#And Kira could have won | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

applestorms · 3 months ago

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L can be such a possessive character at times. he always strikes me as the type of person who is deeply aware of everything that he owns, both in a more literal sense and metaphorically-- like, he knows what money he has and how to use it, what resources are readily available to him and what he has to be sneakier to utilize, the habits and tendencies and emotional states of individuals and world governments both. the DN musical really puts an emphasis on the more computer-y aspects of how his brain functions, which isn't as obvious in the manga/anime but i think still works well as a way to follow his thinking. it's kinda what near does too: everything is a factor to them, every tiny detail a new opening to optimize for the best results, every person and location and object a part of a puzzle waiting to be solved. and as a part of that, L is deeply aware of every and any little thing he may or may not have control over, and exactly to what degree.

his habit of stealing titles as depicted in the LABB murders novel is such a good example of this. ryuzaki, eraldo coil, deneuve. he eats people alive and then takes their names for himself like some kind of fucked up fae or trickster god, creating new masks and personas to hide behind from the remains of the people he's devoured. i have to wonder if he would've used the title of KIRA for himself had he won-- i can hardly imagine what kind of power such a title could hold if held in his hands. of course, he could've just used the defeat of KIRA as a way to build up the L title even further, offering up the body of a dead god like perseus showing off the head of medusa. but L is so emotionally attached to the kira case, i struggle to see him allowing it to fade from existence so thoroughly as near does, even if it is only kept close on a private level...

this is part of why i think it genuinely makes a lot of sense that L's ultimate win state would include capturing light to some degree. even if the memory of KIRA somehow manages to fully disappear from the public consciousness, there is no fucking way L is letting light yagami out of his grasp. honestly, the moment that L truly loses this game is not when he starts investigating misa while still under rem's watch, not when light gets back his memories, not even when he dies, but the moment when he allows light to be freed from the handcuffs. the moment when he allows the other members of the task force to turn off the cameras and keep him from watching light and misa talk in the lobby. the moment when he gives up, lets light yagami go outside of L's personal sphere of control, is the moment when L starts the clock ticking down to the end of his own life.

this is one of the key ways in which i see light as a true equal and parallel to L, as after L's death he, intentionally or no, continues the same tradition and takes L's title for himself, twisting the two sides together into the L-KIRA amalgamation. only, the L title functions a little bit differently than every other persona or title that we see in the series-- because L's true name is L. that's all that he is. on a literal, legal, and emotional level, i don't think that L is anything more than L. he is the world's greatest detective, he's an incredible, weirdo super genius, but he does not afford himself much more than that, barely allows himself personhood or humanity outside of his work. light was the one to ultimately defeat L because he did not just put a stain on his character (as BB attempted), did not just kill him, but stole his very identity and took it for himself.

one of the biggest contradictions of L's character that i think you must accept should you attempt to portray him accurately is that he is both deeply detached from humanity while also having all of his work and effort and life be focused around saving it. it's one of the ways in which he is an exact opposite to light-- where light relies on humanity for external validation, to be Seen, while also looking down on it as dumb and immoral and spineless, L is so separated from it that he barely exists as a person, all the while dedicating almost every action he takes to helping it. remember: for all the emotional turmoil that wammy's house and the legacy of L may put on the kids living there, ultimately it's entire existence is nothing more than L's logical solution to his potential demise. if he dies, the world goes down with him, all of the cases that are yet to happen and he is yet to solve being left in the air. he has the foresight to set up a fail safe, but not to consider the emotional implications of what being that fail safe might feel like, how high the price of your own humanity is if you are not already alienated from it, the inability to have your own name on your gravestone-- though perhaps some of the blame also falls on watari's shoulders in this case, philanthropic old bastard that he is.

imo, playing his game really got it right in presenting L and light as one and the same, synonyms on either side of the mirror. in every action they take they are both so selfishly selfless, playing the game for themselves and their own pleasure but plastering the needs and will of humanity on top of it. L isn't invested in saving humanity for the sake of humanity-- he just likes the thrill of having the stakes raised so high. hard to shit on ryuk for wanting entertainment when the humans he finds are just the same as him.

#death note #astronaut rambles #l lawliet #*L voice* i need to get him in a collar #ahh the thematic cannibalism of light yagami and l lawliet #lawlight #also. i need someone talk to me about near's toys again #i reread mello's death + their final confrontation right before class today & i really like that near wears an L mask when they first meet #especially since that one author's note (?) about near probably hating L keeps standing out in my mind ahahahhaahah #that fucking house. it really fucks those kids up #did L ever even realize? probably not #too busy playing mind games with his psychological warfare fuck buddy boytoy to notice #feel like i should have more L thoughts honestly. i ramble about light often enough #but i suppose i'll just do with this for now and let it come naturally later #'what puts him at ease' 'the food that he likes' 'learn his routines' aww. they're planning a date :))

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walkingstackofbooks · 5 months ago

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"Are you happier? Now that the war is over?"

It had been meant as a serious question, but from the look on Kira's face, she hadn't caught onto that. "What sort of question is that, 'am I happier'?" she asked, laughing a little as she spoke. "Of course I am! Who isn't?"

Shrugging, Julian forced himself to smile back at her. "No, of course," he agreed. "Silly question."

His smile clearly hadn't been convincing: Kira's own smile had faded as she looked at him more closely, her eyebrows creasing into a frown.

"Have I done something to make you think I'm not?" she asked sharply. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"No-- no, nothing like that," Julian said hurriedly. "I mean, obviously Odo's gone now, and Keiko and the Chief, and Worf, and... and the Captain... But that-- That's different, isn't it, I guess. You can be sad and happy at the same time, right?"

He cringed, knowing that he hadn't quite managed to make sense there: years of practice had made him very good at recognising Kira's 'baffled' expression.

"All these years," said Kira, slowly shaking here head, "and I still don't understand you, sometimes. Of course I miss Odo, and the others -- and while we're at it, of course I'm still angry and-- and upset about the things that happened during the war..." She made a face, banging her fist lightly against the table. "Damn you, you know I'm no good with feelings, that's... there's a lot more there, besides," she added. "And I'm sure as hell not going into that right now...

"But if you're asking whether I'd rather be here, now, living without the threat of the Dominion or the Cardassians, knowing my friends are alive and safe -- and if they're not, at least being able to mourn them in peace, not having to make decisions that could get us all killed if it goes even slightly wrong... or if I'd rather be back there, in the war -- well. It's no contest, is it?"

"In theory, no, of course--"

"In theory?" Kira asked incredulously. "Julian, are you saying you were happier in the war?"

"No!" he exclaimed: that hadn't been what he'd meant at all. "The war was-- it was... Well, you couldn't be happy during the war, could you? Everything was too awful, it was impossible."

"A lot of the time, yeah," Kira said softly. "And that's gonna stick with us for a long time -- but they're only memories, now. We made it."

"We did," Julian said quietly, his eyes fixed on the table. "I just... I thought I'd be happier, I guess. Now that it's all over."

Kira reached forward, brushing her hand over his. "That's what this is all about?" she asked. "You aren't happy?"

"I never said I'm not," Julian objected hotly, looking back up at her -- but a sigh slipped out of him as he realised he didn't actually have an argument, and he shook his head, slumping back into his chair. Kira watched him, not saying anything.

"No, you're right," he admitted, pulling his arms across himself, almost too tight. "I know I'm supposed to be-- I know, after everything, it's so stupid... But, Nerys, I don't-- I don't think I am?"

Stopping to swallow the lump that had risen in his throat, he noticed he eyes had grown wet, which for some reason made him chuckle. "Isn't that silly?" he asked, leaning forward again. "We won the war, but I'm still not happy."

"No, Julian," Kira replied slowly. "I don't think that's silly at all. It's just... It's just very, very sad." She took a breath, reaching out to hold both his hands this time. "I'm sorry," she continued. "I didn't know."

"It's not your fault," he said, squeezing her hands tightly. "For a while, I just thought everyone else was pretending, too, so I just went along with it... And then I started to realise that no, you were all actually at least a little bit okay, and so I had to keep pretending, because happiness is so fragile and I didn't, you know, want to make anyone else feel bad just because I..."

He trailed off, shrugging a little. "I don't know, Nerys. I guess I just wanted to check that it wasn't just me, but it is just me, and now I've told you, and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel bad--"

"Julian, no," Kira interrupted. "Thank you for sharing this with me -- I'm glad you told me, okay?"

Ears growing hot, Julian ducked his head, not quite sure to do with the wave of emotion spilling over him. Now that he'd told her some of it, he kind of wanted to let everything out. Distractedly, he started tracing patterns on her hands, pushing into them with increasing intensity.

"It's just-- I'm just..." He stumbled over his words, struggling to give voice to the one thought that he'd been trying to ignore for months. "What if this is it for me? What if I'm like this forever? It's been years, Nerys--"

To his horror, his voice cracked, and he covered his mouth, trying to hold back the sobs that were threatening to burst out. Hoping that no-one else had noticed, he looked around the replimat; thankfully the other diners seemed more interested in their own conversations than in him and Kira.

"Would you like to go somewhere less public?" Kira asked. Not quite trusting himself to speak, he nodded, and together they left the replimat.

As they walked down the promenade and up to the habitat ring, Kira steered clear of their previous conversation, chatting about the station, her week, her latest grievance with Quark, and Julian was grateful for the respite. But as soon as they were sat down in her quarters, she turned to him with a most serious expression.

"It isn't right, you feeling like that, you know," she said. "I don't have the answers, I don't know how it gets better -- but we both know someone who would. You haven't tried telling Ezri any of this, have you?"

Julian's stomach tightened: Ezri was the last person he wanted to have this particular conversation with. "Oh, yes, because that would go so well," he retorted sarcastically. "Hi Ezri, I love you, but you don't make me happy. Don't worry, it's not you, I'm just unhappy most of the time. Most of the time? Yeah, it gets better when I'm around you, because then I just kind of feel... nothing. What an improvement!"

"Julian..." whispered Kira, but it was all coming out now and Julian couldn't make it stop. He rose from the sofa, starting to pace as he spoke.

"Did you ever make me happy? Maybe, sweetheart, but I'm not even certain of that. I might have been so desperate for anything even resembling happiness that I just deluded myself into thinking I was in love... Do I even love you? Who the fuck knows, Ezri. Is love even real, or did it die in the war along with every-fucking-thing else?"

His voice had risen louder than he'd intended, condemning him with every word it pushed forcefully into the air. He'd made Kira cry, he thought, but he couldn't quite be sure, his vision being clouded by his own mess of tears.

"How could I possibly tell her that?" he asked, sitting back down heavily, his voice dropping to a hollow whisper. "Kira, how the hell do I tell her that?"

"Come here," she said in way of a response, pulling him against her and holding him tightly, so that he could feel her lips move against his hair as she answered him. "I don't know," she was saying, "but you have to, Julian. I can be there with you if you want but, Prophets, Julian, you have to. How could you not?"

How could he not?

Julian closed his eyes and let himself fall apart against his friend, not even bothering to try to answer her. It was terrifying, after all this time, to finally allow someone to see how broken he really was, but he was far, far too tired to keep it in any longer.

