#And Kira could have won | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thus-wrote-mrs-zeppeli · 3 months ago

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“Something cute” won the poll for what I should do for my 100 followers special, so I tried to come up with something pretty dang cute~

Various jjba characters x reader in: Artsy Date

Drawing each other sounded like a great date idea at the time.

Content: nothing really beyond a bit suggestive

Characters: Joseph Joestar (Part 2), Caesar Anthonio Zeppeli, DIO, Rohan Kishibe, Jotaro Kujo (part 4), Yoshikage Kira, Guido Mista, Bruno Bucciarati, Leone Abbacchio, Diavolo, Jolyne Cujoh, Johnny Joestar, Gyro Zeppeli, Diego Brando

Joseph Joestar: Oh he was QUITE confident in his ability to capture your essence on paper. And no matter how you insisted this was only for fun, not a competition, he was determined to be better at this than you. And he even tries to sabotage you, just a bit, by doing a hard pose to draw when it’s your turn to sketch him.

He IS fun to model for though, flirting with you while he directed you on how to pose for him. For a moment you almost feel like an actual professional model with the way he plays it up. He even makes a camera click noise with his mouth when he’s finally happy with your pose.

He works pretty quickly, talking out loud to himself as he goes, occasionally holding up his handiwork so he can compare it to you.

“Tell me how much you love it.”

He says it SO confidently given how…unimpressive his art skills are…

I mean…you can definitely tell it’s you. Because the character he drew has your outfit. But it’s a bit exaggerated proportion wise and he REALLY cannot draw faces to save his life wow-

“Is that my…nose?”

He’s a bit offended. “NO, that’s your mouth. This is your nose.”

You squint when he points to a spot on the drawing but you don’t really know what he’s pointing to.

But you’ll treasure it forever, you had so much fun being his model and doodling each other. And he quite enjoyed modeling for you, too, very happy to have a sketch of himself drawn by you. You drew him winking with a smug smirk on his face while in that stupidly complicated pose he decided to do despite your protests.

It’s unmistakably Joseph Joestar.

Caesar Anthonio Zeppeli: He loves this idea, but takes it SUPER seriously. He has you very carefully posed, and really takes his time illustrating you to the best of his ability. He even uses watercolors to add to your “inherent elegance” as he calls it.

When you finally get to see it…

It’s a bit amateurish, but still quite impressive, though he totally exaggerated your grace and poise. Your clothes flow in the wind as you pose delicately by a fountain…he definitely took some artistic liberties because there wasn’t any wind when you posed for him, and your outfit wasn’t THAT pristine, but it’s a lovely portrait, and you can’t help but smile learning Caesar really sees you as such a graceful and lovely person.

You feel yours isn’t nearly as grand in comparison, as you drew him much more casually, resting with his chin on his hand, looking quiet and contemplative. He adores every gift you give him, but something this personal is especially wonderful to him.

But you’re a bit embarrassed to see he went through the trouble of framing your drawing of him…sheesh Caesar…he’s so extra sometimes…

DIO: He could maybe make some free time for you in his evenings to indulge in the fine arts. You’re not sure if you’re surprised or unsurprised he actually takes a bit of interest in such things. You want to draw him? He’s happy to indulge you.

You’re off to a strong start because you have to hastily tell him he doesn’t have to take off all his clothes, you’re not making THAT kind of drawing-this was supposed to be cute!! Just pose nicely!

He can’t help himself and goes with something pretty provocative, but whatever. At least your drawing is gonna reflect his personality well.

He’s not opposed to drawing you in turn but he’s bossy just for the sake of it. He wants you to pose a certain way and if you move at all he swore he was going to stop immediately. And he was a man of empty promises, but not empty threats, so you held as still as you could manage, a bit embarrassed at the pose he demanded of you. He chides you a bit for acting surprised that his sketch of you actually looks really good.

You, posed with your arm on your own shoulder, and your head tilted so your neck is very exposed and you are surrounded by darkness. It’s a beautiful sketch, done quickly, and he has signed his name in big letters right on the drawing of you. Such a Dio thing to do. You understand even clearer how he feels about you.

He thinks you should consider it a generous gift that he deigned to waste his time illustrating you, so you’d better treasure that half-hearted sketch he’s made for you.

He has no interest in taking great care of your sketch of him though. It will be tucked away in a book somewhere and promptly forgotten about, but if you were to suggest another drawing session while he was in a pleasant mood he might not refuse.

Rohan Kishibe: Only AFTER suggesting it did you realize perhaps it was not such a good idea.

Rohan was a Very Fast artist. As soon as you suggested it he had an amazing illustration of you done in five seconds flat. You tried to explain it completely defeated the point to go so fast, and that you were supposed to pose for him at least while he drew you!

Well…he doesn’t really see the point in that. But it’s not like he’s swamped with work so…he will try to indulge you if it would make you happy.

You ask him what pose you should do and he says you can do whatever you want because he could replicate it accurately.

Once again defeating the point but whatever.

You try to do a cute pose in the hopes you can convey your romantic intent with this activity. All he does is quirk an eyebrow at you and mutter that your pose looks a bit uncomfortable to hold, but that he’ll be quick so it’ll be fine.

You sigh. He was so unromantic. You were posing SO cutely and he STILL wasn’t getting it.

His illustration of you is professional, even inked and colored with markers, and it only took him a few seconds. You’re posed draped across the couch, with your arms spread and your legs bent to give the appearance of stretching charmingly.

He narrows his eyes in confusion when you proclaim it is his turn now. Apparently he wasn’t listening very closely to how this was supposed to work.

He doesn’t want to pose so you can draw him! That’s boring. He could be doing something else. This really isn’t supposed to be an argument, so you suggest he reads a book or something so he’s not entirely “wasting his time” while you draw him.

He’s grumpy about it, but relents. As long as you promise to be quick.

He just quietly reads in his chair while you doodle him. It’s awkward and not nearly as romantic as you were hoping for, but you’re pretty happy with how your sketch of him turned out.

He doesn’t have much to say on your drawing, quick to excuse himself so he can finally go back to doing whatever he was doing before you interrupted him with this date idea of yours.

But he loves it very much, and keeps it safe in his studio, but he’ll be a bit of a brat about it if you ask because he’s embarrassed to admit it makes him feel good.

Jotaro Kujo: He’s decent at drawing, but only animals, not so much people. But if you’re both not busy one evening then fine, might as well.

He tells you to keep your expectations low, but you’re just glad to finally be spending some quality time with him. He’s not the easiest man to schedule time with, always busy with something.

His drawing of you is simplistic but recognizable, since he knew he’d struggle with detail and it’d just end up bad if he tried.

You love it! It’s rare for him to do anything like this for you, so the drawing is very dear for you, regardless of how he insists it’s not anything to be so excited about. He doesn’t really say anything, but he’s glad it makes you happy, even though he doesn’t feel like he did much.

You accidentally draw his hat too big when it’s your turn to draw him, but otherwise you think it looks pretty cool. You tried to capture the coolness of his white jacket blowing in the wind. You can’t really tell if he likes it, but he ends up folding your sketch nicely and keeping it safe somewhere, so you like to think he enjoyed this little bonding activity.

Yoshikage Kira: UGH, you’re not sure what you were expecting. The drawing he makes of you is…interesting. You’re recognizable, slightly above stick figure status…but he put a Very noticeable emphasis on your hands, putting much more effort into them than anything else in the drawing. The more you look at it the more you realize it’s just a really low-quality imitation of the Mona Lisa. Now you understand the purpose of the pose he suggested. But he seemed to moderately enjoy himself, so…Success, you suppose.

He’ll cooperate and pose for you as long as it doesn’t take too long.

You go for something casual, his pointer finger against his cheek, his other fingers against his chin. Relaxed, but stylish.

He thanks you for the drawing and tucks it away somewhere. It’s safe, but out of mind.

He doesn’t really care if you keep ahold of his drawing of you though. You’re free to do whatever you want with it, he’s not an artist so he understands if you don’t want to keep it, it didn’t take that much effort to draw anyways.

You keep it for a bit but eventually lose track of it. It’s pretty funny when you accidentally stumble across it after it disappeared for a long time. Oh yeah. That weird drawing Yoshikage did of you where he only tried when he was sketching your hands. You had forgotten about that. For good reason.

Guido Mista: He’s definitely not an artist but if you don’t care about how it turns out and just wanna spend time with him through this activity then he’s totally down.

The bullets end up wanting to draw you too so…you end up with a lot of poorly drawn portraits of yourself. Honestly you couldn’t pick out Mista’s drawing from the bullets’. How do they all draw the same way…

All the drawings of you are pretty much just stick figures with very large heads. He said he wanted to capture your facial features accurately so he had to make your head bigger. More room for the eyes. Yeah he’s definitely not taking this too seriously but you expected as much from him. So to counter him, you draw him poorly as well, and then all of the bullets large and in as much detail as you can manage.

He pretends to be offended by it. “Why’d you draw my eyes so big?!” he asks. Because beyond his sense of fashion his deep dark eyes are his most notable feature! Duh.

He ends up losing the drawing on accident within a week but! The important part was how fun it was! The finished products weren’t that important-

Please don’t be mad at him-

Bruno Bucciarati: He thinks it’s a lovely way to spend some time together, so he does what he can to clear his afternoon so he can spend it with you. He starts by saying he’s not an artist so don’t expect too much from him, but his brow furrows in concentration once you’ve assumed a pose you thought he’d like. You go for something cute but

stylish, sitting with one leg up and your other outstretched along the couch elegantly.

His drawing of you is cute. Soft lines and very simple, mostly just capturing your pose than any other details, with dots for eyes because he claims he cannot draw eyes for the life of him. It’s sweet, surprisingly adorable for the serious capo. He tells you not to show his gang though, or he’ll never hear the end of it.

You embarrass yourself a bit when it’s your turn, because you spent a very long time concentrated on his chest trying to get his tattoo accurate. And he’s not helping with his flirty little remark where he suggests you could probably see a little better if you sat closer to him. And then pat his own lap.

It totally breaks your concentration, so you decide your drawing of him is now finished, handing it over to him before he can fluster you any further.

He thinks it’s lovely, and he promises to take care of it, and make even more of an effort to carve out some free time to spend with you, even if it’s just half an hour or so.

He’s already planning a date he can surprise you with next time.

Leone Abbacchio: He’s not one for sweet romantic gestures, so he pushes back a bit, but if you nag him he’ll give in pretty quickly. It’s not like you’re asking him to do something he really hates doing, and he has a particular weakness for you…so fine. But just this once.

He’ll hold still so you can sketch him, but only for ten minutes, and he gets to choose the pose.

At least the pose he chooses looks nice. Despite his jaded personality, he’s a pretty and elegant looking man. You draw a side profile of him, his expression that usual impassive frown, but his features have a sort of rugged grace.

When you slide your masterpiece over to him, he exhales through his nose so he can maintain that grouchy persona, but he’s gentle when he actually takes the drawing from you.

When it’s his turn to draw you, he works quickly and silently, not even looking at you, which leads you to think he’s still unhappy about being asked to do this.

He won’t admit it but he didn’t look at you because he didn’t have to. He’s replayed memories of you through Moody Blues enough times to have your face memorized.

You weren’t expecting much when he casually slid the piece of paper over to you.

But when you look, you can’t help the way your jaw drops. A side profile of you that mirrors the one you drew of him. Drawn amazingly well. It’s accurate, elegant, surprisingly soft…he’s even sketched a few flowers alongside you to make the piece more aesthetically pleasing.

The way you stare makes him embarrassed, and he ends up biting out that if you didn’t like it you should just throw it away.

You respond by clutching it protectively against your chest. It just makes him more embarrassed to know you’re going to be clinging to that thing for a while. There’s really no winning with him-

WHATEVER.

You can do whatever you want with it, but do NOT show that off to Mista, Narancia and ESPECIALLY NOT Giorno (not that Giorno would tease him, but the mortifying idea of that blond knowing ANYTHING about him makes Leone feel ill).

Once enough time has passed, you can start convincing him to make a few quick sketches for you, since they make you happy for whatever reason, and unfortunately for him he loves making you happy even if that means dropping the apathetic gangster disposition for a moment.

Ghiaccio: You thought that you had finally found something that was relaxing for both of you and wouldn’t completely frustrate him and result in him losing his temper. Again.

Turns out you were incorrect. Again.

Firstly he’s not a fan of sitting still. He’ll sit in one spot for you, but he’s tapping his foot the whole time and fiddling with his phone. So you try to go as fast as you can before he gets too impatient with just sitting there waiting for his turn to draw you.

It turns out a little bit rushed, but you feel like you captured his look pretty well, even adding some red to his glasses and shoes for a splash of color.

But when it’s his turn to draw you…he starts getting frustrated fast. He keeps erasing and starting over, the poor paper getting smudged and wrinkled into oblivion, and eventually he gets mad enough to stop when he accidentally rips through the paper with his pencil.

He shouts a slew of Italian curse words before saying he’s done with this stupid date, slamming the sketchbook onto the table in front of you and storming off in a huff of embarrassment at how poorly the drawing turned out.

Well that went great.

His drawing is honestly pretty cute, the condition of the paper and the eraser smudges and rips tell quite a story…

Because of how crumpled the paper turned out it kinda looks like the hastily drawn version of you got hit by a frying pan or electrocuted by a lightning bolt, but you still like it. It was nice of him to at least entertain your idea, even though it ended up frustrating him.

Diavolo: Draw him? NO.

Not a CHANCE in HELL.

Remove that idea from your mind immediately and never bring it up again. He will not allow even one vague sketch of him to be made, and if you do it anyways he will not forgive you.

Really you should’ve expected that reaction. What were you thinking with that one…?

But if you irritate him enough about it, he’ll Eventually get fed up and tell you to sit down and hold still. If all he has to do to get you to stop whining was sketch you, then FINE. He’ll sketch you.

Stop squirming in your seat and squealing with excitement…you’re giving him a headache.

You try to hold still for him.

He radiates irritation at having to do this, his gaze intense and the strokes of his pencil harsh and deliberate.

“There.”

He tosses the sketchbook over to you and promptly gets up and leaves before he has to hear your feedback.

It’s pretty good actually. A little rough since he drew it while in a particularly foul mood, but if he actually tried he could really make something nice.

