#And it's like. Again. Am I back in high school??

[htaesan]

　ᅠ 📩　ᅠ EMAILS BETTER LEFT UNSENT part 2　　────　ᅠ ( park sunghoon )

𝓹recis ⠀ : ⠀your crush on your best friend of almost ten years is getting out of hand, and you feel like it’s time to give up𑁋especially after seeing how well your desk mate treats you.

　　　ᅠ 박성훈 & 심재윤 ⠀⠀◜◡◝ ⠀⠀𝒇 reader ⠀wc 32k ⠀ genre fluff a bit of angst childhood best friends to lovers non idol au high school au ⠀ contains mentions of food sickness crying skinship pet names ocs and random characters ⠀ tagging @a-dream-bookmark ,@/k-labels , @k-nets , @k-films , @sgz-net

　　　ᅠ note ᅠ from ᅠ 𝐋𝐈𝐋𝐈 ! ᅠ HELLO your fav fic is back and better!!! (i hope.) saurrrrr i know the word count is crazy and tumblr does not let me put that much words in one post.. so this is the second part ! >< (i am so sorry) enjoy reading my debut enhypen fic on my new blog ^_^

　　　ᅠ ＞︿ 　　please leave feedbacks 　　& 　　reblog

To: parksung.h0on812@gmail.com From: sincerely/n@gmail.com Park Sunghoon, Thank you for taking care of me at the hospital. Part of me was weirded out as to why you’re so adamant in making sure you were there to witness me eat all my meals until I was discharged. Even Heeseung oppa was weirded out. He asked me if you had… feelings for me.  I said no. I strongly believe in it, that you harbour no such feelings towards me.  A very small part of me thinks you like me—exactly like the way I like you. That very tiny part of me is giving me hope that feels illegal to have… hope that maybe I’ll be able to call you mine, and that I’ll be able to spend the rest of my life loving you loudly.  Though, I’ll use my rational mind here. There’s no way you like me the way I like you.  It’s impossible.  It’s impossible.  Maybe it’s not, but… It’s impossible.  Sent 23:45 PM, 11th November.

To: parksung.h0812@gmail.com From: sincerely/n@gmail.com Dear Sunghoon,  Thank you for always sending me plenty of food every day, at each meal time. You’re very clever, aren’t you? You’re making me feel bad if I don’t eat the food, so that way I’ll finish everything.  You know me best, Sunghoon, and I sometimes hate you for that. Do you know how dangerous this fact is for my heart? She keeps on falling for you. Again, again, and again.  I’ll come over to your house after I finish this practice exam paper. Wait for me :)  Sent 9:08 AM, 12th November. 

You’re standing in front of the hotteok booth, bundled up in a warm puffer jacket. You had decided to buy some warm street food before going to Sunghoon’s house.

You shove your hands into your pockets, trying to keep warm. You impatiently tap your feet against the concrete floor, wishing that the old lady at the stall is cooking your hotteok a little faster.  

“Aunty, I’ll pay for her hotteok,” you hear a familiar voice say.

“Jake?” you say upon seeing him beside you. He gives you a toothy smile. 

“Hi, good morning.” 

“Good morning,” you reply grumpily, “are you the richest person in the world, or what? You don’t need to pay for my food every single time you see me.”

Jake laughs, and you see wisps of his breath vaporising from his lips. “I’ve never seen someone get mad at me for paying for their food.”

“Have you done this kind of treatment to anyone else?” you ask sharply.

Though, your tone does not intimidate Jake at all. He simply chuckles, and raises an eyebrow in amusement. “Why? Are you jealous?”

“No,” you snort, elbowing him. “Why would I be?”

“Here you go,” the hotteok lady says, handing you a paper bag filled with the goodies you asked her for. The scent attacks your nose, and you smile happily at the thought of devouring them as soon as possible. 

“It’s KRW 4500,” the lady reminds, and as swift as the autumn wind, Jake hands her the money. “Thank you,” she says. 

“Aish, seriously,” you grumble. “I can pay for myself, you know.”

Before Jake could say anything in reply, the hotteok lady interrupts with a cheeky smile. “Jaeyun-ah, is she your girlfriend? She’s so pretty.”

Your jaw falls open as your eyes dart rapidly between Jake and the lady. “N-no, I’m not–”

Jake grabs your hand and gives the lady a very generous smile. “Thank you, aunty, I do think she’s very beautiful too.”

You feel heat smothering the entirety of your face and you give the lady a sheepish laugh. Jake then bids farewell to the lady and leads you towards the bus station. 

“You’re crazy, aren’t you?” you hiss, pulling your hand away from his grip. “I’m not your girlfriend.”

Jake raises an amused eyebrow. “Oh? I thought you said yes the other day.”

“To what?”

“You agreed to dating me for a month, as a preview?”

“When…” you take a deep breath, containing your rage. Even though Jake was a very nice and polite person that you enjoy being around a lot, there’s this cocky side of him that often gets on your nerves. “...when did I agree to that?”

Jake looks confused—causing him to break out of his arrogant and confident manner, and it took him a minute to answer. “Oh. I-I took your silence as a yes.”

You laugh defeatedly. “Jake, I don’t think that’s how it works with me.”

Jake nods slowly, removing his gaze from you. While he’s recollecting his thoughts, and possibly coming up with a new tactic to convince you to date him; you’re thinking about it yourself, too. 

Jake’s nice—he’s good looking, athletic, and he’s smart too. From the beginning of your friendship with him in sophomore year, Jake has never been anything but kind and caring to you. You lost count the amount of times he’s bought you food and drinks, helped you in subjects you particularly aren’t too good in—and he doesn’t make you feel less smart at all. 

Honestly, you would classify Jake as one of the guys that girls are dying to get together with. He’s fun to be around—even if he can be overwhelming sometimes—he’s outgoing and adaptable, and he loves hard. 

You’ve seen the loving side of him, exposed to you for almost the entirety of your high school years. It’s just that you chose to ignore it, unable to see Jake as something more than a good friend of yours. 

You lay eyes on him, feeling bad—Jake deserves someone who reciprocates the immense amount of love he gives, not someone who purposefully chooses to friendzone him every single time, even though there’s absolutely nothing wrong with him. 

A voice inside your head tells you to try. That voice tells you to choose yourself, instead of pining after Sunghoon who most likely isn’t going to love you the same way you love him. It tells you that, perhaps, by giving Jake a chance, you’d give yourself one too. A chance to finally love and prioritise yourself.

“Fine,” you say, your voice shaky at first. “Let’s do it.”

YOU’RE riding the bus with Jake sitting by your side—and from the corner of your eyes, you can see how greatly his mood improved. He’s swinging his head slightly at the hum of a song he’s murmuring. 

“I’ll see you later,” Jake says when the bus approaches your stop. He gives you the brightest smile you’ve seen on him yet. “Take care, text me when you get there.”

You chortle, “relax, I’m only going to Sunghoon’s house. Nothing’s going to happen.”

“Sunghoon?” Jake’s smile slips, and for a split second, you almost catch his eyes darken.

You nod cautiously. “Yeah, I’m going to study there,” you say, adjusting the tote bag on your shoulder. “Most likely I’m just going there to hangout, probably.”

“Why don’t you hang out at my place?” Jake suggests.

You grin. “You’re too clingy for someone who isn’t my boyfriend yet.”

“But–” 

“Shh,” you place a finger on Jake’s lips, sending tingles through. “See you later.”

Jake watches with round eyes as you hop off the bus, waving cheerfully at him. It takes him a minute to process what happened, and it had been a little too late for him to wave back at you. 

To: parksung.h0on812@gmail.com From: sincerely/n@gmail.com Dear Sunghoon,   Thanks for letting me hang out at your house today. It’s been a while since I’ve eaten your mom’s cooking, I miss it.  Hoon, I hope you’ve been doing well. I hope you’ve been eating well, not missing your meals like I do, and that you’re always taking good care of yourself like how you’ve been taking care of me.  Honestly, I envy you.  How do you not develop feelings for someone who you’ve spent years with—who you’ve shared a bed and a blanket with multiple times, who you’ve eaten from the same utensils together a lot of times, whom you have hugged and cried with countless times. How do you not love someone, more than the boundaries of a mere friendship, who’s been there for you through ups and downs; who’s seen you at your best and your worst; who’s always making sure you’re taking care of yourself? How do you not fall in love with someone as kind as you? Sent 23:10 PM, 12th November. 

To: parksung.h0on812@gmail.com From: sincerely/n@gmail.com Sunghoon! We did it! National entrance exams are finally over! I can finally sleep in for a whole day…  I’m so proud of you. I’m so proud of us. We’ve been through so many things together, now—kindergarten, elementary, middle school and now we’re more than halfway through high school!  I can’t believe I’ve gone through so much with you by my side. I still remember you cheering me through my first violin recital back in second grade; and since then, you’ve never really missed any of my recitals. I still remember you teaching me how to skate, back in fourth grade, holding my hand tightly through every glide I took. I still remember you pulling me into one of the tightest hugs I’ve ever received from you, back in sixth grade, when you won the gold medal for the figure skating competition—I had never felt so joyful for someone other than you.  I hope with the last bit of the school year left for us to spend together, we’ll make a lot of memories.  Sent 23:46 PM, 14th November.  

Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. 

Your eyes immediately flutter open, alarmed by the noise at your window. Groggily, you force yourself to stand up and rush to the source of the sound—your blurry vision barely making up the figure of Sunghoon outside. 

“Let me in,” he says, voice muffled. “It’s cold.”

“No,” you mumble sleepily. “Who are you…?”

“Princess, it’s me,” he exclaims a little bit louder so you can hear him properly. Nodding idly, you obey and open the window for him to jump in. Sunghoon, noticing your extremely sleepy condition, wraps an arm around your shoulder. He closes the window securely with his free hand before guiding you to your bed. 

“Are you that sleepy?” he asks you as he guides you to sit down in front of him. “It’s only 2 AM.”

“Mhm,” you nod, “I’m so sleepy…” 

Sunghoon softly pushes away a strand of hair from your face, tucking it gently behind your ear. You’re not meeting his gaze, your eyes droopy as they fight for their life to stay open. “Do you want to sleep right now?”

You nod, and Sunghoon can’t help but chuckle—you look so unbearably cute. Then, after a minute of debating whether he should leave to let you sleep or not, Sunghoon decides to do something he’s been doing ever since the two of you were nine years old. 

Sunghoon pats his thigh, signalling for you to land your head on it. Sleepy and unaware of your surroundings, you obey and lay on his lap, shifting to make yourself comfortable. Within seconds, you’re already sailing back to dreamland. 

Actually, Sunghoon came to talk about his problems to you. It’s always been like that—you are each other’s safe place. He could tell you about anything and you’d listen, so intently that the problem is already instantly solved. 

In the dead of the night, Sunghoon smiles to himself as he admires a sleeping you. You look so comfortable, at home, in his presence. You look so ethereal, and the moon seems to agree. Its dainty glow highlights the best of your features, glistening upon contact with your beauty. You’re sleeping, breathing gently and possibly dreaming about food and fun memories—but Sunghoon’s cheeks are reddening. His breaths are shaky, and with each exhale, he’s admitting something that he’s been denying for almost a decade. 

Sunghoon likes you. 

More than what friends should. 

Sunghoon loves you—more than what he’d like to admit; more than what childhood friends of almost 10 years are supposed to. 

“I like you, Y/N,” he whispers, and with each word that escapes from his lips, his shoulders release its tension. “I’ve liked you for a long time now. I-I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I like you.”

Sunghoons laughs, shaking his head. “Maybe I’m insane. Maybe I am, ‘cause the way my heart beats for you doesn’t suit what we are. The way I pretend that we’re just friends when every single night, I’ll dream about you–” he bit his lip, in hopes to control his feelings from overflowing, “–that is insane.”

“I didn’t want to fall in love,” Sunghoon whispers, slowly lifting his hand. He begins to trace your facial features, so gentle like he’s going to shatter you into pieces if he’s too harsh. “But you—how can someone look at you and not fall in love, Y/N?”

His finger comes into a halt at your lips. Sunghoon stares intently, his heart urging him painfully to just kiss you. He leans and kisses your nose instead, so tenderly it seemed like barely a touch. 

Sunghoon smiles to himself, content. “One day, I’ll find the courage to tell you everything. I’ll tell you myself, how much I love you, how much I want you to be by my side for the rest of my life.”

THE next morning, you can’t help but laugh at the way Sunghoon’s gawking at you as you rush here and there to get ready. At first, you found it a bit weird how he slept on your floor the entire night, but given that he has been doing that for the past few years, you don’t really mind.

“What?” 

“What do you mean what?” Sunghoon grumbles. “Where are you going?”

You scrunch your nose, giggling. “Guess!” you exclaim, turning away to finish doing your hair. 

Sunghoon rolls his eyes. “How would I know? I mean, we are not going anywhere, so why are you dolling up?”

“Well,” you chuckle, “I’m going to the aquarium with Jaeyun. he asked—”

“JAKE?” Sunghoon yelps, almost falling off the edge of your bed. 

You pause at the sudden reaction, one that you did not expect from Sunghoon. “What? We’re just friends.”

“Yet it’s a date,” Sunghoon flatly addresses. 

“No it’s not!” you shriek, despite the fact that Sunghoon was in fact, correct. “I mean, yes, it is,” you roll your eyes at Sunghoon’s ‘I knew it’ expression. “But I haven’t said anything to him. Like, we’re not in a relationship or anything.”

You show Sunghoon your messages with Jake, hoping to ease the frown on his face. 

hi y/n

if you’re free today

let’s go to the aquarium? let’s go by train

“See?” you say, “it’s nothing.”

Sunghoon turns off your smartphone, placing it to the side. His eyes pierce straight through you. “You look ugly.”

You gasp, your eyes widening as your smile drops drastically. What could hurt more—getting told by your crush that you look ugly, or being rejected by him? 

“Okay, well, I take it back,” Sunghoon hesitates, “you l-look pretty. But, what I’m tryna say is that you don’t have to put on so much makeup.”

You stare at him, heart pounding so loudly as you await his next words. 

Sunghoon continues, eyes looking away from you, “you don’t have to doll up. He’ll like you just the way you are.”

He gives you an awkward smile—leaning forward to pat your head. “I’ll wait outside. I wanna greet Mrs. Lee and say thanks for letting me sleep here.”

You watch as Sunghoon hops off your bed and walks out of the room, closing the door gently behind him. Your eyes linger around at the door, as if you’re waiting for him to come back in and watch you get ready. You sigh, turn back to the mirror, and continue finishing your makeup—doubting if you really are overdoing things with every stroke of the makeup brush. 

MOMENTS later, you’re sitting in the taxi next to Sunghoon, who insisted so much that he accompanied you to the train station to meet Jake. His excuse? It’s so that you won’t get lost due to the heavy crowd at the station, and so that you won’t be too nervous to go on your first date with Jake. Sunghoon even went as far as to call your brother about it—and Heeseung agrees, so you have no choice but to obey.

“Do you like Jake?” Sunghoon asks, five minutes into the ride. 

His question is direct and forward, and it feels like a bomb dropped straight to your face. It challenges you to truly label your feelings, distinguishing it clearly. 

You return his gaze, biting your lower lip as you think of an answer. The answer is blurry between the lines of yes and no. “No? I mean, he’s a nice person.”

“So you like… like him?”

You aggressively shake your head. “No! I like him as a friend.”

“Then, you’re going on dates with him?” Sunghoon questions. 

Your mouth sets on a hard line. “Okay, listen. Jake likes me—not the other way around—and he offered to date me for one month.”

“And you agreed?” Sunghoon jabs, his arms crossing across his chest. 

Your gaze sharpens. “Gosh, Hoon, stop being so difficult! As I said, Jake’s just a friend. You don’t have to worry about anything. I agreed to dating him for a month as a ‘preview’ because he’s nice, and he likes me. Plus, it doesn’t hurt to try, does it?”

Sunghoon sighs, his jaw clenching. “You think love is a joke?”

Your mouth falls open, and for a few seconds, you struggle to form words. “N-no, I don’t. Love… it’s something serious to me, Hoon, and I know you know that. I’m just giving Jake a chance to prove himself to me.”

“Then if you don’t like him, you’ll reject him?” Sunghoon asks sharply, an eyebrow perched upwards in mockery. 

“Well… yeah,” you admit silently. 

You don’t know what you expect as Sunghoon’s next response, but you’re surprised to find simply nodding and turning away, scrolling through social media on his smartphone. The rest of the taxi ride remains silent, and Sunghoon only opens his mouth when you’ve arrived at the train station. 

“Go on, have fun,” Sunghoon says, urging you to go out before you can offer to pay the fare. “I’ll pay—plus, I have somewhere I need to go to.”

“Are you sure?” you ask as you step out of the vehicle. Sunghoon gives you a strained smile before nodding reassuringly.  

“Yes,” he replies. “Go on, princess, have fun at the aquarium. Don’t annoy Jake too much.”

“Okay,” you say, and you stand there, frozen as you watch the cab drive away. It’s painful, for some reason, to watch him let you go and do nothing about it. 

Though, the universe doesn’t seem to let you dwell onto that guilt for too long. The taxi Sunghoon is in barely goes out of your sight before someone taps your shoulder. You turn around and see Jake—he’s dressed casually in a white tee, a navy blue plaid shirt as a cardigan, and brown jeans. His hair is combed nicely, in a way that some of it falls perfectly on his forehead. 

“Hi,” you say, “you look nice.”

Jake smiles shyly, coughing it away. “Yeah. I-I mean, thanks. You look beautiful.”

You snort, scanning your own outfit—a white babydoll top with plain blue jeans. “Beautiful? I wouldn’t say that.”

Jake pouts. “You give yourself too little credit.”

“Whatever,” you shake your head. 

“So, um, let’s go?” Jake offers you his arm. “I know you might not want to… hold my hand, but if you hold my arm, you won’t get lost in the crowd.”

You give him a slight smile, accepting his offer by grabbing his arm. “Alright, let’s go.”

For the entire train ride to the aquarium, which took about 20 minutes, Jake had been nothing but kind and caring towards you, just how you expected him to be. He made sure to find a seat that was comfortable for you—he even offered his seat to an old lady. Though, he made sure to stand directly in front of you, acting as a shield or a protector. Jake kept a respectful distance from you, but at the same time, he made sure that no creeps or anything of that sort could make you uncomfortable. Of course, you got some comments from people around you that Jake is extremely lucky to have a girlfriend as pretty as you, and vice versa. You tried to deny them at first, clarifying that you and Jake are just friends, but you gave up halfway due to Jake’s speed—you wonder how he managed to reply to them faster than you do. 

When the train arrives at your designated stop, Jake offers you a hand—and you take it, letting him guide you through the ocean of people. At the ticket counter, you didn’t even have a chance to offer to pay—Jake did it all. 

It’s really awkward at first, having everyone look at you with heart eyes, whispering “aww, they’re so cute”, “oh my, they look so good together”, “look at him, so sweet, paying for his girlfriend” as you and Jake pass by. Though, all the awkwardness quickly dissolves away as soon as you set eyes on the aquariums on display. 

