#And of course I'm worse so no one would even like me

[bvidzsoo]

Your little monster

✗ Mafia heir!Mingi ✗ 

∞ Author: bvidzsoo

∞ Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader

∞ Warning: pretty suggestive, language, guns, violence, blood, murder, toxicity ∞ Word count: 3.4k ∞ Genre: non-idol!au, mafia!au, established relationship!au, mafia reader!au, Harley Quinn x Joker inspired relationship, smut ∞ Rating: mature ∞ Summary: Oh, how sweet it feels ruling the world. Perhaps you went a little bit overboard as you now have to rescue your boyfriend from going to prison, but it's not like you haven't done worse things together. One might say love turned you two mad.

∞ A/N: Despite being completely depressed today, hey, the inspiration came to finally write this lmao. Now we only have San's part left behind and I'll finally be done with this little mafia drabble mini-series, and I'm already thinking of starting something new and longer due to the current comeback, sigh. Let me know if I forgot anything that should be considered for a warning, I haven't detailed anything too much. Feedback is much appreciated and I hope you enjoy! <3

✗ For ambience, listen to this before or while reading! ^^

∥ Hongjoong ∥ Seonghwa ∥  Yunho ∥ Yeosang ∥ San ∥ Mingi ∥ Wooyoung ∥ Jongho ∥ 

            The explosion replayed on the TV made my skin crawl most excitingly as I grinned in contentment, the cowboy hat lowered over my eyes as I sat in the metal chair, its coldness seeping through my leather attire. A sheen coat of sweat glinted around my temples and between my breasts, the air was rather humid inside the station, even with the open windows. Police officers ran around like jesters, their walkie-talkies staticky every few seconds as they were addressed or had to address someone. My eyes followed every movement closely, surveying the officers' steps and the security of this place. It wasn’t as tight as I had thought it would be given the high criminal rate in this part of the city, but that was only beneficial for me as I grinned under my hand, smacking my lips together before I sighed loudly, making sure my long, exposed, legs would get every men’s attention that passed by the lobby. It wasn’t a lobby, per se, but the chairs placed there were obviously for visitors. Not that any visitor was allowed in at this hour, but nobody seemed to be paying much attention to me, yet. If only they had known what was hiding underneath my leather bomber jacket, strapped to my vest, maybe they would have thought twice about letting me walk in here and sit around unsupervised.

My eyes strayed back onto the TV again, and I chuckled at the shitty quality of the video, but it was unmistakable who the people in it were. Besides, the names flashing in big, red, font on the screen made it rather obvious who the two criminals running away in their Pontiac were. Song Mingi and me. The Firebird, of course, wasn’t ours, but Mingi’s little friend who owned it was late with his payment, so, we made a little bargain with him. Not that the man has had much of a choice saying no to us, it was between his gorgeous white cabriolet or his life. The scum had begged rather pitifully for his life, it had been entertaining holding my gun against his temple, playing Russian Roulette with him. I knew there had been no bullets in the gun, but the man didn’t, and seeing him beg for his life filled me with arousal and excitement like nothing else. There was something about men falling to their knees and praying for their lives that had a certain effect on me, filling me with an adrenaline rush I couldn’t find anywhere else even if I actively searched for it. Not even robbing banks or forcing our way inside households was as exhilarating as making men cry was.

And the man I liked seeing cry the most was Mingi, whether it was underneath me from overstimulation, or because I waterboarded him for even so much as for looking into another female’s direction, the exhilarating power rush was always the same. It was maddening, it was addicting, and I never wanted it to stop. And that is exactly why I never stopped seeking it out. As the TV volume was increased by a passer-by general, a cup of coffee in his hand despite the ungodly hour, I finally caught someone’s attention. The man sitting at the reception, sometimes forced to operate even three phones at one time, looked up with furrowed eyebrows and pointed at me.

“You, lady!” He called loudly, making me grin to myself as I straightened up in my seat, “What business do you have here? Come here!”

The general’s eyes fell on me as I stood up, well aware that my mini-skirt barely concealed anything, yet I made myself look bashful as I adjusted the cowboy hat on top of my head, making sure nobody could see my eyes or my unmistakable flaming ginger hair. I tipped my hat in his direction before I headed for the reception, making sure to sway my hips sensually. The man at the reception frowned at me, apparently not so easily charmed, but he’d eventually be one of my prey as well, all men gave in, after all.

“You called for me?” I grinned and bit my bottom lip, making the man sigh loudly.

“Yes, what is your business here at this hour, lady?” The man sounded irritated, but I didn’t let that get to me as I pouted, my butcher knife pressed uncomfortably into my hip as I shifted my weight around on my feet.

“You see, my boyfriend is in one of your cells, and—”

“Visiting hours start at 9 o’clock, lady, you have to leave.” I tried not to grit my teeth at the interruption and hummed, forcing a sweet smile onto my lips.

“But I’m not here to visit him, Mr. Officer.” I purred, placing my arms over his desk as I leaned forward, pushing my breasts out. I knew if the light fell just right on my exposed skin, the officer could see just what was hidden under my bomber jacket, but wasn’t life boring without a little thrill? “I’m here to bail him out, of sorts.”

The man’s eyes paused on my breasts for a second and I chuckled, they were all the same, manipulating them had always been too easy. The man gulped, then looked back up at my face, his lips pursed but his pupils had slightly dilated. He was too easy.

“What’s the man’s name?”

“I can’t tell you that just yet,” I giggled, reaching forward to play with the shiny badges plastered against his left breast, “I must check if my little cowboy is fine, first. Then, you’ll know if I found him or not.”

The man glanced down at my perfectly manicured stiletto nails still playing with his badges, and he made no moves to push my hand away. How stupid, a jerk of my arm and I’d be able to slash his throat open. How foolish. But when he looked at my face again, I made sure my expression remained innocent, hiding all my thoughts just like I had been once taught by Master Song, the big bad dog, our mafia head and boss of the city, Mingi’s father. Dream big and aim high, if you know how to manipulate men, you might end up living the dream life. It had been too easy so far, Mingi is too dumb for his own good, but he’s amazing at his craft, and thus, I can’t really leave a man that knows what to do with his dick. Besides, once Master Song is gone, Mingi will be the next heir, and then I will have the whole world at my feet. Perfect.

“Your name, lady?” The office grimaced, his eyebrows furrowing now that I was evading all of his questions.

“Oh, wouldn’t you like to know, sweets.” I chuckled, then gripped his badge and yanked him forward by it, making him yelp loudly. The general looked our way, eyebrows furrowed, before he slowly started approaching us, hand on his gun, “Take a wild guess, the news has been raging about us all night long.”

Perhaps blowing up a whole factory owned by the government wasn’t the smartest of Mingi and me, Master Song would punish us adequately if we decided to go back instead of hiding out on one of his private islands until he had cooled off. The perks of dating a mafia head’s son, I suppose. The officer at the desk finally glanced over to the TV, and I took the momentum to slam his head hard enough into the desk to make him pass out. The general was by my side now, and before he could gain the upper head and point his gun at my head, I whirled around and fetched my sharp knife, grinning at him. I kneeled him hard in the gut before spinning him around, knife pressing hard into his smooth flesh. I chuckled as the general didn’t touch his gun, all eyes on us in shock. Then, guns were pointed at us and I scoffed, resting my chin on the general’s shoulder.

“Seriously?” I tsked, “I’m going to slit his throat before you could fire your guns, idiots. Now be good dogs and lower your guns before I blow this whole place up.”

And just on cue, the small microchips I had planted around the offices started beeping, connected to the little machine I had sitting against my lower back. I press one tiny little green button, and this whole place is gone in seconds. The atmosphere was tense as everyone stood frozen, prompting me to press the knife harder into the man’s throat. The general hissed and raised his arms in surrender, “Lower your guns! She’ll blow this whole place up.”

“I damn will!” I giggled and watched the man’s profile. He was old, but he was still handsome. Not my type, but he was definitely eye candy for the older ladies, “Now, you will take me to my love if you want everyone to go home once their shifts are over. And no funny business, Mr. General, or your guts will be all over the floor.”

The general sighed quietly, then pointed towards the back, “Song Mingi is down that hallway.”

“Lovely, now chop chop, I ain’t got all night!” I huffed and manhandled the man around, pushing him towards the door he had mentioned. And just to prove a point to any stupid officer who thought they could somehow have the upper hand here, I reached behind my back with my left arm, feeling around for the nth number of buttons that were lined on the small device. Finding the one I’d been searching for, I sent a flying kiss towards the officers who remained back. However, once the light turned red as I pushed the small button, an explosion inside the building went off, setting the alarms and water system off. Lights flashed in the building and chaos instantly ensued as I giggled, grinning at the general who watched me with wide eyes, “Oopsie, I thought that button was for your lovely cop cars…well, at least they’ll understand I’m not playing around here.”

“You’re crazy.” The general hissed angrily as we walked through the door, forgotten about now that people had to take care of whichever room I had blown up. I think it was the supply room, but I couldn’t be too sure, there were too many small bombs hidden around this place, fascinating, isn’t it?! I pressed a kiss against the man’s cheek to annoy him further, and he made a sound in the back of his throat, looking disgusted.

“You’re no fun, Mr General, lighten up a bit!” I rolled my eyes and forced him forward when he tried to stop walking, “If you were less handsome, I would’ve killed you the second we passed through this door. I know my way around here, this isn’t my first rodeo, sweets.”

            The general had to go once he tried to slam me against a wall and point my own weapon against me. Poor thing was now bleeding out on the floor of an inmate I decided to set free for my own satisfaction. The rows of the cells seemed to be never-ending as I changed the ammunition for my gun once again, leaving a wake of blood in my footsteps, the hallways littered with injured and dying officers since they didn’t understand playing nice would’ve kept them alive. Greedy bastards, when will they learn that the mafia controls everything? Besides, I’m way more skilled than they ever will be. Most cells were empty and my patience was running thin, wondering whether they had fucked me over and led me towards the wrong door and hallway. Maybe Mingi had been already transported from here to a highly guarded prison, from which breaking him out would’ve been way too difficult, but not impossible. Anything for my pookie, besides, Master Song would kill me for getting his son in trouble and abandoning him. So, really, until the enterprise was solely mine, I had to cater to the likes of these dumb and irritating men in power.

