#And the most Haha Unhinged or whatever the fuck

[misspickman]

How can u make a post talking about how fanon tim is so much more boring than the canon character and then be so fucking wrong about canon tim

[svtskneecaps]

friends and fiends if this truly spells the Over for the qsmp i may let the brainworms that have been festering in me for MONTHS--A YEAR, EVEN--win.

i may summarize the goddamn fucking lore.

[chiyana]

Tim tells the Batclan he's going on a space mission with Young Justice for a few weeks, he's got everything sorted civilian side and his cases and patrol routes covered, and also if any of his usual Rogue's Gallery suddenly comes looking for him don't worry about it.

And all of that is fine and normal - except that last part hey Tim what the fuck does that mean?

and Tim just goes it's fine don't worry about it anyway gotta go bye! and then he just bounces

and everything is fine until not even a day later when Babs forwards them a video Red Robin uploaded to his social medias that is a music video of him (Red Robin) seductively lip-syncing along to Chappell Roan's "My Kink is Karma" against a backdrop of fail compilation clips of several of the villains Tim has a particular grudge against, including Azrael, Lex Luthor, and most prominently Ra's al Ghul.

so there's Tim, in a form-fitting catsuit styled like his Red Robin costume, in heels, feeling himself up with a video clip in the background showing Ra's tripping on his own robes and face planting into the brickwork, evidence he dyes out some of the gray in his hair, his sash coming undone and pants falling off in the middle of a fight, trying to swipe the effects of a glitterbomb off of himself, etc.

It all ends with the Mean Girls clip of "why are you so obsessed with me?"

The video is immediately viral.

(There's some clips of Red Hood in there fucking up but Jason can't even be mad because he's laughing so hard he's gonna throw up)

Tim's Rogues absolutely DO show up to Gotham looking for him, and while they all want revenge, Red Robin is THEIR arch enemy like HELL are they going to work with these other embarrassments, so they all start fighting each other and it is absolutely CHAOS (Lex decides discretion is the better part of valor and makes a statement that no of course he has nothing against Red Robin he has no idea why he was included in that video haha yes of course it was Very Funny when a bird accidentally pooped on his head he is Very Capable of laughing at himself Thank You, and then he quietly goes to one of his vacation houses and moodily drinks for several days waiting for things to blow over)

Tim, meanwhile, is having a wonderful vacation with Young Justice, catching up with Lobo and Slobo, chasing down some space pirates, and just getting out of Gotham and away from his Rogues trying to challenge him/seduce him/kill him/whatever.

Bruce is taking the constant psychic damage of having the image of softcore Red Robin erotica burned into his brain along with the realization that way, way, WAY too many of Tim's Rogues want to sleep with him like an absolute champ. (Dick is not taking it like a champ, Dick is taking it like an unhinged vengeful wraith and has had to be benched for trying to tear out Ra's throat with his teeth.)

Stephanie is having the Time of Her Life. Damian cannot look anyone in the eye and absolutely cannot look Ra's (or his mother who ALSO showed up prominently in the video) in the face and is Not Having the Time of His Life.

(Jason is with Steph on this one, he is having SUCH a blast, this is so fucking hysterical)

[oxydiane]

sns is so fucking unhinged and nobody will ever be them i’m sorry. you start the series and it’s like oh haha look at these goofy angsty rivals! they hate each other! then sasuke dies for naruto thirty chapters in giving up his dream of revenge and naruto goes batshit insane. now you’re like ah they’re friends i guess that’s cute! and sasuke is trying to kill naruto because he’s the most important person in his life which is . ok and it becomes the driving force of everything or something. sasuke leaves and naruto dedicates the rest of his life to bringing him back and you’re still a casual fan so ur like he’s doing it for the promise right? then orochimaru says sasuke is his and naruto goes batshit insane feral homicidal (again) and after that sasuke reappears and they have ??? like five different panels dedicated to them staring at each other??? and he jumps off a mountain and hugs naruto for some reasons just to whisper some gay shit in his ear kishimoto frankly needs to be jailed drawing this and keep that best friend nonsense going. anyways. you have sasuke become a convicted terrorist to which the normal people response is “ok we need to hunt him down” and when naruto learns they’re gonna hunt him down he starts screaming crying throwing up he has a panic attack he can’t breathe he’s falling in the snow he gets on his knees and begs them to spare his BFF. after having a meltdown over the thought of sasuke dying what may possibly be the natural coping mechanism any stable person would adapt? of course realising that if sasuke dies he can die too. so he sees sasuke again and after he attempts murdering sakura twice and expresses the intent to murder kakashi he’s like. i will bear the burden of your hatred and die with you hehe and if we both die you won’t be an uchiha and i won’t be the jinchuuriki to the nine tails and we’ll be able to understand each other better in a different lifetime! WE’LL MEET AGAIN IN THE AFTERLIFE BECAUSE NOT EVEN DEATH CAN DO US PART! and sasuke (just as insane as him) doesn’t even flinch he’s like what the fuck is wrong with you but then ok let’s fuckingggf die together on my god i will kill your first anyways . then they find out they are soulmates and get cute matching tattoos on their hands and decide to fight to the death once more because sasuke is back on his i will shoulder all the hatred of the world alone and i need to kill you because i love you more than anyone else in the world actually you’re the only person i love so you need to DIE and naruto is like I WILL NOT LET YOU SHOULDER THAT HATRED ALONE I WILL FREE YOU FROM THE PAIN and they fight and despite all the whatever weapons used in the war it’s a fuckinggg fistfight in which just as sasuke is about to inflict what he thinks is the last blow says “farewell… my one and only…………………. (very long pause to accentuate how heteronormative this next word is gonna be) FRIEND” and fucking stops using his sharingan because not even then he can record the image of naruto dying especially by his hand but naruto STOPS HIM LIKE A f cHAMP and they end up blowing each other’s arms off (rip the matchies) and as they’re bleeding to the fucking death sasuke is like you’re the only person that has never tried to severe their ties with me why do you go so far for me and naruto from the depths of comphet hell is like because you’re my FRIEND and sasuke being absolutely done with this bullshit is like ok what the fuck does that mean to you then and this is where it gets even gayer and relatable because naruto is like i don’t KNOW i just know that when you hurt i hurt and i just can’t take it and isn’t that the most gay experience thing ever? naruto knows what it feels like to have friends but what he feels for sasuke is so bone deep and unconventional that he cannot make sense of it and can only describe the pain it brings. after that sasuke CRIES LIKE THEYVE GOT ME SOOO FUCKED UP but you know what got me even more fucked up?

naruto waking up bloodied and battered and half alive with one arm missing but still wondering if that was heaven because sasuke was next to him. sasuke looking so happy and peaceful when saying “i lost” as a stark contrast to him looking and feeling like half of his body was being torn apart when he “won” against naruto in vote1 and left him. the bitterness of victory vs the sweetness of losing if you will. AND HIM COMPARING WHAT HE FEELS FOR NARUTO TO PRAYING MY GODD. did i forget to mention that then we learn that Ohhh it was never a stupid shallow rivalry as we all thought! they have actually been watching each other from afar since they were little freshly traumatised children and have longed to hold each other’s hands since then! what was it sasukeeee you felt warm and fuzzy when you saw naruto to thought of it as a weakness? these two are so astronomically hopelessly desperately obsessed in love with each other it’s ridiculous i’ve had ENOUGH free me from this mental prison

[she-whatshername]

Good Mornings with the Marked Ones

AN: lolol buckle up for the Shadow father himself. And yes, NSFW below the cut. You've been advised.

Xaden:

Is he up before you: lolol around you? This man is always up. But yes, he does wake up before you and is stepping out of the showers by the time you open your eyes.

