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#And if you’re reading the tags - Shep!!! thank you for letting me write this
katkat030 · 4 hours
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There’s a fond tilt to his lips as he begins carding his fingers through Bdubs’ hair, the sensation of the strands slipping through his fingers and the weight of the head pillowed on his chest grounding. It feels right, just so, a surety that seeps into his bones and nestles there. With Bdubs curled up on the grass beside him, face turned outwards and the sleepy smile tugging at his expression just barely peeking out from beneath the arm thrown over his eyes, the irony isn’t lost on him.
Six months in the making! :) An Ethubs-focused one shot based on @shepscapades' Detroit Become Hermitcraft au!
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painterofhorizons · 2 years
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For the WIP game (thanks for tagging me btw!):
Since you’re one of the (too) few ME authors writing Joker as a main character, let’s see something about him! Specifically, the ME2 era, like pre-ME2 or the Joker/Shep PTSD comparison :)
Aw, thank you for throwing an ask! ^.^ (Also for the nice chat we had!)
From this WIP game list.
Okay, so, you picked the two super new Joker ideas! It's literally ideas I had like this Friday. Or yesterday morning. Who knows. :D So I can't tell much about them yet.
The second literally just says "compare Shepard's ptsd over Akuze with Joker's ptsd over the downfall of the SR1 and Shepard's death" but damn, I think that can be a really heart wrenching story. But also, it gives a wonderful excuse to write some Joker/Anderson, which I haven't done before, and in this house we cherish a good Dadmiral Anderson (am I right, @jedirangerpenguin?). So I am intrigued to dive into how Anderson might have tried to build Joker up while dealing with his own grief about Shepard's death. And also it gives me an excuse to write more about Akuze, and we all know I love writing about that and making everybody suffer.
As for the Joker pre-ME2: almost same situation, I have exactly one note taken and I cannot share that because it would give away too much of what I think can be a really nice story telling twist. But it will basically follow Joker's mental journey from hearing for the first times rumours that Shepard isn't dead (and not believing it) until eventually believing it. (Poor guy has trust issues, so that's... not so easy.)
Both ideas hold the potential to make us all HURT, but both are in their very initial "here's an idea" stadium, so I can't say when any of that will actually see the light of day.
Joker definitely is the best friend of Reda Shepard, so I'm sure I'll write more about them and him in the future. :) Again, thank you so much, I am thrilled that you enjoy reading about them!
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shadoedseptmbr · 3 years
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wip wednesday
Ooh, thanks @biotickaidan for the tag!  Tagging back anyone who wants to play.
I stayed up way too late last night with @nightmarestudio606 plotting out and writing our heathens on a “this is not a date we don’t date we're just in the same place at the same time being aggressively cute together playing kid's games  a few hundred yards from a fancy hotel room we're about to spend the night in” adventure. Have some of Aedan and Mark getting a little philosophical about her upcoming shore leave. :D
 “My roommate pointed me to Elysium, for my downtime. Said the hotel had a pool bigger than their hometown.”
“That’s a helluva name. ‘Elysium,’ heh.” He shook his head as they got into a sky car, destination punched in.
“After a book or somethin’ I thought.” She shrugged as she settled against the seat, watching his face. “Does it mean anything?”
“Think it’s Greek, though my Greek is worse than my Latin,” he sighed, sinking back into his own. “It, ah. It’s a paradise, if I remember correctly, but the price to enter it in the stories might be a little different from the shuttle fare you paid.”
“Full of farmers and colonists, far as I know. Maybe they just thought it sounded pretty.” She let her knee bump his. “Probably the only price I’ve gotta worry about is the minibar.”
“Well, make sure you have two pieces of silver to pay the ferryman, regardless. Wouldn’t want you stuck, heh.”
What? “That sounds...uh, kinda ominous.” 
“Eh. Maybe more morbid than ominous. Elysium was an afterlife reward for heroes, ‘good people’, the righteous, those chosen by gods. Y’know.” It was always fascinating to listen to him ramble about books, culture. Way more interesting than reading it herself in dull ink and pixel. He was gazing out the window, lights from the buildings flashing by in traces. And he hadn’t bothered to move his knee, if he’d even noticed.
“Well...I’m not any of those things. They’ll toss me out on my ass, silver or not once my nights are up, no worries.” His profile was lit then shadowed by the passing lights, his expression had gone solemn. Maybe he was in his head about his own stuff, but... she tapped his ankle with her foot. “Hey. It’s all right, Shep. It’s just a vacation, y’know? Even I can’t mess up a poolside in a bikini.” 
He chuckled at that. “Make sure you remove the knives from it first. Better chance for the swimsuit to actually stay on that way.”
She shot him a sharp little smile, letting her voice go lower. “Oh, now where’s the fun in that?”
“That’s right, I forgot who I was talkin’ to.” He smirked right back, snapping his fingers in mock-remembrance.
“Damn straight.” She glanced out the window and whistled at the flare of light and visual clutter they were settling down towards. “Holy shit. I haven’t seen this much neon in years. Didn’t realize they did that sort of gaudy here.”
The shuttle pulled into the terminal and they got out, the hustle and bustle of nightlife slipping around them like water over rocks in a stream. Easy to get lost in. “I would say it’s a ‘human’ thing to want bright and shiny shit when you’re lookin’ to have a night out, but it seems some things cross the stars. This way.” He nodded them down one of the side streets, game stalls and food trucks set up in front of the buildings.
She stepped in close, so she could be heard over the jangly music and laughter, the shouting of the barkers hustling folks to their booths. “Any idea what they’re celebrating or is this just for the hell of it?” She saw a couple of the homeless kids, duct rats, that were always around weaving in and out and around and tucked her hands in her pockets. 
“No fuckin’ clue. Could probably ask someone if you were curious, though.” He gestured to the booths. “Anythin’ catch your fancy?”
She looked down the row of stalls, plush toys dangling from some and all covered in lights and painted in streaks of eye catching color. There had been street parties in DC. Carnivals even. She just hadn’t been to one since she’d stopped being one of the rats weaving in and out and checking pockets. 
“Shoot shit, punch shit or grab shit. Like practice for all the felonies they used to try and arrest me for.” She shook her head. “I’ve been known to be okay at shooting things, if you wanta see if I really am rusty or not?”
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An Old Life Meets A New (Finale)
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Pairing: Jensen x Daughter, Danneel x Stepdaughter, Jared x Niece
Warnings: Slight Cussing, Angst, Fluff, Death Mentioned, Car Accident Mentioned, Anxiety/Depression, Arguing, Panic Attacks, Yelling, Fighting, Sex Mentioned, Child Abuse, Drunk Abuse, Relationship Abuse, Alcohol
Summary: After the recent death of her mother, Harper must adjust to her new life in the Ackles home, this includes a new stepmother, half-siblings, and reconnecting with her father.
A/N: And that’s a wrap! Thank you to everyone who supported me in writing my first series!! There are many more to come, don’t worry. Thank you to @mlovesstories for inspiring me to post my writings. Without her I probably wouldn’t be where I am. I love you, My Cherry Blossoms. Enjoy the finale! 
The finale is set 3 years into the future!!!
No hate on Danneel or Jensen please. Feedback is greatly appreciated!
***ASK OPEN***
*LET ME KNOW IF YOU’D LIKE TO BE IN MY TAG LIST*
An Old Life Meets A New Masterlist
Chapter 30: Epilogue
An 18-year-old Harper Ackles was currently painting a landscape on her wall. She had just returned from her therapist appointment after school and wanted to do some painting. JJ suggested something with horses, so Harper immediately got to work.
Since her first mural years ago, her walls all had different paintings on them now. One wall was the entirety of Central Park, another had a few paintings of flowers of all sorts, her back wall still had Time Square and below it was the Texas Capitol, but the current painting she was working on was a landscape of a grass field with wild horses.
JJ was doing her homework on Harper's bed when she looked up to Harper, "Hey, Sis?"
Harper turned from the wall, "Yeah?"
"I’ve done everything, but I still don't understand this stuff. Can you explain it one more time, pretty please?" asked JJ, flashing her puppy eyes at her sister.
Harper chuckled and turned back to her painting, "PEMDAS stands for parenthesis, exponents, multiplication, division, addition, and subtraction. You work through a math problem in that order, starting with-"
"That I understand, but the order is multiplication then division and addition then subtraction. What happens if the problem has more than one of each?" JJ pointed at her book, "Like this one has (2+9) - (9-2).”
Harper smiled at JJ, "The order of operations still stands. Parenthesis first from left to right then subtract them."
JJ stared at her book for a moment before smacking her forehead, "Oh, man. I'm so stupid!"
Harper let out a laugh, "No you're not, JJ. You're in 4th grade. It's difficult at first but the more you do it, the easier it gets," she pointed at JJ with her paint brush, "Don't forget, I use letters and words in Calculus. You're lucky to still have just numbers."
"It’s only because you're also old," JJ mumbled.
Harper set her paint supplies down and stepped down from the latter, "What was that?"
JJ held up her hands in defense, "Nothing, I said nothing."
Harper stood with her hands on her hips, "Yeah right. Just because you're 10 doesn't mean I can't still treat you like a kid. Come here!"
Harper lunged at JJ, but JJ jumped out of the way last minute. Harper chased her around her room, screaming and laughing, until they both got too tired and fell to Harper's bed, laughing at their childish games.
JJ laid on her stomach and looked at the landscape mural, "I really like this one. It feels like I'm actually there. Like I can feel the breeze and hear the horses."
"That was sort of the point," Harper stared at her painting, "Besides, it would be bad if you didn't like it. This will be your room someday after all."
JJ's eyes widened, "What? Really?"
"Well, I'll be off to college soon. And as a teen, you'll want your own space. Believe me, I know," Harper rolled her eyes.
"Harper, there's mail for you!" Jensen yelled from the living room.
JJ turned to Harper, "I'll race you."
Harper shook her head, "No, not today. I’m not really feeling it."
Then Harper shot up from the bed and ran to the door with a laugh. JJ chased after her to catch up. Harper jumped down the stairs followed by JJ. Jensen, Jared, and Genevieve turned from the couch to see the commotion from the girls.
"Oh, you totally cheated!" JJ exclaimed.
"I'm the oldest, I do not cheat. I just outsmart," Harper stuck her tongue out at JJ.
JJ scoffed, "I'd call waiting until you got to the bedroom door cheating."
"Well I call it strategy."
"Okay, girls. That's enough," Danneel said stepping between the two, "JJ, did you finish your homework?"
"Well, um, about that..." JJ chuckled nervously.
Danneel pointed upstairs, "When you finish, then you can come downstairs."
JJ rolled her eyes, groaned, and stomped upstairs.
Harper chuckled, "Well, she'll be a delightful teenager if she's like this now."
Jensen stood from the couch and walked up to Harper, holding out a letter, "Guess who it's from."
Harper took the letter with a shaky hand and looked at it with a gasp, "NYU?"
Jensen nodded, "You should open it."
Harper hesitated, "But what if I didn't get accepted?"
Jared stood and walked over to Harper, "And what if you did? You'll never know until you open it."
Genevieve walked up and wrapped an arm around Harper's shoulder, "Besides, whatever it says we'll support you in any decision you make."
Harper smiled at her family and sighed, "Okay, I'll open it."
She took a few steps forward and slowly began to open the letter. Once it was opened and the pulled the letter out, she paused.
Jensen walked forward and laid a hand on her shoulder, "What's wrong?"
"I'm scared. I know that I want to go to NYU because their art and education program is so good, but what if they didn't like my application? What if they think my paintings and drawings are average or even below average? What if-"
"What if you're stalling?" Jared interrupted her.
Harper rolled her eyes and chuckled, "Yeah, thanks Uncle Jared."
He smiled, "Anytime, kiddo."
Jensen shook his head at Jared then turned back to Harper, "Babygirl, open the letter. No matter what it says, you know we all think you're an amazing artist."
Harper let out a long sigh and nodded, "Okay."
She unfolded the letter and started to read. Her hand slowly came up to cover her mouth and she turned from Jensen, walking away from him. Jensen turned back to Danneel with a sad look on his face and shook his head. Jared and Gen exchanged an upset look as well.