My heels resounded in the quietness of the hallway loudly, and I groaned when another cell turned out to be empty. My hands gripped the gun tightly as I made sure to stay alert, well aware that I didn’t have much time before the whole police force and military would rush over us. But I still had two cells to check, so I continued to have hope. My heart stuttered in my chest when suddenly two hands came through the bars lazily, hanging out casually as if he had no worries in this world. The skin was heavily tattooed on both hands, nails painted black and chapped, his thick fingers littered with expensive rings and chunky bracelets that hung around his dainty wrists. With a grin on my face, I sped up, coming to a stop in front of the cell, coming face to face with the familiar image of my lover’s face. His eyeliner was all smudged and his lips were bloody and swollen, yet the attractive smirk was still present on his lips as his dark, and sharp, eyes travelled all over my body. He wore similar attire, all black and leather, his vest low cut and showing off his chest tattoos, the hem of the vest stopping just above his hips to show off their sultriness, his happy trail dark.

“All dressed up for me, sugar?” The deep rumble of his voice had my skin covered in goosebumps and my stomach coiling in lust. God, despite knowing each other since we were kids, I still hadn’t gotten used to the vision he was.

Song Mingi.

He might’ve been a dumb and easily manipulable man, good for his riches and for his big dick, but one look at his attractive face never failed to make me forget my grand scheme for the future. One touch and I’d unravel, one kiss and I had no idea who I was anymore. He was hypnotic and consuming, toxic and violent, but God could I seemingly not walk away and try to fix my life. Not that I had any chance of righting all my wrongdoings, I’ve been too deep into this criminal life to find salvation at this point.

“Come on, baby, won’t you get me out?” Mingi bit his bottom lip as we continued staring at each other, suddenly a dark thought crossing my mind as I smirked, tipping my hat up so that our eyes met.

“Like you did the last time?” If it hadn’t been simply for my wits and smartness, I’d be still rotting away in that godawful prison. Mingi’s expression fell for a second before he chuckled amusedly, quirking an eyebrow up.

“You need no rescuing, doll, I knew you could do it by yourself.” Mingi’s deep tone rumbled through his chest as I took a step towards him. The sirens had gone off at some point, signalling an emergency. I knew we were tight on time, but to make sure we still had some more minutes, I had set off the bombs on all the parked cars in front of the station so that they’d be distracted for a bit longer.

“Really, love?” I tilted my head, stopping in front of the bars in hand reach. Mingi hummed as his hands slipped forward, settling on my hips as he squeezed hard, licking his lips as his eyes stayed on my breasts. We usually wore matching outfits just for the fun of it, but the vest I was currently wearing was bought for different activities, “You want me to believe that? I know you were fucking that blonde bitch while I was fighting off five guards.”

The hiss was sharp as my eyes narrowed at Mingi, who had mastered the perfect innocent expression sometime in the past and was looking at me with it now, “Sugar, I was busy looking over the shipment, you know that. My father had sent a team to get you, but you were already soaking in our bath, waiting for me—”

“You’re full of shit.” I snapped, reaching forward abruptly to wrap my fingers around Mingi’s warm throat. His necklaces were heavy and chunky, but they looked fucking amazing on him. I ignored him for my own sake as I pressed my thumb harsher into his throat, making Mingi swallow nervously, “This is the last time I let you off the hook, Mingi. If you fuck anyone else ever again, I’ll cut your dick off before I take your whole legacy in the family.”

Mingi grinned, licking the corner of his mouth as he leaned forward, thinking he had the upper hand, “You love my dick too much to do that.”

“I’ve met plenty of men with bigger dicks than yours.”

“Let me out.” Mingi’s tone dropped as a fire appeared in his eyes, his jaw clenched. I laughed tauntingly, biting my lower lip as I released his neck while pushing him backwards, our eyes trained on each other. After more than ten years of partnership, we still didn’t trust each other. Maybe it was because Mingi wasn’t as dumb as I liked to think he was, and he could see right through me and my intentions. Maybe it was because I liked to play with him and threaten to fuck him up too often, but neither one of us was a trustworthy person, and I knew Mingi hated it. As if the SMG tattoo sitting on my collarbones wasn’t enough to prove my devotion to him. Nobody would even touch me out of fear now that I was forever branded to him, and I made sure those who did touch him, lost all of their fingers and toes too.

The gunshot echoed loudly as I shot the lock off, who needs a key when you have a gun? I pulled the door slowly open and Mingi remained patient, that is until I stepped in his way when he tried to leave. Without warning, I was slammed against the concrete wall, air knocked from my lungs as his swollen lips pressed against mine bruisingly, one large palm fondling my exposed ass cheek. My moan was swallowed by his desperate tongue as it pushed against mine, fingers curling around my thigh and hiking one leg up so that he could press his semi-hard on into me, groaning at the friction. I sucked at his tongue hungrily, my free hand tangling in his dark locks and yanking on them just like he liked it, making Mingi whine as he rutted against me, fondling my thigh and ass as if he hadn’t touched me in forever. This wasn’t the place nor time for this, but keeping our hands off each other was impossible even after years of being together. I knew things like this turned Mingi on all the time, and I would be a liar if I said I didn’t get a kick out of it too.

“My father will kill us this time, babe.” Mingi mumbled against my lips as he bit my bottom lip, grabbing my hand that held the gun to point it at his temple, “Fuck, I want to be inside you so badly, baby.”

“Fuck me then before they get here,” I provoked him, biting all over his face before I nipped at the skin of his hot neck, “Feel me up babe, see what I have hidden just for you.”

Mingi gulped, eyes hungry as his hands gripped my sides, feeling me up all over my torso and back, cupping both my ass cheeks to hoist me up, forcing me to grip his hips with my thighs tightly. I had all of his favourite weapons strapped onto myself, knowing he’d make good use of them, “You’ll be the death of me one day, Y/N.”

“I know I will.” I smirked, then captured his lips in a frenzied kiss again as we heard shouts closing in on us, “Seems like you’ll have to wait with fucking me, besides, our new jacuzzi was installed today. It would be a shame not trying it out after the day we had.”

“I love the way you think,” Mingi grinned and took his gun from the holster from my waist and lowered me onto the ground, gripping my jaw to tilt my head up, “And I didn’t fuck that blonde, sugar, she stole the watch I had gotten from you and she’s now floating away head down in the river.”

I cackled as the shouts were clear as day now, the officers were here. Oh, how much fun we were just about to have. After sharing one more lustful kiss, our ammunition was cleared without hesitance.

⚞ Masterlist ⚟

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[prettyboykatsuki]

later, then | i. rin

✮ tags ; gn!reader, pre-relationship, tooth-rotting fluff, rin in his actor era, assisstant!reader. this is sfw but i am an 18+ blog so minors do not follow me lol.

✮ wc ; 1.4k

✮ a/n ; a comm for @rabbbitseason that i had to rewrite a couple of times. i rlly liked being able to write something like this. i hope u like the direction i ended up going in sdjksdj

✮ synopsis ; on his last day of filming rin tried to keep you out of his thoughts.

"Rin-kun,"

He knows your voice well enough to know it's you before he even opens his eyes. "Hn,"

"We'll be shooting your scenes next," You say, tapping his shoulder lightly. "They told me to wake you up."

It's not like Rin to fall asleep on a set somewhere, no matter how tired he is. He's usually the type to push through it no matter what. It's petty, but it feels like he's lost otherwise.

He was exhausted before hand though. Months of shooting and he still can't get used to his schedule.

He's here from a morning flight from France that he took all the way back home to Japan. After he arrived, he immediately hailed a cab and busted ass to get here on time. He would normally rest on his journey but found he couldn't bring himself to actually fall asleep.

Professor Heartbreak is a Japanese TV drama (airing domestically lived and internationally on Netflix) and Rin's first acting role. The series follows a romance between a graduate student caught in a lot of debt and her relationship to one of her pupils, college student and heir to mega corporation.

Rin has never had any interest in acting, and had even less interest in acting in a romance drama. His manager however urged (read: forced) him to take the offer, emphasizing how good it would be for his public image among other things. Of course, Rin still declined but no matter what he did - he couldn't actually seem to get out of doing it.

He's off-season now though he started filming during. He can say with confidence there's nothing he likes about the job. No matter how much his manager or director insists that all he needs is to have a pretty face - there's still a level of annoying obligation he feels towards doing it.

The reception was more positive then they were expecting. Apparently Rin is a half-decent actor. He's not playing a character he feels is so different from him, if not much more cringe.

Rin plays the love interest Yukio. Not very expressive and rich with a tendency to chase what he wants. Generally aggressive about the female love interest.

It doesn't suit him and he doubts he'll do it again. But a lot went into getting the role. If he's going to do it at all, he might as well do it well.

Rin hates shit that's half-assed after all, lukewarm acting doesn't suit him.

Today is the last day of shooting and happens to be one of the last scenes. Shooting is sometimes chronological, but not always. Regardless, after today it'll be the last time Rin steps foot on this set. No more long nights, or trying to memorize lines, no more out of place press runs. The practice season will start again and he can go back to the busy he's been used to since the debut of his soccer career.

That also means it'll be the last time you and Rin spend time in the same room. It's the first thing he thinks of when you wake him.

Rin sits up and carefully rubs his eye, careful not to disturb the makeup he wears for set.

"When the fuck did I sleep?"

You laugh under your breath, handing him a water bottle like you already knew he would want one. He takes it from you and takes a long drink trying to wake himself up.

"Been a little over an hour. Hour and a half, maybe. Did you sleep okay?"

He scowls, just slightly. "It was fine."

"I'm glad you slept well," You add, voice full of mirth and amusement as you read between the lines said all too easily.

He was moody when he came on set with you, worse then normal and refused to sleep. You suggested he rest his eyes and Rin scoffed at you for thinking he's so stupid. He's not a kid you can trick into going to sleepy.

You conceded easily, made a single sly comment about hoping he's all there when it's his turn. It'd be a shame if he had to keep shooting the same scene and ended up home late after all. Enough of a provocation to submit to your stupid suggestion.

Rin supposes this was why his manager hired you in the first place. You're in a temporary position, your contract to be in place until filming is over and Rin's back on normal scheduling. Rin realized pretty early on that you're more like a glorified babysitter then an assistant which is why he didn't have very pleasant expectations of you at the start.

But you're competent. Push without pushing too far. Clever even when it's annoying. You've known each other for a year and the only thing that binds you is work but you're with him all the time. Maybe it's just the job, but it still feels like you know him better then most.

Not like he cares.

Realizing he was tired enough to sleep and goading him into doing it are two separate things though. But you've managed both pretty easily which he can admit is a feat. You're always like that. You remind him a little of another annoying striker in that way.

A quiet settles between you. Rin gropes around for his phone, checking his messages and the time. Still a few hours until the set wraps and no doubt social obligations afterwards. He groans.