And he's staring at you like someone who hasn't eaten in days and you're an exquisite meal.

So, of course, you taunt his ass

Because if Xaden can keep your heart fluttering might as well return the favor.

"Morning darling." You purr at him, stretching ever so seductively so he has access to his favorite parts of you, "Mmm, you smell amazing. Come back in bed and let me take all of you in."

His face is stoic as ever but his eyes are flaring and internally he's screaming, "If I get back in that bed we're going to miss formation."

"Well be quick." You promise him.

"The things I want to do with you should only be done slowly."

...Fuck no matter how much you try to best him he's always a step ahead. Whatever, you're still getting what you want. And you have one secret tool in your arsenal to bring this man to his knees.

You pout your lips, "Aww, be a good boy Xaden and come take care of me, please?"

Game Over Shadow Man.

He's on you in an instant. And the only work you have to do is brace yourself for the best most unhinged morning sex of your life.

Its a hard job. but you carry the task with respect and honor.

Is he bringing anything to bed: If we're picturing this during the revolution then water at your bedside, some flowers if he has to leave to the front lines before you're awake. Sometimes he's a little cheeky and he'll put a textbook by your bedside table if you've got a test coming up

I do think he's a turndown service king. If he has to leave for something midday and will be gone overnight, the bed will be made and your side of the bed will be folded down with your nightgown nearby.

He just excels at little gifts like that

Are you late for formation: haha well surprisingly you're not but its a very...interesting formation for you. During your rather intense morning tryst Xaden had you on your back with your legs over his shoulder, stretching you not enough to hurt but to make every move he made ten times more pleasurable.

When you’re both finished he’s cuddling you you’re running your hands in his hair telling him how the powerful lieutenant and leader of the revolution was so good and took such good care of you.

He feeds off your affirmations. Never stop telling him he’s wonderful

You motion to get up mumbling about needing to clean up and take a quick shower before formation and he’s stopping you before you can get up

“Dont. Just get dressed. And when you’re standing in formation and you feel me sliding out of you and down your leg, I want you to look at me with those devastatingly beautiful eyes and nod once. Can you do that for me sweetheart?”

Oh fuck, yes we can sir.

And you do nod at him midway through the morning announcements and once again Xadens eyes are locked on to you and he’s giving a look of both hunger and pride.

Bodhis right next to him letting out a quiet sigh and chuckle, mumbling to Xaden that he’ll take over assigning squad duties so you two can get a room

[pianocat939]

Celina please with a cherry on top can I please request some HCs on Yandere Donnie x villain reader that likes to flirt with him ?

Why am I so happy when my name is used??? I literally hear it every day???

Enemies to lovers except make it unhinged and terrifying

Tw: stalking, implied kidnapping, MC gets tranquilized, Donnie you don't need to be like Mikey

Yandere D'Nello with Villain MC who Flirts a lot

I think his reaction can depend on what precisely the flirting is.

Like if it was your more typical romantic flirting, then his reaction is indifferent. He might act cocky/confident but isn't affected in a sense it is supposed to be.

However, if it's more praise/compliments (specifically over his gadgets or the intellectual aspects about him), he will be both happy and flustered.

If you're in the middle of a fight then it'll distract him slightly, unless you're like the Kraang or something that's offended him greatly before.

When he goes back to the lair, he'll immediately scour for information about you. Whether it's your past life or the list of crimes you've committed; in other words, he wants to know everything about you.

Over time, he'll try to purposefully bump into you somehow. Most likely from observing your habits through cameras/trackers/records. He wants to hear more, hear more of your words. Your lovely voice, the terrifying laugh, he wants to be consumed by your everything.

If his brothers are sane, then they'll obviously notice how he's antsy to go to the same place every night. So, like a normal person, they'll follow him and the sight they see makes them want to pluck their eyes out (except for Mikey).

Their brother, Donatello, the guy who is the most lucid of them all, is crushing over an enemy? With a friend, it would make sense but fighting someone every day to meet up with them? Quite the wonder.

Raph is going to rush in, defeat the villain then get Donnie out of there as quick as possible. Leo, could either go two ways, help Raph, or go up to Donnie and either laugh at him or question whatever the fuck he is doing.

Mikey just cheering Donnie on. He sees no wrong over him crushing over an enemy and plus it's not like he's any better with all the unhinged things he does on the regular.

During the fight, Donnie is going to ask questions about you and in general, try to get closer. Don't mind his brothers, continue your behaviour, please!

Let's say the next fight after his brothers fail to stop him, he meets you again. But this time, he holds a launcher. You obviously know it's a weapon so you keep an eye on it, already knowing its intentions.

Meanwhile, Donnie's grinning in joy. Finally, the day has come!

As you battle, he dodges your attacks, not attacking once. He just clutches the launcher and gets too close for comfort.

Unaware there's an opening for him, he launches his weapon, hitting right at your neck. What your thought was a bullet or rocket of some kind, turns out to be a tranquilizer.

Usually, it would take a few minutes for it to kick in, but with his engineering, it's much more potent. Within seconds you're becoming drowsy, your vision blurring.

And in the final moments your awake, he kneels in front of you (as you've fallen down because of the drugs) his obsessive thoughts leaking out.

"Hah...Haha. Fi-Finally, I can take you home and you can talk to me whenever! I can't wait to show you all the things I've made for you!"

——————————————————

Bro's parental issues...Like Splinter no need to give the Asian parent treatment.

- Celina

[aerodaltonimperial]

you have a lot of fics 😭 as someone new, what are your 5 fave junglecorpse fics (that you wrote)?

I DO HAVE A LOT OF FICS LMAOOOOOOOOO. that's... an understatement, probably. it's worth noting that probably 75% of the time, i was writing with canon. so my fics slot alongside whatever was happening AND, perhaps more importantly, whatever jack's current characterization was (in theory - I'm obviously not perfect with that haha). this means the earliest fics are gonna be pillars-related, the ones after that use jack's hollywood heel turn, and while he was out, most of the canon was referencing darby's feud with christian cage. that being said, the early ones are shaky, because i was finding my footing with both of them. full transparency, they are shaky lol.

in terms of favorites, i'm gonna be a real dick about this and use some 'verses/series, but only because i don't think you can really separate them lol:

💚🖤 - monsters [series]: i don't do a lot of full AUs (even most of my horror fics are canon compliant), and this is one of the few i did, and it's one of my most favorite things i've ever written, across all my fandoms. fandom does not agree, lol, but you asked for my faves and not fandom's faves, so it's on here first. if anyone asked me what fic showcased what i thought i can do as a writer, it's this series.

💚🖤 - we're coming out strong: aka the kayfabe fic! i pretty much never use jack's full jungle boy kayfabe, but i did it with this, and ended up really, really loving it! there's an unofficial official sequel and a redux jack's version (which is a whole different fic but is still using the JB kayfabe), but this was the first, and it holds a special place for me.

💚🖤 - a clear violation of the company code of ethics [series]: these started as a joke and got progressively more unhinged, but i think they are hilarious and have a great time writing them, plus i got to write corporate bucks, which was awesome.

💚🖤 - i may be bad (but i'm perfectly good at it) [series]: aka kink!verse. THIS MAY SURPRISE PEOPLE but i'm actually??? really proud??? of these??? i tackled some stuff i am already not confident about (smut) and combined it with things i am even less confident about (kink), and actually, i sort of love them lol.

