#And i just cannot believe he really willingly gave her away like that. He doesn’t even know i have her

[darksaccharinity]

long rant lol if u don’t wanna read keep scrolling

now that i don’t have to keep quiet about this anymore….i am now a single cat mom of 3! (Again:)) and my ex’s inability to care about anything whatsoever will never cease to amaze me. The fact that we agreed for me to take our 2 boy cats and for him take the girl (that he’s had for 9 years, got on his own outside of our relationship and raised) because it would be really hard for me to take all 3 and because we agreed she would be better off alone having her own space….and then choosing to move in with this random ass hoe who has a cat of her own right after we moved out, right after us talking about how it would be good for her to have her own space, while also knowing damn well she doesn’t get along with other cats….and then trying to give her away to random people a few months later because she doesn’t get along with the girls cat and it’s causing stress in their relationship. R u kidding. AND NOT WVen thinking to ask me if i would take her??? Luckily I have real friends who thought this was important for me to know and were able to get her to me before he gave her away to some random. But everyone I’ve talked to about this is literally in awe about how shitty of a person he is and his gf is bc how do you expect someone to give up their pet of almost a decade just because she doesn’t get along with your cat…and how do you give up your cat that you’ve had for 9 years for a girl you’ve known for barely a year lol. Also knowing him and I have talked numerous times about how shitty people are that give their pets up for stupid reasons just fuels my rage even more. If I would’ve known he was this useless of a human being I would’ve just taken her to begin with and figured it out, but now I have to spend weeks reintroducing her to the cats and hoping they can get along, not to mention stressing about me being a single cat mom of 3, 2 was already a lot 😅 But I also knew if I had taken her he would’ve found some way to twist me doing that and making me out to be this horrible person who took his cats lol. He already had the audacity to make it seem like i left him with nothing once we broke up? Like literally had his friends parents coming into my job telling me they heard i fucked him over and left him with nothing? When in reality I just took what was mine lmfaoo? Like me leaving him wasn’t just the consequences of his own actions and he was a willing participant??

Also he’s made this cat his entire personality ever since he got her, she was the last thing that was truly his outside of his new relationship and then he gives her away like nothing. So if/when him and this girl break up and she kicks him out is he going to victimize himself again and cry about how she left him with nothing?? He already lost half of his (real) friends because they know he’s full of shit and the majority of people in his life hate her for reasons of their own lmfao but i just do not understand the cognitive dissonance like does he not realize he does this to himself? I’m sure he’ll have no problem finding another weird bitch to take him in if that happens but bro do some self reflection that’s literally sucha waste of a life i cannot imagine having to hop from person to person and not having an identity of ur own

and i hate feeling like i made his life easier in anyway by taking her while also willingly making my life harder or validating the feeling that i consistently have to bail him out of shit even outside of our relationship but i really did this for Wiz because I don’t want her being pawned off to some random person and then wondering if she’s okay. It’s also fucking hilarious bc he would always joke that she was my least favorite cat/that i didn’t love her as much as the others lmfao yet he was willing to give her away to some random ass person and now i have her

anyways i have so much peace of mind now that all my babies r with me, and i no longer have to worry about them being cared for, so i really don’t give a fuck about what happens to him from here on out. <3

[katsukikitten]

Synopsis: Sold at a young age to the Okasan of a large hostess club you had a life time of debit to repay. The worst part? It wasn’t even yours. The second you’re old enough you’re thrown to the wolves but little do they know that you bite back. After ten grueling years you’re finally seeing a dent in your debt. But your Saturn return in your 28th year doesn’t take too kindly to you, not that life ever did, and you find yourself indebted to an even bigger monster.

Warnings: Choking and violence. Fucked power dynamics

Chapter two: One sentence can change a life, wc 1002

Master List: Here

That stupid bitch really did stab me. She really is a fucking yokai. Hanma smiles to himself as he lifts up his bloodied dress shirt to inspect his torso in the mirror. Staring at a small gash in his side as he smirks at the gaping red hole. Probably a knuckle deep and had he not pinned you at such an awkward angle it could have gone deeper. He could be coughing up blood from a punctured lung. 

“She’s got some fuckin guts…” He says to his reflection, pouring disinfectant onto the wound. Lips turned upward in a sadistic smile as he remembered the evening. How you plopped in his lap like a house cat demanding attention, how you drank from his cup but most importantly how you looked underneath him. 

Teary eyes and mouth set in a hard snarl, you looked so scared, so angry. 

So fucking good with his hand wrapped around your pretty neck, eyes rolling into the back of your head.

For half a second he wonders if you woke up at all and then his phone rings from the cool marble of the sink. 

Incoming call Kisaki Tetta

He answers the phone with manic glee as he hopes his next assignment was just as exciting as you. You were personal business, a loose end he wanted to wrap up. Make sure you weren’t in the thick of it with some other gang. 

You had far too much debt for another loan shark to look your way and it was all owned to Botan, indirectly until the organization bought the club just last year. So there wasn’t going to be a soul alive to lend you money. 

A four day trip is what Shuji is assigned to the other half of the country, needs to capture some territory and overtake a few drug rings and brothels while he’s up there. 

He hopes to make it back in three.

“You told her his address?” Draken runs a broad hand through his tied back hair, "I cannot fucking believe you. You know how she is.” 

“That’s exactly why I did it, you think I gave it to her willingly?” Takemitchi pulls down the collar of his suit to show a deep knick in his throat. Draken can clearly see how the scene unfolded, the second you were met with resistance that damned knife came out, pressing it against Mitchie’s pulse point. 

A threat? A warning? A promise? Draken could never be sure when it came to you.

No one could. 

So he could only imagine what you were up to and if you went up to his fellow gang members home unannounced. 

Draken had swung by to check on you before he went to speak with Shuji, even if it meant using his fists. 

Even if it meant starting an internal war within the syndicate. 

You were off limits and everyone knew that. 

Draken’s phone pings from his pants pocket. Lazily he pulls it out and reads over the screen.

Mikey: Usual spot, usual time.

It feels good, feels damn good, to be standing in the driveway and watch a multimillion dollar home burn. Engulfed in flames as you throw your last Molotov as if the fire needed any help licking up the frame. 

You take a step back, hands on your hips in your tight black dress admiring your work. Cat smile on your lips and if you had a forked tail it would flick with anticipation as you watched and waited. 

Wouldn’t be long before one of his neighbors would call emergency services once they saw the smoke, if they didn’t already smell it. 

Struggling to tear away your eyes you urge yourself it’s time to go. You had already broken two of the few rules you had. 

One, never set fire in broad daylight.

Two never bite off more than you can chew. 

But damn if you didn’t mind choking just a bit knowing that Hanma Shuji’s life would be up in smoke and if you were really lucky he’d be up in smoke too. 

A strong arm wraps around your waist, pulling your back into a hard chest, the other hand wraps around your tender and bruised throat. You let out a whimper of a gasp, larynx still recovering from a few days ago.

“Well, well well. If my little Nekomata didn’t pay me a visit.” He cuts off the blood flow to your brain and it makes your head swim, “Did you come down from the mountain as a forked tail tiger or did you come in such a pretty dress?”

He has your arms pinned beneath the one he’s snaked around you. He’s squeezing so tightly that even if his hand wasn’t on your throat you were sure you wouldn’t be able to breathe. 

As you gasp you get notes of whiskey, expensive tobacco and fresh linen. Trying to thrash against his tight grip.

“I could kill you.” He sighs as he puts his chin on top of your head, looking over his burning house, “I should kill you…”

The longer he debates what he should do next the more your vision clouds. He feels you fighting, feels you losing as your hot body slowly melts against his. Through his glasses he sees it all with his cruel smile on his lips. Just as your knees are about to give out he lets up enough for the blood to rush to your head. You take in a gravely gasp as your body is forced to take shallow sips of air thanks to his toned arms. 

“You know what I think?” He presses his cheek to yours, holding eye contact from his peripheral, “I think you are indebted to me now.” 

Who knew an eight word sentence could leave you feeling like the crumbling house before you. Flames lick up your stomach and throat as your heart pounds against your chest. Begging to break free from your ribcage as his words wash over you again. 

Just like that you were now the property of Hanma Shuji.

[shujikitten]

Synopsis: Sold at a young age to the Okasan of a large hostess club you had a life time of debit to repay. The worst part? It wasn’t even yours. The second you’re old enough you’re thrown to the wolves but little do they know that you bite back. After ten grueling years you’re finally seeing a dent in your debt. But your Saturn return in your 28th year doesn’t take too kindly to you, not that life ever did, and you find yourself indebted to an even bigger monster.

Warnings: Choking and violence. Fucked power dynamics

Chapter Two: One sentence can change a life, wc 1002

Master List: Here

That stupid bitch really did stab me. She really is a fucking yokai. Hanma smiles to himself as he lifts up his bloodied dress shirt to inspect his torso in the mirror. Staring at a small gash in his side as he smirks at the gaping red hole. Probably a knuckle deep and had he not pinned you at such an awkward angle it could have gone deeper. He could be coughing up blood from a punctured lung.

“She’s got some fuckin guts…” He says to his reflection, pouring disinfectant onto the wound. Lips turned upward in a sadistic smile as he remembered the evening. How you plopped in his lap like a house cat demanding attention, how you drank from his cup but most importantly how you looked underneath him.

Teary eyes and mouth set in a hard snarl, you looked so scared, so angry.

So fucking good with his hand wrapped around your pretty neck, eyes rolling into the back of your head.

For half a second he wonders if you woke up at all and then his phone rings from the cool marble of the sink.

Incoming call Kisaki Tetta

He answers the phone with manic glee as he hopes his next assignment was just as exciting as you. You were personal business, a loose end he wanted to wrap up. Make sure you weren’t in the thick of it with some other gang.

You had far too much debt for another loan shark to look your way and it was all owned to Botan, indirectly until the organization bought the club just last year. So there wasn’t going to be a soul alive to lend you money.

A four day trip is what Shuji is assigned to the other half of the country, needs to capture some territory and overtake a few drug rings and brothels while he’s up there.

He hopes to make it back in three.

“You told her his address?” Draken runs a broad hand through his tied back hair, “I cannot fucking believe you. You know how she is.”

“That’s exactly why I did it, you think I gave it to her willingly?” Takemitchi pulls down the collar of his suit to show a deep knick in his throat. Draken can clearly see how the scene unfolded, the second you were met with resistance that damned knife came out, pressing it against Mitchie’s pulse point.

A threat? A warning? A promise? Draken could never be sure when it came to you.

No one could.

So he could only imagine what you were up to and if you went up to his fellow gang members home unannounced.

Draken had swung by to check on you before he went to speak with Shuji, even if it meant using his fists.

Even if it meant starting an internal war within the syndicate.

You were off limits and everyone knew that.

Draken’s phone pings from his pants pocket. Lazily he pulls it out and reads over the screen.

Mikey: Usual spot, usual time.

It feels good, feels damn good, to be standing in the driveway and watch a multimillion dollar home burn. Engulfed in flames as you throw your last Molotov as if the fire needed any help licking up the frame.

You take a step back, hands on your hips in your tight black dress admiring your work. Cat smile on your lips and if you had a forked tail it would flick with anticipation as you watched and waited.

Wouldn’t be long before one of his neighbors would call emergency services once they saw the smoke, if they didn’t already smell it.

Struggling to tear away your eyes you urge yourself it’s time to go. You had already broken two of the few rules you had.

One, never set fire in broad daylight.

Two never bite off more than you can chew.

But damn if you didn’t mind choking just a bit knowing that Hanma Shuji’s life would be up in smoke and if you were really lucky he’d be up in smoke too.

A strong arm wraps around your waist, pulling your back into a hard chest, the other hand wraps around your tender and bruised throat. You let out a whimper of a gasp, larynx still recovering from a few days ago.

“Well, well well. If my little Nekomata didn’t pay me a visit.” He cuts off the blood flow to your brain and it makes your head swim, “Did you come down from the mountain as a forked tail tiger or did you come in such a pretty dress?”

He has your arms pinned beneath the one he’s snaked around you. He’s squeezing so tightly that even if his hand wasn’t on your throat you were sure you wouldn’t be able to breathe.

As you gasp you get notes of whiskey, expensive tobacco and fresh linen. Trying to thrash against his tight grip.

“I could kill you.” He sighs as he puts his chin on top of your head, looking over his burning house, “I should kill you…”

The longer he debates what he should do next the more your vision clouds. He feels you fighting, feels you losing as your hot body slowly melts against his. Through his glasses he sees it all with his cruel smile on his lips. Just as your knees are about to give out he lets up enough for the blood to rush to your head. You take in a gravely gasp as your body is forced to take shallow sips of air thanks to his toned arms.

“You know what I think?” He presses his cheek to yours, holding eye contact from his peripheral, “I think you are indebted to me now.”

Who knew an eight word sentence could leave you feeling like the crumbling house before you. Flames lick up your stomach and throat as your heart pounds against your chest. Begging to break free from your ribcage as his words wash over you again.

Just like that you were now the property of Hanma Shuji.

previously posted to katsukikitten, fiction moved to shujikitten

[ouyangzizhensdad]

What keeps stumping me is this: LWJ takes WWX to the Cloud Recesses to protect him from JC, then, when they leave with the arm, he keeps dragging him back when WWX tries to escape to, again, protect him from JC... But then, after the Xinglu Ridge, he lets him go and trusts that WWX will meet him back at the inn. Why? And anyway, what was he planning to do, drag WWX around all his life? He had duties, he couldn't have followed WWX himself to provide protection, so it would have been exactly [1/2]

that — dragging him around or leaving him shielded behind the walls of the Cloud Recesses. In theory, if "MXY" became a Lan disciple, JC couldn't have touched him... But LWJ knew who "MXY" was and that WWX would mostly refuse, like he did multiple times before. It's great that after WWX realizes LWJ doesn't intend to harm or punish him, he goes along willingly — but what if he didn't? What then? JC was still out there, after all. [2/2]

Hi anon,

I think it's a little bit of a stretch to imagine LWJ's plan was to just keep 'dragging' WWX along forever. They arrived in the CR, spent one night there, and the next day LWJ was busy with the arm which was of course a priority. What would have happened if the Lans had been able to suppress the resentful energy of the arm on that day, and LWJ had not felt the responsibility to leave to solve the mystery? It's hard to say. But now that they were in a place that was safe, and that there wouldn't have been another matter that would have taken priority, I don't think it's far fetched to believe that LWJ would have discussed things with WWX or put into place a way to bring him to a safe place outside of the CR if he did not want to stay. Considering his grief over his mother, and her situation, as well as his care for WWX’s welfare, I’m wary to believe his gameplan could ever be just ‘guess I’ll keep WWX in the CR, even if against his will, forever, bc jc is out there’.

I think it's important as well to remember that regardless of LWJ's motives, WWX does not choose to remain with him because of the protection LWJ can provide him, or simply because he suddenly decided to trust him out of a single demonstration of trustworthiness.

Even before they left the CR, WWX's words and actions revealed he was attached to and protective of LWJ--even as a crisis is occurring, his thoughts keep going back to LWJ, and whether he is okay:

When the bell of the watchtower started ringing on its own, it only meant one thing—that an accident happened to the people performing the summoning ritual inside. [...]

Seeing that Lan Wangji did not appear, Wei Wuxian had a foreboding feeling. If Lan Wangji were still in the Cloud Recesses, he would have hurried over immediately, as he heard the alarming chimes of the bell, unless…

Suddenly, the black door burst open with a bang. A white-clothed disciple rushed outside, staggering and stumbling.

[...]

Wei Wuxian grabbed his hand at once, speaking in a low voice, “Which being’s spirit are you summoning? Who else is inside? Where’s Hanguang-jun?!”

It seemed as if the disciple had trouble breathing, “Hanguang-jun told me to run away…”

[...]With the hastily created bamboo flute still by his waist, he went up the stairs in just a few strides. He kicked the door of the mingshi and commanded, “Open!”

WWX is the one who offers to go with LWJ, but of course we know it was because he thought it would be an opportunity to get away.

The few nodded, “Okay! Are you going to travel down the mountain?”

Lan Wangji gave a slight nod. Wei Wuxian had already stealthily shifted behind him, talking to himself in a loud, cheerful way, “Yes, yes, yes, we can finally get off this mountain and elope together!”

[...] Wei Wuxian originally wanted to sneak away during their expedition off the mountain. However, even though he attempted to run away multiple times, it always ended with Lan Wangji carrying him back with one hand holding the back of his collar. He changed his strategy, sticking to Lan Wangji as hard as he could. At night, especially, he would persistently climb into Lan Wangji’s bed, with the intention that Lan Wangji would become disgusted and use his sword to throw him away. Despite this, no matter how hard he messed around, Lan Wangji steadily stood his ground. Whenever Wei Wuxian wriggled into his blankets, he would use a light slap to make Wei Wuxian’s body rigid, and then stuff him into the other set of blankets in a proper position, where he would remain until daylight broke. Wei Wuxian suffered a ton of losses and complaint about his sore body after he woke up. He could not help but think: Now that he grew up, he also became less fun than before. In the past, he would become shy whenever he was teased, not to mention that he did it in quite an amusing way. But now, not only does he remain unmovable no matter what, he even learned how to counterattack. How can this be?!

However, in the same chapter, as they have spent more time together, WWX starts hating the idea of being separated from LWJ, although he cannot yet put into words why he feels this way:

After walking for some distance, Wei Wuxian unintentionally turned around and looked. Lan Wangji was behind him, still standing at the same place, staring toward his direction.

Wei Wuxian could not help but slow his footsteps.

He could not tell why, but he vaguely felt that he should not walk so fast, should not be leaving Lan Wangji behind like this.