Then Harper turned back around, uncovered her mouth, and quietly said, "I got in."
Jensen took a step forward, a surprised looked took over his face, "You what?"
"Dad, I got in! I'm going to NYU!" Harper yelled out.
Jensen ran up to her and picked her up, spinning her in a circle. Danneel ran over and hugged Harper as well. Jared and Gen doing the same.
"Read it to us, Harper," Genevieve said excitedly.
"Okay, okay," she cleared her throat, "Dear Miss Ackles, We are glad you have considered NYU and have completed the first step in joining the Bobcat family. We would like to be the first to congratulate you on your admission to New York University. After thoroughly looking through your application and artwork, we would also like to offer you a full ride to our university. We look forward to hearing from you soon and we'll see you this fall. Sincerely, The Director of Admissions and Recruitment"
Everyone was cheering and hugging Harper. They were so happy for her. She is following her dreams, continuing school, and moving forward with her life.
Danneel hugged her tightly, "Harper, I'm so proud of you. You're so grown up now, going off to college and starting your life. I knew you were destined for greatness."
Harper smiled, "Thanks, Mom."
Everyone suddenly paused. Harper's face got bright red as she realized what had just came from her mouth.
Danneel held her out at arms length, "What was that?"
Harper shook her head, "Nothing, nothing. Sorry, I didn't mean...it just slipped. I'm sorry...I shouldn't have-"
Danneel hugged her again, "Harper, it's okay. If you feel that way, it's completely okay with me. If you want to call me Dee or Mom, it's your choice."
Harper backed away and looked down, a tear falling down her face, "I've actually wanted to call you Mom for a few months now. I just didn't know how to tell you."
Danneel smiled, "Well if you ask me, I think that was perfect timing."
Harper ran her fingers through her hair, "I mean, now or never right?"
Just then, JJ ran down the stairs to interrupt them, "I was kind of standing behind the way and listening. But Harper," she ran to hug her, "Congrats! I'm so proud of you, Sis."
Arrow and Zeppelin ran into the room as well. Arrow walked up to give Harper a hug, as did Zeppelin.
Harper bent down to look at them, "Well, it looks like you three will finally all have your own rooms in a couple months."
Zeppelin looked at her confusingly, “But I already have my own room.”
“Yeah,” replied Harper, “But now you won’t be across from both Arrow and JJ.”
Zeppelin crossed his arms and mumbled, “Maybe then I won’t get my nails paints every weekend anymore.”
“Nice try,” Arrow spoke up, “This weekend, JJ and I are having a makeup party! And you, little brother, are at the top of the guest list.”
Zeppelin groaned in response, which got a laugh out of everyone in the room.
The rest of the afternoon was spent celebrating Harper's admission into NYU. Jensen went out and got a cake, Danneel made spaghetti and meatballs for dinner as it's Harper's favorite, and Jared and Gen brought their kids over for a pool party.
Harper felt so loved and filled with so much joy that day. Things were changing, and they were changing for the better.
A couple months later, Harper's room was packed up and she was off to New York. Jensen, Danneel, Jared, Genevieve, Tom, Shep, Odette, JJ, Arrow, and Zeppelin all took her to the airport to say goodbye.
"I promise, I'll call you when I land and I'll send you pictures of my dorm," Harper said as she hugged Jensen and Danneel goodbye.
Jensen wiped his tears, "Please do. I want to see everything."
Danneel kissed her cheek, "Just please check in with us whenever you can."
"I will," Harper laughed.
She hugged Jared and Gen, then their kids, and finally the Ackles kids. JJ kept her arms around Harper's neck, trying to make her stay.
"JJ, I have to go," Harper said trying to pull JJ off.
JJ kept her grip though and continued to cry, "No, you can't leave."
Harper felt her heartstrings beginning to pull, Is this how I felt when Dad left?
Harper held her sister at arms length, "JJ, I can promise you this. I will come back. I'm not leaving forever. You'll see me for Thanksgiving. Just promise me something okay? Be good, keep studying hard, and stay out of trouble. If you ever need help on your homework, call me. I'll try my best to help you over the phone."
JJ sighed and nodded, "Will you call me when you land?"
Harper looked up at Jensen and they exchanged a smile.
She turned back to JJ and smiled at her then bringing her into a hug, "Of course, Sis. I'll call as soon as the plane touches the ground."
Harper stood up from hugging her, tears were flowing from both of them. Harper then walked back up to Jensen.
"Harper, I'm so proud of you. You're such a smart girl, and you've really grown up," he said.
Harper shrugged, "I learned from the best, Dad."
Jensen laughed, "Be safe, okay?" then hugged her.
Harper hugged him back, "I will. I love you, Dad."
"I love you too, babygirl."
Harper pulled away from the hug and grabbed her carry on bag. She waved goodbye at the Padelecki's and Ackles' families and walked towards the security area.
Both families started to leave the airport, but Jensen didn't move.
"Honey, is everything okay?" asked Danneel.
Jensen wrapped an arm around her, "Yeah, Dee. Everything is perfect," he kissed her temple, "Our little girl is all grown up now."
Harper's flight was 3 hours, but felt quick. She touched down in New York, got her bags from the baggage claim, and walked out of the airport. She called home to let her know she had gotten there safely, and JJ was very excited to hear from Harper.
She got a taxi and it took her to NYU. She checked in, got her dorm keys, and put her bags in her room. She took a few pictures of her room and sent them to Jensen.
She sat down on her bed and thought for a moment. She stood up and searched her carry on for her sketchbook and her pencils. Then she grabbed her dorm key and left the dormitories as quickly as possible. She took a taxi and went to the cemetery. Once she arrived, she took a stroll to the corner where her mother was.
Harper sat down next to the headstone, opened up her sketchbook, and sighed, "Hi, Mom. It's been a while, huh? Let me catch you up on everything that's happened."
The End
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Masterlist
My Cherry Blossoms
@mlovesstories @adorable-minibot @chessurkait​
@desiredposion @idksupernatural @thevelvetseries​ @let-me-luve-you​
@obsessedwithfandomsx​ @mangueweaschester​ @starchildwild​ @deans-baby-momma​ @spnbaby-67​ @unicornmadness2444​
@emery--nicole--morrison​ @spnfamily-j2 @wecantgiggleitsafandom
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alipeeps · 4 years
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New tag game: Post pictures of your first ever (fictional/celeb) crush to the latest one and tag five others to continue the game
Thanks to @minmoyu for tagging me and ooof, are you sure you’re ready for this?!! :D I have been around/in fandom for a loooooong time and at first I thought, okay, no way I can list all my crushes, there have been SO many and we’ll be here all day but then as I started compiling a list I found I was having fun reminiscing and decided, what the heck, yeah, let’s do em all... or at least all I can remember! :D
There have absolutely for sure been other more minor crushes and passing fancies along the way, but these are the big ones that I remember (and that, in more recent years, I can track by going through my posted fanfics on AO3 and even *shudder* FFNET and seeing which shows I was into enough to want to write fic about the characters).
[Quick note: with rare exceptions, for actors I am listing them by the character they played rather than just the actor. Whilst there are actors that I like in multiple roles (and conversely, characters who on paper I would normally be into but are played by actors who do nothing for me, and hence the character generally does nothing for me either), for the most part it is the character I really have the crush on.]
I’m going to put this under a readmore cos it has gotten ridiculously long:
So... without further ado:
1. MORTEN HARKET from a-ha - OKay so, dating myself badly here but... I had the *biggest* crush on Morten Harket when I was a teenager. Pretty much the entirety of my side of the bedroom I shared with my sister was covered in posters of a-ha, and Morten in particular. I even had a heart-shaped Morten Harket pillow! :D I loved a-ha’s music (still do!) and I wanted to go see them in concert when I was 14 but my parents wouldn’t let me (*sob*). I did finally get to see them in concert in the early 2000s and they were BRILLIANT live (and Morten was still very very pretty)! 
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2. RICHARD DEAN ANDERSON as MACGYVER - MacGyver is the first tv character I remember being really into and having a crush on, to the extent that I would record episodes of the show off the tv (onto VHS tape - yes, I am *that* old!) so that I could rewatch them (especially the ones where he got hurt - yeah, I was a whumper even then! :D)
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3. KEIFER SUTHERLAND - One of my rare exceptions. I think I first saw him in Lost Boys (and loved him in that film) but it was his role as Doc Scurlock in Young Guns that really made me fall for both the character and him. I definitely remember seeking out any and all films he was in and buying any magazine he was interviewed in (and knowing far more facts about him than was probably healthy! :D) and even drawing a fanart portrait of him. :)
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4. KYLE MACLACHLAN as SPECIAL AGENT DALE COOPER - I remember hearing about Twin Peaks before it started airing in the UK and it sounded so different and interesting... I watched it from the very first episode and very quickly developed a crush on Coop.  
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5. BRENT SPINER as DATA - I think ST: TNG had been airing for a while before I stumbled across it but I quickly became hooked and Data was my favourite character right from the start. I definitely remember at one point buying an (unofficial) episode guide book so that I could look up which episodes were good Data-focused ones (especially ones where he got hurt! :D) so I could go out and buy the videos that had those episodes on (at the time the show was available to buy on VHS-tape with 2 episodes on each tape).
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6. DAVID DUCHOVNY as FOX MULDER - Another show that I heard the buzz about and started watching right from the start and, like so many others, I immediately developed a crush on the snarky, enigmatic, troubled FBI agent with the weird name. The X-Files was the first show I ever tried writing (one, never-finished) fanfic for.
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7. PAUL GROSS as BENTON FRASER - Man, Due South was such a good show! It was so quirky and clever and funny and Benton Fraser, with his huge heart and his serious demeanour and his gorgeous blue eyes, was just so darn attractive! He also got whumped a fair bit too! :D Due South was also the show that introduced me to the music of Sarah McLachlan (I was enough of a fan that I bought the show soundtrack on CD).
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8. HUGH LAURIE as DR GREGORY HOUSE - This was a bit of an odd one for me because I had grown up knowing Hugh Laurie solely as a comedian/comic actor, known mostly for playing buffoons and genial idiots. And suddenly here he was with stubble, an American accent, and a limp, and he was hawt AF! :D It caused quite the feedback loop in my brain for a while which pretty much went “Wow, House is hot.... but it’s Hugh Laurie... but he’s hot... but it’s HUGH LAURIE!!1!”
I *loved* House (the first few seasons, at least) and oof a character with persistent pain (and a self-destructive streak a mile wide!) was a whumper’s dream. House was the first show for which I wrote - and published online - completed fanfics.
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8. JOE FLANIGAN as JOHN SHEPPARD - Stargate Atlantis was my first proper online fandom, the first show I prolifically and repeatedly wrote fanfic for, and the first time I ever met in person an actor I was a big fan of (and while the show was still airing, to boot!). It was also my first introduction to the online community of whumpers! A bunch of us from the Shep Whump thread on Gateworld heard that Joe was going to be at a convention in London and we decided to book hotel rooms and meet up and go to the convention together and it was AWESOME! I can still remember seeing Joe *in person* for the first time and just,,,, struggling to believe he was actually here, in person, in front of me! He was super super lovely and humble too and took time to chat to everyone at the signing table and I clearly remember my brain just pretty much fritzing out during the photo session and being intensely aware of the sensation of Joe’s hand on my shoulder....
It was also super lovely to meet fellow fans, and online friends, in person for the first time and we had so much fun, and it kickstarted me going to lots of other conventions, including specific Stargate/SGA ones where I got to know lots of other lovely fans and online friends. I’ve met Joe about 4 or 5 times in total now and he’s been lovely every time.
