#And it's such a shame because these two could have participated more if the narrative of J&H had a few changes

[immediatebreakfast]

Even if they are one timed characters, I just can't stop thinking about the irony of Hyde's crimes being discovered then tracked with the help of two servant women.

The younger and innocent maid traumatized by such cruel violence when her mind was at most peace, and the older much experienced head maid delighted by these turns of events.

Invisible women with crucial, yet at the eyes of the upper class invisible jobs. I do even think that in a crueler novel the young maid would have been the victim of Hyde's murderous rage towards her honest living, but RLS made a huge point by making sir Danvers Carew the victim, and not the maid.

By making this young maid the spectator of Hyde's murder it really drive the point of huge was the misstep of letting all of those emotions explode at seeing once again the antithesis of Hyde as a mask, Jekyll as a man, and how all of these hidden actions affect everyone around him whenever he wants or not.

The young maid was honest, she was feeling romantic, she was not hiding anything from anyone, she was watching the moon until she saw how the light reflected sir Danvers Carew's kidness, and revealed Hyde's rage. She told everything that happened to the police, and get this, Hyde probably doesn't even know how the police knew it was him, he didn't even notice the young maid by the window, but she recognized him.

Then there is the older head maid, the one working for mister Hyde in Soho surrounded by poverty, and day to day survival. Could you imagine being her? Serving Hyde when he is at that home with such efficent façade? Seeing the hypocrisy of a despicable upper class man putting serious money into transforming the inside of his Soho house (because she probably knows that the house is only a hiding place) into a place of pure luxury, and not use it while her neighbors don't know if they would eat at night?

“A flash of odious joy appeared upon the woman’s face. “Ah!” said she, “he is in trouble! What has he done?”

The head maid doesn't try to even defend her employer, she doesn't try to be privy or to direct Utterson, and the inspector quietly into the house to keep up appaerances. It only took one single push from Utterson to change the response "it's impossible to see his rooms" to "he fucked up?? Please come in and search everything!"

No wonder the woman was so happy to see an officer of the law come to the house. Who knows how Hyde treated her when he was there, considering that he is a way for Jekyll to let himself feel free of any guilt for his impulses, and inhibitions.

Maybe Hyde thought of himself as untouchable because he was only dewling on the under belly of London, where he thought that he could get away with anything. However, at the reminder of his hypocrisy towards morality, and how he is an outlier regarding his "needs" of self divide in the form of sir Danvers Carew, Hyde forgot something.

Hyde forgot how he couldn't resist to keep his upper class lifestyle, and how with the upper class lifestyle comes the "need" of having servants around you, the very servants that will watch everything that you do, whenever it's on accident or on purpose.

[bettyshoweduptotheparty]

Midnights duality (part 2): Meet me at midnight

So, we’ve established that Midnights is the era where Taylor makes it known that there are two versions of her story, and that the prevailing narrative can’t be trusted and she’s letting a second (conflicting) narrative exist alongside it. This brings me back to the sentence that concluded the album announcement and opened the first track: Meet me at midnight.

Sounds so simple, right? But who are we meeting at midnight? It’s not the public Taylor, because we’ve known her for a while. So it must be the private one, the one that wears trainers and a T-shirt and bleeds purple glitter. Let’s meet her.

Where, other than in the mv, do we see this private Taylor? On the big screen during the Eras tour performance of Anti Hero. And what is she doing? Screaming and waving at us before she walks off in a huff. Guess no one was there to meet her…

She is also the one taking notes when performance Taylor is doing the teaching. I find it noteworthy that the public Taylor here is dressed in 1989 outfit and is holding the pointer stick in the same way she used to swing and hold the golf club in the Blank Space performance on the 1989 tour. She is also the one slut-shaming and bullying Taylor about her weight in the bathroom scene, two things we know were very prominent during the 1989 era so this ‘Anti Hero’ villain is her 1989 self, the height of her fame and perfectly crafted public persona. So this private Taylor that we are meeting is taking notes from her 1989 self. Interesting… And even more interesting that we are now getting a vault track on 1989tv called SLUT!. And I have just learned today that we are quite possibly getting a mv for this song… so would this be the place to meet our new Taylor? I think it’s a contender.

I have said in my post about the burning Lover house, that I take from the blue flames that 1989tv will move the narrative of this new Taylor forward quite a bit and as we are nearing the release (5 days to go as I’m writing this) I get that feeling more and more. Yes, I am not blind or deaf, I am very well aware that Taylor is currently doing her very best performance of NFL player’s gf, but I actually think that furthers my duality in public narrative and performance art point from part 1. Because, while I’m sure I don’t need to give you any examples of the excessive articles and media coverage of Taylor’s outings with either MH or TK, I just want to remind you of what other articles and media coverage has emerged in recent months, and this is not a story that would have made the NY Times or Cosmopolitan even a year ago.

Yep, Gaylor has entered the mainstream media. Not something that was on my 2023 bingo card, if I’m honest. Not even during the spring and summer of 2019, during Taylor’s soft launch phase, was her queerness this openly discussed in mainstream media. And not just as a general idea, some of the articles are linking her to very specific women in the past and, as if that wasn’t enough, the women in question have promptly appeared in public, either non-denying a relationship with her (looking at you DA), or showing up at her concert after a supposed years-long feud, adding fuel to the fire. And didn’t Taylor make a spectacle of looking lovingly up at Karlie in the stands at the last LA show, a show that she hyped up enough with 1989 announcement easter eggs that she could be sure everyone was watching. She wants to give this new narrative a platform. Yes, the straight girl pap walks are happening, but so is this. Pick your narrative. Especially the inclusion of Taylor in posts from official LGBTQ charities like Stonewall and Glaad seems significant to me, because they are non-profit organisations that are dedicated exclusively to preserving and telling queer people’s stories and would never risk their reputation or seriousness of their cause by participating in clout chasing or name dropping. And I know that these two things going on simultaneously seem super confusing, but I’m starting to think the confusion is part of the act. This is the tale of the two Taylors and it’s our job to work out which is which. The Stonewall Archive specifically tagged Taylor in their post about an exhibit on media coverage and public perception… they know something we don’t.

The re-emergence of pap walks alone is something I wasn’t expecting. Over the last 7 years we have known Taylor as a private person after her turbulent 1989 era. She was mostly quiet, stayed out of the headlines, no pap walks or public appearances outside of award shows and select performances. After all, reputation Taylor told us that the old Taylor died and the new version didn’t explain anything or show her face in public much. But 2023 Taylor has felt a lot like that old Taylor, right?? The pap walks, the girl squad, the high publicity romances… So, hasn’t Taylor learned her lesson from her 1989 self after all?

I think she has, but she wants the rest of the world to eat their words and see how ridiculous this is. Will this all be part of a Slut! mv? Maybe. Or it could be a way to distract the fanbase from something else that’s going on. One very notable difference in the pap walks now is how confidently herself she is when she’s photographed with her friends or going to the studio. Back in 2014 she would leave the gym looking like she was walking the runway with not a hair out of place, and now she is walking the streets of NYC looking queer as ever. (I swear she googled ‘How to look like a lesbian’ before picking that second outfit…) And I’ve seen how much it confuses the swifties. And I’m here for it 😋 Question though, if she’s going into the studio looking this gay, is the music coming out of these sessions going to be equally💅 ?

Something is brewing and 1989tv is the next thing on the horizon, so let’s look at that.

Midnight and Sunrise

Having been introduced to our new Taylor at the beginning of Midnights, she’s taken us through the main album, then the 3am bonus tracks, to the til dawn edition. With every new midnights edition we have worked our way through the night from midnight, to 3am, to dawn. So, next would be sunrise, right? And there have actually been a few mentions of sunrise and daylight in both the 1989tv marketing and other media coverage. I’ve spoken about the midnights to daylight theory before, as it’s one that many Gaylors have speculated on, but I think there has been quite a bit of movement on this recently.

Firstly, there is the yellow 1989tv vinyl that is conveniently named the ‘Sunrise Boulevard edition’. Not only does it have the word sunrise in it, it is also a direct reference to the Stonewall National Museum & Archive, which is located on this road in Fort Lauderdale, FL. And with the emergence of all the other variations of the 1989tv vinyl, it is easy to spot that they all have a sunlit beach theme (a big change from the OG 1989 city theme!) and with the recent leak of a purple version on the website of a record shop, we now have a full rainbow of 1989tv vinyls. Sunrise and rainbows… I think I have an idea where this may be going. But hang on, there is more.

Remember when I said that the Stonewall National Archive knows something we don’t? A few days ago, they posted this on their Instagram with lyrics from Taylor’s happiness, highlighting and italicising the word sunrise and pointing everybody’s nose in the caption to their address at 1300 E Sunrise Boulevard:

This feels VERY intentional. And I’ve never really looked at the happiness lyrics in that way, having taken the song to be about Scott B and her old label, but when Stonewall is using these exact lines in that context, with a strong suggestion that they have insider knowledge, it seems worth looking at them again.

In the caption, SNMAL say that they ‘celebrate the glorious sunrise of LGBTQ+ history’ with the pride flag and sunshine emoji. So, could it be that the Sunrise Blvd vinyl and accompanying rainbow variations of 1989tv are going to bring some kind of moment in history for LGBTQ people? It certainly sounds like this is about more than just Taylor. Perhaps furthering the theory that there may be a double album on the horizon with the second one being all collaborations. Stonewall also liked a comment on this post that said that something is in the air 🌈

They also included the line about flickers of light from the dress I wore at midnight. Flickers of light, as in glimpses of her queerness? The ones we are seeing now in all those articles are social posts? The mention of a dress immediately throws my mind back to the rainbow dress that Billy Porter ended up wearing at World Pride 2019, but that was almost certainly meant for Taylor. And out of all the photos of Taylor from the VMAs this year, which one did GLAAD choose to post on their Instagram in September? Yep, the one with Billy Porter. Takes me back to 2019… and something else does too, actually: The Cruel Summer live single release.

Cruel Summer was released as a single this June, 4 years after its initial release. And almost made it to No.1. It was certainly on the radio A LOT. The Lover set is also the opening act of the Eras tour, so this summer has certainly had some 2019 throwbacks. And remember how the Lover era started? With ME! Out now! on Lesbian Visibility Day, followed by the sunshine and rainbows parade that was the mv and (as we later learned from the documentary) 'Cats, unicorns and gay pride... things that make me ME.' And now, in October 2023, Taylor released a live version of Cruel Summer and used the very photo from the 2019 shoot as a cover for the single. And not only was that a 2019 photo shoot, it was the last photo she posted on her instagram in June 2019 before she was meant to wear the dress at NYC Pride. I think she captioned it something like 'calm before the storm'. And now that photo has made a comeback. If I were a betting woman...(and I've learned better than to ever make predictions when it comes to Miss Taylor Swift these days) but if I were I'd say it looks like she's taking another run at this. Meet ME at midnight...and then follow me into the daylight. ☀

And one more thing before I conclude this monstrosity of an essay, I found Taylornation's post for the midnights anniversary last week a bit mysterious:

It says 'Tonight we celebrate an album written by the one that could make us stay. After all the sleepless nights and friendship bracelets we've shared, we hope you know you're never really on your own, kid.' Sounds a bit like a pep talk (and a plea at the same time) to me. Why do the fans need reminding of the good times and be asked to stay? Where would they go and why?? And the first picture in the carousel is our girl 'home Taylor' from the Anti Hero mv, looking contemplative, maybe waiting for someone to come and finally let her out of that house. And the photo immediately after it is Taylor as we know her, smiling for photos with her fans at the movie premier. The two Taylors again...but one is in black and white and the other is in screaming colour 😉iykyk.

[thevelaryons]

I love how GRRM always positions various Velaryon brothers as having a close bond with each other. Although not much is known about some of the sibling dynamics in the family, when GRRM chooses to write about them, it is with a sense of brotherhood and unity.

