adhd-chaos-queen

[adhd-chaos-queen]

Having ADHD is like owning a house, but there are 50 uninvited guests and they won't leave or behave:

-They talk loudly and turn on the TV and radio on full volume.

-They don't take off their shoes, leaving mud anywhere.

-They mix up your cleaned and dirty laundry.

-They take food out of your fridge but don't put it back.

-All your chargers have been fried in the microwave.

-Every single table and chair has been put upside down.

-All your shoes have been mixed up.

-They keep turning the lights on and off and occasionaly just steal a bulb.

-the computer is now in the bathtub.

-Everyone keeps opening the cupboards, grabbing stuff and then leaving them open. There is not a single clean fork left.

-There are several small fires, but they throw around the fire extingisher like it's a ball, always out of your reach.

-You beg them to leave you alone. They won't. You neighbor can't see them and says it's so easy to keep a house clean, you're just lazy and need to try harder.

The house is my brain...

[adhd-chaos-queen]

Me without my meds: can't get anything done at all, filled with anxiety and sef-hatred, but at least my stomach doesn't hurt and my heart doesn't do somersaults

Me with my meds: can get a tiny bit done, filled with even more anxiety and self-hatred (because why can I still not work the way I'd like to) , and my body is doing it's best to feel absolutley miserable

I can't win...

I just hope things will be better at my new job, because I hate the current one, and that probably plays a role...

Also, is there a correlation between ADHD meds and lack of certain vitamins?

I feel like this is more pronounced in Fall and Winter, so idk, do I need more Vitamin D?

[adhd-chaos-queen]

I just got a random question in my head and google was no help, so maybe science tumblr can help me...

So, to preface this, I have pretty pale skin and in some places you can see the veins.

Now I'm right handed, and you can see that the veins on my right wrist are thicker than the one on my left, so basically you would know what my dominant hand us by just looking at my wrist.

I was wondering if the same counted for brains. Like in a brain scan, MRI, CT and so on, could you see which is the dominant side? Are there more "squiggles" and therefore a visible proof?

In my case on the left because bodys are cross-wired?

Sorry if this is stupid, I just wanna know, and as I said, google wouldn't tell me...

[adhd-chaos-queen]

I was just feeling like all of my friends don't actually like me and I was getting sad, and also mad at myself for thinking that...

And then I realized that this is a regular occurence in Fall and I probably just need some more vitamin D, and also get some fresh air to ban the seasonal depression back where it belongs which is non-existence...

(Also the actual correct name for seasonal depression is "seasonal affective disorder" which means the acronym is literally "SAD" I don't even know what to say about that, but it made me snort for a sec)

[adhd-chaos-queen]

Soo, I'm still developing some characters and I really wanted to add an autistic side character. I have some ideas, but since I am personally not autistic, I'd like to ask someone who is a few questions, because I want to make it realistic.

If you feel comfortable answering a few questions and give me some tips, please message me.

Thank you in advance 😊

ADHD is developing the plot for an entire book while zoned out and daydreaming and then getting so immersed in it that you spend the next week developing characters, their traits, places, development, twists and turns and just hoping the creativity holds up and you'll get to finish it.

(I spend approx 5 hours making character moodboards today)

[adhd-chaos-queen]

ADHD is developing the plot for an entire book while zoned out and daydreaming and then getting so immersed in it that you spend the next week developing characters, their traits, places, development, twists and turns and just hoping the creativity holds up and you'll get to finish it.

(I spend approx 5 hours making character moodboards today)

[adhd-chaos-queen]

ADHD tip if you wanna get something done without your phone distracting you...

Set your phone up in a place overlooking your "workspace" and take a video of yourself in hyperlapse mode.

Looks really cool and keeps you (or me at least) from getting on the phone 'cause I don't wanna ruin the video. Also makes you keep going and not taking random breaks for the same reason...

Bonus points if you add the Phineas and Ferb building music in the backround afterwards, lemme tell you, it is hilarious and gave me such a good laugh 😅

[adhd-chaos-queen]

Honestly, this is freaking amazing! I love that costume and wish I had your talent!

So ADHDers, what is your most "obscure" hyperfixation (current or past) that came out of nowhere?

