#And only when I know the quest is going to be longer/more difficult I default to the ones whose play style I'm most comfortable with

[perplexingly]

I've been wondering, how do people play Dragon Age games, does the majority stick to a specific team comp, or do they keep switching companions hoping to hear all sorts of banters?

[arch-dieangelo]

ON  ABANDONMENT  ,  TRUST  ,  AND  COMMITMENT  ,

hey. it’s me. let’s unpack this baggage. same warnings as the overall warnings of this blog apply.. familial death mostly. sprinkled with other death. post contains toa spoilers

alright let’s start with the obvious: bianca. coming out of the lotus hotel was nothing short of heavily disorienting. he had only bianca to rely on & didn’t remember anything at all of his family otherwise. put into some random boarding school where he could obviously see that things weren’t right and had monsters posing as teachers. he trusted bianca and nothing and no one else. 

then in comes percy and the hunters to the rescue and his mind is completely blown. he’s too naïve to not trust these people. even when bianca almost immediately oaths into the hunters, he doesn’t care because this new world is too damn cool to care about little things like that.

it’s not until bianca’s chosen to go on the quest that he starts feeling that sense of abandonment. he’s stuck in a year that just doesn’t feel right, talking in a language that’s still somewhat difficult for him, told that he’s a demigod, and his sister his only family the only kind face he knows ... abandons him to go across the country in search of a person that he doesn’t even know. he’s stuck at chb and even though he’s surrounded by things that should be cool, it sucks because he doesn’t have bianca to share it with. but whatever. it’s fine! bianca will be back.

except she doesn’t come back. he feels her die and percy’s confirmation destroys him. percy, the guy that nico trusted because he’d saved them, broke his promise to keep bianca safe. he doesn’t trust percy or the camp or the gods. all he can trust is himself. he has to live with the truth that bianca abandoned him to join the hunters without even knowing what she was getting into and that he is on his own from now on.

he’s reluctant to get close to anyone else from that point forward, even after tlo, he’s reclusive and isolates himself. doesn’t stay at camp for longer than a week right after the war because there is no space for him and honestly? whatever. he’s fine with that. if no one there trusts him, then he doesn’t trust them either. the further he keeps everyone from himself, the easier it is to not get attached (coughs. commit to a friendship) and the less likely he is to get abandoned again. he cannot take another hit to him like bianca’s death. 

he takes a risk with hazel, a calculated but necessary risk. after all, she is his sister. nico’s inclined to trust her immediately, and he appreciates having someone around anyway. the first time in years he’s allowed himself to get attached, and it’s good. it feels nice. he can’t let himself do this again.

when the seven rescue him from the twin giants, he trusts only hazel. for a while he talks solely to her other than to give advice/knowledge to the crew when needed. he’s exhausted and unwell and cannot afford to extend more than just the basic amount of ‘hazel trusts you so i trust you i guess’ level of trust. besides, they don’t trust him at all either. it’s a mutual thing.

anddddddddddddddd then the cupid thing happens. it’s terrible. it’s awful and jason is there to witness it all. he has to trust jason on default, because if he doesn’t, then nico’ll be burying himself. 

the trust he has with jason grows, and arguably jason becomes one of his closer friends on the argo ii. yay. friendship <3 

reyna !! we love u reyna. (am ignoring that she joins the hunters bc its stupid) he trusts her as much as he trusts hazel. they went through a harrowing journey together you just dont come back from that without committing to a strong friendship. he literally killed for her. he trusts her and trusts that she won’t abandon him but it’s hard. 

thennnnnnnn jason dies. nico can argue that jason abandoned him all he wants but that wasn’t abandonment. jason had highschool to finish in california and it simply couldnt have gone any other way. when jason dies, the wound that was left when bianca left is reopened.

conclusions: major abandonment issues. god forbid your muse is friends with nico and then they have to leave for an extended period of time without communication for some reason and then they show up again. nico’s gonna give them hell. it won’t be pretty it won’t be nice he’s going to be upset and childish about it no matter the circumstance. it’s a major character flaw but he’s working on it. maybe.

further conclusions: re: romantic relationships. good fucking luck. it’s gotta be a 3 year slow burn at least. trying to get him to trust anyone like that is very difficult. he’d try though. maybe. it’ll be hell on his end.

further further conclusions: he’s the kind of person to leave before he gets attached in any sense of the word in the first place. oh ? you’re a friend? uhhh too bad you’re not going to see him for a solid 3 months he’s gods know where. leaving first as soon as he realizes he can trust someone so that they cant abandon him >>>

EDIT 11/18/22 - i want to make it incredibly clear that i do not condone or support the way nico rationalizes his anger and uses his grief. i thought it was obvious but it’s clearly not so here. it’s incredibly unhealthy and very selfish but it’s also a primary character flaw. thus is life. he’s working on it and that’s all we can hope for.

[srbachchan]

DAY 4627

Jalsa, Mumbai                  Oct 31,  2020                 Sat 11:19 PM

Birthday - EF Vaijayanti Ravindra Damle ..  Sunday, November 1

Birthday Ef - Vishan Lal .. 

love and greetings to you both on this auspicious day .. be safe ..🙏

.. recents deaths and passings bring grief .. family , work and legendary .. they all had a life that gave so much to the world .. and the heavens welcome them .. in the peace .. 🌹🙏🌼🌸

.. and the Medium says it all ..

Things Most People Learn Too Late In Life ~ N Cole 

“Life is a journey of twists and turns, peaks and valleys, mountains to climb and oceans to explore.

Good times and bad times. Happy times and sad times.

But always, life is a movement forward.

No matter where you are on the journey, in some way, you are continuing on — and that’s what makes it so magnificent. One day, you’re questioning what on earth will ever make you feel happy and fulfilled. And the next, you’re perfectly in flow, writing the most important book of your entire career.

What nobody ever tells you, though, when you are a wide-eyed child, are all the little things that come along with “growing up.”

1. Most people are scared of using their imagination.

They’ve disconnected with their inner child.

They don’t feel they are “creative.”

They like things “just the way they are.”

2. Your dream doesn’t really matter to anyone else.

Some people might take interest. Some may support you in your quest. But at the end of the day, nobody cares, or will ever care about your dream as much as you.

3. Friends are relative to where you are in your life.

Most friends only stay for a period of time — usually in reference to your current interest. But when you move on, or your priorities change, so too do the majority of your friends.

4. Your potential increases with age.

As people get older, they tend to think that they can do less and less — when in reality, they should be able to do more and more, because they have had time to soak up more knowledge. Being great at something is a daily habit. You aren’t just “born” that way.

5. Spontaneity is the sister of creativity.

If all you do is follow the exact same routine every day, you will never leave yourself open to moments of sudden discovery. Do you remember how spontaneous you were as a child? Anything could happen, at any moment!

6. You forget the value of “touch” later on.

When was the last time you played in the rain?

When was the last time you sat on a sidewalk and looked closely at the cracks, the rocks, the dirt, the one weed growing between the concrete and the grass nearby.

Do that again.

You will feel so connected to the playfulness of life.

7. Most people don’t do what they love.

It’s true.

The “masses” are not the ones who live the lives they dreamed of living. And the reason is because they didn’t fight hard enough. They didn’t make it happen for themselves. And the older you get, and the more you look around, the easier it becomes to believe that you’ll end up the same.

Don’t fall for the trap.

8. Many stop reading after college.

Ask anyone you know the last good book they read, and I’ll bet most of them respond with, “Wow, I haven’t read a book in a long time.”

9. People talk more than they listen.

There is nothing more ridiculous to me than hearing two people talk “at” each other, neither one listening, but waiting for the other person to stop talking so they can start up again.

10. Creativity takes practice.

It’s funny how much we as a society praise and value creativity, and yet seem to do as much as we can to prohibit and control creative expression unless it is in some way profitable.

If you want to keep your creative muscle pumped and active, you have to practice it on your own.

11. “Success” is a relative term.

As kids, we’re taught to “reach for success.”

What does that really mean? Success to one person could mean the opposite for someone else.

Define your own Success.

12. You can’t change your parents.

A sad and difficult truth to face as you get older: You can’t change your parents.

They are who they are.

Whether they approve of what you do or not, at some point, no longer matters. Love them for bringing you into this world, and leave the rest at the door.

13. The only person you have to face in the morning is yourself.

When you’re younger, it feels like you have to please the entire world.

You don’t.

Do what makes you happy, and create the life you want to live for yourself. You’ll see someone you truly love staring back at you every morning if you can do that.

14. Nothing feels as good as something you do from the heart.

No amount of money or achievement or external validation will ever take the place of what you do out of pure love.

Follow your heart, and the rest will follow.

15. Your potential is directly correlated to how well you know yourself.

Those who know themselves and maximize their strengths are the ones who go where they want to go.

Those who don’t know themselves, and avoid the hard work of looking inward, live life by default. They lack the ability to create for themselves their own future.

16. Everyone who doubts you will always come back around.

That kid who used to bully you will come asking for a job.

The girl who didn’t want to date you will call you back once she sees where you’re headed. It always happens that way.

Just focus on you, stay true to what you believe in, and all the doubters will eventually come asking for help.

17. You are a reflection of the 5 people you spend the most time with.

Nobody creates themselves, by themselves.

We are all mirror images, sculpted through the reflections we see in other people. This isn’t a game you play by yourself. Work to be surrounded by those you wish to be like, and in time, you too will carry the very things you admire in them.

18. Beliefs are relative to what you pursue.

Wherever you are in life, and based on who is around you, and based on your current aspirations, those are the things that shape your beliefs.

Nobody explains, though, that “beliefs” then are not “fixed.” There is no “right and wrong.” It is all relative.

Find what works for you.

19. Anything can be a vice.

Be wary.

Again, there is no “right” and “wrong” as you get older. A coping mechanism to one could be a way to relax on a Sunday to another. Just remain aware of your habits and how you spend your time, and what habits start to increase in frequency — and then question where they are coming from in you and why you feel compelled to repeat them.

Never mistakes, always lessons.

As I said, know yourself.

20. Your purpose is to be YOU.

What is the meaning of life?

To be you, all of you, always, in everything you do — whatever that means to you. You are your own creator. You are your own evolving masterpiece.

Growing up is the realization that you are both the sculpture and the sculptor, the painter and the portrait. Paint yourself however you wish.”

Finding the reason to give be the element that survives all .. the giving when announced depletes the announce .. yes it is often told to speak .. but if the speak is not heard then ..?

.. so they that can feel the speak be the better .. it was for them not for the speak in any case .. but information they say needs to be put out .. really ?

for who ..?

for them that survive on information .. the information is mine .. the informed never were involved in it .. for them it is business .. my information is mine and is without a commercial value .. 

I know the commerce of value .. they that practice it are not wrong .. they are in its commercial .. they lead it with profession .. they chose it much all choose profession .. 

but all choosing never does agree with others .. no harm .. the other shall ever disagree , because it was never his .. they that disagree with their own are the divine .. they have the servility by their side .. a servile sum is never a subtraction .. 

it be ever in multiply ..

.. they that designed my costume for my film KHOON PASINA , never knew I would have to fight a real tiger in the film .. it was the most harrowing experience .. some day it shall be described .. done now would invite distress .. 

the ‘mahamaari’ has already taken care of that .. we do not need more ..

Amitabh Bachchan

[vg-sanctuary]

Bug Fables: The Everlasting Sapling

Moonsprout Games - Switch, PlayStation 4, Xbox One, PC - 2019

I don't like the core gameplay of 99% of all RPGs, but the ones I do like have been some of my favorite games I've ever played. case in point, Bug Fables: The Everlasting Sapling, a modern interpretation of the classic Paper Mario formula and an ideal example of indie developers adding to the legacy of a cult classic. its main feature is turn-based combat with action commands, like old Paper Mario or the Mario & Luigi series, and strategy in its intentional design and small health and damage numbers that goes way beyond "spam damage and heal every third turn, use mana items as needed". (in case you want to be 100% blind for your playthrough, past the Keep Reading link are some very minor spoilers: an item a specific cook can make after a side quest, some basic enemies, environments that are about halfway through the game, and the names of some medals.)

“wow, vg-sanctuary posting about a game that's not even two years old at time of writing? and it's an RPG? are you not a retro/legacy blog anymore? who are you and what have you done with the writer?” I still am a retro/legacy blog, mostly, just this time I thought I'd share something that its developers still get money from, and whose developers aren't mega corporations. and I just beat it, enjoyed it, and really felt like writing about it because it still doesn't have the popularity it deserves even after that puppet guy on YouTube talked about it. not that this post is going to reach any significant number of people, but still. I'll write about some more indie games sometime in the future. (and indeed I am writing about another RPG and you better believe it has a lot to talk about.)

anyway, Bug Fables starts with a brash little bee called Vi and a polite and honorable beetle named Kabbu wandering into an explorer's guild and not having a partner to join the guild with. they reluctantly decide they're going to fight together because companionship is a requirement for this guild, foiling off each other and sometimes off their third friend Leif, a blue moth they find in a cave, for the whole game. every character has a distinct personality and all the party members get some valuable character development through a side quest, which I really liked, but I'm no connoisseur of RPG stories. while I'm on story, people that come here looking for a well-made world will get what they want from the many optional lore books hidden around the world.

the plot becomes more complex and compelling as the game continues, though it generally lets gameplay take the spotlight. which is great, because the gameplay is also mostly great. about a third of it is doing puzzles on the overworld using the abilities of each character to move forward a la the Mario & Luigi series. they generally make use of whatever your newest overworld ability is, and some areas early on have inaccessible things you have to come back to, sort of like a Metroidvania except it isn't required to do this for progression. some puzzles take longer they could because they involve using Kabbu's horn to repeatedly fling an ice block many times over a distance. it's never egregious, but it could have been faster if the guy would use his arms. this is a minor caveat and not a majority of the game.

a lot of people probably don't know how the combat for this or Paper Mario works, and it's really important to Bug Fables, so I'll explain that here. it's turn based, which is typical, but basic attacks and skills need you to time a button press to do as much damage as possible. you can also time a button press when an enemy attacks to take less damage. Paper Mario and Bug Fables also both have medals instead of other equipment that give characters higher max HP or a new skill, for example. you have limited medal points and stronger medals require more points.

this is going to sound like a lot, but any RPG's combat will sound like a lot if you try to detail it in a single paragraph. the game introduces these things slower than I am here. in Bug Fables specifically, the character standing in the front of the group does one extra damage but is more likely to be attacked, and you can pass turns from one character to another in exchange for that character dealing one less damage (which is a lot because basic attacks only deal two damage by default). certain enemies can only be hit by certain attacks; some enemies fly, so Kabbu can't hit them until Vi knocks them down with her beemerang. not a typo, beemerang. and many of Bug Fables' status effects have upsides -- being paralyzed reduces damage taken everything by one, poison has many medals that make it a good thing, and being asleep heals the sleeping character every turn. there are others that are straight up bad things, though, and usually don't come until later. all of this adds up to even small encounters having strategic depth, which is great, and if you don't feel like small encounters you can just avoid them. skills that would typically be relegated to one character, like healing and support skills all going to one, are instead split between party members to make decisions more difficult in a good way. there's also a lovely medal that instantly kills any enemy the game deems too easy for you, sort of like in Earthbound.

I figure I spent more time doing housekeeping like cooking (simple A+B=C or A-becomes-B crafting), buying items, and arranging medals in Bug Fables than in any other RPG, which is because it was designed that way. by the way, cooking recipes start hidden, but a foodie at each restaurant will share some strong ones for free, which is a big help early on. anyone who's played The World Ends with You (i.e. me) will be spoiled by its excellent quality of life: no consumable items and you instantly heal to full after every encounter. it makes items seem like a ridiculous formality that RPGs only still have because they've had them for years, but in Bug Fables any item that isn't simple healing -- a lot of them aren't simple healing -- has great strategic use, and the exact way you spend your medal points can determine whether you win or lose any fight, especially bosses. for example, one character having one extra damage for two turns when they typically only do two is pretty important, especially when they use an attack that does multiple hits, and having it in item form saves valuable medal points and skill points. part of that time was kind of a waste, though, because I generally had one set of medals I use for multiple enemies and one I use for single enemies like bosses. being able to save loadouts would have helped a lot. I would like to compliment Bug Fables on allowing you to restart any boss with different medals without having to repeat cutscenes, and commend it for letting you do-over your level up bonuses late in the game when it starts to matter.

it's not like spending a lot of time on strategizing before fights is strictly mandatory. I was mostly playing on hard mode where enemies have more health and more difficult attacks, and mostly with a medal called Hard Hits that makes all enemies deal one extra damage in exchange for extra money after each fight. it can be less difficult if you'd like, but it's never mindless; even if you're doing a strategy that manages 20 or 30 damage (again, a lot in this game) in a single turn, it takes effort to choose your medals to do so much damage and actually play the strategy out in combat. the combat strategy is the best part of Bug Fables, and it makes each fight almost like a puzzle. I've typed some form of "strategy" six times so far, which is fair because it's the best part of Bug Fables. don't let it put you off, though, it's RPG combat strategy, not chess-like or RTS or something, so if you've enjoyed any other turn-based RPG it should be easy to get used to.

it's also worth mentioning the ample side content. each chapter of the game unlocks a handful of side quests, some about trading, some about combat, and almost as many bonus bosses as main bosses. you're allowed to fight them fairly early on, and a few become available after the final boss that are actually a bit harder than it in classic Paper Mario fashion. basically, if you like Bug Fables, there's a lot of it to play. there's even a trading card minigame because of course there is. it's fairly fleshed out, too, and unlike the one in Chocobo Tales the animations between turns don't take six years. the reward for the whole card side quest isn't something that's important for combat, so you can skip it if you don't like it; I didn't especially like it so I think that was a great decision on the developers' part.

rewards for some of the other side content, though, are so good it's kind of a wonder they can be completely skipped. it doesn't make the game harder to not have those skills or medals, but they are some of the best in the game and undeniably really useful. they make great side quest rewards in that sense, but it's important to know for the people that usually wouldn't do side content. I don't know if that's a common kind of player, but just in case. (this game's 100% achievement has been earned by a sky-high 5.9% of players on Steam. usually it's more like 2% or less. the point is none of the extra content is overly obtuse.)

