#And also in the Bible they say don’t be afraid I have good news a bunch!

[sunkissedliterarylightofchrist]

I have no meme making skills and I have no real reason or need for this meme but it would be pretty dope to have one on hand that follows the Drake format where the first one he’s waving off goes ‘Would you love me if I was a worm?’ and the second one is he smiling and pointing at ‘Would you not be afraid if I was a Biblically accurate angel?’

[kikyan]

Hellfire

Cw: Yandere content means Yandere content y’all, dub-con, stalking, obsessive behavior, abuse of power, Father/Priest! Rollo (AS IN PRIEST NOT INCEST), masturbation, body worship, oral (GN! Reader receiving), fingering, riding, religious themes, etc

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland 

Pairing: Rollo x GN! Reader 

Words: 9.5K 

A/N: Everyone look at your calendars and do you see how in reality it isn’t a New Year but rather Halloween and this Halloween special is coming out on the day it was meant to and not almost 3 months later? Fantastic, moving on. . .enjoy :)) 

A/N2: I want to preface this by saying that this fic does have religion/religious themes. This is not an accurate portrayal either, so please do not come for me-! I did grow up catholic but in my teen years became a full atheist so anything said in this fic is me recalling my childhood. Also, I googled bible verses because I don’t remember any and they were all in Spanish so, yeah. . .enjoy! :))

The bells rang throughout Fleur City, signaling the start of Sunday mass. The crowd gathered, rushing to find any available seats to sit down on. Those unfortunate would have to stand, as they did not dare miss the mass. Father Rollo was an exceptional man, his voice and words rang throughout the church and captivated everyone who was blessed to be in his presence. He handled himself professionally, standing with an upright posture and his head was always looking ahead. He was truly a man befitting to be god's messenger. Fleur City was fortunate to have Father Rollo, he was a man adored by his people and [Reader] was no different. They were locked on Father Rollo who strutted with confidence,

 “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you” 

His eyes locked with [Reader]. They broke away from his eyes but could still feel his piercing eyes on them. 

“I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” 

Cheers erupted from within the church the moment he finished his sentence. Mass was shortly concluded after the church staff asked for donations. Plenty of people offered whatever they could spare, but it was appreciated. The church was emptying but a few others stayed behind to have a few words with Father Rollo. [Reader] stayed seated but looked over at Father Rollo from the corner of their eye. He was attending to the people and their needs, he truly was a virtuous man. They averted their gaze when they saw Father Rollo turn to them. He bid goodbye to the troubled crowd. His heeled shoes echoed loudly through the emptying church, stopping in front of [Reader]. 

“[Reader], good morning. How have you been?” 

“Oh. . good morning, Father Rollo. I’ve been well, how about you?” 

“It has been a pleasant morning so far and I can only pray that it shall remain that way. Though I will say, it’s certainly comforting knowing you’re here. I did not see you anywhere last week.” 

“R-Right. . .my apologies. It certainly wasn’t my intention to miss last week’s mass, but I’m afraid I did end up catching a cold. It has since passed and I feel quite better.” 

“ You ought to take care of yourself, [Reader]. It would be a shame if something terrible happened to you. You are, after all, our number one devotee here at the Church. It would be rather quiet and lonely if you were to go.” 

“Ha ha, it was only a cold Father Rollo, not the plague. I assure you, I am fine. Besides, I’m pretty strong enough to handle an illness.” 

[Reader] returned a smile to Rollo, whose face remained expressionless, but his eyebrows furrowed upwards in un-amusement.  

“That you are, you have God’s protection as one of his children. Alas, I must be off. Till next we meet, [Reader].” 

Rollo turned around and left the main hall, leaving [Reader] alone. It was only for a split second, but he turned around to gaze at them again. 

~ 

[Reader] was in love with Rollo. Their greatest sin that would be known to the dead once they passed. They remember their first meeting, plain as day, unlike that stormy night where this story takes place. 

There was a storm and it was pouring. The kind that people were warned to stay indoors because of the severity, yet here [Reader] was running to the middle of the town where the church lay. Their face was coated in rainwater which made it almost impossible to keep their eyes open, they were struggling to breathe, and the cold that accompanied the storm did little to help. They were staggering over to the Church. 

“[READER!] GET BACK HERE NOW AND I MIGHT FORGIVE YOU!” 

Panic rose and they didn’t dare look back, for if they did, surely it would be their last. They didn’t dare scream for help, because they knew their cries would be drowned by the storm. They finally made it to the center, running up the stairs of the cathedral, and lunged to the door. No surprise that it was locked. 

“[READER]! STOP!”

“L-LEAVE ME ALONE! SANCTUARY, PLEASE GIVE ME SANCTUARY!” 

[Reader] pleaded and began to hit the doors with all their might. The person who was no doubt chasing after them continued their pursuit. They were approaching the steps and soon, close enough to reach out to [Reader]. Just in the nick of time, the door opened enough for [Reader] to throw themselves inside. They landed on the cold stone floors and used whatever strength they had to scramble away from the door. They looked up to see a skinny man with a pale face, green-blue eyes, dark bags under his eyes, and silver hair behind the door. He was adorned in an ankle-long robe and wore black-heeled loafers. His outfit certainly was nothing too fancy, then again it was the middle of the night. 

“S-Sanctuary! P-please, give me sanctuary!” 

“What seems to be the matter-!?” 

The man turned to them but was cut from the person chasing after [Reader]. 

“[Reader]! C’mere, now.” 

The anger in his voice disappeared but there was sternness laced in his request. The silver-haired man turned to the other person. The storm showered them, and the mud that they tracked in did not go unnoticed by the silver-haired man. 

“Forgive me. My name is Rollo Flamme, I am one of the priests here. May I ask what seems to be the issue? I certainly did not expect there to be anyone leisuring out in the streets with the storm raging outside.” 

The silver-haired man, now named ‘Rollo’, asked. Rollo turned to the person outside with an unamused expression. 

“Father Rollo, pardon the intrusion. You see, that person over there is named [Reader], they're my partner. My partner also suffers from an unstable state of mind. It would be best if we returned-!?” 

“Father Rollo, is everything alright?” 

They all turned to look at an elderly woman who no doubt worked for the church. Rollo shook his head and the woman took it as a sign to approach the door. 

“Everything is alright here, there is no need for the both of you to concern yourselves over our issues. Me and [Reader] would be taking our leave-!?” 

“I think not. It would be against everything we stand for if we turned away someone who came to this holy place and asked for sanctuary. I apologize, but I’ll be asking for you to leave. Madam, take this one,” 

Rollo turned to face [Reader], 

“This one inside. Run them a warm bath and please get them a fresh set of clothes. As for you, sir. . please leave.” 

[Reader’s] partner scoffed and stepped forward, 

“I wouldn’t recommend that.” 

He stopped after Rollo’s warning. Soon, others started to arrive within the church, including the guards. [Reader’s] partner glared at Rollo but decided against their actions. They just scoffed and went outside. The church’s door was shut and locked following his departure. 

[Reader] had been sitting on the floor, trying to steady their breathing. Rollo walked over to them and helped them off their feet. 

“You’re safe here in the house of God, he cannot hurt you any longer.” 

Rollo then walked away, moving people to their station leaving [Reader] alone with the Madam. 

“Come child, let’s get you out of those freezing clothes and into a warm bath.” 

That was the first time they met Rollo. 

Several weeks later, [Reader] was still within the church and assisting in any way they could. They would sometimes join the community in cleaning the church, making meals to provide during the holidays, and so forth. They were currently helping the volunteers make bread until Rollo arrived in the kitchen. 

“Good morning, Father Rollo! How may we assist you?” 

The elderly woman asked Rollo, who turned to face her. 

“Good morning, Madam. I see you’re all hard at work assisting the church so I won’t take up too much of your time. May I speak with [Reader]?” 

At the mention of their name, [Reader] perked up. The Madam turned to them and asked, 

“Of course, is that alright?” 

[Reader] nodded, dropping their task and washing their hands. They turned to look at Rollo who nodded, 

“This way, please.” 

Rollo led the way to his office and closed the door once they were both inside. He turned to them and offered the chair across from his. 

“Sit, please. Good morning, [Reader]. How are you this morning?” 

“Father Rollo. . .great. This morning has been great so far, busy but no complaints from me yet! How about yours?” 

“Fine, busy as well but such is life as God’s servant. Now, I wanted to discuss some things with you. The man that pursued you when you arrived at our doorsteps, I presume you would be content knowing that he has since left the town. He is no longer residing in Fleur City.” 

[Reader] let out a sigh of relief, since the day they arrived at the steps of the cathedral they have been residing within it. All housing was provided by the church as well as their meals. They weren’t expected to assist with the chores at the church, but they felt it was the least they could do. They would leave to go into town occasionally but always went with a guide or a guard in case anything happened. Rollo had made arrangements for them to avoid any further issues. They weren’t aware that their partner who had tormented them relentlessly had left the city or had any plans to. 

“Thank you. . . Father Rollo. I appreciate you informing me.” 

“ Of course, now that he has permanently left Fleur City we can arrange to get you a small place within the city. Don’t worry, if you still wish to assist the Church it will be nearby and the place will be within the guard's post. The area will be carefully monitored and maintained.” 

“Father Rollo. . that’s too much. I appreciate all you have done since that day, but asking for my living quarters would be too much-!” 

“Nonsense. You requested sanctuary from the church and since then, we have worked hard to provide that for you. It’s no trouble at all, you’re a precious child of God after all and he never abandons his children.” 

Rollo faced [Reader] who was deep in thought. A place to stay without the haunting memories of their partner who could care less about them. [Reader] turned their gaze to Rollo and smiled, 

“Thank you for your kindness, Father Rollo.” 

From then, [Reader] had been living in the house provided by the church. Their place was warm and cozy, but most importantly, theirs. As days went by, [Reader] continued to attend weekly mass and stayed behind to help the community with events. Though Rollo was a well-known priest, he certainly wasn’t the only one present in the cathedral. The community had gotten together to thank the priests and were thinking of how to repay each one. The madam took the request and decided to host a small celebration for them with food and games for the community. 

The entire town was invited to attend and they did, for there was no greater honor than celebrating their townsmen. Rollo stood in the center, overseeing the event rather than partaking in it like the other priests. He saw how his colleagues engaged with the town, his eyes were trained on them. They had no problem mingling with others and taking the front while Rollo chose to stay behind. 

“Are you not enjoying yourself, Father Rollo?” 

He turned to the voice, it was [Reader]. 

“I am, but conversing with others isn’t something I do quite well at. I leave that task, to the others. What about you, [Reader]?” 

“Oh, I am as well. I too, don’t tend to mingle with others, at least not in events like this. It’s still taking me a while to adjust to being in control of my own life.” 

Rollo spared a glance at [Reader] who sadly reminisced. Their partner would often take control of the conversation and not allow [Reader] to speak. They would often leave [Reader] in social gatherings to fend for themselves and never acknowledge their feelings. After a while and per their adored partner’s request, stopped leaving their shared home. This resulted in [Reader] self-isolating.  

“I see. Often, just being in the company of someone you trust is more than enough at events like these. However I do hope that moving forward, we can heal from the past.” 

Socializing wasn’t his strong suit; if he did, it was always formal and respectful. There was no time for jokes or silly banter, that is why Rollo helped Fleur City behind the scenes. He handled all formal matters while the others tended to the city with their words and charisma. Even now, his words of comfort were formal and didn’t properly convey his feelings. 

“One day, I will join the crowd again and this time, maybe I can take you with me, Father Rollo. Oh, by the way, I have something for you.” 

Rollo faced [Reader] who was looking into their pocket. 

“Here! I know it doesn’t mean much and it’s certainly a very cheap gift, but I want to express my gratitude. Thank you for all that you’ve done, Father Rollo. Without you, I don’t think I would be here with the Madam and the Town, so thank you.” 

He looked at his hands to see a wine-red handkerchief with purple embroidery on the outer edges, his name was woven into the corner. It was a simple gift really, but the difference with most gifts that he received was that this was hand-made. Handmade with love, love from the person that he cared the most about. Rollo stammered, 

“T-Thank you, I shall keep this with me at all times. It’s lovely, [Reader].” 

[Reader] turned to see his eyes gazing deeply at theirs. It was different, unlike a small expression of gratitude with professionalism laced Rollo’s eyes betrayed him. Behind his eyes, desire and love peeked through, even if it was for a split moment. 

“Of course. . .my pleasure, Father Rollo.” 

Rollo was called shortly after to attend to a matter within the cathedral, but before parting from [Reader], he promised he would return promptly. Rollo left and attended the matter fairly quickly, but before leaving to meet up with [Reader], he walked to his office. Locking the door, he took out the handkerchief and brought it up to his nose, inhaling the sweet scent from it. 

‘[Reader]’ 

Rollo recalled the memory of when he first laid eyes on them. It wasn’t anything too special, he was just in town when he stumbled upon them. Rollo has observed throughout his life all the filth from others and their actions. [Reader] had remained a pure innocent soul devoid of any sins. 

‘ Humans are sinful creatures and  that is why we exist. . .’ 

Rollo had engraved that concept into his mind. There are 7 sins within mankind - pride, wrath, envy, gluttony, sloth, greed, and lust. Humans will lie, cheat, steal, manipulate, and take advantage of others for personal greed. In reality, society has failed itself and remains to be a stain on this world. [Reader] was a positive chum, but was a sight to behold in a world of sin. 

Rollo was walking through town, which was a rare sight considering the only place you could glance at him would be in the cathedral. He noticed hidden behind a stall that there was a child, looking confused and scared. 

‘ No doubt lost.’ 

Rollo thought to himself but did not step forward just yet. He recalled a conversation he had with the Madam, a woman whom he respected as she was not like the others either. She had devoted herself to the church and helping others after the passing of her husband.  She would confess that no human was free of sin, but that didn’t mean that they were undeserving of God’s love and a place in his kingdom. It was silly, but he remembered what he told her after, 

“You’re right Madam, everyone is worthy of God’s love. Though do not underestimate humanity’s free will, some of them choose to sin and relish in their filth.”  

The madam shook her head and reminded Rollo that he should not be so quick to place judgment on others, but it was futile. 

He recalled that memory as he saw the scene displayed in front of him, a defenseless child turning to adults begging for help. Those same ‘adults’ had brushed the child off and some even as far to push the child away. 

“P-Please, I can’t find my mommy-” 

“Not interested.” 

“Stay clear of the road! Damn, brats. . .” 

‘Are these the same people who deserve God’s love, Madam?’

Rollo began walking to the child but stopped when he noticed another individual walk up to the child, 

“My name is [Reader], are you lost? Did you lose your parents?” 

The child nodded and [Reader] lightly brushed the tears that were forming away, 

“I see, well let me try to help you find them. When did you see them last?” 