If you tell him you love what he drew for you he’ll dismiss your compliment immediately. He doesn’t care about his art skills, he has much bigger things to concern himself with than sitting around sketching his partner whenever they begged him for that kind of attention.

Jolyne Cujoh: At first she thinks it’s a super cute and romantic date idea, so she’s eager to try it with you.

She does a cool pose for you, elegant but powerful, and she tries to hold it for you but it ended up not being the easiest pose to hold so you have to work fast. She ends up having to stretch after that painful pose, and even though you feel a bit bad listening to her complain about how she pulled a muscle doing that, it’s hard not to enjoy how she rolls her shoulders to loosen them.

She says it was totally worth it because she loves your sketch of her. You better believe she’s going to take good care of it, even if you say it’s not good because you had to rush it. Too late. She’s not giving it back. You’ll have to fight her for it, and you know from experience you’re not winning if you try playfully roughhousing with her.

When it’s her turn to draw you, she pretends to be highly concentrated and serious, but she ends up feeling a bit embarrassed when she actually finishes her sketch of you.

It’s not bad at all, very cute, and she gave you sparkly anime eyes since they’re the only type of eye she knows how to draw. The proportions aren’t perfect, your head looks kinda big compared to your body, and it’s pretty simple, but in a way where you could claim it was a stylistic choice and not on accident.

If you really insist you love it she’ll be slightly less embarrassed, but don’t go showing that around to everyone! It’s for your eyes only!

She signs it for you with a playful green lipstick stain.

But seriously. Don’t show it around.

Johnny Joestar: Usually you’re both too tired by the time you’re setting up camp when it starts getting dark during the SBR to think about doing anything cute with each other.

But one evening you have an extra burst of energy, and there’s juuust enough light by the fire to do a sketch of Johnny.

Well, if you want to. He’s not ready to fall asleep yet so you might as well.

You really wanna capture his intense eyes. So you don’t make him do anything in particular except look at you on occasion so you can make sure you’re getting his face right.

It turns out okay. At least you got the eyes right. He doesn’t really know how to react beyond just thanking you and tucking the drawing away. The two of you can only hope nothing happens to it, but it can’t be helped with all the action during this race if your drawing ended up destroyed.

When it’s his turn to draw you, he’s quiet and concentrated, occasionally glancing up at you for accuracy’s sake but otherwise he seems to know what he’s doing, to your surprise.

“I think it turned out alright,” he comments, handing it over to you after signing it with a little star with two J’s in it.

It’s a bit of an understatement, even in the darkness with only the light of the fire to see, he captured an amazing amount of detail. You, sitting contemplatively by the fire, shadows dancing across your face with the flickering of the flames…and he got the scenery really accurate.

“Do you like drawing landscapes, Johnny?”

His sketch of your surroundings was done remarkably skillfully.

He shrugs, but then thinks about it for a moment before saying yeah, landscapes were more enjoyable to draw for him. You have to slow down a bit to capture the details of your surroundings accurately in a drawing so…perhaps he likes the change of pace every once in a while.

Gyro Zeppeli: He acts sooo confident despite knowing full well that he cannot draw people. And he’s a bit of a menace to you, since you said this was only for fun and nothing to take too seriously, then surely you don’t mind him constantly moving around and striking different poses and making weird jokes. If he was going to be ridiculous then FINE, you would draw him ridiculous.

You confidently declare your drawing is quite flattering and then spin your paper around to show him a half-hearted attempt at a sketch of him lying on his side with a rose between his teeth, surrounded by hearts. You’ve purposefully given him a tiny head so it looks silly.

He takes it as a personal challenge, declaring it was his turn so you’d better be ready. While he’s drawing you, you pretend to fall asleep like he was boring you.

You were expecting his drawing to be unprofessional but at least recognizable. When he confidently hands you back what he’s drawn you genuinely aren’t sure what you’re looking at.

“This is me?”

“YES, see this is your hair, and these are your arms…” he explains the drawing to you but can’t help the occasional laugh that escapes. So he WAS messing with you with this incomprehensible scribble he presented you with.

“You really captured my essence,” you say, holding the picture up next to your face to compare them.

“Like you have a twin,” he declares, accompanied by his signature laugh.

He’s such a TEASE sometimes-

Diego Brando: He’s really struggling to grasp the idea that this is just for fun and isn’t supposed to be super serious, because as soon as he’s done posing for you he’s hovering over your shoulder while you draw and backseat sketching for you. He’s like ‘oh my hair should be a little longer, you got my nose shape wrong, that’s not how my eyes look, etc.’

Ok Diego why don’t you draw yourself if you know so much about art, sheesh-

Even if you say that as a joke he might actually end up plucking the sketchbook and pencil from you and finishing it himself so it’s to his likeness. You find it a bit irritating that he’s actually pretty good at art and his additions to your drawing of him really make the piece come together. So annoying. How dare he be innately talented at drawing?

AND just to show off he makes you do a complex pose when it’s his turn to draw you. He ends up capturing it and your appearance on paper wonderfully.

You look great sketched by him, due to the pose he chose it almost looks like you’re in the middle of a dance, a sense of movement that made you look graceful and powerful. Just the type of thing Diego liked in his partners.

You’ve been a bit idealized in his drawing, not to your surprise, but you’re quite fond of it anyways. You make a point of not laying on the praise too thick though. Otherwise it would go to his head, and the last thing he needs is an even bigger ego.

Which Jojo character would you want to draw you? Personally I’d love a Rohan original but. I actually think DIO’s art style would be aesthetically pleasing to me-

#thus wrote Mrs Zeppeli #jjba x reader #jojos bizarre adventure x reader #joseph joestar x reader #caesar zeppeli x reader #dio x reader #rohan kishibe x reader #part 4 Jotaro x reader #yoshikage kira x reader #guido mista x reader #bruno bucciarati x reader #leone abbacchio x reader #jjba diavolo x reader #Jolyne Cujoh x reader #johnny joestar x reader #gyro zeppeli x reader #diego brando x reader #x reader

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applestorms · 8 months ago

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L can be such a possessive character at times. he always strikes me as the type of person who is deeply aware of everything that he owns, both in a more literal sense and metaphorically-- like, he knows what money he has and how to use it, what resources are readily available to him and what he has to be sneakier to utilize, the habits and tendencies and emotional states of individuals and world governments both. the DN musical really puts an emphasis on the more computer-y aspects of how his brain functions, which isn't as obvious in the manga/anime but i think still works well as a way to follow his thinking. it's kinda what near does too: everything is a factor to them, every tiny detail a new opening to optimize for the best results, every person and location and object a part of a puzzle waiting to be solved. and as a part of that, L is deeply aware of every and any little thing he may or may not have control over, and exactly to what degree.

his habit of stealing titles as depicted in the LABB murders novel is such a good example of this. ryuzaki, eraldo coil, deneuve. he eats people alive and then takes their names for himself like some kind of fucked up fae or trickster god, creating new masks and personas to hide behind from the remains of the people he's devoured. i have to wonder if he would've used the title of KIRA for himself had he won-- i can hardly imagine what kind of power such a title could hold if held in his hands. of course, he could've just used the defeat of KIRA as a way to build up the L title even further, offering up the body of a dead god like perseus showing off the head of medusa. but L is so emotionally attached to the kira case, i struggle to see him allowing it to fade from existence so thoroughly as near does, even if it is only kept close on a private level...

this is part of why i think it genuinely makes a lot of sense that L's ultimate win state would include capturing light to some degree. even if the memory of KIRA somehow manages to fully disappear from the public consciousness, there is no fucking way L is letting light yagami out of his grasp. honestly, the moment that L truly loses this game is not when he starts investigating misa while still under rem's watch, not when light gets back his memories, not even when he dies, but the moment when he allows light to be freed from the handcuffs. the moment when he allows the other members of the task force to turn off the cameras and keep him from watching light and misa talk in the lobby. the moment when he gives up, lets light yagami go outside of L's personal sphere of control, is the moment when L starts the clock ticking down to the end of his own life.

this is one of the key ways in which i see light as a true equal and parallel to L, as after L's death he, intentionally or no, continues the same tradition and takes L's title for himself, twisting the two sides together into the L-KIRA amalgamation. only, the L title functions a little bit differently than every other persona or title that we see in the series-- because L's true name is L. that's all that he is. on a literal, legal, and emotional level, i don't think that L is anything more than L. he is the world's greatest detective, he's an incredible, weirdo super genius, but he does not afford himself much more than that, barely allows himself personhood or humanity outside of his work. light was the one to ultimately defeat L because he did not just put a stain on his character (as BB attempted), did not just kill him, but stole his very identity and took it for himself.

one of the biggest contradictions of L's character that i think you must accept should you attempt to portray him accurately is that he is both deeply detached from humanity while also having all of his work and effort and life be focused around saving it. it's one of the ways in which he is an exact opposite to light-- where light relies on humanity for external validation, to be Seen, while also looking down on it as dumb and immoral and spineless, L is so separated from it that he barely exists as a person, all the while dedicating almost every action he takes to helping it. remember: for all the emotional turmoil that wammy's house and the legacy of L may put on the kids living there, ultimately it's entire existence is nothing more than L's logical solution to his potential demise. if he dies, the world goes down with him, all of the cases that are yet to happen and he is yet to solve being left in the air. he has the foresight to set up a fail safe, but not to consider the emotional implications of what being that fail safe might feel like, how high the price of your own humanity is if you are not already alienated from it, the inability to have your own name on your gravestone-- though perhaps some of the blame also falls on watari's shoulders in this case, philanthropic old bastard that he is.

imo, playing his game really got it right in presenting L and light as one and the same, synonyms on either side of the mirror. in every action they take they are both so selfishly selfless, playing the game for themselves and their own pleasure but plastering the needs and will of humanity on top of it. L isn't invested in saving humanity for the sake of humanity-- he just likes the thrill of having the stakes raised so high. hard to shit on ryuk for wanting entertainment when the humans he finds are just the same as him.

#death note #astronaut rambles #l lawliet #*L voice* i need to get him in a collar #ahh the thematic cannibalism of light yagami and l lawliet #lawlight #also. i need someone talk to me about near's toys again #i reread mello's death + their final confrontation right before class today & i really like that near wears an L mask when they first meet #especially since that one author's note (?) about near probably hating L keeps standing out in my mind ahahahhaahah #that fucking house. it really fucks those kids up #did L ever even realize? probably not #too busy playing mind games with his psychological warfare fuck buddy boytoy to notice #feel like i should have more L thoughts honestly. i ramble about light often enough #but i suppose i'll just do with this for now and let it come naturally later #'what puts him at ease' 'the food that he likes' 'learn his routines' aww. they're planning a date :))

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novahreign · 1 month ago

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Terry Richmond x Kira Reign

Kira

Congratulatory applauds rang throughout the theater. It was Oscar’s night and I was up for two awards this evening. I was sitting on the fourth row of the left side, trying my best to calm my nerves and not appear anxious as the cameras rolled by. The love of my life who was up for his own awards gently stroked the skin between my thumb and forefinger, a subtle gesture that soothed my shaky hands.

Announcer after Announcer, presented the categories, nominees and winners. Forced smiles and genuine support were displayed for millions of people to see.

“Here are the nominees for best motion picture.”

I can hear my heartbeat thudding in my ears. The cameras panning to me and Terry. We sized each other up before doing our handshake- a promise that no matter who wins, this win was for home.

Terry won and I dramatically sighed, making the audience laugh. I wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders, giving him a rocking hug.

“Congratulations baby.” I wiped my lipstick off of his cheek.”

“Thank you baby.” He smiled big, giving my head a quick squeeze.

I stood as the cast embraced one another. One of Terry’s co stars-the leading lady, was smiling too hard and was embracing him a little too long for my comfort. Despite us having been together for two years, the media still ran with the narrative that they were the “perfect match”. I have to admit, they did look good standing beside each other. Every new press video, fed into my insecurity and my anxiety. This exchanged didn’t help. Terry always assured me that nothing was going on between the two of them, no matter how the media tried to twist the story. But, yet, I wondered, as she stared at Terry like he hung the moon. She was captivated by him as was I, hanging on to his every word.

From the corner of my eye, I saw my publicist and best friend Scarlett Jenson, frown. I kept my eyes straight ahead as she gave her speech but nothing prepared me for the kiss that she planted on Terry’s lip. This hussy kissed my man, on live television. Terry didn’t push her off, the director of the film hastily made the final speech before the cast exited the stage. Scarlett discreetly did a triple tap to the inside of her wrist, a reminder for me to keep it together. I masked my emotions instantly, unsure of what my face already revealed.

Ten minutes later Terry returned to his seat, taking my hand in his and I let him because I didn’t want to cause a scene. I tried my best to keep it together but as a fellow actress, who was well deserving of an award that she was long overdue for cried while giving her speech, I used that moment to shed a few of my own. The audience would assume that I was crying for her but that couldn’t be further from the truth.

The rest of the show went on and I was no longer present. I sat there like an empty shell, waiting for it to be over. My chest ached something bad and all I wanted to do was get the hell out of this auditorium.

Once the show was over, everybody left the building heading to their cars that would take them to the after parties. Up until now, I was excited to attend with Terry by my side but now I just wanted to go home. Terry touched the inside of my elbow, a remorseful look in his eyes, that only I could notice. He asked me about attending a specific after party.

“No. I’m going to call it a night.”

“Wh-“

“Terrryyy.” A voice sang out followed by an annoying girlish giggle. I reframed from rolling my eyes because I know that we were being watched. She was testing me, I’m convinced. I should be dragging her right now as she stood in my facing congratulating me and with my best fakest smile, I gave a simple “Thanks.”

For a second; I almost forgot that I had won my own award tonight-Best actress in a supporting role. I’m a musician, and the fact that I crossed over into acting, (something I fought Scarlett and my team the whole way) and won an Oscar in my first role; was huge and something to celebrate but it was over shadowed by the stunt she pulled.

Looking between Terry and I, she finally got the hint that her presence was not welcomed in that moment or ever by me. “I’ll see you at Quinn’s party, right?”

“Yeah. Yeah. I’ll be there,” he said coolly. She gave him a final hug and me a soft smile before disappearing into the crowd.

“Are you sure, you don’t want to come?” He asked again and I put my best smile as the cameras flashed.