I will complain about the forced stealth sections though. and be astounded that they fixed the main issue with them in the last stealth section. these are minor caveats and take well under an hour total unless you're really, really, really bad at sneaking, but they bothered me when I got to them. I mean, I understand why they're in the game, I understand why Zelda has them, but I didn't really like them. the main issue for all but the last stealth section is that there's no vision cone or other indication that "if you stand here they will see you" or even an opportunity to recover from mistakes which are incredibly important for playable stealth. the last stealth section does have a vision cone and does have an opportunity to recover from mistakes, which is a great step up. I would like to use even more italics to remind you that these sections total less than an hour of gameplay. Zelda: Breath of the Wild's forced-ish stealth was much worse than this.

I don't know where else to put it, so I'll add here that the soundtrack is great and the graphics are perfectly Gamecube-y and the sprites capture the cuteness of Paper Mario really well, even though they're, you know, bugs. each environment is distinct and themed well, and each one’s music matches well. I really wish I knew how to talk about music because there are a lot of different songs in this game that work well for what they go with. boss music sounds intense and boss-y and appropriate for each boss you're fighting, the not-music hits just right, and everything else feels good. some songs use Nintendo 64 MIDI instruments, which I loved. and the bee boss music has a synth that sounds like bees buzzing.

anyone that likes RPGs -- and even some people that don't -- will probably enjoy the story and strategy that make up the excellent Bug Fables. it goes beyond being a homage to Paper Mario and becomes its own thing entirely, though its roots are obvious from the art style. not that this takes away from it -- Paper Mario is a great legacy, and this manages to be even better. for all its little bad things there are a dozen great ones. I admit I haven't played the classic Paper Mario games, but this made me want more -- I guess I'll have to go back while I hope for Moonsprout Games to continue forward.

[vallonde-laid-bare]

DM Tip #3: Signposting and Player Autonomy

On player hand-holding and plot advancement

One discussion I see pop up time and again in tabletop gaming circles is the classic "Open-world Vs. Railroading" argument. Do you run your games open-world and allow your players to influence that world, or do you run story-heavy games where the players move along a predetermined path to experience a story you've meticulously crafted? While both of these are legitimate styles of play with their own pros and cons, I think many people miss the fact that you can, and in my opinion should, incorporate both of these into how you run games to best fit achieve what you and your players want out of a campaign. Let's run over both extremes and then we'll talk integrating both fluidly into how you run session. This discussion will probably be most useful for inexperienced DMs since most of this is fairly basic, but feel free to read on regardless.

OPEN-WORLD, PLAYER-DRIVEN PLOT: This is a very enticing style of game for a lot of players. Getting dropped into a whole fantasy world with little more than your wits and your companions to keep you alive and win your fortune is very fun, and getting to explore and effect the world as you see fit can be exhilarating. These games often involve a large number of smaller plots happening simultaneously, sometimes with a larger plot tying them all together, many of which directly involve the players or are affected in some way by what they've done. There are obvious pros to running this style of game:

- You have the freedom to include a lot of different things, from plots to monsters to organizations, which is great for DMs and players who have tons of ideas or get bored of doing the same thing easily.

- Player choice is given a high priority and this can greatly improve immersion and player investment.

- When properly run, open-world games can truly feel alive. Story-driven games may tell a great story, but feeling free inside that story is much more rare.

- It's great improv experience!

But, while there's a lot of good to go around here, there are also cons to consider:

- Open-world games are a LOT of work for the DM. Where plot DMs usually start a campaign already knowing where things will be going at any given time, open-world DMs will usually be writing the plot as it happens which means drastically increased amounts of prep if you don't want the stories you tell to come off as shallow and unrefined.

- Not all players do well in these types of games. Some need direction and purpose otherwise they'll just feel lost and listless.

- As the DM of an open-world game, you HAVE to be able to improvise. A DM that isn't a skilled improviser is going to make plot and interactions incoherent and stilted. Names, backstories, connections to people and places within the setting, you need to be able to come up with this stuff on the fly, even more-so than in a standard story-driven game.

- You'll need a fleshed out world to make this work. Even as a skilled improvisor, if you don't have a large world with compelling details and realistic interactions between its people, places, and events, your players will feel it as a lack of compelling choices

STORY-DRIVEN, PLOT-CENTRIC: On the opposite end of the spectrum, you have campaigns that are plot-driven. In these games, players follow a path that takes them through a pre-written story and are generally discouraged from moving beyond the boundaries of that plot. Modules and official campaigns follow this formula, which makes it the "Default" mode of play for a lot of people; when you think of D&D, plot-centric games tend to be what you imagine. As with open-world games, there are obvious pros and cons to playing like this

- The story told will almost always be better, or at least more coherent and sensible, and usually more well-paced. Knowing what is happening and where your players will go with what you give them makes writing compelling content worlds easier. Your twists can be readied far in advance and tweaked to make them perfect. Your NPCs can be fleshed out and perfectly placed. Story pacing will be less difficult to maintain and often more intriguing.

- Campaigns like this are much easier on the DM. You have less prep and the prep you do will be more focused and effective. Instead of trying to flesh out 10 plots in a week, you can focus on making the story you tell the best it can be. A lot of prep time is wound up in moving plot forward and maintaining coherency, and if you already know where things are going that's a far easier mountain to climb.

- Players have less decisions to make! This may seem like a negative, but a lot of groups suffer from choice paralysis or become split on what they'd like to do at any given point. By giving them an obvious road forward and making it the only viable road forward, you bring your players together and give them unity of purpose which is something you can't discount. 

Since this is real life and nothing is perfect, let's go over what I see as the major cons of this play style:

- It's narrow and doesn't encourage creativity and player initiative. When your players are given the obvious path forward on a silver platter, they often become complacent and let the plot happen to them instead of guiding the story with their actions.

- These games aren't always good for those of us (player or DM) that doesn't focus well. If your players aren't connecting with the plot happening around them or you're not having fun with the direction things are going, too bad. As a DM running a homebrew game you can fix this if you're not enjoying the path you've laid out for the campaign, but as a player you have little recourse other than petitioning your DM for some sort of shakeup. This is especially difficult with published campaigns because everything is already written down and finalized. If you change things much, that book is no longer going to help you run your game.

- In a lot of circumstances, running these games can make your world feel small. Adventure may be just over the horizon, a new civilization just beyond that border, but those aren't for you. You've got other things going on.

There are plenty of ways to mitigate the drawbacks and play to the pros of both styles, but there are two things to consider before choosing one for your campaign.

1.) What do your players want? This is a session 0 or pre-session 0 question. If you start with a foundation your players will enjoy, you're already on your way to running a successful campaign. What you want is important as well, but if what you want doesn't align with what the players want maybe you should reassess the viability of running that game with those players. Even if your players are having a great time, if you're not enjoying yourself it will become obvious and the game will feel tedious. Remember, D&D is a collaborative game; EVERYONE should be having a good time, not just the players and not just the DM. 

2.) What are you and your players equipped to handle? Do they have the motivation to push a plot without hand-holding? Do you have the time to effectively run that game? Does your world have the content for that kind of game? Even if you and your players want to run an open-world game, if you can't commit to making it work then the odds are it will fall flat fairly quickly.

From my experience with both game styles, I can say with some amount of confidence that some degree of hybridization of the styles will usually be the answer to this question. Since every group and every game is different, the best I can give you a couple of pointers and let you take it from there.

- The illusion of choice is a powerful tool. Even if there’s a choice of ten different towns for the players to go to, you only technically need to build one; the one they choose to visit. If you build a dungeon and then your players choose not to check it out, they’ll never know if you reuse it later on. This can help you keep up with the large amount of prep that open world games require while preserving the experience for your players.

- Figure out how important the story, alongside other elements of game play, is to your players. The more important they find the story, the more you should consider playing a linear game. When beginning a campaign, I have my players rank these different categories from 1-7 in order of importance to them, 7 being the most important and 1 being the least. By doing this I can get a numerical ranking of different aspects of the game and build sessions that will best cater to their desires and expectations. - Combat - Social encounters - Puzzle solving - Dungeon crawls - Story - Side-quests - Loot 

- Build the beginning and end of the story, but let your players fill in the middle. A gentle guiding hand can connect even the most random events with a little finesse, so even if your players are choosing where to go, the fact that you’re influencing your player’s choices may as well mean you’re calling the shots.

- Even if you hand-hold your players at every turn of the story, you can give them choice in the form of non-essential side quests. Sprinkle these bad boys throughout the story and have the outcomes of the party’s decisions have some call-back further into the story. Proper management of side quests can go a long way toward making a railroad seem more scenic.

- Have your players visit somewhere exotic at some point in the campaign. Doesn’t matter if it’s only brief, moving beyond the boundaries you’ve set for the campaign can make the world feel much larger.

Ok so that was very long and rambley and probably nothing the pros out there don’t already know, but I hope there was something in the non-sense that may help a new DM decide how they want to structure their first game. Being prepared for what you’re getting yourself into can make actually getting into it a lot easier lol. (Art by Grimley Fiendish)

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #467

Top Ten Romantic Couples in Superhero Movies (& TV)

It’s Valentine’s Day this weekend. Woo, I guess? I dunno. I’m not generally cynical about holidays but Valentine’s Day does seem to be entirely focused on selling cards without any of the associated pleasantries of, say, Christmas or Halloween. I’d rather just try to be nice to my wife all year round. At least because of the apocalypse all the restaurants are closed so we can’t be tempted to pay through the nose for a set menu. Anyway, it gives me a strained excuse to tie this week’s Top Ten to something vaguely romantic.

Superheroes are often horny. This seems to be a defining characteristic of the artform. Whether it’s their descent from ancient myths, or their creators’ origins in writing romance books, or just a function of genre storytelling in the mid-twentieth century, there’s quite a lot of romantic angst in superhero stories. Pretty much every superhero has a significant other; Lois Lane even got her own comic that was actually called Superman’s Girlfriend, Lois Lane. It’s hard to conceive of many heroes without their primary squeeze, and often – as we get multiple media adaptations of characters – we can add diversity or a twist to the proceedings by picking a lesser-known love interest, or one from earlier in the character’s fictional history; for instance, Smallville beginning with Cark Kent’s teenage crush Lana Lang, or The Amazing Spider-Man swapping out Mary Jane Watson for Gwen Stacey.

Anyway, I’m talking this week about my favourite superhero couples. I’ve decided to focus on superhero adaptations – that is, the characters from movies and films based on superhero comics or characters. I find this a little bit easier as I don’t have a phenomenal knowledge of sixty years of Avengers comics, but I have seen all the movies a bunch. As many comics as I’ve read, and as much as I love various ink-and-paper pairings, I can arguably talk more authoritatively about the fillums than the funny books. And let’s be real here, kids: my favourite comic book romantic couple is Chromedome and Rewind in Transformers. Also if I split them in two I can talk about comic couples next year. Woohoo!

It really is hard thinking of these things nearly nine years in, folks.

So! Here, then, are my favourite movie-TV Couples in Capes. Obviously there’s a fair bit of MCU in here. And I’ve been pretty specific about “superhero” romances: so no Hellboy and Liz Sherman, sadly (and I do really like them in the movies, of which they really need to make a third). Some are civvies-and-supes; some are capes-and-capes. You’ll work it out.

Superman & Lois Lane (Christopher Reeve & Margot Kidder, Superman, 1978): who else? The most famous romance in all of comics, a combo so strong it remains the focus of pretty much every interpretation of the character, but arguably never better than here; so good are Reeve and Kidder that their fast-talking banter and inherent goodness set the template for a huge swathe of other comic adaptations to follow. She’s sarky and streetwise; he’s gormless and good-hearted. She leaps in where angels fear to tread, he’s an invulnerable alien in disguise. They have buckets of chemistry and an utterly believable (tentative) romance. They’re perfect performances and the scenes of Clark in Metropolis for the first time (including Superman’s balcony interview with Lois) are the best bits of an already excellent film.

Raven & Beast Boy (Tara Strong & Greg Cipes, Teen Titans Go!, 2014): on a totally different register, we have the comedy stylings of the Teen Titans. Raven and Beast Boy had a flirtatious relationship on the original Titans series, but on this longer-running and much more demented comedy follow-up, they were allowed to make the romance more official (I nearly said “explicit” but, y’know… it’s not that). The jokes and banter – BB the love-struck, jealous suitor, Raven the too-cool partner who feigns nonchalance – build and build, but every now and again they’re allowed a moment of genuine heartfelt romance, and it hits all the more strongly amidst the ultra-violence and outrageous comedy.

Captain America & Agent Carter (Chris Evans & Hayley Atwell, Captain America: The First Avenger, 2011): the premier couple of the MCU, Steve and Peggy spend a whole movie flirting (she sees the goodness of him even before he gets all hench) before finally arranging a date that, we all know, is very much postponed. Peggy casts a shadow over the rejuvenated Cap and the MCU as a whole, founding SHIELD, inspiring dozens of heroes, and counselling Steve to her dying days. She remains Steven’s true north (like Supes with Lois, Peggy’s an ordinary human who is the actual hero of an actual super-powered hero), guiding him through the chaos and tragedy of Endgame, until they both get to live happily ever after. Even though he snogged her niece.

Batman & Catwoman (Michael Keaton & Michelle Pfeiffer, Batman Returns, 1992): Pfeiffer delivers a barnstorming performance as Selina Kyle, all barely-supressed mania and seductive feline charm. The chemistry between her and Keaton is electric, and propels the film forward even when the Penguin-runs-for-mayor stuff gets a bit daft and icky. There are beautiful moments of romantic comedy when they’re both trying to cover up injuries they gave each other, and of course there’s “mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it” – a line that runs a close second to “dance with the devil” when it comes to Burton-Batman quotations (just ahead of “never rub another man’s rhubarb”). Burton, generally favouring the macabre villains over the straighter edges of the heroic Batman, nevertheless makes great play of the duality of the character, and how this is something he and Catwoman can share – both “split right down the centre” – but also how this means a happy ending for either of them is impossible.

Spider-Man & Mary Jane (Tobey Maguire & Kirsten Dunst, Spider-Man, 2002): whilst a lot of this is really down to the sexiness of them kissing upside-down in the rain, there’s a nice duality to Peter and MJ seeing through each other too: he sees the wounded humane soul beneath her it-girl persona; she sees the kind, caring man underneath his geek baggage. This arc plays out beautifully across the first two films (ending in that wonderfully accepting “Go get ‘em, tiger”) before sadly getting all murky and unsatisfying in the murky and unsatisfying third film. Still: that kiss.

Wonder Woman & Steve Trevor (Gal Gadot & Chris Pine, Wonder Woman, 2017): probably the film that hews closest to the Clark-Lois dynamic of the original Superman, to the point where it includes an homage to the alleyway-mugging scene as Diana deflects a bullet. Steve is Diana’s window into man’s world, showing her the horror of the First World War but managing to also be a sympathetic ally and never talking down or mansplaining anything. He’s a hero in his own right – very similar to another wartime Steve on this list – and very much an ideal match to the demigod he’s showing round Europe. And, of course, Gadot’s Diana is incredible, both niaive and vulnerable whilst also an absolute badass. There is an enduring warm chemistry to the pair, with a relationship which we actually see consummated – relatively rare for superheroes! The inevitability of his heroic sacrifice does nothing to lessen the tragedy, and no I’ve not seen Wonder Woman 1984 yet.

Hawkeye & Laura Barton (Jeremy Renner & Linda Cardellini, Avengers: Age of Ultron, 2015): I love these guys! I love that Hawkeye has a relatively normal, stable family life. He has a big old farmhouse that he wants to remodel, he’s got two kids and a third on the way… he’s got something to live for, something to lose. It humanises him amidst the literal and figurative gods of the Avengers. And they’re cute together, bickering and bantering, and of course she is supportive of his Avenging. I hope we get to see more of Laura and the kids in the Hawkeye series, and I hope nothing bad happens to them now they’ve all been brought back to life.

Wanda Maximoff & Vision (Elizabeth Olsen & Paul Bettany, Avengers: Infinity War, 2018): theirs is a difficult relationship to parse, because they’re together so briefly. They cook paprikash together in Civil War before having a bit of a bust-up, and by Infinity War they’re an official couple, albeit on the run (and on different sides). That movie does a great job in establishing their feelings for each other in very little screentime, with their heroic characteristics on full display, before the shockingly awful tragedy of Wanda killing Vision to save the galaxy, before Thanos rewinds time, brings him back to life, and kills him again, and then wins. Their relationship going forward, in WandaVision, is even trickier, because we don’t know what’s up yet, and at times they’re clearly not acting as “themselves”, defaulting to sitcom tropes and one-liners. Will Vision survive, and if he does, will their relationship? Who can say, but at least they’ll always have Edinburgh, deep-fried kebabs and all.

Batman & Andrea Beaumont (Kevin Conroy & Dana Delany, Batman: Mask of the Phantasm, 1993): woah, Batman’s back but it’s a different Batman, say whaaaat. Animated Batman has had a few romances, from the great (Talia al-Ghul) to the disturbingly icky (Batgirl, ewwww), but his relationship with Andrea Beaumont is the best. Tweaking the Year One formula to give young Bruce a love interest that complicates his quest is a golden idea, and making her a part of the criminality and corruptiuon that he’s fighting is a suitably tragic part of the Batman origin story. Conroy and Delany give great performances, him wringing pathos out of Bruce, torn between heart and duty (“It just doesn’t hurt so bad anymore,” he wails to his parents’ grave, “I didn’t count on being happy”), her channelling golden age Hollywood glamour. The tragedy of them rekindling their relationship years later, only to wind up on different sides again, is – again – so very Batman. It’s a beautiful, earnest, very Batman relationship, a great titanic tragedy of human emotions and larger-than-life ideals. And they both look good in black.

