#And the principality learns to appreciate his little town

[fivepebblerhehe]

So I started hyperfixating on biblically accurate angels again so now y'all gotta deal with my own versions of each type of angel just so yall know this is probably not bibically accurate lol

Seraphim: big serpents made out of pure golden light. they have six pure white wings, two on its head and four on its body, the wings have many pupiless blue eyes on them. They dance around God's form in intricate patterns, singing his praises in otherworldly voices. They can compress their forms into more humanoid ones when interacting with lesser beings, one pair of wings folded up in a way that makes them look like a feathery robe, another completely covering their head, and the third used to fly and interact with stuff (like arms)

Cherubim: humanoid with four heads, a man, a bull, a lion, and an eagle. The eagle head is on their chest (their robes are very low cut so the eagle doesn't get a beak full of fabric) they have four white wings with fiery orange tips, they have the legs of an ungulate (like a satyr or however you spell it) and cow tails. They can't change into a monstrous form much like a traditional chimera but with more wings and fire. They are the secret service of god, acting as his body guards.

Ophanim: 3-4 interconnected and spinning golden rings with eight white wings and many many eyes, with one big eye in the center which the rings rotate around. Like the seraphim they can compress their forms, with the center eye and one ring acting as the 'head' with four wings around it, one ring acts as a halo, and the other two are wrapped around the torso. One pair of wings stay unchanged so they can fly and the 8th pair turns into a pair of arms.

Second choir

Dominions: they have the face of an owl, big manes and wings made of stars with pristine robes that look like the northern lights. They uphold the laws of the universe and make sure the second and third choir are doing their jobs.

Powers: they have two heron heads with rabbit ears and rabbits feet, with the tail of a scorpion. They are ever vigilant, four eyes and ears always watching for danger and ready for action. They have wings of steel with feathers as sharp as swords (in fact many heavenly weapons are made with the feathers of a power). They serve as heavens military and fight off any stupid demons that dare cross them. They are often seen holding a spear and a shield.

Virtues: graceful beings with the legs of a deer and wings made of leaves, with antlers intertwined with plants (the specific plant depends on the individual). They have four eyes, one for each element (a blue eye, a silver eye, a brown eye, and an orange eye) they rule over nature and maintain its balance

third choir

Principalities: spider like angels with eight fluffy limbs (four arms, four legs) and six eyes. They watch over human settlements which could be a small town or an entire country. Sometimes they have very colorful wings that look like stained glass, the bigger and more powerful their territory is, the bigger their wings are.

Archangels: individuals who act out God's will in the mortal world. mostly human with a single pair of wings, the color depending on the individual. 12 total.

Angels: anything that doesn't fit in the other categories, includes guardian angels and angels of death. Really just humans with wings, but their appearance depending on the type. Usually trained by an archangel

[threewaywithdelusion]

Tommy Hagan: New Kid in Town

Tommy was an outsider from the very beginning. 

Most of Hawkins wouldn’t agree with him, but that was by design. Because before Tommy moved to town in fifth grade, he learned his lesson the hard way. He saw what it was like to be the boy whose dad cheated on his mom. He saw how the other kids gossiped and pointed and said “Tommy’s Daddy kissed other ladies.” “Tommy’s Daddy left because Tommy wasn’t good enough.” “Tommy’s going to be like his Daddy one day.”

They moved to Hawkins and Tommy needed a fresh start. So he found the King and Queen of the playground and he watched them. Steve Harrington and Carol Perkins. They had a circle of little admirers, but they didn’t let anyone else join their group. It was clear that all the kids standing around them were their subjects and that Steve and Carol were something different. Something more. 

Tommy didn’t want to be just another subject. Tommy wanted to be part of the group.

So he waited, watching, to see what they needed. 

It was a lesson that Tommy had learned young — if he wanted to be appreciated, he had to be useful. He could go get Daddy a beer and he might be invited to watch the basketball game on tv. He could bring home good report cards and Mommy would take him out for ice cream to celebrate. He could shove down a bully on a playground and the other kids would shut up about his parents, at least for a little while. 

Tommy watched Steve and Carol for almost a week. They were both clever about their popularity. Steve was athletic and all the boys wanted to play basketball or soccer with him at recess. The gym teacher always made him team captain and let him pick first, which meant Steve could deem someone worthy of being on his team or leave them squirming and embarrassed, among the last to be picked. Steve had so many cool, expensive toys and he didn’t let everyone touch, but Carol always got to. 

And Carol was smart too. She wore pretty skirts and dresses and she painted her nails, which was a really grown up thing to do. She knew everybody’s secrets and she could either keep them safe or use them to tear someone apart. Her birthday was over the summer and she’d apparently thrown a huge party before Tommy had moved to town, renting out the whole pool for an entire day and buying everyone ice cream as well. 

She and Steve used rumors, money, and the reward of their stamp of approval to stay on top. But several kids resented them for the hold they had over the whole grade. 

Tommy watched, enraptured, as one of the boys who Steve didn’t like shoved him down on the basketball court. Steve stood, scraped bloody from the asphalt, and shoved back. But Steve was unprepared for the boy to swing at his head and he ended up on the ground again. 

That was when Tommy stepped in. He stood in front of Steve and faced the other boy — Richie Howard.

“Who the heck are you?” Richie scoffed. 

“Tommy Hagan,” Tommy said. 

“Get out of the way,” Richie said, like Tommy didn’t matter. 

So Tommy punched him. He’d already learned how to fight at his old school and it wasn’t that hard to hit Richie where it would hurt. They ended up tussling on the floor, the hot blacktop leaving scrapes up and down Tommy’s back. But when they stopped rolling, Tommy was on top, throwing a punch down at Richie’s face right before the teachers managed to pull him off. 

Steve and Tommy were both sent to the nurse, with strict instructions to go to the principal’s office once they’d had their wounds taken care of. 

“I didn’t need your help,” Steve said, face red where Richie had punched his cheek bone. They were sitting on chairs outside the nurse’s office while she tended to Richie, who had come out of the fight in the worst condition.

Tommy shrugged. “I’m good at fighting.”

“I don’t even know you.” Steve looked bewildered, like he couldn’t understand why Tommy would defend him.

Tommy gave him a big smile. “I’m Tommy.”

Carol came running down the hall then, beelining straight for Steve. She looked concerned and intrigued, like she was already thinking about how they would spin this. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Steve said, even though he was bleeding just like Tommy was. 

“You gotta get good at fighting, Steve,” Carol said. “The big kids always do it.”

Steve scrunched up his face. “Why?”

“Cause you can’t let people get away with shit,” Carol said. 

Tommy was in awe. He didn’t know other girls his age who said the word shit like it was a regular part of their vocabulary. 

Carol was so cool. 

“Why can’t I just tell people they can’t get away with shit like you do?” Steve asked.

“Cause I’m a girl,” Carol said impatiently. “Girls don’t fight. Boys do.”

“Well I don’t have to learn how to fight,” Steve said. “Tommy’s good at it.”

He finally turned to face Tommy again. He was smiling and Tommy understood why all the other kids did anything he asked. 

Carol looked him up and down, eyes sharp, and Tommy sat up straight. He had to make a good impression. Steve and Carol could ruin him. Or they could make him into something. 

“You’re the new kid,” Carol said. 

Tommy nodded. 

“Where are you from?” Carol asked. 

“Chicago.”

Carol’s eyes went wide, then narrowed. “That’s a big city. It must be so must be much cooler there than in Hawkins.”

Tommy shrugged. “It was pretty cool, yeah. But Hawkins isn’t so bad either.”

Carol smiled, pleased, and Steve grinned at her, proud. Like he’d magically discovered Tommy and Tommy hadn’t planned all of this. 

His scrapes took ages to heal and his mom was not happy with him for getting into a fight his second week at a new school, but Tommy didn’t care. 

Because after that, they weren’t Steve-and-Carol. They were Steve-Tommy-Carol and they were revered. 

He was in. 

[dollarbin]

Nickel Bin #21:

J.D. Souther, RIP

Wow, he just died. Poor John Dennis!

I grew up with an uncle named JD. Unlike Souther, my uncle never suggested that Linda Ronstadt invite him over and cook him dinner (she, righteously, made him a PB&J). Nor did he found a terrible band with Richie Furray and Chris Hillman, nor write largely mediocre hit songs for The Eagles. Rather, my uncle JD collected archaeological tidbits from around the globe and worked as a chemist for a hospital until he died, relatively young.

I also grew up idolizing an altogether different JD: JD Fitzgerald, author of The Great Brain books. Did you read his books too? If not, turn off your computer and start reading them. Right now!

Uh oh, I see your still reading this instead. Okay, that's weird. But, I'll carry on...

Unlike JD Souther, my uncle JD and JD Fitzgerald did not retire at age 35 and then decide, “I had done what I wanted to do musically. And I just thought to myself, ‘All the men in my family worked until they died, and I’m going to take a few years off and build a great house and have a life.’”

Wow, that sure sounds nice. My uncle worked till until he died; so, I imagine, did JD Fitzgerald; after all, he wrote a whole bunch of books.

And I may not be named JD but today, when I am 13 years older than Souther was when he decided it was high time to hang up his songwriting boots and commence to forever appreciate the good life, I principaled a high school, taught 6 hours of classes on 12th Night, The Inferno and The Brothers Karamazov, cooked three family meals, shopped for hummus and sauerkraut at the ridiculous neighborhood grocery store my wife prefers over Trader Joe's, justified my existence in that store by picking up a six pack of hopefully gluten free beer, prayed for my Dodgers, had my dreams for them come true despite their troubling dirth of pitching as they crushed the Marlins, pet and fed the cat while dealing with its feces, typed this nonsense in my kitchen while simultaneously applauding the Schitt's Creek episode taking place in the family room, watched 7 glorious minutes of Neil Young shredding on stage in Japan in 1976 and read 20 divine pages of Ursula K. LeGuin.

And J.D. Souther? He apparently spent the last 44 of his 79 years retired and the other 35 years as either a child or as a guy who wrote songs for others and dated famous ladies. Plus he played occasional shows and did a little acting on the side. Sounds rough.

Wow, I sure sound bitter, don't I? Butdon't get me wrong: I enjoyed my day and I'm prepared to praise the recently departed JD Souther. But first we need to talk about JD Fitzgerald.

I note, by the way, that you have not stopped reading this and done as I directed: you are not currently reading The Great Brain books. I will take the high road and assume that you are not a lazy bum; rather, I will embrace the fact that you already know those 6(?) or 7(?) titles all too well: that you read them to all your children when they were young, or plan to do so once they are born, and that you keep copies of the books, like I do, conveniently about your house.

But just in case I'm wrong, and you are indeed a lazy bum, here's a run down on Fitzgerald: JD grew up 100+ years ago in a Utah nowheresville with a Mormon mom and a non-Mormon dad and an older brother who was a born confidence man, i.e. a swindling preteen who did everything from selling tickets to view his family's water closet - the first in their town; come, see it flush! - to using his great brain help the town's lonely and angry queer girl learn how to read and fend off the bullies. The younger brother in question grew up to write stories about said older brother and each novel is a Stone Cold Classic and is surprisingly unproblematic - there's no racism or homophobia! progressive thinking around religion and migration abounds! - even by today's probably not lofty enough standards.

I'd say J.D. Fitzgerald did more than all right for himself.

And J.D. Souther? He did all right too. After all, he passed this timeless, swaying song to Linda Ronstadt (and he even contributed some choice backing vocals).

And Faithless Love is just about equal to a lifetime of very good work...

[pebblesinyourshoe]

The Wizard of Ash Grove

There is a dot on the map just north of the dot on the map that is Battle Ground, Indiana. This little dot has a few houses and a grain elevator used in times gone by. This little collection of houses was a whistle stop at some point. Ash Grove, Indiana isn’t a name that many know. The name rolls off your tongue nicely and always makes me think that at some point - maybe there still is - a collection of ash trees dotted the landscape and someone started saying, “That Ash Grove would sure be a nice place to build a house.”

Ash Grove isn’t famous for much unless you grew up in these parts. There’s a man who raised children there. His dad was a welder at Alcoa and he lived clear across the county in another little spot with an equally intriguing name, Clarks Hill. But circumstances meant that the family move north and settle in a spot smaller than where they came.

The boy attended Battle Ground High School. He wore the Tomahawk basketball jersey with pride although he admitted he wasn’t very good. His brother, he said, was talented. The Tomahawks won the county tournament with his brother. There is a picture of him with the net draped over his head at TC’s Restaurant. Stop by. You can see it.

This man grew up and cut hair and was an auctioneer. He had two sons and a daughter and the love of the game and its pull called him to embrace it longer.

This man had the idea to take the children who were his children’s age who sat in his barber chair or whose father did, and barnstorm. They didn’t have second hand uniforms - theirs were more third-hand. Most time they would show up and go right to the bench and coach would throw out a few balls and the kids would do layups and shoot around. They mostly didn’t have their names announced pregame unless they went somewhere like Rossville or Otterbein where basketball was a religion and no matter how rag-tag the visitors were, they were welcomed with a locker room to sit at half time and their names, which would be scribbled quickly by coach on a napkin or something after he bellowed out, “Jackson,, what’s your number?” would be called. Those were the best games.

Coach did nothing fancy. He let them play. He would beller and holler but never in a mean way. His kids always played hard. His teams always learned during the game and if you ask any of them now - all well into adulthood - they had the best time. They most often won and they always shook hands respectfully after the game.

This man is Ron Knoy. He’s a legend. I love him because he talks non-stop and when I was principal at Rossville was always so appreciative and gracious when he would barnstorm into town.

I began calling him “The Wizard of Ash Grove” about two decades ago. His son is a varsity girls coach and every game Ronnie is there. He is quiet most of the time - sitting up and away from his son so he could coach in peace. But about twice a game you will hear a loud groan after a foul or an errant pass or a missed lay up. The Wizard, like the Krakken, appears once in a while.

I had the chance to attend a high school girl/boy doubleheader tonight. I arrived about fifteen minutes before tip and walked by the sideline in front of Coach Knoy.

“Where’s the Wizard?”

“Oh he’s coming. He’s going to sit right there.”

So I made my way to the top row of the baseline bleachers directly to the right of the home bench and I waited. And sure enough, The Wizard appeared.

He was surrounded by an entourage of family and friends but sat by me. And I knew I was in for a joyous and educational basketball ride for the next four quarters. Ronnie didn’t disappoint. He was animated. He was critical. He was complimentary. He also never said a negative word about his son and his coaching. I’ve never heard him brag about him and I’ve never heard him be critical of his choices.

Ronnie Knoy is what I call a “Legend”. He’s a guy you hear about. He’s a guy you notice has something special about himself. He’s a guy that I often think about and ponder, “That guy wouldn’t want to talk to me. I’ve got nothing to offer.” But he did. And he has always taken the time. And he is someone that you spend time talking with and can’t believe that an hour has passed. He’s a legend but he’s as real as real can get.

I had the opportunity to spend part of my evening with the legend - the Wizard of Ash Grove - Coach Ron Knoy. As a fan of children myself, I appreciate that he is a fan of children as well. He represents something much different than the immaculate jerseys and organized travel teams of today. There is no place today for another group of barnstormers like that which ‘The Wizard’ organized and that is too bad. Because he offered to these kids something wonderful. And tonight, I’m honored to say that “The Wizard of Ash Grove” offered me his time and a whole lot of solicited (and unsolicited) knowledge. And my day was made and this evening will be remembered.

Thanks, Wizard.

[saintorchid]

Stuck on you

Eat, Sleep, Teach, and Kill was (Y/N) routine each day as a sorcerer. The mind-numbing routine varies each day, giving (Y/N) a little enough reason to stay in the world of Jujutsu Sorcery. However, there is a blond man who makes her time on earth worthwhile. 

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Word Count: 5k

A/N: Hello! I am back from the dead with a new fic. I kinda went overboard with this ahahahaha. As always this is smut and...

!!!!!!MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!!!! IF YOU DO I WISH BOTH SIDES OF YOUR PILLOW ARE HOT. (I’m serious and you will be blocked). 

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Eat, Sleep, Teach, and Kill was (Y/N) routine each day as a sorcerer. The mind-numbing routine varies each day, giving (Y/N) a little enough reason to stay in the world of Jujutsu Sorcery. (Y/N)’s worries clouded her mind each day. The next curse, future meetings with the staff on campus, the insufferable Gojo Satoru, and the biggest of them all, her students, overall it was exhausting.

In a world so cruel and children so innocent, it broke her heart to see the unavoidable responsibilities placed on her students. “They don’t deserve this; they are just children burden with the problems caused by the elders of the Jujutsu world.” However (Y/N) took that extra step extra mile to provide a better life for the students. Their lives were similar to an hourglass. A single grain of sand represented a day of her students' life. Their days were limited; time is the ultimate enemy for these children. How cruel.

As a teacher, you taught your students about jujutsu sorcery and taught your students how to remain human. Kindness, compassion, patience, and many more emotions, make us human. If you could do anything for these students, teach them that it's okay to be human. They are not dispensable emotionless soldiers used by the elders.

The sun shone through the window of the building you were in, basking you in a warm glow. It was an off day for everyone. The students and staff were free to leave campus to have time for themselves. Looking out the window, you see your students carrying beach towels in their swimwear.

A pink-haired student spots you in the window and calls out your name. “(L/N)-Sensei!!! Would you like to join us for a beach day! It will be fun and relaxing! We're staying at Gojo-Sensei’s villa!” Itadori yelled at the top of his lungs while showing off a bright smile.

You smile back, waving and answering your student's call, “I would love to, Yuji!” The students listened eagerly for your response, hoping you would join them.

“However!” A collectible groan came from the students. You laughed and gave them a bright smile, “I am a teacher, and I still have responsibilities such as grading your exams on the subject of curses we learned last week!” The students now had a pained expression on their faces and now slightly moving faster into the car to avoid the following few words that will come out of your mouth.

“But!” The students now had their heads sticking out of the packed car. “I would love for you guys to bring me back a seashell or some kind of souvenir! If it’s not too much to ask!”

A babble of replies came from the students while the car was slowly moving out of the parking lot, “You got it (L/N)-Sensei!”, “I’ll bring you all the seashells!” and “Bye, Sensei!! Have a nice day!”

You smiled, feeling your heart become full of love and adoration for your students. You would do anything to protect the remaining innocence they had.

You looked at your watch, still seeing that the time was 9:17 am. You still had a few more papers to grade, so you decided to finish grading them in your office and head out for the town to buy some groceries and other personal things.

You head to your office that’s right next to principal Yaga’s office he wasn’t in, so that made you breathe a little easier. You settled on your desk and started to grade your students' exams. Lost in focus, a knock on the door alerted you. You thought it was principal Yaga asking about the last meeting notes; however, you noticed the sight of a tall blonde man with an empty stare. Nanami Kento was your senpai back in your high school days. The man was a realistic person. His harsh truths and criticism never failed to pain you nor your student Yuji. A perspective entirely different from yours; however, despite his straight-to-the-point attitude, he still respected you. And you were enamored by the man who stood in front of you. His words did carry some truth, but that didn’t stop you from engaging in conversation with him and showing him the world through your eyes.

A smooth voice broke your focus from eyeing the man’s toned chest. “Is there something on my shirt?”

You immediately apologize, “Oh no, sorry! Um, anyway, what can I help you with, Nanami-san?” Quickly diverting the conversation back to Nanami. Hoping that he didn’t catch you ogling his chest. He noticed but still took some pride in knowing that you were staring at him. Nanami was quite fond of you. The two of you shared many things, such as your love for castella cakes that were sold at a hole-in-a-wall bakery the two of you once visited together. He appreciated you and the work that you do. Though he doesn’t know why you put so much effort into teaching, he enjoys watching you teach your shared students.

“I had a question about next week's staff meeting, so I came by to ask Principal Yaga about it. Do you know where he is at?” Nanami's voice went through your ear and settled in your lower stomach. You subconsciously squeezed your thighs, hoping that the light blush on your face goes unnoticed by him.

You reply, hoping that he would overlook the faltering in your voice. With all your confidence, you reply, “ I do not know where he is at, but I think that he has a meeting with the higher-ups from Kyoto.”

Nanami ponders on your answer and accepts it. “Ah, I see; well, sorry to bother you, Enjoy your day off (L/N)-san.” Nanami leaves and shuts your office door. Hearing his steps slowly fade into the air, you finally take a deep breath.

You had worries; however, one thing that clouded your mind was Nanami. You enjoyed his presence; actually, you enjoyed everything about him. You have loved him since high school. However, you don’t know his thoughts on love. You and Nanami have shared deep conversations about life but never love. It felt wrong to talk about love since the two of you were sorcerers, and your days are numbered. Still, that didn’t stop you from loving him; you just loved him in silence. You used small actions to your advantage. A cup of black coffee or his favorite sandwich from his favorite bakery, These small actions kept you sane.

You finished up the remaining exams and headed towards the school's parking lot. It was still early, so you decided to start your day. You got into your car and headed towards the shopping center in town.

You first head into a clothing store picking up some cardigans and tights since your last pair ripped while heading to a meeting with the higher-ups. The next store was a beauty shop. You picked up some lotion, face wash, and some perfume since you were running low. After a few more stories, you were about ready to leave, but your eye caught something. A store called “All for You”. It was covered in red lettering neon sign. Intrigued, you walked towards the store, not knowing what it contained.

You entered through the doors, immediately noticing the lingerie on display. You admired a set of purple lingerie, wondering how it would look on your body. The fabric is hugging your curves, your breasts covered by the transparent lace, the garter belt that would caress your thighs. A voice broke your focus; it was an associate heading towards you. “Pretty, isn’t it? We currently have a sale going on in the store its buy one get one 50% off the whole store. If you see something you like, don’t hesitate to ask one of us for help!” Her honey-coated voice filled your ears. You thanked her and began to roam the store. You noticed a few more sets, but they didn’t catch your attention like the purple lingerie set they had displayed at the front. You then landed in the back of the store and immediately froze up.

There were adult toys on shelves, a wide variety of dildos, vibrators, and more toys meant for one's pleasure. You looked at the toys observing their traits “vibrating”, “sucking”, and “thrusting”. You haven’t thought about sex nor masturbation in so long. School and the students always took up your time. It left you frustrated and stressed out. You haven’t masturbated either. Your fingers could only do so much but still left you unsatisfied and horny. Another associate came up to you.

