#And had to rely on the English subtitles to keep up with what was happening 😭😭😭

[undyinglantern]

started watching the new adaptation of like water for chocolate immediately after finishing 100 years of solitude and holy crap is the difference in accent like a slap in the face

[a-fence]

An Exploration

Exploring Mexico City and you (M)

“Are you sure we can’t stay another day to explore?” Ian asked.

“I can’t possibly explore Mexico City in half a day!! There’s so many sights to see!” you protested.

“And food to eat,” Ian added.

“And a bajillion museums to explore!”

Scott was flustered with your arguments. He was like a father debating with his children. “Even I would like to stay but we can’t derail the schedule. Our fans have been waiting long enough,” he said exasperatedly.

“We tried,” Ian sighed. He put his arm around your shoulders and kissed the crown of your head softly to console you.

You held the hand that was dangling by your shoulders and leaned on to his chest. “We’ll have to narrow it down to one to two places.”

The two of you always set aside time to explore in each stop of the tour. You tagged along the tour for work and to travel with Ian, which basically killed two birds with one stone. But time was always of the essence and you were always limited to visiting spots that were either near your hotel or the venue.

Ian thought about it as the two of you watched Dabin go through sound check. “We can still go to Coyoacán,” he suggested.

Coyoacán was home to The Frida Kahlo Museum and the National Watercolor Museum which were some of the museums you wanted to visit, and Cineteca Nacional which was on Ian’s list. It was also quite near the venue.

“The museums will be closed by then,” you groaned.

“A lot of places will be closed by the time the show ends,” Ian countered.

“I guess we can still walk around the neighborhood then maybe catch a movie at Cineteca Nacional. And then plan on when to come back so I get to visit all the museums I want!” you exclaimed, quickly recovering from the thought of not being able to visit the places you wanted.

“We always say that in every stop of this tour,” Ian said which made both of you break into laughter.

You broke away from Ian and proceeded to work. John took the videos and you took the photographs and the two of you were also in charge of uploading these contents into the social media pages of DPR.

The meet and greet photos were also taken by you and you loved how Ian doesn’t just smile at the camera, he’s smiling at you. It made you feel giddy inside but you had to keep it professional at all times.

During the actual show, you shuffled between the front of the stage and on the actual stage to snap photos, which was a workout in itself.

After the show, the boys took a quick five just to quickly hydrate themselves before going out to do the encore.  The boys usually took showers after the show and everyone ate dinner after while waiting for the crowd to dissipate before leaving the venue.

You and Ian excused yourselves and made your way to Coyoacán via train to get to feel more of the city. As you alight the station, you pulled up the maps app for directions. The two of you headed first to the Frida Kahlo museum so you can “cross it off” your list of places to visit as it was already closed. Then you walked further down the street to take pictures of the colorful houses before walking back towards Cineteca Nacional.

You settled on the last showing of one of the indie films that was being shown so you can also explore the outdoor forum of the Cineteca. You browsed the stores until it was time for the movie to start.

The movie had no English subtitles and you had to rely on the tone of voice and the acting to understand what was happening and you made a mental note to look up the movie later on to see if you understood it correctly.

“That was an experience,” Ian declared as the two of you exited the cinema.

“I’m still confused as to what actually happened in the movie,” you replied as you search for the plot online on your phone.

Ian grabbed your hand as you walked. “Where to next?” he asked.

You tuck your phone away. “Back to the hotel I guess? Unless you want to go for a quick drink? But we have an early flight tomorrow,” you reasoned.

“You’re right. Anyway there are other things I can explore,” Ian said while eyeing you suggestively.

“What exactly?” you asked despite already knowing what he meant.

He turned you to face him, and he cupped your face with his hands and placed soft kisses on your lips. “You,” he said in between kisses causing you to giggle.

“Stooop! We’re in public!” You whined as you playfully slapped his arms away.

Ian dropped his hands and grabbed yours as he headed to the street and hailed the first cab he saw. He behaved himself in the cab and so did you. You were in a different country and you were afraid to potentially disrespect the cab driver. However, he still found a way to tease by squeezing your thigh once near your knee and again closer to your crotch. He smirked as he saw you bite back your gasp, knowing well what his touch does to you.

He held your hand as you exited the cab and made your way to the lobby. The elevator was empty when it opened and you quickly pressed on the close button and your floor to make sure you got the elevator all to yourselves. Ian was latched on to your lips as soon as the doors closed, pulling your head up as he tugged on your lower lip, causing you to whimper at the roughness of his actions. He placed a hand on the back of your head to prevent you from hitting it as he pushed you against an elevator wall, grinding his hips against yours as soon as your back hit the wall. He moved to kiss your jaw then your neck, each kiss becoming sloppier than the previous. You gripped his sides as he kissed you then you circled your arms around his waist, closing the gap as much as possible as he grinded against you.

The elevator dinged, causing both of you to stop and check at which floor it stopped. It stopped just a floor below yours and the two of you had to compose yourselves as a group of people heading to the rooftop filed in. You instinctively stood in front of Ian to cover his budding erection.

You reached your floor and you pulled Ian along as you exited the elevator. You ran to your room once you were away from the elevators, Ian just behind you. You stood against the door as Ian fumbled his pockets for the keycard. He opened the door and he pushed you inside and pinned you against the nearest wall then kicked the door closed.

“Where were we?” Ian asked.

“Here,” you mumble against his lips. You cupped his face as you kissed him, Ian deepening the kiss immediately. You dragged one hand down his chest and abdomen, down to his crotch and you stroked him over his jeans causing a low moan to escape his lips. You continued stroking him as you held him by the shoulder with your other hand and turned him, reversing your positions. He let you unbuckle his jeans and drag it down to his ankles. You knelt in front of him and pulled down his boxers exposing the his entire length.

You ran your hand down and up along his length and your thumb traced lazy circles around his tip. He tipped your chin up and you were looking up at him as you placed kisses along his shaft before you enveloped him with your mouth, his breath hitching at your actions. You held his shaft with one hand and you took him by the mouth slowly at first then you began to increase your pace.

“Just like that, Y/N. That feels so good,” Ian groaned in satisfaction.

You continued bobbing your head while you hand pumped the base of his shaft, taking him deeper each time, obscenities leaving Ian’s mouth. Your hand rested on his pelvis as your index finger and thumb supported the base of his shaft and you took his entire length in, a low growl emanating from Ian. You released him and you wiped away the drool from the corners of your mouth. Ian bent down to kiss you and helped you stand up.

He took a condom from his jeans pocket and put in on then discarded all of his clothing. He carried you bridal style and laid you on the bed. You unzipped your jeans and pulled them down, letting Ian pull it off the rest of the way as you removed your shirt.

“You’re so beautiful, Y/N,” Ian said as he admired your body. He climbed into the bed and on top of you, one hand cupped your face as he kissed you deeply while his other hand unhooked your bra. You pulled it off and Ian took one nipple in his mouth, circling it with his tongue before sucking on your perked nub, his hand palming and pinching the other.

He trailed kisses down your stomach and when he reached the waistband of your panties, he pushed your legs back and knelt in front of you. He pulled the crotch of your underwear aside, exposing your glistening core. He looked at you and maintained eye contact as he licked your entrance before sucking on your clit.

You reached for his head and pushed it lightly, encouraging him to continue what he was doing. You threw your head back against the mattress in ecstasy. “Oh god – Ian! The things you do with your tongue!” you exclaimed.

Ian grinned at your satisfaction and proceeded to slide a finger in between your labia, lubricating it before slipping it into your entrance. He pumped slowly at first then returned to lapping at your clit. His pumping became quicker causing your hips to buck against his mouth.

Sensing you were close, he released you and took off your panties. He climbed back into the bed and positioned himself along your entrance. He placed his arms on your waist and he bent his head down to give you a kiss, which you returned.

You guided him to your entrance and he started thrusting slowly, allowing you to adjust to his length.

“You good?” he asked as he brushed the stray hairs away from your face.

You nodded and Ian placed his hand back on your waist and started to quicken his thrusts. You held his wrists as you try to move your hips in time with his thrusts, pleasure building in your lower abdomen.

“Ian, I-, I’m close,” you whimpered.

He rested his forehead on yours as he continued his unrelenting pace to push you over the edge. You placed your hands on the back of his neck, cupping it as you leaned in for a kiss. You felt your walls tighten around him and you shuddered as you felt the oncoming waves of your orgasm, crying out Ian’s name in pleasure.

“Fuck Y-Y/N,” he screamed when he felt you tightening around his length, reaching his orgasm right after you and spurting his seed into the latex. He slowed down his thrusts before pulling out from you.

Ian cleaned himself up and returned to bed. He held you and nuzzled your forehead. You looked up at him and smiled, “How was your exploration?”

“You are my best adventure,” he declared causing a blush to creep on your face.

You gave him a peck on the lips and you made yourself comfortable in his embrace and you felt yourself slowly drift off to sleep.

[microsoftactivationscripts]

Rambling about Ben 10 and the English language for ~800 words

In March 24th of 2008, Latin America faced a significant problem: the newest DVD release of popular cartoon series Ben 10 had been released, and it did not feature a Spanish dub. This limited access to the majority of the population, since most of them did not speak English. It was a real problem, I swear. Many people were affected! One child in particular suffered most of all… Me. It was me. I was the main victim of this crime. Seven year old me was absolutely obsessed with Ben 10 and I watched the DVD episodes on repeat most days. When I got the season 3 disks, I was confused to see that they did not have an option for translated audio. However, they did have Spanish subtitles available, and I had the determination to continue watching the show on loop. The result of this was watching every episode of season 3 and then later 4 over and over, day after day, listening to English audio while simultaneously reading Spanish subtitles. At some point, one simply starts understanding what they’re saying. 

The image of a child learning a new language out of sheer determination to keep watching one particular cartoon show is pretty funny, which is why for the most part I only bring it up to get a laugh out of people. Going deeper into it, though, it is not hard to see that it actually ended up being a pretty important event in my life. It’s not that the experience of listening to the explanation for how Ben 10 suddenly unlocked Upchuck of all aliens to eat a giant robot in the season finale had a profound impact on me, though the season’s Ghostfreak arc did fuel my continued obsession with the show. It’s that it’s hard to imagine how different of a path my life would have taken if I had never learned to speak English. This is, of course, almost entirely due to the Internet. 

I’ve almost never been in a position where knowing English has been necessary offline, but online it’s a different story, with basically every popular website requiring you to be able to at least understand English, even if not fluently speak it yourself. Without access to this mass of information, I would be a very different person right now, considering that being limited to only what I learned from people and institutions around me would leave me with significant gaps in knowledge. I may have questioned less about how this society works and what is expected of all of us. I would imagine my political views, while still strongly anti-colonialist, would emphasise anti-capitalism less. 

A more personally dramatic change would likely be my lack of exposure to the concept of being transgender. Queer topics are simply never discussed in Puerto Rico, unless by way of disparaging comments and jokes. I would likely still know next to nothing about them had I never learned English and gone online to stumble across information by myself. I might still be occasionally wondering what’s wrong with me in the rare moments of introspection before returning to my default state of running on autopilot, which went on for years which I now genuinely struggle to remember most of. I would also never have met the people that went on to become my friends. What would have happened had I graduated high school in that state and had no one left to talk to, to confide in, to ease my loneliness with? What would have happened had I never met Shahnaz, the person I’m closest to in this entire world, who knows me better than anyone and is the only one I trust to talk to about my deepest issues? They’ve shaped my life in so many ways that it feels impossible to imagine a version of myself that never knew them, never knew her.

Being able to understand this language has, looking back, been a vital part of my development into being the person I am now. It let me consume media I would otherwise have missed out on. It allowed me access to information and perspectives that I may never have been exposed to had I been relying exclusively on what I learned from people and institutions locally, or even limited to Latin American internet, leading me to question more about the world, the society and systems we live under, and myself. It even made me able to connect with people who I otherwise would have had no chance of talking with, some of whom would go on to become close friends and have significant influences on me as a person. Hell, I’m now even planning on living in Scotland, a fully English-speaking country. That’s certainly going to bump up the amount of use I get out of the language. While I may sometimes have a few complicated feelings when it comes to the use of the language due to colonialism, I’ve never regretted knowing it. Being bilingual has widened my perspective on pretty much everything and allowed me to connect with some amazing people. Most of all, it let me watch Secret of the Omnitrix over and over and over again, and that shit is still cool as fuck. I’m gonna go watch Ben 10 again now.

[coffintownkids]

Our Word of the Day today is 滚.

滚 (gǔn) on the surface seems like a very generic word. It literally means to “roll” or “boil.” But if you look it up in a dictionary, you’ll find that it also means “get lost.” Depending on where you’ve watched The Untamed/CQL, you may have seen it subtitled as “scram” or even “piss off.”

Here’s the thing that a dictionary won’t tell you. It actually can be considered a very rude word. Something to keep in mind with Chinese in general is that a word itself isn’t always a Bad Word the way swear words in English are Always Bad Words. Chinese very much relies on context, intent, and the relationship between the people speaking.

Here’s some examples so far in MDZS when characters are using 滚 from what I’ve translated so far.

I posted some of this from Ch. 15 earlier but it’s worth sharing again.

In that moment, it was a very good thing that Lán Wàngjī didn’t curse at people. After holding back for quite some time, he pointed his raised sword at him. His expression was covered in frost.

“Get out. We’re fighting.”

Here LWJ says “get out” by saying “你出去” (nǐ chūqù) which is him literally telling WWX to go outside. They’re in the library so 你(you) 出 (send/exit) 去 (go/leave). It’s exactly what it says on the can.

But by then end of the Library Pavilion escapades..