💚🖤 -you could be all i've got (what's the difference): this one comes with HEAVY warnings on it. please pay attention to them!! this is a PTSD trauma fic, and it's heavy as shit. it's a lot. it's absolutely not for everyone. but i really fucking love this fic, and it means a lot to me. but seriously. watch the warnings.

and as a bonus, fandom's favorite fic of mine:

💚🖤 -[1] unread message: aka THE FUCKING ROM-COM. why are there so many hits on this???? why are there so many bookmarks??? WHY DID YOU ALL LOVE THE ROM-COM SO MUCH WHEN I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO WRITE ROM-COMS???? i cannot explain this, but this is like, one of my highest bookmarked fics lmao. this is by and away the clear favorite of my works, which i will never understand loooooool but that's fine, we'll go with it.

[genevawrenn]

Okay, I need to just say things about FitMC'S lore today cause my brain is whirling so this might not make complete sense.

First off; starting off with these two. I am assuming Madagio is hinting that he has let his guard down since forming relationships with people.

I am wondering what Madagio is insinuating with the whole showing Fit his friend's corpses than asking him if he is ready to do whatever is necessary.

I hate to manifest is but is he suggesting if the Federation is to fall he has to go through all his friends first?

As in kill them?

Is that truly worth it? Is Madagio using Fit for his own gain with destroying the Federation or is he forcing the Anarchist to do what he failed?

Earlier in the stream it was mentioned there was another island with cats [sounded like our Quesadilla Island's eggs] and I am wondering if something happened and Madagio merged with his cat friend leaving him powerless in a lot of senses. As a Federation Experiment is he like a code? Unable to fully rebel against those in charge but can manipulate those under him.

I just keep coming back to him showing the corpses and mentioning attachments, like is Madagio's intention to force him to kill Ramon? That's what fucking scares me. Especially after the cryptic message at the beginning of stream to the other parents online.

That is not FitMC at the wheel, at least not without influencing. He is one of the most protective parents of any and all eggs that come into his life.

He's only ever made these unhinged comments while he mentions being sleepy. I also wonder how much Madagio is going to mess with his mind *more* while left alone for two weeks.

In any case, absolute cinema, I have many more thoughts but I had to rant these out now. Please let me know if you have any more theories in the tags and replies, we have two weeks to connect the dots haha.

I could absolutely be wrong but the connections are lining up and I don't like the fact they are.

[bucking-mustangs-with-wings]

Hi,

for the nosy asks 25, 30 and 35 (whatever gender you prefer).

😘

25 ) My idea of a perfect date is honestly doing something I love with the person, finding whatever they love and are interested in, be it the movies, going out to a beautiful restaurant, even just a quiet night in. I want to show that person that I am generally interested in them, by incorporating the things they love into the activities and locations in any way I can. I'm a hopeless romantic, have a tattoo confirming that haha, and I will always go above and beyond for that person. A perfect date to me is making someone genuinely HAPPY.

30) What I hate most about work/school? I can tell you what I DID hate about school, as I'm currently unemployed due to personal reasons and restrictions. But the STUDYING. Studying of any kind would always leave me an anxious, overstimulated mess and would very often have to take breaks within 15 minutes or I would break down and just pretend it didn't exist. I later found out this was because I was on the spectrum, because if I was studying something I took GENUINE interest in I was FINE. No problems, but trying to take in information that I couldn't click with was just a NIGHTMARE.

35) I'll answer this as the "What am I most attracted to in men" and leave the female version of this question (36) when I'm asked it haha, because... men. What can I say about MEN.

Due to very traumatic pasts with EVERY single man i've had be a part of my life be it family or friend, it has left me with some very serious scars and atm I can't genuinely say what I find attractive in men and name it, but I know its still there deep down.

One thing I have noticed is that I tend to lean more towards blond haired blue eyed men, that trend has continued in the incredibly unhinged celebrity crush that is Austin fucking BUTLER in looks as well as personality. Ya wanna get a fair idea of what I find attractive in men? *holds up sign of austin's face and points* THIS.

Not just attractive visually (which is not a be all end all with me, as long as the guy is respectable and treats me right I dont CARE what they look like). But humble, respectable, down to earth and not a big meat head alpha male douche bag. Someone I can have genuine conversations with, that I can relate to and see the good side of them through any of the shyness or nervous tendencies.

GOOD MEN. GOOD FOOD. NUF SAID

[theheirofthesharingan]

hey, saw you were attacked by trolls again in THAT thread. Don't take their comments seriously because whatever others say I love to read your analysis of Itachi and his relationship with sasuke

tumblr has so many toxic people but you can always block them

Haha, thank you. I wasn't expecting to get support for that one, but thank you. It means so much.

And yes.. I'm very clear in how I perceive Itachi and Sasuke and their bonding. You're free to disagree with me (as I am with anyone) without getting offended. But I'm not changing my mind because a bunch or psychopaths chose to attack me, unprovoked.

I can't relate to the sentiment where people don't love either of the brothers or think they're "evil" and "horror". I've written so much about them and can't continue to repeat this in front of some blind idiots. Just fuck off if this is what you believe. You can have your opinion, but attacking someone using multiple Tumblr accounts for disagreeing with you makes you look crazy and desperate and psychopathic.

Umm, this person has blocked me apparently. Until recently I had no idea that she'd blocked me. But yes, you're totally right. Tumblr has some of the most unhinged idiots. If she hadn't blocked me I would have blocked her myself. Good riddance either way.

I have very little tolerance toward morons and toxic assholes. (I shouldn't be using these words but some people deserve them, lmao).

[lemonhemlock]

bg3 anon, answers under the cut for ease of scrolling! 🤝

Anonymous asked:

"you’re right. i think i’ll perhaps do it as a safety check because i don’t intend to be respectful of the bloodsucker twink lmao. i put him in a ridiculous looking outfit and it’s so hard to take him seriously AT ALL i’ll see how it goes. he’s currently leaving me on ‘Seen’ with an approval rating of 3" Darling (pun intended, sorry, couldn't help myself) it's going to be a problem starting his romance if you're still at 3 approval. I would suggest checking the BG3 wiki, it has most of his approvals and disapprovals listed so you could farm them, but that would be way too immersion breaking to be fair as it goes against the beauty of role playing, at least if you are the type who truly immerses oneself like I am...sometimes I can't bring myself doing things I personally want to do it in a game because it would go against the character I am playing...it's super weird lol.

If romancing him doesn't work out maybe you can go with Gale instead? Or why not maybe Shadowheart will grow on you haha By the way I don't know if I mentioned this but to successfully romance the bloodsucker, you need to sleep with him at least once in act 1. You can't start his romance later.

As for ridiculous looking outfits…here's a suggestion you may want to keep in mind: at the start of act 3 there's a circus where you can loot a clown outfit and buy clown makeup. I put everything on Gale personally because why not? However, sadly the only clown in this whole affair was myself considering I spent 5000 gold on making Astarion a fucking statue, which stayed in my camp for the remainder of act 3. And he didn't even comment on it!!! Well at least I didn't go for the naked version of it, but next time I'm definitely choosing to make a statue for my Tav lmao.

