#And let me take a moment to remind you
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Man, I feel like every clip I see from Pints with Aquinas lately Matt Fradd is demeaning women. Really sad to see it, I used to love his interviews :/
#lilac rambles#pints with aquinas#matt fradd#catholic#if anyone knows of anyone who has adressed this (not a paid substack. im very broke rn and only looking for podcast type things)#please let me know about it#honestly it feels like every other day someone i really admired turns to our polarized culture of hate#i was watching his recent interview with jason evert and jason is saying all these beautiful things about how the women he's encountering#who are dressing immodestly or being promiscuous or engaging in the culture are deeply wounded and matt just keeps jumping in with all these#reminders that yeah thats great and all but dont forget women suck too#and like. we know! we know the ways we suck! the entire red pilled manosphere spends a lot of time pointing it out to us!#but if you dont want women constantly pointing out the ways men have failed us then for the love of goodness please stop taking every moment#where someone is talking about female woundedness to talk about Why All Women Except Your Wife And Friends' Wives Suck#im just feeling very let down
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If Shalamayne were a Legion artifact weapon...
#so I was thinking about it and what might happen in the quests leading up to it#and I prefer Anduin keeping it but I feel exploring what it would take for him to part from it could#be very interesting way of furthering his character and letting him stand out as his own person#Maybe in the quest he sees the warrior player fight and it reminds him of his father#he says 'this sword saved me and my kingdom long ago#i want you to use it to save our world'#aND THEN i remembered that BFA exists and what that could mean if the player character was Horde#Anduin spotting the champion at Lordaeron using his father's sword to end the lives of alliance soldiers#a sick feeling overwhelming him bile in his throat at the sight of his father's legacy#in that moment he longs to have the sword back more then anything in the world#also i imagine after hearing anduin gave shala away Velen gifts Anduin a powerful staff to help protect himself against the legion#world of warcraft#anduin wrynn
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So in this last episode we had confirmed:
1. Indri, who 2/3rds of the party is infatuated with, is Big BAD Lady in a very real way and can call down the memories of stars, including the ones shining into her library
2. If you “flee” (and i just feel that the definition of that might be a little squishy in this specific scenario) *within a mile* of Grimore, you are as good as dead
oh this is DELICIOUS
#this foreshadowing is DELECTABLE and i am SCARED#i am so scared for our girl#the mouse in the trap has to be so still but also she does not know she’s in the trap that she’s in and oh my GOD this is so good#aabria the woman that you are#you’re doing amazing sweetie#also i hadn’t even thought about the 4D chess that is the geas also subtly doing emotional things with suvi#which is once again aabria being a genius#because i both trust suvi’s emotional responses because why wouldn’t i#but now there is a quiet little voice going “how would her reacting this way help the mission#which is SO FUN#and listen i don’t know i can’t see the future#maybe nothing comes of this#maybe she gets away with it#but this little guillotine that brennan is slowly building above suvi’s head is narratively just chef’s kiss#worlds beyond number spoilers#worlds beyond number#aabria iyengar#wbn pod#wbn spoilers#also this is neither here nor there#but suvi crying while saying “i’ve been so mad for so long”#after her friends offered to take her to the place she felt safe to have emotions#REALLY got me 😭#her having to remind herself to continue to be mad at certain moments 😭#ame and suvi both reiterating they wouldn’t let outside forces hurt the other#while suvi is secretly and overtly in a very dangerous position#STORYTELLING GOT ME AGAIN!!
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study break! 🍵 (read tags)
#it’s me i’m the one taking a much needed break from studying by doodling on my phone LOL#today marks my first year of being on tumblr :)#and although i had a whole thing planned#my ipad died#lol#and i’m still in public and kinda tired#but i still want to commemorate one of my first posts made on this account and by default my first drawing ever made on procreate#so notes app it is LOLLL#with my finger again#i might delete this and redo it later but. in the moment it feels just right :)#if you read all of this i love you#because by simply being here it fuels the inner kid in me that hesitated for years before ever posting my art#it’s silly yeah but#knowing there are communities out there that enjoy the same things i do with such curious creative passion#it reminds me that i don’t have to let go of the things that make me happy just for the sake of other ppl#so thank you for stopping by - for being here to enjoy the moment#yeehaw#kitsunecrows art#tododeku#tddk#todoizu#doodles#izutodo#midoroki#todoroki shouto#midorya izuku#notes app#bnha#mha#good luck!
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Boo!