For me it's watching documentaries of plane crashes/emergancy landings on youtube. (But only the ones where everyone survives!)

The amount of stuff I could tell you about turbines, hydraulics, fuel, decompression and software already is concerning...

Now I wanna buy a flight simulator game for my laptop...

I have no clue where this sudden interest came from and thats what makes it so weird to me...

But now please tell me what your obscure hyperfixation is

[adhd-chaos-queen]

My birth year contains three 0's and thats the exact amount of motivation I get on most days...

[adhd-chaos-queen]

So ADHDers, what is your most "obscure" hyperfixation (current or past) that came out of nowhere?

For me it's watching documentaries of plane crashes/emergancy landings on youtube. (But only the ones where everyone survives!)

The amount of stuff I could tell you about turbines, hydraulics, fuel, decompression and software already is concerning...

Now I wanna buy a flight simulator game for my laptop...

I have no clue where this sudden interest came from and thats what makes it so weird to me...

But now please tell me what your obscure hyperfixation is

[adhd-chaos-queen]

Went to my GP today, 'cause I need a higher dose of my ADHD meds and they said they wouldn't perscribe it until i talked to a specialist... like, do know how long it takes to get an appointment?

I just wanna cry...

My meds are helping me, but it's not enough anymore.

It helps with sitting still and listening and taking notes, but it is not enough to focus and do more complex tasks.

It did for a while, but I'm all alone at work rn and it just get's too much and then I get overwhelmed and just stall which obviously makes things worse...

I feel like my brain is a car.

Lenme explain (also I'm european and will use kmh not mph)

My brain on a good day without meds can go like 40kmh

On a mediocore day it's like 20, and on a bad day it won't even start.

On hyperfocus with or without meds it's like 200... but thats rare

With my meds I can go from 70 to 100 depending on the circumstances.

But recently, even with meds it's been going just 60.

And since my brain knows it can do more but is currently unable to due to lack of resources I just get so frustrated.

And now basically my gas station told me I can't get the better gas my car needs until a mechanic looked under the hood.

I get where they're coming from, but I need a fast fix before it gets worse...

(Also I recently quit my job 'cause I hated it amd will start a new on, where I won't be alone anymore in December. But for these 3 Months I really need that extra help for my brain)

[adhd-chaos-queen]

Ah yes, it is once again time to listen to the same song on repeat until the music turns into goo and flows into the farthest corner of my brain to give it a little pat and scratch so it might shut up and let me experience peace for just a few minutes...

[adhd-chaos-queen]

Do you know these super random thoughts that make no sense shortly before you fall asleep?

Because last night it was this: "Dang it, I forgot to put my brain in the fridge... now it's gonna get moldy."

Like... WTF?

Although, my shit ADHD brain feels kinda moldy some days...

Still, I have no desire to stick my head into the fridge!

And I am very weirded out by my own thoughts...

[adhd-chaos-queen]

I'm a bunch of issues in a trenchcoat and I really don't like the way that said trenchcoat looks...

[adhd-chaos-queen]

Having ADHD and also being a people pleaser is a different kind of self torture...

I'm anxious all the time... even when I shouldn't be...

For example, I'll go on vaccation next week, but I already feel like I'm not gonna be able to really enjoy it, 'cause I'll be thinking about work... like, what If I forgot something and the substitute gets in trouble for -my- mistakes?

I wrote 5 pages of notes and infos down for him... Everything should be covered and all good.

But my brain keeps asking "what if..." and I really would like it to stop...

[adhd-chaos-queen]

ADHD move of the day:

Was late to leave for work (haha, clichee 🙄) and was rushing to get out.

Went down the stairs, and then in the hallway, almost out the door, realized I had forgotten something very cruical, because I had not put on my shoes...

And I stared down at my feet in socks with squirrels on them (again, haha clichee 🙄) and it took me a few seconds to realize what exactly was wrong...

So yeah... that was fun...

I feel very stupid now

[adhd-chaos-queen]

Hyperfocus can be scary...

Like, you do stuff and do some more and more and just like that hours have passed, you're tired and hungry and thirsty and really have to pee, and when you stand up you get dizzy and all your joints ache and you're like, 'how on earth did I not notice this?'

It's a really weird feeling...