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9. PAUL BLACKTHORNE as HARRY DRESDEN - Gosh I loved the shortlived tv adaptation of The Dresden Files. I loved the fantasy aspect, the stories, the humour, and I especially loved Harry Dresden and how often he got whumped! :D 
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10. DAVID TENNANT as THE 10TH DOCTOR - I had watched the Christopher Ecclestone revival of Doctor Who and enjoyed it well enough but I can clearly remember watching David Tennant’s first episode as The Doctor - on Christmas Day, at my brother-in-law’s house - and being aware, as I watched it that... ooookay, yes, I’m in trouble here... I like him... I like him a lot... :D I mean, I’m sure the fact that he got whumped so thoroughly in his very first episode had nothing to do with how quickly I fell for him... right? :)
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11. ALEX O’LAUGHLIN as MICK ST JOHN - Another show that ended far too soon and just as it was getting *seriously* good. But also a prime example of my point about having a crush on the character not the actor. I looooooved Alex as Mick St John... and yet in Hawaii 5.0 he pretty much does nothing for me (the character is too stoic and the whump often too unrealistically glossed over). Anyway, in Moonlight he was my favourite kind of character - angsty, brooding, dangerous AF when he needed to be... and essentially immortal so you could whump the heck out of him and he’d recover so you could whump him again! :D
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12. SIMON BAKER as PATRICK JANE - There is so much to love about Patrick Jane... his smarts, his sass, his angst... and Simon is a rare “against type” blonde crush for me (you may have noticed by now that most of my crushes follow a similar physical aesthetic - tall, slim/wiry, and dark-haired) and again here I think my crush is almost all to do with the character rather than the actor.
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12. BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH as SHERLOCK HOLMES - I’m almost ashamed to admit it, given the clusterfuck that both the show and its fandom became, but in the earlier seasons I had quite the crush on Benedict’s Sherlock (and okay, a little bit on Benedict himself - I did definitely enjoy some of his other roles too). It helps that I was already a huge fan of the Sherlock Holmes character (I’ve read all the stories and novels multiple times and was a big fan of the Granada adaptation starring Jeremy Brett - whose Holmes would definitely count as one of my more minor/passing crushes) already. Benedict is another crush that I have met in person, at a (actually, the first!) Sherlock convention and he was lovely in person - very genuine, very articulate and thoughtful.
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13. TOM MISON as ICHABOD CRANE - I was excited for Sleepy Hollow as soon as I heard about it and I was SUCH a fan for the first couple of seasons (before TPTB completely destroyed it and it inevitably got cancelled (I didn’t even watch the last season and a half)) and Tom’s Ichabod (and his amazing chemistry with Nicole’s Abbie) was a large part of why. I also quickly became a big fan of Tom himself as he came across as so witty and self-deprecating and *fun* in all the behind the scenes/convention clips etc. I was lucky enough to also meet Tom at a convention and he genuinely is that witty and charming and lovely.
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14. TOM WISDOM as ARCHANGEL MICHAEL - I think Dominion was possibly the first show that I got sucked into by seeing whumpy gifsets on tumblr! :D It was such a great show and also to date the most immersive, welcoming, cast-and-crew-interactive fandom I have ever been in. The cast and crew regularly live-tweeted the episodes, and interacted with fans on Twitter, and it was SO much fun. And Tom’s Michael was my favourite character right from the start - seemingly aloof but so much going on under the surface... and some really nice whump, especially in season 2! I was heartbroken when it was cancelled after only 2 seasons (and just as the plot was getting *really* interesting).
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15. OLIVER JACKSON-COHEN as LUCAS - I was hooked on Emerald City right from the first episode. It was visually stunning, so atmospheric, and really intruiging. I love love loved Adria Arjona’s Dorothy (ngl, I had a bit of a crush on her too) and she and Lucas together were just... *chef’s kiss*. I mean... what an introduction to a character... she finds him crucified, bleeding, his wrists tied with barbed wire, and amnesiac.... and the whump only gets better and better from there on in! Like the entire first two episodes are just... Lucas whump! :D And his devotion to her... Emerald City was honestly the first show where I really got into a ship. I was *invested* in Dorcas, dammit! Aaaand sadly another excellent show that never made it past its first season.
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16. JASON RALPH as QUENTIN COLDWATER - Another show that I watched right from the start, was heavily invested in.... and that the writers absolutely tanked and destroyed in later seasons. *cries* Quentin was such a brilliant viewpoint character for the show and I loved his awkwardness, and his angst, and his enthusiasm, and his adorable floppy hair... and how often he got whumped! 
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17. COLIN MORGAN - I fell for Colin in Merlin (which I stumbled upon late, long after it had finished airing, and hence was able to binge-watch the entire 5 seasons!) and liked him enough to seek out his other works, such as The Fall, and Humans, and The Living and the Dead, and he was brilliant (and very pretty) in all of them... and his characters also seem to get whumped quite a lot! :D 
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18. MATT LANTER as WYATT LOGAN - Wyatt was another of my favourite archetypes... absolutely badass and competent... but also tortured and angsty and capable of intense devotion. Another show that I watched because of whumpy gifs on tumblr and the second ever show where I actually got invested in a ship - Lyatt all the way, baby!! :D - aaaaaand yet another show cancelled before its time.
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19. NOCTIS LUCIS CAELUM from FINAL FANTASY XV - my very first video game crush! I was recommended to play FFXV by fellow whumpers on the whumpshire discord because it was whumpy... and they were not wrong and I loved the game and I absolutely adored Noctis. FFXV is one of very very VERY few video games that I have actually played right through to the end. And possibly the only video game that has ever affected me to such an extent... I became so invested in the characters and their world and I actually found the last couple of chapters really hard to play because it was actually upsetting me emotionally. I had to take a break for a couple of weeks before I could go back and finish it!
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20. CONNOR from DETROIT BECOME HUMAN - and from there I jumped straight into another video game crush! DBH was another game recommended to me for its whump potential and I, and many others, immediately fell in love with the quirky, sassy, self-sacrificing (if you play the game right!) “android sent by Cyberlife”. The game itself is really good too... although, I have tried to play through all the different endings to the story but have never yet managed to make myself play the machine Connor storyline.... I want to complete all the story branches... but I also just want Hank and Connor to be friends and to be happy! :D
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21. ZHU YILONG - Ahhh... the beginning of the asian drama arc of my fandom life! I first came across Zhu Yilong after getting sucked into watching Guardian because of pretty (and whumpy) gifs on tumblr... and I’ve never looked back. He is one of the rare entries where I am pretty much guaranteed to like him in pretty much anything he does and my crush extends beyond Shen Wei, or his other characters, and into reblogging his fashion shoot photos, and keeping up with news of his work in general. He’s just... so darn pretty! And also so... blur! :D And the behind the scenes stuff and interviews of him with Bai Yu, during the Guardian era, just made me fall for him all the more. He’s also ridiculously talented - not only a fantastic actor, but a really good singer (I love his singing voice), he plays guitar and piano, and he can paint too!!
He’s also pretty much what made me start learning Chinese... because after Guardian I went seeking his other dramas to watch... only to find that many of them are only partially, or not at all, subbed. So I thought... why not try learning Chinese and then I’ll be able to watch his other shows? :D
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21. JI CHANG WOOK - My first kdrama crush, and what a good one to start with! Healer was the first drama I ever watched and can you blame me for falling for JCW... especially when I followed up Healer with The K2?! I’ve liked him in pretty much everything I’ve watched him in. Although I do wish he would go back to doing more action-based shows as he is sooo good at them... but he seems to prefer the romcom genre these days, which is something I am nottt always a fan of tbh.
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22. JAKE HSU as MENG SHAO FEI - Yet another show that I got sucked into by tumblr - and also one with a great, fun fandom through which I met lots of lovely people who I still follow/am mutuals with to this day. I just *adored* Jake’s character in History and I also loved the ship - Tang Fan and Meng Shaofei were awesome and adorable together and I was totally invested in both the ship and the gangster/cop/what happened years ago story happening alongside the ship. And Jake is just all kinds of cute.
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23. XIAO ZHAN - Aaaand we are pretty much up to current day now... where The Untamed took over my life in the summer of 2019 and has yet to let me go. Xiao Zhan is another disgustingly talented human being - a fantastic singer and a really good actor, and also an artist - and he also just comes across as a genuinely sweet and charming person, and a very thoughful and earnest one too. And lbr he is ridiculously pretty, and his smile is just pure sunshine. 
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24. LEE DONG WOOK as LEE YEON - The most recent entry to the charts.... a Korean actor I was aware of but whose work I hadn’t watched and whose looks didn’t particularly seem to grab me... until I watched Tale of the Nine Tailed and fell head over heels for Lee Yeon (and daaayum does red hair suit LDW!!) and very quickly began to find LDW’s looks very appealing (and oh my, does Lee Yeon whump well!!). And yes, I have now started watching Goblin. :D
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Phew! Aaaand we are done! I’ll admit, I did think of a few more as I was compiling this list but I decided to categorise them as more “minor” crushes and not include them... otherwise we really could be here all day!!
I’m going to tag: @sarah-yyy​, @arlothia​, @howdydowdy​, @thepromiseweheldforlife​ and @the-wandering-whumper​!
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tonks32 · 5 years
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Tagged by @whatsherfacewrites- A first for me! So thank you!
IDK how this works so tagging @pookyhuntress and @gentlezed
This might be very similar to Whatsherfacewrites :D. 
1. First ship you ever wrote fic for:
Back in 7th grade which was quite a time ago, Mulder and Scully to the first big fanfic movement. 
2. Ship you write the most now:
CassandraxTrevelyan as of late! I mean there isn’t nearly enough CassandraxInquisitor fics out there!!!
3. Ship you read the most now:
I would say CassandraxTrevelyan, Cullenxinquisitor, AlistairxCousland. But believe me when I say there is many more! 
4. Newest ship:
Out of left field, BethanyxRylen and I’ve been playing Assassin’s Creed unity and well let me tell you I ship Arno and Elise hardcore! 
5. Rare ship you wanna read more of:
It’s not rare, rare, but Hawke/Cullen. Even Bethany/Cullen. Ash/M!Shep, Cora/M! Ryder. Those last two shouldn’t be rare, but well they are!
6. Your taboo ship:
I’m not sure I have one.
7. They never met in canon ship:  
I guess possibly Bethany/Rylen. I feel like that one would never have happened.
8. Your unexpected ship:
I stumbled into Horizon Zero dawn fic. I really like Alloy/Nil but fell into  the rabbit hole of Alloy/Nil/Avad/Erend
9. The ship you always forget to give love to:
Umm, I guess Kadien/F!Shepard. 
10. Ship your OC with a canon character (if applicable):
All of my OCs are with canon characters, but it seems the fandom isn’t on the same page :D
11. Ship you’re embarrassed to ship:
Not sure if I have one.
12. Your most romantic ship:
I would say either Aiden Trevelyan/Cassandra or Gideon Trevelyan/Cassandra. It’s hard to tell. 
13. Your sexiest ship:
Aiden Trevelyan/Cassandra. I stepped way out of my comfort zone with that story!
14. Your most tragic ship:
Aiden Trevelyan/Cassandra. It was the first story that I knew wasn’t going to have a textbook happy ending. 
15. A ship you want more content for:
I'm stealing Whatsherfacewristes because I agree with it 100%-Look, Cassandra A. P. C. F. Pentaghast is amazing, and I just want her to be with someone that deserves her, ok?
plus more positive Ashley Williams fic!
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nilesdaughter · 6 years
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Ship Meme
I was tagged by @4vrafangirl! Thank you so much!
If you feel up to it, I’ll tag: @thevetranyxs, @battlefox, @battyhatter, @tyishi, @savvylittleminx, @ariannadi, @amariahellcat, and anyone else who wants to gush about their ships.
First ship you ever read fic for: Oh, geez, I don’t know if I can remember that far back, tbh, because the first fandom I really started engaging in fanfiction for was Mary Hoffman’s Stravaganza series...So, I suppose that would mean the first ship I read fic for was Luciano and Arianna?
First ship you ever wrote fic for: I know my first fic was also for Stravaganza, but I think that one featured an OCxOC pairing, though canon ones were in the background, too. I honestly can’t remember. I also can’t check because I deleted the fic from FF.net and the file for the fic was lost when one of my USB drives corrupted a couple years ago.
