#And it doesn't feel like it's All Times or Multiple Times overlapping it's like its own thing which. Of course it is. It's his mindapace bu

[abyssalpriest]

8/12/23

Commentary on a place in Lev's mindapace.

There's a particular valley. Do you remember the first time you ever stood in front of a plane? It's one thing to see them in the sky, tiny, whimsical, but your first holiday where you stand in front of one of them, after the long journey out to it, where it hums and breathes and it becomes not just a fun idea but a grounded machine, huge, present, looming, real, its wings dwarfing all your imagined preconceptions with their heavy, outstretched reality? This valley stretches like that. Holds like that. Great mountains stand like a distant jury of gods, moss browns all over, rich rocks, wind-worn yet fertile, pregnant with bitter cold.

The flat valley fills the gap like the courtroom silence.

Running down the middle of this flat valley is a thin stream, no raging river; it's a whisper compared to the chatter of a busy street. I've always wondered why it was so thin. He often meets me beside it, in fact I don't think I've been anywhere else in these mountains and valley... Cloud-grey rocks smooth and slate-like - flat - interspersed with other shades of mundanity. Tiniest little hardy grasses, or something, small specks of life burning with the Name of his lover.

It's so cold, but it isn't. It feels like how the ocean feels to him, when I've possessed his body and found that the depths of cold and the heights of heat mean little more than suggestions to him. It feels like the sky.

There, that mountain, looking out to a direction that means nothing to you, the reader, that mountain on the left. That's the one, in my head at least, that I see that sacred vision: He lies over it propped up by swords piercing through his back, pieta-esque if he were Jesus and the mountain Mary and yet not, because they don't touch except where his legs drape within her, the tense friction of metal holds him above her so that they could not touch. The handles are decorated with some sort of red tassels, or something, ceremonial...

It's always been in the back of my mind though, the lingering question of why, in this expansive valley, wider than any valley I've ever seen, this stream is so thin and shallow. Maybe up to my ankle, maybe almost as wide as I am tall... Why? Glacially cold, air-clear, thread-like. A creaking mountain of ice haunts this place, a mountain of ice and restraint; I say that, I see Lev strung up by the hands vividly but in little detail beyond abstract Bacon-esque suggestions of a solemn, physically taut and twisted form... It isn't tragic, nor is it in any way painful, though. It is like mellification or self-immolation: beautiful, sustained, preserved, meditative-blissful, it is like ice, isn't it. To be the piercingly cold Day sky and its entourage of cloud-bodies - the rain picks up heaviness outside my physical window as I type - to slowly melt and drip with such self-restraint... His connection to her is the devotion of a monk to his monastery, his people, and his God.

[lemurmate]

I finally looked at that soulbonding strawpage so it's time to disprove it. Feel free to link this if this discourse ever comes up over there I don't really care

This is also highlights why you really shouldn't trust anything presenting itself as an informational resource that doesn't have sources. Don't worry everyone, I spent way too long going through websites that were made for a monitor the size of a shoebox to get them

so the reason is moreso that the term system wasn't known to the soulbonding community at the time and it's a case of two separately developed communities. Think like otherkin and therian developed separately but started to share terms later.

Unfortunately, LiveJournal was being a bitch, and the soulbonding LJ was not archived well. Thankfully I did find a mirror that let me search, and here are the earliest results.

The most blatant one is sourced 08.07.03: "(I have SoulBonds, and one could say I'm part of a multiple-ish system. It's *not* DID, though. I guess most of you know about empowered multiplicity and SBing anyway.)"

You can find a lot more references to soulbonds as systems from around this time too! and nothing really saying they aren't systems (even in early accounts of discourse).

You also have this essay, likely from around that time, that discusses directly this combining between soulbonding and multiplicity.

"If you look through the annals of history, you'll notice that much of the soulbonding community thought itself very far removed from plurality, and the multiple community out there didn't even address soulbonding at all. Recently, all of this has been changing very quickly. Now, you don't have to look very hard to find multiple systems who admit to soulbonding, or soulbonders who have acknowledged themselves as multiple."

(Also "Hopefully in a year or two, we'll be writing another essay called 'Our Thoughts on the New Friendship Between the Multiple and Soulbonding Communities.'" BUDDY I AM SORRY-)

I also actually found a comment on Psych Forums, a DID community, that discusses soulbonds in 2010 and having soulbonds with alters, which was very interesting.

But anyway either way it seems like when soulbonders learned about the term system and multiple, they started using it.

Similar to what happened with fictive actually but that's a whole other topic to explain.

I wasn't going to acknowledge this because I don't know fuck all about tulpamancy, but stuff about the overlap kept coming up in other sources so here you go.

From Soul Whispers in at least 2004 (context being a semi-conscious creation element to soulbonding): "This theory also has its own basis in ancient spiritualities; there is a belief in some Eastern religions, such as Tibetan Buddhism, that people can create and shape "thought-forms" that take on a spirit-realm life of their own as animals, mythological creatures, or other people."

From Living Library in 2015: "Still other soulbonders deliberately set out to create a soulbond (which often overlaps to some degree with tulpamancy, the practice of deliberately creating new consciousnesses as mental companions)"

So like there is a known overlap, but I couldn't give you anything super insightful on that.

Not inherently, no. This personal essay from Soul Whispers earliest archived in 2004 points out how complicated soulbond theories are, acknowledges psychological theories ("One theory that once used to be popular, and probably originated from the old Multiple Personality Disorder idea (or else was just suggested because it seems simple and obvious), is that a SoulBond is just you personifying a part of you which you refuse to acknowledge or which might need an outlet"). While it acknowledges the multiverse theory, it also concludes with an imaginary-created world turned real theory against the multiverse theory.

This essay from 2000 also highlights the early writer/muse focus that the community has.

The spiritual-focused view was popularized by From Fiction. I don't have a source beyond "system joined the soulbonding community in 2016", but if you look up anything from them, it is very spirituality/multi-verse focused, and that can also be seen with their fictionkin stuff.

If you want a newer example, Living Library's site from 2015 directly acknowledges this: "Some soulbonders see soulbonding in a psychological light, whether by considering their soulbonds aspects of their own personality or as conscious psychological entities like themselves."

Also from experience, some of it came from other systems seeing the term and assuming soul = spiritual.

You can see the above essays and sources to see that that's not a universal view that all soulbonders have. Actually a few of those acknowledge the view that soulbonds might be a part of the host.

Though that is true that soulbonds can be anything!

This is another yes and no thing. If you're coming at this from a strictly multiverse view, yeah, but again not all soulbonders view it like that.

It can also get a little muddy if you have a soulbond who doesn't really acknowledge you as a headmate (i.e. seeing you as just a headvoice on their end).

From what I've seen personally, the divination thing is relatively new in the community, and I think came from the overlap with reality shifting and that bringing in more spiritual beliefs? At least looking through the LiveJournal archive I couldn't find jack shit for divination and soulbonding.

Interestingly I also see this a lot more with the self shipping overlap, which seems to be reinforced by the StrawPage including links for that, but I don't know anything about self shipping culture or yumeship.

Likewise this is genuinely the first time I've seen it compared to deity worship.

I have seen it compared to pop culture paganism sometimes, but from our experiences having some spiritual soulbonds and pop culture deities... not really? I can kind of see it though? But I wouldn't say it as a universal thing. Cool if you experience it like that though!

Anyway all that aside, the only other terms they have being like self shipping focused is a little annoying, especially since soulbonding actually does have a lot of interesting terms that's developed within it

[spuirrelwiththeletterp]

cutely slides in the yap post about their Sans AU that was previously accidently posted and jumps out of a window 😊

I've posted some art of my kid, but haven't given their name(I did) or any other info. I will eventually make a proper info post on them, but for now...

this booger right here is Error Print Sans, or just Print Error (or Error Print)

an absolute feck ton of words under the cut that's me just throwing up my thoughts ⇓

they originally started out as a passing thought that was just Error!Sans but CMYK colors, which evolved into a whole different character who didn't even have anything CMYK going on and I forgot about them for around two or three years until I re-entered my Undertale/UTMV phase recently. seriously disliked the character and the direction I took them in so I decided to start from scratch, took the original CMYK concept, and Print Error was born

am still working out their lore. I have ideas for some events that led to their current state, though how they got into the Anti-Void or why their attire changed after becoming an error is still beyond me

I called them Print Error because inkjet printers use CMYK ink and they're an error (very creative ik) they also feel weird being called just Print but they don't know why

even though I made its design with the CMYK color model in mind, its more CMY than CMYK due to actually not having any black, the way its body works just makes it look like it has black↴

Print Error's being is composed of 3 overlapping color layers (cyan, magenta, yellow) that each depict how much of that magic they have. less saturated colors means less magic left, and running out of all three colors will leave Print Error in a mindless "no color" or "all white" state where they can't use any magic unless they absorb color through physical contact

the alignment of Print Error's layers reflect their mental state. more misaligned layers means more mentally unstable or intense Print Error's emotions. more aligned layers means Print Error is more "there" in their own chaotically fragmented way, but layers rarely ever align too closely...

Their body is not affected by lighting, which means they stick out like a sore thumb with their bright colors and vantablack bones (it's already hard enough to just make the effect, shading them would just be an absolute nightmare 😭)

Print Error's strings are much thicker than a typical error's and come from both its eyes and mouth. Print Error can additionally absorb CMY colors from objects/beings with its strings

Print Error's attacks (bones, gaster/printing error blaster blasts) come in cyan, magenta, and yellow, which all have their own properties, but Print Error can't control what color their attack will be half of the time

Print Error is cold to the touch but has thermoanesthesia, so it doesn't know its a walking ice cube. its confused why others react so weird when coming in physical contact with it

Print Error does not understand social cues and personal space. they're often in a chaotically playful mood, though not always

Print Error is morally grey and can't tell the difference between good and bad, everything is neutral to it... apart from mistakes

Print Error's thoughts are inconsistent, usually jumping from one topic to another, having multiple thoughts at once, or not having any thoughts at all. it usually "lives in the moment", often going with the flow

Print Error's fragmented mind kind of leaves them absent minded most of the time, getting easily distracted and forgetting things like it's nobody's business. though they can often hold their focus if they're intrigued by something

even with a horrible memory, Print Error can remember things at random, though often it's something that it was previously intrigued by, or just something completely random. either way its gonna forget not even 2 seconds later

Print Error deeply believes that any mistake, no matter how small, can be catastrophic, causing them to have a sort of perfectionist mindset. they try to avoid making any mistakes, and punish themself over any mistakes they do make (leaving out details)

if Print Error witnesses someone else make a mistake, there's a chance their mind might not register it, but more often than not, will get seriously exasperated at the person for making a mistake and might even crash out of frustration. not because of the mistake itself, but more so out of fear for the person, though Print Error doesn't recognize the feeling nor reason behind it

though they do heal quicker than usual, it's a double-edged sword as it subconsciously encourages Print Error's more self-destructive behavior