#Julian Bashir #Kira Nerys #Andi writes #DS9 fanfic #weirdly I feel like I've written something along these lines before?#but i can't actually remember doing so?#it might be because all my stuff ends up sounding like this lol i'm such a cliche :P #anyway as ever this wasn't planned it just happened #the past few days there have been like 4 things that have come up in my brain as a little whatsit to just do #i almost started a julian and sisko talk about jadzia during baseball one yesterday #but today i ended up starting to write a song #(i don't miss the war -- but i do miss you)#and then this happened because i can't share the song (yet) but i can share this #wsb

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barblaz-arts · 11 months ago

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HELLOOO!! Im in LOVE with all your Chaggie (and Wenclair obv-) art!! I was wondering if youd be up to share your thoughts on the other hazbin characters? Simply cuz Im very curious and youve been a favourite content creator of mine for a while whose opinions and takes on different things i value A LOT! So id love to hear your thoughts on the rest of the main cast(and more if youre up to it hahha)!

@phantoswordsman15

The main cast huh

Hmmmmm I dont particularly hate them, but I have some opinions that people might not like and I'm aware there's a lot of uh sensitive people in this fandom, so I never said them unprompted

But since you asked!

Alastor

Let's start with the infamous Alastor. I think he's a very entertaining character! His horde of simps annoy tf outta me when they're being misogynistic and homophobic towards Chaggie and Vaggie, but I quite liked him when I make myself forget certain parts of the fandom. He's funny and conniving and intriguing. The fact that he apparently sold his soul is super interesting to me. I'm on board with the people theorizing that he sold his soul to Lilith. I bet he's cozying up with Charlie so that he can use it to break his contract somehow. Feel like he also used the deal with (presumably) Lilith so that he could be strong enough to be the overlord he became.

With that being said, I'm really surprised with the direction they took with him. You'd think that with him being a favorite of the showrunner and the fandom, he would probably be portrayed as the coolest mf in hell. But I really like that it isn't really the case within the show. Certain denizens dont even know him and older overlords like Zestial seems to scare him and Carmilla just dgaf about him. Hell, Alastor's loss to Adam was a lil embarrassing ngl. Like. I know he's one of the oldest human souls and that's why he's powerful but... It's Adam.

Something about him that I noticed is that he seems to be more bark than bite. In particular in his duet with Lucifer, initially Lucifer had the upper hand because he's objectively more powerful, humiliating Alastor with his angel magic, but what Alastor used to his advantage was his words and charisma, as can be expected of a radio host. He's always taunting his enemies, but does it actually make him stronger than them? He "won" that duet with Vox but Valentino said Alastor only"almost beat" him when they had an actual fight. He ruffled Lucifer's feathers but at the end of the day Lucifer is still leagues more powerful than him. He talked big when he was fighting Adam but he almost died and had a breakdown over it.

He's really a lot less "cool" than I expected the show would have him be portrayed as. Kinda pathetic honestly, how he's so insecure and angry whenever he isn't the strongest guy in the room. And i actually really like that! He reminds me a lot of Rumplestilstkin from Once Upon a Time.

Something I kinda hesitate to say tho is... I dont want him redeemed. I dont want him to actually care about the hotel crew and change his ways. I like him as the fucked up man he is and really want to see how fucked up he can be, just so that if he ends up being the huge antagonist, his downfall would be all the more satisfying. Like yunno that moment when Light/Kira was finally defeated? I wanna feel that again.

Angel Dust

I love him! We found his dialogue a lil annoying at first in ep 1 but the writers did a lot better in ep 2. He's a neat guy. His character gives interesting implications for me as to what makes a person a sinner in this show. While you have people like Alastor who obviously ended up where they did because a cannibal murderer, I get the feeling Angel ended up in hell because he was abusing his own body, which is a sad thing to think. If I remember right from my own catholic upbringing, abusing the body is considered a sin because your body is a temple. To think that Angel could be in hell for poisoning himself, not for harming others, is just sad man. I look forward to seeing more of his journey.

I'm not touching on how his SA was tackled btw. While I'm a victim of sexual assault myself, what i experienced was far from what Angel does on a REGULAR basis,so I don't feel like i have any personal or professional right to say anything about it. Not every victim's case is universal anyways. All I can say is, his line about purposefully damaging himself so he could be broken enough to no longer be Valentino's "favorite toy" hit me harder than I ever expected this show to.

Husk

Confession: I... I dont feel all that attached to Husk at all, I am so sorry Husk stans 😭

Okok that feels so mean to say I'm so sorry. I actually hesitated to say anything because I dont want to hurt people's feelings. But since you guys are asking and I dont like not being genuine, I'm telling the truth.

A lot of my feelings about Husk is heavily affected by the fandom anyways to be perfectly fair. Why? Because a lot of criticisms against Vaggie is easily applicable to Husk, maybe even more so, and yet I dont see even the same level of hate towards him that Vaggie received because his chemistry with Angel is so much better than Chaggie... Apparently...

I just dont see Husk as a character outside of being a plot device for Angel's development yunno? I get it, he isn't a main character like the main 4 are(Charlie, Vaggie, Alastor, and Angel), i just find it hard to well and truly like him because of the fandom's double standards. When we found out someone was gonna die in the finale, my brother and I actually thought it was gonna be him because he doesn't have a big enough role to play in the plot to be a HUGE loss, but has a significant enough connection to a main character to have an EFFECT. He very much just felt like the love interest for Angel and nothing else. Which isnt necessarily a bad thing, but is frustrating when i see sooo many people label Vaggie as such(when she isnt!) and hate her SO MUCH for it.

I wanna see more of him tho I really do. Like the man used to be an overlord. He said he wanted to find someone who could relate to "the gruesome ways in which he's damaged" but what does that even mean? Yes i know about the castration but aside from that what suffering is Alastor putting him thru when all he has to do is be a bartender rn? There must be more and I wanna see it and finally feel for him.

Nifty

I love her a lot. That's it. The character ever. Her gremlin energy reminded me so much of Peridot, it's great. Kimiko Glenn did a fantastic job as the comic relief character and I hope she gets her own song next season. Her basically being everyone's little sister was kinda adorable even tho she's probably the scariest person in that hotel next to Alastor. I hope she gets to stab Valentino next. Just kill that MOTHerfucker

#asks #hazbin hotel

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couldtheycatchkira · 13 days ago

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Hey!! Your blog is very good and fun. I'm wondering if you have any characters that have gotten the highest percentage in the 'could catch Kira, would not survive' category. It's almost always the lowest and I really want to know if it's ever won.

((By my own memory, about twenty have won that category. Notably, L.))

#Ask #fearless-seagull

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dlscenarios · 1 year ago

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Thief - Akira Kurusu/Ren Amamiya x Reader | Persona 5

I have started pretty much EVERY format P5R comes in & I have finished NONE of them—

Things started getting weird when the infamous transfer student came to Shujin. He was the talk of the school. Everyone would whisper about how he's a criminal, how he "definitely killed someone", that he was "involved in drug deals."

When he walked into your homeroom class, you couldn't pull your eyes away from him. He didn't look like someone that would commit crimes.

Soon after, word got around that he and renowned troublemaker, Ryuji Sakamoto, had gotten in trouble with Kamoshida. Days later, a bright red card was plastered across the school. You took one off of the board and read it.

The note stated that whomever wrote it knew of Kamoshida's crimes and would make him pay for his sins. Putting the card into your bag, you walked away only to notice the transfer student, Ryuji, and Ann Takamaki whispering to each other. You sped away before they could notice you.

Everyone knew Kamoshida was evil, but the day he burst into the gym and confessed caught everyone off guard. This started talk of the "Phantom Thieves" being real.

Before leaving the gym, you approached the group of misfits, tapping the transfer student's shoulder. You asked him to meet you on the roof after school, which he agreed to.

You paced the roof in circles until the boy came through the door. After exchanging hellos, the two of you sat at the group of desks.

"We haven't officially met yet. My name's Y/N." You started, fidgeting with your fingers.

"I'm Akira. Nice to meet you." He gave you such a sweet smile. It was hard to believe this was the guy students were weary of. "I have a feeling you didn't want to meet here for just introductions, right?"

You shook your head, "No. It's about Kamoshida."

Akira perked up, adjusting in his seat before nodding for you to continue.

"Those cards from the other day. Signed the 'Phantom Thieves of Hearts'. Were they from you? I saw you, Ryuji and Ann talking close by. Plus, word is that Kamoshida wanted to expel you right before those cards showed up," You paused to pull out the calling card you had in your bag, "It says that they will make him confess his sins. The next day, he didn't show up to school and then today, he confessed to everything."

"Maybe the timing was just a coincidence." Akira responded, briefly glancing at the card.

"But it's suspicious! You showed up and it was like Shujin got flipped upside down! Kamoshida's been abusing students for years and if anyone opposed him, he ALWAYS won. Then you came and, magically, Kamoshida crumbles. It's too strange to be a coincidence."

Akira smirked.

"What if I WAS involved? You didn't want Kamoshida to stay the way he was, did you?"

You jumped out of your seat, "Of course not! I'm glad he's getting locked up! But...if you ARE a part of the Phantom Thieves, I won't tell anyone. I'm your ally."

Akira stood. "In that case," he gently placed his hand on your head, "Glad to have you on our side, Y/N."

You turned your head, "Yeah yeah. Just let me know if there's anything I can do to help you guys."

After that rooftop encounter, you grew closer to Akira, Ann and Ryuji. You even grabbed the attention of Mishima, who asked if you could assist him with his Phantom Thieves website. You were there to greet the new thieves as they joined the squad. Akira had even asked you to hang out with him one-on-one numerous times.

Slowly but surely, you've begun to consider the band of misfits your friends.

One night, you were at Leblanc after Akira called, wanting you to try the coffee he'd learned to make.

You sipped, careful not to burn your tongue, and hummed. "It's delicious. You're getting better at this, 'Kira."

The black-haired boy smirked, dramatically posing.

"Guess you could say I've stolen your tastebuds."

You burst into laughter, grabbing onto the bar as to not fall off of the stool.

"That is the dumbest thing you've ever said to me!" You took a breath, trying to steady your voice, "Aren't criminals supposed to be sly?"

Akira shrugged, "Maybe I'm just special."

You rolled your eyes. "Yeah, maybe you are."

The thief leaned on the counter, looking at you with a soft gaze.

"You're special too, you know?"

"How?"

"Let's see. You were the first person to know we were the Phantom Thieves, you are willingly helping us even though it's dangerous, and you-" He gently booped your nose, "-are the cutest person I've ever met."

"Mmh." You leaned on your arm, ignoring the heat rising to your cheeks. "You're cuter. Do you know how many students say you're the hottest criminal they've ever seen?"

Akira lowered himself to your level, looking into your eyes. "They don't have a chance with me though. I've already got someone I'm interested in."

"And who is that?"

"You." Akira rose to place a kiss to your head before walking away, taking off his apron. You buried your face in your arms.

Suddenly, you perked up and called out to Akira.

"Maybe you ARE a thief, because you've stolen my heart!"

#joker persona 5 #persona 5 x reader #persona x reader #persona 5 #persona 5 royal #akira kurusu x reader #kurusu akira #akira kurusu #amamiya ren #ren amamiya #joker p5 #p5 #p5r #p5 royal #p5 joker

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obitoslover · 6 months ago

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Death Note x Naruto has taken over my brain these days, so I did another au (inspired by a friend's psychoanalysis on Madara who made me like bipolar Madara hc)

Basically, Madara take Light Yagami's place as Kira, killing criminals. One of the differences, tho, is that he doesn't wanna be acknowledged, since it would make his objective a lot harder

Kaguya is the shinigami, yey!! Should've I used Black Zetsu due to his nonhuman look? Yes, but I wanted to make Kaguya with a Samara from The Ring aspect + Kaguya is the mind behind Zetsu in anime + I like her better = Kaguya won

ANYWAY!!! Some lore points I have for now:

— Izuna takes Misa's place, bc he wants to help his brother getting rid of all the bad people; he seems somewhat more excited/engaged for this whole "new world's god" thing than Madara tho

Unlike Misa, he doesn't have the shinigami eyes, since Madara doesn't want his younger brother to take half of his lifespan away, especially when he already got it. Idk if Izuna has his own death note, so maybe he helps his bro in some other way (like the Oracle from DC vibes?)

