#And I'm setting myself up to be heartbroken again

[concretejunglefm]

I'm not ready to let you forget me (part 1).

*edit credit goes to the lovely @defuckingthrone-dot-com

You told your friends you want me dead And said that I did everythin' wrong And you're not wrong

An anon request for lovers to enemies -> playlist, part 1, part 2 , part 3, part 4, part 5

Summary: It’s been two years since Noah cheated on you, abruptly ending your relationship. However, the universe seems to have a peculiar sense of humor in its plan to reunite you.

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x reader.

CW: none really. Mentions of cheating, Noah can be an overall asshole and a tad bit of angst.

WC: 3.2k.

Dividers: Silent-stories.

Had Noah cheated, you believe that you could've handled everything a lot better, but somehow what he did had been worse.

It wasn't cheating, even if you couldn't ignore the pit in your stomach when you thought about him and her together.

Noah's ex had joined the last leg of his tour as an opening act, and while under any other circumstances it wouldn't have bothered you, his nonchalant attitude about it did. 

This had been a man who spent time after time cursing her out to you, pushing aside any doubts or worries you had felt when it came to her, and now he didn't care if she was joining him in the most important aspect of his life.

Even worse was how he’d knocked back your own suggestion of joining him.

"It's only for a few days. I'll get to watch you play, and we can see it as a vacation." "You can see it as that. For me, it's work, babe. You know that, and you know how important it is to me." "I know I just thought." "Well, don't. Not this time. Maybe next time."

You did your best to brush off the hurt at the time, and now again as the memory resurfaces.

Noah didn't cheat, but what he did was close enough to make you feel heartbroken and forgotten about.

Messages and calls came less and less during this leg, and now you were sitting up early Saturday morning going through the posts on your Twitter feed like a fool, allowing yourself to be more hurt with each one that you came across.

@badoxmens: Did you see Noah and his ex on stage last night?

@ieatconcreeete: I hope this means they're finally getting back together !!

@artitficalsuicide: If I were his girlfriend, I would hate myself right now.

@deduckingthrone: Noah has a girlfriend? Are you sure? Him and his ex looked pretty cozy if he does.

The videos and pictures which accompanied the tweets did nothing to ease the rising bile in your throat, and every attempt to reach Noah was left unanswered.

Noah ignored every single text and call you made to him, not bothering to even make it obvious that he was ignoring you, the delivered and read notifications driving you mad until you had to stop yourself altogether.

Instead of breaking up with you, he ghosted you, your only proof of this coming a week later when another set of videos and photos showed up on your feed of him attending the album launch party of his ex.

There was no ignoring the closeness between them, the way he lingered by her in the one video, the way they were caught slipping off together and hovering a little too closely in another.

You almost went to write out a long-winded text, one full of all your feelings for everything that had transpired over the past week, but instead settled for a simple 'fuck you'. Even going as far as to block and delete his number to not allow for any temptation in reaching out to him.

You deserved better than this, that whatever had transpired for Noah to play with your feelings in this manner and you decided then that you'd do whatever it took to move on.

"What you need is a girls’ trip." The suggestion from your best friend came as no surprise, Sloan would always choose a spa day or a girls’ trip whenever she felt a need to unwind, which was practically every week according to her.

"Huh?" You snap back from your own thoughts, mindlessly stirring a spoon in your latte.

"Babe, please tell me that you are not still hung up on that guy." You hear both the pity and disdain in her tone.

To Sloan boys were nothing more than toys to be played with, to be thrown down and picked back up whenever she wanted. That was her trick to not being hurt.

"It's been two years."

"I know." You don't even need to give her a real answer for her to know, but it still doesn't stop your mind from wandering and from the pang in your chest each time you think about him.

“Girls’ trip, this weekend and I'm not taking no for an answer."

You wish that she had taken no for an answer.

A girl’s trip sounded delightful until she suggested Vegas and you were squeezing yourself onto a last-minute flight there. You wouldn't have minded had it not been for the fact that your seats were apart from one another and you had been given a middle seat, which meant you were now stuck in between two strangers.

Moving along the aisle towards your seat, you slide your weekend bag from your shoulder and toss it into the overhead bin. Looking down at your ticket, you confirm the seat number and tuck a piece of hair behind your ear as you tap on the shoulder of the man sitting on the end seat, covered up with a black hoodie.

"Excuse me. I'm 33B." You gesture to the empty space beside him, and the minute you catch a familiar pair of brown eyes gaze back at you, you feel your heart plummet into your stomach and bile rising up your throat.

Noah.

You're ready to make a dash towards the back of the plane, either to throw up in the bathroom or attempt to throw yourself out of the emergency exit.

"Sor—."

He cuts himself off on the sight of you, and you huff as he moves himself and allows for you to squeeze past.

When you fall into the middle seat, you find Jolly sitting on the other side of you and realize that they must be on their way to a show. 

In Vegas? 

You almost turn and ask him but decide not to. You spent the last two years ignoring his and his band's existence; you can do that for another hour on this flight.

When you dare a glance in Jolly's direction, he's already sliding his headphones on and looking out of the window, completely disengaging himself. You're almost jealous. You'd do anything to disappear from this moment's event, even exchange seats with the Swede so as not to be sat next to Noah.

As the flight pulls out to taxi, you feel Noah's leg bouncing against your own. You know it's his nerves. He's always been a nervous flyer, and it makes you wonder why he's choosing to fly instead of driving to Vegas.

You mentally smack yourself because it's not your place to wonder these things or even care about them anymore.

"Will you stop that?" You finally voice your annoyance as the plane begins its descent down the runway.

"You know I'm a nervous flyer!" He retorts, and yes, you do know, but he's not supposed to highlight that fact.

“Yeah, but it's annoying." You snipe beneath your breath.

"I can't help it!"

You sound like a couple of squabbling kids, and you hit your knee against his as if to prove a point for him to stop, but he only bounces his leg harder.

It's as if he's purposely trying to piss you off, and unfortunately for you, it's working.

"Just—" You reach over and press your hand down on his thigh, forcing his leg still. "There. Stop."

He does stop, but then you feel his larger tattooed hand atop yours, and his fingers slip beneath and around your own as if choosing to accept this as you giving him some form of comfort.

You're not, but you can hardly pull your hand away as the plane begins to take off and you feel his fingers tightening around yours, signifying his general fear and discomfort over flying.

That is until you're hit with the reminder that this guy ghosted you, and you owe him nothing.

You snatch your hand back, glaring at him as he looks down at you.

"What was that for?"

“Oh, please, you're a big boy. Hold your own damn hand if you're that scared." You don't hold back on the mockery in your tone, crossing your arms over your chest.

"I was always there for you, and this is how you repay me?"

“Oh, please, you were there for your own ego."

You feel Noah lean in closer to you and you edge yourself away as best as you can without causing too much disruption to Jolly tucked in the window seat.

"You could at least try to make this work."

You hear him whisper, and your mouth drops open due to the utter audacity this man has to even suggest such a thing.

"Why would I do that when you did such a great job proving you're not worth the effort?" You snipe back, keeping your voice low.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're really choosing now to play dumb? God, you really are all muscle and no brains now, aren't you?"

You couldn't ignore the fact that over the past two years he had buffed out even more than you can remember.

Noah had always been physically fit during the time you were together, with muscles coming in, but there was something more toned and larger about him now. 

It was a noticeable enough sight that could have any girl drooling over him.

But not you. 

You refused to engage with the thought.

"So what you're saying is you think I look hot?"

You don't need to look at him to see it; you can hear the smirk in his voice, and it makes you shake with anger at how unfazed he appears by all of this. 

You can't resist jabbing your elbow into his side, resulting in him letting out a whine which draws the attention of passengers around you to look over.

"What was that for?" Noah grumbles, bringing a hand to his side as he rubs the spot you’d caught. 

"Because you're a dumbass." You spit out between gritted teeth.

"Excuse me, is there a problem here?" You haven't even noticed the seatbelt signs turn off, and when you look up, you spot a young air hostess peering in at you both. The moment her eyes catch sight of Noah, you spot that sudden flash of recognition in her own.

"Here we go," You mumble under your breath, rolling your own eyes as you direct your head forward and press back against the headrest. 

You wait to hear it, his charm that he always uses whenever there's a fan who recognizes him in a place he doesn't want to be noticed.

He's suave with it, and it always made you swoon in the beginning because you believed that he was merely trying to seek out his privacy for you both, but now you realize it was just one of his many tactics for keeping up some reputation he felt the need to uphold.

"Well, well... It looks like someone has good taste in music. You just made my day… but if you don't mind keeping it between us?"

You scoff and press your lips together when feeling the heat of a stare on you, but the air hostesses' quiet giggling is enough to prove that his little charm worked.

Shaking your head, you roll your eyes. "Real smooth." You remark once she leaves down the plane aisle to attend to another passenger.

"It worked on you, didn't it?"

"Don't flatter yourself. That was after five drinks, and I'd been eyeing up Folio all night."

"Oh—"

"Will you both quit it before I bang your heads together!" Jolly cuts Noah off, interrupting your squabbling.

"She started it." Noah argues, and your head turns back to him as you shoot him a glare. 

If looks could kill, you'd have done it multiple times by now.

The rest of the flight wasn't any easier, between playing elbow hockey with Noah over the armrest and more snide remarks, you were thankful the moment the plane came into land, unbuckling your belt and attempting to move the moment the seatbelt sign turned off.

"The plane hasn't even come to a stop." Noah points out as you attempt to stand, ushering him to move out of your way.

"I don't care, just move." You huff and glare down at him as he remains still, his tattooed hands sitting and tapping on his thighs, barely giving you a brief glance.

"Not even a please? You're so rude."

You know that you shouldn’t, but you begin to attempt climbing over him, holding onto the seat in front as you try to drag yourself past him and over his lap, muttering as you go. "And you are absolutely incorrigible."

"Wow, that's a new one. Is it your word of the day?"

