#And suddenly these questions begin to MATTER
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insane-arcane · 3 days ago
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Yandere Jayce X Reader X Viktor
You'd just made a breakthrough in your work and Sky had taken you out to celebrate. After a few drinks too many and a couple fun appetizers you made your way home. She offered to walk you but you could hold your liquor and weren't worried about getting back to your apartment which was relatively close. Walking her back to the Academy making sure not to stumble so she wouldn't worry she pauses at her dorm buildings door. Her eyes glance to the left then the right as her hand stays latched around your wrist. She asks if she should call a carriage or security to escort you to your apartment but slipping your hand away you wave her off with a confident smile.
The walk home was pleasant. It was a warm night with a gentle breeze blowing and as you walked you took everything in with a happy glow. The drinks somehow make the world a much brighter place. You wished you were this optimistic all the time. We're the gardens always this beautiful? We're they always missing so many blooms?
Entering your home with a slight giggle you hum confused staring at your furniture. Had they been moved? Figuring it was the alcohol you shrug it off but then you hear something. Eyes narrowing you regret not taking Sky's offer as a heavy feeling of dread settles in your stomach. Creeping to your kitchen careful not to step on any loose boards you look for a weapon.
Eyes scanning the tools you grab a meat cleaver off your kitchen stand before you pause. You still had time, if there was an intruder they had no idea you were here. You could leave and get security downstairs but what if you were wrong? What if you hadn't heard anything? They'd think you were Crazy or a Drunk. You might get in trouble for nothing and you couldn't afford the rumors it might cause.
Deciding to bite the bullet and hope for once you were wrong you kick your bedroom door open. Holding out the knife you pause.
Your favorite smell wafts through the air and you suddenly feel calmer, your shoulders dropping almost instantly. Your pounding headache begins to fade and you wonder where it's coming from and if you left a candle on. Blinking you close your eyes before you put a hand to your head. Taking a deep breath you're finally able to focus on the disarray of your room and who was inside.
"Viktor! Jayce! What the fuck?" You demand as you stand in your doorway Meat Cleaver ready to be used. Viktor was leaning against Jayces shoulder tired but hearing your voice he slightly stirred.
"Ahhhh (Y/N) your here!" Jayce states getting up off the bed and walking away from Viktor. He claps his hands before gesturing to the well decorated room. Viktor makes an annoyed sound at being disturbed but simply grabs his cane and slowly stands up when he sees it's you.
"Yes. I live here. What are you doing here?" You demand pointing your knife at them. Your brain buzzed and you were a little to tired for all of this. How did they get into your apartment? Why were they in your apartment? A million questions buzzed through your brain.
"See I told you it was a bit much? Ja?" Viktor says as he pinches his nose before he uses his free hand to wipe at his face trying to wake up. He looked at you with a sleepy grin and you roll your eyes in disbelief.
"No it was romantic." Jayce defends as he turns to look at Viktor making you groan. Jayce would think that wouldn't he, delusional as he was?
"I admit we may have gone overboard." Viktor states as he sees your displeased look. "But only with the best intentions love, nothing sinister see?" He questions and you hum noticing the melted candles and rose petals.
"How... How did you get into my house?" You question staring at the romantic setup with a confused and slightly worried look.
"Technicalities don't matter. Do you like it?" Staring at all the romantic pros you take a deep breath and press your hand to your forehead as you felt another much stronger headache coming on.
"I... Yes it's nice. Viktor did you break into my house?" You question slowly. You didn't want to insinuate anything since he was from the Undercity but your door being unlocked and them being in your apartment told you they'd somehow snuck or otherwise broke in. You were very specific about your lock routine not wanting any research or valuables to be stolen from you since you spent a majority of your time in the lab.
"Do you really want to know lovley?" Viktor teases and you close your eyes again. You were too tired and too drunk, honestly you didn't. You really didn't. You just wanted to collapse on your bed and sleep.
"Did you pick my lock?" You question softly. It's not an accusation, more of a hypothesis but you already know the answer before either answer. Viktor gives you a sheepish smile and shrugs as if to say who knows. But you made your own assumptions and you knew exactly how they got in. Golden eyed cheeky bastard.
"Were getting off track." Jayce interjects as he steps in front of you and grabs your shoulders before he turns you towards the bed.
"Okay I'll bite. What is all of this?" You question not letting go of the meat cleaver as he walks you closer to your bed.
"A romantic gesture." You stared at all the flowers, rose petals, candles, and chocolate covered fruits in trays.
"... Romantic is not the word I'd use. Unnecessary perhaps." You respond making a face as Jayce urges you to sit.
"(Y/N) you wound me so." Jayce states pouting. Humming in acknowledgment you stare at your room, at what they'd done for you. At the mess you'd have to clean later.
"I'd offer you a glass of wine but it seems you've had your fill." Viktor suddenly says looking concerned, perhaps annoyed. You weren't entirely sure what laid behind his eyes in that moment but something you weren't used to. Rolling your eyes in turn for what feels like the hundredth time you place the knife down.
"Oh I'm going to need a glass after all this." You state as you bring your hands up to your face.
“As long as you share.” Jayce responds nuzzling into your neck. Giggling scooting away from the affectionate gesture you whine as Jayces soft lips touch your neck, so different from his calloused hands that wrap around your waist. The inventors crafty hands slip under your shirt and graze across your ticklish stomach. As gooseflesh rises on your arms your eyes flutter and Jayce hums clearly enjoying himself.
Viktor chuckles watching you get flustered. “Where were you?” He questions as he sits on the other side of you tilting your face towards him. As you smile leaning into his warm hand he smirks slightly, enjoying the contact. “(Y/N)...?” He hums lips hovering over yours as he waits for an answer.
“Celebrating with Sky. I wanted you both to come but couldn't find you.” You respond and he nods satisfied before leaning in to close the gap. As Viktors lips touch yours Jayces hands begin to fiddle with your clothes.
“You found us.” Jayce teases and you shiver as Viktor deepens the kiss and Jayce continues to gently grope you. Their hands only getting more desperate as they squish you in-between them.
You did indeed. You found something you didn't even know you were looking for. A fact they seemed to be forgetting. As their lips crash against yours and their hands feel your body you whine. They shouldn't be here, you shouldn't be doing this. But the more they kissed you and the more you sunk into your sheets with their sweet words whispered in your ear the less you cared. Slightly hazy from the alcohol but enjoying the feeling none the less you wonder if life has always been this colorful. If it was the alcohol or the thrill of it all. And when you woke up would it still be this colorful entwined in their arms?
Or would the harsh truth of their breaking in ruin the morning mood? You're not sure and as they continue to kiss and hold you, only getting more desperate for you after waiting for so long, you realize that's a problem for tomorrow. For now it's colorful.
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psychemochanight · 3 days ago
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Kinda an AU? Not exactly canon, but not exactly an AU?
Imagine being Bruce Wayne at the first gala since Dick stopped living with him after firing him as Robin.
Alfred is still angry with you, calling you a hypocrite with his eyes (and sometimes verbally) for pretending to be a good person by holding charity events when you kicked your son out onto the street.
At the gala, it is the first time you appear without Dick Grayson at your side since you adopted that child when he was eight years old, that is, the first time you appear without him in almost nine years.
Comments are obviously not long in coming, especially when you have to explain that Dick is not going to go, and no, he is not sick.
There is no shortage of those who immediately begin their negative comments about the "circus freak", those who wondered when this "charity act" would end and why Bruce delayed that much in kicking him out.
Bruce almost didn't hear these comments, but if he did, these people would be banned, not only from this event, but from all others.
But most of the regular guests are not only curious, they also adore Dick, they adore that boy who captivated them since childhood with his easy smile, contagious laugh and funny tricks. To the boy who was always polite to them, even when he found creative ways to escape from them when he was clearly tired and sleepy and he just wanted to go to his bedroom.
And Bruce just can't find ways to tell them that Dick no longer lives with him, that the kid is now off who knows where (he knows) to his own devices. That they won't see that boy around at those events anymore, and that he is to blame for not knowing how to communicate properly.
There were never people of Dick's age at those galas, but now there are people who are close to his age range, and Bruce internally wishes that Dick could be among them, a normal kid, but he knows better. He isn't there, and no matter how good a detective he is... He can't put the pieces together to figure out that he'll ever see him there again.
Even when Jason shows up, Dick still doesn't go to the galas, not at first. Suddenly, it's not just that Batman replaced Robin... But that Bruce Wayne replaced his son.
Even Alfred agrees.
The next time someone sees Dick Grayson at a gala, he is no longer the teenager everyone remembers, but a full-fledged adult, still with that easy smile and contagious laugh, but his gaze is too different from that time; and for someone who had already been through hell at such a young age... No one dares to question him, not at all.
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superdupersillyme · 4 hours ago
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twst housewardens with a yuu!reader that has lifeless eyes?
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𝙷𝙾𝚄𝚂𝙴𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙳𝙴𝙽𝚂 𝚡 𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙴𝚁 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚎𝚢𝚎𝚜
🍒SFW🍒 🍒Word count: 1625🍒 🍒Notes: first request let's gooo!🍒
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𝚁𝚒𝚍𝚍𝚕𝚎 𝚁𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚜:
You felt a hand smack the back of your head.  “Must you always look so grim? You’ll wilt my roses if you keep staring at them that way!”
It wasn’t the roses Riddle was worried about, but he’d rather die than admit otherwise. No matter how many parties and events he prepared, how many gifts he showered you in, you always looked on the verge of tears, and the housewarden was beginning to lose his patience.                Riddle stepped in front of you, in all his 5'2 glory, and held his head high. “Pay attention. I demand that, from now on, you attempt to improve your smiling skills.” You blinked once, twice. Was he serious? A silly question, really. Riddle was always serious. “Are you deaf? Go on, try it! And make sure it reaches your eyes, like so.”                He gave you a fake grin that more resembled a pained grimace than anything else. The entire situation was so absurd that you couldn’t help but snicker and chuckle. The sound made butterflies go wild inside the boy’s stomach. He wanted to order time itself to freeze so he could capture that rare image of you on canvas. A smile, genuine this time, tugged on his lips. “Ah, there it is. Much better. I’ll keep in mind that you’re an easy one to amuse.”
𝙹𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚕 𝚅𝚒𝚙𝚎𝚛:
Jamil wasn’t subtle, no matter how hard he tried to be. Ever since the day you stepped foot onto the college, he was almost protective of you, always making sure you were comfortable, always looking out for any potential issues he could solve. That unbothered persona he put up for others was completely cast aside when it came to you.
One certain afternoon, Jamil was quiet, lazily pacing around you the way a cat does when it wants attention, seemingly deep in thought. When you called him out on it, the man shrugged.                “Hm? What I want? Nothing. I’m fine.”
You waited. One, two, three, four... ”...But I have been wondering,” four seconds was a record, “if you’re feeling alright. Things haven’t been easy for you, have they? Being introduced to a brand new world and all.”
Jamil approached, those usually sharp eyes full of nothing but concern. He analyzed your features for a second. “You always seem...tired. And it might be none of my business, but I’m willing to sit down and listen, if you need someone to. Remember that.”
You didn’t have to remember, though, because Jamil would continue to offer you help, over and over and over, until you took him up on it and opened up about your life before Night Raven College and the struggles you were facing while in it. And for someone so reserved, Jamil managed to find the right words, the right encouragement and advice. Has he always been this good with people? You were glad he insisted.
𝙻𝚎𝚘𝚗𝚊 𝙺𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚊𝚛:
The first time you noticed it was when Leona turned around one day to find you standing behind him. He flinched. But it was a fast, subtle reaction, and he managed to play it off. But strange things kept happening: He would avoid walking past you on the corridors. He would shift uncomfortably in place when you’d enter a room. He’d actively avoid picking on you, to everyone’s surprise. Leona would usually love the opportunity to mess with a newcomer.
Suddenly, it dawned on you: he was scared. And the man himself confirmed it, because when you asked, he might as well have run off to hide. Leona tried to vehemently deny it, mostly by stuttering out insults and empty threats. But when it became clear you weren’t falling for any of it, the lion gave up. “Listen, y-you just...” He ran a hand through his messy hair and grunted. “You look creepy as hell, okay?! Is it my fault that you look like a goddamn ghost?”
The man pointed a clawed finger at your face and narrowed his eyes. “Don’t you dare spread this around, y’hear? Creepy or not, I can still snap you in half like a twig.”                You nodded, but said nothing else. There was a beat of silence while you two kept eye contact. Leona’s expression shifted, and you thought he was about to back off in fear...
...but was that a blush on his cheeks?
Before you could comment on it, he used the finger he had been pointing at you to shove your forehead. “Stop staring at me with those big ol’ eyes!”
𝙼𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚞𝚜 𝙳𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚊:
Malleus had been watching you from afar. Someone else might have realized that that kind of behavior was inappropriate at best and creepy at worst, but the prince was too infatuated to care.
Then, one night, while you were out for some fresh air, he gathered enough courage to approach.
“Are you unhappy, human?” It was such a nuanced question, yet he asked it so casually. “You don’t have to share your struggles with a stranger, of course. But I see pain behind your eyes, and it bothers me.”
You did, in fact, not share. But you let Malleus stay. You kept finding each other outside, almost every night, and it was not a coincidence: a secretly scheduled date of sorts. He’d walk with you under the moonlight, in complete silence at first. Then, he began talking about his day, asking you about yours, going on tangents about his interests... His voice was soothing, it almost sounded like a lullaby. You thought you could fall asleep to it.
And you did, a few months later, while you were both sitting on a bench and Malleus spoke about this one book he had found interesting. Your head came to rest upon his shoulder, and your eyelids fluttered close. The prince only realized you were not listening anymore when a soft snore interrupted him. He smiled. Had that always been the issue? Were you simply tired, and it reflected in your appearance? It didn’t matter, not in that moment. In that moment...you looked happy.
𝙸𝚍𝚒𝚊 𝚂𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚍:
“Your eyes are so pretty... Have I ever told you that?” He had. Many times before, ever since you began dating and he managed to come out of his shell. Idia would make sure to remind you often: personally, through text, and you’d often catch him staring with a lovestruck expression, silently admiring your features.                You couldn’t understand it. All your life, you’ve heard many adjectives directed at you, but none of them were exactly positive. Lifeless. Gloomy. Sickly. The fact that Idia insisted on complimenting you felt almost like a white lie, then. A way to make you feel better. When you voiced those concerns to him, his arms tightened their grip around you protectively. There was a beat of silence as Idia considered what to answer. “You know...People used to make fun of my smile a lot. Because of the sharp teeth. So I just...stopped smiling often, so no one could see it. But you find my smile cute, don’t you?”
You nodded. “Yeah, well, see what I mean? When I’m with you, I smile all the time, don’t I? We might look weird to others, but, between you and me...” He moved a strand of hair off your eyes with a lanky finger. ”...we’re the cutest.”
𝙰𝚣𝚞𝚕 𝙰𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚗𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚝𝚘:
“I just want to have a nice, civilized talk with them. What do you take me for, hm? A brute?”
Azul had been trying to pry the name of the person who made fun of your appearance off your lips for half an hour now. The thought of being indirectly responsible for someone being either beat up or cursed didn’t thrill you, so you refused to tell him. “What a miserable soul they must be if they can’t see your beauty...” Azul caressed your hair, looking genuinely disappointed. You knew these kinds of low insults got to him the most. “Saying you look lifeless, when you’re the person who brings life to my world. People can be so cruel, can’t they? Don’t listen to what they say, dear. I know best.” Evetually, you caved. You knew he wouldn’t drop the subject. And a few days later, Azul was walking around the corridors with his chin high and a big smile. When you asked what had happened...
“I just made the most wonderful deal!”
𝚅𝚒𝚕 𝚂𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚎𝚗𝚑𝚎𝚒𝚝:
Vil used to pad of his index finger to gently apply the golden dust to your eyelid, his face scrunched in concentration. When he was done, he leaned back to take a good look at the finished product.
“Ah, much better!” He held your chin to have a better look at your painted face. “The light makeup did wonders for you. This shade of blush brought you back from the dead, darling, you look-” He stopped talking when you frowned. Vil couldn’t understand why at first. Were you not satisfied with his makeover? And then, he considered the possibility of you not wanting a makeover at all. That maybe he shouldn’t have said the makeup ‘brought you back from the dead’. Vil cupped your face between his hands, guilt tugging at his heartstrings. “Look at me, dearest. I...I didn’t mean it that way. You know I find you absolutely breathtaking, with or without makeup. In fact...it’s not your appearance I’m most concerned about.”                His thumbs traced the eye bags under your eyes. “You don’t look healthy. Have you been sleeping enough? A-And you haven’t been skipping meals, have you? You should use some creams, too...”                The housewarden reached for the wet wipes he had been using to clear off any mistakes. “Change of plans, dear. We’re having a spa day, complete with skin care and scented baths.”
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tkdb-hell · 2 days ago
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25 with one of the hotarubi boys 💜 reader gets lost in hotarubi or maybe they had a fight, but the other comes to find them and takes them to shelter. I LOVE UR WORK ⭐️
This is so Haku-coded I had to jump the queue for this one. I might've gotten a little carried away... oops
#25 - Wet kisses after finding refuge from the rain.
Kisses Prompt List • Kisses Masterlist
(I do my best to write the reader as gender neutral unless otherwise specified - if you send me an ask and prefer masc or fem, please let me know)
♡ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT ♡
The storm came suddenly, as storms always did at Hotarubi, dark clouds rolling in to drench the grounds in relentless rain. The once-peaceful garden was now a chaotic sea of raindrops, wind, and thunder, but none of it mattered to Haku—not when you were out there, somewhere, alone.
He cursed under his breath, pulling his jacket tighter around himself as he sprinted through the downpour. You’d stormed out of his dorm after an argument, and at first, he thought you’d come back once you cooled down. But when the storm hit and you didn’t return, worry gnawed at his chest until he couldn’t stay put any longer.
“Where are you?” he muttered, scanning the grounds through the sheets of rain. Just when he was about to give up and head toward the lake, he spotted a figure huddled beneath the large wisteria tree near the edge of the garden.
Relief flooded through him as he rushed over, his footsteps splashing through puddles. “Hey!” he called, crouching down beside you. You were soaked to the bone, your arms wrapped tightly around yourself as you shivered. “What the hell are you doing out here?”
“I didn’t—” Your voice was faint, trembling from the cold. “I didn’t think it would get this bad.”
Haku didn’t wait for you to finish. Without a word, he slipped his arms under your knees and behind your back, lifting you effortlessly into his arms. You started to protest, but he shot you a look. “Don’t. You’re freezing, and I’m not about to let you sit out here and get sick.”
You didn’t argue further, too cold and tired to fight him. You rested your head against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart as he carried you back through the storm.
Once inside his dorm, Haku kicked the door shut behind him, setting you gently down on his bed. The warmth of the room was a stark contrast to the storm outside, but you still felt chilled to the bone.
He grabbed a towel from a nearby chair and handed it to you. “Here. Dry off.”
You took it with a quiet “thanks,” beginning to pat your hair dry as he worked on his own soaked clothes. The tension from your earlier argument still lingered in the air, but before you could bring it up again, Haku reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head in one swift motion, wringing the water out with a casual ease.
Your words caught in your throat. All thoughts of arguing vanished as you watched the raindrops cling to his bare skin, tracing lines down his toned chest and arms. His green hair clung to his face, droplets falling from the tips, and his mismatched eyes flicked toward you, a hint of concern still lingering in his gaze.
“You okay?” he asked, voice soft now, stripped of the frustration from earlier.
You swallowed hard, your heart racing in a way that had nothing to do with the cold. “Yeah… just tired of arguing.”
Before he could say anything else, you reached out, grabbing his wrist and pulling him toward you. He didn’t resist, his eyes widening slightly in surprise as you guided him onto the bed, your lips meeting his in a kiss that was slow, warm, and filled with everything you couldn’t put into words.
Haku melted into the kiss almost immediately, his hands bracing on either side of you as he leaned over, deepening it. The heat of his skin against yours banished any lingering chill, and you sighed into his mouth, threading your fingers through his damp hair.
You didn't give him time to question it. Pulling him closer, you captured his lips in a kiss-wet, slick, and searing. The taste of rain lingered on his mouth, cool and fresh, mingling with the heat of the kiss in a way that made your head spin.
His lips were soft but firm, moving against yours with a growing urgency as if he'd been waiting for this exact moment. You couldn't deny it, not when your body still tingled from the sensation.
For a moment, the world outside faded away, the storm now nothing more than a distant hum. All that mattered was Haku—his touch, his warmth, and the way he kissed you like he’d been waiting for that exact moment.
When you finally pulled back for air, his eyes searched yours, a flicker of that familiar playfulness returning. “So… does this mean I win the argument?”
You laughed softly, resting your forehead against his. “You’re absolutely insufferable.”
He smiled and kissed you again, this time slower, gentler, as if savoring the moment. “Next time, don’t run off in a storm, okay? You scared me.”
“I won’t,” you promised, pulling him closer until there was no space left between you. “Just… stay here with me.”
"Always," he murmured, wrapping his arms around you tightly, his warmth seeping into your skin, soothing the chill from the storm.
He paused, glancing down at the both of you, still drenched from head to toe. A sly grin tugged at the corners of his lips. "Although, if we're going to be soaking wet, I can think of a better place for it than my bed..."
"Haku!" You swatted his arm playfully, though you couldn't stop the laugh bubbling up from your chest.
"What?" he said, entirely unrepentant, his grin widening. "We can either stay here, cold and wet..." He leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a low, teasing murmur, "...or we can be warm and steamy in the—"
You cut him off before he could finish, grabbing his face and pulling him into another kiss. This one was firmer, more insistent, as if to shut him up and prove your point all at once. Haku made a low sound of surprise before melting into it, his hands sliding up your back as he kissed you back with equal enthusiasm.