Harley Quinn & Poison Ivy (Kaley Cuoco & Lake Bell, Harley Quinn, 2020): this one’s a little bit of a cheat, as I’ve only seen the first season of the show, where Harley and Ivy don’t even get together. But in the wider, non-canonical sense of these being characters who are part of the pop-cultural ether, Harley and Ivy will always be a couple, I feel; and there’s definitely enough in there already to see the affection between them, not yet consummated. They adore each other, are always there for each other, and as the season follows Harley getting out of her own way and acknowledging the abuse of her relationship with Joker – and finally getting over it in the healthiest way possible for a bleached-white manic pixie in roller derby gear. And all through this, holding her hand, is Ivy. They’re utterly made for each other, and I’m glad that they do get together in season two. I hope that Margot Robbie’s rendition of the character can likewise find happiness with a flesh-and-blood Ivy. Hell, just cast Lake Bell again. She’s great.

Just bubbling under – and I’m really gutted I couldn’t fit them in – was Spider-Man & M.J. from Spider-Man: Far From Home. Like Batman, I’m comfortable including multiple continuities here, and those cuties offer a different spin on a classic relationship.

[freedomscall-aa]

DRAGON AGE II

      THE CITY OF CHAINS, ACT I

Fleeing from the Grey Wardens following his allowance of Justice into his body and the bloody events that took place immediately afterwards, Anders takes refuge within the walls of Kirkwall among the hundreds of other Ferelden refugees who now call the city home after the yearlong Blight laid waste to townships and smaller hamlets. He establishes a small clinic in the filth and crime ridden under city, Darktown, where he offers his talents as a healer near free of charge to suffering, displaced families and individuals. Through rumors his prior association with the Grey Wardens and the maps he carried with him eventually becomes a topic of interest to a fellow Ferelden and their growing gang of misfits.

This verse takes place during the events of the game's first act and thus encompasses Anders' first encounter with Hawke, the death of Karl, the trek into the Deep Roads, etc. The default state of this verse leans towards a friendship path with Hawke, but will be adjusted as needed.

      THE CITY OF CHAINS, ACT II

Three years out from the Dark Roads expedition Anders has found his connections to the now wealthy Hawke and their associates something akin to a gift from the Maker himself in various ways. Life is now somewhat easier with the support of those in the group he considers himself friends with, though the mage's personality is forever changed by the death of Karl all those years ago. Over time he has developed a propensity to further isolate himself when not following the call of Hawke and has been known to display forms of increasingly paranoid behavior by those he comes into close contact with. Despite this, Anders further commits himself to tending to refugees when not out and about with Hawke. In turn, he trusts their loyalty to protect knowledge of his whereabouts from Templars who've caught wind of his activities. Their protection is a small blessing in and of itself, as Justice's, now Vengeance's, strength has further manifested itself with his body-- Anders now finding it increasingly difficult to control himself from causing harm when face to face with those within the Templar Order. Overly sympathetic to the the plight of the mages imprisoned within the Kirkwall's Circle now more than ever, the blond has begun to dedicate himself to pursuing a feat he once considered madness before his merger with Justice-- the separation of the Circle from the Chantry. In-between his time spent with patients within the clinic and Hawke's adventures, Anders begins writing the first draft of what would become his manifesto and finds himself becoming involved in a small resistance group of like minded apostates to help ferry runaway mages out of the city.

This verse encompasses the whole of act two and the three prior mentioned years following Hawke's expedition in the Deep Roads. The default state for this verse assumes Anders begins the act on a full friendship path with a Hawke that has flirted with him, then after Leandra’s death said Hawke quickly swings towards a semi-rival in the later half, leaving Anders heartbroken. In this verse Anders is ultimately able to regain control of himself from Vengeance to prevent the death of the female mage in his companion quest, Dissent.

      THE CITY OF CHAINS, ACT III

Another three years pass, the time spent with the mage finding himself at constant odds with himself. His inner struggles with Vengeance are a day to day activity, Anders for a period of time devoid of all interest in the plight of his fellow mage due to seeing himself as nothing but an abomination after almost losing himself completely to Vengeance's urge to kill a young mage some years ago. He has become further withdrawn with his attempts to regain control over the spirit inhabiting his body, a battle that he will ultimately lose in the end. As a consequence of this fight of control he has further developed traits that reflect the current state of his mentality-- prone to increasingly wild mood swings ranging from fits of melancholy to purely manic phases of determination to channeling his bitingly vicious anger at whoever is unfortunate enough to be at the opposite end of his staff during his excursions with Hawke and company. To further this issue, he has begun to suffer lapses in memory when not out with the Champion; often finding himself in locations he has no recollection of traveling to and regularly discovering he is missing large gaps of time out of his day to day activities. To those who he considers himself closest to it is obvious that he's begun planning something, though what and if it is Anders himself in control of the process is unknown.

This verse features Anders at his worse, markedly mentally ill with no feasible way out of act three's inevitable conclusion. His relationships with Hawke and the rest of the gang are heavily strained and the default state of this verse assumes him to be a full rival path with a Hawke who, despite being heavily traumatized by what happened to their mother, ultimately sides with the Mages. You all know how it ends, so I imagine I don't have to say much more.

DRAGON AGE: INQUISITION

      WHAT VENGEANCE HAS WROUGHT

THIS VERSE WILL EVENTUALLY BE REVAMPED TO ADD EASIER INTERATIONS FOR INQUISTION BASED MUSES, BUT MOST OF WHAT IS HERE IS STILL ACCURATE. FOR A SNEAK PEEK REGARDING WHAT I’M PLANNING TO DO, SEE THIS POST.

Hawke should have killed him, is what Anders used to tell himself frequently before finally settling in his guilt--- mind rife in his knowledge that, despite it all, he would do it again in a heartbeat. There were no other options, despite his regrets, the blond’s actions a year later inciting a rebellion the likes of which hasn’t been seen in centuries.

Vengeance is sated, frequently quiet-- leaving the mage with nothing but his own thoughts for the first time in nearly eight years. Yet, in the scant moments where the spirit’s thoughts invade his own they’ve begun to slowly resemble those of the friend he once he had. He is full to the brim with anxieties, abandoned by those he called friends in the wake of his actions in Kirkwall and unwanted by the very mages he sought to free. Once again a lone apostate, or more accurately: a wanted abomination, Anders travels familiar lands following the path of the war his actions served as the catalyst for. Supposed sightings place him all over the world, the blond on the very rarest occasion finding some humor in the fact that he can apparently now be in several locations at once. If only it was so simple all those years ago when he was just a boy trying to get back home to his mother.

These days he finds himself like he did back in Kirkwall before everything came to a head, offering his healing services to refugee camps before moving on lest someone figures out who he really is. It stings, however, when even more non-mages refuse his aid-- perception of mages further tainted by the war. In between camps he lives a rather bare bones existence, sequestering himself away in the forests that dot his path to a place unknown before the Templar army or, worse, the Inquisition can find him-- all the while ignoring the cruelest of siren calls, one he recognizes well from his time with Hawke within an old Grey Warden prison so many years ago.

      WHAT LOVE HAS SACRIFICED

IM GONNA REVAMP THIS EVENTUALLY SO LIKE A LOT OF THIS DOESN’T APPLY ANYMORE, SORRY Hawke should have killed him, is what Anders tells himself frequently. Instead, however, they sheltered him-- from Kirkwall, from the Templars, from the world when the results of Vengeance's, of HIS actions boiled over and sparked a war. In fact, Anders could go so far to say that they sacrificed everything they had earned over that decade in Kirkwall for him. He's not sure how they tolerate him these days, awash in guilt as Vengeance whispers in his mind that Hawke is holding them back from joining the Mages’ in their fight against their centuries long oppressors. That Hawke covertly wants to sedate him, control him, lock him away, suffocate him--- The angry insistence of a spirit that is no longer his friend. Anders has worked for years to stifle the spirit's control over him and for once he finally feels as though he's winning, only at the cost of the world and everything else he held dear. His struggle is something Hawke knows, but he is, however, sure they think him insane, which is fair, and still something of a threat regardless of their feelings for him or his claim of control. Anders thinks himself completely mad these days too, especially when Vengeance falls momentarily silent and the blond is left with his own thoughts. Thus, it was no surprise when the day Hawke informed him that they’re leaving came. But what came after, however, was. Not that they’re leaving him, but that instead they’re leaving their makeshift home, together, following the call of an old friend who has seemed to find themselves involved in the Inquisition.

DRAGON AGE: ORIGINS, AWAKENING

VIGIL’S KEEP

twenty nine year old man loves a tiny kitten to death, the verse u//c, obviously

KINLOCH HOLD

actual baby twenty-something has to pretend that everything is okay after losing his bf for almost another decade all while silently plotting his next and greatest escape before getting chucked into solitary for a year. u//c, obviously

GREY WARDEN // UNPOSSESSED

A purely self indulgent verse to explore the what ifs if Anders had never ran away from the Grey Wardens. By default this verse assumes that by not merging with Justice, Kristoff's body eventually was unable to function and Anders instead helped him return to the Fade, despite how he would have otherwise been willing to go through with other plans if not for Rolan's presence when the moment finally came. I'm willing to adjust this verse's default assumption of what happens to Justice as needed to other character's verses where they instead become the spirit's host.

This verse extends through the same period of time as Dragon Age 2 onwards and certain events in it might put him in Kirkwall or Inquisition locations at various points in time. In this situation, Anders ultimately avoided possession by his friend, a spirit of Justice--- the blond finding himself unwilling to go through with such a thing while both mage and spirit were under then constant watch of a former Templar that was allowed into the Order shortly after the Warden Commander had moved on. Hesitant and suspicious of the fact that both of them were constantly given the same assignments with said former Templar by the Orlesian Wardens who outranked him ( and made him give up his cat ), Anders eventually sensed something was up. Mind rife with paranoia, he eventually deduced that Rolan was just waiting for him to make some small tiny mistake to justify outright killing him and, by extension, such a thing would also allow the Senior Wardens to wash their hands of the former apostate. 

Without melding himself with Justice, many of Anders' budding issues that the spirit would have otherwise taken issue to and attempt to correct only continued to grow through the years; the mage becoming something close to a functional alcoholic with a promiscuous streak that waxes and wanes in accordance to his moods and, ultimately, mental state. He is still an extremely skilled healer despite this, and, as the years past, has become expected to train both new mage and new non-mage wardens under him in the nuances of quick, messy field chirurgy and intermediate herbalism--- a role that he enjoys far more than he imagined he would.

INQUSITOR // HERALD OF ANDTRASTE

The Maker, if He does exist, certainly has a sense of humor. Or at least, this is what the mage grimly told himself when faced with the reality of the pulsing, agonizing wound upon his palm and the distrusting, angry faces that surrounded him once he woke. He had just wanted to see it, hope in his heart for the moment where the Divine sided with the mages--- wishful thinking for a man who had gone through all that he had. Yet, as with all things in his life: his wants never quite go to plan.

your typical ‘what-if’ verse, u//c

MODERN DAY

A licensed physician with a complicated past, and the mental illnesses to go along with it. Anders thinks he works best under the stress of the emergency department, though a part of him longs to settle into life as the owner of his own private clinic. A mundane man, with only _slightly_ eccentric interests ( an educated man, vaguely interested in the occult? ), who somehow managed to gather ( and keep! ) a gaggle of friends from all walks of life despite how ' depressing ‘ he can become at times.

mass effect? fallout? elder scrolls?

[fyrapartnersearch]

original, percy jackson, pokemon, avatar, skyrim, fallout ;

I’m AJ! I lost a couple partners in the holiday craze, which is totally fine! Now I’m lookin’ for some RPs to head into the new year. If we had something lined up and things fell off the wagon, no sweat, just message me again and we can get the ball rolling again! :)

  For original settings: apocalyptic (zombie, disease, extinction event, whatever), supernatural (fantasy, urban, sci-fi, literally anything). For fandom universes: Percy Jackson, Pokemon, Avatar: The Last Airbender/Legend of Korra, Skyrim, and Fallout.

  Gonna run through my basic info and then onto the particulars. 💕

  ⥽ About Me ; ⥼

  • Name/Age ; AJ! 22! Finally!

  • Timezone ; CST! I don’t mind time differences, this is just so you know my general schedule.

  • Length ;  Depends on whether it’s novella or multi-paragraph. If m.para, around 3-5 minimum I guess? Novella would obviously be much longer.

  • Reply rate ; Varies depending on whether we’re doing multi-paragraph or novella. I can respond anywhere from every day to every other day or a few times a week to weekly depending on the writing style of the RP and my schedule.

  • OOC ;  I like getting to know my partners and sharing enthusiasm over our ideas and characters. Nothing hits quite like mutual investment! I like making playlists/pinboards/sending you videos or songs or memes that remind me of our characters!

  • Contact ; Strictly email for OOC and roleplay unless we’re using GDocs for the RP itself. You can find me at jackrabbitsonata@gmail.com.

  ⥽ On the lookout for ; ⥼

  • Doubling ; Not a deal-breaker!! I just prefer writing a cast of characters, so this is something that’s more of a bonus. Ideally we’ll double, but I’m down for writing just one character each. Let me know how ya feel about it!

  • Will only write MxM or FxF ; MxF’s not my cup of tea (I’m extremely picky with it, fellow gays u know how it is). If we’re writing a cast of characters then I’m fine with having an MxF side couple. And I STRICTLY write OCxOC! Canon characters won't be found anywhere near this stuff, folks!

  • 20+ ; Partner’s gotta be 20+ even if we don’t write anything explicitly adult! I’m outta my teens now and don’t have any interest in writing with them. Same goes for characters. It’s a 20+ zone for both partners and characters ‘round here, folks!

  ⥽ Yes! ; ⥼

  • Smut ;  I enjoy writing it, but it’s not a deal-breaker if you’d rather fade to black.  All characters will obviously be adults. I expect versatile characters in bed by default, that way we’ve got an even route for playing roles in bed. Admittedly this shifts a bit depending on the character I write but for the most part, yeah, I stick to verses.

  • Face claims ; Spent a huge chunk of my roleplaying years on tumblr (it was very over-the-top and flowery and weirdly formatted and grossly difficult to read, I know I know), so having a face for characters stuck with me. If you don’t have any of your own and want good resources to find a face, I’ve got some recommended sites I can throw at ya! Not a deal-breaker, though, and for certain fandoms (Pokemon, Avatar) I actually prefer not to use realistic face claims so we can just opt outta that when writing in these universes.

  • Depth & growth ; Not a fan of one-dimensional characters or characters who act the same from beginning to end! People change with experiences and the people around them, so this is to be expected. ESPECIALLY when doubling with a cast. I loooove complicated characters growing together.

  • Plotting & Worldbuilding ;  *For original settings/worlds! I’m not picky with this if we’re working with a canon setting, so if that’s what you’re looking for, we can skip this section. I run into loooads of folks who say they do this when they really don’t. We’re writing an entire world together, so there’s some degree of effort involved! I need specifics to use as a start-off point for the roleplay and a general outline for where the story’s going. RPs that are just random, spur of the moment with writing as we go on tend to burn out REALLY quickly for me. I know not a lot of people are into this, so I’m sorry about that.

  ⥽ No! ; ⥼

  • Single paragraphs ; I’m not too picky with a lot of length a lot of the time, I just don’t mesh well with people who don’t write more than that. Go ham. I like my responses meaty!

  • Limits ; Abuse, nonconsensual/sexual assault, pedophilia, incest (includes step-relations, adopted relations, and that figurative like if one character essentially raised another or they were raised as family), weird age gaps, BDSM, any kind of master/slave or dom/sub dynamics.

  As for the goods, I’ve laid ‘em all out for you here! Keep in mind that while all of these are fun on their own, I’m definitely the type of writer who’s into mixing and matching. Sci-fi apocalypse? Fantasy apocalypse? Fantasy supernatural stuff? Sci-fi fantasy? Sci-fi supernatural stuff? Supernatural apocalypse? Period settings? Literally whatever you could think of, I’ll give it a whirl. The particulars down below are just to get the ball rolling and catch some interest, some asterisks for current cravings but I’m soooooo honest when I say that I’d love to write anything down below and won’t shoot you down if you come at me with stuff. Hit me up with whatever you’d like!

    APOCALYPSE: My bread and butter! Bro. I’m all about the tense, harrowing, and especially gut-punching when it comes to how close people become to survive together in quiet moments of a world they used to know. I’m a big fan of zombies, so that’s my loose preference. I loved Black Summer on Netflix – the earlier episodes, at least, as well as The Last of Us. That’s the kind of vibe I favor with zombies/zombie-like creatures. But, ofc, an apocalypse can be anything! I love writing different takes on the genre since there’s so much to cover. Extinction event, pandemic, impact event, monsters/beasts, man-made, whatever. The more creative the apocalyptic setting, the better, so I’d love to bounce some ideas back and forth. Not too into a nuclear apocalypse setting, since that overlaps a lot with Fallout down below. I’ve also had some ideas of a futuristic/sci-fi apocalypse that I’d love to tell you all about if you’re interested!

  FANTASY***: High fantasy, low fantasy, medieval fantasy, urban fantasy, whatever. Love dragons, love magic, love weird fantasy flora, definitely love the classic prince/princess x knight or commoner schtick. You want prophecies? I’m game. You want elves? I’m game. You want steampunk? I’m game. You want none of that and wanna do something else? I’m game, baby. The possibilities are endless. I’ve had two particular ideas floatin’ around in my noggin lately: an apocalyptic-fantasy that takes place in a medieval fantasy realm wherein an ancient curse/plague erupts across the land with horrifying zombie-esque symptoms (obv with more fantasy elements than just that) that involves a quest to try and awaken a god or two OR some magic journey to the heart of it all and out and end to it, and a modern fantasy involving a run-down summer camp secluded deep in the woods. Two new counselors (our characters) start working there over the summer and things slowly unravel from there, either with faerie stuff involving replacing campers/staff (definitely aiming for the freaky horror faeries as opposed to like, beautiful or only slightly unnerving faeries) or the camp being run by a secret cult that sacrifices campers/staff.