We can also to a degree concur that WWX already feels safe enough around LWJ to seek him as a source of safety and comfort when faced with a dog, which happens a lot during the Xinglu Ridge arc, to the point that he unconsciously calls for him when JC sics Fairy on him while LWJ is away. WWX is also protective of LWJ in his own way even at that point:

Wei Wuxian immediately understood whose name he had unconsciously called out.

“It really is quite curious how far he went to protect you,” Jiang Cheng smiled menacingly, “back on Dafan Mountain.”

A moment later, he corrected himself, “No. You weren’t necessarily the one whom Lan Wangji was protecting. After all, the GusuLan Sect couldn’t have forgotten what you did with that loyal dog of yours. How could someone so celebrated for his righteousness tolerate the likes of you? Maybe he’s familiar with this body that you stole instead.”

His words were cruel and sinister. Every sentence seemed well-meaning on the surface, but was actually derogatory. Wei Wuxian could not bear with it any longer.

“Watch your language.”

“I’ve never cared for such things, don’t you remember?” Jiang Cheng responded,

“Oh, right.” Wei Wuxian mocked.

Although WWX tells LWJ that he would meet him back after they separated, he could have easily chosen not to do it. After all, compared to all the tricks he tried to flee before, it would have been nothing to go back on this 'promise'. He was in a forest, at night, where no one but JL knew he was. He could have left at any time. And when LWJ left, he knew this--that WWX would potentially not come back, hence why his expression is so shaken after having waited hours for WWX to return (now we can wonder how long he would have stayed on that bridge, waiting, hoping). But, again, solving the mystery of the arm took priority over ensuring WWX's safety (and, considering WWX managed to be discovered and taken by JC during these few hours, it's not like his fears were unfounded).

While WWX seems to realise that LWJ is on his side, there is no big moment of thinking "he doesn't want to punish/harm me". Likewise, there is no considerations of how JC could be looking for him after his escape and the dangers inherent in that. It seems almost like another unconscious decision.

He had always thought that Jiang Cheng would be on his side, and Lan Wangji on the side opposite to him. He could never have imagined that things would turn out so differently.

Wei Wuxian walked toward the rendezvous point where he and Lan Wangji were supposed to meet. Nobody walked among the sparse lights that flickered in the night. Without having to look around, a white-robed figure stood at the end of the street, standing motionless with his head hung low.

In conclusion, WWX would have never stayed alongside LWJ (or anyone else for that matter) simply for protection. As well, it is extremely unlikely that LWJ's thought process at this point of the narrative was 'I'll just drag WWX along for the rest of our lives''--but that the arm took priority over resolving the conundrum around WWX's safety, and that indeed, when the situation presented itself, he put first what I'll call his night hunting duties for a lack of a better term while taking the risk that WWX would decide to leave on his own. Is it the most 'healthy' way of approaching the situation? Honestly, I don't care. Instead I think it’s much more important to wonder: is it coherent with the characterisation, the characters' motivations and the unfolding of the plot?

[servingy-nneeds]

PLEASE DON’T NOTICE ME

WHAT KIND OF YANDERE ARE THEY?: KEIGO TAKAMI (HAWKS) PART 2

TRIGGER WARNING: MANIPULATIVE, Mentions of assault

COMBINATION:  MONOPOLY and REMOVAL TYPE

Monopoly type of Yandere tries to monopolize their lover in any way or form. Trying to get you to distrust people, in worse case scenarios wouldn’t let you socialize with other people. Their reasoning that ‘they may harm you’ and that you are far too naive for it to notice. Is extremely inquisitive on who you hang out with and where you are at a particular time.  

Removal type of Yandere go through great lengths in order to remove people whom they deemed isn’t worth your attention, everyone. This includes any forms of social interactions digital or physical. After all you have them in your life what more can you ask for.

You always considered yourself as a kind person, willing to always a lend a hand to others. But you never said you were oblivious.

You always took note his sudden shift in behavior whenever the situation involves you. The first time it happened was back when he saved you again for the second time when a drunk forced himself on you. Back when you first met you always thought he viewed you as an annoying person, the twitching polite smile he presented you gave himself away. And then the next thing you knew after politely caring for his non vital wound, he started sticking himself closer to you.

Initially he just wanted to get invited inside your home. After that he started walking you back home, he said “I just happened to be around this area”. And when he randomly showed up in your job one day claiming that your company sponsored one of his commercial, you knew something was up.

“Hey want to have a lunch together? I found this awesome place where they sell these mean ass bbq’d chicken ” an unknown number showed up on your phone one day. Ignoring the message you continued catching up on your report. That is until another message showed up “Sorry, this is Hawks got your number from one of your buddies, told em I know you and stuff, that good with you?”.

You would had simply ignored on how he got your number if not for the fact that you were new at your office, never had this so called “buddy” and worse you never told anyone your personal contact number you always used your company phone for communication.

The weeks after that he started invading your breaks pulling you away before your co-workers had a chance to invite you for lunch breaks. The result? they tend to shy away from you, finding it awkward being close to you when you obviously have a personal relationship with the no.2 pro Hero.

When you tried distancing yourself from him, finding a piss poor excuse on how you cannot accompany him for lunch or dinner, and even refusing to be accompanied on your way home, you openly voiced out your distaste at the idea of being flown back to your apartment. Not wanting your safety be fully in his hands.

“Hey y/n, darling I noticed you’re pretty distant this past days” he spoke to you when he caught you chilling at the company’s roof top one day, well you never thought he would be pretty upfront with your behavior.

“Yeah sorry ��bout that, someone in my office said that I might be distracting you from hero work and all” you said lying, avoiding eye contact, you knew you were really scraping the bottom for excuse this time. Believing you easily, he never liked your co worker sticking close to you and now they instilled this idea on you now? Well he couldn’t have that. Deciding to prod again at your weakness, mainly that you were oozing with sympathy and easily guilt tripped.

“Well I am a pretty over bearing guy” he said softly looking down on his feet “I grew up pretty much alone in the commission and never really had someone to hang out with, so I just tend to be clingy, really wanted to try out this normalcy once in a while y’know? Sorry ‘bout all this” he said cracking his voice up a bit to further emphasize that he is showing his vulnerable side to cater to your empathetic side.

He really hope it works, otherwise he’d have to go plan B. Kidnapping you isn’t as much fun compared to the idea of you willingly submitting yourself to him.

“Maybe we can hang out at weekends” you said eyes full of sympathy.

Bingo.Next stop those nosy colleagues of yours.

“Hey y/n thank goodness are you ok?” one of your colleagues called out to you one day. Shocked by the sudden unusual approach from a total stranger you asked what the commotion is all about. “You know that guy that was interning for you? Well turns out he has numerous cases of assault, you can never trust anyone this days” she huffed before storming off.

The next was the same girl who approached you willingly trying to warn you. You found out a week later in a daily news that her body was found in the area where you usually commute and was burned to the point of unrecognizable. You voiced your concern to Hawks one day simply because there was no way he would be involved in any of these, after all he is a Hero and doesn’t quite have a quirk that allows him to burn others. He does know someone, but you don’t know that.

With a shaking hand you quickly dialing his phone number and meeting with him within a 10 minutes time frame. “I hate to be that kind of person, especially since I rejected your offer in the past but I really hope you can escort me back home, just this time I swear” you rambled as he hugged you tightly comforting you, giving you a shoulder to cry on for support. Shame you missed the way his eyes glint or the ever growing grin he sported

After courting you for couple of months, you noticed he wasn’t as clingy as before and was quite understanding when you set your boundaries. You thought he changed for you he didn’t.  It wasn’t a surprise when you accepted his proposal when he asked you out of blue one day presenting you a ruffled bouquet of flowers and a feather of his own, he claims it was to keep you safe. It’s a tracking device

Going out with him wasn’t as bad as you thought. He plays this boyfriend role perfectly. He had brought you two a matching phone when you accidentally dropped it at a lake during your date when an elderly bumped into you.Though sometimes you voiced out your concern for him that you weren’t accepting important messages at times.

After that he brought you a plush of a duck that looked strangely liked him which you thought was downright adorable and cuddly. Though sometimes when you sleep you feel as if the plush’s beady eye is steadily staring right back at you, but you chalked it up as being paranoid just like these past days whenever you go out without Hawks. 

Making you move in with him was next in his plan albeit he had some difficulty convincing you. He insisted it was for your safety. But really it was for his mental well being (1) his flat was considerably more secured, has a lot more advanced locks he’s got access to (2) He can now monitor you 24/7 even without that duck’s help (3) he’ll can finally record your voice whenever he wants, even without the bugged phone and best of all he’s got you all to himself, away from all those damn people that consumes your time.

So here you are now wearing one of his shirts, he pleas with puppy dog eyes that it looks adorable on you, spending another whole day in your shared living room, with nothing else to preoccupy your time. At this point you had no friends, only work buddies, your contact with your relatives even your parents and siblings were seldom to none, they insists it was you who cut them off saying you weren’t answering their calls or messages.

Hawks claimed that they were lying to you and that they didn’t wanted to come out as the bad guy for not talking to you.

Brushing your hands along his hair with a hum, while he lays his head on your lap, he insists it was relaxing therapeutic to him, while trying to watch some type of animated cartoon movie he insists was ‘safe for you to view’.

Moving around he grabbed your waist burying himself to your midsection then he said “You know hawks mate for life?” making you chuckle a bit thinking it was one of his bird jokes. “We’ll see about when you put a ring on this you simp” you said showing your ring finger.

He softly chuckled to himself thinking ‘Yeah you weren’t oblivious, you were dead blind’

Check out Part 1

[speechlessxx]

Bring Him Light - ii (King!Steve Rogers x Reader)

Chapter Summary: Just as everything began to settle, you discover a bit of truth to the rumors you feared. 

Warnings: Nothing much just really bad writing. Steve’s less bipolar so that’s great. 

Word Count: 3.3k

I finally know where the direction of where I want to take Bring Him Light to. 

Bring Him Light Masterlist

I hope you guys enjoy!

<- Last Part -=+=- Next Part ->

A week has passed since your first meeting with the king. He grew more pleasant the more you two spent time together – perhaps his sour mood was indeed due to the king being overworked. Nevertheless, you still refused to grow attached to the man. There were rumors of his cruelty for a reason. But as the days wore on, your stubbornness was soon relenting, allowing yourself to enjoy his presence despite his mood swings that swayed like a pendulum.

And with your wedding on the horizon, perhaps the bond growing steadily between you and King Steven was a good thing.

The arrow whizzed through the air and landed centimeters away from the red center. You let out a groan as your arms slack in defeat. “I swear I’m much better,” you muttered. You were normally a great shot with your own bow – the bow that the huntsman broke when you fought against him.

The king chuckled as he took the bow from your hands. “I’m sure you are,” he teased. He drew an arrow and aimed for less than a second. When he let it go, it landed right into the center – much to your dismay. “My, I do think I’ve won.”

“You’re so humble.” He chuckled at your words. Your sarcasm was as crisp as the morning air. “But I do believe I have a redemption shot.”

Steven quirked up an eyebrow. “Of course, your highness,” he gave you a cocky smile as you grabbed the bow from him. “If you think you can beat a perfect shot.”

You hummed as you lined up your shot. You took a deep breath as you stared into the target. Your breathing was steady as you aimed. He doubted you could best him. His arrow lodged in the exact center of the target. It was a guaranteed win. Surely –

You let the arrow go and with an audible snap, Steven’s eyes widened in surprise. It was hard to tell from the distance, but it became clear as you both approached the target. “You’ve split my arrow,” he said in disbelief.

“I told you I was great a shot. Did you not believe me?” He sputtered excuses and you felt a rush of pride as a smirk found its way onto your face. “My, I do believe that I have won, your grace.”

“I concur,” he chuckled. “Took you some time to adjust to the bow, though. Perhaps, we should’ve played at even stakes from the beginning. Shall we ask a servant to fetch for your bow?”

You gave him a sad smile and shook your head. “I’m afraid I did not travel with my bow.”

“Why not?”

“Thor, the huntsman, who gave me these,” you lifted your wrists as you alluded to the cuts that were now mostly healed, “snapped my bow.”

“You never did tell me why you were fighting with Thor.”

“Perhaps it’s a story that should be told another day,” a voice called out. Lord Alexander Pierce, one of the lords of Steven’s council, bowed to you and his king. You quickly noticed Steven’s sudden change in demeanor. His smile had been abandoned as his brows furrowed and his stare hardened. You weren’t a fool. You knew that the Lords Pierce and Rumlow were almost always the cause of his aggravation. “Your grace, I’ve come to collect you. Lord Rumlow and I request a meeting with the council.”

“Has Lord Barnes and Lord Wilson been informed?”

“Yes, your grace. We are all waiting on you.”

“Can’t it wait,” you frowned. Steven glanced over at you in surprise. Ladies normally hold their tongue in the presence of the nobles. Some would’ve called your outburst impolite, but King Steven found it amusing. “The king and I were enjoying our time together before you arrived.”

“I’m afraid it cannot.” Lord Pierce simply stared through you. How dare a woman speak in that tone to me, he thought though he knew better than to snipe at his future queen – especially in front of the king.

Steven let out a sigh through his nose as his jaw clenched up in frustration. What the hell did Rumlow and Pierce want now? “I will join you later for a rematch.” He told you but you shook your head.

“I will be at one of the eastern villages later today,” you said. “I was told there was a fire last night and I wanted to provide any aid I could.”

“Of course,” Steven nodded. “When I’m released, I will join you.”

“I would love that, your grace,” you nodded and curtseyed to him and walked off.

Lord Pierce sent a glare your way and as soon as you were out of earshot he said, “is everyone in that family horrendously outspoken?”

“Amusingly so, Lord Pierce.”

“»————-　⚜　————-««

“I do not see the problem,” Steven said, squinting his eyes the two men. Lord Rumlow let out a sigh of frustration as he looked to Lord Pierce to further the argument.

“We have reason to believe that your future bride may be conspiring against you. How simpler can it get?” Lord Pierce snapped. The older man was visibly annoyed. The wrinkles around his brows and forehead visible with his frown. The king didn’t appreciate the man’s tone. “She has you galivanting in your gardens with her, playing a game with arrows. She’s keeping you from your duties.”

“Was it not you who said that the wedding should be postponed?” James scoffed.  

“Besides… she is not a distraction. We’re simply getting acquainted with one another. I do not want to marry a stranger. Not again.” The king said. He looked at the painting that hung near the door. He remembered painting that portrait of Queen Margaret, his first wife.

“The Starks cannot be trusted.” Lord Pierce added. “Not long ago, we were at war with them! Now, you trust that Anthony Stark has sent over his own daughter willingly?”

“I trust Tony.” Steven nodded. He did. Despite the disarray that plagued the north three years ago, he did trust the other king. “And his daughter has not given me any reason to doubt the Starks. She’s lovely company. Perhaps, you’re just upset that she doesn’t scare easily.” Lord Wilson and Barnes chuckled at this. Alexander Pierce took pride in his ability to bend others to his will by striking fear in their hearts – something you seemed impervious to.

“I believe we can save ourselves from King Thanos entirely.” Lord Pierce suggested. The five men fell into silence as Lord Pierce smirked, knowing he finally had their attention. “Marrying the Stark girl may unite the North, but why should we stop at just the north. Of course, but what if you marry King Thanos’s eldest daughter – the Princess Gamora. You would spare Brooken from Thanos’s wrath.”

“But that would not mean that Brooken is free from the Mad King’s tyranny! He would want Brooken as his own.” James interjected.

Steven agreed. “His daughter would slit my throat in my sleep so that my kingdom falls in her father’s hands. I will not have it.”

“Cousin, I ask that you entertain the idea,” Brock spoke. The King narrowed his eyes at his cousin as if to say as if you aren’t entertaining that idea yourself. “Acknowledge the threat and align yourself with Thanos.”

“I will not hear of this ever again.” Steven snapped. “Do you understand – all of you?” A chorus of agreement – though Brock and Alexander’s tones were not happy. “I will marry (Y/N) Stark in a week. Our marriage will unite the northern kingdoms. Unity is what we all need. Standing together with York – with the Starks – that union will help us prevail in any war.”

Alexander Pierce had been a friend to King Steven’s father. Though, Steven did not know why his father befriended the man. He found Pierce rather insufferable – always pushing an agenda that he says will “better” Brooken but in truth, only benefits himself.

It was Alexander Pierce who set up the betrothal between Queen Sharon and the king. The two had known each other for less than a day before they were wed. The marriage had not been successful for many reasons. Wanting to avoid another failed marriage – and already distrusting Alexander Pierce’s judgement – the king chose his own bride: you.

The brief meeting was adjourned. The king and his two friends hurried off to meet with you and your ladies in the village, leaving Brock and Alexander murmuring to themselves.

“That was our one opportunity. He will not hear of if again. I know my cousin. His mind is already made.” Brock muttered. “I do not see how he was made king. He’s boneless, the self-righteous arse.”

Alexander chuckled. “Oh, Rumlow, your cousin has indeed made a fine king. He’s lead Brooken to victory on the battlefield so many times. Smart one, too. He’s evaded our attempts too many times now. He’s even decided to choose his own bride instead of listening to my council. His intuition has always been on his side.”

“We cannot turn him against Stark. We cannot get him to ally with Thanos.”

“Indeed… but perhaps, we can turn his own queen against him. She must’ve already heard the rumors if not in York but here. She just needs a push.”

“»————-　⚜　————-««

When the king arrived, he had not expected the damage. The building had been burnt down. The burnt scent still hung in the air. The crowds that gathered welcomed him, bowing to their monarch.

“Your grace,” Lord Barnes muttered, getting his attention. Though the king searched for you in the crowds, he nodded to Lord Barnes to show his friend that he was listening. “This may be the first time the people see you and their future queen interact. It’s imperative to give a good impression.”

“Of course,” Steven nodded. He spotted a fiery haired woman cut through the crowds and recognizing her immediately. “Lady Natasha!” The woman stopped in her tracks as the king stalked towards her. She bowed to him and threw Lord Barnes a small smile, one he gladly returned. “Where’s (Y/N)?”