“I’m sure.” We smiled at the photographers who called our names.

“Baby, I’m so-“

I cleared my throat, glancing around at the cameras “Let’s not do this here, please?”

He hesitated but nodded his head “Okay, I’ll come by your place later?” He asked trying to gauge my mood.

“Sure. I’ll see you then.” He hugged me to him, kissing my forehead “I love you.” I pressed my lips together to keep from breaking right there.

“Love you too.”

With those parting words, Scarlett and I were off to wait for our car. Once at my condo, I had to assure Scarlett at least five times that I was truly okay. She eyed me, unconvinced but took my word for it anyways. “Okay. Call me, if you need anything, Kira? Anything. I’m serious.”

“I will SJ, I promise.”

She gave my hand a soft squeeze “Terry loves you, it’ll be okay, I just know it.” I nodded my head “I love you.”

“I love you too, now go.” A final squeeze she left. Closing the door behind her, I braced myself against it. A sob escaped my mouth and I gasped , quickly wiping my face to gather myself, just in case Scarlett decided to come back. She was known for doubling back.

I moved through the house, feeling the weight of tonight already. I stared at my reflection as I waited for the shower to heat up. My lips quivered at seeing myself. My mascara running freely down my cheeks. The glow from the top of this evening was gone. I blinked away the fresh tears, I can feel the anxiety starting to creep in; my thoughts were all jumbled. Playing different scenarios of Terry and Re’gine in every way. I felt if I was fighting with the devil and angel on my shoulder. Intrusive thoughts for the win.

I cut the water off, not feeling up to the shower and sat down on the cold tile, scrolling endlessly on my phone. A plethora of text messages, tags, and DMs seemed to hit my phone all at once. Majority were congratulating me, but good amount of them were a recap of Terry and Re’gine on stage. Women and men alike, offering their opinions and theories on what was happening, if anything at all, between the two. That only sent me down a rabbit hole of analyzing their body language in interviews. I was torturing myself but I couldn’t stop it. The message banner appeared, I clicked it and saw who it was from

(Mommy Cheryl 👸🏾♥️): See my baby, you did it and you didn’t think you could. I am so proud of you mama. I wish that I could be there to squeeze you and show you how proud of you I am. You deserved this! You sowed good seeds and reaped a harvest. To God be the glory! Congratulations, Lady Bug. I love you, see you soon.❤️

Mommy Cheryl, my foster mom. The one who showed a broken teenager ,who everyone casted off, unconditional love. I picked up the phone, immediately typing….

Lady Bug🥰: Thank you so much mommy!! You really did always believe in me, I love you.”

Mommy Cheryl 👸🏾♥️: Always Lady bug. Always.😘

Her message lifted my spirit just a tad bit. I’m grateful for her and Scarlett for pushing me to go bigger. I ventured out and took a chance on myself.

Scar Baby: please don’t do anything rash! I’m coming over.

What is she talking about? I thought. A link to a post came through and I clicked on it and saw, my boyfriend and Re’gine seemingly hugged up at the Oscars After party. There were multiple pictures, they looked like a couple. “I knew it.”

I clutched my phone tightly to my chest as my heart sank. Sobs wracked my body. My cries echoed through the bathroom. Scarlett entered my bathroom, helping me off of the floor. “How could he do this to me?!” I questioned out loud. “I hate him.” Terry all of people know how hard it was for me to trust people. He chased me for two years before I finally gave in. Why throw all that away?! I asked Scarlett.

“I don’t think that’s what it is, you, of all people Kira, know how these slimy ass reporters work. They’re trying to sell a story. You just need to talk to Terry.”

“I don’t want to talk to him. I don’t even want to see him. You would think that after what that bitch pulled on that stage, that he would’ve had the sense to stay far away from her sneaky ass and watch what the hell he’s doing?! But nooo, less than a few hours after pulling that stunt with him on stage,He’s seen posing with her and there she is, hanging on to him, like he’s her man.” I wiped the snot away with the back of my hand, “How come every time, I like guy, they dawg me out?”

Scarlett hugged me to her. Trying to find the words. She knows my history and she knows how much trust it took to take a chance on Terry, “You may get some better understanding if you hear him out.”

“I don’t know, Scarlett. I think I’m done.”

**************************************

A week had gone by and I spent that time locked away in my bedroom, eating junk food on my bed surrounded by snotty tissues and take out boxes. I managed to get myself together enough to go to the studio, because I stick to my commitments and my bills ain’t gonna pay themselves. Coming and going from my building every day was becoming a piece of work. Paparazzi has camped outside of my building, hoping to catch a glimpse of me, hounding me with their questions.

“What’s going on with Terry and Re’gine?” Fuck, if I know.

“Did he cheat?” Don’t they all.

“Are the two of you still together?” Is the sky green?

“Was it real?”

This question I was asking myself repeatedly. I didn’t give them the satisfaction of answering their questions, although I wanted to. However, I would rather not give Scarlett and Nadege heart attacks. So, I kept it professional with closed lips and a cool face, giving nothing away. Trying my best to “Keep it cute.”

I hadn’t talked to Terry since the night of the Oscar’s. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I know that I should hear him out, but it’s all so fresh and I’m too hurt right now. However, that didn’t stop the endless phone calls, voicemails or text messages, begging me to give him a chance to explain and reminding me of how much he loves me and cherishes our relationship. He sends me flowers everyday at 5pm on the dot. My counter got so full that I had to call the florist and asked them to stop accepting his orders; they didn’t.

By the end of the week, the paparazzi hadn’t let up, so the manager politely asked me if could stay somewhere else for a few days, just until things died down. I wanted to argued that I paid my rent, just like everyone else but I agreed, because it was unfair to my neighbors, and they were becoming annoyed. So, I’ve been staying on the west end of town at Scarlett’s. The change of scenery is what I needed. Scarlett’s home always gave me a sense of peace. The distraction was welcomed and I didn’t know how much more I could be huddled in my house, chowing down on junk food, when I had a tour to prepare for.

It was Wednesday afternoon, and I sat in Scarlett’s sun room,sipping on tea and strumming away on my guitar. Today was my “off” day, and I intended to enjoy it.

“Hey, I’m going out for few hours to run some errands. You want to come with?”

“Nah, I’m good. I need finish writing this song, I think it’s coming along..”

Scarlett’s eyes light up. She truly enjoyed my work and not because she’s my publicist. “What do we got?”

I flipped the composition notebook around ,letting her read the words.

“I like it, it’s real. Can I hear it?” She sat crisscrossed in front of me “please?”

I sighed and picked up my guitar. I nibbled on my lip as I found the cords. I closed my olds and began to sing. A smile creeping up as I sang the first line.

Your smile, your voice

Creeps inside my heart with everything you do

I have no choice

Loving you is all that I know how to do

The words settled in my heart as I sung them. I closed my eyes and let it pour of me.

Even when your head was heavy

You was still holding me up

Even when you were in pieces

You would hold me together

Even though I was your baby

You always saw the fight in me

One that was there to hold my back

Don't you know that I choose you over anybody else?

When you're not around, it's just bad for my health

I'm good on my own, but with you, I'm something else

You're telling me to choose up, but I already choose you’ll

Your souls breathes into my body like a cloud of smoke.

I should have known, that you’d stay in my system even when you’re gone.

I choose you, you, I choose you, you

They say it's choose up season, finally I got a reason

Yeah, and I want you, you, I choose you, you

Everybody needs someone to hold it down

I choose you

I opened my eyes to see Scarlett smiling with tears in her eyes, “that was beautiful.” She leaned forward and wiped my tears “it’s gonna be alright, Kira, please call him, so you can get some understanding.”

I could not deny it. I missed him so much. My soul was craving him so bad. Terry Richmond was the only man that I’ve ever let this close to me and for this to happen, is crushing me. I don’t know how much more that I could put this off. I think it was time for me to hear him out and ease my spirit from carrying around this heaviness of pain.

Scarlett went on with her errands and I took a break from the music. I leaned on the kitchen island, sipping on my tea as I scrolled through photos of me and Terry. It was the most candid photos ever . I smiled as I came across my favorite photo of us. We were on the beach, our skin sun kissed, our smiles were as bright as the day. We were cheek to cheek. His eyes were a rich emerald this day. His eyes were so beautiful and sometimes so intense, anytime he looked at me, I felt as if he was staring into my soul. I thought about how much love was in his eyes whenever I would catch him looking at me look, especially when he would make love.m to

I broke from my memories.

“Hey Siri, Call The Love of my life.💙”

“Calling love of my life, blue heart.”

**************************************

I felt Terry’s presence before I saw him. I stared at his silhouette as I approached the door. Just waiting for a minute to further prepare my mind with what’s about to take place. I took a deep breath before unlatching the security chain and pulling the door open.

Terry stood there dressed in all black hoodie and black sweatpants. His eyes searching my face. As I did the same. He looked good but tired. Were his days filled with sleepless nights, like mine?. His presence always gave me comfort. All I wanted to do was to be wrapped in his strong arms and tell him and tell him happy I was to see him, but my hurt keeper me rooted in place.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” I said softly “come in.”

I turned to walk to the living room, hearing his footsteps behind me made me feel anxious. We sat on the couch. Me, on one end and him on the other. The furthest we’ve ever been apart when around each other.

“I miss you.” He said in a rushed breath.

I picked at the pillow. I hesitated but decided on just being real “I missed you too.”

“How you’ve been?”

I snickered. Was he really asking me that question right now. I’ve been miserable Terry is what I wanted to say but instead I said, “fine.”

“Well, I’ve been miserable without you baby.” He scooted closer to me but I couldn’t handle him touching me right now, so I stood up from the couch.

“Terry, I called you here, because I wanted to give you the chance to speak your peace..I don’t want to do the small talk. So, please just say whatever it is that you need to say.”

He sighed rubbing his hands up and down the legs. “Can I ask you a question?” I nodded my head “Do you think that I meant to you hurt?”

I shook my head “No.” I admitted “but that doesn’t matter because you end up doing it anyways.”

“And I promise you, Kira, that was never my intention.”

“I believe you, Terry but that still doesn’t change the fact….i have my own question for you.”

“You can ask me anything baby.”

“Has anything ever happened between you two, prior to the Oscar’s or after?”

The expression on his face whenever I asked him, should’ve soothed my insecurities but it didn’t. “No. Kira. Nothing has happened, I hung around her once, after we wrapped the shoot, but it was just dinner.”

“You never told me that.”

“I honestly, didn’t think it much of it because, we went out as a cast, but after that I night.” He furrowed his eyebrows “I could tell that she liked me. Again, I didn’t think much of it She’s flirtatious by nature but her interactions with me was becoming different, then that of the others.”

“Did she say with her own mouth that she liked you?”

“Yeah, but I thought she got the hint when I all I could do was talk about you all night.”

I cocked an eyebrow “and that’s supposed to make me feel better?”

He sighed but I continued “because it was apparent that she didn’t give a damn that you were in a relationship, when she kissed you for the entire world to see, as if you’re her man.I get we were live and you didn’t want to embarrass her, but while you were trying to save face for her. You hurt me…but it doesn’t stop there. Her kissing you was one thing, but the fact that this girl felt comfortable enough, to step up to us , the way she did once we’re outside, has blown me!” I started pacing to calm myself, I didn’t even realize that I had raised my voice. “You allowed this female to disrespect me and our relationship,multiple times and not once. Not once! Did you do defend me. She got to flaunt you all night while I was at home crying my out eyes on the bathroom floor. Trying to give you the benefit of the doubt and even still you didn’t address it, publicly until almost a week later. I don’t give a fuck about what your team instructed you to do. THIS WAS PERSONAL! ”I wiped the tears from my face. “My co-star went harder for me on the situation than you did and that hurts Terry.”

He sat there quietly, unable to say anything, because there was nothing to be said. I was right and he knew it.

“You always set boundaries but the one time that you really should’ve implemented them, you didn’t. So, now where here.”

“What I can do to fix this?”

“You can’t. I can’t trust you anymore. I’ve always been upfront about things like this and I’m not letting up, no matter much I love you.”

“I’m so sorry, Kira. I fucked up and I understand that, but please give me a chance to right my wrongs, baby. I’ll do anything, just don’t let go baby, please.” He stood on his feet taking me in his arms before I could step back.

“You hurt me.” I sobbed in his chest.

“I’m so sorry.“

“You did the one thing you promised me, you wouldn’t do,” I said my voice becoming unrecognizable as grief took over my body. This was going to be a hard loss.

“Please let me make it up to you. Kira, I’ll do anything. Don’t end it like this.” He pleaded with me and I almost gave in, but if I let him get away with it now, no telling how many times he would try to get over on me.

“Terry, you need to go…..I need space from you.”

He caressed my face as sadness clouded those stormy grey eyes. “I love you Kira, and I’m going to make this right, okay baby, I will. I promise.”

I didn’t say anything because I couldn’t bring myself to care anymore.

He pressed a kiss to my forehead.“I, promise baby.”

After he left, I wept until I had no tears left in me to cry. I came to the realization that once again, I’m left to pick up the pieces of my heart because I trusted someone who couldn’t handle my heart. Now, I’m left alone with pain, that I didn’t ask for.

**************************************

8 months later

I wrapped up my tour. It was such a great time. My fans showed up and showed out. Although, touring isn’t initially my favorite thing to do, connecting with the fans, hearing them sing along to your songs, hearing how you inspire them, makes all of the crazy sleep patterns worth it and just as I was about to settle down for the next month or so. Here comes Scarlett with the proposal to join the cast of this new show. I fought against but she damn near begged me to hear out the director. I’m currently sitting at the table read, waiting for it to start. Fellow cast members passing me by congratulating me on my tour and expressing that they enjoyed the LA show. I sat with my glasses perched on my nose and the high lighter in my hand, scanned through the episode, highlighting my lines and making little notes beforehand.

“Look at you, already getting ahead.”

I snapped my head up to see Terry looking down at me, smiling. I stood up and embraced him tightly “Hey, Terry”

He chuckled, holding me just as tight “What’s up Kira.”

It was safe to say that although Terry and I broke up. We were on good terms. We meet up again, when our emotions were not so strong and talked about our relationship. We agreed that a break was necessary. We did no contact, but he still reached out to me to congratulate me on my tour. I still loved this man.