I'm the paranormal activity on your dash :]
#Udi posting in 2023? truly a christmas miracle#Now it'd be pretty funny if everyone seeing this collectively thought 'who the hell is this person?' I mean. UNDERSTANDABLE-#I've been gone for so long I don't even recognise this dash layout help??#Excuse me while I have a grandma moment trying to figure out where things are#Anyway I don't have much to post since I've barely drawn in all these months. So many art blocks stacked on top of more art blocks#(among other things)#BUT I still have some drawings here and there. Not the best I've ever produced but hey it's something#and you know what happens when Udi has an art block? Exactly. Cateeva content (and silly drawings) (。•̀ᴗ-)✧#Now it's time for me to fill my room with sticky notes reminding me to take things easy#you'll have to bear with my slowness for a little bit longer. Life hit me hard recently and everything feels so heavy to me#but I just didn't want to let this year pass without saying anything...#I actually missed being on here. If I see art or an oc from any of my moots I'll probably cry on the spot#Moot reading this you've been warned (🫶)#I'll shut up now. I really hope everyone's doing as good as they can. This is such an awful world#Udi talks
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Really funny to try to deliberately oust and purge the worst subsection of your fan base so when you do, actually, do the second season of the thing they wanted, you won't have to deal with them
#Being on the peripheral of this is very interesting#It reminds me of how upset people got during say last jedi#Where they had wrapped their own fanon versions of events so tightly that even going off script ofFANON was met with disgust and vitriol#Obviously that's not a 1:1 but this kind of entitlement for a creators work because you personally have found attachment to it....#And I get and sympathize with that! As someone who projects and introjects heavily on the media I consume I know the feeling#But... This is one of those 'that's maladaptive' moments where.... If you are genuinely on the verge of tears / genuinely mad at a#Let's play streamer for having a goof in a fan base based on. Having goofs. Then yeah duh have your emotions but consider taking a step back#And realizing the maladaptive harm this attachment is holding over your very soul#And trust me when I say I've been here and had to make the decision to step back and de construct how entwined I was with something that is#At the end of the day. Not real and for fun no matter how much influence it has over my real brain#Anyways I still have to finish the first season of hlvrai and it's fun so far.
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It hurts losing time to grief or depression but sometimes you need to just process and feel things.
#grief#depression#healing#it's a process#reminder#gentle reminder#it's ok to not be ok#my grief has been particularly hurting these last few days#i've had genuinely happy moments too#but sometimes when i try to have fun it's like it makes it worse#i need to accept that i'm not quite ok right now#but this post isn't just about me#i want you all to take care of yourselves too#sometimes self care is letting yourself be happy and sometimes it's letting yourself be sad
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Rate my current Letterboxd watchlist and also pleaseee please recommend me bad (like 2 star bottom of the barrel box office flops) or weird/surreal movies 🙏🙏 I need more to hoard and watch eventually I want shit that makes my head spin and I don't understand and I feel more confused and also that I never even started the movie
#elias howls#I've seen silence of the lambs it's there to remind me to watch again#also. if you have any weird animated movies dear god tell me#also. i dont um. take ketterboxd ''seriously'' or w/e. reviews are of the moment usually. anyway. lets be friends
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Gushing about Gojo and Megumi and how they are or could have been everything to me I forgot to mention that I really really really love Yuuji. Like, a lot
#His attempt at reaching out to Sukuna‚ saving him and living with him#and how we see can see here and there moments in which he tries to reason with him from the very beginning#is one of my favorite things in JJK#It moves me a lot. It fits Yuuji a lot#But it fits the constant theme in JJK about how curses and people are not that different so much as well#Yuuji in the conditions of his existence looks at himself and then regards Sukuna#and the difference he sees is a faint line between them drawn out of merely being... lucky. Lucky enough to have someone supporting you#So he asks. Over and over. Let's try. Let's try again. This time it can be right. I know you could love flowers and haiku and company#I know you fear death. I will keep you company in life. Let's try again#But Sukuna owns it like Tirso de Molina's Don Juan does#I don't know. I love Itadori a lot#Their dynamic is truly something else. I wish it could be better#Damn I guess I just don't like shonen. The potential is amazing but damn why is it so unsatisfactory#Talking about best potential ever but unsatisfactory sorry to gush over Megumi and Gojo again#but the apparent parallel between them is arriving me off the wall#Megumi's mention to how it's the three of them reminded me of Gojo's similar comment to Ijichi and Shoko when he learnt Nanami had died#I live for these things. I wish there was enough to actually sustain me#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#Also Gojo found her mother. She said she didn't care but he did. Just in case I suppose?