“Hi Ma’am see anything you like?” The associate asked.

The thought of having an orgasm clouded your mind. You hadn’t had one in so long. The pebble of your nipples hitting the cold air, your puffy clit desperate for attention, your whole body was shaking due to the oncoming orgasm.

You shook out of your daze and answered the associate. You were about to spill your orgasmless life onto this associate, hoping that they would help you in some way and not be uncomfortable.

“Um, well, I don’t know where to start, but I am a teacher, and it's been challenging to have some time for myself, especially pleasure-wise. Is there anything you would recommend?” You mentally prepared yourself for the associate response.

The associate smiled and proceeded to show you an array of toys hoping that one of them would bring you the pleasure you needed.

You looked through the array of toys until the associate showed you “the best for last”.

It was a black vibrating egg. Its design was sleek and had seven different modes.

“This is one of my personal favorites. The more you squeeze, the more intense it gets. It has me orgasming under five minutes.”

You looked at the toy and decided fuck it, why not. You told the associate that you would take it.

She smiled and asked if you would like to buy the purple lingerie set since it was a buy one get one fifty percent off deal.

Without hesitation, you said yes.

You left the store with a new lingerie set and wireless vibrator. Maybe today was the day you can combat the stress plaguing you since you enter the jujutsu world.

You now walked to your car happily with today's purchases.

The campus was empty due to everyone leaving. The peace that covered the campus like a morning dew was relaxing. Days like this were rare, so you always took a second before heading towards your room to breathe in the fresh air.

You entered your now-empty apartment. You decided to do some chores and put away the things you bought. You decided to relax and catch up on some reading. However, there was a black bag on the kitchen table that teased you. You chose to keep on reading, but the words seemed to crash into each other like waves on a stormy day. Thirty minutes had passed, and you couldn’t take it anymore. You placed your bookmark on the page you couldn’t finish. Now with the black bag in hand, you walked into your bedroom wishing for something, but you didn’t know what you desired. You just hope whatever it was, worked.

You took out the items and laid them on your bed. You admired the lace on the lingerie set you bought. The removal of your clothes was of the utmost importance. A pile of work clothes piled around you. You turn around to face the mirror that also acted as your closet door. You take a look at your body. You never thought you were beautiful, just normal. Stretch marks kissed along your thighs, scars from fighting against curses made their home on your skin, and the curves and rolls that appeared were normal. You appreciated your body for keeping you alive.

Little by little, you placed the lingerie set. The bra covered your breasts and pert nipples, the panties hugged your hips, the long knee socks with frills made your legs even more delicious, and the garter belt with heart hoops added to your confidence. You posed in your mirror, enjoying the confidence the set gave you.

A box was open, and its contents covered your bed. You sat down, observing the toy in hand. It was slim and sleek. You read the instructions getting the general gist of it. It was rechargeable which was excellent. You heard stories from your female colleagues saying that they are immediately turn off when their battery-powered vibe dies on them while they are on the precipice of an orgasm. Thankful that this vibrator had a rechargeable battery.

The purple panties were now covered by a wet patch that has been slowly growing. Turning on the vibrator on the lowest setting, you teased yourself. The vibrations kissed your nipples and lit up your body in the smallest of touches. The vibrator moves across your body, sending your clit signals that it needed to be touched, to be teased, to bring you a well-deserved orgasm. The black vibrator in hand teased your covered pussy closer to the place that desperately needs to be touched. You moved it up and down your panties which were now soaking. You placed various pressure along your clothed pussy but never touching your clit. Your hips subconsciously bucked into your vibrator. Your other hand was fondling your breasts and teasing your nipples. A soft moan escaped your lips.

You were soaking. You cursed yourself for not putting a towel down, but you didn’t care. Your body felt like it was on fire.

Your hole was clenching around nothing. It was painful. You weren’t a virgin; you had someone nightstands to help relieve your stress from your early days as a teacher. Some of them managed to bring you into an orgasm, but it was futile. A connection is what you wanted, not meaningless sex. Then you thought about the blonde sorcerer that came into your office earlier.

Nanami was a handsome man with a body big enough to cage you in. Hands bigger than yours. His expensive cologne is filling up all your senses. You wanted him. Thinking about his hands slowly thrusting in and out of you, stretching you out to prepare you for his pre-cum covered cock. Drool slowly escaped your mouth. Moans and whimpers were becoming more frequent.

You placed the sleek vibrator inside your needy pussy while moving your panties to the side. Your pussy clenched on it eagerly, and the vibrations became even more potent. You tried to hold onto the self-control you had left. You decided that it was too much and wanted to take it out, but you realized it was stuck. Now panicking, you tried to reach inside, but your insides were covered in your juices. You couldn't take it out now in the process of thinking of resolutions; your doorbell went off. You froze. You were a horny mess; who could it be at this hour, you said to yourself.  

You grabbed your robe, covering your tantalizing body. A strained “Coming!” came out of your mouth. The vibrations were getting more robust, and you quickly decided to deal with the person at your door and resolve your problem by yourself.

Opening the door and seeing a 6-foot tall blonde sorcerer was now your second most significant problem.

“Sorry for coming so late. I came to return your bread…basket.” Nanami’s voice was now filled with worry seeing your flushed face.

He pulls you in closer with a firm grip. Your body is now indulging in his presence. “Are you okay?” He then proceeds to place his strong, callused hands on your face and forehead.

His hands-on you caused your pussy to clench, which the vibrator go to the following setting a more robust setting. A moan escapes your mouth.

The moan reaches Nanami's ears lighting his body up. Nanami looks at you with shock. Having no sanity left, you needed help, and you decided to ask Nanami to take out the toy that has been terrorizing your pussy.

Still in his grip, you looked at the blond who held you reasonably close. His scent reaching your nose was making this even more dangerous for you.

With a strained voice, words came out, “Nanami, please, I need your help, and I feel comfortable asking you for h-“

Your body betrayed you focused on reaching pleasure. With hurried words, you continue. Nanami's concern for you was even greater. You decided to get straight to the point for your own sake. “Nanami, please help me. I have a…”

You mumble into his toned chest.

His face reaches face level with you. A heavy blush covered your face. “What was that? I can’t hear you (L/N)-san.” A small smile tugged his lips, but it went unnoticed by you. The man in your apartment was making you go crazy with each passing minute.

With the left overconfidence, you plead to Nanami to help you.

“Nanami, please help me. I have a vibrator stuck inside me, and I can’t get it out, please. My body feels like it's on fire.” Nanami looked at you and realized the severity of the situation.

Nanami hasn't been in this situation before but seeing your trembling body in his arms; there is always a first for everything.

With no questions asked, Nanami picked you up while you directed him towards the bedroom. Carrying you, he saw the left overpacking of the vibrator, making a mental note of it. He carefully laid you on the bed.

“Nanami nggghhh, please.” Your body is now squirming on the bed, and the robe you had on was slowly coming undone.

Small flashes of your skin appeared in Nanami’s eyes. The bulge in his pants was becoming more prominent. Everything was too overwhelming. Your heart couldn’t take it anymore; the love you had for Nanami Kento was about to be spilled on his hands. Nanami reached to undo the robe that contained paradise but stopped.

“(Y/N) I am asking you for your permission before we continue? Do I have it?”

The respectful man was going to be the death of you. With all the strength you had left, you got up and immediately began to switch positions. Nanami followed your lead. He was now leaning against your bed frame while your legs wrapped around his waist.

Now trying to scrape the confidence you had left, you looked at Nanami, whose tips of his ears were now bright red.

“Nghhhhhh Nanami, you have my consent.”

Nanami reached for the robe once again, undid the loose knot, and internally groaned. He knew you were beautiful. Gojo would show him the women he had from one-night stands. They were beautiful women, but Nanami’s definition of beautiful was different. You are the definition of beautiful. He loves your kind personality and how you find a reason to live no matter how small it is. The set hugged you beautifully, and Nanami began his ministrations.

He pulled you closer, kissing your jawline to your neck. Inhaling your scent was like an aphrodisiac. His cock felt your wet, soaking pussy. He began to touch your nipples through the lace admiring the craftsmanship. You slowly started to hump him hoping for some kind of release.

He felt the pressure on his cock, which almost made him come. He immediately grabbed your waist, stopping you from attempting another thrust.

The look in his eyes made you squeal. His low baritone voice came out of his mouth. “If you keep doing that, I don’t think I could control myself.”

“Then lose it.”

Nanami’s hand ripped your panties off your body, freeing his piece of paradise. You felt the ripping of your panties, but you didn’t care. His callused hands teased your clit, and you let out a whimper. Your voice was addicting, and Nanami wanted to hear more. You were plenty wet, more than ready to take in Nanami. His cock was slowly becoming painful, but he proceeded to tease your hole. He inserted one finger and immediately feeling your pussy clench around it. The vibrator now moved into another level of intensity. You immediately arched your back, giving Nanami a view of your breasts that were now freed from your bra. Moans were now spilling from your mouth.

Nanami brought your body closer to suck on your breasts. Everything was becoming too much for you. You felt his groans while sucking your breasts. Nanami then entered a second finger. He felt the toy vibrator that has been plaguing you. He needed to take it out; why was he doing all of this extra stuff. You felt ethereal in his hands. Your moans fueled his ego and caused him to have a hard-on. You worked too much, and Nanami knew he shouldn’t be the one talking, but you deserve it. You deserve everything.

Nanami’s hands were now doing a curling motion in your pussy, hitting your g-spot every time. You told Nanami that it was becoming too much. He just went faster. Your legs began to shake, feeling your lower stomach catching on fire.

All of a sudden, the vibrator was now out of your soaked pussy. The building of a powerful orgasm now began to dissipate. You whimpered at the loss of Nanami’s fingers that were stretching your pussy deliciously.

You closed your eyes to catch a breath before assessing your next move. While you were doing that, Nanami reached into his back pocket, pulling out his wallet. He grabbed the condom that Gojo placed as a prank; however, this one time, he was grateful for his senpai. He took out the condom with one hand while his other hand was still keeping you steady. He throws his wallet on the nightstand with a condom in hand and bright red ears.

You thought about your loss of your orgasm, and you were so close, so close to reaching cloud nine. Nanami broke the silence but for a good reason.

“(Y/N)”

Your eyes immediately open; that was the second time that Nanami had said your name.

Nanami gulped. He was staring at your body. Your bra was still on you, but your breasts were free from the constraints. Your garter belt and thigh-high socks were still on by some sort of miracle. But your panties were gone giving Nanami his private view of your dripping pussy.

You began to cover yourself, but Nanami interrupted you. You slowly put your hands to the side of your body. Nanami was someone who made you feel safe and protected. You trusted him, and He trusted you. You weren’t going to betray that.

Nanami thought about the words that he would say to you, but his eyes were slowly taking your body in. He spoke, trying to ignore your body, but he would never call it a distraction. You were a ray of light that kissed his face in the morning.

“(Y/N), I know you asked me to take out your ‘problem’.”

He used ‘problem’ because he didn’t want to scare you away or embarrass you even further. You look at him with such soft eyes, his heartbeat against his chest. This unknown feeling began to creep on him. He has (Y/N), a beautiful woman, and his heart was going crazy on top of him. He continued talking.

“However, I have a solution that would leave us both satisfied.”

He then shows you the condom that was in his hand. You looked down to see his cock begging to be freed. He then asked you for your consent, and as soon he finished the last syllable, you said yes, yes, yes, as a prayer for only him to hear.

Nanami slowly pulls his pants stained with your juices down, which allowed his cock to be somewhat free, his boxers still covered it. He was about to reach for the band of his boxers but felt a hand slowly grasp his cock through the fabric. His breath got heavy. You slowly palmed his covered cock noticing the wet patch of pre-cum. You looked up for permission, and he nodded. You grabbed the band of his boxers and pulled them down. His cock sprung up, hitting his chest. Pre-cum was slowly going down his veiny cock. You began to wrap your hand around it, maintaining a steady rhythm and applying different pressures. Nanami hadn’t had sex in so long, but it never felt like this. This was different. He unknowingly thrust his hips upwards fucking himself in your hand. You then brought your other hand to play with his balls slowly. He was breathing heavily. The grunts and moans that slipped out of his mouth only fueled your passion for finishing Nanami off. Nanami realized the dynamic he was in and immediately told you to stop. He saw the pained expression on your face and began to explain himself.  

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but it’s all about you tonight; you can do it next time.”

The thought of next time made you giddy. You said okay with a smile. You were driving Nanami crazy he doesn't know how long he will last, but he’s savoring every moment with you. Nanami proceeds to lay you down. Your body was a blank canvas ready to be coated. He looks into your eyes then your lips. You slowly brought your lips closer to his lips, slowly exchanging breaths. Nanami kissed you. It started slow but slowly becoming intense. Your tongue began to lick Nanami’s lips; Nanami noticed this and opened his mouth, letting you explore before he took over. His tongue was meshing with yours. You moan into the kiss, hoping it won’t end, but this was just a tiny part of the night that the two of you were going to share.

You pull away, noticing the string of saliva that connected your lips. Nanami looks at your glossy swollen lips. Imagining how they would look around his cock. How would you take it? Would you kiss it first? Give it small licks? Thoughts of you were slowly filling his mind, you, you.

He was shaken out of his daze due to you kissing his neck. He pulled back and told you to lay down once again. He then left a trail of kisses from your forehead to the tip of your nose to your swollen lips. Kisses were littering you, and it just felt so right. He noticed that your bra was still on. He sucked and licked your nipple until it became hard. You brought your chest towards him, enjoying the feeling of his warm mouth sucking your nipple and teasing it with his tongue. While Nanami lifted your back off the bed, he used his free hand to unhook your bra. The bra all of a sudden became loose on your body. Nanami gave you a look, and you immediately tossed your bra to the other side of the room.

He continued kissing and sucking your breasts. They were made for his hands and his only. Nanami was biting harshly on the skin of your breasts. He was leaving love bites, and they looked good on you.

“Nanami, please, I want you, please fill me up; I-I need you.”

“Not yet, my darling. I still have some things up my sleeve.”

He moved down towards your body, bringing his face next to your aching pussy. He began to kiss your clit before eating you like it was his last meal on earth.

“Nanami, N-Nanami, oh god yes right there”

Nanami was enjoying your praise. Then not one but two fingers immediately entered you. You were feeling the stretch and the movement of Nanami’s fingers once again hitting your g-spot. It was all becoming too overwhelming. The fire in your lower stomach began spreading, and it was getting bigger.

“Nanami, I’m so close, please.”

Nanami saw the desperation on your face. He took pity on you.

“Before I continue, you need to do something for me.”

You, of course, said yes to anything that Nanami wanted.

“I want you to call me Kento.”

Baffled by his request, you all of a sudden got flustered.

Nanami was now waiting for you to say his name while teasing the insides of your thighs.

You whispered his name for you and God to hear it.

“What? I couldn't hear you, come on, sweetheart, I know you can do it.”

“Kento”

“Yes, (Y/N)?”

“Kento”

“Kento”

“Kento”

You were saying his name like it was a spell, and it worked.

Nanami lowered his head next to your ear, “Yeah, that sounds nice.”

Nanami lowered his dress pants and boxers even further. He grabbed the condom and ripped it open. You saw him placed the condom on his cock. He was a good 7.5 inches, but what worried you was his girth. His cock was pretty; it had a pink tip and some very prominent veins.

“Are you ready?” Nanami chuckled in amusement, seeing you stare at his cock.

“Yes, Please be gentle with me.”

Nanami smiled and said, of course. Always such a gentleman.

He then lined himself up to your hole, which has been clenching for who knows how long.

Nanami got the first inch in, feeling you immediately clench around. “God,” He thought to himself, “She’s so fucking tight.”

“Sweetie, you gotta relax. Can you do that for me?”

You nod due to you slowly reducing into a babbling mess. You did your best to relax. However, you couldn't focus on anything, only his fat cock stretching you out.

He was finally in, and it felt like fucking heaven.

“I'm gonna start moving, sweetheart’ You think you can handle me?”

Your response was quick, Yes, Kento, anything for you. I’m yours.”

He smiled. His face was covered in a layer of sheen sweat, and his mouth and throat still had remnants of your juices from eating you out.

He began moving slowly, feeling all of you around him. Each of his thrusts was met with a mixture of each other moans.

His pace is now a little faster, rougher. Your hands were squeezing the blankets beneath you. Feeling your tight pussy clench around him almost made him come. He decided it was time for both of your to reach enlightenment.

His hand reaches for your puffy clit, which immediately made you scream.

“OH GOD, Kento, please, I’m so close it hurts.”

The orgasm that was slowly building up felt different; this one felt stronger.

“I’m close, sweetheart; you can come whenever you want; I’ll be there right behind you.” Nanami Kento, the love of your life, was helping you reach an orgasm. It felt like a dream, but it wasn’t. He is abusing your needy pussy, trying to get you closer to an orgasm, and it was working. Your body was on fire. The knot in your lower stomach was about to burst. You couldn't take it any longer. Nanami now was stroking your clit with a little bit more speed and pressure.

“Kento, fuck I-I’m coming.”

Nanami felt an even tighter squeeze and fucked you through your orgasm. Nanami is stroking your clit to the point it was coming almost unbearable.

You tried to speak up, but your body betrayed you. You squirted on him, even soaking him further in your juices. Nanami saw you squirt and thrust even harder. Your pussy had a vice grip on him. Not even a second later, he moved in you as hard as he could and came. He collapsed on top of you. His cum was still leaking into the condom. He had been pent up for quite a while now.

The two of you felt like you were in heaven. Still connected, Nanami faced you, giving you a soft stare. You look back at him, trying to find the words to say, but Nanami spoke first.

“I don’t know what it is about you, but you managed to make a home in my heart. Every day, even if I see you for just a split second, I’m happy. My heart beats faster every time I think about you. Your endless devotion and love for teaching and your students amazes me. What am I feeling? Can I ask you that (Y/N)? What is this feeling that has been plaguing me since our high school days?”

His response was so innocent, and your heart nearly exploded with all kinds of positive emotions.

“Kento, That’s love. It's what keeps us humans sane. Love comes in all kinds of forms; it's versatile. I have endless devotion and love for my students because they are just children who haven’t experienced what it's like to be a normal child. I want to protect the remaining innocence they have. It’s okay to have emotions, especially one like love, Kento.”

He looked into your eyes then to your lips. He kissed you with such fever, and you happily reciprocated.

“Then will you stay with me despite our days being numbered due to our professions,” Nanami said those words with such honesty it just made you fall in love with him even harder.

“I’ll stay with you, even if our days are numbered. Let’s enjoy what we have left together.”

“I like the sound of that.”

You replied, “Me too.”

[gra-sonas]

Max Evans has had one hell of a year. The Roswell, New Mexico Season 3 premiere, which picked up a year after the events of the Season 2 finale, saw the alien-turned-cop living large with his pseudo siblings Isobel and Michael. However, his easygoing demeanor was nothing more than a facade. As it turns out, he is dying, principally because his body is rejecting the heart transplant he received last season. Now, he is on a mission to wrap up his unfinished business -- not the least of which involves Liz Ortecho, the estranged love of his life, and Jones, the alien from whom he was cloned.

Speaking to CBR, Roswell, New Mexico star Nathan Dean offered some insight into Max's end-of-life plans. He shared why it was so fun to play two separate characters in Season 3, as well as how that effect was accomplished behind the scenes. He explained the key difference between Max and Jones, which may very well show Max his own potential. He teased Anatsa's key role this season and warned fans to be worried about the results of Maria's ominous visions. He also previewed Max's reunion with Liz, the real-world issues that Season 3 will tackle and more.

CBR: This season, you're playing two separate characters. How do you alter your approach to differentiate between Max and Jones?

Nathan Dean: You know, Max has spent his whole life suppressing who he is, suppressing his abilities and trying to hide and trying to be human. Jones has never tried to do that. He has never suppressed anything. He's never tried to stop himself from finding his full potential. So really, it was just the opportunity.

I thank our showrunner Chris Hollier and our writers for allowing me to do this, to really step into the potential of what Max could have been under different circumstances, if he hadn't grown up on Earth around humans. If he never tried to suppress these abilities, if he never tried to suppress who you are or your potential, what is that? What is the limit there? For Jones, there is none.

So it was really fun to then step into this fully evolved version of the character that I've been playing and then switch between the two, go back to understanding the circumstances of, "Alright, you're human, you're trying to be human," but then switch back into, "Oh, no, you're not. You're so much more than human. You're something far beyond that." Yeah, juxtaposing the two was a lot of fun.

What is it like for you to act opposite yourself? What does that look like for you behind the scenes?

Nathan Dean: It's very weird! It's very weird. You know, there were days where there would be myself and there would be a photo double -- one for Max, one for Jones -- and there would be stunt doubles -- one for Max, one for Jones -- and we just kept multiplying on set. But it was very bizarre. It was a lot of fun.

You sort of do one side of the scene a certain way and then switch over. You know, you take the beard off, you change the outfit and change the mannerisms, change the demeanor, and then try to have a conversation with the self that you just were. It was very fun! [laughs] It was very bizarre, but it was great.

Thanks to Jones, Max is finally getting some of the answers he's longed for. How will that impact the way he sees himself, particularly in relation to Isobel and Guerin?

Nathan Dean: It impacts him a lot. I mean, we spent this past year... we weren't working. You know, a lot of people weren't working and you just kind of sit at home and have to look yourself in the mirror and really figure out who you want to be and how you want the world to remember you and how you want the world to see you.

Max is confronted with this thing in a very real person of Jones, literally looking yourself in the mirror. It sort of forces Max, I think, to take stock and appreciate Guerin and appreciate Isobel and Liz, too. I mean, just be grateful for having them in his life and finding out his place in the universe. You get to see, I think, that growth from him all season of just that gratitude and approaching people with respect, and respecting his situation so much more seeing it from someone else's eyes.

As we found out in the premiere, Max is dying. How does he envision his last days? What does his bucket list look like?

Well, I think largely it comes down to him wanting to respect and honor the people around him that have loved him in his life, and he hasn't necessarily always been good on that. So he just really wants to just be there for the people he cares about. I think for him, dying quietly and disappearing is the best option. He's always wanted to disappear into the shadows, but this season and Jones in particular kind of forced him to step out of those shadows and step into himself more.