I originally had Print Error have excellent depth perception, until I thought of Print Error seeing everything in the same layered effect others see them in. definitely gonna explore that idea!

there are many more ideas I have for Print Error but I don't know how to "coherently" include them so those are gonna be revealed over time 😉

If anyone wants to ask anything about Print Error, feel free to ask! I would love to answer any questions about them and I got nothing but time!

been stressing over this post for like two weeks and I just set a deadline so I wouldn't tweak things till the heat death of the universe

was heavily inspired by @ossiethegreat's Static Hue/Error!Color post to make my own rant on my own kid, so there might be some similarities cuz I am oh so ✨️creative✨️. link to the post because I absolutely loved reading its ideas and I love Hue

I AM SO SORRY OZ IF YOU DID GET A NOTIFICATION FOR THE UNFINISHED VERSION OF THIS POST THAT WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN I AM SO FRICKING SORRY 😭😭😭

I really tried to explain my thoughts and I feel like I failed in certain areas 😭 I struggle with explaining my ideas and especially the more in-depth ones, so some things might change if I find better ways to explain them

I definitely plan to share more of this gremlin, and especially if more than one person is interested in them!

also found some older drawings of Print Error I made previously but didn't share, so I'm sharing now because I don't think I would have shared these at any point in the future

also a lil lore one 👀 which I like but also don't like

[usergif]

HOW TO: Cross-Fade Multiple Gifs

Hi! In this tutorial, I'm going to go over how I typically do a fade transition that works with Video Timeline. Disclaimer: This tutorial assumes you have a basic understanding of gif-making in Photoshop and requires the use of keyframes.

Before I start, if you're wondering "why don't you just use the cross fade tool on the Timeline?" — this thing:

It doesn't work for me 🤷🏻‍♀️ Something happens when converting from Video Timeline back to Frame Animation (the converting everything into a smart object step) that completely negates the cross fade whenever I use it. I'm not sure why, but this is why I do fade transitions the way I'm about to explain.

PHASE 1: THE GIFS

1.1 – Determine how many frames you need. There are 3 things to remember here: 1) Ideally, each gif section should have the same amount of frames, so the transitions feel evenly spaced. 2) The gif's dimensions and total number of frames affect file size. Your final exported gif needs to be under 10MB (Tumblr's limit), so you should consider the total number of frames in relation to the size of your gif. My example gif is 540x540px and 60 frames total; final file size = 7.8MB. 3) Add 4 extra frames to each section to account for the cross-faded portion. (The reason I chose 4 specifically is because Video Timeline works in 0.03-second intervals. The typical duration of my fade transitions is 0.06 seconds — which, when converted back to frames, is 4 frames.) I knew 60 total frames would be a safe bet for a gif this size. Since I had 3 gif sections, each would be 20 frames. I added 4 additional frames, making each one 24 frames (before removing duplicates in the exporting process, which will be explained in Phase 3). You can make your transitions longer than 0.06, but I recommend keeping it to intervals of 0.03 due to the way Timeline works. Every 0.03 seconds = 2 frames, so use this when deciding how many extra frames you'll need.

1.2 – Import frames, crop, and resize. Do this as you normally would! If you need a tutorial for the basics, here's my tutorial. :)

1.3 – Move all gifs onto one document/canvas. Right-click the gif layer and select "Duplicate Layer:"

Then choose the appropriate document from the dropdown list:

Do this for each gif section so you can work on one document for the rest of the process.

1.4 – Put each gif into its own group. Select each layer and use the shortcut Command+G or right-click and select "Group from Layers." In Phase 2, we'll be putting the opacity keyframes on the groups instead of the individual layers.

1.5 – Arrange each gif's group on the Timeline. At the end of Gif 1, move backwards 6 times. Move the starting point of Gif 2 to this spot. At the end of Gif 2, move back 6 times and make this Gif 3's starting point. Here's how my gifs look arranged on the Timeline, animated so you can see the 6-space distance:

We'll be adding keyframes to these overlapping sections in Phase 2.

1.6 – Set up the last transition. At the very beginning of the Timeline, hit the forward button 6 times and click the scissors to divide the clip. Move the starting point of your gif to the newly trimmed beginning as shown below:

Then, move the original beginning chunk of Gif 1 — that tiny 0.06-second clip — to the end of the timeline above the rest of your layers, aligning its end with the end of Gif 3. Put it in a group like you did in Step 1.4:

Note: This screenshot shows my final workspace with the coloring layers in groups and the keyframes already placed.

1.7 – Color your gifs. Do this however you want, just keep all your adjustment layers and any other effects within their respective groups:

Duplicate the adjustment layers from Gif 1 and move them into the folder Gif 1 - Beginning (where your tiny 0.06-second clip is). Be sure the adjustment layers line up with the rest of the group so those adjustments don't affect your other gifs! You may want to trim the adjustment layers to match the duration of the clip or just move them so they start at the same spot as that clip.

PHASE 2: THE KEYFRAMES

2.1 – Place a 100% and 0% keyframe at the beginning of each gif's group. Drag the playhead (red vertical line) to the end of Gif 1. Expand the Gif 2 group to reveal the opacity keyframes on the left side of the Timeline panel, then place a keyframe by clicking the icon that looks like a stopwatch. This opacity keyframe is at 100% by default; leave it like that. Drag the playhead to the beginning of Gif 2 and drop another keyframe. While that new keyframe is highlighted yellow, go to the layers panel, make sure Gif 2's group is selected, and reduce the opacity to 0%.

Repeat these steps for each gif's beginning, including the tiny chunk we moved to the end! Here's a gif to show the process:

(Btw, if you click this gif, it should expand to full size so you can get a better look! I made it 1080px.)

PHASE 3: THE DUPLICATES

3.1 – Convert back to Frame Animation. If you're not sure how to do this, I've written out the steps here. But I recommend using an action in your general gif-making process to make this step a lot faster. The one I use is linked in my tutorial which I linked earlier!

3.2 – Delete duplicate frames. Remember, at the beginning I set out to make my final gif 60 frames total. With the keyframe animations, I now have 66 frames:

Palpatine's number 👎 Anyway, that means I have 6 duplicate frames. This is what the gif looks like without removing these duplicates:

Watch closely during the transitions; there's a tiny lag. It doesn't look smooth to me. It's the clones!! Here's why we have these duplicates:

For every 0.03-second long keyframe animation, you'll get 1 duplicate frame. Unfortunately, that's just how Video Timeline works with any kind of animated keyframe. Since our fade transition is 0.06 seconds, we have to get rid of 2 duplicate frames per transition section (2 x 3 transitions sections = 6 total duplicates. Ew, math!).

There's not really a way to avoid this step that I know of, but it's not a big deal in the long run. You just have to look at each transition section, eyeball the duplicate frames yourself, and delete them. It's usually the first frame where the fade starts and then two frames after that. I already deleted the duplicates from the first two transition sections, so here's how it's done for the last transition:

Side note: I set up keyboard shortcuts so I can quickly move forward and backward by one frame and delete frames. You can do this by going to Edit > Keyboard Shortcuts and editing these:

And now I have 60 frames like I originally said I would!

If you want the transition sections to be quicker, you can even decrease the frame delay for the 3 transition frames only — 0.03 or 0.04 might be up to your speed 🥁 but I don't usually do this since I'm fine with the way it looks already.

3.3 – Export. That's it!

I hope this tutorial is helpful. As always, if you have a specific question about this tutorial, feel free to send us an ask!

[toseesoclearly]

What a “Return of the King-ish ending” for ST5 could mean for Will (and Mike): Part One

[this post contains spoilers all of The Lord of the Rings and more importantly for all ST5 leaks, make your own choices in deciding to read <3]

The Lord of the Rings, in book and film form, is obviously a big reference point for the Duffers, along with the books looming large for our group of nerds in-universe.

I have just always loved these covers even if they're not quite period appropriate for ST. I am going to imagine Will's copies of the books are used, well-loved trippy '60s editions

ST5 having a “Return of the King-ish ending” has been cited by the Duffers and the cast a few times now. They could just be referring to the tone (bittersweet, but happy overall) and/or the length of the epilogue. RotK’s infamous multiple fade to blacks should be the assumed probable end for “The Right Side Up” at this point (imo people who complain about that in RotK are weak-willed and losers /j).

But, the idea that RotK is being used as a broader touchpoint for ST5 is exciting for me because Will being a total Frodo type isn’t just added flavor for my ST experience, it's been a huge part of the show's appeal for me. Frodo was a formative early favorite character of mine, so I was extremely onboard for another soulful-eyed sensitive* boy gradually losing his sense of self to the horrors.

Texts between myself and a friend in November 2017, I think our text thread contains the only written record of my thoughts on this show pre-2022 because I used to be able to tune in for the newest season, coo at Will, and promptly stop thinking about ST. I miss that version of my life

Obviously I responded to this in s2 right away, but looking back on it again, it is striking how Frodo and Will’s supernatural torment and corruption share a visual language:

certainly some of this is big big eyes on smol ~delicate face, but I think there is some classic Duffer borrowing going on here

*I can't seem to fold this into this post in a natural way but I feel like I need to note up top that queer audiences reading Confirmed Bachelor Frodo as gay has been happening, with passion and enthusiasm, since the LotR's publication. Sam too of course, but Frodo doesn't even get a compulsory female love interest to marry upon return from the journey like Sam and Aragorn do.

But there are some important distinctions. What’s going on with Frodo isn’t really possession, and there are a couple major elements of his arc that have not been present in Will’s story (yet).

Temptation

The Ring's poisonous influence has a specific bent, coming from the temptation to wield its power. It’s all very biblical, we know LotR is extremely rooted in Tolkien’s Christianity, etc. Frodo’s ability to resist that temptation for as long as he does comes from his nature as a hobbit, the most humble of the races of Middle-Earth. Even the smallest person can change the course of the future, as you may have heard.

This layer of the Frodo-esque supernatural psycho-drama that Will is enmeshed in hasn't shown up for him so far. I think it's definitely on the table for s5 - especially if it turns out he has powers, or something else Vecna wants. But I expect, if it happens, Will’s temptation wouldn’t be about something so grand or theological, but more personal - overlapping, aptly for a season that is being billed as Will’s coming-of-age, with that stage in his hero’s journey like @/therainscene discusses here.

Choice

Again and again, Frodo chooses to keep going, despite the hardships inherent in his quest, his own doubts, and his accelerating mental deterioration and loss of all hope. This is to me probably the most important narrative divergence between Frodo and Will due to the different roles they have in their respective stories (and where ST’s horror/‘80s Spielberg ethos overrides any mythic/fantasy epic tendencies). As much as LotR has an expansive ensemble cast and storylines driven by other prominent characters, Frodo is the saga’s “main character.”