  SUPERNATURAL/PARANORMAL***: Vampires and werewolves and demons, oh my! Can’t go wrong with horror, especially can’t go wrong with comedy-horror. I’m more of the type to prefer humans and supernatural beings together in a ragtag duo type of way as opposed to two supernatural beings, but anything’s cool in my book. Medieval/fantasy setting for a dark fairytale vibe, urban/modern supernatural beings slinking in the shadows outside of the human eye, supernatural sci-fi stuff, mysteries and danger lurking around every corner? Seriously, it’s a great genre! Any and everything is fantastic. I’ve got a loose concept of demons/the Underworld I’d like to get into revolving around a human accidentally summoning a demon or making a really poor deal with a demon and the eventual threat of the opposite effect (humans who work with angels/angels who clean up demonic stuff) since I’m struggling with the worldbuilding of it, so applying all that to a roleplay to give it a whirl sounds like a great way to work out the kinks. Plus, c’mon. Paranormal romance. End of the world. Flipping the script on angels and demons with the demons being “good” and the angels being “bad” but really there’s more nuance to that since they’re two sides of the same coin. What’s not to love there? I’m a sucker for human/demon relationships and/or human/angel relationships, what can I say!

  PERCY JACKSON*****: I haven’t ever roleplaying this verse before, so this is completely new grounds for me. I’ve seen some fun takes on it, though! Scoured older ads but haven’t reached out to anyone because the posting time’s pretty old, but a couple ideas I’ve skimmed through sound fun. HP got a period take on it, so why not put that spin on PJ with a period setting rather than in modern times? Or just a regular modern setting. Y’know, keep it classy, keep it sexy, keep it fun! I’m definitely interested in life outside of camp since they’d all be adults. Life’s supposed to suck for demigods, so let’s get into that. I’ve only read the first series but I’m game to read more or look over the Wikipedia if it suits your fancy! I’m REALLY looking for a PJ RP, seriously, message me.

  POKEMON: Man, I just… miss Pokemon, dude, what else can I say? :( I miss fun adventures and goofy scenarios and taking a more serious or realistic route with threats. I’ve got a couple of ideas from heists to evil Elite Four members to Poke-Jurassic Park, but I’d love to hear anything you’ve got in mind!

  AVATAR*****: Alright, not gonna beat around the bush, I had a killer post-Korra RP setting like a year ago that died off early on and now I’m kinda itching to put it back into action! Basically this whole thing just revolves around our own Avatar and world/conflicts. Something before Aang could be fun too? Or a couple Avatars past Korra? There’s so many routes we could take this! And so many things we could bring in! I had an Avatar marathon with my brother this weekend and I just miss this universe. I’ve never actually managed to RP it before, so I wanna remedy that!

  FALLOUT***: Played 3, watched various playthroughs of New Vegas, 4, and working on 1+2! I’m a recent fan and I’ve fallen head over heels for it! I’ve got ten prepped OCs for this universe so feel free to take your pic once we get into contact! :D I think it could be fun if we make our own setting for this, but I’m so down for piggybacking off canon settings. I love the Mojave in particular, but everything’s cool in my book. I’ve also got a couple plot ideas, so I can tell you all about ‘em when we get into things!

  SKYRIM***: Well I’m a new Fallout fan so it should come to NO surprise that I’m new to Skyrim too. I recently got into it after someone recommended it to me and I’m having a blast playing the game on the Switch! I don’t have any particular ideas but I’d love to dip into the water here and see what comes of it. I’ve got a couple character ideas already so if I manage to rope anyone into this universe I’ll be one happy camper.

[juleswolverton-hyde]

It’s November, but I still want you part 3

Genre: Drama, romance, smut (eventually), werewolf AU, art school AU

Pairing: Artist!Jimin / Werewolf!Jimin x Reader

Warning: Mention of mating and knotting, toxic relationships

Summary: A first love is always bittersweet, but this time it is perchance the hardest pill to swallow. Especially when the aftermath can still be felt years after.

In the month of November.

Author’s Note: I sincerely apologize for the long period of waiting for this fanfic to finally update or announce it is discontinued. However, as you can see, the latter does, fortunately, not apply. Henceforth, I would like to say this fic is still up and running with this chapter likely being the second-to-last one. It is time to wrap up some old projects.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 (yet to be written)

Masterlist

Two autumns without sketching the falling dying leaves together, three winters without sharing warm beverages in the usual spot in the same coffee shop every day, three springs eyes beheld the fall of cherry blossom without him and three summers passed with so much as a word.

Ever since the young artist left, nobody closely connected to him has seen the lad. Classes went by unattended, fingers nervously and softly ticking a pencil against the table surface in the exact spot that would have formed the workspace of the one who walked away for the safety of the heart it hurt. However, what was not given a thought at the time, was that the flight inflicted more harm than when everything had been as of old and the night we first laid down as lovers remained cloaked in silence.

Stayed our forbidden fruit.

Even during graduation, the raven-haired creator was not there to celebrate the end of endless study hours stained with paint, charcoal and cramped digits. Not even the six guys with whom a group of brothers was formed had the knowledge concerning the whereabouts of the wolf boy. Nevertheless, something had tainted sincerity for the older ones’ attitude stirred up a deep-rooted sense of suspicion within, but it could also have meant nothing at all. Regardless of the truth, they tried to remain in contact and lighten the mood as much as possible, elevating the gloom left behind by the dear friend turned lover turned... away.

Limits were pushed too much, the warnings and pleads should have been heeded but the mind was too naive to notice the danger lurking beneath the mask of a familiar face, skin flushed with the anticipation to have fingertips grab it tightly and possessively by the small hands that had held even smaller ones throughout many sleepless nights. The animalistic behaviour that needed to be repressed was foolishly underestimated, leading us to ruin.

Jimin has never had to carry the blame for the situation because the mistake is entirely that of the individual who thought to be able to handle what clearly could not be. The mirror shows the reminder of devastating stubbornness daily, still adorning the neck in the form of two pieces of jewellery. The gift that has become the last physical memory of a beautiful moment in life. One thin bronze chain with a crescent moon pendant made of the same metal hanging from it and one chain that is a tad longer and made of a mixture between silver and gold with a handcrafted wolf pendant crafted from tiger's eye matrix.

Only once have they been forgotten, when it was the youngest among the broken band of comrades - Jungkook - who held a soul devoid of love and craving it so badly it gripped the first source of simulacrum tightly to have a taste of it again. The morning brought the shame of having used the sweet guy’s hidden sentiments portrayed by gentle kisses and careful movements between the thighs wrapped around a slim waist after coming undone twice before even starting in earnest. The whined and panted ‘I love you’s were already a vague memory when the sun rose over haphazard sheets partially concealing a thoroughly dishevelled dark bedhead and back engraved with scratches that likely caused more pain than pleasure. Nevertheless, perchance it is because of the guilt of having played a sick game with genuine emotions that the decision to stay by the youth’s side was made.

Eventually, the self-loathing blame turned to a non-sustainable yet believable form of affection reserved for lovers. Almost akin to what was only temporarily had with Jimin.

Until he, too, walked away for the same reasons.

Funny.

History repeats itself.

But not today after finding a pamphlet for an art exhibition near the marketing office where a fortunate job as a graphic designer was picked up soon after graduation, the grand opening of which is tonight. Normally, similar events would have been evaded since too many bodies occupy a space which cannot possibly handle them all at once and the gallery visited at a later date when the hype has died down enough to allow for calmly enjoying the art. However, the default course of action does not form an option in this case due to the artist presenting his piece of art.

Because it is the work of an old friend who gave two beautiful necklaces as a gift a long time ago.

A refugee lover who bound a reckless girl to him with the jewellery.

An onyx wolf to whom an apology is in order and the guilt more than justified.

Park Jimin.

The low heels of ballerinas click on the marble linoleum floor of the bare brick space after finding a sign outside pointing towards the entrance of the grand creative event, eyes wavering to the sides to observe the sketches of faceless women while also frantically searching for the grand master himself. Shreds of murmured conversation compose a rumbling radiating flood when entering the edifice, making the discovery of the wanted man that much more difficult since a familiar voice could not possibly be recognized in this chaotic mess of speakers.

The quest is halted when the gaze wanders to the side entirely, the attention of the panicked thoughts about coming in vain and being rejected from the beginning of the conversation suddenly focusing on a grand featureless portrait. To any other person, it might signify the blank canvas an individual essentially forms, smithing yet another temporary identity to go by until it loses its beauty like its predecessors and repeating the process each time. Withal, the shape of the face is undeniable and cannot be unseen as its familiarity is unavoidable.

Self-hatred, unintended hurt, past mistakes and various trips of guilt are depicted in the simple though meaningful drawing.

It is mine.

My face.

‘It’s the biggest piece of the collection. I wanted to give this person an expression yet couldn’t because I didn’t know what it should look like. Hence, I settled for this.’ The casual tone betrays not knowing who the listener is or the artist is beating around the bush because he, too, cannot handle the strangeness of the circumstances caused by a mayhaps unwelcome visitor in the way it perhaps should be.

‘Your lines are still off.’ A slim index finger points to the traced shape of the jaw, indicating inherently nothing although the turn to bad humour somehow seems a logical direction to take in the situation. Just as it has always been since it functions as a shield against overwhelming emotions. An old habit rooted in days gone by which dies hard, as those kinds of things tend to do. ‘I thought you’d gotten better at drawing by now, Park Jimin.’

‘Y/N.’ The manner of speech indicates having recognized the admirer far before the conversation even started, relieved delight mixed with agonized graveness.

The scars still hurt.

The fumbling digits reaching out brush against those of the individual who remains focused on the image in front. Eventually, they entwine with those that had to be let go after fully committing to the steadfast faith of being a wolf, but after more hesitation upon noticing the awkward gesture than had ever been the case in the past. ‘Can you look at me?’

‘I’m sorry, Chim. For everything. I push- pushed you too far.’ The burning tears slowly begin to create small brooks over the cheeks, the unoccupied hand wiping them away as the other tries to free itself in order to make an escape. A plan that already comes too late. ‘I shou- shouldn’t even be here. I have to go.’

But the fingers of the once intimately loved beloved remain strongly wrapped around the others, their counterparts coming to rest where frantic digits endeavoured to stop the water, thumb gently continuing the attempts with affectionate sweeps. Gazes meet by means of forceful albeit kind-hearted compelling, the palm on the face of an unworthy mistress turning the head to do so and fulfil the earlier disregarded request. ‘That’s not how you apologize to someone, Y/N. You’re raised knowing better.’

Jimin has changed, not only on the inside - if there has been no help in the form of therapy to drive the insane beast out - but on the outside as well. Onyx has made place for pale sandstone which resembles limestone if the light falls on it in a specific angle, paint-stained shirts and jeans are replaced by a stylish nightly black outfit of which the shirt lights up in the purplish lilac shades of twilight whenever it is illuminated directly. Of course, this style has merely been chosen to conform to the formality of the event, though there is a suspicion former characteristic clothes and their sentiments have been abandoned aside from the casual ones that were often worn during a happening like this back in college.

The past has clearly been endeavoured to be erased.

Good.

I was not the only one trying.

Nonetheless, the most obvious physical change makes eyes widen in astonishment due to the uncharacteristic feature.

Purple flowing over in sickly yellow on cheekbones, a scar marring the left side of a sympathetic expression as full lips speak so kindly in spite of the immense wrongdoing three years ago, the bottom split in the middle by a healing scarlet wound.

Hurt.

Actual clear signs of pain.

Afraid of the impact that may or may not still be felt, two small hands - the left one slipping easily from the grip weakened by oddly loving renewed feelings - languidly rise to remove those framing a face the artist idiotically seems to adore still and trace the trail of inflicted harm with a slightly opened mouth. ‘What happened?’

A spark lights up the warm dark brown gaze of the lad who was thought never to even kill a fly, moved by the concern and showing this by the tiniest hasty smile. ‘It’s alright, Y/N. Just...’ Lashes flutter shut as the gesture is leaned into, briefly forgetting whatever coverup is created to not ignite any type of worry akin to the sort that has been tainting living in general since the first and last bittersweet night together. ‘Just business... nothing... serious.’

A warm teardrop slides down the wrist enveloped by the fingers which were good-naturedly removed, the narrow surface of skin snuggled against regardless of the barely audible pained whines the motions evoke. Teeth lightly grazing over the surface, just tangible enough to send shivers down the spine in a paradoxical mixture of pleasure and worry about the wolfish behaviour that essentially drove us apart. Furthermore, what circumstances could have asked for bodily harm, form the root for obvious pain? ‘Jimin, what’s going on? Talk to me.’

You never fought, bodily nor verbally. Did you get beat up? What happened to you? On the other hand, we both changed and know nothing anymore. Notwithstanding, just tell me. Tell me what caused this, what took place and of which the visible aftermath is so damn painful to witness without knowing the background.

The soft kiss on the pulse evokes a hitched breath, astonished by the blatant display of wishing for intimacy once more even though it brought nothing but misfortune in the past. ‘I still want you. I wish... I wish you could stay.’ The last word is a mere whisper, only audible to the ears of the listener and the speaker in the ocean of murmurs. ‘Stay with me, be mine again.’

More tears roll down the smooth skin of the forearm before watery solemn dark irises quickly turn from the former point of focus to two staring in wonder when the wrist manages to slip from the novel fairly firm hold, having made use of the temporary weak spot caused by sadness. Fast as lightning hands pull the artist into a tight embrace at seeing a quivering pillowy bottom lip, determined to keep the sobs dimmed as much as possible and to not lose face to any potential buyers or investors.

‘Don’t cry, Chim. You’re not at fault, never have been. You were right to walk away and I’m not even mad at you for doing it. If anyone’s to blame, it’s me.’ Kindly, bleak sandy locks are affectionately stroked while nuzzling the old lover’s warm neck, growing drowsy, no, getting hypnotized by the heat radiating from the body still built like a dancer’s and the musky alluring scent containing hints of turpentine and summer flowers. ‘As I said, I pushed you too much and should’ve listened. But I didn’t. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.’

The hug tightens, star-crossed lovers holding on to one another as if the only way to stay afloat in the turbulent sea of life is by clinging to the buoy in the shape of the other beloved.

And just for a split second, all seems well. Exactly like the old days, filled with hope for a future together.

However, the girl who ruined everything might as well drown in spite of the lifeline because the blonde lad lets go too soon, arms untangling and keeping the adored soul at bay by creating a new distance with shaking hands, just enough not to touch directly. The voice has gained a ghastly tone, speaking as if this time the farewell is permanent. ‘Let’s agree to disagree.’

A foot sweeps uncertainly over the alabaster marbled linoleum, acting as if removing a stain on it as locked gazes are briefly broken up while a hand combs through the strands that were lovingly caressed a split second ago. Withal, like is the case with the entire body, they shortly find each other again afterwards. ‘I really wish we could have a second chance, Y/N.’

‘If- If you want, we can still-’

A solitary head shake cuts off the desperate argument that was about to be given, nullifying every spark of hope which had collected and started a grand bright foolish fire within. ‘We can’t. You’re better off without me. Vice versa it’s not the case, but even though I still long for you, I know that a part of loving you comes with sacrifice and the desire for you to be happy.’

‘I was with you! In fact, I was the most cheery whenever we went out to the park to draw the flowers in the flowerbed or to the coffee shop. The most restful nights were those when you were lying beside me. Now, all that remains of those beautiful moments are these.’ Fingers clearly display the thin bronze chain with a crescent moon pendant and one that is a tad longer and made of a mixture between silver and gold with a tiger's eye matrix wolf pendant. ‘A daily reminder of what we had. Of you.’

A melancholic grin carves itself onto full plush roseate lips, an almost invisible nod acknowledging the meaning behind the jewellery which clearly does not add any convincing nor credible reason to change a stubborn mind set on its own opinion. ‘You still have them. I’m glad because I thought you’d have thrown them away. Or, if not you... never mind, I don’t want to think about that.’

‘Think about what? Jimin, you’re not making any sense. The last time you spoke in riddles, there was clearly something going on.’ The old Self awakens, having pushed aside the pathetic contemporary ego out of the overwhelming determination to not let things remain unresolved upon being compelled to part ways like before. To leave behind loose ends. ‘At least honestly tell me if everything is alright this time. Or just the reason for why you look like you fought a war and lost. Anything. Don’t send me away without a proper goodbye, fill up the distance with making this fucking lingering concern about you I’ve been living with for the past three years a heavier burden than it already is. Yes, I understand you don’t want me by your side anymore. But, I beg of you, grant me this last favour.’

‘I never said that, that I don’t want you by my side anymore so don’t put words in my mouth. Besides, if I did I wouldn’t wish for you to be mine again, would I? I can’t tell you what happened when I was gone, merely that it has to do with what caused our goodbye in the first place. As for the wounds, it’s nothing to be worried about. I’m fine.’ Hands mould into trembling fists, the emitted heat turning to menacing rage.

The made point is justified because the used wording which is reacted to never had any valid worth, to begin with. Rashness can push one’s own opinion despite the nullifications which are or are not already present, making the individual solely focused on their hellbent desire to drive their own beliefs through.

The realization of this calms the raging storm within, knowing that more yelling and arguing will lead nowhere. Instead, a deep steadying breath is taken and a new attempt at making amends undertaken. ‘Chim...’

A careful step forward is rewarded with a petrifying glance, feet immediately stuck in the place of the last retraced track. Stare wavers for a moment to the spot which was nuzzled against and kissed longingly, imagining what could have happened had the gesture advanced. Memories of the first and last night as more than friends resurface.

Even the worst event is no longer regarded in a negative light, a hidden absurd persona craving for it to happen again.

Get knotted, feel him again.

He is not a senseless beast, but a caring young man. Why do I long for that side of him, thinking in such terms? Furthermore, how did I get so carried away by just hugging? That’s never happened.

Nevertheless, the contemplating train of thoughts inherently boils down to the same wanton wish.

