#And actually not being afraid of sharing how i feel and my opinions and such
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aspoonofsugar · 2 days ago
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I think Ice Queendom really grounded a lot of my WK headcanons and what it would mean for Weiss and Jaune in the canon timeline. The way they’re foiled in that show is one of my favorite additions.
They’re both dealing with their identity in a specific way related traditional gender roles and in a way that they think their family might want, and based on the knights/maidens they idealized in their families and from fairy tales. Jaune is afraid of not living up to this toxic masculine image of what he thinks a huntsman is meant to be like the men in his family he looks up to and this translates to a fear of being worthless. On the inside he’s a terrified child oppressed by his legacy and the disappointment/scorn of his family for being a liar and a coward.
In Weiss’s nightmare she projects the image of who she believes she’s meant to be (Ice Queen), while neglecting the other parts of herself she projects onto others. Like Jaune, she’s also still a terrified child in a way. She locks that part of her away because she doesn’t want to be vulnerable. But she also projects the gender normative standards of “Knights” and “Maidens” onto two other people in her dream - Jaune and Pyrrha.
Pyrrha is the ideal Maiden. She’s idealized in her dream world more than anyone else. She’s elegant and beautiful. She sings “Mirror, Mirror.” She essentially speaks to Weiss’s own deep-seated insecurity of not being able to live up to her standards of perfection. Pyrrha actually connects the pairing in her nightmare in a way not dissimilar to how she does in canon.
Jaune is different… as one of the dream NPCs he’s nothing special at all. But when Jaune himself comes into her dream world, he is decked out in a special cape and a giant sword that repels the Nightmare. But he is too weak to lift it. Weiss believes Jaune is too weak and unworthy of his weapon. It speaks both to Weiss’s opinion of Jaune as a person, but also to her own feelings about herself. She had to kill a knight to be free of her Father’s patriarchal prison. She had to essentially become her own knight to save herself (the princess) from her tower. But she also feels she is unworthy of her name unless she lives up to a certain standard, which is why she thinks lowly of Jaune here because he so clearly doesn’t, and why she foists that aspects of herself onto him in her nightmare.
But then why does Jaune have the sword? Because Weiss saw that Pyrrha (her idealized “Maiden”) placed her faith in him. So, as much as she denies it, Jaune has the potential to be a “knight in shining armor”, and some unconscious part of Weiss recognizes that potential. And that’s more or less the burden Jaune struggles to lift in the nightmare. He has the potential to be Weiss’s knight, but he’s not yet worthy. And this story isn’t about him. It’s when Jaune integrates with both the feminine (Pyrrha) and the inner child (the mini Weiss’s) that he can lift the sword to destroy the corrupted “knight” of Weiss’s father to be overcome to help free her from the nightmare. This, too, mirrors Weiss’s slaying of the Arma Gigas in the White trailer. And this is also what Weiss needs to do too to finally be free of the nightmare she’s stuck in. Both Weiss and Jaune need to integrate with those neglected parts of themselves to become the best versions of themselves. They do it a bit in the climax of Ice Queendom and maybe they’ll do it completely in canon too.
Hi!
I love this analysis, thank you for sharing it :D
I agree, the White Knight's foiling is one of my favorite details of the Ice Queendom anime!
I remember loving how the story
Juxtaposes Jaune's knightmare to Weiss's
Highlights how Ruby and Jaune are the people Weiss needs in juxtaposition with Pyrrha, as the one Weiss wants
Has Jaune find a relic, which highlights Jaune's potential to properly connect with Weiss in the future
Has Jaune fight together with Pyrrha and the mini-Weiss at the very end, which symbolically foils Arkos and White Knight :''')
I don't really have anything else to add to your beautiful thoughts!
Thank you for writing them!
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limielle · 1 year ago
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idk i feel like so much discourse could be easily minimized if people learned to say "i think" instead of "it is"
#like “i think this is a bad game” is way less abrasive/aggressive than “this is a bad game”#do u know where im going w this like#it's literally 2 extra words and it could avoid like 99% of confrontation#ofc there would still be people who are like “omg how can u hate smth i like ur trash” but idk i feel like so much of this discourse u see#on twt especially#is like ? just people being deliberately aggressive abt stuff they dont like to antagonise others and then going “its just my opinion”#and it's hard to read tone online so it's often hard for me (and im sure for others ?? idk actually) to read whether or not sm1 is being#like. just sharing what they think vs them trying to bait out people who will defend smth they like#idk ive been trying to find ffxiv people to follow bc getting back into the game and finally being confident in my art to draw for it also#has me looking for ppl to follow but i wanna avoid the big livetweet first time experiencers and unfortunately that leaves#a lot of people who are afraid of dawntrail/unhappy with the current patch quests#of which i am neither and i also dont want to log on to the internet every day just to see ppl shitting on things u know ?#and i have seen a LOT of like#'x sucked' and 'fandom lacks critical reading skills' and whatnot#but then u see what theyre talking abt and all theyre doing is shitting on the game itself or going 'x expansion was mid'#like . if u stopped phrasing ur opinions as objective fact i feel like maybe ud avoid half those arguments id k???#just words#SORRY im talkative today the truth is i worked on a drawing veyr hard and i do not have the strength to colour it but it will not look good#without colour and i feel like i cant move on without it so i went and replayed shadowbringers instead and cried a lot#and now i have lots of icarus feelings again#WOW loiok at me writing an essay out here i overshare so much im sorry
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vanteguccir · 14 days ago
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── ୨୧ ! TOO MUCH
chris sturniolo x reader
SUMMARY: Where Matt and Nick say some hurtful things to Chris during a fight, bringing his insecurities to life and causing him to turn to his anchor, Y/N.
WARNING: Insecurities, fighting, crying, anxiety attack.
REQUESTED?: Yes, by anon.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism, copy, or "inspiration"! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.
   ༻✦༺  ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺
The noise in the living room had escalated from playful teasing in front of the camera to sharp, biting words. Chris stood behind the kitchen table, his hands clenched into fists at his sides as he glared at Matt and Nick, who were both looking at him from the other side of the table with expressions caught between frustration and exasperation.
"Do you ever think before you act, Chris?" Matt's voice was, surprisingly, raised, an edge of impatience in his tone. "We can’t get through one day without you doing something childish and making a scene, or worse, making our videos look like shit because of it!"
Chris’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t respond immediately, his eyes darting between his brothers, trying to make sense of how things had gotten so out of hand.
"I wasn’t trying to do anything." He muttered finally, his voice barely above a whisper laced with hurt. "I was just... being myself."
"Yeah, exactly." Nick jumped in, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. "And that’s the problem. You’re always yelling and doing the most, Chris. It’s just... exhausting, okay?"
Chris clenched his fists, jaw tight as he glared at Nick, feeling himself crumbling a bit because sure, he’s too much. Sure, he speaks too loud and had opinions about everything and wasn’t afraid to share them, even if they were about the silliest things. Sure, he feels cornered and childish and immature and annoying, and most of what they're saying is probably true, but hearing his own brothers say it out loud... it pains his heart.
"You know, that’s actually rich coming from you." He shot back, his voice carrying a frustration he couldn’t hold back, trying to disguise his pain with anger. "You’re always the first to say that people watch us because we’re different, because even though we look the same, we're still different. But all you ever do is complain that I’m not just like you or Matt!”
Nick’s expression shifted, taken aback by Chris’s words. But Nick wasn’t one to back down, his voice snapping back almost before Chris had finished speaking.
"That’s not what I’m saying at all!" He fired, eyes narrowing. "Is it so insane to want you to stop yelling and acting like a literal child in every video? We’re trying to be professional, Chris! People like us, yeah, but they won’t if you keep acting like-"
Chris dragged a hand over his face, pressing the heel of his palm into his forehead, trying to shut out Nick’s words, trying to drown out the overwhelming feeling of being misunderstood.
"... and we can’t keep dealing with it, Chris. Grow the fuck up."
The youngest felt his chest tighten even more. His greatest insecurity - one that clawed at his chest every night when he couldn’t sleep, when the silence around him became deafening - was now on full display, brutally brought to life by the people he trusted most.
The internet was relentless in labeling him as "the weird one", the "annoying triplet", just because he was loud and talked too much, just because he was unapologetically himself. He’d laugh it off, of course, joke about it even because it was easier to pretend it didn’t bother him. But deep down, those words haunted him, scraping at the edges of his self-worth, making him wonder if maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t enough.
And now, hearing Matt and Nick throw those same words at him... he felt hollow. Like all the air had been knocked from his lungs. They knew. They knew how those comments got to him, how hard he tried to ignore it, to rise above the criticism.
"Fine." He said bitterly, hating how his voice trembled slightly as he struggled to keep his emotions in check. "I’ll get out of your way, then."
He pushed his weight off of the table, preparing himself to get out of there, but as Chris stormed away, Nick's frustration boiled over, and he turned to Matt, his voice sharp and incredulous.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" He hissed, his eyes flashing with a mixture of anger and disbelief.
But Chris kept walking, his shoulders tense as he made his way to the stairs, refusing to let himself look back. His brothers’ voices felt like static at this point, blending into the background as he forced himself to keep going.
Behind him, Matt muttered under his breath, an edge of impatience creeping in.
"Why is he being so dramatic?" He called, exasperation evident in his tone. "Chris, just come back, man! Let’s finish this video."
But Chris didn’t even slow down. Each word felt like salt in a wound he was struggling to ignore, a constant reminder that he wasn’t on the same level as them, that they were all looking at him like he was the problem.
Maybe he was.
As he went down the stairs, his mind was racing, every emotion simmering just below the surface.
His hands trembled slightly as he reached his bedroom door, a mix of anger, shame, and sadness twisting in his chest, his breath hitching as he struggled to keep it together. He wanted to scream, to push all the hurt away.
Finally, he opened the door and stepped inside.
Y/N - curled up on his bed with notebooks spread around her and laptop balanced on her knees - looked up instantly, a huge smile spreading across her face as she noticed him, her expression so genuinely happy to see him that it made his heart ache even more.
"Hi, honey! How was filming?" She greeted brightly, unaware of the turmoil written across his face.
But her smile faltered quickly as she took in his red-rimmed eyes, the way his face seemed almost haunted, his body tense and trembling as he stood frozen in the doorway. She blinked, worry flashing across her features.
"Chris? Hey, what happened?" The girl whispered, and her words were like a lifeline, breaking the dam he’d tried so hard to keep in place.
She was quick in put her work together, placing her notebooks and laptop gently onto the floor beside her, leaving it all opened for her to come back to it later, her arms instinctively opening up to him.
"Come here, baby."
Without another thought, Chris crossed the room and collapsed into her open arms, sinking onto the bed as if the weight of the world had become too much for him to bear alone.
His arms wrapped tightly around her waist, his face burrowing into her shoulder as if he could somehow hide from everything that had been clawing at him. His legs slid between her thighs, his body curling into hers, every part of him drawn in close, seeking refuge in the only place that felt safe.
Y/N didn’t say anything at first. She could feel the way his shoulders shook, the silent sobs racking through him as he tried to hold back, his breath catching painfully against her neck. She held him even tighter, her hands slipping up to cradle the back of his head, her fingers threading gently through his fluff hair as she pressed soft, reassuring kisses to his forehead, his temple, anywhere she could reach.
"Shh... It’s okay, sweetheart." She murmured softly, pressing her lips to his line of hair. "I'm here. You're safe. Just breathe, Chris. Just breathe, baby."
But Chris felt anything but safe in his own skin. Shame and hurt twisted inside him, tightening like a vice around his chest. He tried to fold himself even smaller, curling tighter into her, trying to somehow look smaller for a 5'8 grown man, pressing his body as close to hers as he could.
He wanted to disappear, to melt into her embrace, and let the world live freely without his presence. The words Matt and Nick had thrown at him - the very same words he read online, the labels he was used to brushing off - felt so true, so much a part of him that he couldn’t deny them.
Childish. Annoying. Immature.
He hated himself in that moment, hated how much he cared, hated how the words dug under his skin, making him feel unworthy, unloved.
"Am I... am I really that annoying?" He whispered, his voice cracking and sounding more horse than it should. "Do you... Do you think I’m too much, too?"
Y/N’s heart twisted painfully as she heard his words, the broken way he spoke them. She frowned deeply, pulling back just enough to look down at him, her hand cupping his wet cheek as she met his gaze, her thumb brushing away a stray tear that had slipped down his face.
"Oh, sweetheart..." She shook her head gently, her voice laced with disbelief and fierce love. "No. No, Chris, of course not. You’re not annoying. You’re not too much. You’re everything I could ever want. You’re perfect exactly the way you are."
He clenched his fists, gripping onto Y/N’s hoodie - or better, his own blue hoodie -, his knuckles white with the force of it as he tried to agree with her, but her words didn’t seem to reach him. His brow furrowed, his eyes filling with fresh tears as he choked out.
"They said... They said I’m always yelling, being loud, making a scene... like I’m always... embarrassing them." His voice caught on the last words, his breath hitching as he fought to keep from breaking down completely.
Y/N held him tighter, her hand moving to the bottom of his white shirt, traveling inside of it only to rub soothing circles along his naked back as she spoke in a soft, steady tone, hoping her words would anchor him.
"Chris, they love you. They’re just... they don’t understand how much their words hurt sometimes. But that doesn’t mean you’re a burden or that you’re too much. You bring so much joy and energy to everything. That’s part of who you are, and it’s one of the things I love most about you."
He shook his head slightly, his breathing coming faster as anxiety started to build again, overtaking him.
"I... I just don’t get it. One minute, they’re saying people watch us because we’re different... and then they tell me I should be more like them. I don’t... I don’t know how to be that. I tried so hard to be like them, you have to believe me, but I don’t know how to change who I am-"
Y/N felt the depth of his frustration in the desperate way that he begged, wanting - no, needing - her to believe him. She cupped his face gently, urging him to look at her.
"You don’t have to change, Chris. Not for anyone. You’re enough just as you are, baby. And you’re not a burden. Not to me, not to anyone who really sees you and loves you for who you are."