You glance behind him and see him attempting to push back into his seat more, as if that's helping you in any way, and when you see his hand raise, you instinctively swat at it with the assumption he's going to touch you. 

"Ow?! There was no need for that."

Finally free from your row, you huff and pull yourself together, reaching for the overhead bin and pulling out your bag. 

“Well, this was fun. I really hope we never have to do it again." You glare at him and begin making your way down the aisle with the rest of the passengers towards the exit door.

You've never been happier to see the back of a plane in your life, moving as fast as your legs will let you through the crowd of people, almost missing the sound of Sloan's voice as she calls after you.

"Wait up, speedy!" She laughs as she finally catches up, and you come to a slow down, shaking your head free of all the thoughts which had been swirling around in there due to the unexpected reunion you just briefly had with your ex.

"Sorry. I just had to get out of there."

"That wasn't who I think it was, was it?" You spare a glance over at Sloan, and your irritated expression gives that answer away. "It was? What was he doing on a plane to Vegas?"

"I can't say I really cared to ask him, Sloan." Your tone has a bite still left over from the sniping that you and Noah had done. "Sorry, he just really gets under my skin."

"I can see that."

"The sooner we're at the hotel, the better. Then I can wash this whole thing off me, and we can finally start enjoying our girls' weekend."

"Yes! Girls’ weekend. No talk about stupid boys." Sloan slips her arm around yours, linking you together as she lets out an excited 'woohoo'. It makes you laugh, and you finally feel the tension that being sat next to Noah for the last hour had caused, slipping away.

It's a feeling which is short-lived, however.

After making your way through the airport and standard checks, you reach the taxi rank outside, and as you open the door, you turn back to call for Sloan, only to be met with the 6'3 asshole who's covered in tattoos.

“Oh, thanks, you shouldn't have." He flashes you a grin as he slides into your taxi, followed by Jolly, who offers you a brief apologetic look. Maybe you should've been giving him a harder time if he was enabling this stupid behavior.

You stand speechless as they pull the door close, tossing daggers at the cab as it drives away and a scream rumbles in your throat. 

"Where's the taxi?" Sloan asks as she chooses now to join you. You grumble something incoherent under your breath as you turn to wave down the next incoming taxi.

She's now joining Noah and Jolly on your shit list.

"It's going to be perfect! There's a spa, three pool areas. One of them is an infinity pool off the balcony upstairs." Sloan continues to drone on about the hotel and everything it includes. You only have a weekend here, but she's already planning multiple ways for you to take advantage of everything.

Currently, your mind is back on Noah and his stupid, smug ass face as he stole your taxi. You try to distract yourself from it, shaking him from your thoughts and coming back into the present, to this weekend.

Seeing him was a blip, but you refused to allow him to derail your plans or excitement.

Counting the room numbers down the hallway, you look up as you come closer to yours, room number: 308. 

Sloan has the room opposite you, disappearing inside after making plans to knock on after shower and changing. A shower sounds perfect right about now, not only to wash off the plane smell but also with being in such proximity to Noah in general.

As you fiddle with the room key, you hear a familiar voice, which causes your back to raise. Turning your head, you peer down the hallway, watching a group of familiar faces grow nearer to you. Noah is the one trailing behind, while Folio and Matt's voices are the ones you hear echoing down the hall.

You hastily attempt to open your hotel room door, being met with the red light before trying again.

You huff and close your eyes to calm yourself from growing irrationally angry.

Hearing the voices past you, you open your eyes and look back to find Noah standing at the door next to yours, room number: 310.

"Hey, neighbor." Noah flashes you a grin, and you shake your head in protest.

"No."

"No?" He repeats back at you in a question, his brows knitting together. "What do you mean no?"

"I mean no, we are not neighbors, and you cannot be here. Not in this room, not in this hotel. Hell, not even in this state." You're being irrational, but you never did quite have much rationality when it came to him. You always found yourself diving in headfirst to whatever thought crossed your mind.

"And who said this? You?" Noah raises a brow at you, taking a step closer as he leans a hand against the wall.

He easily towers over you, and under any other circumstance before now, that would have you weak at the knees and buckling for him, but right now it has you infuriated that he's somehow here, ruining your weekend and attempting to charm you.

"Yes."

"Still as bossy as ever, I see."

"And you're still an asshole." You snipe back, your eyes narrowing, still attempting to get your keycard in your door and slip away from this conversation.

"Ouch, that hurt." Noah raises his free hand, bringing it to his chest, feigning a tone of disbelief and hurt while you roll your eyes in response.

“Oh, please, that would insinuate you had any feelings to begin with."

"I have a lot of feelings, actually. Such as feeling sorry for you while watching you struggle with something so easy. Here, let me."

Before you have a chance to protest, he's reaching out to take your hotel room key and slips it into the swipe, drawing it out to a flashing green light.

You huff as you open the door, pushing forward, and the last thing you hear before the door slams is another final snarky remark from him; "Not even a thank you?"

Once in the safety of your room, you let out a loud scream of frustration, only to hear Noah's chuckle from the other side of the door, and you gently bang the back of your head against the door as you lean back on it.

Great, now you really can't escape him this weekend.

[uhhhj13iguess]

heartbreak girl

peter parker x fem!reader

okay, heartbreak girl by 5sos always makes me think of fanfiction

summary: peter's been listening to you cry over brad for months. when are you going to realize that he's your cure?

wc: 1.7k

masterlist

peter's phone lit up, the vibrations of the incoming call weighing heavy on his mind. 10pm, right on the dot. he knew it was you. and he already knew what the call was about.

you'd been on a date with brad this evening after calling it off with him for the... god, peter didn't even know at this point. you kept going back, going in circles again and again.

he hated it. he hated listening to you cry to him, heartbroken over the newest shitty thing brad had done to you. but he did. he listened again and again, despite his heart aching and wishing he could sweep you away from it all. but in the end, he's just a sucker for anything you do.

he picked up the phone relectently, a pained expression taking when he answered. "hello?"

"hey pete, do you have a minute?"

he cringed, already knowing where this was going. "yeah, anything for you. what's up?"

he heard you sigh on the other end, tears and sadness coating your voice as you spoke.

"i don't know why i keep doing this to myself, pete. i mean honestly, i feel like i should know better at this point. my heart just hurts every time."

"what do you mean?" he lied through his teeth.

"just brad again. he told me he had a great date planned to make up for everything with gwen, and when i got there, it was just... i don't know. it just wasn't anything, and it turned into such a fight for no reason. i wish i hadn't even gone."

peter felt his fists clench, the faint sound of glass cracking in his ear as he pulled away to see he had crushed his phone screen. "fuck,"

"what was that?"

"nothing, i just... nothing. keep going, what happened?" he set his phone on his desk, doing his best to press the speaker button through the cracked glass. he let out a yelp as the sharp edge caught him, immediately nursing the cut in his mouth.

your sniffles echoed in his room and his finger wasn't the only thing hurting.

"the date to make up for borderline cheating on me was ordering a pizza and trying to fuck me. i mean, he had to know that wasn't going to work, right? i don't know, maybe chivalry is dead and i need to get over myself."

"come on, you know you deserve so much more than this." peter let out, a whine of desperation escaping his throat as he spoke.

"i don't know, i'm starting to think i don't. what do you think pete, should i just call it? like, actually this time?"

he felt his whole body freeze, his heart beating out of his chest.

"i don't know, he's probably the best I'm going to get. maybe i should just keep trying to make it work. clearly, something i'm doing isn't good enough."

"that's not true, (y/n), come on. i think..." he couldn't get the words out. he wanted to shout from the rooftops all you deserved and how he could be the one to give it to you, but he couldn't risk losing his best friend. you meant to much to him, and he couldn't take such a big risk for the off chance you'd like him back.

"i don't know, i think—"

"wait, sorry pete, that's him calling now. i think I'm going to answer it. do you think i should answer it?"

he closed his eyes and let out a defeated sigh. after hearing your crying and wanting to do anything to stop it, he ended up lying.

"yeah, maybe it'll be for the best."

"yeah, you're right. thanks peter, i can always count on you to make a girl feel special. thanks for being such a great friend."

his chest ached at the words, 'friend' echoing in his head like a never-ending curse. he gritted his teeth, "yeah, of course. see you tomorrow."

he ended the call with another cut to his finger, causing him to let out a string of curses as his head hit his pillow.

the following day, as peter got ready in his dorm for class, he heard a faint knock on the door. he stood from his desk, leisurely making his way over. as soon as he opened it, however, panic flooded through his body.

you stood there, tears streaming down your face as you attempted to flash a smile through your obvious pain. "oh my god, (y/n),"

he rushed you in, shutting the door behind you and turning quick to lead you to his bed. he threw his arms around you, the sight of your red cheeks scorching into his brain.

"what's wrong? are you hurt?"

you gave a quick chuckle, taking deep breaths to soothe yourself. peter kept an arm around you as he pulled back to look at you. he frowned as you looked down at your hands in your lap, not making eye contact with him.

"brad and i made up last night — i went over after i talked to you. spent the night and everything. and then i..." your voice trailed off, quivering as you forced yourself to keep going.

"and then this morning when i got to class, gwen came up to me in a panic saying how brad told her we'd broken up and made a move on her and they fucked. this morning, peter. i fucking slept over at his house and she came over immediately after, having no idea. what the fuck am i doing?"

peter's stomach turned listening to you, like a broken record saying how much your heart hurt. this had to be the third time brad had done something like this in the past few months.

"i'm so sorry, (y/n). there's no excuse, you don't deserve that," he grabbed your hands as you picked at your nailbeds, brushing his fingers softly over your palms.

"you deserve so much more than this."

you let out a snarky laugh in response. "yeah, right, pete."

peter frowned at the comment. "come on, i'm serious."

he squeezed your hands, an earnest look in his eyes. he just wanted to comfort you. he wanted to tell you how wonderful you were and how in love with you he was. he fought every instinct he had to scream out 'you could be with me now!', but he held back as you broke free from his hands to hug yourself and lean into him. he immediately held you in his arms again.