Lán Wàngjī endured and endured until he couldn’t take it anymore, bellowing, “Out!”

Wèi Wúxiàn said, “Alright then, Lán Zhàn. Everyone says you’re a flawless gentleman and the shining jewel of our generation. That no one displays better manners than you. But it turns out this is what you’re really like. Aren’t you aware that Cloud Recesses prohibits causing a commotion? Yet you’re the one that ordered me ‘out.’ Was that the first time you said something like that to someone…?”

Lán Wàngjī drew his sword and stabbed at him.

HA! So, when LWJ is yelling 'out', you guessed it! He’s yelling 滚! And WWX calls him out for it. He couldn’t believe the illustrious LWJ would talk like that. How scandalous!!!

Shortly after, when WWX meets up with the other disciples to brag about his exploits (aka he successfully showed LWJ a dirty book), this conversation happens:

Niè Huáisāng said, “How did it go? Did he see anything? What kind of face did he make?”

Wèi Wúxiàn said, “What kind of face did he make? Hah! He was just screaming so loudly. Did none of you hear him?”

Niè Huáisāng looked reverent, “I did hear. He let you go! Wèi-xiong, that’s the first time I ever heard Lán Wàngjī tell somebody to ‘get out!’ How did you manage to do that?”

Again, NHS is also impressed WWX managed to get LWJ upset enough to tell him to 滚.

Later on, we jump to Ch.17. They’re sailing back to Caiyi Town and WWX is being himself. AKA flirting with everyone and everything and getting free fruit for his efforts.

Wèi Wúxiàn went to give Lán Wàngjī a loquat and held it up in front of his face. Lán Wàngjī kept calmly staring ahead, “Take that away.”

Wèi Wúxiàn did as he was asked, “I already know you don’t want it. That’s why I never had any intention of giving it to you in the first place. Jiāng Chéng, catch!”

It turned out Jiāng Chéng had taken the opportunity to hitch a ride on a different boat. He caught the loquat with one hand with the hint of a smile on his face, and then promptly snorted, “Turning on the charm again?”

Wèi Wúxiàn was glowing with pride, “Fuck off!”

He turned around and asked, “Lán Zhàn, you’re from Gūsū. Do you also understand the dialect spoken here? Can you teach me how to curse in the Gūsū dialect?”

So LWJ is legit just telling WWX to get the fruit out of his face. Nothing fancy there. But when JC starts teasing WWX about all his flirting, WWX playfully yells 滚 at him. Then, since he’s already using rude language, promptly turns around to ask LWJ how to use rude language in the local dialect! LWJ reacts by leaving the fucking boat and getting into a different one.

So these are all really great!!!!

But even though I haven’t gotten to that part in the book, when LWJ brings WWX to the cave after Nightless City and JYL’s death, WWX is completely out of his mind. And the one word he’s telling LWJ over and over and over again?

滚

Ouch.

[wishingstarinajar]

I am going to ramble a bit but I will hide it under a cut because it's a bit long. It will be about the previous fandom I was active in around two years ago and how it affects me to this day. It's also about popularity and putting others on a pedestal.

If this sort of ramble isn't up your alley then feel very free to skip over this post! I don't mind. If you want to read more about it, just check under the cut.

The Franchise And Its Creators

====

THE FRANCHISE AND ITS CREATORS Around mid-2014, I joined the Wakfu and Dofus fandoms, a small-ish fandom as a whole but popular in certain circles.

For those who don't know, Wakfu and Dofus are (online, console, mobile, figurine, card and board) games, comics, animated series, specials and movies created by a French studio named Ankama. These two franchises are intertwined with each other as they play out in the same universe but in different timelines. I myself dabbled around in the animated part of the fandom; I was a huge fan of the two series and the Dofus movie.

There was very little catering to the international part of the fandom when it came to the studio's attention and interactions. There were no English dubs or subtitles; international fans had to rely on English fan subtitles on ripped/pirated episodes of the show and movie, same for the franga/comics. Merch was hard to get. A lot of articles related to the shows and whatnot were in French only, which is understandable because it is a French-made product. But there's no denying that the international fanbase felt a little neglected back then.

====

MY FANDOM JOURNEY

Because I was very interested in the lore of both franchises, I had to do a lot of digging and translating to be able to fully indulge in it all. I went full in! I dug deep, created OCs, art and also tried to write fanfiction. I also shared news and info about the series and movie; I ran a fan blog dedicated to sharing things with the international part of the fandom. I was also often approached about lore, particularly for a few of the canon characters and one of the races that play a role in the Wakfu franchise; the Eliatropes. It was fun, it felt good to help other fans out, it was nice to make friends and be creative with others about similar things.

Eventually, the character and art theft began. We all know this is a 'normal' part of fandoms, so I won't hammer too long on it. My issue with it was the fact that my main OC, a female Eliatrope, gathered a lot of attention because female Eliatropes were a rarity in the Wakfu franchise. They existed but didn't get a moment in the limelight, except for one that even received her own game (Islands of Wakfu) but it was so obscure that a lot of fans didn't know about its existence. My OC was somehow mistaken as canon by plenty of folks and many others started to use her as a template to create their own (female) Eliatrope OC. I didn't mind, as long as they weren't straight-up copies and I tried to be supportive by answering lore questions and give feedback whenever it was asked for it (which happened a lot). Of course, copying and theft happened more often than not; over the five years I was part of the fandom, I sent out almost a hundred DMCA reports for art and character theft (like true theft; I could handle some similarities or one-time occurrences). One particular case went to the extreme but I won't beat that dead horse any further; it brought me enough misery to last me half a lifetime, that's all I'll say on it. I kept a lot of the negative experiences behind closed doors and dealt with a lot of it quietly to not bother, worry or burden anyone else with any of it. I wanted a positive and supporting environment for my followers, even if the truth wasn't as pretty.

====

ANKAMA'S STRUGGLE

Over the years, studio Ankama increased attempts to cater more to the international fanbase of its animated properties (articles in English, English dubs and subtitles, etc). However, the studio's struggle to garner the attention of international supporters (aka companies and sponsors) didn't go too smoothly, and to make matters worse, they were also struggling with finding a platform in France to broadcast the Wakfu series on after wishing to take a different and more mature direction. Ankama wanted more freedom with the Wakfu show, like less censorship, a serial rather than episodic, and it not being aimed at a young audience like its previous contractor demanded Wakfu to be. Ankama even turned to crowdfunding to get certain projects (like new Wakfu seasons) off the ground and let's just say that those crowdfunding projects are best described as tiny dumpster fires; they weren't pretty to watch. The first one was a disaster with plenty of displeased backers and the following crowdfunding attempts often didn't meet the end goal due to bad past experiences or the lack of interest.

Luckily, Netflix breathed some life into the international Wakfu fandom, which was great! But it was still received badly (mostly due to the awful English dub and sound mixing of the first two seasons and special) that the third season Netflix made possible was not getting the attention it deserved. It was also a rushed product due to financial and time constraints on Ankama's part. Netflix eventually declined a fourth season and it all fell a bit apart from there. Ankama turned to crowdfunding once more to try and make season 4 a reality. Last time I checked (which was quite a while ago), it did decently enough to make season 4 a reality. (Please don't ask me about it, I don't know anything about it.)

====

THE PEDESTAL

While all this was happening behind the scenes, I was starting to struggle with the reputation I built up in the Wakfu and Dofus fandom over the few years I was a part of it. The best way to describe it is that I had grown exhausted.

Aside from dealing with the theft and answering people's questions daily, I wanted to be treated as an average fan but I kept getting put on a pedestal. People went as far as to call me by titles (like lady Wish and miss Wish) more often than not. To be called and treated as such made me feel alienated, like as if I wasn't considered real. I often asked to just be called Wish, no titles/formalities required, and that I wasn't as 'popular' as they believed, but the majority of the people didn't seem to listen. People were either afraid or refused to interact with me because they considered me 'too popular', or simply wanted nothing but my validation, feedback and/or free art. I also had my fair share of haters and people that didn't approve of my 'status' in the fandom. Join the club xD I wasn't very happy with it either.

I really started to dislike being called 'popular' because it had such a bad impact on the people around me (and my own mental wellbeing). Friends started to become jealous of the attention I garnered and it dragged me down every time. At times, it would turn toxic. It was never my intention to make my friends feel like they meant less because they surely didn't. To learn that they believed others were only friends with them or only looked at their art/writing because they were good friends with me hurt so much. It still does. I refuse to believe that was fully true because I was (and still am!) surrounded by very creative people and they all deserved as much attention as I was getting, at times more. I wish others saw it that way too.

I was also heavily chained down thanks to the role (model) I played in the fandom. Too many people (especially young ones) looked up to me and there were a lot of expectations that I felt forced to meet. I started to lose the energy for it, but if I dared to stray a little from the path, the pitchforks and torches would come out. It was very restricting.

In the end, I felt stuck. Things started to grow toxic. There was a point where I began to dislike the franchise because of the bad feelings it brought me. I couldn't even get myself to watch the series or movie anymore. I focused less and less on the canon side of things and more on my own ideas, which was one of the only comforts I really had left in the fandom. I started to shut myself off, which upset a lot of people. I am sorry for that, I wish it didn't happen that way but I was at my wits' end.

When I realized and also accepted that I was no longer enjoying myself with canon or fanon, I knew I had to move on or stuff would end badly. It was a very tough realization and decision to accept and make; I literally dedicated five years of my life to the fandom. I spent hours a day digging for info and news to translate and share, doing 'research' for my fanfics, answering questions, and whatnot. I truly lived the fandom day in and out. It was the first fandom I ever actively participated in to this degree. What the heck was I going to do without that?

====

THE NOW

Abandoning the fandom was a scary step to take but not one I regret. I left the Wakfu and Dofus fandom behind me in late 2019. I feel freer now and so much happier. I no longer have the burden of expectations, being a lore guide or be forced to portray a certain role model weighing me down. I am no longer on that f*cking pedestal. I can finally explore interests that aren't exactly child-friendly without a big part of my following pummeling me down for it. (Don't worry, I always try my best to keep it in the appropriate places.)

Do I still like Wakfu/Dofus and all the stuff I've created with it? Yes, I do but I also want nothing more to do with it. Aside from the friends I've made there and also stuck around on my new adventures, I left the fandom behind me.

I still get approached at times about how my Wakfu OC, art and writing inspired someone and ask me if I could give them feedback for their own ideas or give them advice/information on Wakfu/lore. I am extremely humbled by it every time. It's great to see someone feeling inspired and be creative. However, I've moved on. I've left interacting with the Wakfu/Dofus fandom and fan-made stuff far behind me. I haven't touched it for almost two years and it shows on all the social media I share my art and writing on. I at times wish people could be considerate about the fact that I moved on but I also know and understand that not everyone knows my reasoning or my side of the story. I try not to be too harsh on it.

====

MY ADVICE

I don't hate anyone for how things turned out; a lot of it was my own doing by not saying no or taking a stronger stand.

It did teach me a lot of things, especially about caring for my own well-being and putting others on pedestals. Please be mindful when you treat someone like others treated me before; it's not healthy, for yourself and the person you put on that high pedestal. Take everything in moderation and consideration, that's all. Everyone's human, everyone has feelings, and everyone deserves a sense of being. Even your favorite artists and content creators. Don't treat them like an otherwordly being that you have to worship.

In turn, if a fandom or something you enjoyed is making you unhappy nowadays, you owe it to yourself to make or find a change. Be good to yourself, always!

~~

Thanks to anyone who read through this ramble. I needed to get this off my chest. I am not asking for advice, neither pity or whatever else. I just wanted to share my thoughts on past experiences because I have a feeling others might be going through something similar.

Thank you again, please take care.

[meichenxi]

Benefits of watching target language media without subtitles!

Or: why watching media without subtitles is not limited to advanced learners, and why you should incorporate it into your routine!

SO this is prompted by a personal anecdote: Yesterday I watched an episode of my favourite show (the untamed, go and watch it, heathens, it's gay and pretty and has beautiful sword fights and necromancers and revenge and insane character development and), and rather than keeping the subtitles on, I rather dubiously turned them off.

So no subs in Chinese or English.

And lo and behold - I could understand most things! Not everything, especially not specialised vocab or formal speech, but enough (with good knowledge of the plot already) to comfortably follow most conversations. Yeah, this was a surprise.

Watching media in your target language without subtitles is something that a lot of people think is restricted to advanced learners - learners at the stage where they can understand almost everything wihh subtitles in the target language (henceforth TL) itself, and is just used to train listening practice.

If you wait until you're at that stage to incorporate this into your language learning routine, though, you're missing out. And here's why.

Firstly, personal-situation specific: I usually learn best via reading, but my Chinese reading ability is much worse than my listening ability (immersion yay), and so turning on the Chinese subs just makes me annoyed and frustrated because I can't follow them quickly enough. I realise that for many people this may be the opposite way around, but for heritage speakers of languages that use an unfamiliar alphabet, or those (like me) who are not heritage speakers but because of various factors have had intense spoken immersion and little formal education (and thus some - SOME - of the same difficulties), subtitles can be a hindrance rather than a help. There are many posts targeting improving listening skills, but not so many looking at it the other way around, so it's important to remember such learners exist.

I found to my surprise that I picked up significantly more vocab with the subs off than with them on. Firstly, if you know the general plot and know enough to pick up the outline of the conversation, you contextualise any word automatically at the same time as using the context to provide clues for what the word could be - the example sentence defines the word, and the word comes automatically with an example sentence, which cements it in your memory far better than if you heard it in isolation. This fits nicely into the functionalist approach to language learning (which systems like Glossika try to utilise to varying degrees of success), where vocabulary and different variations and pronunciations of different words serve as individual instantiations of a particular token - in this case, it could be the vocabulary word itself, but that's not all the information you're getting. You're also getting instantiations of the actual SOUNDS of the language, as well as the grammar.