The playful tension between you turned into something deeper. His lips moved against yours, wet and slick from the rain but no less intoxicating, each kiss sending warmth flooding through you. His smirk faded into the kiss, replaced by something softer, something real, as if he wanted nothing more than to stay right here with you, soaked clothes and all.
When you finally broke apart, both of you were breathless, and Haku's eyes sparkled with mischief despite the flush in his cheeks. "Okay, you win," he murmured, brushing a strand of damp hair from your face. "This is definitely better."
"Much better," you agreed, your fingers still tangled in his wet hair. "Now shut up and keep kissing me."
"With pleasure," he said, laughing softly before leaning in once more, his lips finding yours again in the perfect mix of warmth, wetness, and passion, the storm outside forgotten entirely.
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intimidating-fettuccine · 6 hours ago
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This may be an odd request, but if you are into it, can I request headcanons of Smiley, Helen, and Jason (or characters you want to write) where their partner (reader) dies in front of them on a mission of something, but somehow and for some reason, time gets reversed to start at the beginning of the day, so their partner is alive and sleeping on their bed. Please and thank you!
I sort of imagined it as them going to sleep at the end of the day and waking up and it's the previous day, I hope that's okay <3 This request also made me remember Helen and his heart jar for his dead s/o so we're just gonna pretend that doesn't happen this time :p
This got so long I'm sorry I'm posting this so late-
Smiley:
He was never made for field work, with his preference for medical assistance at the mansion he was never meant to be standing out there in the field. He was never meant to watch you take that fatal injury, to do everything he could to save you out in the woods surrounding you and fail so miserably at it, much to his extreme distress. The following hours before he'd eventually passed out at his medical table had been a mash of absolute pain and misery, feelings he'd assumed he'd be waking up to once more the following morning, but instead, he was met with your beautiful face smiling at him. He'd thought he'd died himself for a moment, after all, he hadn't fallen asleep in bed, but here you are beside him, just as snug as you were the previous morning. It doesn't take long for him to realize what's happened, and Smiley isn't going to waste the chance before him. He's quick to come up with some bullshit but believable reason about why you can't go out on the mission you're meant to, citing doctor's orders and him needing to monitor a concern that came up on a pre-mission health check.
Nobody questions him, although you're left quite concerned by his actions. Nobody else can see it, but you can see the tenseness of his body, his eyes darting about anxiously, the heavy beating of his heart. You can tell he's worried about something, but he won't tell you what it is, he simply can't. He can't bring himself to admit what he saw, what he experienced, not when it's still too fresh in his mind. Perhaps he'll tell you later, but for now, he instead chooses to seek comfort in the fact that by the time the two of you go to bed that night, you're still safe and sound in his arms, just as you are the following, brand new morning, and nothing else other than that matters. It takes far longer than he thought to tell you what truly happened that day, why he refused to let you go on the mission, years down the line, and it's only with your comfort and love for him at that time that allows him to truly grieve and let go of those horrible memories. Suddenly all those days of him being more concerned about you going on missions makes sense, and you apologize for ever questioning his judgment or doubting him, promising to always come home safe to him, just as he does for you.
Jason:
The scream leaving his throat feels as though it should rip it apart, just as he feels like he's being ripped apart at the sight of your dying body crashing to the ground. Jason can barely tell what's happening in the next few hours, between trying desperately to resuscitate you, weeping for your death, and the others trying to keep him from doing something drastic. He barely realizes when he's falling asleep, his mechanical body simply powering off due to overcharge of his emotions, and when he awakes the next morning, he can't help but immediately begin sobbing once more when his eyes land on you. You're still in his satin sleep shirt, oversized on your body and revealing your skin just as it had the morning before, a sleepy smile resting on your cheeks as you gaze at him as he wakes up, but it's different this morning because now you're replaced with immense concern over his sudden outburst. You cradle him close and attempt to comfort him as best you can as he cries and crushes you against his body, so scared that any moment you could slip away again.
It must have been a dream, he reasons. A terrible, horribly bad dream, one that felt far too real, and so he tries to calm down, but he can't. Not when everything in the day progresses the exact same day, and so he shatters, begging you not to go on the mission. He tells you of his "dream", tells you of everything he saw, how he's scared it might actually happen, and you're so devastated by the clear distress he's in, so, of course, you switch out with someone else and stay home. He's so thankful you listened, so thankful a stronger creep took your place, considering the sorry state said creep was in when they got home. It could have been you, but it wasn't. Not this time, not ever again. Jason will never allow you to die in such a way, not now that he knows it's a definite possibility, no. He'll keep you safe and comfortable in his arms, safe from any dangers, just as he is right now, and will continue to do, for the rest of your life. He treasures you far too greatly to ever allow you to truly experience something like that again, and if he can help prevent it in any way at all, he will do so, for you, the love of his life, someone who deserves to live and die in peace.
Helen:
He had such an odd feeling. He'd elected to stay home last minute, as Slender had assumed not all of you would need to attend this mission. However, he felt this clawing, nagging feeling in his chest, and so he ran, ran faster than he ever had before, but he'd been too late. Your blood was fresh as you lay collapsed against a tree, your eyes unfocused as he sat before you. He tried everything he could to try and help you, but it was too late. Others had to find the two of you, as Helen had sat there before you for hours, crying and screaming, revealing emotions nobody other than you had ever seen before. He felt as though he should be dead, as though he should have died with you, but instead there he was, laying in your shared bed, now far colder than usual due to the lack of your body heat. So, if it had been so cold, why was it suddenly so warm when he woke up? Rare tears slip from his eyes as you snuggle into him, just as you had that morning, and he clutches you tightly. He feels as though some god out there must have finally taken pity upon him and done something good for him for once.
You ask what's wrong, and he simply asserts he'll tell you later, instead choosing to look after you that day, to be far more affectionate than usual. When Slender once again offers for someone to fall back, Helen disagrees, saying he has a bad feeling and that maybe someone extra should go to be safe, and so a few do, and Helen is so unbelievably thankful that he and the extra few went. He can't believe you were basically fighting all of these people by yourself, and he hates himself for so casually staying home. He kills the person who was meant to kill you with ease, and the mission is successful. You all make it home, and it's when you're cuddled up once more that night that Helen finally tells you what happened, how you had died, how it could have been his fault, how painful it was. You're momentarily confused, but with how earnestly he's retelling it, you feel as though it must have been true, and so you thank him for saving you this time, thank him for keeping you safe, and he swears to you that he'll continue to do so. For the rest of your careers for Slender, he'll always be there, on every mission, fighting to protect the one true blessing in his life.
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featherlight-touches · 2 days ago
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Ooh ooh maybe some lee Wanderer for the birthday boy? :)
(it doesn't have to be done by today obviously dw)
As for ler... I do love me some ler Aether
Just some platonic fluff :)
aaah! of course! I already started something for his birthday but got wrapped up in other things. Here it is! A big happy birthday to our Wanderer. 💚 I hope you enjoy!
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★・・・★・・・★・・・★
Wanderer sat perched in the branches of a towering tree beside the Sumeru Akademiya, his gaze distant as he lost himself in memories of past birthdays. He had once again slipped away on this day, his birthday, seeking solitude and peace away from the expectations and attentions of others.
The green leaves rustled softly around him, their gentle sounds a soothing balm to his troubled mind. In years gone by, he had celebrated this occasion surrounded by those he considered friends. But now, with the harsh sting of betrayal still fresh, those joyful times felt like a foolish dream, a naive illusion shattered by the cruel realities of the world.
With a solemn sigh, Wanderer closed his eyes, letting the sunlight dance across his face as he tried to push away the bittersweet recollections. He had learned the hard way that trust and companionship were fleeting and he refused to let his guard down again.
“There you are!”
A familiar voice was suddenly heard from below, piercing through his moment of attempted serenity. Wanderer’s eyes snapped open and as he peered down, he was greeted by the warm smile of Aether, who stood at the base of the tree.
“I’ve been looking all over for you!” Aether called up again, already beginning to climb up the tree without an invitation. The nerve.
Wanderer watched in silence as the traveller completed his ascend and then seated himself on the free spot beside him.
“No Paimon? That’s surprising.” Wanderer commented. “Aren’t you two usually attached at the hip?”
“She’s with Nahida right now. I said it would probably be better if I went to find you alone and she didn’t seem to mind.” Aether shrugged.
“Well, you found me, so you can head back now,” Wanderer dismissed, returning his gaze to beautiful view before them and missing the pout that formed upon Aether lips.
“Come on, I just got here. I didn’t even get a chance to say happy birthday yet.”
“Too bad. See ya’.”
“Don’t be like that!” Aether tried with a small laugh. “Why don’t you come down from here and spend some time with us?”
“I can’t think of anything else I would rather do less,” Wanderer confessed and smirked at the disappointed look that took over Aether’s face. “Did Lesser Lord Kusanali send you to come looking for me?”
“N-No, what makes you think that?”
“She suggested for me to do the same thing early this morning. To spend time with my new ‘friends’ and enjoy my birthday. I would hardly call these people my friends. If anything, they’re people who persist to gain my attention at any opportune moment.” Wanderer ranted, tilting the edge of his hat downwards to hide his face giving away any emotion on the matter. “To throw around the word friend so loosely is laughable.”
“What do you think it means to be someone’s friend?” Aether asked curiously, which caught Wanderer a little off guard. He took a moment to mull over the question, his mind reminiscing to the people who used to call his friends in a different time.  
Aether wondered if he hit a sensitive subject for the anemo user and cleared his throat to gain his attention again. “Well, I know we’ve had our differences, but I can confidently say that with everything we’ve been through together recently, I think of you closer to a friend than an enemy now.”
Wanderer’s eyes stared into Aether’s for a moment, searching for any insincerity but was surprised when he couldn’t find any. He seemed genuine, but Wanderer remained silent, letting the calm breeze flow between them in a rare moment of tranquillity.
“So…” Aether’s voice interrupted the silence. “How about it? Want to come down and spend time with us?”
Wanderer sighed. “You just had to ruin the moment, didn’t you?”
“It will be fun!” Aether declared, grabbing onto his wrist and attempted to pull him. Wanderer scowled at this attempt and tried to pull his hand back from his annoyingly strong grip. “Come on!”
“Let go!” Wanderer found himself being pulled into Aether’s lap, a hand coming up to remove his hat.  
When he turned to glare at the traveller, who now had his hat resting on his head instead, he saw the mischievous glint that flashed in Aether's eyes. Before he could question it, he felt fingers begin tickling at his sides and then danced along his ribs. Wanderer let out an involuntary laugh, surprised by the sudden playful assault.
“Whahahat are you dohohoing?!” Wanderer squirmed, trying to rid himself of the fingers that had him hostage. “Stohohop it!”
“Oooh, is somebody ticklish?” Aether teased in a particularly irritating sing-song voice. “Maybe this will convince you to spend time with us.”
Wanderer felt his face heat up through the teasing and found himself unable to respond through endless peals of laughter. He squirmed and kicked his legs to try and rid himself of the ticklish sensations shooting through his body but to no avail.
“Ae-Aether! Wohohould you- AHA! Nohoho!” Wanderer practically howled once Aether’s fingers reached his underarms. Aether had the audacity to laugh, which only added to the reasons Wanderer had to murder him there and then. “OKAHAY! Stohop! I YIELD!”
“So, you’re going to spend your birthday with us?” Aether paused to confirm, before letting his finger tap gently and teasingly along the tired male’s ribs, forcing an annoyed twitch.   
“You’re so annoying.” Wanderer growled, catching his breath from the laughter. “Fine. If it will stop you from torturing me, I’ll go with you.”
Aether giggled. “Great! Oh, and Wanderer?”
“What?”
“Happy birthday!”
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psilactis · 1 year ago
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I just watched the first Furiosa trailer and.... I didn't like it
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gallusrostromegalus · 2 years ago
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I was raised agnostic and tend to remain ambiguous on theological matters.
-but my house has a porch on the second story that affords me a terrific view of my neighborhood and the Colorado Front Range and I was partaking of some peace before the 4th Of July Finger-Loss Festivities begin, and I have had a
~*Spiritual Experience*~
I just watched my neighbor try to unload an actual wooden pallet that had to have been forklifted into the back of his insecurity pickup worth of fireworks.
Except that he does not have a forklift in his garage.
He does have so much sports memorabilia and cardboard boxes of unsold MLM Merchandise and patriotically themed camping gear and posters of women in bikinis and flags of suspect political organizations in his garage that there is only BARELY enough space for the fireworks and certainly none for his truck.
So he had to unload the individual boxes of recreational explosives from the back of his truck and stack them in the minimal space he had cleared by hand. This is a tedious and time-consuming process as this neighbor has purchased a wide variety of recreational and locally illegal explosives instead of many of just a few types, so the individual boxes are rather small.
He begins, and this is crucial to what happens next, by cutting apart the industrial-grade saran wrap his explosives dealer had so carefully wrapped his merchandise in, and discarded it unsecured on his lawn.
Where Outdoor Conditions sometimes happen.
His process for unloading the fireworks is to 1. Climb up through the gate into the bed of his pickup truck (a feat made unusually difficult due to the slope of his driveway, and this man's fascinating decision to wear the world's Siffest and least Flexible Denim Overalls. 2. Once in the pickup bed, he selects ONE (1) box from the pile He is apparently from a niche religious institution that doesn't believe in stacking things. 3. Carries it awkwardly around the palette that barely fits in the truck bed 4. His wife yells "Be careful!" when he nearly falls out of the pickup. 5. He Yells "SHADDUP!" back at her. 6. The Large German Shepherd barks from inside the house. 7. He yells "SHADDUP!" back at her too. 8. He sets the (1) box down on the gate 9. Slowly and awkwardly climbs out of the pickup bed 10. picks the box back up, and carries it into the garage.
Question: Aren't you going to help this poor man? Answer: Absolutely Not.
There's four military veterans, MANY dogs, and several people with dementia in this neighborhood, all of whom are terrified by this chicanery every year and many neighbors have repeatedly asked him to maybe do the fireworks somewhere else. (This is the Eighth Year Running he's held a major demolition event in his driveway, and for those of you who can do math, you may be able to guess the precipitating incident to this little ritual) Additionally, I live in Colorado, a state marginally less prone to spontaneous and catastrophic conflagrations than a rotting grain silo, but only marginally. Our recreational explosives laws are written accordingly.
I am in fact calling the Non Emergency line to report Fireworks violations, and reading off the brand labels to someone named Dorothy, who is gleefully totaling up a SPECTACULAR fine for my oblivious neighbor.
However, while I'm on the phone with Dorothy, I notice the wind begin to pick up. and by "Notice" I mean "The Industrial Saran Wrap he left on his Lawn earlier is suddenly swept up about 100 feet into the air by an updraft intense enough to make my ears pop" And by "Pick Up" I mean "I look up to see the sky has turned a fun and exciting shade of glass green, and the bottoms of the clouds are bumpy and rounded, and the overall effect is not unlike looking up through the bottom of the cup at God's Matcha Boba Tea."
For those of you who do not live in places with Inclement Weather, these conditions mean "You have about 30 seconds before a Major Meteorological Event Occurs."
I move under the eaves. "Hang on Dorothy." I say, nose filling with Petrichor. "The show is about to be cancelled." "Oh, that doesn't matter!" Dorothy cheerfully informs me. "It's illegal for him just to possess those, no matter if he actually gets to set them off or not." "Terrific, because he's gotten maybe five boxes out of a hundred inside."
Sometimes, the weather gods are Merciful and give you a verbal warning, typically in the kind of thunderclap that makes your ears ring.
The Gods were not merciful today.
It's not often that I am in the time, place, correct angle or in a properly observational frame of mind to see this, But I got to see it today. Huh. I thought. I've never seen a cloud just DIVE for the ground before. Oh. I realized as it got closer. That's RAIN.
Sometimes, a thunderstorm will form in such a way that the rain that would normally be distributed over an area of say, five to tent square miles, is instead concentrated into an area of say, my neighborhood exactly.
So today, I was granted the rare privilege of being able to actually see the literal wall of water descend from On High and DIRECTLY onto my porch, my street, and my neighbor's truck, and his pile of unwrapped fireworks.
The sheer impact force of the downpour immediately scatters the teetering pile of fireworks boxes in the back of the truck, like the wrath of God striking down the tower of Babel. Boxes tumble, then are washed out of the bed of the truck by the deluge. Smaller Boxes are carried down the road in a little line by the stream forming in the gutter, like little impotent explosive ducklings.
My neighbor was definitely yelling something, but I could not hear what over the DEAFENING noise several million gallons of water makes upon high-speed contact with the earth's surface, but there was a lot of arm-waving and faces turning red as he went looking for the saran wrap that had probably blown to Nebraska by now, while his wife started disassembling the complex three-dimensional puzzle of interlocking material goods in search of a tarp. They do not have a tarp. They have one of those wretched Thin Blue Line flags though, and my neighbor jogs out in a futile effort to cover what's left in the truck.
Which is when the hail begins.
"HELLO?" Yelled Dorothy. "HI!" I shouted. "WE'RE HAVING SOME WEATHER!" "OH GOOD!" she shouts back. "WE NEED THE MOISTURE!"
I watch for a minute longer, but the loss was immediate and catastrophic- the hail is the size of marbles and dense and cares not for your pitiful cardboard and cellophane, ripping the boxes asunder and punching holes in the few things covered in plastic. The colors on the Thin Blue Line Flag are seeping all over the remains of that it was supposed to protect in a particularly apt visual metaphor. Not even the few boxes that made it into the garage are spared, as the German Shepherd escapes from indoors, and in an attempt to assist her humans, jumps directly into the small stack of not-yet-ruined boxes, scattering them into the driveway and deluge. She even picks one up so her humans will chase her around the yard, before dropping it in the gutter to be swept away.
So. I was raised Agnostic -but even I can recognize when God slaps someone upside the head and shouts "NO!" at them.
---
(If you laughed, please consider supporting my Ko-fi or preordering my book of Strange Stories on Patreon)
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nikkento-writes · 4 months ago
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It starts with a distasteful joke from Gojo. "I bet Nanami's pretty vanilla in bed, am I right?" He nudges you playfully as he sips on his lychee mocktail in the restaurant. Your boyfriend excused himself to use the bathroom and Ieiri went out for a smoke, leaving you alone with Gojo, who you met for the first time just a little over an hour ago.
You're shocked that he'd even ask such a personal question, especially since your relationship with Nanami is still four-months fresh. Unsure how to respond, you simply laugh, not answering. When he continues to stare at you through his blindfold, your smile falters. "You're being serious?"
He smirks, clearly egging you on. "I just can't imagine our little strait-laced salary man being very fun in the sack. No offense."
You're torn between changing the subject all together into something less inappropriate and defending your lover's honor. And unfortunately for you, as the anger inside you begins to bubble at Gojo's tactless words, you choose the latter. "If you must know, he's very, very fun in the sack." You cross your arms over your chest, glaring at him. 
He shrugs, the shit-eating grin still on his face. "I just can't see it. But as long as you're satisfied, that's all that matters."
"I am very satisfied, thank you very much!" you emphasize, cheeks hot now, annoyed. Before you explode on him, Nanami and Ieiri return, so you try to contain your rage as much as possible throughout the rest of dinner.
You intend to keep his outrageous comments to yourself, not wanting to start any unnecessary drama, especially with Nanami who is above this type of ridiculousness. But remembering Gojo's smug expression makes you irate all over again. That night, while you're cuddling with Nanami, you share the story. "So, Gojo said something funny to me while you were in the bathroom." As you recount the short conversation from earlier, you keep it light-hearted, laughing about it as if it doesn't grind your gears (which it does). In all honestly, your sex life with Nanami is amazing, and while it's nobody's business but your own, you can't help being bothered that certain people think otherwise. 
When you're done, Nanami doesn't respond right away, processing it all before he speaks. "Interesting." His voice is steady, though you can sense a hint of annoyance in his tone. "He's an idiot," he adds, holding you closer, grazing his lips on your forehead. 
You giggle, snuggling into his chest. "I know."
"But...you are satisfied, right?"
The waver of uncertainty in his voice breaks your heart and you almost regret telling him. "Of course I am! You know I am!" you answer confidently, peering up at him.
He kisses your forehead. "You promise?"
Grabbing both his cheeks, you smooch him on the lips. "I promise."
Gentle kisses soon turn into sloppy ones as Nanami rolls on top of you, surrounding you in his strong and muscular body. It happens quickly; the blanket is shrugged off, clothes are stripped and scattered on the floor, your legs are spread wide for him as he eats you out voraciously, proving how much fun he can be in bed. He makes you orgasm twice like this, getting it nice and wet for his hard cock, throbbing in his fist as he strokes it. “Ride me,” he demands, laying on his back, licking his lips while you mount him.
You oblige, sinking down on his cock slowly, adjusting to his size. “Fuck, Kento,” you whine, wiggling on his lap until he bottoms out.
“Feels good, huh sweetheart?” He traces your mouth with his thumb, teasing it.
“Yes. So fucking good.” You suck on his fingers, rocking back and forth on his lap. 
He fucks you like this, his feet planted on the bed, bucking his hips up into you at a steady pace. Suddenly, his phone rings, interrupting for a moment. He glances at it, his expression tensing, showing you the name displayed on the screen: Gojo Satoru.
"Answer it," you say, grinding on him with a wicked smile on your face. "Prove him wrong."
For a split-second, he looks at you like you're crazy. But something in him snaps, probably the same thing that made you so angry earlier. Sometimes, you just want to prove yourself right. 
He picks up the phone, putting it on speaker. Gojo's voice rings out. "Nanami, I feel terrible. I said some inappropriate things to your girl - "
"Fuck me, Kento," you whine, bouncing on his lap as he thrusts up into you faster, entire body hot and electric with pleasure. 
Nanami has the phone in one hand and the other that was just in your mouth playing with your clit now. Through labored breaths, he says, "Sorry Gojo, I'm a bit busy being an absolute bore in bed. Isn't that right, kitten?" 