Even in such instances where the relationship is only implied in the text, it is as a positive one. Aurane is a bastard and yet he integrates himself amongst the highborn without any issue, suggesting a somewhat polished upbringing in a castle. He also served in the Velaryon fleet, led by his trueborn half-brother Lord of Driftmark, Monford. It's mentioned in the books that bastard children are usually kept away from the family because they are viewed as a source of shame. It is considered very unusual for a bastard to be raised in a castle with their trueborn family (re: Jon Snow). But that could certainly be the case with the Bastard of Driftmark. His moniker does suggest a close association with house Velaryon which means he was not a bastard that was hidden away. Especially when you consider that Aurane, despite being very treacherous and self-serving, never once does anything against his brother's family. When he sets his sight on a castle he wants to claim, it is not Driftmark, but another castle. He sails his powerful fleet past Driftmark thrice and makes no move to attack the seat governed by his late brother’s son even though house Velaryon is in service to the rebel Stannis and Aurane is trying to ingratiate himself with the Lannister regime. Despite the commonly held belief that bastards will seek to harm their trueborn siblings, Aurane is not once shown acting against Monford or his remaining family at Driftmark. All his treachery is reserved for the Lannisters, who are more or less responsible for Monford’s death at the Battle of the Blackwater.

Addam & Alyn's relationship is a prime example of Velaryon brotherhood. Although the narrative presents their identity arcs as Velaryons differently (in relation to their parents), it’s done so in a manner that still connects the brothers to each other. Alyn’s actions are often framed in the text as a "what would Addam do in this situation?" way. They participate in the Red Sowing together and they clearly remained close enough to each other for the duration that Addam was quickly able to save Alyn's life. They get physically separated afterwards only because Alyn is bedbound from his burns. Alyn openly laughs in the face of a King who calls him brother and says that a "brother by blood" is the only true form of brotherhood. Years after Addam's death, Alyn still honors his brother with a touching memorial.

There are several instances of brotherly love shown between Jace/Luke/Joff as well. From defending each other from a bully to all three echoing each other in upholding their mother's claim, they are always in sync. The loss of a brother is expressed openly and the desire for vengeance too.

The more minor instances of brotherhood in the family further showcase this.

Sometimes it's as simple as hanging out together to serve as royal escorts:

Though Daemon Velaryon, as the Crown’s lord admiral and master of ships, was in King’s Landing with the regents, that did not prevent Jaehaerys and Alysanne from flying their dragons to Driftmark and touring his shipyards, escorted by his sons, Corwyn, Jorgen, and Victor.

Other times it's plotting together. The Silent Five may be committing treason, but they do that as a united front:

When they took their case before the sick and failing Viserys, they made the grievous mistake of questioning the legitimacy of his daughter’s children. Viserys had their tongues removed for this insolence, though he let them keep their heads.

.

Three of the “silent five” had died during the Dance, fighting for Aegon II against Rhaenyra…but two survived.

[...]

“Lacking tongues with which to make their appeal, they preferred to argue with swords,” says Mushroom. However, the plot to murder their young lord went awry when the guards at Castle Driftmark proved loyal to the Sea Snake’s memory and his chosen heir. Ser Malentine was slain during the attempt; his brother captured.

The Velaryon brothers who act within the law are also depicted taking action together each time. Interesting how it's not specified which of the two wishes to claim Driftmark for himself, over the other. They are partners in all that they do and that's all that matters:

All came forward now, insisting that they had more right to Driftmark than “this bastard of Hull, whose mother was a mouse.” Ser Vaemond’s sons Daemion and Daeron took their claim to the council in King’s Landing. When the Hand and the regents ruled against them, they wisely chose to accept the decision and be reconciled with Lord Alyn.

I just think it’s neat that regardless of the circumstances of the characters’ upbringing, whether trueborn or bastard, there’s a supportive bond between Velaryon brothers each time.

[thedrarrylibrarian]

One of my favorite things about doing Happy Hour is facilitating guests and encouraging them to be creative with their recs. Whether you want to format with bullet points or use emojis or write a paragraph-form rec, I love seeing guests give their favorite ficswith their style. When I asked our wonderful @phdmama to join and be a Happy Hour guest, she had the wonderful idea to change it up a bit and give her re-read recs, and I think you'll be so thrilled with what she came up with. Enjoy!

When The Drarry Librarian invited me to participate in Happy Hour, I was SO excited and honored, because, well - they’re doing such wonderful lovely things in fandom, and who doesn’t adore hyping up a fic they love? But as I thought about it, I realized that so many of the fics I wanted to rec were older and well-known, but they’re the fics that came to my mind because I’ve read them so many times.

Which got me to thinking about the role of rereading in fandom, and how it works for me. Now, I know there are lots of people who never reread, and there are lots of people who maybe reread occasionally. (This is actually one of the things I adore about fandom, all the beautiful differences we bring to the table!) That’s just not how my mind works. I’ve always been a VERY COMMITTED (aka deeply obsessive) reader and as I think back over my reading life, I’ve also always been a REreader.

Reading, quite literally, has saved my life and transformed it. So I thought I’d highlight of few of those fics that have impacted me so profoundly. These fics are comfort food for my brain. These are fics I come back to, over and over and over again. They live in my soul. (For the purposes of this piece, I’ll stick to Drarry fics, but there are these special fics in every fandom I read in, and we all know, I read very widely in lots of fandoms - it’s truly an embarrassment of riches!)

Two notes: 

I would recommend pretty much anything by these authors (read the tags etc etc) &

Limiting myself to just a few was SO SO difficult and I know I’m leaving out so many of my favorite authors and fics but I wanted to ACTUALLy write this!

Foundations by saras_girl (236,075 words, rated E)

When one door closes, another one opens – with a bit of a push. Life, love and complications. [sequel to Reparations]

Now, I could probably put most of saras-girl’s fics on this list and call it a day, but this fic (the whole ‘verse honestly) hits me on so many levels. From a narrative standpoint, I absolutely adore the idea of Healer Harry, and this whole world is just so rich and fully realized. This fic hits the therapist/healer in me and it speaks to the way so many healers are, just as Draco is, so wounded and in our own journey. But even more so, this fic gave me a tool for when I was navigating my father’s dying, the tool of, “in this space, we can say whatever we want, whatever we’re thinking and feeling, without any apologizing, equivocating or shaming ourselves.” (The “we” in this case was my sister and me.) It felt like because I had read this, it gave me permission to live it, and I cannot begin to explain how necessary it was for me during that incredibly painful time. This fic hits grief and loss and how hard life can be sometimes but also it’s so beautifully healing.

One moment that gets me:

“Don’t say anything,” Harry pleads, and it’s almost a whisper. He doesn’t want to hear any 

reassuring words, were Draco inclined to begin offering them.

“What makes you think there’s anything I could say?” Draco murmurs against his ear and holds him tighter.

The Light More Beautiful by @firethesound (81,225 words, rated E)

Thirteen years after Draco accepts Potter's help escaping the horror of his sixth year, he returns to England where he makes the unfortunate discovery that Potter is still as obnoxious as ever. And worse, more than a decade overseas hasn't been enough to dim Draco's obsession with him.

I think this is one of the first Drarry fics I ever really just fell head over heels in love with. This was in my early days of navigating AO3 and I really didn’t understand it all. I read the fic, and lost track of it, and was thinking about it several months later. I ended up going through my entire history (IT TOOK A LONG TIME PALS) to find it because I just remembered loving it so much. Every time I reread it, I just fall more and more in love with it. I love that these are imperfect people, who’ve learned and grown and changed. I love the narrative voice in this - I think this fic really shaped both what I love to read (a sort of spare, dry, very funny until you get PUNCHED IN THE FEELINGS kind of voice) but also my own writing. This is the kind of voice I aspire to. 

A moment (one of many) that makes me laugh:

“Fuck off,” Draco says again, slapping his hand away. So much for Potter keeping his hands to himself.

“Come on!” Potter slides off the table, grabs him and pulls him into an awkward, shuffling sort of dance that consists mostly of hip-grinding and arse-groping and, to Draco’s horror, he starts belting out lyrics. Draco thinks he’s getting them horribly wrong until it clicks that Potter’s just making them up as he goes along. About the two of them. And well now, that’s just inappropriate.

“Stop it!” Draco says, trying to push Potter off him. It’s a struggle to keep from laughing, but he knows if he does it’ll only egg Potter on. “You’re not even singing the right words.” He doesn’t succeed in dislodging him. Merlin, Potter’s like an octopus. An octopus with a terrible singing voice and no sense of rhythm and a somewhat frightening sense of humour.

Draco finally makes him shut up by sticking his tongue in Potter’s mouth, and mercifully Potter’s more interested in snogging than in continuing his ridiculous made-up lyrics.

Balance, Imperfect by @bixgirl1 (91,000 words, rated E)

When Harry sustains an injury in the line of work, he no longer knows how to navigate the life he loved, and finds help and solace from the most unexpected source.

I was sort of wary going into this one. I have very complicated feelings about relationships between healers and their patients, and normally avoid that dynamic but this was recommended to me (I can’t even remember by whom) and I am so thankful I did try it, because it’s another one of my all-time favorites. This is another fic that really dives into the absolute complexity of disability, trauma and healing. We have real people who are amazing and flawed and beautiful and so, so real. One of the things I also love about this fic is that Harry isn’t “fixed” by magic - he heals, and he adapts but he’s profoundly changed by his experiences, and as a trauma survivor, this just resonated so so deeply for me.

A beautiful, poignant moment:

When Malfoy finally leaves him alone at the end of the night, Harry exhales for the first time in what feels like hours. His body feels tight and confusing; he wants to rage and throw things at the other man, wants to refuse his aid.

But there was a moment when Malfoy seemed so assured, so fucking confident that he could help, that Harry had been dazed with the force of his own longing, but couldn’t bring himself to ask if that help would be able to make him whole again.

He didn’t think he could stand hearing the word no.

Aurora by @wolfpants (5,230 words, rated M)

Eighth Year at a half-built Hogwarts, and Harry is not following Draco Malfoy anymore. At least, that's what he's telling himself.

This fic just breaks my heart in the most beautiful way (which wolfie knows cuz I just screech about it periodically). I love so many of the different iterations of post-war Harry but this is absolutely one of my favorites. He’s lost and struggling to find a way, and I love that journey for him. Wolfie’s such a wonderful writer, and this whole fic is just so delicate and beautiful. 

A moment that makes me cry EVERY SINGLE TIME (this writing OMG):

And that was how the two of them found themselves in an intense and hushed conversation out on the fields, the same fields Harry watched Charlie and Nicu kiss, where Ginny demanded too much of him and Harry cracked under her questions, questions, questions.

They came back to the house together, sticky-cheeked and red-eyed, and a week later, it all became clearer to Harry when Ron asked him about it on one of their forest walks. It became clearer when Harry had planted a misdirected kiss of his own to his friend’s lips, and Ron had let him, and had, for a while, allowed it to continue, until he slid his fingers gently over the nape of Harry’s neck and pressed their foreheads together and let Harry cry instead, and he told him, "it’s alright, it’s alright mate, no one’s going to hate you for this, it’s alright, we all love you, you just have to talk to us, you just have to know that we’re here for you, yeah? No matter who you are, alright? It’s alright. We just want you to be happy. It’s all we want."

Believe me when I say, there are SO SO many fics from so many brilliant writers that I wanted to include, it was incredibly hard to narrow down. I feel like I say this over and over again, but I’m so so grateful to all of you for sharing your gifts with fandom in all the ways you do. They’ve transformed my life in deep, profound, and permanent ways. Thank you.

And a huge thank you to thedrarrylibrarian for letting me share these thoughts and fics with you!!! 

   - xox phdmama

Thank you so much @phdmama for the amazing recs! It was a delight to have you join us!

[bodyalive]

Sarah Neville: Stepping into Rita Charon’s studio, in a Jazz Age-era building in Greenwich Village, I get a quick impression of a white-walled space bathed in the sunshine from two large windows that offer a sweeping view over the Lower Manhattan skyline. Everything in the room seems considered, from the Bach playing in the background to the paintings on the walls. One of them, “The Doctor”, is an idealised Victorian depiction of a devoted medic ministering to a child while anxious parents look on. It used to hang in Charon’s father’s office.