He nodded slowly, finally trying to take a deep breath, only to feel like his nose was closed and his throat was being chocked by invisible hands. He closed his eyes forcefully, biting his bottom lip in concentration as he tried to breathe in a gulp of air that never seemed to be enough. Chris could feel his heart tightening, his chest struggling in the quick movements of going up and down too many times in a second.
"Can't- I... Please-" He tried, tightening his hands around her hoodie, panicking with the anxiety attack that seemed to come so suddenly.
"Hey, hey, Chris. Sweetheart, you’re okay." Y/N whispered softly, her voice a calming presence against the storm inside him. She shifted slightly, one hand now resting on his chest with a firm press as she guided him through deep breaths, her own voice slow and steady. "Come on, just breathe with me, okay? In... and out... Nice and slow. I’m right here with you."
Following her lead, Chris pressed his eyes tighter in a way that made him see stars behind his eyelids, focusing on the rhythm of her voice, the rise and fall of her own breathing against his fists. With each exhale, he felt a bit of the tension release, his chest loosening as he tried to match her calming breaths.
Gradually, his racing heart began to slow, the adrenaline draining from his body, leaving him feeling heavy, exhausted.
Y/N smiled softly, brushing her fingers through his hair as she pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead.
"There you go. That’s it... Well done, my strong boy. Now, just relax. I’ve got you."
As his breathing evened out, Chris opened his eyes slowly, his blurred gaze meeting hers with a vulnerability that tore at her heart.
"You don’t have to carry all of this alone, Chris. I’m always here for you, no matter what. You’re safe with me, okay? I love you... so much." She leaned down, pressing another kiss to his forehead as she held him close, her voice soft.
The gentle reassurance, the quiet love in her words wrapped around him like a blanket, pulling him further into her warmth. His eyelids grew heavier, the tiredness finally catching up with him as he let himself surrender to the comfort of her arms, a quiet whine escaping his throat.
"I know, honey. Sleep." Y/N whispered, a tender smile on her lips as she cradled him closer, holding him like a mother would hold her kid, her hands tracing soothing patterns along his back. "You can rest. I’ll be right here when you wake up."
As she continued to whisper soft reassurances, her fingers running gently through his hair, Chris’s breathing finally evened out, his body relaxing completely in her arms. His head rested on the curve of her neck, his arms still wrapped around her waist as he drifted off, his pain and worries slipping away in the safety of her embrace.
Y/N leaned down, pressing one last, lingering kiss to his hair before laying her cheek against his head, her arms wrapped securely around his body as she watched over him.
"I love you, sweet boy."
     ༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
A couple of hours had passed, the sunsetting casting a soft, warm light over Chris’s room, where he and Y/N lay wrapped together on the bed. Chris’s face was nestled against her shoulder, his breathing steady and calm now, his chest rising and falling in sync with hers.
Outside the room, Matt and Nick exchanged a glance. They’d been standing in the hallway for nearly five minutes, trying to muster the courage to knock. Their earlier argument with Chris had weighed heavily on both of them, guilt twisting in their stomachs as they replayed every hurtful word that had left their mouths.
Finally, Matt raised his fist and knocked softly on Chris’s door, the faint sound echoing in the silence. When there was no answer, he hesitated, glancing at Nick before slowly pushing the door open.
They both froze at the sight before them. Chris and Y/N were curled up together on the bed, Chris’s face still damp from tears as he lay against her, completely relaxed in her arms. Y/N had one arm around his shoulders, her fingers resting in his hair, while her other hand was hiding inside his shirt, holding his back, cradling him protectively. They looked peaceful.
Matt’s heart clenched at the sight, guilt intensifying as he took in Chris’s tear-streaked face. He glanced over at Nick, who was staring down at his feet, clearly feeling the same crushing remorse.
"Let's go. We can come back later." Matt muttered, pulling Nick towards himself before starting to back out of the room, thinking it might be best to give Chris a bit more time.
But just as they were about to close the door, Chris stirred, shifting slightly in Y/N’s arms. He nuzzled his head on her shoulder, his face just inches from the gentle slope of her neck where he could still catch the faint, familiar scent of her perfume mingling with the natural warmth of her skin.
He moved slightly, careful not to wake her, though his movement caused her to pull him in closer, her fingers instinctively brushing over his back. The feeling of her hand tracing small, soothing circles over his shoulder as if it was a muscle memory grounded him further, coaxing a soft sigh from him as he nuzzled deeper into her embrace, pressing a gentle, barely-there kiss to her neck.
When his sleepy eyes finally traveled around the room while gently stretching his legs between hers, he finally caught Matt and Nick's figures standing in the doorway.
His face fell the instant he realized they were there, his peaceful expression replaced by a guarded, distant look. Carefully, he eased himself up, making sure not to wake Y/N as he pulled himself away from her arms.
"Came for round two?" He looked at Matt and Nick, his sleepy voice laced with bitterness as he asked.
Nick swallowed, words catching in his throat as he struggled to find the right thing to say. What an irony. He opened his mouth but only managed to mumble, stumbling over his words as he tried to get them out.
Finally, Nick took a small step closer, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Chris, I... we came to say... We just..." His pearly teeth caged his bottom lip momentarily, taking a deep breath. "We love that you’re different."
Chris stared at him, incredulous, eyebrows raised as he scoffed softly.
"Different? That’s what you’re leading with?" His eyes narrowed, hurt simmering just beneath the surface. "So now I’m the ‘different’ one? Funny, ‘cause that didn’t seem to be a good thing a few hours ago."
Nick faltered, his face flushing as he realized his words weren’t coming out the way he intended. He tried again, tripping over his explanation.
"No, no, I... I didn’t mean it like that. I just-"
Chris took a deep, shaky breath, his gaze lowered as he avoided Nick and Matt's eyes, interrupting Nick.
"Look, I want to apologize, alright?" He started, his voice barely more than a murmur, thick with emotion. "I know it was all my fault and that I’m a lot to handle. I get it. I can be too loud, too... everything, really. And I know I’m not like you guys. I’ve tried so hard to be, but it’s just... not me." His words hung heavy in the room, his fingers twisting anxiously in his lap. "I feel like sometimes I just ruin things because I don’t know how to turn it off. You two seem to have this balance, you know when to joke and when to be serious, and I’m over here just... always pushing things too far."
He exhaled deeply, finally lifting his eyes to meet his brothers', the weight of insecurity and years of self-doubt written all over his face.
"I’m sorry if it feels like you have to put up with me. I’ve tried to be more like you, but it’s never enough. And sometimes... it just feels like who I am isn’t what anyone wants." His voice cracked at the last words, his vulnerability laid bare, and he quickly looked away, bracing himself for whatever they would say.
Nick and Matt shared a look, each seeing the guilt mirrored in the other’s eyes as Chris’s words sank in, cutting through them like a blade.
Matt felt his chest tighten, a pang of regret settling heavily in his stomach, making it hard to breathe. How could he have let Chris - his little brother, the boy who was always loving him no matter what - believe, even for a second, that he wasn’t wanted exactly as he was?
His legs moved on instinct, carrying him back into the room before he even registered it, straight to Chris, who looked so small and hurt, slumped at the edge of the bed. Kneeling down, Matt reached out, placing a steadying hand on Chris’s knee, his fingers gently pressing into his brother’s skin as if trying to ground him.
"Chris, you’re our little brother. I don’t ever want you to feel like you’re too much for us." He swallowed, his voice wavering as he continued, willing Chris to see and feel every word. "I love you, man. We love you for who you are. You don’t need to change a thing. It’s your energy, your spark that makes everything better. You have this way of bringing life into everything, and that’s something I wouldn’t change for anything." He looked into Chris’s eyes, his own gaze filled with a raw honesty. "We need you to be you, Chris. No one else."
Nick’s heart clenched as he watched, his own guilt building with every second. Gaining control over the hurt and regret flooding him, he crossed the room in long strides, dropping down beside Matt. He looked up at Chris, his throat tight with emotion, the sight of his little brother so closed-off, so wounded, cutting deep. He was supposed to protect him, not hurt him.
"Yeah... you being another person? That’s not what we want at all. We’ve never wanted you to be anyone else. You’re perfect the way you are, Chris." Nick’s voice shook, filled with a determination to make Chris understand the truth, to undo every careless word he and Matt had thrown his way earlier. "I'm so, so sorry that we said all of those things and made you think so bad about yourself."
Chris’s defenses wavered, his resolve crumbling as he glanced between his brothers. Their sincerity seeped through, but doubt still clouded his gaze. He let out a heavy sigh, loosening his grip on his hoodie just a bit.
"You promise?" His voice was barely a whisper, fragile and laced with uncertainty, his fingers twisting anxiously into the fabric of his sleeve.
Without hesitation, Nick reached forward, taking Chris’s hands in his own, intertwining their fingers and squeezing firmly.
"We promise. We love how wild you are, how you’re always the one bringing the energy. You’re louder, sure, but that’s not something bad, it's exactly what makes you, you. You’re the happiest out of the three of us, Chris, and we wouldn’t change that for anything." He gave Chris’s hand another reassuring squeeze, feeling the smallest hint of relief when he saw the younger brother begin to relax, if only slightly.
Matt nodded, adding gently.
"And hey, I don’t think we need to be professional or act in a type of way for our videos to be good. The viewers love us for who we are... the mix of chaos and calm. That’s what makes us, us. It’s why they stick around."
Chris took a shaky breath, letting their words settle over him, feeling the weight of them begin to ease some of the pain. Slowly, he nodded, his fingers curling back around Nick’s reassuring grip.
"Okay."
Matt leaned forward, placing a hand on Chris’s shoulder.
"We’ll do better, alright? We’re brothers. We’re gonna mess up, but that doesn’t mean we won’t have each other’s backs. Always."
Chris exhaled deeply, finally letting the tension melt away as he leaned into their touch, the comfort of his brothers grounding him in a way only they could. Straightening himself, he managed a small, tired smile, his heart feeling a bit lighter.
"Yeah... always."
"Well, I’m really glad you guys are okay again." Y/N’s soft voice broke the silence, bringing all three heads up in surprise.
She moved with a quiet strength as she sat up and brushed her hand tenderly through Chris’s hair, watching his face light up as he realized she’d been awake all along.
"But just so we’re clear... if either of you hurt my baby like that again, you’re going to have to answer to me." She turned her gaze to Nick and Matt, a playful but fierce glint in her eyes.
"Y/N..." Chris dragged the last letter of her name in a whining tone, feeling flustered with how she called him 'her baby' in front of his brothers - even though they were more than accustomed with it.
Nick’s eyes widened jokingly with her threat, a chuckle escaping him. He lifted his hands in mock surrender, glancing at Matt as if to say, 'Well, we better watch out'. Matt nodded, eyes a bit sheepish, scratching the back of his neck.
"Alright, alright, no more ganging up on Chris. You have our word, Y/N."
Content with their promises, Y/N turned her attention back to Chris, opening her arms and pulling him into her embrace once more. He let out a soft sigh, sinking into her warmth, his head nestled against her shoulder. Her arms wrapped around him protectively, fingers tracing soothing circles along his back as she whispered.
"I told you they didn't mean it." He closed his eyes, letting her words wash over him, the last bits of hurt melting away.
Nick and Matt watched the two of them, a fondness softening their expressions.
"You know." She murmured, pulling Chris's head away from her chest and looking at him with a mischievous grin. "You’re pretty lucky to have all of us wrapped around your finger."
Chris laughed, a real laugh this time, the sound full of relief and love.
"Yeah, I know. I just... I guess I forget sometimes."
"Well." Nick started, squeezing Chris’s shoulder with a grin. "We’re not going anywhere. So next time, just remind us if we’re being idiots, alright?"
Chris nodded, glancing gratefully at each of them, feeling more grounded and cherished than he had in a long time.
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gb-patch · 3 months ago
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GB Patch Games: Response About Sensitivity Reader
[Some of you might not have heard of this happening, but I wanted to address it across the board]
Hey everyone,
I want to make a post about the screenshots of comments from one of our sensitivity readers. The situation is that neither me or Rose want people to feel uncomfortable with Our Life: Now & Forever, but Rose hasn’t done anything terribly wrong and isn’t going to be punished.
The comment about OL MCs wasn’t meant to be genuine hatred towards all male players/MCs of OL. Rose wrote a reply about it-
"Hi everyone! This is Rose, I want to address the male MC comment since it was taken wildly out of context and without the lengthy discussion that was after it. I don't hate male MCs, in fact far from it, male MCs are integral to the story in OL:NF as female and trans MCs are. I think the relationship they could potentially have with Qiu could be a great asset in my opinion as they figure out their gender alongside the MC. The discussion itself was about how I noticed players were sticking to heteronormative norms by shipping Tamarack with a man purely out of societal norms than it was genuine thought into the characters and how I personally wished there was more sapphic relationships with Tamarack or just Tamarack with trans characters as a sapphic trans person myself. I didn't mean to offend anyone by it as no one but my friends who understood what I legitimately meant behind my message and it definitely wasn't meant to be seen seriously. I am sorry regardless to anyone I have offended and I love your male MCs regardless."
And most of the comments were about me. I’ve seen screenshots of the full conversations and they’re not as harsh as the cropped snippets made them out to be. It was longer discussions about not including Derek in any base game Moments for no good reason and not having any plus-sized love interests in OL1 because I was afraid players wouldn’t accept it. That’s not a lie, it’s what I decided for the game I created, and it is ridiculous of me. I’m the one who should be feeling embarrassed over how OL1 will forever be that way, not the people who remember that I did that. I’m not perfect and Rose actually cares more about the players than making me feel like I am flawless.
I also don’t want to tone police an employee venting about their boss in private, on their own time. Both the OL games deal with personal, important topics. This is sensitive work, and it can bring up frustrations. Sometimes people do use harsh words among friends, but they wouldn’t ever say it to a person seriously and directly.
I understand if you wouldn’t want to see anyone speak badly of a dev you like, but I promise it’s not a point of contention between me and Rose. I don’t feel mistreated in anyway. Rose genuinely cares about the Our Life series, and that’s why they get fed up with me over certain parts of the game.