The first display hall of the aquarium is decorated with colourful and mystical lights, making the aquatic creatures living inside so much prettier. You pull out your smartphone and take numerous pictures; Jake walking close behind you, observing you intently. He smiles gently as he watches you in awe of the corals and jellyfish, sneaking a few pictures of you. 

Once the two of you reach the highlight of the aquarium, which is the aquarium tunnel, you can’t help but gasp in complete astonishment. Jake watches with amusement, laughing along with you as you spin around, taking in the view around you.

“Jaeyun!” you squeal, the edges of your eyes crinkling as you smile widely. “Look! It’s so pretty!”

To you, the view around you is breathtaking—with every turn, you see sharks swimming around, followed by unknown schools of fishes and aquatic life. But, to Jake, the breathtaking view is you. Features illuminated by hues of blue and purple light, Jake can’t help but smile merrily at the sight of you, happily admiring the scenery in the aquarium. 

“Yeah,” Jake replies, breathless. “It’s pretty,” he says, but he’s looking at you. 

To: parksung.h0on812@gmail.com From: sincerely/n@gmail.com Hi Sunghoon, Today’s date with Jaeyun was really fun! I haven’t been to the aquarium in Busan for quite some time, so it’s nice to be there! He paid for everything, of course, so I had to enjoy it ten times more! Hehe. He also paid for lunch… I kinda feel bad. I tried to refuse and pay for myself, but Jaeyun wouldn’t let me. :(  Hmm. I hope you aren’t upset with me spending time with Jaeyun. Okay, honestly, I don’t know why I’m saying this in the first place, but… I don’t know if I should continue loving you. Sure, I still do love you, but maybe, for the sake of my heart, I’ll keep my love strictly within the limits of friendship.  I don’t know. I still like you. I want to be with you, grow old and create countless memories with you. But I have to take care of my heart, too, don’t I?  It’s been five years, Sunghoon, and I don’t know if my love will ever be reciprocated. I don’t know if you’ll ever love me back the same way. Besides, with school ending in five months, it’s certain that we’ll diverge in our paths—not meeting each other again for years to come. I don’t want to be in pain, Sunghoon, but at the same time, I’m willing to go through even the harshest storms and pits of hell for you.  Sent 19:15 PM, 15th November.

Closing your laptop shut, you hit yoursel lightly. How could you forget? It’s Jake’s birthday! You only realised after seeing Naeun’s text, reminding you if you’d come over to her house to help Fdaniset up for Jennie and Jake’s surprise birthday party . The two of you had gone out together for the day, and you didn’t even wish him a happy birthday. Trying not to trip, you grab your purse, smartphone and a puffer coat, and run out of the house. You rush to a nearby cafe—thankfully there has been a bakery in your neighbourhood—to buy two small lunch box cakes. You whip out your smartphone, dialling Jake’s number. The sun is setting, and you desperately hope he answers, despite only parting ways with you less than 30 minutes ago. 

“Y/N?” his voice came through.

You let out a shaky laugh of relief. “Oh, thank you for answering the phone. Are you free?”

“Are you okay?” he asks. “I-I mean, I’m free. Just chilling at home right now. Why?”

“I… want to drop something off,” you say, carefully choosing your words. You certainly don’t want the cake in your hands to not be a surprise. “I-I mean! I want to give you… something.”

You hear Jake chuckle. “Okay, I’ll meet you—send me your location?”

“Can we just meet at your house?” you inquire, not wanting to give Jake an inconvenience. 

“I don’t prefer having the lady go out of her way to meet me,” Jake replies after some silence, “I prefer going out of my way to meet her.”

Your nose crinkles as you try to hold in your shyness. “O-oh, okay… I’ll send you my location.”

You quickly end the call, and send him the location of the cafe you’re standing in front of. A few minutes later, you see Jake running up to you—his hair messily tousled by the wind, his chest heaving up and down drastically. 

“Did you run here?” you ask.

Jake nods. “Yeah. I wanted to meet you.”

You laugh, soft like the wind. “We literally just met this afternoon, Jaeyun.”

“Anyway,” you say, stretching out your arms to show the lunchbox cake, the one that you had asked the shop employee to say ‘Happy Birthday, Jaeyun!’ on it, to Jake. “Happy birthday. I’m sorry I didn’t say it earlier today, I didn’t realise it was your birthday too… I mean, you acted like it was a normal day!”

“My birthday too?” Jake asks, amusement glinting in his eyes. “Did you forget that Jennie’s my twin sister?”

You pout, not knowing what to say. “I’m sorry…”

After grabbing the cake from your hands, Jake leans forward and pats your head. “Thank you, Y/N. Means a lot.” 

Then, feeling the buzz of your smartphone in your pocket, you’re reminded of the birthday surprise you need to help Naeun with. You quickly say goodbye, and wish Jake a happy birthday again before running off to catch a taxi. 

Jake watches you go, his eyes lingering a second longer, even after the taxi you’re in leaves his line of sight. He turns his attention to the lunchbox cake in his hands, a smile curving up his lips as he examines its design—a cute puppy, on a plain white cake, saying ‘Happy Birthday, Jaeyun!’. 

Jake turns on his heel and merrily walks home. Deep in his heart, he knows that the girl he likes has her heart set on someone else, yet this little gesture feels like he’s won her over. It’s short and doesn’t last as long as he’d like it to be, but the butterflies it gives him is enough to last him awhile. 

AS you’re desperately wishing for the traffic to die down quickly, due to you needing to be at Naeun’s house as quickly as possible, your thoughts lead your mind elsewhere. You’re back to thinking about your interaction with Jake—how his surprised yet grateful smile seemed to hide a thousand more emotions behind its perfection… it lingers in your mind. His gestures are sweet and really, really thoughtful—he’s willing to go out of his way for you, always managing to crack a smile from you. 

Deep down, you know Jake cares about you. He’s everything you had looked for in a partner—he’s willing to learn more about you, he’s patient and kind, he’s good looking and he’s smart—if only your heart wasn’t tightly bound to someone else. 

Halfway to Naeun’s place, your smartphone buzzes with a text message. This time, it’s from Naeun. You quickly open it, expecting a “hurry up, Y/N!” or some kind of instruction for the surprise—instead, you find a picture of Jake with the lunchbox cake you gave him. He’s smiling, posing in front of his house, holding it up to the camera with that goofy, happy grin that makes your heart do a little flip. 

y/n, did you give this cake to him? 

it’s on his instagram story

You reply, 

yes. but it’s not the one we’re surprising them with

it’s with me rn

You watch Naeun’s reply pop out on the screen. 

oh good

scared me

also, what’s up with the caption? 

“I think I’m in love with her, Y/N. This cake... it’s everything to me. She’s everything.” 

The message halts you in motion. Your fingers hover over the screen, unsure of what to reply. For a moment, you’re sitting there, staring at the screen while the traffic buzzes around the taxi you’re in. 

The message is like a hard slap to the face, but instead of making you cry, it makes you second guess everything.

Is Jake really falling for you? Are his actions purely out of love, and not just some casual ‘I like you’ kind of thing? Is he really waiting for something, some kind of answer, from you? 

You press your lips into a thin line, thinking hard. 

Jake has been nothing but patient, kind and loving towards you. He’s everything that every girl, including you, would ask for. Though, that fact comes with a feeling that you can’t shake off—every time you think of Jake’s smile, his kindness and his warmth; it all drifts back to Sunghoon. How the world seems to revolve around him, his smile that makes you think of bread whenever you see it, the warmth of his hugs, and the comfort of his presence. 

Your heart always seems to find its way back to Sunghoon. 

You swallow thickly, trying to push the guilt down. It’s not fair to Jake. It’s not fair to anyone, especially you, because you’re the one stuck in the middle of two worlds.

Do you pick Jake, or do you stay with Sunghoon?

THE surprise birthday party is a blur. Everyone’s laughing, chatting, eating their hearts away, and there’s a sense of celebration in the air—but you can’t quite ignore the clenching feeling in your stomach. You’ve got two different people to think about now, and you don’t know how to navigate the space between them.

And all the while, Jake’s smile from earlier keeps dancing in your mind. The way he’d looked at you as you handed him the cake, the way he’d thanked you so earnestly. Why did a small, lunch box cake seem to mean so much to him? How do you even respond to that? How do you face him, knowing he’s waiting for something that you might not be able to give?

You glance across the room, catching Jake’s eye as he talks with Jennie. You quickly look away, feeling a small, warm burn in your cheeks. You can’t help but wonder what he’s thinking, and more importantly, if he knows that your heart is, somehow, still tethered to someone else.

You pull your eyes away, unaware that Jake had quickly excused himself to approach you.

You sit in silence at the dining table, the birthday party bustling around you. It’s a small party, yet you can feel the high excitement and energy in the atmosphere. You sit alone at your seat, sipping on your drink. Sunghoon had left for a while to get some refreshments for everyone, so you’re left sitting by yourself. 

“Y/N,” Jake says, pulling you out of your haze. “May I sit?”

You give him a quick smile as you nod. “Of course.”

“Are you not enjoying yourself?” Jake asks, grabbing a slice of pizza. “You’re quiet.”

You glance at the ceiling, feeling awkward as you don’t know what to say. You laugh sheepishly. “No, of course not! I am enjoying myself! Just… you know… soaking in everything.”

Jake laughs, throwing his head back. “I can tell with one eye closed that you want to go home right now.”

“Yeah, I should probably study,” you reply with a laugh. 

Your conversation with Jake dims down, and the ambiance of the party resurfaces. You’re sitting in front of Jake, stiffly avoiding his gaze as he’s observing you. It’s like he has a million things to say, but can’t seem to find the right words. 

“Y/N,” Jake suddenly says, his voice unsteady. “Thanks for making this surprise party for me and Jennie.”

You smile at him, breaking eye contact as soon as he finishes speaking. Suddenly, Layla chasing around her tail in the corner becomes such an interesting thing to watch. 

“Of course.”

You connect your gaze with Jake, and you instantly are reminded of the conversation you had earlier at the aquarium. 

THE tension between you and Jake is physical as you take in the beauty of the aquarium, elatedly ignorant of Jake’s silent adoration of you. Sure, the aquarium is beautiful—the lights dancing off the walls of the tunnel, creating wavy shadows of mesmerising colours, illuminating the ocean creatures in a magical way—but, for Jake, you are the most captivating sight. 

Jake watches you, his focus unwavering from you, with pure content as you spin with excitement, pointing out every creature you lay your eyes upon. There’s an assured warmth in his eyes, the way he lays his eyes on you with a quiet affection that’s very much impossible to ignore; and for a moment, you wonder if maybe you’ve misjudged his feelings. Maybe there’s something deeper there that you haven’t fully acknowledged yet. Maybe he does really really like you—not the casual high school fling you thought he felt. 

“Y/N,” you turn around and your pupils immediately dilate at the sight of Jake, who’s taking a step closer to you. 

Jake gives you a genuine smile. One that made you see that, indeed, there are raw and vulnerable emotions behind Decelis Academy’s basketball ace’s handsome face. His voice is wobbly. “Thank you, really, for doing this with me. I’m really glad because I’m… I’m having a lot of fun, actually. More than I thought I would.”

You glance at him as you stiffly nod, your lips forming a half-smile. 

“Of course,” you reply, feeling a pang in your chest as you remember Sunghoon’s words earlier in the taxi. Was he right? Could it be that Jake is looking for something more from you, and you’re just breaking his heart by doing this—the one-month dating agreement, where you yourself are uncertain if you’d reciprocate his feelings? “Me too—it’s been nice.”

Jake takes a deep breath, and as he continues, you begin to wonder if he read your mind. “I know you don’t think that this isn’t a real ‘date’ or anything… but I’d like to think of it as a real one—more than just hanging out, more than just a preview.”

You don’t dare meet his eyes. Instead, you direct your focus to the tight schools of fish swimming gracefully in the water, scales shimmering as they catch light.

“Y/N…”

You look directly into his dark brown eyes, the raw emotions swirling dangerously inside. 

“I think you’re really special, Y/N. I-I just wanted to let you know that.”

Your steps come to a halt, and Jake almost bumps into you. You turn completely to face Jake, immediately overwhelmed by how heavy the situation feels. You can feel Jake’s palpable sincerity, and as you try to process his words, the rest of the aquarium fades into the background. The tunnel seems to shrink, your surroundings blurring slightly as your focus zeroes in on Jake’s face—his solemn expression, his vulnerability out in the open for you to see.

“You’re a good person, Jaeyun, you really are,” you start, your throat shaking as you struggle to keep your voice steady. Each word feels heavy for your tongue to pronounce—Jake’s gaze is heavy on you, and a small part of you wants to be brutally honest with him, to say the truth that’s been swimming in your chest all day.

“I’m really grateful to have you as a friend, as a tablemate,” you continue, desperately hoping your emphasis on the word friend delivered the message to Jake. You give him a small, almost apologetic smile.

“But, you know…” you say, your fingers fidgeting with the edges of your top. You take a deep breath before finishing your sentence. 

“Right now, I’m… not sure if I can give you what you’re looking for,” you say, and with each letter you utter, the tension from your shoulders releases one by one. “I thought about it, Jaeyun, I really did. But I cherish you—as a friend—so much that I don’t have the heart to make you go through something one sided.”

Jake slowly nods, and you could almost hear your heart splitting as his face softens—you swear you saw a flicker of disappointment in his eyes. 

“O-of course, I figured,” he says, the crack in his voice evident. He sighs shakily, and for a second, he looks at his shoes to collect his thoughts. He looks back at you, his eyes sparkling with tears that are threatening to fall. “It’s foolish of me to expect anything from someone who’s heart belongs to another, b-but, I just wanted to… put it out there, you know?”

“I like you, Y/N,” Jake confesses, his hand placed above his heart as if he’s trying to stop it from jumping out of his chest. “I really do. I know I have no chance at all, but there’s no harm in trying, right? I just… hope that you might feel the same.”

Your heart skips a beat, and a wave of guilt washes over you. “Jaeyun… I’m sorry, I really am–”

Jake smiles, though it’s not a full smile. “It’s okay. I get it. It’s just… I don’t know. I guess I wanted to know what it would feel like to be with you like that. I thought maybe if we tried, you’d feel what I feel. But… I respect your feelings, Y/N. You don’t have to feel the same way.”

Silence falls between the two of you, and for a moment, neither of you says anything. You stand in your place, watching Jake wipe a hidden tear away from his cheek, taking a deep breath to compose himself. You feel a want to comfort him, to tell him that you’re very grateful to have him as a friend, to tell him that you’re not rejecting him as a person—it’s just that you aren’t ready to give him what he’s looking for in you. 

Though, you stay silent—the moment is too raw, too delicate for you to say anything and ruin it. 

So, instead of talking about it, you grab Jake’s arm, turning your focus back to the aquarium. “Should we go see the penguins next? They must look so cute.”

Jake lets out a heavy breath, and for a second, you think he’s going to pull away or make things awkward between you. But instead, he nods, and his smile returns, albeit a little smaller. “Yeah, that sounds great. Let’s go.”

The rest of your aquarium date goes smoothly without any hiccups, though it flows with a quiet and unspoken understanding. Jake’s demeanour is unchanged—he takes good pictures of you, he smiles and he laughs, though you could feel that his gaze is heavier with a touch of disappointment. You two enjoy the aquarium together, and even though things feel a little unsettled between you and Jake, there’s a comforting familiarity in the way you share small moments of laughter and quiet companionship. 

By the time the sun begins to set, you and Jake are both sitting on a bench outside the aquarium, munching on churros, watching the last few visitors leave. 

Jake turns to you again, his features soft and delicate. “Thanks… thanks for coming, Y/N. I’m glad you agreed to this, I’m glad you came. Even if it’s just as friends.”

You nod, suddenly conscious of the number of chews you made before swallowing a bite of churros. “Me too,” you quietly reply, turning away to look at the soft evening glow of the sky. “Thanks, Jaeyun, for being patient with me—for being my friend, for everything. I know it hasn’t been… easy.”

“Yeah, of course. I mean, it isn’t easy, but it’s worth it,” Jake shrugs, looking way too relaxed despite the tension he faced earlier. “Definitely. You are worth it, Y/N.”

The two of you exchange smiles, briefly, as you quickly turn your head away, feeling a little too shy and awkward to look Jake directly in the eye. 

“I just want you to be happy, Y/N,” Jake continues, his voice silent as if he’s talking to himself, yet he wants his words to be heard by you. “Whether that’s with me, or… not with me. I’m okay either way. My happiness is yours.”

You finally turn to Jake, staring deep into his glistening brown eyes. His words are sincere, and in your heart, you feel a swell of gratitude for his maturity. You know that Jake is someone who will always care for you, no matter what the two of you are, no matter where your relationship goes. And as you sit there in comfortable silence, the only thing that’s certain is that, for now, being friends with Jake is the best you can offer him.

To: parksung.h0812@gmail.com From: sincerely/n@gmail.com Sunghoon, You know, I’ve been thinking about us. I mean, me—how did I even fall in love with my own best friend in the first place. After a few moments of thinking, I believe I finally got it.  It was back in second grade. I remember our homeroom teacher asking us to draw a picture of us with our best friend as part of the art class—I remember drawing you and I. we had only just got to know each other for a few months, and I wasn’t even sure if you saw me as a friend too.  I was nervous to present my piece to the class, afraid that my friendship was one-sided.  The shock mixed with happiness that hit me when Naeun had shouted to the whole class, pointing to your piece, saying “teacher, look! He also drew Y/N!” I had never felt so belonged before.  Though, I don’t know if I should continue loving you. I’ve always loved you, but I don’t think I can bear it any longer, waiting for something that’s never going to happen. Thank you, Sunghoon, for being my friend all this time. I owe you my life, and I’d do anything for you. I hope you know that.  And even though I do resent you, just a little bit, for not reciprocating my love—I’ll always cherish you. If not as a lover, if not as someone who’ll stay with me till the end of time… as a friend.  Sunghoon, I’m giving up on you now. I love you, but I can’t wait forever. Sent 23:32 PM, 22nd November. 

JAKE is sitting in his room, completing homework as usual. However, nothing is going right—he’s suddenly getting all of the questions he usually gets right wrong. He pushes himself off of his chair, laying down flat on the heated floor.

Jake sighs. 

His mind is swirling with many things—you. He vividly remembers the way you offer him a guilty smile, endlessly apologising as you friendzoned him. He’s not mad about it, he’s just sad that he can’t get a chance at loving the girl he likes just because she’s stuck up on a guy, for five years, who clearly wants nothing but to be just friends with her.  

You had just left his house, 30 minutes ago, after completing a biology research paper together. You had been assigned as partners with him, and the two of you did your job well. It’s difficult to shrug off the evident awkwardness between you and Jake, but you admit that Jake’s really good at continuing off your friendship from where you left off. 

“Jaeyun,” he remembers you beaming, as he walks you to the door. 

“Yeah?” he breathed, still mesmerised by your smile. 

“Thank you,” you said with a smile, sincere and heartwarming. “Thank you for still being my friend, and thank you for always treating me well, despite the heartbreak I may have caused you.”

