#And MAVIS!!! GETTING IT TOO!!! MY GOD!!!!

[emile-hides]

I am shaking Zeref like a wet paper bag what a guy what a character

[animmal]

getting a handle on mavis is kinda 😵‍💫 bc on the one hand she's an empath (literally) and is shown to generally have more emotional intelligence/maturity than dr🅰️x/nebs/rocket combined, but at the same time she apparently saw no problem at all whatsoever w kidnapping kevin 🥓 for peter 😭 which is like???? i mean maybe those two things can be true at the same time but like... How. 😭 is she an empath or is she okay w taking people against their will to give as a present to her brother ?

[godddamnbranman]

maybe we just depressed cus the trees depressed

the sea depressed, the only thing we see is death

[anistarrose]

The thing about the Heart Attack segment in Wonderland is that they put so much aromantic subtext in it. They accidentally put SO much aromantic subtext in it, on behalf of multiple characters, and I'm thinking about it constantly. Let me tell you all about it.

Magnus is dropped into a dating game and literally leads with "I cannot stress enough how uninterested I am in this." Now, it's perfectly valid to read this as due to him waiting for Julia, or just him being plain old uncomfortable with having his love life put in the spotlight. However! I cannot stress enough the exchange that happens just a minute or two after that line:

Magnus (describing his ideal date): ... and we don't see each other again, ‘cause I'm really not interested in dating. Audience: [exaggerated] Oooooh! (cheers) Griffin: The silhouette is like, fanning itself. Lydia: Playing hard to get, huh? It seems like our contestant is into that.

And I just have to say: unfortunately, this is one of the most aromantic fucking experiences I've seen represented in fiction in my life. I mean — saying you're not interested in romance, then having those words twisted on you, like they're some secret coded way of saying that you are interested in romance? Not having a single way to express your disinterest that'll actually be believed? That's some aro shit right there. God. Fuck.

As an aside, it's enough to really tell that Heart Attack is not designed to be a reprieve from the pain, even though it's the "good outcome" of Trust or Forsake. It's designed to be uncomfortable. To funnel suffering to Edward and Lydia, just like all the other games do. (More on that later, in fact.) But in summary:

Magnus is a character who can be read as uncomfortable with romance for either aro-spec reasons or unrelated reasons. But in either case, his discomfort attracts reactions that reek of amatonormativity — and therefore, resonate with aromantic experiences. (Psst, I did recently write a gray-aro Magnus fic!)

Two more analyses below the cut (and only one of them is for another Horny Boy):

Obviously the next character I need to talk about is Merle. I've found aroallo readings of his character to be compelling for a long time (having sex with plants so you don't have to worry about romantic commitment, am I right?), but the way he describes his "ideal date" is another factor:

Merle: I volunteer to drive her vehicle, and tell her it's filthy, and so we go through the uh- drive through vehicle wash and she pays for that too. Um, and then I take her to have dinner with my family, and- Magnus: Wait, like your wife and stuff? Merle: She meets my ex-wife.

Merle's probably exaggerating as a joke, continuing on about both him and his partner being miserable, but I think the fact that Merle's mind goes here is genuinely drawing from a lot of poor romantic experiences in the past. He didn't get a choice about being on Heart Attack, and his marriage with Hecuba was similarly "arranged".

It's also worth noting that at this point in time, Merle is putting in the work to be part of Mavis and Mookie's lives again, but is not interested in doing the same for Hecuba — he instead just asks Mavis how Hecuba's doing. That said, given that Magnus is the one to put the focus on Merle's ex-wife, I think it's fair to read the "family" comment as Merle actually expressing that he'd rather spend time with his kids than give any special romantic attention to his date. Moving on to the rest of the "joke":

Merle: She's having a miserable time and she's really mad, she can't wait to get outta there. I take her back to her house, and so I lean up against the door jam and say, 'Sure you don't want me to come in for a few minutes?' and she slams the door in my face.

It's possible Merle just has a more roundabout, self-deprecating way of expressing a similar thing to what Magnus did: Merle just isn't interested in dating. To me, the last line implies he might not say no to sex, if offered — but overall, it reads as if Merle is putting minimal effort in because he's looking for an excuse to get out of this relationship anyway.

It's also possible that Merle's "rejection" of a suitor being so disguised as humor could point to him still coming to terms with his disinterest in dating. Particularly, in comparison to Magnus, who is so vocal and unashamed about it, while Merle might still be figuring this all out.

(Honestly, the self-deprecation Merle turns to here is actually kind of sad, when viewed in that light — he already lets himself be the butt of jokes so often, and now he feels like the way romance doesn't click for him has to be a joke, too? Oof. Someone give him a hug and tell him he's not broken this instant!) But regardless:

Merle views dates, and perhaps romance in general, as things that will inevitably turn disastrous for him and any party involved with him, and he would rather spend time with his children than repairing a relationship with an ex, or cultivating a relationship with a new partner. This is not an experience exclusive to the aro-spec umbrella, but you can't say that an aromantic reading of his character doesn't fit him like a gardening glove...

...which he wears while fucking his plants. Because plants don't demand emotional intimacy, nor take too much time away from the platonic relationships that matter more to him. And you know what? He's fucking valid for that! Fly your flag, nasty grandpa!

But moving on: I promised you aromantic analysis of characters outside of our protagonists, and henceforth, that analysis I will provide. And not just because I admittedly see Taako as the token alloromantic (though clearly an aro ally; if he hadn't chosen Forsake we wouldn't have gotten all this incredible characterization!)

I digress. So let's go on to addressing the lich twins in the room: Edward and Lydia.

Remember my argument earlier that Heart Attack serves the purpose of collecting suffering just like the rest of Wonderland does? How it's just a subtler way of making Wonderland's victims fundamentally uncomfortable?

...Using, of all things, romance?

How the vogue twins, for whatever reason, felt inspired to make people uncomfortable with matchmaking and adoration? How, some way or another, they noticed how much potential romance had to induce suffering? Being pressured into a relationship, being told that no matter how firmly you say you're uninterested, you're not really uninterested?

...Relatedly, I have always gotten the sense that Edward and Lydia projected relentlessly onto their victims.

Edward: This resolve, this desire to do whatever it takes no matter the cost to save yourselves — do you know who you three remind me of? Magnus: No? Merle: Who? Edward: Us!

I'm even going to go a step further and say that on top of projection, they want their victims to go through things they went through. Swallowing the guilt of having fucked someone else over to survive, of course — that's basically self-admitted. But possibly also... the feeling of not being able to get back what you lost (Keats). The feeling of not being able to heal (Keats).

So, where does that leave Heart Attack?

Lydia: It was the three of us, surviving against all odds. The world against us.

Their family of three was (is) indescribably important to them. I'm not necessarily saying that societal expectations of romance, especially of romance as a priority above that of family, left a bad taste in their mouths — if not downright contributing to their trauma — but, okay, I wrote the rest of this post and now that I'm back, I can no longer deny it. I'm definitely, absolutely saying that.

At the time of the podcast, we know Edward and Lydia's own relationship is heavily strained. Until the end, they are lying to themselves and to each other about the fact that they continue to be emotionally and magically reliant on each other. After all, Lydia wouldn't say "I guess we really needed each other after all" in her dying moments with such surprise otherwise.

This is the second reason that I... well, I wouldn't quite call it a "theory," but I find it most impactful to read Edward and Lydia as characters for whom the concept of Love has baggage. And always has, from their origins as youth in a tough spot in an already amatonormative world.

Maybe the constant societal devaluing of platonic, familial bonds left them with serious emotional scars. Maybe the constant conflation of Love and morality just weighed on them and weighed on them and weighed on them until they decided: well, we don't love the way people expect us to, so we might as well give up on being the good people they expect us to be. We might as well embrace this new fuel of suffering.

...And you know, I hope this gets across what I mean when I always say I headcanon villains as aromantic to make them more sympathetic.

Edward and Lydia, textually, are already tragic villains. As twins and liches, they're also textually foil characters to several of the Seven Birds. But I also like to think that they have a lot in common with Magnus and Merle, and the possibility that tugs at my heartstrings the most is the possibility of them all falling under the aromantic umbrella.

[ihavea-natural-curiosity]

it frustrates me to no end that only Hoziers love songs (mostly the “love” songs but that’s another issue for another day) ever get popular, and when his protest/call to action/social commentary songs do get popular, they get misinterpreted to HELL. (god i love Take Me To Church but holy shit that’s NOT A CHRISTIAN SONG AKDBEB) (and honestly his “love” songs also get misinterpreted too but again, different day)

it’s lead to this public view of him mostly being that he’s some forest dweller who only writes love songs to his human lover. his most social commentary songs are the least popular, which i know happens to every artist ever, but it just irks me especially with him, especially because he’s becoming more mainstream and more people are being dumb about his songs

so, anyway, here are some of my favorite of his commentary/protest songs, i urge you to listen!!

oh and here’s the speech he made at Ruoff on May 28th, filmed by me!

(here’s my release order Hozier playlist too)

[lg-123]

Stoner-Ajax P

Summary: The vampires and gorgons don’t socialize normally, that is until y/n finds out Ajax has the best stuff.

Pairing: Ajax Petropolus x y/n

masterlist

Summary: The vampires and gorgons don’t socialize normally, that is until y/n finds out Ajax has the best stuff.

Pairing: Ajax Petropolus x y/n 

Vampires and gorgons didn’t associate too much inside Nevermore. Sure, there were some who were friends in larger groups, but for the most part they stayed separate. It may be because vampires aren’t affected by the snakes, or because the vampires can’t feel the gorgons’ emotions, but either way y/n knew to stay clear of them. 

Y/n sighed as she made her way out of class, she was stressed beyond measure. Her mother had sent her a letter reminding her that she was falling behind her siblings, having yet to drink human blood. Y/n didn’t want to, and she thankfully had found some friends who were on the same page, but this only angered her mother. Her friend Mavis had advised her that smoking weed would help, did y/n understand how? Not at all, but she always listened to her friend’s advice. 

That’s how she found herself leaning against the wall, outside fencing practice. It only took a second for y/n to spot him, his beanie covered his head making him stick out against his friends.

“Hey Ajax!” The girl said, causing the boy to turn on his heel, questioning why the Y/n Y/ln wanted to speak to him. 

“Well, what do I owe the pleasure?” The boy took in the girl in front of him. He knew exactly who she was. Her curly hair was tucked behind her ears and her teeth showed lightly as she bit her lip. Ajax would never admit that this girl has been on his mind for the past two months. 

“I- uh I need some stuff...” y/n whispered, looking around the hall to make sure no one could hear. Ajax was shocked, vampires usually didn’t mess around with getting high off marijuana, usually they used people for that. 

“Do you need it to get high?” The gorgon questioned. “Can’t you just go into town and-” 

“No!” The girl had interrupted, her face growing flush with embarrassment and Ajax realized she wasn’t like the other vampires at Nevermore. “I just- do you have anything to help with stress?” She looked at the gorgon, fulling taking him in as he seemed to be in his own thoughts. His nose was thick, but it suited his face, y/n could see slight muscles under his shirt, having just come from practice. He was cute, she couldn’t lie, but vampires couldn’t like gorgons. 

She was interrupted out of her thoughts by Ajax speaking again. “Yeah, I got some stuff, but you can’t take it alone. Do you have anyone to stay with you while you do it?” Y/n racked her brain, Mavis was the only one she trusted to take care of her like that. She shook her head no and frowned slightly. Ajax noticed the crease on her forehead and before he could think spit out the words:

“You can come to my dorm and take it, that way I can make sure you are okay.” Mentally Ajax was punching himself, that was way to forward but surprisingly the girl nodded in agreement. 

Y/n had no idea why she agreed to take it in Ajax’s room, but he offered and her responded before she could think. And that’s how she ended up hanging upside-down off Ajax’s bed, smoking a blunt and giggling at God knows what. She felt so much more relaxed, the pot helping take her mind off her mother and talking to Ajax wasn’t as bad as she thought. And so, it became their thing, Y/n would get stressed and text Ajax and 5 minutes later they were smoking in his room.

----------

“Dude it’s been two months of you guys meeting up twice a week to smoke, ask her out already.” Xavier whacked Ajax on the back of the head. He was tired of his best friend coming to him daily and talking about the vampire but not doing anything. 

“Dude no, what if she rejects me, then things will be awkward. I’m perfectly fine just letting her use me for smokes.” In all truth, Ajax was not fine at all, in the past two months Ajax and y/n had grown to be best friends. They would talk about any and everything, sometimes not even smoking, just sitting in each other’s presence until y/n felt peace. And as much as Ajax loved it, y/n loved it more. 

“Y/n next time you go to his room just kiss him!” Mavis yelled at the girl. Y/n had realized over the past two months what a major crush she had on Ajax, to the point where she missed an entire lecture because she was too busy staring at him. Y/n was against this idea Mavis had though, because she was so sure he didn’t feel the same. Y/n left shortly after to meet up with Ajax, who was already on his bed, joint in hand. 

Within no time they were both high, giggling and the most random things when all of a sudden Ajax stopped. Y/n looked up to see him staring at her, memorizing her face. Her cheeks flushed and she mumbled a quiet “what?”. The weed definitely was in Ajax’s favor because he shot back immediately with:

“You’re beautiful.” 

Both of them froze, realizing what was said. Ajax began cursing at himself, laying back on his bed and shutting his eyes, praying it as all a dream. “Ajax” y/n whispered, causing the boy to open his eyes and sit up. Her eyes were focused on him intently, and the weed was also in her favor because she leaned forward and grabbed the back of his neck. Pulling him into a soft kiss, both afraid it wasn’t real. They pulled apart, unsure of what to do next. 

“Would you want to go out?” Ajax said, breaking the tension.  “Yes!” Y/n said, pulling him back in to meet her lips, and that’s how they stayed for the rest of the night. 

[uselesssomebody]

𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕔𝕙𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕣 - cedric diggory x reader

complete masterlist | harry potter masterlist

words || 𝟚𝕜

series masterlist || week to all hallows' eve

summary || in which the reader and cedric's friends like to play matchmaker

a/n || oh my god? more? but this time, it's part of a multifandom series! ➵ part of my 'week to hallows' eve' halloween countdown. check out the masterlist ^ ➵ i've never watched titanic; can you tell? ➵ i wrote this super late a night so please don't be mad if it is a little ass ➵ this was inspired by a convo with a friend but i realize that it is also veryyy similar to @creativepromptsforwriting halloween prompt (#418) & a audio on the g.w.a. subreddit so great minds think alike i.g. ➵ not yet proofread ➵ send me requests if you have ‘em. enjoy!

warnings || fluff

her friends had been quite adamant about the outfit that she was currently wearing. it was a period-type: long dress, hair pinned up into a half up-do. it was supposed to be the character of rose from the titanic. the red, seemingly expensive, fabric of her dress wrapped around her figure snugly, and she couldn’t help but find herself gazing just a bit too long at her own reflection in the mirror.

“move your hair out ‘f your face, hon.” she turned to look at her good friend, mavis williams, who was currently giddy at the thought of painting her friend’s face. she complied, pushing the straggling locks of hair on her face behind her ears. she tries to sit as still as possible as mavie attempted to place the light dust of blush on her cheeks and accentuated her eyes just slightly by adding a swipe of eyeliner to each. she marveled at her friend’s ability, knowing that she would have used much more time to complete the same task to the level at which her friend could.

after she was done, she stood up to smooth the wrinkles in her dress, grasping on the necklace at the vanity while mavie went on to do her own makeup - having dressed as cher from their collective favorite movie: clueless.

dottie had left about a half-hour ago to meet up with her ravenclaw friends, and martha had just left to go find her boyfriend. on the other hand, mavie and herself would meet with mavie’s hufflepuff boyfriend, and all three of them would head down to the gryffindor common room, where fred and george, with the help of angelina johnson, had organized a halloween party - advertised as transcending house boundaries, cause no one should be able to recognize anyone anyways.

she was excited to go, not seeing her own friends outside of classes that much and now finally getting a chance. she also did love the weasleys’ parties, a common sentiment shared through the school.

she watched as mavie finished up her own outfit, popping the signature stick of gum in her mouth, before - as if on cue - they both heard a knock at the door. mavie rises up, a smile she tries to suppress still beaming over her cheeks, as she opened the door and greeted her boyfriend. well, she says greeted - the girl pulled him into a jovial kiss almost immediately, having not been able to spend much time with him over the past few weeks. after the show, she joined the cute couple, and nodded at her friend’s boyfriend. he’s quick to greet her, friendly smile ever-present on his face.

“hey, connor! josh, right?” she refers to cher’s love interest in the movie, pointing at his boring-for-anyone-else outfit. truly, it didn’t work without the appearance of his girlfriend, but it didn’t really seem like the two of them would separate for much time tonight anyways.

as soon as they near the stairs, they can already hear the heavy bustling and chatter standard of a weasley party, seeing the common room flooded with people in all sorts of costumes as they ventured down. many were the standard: zombies, vampires, werewolves. there were a few fairies, elves and the like. then, there was an assortment of movie and tv characters. she glanced around for her friends, immediately finding dottie - who was in a white shirt and tight corset - with her ravenclaw friends, emulating a team of bloodthirsty pirates. martha went to greet her, with her boyfriend in tow, and she marveled at the cute outfit: baby and johnny from dirty dancing.

her friends were all talking amongst themselves, being shockingly distant to her and, for the life of her, she couldn’t tell why. deciding to ignore it, she broke away to go find the refreshments counter - a butterbeer had never sounded better. she filled a glass with the stuff - the sweet drink having been infused with something slightly more potent to really make this a party, and she absentmindedly glanced at who else was attending.

well, she says absentmindedly, but, truly, she’s looking for one person: cedric diggory. see, the girl had had an almost embarrassing crush on the boy for some time now, and the only people who knew that were her dorm-mates and close friends. half the reason she’d come to this party was because mavie had heard that he’d be here and, as pitiful as it was, she was really excited to see him.

“’lright there?” she’s broken out of her thoughts by a loud voice - voices. in the blink of an eye, she’s surrounded by hogwart’s double trouble, and fred and george both have somewhat expectant looks on their faces.

“hmm? yeah, yeah, i’m great! ‘t’s a nice party.” she nods back at them, plastering a smile to make it look like she was more tuned in to their conversation that she actually was.

“how come you sound surprised? all our parties are nice -” started fred, but george was quick to cut to the chase, knowing they had other guests to talk to (see: bother).

“we just wanted to say that you’ve got a cute outfit. pretty original of a couple this year, y’know? most of these other ones are pretty similar.” she’s nodding along, but, suddenly processing what they said, she’s a bit confused.

“couple? wait, what?” fred and george look at her for a moment, before looking at each other.

“uh, jack? like jack & rose?”

“yeah, we tend to zone out when dad puts muggle movies on but even we know that one.” then, suddenly fred smacks his brother’s shoulder.

“oh, george, she’s just messing with us,” if there was one thing the weasleys hated, it was getting beat at their own game of sarcasm, “good one, but you won’t pull fast one over good ol’ freddie that easily.” he laughs at his own comment, before him and his brother waved her off. except, the issue was that she truly had no idea what they were talking about. of course, she was well aware of the implication of jack when she was rose, but it was fairly obvious that she had come alone, right? and that jack, in fact, was not here with her?

she figured that the boys had just been messing with her, deciding to gulp down the rest of her butterbeer and make her way back to dottie. she was struggling with clipping on her corset as she spoke with a friend, so she went up behind her and helped her out.

“hey, dot.” she mumbles, and she tightens the clasp. her friend gives her a sweet smile of gratitude. suddenly, dot’s friend gasps and looks at her.

“oh my god, your guys’ costumes are so cute!” she smiles back at the friend, a little confused by her way of speaking but grateful nonetheless.

“yeah, haha, thanks. mavie really helped me out and, honestly, dot looks like she’s really gone all out for this -”

“oh, no, not dot!” the friend’s quick to clarify, “i mean the handsome jack to your beautiful rose.” she sent a playful wink to her confused face and, when she turns to look at dottie, she sees her suppressing a smile.

“dot? dot, what did you do?” she hisses to her friend, and all she does in response is shake her head.

“ask mavie and connor, it was their idea!”

“what was?” dot just shrugged. a little exasperated now, she left and set off on the quest to find mavis, infinitely more confused now than she was before.

as she weaved her way through the groups of people, she found herself looking back to apologize to someone whose toes she'd stepped on, prompting her to walk right into someone. they grasp at her biceps to steady her, a polite litany of apologies already leaving their mouth. as soon as she hears them speak, she recognizes them, hoping her ears haven’t gone too red.

“it’s - um, cedric, you’re fine. it was my fault, i wasn’t looking-” as she glances down to look at his own outfit, she stops. he does the same. for a moment, they’re both examining the other, the gears in their heads clicking into place with each second.

“connor…”

“i’m gonna kill mavie.” they both mutter the names of their traitors, before cedric looks up at her, and laughs lightly.

“god, i’m so sorry, this must be so awkward.” she immediately goes to shake her head, laughing as well.

“no! it’s not awkward. just…oh, mavie’s always been a bit extra about things like this.” she mumbles, trying to find a way to diffuse the situation. luckily, cedric’s much better at that then she is as, after taking a half-step back, he daintily grabs her hand in his and presses it lightly to his lips.

“rose.” he says it with affection, and she blinks, having to remind herself that it’s for the sake of the bit.

“jack.” she curtsies lightly in response, hoping the low light covers her blush.

“i was just about to get myself a drink, would you like one?” god, he’s such a damn gentleman, she thinks, before shaking her head.

“i’ve already had one, but i’ll go with you, if you don’t mind?” there’s the faintest hint of desperation in her voice, and she’s just hoping to god he doesn’t pick it up.

“that’d be lovely.” he holds his arm out for her, and she takes it delicately, knowing anything more would come off as too intimate. he’s really playing into the bit.

after getting himself a drink, they find seats near the edge of the room, the place slightly more reclusive and giving themselves an environment to talk.

“how’s your night been so far?” he asks conversationally. she sighs in faux exasperation.

“it’s felt pretty orchestrated, to be completely honest,” he laughs, and she does too, “y’know, mavie’s always trying to play matchmaker, but i usually figure out her ploys ahead of time.” he nods in agreeance.

“it’s the same with connor - he seems to be a bad influence on his girlfriend.” he says it in humor, with a fake accusatory tone.

“oh, i’m sure it’s the other way around.” there’s a beat of silence.

“we do make a cute couple.” he lingered on the word, before rephrasing, “a cute couple’s costume.” then, having noticed her face perk up at the first sentence and then again depress at the next, he attempts to hide a smile behind his glass, “i think we’d make a cute couple too.” she stares at him with narrow eyes for a moment.

“y’think so?” it’s a mumble, because she really, really hopes he isn’t playing games with her right now. he’s silent for a moment, before clearing his throat. his usual air of confidence had dwindled slightly, and she looked at him with big, questioning eyes.

“i’d - uh, i’d hope we make a cute couple.”

“you hope?” he laughs, before shaking his head and moving closer to her.

“i am trying to ask you out here. can ya, uh, help me out?” the last bit’s a joke, but she’s too busy processing his first sentence to notice.

“you - you want to ask me out?” she’s baffled, having assumed that all her previous affections towards him had been one-sided.

“i mean, if you’d let me. ever since connor introduced us, i thought you were just so sweet and i - uh - i guess i just didn’t have the courage before.” still in shock, she doesn’t answer for another moment, and he looks down at the ground, “i’m sorry, you can just say no, i didn’t -”

“no!” he deflated at the exclamation, ready to accept the rejection, before she shook her head, taking his hand, “no, i mean yes! i’d love to go out with you.” he looks confused, and it makes her laugh, “cedric, please. i would really enjoy going on a date with you.” he smiles, pressing another soft kiss to her hand.

“y’think we should tell them that this worked?” he said after a moment, in reference to mavie and connor. her eyes widened.

“oh, absolutely not!”

[theriddlersunderwear]

Uncuffed Pleasure P. 1

SMUT. SMUT SMUT ALL THE SMUT. THERE WAS PENETRATION SONIC.

Mavis Cooper, but he's a detective. Adding to his lore. Gay sex, Oswald is both baffled and insecure about being with a police officer.

Oswald was a shivering mess as he came down from his orgasm, his heart pounding in his chest. Who knew the new detective was so good with his mouth.

His eyes fixed on Mavis, the man's lips still wet, and Oswald's face darkened with redness and embarrassment.

"God, you're...you're a damn mess…" he muttered, reaching down to tug the boy towards him.

The two kissed, Oswald pulling the detective's body on top of his with a sharp gasp.

Mavis’ lips were still dripping with Oswald's release, the taste of it on his lips, and he pulled the boy in even closer, the realization of what they'd just done only adding to the heat rushing through his body.

Oswald broke the kiss after a moment, panting for breath. "Damn, you…”

Oswald became increasingly aware of Mavis rubbing against him. The blue-eyed angel was painfully hard.

The feeling of the male's hardness suddenly made him feel a little embarrassed again, I mean fucking a policeman, what would his MOTHER say? But Oswald was too far gone to really care all that much.

"Mnn...you're, um, excited..." he muttered, feeling the boy's heat against his body.

"It's my turn," Mavis whined. "That's a police order.”

Oswald flushed. The Penguin was already getting aroused again. He looked down at the GCPD detective that was straddling his waist.

“An order?” He teased. Oswald Cobblepot didn't take orders.

"You may be King of Gotham, but you still answer to the police. And the police wants blown.”

A jolt of excitement rushed through the crime lord, and he suppressed a shiver at Mavis’ words, as well as the tone of command.

He swallowed, a mixture of arousal and uncertainty going through him.

"I...if those are your orders, officer," he said, his voice a hint huskier.

"That's Detective Cooper to you, Cobblepot," Mavis said in a sultry voice.

The tone went right through Oswald, sending a shiver down his spine, and he involuntarily let out a quiet sound of arousal.

He leaned forward, pinning Mavis into the bed and keeping him there with a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Detective Cooper," he repeated, his voice low, "What are you going to do? Arrest me?”

“I just might,” Mavis said in a bratty tone. “Don't make me cuff you.”

The threat of handcuffs made Oswald shiver, and the way Mavis was leaning back and looking up at him had the man's face burning redder than ever.

His heart was racing now, and he swallowed heavily, reaching forward to pin Mavis by the shoulders, keeping the boy in place.

"You wouldn't dare, officer," he said, though his tone was a little shaky with excitement.

A gasp left Mavis as he was restrained against the mattress.

"Go ahead, Cobblepot. I like my criminals rough," he growled.

The boy's response was like a spark of heat in his gut, and Oswald shuddered at the thought of being rough with Mavis – the Detective, a cop, someone who was supposed to be keeping his city safe.

"You're asking for it, you know that, darling? You're just begging for it," he snarled, his hands tightening on the officer's wrists and pinning him in place.

"Careful... damaging city property is a crime," Mavis murmured, sucking Oswald's neck.

The feeling of Mavis’ lips against his neck had the boy shivering, but he still managed to let out a shaky snort at his words.

"Oh no. What should I do? Is the detective gonna punish me for it?" he teased, tilting his head back to allow Mavis better access and digging his fingers into his wrists.

"I'm not above spanking... but it might count as police brutality," Mavis squirmed, grinding against him in search of friction.

His shameless grinding made it hard for Oswald to form a coherent sentence - he was barely able to keep a hold on himself.

"Nnh- God, you're a menace, you know that?" he growled.

Mavis freed one hand that was held over his head and gave Oswald a light smack on the ass.

The smack, though light, was still enough to make Oswald let out a soft gasp of surprise, his body jolting in reaction to the hit.

The realization that it was Mavis - a cop, his police officer - hitting him like that sent a rush of excitement through him, and he dug his fingers into Mavis’ arm, almost whimpering.

"...you cheeky bastard," he snarled, though there was no real force behind it.

When Oswald first met Mavis when he came to Fish's place with Harvey Bullock, Oswald hadn't imagined that he'd be having sex with a GCPD detective months later. It was funny, really - Oswald had spent so much of his life fearful of the law, wary of the police due to the rampant corruption in the city. He'd never imagined that he could ever get that close to a cop, never thought he'd ever be so intimate or trusting of one...

And yet, here he was, with a detective pinned underneath him, making him feel good, and making him feel wanted.

All reservations about the King of Gotham and a GCPD detective being together were thrown out the window. The two men started devouring each other in a frenzy of rough kisses, tongue, and saliva.

The kisses were positively messy, with both men so eager and desperate that the kisses were more tongue and teeth than anything else.

Oswald's hands were everywhere, roaming all over the cop's body, wanting to feel and touch and possess every inch of him.

"From the front or back?" Mavis asked between kisses, his nails scraping down Oswald's back.

The Penguin gasped as Mavis’ nails scratched his skin, his eyes closing as he shivered at the sensation.

"I-" His voice was shaky, mind too clouded with pleasure and desire to really make a decision.

"H-however...however you want it, darling," he finally breathed, his hands squeezing the boy's hips.

“Turn around,” came the breathy command.

The order, coming from the boy, had Oswald shuddering, and he didn't hesitate to obey.

He moved into position, shifting and turning around until he was facing away from Mavis, his body tense with anticipation.

There was no time to stop and dig out a bottle of lube. Mavis just spit on his hands and rubbed himself down, calling that good. He was slow as he entered, holding Oswald flush against his chest.

The feeling of Mavis filling him had Oswald arching back against him, his body instinctively trying to pull the man in as close as possible.

A cry burst from his lips, a sound of pure ecstasy - it was like nothing he'd ever felt before, and he suddenly found himself wondering why he hadn't done this with the detective earlier.

"What do you want, baby? Fast or slow?”

The Penguin's brain almost seemed to short-circuit at the question - just the thought of having the choice was a lot for his already overwhelmed mind.

"Please-" he choked out eventually, "Please fast, please, God don't go slow-”

And holy shit did Mavis deliver.

The speed had Oswald almost whining, overwhelmed with the sensations, almost like he couldn't keep up with everything that was happening to his body.

His entire body quaked with pleasure, and he found himself desperately trying to hold back anything more than soft whimpers and moans.

"Where do you want me?" Mavis groaned, nearing his climax.

The question had Oswald squirming, his mind struggling to focus enough to come up with an answer, to think enough to answer him.

"M-my mouth, my m-my mouth-," he panted.

"Yeah?" He gritted his teeth, started to rub Oswald. "You want it? You want to swallow?”

Mavis’ voice, the way he was touching him — it was almost too much for Oswald to handle, and he keened, struggling to string together a coherent sentence.

He nodded desperately, needing this, needing more than just touch.

"Nn-yes," he whimpered, "Please, please, I want it, I need it-"

Mavis pulled out carefully, moving so he was in Oswald's mouth. He managed to be both gentle and rough, shoving his member down Oswald's throat. He brushed Oswald's hair back.

"There you go, needy brat," the detective said fondly.

The name, combined with the man's tone, had Oswald flushing with embarrassment - and excitement. He'd never before enjoyed being called anything so demeaning, but the way Mavis was speaking to him had him shuddering with pleasure.

He wrapped his lips around Mavis, trying - and failing - to suppress a moan. The fondness in the detective's tone didn't go unnoticed. Like he genuinely loved Oswald.

A shudder cascaded through Mavis’ muscles as he released himself. Oswald swallowed hard, some still coating his bruised lips.

The feeling of the detective releasing down his throat sent an almost dizzying pleasure through Oswald's body, and the man swallowed, savoring the taste on his tongue.

When Mavis was done, he pulled back, panting shakily. He was a mess - lips red and hair disheveled, and he was still shaking slightly with excitement.

He licked his lips, savoring the taste, and looked up at Mavis almost hungrily.

"Now we're both a mess," Mavis teased, wiping his chin. Both of their lips were dark and bruised, and they were littered with hickeys, bite marks, and scratches.

The two were an absolute mess, and Oswald wouldn't have had it any other way.

The marks all over his skin and the aches all over his body had him feeling a strange sense of pride, like Mavis had marked him - claimed him, and the thought had him shivering in excited pleasure.

"I...I don't think I can walk," he muttered shakily, collapsing back on the bed.

"You can't walk on a good day," Mavis pointed out with a smirk. He snuggled up to Oswald, cleaning could wait.

The comment had Oswald flushing with heat, his eyes narrowing as he shot the man with what was probably supposed to be a glare.

The attempt was ruined by the fond smile on his lips and the way he leaned in to rest his head against his chest, his arms curling around Mavis’ body as he cuddled in close.

"M' tired," he mumbled, closing his eyes and letting out a content sigh.

But one question--one tiny question--lingered around at the back of Oswald's mind. A question born of insecurity rity and a deep mistrust for the Gotham police.

Did Mavis really love him?

The thought appeared, unbidden, in the Penguin's mind.

Oswald was all too used to relationships of convenience, transactional bonds where people only pretended to like you to use you for their own benefit.

But Mavis...he was a man with morals, with a strong sense of justice. And, most damning of all, an officer of the law. What reason would he ever have to truly want to be with someone like Oswald?

"You're thinking real loud," Mavis prodded gently, rubbing Oswald's back.

Oswald jumped subtly at the boy's question, the soothing rubbing on his back making it difficult to maintain his composure.

He opened his eyes, staring up at Mavis for a moment. He should just let it go. He should just let the doubt go, and enjoy this for what it was.

But that insecure part of him was too difficult to ignore, and before he could help it, the question was falling from his lips.

"...why me?”

[thesunsethour]

my official ranking of (basically) every song by hozier

(ignoring some collabs/songs from soundtracks etc)

(this is just my opinion no one shout at me)

(he has no Bad songs, only Less Brilliant ones)

52) To Noise Making (Sing) (the sing chorus at the end goes on just *that* bit too long

51) Sunlight (slightly repetitive)

50) Nobody (maybe this is controversial? does however contain one of my favourite lyrics “it’s suicide Tuesday back in LA”)

49) Sedated (the lowest ranked song of his self titled album and it’s not because it’s not good it’s because his discography is fucking insane)

48) Someone New (only ranked this low because it was very overplayed in Ireland when it came out)

47) Almost (Sweet Music) (this was never my favourite song but who can resist “i laugh like me again she laughs like you”)

46) Son of Nyx (hozier made the best study music song of all time)

45) Wasteland, Baby! (sounds exactly like the album feels, if that makes sense?)

44) Swan Upon Leda (would be higher but i keep accidentally forgetting to add it to my playlist because it’s not on an album. also Free Palestine)

43) Better Love (hozier’s voice is so beautiful)

42) Dinner & Diatribes (ever since someone said he sounds like Count von Count in this song i can’t un-hear it)

41) It Will Come Back (so sexy. one of the sexiest songs in his oeuvre)

40) NFWMB (an under appreciated classic. i remember playing this in the car when my dad was dropping our friend’s kid to school and getting in trouble for the cursing)

39) The Parting Glass - Live from The Late Late Show (not only a beautiful rendition, but it was also performed during covid when everyone was feeling very hopeless and he just captivated ireland for a few short moments. gorgeous)

38) Anything But (we are reaching the territory of songs that are so goddamned good that it feels a crime they are so low down. he has dozens of such songs)

37) In the Woods Somewhere (eerie vibes which are beautiful and exacerbated when you find out he based this on a dream he had)

36) To Be Alone (again, CRIMINAL that this is so low down. blame hozier having so many good songs. don’t blame me)

35) Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene (a bop AND a banger AND a jam. triple threat)

34) Damage Gets Done (their voices are soooo beautiful together)

33) Be (“When Atlas acts the maggot” is one of Hozier’s best Irish culture lines)

32) The Jackboot Jump - Live (BUT THE JACKBOOT ONLY JUMPS DOWN ON PEOPLE STANDING UP!!!)

31) Shrike (this song made me cry when i first heard it and i am Not one to cry)

30) To Someone From a Warm Climate (Uiscefhuaraithe) (GAEILGE MENTION!!!!)

29) Jackie and Wilson (one of my first ever favourite hozier songs)

28) Talk (i love the myth of orpheus and eurydice and i ALSO imagine being loved by hozier)

27) Moment’s Silence (Common Tongue) (blowjobs)

26) Eat Your Young (hozier wrote this for all first year trinity students who had to read Swift for their intro to irish writing lectures)

25) All Things End (don’t be sad. we begin again :). hozier said so)

24) I, Carrion (Icarian) (soft, sad, beautiful. like hozier)

23) Nina Cried Power (feat. Mavis Staples) (also very overplayed in Ireland but this time it really deserved it!!)

22) Cherry Wine - Live (one of the most beautiful and recognisable guitar bits of all time. yes i said guitar bits i don’t know anything about guitars)

21) As It Was (the drug the dark the light the flame…)

20) First Time (“anyway”)

19) Who We Are (makes me feel like my chest is being lifted to god)

18) No Plan (“As Mack explained, there will be darkness again” is one of the all-time great Hozier lyrics actually)

17) Would That I (it’s illegal for anyone to dislike this song)

16) De Selby (Part 2) (he wants to run against the world that’s turning!! he moves so fast that he’d outpace the dawn!!)

15) De Selby (Part 1) (AN ENTIRE VERSE AS GAEILGE)

14) Like Real People Do (once again, how is this so low? hozier is too good. “we should just kiss like real people do” lyrics of all time)

13) Butchered Tongue (i wrote an entire essay post about this song. with citations)

12) From Eden (time has maybe made us forget just how fucking insanely good this song is. IDEALISM SITS IN PRISON CHIVALRY FELL ON HIS SWORD INNOCENCE DIED SCREAMING. also reminds me of verse 2 of Human by The Killers)

11) Work Song (WHEN MY TIME COMES AROUND LAY ME GENTLY IN THE COLD DARK EARTH. NO GRAVE CAN HOLD MY BODY DOWN. I’LL CRAWL HOME TO HER. also special mention for: “in the low lamp light i was free” aka the name of one of my criminal minds fanfics. moving on)

10) Run (SOOOOO underrated. literally rare is this love keep it covered! run to me run to me lover! run until you feel your lungs bleeding!)

9) Movement (i played this song every day on repeat for 2 months when i was 17)

8) Arsonist’s Lullabye (wario of better love. don’t ask me how or why)

7) In a Week (feat. Karen Cowley) (the most gorgeous beautiful song of all time their voices are perfect for each other - I’D BE HOME WITH YOU)

6) First Light (BUT AFTER THIS IM NEVER GONNA BE THE SAME!!! AND I AM NEVER GOING BACK AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!)

5) Francesca (AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. URGAAAHHHHHHHH. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I’D TELL THEM PUT ME BACK IN IT!!!!!! DARLING I WOULD DO IT AGAIN!!!!!! IF I COULD HOLD YOU FOR A MINUTE!!!!! DARLING I’D GO THROUGH IT AGAIN!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)

4) Unknown / Nth (DO YOU KNOWWWWW I COULD BREAK BENEATH THE WEIGHT OF THE GOODNESS LOVE I STILL CARRY FOR YOU!!!! he had no right to sing this. and as beautifully as he does. makes me cry. sha-la-la)

3) Abstract (Psychopomp) (this wasn’t originally my favourite when i first listened to Unreal Unearth has grown on my heart and will not let go. did you know the memory hurts but does me no harm. and did you SEE HOW IT SHINESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

2) Take Me To Church (this being his debut single. DEBUT. SINGLE. no one else was doing it like him. the vocals the lyrics god the beautiful lyrics the MUSIC VIDEO!!!! ireland’s best living artist.)

1) Foreigner’s God (my favourite song of all time. no notes. utterly perfect in every way.)

[unpopularvivian]

My Ttte Designs (Toby):

Headcanons:

Shy, gentle, nervous but wise and extremely caring towards other. Is one of Sodor's oldest but finest engines.

He and Henrietta are married for 30 years while he and Edward are married for 10 years.

Disrespect one of his loved ones, especially if it's Henrietta, and he'll sent you to your grave.

Has a super close bond with the humans of Sodor and sees them as this one, big, loving family.

Even though he's prone to panic in certain situations, he has the patience of a god and is very good at handling emotional problems. His compassion and empathy makes him very popular with engines and Sudrians.

Loves jazz, romantic music and electro swing.

Is the Harold Hutchins to Gordon's George Beard and they're best friends because I said so. He acts like the heart of the duo while Gordon acts like the brains. These two will do anything from becoming wingmen for each other to trying to figure how to use the internet.

He doesn't have too many people that he hates but if you manage to be one of those people; Then congrats! You're officially one of the worst people to ever live on earth!

Bisexual and transgender (Ftm). Has top surgery and his scars are kinda faded. Scars are double incision and are curved. (I swear, if ya'll are ever drawing him shirtless and you incorrectly draw his top surgery scars, I am going to break into your house and break all of your limbs-)

Street-stupid as fuck and doesn't understand modern society that well.

Has PTSD, depression and separation anxiety. Extremely fast-moving water, great heights and loud sounds all give him shivers down to his spine because they're all part of events that he used to be in. Sometimes, he feels disconnected to the rest of the world and doesn't have any motivation to do anything. And about his separation anxiety? Try separating Henrietta from him and he'll be missing her instantly.

Loves to bake and cook food. Is a god at it. (Unlike Edward-)

Has 4 adopted children: Mavis, Percy, Phillip and Pluto.

I like to imagine that he used to have a stupid long ahoge that he unfortunately lost during his younger years. It hasn't grown back ever since. RIP random ahoge, we'll miss you. 😞

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair-"

(USING SHE/HER AND THE NAME "TABITHA" FOR THE NEXT FEW HEADCANONS. TW: MENTIONS OF DEADNAMING, TRANSPHOBIA, HOMOPHOBIA AND DEATH)

When Tabitha was first built, she was devilish, tomboyish daredevil who took over the quaint little world that she lived in by storm. She had two older brothers who she bonded quickly. Tom, who was the middle child and was fun-loving and Leonard, who was the oldest and acted as the voice of reason and discipline.

In her old tramway that was located nearby on a pretty little coastline, Tabitha met two tramway coaches named Henrietta and Hannah. She got along quite well with Hannah due to their chaotic personalities but butted heads with Henrietta because of her more reserved demeanor. (What Tabitha doesn't know that she's going to get married to Henrietta someday hehehoho)

However, Roger, a very bratty and absolutely shit tram engine bullied the two all lot. (Ya'll probably who I'm talking about) And not only was he spoiled and jerkish, he was also extremely transphobic and homophobic towards Tabitha, often calling her many slurs and derogatory nicknames. But the haughty steam tram would soon meet his end when he was crushed to death. What the others didn't know that things would be way worse....

During a cheerful and calm day, Tabitha was working with her two brothers as usual along with Henrietta. Out of nowhere, a large boom filled the air with terror and doom as an disheveled old man, wearing shattered goggles, was driving a gigantic tank as cannons were blasting everywhere, destroying trucks and houses. Leonard immediately took his then-sister's hand and started sprinting towards the other direction with Tom and Henrietta following in hot pursuit.

Bullets sliced through the smoky air as the screams of dying people and engines filled the atmosphere with dread and hopelessness and just as the crazy old man was about to shoot Tabitha, Tom suddenly went in front of her, surprising the lunatic and causing him to miss and have the bullet hit the ground instead. But, the bullet ended up ricocheting a piece of shrapnel straight towards Tom's face and pierced straight through his eye, killing him instantly.

And went the young tram thought that the worse has been over, a shriek of pain echoed through the sky as Henrietta dragged Tabitha to a safe place. Turns out that Leonard had acid poured on his face by the old driver for refusing to let him kill Tabitha.

The next day was the funeral for Tom and Leonard, the sky was a cloudy grey as rain poured onto the ground like bricks hitting pavement. Nobody make a sound except for the anguished cries of Tabitha for she just lost the people that she loved the most. Ever since, the poor tram hasn't been the same.

(TOBY, IN HIS AWKWARD TRANSITONAL PHASE)

Started using he/him and the name "Tobias" that Leonard give to him. Shortened it to "Toby" because he didn't like being called by his full name.

Wore awkward brown suspenders, a white buttoned up shirt and had shiny black loafers. (Man, he was really wearing the loser fit wasn't he) Later got a fuzzy homemade oak-colored sweater made by Henrietta for him as a gift when he worked on his own little tramway.

Easily scared, very jumpy, frightened and extremely shy toward others. Only communicated in whispers. (Not too unlike to his wimpy CGI persona!)

Was pretty neutral on liking flowers but ended up loving one of them, roses, after Henrietta put one on his head during one of their dates.

You thought that Edward was his bisexual awakening? Ha! Edward was only his bisexual REAWAKENING. His actual first bisexual awakening was when he met a fellow blue lorry whose name was Alec. Unlike the rest of the lorries and trucks that were assholes, Alec was mild-mannered and polite and had a pleasant conversation with Toby, who the latter caught feelings for him. However, because homophobia was at a dangerously high stake during that time, Toby had extreme feelings of internalized homophobia and avoided Alec when ever he could. (Poor him, it looks that Toby couldn't catch a break)

Toby and Henrietta literally got married when Toby tried to propose her but failed horribly, only to find out that Henrietta was also going to propose to him as well.

His bond between his driver and firewoman started to grow since the two were a couple themselves and would give relationship advice to Toby whenever he had trouble with Henrietta.

[cecenyss]

God I just feel so fucking angry.

I’m in a lot of fandoms, and every one, every single one, is sexist. Every piece of media I consume, every show, book, movie—it’s sexist.

I like some more than others—Fairy Tail gives all but one grown woman huge chests, and deliberately makes her insecure about it; Wendy and Chelia are a little weird as the 12-year-old girl trope in anime; Lucy almost always fights female antagonists—and I love those shows, I do. I adore them. I watch and rewatch and I love the stories, up until certain days when I just can’t take it.

I hate having to settle. I hate that, when I talk about Fairy Tail, it feels like I’m justifying the sexism with “oh, it’s not too bad.” I have to compare it. MHA is worse, obviously; fewer female characters, fewer female powerhouses. But with Fairy Tail I still have to settle.

There are many main powerful female characters, yes. But the male-female ratio is obvious. The Oracion Seis only has one woman, and she’s mostly there to parallel Lucy. Phantom Lord had only one woman. Grimoire Heart has only one woman and a teenage girl.

There’s only one female dragon slayer (not including Irene), and she’s twelve. I could go into her and Chelia’s and Mavis’ (and honestly Meldy’s) whole thing as the young, innocent girl tropes all over anime but I don’t want to-

Female powerhouses? Erza, Ultear (antagonist), Minerva (antagonist)…??? Juvia??? Cana? Mavis (dead)?

I wouldn’t count Sorano and Yukino in the powerhouse section. I might count Lucy, but given how much time she spends in the earlier seasons needing to be rescued it’s a little weak.

But male powerhouses? Natsu, Gray, Makarov, rock guy, Laxus, Jellal, Gajeel, Hades, Acnologia, Zeref, fire god guy, lightning god guy, memory guy, I really should’ve rewatched the show before making this post,

My point is—it’s an obvious gap. And yet I view fairy tail as one of the most gender balanced anime. It feels so much better.

A big part of that is their characters. Every female character is treated with the same dignity as the male characters. No matter how sexualized they may be, they are people. They each have backstories as deep as the men.

And I am so so angry that that’s a factor here. I want to be properly pissed about how they treat Lucy, I want to get mad at the unrealistically big boobs—but fairy tail is comparatively such a good show for gender equality.

I don’t know what the point to this was. I’m just upset.

[the-dragon-hearted]

Fairy Tail but they're all on bad reality cable shows

Some Reporter Guy: So, Mavis, how do you keep yourself looking so young? The ladies want to know -

Mavis: *smiling at the camera*

Acnologia: what kind of question is that? The ladies?? Young... What - whY would you -

Mavis: Well, first you have to commit a mortal sin against God.

*Question pops up on the board*

*Both Natsu and Gajeel slam their button*

Natsu: 43!!

Gajeel: THEY ASKED FOR A PRESIDENT -

Erza: Now when baking a cake. It is important to utilize the utmost care when stirring your batter.

Jellal: babe. Babe... babe you're killing the batter. BABE! BABE, I THINK YOU DID IT! E R Z A IT'S ON THE CEILING STOP STIRRING

Mira: And on today's episode of "Help, I have a stalker" we have long-time guest Gray Fullbuster. How's the situation been going, Gray?

Gray: Ima be honest, idk how I got here.

Mira: Oh?

Gray: Yeah, Juvia said to hop in the car and I kind of just went with it.

Mira: Juvia... your... stalker?

Gray: Oh yeah she moved in. She kept breaking my locks and it was getting annoying.

Makarov: And now, our largest jackpot yet, but who will win the prize?

Cana: It's obviously me, I'm going to buy so much booze once I'm out of here

Mira: ya know, I could use a bit of extra income, just to stay safe.

Lucy: TAKE THAT MONEY AND I'LL ACTUALLY KILL YOU I NEED TO PAY RENT -

*A new question appears*

*Natsu lunges for the button and slams it*

Natsu: "43!!"

Gajeel *slamming his head": oh my GOD STOP ANSWERING, THEY ASKED FOR A SONG TITLE - WE'RE GONNA LOSE

Happy: So... Gildarts. The tests are in

Gildarts: *Nervously sweating*

Happy: You...

Gildarts: *chewing his nails*

Happy: Are...

Gildarts: *hyperventilating*

Happy: Not. The Father.

Gildarts: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Jet: Hi there everyone, and welcome back to a new episode of "Are They Gay?"

Freed: *direct eye contact with camera* Yes. There we go. Show over.

Droy: No... unless it's Jet. Like I'd kiss Jet, but like in a bro way...

Laxus: *shoves camera away*

Macao: I love woman. I LOVE woman

Jet: *behind the camera* isn't Wakaba co-parenting with you?

Macao: And? A bro can't move in and help raise a kid anymore? Come on Jet, I thought you were more progressive then that -

Natsu: *pressing the button* the answer is 43!!

Gajeel: *leaning over his stand, actively restraining himself* If you press that button and say 43, one more damn time... I will break 43 of your bones - and then eat them.

Charle: And going to rank #3 on the list of People I Hate, we have Loke.

Loke: WHAT!?

Wendy: Charle, NO-

Charle: HE KNOWS WHAT HE DID

Like: I DON'T ACTUALLY -

Charle: YOU TOLD MY CHILD ABOUT ALL OF YOUR LITTLE ONE-NIGHT STANDS YOU LITTLE SHIT-

Wendy: Im not your child! I hatched you out of an egg!

Loke: *Insulted* Whoa whoa whoa, I didn't tell her ALL of them! And I left out all the important details!

Charle: I WILL MOVE YOU TO RANK 2 SO HELP ME-

Porlyusica: *At the judge's stand, reading glasses on, skimming through summaries*

Zeref: *Takes the stand*

Porlyusica: *slamming the gavel* Jail. She was hundreds of years younger than you

Lyon: *Takes the stand*

Porlyusica: *gavel slam* Jail. She is too young for you.

Bora: *Takes the stand*

Porlyusica: *gavel slams twice* Jail. And more Jail just in case that wasn't enough.

Mest: *Taking the stand nervously* "Hi... "

Porlyusica: *stares at the camera* I want this man executed immediately. And if you won't do it I will. Look at Wendy again, and I'll skin you alive.

Natsu: *slamming the button* 43!!

Gajeel: THAT'S IT! I'M KILLING HIM!! I DON'T CARE HOW MANY YEARS I SERVE-

Gameshow host: That is correct! 43 is indeed the answer and with that, you've won the jackpot!

Natsu: *grinning* See! I knew it was gonna work eventually

Gajeel: *rolling his sleeves up* Oh fuck no you're still dying -

Jellal: Erza, maybe we should take on a self defense show instead of a baking show -

Erza: Maybe you should go make a show with your fiance.

[barry-j-blupjeans]

1 from the lyric prompts with Angus if it inspires you!! He is baby…🥺

1. “I need you to promise me you won’t cry”

--

Merle had never seen Angus look so undignified. He had dirt all over his clothes from where Mookie had tackled him to the ground (several times), and his knees were scraped (not bad enough for Merle to need to heal them, thank Pan. He did not have the energy right now.). He was holding his little hat in his hands, politely keeping to himself on the ride back up to the moon base.

Or, well, he had been.

"You have very nice kids, Mr. Merle," Angus said.

"Ehhh," Merle said. "I can't really take credit for that. I've been, uhhh, in and out of their life. Y'know, with the adventuring and all..."

"Ah," Angus said. He looked down at his lap, sort of like a kicked puppy. It was a stark contrast to the great big grin that had been across his face before when he was playing with Mookie and Mavis. Or rather, when he was being chased down by Mookie and torn free from sticky hands by Mavis.

Merle nodded absently, looking anywhere else. Gods, this was uncomfortable. After another minute, Angus said,

"Sir?"

"Huh?"

"If it's not too rude to ask," Angus said, fiddling with the edges of his hat. "Why did you choose to go adventuring instead of- of, um, raising your kids?"

"Well, that is kinda rude to ask," Merle started and Angus's eyes went wide and he looked sort of flustered as he tried to backtrack. Merle continued with, "but we have the time so I might as well. I mean, like, there's not much to it. Y'know my, uh, wife? Ex-wife? My ex-wife and I didn't really, uh, get along real well. And I was kinda, sorta... well, I was a bit of an asshole, kid, if you can believe that."

Angus's eyes were still wide, but Merle assumed it was for different reasons.

"And I just figured," Merle said because watching Angus watch him was even more uncomfortable. "Well, uh, I just figured they'd be better off without me."

"Did they tell you that?" Angus asked, a bit more subdued.

"Well, no," Merle said. "But-"

"Then why did you-" Angus made a small, frustrated sound. His grip on his hat had grown tighter. "Then why did you leave? If they didn't even tell you to go?"

"That'd edging into some personal territory there, Ango."

"Sorry," Angus said, flushing.

"You're fine," Merle said. Another silence. Merle looked out the window to see the moon approaching. He cleared his throat. When he looked back over at Angus, his lower lip was trembling a little.

"Oh, geez," Merle said. Angus sniffled a little, wiping his eyes, and Merle unbuckled his seatbelt to shuffle over to him. "Don't- you don't gotta cry about it, Anges, it's not that bad-"

"I'm sorry, sir," Angus said, his voice trembling a little. Merle took the seat next to him and Angus diverted his eyes.

"Hey," Merle said. "It's no skin off my back if you can't handle my god-awful parenting skills." Angus huffed out a little laugh. Hell yes, score for Merle. "Listen, you don't gotta talk about it but are you... good? 'Cus I'm no emotional expert, but this seems a little out there for, uh, what I said."

"It's not you, sir," Angus said. "I'm- I need you to promise me you won't cry, too, if I tell you."

"That seems like a bit of an unfair promise to make at this point," Merle said, but Angus shook his head.

"Please," he said.

"Alright, alright, I won't cry," Merle said. "Cross my heart and hope to die or whatever."

"I don't want you to die!" Angus said, welling up with tears again.

"It's an expression!" Merle said. "It's an expression, geez. I'm not gonna die." He paused. "Probably."

"Probably," Angus said, wiping away a few more tears. "Uhm, okay. So, uhm. You know my grandpa, right, sir?"

"I've heard of him, yeah," Merle said.

"Well, uhm, he wasn't supposed to be the one taking care of me originally," Angus said. "Or, kinda at all? I- I don't really know my parents, 'cus they gave me away when I was a baby."

"Oh," Merle said.

"And I spent a lot of time, uhm, hoping! That they would come back and that it would have been a- a mistake, or something? Like sometimes kids got picked back up by family members or they'd find new families that were even better! But I- I just really wanted my parents, I think. And, uhm. I figured, since I didn't grow up with them, they had just died."

"Right."

"But, uhm," Angus blinked away a few more tears. "When I was seven and I was working for the militia-"

"At seven?"

"Yes," Angus said. "That part isn't important. The important part is that I had access to a lot of express documents that I hadn't had access to before so I, uhm, I looked them up? My parents, I mean. And I found them! It didn't take too long, even."

"But...?" Merle prompted. Angus sighed.

"But, they- they, uhm. When I went to where they were, and I knocked, and I had a whole speech ready- they... didn't know who I was." Angus swallowed, looking solidly at his lap. "It took them a few minutes to remember they had even had a kid in the first place and then they argued about if I had been a boy or if they had had a girl and- well, they seemed pretty surprised to see me!

But they- they didn't even want me to stay. They didn't ask me if I wanted to stay or anything. They kinda just... brought me back outside and shut the door. And I, uhm, I kinda sort of... gave up, after that, on having a family. And my grandpa- well, he isn't technically my grandpa, blood wise, but he's one of the older supervisors I had who ended up taking me in. And it was fine with him but I didn't- I mean, it wasn't the same. Because I knew that- that no matter what I did, my parents wouldn't want me."

"That's..." Merle had to blink away a few tears himself, trying to keep his promise. "Yikes, kid."

The sphere glided into the hanger of the moon base, stopping with a jerk.

"I guess I just- I don't think you're a shitty parent, Mr. Merle," Angus said. "Because at least you're trying. And- and that's more than I got. You know that Mavis and Mookie love you and you show it a little weirdly but you so obviously love them and I just- It was just a lot, all of a sudden." Angus buried his face in his hands, shaking slightly. "I'm sorry, sir-"

The front door latch hissed open.

"Hey," Merle said. "You don't gotta be sorry for that, Angus. It's not your fault."

"I just wasn't planning on dumping all of that on you," Angus said.

"Ehhh," Merle said. "Life is full of surprises. Trust me, this ain't the worst confession I've gotten outta someone. One time-" Merle lowered his voice conspiratorially, "Magnus told me that he ate a deep-fried sock. You can't recover from hearing about this in full detail, bud. You just can't."

Angus made a disgusted face through his giggle. Score two for Merle. He was rackin' them up today.

"How about you go get yourself some ice cream at the cafeteria," Merle said, patting his back. He stood up as Angus unbuckled. "And I'll meet 'cha back there with some ice cream cones."

"Why- why are you just bringing the cones?" Angus said. "Do you not have ice cream?"

"I like the cones better," Merle said, leaving before he was asked to elaborate.

[saltyfilmmajor]

the fool: do you have any nicknames?

the emperor: what are some names that you like?

the devil: do you enjoy thunderstorms?

the tower: favorite colors to wear?

It’s my friend!!! 🥰 Mavy !!!!!

The fool: do you have any nicknames?

Hmmm not any that I go by now, although at the last church I congregated at they used to call me Google. (Because it was a bit of a know it all 😂)

I suppose the way my family shorten my middle name is a nick name but no one else here gets to know what it is 😂 (I love tumblr but I don’t want to blast my second name on here I’m very weird about it )

The Emperor: What are some names that you like?

I like the name Adela a lot, the last time I thought about having kids that was the name I imagined giving my hypothetical daughter. Evidentially I learned afterwards that my great grandmothers name was Adela.

I also like my name a lot, Nancy, but it’s super common in the Hispanic community so I know way too many Nancy’s

Also a big fan of Matthew for some reason (I swear to god not mission related)

The devil: do you enjoy thunderstorms?

Oh yes I do!!! Especially in the fall when it becomes hurricane season for us in the northeast, big cozy weather I love it a lot. Sometimes I’ll even sit out on the porch with a drink and vibe to music.

The tower: favorite colors to wear?

Pink pink pink, it’s my favorite color 😭. I’ve also been told that blue really suits me so I have some in my wardrobe 🥰

[fabianvalencia561]

*When D10 heard the news about Jerry being an corrupt he was quick to anger and confusion.*

Diesel: Hey dad I need to ask you something - *he stopped before he could say anything more. He knows that D10 wasn't happy* ..... Dad? You ok?...... Dad?....

D10: *he nods slowly but his face and voice says otherwise* .... I'm fine.... I just need some air... *He quickly walks out of his room.*

*Diesel already knew that D10 was not happy one bit, he watched his dad rush outside.*

D10: *he was pissed off, he tried to keep himself calm by breathing but the more he tried the more angry he got. Then he snapped and screamed loudly in frustration and anger. He felt betrayed by Jerry at this very moment.* THAT FUCKING TRAITOR! HE WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR MOST OF THOSE CASES!! HE MURDER MOST OF THOSE PEOPLE!!!! HE TRICKED ME AND EVERYONE ELSE!!! GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!!!!

*D10 was so angry and betrayed that he couldn't control his own self. His power grew as his anger grew more.*

D10: *He screams loudly in anger.*

*Even though he used his powers for a bit it was enough to make the ground shake violently*

Diesel: !!!!!!!- DAD STOP PLEASE YOU'RE HURTING YOURSELF AND YOU'RE GOING TO HURT US IF YOU DON'T STOP THIS!!! *He ran fast to his dad and grabbed him by the arm. He called out for his dad to make him pay attention to him and to calm down.* ..... Dad please calm down..... Please..... Please.... Just calmed down.....

D10: *he looked at Diesel and his eyes widen he saw the calm down a bit but before he fully could he heard something click in his head and then his body went all weak it was almost paralyzed then d10 knew that this was not good blood started to drip out from his mouth, nose, eyes, neck, and also where where his horrible injury was on his face. He was in a lot of pain his breathing was harsh and heavy he sounded like if someone's lungs were filling up with their own blood.* H-Help,......

Diesel: !!!!!- DAD!

James: *He quickly runs out to see what happened and he was in shock* WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!!?!

Atharva: *He quickly walks over when he too heard all of this* What is going on - *gasp!!* ...... *He took one good look at d10 and he already knew what was up.* .......

D10: *he looked at everyone and then fainted.*

.....

*a few hours later*

D10: *he slowly wakes up and realizes that he is no longer outside in fact he was in the diesel works his body was in less pain he looked around as the room was empty it was only him and some equipment to fix broken humanoids.* What happened? ..... Why am I here?

Mavis: You're awake! I was so worried about you old man....

D10: Mavis? Is that you?

Mavis: Of course it is! I'm surprised you even remember me...

D10: what happened?

Mavis: You somehow put so much pressure in your brain that it ripped open from the inside! ....... but luckily I was able to put it all back together.. and also you were very lucky that the injury was small....

D10: .... Oh God..... *He felt the back of his head where he could feel where they fixed his head and patched it up.*

Mavis: Do you even remember how you added so much pressure to your brain? *She asked quietly* ......

D10: I don't know..... Every time I try to remember my head goes blank........

Mavis: yikes it must be that bad .... Hmm .

*Then the two hear Atharva and Proteus talking to the others.*

Atharva: YOU GUYS KNEW THAT D10 HAS THIS POWER!? YOU KNEW THAT HE WAS A MAGIC HUMANOID?!

Proteus: *he whispered a bit* aren't diesels not supposed to be magic humanoids?...

Diesel: NO ONLY I KNEW! NOT THE OTHERS!! I WAS AWARE THAT MY DAD HAD POWERS EVER SINCE I WAS LITTLE!!

Atharva: DO YOU REALIZED THAT DIESELS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE MAGIC HUMANOID ABILITIES!?!? I HAVE TO GET RID OF THEM NOW!!!

Proteus: *gasp!!!* NO WE ARE NOT DOING THAT! ARE YOU CRAZY!?! YOU'LL MAKE HIM WEAK! HE'LL MOST LIKELY DIE!!

Diesel: WE ARE NOT GOING TO TAKE MY DAD'S POWERS AWAY!

Atharva: YES I AM!!

*Everyone was arguing loudly while James kept on trying to talk and then he got frustrated that no one was listening to him*

James: EVERYONE SHUT UP NOW!!! *He whistles loudly that a glass window cracked a bit*

*Everyone went quite fast. They all look at James.*

James: *he breathed heavily and then sighs* ..... We are not going to remove anything from anyone ya hear? ....

Atharva: But diesel's are not supposed to have this power!

James: I DON'T GIVE A DAMN! WE ARE NOT GOING TO TAKE HIS POWERS AWAY!!.... *he sighs heavily* Besides didn't you listen? Proteus said that D10 would become weak if you do.... And if you do take his powers... He might as well be dead... So we are not going to take his powers if it's only keeping him alive and well....

Proteus: and...... And maybe we could teach him how to fully control his powers?

Atharva: ...... *Sigh* fine..... Fine.....

D10: ...... *His eyes widen* ...... What's going on you guys? ... *He walks out of the room to them*

Diesel: DAD! *He runs up to his dad*

Atharva: *he was stunned* How.... How is he still... alive?...... *He thought to himself*

*Everyone else was glad that D10 was..... ok.... Though Atharva was confused.... He knew that D10 was alive and well but..... These incidents normally caused the humanoid to be dead ..... Maybe it was the necklace that kept him safe?.... Who even knows...*

Diesel: Dad! Do you remember what happened? .... I heard that your brain was ripped up from the.... Inside.... Can you remember anything?

D10: Yeah.... But I...... I don't remember.... How this happened.... What happened?

Diesel: ..... We'll.... We'll tell you later.... But now... You should go back and get some rest.....

D10: ..... I .. *sigh* .... Yeah ... I guess you're right.... I guess I should......

[squid-princess-teach-swallow]

Excuse Me, This Is My Room

Series: None, this is a one-shot.

Book and Settings: Dracula: A Love Story AU

Pairing: DaLS MC Mavis Burnell × Leo Nolan

Summary: After a long tiring plane ride, Mavis just wants to go to her hotel room and get some rest. But things don't go as planned.....

A/N: This fic is an alternate meet-cute between MC and Leo, completely inspired by this wonderful edit by @robintora and the convo that ensued further with my fellow swallows in the rc server - thanks sm y'all! This also happens to be my first RC fic, so I hope y'all like it 💖✨

You can also read this fic on AO3 here.

Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Your Story Interactive. I'm just borrowing them for the story.

Mavis hauled along her luggage as she climbed the stairs. Of course, of all the times the elevator could malfunction, it had to be today, she thought to herself, annoyed. The plane ride was too long for someone like Mavis, who hated staying still for extended periods of time. She heaved a sigh of relief when she finally reached the 7th floor. She dragged her luggage behind her, searching for room 722.

"Ah, there it is!" Mavis exclaimed as she found her room but in her excitement, she dropped her room key. She picked it up, opened the door, and entered the room.

Finally! She dropped her bags near the door and was about to crash on the bed when she realised how sweaty she was. Nope, shower first, nap later. She went towards the bathroom and just as she was about to pull the doorknob, the door swung open.

Mavis jumped back in surprise. A naked guy walked out of the bathroom. Well, almost naked; he had a towel wrapped around his waist. She studied him from head to toe. Fiery red hair, bright green eyes, sharp nose, full lips. Her breath hitched as her gaze settled on his broad shoulders and toned torso, which was dusted with freckles. Damn, he really works out, huh? Just as her eyes wandered lower, she heard a "A-hem". She looked up to see the guy grinning at her with an amused smile. "My eyes are up here, you know."

Mavis reddened. Wow, did I really ogle at a guy I just met? A guy who broke into my room, nonetheless. She shook her head and levelled a glare at him, "What the hell are you doing in my room, mister?"

He looked at her incredulously. "Excuse me? That's my line. What are you doing in my room?"

"Your room? This is my room! This is room number 722, isn't it?"

He shot her a smug look. "Actually, this is room 721. You've got the wrong room."

Mavis sighed exasperatedly. "You've got to be kidding me. I saw the number plate on the door before I entered, and it cleared said 722."

"Really? Maybe you should get your eyes checked. I've been staying in this room for a few days now, and it's definitely not room 722."

Mavis was getting annoyed now. She pulled the guy along with her until they reached the door, and she pointed out to the number plate on the door. "See, this is room-" Her words trailed off as she saw the number '721' printed clearly on the plate. She dropped his hand and sighed defeatedly. You're such a humongous idiot, Mavis! She reddened. Turning to face the guy, she smiled sheepishly and said, "I'm so sorry, mr, uh,"

"Leo. Leo Nolan."

"Oh. I'm sorry, Leo. I should've been more careful. I must have mixed up the rooms when I dropped the keys."

Leo scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Speaking of which, how did your keys open my room?"

"Oh, I didn't think of that! Maybe the keys are similar."

She walked to her actual room, and inserted the key, but the door didn't budge. "What the hell?" She muttered as she tried to unlock the door.

"Let me. '' Leo took the key from her and tried his hand but the door didn't open at all.

"Oh god, I totally cannot climb down seven floors once more with all this luggage!" She said as she cursed herself internally for being such a heavy packer.

"What about the elevator?" Leo suggested.

"It doesn't work!"

"What about the one on the other side of the floor?"

"There's another one?"

"...yeah?"

"Of course there is, ugh." She sighed exasperatedly and started dragging her suitcase in the direction of the other elevator.

"Wait a minute, I'll come along too!"

Mavis spun around and looked at him suspiciously. "Why do you have to come?"

"Uhhh, because your key somehow is able to open my room? I don't want anyone breaking and entering, you know."

"Fine then. Come along."

Leo smirked. "Do you expect me to come down like this?" He gestured to his naked chest.

Mavis bit her lip and tried not to let her eyes wander. "Ugh, go change quickly. I don't have all day."

Leo disappeared back into his room and came out a few minutes later, wearing a white t-shirt, green jacket and dark pants. "Okay, let's go." He looked down at her suitcase. "That looks really heavy! Do you want any help with that?"

Mavis wasn't sure if he was planning to run off with her stuff or if he was being genuine. "Uh, no thanks, I can do it myself."

"You look very tired. Let me help. I promise I won't run away with it," He said, like he can read her mind.

Mavis looked at him sheepishly. "Okay. Thank you." She handed the suitcase to him and they walked towards the elevator and reached the reception.

Mavis caught the receptionist's attention. "Excuse me?"

"Yes ma'am, how can I help you?"

"The keys which you gave me don't open my room, but they work on the neighbouring room. I think you've given me the wrong keys."

The receptionist searched on the keys board for a while before pulling out a different set of keys and offering them to Mavis. "I'm so sorry, ma'am, I mixed up the keys. I gave you the other room's spare key by accident."

Mavis gave the receptionist a look. "That's what happens when you're too busy chatting away on the phone while you're dealing with a customer."

The receptionist looked down. "I'm sorry ma'am, it won't happen again."

Mavis' expression softened a bit. "It's okay, just be more attentive next time," she said before walking off. She turned to Leo and dangling her keys in front of him, she gave him a smirk. "Now you won't have to worry about me breaking into your room."

Leo smirked back at her. "Well, I'm glad that's sorted out." They got into the elevator and reached their rooms but neither of them were eager to go inside.

Mavis spoke up. "I know we got off on the wrong foot, but it's been nice talking to you, Leo."

Leo gave her a crooked grin. "I wish I could say the same, but I don't even know your name."

Mavis giggled. "I guess that's fair. I'm Mavis Burnell." She held out her hand. "Pleasure to meet you, Leo."

Leo smiled and shook her hand. His hand was rough and callous, but warm and comforting at the same time. "Pleasure is all mine, Mavis. You have a pretty name."

Mavis blushed. "Thank you."

Both of them kept looking at each other but then they heard a piercing "Meow!" from Leo's room.

They both snapped out of it.

"Uhhh, what was that sound?"

Leo sighed ruefully and shook his head, still smiling. "That would be Nosferatu, my cat. I guess he's hungry."

"Oh! Then I won't keep you. I guess I'll see you around?" She said hesitantly.

"I hope so. See you around."

They reluctantly entered their respective rooms, but they couldn't get the other out of their mind.