“I saw my mommy over there. . .” 

The child pointed towards the growing crowd. In theory, this mother could be anywhere but if she was observant then no doubt she noticed her child missing. [Reader] nodded and held out their hand to the child, asking permission to hold their hand. The child allowed it, letting [Reader] lead them into the crowd. The child's grip tightened, afraid to lose their newfound savior. Rollo followed them, wanting to make sure that this child wasn’t going to be kidnapped. He saw how ‘[Reader]’ was holding onto the child and stopping in the area, asking the child if they saw their mother. When the child shook their head, [Reader] would begin calling out if someone lost their child. The town was busy and [Reader’s] cries were lost to the wind, but they did not lose their determination. After half an hour, Rollo heard a woman frantically calling out what was probably the child's name as the child perked up at the mention of it. [Reader] carefully maneuvered their way across the crowd to reunite the mother and child. Rollo witnessed the scene of the mother and child holding each other close, the mother turning to [Reader] and thanking them, and [Reader] reassuring them. Rollo scoffed, one person was not enough to persuade his mind that humanity was any different. It didn’t just stop there, weeks after the incident they had another run-in with them - at a distance, of course. 

[Reader] was in the market with the intent of buying groceries, but instead offered to help the people at the stands. It was a never-ending cycle, when they finished their task another person went to them asking for help. 

‘They’re a fool, they’re being taken advantage of by the others-’ 

“I’m sorry, I wouldn’t mind helping but I haven’t finished my shopping. When I finish and if you still need help I can come back.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry [Reader], I didn’t mean to take up your time! It’s fine if you can’t, but thank you anyway.” 

[Reader] politely excused themselves and finished their shopping. A couple of instances off the top of his head that Rollo remembered, [Reader] buying food for a beggar on the street, helping an elderly person cross the street, helping a cat out of their collar once they noticed it was choking from it, and when they helped stitch back up a child's toy once it was ruined. Rollo was getting irritated at this point, 

‘Madam, I swear it’s like you enjoy tormenting me. . .are you trying to prove a point?’ 

The scowl written on his face was unwavering as he continued to observe this happy-go-lucky person. He managed to overhear the conversation between [Reader] and another person. 

“You’re so nice [Reader], it’s so rare to find someone who cares about people the way you do!” 

“You think so? I don’t think I am doing anything too grand, I just do what comes normal to me.” 

“Yes! You have a heart of gold, I mean you offer to help when needed. You should be careful though, people out there would take advantage of that kindness.” 

“Hm, I guess. I mean, I just do what I can but if it’s too much or something I can’t do I’m not opposed to saying no. I think a lot of people just think I’m too nice because they’re just used to being treated with little kindness. I don’t want to be a bystander if I can do something. I hold the door for people if they’re close and I’m not going to shut the door on them, it’s not like it takes too much time.” 

“Aw, you’re so nice.” 

“I don’t think so, I mean would you shut the door on me if I was behind you?” 

“Well. . .” 

“Then you’re just too mean.” 

[Reader] and the person exchanged a laugh before parting ways. Rollo stood still and turned to see [Reader] back in the distance, leaving the marketplace. His resolve didn’t sway, humans were still corrupt and undeserving of salvation, the only difference now was that there was an exception. Rollo would be lying if he sometimes didn’t go into town to glance at [Reader] and if he was lucky enough, he would be there at the same time. Over months though, he began to see less and less of them. He started to worry a bit, for the first weeks he chalked it up to [Reader] wanting time away from town but was surprised to know that nobody had seen them in the market for a month. Rollo approached a vendor, starting small talk, 

“Good morning, Father Rollo. How do you do today?” 

“I’m quite fine, thank you for asking. How about yourself?”

“Aw well, same! Business has been booming but I haven’t seen my top customer in a while!” 

“Oh, and who is that?” 

“[Reader]! They’re a sweet thing but suddenly stopped coming into town. I won’t lie, I am a little worried about them.” 

“[Reader]? I don’t believe I’ve seen them at mass. . .” 

“]Reader] used to go if I remember correctly, but I’m not too sure. I know they used to into town daily, aside from their work they loved to walk around the city. I think they stopped coming out as much a year or two ago, sometimes though they’ll come daily but it’s so rare when they do! I’m not quite sure why-!” 

“It’s because of their partner!” 

Rollo and the vendor turned to another person, an elderly lady who had joined the conversation. 

“Their partner. . .?” 

Rollo questioned, 

“Yes! At first, it was sweet. They met at [Readers’s] work and instantly became close, I would sometimes frequent their workplace you see. Their partner treated them with so much kindness but after a while, it was plain as day, he was isolating them! I remember I was walking home when I overheard them get into an argument, he wanted [Reader] to quit their job. [Reader] refused and that was the end of it, I’m not sure how they managed to persuade him because all I could hear was his yelling. After a while, [Reader] didn’t come to work and I thought they did quit, but when they came back they weren’t the same. They were still kind as ever, but you could tell something was off. Whenever they do come into town, it’s because their partner isn’t in Fleur City. I heard he sometimes goes back to take care of his ill parents.” 

Rollo was conflicted, who was this woman to be spreading such personal information of theirs but he had to thank her, without her, he never would have come to realize what needed to be done. Rollo had to admit, over the time he spent observing [Reader] he did become enamored with them. One true nature is revealed in several ways, how one presents oneself, their thoughts and actions, and what one preaches. Their nature had long been revealed, [Reader] was the only person whom Rollo believed was deserving of God’s love and he would not let them become a martyr for those deserving the flames of hell. 

Rollo set his plan in motion. He carefully wrote a letter and paid someone who the town would never recognize to deliver it into the hands of [Reader’s] partner. Their partner read the contents and before they could react, the person who delivered it had vanished to report to Rollo. 

“It’s been done?” 

“Yes, Father Rollo. May I ask though, what do you plan-” 

“That’s enough, you needn't worry about the content of the letter. Your task was to deliver, which you have. You’re free to go.” 

The man excused himself, leaving Rollo at his desk with his elbows propped but his hands were close together. He was deep in thought, 

“He would be wise to appear later tonight if he truly cares for his parents.” 

Later that night, their partner had walked down to the waterways. There, they met a cloaked individual. 

“Are you the one who sent me that letter? Who the fuck do you think you are to threaten my family-!” 

“I wouldn’t if I were you.” 

The cloaked individual placed their hand out, to halt them from coming closer. They used that same hand to point upwards. When [Reader’s] partner looked up, they were met with several shadows who were not afraid to display their weapons. 

“What do you want?” 

Their partner scoffed out. The cloaked individual spoke out, 

“You have a partner by the name of [Reader]. Let’s just say that they owe me something, that being said it’s hard for us to come in contact with one another. This is where you come in, I need you to lure them into town. Do it on a rainy day, when there are fewer people to overhear, but I need you to lure them to the center of town. Make sure that nobody sees you two or asks about you, do you understand?” 

“What do they owe you-?!” 

“That’s none of your concern! Just, lure them into the center of the town. My men will be watching to make sure no one interferes but remember, if someone comes to find out about this plan. Well, you know what will happen to your family, understood?” 

Their partner gulped in fear and nodded, 

“You may go, and remember to not tell a single soul about this. I’ll always be listening.” 

They remained still for a brief moment, processing the words of the individual, before running out. Once they were out of sight, the person removed their cloak. Rollo stood in the center, looking at the moon and breathing out a sigh of relief. Those armed shadows turned to Rollo and asked, 

“Father Rollo, may I ask who that man is?” 

“Just someone this world would be better without. Keep me updated on his location and if he says anything. Remember, this is all to protect Fleur City.” 

Rollo disappeared within the waterways. 

Rollo approached the fireplace in his office and looked down at the handkerchief once more before tenderly caressing it into his face. 

“[Reader], I’ll repeat your name over and over like a prayer, I’d never tire of it. . .if only you knew of all things I did for you to be by my side. . .” 

The memory rolled over in his head, 

“There is a storm coming, we should make preparations in case of anything.” 

“Oh, you’re always so diligent and a step ahead, Father Rollo.” 

“Madam, one can never be too prepared.” 

The madam shook her head at Rollo’s comments but carried out his request. He had stood in preparation for anything. If what was revealed was true, then [Reader] was certainly being isolated by their partner. Their abusive partner would take advantage of another. That being said, he planned to make it so that they lured [Reader] out into the center of town, where the cathedral lay. Their partner may not know it as he was certain he had never seen him before but [Reader] should. They would request sanctuary from the church and there, He would be by the door, awaiting his beloved with open arms. 

Before he knew it, he could hear the shouts and screams outside the door. 

“Sanctuary, give me sanctuary!” 

Before long, Rollo had opened the door and with a perfect facade, displayed concern. He could tell the way their partner trembled that he had feared for his family, he was caught by the church. Their partner had no choice but to flee the scene with their tail between his legs. After Rollo instructed the Madam to watch over [Reader], Rollo had the guards chase after their partner. In the meantime, Rollo had placed his cloak on and made his way to the outskirts of town where he was being held. 

“L-Let me go! Damn it, it wasn’t my fault-!” 

“Didn’t I tell you not to let anyone interfere?” 

“I-it wasn’t my fault! The church and that stupid priest got in the way! P-please leave my f-family alone-!” 

Rollo removed his cloak and presented himself to their ex-partner. 

“Y-you!?” 

“Don’t worry, your family won’t suffer. Though I will admit, I didn’t think you would go through with sacrificing them.” 

“Y-You threatened my family, w-why wouldn’t I?” 

“I suppose there is some logic to that reason. Tell me, did you even love them?” 

“W-what? I-I suppose I did?” 

“You suppose? You’re not certain?” 

Rollo questioned them further, 

“I mean yes! Yes, I did love them! W-what does this have to do with anything, you said they owed you something no-?” 

“ No, they don’t. I did this more to see what you would do and you played right into it. Once again, I was proved right. Humanity is undeserving of God’s love and salvation, you’re all just scum that turn against each other at any moment it’s convenient. You disgust me.” 

“Y-You did this to prove a point!? Y-You think I won’t reveal to the townspeople who their beloved priest is?” 

“Not very intelligent either, are you? I’m not worried, because this is where judgment shall be passed onto you. This goes a little deeper than what you think, but no matter. I hereby declare you, guilty, and your sentence, punished by death. Dispose of him.” 

Rollo turned around, ignoring the pleas of that man. He did turn around to see their execution, before turning back. 

“We shall burn his body, but in the meantime place him somewhere no one will find out. Oh and, arrange for someone to take care of his parents. Hire a doctor to live with them.” 

The others nodded and carried out the order. Rollo headed back to town with a clear conscious. 

His attention remained on the flames. They had burned his body and afterward, devised a plan to break the news to his parents.  As far as they were concerned, he had passed away from a natural cause but because he was such a good member of the church, he was able to have a doctor stay with them full-time. He placed a chaste kiss on the handkerchief, 

‘This burning desire is turning me to sin. . .’ 

~ 

Rollo was sitting at the Confessional and while he was a man of God, he was also human. Like humans, he was running short of his patience. Father Rollo was a devoted man to his occupation, but of course, even messengers of God need time of their own. He was covering for another priest, Father Phoebus, who unexpectedly became ill. Rollo’s face turned into one of annoyance and anger, he was certain that the priest wasn’t ill but rather skipping out on his duties. 

‘ No matter, confession ends in about 10 minutes. . .I just need to hold out till then.’ 

Rollo’s optimistic outlook was shattered the moment he heard someone else sit on the other side of the confessional. He rolled his eyes before turning to the wooden lattice opening but stiffened when he saw it was [Reader]. Luckily, this confessional was designed so that the priest would be hidden away and the penitent was visible. 

“I do apologize for coming in so late, Father Phoebus. . but I would like to confess my sins.” 

Rollo cleared his throat, 

“Of course, please, confess to me what ails you.” 

He placed his gaze at [Reader], who remained unaware that instead of Father Phoebus, it was Rollo. 

“Right, to be honest, I’m not quite sure where to begin. All I know is, I’m committing a grave sin. I ... . .in love with a man that I cannot have. He is married to a vow.” 

Rollo’s breath hitched, turned to stare at [Reader] who looked down in regret and disappointment.

“M-married? May I ask, which vow this man is married to?” 

[Reader] stiffened at the question, 

“Father Phoebus. . .it's Father Rollo who I am enamored with. He is God's messenger and as such, I know my feelings will never be reciprocated yet! Yet, I can’t help but still love him.” 

Rollo knew that Reader required guidance and genuine support, but he couldn’t help the need or desire after hearing that the one he loved also felt the same. He pulled out the wine-red handkerchief with the beautiful purple embroidery that outlined the cloth and spelled his name on the corner. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t help it as his dick hardened at the idea of [Reader]. 

“T-tell me, how much you love him?” 

Rollo swallowed the lump in his throat. 

“O-Oh w-well. . .” 

It was an awkward question no doubt so there was some resistance from [Reader]. Rollo pressed on, 

“I would like to know how deep your admiration goes so that I c-can properly guide you.” 

“R-right. . well, I love him. At first, I thought it was just admiration because he helped me get back on my feet. When I gave him his handkerchief, I saw more than a simple thanks on his face, but a face of genuine gratitude, which made me fall deeper. I know he’s only being kind to me because it’s the right thing to do and not because of any special treatment, but I can’t help but-” 

Rollo continued to listen to their feelings, but he would be lying if he said that he wasn’t thinking about stroking his cock to their voice. Rollo had never experienced such feelings towards anyone before, but after meeting [Reader] he became a victim of the sin of greed and lust. 

“Though I will admit, maybe the reason I love him is because I feel safe and secure with him. With my past partner, I didn’t feel the same sense of security. I did at first, but after a while, they became the aggressor. I’m not sure why I didn’t leave immediately after and I kept beating myself up about but Father Rollo, assured me that it was not my fault. He was so kind and understanding, it was different from the others who told me something similar. It was sincere from both sides, but with him it was. . it was different.” 

When they finished confessing, Rollo spoke, 

“I don’t think you should be ashamed of your feelings. It’s a natural human thing to feel, love that is. You’re right, Father Rollo is a man tied to an oath by the Church. Under the eyes of God, he may not reciprocate your feelings but that doesn’t mean he would see you any less different. Your sins are forgiven, my child.” 

[Reader] nodded and bid farewell to ‘Father Phoebus’. Rollo watched their figure retreat and let out a breath of relief. Though he could not stop the pounding in his heart nor the tent in his pants. 

~ 

“F-Fuck! [R-Reader]-!” 

Rollo had retreated to his office once confessions were over, there he had his handkerchief wrapped around his dick, jerking himself off. The one that he loved felt the same for him but he was sure their love was not the same as his obsession with them. Such a pure and innocent crush on him whereas he shamefully was stroking his cock to the idea of touching them. 