Jake remembers grinning, patting your head as a way of saying that it’s all in the past, and he’s okay with it now. “It’s alright, Y/N, I’m thankful that I still get to be around you.”

You nodded, turning on your heel to begin walking home. However, before you could even step out of his driveway, Jake stopped you. 

“Y/N,” he said, “I-I just wanted to say that if you ever decide that you’re… ready to give me what I’m hoping for, know that I’ll be here waiting.”

“Jaeyun… you might wait for quite some time,” you sighed. 

Jake smiled—it doesn’t quite reach his eyes, yet you can see the hope seeping through. “It’s okay. If you can wait for Sunghoon for five years, I can wait for you for more.”

You chuckled, smiling widely at Jake. “Thank you, Jae.”

Jake pressed a swift kiss to your forehead, and you froze—unusually not flinching or retracting at it. He smiled, mirroring your sincerity. “Of course—and if Sunghoon ever decides to break your heart, tell me. I’ll fight him for you.”

You laughed heartily, your heart swelling with joy at the fact that someone is here for you despite the longing and the pain you’re going through. 

Jake takes a deep breath, smiling as he recalls the moment. It hurts, that’s true, yet he’s determined to give you all that he has—one moment Sunghoon is caught slacking, he’ll be there for you, always.

“YO, Sunghoon,” Kangmin says, breaking the silence in the room. The two of them had been working on the biology group assignment together for the past few hours in Sunghoon’s room. Sunghoon turns towards his friend. 

“What?”

Kangmin, who had been sprawled all over the bedroom floor, gets up and sits up straight. He ruffles his hair before saying, “do you have a spare email? Like, one that you don’t use anymore.”

Sunghoon pauses to think. “Yeah, I do. Why?” 

Kangmin smiles sheepishly, scooting closer to Sunghoon, who’s sitting cross-legged on the floor, papers and books spread out around him. 

“Hey,” he says, mustering up an innocent smile—which is met by a vicious side eye from Sunghoon. “Can I use it?”

“For what?”

“I think my girlfriend isn’t interested in me anymore,” Kangmin replies, pouting. “I’m not entirely sure yet, so I’m going to make a fake instagram profile, using your unused email address, to test my theory out.”

Sunghoon goes poker-faced, obviously unimpressed. “Are you crazy?”

Kangmin insists. “Aww, please, Sunghoon? I really need it.”

“Fine,” Sunghoon grumbles. He opens a new window on his computer to log into an old email account, parksung.h0on812@gmail.com, the one that he hasn’t used ever since middle school ended. He’s surprised to still have the password to it saved on his Google Chrome—and easily logs in. 

Sunghoon’s eyebrows perk up in confusion at the red dot near the inbox icon, the numbers significantly high for an unused email address. 

“I’m sure I didn’t subscribe to any newsletter or anything on here,” he mutters to himself. 

Sunghoon clicks on the inbox tab, eyes widening upon what he’s seeing.

Countless emails, sent from an email address he’s all too familiar with. 

Yours. 

Sunghoon’s eyes scans the inbox, his disbelief growing with every second that passes by. His heart is racing, pumping so harshly he’s afraid it’d pop out of his chest. 

He’s familiar with the name of the sender—Y/N—his best friend, his rock, the person he’s liked for so long. 

There are so many emails—too many to ignore. The subject lines are all over the place: “What’s going on with my heart?”, “Thanks for letting me hang out at your house today…”, “I think I just fell in love with you again.”

Sunghoon’s heart pulses even faster, but he can’t seem to stop himself. He clicks on the most recent one, his heart pounding in his ears as the screen fills with words.

His heart stops for a split moment as he reads: “I’m giving up on you now. I love you, but I can’t wait forever.”

What did you mean by that?

Sunghoon stammers, not knowing how to react. His hand hovers above the mouse, hesitating to click anything. A lump forms in his throat, and tears threaten to form at the corner of his eyes. His thoughts start crashing down, and before he can even stop himself, he’s opening another email. And then another. And another. 

Each one hits him with a sensation more painful than a ton of bricks hitting from above. The emails all have one thing in common: you have been writing to him for months. Writing to him, pouring out your heart, confessing feelings that you pictured as something obvious yet he never knew about, and… he hadn’t noticed. All the smiles, the eye contacts that lasted a second too long, the hugs that made each of you feel like you’re made for one another… he realises that it meant something to you too. 

“I’ve always loved you..” 

“But I don’t think I can bear it any longer, waiting for something that’s never going to happen.”

Sunghoon’s chest tightens. His eyes flickers over the sentence again and again, each word displayed hitting him hard. His fingers freeze, unsure if he should keep scrolling or not. It feels like he’s been hit by a storm of emotions that he isn’t sure how to process.

“Sunghoon?” Kangmin’s voice pulls him out of his haze. 

Sunghoon looks up, startled, but then glances back at the screen, trying to collect his thoughts.

“What the hell?” Kangmin continues. “Park Sunghoon? Are you listening to me?”

Kangmin, who’s been watching Sunghoon for a while, curiously taps his shoulder. “Bro, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Y/N…” Sunghoon mutters, his voice barely audible. He’s still staring at the screen, mind dizzy. “She… she’s been writing to me.”

Kangmin raises an eyebrow, clearly confused. He breathily asks, “what do you mean? Like, she sends you emails?”

Sunghoon swallows hard, clicking on another email. This one was from a few months ago.

“I wish I was better. I don’t know if I’m good enough for you, but if you ever need a girlfriend, or a wife one day… I’m here. Always.”

The weight of the words crushes him.

Kangmin’s teasing grin fades as he notices Sunghoon’s expression shift from confusion to something more profound. “W-wait. What? Are these... from Y/N? Are you telling me she’s been in love with you? For real?”

Sunghoon nods slowly, still unable to look away from the screen. “I… I never knew.”

Kangmin blinks, looking between Sunghoon and the open inbox. “Dude, I thought you two were just friends.”

“We are. Definitely. We are,” Sunghoon’s voice is hoarse, like he’s trying to convince himself. “But these... These are real. She’s been telling me everything, and I—”

Sunghoon inhales sharply, stopping himself from continuing. His mind is flooded with thoughts—how could he have missed the signs? How could he not notice how you felt?

“What are you going to do now?” Kangmin asks after a moment. “Are you going to talk to her about it?”

Sunghoon doesn’t answer immediately. He meets Kangmin’s eyes, like he’s trying to find solutions. His thoughts are still sprawling, and one question lingers around the longest—is he losing you? Have you truly given up on him?

“I’ll talk to her—no, I need to talk to her,” Sunghoon finally says, each word slipping off his tongue quieter than the other. “I have to make things straight—I can’t lose her. I-I… She deserves the truth more than anything.”

Kangmin grows a tiny smug smirk. “The truth? Well, man, don’t leave me hanging like you did with Y/N—what’s the truth?”

Sunghoon stands up, determination filling his veins like never before. “I like her—I’ve liked her for a very long time. I’ve been such a coward all this time. An idiot, all this while.”

Kangmin grins, leaning back on the floor. He sighs with content. “Now that’s what I’m talking about.”

Sunghoon turns to him with a furrowed brow. “Hey, I’m serious, Kangmin. I don’t know if I have a chance to fix this. But I’m going to try. I can’t just—I can’t just…let her go.”

The thought of losing you completely—of never getting the chance to be honest about his feelings, to be honest and open to you about what he’s been hiding in his heart—hits him harder than anything else. He grabs his smartphone, fingers already dialling your number before he even realises it. 

SUNGHOON stands on top of the hill, surrounded by yellow crimson trees and chilly air. He’s bundled up in a long trench coat, and the autumn wind is blowing through his hair. He called you to meet him here, telling you that he’s got something to discuss with you.

It hasn’t even been five minutes since he’s arrived, and he already sees you getting off the bus, running towards him. You reach him, crouching as you pant heavily to catch your breath. 

“What the hell, Hoon,” you say between heaves of breaths. “Also, are you okay? You’ve been a little off lately, is it hockey practice?”

Sunghoon shrugs. “Yeah. I-I’ve been quite tired with school and practice.”

“Okay… so, what’s up? You said you wanted to tell me something,” you ask Sunghoon. 

You look up to Sunghoon, realising how tall he is—you shake your head, wanting to stay resolute on the decision you made to move on. Waiting for Sunghoon to reply, you recall the email you sent him yesterday. It’s hard, and you know that—your heart still skips a beat whenever you see him smile, and your cheeks still turn pink whenever he calls you ‘princess’. 

Though, it’s been five years.

You’ve thought of it long and hard, and ultimately, you decide to slowly let your feelings go. You know that accepting that Sunghoon is never going to reciprocate the love you bear for him will make you feel lighter, little by little, and it will help calm your nerves from all the swirling thoughts of him, Jake, and everything else going on. However, you also know that it’s a challenging process that will take a long time to go through.

“It took me ten years to find the right words to say this,” Sunghoon begins, out of the blue, startling you. 

He pauses, his mouth slightly open, as if he’s hesitating to continue. As if he’s unsure of what to say first. 

“What?” you breathe, uncertain if you should be relieved or scared.

Sunghoon looks at you for a moment, and then his gaze softens. You’ve never seen him look so… vulnerable. There’s something different in the way he’s standing there, next to you against the cold autumn winds, like he's on the edge of a cliff. He closes his mouth, and opens it again, but nothing comes out.

A minute passes in silence, heavy and full of unspoken things. Finally, Sunghoon exhales shakily, his shoulders relaxing just a little as he begins to speak again.

“I read the emails.” 

His voice is barely above a whisper, but the words still land like a punch to the gut, its impact so big it knocks the breath out of you. “I had no idea. You’ve been... carrying this all alone, haven’t you?”

You’re caught off guard. You can’t look at him directly, your eyes flicker here and there, panic filling your nerves. The words tumble out before you can stop them. “Sunghoon, I—”

“No,” he interrupts, his voice gentle and his gaze is locked on yours, honest and raw. “I should’ve known. I should’ve seen it. I never noticed how much you’ve been giving. How much you’ve been waiting for me.”

You feel the tension tighten between you both, and something vulnerable stirs in your chest.

He saw the emails? 

Your heart begins to race. For a second, your mind is overwhelmed, but the sincerity in his eyes keeps you in place.

“I didn’t want to burden you with this, Hoon,” you finally manage to say, your voice shaky. “I thought it was better if I just… kept it inside. I thought we’re better off as friends. I didn't want to mess up what we had. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. But… I can't help how I feel.”

Sunghoon’s gaze softens, his voice slow but determined. “Y/N, I should’ve told you a long time ago. I’ve been so stupid. I was afraid it’d ruin everything. I–oh my gosh,” he ruffles his hair aggressively, pacing here and there before finally stopping in front of you, his stance determined.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he demands, his voice cracking.

A warm tear falls down your cheeks, sending goosebumps throughout your body. You didn’t even realise you had been crying. “Because I was scared,” you quietly answered, your voice hoarse. 

Silence. 

The wind flutters between the two of you, stinging against your skin. 

“I… I feel the same way.” 

His words are almost fragile, like he's unsure whether to say them or not. “I’ve always felt the same. I just… never brought it up… until now. But I’m here now. And I’m finally being honest with you. I’m not going anywhere.”

Your tongue goes numb. Everything’s hitting you at the same time, crushing you under its pressure. 

Sunghoon watches you intently, waiting for a response. Getting no answer from you, he takes a step forward. 

“Y/N,” he calls softly. “Princess, answer me.”

Tears begin to rapidly fall down your cheeks, your vision blurring, a response to the culmination of years of suppressed emotions. Your shoulders begin to heave up and down as you sob silently. Sunghoon’s frown falters, and he pulls you into a hug. It’s comforting, warm, and feels like home—perfectly where you always wanted to be. 

“I’m sorry, princess, it took me so long to realise,” he mutters, placing his chin on top of your head. 

“I’ve waited for five years, Hoon,” you sob against his chest. Sunghoon smiles softly, rubbing soothing circles on your back. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here now,” he replies, “I’ll be here for you till the end of time.”

“I’ve always wanted to be the one for you, Y/N,” Sunghoon says, and your heart begins to race in disbelief.

“N-no,” you reply with a suppressed laugh, “I thought I was alone in this.”

“No,” Sunghoon shakes his head, “no, Y/N, you were never alone in this.”

“We don’t have to figure everything out right now.” Sunghoon says quietly, “I just want you to know I’m here. We’ll take it slow, okay?” 

You nod, still in his embrace. 

Like autumn, the wind rustling through the trees and golden leaves falling around them—the atmosphere around you and Sunghoon is changing. The world is moving on, yet the moment is special, as if it’s frozen in time. 

THE scent of roasted chestnuts and warm bungeo-ppang fills the crisp winter air. Around you, the night market is bustling, filled with clouds of steamy breaths and people bundled under thick coats and scarves, lined up just to buy their favourite winter treats. 

You stare at the bungeo-ppang in your hands, then at Sunghoon, who’s standing in front of you. 

“You brought me here, away from the comfort of my warm blanket, just to buy me this?” 

Sunghoon shrugs, biting into his own fish-shaped pastry. “You always wanted the most fresh, warm, and crispiest one, so I made sure to get the best for you.”

You narrow your eyes. “You’re bribing me to like you back, aren’t you?”

He smirks. “Maybe. Is it working?”

You roll your eyes, scoffing. You bite a piece out of your bungeo-ppang, looking up at Sunghoon. Your heart stutters, catching the way Sunghoon is looking at you—soft, patient, like you’re someone worth waiting even a thousand years for. 

You slowly chew the contents of your mouth, cheeks warm, but you still keep your eye contact. 

Then, almost too casually, Sunghoon says, “I want to be your first and last love.”

Your eyes bulge, and you cough as you try not to choke. Your breath catches in your throat, your fingers freezing mid-motion. The words, sudden yet sincere, hang around you and Sunghoon, light but unbelievably heavy. 

You begin to smile. You stuff a piece of bungeo-ppang into Sunghoon’s mouth. “That was so cheesy.”

Sunghoon laughs, his eyes crinkling into crescent moons. He barely manages to chew before he replies, “but you liked it.”

You don’t answer. 

Instead, you tug him down by his scarf and kiss him. 

The bungeo-ppang in your hand, your favourite winter snack, is forgotten the moment the distance between you and Sunghoon, your favourite person, closes, and his warmth melts into your own.

― © htaesan, 2025.

⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ check out PART ONE

⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀want more like this? check out the 𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄

[lanalosty0uu]

Take A Chance With Me

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

summary: will the Steve Harrington takes a chance with you after his break up with Nancy Wheeler?

a/n: slight angst!!! fluff, hopeless romantic reader

general master list

inspired by the song:

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The first time you saw Steve Harrington smile, you knew you were in trouble.

You tried to play it cool—because that’s what you always did. You were the laid-back one, the nonchalant one, the girl who didn’t wear your heart on your sleeve. But every time Steve flashed that easy, lopsided grin, something twisted in your chest, and you had to force yourself to look away before your feelings bled out for everyone to see.

But Steve Harrington had always been in love with Nancy Wheeler. And for the longest time, You had accepted that. You kept your head down, kept your heart guarded, and kept herself at a safe distance. You told yourself that it didn’t matter—that his laughter wasn’t the sweetest sound you’d ever heard, that the way his eyes crinkled when he was amused didn’t make your stomach flip.

But then Nancy broke up with him.

It wasn’t quiet, and it wasn’t subtle. Word spread fast in Hawkins High, and your heard the whispers long before you saw the fallout. Nancy Wheeler dumped Steve Harrington at Tina’s party—drunk, angry, and loud enough for half the school to hear. Steve had been trying to keep his cool, but you had seen him storm out, jaw clenched and eyes dark, and you’d wanted to follow him.

You didn’t, though. You told yourself it wasn’t your place.

But on Monday, when Steve slumped into his seat next to you in history class, looking like a kicked puppy, you couldn’t help the way your heart leapt.

“Hey,” you said, keeping your voice as casual as possible. “You look miserable.”

He shrugged, his eyes fixed on the desk. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

You wanted to say more—perhaps calm him down a little bit, but the words stuck. Instead, you nudged your notebook toward him. “You missed the notes from last week. If you want to catch up.”

Steve blinked at you, like he wasn’t used to anyone offering him kindness. “Thanks,” he said, his voice soft.

That afternoon, you found him sitting alone behind the school, a cigarette dangling from his fingers and his head tipped back against the wall.

“That bad, huh?” you asked, dropping down beside him.

He didn’t even flinch. “You heard.”

“Everyone heard,” she said gently.

He let out a bitter laugh. “Figures.”

You sat in silence for a minute before Steve spoke again. “I don’t get it. I did everything right. I was good to her, you know? And she—she said I wasn’t enough.”

Your heart twisted. “Steve—”

“I don’t even know who I am without her,” he said quietly.

You wanted to tell him. You wanted to say he was kind, and funny, and brave. That he didn’t need Nancy Wheeler to define him. But for your own sake, you kept it inside, because this wasn’t about you.

“You’re still you,” you said instead. “And that’s enough.”

He looked at you then—really looked at you—and for a second, you thought maybe he saw you truly.

“Thanks,” he said softly.

And that was how it started. You offered to help him with his notes because he clearly hadn’t been paying attention in class. You made stupid jokes under your breath just to see his lips twitch upward. You asked him about his day, and when his eyes finally met yours—warm and grateful—you thought, maybe. Just maybe.

══════════════════════

Days turned into weeks, and their easy companionship settled into something familiar, something you weren’t sure how to define. You studied together, sat next to each other in class, and sometimes Steve would find you at lunch when his usual crowd wasn’t around.

One afternoon, you were studying in the library when Steve’s laughter filled the quiet space. Your breath caught. You would’ve died for that sound. And as his eyes met yours, bright and full of warmth, you wondered if he could see the way you were falling apart.

“You’re kind of a lifesaver, you know,” he said, his voice low.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Your heart thumped painfully against your ribs. You wanted to say, “You don’t have to,” wanted to tell him you’d always be there, that you’d run to him without question. But instead, she forced a smile and said,

“What are friends even for?”

But God, you wanted to be more than that. You wanted him to take a chance—with you.

The lines between friendship and something more kept blurring. He started sitting closer, his knee brushing against yours under the table. His eyes lingered a second longer when he locked his gaze on yours. Once, when you were laughing too hard at one of his jokes, he reached out and tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear, and the simple touch burned through your skin.

══════════════════════

“Y/n,” he said one day after class, his voice hesitant. “Do you wanna—hang out? Like, outside of school?”

You blinked, your heart slamming against your ribs. “Like—just us?”

“Yeah,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “If you want.”

Of course, you wanted. But you played it cool. “Sure,” you said, smiling. “I’m free after six.”

You ended up at the diner, sharing fries and laughing like you’ve known each other forever. The weight that had been sitting on his shoulders since the breakup seemed lighter, and you hoped, even prayed, that maybe you had something to do with that.

As he walked you to her car later, Steve hesitated. “y/n,” he started, his voice soft. “I—thanks. For everything.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

He smiled that soft, lopsided smile that made your knees weak. “I kinda do. You’ve been… really great.”

For a second, you thought maybe he’d close the distance between them. Your breath caught, your heart pounding. But then he just squeezed your hand and stepped back.