You're picking up information on the permittable pronunciation of certain phonemes and phonological patterns, to inform your brain how much variation is acceptable within native speech. So for example the finals <n> and <ng> in pinyin are notoriously difficult in Mandarin, with some native speakers doing away with it altogether. What the input tells you is how much like an /n/ the <ng> is allowed to sound whilst still being perceived as an <ng> by speakers - and thus what the range of permissable differences is, that you, as a non native speaker, can play with.

As I've already written about, one of my first hills to die on is the tone/intonation interplay. And listening to audio without subs is fantastic for teaching you how intonation works not only on an emotional level, but also how it helps people understand sentence structure - it teaches you which parts of an utterance to pay attention to. Even if you don't understand the word itself, you will gradually learn what is the focus point of the sentence and what is peripheral information. Why is this particularly effective without subtitles? Especially in languages that have differing sentence structure (like Chinese in longer sentences), you need to rely on the intonation to guide you towards finding the focal point of the sentence. With subtitles, you get lazy and you don't utilise your ear in the same way. And again, again, you're drumming these patterns into your head. Frequency = success!

Thirdly, by training your ear to listen for intonation, you are necessarily listening for grammar patterns that give you a clue about who is playing what role in the sentence. Our brains are fundamentally lazy (effecient)- they only pay attention to what is necessary to complete the task. Have you seen that video where you are asked to count how many times a basketball is passed? And then at the end they ask you if you noticed the bear? There is a lot of linguistic debate about what role exactly attention plays in the process of language learning, but for our purposes it suffices to say that both actively noticing a pattern and hearing it confirmed again and again when you are not specifically looking for it help us hugely when it comes to not only memorising, but also internalising, that grammatical pattern.

Going back to the attention thing, let's talk about another problem no subs solves: if you are reading subtitles in your native language (and even more so in your TL), you are much less likely to bring the full force of your listening abilities into play. Why? Well, because the answer is right there in front of you. Listening without subs forces you to use context, social cues like smiles or frowns, as well as supra segmental factors like tone of voice or volume, to determine what exactly is being said - in other words, the same social interaction and outside stimulus that many functional linguists believe is absolutely critical to the development of the language faculty in children. Of course, you're not actually interacted with the media, but being actively forced to pay attention to these things makes it a much more holistic process. Suddenly, your brain is fired up: it needs to pay attention to everything in order to understand. In other words, the vocabulary and grammar and intonation you're hearing has suddenly become relevant.

And what happens when it's relevant? We learn it - sometimes without even knowing that's what's happening.

For all of these reasons, then, whatever your level, I'd suggest listening and watching media in your target language without subtitles. The expectations you have at each level, from beginner to advanced, should not, however, be the same. Unless you find incredibly good targeted media, or the language is sufficiently similar to one you know, you're unlikely to understand even what's going on when you first start out.

That's ok. Your brain is processing things - it's learning how to recognise nouns, verbs, questions, declarative sentences, the way the language expresses surprise or fear or love. It's learning that some phonetic distinctions that you don't have in your native language are important in your TL. It's heading patterns of vocabulary and grammar and phonology again and again and again. Don't expect to understand everything - but try copying it, out loud, if you can. It will help you get an ear for word boundaries, which is crucial for parsing the boundless speech-stream that's suddenly presented to you.

If you're at an intermediate level, enjoy spotting common verbs and watching the action, even if you don't know 100% what's going on. Even more than the beginner level, you're getting used to the speed of the language and its rhythms, as well as challenging yourself to understand more.

If you're at an advanced level, this is perfect for you. You'll understand more than you suspect. And if you don't, who cares, it's meant to be difficult. I never would have thought that I could understand and comfortably enjoy most of an episode of my show. And there were certainly conversations where I was totally lost!! But that's ok. You don't need 95% comprehension to survive - 50%, while incredibly frustrating, is good enough - as long as it's the right 50%! All you need is one key word - especially if you're watching media you're familiar with, which I recommend - and then click! You've got it.

加油！

[lightoftruth]

The Walt Disney Corporation has been allegedly holding extensive critical race theory training for employees.

Internal documents obtained by Christopher Rufo, a senior fellow at Manhattan Institute, show Disney launching a “diversity and inclusion��� program called “Reimagine Tomorrow.” The trainings discuss the leftist ideas of “systemic racism,” “white privilege,” “white fragility,” “white saviors,” “microaggressions,” and “antiracism.” The subtitle of the booklet guide reads: “Allyship for Race Consciousness.”

Disney, which owns ABC, ESPN, Touchstone Pictures, Marvel, Lucasfilm, and other major media companies, instructed employees to “take ownership of educating yourself about structural anti-Black racism” as well as “not rely on your Black colleagues to educate you,” which would be “emotionally taxing.”

“When America’s storied places of joy and refuge from the cares of the world turn themselves into partisan actors and political indoctrination factories, the harm to our social fabric is immeasurable,” Stanley Kurtz, a senior fellow at the Ethics and Public Policy Center, told The Federalist. “Disney is dividing the country it once helped to inspire, inviting entirely justified blowback from the vast number of Americans it now derogates, disregards, and caricatures. I thought politicized baseball was the unkindest cut of all, but now this. As Disney and other woke corporations plunge America into the bitterest cultural conflict in memory, they deserve to feel shame, not pride.”

The  training modules centralize the notion of “anti-racism” — the idea that Americans must acknowledge their country is systemically racist and eradicate any semblance of a colorblind society. The company told employees they must also “work through feelings of guilt, shame, and defensiveness to understand what is beneath them and what needs to be healed,” harping on the notion of implicit bias. The phrase “All Lives Matter” was communicated as derogatory, and so was the phrase “I don’t see color.”

One module in the training titled “What Can I Do About Racism?” instructed staff to denounce the idea of “equality” and instead favor “equity.” The corporation crafted a “21-Day Racial Equity and Social Justice Challenge” that was followed by a “white privilege checklist.” The checklist claims a variety of statements, if affirmed, indicate a person’s “privilege.” This includes some of the following statements:

I am white.

I have never tried to hide my sexuality.

I am a man.

I have never felt poor.

I went to summer camp.

I have never had an addiction.

Below is the full document Rufo obtained from a Disney whistleblower:

In addition to other modules, employees were provided several outside resources. This included a guide titled “75 Things White People Can Do For Racial Justice” that claims readers should support “defund[ing] the police” and “decolonize your bookshelf.”

The guide also claims employees should read The New York Times’s inaccurate and divisive “1619 Project” by Nikole Hannah-Jones. Streaming service Hulu, owned by Disney, is streaming a docuseries on Hannah-Jones’s work. The company described the “1619 Project” as “a landmark undertaking …of the brutal racism that endures in so many aspects of American life today.”

Dr. James A. Lindsay, the founder of New Discourses and the author of “Cynical Theories: How Activist Scholarship Made Everything about Race, Gender, and Identity—and Why This Harms Everybody,” told The Federalist that Americans “have to stop being shocked” about critical race theory trainings.

“This is happening pretty much everywhere,” Lindsay said. “What’s happening at Disney, while it looks very extreme, is actually quite typical. We see almost exactly the same kinds of things playing out in terms of what these trainings are made up of and what they include. The picture that has to come across somehow is these aren’t isolated incidents. This is government agencies. This is churches. This is virtually every university. This is many if not most school districts.”

Further dividing its employees by race and sex, Disney crafted “affinity groups” for minority employees to join. The groups are titled “Hola” for latino individuals, “Compass” for asians, and “Wakanda” for blacks. The objective of the groups is to provide “culturally-authentic insights” for employees and encourage “diversity,” “inclusion,” “belonging,” “identity,” and “allyship.” There is no group provided for all individuals to join.

Employees told Rufo the corporation sends “almost daily memos” on such issues and that Disney is “completely ideologically one-sided.” Numerous employees concurred and one claimed the corporate environment is “very stifled.”

“It’s been very stifling to feel like everyone keeps talking about having open dialogue and compassionate conversations, but when it comes down to it, I know if I said one thing that was truthful, based on data, or even just based on my own personal experience, it would actually be rather unwelcomed,” a Christian and conservative employee said.

In a video obtained by Rufo, Executive Chairman Bob Iger allegedly said Disney will not “shy away from politics” and “should be taking a stand” on identity politics issues. Iger also allegedly said the films “Dumbo,” “Aladdin,” and “Fantasia” are “racist content.” The company fired “The Mandalorian” actress Gina Carano in February for not displaying allegiance to identity politics while continuing to do business with a genocidal Communist China.

HD Editor’s Note: Why Is This News Biblically Relevant?

When Jesus��� disciples came to Him and asked, “What shall be the sign of thy coming, and of the end of the world?” Jesus explained to them that one of the signs that would precede His coming would be “nations” rising against “nations.”

The word “nations” found in this verse (Matthew 24:7) is from the Greek word “ethnos,” where we get our English word for “ethnicity.” Therefore, this verse can also be read that “ethnicity shall rise against ethnicity” in the last days.

Racism is not new. However, what is new to our generation is the fabricated racism taught in schools, espoused by the media, and canceled by ‘culture.’ This stoking of division will, in the not too distant future, lead to genuine widespread racism. Racism is a sin. Creating division and hatred is a sin (Prov. 6:16-19, Luke 11:17, 1 John 2:9). All of these things are deeply rooted in a rebellion against God, His Word, and His design.

[farmerlan]

Farmer Lan’s Rewatch Guide to The Untamed - Episode 11

Jiang Fengmian’s palms getting real sweaty rn

episode masterlist here

SPOILER WARNING!  

[Jin Guangyao takes his leave and Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng decide to return to the Lotus Pier. Jiang Cheng is worried about being punished for leaving without permission and grouses that he will never stop getting into trouble because of Wei Wuxian. When Jiang Fengmian appears, he seems unusually concerned about whether they encountered any trouble along the way as opposed to whether they stirred up any trouble.]

Differences from the novel:

This pretty much doesn’t happen since none of the events leading up to it happens in the novel.

It’s kind of interesting because I think the show makes Jiang Fengmian appear more disciplinarian than he is in the novel? In the drama, he definitely harshly rebuked Wei Wuxian at the Cloud Recesses and Jiang Cheng mentioned being punished by him. But in the novel Madam Yu was 100% the disciplinarian and Jiang Fengmian either was way too relaxed (with Wei Wuxian) or just didn’t care (with Jiang Cheng).

[Jiang Yanli arrives as well and they all sit down for lunch when Madam Yu shows up. I LOVE how her entrance is accompanied by villainous music. She has a bone to pick with...well, just about everybody. She goes off about the Wen ‘indoctrination’ and the unfairness of Jiang Cheng being forced to go as the heir while Wei Wuxian is given a choice. She doesn’t give face to ANYBODY, picking on Jiang Yanli, Jiang Cheng, and Wei Wuxian in turn.]

Differences from the novel:

This does happen in Chapter 51, pretty much almost word for word. There is, I think, some interesting nuance in her choice of words here that might have been missed if you relied on the Netflix subs (which kind of suck, sorry), so I summarized my thoughts in the overall section below.

[Lan Wangji is ambushed by Wen Chao on his way back, but manages to escape. Lan Xichen and Lan Qiren do the whole “no, YOU leave and I stay” routine and Lan Xichen finally accepts that he must escape with the Lan archives. We watch the Lan disciples get massacred.

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng disclose their involvement with the Yin metal to Jiang Fengmian, and Jiang Fengmian speculates that while the Wen sect won’t come for them YET, the Lan sect is likely in deeper shit than the rest of them due to their involvement with the Yin metal. 

The Lan disciples and Lan Qiren convene outside the cold cave, and are joined by Lan Wangji. They make it into the cold cave, but are betrayed by Su She. Lan Wangji tells Wen Xu to leave the Cloud Recesses in exchange for the Yin metal - and gets one of his legs broken.]

Differences from the novel:

We don’t really get to see what happens at the Lan sect during the burning of the Cloud Recesses - we only learn of it through what was recounted by Lan Wangji. He does get his leg broken though.

Lan Xichen claims he cannot leave because he is the sect leader, implying that their father is already dead. However, in the novel, the raid happens when their father, Qingheng-Jun, is still alive. In Chapter 55, while trapped in the tortoise cave, Lan Wangji mentions that when he left for the Wen indoctrination, his father was severely injured in the attack, and Lan Xichen escaped with as much of the sect’s archives as possible,  with his current whereabouts unknown. When Wei Wuxian awakens at Lotus Pier afterwards, he learns from Jiang Cheng that Qingheng-Jun had passed away while they were at the Wen sect. :(

Ambush doesn’t happen, and the Su She/cold cave scene doesn’t happen. In the flashback timeline, Su She really only shows up twice - once as part of the water ghosts excursion and once at the tortoise cave.

[Back at the Lotus Pier, Wei Wuxian demonstrates his archery prowess. Jiang Cheng says, ‘Shooting under their sun won’t be as easy as today” - on the surface a reference to the weather, but keep in mind that the Wen sect’s symbol is the sun, and in Chinese what he said can also be translated as “THIS sun” (这太阳), right after one of the disciples mentions the Wen sect, so it’s literally foreshadowing the eventual Sunshot Campaign (射日). 

Wen Ruohan is displeased that Wen Qing lets Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian escape, and she promises that there will not be a next time. Meanwhile, Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian are headed to Qishan and Jiang Fengmian sends them off with his famous line, “明知不���为而为之，有所不为，方有可为”.

