#bc kevin is just. part of the goal at this point and not a person

[animmal]

getting a handle on mavis is kinda 😵‍💫 bc on the one hand she's an empath (literally) and is shown to generally have more emotional intelligence/maturity than dr🅰️x/nebs/rocket combined, but at the same time she apparently saw no problem at all whatsoever w kidnapping kevin 🥓 for peter 😭 which is like???? i mean maybe those two things can be true at the same time but like... How. 😭 is she an empath or is she okay w taking people against their will to give as a present to her brother ?

[harry-hollands]

who does it better?

alex turcotte x f!hockey player smau

for all my alex turcotte lovers 🫶🏼: @hischierhaze @babydollmarauders

*PICTURES FOUND ON PINTEREST AND INSTAGRAM*

authors notes: reader is born in 2003 (2 years younger than alex, same year as luke hughes), takes place in 2025

*the girls in the pictures are not a depiction of you; they are merely placeholders bc my goal is to have you imagine yourself 🫶🏼*

WARNINGS: hate on an unspecified national team (you can imagine whatever country that team is from except team canada LOL), team canada (both men and women) wins bronze, soft and hard launches, language, relationships

part 2 (can be read as a standalone)

yourusername

liked by badgerwhockey, yourbsf, and 3,876 others

yourusername: off to a strong start 🫡

tagged yourbsf, kevinfiala22, badgerwhockey, lakings

view comments

mattboldy: why?

yourusername: @/mattboldy why what?

mattboldy: @/yourusername the last pic???

yourusername: @/mattboldy i’m a die hard kings fan and kevin fiala is my spirit animal

mattboldy: @/yourusername you need therapy

yourusername: @/mattboldy im my own therapist 🫶🏼

badgerwhockey: our favorite goalie

liked by yourusername

yourbsf: my teletubby !!! (affectionate) 🥹🫶🏼

yourusername: @/yourbsf my walking shin destroyer (derogatory)🥹🫶🏼

fan1: aint no way yn was referred to as a teletubby 😭

fan2: @/fan1 they’re so unserious i love them

fan15: kings fan confirmed??

yourusername: @/fan15 this is old news, why do you think my number is 32?

edwards.73: i stand by my statement that you’d look better in maize and blue

yourusername: @/edwards.73 you’re biased. and wrong. definitely wrong.

edwards.73: @/yourusername but you’d see me more often !

yourusername: @/edwards.73 all the more reason to stay! hope this helps 🫶🏼

markestapa: @/edwards.73 HAH

lhughes_06: eddy is wrong. red is definitely your color

yourusername: @/lhughes_06 you’re just biased because you wear red.

lhughes_06: @/yourusername no comment

yourusername: @/lhughes_06 i also distinctly remember you calling me every night practically begging me to transfer because and i quote, “wisco doesn’t need you, we do!”

lhughes_06: @/yourusername nuh uh!

yourusername: @/lhughes_06 you’re a fucking child

dylanduke25: goalie, noun; In ice hockey, the goaltender is the player responsible for preventing the hockey puck from entering their team's net, thus preventing the opposing team from scoring. The goaltender mostly plays in or near the area in front of the net called the goal crease.

yourusername: @/dylanduke25 pest, noun; an annoying person or thing; a nuisance. (affectionate)

dylanduke25: @/yourusername ☹️

yourusername: @/dylanduke25 AFFECTIONATE ITS AFFECTIONATE PLEASE DONT CRY

dylanduke25: @/yourusername 🤭

yourusername: @/dylanduke25 bitch. (AFFECTIONATE)

trevorzegras: red is definitely your color, just the wrong school

yourusername: @/trevorzegras oh im sorry i thought a college dropout said something to me

trevorzegras: @/_alexturcotte @/yourusername are all of you wisco students mean or just you two?

_alexturcotte: @/trevorzegras @/yourusername we’re nice! just not to you!

yourusername: @/trevorzegras @/_alexturcotte hope this helps college dropout 🫶🏼

trevorzegras: @/yourusername @/_alexturcotte ALEX IS A COLLEGE DROPOUT! WE SPENT THE SAME AMOUNT OF TIME IN COLLEGE

yourusername: @/trevorzegras @/_alexturcotte and i like him better than you

trevorzegras: @/yourusername 🤨

_alexturcotte: hey we have a lot in common i think we’d get along great!

colecaufield: @/_alexturcotte stop the madness

yourusername: @/colecaufield @/_alexturcotte nono let the man speak!

_alexturcotte: @/colecaufield @/yourusername yeah let the man speak!

colecaufield: @/yourusername @/_alexturcotte 🤠

_alexturcotte: @/yourusername well, we both attended wisco, you’re a kings fan, which hey what a coincidence, im a kings player, and i know kevin fiala and can introduce you two!

yourusername: @/_alexturcotte interesting points, i’ll get back to you in a few business days

yourusername

liked by _alexturcotte, colecaufield and 4,917 others

yourusername: national champs and b1g 10 champs baby ! im so unbelievably proud of these girls and everything we’ve accomplished. not only are we back to back b1g 10 champs but we played our hearts out and got the national title too!

thank you wisco for being my home for four years, and thank you to this team who’ve made me the player and person i’ve always strived to be.

to the gophers, you played an outstanding game and im proud of the hard fought game you guys gave me.

next time i see you girls, we’ll be competing for worlds and some of us will be separated but that doesn’t mean it’s the end. LA and worlds, here i come 🫶🏼

tagged badgerwhockey, gopherwhockey, b1ghockey

view comments

yourbsf: i cant believe you’re graduating 😭

yourusername: @/yourbsf i cant either 🥺

yourbsf: @/yourusername i also can’t believe *they* convinced you to move back to california 🤨

yourusername: @/yourbsf what can i say? the offer was enticing 🫡

fan32: i’m violently ill. i can’t believe it’s been 4 years already, and she’s leaving 😭

fan15: AHHHH CONGRATULATIONS!!!

_alexturcotte: im so unbelievably proud of you and everything you’ve accomplished. glad to see that my negotiation skills payed off :)

yourusername: @/_alexturcotte it was an easy decision, i get my favorite canadians as roommates! best deal ever! @/jordanjs224 @/francesco.pinelli71 @/quintonbyfield @/brandtclarke55

yourusername: @/_alexturcotte but also, thank yous 🥹🫶🏼

_alexturcotte: @/yourusername i should’ve seen that one coming. but also, you’re welcome <3

jordanjs224: @/yourusername @/_alexturcotte ROOMIES

francesco.pinelli71: @/yourusername @/_alexturcotte ROOMIES

quintonbyfield: @/yourusername @/_alexturcotte ROOMIES

brandtclarke55: @/yourusername @/_alexturcotte ROOMIES

colecaufield: CONGRATULATIONS! BADGER NATION UNITE! THAT’S MY FAVORITE GOALIE RIGHT THERE! 🫶🏼

slknight35: @/colecaufield excuse me? 🤨

colecaufield: @/sknight35 uhh…gotta run!

yourusername: @/colecaufield THANK YOU! THAT’S MY FAVORITE FUNSIZED FORWARD <33

slknight35: @/yourusername @/colecaufield HAH! you’re my new favorite person

colecaufield: @/yourusername @/slknight35 i don’t like this 🤠

yourusername: @/colecaufield tough shit cockfield

badgerwhockey: unbelievably proud of you! thank you for four amazing years and helping us get back to back b1g 10 champs and back to back national titles. we’ll miss you endlessly ❤️

yourusername: @/badgerwhockey admin 🥹🫶🏼

lhughes_06: THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND!!

markestapa: @/lhughes_06 *OUR

edwards.73: @/lhughes_06 @/markestapa ^^

dylanduke25: @/lhughes_06 @/markestapa ^^

luca.fantilli: @/lhughes_06 @/markestapa ^^

adamfantilli: @/lhughes_06 @/markestapa ^^

yourusername: @/lhughes_06 @/markestapa i think im crying harder then i have ever cried in my life 🥹

erikportillo: 🤩

liked by yourusername

trevorzegras: 🫡

yourusername: @/trevorzegras a man of many words, the enemy of silence people

jackhughes: you’re way out of his league

fan38: @/jackhughes jack??? what do you mean???

_quinnhughes: @/jackhughes the only thing we can agree on

_alexturcotte: @/jackhughes @/_quinnhughes to be fair i don’t think anyone is on her level.

fan39: @/_alexturcotte ALEX???

yourusername: @/jackhughes no im just out of your league

_quinnhughes: @/yourusername welcome to the family you’re my new favorite hughes!

lhughes_06: @/_quinnhughes @/yourusername i would be offended but honestly? real. she’s already mom’s favorite. she said that her and dad were booking flights to watch her at worlds

kevinfiala22: congrats 🎉❤️

yourusername: @/kevinfiala22 oh.

_alexturcotte

liked by yourusername, quintonbyfield and 20,277 others

_alexturcotte: two teams, two world titles, two gold medals, one nation, and my girl

tagged usahockey, trevorzegras, arthurkaliyev34

view comments

fan32: the way alex included the women’s team too 😭

fan15: did not see alex soft launching his relationship on my bingo card for this year

trevorzegras: mr. game winner

_alexturcotte: @/trevorzegras mr. tournament point leader

jackhughes: @/trevorzegras @/_alexturcotte i’m mr. goal leader

_alexturcotte: @/jackhughes this ain’t about you

jackhughes: @/_alexturcotte BETRAYAL. BETRAYAL EVERYWHERE.

_alexturcotte: @/jackhughes i still love you babe 🫶🏼

usahockey: history. made.

liked by _alexturcotte, jackhughes, trevorzegras, colecaufield, yourusername, _quinnhughes, lhughes_06, and arthurkaliyev34

fan38: highlight of the men’s tournament is when the announcers practically had an aneurysm with jack, quinn, and luke on the ice 😭

fan39: @/fan38 my highlight was watching the guys get excited watching the gold medal game for the women. luke and alex (and a good chunk of the canadian men) looked like children in a candy shop watching yn make saves

colecaufield: WOAH WOAH WOAH (first proud of us) WHO THE FUCK?

yourusername: @/colecaufield language cockfield!

colecaufield: @/yourusername sorry i mean WHOMST THE FUCK?

yourusername: @/colecaufield yeah, okay.

_alexturcotte: @/colecaufield proud of us too!

colecaufield: @/_alexturcotte NO NO NO WHO IS THAT IN THE LAST PICTURE ???