You knew—they were almost there. But almost was never enough.

But you weren’t done trying.

You found excuses to spend more time with him. Inviting him to study at your house when your parents were working late, suggesting movies you knew he’d love, brushing your fingers against his just a little longer than necessary when you passed him something. Every time he smiled at you, every time his eyes softened, you felt hope bloom.

══════════════════════

One night, you were watching a movie in your living room when Steve’s arm brushed yours on the couch. He didn’t move away.

“You ever feel like,” he said quietly, his eyes fixed on the screen, “you’re waiting for something? But you don’t know what?”

Your heart pounded. “Yeah,” she whispered. “All the time.”

He turned his head, his face inches from yours. “y/n…”

The phone rang, breaking the moment. You closed your eyes, swallowing disappointment, and reached for the receiver.

When you hung up, you found him watching you. “I should probably go,” he said softly.

“Steve—” you started, but the words stuck.

“Thanks,” he said again, his voice gentle. “For being here.”

And just like that, he was gone.

They were almost there.

But she wouldn’t stop reaching for him.

and she wouldn’t stop wishing for him to take a chance with her.

p.s: my first ever one shot! i’ll make more fics and one shots inspired by songs! hope u guys like it ^^ also, if any of you would like to be added on my general taglist, feel free to request! <3

[aothotties]

Proud of You- S. Gojo

an: qick lil something about Satoru being proud of his gf for getting into nursing school (can you tell i just got into nursing school lmfao)

application after application, essay after essay, you'd applied to all the local nursing schools and even some out of state schools hoping someone would say yes. You spent weeks constantly checking your email looking for answers. You'd jump at any notification hoping it was one of the schools. the waiting period made you so anxious you couldn't focus on anything else and you were nervous you wouldn't get in.

your boyfriend, Satoru, was more than supportive and reassured you that you're the smartest girl he knows, and he was confident you'd get in.

After what felt like years of waiting, you were in your room playing your switch to get your mind off of it. then your heard a buzz on your phone. you quickly paused the game and jumped over to where it was sitting on your bed

and there it was, an email congratulating you on your acceptance into nursing school. you couldn't believe your eyes as they welled up with tears. you screamed and ran to Satoru who looked shoked by your outburst. you showed him the email and he scooped you up in his arms and spun you around

"oh my gosh, baby, you did it! congratulations!"

he kissed you all over your face and continued to tell you how proud he was of you

"i knew you'd get in! you're so smart baby they're lucky to have you, my future nurse"

"I can't believe i actually got in, I'm so happy right now i can't stop crying"

you cried into his shoulder, and he rubbed your back until you calmed down

"Well, now we have to celebrate. wine?"

"Yes please"

he opened your favorite wine and poured you a glass. you were still so excited you drank the whole glass, and he quickly poured you another, and another.

you were starting to feel tipsy mixed with the high of your acceptance and were giggly and touchy all over Satoru.

"i can't tell you enough how proud i am of you, you're going to make an amazing nurse one day"

you felt yourself starting to cry again

"No don't cry! be happy! you did it!

he then pulled you into a passionate kiss. his tongue mixed with yours and you moaned into his mouth

"Matter fact. let me show you how proud i am"

Satoru lifted you up and carried you to the bedroom. he laid you down on the mattress and started kissing you slowly. his kissed trailed down to your neck where he started to suck on your sweet spot. you moaned end your eyes fluttered closed. he made his way down your body until he was positioned in between your legs. he pulled your shorts and panties down and licked his lips at the sight.

so beautiful"

he placed a soft kiss on your clit and you gasped. he placed another one before sticking his tongue out and lapping at your folds. you threw your head back in your hands tangled in his white locks. he was eating you like a mad man, like this was his last meal. his long slip up and down your slit and he planted kisses on your clit.

you felt yourself getting closer to your orgasm and your legs began to shake.

"s-satoru"

you could barely get his name out before your orgasm washed over you and you came on his face.

he came up, face covered in your slick and kissed you to let you taste yourself on his tongue. he took his own clothes off and positioned himself at your entrance.

he slid in slowly until he bottomed out and you both let out a gasp. he started slowly. letting you feel every curve and vein then he picked up the pace. Satoru was rocking his hips into yours and hitting your g-spot. you whined and the pleasure and he groaned on top of you. he was making you feel so good in this moment. you could feel his tip hitting your cervix and your orgasm quickly approached.

"so p-proud pf you mama"

he groaned and he continued fucking your tight hole. his dick was stretching you out and all you could see was stars. he was sliding in and out of you at a steady pace and your body was rocking back and forth. you came all over his thighs and he moaned at the added wetness. the sound of your slick was filling the room.

he lifted your legs to your chest and folded you into a mean mating press. the angle caused his to reach deeper inside you and you couldn't hold back your moans

"Toru, fuck, feels so good"

"Yeah? you like that"

all you could do was nod in response. he continued to hit your g-spot over and over and tears were running down your face. he licked up the tears and kissed you roughly as he pounded into you.

another orgasm swept over you and you came again, making another mess on his thighs. his eyes rolled back, and he let out a loud groan.

"So close baby"

after a few more rough pumps he was emptying himself inside you, filling you to the brim with his cum. he stayed there for a moment kissing you and relishing in the feeling of you still pulsing around him.

he slid out and grabbed a towel to clean you up and laid the blanket over you. he laid next to you and kissed your temple

"My future nurse"

Rachel

[user947468]

NSFW Alphabet - Arisu Ryohei

Hello! If you're from my Chishiya fic please look away, I am really deep in writers block and I thought this could be fun.. Warning this is fully explicit, if you're not into that please click off!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Very, very gentle. He's scared that he hurt you in someway, or was too rough, or you would regret it immediately after- doesn't matter if you took the initiative or not. Despite being a borderline genius- he's not that knowledgeable in after care, but he tries his best. Cleaning you and himself up after with a wet rag, tissues, toilet paper- which ever was the most convenient at the time- and making sure you feel comfortable, asking if you need anything, ect, ect.. he loves your comforting praises after more than he would like to admit.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Arisu couldn't answer that question earnestly with a gun to his head. He didn't have a favorite, couldn't physically choose one. He was obsessed with everything about you, infatuated with every inch of your being- one moment he would ogle your thighs, than your waist, your chest, your lips, your eye's- yep, he would have to take the bullet. As for him.. well, they don't call them gamer fingers for nothing. He's a bit too proud of how long he can go without getting a hand cramp.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

When Arisu was young he was freaked out by it, thought it was dirty and inhuman- even though it subsided in his late high school years and his hormones were flying through the roof it was always a thought in the back of his mind. That's why it took him by complete shock when you asked him if he wanted to cum on your face, and how fast he came after the fact. He couldn't take his eye's off you after, having to shake himself out of his mind before he got hard again.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

While not major to most- Arisu would never admit to watching as much porn as he frequently does. He's an absolute porn-freak. One websites, apps, magazines- you name it, he's seen it. Oh, and he has a thing for keeping your underwear- which he would never tell you of course, or take without your permission!

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He's not a virgin, while he doesn't have women throwing themselves at him left and right, he's not completely oblivious to the sex scene. And sure, he's watched it, and heard story's from his friends- but doing it is a whole other ball park.. its a good thing he's a fast learner. But there are still a good handful of thing he's yet to be introduced too.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Anything you want. Preferably position's he could fully watch you in, but if wanted to try something new Arisu was anything but picky. However, he does have a knack for missionary and cowgirl- he adores picking apart your reactions, how your head throws back when he fondles your breast, or when he sucks bruises into your neck and you follow up with a low moan.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Arisu always tries to make light of a situation with humor. Especially during your first few nights together; if he feels like the silences are too prolonged he'll tell a joke, or when you make a move and all he can do is let out a nervous giggle- its adorable in hindsight, although you know he hates when he reacts like a untouched-virgin.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Nicely trimmed, not too short, not too long. Before you, he would never give shaving a second glance. After all why would he need too? No one was going to see him there anyways. It was on your first date that he bashfully decided to keep himself more well groomed, for your sake.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Nervous, of course. He's overly sensitive, hyper-aware of everything going on- and you wouldn't have it any other way. He's takes his time, making sure you know how much you mean to him every step of the way- whether is be by his words, or his hands, or his tongue..

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He surprisingly has a higher sex drive than you would think. He could go one after the other after the other.. he only needs a few length breaks in between before he's back on track! His record was four in one day- which he only counted because of a stupid, and completely childish bet with Karube and Chota.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Arisu never gave thought to power play, especially being titled the submissive one- and maybe it was just you that provoked it in him-but when you first climbed on-top of him, whispering borderline pornographic praises in his ear- moving his hands where you wanted them, refusing to let him cum to early- he knew he would do anything you asked, and you knew it too.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Bedroom- preferably yours. Covered completely by you; your clothes, your perfume, your bed sheet.. he's not one to venture off, especially while still living with family. Although his guard does lower in the borderlands, he'll do it anywhere he deems safe enough for you.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Everything. Nothing. Someday's he could see you in a skimpy bathing suit and all he can think is how beautiful your eyes are or how much he adores your laugh. Other days he can get hard in an instant if you look at him a certain way- mind twirling with different images of you- you under him, on-top of him, him between your legs...

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything to hurt you is an absolute no. Blood, knifes, scratch marks- there all no-go's. He's even hesitant to use degrading nicknames. Although he wouldn't mind mild restrains or gags of some sort, on him of course. And don't even think about calling him daddy, he will gag.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He loves both! Want to give him a blowjob? His pants are already coming off. You asked him to eat you out? He's on his knee's in seconds. Although he love's you warm mouth and curious tongue- nothing beats being between your legs. Tasting you, smelling you- don't even get him started on you tightening your thighs around his head, keeping him in place while you ride out your orgasm.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) 

Most of the time Arisu likes to keep it slow and sensual, covering every conceivable inch of you in small kisses and following your shape with gentle wandering hands. Once in a while he'll get caught up in bliss, pace radical and tight grips- but he'll apologies immediately after, brushing your hair out of the way and asking if your okay- you always are.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Not his favorite, he enjoys cherishing every moment with you, every whimper and shutter of yours graved into his mind- but there not half bad in his opinion. He has morning wood but a class in fifteen minutes? If your up for it, he is too. After all he would be a fool to not take the chance up.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) 

If it's nothing too crazy, like almost sadistic, he'll try anything once if it makes you happy. Arisu has no problem stepping out of his comfort zone for you, matter of fact doing introduced him to things he would have never known he was into. Although you'll have to slowly get through his shy demeanor at first.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He's a loser-gamer with a porn addiction... yeah he's not lasting long at all! But he does really, really, try to hold off when you ask him too, after all he doesn't want to disappoint you. Either way he makes up for it by offering a second round, he'll need a second to recharge but as soon as you start leaving kisses down his neck it's go time!

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) 

Would he ever by himself? Absolutely not. Even if he wanted too, he'd be too embarrassed to go out and buy one- hell, he wouldn't even want the charge on his card. Besides a fleshlight - which was a joke gift Karube got him for his birthday, "I knew you'd love it!" he said, watching Arisu's face turn the brightest shade of red any ones every seen- Arisu's never once owned a sex toy on his own account. Until he meet you. It started off innocent enough- cheeky lingerie, strawberry lube, clit vibrators- than you turned the vibrators on him and introduced him to male sex toys.. he was sure his brain chemistry changed after the fact.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

You would say he's a tease, he would say he's making sure every inch of you doesn't go unappreciated. He really doesn't mean too, and when ever he notices you getting aggravated or huffy for more friction, he gives you a sly smile and ask's you what you want him to do to you. When said, he jumps straight into action.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) 

Arisu really tries to hold it in, truly, with all his might - but he's just naturally loud. And you would be lying if you said he wasn't good at it. Every whimper, moan, grunt, and curse could be heard from the man, none of his reactions going unnoticed. He didn't shy away from being verbal either, much to your delight.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

This man is most love-struck fool ever. And that leads to a lot of desperation on his end, especially while your away. How dare you treat him so good? Give him the most live changing orgasm than leave to your collage classes thirty minutes latter? The amount of things he's rubbed himself off too because of it was shameful; your voicemail, a small note you left him on a sticky note, the smell of your shampoo..

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) 

Arisu was an average length, 6 and a half inches long - he swear the half inch makes a huge difference - and a width of an inch and a half, lean like the rest of his body. Pale pink and a strong veins coming from his shaft, they were always the most sensitive- along with his tip of his dick.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He could do without getting off everyday. Sleeping through it or taking a cold shower if necessary, and he never beg you into anything you weren't in the mood for but it's safe to say it doesn't take long to get him in the mood.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

As much as his hormones love raging off the charts- his physical athleticism slows him down. Generally he could fall asleep anywhere, anyplace in seconds- but plus being physically and mentally tired? He's already in a deep sleep. (After after-care, of course) Good luck trying to wake him up!

[hypnobeauty]

a chance encounter - a cho hyun-ju x reader fic (part 12)

summary: a story about how you and hyun-ju met and the following years of your relationship. masterlist cw: no use of y/n, reader is afab, squid games, blood, violence, hints of transphobia and homophobia, author cannot do math. a/n: hello lovelies! this took forever and it is not as good as i hoped. writer's block has been kicking my ass for the past weeks--- haven't even replied to most comments on the last part. sorry for it! i'll catch up, i swear. as always, enjoy xx comments are always welcome, i giggle and kick my feet whenever i read them. silly pinterest board i've been curating over the weeks taglist: @strayteez3staner @dekiruxxx @jeongteen @sunnysurvives @3leni @etta-huracan @honeyhyunju @basoressia @antisocial-aina @googie-jeon @christinamadsen @deernat @vvlwvvy @psychobitchsthings @dikeu-yoiz

part 12. player 120 and player 133

the first thing you felt was disorientation.

the light was too bright, searing through your closed eyelids and pulling you from unconsciousness. the music was too loud, making your head throb, a dull, persistent ache that seemed to echo with every beat of your heart. you blinked against the brightness, your vision swimming as you tried to make sense of your surroundings.

the ceiling above you was unfamiliar—smooth white tiles with fluorescent lights that buzzed faintly. you turned your head slowly, your body sluggish, and realized you were lying on a bed. no, not just a bed—a top bunk bed.

panic began to creep in as your senses sharpened. the room was massive, far larger than any space you’d ever been in. rows upon rows of identical black metal bunk beds stretched out before you, stacked four high like a factory assembly line. the walls were tiled in white, adorned with strange decals of sports figures that gave the space an odd resemblance to a school gymnasium.

you sat up, your movements stiff, and looked down at yourself.

the green tracksuit caught you off guard. it was simple, plain, with the number 133 printed in bold white on the chest and back. beneath the jacket, a white shirt bore the same number. your feet were covered in white socks and plain white loafers.

a sinking feeling settled in your stomach as you realized your own clothes were gone.

you tugged at the waistband of the tracksuit pants, peeking underneath to find black, nondescript underwear. everything you’d been wearing—the cardigan, the jeans, the sneakers—was gone. your breath quickened and you quickly placed your hand on your neck, and sighed in relief to find hyun-ju’s locket still there. you ran your hands over your body as if searching for some other trace of familiarity. but there was nothing. no bag, no phone, no wallet.

the panic surged.

“where am i?” you whispered, your voice trembling.

your eyes darted around the room, taking in the sheer scale of it. hundreds of people were scattered among the beds, some sitting, some lying down, others pacing restlessly on the floor. they were all wearing the same green tracksuit, each with a unique number printed on it.

it felt like a nightmare, one of those dreams where nothing made sense, but the fear was real. you pressed your fingers to your temples, trying to steady your breathing, but the questions came faster than you could answer them.

how did i get here? what happened to my clothes? my phone? my life?

and then it hit you like a lightning bolt.

“hyun-ju,” you whispered, the word barely audible.

you swung your legs over the edge of the bed, climbing down the metal stairs with shaky limbs. your heart pounded as you scanned the sea of faces, your voice rising in desperation.

“hyun-ju?”

your voice echoed faintly in the cavernous space, but no one responded. your chest tightened, the panic threatening to consume you.

“hyun-ju!” you called again, louder this time.

and then, like a lifeline, you heard her voice.

“here!”

you turned sharply, your eyes locking onto her figure. she was standing a few feet away, her tracksuit identical to yours except for the number 120 printed on it. relief washed over you like a tidal wave, so overwhelming that your knees nearly buckled.

without thinking, you ran to her, throwing yourself into her arms.

hyun-ju caught you effortlessly, her strong arms wrapping around you as you clung to her like she was the only solid thing in this surreal, shifting world. her scent—warm, familiar, floral spicy, and comforting—filled your senses, grounding you in the chaos.

“hyun-ju,” you whispered against her shoulder, your voice trembling. “where are we?”

her arms tightened around you, her chin resting on your head. “i don’t know,” she said softly, her voice steady despite the uncertainty. “but we’re together in this.”

you pulled back just enough to look into her eyes, searching for reassurance. her dark gaze was calm, but you could see the flicker of unease beneath the surface.

“what happened to us?” you asked, your voice breaking. you knew she knew as much as you did, but still, it was impossible not to ask.

“i don’t know,” she repeated, her hand coming up to cup your cheek. her thumb brushed against your skin, a small, grounding gesture that sent a wave of warmth through you.

your gaze darted around the room again, taking in the countless people who looked just as confused as you felt. “they took everything,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. “our clothes, our phones… everything.”

hyun-ju nodded, her jaw tightening. “i know. but we’ll figure it out. whatever this is, we’ll figure it out.”

her confidence was like a balm, soothing the edges of your frayed nerves. you leaned into her touch, drawing strength from her presence.

“promise me,” you said, your voice trembling. “promise me we’ll stay together.”

hyun-ju’s eyes softened, and she pressed her forehead to yours. “i promise,” she said, her voice steady and resolute. “we’ll stay together. no matter what.”

in that moment, the fear didn’t disappear, but it dulled, tempered by the warmth of her arms around you. whatever this place was, whatever lay ahead, you knew one thing for certain: you weren’t alone and that was enough to keep you standing. the fear didn’t disappear, but it dulled, tempered by the warmth of hyun-ju’s arms around you. whatever this place was, whatever lay ahead, you knew one thing for certain: you weren’t alone.

you two walked back toward hyun-ju’s bed, trying to process the chaos of the situation. before you could gather your thoughts, the main door of the massive room swung open, and figures in pink suits and black masks walked in, their expressions hidden behind the stark black symbols—circle, triangle, square—displayed on their masks. the atmosphere shifted immediately, a hush falling over the room, curiosity and apprehension thick in the air. a masked figure with a square stepped forward and addressed the crowd, their voice altered by a mechanical filter.