I hope that, by the end of the season, that we see a much more mature, a much more fully formed Max than we have in the past. He's no longer allowed to hide because now there's two of him! So yeah, he's kind of forced to step into the spotlight when he doesn't necessarily want to.

It looks like Roswell has a new sheriff in town. How will that affect Max's job and his role in the community?

Nathan Dean: It doesn't really affect him. I mean, Max thankfully is not -- he doesn't have his job by election, but it definitely hurts him because Valenti was tough, but she was always kind of on his side and had his back. So yeah, he has to definitely adjust and learn a new place and learn if you he trust the new sheriff, who is coming into town in very crazy times, because now there's not one, but there's two of me.

He's got to learn how to adjust with that and hopefully, the new sheriff will be able to -- maybe not be as understanding as Valenti was, but yeah, she'll have a whole new set of problems to deal with. I hope we can trust her and hope that he'll be able to keep his job and try to keep her out of it as much as possible. But yeah, it's definitely a new rule.

In this week's episode, we learn a little more about Anatsa and her reason for coming to Roswell. How will we see that dynamic evolve as the season progresses?

Nathan Dean: Well, that's gonna be fun. I mean, she has her own agenda, definitely, and Max is a little bit reckless off the top and kind of steps a little bit out of line. But yeah, I mean, she's coming here, she's gonna learn a whole lot of things that she wasn't quite ready to learn when she first came to Roswell. Yeah, as the season goes on, we'll see her become integrated into not only Max's life, but then obviously, Michael and Isobel's life as well. She is really striving to uncover what turns out to be some uncomfortable truths.

Roswell has never shied away from dipping its toes into controversial topics, so how does that set the stage for the show to tackle some real-world current events?

Nathan Dean: Well, we've all been through a lot of these last couple years. Having jumped forward a year, we definitely touch on -- I mean, it's unavoidable. There was a pandemic! There was a lot of people going through some pretty difficult times. Yeah, we definitely jump into it. I mean, we'll talk about it. We always try to stay as current as possible.

I mean, the fact that Max is a cop, that's controversial in and of itself, and we definitely talk about that. Yeah, like you said, we don't shy away from situations that are going on in the real world, and I think this year, we were given a good platform to be able to have these conversations with level heads and not shy away from it. Stuff will come up about being a cop; stuff will come up about the pandemic. Kyle, one of our main characters, is a doctor. This stuff that doctors have had to go through these past couple of years, it's all very, very much at the forefront of this show.

We try to tackle everything with a level head and with respect. We just were given a lot of ammunition this past year, and we'll dive into it and we'll talk about it. But central to our show, obviously, is going to be these aliens and the relationship between Liz and Max and all that. So we try to play it all on an even playing field.

Just how trustworthy is Jones?

Nathan Dean: [laughs] I think you've got to figure out his agenda first! I mean, you've got to figure out what he wants. Ultimately, Jones sort of operates as a window into the past. Michael and Isobel primarily, but also Max, always had these questions boiling around in their minds about, "Who are we? Why are we here? Where did we come from? What's our place in the stars? What are we doing? What's happening?" And Jones is a window into that.

He obviously has his own plans and his own thing, but at the end of the day, yeah, he's sort of what Max could have been, had Max not grown up on Earth. We get to see that unfold and unfold throughout the season. So yeah, I mean, do you trust Max? Do you just Isobel? Do you trust Michael? Do you trust any of these aliens? Do you trust Jones? I don't know! That's all yet to be seen.

Maria keeps having visions of a funeral and she isn't quite sure who's in the coffin. How worried should fans be?

Nathan Dean: Definitely be worried. You know, we're just learning now what Maria's abilities are and what her role in this cosmic game is. As we move forward, trying to figure out what her ability is, and are these are these, in fact, real? Are these set in stone? Is this something that can be changed? What are these visions? Are these the future that's going to happen or a future that could happen?

Yeah, we learn a lot about Maria this year, and obviously Liz is off in LA trying to figure out how to deal with that as well. It's fun to sort of -- you know, she's one of the new aliens in the group and we get to figure out what that's about.

What can you tease about Max's reunion with Liz?

Nathan Dean: I mean, Max and Liz have this relationship that is constantly push and pull. They're in this orbit around each other they just can't break. It is very appropriate that she literally runs into him, because no matter how hard they try to be apart and try to be separated, the world, the universe, whatever it is, they just keep literally crashing into each other.

Obviously, it's been a year. Max is not doing well, in a lot of ways. There's also another Max out there somewhere. So yeah, they crash into each other in quite a spectacular way.

[justafandomfollower]

Thoughts on Stargirl S02E01

Season 2 is here! So, I watched the first episode last night and, while I don’t often do this for TV shows I watch, wanted to share/write up my thoughts about the episode. I mean, overall, I thought it was really good and I was grinning like a loon to see the familiar characters back onscreen. But, more than that, I had some thoughts on individual characters.

First, I really really liked the way they handled Courtney’s “overworking” as Stargirl. A lot of other shows would have the debate about how being Stargirl is dangerous and she’s just a teenager, etc., etc. But they hashed that out last season, and they’re not bringing it up again here, which should be the bare minimum but ends up just being refreshing. Pat never says she needs to put away the staff (except for that last bit where he grounds her, and even that’s temporary). Instead, he cautions her to find a balance between the superhero and non-superhero parts of her life, to pass her classes, get good grades, get some sleep, learn to take breaks every now and again, and think about her future.

I do think Courtney will ultimately be proven right about the threats that are out there (I mean, duh, we saw Cindy and Eclipso right there), but nothing Pat said was wrong, or telling her that there were no threats. So, yeah. Big fan of that part. As for Green Lantern’s daughter, while Courtney was her usual “act first, think later” self, I also kind of can’t blame her, because someone did sneak into their house and steal important JSA relics. There were faults on both sides here.

The rest of my thoughts I’ve thrown under a read-more because it’s long and rambling:

I’m pretty solid and happy with where the other three JSA kids are at the moment, but I figured I’d still break it down a little.

Yolanda: I like that she’s struggling with what she did, even months later. I like that she knows she can’t say anything at church, I like that she’s still able to talk about it with Courtney, and I like that Courtney was supportive without outright agreeing with or condemning her actions. It’s a tough thing for kids to talk about, and while an experienced adult like Pat might be able to understand it better, I like that Yolanda’s not completely bottling it up.

On that note, though, they said Cindy might have gotten crushed when the satellite came down, “like Brainwave”, so there’s a possibility here that nobody else knows what Yolanda did, which’ll be interesting to see play out, if that’s true.

Rick: Again, I like where he’s at. He’s more confident in who he is, a little more settled, but also still lost. He claims Tyler as his name again and knows he’s a hero, but he doesn’t know where he goes from here. I think that’s part of why he’s seeking out Grundy, because he’s still clinging to that part of his past because he doesn’t have any clue of what’s in his future.

He’s still very much an angry teenager new at being a superhero, ranting to that teacher about how he saved her, but knowing his character (and acknowledging how crappy that teacher was), I can’t entirely blame him for that. Was it a good move? No. Did it make sense? Absolutely.

Speaking of that teacher, she was not a good one. Can I understand her wariness about the bad boy of the school suddenly getting every answer right? Sure. But, 1) it’s been months, so surely there’s been some gradual improvement, 2) that’s not the way to do it; talk to him about it, sure, but don’t refuse to accept his explanations, and 3) refusing to accept his name change is a jerk move that a figure of authority shouldn’t be making. I could wave away the first one from TV-time-skipping-magic, but not the other two. I don’t really think we’ll see this character again (but maybe in summer school), but she’s more of a vessel to show us 1) how Rick’s changed and 2) how the way others see him hasn’t, so, I suppose, in that regard, she did her job.

Beth: It’s neat that the goggles still seem to be (mostly) working, but it’s the AI that’s not functioning. Not the route I’d thought they’d go, but it’s really interesting because it gives Beth a chance to expand her skill set, or at least expand it to the viewer, and give her a role as a coder/computer scientist. It also doesn’t cheapen the “death” of the AI that happened last season.

Also, like the others (Rick at school with the teachers, Courtney and Yolanda having a discussion in the middle of main street, even Pat with STRIPE), she’s not great at hiding her activities. They’re just goggles, maybe, and she could explain them away fairly easy, but I don’t like the way she just leaves them out around the house. I’m okay with it for now because 1) she’s a teenager, still learning, and they are pretty innocuous, 2) some of it’s probably just TV “requirements”, like not wanting to cut from scene to scene or whatever (idk, I’m not in the TV business), and 3) her parents seem pretty clueless.

And speaking of her parents, man did I not like them even more this season. Every time I saw them on screen my mind went straight to: “good people, terrible parents”. Did they ever even want a kid, or did they just like the idea of having a kid to fit into their “perfect lives” until even that wasn’t enough to keep them together? They’re barely aware of what Beth does on a day to day basis, she still seems to be the one doing all the cooking, and they forget to tell her they’re coming home late? Bad parenting, and selfish parenting at that.

Overall, my mood about Beth this episode can be summed up like this: Do I like Beth struggling? No. Does it open up possibilities for what could be a really intriguing character arc? Yeah.

My biggest complaint about our JSA is that there weren’t really any scenes of them together, but that’s more of the time constraints of having so many characters we needed to get concrete information on regarding where they stand. They had that nice patrol scene in the beginning to let us know they’re all still solid friends, so I’m happy enough with that for now.

Other thoughts:

Barbara wasn’t really in it much (no mention of her job, though the newspaper article did say something about The American Dream going through changes after the death of its leader or something like that), but I can sympathize with her wanting a vacation and not getting one. It’ll be interesting to see how okay she is with Courtney as Stargirl as things get more dangerous.

Mike, likewise, wasn’t much present, but it’s clear he’s still struggling to be a part of things. Pat wasn’t wrong, when he said that the discipline, etc. from having a job was important, but it still feels like he’s brushing Mike aside and not letting him be involved, so I can see some more resentment brewing this season. Better than last season, but c’mon Pat. Mike just wants to help. Still, hopefully we’ll get a better idea of where Mike stands in future episodes.

Artemis. Really interesting the way she brushed aside her parents being in jail as them being wrongly convicted. I’ve seen Young Justice, so I’m looking forward to seeing if they turn her into a villain or hero here.

Zeek. (Is that how he spelled it? It looked like that on his hat.) I’m, probably unnecessarily, wary of how interested he was in working with Pat at the show (does he know something?) but for now I’m mostly just mildly amused at his “I don’t care what you do on your time, but hey, do you think that robot could use a flamethrower?”. Also. Pat. C’mon man. You’ve been in this business for decades. Hide your robot better. (Though, I’ll admit, he was only resigned when he realized Zeek had found it, so... Did he have an excuse ready? Did he just not read Zeek as a threat? I’m probably reading too much into this, but it’ll again be interesting to see where it goes.)

Cameron’s back, seemingly unaware of everything, and it looks like his murderous grandparents are taking care of him. Not great, but, eh, we’ll see what happens.

Sylvester is still tracking down Pat. I’m a little bit glad the landlord either didn’t give him, or didn’t have, Pat’s information from that end scene last season. I’m also interested to see if Maggie (Mike’s Mom, if my understanding of comics I haven’t read is correct) sticks around. Sylvester seems supremely unworried and in a mostly good mood, despite his desire to track down Pat, so I really want to know what’s up with him. I’ve seen some fan theories of time travel and him being a displaced Starman, which could be interesting, but I have no idea if they’re accurate. He certainly seems to be the real deal, at least with all the right memories.

Cindy and Eclipso. That opening scene was creepy, and made me question if I’d turned on the right show, and the connection with the McNider family is really interesting. Did not like the way she had Mike’s picture, but from a writing POV I really liked it. I don’t want Mike to go villain, but I mostly trust the writers to see how this plays out.

Other thoughts: The town seems to have moved on from the mind control/satellite-dish-from-the-football-field thing, so I’m guessing there weren’t too many causalities. New principal makes sense, and I like that they didn’t need to shove it in our face to remind us what happened to the old one (plus that scene where Courtney bumps into her kid; nice and simple and shows a little of how he’s coping). I appreciate that Henry hasn’t been forgotten. No glimpse of Yolanda’s home life yet, or Rick’s uncle. No idea how Rick managed to change his name, but the threat he was hiding from is more or less gone, so it makes sense.

I may have forgotten something here or there, but anyone who’s made it this far deserves a cookie, so, thanks for reading! I’m always up for discussion if anyone wants to add on or debate any of my points.

[ayma-nidiot]

Dawn of the Dark Chapter 17

This chapter can be found here on AO3.

Chapter 17 – Pleasant Shock

After their training incident at Cerulean Cave, Ash and friends decided that that was not an appropriate place to train. Over the course of the two weeks since that time, they all had found their own ways to brace themselves against Eternatus: Ash had his exhibition games (against exceptionally powerful opponents, at that), Goh studied with Professor Sonia, and Chloe taught her students about the dangers of the Gigantic Pokemon. She even suggested to her principal that every student be taught what to do when confronted with a strong wild Pokemon – an idea that became widely popular throughout the school.

With his increasing baby bump size and swelling feet, Goh wanted to do nothing but laze around all day. He had been able to do that a lot lately, but an urgent call from Professor Sonia would put an end to that plan for today. “Hello, Professor Sonia, this is Goh. What’s up?” He sat in an expensive massage chair that Ash bought just for him.

“Goh, it’s about Eternatus. The safe that he was in is now completely destroyed. Luckily, his Poke Ball is still intact, but I fear that we are running out of time. I appreciate you, Ash, and Chloe trying to help. However, the three of you alone aren’t going to be enough – especially with Team Rocket’s Shadow Pokemon Project going on.”

“So you’re saying that we should recruit more people to help us?”

“Yes. Do you know of any good Trainers?”

“Besides Paul and Georgio? Not really…” Goh began to fall asleep; thinking about all of this made him more tired than he already was. “Except… Gary! Gary Oak!”

“You mean Professor Samuel Oak’s grandson? The one that Paul tried to challenge but he refused?”

“That’s the one. Even if Gary doesn’t want to train with us, he can lend us his knowledge.”

“Of course! As a Pokemon Professor, it should be part of my duty to collaborate with other Pokemon Professors. Even 11 years later, I still have much to learn.”

“Hey, you’re only human. I’ll be sure to let Ash know as soon as he-”

“Yo!” Ash strolled into the house; even though he was pretty exhausted from the commercial he was just doing, coming home to his pregnant boyfriend was always the highlight of his day. “Say, babe, who are you talking to?”

“Well, well… Speak of the devil. Professor Sonia, I gotta run. Nice talking to you again!” Goh hung up.

“You were talking to Sonia, huh?” Ash sat on the sofa next to Goh and kissed him on the cheek. “About what?”

“We’ve decided that we need to pay a visit to Professor Oak’s lab in Pallet Town.”

Ash’s face suddenly turned as white as a Corsola. “Did… Did you say ‘Pallet Town?’”

“Why, do you object visiting your hometown?” Goh raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you miss your mom?”

“I do, but…” Ash’s eyes darted about the room.

“…You haven’t told Delia about the pregnancy, have you?”

“Sigh… No, I haven’t.”

“But why not? I’ve told my parents as soon as I found out, and they took it well. Who’s to say that your mom won’t too? I know her very well, and she’s a really sweet lady.”

“Well, you see… She’s just too sweet – and sometimes overbearing, too. Next thing you know, she’s gonna be deciding everything about the kids – what their names are, their clothes, you name it.”

“Ash, that’s a load of horseshit. She may be their grandma, but we’re the ones who ultimately call the shots. You can’t be a mama’s boy forever.”

“…You know what, you’re right. And maybe, I can convince Gary to finally battle Paul!”

Little did Ash know that Paul had been listening the whole time. “You rang?”

“Yes, I did. You feeling up for another trip to Pallet Town?” Ash asked.

“Yeah. Maybe that Gary will finally have the cojones to battle me.”

Just then, Georgio popped his head into the living room too. “Ooh, what’s the occasion, fellas?”

“We were going to Pallet Town now and wondered if you would like to come along.” Paul already started tying his shoes.

“And you didn’t even ask if we wanted to rest first?” Goh groaned before getting up from the massage chair. “Fine, but since Chloe isn’t here, I guess I’ll be the one to drive.”

“You? No way! I gotta do it!” Ash insisted.

“I’m not in the mood to get carsick today.” Goh groaned.

“In that case, would you guys like to ride in my SUV?” Georgio offered. “It will definitely have enough room!”

“Would you really? I’m all in!” Goh was delighted that neither he nor Ash would have to drive. He started to follow Paul to said SUV.

Ash walked with Georgio outside. “I can see why Paul would want to go to Pallet Town, but why would you want to go there? Unless you have family or friends there, or you want to see Professor Oak’s lab, there’s not much to do.”

“Y-Yeah.” For a brief moment, Georgio sounded nervous before saying in his typical cheery voice, “All right! All aboard!”

About ten minutes into the drive, Paul asked impatiently, “So how long is it from Vermilion City to Pallet Town?”

“It used to be a two-hour drive, but a road connecting Cycling Road to Route 1 was finished just this year,” Georgio answered. “Now, it should only take about an hour.”

“‘Only?’” Paul grumbled. “What am I supposed to do during a one-hour bumpy ride, take a nap?”

“You could try to catch some strong Pokemon along the way,” Goh offered.

“Or stop at the Celadon Department Store,” Ash spoke up. “They’ve got everything in there!”

“And wouldn’t I know it!” Goh stayed silent for most of the drive until the SUV entered Celadon City. “Say, Georgio? Can you park near the Celadon Department Store? I need to run to the bathroom…”

“Humph.” Paul seemed narked at this delay on his trip as he got out of the SUV.

“Hey, cut him some slack!” Ash snarled. “He’s pregnant! How would you feel if you had to use the bathroom every thirty minutes?”

“At least I’ve a chance to go look at the Wiseman Gift Shop.” Paul’s tone turned slightly jovial. “I’ve heard that they’ve got evolution stones of all kinds. Later.”

“Once a jerk, always a jerk, I guess.” Goh, with Ash close behind, walked in an opposite direction from Paul and Georgio.

“He’s improving.” Ash chanced upon the baseball cap section of the store, which coincidentally stood right next to the maternity clothes section. The vast majority of them were Pikachu-themed, and some were appropriately sized for small Pokemon. “Back when we were fierce rivals, he could roast with the best of them. He’s simmered down quite a bit since then.”

“If that was him ‘simmered down,’ I can’t imagine what he was like when he was ten.” After using the loo, Goh looked at the maternity and baby section. From the rack, Goh picked a maternity shirt with a Plusle and Minun on it. In blue and red letters, it said “My Cute Little Cheerleaders.” Goh decided right then that he had to have this shirt and held it up to himself. “Oh my gosh, Ash! Isn’t this just the cutest shirt you’ve ever seen?”

“Aww…” Ash teared up at such an adorable sight. Incidentally, the men’s section also had dad-to-be shirts. He took one at random that said “Daddy To Bee” with two Combees on it. All this talk about clothes gave him the notion to look in the women’s section, and sure enough, it had a shirt that said “I love my grandkids,” adorned with an Emolga and a Dedenne. “I swear, they have everything in this store.”

“They really do!” Goh chuckled; by this point, his shopping cart was halfway full of various articles. He had already brought this cart all the way to the floor’s cash register when Ash abruptly dashed for the gardening section. “Hey, Ash! Where are you going?”

Ash didn’t answer until he returned with a pot of yellow pansies. “My mom really loves flowers, and pansies are some of her favourites.”

After ringing up all the items, the cashier said, “All right, that will be 25000 Poke Dollars.”

“Hey, not a bad deal.” Ash put the money on the counter. On his way out, he took all of the shopping bags himself back to Georgio’s SUV.

“You’re too sweet.” Goh nuzzled into Ash’s arm. “A real family man already.”

“Hehehe, thanks.” Ash noticed that Georgio and Paul were already at the car; it was apparent that they had been waiting a while. He put his purchases in the trunk, save for the pansy pot. “So, Paul, did you find everything you needed?”

Paul smirked, flaunting the evolution stones that he bought. “More than enough. I have every single evolution stone known to exist.”

“That’s awesome!” Ash blinked when Paul suddenly handed him a yellow orb, and Goh a piece of Charcoal. “What are these?”

“That there is a Light Ball, which your Pikachu will find useful. The Charcoal will make Cinderace’s Pyro Ball even stronger. They happened to have a good sale on those, so it’s not like they really cost me much.”

“Thanks!” Goh gave the Charcoal to Cinderace, who stared at in admiration.

“But don’t expect to see any further acts of charity from me in the future.” Paul spoke, and Ash could have sworn he saw a light blush on his cheeks.

“Hehehe, sure.” Ash chuckled. He got so caught up in conversation with Paul, Goh, and Georgio that the remaining time to Pallet Town passed as if they were nothing. He eagerly got out of the SUV, so fascinated by how his hometown had changed over the years. Only a few more houses had been built since his last visit, but the place was awash in greenery. He couldn’t help but wonder if Delia had something to do with that. “Wow! It’s so much prettier than I remember!”

“Hmm… You speak as if you haven’t been here for many years,” Goh remarked.

“That’s because I haven’t. You see, my last visit here was when Pikachu abandoned me after getting jealous of Riolu.” He turned to Pikachu, resting on his shoulder. “Do you remember, buddy?”

“Pika pi.” Pikachu was glad that that event was far in the past.

“So, Ash,” Georgio spoke up. “Do you want to go to Professor Oak’s lab now or later?”

“Actually, I wanted to spend today with my mom. Since I haven’t seen her in person in quite some time, we’ve got a lot of catching up to do. We’ll visit Gary and Professor Oak tomorrow.”

“I see… Well, Paul and I will find alternate lodging. We don’t want to intrude on your family time. Maybe I’ll sleep under the stars tonight. Sounds like it could be fun!”

“Ugh…” Paul didn’t like this prospect.

“We’ll see you around, then!” Georgio walked in the direction of Route 1 to look around.

When Ash had parted ways with Georgio and Paul, he got nervous all of a sudden – even more so when he rung the doorbell to his house. “Hoo boy.”

“Ash…” Goh knew why his boyfriend was so nervous. Holding his hand, he spoke, “We’re gonna be fine, trust me.”

Ash was surprised to hear a girl’s voice call out from the other side of the door. “I’m coming, dammit!”