“What the hell are you doing here, you stalking me?”

He smirked “You’d be so lucky.”

I playfully roll my eyes “whatever, you still want me.” I said jokingly.

“I do.” He said lovingly. He took my hands in his.

“Guys, you can please, take your seat , so that we can get started.”

“You doing anything, after this?”

“Nah, I’m free.”

“You want to go somewhere and talk after this.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Alrighty, sounds like a plan.”

*************************************

It was a nice day, so we decided to take a walk in the park. He paid for us to get a snack. I opted for an ice cream and he got a hot dog.

“I don’t see how you’re eating that and it’s cold as hell, out here. You always been weird like that.” I laughed.

“Terry, quit playing with me.” I took a scoop of my cheesecake ice cream “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You look good. I don’t know if I told you that earlier, but you do. I like your hair.”

The long tresses were cut short into a bob, I traded the jet black for a chocolate brown, that brought out my features.

“Thanks Terry. You looked good too,” he was growing his hair back out, the short curls, looked good on him.

“Aye, Kira…can we sit for a minute.”

“Okay.” The change of tone made me a little nervous. We sat on the brown bench that was placed in front of a pond. I watched some little kids feed the ducks pieces of bread as Terry gathered his thoughts. A minute or so later I looked at Terry to find his eyes already on me.

“I know that I’ve said this a lot but I truly am sorry for the way that things happened. You’re one of the best things that I happened to me and I’ll regret it forever about the way things went down.”

“It’s okay and I do accept your apology,.” I swiped my hair out of my face “I never trusted you, at least not fully. I knew deep down that you wouldn’t do me like that, it’s not even your character but I was afraid, and as much as I loved you, any minor inconvenience and I would’ve pushed you away…I will never excuse what happened but you know that I forgive you and I know that you wouldn’t purposely mishandle my heard.. and Also, Drew told me everything that happened backstage-the way you chewed her out. I just wish I knew about it then. You’re a good man and your heart is so big and I love you for that. We’re good, everything else is just water under the bridge.” I motioned to the water. “Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Alright.” I caressed his ears before sitting back “what I really want to know is, how did you manage to sign onto this show without me knowing.”

“I asked for them not to announce it because I wasn’t 100 perfect sure if I was able to commit to it but when I saw that you were on, I was more than down.”

I placed my hand over my heart feeling flattered “Aww, you want to work with little ole me? You’re not afraid that I’ll outshine you.”

“I mean, which one of us won the Oscar?”

My jaw dropped before I playfully punched you “For your information, I won an Oscar too, sir, ugh. Don’t try and play me.”

“But did you win in the category against me though?” He answered smartly

“Oooo, Terry Richmond, you need to be stopped.” I hollered out with laughter.

He laughed “No, but on a serious note. I would love to work with you on this, I believe the two of us could create something special, you know for the culture,”

“Oh, for the culture?”

He nodded his head” Um hum, for the culture.”

“Alright, we’ll see about that. Working with me and Dating me are not the same thing, so just be ready.”

“Good, then I’ll know that you’ll be ready to come with it and you’re amazing at everything you do and I know this will be no different, by the way, that LA show…wooooo.”

“You came to my show?” I asked shyly. It wouldn’t make a difference but just knowing that he was somewhere in the audience touched me.

“I wouldn’t have missed it for anything.” We stared at one another.

“I still love you Terry,so much.” I admitted.

“I love you more, Kira.”

I threw my hands up “So, what do we do with that?”

“Let’s not rush anything. Let it play out like it’s suppose to and we’ll go from there.”

I hugged him “ I can agree with that.”

“I missed you so much.” He said breathing me in. I laid my head on his shoulder

“I missed you too, Terry, so much.”

Once we parted, we giggled. Sounding like teenagers experiencing puppy love.

“What you got planned for the rest of the day?”

“Nothing, why?” He pulled me to my feet.

“I never got celebrate you Oscar win, I want to take you out?” He spun me around, pressing me against his front.

“Where are you gonna take me?”

“That’s up to me to plan.”

“You don’t have a lot of time to plan anything, it’s damn near 5 O’clock.” I said checking my watch.

“Aye, excuse me. Hol up.”

“Terry, wait, what are y-oh my gosh.” I stood in the middle of this park as Terry full sprinted after the guy on a bicycle. When he returned, he pulled a single rose from behind his back. “I haven’t missed a day in eight months and I’m not about to start now.”

I bit my lip to keep it together before hugging him “I don’t know if it’s fate that we’re back here or what? But I’m just glad that you’re back.”

He planted a kiss to my forehead “Well whatever it is, I’m glad to be back. I love you, Kira, it’s us, forever.”

#aaron pierre x black reader #terry richmond #aaron pierre #terry richmond x black oc

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walkingstackofbooks · 9 months ago

Text

"Are you happier? Now that the war is over?"

It had been meant as a serious question, but from the look on Kira's face, she hadn't caught onto that. "What sort of question is that, 'am I happier'?" she asked, laughing a little as she spoke. "Of course I am! Who isn't?"

Shrugging, Julian forced himself to smile back at her. "No, of course," he agreed. "Silly question."

His smile clearly hadn't been convincing: Kira's own smile had faded as she looked at him more closely, her eyebrows creasing into a frown.

"Have I done something to make you think I'm not?" she asked sharply. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"No-- no, nothing like that," Julian said hurriedly. "I mean, obviously Odo's gone now, and Keiko and the Chief, and Worf, and... and the Captain... But that-- That's different, isn't it, I guess. You can be sad and happy at the same time, right?"

He cringed, knowing that he hadn't quite managed to make sense there: years of practice had made him very good at recognising Kira's 'baffled' expression.

"All these years," said Kira, slowly shaking here head, "and I still don't understand you, sometimes. Of course I miss Odo, and the others -- and while we're at it, of course I'm still angry and-- and upset about the things that happened during the war..." She made a face, banging her fist lightly against the table. "Damn you, you know I'm no good with feelings, that's... there's a lot more there, besides," she added. "And I'm sure as hell not going into that right now...

"But if you're asking whether I'd rather be here, now, living without the threat of the Dominion or the Cardassians, knowing my friends are alive and safe -- and if they're not, at least being able to mourn them in peace, not having to make decisions that could get us all killed if it goes even slightly wrong... or if I'd rather be back there, in the war -- well. It's no contest, is it?"

"In theory, no, of course--"

"In theory?" Kira asked incredulously. "Julian, are you saying you were happier in the war?"

"No!" he exclaimed: that hadn't been what he'd meant at all. "The war was-- it was... Well, you couldn't be happy during the war, could you? Everything was too awful, it was impossible."

"A lot of the time, yeah," Kira said softly. "And that's gonna stick with us for a long time -- but they're only memories, now. We made it."

"We did," Julian said quietly, his eyes fixed on the table. "I just... I thought I'd be happier, I guess. Now that it's all over."

Kira reached forward, brushing her hand over his. "That's what this is all about?" she asked. "You aren't happy?"

"I never said I'm not," Julian objected hotly, looking back up at her -- but a sigh slipped out of him as he realised he didn't actually have an argument, and he shook his head, slumping back into his chair. Kira watched him, not saying anything.

"No, you're right," he admitted, pulling his arms across himself, almost too tight. "I know I'm supposed to be-- I know, after everything, it's so stupid... But, Nerys, I don't-- I don't think I am?"

Stopping to swallow the lump that had risen in his throat, he noticed he eyes had grown wet, which for some reason made him chuckle. "Isn't that silly?" he asked, leaning forward again. "We won the war, but I'm still not happy."

"No, Julian," Kira replied slowly. "I don't think that's silly at all. It's just... It's just very, very sad." She took a breath, reaching out to hold both his hands this time. "I'm sorry," she continued. "I didn't know."

"It's not your fault," he said, squeezing her hands tightly. "For a while, I just thought everyone else was pretending, too, so I just went along with it... And then I started to realise that no, you were all actually at least a little bit okay, and so I had to keep pretending, because happiness is so fragile and I didn't, you know, want to make anyone else feel bad just because I..."

He trailed off, shrugging a little. "I don't know, Nerys. I guess I just wanted to check that it wasn't just me, but it is just me, and now I've told you, and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel bad--"

"Julian, no," Kira interrupted. "Thank you for sharing this with me -- I'm glad you told me, okay?"

Ears growing hot, Julian ducked his head, not quite sure to do with the wave of emotion spilling over him. Now that he'd told her some of it, he kind of wanted to let everything out. Distractedly, he started tracing patterns on her hands, pushing into them with increasing intensity.

"It's just-- I'm just..." He stumbled over his words, struggling to give voice to the one thought that he'd been trying to ignore for months. "What if this is it for me? What if I'm like this forever? It's been years, Nerys--"

To his horror, his voice cracked, and he covered his mouth, trying to hold back the sobs that were threatening to burst out. Hoping that no-one else had noticed, he looked around the replimat; thankfully the other diners seemed more interested in their own conversations than in him and Kira.

"Would you like to go somewhere less public?" Kira asked. Not quite trusting himself to speak, he nodded, and together they left the replimat.

As they walked down the promenade and up to the habitat ring, Kira steered clear of their previous conversation, chatting about the station, her week, her latest grievance with Quark, and Julian was grateful for the respite. But as soon as they were sat down in her quarters, she turned to him with a most serious expression.

"It isn't right, you feeling like that, you know," she said. "I don't have the answers, I don't know how it gets better -- but we both know someone who would. You haven't tried telling Ezri any of this, have you?"

Julian's stomach tightened: Ezri was the last person he wanted to have this particular conversation with. "Oh, yes, because that would go so well," he retorted sarcastically. "Hi Ezri, I love you, but you don't make me happy. Don't worry, it's not you, I'm just unhappy most of the time. Most of the time? Yeah, it gets better when I'm around you, because then I just kind of feel... nothing. What an improvement!"

"Julian..." whispered Kira, but it was all coming out now and Julian couldn't make it stop. He rose from the sofa, starting to pace as he spoke.

"Did you ever make me happy? Maybe, sweetheart, but I'm not even certain of that. I might have been so desperate for anything even resembling happiness that I just deluded myself into thinking I was in love... Do I even love you? Who the fuck knows, Ezri. Is love even real, or did it die in the war along with every-fucking-thing else?"

His voice had risen louder than he'd intended, condemning him with every word it pushed forcefully into the air. He'd made Kira cry, he thought, but he couldn't quite be sure, his vision being clouded by his own mess of tears.

"How could I possibly tell her that?" he asked, sitting back down heavily, his voice dropping to a hollow whisper. "Kira, how the hell do I tell her that?"

"Come here," she said in way of a response, pulling him against her and holding him tightly, so that he could feel her lips move against his hair as she answered him. "I don't know," she was saying, "but you have to, Julian. I can be there with you if you want but, Prophets, Julian, you have to. How could you not?"

How could he not?

Julian closed his eyes and let himself fall apart against his friend, not even bothering to try to answer her. It was terrifying, after all this time, to finally allow someone to see how broken he really was, but he was far, far too tired to keep it in any longer.

#Julian Bashir #Kira Nerys #Andi writes #DS9 fanfic #weirdly I feel like I've written something along these lines before?#but i can't actually remember doing so?#it might be because all my stuff ends up sounding like this lol i'm such a cliche :P #anyway as ever this wasn't planned it just happened #the past few days there have been like 4 things that have come up in my brain as a little whatsit to just do #i almost started a julian and sisko talk about jadzia during baseball one yesterday #but today i ended up starting to write a song #(i don't miss the war -- but i do miss you)#and then this happened because i can't share the song (yet) but i can share this #wsb

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writtenbyan-aries · 1 year ago

Text

Sam originally won the poll, but I got carried away with a Dealer!Zach Justice one which you can find right here.. so now onto Dealer!Sam. Enjoy!

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, Dealer!Sam, mentions of smoking weed and cigarettes, mentions of drinking, reader is slightly drunk, reader gets high, reader gets cheated on, unprotected sex, biting, scratching, hair pulling, choking, oral (f rec), fingering, creampie, filth

Word count: 3.5k | not edited

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

The music was blasting through the club.

You could feel the bass beating within your body each time it thumped out of the speakers.

You were having so much fun.

Key word, were.

As the song changes, you look down at your empty cup, deciding to make your way to the liquor counter, it occurs to you that you haven’t seen your friends in like four songs.

After grabbing your drink your spot Kira. You raise your hand, waving to her and you watch as her eyes go wide and she smiles.

“There she is.” She mouths, pointing towards you. You continue to make your way over when you’re met with them halfway, “Where’s Twyla?”

Kira and Leah look at each other, “She went to the bathroom, she isn’t feeling well.”

You pout slightly, sucking your drink through your straw, “Oh no. It’s her birthday.” Leah nods, “No I know. I think if she pukes a little, she’ll be fine.”

She laughs and you shrug, “Have any of you seen Clayton or any of his friends?”

You feel the energy in the room shift, almost like they didn’t expect you to ask about your own boyfriend.

“What?” You look between them confused before letting out a sigh. You look up, “Oh. There’s Tyler.” You push through them and even though they try to stop you, you pull your arm away.

You walk around the crowed of people and before you can ask Tyler anything, your gaze falls to Twyla making out with Clayton while sitting in his lap.

“What the fuck.” You watch as they snap apart and Kira runs up, “We tried to keep her busy.”

“Wait.” You look at Kira, “You two.. you.. you’re defending her? Supporting this?” You scoff in disgust, “I’m done. I don’t know what kind of friendships and relationships you guys have but I don’t want any fucking part of it.”

You drop your cup on the floor, spilling it over the so called friend’s feet and walk away.

As you walk out of the building, you dig around in your purse to try and find your lighter. You continue to ignore your name being called from behind as you bring the cigarette and lighter up.

You round the corner, taking a long drag as rest your back against the brick wall.

You just needed to take a second to figure out what the fuck you were going to do.

As you keep walking, looking at the semi blurred lights from the cars that pass by and the street lights you walk under, you get a good idea.

You pull out your phone, going to a specific contact, hey Sam are home by chance?

A few minutes goes by and he texts you back, yeah, you need your usual?

You hold the cigarette between your lips as you type, no I’m having a shitty night so I’m just looking for something for me.

He responds right away, I’ll leave the door unlocked, I have to pack a few things, so just come in.