To be his.

‘Go.’

Simply have him back.

Resume our tale.

‘Please-’

We can work this out. We can get you help. Therapy. You’re not an animal, Jimin. You don’t have to hold back because of it. Come back. Come back to me.

‘Go!’ The command is growled like a wolf grown sick with the obligation to wait for a dumb opposing party to leave and giving a warning shot that any further provocation has consequences. The sternness rapidly fades, softening into sweet stained nostalgia when realizing what the hurtful impact of the chosen attitude is. ‘Go, Y/N. Just go. It’s better for us. For you. I have nothing to offer, nothing to be better than the man you belong to.’

‘I belong to nobody. I’m my own person.’ It is weird to hear the statement of essentially being some individual’s property being said with so much certainty when the speaker initially was the one to say a person should never be subject to another. ‘That’s what we artists are, independent and stubbornly liberated.’

A weak bubbly chuckle, no extravagant motions that express amusement as per habit. Instead, composure portrays not wanting this outcome to the circumstances either and come closer to make resume making amends as intended by the graphic designer who was once a free-spirited artist like him, continue where the mutual story abruptly ended. Yet, behaviour obviously gives away that the alternate route is not possible if it ever has been. ‘Goodbye.’

End of the line.

Don’t. Don’t do this, you bastard!

But the tongue is rendered silent, paralyzed with grieving shock and the ability to speak abandons the mute girl with the leaving footsteps of a sandstone wolf clad in black like the starry night sky.

The same heaven above a lonely head wandering the street again after leaving the gallery, fighting to tune out the repeating material of the emotional conversation while low heels click against the concrete. Regardless, the words are resonating as if freshly spoken and fingers have the remnants of touches by other ones clearly engraved in muscle memory.

But they have to take a moment to remember the hand grabbing them now for, although more recent than Jimin’s, it seems a longer period of time has passed since it was held by this particular one. Even longer so for the voice accompanying it, containing a strange sort of confidence that would have been quite uncharacteristic up until last January. ‘He left you again, didn’t he?’

Raven locks partially shroud feverish yet trusted doe eyes above a cute nose, a paradoxical bunny-like smile playing on pale pink lips seemingly belonging to a predator. But the person in front after accidentally bumping into them after being pulled flush against a well-trained chest is known to be better than that, never having had the aura of cunning dominance. Henceforth, looking down is the kind gentle boy with the scratched back who disappeared because of the reasons another had already given three years prior.

But Time has the ability to evoke a transformation in every aspect of and being in existence and it forms the cause for this grown-up version of a shy comic artist whose creative persona is a pink muscly rabbit. Although all former anticipating illusions are forever erased by the reflection, it is still a grand comfort to see a familiar face which holds the credible promise of staying. Thus, there is a glad surrender to the intoxicating heat scented with a delicious potion of peppermint, blue ink, markers, lily and jasmine.

To the hands framing the face perfectly and body pressing against one drunk on the temporary happiness offered by the situation.

To Jungkook.

[xmimiteh]

How to RP with Mimi

As I am putting myself as a roleplayer more and more out there and I even started to make some connections (yay, me!), I wanted to reblog a text I wrote a while ago about what to expect from me in roleplaying and what to do and not do. I altered it a little, so it is basically not the same text, but ... more or less. My “Dos and Don’ts” do not change that much anymore. I am probably to old for that by now.

Whenever you see me with the RP tag before my name, I am free to approach in RP. Maybe I am questing, maybe I am running, but I am always in for RP as long as this is marked before my name.

Also:  If you want to look into Mimi’s Wiki, you are going to find it >here<. But it is still a work in progress.  More detailed information is under the cut, because it is a rather lengthy text.

European Timezone: During the week usually from 8 pm to 11 pm (CEST) - on the weekend and holidays more flexible and erratic. Of course, if you are from another timezone, feel free to approach me if my time schedule fits in any way. This is just a heads up, when I am usually active - not a “I only want to play with Europeans”. I play with everyone.

I might reblog or repost the following text from time to time, because this is really important to me when going into RP.

It is important to find people who click with you and who accept your do’s and don’ts. But first you have to voice those. As I have been burned the past years, because people did not respect my limits, from now on I want to be really transparent in this. So in the end nobody can say: “I did not know that.” Now you know!

I have been avoiding RP for more or less over a year (with little exceptions), because people violated those things and with “violated” I mean even though I told them all this they acted as if they did not know it or as if it was not important. As I am a very harmony-driven person and I do not want to cause stress I tend to compromise - even though I do not want to compromise. But I this is about change, because it is not healthy.

So … you do not have to read all of these. I marked the important passages with “bold” and the rest there is mostly for explanation if you are interested in it. Maybe it is helpful for some who want to RP with me. It is an easy way to know what to expect and what not to expect. It saves a lot of trouble for both sides.

Dos and Don’ts

Just jump into RP with me if you want to RP with me! Please do not send me an OOC tell beforehand asking whether I want to RP or not. If there is the RP tag in my name, I am ready to RP. I get nervous when you send me an OOC tell about that. Just approach me in character and everything is fine. Please no “Do you want to RP?”. If there is a tag, I want to. If you ask me beforehand, I might and probably will say “no”. If you give me the opportunity I might shy away. Just jumping into RP with me even works when there is no RP tag. Do not worry whether I want to RP or not, just do it.

I am a casual roleplayer. This means for me I enjoy roleplaying a lot. I usually do not roleplay on a daily basis. It might happen from time to time, but do not expect me to. There may be longer times when I do not feel like roleplaying or rather go into a dungeon or make my hunts or just do silly stuff or screenshots etc. This has nothing to do with you. This is me. My daily roleplaying times are over more or less. Also I like to play PvE and PvP a lot. As my time is limited (I have got a full time job, I am married and I also play other games) I have to balance all of this. Please keep this in mind. RP is not my main priority and this is nothing personal. Do not make it into something personal. It is not. Plain and simple.

OOC communication is important, but I do like to keep it as little as possible. If there is an OOC problem, then … sure, send me a tell. Good RP needs good OOC communication, but not constantly. I do not like to talk about our RP (if there is no need to), I want to RP. Usually talking and planning what our character might do takes a lot of fun out of the RP for me. Just play it. Do not talk about it. I love the uncertainty and vagueness of not knowing where the RP is heading and people tend telling too many things they plan on doing.Please do not take surprises away from me. But /tell me if there is any ooc problem we need to discuss.

I am a non-native roleplayer. Please always keep in mind: English is not my native language. This might lead to misunderstandings or me taking a bit longer to answer. Also I am very self-conscious about my English and usually this leads to me being not happy with my writing style as I am a professional writer in my mother language. Thus I am very aware of these things and might be little bit touchy about it. I know my flaws and that I might construct absurd sentences or use the same words too often. I try to do it otherwise, but… it happens.

There is one thing I really do not like: RP appointments or RP by schedule. Sometimes there is no way around it and if I need to coordinate with a group or so, then it is totally okay. Do not get me wrong: I make appointments and I attend to them. But I had many a RP burn-out, because of RP appointments. They exhaust me way quicker than they used to thanks to absurd expectations of my guild members when I was guild leader of an RP guild and also because of emotional abusive rp relationships. So I try to stay away from them in the future even more. For me the ideal situation is: 75% open RP, 15% events, 10% appointments. These are no fixed numbers - just an approximation. I prefer open world RP and I like my RP being spontaneous und surprising.

I am an introvert (OOC). This means I usually do not do small talk. It drains me. There are only a few people who do not drain me and it is no problem if you are not one of those people. It has nothing to do with you. If I play with you I like you. This also does not mean I do not like to talk and it does not mean I do not like people. Quite the contrary. There are times when I am rambling on and on, sure. But this is not the default. Please never ever ask me “how are you doing”. I really hate that question. If there is something you want to discuss, sure thing, shoot. You can be very frank and direct with me and do not need to make any small talk before that. I even appreciate it if you get straight to the point. I do not enjoy OOC small talk. IC small talk is a completely different thing on the other hand - yes, I am weird like that.

I like to play in /say per default. Please no RP per default in /party or /tell.  Because of past bad experience I try to keep as little RP in /party and /tell as possible, because it can be abused too easily. I want the possibility of people spontaneously joining our RP. Sometimes there is no way around /party and /tell. So I do not mind the occassional RP in /party or /tell or you whispering me IC in /tell if your characters whispers to mine. But if your RP needs to be per default in /party or /tell then there is a big chance you are looking for something completely different than me and please look somewhere else for it. Save us both the time.

Because of said bad experiences I am very cautious if people get too clingy. I am no one’s possession and no one has exclusive rights to RP with me - even if our characters are in a relationship! This is so important and I cannot stress this enough! If I ever feel like I get isolated OOC or someone gets too clingy or possessive, we have a problem and I plan on solving this by radically dropping said RP. This is nothing I ever want to go through again. Been there, endured that. Never again! This is a real trigger to me and freaks me out completely. So, no exclusive RP!

I am no plot player. I am a character focused player with a main interest in IC conflict and spontaneous RP and I like deep immersion. I enjoy slice of life and well paced character drama without any planned plot. There have been plenty of people who said: “No, but my plots are different! You have to try!” No. Sadly, 99% they were not different. Not at all.If character play leads to a plot, it is okay. But do not expect me to play accordingly to any script or follow any plot. I am still going to play my character no matter the plot. Best RP for me develops in a dynamic between two or more characters. My ideal plot arises out of the character interactions - completely unplanned and spontaneous. This is not how most people in rp communities seem to define plot, so I distance myself from that term very much. For me plot is a stage for character interactions. Not vice versa.

My characters are not always likeable and they are far from perfect. They are going to do stupid things. They are going to be a douchebag. And they are more often wrong than not. I like the conflict and the interactions arising out of this and the dynamic this creates. Please do not make this into something personal OOC. I like to play a flawed character and I love IC conflict and this is why most of my characters are quarrelsome or prejudiced. I am not my character so if they insult or provoke your character this is character play - not me being mean to you as a player.

I prefer roleplaying in the game. I used to play a lot of forum RP, but my main focus has always been in game. RP outside of the game can be a nice addition, but it should not be the focus to me. Especially as I do not like playing in multiple timelines. I prefer roleplaying in “real-time” - meaning: a day in RL is a day in the game. I do not see this too strictly and usually try to leave exact time measurements out of roleplaying and keep it as vague as possible. Better leave concrete times out of RP. Also I love RP letters, but since Mimi is illiterate and the game does not encourage sending letters to non-friends this might tend to become difficult. But if you want, send me an IC letter on tumblr and tag me. This might also be interesting when engaging with other characters of mine. Or whisper me in game, so we can put each other on the friend list and you can send me IC letters.

Do not force me to praise your RP. I am no cheerleader. I have been in several RP relationships in which I had to say after each RP session every single time how great it was. And no, it was not always great. And you know what? That is okay! Nobody plays perfect everyday. Yes, sometimes I might be bored, but that is okay, too. Praising someone’s RP everytime devalues that praise. I want to preserve the value of a compliment by not overusing it. Not every RP has to be awesome and extraordinary everyday and that is fine! People who feel like RP always has to be extraordinary, probably do not click with me, because that is not how I work. I cannot keep up to that standard, because I suck sometimes. It puts such a big pressure into roleplaying and this takes the fun out of it for me.

I like to describe my preferred RP with tv shows. As I love those and regularly watch them this is also something I like to go for and I think it is a good orientation for other people what to expect and what not. So here are the series I like to go for with my RP: Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Firefly, Dawson’s Creek, Babylon 5, Fringe. I also adore the character drama of Game of Thrones and though some nudity is okay this is a series I like to mention because of the character drama and the intense interaction, not because of the smut! This is why GoT will not get a bold name so people will not get the wrong idea. Though R rating is okay I am not here for the smut. Usually I like to fade to black unless it is important for character development. Yet most of the time it is going to be PG-13. As I am German and feel more comfortable with our rating system, if you know what FSK16 means you probably got it right.

I am not going to discuss any of my RP preferences. I do not force people in playing with me and if you like any of the things I just said I do not like - more power to you. I do not want to stop you from playing these things. But please without me. I have been a roleplayer now for about more than 25 years and I am very conscious about what I like and what I do not like and with what I got problems. All the times I deviated from my preferences and agreed to a compromise have been a disaster for me. I am rather tolerant and I do not interfere with other people’s RP as long as they do not force anything onto me I do not like. In this I try to be honest, polite, but firm and outspoken. I will never RP police you on the things above as long as you do not force them onto me. Live and let live. If you like those things above, but want to play with me nevertheless and do not impose them on me, be my guest and approach me. But please do not try to convince me of the things I do not like. It never worked. Really. Never. I tried. Honestly. More than once. So no discussion. Sorry.

Advice cut in short: Give me freedom and I am a truly loyal and dependable player. Lock me in a cage and I will fly away as soon as I get the chance to - even if I have to blast open the cage door.

Disclaimer: This has nothing to do with anyone in the FF14 community. Actually these are things I have encountered before entering FF14 and because of these bad experiences I try to be super cautious and have been staying out of RP for a long, long time. By making these caveats public I am trying to protect myself and just trying to be honest and fair about it all. There is nothing worse for fun in RP than wrong expectations of your RP partner.

I hope this does not sound too intimidating. I also do not want to sound too complicated, but I just want to be very transparent on how I like to play. So if you ever see me and the RP in front of my name, just open the RP fire and I am going to respond. If I ever do not respond, feel free to send me a tell, because then I might have overlooked it or maybe was afk.

[anyu-blue]

Joran Lavellan as a Companion

I was Tagged by @littleblue-eyedbird Thank you again!!

I don’t have anyone to tag with an inquisitor, but if you see this and wanna do it, please do!!

Inquisitor’s Name: Joran Lavellan Race / Class / Specialization: Dalish Elf, Rogue, Assasin Gender Identity: Male

Varric’s Nickname for them: Spook (Joran has a tenancy to get lost in thought during down time/while reading and gets spooked by people easily because of this. It’s hilarious.)

Short bio: Joran Lavellan is a soft hearted, yet level headed elf who uses his skills to the advantage of as many people as possible. Being raised by his entire clan with his parents being dead, he learned early on what benefited all most certainly would benefit individuals. While he doesn’t particularly enjoy his job (both chosen and thrust upon him), he has the kind of determination to keep doing the best he can at all times if only for the sake of others.

What would their companion card look like?

Default Card: (Page of Swords) Possibly the most simple of the bunch, Joran’s card would feature his profile half obscured by dark trees, green leaves falling in such a way they frame his hand and a silver dagger held out in the open.

(see below for alternatives)

Recruitment mission:  

“Find the Assassin/Remove the Mask”

Leliana: “Reports are trickling in about a lone, masked figure picking off some of our enemies on the Free marches- man and demon alike. It is unknown what the figure’s goal is and it would be prudent to find out. They may be an asset if it is not just coincidence. Caution is advised, though we still need to understand their motives.”

Cullen, Leliana, or Josephine may be chosen to complete the task of sending someone to meet this figure with varying times; Cullen being the longest as it will cause a minor stand-off, Leliana’s agents taking a moderate amount of time as they play cat and mouse with him, and Josephine’s agents will be easily recognized and confronted quickly.

The Inquisitor will be able to complete the preliminary preparations operation at the war table early on and then the main quest will be accessible shortly afterwards. Depending on who is sent will determine what kind of mood the assassin is in for a cut scene near Planasene Forest- irritated, wary, or warm.

Depending on continued dialog choices all emotions are possible, but eventually the figure- a skilled hunter turned assassin- removes his hood and mask and reveals he was once a part of Clan Lavellan(or a separate clan if inquisitor is Lavellan) and broke away once the Chantry fell. He could no longer sit idly by hearing of the chaos and pain it was causing. He will ask to join the inquisitor’s cause to finally see some form of peace restored and offer a show of skill should the inquisitor ask for it.

The inquisitor can choose to decline his request and will receive Intel of his still roaming the marches attacking demons and bandits alike (albeit with a more extravagant mask) later on in the game, or accept and gain a new agent for the Inquisition.

Where they would be in Skyhold / Haven:

In Haven (if applicable) Joran will be just outside of the tavern window.

In Skyhold, Joran will often be found off to the side of the stables (about where the assassin trainer is for rogues).

Personal quests:

Quest 1: The Heaviest Heart- Before deciding on whether an infirmary or a war camp is founded on Skyhold’s grounds, Joran will approach the Inquisitor with a personal matter. With low approval he will only be curious as the inquisitor’s thoughts on war versus its casualties and can gain approval/disapproval based on the level of empathy displayed in the Inquisitor’s dialogue choices. With neutral/high approval an extra bit of dialog is available in which Joran confesses wishing he could have been a healer instead of a killer, mention the significance of his Vallaslin, and remark on how heavy the many deaths he is and will be responsible for weighs on him. The inquisitor will have the option to console him and tell him they believe his sense of justice is well founded (slightly approves), To tell him to just keep on doing what he does best (no approval change) or to tell him to buck up, this is a war and no place for something like that (slightly disapproves). He will slightly approve if an infirmary is built and there will be no change if it is not.

Quest 2:  Laying in Waiting- after Joran joins the inquisition and after clan Lavellan is saved/wiped out in the war table operation this optional operation will become available. If not done before the next major mission, it will disappear and quest 3 will be unavailable. Joran will ask for resources to track down some responsible parties and bring them to justice. This can be approved or denied with slight changes in approval but regardless will begin a small series of events that have the Inquisitor and a team (that must include Joran) at a base of operations. There are several wounded and captive peoples with keys needing to be found and the outcome will depend on the level of empathy displayed to those innocent and those responsible. He will make several comments going through the base about detesting torture and wanting justice for all the atrocities already committed and still happening like this. If empathy levels are not high enough, too much innocent blood is spilled/ignored or too many guilty are not captured/killed, Joran will greatly disprove and many further dialog options and quest 3 will become unavailable. With high enough empathy however he will approve and a ‘judgement’ will become available at Skyhold for a major general. He will outright disapprove of torturing the man for information, but be alright with the other options including making him useful at Skyhold or executing him for his crimes; Joran himself will do the honors.