— Madara wrote Tobirama's name as a "test" to see if the notebook was true. Why? Because that's his brother's ex who broke up horribly with him so why not (they realized they don't know where he is, so they couldn't possibly know if it work. two dummies)

— L is Tobirama... in the sense of who's against Kira, not who's the detective

"But he's dead way before Kira's mass killing was recognized as someone's doing, how is that possible??" you may ask, and I say

"Tobirama" is a fake name

See, l like mad scientist Tobirama and it's variations, so I needed to put this here. He's a criminal who never got caught, a really secretive one about his personal life, so most of the time he's using a fake identity to prevent people to keep a track on him; so it means Izuna didn't know his actual name and gave the fake one to Madara

"Tobirama" was one of the first people to realize all those deaths were induced by someone, so, in order to prevent his possible death in case he's caught, he started to hunt who could be Kira

— "Tobirama" is Hashirama's brother. He dyes his hair and wear eye contacts (and other things too like, idk, different clothing, some light make up to give a different look on his face) while undercover, so he can take a double life

You can't even imagine Madara's surprise when he finally realize his friend's brother and "Tobirama" are the same person

(I wanna make Itama = Tobirama, with his white hair + red eyes combo being his undercover while he has natural colors in his actual appearance, but I'm still deciding how confusing and cool it could be)

— Near and Mello aren't related to L in the slightest. I haven't decided yet who they could be (Maybe Kakashi=Near and Obito=Mello), but they would still be really close to the government and be, indeed, detective prodigies

Maybe they're chasing Kira at the same time as L? If I decide so, it would make Madara's life way harder, since it's both a criminal (with other criminals' contacts and accessibilities) and the government (two people above it, tbh) against him..... nah, he'd be caught way earlier, I need fun

#madara uchiha #izuna uchiha #tobirama senju #hashirama senju #naruto fanart #death note #naruto au

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m1ckeyb3rry · 8 months ago

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── PEREGRINE // FOUR

Series Synopsis: The ways that you and Seishiro Nagi fall together and fall apart over the years.

Chapter Synopsis: You and May go dress shopping before heading to her house for some bonding time. There, she pieces together the truth of your past with Nagi, prompting you to finally reveal everything.

Series Masterlist

Pairing(s): Nagi x Reader, Kira x Reader

Chapter Word Count: 4.8k

Content Warnings: unhealthy relationships, cheating, non-linear narrative, probably ooc, angst, nagi is endgame, kira sucks, alternate universe, original characters

A/N: i have written and rewritten this chapter so many times it’s illegal and also i still hate it LMFAOAO but at this point the story must go on!!

divider credits: @/benkeibear

“Can we please please please come now?” Reo whined through the phone. You could imagine the way his eyebrows would be drawn together, his eyes huge and shiny with desperation, his mouth twisted with raw sadness as he begged you, and it made you huff. You glanced over at May, who had finally, after hours of trying things on, decided on the dress she wanted to wear for her wedding. Sensing the opportunity to mess with Reo, who had been inundating you with phone calls almost the entire time the two of you had been dress shopping, you smirked.

“No, you can’t. Your future wife is as picky as you are impatient; I don’t know if she’ll even be able to pick a dress before the place closes for the day. Maybe we can plan on doing something tomorrow?” you said.

“What?” he shrieked. There was a thudding noise over the receiver, and you could only imagine that that meant he had dropped his phone on the ground.

“Hello?” you said. Your only response was a shuffling on the other end of the line, and then a soft breath as the phone was held to someone’s ear.

“Y/N, don’t bother Reo like that when I’m responsible for his emotional wellbeing. It’s so annoying.”

“Nagi,” you said, swallowing at just the sound of his sleepy voice. “Give Reo his phone back.”

“Mm, no can do,” Nagi said, his quiet irritation so strong you could feel its weight settling over your shoulders despite your distance. “He’s run off to call a taxi.”

“Call a — that idiot! Is he planning on coming even though I told him not to?” you said.

“Guess so,” he said. “Oh, man, he’s waving me over. Guess I better go…”

“Hold on a second!” you said.

“Hm?” he said. “Ah — Reo, what the hell? No, I’m not making things strange — stop it!”

You blinked, bemused, as Reo’s muffled voice scolded Nagi while he weakly protested. In the end, Reo must’ve won the spat, for he was the one to speak to you next.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry you had to talk to him. And after I promised you I wouldn’t leave the two of you alone!” Reo said.

“It’s okay, Reo, it was just a phone call. If I was uncomfortable, I would’ve hung up,” you said.

“If you say so. Anyways, we’re on our way,” he said.

“I told you not to come, stupid, not the other way around,” you said.

“And I almost believed you, but then I thought about it a little more, and I realized that there was a high chance that you were full of shit,”he said. “What wedding dress appointment takes this long?”

“You obviously haven’t watched enough reality TV,” you said. “There’s this one show that Ryosuke and I used to watch on the weekends where the brides have to choose their dresses live, and let me tell you, some of those sessions really did last an entire day.”

“Okay, but if a bride is crazy enough to be on a reality television show while picking out her wedding dress, then it’s not a surprise that she’d also be hard to please. May isn’t like that; she’s definitely picky, don’t get me wrong, but not in that way,” he explained.

He said it so familiarly: May isn’t like that. You were almost jealous of the way that he understood her so well, understood her to the point that he would catch a taxi to see her a little earlier because he knew she wasn’t the demanding type. You wanted to be understood like that. You wanted someone to be so comfortable with knowing you again.

“You got me,” you said. “I was just joking around. She finished up a few minutes before you called. If you hadn’t flipped out and dropped your phone before running away, I would’ve said that, as well.”

“You’re such a jerk. You’re a major jerk, did you know that?” Reo said.

“I’ve been told,” you said. He scoffed.

“True,” he said. “Okay, we’ll be there soon. Talk to you then!”

“I think May wants me to start trying dresses on myself now, so I’ll probably be getting changed when you guys get here. You can see me in my options and help me choose, though, if you’d like. Ryosuke is busy, so he can’t, which means you’re my next-best option,” you said.

“Ooh, sounds like a blast,” he said. “You know I’m always up for a fashion show!”

“I know,” you said. “Alright, they’re calling me over, so I should hang up. Bye!”

With that, you ended the call and trotted over to where May was talking with the willowy, long-haired designer who was in charge of constructing her dress — a glamorous man by the name of Jyubei Aryu.

“Are you the maid of honor?” Aryu said when you joined him and May, tucking your phone into your pocket as you did so that it did not distract you.

“I am,” you said.

“Wonderful. I’ve put a dress which I found suitable on the rack in the fitting room; please call for assistance if you need it,” he said.

“Thank you!” you said, going in the direction that he had indicated, ducking into the fitting room and admiring the dress he had provided you with.

It was a blush pink, in keeping with the theme of the wedding, and made of a pretty, expensive fabric that you definitely would not be able to afford if Reo had not insisted on paying for the entire wedding party’s outfits. When you slipped it on, it flowed against your skin like water, and it was just as light and comfortable, too. The intricate detailing on the bodice did not itch, and the skirt swished around your ankles as you took uncertain steps forward, acclimatizing yourself to the feel of the gown before daring to venture out in front of the others.

You knew without even asking their opinions that you wanted to get it. Perhaps Ryosuke would shame you for it — you were growing so terrible at being able to discern his will, so for all you knew, he’d hate the option, but it mattered little to you. You liked the dress. You found it beautiful.

Aryu had graciously left a pair of heels approximately your size by the dress, so that it did not drag on the floor when you walked. Fastening the buckle of the dainty ankle strap, you opened the door to the fitting room and crept out to the waiting area, where you knew May would eagerly be waiting to see what you were in.

“Oh, wow,” May said when you rounded the corner. “Y/N! You look so beautiful!”

“Thank you,” you said. “I really like this one. Do you think it’s appropriate for a maid of honor?”

Hers was the only negative you’d entertain. If she didn’t think that the dress was suitable for her wedding, then you’d let go of the idea, albeit begrudgingly. After all, it was her wedding, and whatever she said was what went.

“It’s perfect,” she said, pretending to wipe away a tear, as if you were the bride and she were your lovingly overbearing mother. “Say yes to the dress, Y/N! Although I’m afraid you’ll outshine me if you’re standing next to me in that.”

“Be real,” you said, rolling your eyes. “No one could ever outshine you, May.”

Just then, the bell on the door chimed, announcing someone’s arrival, though it needn’t have. Only seconds after he had stepped in, Reo was declaring his presence to the public with that same gaudy, business-like professionalism he oozed every time he was forced to engage in high society.

“Hello, hello,” he said, somehow managing to simultaneously nod at the secretary, shake hands with Aryu, and wink at you and May, all without looking harried or awkward. “My apologies for any inconvenience our late arrival might have caused. It seems my fiancée’s dearest maid of honor was finding some humor in giving Nagi and I the old run around.”

“It’s not a problem,” Aryu said. “Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. Mikage.”

“The pleasure’s all mine,” Reo said. “This is Seishiro Nagi, by the way. My best man.”

“It’s good to meet you, too, Mr. Nagi. My wife was a big fan of yours back when you were playing soccer,” Aryu said, holding out his newly-freed hand to Nagi’s in greeting. But Nagi did not take it, far too distracted to even notice, although his phone was for once not in his hands. Reo, who would never let his perfect facade drop in public but obviously wanted to scowl and smack his friend for the rudeness, turned his head to see what could possibly be holding Nagi’s attention if not a screen, and then his eyes widened, because he realized that it was you.

Nagi was gazing over at you in that way only he ever had, that way only he ever could. The weight of his stare was hot and adoring, like there was nothing else in the entire world he could be troubled with, like he’d carry a thousand burdens if it meant that you’d let him collapse at your feet once he grew tired, like you were the one pain he’d willingly take and even seek out. That was the way that Seishiro Nagi gazed at you, and the only thing you could do was cross your arms, like that paltry gesture could ever be enough to ward him off, like you even wanted to ward him off in the first place.

“If you say so,” May sang under her breath, so only you could hear. You startled, having forgotten that she was still standing next to you.

“Ah, Nagi’s not played soccer in a bit,” Reo said, discreetly stepping on Nagi’s foot, breaking him out of his trance. “But I’m sure he appreciates the support. Right, Nagi?”

“Huh?” Nagi said, his eyelashes brushing against his cheeks as he blinked sleepily at Aryu. “Oh. Yeah, right. Does she want an autograph or something?”

“I’m sure she would be delighted!” Aryu said, producing a pad of paper and a pen for Nagi to scrawl his messy signature onto.

“You got your dress?” Reo said, his arm going around May’s waist as he pressed a kiss to her temple. She nodded and beamed up at him.

“It’s amazing,” she said. “The exact kind of dress that I imagined I’d get married in one day.”

“I can’t wait to see it,” he said.

“I wish my mom was here,” May said. “She was so sad that she couldn’t make it in time. I FaceTimed her and all, but it’s not the same, you know?”