_alexturcotte: @/colecaufield yes.

yourusername: we did that <3

_alexturcotte: @/yourusername we did, and im proud of us beyond comprehension <3

francesco.pinelli71: @/yourusername @/_alexturcotte whats going on here ? 🤨

quintonbyfield: @/francesco.pinelli71 @/_alexturcotte @/yourusername young love 🥺

francesco.pinelli71: @/quintonbyfield that’s crazy 💀

brandtclarke55: thank god you you both kicked *their* asses

jordanjs224: @/brandtclarke55 me and my homies hate *them*

yourusername: @/brandtclarke55 @/jordanjs224 i aim to please 🫡

lakings: 🥇 👑 🏒 🥅

liked by arthurkaliyev34, _alexturcotte, quintonbyfield, francesco.pinelli71, jordanjs224, and brandtclarke55

fan5: history was made for both team canada and team usa. both men and women for canada won bronze while both men and women for the united states won gold. im going to sob oh my god 😭

fan32: @/fan5 i’ve been crying since the conclusion of the men’s tournaments 🥹

usahockey

liked by yourusername, _alexturcotte and 153,839 others

usahockey: In honor of our men and women making history by both winning gold at the World Championships this past weekend, we highlight two players of the tournament, goaltender Y/N Y/LN, and center Alex Turcotte. The two of them both attended the University of Wisconsin and played for their respective hockey teams.

Y/N Y/LN spent four years with the Wisconsin Badgers and helped lead the women’s team to 3 consecutive B1G 10 Championship Titles (2023, 2024, and 2025), and 3 consecutive NCAA Championship Titles (2023, 2024, and 2025).

In the tournament, Y/LN had a .937 save percentage, and a 1.42 GAA, which propelled the U.S to a gold medal and a world title.

Alex Turcotte only spent one year with the Wisconsin Badgers and had 9 goals and 17 assists for 26 points in 29 games played.

Turcotte turned pro in 2020, and unfortunately dealt with a few setbacks with illness and injury before having a breakout year in the 2023-2024 NHL season. He is now a core member of the LA Kings alongside roommates, Francesco Pinelli, Quinton Byfield, Jordan Spence, and Brandt Clarke, all of whom also participated in the World Championships and won the Bronze medal for Team Canada.

Now comes the debate we all have been waiting for:

Who did it better? Y/N Y/LN or Alex Turcotte? Let us know down below.

tagged yourusername, _alexturcotte, badgermhockey, badgerwhockey

view comments

fan32: Y/N is the only correct answer. if you think anything else, that’s your opinion, but your opinion is wrong

fan15: im a huge turcs lover but Y/N absolutely did it better. she could literally wear a trash bag and she’d still look like a bombshell.

liked by _alexturcotte

fan15: TURCS???

yourbsf: Y/N 100%. she’s my wife and this is my biased opinion coming from a 100% certified turcs hater.

yourusername: @/yourbsf i love you 😭🫶🏼

trevorzegras: Y/N. it’s not even a competition. HAVE YOU SEEN HER???

_quinnhughes: @/trevorzegras the only time i’ll ever agree with you

jamie.drysdale: @/_quinnhughes real.

trevorzegras: @/_quinnhughes i expected this from you. but @/jamie.drysdale FUCKING OFFENDED???

colecaufield: as much as i love alex it’s Y/N 100% 😭

liked by yourusername and _alexturcotte

lhughes_06: Y/N. no fucking competition.

edwards.73: @/lhughes_06 on behalf of everyone i think we can all agree that it’s Y/N no debate.

markestapa: @/lhughes_06 @/edwards.73 FR

yourusername: @/markestapa @/edwards.73 @/lhughes_06 my favorite and forever hype men 🥹

jackhughes: alex, buddy, you’re a stud, but i’d be fucking lying if i said that you do it better

yourusername:@/jackhughes ew you’re making me feel emotions 🥹

_alexturcotte: @/jackhughes @/yourusername please ignore her she does in fact feel emotions like a normal person

jackhughes: @/yourusername good. ❤️

francesco.pinelli71: on behalf of the roommates (oh my god and we were roommates) at our household meeting, we all came to the unanimous conclusion that my best friend, Y/N, does in fact, do it better.

quintonbyfield: @/francesco.pinelli71 as a witness to this household meeting, i can in fact, attest to this statement

jordanjs224: @/francesco.pinelli71 even if alex is my boyfriend, i, in good conscience, cannot state that alex did it better. Y/N does and continues to do it better.

brandtclarke55: @/francesco.pinelli71 no one can do it better than Y/N

_alexturcotte: can confirm, Y/N does it better

fan15: @/_alexturcotte WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

fan38: @/_alexturcotte ARE YOU SAYING WHAT I THINK YOU’RE SAYING

yourusername: @/_alexturcotte thank you <33

fan32: @/yourusername @/_alexturcotte WHAT IS HAPPENING

yourusername

liked by _alexturcotte, yourbsf, and 39,015 others

yourusername:

“i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)

i am never without it

(anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done

by only me is your doing, my darling)” - E.E Cummings

in conclusion, i do it better.

tagged _alexturcotte

comments have been restricted

_alexturcotte: my love <33

liked by yourusername

yourbsf: yeah. okay. im fine 🥹

liked by yourusername

yourbsf: please take care of my girl 🥹

_alexturcotte: @/yourbsf always and forever

yourbsf: @/alexturcotte oh.

francesco.pinelli71: my roommates (my best friend and her boyfriend) 🫶🏼

liked by yourusername, _alexturcotte, quintonbyfield, jordanjs224, brandtclarke55, and lakings

quintonbyfield: my boyfriend and his girlfriend 🥹❤️

yourusername: @/quintonbyfield my boyfriend’s second boyfriend 🫶🏼

quintonbyfield: @/yourusername IM HIS SECOND BOYFRIEND??? @/_alexturcotte explain yourself right now.

_alexturcotte: @/quintonbyfield listen, i got seduced by @/jordanjs224 im sorry you found out this way

jordanjs224: @/_alexturcotte @/quintonbyfield is it me? am i the drama?

jordanjs224: homewreckers stick together 🫶🏼

yourusername: @/jordanjs224 we’re about to be the biggest headache for our boyfriend and roommates 🫶🏼

_alexturcotte: @/yourusername @/jordanjs224 i don’t like this.

jordanjs224: @/yourusername perfect.

_alexturcotte: @/jordanjs224 @/yourusername I REALLY DON’T LIKE THIS

brandtclarke55: MY PARENTS !

yourusername: @/brandtclarke55 MY SON !

_alexturcotte: @/brandtclarke55 @/yourusername that’s not our son

brandtclarke55: @/_alexturcotte @/yourusername ☹️

yourusername: @/brandtclarke55 don’t listen to your father he’s delusional

brandtclarke55: @/yourusername okay mom !

_alexturcotte: @/yourusername 🥲

colecaufield: NO WAY. AM I DREAMING??? IS THIS REAL LIFE?! OH MY GOD. IT’S HAPPENING! IT’S HAPPENED!

yourusername: @/colecaufield IT’S REAL LIFE, BUT COCKFIELD BABY, YOU NEED TO BREATHE BEFORE YOU HYPERVENTILATE

colecaufield: @/yourusername AHHHHHH (my best friend found someone who makes him happy and it happens to be my new best friend 😭🫶🏼)

liked by yourusername, _alexturcotte, lhughes_06, jackhughes, trevorzegras, and _quinnhughes

elblue6: ❤️

liked by _alexturcotte, yourusername, and lhughes_06

lhughes_06: i would kill for yn so tread carefully. i have a full college hockey team willing to do anything for her so consider that before doing anything. i don’t care if you are my billet brother and lived with me for a couple of years.

_alexturcotte: @lhughes_06 🤠🫡

_alexturcotte: i love you my sweet girl. now and forever.

yourusername: @/_alexturcotte i love you too, my love. forever and evers <33

_alexturcotte

liked by yourusername, jordanjs224 and 28,189 others

_alexturcotte:

“You’re where I stand, hearing the sea, crazy for the shore,

seeing the moon ache and fret for the earth.

When morning comes,

the sun, ardent, covers the trees in gold,

you walk towards me,

out of the season, out of the light love reasons.”

- Carol Ann Duffy

she definitely does it better :)

tagged yourusername

comments have been restricted

yourusername: my beautiful boy, thank you for taking a chance on me, and loving me for a little over a year. i know starting a relationship long-distance isn’t ever ideal, but we made it work and because of it we grew stronger. you are my present, and my future, and i can’t wait to see where life takes us, hopefully, together, side by side. i love you to the moon and to saturn <33

_alexturcotte: @/yourusername my beautiful girl, thank you for being there for me when i felt like i was alone. i wasn’t expecting to find someone as ethereal as you, but the universe always finds a way to shine a light when everything is pitch black. you helped me heal mentally through the frustrating setbacks at the start of my NHL career, and for that i have no words to express the gratitude i have for your abundant amounts of patience. you are my future, and i will be content anywhere as long as you are by my side. i love you to the moon and to saturn ❤️

~

a/n: thank you so much for reading !! feedback and reblogs are always appreciated! all my love !!!

-soph <33

[bearenjoyers]

sorry im just thinking about bcs but like. why not add a few smaller scenes of gus interacting with his own men? why does it seem like, in comparison, mike is almost immediately elevated to a higher status than those two in bcs purely because we actually get to see him having normal conversations with gus? like i understand they might not keep the plot moving as well because of the fact obviously if victor is currently doing something it’s because gus told him to etc. but for the most part all of the smaller interactions gus does have with those two ends up being in a somewhat high stress situation where it feels very tense between everyone. and it’s just like damn! is it always like that?? why do those two even care that much about their jobs if their boss is a bit of a dick? etc. i think even an additional scene or two with those guys (either alone or the both of them) talking with gus in a more normal situation could’ve both added a bit more depth into how gus treats his employees (we got a lot with how he treats lyle and co., but not a whole lot with the illegal side of things), how comfortable vic and tyrus feel around him in a calmer setting, and exactly why they both feel the need to be as loyal as they are to the guy.

and also on the other side of this i don't think it'd hurt to maybe elaborate on their pay just a bit..? i'm not saying to randomly put a number out into the atmosphere but i just mean some smaller things like. do they buy nicer things for themselves? what's their housing situation? what's their car situation? are the escalade / yukon their own vehicles or does gus just use those two for business situations? do they use them when they're doing their own stuff off the clock or do they have their own cars? etc. that can also help with understanding their motivations a bit. don't get me wrong i don't think they should be visibly rich or something because that's not what gus would want but just smaller things! cause it's easy to write their loyalty off as Well they probably get paid super well, which i'm sure is true, but if they don't show a single hint of that then what's the point. even something as simple as giving tyrus a nice watch, or maybe victor having a nicer looking gun, etc. something small like that. because as it stands right now the average 41 year old viewer who watched the show once only knows and will only ever know victor and tyrus as those two guys in the background who do random stuff for gus with no clear motivation. just the personification of "On it boss (salute emoji)". and to be honest this is true for a whole lot of fans who do watch the show multiple times and enjoy thinking about it more in depth, because on screen we barely have anything about the two.

and to be clear i'm not trying to say we should have an episode just for them or something like no i understand they're side characters. i understand we don't need all that. and i understand this is also primarily Jimmy's show. but it's not like these two are on the same level as like, arlo or paige and kevin etc. these guys have been around since brba. victor was literally introduced in the same episode gus was. and they are a huge part of gus's story, especially in brba. s4 wouldn't have been what it was without victor and tyrus. and in bcs, ignacio's situation wouldn't have been the same if it weren't for victor and tyrus as well. and i just personally believe that if their goal with gus in bcs was to go back and elaborate on how everything came to be and show what he was like a few years younger, they could've dragged victor and tyrus into that. and i think his character would've benefited from taking that extra step with those two.

