#And now he has to deal with shitty companies trying to steal the credit

[sebbyisland]

what people don’t understand is without the niche multi-media, vocaloid-centric music project people scream about particularly in August we wouldn’t have all the other niche multi-media, vocaloid-centric music projects the same group of people scream about as well.

[sigurdjarlson]

Thinking Greg, Ewan and Marianne (also Tom)

Also me rambling about a few takes I see here and there on Greg that I (respectfully) don’t really agree with.

Generally just me making things a lot deeper than they probably are, a lot of speculation and headcanons, blah blah.

Disclaimer: if you disagree that’s perfectly fine. None of this is an attack on anyone. Or even aimed at anyone in particular.It’s more just rambling and getting thoughts out.

Oh and the usual “I don’t condone what these characters do and they all suck” disclaimer because if you don’t put that people assume ur like lusting after Bezos bc you like fictional capitalists

Tw: abuse mentions (I’m regards to Ewan and Logan’s childhood and Tom and Greg. Also brief Tom/Shiv mention too)

First off I think Ewan is more similar to Logan than he thinks. I don’t actually like Ewan very much. I think he’s generally an unpleasant dude.

His morals come off performative. It seems more like he wants to find a way to be superior to Logan (being clearly bitter about Logan getting more than him) and has settled into believing he’s morally superior.

But he still backs Logan when the vote of no confidence happens. You know, the guy he claims is singlehandedly my destroying the world? It’s a selfish decision based on his own sense of familial loyalty rather than trying to make the world better.

He’s sitting on millions himself after all (and not just the inheritance he’s dangling over Greg’s head and later donated to Green Peace) so frankly he’s not exactly the voice of the people over there.

His relationship with Greg in particular is..sad. There’s no emotional warmth there from Ewan. None at all. Even when Greg tries to be affectionate he’s immediately rebuffed. He treats Greg with same disdain and annoyance as everyone else.

It’s possible he’s disappointed in how Greg turned out even before he dug his heels in and refused to leave the company. Greg didn’t exactly seem like he had a lot going from him lmao.

Maybe he’s just incapable of genuine selfless affection much like his brother. Whatever abuse they went through has clearly left them very..dysfunctional to say the least .

Ewan isn’t as outright cruel to Greg as Logan is to his kids. He doesn’t and hasn’t hit him to our knowledge. He just..has no emotional warmth and affection. Something Greg clearly wants.

He’s manipulative like Logan though. Greg does something he doesn’t like and he dangles his inheritance over his head as a threat. When Greg refuses to comply he donates it.

And then we have Marianne who we know almost nothing about.

It’s hard to say because we no absolutely nothing about Marianne’s mother but from what I can see she seems about as distant as Ewan is with Greg.

It could be that she’s simply annoyed with him and maybe she doesn’t act like that with him all the time but honestly i think she probably is emotionally distant like her father.

I mean I get that Greg probably asked for money a lot but her refusing to give him anything was kind of cruel. Dude had to sleep in a church and steal food from work. Like you sent him there and he actually is trying to get in so maybe idk support your son?

We know she racked up a ton of credit card debt that Greg pays off for her. Which is hmm interesting and again kind of shitty for her to do that? I mean I know he’s got money now but who’s mooching off who now LMAO

We know she’s got some of that Roy cunning and predisposition for manipulation. She’s the one who encourages Greg to use nepotism to get what he wants, she tells him to strategize and decide who’s more important [Shiv or Roman].

But she does tell her father to make sure Greg eats when he’s in town so she clearly cares about him somewhat.

I’ve seen people headcanon she’s got a drug problem given that she’s shown taking pills but those could be anything. (Health problems, mental health problems, some pain meds because dealing with Greg gives her a headache lmao)

Also she has a dog so that’s nice. I like to think Greg is a dog person.

We also know she was married at one point to Greg’s father who from what we know is basically an absentee slutty gay dad.

Nicholas mentions Greg comes from a “broken family” and says his father isn’t around and his mother feels far away. They also refer to Greg as being raised by his mother. So we can assume Mr Hirsch took off on them at some point

Nicholas really focused on that it isn’t just about the money for Greg. He wants a family. He wants to be a part of something.

It’s very telling Logan gets him to stay against his grandfather’s wishes with “I like you, Greg. I do.” I doubt that was genuine but pretend affection worked like a charm with Greg because his grandfather doesn’t give him that. (I don’t think Ewan DOES like Greg lmao)

So Greg’s dad took off and his grandfather is about as emotionally intelligent as a worm. Not exactly the best father figures eh?

Or Tom getting Greg to open the cruise files with “You’re family.” And Greg just says “thank you.”

And the Roys are fucking insane but “there are enough good moments with these people that he feels like he’s a part of something” - NB

And I find it interesting they say he wants family when his mother and grandfather are family but I think it’s fair to assume they’re both emotionally repressed so Greg looks elsewhere for the approval, guidance and affection he wants so badly.

(And ended up looking in the worst place possible)

We don’t know how many times Greg has seen his cousins and uncle before this. Caroline says they knew him as Greg the Egg and Shiv knows enough to correct Logan when he calls him Craig

(I assume Marianne and Greg were cut off when Ewan and Logan became estranged, if they weren’t already I mean. Although Marianne was able to contact Marcia to tell her Greg was coming so she must keep in contact to some degree)

If I’m not mistaken Connor says something to Greg in the background “your mother is funny” at the dinner table so they know who she is.

We also know they weren’t particularly wealthy. I’ve seen the (it was either a show runner or Nicholas Braun) where they say he’s never had a pair of nice leather shoes and never had a nice fitted suit in his entire life.

Greg is absolutely awed by their lifestyle. (Makes me think maybe if he did ever see his cousins it was when he was younger). He clearly didn’t have his cousins’ lavish lifestyle.

Which is odd because Ewan has money. He could share it with his daughter and grandson but he doesn’t. Why? Out of principle? Did she give him a reason? (Like racking up credit card debt lmao) Despite all his preaching he is seemingly fine with letting his daughter and grandson struggle.

But my conclusion is I think Greg came from a fairly emotionally detached family and that’s why there’s this part of him craving attention, affection and approval.

That’s a part of Greg I don’t see many people discuss and Nicholas Braun keeps emphasizing it. He’s lonely and he’s scared. He doesn’t have anyone except Tom and Tom is volatile and abusive to him sometimes.

(Don’t get me wrong, I love the ship, I love these dysfunctional maniacs but in the end that is what a lot of Tom’s aggressive behavior is. Abuse. I won’t deny that because that would be doing a disservice to both the characters and the ship. It’s so interesting because it’s messed up. Same with Hannibal and Will. Nothing wrong with shipping problematic things because well, they’re not real so no one is getting hurt)

Yes Tom’s behavior is a result of Shiv’s emotional abuse but that doesn’t really excuse it. It just explains it. I love both Tom and Shiv btw

But yeah Greg is thrust into a world he knows nothing about and he has to adapt. He’s trying to emulate the people around him and unfortunately they all suck lmao so he’s becoming a progressively worse person as he adapts to this lifestyle.

Tom praises him for blackmailing him, Gerri praises him for snitching on Tom, Kendall praises him for blackmailing him as well. Every time he lights up like a Christmas tree

Is Greg greedy? Hell yeah but I think his greed comes from a different place than the Roys greed comes from.

Greg has been a rock bottom before, he had nothing when he arrived. Why wouldn’t he want security? And then why wouldn’t he want luxury? (His cousins have it and they didn’t do anything to earn it other than being born into the right family)

He’s desperate to not to end up sleeping on church pews and scrounging food from offices again.

(I wonder if there ever was or is any lingering bitterness/resentment that they get all this and he got so very little. If there was I’m sure Ewan was the source)

Nicholas Braun says a lot of things boil down to being about survival for Greg and that tracks.

He jumps sides and blackmails and manipulated because he’s trying to survive in this cutthroat world and he needs to be on the winning side to keep himself afloat. (Is that not what they all try to do?)

It’s not out of malice or cruelty. It’s necessity. He doesn’t want to hurt anyone intentionally but he’s looking out for himself. Self preservation.

If Shiv, Connor, Roman or Kendall fail they usually still have obscene amounts of money to fall back on because for all his threats Logan won’t let them stay gone for long. He’s too controlling.

Greg does not have that. Especially after Ewan takes away his inheritance.

(No one else is looking out for him after all except Tom and that’s a volatile, rocky and confusing relationship for him. Also Tom did fuck him over by implicating by in the cruise scandal and was originally planning on using him as a scapegoat)

He’s watching them all stab each other in the back every other day and he’s also being praised for shitty behavior. Is it really a surprise he’s got progressively “worse”?

Also frankly no one is particularly nice to him? He’s constantly mocked, berated, humiliated and dismissed by everyone. They were so ready to sacrifice him and Tom “Tom sundae with Greg Sprinkles”

There are enough nice moments as NB said that Greg feels like he’s a part of this messed up family but..he’s really not. Like by blood yes but in their eyes? He’s not really a Roy. Neither is Tom. They’re not on the same level.

So..sometimes I ask myself why do people act like Greg owes any of them loyalty? Because they’re family? Bullshit, that doesn’t matter. I hate that shit. If family treats you like shit you don’t owe them anything. No matter what material things they give you.

Also hm maybe I’m an ass for this but I don’t care that Greg is a bit of a mooch when it’s the Roys he’s mooching off of. They are billionaires. They’ll survive Greg being a bit of a parasite (might as well get something out dealing with that family) it’s not like he’s going to hurt their feelings either.

I see a lot of “Greg acts entitled to stuff because of his family it’s disgusting. Nepotism at its finest” and this one makes me laugh because yeah I can see a few times where acts like that…but so is every single character on this fucking show? The Roy children more than any other characters.

The Roy kids didn’t earn their dad’s fortune. They are living off their father and if he didn’t own the business none of them would have a job there because none of them know what the fuck they’re doing or how to interact with other human beings (Roman especially LMAO)

Connor literally lives off his dad’s money and does pretty much nothing else until he decides he’s going to try to be president (Connor my beloved..you are so dumb)

I’m not saying he’s better than them either. Just that they’re both shitty and I don’t see how Greg doing the same things the Roys do makes him the most evil character on the show (no joke I have seen people say that and not in a joking way)

There’s a weird very aggressive double standard for people who just HATE greg for some reason (which is fine) and I think that’s a failing in the writing because Greg doesn’t have nearly as much material for the audience to sympathize with and get to know him like we do the Roy kids.

So when he does dick things it’s like “wow what a dick” rather than “oh he did that because ____ and he’s still a dick but I get it now”

I mean I’m looking for those things because I’m deranged but the average viewer I mean.

(Tom gets a lot of these same takes about not being worthy, being too entitled, needing to be knocked down a peg, etc or whatever but he gets a lot more sympathy than Greg and again that’s a flaw in the writing for Greg. Or maybe it’s on purpose who knows.)

Anyway we were talking about Greg not owing loyalty to the Roys.

Kendall gives him an apartment but it’s not a completely selfless gesture lbr. He needed a place for his parties. He needed Greg to get him coke and wanted to keep him on his side.I love Ken but he doesn’t seem to care much about Greg as a person.

He doesn’t owe Tom anything either because frankly Tom owed him for getting him into the cruise situation in the first place. Also considering the abuse Tom has consistently flung at him… (both physical, emotional and mental) it makes sense he feels a mix of resentment and a desire to get the fuck out of there

Sometimes I get the feeling people think Greg like owes Tom love back? (You can’t owe someone love just because they were nice to you a few times for that matter but that’s a whole other conversation) like because Tom loves him so much he’s a terrible person for not feeling the same way? (If you’re assuming unrequited in Greg’s part)

If I was Greg I’d fucking hate Tom. I would have called HR a loooooong time ago. (It wouldn’t do anything with that shit show of a company but I digress)

The fact Greg willingly sticks around after his attempts to leave are foiled is insane.

The fact he even seems to genuinely like Tom is a strange miracle. Yes, Tom has done truly good things for him but he also abuses him. That does not disappear or become magically forgotten just because he’s doing something good for him now.

I think Greg cares for Tom but I also think there’s a lot of resentment there over how he’s been treated. He doesn’t like how imbalanced their relationship is. He wants them on equal footing.

Tom is so many things to Greg no wonder he’s completely baffled by him. (I see people say three don’t understand how Greg can’t see it but uh the hostile behavior would throw me for a loop too. Just because it’s obvious to the audience doesn’t mean the characters themselves are being written with the same knowledge we have)

He’s all these conflicting wonderful, horrible things.

He’s safety, he’s danger, he’s affection, he’s scorn, he’s a helping hand, he’s the hand holding him down, he saves him, he purposefully implicated him in his crimes, he says trust me, he says never trust anyone, he’s a kiss on the forehead and bruises from water bottles flung at him in a rage.

He’s all of these things at once and I think that’s really fucking confusing for Greg.

I think Tom does realize he needs to put them on more equal ground for their relationship to improve in Greg’s end. (Greg’s less than pleased reaction to being offered the position of “Tom’s attack dog’ is very telling. He doesn’t want to be under Tom’s thumb anymore. He resents that power imbalance)

Will Greg betray Tom? I don’t know. Only time will tell if all those lessons on being ruthless have truly sunk in.

Tom kicked that dog [Greg] a hell of a lot and petting him now won’t make him forget. He shouldn’t be surprised if/when Greg turns around and bites him too.

Do I think losing Tom would devastate Greg? Yes, regardless of how you interpret their relationship. Tom is really the only person he has. He’d be completely alone. So, betraying Tom would ultimately ruin him too because the rich life won’t be so much fun with no one to share it with. It’ll be empty and pointless.

Logan is gonna play the same mind games with these two as he does his kids. (New kids who dis) and ultimately whether they end up screwing each other over or not (hopefully just screwing part heh) there’s no way this will end well

Another point I wanted to touch on is Greg’s complete disinterest in sex up until it’s suggested he can use Comfrey or the Contessa to climb the social ladder. (He expresses clear discomfort at the idea at the bachelor’s party being a sex party and doesn’t even respond to Tom’s “we should talk to some girls”)

And he loses interest the moment a girl seems to return his affection.

This could be interpreted as closeted Greg or at least Greg who’s willing to play straight to get better social status.

(But also bi Greg is a possibility but he just isn’t interested in them beyond social climbing apparently)

I for one like the idea of gay closeted Greg? Because I think seeing him struggle with the idea of becoming his father (gay homewrecker) would be really very interesting.

There’s a lot of potential here. Internalized homophobia even? Where he unconsciously sees being gay as something bad, as something that destroyed his family? Or just being terrified that his mother will look at him and think he’s just like his father.

Just daddy issues galore because not only did he lose his father but he has no stable father figure in his life. (I think he sees Tom as one in a twisted way, but also a potential lover. Daddy issuessss)

Like he needs someone to guide him and love him.

He can chase riches all he wants and that may keep him living in the lap of luxury but it doesn’t mean he’ll be happy.

In fact Nicholas B says that Greg just needs someone to ask him if he’s okay? Because he’s not. “Everything feels bad in this world all the time for him”

Greg is greedy. He’s..starving for a lot of things. For love, family, security, money, power, all of it. He wants all of it and he wants it all at the same time. (Who doesn’t want these things to some degree)

And I think it’s because he’s never really had any of those things in the first place.

I also think at this point he’s very lonely when it comes down to it. Tom is all he has and that’s probably half of why he tolerates Tom’s behavior at first (also he didn’t really have a choice) before he genuinely starts to care about him too

And he does show genuine concern for Tom at times. I think it’s just a very complicated relationship, maybe even more so on Greg’s side because of how volatile and wishy washy Tom has been to him.

“I wonder if she’d still be there if she knew the real me?” (Who is the real you, Greg? Because honestly we don’t know at this point and I really hope we get to know him 😉)

I just really wanna know more about Greg and his family okay. Let me get to know Greg the Egg

[thiswasinevitableid]

88. I dropped my watch in an open grave, jumped in to get it, and while you were visiting your dead grandmother, you saw me climbing out of the grave (credit to @enchantedcass)

Indruck, sfw or nsfw, please!

Here it is! This is technically SFW, though there's some discussion of sex and a bit of steaminess at the end.

“Here, these are fresh.” Indrid sets the wildflowers on the small, stone marker, so covered with moss and worn with age that no one can read it. He only knows where to find her because he watched from the Barrens as she was put in the ground.

Temperance Leeds. His grandmother, the one who narrowly avoided accusations of witchcraft, the only human who ever set foot deep enough in the trees to bring him food, to drape blankets over his shaking shoulders. She never forgot him, and he shall return the favor as long as he lives.

There’s a thump of earth behind him and he whirls; it’s midnight in a graveyard, who could possibly be here? The ghosthunters usually wait for darker nights to come. In his periphery, a hand rises from an open grave.

Great, if the dead rise he’ll probably be blamed for that too.