"clearly with my track record, this is exactly what i deserve," you sighed, snuggling further into his chest. his scent comforted your overwhelmed senses, and his warmth calmed you down.

"i'm sorry, i know you're on your way to ochem, i'll leave. i don't know, it just happened and, and you were just the first person i wanted to run to, i guess."

you started to wiggle out of his grasp, standing to leave when he caught your waist, pulling you back down next to him. "wait,"

you gave him a funny look, the tears on your cheeks dried up already.

peter pinched his eyes shut in panic.

"uh,"

he tapped his fingers relentlessly against your knee at war with himself over what to say next. so close to confession.

"i just..."

you grabbed his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "it's okay pete, it's just me. what's up?"

okay.

fuck it.

"(y/n), i know this is probably horrible timing and i really hope i'm not fucking everything up, but i can't take it anymore. brad is horrible. he's always been horrible. and, and i don't mean that to make you feel bad, i-i just... you deserve so much more than him. and,

and i'm so much more than him,

and i haven't said anything because you were in a relationship and i didn't want to ruin seven years of friendship, but,

i could take away your hurt. (y/n), i already do. he treats you so bad and, and i'm so good to you. it doesn't feel fair. you deserve to be loved and held and to feel wanted,

i'm right here. and i've always been right here, and, and i always will be. i... i don't know, i'm just kind of rambling at this point. i just... think you belong with someone who treats you how you deserve. and i want nothing more than... than that to be with me..."

peter trailed off quietly, slowly reaching your gaze for the first time since pouring out his heart. he cringed to himself as he couldn't gauge an expression on you.

"i'm sorry, that was—"

"no pete, it's okay—"

"a lot, jesus. i know you just got out of a relationship and you were cheated on for fucks sake, jesus christ peter—"

"no, really, it's—"

"good god. i know you don't even feel the same way, and, and that's fine! i just, there was just a lot pent up and jesus i didn't need to unload that right now, christ—"

"that's not true." you cut him off, voice dropping to a whisper.

his volume met yours. "what?"

"that's not true. that, that i don't feel the same way."

peter nodded his head slowly, eyes blown wide. "oh... right..."

you nodded back just as slowly, chewing at the inside of your lip. "yeah,"

"cool, yeah that's,"

"i, um, yeah,"

"oh," peter chuckled breathlessly, breaking eye contact and suddenly feeling very flustered. you took his hand.

"i've liked you for years, pete. i only ever started dating the dipshits i did to take my mind off you."

"oh,"

you gave him a soft smile. "yeah,"

"that's really cool, (y/n)." your face fell to give him a strange look.

"no! i mean, not the horrible dating experiences, jesus. i mean, that you, that... that you like me back, or whatever." peter's face was bright red as he stumbled out his words.

"oh. yeah, i think it's pretty cool too."

he gave your hand a slight squeeze. "what do you say i skip class and we go grab some breakfast? no labels, no pressure, just you, me, and a denny's feast?"

you gave him the sweetest smile he'd ever seen.

"i think that sounds great, pete."

[avoicebehindthestars]

About bootlegging Good Omens...

I don't have the ranges to reach a lot of people, but I'm going to say this nonetheless.

If you feel like you can't bare anything that NG has ever created, you don't want to hear about Good Omens, Sandman, Coraline etc. ever again, that's perfectly fine and a decision to be respected. Quite frankly, I've found myself feeling uneasy while I tried to read Sandman recently because I can't stop perceiving it through what I found out about the author. Hell, even the sex scene in Stardust doesn't sit right with me anymore...

BUT

If you are still a fan of any of Neil's ongoing franchise (GO, Sandman, DBD, Anansi Boys) and choosing to bootleg them just to "punish" him - think again. Neil's current net worth is $18M. Even if he doesn't ever earn another penny, he can spend up to $0.5M a year and live to be nearly a hundred without a care in the world.

What you'll actually be doing is informing the streaming networks (Prime and Netflix) that Neil's franchise isn't worth investing in anymore. And, as a result, you guessed it - the shows you still love WILL get CANCELLED. Make no mistake, just because Prime has greenlit Good Omens s3 doesn't mean that can't pull out on a whim.

Neil hates showrunning, he said as much himself. He's only persevering on Good Omens because he'd made a promise to Pratchett. So let me say it again: by bootlegging, you won't be punishing Neil. You'll be punishing YOURSELVES by literally telling the networks to cancel the show, because they won't get any money out of it. Or, if not cancel - limit the investment, as they did with GO s2, which will result in shorter episodes (in case of GO right now we're looking at 6x45m... would you rather get 6x30m instead?), fewer extras, lower budget on CGI and sets, and overall poorer quality.

In other words - you'll be cutting multiple artists' income. I'm not talking about top-tier actors like MS or DT - they'll do all right either way (although MS will mostly likely be heartbroken, as we know how much he loves Good Omens). I'm talking about all the extras and less known actors who perform minor roles! I'm talking about everyone involved in the production - in making of the sets, in creating the special effects, hell, in carrying equipment and pouring coffee! Those are the people you'll be punishing.

Seriously, aside from his promise to Terry, I'm convinced Neil couldn't care less. Otherwise why would he be so adamant about wrapping it up in just 3 seasons when it's winning distinction after distinction?

Last but not least, watching Good Omens legally and buying franchise doesn't harm the victims. If Neil really committed the atrocities he's accussed of, he'll be punished by the court! Punishing Neil isn't your responsibility!

So before you make a decision, please remember:

if the show you bootleg is cancelled as a result, you will have punished: yourself, the fandom, all the artists and people involved in the production

punishing Neil is NOT your responsibility

wanting the networks to continue the franchise you like doesn't harm the victims

[allthingsfangirl101]

In The Past – Ben (Anyone But You)

Ben's POV

I got out of my car and tossed my keys to the valet. I put my hands in my pants pockets and smiled as I looked around at all the familiar faces. I was feeling confident and excited to be at my best friend's sister's wedding.

All of that evaporated when my eyes landed on her.

I instantly knew it was her. I'd know her anywhere. She looked exactly the same. Well, not exactly. She looks even more beautiful all these years later.

"Holy shit," I said under my breath. I didn't notice that I wasn't alone until someone very loudly cleared their throat. I looked over to see Pete smirking at me.

"Y/N looks pretty damn good, huh?" He chuckled.

"She always looks good," I mumbled looking back at her.

"How long has it been since you've seen Y/N?" He asked.

"It's been a while," I answered slowly.

"When was the last time you talked to her?"

"The night before I left," I said before I could stop myself. "Things didn't end well and she never spoke to me again."

"You know," he sighed, "I never understood why, in all the years that the three of us were best friends, you never told her the truth."

"What truth?" I pretended not to know.

"Come on, Ben," he said, actually sounding disappointed. "I know. You know. My sister knows. Hell, everyone knows. The only person here who doesn't know how you feel about Y/N is Y/N."

I looked back at Y/N and watched her hug some other old friends. I couldn't help but wonder what she's been up to all these years. She always talked about wanting to go to art school. I wondered if she ever ignored her family's pressure to go to med school or law school. I wonder if she ever used her art knowledge and became an art curator for a big museum.

"Why didn't you ever tell her, man?"

"It would've messed with our group dynamic," I said the thing I've been telling myself since I walked away from her.

"Bullshit," he scoffed. "If you had talked to me about it, I would've told you that I was okay with it. I would've told you that I support it. If you asked me what you should do right now, I would tell you to get off your ass and finally tell her how much you've always loved her."

Little did he know, that I did tell her the truth.

Once. A long time ago.

I still remember the look in her eyes when I told her I loved her.

~ • ~

"What do you want me to say to that?" She asked, her voice softer than I had expected. I opened and closed my mouth, unable to come up with an answer. "This isn't funny, Ben."

"I'm not trying to be funny," I said slowly. "I mean it. I really do love you, Y/N."

"Please, stop," she said, her voice breaking. "Do you not see how cruel this is, Ben?! You are leaving for school tomorrow. Literally, in nine hours you are getting on a plane and flying far away from here. Away from me. It was horrible of you to tell me you have been in love with me for years the last time I'm going to see you."

"It's not the last time," I stuttered. "I'll come home and visit."

"Right," she scoffed before slightly starting to pace. "You'll come home a couple of weekends during your first semester. Then you'll only come home for the holidays. Pretty soon, those visits won't happen anymore and I'll never see you. And I'll begin to wonder if you actually loved me or if you met someone else and completely forgot about me. Or worse, the longer you are away, the more out of love you fall for me. You'll eventually move on. And me? I'll be heartbroken and won't believe in love anymore. You'll move on and I'll be stuck. Stuck, Ben. I can't handle that. I can't sit back and endure losing you."

"Y/N," I said, grabbing her wrist and stopping her from pacing.

"No," she said, instantly pulling her hand out of my hold. "I can't do this, Ben. I'm sorry, but I can't set myself up just to be heartbroken in a year."

~ • ~

I snapped out of the memory when Pete pushed me toward Y/N. I quickly recovered before weaving my way through the rehearsal dinner guests. As I got closer, Y/N still hadn't noticed me. When I got to her and Pete's cousin, her back was still to me. Pete's cousin saw me and excused herself. Y/N turned around, her eyes slightly widening when she saw me.

"Well, I'll be damned," I teased. "Y/N, you haven't aged a day."

"Ben," she gasped, tightening her shawl around her shoulders. "It's good to see you."

I hated that it sounded like she wasn't sure if she meant that. I hated that it seemed like I made her uncomfortable. I didn't want that. I wanted her to feel comfortable and safe around me. I wanted her to depend on me, to need me. I wanted her and I wanted her to want me.

"It's great to see you," I smiled, trying to reassure her. "I've missed you."