Rose has never been unkind or unreasonable to me when working on the project, and their advice is detailed and well-explained. They do care about the game and want it to avoid having content that upsets people because of my own ignorance/shortcomings.
This being shared publicly from a private server is targeting Rose and seems to be a continuation of things that have happened before this. I don’t want this to continue happening. If you do still have concerns over the one comment about the community, you can let me know. But again, I don’t want people being mistrustful of Rose on my behalf for comments about me in conversations with missing context.
Do not send angry messages to Rose about any of this. We’ll do our best so that OL2 will be better than I was before. Thank you to everyone who reads this and participates in the community!
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coriphallus · 1 year ago
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The Dark Urge thoughts (and prayers)
anyone whos been following me knows im absolutely not normal about durge and i wanna share some tidbits that are implied, but not necessarily canonised, from their story;
I already made a post about it but it seems like bhaal has a degree of control over whether they live or die. he can deny them death, if they fail the duel with orin.
bhaal can command the slayer. he forces orin to transform if you talk to her about sarevok and the scene makes it clear that its against her will.
bhaal manipulates his kin in a subtler way. in the colony you can find a letter from old durge thats apologising to his father for 'liking' gortash. you can interpret their relationship as something deeper but even if it wasnt, this reads to me as terrified and desperate.
the reason being, if you have a LI in act 2 you get the famous bondage scene. coupled up with the letter above makes me think this is a pattern. bhaal can use their feelings against them. he did it with sarevok and orin's mother, orin's mother and orin, etc... it's not as straightforward as 'if you disobey ill kill the one you love'. you will. durge will.
bhaal is testing them in act 2, he revels in chaos, sure, but in the grand scheme of things he doesn't care about isobel. even if you tell scel that you'll kill her you're told that youre too late, you ignored your urges. from durge, bhaal doesn't expect calm calculated murder, he expects blind obedience. failing to receive that his first punishment is to take away something they cherish. there are no half measures, theres no bargaining with a god.
we get so many snippets of information that this has happened before, their foster family being their first victims. theyre made to kill their support system with their own hands, with no one to blame but themselves. they are actually apologising to their father for being fond of gortash because (in my humble opinion) theyre genuinely afraid.
how many times could this have happened, how many nights durge couldve woken up covered in the blood of someone they love until they gave in, became daddys obedient puppet?
durge is groomed for murder. scel says 'you always failed to conduct yourself without me' and given who he is i dont think hes talking about table manners when he says 'conduct'. durge needs 24/7 oversight to set themselves right lest they get tempted by softer things. lest they dare to step away from bhaals grand plan.
durge do have a choice. just as shadowheart had a choice, just as wyll or astarion had a choice. its a choice only in name.
theres no ending besides refusing bhaal that their friends and LI wont die by their hands. the entire lore of bhaalspawn is that theyre meant to conquer the world in his name and slit their own throat a top the mountain of corpses. as cazador aptly put, 'theyre made to be consumed.'
you can pray to bhaal and the narrator says he won't accept [any offering] but the entire world.
durge (and bhaalspawn) do get some sort of euphoria from murder. they crave it like an addict, but bhaalspawn (on prev games) don't constantly have to grapple with these urges as durge does.
now durge is a slightly special case but not in a good way. its implied that theyre not like a regular bhaalspawn, that theyre made by bhaal directly -so to speak-. which is to say, if youre playing a drow, they are bhaals closest approximation of a drow rather than a drow flesh and blood.
thats why theyre fighting tooth and nail against these urges every step of the way, they are literally bhaal himself(in essence). the personality they develop, the person who calls themselves 'tainted' and 'wretched', the character thats making choices throughout the game, theyre the tumour.
theirs is the story of cycle of abuse cranked up to 1000 and it is in parallel to all other origin companions.
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lu-is-not-ok · 14 days ago
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two in one theory... i am listening very intently if you ever feel up to share it!!
Alright, so this is gonna be... as close to an Abridged explanation of the theory as I can make, because if I went off on everything about it I would end up writing a whole dissertation or five hour video essay script on this shit.
There are gonna be three main sections to this post - Hong Lu's Daiyuisms, Hong Lu's Themes of Identity and how that connects to the concept of Two in One, and the Daiyu-Baoyu theory itself.
Strap in folks.
Hong Lu's Daiyuisms
If you know anything about my theories in the earlier days of Limbus, you might know that I'm one of the very few people who was convinced Hong Lu is actually Daiyu, due to some evidence I found personally compelling. This has not changed, as we've only gotten just as much extra evidence to this as we have to him being Baoyu. So let me just speedrun through some of these points.
The Fucking Jade Eye
Ok hear me out. This is maybe the least important piece of evidence but I can never stop thinking about it. Hong Lu's jade eye? Not actually fully blue! If you look closely on most of his sprites, you can see that he actually has sectoral heterochromia, meaning his jade eye is both blue and black.
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Daiyu's name, quite literally, translates to blue-black jade.
Now, you could claim that this is merely meant to be an easter egg reference to her, but... is that really Project Moon's style? After all, when people speculated on Don Quixote being Sancho or a Bloodfiend partially based on her appearance all the way back since near launch, they turned out to be right.
Hong Lu's Father
As of now, there is only one instance of Hong Lu referencing his Father in Limbus, and it's a voiceline from his Base Identity:
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Now, if you know anything about DOTRC, this should already be raising some flags, because if Hong Lu was just Baoyu, he would not fucking talk like that about his Father.
In the book, Baoyu is consistently shown to be afraid of his Father, for a good reason mind you, as he's his main abuser. Baoyu would not be looking forward to introducing his friends to that man.
Even if Hong Lu was trying to downplay the abuse he's recieved, this would still not fit his pattern of behavior. When topics that genuinely bother Hong Lu come up, such as what could make him distort or how rich people would enjoy gifts made of humans, he immediately pivots and tries to avoid the topic at all cost. He would not bring up his main abuser in such a lighthearted manner, he would avoid bringing him up at all cost.
However, there is a character in DOTRC which does in fact have a more positive relationship to her Father, and would likely be the one with an opinion such as that - Daiyu. Daiyu loves her Father, and when he dies she completely disappears from the story for a bit to attend his funeral. If there was anyone who would be excited to introduce their friends to their Father, it'd be Daiyu.
Lasso Hong Lu's Corrosion
I made a whole seperate post about this, but I might as well mention it here as well for the sake of completion. The design choices made for Hong Lu which are missing for Faust are very, very Daiyu-coded.
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For one, not only does Hong Lu completely turn into a flower, unlike Faust, his horse also gains a flower in its mouth. For those whose knowledge of DOTRC is zero to none, Daiyu is a reincarnation of a Flower given sentience due to being watered by the Jade. I don't think I have to be the one to connect the dots between those two pieces of info for you.
The second is how the halters become a noose for Hong Lu. This, too, is a very Daiyu thing - Rose Hunter as an Abnormality represents the inability to escape one's fate, and Daiyu's fate is to die - the Jia Family arranging a marriage between Baoyu and Baochai leads to Daiyu falling deathly ill, which in itself could be considered a part of her repaying her Debt of Tears - the debt she swore to repay to the Jade/Baoyu when she was still a Flower.
The hilarity of the fact that this E.G.O came out in the same update as Hong Lu being called Baoyu in-story is not lost on me.
Rose Sign Abnormality Log
The third Log for Rose Sign ends in a very peculiar way.
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There's multiple ways one can tie Hong Lu's odd reluctance to talk about flowers and the petals. One is the obvious "he's being reminded of Daiyu because she was a Flower" connection, but there's another one.
One of the most commonly potrayed images of Daiyu relates to a scene in DOTRC where she buries fallen flower petals, weeping for and lamenting the mortality of the flowers and herself. Hong Lu's reaction here to his fellow Sinners being reduced to nothing but petals upon Rose Sign's death feels like a notable parallel to Daiyu's flower burial scene.
Like literally everything about Kurokumo Hong Lu
The title for this is a bit of an exaggeration, but at the same time. I'm serious. Kurokumo Hong Lu is perhaps the most Daiyu Identity out of all the Hong Lu Identities we have, and the way he is designed to stand out among them further makes me go insane.
Kurokumo Hong Lu's most defining trait is his attitude - he often complains about his position and how authority treats him, though he doesn't really act out against them in any major way outside of making snarky or sarcastic remarks.
This is, frankly, an extremely Daiyu thing to do. Daiyu is one of the few characters who audibly complains about her treatment in the household. For example she complains about not being given as many opportunities to show off her poetry skills as her male peers are, and she recognises how, when all the girls in the family are given flowers, she's the last one to recieve them and thus is stripped of the ability to pick, being only given the leftovers.
Then there's the whole. Everything about Kurokumo Hong Lu's visual design. Because once you realize just how Daiyu-like the Identity is, you realize just how weird he is compared to other Hong Lu Identities. I mean just look how he compares to his other Identities.
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He's the only Hong Lu Identity with a blue tint to his hair in the combat sprite rather than the usual purple.
He's the only Hong Lu Identity whose hairtie is a ribbon rather than a jade ring (Liu Hong Lu technically has the ribbon in his post-uptie art, but he doesn't have it in his combat sprite so I'm not counting him).
He's the only Hong Lu Identity to not be smiling in his combat sprites.
And he's the only Hong Lu Identity (and one of only four Identities in the game) whose Idle sprite has its body facing away from the opponent rather than facing towards them.
All of those combine to make him stand out like a sore thumb in a Hong Lu Identity lineup in a way that makes it feel intentional, especially since he's also the only Hong Lu Identity with that kind of notable attitude towards authority. Other Hong Lu Identities are either obedient, don't express any opinion, or just straight up are the authority.
The Baoyu reveal is framed in a very weird way
This is, admittedly, less of a Daiyuism and more of a not-Baoyuism, but I thought it'd be important to mention nonetheless.
There are a lot of things about Canto 7's reveal of Hong Lu's name being Baoyu that are very strange, especially compared to how the Canto frames Don Quixote's own reveal of actually being Sancho.
For one, the timing itself - why is such an important piece of info being revealed so early? Again, compare to Donqui - she was revealed to be a Bloodfiend in the Intervallo right before Canto 7, and the Sancho reveal only came in the second half of the Canto.
For two, the framing - Donqui's reveals are treated as what they are, Major Reveals. The Baoyu reveal on the other hand happens in a single off-handed line, with nobody reacting to it in any way. Neither Hong Lu nor the other Sinners seem to hear it after all.
And mind you, it's not like Limbus is opposed to giving us important information in off-handed lines - far from it in fact. Project Moon loves shoving little bits of foreshadowing and reveals you don't realize are reveals until way later in these kinds of off-handed lines. But the way those lines are treated is still very different to how the Baoyu reveal is treated.
Usually, when there's foreshadowing in off-handed lines, it's usually either vague enough to be something a character could say regardless of context (see Yi Sang getting hung up on the Sedatives bit in Canto 2 or Ishmael's comment about Syndicates pretending to be Families foreshadowing her own history with the Middle via Queequeg) or something that is in the middle of a scene that distracts from what is actually being said (like Hong Lu's distortion foreshadowing being in the middle of an important infodump or most of everything in Canto 2 being surrounded by a comedic tone).
None of this is present for the Baoyu reveal. There's nothing to distract you from this information, as the scene is already focused on discussing Hong Lu, meaning you're already likely to be paying attention to what is being said about him. There's also no vagueness about it, there's no way you can brush it off since not only are Wei and Xichun newly introduced characters, but it's a whole ass clearcut namedrop.
The only way I can justify that reveal being there in the form it takes is that it in itself is the distraction. Think about it. Didn't I point it out earlier that this reveal came in the same update as the E.G.O with an extremely Daiyu-coded corrosion design? Wouldn't it make sense for that reveal to be there to lower your guard, make you think you resolved that mystery, only to later on reveal it wasn't the whole story after all?
Hong Lu's Themes of Identity
So this section is a bit more vague than the Daiyuism section, because Hong Lu is the type of guy to just Say Shit all the time. It's basically just. Anything that I find relevant to the idea of Hong Lu's Identity being more complex than him just being a random guy using a pseudonym, with some (but maybe not all) of them directly tying to the idea of Two in One.
"Which one is the real you?"
There are currently two seperate scenes where Hong Lu muses on the idea of someone's identity being in some way vague or obscured.
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Is Dante the person or the clock? Is the dreamer the one in the dream or the one who wakes from it? Which you is the real you? Does it even matter if that you will flutter away in the end?
This idea of there being one true self. That even if there are two, there is only one of them that is actually you. Curious, right?
Face-changing dance
During the Canto 2 scene where everyone gives their reasons for whether or not they'd be a good pick for being the one to dance, Hong Lu says this.
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Bian lian is a kind of dance literally translated as "face-changing". It involves rapid changes between various masks and make-up to represent different emotions or characters.
Now, it's no secret that Hong Lu is a great actor, as we see in Canto 4, and Canto 7 shows how the comparison to theatre and actors can be used to symbolize one's performance of identity, as it does for Sancho and her Don Quixote persona.
Mind you, this reveal comes in the same scene as Sinclair's dance invoking the image of a bonfire burning all through the night according to the Mariachis, a clear foreshadowing to Canto 3 and the Literal burning down of Sinclair's home.
Hong Lu knowing bian lian could be further foreshadowing to his own skills in deception, and how he too is a sort of actor, not unlike Don Quixote. On the other hand however, it could also be a more literal foreshadowing, that he (Baoyu) Quite Literally changed his face. We won't know until Canto 8, but it is an option you know.
The HamHamPangPang dish(es)
For those who don't know, here is a list of the Sinner-themed dishes that were available at HamHamPangPang.
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Now, chances are, not all of them have deep meanings. I don't think there's much of a deep meaning to Heathcliff and Ishmael's dishes, I think PJM just legit don't know much about British/American cuisine so they just picked something recogniseable.