“Fuck” A young man pulls himself from the grave, staring at his cell phone, “c’mon, please don’t be fuckin cracked.” Light illuminates his face and sighs, “thank fuckin christ.”

The light disappears and he blinks, eyes adjusting to the dark. Indrid, too caught up in working out why he’s in the ground, hasn’t bothered to hide as he should. The human notices.

“Uh. I. Uh. Dropped my phone checkin the time. I, uh, definitely wasn’t smokin in the off limits, uh, fuck, graveyard I, uh, I fuck, promise I’ll clean up my beer bottles I mean, uh, fuck.” He scratches the back of his neck, “please don’t call the cops?”

“Can you see me?” Indrid cocks his head.

“Yeah?”

“And you are worried about me alerting the police?”

“I mean, guess we’re both breakin the rules but I kinda figured you were staff here because of the clothes.” He gestures to the ensemble Indrid cobbled together from clothes lines.

Indrid stands, stretches his wings, flicks his tail and watches the human slowly notice the color of his eyes and the outline of his horns.

“Fuck. Look, man, whatever you are, I swear I won’t tell, I’m just tryin to keep busy, please, my folks are already worried about me-”

“I’m not going to harm you.” Lightning cracks through the sky, flashing his shadow across the frightened human, “I just wanted you to see me clearly.”

Rain patters on the leather of his wings. The man looks up at the sky, face seeming even younger as it fills with resignation. Indrid recognizes it’s source.

“You have nowhere to go, do you?”

“No. I, uh, decided I wanted to get outta town and never come back, made it as far as here before I ran outta money.”

Indrid offers his hand, watches the man’s face zero in on the claws, “You may spend the night with me, if you wish. My home is a ways into the woods, but it is dry and warm.”

“Okay.” The young man replies softly, letting Indrid help him up as the dirt turns to mud. Indrid shelters him as best he can with a wing until they reach the cottage. Indrid kneels by the fireplace, lumps kindling into a pile as the young man sets his backpack on a chair.

“Nice place. Gotta admit I was expectin somethin more dilapidated. On account of the whole, uh, y’know.” He gestures to Indrid’s horns and cloven feet.

“It was much like you expected, once upon a time. But a human named Arlo Thacker took pity on me and helped me build it with the aid of a few friends. There.” The fire flickers merrily, “that should keep us warm. You may--ah, what are you doing?”

The young man has removed his jacket and shirt, revealing what Indrid recognizes from human magazines as a sports bra. His hands are now on the fly of his jeans.

“You said I was supposed to, uh, spend the night with you?”

“Yes, in that you may sleep here to be safe from the weather and any who might wish you harm. Not so that you may keep me warm. So to speak.”

“You’re not gonna fuck me?”

Indrid flicks his tail, surprised, “You would offer yourself to me, looking like this?”

The man nods in a way that suggests he’s run a calculus in his head and decided Indrid’s desire was less abhorrent than some other option. Indrid crosses the small living room, bringing them face to face. He reaches out a hand, runs his claws through black hair until the human closes his eyes. Then his hand slides to cup his cheek, one nail tracing fond little shapes on the skin as the man sighs. Against his better judgement, he tilts his head down to nose the dark locks; smoke lingers there, just as alcohol hangs on his breath. He’s so warm, so willing and so very soft. Indrid wants nothing more than to undress him further, carry him to his cozy bedroom and discover what sounds come when he fits their bodies together.

“What’s your name?”

“Duck. It’s a nickname.”

“A charming one. But no, Duck, I will not take such advantage of you. I may be called a devil, but I do not believe in making one trade their body for basic kindness. Come along, the bedroom will allow you more privacy.”

“Thanks.” Duck sways, and Indrid senses a weariness he’s not certain a good nights rest will fix. Tomorrow he will be sure to be gone when Duck awakens, leaving his dry clothes and a map back to town outside his door so that he can do what Indrid can dare to; leave the Barrens and find a life waiting for him in the world beyond.

-----------------------------------------------------------

There are some days when Duck thinks his encounter in the woods was a dream. The hand-drawn map he keeps folded among his books tells him otherwise.

He’d come home after that night, made his peace with Kepler for a few years more, and often awoke from dreams where he was pushing through brush in pursuit of a strange shadow. He never cites these as a reason for his taking a job at a state forest in New Jersey that includes the Barrens.

Now, he’s decided to upgrade from his apartment to a house in the woods that’s been listed for over two years and is a goddamn steal because of that.

“As you can see, there’s another residence across the clearing; that’s why the company that built this lovely dwelling was able to do so. They intended to build a nice little community here.”

“The fact that ain’t happened got anythin to do with the reason I gotta stay the night before I make an offer?”

Ned’s smile falters, “Indeed, dear boy. I like you, so I’ll be forthcoming; we’ve never seen anyone in the other house. But they have most certainly seen us.”

Duck settles in for an uneventful afternoon and evening, reads his book and considers whether he could fit some windowboxes on the house for garden space. It’s not until it’s pitch black outside that it starts; footsteps on the roof, followed shortly by red eyes peering in through the living room window.

He opens the front door, the undergrowth rustling hurriedly to his left.

“Uh, hey there. You may not remember me but, uh, we’ve actually met before. About ten years ago. You uh, you let me stay the night?”

Only some crickets, unaware of the tension in the air, reply to him. Then the bushes grow two, ruby red flowers.

“Duck?”

“Yep. Y’know, you never told me your name. If we’re gonna be neighbors, feels like I oughta know what to call you.”

A shadow moves from the trees, stopping when it reaches the light spilling from the windows. He’s as Duck remembers him; short horns sprouting from a mop of silver hair, claws on his fingers and black wings folded on his back. His skin is a swirl of ashy grey and ember red. And his face, while striking, is human. That was the part that always tripped Duck up; the Jersey Devil was always drawn with a goat or horse face, making him question whether that’s who he met all those years ago.

“Indrid. My name is Indrid.”

“Nice to see you again, Indrid.”

The other man smiles, and Duck knows what will replace the mad hunt through the brush in his dreams, “Likewise.”

-------------------------------------------------

“You know, she had three more children after me. None of them suffered the same curse.” Indrid kicks idly at the long decayed remains of his family home. Their nightly walk brough them close to it this time around, and Duck had been curious. His interest is never prurient or morbid; Duck wants to get to know Indrid, not his legend.

“That fuckin sucks.”

Indrid chuckles, “I do enjoy how you put things so plainly.”

“I’m serious, what kind of folks put their kid out when it’s a baby? I mean, mine weren't always the fuckin parents of the year but at least they understood lookin after me was part of the deal.”

“It was a different time.”

“Fine, but I’m still judgin the hell outta them.”

Indrid looks fondly down at the human, “That’s as fair a fate for them as any.”

---------------------------------------

“It don’t weird you out?” Juno indicates Indrid’s house from where she and Duck are sitting on his front porch. The twin Adirondack chairs are a new addition, as the warmer months mean he and Indrid spend ample time trying to see the stars through the treetops.

“Nah. Indrid’s a real good neighbor when he’s around. He’s uh, from an old family so he don’t gotta work. Part of why he keeps such weird hours.” Duck wishes he could introduce them; it’d be nice for the three of them to have dinner before Juno heads south again. But Indrid has several centuries of shitty human encounters that dig under his skin like splinters, and Duck will never push him to ignore that pain. Besides, there will be other visits.

The summer and fall pass in much the same ways last winter and spring did. Duck works in the park, visits friends in town, runs errands, and generally goes about all the mundane moments that make up a life. Then he spends his evenings in one of the two cottages, or walking alongside Indrid on long-overgrown pathways.

The hardest part of it all is not mentioning Indrid in every single conversation; Duck is already tempting disaster being unable to lie and the neighbor of a cryptid. He doesn’t want to also drive his friends up the wall talking about said cryptids art, or his laugh, or the little herb garden Duck is helping him grow.

They’re in the stretch of days between Christmas and New Year, and Indrid has just finished opening the gift Duck brought him; a thick, soft sweater that Duck stitched a “I” into the front of along with a few little pine tree patches. Indrid smiles at him and notices that Duck’s sweater is done in a similar fashion (in fact, everyone in the Newton family wears one like this). The grin turns bashful and Indrid rubs his cheek against the fabric.

“Thank you, Duck. I, ah, I’m sorry I do not have anything to give you. Holidays are not my strong suit.”

“Just gettin to see you is enough.” Duck stands to refill his tea, Indrid’s gaze caressing his back as he moves through the room. He almost hadn’t gone home, had offered to stay and keep Indrid company. But his friend insisted, reminding him that while it felt odd to be without each other, they both had spent plenty of time apart and been fine. All the same, when he got home yesterday Indrid was knocking on his door before he even put his bag down.

Duck didn’t mind at all. No more than he minds when Indrid sleeps with his head in his lap or strokes his hair while they read on the couch.

The cryptid stokes the fire as the snow gives way to sleet, streaking the windows with icy drops.

“Goodness, what a frigid night.”

“No kiddin.” Duck sets his mug down, turns just as Indrid gets to his feet, “can’t say I mind, kinda reminds me of the night we met.”

The colors of Indrid’s skin make a blush difficult to spot, but Duck’s learned which dip of his head and quirk of his lip means it’s there.

“‘Drid? Did you ever think about that night? Because I did. I, uh, I do.”

“Yes.” Indrid’s tail twitches.

“What do you think about?”

“I, ah, I...you first.”

Duck crosses the creaking floorboards, looking up into red eyes, “I think about how safe it felt when you brought me here. How when I woke up, I felt like this was some kinda weird sign, that I needed to rethink some things and that’s how come I went home, which turned out to be a good call. And” he smirks, “I think about how I was drunk and desperate enough to ask the fuckin Jersey Devil if he was gonna fuck me.”

Indrid blushes once more, studies the ground as Duck touches his shoulder, “I must say that is the part that dominated most of my thoughts. Not right away; for the first few weeks when I thought of you I only hoped you were alright. Then I would let myself imagine that I had been devilish indeed.”

Gently, Duck raises Indrid’s hand and cradles his cheek with it as they did that night, “What would you have done, devil of mine?”

A snicker, “I will answer that only if you tell me whether you are angling for the demonstration that I think you are.”

“Damn right.” He closes his eyes, heart swelling and skin prickling as Indrid steps closer and nuzzles the top of his head.

“I would have asked if you were tired of running. If you wanted a home. And would you like to make it here, so that we could keep each other company. I know in my heart this would have been a selfish offer. I am glad I did not make it, did not trap you here, resign you to a fate that was not what you would have chosen freely.”

“I’m pretty fuckin free these days.”

“And that all on it’s own fills me with joy. But yes, there were nights where I wished I’d been selfish.”

Duck tips his head up, brushing their noses together, “Say you made that offer and I accepted. What then?”

Indrid cups his face with both hands. The kiss is chaste, Indrid sighing against his lips as he twines his claws in his hair. Duck wraps his arms around his waist, lightly teasing the edge of one wing.

“Then” Indrid murmurs, “I’d carry you to bed.”

“Yeah, that part woulda been easier when I was seventeEEN” he laughs as Indrid scoops him into a bridal carry with ease. He’s never been in Indrid’s bed, so he giggles again when he discovers it’s ten times squishier than his own. The cryptid sinks onto it with him, guiding him so they’re face to face on their sides.

“May I undress you?”

“Knock yourself out, darlin.” Affection deep and warm as a thermal spring wells up in him as Indrid carefully removes his sweater and shirt before dainty setting his claws to work on his fly. When Duck is down to his boxers, hunger enters Indrid’s eyes for the first time.

“Oh you are divine.” One hand strokes his leg, pausing at the crease of his thigh each time it reaches there. The other curves along his belly up to his chest before caressing his face, the black claws making his skin seem oddly pale and very fragile in comparison.

Duck touches the hem of Indrid’s shirt and the cryptid freezes.

“‘Drid? Is this okay?”

“Do you...truly wish to see me unclothed?”

Duck surges forward to kiss him as he rucks up his shirt, the movement a sufficient answer for Indrid to raise his arms and let him pull the sweater and battered shirt beneath it away. His skin here is the same swirl of colors as the rest of him, but there’s a dusting of peach fuzz fur across it. It’s delightful under Duck’s tongue, though the little keen of pleasure from Indrid is even better.

“It’s strange” Indrid traces hearts and zig-zags with his claws along Duck’s sides as the human continues kissing his chest and neck, “I thought that seeing you like this would so overwhelm me with need that I’d beg to have you this instant. But it seems I feel much the same way I did in my fantasies of that night.”

“Oh” Duck reaches up to toy with the base of a horn and Indrid groans happily before continuing.

“Had you stayed, knowing you were now mine, I’d have taken my time. Nestled you under the blankets, opened you up on my tongue until you were weak from pleasure. That way it would be easy to take you when I was ready. Perhaps on your back, so you had me to hold onto if you needed. Or on your belly, so you would be even more sheltered from the cold, cruel world by my body and wings. And I’d stay there for hours, make up for decade after decade of touch starvation by glutting myself on your young, willing body.”

“Holy fuck, ‘Drid.” Duck pulls him down into a kiss, “christ that’s a fuckin good image.”

“Mmmm” the cryptid licks his cheek, “it is, isn’t it. But since you are not going anywhere, and we are not limited by the confines of my imagination, I am even less inclined to rush. Will you indulge me with just kisse tonight?”

Duck brushes silver hair from his forehead, planting a kiss there when he’s done, “Of course.”

----------------------

The morning brings several feet of snow and announcement that those who can stay in their homes and shelter from the ongoing storm should. The pines drop heaps of white across the ground, and frost makes the windows so icy it’s better to draw the curtains and stay curled up in the dark.

Duck doesn’t mind at all.

[lovelyirony]

Fic title meme : pulvis et umbra sumus (We Are Dust And Shadows)

On every single document, including the ones that show what actually happened to Howard and Maria Stark, Tony Stark is listed as dead among them. 

He is not. 

But in not calling in the accident on the abandoned road, Tony managed to find someone else to take his place and escaped. 

Tony Stark is dead. A whole family funeral and everything. Obadiah pretends to cry. Tony is at the funeral with shitty dye in his hair and sunglasses that he wouldn’t be caught dead wearing. Ha. 

The funeral is closed casket. All their faces are rumored to be impossible to fix with make-up. 

He makes new documents. Anthony Jarvis, from Boston. Airtight background. Likes puzzles. Scored damn high on the SAT, but not the perfect score. 

(Killed him to answer some of those questions wrong, seriously.) 

Anthony Jarvis goes to MIT and requests a single room. He gets one for one semester, and then the room next to his burns and destroys his as well. So he gets moved to Jim Rhodes’. 

Jim becomes Rhodey, and he is the first friend of Anthony Jarvis, and nicknames him Tony. 

He grins at that. 

There are plenty of times that Tony wants to tell him. The thing about secrets is that they need to be shared. No one really wants a secret, nor do they want to keep it. But he keeps his mouth shut and asks if he wants to go for Thai food. 

“This is the third time this week.” 

“Not my fault it’s good! I’ll pay...” 

“Sign me up.” 

Tony and Rhodey gets Thai food. It’s good. 

Rhodey lets him in on a secret that Tony had actually known about since his room assignment. 

(You remember that guy’s room that caught on fire? Yeah, he swore that his microwave hadn’t been on, and nothing had been plugged in. He was right. But Tony needed an accident.) 

In other circumstances, Rhodey would have ignored the offer that he had. He had had his heart set on Air Force. But there was something about the man who talked to him. 

“It’s a place called Strategic-Homeland-something I can’t remember,” Rhodey says. “Point is, they’re a big deal and kind of shady, but not in the government shady kind of way. The only thing I can find out about them is that they’re an international company who need engineers, pilots, and basically anyone like you and me. I don’t know how I feel about it.” 

Tony nods. 

“You want me in on this?” 

“I mean, you did tell me a couple of weeks ago that you weren’t sure what you wanted to do after graduation.” 

(It was two weeks, three days, and fourteen hours ago. Not like he was counting.) 

“...thanks. I’ll check it out with you.” 

Anthony Jarvis shows up in a nice suit, stupid sunglasses, and impresses the higher-ups by diagnosing a problem with the engine that others had previously marked as “impossible.” 

He’s hired on the spot, same as Rhodey. 

Tony Jarvis gets his own keycard, finds an apartment in New York that’s within at least biking distance, and gets started on inventing some cute little toys for the spies in Research and Development. 

He brings the laser-lipstick to life, poison-drop-earrings, spyglasses that actually work and have HD, and briefcases that use mirroring technology to change color. 

“How did you do this?” Rhodey asks, eyes wide. “I swear this is unreal.” 

“Aw,” Tony says. “You sap. I got some inspiration from some old comic book ads. I think I’m gonna try a ring decoder next, what do you think?” 

“Almost makes me want to go on missions instead of flying them.” 

Tony Jarvis is known for working odd yet long hours. He comes up with results. And he keeps his head down and minds his own business. 