She studied me for a moment before finally whispering, "I've missed you too, Ben."

"Ben! My sister wants to go over the timeline for the wedding tomorrow," Pete yelled across the restaurant.

"In a minute," I shouted back. I turned back around toward Y/N to see the disappointed look in her eyes. "Y/N, I'm. . ."

"I'm sorry, man, but my sister is seconds away from a panic attack."

I opened my mouth to say something but Y/N beat me to it. "Go," she whispered. "You're needed."

She started to walk away but I grabbed her hand and turned her back. "Y/N," I whispered her name, not caring how desperate I sounded. "I hate how we left things. I know this weekend is going to be crazy with the wedding, but I want to fix this. I want to fix us. Please. Promise me you'll sit down with me for ten minutes."

"Ben. . ." She stuttered.

"Five minutes," I changed. "Give me five minutes to try and apologize for breaking your heart. Please, Y/N."

Y/N studied me. The longer she studied me, the harder it was for me to breathe.

"Okay," she whispered.

"Thank you." I let out a sigh of relief. Before I could think about it, I leaned in and gently kissed her cheek.

"I'll be right back, Y/N," I tried to reassure her. "I promise we will talk."

* * * * *

Going through the timeline took longer than I would've liked. The entire time, I couldn't focus on the wedding day schedule. Instead, I thought about Y/N. I thought about our childhood together. I thought about the last time I saw her. I thought about how I felt about her. I thought about what I wanted to say to her.

By the time we were done finalizing things for tomorrow, the guests had all gone back to the hotel. Part of me wanted to do this big romantic gesture and find her hotel room, knock on the door, and confess to her that I still loved her. But another part of me knew that was insane and I should wait to talk to her until after the wedding.

I listened to the first part.

It took some convincing (a.k.a. begging, negotiating, and promising), but eventually Pete's sister, Claudia, finally told me what room Y/N was staying in.

I knocked on the door before I could chicken out. I held my breath as I waited for her to open the door.

"Ben?"

When she opened the door, my heart jumped into my throat. "Hi," was all I could say.

"What are you doing here?" She asked. She checked her watch before adding, "At 11 o'clock at night."

"I was wondering if we could have those five minutes."

"Are you sure? Can't this wait. . ."

"No," I said, cutting her off. "I'm sorry, Y/N, but I've waited too long to talk about this. To talk to you. Please. Just hear me out and, if you don't like what I say, then you can kick me out."

I watched, holding my breath, as I waited for her to decide.

"Five minutes," she whispered. She slowly opened the door and stepped aside. I nervously wiped my hands on my pants and walked into her room.

"What did you want to talk about, Ben?" She asked with her arms wrapped tightly around herself. I walked over and gently grabbed her wrists. I was surprised when she let me unwrap her arms.

"You were right."

"What?" She asked with a small giggle.

"All those years ago," I continued. "I never meant to break your heart, Y/N. That is literally the last thing I want to do. With that being said, I meant what I said that night. I really do love you. And I have loved you for a long time. That's where I was an idiot."

"You were an idiot for being in love with me?" She asked, her voice breaking.

"No," I said quickly. I pulled her closer to me before trying to explain this all better. "I was not an idiot for being in love with you. I'm an idiot for choosing the night before I left for college to tell you. I should've told you how I felt a long time ago."

"That would've been better," she whispered.

"I know," I sighed. "But if you don't hate me too much, maybe we can try this again."

"Try what?" Y/N stuttered.

"Y/N, I am and always have been deeply in love with you," I confessed. "I have loved you since we were young. When I went off to school, all I could think about was you. I never stopped thinking about how much I hurt you, Y/N. And if you give me a chance, I will spend every day of our life together proving it to you. I will never walk away from you again, Y/N. I swear."

Time seemed to stop as I waited for her to say something, anything.

"You'll never walk away from me?" She whispered, her voice barely audible.

"I promise," I said desperately trying to get her to believe me.

"Prove it."

My heart finally left my throat as she smirked at me. I pulled her until her chest was pressed to mine. I studied her face, making sure to never forget her expression before leaning in. Soon, I felt my lips press to hers. As soon as they did, I let go of her hands and wrapped my arms around her waist. She started kissing me back as she wrapped her arms around my neck.

After making out for several minutes, I broke the kiss. I leaned back and studied her.

"Are you done proving it?" She taunted.

"Not even close."

* * * * *

I woke up the next morning to my phone ringing non-stop. I looked down and smiled when I saw Y/N sleepily moan and roll away from me. I quickly sat up and kissed her bare shoulder before answering my phone.

"Hey."

"Where the hell are you?!" Pete yelled as soon as I answered the phone. "Why aren't you in your room? We have pictures in an hour."

"Calm down," I sighed. "I can be ready in ten minutes."

I hung up and turned around to see Y/N sitting up in bed with the covers close to her chest. "You in trouble?"

"Nah," I brushed off. "I can get ready fast."

Y/N smiled when I gently pushed her back down, hovering over her. She wrapped her arms loosely around my neck as I made sure I wasn't hurting her.

"I thought you had to go," she teased.

"Pictures are in an hour," I said, slowly leaning closer to her. "It only takes me ten minutes to get ready. Twenty if I want to shower."

"Which you should," she smirked.

"That still gives me forty minutes to keep my promise," I said as I slowly pressed my lips to hers. She instantly started to kiss me back. But she was the one who broke the kiss.

"You should get going," she sighed, gently pushing on my chest. "Today is Claudia's and Halle's day. Go focus on making this day go as smoothly as it can. Once the wedding is over, you can focus on. . ."

"Us," I finished for her. "After the wedding, I'll focus on us."

[himewonu]

RED FISH, BLUE FISH ; lee seokmin

summary when vandalizing your seat by writing how you’re done with love creates more vandlism by a response the next day in blue sharpie starring dokyeom x gn! reader genre fluff, hs au, i stole this from my old blog that i stole from a pinoy movie, this has nothing to do with dr seuss contains vandalism, idk what else word count 0.6k

from rhin，again, i have no creativity to whip up a new fic so i’m stealing one from my old blog bc i can and it’s my blog. i am flwoie and flwoie is me pls dont cancel me for plagirising myself😢

you’re done with love.

this is the fourth time you’ve gone on a date with some weird guy. they keep getting worse every time. your first date couldn’t stop talking and not letting you say a word, followed by your second one, who didn’t want to pay for his food, and your third one, well, he couldn’t stop calling you insecure—when you weren’t. if your friend sets you up on another one, you might as well just go for the first one.

she shows you instagram profiles of other boys who find you interesting—from what she’s heard by others. you interrupt her and slightly push her phone away from your face.

“(name), trust me, they’re not going to be as bad as the others!” she urges.

“you said that last time. i’m done, jisun.” you clicked on the top of your pen and started jotting words down on your wooden desk.

‘I'M DONE WITH LOVE!’

you pointed out your writing on the table to jisun, making her roll her eyes.

‘wow, emo. are you heartbroken?’

those were the words that were written below yours in blue sharpie when you walked into class the next day. you pulled out a pen and wrote down your response next to theirs.

'not really. men just irritate me. speaking of which, are you a guy?’

jisun walks in and sits next to you, observing that you’re not only writing on your table but also smiling ear to ear.

“what’s got you smiling now?”

“look,” you say, tapping on the ink engraved on the table, “someone replied to my vandal.” she leans in to read your messages.

“very modern,” she sarcastically remarks. “who knows, that could be the love of your life.”

“you’re crazy. what 'love of my life’ are you talking about? we don’t even know anything about them.”

she nudges your arm after she puts her notebooks on her desk. “but, (name), admit it. you’re excited,” she teases.

seokmin eagerly walks into class as it is about to start and quickly sits down in his seat to look at your response. he grins and looks around to see if any of his classmates saw him.

he waited for everyone to leave after his class ended. his friend urges him to leave with him so they’ll do their project, but all he replies is that he’ll follow along. as his friend left, he popped off the cap of his sharpie and replied to your message.

'not all men, i’m different from them.’

you looked at the message and started writing your response as you waited for your teacher to start class.

“what if we skipped our next class? so we can see who’s answering your messages,” jisun suggests.

“no way. we’re going to be absent from our next class just because you’re curious about who’s answering.”

“nuh uh, it’s for love.”

from there, your conversations continued, with more of yours and his other friends being invested in this so-called love series.

'so you’re a guy. well, i hope you’re different from them.’

'hah! i’m a good guy :)’

'really now?’

jisun grabs your pen right after you finish writing, continuing your message with her writing.

'really now? do you have a girlfriend?’

'nope. i don’t think anyone would want to date me. what about you?’

she squeals at his response, lightly pushing you back and forth. “he’s single, (name), he’s single!” you scoff and ignore her antics.

'me neither. my friend won’t stop setting me up on dates.’

seokmin hasn’t replied to your message since. he’s afraid that this might be his last chance at love. he’s been rejected by so many girls, all for the same reason.

he just wasn’t good enough.

you thought the conversation ended there. it’s been days since you last wrote that, and the ink is starting to fade. jisun lost hope as well until the end of the week.

'maybe she can set us up together?’

“hurry up and ask for his name. i might know him!” she exclaims as you quickly write an answer.

'i’d love that. i’m (name).’

'seokmin :)’

svt masterlist .ᐟ

[lilacmingi]

MALEFICENT (DISNEY VILLAINS AU)

My works are 14+ ONLY. If you’re under 14 DO NOT interact with me or any of my works. NO SPAM-LIKING PLEASE

Pairing: Maleficent!Seonghwa x Princess!fem reader

Word count: 6,675

Note: Reminder to please not spam-like my works! Reading through a series and liking each part when you’re finished is fine but if you wanna have multiple works of mine saved to read later, like my masterlist instead! :)

In a kingdom tucked between rolling foothills and towering mountains was a beautiful princess who lived in a castle. She was the eldest of the King and Queen and was sought after by many men.