“i would like to extend a hearty welcome to all of you. everyone here will participate in six different games over six days. those who win all six games will receive a handsome cash prize.”

murmurs broke out, people exchanging confused glances, some intrigued, others skeptical. hyun-ju was the first to speak, her voice sharp, clear. “excuse me.” heads turned in her direction. “you said we’d be playing games, but you practically kidnapped me. how can we trust anything you say?”

the square-masked figure remained unmoved. “i apologize. please understand that it was necessary to maintain the game’s security.”

another woman spoke up next, questioning the masks, asking if this was some kind of underground gambling house. the square simply replied, “we must maintain confidentiality.”

you didn’t like this at all. it felt too good to be true—who just hands out money for playing games? what kind of games? the vagueness set you on edge, your mind spinning with possible explanations. you voiced your concerns to hyun-ju in a hushed tone, but she simply squeezed your hand. “let’s listen, aein,” she murmured. you sighed, frustrated, but nodded.

around you, complaints rose. people demanded their belongings back—their phones, their wallets, their dignity. one man, player 333, grumbled about missing the crypto market.

“player 333, lee myunggi.”

a remote clicked, and a massive screen descended from the ceiling. a video flickered to life—a man getting slapped at a subway station.

“age 30, used to run a youtube channel called mg coin. after convincing subscribers to invest in a new crypto coin called dalmatian, causing losses of approximately 15.2 billion won, you shut down and disappeared. you’re wanted for fraud and for violating telecom and financial investment laws. current debt levels: 1.8 billion won.”

you gaped. “god, hyun-ju, 1.8 billion!” you whispered, grabbing her arm. suddenly your debt didn’t feel so grand now.

the videos continued. one after another, humiliating debts laid bare for all to see. then, suddenly— “player 133.”

your breath caught as your own face appeared on the screen. the moment you met the salesman at the bus stop played back for everyone to witness, the slap still stinging even through the recording. your name flashed beneath your image.

“125 million won in debt.”

a lump formed in your throat. before you could fully process it, another familiar face appeared on the screen.

“player 120, cho hyun-ju, 330 million won in debt.”

hyun-ju stiffened beside you. the video showed her outside her job, the sharp crack of the salesman’s slap echoing in the silent room. she shifted uncomfortably. without thinking, you reached for her hand and squeezed.

more videos played, and soon the shouting resumed. voices layered over one another, demands, confusion, panic growing by the second. the square-masked figure spoke again.

“all of you in this room have crippling debts and are now on a cliff edge. when we first came to you, you did not trust us either. but as you know, we played a game and gave you money as promised. and so, you trusted us and volunteered to participate according to your own free will.”

murmurs of agreement rippled through the crowd. you still felt uneasy, the uncertainty of what you’d have to do gnawed at your nerves. a sudden mechanical rumble vibrated through the room. the ceiling panels split apart, and a massive transparent piggy bank descended from above, illuminated by an eerie yellow glow.

“what you see now is the piggy bank where your valuable prize money will be stored,” the square continued. “after each of the six games you play, the prize money will accumulate in this piggy bank.”

“how much is the prize money?” someone called out.

“45.6 billion won.”

gasps. disbelief. the air vibrated with excitement, greed, desperation.

the square continued, detailing that players would have a chance to vote after each game—they could choose to continue or leave, taking home whatever money had been accumulated. you perked up at this. if you could, you’d leave now.

“are you saying we’ll still receive the money, even if we leave after the first game?” an older man asked.

“that’s correct.”

a brief surge of hope lifted in your chest. maybe it wasn’t all bad. maybe you could play one round and get out. the moment of reflection was interrupted when an old woman elbowed past you. “good heavens! excuse me, darling!”

she rushed forward and smacked a man in glasses over the head.

“you idiot!” she shouted.

“mom?! what… what are you doing here?”

they bickered, their voices rising over the crowd. you couldn’t help yourself—a laugh bubbled out of you.

“stop it,” hyun-ju murmured, nudging you, though her own lips twitched with amusement.

“sorry, it’s too ridiculous,” you giggled, leaning into her.

she rolled her eyes, but then, unexpectedly, leaned in and pressed a kiss to your lips.

the warmth of her lips lingered as you pulled back, your hand instinctively reaching for the locket around her neck, fingers brushing over its surface. “you’re wearing it,” you murmured, tracing the cool metal.

“of course,” she said simply, catching your hand in hers. “it’s you. why wouldn’t i?”

a tight knot formed in your chest. you wanted to leave. now. every part of you screamed that this was too much, too dangerous. but you knew hyun-ju—she was already thinking things through, weighing possibilities, calculating risks. and more than anything, she was thinking about the money.

the square-masked figure interrupted your thoughts. “if you wish to participate in the games, please sign the player consent form. those who do not wish to participate, please speak up now.”

you hesitated. “you’ll really pay us even if we play just one game?”

“yes.”

hyun-ju’s hand tightened around yours.

“then let’s do this,” you whispered.

*

as soon as the masked figures announced that the first game would begin shortly, players were instructed to sign a contract. hyun-ju instinctively placed you in front of her, her presence like a shield at your back. even now, she was always protecting you. you quickly scanned the lines of the contract, but the words barely registered. your heart was pounding. with a deep breath, you signed your name.

a circle-masked guard ushered you through a side door. the moment you stepped through, you hesitated, turning to look for hyun-ju. you weren’t going anywhere without her. minutes felt like hours before she finally emerged from the other side, her eyes frantically searching the room. the instant she spotted you, relief washed over her features. you hurried to her, taking her hand in yours.

“i’m here. i waited for you.”

her grip tightened. “thank you,” she murmured, squeezing back.

you fell into line again, following the flow of people as they moved through a labyrinth of pastel-colored hallways. the bright, childlike hues felt at odds with the suffocating dread curling in your stomach. up and down stairs, through arched doorways, past seemingly endless twists and turns until you reached a large room lined with photo totems.

“smile,” an automated voice instructed as you stepped up to one of the machines and you obeyed, a big smile plastered on your face.

a camera flash blinded you for a second, and you blinked against the sudden burst of light. “after having your picture taken, follow the staff’s instructions and proceed to the game site.”

you moved to the side, waiting for hyun-ju. while you stood there, a conversation nearby caught your attention. the old woman from before, player 149, was watching hyun-ju with narrowed eyes.

“is that a man or a woman?” she muttered, nudging her son, player 007. you felt your stomach drop.

“there are people like that,” her son replied quickly. “they’re men who want to be women.”

your fists clenched. a sharp, biting anger curled in your chest.

“why would they want to be women?” the woman scoffed. “men are men, and women are women.” then, her gaze slid to you, “and that girl—is she with…her? why would a pretty girl like her want to be with… someone like that?”

the words felt like a slap. shame and anger warred inside you, tangled up in a storm of helplessness. you wanted to turn around, to say something, to defend hyun-ju, but the words lodged in your throat. you could only stare, frozen, as her son sighed in exasperation and tugged her away.

“you can’t say things like that, people can love whoever they want nowadays,” he muttered, casting you a quick, apologetic glance before guiding her through the line.

the moment they were gone, your breath left you in a shaky exhale. you hadn’t realized your hands were trembling until you saw them clenched at your sides. of all places, here—where every single person had been stripped of their dignity, humiliated, and reduced to nothing more than their debts—people still found ways to discriminate, to make others feel small.

tears burned at the back of your eyes, and despite your best efforts, a few slipped free before you could blink them away. you wiped them hastily, not wanting hyun-ju to see.

when she finally finished her turn at the photo booth, she approached you with a soft smile, completely unaware of what had just transpired. the moment she was close enough, you threw your arms around her, burying your face in her shoulder, inhaling the familiar warmth of her scent.

she chuckled, hugging you back. “what is it?” she murmured, pulling back to search your face.

you shook your head quickly, pushing down everything you felt, not wanting to ruin the moment. “nothing, i… i just love you so, so much.”

her expression softened instantly. “i love you too.” pressing her forehead against yours, she whispered, “let’s do this, yes?”

you nodded, managing a tight-lipped smile. she turned, leading the way this time, and you clung to the back of her jacket as you climbed yet another flight of stairs.

at last, you stepped through a massive green gate and onto a sandy field. it was enormous, stretching farther than your eyes could follow. tall walls surrounded you, painted to resemble a serene outdoor landscape. but it wasn’t real—none of this was real. at the far end of the field stood a gigantic doll, dressed in yellow, her unblinking eyes staring blankly ahead.

“all players, please wait a moment on the field.” a woman’s voice echoed over the pa system. “let me repeat. all players, please wait a moment on the field.”

more people filed in, filling the space until there was no more room left to move. the tension in the air was palpable. hyun-ju scanned the area, eyes sharp.

“do you see anything different?” you asked quietly.

she shook her head. “not yet.”

the pa system crackled again. “the first game is red light, green light.”

murmurs rippled through the crowd. you turned to hyun-ju, eyebrows furrowing. “red light, green light? the kids’ game?”

she nodded slowly. “it seems so.”

“this is weird, hyun-ju. i don’t like it.” you tugged at her hand, voice lowering to a whisper. “let’s leave after this, yes?”

before she could respond, the voice returned. “cross the finish line without getting caught in five minutes. if you do, you pass.” a giant stopwatch clicked on above the field. 05:00. a man—one of the players who had spoken earlier—suddenly stepped forward, waving his arms. “everyone! everyone, listen up! pay attention!”

somehow, his voice cut through the crowd. heads turned.

“listen carefully! this is not just a game!”

the unease you had felt since waking up in this place sharpened into something more tangible. the man took a deep breath and shouted, “if you lose the game, you die!”

you sucked in a sharp breath, fingers tightening around hyun-ju’s. your pulse pounded in your ears, your body stiffening in fear.

you looked up at hyun-ju, eyes wide, searching for some kind of reassurance, but she was staring ahead, jaw clenched, her own fear barely concealed beneath her steady expression. a cold dread settled over you, the unknown stretched ahead like a dark abyss and you weren’t sure if either of you would make it to the other side.

*

the murmurs of confusion and disbelief around you grew. someone in the crowd let out a nervous laugh, but it was swallowed by the sharp, mechanical voice over the pa system that announced, “let the game begin”. the air seemed to shift, a collective breath held in tense anticipation.

“green light.”

the sound of the doll’s mechanical chime rang through the space, and everyone hesitated for a beat before cautiously stepping forward. some laughed, moving with ease, treating it like an actual game.

“red light.”

a sharp, mechanical whir cut through the air and then bang.

a girl fell forward with a sickening thud, unmoving. you stiffened, your breath catching in your throat. someone let out a nervous chuckle—until the gunfire continued.

one, two, three more bodies hit the ground. screaming erupted, people turned, bolting for the doors.

bang. bang. bang.

the laughter and confusion from before turned into pure terror as the exit became a slaughterhouse. player 456’s voice broke through the chaos, urgent and desperate. “don’t move! stay still! if you run, you’ll die!”

your legs shook beneath you. hyun-ju’s grip on your hand was tight—so tight it hurt—but you barely noticed. she wasn’t moving, you weren’t moving. but your whole body screamed at you to run. 

someone next to you stumbled. bang. blood splattered against your cheek and your stomach lurched, bile rising in your throat.

when it was time to move hyun-ju turned to you, her voice low but firm. “aein, listen to me.” you forced yourself to look at her.

“we have to keep moving,” she said, her voice steadier than you thought possible. “but we have to do it right. step when it says. stop when it says.”

you could barely hear her over the pounding of your own heartbeat, but you nodded. time to stop, another crack of gunfire and another body.

456 was still shouting. “we just have to move and stop at the right time! we can all make it if we stay calm!”

people started forming lines, a methodical approach to survival. before you could react, hyun-ju grabbed your shoulders and maneuvered you behind her, shielding your smaller frame with her own.

“hold onto me,” she ordered, voice softer this time. you gripped the back of her jacket, holding onto the green fabric so tightly your knuckles turned white. your fingers trembled against the material, your entire body vibrating with fear. but she was tall, broader than you—blocking most of you from view and you pressed yourself against her back, willing yourself to become smaller.

"green light."

she stepped forward, and you followed, mirroring her movements exactly.

"red light."

you froze. the trembling in your legs threatened to give you away, but you clenched your jaw and forced yourself to remain still. it was agony, every second stretched unbearably long. the fear of moving, of making even the slightest twitch, felt suffocating.

"green light."

a step. another.

"red light."

stillness.

hyun-ju’s breaths were deep and controlled. you mimicked her.

"green light."

the finish line was close. so close. you passed. relief, you both made it safely. but then 456 turned, his voice ringing across the field. “there’s still time! we can save him!”

you barely had a second to register what was happening before you felt hyun-ju’s grip on you disappear. you only watched in horror as she sprinted past the other players, past you, towards 456 and the man struggling to crawl forward.

your mind blanked.

no. no, no, no.

“hyun-ju!”

you lunged forward, instinct taking over, but before you could get far, strong arms wrapped around you, yanking you back.

“let me go!” you shrieked, thrashing violently against the hold. “hyun-ju, no! let me go! let me fucking go!”

“stop moving!” the voice belonged to player 390, the man holding you back. he was shockingly strong, his grip ironclad as he forced you still. “you’ll get yourself killed!”

tears burned down your cheeks as you struggled, watching helplessly as hyun-ju and 456 lifted the wounded player between them. the doll’s head was already beginning to turn.

“hyun-ju, please!” you sobbed, your throat raw from screaming.

the last stretch. just a few more steps.

the timer was running out.

“green light.”

one step.

“red light.”

stillness.

seconds stretched into eternity.

then—

“green light.”

they stumbled across the line.

the second the countdown ended, the arms holding you back released you. you hit the ground hard, palms scraping against the rough surface, but you didn’t care. you scrambled forward, throwing yourself at hyun-ju before she even had time to react.

you sobbed against her, gripping her tightly, feeling the frantic rise and fall of her chest as she gasped for breath. “you idiot,” you choked out between sobs, fingers digging into her arms, her back, anywhere you could hold onto her. “you stupid, reckless idiot.”

her arms wrapped around you just as fiercely. “i’m sorry,” she breathed, over and over again. “i’m so sorry.”

and then a gunshot, a wet, sickening sound.

you flinched and then you saw him. the man hyun-ju and 456 had just risked their lives to save; his body lay motionless, a bullet through his skull.

blood splattered across your cheek, your hands, hyun-ju’s face. hyun-ju’s grip on you tightened as she trembled. “no…” it had all been for nothing.

a sob wrenched itself from your throat. you didn’t care who was watching, who was judging. you buried yourself against hyun-ju, fists clutching at her shirt, at her warmth. hyun-ju held you just as tightly, one hand cradling the back of your head, the other locked around your waist. and neither of you moved or let go.

*

eventually, you had to go back.

you didn’t know how much time had passed, how long you had spent on the cold, sandy floor, curled into hyun-ju, sobbing against her as she held you just as desperately. everything outside of her warmth felt distant, blurred—like the muffled sounds of a nightmare you couldn’t wake up from.

but then, a hand landed softly on your shoulder. you flinched.

when you looked up, through the haze of tears, you saw player 456 standing there, expression heavy with exhaustion, grief, and something close to understanding. “you’re the last ones,” he said gently.

your stomach twisted as you glanced around, barely registering the bodies being cleared away in the distance, the blood that still stained the sand. there had been so many people on that field before. now, the space felt horrifyingly empty.

hyun-ju helped you stand, keeping you close as the two of you trudged back toward the sleeping quarters in the back of the line. every step felt weighted, your body sluggish, heavy with something worse than exhaustion. the sound of gunfire still echoed in your ears, like it had embedded itself into your skull. the scent of blood clung to your clothes, your skin—it was in your hair, beneath your fingernails. you wanted to scrub it off, to rip it off.

the moment you stepped inside the sleeping quarters, your legs gave out. you dropped to the floor, sitting close to one of the metal-framed beds, your back slumping against it.

hyun-ju was beside you in an instant, pulling you into her chest.

“i’m sorry,” she murmured, voice hoarse, lips brushing the crown of your head. “i love you.”

that was all she said. that was all she could say. her chin rested atop your head, arms wrapped tightly around you, grounding you in place as your body shook with silent sobs. the tears had slowed, but they kept returning in waves, stopping and starting, stopping and starting.

you couldn’t stop seeing it, that final gunshot, the way his body slumped forward, the blood—warm, wet—splattering onto you.

a presence approached. you barely registered it until a familiar voice cut through the numbness. “you gave me a fight back there,” player 390 said, amusement laced into his voice. “you’re stronger than you look, girl.”

you knew he meant well that he had held you back to save your life and he was trying to comfort you now, but you couldn’t bring yourself to react. you just stared at him with empty eyes, unable to summon even a flicker of response.

his grin faltered slightly, but he didn’t seem offended. instead, he shifted his gaze to hyun-ju, giving her a small nod. you felt her move against you, the gentle dip of her chin as she nodded back. silence stretched between the three of you, then, with one last glance, player 390 clapped a hand to his thigh and walked away, giving you space.

hyun-ju’s grip on you tightened and she pressed a lingering kiss to your temple. you closed your eyes and tried to breathe, but the air still felt thick with the metallic scent of blood, the echoes of gunfire still ringing in your ears.

*

an alarm buzzed, sharp and grating, making you flinch. the door at the front of the room slid open, and the masked figures in pink suits filed in, standing like statues as square stepped forward, his voice eerily neutral.

"congratulations on making it through the first game. here are the results."

a digital trill filled the silence before the screen behind him flickered to life.

“out of 456 players, 121 players have been eliminated. 335 players have completed the first game. congratulations again for making it through.”

the number hit you like a punch to the gut. 121 dead, just like that. simply. completely erased from existence, their bodies likely already being disposed of somewhere while the rest of you stood here, still shaking, still trying to process the horror you had just witnessed.

the silence was suffocating, only broken by a single, trembling voice.

"please…"

the older woman—player 149—fell to her knees, hands clasped together as she pleaded. "please forgive us, let us go. i don’t want to do this anymore! please!"

you wanted to laugh, to scream at her. woman, they just executed more than a hundred people in cold blood. you really think they’re going to listen to you?

then, a new voice cut through the room.

"clause three of the consent form. ‘the games may be terminated upon a majority vote.’ correct?"

you turned toward the speaker—player 456. his voice was steady, but his eyes were desperate. square nodded. "that is correct."

"then let us take a vote right now."

your heart pounded at those words. relief, a way out. square tilted his head slightly, as if amused. "of course. we respect your right to freedom of choice."

you let out a shaky breath, turning to hyun-ju beside you. "finally, we can leave," you whispered. "this nightmare is over."

she nodded, her grip tightening on your hand, and together you stood.

"but first," square’s voice interrupted, "let me announce the prize amount that’s been accumulated."

a low, mechanical rumble came from above. the ceiling panels shifted, and suddenly, the enormous transparent piggy bank descended, hanging ominously over your heads. “the number of players eliminated in the first game is 121. therefore, a total of 12.1 billion won has been accumulated. if you quit the games now, the 335 of you can equally divide the 12.1 billion won and leave with your share.”

murmurs rippled through the crowd. someone spoke up. "how much is that?"

square didn’t miss a beat. "each person’s share would be 35,820,895 million won."

discontent immediately spread through the room.

"fuck. we almost died, and they’re giving us 35 million? that’s fucking bullshit."