“I told your parents not to worry about work or anything,” Reo said, rolling his eyes. “They should’ve just flown over with Y/N and Kira. If their bosses gave them any trouble, I’d have sent lawyers after them or something.”

“Neither of them are comfortable taking advantage of you,” May chided him. “You know that.”

They continued to converse, and you took a step back, feeling as if you were intruding on something private. Rubbing your arm, you stared at the ground, wondering what Ryosuke might be doing back at the hotel. Was he truly taking a nap, as he had claimed? Or was he with another girl again?

Well. Either way, you supposed he was most likely in bed. Snorting at the double entendre, you almost missed Nagi’s soft tap on your shoulder.

“Hi,” he said. You opened your mouth, and then you closed it again, not wanting to be too hasty, not wanting to say something you shouldn’t when Reo and May were right there beside you.

“Hi,” you said back.

“That’s the dress you’re getting for the wedding?” he said.

“Yeah,” you said, adjusting the straps.

“It’s nice,” he said. “You look nice.”

It was such a simple statement that it barely counted as a compliment, but you could not stop the corners of your mouth from twitching as they fought to curve into a smile. After all, hearing things like that from Nagi were so rare — he was never one to find much merit in praising just about anyone.

“Thanks,” you said. “Ryosuke wanted me to choose something pretty, so…”

You saw the way his face closed off at the mention of Ryosuke and immediately cringed, though no one else would even be able to discern the imperceptible shift of his expression. Still, you were quite certain when he shrugged his shoulders slightly in approval that there was distaste brewing in his blank irises, and you bit your tongue, cursing yourself for ruining his mood before pausing.

Why did you care? It was your right to bring up the man you were to marry, wasn’t it? In fact, it was the honorable thing to do, considering your history with Nagi. The reminder was a good thing. A boundary that needed to be set. Something along those lines. So why, then, did it feel wrong? Like you had further torn apart something you might’ve still had a chance at mending?

“He’ll be satisfied, then,” he said. “You’re pretty.”

“Isn’t she?” May said brightly, somehow manifesting at your side, though you had not noticed her walking over. “I told her as much! You should definitely get it, Y/N, if even Nagi can find it in his heart to say something sweet to you about it.”

“Speaking of getting things, Nagi, come on,” Reo said, also appearing from nowhere to tug on Nagi’s sleeve. “We have shopping to do for ourselves. Let’s leave the two of them alone.”

The notion of Reo leaving you alone was so foreign that you almost protested, but then he grinned at you over his shoulder and you recalled his promise, about how he would ensure you and Nagi were not stuck together at any point, as long as it was within his means to keep you both apart.

You didn’t want Nagi to go, though. You didn’t want Reo to keep the two of you apart, but how could you tell him that? Did the words even exist for you to explain any of it? You thought that they mustn’t.

“By the way, I convinced Reo to sleep at Nagi’s tonight,” May said.

“Why would you do that?” you said.

“He should bond with his best man a bit!” she said. “As for me, there’s a lot of bonding that I want to do with you, Miss Maid-of-Honor, and I don’t think you’ll answer my questions if Reo’s within earshot, so this was the perfect idea!”

“I think that I’m not going to like your questions and your bonding very much,” you said.

“Too bad!” she said. “I’m the bride, so you have to do what I say!”

“It’s not your wedding day yet, you know,” you pointed out. “Technically, that doesn’t hold.”

“What happened to you wanting to make my life easier and all of that nonsense?” she said. “I’m just asking you for this one favor, so you really ought to grant it!”

“Okay, okay,” you said. “Let me make sure Ryosuke is fine with me staying at your place again.”

You brought out your phone to call your fiancé, but May snatched it out of your hands the instant he picked up.

“Kira? This is May. Yes, May Ducat, how many Mays do you think Y/N knows and spends time with? She’s going to sleep over again tonight so that she can help me with some preparation stuff. No, you’re right, I’m not asking you, I’m telling you. Uh-huh. Oh my god, did you know my future husband could buy your entire life? Shut up and let me have my best friend for the night! You get her every single day back in America, so now it’s my turn!” she said, making a face.

“May!” you said. She handed you back the phone, showing you that Ryosuke had hung up, and then she gave you a double-thumbs-up.

“We’re set for the night!” she said. “I’m so excited!”

“I was literally at your house earlier today. You should’ve just asked me your questions then,” you said.

“Um, like I said, I doubted you would answer if Reo was around, and anyways, I just came up with some of them now,” she said.

“Whatever,” you said. “Okay. I’m excited, too.”

You were not, considering the types of questions you sensed she was going to ask, but when she tackled you in a hug and promised you that you would have so, so much fun, it was hard to say that aloud.

Luckily, all of your things were still at May and Reo’s, so after everything was bought and paid for, with shipping arranged via one of Reo’s assistants, you could go straight to their house instead of having to stop at the hotel again. Reo, who had taken a cab back to get his car before dropping you off, waved merrily as the two of you stepped into the driveway.

“Have a nice night, both of you!” he said.

“You, too. Try to finish that one zombie adventure thing you and Nagi started last month. I don’t want to hear about it on our honeymoon,” May said.

“Actually, we both got the new Pokémon games while we were waiting for you to finish choosing your dress, so we’re going to start those together tonight and see who can beat the Champion first,” Reo said.

“Make sure to choose the fire type starter, then,” she said seriously. “They’re always the best ones.”

“No, Nagi usually chooses water, so I have to pick grass, just in case he challenges me to a battle at some point,” Reo said.

“Only lame people choose grass,” May said. “I always go for fire. What about you, Y/N?”

“I’ve only played Pokémon once, and it wasn’t my game, so I didn’t even finish it,” you said. “And I picked the one I thought was the cutest. I do think it was the fire one, though.”

“That’s what I like to see!” May said, high-fiving you.

“And how many battles have either of you beaten Nagi in?” Reo said. “That’s right, zero. So I don’t want to hear it!”

“How many battles have you beaten Nagi in?” May said. Reo glared at her.

“See you tomorrow,” he said, rolling the window up and driving off without another word.

“If only the girls at my high school had known what a big baby Reo really is,” you said. “They wouldn’t have made a fan club for him.”

“He actually had a fan club?” May said. “He told me that that wasn’t real!”

“It was real,” you affirmed. “Believe me. The Reo Mikage Fan Club and I have a long and storied history, so you should trust me more than him on the topic.”

“Were you a member?” she said, unlocking the front door and ushering you in. You choked on your saliva at the mere prospect.

“No way!” you said, sitting down on a bar stool at the kitchen counter while May dug around in her cabinets.

“Found it!” she said, brandishing a box of grocery store mac and cheese. “Reo would have a fit if he knew this was in our house, so I’ve kept it hidden away for a special occasion, but what’s more special than this? Also, I was just kidding.”

“Remember when we made Reo eat those cups of mac and cheese that you make in the microwave and he almost threw up?” you said.

“Yup,” she said. “And then he started complaining about the chemicals and additives and whatnot! As if that’s not half of the fun and flavor.”

“That must’ve been before Chigiri had the fire department called on him for forgetting the water in his microwave noodles,” you said. “The RA banned their microwave after that, right?”

“Oh, jeez, I forgot that that happened! They used to have to come to our room to warm up their leftovers,” May said, shaking her head. “What a time.”

“Do you miss it?” you said.

“Being in college?” she said. “Yes and no. I miss being your roommate and seeing you all of the time, and I miss how carefree everything was back then, but at the same time, I’m really happy now. I wouldn’t trade those years for anything, but I don’t mind that they’re over. Whatever comes next, I’m sure it’ll be great in its own way, even if it’s different. Maybe especially because it’s different.”

“That’s a good way of looking at things,” you said.

“What about you?” she said.

“The same, I guess. I miss everyone being together,” you said. “I still have Ryosuke and Chigiri, but it’s not the same without you and Reo there. My life is much more stable now, so that’s a positive, but sometimes I do wish I could go back and change things.”

“What would you change?” May said.

“I’m not sure,” you said. “It’s just a thought. I wish I could know what my life would look like now if I had followed a different path at some point or another, you know?”

“You told me earlier that you weren’t happy,” she said, putting down a dish of macaroni in front of you, sitting down at your side with her own plate. “That you were satisfied, but not happy.”

“That’s right,” you said.

“Why can’t you be both?” she said. “Why can’t you be happy and satisfied with your life?”

“I just can’t,” you said.

“There is a reason,” she said. “Tell me. I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s wrong!”

“You can’t help me regardless,” you said bitterly, stabbing a clump of pasta with your fork. “I gave up my chance at happiness for the sake of my future, that’s all. I left it behind in search of the very life I have now. You’ve known since we met that I don’t have any particular dreams; if my existence is mundane and tired, then it’s okay. That’s my goal. Not everyone gets to be Cinderella like you, May.”

“Left it behind in search of the very life you have now…” May muttered, narrowing her eyes at you. Although psychology had not been her degree, it was suddenly so clear why she had chosen to minor in it — she was uncannily good at reading people. “It, or him?”

You dropped your fork. “What did you just say?”

“Correct once again!” she said triumphantly. “I’ve been suspecting it for a bit. There’s someone else, isn’t there? I was so sure it was Chigiri, but I could never find the final bit of proof for that theory, so I was forced to dismiss it. This led to a new puzzle, though: if not Chigiri, then who? You’ve always tended to avoid talking to guys, at least as long as we’ve been friends, so the list of options was pretty limited.”

“Why does everyone think Chigiri and I are secretly dating?” you said, throwing your hands up in the air. “You’re not the first person to accuse me of it, and for some reason, I feel like you won’t be the last.”

“Don’t distract me when I’m on a roll!” she said, pointing her fork at you. “Anyways, it was bothering me for a while, but after last night and today, I was finally able to put it together.”

“You didn’t put shit together,” you said frantically. “May, you didn’t put anything together. Don’t say it.”

“I’ve never seen Nagi look at anyone the way he looked at you in that dress,” she said. “That was the first clue. From there, it all began to make sense. Why else would he come to dinner when he never agrees to such outings on any other occasion? What other reason could there be for your awkward relationship? You said that you hated him for a complicated reason. Well, this is definitely complicated! For one, you’ve been lying to everyone about the true nature of your feelings — that is to say, you are, or at some point were, in love with Seishiro Nagi!”

“I don’t like this bonding activity anymore,” you said. “Let’s do something else. Wanna play cards?”

“Wait, I’m actually right? I mean, of course I am, I’m always right,” she said. “I can’t believe it, though. How does that even make sense? You guys are total opposites.”

“Obviously we are. Don’t you think that there’s a reason it didn’t work out between the two of us?” you said. “You are right, as usual. When we were in high school, Nagi and I were together. The break up was mutually agreed upon and for both of our benefits. It was a long time ago, and in the grand scheme of things, largely inconsequential. Happy now?”

“If you were telling the truth, I would be,” she said. “Let me guess which part you were lying about…hm. I think that that relationship wasn’t inconsequential in the slightest.”

“When you’re in high school, every relationship feels earth-shattering and all-consuming. That doesn’t mean it is,” you said. “At the time, he was important to me.”

“And now he’s not?” she said.

“Now he can’t be,” you said. “I’m engaged. I’ve moved on, and so has he. He was the one to do so first, actually. I didn’t start dating Ryosuke until I realized that there was no point in looking backwards, not when the rest of the world will leave you behind if you get stuck like that.”

“What the fuck,” May said, holding her head in her hands as you continued to eat your dinner. You didn’t blame her for the dramatics; her entire view of your history had just been shifted, and not necessarily for the better. “Y/N. What the fuck. Kira was your second choice? I thought you were totally crazy about him!”