"well the wives are the reason i’ve started to play actually, as counter-productive as that sounds 😂 i have a friend who explained the lore to me, so i know most of astarion’s background and what happens with him, though i don’t remember details, of course. she told me how delulu they are in excusing every thing he does, even his insane decision to become the no 1 ascended vampire boss. how they deceive themselves into believing astarion becomes in love with them if they act like complete doormats and go along with whatever fuckass thing he wants, even if the 'detect thoughts’ option clearly indicates that he thinks badly of them :))"

I didn't want to mention the possible ascension because of spoilers but since you know a lot about him already thanks to your friend…yes, it's all true. The ascension wives are the most unhinged subsect of the Astarion fandom. If you let him do it he even becomes abusive if you are in a romance with him and you'll even have to agree to let him turn into his vampire spawn otherwise he'll break up with you (some of the wives 100% believe he turns you into his vampire bride, but obviously there is nothing in the game confirming this, on the contrary, the evidence is quite flimsy). The craziest thing is the wives think YOU are the abusive one for not letting him sacrifice 7000 souls (including children) in a diabolical ritual, a deal with a fucking archdevil in order to let him ascend, because how can you condemn pookie to a possible life without the sun while still feeling a vampire's hunger? They think you are robbing him of his own agency and infantilizing him. Not to mention that once you get rid of the tadpole, he won't even let you break up with him anymore. Like, at all. You have no choice anymore. He outright laughs at you and says "your future is mine to decide." Also, if you break up with him just before he's about to turn you into his spawn he admits he would've used your love for him against you until "you were nothing", that he appreciates you for doing this, saying he didn't think you had it in you (breaking up with him, that is). Oh and since you mentioned playing the game for meme potential, well, here you also have the option to kick him in the balls when he says "on your knees, darling" to your Tav, before he's about to transform them into a vampire. But be careful, he breaks up and leaves the party permanently after doing this to him lmfao (like any Real Man™ would).

But no, the wives won't hear any of this, in fact they blame you for only choosing the confrontational dialogue options and say that if you are nice to him, he doesn't turn abusive. What??? That's not how this works lmao.

Yes, he has all that power, glory and money if he ascends, but at what cost? He totally loses himself and any positive character growth he had is totally gone and nullified by the ascension. Like yeah he does push for ascending, but does he really need it? There is a difference between wanting something (for all the wrong reasons imho, he can be safe and free without doing this as his good ending proves it) and needing something and you as his friend or lover should know better rather than have him give in into his worst impulses. Tbh I think many of these wives genuinely believe that if he says he wants something, you have to do it because how can you deny your boyfriend this "but he said so!!!". Loving someone doesn't mean agreeing with them every single time, that's not how actual relationships work. That's not to say one can't enjoy toxic relationships in fiction, but that's not what these people are doing here, let's be real. He actually approves and genuinely thanks you if you talk him out of ascending, by the way. He says he was not himself back then when he was just about do it and although he did not appreciate it at the time, is now grateful for saving him from himself, that you saw and believed he is enough just way he is, that now he is "truly and honestly free". The game couldn't be more clear about this, the parallels, the foreshadowings are all there from the very beginning but everything completely flew over these people's heads. Sure, he gets sad when he loses the tadpole and can't be in the sun anymore but eventually he embraces the shadows (in a good way this time) and realizes he can be free and happy like this as well.

Did your friend mention the fact that the wives also harassed and stalked one one of his writers for calling this ending the bad one for him? Because they did this. (tbh personally I do think that writer unprofessional in how they expressed their opinion but they still didn't deserve to be harassed for it…and it's also not like the text itself doesn't confirm what they said).

I do feel bad for those who do like his evil ending for what it is without trying to whitewash it because they often end up catching strays thanks to the crazies, like people telling them they'll be abused in real life by their partners because they like this version of Astarion…which is not a nice thing to say to someone even online. On the other hand these wives claim they are genuine villain fuckers, that they love Astarion as evil as he can be, they also claim to love dark romances but then they totally dumb down the toxic elements of the relationship with him and turn it into uwuuu loving evil power couple. Come on…they genuinely insist his bad and evil ending is the GOOD one! Most characters have a good and evil or bad ending yet fans of other companions don't pretend the bad ones are secretly the good ones "for reasons" or "but they said so, they said they wanted it". I've yet to meet a Shadowheart fan who genuinely thinks her bad ending is in fact her good one, for example. Or a Lae'zel fan.

______________________________________________________________

Darling (pun intended, sorry, couldn't help myself) it's going to be a problem starting his romance if you're still at 3 approval.

i shot up to 28 now! 🤙 without basically doing anything evil, apart from letting him feed on Gandrel (but i kept him alive, at least) out of curiosity, i'm going to go back and see if that gained me any approval points or not

I would suggest checking the BG3 wiki, it has most of his approvals and disapprovals listed so you could farm them, but that would be way too immersion breaking to be fair as it goes against the beauty of role playing, at least if you are the type who truly immerses oneself like I am...sometimes I can't bring myself doing things I personally want to do it in a game because it would go against the character I am playing...it's super weird lol.

oh, i am so tempted, but i'm trying to maintain at least a semblance of unpredictability and candor! i totally get not wanting to do smth if the character would be against it

If romancing him doesn't work out maybe you can go with Gale instead? Or why not maybe Shadowheart will grow on you haha By the way I don't know if I mentioned this but to successfully romance the bloodsucker, you need to sleep with him at least once in act 1. You can't start his romance later.

good to know, soldier! 💪i am not refusing any of his (most likely) cringe sex proposals if i can get them 🤡

As for ridiculous looking outfits…here's a suggestion you may want to keep in mind: at the start of act 3 there's a circus where you can loot a clown outfit and buy clown makeup. I put everything on Gale personally because why not?

LOL i have a mod that gave me a clown outfit and i put it on shadowheart 😂 but gale sounds hilarious, too

However, sadly the only clown in this whole affair was myself considering I spent 5000 gold on making Astarion a fucking statue, which stayed in my camp for the remainder of act 3. And he didn't even comment on it!!! Well at least I didn't go for the naked version of it, but next time I'm definitely choosing to make a statue for my Tav lmao.

i was in tears when i read this :))))))))))))))))))) anon, i'm so sorry :)::):):)::):):):):) i can't imagine

i'm fine with letting astarion drain my blood, but i draw the line at spending so much money on his ungrateful arse 😂 priorities 😂

The ascension wives are the most unhinged subsect of the Astarion fandom.

the stories i've heard reveal such a fascinating level of delusion :)) like you said, not being able to accept the distinction between vampire spawn and vampire bride: he tells you (or least i chose that dialogue option) how one can become an actual, full-blown vampire and that no vampire would create a competitor! straight out of his mouth

Not to mention that once you get rid of the tadpole, he won't even let you break up with him anymore. Like, at all. You have no choice anymore. He outright laughs at you and says "your future is mine to decide." Also, if you break up with him just before he's about to turn you into his spawn he admits he would've used your love for him against you until "you were nothing", that he appreciates you for doing this, saying he didn't think you had it in you (breaking up with him, that is).

to think!! i would crawl straight into the depths of the mariana trench 😭 no way is this loser going to pull this level of insolence on mirta

Oh and since you mentioned playing the game for meme potential, well, here you also have the option to kick him in the balls when he says "on your knees, darling" to your Tav, before he's about to transform them into a vampire. But be careful, he breaks up and leaves the party permanently after doing this to him lmfao (like any Real Man™ would).

i puked a little in my mouth 💀

There is a difference between wanting something (for all the wrong reasons imho, he can be safe and free without doing this as his good ending proves it) and needing something and you as his friend or lover should know better rather than have him give in into his worst impulses.

yeah, that's what i was talking with my friend about, that you'd be out of your mind to accept for him to ascend. and, like you said, it would negate any kind of character growth he might have had until then. so far, my friend was able to talk him out of it and he was grateful, whereas my boyfriend didn't have a good enough approval rating so he had to kill him off. very different outcomes!

but neither of them have managed to fuck him so we'll see on which shores the tides of love take us 🤡

Tbh I think many of these wives genuinely believe that if he says he wants something, you have to do it because how can you deny your boyfriend this "but he said so!!!". Loving someone doesn't mean agreeing with them every single time, that's not how actual relationships work.

very well said!