He holds the phone closer to you while you moan your boyfriend's name, your third climax of the night approaching quickly. "Kento, Kento, fuck me Kento!”
Satisfied, Nanami sets the phone down on the bed, gripping your hips to pound up into you, the squelching of his cock pummeling into your wet cunt so erotic and lewd. “Gonna fill you up, sweetheart. Gonna breed this slutty little pussy.” Over the edge now, he shoots his load inside you, letting out his own husky moans. He hastily lifts you off him to eat you out one last time, his cum leaking down from your cunt onto his chin as he sucks on your swollen clit until you come on his face, moaning obscenities incessantly. Completely spent now, you pull off him to cuddle, kissing each other messily as you both come down from your high. 
"Ahem." Gojo's voice startles you as you realize that neither he nor Nanami bothered to hang up the call. Horrified, the two of you wait with bated breath for his response, noting the suggestive ruffling in the background. "I apologize. I stand corrected."
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alexiroflife · 6 months ago
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how jjk men would react if they found out you sh…
Warning(s): cw//self harm, graphic depictions, mentions of depression, anxiety, sensitive content, angst/comfort
-> if you or anyone you know is struggling with self-harm, suicidal thoughts, depression, etc., know that you aren’t alone. as someone who used to struggle with these things myself, i understand how difficult it can be, but know that you are strong and you are loved. and thank you for the ask, this is a very important topic and i appreciate the vulnerability of the request. sending all the possible love in the world to all of you.
gojo, geto, nanami, toji, choso, sukuna
satoru gojo: satoru has an incredible sense of sight, thanks to his gift of the six eyes, as well as very keen observation skills. he picks up on little habits you harbor very quickly during the beginning of your relationship. you always choose to wear long-sleeved clothing, even when it’s warm, and you tug at your sleeves as though you are desperately trying to conceal a certain part of yourself from the outside world, from him. he doesn’t understand why at first. the thought crosses his mind that you just aren’t comfortable in sleeveless clothing, but you’ve shown him pictures of yourself from a decade ago when you’d wear variations of different tank tops, short sleeves, and more. he doesn’t understand what changed somewhere along the line. perhaps your sense of style has shifted? maybe you don't like your arms? (he can't understand how because he finds them to be the most gorgeous arms he's ever seen).
but no, something is nagging at him in the back of his head, churning the contents of his gut as though there is something he needs to know, to see that you were hiding, and when the moment unveiled itself, he instantly saw. 
you’re in your kitchen while satoru watches you from the other side of the island, leaning over and gazing at your movements with a soft smile. his blue eyes scattered across your body, admiring you while simultaneously searching for any clue, any answer to his hovering questions.
“where’d i put the containers,” you murmur to yourself in the midst of making lunch for the week, moving about your space rather slowly. 
satoru offers his own help, pointing a slender finger over to the space above your head. “did you check that cabinet?” he asks.
you turn over your shoulder and quirk your brow. “oh, do you live here now? suddenly know where everything is?” you ask playfully, a small smile rising to your lips as satoru chuckles. 
“not yet,” he winks. “but i sure am working on it, though. you know i have to make myself familiar with the space in case we share it someday.”
“is that so?”
“or, of that doesn't work out you could always live with me. i’d love to have you.”
“we’ve been together for three weeks, satoru.”
“yeah, but what does that matter when it comes to loveeee,” he pouts and you giggle, shaking your head as you turn back to reach for the cabinet. you stand on your tiptoes and reach out, sleeve of your sweet draping down to your elbow.
satoru is quick to his feet to help you, though you’re more than capable, when he catches the sight of what looks like a scar streaking over the inside of your wrist. his face falls and his brows angle, marching over to you quickly with a look of urgency on his face.
you don’t register how fast he is moving until you feel him behind you. you turn and look up, caught off guard by the way his eyes had hardened and his pupils shrank. your hand stalls on the cabinet handle, the scars on your arm completely slipping your mind momentarily.
“satoru? you okay?”
he doesn’t answer, grasping your wrist in his hand gently and pulling it down from above you. your eyes flicker up to the movement, and when you realize what is happening, your heart sinks. your eyes go wide and you try to tug your arm away, but satoru’s grip tightens slightly, extending your arm by your wrist to display the inside of your forearm before him. 
he thinks his vision is blurring over, his heart ringing in his ears, his breaths quickening as his eyes detail over the row of rigid scars lining from your inner elbow up to your wrist. his world collapses around him, lips stretching into a disbelieving grimace as his wild eyes survey the damage. some of those scars look newer than others, scabbing over with specs of purple, while the others are far older. 
you panic, trying to tug away again, but satoru’s grip on you is too secure. a lump forms in your throat as you search for things to say, anything to say that could take your boyfriend’s attention away, that could excuse the sight before him as something else. “s-satoru, wait-” you stammer, your voice weaker than you had intended it to be. 
satoru looks like he can’t hear you, nose flaring as he stares, and stares, and stares, and suddenly, your vulnerability is bare naked before him, on display for him to judge, to belittle, to curl his brows at and determine as pathetic and weak. you can feel yourself about to cry already, shaken by this sudden attention.
“satoru,” you whisper, arm trembling within his grasp.
“what is this?” he breathes out so quietly, his voice betraying himself and hardly reaching over a brush through the wind. when you do not answer, those pained eyes are on you, tormented by the sight he has just witnessed. “(y/n), what is this?”
you feel small, avoiding his eyes and looking all over the floor. “i- it’s nothing,” you murmur.
“nothing?” he repeats, as though he has been burned by your response. the white haired man quickly seeks out your other wrist, reaching down to your other side as you try to turn away, but he, of course, manages to seize it and extend it like your other arm and roll up that sleeve. the same row of scars litter your beautiful skin.
satoru’s a mess, frightened, confused, devastated. this is what you had been hiding from him all this time? “this isn’t fucking nothing, (y/n), they’re all over you! what did you do?”
you still can’t respond, you can’t muster up an excuse, you can’t do anything. satoru’s concern is far too overbearing, his gaze too intense, and his hold on you too secure. it feels like he has you laid out on a slab before him, stripped of your clothes as he examines your body with contempt.
he’s disgusted. he’s ashamed, you think. 
amid his grief, he catches the terrified look in your eye, your lips tugged downward as if to prevent yourself from crying. you look so scared.
how could he have not seen this sooner, that you’re hurting? that you’re hurting yourself? 
“baby, what did you do?” he repeats, softer this time as he leans down to look at you, your body trembling in his hold. his thumbs graze your inflamed skin, hesitant to touch you for fear that you may break.
“please don’t,” you breathe out in a huff, voice wobbling as you scrunch your eyes closed. “please, don’t look. just forget you saw it, please.”
“forget i-?” satoru has to stop himself from lashing out poorly, from allowing his emotions to overcome him in what he understands is clearly your moment of need. “how could you ask me to do something like that? (y/n), your arms, baby!”
“satoru, please-” you shake your head. you want to shrink away, to hide, to vanish into thin air. “i don’t wanna talk about it. please.”
“(y/n),” he exhales, closing his eyes to gather himself. “(y/n),” he repeats softly, hands releasing your wrists slowly and sliding up your arms to delicately hold your shoulders. “we can’t not talk about this. you have to tell me what’s been going on. you have to, baby, you have to understand how scared I am right now. help me understand. let me help you, let me take on whatever burden you’re carrying, please, I’ll do anything as long as it means you’re not hurting yourself.”
his hands move to your neck, cupping over the skin as he ducks his head down to look at you more clearly. 
“i can’t stand the thought that you’ve been- and i haven’t-” satoru was stumbling now, throat straining as the urge to cry rose. “why didn’t you come to me? i’m right here for you, (y/n), i always have been. why didn’t you tell me?”
“...it’s embarrassing,” you manage to say, your voice fragile, on the verge of breaking. you can feel your boyfriend’s eyes peering into you even with your own eyes closed. “didn’t want you to see… I didn’t wanna be a burden.”
satoru’s heart is breaking for you, hurt that you could even think of yourself as a burden to him. “have i- have i done or said anything to you to make you feel that way?” he asks genuinely, and you cringe, turning your head to the side to open your eyes.
“no, of course not.”
“then why would you think that, baby?”
you shrug helplessly, tears welling into your eyes. satoru sees you, all of you, his heart thrumming to capture the pain you feel and to lift it from your chest, to help you breathe even just a little bit. he releases a weighted sigh, one of sadness, of love, of heartache for you, and he’s pulling you into him as your arms dangle limply at your sides. 
you scrunch your eyes and immediately break down into him, sobbing into his shirt as his warm hands wash over your frame and cradle your head to him, the muscles in his face tight with anguish. he holds onto you like he’s horrified that you will fade away within his arms. 
“i’m just so tired, toru,” you cry into his chest, dampening the fabric of his shirt. “i’m sorry.”
satoru doesn’t respond, afraid that if he speaks, he’ll end up crying too. you’re his girl, his beautiful, loving girl, and the fact that you have done such harm to yourself is incomprehensible to him. if you love him so, how can you hate yourself enough to have done this?
“how long?” is all he can ask you, breath heaving into your hair and ear. you hesitate, for he already seems so wounded by his discovery. “tell me.”
“...two years…”
he’s crushed. how did he not see sooner? how could he have been so blind after having bragged about being able to see everything so clearly? how could he have left you like this?
he holds you tighter, digging his head into the crook of your neck and hunching over, your eyes now seeing over the curve of his broad shoulder. 
“i’m sorry, baby,” he apologizes to you in turn, fingers curling into your hair as he holds your scalp. “i'm sorry I wasn’t paying attention.”
you’re confused as to why he’s apologizing to you since the entire thing is your fault. satoru has a tendency to take on your emotions, piling them onto his own weight of carrying the title of the strongest. you never understood why he did so naturally and willingly, and why even now as you stood limply in his arms, he’s crying for the things you did to yourself.
he pulls away with shiny red eyes, gazing down into your shiny red eyes and tear stained cheeks. you’re so beautiful, he thinks. he hates that such beauty has been suffering in so much silence.
“(y/n), I love you more than anything in this goddamn world. please don’t- don’t keep doing this to yourself. if you’re hurting, come to me. hurt me if you have to lash out, but don’t hurt yourself beautiful.”
“i would never even think of hurting you, satoru.”
“then don’t think of doing it to yourself,” he says firmly, and you press your lips together. 
“…i-i don’t know how to… to stop,” you mumble, and he’s taking your hands in his and kissing them gently.
“i’ll help you. we can get you help, baby, I promise. just promise me, please,” he begs you, holding your hands close to his heart. “you come to me when you feel like doing that, okay? you come to me. and I’ll do whatever I can. let me help you. let me be there for you. i won’t let you push me out, (y/n).”
you're crying again, tears streaking over your face as satoru’s love captures you within his words, within his warmth as he forces you to understand that you are not alone, and never will be. 
satoru kisses your hands again. his lips reach your cheek, and his hand comes to tuck your head into his shoulder again, holding you and telling you that you have him to go to when your world grows dark.
geto suguru: if suguru could sum you up into one word, he would say that you're his universe.
everything in his life he does for the sake of you and his girls, for the sake of keeping you safe and making you happy. your happiness and your comfortability are the only things that suguru prioritizes above all else, making them his very goal to serve each and every day.
suguru's not the most stable, you know that and he knows that himself. he has his off days, where he falls quiet and the world around him numbs itself and the noise becomes a muffle in his ears until you step into view, giving him a smile and wrapping his big frame up in your small arms, your voice whispering to him and breaking through the fog. you're his sanctuary. you're his safe place, and he loves you so much. he owes his entire life to you, therefore ensuring that you feel just as loved as you make him feel is very important to him.
so when he catches sight of the scars on your stomach one day by accident, when you lift up mimiko to sit on your shoulder as nanako jumps up for you to pick her up to, and her shoe kicks up your shirt from your waist momentarily, suguru freezes.
are you hurt? did someone do this to you? did you do this to yourself?
countless thoughts are racing through suguru's mind as he stares at you in a daze, watching you laugh so joyfully along with the girls as though no trouble plagues you.
but there is. you've just been hiding it. hiding it far too well.
his mind is elsewhere for the rest of the day, unsure of if he had been imagining things or not. he knows you so well, or at least he thinks he does. how have you been hiding those marks littering your lower abdomen? how had he missed them?
he thinks back to the moments you two were intimate and recalls that you never wanted to remove the tanktop you wore or let him kiss further than your ribs. he recalls the days you all went to the beach and you kept a white shirt over your swimsuit or elected to wear a onepiece. he recalls how quickly you change when he's with you, your back turned to him as you rush to throw something on over your upper body.
the signs... they're all there. you've been hiding yourself from him, but why? what have you been doing? have you truly been harming yourself, or is that thought a trick of suguru's worst fears?
he tries to keep himself calm around you and the girls for the remainder of the day until they are put to sleep and the two of you are alone again.
you sit on the edge of your shared bed, rubbing lotion over your arms with your back facing suguru again. he watches you carefully, back resting against the headboards and hazel eyes trained on your figure as though you aren't real.
he waits for the proper moment, waiting for you to crawl up and curl under his side, his arm subconsciously wrapping over your waist as your head lays on his chest. he stares at the ceiling for a moment, thinking as weighty silence overcomes you, then he's cautiously speaking.
"(y/n)?"
the soft call of your name brings your head up to peer at him curiously, blinking innocently. he turns down to look at your face and his heart clenches. while he knows that he knows what he saw, he doesn't want to believe it. he doesn't want to think that you, such a selfless and caring person for him, would hurt yourself.
you hum up at him, wondering what he has called you for. you see the pensive look in his face, the subtle knit in his brow as he stares at you, gears in his head turning. "yeah sugu?" you say gently.
he doesn't want to ask, but he has to. he doesn't want the confirmation, but he needs to know.
"i want to ask you a question..." he says, and you grow slightly befuddled.
"...okay?" you start. "is it serious?"
"yeah, it is," he admits, and you suddenly grow nervous, immediately catching an idea of what this could be about. you don't like the look on his face, the way he appears so serious.
"...alright," you mumble, suddenly meek.
the black haired man stares for a few more moments, just looking at you, taking in your the features he feel so deeply in love with, the features that bring him comfort and peace. "i saw something earlier, when you were holding mimiko," he begins softly, thumb caressing your back to ease you into the conversation.
you feel your heart jolt anxiously, trying to keep a straight face so as to not give your nerves away, but knowing suguru, he could likely already tell that you're getting antsy.
you lift your head to look at him, hand resting over his chest, and his eyes follow you smoothly. his eyes are focused, lips in a firm line.
"your shirt lifted, and i saw your stomach. i saw some marks. a lot of them, actually," he says, and you still completely, like a deer caught in headlights. his hand presses gently into your back, trying to keep you present with him as his concerns grow worse when he sees you stiffen against him. he frowns, denial still taking hold of him. "(y/n), please tell me those aren't what i think they are," he sighs heavily.
you feel caught.
you knew that suguru would find out at some point or another, but that didn't make this moment any less horrifying for you. it's so quiet in your room, so isolating, no background noise of the girls giggling or the distant buzz of the tv to help weaken the intensity of this point in time. you feel like a spotlight is shining overhead, an audience awaiting eagerly for you to reveal your secrets to the crowd.
suguru sits up slightly, his calmness gradually shifting into terrified incredulity. your eyes are on his face but your gaze is elsewhere, far off. you look uncomfortable, stuck, and no explanation hits suguru's ears.
"(y/n)," he says your name again, looking desperately down at you. "tell me i'm wrong."
you wish you could, you really do, but you can't lie to suguru. he knows you too well, he loves you too much, and to lie to him would be like denying his understanding of who you are.
you feel your skin flush with shame and anxiety, heartbeat likely loud enough for your boyfriend to hear.
you worry. you worry about your boyfriend's judgment, for his reaction. is he going to be angry with you?
"hey," he snaps you out of your daze with the drag of your chin, forcing you to meet his eyes as he stares at you helplessly. you look at him and frown, ashamed that you are the reason he looks so pained. "what's going on?"
the question comes out so delicately, it makes your heart break. a whisp of understanding blends into his tone with empathy, yet a crushing sense of sadness and guilt that overpowers the aforementioned emotions. you struggle to look him in his kind eyes, dreading his consolation that you feel you don't deserve.
"talk to me, (y/n)."
you chew angrily on the inside of your lip, looking down at your finger as you pick at his shirt. he watches your brows furl, an array of different feelings capturing your features. "i was gonna tell you about it..." you murmur, and suguru is floored.
"what?" he breathes out as though he has no more air. you wince, lowering your head. "you-" he pauses, mind jumping from one place to another. "you did that to yourself?"
"i'm sorry, i-" you can feel your throat growing tight. "i've been trying to-"
"to stop?" he tries to finish for you, grasping for any kind of explanation. he's devastated, not only because you've been harming yourself, but because you've been so busy looking after him and the girls that he hasn't noticed. you're the one who always comforts him, but while you've been doing that, you've been aching on the inside and trying to hide it.
you nod meekly when he concludes for you. "i just- i thought the feelings would go away, so i didn't say anything, but they're just getting worse and i don't know what to do anymore and i only feel better after i..."
"(y/n)," he stops you gently, his heart shattering upon listening to you ramble, spilling out the things you have been holding onto for what he assumes to have been so long. "you've been dealing with this all this time?"
"...it's on and off," you confess. "some days are better than others, but..."
suguru finds your words familiar, for he often finds himself in the exact same mindset; feeling functional and confident some days, and others, not so much, but you're the reason why he's able to handle his bad days, yet he hasn't been the same for you for as long as the two of you have been together.
he feels almost sick. he loves you to death. you're his everything, but you've been in pain, and he hasn't seen it.
the way he's looking at you now makes you feel guilty, remorseful, embarrassed. you know you should have told him, but you could never find the strength to. you had always been too scared. and the longer you self-harm, the less you are willing to admit to yourself and to your boyfriend that you have a problem.
you're shocked, though, when suguru's hands tighten over you and his face grows bitter, not with you but with himself. "how could i have been so stupid?" he grumbles, distraught. "and so selfish? all this time, you-"
"no, suguru, please, it's not your fault," you try to tell him.
"i should have seen, baby, i should have noticed something sooner. and all this time, instead you've been looking after me when i should have been looking after you."
"don't say that, suguru," you shift, looking sadly into his eyes. "it's my fault. i'm the one who did this, i'm the one who's to blame. i'm the stupid and selfish one, not you."
suguru's frown deepens, sad eyes looking over your face. you blame and belittle yourself just as easily as suguru does, and he can't stand it. he can't stand to see you like this, to be so aware of hurt before him. he wants, no, he needs to take all that pain away from you. he needs to exorcize it, rid your body of it, cast it away so that you can be happy from now until the rest of time. he needs you to be okay.
"i swear on my life, (y/n)," he begins firmly, eyes boring straight into yours, holding your cheek. "i will do everything in my power to get you through this. whatever it takes, no matter how long it takes, i will be here for you. you're not alone, you understand? you don't need to pretend for me. the girls love you- god i love you so fucking much, and i can't stomach to think of the times you've suffered in silence for my sake. i'm no good if you're no good, baby. i need to know these things, i need to be able to help you."
your nose twitches and your jaw clenches as you look into him, breathing growing unstable. suguru has always been so generous and so loving. he has a way with his words and how safe they make you feel even during your worst moments.
"but what if i can't do it, sugu?" you whisper, his thumb catching the tear that leaks from the corner of your eye. "what if i'm not strong enough to get better?"
"you are strong enough," he affirms confidently. "more than strong enough. and when you feel weak, lean on me. but you have to promise me something."
you nod slowly, mutely, keeping his gaze as he stares at you lovingly, wistfully.
"promise me you won't do it," his words come out as a quick, hasty breath. his brows curl further upward, his desperation plain on his pretty face. "promise me you'll let me know as soon as you want to, but don't hurt yourself again, (y/n). don't do it. i'm begging you. you don't deserve that pain."
though you are unsure if you can even make that promise to yourself, you force yourself to try. for suguru's sake. "okay," you mumble, and he sighs, kissing you softly and pulling you to his chest to whisper sweet nothings as his hands soothe over your stomach and your back.
nanami kento: you twist your fingers around each other as you sit in the living room while kento cooks in the kitchen. you're nervous, more nervous than you have been about anything in your entire life, but you know that you need to rip off this bandaid to approach your boyfriend about such a serious matter.
recently, you find yourself returning to the old habit that you believed to have been relinquished. you thought that you had gotten better, that the urge to self harm had completely gone away after having spent so much time in therapy trying to heal, but recently, you've been feeling down again, useless, angry with yourself. you didn't want to tell nanami at first because you didn't think that your current mood would go beyond feeling depressed, but now that you've started scratching away at your thighs and your arms again, you know that you need to let him know what's going on. you know that you can't go on like this anymore.
but you have no idea what to say.
nanami has been nothing but doting toward you, bringing you flowers every morning, making your meals, ensuring that you remember to schedule doctor's appointments or to keep yourself warm when it's cold out- the man's life revolves around your comfortability, and while you know he would be far more offended if you keep this to yourself, you're horrified to see his reaction when you tell him that you relapsed.
nanami is well aware of your past difficulties with your mental health, and he always tells you that if you are ever in a dark space again, he needs to know. even so, he hasn't been with you when you're like this. the two of you got together after the multiple therapy visits that helped you to shift mindsets, so now that you feel this way again, and while in a relationship with nanami no less, you feel petrified.
you don't even notice when he rounds the kitchen counter to make his way over to the dining table, setting down two plates of food. he looks over and catches the way you stare ahead blankly, lost in thought. you've been doing a lot of that lately and he wonders if something is wrong.
nevertheless, he knows that if something is bothering you, you'll tell him. "sweetheart, dinner's ready," he calls out, and you snap your head over to him, his voice bringing you out of your daze.
you stand wordlessly, movements somewhat robotic, as you slowly make your way over to the table. "thanks, ken," you say softly, lacking your usual energy, and at this point, your partner knows for certain that something is off.
he watches you carefully as you sit down, pushing in your seat for you and pecking your forehead before sitting down next to you. "tell me how your day was," he starts, brushing off his hands and reaching one out to rest one on your knee as he always did at the table. he's prying, you can tell, trying to learn if something that happened throughout the day affected your mood.
your heart is hammering loudly, your eyes stuck to the plate and unable to look up at him. "it was okay," you respond.