My meeting with Charon, founder of the “narrative medicine” movement that trains health professionals to use the power of storytelling in their work, is one I’ve been contemplating for 20 years. How, I’ve wondered, can such a humane approach fit into the time- and cash-constrained world of 21st-century healthcare? And who is this woman who, sometimes unsung, has done so much to change the way we think about the doctor-patient relationship?

Then, just as we sit down, I realise I’m setting out to tell the story of a practised assimilator of other people’s stories. At the core of her work, she says, is “what happens in the actual [moment of] two humans sitting, contacting one another with language, with the embodied self”. So we begin. Charon graduated from Harvard Medical School in 1978 and began practising general medicine. In the late 1980s, she started doctoral studies at Columbia University, focusing on Henry James and the role of literature in medicine. The work of the second half of her life has been to bring these two superficially oppositional realms together. She believes the emotional and imaginative insights contained in literature, art and music can transform the way healthcare workers treat patients and each other. Around 1990, she began teaching narrative medicine at Columbia and in 2009 launched a masters degree in the subject, the first of its kind. Since then, her approach has been deployed by healthcare practitioners across the US and abroad, from Greece to China. Formal evaluations have shown it improves participants’ capacity for reflection, in one study even reducing racial bias.

Charon tells me that for decades doctors were taught to conform to a model of ‘detached concern’ Her father, a doctor in Providence, Rhode Island, was an important influence. At one point, she goes to a filing cabinet containing all his medical records, which she acquired after he died. This part of his life had always been shut off to her; the close community in which they lived meant confidentiality was especially vital. But it turned out that his files combined the usual medical notations with far more personal references. It seemed to reflect a recognition that ailments could not be divorced from the wider context of their sufferers’ lives. Inspired, Charon began making more fulsome and impressionistic notes about her own patients.

The practised narratologist, she says, can pick up a lot in a short period, even at a time when there is pressure on doctors to keep appointments as brief as possible. “As you develop your skills of attention, you will notice things about your patients. You will be listening at a much higher pitch.” As doctors, the human body is, she says, “our material . . . I’m sitting here looking at you, noticing how you sit in the chair.” Emboldened, I ask what else she has picked up about me. She has spotted that my purple outer coat tones with the pink lining of my jacket: “You have taste because you’re not just helter-skelter putting the aqua with the olive green.” She has noticed my eyes: “Mostly the expression is filled with curiosity.” My sense of her, which deepens over the next three-and-a-half hours, is of a woman with a vast well of compassion, lit by a righteous fury about the inequities of US healthcare. “In Yiddish, we call it the Shanda, which is ‘the shame’. The shame of the system,” she says. “More and more clinicians . . . feel they’re being used by their employers. They know they’re doing shoddy work . . . They get tired of saying, ‘I’m sorry, I can only listen to one complaint per session. Bring that up the next time.’”

Truly listening to patients can be transformative, she says. “Patients on the whole really know what they need.” She recalls a young woman with poorly managed diabetes who arrived in her consulting room angry and frustrated. “I did my routine, which is get away from the computer, put my hands in my lap. Don’t write. Just say, ‘I’m going to be your doctor. Tell me what you think I should know.’” The woman looked as if she was going to cry but pulled herself together and glared. “You really want to know what I need? I need a new set of teeth.”

It was only then Charon noticed she’d had her hand covering her mouth as she talked. She had no upper teeth. Instead of fussing with the woman’s insulin levels, Charon arranged for her to be seen in the university’s dental clinic. “She shows up in a couple of months, and she is dazzling. She started a [catering] business in her house. Her [blood] sugars were better than they had been in a while. And she was much more active — she’s going to parties, she’s dancing! It was such a lesson to me. Why on earth would you start anywhere else but ‘Tell me where we should start’?”

I’m intrigued by the extent to which this approach requires an inversion of the traditional power relationship between doctor and patient. She tells me that for decades doctors were taught to conform to a model of “detached concern”. In fact, “engaged concern is going to get you farther than detached concern. Detachment looks an awful lot like coldness.” Instead, Charon believes in making space for the imagination. “The more you exert your own creativity, the better your medicine will be. It’s making leaps . . . I don’t like the word intuition because it sounds like magic. But the ability to see the known from the unknown — that’s what poetry does.”

In the early 2000s, Charon tried something new. After finishing a consultation and making notes like any doctor would, “I would turn the keyboard and the monitor around and say, ‘I know what I saw. But please finish the note.’ I would leave them alone for five minutes, and they wrote the damnedest things!” A college professor wrote “that she knew that she was a good teacher and that this really gave her pride.” The sentiment astonished Charon because it had not surfaced during their conversations, which had been dominated by the woman’s health woes and difficult relationship with her daughter. An idea occurs. As I am drawing our conversation to a close, I ask her to finish this interview. Is there anything else I should know? She confides that after she quit her practice in 2015 to concentrate on running her programme at Columbia, she felt an overwhelming sense of relief that she could hand over responsibility for her patients. (“Somebody else is going to worry about Lucy.”)

It was several weeks before she identified the gap that had opened up in her life: “I was terribly missing the chance to do random acts of kindness.” As a physician, the scope for moments of generosity is “drastic”, she says, whether ringing a patient’s sister to update her, helping put someone’s socks on after an examination or rubbing the feet of a terminally ill patient. There is something heartbreaking about the disproportionate gratitude these interventions elicit, she says. “I think their expectations for us are so low.”

Narrative medicine can, she suggests, endow clinicians with the ability to see an issue from multiple perspectives, a power she likens to “the compound eye of the fly”. It can help them to understand and value those they care for in all their uniqueness and complexity. “We ought to treat every patient as the deepest mystery,” she says.

Sarah Neville is the FT’s global health editor

[seeyouspacecoyote]

Rating Record of Ragnarok as a series:

Random personal opinions about Record of Ragnarok all condensed into one shiny, spick and span, semi-coherent post, courtesy of yours truly:

Plot: Being a basic tournament style fighting anime, it's either your thing or not and fighting tournament animes are very, very much my thing. That said, the execution can vary, although I think in Record of Ragnarok, it's fairly good, even though the series itself suffers from a sense of predictability due to the basic nature of the plot itself and the fact that there are only 13 rounds (most likely.)

Also, there are different ways to set up fighting tournament animes, some are just straight up one on one matches where one fighter is eliminated each round, which Record of Ragnarok does, while others are more set up like an elimination roulette where you have various matches that eliminate one contestant but then the winner moves on the next round to fight someone else, and so on and so forth until you reach a point where there are only two fighters left and then the two of the fight until you only have one guy left standing. I do tend to prefer the latter, if only because it allows us to see fighters who win a match more often in-universe, but for Record of Ragnarok, the simpler one on one style with no further participating from the winners of each match works.

Characters: For the most part, I like the character designs in Record of Ragnarok, every character is very visually distinct and the art style is fucking amazing. I especially appreciate the large (no pun intended,) amount of attractive men. There are also many different types of men featured among all the fighters too, so no matter what your tastes are, you'll probably find someone you like if you're into men. Of course, in my case, the ones I like seem to die more often, but eh, that's my luck in pretty much every series I ever get into.

As for character development, Record of Ragnarok can be very, very inconsistent, but when it hits, it hits. Unfortunately, though some characters get very good character development, some other characters get severely neglected in the process, especially in each fight, as in some fights, it's quite obvious that one character gets disproportionate focus and narrative significance than the other one does, which makes some of the fights feel very lopsided and uneven from a storytelling perspective.

Also, another nitpick I have with the character development is that, for a series that's about humans fighting gods, the gods get disproportionately more screen-time, focus, and character development compared the the human fighters. Almost all the gods, except for Thor, play a rather significant role in the plot or get much more backstory than the human characters do, even the gods that didn't show up in-universe at all until their fights (for the ones that happen to be fighters in the tournament.)

In particular, some of the human fighters feel wasted as characters, like the authors never gave them the chance to live up to their potential, and some of the rounds felt very rushed as a result. I also would have liked to see a wider range of human fighters from different cultures and countries, and having two different Japanese swordsman on the roster on the human side is a choice, but not one I would have made (personally, I would have kept Kojiro, but I'd exchange Okita for someone else.) At the very least, for the human side, I would have preferred if they had picked one Japanese swordsman and one Japanese ninja to at least add more variety to the fighting itself.

On the gods side, there are too many Greek gods and I'd rather see a few other gods from some other cultures or countries as opposed to having 4 spots on the roster taken by Greek gods. As much as I love Greek mythology, there's literally a whole world of cultures and mythologies the authors could have taken inspiration from and it's a shame that the focus is so narrow and limited.

Pacing: The pacing is pretty on-point, given that the whole thrust (no pun intended) of the plot is one-on one fights to the death that are meant to determine the fate of the human race. Still, it does feel a bit like going on a super fast roller-coaster at times, and sometimes I have to re-read chapters to figure out what actually happened. A few more chapters devoted to world-building or character development would help fix this problem in my opinion.

Other: Despite some characters receiving very little development, even when it would have greatly improved their characters if they had, almost every character in this series is unique and memorable in their own way, which is hard to pull off, and I give the authors credit for that. Love them or hate them, there's a lot of different characters with different and unique personalities in this series and that's something I always love and appreciate in a story, so kudos to the authors for giving us such a fun, interesting series with such a colorful cast of characters. My only complaint is that I wish we got to see them interact with each other more and that each fighter in each round got a more equal amount of focus and development.

Overall, Record of Ragnarok is a fun, interesting fighting tournament series and though I don't necessarily like or agree with all of the writing decisions the authors made, it's one of the most entertaining series I've found in years and it's inspired my writing and given me a wealth of creative ideas and I'm glad I discovered it.

[mediaevalmusereads]

Hazardous Spirits. By Anbara Salam. Tin House, 2023.

Rating: 2.5/5 stars

Genre: historical fiction

Series: N/A

Summary: In 1920s Edinburgh, Scotland, Evelyn Hazard is a young, middle-class housewife living the life she’s always expected―until her husband Robert upends everything with a startling announcement: he can communicate with the dead.

As the couple is pulled into the spiritualist movement―an underground, occult society of ritual and magic that emerged following the mass deaths of the Spanish Flu and First World War―Evelyn’s carefully composed world begins to unravel. And when long-held secrets from her past threaten to come to the surface, presenting her with the prospect of losing all she holds dear, Evelyn finds herself unable to avoid the question: is the man she loves a fraud, a madman or―most frighteningly―is he telling the truth?

Cloaked in a moody, beguiling backdrop of twentieth-century Scotland, Anbara Salam’s Hazardous Spirits brings a sparkling sense of period detail and dry humor to the life of a young woman calibrating her place in a changing world, and her shifting relationship with a man she thought she knew.

***Full review below.***

Content Warnings: none?

Overview: This book appeared on a list of anticipated historical fiction books for 2023, so I figured I'd give it a go. I really enjoyed the premise of this book and I wondered what spiritualism in the 1920s might look like (since a lot of my familiarity is with 19th century spiritualism). Overall, though, I found this book to be a bit bland. It has a lot of fascinating potential, but with a grating protagonist and a plot that doesn't so much develop as it does meander, I can only give it 2.5 stars.

Writing: Salam's prose is genrally pretty good on a sentence and paragraph level. It flows easily and clearly describes the actions of the scene, and there are some moments when I was completely taken with the atmosphere.

However, I do think some things could be improved. For one, Salam tends to overuse certain phrases, such as "chewing her finger/lip" or "her stomach gurgled" when Evelyn is uneasy. It gave me the impression that Evelyn had digestive issues. For two, some of the transitions between present and flashback are a little abrupt and confusing. It might have helped if Salam changed tenses or something to signal we were entering the past.