They arrive at Qishan and we see some familiar faces, but the Lan sect is conspicuously missing. Wen Chao makes his appearance and the Wen guards bring in Lan Wangji, and then demands they surrender their swords.]

Differences from the novel:

I have thoughts about the English translation of the Jiang sect’s motto (“attempting the impossible”), I’ll save them for down below. Also - Jiang Fengmian never says the latter half the line in the novel - only the motto (明知不可而为之).

In the novel, they are practicing archery/fooling around right before Madam Yu shows up to admonish them, and then they learn about the Wen sect indoctrination. So the sequence of events is flipped around.

Since Lan Wangji didn’t have to surrender the Yin metal to the Wen sect in the novel, he just shows up with the rest of the Lan sect disciples in the novel.

This is the first time that we run into Wen Chao in the novel, and he’s flanked by Wang Lingjiao and Wen Zhuliu.

Overall thoughts：

First of all, Netflix’s subtitling needs work. I mean, I know it’s definitely not easy to do any kind of translation, so I don’t want to rag on anyone’s efforts either, but I was laughing at parts of the show. I didn’t have subtitles on when I first watched The Untamed, but I turned it on for the re-watch since it might be helpful to see how my understanding aligns with that of a non-Chinese viewer. It’s not bad, but also missing some flavor.

I first laughed at Netflix’s subtitle usage of ‘myrmidon’ when subbing Madam Yu - it’s a serious SAT word where servant would have sufficed. Madam Yu’s speech is actually pretty much identical to what was in the novel, but I wanted to point out her specific usage of the word ‘household servant/家仆’, and the subtext here that might be missed for people relying on the subs. In the novel, she calls out Jiang Yanli for peeling lotus seeds for Wei Wuxian and says, ‘You’re not a servant!’. In the context of the situation, she is specifically pointing out the difference between her and Wei Wuxian’s status - don’t serve someone who is supposed to serve you, remember your place is higher than his. Keep in mind that Wei Wuxian’s father was a servant of the Jiang sect who eloped with CSSR (whom Jiang Fengmian had fancied). Wei Wuxian’s high status within the Jiang sect is unusual and has always been seen as a symbol of favoritism and therefore a sore spot for Madam Yu. It would have been way more common for him to have a servant/companion relationship with Jiang Cheng (similar to how Jin Guangyao’s relationship was with Nie Huaisang in the drama) since he is after all completely unrelated by blood to the Jiang sect. Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian even discuss this in greater detail in Chapter 56 - funnily enough, Wei Wuxian doesn’t mind this term at all, most likely because he was raised more like the child of a sect leader vs. the child of a servant.

(Mini non-related rant: I sometimes see fan discussions that casually glosses over the importance of blood and familial ties in Chinese culture, and it makes me want to tear my hair out, especially considering that the whole ‘blood is thicker than water’ thing is basically a trope in so much of Chinese xianxia/wuxia literature. There’s a lot of “how could you abandon someone who is basically your brother” talk when discussing the relationship dynamics between Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian while blithely ignoring the fact that they are NOT and WILL NEVER BE brothers. Periodt. In fact, they are clearly both deeply cognizant (Jiang Cheng perhaps more so) of their non-familial ties and it is an issue that comes up again and again in their conversations or narrative dialogues. I just hate it when people handwave away their complicated relationship and pin it all on Jiang Cheng as being ‘unsibling-y’. /end rant)

One other thing I’m kind of picky about is the translation for the Yunmeng Jiang sect’s motto - to ‘attempt the impossible’, or ‘“明知不可而为之’. Strictly speaking, I don’t think it’s a great translation of the meaning of the phrase, which is likely derived from the Analects of Confucius (Xian Wen, 38), because it leaves out a big chunk of the meaning. 明知不可而为之 is to do what you SHOULD do, even if it seems impossible and, in the course of doing so, you may find that it wasn’t so impossible after all, but the possibility of success or failure should not preclude you from doing what needs to be done. Lu Xun, one of China’s most esteemed writers, wrote a piece that I think fits in well here - if you see a bunch of people soundly asleep in a room that has no easy way in or out, and you knew they would asphyxiate to death soon, would you wake them? Or let them pass away peacefully in their sleep? (Note: he wasn’t specifically using the example to illustrate this principle, it’s just a story I borrowed that fits in well here)

The argument under the 明知不可而为之 principle would be to wake them. Even though they’ll likely spend their last moments in terror and struggling for air and trying to escape, it is what you should do, even if the outcome is unlikely to be favorable.

Interestingly, it has been used in a much more negative context in the novel. In the novel, the line is often referenced in the light of ‘you knew this would cause trouble and disaster for everyone and yet you went ahead anyway’ - if I were to insert ‘attempt the impossible’ into those situations, it would be really odd.

Lastly, I do love the show’s portrayal of the Lotus Pier! It’s exactly like how the novel depicted it and honestly it still breaks my heart how it was sacked + the changes in the succeeding years as Jiang Cheng rebuilt Yunmeng. I don’t remember if the show goes into too much detail, but in the novel, it’s mentioned in Chapter 86 and 92 that there’s a lot less activity around the Lotus Pier now due to Jiang Cheng’s fearsome temperament. :(

Also straight up I’m gonna say Jiang Fengmian has the best fits in the entire series, how can you not get with that black and purple combo ughhhh

[letterboxd]

Obsession.

Ella Kemp dives into Letterboxd’s 100 highest-rated, obsessively rewatched films of 2020 to find out why we love them—and to give Hollywood a heads-up on what we want to rewatch again and again.

Take note, development execs: we want to watch more of everything that makes us feel alive; that makes us feel thankful to be. To bottle that feeling, and drink it up as often, and as obsessively, as we like. We also want: more singing, more dancing, more drugs, more talking animals, more of whatever Director Bong is serving—and make everything gayer.

We know this because, a few years back, the Letterboxd team asked one very simple question: what’s the highest-rated film of all time, when the criteria is that you must have seen it five or more times? Not the ‘guilty’ pleasures, not the ‘so-bad-it’s-good’ gems, but the already-excellent films that are also inherently rewatchable. The resulting top 100 from back then are all extremely, objectively good. What can we say—you have great taste.

Because 2020 is, well, 2020, we revisited this idea to see how four years and an endless quarantine might have changed things. The usual suspects have been rounded up (Christopher, Quentin, Ridley, Damien, David and company), but a lot has shifted in the Highest Rated Obsessively Rewatched Club for 2020.

The top ten in the 100 highest rated, obsessively rewatched films of 2020.

Céline Sciamma’s Portrait of a Lady on Fire is now top of the heap, where Spike Jonze’s Her was number one last time around. In fact, only Jaws and Carol remain from the last top ten. The Letterboxd community favors a wider world view: in 2017, the top 100 had only one film by a female director; in 2020 there are eight. The list has gone from exactly zero films entirely in languages other than English, to two (Portrait and Parasite), with several more containing a portion of non-English dialogue. Not quite leaping the one-inch tall barrier of subtitles, but it’s progress. And, there is substantially more LGBTQ+ representation all round.

This year’s top 100 shows that we still like to return to the idea of the auteur, and the challenge of a franchise. In 2017, Christopher Nolan was the filmmaker with the highest number of highly rated, obsessively rewatched films; in 2020 Quentin Tarantino has taken the lead, just ahead of Nolan. Joining them in the multiple-titles group are Edgar Wright, Peter Jackson, Joe and Anthony Russo, epic-scale filmmakers from whom we’ve learned so much, and whose films have more to offer the viewer on every watch. (When ratings are not part of the equation, Avengers: Endgame—still with a respectable 3.9 average—was the Most Obsessively Rewatched title of 2019. “You give me someone flying, turning invisible, super speed… that’s where I live,” explains obsessive rewatcher Max Joseph this Letterboxd interview. “In Endgame, I get a little bit of every genre and mood.”)

Obsessed with obsession

What is “obsessive”? To put some kind of parameters around the search for this year’s top 100, our team looked for the feature films that had five or more rated watches from a minimum of 150 Letterboxd members each, then we sorted that list by the ratings of those members.

But that word—“obsessive”—got me thinking. Just how obsessive are we talking here? It’s reassuring to know that Parasite is, naturally, a film we enjoy returning to, but when we’re talking about rewatches plural, what happens when we sort these 100 highly rated titles by another value: the number of diary entries logged by these obsessive members. And what would that list say about our tendencies as watchers?

Spoiler: we also pulled those numbers, and found an entirely different top ten:

The most obsessively rewatched, highest-rated films of all time, as at 2020.

Look at that image. Compare it with the inarguable cinephilia of the ratings-based top ten, which soars on critical strength. What are we seeing here? That’s not the question. The real question is: what are we feeling? What do these ten films do to us so consistently, that helps them to retain high ratings across many, many, many rewatches?

You see, in the top 100, members typically log their favorites between five and seven times—but there’s a select handful of titles that see an average of up to 24 viewings per obsessive member. You read that right. There is a film on Letterboxd that multiple obsessive members have watched 24 times or more, at the time of writing.

Comedy that never gets old

The film in question is Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi’s What We Do in the Shadows, a genre-smart mockumentary about three vampire housemates just, well, pure vibing. It’s entirely in a league of its own, no doubt helped by a spin-off series, with the next entry, The Lonely Island’s Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping racking up an average of 17.7 rewatches per obsessive member.

These top two most obsessively rewatched titles make sense. When you’re feeling low, or when there’s some time to kill, what better place to turn than somewhere where the jokes never get old? As James writes on Letterboxd, Shadows “never fails to make me laugh”. Never fails. Taking a chance on a new comedy harbors its risks, so when you find the ones that work, you have to hold onto them like gold dust. It’s the sense of familiarity that comes from the same sharp, self-aware sketches, the endlessly quotable one-liners and screenshots that make memes feel like works of art.

(On that note, I asked the team: what were the highest-rated, obsessively rewatched comedy specials? No surprises: Bo Burnham’s masterful 2016 Netflix special Make Happy, and John Mulaney’s Kid Gorgeous at Radio City. Comedy is good when it catches you off guard—but in a pandemic, it’s even better when you can rely on it to deliver that same rush of endorphins, every time.)

Thank you for the music

Speaking of pick-me-ups, ever notice how much better you feel after karaoke? Or, when you know everyone else has gone out so you can let rip across every inch of the house with ultimate privacy? The cathartic thrill that comes from a sing-along is what keeps our obsessive members returning to musicals, increasingly. There’s comfort in memorized lyrics; the words we yell and hold dear.

You’ve got this in Popstar (‘Finest Girl’, anyone?) and, crucially, in a double-bill of jukebox musicals celebrating ABBA’s greatest hits: Mamma Mia! and Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again. With fifteen rewatches on average for the former, and almost seventeen for the latter, the sequel’s slight upper hand proves the film’s triumphant formula—there really is an endless supply of ABBA bangers—but also that the repurposing of the most pivotal tracks (‘Mamma Mia’ and ‘Waterloo’) will work even better the second time around, due to the familiarity, both of the songs and now their new-found purpose in this world.

The feeling of singing along with Lily James as Donna, as she dances around Paris with her young Harry, of latching onto Cher’s every breath as she reunites with the eponymous Fernando—these moments become part of our own memory, and the satisfaction that comes from performing them again and again never fades. It’s also why so many musicals are rewatchable staples. Singin’ in the Rain, Rocketman, Bohemian Rhapsody and Pitch Perfect all feature in the top 100.

Out of interest, I asked the team to lift the curtain on non-narrative music films to see which greats we return to. Again, zero surprise (to me, at least): Jonathan Demme’s transcendent Talking Heads concert film Stop Making Sense is, and has long been, the highest-rated, most obsessively rewatched concert documentary on Letterboxd. And it’s only been a few months, but the Disney+ filmed version of Hamilton is up there, along with Homecoming: A Film by Beyoncé. #BEYHIVE, come in.

Maybe we should trust love

At the other end of the spectrum, two titles in the most obsessively rewatched top ten point to our tendencies to find catharsis in our most extreme, most vulnerable expressions of emotion. Our two revealing films here are Love, Simon and Interstellar—one a grounded and sensitive coming-of-age picture of a teenage boy’s coming out, the other an epic space-travel thriller. Still, both films understand that, ultimately, love transcends all.

These films make room for us to revisit these most searing feelings, of love hidden, lost, afraid or universal, they let us cry out what we relate to, and escape into whichever onscreen emotions we prefer to project ourselves into beyond our own lives, time and time again. Because however much changes, you know you’ll always crave and be rewarded by love. (And by the existential exploration that often accompanies these big feelings: Don Hertzfeldt's World of Tomorrow is the highest-rated, most obsessively rewatched short film with Letterboxd members.)

Ink spots and needle drops

The idea of projection—of escape beyond our own lives—comes back often when thinking of the rewatch. But certain titles reveal how we choose to find escape in a quite literal form; observe the love for Tangled, rewatched on average ten times per obsessive member.

And then there’s Shrek 2, revisited on average 7.9 times (more on this bizarre, outstanding oddity on its own soon). The leap of faith into an animated world is one that offers a blank canvas painted over with new colors: the pastel pinks and soft peach oranges of sunset skies in Tangled, the rich purples and blues of the twinkling lights of the afterlife in Coco, the playful blue waters of Moana, with the sun giving everything a new glow. Animation works as relaxation here, clearing the mind and coloring it calmly time and time again. Elsa said it first: you can, and should, let it all go.

It is entirely probable, of course, that no Letterboxd parent is logging the Frozens—or any other animated family film, for that matter—as often as their household is actually watching them, the truth of which would completely upend this data. We know the math underpinning this whole exercise is somewhat arbitrary, but it’s an interesting starting point from which to analyze why certain things just work, again and again.