This is all to find out exactly who killed his parents. As much as his and Howard’s relationship was...interesting, he still wanted to know. 

His desire to know the truth leads to somewhere he hadn’t thought was possible: Hydra. 

His hands freeze as he looks at the paper file with thick, black lines all over. The information there was sparse. Howard, Maria, and Anthony Stark all died. It was ruled: 

And there’s nothing there. 

It wasn’t an accident. Sure he knew that, but there was something far more sinister at play. Why wasn’t it an accident? 

- 

He gets Alexander Pierce in his apartment with a man in the corner. His arm gleams in what little light from the lamps outside give off. 

“Why are you searching for the Stark files?” He asks. 

“Why didn’t you just schedule a meeting? I’m available tomorrow at three,” Tony jokes. “Who’s your friend here?” 

“Someone you wouldn’t want to shake hands with,” Pierce answers. “You need to stop looking into this before you find yourself in a situation you don’t want to be in.” 

“And if I don’t?” 

“Accidents will happen,” Pierce says. He gets up from the table, to the counter. Gets out a glass. And makes himself water. He smiles as he looks to the man in the corner. “Do you want any water, Winter Soldier?” 

Winter Soldier remains impassive. 

Tony stills. 

“So, the legends are true. And Hydra is still around.” 

“And if you aren’t careful, you won’t be,” Pierce says. “Don’t bring any of this up. Or this won’t be the last time you see Winter Soldier. I know your moves, Jarvis. Don’t think you can surprise me.” 

They exit the apartment. Tony realizes that Pierce took his glass. 

And he laughs. 

Because this? Not according to plan, but god he’s gonna have fun with it.  

It starts with telling Rhodey who he actually is. 

It does not go as planned. 

“So let me get this straight. I’ve known you for years and you just. Never told me?” Rhodey asks. “Why not?” 

“To be completely fair, no one knows besides a man in Wisconsin, and he’s from Wisconsin,” Tony says. “Also I was drunk. Drunk me is a terrible person who would sell me for a buffalo nickel.” 

“I’m still mad, even if that’s funny,” Rhodey says, trying not to smile. “So. Why tell me now? I’m assuming you need something.” 

“I would like your help,” Tony says. “It is not required but I am toppling a secret organization living in SHIELD and I think if I get your help, I will most likely not get fired by the end of this. Fury likes you, he hates me.” 

“False, he mildly tolerates you. You’ll be fine. Probably. Who else should we get to help?” 

Tony had originally planned for no one. 

But then there was Pepper Potts. 

She had been deemed by the media as “crazy” for accusing Obadiah Stane, longtime-CEO of Stark Industries, as ordering a hit out on the Stark family. 

She had been booted from the company--anticipated--and then Hydra had ordered a hit on her. 

Slightly unexpected. 

Point is, Rhodey brings her into the apartment and tells Tony casually that the grocery store had run out of his usual hummus brand, was the generic okay? 

“That’s like asking if I’m okay with blue pens,” Tony curses. “Also, is that Pepper Potts? Why is she here? Did you run into her at the grocery store?” 

“No, as I was coming back. Did you know that she has a hit out on her? Fun times.” 

“Oh my god, will someone explain to me what’s going on here?!” Pepper seethes. “I was just trying to get my yogurt without anyone taking a picture of me and some random fucking guy had a knife thrown at me and then this guy took me to your house!” 

She then rants for ten minutes about the “questionable design choices going on in this establishment, who honestly thinks shot glasses are a decoration?!” 

“Are you done?” Tony asks. “Because if you want to help with a conspiracy plot, you need to be done.” 

She is. 

Pepper does not get a job with SHIELD. In fact, she mainly just decides to take care of the redecoration in Tony’s apartment. 

“You will be paying me for this.” 

“Why would I do that? You’re using my money to buy everything. You’re living here rent free for now.” 

“Because I’m helping you make better life choices. I also want new shoes.” 

What Pepper does is provide very valuable access to Stark Industries: she knows the ins and outs, what employees do and don’t do, and also is very helpful in telling Tony what he needs to do when he takes the company over. 

“Who said I was going to take it over?” 

“Me,” Pepper says. “Also because I reviewed every single old document and the company was specified to go to next-of-kin. You are. And you’re not dead.” 

“My death certificate is literally framed,” Tony says, pointing to his graduation photo that Rhodey took. He had swapped out his official diploma with it as a joke. No one had seen it. He thought it was hilarious. 

“Yeah, but they can do DNA testing,” Pepper says. “This is like the twenty-first century Anastasia except this time they don’t find you with metal detectors!” 

“I don’t like that you know that story as well as you do,” Rhodey says. “But I’ll leave you a credit card for furniture and groceries. If you get rid of my drinks in the fridge I’m literally never forgiving you.” 

“Noted, and I don’t need forgiveness,” Pepper says. “But they’ll stay there.” 

So begins the plot. 

Pierce doesn’t know three things, which is a lot of things not to know: 

1.) Tony Jarvis is not Tony Jarvis. 

2.) Rhodey actually likes Tony and most of the time him saying that he would “kill Tony in a variety of ways, starting with sporks and moving forward...” is mostly (mostly) a joke. 

3.) Pepper Potts resides in their apartment and is having fun telling Tony she bought new silverware. 

“Why did you buy new silverware! It was fine!” 

“I recognized all of these forks and knives from restaurants. Why did you steal them from restaurants?” 

“They can replace them!” 

“Don’t. Anyways now your spoons match and you don’t have the shitty ones from different places. Also I painted the bathroom.” 

“My landlord is gonna kill me.” 

“I made her cookies and discovered that she likes going to concerts. You’ll be fine.” 

(Pepper is a goddess. You can’t convince them otherwise.) 

Pierce doesn’t know any of this, but he still holds a key piece of blackmail: Tony Jarvis shouldn’t know about Hydra, and he’ll do anything to make sure that he doesn’t lose his job. 

Tony has been recording their conversations for weeks. 

(Pierce thinks he doesn’t design things to get around the available technology. Pathetic.) 

He also has bugged Pierce as well as his house, and figures out that Winter Soldier is going to be on assignment within the DC area in an effort to kill some higher-up on the foodchain that was SHIELD. 

Well. 

Tony has always wanted to go and see the cherry blossoms a little more up close. 

Pepper, of course, doesn’t like that they left his boots on. 

“This couch is new and red,” she says. “Take off his boots!” 

“He is unconscious and probably won’t be in the next fifteen minutes,” Rhodey says. “We are not touching him and possibly shortening that fifteen minutes.” 

Winter Soldier wakes up to three faces staring at him. 

“Mission failed?” he asks, voice robotic. 

“Nope, you just got a new one,” says the man on the right. He is wearing a t-shirt. Winter Soldier thinks that in this situation, a t-shirt is not the best option. 

(Of course, he’s not supposed to think. But they don’t have to know that.” 

“Can you take your shoes off?” says the woman in the middle. “Please. You’re getting germs on the couch.” 

He’s confused. 

“Who am I killing?” 

“No one, yet,” says the man on the left. “Do you know who you are?” 

“Winter Soldier.” 

“No, like a name? I’m assuming you’ve had a name at some point.” 

“Someone has called me Mr. Freeze before.” 

The man on the left snorts. Man on the right taps his arm lightly. 

“Well, um, okay then. How do you feel about the name...aw shit. I can’t think of a name for you when your mask is on. Can you take the mask off?” 

He takes it off. It’s nicer to breathe. 

The man in the t-shirt pauses. 

“Okay. So your name is Bucky Barnes. Do you know that name?” 

Something clicked. But he doesn’t know what. 

“Sounds...familiar.” 

“Cool! So that’s your name now, do me a favor and don’t google it. I’m Tony, this is Rhodey, and this is Pepper. If you don’t take your shoes off, you’re going to be scared of her.” 

Newly-named-Bucky highly doubts that he will be scared of Pepper because she is built like a twig and she is wearing high heels. 

(He is wrong about ten minutes later when she forcibly throws a fork at him.) 

“Why am I here?” he asks. “Should I be checking back in with Handler Pierce?” 

“No,” comes the consensus from everyone else in the room. 

“Technically, he thinks you went rogue and went back to Russia. He’s organizing a team to go get you. We hired an actor to play you. It’s been entertaining. He got some plums. Do you like plums?” 

“Why is that relevant?” 

“It’s vapid and not interesting at all, Tony loves questions like that,” Rhodey says. “Now come on. We need to get you actual shirts. Also some body wash.” 

Bucky Barnes learns how to be a person. He stares at himself in the mirror for an hour and smiles slightly when Pepper calls him “vain” and pushes him aside to grab her hairbrush. 

He then learns that Hydra is trying to overtake SHIELD and they have a slight window with Pierce out. 

This involves two things: 

1.) Tony Stark coming back from the dead. 

2.) SHIELD panicking that they didn’t know this secret and taking another look at the paperwork, in which case Hydra will be found out. 

These are both easier than anticipated. Tony can act like a showman better than anyone, and has been carefully growing a goatee that is eerily reminiscent of his late father’s. Of course he’s had to switch it up. 

The media is going crazy. SHIELD as well. They’re scrambling to find paperwork that proves that it happened, and they find that the “accident” was no accident. That Howard hadn’t been working for the “enemy” at the time. 

The enemy was in the building, and they had blended in seamlessly. 

This all happens on a Wednesday, by the way. Pepper has it marked on the calendar and everything. Rhodey made his coffee. 

Bucky is busy slamming people into drywall and listening for any word from Rhodey, who is also slamming people into drywall. 

“You know, you’d think we’d get something like a suit of armor for this,” Rhodey pants out, slamming another guy out of his way. 

Bucky nods. 

“Best I can offer is a grenade.” 

“Where in the fuck did you get a grenade?!” 

“Supply closet. Second floor. What, you didn’t check?” 

“No sorry must’ve missed it--of course I didn’t fucking check the second floor closet!” Rhodey yells. 

Bucky says he’s stressed. He should calm himself. 

Rhodey chucks a particularly nasty Hydra agent out a window. 

(Bucky thinks Rhodey is probably the coolest person he’ll ever meet.) 

Tony is fashionably late to the take-down of the century. He’s already foiled a lot of plans, and taken a key-card for Project Insight to work. 

He waltzes in and nearly gets hit by a mug. 

“So, how’s the party going?” he yells over to Pepper. Pepper is still in her heels. She looks like a goddess still, as usual. It is a Wednesday, after all. 

“As fine as it can be,” Pepper says. “We’ve met some resistance. With Pierce gone there’s little infrastructure. You got his plane delayed, correct?” 

“Even better. Got it sent to London. Motherfucker is gonna be there for a while,” Tony says. “Also may or may not have said that he was a threat. SHIELD branch there will investigate, find out some questionable things in his file that he will swear up and down were never there.” 

“Good,” Pepper says. She launches a stapler at someone’s head. “Do you think we’ll have time to pick up takeout for dinner?” 

“Depends on whether or not Deputy Director Hill is Hydra.” 

They see Maria Hill pass by in a blur, yelling as she jumps onto a man and sends him crashing down over a railing. 

“Lovely, she isn’t!” Pepper cheers. “By the way, I was thinking about redoing our kitchen.” 

“‘Our’ kitchen?” Tony says, ducking a bullet and drawing out his personal lipstick-laser, firing it with expert precision. “I told you the living situation was temporary.” 

“Oh please, you have an extra room.” 

“Which was an office!” Tony tells her. 

“Like you can’t have your office at Stark Industries,” Pepper says. “I expect to hear how the reveal went over dinner. Also, please hire me back. I don’t wanna be your interior decorator for forever.” 

“Neither do I, you like modern art. Disgusting.” 

And so the fighting resumes. 

It is done by five-thirty-two, with an official surrender from Pierce. 

“Thank god, I already ordered Chinese and they said it’d be here at six,” Rhodey says. 

They all sit on the red couch. 

Shoes on. 

Tony tips four hundred percent. 

-

“So what are we doing tomorrow?” Rhodey asks. 

“I am not moving for six hours,” Bucky answers. “Also maybe getting a library card.” 

“This is the first thing you want out of the icebox? A library card?” Tony asks, laughing. 

Pepper laughs. 

“I have errands to run. You can come with me and we’ll swing by.” 

“What are the errands?” 

“Getting a kitchen mixer and also making sure that my plates match my napkins.” 

“A travesty if it doesn’t happen,” Rhodey deadpans. “Pass the lo mein, Tony. You’re hogging it.” 

“I had to fight on a Wednesday and run,” Tony says. “Today isn’t cardio day.” 

“Literally hate it when you speak,” Rhodey says. “Absolutely abhor your language.” 

They go to bed, although it’s more of laying on the floor. 

Sure, Tony will have to deal with retaking a business that he knows a bit less about and Pepper will have to be trained (again) and also fight against being made CEO (but she won’t fight much). Rhodey will get a new job with SI because it’s not like Tony will let him work at SHIELD (Rhodey tries, Tony will get him fired at some point). Bucky just...he needs to get a bit more than a library card. 

But that’s for tomorrow. 

[madamewriterofwrongs]

Hi CJ you're lovely. Today's been kind of a shit day. So I'm gonna prompt you if that's okay? Would you write some Eddie or Buck has a bad day and Chris + the one who didn't have a bad day is all about giving the comfort and the hugs and just being there? (rydergrace)

I’m sorry this took so long, and I’m so sorry you had a shitty day. I’m honored you would come to me and I sincerely hope this helps <3

For @rydergrace

He wished there was a reasonable explanation for why he felt the way he did. The sun was shining, he had a wonderful family, he loved his job, but try as he might: Eddie couldn’t muster the energy required to smile for more than a few minutes at a time.

Perhaps it had been the phone call from his parents last week wondering how Christopher was since they never saw him anymore. Perhaps it was getting the second notice from the bank that his credit card payments were late. Perhaps it was getting a knot in the line as he prepared to repel to the fifteenth story to save a victim (easily repaired, but he should have caught it sooner). Perhaps it was none of those things or some unholy combination that had him leaning against the steering wheel of his truck – an impulsive purchase that became a constant reminder of yet another one of his failings – unable to walk inside his own house.

Inside, there was his husband and his son who were both home from school and eager to hear all about his day. They would have dinner on the table and Christopher would ramble on about all the things he’d learned, while Buck would hide his smile when he had a related story to tell so as to not interrupt the boy.

Inside, the lights would be on, filling the world with a warm, orange glow that might have the power to chase the darkness from his mind. But what if it couldn’t? What if he couldn’t leave these feelings at the door until he could better deal with them in the safety of his bedroom? He never hid his feelings from either of them, never lied when things got hard, but he hated being a burden. He hated that he had so many emotions to sort through at the end of the day. He hated feeling that he would ruin the light by simple existing with the people he loved.

So, he held out on going inside for as long as possible. Let the sadness drift away quietly until it was something more easily contained and then he could face his family.

He spent so much time with his forehead pressed against the steering wheel, trying to push away the darkness, that he didn’t hear the front door open. Nor did he hear it close. He missed when it opened again and two figures approached the back of the truck and gently placed a few items in the bed. He only looked up when he heard a gentle rapping at his window.

Shame and adoration made him nauseous at seeing Buck and Christopher waving from outside. With every fibre of his being, Eddie loved those two, and that trumped anything he was feeling. He opened the door without a second thought, his smile barely reaching his cheeks let alone his eyes.

“Hey guys. What are you doing out here?” His voice crackled as though he hadn’t spoke in hours (and, upon reflection, he hadn’t) and it served as a reminder that two of the happiest people he knew were saddled with him for life.

In lieu of a direct answer, Buck outstretched his hand in offering and tilted his head towards the back of the truck. “Come on.”

Eddie took Buck’s hand in his and rose from his seat. It was a promise they’d made years ago, in front of their friends and family, through smiling tears. I will go wherever you lead.

Christopher smiled up at him and a small sliver of darkness evaporated. He’d always known that his son was his own personal miracle, but the wonders he was able to perform never ceased to amaze him. The firefighter placed a hand on the back of his son’s neck and absorbed the warmth and love against his skin. With one hand on his husband and one on his son, Eddie allowed himself to be lead away from his hiding spot (more shame swirled in his chest at his own admission).

In his dreams, the sadness evaporated when he reached the truck bed. In reality, his smile was lopsided as he held the tears at bay with sheer force of will.

“We made a picnic.” Christopher declared, already tossing his crutches against the side so he could pull himself up. He was growing stronger every day. The boy was stubborn like his father and hopeful like his Buck. He was resourceful and kind and imaginative and his whole damn world.

And he’d made a picnic for his dad.

Beside him, Buck squeezed his hand, drawing his eye away from his son and into the eyes of the man who was his moon; a gravity he couldn’t explain, brightening his night, forever a part of his life no matter how hard he’d tried to deny it.

He loved the moon.

Part of him expected Buck to question him: why hadn’t he come inside? What was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he be happy?

“I love you.” The man whispered, and Eddie held tighter to keep from releasing his emotions in one fell swoop. Instead, he tugged Buck’s hand and the two of them climbed into the truck beside their son.