"just okay?" he questions and you nod slowly. "did something happen?"
you flicker your eyes up to his brown ones suddenly, caught off guard by the question. he sees the questioning in your eyes and replies accordingly.
"you seem to be a little off, this evening, that's all."
you hum, unsure of how to respond to his observation. you look away again, contemplating. just say it, you think. just tell him, just get it over with.
as you struggle against yourself, nanami only grows more concerned. you don't confirm or deny his comment, and the way you turn away has him wondering if he's done something to hurt you.
"did i do something wrong, darling?" he asks.
you furrow your brows and quickly shut down the idea. "no, no. not at all, ken. it's nothing you did."
"then... there is something troubling you?"
you stall a bit more now that you're on the spot, cursing the fact that kento is always so quick to pick up on the smallest changes in your demeanor.
"(y/n)?" he calls you when you don't answer.
"i have to tell you something," you say abruptly. you see nanami's brows raise ever so slightly, soft brown eyes looking over your face in an attempt to read the situation before you tell him anything. "it's... a lot. so i need you to just... bear with me. and please don't be mad."
nanami's brow twitches slightly as he looks at you, head tilting. he grabs the bottom of his chair and shuffles it closer to you, leaning over slightly and running his hand over where it resides on your knee.
"i could never be mad at you," he tells you earnestly, as though it's the most honest thing he's said in the world. "what's the matter, my love?"
god, he's so sweet to you it makes you physically ill that you have to break this news to him.
"...do you remember when we talked about... um..." your voice fades off, nanami's concentrated gaze only making you more nervous for what his reaction will be.
"take your time," he encourages you, and you only feel worse.
you return to chewing on the inside of your lip anxiously, picking at your shirt under the table. the blonde man beside you is ever so patient, allowing you to gather your thoughts before you verbalize them.
"...um...it's.... about what we talked about a while ago..."
"...and that would be regarding?"
"my... past."
nanami furrows his brows, still not quite understanding. "i apologize, honey, what about your past?"
just rip the bandaid. just rip the bandaid.
"my past with self-harming," you rush out, and the weighty silence that follows is enough to make you want to sink into the floor and let it swallow you whole.
you can feel his eyes burning into you, processing what you just told him, and all you can hear is the pound of your heart in your ears as his hand stills upon your knee.
nanami, on the other hand, is completely shocked by your revelation. while he understands that your relapsing has always been a very realistic possibility, he never wanted to entertain the idea that it could very much so happen- at least, not while he's around.
a sense of fear grips him. are you going to tell him that you relapsed? have you already hurt yourself? has he failed to be there when it happened??
"did you-" he doesn't know what he wants to ask, or how. he hates that he is already jumping to conclusions, but the way you are structuring this conversation with him only leads him to believe the worst. "what happened?"
your head hangs low and your fingers taut on your shirt, lips tightening as they press together. you can hear the disbelief in his voice already, and it breaks you.
"i relapsed."
the brown-eyed man clenches his jaw, falling completely silent once more to not react in a way that may worsen your state. you feel his hand tighten into a fist over top of your leg as he lowers his head, rubbing his eyes with his fingers and inhaling sharply. you feel like a child who is awaiting punishment as you look at his hunched state, a million questions of what he will do next running through your mind.
you hate to do this to him. nanami already has so much on his plate, you know this is the last thing he needs to be stressing over. you wish you could be okay for him. it's not his fault that your mind takes you to these places, and you don't want him to bear responsibility as though it is his doing. even so, you already know that he will because that's the type of man kento is. that's the type of boyfriend kento is.
you wait a few more moments in unbearable muteness. after what feels like forever, kento lifts his head again and rests his chin on his fist, elbow propped on his knee. he's looking to the side, deep in anguished thought. he no longer looks surprised, but rather guilty and frustrated. "when?" is the first thing he asks.
"yesterday," you answer dejectedly, and he almost jerks, his body twitching in reaction. "...are you mad?"
nanami looks at you and his hardened expression immediately softens into something melancholy. "no- no, of course not, (y/n), no," he shakes his head as if the notion is unfathomable, releasing his fist to cup your knee again more securely. "i will never be angry with you for what you're going through. never. no, i'm not mad."
you nod quickly, a meek sense of relief and sorrow taking over you, a weight heaving from your chest upon letting it out. "okay," you whimper.
"come here, my darling," he coaxes you softly, opening and grabbing your hand from under the table delicately to lead you to stand over him. his hand guides over the small of you're back once you're up, leading you to sit on his lap with your back pressed against the table and your legs dangling over one side of his chair.
he holds your forearms gently, looking up at you with sad, understanding eyes. "are you comfortable showing me?" he murmurs so intimately, easing you into his warm consolation.
you don't nod or answer him verbally. instead, you wordlessly roll up the sleeve of your sweater to reveal angry red scratch lines running up your inner forearm. nanami's lips curl in pain as though he can feel the sting of your scars, holding your arm gently for him to look over it.
the sight kills him, though he tries to keep his cool. this isn't about him, it's about you, but goodness, the image of the scars on your beautiful skin makes him hurt like no other pain he's experienced.
"is this all of it?" he asks you, and you shake your head.
"there's some on my thighs," you mutter, looking down.
he nods. "alright," he sighs. "alright."
"...i know you have so much on your plate already... i just-"
"don't. don't even," he stops you, eyes still roaming over your irritated skin. nanami usually commends himself for remaining collected in times of crisis, but he's desperately fighting a part of him that wants to yell out and cry for the sake of you.
he imagines you struggling with this on your own, long before he came into your life, and the thought makes him cringe to picture just how far this must have gotten. these scratches he is surveying now already look bad enough. were the other ones worse?
"(y/n), you know this isn't okay," he looks up at your face and sees how you are avoiding his eyes. you look so small compared to how you usually carry yourself, and it kills him. "to harm yourself like this... you can't treat yourself this way, darling, you know you can't."
"i know," you mumble. "i just had a moment, and now i'm scared that- that i'll go back to how things were."
"as long as i'm with you, you won't. i promise you that," nanami swears. "it was just this one time since you last?"
you nod. "yeah..."
"okay," he nods once more, convincing himself that this is something he can help stop before it gets any more out of hand. "why'd you do it this time, my love? what were you thinking that led you here? is there something i can do differently? is it work? is it a combination of things?"
"i wish it were that easy to explain, kento," you frown, glancing up at him helplessly. "but it's just... it's just a feeling i can't put into words. i can't pinpoint the source. i just... one minute i felt like i couldn't breathe, and the next i was..."
"okay," he repeats, letting you know that you no longer need to say anything more. you don't have to revisit it. he understands. he will take care of it. he'll help you. "okay, darling. how about this. i call off of work tomorrow and we can sit and talk about seeing a new therapist. then we can go out and do whatever you want. just for fun. does that sound okay with you?"
your nose flares and your lips tug to the side as you nod, truly not comprehending how you managed to find a man so patient with you. "yeah, that's good," you say softly, and nanami is at least relieved that you are willing to take further steps into a better direction.
"good," he whispers, rolling the sleeve of your sweater back down so that you no longer feel exposed or feel like you have to think any more about the things you did to yourself when you felt alone. "it's alright, my love. we'll get through it. you'll get past this just like you did last time," he encourages you, moving to caress your shoulder lovingly as you hold his gaze. "it's okay," he tells you again, and you nod weakly, leaning over to plop your head against his shoulder.
nanami holds you to him and exhales, food completely forgotten. his only priority now is to be there for you in the ways he could not before the two of you met.
"thank you for telling me."
choso kamo: choso worships the ground you walk on because he can not fathom a world without, nor the fact that you happened to stumble into his life on a whim. to imagine you hurt is the very worst thing that the man can think of, and the notion that you would hurt yourself is beyond his comprehension.
you aren't actively trying to hide any of your scars when he finds them. the scars are old, faded reminders of the pain that you used to endure and how you attempted to cope with it. while you are now six months free of self harming, the scars remain very present.
choso happens to catch sight of your scars when you are getting changed. he's sitting at the edge of your bed, face flushed, as he watches you blissfully change out of your pajamas and into clothes that you feel are best suited for a walk to the ice cream shop that choso has proposed. it's a bright sunday afternoon, and the brunette is eager to take advantage of the weather with the woman he holds close to his heart as well as his baby brother, who the two of you intend to meet at the store.
you're now dressed in nothing but a large white shirt and underwear, your legs bare as you strut around the space freely. choso's jade eyes follow you as you walk, completely obsessed with the way you move. he could watch you do the most mundane things for hours, which he truthfully tends to do anyway.
your back is to him before you round the bed, disappearing into the bathroom momentarily before coming back into the living room. choso's eyes still don't leave you, tracing over your face down your figure and finally to the front of your bare legs.
he falters, and his brows draw together when he catches dark marks littering over your inner thighs, only revealing themselves with the movement of your limbs as you walk.
the pale-skinned man grows confused and slightly concerned. he's never seen those marks on you before, and simultaneously, never on anyone else he knows either. he finds them to be a strange form of battle scars, especially due to the placement, the small size, and the sheer number of them. some of them take different shapes too, blurring together or over each other, while some stand out alone. they almost look like burns, but it's hard for choso to really tell.
you proceed about your business, searching through your drawer to pull out a skirt, when choso speaks up.
"love? what are those?" he asks curiously, perplexed.
you turn over your shoulder, shutting your drawer closed with your foot. "hm? what's what, cho?" you ask him, unsure of what he's referring.
choso, still slightly flustered by the vision of your half exposed body, nods his head into the direction of your lower legs. "those," he says again, and you look down, still lost.
you lift your foot momentarily, checking to see if something is stuck under or on top of it. you then survey the rest of your body, searching for something out of the ordinary. "uhhh," you trail off. "i'm not sure what you mean, baby. you're talking about my legs?"
you are far too desensitized to and familiar with the image of your scars to process that choso has never seen them before. the brunette, however, is unsatisfied, wanting an answer that you have yet to provide.
he leans forward, lifting his hand and pointing his finger directly to a patch of dark spots peeking out from your inner thighs. you follow his gaze, eyes landing on the culprits, and your shoulders drop in realization. "oh," you say shortly, choso retracting his hand.
he looks at you innocently, awaiting a response while you try to figure out how to explain this sight to him.
you don't want to worry him, but knowing choso, if you lead with the fact that these scars are there because you inflicted them onto yourself, he would have a heart attack, failing to find reason to your words.
even so, you know choso only wants to understand you as much as you desire to understand him. he wants to see the ugly parts as well as the beautiful parts of you that he is so drawn to, and if you hide it from him, that would only create a rift in your budding relationship that you aren't entirely too keen on creating.
you want him to know you, all of you, and these scars are as much of a part of you as the bones in your body and the blood pumping through your skin.
they're a sign of what you've been through, what you've overcome, and who you are now. they're important, and choso should know why they are there.
"that's a good question," you sigh, putting your skirt on the bed as you move to sit next to him at the edge of it. choso immediately turns to you, glancing over the marks shamelessly now that he has a better view of them.
"did someone do that to you?" is the first thought that crosses his mind, red drifting into his vision at the mere idea that someone has hurt you in such an intimate way.
"...no," you shake your head, lifting one leg up onto the bed, brushing his own, as the other dangles. "i put them there. a while ago," you explain honestly.
choso scrunches his brows tighter, eyes flickering up to your face then back down to try to identify what exactly the marks are. "what are they?" he repeats.
you exhale, puckering your lips as you prepare yourself for this difficult conversation. "they're burns, cho. from a match," you tell him.
now, the half-curse is incredibly confused. burn marks? on your lovely skin? in a place where only you could reach? put there by yourself?
you burned yourself?
"i don't understand," he frowns, shifting to face you better. "why would you..."
"i used to be in a really bad place, baby," you purse your lips, watching as his face contorts with consternation as he comes to understand that you purposefully harmed yourself.
"what do you mean? bad enough to do this to yourself?" he sounds mortified, his voice growing ragged the moment his tone picks up volume.
his pupils, moments ago blown pools of affection, are now shrunken dots of shock.
"don't look at me like that," you beg him, placing your hand over his own. his eyes snap to the sudden contact, then back to you with concern. "sometimes, when certain people are suffering from depression, or anxiety, or just overall bad thoughts and they feel like they have to... break out, or maybe punish themselves in a sense... they resort to hurting themselves."
choso gulps, lump forming in his throat as he listens to you with shaking eyes. "and that's what you did? you felt like you needed to punish yourself?"
"it's hard to explain to someone on the outside. i know it sounds... crazy, but it was the only way i knew how to cope with everything that i was dealing with."
"why didn't you come to me instead?" he immediately asks and you give him a sad, knowing look.
"because, we didn't know each other then, cho?"
"i don't care," he shakes his head, eyes keeping yours. "you should have found me."
the idea brings a hint of a smile to your lips, choso's sweetness warming your heart. "i didn't know who you were, baby, that would have been like begging a stranger for help."
"so?" he scoffs. "i loved you the moment i met you. it wouldn't have made any difference to me.
you sigh again, bringing your other hand to rest over top of your boyfriend's as you smile softly at him in an attempt to get him to calm down.
the panic is still written all over his face as he takes in your smile, the vision somehow only making him sadder. you're so gorgeous, inside and out, and that smile is only scratching the surface of your unending beauty.
to know now that your radiance was once outweighed by the torment in your mind encouraging you to harm yourself... well, it makes choso want to ball his eyes out. it makes him want to confront the physical manifestation of your past traumas and pummel it into the ground, bashing its head in for all the hurt that it has caused you.
"i ended up just fine, cho," you reassure him.
"why didn't you say anything before? were you trying to keep it from me?"
"no, baby, i just didn't think to tell you. i kinda forgot about them," you say, and that comment alone makes choso soften his features slightly.
"you forgot..." he recites your words. "does that mean you're better now?"
you hum in affirmation, smiling warmly. "it's been a while since i've hurt myself or done anything like that. i got through it. i'm okay now, these scars are just a permanent reminder of the past."
his frame sags slightly with relief, brows lifting as he looks over you with a blank expression. "i think i understand," he mumbles, looking back down at the marks. "i'm sorry you ever had to go through any of that."
"it's not your fault. you weren't there."
"i wish i had been. so i could have helped more. i know you said you're better, but maybe if i had been there i could've stopped you from hurting yourself at all."
"i wouldn't put that responsibility onto yourself, cho. it was my responsibility."
"still," his brows arch slightly. "i would have stuck with you every second of every day to make sure that you never had a second alone to do any of it. i wouldn't have let you, and i won't let you now." a thought seems to pop into his head when he finishes his last sentence. "you wouldn't go back to trying to hurt yourself, (y/n), would you?
you exhale. "i mean, i'd like to think i wouldn't, but sometimes these things aren't linear," you admit. "i just know that for now, i'm okay."
"the second you're not, though, you'd tell me?"
"yes. i would."
"you promise?"
"i promise, baby."
"okay," he sighs. "because i don't think i'd be able to function knowing you're upset."
the brown haired man leans over, carefully holding your thigh as he looks over your marks again, no longer flustered by your bare skin but entirely focused on the severity of your burns. you look down at him, hands slipping from his own as he surveys you closely like he's a doctor.
"they don't hurt anymore, do they?"
"nope. just scarred."
choso looks at you for a bit longer in silence before looking back up at you from his hunched state. "can i kiss them?"
you laugh softly, hand falling into his hair at you gaze at him with your heart aglow. "you want to kiss them?"
he nods. "so they can feel loved."
you coo, thumb smoothing over his temple as his eyes swell with adoration right before you. "of course you can."
toji fushiguro: toji is absolutely no stranger to scars. he's a human man with no cursed energy, having had his fair share of close calls on risky jobs that have left him with slashes over his calves, small pierces in his flesh, and cracked callouses. then, of course, there's the scar on his mouth bestowed upon him by his oh-so-loving family, which will be stuck with for the rest of his life.
scars follow toji like moths follow a flame, and he's numb to it. he believes that they are a part of life, both physically and mentally, especially with the kind of life that he leads. whether the wound is a large one or a small one he can barely see, he accepts scars as a part of who he is-
who he is.
while toji likes to parade around with a hardened exterior decorated with faded, scabbing wounds, that is something he deems fit for him and him only. he doesn't care what other people do with their lives as long as they leave him the hell out of it, but for the love of all the money that he has acquired over the years slaughtering sorcerers, he will be damned if he finds a single, tiny little scratch on your body.
scars are for toji, not for you, his darling little girlfriend and the day he finds out someone has hurt you enough to leave behind a mark is the day he's putting several bullets into the culprit's head.
toji's worst fear, though he hardly discusses it, is losing you and watching you get hurt. god, he practically lives to protect you, and to feel as though he has failed to do so would wound him detrimentally. he's a tough guy, but you make him so soft, and admittedly he wouldn't want to be soft for anyone but you. you're his rock, his little hot head, and he loves you more than life itself.
if you're hurt, he will lose it.
therefore, when he finds out that you're self-harming? oh, he's on the verge of losing his fucking mind.
he does a double-take when you step out of his room and into the kitchen with a towel wrapped around your body, his eyes widening and his brows arching immediately.
now, toji knows your body inside and out. he's explored every inch, he knows every crook, every crevice, every mark, every texture, and he has never once in the six months you have been together seen the red lines over your inner wrist.
he watches you with twisted lips as you grab an orange from the counter before walking back into his direction. you're almost back into the room when toji calls you.
"uh uh," he stops you, and you pause, turning over your shoulder and purposefully moving your left wrist to press into your towel.
"what?"
"come here," he orders and you give him a strange look.
"why?"
"i wanna see somethin'. come here."
you're quick to snap back easily with your own sarcastic retort, clearly in a foul mood over something. "if you want to fuck, can you wait until i'm fully dried off and after i finish this?' you hold up the orange in your other hand, a perturbed look on your face.
"i don't want to fuck, (y/n), i want you to come here."
toji's voice comes out sternly, and on the verge of anger. you survey his posture, his arms leaning over his legs as he cranes to look at you with a suspicious, firm expression. you can tell that he's serious, and a sudden sense of fear overtakes you that you mask with annoyance.
you don't say a word when you slowly walk up to him, crossing your arms over your chest to conceal your wrist, the hand holding the orange tucked under your elbow.
"what is it?"
toji holds out his palm. "give it."
"...my orange?"
"put it in my hand."
you huff, carefully maneuvering your arm around to keep your inner wrist pointed toward your body as you bring forward the orange and plop it aggressively into his hand. toji watches your other arm the entire time, taking clear note of how you refuse to let your wrist show, and you know you're fucked.
the green-eyed man tosses the orange to the side of the couch and holds out his large palm again, eying you intensely. you look down at him with a frustrated frown, shrugging. "i don't have anymore oranges."
"don't be cute, doll."
"what? do you want my hand?"
"you know i want your hand."
you roll your eyes, raising the hand you had held your orange with when he stops you. "not that one. the other one."
your heart pangs, shaking your entire body as he looks to you expectantly. how the fuck had he managed to notice the scar on your wrist so quickly?
the moment you hesitate, he knows that what he saw earlier is something to be concerned about. you normally never hide yourself from toji, and the way you go about hiding your arm now is defensive enough to raise several brows. he knows you're not dumb, too. he knows that you know exactly what he wants to see.
"(y/n)." he cocks a brow, the severity of his demeanor only making you more uneasy.
he can't see. he can't see what you've just done. he'll hate you. he'll look at you like you're crazy.
"what if i don't want to give you my hand?"
"then i'll just grab it for you, and i don't think either of us wants to go there."
you release a trembling, aggravated breath. you can't get away with anything when toji's around, and while you ponder having chosen to get an orange later, you know deep down somewhere you wanted toji to see. you wanted him to help you, which is why you walked out of that bathroom half an hour after having put those scars on your arm.
"hand, now."
you turn your eyes away with a grunt, slapping your wrist into his hand facing downward. toji is quick to whip it upside once he has a grip on you, and his eyes seem to freeze over the sight of three fresh slices on your upper forearm up close.
his jaw clenches, then unclenches, then clenches and unclenches again as his lips twitch and his eyes adjust to the vision. you're hurt. not only are you hurt, but it looks as though you've recently been hurt. you've hurt yourself.
toji has a hard time figuring out what to do. he's not good with things like this, but he knows that seeing you with scars on your arm is quite literally about to set him off. he always imagined having to defend you from others who seek to hurt you, but never having to defend you from yourself.
he can't fathom it. he's struggling, the muscles in his eyes are twitching, and he can't handle it. he can feel his heart begin to race, unsure if he is angry or scared or mortified or devastated.
there are three lines in your arm. bright red. staring right back up at him.
and you put them there?
no way, you put them there.
but you did. clearly you did, or else you wouldn't be looking so guilty right now.
but when did you? how did you? why did you?
he doesn't know what to think. he doesn't know what to say. he swore he'd always protect you, but how does he even begin to try to protect you from yourself?
"are you out of your mind?"
the question leaves him rather calmly, a low inquiry that you are unsure is meant to be directed as an insult or a genuine ask.
you can't look at him. you don't even know what to think yourself. it had all happened so fast while you were in the bathroom, before you got into the shower.
one minute, you were staring angrily in the mirror, cursing your reflection as your wicked thoughts sprouted grubby arms and guided you toward the pair of brow scissors that you kept in your makeup cabinet on the left side of toji's bathroom.
you wanted to feel in control of the disdain you felt lurking within your soul. you wanted to feel something for fear that you would never be able to feel again, and before you knew it, you were dragging the exposed blade over your skin.