However, not all of them are meaningless picks either. Ryoshu, likely a mother, has a meal literally called "parent-and-child donburi". Don Quixote, a Bloodfiend, has a garlic-based dish. These were clearly done on purpose.
So, what does it say that Hong Lu's dish is actually two different dishes? That he's the only one whose dish is two different dishes? And it's not like the two are in some way inherently connected, since they're of completely different cuisines. Japchae is a Korean dish, not Chinese like the Mandarin rolls.
And just in case you weren't convinced that Hong Lu's choice of dishes is purposeful - another name for Mandarin rolls is flower buns, and one of the special occasions japchae is commonly served for is weddings. If you had read through the Daiyuisms section and somehow have no idea what the significance of that is, I don't know what to tell you.
The Daiyu-Baoyu Theory (finally)
So. I gave some evidence for why I think Hong Lu could still be Daiyu despite being revealed as Baoyu. I gave some evidence for why I think Hong Lu could be a Two in One deal, or that at the very least there's something more complex going on with his identity. But let's discuss the theory itself, how it would recontextualize certain things, and why I think it's an extremely fitting an thematically resonant direction for Hong Lu's Canto to go in.
The Theory
Here's what I speculate is going on.
Daiyu, just like in DOTRC, is someone who was taken in into the Jia Household rather than born in it, and who strongly connected with Baoyu upon meeting him. The two would end up forming a bond strong enough that they would be willing to die for one another (or, if they're in particularly argumentative moods, to kill themselves just to force the other to have to live a long life grieving over them - this is an actual argument they have in DOTRC and I pray to god this is adapted into Limbus because it's too fucking funny).
At some point, Baoyu either dies or is brought to near death, likely through the same circumstances as in DOTRC - being beaten by his Father. To save him, his memories and consciousness would be transferred to his eye, a process not dissimilar to the one Xichun brings up in Canto 7, and implanted into Daiyu's body, causing them to become a vessel for Baoyu. This would be how Hong Lu as he is now is created.
All of the above is the main basis for this theory. Everything else that I might speculate about, such as the exact nature of the two's relationship, Daiyu's more exact background and personality, how their pre-reincarnation lives could be adapted - all of those are things that are purely speculative and ones that I don't really expect to be actually fulfilled. The only bits that I am sure are likely to be true is what I laid out above.
So... what does it all mean for the future? I'm glad you asked!
The Recontextualization
Here's a collection of just a couple of things that Hong Lu has said or is depicted as that would be heavily recontextualized if this theory ends up being true.
Hong Lu surviving despite claiming he didn't fight back when his siblings first tried to kill him: With the context that he used to be two seperate people, the answer to how he survived is made very simple. Baoyu is the one who wasn't fighting back. Daiyu, however, could have still protected him in turn.
The red ribbon on Hong Lu's weapon: There is only one other Sinner who has a similar decoration on their weapon - Ryoshu, who also has a red ribbon on her sword, which could be easily connected to Yuzuki and her death. With the context of Hong Lu being Baoyu occupying Daiyu's body and thus effectively rendering their self non-existent, the red ribbon could be a parallel symbol - a symbol of Daiyu and their 'death'.
How Hong Lu treats his weapon in his base E.G.O: The way Hong Lu holds his weapon in the illustration is more like he's cradling another person. This could be a representation of how he feels about Daiyu's situation. Likewise, in the attack animation, he's not really attacking with the weapon itself, is he? He's simply using it to direct a ribbon (which in itself is missing in the illustration), the part that is actually the attack. If the weapon in the base E.G.O represents Daiyu, this could be a parallel to how Baoyu feels like he's merely directing Daiyu's body to attack, rather than being the one actually attacking.
The duality of Hong Lu IDs: There is a notable pattern among Hong Lu IDs, and that is the focus on his attitude to violence. When he's in a situation where he's obedient towards his Family, he's either uninterested in violence, bored of it, or otherwise given no other choice but to use it as a reprieve from boredom. However, when he's in a situation where he's disconnected from his Family or otherwise questioning the status quo, he's shown to not only be much more aggressive and violent, but to outright enjoy it. With the context of Hong Lu being composed of two people, this duality could represent each of his components - the obedient and violence-averse being more Baoyu-like, while the questioning and violence-favoring being more Daiyu-like.
So, there's a bunch of stuff that would be given new meaning under the premise of this theory being true. But now, what about the future? What would this theory mean for the themes and ending of Canto 8?
The Resolution
I believe this is how the Daiyu-Baoyu theory will affect Canto 8.
At some point, whether before or during the Canto, it will be revealed that Hong Lu is both Daiyu and Baoyu. There will be an attempt to seperate the two, perhaps to implant Baoyu into a more fitting, more Jia Family-approved Vessel. Perhaps because the 'arranged marriage' from DOTRC could be adapted into something more... let's say Fear and Hunger kind of marriage rather than traditional marriage.
This will leave Hong Lu to be returned to their state as Daiyu, who will be revealed to be a very different person to what the Sinners knew Hong Lu as. There is a non-zero chance that Daiyu will be unable to hear Dante or be revived by them due to the one who signed the contract being Baoyu, and so they could end up acting as an uncontrollable ally unit not unlike Xichun in Canto 7.
The climax would then be Daiyu and Baoyu reuniting and being unwilling to part with each other again, even for the sake of returning to being the fake persona that is Hong Lu, leading to a potential duo boss fight/distortion boss fight/duo distortion boss fight.
The ending would be the two of them deciding to embrace their new identity as Hong Lu and truly becoming one, discarding their pasts and the selves that had been forced on them by the Jia Family. This ending would have a twofold meaning regarding how it connects to the DOTRC adaptation.
One - it would be a direct parallel to the ending of DOTRC where Baoyu leaves to become a monk. By becoming Hong Lu and discaring his previous identities, he'd be leaving behind the earthly attachments inherent to being Baoyu and Daiyu and become spiritually whole.
Two - it would be a reflection of the major theme of DOTRC, that being "Truth becomes fiction when the fiction's true. Real becomes not-real when the unreal's real." Hong Lu, as a person, is a 'fake' persona used by the 'real' Baoyu and Daiyu. However, by discarding those two identities and deciding to just be Hong Lu, the fiction of his existence becomes the truth, while his former real selves become not real.
Conclusion?
I could honestly just keep going with this post, but I think I'm going to stop myself here before I'm forced to find out what tumblr's character limit on posts is. Believe me, I was trying to be brief, and still this post is. This fucking long.
I hope this explains why this theory has been the subject of my brainrot for the past however long, and why I feel like it's surprisingly plausible despite being as deranged as it is.
Godspeed and godbless, I have classes tomorrow and I'm spending my time on this.
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mythicmanuscripts · 3 months ago
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And here I thought Aegon makes his wive sit on the throne so he can sit on her lap :D
Okay so I know this ask was just meant to be a joke but it kinda send me on a spiral and now I have too many thoughts about all the different ways the characters would a share thrown with you/hold court with you. And since this anon caused this, I’m gonna use them to share my thoughts because if I have to deal with it then so do you lads.
AEGON:
So as I mentioned in the ask that sparked all of this, I think Aegon would enjoy sitting on the stairs below the thrown and letting you sit on the thrown. He especially loves it because he can look up at you. This tends to be what he chooses when he wants you to do the heavy lifting? If he’s is not feeling up to it or if he knows there’s a matter he doesn’t quite understand enough he’ll sit on the sit on the stairs and then defer to you when he gets stuck.
Also he’s absolutely a fan of sitting on your lap. This is the one he goes for when he’s feeling perfectly fine and just wants to be close to you. He’ll especially choose this when you’ve been away for a while? He’s extremely clingy if he has to go more than a few hours without you and so when you return he will be attached to your side for the next few days.
AEMOND:
Aemond is another who will absolutely refuse to let you sit on a smaller thrown or chair next to the thrown. He sees that as extremely disrespectful to you. You are his wife!!!
(Along the same line, he gets rid of the consort title. He will not allow you to just be for show and have no actual recognised power. You are equal, and he’s not afraid to cut someone down for calling you queen consort and not just queen)
I think Aemond’s absolute favourite might be you sitting on his lap? Doesn’t matter how heavy you are, he will not allow you to try and hover or keep your weight of him, absolutely not. He’ll literally just grab you by the waist and pull you back. He loves that position so so much, with you either perched on his knee or laying across his lap. He always keeps a hand around your waist and whenever he wants your opinion on someone he’ll rest his head on your shoulder or nuzzle his cheek against yours.
Because of him getting rid of the consort title, you will sometimes hold court without him? He’s beyond happy with this, because he trusts your judgement implicitly and honestly if he has to listen to commoners and lords asks things of him for hours every day he might just burn down the entire fucking kingdom.
Anyway, so quite down you’ll end up in a situation where you’re holding court and Aemond joins halfway through?? He’ll just causally walk through the doors and across the thrown room to where you sit. He doesn’t even allow the guards to announce his arrival. He doesn’t want all that attention, his wife is the one holding court not him.
He’ll walk across the room and up the stairs to the thrown, and then instead of asking you to stand up he’ll just sit on the arm of the thrown? He rests his arm over the back of the thrown and you wrap an arm around his waist to steady him. He just sits there, doesn’t make any comment unless you ask him directly. If someone tries to address him he just goes, "Speak to my queen, I'm not here to answer today"
JACE:
So I definitely think Jace's initial plan would be to get a second thrown of some kind built. Obviously it can't be a replica of the actual iron thrown, but he'd want you to have your own space.
While plans are beginning to be formed around getting a new thrown to put next to the iron throne, Jace obviously continues to rule and he refuses to have you stand in the corner or with the ladies of the court.
He calls you over and you stand next to the thrown. You end up standing at his side, and Jace finds that he really likes you standing over him? At some point you sit on the arm of the iron thrown and Jace immediately wraps his arm around your waist to ensure you stay balanced. That ends up being the way you most often sit, and Jace loves it.
I think Jace especially loves it because of how easily he can have a whispered conversation with you? He just tilts his head up and you look down and then you're close enough to speak very very softly. In fact sometimes Jace will even put his hand up in front of your faces to that the others in the court can't even see his lips move.
POLY!DAEMON AND RHAENYRA:
(This idea is absolutely perfect for this poly ship and I really want to write more about them so I'm gonna do that here)
Things are obviously even more complicated here with there being three of you. At first you don't even consider being anywhere near the iron thrown. Daemon and Rhaenyra are married, they are the actual rulers of the kingdom. Sure you warm their bed but you don't even consider that this position could give you some power. You're happy for it to be a secret, or at the very least for it to not be advertised.
Meanwhile, neither Daemon nor Rhaenyra consider the option that you won't have some sort of special place in the thrown room. So I think it would work like this: it takes YEARS for the relationship between the three of you to form, with Daemon and Rhaenyra spending many nights talking about you and sharing frustrations over how badly they wish they could just straight up ask to court or marry you, and by the time the relationship actually forms Rhaenyra has already been crowned queen. There's a few weeks of the three of you sleeping together and hiding the relationship. Eventually the three of you admit that you all want it to always be the three of you, and you officially join the relationship.
After this happens, they announce it to everyone and while of course people are sceptic, they know better than to talk bad about you when both of your partners have dragons.
The first time Rhaenyra holds court after you make it official, you enter the thrown room with Daemon, the two of you walking behind Rhaenyra. Daemon walks up the thrown with Rhaenyra and sitting down on his chair next to the thrown. Both him and Rhaenyra immediately look around to see where you have gone. Rhaenyra spots you first, and frowns when she sees you're standing with the ladies of the court.
"What are you doing there?" she asks, confused. Before you can respond, Daemon is already up and walking to you. He takes your hand and brings you up the stairs. You try to say it's not necessary, but neither of them will hear it.
At first you end up sitting on the chair Daemon usually used and while he sat perched on the arm of Rhaenyra's thrown. This works well, until someone asks something that Rhaenyra wants your thoughts on. When daemon realises this, he jumps up and tells you to swop places with him.
Eventually three of you reach a pretty good arrangement of you and Daemon sitting on the arms of the iron thrown and Rhaenyra sitting on the actual thrown. Occasionally one of you will sit on the stairs below Rhaenyra but mostly it's both of you on the arms.
It's worth noting that Rhaenyre is absolutely DELIGHTED with this arrangement and regularly pulls one of you down by your chin for a kiss.
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livwritesstuff · 3 months ago
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i was writing a totally different thing and then all of a sudden it was thundering so here have this
Steve had always loved a good thunderstorm. There’s something sort of magic about them, he thinks, about the greenish, unnatural darkness and the way lightning turns the sky a kind of purple and how the air is both cool and warm at the same time.
Back when he was a teenager, when he was stuck by himself the mausoleum his parents called home, he’d sometimes sit by the patio door and watch the storm, watch the clouds opened up and beat rain down on the pool water, and Steve would feel more alive than he had in ages – even if it felt like he was living vicariously through…something. Maybe through how nature gets to storm and rage in a way Steve never will.
But he tries not to psychoanalyze himself. He’s got his own therapist for that.
Twenty-five years later, here he is still watching thunderstorms. He might not have a pool, but he does have a porch which, in his old age of forty-two, he’s learning might be even better.
He’s sitting on the porch with his husband by his side, and Eddie’s got their youngest daughter sitting in his lap while the older two dance in and out of the rain.
Eddie doesn’t like thunderstorms the way Steve does. It had sort of surprised Steve actually, when he first found out years and years ago because…it’s Eddie. Eddie is like a thunderstorm personified in the best way – all sharp smiles and dark eyes and wild hair and loud, reckless rebellion. Sure, Eddie isn’t bothered by the noise of thunderstorms, but over their years together, Eddie has shared some things ��� things about his dad and what he’d been able to get away with during a dark, loud storm that maybe he couldn’t otherwise.
So Steve gets it if Eddie still isn’t quite himself during thunderstorms.
Their youngest, Hazel, isn’t a fan of them either. She’s just a few months shy of her second birthday, so this really is the first summer she’s had her own opinions about these kinds of things. The verdict – not a fan of the thunderstorms, though she’s been a trooper about this one.