"I'm going home after we're done shooting,"

"You can't," You say, apologetic. "Manager says you have to show your face during the after party."

"That doesn't make any fucking sense."

"You're the main male love interest, you should at least drop in for a little bit. Have a beer, unwind."

"I don't like drinking,"

"A soda then. Don't be so stubborn."

Rin huffs, carefully pushing a hand through his hair careful not to mess up the styling. There's a beat of silence.

"Are you going?"

"To the drinking party?"

Rin looks at you as if to ask isn't it obvious. You just chuckle.

"Why?" You tease. "Will you stay longer if I go?"

Rin pauses. And it's quiet for just a second too long before he realizes. You seem to understand the implication almost instantly.

Even before Rin who catches himself just a second too late.

"...I don't mind staying with you until you've filled your quota. If that's what you're asking." You supply.

Rin frowns, faint warmth creeping his neck. "Then do that."

You fight back a smile. "Sure, sure. What time were you thinking of leaving?"

"As soon as possible," He says bluntly. You laugh that time. Brightly. Sincerely.

"Seems like a waste. You can handle fifteen minutes without me, right? Doesn't feel like I need to go if we're gonna part ways so soon anyhow."

Rin pouts. A petulant, ugly feeling in him. He speaks without thinking. "You're saying it like we're never gonna see each other again,"

You both catch it.

"Are we?" You're grinning at him where you stand next to him, eyes cast down to look at his face. He fights off a blush but fails to keep from turning red. Fuck. "Seeing each other again, I mean."

He doesn't know what it is exactly that makes him answer the way he does.. "No shit."

You grin, beam really - and your fingers brush his hand on the couch. Rin jolts, clearly in deeper than he thought.

"Okay. Then let's go together and get something to eat after," You say, coy. "Since we're seeing each other again,"

Rin rubs a hand on the nape of his neck.

"Shut up. Fine. Whatever,"

You laugh again no longer hiding it. He hands his water bottle to you as he gets called onto set. Standing to his feet, he takes a breather to stretch out all his limbs.

You give him a mischievous smile, staring at him openly when something seems to strike you. Like you've just realized something.

"Rin-kun. Bend down a little. I need to tell you something."

Confused but not concerned, he complies without thinking.

You place your copy of the script strategically to obscure both your faces, and in a single split second - Rin feels something soft and warm press against his cheek followed by another giggle like a bell chime. He flusters, instantly scowling and tomato-faced and nearly cussing as you look so self-satisfied.

(Warm. So warm where you linger on his skin. Hot where you've touched him despite how brief.)

"For good luck. I'll see you later then. Knock 'em dead, okay?"

He curses under his breath before they call him one more time and he watches you disappear to go do the other half of your job. He puts his hand to his cheek and takes a breath.

Stupid. He closes his eyes and buries the explosion of feeling in him as he replies to no one in particular.

"Idiot."

[weepingchronicles]

Hi! I saw your requests are open, so could you please do a Jinx x fem! Reader where the reader gets hurt badly after a fight (maybe after episode 6?) and almost dies? How would Jinx react? And make it angsty and fluffy please. Thank you! 🩵

a/n: aaa i didn't know if you wanted yandere or not but i did it anyways, i am very sorry if you didn't want yan!jinx. i didn't know if you meant season one or two but to be honest i couldn't remember anything anyways so this is just a made up fight! hope you dont mind <3

❝yandere!jinx x fem!reader getting injured❞

🚀 ୧ ‧₊˚ 🦈 Believe it or not, Jinx drops everything once she notices you are hurt, especially if it is critical. Of course, if she is distracted by the fighting and adrenaline of a fight, it might take her awhile to notice until you collapse or the fight is over. I imagine pre-shimmer Jinx would be more attentive and notices if you are hurt even a bit.

🚀 ୧ ‧₊˚ 🦈 But basically, she drops everything and would rush to your side nonetheless. She will kneel by your side, assessing your injuries. Oh god, that is a lot of blood. Since when did you have so many wounds?

🚀 ୧ ‧₊˚ 🦈 Thousands of thoughts swarm around her head. She is so scared of losing you, she can't lose another person she loves. She just can't. Voices of her adoptive brother's voice ring through her head and even Silco's. Saying things like how she just hurts everyone around her, this was bound to happen eventually. No wonder Vi didn't want her to come on the mission. She's a jinx.

🚀 ୧ ‧₊˚ 🦈 Thankfully, the marching and yells of incoming enforcers awakens her from her delusions. She scoops you in her arms pretty easily and rushes home to save you.

🚀 ୧ ‧₊˚ 🦈 But as she is racing away with you in tow, she looks down seeing your colored eyes begin to gloss over and droop, your skin getting colder and colder. No.

🚀 ୧ ‧₊˚ 🦈 Without much thought she rushes you to Singed. He helped Silco save her, why couldn't he now?

🚀 ୧ ‧₊˚ 🦈 Once you fully awaken you are not the same. The surgery was a success but your mind feels almost split into two. Your mind conjured the most horrible memories and distorted them into something worse. But Jinx was beside you through all of it.

🚀 ୧ ‧₊˚ 🦈 You find your head laying in Jinx's lap, her painted nails twirling some strands of your hair between her fingers. She notices you, "Oh! You're awake!" She jumps and sit you upright. She is smiling but something in her face makes you believe she is worried, worried for you. Her motions are more jittery than usual.

🚀 ୧ ‧₊˚ 🦈 She brings you a small makeup compact excitedly and open it up, showing your reflection through the small mirror. Your eyes were not the same color anymore. Instead they were a magenta color, something unnatural and not you. It almost reminds you of— "Now we match!" Jinx exclaims excitedly, as if you'd be happy.

🚀 ୧ ‧₊˚ 🦈 "What did you do to me, Jinx?" You focus your gaze back onto her, feeling anger rising in your bones.

🚀 ୧ ‧₊˚ 🦈 Jinx scrunches her face, "What did I do? I saved you!" she says, practically snarling at your accusatory tone. She stands, throwing the makeup compact harshly at you.

🚀 ୧ ‧₊˚ 🦈 "You were going to bleed out in my arms so quit looking me like I'm some.. some monster!" Her voice breaks on the last note, showing her insecurity. You knew all about Jinx's past, about Vi.. Vander. You promised to never do the same thing to her.

🚀 ୧ ‧₊˚ 🦈 You take a deep breath in. reassessing your situation. Yes, you were.. different but you were fine, right? Your wound were gone and in fact, you felt more alive than before. More hyper-aware, like you are a fresh eyed baby seeing the world new again.

🚀 ୧ ‧₊˚ 🦈 "I'm.. I'm sorry, Jinx. I just feel so confused.. and different." You hunch over, cradling your own head in your arms.

🚀 ୧ ‧₊˚ 🦈 Jinx's look pities, all tension disappearing at the sight of your struggle. She knew exactly what it felt like, how violating it felt.

🚀 ୧ ‧₊˚ 🦈 She kneels down in front of you, looking up and gently removing your hands from your face. "I know, I know what you must feel. But I promise. . I wouldn't have done it if I didn't have no other choice. Please."

🚀 ୧ ‧₊˚ 🦈 You lean down, pressing your forehead to Jinx's in an act of understanding and. . affection. "I believe you, thank you for saving me. We will get through this together, okay?" Jinx nods hurriedly, her eyes all wide and thankful.

🚀 ୧ ‧₊˚ 🦈 The rest of that day was spent with lots of cuddles and talking, maybe this new you wasn't that bad as long as you have Jinx.

a/n: why was this kind of a soft yandere for jinx? oh well. . it was really cute!! i hope you enjoyed :3

[madonnamadeofasphalt]

EA & Bioware honestly did an incredible job at killing any enthusiasm I had for a new Dragon Age. Fucking hell, man, I've played the first two games so much I could probably go through them with closed eyes and still pick all the right dialogue options to get My Exact Personally Canonized Plot. And the only reason I didn't do the same thing with DA:I is because it was made after EA completely gave up on optimizing their shit so the fucking thing takes up like a billion terabytes of disc space and takes 10 hours to download and install. I honestly think it's the best-written cRPG franchise to ever have a budget that doesn't involve a list of Kickstarter backers or getting an eccentric Estonian billionaire fixated on the project. And the gameplay is also there, I don't really care about that part.

Then they proceeded to fire all the talent that made me love those first three games, and scratch and restart the production twice, and be suspiciously cagey with any details or gameplay footage for a fucking decade, so my hype consistently went down and down. And yet I still managed to hold out some hope that somehow, by some miracle, it wouldn't fucking suck.

I kept that hope until the trailer dropped. You know the one. The one where we see a bearded Varric. This, I think, was the exact moment when I lost any desire to play fucking Veilguard.

Like, first of all, Varric being there at all is already an issue. Leave the man alone. His presence was already kinda forced in DA:I. And after DA:I and Tresspasser, his story couldn't be more finished if he got killed, eaten, shitted out, condemned to hell, redeemed by divine sacrifice, bathed for eternity in the everlasting light. There is no point to Varric anymore. Whatever arc they've given him in Veilguard, and I don't even give a shit enough to read the spoilers before writing this post, it has no business existing. Fuck you. The only reason he's there is because he's a recognizable IP, and when you're a certain kind of soulless corporate moron, you think there's nothing more important than putting a recognizable IP in whatever new bullshit you're trying to peddle. Maybe if you didn't fire every decent writer in your trash fucking company, you'd have someone to tell you about the importance of Ending The Fucking Story When The Story Fucking Ends.

But that's not even the core of the problem. Beard? they gave Varric a Beard? Varric I fucking hate everything that's even tangentially connected to dwarven culture with a passion which is why I've made a point to shave my beard all my life to spite anyone who gives a fuck about it Tethras? beard? you gave him a beard? He changed so much offscreen in the goddamn timeskip between these two games that he got a motherfucking berd? fucshhfdbeard? feadsgfsvarricafgfdh BEARD? yyousftoiuslyhhabevarricasgsfucningbeardandthivkimgosabedineditit?beard????

PS. (edit after finding out spoilers) I've gone to TV Tropes to read up on Varric's role in DATV after writing this (just in case I'm wrong and dumb, and there's actually a deeply compelling narrative reason for his presence), and, well, this shit is cheaper than I thought. And more importantly, just as I thought, there appears to be no justification for the beard beyond "adding a beard is a cliche way to show that a bunch of time has passed, and we didn't care enough to think this shit through". I'm fucking tired, man.