also, i think that maybe in another game, it would matter more towards making him "happy" if you just went along with everything he says, but the game mechanics here are a little different and it's obviously telegraphing hard that this is Not A Good Path

That's not to say one can't enjoy toxic relationships in fiction, but that's not what these people are doing here, let's be real.

exactly, there needs to be a level of awareness here of what the dynamic actually is, not a senile denial of basic power imbalances

Did your friend mention the fact that the wives also harassed and stalked one one of his writers for calling this ending the bad one for him? Because they did this. (tbh personally I do think that writer unprofessional in how they expressed their opinion but they still didn't deserve to be harassed for it…and it's also not like the text itself doesn't confirm what they said).

not yet, i don't think! she just mentioned that they're very weird with the voice actors as well. she sent me a very long and lachrymose tumblr post, bemoaning that his actor showed his discomfort with ascended!astarion fans during a livestream, how unprofessional and hurt they were by this very normal reaction

on a different note, she showed me the post with the life-sized astarion sex doll someone commissioned

I do feel bad for those who do like his evil ending for what it is without trying to whitewash it because they often end up catching strays thanks to the crazies, like people telling them they'll be abused in real life by their partners because they like this version of Astarion…which is not a nice thing to say to someone even online.

of course, you can enjoy even that ending. i can see myself playing with my friends and making the most idiotic choices, howling with laughter. every one has a kind of setup that allows them to revel in the silliness or (why not) the kink-factor of these situations. it's the "convincing yourself this isn't abusive" part that's the issue

On the other hand these wives claim they are genuine villain fuckers, that they love Astarion as evil as he can be, they also claim to love dark romances but then they totally dumb down the toxic elements of the relationship with him and turn it into uwuuu loving evil power couple.

i wanted to highlight this because it's so true and something i've seen in more fandoms as well. i would say that aly$m0nd was a similar case, where a lot of shippers refused to engage with any potentially problematic aspects of their relationship and just pushed a sanitized true love narrative.

I will address the rest all at once without quoting separately since it's faster. Hopefully I didn't miss anything important:

The spear you found in Withers' place is okay for Shadowheart momentarily but it will soon become obsolete as you will find a much better weapon for her just before entering act 2. It's a mace called "The Blood of Lathander" and is located somewhere within the Githyanki Creche (you will have to go there as it's part of Lae'zel quest). Just deal with the giths first and then go and search for the weapon. It's super good for clerics especially and it's one of those weapons that is effective even in act 3 by the end of the game.

I heard about this mace! I will keep an eye out for it. Add it to my list of items I need to find while still in Act 1.

Entering turn based mode is also a good idea when stealing from merchants.

Yeah the weightless consumables mod is a must have. It seems useless now but when you start collecting all kinds of arrows, potions, scrolls, gold you will become encumbered really, really quick.

I'll see how much longer I'll mentally last with loading and unloading all of the crap I pick up. :))

I think you can sneak past Ethel's masked servants, some players managed to do it (perhaps you could try and make everyone invisible?). Personally I fought them as I didn't want to complicate myself by trying to sneak.

Oh yeah, I go more in detail in my last post about my Ethel adventures.

The Ethel point, if not used on your character, might very well go on one of your companions as I may have said in one of my previous asks. If anyone's main stat is still 17 use it to get it to 18. Then use the ability increase feat to even other odd ability points left? Mayrina will be angry with you no matter what you do so don't worry, it will pass.

So, I requested an INT +1. And my plan currently is to summon the ogres when I go to the goblin camp, make sure they die, if not felled by goblins, then by my hand, and pick up the Circlet of Intelligence or whatever it's called. It pumps INT up to 17, I think? I can then dump all of my INT numbers down to the minimum of 8, add Ethel's +1 and I'm up to 18. With a lot of points free to distribute someplace else. If I can get my hands on the Gloves of Dexterity, too, I can almost turn Mirta into a tank. I feel that secretly she longs for the bloodsong of the battlefield, but is keeping real quiet about it. :))

Nice that you persuaded the ogres to fight for you!!

You got the necromancy book? That's great. Buuuut you might have wanted to take Astarion with you as he has an interest in it. Giving it to him will also grant A LOT of approval (10 points I believe?) which is desirable since you want to romance him. And no, he won't do anything funny with it, the book will be safe in his hands. I mentioned in a previous ask about trusting and agreeing with some of his less insane suggestions, well, this is one of them.

Thank you so much for this suggestion! I wouldn't have known otherwise. There are a lot of details or paths in this game that you could easily miss, some of them very random!

As for your latest incident I should've mentioned that trusting him to NOT drain you dry isn't a good idea lol. I'm sorry once again however it's still extremely funny what he did to poor Mirta. At least she punched him!!

She's in her emo princess era currently. No time like the present to bust out the intense eye makeup!

After you are done with all the side quests in the area you can go to the goblin camp and do what's needed to be done there without needing to kill ALL of them. Rescue Halsin if you want to (he is a nice guy but a boring character overall and the bear sex stunt turned me off his character a bit I fear) and kill the goblin leaders. Not sure if you know, but one of their leaders (Minthara) can be recruited later in act 2 if you knock her out. So no killing - so don't use spells and ranged weapons on her if you want her to survive and have her in your party eventually.

Yeah, the bear sex I honestly find hilarious. I'm going to try to recruit as many as I can, because free labour and help? Why not? Though I'm not sure I can have both Minthara and Halsin in my camp (apparently they can't stand each other?). My bf said I had to choose, but I wonder if I can't get those two crazy cats to get along with my high CHA.

You may want to expose Kagha and the shadow druids before doing the goblin camp.

Good to know, thanks!

This is weird, when it comes to dialogues you should have the possibility to select the Friends cantrip in the bonus section before you roll the dice. It should be there near Shadowheart's guidance. Once you select it two dices will show up on your screen, then the dice with the higher number will be taken into consideration. You may have a bug if it doesn't show up. But yes other than dialogues, there's not much practicality for it.

You're right about that, I will reconsider the Friends cantrip later on maybe. I imagine I get more cantrip slots as I progress.

Also, if you want access to the Guidance cantrip, there is a necklace that grants you this spell so you won't need to drag Shadowheart around you. (a short video with the location so I don't have to explain it to you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_abMisavwU )

This would be so useful, thank you very much!!! V excited about this!

Yep, Dancing Lights disarming traps and vents is apparently a thing which I found out quite late in the game. I always threw stones and random weapons at vents to cover them and then I had Astarion disarm them and any other traps.

As for lightning and ice spells or cantrips: Shocking Grasp and Ray of Frost are the only cantrips available, but you may want to look into spells. I know the temptation is to not spend your spell slots and focus on cantrips since you can cast them endlessly but trust me, sometimes you'll have to use spells. Once you hit level 5 you'll begin to have access to other cool lightning and ice spells. Lightning Bolt and Glyph of Warding (this one lets you choose the type of damage you will deal and both ice and lightning are available - Shadowheart as a cleric will also have access to this spell) and on later levels there are even more cool ones. You probably missed this one but on early levels there is also Chromatic Orb which is similar to the Glyph.

Oh, yeah, I do use spells, too, but you never know when you might need an elemental cantrip you can cast without limit.

The only items Gale can eat will have a text written under them that should say something like "Gale can absorb this item". He has standards, he won't eat just anything!

Too bad I didn't figure that one out sooner, but no real harm done!

Not you giving Gale the Dancing Lights amulet. You are right that it is redundant but it has sentimental value since it's from Arabella's parents. How could you???