#Perhaps to give her the chance if she did care after all. And I don't know. I don't know. I guess... This is it. This is why I love him#Despite everything he does care. And does take care of things. In his way. Uncouth. Weird. Irresponsibly. But he does#And Megumi laughs#Despite how his world crumbled he laughs. Because of something he wrote. Because of Gojo keeping his promise#In the worst most absurd Gojo way possible. But there he is. Taking care of it as he said he would. Telling him about it#And Megumi laughs. Because that's just so Gojo. Megumi laughs. And it's a sight to behold#And this is it. This is what Gojo could have been. What he was. But the glimpse of what could have been sooo deep when it comes to Megumi#And this is why I love him and them so much. And why the undeveloped potential breaks my ribs so severely#They could have been everything to me! They could have been everything at all! One of the dynamics ever!#Even if it had been nothing! Even in the nothingness! For the nothingness itself. Like the nothingness of this letter! Perfect example
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having terminal narwhal brainrot is kinda the worst actually bc. sometimes my brain just gets Stuck on all these tiny things and observations that are Very Funny Indeed but also like. i have no actual clue whether its Intended to be significant at all in terms of implication or if im just losing it but its rent free either way and its not going away like. take this one for a completely coincidental example i definitely havent had swirling around my head rent free for like the last 3 weeks nopers no way uhhhhh
so act I of fontaine AQ right???? first narwhal mentions we get from childe in the story???
"it" right?? which like fine yeah makes sense. mysterious massive eldritch sea creature wouldnt consider that out of place for a choice of pronoun. in no small part prolly due to ajax just taking after skirk in terms of how she refers to and views the narwhal. its not rly carrying any connotation of personhood and/or sentience purely in terms of the language used
Now. if its such an unsurprising choice. why am i fixated on this
WELL. lets say purely hypothetically. wouldnt it be like. really funny if after Multiple languages. explicitly went for a non-human moniker when it comes to childe speaking about the narwhal. that he would then like. possibly. the Second they make actual direct and personal telepathic connection with one another. pull a complete 180 on that. in like act III mayhaps
"someone" calling him??????
Like. isnt it Interesting. that he went from "it". to IMMEDIATELY assigning explicit personhood to whatever originated that whalesong call.
Its telepathic connection. Right??? like these mfs are Literally in each others heads. right??? and yet. Somehow. PURELY off of that call that single moment of fleeting impression and feeling that gravitational pull towards one another. youre Instinctively assigning sentience personhood and character to that voice. Huh
(so based and narwhalpilled ajax i knew you were a truther and an ally)
and like what makes me fixate on this so much and not just go oh its prolly nothing is just. they didnt HAVE to write it that way right??? they couldve made it "something calling me..." . or even for intentional ambiguity something like "i hear a call somewhere..." . but Nooooooo its. someone. they made ajax go from "it" to "someone". in the exact span it took for him to make direct metaphysical contact with his narwhal.
obviously like. yes ive made my case against the "lmao dumb pet that overeats" misconception Many Times Before for obvious reasons bc thats My beloved and theres Plenty enough canon material even excluding this one to very much suggest the narwhal is indeed a fully sentient immortal being capable of complex thought i just. for ajax of all people to seemingly note that so instinctively the moment they make contact as well............
yeah let me scream real quick thanks im just. HHHHHHHHHH these 2 kill me irl
and NO its not just english i triple checked. like first i checked german and that shit goes from es/etwas to jemand. non-human to explicitly person-specific
(beyond the obvious. whale as a masculine noun)
& then w chinese obviously not a speaker but i took the same lines from project ambr, got the translation and pinyin with google and as long as im not missing sth huge and/or wikipedia isnt lying about how chinese pronouns work. its explicitly non-human 3rd person to very much person-specific interrogative "who" too.