You flick the done cigarette as you cross the road to make your way to Sam’s.

——

You push the door to Sam’s house open, “Sam?” You walk in, closing the door, “I’m here.”

“In the den, sweetheart.”

You smile at the nickname as you kick off your heels.

You walk in towards the living room to get to the back den, “Hey.” You walk in, seeing Sam laid out on a giant white bean bag chair as he packs weed into small baggies, “What’s goin’ on?”

You shake your head, sitting down in the gaming chair infront of the desk, “Well..” you laugh slightly, “My boyfriend cheated on me. With the girl who was said to be my best friend.”

Sam’s mouth drops and he shakes his head, “What the fuck is wrong with people?” He frowns, “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

You half frown, “It’s okay. I’m now starting to realize how much of jerk he was said to be.” Sam raises his brows and looks down, “Yeah, love will fuck you up more than any drug ever will. Come over here.”

You look at him and he looks up, nodding for you to come over to him. You walk over, sitting down on the beanbag next to him, hands in your lap, “I’m here.”

Sam reaches down, and comes back with a joint, “This is a new strain I literally just got in. Haven’t sold it yet, but it sounds like you could really use it.”

You smile as you take it from his fingers, “Do you let all of your customers try out the new ones?”

He smirks slightly, “I mean Colby, but other than that.” He shakes his head, “Never really let anyone close enough to.”

You didn’t really know what Sam meant by that, but you would soon figure it out.

After taking turns hitting the joint - Sam really was right. You did need this, “Can I ask you a question?” You turn your head, looking at him as he turns his towards you.

Your eyes scan over his face, taking in his red eyes behind the clear frame of his thin, gold framed glasses.

And how his blonde, fluffy hair pokes out from under his bright pink sweatshirt that’s being lit brighter from the bluish purple LED lights.

Your heart was racing, you wanted to kiss him.

“Y/n?” Sam laughs slightly, “You’re here, but you’re not here. Where’d you go?”

You blink a few times and shake your head, “Sorry.” You giggle out, “I’m actually feeling pretty good right now, I think the alcohol in my system prior helped.”

“If you were drinking, how did you get here?” Sam asks, concern in his tone.

“I walked. I was only two blocks over.” You look back over at him and he sighs, “If I would have known, I would have came and got you.”

You smile slightly and shake your head, “I sobered up a little once I seen why I left, you know?”

He nods and you lay a hand on his arm, laughing, “I’m fine, I’m here aren’t I?” You laugh some more and Sam laughs with you, glancing down at your hand on his arm with a slight smile, “Yeah, no I get ya.”

He lays his head back and looks at you, “So anyway, you wanted to ask me something.”

You look at him confused while you think, “Oh! Yeah, yeah.”

You move around slightly so you can turn towards him more, “Do you remember the first, time I came to buy off of you?”

Sam smirks, nodding immediately, “I do. You were wearing those high waisted jeans and that cropped grey sweatshirt.” He chuckles slightly, “I remember seeing you pull that hundred dollar bill out of your little white cross body purse.”

You laugh, “I thought maybe you would have cut me a good deal if you seen how pretty I was.”

He looks over at you, “If I knew it was for you and not your douchebag boyfriend at the time.”

“No I understand.” You lift your arm, resting your elbow on the top of the beanbag and resting your cheek in the palm of your hand, “Do you remember the text you sent me after I left?”

“I was so nervous.”

“I could tell.” You smirk, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth, “what was it?” You tease, “I don’t say this often but you’re too pretty to be buying drugs?”

Sam smiles huge and covers his face, “Oh no.” He looks at you through his fingers and tries not to laugh, “This is why..” he sighs, “Y/n.”

“This why what? Sam.”

You groans playfully and pulls his hands away from his face, “Don’t tell anyone that I’m nice and shit.”

You smile, “What happens at Sam’s house, stays at Sam’s house.”

He smirks, “That’s the motto.”

You laugh slightly and stare at him for a few seconds, “Why’d you keep selling to me then?”

Sam looks over at you, brows furrowed, “Whatcha mean, sweetheart?” You bring your one leg up and tuck it under your other.

You keep your thighs pushed together, but that doesn’t stop Sam from noticing your drive riding up your fishnet covered thighs.

“Like, I mean.. stop me if I’m reading too much into it, please.. but at the same time, if you said I was too pretty to buy your drugs, why did you..” you shake your head and look over at him.

He chews on his lip as he sits up, “Because I was afraid I wouldn’t ever see you again.”

Your eyes bounce from his lips to his eyes, “You had my number.” You smirk slightly and he shrugs, “You had a boyfriend.”

You both stare at each other for a few seconds before both bursting into laughter.

“Do you care if I hang out here a little bit longer?” You ask and Sam shakes his head, “Stay the night if you want.”

You smile slightly, “Only if y-“

Sam cuts you off, “Sweetheart, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hang out with you. So please, it’s not any burden to me. I swear.”

He chuckles and you nod, laughing nervously, “I’ve.. actually wanted to hang out with you, too. So I’m glad you were free tonight.”

Sam shrugs, “I would have made myself free either way.” He stands up and nods towards the door, “I’ll get you something to change in to.”

You stand up, following him upstairs to his bedroom.

As Sam rummages through his dresser, you bend down to reach up under your dress and pull your fishnets down.

You step out of them as Sam turns around, freezing as he watches you step out of them and stand back up.

Your eyes meet his and you smile slightly, “Sorry, I had to get these things off.”

He shakes his head, handing you the shirt and pants, “You’re fine, um.” He chuckles, “Pants are totally optional in his house, so just, feel free to make yourself at home.”

He winks and you smirk, “I’ll keep that in mind.” You point to your dress, “Can you unzip me?”

He nods and you turn around. You couldn’t lie, you were turned on by his touch.

His hand gently laid on your hip as he used his other to drag the tiny zipper down your back, “There you go.”

He steps back and you turn, hand holding the dress to your chest, “Thank you.”

Sam motions to the door, clearly stalling, “So, I’m going to, uh. Go back down stairs.” He claps his hands together and steps towards the door, “Roll, um, I’ll roll another one.”

You nod, “Sounds good.” You drag out, chewing on your lip.

It’s quiet for a few seconds, and then everything happens so fast.

Sam has your dress pushed down, pooling at your feet before he pushes you back on the bed. His lips trailing down your neck as his hand slides up and down your body.

You let out a moan as you feel his hand knead and pull at your boob, “Sam.” You breathe out, “P-please.”

Your head was already spinning, you were anxious for how you were going to feel after.

“Can I taste what you have between those pretty little legs of yours?”

You whimper in response, “Yes.”

Sam moves down the bed, lips connecting with your skin, “You’re so beautiful.” He doesn’t even take the time to pull your panties down, he just pushes them to the side and goes in for it.

You gasp, arching your back off the bed, “Oh fuck.” You moan out loudly, hand moving to the back of his head as his tongue moves in and out of your aching cunt.

“F-fuck fuck.” You look down, taking in the sight of Sam between your legs.

Every time you’ve seen him, you couldn’t help but have at least a dirty thought or two.

“Holy shit.” Sam groans against you, “You taste so fucking good.” His hands grip your hips harder and pull you towards him, pinning them down as he moves up to suck on your clit.

You throw your head back whining, eyes rolling back as his tongue flicks over the sensitive bundle of nerves between his lips.

You were so close already and Sam pushing two fingers into you was getting you there faster and faster.

“Sam, Sam. Sam.” You gasp out, “Shh-shit.”

You pull his head into you more, trying to move your hips, even though you really can’t. Sam groans against you, his fingers rubbing that perfect little spot that’s urging you to cum for him.

“I-I-“ You let out a loud moans legs squeezing as far as they’ll go. Sam guides you through your high, lifting his head, “Such a good girl.”

You moan louder at his words and he raises a brow, “Mm, someone has a little praise kink I see.”

You open your eyes, looking up at Sam as he crawls up your body. He dips his head down, lips brushing against yours, “You are so fucking hot.”

You smirk, closing your eyes as his lips press to yours, moving in sync. Your arms slide around his neck and you pull on his sweatshirt.

He sits up, taking his glasses off and setting them on the stand before removing his sweatshirt. Your hands run down his torso and he bites his lip when you hook your fingers into his waist band.

Your eyes move up to meet his and you pout, “Please fuck me.”

Sam’s lips twitch into a smile as he pushes down his sweats and boxers in one swoop. He leans down, elbows by your head as he hooks your leg over his hip, “You sure you w-“

You cut him off by crashing your lips into his, “I need you.” You grind your hips down, trying to feel for his cock, “Please.”

He leans his weight into his right arm, leaning down to slip the head of his cock between your folds. Your legs tighten around his waist and he smirks, thrusting his cock the rest of the way into you.

You let out a choked moan, tangling your fingers in his hair and pulling.

Your head was spinning more, another orgasm and you swear you’d pass out.

“S-Sam.” You breathe out, “Fuckfuckfuck.”

Your nails dig into his shoulder, earning a groan from him and you gasp, turning your head to press your lips to his.

He moans against your lips, “You were..” he groans, leaning back as he thrusts deep into you, “..Made for me.”

You squeeze your walls around his cock, pulling him closer to you, “I always knew there was something about you.”

You lay a hand on his cheek, furrowing your brows as you moan out, feeling that build up slowly grow, “You’re just, so different.”

“You’re are so beautiful.” He breathes out, crashing his lips onto yours. His thrusts grow faster and his hand slides up to grip your neck, squeezing slowly as he leans his head back.

He watches as your face twists with pleasure.

Your eyes roll back as you grow more dizzy.

“Cum for me, one for time, baby.” Sam whispers, “Please.” His lips attach to your neck and you moan, squeezing his cock with your walls repeatedly,

You arch your back, moans muffled by Sam’s hand on your neck as you cum around him.

You whimper, rolling your hips as you and Sam work your way through your high, low groans escaping his lips as he moves his hand to kiss up to your lips.

“You have me so close, baby. Where do you want me?”

You tighten your legs, voice coming out in a soft wimper, “D-don’t stop.”

He smirks, shaking his head, “Once I do it, I don’t think I’d be able to stop.”

“That’s fine with me.” You bite down on your lip and Sam nods, “You asked for it.” He pulls out, “Flip over for me, sweetheart.”

You roll over onto your stomach and Sam lifts your hips, and within seconds after, his cock was deeper than it was before.

You were going to lose your mind.

Sam’s hands rub over your hips, “Doing so good for me, baby.”

You push your hips back, moaning at his words, “Fuckfuck, Sam.” You grip the sheets and pull, moaning even louder as Sam’s fingers drag down go rub your clit.

Your walls clench around his cock and he groans, “Got one more in ya, sweetheart?” He throws his head back, using both hands to grip tightly into your hips, “Fuck, cum with me. Cum with me.”

He leans down, planting a few kisses on your shoulder before sliding a hand up to your neck, gently squeezing.

You bring a hand up, laying it on top of his hand and he squeezes harder.

Your moans are growing quieter the harder his grip gets. Your eyes roll back and you can’t help but throw your hips back to meet Sam’s.

Your jaw hung slack as the fucked out euphoria feeling settles in.

Your hand drops to the bed and the band in your belly snaps yet again, leaving you there, moaning silently as your walls milk Sam’s cum into your cunt.

Sam’s hand falls from your neck and his lips press to your cheek, “Are you okay?”

You giggle weakly, “I’m.. great..”

He smirks and looks over his shoulder as he hears the door bell rings and knocking on the door, “What the fuck?”

He look down at you, “If you can get dressed, please do, but if not, just stay here.” You slowly sit up, worry settling in, “Okay. I won’t go anywhere.”

Sam leaves, closing the door behind him.

You get up, slipping on the shirt Sam gave you and fixing your panties before walking to the door. You crack it open and hear Sam let out a laugh, “Dude, I don’t know what to tell you. She isn’t here.”

You hear Clayton groan, “I’m serious man, just-“

“No. I’m not selling you anything, y/n isn’t here. Buh bye.”

“Why the fuck did you sell them to her and not me?” Clayton argues and you bite your lip as you wait for Sam’s response.

“Because, I actually wanted to keep seeing her, she’s quite pretty. Maybe I should give her a call now that, I’m guessing you two are done for, huh?”

You hear a loud thud, maybe a lamp being knocked over, and you open the door more. You walk over to the steps and bend down.

You’re able to see Sam holding Clayton up against the wall and he’s inches from his face, “Maybe don’t go kissing your girlfriend’s best friend and you wouldn’t be in this situation, right?”

“How do you know about that?” Clayton asks lowly and Sam smirks, shrugging his shoulders, “Maybe she stopped by on her way home to grab some weed, maybe she didn’t.”

You bite your lip, seeing Sam stick up for you like this, was so fucking hot.

“You fucked her, didn’t you?” Clayton asks with a scoff, “of course.”

Sam rolls his eyes, “Now you’re calling her a slut.. alright.” He moves Clayton towards the door and spins him to look at him, “You ever try to speak or get in contact with y/n again, I’ll make a little phone call to officer Ziebler down at the- um. Shoot, what is it?”

Sam look up at Clayton, “Oh, yeah, the Adult Probation office.”

You cover your lips and Clayton shakes his head, “How do you know about that?”

Sam shrugs, “I have my ways, now, as I said when you got here, buh bye.” He pushes him out and closes the door.

You walk down the steps and Sam turns, stopping with a smirk, “You don’t listen, do you?”

“Actually.” You walk over to him, “I listened to that whole thing so..” you purse your lips, fighting back a smirk, “That’s gotta count for somethin’ right?”

He chuckles, pulling you in for a kiss, “C’mon. I’ll roll us another J.” He wraps your arm around your waist, “Because after that, I need one.”

“Well you know what they say.” You laugh, glancing up at him. He smirks, “And what’s that, babe?”

“A joint.. or three.. a day keeps the bad mood away.”

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

I hope this was good, let me know what you think! Thank you for reading! I love you all so much!🖤

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

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barblaz-arts · 1 year ago

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HELLOOO!! Im in LOVE with all your Chaggie (and Wenclair obv-) art!! I was wondering if youd be up to share your thoughts on the other hazbin characters? Simply cuz Im very curious and youve been a favourite content creator of mine for a while whose opinions and takes on different things i value A LOT! So id love to hear your thoughts on the rest of the main cast(and more if youre up to it hahha)!