Also (and this might be a nitpicky thing), I was a little disappointed that the setting didn't play more of a role. This book is set in the 1920s and Salam makes a point of bringing up both the Great War and the Spanish Flu epidemic, but personally, I didn't feel like either calamity was a kind of spectre hanging over the characters and influencing how they reacted to things. It's a shame, since that period is ripe for nuanced discussions of death and grief.

Plot: The plot of this book follows Evelyn Hazard, a 1920s housewife whose life is turned upside down when her husband, Robert, declares that he can communicate with the dead. As Robert becomes more and more involved in the spiritualist movement, Evelyn becomes more and more uneasy, torn between her fear that Robert might be participating in a scam or worse... that he might be telling the truth.

On paper, this plot seems like a great opportunity for exploring the uneasiness that comes with uncertainty. On top of that, Evelyn has something of a family secret - something about her dead sister, Dolly - that threatens to destroy her life, and I'm always a sucker for a well-to-do family with a dark past.

However, a lot of the suspense was killed (at least for me) because Evelyn's uncertainty doesn't quite create narrative tension until the last 50 pages or so. Until then, this book feels like a character study, which would have been great except we aren't necessarily shown the stakes of Evelyn's character arc or made to want what she wants. Part of the hurdle might be because Salam doesn't provide much backstory or context to her characters; without that orientation, I felt I was given little reason to care about whether or not Robert could actually commune with spirits or whether or not Evelyn advanced in society. There aren't any scenes that show us why Evelyn personally cares so much about other people's opinions, and there wasn't a reason for me to care whether or not people thought less of her for Robert's spiritualism. Spiritualism is supposedly taboo amongst "respectable" families, but Evelyn makes a lot of rich friends who are super into seances and the like. There might have been some evolution in her opinion of her friends and her desire for respectability again, but even so, that mainly comes in the last 100 pages. As a result, a lot of Evelyn's concerns about appearances and respectability come across as shallow, and we don't really grapple with that shallowness until the very end.

With such a vague sense of direction, I couldn't quite decide if this book was supposed to be some kind of 1920s disillusionment novel or a historical fiction book about grief and appearances. While some ambiguity and overlap regarding genre, message, and tone is ok, I felt like I struggled to discern what this book was trying to do and what kind of story it wanted to tell. It definitely wasn't spooky, which is fine, but it also didn't feel like it was delving too deeply into the nuances of grief, social class, or spiritualism. Salam does try to insert a more coherent theme in the last 50 pages or so, but the plot up until that point felt so loose that it was hard to see each scene as building up to a moment of (narrative) crisis.

Characters: Evelyn, our protagonist, was a bit irritating in that she didn't seem to have any strong motivations or desires. While she seems concerned about appearances to some degree, her concerns came across as shallow and we don't quite have the time to grapple with that shallowness. She also seems constantly distracted and thinks some rather rude thoughts about people, and when she does have strong emotions or is flustered, she reads more like a naive girl than a grown woman. As a result, it was hard for me to get a handle on her and figure out exactly what her arc was about. Salam doesntry to fit a theme in towards the end, perhaps about Evelyn standing up for her own desires, but I didnt feel like the rest of the book did a good job of supporting a character arc.

Robert, Evelyn's husband, was clearly a man who was eager to help others while also desperately wanting to keep Evelyn happy. While I wasn't really clear on the status of Robert and Evie's relationship (they never really felt like a loving couple), I do think Robert was shown to be someone who would jump at any chance to please his wife. But even so, it was hard to see Robert as multi-faceted because his mien was so golden retriever-like. Even when he got kind of snippy towards the end of the book, I felt like the change was abrupt and Salam could have shown Robert's pursuit of fame and attention through a more gradual change in demeanor.

Kitty, Evelyn's younger sister, was perhaps the most well-written character in that she served a clear purpose. She was constantly brushing off Robert's spiritualism and reassuring Evelyn of its harmlessness, all while offering support during rough patches in the narrative. Kitty's scenes also did a good job showcasing the tension between (and within) middle class families, so I felt like her scenes could have been used a lot more purposefully to create doubt or unease in contrast to the spiritualism.

Vikram and the rich crowd were kind of fun in an eccentric, decadent story of way, but it was admittedly hard to keep track of them all. Some of these side characters were written better than others; the best was certainly Flossie, who was a skeptic and formed a complex relationship with Evelyn.

My biggest problem with a lot of the side characters, though, is that a lot of them seemed like they could have had compelling arcs, but most of them just kind of fizzled out once the plot about the missing boy took center stage. Some of these minor character threads felt unfinished, but maybe that was intentional. I don't know.

TL;DR: Hazardous Spirits has a lot of potential to be a deeply compelling book about spiritualism and appearances in the 1920s, but is ultimately held back by an unclear narrative direction and an irritating protagonist. While I can see some of the themes Salam was trying to explore, I personally didn't feel like everything came together in a satisfying way, and I wish more work had been put into building up a stronger narrative.

[anniekoh]

Two books to read, one I just read, on diet culture and anti-fat bias.

You Just Need to Lose Weight and 19 Other Myths About Fat People by Aubrey Gordon (2023)

Fat Talk: Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture by Virginia Sole-Smith (2023)

Excerpt: Chapter 1:

https://virginiasolesmith.substack.com/p/the-myth-of-the-childhood-obesity#details

In this illuminating narrative, journalist Virginia Sole-Smith exposes the daily onslaught of fatphobia and body shaming that kids face from school, sports, doctors, diet culture, and parents themselves--and offers strategies for how families can change the conversation around weight, health, and self-worth. Fat Talk is a stirring, deeply researched, and groundbreaking book that will help parents learn to reckon with their own body biases, identify diet culture, and empower their kids to navigate this challenging landscape. Sole-Smith draws on her extensive reporting and interviews with dozens of parents and kids to offer a provocative new approach for thinking about food and bodies, and a way for us all to work toward a more weight-inclusive world.  

Interview with Sole-Smith: https://annehelen.substack.com/p/how-to-have-the-fat-talk

Also! Excerpt of Chapter 9 (on fathers) in The Atlantic. Excerpt of Chapter 5 (on the diet culture of doctors) in TIME.

Fat Girls Hiking: An Inclusive Guide to Getting Outdoors at Any Size or Ability by Summer Michaud-Skog (2022)

I loved how Michaud-Skog describes the evolution of FGH (www.instagram.com/fatgirlshiking/), from their personal social media account, into a hashtag and platform that featured lots of people who “rallied around inclusivity, fat activism and accessibility in the outdoors” and, how that evolution (and expansion/visibility) required an evolution in purpose and clarity in mission. Some quotes (slightly remixed) below:

In the beginning, some people thought FGH was a motivational group for people to lose weight. And since body positivity and self-love had increased traction in the mainstream as part of a pro-diet and weight-loss agenda, I had to again adjust the language around what Fat Girls Hiking is and what it is not. I created community guidelines so anyone attending an event or group hike or participating in the community online could engage in a way that would be best for the care of the community. FGH doesn’t allow diet or weight-loss talk. We also don’t allow racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, classism, ableism or any form of bigotry. These guidelines are now part of our mission statement, which I constantly post about (every hike and event description includes them) because social media often feels like a never-ending battle against anti-fat diet-culture trolls.

...

Over time, I adjusted the FGH guidelines through my experiences to curate the space I wanted to thrive in and offer to others. My goal is online and real-life spaces and communities where we can all by fully who we are without shame or justification or explanation. Initially, I made the mistake of saying all were welcome. But that’s not actually true. I won’t welcome bigots into this community. If someone is bothered by the fact that I talk not only about being a fat woman in the outdoors but also about being queer, then this community may not be for them. If someone is looking for a place to share how they have lost weight through hiking a lot, this is not the community for them.

People can do whatever they want with their bodies and participate or not in diet and weight-loss culture, but in this tiny microcosm on the internet, I won’t allow it. It’s okay though - there are literally thousands of places online and IRL where you can talk about diet culture. It’s everywhere.

In order to keep the online FGH space free from diet culture, weight-loss talk, body shaming, and any form of bigotry, I had to invest time in creating language and tactics for when trolls or anyone else comes into the space without respect for the guidelines.

I also appreciated the honesty in the lack of actual people showing up to the first group hikes, even though people had requested them and were enthusiastic about them on social media. The transition from online interest into physical presence is not a guarantee (as anyone who has looked at the # of Eventbrite / FB event rsvps vs actual attendees knows).

As my politics grew more radical, I cared less and less about corporations or magazines acknowledging my work - it’s the community and all the people in it who motivate me, and I’m fiercely protective of them. I eventually stopped using the term body positive* because I didn’t like the implication that I, or anyone else who lives in a fat or marginalized body, had to be positive about being widely oppressed.

... It’s clear to me that the work I do with FGH is fat activism. Fat activists are still figuring out the best language to describe our work. Fat positivity centers the fat body, but some activists have moved away from using the term positivity, as it creates an unrealistic ideal that we must always feel positive about our fat bodies. Fat acceptance is a term used by activists to create a broader, more neutral understanding for folks living in bigger bodies.

In my own activism, I gravitate toward the terms body liberation and fat liberation. Body liberation recognizes the need for distance from diet culture’s toxicity and freedom from the societal, cultural, and systemic oppression anyone in a marginalized body faces. Fat liberation recognized the specific intersection of folks in fat marginalized bodies.**

* author includes short discussion on its creation by fat Black women and subsequent co-option and transformation into diet-entrenched spaces

** author on spectrum of fatness, as developed by The Fat Lip podcast, and being a midsize fat woman, e.g. being able to find clothes in stores, mostly (sometimes painfully) fit in seats and physical spaces

[dcmcboxers]

this sums up some thoughts I've been having pretty well. It's why I really don't like the conversation around gendered experiences growing up. this is something that I have to carry with me and have to examine.

Having a vagina means shame and secrecy is the baseline for any kind of sexual expression. You are trained to ignore or police sexual desire. you are not expected to have it or take pleasure in it. sex is demonized and it can be done so convincingly because the cost of pregnancy is your entire life falling apart.

bodily autonomy and agency is something you have to fight tooth and nail for at such a fundamental level.

I'm 26 and I still have scars and hangs ups about sex and sexuality. there is a deep set undercurrent of shame I have to jump through hoop after hoop after hoop to overcome. (ironically it's through the same kind of kink that others who are more repressed than I am are afraid of.)

I think it's related to the lesbian to trans masc pipeline. because there is an unfortunate fear of penises and pregnancy that becomes jumbled together. being a lesbian felt "safe" and because of that framework, it's easy to further complicate the relationships between trans mascs and trans femmes.

I stayed in the lesbian stage all through adolescence. it wasn't until I moved out in my twenties and I had more agency and autonomy that I felt safer to reexamine my gender and the genital biases I had before. for others and myself.

many other trans mascs just don't get here. they got locked into friend groups of people equally afraid and ashamed of sex, if not more so. purity (moral but also with it's obvious connotations to virginity) was the social currency.

Not helped that there's not really space for trans mascs in the cis gay community. probably the most sex positive space you could be in. it feels extremely insular and foreign and it hurts. it hurts to feel like there's no point in trying. (no one ever saw the aggressives either so forget the historical shared space between trans mascs and lesbians).

All this to say I do not condone anyone participating in callouts. But I recognize that I was relatively lucky in dodging social pressures, traumas, and narratives that made this culture extremely pervasive. I understand why they're wrapped up in what is a destructive culture for them as well.

I went through two incidents where my social circle blew up and I had rumors spread about me and my friends, was harassed or excluded online and in person, etc. it's an awful fucking thing to do and the methodology has become more and more precise in excising pain and ruining lives. trans mascs were doing it to themselves first. it's just sad.

[l-in-c-future]

Book Reading: Justice-What's the right thing to do?

Patriotism and Solidarity

In the chapter of dilemmas of loyalty, Michael J Sandel raised numerous questions: 1. Do citizens have obligations to one another that go beyond the duties they have to other people in the world? And if they do, can these obligations be accounted on the basis of consent alone?