PPS. (edit after reading the rest of big spoilers) This is so much worse than I could even begin to suspect. This is worse than the final season of Game of Thrones. This is the final season of Game of Thrones if they straight-up fired GRRM, burned his notes and hired a showrunner who's only read a one-page summary of the first six seasons. This is fucking depressing, man. I'm genuinely fucking sad. So many subplots that were started over the course of these three games, that were clearly going somewhere, scrapped in favour of a simplistic good vs. evil story that would get rejected by fucking CD-Projekt in 2007 for being too basic. All because the artists who poured their hearts and souls into this bullshit franchise got thrown out like trash by its "owners". Morrigan's kid, the Well of Sorrows, all the implied complexities of Tevinter politics, the Crows, the Old Gods, Andraste. All went to shit. Death to capitalism.

[jellyskink]

The Tooth And The Following Headache. (A cringey crackship)

"Alright Pines, you're good to go now. You remember where the exit is yeah?"

(Geez, the more I see this guy the MORE I find myself needin' to buy another pack of cold ones for the week.)

The day was about as fun as you'd expect it to be with "him" around. I was just about to have a good day too, of course things would go wrong as soon as I was about to relax and finish up work.

Ford Pines had his monthly appointment with me today, an appointment that I was booked with because of Oleander's meddling probably.

"Yes Dr.Ibis, I remember. H-How is everything looking if I may ask?"

(Horrible, if I was presented this during dental school I'd probably have thought it was the BEFORE photo, not AFTER.)

"Eh, I've seen worse. But you're doin' better than last time."

(That was a lie and a truth both in the correct order. Geez what HAS this freak been doing? The first time I saw him I was surprised he hadn't kicked the bucket or passed out at the very least from what problems he was dealing with. It was almost like I was checking off everything in the book on what was wrong with this guy. I mean, damn if I didn't know better I'd assume this guy was eating glass for fun or something.)

"R-really? Oh my Muse will be so pleased! The care you and Dr. Oleander have been providing me has been astronomically wonderful! My muse certainly knows how to find the best people to introduce me to!"

(Ugh, here we go again. "My muse" this, "my muse" that. I wish he'd can it about that damn triangle, the problems that kindergartner art project looking thing have been causing have been one of my biggest headache bringers to date.)

"Yep, he sure does. Now can we get along to the part where we just schedule your next appointment? I'm a very busy man you know, patients to see and all that."

"Of course! I'll need to run it by my Muse before it's finalized, but I can certainly get the word to him!"

"Sure thing bud."

(Thank god, this is going quicker than I thought. I really hate having this guy ruin the mood in my office with his... everything. What did Irene even see in this guy? This wacko clearly didn't have a personality besides being a sad clingy puppy dog whose entire being was dedicated to his "Muse".)

(Irene was pretty secretive about certain things regarding that guy whenever we ended up talking over the phone or the occasional coffee. Which for a normal doctor that'd be expected, patient confidentiality and all that. But Irene crossed that line long ago as soon as she took him on as one of her patients.)

(The guy wasn't extremely interesting to my knowledge outside of his extra fingers. If anything he was boring or weird, sometimes both at the same time. The guy wasn't particularly charming, he did LOOK handsome, and OCCASIONALLY wasn't the worst to be around, but geez I hated everything else about the guy.)

"Ah Dr.Ibis before I forget, I have something for you."

(OH GOD NOT THIS AGAIN.)

Before I even had a chance to react any further, Mr.Triangle lover quickly reached into his bag and pulled out something small with reddish-brown fur and held it out to me.

(What even is that? Is that a hamster? No, it was a vole. He brought me a freaking vole. It wasn't even alive. And he was holding it out to me with that stupid smile of his.)

I don't know what came over me, but the next thing I knew I slapped the dead rodent out of his six fingered hand. As it smacked the ground, I saw my patient flinch and begin to step back from me.

"GET YOUR DAMN ROADKILL AWAY FROM ME!"

"I-I'm sorry for upsetting you Dr.Ibis, I only wanted to-"

"What? I don't want to hear about how your "Muse" gave you dead rats as gifts again! It's disgusting! I can't stand dead animals! I don't want you to act like your dramn crazy mu-"

I wasn't even able to finish the sentence before I felt myself getting pushed against the wall with enough force to knock the wind out of me. I winced from the surprise as I began to process what happened.

It was that... that... Six fingered psycho!

(What the hell!? What is he doing??)

I was always kinda worried about this guy being the reason why someone ended up hurt, I never expected him to be the literal reason for it!

"DR. IBIS."

An unexpected tone shift from what I was used to from the guy, his voice was now booming and gruff.

(OKAY I'M REALLLY NOT USED TO HIM BEING SO LOUD OR AGGRESSIVE.)

"PLEASE... WATCH WHAT YOU SAY... ABOUT MY MUSE..." His tone lowered into a raspy hiss as the words fell from his mouth.

I really wanted to respond to him, to fight back, SOMETHING. And yet I found myself frozen with fear.

The next thing I know, I felt a rough, trembling hand tilt my head up. My field of vision focusing on the unhinged man in front of me.

"BAD THINGS... HAPPEN TO THOSE W-WHO UPSET HIM..."

(I-is he? Crying? What the hell?? Why is HE the one that's upset here? He was the one who flipped out on me!)

I didn't have much time to process everything as he moved away from me. I heard a loud crunch from the side of me as he did.

(THE HELL?? Did he break something??)

I glanced to the side of me instinctively, there was a hole in the hall next to me.

(Okkkaaay. Well it definitely wasn't the first time the office drywall got punched or broken. Whether that was ever by me at times was something that was a secret I wasn't going to tell any higher ups anytime soon.)

"Hey... Mr.Pines?"

"..."

The guy slowly walked over to the wall at the opposite side of the room, a blank stare on his face, a crimson fluid leaking from one hand onto the floor as he held it to his side, while his other hand clutched his creepy locket to his heart.

Before I could continue speaking, he began whisper to himself while facing the wall.

"i'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorryi'msorry."

His head banging against the wall with eerie tempo as he spoke in a whispered voice, his tone now monotone.

"Mr.Pines??"

(What the hell? I knew this guy was probably insane but this was taking it a whole new level!)

"I'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRY."

The horrid tempo was now picking up speed.

"STANDFORD STOP IT!"

"..."

(He finally responded?)

The room was eerily silent as I tried to process what had even happened. After what felt like an eternity of sitting in awkward silence, the unhinged man I was watching turned around to face me again.

"U-um Dr.Ibis? Forgive me, I spaced out while we were about to finish our conversation earlier. W-what were we speaking about?"

A pretty nasty bruise was now starting to form on his forehead.

(THE HELL DO YOU MEAN WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT??? WTF WAS THAT???)

I did my best to collect myself. I vaguely some of the info Oleander shared with me about her patient. I think she mentioned how he had certain traumatic triggers or something?? Damnit now I wish I had paid better attention to her phone call that day as she yammered on.

"It... wasn't important. Just...if you're going to leave me dead animals, do ya mind if perhaps you wrap them up before handing me them or something?"

"I-it isn't traditional I suppose, b-but I'll check in with my muse if I could be given grace to do that sort of thing. Forgive me, I don't mean to screw up showing my thanks to you..."

(Geez and now we're back to another episode of watching the saddest man ever. Ick, Oleander I swear you owe me big time for all these bones I'm throwing your patient.)

"Listen I appreciate it, in a way... I just prefer.... live animals? And I don't like rodents very much."

"I-I see... well I can't promise my muse will be happy with any changes, but I'll keep note of that."

"Listen Stan-"

"StanFORD."

"Stanford. Why don't we just pretend today didn't happen? I'm pretty tired today, and it looks like you could use some rest too."

"I... suppose my muse might not mind that. I don't think I can rest, but I know what you mean."

"Thank you Stanford. Now... why don't I drive you over to Oleander's office for a sec? I think she needed to see you for a second."

(Pleasedon'tputupafightohgodIdon'twantyoudyinginmyofficeIdon'twanttodealwiththepaperworkoranyotheraxhahstingproblemsthat'dcomefromthathappening!!)

"I-I suppose it wouldn't be too much trouble as long as we don't take TOO long. My muse seems to trust some of her judgement a lot..."

"Yeahh... well I'm just going to close up shop now.

"Of course Dr.Ibis."

(Irene I swear to god you owe me big time on top of a LONG conversation about what's the plan for your patient in the long term. If I'm going to be dragged along with you on your quest to be the queen of bleeding hearts I don't want to end up sinking with you.

Geez I need a drink after this, guess I'll be needing to buy TWO packs of cold ones from the store after this "fun" work day.)

Unfortunately for future me, one of the new "gifts" I'd start to get from Standford FREAKING Pines were eyebats. Live ones. And they were just as annoying as him. Easier to get rid of though...

(AHH I HAD SO MUCH FUN WRITING THIS. I thought I'd gve it a go with writing in a more first person style when it came to a Dr.Ibis focused fic.

Yes I was possessed by a 14 year old girl harnessessing wattpad, ao3, and tiktok as I wrote this, but the idea of these two having a genuine friendship/relationship sounds hilarious to me.

I hope you liked my attempts at channeling Yusuf energy! Unfortunately he does have the tsundere curse a bit because this is a enemies to lovers kind of fic lmaoo. Hopefully the Ford energy wasn't the worst either??

I totally loved your fic other anon fanfic writer! With Jellyskink's permission we should definitely team up and write many cringey and wonderful fanfictions for this au!

Speaking of which, I'm glad once again people liked my silly little Oleander and Calamari fic! The little trickster kitty is now one of my favorite things about the au!

I love that Calamari was in the cat show Ford lost in! I'm guessing she might've won?

Either way, totally looking forward to the rivalry between Ford and Calamari lmaooo!!)

OKAY I LOVE THIS

Ibis is like "why are the hot ones always crazy"

Thank you for writing for my sad dumpling again!!! 💖💖

[blueishspace]

Hero Villain God Bonus 1

(Prev) (Next) (First)

✨Hotguy answers the internet's most asked questions.✨

*The video opens to Hotguy in hero outfit sitting on a chair in a white room, he waves at the camera*

"Hello people! Hotguy here and this is my autocomplete interview!"

*Intro music*

"I'm dyslexic so I don't know how well reading is going to go"

[What Hotguy]

"What is... Hotguy's real name? Oh I'm sorry but you aren't going to find that on the internet! It's very confidential. I have seen a few interesting theories about it though"

*Hotguy has a pensive expression*

"For example, I heard people say I'm secretly Mayor Ren. It's kind of funny even if completely wrong. Next!"

"What is Hotguy's age? Uh, you guys are really curious about me...hence this whole thing, I'm flattered. You know, there is this site that said that I'm in my late fourties! Can you believe it friends? My fourties! I don't look that old do I?"