One day while out on a walk, she met a boy with horns and large wings that spread out past his shoulders. Though the boy seemed younger than her, his appearance was still intimidating and daunting.

The princess was terrified. She had never seen a creature such as he and cowered away in fear. He insisted he meant no harm, trying his best to assure her he wasn't a threat. He introduced himself so that maybe it would ease the girl's nerves. It took some patience and a bit of convincing until the princess hesitantly and cautiously began to approach the boy.

They somehow ended up talking and the princess soon found out he wasn't such a bad guy after all, in fact, he was pleasant to be around.

After that day, they continued to meet up, going on walks together, admiring nature, and sharing stories. The winged boy had fallen for the princess along the way, despite her being five years older than him. Seeing as he hadn't met many people, the age difference wasn't a problem in his eyes; she was the most beautiful person he had ever seen.

Time passed and eventually he couldn't take it anymore, couldn't hold back his feelings. He needed to set them free.

One sunny spring day, he led the princess out to a field overlooking the glistening streams winding and twisting throughout the valleys below. He poured his heart out, confessing the strong adoration he held for the princess.

Her bright smile faded as he laid out his heart.

"I'm sorry. I've already fallen for another." She told him.

It felt as if his heart was shattered—more like crushed.

He asked why, begged for a further explanation. The princess returned with a simple response.

"I love him."

That made the boy angry. They spent all that time together and she fell for another man?

"Is there something wrong with me?" He asked sharply.

"I'm sorry. I've only ever seen you as a younger brother. Even so, I don't think I could be with someone such as yourself."

"Such as myself? What's that supposed to mean?"

The princess began stumbling over her words, desperately trying to come up with an explanation.

"That's not what I meant." She tried to say.

The boy was already angry, but that comment sent him over the edge.

He lashed out at the princess, enraged that she didn't return his feelings and even more so that she referred to his appearance in a negative way. As he spit his words of poison, the sky turned gray; his powers unknowingly effecting the weather.

He told the princess he never wanted to see her again and disappeared, deep into the woods never to return.

Six years passed. The boy was now a man; 23 to be exact. Heartbroken and emotionally destroyed, he kept himself hidden in the forest, his home now surrounded by thorns to keep everyone away. He would never let his heart get broken again.

He hadn't seen another human in years so he assumed the wall of sharp spikes worked, until one day.

You meandered down the trails that lined the hillside. Life as royalty is suffocating, especially when you're always getting compared to your older sister. It's physically and emotionally exhausting and sometimes you just need to get away from it all.

You took in a deep breath, inhaling the fresh air; the many scents of nature mixing and mingling together in the most magical way. You trekked up the hill, admiring the beautiful flowers and wild plants that dotted it.

You reached a nice, flat area, sitting down in the lush grass and admiring the view. Scanning the horizon, your eyes landed on the tree line that sat on what everyone calls the boundary line. It was strange to you how the weather was different above the large cluster of trees compared to the rest of the sky. The clouds at the boundary line and beyond were dark and looked ominous. Not only that, but an area that overlooks the valleys was even affected by the dreary and bleak weather. No flowers or plants grew in that spot which you found odd.

You looked down at the tree line once again. There was something that tugged at your chest, drawing your towards it. It was an odd sensation that you hadn't felt before. Without realizing, you stood up, descending down the hill towards the edge of the forest.

You didn't think twice when you stepped over the boundary line and into the lush and mysterious grove.

The atmosphere became colder, darker, and even a bit eerie as you moved deeper into the woods—despite that, you refused to turn back, feeling like you needed to keep going.

You came upon a large wall of thorns that blocked the way. Your brows knit together as you tried to get a peek at what was behind it.

"What are you doing here?" Someone asked.

You let out a short gasp, spinning towards the voice.

Standing a few feet away was a man. His raven hair reached below his cheekbones, black tendrils hanging over his extremely handsome features, pointed ears peeking out from his dark locks. Emerging from the top of his head were two rather large horns, even larger wings on his back.

"Oh. I'm terribly sorry." You apologized.

"You need to leave." He spoke sharply. "You don't belong here."

"My apologies. I didn't think anyone lived here."

"Well, I do."

"What's your name?" You inquired.

"You don't need to know my name."

"But I'd like to."

He clenched his jaw, refusing to answer.

You tilted your head as you looked at the massive pair of wings on the man's back.

"I'm gonna call you Birdie."

"There's no need for that."

"So, you're gonna tell me your name?" You raised a brow.

"No."

"Okay then, Birdie."

He let out a long, drawn-out sigh.

"Seonghwa." He finally answered.

"What was that?"

"I'm not gonna say it again."

"Seonghwa." You repeated. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Y/n."

"I know who you are." He snapped.

"You do? But, I've never met you."

"I already asked you once. Leave."

You took a few steps forward, obeying his wishes only to stop when you got near him.

"Why do you live here? It's so dark and it seems a bit lonely."

"I like it that way."

You didn't respond as you walked away, leaving the strange man in the woods.

Seonghwa stood and watched you leave, wanting to make sure you didn't turn around—you didn't.

"Y/n L/n." He muttered under his breath his face scrunching in distaste.

He was glad you left. He couldn't hardly look at you without thinking of her.

Thoughts of the winged man in the woods filled your mind to the brim even after you returned home. You couldn't just forget about him, your good nature wouldn't let you. You knew something was troubling him. It was very clear that he was in anguish. You felt that tugging in your chest whenever you thought of him. That let you know you needed to go back to the man—and that you did.

Unfortunately, you weren't able to get away from the castle for a couple days thanks to your royal duties. However, today was perfect.

"I'm going out for a walk." You announced.

"Don't go past the boundary line, okay?" Your father called.

"Of course. I'll be sure to steer clear." You lied through your teeth, stepping outside.

The bottom of your shoes hit the grass rapidly as you raced across the field to the boundary line and into the forest.

"Seonghwa?" You called out.

No answer.

Assuming he was at home, you headed to the wall of thorns you were at just a few days prior. His house most likely resided just past the large barrier which you couldn't see past.

"Is anyone home?" You shouted.

Nothing.

"Seonghwa?"

Still no answer.

You let out a sigh and stepped away, going to search the woods. You very well could have just left, but something in you felt like this man needed you.

Leaves crunched beneath the bottom of your shoes as you trekked through the forest, determined to find the winged man.

Said man was out and about, flying above the trees. He loved the way the wind felt brushing past his wings and hair. He felt free and like he didn't have anything to worry about. That feeling, however, was diminished immediately when he saw you walking below.

You heard the sound of wings flapping above you. Lifting your gaze, you saw Seonghwa descending from the sky.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, his tone sharp and tinged with annoyance.

"I came to see you."

"You wasted your time. Go away."

"I just want a moment of your time. Please."

Seonghwa's jaw clenched. This was only his second time meeting you in person, but you infuriated him to no end.

Suddenly, vines emerged from the ground, wrapping tightly around your body and constricting your arms. You gasped, your heart jumping in your chest.

"What do you want?" He hissed, bringing his face closer to yours.

"I just feel like you need a friend."

"I don't need anyone." He seethed. "I'm not some charity case, okay? So stop treating me like one."

"That's not it. I just..." You trailed off, unsure of what to say.

"You just what?"

"I can't explain."

"Good." The vines loosened and retracted into the dirt. "I didn't wanna hear it anyway. Now leave and don't come back."

"But—"

"Leave!" His voice boomed.

You cowered slightly, shaken by his sudden outburst.

"Can I just ask you one question?" You asked weakly.

"If it'll make you leave, yes."

"Why are you the way that you are? Did something happen to make you this way?"

Seonghwa's jaw tightened. How could you ask something like that?

"That was two questions." He remarked.

"Someone hurt you in the past." You stated.

His eyes widened just slightly, but he was quick to recover, putting on his usual stony expression.

"I don't know who hurt you, but I'm truly sorry. I'm sure you didn't deserve it."

"I don't want your sympathy." He spat. "You don't know anything about me."

"That may be true, but I know someone hurt you deeply."

Your questions and responses were getting a little too personal for Seonghwa's liking. He wanted you out of his forest immediately.

"Get out of my sight before I burn you to a crisp." He snarled, green flames beginning to emerge from his palm.

You stared at the viridescent blaze before moving away from the winged man. You were afraid you had pushed him too far and you really didn't want to get yourself killed trying to befriend this strange forest-dwelling man, so you decided to give up.

"As you wish." You murmured, turning around and walking away.

The flames dissipated from Seonghwa's palm as he watched you get further and further away, but the more distant you got, the guiltier he felt. Why did he feel guilty?

He rolled his eyes and let out a huff before shooting off towards you. With a few flaps of his wings he was directly in front of you, stopping you in your tracks.

"I have a question for you." He spoke. "How do you know someone hurt me? It could be something else, so why did you say that?"

"Well, normally when someone shuts themselves off from the world and isolates themselves, it's because someone hurt them. When I said that, your eyes twitched. Actually, they widened slightly, but you were so quick to cover it up, it looked like your eyelids twitched."

The expression on Seonghwa's face changed slightly and you could tell he was surprised by your response.

"I'm very perceptive." You explained.

"Evidently so."

"Well, if that's all you needed, I should be going." You took a step forward only for him to stop you.

"Wait."

You turned to face him, watching as he slightly rolled his eyes, letting out a sigh as if he was dreading the words he was about to speak.

"I'm... sorry." He forced out. "I shouldn't have been so harsh with you."

"Thank you. I appreciate that."

"Do you want to come back to my place? I could... make you some tea." The offer was genuine, but he seemed hesitant about it.

"I would love that."

"Very well." He gave a short nod and headed back towards his place.

You followed behind until he came to a stop at the large wall of thorns, waving his hand over the prickly, dead vines. You watched in awe as they separated just enough for the both of you to pass. Behind the thorn barrier sat a quaint little cottage, which you couldn't even see if you were standing outside the wall.