“Ha. . ha. . wanna t-touch you, fuck-!” 

He threw his head back at the pleasure, how would [Reader] react to seeing their beloved Father Rollo fuck the handkerchief that they had gifted him. His orgasm was approaching and his whines were getting louder, he leaned over his table and spilled his seed onto the wine-red cloth, sweat adorning his face. He let out a sigh of relief and sat down on his chair. He thought of [Reader] and this new found confession. Rollo’s mind was made up. 

~ 

“I think we’re all good to go, [Reader] we’re heading out now!” 

“Have a good night!” 

[Reader] bid the other church volunteers farewell before giving the church one last good look. They were about to grab their things to depart as well before the doors opened. They turned to look at Father Rollo, who emerged from his office. 

“F-Father Rollo. . .what brings you out here so late?” 

“I’m just giving the Church one final look, but I did hope to catch you before you left.” 

“Me?” 

“Yes, come [Reader], take a walk with me.” 

[Reader] approached Rollo and their walk began. He was taking them across the Cathedral to put out the candles. 

“I know it’s been a while, but how have you been enjoying yourself in Fleur City?” 

“Oh, just fine! Thank you again, for all that you’ve done of course. It certainly feels amazing being able to freely leave and return without being shackled down. Not to mention, it’s a lot more eventful than I remember.” 

“I see, Father Pheobus has attempted to get more events hosted by the church. He would like the city to get together once in a while. It’s something new that he has been doing, but it seems that the townspeople enjoy it.” 

“That they do, may I ask, Father Rollo? Do you not like to get involved in events like these?” 

The main hall of the Cathedral was darkening with each step, 

“I wouldn’t say I dislike it. Socializing with others isn’t my strong suit, I tend to other matters that I excel at rather than mistakenly saying something I don’t mean.” 

[Reader] had noticed that Rollo tended to stay in the shadows and only speak when something needed to be said. If someone approached him and tried conversing, Rollo would maintain the utmost professionalism. He wasn’t one for idle chatter but never turned someone down if they wanted to have a word with him. Rollo continued his task, with [Reader] following close behind. 

“That’s fair. Sometimes not saying anything is the proper response, but I can see how that may stress you out. After all, you are a priest and everyone’s eyes are on you. Sorry, don’t mean to add to the pressure either.” 

As the candles were extinguished one by one, Rollo’s heels added to the ominous vibe that the Cathedral was giving. 

“You’re right, [Reader]. As a priest, all their eyes are on me waiting to hear what I  say but as such, my eyes are also on them. Despite what I preach, I believe that not everyone is capable of salvation. Humans are not devoid of sin, that is the truth. Though we are created in God’s image, we certainly are not perfect. There are those where their sins are mistakes and nothing more. Then some’s sins are perfectly under their control yet still choose to see nothing wrong in their actions. You can have that outlier where one of those wishes to repent and truly feel regret, but then some parade around shamelessly into God’s house asking for forgiveness. It’s laughable.” 

[Reader] remained silent. There was nothing they could say because ultimately, Father Rollo was right to some degree. Though they would be lying if they weren’t off-put by his sudden change. 

“ Did you know that the baker is having an affair? Ongoing for four years actually, yet he never fails to bring his wife and kids into mass every Sunday morning, thanking God for allowing them to live the way they do. They recently had their marriage anniversary, married for 10 years to be exact. I remember I was the one who renewed their vows. His words still ring in my head,”

“I will love you forever and until the end. You’re the pillar that provides me with the strength to keep going. I would never want another partner other than you, the woman I chose to be the mother of my children. I thank God for this blessing that is you, my love.” 

“How romantic, don’t you think? That same night he went back to his other partner, claiming that they had a big order for an event and he needed to be one step ahead of the game. How could I forget the previous head of the Orphanage, asking for food to provide for the children? The church and townspeople helped with what they could, but every time those children would come into mass they remained as thin as ever but the head remained full and content. It wasn’t until I stepped in and of course, led an investigation to find out that he was starving the kids and eating all the food. Now the orphanage is under the care of the Church, to be more specific, under my direct care. Don’t you see how happy those children are every time you come to mass? I even remember when Madam first came to the church, she told us the story of her husband's passing. She and her beloved husband were walking back home when an armed assailant was waiting for them, upon asking for their valuables he stabbed her husband over 27 times before fleeing. When the man was caught, he was just a petty thief who confessed to the crime. Their reasoning was they had no need to steal but got a kick out of watching the fear in the eyes of the defenseless manifest and to make matters worse, this was his first time killing since he never dared to do it before. What could an elderly man do to him had he chosen to fight back, nothing. That same thief pleaded with God before his execution that I had carried out, to spare him.” 

By the time Rollo had gotten to his part in his talk, almost all the candles were out except for four in the front of the altar. There Rollo turned around, facing [Reader] who stood in the middle closest to the altar. He was closest to the church doors but that area had been pitch black. He continued his speech and though he did not pose a threat to [Reader], yet, They couldn’t help the goosebumps that were forming on their skin and the sudden draft within the Cathedral. 

“Of course, the world is not black and white. There is no right or wrong, for if there was I too would have been punished. It’s not practical for me to base my distaste of humanity on a few bad apples, Madam, even after everything she went through still says that everyone deserves salvation but it’s like you said, [Reader]. We’re all so used to this world the way it is that a simple act of kindness, normalcy if you will, is considered a rarity.” 

[Reader] had recalled when they told that vendor that, those were their words and they still stood by it. The only thing was, they told that to the vendor, not Rollo. They shakily took a step back but kept their eyes trained on Rollo. He noticed their expression as well as their stance, but it was no use. The door to the church was locked and only Rollo had the key. He took a step forward, emerging from the darkness and [Reader] took a step back. 

“F-Father Rollo. . is this what you wanted to talk to me about? Sorry. . I just don’t know how this relates to me. . .” 

He let out a chuckle, 

“ You asked why I don’t like to get involved, right? That is my answer. It’s hard to get involved when I am surrounded by the same people I wish I could condemn. However, you are different. I’ll let you in on a little secret, I too have been keeping an eye on you long before we officially met.  You treated everyone with kindness even those that did not deserve it. You remained as human as possible, someone who could voice their feelings and care for everyone equally, even yourself. It was a sight for sore eyes, like an angel in a sea of devils. You tried your best and worked hard, but you knew what you could and couldn’t do. You were even starting to make me regain hope in this world but I quickly noticed that warm light inside of you start to flicker. It was all because of him, [Partner’s Name]. He had slowly started to dim that warm light inside of you and I couldn’t do anything, or so I thought. Your partner driving you out of your home was not accidental,  I can assure you. I had him lure you here, into the Church. There, I was able to save you from him.” 

[Reader’s] breath hitched. They had always assumed that all the events that led up to now were a mere coincidence, life just being its usual confusing self. It was not unusual for their partner to enter their shared home and demand things, bossing them around. They had assumed that it was the usual same old story. This didn’t change how they saw their partner and their relief that he was no longer in their life, but it changed their perception of Rollo. Had Rollo orchestrated their whole thing? Since when? For how long? Most importantly, for what? 

“Since we are in a church, I might as well confess. I have kept my eye on every single Fleur citizen since I became a priest, but I have kept my eye on you for months now. It’s hard for me to communicate with everyone, but not you [Reader]. Since I’ve been admiring you from a distance, I��ve come to love you. I love your person and your way of being. Your kindness, your truth, your struggles, everything about you I have come to love.” 

By now, [Reader] was up against the altar with Rollo standing in front of them. Both were illuminated by the remaining candles, his hand reached out to caress their cheek. 

“I’ve come to love everything about you, [Reader], even the parts that you aren’t aware of. I’ll remain to love them as well, for there is no one else.” 

“F-Father R-Rollo, I-!” 

He leaned closer to them, his piercing blue-green eyes staring into [Readers] fearful and confused ones. He placed a kiss on their lips, tilting their head back to get a better angle. Seconds passed before he lifted his lips from them, 

“. .And if you were to fall into sin, let it be by my hands.” 

Conflicted could not begin to describe it. The person they loved reciprocated their feelings, so much that they kissed at this very moment. Though logically speaking, Rollo had just admitted to orchestrating the whole thing. Who knew what was the truth and what was a lie? Did their partner move? Was it willingly? Most importantly, did it matter? Sure, maybe there was a time when logic was sound but that time wasn’t right now. Thinking with their heart, [Reader] kissed back. They shared a deep and sensual kiss that neither one dared to break. Rollo pushed his body up against [Reader], grinding into them. The altar luckily wasn’t too high, but there were small steps on either side that allowed them to effortlessly get on the altar. Rollo managed to push their back flat against the cold marbled table, 

“F-Father R-Rollo, are you sure? Y-you’re a man with a vow and-” 

“[Reader], I love you.” 

Their eyes widened once more at the confession and looking up, they weren’t meant with the Rollo they knew. He was no longer stoic and professional, this Rollo was vulnerable. His cheeks were flushed pink as he straddled [Reader’s] hips. His body loomed over theirs and his hands went to open their top. His eyes were glossed over with love and desire. [Reader’s] top was opened to expose their chest and his hands lightly touched their skin. His cold fingers trailed from their neck, chest, and lastly their nipples. Rollo let out a shaky sigh, 

“I love you. Let me worship you, with God as my witness let me prove my devotion to you. .” 

Rollo’s lips neared [Reader’s] and they exchanged a kiss. He lightly bit on their bottom lip, asking for permission to further taste them. A moan escaped [Reader] but they opened their mouth to allow his tongue inside. Rollo pressed himself further into [Reader], afraid to let go. Needing air, [Reader] placed their hands on his clothed chest, pushing against it. Releasing their lips, Rollo straightened but released a breathy moan. [Reader] could see the warmth spreading across his pale skin, but could also feel his growing bulge. Rollo began to lean back down but stopped when [Reader] went to open his top. He allowed them to strip him of his shirt, allowing his pale chest to be exposed. 

“I want to see you too, R-Rollo. . .” 

The tip of his ears turned pink at the comment. He leaned down to their neck, licking up and down. Nibbling and biting down to create hickeys. His lips trailed down, kissing the skin around the newly formed hickey and down to their chest. Moans spilled from both Rollo and [Reader], the pleasure shared between the two. His tongue swirled around their nipple, lightly biting and sucking on them. [Reader] tenderly held Rollo’s head as he worked on their chest. Shaky breaths echoed throughout the Cathedral. 

“F-Fuck. . R-Rollo-!” 

Rollo lifted himself from their chest and saw the bright pink/red circular marks all across their chest. 

“Not enough. . .it’s not e-enough. . “ 

Rollo leaned back down, kissing down to their navel area. His hands played with their bottoms, opening them agonizingly slow. He pulled them down their legs and he shifted back, making sure he could properly remove them. 

“F-Fuck, y-your sex. . .” 

Rollo’s shaky moans slipped out, he stared in awe at [Reader’s] aroused sex. He shifted back before nearing their sex and inhaling their scent. Rollo’s fingers carefully touched around, going to their most sensitive spot and circling his finger around. 

“R-Rollo…right there…feels good….” 

Rollo nodded, continuing to circle his finger. After a while he leaned down, placing his tongue on their sensitive spot. He licked around, replacing the movement of his finger, and began to lick up and down. [Reader] let out soft moans and breaths as he continued pleasuring them. He began to kiss, suck, lick, pinch, and stroke their sensitive bits. Rollo took a break to lick his fingers and pushed them against [Reader’s] hole. Lightly inserting a finger inside, feeling them clench around it. 

“Do you lust for me. . the same way I lust for you?” 

��� I-I’ve a-always wanted you-ngh!” 

Though Rollo wasn’t attending to their sex with his mouth, he was still reaching inside them with his fingers. Slipping a second finger to curl up against that soft spot inside them, pumping rhythmically. Rollo leaned back down, placing his mouth back on their sex. Rollo himself wasn’t too experienced, but based on their sounds, he knew more or so where to touch. His long slender fingers managed to reach thoroughly and the stimulation with his tongue was overwhelming.

“F-Fuck Rollo, g-gonna cum-!” 

Rollo continued to abuse their sex, giving them that final push needed to orgasm. Rollo’s face was drenched with drool and cum, but still managed to swallow everything that they released. He unbuttoned his pants, releasing his cock that was already leaking pre-cum. He wrapped his hands around it, stroking himself. 

“Can I-fuck! P-put it inside you. . .?” 

Rollo’s half-lidded eyes pleaded with [Reader’s], begging to fuck them.  [Reader] propped themself up with their elbow, sat up, and kissed him. Rollo leaned forward to reciprocate. They placed their hands on his cheeks and lightly caressed, 

“You may. . .but can I. .be on top?” 

Rollo softly nodded, letting [Reader] guide him to lie down on the altar instead. [Reader] went to stimulate his already hard dick, but wrapped their hands around it and jerk him, smearing his pre-cum around. They licked their fingers and trailed them down to their hole, lightly fingering themselves to adjust to his size. They scissored themself and when they were ready, hovered over his cock. They lowered themselves onto Rollo’s cock, clenching down on his dick. 

“F-Fuck you’re tight-!” 

Rollo threw his head back at the sensation and his hands reached to hold [Reader’s] hip. [Reader] stayed still to adjust to his size but after a while, began to move. Riding his cock, [Reader] threw their head back as breaths left them, their back slowly arching. Rollo thrust, matching their pace as well. One of his hands moved to their sex, stimulating it at the same pace. 

Aside from the candles, the moonlight entered the Cathedral through the stained glass. The hue of the deep blues and purples reflected off their skin, creating an almost angelic glow. Their moans and whines echoed throughout the church, Rollo’s back was on the altar and his body coated in sweat. His eyes glossed over with tears, looking over at [Reader] who fared the same. Their body was sweaty and warm, their movements were slowing with time. Rollo’s thrust became more erratic, reaching deeper into [Reader]. 

“I-I’m close-! F-Fuck, f-feels s-so good-! Rollo!” 

Mewls spilled out of [Reader]’s mouth. 

“M-Me too-! I-I love you! L-Love you so much! God, I love you so much, [Reader]!” 

“I l-love you too, R-Rollo-!” 

With their final declaration of love, [Reader] came all over Rollo and he came deep inside of them. Their deep breaths were heard throughout the cathedral. [Reader] slumped on top of Rollo with his cock still inside them. They nuzzled into Rollo’s neck, peppering light kisses. 

“Love you s’much, Rollo.” 

“I love you too. . .[Reader].” 

His arms wrapped around them, pressing them closer into him. They stayed like that for a while, before [Reader] perked up, looking at his face. 

“I-I do have a question though. . .did you know that I liked you?” 