*The hand of the cameraman appears to do a so-so motion, Hotguy gasps*

"How dare you! I'll have you know I'm not fourty or worse...fifty"

"What is Hotguy's favorite colour? Orange of course! Next question!"

*Hotguy very dramatically reveals the next one*

"What is Hotguy's net worth?"

..."I don't even know Hotguy's net worth and I'm him"

*Hotguy giggles*

"To be honest, my manager helps me with that kind of stuff. They're totally awesome."

"What shampoo does Hotguy use? Oh you like my hair, do you? Well, I like caramel or oh oh! Maple syrup scented shampoo, really nice sweet smell. It was actually gifted to me first by the number 5 hero Tay and I liked it so much I kept buying it."

"What is Hotguy's personality type? I uh never done a test for that, my manager said it would be dumb so I never done it... Maybe I could do it in the future! What do you civilians think?"

[Did Hotguy?]

"Oh no, what did I do? I'm getting worried"

*He anxiously reveals the first one*

"Did Hotguy... Fire his pr team? Who is asking this? No! I did not do anything of the sort, I'll have you know that my pr team is having a great time... What's with that face mr. Camera man?"

*Cut to the next question*

"Did Hotguy kiss... Really? ... Did Hotguy kiss Mother Spore? I very much did not, she almost killed me in fact. I don't know where you guys got the idea that I'm in a relationship with her...moving on-"

"Did Hotguy go to school? Well, I did of course, got a degree too! It was around that time that the Hero association first scouted me actually. It's also when my manager actually became...well, my manager, it was a really busy time for me!"

[When Hotguy]

"Let's see, when did Hotguy appear? Oh! You mean my first public appearance? That must have been a while ago actually, 7 or maybe 8 years ago now? I'm not quite sure to be honest!"

*He puts his hand on his chin in thought before smiling*

"These last few years have been great haven't they? And now with my new sidekick entering the scene the next few are going to be even better!"

"When Hotguy merch? Oh, you can expect new merch coming soon! I have so much I want to say about it but I don't want to spoil the surprise! Just know that it's going to be amazing!"

*Wink*

*There is some noise from behind the camera*

"Oh right! Onto the next question!"

"When did Hotguy fight Poultryman? ... That guy sure is an headache, he's following me even here, never going be free of him I swear. It was around a month ago that I fought him for the first time, of course one failure wasn't enough to stop me! I'm still onto him!"

*He stands up as he says it before remembering where he is and sitting down*

[Who Hotguy]

"Who is Hotguy? Just the top hero in the country of course! I guess people outside of Hermmittopia might not know me as much as they do those who live here... "

"Who was Hotguy's first villain? Oh that I do remember, I think it was Midas... It was Midas right? ... Yeah. A really nasty guy with the power of turning things to gold. Of course I catched him and is now somewhere where he can't hurt anyone. Catching him was hard but I manget- ...managed, sorry, to assault his back-"

*❌ Sound*

"I managed to take him from behind -"

*❌ Sound*

"I managed to... Surprise attack him?"

*✅ Sound*

"Who is Hotguy's PR team... Again? You know what, I'm not answering this one again"

"Who is Hotguy's manager? Oh! I can't reveal their name but they're great, probably the smartest person I know! They're a scientist though, so I guess it makes sense that they would know so much!"

[Is Hotguy?]

"Is Hotguy hot? Sure am, It's in the name for a reason friends! Look at these muscles!"

*Hotguy flexes in front of the camera*

"Using a bow as much as I do will do that for you, requires a lot more strenght then people think."

"Is Hotguy... single? I am, saving the city is a lot of work so I don't really have time to date anyone... I know, so many fans must be heartbroken but don't be sad! If you are interested in love then I'm sure you'll find someone ... Or someones perfect for you!"

"Is Hotguy gay?"

...

"I'm pansexual, It's a very different thing. Moving on!"

[Where Hotguy?]

"Where was Hotguy born? Here in Hermmittopia actually, born and raised here! I know it may sound unbeliavable but it's true"

"Last but not least... Where does Hotguy live? I'm uh I really can't say my adress friend! Especially somewhere a villain might be able to see! Sorry!"

[otomiyaa]

Day 26: Thunder

Childe x Scaramouche

[Miya & Mia’s Tickletober 2023] - I had forgotten about this one!

Word Count: 1.1K

Scaramouche was angry. Of course he was angry. Aether asked to meet at the Avidya Forest to explore a newly discovered domain together. Problem one: Aether did not show up. Problem two: ...

“What are you doing here,” Scara growled angrily at the Eleventh of the Eleven Fatui Harbingers. Childe.

“I was asked to join this domain adventure with the Traveler. What about you?" Childe said merrily. Scara couldn't believe Aether invited Childe without telling him. He decided to ignore Childe's question.

Also problem three:

"It's raining a lot isn't it?" Childe said. Raining? This was a huge storm. Scara and Childe were both seeking shelter in a small cave near the spot where they had been waiting a while for the Traveler, who didn't show up. 

After the storm got worse and Scara even almost lost his hat because of the wind, they moved to this cave and continued to wait for the rain to end, and also, for Aether to finally show up. It better be fast.

"...So. Hat guy," Childe said.

"Don't call me that."

"Hat guy. You've been collaborating with our dear Traveler lately? I'm impressed you were invited."

"...." Scaramouche really felt zero motivation to engage in this conversation. So he didn't. Childe continued to chat on his own. 

"He hasn't asked me lately. So when I met him the other day, I told him I don't like staying behind. I was then informed of this new domain discovery he wished to look into, and said I was free to join. Sumeru wasn't exactly on my route but still I came. And now instead of going on an adventure with Aether, I'm stuck here with you. Such an impressive turn of events. Oh. Was that lightning just now?"

Scara had been listening to Childe's babbling in annoyance and silence. But he did look up when he saw the flash too. He nodded. 

"Must be," he said, and it got confirmed by the loud sound of thunder. Scara made the mistake to twitch in surprise. Even though the lightning had already warned them, the thunder was closer than expected. Closer and louder. 

"Scared of some thunder, Wanderer?" Childe asked him. Scara continued to stare at the rain and he didn't move an inch, refusing to look at Childe or react when he stood closer to him, their shoulders almost touching.

"Whenever my younger siblings were scared of thunder, I'd cheer them up. Help them get over their fear. Let go of it. Find peace."

"...." 

Keep on ignoring Scara, you're doing great! He would almost give himself such cringe encouragement.

"It has worked every single time. Just some of my magic, and they wouldn't be scared anymore."

"...." 

"If you think of it, it's nice to know a way to reduce fear of thunder. The skies are what we can't control. So fear of it has to be taken care of with positivity.

"........"

"Want me to show you how I would do that?"

That Childe really talked too much!!!

"No need." Childe stepped closer again and now their shoulders were literally touching, so Scara sighed and wanted to move away. Only…

"Hyah!!" he yelped when too large hands grabbed his waist and squeezed. He flailed his arm in surprise, but Childe caught it and started to tickle his side with his free hand. 

"Well like this of course!" Childe sang as if Scaramouche had told him yes.

"No! Nohoho whahahat the hehehell!" Scara laughed at the sudden assault. The move surprised him, and above all, confused him.

"Whahahat ahahare you - nahhawh stahahap you lohohoser!" Scara laughed when Childe dug mercilessly into his ticklish sides.

"Just a bit of this, and fear of thunder? Gone. Isn't it incredible?" Childe said, casually following Scara down when he sank through his knees on the cold ground.

"Fuhuhhuck you ahahasshole! I'm not scahahared of t-thahaha-!" Scara wiggled and squirmed helplessly like a miserabele little worm. Childe's tickle attack came so unexpected that he couldn't have prepared himself. And now that he was already down, laughing at the Eleventh Fatui Harbinger's mercy, he couldn't find the strength for a proper counter attack. The power of Anemo wasn't really on his side, not in times of tickle-wreckings, it seemed.

"Oh, did you see that?" Childe asked. Scara didn't see anything. His eyes were squeezed shut as he fought his embarrassing reactions to the tickling. Already soon came the loud noise of the thunder again, so Childe must've been talking about another lightning flash. Not that Scara cared.

"Gehehet ohoohoff mehehe!" he barked, still enduring the pretty merciless attack of tickles. Like, Childe appeared calm and his movements weren't too firm at all. Yet he proved to possess some skill and technique even when it came to something stupid like this. Scara just couldn't move properly and could only feel those fingers creeping around his torso while his bare legs scratched against de cold stone ground as they kicked uncontrollably.

"And here too. Tummy tickles work really well on thundery nights," Childe instructed, easily flipping Scaramouche on his back so he could claw at his tummy.

"AHAHah I doohon't need your stuhuhupid - wahahah!" he roared. The storm slowly started to fade, and no more thunder was heard. So Childe also stopped tickling him. 

"Hmm. How was that?" he asked with a smirk. Scara glared at him but felt too tired to throw a fit. 

"Go to hell." He did have the energy left to say that. It earned him another quick tickle attack on his tummy though.

"STOHOHOP!" he howled dramatically, rolling over and gripping Childe's hand that attacked his stomach. Right at that moment, Aether arrived. Of course he did, great timing.

"Here you are! I was looking for you. Sorry I'm late," he said, and immediately followed up with: "Oh." 

A smirk appeared on his face. "Am I disturbing something?" he asked while Paimon let out a squeaky gasp, and she hid herself behind Aether in embarrassment. Childe calmly patted Scara's tummy and got up, clapping his hands.

"We were only waiting for the storm to finish. And I helped Hat Guy deal with his fear. Thunder can be quite scary you know."

"I wasn't scared!" Scaramouche yelled. More like squeaked. He quickly gulped and covered his mouth. All that laughter had done things to his voice. 

"Yeah yeah. So Traveler, are we ready to go?" Childe asked. Aether nodded.

"Sure. Are you ready too?" Aether asked, looking at Scara who was slowly getting back on his feet, blushing like crazy. He nodded quietly. Ah, he felt too embarrassed.

"Alright, let's go." Aether went ahead, leading the way, but Childe turned his head and glanced back at Scara. He smiled, and gave him the wink of cringe. A wink that made Scara blush furiously.

"No grudges please. I only had good intentions," Childe chirped, and he quickly went after Aether before Scara could snap at him. That... That guy! Scara stomped after them. Just you wait, Childe. He was going to get him back for this, someday, somehow. Just. You. Wait! 