Will’s functions in the ST’s modern genre framework as a mash-up of a bunch of different (typically supporting) character types (my favorite write-up on this, c/o @/pinkeoni), and unlike your classic central fantasy hero, those types are often defined by a lack of agency. 

Frodo’s victory results from his endurance and, ultimately and unexpectedly, a specific act of mercy. Will’s story is also characterized by his endurance, but, unlike Frodo, he largely hasn’t been given a chance to opt into or out of the circumstances that require that of him.

But that set up should mean the pay off for Will’s arc will involve him finally being empowered. The valence of that empowerment will look different than Frodo's for the reasons discussed above, and I'm obviously extremely (the most??) excited to discover what that looks like.

Thinking about that difference in Will and Frodo’s positions in the larger structure of their stories brings us to another interesting point: Mike and his role as the show's "main character"/audience surrogate. Which will be discussed in the next post because this got too long. 😇

read part two here

[zuzuelectricbugaloo]

The Void and Anti-Void, Science and Eldritch Reasoning

About a week ago, I was chatting with @sarcosticsarcomere about the Void and Anti-Void, and the potential science behind them as well as the mysticism of them, ie, something ostentatiously eldritch and Lovecraftian in nature. This is a ramble about it, and please feel free to add on! I'm gnawing at my enclosure trying to figure this out ;v; ESPECIALLY the Anti-Void good lord

Firstly, in terms of structure, the Voids and Anti-Voids overlap each other in a series of parallel dimensions where there are holes (think worm holes and other similar distortions in time) where Gasters or other beings trapped within could escape or travel between dimensions

If being trapped within the Anti-Void creates creatures like glitches and errors such as Geno and Blueberror and Error respectively, why can't the regular Void warp whatever material falls into it until they can't count as what they once were?

Both the Void and the Anti-Void exist as dimensions outside of reality, contradicting and breaking the rules each reality has previously enforced for itself and all that live in it.

But while the Void is an enclosed space open to anyone with the means to enter, the Anti-Void is an open space with limited access granted to very very few (This is why only Error could enter the place for a long while).

As far as I know, there is only one Anti-Void but there are multiple Voids, meaning there are more void walkers than errors out there. This is because the Anti-Void is connected to everything and nothing all at once, but each Void has its own timeline.

It's often considered that the Void is the absence of time and the Anti-Void is the absence of space, but there is nothing confirming that other than how its inhabitants felt from way too long in isolation.

Color and Geno watched time pass without them in their timelines, but Error and Blueberror had nothing of interest to explore in the Anti-Void, because there is nothing interesting in it. Both are complete absences of reality.

At least the Void hides things. The Anti-Void doesn't.

Because the Anti-Void is connected to nothing and everything at once, and each Void has its own timeline, Voids take up the majority of space (which the Anti-Void lacks) and the Anti-Void takes up the majority of Time.

Time being nebulous at best and circular at worst.

It's why Cross spent a decade in the Void and he and XChara suffered: trapped in the white Void of Xtale (not the Antivoid) because the AU paper still existed, and Cross was trapped inside of it.

[Note: IDK if Jakei ever confirmed exactly how long Cross was there but Im going to assume a decade bc of asthetics, what with Cross being the X-Event, Timeline X, X-Tale, all using the roman numeral X which is "ten." ]

Current HC but not entirely sure how plausible it is: Due to the destruction of Xtale and all the Code (space) of XTale removed, Cross accidentally created another Anti-Void. And since he wasn't alone the whole time (because of XChara, Ink, and because humans can't become errors), that's why he didn't become an error himself. He would've become an error if it weren't for Ink's company. XChara sharing a body with him and making XTale become another part of the Anti-Void had it be familiar to Cross's Code, but it is still now a part of the Void/Anti-Void. If Ink hadn't befriended and frequently spent time with Cross, it would have only delayed the inevitable and turned him into a glitch

Reason why: In the Underverse pilot, Cross glitches when Classic teleports through the voids, right? I think that since Cross got upset with Ink when he realized Ink couldn't bring back his AU, this is further proof that Cross would've become an error without Ink's company. And since Ink had left, Cross was starting to become a glitch (when he glitches now and then. Yes it's a way to denote the switch of XChara and Cross, but still, it's glitching) until he'd stolen part of Classic's Soul

XChara's soul may also be a reason why Cross had a longer defense against turning, because humans cannot become errors. However, because XChara's Soul was trapped in Cross's body, Cross was still turning, albeit at a slower rate than most. Unless XChara took total control of their body then he would be immune, but Cross would resist that and XChara doesn't have the complete strength to maintain that hold. Then Error took their soul and the glitching started immediately afterwards.

Cross's Anti-Void and Error's Anti-Void must've merged at some point, which is how Error found him and XChara. Maybe their pocket dimensions were separate at first, because Error can keep most other people from entering his territory, but Cross didn't even know what his Anti-Void was supposed to be in absence of XTale, and that's why Ink, Core!Frisk, Nightmare, and Dream could enter it freely: the pocket dimension gradually expanded into the overarching Anti-Void

Similar to how the universe is constantly expanding, with galaxies away from Earth faster the farther away they are, Voids are constantly expanding (how the multiverse continues to grow with each additional AU; same case with different multiverses and whatnot)

How that relates to the Anti-Void is that, to account for the exponential growth of Voids, the Anti-Void slowly expands. This expansion could be the absorption of abandoned or destroyed AUs, and it happens at all because all matter cannot be created or destroyed.

All that excess needs to go somewhere; it's the Void and Anti-Voids way of maintaining themselves. Anyway, the expansion includes the Anti-Void of Ink's abandoned -----tale AU to Error's, then whatever other AUs were abandoned and forgotten (like maybe GZTale? Flowerfell? Just off the top of my head, correlating the fandom and Creators with the multiverses) and now more recently, XTale's Au/Anti-Void.

The Void is supposed to contain each reality from blending into each other, not the other way around.

The Void is not just empty space. It's vast, boundless, and unknowable nothingness and all that is; an improbable paradox teeming with probability. It's the absence of life and time, the very concepts on which the fabric of reality itself hinges upon.

It Is and Is Not, constantly expanding, destroying and recreating, feeding and ending itself in a never ending cycle.

Encountering the Void strips away the comforting illusion that you have any importance, that your identity itself is lost in the unknowable seas of the cosmos. Lost in a vast, uncaring emptiness that stretches forever and continues to grow, you will drown for all eternity should you slip below its waves.

Anyone trapped in the Void or touched by it, would be subject to this sea of madness and drown. Take Epic and his Eye, for example.

The laws of physics and logic Gester desperately attempts to assign to the creation he'd made as an avatar to this Unknowable power will never be fully within his grasp because it was never meant to be Known. Trying to control the Void is like trying to eat a dream, or provide reason to pure Chaos.

The Void is Limbo animated: it is death and the end of existence. Not only the absence of life, but the very erasure of meaning. In the Void, one Truth is made Known: for all the hubris of man, never could they be what the Other is; and so, Everything will fade into oblivion.

To control or enforce rules of reality upon the Void is madness. Nothing is as it is and everything is nothing as it was. Trust nothing. Not what you see, not what you hear, not even what you think.

Any mind no matter how brilliant would fracture under the strain of contemplating the unthinkable. How Epic endured is a sheer testament to his will.

The Void is emptiness. And yet, the emptiness itself is not devoid of conscious. Somethings are there. Watching. Listening. Speaking.

What have you seen? What have you heard? What do you feel crawling up your spine and consuming, becoming, you and all that you are and will be?

Stare long enough into the abyss, and it will stare back

Epic's Eye and the Void *Because part of this whole equation is related to the Void, many unplanned results could happen because of that association and there is no monster magic or human science that can determine how something that exists just outside their range of logic can operate inside of it. *In this manner of speaking, Gester is playing recklessly with fire, and that fire will strip itself out of all who wish to contain, control, and manage it. **Gester may be intelligent and creative, but he lacks judgment and intuition, and as a result, his creation will become something beyond him. ***The chaos theory, antimatter, and dark energy all associated with the Void have a pattern of destruction inside reality, but outside of it they all find a semblance of peace and order, but Epic will suffer from that order. To sleep is to fight for his life in the Void, to encounter void walkers and phantoms whose own state of persons have been long since obliterated from their shells. They know something is missing and they wish to take it back, but the Eye is a protective measure as much as it is a malicious one.

*Chaos is “a state of utter confusion and disorder; a total lack of organization or order.” Chaos theory is defined as “a field of mathematics that includes other fields such as physics, economics, biology, and philosophy."

**Chaos theory studies the behavior of dynamical systems that are highly sensitive to initial conditions in what is now named "the butterfly effect", where everything exists in a cloud pf probability. Small differences in initial conditions yield widely diverging outcomes for chaotic systems, rendering long-term prediction impossible. This happens even though these systems are deterministic, meaning that their future behavior is fully determined by their initial conditions, with no random elements involved. ***This substantial change in the final result is not expected. It is also totally unpredictable. Thus, we say that there is chaos manifested in this example. ****Gester created the Eye in hopes of containing the Chaos of the Void in a controlled system: the Eye being the gateway, Epic the vessel, and the Void the source of power

Because if he succeeded, if you could control Chaos itself, then all of Reality and the Beyond would be in your grasp. But ofc Chaos cannot be controlled. Epic is changed from a simple monster to an avatar of Chaos. But he is not native born, and so the the Void via the Eye both punishes what it deems to be a hubristic intruder playing God, while also granting Epic the chance to become Other.

Cleaner agent in sleep, returning with chills of fresh death upon waking. He may not be native to the Void, but the Void now has a claim on his power, its own hybrid. Whose mana is permanently changed, his very essence the ineffable cold, leylines filled with the icy waves of a cosmos of madness.

The Eye, like the Void, operates outside of reality, so of course that would explain why Epic still gets LV despite only killing creations of the Eye itself and only in his dreams.

But why would the Eye despise Epic and not Gester himself? That’s the whole reason it attempts to destroy Epic in the first place as explained in Epictale's prequel comic No Pain No Gain. Because it's stuck with him. It does hate Gester too, but Gester isn't its prison.

And during the Epictale comic, Gester is awake and fighting the entire time after acquiring the Eye from Epic and later Packs's . (So we can’t confirm that Gester would suffer the same fate as Epic or not.)

Then with Packs, why would he not suffer from the Eye? Because Packs was never made to use his Eye, never made to open the gateway. (His Eye doesn’t even have blasters, as I recall from an official ask) So his Eye was never “awakened”.