"Hazy, come play!" Robbie exclaims from the porch steps, but Hazel just shrinks further back against Eddie.
"She's a little afraid of the noise, Beans," Steve tells her, and he watches Robbie's face take on an expression of protective (albeit a little confused) concern.
“How come?” she asks as comes up the steps.
“It can be scary if it’s brand new.”
As if to illustrate Steve’s point, lightning flashes above the trees, and Hazel makes a whimpery kind of whine as thunder follows only a few moments later.
“It’s not scary, Hazel,” Robbie tells her, “Because you always know when thunder’s coming because lightning comes first. And it’s only loud when the storm is close.”
Steve raises his eyebrows, reminding himself that one of these days he’s gotta stop being so impressed by how damn smart his kids are.
Another flash of lighting lights up the dark sky, and Robbie covers Hazel's ears with her hands as she looks out into the rain, "And now there's gonna be the thunder."
A few moments later, thunder rumbled around them, maybe a little bit quieter than the last one because the storm is definitely moving away from them now. Still, Hazel reaches up to grip at Robbie’s wrists, her eyes wide and fixated on the stormy sky.
“See?”
Hazel manages a nod.
“Come play!” Robbie urges her again, “I’ll cover your ears before the thunder comes.”
And this time, Robbie actually succeeds in dislodging Hazel from Eddie’s lap, and together they head for the front yard where Moe is still running around in the rain, wet bangs plastered to her forehead.
“Steve,” Eddie mutters in disbelief as Robbie patiently waits for Hazel’s slow descent of the porch stairs, breaking his and Steve’s subconscious agreement to keep their traps shut while that glorious scene was unfolding, “Oh my god, Steve. What the fuck was that? Are we actually doing a good job raising these kids?”
“I guess so, Jesus Christ.” 
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runawrites-blog · 3 months ago
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Deadpool Being A Girl Dad Would Include 🌸
-Wade Wilson is the biggest Girl Dad™️ and anyone who disagrees can fight me on it
-Of course, he would have been happy about a boy just as much as a girl but when you came back from a doctor’s appointment to tell him he’d have a daughter he was overjoyed
-When you ask him if he’s crying and tell him how sweet he’s being he just tells you to fuck off and you just hug him tightly
-He buys his daughter so many stuffed toys, going through the whole animal kingdom, then buying unicorns and dinosaurs, too
-He loves painting your daughter's nails and he lets her paint his nails, proudly walking around with his colourful nails and showing off how he matches with his baby girl
-speaking of matching, he will wear clothes that match the ones your daughter is wearing and it won’t matter what colour or motives they have because he’ll gladly wear matching Hello Kitty sweaters just as much as he’ll wear a matching dinosaur shirt
-You have to lecture him on safe sleeping and not letting his daughter sleep in a bed full of stuffed animals
-From the day that he found out he'd have a daughter he was going over names every day, looking them up online, asking his friends about their opinions and overall being very imaginative
-Some of the names were better than others but eventually, you two came to a compromise
(-I personally headcanon his daughter's name to be Bea after Bea Arthur from Golden Girls because in the first Deadpool, he wears a shirt with her face on it, I just needed to share this)
-He adores dressing his daughter in cute outfits, not necessarily in the sense of dressing her in puffy dresses or clothes covered in bows, but in clothes with cute prints
-Wade gets that a baby needs comfortable clothes but that doesn’t mean they can’t have cute kittens on them or be brightly coloured or covered in a glittery print
-He would also totally let his daughter choose what she wants to wear, letting her pick the wildest mix-matched outfits ever
-When his daughter gets old enough to actually understand what books you two are reading to her, he goes out of his way to look for ones with positive female role models
-He buys books where the girl saves the day, where the female characters are strong and independent, where they have agency and big dreams because he wants his daughter to know that she can be anything she wants to be and that she can do that on her own
-That doesn’t mean he isn’t protective because if any bad guys catch wind of the fact that he has a daughter and threatens her, he’ll go ballistic on them
-Spends hours watching Barbie movies with your daughter and then dances around the flat singing along to the songs with her while she pretends to be a princess or fairy
-Wade tries to learn how to do your daughter’s hair and spends countless hours on the internet, looking up tutorials on how to do elaborate hairstyles
-He is always distraught when he can’t get it right and you have to come in and help him
-Totally has tea parties with his daughter and her stuffed animals
-He’ll also be super interested in her hobbies, be it football or ballet, baseball or horseback riding, he will let her talk his ear off about it
-Speaking of ears, when his daughter wants to get her ears pierced he goes with her and lets her sit in his lap so she won’t be afraid but it’s actually him who ends up flinching more than her when he sees her little face scrunch up in pain
-Then he’ll buy her twenty new pairs of earrings while you go on telling him that the piercing needs to heal first and she won’t be able to wear them for another month or so anyway
-Wade is the Dad his daughter's friends feel safe around, and they ask for help if anyone makes them feel uncomfortable or unsafe
-loves watching stereotypical girl shows with her, like My Little Pony or Winx Club
-listens to boybands with her
-has pyjama parties with her where they paint each others' nails, watch romcoms, eat popcorn and do face masks
-Wade is the Dad who loudly cheers his kid on during school functions, big games, dance recitals, you name it and he never misses one of these events
-If he has to show up in full Deadpool gear so he will make it on time then he will
-When his daughter gets older and gets her first period, he panics a little but when you sit down to talk to her about it he is there to reassure her, too
-never embarrassed to buy pads or tampons for his daughter and brings home her favourite sweets to make her feel better
-imagine him standing at the cash register in full Deadpool getup buying menstrual products and chocolate for her
-he is also very good at getting blood out of clothes, so that comes in handy, too
-he will teach her self-defence, showing her all the ways she can protect herself, verbally and physically
-insanely proud when she managed to take him down and slam him onto the floor
-isn't the biggest fan of going shopping but will do the stereotypical dad thing where he sits down and lets his daughter put on a full fashion show to show off her new clothes
-he knows what it's like to feel insecure about your looks so if his daughter ever feels insecure or not pretty enough he will actually sit down to have a serious talk with her and tell her how beautiful he thinks she is
-has the sweetest nicknames for her, from regular ones like "Honey" to things like "Light of my Life" or "My Little Princess"
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90sbee · 10 months ago
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Sometimes a saviour is a soldier afraid of peace
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Levi Ackerman x Fem!Reader
4.4k words. Also on ao3.
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He looks at her in quiet admiration.
He doesn’t deserve her. But again, he doesn’t really deserve anything. He already has gotten too much: spoiled by the sweet possibility of life when all his comrades have fallen, their bodies twisted, mangled by titans and enemies alike.
Levi hardly cries, but he wants to cry in that moment. She turns on the stove for him, and rummages through his cabinets. She finds two cups and a sob is trapped inside his throat.
He doesn’t fucking understand why she stays, why she puts up with his sorry ass but, damn it. Damn it if he at least doesn’t try.
The war is over, but the demons still haunt Levi. Luckily for him, the last member of his Squad seems focused on remaining by his side as they both face this new enemy: peace.
This was !!! My first fic written in English, actually. Also my first (and only time so far) writing for aot. Levi is such an angsty angel, and this story wouldn’t leave my head, so I had to end up writing it, ofc. This has been in the drafts for... months. Too many months already. And tbh I'm not a fan of how it came out. But. Posting it in case someone else can enjoy Levi finally getting some love and comfort, sjsjs.
Content: Use of 3rd person pronouns. No use of y/n. Mostly Levi's pov. Reader was part of his Squad. Post!Rumbling Levi. Written with the manga ending in mind. A lot of fluff, rude Levi even if he doesn't mean it (but reader knows he means no harm). Healing. Spooning (Levi as the little spoon btw. He deserves it).
Warnings: depressive thoughts, self confidence issues. Mentions of past violence (but nothing gruesome, it's all in passing). SFW. No beta reader we die like everybody in Aot here.
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They always meet. Every single day, she leaves her little flat to find him near the fountain in the Marleyan park, eager to push his wheelchair and pass some time with him.
Levi doesn’t understand. When Onyankopon, or Falco, or Gabi let her take the wheelchair, he just ponders. He could understand why they would accompany him: because he is old? because they feel pity of him?… But her?
Nonetheless, every single afternoon, she comes to him. He doesn’t recall when this custom began. It’s like slowly, but surely, she started digging a place into his routine. She was part of his remaining squad, and he really didn’t see any point to her bubbling-self still being by his side.
Still, he appreciates her visits. She exchanges pleasantries with Gabi, already smiling. Why is she smiling?
“Hi, Captain,” she says. Should he feel mocked? He isn’t a captain anymore and the title feels too much, even if it’s comforting in some way. Levi doesn’t reply. He just nods, silently acknowledging her presence. “Is it okay if we go to the stalls for a while, Captain?” She inquires, as if it was the first time they did it, and not a weekly occurrence. His jaw tenses. He doesn’t understand, still. She surely pities him. She has to.
He agrees to her proposal, though.
“Sure,” he replies, barely any emotion on his face.
She smiles at him. For a moment, they look at each other. She sees that familiar scarred face, a grey eye gazing into her soul. He sees the older face of her remaining squad member, some wrinkles next to her eyes, her figure dressed in green. For some reason, he liked that colour on her.
He doesn’t share that with her, though.
“Let’s get going,” she adds, a little chuckle in her voice — he can hear it — as she starts pushing the wheelchair. They check out the little shops that are already so familiar. Sometimes she signals a piece of jewellery or clothes. She asks for his opinion, or points at a silly artwork, in hopes of making him laugh.
When the cold starts to set in, she stops them in front of a coffee shop.
“Wait here a second, Captain,” she tells him.
“Where would I go, anyway?” He wants to say, snarky, but he doesn’t really bother in opening his mouth. He stays silent still, perking his head up to see what’s she’s doing.
“Oi. coffee?” He complains.
She directs her gaze to him and chuckles, paying the vendor.
“I know you like tea but it’s time to broaden your horizons,” she explains. She comes up to him again, and hands him one of the cups. He sighs, but accepts the drink still.
“What is it this time?”
“Just chocolate. Hot chocolate,” she answers, already sipping hers.  She lets out a content sigh when the warmth of it starts to fill her belly.
“I don’t like chocolate,” Levi mutters under his breath. He is lying and she knows it.
“Tsk. That’s not true. Everybody likes chocolate.”
“… Fine,” he sips his drink and, admittedly, enjoys it. She hands him her drink so she can push the wheelchair again, and he takes it, guarding both cups on his lap, a familiar action for the two of them now.
“Where do we go?” She asks.
Levi shrugs. “As if I had a choice.”
She looks at him still, and when he can see her, barely from his peripheral vision, he sees a softer face. She’s waiting for his reply. He looks at her, looks at her lips. She isn’t smiling anymore. Levi sighs, suddenly feeling guilty.
He doesn’t understand still why she does this for him.
“Captain?” She says, just above a whisper, since there are people around them and they both just want to have a calm evening, without the risk of being recognised.
Levi nods before he even opens his mouth.
“The bridge.”
“Good,” she agrees as he sips from his drink again, guided by her. He does feel warmer. Levi inspects the people around him in silence, letting himself be carried, taken to a nicer place. “Hange would have like this,” he thinks. He looks down to suddenly realise he is clenching his fist, hard. “If you could even call it a hand…”
“We’re here, Captain,” she announces, letting his wheelchair rest next to a bench, overlooking the water. She takes a seat next to him, and Levi hands her the drink. He wonders if she noticed how tense he’s been feeling today.
“Be quick with that, brat, or it will get cold,” he warns, as if to pre-emptively shut down any words from her. He’s not sure he could handle it.
She just nods.
“It’s still warm,” she mentions after a moment.
The sunset is taking its place on the sky, a beautiful palette of oranges and pinks against a very flat horizon. A reminder of what was once lost.
“Good,” he says.
Levi looks at her. She is still looking forward, features illuminated by the falling sun, breeze caressing her face. There is something in his heart that aches, but he doesn’t want to think about that. He doesn’t dare to. Levi is old, too old, and too broken. And she only pities him.
He coughs to catch her attention, though.
“Hmh, yeah?” She immediately says.
“I heard the Scouts were going back to Paradis tomorrow,” he begins, the question lingering in the air. The small group was leaving first time in the morning.
“Yep.”
Levi blinks, expecting her to say more, but she doesn’t. He doesn’t want to ask. It feels… too much. He feels too exposed doing that, lower lip trembling.
“Are you going?” He finally dares to ask.
She turns back to him again, and looks at him with the sweetest gaze. Levi doesn’t miss how she looks at his lips first.
“I’m not.”
“Why?”
“I don’t have anything there,” she replies, matter-of-factly. Levi wants to hit his head against something, still uncertain about what that means. Does that mean that she has something here? Someone?
She must notice his doubts, so she lowers her gaze. “I mean. You know I lost my family during my first years as a Scout. And knowing that we tried to stop Eren… All the military forces in the island won’t be very happy to see me. Or any of us. I’ve done my part. I do not want more fighting.”
“… Right”. That still doesn’t answer his question, but it is enough to satisfy his curiosity without seeming to eager. He sips his drink again: it’s getting colder.
“You didn’t want to go, Captain?” There it was again, that fucking title that felt like a joke. He chuckles, not looking at her anymore but rather at the sunset.
“Why do you still call me like that?” He spits back.
“Captain?”
“Yeah,” His tone is unintentionally rude, but he can’t help it, not even around her.
“Well… It’s a sign of respect, don’t you think?”
Levi chuckles, amused.
“I never took you for a polite person.” He doesn’t want to look at her still. She hasn’t added anything, said anything else. What is she thinking of?
She looks at him. There’s a warmth in her belly which has nothing to do with the chocolate anymore. She knows: Her Captain has been way more vulnerable and open since the Rumbling. The little gestures that he could so easily hide before are now an open book. Or at least she feels that way, since she was always one to look at him.
It was so easy to just… stare at him. Admire him in every sense of the word, even now. When they were both soldiers they would fight alongside each other, against innumerable dangers. He was barely visible in the spectrum: always so fast, always so precise. A ray of dark hair and strong limbs, destroying everything to provide peace, to provide protection.