They had laid a blanket from behind the couch against the floor (though it did nothing to protect them from the uneven surface and cold steal), and placed one pillow for each head at the edge of the blanket. In the corner was a pizza box and three bottles of water and on any other night, Eddie might have scolded his boys for ordering out when they would all be home at a descent hour but tonight, he was simply grateful not to do the dishes. Thankfull, Eddie spotted Buck’s laptop before he nearly sat on it – it would have meant another purchase he couldn’t afford, and the darkness crept in just a little more.

Then Christopher climbed into his lap as he sat against the truck, and his vision narrowed to the four corners surrounding him. Buck pulled open his laptop, scooting in beside his family, opening their shared Netflix account. While his husband searched, Eddie found himself mesmerized by his son’s hair. With every day – despite the Texas and then California sun – it grew darker, but he was forever the golden child. His curls were as soft as the day he’d first run his fingers through them, and they still smelled liked home. The scent itself had changed over the years; first, it was the ‘new baby’ smell that everyone talked about, then honey and baby powder, then some grassy concoction his parents had used for gentle skin, then he smelled like Eddie because it was easier to buy one giant bottle of shampoo. Now, he smelled like homemade crafts and burnt toast and skinned knees and the springtime laughter whenever Buck pushed him on the swings.

A little of the darkness subsided.

He was pulled from his contemplation by the sound of the company’s logo flashing red as he realized the movie was starting.

“What did you pick?” He reached the hand not combing his son’s hair and grabbed the pizza box to place between them.

Instantly, Buck picked up his first slice. “Something good, don’t worry. We’ve seen it a million times.”

Well, that could be any number of movies. Both he and Buck had what they liked to call ‘comfort movies’ that they could recite by heart but still watched on a recursive loop whenever the mood struck. They were perfect for a night like this.

Soon enough, his mind wandered away again, this time drifting no where in particular. Instead of a long list of his failings, there was the ominous understanding in his chest that something was wrong – that he was missing something. For the life of him, he couldn’t figure out what it was but it clawed at the walls of his ribcage until he struggled to breathe.

He could feel Buck kiss the underside of his ear, a secret place he only touched when they were quietly in love. Eddie turned and saw the concern hiding inside the affection but still, his husband didn’t ask any questions. In truth, he didn’t want him to. He knew Buck had every right to ask but he had no answers. But Buck never asked so he never had to wander into the darkness. It crept up behind him instead.

They ate pizza that grew cool in the California night air. They ate long after it grew cold. They watched a movie they loved well and when that movie ended, they watched another one. When Christopher began to shiver, Buck produced a spare blanket and wrapped the trio inside it. When the pizza was gone, the urge to remain upright grew less. By the end of the second movie, all three were laying on the bed of the truck, pillows under heads, laptop propped on Eddie’s belly since he was in the middle.

He knew the instant Christopher nodded off, feeling the weight on his shoulder suddenly double as the boy curled into his side. Even if his arm weren’t trapped beneath the sleeping body, he wouldn’t have moved for anything. Buck seemed to notice as well, because he decreased the volume just enough that they could still hear it in the silence between them.

As the third movie began, Eddie let his head fall to the side, eyes more focused on the man beside him than anything on the screen. He loved this man; it had never been something he expected to happen but it was as true today as it was the day he looked at his best friend and realized he wanted to spend his life with him. And for some inexplicable reason, Buck loved him just as fiercely (of that, he had no doubt).

Nothing his mind could conjure would ever erase the love he held for the two people in his arms.

Perhaps he should have been embarrassed to be caught staring at his husband but the only thing that passed his lips was a whispered “thank you” as he craned his neck to kiss him without disturbing the boy who’d captured his right arm completely.

They didn’t sleep in the truck – despite Buck’s quiet protests that it would be fine. Instead, Eddie carried his son inside while his husband packed up their meager picnic. As he placed one final kiss on Christopher’s forehead, tucking him under the covers, he sent a silent thank you to whoever had granted him such a precious gift.

By the time he reached the bedroom, Buck was in their bathroom, so he changed into his pajamas and went about shutting the house for the night. Buck met him in the doorway, arm reaching for him the way it had outside the truck.

I will go wherever you lead.

Falling into Buck’s embrace was the easiest thing he’d ever done. Being surrounded by him was a safe haven he never knew existed and he treasured with his entire being. Buck was solid and warm (some nights he had to physical remove his husband from his side because he thought he might boil to death in his arms). The steady beating of his heart could be heard when he tucked into his neck and just breathed. It was all he could bring himself to do but it didn’t matter. Being held by Buck was so easy because he trusted him to never let go.

For a decade, Eddie stayed within the safety of his husband’s arms and with each passing moment, he felt the world loosen its grip on his shoulders. The darkness still lingered. It would never truly abate but Eddie was never left to face it alone. Even when he was a stubborn ass about expressing his emotions (as Lena had told him with a punch to the shoulder), he had ways of fending off the darkness.

He had the smell of honey and baby powder, he had the steady beating of his husband’s heart, and he had pizza in the back of the truck with the two people who meant the most to him.

Everything would be okay.

[wannawrite]

not my type

who?: Wanna One’s Ong Seongwoo genre: 🌸 type: bullet point

blog navigator.

University! AU 

you don’t date younger guys

but you just might ;)

thanks for requesting! this was quite difficult to write since I am a child still lol. Do note that Seongwoo is 20 in this work of fiction. ⁃ admin l

disclaimer: pictures used do not belong to me and credit goes to their original owners everything that is written here is purely fictional DO NOT READ IF TRIGGERING

~

so,,,your love life 

not that exciting 

in fact, it is facing a drought at the moment 

reality is harsh huh? 

or maybe it is because of your high standards 

1. No younger guys 

2. Must be a nice person 

3. Someone I could foresee marrying 

but none of your blind dates left you impressed

and then there’s this kid from the music block called Ong Seongwoo 

he’s just one of the guys trying to worm his way into your ‘possible boyfriend’ list 

scarily enough, his tactics were working

~

we gon throw this waayyy back when y’all met 

frat parties were never your thing

in fact, f*ck linda and this stupid party, I just want to go home and sleep 

you love your roommate and all but you couldn’t help but curse her out 

after all, she had dragged you to this party thrown by one of the music department frat guys 

and left you stranded 

in a hallway with at least 3 couples passionately making out 

tonight was not your night at all 

you hated the loud, shitty music and the smell of sweat and liquor 

appalling 

but linda was your ride here and there was a slim chance of hailing a cab right now 

you had no choice but to suck it up and rough it out 

Another issue

you needed to finish that essay on sustainable fashion before the 6am deadline 

shit 

gr8 job prof 

all-nighter? 

borrow a laptop from someone and do it now? 

what the hell 

which person would bring a laptop to a frat party? 

unless you can break into one of their rooms and take one??1?1?11

you almost slap yourself at the idea

dumb worried bitch energy 

sis is out of ideas and just wants to graduate be a little empathetic, folks 

you want to sit down on the floor and sink into a puddle of goo 

oh no 

there’s no way you are going to maintain this 3.9 GPA lmaoo

you move to wrestle Linda away from one of the frat guys 

but hollers and cheers stop you

a group of guys block your path as they welcome yet another friend 

but get this! the newcomer has a laptop case in his hands!! 

he appears to have just come from a lecture or meeting 

bUT HE HAS A LAPTOP YAYAYAYAYA

now, all you had to do was to stalk him, suck up to him and steal borrow the device 

sucking up to one of these frat boys was easy 

their brains had been bruised with bud lights so they weren’t the brightest of the bunch 

before you know it, he’s whisked away by his friends and dissolved into the crowd 

crap 

you really, genuinely, wholly, need this laptop 

They would help a fellow college student in need, right?

left with no choice, you elbow your way through  

I suppose your efforts pay off 

bc you catch him as he’s headed upstairs 

barely 

“hey!” you yell over the noise. “I-I...” 

the mystery guy only stares, quizzically 

suddenly, you’ve lost all ability to form coherent sentences 

this is embarrassing!

hE JUST LOOKING 

sis gotta calm down 

remember the real reason: laptop

“c-can i borrow your laptop real quick? I have a d-deadline tonight” 

mystery boy says nothing 

...

“What’s it in for me? If i lend you my laptop?”

he tries to remain serious but the corners of his mouth are tugging up

sneaky

desperation is pretty much flooding your body 

you wld say f*ck it but you can’t 

“I’ll owe you a favour!” you blurt out thoughtlessly. 

*crickets chirping* 

hope is slowly beginning to fade and your brain is coming up with extension excuses 

just crumbs,,,anything

Orbits gg thru with the drought

when he goes 

“okay”

JESUS THANK YOU 

he beckons for you to follow him 

oh?😏😉

“I know a better work environment than here.” 

oh. 

“What’s your name? I’m y/n, it’s my third year.” 

“Woah, third year? my name’s ong seongwoo. I just got here.” 

huh, freshman 

seongwoo doesn’t say much after

he leads you to a common study area in the enormous fraternity house 

you turn away as he sets up the laptop and everything bc privacy!!!

but the number of brain cells you have left won’t allow you to remember his login details anyway 

“thanks,” you murmur bashfully 

well, this is an expected and rather awkward situation 

seongwoo plants himself in the chair a few seats away from yours 

he pulls out study materials from his backpack 

??? hello? sis, u shld be enjoying the party downstairs ???

you try to shift your fullest attention on your project 

but!! his presence alone is so loud prominent, it’s giving you a hard time keeping your eyes off😔🤧

anyway u manage to suck it up and finish paper and submit it just in time! 

a miracle 

maybe he is your angel ;)

you turn to face him and,,,seongwoo has fallen asleep!! on his books!! 

his hair is slightly tousled and his glasses rest askew on his face 

papers flap in his face but he’s too gone to care 

the poor child is tired 

💓💖💕soft hours💕💖💓: open

gently, you tap his shoulder 

“seongwoo? hey, um, your laptop,” 

he only stirs the 2nd time you call him

Cute

groggily, he covers his face and speaks into his hands 

he mumbles something about ‘dealing with it later’

you figure it would be best if you left him alone to nap 

suddenly, seongwoo grabs your arm 

at least, he reaches for it

“I need your number to claim that favour.” 

my number ????

for half a second, your heart does pitter patters 

he’s only being objective though...

and it was you who suggested it in the first place 

sighing, you punch your number into his phone 

“okay, but use it wisely and...try not to...call or text so much...”

that sounds rlly mean >:( 

“yeah i’ll keep that in mind.” 

there’s an underlying layer of...cheekiness? in seongwoo’s tone 

your brain jumps to the first conclusion it can think of 

“I don’t date younger guys, Seongwoo,” 

rEGRET FILLS YOUR ENTIRE BEING IMMEDIATELY AFTER 

now, Seongwoo looks up and beams broadly 

“Bold of you to assume I’m interested,” he taunts playfully 

red sinks into your face and you defend yourself in splutters 

“I’m not interested in general! I’m prioritising my studies and everything else! It was just to make sure you know where we stand-“ 

futile, really 

“relax,” he replies. “Just saying, I could change your mind.” 

Cocky 

but true lol

an amused scoff leave your lips and your arms go akimbo

“I’d like to see you try, freshman.” 

~

*back to the present* 

You: really, Seongwoo. I don’t see why you can’t drop by the printing station yourself 

Seongwoo: you are seated RIGHT NEXT to it. Just fold the papers into aeroplanes and fly them over 

You: a 15-page research paper ?? That clearly says ‘do not bend’ 

Seongwoo: ignore it. Throw it over 

you never predicted this was where life would take you 

here you were, sat in the library, the table by the printing room 

and Seongwoo was seated a few tables away, texting you to collect his freshly printed document

just because 

You: Oh my god shut up you’ll get points deducted if your paper is the least bit crumpled 

You: i’ll just bring it over 

so,,,you did 

you brought seongwoo’s papers over to his table 

he had been watching from afar, lips pulled into a dumb smile

“thank you, senior.” 

boy had the audacity to say that in front of your salad 

just to tease him, you reply: 

“yeah, senior, just how I like my future boyfriend.” 

with that remark, the smile slips off seongwoo’s face and his jaw clenches

but he tries to play it off all cool😎🤧

you shoot the sweetest smile you can muster before skipping back to your table 

*beep beep*

I nearly put vibrate -

Seongwoo: that doesn’t count as using my favour card! 

your head shakes, but your mouth smiles 

it was no secret that seongwoo had a small! crush on you 

even if it was, everyone knew 

his whole frat and most of his seniors 

your friends and roommates 

the whole bloody campus 

this relationship started out with seongwoo following you on ig

then occasionally dropping a text and wishing you well 

he also hyped up all your pics 

and said hi whenever you bumped into each other 

it escalated to meeting up for brunch or a movie 

just...as friends, casually 

but you enjoyed his company and goofing around much more than some blind dates 

now, texting him was a regular 

going out was common 

and you haven’t even counted the number of times you guys met at social events 

sometimes, he made you feel so✨ special, precious, wanted by doing the smallest things 

like a tea on your table 

or going the extra mile to cheer you up 

most of the time at the expense of his handsome face 

he was always,,,there

you did find out about his feelings, though he never addressed them fully

it was fun!! to press his buttons as a friend 

“yeah idk abt dating someone younger. Wbu?” 

“Hmm. Senior year makes everyone 10x hotter.” 

thOSE WERE JOKES 

BANTER, PEOPLE, BANTER 

but...you weren’t certain if that would turn into something more 

you know, you hadn’t given dating someone younger a thought 

it never crossed your mind 

maybe it was a subconscious deal breaker 

you were always quick to bring age into making deals 

old broken deals could be made new 

the concept was incredibly foreign 

my boyfriend? younger? 

Personally, you could never see that happen 

b-but seongwoo made you sO DAMN HAPPY ALL THE TIME 

there was sunshine in his smiles

and starlight in his eyes 

ᵕ꒳ᵕ

uGh fEELINGS 

but is this attraction? 

Eventually, after many sleepless nights, up thinking about this, you made up your mind

If he made a move first, 

bc ur scared 

you would be hella open to dating him 

f*ck that ‘older people only’ rule 

(⁄˘⁄ ⁄ ω⁄ ⁄ ˘⁄)♡

[3.06am] seongwoo leaves a voicemail. He says, “hey, will you go on a date with me? I like you.”

[3.14am] seongwoo leaves another voicemail. “I’ll use my favour card if I have to. Just give me a chance.” 

anD HOLY F*CK YOU DON’T knOW HOW TO ACT AFTER HEARING THOSE 

RIGHT WHEN YOU WAKE UP 

yOur heaRT IS FLUTTERING AND YOU CAN FEEL THE BLUSH COMING 

UGH SWEETHEART YOU GOT IT BAD 

so u jump on this bandwagon and call him asap 

it goes straight to voicemail but you don’t leave one 

hehe

you know,,,to build suspense 

all day long, that’s all you can think about 

SeoNGWOO LIKES ME?

~

[8.17am] seongwoo wakes up to a silent voicemail from you 

he doesn’t know what to think of it 

he dials your number with shaking hands and before you can utter a word, he rushes, “meet me at xxx cafe at 11am” 

then hangs up 

Tumblr: 101 cafe date outfit ideas

Seongwoo arrives early and orders a drink while waiting 

he also picks out a window booth to sit at 

his nerves could eat him alive if they teamed up 

what would you say to him? 

how badly did you react to his 3am confession 

getting mildly intoxicated on Daniel’s stash was a horrible idea

he spilt all his secret uwus

the bell chimes 

and all his attention is focused on you 

your eyes land on him 

a smile graces your face as you walk over 

“I like you too.” 

“Damn, you better not be messing with me right now,” seongwoo nervously chuckles. “I know I sent you th-“ 

“Oh my god! I like you!” 

For a moment, his smart mouth runs dry, surprised 

“Oh wow, what happened to your older guys only rule?”

You smack his chest in mock annoyance

“Rules are made to be broken! Let’s not talk about that.” You turn various shades of red 

Grinning like the Chesire cat, Seongwoo teases, “And that’s the beauty of it.” 

[robogreaser]

It’s been something of an incredibly rough few weeks on my end.

I come into write this post and realize Im going to need to break it down and draw it out significantly to make it make sense, considering I’ve been skimming on the details when talking to people close to me. I keep meaning to do a write up. It’s easier to hand a person a link instead of trying to condense a heap of nonsense into a sentence.

So here it goes. This is what I’ve been dealing with lately.

I’ve... had trouble figuring out where to start. I’ve sat on this post for about an hour now, so I suppose I need some sort of methodology to sort this all out. Okay... lets start from least consequential to most.

For a  while I’ve been dealing with some medical nonsense. It’s mostly minor, but I’ve had a  series of dental procedures to get a series of tooth issues resolved. I  need to get a root canal still, but money is tight  and I still owe my dentist a little over $200 still. On top of dental, I’ve also been working on making sense of my depression/anxiety/ADHD (officially diagnosed now) and have been cycling a bit through meds and dosage changes.