Each Eye is connected to the Void, and the Void hates Rules. It's not against doors being placed, but cannot stand them being open at Reality's leisure.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

@grimharuspex in the comments of that @zoe-oneesama post said it the best; Butterfly should’ve been Emotion and Peacock should’ve been Desire. I know that Zoe has a limit on what canon she changes for her comic which I respect/appreciate given the thought she puts into it (even when canon’s various nonsensical magic rules are especially grating like this) but how do you think things would’ve gone in-show if this was the setup from the get-go? On that note, do you think it’s a good setup for canon in the first place? Why or why not?

This is going to be a rather long lecture on lore and world building and how the peacock fails on every level, so before we get into that, let's start with the positives. I saw a few people pointed out the Desire idea - that being that the peacock's associated Force should have been Desire while the butterfly got Emotions - and I think that they're absolutely right. That one tiny change does fix the surface level issues and make the peacock make sense for its larger role in the narrative.

It would complicate the whole magical slave thing and also mean that you probably have to rework a few of the minor sentimonsters, but generally speaking, it makes way more sense for Desire to birth a fully realized human being. The sentipeople being people while also coming from a single emotion will always be total BS in my eyes.

At the same time, I blame no one for just sticking to canon's lore. Reworking the lore is a serious thing and even I only do it when I'm telling a lore-heavy story. There are plenty of stories where I just stick to canon's nonsense because the lore isn't important.

Now that we've done our positives, let's getting into the negatives! The issue of the day is this: changing the Force from Emotions to Desire doesn't solve the larger problems with the peacock. Problems that we'll now get into. Buckle up, this is gonna be a long one.

Issue 1: Power Diversity

While I would not call myself a superhero expert, I have seen a good deal of superhero and magical girl team shows in my time. Most of you probably have. If you think about the power sets that we see in those shows, then you'll notice that one thing is pretty much always true: every power is unique OR the powers are all closely related in some way. You never do both because the two concepts don't mix. It makes no sense for half of the characters to have totally unique powers while the other half have copies unless there's some sort of special thematic reason for this like siblings sharing a power.

Without that sort of explanation, it just feels weird and it also makes the characters feel redundant. You don't need two speedsters or two supermen! One is enough. Heck, Avatar the Last Airbender takes place in a world where whole civilizations have the same power and they STILL didn't duplicate powers for the core team because they understood that it's important to keep the characters unique.

Miraculous is pretty obviously supposed to be the type of show where the powers don't overlap. Every character gets a unique power that's uniquely suited to them. We even have this confirmed in universe during that confusing scene in the episode Destruction where Orikko - the rooster - tries to explain how his powers work:

Orikko: No, you're mistaken! Time travel is Fluff's power and I can't grant the power that already belongs to another Kwami!

This brings us to the problem with the peacock: it is not a unique power. It's derivative on multiple levels.

Derivation Level One: Akumas

The first and most obvious level is how similar sentimonsters are to akumas. In terms of how they're normally used in the narrative, they're pretty much the exact same power to the point that you literally can't tell which one you're dealing with until someone tells you. The narrative uses them interchangeably with some episodes using an akuma, some using a sentimonster, and some using both.

In fact, I thought that it was really weird that Gabriel didn't switch to maining sentimonsters back in season four. You had akumas breaking their bonds left and right, which is a thing that sentimonsters literally cannot do, making them the obvious fix to this new problem.

To really highlight the whole "indistinguishable power" issue, allow me to highlight some dialogue from Kuro Neko to show that this is very much an in-universe problem:

Cat Walker: You think that's Cat Noir? Ladybug: Of course it's Cat Noir! He must've been akumatized because he regrets having given up his Miraculous!

Ladybug: You'll see once we deakumatize him. (She runs towards Kuro Neko.) Cataclysm his bell, I'm sure that's where the akuma is! Cat Walker: Hang on! (follows her) Ladybug, what if that's a sentimonster? If I use my power on him, he'll lose control and become more dangerous!

Cat Walker: (cringes) What I mean is you're right to doubt, and I agree with you. Until we know for sure whether we're dealing with a sentimonster or someone who's been akumatized, we shouldn't make any brash decisions. (Kuro Neko leaps away.) Let's find out more.

This sort of confusion should be impossible unless it's the result of clever planning by the villain, but that's not what we're dealing with here. Kuro Neko was not about Gabriel tricking the heroes. He sent out a normal sentimonster having no idea that Chat Noir had just quit. And yet Ladybug had no idea that this was a sentimonster. She looked at it and saw an akuma.

Cat Walker also didn't know that it was a sentimonster. He just knew that it wasn't Chat Noir, which was probably the only reason that he thought to question Ladybug and warn her to be cautious. They only realize that it's a sentimonster once they learn that there's a child inside it.

This is canon accidentally telling us that akumas and sentimonster are just straight up indistinguishable unless you see then made or do some experiments to figure out what you're dealing with. That's not a good look if your claiming that each miraculous grants a unique power. It is, however, a great lead in to the second power that the peacock copies: the power of illusions.

Derivation Level Two: Illusions

I said above that it should take careful planning for a sentimonster to be confused with an akuma. While we never see that type of carefully planned setup, we do see sentimonsters used to successfully impersonate humans on several occasions. One example is the episode Optigami which gave us SentiNino and SentiAlec. Seemingly perfect clones of Nino and Alec who did whatever Shadow Moth told them to. We even see a scene where Shadow Moth is telling SentiAlec exactly what to say.

You know who else gives us this type of scene? Rena Furtive in Rocketear:

Ladybug: You said that if Nino could have heard what you were saying, there'd be no misunderstanding? Rena Furtive: Absolutely! Ladybug: How well do you remember what you guys said on the balcony? Rena Furtive: Every. Word. Ladybug: Do you think you could make... a sound illusion? Rena Furtive: Totally.

Is there any doubt in your mind that the peacock can do anything that the fox can do? What's even worse is that the peacock does illusions better than the fox! Fox illusion vanish in a puff of smoke if you touch them. SentiNino was real enough to wield a miraculous because he was a fully corporeal illusion that would have kept on going if he hadn't been snapped away. This brings us to derivation level three: the power of creation.

Derivation Level Three: Creation

The peacock doesn't just outshine the fox, it outshines the ladybug! Lucky charms vanish as soon as Ladybug detransforms. Sentimonsters last forever. The ladybug is only useful in battle as it requires a super villain to cast its cure (which is asinine, but let's not get into that here). The peacock can be used at any time. The ladybug doesn't give you what you want, it just gives you a puzzle to solve. The peacock can fulfill your deepest desires and even create life.

Outside of the extremely specific circumstances that the show gives us - aka an ongoing battle with a super villain - the ladybug is kind of useless. If you want the power of Creation, you're going to use the peacock. This brings us to our second main issue: power balancing.

Issue Two: Power Balancing

The ladybug and the black cat are supposed to be the two most powerful miraculous in existence, but it really doesn't feel like that's true. Sure, if you put them together they rewrite the universe, but that's not part of their individual base power sets. At an individual level, they don't actually feel all that powerful when compared to the butterfly and the peacock. It's more like Marinette and Adrien are smart enough to make their very limited powers work while Gabriel and Nathalie are dancing along easy street and making fools of themselves with every step.

I've mentioned before that I can forgive the butterfly's overpowered nature because this is an episodic show. They want each episode's fight to be unique and interesting and so we have to give them room to have one power set that should be an insta-win card, but isn't because plot.

I can give them that grace once. I cannot give it to them twice.

There is no reason why both the butterfly and the peacock need to feel more powerful than the supposed most powerful miraculous in existence. I've even talked to one person who is rewriting canon with the assumption that the peacock and the butterfly ARE the most powerful ones because they are! Nothing proves this better than the fact that they've both made creations that can copy the powers of the ladybug and the black cat (see: Copycat, Strikeback, Ladybug, Sandboy, Miraculer, and probably a few others that I'm forgetting).

They're also the only miraculous that don't require an active user. You can create a sentimonster or an akuma, then detransform and have a snack while your creation does whatever you need it to do. That's so incredibly broken and such a terrible move in terms of power balancing. Either have all of the powers require active users or, at the very least, have more of a mix of active and passive powers. Why do Mirage, Shelter, and Lucky Charm vanish when their caster's detransform while akumas and amoks stick around? There is no in-universe logic to explain this. It works this way because that's what the writers needed these miraculous to do. A fact that makes it impossible to get invested in the lore of this show.

When designing a complex magic system, you generally don't want "because plot" to be the only answer to why things work they way they do. You want your magic system to feel real and organic to the world. That's how fictional worlds come to life! If Miraculous' magic system was well designed, then you could take it and use it to tell a wildly different story set in the same universe, but you can't. Everything about it is designed around making canon's story work and not around making an immersive world that you can almost believe exists.

There are stories that I wouldn't hold to that standard, but they're mostly short form stories. Anything as big and complex as Miraculous needs to have a solid lore system backing it or else you lose all sense of stakes. A great example of this is the Bunnyx problem where you know that she can show up at any time and reset the timeline even if things are happening in her own past, so why do we need to worry about bad things happening? And how are the ladybug and the black cat the most powerful ones when you have nonsense like time travel and the power to create human-like creatures? Early canon lore was decently solid, but the longer the show goes, the more nonsense the lore gets and that makes me sad because I love good lore.

Some Final Thoughts

You may have noticed that I didn't really talk about the sentikid issue in this post. That's because my dislike of the peacock came long before that fun little twist. While sentiAdrien is yet another great reason to dislike the peacock, it didn't need to be a thing for the peacock to be a terrible idea. Take away the sentikids and you still have an incredibly derivative and lore-breaking power set that never should have made it into the show.

I actually completely redesigned the peacock for my own rewrite which I start plotting back when I was first watching season three, long before sentiAdrein was even on my radar. That's not something that I usually do in my fix it stuff. I usually try to stick close to canon and make more minor tweaks, but the peacock is so fundamentally world breaking that I had no choice but to do a total overhaul. This is already an incredibly long post, so I won't go into that here. I'll save it for another ask that's sitting in my inbox. I'll schedule them to post back to back.

For this post, I'll just end by pointing out that switching the peacock to Desire makes it derivative of and arguably better than the pig, too, since the pig can only tease you with what you want. The peacock actually gives it to you. In fact, I'd say that the peacock may be a better pig even without the switch!

You can also argue that the peacock is better than or at least equal to the rooster and the goat because they're also just variations of the butterfly and the ladybug's power. Like there is legitimatly potential in taking those miraculous and doing an AU where each Kwami's power is an aspect of creation because the powers are so awkwardly intertwined. Probably make the peacock the master and all others spawn from that one or something like that.