[eliotquillon]

jean :)

BITING AND KILLING RN

one aspect about them i love

the fact that he got thrown down the stairs 4 times LOL. jk. this is very meta but something i find really cool about jean is the way his suicides in the previous drafts are almost treated as canon suicide attempts and how it shapes his subsequent characterisation. like very genuinely i think knowing that the published version of aftg is the Only one where jean gets his happy ending makes the happy ending in question sooo much more impactful and i think it’s why i love him so much. like he did Not have plot armour but despite everything, things worked out for him anyway. god i fucking love jean

one aspect i wish more people understood about them

HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH KEVIN. i think the thing with kevin and jean is that they were both victims of riko but they both knew that kevin leaving would result in jean suffering more, and ofc kevin had a right to leave his abuser, but i also think jean has a right to be resentful about it. i think part of why kevin and jean’s relationship can’t ever fully heal is because neither of them ever knew each other before riko’s abuse and therefore neither of them can really picture a “healthy” version of each other so like if your only concept of a person is while they’re mid trauma response, that is ofc gonna paint a skewed picture. they were both caught in the cycle of abuse of being victim and later perpetrator and i think it’s kind of reductive to act like riko not being there will undo the hurt that jean and kevin actually did to each other. whew that was an essay. basically i just wish more people understood that jean and kevin can probably never be friends and their friendship only existed bc of their mutual victimhood so like as adults it isn’t natural or healthy for them to revert back to that

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character

i 100% think jean is losing his french because of the nest and he ends up doing french classes at USC to “catch up” because he starts to realise how many things he’s forgetting. i also think he never bothers to a) become a US citizen, or b) qualify for an olympic team because, unlike kevin or neil, exy is genuinely just a career for him and in the end i think his life’s goal isn’t an olympic medal but instead finding a life and hobbies OUTSIDE of exy now that he’s finally allowed

one character i love seeing them interact with

KEVIN. sorry it kind of fucking shows but i’m so obsessed with how fucked up their dynamic is it’s so so so sad and vitriolic and both of them are right to be hurt and it just sucks!! it’s a mutual tragedy!! and i for one cannot look away! the tension between them at the banquets when they realise they’ve gone from being on the same team to being enemies….ohohoho. and what i wouldn’t do to eavesdrop on the convo they had after jean left the nest

one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more

JEREMY KNOX BITCH #JEREJEAN. we deserved a usc novella in general with jean getting to live his best life but ESPECIALLY with jeremy. fanfic isn’t enough anymore. the detail in the extra content about jeremy teaching jean how to play pool and jean somehow being better than him at it is genuinely my favourite thing ever and i want to see more fun slice of life “jean getting a normal college experience” stuff

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character

mmm i think at some point there was definitely something More Than Platonic between kevin and jean and this was partially weaponised against them by riko, thus making the fallout of their friendship even more toxic. just a vibe i get. on a happier note i like to think that jean tries to teach jeremy french but realises that he’s actually a terrible teacher and when he taught kevin kevin had been doing a lot of the heavy lifting LMAO. i also think that while he never becomes friends with kevin again, things do lighten between them slightly after they both graduate and between riko’s death and jeremy they’re able to stay on mutually decent terms + attend each other’s weddings

[alyjojo]

Love Reading 🫀- August 2023 - Aquarius

Singles:

Overall energy: 7 Wands

How you will meet: The Moon

How they will treat you: Queen of Wands

Long-term Potential: The Devil

Oracle: Visualize Whirled Peas 🫛

You got this person dickmatized 🤤 and they’re going to follow you to the grave it feels like, this person has lost their dang mind being obsessed 😈 over you. Your messages show you don’t want the same things, but when it comes to the bedroom, clearly you do. This is like an intense love/hate kind of connection, like you want to throw their shit out into the street, can’t stand your ass!!, and when they chop down your fkn door with an AXE…ok that’s kinda hot, and you go have sex. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 OMGGGG that’s what I got in my head, I’m dying laughing over here. It’s always Aquarius.

You don’t trust them, you don’t think they have what it takes to be someone serious enough for you, I get a “stay in your lane fkboy” energy from you, and it pisses them off! 😡 And makes them want it that much more tbh, tell them no. You may have told this person to fk off several times and they love it, or something. Aries? 😆 I don’t know at which point this gets to be creepy, because it’s you and y’all love this shit. Or them. They will absolutely make the first move, they will always flirt, and they will wait FOREVER 👀 for another chance no matter what. You could tell them goodbye, and they will respond with “NO”. To the point of an unhealthy obsession - The Devil, with waiting, and 4 Pentacles, not letting go…ever. They are not going anywhere, gonna be dragging their asses into your next life at this rate. What did you do? I have a song for this one 😆

I had to get further clarification bc it’s like you’re ending this, but you do come up as a divine pair, love, a lot of passion, and I can’t see the deeper issues here, what’s the problem with a “little” crazy? 👀

The Star - The High Priestess - 5 Pentacles, it’s you 💯 Deep down you know this isn’t right. Probably for the best. Sounds like a good time, hopefully they can spackle all of the holes in your walls, or rebuild the bed frame idk, I sense some broken furniture. Someone definitely has some fire here, and maybe some intense Lilith aspects🔥

Messages -

Their side:

- Don’t underestimate my potential.

- Forever Love ❤️

- Facial Hair 🧔‍♂️

Your side:

- P0rnstar ⭐️

- We don’t want the same things.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Leo, Capricorn, Aries & Pisces

Couples:

Overall energy: 7 Cups

Current: 7 Pentacles

Challenge: The Magician

How they feel about you: 5 Swords rev

How you feel about them: Page of Swords

Outcome: Queen of Swords & Ace of Pentacles

There is some 3rd party person causing issues in your relationship, but I get that it’s family. Siblings are highlighted, could also involve a baby mama/daddy or children, or parents. You’re taking opposite stances on the situation, probably because your person is kinder or more accepting of these things, and you have Shadow Self in your messages…probably being like “not my problem”. Because money is involved somehow, and you aren’t coming up as rich either, just smart…maybe a little bit judgy of how others do things vs. how you would. Something like that.

Either relating to this or separately, there is something going on with you both that is confusion 😵‍💫, and you’re waiting on answers relating to this. Could be regarding children, news about this person’s situation, good news relating to work, etc. 4 Cups has you both feeling out of sorts and pissy because you haven’t heard anything, and your challenge is getting to work on creating what you’re trying to create, because something isn’t working, isn’t available, it’s too expensive, there’s some part of this desire or goal you’re having to abandon, and you’re not happy about it. A family member could be inconveniencing you financially, and your person is apologizing for this situation you’re both involved in. In this moment they’re being very sweet and loving, a good friend to someone else that’s in need. You’re probably irritated about that.

Your feelings are good though, there’s a lot of communication and loving action between you, even having different perspectives you’re still aiming for the same goal. You come up as the Swords pair, a logical & intelligent couple focused on the big picture and everyone being on the same page. The Lovers with The Star show you as soulmates and a divinely guided connection, it’s a beautiful energy. This bump in the road is just a bump, you may gain another perspective through this experience, or other people (be careful with that), and they are likely to gain money or some kind of great opportunity from now through next month sometime. There will be another chance to create whatever doesn’t work out this month, and it looks like a dream come true ⭐️

Messages -

Their side:

- I won’t leave my family for you.

- Sibling Drama

Your side:

- Shadow Self 😈

- New Perspective

Oracles - Seeking Cosmic Consciousness

Their side: Depression comes from being trapped. Spring the trap and change your life.

Your side: Regret over what you have done is useless and blocks your spirituality.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Aquarius, Gemini, Cancer, Taurus & Pisces

[newhologram]

The past week has been wild. I finally know and I’m like, “how has it been seven whole years??” When I booked this job I was only about 2 years into my career and like 1.5 years into my new normal of disability. I remember the audition, just one of the average of 2-4 a week. I remember getting lost in Hollywood and calling my agent to tell her I couldn’t find the studio. And all these years later, I’m a completely different person. I don’t audition or work as much bc my level of disability is higher (not that I CAN'T, but I'm more selective about projects). I’m fully out of the closet and finally comfortable with myself in almost every way (most of the time). Now I’ve got all these years of experience, hopeful auditions, rejection, broken promises, bad days on set, fabulous days. I had to move on and keep going, keep pushing when my goals and dreams changed with each new experience. I had to let it go, as much as I always wondered about this job. To finally know at this point in my life feels very fateful. My followers and friends have always been supportive for all my small roles and I’m so grateful. It was always so encouraging to get messages saying they saw my new commercial or music video, or they spotted me in the background of a TV show. For the first time, I’m part of something bigger that has reached more people. Even if all I did was make silly faces for the cameras and recite Petra’s lines a few times, I’m so humbled to be part of something that apparently means so much to people. Thank you. I promise to keep fighting for my dreams. (Bottom left photo by Ryan Kevin, hair and makeup by Erika Furuhashi)

[shoesofthefishermanswife]

harley rant

i think one of the main reasons harley's current ongoing is so disappointing to me, (besides the lack of genuine humor), is that i can't quite call it out of character? like, yes, she is known to attach herself to one cause and get lost in it. it started in childhood with her gymnastics, then her doctorates, then jo.ker, ect. especially since her life is a mess and her main support systems have left her behind. she could absolutely throw herself into hero-ing. but there's no examination of that as part of her cycle. it's treating it like an unambiguous forward step. additionally, she doesn't struggle with it the right way?

more importantly- nothing has any emotional weight. she's alone! and that should shake her up much more than it does. (sorry kevin, you do not count, and are a topic for another rant).

there's an issue of hq2000 (#20 i believe?) where she has to face her own personal hell (and et.rigan?). it's a weird arc, and largely forgettable, but there are a couple of key moments from it that i find myself coming back to. she gets stuck in this groundhog-day-esque scenario where she has to fail to save her gang and winds up alone. time after time, no matter how aware of the pattern she becomes. and it tears her apart.

harley quinn (2000), #20, page 11 [I.D. A screenshot of a comic panel. Harley Quinn is kneeling, head in hands, saying, "...all alone...". She is wearing her jester costume. A couple flaming embers on the ground beside her illuminate her. END I.D.]

harley quinn (2000), #20, page 14 [I.D. A screenshot of 5 comic panels with black backgrounds. In the first panel, Harley Quinn stands in her jester costume and says "Whatever your game, Etrigan-- I can play it. And I play to win!" Her arms are crossed and she is sticking her tongue out. In the second panel, she bends over to kneeling and says, "I don't mind bein' alone-- it's time with my favorite person! You hear me? A little introspection's a good thing." In the third panel, the camera zooms out and she's fully collapsed onto the ground. She says, "Good thing." In the fourth panel, it's zoomed out even further to the point where no details remain, and she says, "Good for the soul." The fifth panel is completely black. END I.D.]

and i go crazy because where is this kind of stuff in her current series? they have moments where they try to touch on it, but it falls so flat. her stuff should be funny! but it needs to have serious moments for the humor to contrast with.