[novankenn]

Prelude to... A movie on Saturday

A snippet from "a Mafia" & "From Assassin to Sales Clerk" AUs

Pyrrha was once again in the mall being dragged along by Jaune. The man she was supposed to kill, but because of her traitor of a heart and turncoat of a brain, she couldn't pull the literal trigger on the job. Of course the dense, oblivious, sweet, cutie. Pyrrha shook her head to try and replace those words... only for sweet to become loveable, and cute to morph into adorable.

So because of her inability to override her heart and brain, her mark who somehow had spotted her trailing him, decided she must be his... bodyguard. Pyrrha didn't know what was worse. Not being able to finish the job herself, or having to PREVENT other hitters from completing the contract! In was insane, and giving her a migraine.

"Jaune!" Pyrrha yelped when he grabbed her by the wrist, and started to drag her towards his chosen destination. "Hold on!"

"Come on Pyr!" Jaune spoke through his adorable goofy smile. Hearing her nickname, and seeing that smile, made Pyrrha "Goddess of Death" Nikos, blush like a school girl.

The blush, and associated happy feelings instantly died upon stepping over the threshold to Pumpkin Pete's Novelty Store. Gods Pyrrha hated this store. It was tacky, gaudy, and over priced! Like seriously $200 lien for a hoodie just because it had a trademarked rabbit head logo on it? But Jaune loved the store, and as his... bodyguard she was required to stick by his side, even in this hell.

But that wasn't the full reason she hated stepping inside this neon coloured purgatory. No that other reason was currently staffing the till of the store.

"Hi, Jaune! Pyrrha!" Blake called from her spot next to the till, in an overly cheery tone.

"Blake! Did they come in?" Jaune asked, like a over energetic puppy.

"Yep. The whole set is on the shelf, next to the Cereal Display." Blake helpfully informed Jaune, who released his grip on Pyrrha and rushed off towards the indicated destination.

"Blake." Pyrrha greeted the cashier coldly. Now why would Pyrrha be such a... bitch to some one working in customer service? Well because Blake Belladonna was also an assassin. One who had TRIED to claim the payout on Jaune.

"Pyrrha, you can relax. I signed off as not interested on Jaune's contract. You and him are safe in here." Blake informed her rival hitwoman for like the twentieth time.

"I still don't trust you."

"And that is an issue." Blake retorted. "How can you be in a relationship when you can't even trust someone in the same profession... wait that is a terrible example. I can perfectly see why you would have trust issue there."

"Whoa! Limited Edition Chainsaw-hand Pete!" Jaune shouted in excitement from his side of the store.

"How many of those freakish Sche-Pop things are there?" Pyrrha asked with a defeated sigh.

"Two dozen." Blake responded. "Anyway, you need to be more trustful. How are you going to move forward with Jaune if you can't trust and be honest?"

"Honest and truthful?" Pyrrha snorted, "Tell me Blake, in your infinate wisdom how this would go. Ahem. Jaune I'm actually a hitwoman who is supposed to kill you for a Schnee amount of money."

"Yeah, maybe not that honest."

"Anyway, have you been that honest with... Yang?"

"How do you know about her?" Blake hissed, her hand reaching for the kukri sheathed under the counter top.

"Jaune and her are friends through her sister Ruby, and you should understand... blonds talk. Especially to other blonds."

"Shit!"

"So have you taken your own advice?" Pyrrha asked with a smirk. "Opened that Pandora's box of truth, to you blond?"

"I'm trying!" Blake hissed, "It's hard, you know. I even bought out her contract four years ago, so no one could pick it up!"

"Whoa. That is commitment. When's the wedding?"

"Hush you!" Blake answered. "You're no better, you know that! Blushing and squirming like a school girl every time Jaune even looks at you!"

"How else should I react?" Pyrrha asked. "His contract has a no-buy-out clause! I'm sleeping in his bedroom for Gods sake!"

"Same or separate beds?" Blake asked instantly serious.

"Separate."

"Shit!"

"Blake, where you thinking lewd thoughts about me and my sweet Jaune-Jaune?"

"No, and do you hear yourself?"

"EEP!" Pyrrha squeaked as she finally recalled what she just said, and said out loud. "Argh! I'm a mess! What am I supposed to do! This should never have happened!"

"Preach it sister." Blake replied. "Yang wants to take me to the movies, Saturday, and I bet you an hour's wages she'll invite Jaune who will bring you along."

"A movie!" Pyrrha's heart was slamming against her ribs. "What the hell do we do at a movie?"

"Hold hands? Make out?"

"We are killers Blake! We are ill equipped to do such normal things!" Pyrrha growled in desperation while unintentionally grabbing Blake by her hands. "What are we supposed to do? how am I supposed to act normal?"

"Don't ask me!" Blake replied. " The only normal thing I know is how to work a retail job!"

"Right." Pyrrha released Blake's hands. "I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but WHY are you still working here?"

"Deery." Blake replied without hesitation. "She's scary."

"Oh, yeah... I remember her." Pyrrha visibly shivered.

"Hey!"

"No."

"Rude. You don't even know what I was going to say!"

"You were going to suggest I speak to one of Jaune's sisters." Pyrrha scowled. "Not happening. Ever."

"So then we go to this movie, flub it, Get outed as murderous psychos, and lose the loves of our lives?" Blake asked.

"Fine. I'll ask Saphron." Pyrrha capitulated. "Happy?"

"You were right Blake!" Jaune commented in his overly cheerfully friendly voice. "They had ALL twenty-four PLUS the four special editions!" Jaune pushed a shopping cart to the counter. A cart filled with boxed figures.

"Jaune. Don't you have like all of these at home already?" Pyrrha asked, leaning back from the freaky things.

"No. That was series one. These are series two. So they're different."

"How?"

"Poses. Accessories." Jaune cheerfully replied.

"I'll just ring these all though, for you." Blake commented.

"Oh, Blake?"

"Yes, Jaune?"

"Yang said something about movies Saturday." Pyrrha froze. "So I thought I'd check with you to see if you'd mind it Pyr and I tagged along?"

"Don't mind at all. The more the merrier." Blake replied, in her practiced cheery customer service voice.

[skijumper]

domiel, lillehammer 2024

"I thought we weren't talking anymore," Domen says and Daniel winces, looking hurt.

Domen is sitting on his hotel bed, scrolling on his phone through Instagram when there's a knock on his door. Confused, Domen looks up. He is not expecting someone. Most of the team has already gone to bed as far as he knows and Domen didn't order any room service.

He puts his phone on the nightstand, gets up and walks slowly to the door. Domen's body still aches from his fall earlier but that's nothing compared to what could have happened. Quickly Domen banishes the images from his head. He does not want to think about that. Before Domen can open the door, there's another knock. He rolls his eyes. Whoever is standing before the door, is in a hurry.

Domen opens the door a little and peeks out. You can never be sure. Maybe there's a burglar there who wants to rob Domen. But Domen doesn't have anything valuable on him. A few euros, yes, but otherwise there's not much to be gained from him. Standing before the door, however, is not a thief.

It's Daniel Andre Tande. Domen does a double take, not trusting his eyes. Maybe he did hit his head worse than he had thought. Daniel (or the illusion of Daniel) gives a small smile. "Hi," he breathes, "I wanted to make sure you are okay. Can I come in?" Without a word, Domen steps aside and lets Daniel in. He rakes his head of things to say. Probably "Hey, nice that you are here" or something like that.

"I thought we weren't talking anymore," is what comes out of his mouth instead. Very subtle indeed, congratulations. Daniel winces and Domen considers jumping out of the window. But since his hotel room is on the ground floor, that wouldn't help much. Only wet clothes from the snow.

Daniel turns to look at Domen but he averts his eyes, doesn't want to see the look on Daniel's face. There was a time when Domen loved nothing more than to look into Daniel's face, to see the sparkle in his eyes and to enjoy his smile. But that time is over and it is not Domen's fault. It was Daniel who ended everything, who broke Domen's heart. "With my retirement, things will be difficult between us, we shouldn't see each other," Daniel had said and in that moment, Domen's world had collapsed. Sure, officially they had never been together but Domen couldn't deny his feelings. He had fucking loved Daniel! The fact that he dared to show up here now is unbelievable. Who even gave Daniel his hotel room number? Suddenly Domen just feels anger inside him, slowly rising to the top.

"I saw you fall and I felt so much anxiety in me, it was unbelievable. Of course, I saw you walking away but I just wanted to make sure you are okay," Daniel explains and Domen shrugs. He knows Daniel's history with falls and sure, it wasn't a nice fall but Daniel could stop pretending he cared about Domen. He had clearly shown that this wasn't the case.

Domen put his hands on his hips. "See, I'm in one piece, you can go now," he said in a gruff voice and Daniel sighs. "Look, I know I have been an asshole but I still care about you, you know." Domen huffs at that, rolling his eyes. As if that is the truth. Domen knows better now than to trust Daniel with anything.

Daniel takes a step towards Domen but he backs away. A look of hurt crosses Daniel's face but Domen does not care. Who does he think he is? "You should go now," Domen says again, more urgent this time. He needs Daniel out of his hotel room or he might do something stupid like yell at him or even worse, cry. That would be embarrassing.

"Domen, please. I am sorry, I know I have hurt you and I deserve it if you hate me. But I did what I did for us. How could it have worked between us with me being retired and you in new countries every weekend? We barely would have seen each other. But I realized just how much I have missed you. It deeply hurt me to not be able to hear your voice or see your laughter. I don't know what to do," Daniel confesses and Domen thinks he sees some tears starting to collect in Daniel's eyes. Domen deflates, all the anger suddenly gone. He understands Daniel's reasoning but he can't help but feel like Daniel could have handled it better. Daniel looks so small in Domen's hotel room and Domen believes what Daniel had said.

Still, he is unsure how to proceed now. First, he probably has to say something, right? "Thank you for explaining your reasoning. That's what I would have needed when you had ended it between us. Just an explanation and maybe a sorry," Domen says and shrugs. Daniel nods miserably. "I know, I was horrible."

At that Domen laughs, making Daniel jump slightly. "Oh yes, you were. You know, I told Peter what you have said. He wanted to fly over to Norway and kill you," Domen says and Daniel looks horrified. Well, he should be. An angry Peter is not something you want to deal with, Domen knows this from first-hand experience. He grins at Daniel and the Norwegian seems slowly to relax. "I'm glad he didn't, then," Daniel says and Domen answers, "Me too."

Now Daniel also smiles a little. Shyly he looks at the floor, before he asks, "May I hug you?" Domen considers it a little before he nods slowly. He still doesn't know how to feel, but deep down Domen feels that he wants to feel Daniel's arms around him. When Daniel slowly hugs him, Domen sinks into the embrace. It just feels good to be near Daniel again. Domen has missed this feeling more than anything. Maybe it will never be the same again, but what is happening right now is a step in the right direction.