Anyway, this is why you can't design powers around characters if you want good lore and a large team! You have to start with the powers and go from there! It's why I edit Nino's character to be more of a protector since that's his supposed True Force! Also because I want him to be more narratively important but that is a rant for another day.

[aroaceleovaldez]

idk if youve talked about it before, but have you thought about what deified nico would be the god of? i love deified nico its inevitable canon for him imo because his papa promised him hed do it and he would never lie to his beloved only son!!! ive just always been a little stumped on what he would have dominion over personally, i feel like you could go a lot of directions with it (especially given a lot of greek/roman gods have multiple things attributed to them and all) so id love to hear any of your takes on it if you have them!

I have a little bit! I have a couple of ideas for him, mostly along the lines of: god of outcasts, self-sacrifice, unseen efforts, reprieve from suffering, perseverance, and maybe nontraditional family structures. and of course dandelions as one of his sacred symbols.

my big thing with deified Nico is that I want him to occupy a niche that both fits him and doesn't overlap too much with any deities but that's obviously difficult to find, so that list is the best i've managed so far. My thought process with it is that it's the kind of theme of things in the shadows/seeing & acknowledging the unseen or unappreciated, since Nico has so many themes relating to shadows and seeing/recognizing/interacting with the normally imperceptible or ignored. Just lots of little fun stuff of him recognizing and uplifting people/noble acts normally overlooked. And of course dandelions as his symbol both for the time Persephone turned him into one but also cause they make for a fun symbol of perseverance.

I do also like to play around a lot though with Nico having connections to Zagreus (since in Zagreus' mythos a major aspect for him is that he died and may have reincarnated into Dionysus), ergo me giving Nico's deified form horns a lot of the time.

[sysmedsaresexist]

Hello there!

Im coming from a place of genuine curiosity; I have a genuine interest in Psychology but im still very new to the topic. At the same time I have multiple friends who are Plural, ranging from DID to Endogenic and I have been trying to learn to better understand em but also myself.

I am a bit confused with regards to certain stances or understanding what you are trying to imply, I apologize if this is something you've made obvious in the past.

You've done a 180 from your old Anti-Endo stance yet looking through some posts I feel like a lot of evidence you share would be against Endogenic Plurality no? Mind ya I know your focus is still mainly CDD systems so there wouldn't be much opportunities to share research on that, but im regardless confused at what appears to me like a back and forth on the validity of Endogenic and the stance the Plural community has on including multiple systems under its umbrella... or am I misunderstanding some things? (I do struggle with sarcasm so apologies).

Apologies should this come off as confrontational, im just a bit confused reading through the various posts.

You're not coming off as confrontational! Though I'm not completely sure I understand the question. I'm going to try my best!

The beliefs of the mods on this blog vary. We all have different ideas about how CDDs work and what's possible in and outside of them. This makes us a really great team for tackling some of the more complicated questions where we can showcase a few different opinions.

I think, generally, we're in agreement about a few core things.

CDDs are childhood trauma disorders. That won't change. That's just a fact. This is in the DSM.

In my opinion, CDDs are not plural and should NOT be included under the plural umbrella. I think lumping a traumatized and disordered group of individuals under an umbrella specifically meant for non disordered experiences is a bad idea. TPA, I'm looking at you telling CDD systems they're not allowed to have personhood for benefitting from a medical view.

Some of this shit hurts. Like not just hurts the CDD community, but it's a punch to the gut.

Also, in my opinion, and living comfortably alongside that, plural and CDD experiences overlap for some people, but this isn't universal and shouldn't be treated as such. It does happen, though, and those experiences are valid and should be respected. I don't go into conversations looking to change minds or prove someone is traumagenic, I'm genuinely interested in hearing about people's experiences and trying to reconcile my own beliefs and ideas with new information. Occasionally, this is a mutual exchange of ideas, and minds DO change. Sometimes mine, sometimes theirs. This isn't a case of turning pros to antis or vice versa with gotchas, though. I've shifted my mindset from arguing to simply sharing as much information as I possibly can. Everyone should be armed with all the accessible information. These arguments would be a lot less volatile if we all had access to the same base articles and info.

In my opinion, there's still a lot of rampant misinformation in pro/endo communities. TPA makes me want to tear my hair out.

My belief in this needed separation does nothing to invalidate endogenic systems, and doesn't say they can't exist. The misinformation I'm talking about isn't their existence.

I think I'm actually the only blog to have a post dedicated to links about the Stanford tulpa studies. I could be wrong, but I don't think anyone else compiled them for easy access and linking.

My blog is still focused on CDD research and correcting some of the myths and misinformation, but I don't think this invalidates endogenic plurality in any way.

I do, on occasion, post research into endogenic systems, but that isn't my focus. I would actually say my focus has shifted to interacting with anti endos to introduce them to some of the ideas that helped open my mind.

I am NOT the most pro endo system on this platform, but I am pro endo--

And I am trying to act as that bridge between communities with the best intentions possible. I know, I know, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but I... ultimately hope that in the end, I help both communities, in my own unique way.

At the very least, I don't want to cause more harm for either community.

My unique way, though, does not discount the existence of plurality, it's just not my focus, and I'm still battling basic misinformation in the process, which can get... messy. At times.

I hope this answers the question, genuinely, feel free to come back to talk more!

[ggyzmio]

DINOSAUR KING OC BECAUSE YEAAAAAAAAAAAA

Putting the story under "read more" because it is loNG-

Riley (She/Her)

Riley is a new addition to the D-Team. She is a classmate of the team and stumbled upon their mission to save the dinosaurs. While they tried to protect her from harm, she got caught in the dinosaur fight against Alpha Gang's Carcharodontosaurus. After its defeat, the cards fell near her location and she snatched them and ran to her classmates. Alpha Gang was defeated and Max asked her to hand over the cards, as they would take good care of the dinosaur. However, Riley refused and said she would keep the cards, and that the only way to "get them" is to let her join their team. After some arguing, D-Team agreed to let her join, and made her a dino holder with a substitute for the elemental stone made by Reese.

Riley made the Carcharodontosaurus her partner and named him Charlie.

----

After the Black Tyranosaurus Rex experiment failed, Seth set his eyes on something stronger. With the help of the Space Pirates, he played God once again, this time making a completely new dinosaur - a hybrid. A mixture between the Deinonychus, and a T Rex. The Indominus Rex. He made a lot of modifications to its genes, so it would be even stronger than the Black Rex.

While battling Seth and his new horrifying creation, the D-Team noticed that the creature seemed to be in pain with every movement. It got confused multiple times during the fight and its gums were bleeding constantly, its teeth digging into its own mouth anytime it closed its massive jaws.

After defeating Seth, they got the creature's cards and quickly took the animal to Dr. Drake. The Indominus had to go through multiple surgeries - trying to get rid of some of the teeth that were causing the mouth pain and bleeding, along with several medication to helps its pain. Dr. Drake also instructed her to wear a head cover like horses do, to minimize its vision whenever it started to feel too confused. The others wondered why, and he told them the animal had both normal and thermal vision, which lead to its confusion and headaches during their fight.

Riley took the animal in, naming her Indie, and she takes great care of her and makes sure her life is as pleasant as it can be, despite her conditions.

----

Charlie (Male)

Charlie is a very smart dinosaur and protects Riley at all costs. After they brought him back out of the card as a chibi, he noticed Riley's injuries from the fight prior and went to her to lick her wounds. Riley appreciated the gesture and Charlie's remorse. She hugged him and told him that it was okay. That made them inseparable partners. Charlie is a bit sneaky and a troublemaker, biting those he doesn't like and even getting into people's ways on purpose. But he's the sweatest when it comes to Riley.

Indie (female)

Indie is very shy and rarely leaves Riley and Charlie's side. Charlie is like a big brother to her. She is kept in her chibi form 90% of the time, as it prevents her from limb pain caused by her massive size and sped up growth during Seth's experiment. Though, she will fight for Riley if she senses she's in danger. When she gets headaches from her overlapping vision, Indie wears a head cover, so she could continue to play with her brother.

[hyper-coasters]

Announcement - Hiatus

Hi, I'm Logan, I am 22 years old trans man living in FL. I have become a full-time caretaker for my 55 year old disabled father after a major vehicle accident. My mother recently had open heart surgery, and I spent a month with her for preparation and recovery. My parents are not together, and actually live about 1.5 hours apart. I also lost my job about a month after the major hurricanes that hit central FL in 2024. I had missed the major Christmas time hiring, and much if central FL was still struggling as well at that point. Then come 2025, I began caring for my father more and more, though we lived apart. Then my mother had her heart attack, and I left to care for her. Then my father was in his accident. He was on a motorcycle on the highway, and collided with a semi truck and another vehicle. Both vehicles going 60-70 mph. This was also while he was on the other side of the state from me, outside of Orlando. His hospital was a 3.5-4 hour drive away from me, when I was unable to have a vehicle - also damaged during the hurricanes.

I have not been able to go to any parks nearly as much as I would have liked. I have some other photography from other events, or other things I happened to pass by and like. But I wasn't sure if anyone would be interested. Quite honestly, this is the most actively popular blog I have ever ran, and it was honestly really overwhelming at times. Between dealing with two stubborn adults who have traumatized me greatly(though we are working on forgiveness), and struggling with the rising cost of groceries, indurance issues, ambulance bill (note to other americans: turns out public insurance doesn't cover ambulance rides. glad i never needed one.), and other pop-up issues that love to rear their heads when youre already stretched thin, making all the appointments for them and myself, travel, I've just honestly been too exhausted to even look at the amount of notifications I have. It makes me worried I have upset people by disappearing. It makes me disappointed in myself because I have a ton of things in my drafts that just need to be tagged but i cant make myself do it because I'm just so tired. Especially now that I have a job. Its such a small thing. But i think i have around 50 photos dating all the way back to christmas town at BGT still sitting in my drafts. It ends up feeling just as tedious as trying to schedule doctors appointments for multiple people, while also remembering you need to make sure none of that allotted time ends up accidentally overlapping with each other, or work, or school, or balancing a relationship with your partner, and that you still need to work with and care for your animals, and chores, and it ends up being so much more time than you expect at first. You never realize how much longer it takes to get ready to do any of these things until you are trying to get yourself and another adult ready. This isnt to complain really, its not either of their faults, but I went from not having either parent really around except for short visits since i was 16. Were starting to get a routine down for outings, but it still takes a long time. Especially because my father still wants to try to be independent. But i cant leave him alone because he will fall and hurt himself (and according to his doctor should in fact not be doing half of what hes doing - but hes literally a foot taller than me and has at least 180 lbs on me, theres only so much i can stop him from doing when i still need to get other things done to take care of him)

I am not making this post to ask for donations or look for pity. This post is to explain my time away and that I have NOT lost my love for roller coasters. I simply have been extremely overwhelmed this year. Maybe I'm using this to vent a little bit. I just wanted to make a post talking about my experiences this year as a caretaker for another adult (especially one that tries to refuse help, only creating the cycle of getting hurt and needing MORE care) and how its effected my posting & me. I love my fiance and my friends who have been so helpful to hearing me vent, but I thought at this point of inactivity all the mutuals I used to talk to regularly and considered friends deserved an explanation too.