so like. that sure is a very specific and curious choice to make with the writing. multiple times. in multiple languages. when there very much were Multiple very easy ways to write it Not in such a way. for the one (1) guy with undeniably the closest and most personal bond to the narwhal. to say That. in response to its call. its just a little bit of an inch resting detail to have. just a bit
yeah ajax mister im actually going to need you to explain this one to the class as well in addition to all the OTHER shit you have the audacity to spew thanks
#like what the fuck man.#and keep in mind we. STILL. have literally 0 account of whatever the hell went down between these 2 in the primordial sea#beyond them throwing hands . for all that time. bc ajax has said jack shit on the matter and how he experienced it .#bc like the thing im asking is. if your connection is enough for such an impression. that a sense of personhood is Immediately assigned#how fucking much of that whalecall is literally just. straight up intelligible communication. to him. were they talking shit the entire tim#AND in case of like oh the call was probably surtalogi/focalors trying to get him to the narwhal all according to keikaku. might i remind#that in the cutscene . itself. you LITERALLY hear a whalecall as 'i hear... someone calling me...' appears like this isnt among us.#theres no multiple suspects its not really a question as to WHOSE call that is.#also skirks demeanor if anything suggests that ajax ran into the narwhal sooner than was supposed to#since she expects to be reprimanded by surtalogi for letting said 'blunder' happen. so theres that as well#like this is sth nobody registers but so far theres arguably 1 singular action we know the narwhal has done explicitly of its own free will#and not simply its instinct to consume a planets life force etc or sth forced upon it by surtalogi taking it as a pet#and that one. is. seeking out ajax at that specific time. like That was a priority for whatever reason#and when it called to him at that moment the nature of that call was such that he immediately sensed soul and sentience in it.#its so over its so rent free...............................#please kiss im going to die#childeposting#oh also. ig if ur arguing the 'someone' sensed is the shadow within the narwhal not the narwhal . its like okay fine that can be argued#but surtalogi or focalors is kind of a stretch im sorry lol#narwhalposting#genshin#rambles
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You're a once in a lifetime kind of person.
#these messages are so nice and i’ve been thinking this past week#i have this habit of telling my friends i love them randomly. and now with grief & everything#i always screenshotted those moments. and no matter how dumb i felt just dropping a variation on ‘i love you so much and i’m glad you exist’#into the middle of a conversation like a dead mouse#let me tell you i treasure those moments i made my friend feel loved#& it was one of the last conversations we had so like. you’ll never regret reminding people that you love them#it will always matter that i said those things and it’s some small comfort that it was among the last things i got to say to them#so yeah idk just tell your friends you love them sometimes and take screenshots and know that the love is always worth giving no matter what#anon#🫂💖🫂💖
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.
#warning: rant about parent ahead#I’m so so so so so empathetic to mental health struggles#like exceedingly so#but it’s just so exhausting being on the receiving end of someone’s self-loathing#and to be clear I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT ANYONE HERE#you are all my phone besties and I have so much empathy for your struggles and know that i love you all#and wish i could say the right thing to support you all always and you are always welcome to share whatever is going on#and to quote the bard herself i wish i could take the bombs in your head and disarm them#but when my mother gets into these moods she just seems to use it as a way to get a rise out of us#she’s pulling the ‘well maybe you don’t want to do x with me because it’s not fun because I’m a terrible person and you’re scared of me#and i ruin everything so maybe you would just rather i do everything alone’#and i don’t doubt she feels horrible and i know she has intrusive thoughts etc#but that is so manipulative!!!! she then puts the onus on us to reassure her that she is not!!!! But that is not what she wants!!!!#which we then do profusely and remind her that we do love her and we do do things together and whatever the fuck is the problem of the day#but of course she won’t hear it#so yes it makes us scared of her because we are always worried we’re going to say the wrong thing in a given moment!!!!#i just shut the fuck up at all times now#but my dad tries to use reason with her and of course it just ends in her lashing out and projecting all this shit on him#’oh you maybe you actually hate me maybe you want to leave me’ etc#THEY’VE BEEN MARRIED DECADES HE’S THE MOST LOYAL AND KINDEST PERSON IN THE WORLD HE NEVER ONCE HAS#i honestly don’t know how he lets this roll off his back because i am so fed up with it#It’s just so so so so hard because one minute she’s ‘herself’ and the other she’s this inferno#and we just have to ride whatever wave she’s on and it sucks all the air out of the room#it’s like the one and only time i tried to very gently bring up that something she said was hurtful *after she’d brought it up herself*#she went on a ‘oh I’m a terrible person/terrible parent’ rant and it then turned into me reassuring her that she isn’t#i was just trying to show her how the language/behaviour she uses was hurtful to me#so anyway that was lesson learned that even if she invites it i will never speak of it and luckily she hasn’t since and that was years ago#But it’s just… i know bad thoughts can’t be helped and again i feel so much pain on her behalf for what she struggles with#and i wish i could help but there’s absolutely nothing i can do#AND SHE’S GONE OFF ALL HER MEDS SO THE ONE SOURCE SHE DID HAVE ISN’T THERE ANYMORE EITHER
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There's a part of me that definitely would like to do Kagurabachi fics but it's still too early to do so (at the time of this post, we're 19 chapters in) when events are focusing on the now (re: post-Sojo fallout, the Rakuzaichi auction and the Sazanami family plus Hakuri) and the worldbuilding is spoken of and hinted at but is still in the process of laying down its foundations.