“Who could that- Huh? Lily? What are you doing here?”

“Just helping Mrs. Ketchum bake some yummy cakes! Daddy and Uncle Hop are visiting Route 10.” Lily tried to shake off the fact that she inadvertently cussed. “In fact, I had just taken two cakes fresh out of the oven! We’re just waiting for it to cool so the Alcremies and I can decorate it.”

“Hehehe!” Delia walked up to Lily and ruffled her hair. “You’re so sweet, coming all the way from the Galar region just to bake cakes with an old lady.”

“Mom, you’re only 41…”

“Ash! My boy!” Delia gave her son a big hug. She didn’t care that he hadn’t been visiting lately; she was just glad to be able to hug him again. “My dear, dear boy!”

“Ow, you’re crushing the plant!” When Delia let go of him, Ash presented the pansy pot to her. “Here you go! I got it from the Celadon Department Store on our way here.”

“For me? Aww, you shouldn’t have!” Delia gladly accepted this gift and beckoned for Ash and Goh to come inside the house. “Please, make yourselves comfortable. You too, Goh!”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

“Goodness, that’s a lot of stuff! Need some help?” Lily asked.

“Thank you! You can just put them in my old room.” Ash allowed Lily to take his purchases – all of them, that is, except for the grandma shirt. “Hold on, this one is a present for my mom.”

Delia didn’t hear this exchange. “So, Ash, what’s been happening? Are you a true Pokemon Master yet?”

“Not yet. But I’m almost there! I can feel it!” Ash didn’t want to start off with the pregnancy news; it would be way too jarring. Instead, he sat at the kitchen island and waited for Lily to get back so they could all decorate the cake together. “Welcome back, Lily! You ready?”

“Yeah! Alcremies, that’s your cue!”

“Cremie cremie!” The Alcremies started shooting cream out of their hands into two separate bowls.

“That’s my cue, too!” Ash got out two bowls of ice and, after putting one of the cream bowls in the ice, started whisking in earnest.

“My, my!” Delia was impressed that Ash would take such an interest in backing. “You’re the eager one!”

“This isn’t my first time decorating cakes! I’m actually the proud winner of a cake-decorating contest from 11 years ago!” Ash started icing the cakes while Goh got out some decorative berries and sprinkles. It didn’t take long until both cakes were fully decorated and ready to eat. “Sweetness!” Ash snapped a shot of both cakes before cutting some slices.

“That’s wonderful, darling! I wish I could have been there to see it. Truth be told, I’ve never actually been to the Galar region.” Delia sighed. “What I wouldn’t give to go to Turffield and see all the pretty flowers there.”

“You totally can! Just say the word, and I can hook you up with some tickets!”

“You can do that?” Delia blinked. “Wouldn’t that cost a lot of money?”

“Even though I’m a new Champion, I make so much money from exhibition games, commercials, signings… You name it. Ooh! That reminds me!” When everyone had finished eating, Ash sat on the sofa, right next to where he placed the grandma shirt. “I have something I want to give you, in addition to the plant I got from the Celadon Department Store.”

“Ooh, another present?” Delia sat right next to Ash. “What is it?”

“Here.” Ash gave Delia the bag containing the shirt.

“Here we go,” Goh whispered to himself, sitting very close to Ash.

“Hum de dum…” Delia hummed while she opened the bag. “It’s a lovely shirt! And… Hmm, it says ‘I love my grandkids…’ Oh? So, Ash, you’re thinking about adopting some kids?”

“Well, no. All right, Mom, hear me out.” Ash took a few deep breaths. “Six months ago, we found out that Goh has some unusual DNA. His DNA is an almost exact match of Mew, and so he can transform into one.”

“So Goh is one of those shapeshifters, huh? The ones I’ve heard about from Professor Oak?”

“Yes, and… Well, you’re not going to believe this, but so am I.” Ash giggled weakly. “Although I’m pretty sure I’m just a Sizzlipede. I can probably start a barbecue with my fire powers, though!”

“Hahaha, that’s something!” Delia laughed.

“Yeah…” Ash turned the conversation back to the topic at hand. “Did Professor Oak tell you that shapeshifters can get pregnant, regardless of gender?”

“No. I didn’t know that.”

“That brings me to my next point.” Ash took Goh’s hand into his own as the latter revealed his baby bump. “Goh is pregnant with my children – your grandchildren.”

“Oh my…” Delia remained speechless for a brief second before breaking out in gleeful cheering. “Awww, congratulations! Can I?” Delia implied that she wanted to touch the baby bump.

“Of course!” Goh felt two simultaneous kicks when Delia touched him. “I’m carrying one boy and one girl, and I’m 26 weeks along. We still haven’t decided on names, though.”

“After that long? Now, that won’t do!” Delia put her hands to her hips.

“Do you have some suggestions, then?” Ash asked.

“No, but I do have this.” Delia got up briefly to get a book from a nearby bookshelf. “Here’s ‘100000+ Baby Names by Biggus Dickus. I’m sure you’ll find a few names that you fancy! I got your name from here, actually.”

“Th-Thank you…” Ash snickered as he opened his backpack to put this book in it. He stopped snickering when he noticed the gift bag that contained the engagement ring he bought.

Delia, remaining unaware of what Ash had in his backpack, continued, “Also, I can help set up the babies’ room if you want.”

It was this suggestion that set the wheels in motion in Ash’s head. “Actually, Mom, I was thinking of moving to Galar. Raihan, Lily’s father, has offered to help with it. It will make my job much easier.”

“But what about Goh’s job? I thought he was going to take over Cerise Laboratory.”

Goh gave an answer that Ash didn’t expect. “I’ve never mentioned it, but his other two research assistants will be doing that. As for myself, I would love to set up my own research lab in Hammerlocke. That city contains a power plant, so I figured I’d help Professor Sonia out by moving there.”

“Ooh, okay. Well, my offer still stands.”

“Ash.” Goh looked to his boyfriend. “If we’re going to have a room for the babies, then it would make sense for us to live together, just the four of us.”

“Pikachu!” Pikachu tapped Goh’s shoulder with his tail.

“And the Pokemon, of course.” Goh patted Pikachu and Cinderace on their heads.

“We certainly will.” With a steel determination in his face, Ash unwrapped the gift bag and took out the ring box. “And what better way to do that… than as husbands?”

“Ash!” Goh couldn’t think of what to say when Ash got off the sofa and on one knee. “What’s going on?”

“I know I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed. Still… Goh…” Ash opened the ring box, and its diamonds sparkled under the ceiling fan’s lights. “Will you marry me?”

“I… But… But Ash, what about your reputation? The last thing in the world I want is for any undue harm to come to you…”

“When Raihan came out to all of Hammerlocke, something dawned upon me. I owe it to all those young people in Galar, and in all the regions, to live my life honestly as a role model for others. And no matter what comes my way, Goh… Being rich and famous… Being a Pokemon Master…” Ash suddenly started crying, and hard. “It’s not worth it without you by my side!”

“Oh, Ash…” Goh started crying heavily too. “Yes! I will! I want to marry you!”

“Thank you so, so much…” Ash put the ring on Goh’s left ring finger.

“It’s gorgeous!” Goh held his ring up to the light. “Its colouring looks like Mew’s!”

“Hehe, aren’t I just the cleverest fiancé?” Ash spoke after he stopped sniveling.

“You are.” Goh poked Ash’s cheek, and unlike his new fiancé, he still hadn’t stopped crying. “Fffff… Ash, I love you so, so much.”

“I love you too, Goh.” Ash gave Goh one big, long kiss.

“About damned time!” Lily huffed.

“Lily, come on…” Ash had misunderstood Lily as being annoyed.

“Naw, I’m just teasing you guys!” Lily lightly punched Ash’s shoulder. “Say, Mrs. Ketchum, can I stay here the night? I wanna hang out with Champion Ash and play Smash with him.”

“Just Smash?” Ash blinked.

“I don’t see why not! It’s the least I can do to thank you!”

“Well, well.” Ash got up and cracked his knuckles. “I accept your challenge, then!”

“I’m in, too!” Goh followed Ash and Lily into Ash’s childhood room. “You’re going down, Lily!”

“Alcremie!” Both Alcremies grabbed controllers of their own as Pikachu did the same.

“Now we’ve got a party!” Ash declared as he set the game’s mode on team mode.

It didn’t take long for Goh to get knocked out by a CPU, and he sat there for the rest of the game, watching Ash and Lily clobber each other. “Pikachu, who do you think is going to win?”

“Pika pi.” Pikachu kept looking back and forth between the screen. When Ash’s character went down for the count, he exclaimed, “Pika pi!”

When the game ended, Lily stood up in triumph, holding up a peace sign. “And that’s that!”

“Cremie cremie!” Both Alcremies high fived her.

“Aww, that can’t be all!” Ash insisited. “All right, we’re going to keep playing until I can beat you!”

“I’m down for that!”

Luckily for Ash, it only took him about ten tries to defeat Lily in the game – and to his surprise, Goh had gotten the most KOs out of anyone. He only took breaks to go to the loo and eat, although Goh had to step outside every now and then to get some fresh air.

To wrap up their day, Ash decided on a movie called “Kanto After Time” that featured lots of fossil Pokemon. Though Lily was fascinated by the movie, she had been getting tired and fell asleep one hour into the movie, when it was dark outside.

“Falling asleep on the floor isn’t good for you.” Ash scooped Lily off the floor, careful not to wake her. “Come, I’ll take you to the guest room.”

While Ash completed this task, and while their Pokemon followed him to the guest room, Goh took this opportunity to undress and get in bed. For a time, he remained wide awake, thinking about what he had just seen with Ash and Lily. “So cute…”

Little did Goh know that Ash had subtly entered the room, undressed, and got in the bed with Goh. “What’s so cute?”

“Seeing you interact with Lily today…” Goh smiled as he snuggled with Ash. “I’ve always known this, but you’re going to make a great dad.”

“And you’re going to make a great mom.” Ash looked Goh in the eyes. Even when the lights were off, he could see Goh’s eyes very clearly. “Can you believe it, Goh? We’re now engaged to be married.”

“I’m still in shock… But in pleasant shock, of course.”

“Sigh… I wish I didn’t have to go on a mission tomorrow. I just want to spend all day in bed with my beloved Goh.”

“Shh…” Goh reached one arm over Ash and hugged him. “Just forget about that for now… Tonight… Tonight, there is no missions, no Team Rocket, no Shadow Pokemon… It’s just us.”

So were Goh’s thoughts before he closed his eyes, allowing the sound of Ash’s heartbeat to lull him to sleep.

[13-reasons-ideas]

Can’t Go Back Part 20

A/N: Here is the next Before chapter. It’s kind of long but I hope you guys like it. I took the feedback you gave me a couple of weeks ago and tried to incorporate more spark. As always, feedback is appreciated and much love. - Em

By Monday, I had turned off the sad feeling. My dad wasn’t home when I woke up. I could hear my mom in the kitchen making breakfast. I checked the weather while I got dressed. It was supposed to be nice today, so I picked a black pleated skirt and paired it with an oversized cream knitted sweater. Just to spite my dad, I put on my most traditional, reddest, red lipstick. A pair of black booties and my outfit was done. “I’m grabbing coffee on my way to school. Gotta go meet Justin!” I called as I ran down the stairs.

“Okay sweetie. Have a good day. Tell Justin I said hello.”

“I will. Love you. Bye.”

“Love you too.”

I texted Monty in the car. Meet me by the football field. I’m bringing coffee.

See you in twenty Doll.

I grabbed some extra napkins at Monet’s and headed to school.

Monty was waiting for me when I got there. I half ran down the hill towards him. I had left Justin’s coffee in the car. “Well don’t you look fancy today.” I blushed.

“I brought extra napkins and I have water in my bag so you can wipe off the lipstick.” I smiled before kissing him quickly. Then I handed him his coffee. He had been eying it discreetly.

“You’re turning me into an addict.” He grinned.

“Oh well.” I shrugged. He kissed me again. “You have red lipstick on now.”

“Napkin?” I laughed and dug it out. “Are you going to career day today?”

“You realize it’s not optional, right?”

“That doesn’t necessarily matter….” He trailed off.

“I’m dragging Justin. Don’t make me have to figure out how to explain why I’m dragging you along too.” I teased.

“Damn.”

“My parents are home, but you can come over tonight if you want. No sex though.”

“Any chance you can be quiet?” He wiggled his brows.

“I can, yes. But the squeaking wasn’t me. It was my bed.”

“Lovely. When are they going out of town again?”

“It’s April, so probably sometime early next month. Mum is done school for the semester at the end of the month. They usually go to a bed and breakfast for a weekend to celebrate.”

“I’ll clear my calendar.”

“I look forward to it.” I smirked. “I’ll see you at career day.”

“Fine.” He grumbled. I smirked again and made sure to swish my hips as I walked away. I thought I heard him saying something about evil, but I couldn’t be sure.

After a stop at my car and locker, I went out in search of my Justin. As expected, he was milling about and goofing off with Bryce. “Morning Justin.” I hugged him and handed him his coffee. “Morning boys.”

“No coffee for us?” Anders joked.

“No, maybe next time.” I joked back. “Hey Walker?”

“Yeah Addison?”

“You aren’t afraid to hurt my feelings, are you?”

“No?” He sounded unsure and his eyes narrowed. “Is this a trick?” He looked at Justin. “Are you going to kick my ass for something?”

“No. I have no idea where she’s going with this one.” He shrugged. I nodded at Monty and Scott when they joined us. Monty had already finished his coffee. I don’t think it’s me turning you into an addict.

“It’s not. I’m serious.”

“Okay then no.”

“And I can trust you to be honest with me?”

“Yes.”

“You can trust me to be honest Addy.” Justin complained.

“Not about this. Do you have plans after school?”

“No? Are you trying to ask me to hang out?”

“Yes and no. I need to take you lipstick shopping.”

“Uh, what?”

“I need you to tell me what red lipstick makes me look the most like a prostitute.” I stated, plainly. Bryce’s eyes went wide. Justin choked on his coffee. Bryce patted his back so he didn’t die in the middle of the hall. That would be a lot of paperwork for Principal Awful. I mean Bolan. The rest of the boys were blinking rapidly at me. Jeff spoke up.

“Who, why?”

“Who doesn’t matter. Why is because now I need to go buy six to spite them.” I grinned.

“You are a strange, strange little girl Addison Hawthorne.” He shook his head and smiled.

“I know. Now are you free or not?”

“I mean, I guess. I don’t want Justin to kill me though.”

“He won’t. Right Justin?”

“Uh, right.” He was looking at me sadly. He knew why I was asking.

Bryce and I were surprisingly civil with one another at Sephora. I picked out a couple of true reds. I texted Justin to let him know we hadn’t killed each other. That’s good. At home, I made myself some leftovers and turned on Netflix while I waited for Monty to show up. When he did, we watched a movie. Well, he watched it. I listened while I washed my face and stuff. Once ready for bed, we talked quietly before falling asleep. It felt so nice to fall asleep in his arms.

Friday night Monty came over again. There had been another… incident with his dad. It didn’t seem too bad this time. Just some bruising along his jaw and his wrist. I got him some ice from downstairs and brought up a snack. He smiled slightly when I handed him both bags. I kissed his cheek softly and finished getting ready for bed. We settled in my bed together and I grabbed the book I had started this morning. He got bored of looking at his phone quickly. So he decided to entertain himself by kissing my neck. “Are you enjoying yourself?” I asked as I turned a page, trying to ignore him.

“Very much yes.” He said into my neck. I tilted my neck a little more to give him better access. I was trying to ignore him. My attempts didn’t last long. Soon, I had abandoned my book, in favour of making out with my boyfriend. I slid my hands under his shirt. He groaned into my mouth when I traced his abs. In turn, he ran his hands along my stomach. I giggled softly. We were careful not to let things go too far or get too loud.

After we got our fill, I rolled over so I could rest my head on his shoulder. I kissed the bruise forming on his jaw. He smiled. Monty placed a kiss on my forehead and pulled my closer to him. My arm started to hurt a bit so I rolled over. We got comfortable spooning. I fit quite well as his little spoon. It was so nice.

“Did you want to see me tomorrow?” Monty asked as we cuddled.

“Of course.” I smiled. “Why?”

“I think it’s only fair that I introduce you to my hobby. It’s about time you learned the joys of baseball.”

“Only if you promise not to laugh when I’m terrible.”

“You couldn’t be terrible if you tried Addison.” He nuzzled my neck. I bit my lip to hold back a moan and a giggle.

“You have clearly never seen me attempt to do sports.”

“At least I’ll be entertained then.” I rolled over and as I expected, he had a shit eating smirk on his face.  

“Hey!”

“What?”

“Ass.” I sat up and crossed my arms. I refused to look at him.

“I’m sorry.”

“Mhmm.” I really couldn’t say anything else. It would have given away my feelings too much.

“Come on baby. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” Montgomery sat up to kiss my shoulder softly. “I was kidding.” I bit my lip to keep from smiling too obviously. “Baby.” He whined. “Please? I’m sure you’ll do great.” I turned to look at him, grinning. When he saw my face, his eyes widened, and his jaw dropped. “Evil. You are an evil girl.” He laughed.

“But I’m your evil girl.”

“I know. I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He moved suddenly and rolled us over, so he was on top of me. He leaned down and kissed me playfully. I giggled quietly at his sudden display of affection. His hands found their way to my hips and started tickling. I couldn’t hold back a laugh. We were supposed to be quiet since my parents were home.

I laughed louder than I meant to. He didn’t stop tickling me until we heard footsteps coming towards my room. We both froze. I covered my mouth. “Addison? Is everything okay in there?” My dad called from the other side of my door.

“Yeah Dad. I’m just reading and something funny happened.”

“Okay.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you.” I called back.

“It’s not a problem. Don’t stay up too late tonight Addy.” Neither Monty or I breathed until his footsteps retreated and my parents’ bedroom door shut. I let out a sharp sigh. Monty let out a long breath and hung his head. I snorted softly to hold back a laugh. He shook his head and bit his lip. He shushed me softly. I couldn’t help it and let out a quiet laugh. Wrapping my arms around him, I could feel his body shaking. He moved to look at me smiling.

“That was close.” He whispered.

“So close.” I whispered back.

He climbed off me slowly and we got comfortable again. I rested my head on his chest. The quick lub dubs of his heartbeat relaxed me. When he rose his arm, I looked up at him. He covered his mouth and started laughing again. I couldn’t help but laugh along. “Better get your laughs in now. Since you can’t laugh at me tomorrow.” I told him when he had calmed down again. That got him laughing again. Finally, after another several random bouts of quiet laughter, we drifted off to sleep. Monty woke me up with soft kisses when his alarm went off before my parents woke up. Thankfully they slept in on Saturdays sometimes. I watched him get dressed from the comfort of my bed. This certainly is a nice way to wake up. Too bad we can’t do this every day.

“I’ll call you in a little while.” He said, before he leaned in to kiss me again.

“Okay.”

“Bye Bookworm.”

“Bye Casanova.”

I stayed in bed for a little while longer. It felt colder without my boyfriend there. Monty texted me about twenty minutes after he left to let me know he got home.

Just got in. I’m going to go shower. Wash the terror of almost getting caught by your dad off.

That’s good. I’m going to hop in the shower in a bit too. What should I wear today?

Something moveable. My old glove should fit you.

I can work with that.

Question is, do you need the little league one or the one I used in middle school? :P

I’m not that small de la Cruz. :P eyeroll emoji

Debateable Hawthorne. Does this count as full naming you?

No. And don’t try it.

One day.

Yes dear. You keep telling yourself that. :D

I will. Gotta shower. I didn’t answer him after that and went to shower myself.

When I got out, I saw I had a text from Justin. Are we going to career fair Monday?

Sorry I was in the shower. I don’t think its optional Justin.

Everything is optional if you make it that way.

No. That isn’t how life works. We are going. See what’s out there.

Ugh fine. If we have to. :P

We do. I’ll see you Monday. Try to stay out of trouble until then.

I make no promises. I rolled my eyes and threw my phone on the bed. Pulling out some clean yoga pants and a work out tank top, I got dressed. I decided to throw my hair in a bun while it was still damp. That way it stayed up and off my neck. It was warm out today so I would probably sweat regardless. Monty called me while I was putting on sunscreen.

“Hey beautiful.”

“Hey handsome. You’re on speaker. My hands are all covered in sunscreen.”

“No problem. I just realized we never said when we were meeting or where.”

“We didn’t.”

“How does one thirty sound? Watson park?” It was a more secluded park on the edge of town. We would have less of a chance of running into someone we knew there.

“Sounds great. I’ll see you then.” He hung up and I checked the time. It was just after twelve, so I had about an hour until I had to leave.

I could hear my parents in the living room as I came downstairs. My mom was watching something on History and dad was pretending to pay attention. They were cuddling. They really are cute together. “Justin and I are going to the park for a while later.”

“Make sure you put on extra sunscreen. It’s supposed to be sunny today.”

“I will Mum.”

“Tell Justin he’s welcome to come over for dinner if he wants.”

“I’ll see if he can Dad.”

“Okay.” Since my dad seemed to be in a good mood, I sat with them for a while after making myself a peach smoothie. Even though I had no idea what we were watching, I tried to follow it. Soon it became clear that it was a documentary on King Henry VIII. I’m pretty sure Mum has watched this one at least twice. No wonder Dad isn’t paying attention. My phone dinged, signaling a text from my boyfriend. I’m leaving now. See you in a bit baby.

Okay, see you soon. Drive safe.

You too.

“I’m going to head out now. I’ll see you lovebirds later.” I said as I gathered up my things.

“Okay honey, have fun with Justin.”

“Have fun. Remember your sunscreen and water.”

I got to the park shortly before one thirty and found an open area to wait for Montgomery in. I pulled out my notebook to jot down some general setting descriptions to use later. While I was looking around the park, I spotted him. He was walking towards me in a pair of sweats and his baseball practice shirt under a flannel. Not to be confused with the jersey. Or so I had been told by Justin, who had been told by Zach and Bryce. His baseball glove was in his back pocket. He was carrying an extra, which I assumed was for me in his left hand. A baseball was being tossed in the air with his right. I waved at him. He nodded at me and sped up in my direction. “Inspiration hit?” He asked upon reaching me. I was shoving my notebook back in my bag.