Bloodwork was recently done to see if I had hypothyroid issues. Nope. In the clear. Not even pre-diabetic. Need to work on triglycerides a little bit though. Otherwise mostly okay.

Work has come to a grinding halt in the post-mothers day rush. Income is somewhat dried up outside of small commission related things I’m working on here and there. Thank god I can leave money in paypal indefinitely and move it to the bank when emergencies strike. It’s been my only saving grace financially the past few weeks.

The shower door was broken recently. I don’t know all the details because I was out running errands at the time, but I’m still finding glass in the shower a week later. We’ve had to procure a curtain until I get the few hundred bucks to replace the thing. Needless to say showering has been a damned bit more difficult than usual. On top of that there’s still the hole in the ceiling that’s been there since around Christmas that’s steadily getting worse. The light is deteriorating, the sink is chipped, and... yeah. Despite all my efforts, getting any help from my family in getting a truck to transport the drywall needed to fix it is turning up... zero. So yeah. Bathroom renovations are a mess at the moment. It makes showering and various other hygiene things difficult, but I'm managing.

Part of the reason there’s been such a delay on the bathroom as well is the fact I’ve been tending to other renovation projects. For my uncle. A few towns away. He was diagnosed with cancer late last year and I thought I could do some good and help him with several home projects before his daughter moved across country this summer to live with him. It spiraled out of control. It turned into me dumping money and time and energy and all sorts of effort into renovating a small, nicotine stained house with little help aside from my partner @ironoverwine​ and the occasional assistance from my grandparents. It... has not gone well.

My cousin has moved back in the past week or two. Ever since I’ve been going full boar with the reno work, daily for over a week, making her a damned nice bedroom out of a mediocre  hellhole and her son one too while I was at it. I‘ve cleaned the house. I’ve painted. I’ve torn out wallpaper. I’ve done impossibly complicated amounts of millwork installation. This is not me tooting my own horn here either. There has been a lot of work. And a lot of money. I’ve wracked up damned near $2k in credit card debt for the material and the traveling, probably much more.

And I’m not getting paid for this. In fact, I’ve recieved nothing but ire and callous cold shoulders for it. The sheer lack of a ‘thank you’ is getting to me. The expectancy for me to continue in spite of the lack of pay or gratitude or decency is... infuriating.

I suppose there’s a point where I need to take a break and segue into something more positive in terms of news. Nope. This ties to perfectly into the next round of fuckery going on recently.

Though I’m sure some people who follow me/read this are aware, I tend to keep relatively quiet (or try to) about how I’ve been taking care of my grandparents the last several months. I have been off and on since I was in school, but the past few years (minus the spell I spent in Oklahoma [god that was a mess] last year) it’s become more and more of a full time affair. Lately its been money and health issues dialed up and up... I’ve taken to managing finances and updating their banking info, keeping an eye on things and fending off phishing scams here and there. My grandmother had a heap of credit card debt because of a shitty doctor conning her a few years back.

Im trying to fix it. I’m trying to make sense of things for them because they have so damned little as it is and I am at least smart enough with money to allow them to start saving up money in the case of an emergency. For the first time in her life my grandmother has a proper savings account and money put away. She’s 79. (more on her specifically later.) I am an authorized user on her credit cards in order to help monitor and pay her bills, and also because piggybacking off of her credit history had helped me immensely with credit score ratings and whatnot. I mean, it’s not every day you can tell a credit firm you have thirty years of credit history.

Well, unfortunately, though I managed to reduce her debt by a significant amount, my mother decided to get involved.

Though I had used the credit to work on my uncle (her son’s) house and though she was aware of it, my mother convinced her, my grandmother, that I was ‘stealing’ money from her, via her credit cards. Despite me actually paying her bills. Despite me allowing her to cultivate savings for the first time in her life. Despite me clearing multiple cards for her for the first time in years and tackling intrest and keeping her from slipping into the red over and over and over...

She was convinced I was stealing from her. My mother convinced her of this and then convinced her to cancel out and close all of her accounts. Even though I was taking care of everything, my grandmother shuttered all but one (inconsequential) credit line she had. With $5k still owed to these companies.

My credit score has tanked. At least 150 points. For you youngins not in the know, that’s fucking awful. My grandmother is somewhat unscathed (though she did have near perfect credit and a long history of it) despite all this but... but me? I’ve only been building credit for two or three years now. I was barely doing well before this. My credit score has tanked hard and will continue to get worse. I won’t be able to get into an apartment or find a car at this rate...

Which leads me to more recent news. I tried to get a loan before the credit bureaus changed my score, some way to circumvent the fallout and get enough money to consolidate my debt and tuck some cash away into savings for an apartment or a car in the near future. It was denied. On multiple fronts. Because of what my mother did.

I am in something close to financial ruin, or at least the worst I’ve been in until now. Debt is climbing. I’m not going to be able to get any sort of loan for any sort of adult purposes for what is going to end up being years at this rate. This is exactly what happened that prevented me from going to college. My mother has ruined my finances to spite me and make me wholly dependent on my family.

I’m 25. There’s no damned escape. Though I planned to move out and get an apartment sometime early this summer, it’s near impossible at this rate because of what’s happened to my finances from this one incredibly underhanded move.

But it doesn’t stop there. No. It couldn’t.

This past week has been dominated by one major thing: My grandmother’s fall.

Despite me telling her to do precisely the opposite, my grandmother used a step stool on Monday, got up on the counter to clean something, and ended up falling on her back. I was at the doctor for aforementioned bloodwork at the time, and found out on my way home. She ended up being ambulanced out before I got home and... it’s been a whole ordeal since. I’ve had to travel extensively to visit her everyday since (twice yesterday) and... she’s been transported to a physical rehabilitation facility in order to get her back up on her feet and walking again. There was extensive internal bruising and her arthritis has advanced significantly in her back. Her hips are out of alignment. Her muscles have atrophied...

I’ve been taking my grandfather up their daily to see her and make sure she’s getting the care and rehabilitation she needs. It’s been tough. It’s been taking away a good half of my day for a week now. The other half has been flooded with errands and extensive housework.

I...

I don’t know when this is going to let up. Even despite my medications, there’s been significant flare ups in my depressive episodes because of all of this. I’ve been strategically offline in order to allow myself some time to ‘rest’ at night as best I can. But... I don’t know when I’m going to get back up on my feet in regards to all of this. I’m pouring all of my time and energy into... this nonsense.

There’s debt. There’s chores. There’s the elderly. There’s my mother. And through it all, I am trying. I really am. I am trying so damned hard to make progress with my nonsense.

Im tired. And Im tired of being tired.

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #153 - Hail, Caesar!

Spoilers below.

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: Yes.

Was it a movie I saw since August 22nd, 2009: Yes. #408.

Format: Blu-ray

1) At the very beginning of this film - before anything else - we are introduced to Josh Brolin as Eddie Mannix.

And his very first line?

Eddie: “Bless my father for I have sinned. It has been four hours since my last confession.”

Eddie is a man who is always in conflict with time it seems. It is this conflict - with time, with himself - which defines his character. The visual motif of him checking the watch is a constant. He’s late for dinner, he goes to confessional as often as he can because he doesn’t KNOW if he’ll have the time later. But more than that there’s the conflict with the slow march of time. He is weighing this offer from an aviation company involved in the h-bomb, something which feels like the future. He questions the timeliness of his job, if films will be relevant in the future or if they’ve had their day. Everything Eddie does in the film is marked by the conflict of time (over scheduling, double booking, time moving forward, being late) and it is that idea which carries him through the end of the film. Josh Brolin is great in the part, being able to express Eddie’s conflict in a way which isn’t cloying or obvious. You see he’s dealing with an internal conflict but he never says it much. He never says, “there’s never enough time,” his performance just convinces us - the audience - of that truth. A great part for a great actor.

2) There are a few things that happen in this film which make me uncomfortable (the earliest of which is Mannix telling an actress how the studio owns the right’s to her likeness and slaps her around for breaching this contract), but I think they’re supposed to. 50′s Hollywood wasn’t exactly the most progressive of places. While simultaneously this is obviously a romanticized version of 50′s Hollywood, so there was a conscious decision to leave that as it was. So I don’t know how to feel about it in the film. I just know I’m uncomfortable at times.

3) Alden Ehrenreich as Hobie Doyle.

Ehrenreich (our new Han Solo) steals every single scene he’s in. As Hobie he shows off this incredible heart and sincerity while still being an idiot. You never dislike Hobie, you’re never annoyed with him even if he can be a bit of a dunce. He honestly wants to do a good job and puts in the work to do so. He has no ego, he takes direction well, he’s pretty much the reverse of your stereotypical Hollywood star. He’s a nice guy who just cares about doing a good job and you love him for that. And god if Ehrenreich doesn’t just breathe such life and warmth into Hobie. It’s a star making performance and considering he IS Han Solo in the upcoming film, it seems to have done just that. Made a star.

4) George Clooney as Baird Whitlock.

This is a film who’s strongest aspect is the performances it features, and Clooney is no exception. Believe it or not, the role of Baird Whitlock feels more like a juicy supporting role than the lead (with Josh Brolin being the lead) but that doesn’t mean Clooney’s phoning it in. He is fun as an idiot and a person who is - honestly - a total phony. He changes his attitudes and beliefs to match whatever environment he’s in. He thinks what the studio wants him to think, he later thinks what the communists want him to think. He just goes with whatever is expected of him/easiest to go along with, and that makes for some funny scenes to watch.

5) Holy shit, the meeting of the religious leaders.

There are so many brilliant quotes and bits of humor in this scene I couldn’t even begin to quote just the best lines. The entire scene is amazing and shows off the Coen brothers’ penchant for strange/witty comedy. It’s a laugh riot through fast pacing and unique character established in not much time at all but still consistent. It’s just a truly hysterical scene (with a particular shoutout to the actor playing the Rabbi).

6) One of this film’s most unique features can also be seen as it’s biggest flaw, and that is the devotion to extended scenes paying homage to classic Hollywood cinema. It helps make the movie a love letter to that era, but also slows down the pacing with fun/entertaining scenes which don’t necessarily service the main plot. They don’t ruin the movie even a little bit, it’s just easy to be distracted or zone out by them.

7) Scarlett Johansson is a lot of fun in this film, even though I believe she only has two scenes.

I like Johansson’s performance when she takes on more comedic roles, and Hail, Caesar! allows her to do just that. Through her thick Jersey accent she is established quickly as abrasive but fascinating to watch. She’s got a big mouth but that’s not a bad thing. I don’t think there’s a character in this film who is played to be dislike; they’re all human and you understand that. You like them all, and Johansson’s DeAnn is no exception.

8) Love this line.

Eddie [about DeAnn’s ex husbands]: “One of those was a minor mob figure.”

DeAnn: “Vince was not minor!”

9) Another scene which perfectly showcases the Coen brothers’ taste and mastery of certain comedy is the scene between Ralph Fiennes’ Laurence Laurentz and Hobie while the former is trying to direct the later.

I don’t even know what to say about this scene other than Fiennes and Ehrenreich play off each other brilliantly for maybe the funniest and most memorable scene in the whole picture.

10) Let’s consider this room full of communists for a second:

So a bunch of well off successful white guys feel like they’re not getting enough, feel marginalized, and so think Communism is the way because it’ll raise them (again, a bunch of white dudes) up.

11) Tilda Swinton in the dual roles of Thora and Theslie, two twins who write their own separate news columns.

The pair are a nice representation of both sides of the news media: the side that takes itself oh so seriously and thinks it’s above everything else against the side that is media and needs to hold the interest of the public to survive. They need each other to exist but often times one will dismiss the existence of the other. Swinton is fun in the parts, but there’s not too much of her in the film. But like every other cast member, she doesn’t phone anything in. She devotes herself to each part totally and is able to make the sisters unique while still related. It’s a fun performance to watch (and she nails the American accent).

12) So Hobie is actually smarter than people give him credit for.

Hobie [after hearing Baird has been kidnapped]: “I would look at the extras.”

Eddie: “The extras? Why?”

Hobie: “Well you just never know with an extra. They come and go. Everyone else, I’m on the set, I see the guy setting up the 5K, I think, ‘Why there’s old Buck setting up the 5K.’ Script girl, wrangler, same thing. Extras, that’s different. Not making a blanket call here. I mean, there’s good extras and bad extras. All I’m saying, you look at an extra, you got no idea what he’s thinking.”

This is not some, “Oh, extras! They’re so awful! They’re always ruining my amazing shot!” He makes that clear he doesn’t think less of extras, he’s just made an observation about the situation he works in which is wildly helpful to Eddie and the film. Have I mentioned I love Hobie?

13) “No Dames”, otherwise known as the most homoerotic scene you can find in this film.

The bar is called “The Swingin’ Dingy”

Burt says (in regards to not seeing any women), “Can you beat it?”

Despite the lyrics, the song becomes a happy dance between a bunch of guys at the prospect of not seeing any women for months.

Burt holds a guy’s crotch up to his mouth with a smile.

Burt gets caught grinding between two sailors dancing only for the bartender to exclaim, “This ain’t that kind of place.”

And I’m never uncomfortable watching it, not even a little. I just find it wonderfully random that the Coen brothers are actually deciding to acknowledge gay culture in 50′s Hollywood through this film in at least some small way. And it leads to a truly fun scene in the film.

14) Once you learn Burt is a communist, it makes so much sense that he wants to give the bartender more focus to even the playing field. He is the IDEA of communism, while the privileged white dudes bitching about not getting paid enough despite having nice houses in LA are closer to the reality.

15) Frances McDormand has a brief but memorable scene in this film as editor CC Calhoun.

The fact that the film decides to have a woman in a position of importance in the 1950s is actually pretty accurate. Mainly because back then editing was NOT seen as a position of importance. It was seen akin to sewing in that it didn’t really matter it just needed doing, so there ere a lot of female editors. That’s also why CC has such a shitty office. The studio doesn’t really care about the editors. Now (even though there are still jokes and such at the expense of editors) Hollywood has a better idea of how important an editor’s job is.

16) What a perfectly good waste of Alison Pill.

Alison Pill is one of the best characters out there today, giving stand out performances in Scott Pilgrim VS The World, Midnight in Paris, Snowpiercer, and “The Newsroom” among others. And in this film she has one scene as Eddie’s wife who is very much a doting 50s housewife. This line actually comes out of her mouth:

Mrs. Mannix: “But what do you think honey? You know best.”

A part of me hopes there are deleted scenes which devote more time to Pill’s character, make her more than just that one line (because that one line perfectly represents who she is as a “character”). Honestly if I have one big issue with this film it is the waste of Alison Pill.

17) Jonah Hill is another big actor who has only one scene in the film, but at least unlike Pill he’s not wasted. He is able to portray a dryer, more subtle type of strange humor than usual. And the Academy Award nominated actor does so brilliantly. In a short amount of time it stands out on his resumé specifically because it is so against Hill’s standard “type”.

Probably the best part is that DeAnn makes eyes at him. We learned earlier that she doesn’t want to get married because the men turned out to be louses. Then she meets this guy, who is literally described as the most reliable human being ever, and it is a massive turn on for her.

I like that it ties so directly into her character.

18) Earlier in the film the communists said they slipped communist themes and messages into Hollywood films. Well it seems that is the case for Hail, Caesar! (the film which gives this film it’s title) as well.

Baird’s Character [antagonistically]: “Romans before slaves! Romans before slave!”

Baird’s Character [upon redemption]: “This man was giving water to all. He saw no Roman, he saw no slave.”

While these aren’t exclusively communist ideas and not on their own negative ideas, they definitely play into the communist belief. And the flaw with communism is that it expects to raise "slaves” to the same level as “Romans” when in reality it makes everyone slaves.

19) Hobie and Carlotta have a fun chemistry.

I think this is largely because they’re both treating each other with respect. They’re not grumpy that they’re forced to be with each other at the studio, they’re not looking at the other as just a sex object, they both admire the other’s work and from that mutual respect they are able to play well with each other. I don’t think I’ve ever shipped two characters who have spent such little screen time together.

20) In keeping with the Coen brothers’ strange/surreal/well done humor born from a slower pacing, the entire extended sequence where Burt boards the sub after the communists row him out there is fun (if slow).

Although I don’t know if sacrificing the money for the dog is meant to be a commentary on communism, capitalism, or just a fun twist on the scene.

21) I always felt the studio represented capitalism, but Eddie shouting at Baird to do his job because everyone has their job to do...I don’t know, that feels sort of communist-y. Maybe I’m overthinking it, but this line always stuck out to me.

Eddie [to Baird]: “You’re going to do that because the picture has worth and you have worth when you serve the picture.”

Yeah, I’m probably overthinking it.