“First choice, second choice, does it matter?” you said. “He’s the one I’ll wed.”

“Do you wish it was Nagi instead?” she said.

“No,” you said. “He deserves better. He always has. Even back then, he deserved someone better than me. I’m glad I’m not marrying him.”

“Woah, woah, woah. That’s just about the opposite thing I was expecting you to say. He deserves better? He’s probably too lazy to even shower properly! If anyone deserves better, it’s you,” she said.

You took a sip of water to clear the thick feeling from your tongue. “It might seem that way, but to be frank, I’m a very hard person to love. Just ask my parents and Ryosuke if you don’t believe me. Nagi should be with someone who isn’t a pain, and though he never said so, I know I was always a hassle for him.”

“Why would you say something like that about yourself? You’re not hard to love,” she said. You exhaled, pushing your now-empty plate away and resting your chin in your hands.

“When I was a child, my parents only cared about one thing,” you said. “Whether I’d grow up to be beautiful enough to seduce the son of a rich man. Not whether he’d love me — love doesn’t matter, you see. People can fall in and out of love quite easily. Financial obligations, duty, the law…those are things you can rely on. Would I be beautiful enough to stand by a wealthy man’s side? To be worthy of bearing his children and binding him to me forever? They were obsessed with that question and its answer, and that obsession had its consequences.”

May was quiet for a moment as she took your words in. “I didn’t know that.”

“Don’t blame yourself. I didn’t tell you. I’ve only ever managed to tell one other person all of this,” you said.

“Reo?” she guessed. You laughed sadly.

“Reo? No, not him. I wish that I could, but he’s not the sort of person I can talk to about these types of issues. He has his own, more pressing problems,” you said. Understanding dawned on her face.

“Nagi,” she said. “You told Nagi.”

“I did,” you said. “He knows more about me than anyone in the entire world. The truth, since you’re so determined to figure it out, is that I loved him back then, May, though I should have known better. Love is never enough. You can’t save someone just by loving them, and neither can you change who they really are.”

May cocked her head. “Huh? Y/N, what do you mean by that? What…what really happened between the two of you? Because obviously, Reo had no clue what was going on, and I’ve only ever heard about your high school years from him.”

“What happened between the two of us? It was a series of mistakes, the biggest of which were allowing him to fall for me and falling for him in return,” you said. “It’s really hard to live a life without love once you’ve known it. I keep searching for it in places that it won’t ever exist, but deep in my heart, I’m aware that I’ll never be able to find it again, not in any way that lasts. Not in any way that resembles what I had during my last year in Japan, in those few months I spent with Seishiro Nagi.”

taglist (comment/send an ask to be added): @mariyumemi @naatggeo @prettyarsxnist @noble-17 @rinitoshisgirl @stuckindreamland06 @little-miss-chaoss

#nagi x reader #nagi x y/n #nagi x you #nagi seishiro #bllk x reader #bllk #blue lock #reader insert #modern au #peregrine #m1ckeyb3rry writes

64 notes · View notes

vanillaxoshi · 9 months ago

Note

Elementals Seperated - 45 second hug

Halilintar had hoped Boboiboy wouldn’t do anything that completely disregards his survival when he was gone.

Who is he kidding. This is Boboiboy, the same kid that did everything for his friends, who fought machines and weapons many times his size. Of course he would go after them. Of course he would fight Kaizo. And he actually won.

Well, too bad Fang had to face Ying and Yaya’s wrath, but he’ll live. Aliens are very sturdy after all.

It’s embarrassing really, but this is the least he could do right now. Boboiboy had prodded him about it a few times too. A little positive reinforcement should be good? He also made sure his brothers aren’t around, they’ll tease him about it til they implode or explode someday.

“After a short evaluation of your performance in the battle, I believe it’s only fitting there’s a reward for it.”. His master has a rather suprised expression when Halilintar said it. He wonders why.

“Ah, sorry. I didn’t expect you to compliment me like that” Boboiboy giggled while scratching the back of his head.

“What did you expect?”

“You usually lectured me about being reckless and all…”

“It’s true that I still want you to have more self preservation, but I’ll let it slide this time. You and your friends… You did well. So I’ll let you hug me for 4 to 5 seconds”

As soon as Halilintar looked at his master again, he regretted saying that.

“45 seconds?”

“No-“

“Too late!”

Just like that, Boboiboy now has his arms wrapped around him. The spirit of lightning could only sigh. Prying him off isn’t an option, he’s stubborn, and he doesn’t want to hurt him either. Stuck in a hug (that he doesn’t want to admit is nice) it is then.

“Alright, but you’re letting me go after 45 seconds”

“Deal”

They stayed there, both silently counting the time. Eventually, Halilintar made it known 45 seconds has passed

“Sorry about that! I just thought you could use a longer hug too”

“What makes you think that?”

“Intuition?”

“Your intuition is impulsive”

“It’s quick thinking!”

“There’s a difference between quick thinking and impulse”

Halilintar had hoped Boboiboy would have some form of survival instincts after all this time, but it seems such instincts are fickle.

For example, now. Lightning strikes carrying devastating attacks flying everywhere. With an unstable master and an uncooperative spirit, such destruction is unavoidable. No matter what damage control he tried, this is about as good as it gets. Yet, Boboiboy and Rimba, his master and his brother still pushed on.

It amazes him how impulsive, yet brave plans Boboiboy come up with are. Instead of simply waiting this time, he reached for them as well, felt the pull of the drain, and the lightning elemental was out of the blade.

Boboiboy Rimba felt a pair of arms around him, and it was indeed, Halilintar. Warmth, suprise, joy all at once. Hali is back.

They would have hugged longer if the situation allowed it, but that will have to wait. He returns to the watch where he belonged, where his brothers are waiting.

“It’s over now, Kira”

- By SP Anon, in celebration of Gur’latan arc coming to Webtoon!

Hugs

#boboiboy #xoshi asks #xoshi answers #bbb elements separated au #art #have a feeling youll be here more #had to draw it.#sp scenarios #sp anon

59 notes · View notes

kurokawaia · 5 months ago

Text

❛ LOOKIE HERE ❜

Death Note X Fem!Reader (implied L x reader)

WC; 600+┊!MDNI! ┊TW; none, just a slight crack warning

⋆·˚ ༘ * 𝑅𝐸𝒬𝒰𝐸𝒮𝒯 :: (filled request) y/n can travel between (anime) universes and basically reveals to L (and maybe the others in the team) that light in fact kira and just whips out downloaded episode clips where light clearly states he's Kira with the death note and ryuk in them from the anime - ANON

m.list | death note m.list

You had been working with L and his team for a number of weeks now. The unusual ability to travel between anime universes made you quite an unexpected ally in the investigation against Kira. Your insights, combined with occasional 'coincidences,' won their trust, and even a peculiar sense of cameraderie, with L himself.

By now, the headquarters of L had almost become a second home. You had grown accustomed to endless piles of documents and reports and also frequent, heated disputes about the case. Still, despite some seriousness in the investigation, there was a kind of hidden warmth in your relations with L and his colleagues.

He had taken quite an interest in your weird, diverse knowledge of the many universes and often asked some very interesting questions. You were more than happy to indulge him in details about worlds he had never dreamed of.

Little did they know, you were only biding your time for a reveal you couldn't wait to show them, especially L and Light.

L and the others were busy with their usual paperworks when you burst in, grasping a tablet like it held the secrets of the universe or something.

"Hey, everyone! Guess what? I have got something that is going to blow all of your minds!" you exclaimed as mysteriously as you could.

L tilted an eyebrow. He was clearly interested. "And that might be?

"Something juicy," you said, trying to wink away the grin already spreading over your face. "You remember how Light's been a bit too chill about this whole Kira thing? Well, I got a little video to show you."

You turned on the tablet, playing a clip of the anime where Light Yagami had his dramatic monologue about being Kira, complete with Ryuk's creepy chuckle in the background. You then leaned back, crossing your arms as if you did the greatest magic trick ever.

The room fell silent. Light's eyes went wide as he viewed himself on screen. He attempted to act cool, but the sweat beginning to form on his forehead gave him away.

"No way!" Light said, attempting to laugh it off. "This is—this isn't real!"

"It's as real as L's love for sweets," you replied with a smirk. "This is from a universe where people actually watch anime about this stuff.

L bent forward, his interest piqued. "This is quite a revelation. But if this is some real footage, then it explains a lot." Light looked as though he was going to blow a gasket. "Wait just a minute here! How did you even get this? And why show it to us now?" You shrugged. "I thought you guys needed a little pick-me-up. Plus, it's always good to have a laugh before the serious stuff."

L's eyes sparkled with mirth. "Well, it seems you have given us the last missing piece of the puzzle. After all, how often can one say a TV program exposed our man?"

The others in the team burst into laughter, no doubt feeling relieved and rather amused by this totally unexpected turn of events. Light's various attempts to explain himself were drowned out by a symphony of sarcastic remarks and indulgent chuckles.

As the team headed out to confront Light, you found yourself spending a lot more time with L. What had been a very tense investigation was now lightened off by the relaxed atmosphere brought on by your unexpected reveal.

On one evening, after a really funny day watching more anime clips and just having a ball, L cornered you with an expression that was really serious—but you saw the really playful glint in his eyes.

"I must say, you've been a…fascinating addition to our team," L said, trying to sound all formal but failing miserably. "Your unique approach to problem-solving is…refreshing."

You laughed. "Refreshing, huh? Is that what you call it?"

L nodded, a rare smile creeping onto his face. "Indeed. And I must admit, I'm growing quite fond of you."

Your heart missed a beat. "Fond, huh? Well, I suppose I've grown rather fond of you too."

L locked his eyes onto yours. "You became more than an ally. You have been a friend."

That confession took you by surprise, though the feelings for L had grown inside you during that time you spent together. Your eyes raised to meet his. He wasn't some 2-D character anymore, there on the screen, real and read in 3D.

"I feel the same," you admitted softly.

Do not steal, copy, modify, etcReblogs and likes are appreciated

m.list | death note m.list

#l x reader #l x you #l x yn #death note x you #death note x reader

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bijoumikhawal · 8 months ago

Text

A devil like you

(Read on AO3)

It was a crass little game. Well, kotra wasn't- while Garak's eyes often dilated at tense parts, enraptured by the prospect of winning and loosing, nothing came of it. It wasn't that thrilling.

Not by itself.

The dice had been a tongue in cheek gift from Jadzia at her Trill New Year's party. Sisko had gotten a similar pair, and judging by the tops of Kira's ears, so had she.

Julian had set them on the table, sober faced, as Garak set up the kotra board.

Garak kept a straight face as he looked them over. "I don't know how you expect to incorporate these into a game that doesn't use six-sided dice."

"They're for after the game." Julian leaned to the side, picking up his tea from the side table. "The winner- no, loser, rolls. Whatever the result is, is what the winner gets to do them, if they like it."

"And if the winner doesn't?"

"The loser rolls again."

Garak tilted his head, demeanor cool in sharp contrast to his gaze. "Does kotra bore you, doctor?"

"No. But a change of pace is always welcome." Julian's own demeanor was betrayed by a pounding heart.

Garak's mouth twitched into a smile, and he inclined his head. "Well then. Let's get started, shall we?"

Kotra usually lasted two or three hours between them.

This game went on four hours, twenty-seven minutes, and fifty-three seconds- ending with all of Garak's pieces captured, or backed into corners.