“Yeah. It’s just so pretty out today.”

“It is.” Monty nodded as he placed the few items he had with him on the ground. He sat down beside me and kissed me. “Hi.” He said softly.

“Hi.” I kissed him again.

They were both chaste kisses. Neither of us were sure just how alone we really were. We snuck looks around and didn’t see that many people. Definitely not anyone we knew. So, the next time we kissed, it was deeper and more passionate. Still publicly acceptable of course.

“Are you ready to learn how to throw a baseball?”

“I mean, it can’t go much worse than the time Justin tried to teach me to throw a football.”

“I feel like there is a very painful story around that.”

“Yeah. It’s best if I stick to,” I paused, knowing I was walking right into a sex joke, “round. I know how to shoot a basketball. He made sure of that.”

“That’s good. I need to hear that story sometime though Addy.” He stood up and held a hand out to me. I accepted it and he pulled me up. Now that we were both standing, I went in for a hug. His strong arms wrapped around me tightly. I felt so safe and secure. I wish we didn’t have to hide things so much. It is kind of fun though.

“You will eventually. Not today though.”

I watched him pick up both gloves and the ball. I left my bag on the ground since we wouldn’t be moving very far. I took the glove he handed me and put it on. Monty walked around me and placed his hand on my hips. “Do we want to throw horizontally towards that tree or vertically to the trash can?”

“Horizontally.”

“Okay.” He adjusted my position slightly. Then he went to stand to my right side. “So, you need to stand with your feet squared towards me.” I did as he instructed. “Feet shoulder width apart. Make sure your shoulders and feet are squared.” I adjusted my feet. Because I was nervous, I was a little tense. Okay maybe I was a lot tense. I wasn’t sure how this was going to go. The last time I had tried to be athletic with sports balls, I hit Justin in the groin with the football. I’m rather attached to Monty’s junk. And I don’t feel like making the boy cry today. Montgomery was watching me. I could feel it. I peeked up at him.

“Yes?”

“You are really tense Addy. You need to loosen up a bit.” He took in my stiff posture. “Actually, a lot.”

“Okay.” I shook myself out a little.

“Not enough.” He smiled. I shook out a bit more. He shook his head and ran his tongue along his top lip. His brown eyes narrowed at me as he smirked.

“What?” I asked as my eyes widened slightly.

He moved in the blink of an eye. One second, he was standing next to me. The next, he had he arms around my waist and had lifted me into the air. I laughed loudly, not caring who heard. Monty spun us around and we came to a messy tumble on the ground. We rolled around a little. I ended up on top, straddling him. His hands instinctively went to my hips to keep me steady. “Feeling loose?”

“I am now.” I grinned and kissed him again. He sat up as he kissed me before pulling away.

“Don’t get too carried away Addison. We are in a public park after all.” He smirked at me. I pushed him lightly. Standing, I held a hand out to him and we resumed our initial positions. “Feet and shoulders square.” He adjusted me slightly. “There, that’s good. Now you want to keep all of your movements close to your body.”

“Okay.” I nodded. “Can I have the ball now?”

“Patience Bookworm.”

Now that I was in the right position and loose, he stood facing in front of me so I could see how he wanted me to move. “You want to shift your weight back like this.” He demonstrated the motion. I mimicked it. “Good. Now you need some force, so you’ll want to push down with your back leg and stride forward.” I followed his movements. “With your upper body you want to go like this. Keeping your movements equal and opposite.” He held the ball in his glove with his pointer and middle fingers on top, his thumb and folded ring finger on the bottom. I watched as he separated his ball hand from his glove and brought it around back. “Move the ball pointing down as long as you can. And when you get into actually throwing it, hold it facing where I’m standing now. Don’t hold it facing backwards or towards me.” I nodded. Watching him move while he explained made so much more sense. I was significantly more at ease. “When you get to this point you want to start to smoothly rotate into the throw and release the ball.” He didn’t release it though. Instead, he motioned for me to copy his upper body movements. I copied them as best as I could. When I made an error, he came over and gently corrected it. He tucked my glove in a bit when I rotated. It took a few tries, but I got the hang of it. “Now we are going to put it all together, okay?”

“Okay.”

“As you stride, your upper body starts to move.” He demonstrated again, without releasing the ball. I copied his actions. “There you go. Try it a few more times.” Monty moved around to stand behind me in case he needed to correct anything.

After a few more tries without the ball, he finally let me try holding the ball. I couldn’t release it yet. Fundamental movements first. I mimicked how he had been holding it. He had me try with the ball a few more times until we were both confident that I had the motions down. “I think you’re ready to learn how to catch now.”

“Is that easier or harder than throwing?”

“There’s less steps. Whether it’s easier or not is more about if you can receive the ball.” My eyes shifted back and forth. I looked at him, confused. He backed up a few meters towards the oak tree. “It depends if you stab your arm out to catch or not. You don’t want to stab. You want to receive.” I nodded like I understood. “It’s easier to show you. Toss the ball to me.” I tossed it and he stuck his glove out to catch it. “That’s stabbing.” Monty walked back to me and handed me the baseball. Then he resumed his position a few meters away. When he waved me forward, I tossed it to him again. This time he caught it and his arm went from out to in. “That is receiving.”

“Ohhhh. Okay. I see.”

“Are you ready?” I nodded. He tossed me the ball lightly and I caught it in the glove. I smiled brightly at him. “Good. That’s really good. Now toss it back.” I did.

We tossed the ball back and forth for a few minutes, just so I could get used to catching it. “Are you ready to start throwing properly?”

“Yeah.” I grinned. My boyfriend was a surprisingly good teacher. He threw me the ball and I caught it properly. Taking a deep breath to focus, I threw the ball like he had shown me. I hopped a little when it went straight for his glove, and he caught it. He laughed and smiled at me. We continued our game for another ten minutes or so before taking a water break. He dropped his flannel on my bag and gave me a quick side hug.

“Wait here.” He said, holding up a finger.

“Alright?” Monty kissed the top of my head before running off to, I assumed, his Jeep. When he returned, he had his baseball hat with him. He held it out to me. I looked at him questioningly.

“Try it on. You’re doing good. Now we just need to make you look the part.” I took the well-worn hat from him after I pulled my hair out of the bun. It looked a little kinky, but I was able to finger comb the knots out. Placing it on my head, I grinned at him.

“How do I look?”

“Perfect.” He leaned in to kiss me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him closer to me. He nipped my lip. I pulled away.

“Public park, remember?” I smirked.

“I know, I know.”

“I don’t think I could look Deputy Standall in the eye if he had to break it up.”

“Nope. Never.” We both shuddered. “What do you say to a few more rounds?”

“Yes please. I’m good at this. No one has gotten hurt yet.”

“Yes, you are. I told you, you would be Addy.” I waved him off and we got back to our game.

On our walk back to our respective vehicles later that evening, we walked hand in hand. “Next time I’m teaching you how to bat.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? I feel like there’s more room for injury with that.”

“Seeing as you did this well with throwing and catching, batting shouldn’t be that hard for you.”

“If you say so.” I shrugged. We had made it to my car. He kissed me goodbye before I got in. And then kissed me again when I rolled the window down to say bye. And then one more time before I drove away. I couldn’t ignore the ever-growing number of butterflies in my stomach when we were together, or I thought about him. It seemed like every day I was getting closer and closer to saying the L word. There was still something in me that was saying to wait to say it though. There were still things we needed to discuss first. Like my dad. And his dad.

Later that week, my dad and I had gotten into another fight before school. It wasn’t even important. I blocked the memory from my brain as I went about my morning. Justin didn’t suspect anything had happened. I had learned I had to ignore most of what my dad said it me. It was frustrating that my dad was a dick, but there wasn’t anything I could do. I really just wanted to spend some alone time with Montgomery. It was hard having to pretend to simply tolerate him because he is friends with my friend’s friends.

I spotted my boyfriend walking to his locker while I was talking to Alex. “That’s really cool. Hey, I totally forgot I have to hand in a French assignment next period. It’s still in my locker. I’ll talk to you later?”

“Yeah. See you Addy.” He nodded. I tore a piece of paper out of my notebook and scribbled out a note. Walking calmly in Montgomery’s direction, I slipped the note in his hand as I passed. He didn’t acknowledge it except for an almost impercepable twitch of his lip.

There was an old class turned supply room on the second floor of the sciences building that no one used anymore. I waited for Monty there. It was warm so I took off my sweater. My head snapped up when he knocked. Jumping off the empty desk in the corner, I ran to open the door. I kissed him as soon as the door closed after grabbing his wrist and pulling him inside. “Not that I’m complaining, but what’s gotten into you Addison?”

“Nothing. I miss you, that’s all.”

“I miss you too.” He smirked. I smiled up at him. He leaned down and kissed me softly.

“I missed this.” I muttered against his lips as he walked me backwards to the desk I had previously occupied. He easily lifted me onto it.

“So did I.”

“Needed this.” He kissed down my check to my neck. I could feel him searching for that special spot under my ear. When he found it, I sucked in a sharp breath. He nibbled at the spot slightly. There was no doubt in my mind that there would be a mark by the end of next period.

Satisfied with his work, he kissed back up my neck and recaptured my lips in his. “Needed this so much.” I muttered.

“I know. Now stop talking.” I sighed in response. Slipping my hands under his shirt and around his torso, I scratched his lower back harshly. Monty sucked in a harsh breath. Have fun explaining that one at baseball practice. His fingers wound themselves in my hair. He gathered a small chunk at the base of my skull and tugged gently. Couldn’t pull too hard or we risked exposure. Before things could go any further, his phone buzzed in his pocket. “Fucking people, I swear.” He grumbled as he pulled away. He rolled his eyes as he read it. “Bryce wants to know if I want to spend my lunch hour practicing my long toss.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Why would I want to spend an hour doing that, when I could spend an hour in here with my really hot girlfriend?”

“I mean, Bryce is kind of pretty. In a weird, tries too hard way.”

“Can I tell him you called him pretty?” Monty chuckled.

“No. I don’t need his ego getting even bigger. No one needs that.”

“Fine. It stays between us.” I pretended not to hear the “for now.” He added under his breath.

I hopped down from the desk and used my camera as a mirror. “You messed up my hair.”

“You carved into my back with your claws.”

“That’s easy to hide until practice. And you’ve never really complained before.”

“I’m not complaining.” He shrugged. I flipped my hair upside down and tried to shake it out some. Not trusting my boyfriend to not lie about my hair, I looked in my camera. It was a little better. In a pre-emptive attempt to cover the hickey that was forming, I braided my hair to the side. He pouted slightly.

“I don’t have a believable excuse for the hickey.”

“Fine.” He rolled his eyes dramatically. I stood on my tip toes to kiss him gently.

“I’ll see you later.” I whispered.

“See you.” He whispered back. I left first and made my way down to the cafeteria.

Justin looked at me when I sat down. “Where’ve you been?”

“Ladies room.”

“It’s been over ten minutes since lunch started.”

“There was a line.”

“Okay.” He shrugged. He didn’t seem too concerned when Montgomery sat down across from him five minutes later. My lunch was too appealing to him. As such, he missed the wanting gaze Monty sent my way.

“Did you get my text?” Bryce asked him.

“Yeah.”

“You didn’t answer?”

“I was busy.”

“Doing what?”

“Stuff.”

“What stuff? You holding out on us Monty?”

“Nah. It was math stuff.” He shrugged it off. I was shocked when Bryce didn’t press further.

The next morning, I walked to class with Justin. I was trying to stay involved in our conversation. But I couldn’t stop focusing on what my dad had said earlier. Was he right? Was there even a point? It is hard to get published. Maybe it would be a waste.

“There’s something wrong.”

“No, it’s fine Justin. My dad and I just got in a fight this morning is all.” I said.

He sighed heavily. “Of course, he did.”

“It’s nothing.”

“You’d think he would realize that he can’t dig at you forever.”

“I wouldn’t hold my breath on that one.” I shook my head and hugged him before running off to class. I ignored the small, sad feeling in my chest. I had resigned myself to the way my dad was a long time ago.

Monty was over at my place studying while my parents were out on date night.

“What did Justin mean this morning?”

“When?” I looked up from my textbook and quirked my brow across the table.

“This morning, when you were walking to class.”

“What do you mean?”

“I heard him say something about your dad when you passed us in the hall.”

“Oh. It wasn’t a big deal.”

“It seemed like a big deal to you.” I sighed and stood up.

“It was just a tiff.”

“A tiff?”

“Yes. A minor fight.”

“I know what a tiff is.” He huffed.

“It happens.”

“What happened?”

“My dad and I got into an argument this morning. It wasn’t a big deal.”

“What was the argument about?”

“I don’t know. Something stupid?” I shrugged and grabbed an apple from our fruit tree. I offered him one. He shook his head and stood up. I watched him as he picked up an orange from the basket.

“Something stupid?”

“Yeah.”

“Like what?”

I was quiet for a while. I didn’t want to deal with this now. You do. Maybe talking to him will help. It’s been long enough. You can’t keep this from him. Talk now before it blows up in your face.

“School.”

“School?”

“Registration for classes next year starts next week. And since junior year is important, I was looking at college admission requirements.”

“And that’s a bad thing?”

“Guess so.” I shrugged.

“What happened?”

“We got in a fight. He said some pretty hurtful stuff. I hurt inside for a second. Then I went to school.”

“What did he say?”

“Nothing he hasn’t said or implied before.” I was getting upset again.

“What did he say?”

“It doesn’t matter.” I sighed.

“Well, it upset you. So, it matters.”

“It really doesn’t.”

“Yes. It does.”

“There’s nothing I can do to change it. So, no. It does not matter.” I rolled my eyes to try to keep from crying.

“Addison.” He grabbed my arm gently.

“What?”

“It’s not healthy to ignore the fact that you’re upset. And if I can’t roll my eyes at you, you can’t roll your eyes at me.”

“That’s rich coming from you.”

“How do you think I know it’s not healthy?”

“I don’t take out my feelings on innocent people Montgomery.”

“Okay well first of all, I don’t know if you want to sit here and call Tyler Down innocent. Second of all, that’s the point.”

“That I don’t hurt people because I can’t deal with my emotions?”

“That you don’t do anything with your emotions. At least I’m expressing it. You sit and pretend everything is fine.”

“So, you admit that you can’t deal with your emotions.”

His eyes darkened. “We aren’t talking about me.”

“Maybe we should be.” I motioned to the bruise forming on his cheek.

“Well, we aren’t.”

“Fine.” I sighed. I wish he would just tell me about it. Pot, meet kettle. Shut up.

I was silent again as I played with my still untouched apple.

“You’re doing it again.” Monty said from the table. He had pushed aside his homework and was peeling his orange into individual slices before eating any. Interesting.

“He doesn’t like or agree with what I want to go to school for. Or where I want to go.”

“You’ve told me that.”

“Yeah, but he really doesn’t like it. Like turns into screaming matches doesn’t like.”

“Okay.” I realized after a few beats of silence that he was waiting for me to elaborate.

“Do you remember when I told you that I wanted to be a writer on our first date?”

“Yes. And you thought I would think it was stupid.”

“Yeah. You seemed confused.”

“I was. I still am to be honest. I’ve watched you write. I can tell you’re passionate about it.” “I’ve wanted to be a writer for as long as I can remember. I don’t think I really ever wanted to be anything else. At least, not after I understood that I couldn’t be a dog or a fictional character.” Monty bit back a chuckle. “I was six.” A look of understanding crossed his face. “But my parents, my dad mostly,” I paused, “once it became apparent to them that it wasn’t just a little kid big dreams thing, my choice was questioned. Anyway, this morning.”

Flashback

I was scrolling on my laptop while I ate my breakfast. I had both Ole Miss and NYU’s admissions pages up. I was cross referencing with the list of course offerings at Liberty next year. As I was scrolling through, I heard someone coming downstairs. I can take French and Algebra II. And Drama II. Hmmm. I’ll have sciences done. “Morning Addison.”

“Morning Dad.” I said, distractedly.

“What are you looking at?”

“Just stuff for school.” He walked over with his coffee to see.

“Oh. You still think you’re going to one of those schools.”

“What do you mean, ‘those’ schools?”

“I told you, you’d be better off going to Oxford. I’d even accept Cambridge.”

“And I told you I don’t want to study in England.”

“I don’t see how that matters. You probably won’t get into either of your choices anyway.”

“What do you mean? And if you don’t think I’ll get in there, how do you expect me to get into Oxford?”

“I mean you probably won’t get in. There are a lot of applicants Addison. They stand out.”

“We both know that isn’t what you mean. So why don’t you come out and say what you’re thinking?”

“You probably won’t have the marks.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“No need for the language.”

“I am in three Honours and AP classes. I will be in four next year. I’ve been at or near the top of my class since the sixth grade. Please explain to me how in the hell you think I won’t have the marks.”

“You’re in high school now. There are smarter people than you there.”

“Oh my God, Dad.” I shook my head. “I’ve gone to school with the same kids since kindergarten. It’s Liberty High. You didn’t send me to Hilcrest.”

“See, there are kids smarter than you. With as many applicants as these schools get, your marks won’t stand out. Besides, they aren’t even that good of schools.”

“They have some of the best writing programs in the country. And they are both very good schools outside of that.”

“You still think you’re going to school for writing. That’s sweet. But I won’t have my daughter wasting a degree on writing. An English degree will get you nowhere in the real world, Addison. And we both know you won’t marry rich. You can’t live off of your husband.”

I had heard his argument many times before from my parents, but the anger I had felt was beginning to dissipate none the less and that ever so familiar small feeling was coming back. I had to blink back tears. He didn’t see them. “It’s not a waste.”

“You can’t pay bills with books Addison.”

“Maybe I could.” I defended.

“Doubtful.” The fight that had been in me was rapidly leaving my body. I just wanted this argument to be over. I will not cry in front of him. I will not give him the satisfaction.

“Okay.” I muttered quietly. I looked at the clock on the stove. “I have to go or I’m going to be late.”

“Okay. Your mom and I have date night tonight.”

“I remember. Have fun.” In the car, I sat in the driveway for a couple of minutes and then shook my head. I had places to be.

End flashback

When I finished recounting my story, Montgomery came around to my side of the table. He sat down in the chair beside me and pulled me into his lap. It was only then that I realized I was shaking and that there were tears rolling down my face. He held me while I cried. I could feel him rubbing soothing circles on my back. I buried my face in his neck and cried. I was so tired of my dad making me feel small and unimportant. I didn’t want to deal with it anymore. But I knew there was nothing I could do. So, I had my feelings, and then just as Monty had argued that I do, I shut it off. I lifted my head from his neck and wiped away the remaining tears. He was looking at me with sad eyes. It was a look, it occurred to me, that I had probably given him-and Justin- countless times before.

“And it’s not just with school. He just… doesn’t really like me, I guess. Or maybe he does. But he doesn’t know how to show it? I don’t know.”

“Why didn’t you say something before?”

“I don’t know. It’s not a big deal to me. I’m used to it.” Montgomery sighed. We could both tell that this was just going to go around in circles.

“Okay. But you shouldn’t have to be used to it.”

“I know. But that isn’t my reality. So, I’ll live with it.” I shrugged and got up to get myself a glass of water.

“Talk to me next time?”

“Okay.” Maybe.

Monty walked over to me and kissed my neck softly. I smiled a little. After I put my cup down, he picked me up suddenly. I gasped and laughed in shock. “What are you doing?” He didn’t reply. I shrugged, not having any energy to fight his grip, as he carried me over to the couch. He plopped me down on the couch. There was a particularly evil smirk on his face when he sat down and turned to me. I gave him a confused frown. Then it happened. He started tickling me. I gasped again and started giggling and screeching uncontrollably. I was grinning at him and panting by the time he stopped.

“Feel better now?”

“Yes. Does this mean I can tickle you when you’re upset?”

“No. I’m not ticklish.” Sure. I’ll find the ticklish spot. It might take a while. But I’ll find it.

[uomo-accattivante]

This is a great article about how The Card Counter managed to finish principal photography after getting shut down mid-March due to COVID-19.

Also, it includes this interesting description from Paul Schrader about Oscar Isaac’s character, William Tell -- “So now I have a character and he’s in his room, he’s alone. And he has a mask on. And the mask he wears is a professional poker player. And the problem that runs alongside him is that he is a former torturer for the U.S. government. So it’s a mix of the World Series of Poker and Abu Ghraib.”

Having somehow weathered his way from enfant terrible to wizened survivor, Paul Schrader is a filmmaker who is simply not finished yet. Every time it might seem his career is on the wane, he resets, revitalizes and comes back again.

Just a few years after his 2014 film “Dying of the Light” starring Nicolas Cage was taken away from him by financiers — leading Schrader to disavow the movie — he received his first Oscar nomination (for original screenplay) after directing “First Reformed,” which was released in 2018 and starred Ethan Hawke as a troubled small-town minister.

Schrader’s work is marked by emotional intensity, intellectual vitality and an aesthete’s appreciation of style. His filmography is full of unusual corners that are still being discovered. The 1979 film “Old Boyfriends,” directed by Joan Tewkesbury with a screenplay by Schrader and his brother Leonard, was recently rereleased on home video. As was the 1990 film “The Comfort of Strangers,” directed by Schrader from a screenplay by Harold Pinter.

He’s been directing films from his own scripts since 1978’s “Blue Collar” starring Richard Pryor, Harvey Keitel and Yaphet Kotto. He went on to write and direct such films as “Hardcore,” “American Gigolo,” “Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters,” “Light Sleeper” and “Affliction.” His celebrated work as a screenwriter for director Martin Scorsese includes “Taxi Driver,” “Raging Bull,” “The Last Temptation of Christ” and “Bringing Out the Dead.”

Never one to shy from controversy onscreen or off, he directed Lindsay Lohan in the 2013 Hollywood-set thriller “The Canyons,” written by Bret Easton Ellis.

In March, Schrader was about three-quarters through the shoot for his next film, “The Card Counter,” in Mississippi — with a cast that includes Oscar Isaac, Tiffany Haddish, Tye Sheridan and Willem Dafoe — when the production was shut down due to the growing pandemic. In July, Schrader was able to shoot for an additional five days to complete production.

During the break in shooting, “The Card Counter” was picked up for distribution by Focus Features.