2. Is solidarity a prejudice for our own kind?

Sandel argued that for those who believe that patriotism has a moral base to believe they have special responsibilities for the welfare of their fellow citizens, then they must accept the third category of obligation-obligations of solidarity or membership can't be reduced to an act of consent.

For those who do not agree that they have special obligations to their family, comrades, or fellow citizens, they argued that the so-called obligations of solidarity are actually just instance of collective selfishness, prejudice for our own kind because the critics heightend concern for one's own people a parochial, inward-looking tendency that we should have overcome rather than valorise in the name of patriotism or fraternity.

Yet in Sandler's view, it solidarity doesn't necessary to be like this. Obligation of solidarity can point outward as well as inward. Some of the special responsibilities from the particular communities a person inhabits may owe to fellow members/citizens. But others a person may owe to those with whom his/her community/society/country has a morally burdened history, as relation of Germans to Jews, or of American whites to African Americans. (Also the white Australians to the First Nation Peoples.)

In these situations, collective apologies and reparations for historical injustices are good examples of the way solidarity can create moral responsibilities for communities other than one's own. Making amends for my country's past wrongs is one way of affirming one's own allegiance to it.

Such moral solidarity beyond one's own sac can apply to other chronical ethnic conflicts because both sides can owe each other the same injustices and unless such are acknowledged and ready to be remedied, it is hard to reconcile towards peace. That was the case of Rwanda peace reconciliation. That will be the most constructive way to resolve the deadlock ethnic hatred driven war in Palestine, the ethnic violence in the highlands of PNG, and the ethnic persecution of the Rohingya people in Myanmar.

Sandler was of the view that sometimes solidarity can give us special reason to criticise our own peole or the actions of our government. Patriotism can compel dissent. He cited the case of the opposition of the Vietnam War by the Americans in 1970s on two grounds.

the war was unjust.

the war was unworthy of the Americans and at odds with who they were as a people that linked to the sense of pride and shame. A Swede or anybody in the world could oppose the Vietname War and consider it unjust, but ONLY an American could feel ashamed of it. This capacity for pride and shame in the actions of family members and fellow citizens is related to the capacity for collective responsibility. Both require seeing ourselves as situated selves-claimed by moralities we have not chosen and implicated in the narratives that shape our identity as moral agents.

Further common examples of such pride and shame was cited. e.g. Americans traveling abroad can be embarrassed when they encounter boorish behaviours by American tourists, even though they don't know the person personally. Non-Americans might find the same behaviours disreputable but could not be embarrassed by it.

It is not hard to see the application of these principles in today's world with more recent profound examples. Nalvany and all his predecessors who criticized Putin were driven by their love of Russia. Those who oppose the Ukraine invasion in Russia are the same because they know the war is unjust, unworthy and in fact participation in it is committing war crimes against humanity.

Same as the dissidents of China because they can't resonate with the wicked deeds committed by the autocratic CCP. What they are doing is no different from every honoured genuine loyals to the Chinese peoples in the Chinese history despite their actions and words offended different rulers of different dynasties at different eras who crimed them as dissidents.

History doesn't judge loyalty and integrity as blind obedience to the ruling authorities. History crowns the real loyalty BEYOND times and dynasties.

Same as the case of bullying and intimidating Mainland China tourists behaviours. Only a Chinese can feel ashame of the uncivilised behaviours because the poor perceptions by the international communities inflict shame on every Chinese or even innocent Asians who are being misunderstood for being in the same buckets. Chinese who DO NOT share and DO NOT commit uncivilised behaviours are unjustly judged and shamed by indirect discrimination. Therefore, to some, we have the moral responsibilities to be the accute critics of our own people. In this sense, it is what Chinese say, the more we love, the harsher we criticise because it is part of our own natural reflections of our own issues. In these sense, those who have the capabilities to criticise and even to the extent of being seen as being 'dissidents' are in fact showing their ways of patriotism to their fellow people with deep moral sense of pride and shame. On the other hand, a narrow inward looking of 'patriotism' view imposed by the authority out of obssession for their own pride and prejudice about their 'faces' is not the real love for the country.

"With belonging comes responsibiliy. You can't really take pride in your country and its past if you are unwilling to acknowledge any responsibility for carrying its story to the present, and dischraging the moral burdens that come with it."

This is why some countries never able to move forward from their historical wrongs they committed.

In this chapter, Sandler questioned people like Henry Hyde, John Howard and others he cited. To insist that we are, as individuals, responsible only for the choices we make and the acts we perform makes it difficult to take ride in the history and traditions of one's country. Anybody can admire the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution (by the way the Australian Constitution doesn't even provide equal rights of all people before the laws), Linclon's Gettysburg Address, the fallen heros honoured in Arlington National Cementry and so on. But patriotic pride requires a sense of belonging to a community extended across time. (i.e. can stand the test of ages beyond change of politics, political ideologies, political regimes and systems). History doesn't define and crown patroitism pledge link to one particular government, ruler and regime.

History crowns those who were willing to sacrifice all they had priviledged, even their own lives to serve and do good for the peoples they pledged love and loyalty. This is why Nalvany, the critics of Putin and Soviet Union, the oppositions of Hitler in Germany, the critics of those in powers and authorities in any time because the peoples refuse to blindly endorsed the wrongs for the goods of their own countries out of a broader solidarity of humanity.

And that naturally led to the next question: Can loyalty (to one's own community/society/country) override universal moral principle? Sandel's answer is: as long as we don't violate anyone's rights, we can fulfill the general duty to help others by helping those who are close at hand. Similarly, there's nothing wrong with a rich country setting up a generous welfare state for its own citizens, provided it respects the human rights of persons everywhere. Obligations of solidarity are objectionable only if they lead us to violate a natural duty.

The best example to illustrate this principle was found in the same chapter-Israel authority's rescue operations of Ethiopia Jews in 1984 and 1991. The operation managed to airlift 21000 Ethiopia Jews to Israel but it faced severe opposition from the Arab countries. Why? In the Arab countries' eyes, they knew that every Jewish settler added to Israel's controll and occupied lands would mean direct taking away further lands, properties and rights of the Palestinians in Palestine. While Israel authority has the state policy to 'save' by welcoming every Jews in the entire world back to their ancestry homeland, this is perpeuated by depriving and eliminating the Palestinians's human rights of survival. The ethnic base airliftings operation did not create equal rights of humanitarian aids to be received between the Ethiopia Jews and the rest of Ethopian peoples who suffered from the same famine.

If everyone suffered the same calamity of natural disaster, why some people deserved more humane treatments than others? Why didn't every Ethiopian person being airlifted out of the calamity? This was a broader equality and justice consideration beyond Arabs and the Jews' ethnic grudges. It is something about humanitarian aids given to any suffering community should NEVER be granted and priviledged just on ethnic basis. The lives of all other Ethiopian peoples were as valuable as the Ethiopian Jews as fellow human beings to everyone else of us in this world because we are part of the same community of fellow humans.

Patriotism is not narrowly inward set. Not the false narrations portraited by D Trump, Putin, Xi Jin Ping and Netanyahu. One cannot really be pride as a decent human being and be loyal to the nobility of human being as part of the SAME community of the species unless we can go beyond nationality, ethnic and ideological boundaries to humbly acknowledge and confess the historical wrongs and injustice inflicted by our precedessors AND the courageous to rights the wrongs to progress together as part of the human being bigger communities, for with whom, what else can we really belong to?!

[c-40]

A-T-3 098 Algorithm & Blues Pt.2

Let's start with a story. In the mid 1970s New York City ran out of cash and in the Bronx landlords were setting fire residential buildings in order to get the insurance, giving it the name the burnt down Bronx. The Bronx looked like a war zone, it had been abandoned by the city and given up to adolescent street gangs. This is where Kool Herc began throwing parties. Lance Taylor was a "warlord" in the Black Spades gang, on his return to the Bronx after visiting Africa and meeting Zulu chieftains he changed his name to Afrika Bambaataa and transformed the Black Spades into the Universal Zulu Nation. Rival gangs showed up at Herc's parties which led to violence so Bam stepped in and organised a truce between the gangs convincing them to put down their guns and begin dancing. Breakdancing was born. "The roots of break dancing are steeped in hostility and frustration searching for a means of expression. Breaking was a way to cope and resolve gang quarrels. Ultimately, it became a mechanism of truce between rival gangs." The dance comes from mimicking kung fu movies, originally learned to defend yourself from rival gangs and evolved into the complex and athletic moves that characterise modern breakdancing

The above is a 'narrative'

Narratives can be used to simplify, package, promote, or discard complex phenomena, it’s also a way of making a thing palatable for mainstream culture or the dominant ideology, in this case white middle-class America

The story of breakdancing channelling from gang violence is deeply embedded in hip-hop history. Institutions like the International Olympic Committee and BBC adopt this story because it promotes the values they want to associate themselves with

Of course it's completely fabricated and unsubstantiated by the accounts of people who were there. In a 2019 article in the Journal of Black Studies Serouj Aprahamian disputes this story on the grounds of the reliability of the sources, and goes on to "discuss how the prevalence of this false narrative in studies of hip-hop history overall is part of a broader historic pattern of associating working class African American culture with criminality." - lets not forget Latinos, please

"The Bronx was truly a concrete jungle yet it was there in the middle of “gorilla warfare” that Hiphop Culture was born." This is from an article on the birth of hip-hop, "concrete jungle" and "gorilla warfare," not guerrilla, that's a Freudian slip if ever I saw one, shameful stuff

DJ Scratch DJ for EPMD, Busta Rhymes producer

Afrika Bambaataa is central to the hip-hop history narrative and the breakdance story could very well originate from him. I've written about his erasure from the hip-hop story since having to decide what to do myself when celebrating the seminal Planet Rock (A-T-2 039 A-T-2 387 A-T-3 039). Afrika Bambaataa has been accused of raping children and sex trafficking. Here's an article published by Rolling Stone yesterday about protests outside the Universal Hip-Hop Museum over it's connections with Afrika Bambaataa https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-features/afrika-bambaataa-abuse-allegations-bronx-universal-hip-hop-museum-1234705041/

The other week Crazy Legs of the Bboy crew Rock Steady Crew and perhaps the most famous breakdancer alive was on Drink Champs. He also dismissed the truce narrative and much more https://youtu.be/7arNsMJg-Wg. Crazy Legs has been accused of sexually harass women himself, the allegations don't come up and he doesn't talk about Afrika Bambaataa, but he mentions his participation in the Universal Zulu Nation a lot

The B Boys - Rock The House The B Boys follow-up to Two, Three, Break (below). The B Boys were a studio group put together by producer and label boss Vincent Davis. The original lineup included Guy Vaughn programming the drums and Chuck Chill Out on the turntables, for Rock The House Donald D is on the mic. The B Boys records hold a special place in the UK because Morgan Khan released them here on his Streetwave label and Two, Three, Break and Cuttin' Herbie appear on Street Sounds Electro 2

The B Boys - Two, Three, Break The Classic! Chuck Chill Out (Charles Turner) would come back to this under his new stage name DJ Born Supreme Allah with Two, Three, Break (Part II - The Sequel) in 1985 which made it on to Street Sounds Electro 10. DJ Born Supreme Allah also began the Hip-Hop On Wax series in 1984

The B Boys - Cuttin' Herbie Literally cuttin' a rerecord of Herbie Hancock's Rockit

[oodlyenough]

Yeah, I played AA4 for the first time when the port came out and although I enjoyed it I also felt like it was trying to do two separate things (draw in old fans w Phoenix lore; pivot to new fans w new characters) and as a result kind of failed to do either. For old fans I think it can easily feel like a slap in the face that there's all these new people, most of your faves are gone except Phoenix who's notably purposefully different, and then at the same time for new fans the narrative is so preoccupied with Phoenix still that Apollo, Trucy, the Gavins don't really get fleshed out.