The bard hat must be worn by a bard, even if you gain that ability from Alfira it won't work on your character. Bards, depending on their current level, have a number of "Bardic Inspiration Poins" which are similar to cleric's Guidance cantrip and will grant other party members bonuses when they roll their dices. Some of their attack actions are also dependent on this system and may cost bardic inspiration points. If you don't intend to respect someone into a bard or use multiclass (a feature that's not available on your difficulty level anyway) on a party member, then the hat will be useless and Gale can eat it.

Oh.... Well, it was worth a shot. I did look goofy while wearing it. Gave it to Gale after all.

Gloves of uncommon power? Did you mean gloves of power? They are fine on Lae'zel or maybe even better on Astarion due to the Sleight of Hand +1 bonus. You could give them to Gale and then buy the Gloves of Thievery for Astarion from the Zhentarim merchant (I think you need to deliver the shipment from the caravan to them without opening it in order to have access to them and other cool items from full inventory).

These names sort of blend into each other after a while. :)) I'm writing down the Gloves of Thievery, thanks. :))

thank you for the Magnus Archives podcast link!

You're very welcome, I hope you liked the episode!

Anonymous asked:

"lmao anon don't worry! i genuinely did it for the lols at least i got him to an 18 approval rating for me, more than karlach, lae'zel OR gale somehow (motherfucker, and this is AFTER i gave him an artefact to consume)" Thanks the gods lol, I was surprised a bit since most players did not genuinely trust him to not do something stupid. The fact that you have options to make him stop is enough of a warning imho, the game is pretty much like "are you sure about trusting him, hmm?".

Tell me about it, but you can't really think clearly with vampire fangs down your neck, right? ☠

And how did you manage to have fucking Gale at a lower approval lmao, now I feel stupid for suggesting in my other message to go for him instead if you can't manage to romance the vampire. Gale and Shadowheart were the only ones I managed to have much high numbers compared to Astarion, and quite early on. Karlach was the hardest for me, followed by Lae'zel.

I'll have to check how I stand with them in this post-Ethel administration! 💪 Shadowheart and Wyll are quite keen on me.

"i'm glad he's fucking "happy", what can i say 🤡 maybe now we're not going to fail every perception check in ethel's cave at least. we're going TODAY so i can benefit from this bonus (i did work my arse off for if after all!)" From now on up until the end of the game you can use his bite ability on enemies when in combat and he will gain the "Happy" condition each time, including the +1 bonus. Alternatively, you can also have Mirta become his willing blood bag and invite him to feed on her each night or so lol & the following morning he will gain the condition that way as well, but I think letting him feed on enemies is better.

Yeah, I can imagine the blood bank fics, 😅 but, unfortunately (or fortunately for the sane ones amongst us), Mirta would wake up with some of her abilities depleted at the cost of Astarion's boosts. And that doesn't really work for her since she's discovered her own penchant for dueling after her brush with death. How can she take all that damage enemies frontload on her in combat otherwise? 💬

A fun happening which I forgot to mention previously but there is this Rha*nicent fan art that's been living rent free in my head ever since I saw it back in august (link: https://x.com/kknoahh/status/1825991659835867357) with short haired Rha*nyra, who I genuinely thought to be…Astarion at first. I was like who the fuck started to ship Alicent with him lmao, like can you imagine this crackship.

Oh my goodness, Rhaenyra really does look like him. 😳 Alicent really out there catching all strays and being shipped with anyone with the slightest potential of becoming psychosexually obsessed with her. :))

Have fun at the birthday party!!

Thanks so much, it was nice to go out and see my friends!

Anonymous asked:

Well, Gale isn't in a position to criticize Astarion for hiding his true nature, to be fair. You'll find out soon enough when he confesses the full truth about his condition and why he really needs to consume all those magical artefacts. I don't remember if the rest of your companions have something to say each time after you give items to Gale to eat but after you feed him for the third and final time they should have something to say if you click on them, at least those who are in your active party at the time (again, no exclamation mark will show up above them).

This tip has proven very useful and I always make sure to check on them at the end of the day and after I hit long rest. Most of them did comment on Gale some way the other, but NONE of them had ANYTHING to day that the leech spawn KILLED ME. Forsooth!

Astarion will be like "who would hide something like this from his friends? you can't trust anyone this days", which is quite hilarious considering Gale was more understanding lol.

This line is even funnier if you think he's being self-aware while saying it. :))

I may offer you a hint that won't spoil anything: make a quicksave to be sure just in case and then use Astarion's bite ability on Gale. You'll see that something is wrong with the guy… ;)

He did ask me whose blood I'd suck, which was quite hilarious, and insisted I'd answer. :)) I picked Gale for the lols, hoping it would trigger what you said, but nothing happened. I guess fang boy abides by our deal and keeps to hunting animals? Who would have thought? But maybe I'll try to bite Gale tonight, to see what he does.

Unfortunately, backgrounds don't matter so much, Tav is pretty much a blank slate. You get some specific skill proficiencies and maybe some unique dialogue options here and there but other than that? Pretty much nothing, except for also receiving inspiration points. It's really a missed opportunity and one of my main criticisms of the game, there are plenty of occasions in the game where your background could've been taken into into consideration. You actually gave a good example about perhaps being allowed into spaces common born people aren't, but unless I missed something, nothing like this happens. You even meet Baldurian nobles in act 3 and you have no dialogue options with any of them when normally you should've been familiarized with at least some of them, being a noble yourself. Two of your possible companions, Wyll and Minthara, are of noble birth as well and you can't have a noble to noble conversation with them (you have a noble dialogue option with Minthara but only if you play as a drow noble, other races aren't acknowledged and as far as I can recall, Wyll has no specific dialogue for other nobles).

That's unfortunate. It would have been a great addition. Like, I imagine noble characters could start out with more coin in their pockets or that common-borns could have streets smarts (survival proficiency) or knowledge about the local flora or fauna or small settlements. I sometimes have dialogue with people about aspects my tav should already be aware of, even general world-building stuff, like fellow races or just current events. :))

Also, it's rather annoying to be playing a Baldurian character but they're seemingly unaware of anything going on in Baldur's gate. For example, Mirta should have been aware of Cazador, I feel? At the very least that there's a coven of vampires in her home city and that no one is doing anything about it. :)) Or just generally question Astarion's magistrate background.

Good luck with Ethel!!

Thank you! Whole other post below on my hag struggles. :)

[evansbby]

I finally finished obx season 4 and here are my immediate thoughts... (SPOILERS under the cut!!)

Okay firstly, TikTok spoiled it for me so I knew JJ was gonna die. But like... WHAT THE FUCK. Why did I cry anyways lmfaooo. But also firstly let me address the elephant in the room. Not them hyping up Jiara for three seasons just to give us such a lacklustre "relationship" (if you could even call it that) in this season!! LIKE THIS IS SO INSANE TO ME. I don't care if the actors have drama in real life like I actually do not. I actually hate it when actors let their personal lives get in the way of their projects because the lack of professionalism is crazy like I'm sorry but that is just insane. The rest of us normal everyday folk go to work and get shit done every single day even if we hate our co workers. You have Sarah and John B who's actors are literally exes but they know how to show up to work and do their jobs!!

AND THIS ESPECIALLY SUCKED during JJ's death scene because Kiara was just not giving!!! Like IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SO MUCH MORE EMOTIONAL ON HER PART. Like if I was her I'd be all up in JJ's arms, or holding him in my arms like that's the love of your life about to DIE??? He is on his literal deathbed and you're here social distancing??? It should've been him in her arms, her cradling his head, cupping his face, holding him, trying to get him to hold on SHOWING SOME KIND OF CONVICTION. No! Nothing. Barely anything. No conviction, flat emotion. Someone said it must've been the stunt double dying in front her haha. No but seriously it's only when I saw John B's reaction to JJ dead that actually had me crying.