There was no point in denying how she felt about him… Except, maybe, to him.
“I don’t think I would like going back to Paradis,” she finally adds, finishing her drink. He seems to reflect on that idea for a moment, before nodding. He wants to ask why but he doesn’t dare to. “I’m just… comfortable here,” she finishes with a sigh. “This is okay.”
“That’s good,” he says, barely a spark of enthusiasm in his voice, but enough for her to notice.
She looks up at him again. And he feels tiny and scared suddenly, because she looks at him with wonder and care. Levi doesn’t mean to, but he ends up letting his drink fall from his hands, whether due to his nervousness or the state of his hand after the war.
“Shit,” he spits, upset.
“Sh, it’s alright, Captain.” In a second she is picking up the cup, handing him a handkerchief to dry his hands. She walks a few steps to throw both cups into a trashcan and is again, by his side. Such a quick interaction so as to ease his shame, he could notice it. “Are you alright?”
Levi still doesn’t know. He doesn’t know why she still treats him with such respect, why she seems to care so much for him. But he wants to find out, somehow. He barely nods, but she notices it.
“Good,” she says, while taking the handkerchief back. She is about to put it into her bag again when she feels a hand grabbing hers.
Levi.
He doesn’t even say anything. He doesn’t know how. She seems to understand, though, squeezing his hand, softly. Levi quickly lets her hand go, his cheeks going red. She gets behind the wheelchair again, as the sun is about to disappear, and Levi can hear her chuckling.
“Let’s get you home, Captain.”
He stays quiet, unsure if he could even say something useful.
There’s so much he doesn’t know how to say. How to do.
While she is pushing his chair he notices it again. A slight tremor in her right hand. “My wrist seems to ache lately… Must be from holding the blades for so many years,” she had explained in passing a couple weeks ago. He realises that it’s probably taking a strain on her to push him every fucking day.
“Oi,” he says.
“Yeah?”
“Stop pushing me. I can handle it,” he explains, tone serious.
“Oh, no,” her hand is trembling still. “It’s fine, it’s no bother for me, Captain.”
“… It’s an order,” he commands after a moment. She stops in her tracks and he can hear a gentle laugh coming from behind him.
“It had been a while since that, huh.” Confidently, she places one of her hands on his shoulder, gently tapping it. Levi smiles. Barely curving his lips, but he does. He is about to be brave, hold her hand on his shoulder when she removes it from him. “Shit,” he thinks. “Too slow… Too slow? Slow for what? Tsk.”
Despite his missing fingers, he can still push his wheelchair quite properly. It also helps that he can see his street far ahead. She walks comfortably besides him, a silence and gentle ghost as his most devoted companion.
Yeah. There’s definitely something aching in his chest. He had been noticing the past days, feeling getting more painful as they both approach his place. And it has nothing to do with his faulty joints or damaged body or excessive age.
When they reach his door, she asks for his key. Levi gives it to her, his hand lingering for a second too long, reflecting on the brief touch of hands as she grabs it to unlock the door.
He is tired.
And he feels incredibly silly when he realises he doesn’t want her to leave.
“There we go, Captain. I help you in?” she suggests with a bright smile, opening the door.
“… Yes.”
She steps inside and pushes the chair into his living room, almost getting it next to his couch.
“That’s enough” he decides, in a semblance of independency he still wants to maintain.
She nods. “Okay… I guess… I’ll get going, Captain.”
Levi lifts up his gaze. He wants to ask… He wants to know… He savours her image for a moment, her tired expression and the way her dress now looks clumsy and wrinkled but he doesn’t care. Before, before everything had ended up like this he would remind every single cadet to iron their uniforms, all the outfits presentable, so as to look like respectable soldiers and honourable bodies if the occasion arose. Now she can have the privilege of looking messy. Of not worrying about death so often.
“No,” he mutters.
“Huh?” she inquires, taking a step forward.
“Shit,” Levi thinks. “I… I want tea,” he makes up a quick lie.
“Oh, sure. Yes, Captain.” She leaves her bag on the couch and goes into the kitchen, getting a kettle full of water.
He looks at her in quiet admiration.
He doesn’t deserve her. But again, he doesn’t really deserve anything. He already has gotten too much: spoiled by the sweet possibility of life when all his comrades have fallen, their bodies twisted, mangled by titans and enemies alike.
Levi hardly cries, but he wants to cry in that moment. She turns on the stove for him, and rummages through his cabinets. She finds two cups and a sob is trapped inside his throat.
He doesn’t fucking understand why she stays, why she puts up with his sorry ass but, damn it. Damn it if he at least doesn’t try.
He stands up. His body still holds that ability, though his legs get tired rather quickly. He can still walk, so he does until he reaches the kitchen. She is still deciding on the teas when she sees him.
“Oh, no, Captain, please, just don’t…”
He interrupts her, grabs her waist carelessly and pushes her towards the couch, barely moving her.
“Let me handle it myself.”
“Levi…” She whispers, their faces inches apart.
“Go. Sit,” he mumbles, biting his lips and sending his eyes lower, so as to avoid her face.
“Are you sure?” She inquires a moment after, still close to him. He notices she has a hand on his waist as well, a protective aid making sure he stays on two feet.
“Yes,” he says, more commanding this time. He grabs that hand of hers and pushes her away gently now.
She nods, understandingly.
“I’ll be in the living room,” she adds.
Levi nods at her, making sure she finally gets that ass of hers in the couch. He is now faced with his kitchen. Most of the cups and teas, everything has been moved lower, so as to accommodate to his wheelchair. Slowly, he kneels, searching for a specific flavour for her. When he finally finds the peppermint and rose one, he mentally cheers. He stands up again, slowly, as if to show confidence, making sure from his peripheral view that she isn’t coming to his aid.
She isn’t. He catches her averting her eyes, though. A confirmation that she has been staring.
He decides to stare as well. Supporting himself on his weakened legs, he waits for the kettle to boil, while looking at her. It’s as if she could notice that, because her head doesn’t move, still fixated on an indescriptible point in his living room.
“Oi, what you looking at?” He says, a bit more light-hearted.
A smile forms on her lips before she even turns her head towards him. She doesn’t answer. Just keeps smiling at him.
“Fuck,” he thinks when he realises he has also slightly curved his lips.
Quickly he turns towards the stove, the kettle already boiling. Levi carefully fills the cups with water, letting the leaves rest. He lifts his gaze up to her for a second but it is already enough for her to notice.
“Need help with the cups?” Her, always so worried, so in tune with his needs. No need for words.
“Of fucking course.”
Still, the only answer he gives her is a polite nod. She stands up, approaching him.
“I’ll handle it, Captain. Just take a seat.”
He lets out a sigh, taking himself to the couch and plopping himself there.
“It’s hard,” Levi thinks as he sees her come back to the living room, two cups in her hands. He accepts the drink, his gaze not leaving her features. “I… I can’t.”
He knows he can’t accept kindness: he doesn’t know how to. Still, he tenses his jaw and forces himself to sip the tea as she takes a seat next to him.
“Peppermint, huh?” She hums mostly to herself.
 “… Yeah,” comes out of his mouth, unsure, less braver than expected. Is he insecure? Has he made a mistake?
“Good choice” She declares and he breathes again, realising that he had been holding his breath. “Bet you already knew that, right?” She adds, cocking her head.
Levi looks at her again. He has been avoiding her eyes but he hadn’t been trained as a soldier to back down in times of peace.
“I did,” he says, his tone firm, a very weak attempt at showing confidence still. “It’s the one you would always ask for when we would have meetings with the Scouts.”
“It’s good tea.” Her tone seems softer now.
Levi hums, too deep inside his mind to notice it.
She wonders. Wonders if he has ever realized that the only reason she would wander through the headquarters late at night was just to be found and reprimanded by him, the way she would be easily entertained by Levi’s stern face. Wondered if Hange had ever told him about the time she had fallen asleep in their office and woke up, mumbling his name, much to Hange’s delight, though they had promised to keep it a secret.
He looks down at his legs, at his carpeted floor.
He wonders if she had ever noticed the way he would mindlessly lick his lips after looking at her, the boring uniform suddenly a beautiful outfit, making her stand out. Wonders if it was too late to tell her that, yes, after Hange and her had found him, and stitched him up, that he had heard every single word she had uttered near his heart, softly pressing her timid hands on his chest. There hadn’t been time then to discuss anything or even think if it had meant anything else than old scouts being protective of each other, but now…
They finish their teas in silence. It isn’t uncomfortable, rather the opposite, despite the fact that Levi has started nervously tapping his feet against the floor. It is dark outside already, the light from the lamps flowing into Levi’s house, a dog barking a few blocks away.
She stands up, makes sure to wash her cup in the sink and put it away before returning to him.
“Captain?” She mutters. No need for more words.
Levi hands her the cup with slow movements, as if trying to prolong that insignificant action for as long as possible. And when she is already about to head into the kitchen, little plate and teacup in her hand, he decides to be brave. No more lying to himself, no more being a coward. Too many people have died, have bleed, have sacrificed the little they had for a selected group of survivors to be able to live. To enjoy the remaining Earth. For the little ones that survived to be able to find some meaning. Something worth all the pain.
Basking in the fear serves no one. In fact, makes all the death meaningless.
So, Levi looks up at her and grabs her hand, even if he is scared still. Trembling fingers dancing on hers until they secure her hand softly in his. He feels warm even if he doesn’t know what to say, how to convey what he feels. Such a shadow of the man he was. So stupid now.
Levi just wants her to say.
She gasps at the contact but quickly composes herself. A shy smile showing up on her face. They stay like that for a moment, neither daring to break the silence.
“Levi?” She asks after a moment, moving closer to his face, as if asking for permission.
He can only look at her lips in reply.
She shortens the distance between them and kisses him on his lips. It isn’t a big kiss, too flashy or provocative: just a tender contact between two broken people. As soon as he has processed what was going on, she has already moved forward, pressing a kiss on the tip of his nose.
And then, even higher, another kiss on his forehead, her lips remaining close to his face. Levi can’t say anything. Barely reacting. But when she looks at his eyes, she is greeted by the sweet glimmer of tears in them.
Levi. Happy, at last.
And as if reading his mind, she utters: “Do you want me to stay, Levi?”
“Yes. Yes, I do.”
She complies. In the quiet, late hours of the night, Levi wakes up, his body feeling too rested already. It was a habit hard to break, he wouldn��t sleep much anyway. He sighs still, feeling her body pressing against his, holding him from behind. She has one hand on his shoulder, the other keeping him safe and secured, hugging his waist close. He dares to smile and grab that hand across his belly with both of his hands, so as to make sure that it is real: he is being held. There is someone else with him. Levi isn’t alone. Someone is taking care of him. Someone he’s been devoted to for so many years.
He wants to nuzzle up closer, hide in her chest or neck and feel more.
But he doesn’t dare to. He can’t allow himself to do that yet. 
So he stays awake in silence, hearing the soothing and steady rhythm of her heartbeat.
Levi still doesn’t understand, though.
He doesn’t want to think of why she has chosen him, how he got this privilege so late in his life, when all hope seems to be lost and the thought of a partner didn’t cross his mind at all. He also doesn’t know what to do with this gift, this blessing. Why? How? He is such a crippled shadow of what he used to be. Slow, so consumed by roughness and violence and so useless now.
He has always had something to fight for: his life, his friends, his Squad, Erwin, Hange. Yet since the Rumbling he has just… fallen behind. He is just existing and it seems like his body has finally caught up to his age: no longer agile and strong, but a weakened man, finally leaving the survival mode that has characterised every single aspect of his life. He doesn’t have any goals or dreams now. Everything had been slowly trampled down like the titans destroying all land and all life.
He shivers, remembering that day and holds her hand tighter.
Once he had completed the promise made to Erwin, his last order, he had nothing more. No more commands. No more slaying titans.
Just existing.
He doesn’t want that. He has been a fighter, a rebel, a monster his whole life. He only knew of endurance and compliance with the spirit of life, of resistance. He doesn’t know of anything else: the calmness, the quietness, the routine walks and just reading books and sitting on his porch… That is not him. That isn’t life. Being able to choose things for himself, devour life gently and enjoy it instead of painfully trying to keep it close, to grip it between calloused fingers… Peace isn’t familiar.
He has nothing to devote himself to, nothing to prove or fight for.
“Yeah,” he thinks. “Everything is… meaningless… Or it was.”
He closes his eyes, relinquishing himself in the warm body against his.
Some things… Some things have meaning still.
Her.
The way she would scrunch her nose when laughing or buy him drinks or attempt to make him laugh or wear that damn stupid wrinkled dress and — “Fuck. I know her so much by now…”
She had been a Scout too. She had fought and devoted her heart and did everything a Scout had to do. She had fulfilled her duty in the same way he did. She has survived and she doesn’t regret a single thing. Not even this life.
She is at peace.
He wants to sob.
He doesn’t understand peace. Sure, it was his goal, what he always dreamed of, but, damn it. Levi had never thought he would actually get to see something resembling it. Unlike her. She understood what it was: she has accepted peace with open arms and a smile that — fuck, somehow— has been shining on her face throughout the years. Despite so much pain and death…  She still allows herself to fucking live in peace. She forgave herself for the death, for the pain and crimes and let go.
He isn’t sure if he can do the same.
Peace is foreign, strange even. An oddity. And he isn’t stupid, he knows that time would run up someday and that things would turn against them for a second time.
But, still, the promise of the rest of his life in peace lingers.
He could have it.
He fucking could.
Levi reflects on those thoughts for a moment, silent still.
He thinks he can get to an agreement. Maybe, when she wakes up in the morning, he can try to spill his soul to her a little. Try to understand how she handles this life, how she can get up in the mornings after killing so much, and just have tea with him.
But for now, in the quietness of the night, as the old warrior he was, he does the only thing he knows: he promises to dedicate his heart once more.
He finally has a reason, a purpose, something worth protecting again.