ALSO! the art for these panels makes a huge difference in how impactful they are. but her current art lacks balance or feeling depending on who's working on it. either way it fails to elevate the writing in any way.

at this point, harley is pretty connected to the ongoing events of the dc universe. but her emotional state is so far removed from any larger context.

she literally just DIED??!?? (or almost died?) and they brought her back like 4 pages later. which they absolutely just did because they can. like what was the point of that? could they not have used the tools already at their disposal to reach whatever narrative goal they were trying to achieve. and could they not have taken an issue or two to give it some weight? like harley's death needs to be heartbreaking as a reader bc someone should care and hardly anyone will. where's the examination of that?

this is a series that could be something! it has a lot of the right pieces. but for whatever reason, they can't figure out how to assemble them in the right way. the balance is so off. i know what we could have and it makes me want to stop dc headquarters and keep them hostage until they fix it.

[deus-ex-knoxina]

I had a fever dream where Dan and Andrew were adoptive siblings and now that’s all I want to read about

[image ID: an anon ask reading ‘(for the record was using fever dream as a hyperbole I’m ok)’ /end image ID]

first of all i’m glad you’re ok!

second of all oh my god. ohhhhhhhhh my god. this is so BRILLIANT

dan and andrew are so similar but like... so different at the same time? like they both have their People who they stick with, and they’re very >:( about anyone hurting Their People (andrew’s obvious, but like remember when dan got super pissed at kevin because of the whole wymack-is-kevin’s-dad thing?)

more on that note, dan cares more about her own wellbeing (when she slammed that one raven guy in the crotch i gained three years on my lifespan--at least i think that’s what happened i haven’t read the books in a hot moment but she used her shoes right? god. badass) than andrew does and my guess is that it’s HARD EARNED.

there is so much more under the cut i rlly love this idea

as adoptive siblings, i think they’d take a long time to warm up to each other. i feel like they’d both have this instinct to like, ally and cling to each other (since we know that’s a thing they both do at psu) but fight it because they’ve also learned to Not trust other people.

andrew doesn’t have the protective twin reason to pack bond w dan that he does with aaron, and pretty much everyone else in the series has to fight for andrew to actually care about them.

dan, on the other hand, is also probably pretty self-sufficient at this time and maybe not super enthused by the concept of having other people who she might need to take care of/take responsibility for. so like why would she bond with this younger boy who’s made it very clear he doesn’t need or want anyone

at the same time, though, they don’t really clash. they’re just content to leave each other alone and i think that would eventually translate into this sense of ‘they do their thing and i do mine, and we’ve been set in this pattern for long enough that i pretty much trust this is how it’s gonna be and they’re not going to do a 180 and hurt me, we just leave each other in peace’

and i think they would stay in that pattern forever, if not for some Moment™ that would make both of their protective instincts pop out (probably like, of another person, not of each other), and then they’d look at each other like >.> we’re not so different you and i........

side note wouldn’t a superhero au crime fighting vigilante duo of dan and andrew be so cool like that’s the vibe i get from them

anyway i think if dan and andrew met earlier in life they’d get each other more. by the time that they’re both at psu their experiences have diverged a LOT, and they also get somewhat different treatment at psu.

oh wow now i’m thinking about how dan would change the dynamic of the cousins right after tilda’s death? like obviously she wouldn’t like luther and maria and i think that when nicky turns up she’d clock that his relationship with his parents is total shit. i feel like dan and andrew and aaron would all like, appreciate nicky turning up, and i can’t decide if dan at this point would be better at verbalizing it than andrew and aaron or not

she’d be a couple years ahead of them in school though so she’d probably be like, ABOUT to leave for college and be glad andrew has people with him

okay. now IN college. for the sake of simplicity i’m gonna assume pretty much everything else goes the same, so they’re all at psu and andrew, nicky, and aaron turn up when dan’s a junior.

dan doesn’t know nicky and aaron very well since like, she’s been at college and nicky especially has been busy working in the brief periods of time she’s been home over breaks (and aaron’s not that sociable), but she knows andrew’s decided to keep them so that means they’re hers by proxy too.

that combined with renee and andrew doing the exact same thing of >.> we’re not so different you and i means that andrew, at least, is pretty locked in with the upperclassmen and that means he’s dragging aaron and nicky with him. (and since dan knows andrew already she can confer with wymack on like, how to deal with him, basically, since we know wymack bargains with andrew to get him to Do Shit)

i do think andrew would still take renee and matt to eden’s (not dan he already vetted her) but he’d be more open w dan about the reason for taking matt. i don’t think she’d be happy at all with how he decided to address it but she’d understand his reasoning.

and i think andrew decides that if his group is going to be with the upperclassmen, he’s going to have to do something about seth and his habit of being loudly homophobic

when kevin arrives, the foxes aren’t a *team* the way the trojans or even the ravens are, but they know how to exist in the same space with a minimum of violence, and most of them are all set to close ranks against this annoying newcomer who keeps insulting them (until andrew adopts him and is like no you all have to tolerate him now)

andrew and dan definitely argue like siblings and they argue a LOT about neil when he arrives, because they both clock all his lying but andrew deems him a threat and dan deems him a victim (and they’re both right. so like)

neil doesn’t really have to fix the team but he does still plunge himself into fixing andrew and aaron’s relationship. i feel like even though andrew has a less dysfunctional sibling-y relationship w dan that wouldn’t affect him making a deal with aaron because his relationship w dan is fundamentally different--they both came to it from a place of not needing help and that places it a little more in the same category as andrew’s relationship with nicky. bc andrew always makes deals with people he feels he needs to take care of/protect. so dan doesn’t have a deal but aaron does.

however it does mean neil’s job is a little easier because dan knew andrew before the whole tilda thing so he talks to her a lot

i also feel like dan would be emboldened to like... engage more w andrew in the context of sports so after they win a game she always runs over to the goal (or the bench or abby’s office wherever andrew happens to be) and is like celebrate with us and andrew’s like :| and dan’s like fuck you celebrate with us you’re an essential part of the team, and that usually works

and i think that despite both of them knowing the other one doesn’t need *protection*, what are they gonna do, just not protect people? they’re dan and andrew it’s what they do. not only do they recognize each other’s lowest points, they CARE.

and it’s not just low points! they also both recognize how the other is healing/growing at psu and are quietly glad. i don’t think they’d be like, vocal about it, but they both know, and that’s what counts.

[prosopopeya]

Fic Writer Questions

from @clarrisani !!!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

on ao3 i have 28. tbf though i never transferred over a bunch of my stuff from lj back in the day.

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

176,571

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

11 listed on ao3. shout out though to house, which i wrote a bunch for but it never made it to ao3, and likely never will, and also to sherlock holmes which i wrote some fic for but more significantly, spend 2 years roleplaying. also if we want to get real nostalgic, the hits from my ffn days included such fandoms as lizzie mcguire, buffy, star trek voyager, monk, and of course, labyrinth.

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Inevitable Homoeroticism in Spanish Romantic Heroes: my dean is a hispanist, grad school au. written bc at the time i was reading so many college aus and going you know what. you know what this fandom needs. and also i need therapy and instead i will write this fic.

i’m so glad it was and still is well received, and until this year’s dcbb, i thought i’d never write something as personally significant as this ever again. i’m happy to be adding something else to that list shortly (and hope it’s as well liked!).

as a sidenote, this fic was requested by and heavily cheerleaded by a friend of mine who has since passed away, and i will always think of jaymee when i think of this fic.

Like Real People Do: my impulse-written, kneejerk reaction to cas’s confession in 15x18. i wanted cas to have a chance to process his feelings separate from dean and also i wanted to push back on the notion that he was happy just saying it bc maybe after all he wants dean to love him back. it’s fitting that it comes after the grad school au in this list bc it was my return to fandom. also a rare example of me writing cas pov. (soon to not be so rare.)

Flying in Circles Inside a Jar: a s5 era fic where dean and cas get together in a roundabout way. god this was written so long ago and there are parts of it i want to change, but overall i’m still proud of a lot of moments in this fic. some good dialogue in here.

Command Me to Be Well: my angstier entry into my s15 fix-its. dean decides that he will let him and cas have sex but they can’t have feelings about it. this got way more popular than i thought it would, and it took me forever to write it, but it was definitely proof to me that i could come back to writing bc i had to edit this fic a bunch, and i was always horrible at editing. but i have better meds now yay!

fourth place is technically the codas to the grad school au, which also have some good moments but also the last coda i wrote makes me cry when i think about it still. but bc it’s part of the same universe i’m going to add:

Some Boys are Sleeping Alone: another early days fic ft. dean coming to terms with his sexuality and how it was affected by his father among other things throughout his life. this has essentially become the backbone to my conception of dean’s sexuality in canon. it ends sad! plot twist for me these days.

what i love about this list, looking at it now, is that it’s a healthy mix of my old stuff and my new stuff, and overall represents well my themes of dean’s bisexual journey and several examples of cas standing up for himself, though s4/s5 cas was just like that.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i didn’t back in the day so much bc, you know, grad school, i was busy. i’ve been trying to since i got back into writing but have been staring at my inbox of things i need to reply to for like three months. i will do it at some point!

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

god i don’t know. i wrote so much angstier stuff back in the day. i don’t really want to re-peruse all the random stuff on my ao3 but here’s one that sticks out to me even still: the au that has quinn fabray from glee in a sham marriage with jason mcconnell from bare: a pop opera and no one is happy. no one asked for this fic but i had many feelings about it.

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

these days most of my fics end happy, but the one that still has me tear up at the end is the fluff entry i wrote for dean’s birthday: through autumn’s advancing. it’s jody that always gets me. jody hugging and murmuring a goodbye to dean, and then dean watching as she hugs and whispers something to cas. i don’t know what she’s saying but her embracing cas just gets me every time.

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

oh boy. back in the day, i would write just about anything anyone asked of me, and i prided myself on selling the wildest concepts imaginable. my lj contains a multitude of shames, but on ao3 probably the wildest is supernatural/my little pony: friendship is magic. here’s another example of me writing cas as he bonds with fluttershy.

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

i don’t... think so?