Julian had played well, but not aggressively. There had been a chance Garak would win. It wasn't fun otherwise- and it wasn't like Garak seemed too put out by loosing.

He leaned back, reciting the polite ending of the game that Garak had drilled into him. "Thank you, as always, for the exercise in wit."

"Of course." The dice were comically large, so Garak only picked up one. "And thank you for the lesson in grace."

The die, in turn, were actions and objects. This one was action. It spun over the table, landing on a simple, if crude depiction of two people entwined. Garak's face remained unmoved. The second die landed on "blindfold".

Garak's hand stuttered in mid air.

Julian watched him carefully as he got up out of his chair. Garak’s eyes flicked away from the dice, tracking him.

Intent. But carefully neutral.

Julian pulled out Garak’s basket of remnants and carefully selected a soft brocade already cut to a good size. Crossing back to the table, he carefully drew the cloth over his friend's face, tying it firm. "Not too loose?"

"No."

Julian circled the chair, already burning with anticipation. Yet more heat flared in him as he drank in the sight. Garak, sitting, docile, a sense stripped away from his use. A weakness created. "Perhaps I should tie your hands too."

Garak was rubbing his fingernails back and forth over the upholstery. "With my clothes still on?"

Julian smiled. "Alright, good point." He grabbed Garak’s wrist, guiding him to the bed.

Garak sat primly, and began undressing himself. Julian began shedding his own clothes too, grateful he'd worn a shirt that fastened- he didn't have to break his gaze on Garak. Though he couldn't see, his movements were smooth. It wasn't a typically seductive display- but Julian wasn't always typical.

It took Garak longer to undress than him, simply because he wore so many layers. Julian considered telling him to stop at his "supportive garment"- the cool, clinical term Cardassians used for what really amounted to a corset- but let him be. He could explore that later.

Garak's knees parted after he finished, already anticipating.

"Ah, I'm sorry if it's a disappointment, but that's not how we're doing this."

The top of Garak's brow ridge twitched. "But the dice-"

Julian sat in his lap. "The dice don't specify who is doing what. I feel well in my rights to interpret them, seeing as how I won." He grabbed Garak’s hand and guided it down. "Now, I'm sure I don't need to tell someone older the importance of preparation?"

Garak's fingers sank into his cunt. Julian rolled his hips down on them, biting his lip. He watched Garak’s lips part- the motion of vague shadows just inside them giving away that he was scenting the air. Usually he was only so obvious about it when surprised.

"I have told you you should savor your meals more." Garak said, almost bored, almost professorial. "It seems that would benefit you in other areas as well- I've never laid hands on you and found it this wet before."

"Hm." Julian leaned forwards, pushing Garak down by the shoulders. "Is that fault mine, or have the rumors of Cardassians and their lengthy foreplay been greatly exaggerated?" Julian rolled his hips down on those fingers again, watching the faint blue flush that appeared not long after he'd brought out the dice deepen.

Garak hummed, the sound blending with the rumbling noise that betrayed Cardassian arousal. "I believe the problem lies within that- little problem of cross cultural communication."

"Yes. You do have to make an effort to reach people where they're at." Julian said dryly.

Garak laughed. "Reach is hardly a problem for me. And you're well aware of that."

Julian pulled at Garak then, encouraging him to switch their positions. "Do I? I think my memory needs to be jogged."

Garak braced his arms by Julian's shoulders. He was still scenting so obviously. "Well, doctor. I can certainly help with that." His hips pressed against Julian's, and he everted. His cock left a slick trail that crossed Julian's hip.

Garak muttered his annoyance, and Julian laughed.

"Did being blindfolded make you more confident, dove?" He couldn't help it- not even a month ago Garak had dismissed the idea of being able to evert directly inside your partner as a ridiculous fantasy in the vast majority of circumstances, given many Cardassians supposedly abhorred oral. "I- ah!"

Garak had shut him up by properly positioning himself and sinking inside him.

Julian closed his eyes a moment and let out a long breath. The feel of Garak inside him... Julian's sexual history hardly lacked variety. And, in that variety he found it hard to do any sort of "ranking". But... he was, to put it delicately, incredibly fond of many things about Garak.

Garak's breathing was already trembling. Julian opened his eyes.

Garak's breathing wasn't the only thing trembling. His arms, where they held him up just above Julian, were shaking.

"Garak?"

Garak’s breaths were deep, but thankfully even. It became clear he was making an effort.

"Garak."

Julian’s hand alighted behind Garak’s head, fingers resting on the knot he'd tied- only for his wrist to be grabbed.

"I'm fine, doctor. This is merely- intense."

Julian pinched the knot between his fingers before letting go. He rested his hand on the back of Garak’s neck instead, fingers slipping through dark hair to gently scratch at scales. Garak let out the shudder that broke through the trembling.

"Relax your arms." Julian pulled at his elbow, encouraging it to bend. "There? Isn't that better?"

Garak grunted against Julian's neck, giving a gentle roll of his hips. Julian clenched around him, pulling a sharper sound out.

"More, Garak. You know how I like it." Julian bit the ridges running up his jaw.

"How demanding." Garak muttered as he acquiesced with firmer, more frequent rolls of his hips against Julian.

Julian amended his future plans- next time, he would not only bind Garak and blindfold him, he'd gag him too, and figure out just how much it took to milk a Cardassian dry. With his clothes still on, indeed.

Julian moved his hips to meet Garak, the image filling his mind for a moment- Garak struggling even as arousal took him, complaining, unable to complain, laying wrecked and stinking of sex. The red suit would be good- Julian adored it, almost too much to ruin it. His hand squeezed the back of Garak’s neck, making him tremor with pleasure again.

He teased the neck ridge before him with his mouth.

Garak's hips froze a moment. "Ah, my dear-"

"Getting close already?" Julian gave his scales a nip, still holding him close. "Don't worry, Garak. You won't disappoint me. I wouldn't let you."

Garak's teeth clenched around nothing. His cock throbbed harder inside Julian.

Julian's other hand wandered down, squeezing Garak’s ass and pulling his body hard against Julian's. "Keep going."

Julian muttered in Garak’s ear- more, harder, you know the angle I like, use it. He could feel tension growing in Garak- not just the tension of his arousal. He wanted something.

Julian knew exactly what it was, and kept it to himself. For the moment.

Garak's body, heavy and solid, pressed onto him, always brought Julian a thrill. Having that weight over him, at his command, was a true delight.

"Doctor- my dear." Garak's voice was desperate in his ear.

Julian hooked one leg over Garak’s hip. "Go on, dove. Be good to me- give me everything you have."

And then he bit Garak's neck ridge, ravenous, hand tightening on the back of his neck as though the thought of escape was something Garak could even fathom.

Garak let out a choked noise as his irllun flared inside Julian, his hands scrabbling against the sheets, tearing them. Julian could taste something vaguely metallic- he hadn't quite meant to go that far. He moved his hips up against Garak, holding him with even pressure as his torrential, leisurely orgasm rolled through, grinding the tip of his cock against Garak’s scales.

It didn't take him long to follow.

Garak laid on top of him, body limp. Julian carefully unclenched his jaw- there was only a little blood, not enough that it was trickling away. He pressed a fingertip against the edge of the wound. Garak let out a sound that was almost a whimper.

A vague guilt rose in Julian, but he pushed it away. "I didn't think it'd taste like that."

Garak's breath, shaky, ghosted over Julian's skin. "Ever the scientist."

Julian looped his arm around Garak’s back as he sat up. "Of course." He let Garak slump back a bit, enough that Julian could see his face. "Thank you, as always, for the lesson in wit."

In lieu of the proper reply, Garak groaned.

#cipher talk #garashir #My writing #Ds9 #Nsft

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ynverse · 2 years ago

Text

chemical imbalance

L x gn! reader | fluff

a/n: i want to cause a chemical imbalance in his brain so badly

“it seems like you have caused a chemical imbalance within my body.”

your head whipped towards L at his random outburst. it wasn’t unusual for the man to ignore social cues, or be wholly inept and unaware of the clues at all, but this sentence felt different.

“ryuzaki, what,” you questioned, putting down some files regarding the third kira, “is this your way of saying you suspect me of being the second kira again? we have already proven misa was the second kira.”

if this were another accusation, you would probably rip your hair out of frustration. you suspected light of being the first kira - more like knew he was after he randomly gained misa amane as a “girlfriend.” understandably, your connection to light made the notorious L wary of you being the second kira - the idea of childhood friends sticking together wasn’t one he could rule out. thankfully, misa’s sudden appearance cleared your name - though, the detective wanted you to stay with the task force for the time being to prove you had zero relation to the case. L also valued the fact that you could push your emotions aside and try to help solve the case, something he grew to appreciate more when soichiro finally accepted your word against light’s and viewed his son as a possibility.

“frankly speaking, the likelihood of you being kira at some point in time will never be completely zero,” L calmly stated, his teeth barely brushing against his calloused thumb, “however, this is not directly about the kira case.”

“oh?”

you couldn’t help but tilt your head slightly, wondering what he meant. it wasn’t unheard of for you to be stumped by the man deemed the world’s greatest detective (the world’s top three greatest detectives apparently) but something told you this was different. to be honest, you didn’t even think he had the capacity or desire to think about anything beyond the kira case. he spent dollar after dollar, risked life and limb, and even resorted to morally grey techniques to get this far…the idea of him focused on anything else seemed absurd.

“my ventral tegmental area started producing dopamine around you.”

“uhm,” you hummed aloud, “am i supposed to understand what you mean?”

the detective only let his shoulders sag even more, seemingly annoyed he had to explain to you further. L greatly understood that there was a price for everything but he couldn’t help but feel aggravated at times when he had to explain himself. it was an easy deduction in his mind, one so simple that an explanation shouldn’t be needed. there was also a nagging in his mind that was not from intellectual superiority. a nagging that felt like he shouldn’t explain himself for fear of actually being understood. logically, it made sense for him to want to fault you for the feelings that have risen inside of him but his heart was suddenly trying to sway the detective’s reasoning. human emotions are such fickle things, always hindering the logical capabilities of the species is capable of.

sentience lies within emotions. that is what made humans scientifically the better species, as many researchers like to argue, but L felt as if it was the opposite. his owlish eyes only glinted in them when he knew he has won a game, his childish nature only appearing at times when others would deem it insignificant. L did not need emotions to hinder him. he saw the way soichiro looked over at his son with loving eyes and a strong sense of familial connection, completely ignoring the fact that his son is a likely candidate for the world’s most wanted. L did not want to be blinded by emotion, but it was not in his nature to go down feebly.

“dopamine plays a huge role in addiction miss y/n. it jumps from each of our neurons and builds a pathway for the stimuli to take over our whole brain. then the nucleus accumbens increases the production of dopamine. this causes the adrenal gland to become active which manufactures adrenaline and norepinephrine; our flight or fight response is now present - though i suppose it is now flight, fight, freeze, fawn, or submit. do you understand where i am leading,” L tilted his head, his owlishly dark eyes gazing straight at yours.

you honestly understood maybe seventy-five percent of what he said at most. you would look around the room to get help from others — a common occurrence as no one could keep up with the eccentric detective — but it was just you and L present at the moment. typically, these small moments between the two of you were interrupted by a discovery or watari bringing snacks to help the both of you focus. you liked the idea of the aloof man beside you speaking and interacting like normal, as normal as he can get, but you were beginning to feel a little frustrated by his statements. for one, they made you feel incredibly stupid as you couldn’t process the words he was saying at the speed at which he did. secondly, you were close to finding a link to the third kira but that was now lost in your mind as the detective managed to garner all your attention. and lastly, you were irritated by how pretty he seemed to be with the blue light from the screens radiating off his ghostly pale skin. the man who, although justified, is aiming to put her best friend behind bars. the man who uses moral grey but legal techniques to gain victory. the man who probably saw her as a pawn, maybe even a bishop if she was lucky, in this chess match constructed by him and light… the man who was beside you. this wasn’t a place for emotions but would you be human if you didn’t seem to show immense sentience at the worst times?