Take the oddity that is Shrek 2, deserving of its own dissection purely because of how masterfully it combines so many of the previously established elements. This film and its predecessor create so many vivid images that fit into the category of animated escapism, but music plays a major part, also. ‘Accidentally In Love’ by Counting Crows as Shrek and Fiona blissfully enjoy their honeymoon period; ‘Funky Town’ by Lipps Inc. as Shrek, Fiona and Donkey roll into Far Far Away; Jennifer Saunders as Fairy Godmother, with her sublime cover of Bonnie Tyler’s ‘Holding Out For A Hero’. There are too many perfect needle-drop moments to count, and every time the rewatch comes around, they feel new.

Add to the comforting visuals and euphoric music the countless one-liners, perfectly performed by Eddie Murphy and Mike Myers, but really, here, Rupert Everett as Prince Charming—a squirm-inducing, note-perfect pantomimic performance. Shrek 2 might just be the defining example of what makes a good movie the best movie, and one that only grows greater with every rewatch. Lucky us.

Festive fever

The inclusion of A Christmas Story, the second-last in our most rewatched top ten, makes sense when considering the times in our lives when we turn to movies for comfort (and discomfort: note the Hallowe’en-related rewatchables in the top 100). A Christmas Story might not be your first festive choice, but you will have your own equivalent. The Muppet Christmas Carol also made the top 100, with Elf, Love, Actually and the Home Alone movies bubbling under. We recognize all the beats, and seeing as the holidays return each year, it’s natural that we return to the titles that make us feel most at home within them.

Like Carol. Darling Carol. The last of our top ten most most most rewatched. Flung out of space into our eyeballs by Todd Haynes as some sort of Christmas miracle, its rewatchability as much seasonal as it is about love, representation, vintage glamor and that final scene. Let’s see where Happiest Season sits this time next year, shall we?

And so, what can filmmakers and distributors learn from what we want to see, not just once, but again and again? In just four years the list of titles the Letterboxd community has chosen to revisit and protect has blossomed with an open heart and feverishly enthusiastic mind.

Looking over the top 100 highest-rated, obsessively rewatched films in 2020, we want more queer love: Portrait, Moonlight and Carol but also Booksmart, The Favourite, Call Me by Your Name. We definitely need more singing and dancing: Suspiria, La La Land, Singin’ in the Rain, Mamma Mia and beyond.

We want more adventure, more time travel, more mind-melters, more drinking, exploring, investigating, more talking animals, more drugs, more laughs, more tears, more goosebumps. We want more full-body feelings of falling in love with a movie you know you’ll hold onto with everything you’ve got.

In the end, numbers can only tell us so much, and these numbers are drawn from what we’ve already seen, which is what’s already managed to make it through the system. There’s as much to learn from how these films were made as there is from what they’re about. Because, no matter how many AI tools people dream up to help with the green-lighting process, moviemaking is fundamentally about magic. And when all the right ingredients make it into the cauldron, the spell can be so strong that a film will win our hearts forever.

Related content

The Highest-Rated Obsessively Rewatched Club for 2020

Follow Ella on Letterboxd

[rigelmejo]

watched shan he ling ep 1. am liveblogging it on main blog ToT

putting notes here for later when i wanna look back and see where i was >o>)/

I haven’t watched shows in a couple months. Watched anti fraud league yesterday (so modern detective), and shan he ling today (so wuxia). Both were comfortable enough I did not need to pause to follow the plot. However I did pause for like 2 scenes in each show to re-read the chinese subtitles for specific details, because it was slightly frustrating me i was only getting a vague impression of certain details. In Anti fraud league this worked pretty well - even if a word was totally unknown I’ve seen the hanzi so i could get a bit of clarification from context and seeing the hanzi (so probably applies to modern shows?). In shan he ling this worked less well - a lot of words I KNOW show up in Love and Redemption, in palace dramas, and I just did not know the characters so I didn’t have anything but context of the scene. I’ve read some of tian ya ke so that was enough context to follow those scenes fine and guess the details. But its a bit frustrating not being able to clearly catch them - since i could clarify them in a different show. 

Reminds me a lot of when i tried to watch Ancient Detective. Except ancient detective was SO much harder i was drowning and focusing very hard. This time around, with shan he ling, i didn’t have to focus extra or do much in particular - like watching an english show. i just felt like i vaguely caught some scenes rather than clearly got the lines. which is a vast improvement over a couple months ago when I last tried watching shows. I’m gonna go ahead and assume the listening-reading activity helped. Because like since I did a dozen or so hours of it, just catching audio has been easier when listening to shows - so I don’t have to look at the chinese subtitles constantly, i don’t need to rely on them for the parts I know, which makes watching shows a more chill activity. And means I don’t have to focus on catching known words when i DO look at subtitles - since i already heard them and caught them - i can just focus on scanning real quick to find the unknown words and figure out what they meant. Just like... takes less energy now to keep track of what’s going on and to figure out the unknown parts. Noticeably less energy than last time. I also watched some of Love and Redemption today and because i DO know the plot for that i can listen to it in the background as just audio and follow which scene is happening. 

So... fluff romance easiest ( -o-; ), detective modern ok (!!), wuxia vague but still manageable to follow. I’m glad to see wuxia is getting easier to follow. But yeah a lot of like succinct ways of saying things (which also confuses me in Love and Redemption) I struggle to clearly follow unless I pause and either try real hard with context to figure out or get a dictionary ToT. I don’t need to look words up to follow thankfully - i didn’t look anything up today with shan he ling. But without any prior context i’d probably have to, or else pause sometimes, just to clarify some things.

Like shan he ling opens with a little info dump on the glass shards, and because i read the book it wasn’t an issue that i barely followed what they said. And in the scene with red and the i’m guessing demons/ghosts, they say kill X take the glass, but the first run through i had no idea what they meant besides ‘glass’ because i couldn’t figure out if it was a name or phrase that quick. Also the scene where zhou zishu quits tian chuang. i know the scene so i had context to easily guess what everyone’s doing, but i wanted to clarify exactly what dialogue so i had to rewatch the scene to actually catch it. 

[fangirlfiction]

Every Bucky Barnes Line in the MCU

I mean, not that I needed a reason to rewatch the entire Captain America trilogy (+ the other two movies our boy is briefly in), but I gave myself one. And that was to compile every line of dialogue that Bucky Barnes speaks in the MCU. Since we all fell in love with a man who only has 46 minutes of screentime across the MCU, I thought that it might be useful for fanfiction writing. Or just because. 

Also, I included the Winter Soldier’s Russian lines as well. I gave the English translation, what I believe the Russian is, and how to phonetically say the Russian. But please keep in mind, I don’t speak/know Russian and I am relying on a few different translators, so I apologize if I got it wrong! (eta: thank you to @thedarkcaustic for the corrections to the Russian lines!!!)

After hours of hitting pause and play, I present to you, all 120 lines out of Bucky’s mouth, sorted by movie!

Captain America: The First Avenger

Hey! Pick on someone your own size.

Sometimes I think you like getting punched.

How many times is this? Oh, you’re from Paramus now? You know it’s illegal to lie on your enlistment form. And seriously, Jersey?

The 107th. Sergeant James Barnes, shipping out for England first thing tomorrow.

Come on, man. It’s my last night! I got to get you cleaned up.

The future. 

I don’t see what the problem is. You’re about to be the last eligible man in New York. You know there’s three and a half million women here? 

Good thing I took care of that.

Only the good stuff. 

Holy cow.

Hey Steve, what do you say we treat these girls…

Come on, you’re kinds missing the point of a double date.  We’re taking the girls dancing. 

You’re really going to do this again?

As who, Steve from Ohio? They’ll catch you. Or worse, they’ll actually take you.

This isn’t a back alley, Steve. It’s war. 

Why are you so keen to fight? There are so many important jobs.

Yes! Why not?

Right. Cause you got nothing to prove.

Yes, we are.

Don’t do anything stupid until I get back.

You’re a punk.

Come on, girls. They’re playing our song.

Sergeant. 32557.

Is that…

Steve?

Steve.

I thought you were smaller.

What happened to you?

Did it hurt?

Is it permanent?

You don’t have one of those, do you?

Gotta be a rope or something!

No! Not without you! 

Hey! Let’s hear it for Captain America!

See? I told you. They’re all idiots.

Hell no. That little guy from Brooklyn who was too dumb not to run away from a fight. I’m following him. But you’re keeping the outfit right?

Ma’am.

You don’t like music?

Then what are we waiting for?

I’m invisible. I’m turning into you. It’s like a horrible dream.

Remember when I made you ride the Cyclone at Coney Island?

This isn’t payback, is it?

I had him on the ropes.

AHHHHHHHHH! (yes, this scream is exactly what you think it is, but it counts)

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

I have her. Find him. (Bucky says this is Russian, which I believe is: она моя. найти его. Phonetically: ona moya. nayti yevo.)

Who the hell is Bucky?

The man on the bridge. Who was he?

I knew him.

But I knew him.

We looked for you after. My folks wanted to give you a ride to the cemetery.

How was it?

I was gonna ask…

We can put the couch cushions on the floor like when we were kids. It’ll be fun. All you gotta do is shine my shoes, maybe take out the trash. Come on.

The thing is, you don’t have to. I’m with you until the end of the line, pal.

No, I don’t!

Shut up!

You’re my mission. You’re! My! Mission!

Captain America: Civil War

Ready to comply. (Originally said in Russian: Я готов отвечить. Phonetically: Ya gotov otvechet.)

How are they? Are they good? Give me six, thank you. (Originally said in Romanian: Cum sunt? Sunt ele bune? Dă-mi șase, vă mulțumesc. This line is not 100% confirmed to be correct as the subtitles don’t translate this line. This is what I found after doing some research.)

You’re Steve. I read about you in a museum.

I wasn’t in Vienna. I don’t do that anymore.

That’s smart. Good strategy.

It always ends in a fight.

I don’t know.

I’m not gonna kill anyone.

My name is Bucky.

I don’t wanna talk about it.

What the hell is?

No.

Stop.

Stop!

Ready to comply. (Originally said in Russian: готовы подчиниться. Phonetically: gotovy podchinit'sya.)

Steve.

Your mom’s name was Sarah. You used to wear newspaper in your shoes.

What did I do?

Oh, God. I knew this would happen. Everything Hydra put inside me is still there. All he had to do was say the goddamn words.

I don;t know.

He wanted to know about Siberia. Where I was kept. He wanted to know exactly where.

Because I’m not the only Winter Soldier.

Their most elite death squad. More kills than anyone in Hydra history. And that was before the serum.

Worse.

Enough.

With these guys, he could do it. They speak 30 languages, can hide in plain sight… Infiltrate, assassinate, destabilize. They can take a whole country down in one night, you’d never see them coming.

Can you move your seat up?

We should get moving.

They’re evacuating the airport.

What the hell was that?

You couldn’t have done that earlier?

I didn’t kill your father.

We gotta go. That guy’s probably in Siberia by now.

He’s gonna tear himself in half?

What’s gonna happen to your friends?

I don’t know if I’m worth all this, Steve.

I know. But I did it.

Was that the time we used our train money to buy hot dogs?

What was her name again?

She’s gotta be a hundred years old right now.

Long enough to wake them up.

Yeah.

What the hell?

I remember all of them.

I can’t trust my own mind. So, until they figure out how to get this stuff out of my head, I think going back under is the best thing. For everybody.

Black Panther

Bucky.

Good. Thank you.

Infinity War:

Where’s the fight?

A semi-stable hundred year old man.

Not bad. For the end of the world.

God, I love this place.

They surrender?

What the hell?

Not for sale.

Steve?

Endgame:

How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.

Gonna miss you, buddy.

Sam.

Go ahead.

Bucky Barnes Deleted Scenes: The Battle at Azzano (CA: TFA)

Radio B Company, tell them we need cover!

Here they come!

Down!

The Airport Battle (CA: CW)

I gotta get me one of those.