Rollo looked down to see their curious gaze, he adverted his eyes with a blush staining his cheeks. 

“It. . .it wasn’t Father Pheobus in the Confessional. It. . .it was me. . .” 

[Readers] face fell, 

“S-SO I CONFESSED TO YOU?” 

[Reader] buried their face in his neck, Rollo let out a soft smile at their antics. 

“That you did. Though I am glad, without you confessing to me, this never would have happened.” 

Still buried in his neck, they mumbled a couple of words. 

“I love you. . .” 

Rollo, of course, said it back. He could hear their soft snores, they had passed out from exhaustion. Only one thought lay in his mind, there was no one else other than him that could preserve the purity within [Reader]. 

‘If hellfire must consume me, so be it. I will never let anyone else take you away from me. Your purity is for me to preserve and to taint, no one else.’ 

This was only the beginning of the tragic tell that would come about to Twisted Wonderland. The story of the righteous priest and judge who burned down Fleur City, all because of their desire for someone they could never truly have. 

A/N: So that was a long one. . .how we feeling? I don’t think I will ever write a part 2, sorry :(( UNLESS I get inspiration but I do want to write headcanons for him so maybe? That being said I will be posting another post that will talk about the future of this blog (I AM NOT LEAVING DW)! That being said, I want to thank my friends for helping me with this fic! Special mention to my friend who helped me confirm his personality for me (I love you Nova) and my other friend, who got horny thoughts when they went to church! :3 

[joyfulexchristian]

Thank you for your blog! It’s exactly what I need right now.

I’m currently trying to construct my beliefs after a lifetime raised in the PCA (Presbyterian Church of America). It’s such a mindfuck because I can see how hateful a lot of PCA beliefs are and how when their theology is applied consistently it inevitably leads to abuse. It seems like the only ppl not fostering abuse in the system have twisted the words of the Bible to mean the opposite (ex: “this verse sounds like it’s saying x but if you go to the Greek blah blah it’s actually saying y.” Or “yes that verse does say that but obviously they’re applying it wrong. It was never meant to be taken that far” etc)

But even seeing all of this my coping mechanisms under stress are all still based in God. He was supposed to be the one constant thing and i don’t know what to do with that gone.

I feel like my beliefs are currently so fucked up. Trying to write down everything I feel is true and it’s ludicrously contradictory:

- there is no God

- Jesus is God

- after we did nothing happens. It’s the same as the space before we were born

- God has a plan to redeem suffering. All the pain in the world can’t be for nothing. People who live their whole lives in extreme duress and then die must get a chance after death to live prosperous lives. I don’t need eternal life but I need to know others will have it.

- hell is ridiculous and not real. I don’t want ppl to suffer like that no matter what they’ve done so a perfect God can’t be more petty than me. All I truly want from ppl who abused me is for them to never speak to me again. The only “punishment” I might want for them is for them to realize the damage they did and that I only want so they don’t do it again to others. I’m not talking to them so I don’t care.

I’m sure there are more but that’s all I can think of right now. It’s so confusing and messy! Does it ever settle a bit? Will I ever have a set of consistent beliefs again?

The short answer is yes and yes. Things also felt messy for me at first, but I did eventually reach a point of stability.

Congrats on being open to investigating and improving your worldview! That's such a cool and kind thing to do for yourself that many people never manage. I'm sure there's a lot to unpack, so I want to encourage you to treat yourself well while you're challenging your beliefs. Take breaks, seek support, and be patient.

Early in my deconstruction, I craved certainty because I believed that that's what truth felt like. I thought I would investigate my beliefs until I had a new and better set of beliefs on the other side of the process. But along the way I figured out that stability and consistency don't need to come from having an unchanging set of beliefs.

What I found was that having a good set of tools for seeking, analyzing, and integrating information into my life was more stable than having a static set of beliefs.

My beliefs used to be precious and protected, like trophies in a glass case, high up and out of reach. When I started deconstructing, that case came crashing down.

I felt ashamed that Christianity wasn't the only tool I needed to build a stable set of beliefs. For so many people around me, that seemed to be all they needed.

I began to question why I thought Christianity was true: love, belonging, fear, authority, loyalty, and stability were the main ones. But my beliefs didn't account for empathy, ethics, or epistemology and many other things. Heck, I didn't even know the word epistemology when I started this journey. I didn't know how to seek knowledge without running it through a Christian filter first.

I'd been told that CHRISTIANITY = TRUTH, so I hadn't considered that there were other methods to seeking, analyzing, and integrating new knowledge into my life.

But then I started exploring logic, philosophy, psychology, history, biology, and other subjects I'd been afraid would challenge my Christian beliefs. I started reading about other religions and comparing them to Christianity. And, most importantly, I started going to trauma-informed therapy. All of those things helped me break out of old patterns, learn how to update my beliefs based on new information, and how not to be afraid of that whole process.

Focusing on the tools I used to build my beliefs instead of the beliefs themselves, I was able to put together my own toolbox that helped me establish a more stable system of belief. I still go by my belief-shelf every once in a while, dust things off, admire beliefs that stood up to testing, and reevaluate beliefs that didn't. But that last part got rarer and rarer and no longer feels like the end of the world. Because ultimately, I'm still working with the same toolbox.

I used think that Christianity was a universal set of tools that worked for anyone in any situation, but now I see it as one very old tool that doesn't work for everybody. And, despite what I'd been told again and again as a Christian, the Bible is not a truth-seeking tool. It's a set of stories that can tell us about what the authors thought about themselves and the world. And, don't get me wrong, I love storytelling. I think it's very important. We can learn a lot about other people, their perspectives, and their philosophies. The problem comes in when people take their specific interpretation of stories in Christianity and try to apply them universally.

But we don't have to rely on the same old tools forever. We can try out new tools and figure out what will help us build the life that we want to have. Equipped with a variety of tools instead of one dusty one, we are more prepared to live and thrive in this constantly changing world.

Looking back, I'm glad my shaky shelf of beliefs fell apart. Because it gave me the opportunity to take responsibility for my beliefs instead of just protecting them.

I want to touch on one more point that you raised before I close, and that is the unbearable weight of suffering in the world. I struggled with this a lot during my deconstruction. It's a tough thing, to come from a worldview that has simple answers and adjust to the reality that reducing suffering is much harder than "let go and let God." My advice is to seek out good news, because it won't show up in social media feeds as much as bad news does. Find the people who are helping others, solving problems, and actively building community. Also, try to find some small way to do good, lessen suffering, or prevent harm if you have the ability and resources to do so.

That's part of why I run this blog, to try to help other people let go of harmful Christian beliefs with more joy and less suffering.

Thank you for sending me this ask. Messages like these inspire me. I see the effort and empathy behind your words and it gives me more hope than I had before!

[alyjojo]

Yearly Tarot Reading 2025 🎏 - Sagittarius Sun/Rising

Meditation: Dropped from a ski lift on a mountain, you’re skiing ⛷️ down at an extremely fast rate, moving from side to side and showing off for someone to the side - some not all, some don’t even know them, it’s 50/50; but you end up falling and rolling quite a bit down the hill, turning into a giant snowball and hitting a tree with snow ❄️ on it, which all falls on top of you for the grand finale. This person is on the other side of the tree a little ways, laughing. It doesn’t feel mean, it’s a soft laugh, like a mother chuckling at their child.

General: Temperance 😌

Work: The Chariot

Love: The Hanged Man

Before I even started, I was shown the art on the top of the oracle deck and heard “Sparrow” and then “eye of the sparrow”…y’all I’ve never heard of this a day in my life, apparently it’s both a song and a Bible verse which…idk these verses, I’m reading it along with ya 😆 There are 100 versions of the song so idk pick one, but the verse is as follows:

Matthew 10:29-31

29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

Your energy makes me chuckle a bit too, you’re late to the party Sag, you’re still working with Libra SN energy because you didn’t apply this to yourself in the last couple of years, so it’s like the new nodes don’t even really take effect until you do - or they’re all going on simultaneously which is kind of exhausting, and that’s here. I don’t believe in mistakes so, there’s a reason. You did win something last year, something you’d been competing for, whether it’s a person, a contest, some kind of recognition, a game show opportunity 🧳, a trip, idk. Before then you may have been kinda hard on yourself and had lacked confidence or recognition, this was a big boost you needed - and it came with some kind of Abundance. Money, a new car, an appliance from The Price is Right, whatever it was made you feel really good. Now, that confidence is back to waning, on and off, you know what you want but do others want the same thing? Will they support you? You fear they won’t.

Temperance is your own energy of taking things one day at a time, incorporating different elements into a successful blend via “alchemy,” being patient and cooperative, not letting things shake you up or get you frazzled. I don’t see any sudden shake-ups, more like a lot of rest, time to think, time to chill, hang out, and consider what comes next. This year is shown as a Growth year, you’re changing a lot whether you know it or not, over time. A big big part of this has to do with boundaries on all fronts - the current nodes highlight your 4th House of Home and your 10th House of Career, both being shown with Boundaries and Libra rev. You could have Libra/Cancer placements that the heavy Aries retrograde (Mercury & Venus) energy in March (and later Saturn) all trigger in you. Or more likely, because Sag and Aries 🔥 are very compatible, this time period could be the catalyst that gives you the courage to address this, it’s like the in-between middle ground you need.

You’re a people pleaser and it’s exhausting not putting yourself and your own goals first, whatever they are, but you’ve been indecisive on where to draw lines. It’s a fluid “I don’t care” kind of energy I’m sure you know well, you’re very go-with-the-flow, but that seems to be being taken advantage of and it’s time to start drawing lines in the sand. Spirit is saying you’ll know when, and also to be patient and consider your actions/words before doing so…be calm and clear. I don’t see you drawing boundaries for the sake of it, they have to be crossed in order for you to be like wait…no. You’d rather not, it’s probably forced & necessary. At least from what I’m seeing here, you’re pretty chill.

With love being The Hanged Man, and The Sun rev clarifying, you may not have been interested in chasing love and/or you still aren’t. Not really. You don’t have faith that people aren’t crazy or you’re going to get in some situation that blows up in your face, but also don’t want to make anyone mad or let them down, with a partner or single, could also be family related. This could be due to some kind of wound, if you say no people will leave. If that’s the case, do you really want people that can’t respect your boundaries? Again I’m not seeing anything crazy, you’re allowed to decide for yourself what is yes and what is no, and people that care about you are expected to understand that, it comes with loving you properly. You hate crowds and loud noises, it would be silly to force you to go to concerts - say no, it’s not for you. Simple. I would assume your people know you like that. You’re more of a tea & biscuits 🫖 kind of person, that’s the example I got and laughed. But if you don’t say anything, then you’re leading people to believe you like xyz and you don’t, you can’t be upset when they don’t understand. You shouldn’t make anyone mad being yourself, that’s a them problem they can deal with.

In your close relationships, this is something that really stresses you out, makes you feel insecure, fearful, indecisive, why though? Doing so will benefit your Growth, it’s your whole lesson of the year over time, and you will Ascend 🎈 to a higher level of maturity and consciousness from being more secure in your own energy with your own preferences. Other people demand their needs be met, it looks like you’re just asking gently. Or you’re being encouraged to. You hate broccoli 🥦 PERIOD. You’re allowed to! It’s your life. I don’t get anyone being against you. If you’re confident about it, who cares? Some people out here with 20 wives, or living in vans on mountains, or TikTok dancing on guard rails or some ish - do you boo 💜 If you want it and it scares you, it’s probably the right thing to do. Someone said that, idk who. If you don’t then you don’t, what else is there? Indecision, you go back and forth or may not even know for sure. If your red flags 🚩 are waving, consider them - Temperance and Hanged Man - take your time and pick it apart, and when you make a decision own it, again nothing feels sudden or unexpected here. You’ve tried broccoli 100 damn times, enough. You know you 💯 If people refuse or give you problems, consider whether they’re hindering your growth - that’s no bueno. Would they put up with the same? Would you expect them to?

For work it’s a similar energy, either you’re super ambitious but afraid to step on toes, afraid you don’t have the cooperation you’d need in order to achieve xyz - or people just kinda bulldoze through your boundaries and rush in with demands and bs you’re expected to meet on the spot. That could be your actual job for someone, a runner, deliverer, driver maybe. You could travel but it’s last minute, and if so it’s happened more than once, like “you’re needed in Mexico day after tomorrow great thanks.” And you just do it. You give off a very passive energy and due to this it’s like people think they can walk all over you, whereas I bet they wouldn’t do that to someone more assertive & confident.

It feels like you haven’t said anything, or if you did, it was/is in a passive sort of comment or something that isn’t picked up on. It’s like others are not learning because you’re not speaking up, not wanting to make anyone upset, not wanting them to just not send you to Mexico anymore. Cooperation is here, it’s also showing you’re exhausted, and possibly breadcrumbed with later, later, later, never happens - at some point you’re going to get sick of it. And still be nice, Temperance is kind and emotionally balanced, while at the same time you’re needing to address your needs directly and be taken seriously. Maybe your hours were changed “temporarily” and it’s been years, clearly not temporary. It’s like Spirit is putting you into forced confrontation on purpose because this is something you need to learn & get more comfortable with, so you can move up, meet your goals, get the cooperation you deserve, you’ve waited long enough.