"d'you wanna explain why i'm looking at these cuts on your arm, (y/n)?"
and you know, you know that it's a bad sign when toji uses your name instead of the plethora of pet names he normally elects to call you: doll, princess, mama, girl, pretty baby- anything but your actual government name, and when you hear it roll from his tongue under these circumstances, you can only imagine what's going through his head.
you shift on your bare feet, looking down at your toes. "dunno," is all you say, and toji scoffs in disbelief.
"you don't know?" he emphasizes. "that's all you have to say?"
"if you wanna embarrass me, go ahead, toji. seriously, i'm tired."
"what the fuck makes you think i wanna embarrass you? i wanna know why the fuck my girlfriend walked out of the bathroom with cuts on her arm!"
you rip your arm away immediately when he yells, storming back off into his room and slamming the door behind you.
toji jumps up, suddenly frazzled. he doesn't want you alone in there. he doesn't want you out of his sight.
the navy haired man moves quickly to his door and grabs the handle, only to find it locked. he jiggles it harshly and bangs on the door. beginning to panic. "open the door, (y/n)," he shouts, meeting no reply.
little does he know, your back is pressed against the other side as tears crash over your cheeks. you don't know how you expected toji to react, but the look on his face just now and his tone of voice was enough to send you running off.
you feel ashamed, weak. you shouldn't have gone out there at all. you should have waited until you were dressed, discarding the whole idea of letting toji see what you did so that you could suffer in silence without his help, because what help could he truly provide anyway?
toji's a tough man, but he's soft for you. he would stand in front of a moving train for you. he would sacrifice his life for you, so when you don't answer, he imagines the worst.
"open the door," he says again, weaker, tugging desperately at the handle though he knows it won't budge. he knows he could break the door down, and he's prepared to until he hears you sniff amdist his pounding. he immediately stops, face dropping.
fuck.
this is bad.
he knew it was before, but for some reason, it's only now registering how bad this is.
you're in pain. you hurt yourself because you're in pain and you need him, but he doesn't know how to help you. he's never dealt with anything like this before.
his hand slides from the door and to his side, forehead knocking against the door though his other hand remains tight on the handle. he just needs to see you.
"princess," he mutters defeatedly. "don't make me kick this door in."
silence.
"please," he softens even more. "please, (y/n), let me in."
the house falls quiet once more and you give in. you feel so lost, and the only person who can at least comfort you, in his own way, is toji.
you slowly turn to unlock the door and step back as toji opens it swiftly, staring down at you with wide eyes and at least relieved to see that you haven’t done any further harm to your body.
he does, however, see your tears.
his face tightens as he bends down to scoop you up in an instant, your legs and arms tightening around him as you snivel into his shoulder, his large palms sliding over your body. he feels your small body tremble against him as he walks the two of you over to the edge of his bed, sitting down as you cling to him like a koala.
"i dunno what happened," you whimper into him. "i dunno why i did it. i dunno. i dunno."
you say it over and over, your voice as broken as toji feels listening to you.
he wishes he knew what to do. he wishes he was better equipped to handle this, but never in his worst nightmares did he dream that he would find you here, his fiery girl, the love of his life.
he's been so busy trying to protect you from the outside world that he hasn't even thought about the things that could harm you from within.
he stays silent as you babble to him through tears, holding you just like he knew how. he doesn't want to picture those scars on you. he doesn't want to picture what led you to put them there. he just wants to hold you, to at least let you know that he's here and he's not going anywhere. he may not know how to help, but he knows how to love you and he hopes that's enough.
"i'm not letting you out of my sight, y'hear?" he says gruffly into your ear and you nod meekly. "i'm not letting this happen ever again. not as long as i'm alive."
he mentally swears to rid your house and his of any and every sharp object he can find and to throw it all in a safe as you sink into him.
toji knows how to protect and toji knows how to fight. though he's more acclimated with fighting others, if he has to fight to protect yourself from your innermost demons, then hell, he will find a way to do just that.
sukuna ryomen: lord help you and lord help anyone within a fifty-mile radius when the king of curses discovers that you've been harming yourself.
sukuna is not at all very good with his words or his expressions of affirmations. he is a being of action, and he believes that he has proven his love for you enough by simply allowing you to be in his presence longer than anyone else ever has or ever will.
at first, when he sees a scar or two on your leg, he thinks its just an accident or a result of you being clumsy. then, three more pop up, then five, then far more than he's even willing to count, and he decides that this scar pattern is somehow intentional.
he knows no one else has marked them onto you because he is prepared to kill anyone who comes too close, especially if they have ill intentions. if you were in danger at someone else's hand, he would be the first to know and the person meaning you harm would be dead before they could even think about touching you.
therefore, when he sees that the only person normally within your company is him, uraume, and yourself, the process of elimination leads him to you.
he goes about confronting you rather harshly, as well, for he knows no other way to be.
you're out in the garden of his large residence one day, soaking up the sun, when you hear familiar, loud stomps heading your way from behind.
you turn around and squint to peer up at sukuna, who is standing over you with a menacing glare in his crimson eyes. you don't necessarily find this out of the ordinary, so you greet him as usual.
"hi, kuna," you say sweetly. "you good?"
he is not good. not at all, so he gets straight to the point. "come inside, woman."
you quirk a brow. "why? i just got out here?"
"do not question me."
"can it wait, like, fifteen minutes?"
"do you wish to live in the next fifteen minutes?"
you sigh, entirely too used to sukuna's facade of cruelty around you. you know by now that the king of curses would never dare to hurt you.
"i do intend, to live, yes," you smirk.
"then you will come inside as i have demanded."
"no, sukuna. i want to stay out here for a bit. i've been inside all day."
the pink haired man fumes, teeth grinding together in agitation. he doesn't want to delay this conversation any further than it has already been delayed, but of course, you choose to be difficult.
"very well, we will do this out here," he growls and you smile.
"good."
you don't prepare yourself for when sukuna grabs the back of your chair and whips out around to face him with the unpleasant screech of the legs against the cobblestone. you wince, then retract your face when sukuna lowers his to stare at you from mere centimeters away, one of his arms grasping to push up the lose leg of your shorts up to reveal the set of scars littering your skin.
your eyes go wide, his movements too quick for you to process all at once.
"are these your doing?" he hisses and you gulp.
"s-sukuna-"
"i did not ask for you to say my name. i asked if these scars are your doing."
his eyes are piercing, striking directly into yours. "what are you talking about?" you whisper shakily.
"are we going to pretend like you're an idiot now?" he snarls. he's so mean, but he feels it's for good reason. your body has been tainted, and for some reason, you have been doing the tainting. he needs to know why.
you shake your head weakly. "no..."
"then answer me properly. i will not repeat myself a third time."
you bite down on your lower lip, heart ringing in your ears. you didn't even know sukuna paid attention to you enough to catch wind of something like this.
"yes... i did this," you finally tell him, and sukuna is livid.
"and why would you be doing something so foolish? scars are not something you are meant to give yourself, human."
"please don't be a dick, sukuna, not right now."
"i am asking a perfectly reasonable question and i expect you to answer it," he glowers. "now."
"you wouldn't understand if i told you," you frown and he clicks his tongue.
"stop assuming things of me before i lock you inside of my room where you can not escape or even fathom doing something like this to yourself again under my supervision."
you curl your brows, frowning up at your boyfriend. "if i tell you, you'll call me foolish."
"because this is foolish," he grunts. "but i will not if my doing so will get you to fucking explain yourself."
you shake your head, looking down and contemplating before deciding to just get it over with so that he can stop putting you on the spot. "sometimes i just feel shitty," is all you elect to say.
but sukuna is hardly satisfied with this response. "so you choose to inflict pain upon yourself instead of calling upon me?"
"i told you, you wouldn't understand," you say. "it's not something i can easily explain to you either."
sukuna narrows his eyes. "fine."
he lowers himself to grab you legs and throw you over his shoulder. you squeal, grabbing onto his back as he begins to walk you back into his home and toward his room. "sukuna!" you kick your legs around. "put me down!"
"no. you're coming with me, and you're going to sit and talk me through every single thought that has crossed your little mind to make you think that injuring yourself in such a way is tolerable within the walls of my residence. then after that, you'll come with me everywhere i go from this point on."
"what?!" you exclaim from where you hang upside down. "I don't wanna go everywhere you go," you wine.
"too bad. you should have thought of that before you decided to harm yourself."
sukuna is horrible with words, and far more horrible with expressing his concerns, but despite your temporary discomfort with how he goes about approaching the situation, you can still see in the pinch of his brow and the stiffness of his posture, combined with his refusal to let you go without a proper explanation, that he cares very deeply for your wellbeing.
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pureomi · 5 days ago
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˚୨୧⋆。🍓˚ darry rings - are limited to one per lifetime, emphasizing that love should be exclusive and irreplaceable. true love verification ensures each customer can only buy one ring.
includes: itoshi sae! x reader. 0.9k wc. fluff hehe
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you are unable to believe the outrageous actions of your boyfriend. this time, his doings were diabolical to the point of no return. “get out!”
you push itoshi sae out the door in a fit of frustration. his sigh is so loud, it feels like it’s echoing in your head, only making your irritation worse.
“this is my bedroom,” he deadpans, as if stating the obvious will reverse his sudden eviction. it doesn’t work. you’re already diving into the duvets with a determined scowl.
“what are you even doing?” he asks, his tone tipping into annoyance. he narrows his eyes when you march a little closer and throw his pillow into his arms.
“you’re sleeping on the couch,” you declare, voice firm, matching his now sour expression. “and actually, that pillow is way too nice. hand it back.”
he blinks, baffled, before the "too nice" pillow is snatched away and replaced with a sad, flat one that looks like it’s seen better days.
sae stares at the new pillow and then at you. this is so absurd, so far removed from the usual luxurious facade of his life, that the ever-composed itoshi sae actually laughs.
“you’re forgetting something,” he says suddenly, catching your wrist and pulling you closer.
“sae! let go!” you yelp, squirming in his grasp.
“are you seriously this upset over that cheap ring?” his tone is somewhere between exasperation and amusement, as if he should've expected such a reaction.
“it doesn’t matter if it was cheap; it was mine!” you hit his chest with a fist, glaring up at him. “and you hid it!”
“because i got you a better one,” he says, his eyebrows raising slightly, as if that explains everything.
“well, you could’ve just said that!” you huff, shoving his arm. “i was freaking out, thinking i lost it!”
"why do you even like that ring so much?" sae asks, pinching the bridge of his nose like he’s debating whether this argument is even worth his energy.
"because you gave it to me in high school!" you snap back, arms crossing dramatically. "i've spent more time with that ring than with you!"
he freezes, the weight of your words sinking in. the usual sharpness in his expression softens, and for a moment, he just looks at you—really looks at you. his gaze lingers on you, quiet and heavy with a mixture of guilt and something unspoken.
it's true. he knows it. he knows just how many times he’s failed to be present for you, how many moments he’s missed, how many nights you’ve spent waiting for him to come back—both physically and emotionally. each time, each goodbye felt like he was leaving behind another piece of you. your glassy eyes were all he would remember during those long flights.
but that's exactly why he's been wanting to do this for a while. because, although he might not make it obvious, itoshi sae is more attentive than you think.
he reaches into his pocket. the movement catches your attention, and when he pulls out a small velvet box, your breath hitches.
“is that...” you begin to question, even though the answer is obvious.
he opens the box, revealing a sleek, elegant darry ring. it gleams under the soft light of the bedroom—intricate, expensive, but graceful instead of loud, the kind of thing only sae could choose.
“i didn’t hide your ring to be an ass,” he says, a rare gentleness lacing his tone. his firm hand captures yours and slides the perfectly fitted ring on your designated finger.
"i wanted you to have something better," he brings your jeweled hand to his lips, pressing a warm kiss. "something worthy of you."
"i wanted to sign my name to you."
you blink, your chest tightening, and before you know it, you're rushing forward to throw your arms around him in an impulsive, tight hug.
"you're an idiot, sae!" you voice, sound coming out teary-eyed.
a moment passes without either of you saying anything. he just holds you tighter, as if making up for every moment he couldn’t be there. then, he chuckles softly, a low, soft sound that fills the space between you.
you pull back just enough to frown up at him, your hands resting on his chest. "you're laughing?!"
sae, with that trademark smirk, tilts his head slightly. "do you like it?" his voice teasing but with that edge of sincerity you know so well.
you scoff, still holding on to his shirt, a little stunned. "are you seriously asking me that right now?" you mumble, though your heart is already swelling.
"i love it," you finally smile, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek. "i love it, sae."
he leans forward, the tug of his smile remaining. "yeah?" he inches closer, grabbing you, leaving no room for escape. "how much?"
"so much.." you manage to whisper against his lips before he fully dives in for a kiss.
his lips move gently against yours, tasting the words you just spoke, savoring your happiness. it’s soft and tender, and deliberately slow, as he prefers.
when he finally pulls back, you're left breathless, your heart pounding in your chest. you glance up at him, suddenly shy, feeling a soft blush creeping on you.
"you're still sleeping on the couch," you point and smile, face full of mischief.
sae shrugs, his expression slipping into one of playful indifference. “fine. but you’re joining me.”
before you can even protest, he scoops you up effortlessly, your squeals of protest only providing him amusement as he holds you securely in his arms.
"okay, okay! you can sleep on the bed!"
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a/n: me ignoring my 1k wc essay to write a 1k wc sae fic 👍🏼
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sweeturavity · 24 days ago
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devoted to you ૮ ྀི◞ ⸝⸝ ◟ ྀིა
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katsuki bakugo who makes love to you with a tenderness you didn’t know he possessed—he refuses to call it ‘fucking’ says it feels too crude, too disrespectful to describe what you both share. it’s not just about desire, it’s about love, about trust, about the quiet moments where his world feels like it begins and ends with you.
katsuki bakugo who starts by holding your hand, rough fingers brushing against your soft skin, and kisses your fingertips one by one. then your knuckles, each press of his lips slow and deliberate, like he’s memorizing every curve of your hand. he works his way up to your arm, leaving warm, lingering kisses along the way, his lips brushing against the sensitive skin of your wrist, the curve of your elbow, until he reaches the crook of your neck. he plants a few soft kisses there, his breath warm against your skin, but never leaves marks. he doesn’t need to. others might talk about ‘claiming’ but that’s not him. he doesn’t need proof for anyone else—he knows you’re his, just as much as he’s yours.
katsuki bakugo who never rushes your time together. he’s not in any hurry to get anywhere. he takes his time, savoring every moment, every touch, every sound that escapes your lips. he wants to make you feel good—not just physically, but emotionally, spiritually, in ways that only he knows how. he says it’s how a man should love his woman, with care, with devotion, with the kind of passion that builds slow and steady, like a flame he never wants to burn out. it’s not just about making love—it’s about showing you, with every kiss, every touch, just how deeply he loves you.
katsuki bakugo who hangs onto every word that slips from your beautiful lips like it’s gospel. it doesn’t matter what you say, he’s ready to obey without a second thought, no hesitation, no questions asked. you want to try something new? he’s already asking how and where you want him, his crimson eyes burning with anticipation as he waits for you to guide him. show him, teach him—he’s all yours to mold.
you want to have full control, to flip the dynamic and make him yours to command? oh, that’s his favorite. the way you take the lead, the way you look down at him with that confidence he loves so much, makes his pulse race. nothing gets him going like being yours to use, to please, to satisfy. he’ll follow your every move, hang onto your every demand, and do it all with a smirk because there’s nothing he loves more than surrendering himself to you.
you want him to get on his knees and beg? he’s already there, the second the thought crosses your mind. no words needed—he knows. and when you finally do speak, telling him what you want, his knees hit the ground faster than his pride can protest. for you, pride doesn’t matter. ego doesn’t exist. it’s you—your words, your desires, your commands—and he’d do anything to give you exactly what you want.
and if he ever did say no to you, even once? well, that’s not him. no way, no chance. katsuki bakugo who jokes that you might as well shoot him in the head if he ever dared deny you.
katsuki bakugo who is absolutely, undeniably, head over heels for you—like, beyond saving. it’s almost embarrassing how smitten he is, but he couldn’t care less about what anyone thinks. if someone asks him a simple question, somehow, the whole conversation gets derailed, and suddenly, it’s all about you.
"oh, that reminds me." he’ll start, and then it’s off to the races. "my girl loves that kind of stuff. did you know she—" and there he goes, talking about your favorite foods, the way you light up when you laugh, how you always manage to make him feel like he’s the luckiest guy on the planet.
it doesn’t matter who’s listening—his friends, his colleagues, hell, even strangers. katsuki can’t stop singing your praises. he’ll call you ‘amazing’ and ‘beautiful’ like it’s a fact of life, like the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. and don’t even get him started on the future.
he’s already got it all planned out. every time he talks about you, it’s with this quiet, determined confidence. "she’s gonna be my wife one day." he’ll say, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. there’s no ‘if’ in his mind, only ‘when.’ "and the mother of my brats." he adds with a little smirk, already imagining the future—kids with wild blond hair and that fiery spirit he loves so much in you.
he’s completely, utterly gone for you, and everyone knows it. and honestly? he wouldn’t have it any other way.
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xazse · 2 months ago
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Warnings: Centaur!Suguru x Centaur!Satoru x female!reader + smut + size difference(ofc) + fantasyAu + big cocks + squirting + jerking off + big!men + notproofread + VERY NASTY!! + blowjob + lots of cum + cumming inside + Mean!Suguru + you may not be into this and that’s okay! Skip and wait for my other works, love you<33
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Centaur!Satoru and Suguru are huge men, bigger than you they tower over you with broad chests and thick bodies that look sculpted Greek gods.
They found you passed out deep in the forest, No human had ever come this deep, they’ve heard of your kind but never actually seen small things like you, only the elders have seen humans and their terrible nature.
They’ve been warned countless times that they aren’t to be trusted. But what could a thing like you do to them? They could easily snap your neck should you become aggressive and so far you haven’t. They’ve been secretly nursing you back to health in a little cave they fixed up for you. With a broken ankle you can’t do much moving, they could let you ride on their backs but they’re curious things who want to know a little bit more about you, so they’ll keep you for just a tad bit longer.
You’re so sweet too, the stories about your kind don’t compare to your innate sense of kindness, you allow them to ask allKinds of questions no matter how weird or personal they get, Satoru had really gotten curious about your feet, how do you manage to balance on just two? He needs four to support his body properly.
You giggled so sincerely and explained that to him in the most make-a sense way possible.
You love touching and rubbing their hefty backs, when they lay down near you, your hand always finds a way to rub their soft fur, they seem to enjoy it. Things get a little weird when they find themselves unusually interested about what’s in between your legs, they asked and you obliged to let them see but not underneath your panties.
You shyly spread your legs and lift up your shirt, your fat clothed cunt on display for them to see, they stare for a little: intrigued at how different you are from their females. Then the touching begins, it goes from just looking at you to you allowing them to rub you through your underwear.
Suguru is the first to move closer to you to take his thumb and rub up and down, when he grazes your clit and sees the hitched breath you hold back he does it again, then again. Gaining even more cute reactions out of you.
Satoru is an impatient thing who wants in too, he slips his finger beneath your underwear and quickly pulls back: you’re wet, soaked in fact.
He slips his fingers back in, rubbing them inbetween your plump lips, he moves down far enough to feel where your wetness is more prominent, when he pushes inside that little opening you let out the lewdest moan you’ve had all evening.
Oh.
That spurs Suguru to also slip his hand into your panties, he rubs the little nub at the top whilst Satoru prods his fingers in that little twitchy hole.
Suguru being the most level headed is the one who’s bringing his hand to his own unsheathed cock, you get a glance through glassy hazy eyes at him: he’s thick and long, a nasty combo to have.
He starts stroking himself in tune with the way he rubs you clit, the way he squeezes himself looks like it hurts but he seems unfazed by the grip, he just keeps his eyes trained on your greedy cunt already taking two of Satoru’s fingers.
“Oh god… do it faster Satoru.” Suguru moans out so unashamed, asking for Satoru to give you more pleasure so he in turn can feel more as well. Satoru abides and further ruins your pretty pussy.
You’re suddenly being forced stomach down on a hefty rock, Satoru is the one mounting you, you think he’s forgetting just how massive he is that you can’t possible take his cock, even his tip looks to be too much.
“Toru, calm down, she can’t take you right now.” Suguru telling satoru to calm down like the look in his eye isn’t excited at the thought of Satoru just forcing his entire length in, Suguru is still jerking off his slick cock in a rough manner.
“Mhn… a little- jus’ a little” Satoru rubs his tip against your pussy, dipping inbetween your lips just to cover it in your sopping wetness. You help him push his thick tip in a little, the stretch is something you’ve never felt before, it hurts so bad but it makes you want more.
He gets a little past his tip in, and starts rocking his hips agaisnt you, making you take anymore than this is off the table he’d seriously injure you.
Suguru can be heard, groaning when he sees you’ve squirted on Satoru’s cock, his tip remind you.
You’re left panting opened mouthed, filled leaky cunt and Satoru not even finished with you.
MORE:
He can’t grip you the way he wants with this position but he really needs you to stay still, he just needs to filt a little more of his cock inside then he’ll be satisfied, maybe.
Suguru catches on and makes his way to you, plopping his huge body near you, he softly coos to calm you down from that orgasm, this act quickly fades when his strong arms are gripping you down so you can take more, you don’t protest instead you let Satoru fill you just a little more.
It’s so hard for you not to cum around his cock again, though he begs and eggs you on so he can feel that feeling of you clenching so hard around him.
You’re so distracted by Suguru lightly decorating your face in hot messy kisses that when you feel empty for a split second, a whine makes its way up your throat-
“Guh-“ Satoru starts slamming into you, slamming into your sticky soppy cunt over and over, your sounds do nothing but spur on this dangerous man
“Fuck… fuck..” Satoru’s above panting like a mutt in heat, he hasn’t ever felt something like this before, the intensity that spreads through his body is subpar, pussy has never felt this good he thinks, he’s never been able to stick his cock in something but something so small like yourself made it worth the wait.