The interior of the cabin was incredibly cozy and had a warm ambiance to it. There were dried flowers in frames on the walls, books lining the shelves, along with little trinkets and tchotchkes littering the shelving.

"Have a seat." Seonghwa gestured to a small table as he proceeded to the kitchen.

You twiddled your thumbs anxiously as Seonghwa prepared tea for the both of you.

You watched from the table as he worked until the hot beverage was finished. He brought over a teapot and two cups, pouring tea into each one. You quietly thanked him and took a small sip.

"Now, why have you come back here?" He inquired bluntly.

So we're getting right down to business. You thought to yourself.

"It's silly." You brushed it off.

"What's silly?"

"The reason why I came back."

"I'd like an answer regardless of how it sounds."

"Very well." You sighed. "I felt a tugging in my chest. I felt like I was being pulled towards you. I don't know why, but I assume I wasn't feeling that way for no reason. Maybe it was my conscience."

Seonghwa's thick brows pulled together in a almost suspicious manner as he eyed you.

To be honest, your answer didn't sound outlandish to him. In fact, you were probably right. Your conscience was telling you to come see him for whatever reason. That he could understand. What he couldn't understand was why it had to be you.

"Right. So, you had this tugging in your chest. Your conscience, inner voice, whatever drawing you here. Now what?"

"I don't know." You shrugged. "I was kind of hoping we could be friends."

Friends? Seonghwa thought.

Why would he want that? Why would you want that?

You took a sip of tea and cleared your throat, feeling a bit awkward due to the silence.

"You have a lovely home." You complimented.

"Thanks."

"So." Your nails tapped lightly against the glass of the teacup. "What sort of creature are you, if you don't mind my asking."

"I'm a dark fairy." He answered.

"Ah. I've heard of them, I've just never seen one before. Your kind must be rare."

"They are."

Well, this conversation is going nowhere. You thought, sighing internally.

Your eyes drifted down to the table, staring at the grain of the wood like it was the most interesting thing in the world. In that moment, it was.

"Sorry." Seonghwa spoke up. "I haven't spoken to another person in a while. I'm not used to having guests."

"It's fine." You brushed it off.

"So, do the king and queen know you're here? I'm sure they wouldn't want the princess hanging out with someone like me."

"How do you know I'm a princess?"

"I told you I know who you are."

"Right." You muttered. "To answer your question, no."

Seonghwa raised a brow. "Really? You're doing this behind their backs?"

"I am."

"Hm." He hummed. "Maybe I underestimated you."

"Maybe you did." You shrugged. "So, are you gonna tell me who hurt you so bad?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"It's not the time." He answered, simply.

The atmosphere became quiet again and you struggled to come up with something to talk about.

"I like the dried flowers you have framed on the walls."

"Thanks. I did that myself."

"You did?"

He nodded.

"You have some near knickknacks on your shelves as well."

"I collected most of them. They're all from different places. Some were even gifted to me by some of the creatures that used to dwell in these woods."

Your eyes sparkled as Seonghwa talked, he hated it. He hated it because it made him feel things. Feelings he hadn't felt in so long.

That's why it was so hard to just push you away. He couldn't help but want to be nice to you.

"The tea is really good." You mentioned.

"Thanks. It's my own tea."

"You make your own tea?" You asked.

"I do. I collect berries and stuff in the woods, dry them out, and make my own tea bags."

You found that extremely endearing for some reason. Perhaps it was because Seonghwa seemed so intimidating and knowing he made his own tea made him seem a bit softer.

You returned home from yet another "walk." That was the excuse you used when you went to spend time with Seonghwa. You felt that you had made lots of progress with him. He no longer seemed distant when you spoke and he had even smiled a few times. Something else that changed was the feelings you developed for the dark fairy. The two of you had only known each other for about three weeks, but it felt like much longer.

You pushed open the doors to the castle and stepped inside only to be met with your mother and father, who looked rather worried.

"Where have you been?" Your dad asked.

"I told you, I went out for a walk."

"You were gone for so long." Your mom mentioned.

"I guess I lost track of time. Sorry."

"Well." Sighed your father. "It can't be helped. Come here. There's someone I want you to meet."

Your parents led you into the common room where you saw a woman and a younger man sitting on the couch.

You vaguely recognized the two, but you knew they were royals from another kingdom.

"Y/n, this is Queen Son and Prince Dongju."

"Hello." You bowed, politely.

"We invited them over because there are things we needed to discuss." You dad explained.

"What kind of things?" You asked.

"The wedding." Dongju's mom mentioned.

"Wedding?" You questioned.

"Oh." His mom placed a hand over her mouth. "She doesn't know yet, does she?"

"Mom, dad, what's going on?"

"Y/n, Dongju is your fiancé." Your dad said.

"Fiancé?!" You exclaimed.

You hadn't meant to raise your voice, but this was news to you.

"Honey, please calm down." Your mom spoke quietly.

"You've never discussed an arranged marriage with me." You spoke more calmly, trying not to let your temper get ahead of you.

"We know." Your dad nodded.

"Then why? You both told me I could be with whoever I wanted."

"You're getting to the age where you should start settling down. We've been waiting for you to find someone, but you haven't."

"So, I took too long?"

"That's not why." Your mom cut in.

"Maybe I just haven't found the right person."

That was a lie. You had found the right person. You knew your parents wouldn't approve of him, though. Especially considering the fact that he lived behind the forbidden boundary line.

"It doesn't matter now. We've chosen Prince Dongju for you to marry." Your dad spoke. "He's a wonderful young man and you two getting married will be good for both kingdoms."

You sighed, knowing you couldn't do anything about it.

"Now, we would like for the two of you to get to know each other. Him and his mother will be staying with us for the next few days so the two of you can get acquainted. That means no more going on walks."

You felt all the blood drain from your face as your father said those last few words.

No more walks.

That means no seeing Seonghwa until the prince and his family leave.

The first day was torture. All you could think about was Seonghwa. You wondered how he was doing and if he wanted to know where you were. Was he waiting for you?

Millions of questions swirled in your head as you sat with Dongju. You were hardly able to keep a conversation going as your mind filled with more thoughts of Seonghwa.

"Oh. I have a twin brother."

You blinked a few times, zoning back into the conversation.

"Hm?"

"I have a twin brother."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He's my fraternal twin. His name is Dongmyeong. He's back home with my father. Someone had to stay behind and run things while mother and I made this trip here."

"Ah." You nodded. "Is it hard to being away from your brother?"

"Not really. We're close, but sometimes I need a break from him." He chuckled.

Meanwhile, the dark fairy sat at home, his fingers tapping against his table.

"Where is she?" He asked, aloud.

He wondered where you were and why you hadn't showed up yet. He quickly decided that you were probably busy and chose to brush it off. Plus, he was still in denial of his feelings for you and forced himself to think that he didn't care for you as deeply as he really did.

You sat in your room, a heavy feeling in your chest. You missed Seonghwa. You hadn't seen him in three days and you wanted nothing more than to go spend time with him.

A tapping on your window caught your attention. You glanced over at the glass doors to your balcony, gasping when you saw Dongju outside. Jumping from your place on the bed, you scrambled over to the doors, stepping out on the balcony.

"Dongju, what are you doing here? Did you climb up here by yourself?"

"I did." He answered, breathlessly. "I wanted to talk to you."

"And you couldn't use my door to do it?"

"I had to speak to you privately. I didn't want anyone to see me."

"What's so important that you had to climb my balcony to tell me?"

"I don't want this marriage either."

Your eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yeah. You're a sweet girl, but I don't feel that way about you."

"I feel exactly the same. You're really nice and I like you, but not in a romantic way."

"I'm glad we're on the same page." He smiled. "I've been wanting to tell you, but every time we get "alone" time, my mom or your parents are nearby. I just felt that I couldn't tell you this knowing they were around."

"I totally understand." You nodded. "So, what should we do about this?"

Seonghwa had become worried at this point. He hadn't seen you in three days. He went back and forth with himself trying to decide if he was going to see your or not. He really wanted to, but he hasn't left the forest ever, especially not after she broke his heart.

Before he could change his mind, he got up and hurried outside, taking to the sky.

He flew directly to the castle, hoping to see you—and he did. Upon his arrival, he spotted you and some guy outside on a balcony. You were chatting with him, looking more than happy as you did so. Seonghwa's chest began to ache as that all-too-familiar feeling of heartbreak crashed over him, except this time it was worse, so much worse.

"Okay. So we talk to our parents tomorrow and tell them we both don't want this marriage." You stated.

"Right." Dongju nodded.

"My parents are very understanding, so I'm sure we can get this sorted out."

"I hope so."

"Thank you for coming to talk to me." You thanked him, leaning in to give him a hug of appreciation, which he kindly returned.

As if things weren't bad already, you leaned in and hugged the guy. Seonghwa's heart felt as if it was being crushed. He wanted to cry, but more than anything, he wanted to do something bad—something horrible. He could feel the heat of his powers rising to the surface of his palms as small, green embers began to emerge from his hands. Then, your eyes met his.

Your brows raised at the sight of him. You hadn't expected to see him outside of the forest, let alone outside your home.

"Seonghwa!" You called out, parting with Dongju.

The prince turned his head to see who you had called out to, gasping when he saw the dark fairy hovering a few feet away.

Seonghwa grimaced at you before turning around and flying back towards his home.

"Seonghwa!" You called out to him again, but he ignored you, too heartbroken to even look at you.

You stared at the spot Seonghwa previously occupied, worry filling you to the brim.

"Who was that?" Asked Dongju.

You sighed, dropping your head. "Someone I've recently become close with. I've been sneaking off to meet him."

"What?"

"Yeah. He lives that way in the forest." You pointed, not lifting your head. "I'm not allowed to go past the tree line, but I have been for weeks."

The air became silent after your confession. You lifted your head to look at Dongju who had a soft expression on his face.

"You love him, don't you?"

Your eyes widened. "What?"

"I can tell." Dongju nodded.