[falling-star-cygnus]

i started writing this right when my ear infection, my first one, was getting reeeally bad. then i got really into Etoile

anyway, what y'all are ACTUALLY here for:

Pause for Credits [they'll roll without me] <- {ao3 fic link} <- SUMMARY: Lu Guang meets the original Cheng Xiaoshi again, the one this whole loop started for. They have a conversation, maybe a hug, and Lu Guang maybe gets some goddamn comfort

+=+=+

This was wrong.

Sort of- maybe not wrong, but not.. right either. Everything was... bleached in a way. Fuzzy around the edges, to the touch. To the taste.

Overexposed.

Lu Guang ghosts his fingers over their [whose?] counter on his way in, only vaguely taking in the way they seem to mesh with the marble, the way they overlapped just slightly.

Maybe he was just seeing things.

Is this what it felt like to jump into a video? [see, into a video. Why would he jump?]

Everything was.. floaty. Untethered. Like his head was filled with cotton and warm memories and his tongue with familiar flavors of milk tea.

It felt nice. Too nice.

Too nice for someone like Lu Guang. Lu Guang, who clung to things until they bled. [but clung to what-?]

He keeps going, further into this daydream, until he makes it to where they've hung up snapshots of their life [whose life?]. These are fuzzy too, like sketches, but he feels a little like a sketch himself. So- it's fine.

They're even.

Red light seeps out from under their dark room door.

He keeps going.

Farther still around the corner, where the sun starts to leak onto tile. This room is more familiar, real, with its plants and comfy furniture. His hand leaves the wall.

This space wasn't real.

Lu Guang could tell that much, even with the fuzz in his head tempting him to sit down for a moment and drift. Their couch was too clean. Lacked the lingering patches of blood.

Unless...

He doesn't sit, but he does drag his fingers along the yellow cushions.

Perfectly soft, with just a hint of lemon. Warm.

It's instinct that draws him to look at his watch next, for the countdown he knows must be there even if he's not sure why. Only it's not. The numbers are jumbled, warped, into something unintelligible. Surreal.

Tapping at it doesn't help.

He moves on, much like a ghost, to the green chair. This is clean too.

Everything is clean, with no dust or tears or dying leaves or death. Even the tiles and window panes are sparkling.

Lu Guang tries not to dwell on how his reflections have no face.

His fingertips feel raw from trailing along the different materials, only exacerbated by the rough brick he feels up on his way to their stairs. Raw like they could split open and leave a line of blood.

Up and up, the stairs seem to stretch forever. Longer than what should be possible, than what he's used to. What he's counted.

1, 2, 3.. 4, 5, 6, 7...

There were still more to go.

When Lu Guang glances behind him, there's nothing to return to. A void.

He keeps going.

8, 9, 10, 11... 12.. 13... 14..

thump.

His legs don't burn, oddly enough, for having had to repeat their stairs twice. And bit by bit by the fuzz recedes, near completely gone by the time his foot hits solid wood.

My clothes have changed... Lu Guang thinks, almost idly. And they have, for the most part- he's wearing pants now, instead of shorts. Black ankle socks instead of the knee high ones. And this black shirt is his, but the white throw over is...

...huh. He can't remember..

Most of his shirts and sweaters belong to someone else, now that he thinks about it. But who?

The person he lives with, maybe? The reason he keeps referring to all this furniture and warmth as 'theirs' instead of his? Why can't he remember?

Maybe he just hasn't gone far enough yet.

A majority of the fuzz in his mind has cleared, allowing him to recognize that something is still being hidden from him. Maybe multiple somethings. Multiple people.

beep

A girl with choppy black hair.

beep

A model.. blond on top and amber-eyed.

beep

A man with a gun... he didn't like him.

beep

"I was wondering when I'd see you again," someone calls, from somewhere vaguely in front of him, "Lu Guang."

He looks up, hadn't even realized his head had bowed in the first place and there's a boy sitting right there. Right on the bottom bunk, with a smile so kind it stabs at something fragile in Lu Guang's chest. Something guarded.

He knows that smile. He'd know it anywhere.

So how could he have forgetten?

The boy, with silky black hair tugged in possibly the world's smallest ponytail, lowers his phone to beside his bent knee- his other leg dangling off in front of him. Lu Guang's watch reads 00:00.

"Cheng Xiaoshi?"

=+=+=

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?"

Cheng Xiaoshi cradles his catatonic best friend close to his chest, jaw twitching with both anger and venom. Lu Guang was completely out of it, limp as a fucking ragdoll-

"Relax..." their client soothes, her dreamy voice exactly not what he needs right now, "He's completely fine."

Fine!?

"He's unconscious!"

Lu Guang's breaths puff against the underside of his jaw, from where he's got one hand supporting his neck and the other brushing his hair up and away.

They never should've taken this stupid job, Cheng Xiaoshi knew something was off about this lady. Knew and he didn't say anything and now Lu Guang was dying-

Dying from what he's not entirely sure yet, but no one who's healthy's eyes just roll into the back of their head!

"He's resting," the lady corrects, frustratingly collected.

"What did you do to him?" Cheng Xiaoshi asks again, the slowly growing cold weight in his arms the only thing preventing him from lunging at her.

Gentle, he had to be so so gentle.

She must know this too, because all she does is tut softly at him. Amused. He wants to punch her.

"I told you already.. I gave him the gift of closure."

"But what does that mean? Couldn't you just pay us in yuan instead? You know, like a normal client?"

Seriously, who just went around knocking people out as payment!? Okay well- the Triad families did, but that was a more... 'you cross us and you pay' kinda payment.

Lu Guang hadn't done anything except find her stupid cat.

Which, of course, was purring away on her owner's lap without a care in the goddamn world.

"You'll see when he wakes up.. probably."

Something cold weighs down on his chest, like a brick made of ice, one that pressed its blunt corners against the inside of his skin and tried to stretch him out.

Her hand reaches out for his best friend's forehead, like she had any right to touch him.

He tries to smack her hand away- but she apparently can't take a fucking clue because it doesn't deter her. Lu Guang didn't like strangers touching him, didn't even like them looking at him, so goddamn it Cheng Xiaoshi wouldn't let her do it again.

"Oh thank you! Thank you so much," the client sobbed, taking her cat in her arms like a baby.

That was cute. When people treated their animals like humans.

Lu Guang had done that with Elizabeth, in the short time they'd had her. That cat had lived the HIGH life. Well- anyone that got to cuddle Lu lived the high life.

He wanted to cuddle Lu Guang. If that- if that wasn't obvious. Was that obvious? Probably.

The satisifed client spoke up again, after maybe two straight minutes [Lu liked specific numbers] of petting her cat's tummy: "Thank you, truly... let me give you a gift."

"That won't be necessary," his pale friend tried to decline, but the lady was already up in his space. Cheng Xiaoshi rushes forward, even as something in his gut told him he wouldn't make it in time.

And he didn't- because she'd already pressed two fingers to his forehead.

"My gift to you is one of closure," the lady's voice was weird as she said it, layered and echoey. Her fingers drag down Lu Guang's nose and pull away.

He'd dropped like a stone. Granted- Cheng Xiaoshi would never let him hit the floor if he could help it, it was dusty and cold and awful and Lu didn't deserve that, so really he fell more like a damsel but.. you know.

Semantics.

Point is, he couldn't stop her from knocking his best friend out, but he can stop her from touching him further.

So he does. Cheng Xiaoshi pulls Lu Guang into his shoulder with one hand and uses his other to grip her grabby wrist. It's not tight enough to hurt, of course, but it could be. If she didn't back off-

"What do you mean probably," he demands, fraught and angry.

"He doesn't seem like the sharing type, s'all. Like he's got lots of secrets."

Which is an infuriatingly unbothered response from someone who just put the most important person in his life in a coma.

But ...ugh..

She's also not wrong. Lu Guang was not, in fact, the sharing type. And he did have a lot of secrets.

She could've phrased it better though... his mind whispers, like a petulant child needing the last word.

"When he wakes up, you better be gone."

"Fair enough."

+=+=+

"That's me~!"

Cheng Xiaoshi, because who else could all that warmth possibly belong to, looks at Lu Guang like he's something worth seeing. Like Lu Guang hadn't killed him with his mere presence and forced him to relive the loop over and over-

Two warm, calloused palms cup his face. When had he gotten so close?

"You look... so tired." his best friend breathes out, mournfully soft as his thumb brushes the peach soft skin under his muderer's eye.

Lu Guang can barely swallow.

"Let's catch up," Cheng Xiaoshi prompts, gentle gentle gentle.

Too much, too much. toomuchtoomuch-

Numbly, the pale-haired boy can feel himself nodding. This Cheng Xiaoshi, the first- the original- is more filled out than the one he has now. Burdened with smaller scars Lu Guang had learned to avoid.

Softer with love Lu Guang didn't let himself feel. [that was a lie. no matter how much he forced himself, loving this man might as well be a node]

His touch was warm on his face, alive, and constant, and fuzzy, and-

"I'm sorry," he sobs, unbidden and raw and abrupt because he might not get another chance, "I'm so sorry."

As kind as ever, as forgiving as ever- even to the undeserving- the photographer cocks his head to the side. One dark brow rises playfully.

"You always blamed yourself for the weirdest things, Guang Guang," he laughs- laughs- and bumps their foreheads together, "What are you apologizing for, huh? Living?"

What? No- maybe?

If he had died then maybe-

bonk

Lu Guang reels back as far as Cheng Xiaoshi will let him, gripping his sturdy [sturdy- sturdy, not dying] wrists, "Ow-"

"Don't you dare," his best friend snarls at him, thrusting their heads together again- somehow even harder, "Do you hear me, Lu Guang? Don't you dare-"

But how could he not? How many times now had he held Cheng Xiaoshi's dying body now?

How many times did he have to keep doing it?

Why couldn't he understand? If Lu Guang had just died in instead-

"There's not a single timeline where I would've been better off without you!"

"YOU HAD A FAMILY WAITING FOR YOU!" Lu Guang has never been one to raise his voice if he could help it- that had long been beaten out of him- but he needed his friend to understand.

More than anything, he needed Cheng Xiaoshi to understand that he wasn't not alone. That he'll never be alone if the time traveler could help it and-

"AND YOU'RE A PART OF IT!"