[ateanalenn]

The Untamed / MDZS, resources post, stuff I needed as a writer

ORIGINAL POST AT DREAMWIDTH! (and updates will be there too and maybe on tumblr, if I remember)

(this is a copy paste, the formatting might not survive)

(also available on AO3)

The Untamed / MDZS, resources post, stuff I needed as a writerApr. 11th, 2020 05:46 pm ateanalennFinding info for this show / how to write about / pitfalls to avoid was a pain :( I guess that's part of having fandom on Tumblr. Since Tumblr's search function only works by selling a kidney and sacrificing a goat, I had to rely on Google. Which, not great. Anyway, useful stuff I found to understand this fandom: • MDZS on Dreamwidth: theuntamed_mdzs (active) mxtx (community focused on all the works by the author Mo Xiang Tong Xiu. Not active, but it's there) theyilingweisect (community sharing fics, meta, discussions. Not active either since jan 2020) • MDZS aka Mo Dao Zu Shi (book) aka Grandmaster of Demobnic Cultivation / The Untamed (drama) (there's also an audio drama, a manhua, a donghua, ...) - the novel's en glish fan translation at Exiled Rebels (complete ) As far as I know, this is the most popular translation, though I would like to know if anyone has another translation that they think fit best. - the drama is streaming on Netflix, Viki, WeTV & Youtube. From what I heard around, Netflix and Youtube are the most accessible, obviously, but Viki has the best subtitles (and a whole lot of annoying pubs though). I think that I heard somewhere that there are fan subtitles made, will update if I find the link again). • About names: • The Untamed: A Primer Basically an overview of what is this drama, a few spoilers (but under arrows to open so less risks to see something you didn't want to see). Useful list of titles for the main charas! (ex: Wei Wuxian:    Young Master Wei    Wei Ying (use of this name denotes “I feel affection for you”)    The Yiling Patriarch (use of this name denotes “I think you are evil”)    A-Xian / Xianxian (use of this name denotes “I am your loving older sister, have some soup”)    Lan Wangji:    Second Young Master Lan    Lan Zhan (use of this name denotes “I feel affection for you”)    Hanguang Jun (use of this name denotes “I respect you, and you are also famously very beautiful”)    Wangji (use of this name denotes “I am your older brother and I wish you’d make a friend”) ) • Another primer tumblr by sonickitty with a few where-do-I-find links • Alexandra Rowland explains What Is The Untamed twitter (with pics) • How Ancient Chinese Names Work - Learn from The Untamed Detailed explanation of what's going on with the names (aka Lan Wangji, Lan Zhan, Hanguang-jun) • Dramatis Personae for Modao Zushi the book dw (another detailed who's who/names list) • Names again, Chinese/Mandarin conventions twitter (aka ex the accents aren't necessary, they're there for pronunciation and some explanation of who would use full name/shortened name) • Infographic: birth name vs courtesy name vs title vs respectful address  twitter • Quick table / honorifics guide tumblr by cleyra • Mo Dao Zu Shi | 魔道祖师 The various adaptions tumblr by gravitydefyingtears • A list of MDZS FanFic Common Misleading tumblr by kazeki • A conversation about linguistic register, Lan Wangji, and I guess Wei Wuxian can come too tumblr (pretty important text to understand how lwj speaks) • Writing Lan Wangji's speech patterns (aka say the most in the least words) and the follow up Lan Wangji moving into the lowest, most vernacular linguistic register to try and get through to Wei Wuxian tumblr by hunxi-huilai • Using "You/I" vs "Title-as-you" tumblr by hunxi-guilai • Sword names tumblr by hunxi-guilai • Honorifics: jun vs zun tumblr by hunxi-guilai • THE spreadsheet: Mo Dao Zu Shi Character Name Chart, recced by flamebyrd (of who uses what for whom) • Misc Info: • 59 slides of awesomeness by chatcolat. Who's who, plot summary, humor. Beware, so full of spoilers you'll cry if you want to keep some mystery, but! concise recap of what happens in the show to keep the timeline in mind. • Everything about those cultivation sects in ‘The Untamed’ Quick who's who of the various sects (Gusu Lan, Lanling Jin, Yunmeng Jiang, Qishan Wen, Qinghe Nie. Protip: first word is basically the location, second is the sect/clan name). • Reference for Modao Zushi Writers: Chinese terms ao3. "This is to provide a reference for writers who are unfamiliar with Chinese literary conventions or terms used in canon." • Resource list dw: Libitina's twitter links for Meta, Linguistics, Costumes, Food, Edits, Art. • Actual drama title vs English drama title twitter • How "Mo Dao Zu Shi" became "Chen Qing Ling" became "The Untamed" tumblr by hunxi-guilai • Very necessary meta about why the novel/extras seems to have so many sex consent issues and how translating to English potentially gives a very different overall feel to the scene (ex: ExR = "you're too much, you're way too much" becomes chiaki_himura's "you're good, you're too good", becomes bigbadredpanda's "you're amazing, you're the best"). Also, Chinese language enables to shorten sentences which makes stuff implied, 's your job to see context clues.) • hunxi guilai's master list of various detailed topics re-Chinese language/customs tumblr • "Wangxian" is such a clever portemanteau tumblr by untamedconnotations • Song Lan didn’t just say that Xiao Xingchen was “nice-looking,” he basically said that Xiao Xingchen was smokin’ hot except like, in two characters and blanketed with literary respectability. tumblr by hunxi-guilai (this is only relevant because xxc IS the most beautiful person, really and needs to be protected at all cost) • The Unclean Realm isn't "unclean" has in dirty/bad, it's most probably to show the difference of way of cultivating vs the other sects tumblr by hunxi-guilai • WuJi, the love song's fan translation tumblr by iarrod • Timeline: • 59 slides of awesomeness by chatcolat. Who's who, plot summary, humor. Beware, so full of spoilers you'll cry if you want to keep some mystery, but! concise recap of what happens in the show to keep the timeline in mind. • A google spreadsheet, via mihanada's GoDC timeline wip (Year/Event/Notes/Ages/...)     • MDZS Timeline, that meta AO3 post on speed by TheWickling. Useful if you want all the details, a bit difficult to navigate/understand when you just landed in the fandom. Still very useful. • And the sequel: On Character's Ages  ao3 "A collection of meta on the possible ages for different  characters in MDZS and what ages they would be during key events in the  timeline." • Modao Zushi, birthdates/timeline dw Dirthdates starting with 0 = wwx's birth year. Succinct & useful. • Maps • Fan made mdzs / untamed worldmap twitter • Places of The Untamed - Where They Are in The Real World • IRL sect locations reddit • Google Map of clan locations in Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation tumblr • Lotus Pier really is one of the most underrated but beautiful places. twitter • Gifsets and images: - Mo Dao Zu Shi / The Untamed drama character guide! deviantart picture = name, who's who in pics. - The Untamed sect sigils - In Which LWJ Gives Not A Single Shit, A Thread #LanWangji #WangXian #cql #TheUntamed SPOILERS for most of the show twitter - The various stages of hairstyles + accessories twitter - SongXiao are in love, got married, are living happily ever after,(FITE ME) twitter by shenweiss - Realizing that wwx is wearing lwj's silk undershirt and the follow up: Qiren's face when he notices xD twitter - gingersnapwolves's Untamed tumblr tag - thewickling's mdzs tumblr tag - hunxi-guilai's cql tumblr tag - compilation of wangxian just being gay and making everyone feel like a third wheel twitter by weiwxngji - wwx swoons a lot and he's gorgeous twitter - Alexandra Rowland explains What Is The Untamed twitter (with pics) - grinding ink requires great patience, often represents that one is willing to wait for another’s feelings twitter - sad compilation of wangxian gazing into each other’s eyes that no one asked for, you’re welcome twitter - This frontal view of Wei Wuxian laying on Lan Wangji’s lap is everything. twitter - Lotus Pier really is one of the most underrated but beautiful places. twitter - Sometimes you see something, a picture, a video, just a snippet of a short moment, and you SEE the love. twitter - CQL’s working title was hot murder husbands twitter (this is amazing) - Lan Wangji just looks a thousand times more intimidating with golden eyes twitter - #TheUntamed’s spinoff webmovie #FatalJourney posters twitter (yessss, nhs, one of my fav) - Don’t you love how exactly 0.5 seconds of this video is Lan Zhan explaining that only spouses are allowed to touch the headband and the rest of the entire 2(!) minutes is a complication of Wei Ying touching it anyways... he said I wanna marry you. twitter • Fic Recs: - DW guest Post: Untamed Fic Starter Pack (a few fics for each subject (ex post canon, juniors centric, ...) - Twitter thread starting with Alexandra Rowland asking for fluffy MDZS/Untamed fic recs. (good new-fandom starter too!) - That twitter thread collecting a list of lady-centric Untamed/MDZS fics Which, good, because as much as I love the fandom, once again women don't exactly come out on top. How many are still alive at the end? I can think of one previously Jin sect lady, but that's it on top of my head, soooo. - Libitina also has posted a lot of mdzs fic recs dw - A "they're students in lockdown and socially distancing" WangXian ficlet tumblr by besanii And bonus: a capybara enjoying a good scritch because I love those dog-sized guinea pigs, seriously, that twitter account is my daily dose of cuteness Also, have some guinea pig on a cutesy bridge PS: I thought that this would be fast because I didn't have that much info to collect at one place, buuuut. It's been 5 hours and it turns out that I did lol.   Still, if you have anything else of potential interest, don't hesitate to leave a comment, please :D

[darkpoisonouslove]

“I Know You’re the One Who Can Spark Eternal Joy in My Life”

Summary: Welcoming Valtor home after a long day feels like the right thing to do with her life and even though there are still obstacles around them that do not spark joy, Griffin knows it is her place to be his family. And that is exactly what she wants to be. Part 7 of “Sparks of Life”.

This may have been inspired by the meme about Marie Kondo but hey, if it sparks joy, who am I to argue, right? XD

Griffin heard the ring, her heart doing that little jump just like the elevator did right before it stopped at the thought of Valtor coming home. And it wasn’t even six o’clock yet when she glanced at the corner of the tablet. She’d just tapped on the video she’d wanted to watch but she couldn’t care less about it now that he’d arrived, and unusually early at that. He was spending more time at home with her lately and while she could never complain about it and was absolutely ecstatic to have more of him to herself, she couldn’t help but wonder what had prompted the change in routine.

She left the tablet on the coffee table, her efforts at pausing the video unsuccessful but she could always rewind when she came back to it. That was of no consequence to her mind that had only one thought left in it and it was all woven from the want to be engulfed in his arms.

He seemed just as impatient as her, for he was right there in front of her when she got up from the couch and turned to meet him, his arms finding her waist instantly and drawing her into him, prompting her to wrap hers around his neck and hold on tight. There was nothing she’d love to do more and she could spend all her life in his embrace so she saw no problem when he only pressed himself closer into her and drew her into a kiss, his lips on hers the perfect way to say hello.

Their tongues came out to play as well and she was soon holding back a moan, the strain in her he could feel making him pull back, for they both knew just where this would end if he didn’t. And while she had no problems with that, she’d like to get to see him first, ask about his day and tell him about hers, get the chance to melt in his softness before she did the same in his passion. Not that she didn’t want that, but she craved the emotional closeness and the connection they had out of the bedroom too. She craved everything as long as he’d be there to share it with her.

She took a deep breath before letting the smile take over her face and opening her eyes. “Welcome home,” she said, her voice small from the lack of oxygen but it only made the words sound more intimate, like they were only meant for the two of them which really fit since that was exactly the case. The penthouse was their home and theirs only and she loved how secluded it was, raising above all the other buildings around like a tribute to their solitude and they were in their own universe. It was all she wanted. So she made sure to greet him properly every time he came home – with a smile and a hug–that was accompanied by a kiss more often than not–and words to tell him how glad she was to see him if her actions hadn’t already done that.

“My day was just made,” Valtor said as he moved his hand to cup her cheek, the other one still wrapped around her but in expression of affection still and not in a desperate attempt to make sure she wouldn’t slip away. They’d been there but she was glad to see the sinking fear disappear to make space for the open tenderness he was touching her with now. “I’ll never understand how you can do that with just one sentence,” he said as he looked at her, his eyes full of deep gratitude and a small smile pulling at his mouth. It was a breathtaking sight, especially when she knew it was just gentle instead of timid.

“I think your own heart might play a part here as it’s beating with love for me,” she said, tugging playfully at the lapel of his coat. He hadn’t even taken that off in his hurry to hug her. “It gives me the power to work all this magic that has you so entranced,” she said, leaning in slightly, their lips almost touching again, before she pulled back, giving him a knowing smirk as he followed her movement, striving to reach her. They’d get too tangled in each other, though, if she didn’t move now. “You must be so hot,” she said, her tone all laced of mischief despite her own best intentions but she couldn’t help it. The opportunity was too good for her to pass up on it. “Perhaps you should take this off,” she said as she tugged at his coat only to let go of it and step away the moment he released her to let her pull it off of him. She’d love to help but the moment she started undressing him, they’d lose dinner, not to mention any conversation they could have if she just stayed focused. There was enough time for everything now that he’d come home earlier than normally.

Valtor gave her a disappointed look as she sat back down on the couch but was quick to remove his coat and, after throwing it carelessly over the furniture, join her.

“What are you watching?” he asked as the sound from the video finally registered for him and he looked at the tablet, his eyes reading over the subtitles while Japanese filled the penthouse as she settled for just observing him for a moment, adoring the sight of his concentration, especially after the long day she knew he’d had. He was overdramatic at times but he didn’t lie about how stressful and tedious his job was and she admired him for the willpower to keep at it as she knew she couldn’t have done it if she’d been him. She had paperwork, of course, but her students were what kept her spark alive when it came to her job. So she was even more flattered he was taking serious interest in what she was doing and putting effort into learning more about it when all he probably wanted was to curl up at her side and let the world melt away. She knew she wouldn’t be opposed to that.

“I’m watching a video about Marie Kondo,” she said. “She’s a tidying expert and an organizational consultant.” That was about as much as she’d gotten from the video before he’d come home and interrupted. “What? Faragonda told me about her philosophy and I got curious,” she explained when he gave her a questioning look, which, frankly, wasn’t misplaced. The parts of her life that were a mess she preferred that way, and the others were organized already as could be evidenced in the books lined up on her shelves and the order in her closet. But she was glad Faragonda was taking steps in freeing herself from old burdens, as the method she was now following wasn’t only about organizing but about helping you let go of things that don’t bring joy in your life anymore. And she was thrilled to see Faragonda finally starting to realize she needed to move on from situations and people that didn’t need her and didn’t deserve her and her efforts.

“I’m surprised you haven’t gotten the books,” Valtor said as his eyes remained on the screen in front of him, though she couldn’t blame him, considering that that was the only way for him to understand what was happening in the video. He had a few other languages besides English mastered but Japanese was not amongst them so he needed to rely on the subtitles. Something she was surprised had not irritated him already since he usually could understand whatever he was watching even without help from those–she might have exploited his abilities to get him to translate some poetry for her, more for the experience of hearing his voice forming the soft words rather than for the content itself–so as a rule, he wasn’t fan of having to have his attention focused on them.