Hail, Caesar! may not be the best silly Coen brothers’ film (*cough*Big Lebowski*cough*) but it’s not even close to a bad film by any means. It’s fun and funny, featuring the filmmakers’ signature sense of weirdness and comedy. The acting is excellent (with a particular shout out to Alden Ehrenreich) and while the extended film-within-the-film scenes CAN dog down pacing they’re still entertaining to watch. All in all it is a well made, funny, enjoyable film that is worth your time if you decide to see it.

[wellickwrites-blog]

rough inspo bios:

baby calhoun:

so this is baby. obviously baby isn’t her name, but that’s what her family calls her so that’s what she answers to. and introduces herself as. ok so baby’s family is rich as sin and her father runs some kind of car company?? he’s always been very clear that baby’s brothers were gonna take it over when they grew up but baby was Insistent on pushing in so like, she read up all about cars and learned how to fix her own but it wasn’t enough. because her dad literally could not give a shit. her family just left her to do her thing w her mum?? because they were like ‘the women of the house’ and fixing cars was like a shitty manly bonding activity. but because she wasn’t like, prissy and pretty and wanted to be like her brothers, her mum pretty much despised her leaving her w this massive inferiority complex. Also bc she didn’t take to any of the things her mum tried to push her into?? Like piano and ballet and fencing she was like ‘I hate all of this’ and so, her mum just gave up on her pretty quickly and decided she didn’t have any talent whatsoever. which is true, she hasn’t really found her niche. she pretty much hates being left out of things because her family did this to her her whole life. so she gravitates toward her half-sister (who was the product of an affair) bc they’re Both outcasts.

her sister (sharon) is basically a buyer? she procures old furniture and bits of art and stuff? and baby basically does all the numbers, balances all the books, goes w sharon to pick up old bits of furniture and pieces of art from auctions? so really numbers are her thing! she likes numbers and it’s nerdy and cute. she’s so tiny but mighty like she gets to auctions and everyone is like, ok we’ll walk all over her but she’s using dad���s credit card to outbid you. her parents r getting really tired of it all tho and keep trying to set her up on dates and get her interested in boys and she’s like,,, do I have time I’m running a Business since you’re never going to let me help w yours? they pretty much just want her to get a boyfriend so they don’t have to deal with her anymore and to pull her away from sharon. i’m p sure no one has ever believed in her her entire life. i’m also p sure I’m gonna steal ve///ronica lod///ge’s ‘my dad is in prison’ plot for her @ some point

hayley kinney:

(depression cw) okay so hayley??? hayley is basically another water baby and the sweetest of the sweet. like not to be that person but hayley kinney has probably only done like three things wrong in her life. she’s pure. i’ll start w backstory but basically hayley has always suffered from depression? it’s not debilitating but basically she never really put herself out there and found it quite hard to make friends? so when she started high school she started seeing this boy and like that helped a lot?? and it was all rlly good and sweet at first but he had his gang of like, teenage jackass friends and he was totally nasty and a different person around them? and more often than not it became so hayley sat around watching them play video games? and she kinda befriended one of the other guy’s girlfriends bc this girl was in the same predicament and lmao basically hayley and this girl started seeing each other behind their boyfriend’s backs and hence THE ONE BAD THING HAYLEY HAS DONE IN HER LIFE. and long story short her boyfriend found out and a lot of bad stuff got spread about her at school and this girl broke up with her and it led to hayley changing schools a lot. 

but ANYWAY hayley never really had friends and she was always a bit weird and whimsical anyway and people found her quite hard to take? but she’s genuinely a sweet girl if you take the time to get to know her. she just really likes swimming and the beach !! she goes fishing a lot but she catches the fish and she throws them back because she’s that person. and she also loves kids, probably because she’s a big kid herself and is the kind of person who’d go see a kids movie over like, a hard hitting action film or a romcom. 

but basically she became a midwife because this was like, her one good thing!! bringing babies into the world!! she just loves seeing all the happy mums and expectant dads and she always tries to find out the baby’s first and middle names and she’ll go home to see owen like ‘DELILAH JANE CAME INTO THE WORLD TODAY’. but like, a couple of months back she basically got really bad with her depression and took a leave from the hospital? and she probably tries to help with her dad but he’s her Dad so she doesn’t really know how to take care of him because he’s always been the one taking care of her? so instead she got this little part time volunteer job at the museum of conspiracy theories and alien shenanigans handing out maps and information. SO YEP. that’s hayley.

flora kotova:

(sexual assault cw) ‘kay so FLORA. flora is conrad’s best friend and a npc i’m bringing to life because danni was kind enough to let me. she’s a fourth generation acrobat which meant she was pretty much destined to go into the circus because every single member of her family did. which is fine cos when you grow up in a circus family it’s kind of All You Know and you love it. so she’s been training from a young age and it’s taken a toll on her physically because acrobats are kind of skinny and slender and don’t rlly develop properly? so she’s pretty flat chested etc etc. but yeah, she was in the same circus as conrad and her act was aerial silk? and she was so fucking good and so talented and she just, loved it. on the side she learned how to read palms and play with tarot cards and give readings that were False As Hell in every single way. and she played into rumours that she was a witch because she thought it was funny. but yeah, basically she was really happy at the circus up until one of the guys there started flirting with her and coming onto her and she was just? made very uncomfortable? she kept rejecting his advances but he didn’t take no for an answer and she was sexually assaulted by him. she ended up confiding in conrad and the two left together, so now obvs she’s dead shaken and doesn’t really trust anyone other than him? but really she does have a lot of attitude and a lot of optimism? like whenever she goes to a dark place she gives herself little pep talks and she’s like ‘i can do this, i can always do this!’ and it’s really how she gets through life. and for that i love her. but yeah, she’s very much dark lipstick and tons of jewellery, like tons of rings and bracelets and necklaces layered over necklaces  i imagine now that they’re at messina she’s always rigging up aerial silks in their living room and conrad is like this is not Proper Apparatus you are going to Kill Yourself and also Die and she’s just, straight up dangling from the ceiling. but ya??? i’m actually super attached to her whoa

tbd: chandler york, elena delgado, jasmine ducasse, cora kelly

[mayalaen]

I don't know if this is inappropriate, and if it is, then just ignore me. I was wondering, how did you get started with your business? Is it difficult work? Is it better than working for someone else? Pros and cons? How much did you need to start up? I'm thinking of starting a business and I'm looking for someone to tell me the real shit that goes on and not "Oh, it's great" or "It's easy" Or "It's or this or this." Any help would be appreciated! Thanks. :)

Feel free to ask questions any time :)

I’ll try to answer this with facts and reasonableness instead of flapping my arms and screaming “It’s really haaaaaaard! Run before you get yourself into this!” :D

The way I got started is really shitty. Don’t start like me. My family and I decided to open a business with a tattoo artist. It was with the understanding he would help us learn the tattoo industry and that he would manage the tattoo artists while we ran the retail side of things. He ended up screwing us out of $80,000 and running away across the country only three months after we opened. Going into business with another person is extremely risky, and I wouldn’t do it again.

Startup costs are very high. You need to assume you won’t be “in the black” (making more than you’re spending) for the first five years your business is running.

more under the cut

I lucked out on this one because I was in the black within six months – only because I hired tattoo artists who rented rooms from me, so even during slow times I could get anywhere from $2500-$6000 from them a month. Other businesses don’t have that.

In the black doesn’t mean you’ve made back everything you put out initially. It just means on a month-to-month basis you’re bringing in more than you’re putting out.

You need a business license, your store’s name needs to be registered (and can’t be the same as any other business), there are permits, and lots of other things revolving around getting the space you need. All of those things I just mentioned cost money. The registration for the name alone is anywhere between $250 and $450. You’ll need to pay a business real estate agent to broker the deal, and he’ll take a percentage for his commission.

Most building owners will offer six months free rent if you sign a 5-year lease (I’m not sure about what they do for shorter leases), and then they’ll give you tenant improvement money. Tenant improvement money is what you use to make the space your own. Don’t consider it income because you WILL spend it on construction. Every year the rent will go up unless you have it specified as fixed in your lease contract. Most leases will NOT include this clause and your rent WILL increase.

Once in the space, you’ll be paying for utilities (which are more expensive than a home or apartment), rent, taxes, insurance (on the building itself, the items in your store, and for the people in your store), and any improvements you want to make beyond the initial tenant improvement.

My rent and utilities here are about $4500 a month, and that doesn’t include the cost of my products, taxes, insurance, or improvements. That’s JUST my running costs. Taxes vary greatly from one state to another, and insurance rates can be extremely high, especially if you have employees. My guys are considered renters/independent contractors in my store, so I don’t have to cover them beyond accident insurance.

Then you have to fill your store with something. We spent about $60,000 initially on products, and after the tattoo artist left us, we found out that all the product he had us get was shit (he thought he knew a lot, but he didn’t even though he’d been in the business for 20 years), so we ended up selling it for cost or below just to get it out of the store. Oh, and the $80,000 he took from us didn’t include the $60,000 in shitty products.

Right now I have about $100,000 of product in my store. It has taken me years to get to this point, and I still don’t even carry everything I’d like to carry.

Owning your own business means you’re working 24/7. You’re on call and it’s on your mind all the time. You don’t get to clock out and walk away carefree at the end of the day. You don’t get insurance (which is super hard to get when you’re self-employed and it’s out-of-pocket), and if anything goes wrong there’s a good chance you’ll have to pay for it out of your own pocket, no matter how much insurance you have on the building and your products.

You’ll need some type of cash register/inventory system. There are cheaper ways of doing this if you only have a few products, but I’m currently switching from an older version (which cost me $5000 initially) to a new system that is going to cost $540 a month plus startup fees and training that costs $1000. I have over 2000 different products in my store, so a small system isn’t an option for me. Someone who sells 5-50 items can get away with just a plain cash register and a merchant services account.

If you want to take credit cards, the merchant services will need to hook you up with this. The fees are anywhere from 1.9% to 3.9% plus a monthly subscription and also something like $0.10 per transaction. If you don’t go through a reputable company, you’ll be liable for any fake credit cards you run. I’d suggest renting your cash register/inventory system because then they have to keep you up to date with new tech and if something breaks down they have to replace it for you. Otherwise you have to pay out of pocket for everything and you’ll have down time while you wait for it to come in.

If your business doesn’t need a physical store somewhere, you’ll be cutting out a lot of the hassle and cost I’ve listed above. However, you have difficulties because suppliers won’t take you seriously and you run into legal problems selling things out of your home.

If you want to have an online presence too, you’ll need web hosting, registering your domain, and someone to build and maintain the site. I do all my own building and maintaining, and I still spend about $200-$300 a year on hosting and registrations.

If you want to dip your toe in this whole thing without renting yet, I’d suggest selling on Amazon or Esty first. They’ll charge you fees, but they’re not that bad, and if you promote and advertise yourself, you’ll begin to see what working for yourself is like.

I never get a day off. This work is REALLY hard. I have to deal with my guys all the time, and if I decide one day to hire a cashier or someone for the front desk, I’ll have to deal with watching them too.

People are awful and will screw you over any chance they get. A security system with cameras is a must, and you have to keep your ears open, eavesdropping on your employees every chance you get to make sure they’re not stealing or skimming. My security system was $500 for the cameras and DVR, plus the costs of a monthly service.

You might think it’s hard working for somebody else, but once you work for yourself, you realize why employers have to act the way they do. It’s sad, but true. Nobody is going to work as hard as you do for yourself. Everyone will try to take advantage of you. You might think people like you and are honest, but they’ll sell you out so quickly it’ll make your head spin, and it’s better to be a boss known as a tightwad or kinda bitchy than it is to get walked all over. If you don’t keep on top of them, employees won’t even treat your customers well, and you’ll lose a lot of business.

Employees have no idea how much they cost an employer beyond their hourly wages.

You also need to worry about your business banking accounts and credit cards. Buying product for your store from multiple places exposes your card, and in the last three months I’ve had to get a new credit card 4 times due to it being compromised (I wasn’t liable for the fraudulent purchases). I use PayPal or direct deposit as much as I can, yet it still happens very often.

Oh, and you also have to get “in” with distributors. My family and I call everyone we want to buy products from and keep pestering them until they let us sell their products. It took us almost 3 years to convince one of the ink companies to let us sell their product. Another place 6 months. Another one a year and a half.

In the meantime I sold their products at cost just so people would realize I had those products and come to my shop instead of someone else’s. The ink company I waited 3 years for? I bought their ink for $10.35 a bottle (shipping included) from another company, then sold it for $10.50 for 3 years. Now I’m able to buy it directly from the company for $5 a bottle, and my profit margin is totally awesome, and I was able to lower my price to $8.75, which means the customers will come here instead of my competitors! It was worth it to keep pestering the company :)

All in all, I’m extremely proud of what I’ve built. I don’t have to answer to anyone, and my hard work pays off. If you’re looking to work less than you are now, then running your own business is not what you’re looking for.If you’re a very hard worker, smart, and willing to deal with the shit you’ll get from everyone, then maybe this is what you want to do. If you’re a take-charge person who chafes under management because you are faster, do more, and work harder than everyone around you, this might be for you.

Don’t assume you need confidence to run your own business. I found this out very quickly. I wasn’t a very confident person, and I surprised myself and my family when the store opened because I just became this very confident person. I learned the industry quickly and I was good at it, which made me feel confident. Now the guys at the shop don’t even believe me when I say I’m quiet, shy, and not confident.

My family has owned their own businesses for a long time – my dad nearly 55 years, my mom never has worked for anyone else, my uncle for 25 years, etc. They all have been through the ups and downs. I’m new to owning my own business. I worked in the medical field from the age of 12 to 31, so it was a crash course in business. My family helped me a lot with the business, and we still all help each other. If I could go back to what I was doing before and get paid the same as I did before they outsourced their work, I’d do it, because it’s so much less stress. However, I’m very proud of what I‘ve built :)

I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do, and if you have more questions, please feel free to ask.

[canaryatlaw]