NO BC HONESTLY those two actors Rudy and Madison killed Jiara this season. Truly!!! And you'd think they'd act mature for the integrity of the show, the quality of the show but NOPE. oh well!!!

But anyways, apart from that let's move on to Rafe bc I know everyone loves Rafe and HONESTLY THIS WAS THE SEASON I FELL IN LOVE WITH RAFE BC WHY WAS HE SO CALM THIS SEASON???? WHAT HAPPENED TO UNHINGED RAFE?? But him and Sofia were soooo sweet together!! Although I really do not understand how he BROKE UP WITH HER after literally saying he didn't care what she did because he's done worse??? Like??? I really thought that was him saying it's OK, whatever you've done it doesn't matter. But no... my dude literally dumped her long distance over the phone WITHOUT LETTING HER GET A WORD IN even after his whole getting down on one knee, giving her his mother's ring and that whole speech???? IDGI. (But also he was so hot this season like sooo gorgeous that face card is insane holy shit and also he is soooo tall especially compared to Sofia and I thought all their scenes were sooooo cute ahhh he was soo touchy with her!!!! and in love!!!!)

But also top five worse Rafe moments was in Morocco when his poor pregnant sister Sarah is like... DYING and hasn't eaten in two days and he watches the rest of them steal food for her bc they don't have money AND THIS WHOLE TIME THIS BITCH RAFE HAD MONEY??? Like why did the writers make such a weird decision?? Bc they were clearly going for the Rafe redemption arc so it makes zero sense why would he not buy his sister food? He KNEW she was pregnant bc he was there at the fire when she announced it right???? DID I MISS SOMETHING???? idk i feel like this was weird on the writers' part.

ALSO SPEAKING OF PREGNANT SARAH???? This girl was hop skip running jumping SURVIVING STORMS AND SHIPWRECKS AND SANDSTORMS while pregnant?!?! WTF.... like damn ok.

ANYWAYS my favourite character was Pope because he has the most common sense and is the smartest and honestly HONESTLY in season 5 he needs to get away from the rest of them and go to med school and live HIS life!!! and also take Cleo with him bc they are so cute together!! and balance each other out nicely.

Overall I think it was a good season. Jiara died this season they were basically friends and nothing more but oh well. And i know everyone's gonna hate me for this and i know i ship Rafe and Sofia but LETS GOOO RAFE X KIARA (it's not gonna happen but i like to imagine it haha)

what did you guys think?

[cookinguptales]

i spent several hours the other day reading through all your old karabita fics to relive the magic and i just have to say, they fucking rule. my personal favorites are the flower shop au and the werewolf au, but special mention has to be made because you are the author of one of the only two good hanahaki fics i've ever read (hanahaki plots have a lot of inherent pitfalls that are very hard to avoid). you and i both left the fandom when season 2 started up, but i'll never stop reading these tbh

Thank you, anon. ;; I've had a rough 24 hours and it was really nice to hear something like this.

The flower shop AU was one of my favorites, too! It was a spitefic, lmao. I saw someone saying that flower shop AUs are always bad and I wanted to see if I could prove them wrong haha. And obviously people's mileage may vary, but I thought it came out really well!

The werewolf one... might have been inspired by a werewolf outfit from one of the mobile games? I can't quite remember, but I remember that they had some really fun Halloween events. IIRC a lot of people did werewolf!kara after that and I wanted to join in the fun by making an incredibly stupid (but hopefully still sweet) werewolf AU. I'm really glad that you enjoyed it so much! I didn't know that anyone was placing it among their favorites.

And my secret for the hanahaki fic is... I mean. I actually also do not like hanahaki fics lmao. I wasn't familiar with the trope at all back then! Someone requested that I write it and I had to google what it was, haha. It wasn't really a trope that appealed to me, honestly, and I took some time to think about the best way to make it fit the characters. Karamatsu's cringe-ass melodrama saved the day. :')

I actually thought that no one was going to like it when I posted it. I felt like it was impossible to do such a soapy trope without going high on the melodrama, but I thought that would probably turn people off. I was shocked when it became probably my most popular fic in that fandom.

You really never know what's gonna hit quite right!

tbh I had a good time in Osomatsu-san fandom. The show had a good mixture of stupid and heartfelt in the first season that meant that I could write whatever dumb shit I wanted and it would feel IC, particularly AUs. The presence of canon (stupid) AUs made that aspect of fandom really fun.

It wasn't a perfect experience (I had a couple semi-stalking situations and there was a weirdly prevalent issue with artists doing fanart of my fic, the fic getting 3 notes on tumblr, the fanart getting 1000 notes, and people thinking that the artist made up the characters/ideas/dialogue instead of me) but it was good, dopey fun and I really enjoyed writing unhinged bullshit.

But then, yeah, s2 happened. lmao

Anyway, thanks again for all the kind words. It's really nice to know that people are still reading and enjoying those stories. ;;

[spitdrunken]

looking at your rules, do you really just allow anything?

People can send in whatever the want. But the things I won't write, I've genuinely have never gotten asks about. Some of those things would be:

notes; mention of underage + kink mentions

underage. for multiple reasons. aging up characters is fine by me, and i've posted that in the past, but i would never write explicitly underage content on here.

scat / sweat / musk / farting / inflation / feeding, just not into it.

most of the 'unusual' body part stuff. think belly buttons, arm pits, ears, eyeball licking, stuff like that. just don't have any interest in writing it, and am not really into it. feet is fine, depending on the context.

some of the stuff i've seen in more extreme eromanga... like nipple fucking or wombfucking, or extreme size difference / just like EXTREMELY large cocks, all the way through, or something like that... as someone with a womb and tits, it just makes me viscerally uncomfortable. not sexy to me HAHA

i've written a lot of kinky stuff, though not everything gets posted on here. the more extreme stuff i write most often about is in my pinned (so noncon, incest, eroguro, etc.), but i've also written a lot of piss stuff, ageplay and everything it involves, conversion noncon (though i don't think i will ever post that kind of stuff publicly, lmao), vomit, vore, and probably some other stuff i'm forgetting. i've read and written a lot of stuff.

so tldr; people can send in whatever they want, doesn't mean im going to write everything that gets send in! if something very unhinged, like, to the point that it makes me uncomfortable, ends up in my inbox, i'd probably make a post about it. but, again, that's literally NEVER happened. just send in whatever you feel like, really.

[writerscafehub]

MEET THE BARISTA: Stella

@a-lumos-in-the-nox

From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

4.0, I've gotten better over the years, especially with just sharing over two ish years ago. I'd like to go back and brush up some descriptions but other than that I say it's good! 

What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

I say the characters I decide to make each one of my characters are their own person that I can see being real. They are definitely my favorite part of my stories.

Are there any writers that inspire you?

Right now, Brandon Sanderson. I'm reading through his first novels now. The way he uses descriptions to worldbuild is amazing! And I love his characters

And all my friends on the server, the people over there write some incredible stuff!

What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

Stella Archer, I wrote that story in college it's a decade old & I never thought I'd finish it let alone share it! Stella's been with me the longest so you can see how I used to write then vs. now all in one series. 

Which character(s) do you find easiest to write and which do you find most difficult to write?

Easiest to write: George Weasley cause anything goes with him. He's goofy, sweet, confident and a wildcard. That's really fun to play with. 

Hardest/Challenging: Neville Longbottom & Druig. These two are my heads & tails. They are complete opposites. Druig's is inquisitive and there's a depth to him that I can relate too, and hes smart mouth, my favorite kind of guy lol. 