Schrader recently got on the phone to talk about the unusual circumstances of the film’s production and completion. A film critic before he became a filmmaker, Schrader not only had startling insights into his work, but also thoughts about what filmmaking and exhibition might be like in a post-COVID world.

Before we start talking about the production on the movie, could you just describe the story? What is “The Card Counter” about?

Well, I don’t want to get too deeply involved in the plot, but what I will say is over the years I’ve kind of developed my own little genre of films. And they usually involve a man alone in a room, wearing a mask, and the mask is his occupation. So it could be a taxi driver, a drug dealer, a gigolo, a reverend, whatever. And I take that character and run it alongside a larger problem, personal or social. It could be debilitating loneliness like in “Taxi Driver.” It could be a midlife crisis like in “Light Sleeper.” It could be an environmental crisis like in “First Reformed.”

So now I have a character and he’s in his room, he’s alone. And he has a mask on. And the mask he wears is a professional poker player. And the problem that runs alongside him is that he is a former torturer for the U.S. government. So it’s a mix of the World Series of Poker and Abu Ghraib.

How did you come to put those two things together?

I’m always looking for that. I’m looking for deep-seated problems, either personal or societal, and some kind of oddball metaphor. The more you get closer, you run these two wires next to each other, the more sparks you see flying across. And it’s in the sparks that the viewer comes alive. If the wires ever touch, there’s nothing left for the viewer to do. But if you keep these two wires really close to each other, the viewer will start to spark from one wire to the other. And that’s the greatest thing you can give a viewer or a reader, an opportunity to be part of the creation.

Let’s talk about the production and everything you’ve been through. Take me back to March. What was it like for you when the production had to shut down?

I have learned in my dotage how to make a quality film on a low budget. So the film I used to make in 40 days I now make in 20. And so “First Reformed” was 20. I had shot in Biloxi 15 days. Now I knew coronavirus was going to be rising, because when I heard that Macau shut down, I said, you know, it’s just a matter of time. Macau is the wealthiest gambling center in the world and I’m here in the gambling center of the Gulf. If Macau shuts down, it’ll reach Vegas, it’ll reach here. And we were doing a scene, a poker tournament with 500 extras. And I remember I said to the A.D., “We can’t put 500 people in a room without one of them being positive.” And sure enough, one of them was. Two days later, we not only closed down, all of the Gulf was closed down.

Fortunately, when I went back, I had shot my big crowd scenes. And also I had shot my sex scenes, which I would have hated to try to do under these restrictions. So all I had left when I went back was a number of scenes in the prisons, and four more scenes in the casinos, some driving scenes. So I was in pretty good shape. But I really wanted to finish the film.

And Oscar Isaac, he was on his way to Hungary to do reshoots for “Dune.” And he wanted to put off this reshoot till after “Dune” — to do it in September because he has a big beard and he didn’t want to shave off his beard. I said to him, “Oscar, there’s a window open right now in Mississippi.” I said, “If we don’t jump into this window while it’s open, this will become one of those famous films that never got finished, and we’ve got to exploit this moment.”

So I talked him off the ledge and he agreed to do it. And we were able to put everybody back together and do our week of prep and five days of shooting. It was very strange, and in a way it was kind of fun, in a summer camp sort of way. But I would hate, hate to make a whole film this way. It was an adventure for five days, it’s a nightmare for five weeks.

In the break from March to July, were you on high alert that you could come back at any moment? Were you editing the footage you already had?

Here’s what happened. I was editing. My editor is in New Jersey and my assistant editor is in Tennessee, so we’re all editing virtually. And I had four major dialogue scenes between my principal characters that I had not shot. Then I was able to screen virtually the film for a number of people I respect, like Scorsese, who is the executive producer, like [filmmaker and programmer] Kent Jones and other people. And what I asked them all is, “I have four more scenes to shoot. I can rewrite them. What am I missing? What do I need to add? How should I write these four scenes?”

And I started getting feedback about what they felt was missing. So I was able to rewrite these scenes and make these relationships much better. And not all productions get to do that. It’s a very expensive reshoot, but it was built-in that three-quarters of the way through, I have an opportunity to rewrite one-quarter of the meaningful character scenes. So I did, I rewrote it. And I realized what was missing. And I wouldn’t have realized that if I was shooting at the top. I would have only realized that in post. And I would have walked around the room kicking myself in the ass, saying, “I wish I had the opportunity to reshoot some scenes.”

How was getting everything back together?

As soon as Mississippi allowed us to come back, we came back. And of course nobody’s working, so everybody’s eager to come back. They are hyper-conscientious because they know they are only being allowed to work by the grace of God. And so the masks and the PPE and the hands and the distancing, you don’t need to tell any of the people this. They’re so happy to be at work. They have no problem with any of that.

You can only have one person within six feet of your actor at a time. That person could be hair, it could be makeup, it could be props, it can be the director, it could be another actor. And you kind of queue up. And a thing that I realized, we had a warehouse. So we did rehearsals for every scene in this warehouse. And I told the actors that when we get to the location, to the casino, the prop people will be in there, the lighting people will be there and then you will walk there with your mask on, and you will take the positions that you took in rehearsal. Then I will roll camera and you will take your masks off and we’ll play the scenes. So that’s how we did it.

Given everything that it takes to get to shooting, once you were back on set with the actors, did you still feel like they could give you the performances that you needed? Was it difficult to get to a place of artistic creation given all the other concerns that everyone has?

Because they had done the rehearsals, they had gone through the permutations of their performances before. So the only thing different for them was that they were in a real space rather than a fake space. As I explained to them, there would be no time for exploration on set. All the exploration you are going to do, we’re going to do here in the warehouse. I don’t want to hear one peep from you about changing anything once we get into this hothouse environment. So however many hours we have to spend in the warehouse, let’s spend it.

How close to finished are you with the movie now, considering you had a lot of it already cut together?

Basically, I’m finished, down to an hour and 49 minutes, which is where I think it should be. Obviously, I have to do the score, there’s the post-prod and the special effects, but the thing is that there’s no pressure to finish the film anymore at this time. I was talking to Focus, and I could give them the film in a month. They don’t want the film in a month because they don’t know what to do with it in a month. They said, you just take whatever time you need, which is the opposite of the way studios usually talk. I also have final cut, so it doesn’t really matter. What I deliver, I deliver.

When you made “The Canyons” you talked a lot about your feelings regarding the theatrical experience, VOD and streaming and contemporary filmmaking. What impact do you think the COVID shutdowns will have on movie theaters?

There’s a certain kind of film like “The Canyons,” which should be made for VOD, which is a kind of exploitation film. And there’s another kind of film like “First Reformed” that has to be mounted by film festivals and art-house cinemas, so that it has an identity prior to VOD. So if you’re on VOD and you see an Ethan Hawke film about a minister, you’re not going to say, “Oh, let’s watch that.” No, what you’re going to say is, “Oh, I heard about that film. I heard it was good.” Well, how did they hear it was good? They heard that from film festival reportage and they heard from their friends who have seen it at theaters. So that sets up VOD.

The opposite case is a film like “First Cow,” a film that was crushed by not having a theatrical window. And everybody is, “Should I watch ‘First Cow’?” They have no context. So what’s important for a film like “The Card Counter” is we have to give it context. We have to go to the festivals and we have to go to the art cinemas to tell people what we have in our hands. Then we can go to VOD, where the real money is. So “First Reformed” went to Telluride, Toronto, Venice and New York. That set the table. I would love to set the table for this one. I can go to all those festivals. That’s not a problem for me anymore. The problem is: Are festivals going to happen?

Do you think theaters are going to come back?

Not in the way they did. There are only four reasons for theaters to exist anymore. And this situation has accelerated these trends. Like symphonies and operas and live theater, concerts, they need a reason to exist. One reason is family cinema, because parents love to see their kids interacting with other kids. Animation films will always have an audience. Another is extraordinary spectacle. IMAX, virtual, whatever they come up with. Something you can’t see at home. The third is date movies for high schoolers, which is horror and rom-coms. Or rather, dirty rom-coms.

And then the fourth is club cinema. Which used to be called art cinema. But with these new institutions that are a combination of social institutions and cinematic institutions. So the Metrograph in New York has one restaurants and two bars. There’s more square footage devoted to eating and drinking than there is to watching movies. And yet it’s always full because people want to be in that environment. So then alcohol’s become the new popcorn. And those club cinemas, which were pioneered by Alamo, they will continue to exist because people want to be part of the club, people want to buy a membership. They want to eat and hang out, and they want to know which films have been approved by the club. Which is something you cannot get from VOD.

When “First Reformed” was coming out, you spoke about how you had made it thinking it could be your last film. And yet you seem so reenergized over the last few years. Do you feel that way? Have you been able to hit the reset button in some way?

Oddly, yes. I’m in the middle of a new script, which is about a horticulturalist. And what has happened in my case, following the disastrous situation I went through with “Dying of the Light,” I said, I would no longer work unless I had final cut. And once I got final cut, I was free. When I began, you didn’t really need final cut. When I was working in the studio system, all those other films, you were working with people who knew movies, who liked movies. Who you can talk to, you could disagree with — things would get changed, sometimes they’d get better, sometimes for worse in your mind, but you were working with people who liked movies, who watched movies. In the last 15 years, I’m dealing mainly with financiers, who not only don’t watch movies, don’t even particularly like them. And how can you have discussions with these people? And that’s what final cut freed me from, because I realized I couldn’t talk to these people. I wasn’t talking to [studio executives like] Barry Diller and Thom Mount and Ned Tanen anymore. I was talking to Joe Schmo from some hedge fund and I couldn’t talk to Joe Schmo. The only way I could talk to him was to have final cut.

I’m certainly excited to see what becomes of “The Card Counter.”

The new one is quite good. Focus told me not to hump it too much because that’s their job down the line. But you can take my word for it, it’s quite good.

###

[yhmisun]

*//𝒇𝒊𝒍𝒆: introducing 𝐘𝐄𝐎 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐔𝐍!

hi petals 🥰 i'm so thrilled to be here with you all and bringing you this gullible little lioness!i promise i'll get to all ims soon, but my alias is penny, my pronouns are she/her and i'm in the est tz! this is my bby misun - the very soft-spoken principal of kwangsook academy. despite the shady way she ended up with it, she quite loves her job, as well as all the students and faculty at kwangsook :D i will have her full bio up sometime soon, but for now, you can find some relevant links and some bullet points under the cut! if you'd like to plot something out, feel free to hit the heart so i know and i'll come buzz you in ims! tw - brief mentions of death cw - workplace affair

statistics. // bio. // headcanons. // plots. // musing blog. // pinterest.

━  ❖ (kim ahyoung “yura,” cis female, she/her) hey thank you for coming to town hall to update your information yeo misun! you’re a citizen correct? good to know! are you enjoying yourself around yunhwa? you’ve been staying here two years right? i’m glad! remind me, are you born on 14/12/1992? we’re so lucky to have someone so dedicated around as a principal at kwangsook academy even if sometimes you can be credulous. hope to see you around the house #3034, hwesakgu!

born and raised in busan, the city was imbued in misun's veins. she was in love with how the highest skyscrapers mingled with the clouds on overcast days and how life always seemed to be racing by. her childhood was a happy one, as she gained a younger brother and sister along the way.

her mother was a science teacher and her father a commercial fisherman at the local dock. it wasn't uncommon for him to be gone for weeks at a time in order to bring an income into the household, so misun was often left in charge of her younger siblings. it was something she thrived at honestly, as she'd always had this nurturing way about her. she didn't even argue with her siblings much, she mostly just played peacekeeper when they fought amongst themselves.

she ran through the typical cycle of dream occupations as any child would. she had a particularly tight grasp on astronomy for awhile, but she also always appreciated her mother's work in the field of education.

misun could be be rather mild-mannered, but she loved to run free in the yard, as if the fence that boxed it in existed in another realm entirely. as she grew older, she picked up several hobbies that always seemed to lend to a tranquil state of mind, as it was her favorite feeling in the world. painting and surfing were two of her favorite things to do, once she learned the basics of them. some of her most cherished memories of her father were the trips they took to the beach whenever he was home for the week so that he could see what she had learned for himself. she'd never forget the proud smile he wore.

[tw:death] she was fourteen when her father's boat sank in the korea strait, he and all of his crew being lost in the tragedy. they were at least able to hold a funeral for him; and misun always knew it was something that could happen in the logical side of her brain - but that was rarely the side she wanted to agree with. it was extremely hard on the family for his already too brief presence to have lessened to nothing, and it was years before any sense of normalcy was felt. [end tw]

it was fortunate that misun was so prone to being a parental figure in the household, as she was able to help her mother with her brother and sister while the woman grieved. it was simply in misun's nature to forego her own feelings to give another what they needed.

there was a desperate need for the lost income to be restored in some way, as her father had been the primary breadwinner for the family. her mother's salary as a teacher simply wasn't going to hold four people afloat in the city for very long. misun spent years juggling her workload in school along with working part-time, putting her all into not only bringing home good grades that her mom could be proud of, but helping to keep the family's bills paid, as well.

by the time she graduated, misun had excelled so much in her studies, that she was offered two different scholarships, both of which would have easily covered the expenses of attaining her degree, a miraculous offer for the family who had no way to afford college for any of the three children in it.

the college experience was everything misun had hoped for; a chance to better herself, find herself and take a bit of a break from the full workload she'd been carrying for so long. she still worked part time, so that she could slowly add to the college funds of her brother and sister while she attended school herself, but it was nice to have such a heavy focus on her studies.

she'd come to find that she wanted to go beyond teaching. she enjoyed the thought of administrative duties in the school system; fighting the good fight so that students could always have the help they needed to prosper. it wasn't just about filling their brains with meaningless facts they'd forget over a summer anymore - it was about making sure they had the tools to make it in life.

while she did receive some brief classroom training as a teacher in her initial transition, once misun got her master's degree, she was able to fill the position of principal at one of the schools in the city. she fell in love with it immediately, as it fit right in with her facilitating nature. she had a knack for keeping the peace around the school and making sure things ran smoothly so that all the teachers and other faculty could do their jobs properly.

she even had a positive working relationship with the local school board and her superiors, one of whom seemed to have taken quite a shine to her. he'd find any opportunity to speak with her, even about the silliest things. it was quite odd for misun to see him go back and forth from a very personable man to a very stuffy superintendent on an almost weekly basis, but there was definitely something charming about him.

before she really knew it, he'd swept misun off her feet entirely. suddenly they were sharing their lunch breaks at romantic cafes and making excuses to see each other during inconvenient times. misun always saw the best in people, and the things she saw in him made her feel love on an intense plane. she felt special with him; wanted. she might have said he'd broken down all her barriers, if she'd ever bothered to put them up.

as sweet as the feelings were, she supposed she knew the relationship was inappropriate considering that he was practically her boss. still, she didn't want to let go of the happiness she felt, and that she thought he had felt to.

it wasn't long before he informed her of his suspicions that some of his co-workers had an inkling he was having an affair with one of the school faculty members in the area. he seemed to know it was only a matter of time before the truth would come out, so he would cover his tracks. he would make sure no one ever found out.

initially, they were only meant to 'cool things off' a bit so that the suspicion would die down. admittedly, if word got out about them, misun knew it would be quite the scandal, and he may have to step down from his position. it seemed like the logical thing to do to lay low for awhile.

she didn't see the next part coming, though; apparently it had been decided that she would take the hit entirely, in order to save them both. her superintendent had crafted the brilliant plan to transfer her to kwangsook academy out in the small town of yunhwa and away from the city that she'd always known and loved. she wouldn't have to worry, he'd told her. the job was all but hers after the glowing recommendation he gave her. 'thank goodness, right? now you won't have to face any humiliation.'

she was confused, hurt and more angry than she had ever been in her life. as lovely as yunhwa was, it wasn't her home back in busan. it wasn't her school district. why was it her life that had been uprooted, and hers alone? was he suffering any undesired changes in his life in the city? did he even care at all that she was gone?

still though, misun's resilience remained steadfast, even after her heart was broken. as bitter as she was about the forced move, she'd been given a job to do, and she was going to going to do it right. getting used to the small town lifestyle has been a major adjustment for her, but she's not really one to complain about her circumstances.

two years on, and she remains in yunhwa, functioning as the head of kwangsook academy. as lost as she'd felt initially, she's come to fit in at the school at last. she's a rather amicable person who gets along well with the other teachers and staff members. she's always willing to lend a helping hand when it's needed, and is extremely dedicated to making sure the school has everything it needs in the way of funding, materials, healthy lunches and meaningful extracurriculars. as unassuming as misun can be sometimes, she's very protective of her students!

[pascalls]

Hi! I'd love to learn more about Charlie 😊 I've seen you mention that he was an employee of Burns' - what happened to him for him to become a hybrid? I'm also really interested to know how that affected his personality, and his outlook on things, and whether the way people interact with him has changed since. And has he always lived in Springfield? Apologies if that's too many questions (I really love learning about people's OCs 😊)!

You’ve presented me with an opportunity to go into the lore of my OC and now you have NO ESCAPE. WATCH OUT THIS IS GONNA BE LONG.

Charlie has always lived in Springfield, most likely, and is the result of wealthy parents having absolutely no interest in their own child beyond using him as a bargaining chip, attempting to marry him off to another marginally wealthy family so that they can combine wealth and continue to be rich bitches. He was arranged to marry the daughter of the other family, but unfortunately, he’s primarily gay (he has some women exceptions to the rule, but they’re few and far in between). So an arranged marriage would’ve been miserable and terrible. In an attempt to prepare himself for married life, he has a one-night stand with a woman named Carla who accidentally births a little boy, affectionately named Connor. 

Charlie wants to be present for the boy, but urges Carla to keep his parenthood a secret. Their general incompatibility, Charlie’s pre-arranged commitment, and Carla’s eventual disgust for Charlie’s homosexual tendencies keep her from allowing Charlie to truly act as a parent, though she doesn’t waste time in dropping the child off for days at a time for him to look after. Connor grows up knowing his father, but he isn’t very empowered by his mother. As a result, Connor is a bit of a fearful and quiet kid and both Charlie and Carla are at odds. Charlie considered fighting for custody, but did not, for fear that it would throw his whole arranged marriage deal into chaos. Connor remained a secret from Charlie’s parents throughout his childhood.

He got a job at the plant in his thirties so he could at least attempt to learn some sort of independence before being married off (and perhaps learn how to be a provider for Connor without relying on his own parents’ wealth), but with a penchant for numbers, he just ended up being another pencil pushing accountant. Faced with depression, lack of guidance in his own life, his inability to see his son on the regular, and being enormously closeted, he sort of just lived day by day. (Of course, there were some experiments, like his VERY brief one night stand with a particular lawyer, but that ended in a bitter, catty rivalry that carries on to the day.) 

Anyway, my guess is that Burns had it in mind to use some of the plant workers as an attempt to harness the radioactivity that just kind of FLOATS around there to combine animal DNA with human DNA and create super-workers that would be much more efficient and trainable, but would complain less about health benefits. Charlie was just the unlucky first pick for guinea pig. He disappeared at the plant for several weeks while his genetic code got all sorts of messed up and only escaped with the help of the other idiot plant workers that didn’t do their due diligence at locking up the section of the plant that Burns had him tucked away in. But now he looked like a horrible mutant - in his opinion - and he holed up in somewhere in the woods until nightfall. 

Once night came around - it was raining too, which didn’t help - he made a break for it to try and hide out somewhere in the town. Unfortunately, a certain reverend decided to accidentally plow into Charlie with his car and had to drag him home to his basement because 1) he couldn’t tell the cops that he’d just killed someone, if Charlie ended up dead 2) this thing isn’t human. When Charlie eventually came to in Lovejoy’s basement, he decided that this was the opportunity he had to live a new life. Be someone entirely different (though why he didn’t change his name is his own particular brand of stupidity, but luckily, Burns’ little pet project was soon forgotten by the man himself and Smithers is reluctant to give Charlie away because he’s not that invested). 

So he let his hair grow, let himself be more open about his sexuality, and took up smoking and drinking (and a number of drugs to cope with the trauma of having your entire body changed without your consent), and now is the over-the-top, sometimes wildly inappropriate gay lizard you now see today, though he still does his best for his son, whose mother is only marginally aware of anything that happens in town. His parents were told that he had died in a tragic accident and seem to be just fine with that. They’ve not made any attempts to find him themselves and his previously arranged fiance found another man to wed.

BUT HIS NEW LIFE IS STILL NOT WITHOUT ITS STRUGGLES. He falls in love with the stupid sardonic nature of Reverend Lovejoy and constantly works to undermine the man’s religion (though he’s marginally careful about boundaries, i.e.: he would never disparage Helen, nor would he take it upon himself to sabotage their marriage), but he’s relatively unsuccessful. He falls deeper and deeper, further complicating things when he dons a hokey Halloween costume so he can go out and live a life free of persecution because of his non-human nature. He takes on the role of a new-age plague doctor (despite knowing next to nothing about medicine), and gets a job at Springfield Elementary as the school nurse (despite not having any credentials, but who does). 

He regularly attends church - just for the sake of being present in town - and finds an enemy in Ned Flanders who takes up far too much of Lovejoy’s time for Charlie’s envious nature to be satisfied with - and bounces wildly between pining for a man he can’t have and trying to keep himself from constantly throwing hands with Flanders (who has a suspicion that Charlie is some kind of demon presence put on Earth to turn the reverend away from God, which incidentally, might not be that inaccurate). 

Most people in Springfield never knew his name before, and thus don’t make the connection between who he is now and who he was before, but he is careful with divulging too much personal information to anyone. Despite that, he regularly explores intimacy with other men because of his desire to be appreciated, loved, and doted on (which he is most certainly not getting from Lovejoy), including several nights spent with Smithers who becomes a bit of a confidante. On that note, while he does his best to maintain his secret, there are a number of people who know that he is not human, including Marge (a mother-figure to him, despite them being the same age, but she gives him good advice), Lisa (because she isn’t dumb), Superintendent Chalmers and Principal Skinner (both involved in some shenanigans that need a lot more context to get into lmaoo), and eventually, Sam the barfly. 