alright, it’s late and I’m tired so let’s do this thing. I woke up originally at 8:30 am because one of my aunt’s dogs likes to sleep under the bed I’m staying in and she was making noise, so I tried to get her to get out of the room but she wouldn’t, so I went to the bathroom and left the bedroom door open and then she left. I went back to sleep and was woken up again at like 12 by my mom asking if I wanted an egg sandwich, to which I said sure, and asked what time it was, she said around noon and I was like you know you could wake me up right....and she was like “yeah, that’s what I’m doing now” lol okay then. I got dressed and everything and had an egg sandwich which was pretty good despite me not really liking whole wheat bread (traumatic childhood memories, okay). So the plan for the day was essentially to go to the mall and for me, my sister, and girl cousin to get our nails done. so there was planning and going back and forth, and we eventually decided we’d go to the mall and go to this japanese place for lunch (despite the fact that I’d just eaten, but by the time we actually got there it was like 3) that was at the mall and then go to the nail place in the mall and go from there. So we got to the mall just as it started down pouring, I let my sister and cousin use my umbrella because I had my jacket with me that had a hood, so that helped somewhat. The place was basically sushi and some other japanese food options, I opted for one of their daily special sushi rolls which had like, shrimp tempura, mango, rare strip steak, all wrapped in rice, seaweed, and then rice paper, and served with a mango sauce, and it was really good! I was a bit concerned I maybe hadn’t ordered enough but I was still somewhat full from earlier so it was all good. When we finished I went with my sister and cousin to find the nail place. My sister already had her set of fake nails but had lost one or two, so she was gonna get those filled and in and go for other color, and my cousin was getting fake nails done. I opted for just a gel manicure because I did fake nails exactly once and they drove me up the fucking wall so I’m not doing that again, lol. My nails did have some polish on them already because I did them last week to match my toes (since I’ve been wearing sandals) with this dark purple color, but since I was changing this I decided to go with a really intense pink instead, so they’d look good together (or that was the idea at least). It was pretty standard, it’s been a while since I got a full manicure because I pretty much only do it when I’m with my sister and she wants to go. The real gel nail polish with the blue light and everything obviously works a lot better than the dupe gel knock offs you can get at the store that don’t need the light but also comes off a lot easier (though I still buy them because they’re still somewhat better than normal polish) so they look all nice and perfect now so I’m going to do my best to keep them that way. I was finished first but the girls finished not too long after me, so we left and then went to try to find this tattoo/piercing place because my sister wanted to get another hole on her ear. We stopped by pac sun quickly which was interesting, and the forever 21 at which I had to restrain myself from buying a bunch of floral dresses from the buy one get one free section because they are totally my weakness but I already own SO MANY of them. But I was successful in restraining myself, so that was good. We got to the tattoo/piercing place, they’re the same company but split into two stores right next to each other, so we were in the piercing part. Originally they were just gonna go to like Claire’s or one of the grody piercing stands in the mall but I was like noooo, those are crappy you need to go to a tattoo place, so we did. While they were getting everything sorted out I was looking around at different options for my various piercings and what would fit for me, I ended up getting a cute pair of normal earrings that are lightning bolts, and an industrial bar with the wonder woman insignia on it, though idk if or when I’ll actually use it, because I’m honestly kinda emotionally attached to my arrow industrial bar, lol, I mean I’ve had it for at least 5 years now without any thought of changing it. There was also a Superman belly button earring I liked but they didn't have it in my size, as was the case with a spiral earring for my tragus piercing. So I bought the two and then hung out for a while with the rest of everybody. The plan from there was that my sister and cousin were gonna go to a party and then sleep over my cousin’s friends house (it was briefly floated that I could join them at the party if I wanted, but they kinda figured I wouldn’t want to go to a party full of 18 and 19 year olds, which was a correct conclusion) so we left the girls and I headed back home with the adults. They had been discussing seeing a movie tonight, and were saying they were gonna see the new mission impossible movie and I was like.......eh.....I  mean how many of basically the same movie can you make that are actually good?? So we went back and forth about a couple different movies and splitting up so we could go to different ones, then I had a great idea and convinced everyone to go see Ant-Man and the Wasp, with my recommendation that they’d all like it, and they all assented to that, because I am really very good at getting what I want, so we bought tickets for the 7:25 showing of that. We were running home first though, and we stopped at the dollar general so we could get cheap movie candy and sneak it in lol, which was of course my aunt’s idea. I got a bag of sour patch watermelon and a box of sugar babies. We went home and fed the dogs as well as eating some of the leftover baked ziti from the other night before heading out to the movies. The theatre was in a pretty nice complex with a bunch of other shops, including a cold stone we’d been to previously, so I managed to casually drop that in to plant the idea of getting some after the movie. We got there slightly before the listed movie time, and I had tall the tickets on my phone so we could go straight through and just swipe it, which worked well. It was one where you had to pick your seats in advance and we couldn’t find 4 in a row, but there was a row where there were two open, and then next to them two taken ones, and then two more open ones, so I took the open ones betting that we could get the people in the two middle seats to switch with us, and once they saw that we were all together they offered to switch, so that worked out nicely. As far as the movie went, I enjoyed it just as much the second time around, they did a really good job of mixing comedy in with the epic superhero story. The little girl who plays Cassie is SOOOOOO cute, I was dying when (spoiler) Scott is running around while giant and you see them watching tv with the mom and stepdad being completely dumbfounded, then the camera pans down to Cassie and she just has the best smirk on her face because she knows EXACTLY what was going on, and it was too damn cute. I might’ve said this before, but I also really like that Scott’s ex-wife and her new husband are totally supportive of him and include him in their family because that’s such a refreshing change of pace from just about every other depiction of such a family. The humor was great, when Scott was running around as a giant my mom could not stop laughing, she thought it was the funniest thing, which made me happy to see because generally she just won’t go to movies unless they have a specific Christian connotation to them, but I thought they would all really like the movie and there really wasn’t anything “inappropriate” (like sexually or whatever) and she really liked it, so I was glad to hear that. I had to somewhat contextualize the mid-credit scene for them because of course none of them had seen infinity war or were at all aware of what happened in that movie, so they had no idea what the characters suddenly turning to dust meant. When we got out we indeed decided to go to cold stone, it was at the other end of the shopping center but we decided to walk there because my dad said he wanted to get more steps in and I was like well I live in a city and walk everywhere so I’m game lol. Just about all the stores we passed were closed (it was like 9:30 on a Friday at this point) but once we got to cold stone the line was pretty much to the door, so we had to wait for a bit. I hadn’t been there in a while, and they had a few new combos regarding their birthday celebration (so made with cake batter ice cream or different types) so instead of getting my usual strawberry order I did their strawberry cake batter one with strawberry wafers, sprinkles and caramel, which was very good but also filling and I couldn’t finish it lol. I had gotten the medium size when I otherwise would’ve gotten a small because they were running a promotion if you came in with a movie ticket from the past 24 hours you could get a buy one get one free deal for a medium size, so I couldn’t finish it lol. Once we got our ice cream we sat out at one of the tables outside and ate, then walked back to the car and drove home. I stayed up on my computer for a bit after stumbling onto a series of legends screen caps with humorous comments added on Reddit, and it was pretty fucking hilarious so I ended up posting a bunch of them on my twitter in a giant thread (with credit attributed to the original creator of course because I’m not a shitty person who would just steal content like that) and I was laughing pretty hard at all of it. but it was getting late so I showered and got ready for bed and then got distracted on my laptop for a while, then started writing this and here we are, and did I mention it’s late because it’s now past 3 am??? Don’t know what the plan for tomorrow is, if it’s somehow nice (the weather forecast predicted rain every single day this week but it’s actually been mostly sunny) we might go back to the beach but there was discussion about not being able to get a parking spot, so we may end up getting lunch at a restaurant on the beach front and see what we want to do from there. Hopefully I can sleep in a little so I’m not totally dead, lol. Alright that’s it for now folks, talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight chicos and chicas. Happy weekend.

[unpopcorned]

.

.

Jonah is pretty smart. 

He graduated high school when he was sixteen, got a full scholarship, and moved out of the bad part of town. Most people think he wastes his intelligence a lot - computers being the new craze, beeper, electronics in general. His mom, bless her heart, nags at him so much, he regrets calling her some times. Sure, he’s good at Physics, and yeah - he has no problem with Economics. And he can tell you that x² + mx + n = 0 ( since m and n are both integers and the only possible value for x would be -3 ) so the value of m would be 6. 

But that’s not the point, the point is - Jonah is damned smart. Right? Right. So he knows not to show up to one of Alex’s parties, right from the beginning. Last time he went to one, he ended up passed out on the couch and missing one of his shoes. Who steals just one shoe, by the way? 

He hears about it though, from William. William, who calls him at four in the morning from a payphone. Jonah answers, of course he does, “Yeah?” 

“Hey, man. Sorry - shit, did I wake you?”

“Nah,” Jonah is almost done with his third energy drink for the night - his heart is going pretty fast. He sets down the can, balances the phone with his shoulder, “How was the party?” 

“Fuckin’ shitty. Cops showed up.” 

“Whoa, for real?” 

“Yeah. And you know Veronica’s boyfriend?” 

“Jacob?”

“Yeah. He’s just as crazy as her, started a fight outside. Jax got caught with Veronica and him, think they’re taking them downtown. I got Casey, so I’m gonna try to take her home,” Jonah hears movement and shuffling in the background, “So, just a heads up, if you get a call from Jax.” 

“Yeah, no problem. Thanks, man.” 

They hang up around the same time. Jonah waits until the sun is up to leave - if Jax is in jail, he’s definitely freaking out. William, Jonah, and Jax are all a package deal, you can’t take one without the other two. Jonah takes the train to downtown, keeps his headphones over his ears to drown out any noise. He only looks up when his destination gets closer - the train lolls to a slow stop, the doors are just about to close again when someone rushes in.

Jonah peels off his headphones, looks surprised, “Veronica?” She’s winded, glances up when Jonah says her name, “You good?”

Turns out, Veronica is in trouble. But then again, Veronica is always in trouble. Jonah hasn’t seen her in awhile, maybe around two months. It’s his own fault, he’s been busy. But he likes Veronica, she’s as tough as nails and he’s never seen her take shit from anyone. Sometimes, she even put Rob in his place. When they get to his place, he helps her clean up, lets her borrow his phone and shower. Not many of his clothes will fit her, but he offers them anyway. 

“I hope Jax is okay,” Jonah comments when Veronica settles on the couch next to him. A bruise is beginning to form along side her face - he’d almost forgotten she’d been attacked before she’d got on the train. He worries a little too much sometimes, “He can drive himself crazy sometimes.” 

Veronica snorts, “He’s fine. Got out before me.” It goes quiet from there, Jonah pulls his laptop back in between his legs, flipping it on. Veronica makes a face from beside him, “What’ve you even been doin’?” 

“Oh,” Jonah sits up straight in his seat, “Doing something for Rob. He might need your help actually...I’ll tell you about it later,” He reaches over, moves aside the paperwork and loose wiring on his coffee table, picks up the bare calculator ( well, it used to be a calculator until Jonah got his hands on it ), “I’ve been working on this credit card reader to use near ATMs, just to see if I can get some numbers off of it. Tested it out once, but it’s on the frizz.” 

“Fuck me,” Veronica takes it from him, flips it over. It doesn’t look like much, he doesn’t expect her to take it very seriously, “This really works?” On the end, there’s an antena, he helps her pull it up.

“I’m trying to fix it--” 

“And you made it?” 

“I mean, yeah--” He can already see the ideas working through her head, her brain really can work a mile a minute. If he considers anyone intelligent, it would definitely be Veronica. Rob comes in at a close second, “I’ll let you borrow it when I fix it up.” 

Veronica opens her mouth to say something, doesn’t get a chance since there’s a knock on the door. Jonah gets up from the couch, leaves her there to look it over. He doesn’t expect anyone special when he opens it - stops short for a second. There’s a guy, maybe an inch or two taller than Jonah. Dark hair, dark eyes, nice face. 

“My bad,” the guy says, “Think I got the wrong place.” He leans around to check the number by the door again. 

“Oh! No, I - uh...who’re you looking for?” Jonah is quick to keep him from leaving. The guy is quiet, stares at him for maybe a second or two, “I could...help you, I mean.” 

“Veronica,” His face changes, looks blank now, “She here?” 

“Oh, right,” Veronica had mentioned that someone would be coming to get her. He forgot pretty quickly, “Yeah, no. She’s here.” He pulls away from the door, just to give the guy more room to get in. There’s hesitation, Jonah raises his eyebrows, “Not gonna bite you or anything, man.”

Probably not the right thing to say, because his eyebrows furrow, a slight frown coming to his face. Right. Lay off, Jonah. Veronica hears them though, lingers by the sitting room entrance, “Hey, Vito.” 

“You ready?” 

Vito. His name was Vito.

Veronica nods, she’s already pulling on her jacket. Tossing the device towards Jonah, she looks at him, “When you gonna fix it up?” 

“Gimme a week.”

“Sure,” Veronica shrugs her shoulders. Then seems to remember, “Oh, yeah. Vito - Jonah. Jonah, this is Vito. Jacob’s cousin.”

Dark eyes glance over at Jonah briefly, but don’t linger. Great, he made the guy uncomfortable. 

“Nice to meet you.” Jonah is always polite, though. Not gonna start being rude now. 

Vito isn’t looking at him anymore, “You, too.”

.

.

“Jonah, you listenin’?” 

“Hm?” Jonah looks up, spots a few sets of eyes on him, “Uh, yeah.” 

Rob looks annoyed, crosses his arms, “What’d I just say?” 

“I don’t know - I wasn’t listening.”

This makes Casey laugh, Jax has to nudge her to make her be quiet. In Rob’s basement there’s Casey, Jax, William, Devin, Mason, and Veronica. Veronica sits on the table, where Rob has everything spread out into sections. She doesn’t look that happy to be here, Rob does though. 

Casey is still giggling under her breath, “Why does it have to be so haaaard, we could just buy it from my uncle.” 

“No,” Rob’s decision is final, Mason snorts from beside him, “Need the real thing.” 

“We should just buy it and ship it,” Devin says, “The shipping is supposed to be the easy part, Rob.”

“Don’t wanna just ship it. If it’s traced back, it needs a name. The money’s gotta be wired, need’a name for that, too,”  Veronica’s voice is quieter than everyone else’s, but they still listen, “Any bright ideas?” 

“I’ll just put it in my professor’s name,” Jonah decides to add in, quite casually at that. Everyone looks at him again, Rob picks up his eyebrows towards him, “I got his name, social security. And his most used credit card data. Me and V followed him the other night to see if the scanner would work.” 

“Need more than that,” William butts in, he’s sitting right next to Jonah, “Oh, please - answer our prayers.” 

“I’ll set up an account in his name. If we push it in the next three days, he won’t know about it. Security checks go every week. I get into the school, download the rest of his information tonight from the school database, and we set it up in the morning,” Jonah grabs his energy drink off the side table, takes a quick swig, “Oh, and I’ll need a ride.” 

Veronica looks interested in the plan, she always seems to back him up first, “Let’s go with that.” 

Rob still looks uncertain, “I don’t know--” 

“Hey, c’mon, man. It’s like we’re a team. The A-Team,” Jax says, “You’re John, William is Templeton, I’m Murdock, and--” He stops, gesturing a hand in Jonah’s direction. Jonah picks up his eyebrows slightly, looks curious, “And Jonah’s Mr. T.” 

“Mr. T,” Jonah repeats. William begins laughing, “’Cause I’m black?” 

“No!” Jax looks surprised at that, “No, man. Because you like milk.”

Either way, with Jonah’s plan, the meeting is over. William nudges his shoulder into Jonah’s, grinning at him, “Good job.” William never seems to have a problem with it comes to the physical aspect in their friendship - things hadn’t really worked out in the romantic section, things were complicated and they didn’t mix very well. But, still friends, that’s all that matters to Jonah.

“You gonna give me a ride back?” 

“Depends. What do I get outta it?” 

“My company,” Jonah tells him, only looks up when Veronica crosses the room and stops by them, “Hey, V. Can I ask you something?”

“You’re going to anyway,” Veronica is in a good enough mood to entertain him. Always a good sign, “What is it?” 

“That guy that came and got you last week...”

“Vito?”

“Yeah,” Jonah acts like he forgot his name - he didn’t, “Is he straight?” 

Veronica looks surprised at the question. Already taking out her pack of cigarettes to smoke one. William swipes one as well, “I think so. He hangs around Rudy a lot.”

William laughs, almost chokes on his inhale, “So that just automatically makes him straight?” 

Veronica ignores him, “I don’t talk to Vito a lot. But,” she shrugs one shoulder, “I’m guessin’ he is. Why?” 

Jonah looks down at his shoes, tries not to appear too interested, “No reason.” He can feel William staring at him though.

.

.

“I’m gonna puke.”

Jonah laughs, picks up his skateboard from the ground. Beside him, Jax looks nauseous, as if he needs to sit down. William swipes the fast food bag from the blond before he can drop it, “Weak stomach. Grow a pair, man.” William is checking the bag, making sure there’s no damage. He’s real serious about his food, for some reason. 

“I can’t help it,” Jax groans, holding his stomach, “I don’t get how you can ride that thing all the time.” He points accusingly at Jonah’s board, to which he only shrugs at. 

“If we don’t hurry up, we gonna be late. V hates when we’re late,” William insists, “Get up, Jax.” 

“Gimme a minute.” 

It takes another ten minutes to get to the bar, the air is warm and humid, spring came up fast and in a damn hurry, that was for sure. And Jonah likes this type of weather, can’t wait until summer. He had no problem coming out tonight, he’s running low on energy - he might need a coffee or two to get the blood pumping. Veronica is waiting at the entrance for them, looks up and flicks away her cigarette when they get close. 

“You’re late.” 

“It’s Jax’s fault,” William immediately says, which the blond protests at, “We practically ran here, cut us some slack.”

“Uh-huh,” Veronica doesn’t look amused, she presses her lips together and exhales a cloud of smoke, “C’mon. Rob’s already here.” 

“Jacob and Rob in the same room? Hell must’ve froze over,” William teases, but he follows Veronica inside. Jonah holds open the door for all of them, it’s packed inside, he should’ve figured from the amount of cars parked around the place, “Where is everyone?” 

“Towards the back, got their own table,” Veronica casts an annoyed glance towards Jax, who still looks a little green, “Go and sit down already.” 

Jonah can see where she’s talking about - he spots Jacob first. He’s sitting across from Rob, and while Jacob is smiling, Rob doesn’t look that happy. Casey is there, too. Maybe she’ll help with Jax’s mood. Leaning down towards William’s ear, he tells him, “Hold this for me.” 

William takes his board, gives this teasing salute towards Jonah. And with that, he’s off to look for the bathroom. It’s pretty easy to find, fortunately there’s no line for the men’s. He recognizes a few people lingering by the restrooms, greets them before he goes inside. After Jonah is finished, he washes his hands - hears the toilet flush in one of the stalls. 

Someone come out, and it’s Vito. Fixing his belt, looks up when he notices Jonah. Jonah meets his eyes through the mirror, gives a friendly smile, “Hey, didn’t know you were here.” 

“Yeah...likewise,” Vito mutters, goes to the sink beside him to do the same. It’s quiet between them, Vito isn’t looking at him anymore. 

“I’m - uh,” Vito glances up, looks at him, “I’m sorry if I was a little...weird. First time we met and everything. I’m not usually like that,” Jonah tells him, “I didn’t mean to make you...uncomfortable...” Vito is staring at him so hard that Jonah has a hard time finishing. He drops his eyes again. 

“Why would I be uncomfortable?” 

Jonah shrugs. He reaches for a paper towel, Vito does the same. Fingers brush for a second, Vito snatches away like he’d been burnt. Rueful smile on his face now, Jonah says, “Guess there wouldn’t be any reason to be, huh?” 