"thirty million? you said 45.6 billion!"

you couldn’t believe it. they almost died, and they’re complaining? you wanted to grab them by the shoulders and shake them, just take the fucking money and go.

square remained unbothered. "the rule is that a hundred million won will be accumulated for each eliminated player. if you choose to play the next game and more players get eliminated, the prize amount will increase accordingly."

no. no, no, no, no. no more games. you turned to hyun-ju, your heart hammering. pleading with your eyes. let’s leave, let’s get the fuck out. as if she could fix this, as if she could make it all go away.

but her expression wasn’t what you expected because she didn’t look scared, she didn’t even look phased. she looked… calm.

her grip on your hand had loosened, her gaze distant, lost in thought. it was the look she got when she was calculating, when her mind was whirring with possibilities, weighing outcomes, considering things too carefully.

"hyun-ju," you called her name, voice soft but urgent. she blinked, as if snapping out of a trance, and finally met your eyes. the hold on your hand tightened again.

square continued. "now, let’s begin the vote. if you wish to continue the games, press the o button. if you wish to end them, press the x button. the vote will be held in reverse order of your player numbers. once you finish voting, put the patch you are given on the right side of your chest and stand on the side you have chosen."

you turned back to hyun-ju, gripping her arm. "this is it. this is our chance. we’ll vote x and leave. i’m sure everyone else will do the same, right?"

she smiled at you. a small, unreadable smile. "of course." you wanted to believe her.

the first person to vote was player 456. he pressed x and hope blossomed in your chest, but then the next person pressed o. and then another. and another. your heart sank as the balance tipped, people choosing to stay.

then, your number was called. "player 133."

you turned to hyun-ju, giving her a quick peck before stepping forward. you didn’t hesitate. you pressed the red x with firm finality, placing the patch on your jacket. a few more people voted. then—

"player 120."

you watched as hyun-ju walked toward the stand. you were smiling, already anticipating her pressing x. but her hand hesitated, and then she pressed o, placing the blue patch onto her jacket.

she turned her head, her eyes meeting yours and the smile fell from your face. your body went rigid as ice shot through your veins.

disbelief.

betrayal.

your knees nearly buckled, but a hand caught your arm, keeping you upright. player 007. you barely registered his face as you swallowed thickly, watching as hyun-ju calmly walked to the right side of the room.

your hyun-ju.

the person who had held you through your worst moments. the person who had whispered promises into your skin, swearing you’d always have each other. and she had just chosen to stay.

your vision blurred, hot tears spilling over your cheeks. you didn’t even try to stop them—hyun-ju had made her choice. and now, you didn’t know what that meant for the both of you.

*

the moment the final vote was cast, the room fell into a suffocating silence. the glowing red and blue lights illuminated the numbers above, sealing your fate. o had won—by one vote.

a wave of nausea rolled through you. one vote. one person had tipped the scales in favor of staying in this nightmare. it could’ve been anyone, but the only one that mattered was hyun-ju.

your legs felt unsteady as you turned away from the screen, barely registering the murmurs rippling through the crowd. without a word, you started walking back toward your bunk, climbing the stairs with heavy, mechanical movements. you didn’t want to think, didn’t want to feel, didn’t want to look at her.

but hyun-ju caught up to you quickly. she called your name softly, reaching for you. "please, just—"

"not now," you snapped, your voice shaking with restraint. "i need to be alone."

she hesitated before asking, "can i at least sit with you?"

you scoffed, finally turning to face her. the hurt in her eyes almost made you falter, but your anger and fear kept you steady. "do whatever you want, hyun-ju. it’s clear you’re doing that already."

her head dropped slightly, and she followed behind you like a lost puppy as you climbed into your bed. you curled up, hugging your knees to your chest, trying to breathe through the storm in your chest. hyun-ju sat at the edge of the mattress, her hands wringing together, a nervous tic you knew all too well.

"talk to me," she murmured. she was nervous. 

good. she should be.

you turned your head, glaring at her. "talk to you? what is there to talk about, hyun-ju? we almost died. we will die if we stay. and you—" you let out a humorless laugh, shaking your head. "you voted to stay."

“i know you’re mad—”

“mad?” you let out a hollow laugh, finally looking at her. “mad doesn’t even cover it, hyun-ju. i’m furious. i’m terrified. i’m—” you cut yourself off, squeezing your eyes shut for a second before opening them again. “how could you do this? how could you vote to stay? we almost died today—more than once! i thought we were leaving. i thought we agreed.”

she nodded, exhaling through her nose. “i know. i know it’s fucked up. but listen to me—”

“listen to you?” you laughed again, harsher this time. “hyun-ju, we were this close—” you held your fingers barely apart. “to getting out of here! to walking away with our lives! and you—” you inhaled sharply, gripping your knees tighter. “you threw that away.”

she inhaled deeply, steadying herself. “i didn’t vote to stay because i want to die. i voted to stay because this might be our only chance to finally be free.”

your brows furrowed. “what are you even saying?”

she ran a hand through her hair, exhaling in frustration. “the money. the debts. everything hanging over our heads.” her voice was lower now, strained. “i hate it. i hate watching you stress over every bill. i hate counting every won, living paycheck to paycheck, wondering if we’ll ever catch a break. this… this is a way out.”

you shook your head, incredulous. “at what cost? hyun-ju, people died. hundreds of people.”

she flinched. “i know.”

you swallowed, trying to steady your own breath. “this isn’t the answer.”

hyun-ju met your gaze then, her expression unreadable. “if we do the math,” she said slowly, carefully, “we’d only need to play one more game.”

your stomach twisted. “no,” you said immediately. she reached for your hand, but you pulled back.

“hyun-ju, no,” you repeated, voice firmer now. “this isn’t some calculated risk. this is life or death. and you—you’re talking like it’s just a numbers game.”

“i know it’s not.” her voice wavered. “i know, okay? but this money could change everything for us. just one more game. one.”

"oh, you’re sure it’ll be just one?" you scoffed. "hyun-ju, we don’t know what’s coming next! we barely made it past this one! you almost died going back for that guy! what if next time you don’t make it?"

she opened her mouth, then closed it. her throat bobbed as she swallowed hard. "i know," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "i know it’s dangerous. and i hate that i put you through this. but if we make it through one more, we can leave with enough to never have to worry again. no loan sharks. no scraping by. just us, safe, with a future."

you let out a shaky breath, rubbing your temples. "i can’t do this, hyun-ju. i can’t sit here and pretend i’m okay with this."

she reached for your hand, hesitated, then pulled back. "i don’t expect you to be."

the pa system crackled. "lights will be turned off in five minutes."

hyun-ju exhaled and stood up, preparing to descend the stairs. but something in you lurched at the sight of her leaving. without thinking, you grabbed her jacket sleeve, your fingers trembling.

"don’t you think that just because i’m mad at you, you’re allowed to sleep away from me."

hyun-ju turned to you, surprised, then her expression softened. "i’ll grab my pillow."

the moment the lights went out, the two of you had settled into the small bunk. it was tight, even more so now that you weren’t curled up in opposite directions. hyun-ju faced you under the cover, her breath warm against your face.

for a while, neither of you spoke. the room buzzed with the soft murmurs of others, the occasional sniffle or stifled sob from a distant bunk. your hand twitched against the mattress, and then hyun-ju’s fingers brushed against yours. she whispered your name, almost tentatively.

you swallowed, feeling the anger still simmering inside you, but it was no match for the sheer exhaustion weighing down your body. "i don’t forgive you," you murmured.

"i know."

"but i love you."

a shaky breath. "i love you too."

she pressed her forehead to yours, her hand resting gently over your waist. "we’ll figure it out."

you sighed, letting your body melt into hers despite everything. "we have to."

in the darkness, with only the sound of her breathing keeping you grounded, you pressed a slow, tired kiss to her lips. it tasted like salt and regret, like a silent promise neither of you could yet fulfill.

but for now, it was enough.

[han-binary]

genre : silly drabble ! fluff and implied smut :) mentions of drinking, fingering, female!reader x lee minho, making out, unprotected sex, foreplay, being walked in on.

summary : after a horrible day, you seek nothing but the comfort of your lover.

a/n : this is a birthday gift for one of my most cherished friends, happy birthday sweet girl <3 love u to bits!

after a crappy day, your birthday no less, you wanted nothing but to curl up into a ball in the arms of your lover - minho. it would be sweet to say you were high school lovers, destined to be with each other, but it simply wasnt that easy. hell, in the beginning you didnt even like minho, he was your college rival. you loathed each other, though of course that simply covered your true feelings for each other.

as if the universe was laughing at you, a car drives by and splashes you with a huge puddle the second you step foot off of the bus, leaving you drenched and cold. you were barely inches from your door as you bust into tears, the key not fitting in the lock was the final thing to set you off.

minho, being the big softie he was, could immediately hear your sniffles and whimpers and he rushes over to let you in, wrapping you in his arms and not caring that he would be getting drenched as well.

"oh... my sweet girl, did you have a tough day?" he guides you in, running a warm shower nearly immediately and pouring a glass of your favorite wine as you stepped in.

your silent sniffles are all he needed as an answer.

finally, after a warm shower, some snuggles and much needed supper, minho could coerce you out to his big surprise he had for you. a surprise outing at a local club, where all your friends would gather to celebrate you.

"oh.. wow, y/n." he breathes out, licking his lips once he saw you. "you.. you look absolutely stunning." he steps closer to smooth your pretty outfit out, softly pecking your lips before pulling back to admire you. "how am i gonna keep my hands off of you?" he murmurs, arm looping your waist as he guides you in, all of your friends spotting you and cheering happily. minho swore he could memorize the way your eyes lit up - and how happy you looked after a truly terrible day.

and of course, being a touchy lover, and even more so, a touchy tipsy lover, minhos hands were all over you. they roamed anything they could touch, your hips, your waist, your butt. they grabbed anything they could - pulling you as close as he could on the dance floor and locking your lips together as you looped your arms around his neck.

"Y/n, you look so good.. i cant stop staring." he murmurs against your lips, chuckling heartily as he sees your face flush up.

the boy starts to kiss down your neck, lightly kissing your sweet spot and then a bit further down to your exposed collar bone and chest, and when you pull him back he looks at you with lovestruck, sparkly eyes, and perfect swollen lips.

he cant help but giggle as you drag him to the bathroom, the two of you forgetting to lock the door as he quickly hoists you up onto the counter. the chased kisses, hushed moans, it was all perfect.

minho gently bunches your dress up to your hips, kissing you softly as he gently rubs over your pretty panties, cooing as your face contorts into one of pleasure as his thumb gently grinds against your clit. "feel good, baby?" he asks sweetly, gently pressing your lips together again as he continues to rub his thumb in circles.

at your pleading, he tugs the fabric aside, and rubs his cock through your slick folds, the two of your were hot messes, half clothed, hair messy and your lipstick was smudged on both of you as he finally eases into you, the soft squelching filling up the room as he starts to pick up a rhythmic thrust, watching each time as his cock disappears inside your pretty pussy.

the boy dips his head down to kiss at your neck, sucking soft marks into your pretty skin as he thrusts hard, groaning each time you clench around his cock. "fuck, pretty.." he rasps softly

and with each time you clenched, he could tell you were getting closer and closer - and of course he was too, about to ask if you wanted him to pull out when he hears the door fling open - your good friend hyunjin coming inside to use the bathroom but instead staring at you as you moaned minho's name loudly, clearly in the midst of your orgasm.

it was something all three of you could laugh about someday, but when you left the bathroom it was red faces and an awkward interaction.

[impossiblepluto]

Am I surprised that season 2 hair won again? Not after last time, no. But variations of scruffier Mac get the gerrymander treatment and split the vote whereas folks who enjoy a cleaner cut Mac really only have one option to vote for.

I am firmly in the longer haired, less put together Mac camp

And because it's my poll I'm going to share all my opinions. But also feel free to share yours if you want.

Unaired pilot hair. While I do often like longer hair on dudes, the hair from the unaired pilot, when it's just hanging long and down is not my favorite look. The little clip we get when he's got it tied back is A+ and I enjoy that look very much. While I wouldn't want a whole season with this look I really appreciate that it exists. I kind of headcanon that this is how high school senior and MIT Mac wears his hair. James would have hated it.

First half of season 1/The Rising hair. My favorite of the canon Mac hair. There's just something about it. Maybe it's because this was the first hair we saw so it's just cemented in my head but this is what I think of when I think about Mac. At Lake Como his hair looked really shiny and healthy but in some of the other early season one episodes it looked a little more brittle. I like to pretend that his reflected his still healing status after getting shot in The Rising.

Shorter style, second half of season one look. It's a bit tidier than the first half of season 1. He got a trim. I like it and it falls in line with my Mac-hair headcanon that I will finish writing one day. Updated yesterday

Season 2 hair. This style won the poll last time and I was shocked. I thought liking longer-haired Mac was a universal experience. It's not a bad look by any means, I don't think he's capable of having a bad look, but I like his hair when it's longer. It also fits my Mac-hair headcanon. Mac keeps his hair shorter and neater when he's seeking James' approval.

It would have been so funny if the mistake beard went another poll with no votes. There's no way baby faced Mac is growing a beard that full in 3 months, but I like it as a symbolic middle finger to James. Mac doesn't need or want his approval anymore so he grows his hair out and a thick beard to match. My only regret is that no one from the team got to tease him about it.

Fluffy season 3 hair. Probably my second favorite of the canon Mac hair. It's fluffy and fully of sunshine and he keeps it long as a way to rebel.

season 4- least favorite. It just looks off to me. Like they were trying hard to hide a bad hair cut. Oh wait, they were. Or not bad just dated. Season 4's hair was the result of the hair cut from Son of the South.

season 5- ok this might be my second favorite. It's hard to tell and I shouldn't hold the bad episodes of season 5 against the haircut. I like it because it falls over his forehead more. Its a little messier. I like Mac to look a little messier

Favorite hair by a mile. We had to suffer through a stupid quarantine episode and they couldn't even give us the satisfaction of quarantine hair while watching it? Unacceptable. I demand a refund. I'd like to speak to a manager

Feral Mac in a bandana- love. It's got the beanie vibes but you can still see his hair. Chef's kiss

Brunette Mac- I think it's a cute look and it makes me think of like "evil twin" Mac. Like when old shows would have an evil sibling show up, played by the same actor wearing a dark wig so you know they were the bad guy.

Beanie Mac- I like it. At the time it aired it gave me a lot of thoughts about Mac wearing a headband in the lab to keep his hair contained. And then I got feral bandana Mac

Alright friends, two years ago we did a fun, silly little "Favorite Mac Hair" poll. But we have some new friends that have joined us and @ariminiria mentioned wanting a chance to vote. Polls can have 12 options now, so that's fun and I remember with great regret leaving off beanie Mac from the original.

[theamarischapter]

He’s Not My Boyfriend!

CHAPTER 05; friends (?)

new here? chapter 1 - previous: chapter 4

pairing: beomgyu x f!reader

w/c: 3.3k

genre: strangers to frenemies to lovers, high school au, slow burn…ish (?), fake dating (for a day) - FINALLY HERE!

warnings: none!

summary: a friendship blooms, but buried feelings crawl their way back to the surface. a harmless april fools prank turns out to be…not so harmless. your “indifference” is killing him.

fic below the cut! enjoy <3

You’ve discovered that Beomgyu is just as much of a nerd as Kai and Soobin. They play the same games and watch the same shows and gush over the same celebrities. You’ve gotten used to listening to him and Soobin argue over whatever game it is that they stay up until 2 AM playing. They’re always, undoubtedly, the loudest at your lunch table. Since the recent alliance, your friend groups have sorta merged. Which (of course) means that the teasing is annoying as ever, but at this point, it’s all white noise. Now, it’s Beomgyu who manages to be the biggest annoyance in your life—in an endearing way. You almost miss the time when he was the shy, quiet boy your friends shipped you with. Almost. 

Jumbled conversation echoes through the cafeteria, overlapping the clatter of trays. Students crowd together around small tables, gossiping and laughing, while others keep to themselves. You sit beside Beomgyu, who, as per usual, has made it his mission to annoy you. He keeps poking your side. Each time, you flinch a little, swatting his hand away. 

“Cut it out!” You yelp, suppressing small laughs. You find yourself amused despite the feigned annoyance. Beomgyu puts his hands up defensively, looking off to the side with a small smirk.

“What? I barely did anything,” he defends. His gaze returns to you, meeting your unimpressed expression. The corners of his lips pull into a guilty, upside-down smile. He always acts so innocent. 

“Beomgyu.” You retort, tone unamused. You shake your head, rolling your eyes. His arms fall back to his side, a laugh escaping his lips. His joy, even when at your expense, is contagious—you have to suppress a smile. 

“It’s funny, though…” He mumbles, looking away again. You raise an eyebrow at him, whipping your head from side to side as you look around the circular table—your friends are beside you, to the left, and his are next to him on the right. They’re all taking inconspicuous glances at you, not yet acknowledging the playful exchange happening. 

“Really? ‘cause I don’t see anyone laughing,” you retort, glancing around again as if to make a point. He narrows his eyes at you, head tilting to the side. 

“You were. Like five seconds ago,” he replies. His voice is flat, expression blank. You scoff, crossing your arms. That’s not fair, and he knows it. 

“That doesn’t count. I’m ticklish,” you reply, shrugging. He hums in thought, shaking his head and nudging you with his elbow. 

“You think it’s hilarious too,” he argues. “Just admit it.”

“Shut up,” you grumble. Sure, it’s a little funny, but not when he does it five million times! Besides, he only thinks it’s funny because of the way you react. For you, it’s just embarrassing—especially considering how his touch makes your heart flutter. 

“You didn’t deny it,” he teases, leaning a little closer. Your heart skips a beat, an uncomfortable feeling bubbling in your chest. You lean away, unable to make eye contact.

“You’re so annoying.” You mutter, shaking your head. You glance up, eyes meeting Chaewon’s. She has a small grin, eyes gleaming with amusement at your spectacle—and something else. Something that makes you shift nervously in your seat. “What?” You raise an eyebrow at her. She hums in delight, leaning her elbows on the table. 

“You two are so cute!” She gushes. Before you can even begin to think of a retort, the rest of your friends are ganging up on you. 

“You should just date already,” Yunjin teases, her dark eyes glistening with mischief. 

“They probably are—they’re just too embarrassed to admit it,” Kai adds on, nudging Soobin to join in. Soobin hums in thought, smiling evilly. He opens his phone, showing off a blurry picture—you and Beomgyu, side by side, smiling together in a crowded hallway. 

“I saw them walking together the other day,” Soobin explains, causing the table to erupt in gasps. Seriously, what era is this? You didn’t know being near a guy was so scandalous nowadays. Why does he even have that picture?

“You guys are so annoying. God forbid a girl and a guy be friends!” You retort, scoffing as you roll your eyes. You’re too preoccupied arguing to notice the odd expression on Beomgyu’s face. 

His hands are on the table, fidgeting with the hem of his sleeve. He shifts uncomfortably, his gaze fixated on everything but you. His throat feels tight, lungs small as he attempts to breathe. Why can’t he just be normal? His heart jumps every time someone mentions how cute you’d be together or how he’s basically your boyfriend. He doesn’t understand. He buried those feelings when he buried the old version of himself. That’s not him anymore. He doesn’t like you, he can’t like you. So, why does he feel this way now? It’s like a hurricane ripping through all of the flimsy defenses he’s held up thus far. He’s going insane, meanwhile, you sit there calmly denouncing even the idea of being with him. Which feels great, by the way.