Ship you write the most now: I would argue that Cullavellan is the pairing I write the most for, because I find it really easy to think of scenarios to put Cullen and my Inquisitor into.
Ship you read the most now: I would say it’s equally tied between Cullavellan, Shakarian, and Perc’ahlia.
Newest ship: Widomauk <3
Rare ship you wanna read more of: Um, I guess fem!Shep and Tali? Like, I know there are plenty of others that ship it, but I feel like I just haven’t found a lot of fic for it?
Your taboo ship: Since more and more things are quickly being labeled as problematic by fandoms, I guess Wincest and Shizaya fall into this category. While I understand the issues that are implied by both ships (incest and abusive toxicity, respectively), I honestly love reading content for them.
They never met in canon ship: I don’t think I have one of these, actually?
Your unexpected ship: Probably Beau and Jester. Oh, and my OT3 of Shepard, Garrus, and Tali, because it was the first time I truly and actively had an OT3.
The ship you always forget to give love to: I guess HawkexCullen and HawkexVarric? Mostly because I don’t actively seek out that content but enjoy it whenever it comes to my attention/crosses my dash.
Ship your OC with a canon character (if applicable): Okay, these are literally all of my ships when I’m not writing for canon ships. I’ve always been an OCxCanon type of person, so we’re not getting into this list.
A ship you’re embarrassed to ship: I’m a huge proponent for “ship and let ship,” so I’m personally not embarrassed by any of my ships. I just feel a little self-conscious when I learn about drama that surrounds a ship, such as recent fandom “crack-downs” on incestuous ships.
Your most romantic ship: Definitely my take on Cullavellan.
Your sexiest ship: I would argue Shizaya, but only because that is definitely the ship I have read the most smut for. Like, almost all of my favorite Shizaya fics are smutty. And as for writing a sexy ship...I actually have yet to do that? At least, enough so to say I have a ship that is sexier than others.
Your most tragic ship: I would argue for Solavellan and MaharielxTamlen for ones that I’ve written for, because those ones don’t get happy endings.
A ship you want more content for: You can never have enough content for your ships. Just give me all the things lol
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Text
I Know Your Wife (She Wouldn’t Mind) - Part Twelve
Summary: You fly out for Asylum and meet up with the rest of the cast, only to find out that you have to do your first ever solo panel in front of two thousand fans Words: 4.4k (+ tweets) Jared x Reader x Gen, Misha, Kim, Briana, Danneel, Jensen, JJ Warnings: smut-ish phone calls, mild angst, fluff Beta: @blacksiren
IKYW Masterpost
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In-flight wifi was a God sent gift on the flight to London.
Despite appearing calm and feeling tired, you couldn’t get to sleep for the first few hours due to anxious energy.
You decided to catch up on a Netflix show that Gen had recommended to you, seeing as you probably had a while before you’d be able fall asleep.
The second episode was almost finished when your phone buzzed with a twitter notification, so you waited for it to end before checking twitter.
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Now you were the one with a twinge in your heart as you read Danneel’s tweet.
You typed out a reply without thinking about it, hitting ‘tweet’ before you realised that you hadn't posted anything to social media since your baby announcement.
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You contemplated deleting it straight away, but likes were already coming in so you knew that someone would have a screenshot anyway.
It was weird for you to think that people would have you on tweet notifications, but the speed that the reactions were coming in couldn’t have all been coincidence.
Deciding to leave the tweet as it was, you muted your phone and put it down in your bag.
You wouldn’t have known what to say if you’d planned your comeback to twitter anyway, so you figured this was an okay way to go.
Pushing the issue to the back of your mind, you continued onto episode three.
The flight landed at Heathrow airport twenty minutes late, so you called Danneel the second you were left in the lounge.
She picked up on the first ring.
“I’ve been waiting for this call for hours,” she told you in place of a greeting, and you laughed softly.
“I called as soon as I could, the plane was just-”
“I know, I know, a little bit late,” she sighed. “I’m still allowed to worry about my girl.”
“Well, no need to worry,” you assured her. “I even grabbed a couple hours.”
You smiled thanks to the member of staff that brought your luggage to you.
“I’m gonna try and sleep some more in the car, but with Misha with me I’m not sure that’ll work,” you told Danneel, surprised to hear a deeper voice on the other end of the line.
“Hey kiddo, you alive?” Jensen asked, and you laughed again.
“Yeah, I’m alive,” you confirmed, hearing Danneel ask for her phone back in the background.
“Does that mean we can go to sleep now?” Jensen yawned, and you found yourself catching the yawn from all the way across the Atlantic.
“Yeah,” you told him. “Tell Dan that she doesn’t need to worry and that I’ll be fine.”
“Y/N says you can stop being a little bitch about it now that she’s landed safe.”
“Hey!” you laughed. “That’s not what I said.”
“He was worried, too,” Danneel insisted, and you rolled your eyes.
“Y’all are such parents,” you teased. “I’m fine. I’ll see you when I talk to Tex later.”
“Okay,” Danneel agreed. “We’ll sleep, but I still want you to text me.”
“Of course,” you assured her, pausing. “How is she?”
“Sleeping,” Danneel told you. “Missing you and Baby Dits.”
You sighed, the twinge back in your heart.
“I’ve never been homesick before but I think that sentence just made me.”
“Try and enjoy yourself,” she reminded you before breaking off into a yawn of her own.
You nodded, contemplative.
“Okay, well,” you sighed. “Goodnight, guys. Get some sleep.”
“Night, sweetheart,” Jensen murmured. “Stay safe.”
You smiled, looking down at your lap.
“Yeah,” you sighed. “You too.”
With one last ‘love you’ from Danneel, you hung up the phone.
Due to the slight delay of your flight, you had less time to wait before Misha would arrive. It was still a twenty-five minute wait, but you could entertain yourself for that long.
Getting comfortable in your armchair, it suddenly hit you how far away you were from home, and from JJ.
JJ, who’d already been asking her mom when you were coming home.
You pulled your headphones from your bag, reminding yourself that you’d be talking to her later and that she was safe and sleeping soundly with her family nearby as you searched for what you wanted on Spotify.
You closed your eyes as the Tangled soundtrack started to play.
Surprisingly, Misha was on board with your plan to sleep on the way up to Blackpool.
“It’s a five hour drive, and when we get there it’ll barely be lunchtime,” he reminded you once you were in the car. “So I think sleeping in here makes sense. You and the baby need rest.”
“Baby Ditto,” you corrected, the two of you looking at each other before you burst out laughing. “It’s… sorry. JJ’s name for the baby. Everyone else has been using it, I guess you should, too.”
“Alright, kiddo,” he laughed, shifting in his seat so he was leaning against the window. “You and Baby Ditto need rest.”
Misha was right, you definitely needed the rest.
The two of you were the first of the guests to arrive at the hotel, but you managed to get to your rooms without too much disruption.
Once you’d deposited your suitcases, Misha suggested going on a walk along the coast to find somewhere to eat.
The scent of the sea hit you as you walked down the promenade towards the pier.
The two of you were wearing sunglasses, but nothing else to disguise who you were, and you couldn’t help but remember that there were thousands of Supernatural fans in the city right now.
“It’s not that much of a problem,” Misha assured you. “Maybe someone will snap a picture of us together and the heat will be off Jensen in the rumour department for a while.”
You pulled a face as he looked down to see your reaction.
“Hey!” he gasped, offended. “I’m a good looking guy!”
“I didn’t deny that,” you laughed. “But… dude.”
He shook his head.
“Am I really that repulsive?” he asked and you stopped walking, standing in front of him.
“Nobody said you’re repulsive,” you reminded him, “But you’re more than twice my age. Are you actually offended?”
He finally cracked a smile, and you hit his chest.
“You’re an ass,” you told him, starting to walk again. “I thought I’d actually hurt your feelings by saying I didn’t want to bang you.”
He smirked, throwing his arm around your shoulders.
“There are plenty of girls your age that want to bang me,” he told you, and you rolled your eyes. “I’m not kidding, you should see what people write about me.”
“You need to stop lurking on your tumblr tag,” you told him, and he laughed.
“I don’t read them,” he assured you. “There’s a lot of Deanity shit on that site, too.”
You pulled another face and he took his arm from your shoulders to shove his hands in his pockets.
“People need to stop shipping me with people old enough to be my dad,” you murmured, and he raised an eyebrow at you.
“Dean and Trinity have the same age gap as you and Jare-”
“Shut up,” you groaned, elbowing his side.
You continued to walk in silence, the ocean glistening in the sun.
“Have you seen the theory about it actually being Jeff’s kid?” Misha asked, and you let out a shocked laugh.
“What?” you asked, incredulous. “You’re kidding.”
He shook his head, laughing.
“No, apparently people think his tweet was a double bluff,” he told you.
“I’ve met him literally one time,” you argued, and he held his hands up in defeat. “Hilarie was there the whole time.”
“I thought you swung both ways,” he teased, and you shoved him.
“Shut up,” you laughed. “God, why do I tell you anything?”
“Because I could say literally anything at conventions and people would take it as a joke,” he offered. “I’ve spilled so many secrets by accident but the fans write it off as ‘Misha fucking with us’.”
You nodded, knowing that to be true.
“Also, I didn’t hear any complaints about Jeff’s age,” he mentioned, sub-casually. “He’s older than me.”
“You,” you sighed, shaking your head. “You are a pain in the ass.”
You were both laughing when you heard a call of Misha’s name across the street.
You looked across to see a couple of girls trying to cross the road to see you.
“You have to take the lead, here,” you told him, pushing your sunglasses back up into your hair as he tucked his into his shirt.
“They’re just people,” he reminded you, smiling as there was a lull in traffic and the girls rushed over to your side of the road.
You FaceTimed Danneel once you were back in your hotel room, knowing that they’d be awake despite the time difference.
You had a few minutes to talk to her before JJ came bursting in, demanding to speak to you.
“Ditto, when you coming home?” she asked you, before even saying hello as she crawled into her mom’s lap.
“Twelve days,” you told her, smiling sadly. “It’ll go quick though, I promise.”
“Daddy said he gets to see you nex’ week,” she pouted. “An’ I gotta wait a whole twelve days?”
“Daddy’s gotta come to Rome,” you reminded her. “You and your mommy are staying home with Arrow and Zeppy.”
“Tom an’ Shep get to go,” she argued, and you looked to Danneel for help.
“Aunt Mama and Uncle Jared are both going,” Danneel answered her daughter. “So the boys gotta go, too.”
“Then they can take me,” she said with a tone of finality.
Danneel sighed, kissing the top of JJ’s head.
“I’m not sure,” she told her. “But I promise you can talk to Ditto every day.”
JJ nodded, looking at you on the screen in front of her.
“Every day?” she asked you, and you nodded.
“Every day,” you promised. “Tell me what you did yesterday.”
The change in subject worked to distract JJ for a few minutes, telling you all about her day, conveniently missing out - as Danneel told you later - the amount of tantrums she threw at bedtime because you weren’t there.
By the time the call ended, you felt like a weight had been lifted from your chest.
You made JJ promise to go to sleep without a fuss while you were away, and she agreed on the condition that you got to have a full Ditto and Tex day when you got back.
As if that was gonna be a chore.
Your phone told you that it was just after 4pm local time, so 10am back home.
You’d texted Jared and Gen when you’d got to Blackpool, and they’d replied a couple of hours ago, so you knew that they were awake.
You decided to call Genevieve to see if they were available to talk at all.
Maybe you were a little homesick. You were in a different country for the first time ever and you missed your family, it was understandable.
You thought it was going to ring out - figuring that they were busy and they’d call you back later - but they picked up on what must’ve been the last ring.
“Hey.”
Just the one word told you that Jared was out of breath.
“Hey,” you laughed softly. “What, did you lose Gen’s phone or something?”
He laughed, breathlessly.
“Or something,” he told you. “How are you? How was the flight?”
Something was still off about his voice, but you were so happy to be talking to him that you didn’t really notice.
“I’m good, and it was long,” you smiled, leaning back against your headboard.
You heard Gen laugh slightly in the background, and you rolled your eyes.
“Mature,” you teased.