@phantoswordsman15

The main cast huh

Hmmmmm I dont particularly hate them, but I have some opinions that people might not like and I'm aware there's a lot of uh sensitive people in this fandom, so I never said them unprompted

But since you asked!

Alastor

Let's start with the infamous Alastor. I think he's a very entertaining character! His horde of simps annoy tf outta me when they're being misogynistic and homophobic towards Chaggie and Vaggie, but I quite liked him when I make myself forget certain parts of the fandom. He's funny and conniving and intriguing. The fact that he apparently sold his soul is super interesting to me. I'm on board with the people theorizing that he sold his soul to Lilith. I bet he's cozying up with Charlie so that he can use it to break his contract somehow. Feel like he also used the deal with (presumably) Lilith so that he could be strong enough to be the overlord he became.

With that being said, I'm really surprised with the direction they took with him. You'd think that with him being a favorite of the showrunner and the fandom, he would probably be portrayed as the coolest mf in hell. But I really like that it isn't really the case within the show. Certain denizens dont even know him and older overlords like Zestial seems to scare him and Carmilla just dgaf about him. Hell, Alastor's loss to Adam was a lil embarrassing ngl. Like. I know he's one of the oldest human souls and that's why he's powerful but... It's Adam.

Something about him that I noticed is that he seems to be more bark than bite. In particular in his duet with Lucifer, initially Lucifer had the upper hand because he's objectively more powerful, humiliating Alastor with his angel magic, but what Alastor used to his advantage was his words and charisma, as can be expected of a radio host. He's always taunting his enemies, but does it actually make him stronger than them? He "won" that duet with Vox but Valentino said Alastor only"almost beat" him when they had an actual fight. He ruffled Lucifer's feathers but at the end of the day Lucifer is still leagues more powerful than him. He talked big when he was fighting Adam but he almost died and had a breakdown over it.

He's really a lot less "cool" than I expected the show would have him be portrayed as. Kinda pathetic honestly, how he's so insecure and angry whenever he isn't the strongest guy in the room. And i actually really like that! He reminds me a lot of Rumplestilstkin from Once Upon a Time.

Something I kinda hesitate to say tho is... I dont want him redeemed. I dont want him to actually care about the hotel crew and change his ways. I like him as the fucked up man he is and really want to see how fucked up he can be, just so that if he ends up being the huge antagonist, his downfall would be all the more satisfying. Like yunno that moment when Light/Kira was finally defeated? I wanna feel that again.

Angel Dust

I love him! We found his dialogue a lil annoying at first in ep 1 but the writers did a lot better in ep 2. He's a neat guy. His character gives interesting implications for me as to what makes a person a sinner in this show. While you have people like Alastor who obviously ended up where they did because a cannibal murderer, I get the feeling Angel ended up in hell because he was abusing his own body, which is a sad thing to think. If I remember right from my own catholic upbringing, abusing the body is considered a sin because your body is a temple. To think that Angel could be in hell for poisoning himself, not for harming others, is just sad man. I look forward to seeing more of his journey.

I'm not touching on how his SA was tackled btw. While I'm a victim of sexual assault myself, what i experienced was far from what Angel does on a REGULAR basis,so I don't feel like i have any personal or professional right to say anything about it. Not every victim's case is universal anyways. All I can say is, his line about purposefully damaging himself so he could be broken enough to no longer be Valentino's "favorite toy" hit me harder than I ever expected this show to.

Husk

Confession: I... I dont feel all that attached to Husk at all, I am so sorry Husk stans 😭

Okok that feels so mean to say I'm so sorry. I actually hesitated to say anything because I dont want to hurt people's feelings. But since you guys are asking and I dont like not being genuine, I'm telling the truth.

A lot of my feelings about Husk is heavily affected by the fandom anyways to be perfectly fair. Why? Because a lot of criticisms against Vaggie is easily applicable to Husk, maybe even more so, and yet I dont see even the same level of hate towards him that Vaggie received because his chemistry with Angel is so much better than Chaggie... Apparently...

I just dont see Husk as a character outside of being a plot device for Angel's development yunno? I get it, he isn't a main character like the main 4 are(Charlie, Vaggie, Alastor, and Angel), i just find it hard to well and truly like him because of the fandom's double standards. When we found out someone was gonna die in the finale, my brother and I actually thought it was gonna be him because he doesn't have a big enough role to play in the plot to be a HUGE loss, but has a significant enough connection to a main character to have an EFFECT. He very much just felt like the love interest for Angel and nothing else. Which isnt necessarily a bad thing, but is frustrating when i see sooo many people label Vaggie as such(when she isnt!) and hate her SO MUCH for it.

I wanna see more of him tho I really do. Like the man used to be an overlord. He said he wanted to find someone who could relate to "the gruesome ways in which he's damaged" but what does that even mean? Yes i know about the castration but aside from that what suffering is Alastor putting him thru when all he has to do is be a bartender rn? There must be more and I wanna see it and finally feel for him.

Nifty

I love her a lot. That's it. The character ever. Her gremlin energy reminded me so much of Peridot, it's great. Kimiko Glenn did a fantastic job as the comic relief character and I hope she gets her own song next season. Her basically being everyone's little sister was kinda adorable even tho she's probably the scariest person in that hotel next to Alastor. I hope she gets to stab Valentino next. Just kill that MOTHerfucker

#asks #hazbin hotel

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scribeoffate · 2 months ago

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What are your favorite teen wolf headcanons?

I love this question! Thank you! Also sorry not sorry I have a ton of little weird head canons. <3

Mason Hewitt comes from a huge family, he’s the youngest of eleven kids. His mom and dad have really good well-paying jobs and also loads of time for their kids.

Malia protected Lydia during her night in the woods in s2. Just wrapped her little coyote self around this helpless human.

Harley, Scott and Stiles were a trio as a kids. And a really chaotic one that made loads of people crazy. Theo hovered at the edge of that trio for all of fourth grade.

Hunters do a lot of adopting/acquiring, especially for the men. The way Gerard is like: "I would kill my own son" and the way Chris looks at him has always made me think Chris was not really his son. I also think hunters foster their kids out and Chris spent some time being trained/raised by Araya and that's why they have a relationship before s4.

Deucalion is independently wealthy as heck. Like so much money he could never spend it all.

Lydia's powers manifested in many ways pre-canon. That's why her dad asks about her in the way he does in the s1 teacher conference. He's convinced its happening again, much like it happened with his mother. We also see her drawn to her grandmother's death in the flashback. Lydia is smart enough to learn early on that it's best *not* to be different and has been unconsciously suppressing her powers for ages before Peter forces them into the open.

Stolen from @spikeface: Alan Deaton is a proud cat Dad who takes tons of videos of his babies and shares them with Scott constantly.

Melissa inherited the house she and Scott live in.

Claudia and Melissa were friends. They were thrilled when their own sons became attached at the hip.

Danny and Kira are cousins.

Kira comes back!! She comes back and goes to Japan with Liam and HIkari. She and Hikari are really good friends and she keeps in contact with everyone else, too.

Satomi was bitten during the 1918 influenza pandemic and came to the States shortly after.

Kali and Jennifer had a romantic relationship. (is this a head canon? It seems v implied to me.) Coach Finstock is supernatural, somehow and has a rivalry with the notigtsune that he does not remember. But it's why he specifically takes an arrow.

Noshiko and Satomi become friends after the events of the Fox and Wolf and keep in touch.

Allison and Jackson speak frequently after he moves to London and he's devastated when Scott has to make that phone call after she dies.

Paige worked for Dr. Deaton at the animal clinic.

Cora becomes an alpha in South America.

Corey and Mason get married.

Alicia Boyd and Tara Raeken were friends in school.

Ken has won numerous chili cook-offs and is a reigning champion in the chili cook off circuit.

Scott speaks some Spanish. Enough to know when his dad is saying bullshit and to speak with his grandma.

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obitoslover · 10 months ago

Text

Death Note x Naruto has taken over my brain these days, so I did another au (inspired by a friend's psychoanalysis on Madara who made me like bipolar Madara hc)

Basically, Madara take Light Yagami's place as Kira, killing criminals. One of the differences, tho, is that he doesn't wanna be acknowledged, since it would make his objective a lot harder

Kaguya is the shinigami, yey!! Should've I used Black Zetsu due to his nonhuman look? Yes, but I wanted to make Kaguya with a Samara from The Ring aspect + Kaguya is the mind behind Zetsu in anime + I like her better = Kaguya won

ANYWAY!!! Some lore points I have for now:

— Izuna takes Misa's place, bc he wants to help his brother getting rid of all the bad people; he seems somewhat more excited/engaged for this whole "new world's god" thing than Madara tho

Unlike Misa, he doesn't have the shinigami eyes, since Madara doesn't want his younger brother to take half of his lifespan away, especially when he already got it. Idk if Izuna has his own death note, so maybe he helps his bro in some other way (like the Oracle from DC vibes?)

— Madara wrote Tobirama's name as a "test" to see if the notebook was true. Why? Because that's his brother's ex who broke up horribly with him so why not (they realized they don't know where he is, so they couldn't possibly know if it work. two dummies)

— L is Tobirama... in the sense of who's against Kira, not who's the detective

"But he's dead way before Kira's mass killing was recognized as someone's doing, how is that possible??" you may ask, and I say

"Tobirama" is a fake name

See, l like mad scientist Tobirama and it's variations, so I needed to put this here. He's a criminal who never got caught, a really secretive one about his personal life, so most of the time he's using a fake identity to prevent people to keep a track on him; so it means Izuna didn't know his actual name and gave the fake one to Madara

"Tobirama" was one of the first people to realize all those deaths were induced by someone, so, in order to prevent his possible death in case he's caught, he started to hunt who could be Kira

— "Tobirama" is Hashirama's brother. He dyes his hair and wear eye contacts (and other things too like, idk, different clothing, some light make up to give a different look on his face) while undercover, so he can take a double life

You can't even imagine Madara's surprise when he finally realize his friend's brother and "Tobirama" are the same person

(I wanna make Itama = Tobirama, with his white hair + red eyes combo being his undercover while he has natural colors in his actual appearance, but I'm still deciding how confusing and cool it could be)

— Near and Mello aren't related to L in the slightest. I haven't decided yet who they could be (Maybe Kakashi=Near and Obito=Mello), but they would still be really close to the government and be, indeed, detective prodigies

Maybe they're chasing Kira at the same time as L? If I decide so, it would make Madara's life way harder, since it's both a criminal (with other criminals' contacts and accessibilities) and the government (two people above it, tbh) against him..... nah, he'd be caught way earlier, I need fun

#madara uchiha #izuna uchiha #tobirama senju #hashirama senju #naruto fanart #death note #naruto au

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couldtheycatchkira · 5 months ago

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Hey!! Your blog is very good and fun. I'm wondering if you have any characters that have gotten the highest percentage in the 'could catch Kira, would not survive' category. It's almost always the lowest and I really want to know if it's ever won.

((By my own memory, about twenty have won that category. Notably, L.))

#Ask #fearless-seagull

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dlscenarios · 2 years ago

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Thief - Akira Kurusu/Ren Amamiya x Reader | Persona 5

I have started pretty much EVERY format P5R comes in & I have finished NONE of them—

Things started getting weird when the infamous transfer student came to Shujin. He was the talk of the school. Everyone would whisper about how he's a criminal, how he "definitely killed someone", that he was "involved in drug deals."

When he walked into your homeroom class, you couldn't pull your eyes away from him. He didn't look like someone that would commit crimes.

Soon after, word got around that he and renowned troublemaker, Ryuji Sakamoto, had gotten in trouble with Kamoshida. Days later, a bright red card was plastered across the school. You took one off of the board and read it.

The note stated that whomever wrote it knew of Kamoshida's crimes and would make him pay for his sins. Putting the card into your bag, you walked away only to notice the transfer student, Ryuji, and Ann Takamaki whispering to each other. You sped away before they could notice you.

Everyone knew Kamoshida was evil, but the day he burst into the gym and confessed caught everyone off guard. This started talk of the "Phantom Thieves" being real.

Before leaving the gym, you approached the group of misfits, tapping the transfer student's shoulder. You asked him to meet you on the roof after school, which he agreed to.

You paced the roof in circles until the boy came through the door. After exchanging hellos, the two of you sat at the group of desks.

"We haven't officially met yet. My name's Y/N." You started, fidgeting with your fingers.

"I'm Akira. Nice to meet you." He gave you such a sweet smile. It was hard to believe this was the guy students were weary of. "I have a feeling you didn't want to meet here for just introductions, right?"

You shook your head, "No. It's about Kamoshida."

Akira perked up, adjusting in his seat before nodding for you to continue.

"Those cards from the other day. Signed the 'Phantom Thieves of Hearts'. Were they from you? I saw you, Ryuji and Ann talking close by. Plus, word is that Kamoshida wanted to expel you right before those cards showed up," You paused to pull out the calling card you had in your bag, "It says that they will make him confess his sins. The next day, he didn't show up to school and then today, he confessed to everything."

"Maybe the timing was just a coincidence." Akira responded, briefly glancing at the card.

"But it's suspicious! You showed up and it was like Shujin got flipped upside down! Kamoshida's been abusing students for years and if anyone opposed him, he ALWAYS won. Then you came and, magically, Kamoshida crumbles. It's too strange to be a coincidence."

Akira smirked.

"What if I WAS involved? You didn't want Kamoshida to stay the way he was, did you?"

You jumped out of your seat, "Of course not! I'm glad he's getting locked up! But...if you ARE a part of the Phantom Thieves, I won't tell anyone. I'm your ally."

Akira stood. "In that case," he gently placed his hand on your head, "Glad to have you on our side, Y/N."

You turned your head, "Yeah yeah. Just let me know if there's anything I can do to help you guys."

After that rooftop encounter, you grew closer to Akira, Ann and Ryuji. You even grabbed the attention of Mishima, who asked if you could assist him with his Phantom Thieves website. You were there to greet the new thieves as they joined the squad. Akira had even asked you to hang out with him one-on-one numerous times.

Slowly but surely, you've begun to consider the band of misfits your friends.

One night, you were at Leblanc after Akira called, wanting you to try the coffee he'd learned to make.