As he is now, Charlie is constantly looking for some kind of reassurance in the form of affection, but is increasingly frustrated by Lovejoy’s insistence that there is nothing between them, despite evidence to the contrary and heavily influenced by the man’s (and his own internalized) apparent homophobia. (I made an animatic with them several weeks ago and it very much embodies their dynamic.) He buries himself in drinking and drugs to chase away his feeling of inadequacy and his fears of being a good parent, as well as his realization that his parents never truly cared, how he is slated to be relatively alone for the rest of his life, and the fear that he will never be normal again. But he combats this deep depression with his over-the-top personality, at times, and his smarmy, self-absorbed facade of confidence that would shatter if anyone poked a little too hard at it.

AND THAT’S WHERE HE IS NOW.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

[k7l4d4]

Midnight Striga: Fairy Tail/Owl House Cross Fic Episode 3 Part 4

Hello, once again, to Midnight Striga, by yours truly! Everybody Clap Your Hands!!

Skara nervously ground her teeth against each other. A bad habit, really. One she constantly tried to break, and keep others from discovering. It was honestly something of a miracle that no one had figured it out already. These mundane thoughts did nothing to distract her from what was occurring not even four feet away; Boscha, a truly frightening grin on her face, holding a quivering Demon student by the neck of his hood. “H-hey, Boscha? Maybe we should head to lunch first, you know? I mean, it’s not like this guy is going anywhere.” Skara cringed at how obvious she sounded. Luckily, it looked like Boscha bought it. For now.

“Hmm… yeah, I could eat.” Boscha casually answered, heedless of her tightening grip on the poor Demon’s neck, as well as his increasingly urgent struggling, releasing exactly one second after he stopped moving, dropping him to the floor in an unconscious heap. It was all Skara could do not to visibly shudder at the sight. Violence was a common sight around the Isles, but that level of coldness and cruelty was usually reserved for the bitterest of enemies; it wasn’t meant for some random kid who didn’t apologize fast enough for bumping into you!! 

‘Don’t think about Skara. Tuck it away, and don’t think about it. Boscha’s your friend, you look out for each other.’ She kept repeating the mantra, unsure of how much she believed it. ‘Just don’t think about it.’

Aloud, Skara replied. “That’s great! And hey, maybe afterwards, you, me and Amity can hit the town for a bit. You know, have a little fun?” She nudged her elbow against Boscha’s ribs, hoping the playful gesture would get a laugh, or a frown, or just ANY reaction other than that creepy, blank passiveness she’d had for the past few days, when she wasn’t brutalizing some Demon that is. ‘Don’t think about it.’ What Skara didn’t expect, however, was for Boscha to lift her off the ground by the front of her uniform, and bodily SLAM her against the wall!

“Don’t. Do that. Again.” Boscha growled out. Skara whimpered, barely getting out a confirmation, the pain in her back throbbing from the blow. As Skara slid down to the floor, the few members of their clique nearby watched in stunned horror. Then, to Skara’s morbid shock, Boscha’s face blanked out, cleared, and then shifted into confusion. “Why are you hanging out on the floor? Come on, let’s go eat.” Skara barely held back the tears threatening to break loose.

Shakily pulling herself to her feet, Skara did her best to enter her usual stride, following in Boscha’s footsteps. She willfully ignored the frantic whispers kicking up behind her. ‘Don’t think about it.’

Amity marched down the halls, dead set on finding Principal Bump. Surely he had some kind of answer to this!? Willow cheated. That was the only possible answer. Willow had no talent, it was an established fact throughout Hexside. That feat back in class was impossible! Gritting her teeth, Amity carefully pushed back her anger, letting her features smooth into their usual blank indifference. She wasn’t entirely successful, however, as her eyes were still narrowed, and her jaw had a harsher set than usual to it.

As she marched, she thought back to Willow’s claim. Advice. How cute. As if Advice was enough to generate such an explosive increase in skill. If that was the case, she’d be in the Emperor’s Coven by now!

As she muttered bitter things to herself, she brushed by some of the girls Boscha, and by extension herself, hung out with. They attempted to grab her attention, with one even trying to physically grab her. A glare and a few choice words sent them scurrying. She’d probably have to deal with that later. What a bother. As she rounded the corner, she spotted Willow, that kid she hung out with these days, Augustus, a new girl, and… Principal Bump!? There was no way in the Titan’s name she was letting this fly!!

As Luz and Bump traveled the halls, she wondered just what, exactly, he had in mind. She had caught a glimpse in his eyes, the look of someone who had just hatched a plan, and was very good at keeping it tucked away inside. Still, whatever it was, she could at least take comfort in the fact that it probably wasn’t harmful, or at the very least wasn’t fatal.

“Oh, LUZ! OVER HERE!!”

Turning her head in the sound of the shout, Luz caught sight of Willow standing some feet away, a vibrating younger boy standing next to her.

Bump shot her a wry glance. “I feel as though that is the student you were talking about, correct.”

Luz smirked. “Got it in one, sir.”

As the two strolled over, Luz saw Willow tense up, most definitely because of the authority figure by her side. Luz was not expecting the kid she was with to rush her, shoving his face uncomfortably close to her own.

“Oh, my Titan, A REAL LIVE HUMAN!!” The kid squealed, literally squealed!, in delight. “IS IT TRUE RAIN DOESN’T BOIL IN YOUR WORLD WHERE ARE YOUR GILLS HAVE YOU EVER EATEN MEAT RAW ARE YOU CAPABLE OF EXPELLING VENOM FROM GLANDS STORED IN YOUR NECK MEH MEH MEH MEH MEH MEH!!!!”

“Whoa!” Luz shouted, easing the kid back. “Personal space please.”

Bump gave a tired smile at the boy. “Hmm… I should’ve expected that reaction from young Augustus here.” At Luz’s questioning look, he elaborated. “Young Augustus is the head of Hexside’s Human Appreciation Society. Out of every being in this school, his knowledge is the least flawed.” Say what you will about his teaching style, but Bump was very much willing to admit to having gaps in his knowledge and understanding.

“Augustus, eh?” Luz grinned. “I think I’ll call you Gus. Easier for me to remember.”

“Gus? Gus!” The now christened “Gus” started shouting. “A human nickname!” He whirled towards Willow. “Gus! Call me it! Gus! Yes!”

Luz gave a confused smile to a tired-looking Willow. “He’s certainly hyper.”

Willow sighed. “Yeah, but he’s a great guy when you get to know him, and he’s stuck by me through everything.”

As heartwarming as this was, Bump knew now was the best point to head things off. “Ahem.”

As Willow and Gus refocused on the sight of their Principal, both snapped to attention. “”Principal Bump!””

“Oh, calm down children. Now, Miss Park, if I recall correctly, you are in the Abomination Track.” At her sullen nod, her expression gave Bump all the confirmation he needed. “My associate,” he gestured to a smirking Luz, “has informed me that your skills are being underutilized in your current class and that you wish to transfer.” He bent down slightly, giving Willow a better look at his face, and him a better look at hers. “Is this true?”

Willow hesitated for a moment, but at an encouraging glance from Luz, and a thumbs up from Gus, steeled herself. “More than anything sir. I just… I really REALLY hate being in Abominations.” She clutched her uniform, slightly embarrassed at the admittance.

Bump gave a warm chuckle. “Don’t fret. As your Principal, one of my duties is to see that all my students reach their full potential, and to see that they enjoy their learning.” The bright grins from the three youths elicited another laugh from him. “Now, let’s see what you can do, and then see what I can do, shall we?”

Willow’s eyes gleamed with excitement. “Oh Absolut-”

“Principal Bump!”

All present turned to see Amity striding their way, an irate expression on her face. As she pulled closer, she stopped herself, and pointed at Willow. “Willow Park cheated on her Abominations Project today!” The sheer certainty of her statement, and the boiling anger in her voice, sent the group rocking back.

“”WHAT!?”” The synched shouts of Willow and Luz rattled the windows.

Bump frowned, his earlier joy draining away. “Miss Blight, I hope you understand the severity of your accusation. This is not something to be made lightly.” He warned, hoping this wouldn’t escalate.

“Trust me sir, I am fully aware.” Amity stated, having rallied enough of her temper to present herself in a calmer manner. “Willow presented an Abomination today in class that was far beyond any prior recorded demonstration of skill, a jump far beyond what could be attributed to typical practice.”

“What!? Amity, that’s crazy, I didn’t cheat!” Willow cried, shocked and hurt at the accusation.

“Yeah,” Luz leapt in, more than willing to defend the girl. “I even saw her practice it myself!”

Amity gave Luz a flat look, before fixing her gaze on her ears. “I wouldn’t expect a human to get it,” she stated condescendingly, “but Willow has none of the skill needed to produce an Abomination of that caliber, such as it was.”

“Amity, I’m telling the truth, I just practiced!” Willow insisted.

“Practice doesn’t just magically erase years of incompetency, Park!” Amity shot back.

Luz stepped forward, glaring down at the mint-haired girl. “Don’t you dare call her incompetent, kid.” She snarled, fed up with the brat’s attitude. “I was the one who gave her the advice she needed to make that Abomination, and I watched her practice to get it just right. Don’t talk about things you don’t really understand.”

“Gave her the advice?” Amity murmured, before her face split into a nasty grin. “Oh, so you're the one who helped her cheat.”

“Cheat!?” Luz shouted.

“Of course.” Amity waved dismissively. “Willow always did like playing with plants, so it makes sense now how it turned out. She just slathered some vines in Abomination Goop and stored them in her pot. Of course,” she arched an eyebrow, somehow not quite concealing the anger in her eyes, “I never thought a human would understand the value of hard work anyway.”

“You...You!” Luz fumed ready to throttle the girl in front of her, but…

“I…”

The group turned to Willow, the tiles beneath her feet shuddering.

“Didn’t.”

Her eyes started glowing.

“CHEAT!!!”

With a scream of rage, a massive collection of vines ripped out from the ground, slamming Amity painfully against the far wall, a rough crack echoing from the landing. Panting for breath, eyes still burning with rage, Willow glanced down at her hands, looked back at Amity, and her eyes widened in horror. With a yell, tears streaming, Willow tore off down the hall, Gus rushing after her in worry.

Before she headed off to join them, Luz stomped over to Amity, a book clutched in her hand. With a stormy frown, she threw it at the girl’s feet. Amity hesitantly picked it up. “What is-?”

“Those are Willow’s notes.” Luz flatly stated. “Take a look. I’m done wasting time here.” And with that said, Luz took off like a bullet down the same hall as Gus and Willow, dead set on helping her friend.

“Miss Blight, I am deeply disappointed in you.” Bump stated, hovering slightly to the side of Amity.

“Principal Bump!?” Amity gasped, having forgotten his presence on the excitement.

“Indeed.” Bump stated. His face was flat and stony, his temper almost peaked. “I have always held you in high regard, Miss Blight, due to your dedication, skill, and commitment.”

“T-Thank you, Sir.” Amity shakily grinned, only for it to be wiped away by his next words.

“I now see, that was a mistake.”

Amity stilled. “What?”

Bump tisked. “Amity, your actions did nothing but disgrace yourself, based on supposition and your own jealousy of another’s work. You didn’t even take the time to test the Abomination Pot, did you?” Amity reeled back as if struck; she hadn’t, she had just assumed.

Bump turned his tired eyes to her, shame burning in his gaze. “I am afraid that I will have no choice but to inform your parents of your recent conduct. I hope you will reflect on your actions, Miss Blight.” With that, he headed off to see to his other students, one of whom had just been provoked by the girl lying behind him.

Solemnly, uncomprehending of what had just occurred, Amity turned her gaze to the book the Human had thrown at her, Willow’s notes apparently. With nothing better to do, and her usual calm utterly shattered, Amity slowly opened the book. Inside were the notes, scribbled all about, and Amity’s eyes widened. Some of these were the same kinds of notes she had taken over the years; no, some of these were Better! If Willow had been studying this diligently, then how was she struggling? Was she really a Half-A-Witch at all? ...Was what happened between them all for nothing? Shakily rising to her feet, wincing slightly at the pain it brought to her back, Amity stumbled after the others. She needed answers.

If anyone saw Boscha in the moment, they would’ve assumed she was in a bad mood, what with the intense scowl on her face. They would be wrong. She wasn’t in a bad mood, as that would imply she cared enough to allow this situation to upset her. Her fist tightened around her jewel, the edges almost biting into her hand. As the sheep scurried around her, Boscha held in an eyeroll. Such blatant weakness might’ve been welcome before, but currently? It just served to annoy her.

“Ugh, if even just one more of these pests gets in my way, I swear I’m gonna lose it!” Boscha groaned, running a hand through her hair. “It’s like they don’t have anything better to do. Right Skara?” Boscha asked, turning to look at her closest follower (friend), who was oddly subdued, hanging farther back than usual. If she was being honest, it… irked Boscha to see one of her friends so weak.

Skara blinked, dazed. “Wha? Oh! Y-yeah, totally Boscha. Totally!” She chuckled nervously, lightly rubbing at her collar. Boscha gave an eye roll to that. Just what was up with her today? She was acting like Boscha was going to commit a murder or something! Seriously, the worst thing she had done lately is put some vermin in their place, that’s all.

Grumbling, Boscha soldiered on, all the while, that voice in the back of her head, screamed it’s message; she was here.

[ladyanput]

Dousing The Fire

Did I stay up until 1am writing this? I most certainly did. This is set just after Damian and Marinette left for their date in Chapter 2 of 'Seeing Green'

Alright, here's a warning for crude language, and tons and tons of Miraculous Salt. Enjoy.

~

At twenty-three years old, Evangeline Bourbon had seen her fair share of things. She had grown up with only her father, who spent more time down at the bar with his buddies, than raise his only child. Growing up around a drunk of a father, you learn not to put up with shit real fast.

He hadn't been abusive, he kept a stable job… He just seemed to prefer the bottle to being with his daughter, so she had been alone often. Evangeline grew up in Canada, in an Acadian town. She had kept good grades, she studied her ass off to learn French, and to complete her education degree, so that she could teach. She hoped her father would be proud then. But he simply went back to guzzling down his beer, as his friends around him drunkenly congratulated her.

So she moved to a different town, she had gotten a job at a Catholic school, as a TA, and a nun there had kindly suggested trying to go to France for a year, to strengthen her French. The lycée she had applied to  had been more than willing to bring her aboard.

Her first impression of Miss Caline Bustier was that she was a pretty, kind, and  very accepting woman. She had looked forward to learning from her, since she had been raised to stay with her original homeroom class, all the way up to their last year of school! She must have been such an amazing teacher!

How foolish she had been to believe that.

The class had not given a good first impression. As soon as the Canadian woman had said where she was from, Lila had perked up, then given her a wide smile.

"I'm very good friends with Monsieur Trudeau and his daughter, Elenore. She is such a little cutie pie, I'm like the big sister she's never had, so just adores me because she's an only child." She cooed, and the class around her praised her for knowing such a person as the Prime Minister of Canada, and going on about how handsome he was. Miss Bourbon merely raised an eyebrow.

"Mister Trudeau has three children, miss Rossi, and none of them are named Elenore." She crossed her arms, noting how Lila's green eyes narrowed in fury. Nothing had gone right after that, between her and the class. If she messed up on her French, they'd mock her. If she told Caline, she'd be told to grow up, that she's a teacher and needs to set an example.

Well she had almost taken that advice, until she had seen Marinette. Seen how isolated she was, seen how abandoned she was by her own friends. One look into those large blue eyes, void of light, and she had put her foot down. Now she'd do anything for Marinette, they had grown more into friends that a teacher's assistant and a student. And it made her very protective, especially when that boy from Wayne Enterprises has asked Mari out on a date.

Eva glanced out the elevator doors, smiling as she watched Marinette and Damian head towards the exit, eager for that first date. He seemed like a nice young man, and he had gotten the memo fast that if Mari got hurt, he'd find her shoe shoved when the sun don't shine.

When she got back to her room, she found Caline sitting on one of the beds, flipping through a magazine.

"The young man seems nice. I made sure he'd have Marinette back by nine thirty." Eva spoke as she went to her own bed, frowning as she was met in silence. She turned to the teacher, hands on her hips. "Caline, you could be a bit more concerned."

Miss Bustier glanced up, then gave her TA a patient smile, as if she were giving her the world with that one smile. Eva felt her blood pressure spike.

"Marinette will be just fine. There's no reason to be so concerned about her, she wanders off on her own all the time back in Paris. Honestly, Eva, you need to learn to not be so uptight about things." Caline shrugged and went back to her magazine.

"Yeah, but this isn't Paris, now is it? Might I remind you that we are in Gotham city? One of the crime capitals of America? Where a lot of people go missing and are never found? No, because that would take some actual fucking thinking in your part, now wouldn't it?" Eva snarled at her, as she took her dark hair out of its bun. Caline was on her feet in seconds, fury flaring in her eyes.

"You watch your tone with me. Why are you like this, so confrontational? You really need to stop being so confrontational, Miss Bourbon, or I think I will have to report you to the department of education." Caline took hold of Eva's arm, blinking in surprise as Eva began to laugh.

"Oh please, Caline, you don't have any fucking power in that school. I'm not one of your bullied students you can gaslight into being quiet and take the punches, until they want to die. Because that plan works so fucking well, it certainly worked with Chloe, didn't it?" She didn't miss Caline's flinch. "You didn't even do a head count this morning. I was nice enough to head out early this morning to Wayne Enterprises, to make sure they had everything set up for us, so that you could sleep in a bit and enjoy a class that no one fucking ever wants to teach, and you leave one of your students behind.

"You ever wonder why you were moved up a grade with that class of yours? Moved from Dupont to the lycée. While the department fed you bullshit about you being 'such and outstanding teacher, shaping the lives of many bright futures', in truth, no one wants to teach that fucking class. You have a class full of idiot assholes, who go and attack anyone who says that their precious Lila Rossi is lying, especially that Alya. They're like a bunch of rabid dogs that no one wants to touch, so they keep you with them. I think that's just making it worse, because you encourage this behaviour. Marinette is suffering, because her friends all believe Lila's lies, and you swallowed the bullshit about Lila having a condition that forces her to lie."

"Miss Bourbon, I know you have never seen Lila in the best of lights, but-"

"I nearly lost my job because of her! I nearly had the police on me, because she was spreading rumours that I slept with one of my male students back in Canada, got caught, and ran here to hide out. Thank fuck that the principal in the lycée isn't letting you suck his dick, like the one at DuPont, and had enough common sense to look into my job history. I taught at a girl's only prep school. And when this lie came to life, you didn't fucking punish her, you let it all stew!" Eva felt like tearing her hair out. Caline seemed scandalized, but it obviously wasn't clicking for her. "I'm not saying you're entirely to blame here. Lila's mother really needs to see through her daughter's lies. Alya really needs to learn to actually do resource checking, to hold back her pride, and take lessons on being a better friend, who doesn't toss her friend aside, because something shiny and new came along. Most of your class needs to really smarten up and get over themselves. They obviously believe these lies, because they don't want to admit they were wrong. Nobody likes appearing that they were wrong. But fuck, you need to get off of your high horse and be an actual teacher. Akumatizations happen all the time, they'll keep happening, because people get mad, they're human. But if you don't fix this, what will you do when Marinette finally gets akumatized?"

"Marinette? No, she'd never get akumatized. She is an example to her classmates, she's never even attracted an akuma, she.." Caline seemed shaken from all that had spewed from Eva's mouth. No, none of it could be true. She loved her class, she helped them thrive, helped them all become friends. She was a good teacher, Eva didn't know what she was talking about.

"You honestly believe that? Out of the entire class, only Marinette, Adrien, and myself have not been akumatized. I'm not worried about Adrien, he's so spineless, I doubt he'd ever actually get mad. But if you don't help me change this class, you're all going to push her towards that akumatization." Evangeline felt drained, taking a seat on her bed. She shook her head once more. "Please, Caline, before it's too late."

Caline Bustier was quiet for a long time, before she reached over and patted Eva on the head, similar to how one would pat a dog.

"Miss Bourbon, while I appreciate your… Passionate, though very inappropriate outburst, you don't know my students like I do. Marinette has been acting out for a few years now, obviously scared of this change in dynamic. But Lila can't help the disease she has, and Marinette needs to see through her. Some are just stubborn to change. And you must really work on that temper of yours before we get back to Paris. I wouldn't want you to get akumatized." Caline smiled that kind smile she always wore.

"Oh fuck you. You know what? Fine! I'm not wasting my breath in you anymore, I'm getting a drink!"  Eva got to her feet, grabbing her purse as she stormed out of the hotel room and back to the elevator. Why? Why did everyone in that stupid class have to be so blind and stubborn? 

Once the elevator doors slid shut, she leaned back against the wall, and took a deep, shaky breath, tears flooding her eyes, but she didn't once let them fall. 

She just didn't care anymore about the class. If any of them finally saw through the lies, she'd go to bat for those kids, just like she did for Mari. But for now, she'd wash her hands of them. Why try putting out a fire that Miss Bustier kept dousing with fuel, afterall?

[itsclydebitches]

So I'm curious what are some character designs you love? Not from RWBY, but just i general. I'm the same anon who got you to check out Berserk and I'd say essentially all of the designs are done damn well. Fit the character. Changes that makes sense for growth. Also make sense given the setting. Even women in armor that doesn't have those massive boob plates. Good designs impact so much subconsciously to have much we enjoy other aspects of a story.

Congratulations! You’ve unlocked my never-ending need to praise Yu Yu Hakusho! :D 

This long, picture-laden post needs two disclaimers going forward: 

I’m not an artist. In the sense that I’m not a visual artist who knows anything about what makes character design good from a technical/community approved standpoint. This is purely based on my own, personal reaction to a beloved series. 

Connected to that, I’m going into this under the assumption that people might really disagree with me (?). Based on the cartoons and anime that I see praised for character design, I don’t think YYH fits whatever list more knowledgeable viewers are pulling from. But I’m gonna lay out my thinking anyway! 

Major spoilers for Yu Yu Hakusho below. 

Alright let’s do this. 

First off, when people start talking character design they often reference how cool a character is. Which makes sense. You want a character to be visually engaging and distinct. Something that makes you go “Wow!” whenever you look at them. However, one of the things I love about the YYH cast is how normal they are. Because they’re supposed to be normal. The trope of the main character having a crazy hair color has become so prominent that we’ve got memes about it now and that works for a lot of stories. You know who is important because, despite the assumption that they’re average people not dying their hair, they stick out like a sore thumb among the rest of the cast. 