Basically, if you want something, you’re gonna have to flat out say so, maybe more than once. You don’t have to be rude to be direct but also idk have them repeat it back, give you a date, “per my last email,” ask if you would need to discuss this issue with someone higher up the chain - hold people accountable. Receipts bish 🧾 If that thought terrifies you it’s not time, your Intuition will let you know when you’ve had enough, it’s connected to Exhausted…it’ll take a lot of pushing to get you there but you’ll get there. You could even discuss the issue with coworkers and get support that way, the whole lot of ya confronting the boss like “hey wtf is going on with Sag and this thing?” Some of you may even decide to leave a job or a branch of a job because you’re fed up, and if so the new place feels more open to your input or willing to do what you ask, they listen. There could be a work trip that’s just…ugh, and you never want to go back to this specific place ever again, if so you’ll say so. I’m getting the meditation again here, some kind of trip is not great or inconvenient. A lot of waiting, delays, (minor) disasters, never going there again. Overall, you’ve got a very balanced & peaceful kind of energy, it’s just whether you let other people run all over you because they know you’ll agree. Maybe…don’t agree. Peacefully decline 😌 Its part of your Growth, one that will make you feel more successful, confident, and better able to make moves towards the goals you have (have had, I’m hearing, most feels not new) but may have been indecisive or going back and forth on. I don’t see rejection, that’s a plus, maybe distractions or dude can’t hear but, speak up. Speak more generally, I’m hearing, and I’m seeing Uranus move into Gemini, that’s on May 20 - you may become a lot chattier then or attract people that are, they can help encourage this as well, or even speak for you or back you up. Be patient and kind with yourself like you are with others, expect what you give, and if it’s not that then you’re not wrong for making it clear what you expect. I’m also hearing you don’t have to overexplain or apologize for inconveniencing people either. You’re really growing into yourself this year, I like that you’re not being an ass about it that’s refreshing…the same can’t often be said for most of us 👀 You’re growing into all sides of your personality with grace, even the more assertive bits, we all need to defend ourselves at some point and Spirit’s pushing you to get to that point, probably because you deserve more than you’re getting. Money, respect, consideration, time even, notice. In some way, maybe several ways, depends on you. Who could even say no to that? 💜

First Spirit said to ignore the sparrow card, it was just for the picture, and now at the end they said “flip it over,” and it says Change. Do something differently than you normally do - this is what it’s talking about. Everyone has boundaries, you’re not reaching, or mean, or bad, for making it clear what yours are. You’re just not confident or assertive naturally from what I see, and I’m hearing “practice makes perfect.” Or look into this online with people who have struggled with this even, you’re never the only one 💯 A work/home balance could be a constant for most of you, especially when you’re being dismissed or expected to check all the boxes of both all of the time. Virgo/Pisces is martyr/victim and that’s what’s coming through when it comes to this for you - enough is enough babe, you get to decide how things work best for you personally and others can adjust not always you. Would people rather watch you snowball down a mountain? You’d rather not thanks. Lord knows everyone else makes demands, with no care, at least you do care from what I see 💟 I’m seeing you get the support you need though, a lot of this is being poked to the point of you finally doing something about it because no, you can’t travel in a day, please don’t ask again. While you’re focused on everyone else’s demands, where are yours, how are others trying to meet them or give what/how you’re giving?

Zodiac Signs: Pisces, Sagittarius, Cancer, Scorpio & Leo

Numbers: 25, 38, 13, 52, 79 & 74

7777 with goals and ambitions you have regarding your work, and fear you won’t have the cooperation you need - or fear to even start, what if it fails? Spirit is referring to the sparrow on this card again and I’m hearing “but what if you fly?” 🐦 Birds may be very significant for you this year or in general. You will get the Cooperation you need and whatever it is will be successful 🏆

[icelynia]

Some tips to actually read the Bible!

If you’re like me and struggle with reading your Bible, here are some tips! Hopefully ADHD/Neurodivergent friendly ones.

Get a journal/study Bible- I cannot say how much this has helped me! Instead of having a separate notebook I need to take with me/open on my phone, I can just write right in it! Highly recommend.

Don’t judge versions- Now some versions are more accurate and overall better, that’s just the truth, but that doesn’t mean that the rest don’t have their places. The Message might absolutely suck for any hardcore Bible study, but it’s great for casual reading and beginners. If a version is boring you, difficult to understand, or just too familiar, don’t be afraid to switch it up! You can easily try out new versions digitally before committing to buying a physical copy of it!

Don’t be afraid to markup your Bible- I know that some feel like it is sacrilegious to write and highlight in a Bible, but it isn’t. Don’t go burning and defacing Bibles of course, but writing notes and highlighting to help further your Bible study are fine! Get different colored writing utensils, put tabs for each book, even doodle in the margins!

Studying the Bible should be fun, not stressful- If you need to put on music, sit in the bathtub, or put a sticker on the first page of every book you’ve finished, go ahead! This kind of goes along with the last point, but even if it’s not a conventional way to read the Bible, go wild (within reason)! If you need an audiobook version go ahead! If you voice act everyone, that’s great. What’s important is that you are consuming God’s word and grasping the message inside of it. Don’t go too overboard and let your method become a distraction though!

Get a children’s Bible- I was recently going through some bookshelves at home and found my old Veggietales Children’s Bible. I flipped through it and it grabbed my attention right away! Children’s Bibles usually have inserted points that are on a more basic level than “adult Bibles”. That’s fine! Some of us need that simplicity, especially if we are neurodivergent. The Veggietales Bible I have also has comics based on the movies which while sometimes weird, were a nice brain break from the sometimes overwhelming and long passages of scripture. It might seem silly/awkward at first, but finding a good children’s Bible can open up a whole new world in your Bible Study!

You don’t need a plan- It can be overwhelming to try those “Read the whole Bible in a year!” plans, so try something different. Maybe read through the minor prophets, read just Ester, or 5 Proverbs! Any amount is good, since it means you got into the Word! Maybe one day you’ll just open to a random passage and read that! You never know where you’ll end up and I’ve had some great moments just with doing that.

Join a Bible Study-Going through Scripture with someone else can be a game changer! From sharing different opinions on passages, holding each other accountable, to sharing prayer requests, there is nothing better than having at least one buddy to fellowship in the Lord with!

Play Bible Games-This can go along with the last one, but play Bible games! Here are a few of my favorites:

1. Sword Drills- This is a competition based on finding passages fast. It starts with someone (usually a leader, but can be anyone within the group) yelling, “Swords Up!” and then everyone lifts their Bibles in the air. If it is feasible, make sure everyone has the same copy of the Bible. If not, only rules are that the Bible has to be physical and no bookmarking sections to help you get to a passage faster. The same person that yelled “Swords Up!” will now say a passage (Eg: John 3:15) and the participants will say it back. They will all start looking for it when the person says “Go!” . The first person to get to the passage and read it allowed wins! This game helps with memorizing the books of the Bible, their order, and helps expose people to passages they might not read otherwise.

2. Bible Quizzing- This one is all about memorizing facts, passages, and trivia about the Bible. Now there are actual tournaments and Bible Quizzing championships, but you don’t need to do anything like that. Just get a few friends, task one with coming up with questions, and then compete to see who gets the most right! This could involve Jeopardy, multiple choice, and even a written portion. I’ve done both casual and actual tournaments and I’d recommend both! Both are fun and get people to learn the Bible, though the actual competitions can be an idol to some people.

Find Christian Online Influencers- Now, this one could lead you astray, but hear me out. Finding entertainment from Christian sources is leagues better than from some random person who is probably an atheist, woke, and believes in evolution. Now, I’m not saying “Don’t engage with and watch content from non Christian people!” what I am saying is to try and get some more Christians in there. My favorite Christian YouTube Channels are Red Pen Logic, Dude Perfect, JStu, Matthias, and Sean McDowell. Not all of these are content about Christianity, but they are all Christian YouTubers. The ones about Christianity are RPL and Sean McDowell. JStu member Justin does have a podcast called the Soul Mine Podcast that he runs with his father all about being a Christian boy/man in our modern society. Everyone (even girls) are allowed and encouraged to listen to it. The point with this one is that surrounding yourself with entertainment that won’t lead you astray is important and that these YouTubers are a great place to start.

Also if you are a Christian theatre nerd, check out Sight and Sound Theatres! I cannot recommend them enough. They do original musicals based on people from the Bible and I’d say are even better quality than Broadway. They are currently doing Daniel (1st run!) in Lancaster, PA and Queen Esther in Branson, MO. Enough people don’t know about them for how good their shows are! They have a 180° stage, live animal actors, and very impressive both practical and digital effects! Their sets also move and are very intricate and impressive.

This was all I could think of at the moment! Feel free to reblog/comment some more tips that have worked for you.

God bless!❤️✝️

[kendrene]

crudely compliment appearance - jillian and mother superion :)

Afternoon training sessions have become an unexpected form of entertainment within the OCS. The late afternoon slot, after the flagstones in the courtyard have gone from boiling hot to merely warm, and slanting sunlight paints across the stained glass of the cathedral in sparks of orange-gold.

It’s at that time, as the day fades first to memory then dream, that Mother Superion calls the new recruits to the training mats one by one and wipes the floor with them for a good hour and a half. 

“I didn’t think someone that old could move so quickly.” Today, Ava sits astride the banister ringing the upper cloister, back pressed against a marble column. She’s still flushed from their own training, the messy braid she gathered her hair in to keep it out of the way slowly coming undone. Beatrice tries hard not to stare. “How old is Supes exactly, by the way? Like sixty?” 

Mary makes a disgusted sound deep in her throat.

“What?” Ava raises an eyebrow. The sun is pretty much gone, dipped behind the outer buildings, but a stray reflection crowns her head in fire. Beatrice’s focus drifts from the discussion again. To Ava. To the miracle of having her back by their side. Her side. Until the words Ava adds next. “She’s ancient, right? She gives off that vibe.”

“I don’t think I should ask—” Mary starts.

“You most definitely should not.” Beatrice interjects. She can sort of tell where this is going, and for once hopes to be wrong. 

“—but what vibe do you mean, Ava?” 

“Y’know, the old-dude-in-the-Bible vibe. What’s his face? Methuser-something.”

It’s such a burden to always be right.

“Methuselah.” Beatrice enunciates slowly. She plants both elbows on the banister, leaning in the space left between Ava and Mary. “And I can guarantee Mother Superion isn’t 969.”

“Have you seen her birth certificate or something?”

“Ava—”

“I’m just asking, okay?” Ava throws her hands up, placatingly. “I mean, she’s old, but also hot, kind of? It’s hard to put an actual age on her, really.”

“Please—” Mary is cut off by a yelp and a crash. The three of them look down in unison to see that one of the recruits is sprawling, weaponless, in the middle of a pile of upturned equipment. Camila, who’s overseeing training with Superion for the day, helps the girl up. “— do not say that ever again.” Mary continues. 

“Oh? Are you afraid of the truth?” 

“Both of you shut up and look.” Down below someone new is stepping on the mat, a stave clutched nervously in her hands. “It’s Yasmine’s turn.” 

“Five euros she lasts less than three minutes.” Ava immediately says.

“Ten euros she lasts at least five.” Mary snipes back.

Beatrice shakes her head. “You should be ashamed. Twenty euros and I say she actually disarms Mother Superion.”

“Unlikely.”

“Impossible.”

Beatrice crosses her arms.

“You ought to support your Sisters in times of— wow.” 

Mother Superion does something with her cane that even Beatrice’s eyes can’t follow, and Yasmine stumbles back, unbalanced. Trips on her own feet, ending up much the same way of the previous recruit, except that Yasmine, somehow, has kept a hold of her weapon. 

“You were saying?” Ava, smug as ever, sticks her tongue out.

“She’s still armed.” Yasmine is picking herself up, using the staff like the cane Superion carries with her everyday but has no need of anymore. “It doesn’t count.”

“Fine.” Ava nods. “Looks like they’re going for round two, anyway. Care to add pizza to our little bet?” 

“Double cheese and mushroom from the Italian place in town.” Beatrice says absently. Mother Superion has picked two other girls from the ranks and they’ve surrounded her, circling to find the right opening and strike. “I’m sure Cam will let you borrow the money if you buy her pizza, too.”

“Bold of you to assume that I’ll lose.”

“Bolder of you to assume that you won’t.”

Banter quickly dies off in the face of what next goes on at their feet. It all becomes a blur. Strike, riposte, repeat. The only noise that can be heard is the clak-clak-clak of the staffs clashing as the girls seek to score a first hit. Superion seems able to block everything they can think of throwing at her. 

“Oh,” Someone breathes out a little shakily next to Beatrice’s ear. “I’d totally hit that.”

Jillian Salvius has become, much like the late afternoon spectacles, a permanent fixture in these parts. Most days there’s something that needs mending, some new piece of tech Jillian wants them to try to help them in the coming war. Beatrice always thought it strange so much of it is personally delivered, and Jillian’s (probably unintentional) confession puts the situation under a brighter, blinding light.

“You’d what?” Ava’s voice rings out over the courtyard and training grinds to a halt. Everyone is staring up.

Dusk has extended its cold, blue hand on them all, but even in the fading light Beatrice can tell the tips of Jillian’s ears are heated red. 

“Isn’t that what you young people say?" She shifts on the balls of her feet, awkward, leaning away from Superion's hawk-like line of sight. "I’m trying to stay on top of idiomatic shifts in—” 

“Yeah,” Ava will remark sometimes later, after Mother Superion appeared among them and told Jillian to stay while the rest of them scattered like leaves in a storm. “I bet she’s trying to stay on top of someone alright…”

[saras-devotionals]

Quiet Time 9/6

What am I feeling today?

I wish I had been more productive today. Then again I was really tired and it was probably good for me to get that extra bit of sleep. Prayerfully all my plans can follow through today. Also, I’m trying so so hard to keep a level head. There’s a brother in the church who I’ve developed an interest in and I don’t want to spiral like I have the habit of doing in the past. I just need to trust in God and His timing and not fret and preoccupy myself with worrying about whether he likes me or will ask me out again or if he feels the same way about me etc.

Bible Plan: Rethinking Love and Romance

Finally, we turn to the New Testament’s Christmas story—wait, what? We associate angels, shepherds, and wise men with the Christmas story, but romance? Stick with us. There is something profound to learn about love from a character who does not have a single line in the story.

Matthew’s gospel tells us that Joseph was betrothed to Mary. In their world, betrothals were more serious than modern wedding engagements. The two were legally bound to one another, though they didn’t yet live together or consummate their relationship. During the betrothal time, Mary discovers that she is pregnant—and the baby is not Joseph’s (Matt. 1:18). Imagine being Joseph in this scenario. What is he supposed to do? In their culture, this would have been humiliating to both Mary and him.

Joseph shows lovingkindness to Mary by deciding to divorce her quietly (Matt. 1:19). That doesn’t seem very loving, but consider the cultural context. Joseph could have preserved his own reputation by publicly shaming Mary. He could have told everyone she was pregnant with a child that wasn’t his, leaving her to carry the burden alone. But Joseph won’t do it. He shows mercy toward Mary.

The authors say he wants to divorce her quietly because he is a “righteous” (Greek: dikaios) man. This word in Greek is deeply relational, describing someone doing right by another person and treating others as infinitely valuable creations of God. What could be more loving than treating someone with mutual respect and acknowledging that God built them for honor, blessing, and endless lovingkindness? Joseph wishes Mary no harm. He chooses to care for her.

Joseph is later awakened by a messenger, an angel, who instructs him to not divorce Mary. For Joseph, a quick and quiet divorce instinctively looked best for everyone involved. But Joseph chooses to trust the angel and, again, acts in a way that cares for and blesses (or gives life to) Mary—a picture of true love.

Most of us aren’t getting angelic instructions about who to stay romantically involved with. Wouldn’t that be nice? But we can still choose to act in love toward others in the way that Joseph did. Are we loving another person because of what they can do for us, or are we loving them so that they can be built up, cared for, and blessed with life? Are we choosing to do right by the other person regardless of what they can do for us?

In today’s video, learn more about the Hebrew word khesed that describes the relational and active love that God has for his people.

Matthew 1:18-25 NIV

“This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: “The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”). When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.”