[rocklandjbrin]

Rockland fiddled with his cane a moment, as silence drew between them. Had he upset Wade with his comment? Made him feel worse somehow? But then a thanks came, and relief settled over his shoulders. "'course, no problem." The teen shrugged. Not today. A little snort met that, "Didn't think so."

Yeah... being heard was definitely something he didn't often feel with his old man. "Thanks... Means a lot, too." Wade had failed science? "I dunno, failing at school doesn't mean you don't know shi-" He swore, "I'm not doin' all that great either- in school, I mean, but I've looked into stuff." He liked learning, it was just kinda hard to keep up in class. He was late a lot, or even full on skipped sometimes, for one reason or another. Learning about mitochondria and stuff wasn't exactly easy when he was dreaming about hamburgers and oreos and ramen. He tried to study at the library sometimes, to help make up for it, but it wasn't the same. His teachers mostly thought he was just slacking off, and he ran with it.

Pretty responsible? He doubted that's how his father or his school would describe him, and it's not like he never goofed off, but, "I dunno. I try. Kinda have to, right?" He looked tired, as he spoke. He couldn't trust his old man to look after either of them, so he'd been left to pick up some of the pieces. "Thanks." He didn't really want to be the responsible one. Not all the time. He wanted to goof off. To have friends he could invite over. He was missing out on being a kid. But that was the way his world worked.

"It's not like I'm gonna sue you for bein' nice." The teen assured him, "I appreciate it dude, seriously."

As for his Mom? "I dunno. Haven't seen her since I was a baby, 'pparently she ran off." At the offer to try and find her, Rockland's stomach churned. Nerves washed over him, distant emotions welling up in his chest. Did he want to find her? "I mean, she left me, she probably doesn't want any part, you know?" That was the bitterness talking, the anger and sense of abandonment. He avoided eye contact, took another sip of his lemonade, and the bottle was almost empty now. Guess he wasn't saving it. "Her name's Sadie, she was a professor? Don't know what of- like, what she taught." He shrugged, kicked at a pebble on the ground. "I doubt she'd want me reaching out though."

And then there was the goose butt. At least that helped to lighten things up. "Definitely not, that'd be gross." A little smirk. The teen caught Wade checking his watch, and felt a knowing pang in his chest. They had been talking for a while... "I don't really have a curfew, main rule's just don't cause a ruckus when I get back. I can head back though, if you're like, gettin' tired. Guess it's probably gettin' late..." Hold up. "Do you sleep?"

Well that caught their attention alright. A middle finger had shot into the air, directed at a group of teens across the street who were hovering by a Duncan Donuts long closed for the night. The boy beneath the hoodie, propelling said finger, sneered. Just like that, the group of five moved towards him, the tallest, Shacks, sauntering forward with an irritating air of confidence. And to think, there'd been a time when Rockland had thought he was cool.

"You can't seriously blame us, Rocky." He looked to the others with cruel amusement, "It was a prank, get a sense of hum-" Too busy searching for the favour of his crew, he'd missed the draw of the younger teen's fist before it met his cheek.

"Prank my ass, I could've been arres-oof." Rockland was tackled by Archie, the smallest of the bunch, who was about a head shorter than he was, but kinda stalky for his age, and with the element of surprise on his side. Cane clattering out of hand, and across the sidewalk, the lanky teen scraped across the pavement, electric pain radiating up from his tailbone. He caught the breath that had been knocked out of him just in time to catch the thump of a fist to the nose in return. - For Wade

Wade didn't know what to make of this city yet. He'd only been here a couple days and was still trying to get his bearings. It wasn't a bad city, he thought, just cold. Just... really cold when you're alone, like all cities are. Nevertheless, Wade did some hunting and stocked up on other supplies, always wanting to stay on the move. That's how he got jobs, and that's how he kept sane.

Tonight had been quiet enough so far... that is until he heard sounds of a fight. But a fight... between kids? Was he hearing this right? Wade made his way toward the sounds, and sure enough, some kids whose parents were absent and whose bedtimes must be fast-approaching were going at it. Or rather, several kids were beating up on one unfortunate one.

"Hey! Come on, cut it out, what the hell're you guys doin'?!" Wade yelled, hoping to scatter the bullies. "You know better than this, get off him! Don't make me call the cops!" he said, watching as they all scattered... save for one. Wade knelt down beside the boy lying on the ground. "Hey, buddy, you okay?" he asked gently.

[verygaypurplething]

I fucking hate myself so much

[vaguely-concerned]

just going about my day idly contemplating how some of the ways hawke can interact with a romanced anders are not at all unlike how they interact with leandra (and a bit of carver too, especially with a purple hawke), and then thought about my hawke in the timeline where he romances anders and was hit straight in the face with 'was he ever actually in love, or was he just desperately trying to renegotiate with his mother's ghost in any way he could' and now i need to lie down. this is the power of dragon age 2

[sciderman]

Sometimes i remember a comics moment i randomly came across somewhere, where Sam Wilson mentiones a musical and Steve Rodgers says he doesn't like musicals, to whitch Sam goes "Guess that means you really are straight" and even tho i don't care about Cap America or the Avengers, the moment stuck in me for that quote by Sam. And like....Sci, any ideas if straight men actually don't like musicals or is that bullshit?

actually i think i know more gay men who hate musicals than i know straight men who hate musicals. i've had a drag queen stop me point blank when i was about to sing a barbra streisand song, and i know so many gays who pointedly hate abba. so based on my experience i think the inverse is true. most of the straight men i know are kind of impartial about musicals, but gay men? hate.

my theory is that a lot of gay men don't want to fall into stereotypes, maybe. but thaaaaat's just a theory! a gay theory.

[beef-brisket]

Charlie was silent for a moment: I'll meet you at your place.

Lucifer pulled the phone away from his ear as his daughter hung up. He sighed and paid for their meal- that Adam didn't even eat.

He was not only embarrassed by everyone staring at him but also that his daughter would have to pick up the pieces. Again.

Lucifer teleported to his mansion. He needed to get everything he needed before Adam got home.

Charlie arrived thirty minutes later, and she basically barged in.

Charlie: Dad! What's going on?

Lucifer: Adam and I... we're doing a separation trail.

Charlie: What? Why? You said everything was going great!

Lucifer: I thought so, too! But Adam was saying that I don't care! I don't listen- I ignore him! Apparently, he had this whole concert thing planned for our anniversary- he never even told me!

Charlie: Wait- you didn't go to the concert?

Lucifer blinked: No?

Charlie: Dad! He told me about it! I told you the date AND location! He even texted it to you-! And you didn't go!?

Lucifer: I just... thought it was nothing- Charlie- I swear, I had no idea!

Charlie shook her head: Dad. Are you even ready for a relationship?

Lucifer: What? Charlie, I'm basically 15,000 years old. Of course I'm ready for a relationship!

Lucifer laughed and started to make them a cup of tea.

Charlie sighed: Just because you're old, doing mean you're emotionally mature enough for a relationship.

Lucifer: Look, Charlie. Adam has had a WAY worse dating history than me, okay? Remember how long I was married for? And it's my marriage to Adam that's going down the drain so quickly?

Charlie narrowed her eyes: What are you saying?

Lucifer: Nothing! I'm just saying that Adam's the one that's had relationship issues- I have a while for nearly 10,000 years, and he hasn't had a steady relationship... well, ever. Lilith didn't like him from the moment they met, Eve was... complicated. So... maybe I'm not the issue here. Ever think about that? Or is this "blame Lucifer" day?

Lucifer waved his hands around before laughing and leaning back against the counter.

Charlie was silent for a moment. She knew her dad could be an idiot but this was ridiculous.

Charlie: ...What colour are Avery's eyes?

Lucifer groaned: Aghh- not you too! Red. Their red.

Charlie: What colour are her cheek circles?

Lucifer: Red again. Obviously.

Charlie: Her eyes are gold and she doesn't have cheek circles- Dad! That's your daughter and you don't know what she looks like!

Lucifer: Of course I do!

Charlie: What color are Adam's horns?

Lucifer blinked: W-What?

Charlie: His horns. What colour are they?

Lucifer: ...I'm fucked, huh?

Charlie: ...Yeah. you're fucked.

Lucifer groaned and rubbed his face. How the fuck has he let it get this bad? He's the king! He can't make ONE marriage work!?

Charlie: But you don't have to be fucked.

Lucifer peaked through his fingers: Huh? I don't?

Charlie: Nope! You can work on yourself! At the hotel!

Lucifer laughed: Oh, Charlie. That's adorable! But I don't need redemption! I'm the Devil!

Charlie: It's not redemption, Dad. Think of it as a wellness center! You'll work on yourself, grow, and learn how to support Avery and Adam! And, you'll learn how to be present.

Lucifer thought about it for a moment. This idea is ridiculous. But he could work.

Lucifer: ...It'll look good, right? With Adam?

Charlie: Really good. That you're trying.

Lucifer: ...even if I don't think I'm 100% the issue?

Charlie: That's a fact, dad. Relationships need both or all people working together. Both you and Adam need to work on each other

Lucifer: ...okay. fuck it, I'll do it!

Separation Trial

@beef-brisket @things-arent-what-they-seem66

Adam tapped his fingers against the table in a distracted manner. He had been there at the restaurant for a while now. Waiting for his...waiting for Lucifer. He needed to talk with Lucifer, he wanted to talk to him at home about it, in private. However, when he asked about meeting him, Lucifer simply nodded his head and said they could meet at this restaurant.

He didn't even take Adam’s idea at eating at home into consideration. Although the place Adam sat currently was upscale and nice it wasn’t what he wanted to do. This wasn’t where he wanted to have…the conversation. He sighed to himself as he saw Lucifer approach. He barely even said hello before Lucifer kissed him on the cheek before seating himself.

Lucifer: Hello my dearest, what’s going on? Why’d you want to talk at a restaurant? You know we could have talked over the phone. You made it sound so urgent.

Adam took a moment to keep his anger in check. Once again Lucifer wasn’t listening.

Adam: What I wanted to talk to you about couldn’t be said over the phone. It had to be in person. Lucifer we have been married for three whole years now.

Lucifer: Yeah I know, last week was our anniversary. Don’t you remember Addie?

Adam felt his breath hitch and he struggled to not cry then and there. Their third anniversary had been a disaster, he didn’t want to go into it. But Adam had would forever hate that day. It was what made him bring this meeting with Lucifer.

Adam: I do remember, and so should you.