“ryuzaki, please speak japanese or even english - just not whatever this is,” you sighed exasperatedly.

L moved his thumb from his bottom lip and let out a small sigh, “you are clouding my judgment. when you are around, my frontal lobe doesn’t seem to be occupying at full capacity even when i sit the way i do. my amygdala seems broken; the idea of you being kira in any sense seems to be statistically plausible yet i cannot fathom it. you are hindering my detective work and my capabilities - though, i do not anticipate it as purposeful which is more frustrating. i think it would be safe to assume i have feelings for you.”

“romantic feelings ryuzaki? or platonic? no offense,” you started, seeing his eyes analyze your every move, “but you don’t seem like the type to be able to tell the difference.”

“if it was strictly platonic, my frontal lobe and amygdala would not be as hindered. it seems more plausible to me that these feelings are romantic.”

you could only stare at him, unaware of the heat rising to your face and your hands playing with themselves. you both knew this was not the time to build strong emotional attachments to one another but who were you at your core if not someone who yearned for affection?

“based on your reaction, i assume you feel the same way…or at least aren’t appalled by the idea,” L turned back towards the screen, a ghost of a smile on his lips, “we do not have to do anything about this at the moment, I rather have us both be safe from kira before we try to progress or discuss anything between us.”

you simply nodded before looking back at the files on the yotsuba group, pretending to focus as you try to gaze at the detective from the corner of your eyes. this wasn’t the time for romance but you both would try and make the time available as soon as possible. however, for now, you two would enjoy the comfort of knowing the feelings were mutual and that at the end of this path, someone would be waiting for you with open arms.

#death note x reader #death note fanfic #death note #lawliet x reader #l lawliet #l lawliet x reader #l x reader #ryuzaki x reader #ryuzaki #lawliet fanfic #l fanfic #fluff #oneshot #death note oneshot

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searchingforserendipity25 · 1 month ago

Text

Spark To Embers. DS9. On AO3.

I haven't told this to anyone , Doctor Bashir had started; the look in his eyes dire and fire-bright. An informed choice must be made, should Bareil’s body fail.

I haven't told this to anyone, but no one has ever needed to know as much as you, Vedek . And so Bashir had given Bareil his name, his first name, a dead child's name. It might mean a number of things in his language.

“Would I still be able to remember my faith?”

“I do not know.”

“The Prophets, my people, my -” Nerys, smiling, robe slipping down her shoulder, her hard-won laughter better than drink and rest to him. Again, lower, aching: “My people.”

The Doctor’s eyes flickered downwards for an instant, neither an accord nor a denial. “I do not know. We cannot know. I am - very sorry it has come to this, Vedek.”

Bareil found it difficult to look at him, now. Decency demanded he look away, though he knew it was not the Human way, and Bashir was not one of his faithful.

Still: he had told him a terrible truth, to ease a terrible choice. This was to be the first time anyone gave Bareil the gift of their grief, to be stared and well-kept and prayed over. Bareil's gratitude swelled against the faltering of his lungs, cleared his head with a rush of wind as sweet as the Lonar Province mountain-breeze.

A gift, though Bashir might not intend it like that. This last service Bareil had a means to give, which came to him as a warning. Bareil took it as a warning, if only because Bashir so fiercely believed it to be: if you replace the parts to maintain a shell of the sum, the thing that remains is not alive. Not real, in any sense of the world.

“Doctor, I am of no use if I cannot serve my people. I know you understand. Major Kira always said you were very-”

“Foolish? Callow - self-centered, terribly conceited?

“Young. But a good Doctor, and a deeply compassionate man. If a little unaware of his affect.”

Bashir let out a mirthless sound. “Believe me, I am always aware. I cannot be otherwise - I was made so. As intricate and regulated as a machine.”

“I wish I could tell you I was all that. That I was a fool of the first order, an idealist, a kind medical practitioner. But I cannot know. I can't even quite tell if I'm lying, masking myself as myself, to go unnoticed and - unfeared. I am in too deep, Vedek. There is no way to know.”

“And if I do decide to have both halves of my brain fully replaced, to go with the lungs, the kidneys, the heart?”

“Your memory centers could be transferred, the synaptic patterns repeated as well as we could. I can make no guarantees. None.”

“I would look like myself, talk like myself. But would I be myself? I can feel the difference now. Half of me is gone already. You can ask,” he added, because Bashir looked thirsty to know.

“Gone how, exactly? If you could quantify it.”

“Distant. Time slips away from me, I think. And I am lacking in sentiment.” Sentiment had long been Bajor’s strength, its resistant heart.

Distant, he had told Nerys, and felt her grasp on him tighten as if it were a hand he had held years ago. More a memory of a touch than the touch itself; more a memory of himself than his own mind - quick and slow, hesitant, forceful. A riverbed in drought, remembering the shape of the current, empty of life.

Distant, a glass in between and many years too: his mother cursing the sterile soil, his sisters looking back as the soldiers took them away, dying in the cot by the spluttering oven.

Antos, nearly a man, working in the monastery’s garden, cursing the soil, cursing the Prophets. That was the year before they were moved to Reliketh, the refugee camp with its noises, its business, its absence of birds and green growing smells.

Small fists, gritty with dirt, striking some kind Vedek’s chest, fighting consolation to fight grief. Prayer had not come easily to him, it had only ever been a punishment for his misbehavior, then a choice. The only choice.

He stretched out his hand, now. Grasped Bashir’s arm, a grounding touch, to test the reality of it. Bones, muscle, the same false wool Nerys donned day after day. Heartening, nonetheless, how the Doctor bent to him, let himself be a grounding thing.

“How do you do it?”

“My case is not equivalent, by far. Enough of a comparison that it was my only point of reference, and one I felt you ought to know about. But my alterations involved natural cerebral tissue. And I was much younger.”

“A child,” Berail said. Not a question. Intuition, not so much the wisdom of the Prophets; this situation was so wholly touched by the Prophets his every sense was dome in their likenesses, their will guided his thinking. His own, and not.

As all things were, for those who devoted themselves to faithful service.

More certain of that, now. That Bashir spoke as he did, was as he was: a guide. Made in perfect measure to this task, and as much a heart turned to service as his, an understanding many could pretend at, and not grasp.

“The child is dead.”

“I do not know if there is a correct courtesy, what the human kindness is.”

Bashir's was all sharp movement, so tight a flinch Barel’s own bones ached with the tension of it. “There is none, for people like myself.”

“Then I am sorry for your grief, and that as well,” Bareil said. Paltry speech. “If I may say it”

Bashir’s mouth twitched. His throat moved, soundless. He doesn’t know when to stop talking, was what Nerys had actually said. It’s maddening, it really is.

Bareil had spoken many times in confidence with survivors of skirmishes and raids and banal, horrible violences. What words did you give to the one sibling whose sweats grew cold and then grew to nothing? All comfort was a comfort to someone who outlived themselves, but not often quite so definitely.

The shadows and deepening lines on his face were not unbeautiful, though it was difficult to Bareil to imagine them deliberate. Two faceless parents, deciding on a series of simulations. This, yes, my son will frown so at this age, and smile like this, laugh

They must have loved him. He had seen so many deeds done in love, during the Occupation. Bareil's own parents had gone to great lengths, so he might live; at least for a time. Great lengths. Before he chose to devote himself to the Prophets, and endanger all his family –

This that had been done to him had been done in the Federation, for the pleasure of Federation principles and preferences, on whom Bajor depended still. Faith assured even to the last, Bareil could lie back wry and satisfied; he had done as he ought.

Peace, yes, they needed peace with Cardassia, a chance to stand on their own, with an Emissary for the transition and men like Bashir to stand as witness.

“If you were not yourself already, of course, it would be different,” Bashir was saying, words pressing against the silence. Bareil had lost time, lost the will to hold onto it. “Mechanical lifeforms are as capable of sentience as anyone else, if so programmed - there's a Lieutenant in Starfleet's flagship who is a wonder, and very much his own, and a fascinating fellow besides. I do not mean to say you would be a Borg, either, the technology is quite different.

“Only that I would not be myself. As good as dead, no spirit, all the pagh gone out of the flesh. Believe me, the notion disgusts me also.”

Bashir’s hand clenched, as if he wished to keep them folded his palms together, the way he did when giving dire diagnoses. Sisko did it too; so did Guls, Legates, Vedeks, the Kai.

Even poor farmers did it, when they wanted to lie about how much they might or might not owe in taxed goods. Who taught them, who taught the gestures of power and fear? Bareil’s body could not remember them now, even if he had the strength for it.

As a child Bareil has hidden mischief behind his back. Mud cakes, stolen rations, pebbles to throw at soldiers on the other side of the fence. Flowers stolen from a doctor's office, to bring back to his family. A phaser, once. The Prophets had brought the camp's cantankerous old Vedek to rap his knuckles and twist his ear and smuggle it away, before anyone could catch a glimpse, could execute the Bareils's stupid little boy.

Immediacy had become memory, memory became nothing. His ear did not know to ache with old reprimands. His body hummed and worked with a sound nearly beyond hearing. Likely Bashir could hear it.

“Vedek Bareil-”

“Doctor, please. You have made new half my body already. Call me Antos.”

That same tilt of the head, conceding, half-smiling. And still he leaned closer, flickering fire in his eyes: oh, little wonder Kai Winn could not stand him, no wonder Bareil’s death had fled from him a little.

“It must be very tiring, living as you do,” Bareil noted quietly.

Bashir made a disdainful noise. He was not to be distracted, and plainly uneasy with the kindness. “It's only patterns. Finding them, repeating them. And deciding on what to strive towards, in terms of actions. I am certain you could do it. And you would live. Your body would continue to exist, even if you decided to go into stasis."

"If I did not chose to go into stasis?"

"I would help you, it you wished it.”

“But you do not wish it. You do not think it a wise choice, or right.”

Fiercely, Bashir told him, “What I think is of no consideration, for as long as we can make it meaningless. You are awake and aware now. You have a choice that can be only yours.”

Bareil's throat ached, tight and tender. Fear no longer had a taste, but he had been afraid for so much of his life that it made no difference. “I can ask for my doctor’s counsel, surely.”

“You have the right not to give them this. Already you have given so much - so much. Give yourself this dignity. Do not let her turn your muscles and your mouth into an instrument of politics!”

“Men like us do not choose for ourselves.”

Flickering fire, fingers in his, a living hand in his living hand. Soon Bashir would go, and time would contract like a tide until Kai Winn returned with her last questions; and after that there would be nothing else. Whatever he chose, there would be nothing else.

Bareil had very much hoped to be a father, one day. What a foolish thing to think, now, when his very skull whirred, his skin strained against itself; but it was true.

“This time, you do have a choice. You must, Bareil. Antos.” A hand over his own, a tightening grasp. “You would do them a disservice, in allowing it. They do not deserve to have to suffer your sacrifice. And I will think rather less of your Prophets, if they intend to put you through it.”

Bareil laughed. For the last time, perhaps. The Prophets, he hoped, laughed with him.

“For what it is worth, Doctor,” Antos Bareil said. “You seem very real to me.”