I never thought about this too deeply but let’s take a moment to reflect on this situation. Joseph is a man betrothed to a woman who is now pregnant with a child that he knows it not his. Think for a moment how that would make you feel, betrayed? angry? bitter? disappointed? disgusted? hurt? I can’t imagine what it must have been like initially for Joseph but take some time again to reflect on how he responded to the situation.

It says he did not want to expose her to public disgrace. Think about what that says about him and his character especially during this time period and cultural context. He loved Mary in a way of respect and kindness, he was looking out for her even when it may have seemed she wasn’t doing the same for him.

This can lead us to a great practical:

Are we loving another person because of what they can do for us, or are we loving them so that they can be built up, cared for, and blessed with life? Are we choosing to do right by the other person regardless of what they can do for us?

No matter what happens or how how people treat us today (and any other day for that matter) - we should show the same love that God has shown us. Let’s not grumble when asked to do something. Let’s build up other people with our words. Let’s take the time to encourage one another.

[indigovigilance]

How to Write Good Omens Meta

Someone left something in my ask box that intrigued me:

My Ask is for insight into the theory of clues and how S2 clues move and build S3. Is there a meta on this? (If not, would you consider it at some point?)

Well, I did consider it, and here’s my first shot at answering this really good question. It's more about the art of writing than of clue analysis, but I may do a second piece in this series, if it feels necessary. Anyway, here we go:

read on Ao3

Learn Something New

People want to read meta to learn something that they didn’t know before. This probably means you will have to learn something that you didn’t know before. Some meta-analysts arrive pre-loaded with a rich background in costuming, tarot, biblical canon, and the wide array of cultural references that appear in the show. We also seem to have a fair number of psychologists (formally trained or otherwise) representing. I (and others: see Chekhov's Contract by @ineffablyruined) happen to have a background in law and so I was able to make a unique contribution via my piece Sovereignty, Citizenship, and the Bookshop. But for other topics, I have to self-educate.

In my personal opinion, the work on direct canon analysis (that is, watching the show and reporting what you see) has largely been done and I don’t think there will be many more breakthroughs until some people go away and come back with a freshly informed perspective. Personally, I’m waiting for someone to go learn everything there is to know about S.W. Erdnase and tell us what they found, because that is a very specific reference that I haven’t seen fleshed out yet (link it in the reblogs if it already exists!).

Don’t Be Afraid of Outside Sources

For example, quite a few times I’ve gone away to read outside source material before writing a new meta. Good examples are: Honolulu Roast, The Lament of the Metatron, and The Hornet in the Beehive. These are topics where I had no particular advantage over anyone else, I just had a question and decided to keep digging until I had something that looked like an answer.

On choosing a topic: in each of these cases I began with an in-show piece of information that seemed both unambiguous in its directness and yet unexplained. Why is there a mysteriously appearing sign in the coffeeshop that says Honolulu Roast? Who is the Metatron? Why is there so much attention drawn to bees when Crowley goes up to Heaven? If I start with a solid question and then follow an investigative pathway, usually beginning with the Bible given the nature of this show but not always, I’ll usually find something.

There are also some Clues that we’re basically told to investigate. The books on the shelves. The movie playing in the background in The Resurrectionist Pub. These are unambiguous breadcrumbs but they’re a lot of labor. I’m not going to read all those books and watch all those movies. So pick one (1) and go read it, or watch it, and then tell us what you found, so I can read your 1,500 word piece to learn what I need to know about it. 

Sometimes you get enough information for a meta just by hanging around long enough and absorbing information. That’s how I put together my pieces on Terry Pratchett’s Death and Crowley’s Dream. The trick in this case is to be able to synthesize it, and for that, the very best way to learn how to do that is read other people’s meta.

Specializing

The asker asked the most important question of all: what’s the balance between trying to manage all the Clues or ignoring them entirely? Well, think of it this way (I’m borrowing an XKCD comic for brevity):

The takeaway here is, when you get a PhD, you become a hyperfocused expert in a very narrow topic and you’re relying on lots and lots and lots of other PhD students becoming highly specialized experts in other topics so that together you are expanding the diameter of human knowledge.

We (meta-analysts) are all getting PhDs in Good Omens, one way or another. Some people are doing their theses in color theory. I am doing mine on the concept of memory and identity permanence (though frequently dabbling in law). Yet others have flung themselves body and soul into the topic of Crowley’s gender and God bless them. Heck, there’s a team of people on Discord who are on any given day ripping the Bentley down to its studs and building it back up again. Feel free to explore while you seek out your passionate topic but don’t feel the need to tackle all of them. You’ll find the one that you fit best in. 

You do not have to solve the S3 plot puzzle by yourself. You have to find two pieces, put them together, and then go find a buddy that also has two pieces and see if your pair of pairs makes a quartet. Literally. That’s what we’re doing here guys. It’s a team effort or nothing at all.

Organize your ideas into digestible segments

Great, so you learned something new, you have a tantalizing hypothesis, and you’re ready to write! But what does a good meta look like?

Your abstract (which I recommend you write last) will go at the top, followed by evidence in a logically progressive order that finally culminates in your conclusion. If you’ve ever written a five paragraph essay, you have these tools in your toolbox. And yes, sometimes you will even need to rebut counterarguments (“but Neil said” is the bane of my existence) just like your teacher taught you. But it shouldn’t be formatted like a five-paragraph essay. This is not an 8.5”x11” sheet of paper with 1” margins: this is Tumblr.

Walls of text are great and all but reading handicaps come in all flavors and I for one benefit greatly from having section headers that help me navigate a meta. I’m much less likely to read it if all I have to find my place by is paragraph breaks.

Section headers should tell me what the next paragraph or two are about, and if I read just the section headers, I should have a pretty good idea of what evidence you’re pulling from where and what conclusion you’re going to support with that evidence.

Here’s my opinion on gifs: if I need to see Michael Sheen’s micro-expressions to really understand your point, include it. If I just need a reminder of where we are in the story, or what a costume looks like, a still is fine and less distracting. For a lot of things, though, images are unnecessary. You’ll find the right balance but don’t overburden your written work with images. I think there are quite a few people who only read my work on Ao3 because they simply don’t like the Tumblr, image-centric format.

Have a main takeaway

What does all your evidence point to? It may feel like stating the obvious, but state it anyway. Put a little ribbon on top of this gift you have given to the fandom. Label it. Tell them exactly what your conclusion is from all this information you gathered.

…but don’t feel a need to draw a firm conclusion

In my meta Continuity Errors, I conclude that Crowley stops time in order to move something that was hidden in the bookshop out of the bookshop. I do not speculate on what exactly that something is that he moved. I don’t need to. By leading others down this path, I am tapping the collective resources of the hive mind to think about what exactly was hidden with the bookshop’s protection. They may have some information I don’t because they’ve been looking other places. Not having a hypothesis for this shouldn’t (and didn’t) stop me from publishing my work.

Go back to the top and write your intro/abstract

Have you written your main takeaway? Did you support it with evidence? Good. Now take that and write a 20-30 word elevator pitch that you’re going to put at the top of the meta so that people know what it’s about before they commit to 1,000-2,000 words of being led down the garden path. I have a bad habit of burying the lead, and I’m trying to break it. For a moment people were worrying about putting big revelations below the cut so that we’re not interfering with Neil, but I don’t think Neil has ever seen my work and I doubt he ever will, and at this time my opinion is that playing “hide the lead” is more of a hindrance to the fandom than helpful to protecting the integrity of the IP. So be bold. Tell people exactly where you’re going with this and a short roadmap of how you’re going to get there. You don’t necessarily have to “give away the goods” but the theme should be obvious. An okay-ish example of an abstract is the intro to my first meta. My abstract for Continuity Errors is decidedly more tongue-in-cheek. You'll find your own style.

Cite and Tag

If you read someone’s post and it gave you a great idea, cite them as inspo! It’s a feel-good moment for them and it ties the fandom together. If you’re relying on your own prior work or someone else’s work to support a point, link the piece and tag the author. You will probably want to start copying links to metas that you like into a doc or spreadsheet to make this easier. Check out mine to get an idea of how you could organize a spreadsheet, or check out this doc to see an alternative approach to meta database management.

Speaking of which: @cobragardens, @aprilodite, @drconstellation, @vidavalor, and @irispurpurea, your work appears in this... whatever exactly this is idk.

Recruit a Mentor/beta

Various Tumblrites have published comments or posts that they are willing to beta other people’s work. Reach out to those people before you need them and ask if, whenever you’ve written your next piece, if they wouldn’t mind taking a look at it? Have an upfront discussion about turnaround time. Most of us work, and have other obligations, so it’s unlikely we can look at a thing the minute you send it to us, even if we’re active on Tumblr at that moment. Some people have set days off that they know they’ll have time to curl up with a cup of tea and read the first draft of your meta; you may find that having a weekly schedule with someone pushes you to produce and improve at a pace you wouldn’t achieve under your own steam. Writing is a skill; you get better by practicing and getting constructive feedback.

Anyways, I hope someone finds this helpful: maybe meta-analysis seems like an intimidating thing to get into, but it shouldn’t be! This is a welcoming community with room for all shapes, sizes and flavors of contributions. If you have any follow-up questions about this piece, please feel free to drop them in my ask box!

[wolint]

CONGRATULATIONS!.

Job 11:14-19 MEV if iniquity is in your hand, put it far away, and do not let wickedness dwell in your tents; [15] for then you will lift up your face without blemish; yes, you will be steadfast and will not fear, [16] because you will forget misery, and remember it as waters that pass away, [17] and your life will be brighter than noonday, even your darkness will be as the morning. [18] You will trust because there is hope; yes, you will search about you, and you will look around and rest in safety. [19] Also you will lie down, and none will make you afraid; yes, many will court your favor.

Happy New Year! Welcome to the new year! Congratulations, we all made it! Unfortunately, we seem to think January alone or the first three months is the new year. Why can’t it be a new year always? A lot of people start the year by making “new year’s resolutions,” things they intend to either do or not do. Sadly, not many see this through. Some don’t even last until the end of January. It’s always good to start the year with plans and preparation, but we must remember that, as Psalm 37:5 says, only God can make our plans what they ought to be if we commit them to Him. Job’s impassioned speech to his friends could serve as our resolution, not just for the new year but for life generally. The Bible encourages us to examine our lives and resolve to change them if necessary (although not just at the beginning of a new year). Psalm 17:3 says that we should resolve to keep our speech pure, saying: “I have planned no evil; my mouth has not transgressed.” Ephesians 4:22-24 encourages us to put off our old selves—the “old self” that refused to trust and serve Christ earnestly. But we should be renewed or transformed in the mind, according to Romans 12:2, as we study and apply God’s Word and begin to think in new and right ways. The new year should be a new beginning for us in many ways, especially in spiritual things. We should endeavor to enter and remain in the new year with renewed minds. So many of us walked the proverbial wilderness in the last year, wishing, praying, and hoping that God would do something new for us. God is promising in Isaiah 43:19 that He is, and will do, something new for us—something unprecedented and wonderful, not just for the new year but always. We make resolutions that are often too unrealistic; however, so many of our resolutions fail. Resolutions are sometimes wishful thinking, with no way to make them happen. For example, you might resolve to make a million this year, but if you don’t have a job or a business, how do you plan to earn it? It probably isn’t going to happen. Other resolutions fail because we aren’t willing to make the sacrifices necessary to reach them. When we plan with God, as Proverbs 16:9 states, He directs and establishes our plans and paths, with little or no chance of failure. Even if you made resolutions, who holds you accountable for keeping them? No one! All too soon, we find ourselves falling off the bandwagon. But when we make godly plans, the scriptures hold us accountable to obedience. We must remember that, according to Romans 7:18, the real problem with not being able to sustain carnal resolutions is within us—within our hearts and minds. We’d all like to be better people, but no matter how hard we try, we find ourselves tripped up by our moral failures and weaknesses. Even Paul experienced this: “I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.” According to Deuteronomy 7:13, obedience to the covenant of God leads to blessings. Everything we would need, want, and desire in the new year is in the Lord. May it be a wonderful one. Prayer: Thank you, Lord, for the privilege of seeing 2025. Thank you for the gift of life. May the year be established and prosper by Your word and Spirit as I commit my life and everything into Your hands for godly perfection. In Jesus’ name, Amen. Follow the FRESH MANNA CHANNEL on Telegram: https://t.me/freshmdevo Follow the FRESH MANNA CHANNEL on WhatsApp: https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029Va8y5tqAjPXP6kZdoX1j EMAIL: TEEWOMENOFLIGHT@OUTLOOK.COM WOULD YOU CONSIDER PARTNERING WITH US TO REACH MORE PEOPLE? PLEASE CONSIDER SUPPORTING US TO UPGRADE OUR RECORDING EQUIPMENT TO ENHANCE THE QUALITY OF OUR EPISODES. ANY CONTRIBUTION, NO MATTER HOW SMALL, WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED. THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT AND GENEROSITY. SHALOM

[christianbelievers]

PREPARE TO BECOME GOD’S NEW MINISTERS

PREPARE TO BECOME GOD’S NEW MINISTERS (NOW…AND IN THE 1000 YEARS REIGN)

If you are a born again believer, the Bible says that you will rule and reign with Christ. Are we prepared for that? I don’t think many of us can truly fathom what that means, but it still remains a fact written in God’s Word.

Perhaps I should have asked “Is God preparing you for that?” I believe that’s exactly what He’s doing. There are parables that God uses to help us understand how He’s doing it. You can find one of them in Matthew 25:14-30, and there is a similar parable in Luke 19:11-27, among others.

In the Parable of the Talents, from Matthew’s Gospel, a man going on a journey left three of his servants with some of his money, presumably to care for their master’s estate while he was gone. Each was given a certain amount “each according to his ability”. One man was given 5 bags of gold, the second 2 bags, and the third 1 bag.

"After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them.” (Matthew 25:19) The first man used his 5 bags of gold to gain another 5. The second man used his 2 bags to gain 2 more. The master was thrilled. To both he said 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!” In the parable from Luke, the 2 men were given charge of cities, 5 for the one, and 2 for the second man.

In both of the parables, the 3rd men that were called in said that they had buried, or hidden the money that they were entrusted with. They both called their master a “hard man”, and claimed to be “afraid” of him. They said “I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed.” (Matthew 25:24) Both of these men’s share of the money was taken from them and given to the ones who had gained 5 bags more. But, not only were the bags of gold taken from the two men, they were also thrown out of their masters estates, and considered “worthless”.

So, what can we learn from these two parables? What did Jesus want the disciples, and us, to understand?

I believe the Lord wants us to understand first, that He wasn’t really talking about money, but knowledge, wisdom, and gifts that are to be used for His kingdom, such as evangelizing, and teaching. These gifts will help us to increase and build God’s kingdom. But there are many other gifts that God has endowed us with, but each according to our abilities. The list is long, but here are some of the gifts that some say are available within God’s Kingdom.