Cheng Xiaoshi seems to lose his wind at the same time his words punch it out of his friend's chest, his gentle hands sliding down to to rest upon scrawny shoulders. Around a wartorn upper back.

Until their chests are crushed together, until the time traveler can cling tight enough to bleed.

"Please, Lu Guang.. you're a part of it." he says again, so so softly, "You've always been a part of it."

"How can you say that!?" it was infuriatingly on brand, infuriatingly the man he loved- "Do you even know what I've done-"

There was more blood on his hands than in their couch, than in their floorboards or hair or history. Or veins. Blood he doesn't regret spilling.

Cheng Xiaoshi doesn't let him wriggle far, but their eyes meet once more. Grey and warm warm brown. A scared animal meets its home.

"There are pieces of myself that I can't bring back."

Pieces of himself he can no longer remember, faces he'll never again be able to identify. His name is not his, but rather something he learns each loop. His age.

His original hair color. His favorite foods. What lies within a good book.

The noose around Cheng Xiaoshi's neck is bright red, and Lu Guang holds tight to the other end.

He clung to things until they bled, until they became one under his nails and until it was time to cut into himself and offer his own meager bones.

"You haven't lost anything," the photographer says firmly, offers without the kindness of refusal.

His hand is no less gentle when it raises Lu Guang's head.

"...what?"

"You haven't lost anything!" Cheng Xiaoshi says again, thumbing away tears the pale-haired boy hadn't realized begun to fall, "Every 'piece' you don't think you have.. I'll always know them!"

"You really are an idiot," bubbles out of his chest hysterically, "what are you-"

"You're the idiot!" he snaps, and Lu Guang's mouth snaps shut, "Suffering alone when I'm right here- when I can help."

Lu Guang finds he can't say anything at all to that- and even if he could, Cheng Xiaoshi barrels on before he has a chance to anyway.

"Your name is Lu Guang," he says, as sure as the sun rising, "You're twenty years old, twenty-one in October. Your hair used to be black, just like mine."

Slowly, the photographer walks them backwards- towards the stairs with the blurry portraits.

Red is not a color to dread anymore, not here, and instead it's reminescent of long nights painting nails and short lived hairstyles. It's the color that ties his heart to Cheng Xiaoshi's, even as this false world splinters around them.

"You hate spicy food," his soulmate says, his laugh wet on the edges, "You always switch our plates when you get it."

Red is the color that spreads over his cheek and ears and nose.

"You love mangas that have sweet endings, where no one dies, and I get why now."

Their time is coming to an end, Lu Guang knows. He can feel the fuzz from before creep back in, and he can feel the warmth of it flicker.

But this time..

"Lu Guang, I can't promise to stay by your side forever.. but I'll stay as long as I can. As long as you want me. I promise." it's not so different than what'd he himself had promised, and that stings at something in his ribs.

This time the warmth on his lips is sweet, as it bids him farewell. It's kind.

And it's goodbye. And maybe it's something new.

Lu Guang doesn't know if he'll ever be able to skirt death's premature clutches, or if he'll ever make it to an eternity of tranquility at his best friend's side.

But he knows, he's learning, that it will be okay anyway.

Because he's not carrying these pieces alone anymore, he's not losing them to cling to Cheng Xiaoshi.

He's intrinsically known. And he is loved.

And maybe he's earned it.

+=+=+

The body Cheng Xiaoshi holds is as cold as a stone.

It's terrifying, frankly, considering it's his best friend and he's still not responsive and he's only getting colder. Shit, shit, shit. Lu Guang hated the cold.

He thinks it has something to do with his very obvious lack of body mass and general... lack of vitamins. Or maybe it was just instinct to hide his bony frame from leering eyes.

Either way, the cold sucked and that's why Cheng Xiaoshi found himself wrapping the pale boy up in his jacket.

And rocking him gently against his chest.

Alright, he didn't want to let go!

The dreamy lady from before had taken off before things had really taken a turn for the worse. Smartly, because if she had kept talking him in circles he thinks he might've claimed one of her teeth as a trophy.

Weren't superpowers supposed to be rare? Why did everybody and their mother seem to have them lately..

'Gift of closure' what the hell did that mean?

Lu Guang was still so cold.. like a corpse. NOT going down that rabbit hole! Nope! Like a normal, cold, alive human!

Heh... heh.. he clears his throat.

Maybe Cheng Xiaoshi should move them to the downstairs couch? It would be more comfortable, and maybe warmer. But also you weren't supposed to move people that had brain injuries, he thought.

Or was that- spine injuries?

Was it all injuries!?

AGH, what was he supposed to do!?

Lu Guang was the one that dealt with this stuff. Or Qiao Ling. But neither of them were here right now.. and his phone was out of reach. So what was the next best step?

Turns out, the next best step is staying on the floor.

His best friend rouses slowly, but he rouses and that's what it's important. Sleepy, kitten grey eyes carefully blink open- around the same time he'd resorted to try rubbing warmth back into catatonic lanky limbs with his bare hands.

"Lu Guang?" and that's all he gets out before his lapful of best friend turns into an armful.

Lanky arms wrap around his shoulders like he's trying to hide from rain- shaking to match as his fluffy white hair tickles his nose.

And what else can he do but hold on just as tight?

"Why are we on the floor?" his best friend mumbles, very characteristically he might add. More in character then say- curling into his arms.

"Uh- because you passed out?"

Did he forget...? DID HE HAVE A HEAD INJURY!?

"Oh." Lu Guang sighs, "Right... you caught me..?"

Cheng Xiaoshi tucks his nose into that soft cloud of hair, and tucks his arms around a skinny back- burdened by too many secrets.

It's amazing, how he can literally feel the tension melt out of him.

"Of course I did."

[allwormdiet]

Interlude 7

Hi Miss Militia, sorry your superpower is just being a living weapon

No dancing around on this one, huh, just straight into the meat of it

Is Kovan our first dead kid/teen in this story? I feel like the child violence is steadily increasing over time. Vista, the ABB conscripts, Dinah, now this.

Also this shit is brutal

Fuck.

Sometimes you just have that sudden, instinctual understanding that something bad is nearby. Not usually something so devastating as a pit trap or landmine, but just that moment of the hindbrain screaming at you that something's not right.

Hey fucker, you sure showed up early, huh

So. Fucked up geometric crystalline entity that exists in multiple overlapping states or realities at once. Piece of it comes off and impacts her, bada bing bada boom she has powers and, conveniently, no recollection of the vision.

Ladies, gentlemen, and those of you who know better, cosmic horror has entered the chat, and it's giving out free goodies to unsuspecting participants

Crystal Superpower Cthulhu legitimately looked at this child and was like "oh I know how to turn the circumstances of your trauma into a superpower! I'm just going to give you Gun."

This feels a lot more on the nose than it's been for everyone else so far, but what do I know

Yeah here we go

"Good news, you never have to sleep again. Bad news, your brain will be on at all times and when you try to shut it off you will remember the worst day of your life in fucking IMAX quality"

Also feels very appropriately sinister that nobody can remember Crystal Superpower Cthulhu except in dreams of their trigger event, if you can even call it a dream.

Wow! Even more reason to doubt the Wards program, huh? They just dropped this kid into that life without her say-so and that cooked her for however long it took to graduate, at which point she obviously became a lifelong member.

Miss Militia is fully in it, huh? That's the kind of indoctrination you straight up can't pry yourself out of unless you have a damn good reason to suspect that's what's up, and it sounds like she never got that reason.

Yeah of course she's a dutiful little daughter and student and soldier. What else has she got? Not even the other kids from her hometown. Fuck me. Isolate and steep in the propaganda.

Oh no. Oh no she believes the American Dream exists. Oh Hana I'm so sorry, they just made that up to sell houses in the suburbs.

...Fuck, that's just it, isn't it. Hana was a victim of the grinding machinery of empire, and that was the pressure cooker situation that made her trigger. And now she's a component of a different, larger empire, grinding more of its targets into the same fuel that she almost became, but she doesn't even see it.

She didn't have a chance.

Speaking of chances. Hana, do you want to live in a world where God favors Kaiser as much as he favors you? Like that's just the problem of evil times a hundred.

Oh hey you two

Colin you have got to be careful what you wish for, man, you live in a world where superpowers are built off of fucking monkey's paw logic

Pity.

Haha uh oh

This is the first time we've heard Case 53 used, yeah? Same as Newter and Gregor? Hmm.

Now this is kind of an interesting conversation, having to figure out what the hell to do about what junior members you can or else have to give away

Okay so they know Shadow Stalker is trouble

...How much do they know beyond that, and how have they been dealing with her? Because I don't think it's working, and at least one person is just straight up not doing their job

I'd love to feel sorry for Armsmaster in this moment, but my dude is in desperate need of some fucking humility, and honestly I'm not sure he was ever meant to be in a leadership position. He just doesn't have the temperament for it.

So, first off, insane that the Endbringers are keyed in enough to human civilization to know what hurts most for them to target

Second off: Coil you stupid fucker your gun jumping on the Empire accelerated the entire city into apocalypse! Arrogant bastard wants to run Brockton Bay so bad that he just tripped and dropped his little city diorama all into a trash can full of rotting fish. Fucking jackass.

The Endbringers can bring media response into consideration for their attacks?? What the fuck kind of operation are these kaiju running?

Oh god fucking dammit.

Armsmaster is going to try and get his glory by killing an Endbringer.

Current Thoughts

Somebody needs to tell these people the genre of story that they're in for real. This isn't gritty sci-fi, this isn't something about the power of faith, this is about an alien intelligence using Earth and humanity for purposes that are, at best, utterly ambivalent to the ongoing existence of either of those things.

Also I feel a lot worse for Miss Militia but it seems like she hasn't reflected on like, any of her baggage beyond the most surface level stuff of "boy I'm sure fucking glad I'm not in that village anymore"

[aakaneeee]

SENDING YUINA ASKS HEHE

so about her weight, why is she so underweight? i have a feeling it's because of fasting but that's just a guess.

also, is she semi aware that what she might be doing is wrong? cuz the last line in her post, something something i shall repent and be forgiven, seems like she knows that she's partly wrong... idk wjxjsjskwjs

i see her as someone who believes that since she's the only one aware of a so called salvation that she is the only one who can 'save' people ig? but at the same time she's the only one that can be saved because the rest are pitiful. or maybe that's just some sort of cover up? like she's partly guilty but believes that she will be saved, at least hopes so.

SORRY THIS IS SO LONG IWJXKWJ IM EXCITED TO SEE WHAT DIRECTION HER CHARACTER WOULD GO!