“Satoru… Satoru.. hurry-“ Suguru really can’t take this anymore he needs to get his dick wet, he can’t take his cock continuing to twitch wildly. Satoru’s face Is a deep shade of red and he has the lewdest expression on his face while he’s fucking his long cock inside of you.
“Such a tight pussy- fuck I swear.”
“M-gonna cum…”
Satoru’s pace starts slowing down, his cock starts getting more and more erratic and excited.
Satoru finally spills inside your little cunt, his thick fat load is too much for you to handle, it starts leaking out of your puffy lips. he has no time to admire his mess before Suguru is promptly grabbing your tired body and guiding you inbetween his legs.
He can’t fuck your cunt today but he sure will another day, he’ll settle for letting you suck his cock.
He relaxes his body and you get the memo, he’s just as big as Satoru, speaking of Satoru he’s completely out of it, simply laying in the grass catching his breath.
You suckle on the tip of his, Suguru definitely didn’t wait all this time for you to give him kitten licks, he reaches and grabs a tuft of your hair, guiding you to properly suck him.
You open your mouth as much as you can and try to take as much as possible, the rest you use your hands.
“That’s more like it- shit..”
You bob your head to the best of your ability, making sure to pay extra attention to his tip, you suck and lick up all the leaking pre-cum, making sure not to waste any, every motion you make makes your sensitive cunt throb, Satoru really did a number on you.
You jerk him off, and get as much spit as you can muster all over his cock, you can tell you’re finally doing a good job when all Suguru can do is groan with no shame.
You start messing with his balls and It doesn’t take long for Suguru to cum- he’s been holding back for a while, long ropes of cum land all over your face.
The two beautiful centaur men lay there as you stare ahead at them trying to get it together.
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remlionheart · 2 months ago
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⊹ ࣪ ˖☁️ daydreaming about...
𓆩♡𓆪aged up characters, MDNI𓆩♡𓆪
sweet boyfriend yuuji who is just so proud to be yours. he's standing with a group of friends, aimlessly talking and laughing when he sees you walk out of your dorm, his attention immediately stolen by the way your sundress hugs your hips. "damn, do you see her?" like he hadn't just walked you to class thirty minutes earlier in the same outfit. "she's so pretty, isn't she?" even after a year of dating, you still manage to leave him awestruck every time he sees you.
sweet boyfriend yuuji who purposefully leaves lots of extra clothes at your house. at first, he said it was just so that he didn't have to bounce between your apartment and his as much, but after stopping by late one night and seeing you curled up on the couch in nothing but his hoodie and a pair of knee-high socks, he suddenly abandoned nearly all of his clothing at your place instead, absolutely enamored by how cute you looked walking around with his t-shirts hanging off of your shoulder.
sweet boyfriend yuuji who knows all of your favorites- from snacks to pizza toppings to your longwinded coffee order that he rattles off like a pro in the drive-through, not missing a beat when asking for two extra pumps of vanilla with oatmilk and a strawberry cakepop, though the cakepop usually ends up with a bite mysteriously missing out of the side of it by the time it gets to you.
sweet boyfriend yuuji who sincerely loves listening to you yap. your coworker said what to her boyfriend? and he didn't even deny it? "oh, he's so guilty- he's not even trying to hide it at this point!" yuuji scoffs, completely enthralled by the gossip though he's never met either one of these people in his life. he's always asking you questions though, always encouraging you to keep talking. always wanting to know all the little details of your world, no matter how big or how small.
sweet boyfriend yuuji who looks up at you as he pulls your underwear to the side, light flickering through his golden stare as his fingers begin to carefully dip into you. "aw, does it feel that good, baby?" he has to bite back a smile at how pouty your nod is, your walls desperately clenching around him. "so wet already," he muses, his mouth suddenly hovering over your center. "you must've really missed me today, huh?" a cute little yelp escapes you as he finally leans in to give you want you want, flattening his tongue against you in a way that makes both of you moan. "yeah, i can tell."
sweet boyfriend yuuji who grabs onto the headboard for support as his hips meet yours, letting out the prettiest, headiest noises. "where do you want me, baby? show me." he pants, eyes glazing over as he watches you place your hand on your tummy. "right there? you sure?" you can barely get out an "mhmm" though before he's thrusting back into you- so attentively and so deeply, the two of watching together as the thick outline of his bulge begins to swell against your skin, his mouth dropping open at how overwhelmingly good it feels. "that's my - girl."
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whisperofwonder · 4 months ago
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Comfortable
Uncomfortable domestic moments when you realize just how comfortable you are together, and how much he really cares about you
I just really love domesticity, okay? Even when it isn't pretty.
Featuring: Kuroo Tetsurou, Ushijima Wakatoshi, Miya Atsumu x reader
(a few potential triggers here, sorry!) TW: vomit / vomiting in Kuroo's ; blood/period in Ushijima's, then you'll have Atsumu's which is really just light and kind of goofy oops
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KUROO TETSUROU
"Ugh," You moan as you reach to flush the toilet. You get to your feet and turn to find Tetsurou still hovering behind you. You grimace thinking about how he'd held your hair back just moments ago, as you released the entire contents of your stomach into the toilet bowl.
He hands you a cup of water. "How are you feeling?" He asks as you rinse out your mouth - it's a silly question, all things considered, but you don't exactly have a snarky answer at hand.
"I'm sorry," You blurt instead, not quite sure how he can be looking at you with that almost tender expression on his face after witnessing that.
"Why are you apologizing?" He asks softly, reaching to unstick a sweaty strand of hair from your face.
"Because, it's so gross. You didn't have to come in here," You insist. "I'm an adult, and - you really shouldn't have to see that." You purposefully avoid glancing in the mirror. You don't even want to know what you must look like right now.
"But I don't want you to feel gross alone," He says as if it's simple. You open your mouth, searching for some kind of retort, but nothing comes. "I know you can take care of yourself, but you shouldn't have to," He continues. "Not when I'm right here."
It's so surprisingly sweet that you feel your face start to crumple. "Tetsu," You squeak out.
"Shh," He shushes you, "Just tell me what I can do. Do you need anything?"
"I just want to go back to bed," You admit, reaching out to grab the edge of the sink as you feel yourself begin to waver.
"Okay then," He says, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before he scoops you up in his arms, slowly carrying you back to the bedroom and setting you gently on top of your pillows. "Try to get some rest," He murmurs, pulling the blankets up over you. "I love you," He adds, brushing the hair away from your face.
"I love you too," You murmur back, leaning into his touch and the comfort of the knowledge that he'll always be right here.
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI
Your alarm feels even earlier than usual, and after confirming that it is indeed time to get up, you turn it off with a groan. You're feeling particularly at odds with the world already today, and part of you just wants to pull the covers over your head and go back to sleep. Instead, you slither out of bed, standing next to it as you check the e-mail notification that had popped up overnight.
"Oh," At the sound of his voice, you turn to look at Wakatoshi. He's sitting on the edge of the bed, and he's looking at you with a slight frown on his face. "My love..." He gestures down at your side of the bed, and to your horror, you see a streak of red on the otherwise pristine sheets.
Suddenly, the way you're feeling is making a lot more sense. "Oh no," You drop your face in your hands, muffling your words. "That's absolutely disgusting. I'm so sorry." You don't even want to look at him, but at the sound of rustling sheets, you finally drop your hands. Your boyfriend is methodically stripping the bed.
"Why don't you get in the shower? I'll start washing these." He says matter-of-factly. There must be something in your expression, because you see his face soften. "It's alright. It's natural," He assures you.
"But-" You can't put into words how mortified you are. Natural or not, he shouldn't have to see it, much less clean it up. "At least let me do that," You insist finally, reaching for the pile of bedding.
"No," He twists away so that it's out of your reach, "I've got it. Just get in the shower, okay?"
"You shouldn't have to, though," You say more softly.
"I don't have to," He agrees. "I want to help you. Can I do that?"
You bite your lower lip, trying not to let your hormonally-charged emotions win this battle. "Okay," You say finally.
"Okay," He echoes you, dropping the sheets into the laundry basket before crossing the room back to you, gently taking your face in his hands and pressing a kiss to your lips. "I'll make you some tea to have with breakfast," He adds after he pulls away. "Will that help?"
"Yes," You whisper, the I-love-you hidden in his words practically echoing in your head. You can't resist pulling him back in for one more kiss, hoping he feels the I-love-you-too that you press into it.
MIYA ATSUMU
"Atsumu!" You knock on the bathroom door, "Are you soon done?" It's moments like these when you really regret that this apartment has only one bathroom.
"Just got in!" He shouts back above the sound of the running shower. You bite back a sigh. He's famous for his long, hot showers.
"I really have to go!" You call back. "Can't you make it quick?" You're on the verge of pacing back down the hallway, just to help you hold it in.
"The door isn't locked! Can't ya just come in and go?" You freeze. It might be silly, but it's an unspoken milestone that you haven't crossed yet - peeing in front of each other.
"But!" You groan.
"But what? Ya've seen me naked before," You can practically hear his smirk.
"Tsumu," You whine, but in a matter of moments, you open the door anyway. It's gotten to the point where you don't have much choice. With only a moment's hesitation, you put up the toilet lid.
"How was yer day?" Atsumu begins conversationally.
"We're not doing this," You say quickly. "I'm going, and then I'm leaving the bathroom."
You hear him sigh. "Want me to get out and pee too, so we're even?" He asks, completely serious.
"No!" You say quickly. "I'm leaving now." Before he can say anything else, you're closing the door behind you.
About 10 minutes later, Atsumu finds you in the kitchen, towel wrapped around his waist as drips of water slip from his hair. "Guess we're a real couple now," He grins, leaning in and pressing a damp kiss to your lips.
"We weren't before?" You ask, quirking an eyebrow.
"'Parently not. Didn't know it was such a big deal," He says with a smug grin. "How will I ever look at you the same again?"
"Hey!" You swat his bare shoulder indignantly. "It was your idea." You remind him.
"Guess so," He hums. "Know what? I think I still love ya just as much." His smile is softer somehow, despite the teasing glint in his eyes.
"Oh?" You ask, struggling to maintain your haughty expression.
"Yeah," He nods. "Looks like you're stuck with me." He leans in for a longer kiss, almost making you forget about the small puddle that's begun to form on the floor.
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pucksandpower · 3 months ago
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Die With a Smile
Charles Leclerc x death!Reader
Summary: desperation is a dangerous thing — six seasons without a World Drivers’ Championship has left Charles willing to do anything for glory … even pay the ultimate price (or in which Charles Leclerc sacrifices everything for Ferrari and, thanks to you, learns that death is nothing like he expected)
Warnings: major character death
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Charles Leclerc has always been one for precision. Calculated. Calm. But now? Now there’s nothing left. Precision has eroded into a recklessness that terrifies and excites him in equal measure. The pursuit of glory is the only thing keeping him tethered to reality.
Melbourne is hot, the air thick and sticky with anticipation. He stands in the paddock, helmet in hand, eyes tracing over the sea of faces. Reporters, mechanics, engineers — all of them moving with purpose. The season begins here, but he can’t shake this feeling that something else is starting too.
He frowns, scanning the crowd again. Something — or someone — has caught his attention.
You stand there, leaning against a barrier, watching him. Quiet, still. You don’t belong in this chaos, yet somehow, you fit. It's not like the usual glances from fans or the admiring stares from strangers. No, this is different. He doesn’t know why, but the sight of you pulls him in, like a thread slowly unraveling.
His grip tightens around the helmet. “Who’s that?” He mutters under his breath, half to himself, half to anyone nearby.
Pierre, standing a few feet away, catches the tail end of his question and follows his gaze. “Who?”
“There.” Charles nods subtly toward you. You’re still there, eyes locked on him. Unblinking. He swallows hard.
Pierre shrugs, oblivious. “No clue. Probably a fan or something. You good?”
Charles doesn’t answer. You’re not a fan. You’re something else. His heart thuds in his chest, a slow, deliberate beat, like a countdown. He can almost hear it. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
“I’m fine,” he says, but the words feel empty. He’s not fine. He feels like he’s balancing on the edge of something dangerous, and you’re the reason why.
Suddenly, the world around him — the voices, the clamor of the paddock — fades, and it’s just you and him. You, watching him with a calmness that unnerves him. And him, standing there, frozen, unable to look away.
“I’ll see you after the race,” Pierre says, giving him a pat on the shoulder before disappearing into the crowd. Charles doesn’t even register his friend’s departure.
He doesn’t move, his body rooted to the spot as if some unseen force has pinned him in place. It’s stupid. Ridiculous. Why can’t he look away?
There’s a flicker in your eyes — something fleeting, something dark. His pulse quickens. He knows that look. He’s seen it before, in mirrors, in the faces of men with nothing left to lose.
But you … you wear it differently. Effortlessly.
Charles takes a step toward you. His boots hit the asphalt with a dull thud, and suddenly, he’s walking, moving through the crowd without really seeing anyone. His focus narrows, sharp and deadly. He can feel it, the pull, the way his every step is dragging him closer to something he can’t explain.
And then he’s standing in front of you.
You don’t smile. You don’t say anything. You just watch him, your expression unreadable, like you’re waiting for something.
His throat is dry. “Who are you?”
For a moment, silence stretches between you, thick and unyielding. And then you tilt your head, ever so slightly, as if considering the question.
“Does it matter?” Your voice is soft, almost too soft, but it cuts through the noise around them like a blade.
He blinks, thrown off balance. He expected — he doesn’t know what he expected. Something more. Something less. But not this.
“Yeah,” he says, swallowing hard, “I think it does.”
You shift your weight, crossing your arms over your chest, but your eyes never leave his. “And why is that?”
He hesitates. Why does it matter? He’s not sure. All he knows is that standing here, with you in front of him, he feels something heavy pressing down on him. Like time is slipping through his fingers, like he’s running out of chances, running out of-
“You’re in my head,” he says, more to himself than to you, his voice barely above a whisper. “Why are you in my head?”
You don’t answer right away, but your gaze sharpens, something dangerous lurking beneath the surface. “Maybe because you’ve been looking for me.”
His breath catches. “What?”
“You don’t realize it yet, but you’ve been waiting for this. For me.”
The words hit him like a punch to the gut. He feels like the ground beneath him is shifting, like everything he thought he knew about himself is crumbling.
“You’re wrong,” he says, but his voice lacks conviction. “I’m not waiting for anything.”
You raise an eyebrow, and for the first time, a ghost of a smile tugs at the corner of your lips. It’s not a kind smile. It’s knowing. Cold.
“Aren’t you?”
He doesn’t answer. Can’t. The world around them feels suddenly smaller, the air thicker, like it’s closing in on him.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
That sound again. It’s louder now, reverberating in his skull.
“You’re scared,” you say, and it’s not a question.
“I’m not scared.”
“You should be.”
He opens his mouth to argue, but no words come out. Because you’re right. He is scared. But not of you. He’s scared of what you represent. Of the way his pulse pounds in his ears, the way his chest feels tight with something he doesn’t understand.
And you know it. You see right through him.
“This season,” you say, your voice low, “it’s your last, isn’t it?”
He stiffens. “What do you mean?”
“You don’t expect to come out of this alive.”
He laughs, but it’s bitter, hollow. “I don’t have a choice. I either win, or …”
“Or you die.”
His breath hitches. The way you say it, so matter-of-fact, so final — it shakes him. Because it’s true. He’s been feeling it for months, this gnawing sense that if he doesn’t win the championship, there’s nothing left for him. He’ll push until he breaks. And he doesn’t care anymore.
But how do you know that? How could you possibly know?
“You don’t get to decide that,” he snaps, more harshly than he intends.
You don’t flinch. “You’re right. I don’t.”
The implication hangs between you, unspoken but loud. There’s something inevitable about this. Something neither of you can control.
He takes a step back, suddenly needing space, air — anything to break the tension building between you. But even as he moves, he can still feel the weight of your gaze on him, can still hear the ticking in his head, louder and louder, counting down to something he can’t escape.
“You’re wrong,” he says again, though this time, it’s more for himself than for you. “I’ll win. I’ll be fine.”
You don’t argue. You just watch him, that cold, knowing smile still playing at the edges of your lips.
“We’ll see,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper.
And just like that, you turn and walk away, disappearing into the crowd as quickly as you appeared, leaving him standing there, heart racing, mind spinning.
He should be focusing on the race. On the championship. On everything he’s spent his entire life chasing.
But all he can think about is you. And the way his time feels like it’s running out.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
***
The roar of the engine fills his ears, drowning out everything else. The speed is intoxicating, the way the car moves beneath him, barely hanging on to the asphalt, the tires biting into the corners with every turn. He’s pushing harder than he should — he knows it, and he doesn’t care.
Spa is unforgiving today. The clouds hang low, threatening rain, and the track is slick, treacherous. Charles feels the tension in his body, every muscle taut, every nerve on edge. There’s no margin for error here. He’s on the edge, teetering, dancing with disaster. But that’s where he’s been living for months now — on the edge.
He downshifts hard coming out of Blanchimont, the rear of the car twitching beneath him. His heart pounds against his ribcage. He’s faster than he needs to be — faster than is safe. But he can’t let up. The rest of the field is closing in, and the gap between him and the car ahead is shrinking. Just a little more, just-
Then, suddenly, the car snaps.
A violent jolt sends him skidding off the track, the rear tires giving way, and for a brief, horrifying second, he loses control. The world tilts, and all he sees is the blur of gravel and barriers rushing toward him. Instinct takes over. His hands are a blur on the steering wheel as he fights to regain control. The tires scream against the ground, the car skidding sideways, throwing him against the seat belts with bone-rattling force.
“Come on, come on,” he mutters through gritted teeth, his heart pounding in his throat. He’s losing it, the car sliding further into the runoff area, the barrier looming closer.
But then — somehow — he recovers. The car snaps back into line, and he breathes out a shaky breath, his knuckles white from gripping the wheel. He’s back on the track, the car steady beneath him, but his heart is still racing, adrenaline coursing through his veins.
“Charles, are you okay?” His engineer’s voice crackles through the radio, tense and urgent.
“Yeah,” he breathes, his voice shaky. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
But he’s not fine. His hands are trembling, his vision is still blurred with the image of the gravel, the barrier — the almost crash. For a split second, he saw it. Saw what could have happened. What should have happened if his reflexes hadn’t kicked in.
He pulls the car to a slow halt, off the track now, coming to rest just inside the gravel trap. The engine hums, a low, steady sound that does nothing to calm him.
He sits there, breathing heavily, his head resting against the seat, eyes closed. He’s been reckless before, but this? This was different. He came so close to-
And then he feels it.
A presence.
His eyes snap open, and there you are. Standing just beyond the fence, not more than twenty feet from where his car rests. You’re watching him, the same way you did in Melbourne, your gaze locked on him with that unnerving calm that makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.
For a moment, he wonders if he’s imagining it. The adrenaline is still pumping, his mind is spinning, and maybe — just maybe — you’re a hallucination. But no. You’re real. You’re standing there, just beyond the track, watching him.
His breath catches in his throat.
“Charles, talk to us. Do you need assistance?” His engineer’s voice comes through the radio again, but he can’t respond. He’s frozen, staring at you through the shattered remnants of the race.
“Charles?” The voice repeats, more urgent now.
But he can’t tear his eyes away from you.
You tilt your head slightly, as if you’re considering something, as if you’re weighing his fate in your hands. And then, without a word, you take a step closer to the fence, your eyes never leaving his.
“Not yet,” you say, your voice somehow carrying through the din, through the chaos of the race and the pounding of his heart. It’s soft, almost a whisper, but he hears it as clearly as if you’re standing right next to him. “But soon.”
His blood runs cold.
He knows what you mean. He knows, deep down, that this is a warning. He can feel it, the weight of it pressing down on him, like the ticking of a clock in the back of his mind, counting down to something inevitable.
He swallows hard, trying to regain some semblance of control, but the words stick in his throat. “Who — who are you?” He manages to choke out, his voice barely above a whisper.
You don’t answer. You never answer. Instead, you just watch him, your expression unreadable, like you already know how this ends.
The world around him feels distant now, like everything is moving in slow motion. The sound of the engines, the cheers of the crowd — it all fades into the background, leaving just you and him, locked in this strange, silent moment.
“Charles, we need you to respond,” the engineer’s voice cuts in again, breaking the spell for just a second.
He fumbles for the radio, his hand shaking as he presses the button. “I’m — I’m fine,” he says, his voice strained. “Give me a minute.”
There’s a pause on the other end, but they don’t push him further. Not yet.
He exhales slowly, trying to steady himself, trying to make sense of what’s happening. He’s been reckless, yes. But this? This feels like more than just a close call. This feels like a warning. Like you’re here to remind him of something he’s been trying to ignore.
“Why are you here?” He asks, his voice barely audible over the hum of the car.
You don’t move. Don’t speak. But your eyes — they tell him everything. You’re here because of him. Because of the choices he’s making, the risks he’s taking. You’re here because he’s running out of time.
“You said … in Melbourne …” His voice trails off as he struggles to find the words. He remembers what you said. That he’s been looking for you, even if he didn’t realize it. That his time was running out.
And now, here you are. Again. Watching him.
“I don’t need you,” he says suddenly, his voice rising with a mixture of anger and fear. “I’m not done yet.”
Your expression doesn’t change. You don’t flinch. It’s as if you’ve heard these words a thousand times before.
“I will win,” he says, more to himself than to you. “I’m going to win.”
You take a step closer to the fence, your gaze unwavering. “We’ll see.”
The words hang in the air, heavy and final. He can’t tell if it’s a promise or a threat. Maybe it’s both.
He clenches his fists around the steering wheel, the leather cool against his skin. He wants to shout at you, to demand answers, to make you go away. But deep down, he knows you’re not the kind of thing you can just wish away. You’re something else. Something bigger. Something he doesn’t understand.