Quest 3: In Life and Fire Breath- After killing 2 dragons with Joran in the party after Laying in Wait, a cut scene will open up. Joran will once again (or first time if approval was too low initially) open up about his wish to bring life instead of death and will also ask to talk privately about his confliction in killing dragons more in depth with the inquisitor. Denial will end the scene and the quest, acceptance will bring the Inquisitor and Joran to another cut scene at the stables where Joran will gently pick up a beetle walking on the wood.

-If an high approval/romance is held, Joran will start talking immediately, musing on the worth of a beetle or mount compared to a dragon, and then compare himself to the ‘fire breathing killers’ everyone is always on about.   —————Romance can be locked by the inquisitor telling Joran that they love his compassion and care, even for creatures everyone else would call monsters. He will confess he always thought himself too much of a hypocritical pushover, but is so grateful to have been found by another extremely caring individual (’with the cutest ears’ if inquisitor is dalish).

-If high-approval and the inquisitor mocks Joran’s musings, he will Greatly disprove and end the scene in major discomfort, telling the inquisitor they should probably watch their back from now on. -If low-approval is held, Joran will wait for the Inquisitor to make the first comment before talking and will once again gain or lose disapproval based on empathy displayed. If none is forthcoming whatsoever, Joran will permanently disprove of the Inquisitor and their opinions. If empathy is displayed, approval can rise and Joran will dismiss himself in the end to sort through his head and opinions.

How to get their approval/disapproval:

Approval is gained when lending a hand, or blade, to those in need of help. Even if the cause turns out to be not the greatest, Joran will still be grateful the inquisitor is trying to do the honest/right thing. Anytime a life is spared outright or suffering is ended quickly, Joran will approve.

Disapproval on the other hand is quickly gained by being overly rude, sadistic, dishonest, or blatantly uncaring for the plight or pain of others. Directly being the cause of pain and torture will make it extremely difficult to gain a high approval rating.

Joran will approve of promoting kindness in Cole and disapproves of any encouragement of mean acts. He also greatly disapproves of sacrificing The Iron Bull’s chargers and will approve of saving them, even though in the end a sacrifice was still made. He does not enjoy or approve of using/deceiving any person against their will in a way that does not also benefit themselves.

Breakdown of Approval Ratings for Major Missions:

Fate of the Mages Conscript: Disapproves Ally: Approves

Fate of the Templars Disband: No Change Ally: Slightly Approves

Inquisitor’s Lead: A Dwarf/Elf/Qunari Stands for us all: Approves Example as a Mage: Approves For Faith: No change For Order: Approves For What’s Right: Greatly Approves To Stop Corypheus: Approves For Personal Power: Greatly Disapproves For Vengeance: No change

Fate of the Wardens Exile: Disapproves Ally:  Slightly Approves

Ruler of Orlais Gaspard: Disapproves Briala: Slightly Approves Celene: No Change Reunite: Slightly Approves Spare Everyone: Slightly Disapproves Arrest Florianne: Greatly Approves Save Celene: Approves Kill Celene: No change

Abelas Alliance Ally: Approves Reject: Disapproves

Drink from the Well: Non-Lavellan Inquisitor Drinks: Slightly Approves Lavellan Inquisitor Drinks: Slightly Approves Morrigan Drinks: Slightly Disapproves

Are they romanceable?

Open to all races and genders. The inquisitor will have special romance specific dialogue options and scenes- including the option to spend time with Joran and the animals in the stables. He will gladly give his significant other a kiss any time they ask for it.

Can you have sex with them?

Romance only. Joran is not a flirt prefers only those within of his range of trust knowing him intimately. A special cut scene can be activated once romance is locked by bringing him a pot (puchased in Val Royeaux) soil (gathered in the hinterlands) and a seed (found in the Hissing Wastes).

Are they open to polyamoury?

Certainly, so long as it is mutual all around. Secrets are dangerous things.

If they can be romanced and are not, will they begin a relationship / relationships with other character(s)? If so, who?

Joran has the potential to have a relationship with Cassandra, The Iron Bull, or Dorian if brought on missions often enough with one of them.

He will remark on Cassandra’s own love of reading alongside his own and so long as Varric is in the party once for him to pester, a romance can start with her based on his series.

For The Iron Bull, Joran must be present during dragon fights to learn of the Bull’s interest and fascination with hunting them- Dorian cannot be in the party as well or they will potentially develop their own romance.

Dorian must be in the party directly before and as soon after his personal companion quest as possible and unromanced for Joran to well and truly notice his need of friendly presences that could potentially blossom into something more.

Who are they friendly with?

Everyone. He detests growing or picking any fights.

Who do they dislike?

A low approval inquisitor.

Companion card changes: (use a text descrip. if you have no images)

Loyalty: (Hierophant) With support on his loyalty mission, The trees will move into the backdrop, framing him in a halo of green and gold from the sunset. Kneeling, one one of his hands is holding the silver dagger to his breast over his heart in a salute, and one hand raised with a silver chalice above his head.

Loyalty Alternative: (Tower) Either neglecting Joran’s loyalty quest or should it fail along the line, his card will take a much more sinister turn. The trees will still be in the backdrop, but they will be bare, the brown and dead leaves at his feet. His back to the viewer face sneering to the side, a dagger will be in each hand, one dripping blood and the other green poison. Joran will permanently dislike those who neglected to help his mission and romance will be impossible.

Romance: Dagger(s) and thick forest abandoned, Joran’s head will be framed in a halo of moonlight reflected in a pool of water in front of which he sits comfortably. Two red leaves will be held aloft in a romantic pseudo heart shape, stark against a twinkling night sky.

Side Missions:

Target Acquired. Repeatable mission in which Joran can be dispatched/used to take out an unruly target and receive a random item in return- Neutral or positive approval only.

Opinions on mages / templars / how the world is going to shit?

Joran has a really hard time with the war and conflicts. He can see reason(s) in both/all sides, though absolutely detests the poor treatment of people; It enrages him and he uses that rage to kill those whom he deems deserving of nothing else. When it comes to Circles, he wishes that less force and less rules were necessary/used to keep both the mages and the world safe. He has a small personal fear of mages themselves and the unrestrained power some seem to have. Those with too much that go unchecked can wreak havoc and some do not care whom they may hurt along the way. The same can be said for templars, however, and he has heard too many a story of people being abused simply for having any power- which can also lead to them becoming overwhelmed and hurting people themselves.

All in all, it gives him a headache. He is only one man and can only do so much to stop the injustices in the world. That does not stop him from trying with all his might though.

Something guaranteed to make them leave the party:

No matter how disagreeable the Inquisitor may become, even if they should rampage and ravage people and lands, Joran will not leave. The inquisition is the best place from within which he can help even a small few and he will not abandon his sense of duty. He is also afraid of being entirely alone again, having left his clan.

Special Events:

Imprisoned at Redcliffe: How is your companion holding up in Redcliffe, being slowly infected with red lyrium over the course of a year?

Should he be imprisoned- Joran’s a fighter and in some ways that makes it harder on him. Being trapped and corrupted slowly, the voices would be loud and unrelenting. Sometimes his want of justice and peace for the world would be louder and help him get through a day, but other times his own guilt will eat and eat and eat at him. He’d be quite haggard by the time he was released, hanging on to his sanity by a thread.

At the Winter Palace: Does your Inquisitor enjoy the party, any special events with them at the Palace?

Should he be in the party, Joran will be leaning against a pillar half hiding from the proceedings, but watching closely. If approached, he will remark that while the palace is lovely, some of the guests are deplorable. He will express his distaste for those whom have their riches only thanks to the toil and pain of others. He will also mention he’s happy to save face for the sake of the inquisition, but oh how he wishes a few of those attending could meet his dagger for the sake of those they step on.

If romanced, the inquisitor will have the option to pull Joran into a dance at the end of the night and bring a smile to his face/lighter thoughts to his head.

In the Fade: Companion’s reaction upon entering the Fade? Archdemon’s taunt, and Companion’s response? Epitaph on their grave?

Joran would take great comfort in that everyone seems to be alright and still has the use of their weapons. He will try to keep a level head about all of it, but would actually be freaking out a little bit.

His epitaph would say 'Unwanton Murderer’

The nightmare would prey on Joran’s fear of being wrong and of hurting people without cause. It would tell him he is dripping with the blood of innocents and that no matter how hard he tries to be a good person, he will never wash away what he has done. (At this point, the inquisitor will have the option to offer Joran a pat to the shoulder and receive one in return if approval is high enough). Joran would not be able to respond to any of the accusations and will relax with the comfort the inquisitor offers, if any. Otherwise he will shove it all down as he usually does and quietly get on with it.

Trespasser: What is your Inquisitor up to two years after Corypheus’ defeat? Any special events with them over the events of Trespasser?

Joran would continue with the inquisition and work closely with Leliana (or other spymaster), becoming one of her people. He will gladly be a message carrier in keeping in contact with the Divine and anyone scattered, and of course he will help in all available ways in tracking down Solas for the inquisitor.

If romanced, there will be a special cut scene of him returning and running to embrace the inquisitor and fussing over them/asking how they are. (If he romanced another companion, there will be something of a photobomb of him doing this to them in the background of a different cut scene)

Other Major Events: Any other major events that happen with them over the course of the main game?

In most Joran just kinda does his own thing, but can occasionally be found in the library, chatting with other companions before/during side quests, and is always present (when applicable) for the “sit in judgement” scenes.

[moreinterestingonline]

Old Blogs

5/11/20If I was pressed, truly reamed and grilled, for the location of where the last five days went, I would not be able to produce a satisfactory answer. It seems like they just flew by with neither rhyme nor reason.What I’ve been thinking about during these past five days wouldn’t fit in a blog post, but I can highlight one central topic: world building. I’ve been trying to write three novels this year. I often get asked if it’s difficult to keep the worlds separate from one another. I usually answer with a “It’s really not that difficult” or segue into a cute anecdote about my dog, since most people aren’t interested in an actual answer. To those prepared to listen, I hand them a “yes and no.”No, it’s not as hard as it seems because I use one to escape the others. The worlds must be different, unique, and distinctive because any bleeding through wouldn’t offer me the complete new reality I crave when I am struck with writer’s block. I try to think of it as preparing for a triathlon. Sure, you use similar muscle groups to run, bike, and swim, but you don’t show up to the pool in track cleats because the detail would be identified as alien immediately.Yes, it is hard because the same overarching themes will appear as they will in an work of mortals. What kind of story would it be if there isn’t a struggle of good and evil? Would it be listed with the best sellers if there wasn’t an endearing mentor who gets killed at the beginning of the adventure? Oh? Too far? Even so, the themes that have defined my life will more than likely pop up in more than one of my books. I will have to work then even harder on my characters and their environments.These considerations are important to my approach to world building. I must carefully paint with three different pallets the physical attributes of each of my worlds. I must be cautious of what the careful reader might notice. I do not reuse sets or scripts. Still, as I compose three separate works, the ideas I believe in will show up in these different colors. I am only one writer with one perception of reality. I am extremely limited in my quest to entertain masses. All I can do is work and revise and work again, and hope that there are other people willing to step into my shoes.Personally, not a lot has been going on. Today was the first day in I don’t know how long that I did all the hygiene an average person would do in one day. I’ve started bullet journaling again and texted my goals to my best friend so I have accountability. My project right now is to make looking and feeling good my job for one month. My personal hygiene has become so neglected as I have sunk deeper and deeper into my depression. The other day, I just woke up with the motivation to turn that part of my life around.I know it’s only been one day, but it’s been so long since I actually achieved something in this area and I’ve been so sad that I thought I should celebrate this step.I’m so tired, but I wanted to get one more thing checked off my list tonight before I go to sleep.Sometimes I wonder if it’s time to learn another language. I feel like most people my age have at least two languages under their belt where I have just the one. I want to be considered bright and I feel like this is the next step.Here is the point again where I consider sleep less important than the things I could be doing instead of sleeping. Where is this little voice coming from? What is so dark inside us that wants us to fail? How can you ride a ship you’re preparing to sink? Is it fear that wants to personify it? Make it a separate entity so I can’t be to blame for my own bad habits? Who knows.I’m beginning to enjoy television, which is sort of new for me. I wonder if it means my attention span has finally reached null. Sure, there have been very well done productions I’ve been a fanatic for in the past, but I’ve never been able to turn on a random show and just enjoy. I’ve almost finished watching all the Storage Wars available on Netflix. I never thought I’d be the kind of person that turns to reality television, but here we are. Maybe this is how quarantine truly breaks me. If I don’t have focus, I don’t have anything. I’m beginning to nod off. I really want to reach a thousand words before I go to sleep. That means no editing whatsoever, just stream of consciousness. It’s been feeling more like a dry creek bed lately. I could stare at the ceiling for hours. I could sleep all day and not be bored. I know that’s concerning. I’ve already made an appointment with my doctor about switching my medications. I just want to feel like I did when I was in second grade, seventh grade, ninth grade. There is so much left for me to do here that it feels overwhelming.Nearly there. That gibberish sure helped. Take this as an example, kind reader, of what I usually cut out for your benefit and mine. It’s okay, I know no one is reading this. I just need to allow the chance for someone to hear what the people in my life can’t hear for themselves. I’m so scared of being a burden that I don’t know how to open up to people I meet in real life. It’s either I don’t want them to know my middle name to “What’s your mother like and how did that affect your psychological development?” That’s it, thanks.

5/6/20

Alas, another day has passed and! I’m still depressed. How did that happen? Did I make zero changes and expect something to happen? Maybe. But I did wish for it really really hard. (I know, in THIS economy??)

Silliness and vague misdirection aside, today sucked. I spent the morning in a weird, unawake haze because I hadn’t slept. The afternoon dragged on as I crammed for my Modern Grammar which (and now here’s the real kicker) kicked me good in the pants. Lastly, I told my roommates that I plan on moving out and they did not take it well. All this contributed to a day ill spent.

I don’t know where my weird relationship with sleep came from. Logically, I know that I need sleep. I know that sleep will do me well and allow my body to get ready for another day. One day, a little voice crept into my mind and told me that sleep was optional. I haven’t been able to shut it off since. Need extra time to study? Want to get to the next level? Only another hour before your friend in another timezone wakes up? Might as well pull an all-nighter. Objects in motion, after all.

I’m also out of my sleeping medication. And I haven’t been taking my medication. I’m struggling and I’m lacking the discipline to push myself the extra mile to potentially getting better. I think what I need are some small victories. Already, I am writing. I am journaling. I am crossing small things off my list in a desperate attempt for dopamine. Desperate, yes, but shameful? Absolutely not. It feels like I’m running a marathon underwater, but I still intend to finish. It’s just going to take me a little longer.

At one point and time, I was filming taking my medication every day and posting a little mental check on Youtube. That was good, until I missed one day, and then three days, and now it’s been almost a month. I just feel so guilty over any reveal of failure or shortcoming. How am I supposed to come back from showing that I’m not perfect?

I don’t know if this needs to be said, but if I were talking to my friend in the same situation, I would reassure them 1000% that I would love them no matter what, especially through their imperfections. It’s not that I set the bar lower for my friends than I do for myself, but I am a lot harder on me when I don’t meet my expectations. I guess that comes with being a wild romantic, right? Reality is that blinding white light that pierces through daydream. The clear solution is to have more realistic daydreams, but those aren’t nearly as fun.

Small victories, eh? What goals can I set for myself?

It’s late. I should go to bed. Today was rough and on top of everything I’m dehydrated. I hate complainers and hypocrites. I shall bless your feed with another rambling posthaste, rest allowing.

5/5/20

I’m going to pretend I didn’t see the clock strike midnight and write this from the perspective of today, May the 5th. A good, round-numbered day to start something new. I’ve always been fond of round numbers. I’ve always been fond of clean slates.

My central problem in life right now is that I’m depressed. I don’t like myself. I don’t like what I do with my time. Everything seems pointless. I lack purpose, direction, inspiration. I love the world and find myself submerged in curiosity often enough, but I don’t apply myself towards meaningful goals. My lack of application is the root of my unhappiness. If I wasn’t me, I wouldn’t want to be friends with me. And that invokes a whole other can of worms; namely insecurity, impostor syndrome, and low standards. But I digress.

I. Want. To. Be. Happy. I want to feel like I am making progress. I don’t want to feel vaguely ill anymore. I don’t think I should have to live with boredom as my default emotion. I don’t want to have to repress anything anymore.

How can I be happy? Well, isn’t that the age-old question. If there was a simple, clear-cut answer, I would bottle it and become a billionaire. Instead of a product, though, I have the following goals.

In order to be happy, I need to take care of my body. I need to be kinder to the vessel through which I experience all happiness, through which I enact all acts of generosity. What will this look like? For one, I would like to have a “glow-up”. I would like to have a before and after photo-set that I can look at and be proud of. This will mean skincare, daily showering, healthy eating, and regular exercise. I can’t expect myself to be happy in an unkempt body.

I am going to execute this goal by applying a hygiene routine, researching daily workouts, and keeping track of what goes into my body. I will also take the time to do silly, frivolous things like put on eyeliner and curl my hair simply because it makes me happy. I will have a more coordinated plan by tomorrow. For now, I research.

In order to be happy, I need to take care of my brain. Practice makes perfect and no practice makes mush. I don’t want a pile of mush directing the rest of my life. I want a clean, sharp machine dictating my every move. I want the gears to shift as smoothly as a well-oiled watch. I want to feel as efficient as I did in high school, when I was taking college courses and researching off-curriculum subjects just to ease my questioning mind.

I am going to execute this goal by finishing my semester strong, spending dedicated time each day towards active learning, and planning monthly projects. I will also find ways to implement healthy curiosity in my daily conversations. I was a “why” child. Why is the sky blue? Why is the grass green? Why do we have ten fingers and ten toes but only two ears? Why? Why? Why? I want to transition back to that motivated, inquisitive mindset. As with taking care of my body, I will have a more decisive plan for this goal tomorrow.