#its worldbuilding reminds me of early naruto#as in: it feels quite lived in#but it's so far focused on a rather microscopic level b/c we're given fly-on-the-wall views of certain sects of japan#a'la the hishaku the kamunabi chihiro and shiba and even azami#even a peek into the window that was a specific moment of char's life at the end of the first arc#i actually think kagurabachi - so far - has done this better#whereas early naruto got hamstrung by editorial influence#as in: OG naruto was going to have more chapters dedicated to missions before the chuunin exams#chapters that i think would have served to expand the world- and character-building well#but that in itself is its own critique that i think has probably been made by others as naruto is an established work#whereas kagurabachi is still taking steps to paint the bigger picture#and you don't want to drop your worldbuilding all at once#you have to introduce it and address it gradually#and that is a process kagurabachi is succeeding at with all the hints of lore macro and micro being dropped#this is what i mean when i say you have to let your story breathe#is kagurabachi fast-paced? yes. but it also coasts long enough to allow enough room to breathe before it hits the gas when it needs to#armi reads manga
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I feel like I have an unacceptably low level of control over my body. Like obviously there are some things that no one can control but I have like actual big problems because of it. I'm not really sure how to describe it but it's not just me being really clumsy (although that is an effect of it) or even the tics I have.
It's like I can feel my body moving wrong constantly but I can't correct it and it hurts and it sucks and I'm tired. I'm tired of hurting myself, making mistakes, breaking things, acting like it's fine when in reality I'm constantly afraid of how much any movement I make next could hurt me. I need to move to stay sane, I want to workout and get stronger and go on walks with my friends. I wanna get better. I can't even roll over in bed without pain and I'm just so tired.
#opossums chronic illness rants#seriously though this sucks so much and idk if theres anything i can do about it but i wanna try#its probably a combination of a lot of different things#like muscle weakness and instability from ehlers danlos syndrome both making each other worse#along with the poor proprioception from autism the dizzyness and weakness from the dysautonomia#the fact that i cant really see and even possibly inner ear damage (thats a new one that ive been suspecting more and more recently)#im not sure if the ear damage would be just from built up ear wax or maybe or something else#but im really not having a good time because it brings back bad memories#when i was a kid (8 i think) my mom was convinced i had compacted ear wax but given that she refused to ever#take me to doctors she decided she had to fix it herself#which led to a lot of excruciating trials where she stuck wires and que tips stripped of their cotton into my ears#and tried to scrape out whatever she could. even though i wanted her to stop because it hurt so bad i would start crying everytime#im also mildly suspicious that might be what damaged my ears in the first place... but i really have no way to know that at the moment#all i know is i dont want anyone looking in or putting things in my ears ever again#it doesnt even matter how much i trust them because now anything put in my ears hurt#like even when im just regularly cleaning them with que tips it hurts and im reminded that might not be normal#idk if you read these tags let me know if cleaning your ears is supposed to hurt i guess?#im honestly not sure. like i just always assumed i wasnt being gentle enough or something but it doesnt matter what i do#its not super painful either just a little bit so i ignored it because i assumed it was normal#since a lot of 'normal' things hurt for me. which i now know to my surprise isnt normal at all but i didnt figure that out#until i actually got people to believe that these things were hurting me#apparently its very hard to find anyom#who believes that opening bag clips or trying to lift a jug of milk are actually quite painful for me#they usually just say im way overreacting and when i was a kid i just believed them i guess
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GOD. Epilogue of "A Dream a Kirin Dreamed" pisses me off. This is not to say it's bad by any stretch. It just pisses me off because WHY DIDN'T KIRYU BOTHER TO TELL DAIGO ANYTHING. Why did he just say "He didn't betray you" without backing up his point at all and then fuck off entirely without checking back in.
The man just woke up and he's awake for a week before he's discharged from the hospital??? Maybe catch him up to speed on something that's clearly weighing on him??? Or on anything else that's happened in the time he was unconscious ??? Hello???????