Jared laughed too, followed by a cut-off groan from Gen.
Suddenly, you sat bolt upright.
“Are you guys…?” you asked, shaking your head. “Shit, are you fucking?”
Jared laughed, low and deep, before Genevieve answered.
“Didn’t take you long to catch on,” she teased, and you smirked, finding your confidence.
“I’d know the sound of your moans anywhere,” you told her, causing one of those moans to leave her lips. “Anyway, I’ll leave you to it.”
“Or,” Jared offered, “You could stay.”
You bit your lip, when you realised what he was implying.
“I could?” you asked, hearing Gen’s breathless laugh on the other end of the line.
“Yeah,” she agreed. “You could.”
You’d just got out of the shower when there was a knock on your hotel room door.
You were only in a towel, your hair dripping down your back, so you called out for them to give you a minute.
You pulled on a sweater - one of Gen’s that you’d only just noticed she’d added to your case - and a pair of sleep shorts. It wasn’t what you wanted to be wearing, but you didn’t want to leave whoever was at the door waiting for too long.
You ran your hands through your wet hair as you walked to the door, opening with an apology on your lips.
Briana cut off your apology by pulling you into a hug.
“Woah, hey,” you smiled as she pulled back. “Good to see you, too.”
“What’s new, hot mama?” Kim asked, pushing past the two of you and making herself comfortable in your room.
You laughed softly, letting Briana in and closing the door behind you.
“To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?” you asked, perching on the arm of the couch that they’d thrown themselves onto.
“You’re part of the ‘Hot Supernatural Mama’s Club’ now,” Briana told you, and you raised an eyebrow.
“There’s a club?” you asked, and Kim laughed.
“Not officially,” she told you. “But, you know, congrats on the baby.”
You nodded, running a hand over your small bump through the sweater.
“Thanks,” you smiled. “But I didn’t do all the work, Jared should get half the credit.”
Their eyes shot to each other for a moment, before looking back at you.
“Ah,” you cringed. “I thought… I thought you knew.”
“We did not,” Kim told you, sitting up straighter.
You sighed, shaking your head.
“We can keep a secret,” Briana assured you.
“I know, and most of the current cast and crew know anyway. Other than the Supernatural people it’s still hush-hush,” you explained. “Jared’s the father. And I’m kinda… in a relationship with him and Gen.”
They nodded slowly, before a smirk found it’s way onto Kim’s face.
“Sounds hot,” she teased, and you laughed.
“You have no idea.”
She rolled her eyes when Briana’s jaw dropped open, changing the subject to what they really came to your room for.
“Have you looked at the schedule?” Kim asked, and you shook your head.
“I was gonna check it when I was out of the shower but…” you trailed off, your wet hair finishing your sentence for you.
“You’ve got a solo panel tomorrow,” she explained, and your entire demeanor changed.
“Wh-” you cleared your throat, “What?”
“It’s about time, really,” Briana admitted. “You’re main cast, sweetie.”
You shook your head, laughing awkwardly.
“Do you think the organisers realise how much the fans hate me?” you joked, but Kim didn’t find it funny.
“We have our duo ops during your panel,” she told you. “So we can’t even just force our way onto the stage.”
“We heard what happened with Kat last time,” Briana added. “We wanted to check up on you, but-”
“I’ll be able to handle it,” you insisted. “If anybody starts on me, I’ll get security to ask them to leave. It’ll be okay.”
They both nodded, unsure.
“You also have a panel with Misha on Sunday,” Kim informed you. “Which, honestly, I’m unsure whether that’s better or worse than being alone.”
You laughed, shaking your head and looking down at your feet, wiggling your toes. You wondered, absently, how long it would be before your bump obscured the view.
“Anyway,” Briana smiled, getting to her feet. “Put some pants on, we’re going out.”
You raised an eyebrow, and she grinned.
“Supernatural Hot Mama’s Club, plus Katherine. We’re going out for drinks,” she told you, and you laughed, shaking your head.
“I’m very much not going to be drinking,” you reminded her, but she just shrugged.
“Then you can have a Coke or something.”
“I’m on low caffeine, too,” you admitted, and they rolled their eyes.
“Jesus, then a Sprite, whatever,” Kim told you. “Come out with us. We’ll get food. It’ll be fun.”
You agreed when you realised they weren’t giving up on it.
“What kinda hippy-ass diet have the Padaleckis got you on?” Briana murmured as you ushered her towards the door so you could get changed.
“One suitable for pregnant women that have no idea what they’re doing,” you shot back, and she laughed, hugging you again before patting your bump as she left.
“We’ll be back in fifteen. You better be dressed.”
You laughed, hugging Kim back and kissing her cheek as she followed Briana out into the hallway.
Kim was right, it was fun, and on Saturday morning you were grateful that you couldn’t drink.
You were tired enough from jet lag as it was, you weren’t sure you’d be able to cope with a hangover as well.
Luckily, all you had to do that morning was autographs.
You tried to interact with people - as much as the event staff would let you - so that their experience was as good as it should be for the price they paid.
You knew that you were down as a ‘special guest’, which meant that no level of ticket at this convention included an autograph or picture with you, so anybody in your line had paid extra just for this moment.
You answered questions about the baby when they weren’t too personal, and other questions about the show when you could without giving anything away.
One little girl nearly made you slip up, but you managed to recover it when she asked why you couldn’t tell anyone who the daddy was.
“It’s not fair for me to make that part of his life public,” you explained, gently. “Not yet, anyway.”
“Is he shy?” she asked, looking up at you with big, concerned eyes.
“He is quite shy, yeah,” you agreed, smiling sadly. “But he loves me and Baby Ditto very much, and that’s all that matters, right?”
She nodded, smiling as you signed her poster and handed it back to her.
Something in her innocence, in the lack of judgement in her expression and the concern radiating from her, made you want to tell her the truth.
But, then again, there were hundreds of people in that room - not to mention a PA you barely knew right next to you - so it was better you kept it to yourself.
They’d find out in time, anyway.
Your heart was racing as you walked out on stage, smiling and waving to the fans as if you weren’t silently freaking the fuck out.
You sat yourself down in the stool in the middle of the stage, and waited for the applause to die down.
Once there was a lull, you brought your mic to your lips to say hi.
“I miss Kat,” was what you said, instead.
The crowd started to laugh, and you let out a huff of amusement at yourself.
“I’m not kidding,” you admitted. “She’s like my comfort blanket at these things.”
“You’ll be great!” someone shouted, causing the people around her to clap and cheer.
“I honestly have no idea what to talk about for the next forty minutes,” you replied. “I need help on stage or y’all are gonna find out what a dork I am.”
You noticed the fans lined up at the side of the hall, realising that the first was being kept back by some of the event staff until you were ready to take some questions.
“Oh, please,” you told them, “Let them ask questions now, I have nothing interesting or funny to say. I need some help.”
The crowd laughed, and you smiled, wishing it wasn’t as true as it was.
The first girl stepped up to the mic.
“Hi,” she smiled. “My name’s Emily.”
“Hey, I’m Y/N,” you replied, and she laughed softly.
“My question is kind of boring,” she admitted. “I was wondering where your accent came from? Your IMDb says you’re from Los Angeles, but you don’t sound Californian.”
“Where’s yours from?” you asked, hedging the question for a bit.
“Cambridge,” she told you, blushing. “Well, just south of there.”
You nodded.
“Y’all here sound so much fancier than me,” you told them, and the crowd laughed. “I’m serious, like y’all don’t even have to try and it sounds like you got a Masters from Caltech or something.”
You waited for the laughter to die down before finally answering her question.
“I’m actually from Oklahoma,” you told her, nodding when her eyes said ‘really?’. “Born and raised. I moved to LA when I was eighteen.”
“With your family?” Emily asked and you cleared your throat.
“No, ah- on my own,” you corrected. “It was a clean slate, fresh start kind of thing.”
She nodded, thanked you for answering her question, and then left to find her seat again as the next fan took to the mic.
“Hey, it’s kind of a continuation of the last question,” he mentioned, and you nodded. “When you sign autographs, you don’t use your last name. Is that… is that a conscious thing?”
You pulled in a long breath.
You’d wanted questions, and you were getting them, but you didn’t really want to be talking about this.
“I, uh,” you forced a short laugh. “It’s conscious, yeah. I don’t associate myself with that name, really.”
He nodded in understanding.
“So, your baby-”
“Two minutes,” you interrupted, grinning. “Sorry, I had a bet with Briana to see how long my panel would go before the baby was mentioned. Sorry, continue.”
He laughed softly, a blush rising on his cheeks.
“Will your baby take your name?”
“No,” you said, more blunt than you intended under the circumstances. “Sorry, no, my surname ends with me. Baby Ditto will take its father’s name.”
He nodded, looking like he wanted to say something else but not wanting to push his luck.
“What is it?” you asked, kindly. “C’mon, I don’t scare easy.”
“I was just thinking… isn’t it lonely?” he asked. “Not talking to your family? Your parents?”
You shook your head.
“It’s… it used to be,” you allowed. “But now… it’s different. Danneel called me, earlier. Just while we were breaking for lunch, she’d just woken up with the twins so she called to check on me.”
‘Aww’s went around the hall, and you smiled, nodding.
“She’s the only mom I need, y’know?”
The fan at the mic nodded, apologising for the personal questions.
“It’s okay,” you assured him, and he thanked you before leaving the line.
The next girl stepped up as your phone started buzzing in your pocket.
“Shit, sorry, one sec,” you smiled, pulling your phone out to see Danneel trying to connect with a FaceTime call. “Speak of the devil.”
You answered the call with your mic to your lips, ready to talk to Danneel on stage and tease her for interrupting your panel.
To your surprise, JJ’s face lit up the screen.
“Uh, Tex, what are you doing with Mommy’s phone?” you asked, and the crowd burst out laughing.
“Mommy said I could play on it,” she told you, looking very proud of herself.
“Does calling me count as playing?” you asked, and she shrugged.
“She said I could talk to you later,” she offered. “And… it’s later, Ditto.”
‘Aww’s flooded the room once more, and JJ frowned at you.
“Wassat?” she asked.
You stood up, turning around so that she could see the audience.
“I’m on stage, sweetie,” you explained as the people behind you waved.
She lifted a hand and waved back, still confused.
“Can I call you back in a bit?” you asked, and she nodded as you turned back to sit on the stool.
“Yeah,” she sighed, over-dramatic. Jensen had told you that was something she’d learnt from you, but you’d deny it until the day you died even though he was definitely right. “I just miss ya.”
“I miss you, too,” you smiled sadly.
“Is Baby Ditto okay? Have you been eatin’ veggies?” she asked, and you laughed softly, feeling yourself start to blush.
“Yes I have, sweetie,” you assured her,  turning your phone to face the audience. “Can you say bye-bye to all these people?”
“Yah, bye!”
There were calls of ‘goodbye’ from damn-near everyone in that hall, and you smiled as you turned the phone back to face you, seeing JJ’s grinning face.
“What kinda veggies?” she pressed, and you laughed fondly.
“I’ll talk to you later, okay?” you asked, and she nodded. “Alright, I love you.”
“I love you more,” she replied, automatically.
“And I love you most,” you responded, tapping your lips with two fingers before tapping the camera, and she did the same. “Bye, Tex.”
“See ya later.”
You hung up, putting your phone in your pocket before smiling an apology to the fan at the mic.
“Sorry about that. I promised I’d talk to her every day, and she gets a little impatient,” you laughed awkwardly, and she shook her head.
“That was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen,” she told you, and the crowd cheered in agreement. “And it actually works well, because my question was about the nicknames.”
You smiled, nodding.
“Ditto and Tex?” you asked, and she nodded. “It… Tex is just short for ‘Texas’. JJ’s got the cutest lil’ accent, so I’d been calling her ‘Lil Miss Texas’ and it kinda shortened from there.”
“And Ditto?” she questioned.
You couldn’t help but smile.
“Her dad calls me ‘kiddo’ more often than he calls me ‘Y/N’,” you explained. “The morning after I moved in, they told me I was gonna have to look after JJ all day-”
“Ditto daycare!” someone called out, and you laughed.