In order to be happy, I need to take care of my soul. One of the biggest reasons I’ve been increasingly unhappy these past months (or even years, you could argue) is because I am simply not creating more than I am consuming. A great joy that is allowed us is pure creation. I am tired of sitting passively while muses give up on me, moving onto to the next open mind. I want to build up my patience for writer’s block, to give in to the urge to write badly rather than not write at all.

I am going to execute this goal by setting word counts for myself daily depending on my schedule, setting due dates for my projects, and holding myself accountable with creative partners. I know I have stories to tell, characters to illustrate, worlds to discover. I have always felt that within myself. “I contain multitudes.” There is opportunity here, if I am only willing to open the door. I’m a firm believer that nothing worth having comes without effort, but I’ve been sitting idly anyways. What hypocrisy.

Those are my main goals. This slate is no longer clean. I have marked it with intent.

I’ve always like clean slates because it feels better to start something new rather than digging yourself out of a hole of failure. Let me acknowledge, I am buried deep under years and years of bad habits and ill-fated mindsets. I have allowed myself to sink to this depth. It is no one’s fault but my own. I am not trying to say anything different that, nor will I ever attempt to blame someone other than myself for my circumstances. This has been my doing and my doing alone. So, when I say clean slate, you know that I know that there is no such thing as a clear state. I am merely marking a line in the sand to cross over and become a different person. Hopefully.

This has gone on for too long. I sent a goal of 1000 words per day. Initially, I was wondering if that would be enough, or if it would be too little. Would I be boring whoever came across my articles of dis-wisdom? Would I be leaving them without adequate information to ever bother reading something of mine again? We don’t really know the fate of our goals when we set them. We pin our hopes to them like ribbons, we shower them with expectations, but we can’t ever really know how things will turn out. I can’t say for certain that i will ever complete these goals, but I cannot let that discourage me. After all, this has been 1000 words.

[ignis-scientia-estrogen-brigade]

What are the boys' preference in terms of a dominant or submissive lover? Would either extreme be deal breaking for any of them?

[ISEB Author’s Note: I know you sent me another Ask prior to this one, my dear sweetchocobae, but I’m going to attempt to tackle this one first before circling around to fulfill your other request. Slightly NSFW, but probably not enough to warrant a cut. Enjoy!]

Noctis: The debate the crown prince has with himself surrounding the notion of a dominant versus submissive partner hinges on his own foolish waffling; he’s already lazy enough in bed as it is without having to hold a passive lover by the hand and guide them through the necessary steps of intimacy, but he finds that having much of the legwork done for him only exacerbates his insecurities about being an ineffective leader. Still, there is something to be said about being ridden like a untamed chocobo through the dusty outskirts of Leide, although he draws a hard line in the sand should a particularly adventurous paramour even remotely attempt to lay a finger anywhere near his lower sphincter. Ultimately, a lover who plays coy and teasingly questions whether he is truly the rightful king is what puts an end to Noct’s indecisiveness, and drives him and his hips to show them who the throne of Lucis really belongs to.

Prompto: Unlike Noct, there is little dispute over where the freckled sharpshooter’s preferences lie; he’s as demure and yielding in bed as they come, and delights in playing naïve in the presence of a more authoritative partner. This has partly to do with his unwavering desire to please, and partly to do with his sheer inexperience; indeed, there isn’t much on the list of things he won’t try at least once in his quest for carnal knowledge, even if it means experimenting with a gravity well inserted into places better left to the imagination. About the only suggestion that might potentially make him balk is if a domineering lover proposes a bit of role reversal, because the poor cinnamon roll is as clumsy at steering the direction of intimate relations as he is driving the Regalia; in the end, he’d likely default back into a more submissive act, since nothing is as gratifying to Prompto as the validation he feels when a paramour acknowledges—and rewards—all his, ahem, hard work.

Gladio: It’d be rather difficult for the big man to effect a docile air even if he wanted to; generally speaking, he has several inches and a gross dozen pounds over his partners, and being “restrained” against his “will” often winds up being more comical than anything approaching the erotic. But that’s okay, because it’s his job to be a dominating force, and the prince’s sword shield takes the utmost pride in his work (though he’d never do anything without the explicit consent of a lover). Should they give him the green light to do as he pleases, however, Gladiolus displays a surprising amount of mischievous intellect for a man deemed to be little more than a walking obscenity of muscles; his immeasurable sense of self-discipline comes in quite, er, handy, especially when he withholds his paramour’s gratification for agonizing lengths. But he’s not completely adverse to breaking up the monotony of routine, and might even be persuaded into letting a them take a turn at commandeering the tide of their liaison, provided they promise never to reveal his proclivity toward paddles to royal ears.

Ignis: Determining what kind of partner the strategist prefers to entangle himself with is wholly dependent on which Ignis Scientia one is talking about, because the blind man of the present is no longer the same stuffy chamberlain he was in his youth. His attitude toward dominance, for instance, has mellowed with age; a younger Specs would’ve likely been somewhat reticent to relinquish control in the bedroom (since for the most part he is used to being the smartest person in any room), whereas an older Ignis may find himself more compliant between the sheets in light of the circumstances that would require assistance in helping him find his way around a lover’s naked form. And while the strategist might miss the joy he once took in asserting his preeminence over a cheeky paramour, his newly heightened senses allow him to experience an entirely different spectrum of sensations—particularly when his wrists are bound to the bedpost above his head and he’s left groping for bodily purchase using only his tongue.

[skeletorific]

do you remember what you wrote at all for the fantasy style guardian headcanons, or at least the one you did for uf!papyrus? im really excited to see more of the fic but i only just discovered your blog and im super curious as to what he'll be like ;;

So this may be too little too late, given skullcanons disappearance, but I was holding out to discover the original. Given how long its been I think its time to just rewrite it myself.

For those of you who don’t know, this is based off a prompt from my first blog. The prompt was imagining the skelebros as a fantasy style guardian, someone to accompany a Reader on some kind of mythical quest. From that I kind of inferred the system where teh skeletons are all guardians assigned to those going out on a quest, anything from dungeon crawling to saving the world to slaying a dragon. It may be functionally a sort of mercenary role although the assignments often have a lot to do with temperament and goals. I invoked a few archetypes to help give an impression. Also, keep in mind I’m working off of memory and may have changed one or two. I’m almost positive that I remember UF!Papyrus’ perfectly.

UT!Sans: The Trickster. His guardian style is essentially identical to his function in canon. He’ll keep an eye on you but only rarely engage directly with what’s harassing you….as far as you know. There may be untold dangers he’s protected you from out of your sight, but he’ll never mention it. He’s constantly got some kind of tool in his pockets that you’re not sure was obtained through entirely legitimate means. While he’ll likely go along with your moral compass (as long as its not out and out reprehensible), you definitely feel his displeasure when your actions cross his own boundaries. A decent companion but has tendency to wander off when you want him and naps too much. May screw with you a bit for entertainment, but he’s pretty good about not taking it too far.

UT!Papyrus: The Paladin. A knight type. His own moral code is intensely strict and as a result can only be partnered with questers who’s ideals and goals are at least in the radius of his. He will take care of you, although not in the manner he would like to. He wants to be a dashing knight riding in, helping you both narrowly escape from evil doers and championing you (and by extension himself) across the land. But his care shines through in his cooking, in his constant concern for your day-to-day wellbeing. A bit arrogant and too confident in his own abilities, as well as vastly inexperienced, but a heart of gold and enough courage and determination to face any task you have before you. He believes in you and your goals one hundred and ten percent, and anyone who doesn’t can’t help but be a little persuaded by the genuineness in your companion. But for the love of hell get him some lighter armor, his default stuff is heavy and clanky as fuck and a total pain to deal with.

UF!Sans: The Guard-dog. He doesn’t get assigned much, especially to longer-term quests. He has minimal patience, especially with the more intense questers, whether for good or evil. He also has a temper the size of Ebott, a heavy amount of laziness, a tendency to wear down his companions through constant mocking. Still, once he bonds, its for good. In the end, it’ll be you that he cares about, not what you’re doing. He’ll complain, deride, and grumble his way through every step but he’s hot on your heels into every fight, keeps you out of trouble as best he can, and in time the two of you learn to enjoy each other’s company. Even if your tasks aren’t inherently shady he’ll likely pick up a little “side business” along the way that may be less than legal. But hey, how the hell else is he supposed to get food. He’s pretty good with mechanics, building, and surprisingly most varieties of puzzles, which is why he’s a good partner for treasure-hunting style quests. Just make sure he doesn’t get drunk. He’s hard to keep track of when he’s inebriated and will usually find trouble. 

UF!Papyrus: The Sentinel. Compared to him Red is almost in demand. He has an extremely limited number of questers he’ll ever be considered for, and even fewer of those make it longer than a week or two. Between the constant complaining about how beneath  him everything is, the frequent assaults on his partner’s self-esteem for small mistakes, and his aggressive attitude that tends to get him into unnecessary fights….yeah, he doesn’t get out much. In general he actually tends to do best with questors with similar goals but opposite temperaments. An Integrity or a Patience would likely be among the best, with maybe a more mature Kindness as a possibility. And truth be told, though his respect is hard to earn, its invaluable and well worth the effort. He’ll keep you on-task (he’s a very point A to point B guy) and well-defended, and though he errs on the side of too critical his insight can be helpful if you know how to listen to it.

US!Sans: The Hero. A bundle of energy that’s always in search of a cause to champion. Even if you don’t have one, he’s going to find one along the way. Whether its poor villagers laboring under a cruel ruler, a young heir kidnapped by an evil witch, if its brave and dangerous and in the cause of good he’s already halfway there. As a result he’s among the more flighty guardians and you may have to tie him to your side in order to keep him on task. He’s a quick and skilled fighter but prefers to make peace or talk his way out of a situation if he can. He can be…a little much, especially if you’re not into histrionics, but he’s an amiable companion and fairly pleasant to be around. Don’t trust his cooking, but he will make sure you eat and take care of yourself. And despite how much he talks, he really is a good listener.

US!Papyrus: The Mage. Like Tale Sans he has a tendency to avoid interfering where he feels it would be too much work, but no Papyrus can resist a challenge. He’s a book based wizard and if a problem or puzzle is posing a particularly pesky problem (alliteration is fun), he can’t resist (or rest) until he’s found some kind of answer. He’s good at thinking on his feet and his mouth moves in pace with his mind. He’s exceptional with distance attacks but has trouble with commitment, so they often aren’t as powerful as they could be. He’s so focused on making sure he can dodge that he doesn’t put all of his effort into a strike. Like Tale Sans he does have boundaries, but he’s a little less judgmental. If you’re doing something he considers too far, he likely will just sit it out unless you’re actively hurting innocents. Clever and funny but sometimes talks too much for his own good. Decidedly lacks focus.

SF!Sans: The Dark Prince. He is going to be excessively disappointed if your quest doesn’t involve taking some province and setting up an autocracy, but he’s not as picky as Boss. Any quest is experience in the world, and an opportunity to further his own skills and connections, thus leading to potential chances to seize some kind of power. He’s just as vocal with his complaints but can hold his tongue and doesn’t drag his feet as much as Boss does. He’s energetic and aggressive and will likely pick fights with someone in every town you stop in. Its very rare that he bonds emotionally with his partner. Generally he views them as more a means to an end. But when he does he likely would be willing to go on multiple journies with the same one, and their partnership will be especially deep in terms of combat. He has the utmost respect for their abilities (although they are still obviously inferior to his own) and will help them with their own ambitions, although only rarely to the detriment of his own. Prefers more brutal weapons, such as maces or flogs. 

SF!Papyrus: The Soldier. He’s very quiet. You could be on the road with him for weeks before having a conversation beyond “those bandits are getting closer”. Despite that you never get the feeling that he’s distancing himself. He’s deeply protective of his partners and the silences are companionable, not stony. He’s just extremely difficult to read. Truth be told, Syrup gets paired with more questers than anyone except the Tale brothers, given his combination of exceptional combat abilities and generally lowkey and mostly agreeable personality. But though he’ll fight to the last for each one (comes with the job) he finds it easier not to get close with too many. You can’t save or help all of them. Still, if a friendship does start to develop (maybe even something more, if you’re lucky), the protectiveness increases, as well as his vocalness about his feeling about whatever situation you’re entering. His instincts are reliable and if he says that cave looks foreboding its generally because there is some shit down there you will not walk away from without injuries. Still, he’ll follow you to hell and back if need be. His humor is sarcastic and under the radar and unless your quick his digs at you and everyone around you may go unnoticed. If you can dish it back it increases the likelihood of him getting closer with you. Fast on his feet but reluctant to fight where he doesn’t have to. 

[tumblunni]

More minor thoughts and things for the Dragon Mom Game! Its not super developed yet, but I’m thinking more on what sort of gameplay it should have. And can i just say THANK YOU SO MUCH for the positive reponse on this idea!! I’ve never got 8 notes on one of my dumb idea posts before!! Usually at best I just get 2 likes by my close friends, lol

* I’m still having trouble settling on a design for the main character species, I’m even not sure anymore if I want it to be an insectile dragon or just a complete dragon or just a complete insect or a dragon or insect mixed with something entirely else AAAAA And even just amoung the different cool caterpillars i was inspired by, I can’t decide!! * So i definately think I’m gonna go with the idea of a magically evolving species with a big ol skill tree of player choices. Even if it makes no sense! But i mean, dragons can do anything! XD So maybe your various skills and stuff could also give you appearance traits of all different cute and cool insects! BUNNI NEVER HAS TO CHOOSE EVER AGAIN

(post is getting long so more under the cut)

* Relatedly, I’m wondering whether I should give the player a ‘respec’ option? Cos.. I mean.. it would be even more immersion breaking if you could de-evolve at will, I think. it at least could make some internal sense in-universe if we say that evolving is a natural part of this creature’s life cycle. And it would seem a bit overpowered if they could freely discard and re-evolve whenever they felt like it. You could just defeat any problem you encountered, and not even have to worry about making a skillset that functions well at everything necessary to survive. BUT on the other hand, permenant choices in a skill tree with a lot of options can be a big problem depending on how much the player gets to know about each option beforehand, yknow? It sucks when you play a game and you find out you have to start all over when you;’re six hours into it, cos you somehow screwed yourself over with one bad choice and had NO WARNING. I’ve been recently playing the (very fun!) remake of Sonny for steam, and in that game every boss is so wildly different that you often have to respec your entire build to find a way to beat them. Which works well with how its basically a giant boss rush game where grinding is optional and respeccing is available whenever you want for a small amount of ingame currency. The no-respecs achievement is possibly the most difficult one! So yeah, I’m kinda worried I’d accidentally create a game like that, even though this genre doesn’t work as well with that level of difficulty. But also infinate respecs don’t work for this genre either... So I’m thinking maybe respeccing WOULD be possible, but it would be in a very limited quantity and you’d have to go through some hidden sidequest to get it. Maybe there’s one special plant that causes these dragons to reset to their basic state? And maybe it could have a cost, like it makes them very sick so you sleep through like a week or something. Or your stats are lowered for a few days, or your overall lifespan is decreased? I’ll have to think more about balancing it well!

* I’ve been thinking more and the cache-based gameplay could really be really cool as the primary form of challenge in the early stages. Your biggest obstacle is knowing that food and materials can expire, and that your ability to carry things is limited, and that you only have a certain amount of time each day to go around and then find your way back to a safe shelter to sleep. At first you might be quite desperate, eating everything you find as soon as you find it, and only being able to venture out a little way away from your nest. But then you start building cache locations and temporary shelters around the world, allowing you to move further and even be able to slowly carry some rare distant item back all the way to your main nest. The epic three week quest to move a single log! Being dragonmom is suffering! XD But it could be really rewarding to see that early difficulty be flushed down the toilet as you develop your skills, opening up the world and presenting new challenges to replace it! * And there could even maybe be multiple ways to solve the problem! This could be the first opportunity to make the choice between being a herbivore or carnivore, carnivore would be adapting more towards the ‘eat it now, constantly be searching for new food’ play style. You’d be stuck living within that limitation forever, escaping it just through becoming way better at dealing with it. You get a food source that’s basically everywhere, and gives you more nutrition, you turn the terrifying enemy predators into nosh and get to feel the ultimate catharsis of dooooom~! And you can become powerful enough to carry more stuff, and to affect the environment more and create shortcuts, and you need to worry less about finding a perfect shelter cos you have less enemies and you’re more hardy against the weather.

* Thoughts about the basic animal language system! I’m wondering about what sort of symbols it could use? Like, maybe it could just be intuitive pics of items and lil stick figure dragons and stuff. Here’s a few examples of default rpgmaker MV icons:

(tho these were some of the only ones useful for a dragon game so I’ll have to make my own) Alternatively, they could be like actual runes or heiroglyphs or made up fantasy letters. I tried googling around for something similar from a game, and all I could find was this thing thats apparantly from Spyro Skylanders? The disadvantage of that system is that it’d be less instantly intuitive what symbol means what. But that might even work to its advantage, cos it encourages the player to get started memorizing all the symbols instead of being complacent that everything will always be obvious. I wanna ease them into the puzzles, but I still do want there to be puzzles, yknow? i just think it would be a very cool concept! Oh, and of course having it look like a real language makes it feel like a real language. Woo! But maybe it could put more emphasis on the unusual nature of the language if its more pictoral? I DUNNO!! I’m bad at choices!! I’ll just have to work hard to make some endearing lil dragon doodles of what everything looks like to them. Thats the best compromise!