Apollo in particular really feels like he's just kind of Phoenix's courtroom avatar a lot of the time. So much of the big mystery solving in the key cases (4-1 and 4-4) is done by Phoenix anyway. I like Apollo, but he doesn't feel like a lead in 4, to the point that I can kind of see how/why Dual Destinies didn't really feel it could have him as the solo lead he was probably intended to be... which then compounds the problem because now he's splitting screentime with Phoenix and Athena... etc. I'm playing Dual Destinies now and it definitely feels like it's more "about" Apollo than 4 was, and yet in addition to sharing the spotlight none of what's happening has any relation to the previous game lol.

I was trying to ask myself if I was being unfair, and how much of a participant in the story was Phoenix in AA1 compared to Apollo in AA4, and... I dunno, I think Apollo still came up short. He's personally implicated by the broader story via Thalassa but he doesn't know it, and via Kristoph but he doesn't seem to have any feelings about that, so he feels like kind of a bystander. AA1 Phoenix by contrast I feel was more personally involved in the Fey storyline and the Edgeworth storyline.

I do wonder what an alternate AA5 would look like if it were an intentional sequel to 4, the way it seems like it should've been, and I find myself kind of torn. 4 set up a lot of things that would've been interesting to follow up on and it's a shame they get dropped, but at the same time I can't honestly say I liked dropping all the trilogy cast, so... mixed bag imo.

Some Final Thoughts About AJ:AA

so, a lot of people, myself included, used to give this game kind of a hard time and looking back now with fresh eyes, I don’t think it was really deserved. it’s a really good game with some solid cases, in fact it has a first case that I would say overall is among the best in the series. it tried a lot of things and subverted expectations established by the previous games which was fun to see, making it feel very fresh

that being said, there are still some pretty major issues I have with it. I’ve talked about my dislike of the mason system already but ultimately my biggest issue with the game is that for a game called “apollo justice” it still feels very much like phoenix’s story. it’s about phoenix’s plan, phoenix’s perspective, how phoenix took down kirstoph gavin. you even play as him for most of the final case.

and I think this kind of makes sense, if you look at this game as one that really assumes it’s going to be a start of a trilogy, or at least a game that’s going to have a a sequel. see the first 3 games can all kind of function as if they’re the last game you play if you go chronologically - there are very little loose threads in any of them. aa1 is a satisfying experience on its own, in jfa we get a short scene at the end of case 2 implying morgan fey is still scheming in prison but still there are ultimately very few loose ends and t&t acts as the grand finale on everything. they’re all satisfying.

meanwhile there’s a lot of stuff in aa4 that feels as if it mostly acts to be set up. you’re introduced to all these tantalising threads, all for them not to be completely solved, and apollo is wrapped in the biggest one: he’s thalassa gramarye’s daughter and trucy’s brother and he doesn’t even know it yet. you also have the jurist system that doesn’t seem like it’s just supposed to be a story plot point in the final case but a new gameplay mechanic that’s going to be implemented at a later date (the great ace attorney all that proves it). plus there’s the whole business of black psyche-locks and specifically kristoph’s black psyche-locks that feel like it should be revisited at a later date.

so looking at the game as set up for something greater, it makes sense that the character arcs are set up like this, it’s a story about phoenix passing on the torch to apollo, beginning what’s supposed to be a new era, which ties into the themes of the final case well as so much of it is about stepping out of a mentor’s or a family member’s shadow (it’s literally called turnabout succession lol)

but the thing is, that new era never happened - at least not at all in the way it expected to. so the game has just been left to languish as this weird, in-between game that ultimately didn’t end up baring a lot of relevance to the rest of the series but isn’t able to completely stand on its own. which is a shame because a lot of what it was setting up was really interesting, there was a lot to like and I wish we’d gotten to see where it was going and it’s a shame it didn’t.

regardless though I’m still really glad it exists and happy I decided to replay it. it’s both a fun game and an interesting bit of aa’s history

[yazthebookish]

Dear not all but *some* Elr*els,

For the love of god, stop.

I don't want to address you or even engage with you but here we are for the millionth time to talk again about how you handle topics of SA.

Stop using Gwyn's SA as a gaslighting tool.

Stop diminishing her personality and making her SA her sole identity.

Your performative concern about her SA survivor status would've been convincing if not for the many times SA survivors themselves called you out on your harmful takes and the hurtful posts you continue to reblog and support.

You look at everything with shipping lenses, there is nothing you do that is not related to your ship so it's hard to be convinced that your concern is genuine when often times it's not. Gwyn is a threat and her SA is a way for you to weaponize something to guilt-trip others and to even diminish her character and journey so far.

You limit her healing and claim as long as she is under the library that's where she belongs when healing is not linear and SA survivors can always take a step after step to reach where they want.

The thing is you simply don't want her to move on and don't think she is capable of doing so because she is a SA survivor. That reflects on how you may think about all those that went through such trauma, that they are beyond healing or will need at least a decade to actually heal when that's not true and healing journeys differ from others.

Just as Gwyn said, she is sick of staying in the library and wants to leave it someday. That wish is there and has been stated. That is something we are excited to see because it's what she wants.

✅ Curious about sex to the point she asks if it's good and reads smutty books

✅ Joins training, participates in the Blood Rite, and becomes a Valkyrie and a Carynthian

✅ Feels comfortable enough to train, talk to and joke with Cassian, interact with Rhys, and tease and spend a night alone chatting with Azriel and later on challenges and teases him

✅ Spies on Illyrian males for days and steals food from them

✅ Actually fights Illyrian males during the Blood Rite

✅ Has a competitive nature (e.g., proving Azriel wrong) and confrontational when someone tries to coddle her (e.g., Nesta)

✅ Calls both Azriel and Cassian sadistic monsters

✅ A hardworking scholar and priestess

✅ Asked Azriel for dagger-handling lessons which they had one ALONE

✅ Despite her fear, she braved to leave the library for the first time in two years to be there for her friend. Gwyn stroked Nesta’s head. “Some things are more important than fear.”

You are purposely trying to shame others for shipping something by creating a false narrative that disguises your contempt as concern about a character who is a SA survivor.

Most of your morality posts are just as offensive because it's pushing this concept that being assaulted breaks you beyond healing.

This isn't about fictional characters, it's about the lot of you weaponizing something so personal and triggering for many to try and shame people into being in favor of what you like and support.

It's beyond pathological.

If you noticed, I did not generalize that all Elr*els do this since they are also real people with their own experiences. Some of them could even be SA survivors themselves. This is directed specifically at the people that are vocal about these harmful takes. I am not typing this for the sake of the ship war, this is about having some empathy and consideration when talking about such topics.

If you believe you lack having even an ounce of empathy, then don't speak on matters of SA survivors and trigger many people over a ridiculous ship war.

Also, her status as a SA survivor does not mean she can't be criticized or disliked as a character, that's the point of not making her trauma her entire identity. Saying it's problematic to present her as a manipulative and luring evil being is not using her trauma as a shield to protect her from criticism, it's simply the fact that it's insinuating someone who was once a victim that were violated against their will is also luring others against their will. That is what's problematic.

This is not about the fucking shipwar, just be mindful of your own words which often times you're not. People don't have to disclose their own experiences to make a point and convince you on how hurtful and upsetting it is.

Ship Elr*el all you want but be mindful about these topics as a reminder for the millionth time.

[junhuiste]

break the code (ex-wip)

pairing: soonyoung x fem!reader

wc: 1900

tags/warning: basketball!soonyoung, college au, slightly suggestive language, cursing

a/n: this was something i started way back in 2017 when i was 15 lol and i tried going back to it and finishing but i just can’t seem to continue it!! but i don’t want it to just sit in my drafts so i’m just going to post the unfinished wip! i might do this with a lot of wips i’ve had collecting dust over the years (and they’re like 99% svt lol); if i ever do find some stroke of inspo to finish it i might but for now enjoy the 1900 words i wrote when i was a sophomore

“But babe, you’ll sit on my side, right?” Soonyoung continued to pester you with countless little questions to which he knew the exact answers to.

You pursed your lips at your boyfriend; mild sorrow and guilt clouded your eyes. In return he pout your favorite pair of plush pillows to kiss, with dull bleakness and dismals fogging his irises. It was hard, really, to resist the pull of a magnet, who was trying every trick in the book to coerce you to sit on his school’s side of the bleachers for the upcoming basketball game on Friday.

Had it been that both of you were just your run-of-the-mill university couple, tachycardia would’ve caused you to blurt out “yes” instantaneously just by being gazed upon by Soonyoung, but alas, the big guy upstairs made it to be so that you technically couldn’t through the rulebook of the sibling code.

A flushed palm extended to your denim-covered thighs, with the utmost desire lacing his fingers.

“Pretty please? With a cherry on top?” His digits creeped towards your inner thigh, getting closer to the actual cherry he wanted on top.

“Soonyoung, no matter how well you do me, I’m still obligated to sit on my side of the bleachers.”

None of Soonyoung’s coercions could persuade you to decide about where to sit. You really would’ve preferred to sit on his side, but with your current situation, none of that was possible. It was a precarious oscillation between blood and water, and neither did you want to drown in with regret for embracing one over another.

“Fine. If you can’t cheer me on–which is a pitiful shame–let me take you out to eat after the game. And we can make out in my car or something so he won’t have to know.” Soonyoung’s gaze no longer held flashes of fervor, but rather a decadent gleam of sheer admiration.

“It’s a done deal, but you better promise me to dunk on him, or be prepared to get dunked on by him. As of right now, however, you owe me some kisses for making me wobble continuously back and forth between your side and his before I go,” you taunted, “come here you little rascal.”

Soonyoung gleamed at you piercingly, yielding you to lean forward against him as a shock of joy sparked up your back. His hand feathered along the back of your thigh, brushing it so longingly, with a tinge of impertinence here and there. You could feel the urgency radiating from him as he struggled to press you even closer to him, as there were no more gaps to be filled. He grasped your chin gingerly, before connecting his lips with yours, wanting to revel in dire coalescence he’d been awaiting upon your arrival.

Soonyoung is the warm bath you dip yourself into after constant exhaustion, the meager yet compelling and needed breeze as the sun beats down you, the red mark that’s actually relieving and boasts “A+” on a hard worked assignment, the last basket shot as the clock dashes away with the snickering seconds, and he is what has you torn on where your loyalty stands, but you can’t thank him enough for that strife.

You pulled away first because getting you two to separate would be a long ass haul, and maybe it was also getting late, just maybe. Your eyes glimpsed at the badgering hands that indicated 11:35 PM, and nothing but a sullen sigh managed to escape your lips.

It wasn’t fair, how time sashayed away, but there were no seconds left to spare to sulk about it, so you caressed the tranquility Soonyoung’s face possessed and left a lingering peck upon it. Knowing him, you’d expected him to grip your waist and pull you down with him into the waters of his joyous yet yearning ways but the coal haired boy enveloped you in an enticing embrace and with his lips hovering slightly above your ear, whispered, “Tell him to get ready.”

“I swear to God, I hate basketball,” your brother exhaled out in utter annoyance, to which you furrowed your brows at.

You always shifted in your seat restlessly, your heart palpitating at an ungodly speed of McQueen, eyes sought frantically to avoid meeting your brother’s, upon the dreaded word of “basketball” ringing in your ears. It wasn’t that you abhorred it, no, not at all; you absolutely appreciated the art of dunking and the pleasing note of swish through the hoop, but just not the people you knew personally who partook in it.

There’s always a Montague and Capulet narrative happening somewhere in the universe, always, and it just so happened that you were struck with the curse by some godforsaken entity of destiny of landing a role in your life as the fresh faced, ever so naive, youngest member of the Capulets–Juliet. And you dreaded the direction your supposed fairytale was headed the first time your boyfriend asked you to watch his basketball game, which oddly enough, was the same one your brother requested you to “bring all your hot friends” to.

As strange as it sounded, it wasn’t your brother’s undeniable libido for your friends that irked you and made you hesitate going to a basketball game, to which you’ve never thought twice about before, but it was the statement of, “God I am going to crush number 10’s ass.”