And yet, you’re here. Watching. Waiting.
“I don’t have a choice,” he mutters, his voice breaking. “I have to win.”
You don’t answer. You don’t need to. The truth is already hanging between you.
Tick. Tock.
He can hear it again. That ticking. It’s louder now, more insistent, like the hands of a clock speeding up, racing toward some unseen finish line.
Charles shakes his head, as if trying to clear the sound from his mind. But it’s no use. The ticking is there, buried deep in his skull, a reminder that time is slipping away.
“I can still do this,” he whispers, almost desperately. “I can still win.”
Your gaze softens, just for a moment, and he wonders if you feel sorry for him. If you pity him.
“Maybe,” you say, and it’s the closest thing to compassion he’s heard from you. “But at what cost?”
He opens his mouth to respond, but the words die in his throat. Because he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know what it will cost him. He doesn’t want to know.
You take one last, lingering look at him, your eyes scanning his face as if memorizing every detail, and then you turn, your figure disappearing into the haze of the track, swallowed up by the world beyond the fence.
He sits there, still trembling, still shaken. His fingers slowly unclench from the steering wheel, and he lets out a long, ragged breath.
“Charles?” His engineer’s voice again, but softer this time. “Are you okay? We’re ready to bring you back in.”
He doesn’t respond right away. His mind is still reeling, still stuck in that moment when you stood there, just beyond the fence, watching him. Judging him.
“I’m coming in,” he finally says, his voice hoarse.
The car hums back to life as he nudges it forward, back onto the track. But his hands are still shaking. His pulse is still racing.
And in the back of his mind, the ticking continues.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
***
The rain is relentless in Suzuka. Sheets of water hammer down on the track, turning every corner into a hazard, every straight into a test of nerve. The spray from the tires rises like smoke, blurring the lines between the asphalt and the dark sky.
Charles can barely see more than a few meters in front of him, but he doesn’t let up. His foot is heavy on the throttle, fingers gripping the wheel like a lifeline. He’s teetering on the edge of control, dancing that fine line between dangerous and deadly.
Every lap feels like a gamble. He’s driving blind, trusting the car to hold steady, trusting himself not to make a mistake. But the mistakes are creeping in. He can feel it. The tires are slipping, the rear end twitching beneath him as he pushes harder, faster. The rain pounds against his helmet, and the world outside the cockpit is a chaotic blur of water and noise.
“Charles, we need you to back off,” his engineer’s voice crackles through the radio, thick with concern. “Conditions are getting worse.”
He doesn’t respond. His eyes are fixed on the road ahead, every muscle in his body tense, every instinct screaming at him to keep pushing. He knows the risks. He knows what’s at stake. But slowing down isn’t an option. Not for him.
“Charles, can you hear me?” The voice comes again, more insistent this time.
He blinks, his vision briefly clearing through the rain. And then he sees it.
A figure. Just beyond the barriers, standing at the edge of the track, half-obscured by the downpour. At first, it’s just a blur of motion, but as he hurtles closer, the figure sharpens into focus.
His breath catches in his throat. It can’t be.
Jules.
It’s impossible, but there he is — Jules Bianchi, standing on the side of the track, just where the runoff ends and the grass begins, his face calm, serene. Just like Charles remembers him. His heart leaps into his throat, a wave of emotion crashing over him, threatening to overwhelm him.
“Jules?” He whispers, his voice barely audible over the roar of the engine.
He blinks, just for a second. But when his eyes open again, Jules is gone. And in his place, there’s you.
Charles’ chest tightens, his hands shaking on the wheel as the car skids slightly on the wet track. You’re standing where Jules was, your gaze locked on him, calm and unyielding. The rain pours down around you, but you don’t move. You don’t blink. You just watch him, lap after lap.
“What the hell …” His voice cracks, his heart pounding harder than it should.
He can’t take his eyes off you, not even as the car barrels down the straight. The rain is coming down harder now, a relentless torrent that threatens to drown him in its fury. His mind spins, struggling to make sense of what he’s seeing. First Jules, now you — both of you standing there, on the edge of the track like ghosts from different parts of his life, haunting him.
Lap after lap, you’re there. Always in the same spot, just beyond the barrier, watching him. He blinks through the rain, but you never leave.
“Charles, please, respond,” his engineer’s voice cuts through the haze, sharp with worry. “You need to slow down. The rain’s too heavy. We’re going to box.”
“I’m fine,” Charles snaps, his voice strained. “I’m staying out.”
He can hear the hesitation in the silence that follows. They don’t want to argue with him — not now, not when he’s like this. But he knows they’re watching, knows they can see the telemetry, knows they can see that he’s pushing the car beyond its limits.
He doesn’t care. He has to keep going. He has to — for Jules.
But why are you here? Why now? Why after Jules?
His hands shake on the wheel as he takes another corner too fast, the rear tires sliding out before he regains control. His heart is racing, his mind a mess of emotions, and still — you’re there. You’re always there.
Charles grits his teeth, his jaw clenched so tight it hurts. “What do you want from me?” He mutters under his breath, his voice trembling. He knows you can’t hear him, not through the roar of the engine and the crash of rain, but it doesn’t matter. You’re in his head now. You’ve been in his head since Melbourne.
And now, Jules too?
It’s almost too much. The memories of his godfather crash over him, a flood of grief and guilt he’s been pushing down for years. Jules’ voice, his smile, the way he believed in Charles even when Charles didn’t believe in himself.
But Jules is gone. Has been for a long time.
So why did he see him?
“Charles, box, box,” the radio crackles, cutting through his thoughts again.
“I said no!” He snaps, his voice sharper than he intended. His breath is coming fast, too fast, his chest tight with something he can’t name.
He takes the next corner harder than he should, the car sliding dangerously close to the wall. His knuckles are white against the steering wheel, his body tense, rigid. His mind is racing — too fast, too chaotic. The rain pounds harder against the car, and visibility is almost zero now, the track a slick, treacherous river beneath him.
And then, as he speeds past the spot where you stand, something shifts.
He swears he hears your voice. Soft, almost a whisper, but unmistakable. “Charles.”
It’s like ice down his spine. His heart skips a beat, his grip faltering for just a second.
He jerks the wheel, the car sliding as he corrects it, narrowly avoiding the barrier. His pulse is racing, his breathing erratic. He glances toward where you’re standing, but you don’t move. Don’t say anything else. Just watch. Always watching.
“Damn it,” he mutters, his heart pounding so loud he can barely hear anything else. “Damn it!”
The ticking is back. That familiar, maddening sound in the back of his mind. It’s been there for months now, growing louder, more insistent with every race, every lap. And now it’s deafening, drowning out everything else, a reminder of the time slipping through his fingers.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
“You’re running out of time.”
Your voice echoes in his head, soft and calm, but laced with something darker. Something inevitable.
“I know!” He shouts, his voice hoarse, desperate. He knows he’s running out of time. He’s known it for months. Every race, every moment, feels like it’s pulling him closer to the edge, closer to you.
But he won’t stop. He can’t stop.
Jules wouldn’t want him to.
The thought of Jules — of his godfather, watching him, believing in him — gives him a surge of strength. He clenches his jaw, his eyes narrowing as he pushes the car harder, faster, through the rain-soaked chaos.
“I’ll win,” he mutters, his voice fierce. “I’ll win for him.”
The car slides again, the tires struggling for grip, but he doesn’t care. He pushes harder, faster. The track is a blur beneath him, the rain blinding, but all he can think about is Jules. About you. About the ticking clock in his head.
And still, you’re there. Lap after lap, you watch him. Unblinking. Unwavering.
“You don’t have to do this,” your voice whispers in his mind, soft but relentless.
“I do,” he growls, his teeth gritted against the storm. “I have to.”
There’s a flash of lightning overhead, illuminating the track for a brief moment, and in that instant, he sees you clearer than ever. Your eyes meet his, and for a split second, everything falls away. The rain, the track, the car — it all disappears, leaving just the two of you, suspended in time.
“You can’t outrun this,” you say, and there’s something almost sad in your voice. “You know that.”
He shakes his head, his hands gripping the wheel so tight his knuckles are white. “I can try.”
You don’t argue. You never do. You just watch him, like you always do, waiting. Waiting for him to understand.
He takes the final corner, the car sliding dangerously close to the wall, and as he crosses the line, the checkered flag waving in the rain, he feels it.
The ticking stops.
And for the first time in months, there’s silence.
But it’s not a relief.
It’s a warning.
Because he knows — deep down — that this isn’t over.
Not yet.
You’re still watching. And he’s still running.
But he can’t run forever.
***
The lights of Abu Dhabi shimmer under the night sky, illuminating the track like a stage set for the final act. The crowd is a sea of red, Ferrari flags waving in anticipation, in hope. This is it. The final race. The decider.
Charles sits in his cockpit, the engine vibrating beneath him, the roar of the crowd a distant hum behind his helmet. He’s been here before — so close — but this time, it’s different. This time, he feels it. The championship is within his grasp. The ticking in his head has been growing louder all season, but tonight, it’s almost deafening.
Lap after lap, corner after corner, he’s been inching closer to victory. Every second matters, every move counts. His heart pounds in sync with the car, the pressure of the moment squeezing at his chest, but he doesn’t let it crack him. Not now. He can’t. Not when everything he’s fought for is just beyond the finish line.
“Stay focused, Charles,” the voice of his engineer comes through the radio, calm but urgent.
“I’m focused,” Charles mutters, his voice tight with determination. His eyes flicker to the rearview mirrors — no one behind him. He’s clear.
The laps tick down, and with each one, the championship feels closer, heavier. The car is holding together, despite the heat, despite the pressure he’s putting on it. Ferrari has given him everything, and now he’s about to repay that faith. The Tifosi will finally have what they’ve been waiting for.
The last corner comes too quickly, but his hands are steady on the wheel. He navigates the turn, his body leaning into it as if willing the car to stay glued to the track. And then he’s there — the straight before the finish line, the end of the race.
“Go, go, go!” His engineer’s voice rises, the excitement breaking through. “You’ve got it, Charles!”
The chequered flag waves ahead, and in a breathless moment, it’s over.
Charles crosses the line. World Champion.
For a second, he’s still. Then the realization crashes into him like a tidal wave. He’s done it. He’s won. The championship is his.
The radio crackles again, his engineer’s voice cutting through the noise. “Charles — Champion of the World! You’ve done it! We’ve done it!”
A shaky laugh escapes Charles’ lips. “We did it. We actually did it,” he breathes, disbelief and euphoria blending together.
He can hear the team screaming over the radio, their joy contagious. “Grazie, Charles! Grazie! You’re the World Champion!”
He laughs again, more freely this time, his body shaking with adrenaline. “For Ferrari. For the Tifosi.”
His eyes well up as he glances at the sea of red in the stands. It’s everything he ever wanted. Glory. History. His name etched forever in the annals of the sport. He lifts a hand, a small wave toward the crowd, though they can’t see him from inside the cockpit.
“I can’t believe it,” he mutters, almost to himself. “I actually did it.”
His heart is racing, but it’s not the same as before. This time, it’s relief. It’s joy. It’s everything he’s sacrificed for, everything he’s given to this dream.
He presses the brake pedal gently, ready to slow down for the cool-down lap, to take it all in, but-
Nothing happens.
A frown creases his brow. He presses again, harder this time.
Still nothing.
Panic flickers at the edge of his mind. “No … No, no, no …”
He pushes the brake pedal to the floor, but the car doesn’t respond. It doesn’t slow. The speedometer remains steady — too fast, too uncontrolled.
“Brakes aren’t working,” he says into the radio, trying to keep his voice calm, but his heart is pounding again, this time for a different reason. Something’s wrong. Very wrong.
“What? What do you mean?” His engineer’s voice is sharp, laced with fear.
“The brakes!” Charles snaps, his breath quickening. “They’re not working. I can’t slow down.”
He can feel the car resisting him, the engine still pushing forward, the barriers coming closer. The panic is rising now, clawing at his throat, tightening around his chest. He tries to steer, to find some way to slow the car, but there’s nothing. The barriers are closing in, the speed too high, too dangerous.
“Charles, try the emergency system-”
“I already have!” His voice cracks, desperation breaking through. The car is screaming beneath him, the speed a deadly weapon now, not a tool of victory.
And then he sees you.
You’re standing right by the barrier, just ahead, as if you’ve been waiting for him all along.
His heart stops for a second, time freezing around him. You’re so still, so calm, watching him. Watching him as the car barrels toward you, toward the barrier, toward the inevitable.
“No …” Charles breathes, his voice barely a whisper. His hands are shaking on the wheel now, his vision blurring from the speed, from the fear. He can see the crash coming, can feel it in his bones.
But you don’t move. You just watch.
His chest tightens, and the ticking is back, louder than ever. It’s all he can hear now, that maddening, relentless ticking.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
You don’t have to say anything. He knows. He’s always known. He’s been running toward this moment, toward you, since the beginning.
“Charles, try to-” His engineer’s voice cuts in again, but it’s too late.
The car slams into the barrier with a deafening crash, metal crunching, glass shattering. The world explodes around him, spinning, breaking apart. Pain flares through his body, white-hot and sharp, and then everything goes dark.
He’s still. Silent. The only sound is the faint crackling of the radio, his engineer’s voice distant, broken by static. “Charles? Charles, can you hear me? Charles?”
But Charles can’t move. He can barely think. The pain is numbing now, his body heavy, unresponsive. His vision is blurry, the world around him fading in and out of focus.
And then, through the haze, he sees you again. You’re walking toward him, slowly, steadily, through the wreckage of the car. The world is quiet now, eerily still, as if time itself has stopped.
Charles’ breath is shallow, his heart struggling to keep up. He can feel it — the end. It’s here. It’s always been here, waiting for him.
You come closer, your footsteps silent, your face calm, almost peaceful. You stop just beside the cockpit, your eyes meeting his.
“Is this it?” Charles whispers, his voice barely audible, his chest tight with the effort of speaking. His vision is fading fast, the darkness closing in. But you’re the only thing he can see clearly.
You don’t answer. You don’t need to. He knows.
You kneel beside him, your hand reaching out, and for the first time, you touch him. Your fingers brush against his skin, cold and soft, and in that moment, everything stops.
The ticking in his head goes silent.
The world fades.
And Charles Leclerc, World Champion, breathes his last breath.
He’s gone.
But his name — his glory — will live on forever. He gave everything. Sacrificed everything.
For Ferrari. For the Tifosi. For the dream.
And now, he is part of that legacy, forever written in the stars.
He won.
He died for glory.
***
The streets of Maranello are overflowing with grief.
Charles stands next to you, or at least what’s left of him does. His soul, untethered from the wreckage, feels weightless, though the weight of the moment is crushing. He can’t feel the ground beneath him anymore, can’t feel the warmth of the sun or the bite of the wind. All he can feel is the suffocating sorrow of the crowd, pressing in from every direction.
And the crowd. Dio mio, the crowd. Thousands — no, hundreds of thousands — of Tifosi flood the streets, a sea of red and black, their flags raised high, but there is no joy in their colors today. No triumphant cheers. Just the sound of sobs, muffled by hands pressed to faces, by the raw weight of a collective heartbreak that can’t be put into words.
The Ferrari factory looms behind them, draped in mourning banners, the Prancing Horse emblem hanging in black, somber and silent. The air is thick with the scent of incense, flowers — and death.
It’s impossible to look at them, and yet Charles can’t tear his eyes away. Grown men, hardened by life, stand with tears streaming down their faces. Fathers and sons alike, clutching each other as if holding on will somehow stem the flood of loss that grips them.
Charles looks at you, his breath — if he had any left — shuddering in his chest. “I’ve never seen anything like this.”
You’re silent, standing beside him, your presence both a comfort and a reminder. This is what it means to be gone. To be remembered, but no longer part of the world.
“Do they …” He trails off, his voice thick with disbelief. “Do they miss me this much?”
You glance at him, your eyes calm but unreadable. “What did you expect?” Your voice is soft, but there’s an edge of inevitability to it, as if the scene before him was always written in the stars, just like his fate.
“I don’t know,” he mutters, running a hand through his hair. Or at least, he tries to. The motion feels more like a memory than a reality. “I thought … I thought they’d move on.”
You tilt your head, the faintest hint of a smile ghosting across your lips. “They won’t. Not from this. Not from you.”
His eyes flicker back to the crowd, his chest tight. There’s no end to them. They fill the streets, every inch of space, like blood rushing through the veins of this small Italian town. He sees children on their fathers’ shoulders, wearing tiny Ferrari caps. Women clutching scarves, their eyes red from crying. He’s never seen this kind of devotion, not like this. Not for him.
He spots an elderly man near the front, his face weathered and lined, but the tears falling down his cheeks are fresh. He’s holding a photo of Charles — young, smiling, a memory of a better time. A time when the world still held onto hope.
Charles feels his throat tighten, his eyes burning despite the fact that he can’t cry anymore. “Why …” He swallows hard, his voice cracking. “Why are they all here? Why does it hurt them this much?”
You turn to face him fully, your expression steady, knowing. “Because you were theirs. Il Predestinato. The one they believed in. You gave them hope, and you gave them your life. They will never forget that.”
The title rings in his ears. Il Predestinato. The Chosen One. It always sounded so heavy, a burden he could never quite shake. And now, he wonders if it was ever truly his to bear.
A sudden commotion pulls his attention back to the crowd. The sea of red parts for a moment as a car rolls slowly through. Charles recognizes it immediately — a Ferrari, sleek and dark, the hearse that will carry his body through the streets of Maranello. It’s draped in the Italian flag, and atop it sits his helmet, the red and white standing stark against the backdrop of mourning.
The Tifosi bow their heads, some reaching out as if trying to touch the car, as if touching it will bring them closer to him. The car stops in front of the factory, and Charles watches, numb, as his casket is pulled out, carried by men he’s known for years. Faces he recognizes, but that seem distant now, like shadows from another life.
“They’re broken,” Charles whispers, his voice trembling. “I didn’t mean for this.”
You don’t respond immediately, just watching the procession with the same stillness you always carry. Finally, you speak, your voice low and quiet. “Sacrifice always leaves something behind. Even if it’s pain.”
Charles inhales sharply, though the air doesn’t fill his lungs the way it used to. He’s not sure how to process what he’s seeing, what he’s feeling. There’s a weight in his chest, heavy and suffocating. It’s not like the fear he felt in those final moments before the crash, but something deeper. Something that feels permanent.
The casket reaches the steps of the Ferrari factory, where the company’s executives, drivers, and engineers are gathered. They stand in silence, heads bowed, their faces etched with sorrow. Charles feels a pang of guilt, sharper than he expected.
“Was it worth it?” His voice is barely a whisper, almost lost in the overwhelming noise of the crowd.
You turn to him, your expression unreadable. “That’s not for me to decide.”
He clenches his fists, frustration bubbling to the surface. “But I gave everything! I died for this!” He gestures toward the casket, the crowd, the broken faces of his friends and family. “I sacrificed everything for Ferrari. For the Tifosi.”
You meet his gaze, unwavering. “And now, you have to decide if that sacrifice was worth it.”
Charles looks away, his heart — or whatever’s left of it — aching. He doesn’t know the answer. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
As the casket is carried up the steps, a priest steps forward. Charles recognizes him immediately. The Pope. The sight would almost be surreal if it weren’t for the gravity of the moment. The leader of the Catholic Church, come to bless his body, to give him the final rites. It’s more than Charles ever expected, more than he ever thought possible.
The Pope raises his hand, his voice carrying over the crowd in solemn Latin, offering a prayer for Charles’ soul. The crowd is silent now, the only sound the soft rustle of flags in the wind and the distant sobs of those too broken to hold back their grief.
Charles watches, his chest tight with emotion he can’t quite name. “Will they remember me?” His voice is small, almost childlike in its vulnerability.
You don’t hesitate. “They will never forget you. The Tifosi will name their children after you. They will pray for you, mourn for you, even as they themselves fade. Your name will live on, even when their names turn to dust.”
He blinks, trying to process your words. It’s everything he ever wanted, everything he worked for. To be remembered. To be loved. To be immortal in the eyes of those who mattered most to him.
“But will it be enough?” He asks, his voice barely a whisper. “Will it ever be enough?”
You turn to him, your gaze softening just slightly. “That’s something only you can answer.”
Charles looks back at the crowd, at the faces of the people who loved him, who believed in him, who now grieve for him. He doesn’t know the answer yet. Maybe he never will. But for now, all he can do is watch as the people of Italy — his people — mourn the loss of their hero, their champion, their Il Predestinato.
And perhaps, in their grief, in their endless love for him, he will find the answer he’s looking for.
As the Pope finishes his prayer, the crowd begins to chant.
“Forza, Charles! Forza Ferrari!“
The sound rises, a wave of devotion and heartbreak that crashes over the streets of Maranello. Charles listens, his heart aching with a mixture of pride and sorrow.
He is gone. But his name, his legacy, will live on forever.
And maybe — just maybe — that’s enough.
***
The afterlife is nothing like Charles imagined.
For one, it isn’t dark. There are no flames licking at the sky, no eerie fog swirling at his feet. There’s no light at the end of the tunnel either. Instead, there’s an odd stillness, like time has stopped moving but everything else remains in place. It’s hard to describe, really — neither peaceful nor unsettling, just … different.
He’s not sure how long he’s been here. Time doesn’t seem to exist in the way it used to. Days blend into one another, or maybe there are no days at all. Just moments strung together in an endless loop.
The one constant in this strange new reality is you.
You’re always close by, never too far, but never imposing. It’s a strange sort of companionship, one that Charles hadn’t expected to find in death. He watches you sometimes, your presence steady, your movements fluid and quiet. You’re not like anyone he’s ever met. And it’s no wonder — how could you be? You’re death.
But there’s something else about you, something he can’t quite put into words. You’re not cold or distant, despite the weight of your title. There’s a kind of sadness that clings to you, something that pulls him in even when he tries to resist it.