Before the red head could respond, your voice rang out throughout the crowd. Steven’s head snapped in its direction to catch a glimpse of you surrounded by villagers. You were handing out various food items to his people. They were the leftovers from the feast the castle had a few nights ago.

He cracked a smile at the sight. Lord Barnes clasped his shoulder. “She will make a fine queen to your people, Steve,” he muttered under his breath.

“Indeed.” Steve felt a sense of pride in seeing you. All you were missing was a crown on your head. His heart raced at the thought. It’s only been a week and you’ve already had such an effect on the man. He stalked towards you with a smile. “Your highness, may I be of assistance?”

You smiled at him as you glanced over to the cart of food behind you. He nodded and stood with you as the both of you gave out the food to the poor. It was safe to assume his people loved you.

“We shall thank Princess (Y/N) of York for her generosity!” the king announced to the people who cheered in response. “Thank you for feeding my people, my love.” Your heart fluttered at hearing those words. You scolded yourself for the feeling. You were not to fall so quickly for the king you barely just met. In turn, Steven wasn’t sure if his words were just for show or genuine, but he was certain that you at his side would be a great addition to his reign – not to mention, he liked having you around altogether.

He snaked an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him, inhaling your scent. The smell of rose petals strong in your hair. You laughed as your hand rested on his chest as the people cheered for you both. You have definitely made a wonderful impression.

His loving stare did not go unnoticed by his friends, your ladies, and the people. This was their feature. This was Brooken’s future.

And it seemed bright.

“»————-　⚜　————-««

“I told you he’s not as bad as the rumors made him out to be,” Wanda remarked as she brushed through your hair. The water from your bath left your hair damp while your lady tried to unravel the knots.

“You two have become quite close in our short time here.” Natasha added. “It’s the early morning excursions about the property, isn’t it?”

“He’s different than I assumed, yes,” you agreed with a smile. “However, he does have his moments. I think he’s restrained himself because of our first meeting.”

“Your wounds have healed quite well.” Natasha said, taking your wrist and examining it. The wrist that Steven had grabbed was still scabbing over. The other had healed almost completely, leaving light pink scars around your wrist. “I’m sure King Steven has shown his apologies for this.”

“He’s quite cocky,” you thought aloud. “Though what man isn’t. He is a king after all. His confidence is well placed. He nearly beat me this morning in archery. Though, I split his arrow, winning the game.”

“I’ve never heard of a split arrow?” Wanda asked, furrowing her brows in confusion.

“It’s quite rare, I believe.” Natasha explained. “Your shot must’ve been well aimed, your highness.”

“It was.” You smirked.

“Perhaps cockiness is just a trait that all monarchs eventually develop,” Wanda chided. You three laughed. “I cannot wait until the wedding. The dress you wear will be divine.”

“I wish we could push back the wedding even further,” you confessed. You rubbed at the healing wrist nervously as you remembered about the wedding. It would occur in less than a week. You would be queen of Brooken in less than a week – Steven’s wife in less than a week. “The king and I… We may get along now, but we are still strangers. I’m afraid that this may all be an act – his kindness and his charm. He may still be the monster that I fear the rumors make him out to be.”

Natasha tsked at you as she took your hands in hers. She remembered the stare he had on you when he saw you in the village. His eyes had shined – something the portraits never showed. The glint of a promising future – a loving husband and a great king. “He looks as if he was already in love with you.” Wanda nodded in agreement. You groaned, pulling your wrists from hers. “Why am I the only one concerned about our safety?”

“Because he has not given you any reason to be concerned.” Natasha said. You lifted your scabbed wrist with your brows raised.

Before she could rebut, there was a knock on the door. “Come in!” You called.

Ser Pietro opened the door and Lord Barnes walked in. Natasha suddenly stood and straightened out her dress. He bowed to you and nodded to your ladies. His stare lingered on Natasha for a few seconds longer before turning to you.

“King Steven has asked me to deliver a gift,” he smiled. He handed you a box and you cautiously took.

Was this someone’s head? No… There was no one that you could think that the king would have reason to behead. You laid the box on your bed and slowly lifted the lid. A surprised gasp left your lips as you stared at the bow. It was strikingly similar to your own.

“It’s beautiful,” you murmured. A note had been placed inside.

Dearest (Y/N),

Upon hearing of your broken bow this morning and reached out to the huntsman. He has a remarkable memory and gave me a detailed description of it. I had one of my talented men in the weaponry recreate it from what the huntsman could recall. It may not perfect or even what you expected, but I do hope that you will enjoy your new bow as I have enjoyed our time together.  

With much love,

Steven.

“Give the king my gratitude, my lord,” you smiled at Lord Barnes who nodded.

“Your presence at court has brought much joy to my king, to my friend.” He said. James glanced over at Natasha once more before leaving. You made a note to ask her about it later.

Wanda took the box as the ladies helped you into bed. Natasha smirked at you as if to say see? Nothing to worry about.

That night, you tossed and turned but was unable to lull yourself to sleep. You kept thinking about the bow and about the kind words in his letter. Perhaps he wasn’t as horrible after all?

Frustrated, you decided to wander about the castle in an effort to tire yourself out. With a candlestand in one hand and your robe wrapped tightly around you, you went off on your adventure.

The castle was different at night. The moonlight illuminated the corridors and left an eerie feeling in your gut. The shadows that casted upon the walls looked as if they were creatures of the night and every turn you made had you jolt in fear.

You heard faint whispers near a staircase that only went down. From your tour, you vaguely remember that this was the pathway to the dungeons underneath the grounds. You had no intention of walking down those steps until you heard a familiar voice riddled with anger. You felt goosebumps rise on your skin upon realization. It was Steven’s voice.

You crept down the stairs, careful not to make a sound. Since Brooken did many things differently than York, you weren’t sure what would condemn someone to the prison. Theft? Perhaps, murder?

“Admit it,” Steven’s voice grew louder the closer you approached. You kept yourself hidden, diminishing your candle’s fire so that you would not be seen. There was a groan in response. There were several groans throughout the prison.

“Water… Please, sire,” someone begged. “We know nothing.”

“Do not lie to your king!” Another voice snapped. It was James’s.

Steven sighed. “We know the truth, but we need a confession. I will grant you freedom if you confess.” You frowned. In York, those sent to prison were given a trial before the king and the nobles of the court. It would be made known what the offense was, and the council would decide the punishment accordingly. But it seemed as if Brooken dealt with their legal affairs privately.

“I will not speak out.” The hoarse voice responded. “I will be loyal until my last dying breath.”

You heard shuffling as King Steven approached the prisoner. “Death I can arrange.” His tone was even but his threat was a promise. His rage radiated and you felt it from your hidden position. “But if you confess now, I can grant you freedom.”

“No.”

An exasperated sigh left the king. “Very well. Pull out each and every one of his teeth until he confesses.” You weren’t sure who the order was for – Lord Barnes? Was there another man there? “If he doesn’t, stretch him until his joints dislocate. Pop them into place then repeat until he confesses because I will have a confession.”

“And if he dies, your grace?”

“Turn his body to ash.” There was no remorse in his voice. There were groans of protest and begging, but the king had already made up his mind.

There were murmurs between the two men – Lord Barnes and the king – but you didn’t pay it much mind. You heard all you needed to. You rushed up the staircase and ran to your room, not caring about the maids and knights who saw you.

You slammed the door shut and ran your hand through your hair. What the hell did you just hear?

The king slowly made his way out of the prison, but suddenly stopped. He stared at the spot you were standing at minutes ago. There was a scent – one that was very different from the putrid smells of the dungeons.

A woman’s scent.

Roses.  

[originalwinnercheesecake]

Chain of Iron Theories on the Killer’s 5 victims

tinSo we know that the chain of Iron will have a mysterious killer who will kill 5 shadowhunters. Here are my theories on who will die.

1.) Maurice Bridgestock

Lets start with the obvious first, of course this man will be killed. He is Inquisitor and that is a powerful yet cursed position, take it and you will die a horrible  death. I am hoping he dies pretty early, because I have a feeling until then he will be gunning for the Fairchild family. Remember he and his wife were the ones who really wanted Charles and Ariadne to marry. Charles and Ariadne were originally friends, who both figured that being forced into a hetro marriage was inevitable and that they could both do worse. Charlotte and Henry gave there blessing because they thought Charles and Ariadne were actually in love. Once Charles told this parents that he and Ariadne weren’t they immediately gave him permission to break the engagement and gave their blessing for him to marry someone else (who he doesn’t love either, Oh poor messed up fairchild family). This infuriated Bridgestock. Charles and Charlotte know to avoid him unless it is for official business, done in public, with witnesses. Does Matthew? Chapter 4 is called “The King is Dead”; so maybe the Inquisitor is the “King” listed. The next half of that phrase is “Long live the King” symbolizing the transition of power, so that would mean choosing a new Inquisitor. The most obvious ones to get the promotion is one of the TID dad’s given how close they are with Charlotte and the sway her vote would give. According to the cards it looks like she gives the position to Will (cough Gideon would have been a way better choice cough), we will see how that goes.

2.) One of the Wentworth’s

The Wentworth’s will have importance in the COI.They have been referenced and set up like the Lightwood’s in CWA. We know at least 3 of their names, we know that Martin Wentworth is kind of a thorn in Will and Gabriel’s side. We know that Piers and Rosamund have a... tense relationship with our mains, but do have their own friends and seem close to each other. Honestly with how much this family is mentioned/established I was thinking for a while that it would be just like the Lightwoods in CWP. Like maybe Piers was Eugenia’s ex boyfriend, maybe he had wanted to marry her but bad stuff was happening at home, his dad keeping secrets, and he couldn’t get blessings. Then that snip-bit at the party came out and I read about Eugenia being done with suitors and Piers hitting on Catherine. Piers still may be Eugenia’s ex, and he may trashed her rep and then moved on to courting his sister’s best friend. If so and he dies I will not miss him.

I would say Rosamund is pretty safe. She has a fiance now, and is planing her wedding. Wedding are actually great places for interactions and drama. Rosamund is good friends with Ariadne. Maybe Ariadne will try to bring Anna to the wedding, or maybe Ariadne will have Eugenia ask Anna to accompany her to the wedding, because Anna is less likely to say no to that, and then use that as a chance to “win her back.”

3.) At Least One of The Carstairs Parents

Risa Included. We all care about this family, we all wish their troubles could be over, and tat things and the next two books could be rainbows and sunshine for them. And we all know that will not happen. Terrible things will befall London. Elias is unbalanced from PTSD and weak from detoxing after years of addiction, Sona is weak from a difficult pregnancy/ recent childbirth, Risa is a mundane and lacks the ability to kill demons. They don’t have a lot of friends, all three are old. It is not fair and I hope whoever dies is at least given a good death.

4.) Cecily Lightwood Nee Herondale

I hope I am wrong, please let me be wrong. The family tree and CWP2 epilogue say that she will live through this, but those were written 7 years ago and are no longer accurate. The Second book always has one tragedy that will emotionally destroy us and leave us crying till the third comes out. It is unlikely that all The TID gang will live through another series. Other people have been guessing Gideon, but his branch already lost Barbara in COG2. In a book with so many nuclear families why kill from the same one twice? No it won’t be Gideon. After careful analysis I have determined Cecily is the most likely of the one to die.

First off Cecily didn’t come into TID until the final book and she was mostly squeezed in as a secondary character. That means that CC put less time and development into her and while she probably likes her, is maybe less attached to her. Secondly Cecily is some one very important to Both Will and Gabriel, two people Tatiana hates more than anyone in the world. She also played a key role in Killing the Lightworm, she caused it to wound itself to were Gabriel was able to kill it. For Tatiana Cecily would be three birds with one stone. Another reason she might die is Cecily is the only one of The TID characters who I cannot find any information on what her job/role in the clave is. Everyone else has a job listed, is seen investigating or talking at meetings, Cecily is just a mother, okay the best of the TSC mom’s. But having to take so much time off shadowhunting to raise her children might have put her out of practice, and having such a strong bond with her children, nieces, and nephews would make it all the more heart breaking if she died. One final reason is that unlike her Gabriel does have an overall arch. He idolized a fantasy of who his father was, had that come crashing down, then wanted to become someone different. His wife dying would put Gabriel just were Benedict was when Barbara Lightwood the first died: A single father with three kids, one of whom is coincidentally about the same age as Gabriel was when he lost his mother.

I love Cecily and writing this has made me very say (Please let me be wrong about her dying) but moving on...

5.) Tatiana Blackthorn Nee Lightwood

She will die. Tatiana probably joined Belial willingly, she probably does not see it, but Belial is not her ally. The truth is she is just as much Belial’s pawn as anyone he has tricked. When he is done using her and no longer has any use for her, he will kill her to keep her quiet. She will probably die last, her blood is Jesse’s and can be used as a sacrifice. She dedicated her life to resurrecting her son so she could have him back, and she will die with the knowledge that she has doomed him to Belial’s plans.

Bonus 6.) Charles Fairchild

Charles will not die. I originally I thought he might, but he is actually necessary as a foil/parallel to Matthew. Two brothers who grew up in the same family, yet have personalities and struggles that are literally flip sides of the same coin. Cassandra Clare has said she is planning on “developing” their relationship. She has also said Charles will be away for a lot of the book. So that does not leave a lot of space for this development in COI, and Charles has to make it until COT. I believe that he will disappear. No one will have any idea were he went or why, His parents will send out a search, while that is taking place Charlotte task Matthew with assisting her the way Charles usually does. Matthew will hate it. He will hate the piles of work and stuffy meetings; he will hate having less time to see his friends; and especially the cranky, foul mouthed, horrible politicians he has to deal with instead. As time goes by and the Killer at large Charlotte will become more desperate to find her older son. When she cannot find him her and Henry will start to fear the worst and cry over it at home.

Matthew will eventually start looking into his brothers disappearance, not because he misses him, but their parents are miserable and Matthew is tired of having to do Charles chores.  He might learn Charles and Alastair were “good friends” before and try to force information out of Alastair, Que to him learning one of his brothers secrets. While I do think Matthew will be the one to find Charles I do not think it will be until the end of COI or early COT, when Matthews life has morphed into a much bigger mess than it was before. I also do not think Charles will be in the same... way as he was before his disappearance. There will be a whole new list of issues when the brothers meet again.

[wwheeljack]

You answered my Crosshair question perfectly, thank you so much! Now I'm wondering, what would the other tbb boys think of their younger and adult selves? I know you said you're struggling with writing, so maybe this will be a good way to take a break? Please take your time answering, thank you!!

!! Another message hhhhh (I love the one you sent me about grumpy Crosshair, as that was a good thing for me to think of last night)!! Thank you so much for giving me a distraction and a way to try and think of the boys, Empress!!

Going oldest from youngest of the remaining three:

Wrecker:

Cadet!Wrecker would be absolutely in love with how awesome and powerful he'll be as an adult. He sees how he's his brothers' emotional rock, and how much he will risk for his family, and Cadet!Wrecker strives to be that man every day of his life.

He'd freeze a little seeing how much his injury affects him, but also would see that Wrecker willingly risked his life to save Tech. Cadet!Wrecker is, truthfully, the one who was the steadiest in growth from when he was a kid to a full-grown soldier. Wrecker definitely had to make improvements to his temper that he works on as he matures and ages, but he is the one who changed the least.

He's their emotional rock, after all, and their oldest brother - no matter the fact Wrecker doesn't ever want to lead, he still takes responsibility and will do what needs to be done to support his brothers. In all truths, Wrecker is the only one of the brothers who Hunter will look to for support, since Hunter feels he cannot pressure Tech with his own worries, and Hunter sometimes needs his oldest brother's support.

Cadet!Wrecker would beg for his older self to be open about his own hurt and feelings with his brothers, as he sees how he hides his pain and feelings behind a smile and a reassuring "Heh, I'm all good, Tech!" when Wrecker is anything but alright...

And Adult!Wrecker?

Adult!Wrecker would see how his life goal has always been to support his brothers, and to care for them indefinitely. He'd be proud of how hard cadet!Wrecker worked in his classes, even when Wrecker struggles with always concentrating on his schoolwork and would rather work his energy out in the weights room or during a simulation.

If there is one thing Adult!Wrecker would wish he could change about his cadet years, it would be how he acted when Crosshair first arrived into their unit. Wrecker was unaware of how his loudness and brash excitement made Crosshair feel very nervous, and thus made it harder for Crosshair to accept Wrecker and Hunter - so he'd encourage his younger self to give Crosshair time. To allow Crosshair to come to him when Crosshair actually felt comfortable with his loud brother.

Hunter:

Oh, Hunter... :(

Cadet!Hunter would look at his older self and just see the stress he's going to be under during the war. How his older self makes so many mistakes early on in the war because of how scared Hunter is - how Hunter constantly thinks he has to be strong and can't show his weakness/vulnerabilities to his brothers.

Adult!Hunter makes so many mistakes that Cadet!Hunter would never have imagined himself making, be they failing to communicate openly with Tech, or allowing his stress to further Hunter's arguments with Crosshair in the later years of the wars... Cadet!Hunter sees what the war does to him... how the war closes him off and makes Hunter so focused on what he could lose (his brothers) and how to prevent that... that Hunter forgets he needs comfort to..

Cadet!Hunter would be begging for adult!Hunter to allow himself to open up to his brothers about his many nightmares of losing his brothers... Anything to let Hunter remember he deserves comfort too...

And Adult!Hunter?

Hoo boy... Adult!Hunter would see how open he was, how hard he worked to comfort his brothers, and that he would seek out comfort from Wrecker before the war. Then he'd remember what the war has done, with the lingering prospect of losing his family hanging over his head and influencing his decisions and how he acts around his team?