You sipped, careful not to burn your tongue, and hummed. "It's delicious. You're getting better at this, 'Kira."

The black-haired boy smirked, dramatically posing.

"Guess you could say I've stolen your tastebuds."

You burst into laughter, grabbing onto the bar as to not fall off of the stool.

"That is the dumbest thing you've ever said to me!" You took a breath, trying to steady your voice, "Aren't criminals supposed to be sly?"

Akira shrugged, "Maybe I'm just special."

You rolled your eyes. "Yeah, maybe you are."

The thief leaned on the counter, looking at you with a soft gaze.

"You're special too, you know?"

"How?"

"Let's see. You were the first person to know we were the Phantom Thieves, you are willingly helping us even though it's dangerous, and you-" He gently booped your nose, "-are the cutest person I've ever met."

"Mmh." You leaned on your arm, ignoring the heat rising to your cheeks. "You're cuter. Do you know how many students say you're the hottest criminal they've ever seen?"

Akira lowered himself to your level, looking into your eyes. "They don't have a chance with me though. I've already got someone I'm interested in."

"And who is that?"

"You." Akira rose to place a kiss to your head before walking away, taking off his apron. You buried your face in your arms.

Suddenly, you perked up and called out to Akira.

"Maybe you ARE a thief, because you've stolen my heart!"

#joker persona 5 #persona 5 x reader #persona x reader #persona 5 #persona 5 royal #akira kurusu x reader #kurusu akira #akira kurusu #amamiya ren #ren amamiya #joker p5 #p5 #p5r #p5 royal #p5 joker

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dioslesbianwife · 3 months ago

Note

I’m fighting a nasty cold right now and my throat hurts real bad so could you write about the jofoes being sick/taking care of someone being sick? 😭

—🐠

Omg im so sorry you’re feeling sick 🐠 , literally multiple of my professors, my dad, and two friends just got sick too 😭. Get well soon! <33 here are the HCs!

Sick day headcannons for jojo villains :0

Dio

Being sick: Dio’s pride makes him utterly intolerable when ill. He refuses to admit weakness and insists he's fine, even if he can barely sit up. His temper flares if anyone suggests he rest, though deep down, he secretly appreciates your concern.

Taking care of you: Surprisingly attentive. Lowkey enjoys the power dynamic of being the one in control while you’re vulnerable. He’s meticulous in caring for you, feeding you rich, revitalizing meals and tucking you in with silk blankets. "You're fortunate I care enough to look after you."

Esidisi

Being sick: Esidisi has little patience for being sick and becomes irritable. He groans and complains about every ache and fever but recovers very quickly- to the point it almost seems like he fast forwarded through the illness.

Taking care of you: Surprisingly nurturing, though a bit overbearing. He insists on keeping you near and warm and feeds you hearty soups, practically forcing you to eat. "You're going to recover, understand?"

Wamuu

Being sick: Wamuu treats sickness like a battle to be won. He rests only when absolutely necessary and views recovery as a test of his strength. He will sometimes work a little harder than he should.

Taking care of you: Incredibly attentive and gentle. He ensures you're comfortable and hydrated, watching over you silently like a guardian. "Rest. I will protect you from any disturbance." He’ll follow up on that too, not letting anyone bother you.

Kars

Being sick: Kars hates anything that diminishes his perfection. He isolates himself until he's fully recovered, refusing to be seen in this weakened state.

Taking care of you: He approaches it scientifically, carefully preparing remedies and monitoring your condition. He offers soothing reassurances. "Your strength will return soon. Trust me."

Kira

Being sick: Kira follows a strict routine for recovery, isolating himself to avoid appearing unkempt. He drinks precise amounts of herbal tea and takes measured doses of medicine. He despises mess, so tissues and clutter are immediately disposed of.

Taking care of you: He's methodical and gentle, ensuring you rest in a clean, orderly environment. He prepares tea and checks your temperature frequently, though he fusses over keeping everything spotless. "Just… rest…I'll handle everything."

Diavolo

Being sick: Diavolo is paranoid when ill, fearing vulnerability. He isolates himself and becomes hostile toward anyone who tries to approach. Only Doppio (and the reader if yall are close) is allowed to see him. Fast forwards through coughs and sneezes.

Taking care of you: Reluctantly caring but fiercely protective. He checks on you frequently, though his anxiety makes him erratic. "If anyone disturbs you, they'll regret it."

Doppio

Being sick: Doppio becomes a little whiny, seeking constant comfort and reassurance. He’s pitiful but sweet, clinging to you for warmth. (Honestly i can see him milking it a bit).

Taking care of you: He’s doting and earnest, though a bit clumsy. He brings you tea and tucks you in with way too many blankets. "You’ll feel better soon! I promise!"

Pucci

Being sick: Pucci continues his duties despite illness, driven by his discipline. He views sickness as a test and rarely complains, though he may collapse from overexertion. At the most he’ll drink some tea and go to bed early.

Taking care of you: His bedside manner is very gentle. He reads scriptures to you in a soothing voice, believing spiritual peace aids physical recovery. "Have faith; you'll recover soon."

Funny Valentine

Being sick: Valentine maintains a composed facade, though he feels frustration at being incapacitated. He tries to continue working from bed, issuing orders between coughs.

Taking care of you: Dutiful and protective, he personally ensures you receive the best care. He sits by your side, offering reassurances and holding your hand. "You will recover. I promise."

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m1ckeyb3rry · 1 year ago

Text

── PEREGRINE // FOUR

Series Synopsis: The ways that you and Seishiro Nagi fall together and fall apart over the years.

Chapter Synopsis: You and May go dress shopping before heading to her house for some bonding time. There, she pieces together the truth of your past with Nagi, prompting you to finally reveal everything.

Series Masterlist

Pairing(s): Nagi x Reader, Kira x Reader

Chapter Word Count: 4.8k

Content Warnings: unhealthy relationships, cheating, non-linear narrative, probably ooc, angst, nagi is endgame, kira sucks, alternate universe, original characters

A/N: i have written and rewritten this chapter so many times it’s illegal and also i still hate it LMFAOAO but at this point the story must go on!!

divider credits: @/benkeibear

“Can we please please please come now?” Reo whined through the phone. You could imagine the way his eyebrows would be drawn together, his eyes huge and shiny with desperation, his mouth twisted with raw sadness as he begged you, and it made you huff. You glanced over at May, who had finally, after hours of trying things on, decided on the dress she wanted to wear for her wedding. Sensing the opportunity to mess with Reo, who had been inundating you with phone calls almost the entire time the two of you had been dress shopping, you smirked.

“No, you can’t. Your future wife is as picky as you are impatient; I don’t know if she’ll even be able to pick a dress before the place closes for the day. Maybe we can plan on doing something tomorrow?” you said.

“What?” he shrieked. There was a thudding noise over the receiver, and you could only imagine that that meant he had dropped his phone on the ground.

“Hello?” you said. Your only response was a shuffling on the other end of the line, and then a soft breath as the phone was held to someone’s ear.

“Y/N, don’t bother Reo like that when I’m responsible for his emotional wellbeing. It’s so annoying.”

“Nagi,” you said, swallowing at just the sound of his sleepy voice. “Give Reo his phone back.”

“Mm, no can do,” Nagi said, his quiet irritation so strong you could feel its weight settling over your shoulders despite your distance. “He’s run off to call a taxi.”

“Call a — that idiot! Is he planning on coming even though I told him not to?” you said.

“Guess so,” he said. “Oh, man, he’s waving me over. Guess I better go…”

“Hold on a second!” you said.

“Hm?” he said. “Ah — Reo, what the hell? No, I’m not making things strange — stop it!”

You blinked, bemused, as Reo’s muffled voice scolded Nagi while he weakly protested. In the end, Reo must’ve won the spat, for he was the one to speak to you next.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry you had to talk to him. And after I promised you I wouldn’t leave the two of you alone!” Reo said.

“It’s okay, Reo, it was just a phone call. If I was uncomfortable, I would’ve hung up,” you said.

“If you say so. Anyways, we’re on our way,” he said.

“I told you not to come, stupid, not the other way around,” you said.

“And I almost believed you, but then I thought about it a little more, and I realized that there was a high chance that you were full of shit,”he said. “What wedding dress appointment takes this long?”

“You obviously haven’t watched enough reality TV,” you said. “There’s this one show that Ryosuke and I used to watch on the weekends where the brides have to choose their dresses live, and let me tell you, some of those sessions really did last an entire day.”

“Okay, but if a bride is crazy enough to be on a reality television show while picking out her wedding dress, then it’s not a surprise that she’d also be hard to please. May isn’t like that; she’s definitely picky, don’t get me wrong, but not in that way,” he explained.

He said it so familiarly: May isn’t like that. You were almost jealous of the way that he understood her so well, understood her to the point that he would catch a taxi to see her a little earlier because he knew she wasn’t the demanding type. You wanted to be understood like that. You wanted someone to be so comfortable with knowing you again.

“You got me,” you said. “I was just joking around. She finished up a few minutes before you called. If you hadn’t flipped out and dropped your phone before running away, I would’ve said that, as well.”

“You’re such a jerk. You’re a major jerk, did you know that?” Reo said.

“I’ve been told,” you said. He scoffed.

“True,” he said. “Okay, we’ll be there soon. Talk to you then!”

“I think May wants me to start trying dresses on myself now, so I’ll probably be getting changed when you guys get here. You can see me in my options and help me choose, though, if you’d like. Ryosuke is busy, so he can’t, which means you’re my next-best option,” you said.

“Ooh, sounds like a blast,” he said. “You know I’m always up for a fashion show!”

“I know,” you said. “Alright, they’re calling me over, so I should hang up. Bye!”

With that, you ended the call and trotted over to where May was talking with the willowy, long-haired designer who was in charge of constructing her dress — a glamorous man by the name of Jyubei Aryu.

“Are you the maid of honor?” Aryu said when you joined him and May, tucking your phone into your pocket as you did so that it did not distract you.

“I am,” you said.

“Wonderful. I’ve put a dress which I found suitable on the rack in the fitting room; please call for assistance if you need it,” he said.

“Thank you!” you said, going in the direction that he had indicated, ducking into the fitting room and admiring the dress he had provided you with.

It was a blush pink, in keeping with the theme of the wedding, and made of a pretty, expensive fabric that you definitely would not be able to afford if Reo had not insisted on paying for the entire wedding party’s outfits. When you slipped it on, it flowed against your skin like water, and it was just as light and comfortable, too. The intricate detailing on the bodice did not itch, and the skirt swished around your ankles as you took uncertain steps forward, acclimatizing yourself to the feel of the gown before daring to venture out in front of the others.

You knew without even asking their opinions that you wanted to get it. Perhaps Ryosuke would shame you for it — you were growing so terrible at being able to discern his will, so for all you knew, he’d hate the option, but it mattered little to you. You liked the dress. You found it beautiful.

Aryu had graciously left a pair of heels approximately your size by the dress, so that it did not drag on the floor when you walked. Fastening the buckle of the dainty ankle strap, you opened the door to the fitting room and crept out to the waiting area, where you knew May would eagerly be waiting to see what you were in.

“Oh, wow,” May said when you rounded the corner. “Y/N! You look so beautiful!”

“Thank you,” you said. “I really like this one. Do you think it’s appropriate for a maid of honor?”

Hers was the only negative you’d entertain. If she didn’t think that the dress was suitable for her wedding, then you’d let go of the idea, albeit begrudgingly. After all, it was her wedding, and whatever she said was what went.

“It’s perfect,” she said, pretending to wipe away a tear, as if you were the bride and she were your lovingly overbearing mother. “Say yes to the dress, Y/N! Although I’m afraid you’ll outshine me if you’re standing next to me in that.”

“Be real,” you said, rolling your eyes. “No one could ever outshine you, May.”

Just then, the bell on the door chimed, announcing someone’s arrival, though it needn’t have. Only seconds after he had stepped in, Reo was declaring his presence to the public with that same gaudy, business-like professionalism he oozed every time he was forced to engage in high society.

“Hello, hello,” he said, somehow managing to simultaneously nod at the secretary, shake hands with Aryu, and wink at you and May, all without looking harried or awkward. “My apologies for any inconvenience our late arrival might have caused. It seems my fiancée’s dearest maid of honor was finding some humor in giving Nagi and I the old run around.”

“It’s not a problem,” Aryu said. “Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. Mikage.”

“The pleasure’s all mine,” Reo said. “This is Seishiro Nagi, by the way. My best man.”

“It’s good to meet you, too, Mr. Nagi. My wife was a big fan of yours back when you were playing soccer,” Aryu said, holding out his newly-freed hand to Nagi’s in greeting. But Nagi did not take it, far too distracted to even notice, although his phone was for once not in his hands. Reo, who would never let his perfect facade drop in public but obviously wanted to scowl and smack his friend for the rudeness, turned his head to see what could possibly be holding Nagi’s attention if not a screen, and then his eyes widened, because he realized that it was you.

Nagi was gazing over at you in that way only he ever had, that way only he ever could. The weight of his stare was hot and adoring, like there was nothing else in the entire world he could be troubled with, like he’d carry a thousand burdens if it meant that you’d let him collapse at your feet once he grew tired, like you were the one pain he’d willingly take and even seek out. That was the way that Seishiro Nagi gazed at you, and the only thing you could do was cross your arms, like that paltry gesture could ever be enough to ward him off, like you even wanted to ward him off in the first place.

“If you say so,” May sang under her breath, so only you could hear. You startled, having forgotten that she was still standing next to you.

“Ah, Nagi’s not played soccer in a bit,” Reo said, discreetly stepping on Nagi’s foot, breaking him out of his trance. “But I’m sure he appreciates the support. Right, Nagi?”

“Huh?” Nagi said, his eyelashes brushing against his cheeks as he blinked sleepily at Aryu. “Oh. Yeah, right. Does she want an autograph or something?”

“I’m sure she would be delighted!” Aryu said, producing a pad of paper and a pen for Nagi to scrawl his messy signature onto.

“You got your dress?” Reo said, his arm going around May’s waist as he pressed a kiss to her temple. She nodded and beamed up at him.

“It’s amazing,” she said. “The exact kind of dress that I imagined I’d get married in one day.”

“I can’t wait to see it,” he said.