“I wanted to see if I’d find something for myself in this idea,” Griffin said. “I hardly have any space left on the shelves,” she added when he looked at her, ready to argue that money was not the problem. She could argue with that but they’d mostly reached a consensus on the topic these days and there was no point in further debating except for a reminder or clarification here or there when something brought it up.

“Are we in need of another remodeling?” Valtor asked, a smirk on his lips that she did not quite appreciate, considering what they’d had to go through when they’d been adding a kitchen that should have already been there but for some reason it’d been missing. There’d been people all around the penthouse and their secluded paradise had been overtaken. She had no desire to repeat the experience even if it meant she’d get more book storage space. She’d just have to make do with what she had, perhaps donate some books that she didn’t need anymore. That could be her own attempt at tidying up. “Or does that not spark joy in you?” Valtor asked, smirking at her displeased expression as he very well knew the answer. “Your little trick before did not spark joy in me,” he continued, still playful but there was a heavy layer of seriousness that did not allow his voice to rise quite to the level of mirth it’d been at before and it made her heart sink as if it’d been filled with lead.

“No?” Griffin asked, her bewilderment as overexaggerated as she could make it in her attempt to get the joy back to him. “Does this spark joy then?” she asked as she leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his lips, not quite a peck but not too deep a kiss either as they were still in danger of getting too lost in the world of each other’s beings. It was a constant threat with them and while it didn’t scare her, she wouldn’t have the time to pay any attention to his thoughts if she let herself succumb to it every time she felt it tugging at her.

Valtor hummed, turning to her now, both on a physical level and attention wise, his hands on her again but not before he’d made sure the noise from the video was stopped so that it wouldn’t distract them. It looked like his will was gone all to work and he couldn’t find it in himself to hold back from touching as much as he wanted.

“What about this?” Griffin asked as she kissed his cheek, trying to hold both their attention where it needed to be but failing miserably with his hand on her thigh and the other one tracing her neckline, not to mention the low sound of confirmation that left him and drew her to his neck. “And this?” she asked, her own voice dropping as she did the same and moved downwards, her lips kissing at his throat only to feel the vibration of a quiet moan move through her whole body. And she was gone, just like that, his eagerness too infectious for her to stand a chance against it.

He pulled her closer and she let him, her hands moving to the buttons of his shirt to get more skin exposed to the caresses of her lips as it was his mouth moving over her now, and his hands joined it too, roaming over her body and pulling at her to have her straddling his lap. And he would’ve gotten her right where he wanted her if the ringing of his phone hadn’t interrupted.

Valtor sighed, moving away from her quickly and nearly shoving her farther from him but she couldn’t get offended when she knew he was doing it to protect her from the crushing burden of his job. “This does not spark joy,” he muttered as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, the device almost flying out of his grip at the jerky motion. He froze for a moment as he looked at the screen before turning to look at her, the apology acute in his gaze. “I have to take this,” he said and got up, heading for the fading light coming from the balcony.

Griffin followed him with her gaze, her mind racing with the puzzle pieces it’d been given. His reaction made sense as he hated it when work got in their way but there was something else there. And the few letters she’d seen from the caller’s ID were making her jump to conclusions. It wasn’t like him to spoil the surprise if he was planning one, but on the other hand, getting a call from the jewelry store could mean many things. Of course, after Faragonda’s countless remarks, her mind immediately hopped in engagement territory but it could be anything else. And she wouldn’t mind, the monad necklace he’d given her still one of her most treasured possessions. Yet, her heart still accelerated dangerously at the thought of him putting a ring on her finger to make the union between them official.

She was his, completely and without question. And she didn’t need silver or gold, or a signature to know it and be happy. He could very well never feel ready to ask her if she’d be his for the rest of her life as she knew how much he feared the potential for rejection a question like that carried and she understood completely. She was okay with it as she was secure enough in the feelings between them not to need him to prove anything when all the evidence was right there, captured in the ice of his eyes every time he looked at her. And even despite that she couldn’t help but wander through the fantasy of getting to call him her husband and hear him call her his wife. It wasn’t something she’d been able to imagine before she’d fallen in love with him, and she couldn’t imagine it with anyone else even if she wanted to. And it was yet another confirmation that she didn’t need him to put a ring on her finger and she would never pressure him to do it. But it did spark joy to think about it, and think that it was possible. One day, when he could find it in himself to reach without fear for what was waiting for him. She truly wanted it, wanted to see him believe in their love the way she did and not let the three monsters that he’d called family and the fear they’d instilled in him cripple him anymore. Because she knew that was the only thing standing between them and being an official family. But she was his family anyway, and she would always be, bound to him by her feelings that were far more powerful than anything else he could ever find.

Valtor ended the call soon, almost in sync with the sun sinking in the horizon to disappear as if it’d never been there. And the same happened with her inner debate now that he was free of anything else and that invited her to capture his attention once again.

Griffin slipped out on the balcony herself, earning a smile from him the instant she was back in his world and the welcome made her want to never leave which was exactly her intention. It was why she kept following him and waited for him to come find her after all the obstacles they’d been through. Their road hadn’t been easy but there was nothing easier, nothing more natural to her than loving him.

Valtor offered her a hand and pulled her into him again when she took it, wrapping her in his embrace once more which was the only logical course to take now that there wasn’t anything to keep him away from her. “Sorry,” he said, looking away as if it was too hard to handle the reassurance in her gaze that he didn’t need to be. And he didn’t need to be but it wasn’t really him who decided how he felt so she wouldn’t judge him for wanting to be considerate. If that was what the apology was for. “This won’t be forever,” he said, making it clear he was talking about anything else but work because as much as he himself wanted it, he couldn’t pull himself away from that. No more than he could leave her. And she didn’t understand but she tried to respect it just like she did with every other part of him as she loved all of them, all of his being.

“This will be,” Griffin said and leaned in to let their lips meet again and join together in a show of their love. And there were no stars in the sky yet, but the endless darkness was a better witness anyway with how utterly inconsequential it was to the happiness they shared.

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z 019

Not a hoax, not a dream, not an alternate reality!   Goku finally meets King Kai in this episode.

Yeah, I’d be surprised too, if I were Goku.

When Goku first got here, he thought the monkey was King Kai, but no, it’s just King Kai’s pet Bubbles.   Bubbles, of course, was named after Michael Jackson’s pet chimpanzee.   I looked him up and apparently he’s still alive, although Jackson had to turn him over to an animal sanctuary in 2003 because he was getting to big and strong to keep as a pet.    I never knew this before.   I had heard of chimp owners getting viciously attacked and losing fingers, eyes, and faces, but I didn’t understand how it ever got to that point.   Apparently the chimpanzees that everyone thinks are cute are just young chimpanzees.    The adults are much bigger and more aggressive, to the point where humans just can’t control them.     At least in the case of Bubbles (the real-world chimp, I mean), it took twenty years for him to get to that point.  

Maybe that’s why people think they can keep them as pets in the first place.    They don’t realize that chimpanzees have such long lifespans.    A cat or a dog might die of old age before getting anywhere close to 20, but a chimpanzee is just reaching adulthood.    That’s nuts.   I’m 42.   If I adopted a baby chimpanzee right now, I’d be in my 60′s right around the time he’s old enough to dismember me and anyone else who tried to come to my aid.   That’s just insane.   No one needs to be doing that, I don’t care who you are.    I’ll bet you a dollar MJ probably waited too long to give up Bubbles, too.   It’s probably more like fifteen years and then you’re in moral peril.   

Like, big cats, that’s another stupid thing.  On paper, they pretty much act like house cats, maybe.   Even if that were true 100% of the time, they’re still huge.   A house cat will claw you for no good reason.   They’re assholes, but we keep them as pets because they’re small enough that they’re not dangerous.   If a lion got a little overeager at playtime, he’d probably disembowel you and not even realize he’d done it.  Oh he might feel real sad about it afterward, but you’re still dead.    I’ve encountered enough sketchy dogs in my lifetime that I wouldn’t want to mess around with anything bigger and less domesticated.  

You know what?   Horses are kind of bullshit too.   People act like they’re totally fine and you can sit on top of one and nothing’ll happen, but that’s insane.   Christopher Reeve knew what he was doing and look what happened to him.   Forget riding them, I don’t trust their giant teeth.   People hold food up to their mouths like it’s no big deal, but I bet a horse could bite your finger off and not even care.   You get stitches and have to re-learn how to hold a pen, and Mr. Ed probably gets put out to stud because “You just didn’t handle him right,” or whatever.   No.   Not me, pal.    I don’t hate horses.    They’re beautiful animals.   Steel Ball Run was great.   I just don’t want to be anywhere near one, for the same reason I don’t want to be anywhere near a minefield. 

Sorry, I got off on a tangent.   My point is that Michael Jackson took Bubbles to Japan for a world tour in 1987, and Wikipedia says Bubbles drank tea with the mayor of Osaka, so I’m betting that had something to do with King Kai’s pet monkey.    But I trust King Kai to have a pet monkey, because he’s super strong and Bubbles seems pretty chill.

Where was I?   Oh, right, King Kai’s super into puns, which seems to be a stable of Japanese humor, probably because there’s so many homonyms in the language.   None of this translates very well into English, which is why the subtitles rely on rhymes instead of puns, or just really, really bad puns.    The Funimation Dub just fell back on corny jokes, like “What’s the difference between a jailer and a jeweler?”   There’s puns incorporated into the jokes, but from what I can tell the Japanese version is strictly into wordplays without setups or punchlines.  

Goku has to fake laugh a lot around King Kai, because he threatens to not train him unless he has a sense of humor.   This is why puns suck, by the way.   Used sparingly, and with great care, they can be very funny, but too many people try to use brute force in place of comedic timing.   “Hey, baby, do you have 11 protons?   Because you’re sodium fine?”   The words “sodium” and “so damn” sound almost nothing alike, but they share exactly four letters, so someone decided it barely qualifies as a wordplay, but we all know that it really doesn’t.   The “joke” is actually that it’s not a very good joke at all, since the setup takes forever to execute, and it telegraphs the punchline, which requires a lot of mental gymnastics to even interpret as a punchline.   It doesn’t provoke laughter so much as a feeling of “Oh, I guess that is vaguely a word play, so it’s mildly clever.”    The real satisfaction of telling this is to irritate people.     You can either laugh at the joke and pretend it’s funny, or you can no-sell the joke and everyone gets a tickle out of how “humorless” you are, when no, it’s the joke’s fault for not being funny.   

What makes King Kai a funny character is that he’s the gag.   Humor is about reversing expectations, like when you read an anime liveblog and the guy starts ranting about how you can’t trust horses.   Goku was sent to train under this guy because he’s like the god of all the Kamis on every planet in the universe.    He’s supposed to be the best possible instructor there is.   Then Goku runs all this way to meet him and all he wants to do is talk about puns.    He sounds exactly like the narrator (or, if you’re watching it in English, he sounds like Goku doing a funny voice, which is also kind of freaky when you think about it.)  

But the biggest punchline is that he’s not even that powerful.  Oh, he’s stronger than Goku, sure, but the Saiyans heading for Earth are still stronger, so Goku will have to surpass King Kai just to stand a chance.   And it took Goku over six months just to get here.   He’s got 158 days to close the gap, and he just wasted ten minutes on a free comedy lesson.   The world is going to end.    But not yet.   One sells watches, the other watches cells.

First thing’s first, Goku needs to get acclimated to the intense gravity of King Kai’s planet.  As small as the planet is, the gravity is ten times that of Earth, which is why Goku is having such a hard time moving around.   But the other Saiyans all grew up on a planet with the same gravity, so it’s just as well that he get used to this now.   King Kai tells him to chase Bubbles around until he can catch him, and once he pulls that off, he’ll be ready to train in earnest.   

Goku struggles at first, but then he remembers to take off his weighted training clothes to make things easier.    He wasn’t even wearing those when he died, so it’s kind of weird that he got to keep them.   

Goku also asks for a meal, since he hasn’t eaten since Princess Snake’s place.  King Kai finds it unusual that a dead man would be hungry, which sort of makes me wonder about all the other Saiyans who have died.   Do they hunger, even without their bodies?   Best not to think about it. 

King Kai tells him to put his weighted gear back on, since it’ll make the training more effective.   Goku isn’t keen on that idea, but King Kai explains to him how dangerous the Saiyans are, and how he’ll need to do whatever it takes to defeat them.

But Goku’s not worried because he’s a Saiyan himself.   That... hasn’t exactly helped him so far, but I like his confidence.

Meanwhile, back on Earth, Piccolo is still training Gohan.    Gohan finally manages to score a blow on Piccolo, so I wanted to make note of it here.   Good hustle, Son.

BEST GREEN DAD

BEST GREEN UNCLE DAD

BEST GREEN DAD

BEST GREEN DAD

BEST GREEN DAD

In spite of Piccolo threatening to murder his father, Gohan tells him that Goku always used to say that the current Piccolo isn’t as bad a guy as the previous King Piccolo.   Gohan agrees with that sentiment.

So Piccolo gets all tsundere on him.    “I’m totally gonna kill your dad, b-baka!”

Back on King Kai’s planet, Goku indeed manages to catch Bubbles.    Even with the weighted training clothes on.   Good hustle, Son.

King Kai is impressed.   To overcome the gravity in just one day is remarkable in itself.

He even entertains the hope that Goku might be able to master the Kaio-ken technique.   But those beads of sweat on his head suggest that we’re a long way from a guarantee.

[pop-punklouis]

hey hope!! i’ve completely run out of things to watch recently and was wonderinf if you had any recs of movies and tv shows??

HI! 