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

boy do i! uh the naked kind?? idk my approach to sex scenes is to try to capture realism but in the emotional sense. usually there’s a fun amount of dialogue. some amount of significance beyond just the act itself. i think my big thing is still representing the characters as themselves, in character.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i’m aware of.

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

i don’t think so?!

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

this dcbb is essentially being like executive produced by @marbleflan. but there may be a more explicitly co-written fic coming up. :) :) :)

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

dean/cas, hands down. nothing will ever compare to the absolute insanity of the way they happened in this television show.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

i started a dean/benny/cas purgatory fic that i want to get back to one day... also my fic with ghost!kevin teaming up with human blood!crowley and human!cas.

16) What are your writing strengths?

i’d like to think it’s capturing the feel of the character and staying ic. that’s my #1 goal always and the best comment i could ever receive. i like my dialogue too.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

plot. i can’t plot to save my life. also editing. also inventing any original character is an absolute blindspot of mine.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

well i mean. i have. done that. my bilingual experience involves some weaving in and out of a language in conversation, usually mid-sentence or once you hit a word you either can’t think of in one language or feels better in another. or filler words/phrases like well, or let’s go.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

gosh. probably lizzie mcguire.

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

the grad school au will always hold a special place in my heart. but i also really love this one i wrote that was a love letter to the virginia state fair, which i went to like every year when i was a kid and still hold a lot of nostalgia and love for in my heart. i really want to retool that one. there are some things i want to change about it, you know, almost ten years later.

@ anyone who wants to do this thing!!!!!!!

[uncloseted]

what do you think about "political correctness" in tv shows? i think it kinda stifles representation ironically bc im a minority but whenever i watch a show displaying my culture i feel like theyre whitewashing the reality out of fear of offending ppl :/

I feel like I should start here by saying that I’m not a huge fan of “political correctness” as a movement in general.  I am (of course) all for people improving themselves, learning how to interact with people who are different than them in a respectful and empathetic way, and supporting minority communities, but oftentimes I feel like “political correctness” leads to a culture where saying the right thing is more important than doing the right thing, and where people are shamed for imperfectly trying to learn.  I would much rather see someone screw up while trying to understand than someone parroting other people’s views without understanding what those viewpoints mean and why they’re important. You guys know that I am all for authentic self-improvement, figuring out what you truly believe, and then fighting for it. I think that’s what we should be striving for instead of saying things we think our culture wants to hear.

Moving to your actual question, the thing about representation in TV is that TV isn’t real life.  What I mean by that is that every choice you make when you’re writing a TV show is within your control, and every choice you make when you’re writing a TV show contributes in some small way to the way our culture views of different groups of people.  The more you see a point of view represented in media, whether that’s about race, gender, sexuality, or even silly things like what a college party looks like, the more you internalize, consciously or not, those points of view and expect them to be true.  You show up at your first college party and expect there to be red solo cups, because they’re in every college party scene ever.  And the red solo cups are there, because the people throwing the party knew you were going to expect them.  And so I do think that writers do have an obligation to be aware of the consequences of how they’re depicting the world, because there are consequences.

For example, I’m part of the LGBT+ community.  For a long time, our representation in media was limited to villains (because of the Hayes Code- if you’re curious, check out Jessica Kellgren-Fozard’s video on the subject here).  Later, as the world got more “progressive”, our representation in media became “promiscuous, unfaithful people that die at the end of the movie”.  While it’s true that some LGBT+ people are villains, or slutty, or die a tragic death (and are even more likely to die a tragic death than straight people, given the AIDS epidemic and increased rates of death by suicide among LGBT+ people), when you write a character for whom that’s true, you’re perpetuating those stereotypes. You’re contributing, in a small way, to the perception that LGBT+ people are deviant and untrustworthy, or are people that don’t deserve happy endings.  

Skins series 7 is a great example of this.  Skins in a lot of ways handled its LGBT+ characters well.  It allowed them to be full people outside of their sexuality, while not shying away from exploring their sexualities or the unique difficulties that come with being a sexual minority.  Naomi and Emily even got a happy ending in series 4, which was huge for WLW viewers at the time, because they so rarely saw themselves reflected in characters who get to be happy.  But then the writers killed off Naomi in series 7, and that really hurt, because it felt like a reiteration that LGBT+ characters will always be miserable and die at the end.

It’s really important for people to see themselves reflected on TV, because it’s really important for people to see that there are options for themselves. If you never see LGBT people who are allowed to be in happy, loving relationships, or women who are scientists/astronauts/engineers, or whatever it might be, it’s hard to imagine that those things are a possibility for yourself.  

It’s also important for people who aren’t minorities to see minorities represented in all different ways in media.  When LGBT+ people started being represented on TV (not to harp on the LGBT+ thing, but since it’s my community and part of my cultural history, I feel like it’s something I can speak about...) there was a huge upswing in acceptance because people realized that LGBT+ people aren’t really all that different to them.  They realized that LGBT+ people are just people who frequently do boring, people things.  That was a huge step towards straight people tolerating the LGBT+ community.  Now that being LGBT+ has become more acceptable, we’re starting to see media that celebrates our cultural differences instead of trying to highlight how “normal” we are.  

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy vs. Netflix’s Queer Eye is a great example of that.  In the original Queer Eye, it was very much about, “we’re just like you”.  In Netflix’s Queer Eye, JVN can be shown on TV as his fabulous, high-heeled, skirt wearing, gender non-conforming self, I think because we’re at a place culturally where we now understand that many LGBT+ people are “just people”.  We live in a world now where LGBT+ representation includes everything from Brooklyn 99′s Raymond (the boss of the precinct) and his husband Kevin, a very straight-edge, “normal” interracial gay couple, to Brooklyn 99′s bisexual Rosa Diaz, who’s fearless and tough, to the cast of Queer Eye to Naomily to Choni from Riverdale to Mitch and Cam from Modern Family to Titus Andromedon from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmitt to Jules from Euphoria.  But if your only LGBT character in the whole show is a promiscuous villain who dies (or if the only character in your show that dies is LGBT+, or the only promiscuous character is LGBT+, or everyone gets a happy ending except for your LGBT+ character), to me it feels like in a small way, you’re driving progress backwards by introducing that depiction of LGBT+ people back into the world when we’re not quite clear of that reputation yet.  Regardless of how well the story is done, the number of LGBT+ stories that end in tragedy is substantially higher than the number of LGBT+ stories that get a happy ending, so writing a tragedy is picking at a cultural wound that hasn’t quite scarred over yet.

Finally, I think when it comes to how you represent minority characters, the question of “what is the point your media is trying to make” becomes important.  If your goal is to include minority characters because you want to improve representation, that’s different than if you’re including minority characters to make that minority more understood/accepted by culture at large, which is different than if you’re a minority yourself and you want to speak to the issues your community faces, and all of those are different to when minorities are included for the sake of appearing “inclusive” or “woke”, without a lot of thought going into how best to contribute to the conversation.  All of those require different approaches and different ways of writing the characters.

The bottom line is, I absolutely think you’re right. There’s a lot of minority representation on TV that erases cultural factors of the minority experience in favor of being palatable/above reproach.  Unless that’s being done with the intentional goal of making a minority group seem “just like the majority” to improve acceptance, it’s a misguided approach at best and harmful at worst.  

I think the solution is just to include more minorities in the writer’s room.  One of the reasons the characters in Skins and Euphoria feel like they have such real, accurate portrayals of what it’s like to be a person who’s part of a minority (whether that’s in terms of physical or mental health, sexuality, gender, race, etc.) is because they included people who are part of those minorities in the writing of those characters.  Jules’ story is shaped by Hunter Schafer’s own experiences.  Rue’s struggle with drug addiction is informed by showrunner Sam Levinson’s struggle with drug addiction.  By having people in the writer’s room who live that experience and can say “this is what it’s really like”, it’s harder to fall back on stereotypes or erase indicators of culture.

[cheddar-the-dog]

b99 podcast episode 2:

relationship goals

@jake-and-ames and I have summarized what we think are the highlights of the second episode of the brooklyn nine-nine podcast. maybe those of you who can’t listen to the podcast for whatever reason can profit from it a bit

it’s under the cut because it’s quite long

[[MORE]]

Part 1 with David Phillips, Tony Nahar, Dirk Blocker, Joel McKinnon Miller

a season that’s focussed on Ensemble rather than singular performances

not filmed on stage usually but practical locations (rooms with walls)

3 cameras and their crews —> “single camera” style but multiple cameras that open opportunities to cross-shoot scenes

MEJ plays in the B99 softball team

they have 35 background actors of which 90% were there since s1

Scully and Hitchcock almost never have full storylines and often have punchlines or chime in (requires timing)

S7 spoilers around minute 14 but I blanked out tbh

Episode 12 of Season 2 The Beach House is a very significant episode for the cast and crew

Beach House Cold Open is where Holt spilled soup on his pants and Andy only needed one take for him to go into Holt’s office and spill soup on his own pants

Whole episode was originally Boyle story and his divorce but they went ensemble because it didn’t work

the Amy-Drink-Scale and 6-Drink-Amy (aka Gina’s Sasquatch) is elaborated throughout the episode (not revealed though if there is a 7-Drink-Amy)

Boyle’s borderline creepy lines are discussed around Minute 25

they spent 2 days shooting on location in Malibu and some of the cast stayed overnight and got to know each other more (Andy, Joel, Joe, Melissa and Chelsea and her then boyfriend now husband Jordan Peele)

it was so far away that on the first day when their call time was 7 AM they started shooting at 10:30 AM and it was hot but they had to pretend it’s winter

“Scully is a quintessential rennesaince man” - Joel McKinnon Miller

The bubbles in the hot tub were silent

there were lots of alts and the cast and crew just had fun and tried making each other break and corpse the scene - especially Andre

they intentionally made Holt apologize as an example of how a boss can behave vs how he would be expected to behave (Jake apologizing to him)

Part 2: Stephanie Beatriz, Laura McCreary, Luke Del Tredici

relationships (friendships, romantic relationships, bromances and Rosas coming out)

Steph doesn’t get recognized on the streets because of voice and mannerisms

in the beginning it was more focused on the Rosa/Charles relationship than Jake/Amy because Jake needed a lot of character work before they could think about getting them together/ him more fitting to Amy

Jake/Amy: pacing but also they don’t know how long they have, there’s no opportunity to really plan years ahead - if they would’ve know how long they have they would’ve held back longer with the romance but they knew from the beginning that they’re endgame

they try to avoid making Amy only “the wife”

“RIP Cheddar Number 3” - Laura McCreary

Rosa/Charles: they had Charles pining over Rosa in the pilot and according to Luke you repeat a lot of storylines in the beginning of a series because you’re trying to figure out who these characters are but as the show grew older so did the writers and eventually they realized it felt very inappropriate to not take no for an answer (Luke describes it as a “mistake” to not resolve it sooner)