"You're right." You sighed. "I do love him."

"You should tell him that."

"And how do you suggest I do that? I haven't been allowed off the grounds since you showed up. Besides, I don't even think I can. With both your mom and my parents constantly hovering over us, I won't have a chance to leave."

The next day, Dongju did his best to comfort you. You appreciated his efforts, but nothing could cheer you up. You stared at your plate of food, pushing it around with your fork.

"You need to eat your breakfast, Y/n." Dongju spoke, care and concern lacing his voice.

"I'm not hungry."

"You should eat something. Even if you just have a couple bites of toast."

You decided to listen to him, especially since his mother and your parents were watching from the other side of the table. You took a few bites of toast along with one measly bite of eggs which seemed to satisfy Dongju.

"They're getting along so well." Dongju's mom gushed.

After breakfast, your parents and Dongju's mother went out on the terrace to have tea and discuss wedding plans. For the first time since the arrival of the neighboring royals, you and Dongju were alone.

"Hey. Let's go on a walk." The prince suggested.

"I don't know." You murmured.

"C'mon. Some fresh air would do you some good."

You sighed, knowing he was right. "Okay."

The both of you got up and went outside to the terrace.

"King and Queen L/n, mom. Y/n and I are going on a walk together." Dongju mentioned.

"That sounds wonderful. Make sure you take one of the guards with you." Your mom said.

"Yes. It's better to be safe." Dongju's mom added.

"Of course." Dongju nodded.

The both of you made your way out of the castle, stopping momentarily by the guards.

"Princess Y/n and I will be going on a walk. We won't be needing your services today." He told the two guards.

"As you wish, your highness." They nodded.

With that, you and Dongju took off, embarking on your walk.

You weren't paying attention to anything as you trailed behind Dongju. You just followed him, dragging your feet through the grass.

"Where are we going?" You asked.

"It's a surprise."

You sighed, not in the mood for any surprises.

"We're almost there."

"Almost where?"

"It's a secret."

You shook your head, but allowed him to lead you to this secret location. You kept your eyes cast on the ground, watching your feet as you walked.

"Alright. We're here!" Dongju announced, prompting you go lift your head.

You gasped. You were stood in front of the tree line, the clouds looming above the sticklike branches of the trees.

"Why did you bring me here?" You asked Dongju.

"You have to talk to him."

You opened your mouth to say something, but he spoke up.

"You've got time. I'll be waiting right here."

You gave him a soft smile. "Thank you."

Taking a step forward, you passed the boundary line and made your way into the forest, determined to speak to Seonghwa.

You approached the wall of thorns that separated the dark fairy's home from the rest of the forest, hoping to see Seonghwa. You called his name, but he didn't show, leading you to believe he either wasn't home or he was ignoring you.

"Seonghwa." You croaked.

No answer.

"I don't know if you're in there, but I wanted to say I'm sorry. I know what you saw looked really bad, but I promise you, it's not what you think it is." You got no answer in return, but continued anyway. "You're very dear to me, Seonghwa." Your voice became shaky as you spoke. "You deserve the truth and that's what I want to tell you."

Seonghwa, who was on the other side of the wall listening, couldn't take it anymore. When he heard your voice crack, that was it.

Before you could speak another word, the thorns cleared and Seonghwa emerged from the opening, rushing over to you.

"Don't cry." He murmured, wiping your tears.

"Seonghwa." You sobbed.

"Shh." He shushed you, brushing your hair away from your face. "Please don't cry."

"I'm sorry." You whimpered. "I just thought I'd never see you again."

He let out a sigh. "I need to take you somewhere."

You didn't have time to speak as he scooped you up into his arms, causing a small yelp to escape you.

"Hang on tight."

Seonghwa shot into the sky, his large, inky wings flapping powerfully behind him as he carried the both of you over the trees.

You clung tightly to him as you gazed below you. Everything was so pretty from up there in the sky. It almost made you forget about your worries. Almost.

Seonghwa took you to the spot that overlooked the kingdom—the one that was always shaded by ominous clouds. Now, they had cleared, the spot now illuminated by the glow of the sun. He landed softly in the grass, setting you down.

"Let's sit." He motioned.

The two of you took a seat in the grass, admiring the view.

"Seonghwa, I have something to tell you." You spoke up.

"No." He stopped you. "I need to say this first."

You respectfully allowed him to say his piece.

"I think I've fallen for you." He admitted.

"What?"

The confession took you by surprise.

"I hated you at first. You were so persistent in trying to be friends with me and it was annoying, but eventually I started to enjoy your company. I began worrying if you showed up a little late and found myself thinking of you when you weren't around."

You frowned, your heart sinking.

"I'm sorry." You murmured.

"Let me guess. You can't be with a creature like me. Is that it?" He remarked, bitterly.

"No, not at all. It's not that."

"You don't have to lie, Y/n."

"I'm not. Seonghwa, I've fallen for you too, but..." You trailed off. "I'm arranged to be married. I was taking too long to find someone and so my parents are trying to force me to marry a prince from a nearby kingdom. That's who you saw me with last night."

Seonghwa looked relieved and saddened at the same time.

"Then why did you seem so happy. And why did I see you hug him?"

"He came to tell me that he didn't want to get married. He's just as against this as I am, and it made me happy. I hugged him because I was glad he came to tell me that. We actually planned to speak to our parents today, but he brought me here to talk to you."

"He did?"

"Yes. I haven't been allowed to leave because my parents want me and Prince Dongju to 'get to know each other.' but after what happened last night, he encouraged me to confess to you. In fact, he told our parents we were going on a walk and brought me here. I didn't even know this is where he was taking me."

"So he snuck you out just so you could come and explain everything to me?"

You nodded. "And to tell you that I love you."

Seonghwa leaned forward, bringing his hand up to cup your cheek, his thumb caressing your cheekbone. You saw his eyes dart down to your lips as if to silently ask permission to make a move. You answered by moving your face closer to his, your cheeks becoming warm.

Seonghwa lessened the space between your mouths, your eyes closing in response to the kiss. His lips were soft against yours, moving delicately and carefully. Your hands moved to his hair, grabbing onto the long strands at the base of his neck. It was a brief kiss, but it lingered even after Seonghwa pulled away.

"You remember when you asked me who hurt me so badly?" He questioned.

"Yeah."

"Well, that person was your older sister. I was in love with her—well, I thought I was in love with her. I brought her to this very spot and confessed my feelings. She told me she loved someone else and that she only saw me as a little brother. I reacted pretty badly and shut myself off from everyone." He explained.

Everything then began to make sense. When your sister started dating her now husband, you noticed how parts of the land were constantly covered in dark clouds, but you didn't ever think much of it. After that, your parents started telling you not to cross into the forest and that it was forbidden. It also made sense why your sister wanted to move away so quickly after she married. However, you never knew about any of this.

"Do you still have those feelings for her?" You asked, not wanting Seonghwa to be in love with you because of your older sister.

"No." He answered, lacing his fingers with yours. "I said I thought I loved her. I was just a kid. I realize now that I just liked her company and I confused it for love. The person I truly love is you."

Your heart swelled with warmth and adoration.

"I want you to come back to the castle with me."

"Really? Are you sure?"

"Yes. Dongju is waiting down there for me. You can return to the castle with us."

"Okay." Seonghwa nodded.

He flew you back to the tree line where Dongju was waiting. He was surprised to see you come back with Seonghwa, but happy that it seemed the two of you had patched things up.

You then explained the plan you had, telling Dongju that Seonghwa would be coming back to the castle with you both.

Once you made it home, you noticed your parents and Dongju's mom were still outside on the terrace. You instructed Seonghwa to stay inside until you motioned for him to step out. He nodded, allowing you and Dongju to go outside.

"Mom." The prince spoke up as you both approached. "Y/n and I have something to tell you—all of you."

You nodded.

"We don't want to get married."

"What?" Dongju's mom asked.

"It's true. Neither of us want this marriage." You spoke up. "Plus, I'm already in love with someone."

"What?" Your dad asked in disbelief.

"You've never told us." Your mom mentioned.

"I wasn't ready to say anything. Now, I am."

You then moved towards the doors leading to the terrace, motioning for Seonghwa to come outside.

The doors opened and he stepped out, all three parents gasping.

"Y/n, why have you brought this man here?" Your father asked.

"Because I love him."

"Do you know who this is?"

"I do."

"Y/n, this is the man that caused your sister so much sadness."

"He did no such thing." You defended. "He was hurt, that's why he lashed out at her. And as for my sister, she moved on and moved away. She has a husband and a life of her own now."

"Your majesty." Seonghwa spoke up. "I apologize for anything I might have done to make you or your daughter upset. I was 17 and just happy to have found someone who wanted to spend time with me. I confused it for love and when your oldest daughter turned me down, it hurt me and I lashed out. I said some harsh things to her and I'm deeply sorry."

Your father scowled as he looked at Seonghwa, then his gaze turned to you, his face softening.

"Dongju, what do you have to say about this?"

"Like I mentioned earlier, I didn't want to marry Y/n in the first place. I much prefer her be with someone she knows and loves." He answered.

"You don't know this man, Y/n." Your mother spoke up.

"I do. You see, I've been going to meet with him."

Your parents gasped, aghast at this revelation.

"I've gotten to know him over time and truth is, we both love each other."

As you spoke those words, you reached out, lacing your fingers with Seonghwa's. Both your parents saw this gesture.

"Look at them, honey." Your mom spoke quietly. "Do you see how their faces glow? They really do love each other."

Your father seemed to go back and forth with himself for a few moments before nodding his head. "You're right."

You felt a little bit of hope spark within you as your dad approached Seonghwa. You were surprised when your father held his hand out to Seonghwa. The dark fairy took hold, giving your dad's hand a firm shake.

"I accept your apology." Your father stated.

"Thank you, your majesty."

"But, I want you to treat my Y/n right."

"I will, sir. Promise."

"Good."