Of all of them, Hunter is the one who really needs a hug... He always gives his brothers the time to worry over them and hug them... and forgets he needs the same in turn. Adult!Hunter would see how hard he was always trying to protect his brothers as a cadet, and that he was able to be open with them! That he doesn't have to close himself off and act so serious all the time... even during a war.

Adult!Hunter would likely sit down and cry as he remembers how much the war has taken from him, without ever actually stealing one of his brothers from him :/

Tech:

Oh boy. Tech has the most development from me, and thus... well... He has a lot of thoughts on himself...

Cadet!Tech would see how happy his adult self really is with his brothers and be proud! Proud that he escapes Sullo Pria physically and finds a family of brothers who would do anything (including kill) to protect Tech. Cadet!Tech would be somewhat flustered and surprised to see how close he becomes with Crosshair, and how their relationship is one of silent support - and he'd be so excited that he! That Tech could make friends!!!

But then Cadet!Tech would see what Tech's really doing to himself during the war and he'd want to yell at his older self to stop! Because, as the war progresses, Tech starts to shut his emotions away, to better serve his brothers.

He pushes all of his emotions down and represses them so that he cannot provide a distraction for his brothers due to his emotional self, and that leaves Adult!Tech suffering silently as he pushes his grief and sorrow and stress and fear into a tiny part of himself that he has to build up to keep himself from being a distraction.

Adult!Tech honestly believes his emotions are dangerous for his family, and that is why he represses them for so long. Once he saw how easy it was for his brothers to "weaken" because of Tech's emotions and distractible nature, Tech decided he had to fix those "bad" parts of himself by suppressing every single emotion he has inside him.

So his brothers see their youngest brother calm and level-headed and the calm glue of their family... when Cadet!Tech and Adult!Tech both know that he's struggling inside. Cadet!Tech would be very frustrated with his older self, and he'd try to make logical statements to how unhealthy it is to suppress your emotions... but Adult!Tech believes he is making the correct decision to help his brothers...

Then Adult!Tech...

Well... my Tech has so many thoughts on how he was raised, because those first four years continue to influence his ever decision to this day...

If he could change everything, Tech would make it so that he was never given to Sullo Pria... even if it meant he never met his brothers, or met them in a different manner then he did and thus had a different relationship with them. He is so convinced that she made him the weakest point of the team (and he has been acknowledged as Crosshair's weakness by the Kaminoans, which will be addressed when I eventually finish the cadet!Crosshair fic), that he'd do anything to change that... without ever realizing that his arrival to the team changed them all for the better.

Adult!Tech thinks he has to improve himself however possible, and he'd look at his younger self and regret everything - not being able to stand up to Sullo Pria, being oblivious to the fact it wasn't normal for her to beat him as much as she did, nor was it normal for Kaminoans to become so possessive of the clones they were tasked to train. Tech's goal has always been to protect and help his brothers in anyway he can, and if that meant changing his past so that he wasn't so "weak"... he'd try it.

He doesn't see how much his brothers need him, need their sad, broken nerd who needed affection and companionship and brothers who would risk everything for him, because Tech doesn't believe he is that to his brothers. He can acknowledge that his brothers love him, but he does not believe that he could ever be the force that saved his brothers and gave all three of them purpose.

But... if Tech could not change that much of his past, he would scream at his younger self to stand up for himself against Sullo Pria... even if she killed him, because he hurt his brothers by spying on them (against his will)... and because Tech knows that no good comes from how she raised him.

All Tech sees is that she made him emotional, when she wanted to remove his emotions, destroyed his confidence and thus always makes him second-guess his brothers words, and that her influence remains inside him even after the war... Tech finds himself to be a liability and he wishes he could change that part of himself as a cadet so that his brothers didn't have to spend their time worrying about him so much...

Tech seriously needs to realize how important he is - unchanged, just as he came - to his brothers... but I really have no idea how to approach the idea and have it work with my self-doubting Tech who has no self-confidence in anything but his intelligence... and who always doubts that he really means anything to his brothers.

How do I write that, and make it so he finally understands? It's an idea I keep trying to think of a solution to... and I have not found one yet...

[marshmallowprotection]

does secret ending saeran still hold any of the same personality traits when he was unknown? he's healing and changing as a person but sometimes i wonder what similarities in personality he still has with his old self.

Just to make this abundantly clear to anyone that is confused about this sort of thing: Unknown is SE Saeran. SE Saeran is Unknown. They’re the same person just in two different stages of life. This is entirely different from Ray, Suit Saeran, and GE Saeran. Those are different people. Okay, good. Glad to get this out of the way ahead of time. 

The entire second part of the Secret Endings is about Saeran and his experience and what he’s feeling in that moment. It explains to you what’s going on in his head and how lost he feels now that his purpose for living was ripped at the seams away from him. The only thing that gave him a sense of need was the revenge that Rika convinced him that he needed and now that... 

Now that he knows that it was a lie and that he was just a pawn to her the entire time? It hurts. It stings. Saeran watches and listens as this woman that had told him that she cares about him so willingly say to him in anger and in spite that: “I should have taken SAEYOUNG, NOT YOU!” 

Saeran was abandoned by Saeyoung and lied to by V. That was the story that she sold him and that’s what he’s been gaslit to believe over and over again till the day he was drowning in elixir. That ripped away from him causes him to do everything we see in the Secret Ending. That’s why we watch him struggle to find a sense of purpose in his life. 

We see him scream and shout and beg for answers that the universe won’t give to him. We can only feel the pain in his heart as he talks about how empty he is feeling and how lost he feels, even if he’s able to look at the sky as much as he wants now. There’s still a sense of loss in his heart. 

SE Saeran is a very complex man by a long mile and I think it’s not quite correct to call him a sardonic asshole who rips his brother to shreds. Yes, he’s bitter and he’s honest and blunt. He’s not going lash out like that. His personality is literally built off of Seven’s dream sequence and the one photo that we have of him so you have to take me with a grain of salt but I’ve had so long to think about who he is. 

The entire last half of the SE is spent with Saeran feeling like there’s no point in living. Saeyoung has to stop him from hurting himself. It’s a very serious mood that should never be discounted. That being said, Saeyoung took his brother from the hospital to protect him. He knows that his brother needs help that he isn’t trained to give, but if he left him in the hospital where he is lashing out and hurting people more and more...

Jumin’s kindness cannot protect Saeran from the moment someone finds out that Saeran Choi is the son of Saejoong Choi. Nor Saeyoung. He doesn’t want his brother to die. He doesn’t want to die. They’re kind of free, but they’re not free. That’s the saddest part about the Secret Endings. The agency is taken down but Saejoong is not. Saeyoung and Saeran still have to live in hiding from the government. 

They are not truly free. 

Saeran says himself what we know exists within Suit Saeran. “If I am the biggest monster. Nobody can hurt me. I can do whatever I want.” But, we all know that that isn’t healthy. We all know what that does. We all know how GE Saeran had to learn about that. It’s only harder for SE Saeran because he... he doesn’t have MC with him and he was forced to toil alone forever until he was ripped away from Mint Eye. 

It’s harder to help yourself if you are forced into help rather then being allowed to choose it for yourself. When does Saeran get to decide what happens? Saeyoung decides. V decides. Rika decides. Saeran never gets to decide what happens to him and you know what? You know why SE Saeran looks so tired and so lost in that CG? Because of that. Because of his lack of choice and it hurts me every time I think about him. 

He really thinks that he will be free if he’s...

Saeyoung stops him, thank goodness, and reasons with him. And yet, when Saeran lashes out and tries to kill Saeyoung instead first. He can’t do it. He just realizes that he can’t do it. He realizes that this was wrong. This isn’t what he really wants. He realizes that Saeyoung would die for him if he wanted. 

He realizes that Saeyoung really does care. It hurts him and it hurts to know but from that point onward, he is able to... try and move forward. He begs for answers but Saeyoung tells him that he can choose for himself, but getting to this point hurt. And it wasn’t his choice to come here. His only choice is this. To keep trying. 

That being said, SE Saeran is going to struggle with his anger beyond this and he is going to have moments where he has nightmares, night terrors, and flashbacks. He is going to live with his pain but he has his brother now... and he has the MC. It’s not going to be perfect but it’s a life that he can try to live what’s been given to him.

Trust me, he’s going to have really bad days and okay days and good days, but it’s going to be a long fight for himself. Ideally, he can get into therapy and work there through a lot of it as well as find a safe ground with Saeyoung that doesn’t hurt himself in the process. His personality is going to carry the weight of his pain and trauma. He will be dry and stiff, curt with other people, and withdrawn from the world.

He doesn’t interact with people by choice. He keeps to himself, but he’s quietly finding a way to live. I personally love SE Saeran and it’s a shame I don’t get to talk about him as much as I’d like. 

[and-damntheconsequences]

Modern Merlin AU — With Gays and Churches

Slight CW for religious homophobia, and ofc I know that the majority of Christians are loving and beautiful people 💕

**

The Cast:

Uther: A firmly anti-gay pastor who is well known and mostly respected by the congregation and the community.

Ygraine: Uther's ex wife who divorced him after she found about an affair he had once had with a woman who named Vivian.

Arthur: Their son, who lives entirely with Uther and attends a religious school nearby.

Leon: Arthur's friend who also attends that school, who's parents have been going to Uther's church for years and years.

Merlin: A boy who recently joined the school after moving with his uncle, who teaches there. Also a closeted gay.

Gaius: An old friend of Uther's, a teacher at the school, and the only other person who knows about the affair.

Morgana: Uther's child from his affair with Vivian. She moves in with Uther when she's 10, since her mother can't financially support them both anymore.

Gwen: A girl at the school, who Arthur dates briefly in order to "prove" that he is straight.

Elyan: Gwen's brother, who lived with more distant family for a few years and has recently returned.

All other "round table" knights: New kids (they arrive at different times) who's parents have recently converted to Christianity and enrolled them in the school. Gwaine's family actually came from another church but he doesn't talk about that much, since he's not actually religious himself. Also Gwaine picks fights with homophobic teachers.

Kilgharrah: Either an angel, a demon, God Himself, or the school principal, I can't decide. Whichever he is, he occasionally pops up to give both Merlin and Arthur utterly useless life advice, in whatever form that takes depending on who he is. If he's somehow celestial, it's probably through sarcastic comments in dreams. If he's the school principal, he's just... That teacher that decides that stopping you in the corridor to Impart Words Of Adult Wisdom is a great use of everyone's time.

**

The Plot:

Uther becomes pastor at a church, and marries Ygraine. She disagrees with many of his views, but doesn't speak up about them, wanting to be a "good wife". That is, until she discovers that he once had an affair with a woman named Vivian and gave her a child. Ygraine then quietly divorces him and leaves, too afraid of making a fuss to try to get custody of Arthur. Uther tells everyone, including Arthur, that it was her choice to leave and that she willingly parted from the ways of the Lord. No one knows about the affair except him, her, and Vivian (and Gaius).

Arthur grows up with only Uther, not having many close friends, only Leon, who he's known his whole life and who's parents are also very religious. When Arthur is around 10, Vivian turns up on their doorstep, insisting that she has fallen into financial trouble, and cannot look after her child anymore. Uther takes Morgana in, insisting it was an act of charity on his behalf, and that Vivian was only an old friend. Everyone believes he is being a good samaritan, but secretly he hopes that if he "redeems" his child to the church, he may find redemption for what he did. Arthur and Morgana are the same age, and Uther begs Morgana not to tell Arthur the truth (threatening her for if she does), so he doesn't know she's his sister. They get on, mostly, but Arthur's a bit of a prat in lecturing her about God sometimes because he thinks that's how you make friends.

Anyway, a few years later, when Arthur is around 14, Merlin joins his school (they're roughly the same age here, Merlin only a few months younger.) He was sent to his uncle by his mother, since he came out to her and she didn't accept him. She wanted him to go to church and a religious school to "fix" him. He now lives with Gaius, and goes back into the closet for the time he's at school. He quickly becomes friends with Gwaine, who doesn't have many friends and is constantly in trouble for arguing with bigoted teachers.

Because he's really academic, Uther asks Gaius if it would be possible for Merlin to come round and help tutor Arthur in order to catch Arthur up with his studies, so Merlin starts coming around every Tuesday and Thursday. They slowly become friends, despite Merlin being quite rude, and Arthur having the most frustrating "holier than thou" attitude because he's the priest's son. Merlin develops a crush on him, and quickly gives up on trying to deny his sexuality to himself, but he can't tell Arthur, or anyone else.

In time, Merlin stops being so afraid of his own sexuality, and sneaks off to a pride parade and attends an LGBT group a couple of times. Gaius suspects what he might be doing, but says nothing.

When Morgana turns 16, she tells them all that she thinks she might be a lesbian. She's scared, but hopes that Uther may be understanding. Instead, he kicks her out, despite Arthur's protests that it isn't fair. She goes to live with some friends in similar situations, and over the next few months, cuts off Uther completely, changes school, and starts regularly attending LGBTQ+ events and just generally living her best lesbian life.

This makes Uther incredibly angry, and he takes it out on Arthur a lot, who starts going to Gaius and Merlin's after school to avoid him. He texts Morgana a bit, but is afraid to keep close contact with her, and still sees homosexuality as a sin. However, this whole situation has made him actually think about his own sexuality, and he's now afraid that maybe HE himself isn't totally straight. To prove that he is to himself, he asks Gwen on a date, but he can't ever truly like her, and she knows that.

At the same time, Merlin is trying to get rid of his crush on Arthur because he doesn't want to ruin that friendship, so he starts going to pride groups weekly, to meet others. He meets Will, a trans guy, and they almost date for a while, but Merlin can't commit to it because of his own feelings. Morgana happens to meet him there, and at first that interaction is a little awkward, but instead of pressuring him, she just gives him a hug, and tells him it's okay, she's learnt that now. She'll always be here for him if he needs to feel safe away from Uther/Arthur, or the school as a whole. He tells her that he hopes Arthur could be different from his father, and she says she hopes so, but she doesn't believe he would be — he seems to hate her too now. But that's okay. She's got a new family now. She's happy.

And then, eventually, Arthur comes to accept his own feelings, and Gwen does hers. He talks to Merlin about how he isn't sure if he's straight, and eventually they date, and then kiss. Gwen has a Bisexual Awakening™, and she reconnects with Morgana (they were friends before Morgana left) and they date too. Hunith (who's been having a side plot of researching things and learning and becoming a better, more accepting person) comes to stay with Gaius for a while, and tells Merlin she loves him, and will always love him no matter who he's with, and she's sorry she never said that before now.

When Arthur turns 18, his mother reaches out to him. She was too afraid to risk upsetting Uther and the church before, but she wants to know if he's okay. He's angry at her for all the years she was silent, and all the things he didn't know, and for leaving him, but in time, she tells him the truth. Morgana also tells Arthur the truth, knowing now that he doesn't blindly believe his father, and this won't tear a rift between them. Uther's affair is then revealed to the whole congregation, most of whom are appalled, and his reputation is ruined. The church gets a new pastor.

Some of the kids realise that they don't need religion to be valid and happy, and others realise that they can have both religion and love, and God can love them no matter who they are with. Both are okay, and everyone accepts everyone. They all live their best, gayest, cutest, and happiest lives.

***

Feel free to add stuff I love this concept. Also someone needs to write something like this and tag me bc I cannot write this myself — I'm incapable of managing the 3 fics I'm writing at the moment.