Prophecy, Pastor, Teaching, Wisdom, Knowledge, Exhortation, Discerning of Spirits, Giving, Helps, Mercy, Missionary, Evangelist, Hospitality, Faith, Leadership, Administration, Miracles, Healing, Tongues, Interpretation, Voluntary Poverty, Celibacy, Intercession, Exorcism, and Service. (This list is taken from the Wagner-Modified Houts Questionnaire)

Several of these gifts are disputed among some denominations, such as Miracles, Healing, Tongues, and Interpretation of Tongues. But I’m not going to debate any of the gifts. I only want to show the different ways that God uses us. One thing that I was surprised to see, is that Prayer was not in the list above. I personally think it’s one of the most important gifts of all. And is truly something that each of us can do, no matter what our abilities are.

In our preparation for ruling and reigning with Christ, I believe that these gifts will somehow help us now, and in the millennium, and perhaps even throughout eternity, but that is purely speculation on my part.

The first gifts that every believer receives from God are…the Holy Spirit, righteousness, grace, and eternal life. Glory to God and Amen for these wonderful gifts!

The Apostle Paul wrote on some of these gifts listed above. He said…

“In Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully."(Romans 12:5-8)

"Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. And God has placed in the church first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, of helping, of guidance, and of different kinds of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret? Now eagerly desire the greater gifts. And yet I will show you the most excellent way.” (1st Corinthians 12:27-31)

In that 12th chapter from 1st Corinthians, Paul also tells us how important it is for all of us to work together, as one body in Christ. We all need each other, and the gifts that each of us has. That’s why he said “Are all prophets? Are all teachers?” God’s Kingdom needs ALL the gifts, not just those of prophet and teacher, and so on. And there are no small gifts in God’s Kingdom. Now, no matter how inconsequential your gift might seem, it is priceless to God, and should be used to the best of your ability. To do this, we must remain open and connected to the Holy Spirit who works in us to accomplish these things. One thing that we should remember, is that it is God who is accomplishing our good works in the Spirit. So, as the Word says…

“It is because of him (God) that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: "Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord." (1st Corinthians 1:30-31)

Notice the last verse of chapter 12… “And yet I will show you the most excellent way.” Now, turn the page… “If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.” (1st Corinthians 13:2)

Probably the most important trait that you and I can have as members of the Body of Christ is love, especially when it comes to using our gifts. We must try to have the same compassion for people that Jesus had.

God’s love often tears down barriers between people. And one important thing to remember, is that many in this world have not experienced a lot of love in their lives. I think that’s why Jesus was so successful when He talked with “tax collectors and sinners”. He didn’t look down on them, and neither should we. At one time we were all sinners, so we should have sympathy for others, no matter what.

Now, the man who went on the journey is a picture of Jesus when he ascended to Heaven. As Matthew Henry pointed out, these men knew that the “master” would be coming back, so they wanted to make sure that whether he came back in a couple of days, or a couple of months, they would be able to show him how diligent they were in putting his money to work.

I believe the Lord wants us to realize that being a Christian is not about just reading the Bible. It’s about becoming the Bible. It’s about learning to become more like Jesus. We should pray that our faith will be expressed in good deeds toward our fellow man, and especially towards our brothers and sisters in Christ, and for God’s glory, not our own. I remember being on a repair job several years ago, when a woman, in her 80’s, walked up and gave me a glass of water. She knew I was a Christian so she said…

“And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones who is my disciple, truly I tell you, that person will certainly not lose their reward." (Matthew 10:42)

It may not seem like a lot, but in God’s eyes she was being obedient to His Word. This is all that He asks us to do…to be obedient to His Word. Remember…

“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:29-30)

Many think that being a Christian means “rules and regulations”. The men who were only given one talent must have thought their masters were the same, all about “rules and regulations”, hard men. So they hid their talents, so they wouldn’t lose them. (Matthew Henry) Why these men thought this way about their masters is hard to say. But in this parable Jesus is comparing these men to people in the world who think being a Christian is hard, and that God is a God who throws lighting bolts at us every time we goof up. If that were the case I would be scorched beyond recognition.

But our God is a God of love. So, as the chapter about love says…

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (1st Corinthians 13:4-8)

As I said, God’s love breaks down barriers. Perhaps you and I can break down a few of them before it’s all over.

The Apostle Peter wrote…

“The end of all things is near. Therefore be alert and of sober mind so that you may pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.” (1st Peter 4:7-11)

Note Peters first words above… “The end of all things is near.” How much closer can we be now to the end of all things if Peter said the end was near almost 2000 years ago?

It’s time for us to be preparing for God’s Eternal Kingdom. We can start by spending quality time with God each day in prayer and Bible study. I say study, because we need to go beyond just reading what the Word says, now we need to understand how to apply its teachings to our lives. The more we do that, the more we will begin to look and act like Jesus.

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” (Matthew 7:13-14)

Are you one of the few? Are you ready? Are we preparing ourselves for what God has planned for us? Will we rule over 10 cities, or maybe 5? With Christ in us we will rule and reign with love and compassion.

Right now, take a moment to pray. Ask the Lord how you can use your gifts. Is it by helping others, teaching them, encouraging them? The Lord knows the plans that He has for you.

“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Ask Him to show you where, to whom, and how you can use your gifts. It won’t be long now until we hear those words… “Well done, good and faithful servant! Come and share your master's happiness!”

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” (1st Corinthians 13:13)

God Bless!

[rileyslibrary]

I got you, don’t worry. I cropped everything out and covered the character’s name and other details in case anyone pins it back to you. I wanted to reply publicly since this might help someone in the same position as you. Also, please know that I deleted the ask so there’s no trace of you in my ask box, in case you feel uncomfortable. I hope you see this.

FYI, I’m returning after I wrote this just to let you know that this is probably one of the longest replies I’ve given. I think refraining from writing is making me compose chapter-length responses. Also, I had a beer while writing this, so please accept my sincere apologies if it’s too “chattery.”

You’re not asking for my assistance, although your message feels like a desperate plea for help. I think I can do that for you. You don’t want to? Too bad.

So, let's start with the writing part and then move on to the hate (eek!)

If you read/watched/studied the material and generally did your homework, as you say, then maybe you can go back to studying and see if you missed something. I, personally, won’t critique your work since I’m nothing but an apprentice myself. I won’t act as a know-it-all.

Something I personally like to do as I write, though, is to keep the campaign or cutscenes from Ghost playing in the background. Or, I try to be conscious, and ask myself questions like “Why am I making him do that thing? Is it something he would naturally do, based on what I studied? Or is it something I would do, and I’m projecting it on him instead? Am I making him do/say that just to progress the story, and I’m not thinking clearly?”

Also, don’t study only what the characters say. Observe their facial expressions. Their posture. Even if they are somewhere in the background, just standing. And, he doesn’t have to be perfect, mind you. I mean, what are you gonna do? Plagiarise the freaking canon?! No; Close enough is good enough.

I already replied to a request regarding writing, by the way. You can find it under the writing tag in this blog.

Now, if we’re talking about anons/readers who act as self-proclaimed undisputed authorities with biases and strong opinions, I’m afraid there’s nothing you can do here. I mean it’s not the game developers who creep into your inbox/comments. Or the character himself.

It’s just… a hater. *dun, dun, duuuuun*

Like, it’s one thing not to like a person’s writing/story/content and another to criticise and spew hate while forcing your own personal opinions as if they are the bible.

The first one is normal, reasonable and reversible, believe it or not since you can move on and forget that that fic ever existed.

The second is *shivers* tacky.

Listen, though: if you have already made up your mind (stopping writing altogether), I 100% support you. You shouldn’t feel pressured to do so just because there’s a new game coming up. (I think that’s what you meant?)

But if you want to start writing again and decide to revisit the source material and apply the things suggested above, it’d be better to reform your relationship with this kind of feedback because me telling you that these people don’t matter won’t do you any good. It’s not a reasonable explanation. Sometimes, we want other people’s feedback; that’s why we share what we do.

The reality is that there are people out there who are deeply troubled. They have issues with their families, their jobs, themselves, and god knows what else. They are in pain, and they don’t know how (or don’t have the means) to help themselves. Sometimes, this pain is beyond them, so instead of doing something to solve their problems actively, they displace it onto others.

Seriously, babe, it’s a thing. Here, look:

Displacement is a defence mechanism that involves an individual transferring negative feelings from one person or thing to another.

Example: “My father screams at me, but i can’t scream back at him because he is an ‘authority’. I’m in pain, so, as a result, I choose to scream at this less-threatening person who happens to be a stranger online.”

Mind you, this is beyond their comprehension, NOT because they are stupid, but because they never learned that this is an unhealthy way to cope.

So next time this happens, don’t get angry or upset. Empathise with them.

Hurt people, hurt people.

And if all else fails, just do what I do and block them; that’s what I do 🤷🏻‍♀️. Just don’t attack back and don’t reply; let it end there.

[atheostic]

I'm interested to hear how educated you are on the differences between judaism and christianity, especially how their value systems, i saw your conversation with rose and it was nice to see someone questioning theism without being condescending and acting like theists are bad people

Hey, sorry for taking a while to respond.

I'll readily admit that I'm way more familiar with how atheist Jews view the differences between the two religions than I am with how theist Jews view it. I consciously seek out atheist Jews' interpretations and views of Judaism and Judaism vs, Christianity partly because, as an atheist myself, I want to hear what other atheists have to say. The other part is that I find that atheists in general don’t have hangups about calling out the bad stuff in their past culture/religion so you get to actually hear about the problems (which every religion without exception has – just like they all have good parts too).

I know that Christianity started out as a denomination of Judaism (there were heated discussions in the early days of Christianity over whether one had to convert to Judaism before being considered a Christian). I know that if Bible!Jesus is an accurate portrayal of a real historical figure he didn’t intend to create a new religion but rather to reform Judaism. That being said, I also know that, much like how language dialects eventually become distinct enough to be separate languages, it has been a VERY long time since Christianity was part of Judaism. It has some aspects that are similar, but for the most part it’s now its own thing (kind of like how all Great Apes share similarities but are clearly different species).

I know (thanks to Karyn Glasser) that the main similarity between Christianity and Judaism is that the Old Testament and the Torah are mostly the same text when compared side by side, with the biggest difference being how some stuff is organized. That being said, in theology you’re supposed to treat each religion’s text as unique even if they’re literally word-for-word identical, which is why I always explicitly refer to the two texts as being separate.

I know that, while part of their holy texts are virtually identical, how Christianity vs Judaism approaches their holy texts is very very different. Traditionally in Judaism, the Torah is meant to be a living text, which means that things being open to interpretation was a feature, not a bug. As far as ancient Israelites were concerned, if there was no new meaning to be found in the text then the text was dead and useless. Christianity, on the other hand, likes to view their holy text as a lot more cemented (“my way or the highway” if you will)... though it doesn’t keep people from interpreting it six ways from Sunday anyway. The inflexibility in Christianity is likely part of why violence and animosity between denominations seems to be much higher than in Judaism.

I also know that how most Jews view God is very different from how most Christians view God; Jews aren’t typically afraid to be like “Yeah, that thing he did was an asshole move, God’s a dick sometimes” whereas most Christians consider God to be all-good and perfect and above reproach, so to say he did something bad breaks their brain. I remember seeing this post once where a Jewish person was basically like “whether good or bad, since everything happens according to God’s will I hold him responsible for what happens in my life”. Jews also don’t typically have a hangup about arguing with god (which makes for a much healthier dynamic in my opinion).

From my personal experience, it seems that Jews tend to be a lot more relaxed and have a more playful attitude toward religion that white North American* Christians. Jews, for example, will get into fun friendly debates over whether it’d be kosher for a vampire to drink pig’s blood if it was to avoid drinking from a human (if memory serves about that post someone asked their rabbi and they said yes) or whether it’d be okay for a dragon to light the shammash using their breath. North American Christians, on the other hand, tend to be way more serious when it comes to how they approach theology in general.

That being said, of course there are exceptions in both cases, as no group is monolithic and people are hella complicated. From what I’ve read and from what I’ve heard from Jews on Tumblr, Orthodox Jews tend to be more Christian-y in how they approach the Torah in that compared to other denominations they tend to take things a lot more literally. I remember reading an article once about how some bigwig in the Canadian Orthodox Jewish community had suggested not taking Genesis too literally and it was a big scandal.

And because no group is monolithic, it’s worth emphacizing that what I know about Jewish culture is primarily from a North American viewpoint (and mostly American at that), and therefore what I know isn’t applicable to all Jews as a whole (I recently got s book for the school library I work at all about how Passover is celebrated differently around the world, so it’d be silly for me to think that how Jews approach Judaism would be monolithic).

And all this is, of course, when talking about theist Jews. Because since Judaism is an ethnoreligion it’s possible to be both an atheist and a Jew at the same time. And how atheist Jews approach Judaism as a religion varies wildly (not surprising, since getting atheists of any kind to agree on anything beyond the nonbelief in any deities is like herding cats). Some, like the previously-mentioned Karyn Glasser, sometimes go to worship services as a way to connect with their culture and ancestors. One of my colleagues sometimes goes to the synagogue if there’s a party going on because “who doesn’t love a good party?”. Others, like an Israeli  caller to the Atheist Experience a while ago, think that atheist Jews should be referred to by a different word than theist Jews because their perspective regarding the religion is so different (his suggestion was for atheist Jews to be known as “Hebrews”). Others don’t care about the religion aspect at all but still celebrate the holidays as a tie to their culture. Yet others aren’t tied to their culture or religion at all. 

* No topic is taboo about being made fun of in Brazilian culture, so how Brazilian Christians approach religion is very different and much closer to how I’ve seen Jews approach religion.

[angeltreasure]

hii, could you pray that i actually start going to mass? i'm the only one in my family that believes in Catholicism (getting baptised in november!! so excited!) and while they do agree to take me to mass if i want to, i always feel a bit intimidated and end up not going :(, i think i would really benefit from going and spending time with God, so i could really use some prayers

thanks q lot ♡ have a blessed day 🕊

I will keep you in my prayers!

It can be intimidating especially if you are the only one going alone, and so new to it. My best advice is: don’t rush the process. You are not required to be perfect and know all that there is in order to go to Mass or to be baptized. The beauty of the Catholic faith is that we are always like students.

Sit in the back pews when you go and don’t let your worries scare you. No one should stop you at the doors (if they do it’s mean, find another Catholic Church). Sometimes a Mass won’t be perfect either, with distractions around us from people talking, babies and children crying, a cellphone accidentally not being on silent, maybe the homily isn’t so helpful or good, sometimes readers will read the wrong page or they may not say what page to read or sing, maybe the people around you won’t smile. Don’t worry.