* oh!! A cool and unusual idea for one of the evolution skill branches!! Maybe you could take deliberate penalty devolutions? Maybe picking one of them gives you extra skill points to spend on others, or maybe its like.. sacrificing the ability to learn a new skill in favour of some additional stat boosts instead. And maybe even certain penalty evolutions could lead off into a longer tree of penalties with an unexpected bonus at the end! i was thinking a good one of these could be the ability to lose your sight. It could lead to boosters to all your other senses, and even the ability to eventually gain some sort of complicated telepathy sense that’s even better than eyes! Gotta put up with a while of waiting though. oh, and cos you’’re like a buggy dragon thing, maybe eye evolution would be Lots! Evolved eye! evolved eye! evolved eye! evolved eye! next evolution: eye!! achievement unlocked: spider. Oh, and actually the placement and type of eyes could adjust depending on what other evolution route you’re on! Thats be a cute bit of aesthetic. or maybe you could just choose the eyes regardless of what bug you are, and make the google eyed moth of your dreams~! It could be more tricky to make a fully customizeable character model though, rather than just a bunch of regular bugs. I mean, this is gonna be a pixelart game, its not like Spore with its big ol animation engine for all kinds of crazy leg combinations.. RANDOM THOUGHT! a dragon with eyes all down the sides of its body would be mega scary. maybe that could be part of the herbivore side evolutions? Realistically, scary appearances are more common for non-scary animals that evolve them to frighten off predators. Lots of caterpillars are actually kinda body horror disturbing looking, I cant stop being scared by the one with the huge swollen head with an optical illusion to look like a snake. It even manages to scare the predators of the predators of its predators! O_O Also actually having eyes all over your body instead of just markings would probably be really useful for spotting all those enemies. Spooky baby is the biggest fraidy cat ever!

* If I go with the idea of you gathering more children as the game goes on, then it could be cool to have all sorts of different sidequests to find the different eggs. Like maybe you can’t adopt the egg of a snow dragon unless you relocate your nest to a colder area where it could grow up healthy. Tho it’d suck if the game was forever limited that way and you had to leave your kids alone in various areas around the world or else they Die. So maybe its just for while the kid is a newborn, or maybe its that you have to nurse the egg in a certain environment in order to hatch it. i’m gonna say for the sake of gameplay conveinience that these magical dragons can just go into stasis in their eggs and survive forever, only hatching when they get their daily dose of mom hugs. Cos it would kinda suck if you had to make the decision IMMEDIATELY when you find an egg, especially if the eggs required certain things in order to be hatched. It would be super tragic to find this baby struggling to live and then you have to watch the egg go cold and die just cos you didn’t progress your stats fast enough. Magic eternal eggs is the best solution! Actually, maybe that could even be a good plot for a super rare egg you could unlock! You could find an ancient dragon species that was thought long extinct, and then get to raise a cute lil fossil son. Could be funny if they’re like an ancient megafauna version of your species! ‘My son iz larj but i luv heem’ He could carry the rest of his siblings around :3 Oh and maybe one of then could actually be an older child that you adopted after you found it cold and shivering next to its dead mother. It could be after you defeat some big boss, and find out that you were too late to save this poor fellow dragomom :( So then maybe that kid would start off more distrusting and disobedient at first, but to make up for it they’re already a fairly high level with some skills already. And maybe your choice of name for them would be limited at first, and then you can rename them properly once you finally win them over. You only get to choose one symbol at first, the kid is automatically named like.. Other [name]. Otherleaf, my smol untrusting beb!

* A SUPER SAD POSSIBLE IDEA Maybe there’s a small chance of finding the ghost of your kids when they die? There could be some sort of super mysterious and spiritual part of the forest that you can explore later on in the game, and there’s a random event to find a little baby shade in the fog that seems to remember you. And you can bring them home and its just like they never died, except they look a little spooky and they can only appear when the sun goes down. So you might wanna evolve the nocturnal skill so you can be with them. oh, and maybe when you get them back their name would change? Adds or replaces part of the symbols. they become Empty-[name]. And they can never grow up :( But still, imagine this lil ghost puff all happily curled up in a big hug pile with all their siblings, after so long wandering lost and alone!

[francescaswords]

Chapter Two | The Princess and the Dragon and Other Stories About Unlikely Heroes

Prologue / Chapter One / Chapter Three

Read Chapter Four (and the rest) on my Patreon

‘Lovely fish soup, Dad,’ Amelia ventured, as she sat down to dinner with her parents later that evening. The family ate in the ancient, drafty castle kitchen. Ever since the head chef and kitchen staff moved away to find jobs in more prosperous parts of the Three Kingdoms, her father assumed the role of castle cook. Amelia could see zero olives, which meant he was having a good day. After his stroke, Amelia took on most of his responsibilities so Queen Hazel didn’t need to double her workload, but he insisted on running the kitchen. Across the table, her mother attacked a loaf of bread and tried not to raise her eyebrows. Amelia dipped her spoon into the bowl. ‘Wow. I can really smell… garlic?’ King Emmanuel was an enthusiastic chef, but the people of the Kingdom of Mirrors generally survived on what they could afford, which was bread and olives. There are a great variety of ways to serve bread and olives, but they all require imagination, which King Emmanuel ran out of around the same time his teenage daughter took over his job.

‘Garlic is the only thing that makes the fish seem fresh,’ her father said sadly. ‘I mean, er, it is fresh. Of course. It came from the harbour… yesterday.’ Amelia knew it had come from the harbour a week ago because she was the one who went out with the kingdom’s little fleet of fishing boats to see what was left in the sea after so many years of the Sapphire Dragon helping himself to its fish. She also knew how much effort it took for her father to be able to stand at the kitchen counter at all, so she tucked in.

As they ate, the family went through the day’s business. ‘As you know, Emmanuel, Queen Margaret sent messengers last week to remind us we owe another portion of loan repayment,’ Queen Hazel said, ‘but Amelia managed to persuade her to give us until the winter solstice.’ Amelia was surprised at Queen Margaret’s leniency. King Emmanuel had put off asking Stormhaven for money until after the Midsummer Riots because no one did business with Margaret de Winter unless they wanted to spend the rest of their lives feeling like a fly trapped in a spider’s web. Stormhaven was the richest of the Three Kingdoms, and its ancient matriarch ruled with a personality far colder than her name.

Queen Margaret travelled all the way south when Amelia was small; Amelia’s abiding memory of the visit was the elderly monarch’s icy stare and enormous fur coat, which she insisted on wearing even as the midday sun melted windows and one of her servants fainted from heatstroke. Amelia never saw Margaret emit a bead of sweat. Rumour had it that she slept with a dagger under her pillow, had locked one of her nephews in a dragon-guarded tower and planned to rule from beyond the grave via an Ouija board and set of tarot cards, despite a kingdom-wide ban on magic use. Amelia believed every rumour.

‘How much does Margaret want for this installment, exactly?’ King Emmanuel asked. He had his daughter’s wide brown eyes and awkward shoulders and when they smiled, they were copies of one another: all teeth and lots of dimples. Neither of them had smiled recently, and although Emmanuel was only fifty, he could have passed for Amelia’s grandfather.

‘She has demanded five hundred gold bars,’ Amelia replied. ‘Unfortunately, we have zero gold bars. Do you think she would take the equivalent weight in olives?’ she asked. She was only half joking. The Kingdom of Mirrors’ olives were famous throughout the Three Kingdoms and the nation’s most popular export. Just last year Amelia traded a quarter of the state’s olive oil stock for a thousand cattle from the Valley of Dreams.

‘The only language Margaret speaks is money,’ her mother sighed. She sipped some soup, winced, then looked at the table. ‘Of course, Amelia, Queen Margaret would be very happy to marry you to one of her sons or grandsons.’

‘No.’ Amelia said flatly.

‘Amelia…’ her father began.

‘No.’ Amelia uncovered an olive and stabbed it. ‘How many times do I have to say no? You can’t just marry me off to clear our debt!’

Her parents did not mention that they could. Nor did they mention that her older brother had been happy to marry himself off until fate threw him off course. They didn’t need to.

‘Oh, we’ve had another message from the merpeople,’ her mother added. ‘The dragon has taken two more children this summer. Parents are starting to move north to safer waters.’

‘That’s all we need,’ Amelia groaned. ‘Half the population of merpeople in the harbour won’t make life difficult for anyone. ‘

‘They’ve suffered as much as we have,’ Hazel pointed out. ‘And they can’t just move to dry land.’

‘Thanks for mentioning that, it hadn’t occurred to me!’

Her mother raised her eyebrows, which suggested Amelia had better stop arguing, so she spent the rest of the meal in silence and excused herself as soon as the plates were washed. She wandered the castle for half an hour and found herself back in the classroom at the top of the tower, staring at the newspapers. The Kingdom of Mirrors was once a prosperous, vibrant nation known for its lively street festivals, beautiful architecture and delectable sea food. Her parents weren’t to blame for its terrible fortunes. But if no one did anything about the dragon, the war and their debts soon, there would be no kingdom left to rule when her father died. Which, a tiny and horrible voice in the back of her head whispered, would probably be sooner rather than later.

Irritatingly, Amelia wouldn’t be in this position at all if not for her annoying brother.

Because she grew up with an older sibling, Amelia was never expected to shoulder a large portion of royal responsibility. Throughout her childhood she was taught the basic requirements of being a good princess—how to make small talk with someone who has bad breath, the best way to throw a dinner party for politicians with special dietary needs, the fastest way to stab an adversary with a longsword—then left to her own devices. But when Amelia was twelve, Prince Nicholas embarked on the customary coming-of-age quest that all wealthy, promising young men undertook when they reached their mid-teens or decided they did not enjoy academic study.

His quest was to ride north to the castle of Queen Margaret of Stormhaven and choose one of her many offspring to marry (or her offspring’s offspring—there were enough of them to choose from). In return, Margaret would cancel half of the kingdom’s debt. He was also to rid one of Stormhaven’s many mountains of a pesky goat-eating lion on his way, just to prove his worth. Instead, Prince Nicholas killed the lion on the slopes of Traveler’s End Mountain and, when a local goat farmer named Raphael made Nicholas dinner to say thank you, he decided to marry him. Although marriages between royalty and commoners were perfectly normal in the Kingdom of Mirrors, Nicholas wanted to live on the mountain with his husband and their goats rather than inherit a large, hot kingdom filled with olive trees and refugees, so he abdicated. Most of the kingdom protested: marrying below one’s station is one thing but rejecting public duty to become a farmer (albeit with the title Duke of Lumiere) is quite another. Gossip columnists complained that Princess Amelia was even less tamable than her brother, although critics agreed that at least she would have decades to practise being queenly.

King Emmanuel had his stroke six months later.

Amelia and her mother did a pretty good job of running things with the help of their High Council, but they spent most days wondering how much longer the kingdom could go on without defaulting on their loans. A few years ago, Amelia hadn’t even known what the phrase ‘defaulting on loans’ meant, and she hadn’t cared. Why couldn’t her brother have quested to the south coast instead of heading north? He could have killed the dragon like a good prince was supposed to do and then gone on some little journey to rid Traveler’s End Mountain of that lion. It wasn’t even a magical lion, Amelia thought bitterly. It was a standard, goat-eating lion. She was even more annoyed with herself for missing having him around the castle. He would have liked Harry the amulet salesman, and he always made royal engagements feel like an adventure instead of like a piece of complicated homework.

Amelia tidied the newspapers and organised a few textbooks, just for something to do. Her favourite history book, The Magic, Mayhem and Mystery of the Kingdom of Mirrors was dog-eared and out of date, but the author had recently moved north and was now focusing on researching the Valley of Dreams’ historical association with the wine industry. Then there was The Monarchies of the Three Kingdoms (and how two of the kingdoms managed democracy), and Sorry, Dragons Don’t Really Die, But Here’s How You Can Try. Amelia scowled at it. Down on Market Street, a trombonist started a solo. A second later, a cellist started one too. Why on earth were they still playing music? It was night time! When Amelia became queen, her first Royal Decree would be a change in live music laws. She pulled Dragons Don’t Die from the shelf, angrily sweeping past the sections on Ruby Dragons, Emerald Dragons and the Lesser Spotted White Gold Dragon. There was the section on the Sapphire Dragon:

 Sapphire Dragons are not the largest of the dragon family, nor the most dangerous. They can’t spit poison and their eyes won’t paralyse you. They do not eat people. Unfortunately, what they lack in strength they make up for in cunning: it is hard to outwit a Sapphire Dragon, and their only known weaknesses are their sensitive ears and delicate eardrums. They cannot stand high pitched sounds at great length, and if anyone were to shoot an arrow into the ear of a Sapphire Dragon, they would surely slay it, as the opening of the ear is the only part of the Sapphire Dragon’s anatomy that isn’t protected by a layer of scales. No one in human history has ever come close enough to try, though.

Their sensitive ears.

An idea hit Amelia like a beam of sunlight.

Before she could think too much, Amelia hurled herself down the tower stairs and through the castle, so quickly that the stained-glass windows started to blur together. Her parents were sitting in the smallest drawing room with cups of wine. The king worked through his physiotherapy exercises while the queen read a book about strategic negotiations.

‘I have a plan to slay the Sapphire Dragon!’ Amelia gasped as she skidded to a halt on the rug, narrowly avoiding the wine cups.

Her parents looked up. ‘Amelia,’ her mother chided, ‘can’t this wait until tomorrow? Your father can’t take too much excitement.’

‘I hardly think a conversation with my daughter is bad for my health,’ the king murmured, although he didn’t look entirely convinced. ‘Does this have anything to do with your plan to build a giant water cannon and fire it at the dragon?’

‘I made that plan ages ago,’ Amelia said dismissively. ‘We don’t have enough equipment to build a canon powerful enough. This is a new plan.’

‘All right,’ Queen Hazel shrugged. She had the same long afro hair as Amelia, but while Amelia braided or tied up hers to keep it away from her face, Hazel wore a new style or accessory every week, refusing to fire her hairdresser even as they cut down every other expense. She also remade all her dresses, so she looked like she had a new outfit for every occasion, even though it was really the same material, redesigned four or five times a year. Even curled in a frayed armchair, she looked more like a queen than Amelia ever would. ‘Let’s hear it.’

Amelia took a deep breath. ‘Well, the reason the kingdom has had to borrow so much money over the last twenty years is that we’re fighting a war we can’t win, and the entire population of the south of the kingdom moved north and the bottom dropped out of the tourism industry. That’s correct, isn’t it?’

‘Correct,’ her father agreed.

‘And the reason for the war, refugee crisis and tourism trouble is that the Sapphire Dragon razed every village on the south coast and is sitting at Scavenger’s Ruin right now, setting fire to anyone who tries to kill him. That’s right, right?’

‘Right,’ her mother sighed.

‘And it’s entirely possible that, were the dragon to disappear then the war would be over and within three to five years, and assuming we ran a sustainable tourism programme and ploughed proceeds into rebuilding towns, life as we once knew it would return.’

Both parents nodded.

‘Well then,’ Amelia said. ‘It’s time the dragon disappeared.’

‘Oh, well, I’m glad you’ve thought of that,’ Queen Hazel said with a wave of her hand. ‘We’ve spent twenty years thinking that we quite like having him around.’

‘Mother!’ Amelia was stung. ‘I’m only trying to help.’

‘We know that, Amelia…’ the king said gently. ‘But if we knew how to kill the Sapphire Dragon, we would have done so by now. Dragons can’t be killed easily. Or at all. Do you really think we haven’t tried everything we can think of?’

‘Of course not!’ Amelia said quickly. ‘It’s just, you’re going about it all wrong.’

Queen Hazel’s eyebrows did a complicated dance. ‘How, exactly, are we going about it all wrong?’

Amelia steadied herself. Please don’t let them laugh at this please don’t let them laugh—

‘Wasps at the food carts in Market Street don’t sting all the people to make them abandon their food. They just buzz around until people are so irritated that they go indoors to get away.’

‘Um, yes,’ Queen Hazel said. ‘But I don’t think we can get rid of the Sapphire Dragon with wasps.’

‘We need something more annoying than wasps,’ Amelia pressed.

‘Mosquitoes?’ her mother suggested.

‘Fish soup?’ her father asked.

Amelia rolled her eyes. ‘People. People are so annoying! They yell at you about feather pillows, they insist on selling you fake amulets and they play their trombone at the same time as someone else is trying to play the cello! What’s the most annoyingthing you’ve ever heard?’

‘Oh, that’s easy,’ her father replied. ‘It was the time you and Nicholas decided to form a jazz band. Half the castle got tinnitus.’

‘I think the most annoying thing for me was when our seamstress had quadruplets,’ the queen mused. ‘None of them would sleep at the same time, remember? For months, you could always hear a baby crying. Eventually you thought you could hear a baby crying even if it was quiet. I thought I would go insane.’

‘Some would say you did,’ the king said amicably. The queen stuck her tongue out at him.

‘So what you’re proposing is that we just annoy the Sapphire Dragon into just getting up and flying somewhere else?’ King Emmanuel asked.

‘We can if we make everything he hears ruin his delicate ears.’ She held up Dragons Don’t Die. ‘The Sapphire Dragon’s ear canal and eardrum is the only unprotected part of its anatomy.’

Her parents looked at each other. It was the same look they exchanged when Nicholas brought Raphael the goatherd home.

‘How do you propose we make enough noise to ruin his hearing?’ King Emmanuel asked.

‘We hold a festival.’

‘A festival?’ the king asked. ‘For… for whom? The dragon?’

‘For our long-suffering troops down on the south coast! This year is the twentieth anniversary of the dragon’s arrival. Our brave soldiers deserve a traditional Kingdom of Mirrors festival honouring their work and sacrifice. So I’m suggesting a three month event—’

‘Three months?’ Queen Hazel asked. Her eyebrows did another dance.

‘Three months,’ Amelia continued, ‘of sporting events for the soldiers, each one with its own marching band. Three months of accompanying orchestral performances, street theatre, opera shows, circus events. Three months of jazz music.’

She knew she was onto something, because her parents exchanged another look. It was the look they exchanged at Nicholas and Raphael’s wedding.

‘All right,’ her mother sighed. ‘Call the council to meeting.’

Amelia smiled as she swept from the room to find parchment to write notes to the High Council, calling them to a breakfast meeting the next day.

When Amelia was queen, she would commission a new mosaic for the castle’s walls, depicting how she defeated the Sapphire Dragon.

Copyright © 2019 by Francesca Burke

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