[woozi]

i agree how you described twt, sometimes everyone's just ready to fight it seems, i've genuinely had fun on both platforms at different times but now it's just too much on stan twt (no space for difference of opinion djsjdjj) it's good to know you're having fun as well :3 & omg i've seen few of my moots starting to give svt their attention after fallin flower dropped, everything abt it is <3333 the song, mv, choreo i love it.

hdjdjddkdjdj " virgos 😐 " also me in next breath "happy birthday mark :D i love you so much 🥺💕💗" any virgos reading this i really hope you enjoy your month to the fullest djjdjd <3. righttt?? you're correct abt mark's temper being very virgo djdjdkd.

your line screams hard-working people <3 jihoon, jaebeom, jeonghan the 3Js <3. isn't jaebeom also an infj? (i don't take mbtis seriously but at the same time it also makes me happy if it ends up matching someone i like djdjjd) chan & yugs 🥺 these two imo have the sweetest personality, like the one which makes you feel welcomed & they also have the cutest laugh 🥺.

i love jus2 <3 focus on me is one of my favorite kpop mvs of all time & also drunk on you??? i love this song so much, very sexy of them. the vibes, style and everything w/ their album, i want more songs like that. and for when i am feeling melancholy i need more songs like jjp's verse 2 😭💔 but i am also okay if they don't want to go back to these units bcoz everything so far they've been giving is just as great <33 ( maybe in future we'll get blessed w/ features 🥺)

honestly g7 as grp and individually have won me over with their music style, even if i don't like full album ik there will be 3-4 songs which will be exactly what i like to listen to, all of the music they've released individually i've liked it so much. there is this song of youngjae's, titled "i'm all ears" i had no idea of its existence until it popped up in my spotify i'm so glad it did, it's been in my playlist ever since. there was also a time when i was obsessed with jackson's 'on the rocks' djdjdk.

aww <3 the live performance video of 1° has mark as thumbnail so for long time i used to associate this song with him jdjddk. i think the only j*pe thing i'd miss is got7 studio live sessions 🥺. RIGHTJDKSKS aju nice's mv is very cute djjddk I love it, in reality its reverse tho, i see them and boom! 💖💛💗🤍💕💙

it was the year they won first bb*as award so that gave them the exposure, and no i don't follow them anymore. mixed feelings abt them, very negative feelings abt f*ndom fjdjdjd. i do miss what it used to feel like liking them sometimes. at that time i never thought i'll willingly drop them from my interest (i've stanned zayn since 2012 first him as grp member then solo. sometimes thinking abt it gives me a whiplash hddjks it's been 9 years, really thought it would be same with them too but it didn't happen)

i've had falling in love by yugs and in to you by jaebs on loop for days djdkdk i really love these two songs and also air by bammie <3 (i'm slow jams kinda person djdjdk :3)

(bam released the most fun album & title this year idc abt others, ribbon is one of the soty) also special mention of look so fine & running through the rain. yes! you do make sense they feel organic & very them.

exactly 😭 it's more believable when they drop stuff out of nowhere like encore 😭😭. the way youngjae posted his letter on twt too ddjjdkssk the announcement & release of encore is such a 'you just had to be there' situation the excitement, nervousness, confusion and everything 😭 sometimes i can't with them. also is the bibi with mark on ost, the same one you mentioned in last ask? the ost is really good <3, it must've been fun to see it happen (if its same bibi).

making a whole ass playlist just for me???? 😭😭😭🥺💗 yza you're so sweet nooooo 💖

and don't worry abt replying late jdjdkdjd i mean it, sometimes my friends text me after weeks and i'm am the same. it's really okay <3. i hope this week is treating you kindly, take care yza - 🪂

p.s ( just saw last post djjej) - it was me who manifested more bunny dino <3 manifesting even more <33

i was on stan twt during my younger years too and it was v fun and memorable to me ngl <3 idk what happened though.. it's evolved to be.. Something Else.. i still see a lot of good people there though 😭 and now that i'm in my Hag Era... idk it's just too fast for me now 😭 it's still my go-to place for updates though nothing can top twitter on that dept

and ms fallin flower.... i feel like everyone was blown away by it (based off of what i see carats when talk about it) and rightly so!! she SERVED. the looks too oh my god. it's another factor i look forward to and enjoy so much when i watch their performances!!

u know what? virgos 😐 indeed KJJKDFJKFDJKFDKJ i want to slander virgos today because it's their season and no one slanders them that often so <3 ABOUT MARK'S VIRGO TEMPER THOUGH... i know i've said i enjoy seeing it sm but whenever i think abt it i cant help but say that.. I Love His Temper <3 he doesn't get pissed off in a scary and douchebag-y way it seems so... contained?? IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT he punched an a/c though so that might not be the perfect word to describe him lmaoo <3

THE J TRINITY HFDJFJDJHDF BESTIE UR MIND IS SO!!!!!!!!!!! honestly... maybe it's the acts of service for me <3 JKDFKJFDKJFJKD i think this is just my eldest sister and savior syndrome speaking though kfjkdkjf ALSO OH MY GOD THE WAY U NOTICE THESE THINGS <3 THAT'S SO SEXIE OF U!!! and yes he used to be an infj!! there was an interview that's more recent wherein he mentioned that he's now an enfj though but i cant rmb which interview it's from :/ ALSO MOOD FKJJKGJGKF i dont believe in mbtis too but im just... a little obsessed w it for the fun of it all <3 and the way u described them </3 what if i tear up a little </3 I LOVE CHAN'S LAUGH SO MUCH BUT IM SO SOS O GLAD U BROUGHT UP YUGYEOM'S LAUGH??????????? IT'S NOT TALKED ABT ENOUGH LIKE...... HELLO!!!!!!!!!!! one of my bird moots said he sounded like a schoolboy in choir 😭😭😭😭😭😭

GOD UR TASTE!!!!!!! what if i start falling in l*ve a little :/ what then :/ focus on me was ahead of it's time and people fucking slept on THEM i cannot fucking believe this. this has to be some kind of sick joke 😭 ALSO HAVE U SEEN THE CHOREO FOR SENSES!!!!!!1 INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!! holy fuck!!!!!! sorry for the expletives but like.... holy SHIT they did THAT!!!!!!!! ALSO UR SO RIGHT </3 jjp verse 3 when... ALSO did u know i let go of the jjprojects url... thats the worst mistake of my life KDKJDSKJDSJK also agree wholeheartedly <3 i think they're all trying to find their footing this time around as soloists and im so proud of them for that!! i'll stand by my jus2 agenda though bc they're almost in the same company so maybe.. i might have hope left 😭

SO TRUE BESTIE!!! the same principle goes w svt for me as well <3 got7's such a flavorful group musically like... all of them have the capacity to go solo and they're still considered flops.. waht the fuck <3 ALSO OMG FJDKJFKFJD YOU'VE HEARD The Song!!!!!!!! maybe he'll be releasing something along those lines <3 esp now that he's supposedly coming w an album KJSJKDJSK on a similar note.. do u also listen to jamie (the other artist on the song) <3 NOO SHUT UP THIS CANNOT BE FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 i was obsessed w on the rocks too 😭😭😭😭😭😭 IT WAS MY FAVORITE ON THE MIRRORS ALBUM HELLO??????????????????????????? im proposing to u rn

ok now i have to watch all the live vids again JKDSJKSJDKDSKJ ik keep saying 'ur so right', 'i agree', and 'so true bestie' but im gonna have to say this again bc i LOVE LOVE LOVE live sessions sm no matter the artist. i also just am a little partial to live bands in performances like that in general so JDJKKDSJDS

the way you're saying these cute things abt the svteenies.. </3 giving me heartache!!! i'd bully them though i can't coddle them anymore <3

not the fandom JKFDKJFDKJFDKJFKJF ok but i think it's mostly their younger fans tbh. it wasn't this bad before.. i also really liked bts during their debut days. their songs were really good!! i kind of lost interest though and couldn't really get into them although their songs slapped lol. my irls are still into them though so i still hear about them. 9 YEARS............................... wait oh my god it HAS BEEN a little over a decade since 1d was The Thing huh 😭 now i feel kinda old lmao. and i totally get that feeling </3 it really do be like that sometimes JKFDJKJKFD

you really ARE keeping up w the sevens oh my god how are you doing it!!!!!!!!!!! it's like getting svt content now at this point but more complicated bc u need to get the updates from different sources JDKJSDKJJSKD love ur song choices too <3

ALSO FULLY RELATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when i saw bam's teasers... the aes was my cup of tea and THE HIGHLIGHT MEDLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't fucking get it out of my mind it's objectively one of the best things i've seen from kpop in 2021. i'm super impressed <3 love how abyss really supported bambam on this. they really went all in for him!!

I KNOW GKJDFJDK I GOT SUPER ???????/// DURING THE TIME EVERYONE THOUGHT THEY WERE DISBANDING LMAOOOO they pulled a move that's so unheard of though no one really expected That. i respect jaebeom so much for handling all the paperwork and shit behind the scenes it must've been HELL!! ALSO IT MEANT I CRIED FOR NOTHING THEN 😭😭😭 AND YES OH MY GOD IT'S THE SAME BIBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE SHOCK I HAD WHEN I SAW THE LIST????????????????????????? thought i was gonna black out like,,, mark,,, AND BIBI??????????????? she's fucking phenomenal how is she just a YEAR older than me.. INSANE!!! ... and i also thought jackson was gonna have an ost for this movie.. idk why it wasn't released though i didnt look into it :/

i had a rough few days so i'm not yet finished with the playlist (my laptop's Dead i am still trying to revive her and uni's starting soon 😭) but for the mean time, here's another one that some people from caratblr previously asked for JDSJKSDJ these are mostly english songs though its not my k-playlist KJDSKJSDJK

i do hope this week gets better!!! and i hope that you'll have a fun one too <3 thank u for being so patient w me 🥺 i just get so many messages and find the need to recharge FDKJDFJK

ALSO I FELT LIKE IT WAS U!!!!!! OH MY GOD, i even searched my blog for the word manifest but for some reason your ask didn't come up in the search so i didnt mention u in the tags so i wont misattribute if it ends up not being u 😭 thank u for manifesting this chan for me he's my little... hop hop now ig... 😭

[han-shinsuke]

s a c h i r o h i r u g a m i x L u n a

Ⓝ︎Ⓞ︎Ⓣ︎ Ⓢ︎Ⓤ︎Ⓘ︎Ⓣ︎Ⓐ︎Ⓑ︎Ⓛ︎Ⓔ︎ Ⓕ︎Ⓞ︎Ⓡ︎ Ⓨ︎Ⓞ︎Ⓤ︎Ⓝ︎Ⓖ︎ Ⓡ︎Ⓔ︎Ⓐ︎Ⓓ︎Ⓔ︎Ⓡ︎Ⓢ︎

🔞🔞🌼🌼⚠️⚠️

“ɪ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪ'ʟʟ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴄʜᴀsɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ, ᴍʏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ɪs ʏᴏᴜʀs ᴛᴏ ʜᴏʟᴅ”—the light, the heat.

🍁🍁🍁

“When will you stop?” Sachiro’s frequent question every time I dropped by in his unit. Instead of answering, I would just gave him my usual smile as I starts arranging his essentials in the cupboard. He develops this kind of habit after he lost his girlfriend and their two dogs in a car accident two years ago. Sachiro would question the actions he thinks inappropriate and useless. He’d also question his existence and why it was only him who survived the fatal car crash.

Sachiro stands on his feet and picks up the remote control of his theater television, “you should stop coming here, Luna, I am not your obligation.” He says as he turned off the t.v.

It was his habitual manner, driving away those who cares for him, shutting down every help that tries to sneak in his life.

“Once you get better, Hiro, you won't see this face anymore.” I was smiling wide when I told him the same answer I keep telling him but, deep down in my heart, I was crying.

I put the last can of processed meat on top of his other canned goods and closed the glass lead of the storage.

“I won’t get better, Luna, I’m a hopeless case.”

“No. You will, soon.”

“There are situations and people that love could not cure, Luna, why can’t you accept that fact?”

“Because it was love that saved you! Her love for you that I’d never be able to surpass! She saved you, Hiro! It's your dead girlfriend who sacrificed her life for you to live so, please, Hiro, value the life she willingly surrendered just for you.”

I turned my head immediately when my voice broke. I'm in haste of preventing more tears to come out from my eyes.

“Luna...” I did not respond to his call. I took few steps away from him and breathe out some heavy air. Calm down. Calm down. I keep telling myself.

“Excuse me, Sachiro, I need to bring your soiled clothes to the laundry station.”

I walked pass him once I finished gathering his clothes and my things. Even if he doesn’t want it, I would still help him and I will keep coming back.

“Drive safely,” I heard him uttered before the door shut closed.

🍁🍁🍁

The next day, I received a text from him asking if I could stay in his unit tonight. My lips pouted as I started typing my reply. Was it really him that wanted me to come over and spend a night in his home? That's new!

“Greatest martyr of this generation, Luna, Sachiro's fxck buddy!” I almost slap my officemate when she peek on my phone and teases me.

“Got problem with that, Olivia? Gosh! You're so loud!” I pressed the send button and put back the phone inside my drawer.

“I just can't believe you, Luna. You could date other men so why are you sticking with someone who can't even see your worth and efforts? You've been his friend since high school and from that point of your life, how come he didn't notice your feelings for him? Gosh! Good thing I never had a guy best friend and I'm not in your shoes, I can't imagine myself falling in love with a man like that!”

Me, too, Olivia. I never thought I would chase after the immovable, Sachiro Hirugami.

🍁🍁🍁

“hmmm...” I was gripping hard on the backrest of the couch while my core is being penetrated by Sachiro's member. I can't remember how or when we started. All I know is, I am loving every touch and kisses on my skin. His strength is dominating my small body. Giving cues and instructions of what I should do to return the pleasures he's letting me to feel freely.

“Gosh, Sachiro! Your moving so fast aahh~” I lost count of the times I had been calling his name since we started. My legs are shaking from being sprawled wide while he pounds me from behind. He was groaning and breathing heavily as he slams his shaft deep and hard into me, the head of his thing hitting the perfect spot.

“Fxck! Fxck! You're so hot inside aaaahh! Aaaahh!” I buried my head deeper against the softness of the couch. He's growing bigger inside me and I can't help but let out a mewl sound of pleasure.

Sachiro keeps slamming his hips against my buttocks. The slapping sounds of skin against skin are getting louder by each seconds. I thought he'd be contented with just thrusting in and out inside me but Sachiro squeezes my breasts harder. I winced from pain and for a moment, I wanted him to stop. Using my left hand, I tried prying his squeezing fingers on my nipple but Sachiro hastily pulls out his cxck from my cunt and without a warning, slams it inside my tight anusxx. A strange cold enveloped my body and little by little, a burning sensation started to follow. That's when I have realized that all the hot nights we've shared together, this was the first time Sachiro have had invaded another hole of my body.

“Sac–Sachiro don’t move aaahhh yet pleasee~” I was crying already before I could even realized it. We've never done analx before! Sachiro pulls out and slams in continuously, not minding how my body shakes from the burning pain.

“You’re aaahhh squeezing me hard aaahhh!” I cannot control this part of my body. I just feel pain and only pain. I can feel it too. My muscles clenching his pumping cxck.

Sachiro continues giving me heavy thrusts in spite of my cries and pleads to slow his pace.

“Sachiro pleaseee aahhh~ I–I can’t take more aaahh!” I yelped when he spanked my hips thrice and then groped my butt cheeks harder than the spanks he had given me.

My body dropped on the ledge of the couch’ backrest, my hands swinging with my body due to his heavy thrusts. I caught a glimpse of my frail situation from the glass door of his balcony. Never in my life I thought I would ended up being his slxt. I’m his best friend. His companion. His trusted ally. How did we end up here? With all my remaining strengths, I managed to withdraw his cxck from my butt and pushed him away while hiding my nakedness under his shirt I picked up from the side.

“Let’s stop!” I cried, hand slapping his hands when he tries snatching my body.

I looked down at his erection and it's still hard and pulsating at the same time. Sachiro stares down at me with his darkened aura. He's really intimidating.

“I’m close, Luna...” his voice rings like a growl, “Be a good girl and spread wide for me.”

When I’m about to snap at him, Sachiro snatches his shirt from my tight hold and pulls my right ankle while pushing me down the couch as he spread and bend my legs wide. My mouth parted when he dips his cxckhead on my entrance and shoves it deep.

I writhed from the suddenness of his actions and all I could do is bite down on the skin of Sachiro's broad shoulder as he starts pumping roughly.

My head tilts to every direction when he started kissing and licking my neck.

“Sachirooo~ I’m aahhh fertile... You can’t cum inside me aaahhh~” I positioned my palms on his biceps, ready to push him if he shows any signs of retracting his thing out from my cxnt.

“Fxck! I'll cum inside you, Luna aaahh! I don’t fxcking care if you're fertile or not aaahh!”

My eyes widened at his words. I started to panic when his thing throbs inside me. That's the signal! He's about to shoot all of his loads inside me!

“Aaahnnggh Noo, Sa–Sachirooo! Gosh! Don’t cum inside me aaahh! Fxck wait! Shxt!”

Sachiro pins my both hands on top of my head, restricting my will to fight.

“Lemme fill you up with my seeds, Luna hnnggghh~” And just like that, I'm shaking my head in disapproval. My body also shakes from his fast and deep thrusts. I'm nearing my climax and Sachiro won't even let me to get away.

I just lay on the couch with my trembling legs. Sachiro on top, pumping even better. Moments later, I can feel his warm loads shooting inside me, filling me up until it drips down from my core.

“You really can’t take all my seeds huh? Look, Luna, our juice overflows from your pinkish pusxy hmm~”

I didn't speak. I just lay underneath him, his weight still perched on my small frame, staringg blankly at the ceiling as I breathe heavily. I feel his fingers gliding under my chin and when he lifted my face, Sachiro rewarded my lips with soft and slow kisses. I closed my eyes and opened my mouth, allowing his poking tongue to explore my insides.

.......................

“Sachiro.” I called his name softly.

“Hmm?” He hummed, his head laying above my lap.

I was sitting on his bed while he lays there, eyes closed. It's already two in the morning and we just finished pleasuring each other.

“Want me to sing a song?” I asked, smiling.

Sachiro nods his head and that serves as my cue to proceed.

• All For You

Artists: The Light The Heat

—song starts here— f l a s h b a c k s

You're the one I've waited all my life for

You're the one I'd lose it all and die for

And as the sun transforms into the moon

I pray we'd never lose the fire of our youth

—c o l l e g e d a y s—

Sachiro: Luna! I have a crush!

Luna: It's me, I know! I'm beautiful enough to be your crush.

Sachiro: so much confidence my friend! It isn't you. It's Janna of science department.

Luna: Tsk! What do you want me to do? Build you a bridge?

Sachiro: If that's possible? Why not?

I know I'll never stop chasing your heart

My love is yours to hold

Through every high and every low

Our love will only grow

And I'll be here when the sun sets

And I'll be here till our final breath

My love is all for you

—g r a d u a t i o n—

Luna: Congratulations, my friend!

Sachiro: Thank you, Luna!

Luna: Let's celebrate in your parents’ house, Hiro! I'm missing tita’s spaghetti bolognese.

Sachiro: Uh, I can't, Luna, I have a date with Janna.

Luna: What? You promised me, Hiro! You told me we would celebrate together!

Sachiro: We could do it tomorrow, Luna. Bye! See you tomorrow!

—e n d o f f l a s h b a c k s—

In the darkness, our love shines the brightest

When it's hardest, it won't paralyze us

When it feels like we have lost our way

We may bend, but darlin', we will never break

How long? I asked myself over and over again. How long do I have to endure all the pain? Why can't you see me the way I wanted you to, Sachiro? When will you realize that I keep loving you from the very beginning of our existence? We laughed together. We cried together. We succeeded together. But in the end, it isn't't me you want to spend your lifetime with. It would never be me.

Even as we wait for time to heal the broken parts

Our light will find a way where hope is dim and skies are blurry

Take my hand, and we will feel the wind upon our shoulders

Together, we are stronger

Together, we are stronger

I’m sorry, Sachiro. I know you'll never forgive me after this but it's for your own sake. I would never let you destroy your life. You need help. You need shelter. And those I cannot provide alone.

I know I'll never stop chasing your heart

My love is yours to hold

I dialled a number in my phone. It took me months to think about this thoroughly and now I have decided to finally do it.

My love is all for you

It's all for you....

“He–ello? This is Luna, please ta–take him with you.”

I planted a soft kiss on his forehead, tears pouring heavily from my eyes. Sachiro smiles then open his eyes.

“Thank you, Luna. Thank you for not leaving me,” He whispers while wiping the tears away from my face.

🌼🌼🌼

Seven Years Later

Location: Talinn, Estonia

( mutter means mama/mother in german language)

( Meine Geliebte – My love )

“Mutter, Luna! Mutter, Luna!” I heard my son's voice yelling from outside. I almost dropped the plate I am wiping dry because of the tone he uses. It's so urgent and alarming.

I ran outside and I saw my son, biting his lip and I think he's about to cry.

“What is it, Vin?” I asked, eyes scanning our neighborhood, “where’s your sister? Where's Hedy?”

My son wraps his small arms around my waist and buries his face, “a woman took her, mutter!” he says, sobbing.

“Ssshh, stop crying, Vin, we'll find your twin.”

.......

I'm driving my audi as carefully as I could on the snowy road of Talinn, eyes looking at every corner and establishments I passed by in hope of finding my daughter and her abductor. I glanced on the mounted phone near the steering wheel and the tracker shows she's nearby but currently moving around a specific place in the town. My son's still sobbing from the backseat and I can't think of a better solution to calm him. Good thing I bought them a paired necklace with built-in gps in it. Almost eighty percent of youngsters are wearing the same thing as them to decrease the number of children's kidnap cases all over the world.

“Mutter, what's going on there?” Vin points a finger on the Russalka Memorial, wherein the sculpture of an Angel holding an orthodox cross, erected. A number of people starts to gather there. Out of curiosity, I stopped the car and climbed down the car with my son. Hedy might be there! I thought.

Few more steps and I'm close to the flock of crowds wandering around the bronze monument.

But, out of nowhere, the song I sung seven years ago, started playing all over the place of Kadriorg, Talinn. I stood on my spot, frozen. Heart pounding loudly. Then the crowd opens up, giving way through to the monument. There, I found my daughter giggling while the man I keep praying for to heal up until now is giving his own child a piggy back ride while being accompanied by a dog.

“That’s her, mutter! She's the one who had taken away my sister!” Vin exclaimed then run towards his sister.

Sachiro! I broke down in heavy tears, shoulders shaking as I cried loudly at where I stand. Alisa Haiba, one of our college friend is taking pictures of my daughter and her Dad.

Alisa hands Vin a chocolate and do a finger heart sign. She holds my son's hand and taps Sachiro's back, pointing my direction. Sachiro stops playing with Hedy. He put her down carefully and smiled at me.

Sachiro whispers something at Alisa and the latter nodded her head as a response. He, then, walks towards me. I took steps backwards and think of running but he caged me in his arms.

“I’m sorry, Sachiro! I’m so sorry for sending you in rehab! I’m so sorry for being so selfish!” I never cried so hard in my life. It hurts seeing him here but at the same time, I’m so glad that he's here, looking so fine and healthy.

Sachiro cups my face and adhere our foreheads. He breathes in my scent and I did the same. I missed him so bad!

“Ssshh, I understand, Luna. I should be the one asking for your forgiveness. You bears so much pain alone. A bad man don't deserve an angel like you. You keep saving me even if it's your reputation is at stake. I’m sorry, Luna, sorry for causing you so much pain.”

“I love you, Sachiro! I'll forever do!” I hug him tightly, afraid of losing him again. Sachiro hug me with same intensity and later on he did something unexpected.

Sachiro kneels in front of me, grinning and crying at the same time.

“Will you let me in again in your life, Meine Geliebte?” Sachiro pulls out a ring-sized handcuffs made of gold and adorned with tiny diamonds. He locks our ring fingers between the ring and says, “thank you for saving me, Luna, let me protect you and our children this time.”

🍁🍁🍁🍁

[religioused]

Church Flies First Class

PIE Day Sermon

by Gary Simpson

Hebrew Scriptures:

Numbers 21:4-9 (CEV)

The Israelites had to go around the territory of Edom, so when they left Mount Hor, they headed south toward the Red Sea. But along the way, the people became so impatient that they complained against God and said to Moses, "Did you bring us out of Egypt, just to let us die in the desert? There's no water out here, and we can't stand this awful food!"

6 Then the LORD sent poisonous snakes that bit and killed many of them. Some of the people went to Moses and admitted, "It was wrong of us to insult you and the LORD. Now please ask him to make these snakes go away." Moses prayed, and the LORD answered, "Make a snake out of bronze and place it on top of a pole. Anyone who gets bitten can look at the snake and won't die."

9 Moses obeyed the LORD. And all of those who looked at the bronze snake lived, even though they had been bitten by the poisonous snakes.

John 3:14-21 (CEV)

And the Son of Man must be lifted up, just as that metal snake was lifted up by Moses in the desert. Then everyone who has faith in the Son of Man will have eternal life.

For God So Loved the World God loved the people of this world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who has faith in him will have eternal life and never really die.

17 God did not send his Son into the world to condemn its people. He sent him to save them! No one who has faith in God's Son will be condemned. But everyone who doesn't have faith in him has already been condemned for not having faith in God's only Son.

19 The light has come into the world, and people who do evil things are judged guilty because they love the dark more than the light. People who do evil hate the light and won't come to the light, because it clearly shows what they have done. But everyone who lives by the truth will come to the light, because they want others to know that God is really the one doing what they do.

Reflection:

Our Lectionary readings include one of the best known and most quoted and loved passages of the Christian Scriptures, John 3:16. The King James Version resonates for me because I have heard it so often. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. I am not sure if John 3:16 is why the Gospel of St. John is loved so much. For "many people," John's Gospel is "the most precious book in the Bible." (1) Scholar William Barclay observes that John can be "read and loved without any commentary." (2)

John 10:17-18 needs to be considered as we reflect on John Chapter 3. "The Father loves me, because I give up my life, so that I might receive it back again. No one takes my life from me. I give it up willingly!" This means Jewish people are in no way responsible for Jesus' death, and you can tell that to people who dislike Jewish people because of Jesus' death.

To some people, John 3:16 is problematic because it sounds so bad - that Parent God would send the Son to die for humanity. Looking at this from a Trinitarian perspective might help. John O'Donnell sees the "death of Jesus as a Trinitarian event." (3) O'Donnell believes Jesus' death was "an event between God and God." (4) Both God, the Parent, and God, the Son suffer.(5) I think the idea of God and the Son suffering catches some people's attention. The cross "shatters our ideas about God." (6) We confront the theological problem that God suffers. "God literally takes suffering into" God's "own life." (7) Renowned Swiss Catholic theologian Hans Urs Von Balthasar notes that the division between God the Parent and God the Son at the cross "rends the heart of God." (8) The general sense from theologians who view salvation from a Trinitarian perspective is that God takes upon God the weight of human sin and mistakes. I think a takeaway from these Catholic theologians is this: "The Being of God cannot be separated from God's acts." (9) God's impressive acts of love are an integral part of God.

While I grew up with a sense that Jesus loved people, I was less certain if God loved people. This passage helps establish a very different sense of God. According to the passage, redemption and the saving of humanity started with God. "It was God who sent" the Son, because God loves humanity.(10) I believe that John 3:16 is a universalist text because it shows the breadth of God's love. According to the text, God's love is not limited to a nation, to good people, and to people who love God. God's love is so extensive that it includes the entire world.(11) God's love embraces people we like. People we either dislike or fear are surrounded by God's love, just as surrounded by love as we are. People from every class, occupation, ability, ethnicity, race, sexuality, and gender are included in God's love. John 3:16 includes people who do not think that they deserve to be treated with love and kindness.

John 3:16 might be the perfect passage for PIE Day. Whosoever is an inclusive term, so inclusive that one of the largest and most popular pioneering LGBT+ Christian website is named Whosoever. The website used to receive over 500 thousand visitors a year.(12) The commission Jesus gave the disciples in the Gospel of Matthew is to take the Gospel to the entire world.

In the Numbers narrative, people are bitten by poisonous snakes, and they become very sick. The people admit that they made a mistake, and they cry to Moses for help so Moses prays. God tells Moses to make a bronze snake and to put it on a pole. Anyone who is sick from a snake bite can look at the snake, and they are healed.

Sadly, in contemporary Canada, many people are bitten by the poisonous snake of internalized societal self-hate. Because of the hate, the violence, and discrimination they experience, they believe that they are deeply flawed, that something dreadful is wrong with them. And they come to believe that they do not deserve what other people have.

The Hebrew Scriptures reading contains a narrative that perplexes some Jewish people. God forbids graven images, and God turns around and commands Moses to make an image of a snake. All of the people are to look at the snake and they are healed.(13) There are times when the only way we can find healing and the ability to move on is to face our problems. PIE Day is a day when Affirming Ministries tell their stories about their Public, Intentional, and Explicit work for members of sexual and gender minority people. By telling our stories, we face the problems of homophobia and transphobia. As we face the problems, we are able to work to help reduce homophobia and transphobia so that queer and trans people feel more accepted and welcome in society and in our churches. When we name the groups of people churches and society marginalizes, we can address the problems and find healing.

Troy Perry founded the largely LGBT+ denomination, the Metropolitan Community Churches. Anita Bryant had a job promoting Florida orange juice. In 1977, Anita Bryant successfully campaigned for the repeal of legislation prohibiting discrimination against gay people. As a result of her public campaigns against gay rights, gay bars across North America replaced screwdrivers with an "Anita Bryant Cocktail" made from vodka and apple juice.(14)

Troy Perry was on a late-night plane flight. When they brought him breakfast, he noticed there was orange juice. Troy Perry asked what kind of orange juice it was. He asked if it was Florida orange juice. The Stewardess replied, "Well, it's Minute Maid." Troy said that he could not drink the orange juice because it contained Florida orange juice. He said, "I'm a homosexual," and "we are boycotting Florida orange juice because of what Anita Bryant is doing to us." He says people started eating about "90 miles an hour." (15) A few minutes later, a smiling male flight attendant approached Troy and said, "Reverend Perry would you come with us. We're going to move you up to first class." (16) Troy flew first class because he faced the problem.

How can we live out PIE Day? On PIE Day, we are reminded of our need to extend a Public, Intentional, and Explicit welcome to members of all gender and minority groups and to members of all other groups who historically face discrimination and exclusion. On PIE Day, I hear Troy Perry challenging our church to go first class.

Notes:

(1) William Barclay. The Daily Study Bible: The Gospel of John. Vol. 1. (Philadelphia: Westminster Press, 1956), ix.

(2) Barclay (1956), ix.

(3) John O'Donnell. The Mystery of the Triune God. (London: Sheed and Ward, 1988), 60.

(4) O'Donnell (1988), 62.

(5) O'Donnell (1988), 63.

(6) O'Donnell (1988), 63.-

(7) O'Donnell (1988), 63-64.

(8) O'Donnell (1988), 65.

(9) Dick Eugenio. Communion with God: the Trinitarian Soteriology of Thomas. F. Torrance. Ph.D. Thesis. (Manchester: Nazarene Theological College, 2001), 10.

(10) Barclay (1956), 128.

(11) Barclay (1956), 129.

(12) Candace Chellew-Hodge. “Rev. Candace Chellew-Hodge Profile.” LGBT Religious Archives. July, 2005, 21 February 2021. <https://lgbtqreligiousarchives.org/profiles/candace-chellew-hodge>.

(13) Barclay (1956), 124.

(14) "Anita Bryant." Wikipedia. 24 February 2021, 03 March 2021. <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anita_Bryant>.

(15)"Call Me Troy." Movie on Frameline YouTube. 2007, 03 March 2012. <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RD0h7BNIJI>.

(16) "Call Me Troy." <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RD0h7BNIJI>.

[doof-doofblog]

"Our Family's Alright - That's All That Matters!"

Friday 21st May 2021

Hello again everyone! Hope you're all doing well! Today I'll be reviewing Friday's episode, before I do however I know I missed Thursday's episode so I'm going to give you a quick debrief on what happened during that episode. Needless to say that everyone was more than excited when they learnt that Sonia's Dad, Terry, had arrived on the Square! It seemed that he had made quite an impression on Tiffany specifically, she seemed more excited than anyone. But I do have to mention the iconic quote she said to Dotty, after over a decade since she last quoted it, Tiffany told Dotty where to go ... "You're NFI - Not Flippin' Invited!" ... absolutely iconic!! However, after Terry making a good impression with Sonia's family, Sonia couldn't help the feeling that it was too little too late for her Dad to be walking back into her life. As politely as she could, she informed Terry that a simple drink isn't going to make up for long lost years without her Dad. Understanding her completely, Terry left informing her that Jack has his number if she ever wanted to call him and reach out to him to possibly rekindle their relationship. Sonia watched as Terry turned away and walked off into the night.

Meanwhile, Martin makes a fool of himself and lashes out Zack after believing Lily's lies about Ruby cheating on him with Zack. After punching Zack in front of Sharon and Ruby in the club, Ruby puts him straight that his daughter is lying to him and how it hurts that he believed his child without even talking to Ruby first. Is Martin now in the dog house? What is he going to do make it up to Ruby? But also, how are they going to deal with Lily and her lies?!

Elsewhere Mick was preparing himself for court, Frankie still feeling the pressure of her Mum asking her to give a character reference for her. Although I can understand how Frankie must be feeling like piggy in the middle at the moment, she wants to be there for Mick, but I don't know, even though she loves her Mum, she can't stand by her after what she's learnt.

--

Anyway focusing on Friday's episode, I'm going to begin with Sonia and Dotty. I guess it's fair to say Dotty and Sonia have always had a rocky relationship, they've never really seen eye-to-eye. Does Dotty really get a thrill out of slagging off Sonia? I feel there is more to it really and in this particular episode, I think Dotty gives Sonia some food for thought.

After having a bit of a row at home, Dotty leaves and heads to the club, but Sonia follows to check if she's alright, it here that Dotty admits to her that she'd give anything to have one last chat with her Dad, how can she stand there and watch willingly as Sonia just let's her Dad walk out of her life. At the beginning of the episode, Sonia claims that she's surprised that Tiffany believed everything that Terry had said about his life, in Sonia's eyes - why should she believe this man who, even if he is her Dad biologically, he is a bit of a stranger to her. She knows nothing about him and he knows very little about her, as far as she was concerned, it's too little too late to make up for lost time.

But I think after Dotty admitting that she's give anything to be with her Dad again, Sonia takes these words on board. I think she probably will reach out to her Dad and slowly begin to build a relationship with him. What do you guys think? I'm not 100% sure whether Terry is going to be a permanent role in the soap, but it'll be interesting to see what he brings to the Square, what friendships he'll make and whether we'll find out anything about is past?

--

Elsewhere, Sharon has informed her brother that regardless of him not actually sleeping with Ruby, he's not as innocent as he makes out, as he has been continuously flirting with the married woman, purposefully winding Martin up and instructs him to apologise and take him for a pint. But, Ruby seems less than impressed with her husband's actions as we see he has been sleeping on the sofa. As he wakes, Ruby walks in informing him that she's been up since the early hours of the morning looking after his children, almost kind of giving them guilty treatment. She mentions how she was looking forward to him coming home from Dubai, how much she had done for his children whilst he was away and he throws it back in her face by listening to Lily's lies. It's fair to say that Ruby is deeply hurt and informs Martin that he has to confront his daughter and stop her from saying all these horrible lies, otherwise Lily or Ruby herself will be moving out.

Realising the seriousness of his mistake, he gives his word to Ruby and eventually gets his chance to speak to Lily. I believe that Lily is still holding a grudge against Ruby for putting her Mum in prison for something she didn't do, so feels she needs to get her own back in some way. Is she really trying to split her Dad and Ruby up to maybe teach Ruby a lesson? However, even though she's a kid and she's missing her Mum, what she is doing is really out of order, making up lies about Ruby just to get back at her.

Martin confronts his daughter and informs her that she needs to stop the lies and give Ruby a break. But it's not just the lies she's been saying, even cutting up her deceased Mum's wedding dress. Even though Lily claims she didn't know it was Ruby's Mum's, she still shouldn't have done it. This is an interesting one though, who's side are you on? Ruby's or Lily's? As Martin instructs his daughter to be more respectful to his wife, Lily leaves the house without saying a single word, although it's clear she's not very happy about it. Later we see her sat at the allotments calling her Nan, asking whether she can move back in with her.

Of course Jean isn't going to see her Granddaughter out on the streets, but I feel that maybe Jean will start to ask questions about why Lily is wanting to return to live with her. Actually speaking of Jean, I happened to notice that maybe two or three times in this episode, she complained of stomach pains - although she used the excuse of having prunes for breakfast and it has made her slightly windy. But something is telling me it could be more than that. Could it be the cancer? I have to be honest, I am still stunned to realise that no one in her family knows about her cancer and only Ruby is aware about how terminal she is. If Jean takes a turn for the worse, surely Ruby is going to have to inform them about what she knows? I swear though if EastEnders come to the decision of killing Jean off, I will be deeply upset!!! (Let's hope it won't come to that!)

--

Now of course the main focus of the episode was Mick and his family. Today was the day that they had been dreading, but yet they had all been waiting for. It was the day that Mick would finally face Katy in court. Even though he is twitching his leg with nerves, he's looking as ready as he'll ever be as the cars pull up outside the Vic, ready to take him and the family to court.

As everyone gathers in court, Frankie is trying to tell both Mick and the rest of the family something, whatever it is it seems really important, but she's never given the opportunity to say what she needs to say. As The Carter family make their way into the court, you can't help but feel for Mick as he comes face-to-face with Katy, the person who abused him as a child, one last time. Frankie is sat beside her Dad as she tries one last try to attempt to tell him something really important, but unfortunately the moment is taken from her a second time.

As statements are read out in the court, it becomes clear what Frankie was so desperately trying to tell her Dad and his family. It turns out that Frankie did give her a Mum a character reference, regardless of what she did in her past, Frankie cannot deny that she was a good Mum to her. Katy looks over to her daughter with a smile as the Carter family look over to Frankie in shock. Frankie almost looks as if she feels she's betrayed her Dad's side of the family, but Mick does the most honest and decent a thing a Dad could. He takes a firm hold of Frankie's hand, informing her that he completely understands her giving her statement, at the end of the day, Katy is her Mum and she gave her a happy childhood, regardless of her crimes.

As the court goes into recess, The Carter's confront Frankie about her decision, informing her that she could've jeopardised the length of sentence that Katy could receive for her crimes. Shirley more so than anyone is voicing her disappointment in Frankie, but Frankie defends herself. Do they really have wanted her to be a victim of Katy's also? Frankie cannot deny that her Mum gave her a good childhood, and Mick interrupts the discussion claiming that Frankie did the right thing and he completely understands and supports his decision.

During this whole interaction, Nancy makes herself scarce and gets some fresh air. But as the court is called in to hear the final statement and the verdict, Mick goes to search for Nancy as the rest of the family enter the courtroom. As he makes his way outside, he's faced with the terrifying scene of Nancy having a vicious epileptic fit in the middle of the road. Mick acts fast and stays with his daughter, putting his jacket under her head so she doesn't get any lasting brain damage from bashing her head against the gravel. Devastatingly, the rest of the Carter family have no idea what's happening as they're waiting for Mick to return to give his victim statement.

But Mick knows he cannot leave his vulnerable daughter in this state and desperately calls an ambulance. Linda then informs the judge to read out Mick's statement on his behalf. Now I have to say how this moment played out was really powerful, the words used in Mick's statement were so moving that it brought both Linda and Shirley to tears. But hearing these words about how much he was made to feel embarrassed and how it affected his anxiety and relationships with his family, he claims that without Linda and the strength of his family he wouldn't have been able to carry on. While hearing these words, Mick stays with his Nancy until she slowly comes round from her seizure.

Eventually Nancy is helped by paramedics and she slowly comes round from her horrific seizure. Together they walk back into the courtroom, just in time to hear the sentence Katy is given. A total of 10 years in prison! Now I have to be honest, how this episode ended was absolutely perfect, touching and powerful. As the Carter's leave the court and step out into the fresh air, Mick grabs each daughter, Frankie and Nancy, from both sides and hold them ever so tightly. The air is blue and bright, the birds are singing and Mick takes huge breath in. I absolutely LOVE that Julia's Theme was used for this ending, after a horrendous couple of months that Mick has had to endure, it's all over. Katy has been put away for her crimes of child sexual abuse and Mick can now sleep easy knowing justice has been done.

Together as a family, Mick, Linda, Shirley, Nancy and Frankie leave the court together. A untied front showing full well that nothing could ever bring The Carter Family down! With Katy now behind bars, the can carry on with their lives as a family. An absolutely beautiful and moving ending to a deeply devastating storyline! I can't applaud everyone enough for their performance in this storyline - Danny Dyer, Kellie Bright, Rose Ayling-Ellis, Linda Henry and Simone Lahbib! They've all been absolutely incredible!

What did you guys think of the episode? Was it a satisfying ending for you or do you think Katy should've got a longer sentence? Did you enjoy the use of Julia's Theme? I'm really excited to see what happens with the Carter family now, I'm hoping and praying that Frankie will now become a firm member of the Carter family. Thank you all for reading! Please feel free to leave me any comments or messages regarding any of the current storylines happening in EastEnders right now. I'd love to hear your thoughts! Love you all xXx

[sailorshadzter]

at your side i’ll always be.

A knock comes later. Much later.

She's dressed for bed, a white nightgown, her fur robe thrown over her shoulders, hair a single plait down her back. When the knock sounds, she looks up from where she sits in the window seat, head pressed against the frosted plane of glass. Outside, snow drifts down, covering the ashes of battle, as if to say it had never even happened. But they would not forget. No one could ever forget.

"Come in," she calls out, softly, turning back to look out the window, thinking it only to be Brienne come to check in on her, for her lady knight had yet to return from the celebration feast. She hopes, with the flicker of a smile, that Brienne might not come at all, perhaps finding herself a little bit of happiness she deserved. But those footsteps do not belong to Brienne and when Sansa looks up, she already knows it's him standing there. "Jon..."

He's drunk and he knows it.

Perhaps it was wrong of him to come to her rooms like this, but when Daenerys had fled from his rooms... Seeing Sansa was the only thing that could calm the racing of his heart. Hearing her voice was the only thing that could return the peace to his mind. "I'm sorry," he begins, chuckling in spite of himself, hand up to awkwardly run through his unruly curls. "For coming here like this." She's soft and still in the window, surrounded by the moonlight, a vision in white and fur, looking up at him with those blue eyes of hers. Eyes he can lose himself in, eyes he could drown in, willingly drown in. "I had to see you." Alcohol has given him courage and he thinks back to her down at the feast, smiling in the golden firelight. I believe in you, she had said to him then, words that filled him with warmth. "I wanted to make sure you were alright... You left the feast so suddenly..."

"I'm fine," she says, shoulders lifting in a shrug. That's not true, she thinks, wondering just when it became so easy to lie. "I was tired." If Jon wonders why she's still awake then, so many hours later, he doesn't ask. Instead, he approaches her where she sits, dressed in just his breeches and white shirt, stumbling ever so slightly. He's drunk, she realizes, unable to help but to smile as he sinks into the small space available on the window seat, pushing a pillow to the floor to give himself a bit more room. "I am surprised you're not asleep yourself," she chuckles, though she sobers when something dark crosses his face. "Jon...?"

He's staring, transfixed by the sight of her; the softness of her smile, the way moonlight entwines in her vibrant red tresses. If he could, he would stay right there, in this moment, forevermore. "I couldn't sleep," he answers, not really a life, but also not really the truth. He sees her hands, tucked over her knees, and it's all he can do to keep himself for reaching for her.

"Me either," she admits after a beat of silence, a wane smile appearing upon her lips. When she sleeps, she dreams, and dreaming is one of the last things she wants to do. Even now she finds herself tormented by the wails of the dying, the sick sound of flesh tearing from bone enough to turn her stomach.

"I sent you down there... To be kept safe." He murmurs, taking her hand into his, emotion filling him up, threatening to spill over. "I'm sorry, Sansa." She grips his hand back, tears welling in her eyes, making them shine like gems. Before he can say another word, it's her that's reaching out, drawing him into her. She holds him close, her embrace warm and gentle, her chin tucked into place against the top of his head. When the tears come, she says nothing but sweet whispers of comfort, though her own tears drip down her face. He doesn't know how long they sit there together, a tangle of limbs, his head pressing into her chest, her heartbeat a tattoo against his cheek. But finally, he finds the courage to raise himself from her, peering into her face that wears a look he's never seen before. A look of love, of such tenderness that he can barely breathe. "I thought you to be angry with me."

"I was," she admits, head tilting, a stray strand of red hair falling across her forehead. "But we have to trust each other, don't we? We have so many enemies..." He recognizes the words she speaks, words he himself had spoken to her only some months ago. A smile finds its way onto his lips and he nods. "I trust you, Jon, I trust you to do what's right for our family."

That's when he remembers.

The words he's wanted to tell her, the truth he should have given to her before the fight. But words he didn't know quite how to say. "Sansa, I... There's something I must tell you." The words he should have told her the night before stepping into battle, words he swore he would tell her if he came back. And he did come back, against all odds, he came back. "I'm not a Stark, Sansa." She opens her mouth, her usual protest, but he shakes his head. "My father... My father was Rhaegar Targaryen."

It's a whirlwind of emotions that rush though her- shock mixes with what she can only call relief, yet, there is pity, too... Pity for the man who all his life has longed to be a true born son of Ned Stark, but only to find he is not even the bastard of the man. "Jon..."

"My mother was your aunt Lyanna," he breaks in before she can say anything more, his gaze straying from her as he shifts away, as if he cannot stand to face her in this moment. "That is why your father took me in." It was true, it was said that there was nothing the Stark brothers would not have done for their beloved sister, Lyanna, who was said to have been kidnapped and raped by the Targaryen prince. "They were in love." His words are like a whisper and yet they snap her from her thoughts like a shout. "They were married."

She leans forward, hand to his arm, guiding him back to face her. "Jon, if that's true..." She can't believe the words that he's speaking to her. "Then it's you, not Daenerys that's the heir to the Iron Throne." He gives a single nod and Sansa swallows, reaching for him again, though this time his arms wind around her and he's the one drawing her in. "It doesn't change anything, you know," she's whispering a few moments later, her voice somewhat muffled from how her mouth is pressed against the crook of his shoulder. One of his hands is trailing her spine, though he finds he longs to undo her braid and run his fingers through her fiery locks. "You're still Jon... And you're still a Stark." She's smiling when she draws back, a hand reaching out to tenderly touch the bruise on his temple, head tilting as she gazes into his eyes. He's leaning in then, closer than they've perhaps ever been, her heart skipping a beat as his other hand falls into place against her cheek.

"There's something else..." He whispers, closer still, her lips a soft brush against his as he speaks on. "I love you." Those three words, settled upon his heart all this time, words that have both disgusted and delighted him. Love for a sister, half or not, was detestable. It was wrong, it was unfathomable... And yet... It had filled him with warmth, with peace. Being with Sansa... It gave his life a sense of direction, new meaning for a life that had once felt pointless. Once, he had been lost, but Sansa had found him that day in Castle Black and it was as if there was light again in his dark world of rebirth. But she's staring back at him, wide eyed in the moonlight, looking as if she doesn't dare believe what he's said. As if it's too good to be true.

And so he leans in, kissing her as he should have done weeks ago, months ago.

When Jon kisses her, the world stops spinning; but when it begins again, she finds herself kissing him back, warmth igniting in her belly that spreads through her every limb. In her chest, her heart beats wildly, a flutter of excitement racing her spine as Jon's hand slides into her hair. It's a moment she's wished for, a moment she's longed for, despite the distance between them. She knows what people would say if they knew the depth of her feelings for Jon... But he had saved her... in more ways than one. It was Jon that gave her the will to fight on, it was Jon that gave her something to believe in. He was the light guiding her through the darkness of her nights, a comforting hand to steady her whenever she was about to fall.

She breaks the kiss only so she may tip her forehead against his, a smile tugging at her lips.

"I love you, too."

[ x x x ]

Later still, when dawn threatens to creep over the horizon, Jon rolls over so he may face her where she lays in bed, smiling faintly when she opens her eyes. "It cannot be morning so soon," she groans, shifting as she lay there beneath the furs, content to stay there at least another hour or two.

"But it is," Jon chuckles, leaning over her so he might press a kiss to her temple, still marveling at his place in her bed beside her. "I should go..." He says quietly, though he too is loathe to leave her bed, especially when beneath the furs she slides a hand across his abdomen, the warm touch of her skin stirring him as it had done dozens of times the night before. "Or... Maybe I'll stay."

It isn't until the sun is high in the morning sky that Jon finally finds the will to untangle himself from her, knowing they would soon be discovered if they did not part ways. Besides, there was a war meeting to attend and so he climbs from the warmth of her arms and bed to find his breeches. "You will tell the others, won't you?" She asks as he tugs his breeches back on, bending down to retrieve his shirt and her nightgown from the floor. "They deserve to know, too, Jon... Especially..." She doesn't finish, but he knows what she means. He watches as she slides from beneath the covers on the bed, red hair falling down her back, pulled loose hours ago from that braid she'd tied it into. The moment she's pulled her nightgown back on, he's there, slipping his arms around her, drawing her in, breathing her in.

"Aye, I'll tell them," he murmurs against her hair, knowing it was only Arya that needed to know, for Bran was the one to learn of the truth, only after speaking with Sam. "Later today, after the war meeting." He draws back and she nods, feeling cold without him when he steps back, heading for the door. "I'll see you down there," he says with a grin and then he's gone.

[ x x x ]

She dreams of a dragon's screech, of the heat of fire, the stench of death.

It leaves her filled with fear like she's never known before. "Don't go," she whispers to him that night, when he's to leave the next day. "I'm afraid for you." Jon only smiles, touching her cheek before he leans in, kissing her as he's done as often as possible in the three days since the night of the feast. "Jon, please."

"I have to go," he finally says, brushing back a stray lock of her hair, though he wishes it were not so. If he could, he would never again part from her side. "You know what I have to do." He reaches for her  hand and draws it to his mouth, tenderly kissing her palm. "I'll come back to you, Sansa, I promise." He raises his gaze back to hers and despite the tears that gather in her eyes, she's smiling.

She believed in him and so she would have to let him go.

[ x x x ]

When she steps onto the platform in the dragonpit, her gaze is sharper than any sword, falling upon any man there who dared speak against Jon. There was no mistaking it, the Lady of Winterfell would go to war with any one of the seven kingdoms, just to ensure the safety of Jon Snow. And truth be told, there was not many there who thought it smart to start a war with the she wolf of Winterfell.

In the end, she gets as she wishes, and Jon is brought to where she stands alone in the broken throne room of the Red Keep.

"Sansa...?"

She turns at the sound of his voice, tears filling her eyes as she lays eyes upon him for the first time in several weeks. "Jon!" She races forward, throwing her arms around him; his arms come around her and he sweeps her off her feet, relishing in the warm weight of her body. "Are you alright? Have they hurt you?" She's drawing back, her gentle hands combing him for injury, pausing as she finds the wounds from the shackles he had worn at his wrists.

"I'm alright," he says, his voice bringing her attention back to his face. "I... I don't understand. How are you here?" He is a man she does not know- in tattered clothes, with a darkness to him she's never seen before. This is a man that has seen new horrors that Sansa cannot begin to imagine. Arya had worn a similar look when she found her in King's Landing only the morning before; the look frightened her.

"I came to rescue you, of course." She says after a moment, offering him a smile; it isn't until he  sees it that he realizes just how much he's missed seeing it. For a moment he must pull her close again, holding onto her as if he believes she might vanish at any moment. For all these long weeks, the mere thought of her has kept him going, despite his belief he would never have saw her again. In truth, he was able to live with that, just knowing she was safe from harm. There was no one left in the world who would dare mess with Sansa Stark or Winterfell again. And so... He would have gone to the wall or to his death, if that was what fate had in store for him, because she was safe and in the end, that was what mattered most to him. But it seemed fate had another future in mind for him, though he supposes Sansa had a strange ability to twist her future into something better, into an outcome that was better than the current.

When he draws back, her cheeks are full of warmth and color, giving her a radiant sort of look he's never seen before. "But..." He shakes his head, disbelief still yet clinging to him. "You came all this way... You came to King's Landing?" She once swore she would never step foot in this place again, not for anything, but there she was. For him. She had come for him. "Were you going to start a war, sweetheart?" He's softening, he's becoming again who she knows so well.

"If I had to," she admits, shoulders lifting in a slight shrug, as if he speaks of the weather. "I've come to take you home and I won't leave without you." Her rosy lips curve with a smile as she runs a hand through his unruly curls, grown long in his weeks of captivity. Jon can imagine her- blue gaze fierce, lips spitting venom like a viper, a woman no man would dare fight against- arguing for him, fighting to bring him back to the North with her.

"Home?" He asks, as if he dares not believe what she says. But the way she's smiling, the way her hand reaches for his... He does believe her. He catches her hand in his, drawing it to his mouth for a kiss, an echo of their last moment together some weeks ago. "But what of the Iron Throne?" He asks then, gesturing towards the melted puddle of iron on the floor across the room from where they stand.

"Gone. Dissolved. Westeros is as it once was, independent nations, ruled by their own chosen leader." Sansa glances over her shoulder to where the Iron Throne once stood- she had so many memories within this crumbling room, but none that she cared to remember at all. Except for perhaps this one. She turns back to him, threading her fingers with his, uncaring of who might stumble upon them now. The truth of Jon's birth had been explained in the dragon pit meeting and soon, it would spread across all of Westeros that there was but one Targaryen left in the world. "King's Landing will be rebuilt, beginning with the demolished town so the smallfolk have a place to stay again. Bran is to remain here and rule, he was chosen by the other lords." Jon's gaze shifts from her face back to where the throne once stood, the memory of his last moment's in this room filtering through his mind. "They said the dragon took her away..." Sansa's voice draws him back and he turns to face her once again, nodding. "Back to Essos..." she wonders aloud, the same location where perhaps everyone assumed the dragon to be taking his mother's body. "Come... There's rooms that have been prepared." There wasn't much that wasn't destroyed in Daenerys' attack on King's Landing, but there was enough rooms left in tact for a small court to remain. "Let's get you cleaned up."

Jon lets her take him by the hand and lead him from the room.

[ x x x ]

She finds him on the deck of the ship, watching as King's Landing grows small in the distance.

It has been a fortnight since their reunion, since the day of the dragonpit meeting, and finally they were to return home. Leaving Bran behind had been painful, but as Jon slips his arm around her waist, she knows that she's never going to be alone again. And soon enough, Arya will return from her travels eastward and they will all be together again.

"I thought you were feeling seasick," he says as she leans into him, her gaze following where his once went, the highest remaining peak of King's Landing disappearing into the distance. "You can stay in the cabin, if you must." He was worried to find her huddled over a bucket in the cabin just moments after taking off from the dock, her lady knight gently rubbing circles against her back. She had sworn it to be from the ship rocking and waved him away, saying she would try to lay in the bed and find some comfort.