Steph felt like it was inappropriate early on but didn’t have the courage to go to the writers and tell them how she felt because she was scared of losing her job and she didn’t know how things worked in that particular workplace bc she originally is a theatre actress

Charles and Rosa remain friends though and their relationship grows stronger. So much so that Rosa comes out to him first which Steph loved a lot

MEJ is still waiting for the vow renewal of Holt and Kevin (he pitched another idea during that episode)

Boyle/Peralta: McCreary said that because Jake can’t really mess up at his job because of stakes and he’s not perfect they made him mess up a lot with Charles’ friendship (also the ladies but mainly Charles)

Rosa had a good amount of relationships

“She’s trying. I don’t know if she’s living it but she’s trying.” - Steph

Rosa/Adrian: very opposite characters and she described Jason abd Pimento respectively as loose canons. Mantzoukas also taught Steph how to relax more in scenes (she’s praising his improv skills a lot as well as “he’s like a thorough bred dressage horse but kinda like crazy” - Stephanie Beatriz)

Rosa/Marcus: first on screen relationship that the writers used to get a Rosa/Holt dynamic going

Steph played Rosa queer from the beginning (she built on talking about Tonya Harding being hot for example)

the coming out episode: Steph was involved in creating the 99th episode and the coming out of her character a lot - she wanted Rosa to use the word bisexual repeatedly and the language that was used is a lot of what she had to hear personally. She talks about bi-erasure as well

The writers wanted to incorporate real life experiences into their show more to make it authentic and it was important to them to involve Steph and not just go for it because they had nobody who could speak for her specific experience

they emphasize the complexity of the characters and not just token diversity for brownie points. also different takes on classic masculinity tropes (a subject that repeats often also in Episode 1)

it’s meant to be a socially relevant show but they want to normalize the subjects they target and don’t make it 30 minutes of education and “here’s everything that’s wrong with x”

Terry/Sharon: a stable loving marriage between two black people

“Title of your sex tape” is a favorite joke, and since the series starts with established dynamics everyone in the squad is cool with joking about it/ it doesn’t feel inappropriate in their workplace because they’ve known each other for quite a long time

there’s a cut scene from the s6 finale where the vulture heard Jake say “title of your sex tape” and stole it to use himself which Jake in return hated more than anything he did, ever. And a similar instance (also a cut scene) where Hitchcock heard it and stole it as well

[ts-2020-olympics]

EPISODE 1 - “My Legs Were Not Qwoperating” - Kathy (Part 2)

no. jk here.

So, it’s morning. I look around at our camp, and see everyone is at work. Karen is painting their flag and using safety scissors to cut out Monty’s head, Kevin is chanting to himself in the corner, Stoner’s been asleep so we buried him in the sand up to his neck and then sculpted a sand castle around him. Tommy is just trying to make eye contact with anyone he can and so I’m...avoiding that. I’d say we are solid but that’s probably not the truth, and so that kind of stinks. I’m hoping the newbies really fuck up, and I know that’s harsh but...that’s showbiz, babe!! Speaking of newbies I still haven’t talked to a few of them.  Emma like zoomed away the first day and I’ve given up on talking to her. Hope she goes first. That’s all I got for now, going to eat breakfast I will continue this rant later.

my truth is that i haven’t played an org game in so long i forgot i was playing and then remembered an hour ago and tried to do this wack qwop game hsksksj! my legs were not qwoperating 

I see there's an arena going on! I might go there first if the rest of the team is okay with it - gives me a chance to scope things out and get a feel for the area. I'm excited!

WE WON THE FUCKING CHALLEEEENGE AAAAA NOT ONLY DID WE WIN BUT WE KILLT IT WE SCORED 12 AND EVERYONE ELSE GOT LIKE 8 AND 5 OHMYGOOOD IM NOT GONNA BE FIRST OUT YALL IM SHAKING I CANT BELIEVE GSJDKDVDSNDBWSKHSD okAy okay so thank god bc my tribe has like no drama so our vote would’ve been really difficult and that gives me more time to think about my possible advantage and the possible bonds here. 

so while I am safe I still have to game a little bit and talk to the people I’ve been talking with who are going to tribal like Sammy and Jordan, funny enough who are on the same tribe.... maybe I can get them to protect each other..... hm

Well we lost because of technicalities, I choose to blame that. This tribe is apparently extremely quiet to each other, so the fact that I messaged everyone hello this morning, nearly 48 hours after the start, I am SOMEHOW one of the best social players here. Challenges are generally my strength, we got last in QWOP, so backup is social game in a social ORG. I can be in some danger here, but I think I have a TRusuT sclusTER to keep myself here. As is necessary. I don't care who goes, I have a preference, but I don't really want to set a goal right now. Flexibility is key.

I'm literally PISSED. I'm fuming right now, like wtf? OK so I haven't confessed anything yet because my tribe has been SO quiet. I've honestly talked a lot more to some of the people from ONE WORLD than I have from some of the people from my own tribe... and I'm not crazy okay? It's NOT my fault. I put in effort with these people... But some of these people are just DRY! Drier than the Sahara Desert! Drier than my chappy ass lips! They can't hold a conversation, and that's obnoxious. I'm not going to respond to you if your message has literally nothing in it worth responding to, that's why most of my messages will either have a follow-up question, or something actually of substance to comment on/reply to... YOU SHOULD DO THE SAME SO WE CAN ACTUALLY SPEAK AND MAINTAIN A CONSISTENT DIALOGUE!!!!!!! But NOOOOOOO, my tribe decides to not speak... MOVING ON! The only people I've had good conversations with really are Juls and Em, and lo and behold, Em does lit rally nothing in this challenge, which sucks because I'm afraid that may put a target on her back. But I'm not sure, I definitely will vote with her and I think Juls will too. I'll move onto that later but I wanna talk about why I'm fucking LIVID RIGHT NOW. I literally made SO many suggestions on how we could tweak who does what in this challenge, or what we do on certain parts. Now I'm going to admit a TINY bit of fault here, in that I didn't say my suggestions on the tribe flag. There are some things I think we could've done to make it better, but I love Juls, and everyone had already told her it was great, so I didn't wanna make her feel that I didn't like it or was over criticizing. So I didn't say anything. That was my bad. BUT EVERYTHING ELSE, LUV? I said We should guess lower than 610... Now granted my even 600 guess still would've been too low to win, BUT AT LEAST IT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN OVERBOARD! HMPPHH!!!!! Or maybe we could've compromised on 605 if people hadnt IGNORED ME!!!! IDK!??!?!?! Further than that, I asked for different tweaking on the chant and nobody gave any suggestions. I'm not saying we would've won or anything had I taken the lead or that I was doing everything the right way,  obviously I wasn't since my chant got 3rd, but what I'm saying is once it became obvious the challenge was going to be about group participation and suggestion, our tribe needed to unify. Everyone in the tribe needed to have a clearer vision and talk to eachother and actually put in the EFFORT that this stuff requires. Which I'm admitting my own error, in not doing that with the flag. But our tribe was just so quiet and silent before now, which sent me down a paranoid spiral, that I was super fucking worried about my place in the tribe or where things were heading. Now I realize I'm in a good position on the tribe for sure, it's just that our tribe is STRUGGLING. ON THE (Mr.) BRIGHTSIDE!!! We lost by a tiebreaker guess, and only by 4 points.... and I'm pretty close with Juls, and it seems like a target will probably fall pretty easily onto Billy. He had the worst QWOP score, described himself as arrogant in his own intro, and just seems.. critical of others. He gives off a strange vibe. If it's not him, I'm pretty sure it'd end up being Jacob or Em. I feel that me and Juls are safe which is all that I can hope for on a tribe this freaking tiny, I instantly connected with Juls over our love of anime, the fact her name is the same as Euphoria Jules, and other stuff. As far as One World goes, I honestly keep forgetting it exists. I haven't reached out to too many of the others but have talked back to those who talk to me and it's been generally decent. I get along well with other Jacob, the not pie one. Caeleb I already know from before this and so I feel like we'd def work together, and I get good vibes from a lot of these people like Eve, Nicole, Ben, etc. Honestly I'm just so frustrated right now because things have been quiet and nervous and I'm PARANOID, and my tribe was so close to winning but fucked it up over minor things we could've tweaked had we just tried a little harder and communicated a little more. ugh, this SUCKS. now my first legacy in Tumblr Survivor is a mediocre chant (i honestly really like it and i put a LOT OF THOUGHT INTO IT OKAY....) and a trip to tribal council *Sobs* Here's hoping things take a positive turn from here...? It could always be the Bronze before my Gold! ~Hamfisted olympics metaphor~

Love my tribe a lot! However, i still feel on the outside somewhat tho.... Idk this is a lot for me I just hope we win until a swap or whatever its called ahh

Alright, Darcy back here with yet another confessional!   Here is a little update since I last posted confessional, mainly the biggest difference is now I have an ally formed with Ben.   At least, I made a deal with Ben yesterday proposing just the generic looking after one another ordeal, then going to give it some time and maybe question Beck about forming an alliance, since I've been connecting with her even more past bit, but don't want to go too fast and end up asking half my tribe right away to work with me, as I don't want to be seen as playing hard out the gate and make myself a target.   Meanwhile, I decided to give the Olympic Village searching a shot, but alas was no luck in the cafeteria cabinets, so will just have to try my luck again in the future rounds.   Thinking of searching either the South or North end of Village next round, but we shall see.   Anyways, I'm glad my tribe won Immunity, so don't have to go to tribal this round, and this Olympic Arena twist sounds great, essentially one person from each tribe goes to the Arena, I believe for the immune tribes just 1 person is selected to go to the Arena, and for the losing tribes, the two voted out go to arena, where the winner of the voted out people come back in the game, and loser is out of the game for good.   Think I read that all right, but maybe won't hurt to give it another read to double check.   For now though, I shall go, so will see you all with my next confessional.

Fuck having to go to tribal first. I don’t like having to send someone home when I don’t even really know who I’m playing with yet. 

Seems like Billy pulling the "I don't want to make any moves" to me was surprisingly bullshit. Who would've thunk. I think everyone is fine with voting out Billy here, I didn't really want to initially, but yeah, uh no. I could be in danger, but if everyone is honest here, I should be fine. Fingers crossed. "I'm either going to be first boot or win" - Pia Miranda

So, the first tribal is in a bit and we were almost sent there but managed to pull through in the tiebreaker! I hope that opens some of my tribemates eyes (lets be real, just Stoner who hasn’t been doing much of anything!) Being in One World but none of the newbies talking to me is still wild to me, half of them still haven’t even accepted my contact request. Yet they’re plenty active in the chat, so what gives? Anyway, I hope it’s just that they are intimidated by the very fact that I am beauty, and grace, and Miss United States. I hope we can win the next round, hopefully first or second place so we don’t have a close call again. We are trying to get Chris to go to the Arena so he can get us that 20% but he hasn’t answered so...what gives? On the alliance front I’m good with Kevin and Karen tribewise , the bigger picture is Kevin, Jacob and Sammy want to align and then we will have a bigger alliance that includes Beck, Juls and Eve. Eventually I might wanna break off and align with Jules and Eve, but having bigger targets around is essential. Anyway that’s all I got for now. I should start making video confessionals AS THINGS ARE HAPPENING. Ya know? Anyway toodles for now see ya next round. OH, and I’m hoping Jules and Jacob are safe this tribal :( love them and hope we can work together going forward. 