I cannot explain how much I love thisvdhshsh. I feel like you read all my drafts before writing the third paragraph

She doesn't feel bad about what she's doing, she just knows that she is sinning, but she considers that it's for the greater good and because she is 'special', she is allowed to and will eventually be forgiven, no matter the extent, because she's propagating what is Holy, and stopping people from going against the Ten Commandments (especially the "You shall have no other Gods", since she's against the fact other people find Gods in eachother, and yes, she is a hypocrite for practically making herself a God, or atleast a sent one).

She does, actually, believe that she is meant to preach salvation, because only she can understand it directly. Considering a lot of prayers, she probably acknowledges her sins (I don't know the prayers in English), a lot of them going on about how they've sinned, and even though she isn't guilty, she does feel the need to repent. So I guess she knows its wrong, but also contradicts herself? She is a very contradictory character in general, a lot of her actions and ideals overlap, she's definetly a strange one. She wants the others to be saved, but at the same time, she sees them as pitiful, she thinks they've done too many deadly sins, but tries to get them on the right path anyways. In a way, she does care about others, but more so "pity", rather than actual care. "Yuina" means to tie or to bind (japanese) so she sees herself as a way to bind people togheter into her religion.

About the underweight part, there are multiple factors to it. First of all, she practices Black Fast (Christian method of fasting where one doesn't consume water or food throughout the day, then prays, and then eats only food that is vegetarian (no eggs, dairy, meat or alcohol) and the actual not eating part can go on for multiple days), but also fasting in general. Second, in a lot of depictions, saints are portrayed as thin (atleast in the branch I am most familiar with), so she thinks that image is Holy, and a proof of her faith, so she keeps herself that way.

[glow-wine]

Re: Arondir

2x8 spoilers obviously

The Rings of Power generally suffers from having to balance so many different storylines, which also advance at very different paces and aren't always equally exciting. It's a problem that the Gandalf subplot has not at all overlapped with any of the other storylines FOR TWO SEASONS. These characters do not even know of each other's existence.

In Season 1, the most engaging storyline for me was the Southlands stuff. The stakes were high and felt that way, too, since all the characters were original creations, their fate not predictable, the threat was tangible. As this storyline's protagonist, Arondir was pretty much constantly fighting to survive or to save others, and he often failed simply because the odds were so high. His dynamic with Adar was interesting and felt like it was setting up something. Arondir watched Adar grieve for a dead orc and became the first (and for the duration of Season 1, the only) character to see that emotional side of Adar. They were both doing the seed planting ritual before a battle, a deliberate paralleling of the two characters.

In Season 2, those same key moments were replicated with Galadriel, setting up the same kind of dynamic between Adar and Galadriel. Meanwhile, Arondir is ... handled weirdly. Frankly, Season 2 uses him like a cheat code: Isildur needs saving? Arondir! Galadriel needs help? Arondir! He's the action guy, who does action things. Oh, he also wants revenge against Adar for Bronwyn and everything else, but this part of the storyline isn't even half-assed, it's quarter-assed at best. He just goes up against him and gets stabbed in 2x7. But only mildly stabbed, I suppose, because the injury isn't even brought up in 2x8, he doesn't share any further scenes with Adar, does not even comment on his death. He's given no room for his personal feelings, and his character arc is a mere sketch. He's purely a supporting character as soon as he is surrounded by the "important" canonical Elves. It's not very satisfying, not very good storytelling.

And I wonder if the original plans for these characters were anything like this. Supposedly Bronwyn only died because the actress quit, so was Arondir meant to stay with the Southland refugees? Was he meant to go after Adar for some reason other than revenge? I did not think it boded well that Bronwyn wasn't recast; obviously removing this character didn't impact the overall plans all that much, and the writers didn't worry about how her death would affect and change Arondir's story. I mean, he's lost his love interest and his personal antagonist was essentially taken from him and assigned to Galadriel. All Arondir is left with is some badass action scenes and a few nice moments here and there, but it doesn't come together in the end. It just fizzles out. What's his story?

Overall, I don't think The Rings of Power has handled its original characters all that well. Not really a surprise, because the show is telling too many storylines at once, and simply doesn't have enough time to develop original characters as well. But think of the elves who briefly journey with Elrond and Galadriel, how they are non-entities and you do not even learn their names until their "shocking" death scenes. The black guy dies first, too! With that in mind, I guess Arondir is lucky to be alive, even if he's relegated to the status of a supporting character without significant relaionships or goals of his own.

Honestly, I'm not even that suprised or disappointed. I found it hard to get into The Rings of Power Season 2 right after watching Interview with the Vampire, because that show is so much better at writing characters and developing complex relationships. Surely part of the reason is that it's just a much more personal story with a smaller cast. Fallout was another positive example of a TV show handling multiple storylines/main characters more successfully than ROP, again a smaller cast and more focused writing, and a season finale that involves everyone in meaningful ways, which Rings of Power has failed to do twice now.

I'm sorry if this rant was incoherent or if there are typos, I don't feel like rereading and editing it, lol. I could also go on and on and ON! But it's way past noon, I'm still in my pyjamas and starting to feel grimy, so I need a shower.

[cdlikesstories]

A very long UTDR Theory

I think I figured out something, or at least cleared out some subconsciously-aware-but-not-fully-established connections regarding UT&DR(, which I have a feeling some of the utdr community knows already and I'm figuring this out just now, but imma still post to clear my thoughts for a bit).

Remember how the Undertale official website says Deltarune is intended for ppl who's fully finished playing Undertale, and that Toby Fox made Undertale as an introduction game to Deltarune, and the 2 games can't be seen as mutually exclusive?

I feel like I understand these 2 statements a bit more now, what I think Toby is saying is that, 

The whole of Undertale is The TutorialTM for Deltarune.

There is another reason(besides color theory) why battle encounters are in black and white, Undertale itself is a relatively very black-and-white morals and rules kinda game.

Everything's very clean-cut, it's either right or wrong, righteous or evil, etc etc. just like what you would see in a children's book or a children's mindset.

But in Deltarune, there's no black&white battle encounters anymore, or at least not much of black and white places, because similar to a teen's mindset, it's more developed/enriched & grown up to be able to see the world in more different shades of colors, hence the colorful battle encounters.

You are also technically told you're given more freedom but reality tells you it's actually quite limited (examples: Jevil in a cage thinking he's free, Spamton bound to strings of someone else's control and getting even more trapped from resisting, Kris's whole soul-controlled-by-player situation, Susie denying the choice option twice), just the vibe one gets when exploring expanded range of choices, learning & dealing with its following consequences.

Think of Undertale as a children's story book, for children like Frisk's age, to understand basic concepts;

while Deltarune is kinda the early teen novels, for Kris's age, to understand more advanced concepts.

But then why is this important for what's happening in both games? Why does it matter?

Toby's using Undertale to teach us how to play Deltarune.

Remember how in all 3 types of routes, Flowey, Sans, & Chara(coincidentally red&yellow&blue colored) all have something important to say directly to the player, not Frisk?

 They are the 3 Messengers, or, the 3 Big Blaring, Warning Signs who carries the messages/warnings sent from Toby Fox to the Player.

And the most prominent message that all 3 convey is this: You are not above consequences in his games/fictional worlds. All actions have consequences, and you have been fairly warned, multiple times(e.g. Chara's whole appearance sequence in Geno route & the photo post-Geno Pacifist route,  Sans' judgments & phonecalls & diner meetings,  Flowey's tips about what could be done to achieve Pacifist route after Neutral runs & the talk about how Sans gave him a bad time for being cruel in previous resets not unlike a time police; in short, the signs were always there in all routes).

And the game Knows what you are in the dark.

There is also a slightly more specific message per each character: 

Flowey: You are given the freedom to make choices in this(my) world(especially the power to Save, Load, Reset &/ Maim), but beware, your actions will have consequences.

Sans: If you treat us(my characters&world) with respect, you'll have an enjoyable journey as a reward. (Also that he embodies the "Don't forget"&"I'm with you in the dark(to watch over&on you)" side of Toby & his games)

Chara: But be warned, you will be punished for unnecessary cruelty via crap gameplay experience. The Choice is yours. =)

(Granted, the 3 characters technically overlap in some of the messages but these are what is most linked themes/message to the respective characters)

 Going into Deltarune,  The game in general(or Toby, in a way), tells us "your choices doesn't matter."

This is where the "Undertale sets up the groundwork for Deltarune" part comes into play: (yes, it was also to introduce you to some of the characters first so Toby doesn't hafta info dump you on whomst-the-fuk all these characters are, but that wasn't the only reason for it)

The choice has always(mostly, actually) been yours.

Then, do those choices matter?

The answer is both Yes and No, depending on how you view the question, as it is vague in a way that it could be interpreted in more than 1 ways, which is where the thinking trap is.

If you interpret it as "our decisions & actions will not change the ending of the game", then Yes, I personally believe it doesn't change the ending.

BUT,  If you interpret it as "our decisions & actions won't affect Anything in game", then No, it does affect a lot of things(besides the final ending, is what I think). 

There is already a Pacifist vs Snowgrave route that can be caused by our choices, the game doesn't railways everyone who plays the game to go on the same route. There are even more examples, like how others respond to Kris's ooc-ing and out-of-norm actions, character relations, and so on, but I'll stop here for examples cuz it will go on and on, eitherway the point stands: 

The answer to "Does our choice matter?", in my opinion, is "No(it very likely doesn't change the final ending), but also Yes(choices affects certain parts of the game, e.g. routes, gameplay experience, etc.)"

The problem with the question the "choice doesn't matter"statement poses is that it is such a Yes and No question, that for people who have played or experienced Undertale, 

it is giving mixed signals and befuddling people, especially to the ones who aren't fully aware of the important theme(s) of the predecessor game(Undertale), or is unable to respond to the unspoken question in more than 1 perspective as seen above.

With so much seemingly conflicting and confusing information floating about, it is easy to forget that the core message, or rather the somewhat non-outright spoken rules Toby's wrtten into Undertale still applies in Deltarune,  which is likely why "Don't forget" is also such an important line that goes from Undertale all the way to Deltarune, cause Toby's reminding us to not forget about what was taught from Undertale about treating his games and beloved characters right and do the same in Deltarune. (He does seem to love his concepts aka the games he created a whole lot & put a lot of thought into it, even makes sure the players don't get away scoot-free if they intentionally harm his characters, it feels pretty much same with UU's mangaka who also loves their creations a whole lot, and doesn't let even angst for the plot progression to "harm" their characters with angst too much, done in a logical way no less)

"Don't forget, I'm with you in the dark" seem even more personal (and scary, if you weren't behaving in-game *wink*) if we see that as a message from Toby to the Players now, doesn't it? It's also seems kinda a test to see if the players have understood what was learnt in Undertale, & also be able to understand what it actually means in Deltarune. I guess UTDR has actually always been kinda like a mind game in a way.

Congrats for reaching the end of the post! Here, have a complementary meme template.

#me, @ UTDR players: