull me along! It's terrifying to think about trying to discover that#AT 20!#I know it's not unusual especially in this day and age in fact it's kind of an epidemic#But you're supposed to learn how to socialize when you're a little tiny baby!!! I don't want to figure this out now I can't even get a job!#Fucking shit that's a lot of words um#Every 6 months I remember that I'm deeply deeply deeply lonely and it's the worst and then I wilfully ignore it until I rediscover it again#Every day I discover a new layer to how utterly wretchedly self loathing my brain is and its the worst#Peeling back a layer of paint and surprise! You've subconsciously thought you were fine being alone because secretly you believe#That it is impossible for you to be anything but alone! Yay!
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remember when imbalance came out and people managed to be upset griffin handled dav's perspective about cycle 92 & his relationship with lucretia with sensitivity, nuance, and realism
#imbalance#discourse wank#i'm still upset about this... people don't ever explore/care about how dav thinks/feels... all they care about is hating on lucretia#this was such a moving thing to hear articulated too... imagine saying you like dav but not caring what griffin says about/as him??#bc you'd rather see the sole canon woc vilified and insulted.. and all the complex moral and interpersonal issues in canon glossed over#i mean if my headcanons had been jossed more aggressively in imbalance maybe i'd be upset but idk. it's just more angst/meat to write abt!!#think of it as a good fun creativity-inducing thing!!! come write emotionally complex dav fics that engage w canon!!! please..anyone.... đ„ș#there is so much interesting there & it's the worst feeling being alone in thinking that... and having no one to write for & talk to....#i miss when fandoms were fun & creative and like a positive thing. just liking the characters/story and chatting & making stuff about them#i still remember when imbalance happened and someone got mad at me for being happy about it bc of course... of course. it's a taz fan!#i couldn't even be happy about imbalance with anyone because my harmless ship is so bad and weird to every single taz fan! cool!!#they're fucking friends! he regrets not supporting her and letting her voice be heard! he thinks he shares some of the blame for it all!!#sorry but you can personally dislike a ship without collectively & baselessly gaslighting me that it's abusive bc of what you're projecting#i'd daresay after 100+ years of friendship davenport nd lucretia love each other deeply despite everything..imbalance propped that up a lot#but you don't even wanna write or read about that do you...#dav having emotionally grounded and complex thoughts and feelings? not in this fandom. lucy being treated kindly? banish the thought...#also davlucy is CUTE. they're nerds. they're hardworking and devoted to saving lives and to their friends. they care for each other !!
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