Hiiii, arena results are about to come in so I'm just gonna drop a quickie confessional before that happens. I don't honestly remember how much I talked about the strategy and gameplay that was going on, so I'll give you a quick rebriefing of that. I'm really close with Juls. Em I like, but I want more out of her. Jacob is quiet, but inoffensive. Billy, I actually like him, but there are certain things about him that just.. Rub me (and others) a strange way and that's why we voted him out because certain things he did just didn't quite gel with the rest of the team. If he does return from the arena though, it's possibly I may vouch for him over Jacob because Jacob... HE JUST NEEDS TO TALK!!! But idk. One world still SUCKS and is dragging me through the MUD because nobody wants to do cross-tribe talking me included but that gets me paranoid as FUCK, luv. About the live tribal, it was fun! My camera angle was awkward and I was soo nervous though, but I think I was still able to hold it together relatively well, act normal, and give semi-decent answers. Will definitely be improving my live tribal performance for next time so I can be a bad ass bitch on call, it's GOING to happen... dskfdsf. I love Emma on call/video sooooo much, But on text she's kind of dry. Maybe I need to ask her if I can call her sometime, but I haven't done a call for a game like this in a looong time. I'm a bit nervous about that. But yeah. I'm looking forward to the game... The first tribal just makes everything real, and you realize, oh shit, we're playing Survivor. And I forgot how thrilling it was to play in a live, video environment like that, it just grips you and it feels so much more intense than when wiki results are just posted in chat and you don't have to deal with physically seeing the person you're voting out, talking to them with your actual voice, etc. All that stuff just makes the experience that much more realistic and it's so intense and fun. I'm ready to get this game on (Btw fuck the arena twist)

hey guys im really loving this game so far... keep up the good work!

i didn’t appreciate the attitude billy gave me whenever i tried to help the team out but! i’m willing to get over it because he is a nice guy. i feel fairly comfortable with my team and i’m just hoping we can avoid another tribal! 

Hello! I can not believe I'm back for a 6th time on Tumblr Survivor this is so crazy! Especially for an Olympic season because I vowed to myself that I would never do a season again that was more than 20 people after being in Japan. Now that I'm back I'm ready to play, I haven't really came into this season with a strategy but if I did it would have changed because this is a One World season and now with the arena twist I'm sweating. One World makes the season super social (probably one of my least favorite twists) it's very easy for this season to let pre-mades and majorities take over just like that and let underdogs like me in this season to get taken out especially taken out early. So I have been social not only with me but a few people on different tribes but not too much. I don't want to seem like I'm playing too hard but I wanna build relationships before swaps happen so that people choose to ally with me (A WINNER) over a newbie or a returnee who hasn't won because I already have a big target on my back. With how the tribe divisions are it gives the newbies the biggest advantage with 15 newbies compared to 5 winners and 5 non-winner returnees, which isn't bad in a Fan vs. Favorite season because the ratio is even with returnees and newbies. However, now that I'm in the minority and also labeled a WINNER, I have to do damage control to lower my target but most importantly integrate with other people which is hard because I'm not the best social player and I know that's my weakness but I still have to attempt. In terms of my own tribe I'm closest to Kevin, when I talk to him we have a good conversation I probably already irritate him but I think out of everyone I can put my trust in him the most compared to everyone else. I think having one good ally is how I want to approach this season due to the arena twist I don't want to come across as running the tribe especially the winners tribe incase we do go to tribal because if I vote in the majority and that person stays they are immune and will be mad and spill the beans about the tribe, and I want that person to be the least mad at me so the focus is not on me. So having overall good vibes and 1 strong connection is a good strategy for the long term game. It might put me at risk for being voted out in the short term but I want to play the long-term game. Preferably if it is up to me I'd want Nicole to be the next closest to Kevin and myself without myself having to make an official deal with Nicole so I'm not seen as the ringleader. Kevin says he wants Stoner to be the first one voted out on our tribe but honestly I rather it be Karen. Stoner has the reputation keeps his target bigger than the rest and I think Karen has the better chance of flipping on the winners and succeeding than Stoner does. So my target is Karen if we do lose. I also believe that there may be an alliance with Nicole, Kevin, and Karen which I hope is not an actual alliance because that's bad news for me. I hope we don't go to tribal because I don't wanna go to a tribal with only 5 people. Wish me luck!

Whew it has been one round and i've fucked up so much its not even funny. its a little funny. anyways i start this game on a tribe of 5, i allign with connor who ive never played a game with and find some similar common ground, and with jacob who seems chill. we lose the first challenge sucks and all hell breaks loose, long story short fuck sammy. I'm trying to work my way back in caeleb and jacobs good graces. its gonna be a rocky road, but its one i've driven before

[theteablogger]

Ive been reading the DAYD sporking and I just got to the part where the DA temporarily ousts Neville as leader bc he's gone off the rails, and knowing what I do now about the writer, the next chapter where he's got a massive persecution complex over it are so disturbing. He ignores his gf for 10 days, and then when she's mad he goes "wah im insecure" and SHE apologizes to HIM. He's treated as the victim from then on, and he decides to FORGIVE them when he was violent and awful. Self insert much?

Summary of that part for those who haven’t read DAYD: after Renny Runcorn was killed, Luna Lovegood was kidnapped, and Kevin Whitby was taken by Dementors, Neville went off the deep end and started pushing himself farther than was safe or healthy. He was training too hard, not sleeping, and generally not taking care of himself. One day, Draco informed him that he’d overheard the other DA officers voting to relieve him of command. Neville responded to this by charging into the Gryffindor common room in a violent rage, threatening Ginny, so that Parvati had to hold him at wandpoint just to get him to talk. 

They tried to explain that they were just worried about him because he was overworking himself and was more focused on revenge than on any constructive goal–and while he was such a fantastic leader that they would do literally anything for him, they weren’t willing to die for vengeance. Neville tuned them out and whined about how he’d done so much for the DA, it meant everything to him, and no one understood his manpain. 

As they continued to explain how afraid they were that he was going to collapse, he spiraled further, going on about how he was a terrible leader and was going to ruin everything, but if they took away the DA, he’d have nothing left. He seemed to think they were kicking him out entirely, rather than temporarily relieving him of command, although they could not have been more clear about that.

Neville stomped off to his room and refused to speak to anyone for the next ten days. His friends tried to approach him many times, but were rebuffed. Hannah, his girlfriend, wrote him letters that he refused to open, preferring to wallow in self-pity. Finally, Seamus confronted him and chastised him for not allowing anyone to take care of him (while reminding him what an incredible leader he was), and then Neville saw the light.

He went and found Hannah, made a half-assed apology, and admitted that he’d read none of her letters until that night because he thought she was just feeling sorry for him. Hannah said that he was too strong for his own good–and again, such a great leader. At that point, Neville explained that he’d been deeply hurt to be relieved of command because he felt like everyone was saying he’d fucked everything up and nothing he’d done for the DA mattered. Instead of asking why the hell he hadn’t listened when Ginny and Parvati told him why they were doing it, or any of the previous times that people had tried to tell him to take it easy, Hannah fell all over herself apologizing for making him sad and promising to “make it right”. Neville nobly forgave her.

In August 2009, Andy made the self-insert even more obvious when he announced to the DAYDians that life was about to imitate that chapter of the fic. I never figured out exactly what that was about because his personal LJ is long gone and only a few entries were preserved, but he was most likely indicating that he was stressed and over-committed. I haven’t found any sign that Andy actually had a breakdown at this point, that the DAYDians “relieved him of command”, or anything else along those lines. It was probably another instance of Andy’s saying that he was going to back off from DAYDverse (perhaps in hopes that they’d beg him not to go) and then not following through.

[thedestinydiariez]

i guess my first issue is that i’m a planner, in fact i might even overly plan. ever since i was in middle school i’ve had excessive to do lists, weird orderly habits and the need to be in a clean environment at almost all times. i blame it on my childhood need to be seen and appreciated and in a Mexican household an organized room is a good start. my dabble in psychedelics allowed this part of me to mellow out a bit, embrace dirt and earth- our true home. besides the point. my second problem is that i find it hard to accept change due to my type asshole personality. partly bc i’m secretly lazy and any disruption in my well thought out plans leads to more thought dedicated to a new path of execution. so here i am, with my 6 month, year, 5 year and 10 year goals in mind and an invisible maze to find myself through. all the thought i put into life changing decisions in the trash. back to the drawing board, me and the whole world at the same starting line. billionaires and middle class both wondering where their next check is coming from. as kevin parker would say yes i’m changing. moving boxes and empty rooms where there used to be messy painting and board games and mischievous laughter. even if we all return to normal, i’d like to picture a world where were more compassionate, aware, permanently altered. some change feels refreshing. a new pen or air freshener. the first day of school. the start of a season. the wonder of an uncharted city. maybe it’s two old lovers meeting again at just the right time. i don’t even feel guilty having a crush. it feels invigorating yet so innocent. who would have thought that while you would make me question my life night after night there was a sweetheart writing a song about me. would i have made a huge mistake? did i catch myself right before i went down the wrong rabbit whole. i feel energized to become the best version of myself. smarter. hotter. more determined. more driven. slightly more psycho. better off. a second chance at the life i thought i didn't i want to be apart of anymore. i need to embrace dents in my fantasies. reality is i don’t control absolute shit. i often imagine the universe to be a beautiful curvy woman with long red hair playing the harp. the higher notes coming off angelic and peaceful. while the lower notes and moments of our life are deeper and less harmonious.. together with their range, they make heavenly music. i have a ying yang symbol on my body forever, i can’t be a hypocrite practicewhatyoupreachright. on the other hand most change makes me uncomfortable, unprepared. annoyed that i have to work through more contingency plans. crazy how i haven’t sat on my couch since friday. haven’t even fixed the sheet in fear pieces of you might fall out, as if i can still see your body’s outline in the satin. i haven’t swept either because i can see the mud you tracked in from the trail. why are these small fractions of us what hurts the most to get rid of. each grain of sand significant yet slipping out of my fingers. can i be upset my castle was washed up by the sea. what did i expect with sand as my only foundation.