The night goes fine. Jonah is quiet through most of the conversation, only perking up slightly whenever his name is called. Rudy ( Jacob’s cousin, who’d shown up a few minutes after their group ) is drunk, he slurs most of his words and is beyond loud when he doesn’t have to be. Jax and Casey think it’s hilarious, Jacob takes Rudy’s beer bottle before he can spill it.

“I like you, man,” Rudy says to Jonah, “You’re cool with me.” 

“Oh--” Jonah didn’t expect that, but he’s happy to hear it nonetheless, “Thanks.” 

“Bet you’re a real lady’s man, hm?”

William laughs immediately from across the table, almost chokes on his drink. Jonah blinks, “Lady’s man?” 

“Yeah. Like you get a lot of pussy,” Rudy is oblivious to the look Jacob and Jax are throwing his way, “I’m right, right? Hit it and quit it type of guy.” 

“No...” Jonah is close to laughing too, “Nah, man. I’m - uh, gay.” 

Rudy stops. Looks at him for a long time like he’s not seeing him right, “You’re...”

“Gay. Yeah.” 

“So you like guys or somethin’?” 

“Or something, I guess.” 

“And you’re cool with that. With dicks--” 

Jacob speaks up, “Rudy.”

“--in your mouth. Ass. Shit like that.” 

“I mean - it’s not a bad thing,” Jonah tells him, he’s not that bothered, “You should try it sometimes.” 

William laughs even harder, Jax cracks a bit of a grin and then tries to muffle it with a hand over his mouth. Veronica is making a face at Rudy, and Jacob must’ve kicked him under the table, because Rudy jumps a bit. Vito is the only one quiet, doesn’t seem that interested in the conversation. 

“Un-fucking-believable,” Rudy grouses, “You hear this shit, Vito?” 

“Hm?” Vito looks up and over, his eyes flicker to Jonah momentarily and then away, “What.” 

“This guy sucks dick.” 

“Sucking dick isn’t a bad thing,” Jonah insists, there’s still a smile on his face, “Good past time.” 

“Oh, fuckin’ gross.” 

“Girls suck your dick all the time right, Rudy?” William breaks in, he looks as if he can’t control his laugh, “Same difference.” 

“He fuckin’ wishes girls sucked his dick,” Jacob puts in, Veronica chokes a bit on her drink, “Right hand’s as good as it’s gonna get.”

There’s the sound of a chair scooting out. Vito has stood from the table, muttering something under his breath - a smoke break probably. Jonah watches him leave, leans back in his seat. He shares a look with William, who also looks curious. 

“What’d I say?” Rudy complains under his breath, “Why everybody actin’ like they got their Aunt Flow visitin’? On the fuckin’ rag or what--Ow!” 

“Shut up,” Jacob tells him, “You talk too much.” 

The conversation carries on without Vito at the table. Jonah leaves soon after, he doesn’t like stuffy places anyway. When he gets outside, he sees Vito along the wall, finishing up his cigarette. 

“...you okay?” Vito looks up at his voice, there’s a furrow to his brow - he looks frustrated about something, “Just...thought I’d check on you before I left.” 

“You’re leaving?” 

Jonah blinks at his tone, then offers an easygoing smile, “Don’t miss me too much, man. But I got stuff to work on.” There goes that blank expression again - it’s like Vito only lets little reactions show and then quickly tries to yank them back. It’s kind of unnerving, Jonah doesn’t know if he could keep doing that all the time. 

It’s quiet again. Vito is shuffling back and forth on his feet. 

Jonah rubs at his neck, decides to take a shot in the dark, “Hey, you want to...hang out some time? Like next week?” 

Again, quiet. Vito is pointedly not looking at him. 

“I’m not...into guys.” 

Rejection. It’s quick and swift, leaves him a bit embarrassed. He masks it with a smile, nods and looks down at his shoes, “Yeah. Right. Sorry. I keep messing up.” 

Vito looks like he wants to say more, but he keeps his mouth shut. So, Jonah puts his board on the ground, uses his weight to make it move forward. 

“See you around, right?” 

Vito shrugs a shoulder, avoids eye contact, “Yeah.”

.

.

Jonah goes on with his life. No reason to worry over it. Vito is straight, that’s fine with him. Can’t make him think differently or force anything on him. Even though he is definitely Jonah’s type. Worrying over guys isn’t a big thing on Jonah’s priority list, but this time is different. He asks Veronica about him a lot, he thinks she only answers his questions because she likes Jonah a bit. If it was Jax, she probably would’ve told him to fuck off. She can be nice when she wants to be. 

There isn’t a lot Veronica knows about Vito, though. And even though Jacob is around a lot, Jonah would feel weird asking him about his cousin. Probably seem creepy, especially since he doesn’t know him that well. If they can’t be anything more, then Jonah guesses he can settle for friends. He did the same with William. He has no problem doing it again, it’s a normal in his life. 

Whenever him and Vito see each other, it’s pretty awkward. Jonah has to remind himself not to stare too much, and when Vito does look at him, his stomach does this weird twisting thing that doesn’t make him feel very good - doesn’t make him feel how he normally does. 

Not good. Really not good. But he’s Jonah, he doesn’t freak out over stuff like this. Shouldn’t start now. He keeps his distance from the group - Vito, Rudy, and Jacob have become apart of it, unfortunately. Veronica and Jax do most of their business and affairs with them, they’re not going to stop because Rob doesn’t like them. 

Jonah goes to his classes, more than he usually does that month. He knows most of the material, doesn’t even try to act like he’s paying attention. His Economics teacher is blabbering on and on, Jonah doodles in his notebook, headphones around his neck. When class is over, he grabs up his bag, ready to leave. Not a lot of people showed, maybe only ten or eleven, Mondays could be brutal. 

“Jonah, come here for a second, would you?” 

Jonah looks over to see Professor Milverton standing by his desk. Jonah goes over to him slowly, rocking on the heels of his feet, “Hey, Mr. M.” 

The Professor doesn’t look amused, he pulls off his glasses, “I haven’t seen you in awhile. You know, attendance in my class does count.” 

“I know, but--” 

“Another excuse?”

“No, just...” Jonah isn’t good when it comes to lying. He’s actually a very, very bad liar. He’s been told to his face on more than one occasion, “I’m sorry, Mr. M.” The last student files out of the class, closes the door behind her. 

Professor Milverton’s expression softens, he rubs at his jaw a bit, “Is this about before? Did I...Did I do something wrong or--” 

“No!” Jonah is quick to reassure him, even with the guy having a good twenty years on him, Jonah sometimes feels like the adult, “No, it wasn’t you...it just surprised me, is all.” 

“In a good way?” 

“Yeah, I think.” 

Professor Milverton steps closer, hooks his finger in one of Jonah’s belt loops, “Let’s meet later. At my place.” 

Jonah visibly hesitates, glances off to the side, “Tonight?” 

“You want to, don’t you?” 

Does he? It’s tempting, but--

Jonah shakes his head, he could use a good distraction, “Alright. Yeah. Tonight.” 

.

.

He stops at the convenience store before he gets on the train. Shouldn’t waste money on snacks, but he does anyway. He’ll need cab money just in case he changes his mind and wants to leave. As he’s leaving the store, he looks up towards the night sky - there’s no moon tonight. 

It’s quiet. Well, it’s quiet for a little while. To the left of him, he hears loud footsteps. Getting closer and closer. He glances over just in time to catch a figure barreling towards him. The unexpected weight hits him directly in the side, sends them both to the ground. Jonah groans, he’d hit his head during the collision, tries to roll over but has to stop at the weight on top of him. 

“Fuck--” 

“Vito?”

Above him, there’s Vito. That explains what had run into him. Jonah barely gets the time to gather himself, Vito grabs his wrist and forces him up, ducks them behind the store’s side. A few moments later, a group of men run past them, seemingly chasing something. About five or six of them. 

Vito is panting, places his hands on his knees to steady himself, “Fucking hell...”

Jonah looks over at him, and then to see where the guys went. They’ve turned the corner, “What was that about?” 

“Fuckin’ Rudy! Started a fight with like - twelve guys. Then he runs, leaves ‘em on me. Don’t know where the fuck he went...” Vito is struggling to catch his breath, stands up straight finally. Under the beam of the streetlight, Jonah can see him better. His lip is split, but otherwise, he’s fine, “Fucking idiot. Stupid fucking...” 

This is the most he’s heard Vito talk. He’s starting to sound more like Veronica described him as. Almost as loud mouth as Rudy. Jonah grins, despite the situation, “You’re bleeding.” 

“Huh?” 

“Your lip. It’s bleeding.”

Vito reaches up, touches his mouth. Blood smears on his hand. He begins cursing again, “I’m gonna kill Rudy, y’hear me? Next time I see him--” 

“Yeah, I hear ya’,” Jonah is giddy, just seeing him. And talking to him. He was afraid that he warded the guy off, “My place is near here, wanna clean up?” 

Vito looks up at this. He doesn’t look like he wants to take the offer, but he glances at the blood on his hand, seems to consider it. And then he shrugs, “Yeah. I - uh, yeah. Alright.” It’s quiet the walk there, Jonah has a bit of a hop in his step, he puts back on his headphones to help with the silence. 

When they get to his apartment, Jonah takes out his huge ring of keys and unlocks the door. He wishes he could’ve cleaned up, but it’s not like he knew Vito was going to run into him ( literally ). Vito takes off his shoes, even though Jonah wouldn’t have cared if he did or didn’t, and then sits on his couch, looking around for a bit. 

“What’s with all the maps?” 

“Huh?” Jonah is busy getting a towel, looks over at Vito to see what he’s staring at, “Oh. Well, they were my dad’s. Geography teacher.” 

“He still teach?” 

“Nah, he died. When I was six.” 

“Oh,” Vito’s face slightly falls, he hangs his hands between his legs, “I’m so--” 

“It’s cool. I didn’t know him real well, you know?”

“Yeah...” 

Vito isn’t talking as much as before, Jonah settles to the side of him, handing over the towel, “Here. You want some ice or something?” 

“No, this is good,” And then he adds, like an after thought, “...Thanks.” 

Jonah goes to get ice anyway, depending on how hard the guy punched him, the wound would start to swell. Now that he doesn’t have to look at Vito face to face, he says, “Why did the guys hit you anyway?” 

Vito scoffs, “Rudy started the whole thing. Was talkin’ to this guy’s girl,” When Jonah comes back with the ice, Vito frowns, but takes it anyway. He winces when he applies pressure to his jaw, “He’s an idiot, bottom line.” 

“I like Rudy. He’s a funny guy, man.”

“You said that to his face and he’d use a GoodFellas reference.” Jonah cracks a grin, but doesn’t laugh. There’s blood on Vito’s shirt, dried blood on his chin. He doesn’t really think about it, it’s more of just second nature ( Jax and William were such airheads sometimes, they always ended up with broken noses or busted lips ) - while Vito is talking, Jonah reaches forward and wipes the blood from his chin. Vito stops almost immediately, nearly drops the ice. 

“My bad--” 

“Don’t,” Vito’s voice is really quiet, eyes keeping on Jonah’s, “Don’t do that.” 

“I didn’t mean--” 

“I already told ya’, right? I ain’t a fuckin’ queer.” 

That stings a little. Jonah sets his jaw, frowns some. It’s not often that type of expression graces his features, “I didn’t say you were.” 

“Then stop treatin’ me like it.” 

“I’m not treating you like anything. I’m trying to be--”

“Trying to be what?”

“A friend. You have those? At all?”

Vito is silent, his eyes have narrowed, “Fuck is the matter with you?” 

“Matter with me? What’s with you? I’m trying to be nice here.” 

“No one asked you to be.”

Fine. That’s fine with him. Jonah isn’t the one to argue, isn’t going to start now, “Sorry then. Won’t happen again.” They’re staring at each other, Vito is the one who breaks it off after a few seconds. Stands from the couch and leaves Jonah there.

When the door slams, Jonah cringes. It’s hard to stay angry - doesn’t know how Veronica does it all the time. 

In the end, he doesn’t go to Professor Milverton’s house that night. Wouldn’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, though.

.

.

“What’s with you?” 

Jonah looks up from his skateboard, William is there - beer in hand, “You’re not supposed to be on the sidewalk with that.” 

“It’s Saturday, fuckin’ sue me,” William tells him, downing the rest to finish it off. It’s mostly foam, anyway, “What’re you doing out here, anyway? Bored?” 

“Nah,” Jonah shakes his head. He isn’t bored, per se. He just saw a face he didn’t think he would. It’s been two weeks since he last saw Vito, since they kind of had that sort of-almost-like-a fight thing. And Jonah doesn’t know how to feel about it. It shouldn’t matter, not like they’re close friends or whatever. He doesn’t even know if Vito considers him an acquaintance at this point.

“We can leave, if you want,” William always sticks by his side, Jonah grins a bit. He knows his friend would prefer not to leave, he loves parties like this. Usually, the parties Rudy were at are pretty good. So Jonah stands, shrugs a shoulder, “You sure?” 

“Yeah, I’m good. C’mon, I’ll help you pick up a chick.” 

“Hey! I’m gettin’ better at it.”

As usual, Jax and Casey are attached at the hip, and a few minutes ago, before Jonah had left - he could’ve sworn Jacob and Veronica were across from them, “Where did V go?” He asks over the music. 

Jax looks up, “Huh? Oh - I don’t know, man! Think she’s with Jay.” 

William has already disappeared off to wherever, and from across the room, Jonah spots Rudy and Vito, talking to a few girls. Vito doesn’t look that interested, he finishes whatever is in his red cup off fairly quickly. While he’s wiping his mouth, he looks up, meeting Jonah’s eyes from across the room.

And then away quickly. Figures. 

The party isn’t really Jonah’s cup of tea, he only stays because William wants to. Because Jax might need help with Casey later. But - other than that, he doesn’t find it very interesting. He keeps to himself most of the time, people naturally flock to him and speak to him, he greets them just like he would any other time. And when it all seems too loud, he sneaks out the back and leans against Rob’s old truck, pulling his headphones from around his neck and onto his ears. 

After just a few moments alone, there’s movement out of the corner of his eye. At first, he thinks it may be William coming to look for him again. But no, with his luck, it turns out to be Vito. Jonah slowly pulls off his headphones, turns down the music. 

Vito is pulling a cigarette out of his pocket, seems to consider it, and then tucks it away. When he turns around, he sees Jonah. 

“I can...go back inside,” Jonah offers at the look. 

“’S fine, Jonah,” His words hold a slight slur, but he isn’t tipping over or vomiting or Jonah doesn’t think he’s too plastered, “Do what you want.” 

“Right,” Jonah keeps by the truck. It’s Vito who surprises him this time, he moves closer, stops maybe a foot away. Jonah stays still, “Hey - look, I’m sorry about...before. Didn’t mean to make you mad.” 

Vito stares at him, and then this smile comes to his face. Hiking up one corner of his lips before the other, “You apologize a lot.” 

“Oh. Sorry - I mean - Sorry,” Vito’s smile gets bigger, “No, sorry--okay, I’ll stop...talking...”

“I don’t think I’m mad. Not anymore, yanno?” 

No, he didn’t know. Jonah keeps quiet. And then says, “That’s good. ‘Cause I don’t want you to be mad at me or nothing. So...we’re cool?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Good.” 

Vito is staring at him again, “I should - uh, say sorry too, I guess. I was an asshole, right?” 

He wasn’t. Jonah shakes his head, “It’s fine. I should learn to respect boundaries. Something I need to work on.” 

“No, it’s just--” 

“Hey, didn’t we just say we were cool? Keep it that way.” The music from inside stops for a second, and then starts back up, louder than before. Jonah looks up at it, away from Vito’s eyes, “We should probably--” 

He doesn’t expect it. He really doesn’t. One second Vito is a good few inches away, and the next, he’s close - real close - and his lips press hard against Jonah’s. It’s hard enough that their teeth touch, that Jonah instinctively pulls back. But Vito is stubborn, he kisses like he’s angry or nervous or worried Jonah will disappear. 

So, Jonah cups underneath his jaw with a warm hand, murmurs quietly, “Slower.” 

This calms Vito down enough that Jonah can actually feel his lips now, his light, recently shaved stubble. And he smells good, and his mouth is soft and parting against his - Jonah inhales, releases it slowly. Vito is the one delving in for more, fortunately they’re about the same height so it isn’t hard to get a good angle.

The backdoor opens. There’s drunken laughter, the sound of someone falling. Vito jumps away quickly, almost too quick for Jonah to catch up with. Fortunately, it was just Casey - she’s too drunk to tell what’s going on at first, she beams once she spots Jonah.

“Jonaaaah! There you are!” She rushes towards him, loops arms around his neck, “Have you seen V? I can’t find anybody...”

Jonah’s heart is in his throat, he looks up to see how Vito is taking it, but he’s already heading inside, the door closing behind him. 

Well, that was definitely something.

.

.