Jesus is truly present body, blood, soul, and divinity in the consecrated Eucharist. He’s in that very tabernacle at the altar and waits there for you, He waits there in the Communion hosts and wine, He waits in the monstrance at Eucharistic Adoration. Jesus loves us so much He gave His life to pay for the penalty of our sins, and He loves you. If you feel intimidated, there is also livestreams of Mass you can go to online to help you get a better idea of the Mass. if you are in RCIA, definitely ask any questions you have and they will help ease any doubts or questions you bring up, and welcome you with open arms.

.//////////.//////////.//////////////////

Things I recommend that may help you (not to overwhelm you but to give you ideas):

- read the Bible (start with the Gospels of the New Testament). You don’t have to read big chunks but try a couple of verses a day. Try to read it slowly and place yourself into the story like a movie in your mind. This is a great way to meditate and pray on what is being said.

- Bible Hub is awesome for your phone.

- the Catechism of the Catholic Church is a great book that explains why we do what we do as Catholics—- even parts of the Mass. don’t be intimidated by its size. I use it as a reference book by opening the back index.

- try the Bible in a Year podcast by Fr. Mike Schmitz. He will read to you and help you see the Bible through a Catholic lense.

- listen to Relevant Radio. Download the app. Stays very close to the faith and they have past episodes you can listen to on a variety of topics!

- Watch past runs of Mother Angelica Live on YouTube. She was awesome at talking down to our level easy to understand.

- watch livestreams of Mass online.

- try sitting physically in the back of the church pews at Mass.

- try Mass at different times and locations. Sometimes that’s all we need is a change of pace, people, and scenery to help us connect better.

- if you have questions don’t be afraid to reach out to your Catholic priest. He’ll be happy to answer your questions.

- sometimes it can help us feel good if we invite friends, coworkers, or family to Mass with us. They don’t have to be Catholic to go with you either.

- if friends, coworkers, and family won’t go with you, I found a good way to find a sense of community in the church is seeing what events they do outside of Mass. Every parish is different. It can be as simple of coffee and donuts, a fish fry dinner, and a place and time to drop of food or clothing donations. Other events are longer like Bible studies, retreats, guest speakers, Rosary making, cultural events, volunteer events, etc etc. You may be surprised in who you meet!

- don’t forget self care. Take care of your health by getting good sleep, drink plenty of water, eat healthy, exercise, etc.

- don’t stop praying. You don’t need to do big complex prayers. Start small and simple.

- Eucharistic Adoration in person.

Remember that I love you and God loves you. May God bless you. 🙏🏻

[watchingspnagain]

Rewatching I Know What You Did Last Summer

Welcome to “A Nice Smoky Eye Is the Key to Good Mental Health, But There’s Also Nothing Like a Good Defenestration: A Supernatural Rewatch Blog” with Lor and Mace!

 Up today, s4e9: I Know What You Did Last Summer

 Ruby clues the boys into the case of a young woman who has escaped a psychiatric hospital and who is being hunted by demons. Sam is ready to go check it out, but Dean needs some convincing—he’s still super sus about all things Ruby. When they find the woman, Anna, she tells them she can overhear the angels talking to one another, that this power started the same day Dean escaped hell, and that they think Dean can help them but most of them don’t like Sam at all. Several fights with bad news demons later (and after the revelation that Dean remembers one of them, Alastair, from his time in hell), Sam, Dean, Anna, and Ruby are holed up in a barn when Anna declares “they’re coming” just before Cas Floof Hair and Uriel Shit-Stirrer arrive. Cas declares that Anna must die. Roll credits. Interspersed throughout the episode are flashbacks to Sam’s time alone while Dean was in hell. We learn that Ruby is inhabiting an empty vessel at Sam’s request, that she saved his life, and that they are knocking boots. Dean is very slightly appeased about her, having learned that she saved Sam.

 Below is a log of our real-time reactions as we watched. Remember that there may be spoilers for any part of SPN’s 15-season run here. Note also that the nature of our conversation is adult and thus it may contain adult language and themes.

[and we begin:]

 Lor:

 god, uriel, you're such a PAIN

 Mace:

 he really really is

Mace:

 ugh. HER.

 Lor:

 lol yep

 tacos

she was trying to warn them about tacos

 Mace:

 SNORK

 amazing how she manages to keep her smoky eyes in the mental hospital

 Lor:

 i love that she says "kind of" when she asks if it's like from the bible

 LOL

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

 and that is one hell of a nicely fitted t shirt she has there

 Mace:

 VERY TRUE

i do love a snug v-neck on a gal

 Lor:

 YES

 Mace:

 wow, Debbie Downer much?

 Lor:

 LOL

 I LOVE WHEN WE GET TO SEE THEM DO THIS KIND OF THING

 Mace:

 YASYASYASYAS

 Lor:

 oooooh Sam Dean is so maaaad

 Mace:

 “keep the money?!” oh Dean

 Lor:

 I think Dean enjoys DOING the hustle at least as much as he likes the money

 Mace:

 YES

 Lor:

 omg the glare Dean is giving Sam from the background when he asks for the hospital name

 Mace:

 YAS

 Dean gets bitch-facey about Ruby

 Lor:

 okay, Sam is right to be annoyed with him but I'm not sure those stories are on the same level

 he DOES

 Mace:

 Sam is equally bitch-sassy

 yeah

 Lor:

 I do love Sam's various bitchy sassy faces

 Mace:

 ME TOO

 Lor:

 this demon's just summarizing the show

 Mace:

 SNORK!!

 oooh badass Sammy

 Lor:

 YES

I love that slightly unhinged badass thing he does sometimes

 Mace:

 SAME

 these boys and their martyrdom kink for each other

 Lor:

 ah yes, the tried and true muscle building program: waiting behind the door

 YES

 Mace:

 HAHAHA

 “that’s just batty” and the look

 HAHAHA

 Lor:

 "it's a little known translation"

 YES

 Mace:

 SNORK!

 oh Dean’ll find her alright

 Lor:

 LOL

 omg Sammy's sigh like he was afraid of that and yeeep

 Mace:

 RIGHT?!

 that shot with Baby and the church

 Lor:

 I want a scene of the two of them changing clothes in the car

 YES

 Mace:

 omg YES

 Lor:

 DEAN WINCHESTER IS SAVED

 Mace:

 OOOF

 Lor:

 I mean, if the angel cries blood bc of demon presence, that could just be Ruby

 Mace:

 YUP

 Lor:

 stop hitting Dean!

 Mace:

 right?!

 and Dean’s showing the beating which means it’s bad

 Lor:

 omg the jump through the window!

 YES

 Mace:

 YAS

 LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO JUMP!

 Lor:

 ooof, yep it's bad, we even get the aftermath of fixing up

 Mace:

 oh SAMMY

 YES

those boys need tending to

 Lor:

 they DO

come here, Dean, I will ice your shoulder

 Mace:

 YAS

 Lor:

 I never thought of this before, but if Sam had died while Dean was in hell, presumably he would have gone to heaven and then they would have been separated FOREVER

 Mace:

 oh YOICKS

 Lor:

 right?

thanks, Brain

 Mace:

 except Dean would have found a way out of hell and sammy would have found a way to skip out of heaven to find Dean

 Lor:

 well, yeah

just like there's no way Dean left Cas in the Empty

 Mace:

 YEP

or that Sam just led a long life after Dean dies

 Lor:

 yep

 crappy student, huh?

 Mace:

 HA

 Lor:

 new head canon: Sam did brilliantly in college in everything EXCEPT courses that carried labs. he woulda flunked bio if Jess hadn't helped him

 Mace:

 interesting

 Lor:

 (i mean, we know he wasn't a crappy student)

 Mace:

 (true)

 “hey- i don’t wanna talk about it” Ah, that Winchester sharing

 Lor:

 i mean, like half of his girlfriends have been supernatural already, just go ahead Sam

 Mace:

HAHAHA right?!

 god, his shoulders

 Lor:

 YES

 lol poor Dean

 Mace:

 HAHAHA

 Sam’s concentrate-y/hurty face

 Lor:

 YES

 I'm fond of the neck in the v-neck

 Mace:

 YAS

 Lor:

 "sir, I've got clean towels"

 Mace:

 HAHAHA

 Lor:

 Dean is so confused

 Mace:

 HAHAHAHA YES HE IS

 Lor:

 "okay then. moment over?"

 Mace:

 SNORK DEAN

 omg Dean’s SMILE

 Lor:

 omg Sam saying thanks a lot and the look Dean gives him

 Mace:

 YAS

 Lor:

 OMG LOOK AT HIM LOOKIT HIS POOFY HAIR

 Mace:

 CAS!!!

 YAS

 and his stupid beautiful lips

 Lor:

 YAAAS

 oh DANG I FORGOT this was a two parter. and I was not paying ANY attention to how much ep we'd watched

 Mace:

 HAHAHA SAME

 Lor:

 EVIL

that might have been the last ep before the winter hiatus when it aired, too, just based on the ep number. EVIL

 Mace:

 right!?

[wandaluvstacos]

THE ONLY SECONDS THAT MATTER

CHAPTER FOURTEEN IS UP!

Genre: Contemporary Romance Rating: 18+

Includes: Extensive horse nerdery + cowboys, mxm romance (1 trans + 1 cis), some discussion child abuse, some instances of trans/homophobia (it is rural Oklahoma, y'all), depression, occasional sex scene (but it’s a slow burn for sure)

Victor Ortiz-Bennett had some reservations about moving to Oklahoma, but his late aunt willed him a 70-acre horse farm, and he decides to fulfill his dream of running and operating his own training facility. Victor’s been around the reining horse show circuit for a while, and he’s ready to settle down, travel less, and spend more time with the horses he loves and away from the people he can do without. That is, until he picks up a horse at an auction with a bucking problem he can’t fix, and he has to take her to the one guy who can ride anything– Johnny Stearns, a retired professional rodeo rider.

Johnny Stearns is loud, chatty, eccentric, and fears nothing, exactly Victor’s opposite. However, Victor finds himself sinking into an odd friendship with this new foul-mouthed cowboy without a filter, diving deeper into the mess that is Johnny’s life until there’s no way to extract himself from it. Johnny may talk a tough game, but there’s more to him than he’ll let most people see. Victor knows getting in too deep will mean a rough ride, but if there’s anything Johnny’s taught him, it’s how to stay in the saddle.

Excerpt:

What are you doing here?” Victor asked.

“Uh, well…” Johnny cleared his throat, sounding unsure of himself. “I came with Sarah. You remember Sarah?”

“Your friend from high school?”

“Yeah, her sister’s… you know. Gay. So she asked if I wanted to come with her and I figured it might be fun.”

Victor stared at him, still too stunned for the information to sink in. When it did, the heart in his throat slowly started drifting back down into his chest. “Oh. So you’re not—I mean. This is just for Sarah’s sister. You know her?”

“She’s nice, yeah. She and Sarah are close.” Johnny paused, turning to stare out into the darkness for a moment. An announcer could be heard in the distance as the crowd clapped. “I guess this means you’re, uh—”

“Gay? Yeah.” It felt weird to say it out loud. After coming out as trans to his family back in California, he’d fallen out of practice with the act of talking about it. He’d been terrified of Johnny knowing, afraid that Johnny would reject him and the friendship they’d built over months would be reduced to rubble. A glimmer of hope spread through him, because even if Johnny was only here as some kind of straight ally for his friend’s sister, it meant that he could accept Victor for who he was, and Victor didn’t have to go through all the hoops required to hide it.

“I didn’t know that,” Johnny muttered. “You coulda told me.”

“I didn’t know how you felt about gay people,” Victor admitted. Should he also tell him he was trans? May be it was best to do one thing at a time, really test the waters before diving in. “This is rural Oklahoma. Can’t blame me for being paranoid.”

“I know I’m dumb white trash, but I ain’t no Bible thumper. It don’t matter to me.”

Victor let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. “That’s great. I’m glad to hear it.”

“I never even thought—I mean you don’t act—” Johnny cut himself off and cleared his throat again. “I ain’t about to put my foot in my mouth, but you know what I mean.”

Victor had to laugh a little. “I can be gayer, I’m just stealthy for safety reasons.”

“Yeah, I get that.” Johnny paused again. “You’re a decent calf roper.”

“Thanks. It’s not really my forte, but I thought I’d give it a shot.”

“You here with Jade?”

“No, I came alone.”

“You need help with anythin’?”

“Nah, I’m good. Thank you though.”

Johnny turned toward the trailer, glancing toward the truck and then back. “This thing got livin’ quarters in it?”

“It’s just a small space, but yeah.”

Johnny’s response didn’t come immediately, but finally he faced Victor and asked, “Can I take a look?”

[adultswim2021]

Aqua Teen Hunger Force #78: “Bible Fruit” | March 23, 2008 - 11:45PM | S06E09

I’m thinking I might just put a CLOSED TUESDAYS in the blog description, because that’s the day I’m most likely to miss.

Look, it is ever-so-much my instinct to snark away at this one, acting all sarcastically incredulous that David Cross is making fun of religion and all of that. David Cross is a person I once revered and a person and is still, roughly, a guy I admire despite the fact that I no longer think everything he does is pure gold. Some of what he does, incredibly, sorta sucks. It’s true that I think this, but it is also true that I like him, and would not like it if he read this and felt hurt by me saying that. I even follow him on twitter, even though his tweets are bad. 

But this is a decent episode. It starts strong, and it stays fairly strong even though my instinct is to groan when the premise of “religious talking fruit and one of them is voiced by David Cross” comes up in the episode. I think a good reason for this is that the opening scene, where Frylock is updating his Myspace profile and Shake is being annoying, and Meatwad won’t shut up about Futurama, is so funny. This entire scene is precious, and filled with very funny lines. Don’t make me repeat them. You simply must believe me. Please consult your paperback copy of AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE: THE COMPLETE TELEPLAYS VOLUME THREE from Pantheon.

Frylock meets up with his new online pals, a trio of fruits who introduce themselves as very religious. They quickly reveal that they have dark pasts, and immediately begin succumbing to their various demons. They Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf Meatwad and Frylock out of house and home. And it’s all reasonably funny, despite not being that interested in hearing David Cross act all snidely about Jesus Christ, my personal lord and savior. They are all voiced by David Cross, H. John Benjamin, and Kristen Schall. THEY ARE FAMOUS.

This episode is most notable for having a spin-off: Soul Quest Overdrive, which uses the same cast (plus Gavin McInnes because all funny trios require a Mike TheCoolPerson) but instead of making them be fruits, they are sports equipment. I wonder why they did that? I hope I remember to research this whenever that show comes on.