“I wish my mom was here,” May said. “She was so sad that she couldn’t make it in time. I FaceTimed her and all, but it’s not the same, you know?”

“I told your parents not to worry about work or anything,” Reo said, rolling his eyes. “They should’ve just flown over with Y/N and Kira. If their bosses gave them any trouble, I’d have sent lawyers after them or something.”

“Neither of them are comfortable taking advantage of you,” May chided him. “You know that.”

They continued to converse, and you took a step back, feeling as if you were intruding on something private. Rubbing your arm, you stared at the ground, wondering what Ryosuke might be doing back at the hotel. Was he truly taking a nap, as he had claimed? Or was he with another girl again?

Well. Either way, you supposed he was most likely in bed. Snorting at the double entendre, you almost missed Nagi’s soft tap on your shoulder.

“Hi,” he said. You opened your mouth, and then you closed it again, not wanting to be too hasty, not wanting to say something you shouldn’t when Reo and May were right there beside you.

“Hi,” you said back.

“That’s the dress you’re getting for the wedding?” he said.

“Yeah,” you said, adjusting the straps.

“It’s nice,” he said. “You look nice.”

It was such a simple statement that it barely counted as a compliment, but you could not stop the corners of your mouth from twitching as they fought to curve into a smile. After all, hearing things like that from Nagi were so rare — he was never one to find much merit in praising just about anyone.

“Thanks,” you said. “Ryosuke wanted me to choose something pretty, so…”

You saw the way his face closed off at the mention of Ryosuke and immediately cringed, though no one else would even be able to discern the imperceptible shift of his expression. Still, you were quite certain when he shrugged his shoulders slightly in approval that there was distaste brewing in his blank irises, and you bit your tongue, cursing yourself for ruining his mood before pausing.

Why did you care? It was your right to bring up the man you were to marry, wasn’t it? In fact, it was the honorable thing to do, considering your history with Nagi. The reminder was a good thing. A boundary that needed to be set. Something along those lines. So why, then, did it feel wrong? Like you had further torn apart something you might’ve still had a chance at mending?

“He’ll be satisfied, then,” he said. “You’re pretty.”

“Isn’t she?” May said brightly, somehow manifesting at your side, though you had not noticed her walking over. “I told her as much! You should definitely get it, Y/N, if even Nagi can find it in his heart to say something sweet to you about it.”

“Speaking of getting things, Nagi, come on,” Reo said, also appearing from nowhere to tug on Nagi’s sleeve. “We have shopping to do for ourselves. Let’s leave the two of them alone.”

The notion of Reo leaving you alone was so foreign that you almost protested, but then he grinned at you over his shoulder and you recalled his promise, about how he would ensure you and Nagi were not stuck together at any point, as long as it was within his means to keep you both apart.

You didn’t want Nagi to go, though. You didn’t want Reo to keep the two of you apart, but how could you tell him that? Did the words even exist for you to explain any of it? You thought that they mustn’t.

“By the way, I convinced Reo to sleep at Nagi’s tonight,” May said.

“Why would you do that?” you said.

“He should bond with his best man a bit!” she said. “As for me, there’s a lot of bonding that I want to do with you, Miss Maid-of-Honor, and I don’t think you’ll answer my questions if Reo’s within earshot, so this was the perfect idea!”

“I think that I’m not going to like your questions and your bonding very much,” you said.

“Too bad!” she said. “I’m the bride, so you have to do what I say!”

“It’s not your wedding day yet, you know,” you pointed out. “Technically, that doesn’t hold.”

“What happened to you wanting to make my life easier and all of that nonsense?” she said. “I’m just asking you for this one favor, so you really ought to grant it!”

“Okay, okay,” you said. “Let me make sure Ryosuke is fine with me staying at your place again.”

You brought out your phone to call your fiancé, but May snatched it out of your hands the instant he picked up.

“Kira? This is May. Yes, May Ducat, how many Mays do you think Y/N knows and spends time with? She’s going to sleep over again tonight so that she can help me with some preparation stuff. No, you’re right, I’m not asking you, I’m telling you. Uh-huh. Oh my god, did you know my future husband could buy your entire life? Shut up and let me have my best friend for the night! You get her every single day back in America, so now it’s my turn!” she said, making a face.

“May!” you said. She handed you back the phone, showing you that Ryosuke had hung up, and then she gave you a double-thumbs-up.

“We’re set for the night!” she said. “I’m so excited!”

“I was literally at your house earlier today. You should’ve just asked me your questions then,” you said.

“Um, like I said, I doubted you would answer if Reo was around, and anyways, I just came up with some of them now,” she said.

“Whatever,” you said. “Okay. I’m excited, too.”

You were not, considering the types of questions you sensed she was going to ask, but when she tackled you in a hug and promised you that you would have so, so much fun, it was hard to say that aloud.

Luckily, all of your things were still at May and Reo’s, so after everything was bought and paid for, with shipping arranged via one of Reo’s assistants, you could go straight to their house instead of having to stop at the hotel again. Reo, who had taken a cab back to get his car before dropping you off, waved merrily as the two of you stepped into the driveway.

“Have a nice night, both of you!” he said.

“You, too. Try to finish that one zombie adventure thing you and Nagi started last month. I don’t want to hear about it on our honeymoon,” May said.

“Actually, we both got the new Pokémon games while we were waiting for you to finish choosing your dress, so we’re going to start those together tonight and see who can beat the Champion first,” Reo said.

“Make sure to choose the fire type starter, then,” she said seriously. “They’re always the best ones.”

“No, Nagi usually chooses water, so I have to pick grass, just in case he challenges me to a battle at some point,” Reo said.

“Only lame people choose grass,” May said. “I always go for fire. What about you, Y/N?”

“I’ve only played Pokémon once, and it wasn’t my game, so I didn’t even finish it,” you said. “And I picked the one I thought was the cutest. I do think it was the fire one, though.”

“That’s what I like to see!” May said, high-fiving you.

“And how many battles have either of you beaten Nagi in?” Reo said. “That’s right, zero. So I don’t want to hear it!”

“How many battles have you beaten Nagi in?” May said. Reo glared at her.

“See you tomorrow,” he said, rolling the window up and driving off without another word.

“If only the girls at my high school had known what a big baby Reo really is,” you said. “They wouldn’t have made a fan club for him.”

“He actually had a fan club?” May said. “He told me that that wasn’t real!”

“It was real,” you affirmed. “Believe me. The Reo Mikage Fan Club and I have a long and storied history, so you should trust me more than him on the topic.”

“Were you a member?” she said, unlocking the front door and ushering you in. You choked on your saliva at the mere prospect.

“No way!” you said, sitting down on a bar stool at the kitchen counter while May dug around in her cabinets.

“Found it!” she said, brandishing a box of grocery store mac and cheese. “Reo would have a fit if he knew this was in our house, so I’ve kept it hidden away for a special occasion, but what’s more special than this? Also, I was just kidding.”

“Remember when we made Reo eat those cups of mac and cheese that you make in the microwave and he almost threw up?” you said.

“Yup,” she said. “And then he started complaining about the chemicals and additives and whatnot! As if that’s not half of the fun and flavor.”

“That must’ve been before Chigiri had the fire department called on him for forgetting the water in his microwave noodles,” you said. “The RA banned their microwave after that, right?”

“Oh, jeez, I forgot that that happened! They used to have to come to our room to warm up their leftovers,” May said, shaking her head. “What a time.”

“Do you miss it?” you said.

“Being in college?” she said. “Yes and no. I miss being your roommate and seeing you all of the time, and I miss how carefree everything was back then, but at the same time, I’m really happy now. I wouldn’t trade those years for anything, but I don’t mind that they’re over. Whatever comes next, I’m sure it’ll be great in its own way, even if it’s different. Maybe especially because it’s different.”

“That’s a good way of looking at things,” you said.

“What about you?” she said.

“The same, I guess. I miss everyone being together,” you said. “I still have Ryosuke and Chigiri, but it’s not the same without you and Reo there. My life is much more stable now, so that’s a positive, but sometimes I do wish I could go back and change things.”

“What would you change?” May said.

“I’m not sure,” you said. “It’s just a thought. I wish I could know what my life would look like now if I had followed a different path at some point or another, you know?”

“You told me earlier that you weren’t happy,” she said, putting down a dish of macaroni in front of you, sitting down at your side with her own plate. “That you were satisfied, but not happy.”

“That’s right,” you said.

“Why can’t you be both?” she said. “Why can’t you be happy and satisfied with your life?”

“I just can’t,” you said.

“There is a reason,” she said. “Tell me. I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s wrong!”

“You can’t help me regardless,” you said bitterly, stabbing a clump of pasta with your fork. “I gave up my chance at happiness for the sake of my future, that’s all. I left it behind in search of the very life I have now. You’ve known since we met that I don’t have any particular dreams; if my existence is mundane and tired, then it’s okay. That’s my goal. Not everyone gets to be Cinderella like you, May.”

“Left it behind in search of the very life you have now…” May muttered, narrowing her eyes at you. Although psychology had not been her degree, it was suddenly so clear why she had chosen to minor in it — she was uncannily good at reading people. “It, or him?”

You dropped your fork. “What did you just say?”

“Correct once again!” she said triumphantly. “I’ve been suspecting it for a bit. There’s someone else, isn’t there? I was so sure it was Chigiri, but I could never find the final bit of proof for that theory, so I was forced to dismiss it. This led to a new puzzle, though: if not Chigiri, then who? You’ve always tended to avoid talking to guys, at least as long as we’ve been friends, so the list of options was pretty limited.”

“Why does everyone think Chigiri and I are secretly dating?” you said, throwing your hands up in the air. “You’re not the first person to accuse me of it, and for some reason, I feel like you won’t be the last.”

“Don’t distract me when I’m on a roll!” she said, pointing her fork at you. “Anyways, it was bothering me for a while, but after last night and today, I was finally able to put it together.”

“You didn’t put shit together,” you said frantically. “May, you didn’t put anything together. Don’t say it.”

“I’ve never seen Nagi look at anyone the way he looked at you in that dress,” she said. “That was the first clue. From there, it all began to make sense. Why else would he come to dinner when he never agrees to such outings on any other occasion? What other reason could there be for your awkward relationship? You said that you hated him for a complicated reason. Well, this is definitely complicated! For one, you’ve been lying to everyone about the true nature of your feelings — that is to say, you are, or at some point were, in love with Seishiro Nagi!”

“I don’t like this bonding activity anymore,” you said. “Let’s do something else. Wanna play cards?”

“Wait, I’m actually right? I mean, of course I am, I’m always right,” she said. “I can’t believe it, though. How does that even make sense? You guys are total opposites.”

“Obviously we are. Don’t you think that there’s a reason it didn’t work out between the two of us?” you said. “You are right, as usual. When we were in high school, Nagi and I were together. The break up was mutually agreed upon and for both of our benefits. It was a long time ago, and in the grand scheme of things, largely inconsequential. Happy now?”

“If you were telling the truth, I would be,” she said. “Let me guess which part you were lying about…hm. I think that that relationship wasn’t inconsequential in the slightest.”

“When you’re in high school, every relationship feels earth-shattering and all-consuming. That doesn’t mean it is,” you said. “At the time, he was important to me.”

“And now he’s not?” she said.

“Now he can’t be,” you said. “I’m engaged. I’ve moved on, and so has he. He was the one to do so first, actually. I didn’t start dating Ryosuke until I realized that there was no point in looking backwards, not when the rest of the world will leave you behind if you get stuck like that.”

“What the fuck,” May said, holding her head in her hands as you continued to eat your dinner. You didn’t blame her for the dramatics; her entire view of your history had just been shifted, and not necessarily for the better. “Y/N. What the fuck. Kira was your second choice? I thought you were totally crazy about him!”

“First choice, second choice, does it matter?” you said. “He’s the one I’ll wed.”

“Do you wish it was Nagi instead?” she said.

“No,” you said. “He deserves better. He always has. Even back then, he deserved someone better than me. I’m glad I’m not marrying him.”

“Woah, woah, woah. That’s just about the opposite thing I was expecting you to say. He deserves better? He’s probably too lazy to even shower properly! If anyone deserves better, it’s you,” she said.

You took a sip of water to clear the thick feeling from your tongue. “It might seem that way, but to be frank, I’m a very hard person to love. Just ask my parents and Ryosuke if you don’t believe me. Nagi should be with someone who isn’t a pain, and though he never said so, I know I was always a hassle for him.”

“Why would you say something like that about yourself? You’re not hard to love,” she said. You exhaled, pushing your now-empty plate away and resting your chin in your hands.

“When I was a child, my parents only cared about one thing,” you said. “Whether I’d grow up to be beautiful enough to seduce the son of a rich man. Not whether he’d love me — love doesn’t matter, you see. People can fall in and out of love quite easily. Financial obligations, duty, the law…those are things you can rely on. Would I be beautiful enough to stand by a wealthy man’s side? To be worthy of bearing his children and binding him to me forever? They were obsessed with that question and its answer, and that obsession had its consequences.”

May was quiet for a moment as she took your words in. “I didn’t know that.”

“Don’t blame yourself. I didn’t tell you. I’ve only ever managed to tell one other person all of this,” you said.

“Reo?” she guessed. You laughed sadly.

“Reo? No, not him. I wish that I could, but he’s not the sort of person I can talk to about these types of issues. He has his own, more pressing problems,” you said. Understanding dawned on her face.

“Nagi,” she said. “You told Nagi.”

“I did,” you said. “He knows more about me than anyone in the entire world. The truth, since you’re so determined to figure it out, is that I loved him back then, May, though I should have known better. Love is never enough. You can’t save someone just by loving them, and neither can you change who they really are.”

May cocked her head. “Huh? Y/N, what do you mean by that? What…what really happened between the two of you? Because obviously, Reo had no clue what was going on, and I’ve only ever heard about your high school years from him.”

“What happened between the two of us? It was a series of mistakes, the biggest of which were allowing him to fall for me and falling for him in return,” you said. “It’s really hard to live a life without love once you’ve known it. I keep searching for it in places that it won’t ever exist, but deep in my heart, I’m aware that I’ll never be able to find it again, not in any way that lasts. Not in any way that resembles what I had during my last year in Japan, in those few months I spent with Seishiro Nagi.”

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