Bashir blinked. Surprise, and that was good too. Bareil's mouth, drying and purpling with the weakness of his lungs, wanted to move with a smile. He felt the instinct, the impression of humor carved into his character; the execution simply did not happen.

Bareil made his decision, then, while he could. That was in the morning; in the evening peace was signed, Bajor was promised peace.

#I did not think my first published DS9 fic would be Bareil PoV #but 'Life Support' was an amazing episode.#so here it is!#i haven't finished season 3 yet so apologies for any inconsistencies #ds9 #star trek #star trek ds9 #antos bareil #julian bashir #ds9 fic #my fics #kira nerys

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recurring-polynya · 1 year ago

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My Top 5 Bleach Filler Characters, Appropos of Nothing

5. Inaba Kagerouza, Reigai Arc

Inaba is, simply put, the pinnacle of Soul Society worldbuilding. He's got this long dramatic backstory and a bunch of rage bottled up in his chest, but also a guy needs a paycheck, so he's just been doing the R&D grind for a hundred years. He knows a shit-ton about the Dangai, which is relevant to his evil scheme, but it's also just his day job (also the Dangai owns, I want a PhD in "the Dangai"). No one else in Squad 12 seems to have the least bit of beef with him, even after he builds an evil duplicate of every person in the Gotei. Unlike a lot of mad scientist characters, he's good with his weapon. Maybe he's weirdly jacked under his villainous smock?? Also, his evil scheme was generally well thought out, and took into account the fact that the Gotei is a bunch of buffoons. ngl, I kinda wish his plan had succeeded, if only for the fact that it would probably really piss Aizen off.

4. Ran'Tao, Bount Arc

Everything about Ran'Tao owns, including:

Sexy glasses

Condemned so hard by the Central 46 that they gave her a kidou seal back tattoo

KIDOU. SHOTGUN.

Stabbed Kariya in the gut

Noped out at the end of the arc because Who Needs the Gotei's Shit?

3. Kuchiki Kouga, Zanpakutou Rebellion Arc I think that when you hear the story about how Byakuya was forbidden from marrying Hisana because she was a commoner, you're supposed to feel this great sense of injustice, like wow! Byakuya actually showed character by standing up for his love! And that's great and all, and then you get the Zanpakutou Rebellion Vintage Kuchiki Bullshit Flashbacks and it's like, oh, the last guy they married into the clan mass murdered a bunch of people and then they had to seal him up in a cave and I feel like that's an important piece of context in the entire Kuchiki Family-Being-a-Bitch-About-Who-Byakuya-Marries debacle.

Which isn't to exonerate the Kuchiki, here! It's very clear that Kouga wasn't that bad before he got pushed over the brink by Kuchiki family machinations. I mean, this is very much an Everyone's The Asshole situation.

I love the fact that they never come out and say that Kouga is Byakuya's uncle, but he's very obviously Byakuya's uncle.

I love the fact that he dramatically cut his kenseikan off with his sword and threw them at Ginrei and they made a gree card of it.

I love that he appears to be exactly Renji's height and has one chunk of hair that is the same color as Renji's and he over-accessorizes horrifically, and at best the Squad Six old-timer's had to be like "Byakuya don't do this to us again" when he hired Renji, and at worst there's a chance that Renji the secret baby that was born after Kouga was banished and he was hidden away in the Rukon so he didn't screw up the succession line but he's actually the true Heir to the Kuchiki.

2. Harugasaki Seizo, standalone episode 313 This dude had a homoerotic rivalry with Ikkaku (doomed, of course, because who could compete with Yumichika?), lost his shinigami powers when he took a blow meant for Ikkaku, and then spent the next hundred years putting his entire pussy into doing laundry for Squad 11. This man invented yearning, even if he did choose the worst possible person in the history of ever as the target of his affection.

1. Amagai Shuusuke, New Captain Shuusuke Amagai Arc He looks like Ross Poldark. He can't hold his liquor. No one knows who witnessed his Captain's Exam. Ukitake and Kyouraku tried to talk him into a threesome. He was nice to Kira. His bankai was a tuba that made a foghorn noise when it belched out fire. His dad was the shinigami equivalent of a narc, who got done dirty by the Captain-Commander. He fought the Dangai Cleaner and won. I love him more than anything.

Honorable Mention: Kenryuu and Enryuu, New Captain Shuusuke Amagai Arc Because they are an important reminder that for all the shinigami buffoonery I am forced to witness, day in and day out, some people graduate from Shin'ou, get shikai even, and still can't get hired by the Gotei.

#bleach filler #these are just my own cursed opinions you're under no obligation to share them #kenryuu and enryuu are also here because my husband loves them for absolutely no reason #i was trying to do this post out loud for him and i got to about no 3 and he was like 'kenryuu and enryuu right???' and i was like 'no dear #he also says they are married and will not hear arguments on this topic #i found (1) person on tumblr drawing seizo fanart and i respect that person to the bottom of my heart #i knew renji barely remembered seizo but imma write him into my squad 11 fanfic that i'm never going to finish see if i don't #procrastinating from my fanfic in some really epic ways today lads

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gabithefanwriter · 2 years ago

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Crash the Wedding, Kidnap the Bride, Simple Plan

Edgin x Female Reader

I watched this movie back in April okay? Don’t hate me lmao

I shook my head, feeling the emotions overwhelm me. I wanted to cry so badly, but I had to stand strong.

I made a promise. I couldn’t break it, but still...

I wanted to be with my real family, not this one that makes plans for me. I am a Princess, and I could never be a free soul, even as I learned the ways of becoming a cleric. I still had to say goodbye to Doric, to Simon, Holga, Kira and Edgin.

Edgin.

I hated myself for it. The heartbroken yet surprised looks they had all given me for revealing who I was, who I truly was.

The large white gown stood like a creampuff around me. I anted to tear it all off, but I stood still as my handmaidens placed on my tiara and my veil, handing me the bouquet full of daisies. I looked in the mirror and saw the necklace that I had to hide soon.

A necklace in the shape of a forget-me-not. My favourite flower.

I still hated myself for falling for the bard. The thief, the father of the little girl who I began to consider as my own.

Why did I have to fall for Edgin of all people?

“Your Majesty,” I turned to a guard who nodded his head, “It’s time.”

My time as a maiden was almost up. Soon, I was to be wed to the Prince of another nearby kingdom. One I despised.

I felt my heart ache as I slowly made my way towards the great hall. I had to fight the urge to cry. I was doing this for my kingdom. For my people. I would lose my happiness for everyone I held dear, doing everything they wanted.

But for now, I could only smile as I gently touch the necklace before going, taking in the feeling of freedom for only a little bit longer before it completely slips through my fingers.

***************

I was walking down the aisle, my veil hiding my look of defeat. I could see him there, smiling as if I were a prize to be won. I bit my lip as I finally made my way towards him, gently stepping on the podium. The priest was there, and I felt my freedom slowly slip away. I couldn’t hear the priest, I couldn’t focus on the prince before me, all I thought about was Edgin. His sweet, bright colourful and full of mischief eyes. Edgin, the bard who sang to me when I needed it, the man who showed me true freedom, who I had chased away after I revealed my identity to protect them.

Edgin, the man I wanted to actually marry.

“If anyone objects to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace...”

“I OBJECT!”

My eyes turned and I saw him there, the doors falling closed behind him, throwing him forward. I swore I heard him mutter something along the lines of “that wasn’t how I planned it but sure I guess”. He then looked up to me, and I felt my heart race at the look he gave me. “I object to this wedding.”

I didn’t dare fight the smile that slowly creeped up on my lips, even as my eyes held worry as I stared, “Edgin, what are you-?”

“I don’t want you to marry anyone, Y/n,” he began softly, making his way to me as I slowly got down to meet him halfway, holding his face in my hands. He continued, “I only want you to marry me, because you’ve made me so happy in ways I thought I’d never feel again. I want to be by your side, and I want you by mine, because I love you, Y/n/n. You matter so much to me.”

I smiled, a stray tear falling down my cheek, “I love you too, Edgin.”

I wanted to kiss him, but I felt myself get ripped away from his hold. “Edgin - NO! EDGIN!”

He outstretched a hand to reach me, but the guards pulled us away from each other, and I couldn’t help but thrash against them. I was brought to stand with my betrothed as Edgin was held by the guards, looking at my father. “You - YOU BARD! I told you to leave my daughter alone!”

“You are a thief!” The prince cried out, “Trying to steal my bride!”

Edgin only smirked, “I confess: I am a bard, a talented, good-looking one, and I confess that yes, I am a thief, but I didn’t try to steal your bride. I already stole her heart,” his eyes met mine with a mischievous glint, “So it’s only fair I steal the rest of her from you.”

I looked up and saw Simon and Holga and before I knew it, chaos was everywhere. My hand was caught and then dragged away, and I only saw the giant distractions they added, including smoke and thievery of jewels. I looked up to see who held my hand, smiling as I realised it was Edgin. I paused only to rip off the giant skirt and continued running with him. Keeping a fair distance, I saw the horses and quickly jumped up, grabbing the reins as I settled into the seat and galloped away from the church. I saw Simon and Holga catching up, and I laughed, letting out a yell of delight.

I was free.

I turned to look at Edgin with a giant grin on my face after we slowed to a walk. His smile mirrored mine.

We soon reached the house where I saw Doric and Kira. I happily jumped off the horse and ran to an already sprinting Kira, throwing herself in my arms. I smiled and picked her up. “Hey kiddo.”

She squeezed me even tighter, and I felt tears running down her face, dripping onto my neck. “I thought you left for good.”

I didn't fight to remove the smile from my face, my own tears slipping as I just embraced her. "I'm here, Kira, I'm here to stay."

She slowly pulled away, "Good, because as much as I missed you, dad missed you even more."

I felt my cheeks warm up, along with the ends of my ears, nervously biting my lip as I turned to see everyone going in the house.

****

Dinner had ended hours ago, stars beginning to shine through as I stayed there, on the roof of the house.

I was finally free.

My mind wavered back to my wedding, when Edgin told me he loved me.

"Enjoying the view?"

I turned my head to see him, smiling as he sat beside me. I looked back at the stars, smiling. "Yes, I really am."

We sat there, just staring until I decided to finally break the tension. "Did you mean what you said?"

Edgin turned to face me, "Huh? You mean back at the church?"

I nodded, and I saw a smile break onto his lips. He caressed my cheek, my heart beginning to race as I felt him get closer. "I do. I love you, Y/n. I never thought I could love again after..."

After Kira's mother. His wife.

I went to cup his cheeks, smiling at him reassuringly. "I love you too, Edgin. Really, I do."

I finally let our lips connect, and it felt perfect, as cheesy as it sounded. Fireworks erupted in my chest as I brought myself closer and closer, until there was barely any room left. I was free, I was with my family, I was with the love of my life.

Nothing could ruin this moment for me.

After we separated, his eyes were full of love, until he asked a question, a look of worry.

"Will the guards be after you?"

I thought about it, "Possibly. I'm unsure, but there is a possibility."

I heard Edgin groan, and I couldn't help but laugh. "That's what happens when you rescue a princess-cleric and steal her from a wedding."

"Are you complaining though?" He asked, quirking an eyebrow with a smirk. I shook my head. "Not one bit."

#edgin x reader #edgin the bard #dungeons and dragons #edgin darvis #edgin darvis x reader #honor among thieves #d&d honor among thieves #if Chris Pine crashed my wedding you can bet I’m leaving my partner and running to Chris-

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