“Yeah, Ditto daycare,” you agreed. “But yeah, Jensen and JJ came into my room and she misheard ‘kiddo’ and called me ‘Ditto’. From then it’s stuck. The whole family calls the baby ‘Baby Ditto’.”
“That’s… really cute,” she told you, grinning. “You guys make such a cute family.”
“Tex is my best girl,” you agreed. “I’m lucky to have her as part of my family, now.”
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jensen-jarpad · 7 years
Text
Following The Colorful Paws
Title: Following the Colorful Paws
Author: @jensen-jarpad
Characters: Jensen x Reader
Word Count: 1033
Warnings: NONE! The only thing you’ll find here is pure fluff from beginning to end
A/N: This is my fic for Elsie’s challenge ( @sleepywinchester ) <3 The “prompt” is “your URL + Easter”. Hope you all enjoy
Feedback is always appreciated! ❤
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“DADDY!!! MOMMY!!! WAKE UP!” - Your four year old daughter was jumping on your bed and shaking your shoulder like the world was going to end. - “Wake uuuuuuup!!!”
“Ugh!” - Jensen grumbled, trying to open his eyes - “What’s going on?”
“Daisy, sweetheart, calm down, you’re gonna fall off the bed!” - You said, grabbing a hold of your daughter’s waist and bringing her to lay between you and Jensen. She whined and started to wiggle her way out of your grip.
“The bunny was here!!! There are footprints beside my bed and they go to the stairs! I wanna follow the paws, mommy!” - Jensen smiled at your daughter’s excitement and clapped his hands together.
“Alright! Then let’s follow them.” - She squealed and jumped off the bed, running towards her room and putting shoes on.
“So… that’s what you were doing last night instead of coming to bed?” - You asked your husband, while putting some clothes on. He gave you a little smile and nodded.
“And the bunny left different color prints, so, you can go looking for the white ones!”
Your husband left the room leaving you with a childish smile growing on your face. He knew you loved Easter egg hunts since you were a kid and he always hid your basket.
“Mommy, come on! I already found one!!!” - You heard your daughter call from the bottom of the stairs.
“That’s great, he left you a basket too?” - She nodded and showed you the basket with one pink egg on it. - “Go on then, let’s find the others”
She followed the paws and found all the eggs, her excitement would grow every time she found another, making yours and Jensen’s smile grow bigger and bigger.
You were now sitting on your backyard, Daisy checking the candy inside the eggs and picking the egg she liked best, because it was “soooooo pretty!!!!”.
“Hey daddy” - She looked up at Jensen.
“Yeah, baby?” - She pointed at something a few feet away from you and you both turned to look.
“Are those more paws?” - Jensen smiled and nodded.
“Yep, they are! The bunny told me that there are four different colors around the house. One was for you, the pink ones. Then there is the white ones, he said those are for mommy to follow, and the blue and green are for Tom and Shep.” - Your smile was so big. You loved your husband so much! All the work he put on making this special was making your heart swell.
“Go follow the paws, mommy!!!” - Daisy jumped from the floor, grabbed your hand and pulled you towards the footprints.
~
“Mommy?” - Daisy asked with a mouth full of waffles. You looked at her and she was staring at your basket - “Can you give me some of your eggs and I’ll give you some of mine? Yours are prettier!” - You and Jensen chuckles and you agreed to trade after she finishing eating breakfast.
“Okay, sweetie. Go get changed, uncle Jared will be here soon.” - She ran upstairs, excited to see her friends.
“Hey… I didn’t hide yours nor painted paws for you to follow, but here it is. Happy Easter!” - You gave Jay his basket and he pulled you towards him.
“Thanks, babe!”
“I love you so much for doing all of this. You’re amazing!”
“I have the plan to be the best dad in the world, you know?” - He said, putting the basket in the counter, besides yours. You grinned at the little smirk playing on his lips and hugged him again.
“You already are!”
~
“Happy Easter!!!” - Jared said when you opened the door. Gen was standing beside him, both of them carrying a lot of bags. You and Jensen hugged them and told them to come in, while their kids had already ran inside and were sitting beside Daisy in the living room.
“Daddy said the Easter bunny hid things for you two here!” - You heard your daughter say as the four of you got inside.
“He left something for you at our house too!” - Tom said - “Right daddy?”
“Yeah! And Tom followed the paws and found it for you, here it is!” - Jared held the basket out for her and she got up, running towards him.
“Thanks unca Jared!” - She ran back to the boys and hugged Tom - “And thanks for finding it for me! Do you want me to help you find yours?” - Tom and Shep nodded and the three of them ran to the backyard to follow the footprints.
~
You and Gen were cleaning the kitchen after lunch while the kids played in the backyard. Jensen and Jared decided to go live on facebook, so they were in the living room.
“Hey yall!” - Jensen greeted.
“Hi! Jensen and @jarpad here!” - Jensen sighed at Jared introductions.
“You know your real name is Jared, right?”
“Leave me alone, dude!” - They chuckled and continued to talk for a little, reading some comments and having fun for a while.
“Alright, we gotta go. Hope you guys are having an awesome day. We already followed the paws here” - Jensen said.
“Yep, the kids found their candy and we found out we regret giving it to them!”
“Talk about sugar high!” - Jensen raised an eyebrow.
“Anyway, Happy Easter, everybody!”
“Happy Easter! Bye” - Jensen waved at the camera and finished and livestream.
~
“Today was awesome!” - You said, laying in bed beside your husband.
“It really was. The kids loved to follow the paws.”
“So did I.” - You kissed him and he smiled.
“Would you help me erase the paws tomorrow morning?”
“I’ll help you.” - He cupped your cheek and brought you closer to him, kissing you lightly. - “Oh… and next year, I was thinking you could add like, purple paws or another color?!”
“Why?” - His faced was filled with confusion, but it all faded away and turned into amazement and happiness once you grabbed his hand and put it over your belly.
“So this little one can follow!”
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maspwinj2 · 7 years
Note
hey! I just wanted to say upfront that this definitely isn't an argument or anything. I know sometimes things sound rude bc it's text and not spoken, so I just wanted to say that ahead. your one of my favorite bloggers, so I just wanted to get your thoughts. you said #what will those kids feel when they find out the truth? but, maybe they already know. not the whole story, but j2 seem like their raising them like their all collectively as their children. and I don't think (1/2)
(2/2) they’d pretend in front of the kids. like when they went on that island vacay for new years and the wives weren’t there, I can’t imagine they kept their hands off each other the whole time, not even holding hands. and they prob sleep in the same bed when in Austin. so wouldn’t the kids would know that? I can’t imagine them not acting like husbands and fathers of all the kids in front of the kids, you know? what do you think?
Oh my god anon i’m so sorry! you sent me this like 7weeks ago and i’m only answering now… the thing is that when you sent it istarted answering with a very long messy rambling and i didn’t post itimmediately to reread and correct it but the day after that, all the lolliebullshit started (i’m still so pissed about all that ugh) and it sucked all myenergy so i couldn’t get back to your ask and when that babygate shit was moreor less over i tried to make a better answer but i just couldn’t??? ireally tried but i never could make a satisfying answer and so i think it’stime i give it up because i’ve been thinking about all the different aspects but im never pleased with what i write… i just don’t know!! i think i’ve lost any ability tomake a proper understandable explanation of what i think and i’m even moresorry because this is actually a very nice ask! thanks! you were very nice and i failedyou! im sorry and maybe now you’ve unfollowed me so there’s no way you’d seethat i actually wanted to answer you T-T
But im gonna answer about the first part of your ask.You’re talking about what i wrote in the tags of this post, when i said “the truth” i wasn’t talking about the kids knowing that jared and jensen are together but more about the kids realising they’re being used to sell the straight image of their fathers, im pretty sure they don’t know about that truth yet haha
like for example with this pic of shep making J/G “kiss”. shep must have been like “why should i make you kiss when you never do it in real life???” and when he’s older he’ll get that he was just being used like a tool for his parents’ bearding. that’s why i wonder how will that make him feel? or with that ad jared did where he used tom and shep to prove he has the perfect straight family (and now you can add the popandsuki video with poor odette being used right after her birth with her brothers) or with this jj pic that she will remember as a nice birthday with her parents but when she’s older she’ll see they used it to project this fake idea to the world that they have a totally traditionnal family 
that’s what i was talking about, if i were those kids i would feel really hurt/upset when i understand i was unknowingly being involved in all those lies and fakeness for the benefits of my parents
And now about the rest of your ask and about the truth of the kids knowing j2 are together well, to be very short :no i don’t think the kids know about j2 nor do they have doubts and i don’tthink j2 have any kind of romantic gesture towards each other in front of thekids either and i put under the cut the reasons why i think this way because it’sa very long rambling and no one should suffer the pain of reading all of it, i don’t evenknow if any of it make sense and again im sorry because this is a veryinteresting question and i should have answered way earlier, honestly mea culpa
but just a warning that at the end there’s the usual j2 negativity because they’re using their kids and that’s just gross and also i make a comparison with cristiano ronaldo cos i think he’s the perfect example of a closeted gay man succeeding in having a family. 
So… about if the kids know the truth : i believe theydont
 i think that j2 are letting the kids assume they’re inlove with the moms, we see with the pictures and video they post in which thekids witness their parents acting like a couple and the kids , just like thegeneral public, believe it. They are letting our heteronormative society do thejob so the kids think « i have a mom and a dad who spend time togetherwith me so they must be in love » it’s the logical thought process mostpeople have
J2 are lying by omission to their kids so that the kids willnever go and talk to their friends or teachers like « mom and dad aren’t inlove but dad is in love with my uncle » . If the kids believe their bio parents are in love theyll never be able to sell j2’s secret so its notsurprising j2 do that to protect this secret they’ve had for so long, ruiningit by letting their guards down around their kids would be a waste. They’re notgonna take such an unecessary risk and it’s way easier to let the kids form thesame opinion that the public has because what can they possibly say to explainsuch a situation « so kids if you see dad kiss and cuddle with your uncleand sleep in the same bed , while you never see dad do the same with mom whenthere are no cameras around : it’s PERFECTLY normal ! don’t worry !But there’s  one very important thing youmust remember : it’s that you must NEVER EVER talk about that toanyone !! EVER !!! » ??? it would be so confusing for thosepoor kids ! and if they ever see j2 kiss it’s 100 % sure that they willtalk about it to someone imo.