It’s your lucky day because I have found myself in a hole of watching many new things lately that I’ve more or less found enjoyable so hopefully you will too? lol

1. Russian Doll:  Nadia, a young woman who is on a journey to be the guest of honor at a party in New York City. But she gets caught in a mysterious loop as she repeatedly attends the same event and dies at the end of the night each time – only to awaken the next day unharmed as if nothing had happened.

(I know I’m late to the party with that one, but it is quite literally one of the best comedy-dramas I’ve seen in a long while, not to mention Natasha Lyonne, the ultimate babe, stars in it. It is, blatantly, obvious that the script was written by women (thank god) and it has a cool, mind-trip twist at the end that’ll have you guessing what actually was happening the entire time. Super easy to binge!! 10/10)

2. Perfume:  When a woman is found murdered with scent glands excised from her body, a detective probes a group of friends who attended boarding school with her.

(A German mystery-crime-thriller that is way too convoluted and intertwined to know the real culprit of the grisly yet complex murders until the few minutes of the last episode. It has an incredibly intriguing script with intricate details and dialogue. Pleasantly surprised by how solid the entire storyline and characters were. TW though!! There are scenes of obscene sex, implied rape, domestic abuse, and sexual assault. So be careful if those things trigger you. Watching it in German with English subtitles is the way to go, though. Trust me.)

3. Handsome Devil:  Two opposites, a loner and the top athlete become friends at a rugby-obsessed boarding school, and the authorities test their friendship.

(An irish coming-of-age LGBT film that, again, pleasantly surprised me with how well it was executed underneath the guise of an overly cliche storyline. It’s winning, compelling, and quite moving with how it tackles individuality in teens. It’s just a great film that takes tropes and turns them on their head by transforming the characters in their own way. Not to give too much away but the talk one of the boys have with the English professor on the rugby field at night is so, so important as an open dialogue.) 

4. Dumplin’:  The plus-size, teenage daughter of a former beauty queen signs up for her mum’s pageant as a protest that escalates when other contestants follow in her footsteps, revolutionising the pageant and their small Texas town.

(As you can probably guess this film is an emotionally-impactful conversation about self-acceptance that rides on the back of societal expectations of young women all tied together in a very heart-warming coming-of-age drama. Also there’s loads of Dolly Parton music. What else is there to say)

5. The Lobster:  In a dystopian society, single people must find a mate within 45 days or be transformed into an animal of their choice.

(Isn’t a new watch, but I was reminded of it recently. Just an extended Black Mirror episode, pretty much. It’s odd. It’s bizarre. It’s engaging. It’s a lot of things, and they are great.)

6. Shirkers:  In 1992 teenager Sandi Tan shoots Singapore’s first road movie with her enigmatic American mentor, Georges, who then absconded with all of the footage. The 16 mm film is recovered 20 years later, sending Tan, who is now a novelist living in Los Angeles, on a personal odyssey in search of Georges’ footprints.

(One of my favorite documentaries I’ve seen in a while, mainly because it doesn’t exactly feel like a documentary. It feels like you’re privvy to the incredibly frustrating, disheartening, and determined story of friendship, women-bound creativity, youth, and dishonesty when it comes to the mystery of where and why Georges disappeared. It’s also empowering in a way to see the transition of these young women reclaiming their lives after such betrayal.)

7. Grace & Frankie:  For as long as they can recall, Grace and Frankie have been rivals. Their one-upmanship comes crashing to a halt, however, when they learn that their husbands have fallen in love with each other and want to get married. As everything around the ladies is coming apart, the only thing they can really rely on is each other.

(I’ve been living under a rock, sue me. This show is fanfuckingtastic. Just watch it. Just binge it. Just do it.)

8. Voyeur:  Gay Talese investigates Gerald Foos, a Colorado motel owner who spies on his guests. Using a carefully constructed platform in the motel’s attic, Foos documents his guests most private moments, from the mundane to the shocking.

(Just a frustratingly and horrifyingly sad and strange recollection of two men who act as an incredibly interesting character study if nothing else. Recommend)

9. Some Freaks:  A charming romance develops between a boy with one eye and an overweight girl, though when she loses her weight after going to college, their relationship is tested in devastating ways they never dreamed would happen.

(….. I still don’t know how I feel about this movie. I’ve watched it twice, once alone and once with a friend, and I’m still conflicted on my lasting thoughts about the film and its message. It’s definitely something I suggest watching, at least, to come to your own conclusions about how it made you feel. It’s just. uncomfortable in the strangest of ways, and I just need more people to converse about it with lmao)

10. The Kindergarten Teacher:  A teacher sees such great promise in her 5-year-old student that she goes to unreasonable lengths to protect his talent.

(I watched this film on a whim one day while off from work, and I was pleasantly surprised by its depth and heartbreaking tendencies. This film does not evoke anything but unsettled feelings and yearning for both the young boy and the teacher. Many people tend to gloss over the fact that this film does so much more than its superficial narrative. it opens such a bigger conversation into what absence and neglect of personal creativity and art through someone’s marriage and family can cause them to in-turn have an unhealthy obsession with wanting to keep a child’s love/talent for art alive. Haunting but great film.)

11. Mr. Roosevelt:  A struggling LA-based comedian goes home to Austin, Texas, when a family member becomes ill and finds herself in the awkward position of staying with her ex and his amazing new girlfriend.

(Friend found this hidden-gem on Netflix, and it’s such a quirky, comforting, easy-watch that I miss a lot in indie films. It’s progressive and weird in all the right ways, and it leaves you with a cozy feeling inside once the film reaches its end.)

12. Queer Eye Season 3

(You know the drill just more feel-good reality-television makeover that makes all of us a little bit happier about humanity’s ability to be kind)

13. Happy Anniversary:  On their three-year anniversary, Molly and Sam are at a crossroads and need to decide whether to move forward or call it quits.

(Another hidden gem found on Netflix that I ended up thoroughly enjoying. It comes across as a real, genuine, non-exaggerated look at the inside of a couple’s relationship. It’s candid, fun, witty in dialogue, and heartwarming towards the end. I’ll admit I got a bit misty eyed at 1 AM lol also the dude who plays jean-ralphio is one of the mains so c’mon.)

14. Class Rank:  When her class rank threatens her college plans, an ambitious teen convinces a nerdy peer to run for the school board to abolish the ranking system.

(Listen up, I watched this film because I was under the impression that it was going to be a b-rated teen film I could be amused by, but it ended up being a sorta cute story that I enjoyed a lot more than I probably should’ve RIP. Give it a shot).

15. Cam:  A camgirl has her principles, until a mysterious woman who looks just like her takes over her channel.

(Don’t take the general critic review to heart and watch the film, yourself. It’s. a ride. It definitely gave me chills as much as it made me uncomfortable. A thriller with twists and uneasiness at every corner. Just a real creepy look into AI, especially in industries like the camgirl industry. I do want the girl’s play dungeon tho rip)

[marginalgloss]

a glass bell

This book is a short collection of stories by Stefan Zweig. There are only four of them collected here. I’ll describe each one in turn. 

The Invisible Collection describes a visit to the home of an old blind man by an antiques dealer. The dealer arrives expecting to get a look at a set of valuable prints at the home of an old customer. But when he arrives, he finds himself complicit in a sort of ruse with the blind man’s family. The prints have been sold long ago. The pages in the folios still so lovingly turned by the owner’s hands are blank. The story has the subtitle ‘An Anecdote from the Years of Inflation in Germany’ — on that level, the metaphor is perhaps a little too direct. Like money, those pages have a value which essentially depends on a sort of collective delusion as to their worth. The story has that heightened quality of anguish that is common to Zweig’s work. It is essentially an overwritten, over-dramatised rendition of a poetic image; but the image is haunting regardless. 

Twenty-Four Hours in a Woman’s Life is a little more developed. It is tempting to call it cinematic, given that it is so driven with the power of a direct, silent image — in this case a figure glimpsed repeatedly from across a street, or across a room. That said, as with all the stories in this collection it uses a frame narrative. After a minor scandal in a country hotel, an older woman recounts to the narrator an event from years ago. She tried to help a man, a gambler, who had lost a huge amount of money; she ended up falling for him; he ran away; she couldn’t stop him gambling. As a conventional story it is perhaps the most complete thing here. It is also madly overwrought. Zweig was popular in his lifetime but he was not always well-liked, and in this story it’s easy to see why. Every emotion is heightened to breaking point. 

Incident on Lake Geneva is comparatively slight, and highly restrained. It is not much more than ten pages long. In the year 1918, a naked man is found by a fisherman, clinging to a set of broken spars; when he is brought ashore, only the ex-manager of the local hotel can speak to him in his native Russian. He is a nameless conscripted soldier who somehow became separated from his regiment, and is entirely lost. It is unclear how exactly he came to be on Lake Geneva — it seems he picked west when he should have wandered east. At any rate he is stranded in neutral Switzerland — he cannot leave without traversing other non-neutral countries. He is distraught and, in the end, he drowns himself in the lake. The story is a bleak, minimal thing. It concludes on a stark image: ‘…a cheap wooden cross was placed on his grave, one of those little crosses marking the fate of nameless men that cover our continent from end to end.’

A Game of Chess is perhaps one of Zweig’s most famous stories. (Oddly, it has had various titles in English under various translators: ‘The Royal Game’, ’A Chess Story’, ‘Chess: a Novel’ or sometimes simply ‘Chess’.) The narrator is on a ship bound for Buenos Aires when he discovers that a famous chess grandmaster named Czentovic is on board. Czentovic’s story is well-known: he was the uneducated son of a poor peasant when his matchless talent for the game became apparent. The narrator is fascinated by this imposing, uncouth figure, and in an effort to draw him into a game he falls in with an arrogant passenger wealthy enough to put up enough cash to draw Czentovic’s attention. The two of them challenge him as a team, and they are almost beaten when they draw the attention of a third — a nervous stranger named Dr B who has his own uncanny gift for the game. He claims not to have played for twenty-five years, and his advice seems to come from a place of desperation, but he seems like the only one capable of defeating Czentovic. Soon enough he tells his own story. 

Dr B was resident in Austria when the Nazis annexed that country. He was taken prisoner by the Gestapo, who believed he was keeping information from them regarding the old Austrian monarchy; being an otherwise respectable middle-class citizen, he was kept under arrest in the relative comfort of a hotel room. But with nobody to talk to and nothing to read or watch or do, his solitary confinement became tortuous. It is a haunting picture of isolation:

‘I lived like a diver in a glass bell in the black ocean of silence, a diver who guesses that the cable connecting him with the world above is severed and he will never be drawn back up from the soundless deep.’

The most affecting image here is not the darkness or the silence — if those can be called images — but the glass bell. The thing which, in spite of everything around it, keeps us aware that there is some distinction between the self and the void. It is from the awareness of this distinction that the pain arrives.

One day Dr B finds solace. He steals a book from the coat pocket of an officer which turns out to be a book of chess problems. At first he is disappointed, not having any pieces or a board, but eventually he becomes fully proficient in playing the game entirely in his head. For a while he becomes happy and mentally stronger — but he cannot rid himself of his unspoken obsession with chess. The 150 problems in the book soon become exhausted, and to maintain his interest he is forced to play against himself. 

‘If black and white are one and the same person, a preposterous situation is produced in which a single mind is supposed both to know something and not to know it, so that its white self should, by self-command, forget all the aims and intentions of its black self a minute earlier. The premise for such dual thinking is a totally split consciousness, with the brain’s functions being switched on and off like a mechanical apparatus. Wanting to play chess against oneself is thus as much of a paradox as wanting to jump over one’s own shadow.’ 

Dr B describes the effect as akin to a split personality. But it is not simply a duality — to compute every one of the many alternative moves effectively requires a multiplication into countless simultaneous selves. The strain becomes too much. After a violent attack on a guard, he ends up in a hospital. Eventually, with some help from a benevolent doctor, he is released. He leaves Austria and tries to forget about chess entirely. 

A Game of Chess was the last story Zweig ever wrote. He and his wife had been living in exile in South America during the second world war; a day after posting the manuscript to his publishers, they committed suicide. It is hard to avoid thinking about this while reading this story. At first it seems much like most of his other stories — the format is the same, with the heart of the matter being framed as an encounter with a stranger in some marginal travelling space. But where the drama should be is only a terrible void. There are no questions of shame or moral or ethical responsibility; there is only a man kept in a room forever, slowly losing his mind.

The coda of the story is, as you might expect, a match between Dr B and Czentovic. The latter finds a weakness in B’s otherwise impregnable approach — B must play quickly. He works to the speed of his own brain, and so any kind of forced delay in between moves becomes intolerable. And so Czentovic begins to take longer and longer to move until B begins to become confused. Errors are forced from his opponent. He loses. And in this, we glimpse something uniquely cruel. It is not so much that Czentovic behaved in an underhand way because he couldn’t find a way to win on his own terms — that much might be expected from any cunning sportsman. The cruelty comes from the spectacle of a man finding another man’s weak point and pressing down on it with all his strength. It is a uniquely horrific sort of exploitation. But this is what competition does to us. Perhaps society relies on men like Czentovic in order to go on functioning. 

The chess games that went on in Dr B’s head were sustained by the idea of constant, total multiplicity: given that both sides were always ultimately B’s side, there could be no real process of elimination — no winners and losers. There could only be an endless selection of moves, categorised as ideal, optimal or otherwise. The confusion would become total, but he could never really defeat himself when the only opponent was his own expectations. But every game of chess that happens in the world outside B’s head must result in the ultimate submission of an individual. Czentovic understands this, and places B in a situation which he cannot survive. It is not sufficient to calculate the perfect move from every given variation when you suddenly find you have forgotten the rules.