Neville is soft, confident, brave & empathic. There are things i can have Druig do that i can’t do with Neville and vice versa. I could talk about their differences forever but they are still a fun challenge to write. 

Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

Usually whatever idea I haven't done yet or I want to try. I write a lot about superheroes or powered individuals. Often with my own spin 😏. Friends to lovers mostly. 

Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about!

im working on the ending of Bloom, it's the last character arch for Neville. His eldest will be looking at school brochures and some of his past students will make a groundbreaking medicine for people who have pain caused from curses & his parents being among the ones able to get the medicine. Meaningful things happen & I'm excited to write it!!!

First fandom you ever wrote for?

Harry Potter; 😂 nothing has changed I still love the universe.

Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

I dont feel guilty about them their all pleasures; so Soulmate AUs, soft dark, Coffee Shop AUs, threesomes, genderbending.

A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

A/B/Os the structure would be all over the place. 

Wildest fic you’ve ever written?

Never Too Late, I put as many of my favorite tropes in there as I could. Soulmate AU, Coffeeshop AU, gross loving couple, old married couple, Tall boi, short girl…etc. And they fucked for a hobby. It was so nuts I made a game out of it in that universe had it's own rules & everything 😂 So much unhinged stuff happens in that fic & I don't regret any of it 😂. 

Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

OCs x main character. Which is usually an extension of me somehow cause i said so. Even the very few readers stuff i have i always pictured myself. 

Do you listen to anything while you write?

I have a playlist for each story i have & i cycle through thoes whenever i need the vibes 

One-shots or multi-chaptered works?

Both, I like both 

15. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

My ficts are day dreams haha. Hmmm I have a bunch of daydreams about Daphne & Charlie spending time with their parents as a family in some of the places they have traveled to when they didn't have kids. That and the adventures of Daphne & Lottie growing up. But I'm really stubborn about aging my OCs kids so most of them stop at a certain age.

16. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

Not scared, I just don’t know how to write it. I want to make my own villain somehow but i gotta figure out so many things first. Or the villain's spouse or something, it’s still on the drawing board. I don't do many dark things so it would be a challenge for me. 

What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

All the comments on my first dark oneshot, Sweet Dreams. It was just me playing around with Druig’s powers to a higher level then flooring it. It was fun & the ones of my first series Stella Archer that story is a decade old. So to get comments on that was special 

Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

For Between the Shadows I did cause i was trying to portray my OC for that a certain way without making her sound boring. That was a hard fic for me in many, many ways. But it turned out great! I’ve never introduced an OC in a more profound way than I did with Juni and it was refreshing to experiment with that OC. 

Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?

I'm a sucker for both. I’ve written both. 

Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

I have 13 fully developed ones and the rest are side ones. But here are some of my favorites!  

Stella Archer-Asgardian Demi-god think of Gaia with all the powers of the elements. She has 4 kids. And married her highschool sweetheart George Weasley. 

Flower- a nymph of mythology origins. Her power is growing flowers and plants from anywhere as long as she has a water source. She carries a pouch of soil around with her for such an occasion. She stayed with her love even though he was cursed by the flying dutchman. 

Ruby Morgan- Charms professor, classic style of dress, her magic specialty is levitation she can make anything levitate with a snap of her fingers. She grew up in France raised by her Dad and her Grandmother. She can read Latin, speak French and loves cats.  

Angus Kohler- Scottish, loves to drink. His magic specialty is tracking. He teaches Care of Magical Creatures. Head of Hufflepuff house. Werewolf, he’s Neville’s best friend and Ruby’s too. Plays the bagpipes at every graduation in full kilt attire that matches Hufflepuff.  

If you could enter the universe of any one of your fics, which would it be and why?

I’d enter Never Too Late cause that OC is the closest to me irl and I basically gave her everything I wanted and didn't skip any details lol. I would gladly love to be in that universe. 

Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them! My ficts are day dreams haha. Hmmm I have a bunch of daydreams about Daphne & Charlie spending time with their parents as a family in some of the places they have traveled to when they didn't have kids. That and the adventures of Daphne & Lottie growing up. But I'm really stubborn about aging my OCs kids so most of them stop at a certain age. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

From Kissed by the Land; Cursed by the Sea.

In a tavern miles away sat a bard playing a tune and weaving a tale.

Let me tell you a tale about a mortal man forced to sail the reaper of the blue…His eyes as blue as the cursed seas, and hair as black as the night, it's true…

He's fought sirens, an sailors, an swamp monsters too, all while sailing souls lost to the depths, to their final steps…it's true.

The reaper of the blue captured this man, for a century or two. Till it was over. An he returned home, to his dearest its true…

This is the tale of the reaper of the blue, and a man forced to sail it's sails wide and true for a century or two…

Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

I wanna go back and write Kissed by the Land; CUrsed by the Sea as a darker tale but i have NO idea how but I totally could!!! I just played around with Fairytales in that one. Um my current series Bloom is almost over & I’m thinking of making a spin off of it only for Angus cause I love that man he’s my wildcard in every sense of the word lol. 

I love writing main character x OCs so i have an excuse to run around in all my favorite worlds as different personas!

[nothorses]

op had to specify 'unseasoned' meatloaf because it's riffing on a Real Bad Take Post by americans about british poverty foods that said 'unseasoned' shepherd's pie, as if anyone is eating that. (I know, haha meme white people don't season their food, but like.) americans are so myopic and fucking mean about the rest of the world, but can't take it themselves. (not that the brits don't deserve it, but frankly, SO DO YOU, AMERICANS, the citizens of the imperial core, the only global superpower.)

Gonna be honest, I think you're making some pretty wild assumptions here, anon.

Like. I have not seen the post you're referring to. I also didn't reblog the one I DID see- just replied to it- which means you saw that comment and decided to come pick a fight with me HERE instead of replying in comments like a normal person. So you both aren't actually a follower of mine, and won't see this anyway unless you've committed to obsessively refreshing my blog to check for the next few days.

Weird!

So y'know, I haven't actually seen the shepherds pie remark, I personally enjoy shepherds pie, and I don't really know what to tell you there. I don't know that "you can dish it but you can't take it" makes any fucking sense in a situation where I did not, in fact, dish it or know that it was being dished.

Also... there are lots of American foods that fucking suck, dude. I'm not out here defending Midwestern "salads" that consist mostly of mayo and perhaps some canned goods, or like most (if not all) jello dishes, or even most of the stuff on that post. There's plenty to hate and make fun of, and I do it all the damn time. You don't know that because you don't know me, and also couldn't know even the amount that my followers know about me. You literally saw me defend meatloaf (which isn't even originally an American dish, just something we have a version of?) and fucking blacked out, I guess.

And I don't care if you like meatloaf, genuinely. I don't mind making fun of food choices or arguing over generally inconsequential food stuff! It's fun. I was saying that in good fun.

What makes this ask particularly fucking unhinged is that you took out all this frustration you have over, I guess, Americans making fun of your food... on some rando who pointed out that most people have sauce on their meatloaf.

For what!! Who cares!! Oh my god!

And I would have just deleted this, but dude. My guy. Holy shit. Like a solid third of those "gross American foods" (if not more, idk- I'm an idiot from the PNW) are like, pretty classic black southern dishes.

I simply do not think you can argue that black americans "deserve it" the same way white brits or white americans do, actually. I don't think it's fair to act as if they are equal "citizens of the imperial core, the only global superpower".

Like, we're not making fun of British Indian food. We aren't making fun of teriyaki or other American immigrant food. Why do you think "American biscuits and gravy" is cool to mock? I don't think black people "have it coming", man. I think that's a pretty weird take, actually.

Also... like... their food is objectively miles better than whatever midcentury depression-era mess white americans are still trying to pretend is edible.