“Beomgyu’s totally blushing,” Kai points out. Everyone’s gaze is suddenly on him, including yours. Yours. Oh god, what’s happening? He can’t breathe. His heart is suddenly beating out of his chest. This isn’t happening. Control yourself, Beomgyu. He scoffs, but it sounds more like a cough. 

“Am not,” he mutters, but the shake in his voice isn’t helping his case much. Soobin laughs, eyes wide with amusement as he gasps. 

“You’re totally in love.” He teases, which only causes Beomgyu’s face to get warmer. In love? Never. Never in a million years. You grimace, taking control of the situation before it gets out of hand.

“Ugh, you guys are so stupid,” you scoff. Luckily, the bell reverberates through the crowded space, ending the conversation with ease. You part ways, heading to class with your friends. Beomgyu can’t help but watch as you disappear into the crowd. 

Was the idea really so stupid? Was it so unbelievable that he might like you? Or maybe it’s the other way around. Of course, nothing has changed since middle school. You’re still way out of his league. It makes sense that the idea of anything more than friends is a joke to you. It’s a joke to him, too. Totally. It’s hilarious!

He just needs to get himself together. Those feelings are only coming back because he’s around you again. It’s just nostalgia. Just a bad habit that he never got to break. He doesn’t like you! It’s just…the idea of everything. The idea of having a girlfriend. That’s why he always gets so flustered when your friends tease. It’s not because of you, right? It can’t be—that would be breaking his promise to himself. 

— °˖✧✿✧˖° —

Yeah, no. Something must be seriously wrong with him. How did his brain go from being completely normal to being a jumbled, confusing mess in seconds? He knows how, but he searches for a different answer nonetheless. He repeats to himself over and over that he likes Yeji, even if they haven’t talked in a while. He likes her, not you. Things are just getting mixed up. Any normal person would get flustered in this situation. Well, except for you. You never react. But that’s different! You’re just freakishly calm—underreacting, if you ask him. His reaction to the teasing is totally normal. So, no, he doesn’t like you. And, even if he did, he can’t allow the same thing to happen a second time. Not when he worked so hard to become your friend. 

Why did he do that, anyway? No, no, no—don’t even go there, Choi Beomgyu. It’s normal to want to be someone’s friend! He feels sick to his stomach.

The next time he sees you, he feels himself spiraling. Your eyelashes are long and pretty, fluttering every time you blink. Your silky hair frames your delicate features. His eyes linger on your plush lips a little too long, then the pretty pink hue of your smooth cheeks. This is unfair. He worked so hard to move on, to accept that he couldn’t have you. He accepted that it was all in the past. He didn't have a chance, and that was okay! 

Then again, that was before everything. Before he was someone in your life, before you started calling him Gyu in that sweet, familiar tone. Maybe he can indulge his feelings this time. He’s a better person now. You’re friends already. What's the harm? The feelings are going to eat away at him anyway. It’s better he just acknowledges the facts—he likes you, and no amount of denial will stop it. 

That said, your indifference might. You deny everything so casually. He’ll subtly lean closer or brush fingers with you, and you don’t react. In fact, you look at him like he’s crazy. It’s making him remember exactly why he wanted to avoid catching feelings again. You don’t like him. 

At least, in his perspective, you don’t. But he can’t read your mind. He doesn’t know that your heart jumps whenever he touches you. He doesn’t see the way you scramble to steel your expression whenever he gets a little too close. He’s too in his head to notice the way your voice trembles whenever you tell him to knock it off. It’s not that you don’t like him. He’s just conditioned himself to interpret everything you do as friendly, or as his stupid heart playing tricks on him. You’re blushing because you’re uncomfortable, not flustered. You’d never be flustered because of him.

— °˖✧✿✧˖° —

The end of March is fast approaching, which also means April 1st is coming up—April Fool’s Day. Beomgyu has the perfect idea for a silly little prank. Something totally innocent and unrelated to the all-consuming feelings currently overwhelming his heart. He sighs, sprawled across his unmade bed sheets as he stares at your contact. His heart beats a little quicker at the notion of messaging you, but he manages to settle on a simple message. 

gyu 🧸: hi i have an idea

You respond quickly, almost too quickly. His heart jumps when he sees the three little dots flickering. 

you: what is it gyu 🧸: a prank for april fools you: omg yes

Well, that was easy. Then again, you’re probably only agreeing because you think it’s something typical. You know, stuff besides pretending to date your friend.

gyu 🧸: i didnt even tell u what the idea is yet you: okay so tell me 🙄 gyu 🧸: well since we get shipped i thought it’d be funny if we pretended to date

There’s no immediate response this time. His heart drops, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip. A minute passes, then two, and then his hands are trembling over the keyboard as he panics to type out something to redeem himself. You must think he’s crazy and weird. Of course, that was dumb. It’s a dumb idea, and you wouldn’t—his phone buzzes.

you: omg wait that’s hilarious 😭 they’re gonna freak out 💀 im in gyu 🧸: okay

He blinks, shakily putting his phone down. You actually agreed. He rereads the message just to ensure that he read it right. You’re in. You think it’s hilarious. Maybe he wishes you didn’t find it funny, though. This is definitely a horrible idea. He’s asking to get hurt—but whatever! He gets to call you his for a day, even if it’s pretend. He gets to be close in the way he’s yearned to for years (technically). He feels knots forming in his stomach just thinking about it…

— °˖✧✿✧˖° —

You’ve spent days preparing to successfully carry out this prank with Beomgyu. It’s no fun if it’s obvious you’re messing with them, so the build-up is important. You started resisting the teasing less, sitting a little closer, wearing matching bracelets—you even posted a faceless picture of him on your close friends. You’re seriously dedicated to this…Beomgyu might actually combust. He knows it’s pretend, but that doesn’t stop his poor heart from pounding wildly. When the day finally comes, he’s grateful that you think his flustered expression is just spectacular acting. 

How else was he supposed to react when you suddenly grabbed his hand? His fingers twitch in your grasp, and for a split second, he wonders if you can feel his pulse racing through his palm.

Chaewon is the first to see you two entering school hand-in-hand; usually, you meet her in the morning since you have first period together. She gasps loudly, hands flying over her lips as if she’s just witnessed the biggest plot twist of the year. It’s honestly endearing how happy she looks for you. Her eyes sparkle with excitement as she hurries over, practically skipping. She says your name in disbelief, eyes darting between you both, then down to your interlocked hands. 

“Is this what I think it is?” She squeals when you nod and pull Beomgyu a little closer without warning. Oh, he is not going to survive today. His heart does backflips, his eyes trained on you. You’re calm as ever—at least, on the surface

“Surprise.” You laugh, letting out a shaky breath. Your heart is beating unreasonably fast. You remind yourself that this is all a prank. He has Yeji—at least, he did last you checked. Then again, he’s here pretending to be your boyfriend. Sure, it technically means nothing, but it’s still a little odd. If they were really in any sort of relationship—be it a talking stage or more—would he be playing this game with you? The thought lingers, unsettling and unspoken.

“I knew it,” Chaewon says, smiling proudly. “All along. You two are so obvious.” 

“Shut up,” you grumble, rolling your eyes. Obvious? Well, of course, she’s only talking about the past week. You aren’t obvious about anything because you don’t actually like him. 

The rest of your friends react in a similar manner. Yunjin finds out through Chaewon and promptly blows up your phone in the middle of class. She catches you during passing period and is gushing, making way too much noise considering how early it is. Soobin and Kai see him walking you to third period and are immediately on your case. 

“Wait—isn’t it April Fools, though?” Soobin asks. He narrows his eyes, eyeing you suspiciously. 

"Yeah, so what?" Beomgyu shoots back, a little too quickly. A little too defensively.

“I don’t believe it,” Soobin replies, shrugging. 

“Well, no one’s begging you to. She’s my girlfriend,” he retorts. Your heart flutters at his declaration. It almost feels real for a second, like he’s really claiming you. You smile, clinging to his arm casually. 

“Couple goals,” Kai teases, laughing. Beomgyu smiles wider than he should, shaking his head. The warning bell urges you to hurry up, so you part ways with Soobin and Kai. As you enter the class, you catch his gaze lingering—like he’s waiting for something. You look away without a word, quietly taking your seat. 

— °˖✧✿✧˖° —

Lunchtime comes around quickly, but today, your friends have decided to eat outside. The sun hangs high, fluffy clouds drifting through the sky. A slow breeze contrasts the warmth of the sun, rustling the trees. Ironically, it’s you and Beomgyu who are the first to show up at the table. He’s beside you, his shoulder brushing yours—he’s close. Too close, considering your friends aren’t here yet. There’s no reason to pretend. Your heart stutters when he quietly, mindlessly reaches an arm around you—for a moment, you think maybe one of your friends is approaching, but they’re not. His head turns toward you, eyes narrowed as if he’s searching for something in your expression. Why is he staring so hard? You clear your throat and return to scrolling on social media. This is fine. You have no problem being close to him, he’s your friend. He calls your name, the sound so gentle it makes your heart stop.

“Hm?” You look up, putting your phone down. You wonder if he can hear just how fast your heart is beating. You hate it. You wish he’d stop playing with your heart like this. 

He’s not quite sure what he’s thinking, honestly. Maybe he spent too much time in class fantasizing about being your real boyfriend—feeling your soft lips against his, getting to hold you whenever. You’ve done a good job being his fake girlfriend. Perhaps that’s why he forgets about everything. He forgets that you don’t like him, that you’re out of his league. 

You’re still close, and there’s a glimmer of something in your eyes as they connect with his. It’s electric, sparking something new within him. Within you, too. Your body moves on its own, leaning into his touch. He figures it’s okay. A pretend kiss for his pretend girlfriend—just this once. His fingers flex at his side, his shaky breaths brushing across your face. He knows he shouldn’t, knows he’ll regret it, but you’re looking at him like that, with wide, glimmering eyes and already parted lips. Suddenly, it’s impossible to stop himself. His eyelashes flutter as he glances down at your inviting lips, the scent of your sweet perfume drifting in the breeze. Time seems to stretch, each second feeling like hours. Your fingers twitch at your sides, itching to pull him a little closer. He almost feels like he’s dreaming. 

And then, you’re pulling away. You gently tug out of his embrace, but the hesitation is there—a weird look in your eyes. Hurt, maybe. His warmth lingers on your skin. Your lips part like you might say something, but nothing comes out. Instead, you laugh. To him, it sounds uncomfortable, but you know just how pained it sounds. You almost let that happen. You almost forgot what day it was. April Fool’s. 

“Gyu, that’s not funny.” You mumble, averting your gaze. You almost lost control. You almost let your heart slip out of your careful grasp. Shame burns in his throat, his chest tightening as humiliation washes over him. He wants to disappear. He knew none of this would end well, but he went through with it anyway. And now it’s too late to take things back—if only he would’ve just taken a second longer to actually think. It’s almost painful how much you obviously don’t like him. You think he’s a joke. 

It’s obvious—but only when ignoring a few key details. Namely, the fact that you did lean in, for just a moment, before realizing what was happening. Of course, it must’ve been some weird prank he was trying to pull on you, and you almost fell for it. You refuse to be humiliated today. You don’t need—or want—to hear him laugh in your face and remind you that it’s pretend. More importantly, you don’t need anything to fuel the feelings brewing in your chest. You know just how bad one kiss could ruin things. It’d be impossible to stay in denial any longer. 

“Sorry,” he murmurs, looking away. You’ve given him an easy out, even if the words sound stiff on his tongue. “I just wanted to see what you’d do.” 

You manage a laugh, gently smacking his shoulder. He hates how you can just play it off, how you can act so normal as if it was all nothing. He thinks, maybe, it was—to you, at least. He’s a complete moron—he’s probably just ruined the rest of the entire day. “You’re so annoying,” you whine, masking the ache in your heart with a smile. 

He rolls his eyes, laughing as well. Though his laugh is a lot softer, tinged with melancholy as he looks away. Would it be stupid to cry over something so trivial? Probably. He’s not going to, anyway. Not in front of you, at least. 

Maybe it’s about time to stop the prank. 

taglist: @whatblop, @innies-goth-gf, @woncheecks, @ewsnup <3

a/n: yayyy! these two can never just be chill i guess. like...they always gotta have something going on. anyways, i hope you enjoyed this chapter!!! only 2 - 3 chapters left omg. as always, ty for ur support and patience! likes, comments, and reblogs greatly appreciated! (≧∇≦)ﾉ <3

— °˖✧✿✧˖° —

upcoming: chapter 6 - things manage to get worse when you run into...choi yeonjun. beomgyu decides that he needs a bit of space to sort his feelings out. he just needs time.

[wilmonsfolklore]

Wilmon fic recs!

my health has been shit lately but at least it's given me the time to read a lot of fics, so I thought I'd rec a few!! of course this is a non-exhaustive list and there is so much other beautiful fic out there. also remember to leave comments and kudos if you enjoy any of these!!

here's some of my favourite WIP's that im obsessed with and that brighten my days with their updates <3

like we've never touched before by nonalovesyou - Post season 1 angst in 2025? I'm so happy it exists. Simon gets assigned to tutor Wille in math and they (in a S2 way) awkwardly, inevitably, try to reconnect. Simon's characterisation is incredible, the angst hurts in the best way, and I'm so excited to see it continue.

Hope And Legacy by @malinowaj - Simon and Wille are both pro figure skaters and Simon gets forced to coach Wille by Kristina. Sports AU's have a special place in my heart and this one is just perfect. The way their relationship slowly and organically develops feels so realistic and is incredibly heartwarming. And it's actually gotten me more interested in figure skating, which is fun!!

Even If It's Just Us by queerfrogprince - Wille and Simon reconnect after years to travel Europe together. Wille is grieving, it's messy, it's painful, it hurts, it doesn't shy away from difficult yet important conversations. It's also comforting in a way their relationship kind of inherently is and their natural connection and pull towards each other is so well described. And also, they feel so grounded in every place they visit. I drop everything every time an update comes out.

Change My Mind by @iwouldnevergetintofanfic - Wille comes to Hillerska two years later, Felice wants to date him, and is best friends with Simon. I love Simon and Felice's dynamic in this, and the way Wille keeps subverting Simon's expectations never gets old to me. And Simon finding more of a place at Hillerska is really interesting and fun to read about, it feels really grounded and has those true high school experience-vibes to me. Really excited to see how this one will play out!

come closer and see into the dark by @bigalockwood - Simon and Wille are ghosthunters who work together and care a little bit too much for each other to be professional. There's angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, tension, everything you could ever want. The way their personalities got so perfectly influenced by the world they're in is impeccable and I could talk about it for hours. A masterpiece.

land between our bodies by @phneltwrites - Wille and Simon don't get back together at the end of S3, instead they start to fake date. But this is so, so, much more than that. It explores Simon's character in a way that has made me actually understand him better, the writing is gorgeous, it has one of my favourite OC's of all time, and the way the inevitability and yet the active choice of Wille and Simon's relationship plays into everything here... It hurts and it is so good.

Et c'est le but! by @piebingo - Simon moves across the world to play hockey and live with a host family, Wille's of course. There's only one chapter of this so far but the premise of this is so exciting, and the first Wilmon interaction had me invested already. Really looking forward to reading more of this!

Running With Wolves by @enjoythesilentworld - I'm kind of cheating by putting this one in because I've only read the first chapter but I am already so invested. I never knew the YR fandom needed their own crime novel but this made me realise we so do. Detective Simon, crimeboss Wille, an intricate and incredibly developed plot and so so so much tension. It doesn't get better than that.

And also, because I couldn't bear leaving these out, a few finished works that I really really enjoyed reading!!

Moon go down (do it again) by @skibasyndrome - Wille and Simon in Simon's dorm a few months into meeting and their first uni semester. This has been living in my head since I first read it. The atmosphere, the writing, the quietness of the scene and the loudness of their emotions, the sweetness of the moment. It's so perfectly captured and I want to be in it forever. I'm so happy to have this fic to read whenever I want some comfort.

Take A Punt by @gulliblelemon - Wille and Simon connect in a UK university town. I loved following along as this was posted. It's lighthearted and cute, and it's adorable and fun how Wille is so immediately mesmerised by Simon. But there's also some honest and emotional conversations, and the awkwardness of the transition from accidently spending time together to doing it very much on purpose. Perfect for a pick me up after a tough day.

Never Not You by @pagegirlintraining - Twelve years after the sex tape, Wille and Simon are best friends but have moved on romantically. Or have they?? I was lucky enough to binge this fic when it was finished because oh my god I don't think I could've managed to wait with how invested I was. The fact that this fic had both pov's added so much and puts you right into both of their headspaces. Characterisation is incredible and the dynamic is so Wilmon but has also clearly grown up with them. It's exceptionally painful and messy, but just like with their relationship, it is more than worth it.

[isuckatwritingsobenice]

𝐒𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐭 𝐑𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭˚˖𓍢ִ໋🦢˚

Synopsis: Split Rivers Sweetheart, a sweet little Junior who’s the lead singer of the schools show choir. The only issue is a certain head cheerleader has made it her life’s mission to disband your club with her family’s money. Unfortunately for her, you seem to have more support than you realize, maybe even from the golden boy himself. Wally Clark.

Notes: Modern AU! All characters are alive! Mentions of Alcohol, Drugs, partying! Reader and all characters are around 17-18 ish! Most of my inspo for this was from Glee since I’m rewatching the show. 80’s References & so on.

Masterlist // Chapter Four

The air in the show choir room was thick with tension. What started as an ambitious idea was quickly becoming a logistical nightmare. The cheerleaders stood on one side of the room, arms crossed, ponytails bouncing whenever they rolled their eyes. The show choir members stood on the other, looking just as unimpressed.

At the center of it all stood Claire Zolinski, clipboard in hand, her perfectly manicured nails tapping impatiently against the surface. Across from her, Charley had their arms crossed, gaze sharp. Maddie was beside them, shifting her weight like she was physically holding back the urge to say something snarky.

“Alright,” Claire exhaled, looking around at the divided room. “We’re running out of time. We need to at least get through Espresso before practice is over.”

Nicole clapped her hands together, trying to cut through the tension with enthusiasm. “It’s a high-energy song! If we nail the timing, it’s gonna look amazing!”

“It would help if the choreography actually made sense,” Charley shot back.

Claire stiffened. “It does make sense. You just don’t know how to keep up.”

Charley scoffed. “Right, because we definitely spend our time throwing people in the air for fun.”

“You don’t spend your time dancing, that’s for sure.”

“Okay, enough,” you interrupted, stepping forward before the argument could spiral further. “Can we at least try to get through this? Fighting isn’t gonna magically make the routine better.

Claire and Charley didn’t break eye contact for a moment longer before Claire finally sighed and looked away. “Fine.”

Maddie muttered something under her breath, but you ignored it, turning to Yuri, who was adjusting the mic stand. “Let’s start from the top.”

Simon cracked his knuckles, looking more excited for the dancing than the actual singing. “Let’s do this.”