Chuckling, she looks back to him, taking in the sight of him; he looks healthy, with his face trimmed and his unruly curls secured in his signature bun. His smile is brighter than she's seen it in months, no longer like a ghost, he's a man that's been born again. Come to think of it, she too once felt like a ghost of her former self, never to find that girl she once was. Perhaps she might never find the Sansa who left Winterfell all those years ago, but the Sansa she's become isn't truly so bad. Besides.... There is happiness still yet to come.

"I think I've found my sea legs," she says, her words bringing a laugh from his lips as his hands place themselves against her hips, pulling her close. In the two weeks they spent in King's Landing, their relationship became quite evident to those around them and there would be no surprise when in a few weeks, they would certainly be married and crowned King and Queen in the North. And so here, on a ship filled with loyal Northern men, they are not worried about who might see them there.

His kiss comes a moment later, a long, slow kiss that weakens her knees, a kiss that steals the very breath from her lungs. When he pulls back a few moments later, he's just as breathless, but grinning as he tips his forehead against hers. "I might like to keep you in the cabin anyways," he teases and though her cheeks flood with color, she's smiling mischievously, telling him she's not that opposed to the idea. He kisses her again, this one full of fire, and his grip tightens at her waist, closing the gap between them. His lips are on the move and she can feel the gentle tip of his teeth on the soft flesh of her earlobe, his breath warm against her neck.

She's the one to break from this tender touch, drawing back with her hands on his shoulders, staring into his Stark colored eyes, a strange sort of smile on her lips. "There's something I must tell you," she says and Jon blinks, clearly surprised by her sudden admission. But he nods all the same, the only bit of encouragement she needs to speak on. "That night... After the feast..." Drunk as he might have been, he remembers, for how could he ever forget? Her smile does not fade as she reaches for his hand and draws it down, pressing his palm against the flat plane of her abdomen. "I'm with child, Jon."

At first, Jon isn't quite certain that he's heard her correctly. "With... Child?" He asks as she slides her hand into place over his, her face bright with her smile, nodding in response to his question. The realization of what her words mean suddenly sink in and Jon can't help but to sweep her off her feet in an embrace, his laughter carrying along the wind as he swings her back to the ground. Now he's understanding- things he had noticed, such as an unusual aversion to quail in King's Landing or the drowsiness she had explained away by the tireless hours she worked to help Bran make sense of the kingdom he'd been left with- all signs he had overlooked, not even thinking for a moment that such a thing were possible.

"It's early days yet, but the maester in King's Landing swears it will be a healthy babe." Sansa smiles, thinking back to that day only a week before when she had learned herself the truth of what had been ailing her day after day. "You're happy..?" She can't help but to ask, sobering slightly, knowing that this was perhaps not the way either of them had thought they would begin their new life together. Despite the peace of Westeros, there was still so much uncertainty ahead.

But she can't help but to smile again when Jon pulls her into a gentle embrace, holding her close, the sweet scent of her hair filling him with warmth. "I'm happier than I ever thought I could be," Jon admits when he's peering into her eyes once more, a hand falling into place against the curve of her cheek. "Happier than I might even deserve to be."

This time when he kisses her, it's tender, it's soft, it's a silent thank you. It's everything he's wanted to say to her, but could never find the words to use.

She must understand though, for when they break apart she's smiling. Her hand find his and Jon knows, there was no other place he wanted to stand more than at her side.

And that would be where he was, for the rest of his life.

[swanqueeneverafter]

The Once & Future Queen Pt.34

The Dochraid's Sacred Cave. (The Dochraid pulls herself to her feet, chanting.) Dochraid: "Gehaele thisne lichaman. Gestrangeme nu mihtig hie to forwarniene; yfel is on ofost. (While the Dochraid chants, she attaches a message to a crow’s leg:) Fleoge thu swa swa se windraesgrimsath.” (When she finishes her chant, the crow flies out of the cave.) The Cauldron of Arianrhod. (A small group has gathered for what promises to be the site of Morgana’s cleansing.) Emma: “Can the Dochraid be trusted? Is there really a remedy?” Regina: “If Morgana has suffered what I suspect then no, I don’t think so.” Emma: “You know what happened to her?” Regina: “Just because Rumplestiltskin refused to venture into the realm of the High Priestesses, doesn’t mean I never looked into them. After some research and books borrowed from Maleficent, I read about an ancient ritual of the Old Religion called the Teine Diaga.” Emma: “Teine Diaga?” Regina: “The sacred fire. The ritual used the mandrake root to bring unimaginable terror to the victim. Their screams could be heard twenty leagues away. When it was finally over, their will was no longer their own. They were slaves of the High Priestesses for eternity.” Emma: “Do you think Morgause performed this ritual on Morgana?” Regina: “It’s possible. Such mysteries were revealed only to a handful of female initiates." Emma: “Well, either way, the Dochraid told Guinevere that Morgana needs to be conscious when she enters the Cauldron. She must do so of her own free will or the spell will not be broken.” Regina: “Hm, that part, I fear, may not be within even our powers.” Emma: “Then the rest is futile.” Regina: “But there is someone for whom it is possible.” Emma: “Who? (Regina merely stares at her:) Guinevere?” Regina: (Nods:) “Only she can reach the part of Morgana that remains true.” Emma: “It won’t work. Morgana turned Guinevere into a deer for crying out loud!” Regina: “And I put a sleeping curse on Snow White and now I’m married to her daughter. Surely after everything we’ve been through you don’t underestimate the power of love, Emma? Guinevere is the only one who knew Morgana from before. She’s the key.” Emma: “Well, we’re about to find out.” (They turn to see Morgana, surrounded by knights, being led towards the Cauldron.)

(The sound of footsteps cause Emma and Regina to turn stare at an ancient looking woman as she steps out from behind some large rocks.) Dolma: “Who are you? What business have you in this sacred place?” Guinevere: “Are you the Dolma, ancient sorceress of the Cauldron of Arianrhod?” (The Dolma extends her hands and inclines her head.) Dolma: “Who else would I be?” Guinevere: (To Lancelot:) “Does she look familiar to you?” Lancelot: “There is something…” Dolma: “What say you? Why do you mutter?” Lancelot: “You look familiar, sorceress.” Dolma: (Raises a hand to touch her hair:) “Oh. Is that so?” Lancelot: “It is.” Dolma: “Perhaps our paths have crossed before, Tall, dark stranger. (She bats her eyes at him:) My memory is not what it once was, but I swear I would have remembered you.” (Lancelot looks to the Dolma with suspicion, preparing to unsheath his sword as she moves closer to him. Guinevere stifles her giggles at the look on Lancelot’s face and steps between them.) Guinevere: “Apologies, Dolma, but I’m afraid Lancelot is spoken for.” Dolma: “Shame. I am an old woman, it’s true, but I would have given you the thrill of your young life, Sir Lancelot.” (The knights begin to snigger while Lancelot looks bemused.) Guinevere: “You know why we’re here.” Dolma: “Nothing is hidden from… the Dolma. Come, we shall stand by the pool. (The party follows the Dolma towards the edge of the body of water. Approaching Morgana, the Dolma places her hands on Morgana’s face, looking into her eyes:) The magic which has ensnared you is strong indeed. It can be fought. It can be broken, but it may also prevail. Do you understand this?” (Morgana says nothing, her attention caught by the arrival of Xena and Gabrielle.) Guinevere: “I do.” Dolma: “What we attempt will not be easy. If we fail, Morgana will be lost forever.” Guinevere: “I understand.”

Dolma: “Very well. In order for this to work, Morgana must walk into the Cauldron of Arianrhod of her own will. Only then will the spell be broken. But be warned, all the magic that binds her will fight against it. You must reach her, Guinevere. Reach that part which has remained untouched by evil.” Lancelot: “Is there such a part?” Dolma: (To Guinevere:) “You must believe there is. Prepare yourself.” (Guinevere nods, then motions to Regina to remove the cuff from Morgana’s wrist. At the very moment she can feel her powers return, Morgana smiles.) Morgana: “Fools.” (Raising her arms, Morgana emits a pulse of magic that sends Emma, Regina and the knights flying. The Dolma runs behind Lancelot clutching onto him for dear life. Turning her attention to Xena and Gabrielle, Morgana uses her powers to blast some rocks in their path and cause a rock slide to crash towards them. Ducking between some large boulders, Xena and Gabrielle find shelter from the deluge.) Gabrielle: “I think we may have arrived a little early.” Xena: “Nah, we’re right on time.” (Brandishing her chakram, Xena steps out from their hiding spot and spins through the air to land mere feet from the vengeful sorceress. Raising her hand once more, Morgana is about to strike when Guinevere stands before her.) Morgana: “Move out of my way, Guinevere.” Guinevere: “Never. You wear the uniform of a callous sorceress well but we both know what lies beneath.” Morgana: “Your naïveté would be charming if it wasn’t so dangerous. You brought me here to strip me of my powers, to make me weak?” Guinevere: “I seek only to save the woman I knew all those years ago. To finally repay she who fought with everything in her power to see that I was rescued.” Forest. Past. (Morgana and Guinevere run along the forest path but Guinevere's ankle will not support her any longer.) Guinevere: "It’s no use! I’ll get us both captured. You must leave me." Morgana: "I will not!" Guinevere: "Morgana, go! Please! You must get help!" (Morgana sees the men catching up to them and hands Guinevere the sword.) Morgana: “Take this.” Guinevere: “Go!” (Morgana runs. Guinevere hides behind a tree, then jumps out and takes down the man pursuing them. Morgana stops when she hears the man’s scream, then continues running.)

Camelot. Council Chamber. (Morgana enters with Arthur.) Uther: (Rising from the throne:) “It’s such a relief to see you safe. (Cups her face:) I couldn’t bear the thought of anyone harming you.” Morgana: “The bandits still have Guin.” Arthur: “I believe they were Mercian. We’ve received reports that Hengist has crossed the border.” Uther: “Hengist?” Morgana: “You must send a rescue party.” Uther: “If Hengist is holding her, it would take a small army to rescue your maid.” Morgana: “We can’t abandon her!” Uther: “How many men would you have me sacrifice to save a servant?” Morgana: “As many as it takes! Guin gave herself up so that I might escape. I owe her my life.” Uther: “She did so willingly, and she will be honoured for it.” (Uther turns back towards the throne but Morgana pursues him.) Morgana: (Grabbing his arm:) “I don’t want her honoured, I want her rescued! She is more than just my maid. She’s my friend.” Uther: (Takes a breath:) “A servant is of no value to these bandits. (Puts his hands on her shoulders:) I fear she’s dead already.” Morgana: “No! (Shrugs out of his grasp:) We cannot give up hope! (Turns to Arthur, beseechingly:) Arthur? I’m begging you. You have to do something.” Arthur: “Your father’s right, Milady. I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do.” Morgana: “How can you say that?! (Looks around the room:) How can you live with yourselves?! All of you!” Arthur’s Chambers. Night. (Morgana bursts in.) Morgana: “How can you be so heartless?! Guin is the most kind, loyal person that you would ever meet, and she has been more than a friend to all of us! And you would leave her at the mercy of those animals!” Arthur: “Morgana…” Morgana: “Have you no shame? Do you think of no one but yourself?” Arthur: “Morgana…” Morgana: “I knew you were many things, Arthur, but I didn’t know you were a gutless coward!” Arthur: “Morgana! Perhaps if you would stop shouting at me for one second, you would notice that I am packing.” Morgana: (Calms and looks down:) “You’re going after Guin.” Arthur: “Of course I’m going after her. What do you take me for? I couldn’t disagree with the King in public.” (Arthur puts his saddlebags over his shoulder and walks towards the door.) Morgana: (Calling after him:) “Arthur? (He turns:) Bring her home.” Camelot. Staircase. Two Days Later. (Morgana stands on the Griffin landing staring worriedly out the window. Arthur walks up the stairs.) Arthur: “Morgana. There’s someone here to see you.” (Arthur steps aside and Guinevere runs into Morgana’s arms.) Morgana: “Guin! I thought I’d never see you again.” (Arthur gives Guinevere a knowing look as she hugs Morgana. He gives them their space and returns down the steps.) The Cauldron of Arianrhod. Present. (Morgana stands listening to Guinevere while she continues their journey down memory lane.) Guinevere: “Then, when I returned to work after my father’s death, I saw further evidence of the kind of person you truly are, Morgana.” Morgana’s Chambers. Past. (Morgana enters her chambers, where Guinevere sits waiting. She goes to Morgana quickly.) Guinevere: “My Lady!” Morgana: “Guin. I didn’t expect to see you here.” Guinevere: “What happened to you?!” Morgana: “Nothing. Well, nothing a hot bath wouldn’t fix. (Guinevere sees the sores on Morgana’s arms where the manacles bit into her flesh:) I spent the night in the dungeon.” Guinevere: “Uther.” Morgana: “He doesn’t like to be challenged.” Guinevere: “It wasn’t about my father, was it?” Morgana: “You have enough to deal with without worrying about such things.” Guinevere: “You shouldn’t have done that! Not on my behalf. If anything happened to you, I couldn’t bear it.” Morgana: “You need to go home, Guin. Get some rest. Please.” Guinevere: “I’m fine, My Lady.” Morgana: “I insist. (Guinevere walks past Morgana with her head bowed, picking up a hair brush:) Guin? (Guin stops, her back to Morgana, trying not to cry:) Guin?” Guinevere: “I can’t go home!” Morgana: (Placing her hand on her shoulder:) “It’s understandable to feel so alone.” Guinevere: (Walks away:) “Tauren…” Morgana: “Tauren?!” Guinevere: “He attacked me. He threatened me. He was looking for some kind of stone.” Morgana: “Stone?” Guinevere: “He said if I didn’t bring it to him, he’d kill me. He’s waiting for me in the Darkling Woods. I have to do something. If I don’t get this stone to him by dawn tomorrow… (Morgana begins walking off purposefully:) What are you going to do? Morgana?!”

The Cauldron of Arianrhod. Present. (Taking Morgana’s hand, Guinevere begins leading her to the water’s edge.) Guinevere: “Morgana. My Morgana.” Morgana: “Your Morgana? I was never yours and never will be. You chose Arthur and now Lancelot.” Dolma: “You must reach her, Guinevere. Reach out or all is lost.” Morgana: (Glancing at the Dolma:) “Who’s this old crone?” Guinevere: “We loved each other once.” Morgana: (Tersely:) ��You are easily fooled, Guin.” Guinevere: “And still do.” Morgana: “You were my handmaiden, nothing more.” Guinevere: “I don’t believe that.” (Morgana struggles to free herself from Guinevere’s grasp, but the Queen will not release her.) Morgana: “Believe what you like. The fact remains.” (Guinevere begins to pull Morgana towards the pool as she struggles.) Dolma: “No! It must be of her own will!” (Guinevere pulls Morgana close until they are face to face.) Guinevere: “Look at me. Tell me you don’t love me.” Morgana: “Let me go!” Dolma: “Guinevere!” Guinevere: “Do you remember when I asked you why you fought so fiercely to free me or stood up to your father on my behalf all those times? Do you remember what you said? You said that we were more than friends and that you loved me ‘With all of my heart.’ That’s what you said, Morgana. That was no subterfuge. No trickery. (Morgana stops struggling and stares at Guinevere:) With all my heart. (Guinevere walks slowly backwards towards the lake:) With all my heart.” (Morgana’s breath hitches as Guinevere steps into the lake.) Morgana: (Softly:) “With all my heart…” (Guinevere extends a hand to Morgana and she follows her towards the lake.) Guinevere: “Come.” (Morgana places her hand in Guinevere’s and steps into the water.) Dolma: “Yfel gaest, ga thu fram thisselichaman. Bith hire mod eft freo. Ar ond heofonutungol sceal thurhswithan.” (The Dolma’s eyes glow golden and Morgana is surrounded by a brilliant white light. When the light dissipates, she turns to smile at Guinevere, extending her hand to her. Guinevere wades towards her and embraces Morgana. The Dolma smiles, exhaling in relief.)

(Stepping out to join Xena, Gabrielle watches the two women embrace in the water. Looking to Xena, they share a smile, surprised and invigorated by what they’ve just witnessed.) Morgana: (Parting from their hug, looks into Guinevere's eyes, softly:) "Thank you, Guin." (Guinevere gives her a teary smile and takes Morgana's hand, leading her out of the water towards shore.) Regina: (As they step out of the water:) "Here." (Regina waves her hand and both women disappear and reappear in a cloud of smoke, their clothes now completely dry. Morgana looks around at all that have gathered and is about to say something when she is knocked backwards through the air. Morgana is rendered unconscious by the impact of her fall.)

(Everyone turns to see Mordred lower his hand. Guinevere rushes to Morgana’s side and Emma and Regina prepare to use their magic against him when a voice rings out across the valley.) Xena: “Hey!” (Mordred turns his attention to her and is barely able to move out of the path of Xena’s weapon as it barrels towards him. Realising that he is outnumbered, Mordred vanishes while Xena catches her chakram.) A Short Time Later. (By the Cauldron of Arianrhod, Lancelot and Guinevere stand before the Dolma.) Guinevere: “I owe you a great debt. We both do. If there’s ever anything I can do in return…” Lancelot: “Perhaps a new dress?” Guinevere: (Outraged:) “Lancelot!” Lancelot: “Just a thought.” Dolma: (Looks down for a moment before answering:) “There is one thing.” Guinevere: “Name it.” Dolma: “Remember what saved your friend. Magic and sorcery.” Lancelot: “It was also sorcery that bewitched her.” Dolma: “There is no evil in sorcery, only in the hearts of men. My request is that you remember this.” Guinevere: “You have my word.” (The Dolma gives Guinevere a small smile, bowing her head slightly. They begin to walk away when the Dolma calls out.) Dolma: “Oh, and Lancelot? (Lancelot turns back:) Don’t be a stranger.” (She gives him a broad smile and a wave. Lancelot returns the smile uneasily and looks to Guinevere who is doing her very best not to laugh.)