He’s sitting beside you now, his back against an old stone wall, looking out into the expanse of … wherever this place is. It’s quiet, as always, the only sound the faint rustling of something distant. Neither of you speak, but the silence between you is comfortable, not awkward.
After a while, Charles breaks it.
“Do you ever get lonely?”
Your head tilts slightly, as if the question surprises you. You don’t answer right away, and for a moment, Charles thinks you won’t. But then you shift, your eyes focused on some point in the distance, and your voice, when it comes, is soft.
“I suppose I do.”
It’s not what he expected you to say. He always thought of you as solitary, but not necessarily lonely. You were death, after all. You weren’t meant to have attachments, were you?
“How could you?” He asks, genuinely curious. “You’re … you. Death doesn’t get lonely.”
You let out a soft sigh, one that’s more resigned than sad. “Death doesn’t exactly allow for much companionship.” You glance at him, your eyes steady. “Most souls don’t stick around for very long. They move on. They’re not meant to linger.”
Charles absorbs your words, turning them over in his mind. It’s true — he’s the only one here, the only soul who hasn’t moved on. But the idea that you might be lonely, after all this time, unsettles him in a way he can’t explain.
“Do you know why I haven’t moved on?” He asks, his voice quiet.
You shake your head, your expression soft but unreadable. “No. I don’t understand it.”
He leans back against the wall, his mind racing. Why hasn’t he moved on? There’s no reason to stay, no unfinished business, no regrets strong enough to tether him to this place. And yet … he’s still here. With you.
You shift slightly beside him, your gaze drifting out into the distance again. “I’ve never had anyone stay this long,” you say, almost to yourself. “Most souls are eager to move on. They want peace, or closure, or something more.”
Charles frowns, looking over at you. “And what about you?”
“What about me?”
“Do you want them to stay?”
You pause, considering the question. “No,” you say eventually. “That’s not how it works. They’re not meant to stay. Neither am I.”
“But you get lonely.”
Your lips press together, and for a moment, Charles thinks he might have pushed too far. But then you nod, just once. “Yes.”
There’s something in your voice, something quiet and raw, that tugs at something deep inside him. He doesn’t understand why, but it matters to him. Your loneliness matters to him.
“Is that why you’re still here?” You ask, turning the question back on him. “Because of me?”
He opens his mouth to respond, but no words come. He’s not sure. Maybe it is. Or maybe there’s something else at play, something neither of you understands.
“I don’t know,” he says honestly. “But I don’t think I’m ready to leave.”
You look at him then, really look at him, and there’s a softness in your gaze that catches him off guard. He realizes in that moment how much time you’ve spent alone. You, the embodiment of death, the one who has seen everything end but never experienced the simplicity of someone choosing to stay.
He leans forward, his voice quieter now. “Have you ever-”
He hesitates, the question hanging in the air between you.
“What?” You prompt, your voice gentle.
“Have you ever … I don’t know. Experienced anything like this?” He gestures between the two of you. “With anyone else?”
You shake your head, almost sadly. “No. Death doesn’t leave room for that.”
Charles watches you for a moment, his mind spinning with the weight of it all. It seems so unfair, that you should be condemned to an eternity of loneliness, of watching others move on while you remain.
“Everyone deserves at least one thing,” he says softly, almost to himself.
You tilt your head, confused. “What do you mean?”
He swallows hard, his gaze locking onto yours. “Everyone deserves to experience their first kiss.”
Your breath catches ever so slightly, your eyes widening just a fraction. “Charles …”
“I’m serious,” he says, his voice soft but steady. “You should have that. You deserve it.”
You don’t respond, but your eyes search his, and for the first time since he met you, he sees something flicker there. Uncertainty. Vulnerability.
He leans in slowly, giving you time to pull away if you want to. But you don’t. You stay still, watching him, waiting.
And then, gently, Charles presses his lips to yours.
The kiss is soft, barely more than a whisper of a touch, but it’s enough. Enough to make the world tilt on its axis for a moment, enough to make the weight of everything around you both fall away.
You don’t pull back immediately. Neither does he. For a few seconds, it’s just the two of you, suspended in the stillness of the afterlife, sharing something fragile and beautiful.
When he finally does pull away, your eyes are still closed, your lips parted ever so slightly. Charles watches you, his heart — or whatever it is that beats in his chest now — pounding in a way that feels almost human again.
You open your eyes slowly, blinking as if coming out of a dream.
“I-” You falter, your voice soft and uncertain. “Why did you …”
He smiles gently, brushing a thumb across your cheek. “Because I wanted to. And because you deserve it.”
You don’t say anything for a long moment, just looking at him as if trying to make sense of what just happened. But there’s a warmth in your gaze now, something that wasn’t there before. Something new.
“I don’t understand you, Charles,” you admit softly, your voice barely above a whisper.
He laughs quietly, leaning his forehead against yours. “I don’t understand myself, either.”
You stay like that for a while, in the stillness of the afterlife, the weight of the world no longer pressing down on either of you. There’s no rush, no need for answers right now.
For the first time, in a long time, neither of you feels alone.
***
Time is strange in the afterlife.
Charles doesn’t know how long he’s been here — whether it’s days, months, or even years. There’s no ticking clock, no sun moving across the sky. It’s just … still. He’s gotten used to the quiet, to your presence nearby, and to the sense that nothing is rushing forward like it used to.
But something shifts one day. You’re sitting beside him, as usual, but there’s a new energy in the air, something that tugs at the quietness and pulls at the stillness. You turn to him, your eyes meeting his with a softness that he can’t quite place.
“I have something to show you,” you say, your voice quiet but clear.
He blinks, confused. “What do you mean?”
You don’t explain. Instead, you stand, offering him your hand. He hesitates for a second, but then he takes it. There’s always been an unspoken trust between you — something that keeps him tethered to you, even in death.
The world shifts around him, the stillness breaking apart. For a moment, everything spins, the ground slipping from beneath his feet as if he’s falling — but it’s not unpleasant. It’s more like drifting. And then, as suddenly as it starts, it stops.
Charles finds himself standing in a hospital room.
His breath catches, his mind scrambling to make sense of where he is. The sterile smell of disinfectant clings to the air, and the beeping of machines fills the silence. He looks around, trying to orient himself, but nothing feels real.
“Where-”
You don’t answer his question directly. Instead, you nod toward the center of the room. “Look.”
Charles follows your gaze, and his heart — if he still had one — stumbles in his chest. His older brother, Lorenzo, stands by the bed, his face soft with emotion. He’s holding someone’s hand. Charlotte, his wife, is lying in the hospital bed, her expression tired but glowing. But it’s the small bundle she holds against her chest that steals Charles’ breath.
A baby.
It takes him a moment to fully process what he’s seeing. Lorenzo’s wife. His brother. And a baby.
Charles steps closer, his movements slow, almost cautious, as if he’s afraid the scene will shatter if he gets too close. He watches as Lorenzo reaches down to stroke the baby’s tiny head, his face filled with a tenderness that Charles hasn’t seen in years.
“Lorenzo?” Charles whispers, though he knows his brother can’t hear him. His eyes are fixed on the child in Charlotte’s arms, a strange sense of awe and disbelief washing over him.
You step beside him, your voice soft as you speak. “I wanted you to meet Charles Tolotta-Leclerc.”
He freezes.
“What?” His voice barely makes it past his lips, and he turns to look at you, his eyes wide, searching your face for any hint of a joke. But you’re serious.
You nod toward the baby again. “They named him after you.”
Charles stares at the tiny bundle, his mind struggling to catch up with what you’ve just said. They named the baby after him? His head spins, a strange mix of emotions swirling through him — shock, disbelief, and something that feels dangerously close to pride.
Before he can fully process it, Lorenzo’s voice cuts through the quiet.
“I miss him,” Lorenzo says softly, his voice thick with emotion. “I wish he could be here. I wish he could’ve met him.”
Charlotte smiles up at him, though there’s a sadness in her eyes. “He would’ve loved him,” she says, her voice gentle. “He’ll be watching over him, I’m sure of it.”
Lorenzo’s expression tightens, his throat bobbing as he swallows hard. “I hope so,” he murmurs. “I hope he’s watching over us. Over Charlie.”
Charles stands frozen, his entire body — or soul, or whatever he is — going still. The weight of Lorenzo’s words crashes into him like a tidal wave, leaving him breathless. He watches as his brother’s eyes fill with unshed tears, and it breaks something inside him.
“I wanted him to be here,” Lorenzo says, his voice cracking. “I wanted him to be part of this, to see my son …”
Charles can’t take it anymore. He feels the pressure building inside of him, the ache in his chest growing unbearable. Tears prick at the corners of his eyes — not physical tears, but the kind that burn and sting nonetheless.
You’re beside him before he even realizes it, your presence calm and steady. You don’t say anything, but you don’t need to. He can feel your understanding, your quiet reassurance.
“I’m here,” he whispers, his voice trembling. “I’m watching.”
But no one can hear him.
Lorenzo’s voice cracks again as he continues. “I named him Charles because … I want him to be like you. I want him to grow up knowing who you were. What you stood for. And maybe … maybe he’ll feel like you’re with him, even if you can’t be.”
Charles presses a hand to his mouth, trying to stifle the sob that threatens to escape. The emotions are too much — grief, pride, love, all tangled together in a way that feels like it’s tearing him apart.
He looks at the baby again, the tiny life cradled in Charlotte’s arms, and something breaks open inside him. He didn’t know it was possible to feel so much after death. He thought everything would fade away, that he wouldn’t have to feel the weight of the world anymore.
But watching his brother, watching this moment … it’s almost unbearable.
You step closer, your hand resting gently on his shoulder. “It’s okay to feel it,” you say softly. “It’s okay to cry.”
Charles lets out a shaky breath, his body trembling with the force of his emotions. “I-I didn’t think it would be this hard,” he admits, his voice barely audible. “I thought … I thought I was ready to move on.”
Your hand stays steady on his shoulder, grounding him. “You gave everything for glory,” you say gently. “For Ferrari. For the Tifosi. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy to let go.”
Charles shakes his head, tears streaming down his face as he watches his brother, his nephew. “I don’t know if I can,” he chokes out. “I don’t know how to say goodbye.”
You don’t rush him. You let him stand there, watching, crying. He can feel your quiet strength beside him, your understanding. You’ve seen it all before, but for him, it’s new, raw, overwhelming.
Lorenzo leans down, pressing a kiss to his newborn son’s head. “He’s going to know all about you,” Lorenzo murmurs. “I’ll make sure of it.”
Charles can’t stop the sob that escapes him this time. He crumples forward, his hands covering his face as the grief finally spills over, uncontrollable. He feels like he’s breaking apart, like everything he’s held inside for so long is crashing down around him.
And then, you’re there. You wrap your arms around him, pulling him close, letting him cry into your shoulder. You don’t say anything, but your presence is enough. It’s steady, grounding, and for the first time since he’s been here, Charles feels like he isn’t alone in his grief.
He cries for a long time, the emotions pouring out of him in waves. He cries for the life he left behind, for the family he didn’t get to see again, for the child named after him who will never know him. And through it all, you stay with him, holding him, comforting him.
When the sobs finally subside, Charles pulls back slightly, wiping at his eyes. He feels raw, drained, but there’s a sense of release, too — like something heavy has been lifted from his chest.
“He’s going to be okay,” you say softly, your voice gentle. “Lorenzo will take care of him. He’ll grow up knowing who you were, what you meant.”
Charles nods, his throat too tight to speak. He looks back at the hospital bed, at Lorenzo and Charlotte, and for the first time, there’s a flicker of something like peace in his chest.
“Thank you,” he whispers, his voice hoarse.
You smile softly, brushing a tear from his cheek. “You don’t have to thank me.”
But he does. Because in this moment, he knows he couldn’t have faced this alone. Not without you.
Charles watches his brother one last time, his heart heavy but full. And though he knows he can never return to the life he once had, there’s a strange sense of comfort in knowing that a part of him still exists in the world — in the form of the tiny child cradled in Charlotte’s arms.
“I’ll watch over him,” Charles says softly, his voice steady now. “I promise.”
***
The air between you is different today. Charles can feel it before you even say a word. It's in the way your eyes linger on him a little longer, the way your silence stretches. You’ve been together for what feels like an eternity, yet time is meaningless here.
He looks at you, waiting for the explanation, the gentle unspooling of whatever truth you’re about to offer him.
Finally, you speak. “I think you’re ready.”
Charles frowns. “Ready for what?”
“To move on.”
The words hang in the air, heavier than he expected. His chest tightens, and he shakes his head, the instinctual reaction coming out almost before you finish speaking.
“I don’t want to move on.” His voice is sharp, edged with panic. He doesn’t fully understand what “moving on” means, but he knows it sounds final. It sounds like goodbye, and he’s not ready for that. Not now. Not after everything. Not after you.
You watch him quietly, a small smile pulling at the corners of your lips. “Charles, you’ve already moved on in so many ways. This-” you gesture between the two of you, “-this isn’t goodbye.”
He stares at you, his mind racing. “Then what is it? You’re telling me I have to leave, but I can’t — I can’t leave you.”
You laugh softly, the sound rich with irony. “I’m death, Charles. You’re dead. Why would you have to leave me?”
The realization hits him, and his protest falters. His hands fall to his sides as he processes what you’re saying. You’re death, and he’s already passed beyond life. There’s no need to fear separation, because you are intertwined with whatever comes next.
“So, I’m not really going anywhere?” He asks, cautiously hopeful.
“Not in the way you think,” you assure him, your voice softening. “But this place — it isn’t where you belong anymore. There’s something else waiting for you.”
Charles exhales slowly, relief and uncertainty swirling in his chest. “Something else?”
You step closer, your hand reaching out to brush against his arm. “You’ve done everything you needed to do here. You’ve won. You’ve found peace with your family. Now … it’s time.”
He looks into your eyes, searching for something — reassurance, maybe. He’s been with you through all of this, and yet, the idea of leaving this limbo, this stillness, feels daunting.
You tilt your head slightly. “Trust me.”
He wants to. He does. But there’s a tightness in his throat, a reluctance that refuses to fade. “What if I don’t want to go?” He murmurs, almost to himself.
You give him a knowing look. “Charles, you’re not going anywhere that I can’t follow.”
Something in him eases at your words. He nods, but there’s still a lingering hesitation. His life — his death — has been defined by choices. Choices to race, to sacrifice, to push past every limit. Now, there’s nothing left to fight, no championship to chase. This is the last choice he’ll have to make, and the finality of it shakes him.
“Okay,” he says, his voice quieter than he expects.
You smile, your fingers wrapping around his hand. “Come with me.”
The stillness of limbo shatters. The world around them changes, the coldness and vast emptiness giving way to something warm and vibrant. Colors he hasn’t seen in years flood his vision — deep blues, rich greens, and the golden light of a sun he hasn’t felt in what seems like forever.
Charles blinks, trying to make sense of where he is. There’s no pain, no exhaustion, just … peace. He stands there for a moment, taking it in, but then, something — someone — catches his eye.
He freezes, his heart — or whatever’s left of it — stopping in his chest.
Jules.
Jules is standing just a few feet away, watching him with that same familiar smile. The smile Charles grew up with, the one that got him through the hardest days.
His breath catches, and before he can stop himself, he runs.
It’s instinctive, like muscle memory, like he’s a kid again chasing after his godfather. His feet carry him faster than he thought possible, and when he reaches Jules, he throws himself into his arms without hesitation.
The warmth of the embrace floods through him, and Charles buries his face in Jules’ shoulder, a sob catching in his throat. He clings to him like he’s afraid to let go, the weight of everything — of life, of death, of everything in between — finally crashing down on him.
“I missed you,” Charles chokes out, his voice thick with emotion.
Jules laughs softly, holding him tight. “I missed you too, mon caneton.”
It’s overwhelming, this feeling of reunion. The tears fall freely now, and Charles can’t stop them, doesn’t want to stop them. He’s never cried like this before, not even when he won, not even when he died. But now, in the arms of someone who meant so much to him, it feels like everything is breaking free.
He pulls back, wiping at his face, but before he can say anything else, another voice breaks through the haze.
“Charles.”
Charles turns, his breath catching again as his eyes land on his father. He’s standing there, just a few feet away, watching his son with eyes full of pride.
“Papa …” The word slips from his lips, almost a whisper.
And then he’s running again, straight into his father’s arms. He feels like a child, all over again, seeking comfort and love and everything he’s missed. Hervé holds him, strong and steady, and for the first time in years, Charles feels like he’s truly home.
“I’m so proud of you,” Hervé murmurs, his voice full of emotion. “You did everything you said you would.”
Charles pulls back, his hands gripping his father’s shoulders as he looks at him, tears still streaming down his face. “I did it, Papa. I won.”
“I know,” Hervé says softly, his eyes shining. “I always knew you would.”
Charles nods, his throat too tight to speak. The pride in his father’s eyes is everything he’s ever wanted, everything he’s ever worked for.
But then, he turns.
You’re still standing there, watching quietly from a distance. Charles’ heart twists at the sight of you, at the thought of everything you’ve been through together. You’ve guided him, stayed with him, and now … now he understands.
“Thank you,” he whispers, his voice thick with gratitude.
He steps forward, closing the distance between you, and when he reaches you, he doesn’t hesitate. He cups your face in his hands, his thumbs brushing against your skin as he leans in.
His lips meet yours, soft and gentle, and in that moment, everything else fades away. There’s no race, no championship, no death. Just the two of you, together, in this place beyond life and time.
When he pulls back, his eyes meet yours, and he knows.
You smile at him, your eyes soft. “Glory was worth it, wasn’t it?”
Charles nods, his throat tight. “Yeah,” he whispers. “It was worth it.”
And somewhere, in the distance, the ticking starts again.
For someone else.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
He knows what he has to do. The weight of it settles into his chest like a stone, cold and heavy, suffocating the brief warmth of your kiss. His hands tremble as they slip away from your face, his fingers lingering for just a second longer, as if he can’t quite let go.
But he has to.
His breath shudders, a ragged thing that cuts through the silence. His lips part, but no words come out. There’s nothing left to say. You see the understanding in his eyes — he knows the truth now, the path that’s been laid out in front of him since the moment he died.
He belongs with them.
With Jules. With his father.
Not with you.
He turns, slowly, his back to you now. And just like that, the warmth is gone. It’s like the sun has disappeared from the sky, leaving nothing but the cold, endless void.
You want to stop him, call out his name, reach for him, something, anything, but the words die in your throat. He doesn’t belong to you. He never did.
“Charles …” you whisper, though you know he can’t hear you anymore. He’s already too far away. Already slipping through your fingers like sand.
He walks toward them — Jules and Hervé — his pace steady, purposeful. The space between you grows wider with every step, a chasm opening up that you can never hope to cross.
Jules smiles at him, that same familiar smile, the one that Charles would have given anything to see again. And his father … God, the pride in Hervé’s eyes is almost too much to bear. It’s everything Charles ever wanted. Everything he fought for, died for.
But you …
You stand there, watching.
Helpless. Silent. Alone.
Charles doesn’t look back. Not once.
You knew he wouldn’t.
You knew this moment was coming from the second you saw him in Melbourne, when his time started ticking. You were never meant to keep him. You were just a part of his story — a brief chapter in the long, winding tale of his life and death.
And now, that chapter is closing.
The void stretches before them, a vast expanse of nothingness, and as Charles reaches the edge, Jules and Hervé step forward to greet him. They wrap their arms around him, pulling him into their embrace, and for a moment — just a moment — Charles is home.
He glances over his shoulder, but not at you. His eyes skim past you, unseeing.
“Thank you,” he whispers, but the words aren’t for you. They’re for the life he left behind. The glory. The fame. The endless pursuit of something more.
And then he steps into the void.
You feel it before you see it — the pull, the way the world shifts as he crosses the threshold. It’s like a part of the universe is being torn away, a piece of the puzzle you’ve held together for so long is finally gone. And you’re left behind, standing on the edge, watching as they fade into the distance.
The ticking stops.
And for the first time in what feels like forever, you’re alone.
It’s funny, in a way. You’ve spent eons like this — watching souls come and go, guiding them from one world to the next. But with Charles, it was different. He stayed. He stayed longer than anyone else, long enough for you to feel something you weren’t supposed to feel.
Loneliness. Loss.
You told him you couldn’t be left behind, that death doesn’t experience separation, but that was a lie, wasn’t it?
Because now, as you stand there in the cold, empty void, watching the space where Charles once stood, you feel it — truly feel it — for the first time.
Heartbreak.
It’s a strange, hollow thing, the way it grips your chest, squeezes your lungs until you can’t breathe. You’ve seen it a thousand times, watched as humans crumbled under the weight of it, but this is different. This is personal.
This is yours.
He’s gone. He made his choice. And even though you knew it would end this way, it doesn’t make it any easier.
You take a step back, your feet moving of their own accord, retreating from the edge of the void. There’s no point in staying here. There’s nothing left to hold on to.
Charles is gone.
You close your eyes, trying to push down the ache in your chest, but it won’t go away. It lingers, sharp and raw, reminding you of what could have been, of the brief moments you shared that weren’t supposed to matter but now feel like everything.
For a second — just a second — you wish things had been different. That you could have kept him. That maybe, just maybe, you could have been something more than death. Something more than a shadow in the background of his life.
But that’s not who you are.
You open your eyes, the void still stretching out before you, endless and unforgiving.
Somewhere, far in the distance, the ticking starts for someone else. Another life, another death, another story to watch unfold.
But none of them will be Charles.
You’ll carry him with you, even if he never looks back. Even if he forgets your face. You’ll remember the way he smiled at you in the moments between life and death. You’ll remember the way his voice cracked when he thanked you.
And you’ll remember the way he kissed you, soft and brief, like a goodbye he couldn’t quite say.
You’ll remember it all.
And that, perhaps, is the cruelest part.
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