Levi lifts his hand, crossing it on his chest the way all Scouts would do. But he doesn’t press it on his heart, but rather, moves it to hold her hand, the one resting on his shoulder. He squeezes it gently, suddenly feeling too overwhelmed by her. By the silent love she had been proclaiming to him all these years and that he couldn’t reciprocate before.
Yes. Now it is the time.
Levi would dedicate his heart once more.
To her and only her.
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That may have been the cheesiest ending ever written but !!!! He deserves it, I know. Also someone stop me before I write for Hange, the feelings got to me indeed. Dividers by @/cafekitsune @/saradika and @/vase-of-lilies
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drdemonprince · 7 months ago
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The article regarding about annoying queer people sparked a by now long forgotten memory.
When I went to my first pride I snuck out secretly and thus was there after the parade. Most people were already some form of drunk or high(didn't know that at the time, I was 15 and naive beyond hope)
That was also the first time I saw puppies ever. In retrospect I must have stared and seemed like one of those annoying "no kink at pride" puriteens. They probably just wanted to allow themselves a small joke but what happened in praxis was, that a grown, white man in only puppy mask and boxers crawled up to me, stood up, started sniffing my breasts and when I started panicking and running away he run after me and everyone else watched and laughed. I think I screamed for help or cryed to please leave me be and was ignored but I can't remember much past the fear.
To them it was probably a small joke but to me it set me back for years. I didn't go to pride in that city ever again and took years to move past "no kink at pride" opinions, an opinion I didn't even have before that.
I felt incredibly isolated and wearing a small rainbow bracelet and cutting my hair took so much bravery. And it earned a lot of backlash too?
So often I see coloured hair and pins as this cutesy cringe thing of no consequence, but for me it resulted in hours upon of arguments and insults. It was worth it, because it helped me built my own identity apart from my families bigotry, but it sure wasn't fun or cutesy. Ultimately it led me to becoming brave enough to actually discover who I am and start making connections with the wider queer community.
Thankfully I had no social media accounts or I would have had some truly stupid arguments.
What I'm saying is, yes young queers can be annoying and it can be tiring to deal with them but being an asshole and vilifying them isn't the solution.
Making fun of teenagers doesn't make yourself more valid and doesn't give you the status of being an old experienced queer.
I'm saying teenagers here but the fun thing about queer people is that we can discover ourselves at any point in time. So it's less teenagers and more people newly discovering themselves as queer.
I get how annoying they can be very well now, doing voluntary work at pride does that.
Do many of those we consider annoying queers hold some harmful opinions? Yeah sure. (The amount of white queers, teens or adults, not dealing with systemic oppression beyond their own is staggering and they more than deserve to be called out. Just to be very clear, when I talk about annoying behaviour I do NOT mean microagressions or discrimination in any way)
But annoying behaviour is not synonymous to that and maybe we should all just start being less mean in public spaces? I get how satisfying it can be to get a hit tweet via a bitchy twitter reply now, but quite honestly I am more ashamed of that now than when I was running around in hoodies and short hair being painfully naive.
Because then I wasn't being mean to anyone. I had some stupid takes sure but no outlet. On twitter I was making fun of people to validate my own queer-ness. (Personally I think I was covering up for the fact that I was afraid the queer people I worked so hard to be part of wouldn't consider me one of their own. So I worked hard to show how I'm not one of "those queers".)
Either way, thanks for reading all this and thank you for sharing the article because it is something I strongly agree with. Just let people be annoying without making fun of them for it. It doesn't need to be a big deal.
Thank you for this wonderful, vulnerable, honest message about your slow path to self-acceptance in the face of a lot of barriers, anon. I'm glad that despite everything you've found your way.
Yeah, I think queer people have many reasons to feel terrified at the rising "no kink at pride" discourse, but sometimes when we lash out at puriteens we sound a bit like the childfree people who say that they hate kids?? Like, we're blaming literal children for an ideology of protecting "The Family" that has been foisted upon us.
I'm guilty of it. I was HAUNTED by the social pressure to get married and pregnant and raise a bunch of kids. It caused me massive dysphoria and didn't jibe with my queer identity. But I rebelled against it for far too long by saying that I hated kids.
It was not the kids' fault! It was the ideological specter of The Family as an institution that isolates and attacks all nonconformity and 'deviant' sexuality! Me being an asshole to children was not gonna set me free, kids were even more disinfranchised than I was!! I don't think I was ever overtly cruel to children, just kind of aloof and freaked out by them, but I definitely *did* say some numbskulled shit to my friends with kids a few times. Completely missing how disempowered mothers (and it was usually mothers) are in society BECAUSE of these same forces .
And I think something similar is going on here. Queer people are tired of having "Family Friendliness" shoved down our throats by corporations and conservatives, and so then we lash out... at young queer people. it's fine to have 18+ areas and events; It's very, very important to me that spaces like Furfest have them. But that's not the same thing as claiming young people have no space in our community as a whole. And I do think we need to erode the barriers between the adult and child worlds in a whole lot of ways, and reorient our attitudes toward nudity, sexuality, roleplaying, etc in public life. but that also doesn't mean a pup should run you out of a pride parade actually fucking sexually harassing you.
It feels great to be able to talk about this stuff! Thanks for your message.
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findafight · 2 years ago
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Okay but Joyce doesn't like Steve au that's juxtaposed by Hopper having accidentally adopted Steve but neither of them know the other's strong feelings towards Steve.
Joyce is eyeballing him all suspicious and the like. She doesn't trust him around the kids, is wary when Will talks about how he's actually pretty cool, and that Dustin is totally obsessed with him now. She greatful for his help with...whatever he did with the Upside Down stuff, but still. She knows his reputation. And her opinion doesn't change until post season 4 (despite a very frosty exchange she had with Claudia Henderson about maybe...being careful about letting Steve hang around Dustin pre S3) because suddenly Steve is like. Always at the house she shares with Hopper. She's ticked at first, because why is this random boy in her house? Hanging out and watching baseball with her daughter? And when she mentions why Steve is there all the time, at one of the seemingly rare times Steve isn't eating dinner with them (she thinks a date was mentioned, and she refrained from scoffing at how typical it was for Steve to have a date and probably not call back) El and Hop look at her like she's crazy.
Because Hopper is no longer afraid to admit his fondness for Steve. So much so that Joyce's distain for the kid throws him way off base. The whole time Joyce has been side eying Steve Hopper was sitting there smiling like Steve :) good kid :) he helped El with her hair after Kali. :') Talked about how to accept things you've done that make you feel guilty while working to make up for them and grow to be a better person :) always putting himself on the line to protect those kids :) wrote to El all the time while she was in California so she knew he was still her friend :) glad they have him. Glad El has him :)he called her Ellie last week that's cute :) unfortunate taste in men but apparently that's a family trait so I will deal with it :/ my son :')
So they're both going "why wouldn't he be?"
And Joyce barrels on like "well, he's always here and he and Jon are barely speaking-"
"Woah that not exactly...Steve's fault..."
"and he's closest to Dustin of the kids, not Will."
"not my fault I was dealing with possession when Dustin, Lucas, and Max had their special Steve adventure" (El pats his shoulder in sympathy)
"and now he's missing dinner for a date. just don't get no one else thinks it's weird!"
El frowns "it's their two-month anniversary."
"huh?"
"him and--his date. They have been dating for two months. It's special."
"El, you don't even know her name...I don't think it's that-"
"yes I do! He told me. But asked me not to tell. Right Will?"
Will nods. "They want to keep it quiet. Not ready for everyone to know? I don't know who it is but that's what Steve said when we asked. Robin definitely knows too."
"so why'd he tell El?"
"and me. He told us together."
El rolls her eyes "because he is my brother?"
Hopper's face scrunches in a smile, proud and warm.
"El, we aren't his family..."Joyce is trying, she is! But she isn't fully understanding exactly what's happening or everything in winter/spring 1985.
El looks mortally offended by this. "yes we are. Steve was my brother first."
And Joyce has to reckon with the fact that maybe she's misjudged Steve a little, if El and Hop are getting so defensive over him....
Part 2 part 3
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messiahzzz · 7 months ago
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as much as i dislike the dialogue option that leads to this scene, i genuinely appreciate gale's response. it is easy to overlook what he is actually trying to convey here and is instead commonly dismissed as him being "overdramatic" or as a display of his bruised ego.
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player: it was fine. gale: i see. gale: well, fine is... fine. nobody weeps because the weather is fine. no monarchs were overthrown because their ruling was fine. no artworks were burned because they were not masterpieces, but merely fine. player: would you have rather i lied? gale: the dignified thing for me to say is 'no. of course not. forthrightness before all.' but honestly? yes... i would have rather you lied. gale: i'm just a man. an imperfect one, with needs, wants, and flaws by the bushel. a fragile vessel in which to place potentially world-ending power. gale: perhaps it would be better to not shake such a vessel. gale: forgive me. these were already trying times before elminster delivered his missive. now, for me at least, they are potentially end times.
gale is no stranger to introspection. despite having his natural blindspots, he is fully aware of his flaws and imperfections. he lacks an inherent sense of self-preservation, displays impatience on occasion, can be hypocritical, has trouble handling pointed criticism well, and has a tendency to respond in passive aggression if he feels his competence is brought into question. he seeks admiration and is known to not honor his limitations and own safety for the sake of receiving praise.
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gale: [...] people have always commented on my confidence, sometimes my over-confidence, and in one particularly cut throat assessment at university - my 'abject and incorrigible self-delusion.'
gale is not blind to how he is perceived by others, nor does he dismiss their conclusions without careful consideration. instead of deflecting he simply takes what they dish out and files it away for later contemplation and inspection.
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player: because you acted the idiot. and paid the price for it too. gale: as always, i endeavor to be invigorated by your candour, rather than eviscerated by it. gale: blunt as your summation is - it's correct. i dared to call myself an archmage while acting the apprentice. the hallmarks of a most excellent idiot, unfortunately.
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player: i can't say i share the same high opinion of you, gale. gale: always bringing such candour to our conversations. some would think twice about mocking gale of waterdeep, but you just go straight for the gut. nodecontext: playing along, making fun of himself gale: i like that about you. it's one of your rarer qualities, though i fear my ego can take no more of it tonight. nodecontext: cheerfully accepting the brush off, not taking it personally
needs, wants, and flaws by the bushel.
gale craves as mortals do. for relevance, safety, consideration, loyalty, care, acceptance, and love. he's desperate, he's angry, he's petty and hurt and lonely. he's contradictory, and at times inconsistent. he's afraid, he stumbles, he yearns. if he loves, he does so with all his heart but forgets to extend the same love to himself. he gains understanding only to disregard it later. he is absorbed yet devoted. he expects kindness but is bewildered when it is extended to him in turn. he's neither a perfect colleague, a perfect companion, a perfect lover, nor a perfect husband. he's just another human who's trying to navigate and make sense of the world. who is silently hoping for his soul to be handled with tenderness and care, to finally be seen for who he is —no need for performance or pretense — and to be unconditionally cherished nonetheless.
a fragile vessel in which to place potentially world-ending power.
he knows the burden he carries. understanding that even a momentary lapse in judgment could spell catastrophe if he doesn't exert tight control over his emotions at all times. he knows what is at stake should he lose the composure he painstakingly had to master. a mere moment is all it takes. this self-assessment isn't an "indirect threat" intended to subject pressure on tav or solicit pity, it's a stark acknowledgment of the truth. he is a fragile human, housing powers that should've never been his in the first place.
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player: unbelievable. did you ever think what would happen if the tadpole got the better of you? gale: every waking moment. every dreaming moment too. but there was no way out.
he is also keenly aware of how his (former) colleagues perceive him, following his fall from grace.
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player: bold. few would dare to reduce a goddess to their 'muse.' gale: i am, after all, the villain of the tale.
this line in particular is one i often think about. it makes me wonder about the extent of information gale received from the outside world after locking himself in his tower for an entire year, setting magical wards so no one but tara would be able to enter. did he hear the whispers? ("shunned by the goddess of magic herself, of course, it was only a matter of time before he flew too close to the sun.") were his colleagues ridiculing him, applauding mystra for cutting off the rot at the source? how did he arrive at the assumption that he is perceived as "the villain" and not the victim?
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player: you must have been lonely, with only tara for company.. gale: sometimes. but i imposed it upon myself, after all. i set up enough wards to keep an army at bay, never mind the few colleagues who sought to inquire about my welfare.
or is this solely his own harsh judgment of his folly? that there is no chance anyone would meet him with sympathy, kindness and understanding after what he had wrought. he was too greedy, too impatient — selfish in arrogance, ravenous in ambition. letting delusions of grandeur guide him. he brought it all upon himself with his lack of patience. entirely convinced of his success and skill, blind to the possibility of failure. now doomed to drag innocents into the abyss with him. the hallmarks of a villain, right? after all, who would truly believe him that his ambition hid no ill will?
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players: by rights. i should kill you. gale: perhaps that is what i deserve, but you deserve no such thing. [...]
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obsessedwrhys · 7 months ago
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|| BRYON DATING HEADCANONS ||
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ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ just fluff, reader is gn!! (I've been meaning to do him lol)
Let's be honest, if you were to become his significant other, you would need an awfully lot of patience.
That's because he's not much of a social person, he knows who are his people and that's enough for him.
Personally, I think the only way you'd be friends with him is if you knew someone close to him. Maybe Lorsan or Lyca being the one who introduces him to you.
He doesn't like loud people. No hate. He just finds it stressful as it overwhelms his senses easily.
That's why it comes easily that he prefers someone's who's gentle and kind. Call it cliché but he appreciates beauty when he sees it.
Once your friendship starts to blossom, you'll start to notice the little things he does for you.
How he'd always be there for you if you needed some company, how he would provide you the book you had told him just the other day and how he would listen intently to your opinions even when he doesn't agree with them.
It all made you fall for him just that easy.
However, you didn't expect him to return those feelings because well, you just felt that he was way out of your league. He was too good to be true you know? So when he confessed it turned your world upside down.