Like. Dude. Is it not enough that you're just dead weight for the entire fucking ending. Knowing this is your son's best friend. And no way he doesn't know because even aside from Mine's monologue which (obviously) focused on his perspective, Kiryu says himself when he encounters a journalist who can't find any friends or family to interview about Mine that Daigo would know him best.
KNOWING this is your son's best friend. You LET him kill himself in front of you both because for you, sitting on your ass and going "Mine!" was good enough. You didn't think to reason with him. You didn't think to grab onto his leg or something when he was three feet away. You weren't injured. You weren't THAT exhausted. You just didn't think to do it. Even though A SUBSTORY IN Y3 ENDS THE WAY THE MAIN STORY SHOULD HAVE AND IT'S ONE OF THE LAST THINGS YOU CAN DO BEFORE HEADING TO THE HOSPITAL.
Y3 ending is literally my Y7 ending in terms of how much anger rises up within me whenever I think about it because it just Somehow, To This Day, piles more and more on top that makes it worse than it already was. Like its ONLY saving grace is that Mine didn't actually die. Allegedly. At least you can argue Ichiban and Aoki didn't have time to react, but Kiryu had all the time in the world and did nothing.
Ok I need to stop I need to stop I know I should be mad at Yokoyama and Takeuchi and not Kiryu and I literally had to run this post through an all-caps -> sentence caps converter But Anyway Point Is If Ichi Had Been The Protagonist Of Y3 Mine Would Be Alive
i cant even really blame something like kiryu's emotional ineptitude to explain why he couldnt just be open about What Mine's Business Was because the guy can CLEARLY speak from the heart and say good and honest things. like he knows how to communicate For The Most Part so its truly just. The Fuck Happened Here you dont think it wouldve been a good idea to get daigo up to speed on the past week or 👁️👁️ just saying Mine Didn't Betray You is like. a FAIR start i GUESS but ELABORATE a bit ??
not at all a 'rare' L moment just a typical kiryu L honestly (;´д`)
#long post#snap chats#mizuki goated fr fr. highkey those two's substories are my fave theyre so fuckin bizarre.....#BUT REAL LIKE KIRYU. ILY I DO IM SORRY but i KNOW your ass can get up#mine DID just beat your ass but youre not THAT banged up and its not like you have any reason to relax after knowin richardsons alive#like there was PLENTY of time to react this some yakuza 'let him finish speaking its honorable' bullshit i PROMISE (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)#dont look down here im ranting about y7 related stuff#OK BUT NO THIS JUST REMINDED ME OF ONE OF THE MOST INFURIATING TAKES I READ ONCE#AND IT WAS BASICALLY PEOPLE BLAMING ICHI FOR AOKI DYING LIKE EXCUSE ME#how on gods green earth was ichi supposed to react in time- when its KUME of all people#what the fuck was he supposed to assume was going to happen its KUME he's a wet rag of a bitch boy#especially when all he did was praise aoki like how the fuck was he supposed to think he would stab him oh my godddd#like its not just kume showing up either ichi and aoki JUST had an intense emotional moment and they finally got a chance to breathe#like they thought they were good and in the clear and they were in a steadily-getting-better mood why would they be on guard (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)#FORGIVE ME thats been bothering me for months. i needed it off my chest#anyway im going for a walk. we got ice cream today and idk why i eat ice cream when it always makes me sad/lethargic#so heres to hoping a lil nature walk and heavy metal improves my mood a bit
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story time 👹
#I forget???? the boxes that cishets put everyone into#and when I’m reminded of them it tastes so bad#storytime I was in the field all week for work#fieldwork is the one time I’ll carry a knife on me#more a tool than a weapon etc#working with a guy coworker. run of the mill cishet kind of guy. just a dude but also I may be the only gay person he knows etc#he’s struggling with someone that a knife could help with#*something#I say do you need a knife and dig mine out to hand it to him#he takes it SO hesitantly and literally says ‘I feel so emasculated right now’#I’m flabbergasted bc I don’t what part was emmasculating#was it the knife? (penetrative object?) would we have felt manly if I handed him a hammer? or a wrench?#was it that I’m a woman? I’m literally a coworker handing you a tool#but due to the complicated (and WEIRD) rules cishets set up for men-women interactions#this was emmasculating for him and he let me know#I just looked at him and said ‘Well don’t take it that way’#I’m a person handing you a tool that you need.#if roles were reversed I would have been like wow thanks! and he def wasn’t like that#idk it was such a small moment but I’ve thought about it twice a day since#it’s ok to be in need and for someone to fulfill that need even if that someone is a woman and that need is just for a knife#whoops spelling errors
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