Lucifer: But I literally just said that I

Adam: No, I’m talking about what happened that day. Can you please tell me what happened?

Lucifer was nervous at his husband’s harsh tone but answered him.

Lucifer: Well, I do remember that both of us were so busy, I with handling a fortis problem, then Charlie called and she needed some help with the hotel, and I didn’t get back till late at night. Oh and you had that concert of yours, by the way how was it? I don’t think I asked before.

Adam felt his eye twitch.

Adam: It was not JUST a concert Lucifer.

Lucifer: …Did something happen at the concert?

Adam: More like what didn’t happen.

Lucifer: Did no one applaud you? Were they booing you? Honey don’t worry your a great singer, you’ll bounce back.

Adam: No, there were no applause nor cheers. Because my audience wasn’t there.

Lucifer: Oh, Adam I’m so sorry.

Adam: You weren’t there Lucifer.

Lucifer: What?

Adam: You were not at my concert Lucifer, You were supposed to be there. Because you were meant to be my audience. Because that concert was going to be dedicated to you! It was supposed to be my wedding anniversary present to you!

Lucifer: But, but, but it’s not my fault if you don’t tell me in advance!

Adam: Lucifer I told you weeks prior about it. And you always said that you’d be there. But of course you lied.

Lucifer: I didn’t lie! Shit came up Adam this isn’t my fault. If anything you should have told me before I left that day! On top of that what did you expect me to do? Not do my duty as king. Tell the goetia to handle it themselves!? Say no to my own daughter, your own daughter, I shouldn’t have helped her at all?! Geez you can be selfish sometimes.

Adam’s eyes widened at that statement. He was shocked to his seat still. Then slowly he nodded his head in understanding. He was an idiot for ever even considering giving Lucifer a second chance. Taking a deep breath, Adam looked directly into Lucifer’s yellow, red eyes and said,

Adam: Lucifer, I want a divorce

[sskk-manifesto]

\\

[softquietsteadylove]

Yknow what’s missing? Hampton AU. May I kindly request a continuation of this one?

Thena stood by the vegetable beds, trying to seem like she wasn't waiting deliberately. She was just here - casually - enjoying the morning sun. It would be strange for her to wait in the garden in hopes of running into Gil while he was collecting the day's ingredients.

She was his employer, she couldn't risk doing anything unseemly or inappropriate. He was the best private chef she had ever managed to procure, and arguably the only one whose company she had ever tolerate. She had even come to enjoy it.

Ever since he had kept her company during her dreadful dinner party she had come to crave his presence more. She had been thus far restraining herself from being too conversational with him, out of fear of seeming untoward. But perhaps having a friendly relationship with her chef wouldn't be so uncouth--they could be friends.

Friends were not her forte. Even through her life in various boarding schools, she wasn't particularly socially minded. How could she have been, after growing up in this massive estate with only Karun to mind her?

Thena checked her phone again, toying with some of the stray hairs slipping from her ponytail. Nothing like 'casually' waiting for someone and checking the time. Kingo would laugh himself into hysterics if he could see her.

He hadn't been at the party, but she did mention that she had managed to avoid most everyone from the worst families to know. He didn't yet know that she had done so by hiding in the basement with Gil, enjoying crudites with his hoodie over her shoulders.

"Thena?"

She spun around, slipping her phone into her leggings pocket. "Gil, morning, how are you?"

That was a lot to pack into one greeting.

He smiled, though, as he always did. He walked up to her, basket in hand, although he wasn't changed into his pristine white chef's jacket yet. "Good, good, getting everything ready for today. I have the weekend menu all planned."

"Oh?" she prompted, hopefully in a way that wouldn't betray her lack of natural conversational skills.

"Well, I know it's not often you have a weekend totally off," he shrugged one shoulder, somewhat inviting her along as he walked up the garden beds and towards the herbs. "I bought some fresh Atlantic salmon, I've got lemons from the greenhouse, I'm gonna pair it with some really nice fennel pasta--you'll love it!"

It already sounded divine, and the way he so passionately described every dish he made always had her entranced. She had never had even close to the passion Gil had for food for anything in her spoiled little life.

"I'm sure I will," she sufficed to say, rather than gush about how she already couldn't stand waiting. She strolled alongside him, watching him eye the tomatoes. "You have yet to make something displeasing, I hope you know."

"Well, maybe I thought you were just too nice to say," he replied in a playful tone. He leaned against the brick edge, reaching for the deepest in colour.

Thena averted her eyes from the muscles in his back. This was exactly what she was trying to avoid.

"Do you have this morning off too?" he asked, leaning back with his reward and placing them in the basket ever so gently.

No, she had two different meetings she had requested to move, just for this little charade. Not that Karun knew that specifically. But she knew that Gil would be out here longer than usual to collect ingredients for the weekend. This was the perfect time.

She smiled, "serendipitous, isn't it?"

"Lucky me," he grinned and even gave her a wink.

The man was trying to kill her.

She sighed as he reached for some mint in the next section. "Are you certain you want to stay all weekend? Your room is ready, of course, but I can also have you driven home."

"Ah, I don't mind, I have some recipes I've kinda been wanting to try out, and the kitchen here has a lot more room for me to experiment with."

She was happy to let him experiment. Sometimes he discovered the most wonderful things while he was doing so. "Is that so?"

He looked back at her mid-lean, "do you like lavender?"

She restrained herself from making a face. "I admit I have only had it a number of times, at teas and such. I would not want to say I dislike it as a whole if I've only had poorly made creations of it."

"Ah," he nodded, reaching for some anyway. "Well, we can start with some subtle stuff and go from there."

She laughed faintly as he swatted at a bug buzzing around him before arranging his basket again. "I will look forward to it, then."

His eyes met hers, and she wondered for a moment if he could tell that she had waited all morning just to exchange these precious few words with him. Her hands fidgeted behind her back, "Gil, I-"

"Ah!" he hissed, slapping his neck and flinching sideways. He wiped his hand away, shaking it. "Shit, I thought it was a big fly."

"Are you hurt?" she asked, halfway between leaning closer into his space and not wanting to risk seeming even more desperate. Her hands hovered as he rubbed his neck more.

"I'm fine, just kinda stung," he grumbled before wiping his hands off, metaphorically ridding himself of the nuisance. "Let's get inside."

"Let's," she murmured quietly, eyeing him as his hand lifted faintly. It might have grazed the small of her back but it never landed. "Gil?"

"Yeah?"

She frowned, watching as the veins in his neck became more prominent. The healthy colour of his skin became overtaken by a more aggressive red. "You don't seem well, are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I-" he paused, clearing his throat once, and then more aggressively. He tugged at the neck of his t-shirt. "Throat kinda-"

He broke into a coughing fit. It only made the colour in his face worsen, caught between flushing and going pale.

"Gil," Thena repeated, but he swerved. She did her best to catch him, but she underestimated how heavy all those muscles were. "Gil!"

He gasped for air, his hand on his throat in a vain attempt to solve the problem. His other hand floated out for help.

"I'm here, I'm here, it's okay!" she did her best to assure him, holding the floating hand tightly between her own. He was a puddle in her lap, trying to breathe. "Karun!"

It took him only a few seconds, but she feared that was more than Gil had. "Madame!"

"Get the first aid kit! I think it's anaphylaxis!" Tears sprung to her eyes as she looked down at Gil amidst his agony. He was staring at her, asking for help she couldn't provide. "I'm sorry Gil, sh, it's okay, you're going to be fine."

Gil looked at her like his life was flashing before his eyes.

She bent over him, squeezing his hand. "Please!"

"Madame, I have it!" Karun declared, running with the epipen in his hand.

She snatched it from his hand, removing the cap and jabbing it into Gil's leg, against the denim of his jeans. "Please work."

The sound of him gasping was like nothing she could have imagined. It was certainly not something she wanted to experience ever again. He coughed some more, even as she propped him more upright, but he was breathing again. The swelling around his throat went down quickly and visibly.

"Gil?" she sniffed, trying not to be the one crying when he had nearly died in her arms. It took the length of her arm to hold his shoulders up, and even then she couldn't quite embrace him the way he probably needed.

After a few more pants of breath he blinked, "holy shit."

Karun, already calling the ambulance, patted Gil's knee, "very good, sir. Fine pulling through."

Gil gave a dazed thumbs up to Karun, looking up at the sky. His limbs moved like they were too heavy to control, but he managed to turn his head to look at her. "Thena?"

"Hey," she smiled, blinking her tears into her eyelashes as she focused on his face. "Can you breathe?"

He tested it, taking a deep breath, consciously expanding his chest and back as he did. "Y-Yeah, I can, now. Thanks to you, I guess."

"Well," she managed a faint smile, "Karun brought the thing."

"I, uh," Gil blinked at the orange epipen responsible for saving his life. "I didn't know I was allergic."

"Nor did I," she frowned. Because, had she known, she never would have allowed him out in the gardens at all. Or at least not without medical supervision. "We will have to see to it that you get one of these to have with you at all times."

Gil didn't exactly argue. He remained in her hold, both of them only half listening to Karun recite the situation and their location to the medical authorities.

He turned back to them with a crisp nod. "They are on their way, sir. Were you still anaphylactic I would have called for a chopper, but I believe you will be well enough to wait for them to arrive."

"Yeah, no worries, dude."

Thena smiled against Gil's hair. They had a funny relationship, but it charmed her to no end that they got along so well. "We'll be right here."

He made a small sound at that, letting her bury her nose in his hair (propriety as his employer be damned). He mumbled something.

"What was that?" she whispered, brushing her hand over his cheek (forgetting herself completely).

"The tomatoes," he repeated a little more strongly. "They didn't break, did they?"

Thena laughed, although her tears came again as well. "Gil!"

"I need those," he attempted to sit up more within her embrace against her knees. But she tugged him back again. "They're for the shakshuka for breakfast tomorrow!"

"Leave them," she soothed, rubbing his arm and patting his chest. "There will be more tomatoes."

He sighed more heavily, at least sounding more like himself. "At least put them to the side. Don't let the ambulance guys break 'em--they're perfect!"

"I will take care of the produce, sir," Karun assured him, indeed picking up their dropped bounty carefully. "You must focus on resting. I'm sure the Madame will make sure you are well situated."

She glared at Karun, positively flushed at the implicating tone in his voice.

"Cool," Gil gave him another thumbs up as Karun scurried to the house and out of their way. He looked at her, as she held him the way a knight might hold a maiden. "Sorry to ruin your morning."

She laughed again, although maybe later she would admonish him for giving her the fright of her life. "You're breathing; I'll call it a very lucky morning."