Number 10. Number fucking 10. Of course, it had to be the player that sweat through blue polyester and nylon, donning number 10 in white on the front and back. It could have been player number 13 or 17, for God’s sake it could have even been a negative number sported on the jersey, yet it all had to align in the cosmos to be player number 10.

You didn’t certainly deem ESP to be something legitimate, but on that day you swore to god your mind fucked you royally in the ass and placed you in Soonyoung’s dorm room the night before. It was nothing out of the ordinary, really, nothing but the sight of a teenage boy’s niche, because a lot of basketball players had to have chosen the number 10 for their jersey, right?

The environment malfunctioned instantaneously with the repetition of “I am going to crush number 10’s ass” circling about a short circuit in your mind. From that moment onward, the sight of the jersey was unquestionably more radiant that it could have ever been, with the blinding, white number ten atop Soonyoung’s chair cackling obstreperously at your oh shit moment. Tuning in to your brother slander your university’s rival, Soonyoung’s school, was always such a joy (not) to participate in.

Every “basketball” here and there snagged you by the ear and dragged you to hell and back with it, provoking the cracks of your palm to drench in sweat and legs to quiver more than you had felt around Soonyoung before dating him.

“Yeah I mean it’s not like you’ve worked your entire ass off the past 4 years or so to even set foot on the college court you've been dreaming of since you were 13!” Diverting your brother’s mental debate on his love of the sport, it was a necessity to pluck something else from thin air to talk about, and not your school’s rival when they had games against each other, which was seemingly a bloodbath in their perspective.

Trying to escape your brother’s trash talk of Soonyoung’s team was walking through an eternal, pitch black, underground tunnel, no goddamn escape.

“They only got us last time because of number 10’s foolery. Jesus Christ, the kid better slow down or he’s wasting stamina. Can’t believe he holds the title of captain, like me. I motherfucking swear to God if I have to listen to his loud ass winning chant–” yadah yadah, number 10 this, number 10 that.

You would have dozed off to your brother’s lovely lullaby of scorn towards your boyfriend had it not been for a text…from your boyfriend.

[spoonyoung]

hii hiiiii heyyyy hello bby Hhhii babe i miss youuuuu hi!

[y/n]

i can tell u’re tired :( don’t be

[spoonyoung]

he's going to crush me dang flabbit

y/n

so ur nervous ??? bby it’s just a game istg,,both of you treat it like warfare

[incoming call: spoonyoung]

Shit, what the hell? This bitch, right now? In this economy, at this time?

Inside your chest was a drumline pounding, giving it their all, threatening to burst out and announce to your brother that “Hey, your rival is dating your sister! They’re probably going to fuck later but you don’t know about any of it!”

You would plummet into poignancy if you didn’t pick up his call, because there was no chance you could see him everyday, so honestly fuck that you guys attended different schools, and resorting to calling each other did bring both of you to ease, but not at this goddamn, forsaken time, with one you love phoning you with 17,000 vibrations per second, and the other idiot you were practically forced to love, perched next to you, indignantly gripping the wheel with such force you couldn’t decide which one generated more turbulence within you.

Tensely clutching what was now a scorching piece of metal, you held it up conscientiously to your ear, and forced yourself to breathe out calmly and collectively. Every single mention, tidbit and strand, bob and fragment of Soonyoung that was mentioned around you when you were with your brother grabbed your trachea in its firm hold and forced the wind out of you.

“Hey, Hoshi,” you managed to choke out in a level headed manner.

Hoshi. That was what you and Soonyoung agreed to nickname him if you ever picked up a call from him around your brother or his teammates, but god forbid you were actually allowed to have a life of any sort!

“Babe,” Soonyoung mewled out from the other line, “I actually can’t do this. Don’t tell him, but your brother is really good...of course he is.”

Frowning because of Soonyoung’s lack of usual mirth and brimming confidence, you sighed, “If you let it get to you, then your thoughts affect your actions, and you don’t want that to happen right? You’ll be fine...and I’m not just saying this to say something, but you’re really good too, and you can’t let one person bring your entire mood down...even if...you know…”

“Will you at least come with me to my dorm after the game?”

“Oh you know I’ll be doing more than that,” giggling into your phone, trying to sound as enticing as possible, completely engrossed in this very conversation, as it was all the time talking with Soonyoung.

Both of you had a habit of drastically turning your talks from upside downs to those of obvious elation. They were conversations sometimes needed to be kept in the comforting privacy, selfishly not wanting to let anyone else in on the baby i missed you’s and the do you need anything from the boba shop’s and literally you don’t have the right to look this good’s.

Startled by the grunting and hacking oh so wonderfully expired by the total jackass to your left, you contended to the third degree, with the patience that was never really there starting to thin out, “Do you need something?”

It wasn’t uncommon for Soonyoung to call coincidentally at the times you were with—more like right next to—his rival, probably because his

[miazeklos]

The things that GOT did better than the books?

FEMALE CHARACTERS oh god

Er. In an effort to elaborate (and sorry for the late response, but elaborating means I had to take some time ;D). By 'better' I mean mostly the authorial intent, or what I perceive it as, at least. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this before - and again, being a die-hard Cersei stan probably plays into my view of those things - but at a lot of points in the books, it feels like the narrative is just so often unnecessarily cruel towards female characters that it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. And I do mean the narrative itself, not even the other characters around them - things are presented as irony or a dark parallel or whatever but it's very clear that they are being punished for things they wanted. Some of it is very heavy-handed - Dany forgetting the little girl's name, the story of Sansa wanting a life like in the songs and now 'by day she prayed for silence', literally the entire concept of Kevan (?) giving the idea for the walk of shame based on the even more misogynistic punishment for Tytos's mistress for the crime of, uh. Doing what Tytos allowed her to do, given that she would have had no power if it hadn't been given to her. Literally the entire thing is well-summarised in this quote:

Vain and proud she was, before so haughty you'd think she's forgot she came from dirt. Once we got her clothes off her, though, she was just another whorе.

Not to be a feminist on main but this is literally it, like. This feels like the main thesis about most female characters in general who have Ideas Above Their Station in this series and it makes my skin crawl. I'm probably get some interesting takes in my inbox for saying this, but this was so obviously written by a man lol.

The show, on the other hand...

The show never really does this, no matter how often it's accused of that. 'GoT punishes women in power' lmao where? Literally the last spoken lines in the show are Sansa's crowning as queen. Dany spent years ruling pretty successfully given her circumstances. Cersei spent two seasons on the Throne, meeting no real resistance from her subjects because she was an all right ruler and did her queenly duties to any extent she could. The idea that she and Dany were ~punished for wanting power has literally no basis in the text - Jon killed Dany not because she wanted power, but to protect his sisters after she explicitly said she's go after them if they don't kneel. Cersei died because that's always a risk when you're, you know, at war that you're an active participant in. None of this was in any way framed as punishment. They were, generally, presented as competent rulers who, while making mistakes, were also praised for their successes in-universe and their ambition was not presented as a bad thing (other than from characters who were presented in a negative light for doing so; I can elaborate on this, but not here, as this has got long enough already. ;D) I strongly doubt that that will be the case for either of them, especially Cersei, in the books.

Obviously I will have to reserve judgement until/if we see everyone's endgame, but here's - IMO - a summary of what drives me to that ^ whole point: In the books, that ambition is frequently presented as morally wrong, a case of greed or obviously misplaced confidence and often when things go wrong, it's the character getting what's coming for them. In the show, Sansa starts off dreaming of being queen, later berates herself for being 'a stupid little girl with stupid dreams who never learns', and then proves that wrong by becoming queen - demanding her kingdom's independence, at that - and no one in-story hates her for it. Just like Cersei was told 'you're the queen mother, nothing more' and several other such remarks and became queen in her own right; just as Dany was underestimated in the cities she eventually conquered. It's all seen as a natural conclusion, and it's tremendously refreshing.

So, yeah. This is one of the things I certainly think the show did better than the books.

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Victor’s Patio Date (Eng Translation)

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date which has not been released in English servers! 🍒

MC: It’s finally over!

I stretch, basking in the warm afternoon sunlight. 

MC: The air-conditioning in the meeting room was so strong. I almost sneezed...

Victor: That’s why you held your breath till your face turned red?

MC: I did not...

I want to retort, but both our phones vibrate at the same time. 

Curious, I tap and open the message. The sender is Ronan. The beginning of the message reads: “Inviting Mr Victor and Miss MC...”

[Note: If you don't know who Ronan is, check out Victor’s Understanding the Human World date before continuing]

Victor: To attend an appointment on the sky garden of the CR Building, a subsidiary company of LFG, after three days, at 7pm.

Victor softly reads the bottom half of the message aloud - he has received the same message.

MC: I remember that Ronan invited internationally renowned architects to build the film sets for his new movie. It should be this sky garden then? Since he has invited us, could it have something to do with the new movie? 

Victor: We’ll know when we get there.

He looks at the phone in his hand indifferently. Despite his expression, it seems he already has an answer. 

-

Three days later.

Victor and I reach the CR Building punctually. 

Ronan: The two of you are here. Come, the movie preview is on the top floor. 

Without much idle chat, we exchange greetings, and he enthusiastically leads us to the elevator. 

MC: The shoot has already been completed? That’s pretty fast. 

Ronan: Mm, the shoot this time went really smoothly. Whether in the capacity of a friend, or the biggest investor, I want the both of you to be the first few to see my movie. 

MC: Why did I receive an invitation too...

Hearing my soft confusion, Ronan laughs loudly while he responds.

Ronan: When we were shooting Dévotion, it was only because of your cooperation that I could shoot a romantic and poetic Chinese wedding. Also, the movie this time was largely inspired by the two of you, so inviting you is definitely reasonable. For example, Victor revealed that, to him, you are actually...

Victor: Often impudent, and require improvement in time management. But once you slow down, your work capabilities have indeed improved quite a bit.

MC: ...why do I feel like what you told Ronan had nothing to do with my work capabilities. 

I arch my eyebrows, not wanting to show signs of weakness. I toss a grimace towards Victor.

Before phrases in my mind such as “a woman’s instincts are very accurate” leave my mouth, Ronan starts laughing as he watches us from the side.

Ding--

Along with a soft ring, the elevator halts steadily at the highest level of the building. The exquisite sky garden greets my vision as the elevator doors open slowly. 

Green trees display their leaves on mid-air platforms, and flowers of differing colours are scattered around, decorating the area.

The course of a river is guided by steel, flowing into a waterfall, gathering into a river,  and slowly flowing around the trees and flowers.

Victor: The movie preview will start in ten minutes. How much longer do you plan to dillydally? 

As though he isn’t drawn to the view at all, Victor simply holds his hand out in front of me. 

MC: Yes, yes. As expected of the Mr CEO who has seen the big world - displaying an unchanging expression even after seeing such a view.

I hold onto his hand readily, and subtly lean against his side a little more.

The corners of Victor’s lips seem to curl upwards slightly. He accommodates to my footsteps, and we head to the venue together. 

-

The movie preview is extremely successful. 

Summarising the legend of the sky garden, Ronan illustrated a story of the male lead’s struggle at the end of the world, looking for an oasis. 

And the climax of the story occurred at this very sky garden--

Lights and shadows merged with drifting flower petals, the last green leaf, and the last water source at the very end of the world...

Apart from the excellent narrative, the visual effects from the film alone gives one unparalleled enjoyment. 

After the movie ends, I can’t help but give a standing ovation. 

A few members of the audience, who were immersed in the movie like I was, send their cheers to the directors and actors. 

MC: As expected of Ronan’s movie - it’s really brilliant.

Victor: Mm. It’s his usual standard. 

Although Victor says this, he isn’t stingy with his applause. 

MC: There’s a really immersive feeling knowing that we’re in the most beautiful scene of the movie...

Victor: Let’s go then.

Right after the words land, my palm is already encased in warmth. 

Victor: To look at the garden you’ve been thinking about in your heart since just now. 