-About acting like fathers : J2 love their kids likefathers and act like fathers BUT they are the « uncle » (NOT the dadaor papa) to 3 of them so if the kids saw their dad and uncle kiss, they are obviouslygoing to mention it to someone. It’s SURE. To me calling the other jay uncle isa proof that the kids don’t know
-About not keeping their hands to themselves : if j2 canhandle not touching/kissing during filming and conventions and everytimethey’re in public im more than certain that they don’t have any troublebehaving when with their kids and even if they did act very touchy and allwhile not acting this way with the mom there’s still no reason for the kids tobelieve that « my dad and my uncle are in love » because again wereally are in a heteronormative society where same sex people doing very lovingand tender stuff are just « guys being dudes » and « galpals » (and j2 take advantage of that to hide so that even with ALL thetime they spend together people still think they’re straight and that includestheir kids) And they’re not pretending in front of their kids, they don’t kissthe wives when there are no cameras around but that doesn’t mean that they’dkiss each other in front of the kids either you know ? it’s not becausethey don’t kiss or hold hands that they’re pretending. Again to me it’s justletting the kids assume that it’s the mom and the dad who are together and notthe dad and uncle because the most common occurance is the hetero couple evenif those two guys spend all their time together and go to vacations alone withthe kids (and im sure j2 sleep in the same bed, they could simply forbid the kids to go there because adults are allowed to ask for their privacy even from their kids imo)
-about acting like husbands, well when you’re building yourlife with someone and spending all your time together, being touchy and cuddly(in public and in front of their kids) seems pretty anecdotic to me. I f theymanage time to work on their intimate relationship or act romantic in private,Im sure they can handle keeping their hands to themselves when they’re takingcare of their kids, they’ve been doing that for 12 years and it must be hardsometimes but it’s the price they chose to pay to keep working on spn and theywon’t take the risk of being outed by their kids or of messing with their kids’heads just so they can hold hands
-About raising the kids as family : Im sure the kids cansee that j2 love each other but they don’t get the extent of this love and imsure they see j2 love all of them but i think j2 spend more time with their biokids than with the others for bearding purposes and if you went to jj and askher if tom and shep are her brothers im sure she’ll be like ??? no theyremy best friends or something like that and if you ask her who her parents areshe won’t include jared and same for tom and shep with jensen
What really makes me believe they hide their truerelationship to the kids is that it’d really confuse them because if the kidssaw j2 kiss , j2 would have to discuss and explain this situation (because ontv and in their lives the kids never see other peoples dad and uncle kiss, orpeople who are not married and not officially dating kiss each other, or ifthey do see that they must know it’s cheating and dishonest and overall weird,if j2 did that the kids would know it’s not a normal situation and would askquestions either to j2 or people around them which would lead to j2 beingouted) but the kids are way too young to understand what’s at stake and if j2let the kids see them kiss and still NOT explain what’s the deal. It would beSO confusing and very unhealthy to leave the kids with unanswered questions andadd the risk of outing to all that
-end with the usual j2 negativity whenever the kids arebrought up :
Let’s be real the way j2 use their kids like tools to hidetheir lifestyle and like « proof » of their straightness iscompletely DESPICABLE . You can argue all you want aboutthem « not having a choice », « but they really love theirkids », bla bla bla at the end of the day i don’t see how j2 can feelanything but shame for using their kids like that
And togo back to the tags i wrote « how would they feel » well i thinkthey’ll feel awful and used by their fathers because of their terrible decisionmaking skills. And it must be awful to find out when you’re older that yourparents have lied to you for YEARS 
Im pretty sure no one in the lgbt community would condonewhat j2 are doing, the lies they are furthering THANKS to their kids. Even ifj2 came out, i doubt the community will be proud of what they’ve done, thelenghts they went to (involving kids) to hide their sexuality
And if you want a comparison to know how a closeted gay man can have a kid without using said kid to further his straight image just look atCristiano ronaldo. He’s working in THE most homophobic business EVER and yet he’snot married to a woman, he has beards but he’s not pretending to raise his kid (thathe had with an anonymous surrogate) with a woman. Hes not affraid of postingfamily pics and being constantly seen with his long term partner ricky regufe.He’s not trying so hard to sell the perfect family image like j2 have done andhe did not get stupidly trapped by greedy beards like j2 did
J2 are incredibly nice and hard working guys and they don’tdeserve to live like this but involvinginnocent kids in this mess is just wrong
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meggannn · 7 years
Note
Hiya! This is so cringey and I'm like balling up just typing this considering I never send anything to anyone's ask box but I just wanted let you know that Across the Hellespont Strait was one of the best pieces I've ever read and I feel like a changed woman haha. :^) It was so great that I was compelled to hit you up and scream at you about how beautifully written and poignant it was despite my social anxiety hahah! Usually I'm really picky about fics so I scarcely feel invested enough (1)
to even finish reading them if I find they’re a teensy bit out-of-character, but your portrayal of Garrus was just so spot on that I finished reading, reread, and then desperately craved more. I find that so many of the Shakarian “greats” have a stellar superficial understanding of his character, but you went above and beyond, digging deeper and fleshing out his character beyond just the bare bones of who he is. (2)
Your prose was also so tender-hearted and masterful that I really felt myself moved for the first time in a while—to tears, even. So thank you so so so much for writing for Shakarian and brightening my day. Can’t wait for your future pieces! c: (3)
I have been staring at this in my inbox for the past day because I don’t know how to respond to it when people flatter me like this, but needless to say, THANK YOU for this message!!!
I think I started writing Hellespont as a result of spending so much time in waffling through Shep/Garrus-drama-for-plot-reasons in another fic of mine, that I really wanted to dabble in a one-shot that just cut to the heart of who he is while not sacrificing depth. I’m so glad that came across the way I hoped!! and that you weren’t put off by the overindulgent melodrama that pervades every single one of my fics
I do have some future Shepard/Garrus fics I want to pursue in the future but a lot of them are longer pieces, so if you decide you’re interested I hope the length won’t dissuade you! In the meantime I really just have what’s on my AO3 and in my writing snippets tag (I should really clean up my writing on this blog into some form of system...... sigh)
If it’s at all helpful, I wrote up a list of S/G fic recs that I love to bits a little while ago -- some you may have seen before but there are definitely others in there that do Garrus!voice a million times better than I do :D
Gosh I still don’t know how to thank you enough for this sweet message. And for the enthusiasm in your tags, I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen someone that excited about something I’ve written and it really means a lot to me, so THANK YOU xoxo
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Travelin’ Soldier Part 2
Travelin’ Soldier Part 2 Summary: Reader is currently deployed in the army to an undisclosed combat area. She has been deployed for nearly two years. Anxiously awaiting her return is her husband and brother as they film for Supernatural. Letter comes informing the family that she may not be heard from for awhile and soon devastating news comes.
Characters: husband!Jensen x Reader, Jared x Reader (Twins), Gen, Shepherd and Thomas.
Disclaimer: I do not own the title of the song Travelin’ Soldier by the Dixie Chicks at all. I simply thought it could be a little fighting. Not hate towards Danneel either, as this is simply fiction and not real.
Warnings: possible swearing, war and angst.
Author: Caitsy
Tagging a few at the end. I suppose I could start a tag list. Send an ask or message to @caitsymichelle13!
A/N:  I want to thank you so much for the support you have sent to Ash and I! I was reading the comments on part 1 and I sat there fangirling over every single note I saw! My heart was broken writing this part, and too be honest I didn’t know if I could write another part. I want to thank you @trustnobodyshootfirst for helping me in the decision. Let me know if you want more!
Part One
Masterlist
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Y/N woke up shivering in the cold room she was in, the chill was the exact opposite of the conditions outside. She wasn’t sure how much time had gone by since the failed mission. She believe it had been a long time given one of the bruises on her leg was now so faded she almost forgot she had it. Her lip was cracked from the split down the centre and from licking them so much.
Her head ached but never quite as much as her heart did. She had broken her promise to her family on coming home safe. She didn’t know if she would survive however long it had been. The only mercy her captors had shown was the food tray abandoned by the door. Y/N remembered a former soldier having been tortured for days on end and yelling in his sleep on the minimal food he got.
The chains around her bare ankles were rubbed raw from the struggles to break free. Long ago she had given up trying to get out of them. Instead she would sit on the dirt ground trying to draw up a plan to escape.
She regretted not starting a family with Jensen when she had the chance, but at the same time she couldn’t regret serving her country. It was in her blood with many members having fought in the world wars and the Vietnam war. She had struggled as a teen wondering what to do with her life, she wanted to do something that would leave a mark whatever the size. Jared, her twin brother, had gone on to be an actor. She had decided to join the army when a member of the army had came to give a presentation during the end of her junior year. She had never regretted her decision since.
She remembered having to sit down with her family near the end of senior year to give the news following the conversation with her parents. Her parents had been asking her about colleges and career decisions since the end of sophomore year.
April had come with balmy weather as to be expected, this was one of her favourite times of the year. It represented a change before school ended for the year. Senior year had gone by just as fast, if not more, as her parents had told her. It also brought complications with her future.
Y/N had always struggled in school to find her purpose. She wasn’t stellar as school work and math was something she didn’t have the best marks in but she had high grades. She enjoyed being on a few sports teams even if she wasn’t entirely dedicated. It was a shock when she got athletic scholarship offers from a few different colleges but even though her Dad hoped she attend one she wasn’t sure.
She knew what she wanted to do but she didn’t think it would go over well with her family. The minute that presentation on the army had commenced during her sophomore year she had known what she dreamed of doing. Well over a year had passed since that fateful hour so many moons ago. She had managed somehow to ask the right questions before deciding it was time to talk to her family.
That’s why her parents, older brother Jeff, her younger sister Megan and Jared were sitting in the well accommodating living room patiently waiting for Y/N to explain.
“I know you guys have been nervous about me. I’ve never given an answer as to what I want to do with my life. What college I should attend and what career I should do. I didn’t know for quite some time.” Y/N shakily explained nervously rubbing her clammy hands on her jeans.
“Where’s this going?” Her Dad, Gerald, questioned clasping his hands together.
“Okay, Jared do you remember that presentation back at the end of sophomore year?”
“Um…the one on drugs?” Jared slowly questioned.
“No. The one about…um…the army.” Y/N meekly said looking at the varying emotions flitting across everyone’s face.
“T-the arm-army?” Her mother, Sharon, questioned paling at the news.
“Yeah. It really hit home with me.” Y/N took a deep breath in, “I want to join. I’ve been inquiring on everything about it.”
“No!” Jared announced feeling the utter fear invade his body. He didn’t want his sister risking her life.
Sharon broke into tears at the news, she hadn’t expected this heart wrenching news. All she could do was huddle into her husband’s arms as the emotions rushed through her. Jeff and Megan sat stoic seeing the reactions happening before each let one tear fall down. Gerald was scared but proud at the same time.
“Are you sure?” He asked his second oldest. His little dragonfly had always been feisty growing up wanting to match her twin in everything.
“Yeah. I am.” Y/N smiled at her father, “I want to fight for my country. I’m joining no matter what and I’m sorry if it hurts but I have to do this.”
“I know dragonfly.” Gerald said hugging his daughter tightly allowing some tears to fall before pulling back and smiling, “I love you.”
“I love you too.” She whispered to her Dad before turning to her family.
“I’m doing this for my country. Please understand, I’m coming home everytime. I’ll walk in that door in one piece I promise.”
〰️〰️〰️
The Padalecki and Ackles families waited for any kind of news. One month passed with nothing, another passed. Soon summer turned to fall and the leaves fell creating beautiful colours on the ground. The boys, not understanding why their family was upset, would jump into the piles as their Dad raked them up.
They never gave up home on their soldier. It become mechanical to thank the fans at every convention, Jared and Jensen appreciated the support but it didn’t stop the pain. They went on with their days trying to ensure the young boys would remember their aunt. It was hard when the snow fell and thanksgiving passed by in the blink of an eye.
Jensen would have to leave the room whenever Shep or Tom brought up Y/N. He would have nightmares that caused him to throw up after. It become needed to have a bucket beside the couch, no longer could he sleep in their bedroom.
He had no recollection of time anymore. He still held out hope even after Y/N had been pronounced dead; a little over a year after her disappearance. No news came about her anymore and it was soon believed she had died. No body was found either.
He went about his everyday life like a zombie, he nearly a goddamn robot on set. He would wake up from a nightmare unable to go to sleep again, stay up watching the sunrise with a coffee that churned in his stomach. He would go to work, and come home to repeat the day again.
When she was pronounced KIA she was no longer brought up in conversation in fear of setting Jensen or Jared into a nervous breakdown. Overtime the memory of Y/N faded from her nephews minds; it wasn’t on purpose but they just didn’t understand.
Summer came and with that so did a break for Supernatural. Jensen loathed this because it caused a lot of time to think about his wife. It brought heartbreak when his friends tried to set him up on blind dates. God he remembered the first time it was brought up.
A month after the announcement of Y/N’s presumed death Jensen had been dragged out of a local football team. His friend’s son had a football game and he wanted Jensen to watch the opening game of the new year. He was watching dully as he pictured what his and Y/N son would have played. He almost didn’t hear Jason’s voice in his ear.
“She’s a nice girl. Very pretty and kind. She’s the new teacher at the elementary school.” Jason said clapping with the rest of the crowd, “Jenny bumped into her in the grocery store. Struck up a conversation. You should go out with her.”
“What?” Jensen snapped in shock at the words he was hearing.
“It’s a blind date. Y/N-“
“Don’t say her name.” Jensen croaked feeling tears well up.