Dawn hit play on the speaker, and the bass from Espresso filled the room. Immediately, everyone scrambled into position.

The first few beats started strong—Simon and Nicole nailed the footwork, and Yuri’s vocals were clean and controlled. But it didn’t take long for things to start falling apart. The cheerleaders weren’t in sync with the choir members. The formations were off. Some of the show choir kids were getting tripped up by the fast transitions.

By the time the first chorus hit, Claire threw her hands up in frustration.

“Stop, stop, stop!” she yelled, reaching over to pause the music. “This isn’t working!”

“Oh really?” Maddie shot back, voice dripping with sarcasm. “I couldn’t tell.”

Claire turned to her sharply. “You could at least try instead of rolling your eyes every five seconds.”

“I am trying. It’s just hard to take this seriously when it’s obvious you don’t actually care about us being part of this. You just need warm bodies to fill your routine.”

Claire’s jaw clenched, and for the first time, something flickered in her expression—guilt, maybe? But it was gone just as fast. “I do care. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have come to you in the first place.”

Maddie crossed her arms. “Yeah, well, you sure have a funny way of showing it.”

Before things could spiral again, Yuri let out a sharp sigh, running a hand through his hair. “Enough. If we’re going to make this work, we need to simplify things where we can.” He turned to you, eyes sharp with decision. “You’re singing all the songs.”

You blinked. “Wait, what?”

“It’ll be cleaner if we don’t switch vocalists mid-performance. It gives the routine consistency, and let’s be real, you have the strongest voice for these songs.” Yuri’s tone was firm, leaving no room for argument.

Janet nodded in agreement. “It makes sense. Less moving around for us, and the focus stays on the performance itself instead of worrying about transitions.”

Claire, for once, didn’t argue, just crossed her arms and sighed. “Fine by me. As long as we can actually get through the choreography.”

You hesitated for a moment, but seeing everyone waiting for your answer, you finally nodded. “Alright. I’ll do it.”

“Good,” Yuri said. “Now, let’s actually run this thing properly.”

The two groups exchanged glances, tension still thick in the air, but eventually, they all grumbled in agreement.

“Alright,” Claire said, rolling back her shoulders. “From the top.”

The music started again. And this time, despite the mistakes, despite the hesitations, despite the obvious divide in the room—something clicked.

It still wasn’t perfect, but for the first time, it actually felt like they might be able to pull this off.

By the time practice was over, the tension had eased—but just barely. The cheerleaders and the show choir weren’t exactly friends, but at least they weren’t actively trying to strangle each other anymore. Progress.

As everyone started packing up, Nicole clapped her hands together. “So, I talked to the theater department, and they’re in.”

Yuri raised an eyebrow. “In for what?”

“The setup for the halftime show. You know how they’re the fastest at putting sets together? They’ll be responsible for whatever staging we have on the field.”

Janet grinned. “That actually makes this a lot easier. They work fast, and they’ll make sure everything doesn’t fall apart mid-performance.”

Claire, still slightly stiff from earlier arguments, nodded. “Fine. But tell them not to overdo it. We don’t need a Broadway production, just something functional.”

Nicole smirked. “Oh, don’t worry. They’re already planning something over-the-top. You know how they are.”

Claire groaned, rubbing her temples, but didn’t argue.

“Alright,” Yuri sighed. “We’ll meet up tomorrow to go over everything again. Let’s hope it actually looks like a halftime show by then.”

With that, practice wrapped up, and everyone filed out—some leaving in pairs, others in quiet groups, all exhausted but determined.

The sun hung low in the sky, streaking the field with gold as the football team pushed through their drills. The air was thick with sweat, the sharp scent of churned-up grass, and the distant echo of cleats slamming against turf.

But none of that mattered to Wally Clark.

Not when the coach was in his face, practically spitting as he yelled.

“Pick it up, Clark! You’re not running plays like you mean them! You want a championship or not?”

Wally gritted his teeth, helmet tucked under his arm, sweat dripping down the back of his neck. “Yes, Coach.”

“Then act like it! You’re the best we got! You don’t bring your A-game, we don’t win. And I don’t lose!”

The words sank deep into Wally’s chest, pressing against the already suffocating weight of expectations. He knew all of this. He didn’t need to hear it again.

But before the frustration could fester, Coach blew the whistle. “Five-minute break! Hydrate!”

The players scattered, some jogging to the sidelines for water, others flopping onto the grass with exhausted groans. Wally exhaled hard, rolling his shoulders, trying to shake off the stress.

That was when the whistles started.

A couple of his teammates nudged each other, smirking as they tilted their chins toward the field entrance. “Well, hello, ladies.”

Wally didn’t even glance up. He’d seen the cheerleaders walk onto the field a million times before. It wasn’t exactly a life-changing event.

But then—

The music started.

At first, it was just a heavy beat pulsing through the speakers. But then, a voice cut through the field.

Clear. Strong. Captivating.

Wally frowned, finally looking up as he pulled his helmet off.

The cheerleaders were moving into formation, rehearsing their halftime routine. The show choir had set up near them, their small group arranged with microphones, preparing to run through the setlist. But Wally barely registered any of that.

Because he was focused on her.

Or at least, he was trying to.

He couldn’t see her—she was too far, blocked by some of the other performers—but he could hear her. And that was enough to make something inside him pause.

She sounded good.

Not just decent, not just okay. Really, really good. Like she belonged on a stage bigger than a high school football field.

And it bothered him.

Because he wasn’t expecting it.

His feet moved before he could stop himself, stepping toward the edge of the field, trying to angle himself for a better look. Just as he was about to get a clear view—

“Clark!”

Coach’s bark snapped him out of it, and he turned sharply, setting his jaw.

“Get over here! We’re going over plays!”

Wally clenched his helmet in one hand, giving the field one last glance. He still couldn’t see her.

But the voice stayed with him.

Even as he jogged back to his teammates, even as the coach started barking orders again—he could still hear her.

And for the first time in a long time, Wally Clark found something slipping through the cracks of football, pressure, and expectations.

Curiosity.

Soft shades of pink and baby blue painted the walls, the warm glow of fairy lights strung along the white curtains casting gentle shadows. Jewelry clinked softly against the edges of a porcelain tray on her vanity, catching the dim light like scattered stars. The room smelled faintly of vanilla and fresh linen, an otherwise safe and dreamy space—if not for the muffled chaos drifting up from downstairs.

The shouting had started almost twenty minutes ago.

At first, you tried to ignore it. Pretended it was just another disagreement, a raised voice or two before everything settled down. But then something shattered.

Your stomach twisted.

You paced the length of you room, arms crossed tightly over your chest, fingers gripping the hem of your shirt. You didn’t know what to do. Could you do anything? If you went downstairs, you might make it worse. If you stayed put, you’d have to keep listening, the weight of every sharp word digging under your skin.

The sound of something else breaking made you flinch.

Your hands shook as you reached for your phone, quickly scrolling to Dawn’s contact. You pressed the call button and brought the phone to your ear, squeezing your eyes shut.

“Pick up. Please pick up.”

The line rang once. Twice.

Straight to voicemail.

You exhaled sharply, throat tight. Of course. It’s late. She’s probably asleep.

The voices downstairs swelled again, and you quickly set your phone aside, not trusting your grip. Instead, you crawled onto your bed, curling up against the plush comforter.

It was all you could do.

Just wait.

Wait for it to stop.

Wait for the voices to drop back down into silence, for the tension to dissolve into an uneasy stillness.

Eventually, exhaustion won out.

Even with the distant echoes of anger in the air, even with the weight pressing heavy on your chest—your eyelids grew heavier. Your body gave in.

And as you slipped into sleep, the last thing you heard was the sound of someone walking away downstairs.

The steady rhythm of a basketball hitting the wall filled the room, punctuated by the occasional swish as it landed perfectly in the small hoop hanging over his door. Wally leaned back against his pillows, tossing the ball absentmindedly, watching it spin in the air before catching it again.

His phone buzzed on his nightstand.

He ignored it.

Another buzz. Then another.

Probably the guys in the group chat talking about practice, or the game on Friday, or something else football-related. He just didn’t care right now. He needed a break. A second to breathe without thinking about running plays, winning streaks, or his coach drilling it into his head that he was the key to a championship.

He exhaled through his nose, tossing the ball a little harder.

His mind wandered back to practice, to the way his coach got on his case about picking up the pace. It wasn’t like he was slacking off, but lately, it felt like no matter how much he gave, it wasn’t enough. The pressure was there, constant, sitting heavy on his shoulders.

His grip tightened around the ball.

Then—his thoughts shifted.

To her voice.

The rehearsal.

That halftime thing the choir was doing with the cheerleaders. He hadn’t planned on paying attention, but he did. More than he wanted to admit.

The sound of her voice had cut through the noise of practice, weaving through the air in a way that made him stop. He hadn’t even seen her—just heard her, like something drawing him in before he could think twice about it.

And now he was wondering.

Who the hell was that?

His phone buzzed again.

He let the ball drop into his lap and ran a hand down his face, staring up at the ceiling, still hearing the lingering melody in his head.

And for the first time all night, it wasn’t football running circles in his brain.

It was her.

Whoever she was.

[marzipanilla]

And right now the only wall bashing happening is my head against the bricks lol

I love how we've totally managed to swap which thread is actually discussing SU stuff lol

Jasper finally breaking down like YOU HAVE THE POWER OF A DIAMOND. you are a diamond! And yet you wander around. paying for things. staring at the scenery. I WOULD CONQUER GALAXIES IN YOUR NAME. why aren't you ordering me to use MY power to do that? am I too small now, my diamond?

And poor Steven just having to be like, okay, first off, stop calling me that- here, eat this donut, we're gunna watch the sunrise and I'm not gunna unpack all that bc it's not my job anymore. you can figure it out Jasper. I'm pretty sure you already know the answer.

J: because you're weak?

S: -.- Try again.

lol Nolan hobbies powered by spite. yeah. Him suddenly being supportive of Mark going to college if he goes in for journalism xD Mark awkwardly meeting up with SpiderMan later after his dad has him shake him down like, hey dude, we good? you aren't secretly evil, right?? and Peter having to throw that line right back at his face and then they get the ultimate irony later. Aw, now I'm thinking about Peter and Aunt May hanging out with Debbie and Mark after lol

Would JJ lose his shit or actually start a Omni-Man was framed campaign??? he works against Invincible and Spidey now xD JJ and Powerplex in a room together. oof.

You saw my ep reorder ramble already but yeah !! Powerplex should have opened the season. Then the way I see it, Mark then has his future Immortal run in and is then all fucked up about having to kill him/not wanting to/being forced into it, and maybe he tells Cecil about what happened because they are still kinda buds at that point ! And then the Doc Seismic shit is happening and Mark is holding back bc he just killed a guy again and is wigging out and everyone gets screwed. Then when Mark loses it on Cecil he can be like the GDA doesn't get to decide shit. Powerplex worked for you, stole from you, and murdered his own family. And Cecil gets to be like You JUST came back from the future and told me you were an emperor who left Immortal in charge !! I NEED a way to contain you ! It would make his willingness to be so stupidly overhanded make more sense if he had just heard this kid merked and even older Immortal.

All of the pieces are there !! why is the narrative so out of sorts !! WHY

I actually legit thought Powerplex was new to the show for a moment before he said his name and I saw his family and my brain supplied an image of them flash fried and I was like, oh yeah, I kinda recall this xD

Oliver talking about what he remembered of his parents would have been so fucking important to open with ! I should not be learning this at the end of the fucking season ! And instead of bullshit with Paul we could have gotten a moment from Debbie expressing what she goddamn thinks about Nolan's legacy. What she actually has been telling Oliver about his family, if anything. How she feels about her role in everything and not some bs stock 'normal' shit which she has never expressed wanting before. There is a meter between 'world conquering jackass' and 'total stale white bread' and I think she deserves not to be stuck on world conquering jackass, but she should be nowhere near stale ass white bread.

Way back in S2 I was actually chatting with some other folks who had also read the comic, and honest to god one of the things we talked about that I hoped would happen aside from Oliver being totally written out (a fucking pipe dream but I honestly thought only 3 months had gone by in the show and not the 6 from the comic until the show ass pulled another three months out of Mark's time at high school somehow...) was that if they did keep Debbie raising Oliver that they LET her be weird and a little resentful and that was why he turned into such a prick who was down to murder. Because no matter how decent she was trying to be to this kid who didn't deserve being treated like garbage due to who his father was she couldn't fucking help it, and I would have been fine with her showing that bit of weakness. but they kept everything pretty much the same except they allowed her to not be totally into it from the get go like the comics.

Right now the stuff I like about S3 are, the Cecil flashback, Nolan's breakout, and ep6. Like. hope to god y'all saved your entire animation budget for the last two eps and they don't totally crash and burn so at least if the story continues to be meh I can at least watch something fun.

I know you want to put Powerplex and Mark in a room together but Debbie talking to him. like. I lost everyone. all my friends were murdered. my husband was a monster. my son nearly died. all my close friends of the last 20 years were murdered. You see me out there killing randos and picking fights? No. I'm getting my shit together and building something. You had a family and you pissed it away.

God. I think I just miss seeing her be a little mean to people. Even her talks with Cecil come across as sad more than angry. Let Debbie fucking yell at people again, what the fuck happened there. She was so dismissive of the white house attack ! of Nolan ending up in another dimension ! YES LET HER BE RECKLESS. let her be callous. stop having her suddenly being a fucking doormat for other people's freakouts. its okay baby, I support you no matter what ! FUCK THAT. she needs to snap or at least be shown getting some support so I understand why she isn't just fucking killing people lol

Debbie designating herself a fucking Problem when. Her and a crew of villain adjacent buddies coulda been so fun. Cecil not being able to spy on them anymore bc she now has resources to get that shit off her back. I need people in her corner so fucking bad. A much more gray morality Debbie tho. It's honestly one of the things I really appreciated about S1. She doesn't tell Mark to be good, she tells him to make choices he can live with. The closest she gets to a 'be a hero' statement is nobody is beneath help. God. I would love for that convo to come back up between her and Mark. for it to get nasty re: Nolan.

Eve just starting a business is like, okay whatevs, but that is a federal prison. Government contracts have so much shit built into them ! how they work what you need to do to qualify ! and this fucking teenager just gets the contract?? it definitely shows that heroes are above the law bc wtf. Is it bc she worked with the GDA before that it got greenlit?? If there were attempts to bring a fucking court case against Invincible in recent memory and the public was shaky on his image bc his dad just tried to take over the fucking planet why would he qualify for government contracts !!! if you really want to try and fucking double down on his stupid prison is the only option mandate, than fucking have him go into a damn job interview and give the best police brutality is justified cop speech ever, bc prisons are responsible for the health and safety of their inmates and them hiring man who punches things does not speak highly of the care they give. Tie his fucking job into why he is a hero and not 'damn I need money guess this'll do'. and it is once more something he does not pick. Doormat Mark expose when. just... damn.

Where did the character drama go ??? why do episode one off randos get more depth ??? The exchange between Kate and her brother was great, and it was 100% the kind of conversation Mark should have been having with someone. I also immediately wanted to be like 'oh are you going to mention that you were willing to let everyone believe you were dead just to run away and get out of things Kate? including your brother remember that? no? hm' Why is Rae suddenly living out Kate's apparent fucking dream of retirement. like wtf happened there.

While I'm not too familiar with the DCU- your batfam meta posts are intiguing- so in transfering some of the broader strokes from them- I think you tackling a 'Mark isn't Nolan's biological son' fic would be fascinating. Sort of a step to the side of the 'what if Mark never got his powers' fic that sometimes pop up in the fandom

OOOOOO chewing on this currently, hm, the much a distinct flavor of exactly what you’re talking about, but the potential for more family drama depending on WHO knows. Does Mark know?? Is he waiting every day only to be crushed? Does he confused non-Debbie features with Nolan’s? I suppose I’m not the most enthusiastic about non-power AUs, but I think there’s something very fun to explore about Mark having to settle with, if he knows all his life, he will never have powers? I think the trajectory of his dreams will obviously shift, I can see him still having that distinct fatherly idolization, but perhaps embraces being useful to the GDA? Cecil’s number one intern—only intern—curtesy of nepotism, ha! There is something tickling me about Mark taking the Robin Route/Role for the Teen Team in terms of having no powers, just insane skills, BUT there’s something way more delicious about intern Mark when s1e01 happens and Mark tries snooping around to find out the truth about what happened to his Dad.

I wonder if, with Mark having a whole another father, if they’re more or less distant relationship, depending on WHEN Nolan entered Mark’s life? Like if Debbie met Nolan later for this, or just for fun, they dated once, separated (Mark being born during then), then they happened to stumble into each others lives again and Mark’s already been born, anywhere from tween to teenager so there’s a gap in how close they are. I feel like one important aspect of the whole Family Drama is how close they’re supposed to be, a functional, loving family turned upside down? So I wonder what more distance does. I wonder how Nolan copes when his family is entirely human and he can’t project onto Mark.

I love thinking about these, omg.

[astro-b-o-y-d]

Tumblr users will make a poll about how many drugs someone does or how much sex someone has, and then proceed to mock the amount of people who've done neither. Only to turn around and get mad at people who are like 'hey man, don't be a dick because some people just don't want to have sex/smoke/etc' with the claim that 'THEY JUST HATE DRUG USERS' or whatever.

And it's like...am I back in high school? This is high schooler behavior.

[suntails]

growing up!

[inkskinned]

one of the things about being an educator is that you hear what parents want their kids to be able to do a lot. they want their kid to be an astronaut or a ballerina or a politician. they want them to get off that damn phone. be better about socializing. stop spending so much time indoors. learn to control their own temper. to just "fucking listen", which means to be obedient.

one of the things i learned in my pedagogy classes is that it's almost always easier to roleplay how you want someone to act. it's almost always easier to explain why a rule exists, rather than simply setting the rule and demanding adherence.

i want my kids to be kind. i want them to ask me what book they should read next, and i want to read that book with them so we can discuss it. i want my kid to be able to tell me hey that hurt my feelings without worrying i'll punish them. i want my kid to be proud of small things and come running up to me to tell me about them. i want them to say "nah, i get why this rule exists, but i get to hate it" and know that i don't need them to be grateful-for-the-roof-overhead while washing the dishes. i want them to teach me things. i want them to say - this isn't safe. i'm calling my mom and getting out of this. i want them to hear me apologize when i do fuck up; and i want them to want to come home.

the other day a parent was telling me she didn't understand why her kid "just got so angry." this woman had flown off the handle at me.

my dad - traditional catholic that he is - resents my sentiment of "gentle parenting". he says they'll grow up spoiled, horrible, pretentious. granola, he spits.

i am going to be kind to them. i am going to set the example, i think. and whatever they choose become in the meantime - i'm going to love them for it.

[hanzajesthanza]

witcher netflix: [drops]

henry cavill fans: honestly, i don’t really care about the story, i’m just here because hcav is hot asf

me: wtf? how shallow is this… only there because the titular witcher is hot? talk about missing the point…

witcher 4 trailer: [drops]

✨ciri✨: 😡

me: … i understanded.

[cloud-ya]

autumn thinking