Scenario ↴
You'd find yourself seated on a hill, enjoying the sunset with your eyes closed as the cold breeze blew on your face. It was nice to catch a break after finishing a handful of tasks. Suddenly you heard sounds of footsteps approaching from behind, you looked over your shoulder to see it was no other than Bryon.
"I hope I haven't disturbed you, would you mind if I share this view with you?" He'd ask politely.
"Not at all, go ahead" With your approval, he sat himself beside you. The absent of his falcon caught your attention.
"Where's Elona?"
"She's getting her rest. The battles these days have been draining" He said and you nodded to his words before turning to stare at the orange sky.
Neither of you said anything but you both found comfort in each other's presence. Due to his acute hearing, you had a feeling that he enjoyed this peaceful moment just as much as you was right now.
"May I say something?" He said which caught your interest.
"Of course, you don't need to ask" You said and it had him at ease a bit.
Though the way his jaw clenched as if he was debating on what to speak made you wonder if it was something serious.
"(Y/N), I'm afraid I have fallen for you..." He said. You had almost forgotten how to breath properly when you heard him.
"I don't know when it began... it seems like the feeling was always there. But I don't mind it. I choose not to fight these thoughts... because I love that I'm in love with you" He smiled softly at you, the blush on your face making you look ever more adorable to him.
"I wouldn't mind being yours as there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you...ah... my apologies, I'm getting ahead of myself... I didn't give you the time to speak" He said by the time he noticed that your lips were parted in shock. You quickly gained back your composure once the attention was on you.
"I uh... wow... okay..." You rubbed your arm awkwardly. Eventually you were able to think straight after calming yourself down.
"I actually feel the same way Byron... I just didn't think you'd think of me like that" You looked at him, your eyes sparkling with joy.
"Oh (Y/N)... you're all that I think about..."
When the relationship was settled, everyone congratulated you two. Especially Lorsan, he was quick to wish you both endless happiness. You had to admit, from the village's reaction, it almost felt like you two just got married.
His companion, Elona would definitely see you as her owner after a few weeks into the relationship. If he trusts you, she trusts you as well.
In the relationship, Bryon is very loving and observant. The reason why I say observant is because he'll always be fast to know what are your likes and dislikes.
Oh someone offered you a fruit you don't like? He'll simply just take it for you. There's a sale going on at the market and they have one of your favourite things on display? Watch him be the first to be in line to get it.
He also knows when you're lying about something. He hates it however when you lie about not being sick or not being cold because taking care of you is LITERALLY his job!! Besides he doesn't mind babying you, he adores you!
That's why I think his kisses are delicate and soft, most of times he'd hum when kissing but he does it unconsciously because he's completely lost in the moment, if you placed your hands on his chest, you could feel the vibrations from his voice. In a way it's like he's purring.
He loves it the most when you run your hands all over his chest when kissing. It makes him fall even harder than he already has.
If we're talking about PDA, I think he's not that against it but he's also not that crazy about it. He's willing to hold your hand, having hugs and kisses but if you initiate anything that's crossing the line or could make anyone uncomfortable then he'll simply give you a soft smile and shut your thoughts out with a simple forehead kiss.
He enjoys cuddling by the way. He enjoys it the most when you both are like covered in layers of blanket. You once teased him for it, calling it his bird nest which ended becoming an inside joke.
Like you'd be having a conversation with Lorsan and he's trying to be as patient as possible waiting for you to finish but knowing his friend, he's most likely never gonna stop talking so he'd politely invite himself into the conversation.
"Darling... can we go back to the birds nest?" He'd say, meaning he's in desperate need of cuddles. You would smile at his cute request and nod.
"BIRD'S NEST!? (Y/N), is he holding you captive???"
Expectedly, his pet names would be more of the lovey dovey stuff. He'd call you things like darling, sweetheart, baby, and even pumpkin. He enjoys your reaction each time cause you never know which one he'll use.
"You're adorable when you pout darling... oh alright, I'll buy you the candy you want. Only if you promise me a kiss after"
He's a romantic. There's no denying it. This man's love language is 100% act of service.
He's the type to light up dozens of candles at the entrance of the door so that the first thing you are greeted when coming home would be a fancy candlelit dinner prepared just for you.
He also happens to run the shower for you just as you're about to arrive home, he even places flower petals to add some scent to the mood. Anything to help you relax.
He's more of a giver than a receiver but if you ever showered him in love. He's positive that he'll faint. Even a simple "I love you" can cause him to smile all cheerfully.
You also happen to be one of the few people to see his eyes. Obviously he doesn't wear the blindfold to sleep so that's how you were able to get the chance to see him without it.
His eyes are beautiful. A perfect shade of light green and yellow, almost resembling eyes of a bird. They were pearls that entrapped you in a daze that you couldn't help but stare into them each time you cuddled with him.
He didn't mind but rather find it cute how you were in awe from his irises.
Another thing I want to point out is he enjoys holding hands with you, whatever it is, he just finds your hands fascinating.
You two could be cuddled in bed and he'd just have your hand placed on his, his fingers gently trailing against the skin of your palm.
"I love the way your hand fits in mine... it's almost like destiny..." He'd utter.
Since it's canon he has a soothing voice, you can expect him to sing you lullabies or just any song to help you go to sleep if you ever had trouble sleeping.
If you did have a nightmare, trust him to be there to hold you in his arms as he hums you a melody.
Honestly? He's just like Prince Charming but better.
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indras-wife · 7 months ago
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Thanks for responding to my first request lovely. In your opinion, what type of woman would Indra and Madara date? I cant imagine those two psychos even falling in love fr lol especially Madara
Thank you for requesting this anon💖I see Madara is becoming a prominent figure in my blog for which I am very happy. These two men are undoubtedly interesting to write about. And tbh, I couldn’t imagine Madara and even Indra feeling in love. They both are too occupied with their ideologies, so much that they have no time for love.
Nevertheless, I tried my best to describe what type of women these handsome men are looking for 👀✨Hope I did justice for the request. Feel free to send more fun ideas!
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Indra
Indra is a little old-fashioned as the type of woman he would be attracted to has to be someone who is intellectual, sophisticated, doesn’t talk back and knows her place with him. Indra does not love being challenged, especially by a woman, so having a woman next to him who knows how to behave is a very important thing for him. He wants his s/o to be smart only because he is sapiosexual and having smart woman next to him turns him on different levels. A genius man needs a genius wife (in his opinion)
He is also into women who can take care of themselves and dont fully rely on a man. Since he would be busy with running leader activites, planning the next fights with Ashura, training his soldiers, etc, he wants the woman next to him to take care of herself and her responsibilites without relying much on him. If he sees her running errands, giving orders to others on what to do, he will become even more attracted to her.
He also loves women who take care of themselves and arent messy. Of course, he realises that taking care of your skin, clothes and appearences in general is not always an easy task, especially when they have kids in the future and they are running around, but he still expects hi s/o to be presentable always. Not necessarily with full face of makeup or fancy hair styles, but still looking presentable.
Indra HATES women who talk back. If his s/o talks back to him, he would not mind showing where her place is, by putting her in a harsh genjustu. He can always find someone else to be next to him, but he is so connected with his s/o already that it would hurt him a little bit looking for someone new. So his s/o has to learn to not disobey him and talk back, or else he has a perfect punishment for such acts. And to add more, punishing his s/o with a genjutsu is a very pleasurable experience for him(very sadistic…)
Last but not least, Indra wants a woman who is willing to have many children and dedicate her time to raising them into fine, smart, educated people. His lineage has to exceed Ashura's, so having as many kids as possible is the best solution for Indra. (Also he would not let his genes goto waste, No way in hell. His ego wont let him do it)
Madara
Unlike Indra, Madara likes women who can be pretty challenging, especially in fights. The excitement he feels when his woman challanges his ideas about the world is undescribale. He enjoys listening to his love's passionate ideologies about the world, patiently waiting for her to finish s he can crush down her each and very point. He enjoys being in verbal fight with his s/o more, than being in an actual fight in a battlefield.
Madara is also someone who would not date a commoner. In his eyes, he is a God, and next to a God has to be someone who is close to his level. A commoner would be too afraid to even be next to him, while a woman of aristocracy would look perfect next to him. To add, Madara always knew that his status as a nobleman would guarantee him a noble wife when the time came , so the idea of a marriage with a commoner was always off putting and even insulting to him.
One similarity Indra and Madara share are their desires for having a wife who takes care of herself. Madara is a clan leader, so he always has to look presentable in front of everyone. His wife also must look presentable. If he notices some imperfections, like a small strand of hair falling on her face, Madara would scold her and make her go back to the room to fix her imperfect hairstyle. He doesnt care if it hurts his s/o. She chose to be with him, so she has to take his harsh criticism on every subject. This harsh criticism might change only when she becomes pregnant.
On a softer note, Madar wants his s/o to not only take care of herself, but take care of him too. It is no secret that his man has long majestic hair, and taking care of it is a pain in the ass. He wants his s/o to massage his scalp after each shower/bath, to rub essential oils all over his skin and allow him to relax on her lap. This is pure bliss for the man, something he dreamed about for years and having his s/o do it, makes him happier than ever.
Despite being a cold, ruthless man, Madara wants his s/o to be kind, gentle and sweet, Yes this man wants his s/o to be fully opposite of him. He wants to see her be close with everyone in the compound, be they kids, elders or even members from his own clan. He of course gets extremely jealous when he sees his s/o all smiley with a random men from his clan, but he also realises that this is what he wanted his s/o to be like, so he should not complain.(He still scares the poor man off later on, making sure his s/o doesnt hear about it)
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gwandas · 5 months ago
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Idk where this Nesta vs. Feyre empathy discourse came from but anyway here are my two cents
I think something to remember is that there is a difference between compassion and empathy.
Empathy is specifically a demonstrated understanding of what another is feeling.
Compassion is characterized by the desire to take action to help someone who is suffering. Compassion often involves empathy, yes, but an understanding of why another person is suffering isn't a requirement for compassion.
In my opinion, Nesta has high empathy and low compassion while Feyre has low empathy and high compassion. To be clear, they've both exhibited both empathy and compassion at times, I just think each character favors one over the other.
Feyre at her core is a fixer. She has always seen people's problems and wants to help—it's a core tenet of her character. Successfully being able to identify when people are struggling and wanting to help is compassion. Some examples of this are:
hunting in the cabin
giving jewels to the wraiths in Spring
desperately wanting to train and do more to help Tamlin rebuild Spring
her interference in Mor and Azriel's relationship
her interference in Elain and Lucien's relationship
dealing with Nesta after the war
starting the art studio for the kids, etc.
At the same time, she has trouble putting herself in other people's shoes—even in moments where she really should've been able to—which are examples where she is unempathetic.
not understanding or caring of why her sisters are apprehensive towards letting fae into their home and what that would mean for their lives (she hated the fae too)
pushing Nesta into sharing her cauldron story
jealousy of Nesta’s friendship and confiding in Amren over her
not understanding why Lucien doesn't want to be in Velaris
not understanding why Nesta was angry about the vote (she herself was angry when she learned about her mating bond)
not understanding why the CoN wants out from the Hewn City (UTM, enough said)
in general her relationship with Nesta is lacking in empathy—something that comes to mind is making Nesta’s attitude in ACOWAR all about her and the IC and completely disregarding Nesta’s actual trauma. (and it goes the other way around as well, like Nesta thinking Feyre doesn’t care about her, those girls do nooot understand each other at all)
There are times where she is empathetic too! A lot of her empathy goes towards Rhys, she understands Elain's apprehension towards Lucien, she connects the priestesses experiences to her own with Tamlin, and the jewels she gave to the wraith and the art studio are also both examples of empathy as well as compassion.
Nesta from the very beginning of her POV in ACOSF (and arguably before too) displays a deep understanding of how she is perceived and why, in addition to more general examples of empathy.
calculating the ships + crying at the thought of humans dying in the war with Hybern
her general awareness of the effect her presence has (ACOWAR dinner scene, ACOFAS solstice)
understanding while Rhys and Mor hate her
when Cassian was sad about being bested by Eris (really all the examples of her empathizing with his bastard insecurities, of which there are many—also Cassian acknowledges the dick sucking (ew) as an act of empathy)
understanding instantly why Cassian shut down while talking about his mother
softening her tone towards Gwyn when she remembered why the library was created
Feyre's comment to Cassian about how Nesta feels more deeply than others... literally the definition of empathy
understanding why the Illyrians were afraid of her (the children should be afraid of her comment or whatever it was)
if we're being real, her ability to pinpoint other people's insecurities is twisted example of empathy since it requires an understanding of how the other person feels and what would cause them pain
giving the Mask to Bryce after hearing about the murdered humans on Midgard because she understands that drive to protect humans
Something that's notable as well is that she not only understands the feelings of others, but also that she doesn't blame others for disliking her. She consistently justifies and agrees with the way she is spoken to and treated because she is empathetic towards how her mistakes have impacted other people.
Nesta however, for all her understanding, has a lot of difficultly taking action when seeing others suffering, which comes out as a lack of compassion
We know she's always harbored guilt over Feyre hunting, but never stepped in to take over that burden
She knows humans will be affected by war, as we see when she cries when the human queens say they won't help, but is reluctant to help (both in ACOMAF dinner scene and ACOWAR when Feyre wants her to share her story)
Knows what everyone wants from her after the war—Amren wants her to train, Cassian and Feyre want her to deal with her trauma, but she prioritizes going about it her way instead of the way that would make them happier (showing up to stuff and being happy?)
She knows full well what sitting on that rock means for Cassian but chooses her own discomfort and rebellion over alleviating his embarrassment
Doesn’t want to scry until threatened that Elain would if she wouldn’t, was also fine with Feyre taking on the danger if it meant she didn’t have to
This isn’t pro or anti either of them. Feyre always wants to help, but sometimes can’t see when it isn’t wanted and can’t understand the other person’s perspective in order to help them the way that they need. Nesta feels and understands a lot but has a lot of trouble outwardly expressing that empathy towards others either in the form of words or actions. This causes her to come off as cold and unfeeling when… in her POV we can tell she’s not.
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