However, normalcy is a really important part of YYH. The entire point at the start is that Yusuke is not special. He’s not unique. He’s a delinquent kid who most assume isn’t going anywhere in life. When he dies this doesn’t unlock some Super Special Backstory - you were innately amazing all along! - he just gets caught up in the plot because of a paperwork issue. The afterlife doesn’t know what to do with an asshole kid who unexpectedly saved another kid’s life so they just kind of... shuffle him around until he’s given another chance to live. Then he gets to pay back that second chance by becoming a Spirit Detective. Yeah, Yusuke is talented when it comes to fighting and spirit energy, but at the start that’s rarely emphasized outside of “He’s the best street fighter among no-name street fighters so really, it’s not impressive once you take Yusuke out of his tiny world of school parking lots and the occasional alleyway.” The takeaway is that he’s a dime-a-dozen troubled teen who got involved in the spirit world due to an impulsive act and a bunch of bureaucracy. Indeed, it’s a HUGE moment of emotional growth for Yusuke to realize that people do love him despite his supposedly average, unremarkable, and otherwise negative personality. His normal-ness - and others’ expectation that he could someday make himself great if he learns to work at it - is crucial to where Yusuke starts out. Making him visually distinct in terms of Anime Protagonist Looks would undermine a lot of that. This isn’t supposed to be a Super Special Kid Destined For Greatness. He’s just... a kid. A normal kid. A kid who has to work and learn and grow if he wants to make something of himself. So he gets black hair, brown yes, and a green school uniform. He’s pretty damn average looking. 

Same with Kuwabara. Same with Keiko. Same with Atsuko. They’re just normal people going about their lives and I always appreciated that they looked the part. You can still easily tell them apart thanks to different hair colors, texture, jaw lines, and outfits, but none of them seem out of place in the average world they start out in. Which, as said, is crucial to a lot of YYH’s themes. The ones who look more visually distinct - Hiei and Botan - aren’t human. It makes sense that they wouldn’t obey these same average laws of the rest of the cast and they are our first taste of a world that, in terms of character design, will eventually get pretty wonderfully weird. They function as stepping stones. 

This eventually becomes a story about the demon world and those demons wouldn’t come across as particularly scary/other if you begin the story with equally strange looking humans. Or even just “I don’t see people who look like that walking down the street” humans. Alongside many themes, there’s a contrast at work here. Yusuke stepping out into a stadium full of demons who despise him because of his species hits home when he is so clearly distinct from them. Suddenly, his normal is abnormal. 

Once the ball gets rolling, Yusuke’s looks are constantly in contrast with both his environment and his inner self. He looks like a scary thug but then unexpectedly saves a life. He looks like an average human but is actually the strongest among a group of scary-looking demons. He looks like this badass spirit detective who everyone assumes with have an equally badass spirit beast but, uh... 

Oh my god that’s a precious baby. By the time our cast is family and everyone accepts that Yusuke looks scarier than he actually is or ever was - once the core group is made up of not just humans but demon loving humans who are equally soft - we turn it all on its head again and reveal that Yusuke has demon blood. For the first time he looks as strange and powerful as he is. Yusuke’s normality is done away with the second he’s fully accepted his place in these worlds, throwing everything back into chaos. 

Yusuke’s demon form becomes even more foreign looking  when he’s being controlled by his ancestral father. The above is a Yusuke who is still Yusuke and in many respects the design reflects that: natural hair color, human body, tattoos easily covered up with a shirt. When he’s gone full Mazoku though, something dangerous, the white, wilder hair and change to his expressions ensure we read him as something feral. For the first time in the series Yusuke is truly the dangerous creature he’s pretended to be since his principal was running after him at school. 

As a side-note about character costumes, we see this emphasis on normality in their outfits as well. Obviously a story like RWBY is limited by how much time/money they have for animation, but it nevertheless has an impact to see the group almost constantly in their battle gear. They’re never not the main characters of an action-fantasy show, not even while just out around town with no expectation of entering a fight.  

In contrast, Yusuke and Kuwabara are often animated in everyday clothing that remind us that they’re really just teens trying to live their lives outside of this crazy nonsense. Kuwabara wasn’t even formally hired for all this! The cast wears sweaters and jackets while out and about. More formal clothes for special occasions. Jeans and t-shirts when they’re unexpectedly caught up in a fight because, you know, they’re not ready for battle every second of every day. They’re drawn like normal folks because, outside of the ring, they are. 

(We’ve also got a lot of parallels between Yusuke and Kuwabara’s civilian clothing, visually reminding us that they’re far more alike than they might be willing to admit.)

Despite often changing outfits, the group maintains a basic color pallet that makes them recognizable, yet it’s also not so limited that they appear strange for sticking to one (1) color for the entire time we know them. Yusuke, like most people, is drawn to particular colors, mostly greens, yellows, and blues, so each time we see him he’s familiar while also being distinct from the last time he changed. 

Hiei, as someone who initially wants nothing to do with anyone else and relies on assassin-like speed to take out his enemies, is dressed almost entirely in black. Without that bit of white in his scarf/hair you’d lose him in the shadows... which is the point. 

When he opens up and actually becomes friends with the team, his color pallet starts opening up a great deal too.  

And we’re shown all the little changes he starts incorporating that speak to his growth: his Jagan eye, a bandaged arm hiding his Dragon of the Darkness Flame, the necklace connecting him to Yukina. 

I’ve blathered on about the outfits enough but as a quick final note: EVERYONE WEARS APPROPRIATE FIGHTING CLOTHES. 

No one (even the women to my recollection) wear heels. Everything is loose-fitted and looks easy to move in. They’ve got sensible belts, bandages if they need them, and... that’s it. No unnecessary bells and whistles that distract from what’s supposed to be the story’s real draw: good fights and good characterization. Even the more elaborately styled characters (usually) look like they chose their outfits practically first and for the aesthetic after. At no point do I recall watching this show and going, “WHY would you wear that to a fight??” 

Anyway, back to the designs. 

The exceptions to either side of these extremes - from human normal to demon monstrous - are Genkai and Kurama, both of whom straddle the line. Genkai is someone who has pushed her spirit and body far past the norm. She’s the first human we meet who truly goes beyond that normality, even if you don’t immediately realize it. Her pink hair (such a soft color in her old age it’s not at all distracting) is a slight hint that something isn’t quite right with her. She’s obviously human... but not a normal human. Not anymore. 

Those unnatural looks are emphasized in her youth when she was at the height of her power. 

Genkai as a young woman has vibrantly pink hair (a bright pastel like Botan’s), a softer face, and far more emotive eyes. She looks ethereal, which fits not just her own journey to power but Togoru’s as well. Her story is intimately tied up in what that power does to the human body/soul. So Toguro starts out like this 

a pretty normal looking guy who is on the far end of what the human body is naturally capable of. He’s buff as hell, but not so much that it looks unreasonable. I’ve seen body builders bigger than him. He’s the average (dehydrated...) MCU superhero. However, he ends up like this

In Togoru’s case his abnormality is explicitly presented as grotesque. Rather than giving him a cool looking characteristic that’s clearly supernatural (blue hair, an extra eye, curly horns, etc.), we’ve taken a human characteristic (muscles) and expanded them to an unnatural degree. He’s got some uncanny valley shit going on. 

Paralleling Genkai, we likewise see Kurama subtly standing out among his human allies. 

He’s a demon in a human’s body. By in-world logic his appearance should be just as normal as anyone else’s, but a bit of his true nature shines through. His hair is long in a style not popular in YYH’s Japan. His red is far less of a natural shade than Kuwabara’s. He carries himself with the air of someone who is ancient, because he is. His human design deliberately reflects his true demon form so when that’s finally revealed we still recognize him as Kurama. 

(Same sort of work with Hiei’s demon form.) 

When we look at the cast together we have an immediate, visual impression as to who is normal and who is not - and those assumptions are embedded into the story. Yusuke is someone you’d overlook in the crowd, but he’s the most powerful. Kurama is clearly other in some way, but he’s desperate to live an average, human life. Kuwabara is designed to look and move like the fool and a lot of his development (his and others’ in relation to him, really. Like Hiei) is built around respecting him despite those looks. Hiei is tiny but will kick your ass. Genkai is tinier and will kick your ass worse. 

Her size combined with her age - combined with her status as Yusuke’s teacher - is a continuous reminder not to judge power by looks alone. Don’t underestimate your opponent and get overconfident (a major flaw of Yusuke’s). Know that you still have a LOT to learn about the world. That woman you assume is just a rude grandma? She’s going to break your expectations over and over and over again. 

Speaking of size, that’s a major aspect of Koenma’s design as well. When Yusuke learns he’s meeting the head of the underworld he starts picturing a massive, demonic beast who (sensing a theme here) looks the part of a supernatural ruler. Seeing Koenma for the first time - an adorable toddler-like being - is an absolute shock. 

It’s a gag for the audience, but it’s not just a gag. Due to his looks Yusuke is unable to take Koenma seriously, despite knowing the power he holds. 

Which, even more-so than arrogance, is Yusuke’s greatest flaw throughout the series. He doesn’t take school seriously. His death seriously. Ruler of the underworld seriously. His teacher seriously, etc. Yusuke constantly acts like he doesn’t care, throwing basic respect and effort in the face of whatever authority figure is desperately trying to keep him from self-destructing. He’s on the receiving end of multiple speeches throughout the series (mostly from Genkai) that boil down to, “Care about something, dammit. Take this seriously!” and when he does it’s GREAT. It’s a moment of growth we’ve really built to in a hundred different ways, including how he reacts to others’ looks. Koenma’s design feeds directly into the primary flaw Yusuke is working to overcome. How will he go from a delinquent laughing in the face of the most powerful being to someone multiple worlds can put their trust in? Design assists with that. 

When Yusuke does respect Koenma (even if he still insults/teases him because that’s just an ingrained part of Yusuke’s personality) Koenma’s appearance can change. It’s no longer serving its original function, so he evolves into a very good looking young man (with references to Tuxedo Mask to emphasize those good looks) that just... happens to still carry a pacifier. 

A pacifier that is revealed as an incredibly powerful weapon that will help save the world. Again: don’t judge anyone or anything solely on their looks. They’re never precisely what you’d assume they are based on your first glance - with the exception of minor villains whose looks serve only to convey their villainy: 

For everyone else, looks are complex. Two of the most different looking characters (color-wise anyway) are actually siblings, their contrasts reflecting both differing cultures and the emotional distance between them. 

The scariest looking monsters are just paper-pushers. It’s the handsome humans you should watch out for.  

And this is our hero, a man charged with protecting three worlds. 

I could say SO MUCH MORE but this is already disgustingly long so basically YYH (I think) does a great job of: 

Crafting characters that are distinct but not different for the sake of different. They always feel like they belong to their individual worlds and adhere to whatever “normal” is by those standards. 

Tying character looks really closely to the show’s themes and individual growth. Which, frankly, is something I think all good character design should do. 

It’s not nearly as flashy as other anime... but YYH knows what it wants to accomplish and went about it beautifully. Catch me still weeping over this show fifty years from now. 

Peace ✌️

[loquaciousquark]

I hope you're doing well! I know you posted about a stressful situation last month, and I hope it's resolved itself. Sending good wishes you you and Hamlet!

Thank you so very much for checking in on me! I really do appreciate it. An update to that post under the cut.

Carol, who moved in with me on May 28, is still here. Right now, we have set a tentative move-out goal of the first or second week of August, but this is pending an apartment application that she hopes to finalize on Monday and a job situation that is a complete mess.

Basically, according to my limited understanding, Carol is licensed to teach in Florida. Alabama has a reciprocity clause with Florida, but it must be applied for. Carol has recently begun this process, but her teaching license(s?) is (are?) set to expire in December unless she passes certain exams. She’s already passed one for...general middle and high school teaching, I think, but failed a math exam. She has an art history exam Monday afternoon and expects to pass. I hope so, because she’s been doing nothing but watching Netflix and shopping for houses for the last few days in her new 2017 Jeep Cherokee.

I remain unspeakably grateful to my parents for teaching me financial literacy, because until I witnessed Carol’s decision-making, I had no idea how hard it was for some people to not spend money unwisely. 

As a reminder, Carol is dead broke. She has $153,000 in debt across student loans, medical bills, Czech and US taxes, and some personal loans she would like to repay to friends for helping her. She is unemployed and has no support from her family and has relied on couch surfing at friends’ and acquaintances’ homes since last summer for housing. Since moving in with me, she has been trying to find somewhere to live that would accept her with all her debt and her nonexistent US employment history for the last ten years. Based on what she’s said, I think she has about $9k in the bank--or did, until last week.

In short, she needs a car, a job, and a home, and as far as I can tell she doesn’t care which order they come in.

Two weeks ago, she was offered a position in a rural town about 30 minutes from where I live. It’s a small, very country town which desperately needs a special education teacher, something I think Carol really does have a passion for. However, because she hasn’t finished the reciprocity licensure application yet, they’re having a lot of roadblocks with her paperwork, compounded by the fact that when she left Prague last year, she left all her important documentation behind: things like her birth certificate, her social security card, and her letters of recommendation, which for some reason she did not have electronic backups of. The principal has been trying to get what she needs from Carol for two weeks. Carol is constantly saying that things are “in process” but has nothing to show for it.

As far as we can tell, the job is still hers, but the school year starts August 13th and she still hasn’t been approved by the Board of Education because the paperwork is still not finished on her end. She did not attempt to replace her birth certificate or social security card until they needed it for the application. (Her friend in Prague--and I am beginning to realize she uses the word “friend” for anyone she’s met longer than sixty seconds), who frantically packed up all her belongings when she realized she would not be able to go back to the city, cannot ship her belongings or go through them for the important paperwork until next summer, as she and her husband are currently vacationing in Rome for a year.

Carol decided last night she is also going to apply for some online Department of Defense position--I didn’t understand the details and don’t really want to know, except that it’s also teaching and some administration. We’ll see how it works out. She is growing increasingly annoyed at the principal’s requests for paperwork completion, which baffles me.

So, job: shrug? Maybe?

Car next, then, but this whole mess also goes back to the financial literacy thing. My parents have always been extremely frugal (pennywise, as my dad would say), and from childhood they made it very clear to us to not buy things you couldn’t afford. They’ve never had a car payment in my memory, and they paid off their house about ten years ago. This means they drove a lot of junkers for a very long time, and for a very long time we had very few vacations, but now they’re fully financially stable and debt-free and my mom has a car that she drove off the lot brand new that they paid cash in hand for. 

If I had been in Carol’s situation, I would have found a cheap, mostly reliable used car that probably wasn’t going to explode on me and drive that as long as I could while saving up for housing. I did in fact drive her to look at several used cars, most of which would have been even outside my expected budget (hers, as it happens, is larger even than that, because one of her overseas friends was willing to contribute $5000 to the cost of a vehicle). (I paid $6500 for my current car, a 2004, in college in 2012 with 70,000 miles on it at the time, and have driven it ever since.)

She rejected all of them because they did not have good “energy” and “feelings.” One she was willing to buy at $3700, but told the seller to go pay for his own inspection (once I explained to her what mechanical inspections were as a concept), so they ghosted her. She also is extremely afraid of head gasket failure--I don’t know why, since she knows nothing about cars--and has assumed all vehicles she has driven are on the verge of it, so after the first week she refused to even look at a vehicle without a warranty.

This means she exclusively limited herself to used dealership options, which I’m just going to come right out and say was monumentally stupid. I don’t know if any car dealers follow me, so I’m sorry if I am misperceiving this, but in my experience almost every dealer I’ve gone to has been aggressive, manipulative, and extremely predatory in their interest rates. I cannot think of a riskier course of action in abject debt than to try to cut a deal with a car dealer for the sake of a warranty I doubt will cover that much truly expensive failure in the long run anyway.

On Thursday, Carol bought a $20,000 2017 Jeep Cherokee from a dealership down the road. I don’t know what she put down. I do know she did not use her friend’s money (why not??) and I know her interest rate on the car loan is 4%, which she is extremely proud of and which horrifies me. She also “persuaded” them into a limited warranty that will cover the vehicle up to 100,000 miles (currently at 42k, and they ~only offer it for cars under 40,000 miles~). I can’t tell you how bad an idea I think all this is.

Thursday night, as she was regaling me with stories of her negotiating prowess, she also tells me she has decided to buy a house. She’s sick of renting, and somehow, someone somewhere managed to get her approved for up to $120,000 in a home loan. She already has $150k in debt, another $20k from the car, and now wants to buy a house. She was delighted that she could make the minimum 7% down payment, even though it would wipe out every cent she has left and leave her less than $500 to her name for moving expenses, utilities, food, title registration, etc. afterwards.

She doesn’t even have a secure job yet.

However, this plan seems to have fallen through. She went out with a realtor several times this weekend and came home the last time in great, heaving sobs, because she can’t find the 3bed 2bath she wanted in her price range. (For reference, most homes in this area go between 200k - 250k right now for 2-3bed 2ba, and the closer you get to the city--I have about a 20 minute commute--the higher it gets. My next door neighbor sold her 3bed 2.5ba for >300k three months ago, and Carol knew this.) She was absolutely devastated that the only things in her range were “tiny little ugly flipped houses” and “the ghetto.” The realtor basically said she wasn’t going to waste any more of her time. Carol repeatedly told me how grateful I should be that I got in at the price point I did a few years back, because no “normal people” could ever afford to break into the market again.

I tried to tell her that it was because I lived in with a roommate in very cheap housing and then a cell of a 1bed 1ba apartment for eight years while I saved money, but if nothing else, I’ve learned I’m not allowed to compare our situations or histories or offer advice of any kind except “go ahead and buy what you want,” because that only makes her cry harder. In the end, she has decided to give up on the house for now and settle for the absolute last thing in the world she wanted, an apartment with a lease.

To be honest, until she has a signed contract in hand, I half-expect this lease to fall through as well. I have tried to offer what I think is sensible advice and been ignored or rebuffed. I have tried to offer a sympathetic ear and ended up with her sobbing uncontrollably on me--heaving, body-wracking sobs--over and over again with me trapped in my own home, providing endless emotional support for a girl I don’t even like. I have tried to encourage her to do the things she wants to do, since she’s going to do them anyway, and when she gets “negative energy” after the purchases (buyer’s remorse, I think, that one little inkling of sense saying maybe it wasn’t a great idea to buy a $20,000 car or an $1100 brand new iPhone without a job), she blames it on the exact thing I said I thought might be good and makes me feel like I have now directly contributed to a negative outcome after poor decision-making.

For the record, when she says these things to me she is not saying, and has never said, them directly at me. She has never blamed me in any way for a negative outcome. She is not consciously trying to manipulate me or abuse me or take advantage of my help. She has never once asked me for money or job connections or for me to use any of my stability to unfairly or unethically get her something she needs. She is just completely absorbed in her own (rightfully absorbing) mess of a situation, and I think just completely unaware of how much of an emotional black hole she has become. There are no problems except her problems. There are no needs except her needs, and everyone around her has to understand how hard she has it at all times. 

So, we’ll see. I am praying that the apartment works out next week. The owner seems to want to work with her, which is a hopeful sign. Good thoughts would be appreciated.

--

Aside from all of this, work has gotten extremely complicated. I’m not going to go into all of it now, but one of my jobs is to create an extremely detailed schedule for students in clinic. This is used to schedule patients in each service--if we have this many students, we can have this many patient slots per half-day, etc. Last week, two students were out unexpectedly, one who broke her arm the day before she was supposed to begin, and one who had a terrible anxiety attack and thought the symptoms were actually COVID. That student was tested and cleared negative, but Student Health requires a two-week quarantine anyway, so she was not allowed to return.

This meant that we now had multiple patients per day with no one to see them. We tried to reschedule as many as we could, but we still ended up with multiple overbooks. This is extremely stressful for me as both a provider, an instructor, and a human being who hates having other people wait on her in a professional capacity. We got through the week, but not without several painful bumps, and it’s looking like there will be more soon.

I also woke up to an email this morning that one of my favorite students (yes, I have favorites, I’m sorry), had a completely unexpected death in the immediate family and had to rush home. This is a very, very sweet, very smart girl who has worked unbelievably hard over the past year to do well in this program and in my courses, and I am just devastated for her. One of her friends is willing to cover her clinic, so the impact will be minimal on that side, but to have this happen during this country’s hellhole handling of this pandemic...I can’t even imagine it.

All of this isn’t even touching COVID. The President’s side has won in that sense--I don’t even register the numbers anymore--but as of last week our dean sent out messaging that implied that with our state’s failure to contain the spread, new discussions were going to be happening soon regarding our August start. We already had committed to full hybrid scheduling: all lectures online, in-person labs only where absolutely necessary to continue advancement in the program, and those labs limited to two per room with full PPE, but if they decide even that can’t happen, I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do. I cannot make competent doctors over Zoom. I can’t. At some point they have to touch other people and look at other people’s eyes. They have to be able to check real, in-person blood pressure. They have to look at genuine eye movements and ocular surfaces in person and I cannot and will not let them enter clinic until they have the practice and the time and the practicals behind them. I fucking refuse to endanger the public for sixty years because someone in an office somewhere decided a timetable is more important than a patient keeping their ability to see, and I’m ready to fight administration on this if they try to push it.

But if I win the fight, what next? They just...don’t enter clinic next year. They don’t enter my program. I don’t know what they do in the meantime, as this lab meets four mornings a week and the lecture twice. The course is delayed until next year or whenever we have the virus under control again, and suddenly my fall semester sure looks like I’ll be being paid to stay at home and count carpet fibers. I don’t think they’ll fire me--no one else wants to teach my course anyway--but if I win this fight I might put myself right into furlough in the process.

I could be borrowing trouble, I know. They could come back and say that after review, our system and safety protocols (all extremely conservative) are indeed safe enough and we can proceed as we want. They could say that our limited in-person option for lectures (we have several gigantic lecture halls that could easily socially distance) is the only thing that needs to go. They could say that we just need to have smaller lab groups--hellish on me, but doable.

But it’s one more element of stress in my life that I just can’t handle worrying about right now, which is why I’ve been bouncing back and forth between random fics and oneshots (that mermaid one was feverishly written on a single evening Carol spent at her mom’s house) and pouring an ungodly amount of hours into Animal Crossing. At least there I have some control over what happens next.

Sorry, guys. I know this is not the happy update I was hoping for. I’ll try to check in again next month and we’ll see where things end up.