“One date. You don’t have to propose to the girl. Just have a drink with her. Tonight, at the bar. She’ll be wearing a blue scarf and glasses. Her name is Eleanor.” Jason sighed.
“I c-can’t.” Jensen mumbled closing his eyes.
“Consider this the favour you owe me.” Jason stated before cheering for his son.
Jensen did as Jason asked and showed up on the dot at the bar. Within seconds he had found the dark haired woman sitting in a booth. She was pretty, he would admit to that. Kind face, and he didn’t want to be rude but he would probably describe her as on the plus side with rich chocolate skin. She was a mixture of confident and insecure. He ordered his favourite brand of beer and walked towards her booth.
“Eleanor?” Jensen cautiously questioned. He felt almost dirty even standing near her.
“Ugh. Ellie please.” Eleanor’s silky voice replied, “Always hated the name. I’m guessing you’re Jensen?”
“Uh-Yeah.” He mumbled sitting down in the opposite of the their booth.
“It’s nice to meet you!” Ellie grinned showcasing slightly crooked teeth and shining eyes.
“You-you too.” Jensen mumbled not meeting her eyes as his picked at the label on his beer.
The conversation was okay. She didn’t remind him of Y/N yet at the same time she did. She loved children and told funny stories of the the kids. However the entire time all Jensen could feel was as if he was betraying his wife, cheating on her or her memory.
“Wanna get out of here?” Ellie questioned. Her implication was clear as her hooded eyes drank in the view of the gorgeous man in front of her.
“No.” Jensen gulped feeling the tears well up.
“It’s okay to have fun.” Ellie calmly said putting her hand on Jensen’s arm, “It doesn’t mean you’re cheating-“
“This was a mistake.” Jensen choked out turning on his heel and quickly returning to his car. The car that still had the faintest smell of Y/N perfume.
He broke down in that car. He hit the steering wheel and screamed at himself and Y/N. When his head rested on the steering wheel, his broken voice pleaded to bring his Y/N back. He pleaded her to forgive him for yelling at her memory and meeting another woman.
〰️〰️〰️ Dear Y/N,
A year has gone by. Fall came, the boys love to jump into the leaves. God you’d love hearing the boys being Captain America and Iron Man. They’ve become obsessed with the superheroes. You wouldn’t believe how it happened.
Gen and I were in the kitchen talking about the baby. We had a beautiful baby girl. Born on your birthday. We named her after you, her middle name is your first name. She’s gorgeous with her beautiful eyes that remind me so much of yours. The day she was born was a time of both pain and celebration.
Anyway I’ve gotten off topic! We were in the kitchen when we heard a swear from the living room, in typical fashion we rushed into the living room. Tom had managed to turn the tv show to a movie of marvel. The one about the battle of New York I think. They refuse to not play as the heroes. It’s adorable. Reminds me of us pretending to be Power Rangers. God I miss those times.
Jensen’s going alright as much as he can. It’s painful for him you know. Jason, you remember him right? Well he’s been pushing Jensen to go on a blind date. You know Jensen though. Completely stubborn. Refuses to go but I also know that you would want him to happy and find someone. Don’t hate me but I caught a part of one of the letters you sent him. I promise in four years in he hasn’t found someone I’ll try and get to start to find someone. I promise.
Mom and Dad are doing good also. They’ve begun to return to their routine, both have pain in their eyes but we won’t give up on you. I would never give up on you. Jeff and Megan are dating some good people. You’d love them because you have the largest heart of anyone I know. Probably bigger than Sam Winchester! Anyway I better go.
It’s my turn to change my baby girl’s diaper. I’ll write you soon I promise.
With Love,
Your twin.
Jared wiped a tear away sealing on the many letter he had and placing it in a box to join the others. It was therapeutic for him to write letter for his sister. Helped him in a way and it find almost like he was communicating with you. God did he miss you and it broke him every night. You didn’t get to meet your niece and her eyes reminded him so much of you.
Part Three
@trustnobodyshootfirst @iamnotsaneatall @winchesterfanfiction @yesterday-was-tuesday @nyx-universe @soobi89 @writer-picks-the-music @trashling101 @deanwinchesterisamazing @tas898 @essie1876 @lovemesomepie85 @cityofsobbingfangirls
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bitchsike1 · 8 years
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Between Heaven and Hell part 1
Word count: 1674
Pairing: Jared X Reader, Misha X Jensen, Genevieve Padalecki (mentioned)
Warnings: Cheating, language, I think that’s it? Let me know if I miss one
Note: this is my first fic ever, hope you like it.  I don’t have anything against Daneel and Gen, they are awesome.
And a huge thanks to @exorcisethedemons she will be helping me with this series, she is awesome and I love her so thank you !! <333
Y/N’s POV
This wasn’t supposed to happen.
How did you end up here?
The last thing you remember was being at the bar after the con in New Jersey, and now you were in bed with some random guy that slightly resembles Chewbacca. To make things worse, whoever had the room next to you was having VERY passionate sex and let me tell you, these walls were not thick.
You tried to get up without making any noises, but knowing your luck, it wasn’t going to happen and so the Chewbacca guy woke up.
“(Y/N)?” Oh fuck! You knew that voice!  Slowly you turn around to see Jared Padalecki’s perfect face. It took all you had in you to not let your eyes wander down to the perfect body that came with that face. Jared raised his eyebrows and rubbed his sleepy eyes, “What happened last night?” 
“I was hoping you could tell me…..” You bit your lip as you let your eyes wander down to his god-like abs.
Until that moment, Jared hadn’t noticed that you were both naked. “Oh My Chuck, did we……. no, no we couldn’t have, right?” You just looked at him, you really didn’t want to answer him because you had a feeling about what was going to happen next. “(Y/N), I’m married! We can’t have done it!”
“Well that was a lovely reaction,” you said as you watched Jared search for his clothes. ‘Oh my God, I’m so embarrassed, this can’t be happening’ you thought as you searched for your clothes as well.
You have been in love with Jared since the first day you saw him, you first met him when you started acting for Supernatural in season 2 and since that day Jared had become your best friend in the whole world, you have to admit it broke your heart when he married Gen and more when he asked you to be Tom and Shep’s Godmother. The only people who knew about your feelings for him were Jensen and Misha, after spending so much time together it was impossible not to know but Jared was always clueless. Maybe it was because he didn’t want to accept the reality that you love him….. or he was just really stupid.
You finished getting dress and immediately went for the door to leave until you heard Jared’s voice once again. “(Y/N) I’m sorry for this but it’s just…. I’m going through a rough time with Gen and we were drunk and-” you cut him off.
“Jared it’s okay, don’t worry, it was a mistake. Just forget about it.”
“Do you think it was a mistake?”
“I didn’t mean it that way and you know it.”
“So what did you mean? That this should have never happened? You know what? I agree.” Now he sound mad, you didn’t want to face him so you just went to the door and opened it saying one last thing before you left, “Maybe it shouldn’t have…”
You step outside, hearing Jared calling you from the room but all you could think about was how badly you wanted to get out of there. You start running but couldn’t run even a meter because somebody was in front of you: the human wall you called Jensen. You looked up and saw him with red cheeks, and your cheeks also grew red when you realized that he had no shirt and that he was coming from the room next door. You direct your gaze to the room and saw Misha in it, getting dressed. You looked at Jensen with an expression that said ‘what on earth happened?’
“I can explain…” he started frantically before directing his gaze to the room you had just left. “Hey, isn’t that…?” Again, he stopped himself when he saw Jared looking at you with a weird look. “Finally you make a move! I thought I would have to push you two together!” He chuckled. He had always low-key shipped you two. He walked over to Jared and smacked him on the back. “My man! Finally, this kid right there has been in love with you for years! Finally you see it!”
“Wait, what? You’ve been in love with me for years and didn’t tell me?” If you thought Jared was mad before……. let’s just say: oh shit, Jared was mad now.
“Thanks, Jensen,” you groaned, giving Jensen an ugly look. “Jared…. Just forget it, okay? It was just some stupid crush that I had on you.”
“Stupid crush? You’ve been in love with him since before I was even on the show.” You turned around and saw Misha, wearing only his jeans. Jared gave you a look, waiting for an explanation.
“Okay, yeah, I’ve been in love with you for a while but you’re married and all that shit, so just leave it alone.”
“Y/N, how can you ask me to leave it alone when I just cheated on my wifewith my best friend and now she is telling me she had been in love with me all these years!?”
“Oh, you really had sex?” Jensen asked, looking at us.
“Yeah and so did you.” You snapped, giving him another ugly look and then looked over at Misha who was blushing like mad. You wanted to run far away and never come back, this was too much. Jared was looking at you with his puppy eyes, damn you wanted to hate those eyes but you couldn’t and you didn’t see how anyone ever could.
“Y/N?” You look at Misha when he called you and he gave you a reassuring look and a small nod, letting you know it was okay.
“Jared, I have been in love with you since the first moment I saw you, I know it’s super cliché but it’s true! You are so kind and sexy as hell.” Jensen and Misha let out small chuckles. They couldn’t count how many times they had heard you say that. “I always knew you didn’t see me that way and I was okay with being just your friend but then you got married and had Thom and Shep and I was broken but I couldn’t do anything but accept that you were are happy with Gen and the kids,” you rambled, sighing when you finished.
Jared just looked at you with a pity face, God, you hate that face. That face is why you never told him, you didn’t want him to look at you like that. You looked at Misha and Jensen, who were looking at Jared and waiting for a response, but that response never came.
“I have to go,” he said before storming out of the hallway. You could feel how your eyes start to get wet because of the tears, you give another look to Jensen and Misha and saw that stupid pity face again. You embarrassedly ran into the bedroom that you had been in with Jared and hid there, crying your eyes out.
Misha’s POV
Now that Y/N had locked herself in her room, I was alone with Jensen. Neither of us knew what to do so we just stood there in silence until he finally spoke.
“Mish, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way but…” I interrupted him.
“You want to pretend that this never happened right?” I asked with a soft smile, trying to hide all the sadness I was feeling.
“I’m married and having twins, and you just got a divorce, it was just a crazy night mixed with too much alcohol.”
“Yeah,” I said it so quietIy that I don’t even think he heard me.
“Okay bud, see ya.” He give me a small punch in the shoulder and then go the same direction Jared had gone. I sighed in defeat.
I walk to the door of the room were Y/N has locked herself and knock.
“Hey, open up, it’s me,” I said, moments later I heard the lock and there she was, peaking through the crack of the door with her eyes red and full of tears, I open the door wider and hug her, starting to cry as well. We stay like that for a moment and then go into the room. She sat on the bed and I just stood there, waiting for her to say something but she didn’t. We were both going through the same thing, loving the ones who didn’t love us, getting drunk, having sex with them and them regretting it. Damn, this was a fucking mess.
“Y/N,” I say to her, but she didn’t look at me. “Y/N!!” I call her angrily, now she was looking at me. “We have to stop this! We can’t just stay here crying over Jared and Jensen. Get up.”
“What?” She asked, looking at me with confused and sad eyes.
“You heard me, GET THE HELL UP!” She shot up and looked at me, waiting for instructions. “Now go take a hot shower, do your hair and makeup and I’ll go shower and come pick you up here okay?”
“Misha, I really don’t wanna go out…..”
“I don’t give a fuck if you want to go out, you’re going, okay?” She just looked at me. She looked kind of scared if I’m honest. “I said okay?”
“Yeah, okay, come here in an hour and I’ll be ready.”
“Okay, don’t pick a dress, I’ll bring you one,” I said and got out of her room. Walking to my room I start to think about the first time I saw Jensen.
I was super lost in the set, I was new here! I was searching for my trailer when someone got in my way, causing me to fall.
“Oh! I’m so sorry,” that person said, helping me getting up, I direct my gaze at him and his green eyes connected with my blue ones.
“It’s okay, don’t worry about it.”
Coming back to reality I stood in front of my room, wondering what will happen between all of us.
Hope you like it. I’ll tag some people that I will like to read this because they encourage me to write and they are awesome people <3
@fan-ficfordays @sdavid09 @jotink78 @ginnylilywriting @iwantthedean @jpadjackles @cassxangel
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