MC: Okay! It’s a rare opportunity to walk into the beautiful scenery crafted by world-class directors and architects. If we don’t take a proper look, it’d be such a pity.

Victor: In that case, follow me and don’t let go of my hand again. 

MC: Anyway, no matter where I am, you’ll always find me in the end. I won’t get lost. 

We stand up, and I smile while holding onto his hand tightly. 

He lets out a soft laugh. Maybe it’s my misperception, but the night seems to become gentler along with him.

I hear the sound of gurgling water in my ears, and red corn poppies bloom among the shadows of trees.

My fingers brush against the tips of bushes, and I feel the branches carrying the coolness of night. 

MC: Sigh... it’s a shame that this place would be torn down after a while. And it’s such a beautiful set-up designed by a famous architect...

The more we stroll in the garden, the more I feel sorry for its impending disappearance.

Victor: You really can’t bear to see it gone? 

MC: In the bustling city, such a garden is just too precious. 

The corners of Victor’s lips lift in response to my words. He responds calmly. 

Victor: The garden will be retained, and will become a cafe open to the public in the long-term. 

MC: So in the future... it will also be LFG’s property?!

Victor doesn’t comment. 

Victor: Once the movie preview is over, there will be a gradual adjustment of the layout and decor. 

MC: ...it’s really nice to have money.

Victor: That’s your biggest takeaway after watching the preview? 

MC: Of course not. I have very deep thoughts regarding this movie!

Victor arches his brows, as though waiting for my “deep thoughts” and review. 

I clear my throat, temporarily tossing aside my feelings towards capitalism. In my mind, I start recalling the images from the movie. 

MC: In Ronan’s movie, the lead keeps searching for an “oasis” in order to settle down and have sustenance. Every person needs his own “oasis”. It’s only when one has a foothold and a place to rest can he continually move forward. 

Victor: Looks like you really watched it seriously. 

MC: Which is why I’m very surprised by your decision to retain this garden. Perhaps it can become an oasis for busy people in this bustling city. 

Victor: If it’s possible, that would be best. 

MC: You don't think such an idea is overly vague or idealistic? 

Victor: You can only move forward with some resources. This is the same for everyone. Moreover, it’s only when you have a goal in mind and know where you’re heading towards, can you walk far, and walk steadily. 

I run a few steps in front, then turn around to stick out my tongue at him.

MC: Are we here to participate in the movie preview, or to do an inspection with you? 

Victor: Watch where you’re going.

Slightly resigned, Victor pushes aside some branches sticking out along the path. He reaches out and pulls me back to his side. 

Suddenly, a different view from the slender and delicate poppies enters my vision.

MC: Roses!

I blink. In one corner of the garden, in replacement of poppies, crimson roses bloom warmly under the moonlight. 

At the side, there are even a few bean bags and a small coffee table. 

In the luxurious and majestic garden, the roses, while sharing the same colour as poppies, add a different style to the courtyard. 

My thoughts drift to the rose-scented town I had once taken a slow walk with him in.

[Note: This is a reference to Victor’s Magnificent Date] 

I can’t help but smile and ask Victor a question.

MC: Is this one of the methods to attract visitors and raise property value? 

Victor: Yes.

Victor admits it matter-of-factly, but there’s a smile in his eyes. 

Victor: Ronan’s team insisted on adding different understandings of this theme in order to portray a richer definition of an “oasis”. Since they asked for my opinion, I naturally gave them my view.

Standing under the warm yellow street lamp, Victor’s expression looks exceptionally tender. 

Victor: From what I see, the result isn’t bad. 

-

There is a subtle sweet aroma of roses in the air. I sit comfortably on a bean bag, asking Victor with a grin:

MC: What other adjustments will be made?

Dressed in a well-ironed suit, Victor is also half-lying on the bean bag, looking somewhat languid. The aura surrounding him has become much more gentle. 

It’s as though we aren’t at a bustling movie preview, or a sky garden on the top floor of a building.

It’s just a normal weekend evening, in a small courtyard belonging to us, as we shed off the week’s worth of fatigue.

I can’t help but think of the afternoon he slept in front of me, and remember the day he had revealed an almost imperceptible state of relaxation to me. 

[Note: This is a reference to Victor’s Return Home Date]

Victor: You look like you have a lot of thoughts? 

MC: Of course I do! I’ve been to various shooting locations, and have met mature producers with differing styles. Apart from that, I’m also a contemporary member of society with a delicate mind and good aesthetic sense. Which is why I’m clearer than anyone else about what a stressed worker needs most in terms of external care. Just look - even my house is very warm, right?

Victor: If you can change your habit of leaving things lying around, it might be considered a “warm” house. 

MC: This is called “integrating with the masses” - it’s a small beauty in life.

Recalling the earlier topic, I stand up, pulling Victor as we head to the inner area of the park.

MC: For example, I think this place could have a few more elegant seats.

I point at the hanging rattan chair underneath the flower stand. 

MC: That way, visitors would be more comfortable when sitting down. Also, this path we walked on - although it looks very pretty in the movie, it’s easy to get hooked by bushes at the side. If it weren’t for your words just now, I would have definitely bumped into it. Also...

I look towards the trail lined with trees on both sides, leading towards the centre of the park.

MC: Maybe this is just my selfish thought, and has nothing to do with increasing practicality or comfort. However, if I had a choice, I would change these trees to Platanus trees. 

Several strands of shock flash across Victor’s dark eyes. Then, he opens his mouth to ask in slight amusement:

Victor: Why is that so? 

MC: Legend says that the Hanging Gardens was created by the king of Babylon for his wife who was suffering from homesickness. 

[Note: Platanus trees were part of the Hanging Gardens. Platanus trees, also known as Oriental Plane Trees, are a frequent motif featured in Classical Chinese poetry as an embodiment of sorrowful sentiments due to its autumnal shedding of leaves]

I walk along the small trail, staring at the poppies swaying in the wind. 

I wonder if that king, all those thousands of years ago, carried such a heart - wanting to give such a luxurious gift to the person he loved. 

MC: No matter what others may say, I also wish to leave the best things to the person most important to me. To build an oasis within his sight and touch where he can have a peace of mind. You’ve left a corner of the camellia garden for me, so I also wish to give you a small trail lined with Platanus trees. 

[Note: This is a reference to Victor’s Maze date, which is available in EN]

I raise my head with a smile, not caring that my cheeks have already heated up. I observe Victor’s dark coloured eyes carefully, and tell him what’s in my heart calmly and sincerely.

Victor pauses for a moment. Apart from surprise, his eyes also contain an undercurrent of a deeper and heavier emotion. 

Victor: With so many ideas, not letting you write a proposal to collaborate with the design team would be a waste of talent. When exactly did you learn to say such things? 

In the end, all his emotions culminate into his usual ridicule, which is more tender than usual.

Curling his fingers, he taps me on the forehead with some affection. 

MC: If you feel happy, you can just say it directly, really. 

Victor: And when did you hear me say that? 

MC: I felt it!

While laughing, I step onto the stairs, looking at the blooming poppy flowerbed. 

The flowerbed, which is suspended in mid-air, is the highest point of the garden. It is held up firmly by chains above the pool.

MC: Do you feel like I’m especially thoughtful and especially cute right now? 

Victor: I only feel that you’re especially childish.

While Victor says this, he walks up to the stairs and holds onto my hand. 

Victor: And that you’re truly a dummy. 

It is only when he draws nearer that I can clearly see the upward curve of his lips. 

Apart from the faraway lights and the water under us, his eyes also reflect my brilliantly smiling face. 

The flowerbed sways back and forth in small motions. 

Sitting here, I not only have a panoramic view of the garden, but can also overlook the entirety of Loveland City.

In the distance, the city lights are scattered around, artificial light sources forming another galaxy on earth.

MC: Victor, you once said that you would look at Loveland City from a height whenever you’re in a bad mood. I think I can understand something I didn’t think of before!

Victor: What do you understand this time? 

MC: This garden on the top level of the building, where you can overlook Loveland City, is perhaps your oasis. Now that I think about it, everything I said just now was unnecessary, right? 

Recalling my eloquent suggestions to Victor earlier, I start feeling slightly embarrassed.

Victor: Looks like you still don’t know anything.

MC: Tell me - what should I know then?

Supporting myself on the flowerbed with one hand, I grin, turning around to ask him.

The suspended flowerbed sways violently from my sudden movement. Only then do I remember that there are only a few fulcrums holding up the flower bed. 

With an unstable footing, I subconsciously reach out to clutch onto Victor, trying to maintain my balance. However, I still fall against the flower bed, hurting my shoulder blade.

Victor: You’re being impatient again.

[Note: There isn’t a direct translation of the phrase used here, 毛毛躁躁 (”mao mao zao zao”), but it conveys the idea of doing things hurriedly and inattentively]

His voice resounds very close to me. I open my eyes, and directly meet his line of sight.

Because of my sudden movement, Victor has also been pulled towards me. 

One of his hands is wrapped around the back of my head, preventing me from hitting it. Another hand is at my ear, holding me steady. 

Right now, this action seems to be imprisoning me between the fresh flowers and himself. 

MC: S...sorry, I’ll pay more attention next time...

I stammer, my heart rate speeding up. 

Victor: You said this the last time as well. 

The heat from summer has not fully dissipated. Humidity lingers in the air. 

The poppies in the garden bloom quietly, and the night is warm. It’s as though everything I see and feel have become gentle. 

Even Victor’s eyes and outline grow blurry from the light and shadows, encasing him in a layer of tenderness. 

Our sudden proximity causes my heart rate to accelerate, and it feels like my thoughts have been stuck in place. 

I avert my gaze, slightly guilty. I raise my palm to put some distance between us. 

MC: We’re about done with the viewing. The dinner is about to begin, so we should head down... I remember it’s one level below? 

Victor: ...do you know that your ability to change the topic is very poor. 

Victor sighs softly, then gently shifts his hand away from the back of my head. 

When the warmth belonging to him vanishes, a sense of longing floods my heart. 

It’s as though I have awakened from a charming dream surrounded by warm currents, returning to reality once again.

But in the next second, the warmth I’m most familiar with envelops my wrist.

Looking into his dark eyes, I think I must have truly misunderstood. 

Whether it’s the Babylonian king from thousands of years ago, or any other ordinary person, the thing people truly want isn’t the view from their memory. It’s the person they want to share the view with. 

Victor: I’m going to answer your question from just now. Listen carefully. 

Victor: The words you said are not unnecessary. 

Victor: And I am indeed very happy.

Victor shifts upwards, encircling me in front of him again. 

He is so close that the entire world seems to be condensed into his pair of eyes. 

The fountain spurts at regular intervals, shattering the calm of the water. Water vapour floating in the air refracts light, caging us in a colourful curtain of light. 

Victor: Just now, someone eloquently mentioned wanting to build an oasis within my sight and touch. And now you’re so anxious - where do you want to run off to? 

Perhaps the temperature of the evening is overly gentle, and the light from the water is too fine. I’m unable to see what emotions lie in Victor’s eyes. 

As the distance between us closes, I can clearly see every gentle quiver of his eyelashes, and can feel the heat from every lingering breath from our noses. 

His lips move slightly, as though wanting to say something to me. 

Before he can speak, the fountain spurts again. This time, the cool water happens to spray onto us. 

MC: Ah...

I want to hurriedly straighten up and dry Victor, but a gentle yet irresistible pressure pushes me back down. 

The water columns from the fountain change, forming into different heights and shapes. Scattered droplets of water patter on us like light rain.

Victor’s hair, which has always been tidied meticulously, droops slightly because of the water droplets. 

The slender poppies beside us sway slightly. Water vapour condenses on the flower petals, dripping down along the body of the flower. 

Victor: No need to care about that. Having you here is enough. 

His slightly hoarse voice brushes against my ear along with his breath. It circles past the nape of my neck, evoking a certain numbness. 

Victor’s body temperature continuously travels to my wrist, entering my heart. 

Victor: My “oasis”... has already belonged to me since a very long time ago.

🌹 

Phone Call: here