[survivetashirojima]

Episode #4: “My move........ it approaches.........“ - Joanna

NOOOO JG. You will be missed ;-;. Sorry I didn't ally with you but like, following your trend of orgs, I couldn't risk this one having you go missing in the middle again which happened. The challenge sucks tho. I really wonder what the punishment for not doing it is. A lot of people are hella inactive so I'm assuming its to curb on that. Its really annoying tbh. I want a nice friendly game but most of the people don't talk and i'm sad. I came back to make new friends but its okay, I still got Madeleine and Joanna and others. *sigh so quiet...

Okay so, I am getting my goals Play the game with out my parents knowing-  it’s been over a week. They don’t know. Make moves, do shit- I am in 3 alliances and just successfully coronated my first vote. Don’t fail my classes- I’m only failing one it’s fine. And everyone is so nice! I love this cast so much!!! And JG just quit, ugh. I hope everything is okay, and he is okay!!

Oop, it’s been a minute since I’ve confessed. My bad. Not much has been happening but now I’m up to 3 alliances without doing much so I guess that’s good. There are people who are real quiet...I guess I am too, but I have people I trust

https://youtu.be/DmayBejZEqM

OKAY 1. I just won myself back into I Love Money, which was the ORG that I got eliminated from that drove me to steal that road sign LMAO anyway if that makes me more inactive I’m sorry ;-( I’m naturally bad at orgs so this twist of no tribes already puts me at a disadvantage 2. and now I’m one of the 6 people who can be eliminated which. Puts me on edge. UGH why am I on the bottom of this already. I’m gonna try to push for Kevin bc he’s a comp beast, that’s all I got

I DID IT I WON A THING I WON MY FIRST THING OH MY GOODDDDD I'M SO EXCITED TIME TO MAKE BIG MOVES

Pat and I are going to try and make a move tonight. We are deciding between Dylan or Andrew. I think Dylan is feeling super comfortable so I'm pushing for him. I'm excited to try and mix up this game. I think this is the round that things need to start happening, and I am going to do my best to make them start happening, and make them start happening exactly as I want them to. I want to become a mastermind in this game. An under the radar threat. I have won a single immunity, I can use Pat as a shield and as an ally and I can control this game behind my shield, because nobody will think of this little high school girl as a threat. Thats the hope at least. 

I thought Stephen was going to like want to work with me, but he is super hesitant about it. Currently trying to sway Timmy into voting for Dylan. Said that I heard Dylan and that I was leaning towards voting for him, he doesn't have to know that voting Dylan is my idea. Hopefully I can pull this thing off, a blindside under my belt won't be too bad. I told Kevin that I heard his name from Stephen (this is true btw), so hopefully Kevin will trust me more than he already does (or at least I think he trusts me). I got my work cut out for me if I am going to pull off this Dylan vote, but Pat and I are working hard at making sure this happens and I really hope that it is pulled off.

MY MOOOVVVVVVEEEE It's falling apart. I don't think I have the numbers and tribal is coming up. Brien might have to go I guess.

literally I’m probably going home LMAO I think I have people protecting me, but it’s probably me. So basically if this is my last confession: I love you all, and this is the lowest placement I’ve gotten in an ORG

So, developments. Cause I’m a messy bitch I’m making another alliance with kevin pat joanna and maybe others, the reasons for this are twofold. 1: more information. seeing how they talk and who they talk about will tell me a lot, and 2: i never wanted to put all my eggs in a kalokairi basket to begin with. Dylan barely talks to me, god knows what madeleines doing after that challenge, timmy is awesome but also very smart and knows me well. So this alliance provides me with other options, however, the risk is that if theres a majority alliance with someone from kalokairi and this new alliance they will know im being shady, and likely vote my ass out. But they may have been targetting me all along, who knows. At this point I might try and target brien, because he is in neither of my major alliances, but the new alliance is pretty sold on dylan so... who knows?

So, I’ve been busy. I am honestly out to get Madeline. Joanna is my main bitch. I am close with jay and brien as well. And me timmy and Madison have an old relationship. I feel good about working with them going forward. I love Kevin as well. I like vi. Everyone else is boring. But I’m like trying hard to get Dylan voted out first and be the crazy vote and save brien my Philly brother. This has been the craziest vote yet and you all have me and Joanna to thank for that. This whole individual immunity thing makes me feel so good.

*Screams into the void* THIS VOTE IS A FUCKING MESS so this is the Dylan Brien vote. (unless something else gets thrown in then I'm just fucked) so basically i was helping plan a good ol' Brien vote out. I had it all good. we had Majority, then I watch it crumble before my very eyes. first it seemed like Kevin wasn't with us, and then Stephen. so as far i know it is 45 minutes until tribal and we presumably have majority OR everyone is lying to me and dylan is going home. I just, this is a giant mess.I love it, but i also hate it. it is out first complicated vote. *Continues screaming into void*

Sorry I haven't confessed in a bit, I've definitely been INV the last few episodes lol. But anyways, get out of work and for the first time it really felt like I'm playing a game. People were FINALLY messaging me about an actual strategy and actual decision that needed to be made. Joanna filled me in that it's Dylan or Brien going tonight, and that she was leaning Dylan. At first I wanted to go for Brien instead, but I talked to Pat and he give me a whole list of people who are voting for Dylan. And TBH if no one is gonna give me an alternative, that's just what I'm gonna do. Besides, the only people who have talked to me today were on that list so those are the people I want to work with. Like Pat, Joanna, Madeleine, Kevin. But apparently this vote is split down the middle so?? I assume if it deadlocks that everyone immune won't have to draw a rock, so I really don't mind letting it tie. Though realistically anyone not immune is just gonna flip their vote to avoid it. Tho I'm really not worried about next round's tribal either. There are far bigger fish to fry in this game over me right now.

My move........ it approaches.........

So I'm desperately typing this 5 minutes before tribal AHH! So earlier on Pat told me Madeleine was voting with him. I messaged her like, 30 minutes ago, asking her what she was doing. And she just starts pushing real hard for me to keep Dylan. It was pretty much like I was her last hope in the world. TBH I'm not falling for the age-old Survivor trap of telling both sides I'm voting with them. If the vote doesn't go my way, it doesn't go my way. I can't be a wishy-washy player this early on in the game. It's way more likely for the majority to take revenge on the person in the middle than someone who was just a cog in the machine for the other side. Right now I just want to play the part of a loyal alliance member and get down to smaller numbers. I can't be seen as anywhere near responsible for the first game defining moment of the season. It's way way way too early.

CASUALTIES:

CAST ASSESSMENT:

PART 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqzYsBDKxCc&list=PLB-4yJ0EHce-bxHQVmQVdrV6tx36_6Jly&index=9

PART 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqnaixVax30&list=PLB-4yJ0EHce-bxHQVmQVdrV6tx36_6Jly&index=10

PART 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2z-brIL5i0&list=PLB-4yJ0EHce-bxHQVmQVdrV6tx36_6Jly&index=11 

[threejerseyboys]

behind the scenes tag thing

Have better time management skills bc the way I’m currently organizing myself is a fucking mess

thanks @fiftythousandgreenbacks

coffee: what’s your coffee order?

I don’t really like drinking coffee outside of my house unless its iced lmao so i guess just an iced coffee

cypher pt. 1: if you had to be part of a kpop group, what position would you want to be (i.e. leader, visual, lead vocal, dancer, rapper, maknae, etc.)

I would want to be a dancer bc Jimin has my heart and I wanna make someone horny with my dancing as much as he does that for me. If I could just perfect my pelvic thrusts, it would be everything.

boy in luv: when you are interested in someone (romantically, sexually, etc.), does your behavior change?

My behavior around that person changes since I would want to be around them more, but my behavior around other people would be the same.

just one day: who would you want to spend the last day of your life with?

Everyone I genuinely care for

tomorrow: goal that you would like to achieve within the next year?

Have better time management skills bc the way I’m currently organizing myself is a fucking mess

miss right: what is your ideal ‘type’?

It would be a lot easier to answer this question before I experienced what a relationship was. Now I guess my answer would just be someone who loves me as much as I love them.

hip hop lover: three songs that are meaningful to you?

Liability by Lorde (I’ve felt that I was a nuisance many upon many times.)

Shot Down by Khalid (HIDING ALL MY FEELINGS IS THE ONLY THING THAT WORKS)

Lost Boy by Ruth B (It’s a pretty big world and it’s easy to get lost physically and emotionally.)

(notice these are all pretty depressing songs)

24/7 = heaven: what are you most looking forward to?

Being happy. Literally every time I do one of these tags I bring up the pursuit of happiness every fucking time bc I grasp at the idea so hard.

move: last time you cried?

YESTERDAY BITCH HEH HEH. But on a serious note, I am v overdramatic and the smallest inconvenience makes me shed a tear so every time I see one of these questions I laugh to myself.

butterfly: most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?

Jimin and anyone can fight me on this

young forever: what is one movie from your childhood that you will always treasure?

Finding Nemo. It was the first movie I ever saw on the big screen and I related to Nemo being lost in the world.

boys with fun: you’re going on a roadtrip with seven other people– dead, alive, fictional, real, famous, or not. who are they, and why?

Lorde bc she is a genuinely down to earth person unlike certain ppl she hangs out with. (names will be refrained in case I get my blog deleted or I get sued.)

Jimin for obvious reasons. I won’t let the language barrier get in the way ;)

Nathan Zed bc his music taste is on point and he RESPECTS WOMEN along with Jimin

Nick and Joe Jonas (not Kevin for obvious reasons) and if you want me to explain why then you haven’t read my url

Mindy Kaling bc she is v good at making me laugh

and I guess one of my best friends so I don’t seem like a completely shallow person

whalien 52: weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

I was the cause of my own sleep paralysis. Like I couldn’t wake up bc I was the one holding me down. I have some whack ass dreams.

house of cards: when was the last time you felt sexy?

This is gonna sound pathetic but anytime my gf does my makeup is about the only time I feel sexy.

begin: who are you most grateful for in your life?

This is going to be cliché but my parents since they immigrated to the U.S. and wanted a better life for me.

lie: biggest fear?

Failure even though I come across it more often than expected so you would think that it’s not a fear anymore.

reflection: if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

Time heals all wounds. Even if you feel completely and utterly hopeless, don’t be discouraged. That’s something that I was and still am grappling with, but if I still remember that, I think I’ll be ok. (I hope.)

cypher pt. 4: what do you do to treat yourself or relax?

I go on this shit website.

2!3!: your favorite thing about bangtan?

Their passion to make music and connect with their fans never dies. The fact that many interviewers and fellow musicians have come out and said that the boys are kind hearted people as opposed to some other idols they have met proves that they’re really down to earth and they genuinely care about their fans.

not today: what are your procrastinating right now?

Ochem since I wanna be “ahead” by the time college hits but it’s not happening. I didn’t understand it when I started and I still don’t

you never walk alone: how many people do you trust with your life?

I guess excluding any family members like 5 people at most