The plans for the wedding were cancelled and Dongju and his mother went back home. Your parents allowed you to spend time with Seonghwa and the ban on crossing the boundary line was lifted.

The dark clouds that constantly hung over the forest cleared and all the creatures that dwelled there came out of hiding. You didn't even know there were any other creatures besides Seonghwa that lived in the woods.

The two of you sat in the lush grass in the same spot where he confessed to you. The sun shone down on the entire kingdom, cloaking it in warmth. You plucked another flower from the grass, placing it in Seonghwa's dark hair with the others. You had given him a makeshift flower crown, placing the blooms around his head.

"How do I look, darling?" He asked.

"Beautiful."

He grinned, pulling you closer to him.

He pressed a soft kiss to your lips, his finger resting under your chin as he moved his head ever so slightly to the side, deepening the kiss.

When you parted ways, you couldn't help but smile, still overjoyed that the two of you were able to be together.

You were so thankful you chose to step past the boundary line that day, because if you hadn't, you and Seonghwa wouldn't have met each other, and you definitely wouldn't have gotten the happy ending you have now.

Hongjoong: Hades ⟡ Yunho: Captain Hook ⟡ Yeosang: Evil Queen ⟡ San: Cruella de Vil ⟡ Mingi: Dr. Facilier ⟡ Wooyoung: Hyena ⟡ Jongho: Gaston

Masterlist ᝰ — enjoyed this imagine? reblogs & comments are very much appreciated!

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[bvidzsoo]

Love Me Like A Rockstar (14)

ー☆ Chapter 14: Follow You

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader

ー☆ Warning: none ー☆ Word count: 7.8k ー☆ Genre: university!au, enemies to lovers!au, rockstar!au ー☆ Rating: sfw ー☆ Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?

A/N: Hello, my lovelies! And the last actual chapter is here (as I still have an epilogue ready for you all), I can't believe we're wrapping up LMLAR and that I have to let go of the characters I have created for this story. I can't lie, I might have become really attached to Mingi in this story because I accidentally portrayed in him my ideal type, but what's new? I somehow always manage to hurt myself when I write with Mingi lol (ig that's the burden I have to carry if I write a story with my bias lol) I will be going on a holiday for possibly two weeks, so that means I won't be able to write nor update for two weeks (which sounds horrible and I'm already dying over it, but I hope I'll manage to find time to still write even if a little). Now, don't worry too much about the epilogue and I ask you to read the note at the end of this chapter attentively! ;) For once, I am asking you all to listen to Follow You after you've finished the chapter and not before or during it! I'm curious if the lyrics will be familiar hehe. I hope you enjoy this chapter, and let me know through feedback <3 divider

Taglist: @orshii @or5i @lovely-red2 @scarfac3 @juicy-red

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@catchingskzzzs @tesssaurrr @ginger-mingi @mingisbbg

⟨Series M.list ↭ Previous Chapter⟩

♫Playlist♫

            Being here with him, doing this with him had no business being so nerve-wracking. This was Mingi, the guy I hated at first—did I?—and then found a friend in and—well, now found something more in him—wanted more from him. But the flutter of my heart and my stomach twisting despite still feeling somewhat calm, reminded me that no matter that I was with Mingi, this was a completely new setting for us. Yes, it was just the two of us going out and about, but at the same time, it was a date. Something we both discussed and agreed upon, leaving our houses with the purpose of going on this date, the two of us. And perhaps it wasn’t even me feeling nervous about going on a date with Mingi per se, but more the fact that I hadn’t done something like this in ages, which made me feel giddy about it. Like a child when they get the present they really wanted on Christmas Eve.

Mingi, like the true gentleman he was, had picked me up once we were both done with our classes for the day, the sun only half an hour away from setting. The sky had been coated in orange and pink hues as Mingi drove us to an unknown location, grinning from ear to ear as he talked about his day to fill the silence since his old Honda’s stereo had stopped working a few days ago. I didn’t mind that, not at all, if that meant I got to listen to his deep voice and excited tone as he told me about his professor asking about Outlaw and whether he was allowed to attend one of Noir Zenith’s performances. It seemed like word had gotten out lately about Mingi’s band, and even more people from our university were interested in watching them play, I feared soon Outlaw wouldn’t be enough to house the fans. The thought made me feel—made me feel proud and happy for him. Mingi deserved this, he was hard-working and diligent, and I wished him nothing but the best.

When I realized that Mingi was driving us to a rather high-end part of the city with tall and fancy buildings, I found myself more nervous about the surprise he had in mind for me. I didn’t exactly want to dine out in a super expensive restaurant—it really wasn’t my thing—but if this is what Mingi prepared for us, I wouldn’t mind. I knew I’d enjoy myself as long as he was by my side. But, thankfully, he veered us away from the main street and drove down a few narrower ones, buildings nestled together and looking cozier than ever. Graffiti and murals covered every second bricked wall, and I watched curiously as Mingi pulled over and parked the car at the side of the road, in front of a black building, smaller than the ones in the area but a lot more modern and fancier looking. It was dark inside and looked unlived in, but I didn’t question him when he just grinned and grabbed a blanket and basket out of the backseat, then grabbed my hand and guided me towards its front door.

He had fumbled with the key for a second and I snickered at him as he flushed, but then we were inside and I watched in awe the high windows, the place vacant of anything. It was dark, now with the sun setting as well, and I noticed that quite a few lightbulbs were still missing, but Mingi grabbed my hand and walked us towards the end of the hallway.

“Are you sure we’re supposed to be here?” I asked quietly, as if afraid someone would hear us. The place was unfurnished still and Mingi hummed as I noticed light coming from a room whose archway was covered by a black blanket so that you couldn’t see inside. I had paused and looked at Mingi questioningly as he chewed on his bottom lip, then released my hand and yanked the blanket down. My eyes widened at the scenery inside, completely taken aback by the fairy lights strung above and the fort which was built by three stands and a blanket dangled over them. Besides the fairy lights, there was a projector and the white wall was covered in the image of a forest, with a creek slowly flowing through, and the distant sound of birds chirping echoed around the room, it was quiet so as not to disturb any conversation.

My jaw was completely on the floor as I felt my heart race even faster, completely in awe at the view in front of me. I couldn’t believe someone would do something so sweet for me, and as I turned to look at Mingi, for the first time, he looked nervous. He smiled tentatively and I noticed his trembling fingers as he pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his tall nose, and then without thinking, I threw myself in his arms, hugging his torso tightly as I gnawed on my bottom lip, embarrassed by the sudden tears in my eyes as I buried my head in his chest. Mingi made a surprised noise in the back of his throat but didn’t hesitate to return the embrace, and I had to gulp multiple times to try and get rid of the lump in my throat. Nobody has ever done something this nice for me. It was thoughtful, there was effort put into it, and I knew Mingi did this all by himself.

“So, based on your reaction, I assume you like this?” He didn’t sound smug or playful, he sounded genuinely curious, and for a second, I couldn’t believe I was stupid enough to even think of ruining a relationship with someone this precious.

“I love it, Mingi.” I whispered into his chest, the softener of his clothes carrying a flowery scent that mingled with his cologne that I was familiar with by now. It felt safe, it felt warm, and Mingi was comforting to be around.

“Oh, that’s good.” He heaved a sigh and I finally managed to get rid of the tears as I pulled my head back to look up at him, his cheeks were flushed a deep red, a great contrast against his tanned skin and platinum hair, “I was scared you’d hate it, but Wooyoung told me to trust my gut, so I did.”

I smiled and released him, stepping back to offer him space so that he could proceed with his plans. He beckoned me further inside the warm room, towards the fort as he laid the blanket out on a mattress for us, placing the picnic basket next to it, “If the weather would’ve allowed it, I would’ve loved taking you down to the creek for a little picnic under the warm sun, but autumn and winter suck, so I had to get creative.”

“I wasn’t expecting anything less from you.” I chuckled as I had walked towards him, shrugging off my long coat. Mingi followed suit and I took my time to take in his attire, loose black jeans held onto his narrow hips by a thick belt, a beige sweater tucked in slightly at the front, and a black denim jacket with the sleeves rolled up. His wrists were decorated with beaded bracelets, the rings toned down as he only had three on his left and one on his right hand, three necklaces dangling at different lengths around his neck. His nails were bare today, void of the familiar black tint. And, without meaning to, it seemed like we wore matching outfits for our date. I wore black jeans which was loose at the knees paired with a black off-shoulder long-sleeved blouse and a beige sweater with holes over it. I didn’t want to comment on my observations as Mingi settled on the mattress with a grin, patting the spot next to him, “What’s this place though? Are you sure we’re allowed to be here?”

Mingi chuckled as he opened the basket, pulling out the thermos I had brought the hot chocolate in for him days ago, and then he grabbed two mugs, “I pulled some strings for us to be here, but we’re not trespassing, so don’t worry.”

“Who owns this building?” I asked curiously as I watched Mingi pour hot chocolate into the mugs.

“Well, last I heard Hongjoong bought it, so…” My eyes widened as I had taken the mug from Mingi, curious to know more, “This building will be Seonghwa’s art studio. He wishes to launch a brand soon, and Hongjoong thought it would be best if Seonghwa has his own office, or studio as Hwa likes to call it. I think he wants to turn the front lobby into a smaller art gallery of sorts, you should talk to him and see whether he’s interested in displaying your paintings and drawings.”

I hummed, thrilled at the idea of having my own exposition one day, “I don’t think I have enough creations for him to display just yet, but I will keep it in mind.”

It’s my dream to be a well-known painter all around the world, to have to travel to display my art in various galleries, to have people interpret my works to their liking and imagination, and to be able to spread a message through my work. I love creating and I love sharing my deepest thoughts through whatever I put on a canvas, or in my sketchbook and, perhaps, I love it even more when someone else appreciates it and interprets it through their own lens, through their own experiences.

Being here with Mingi felt warm, it made me forget about every concern I had prior, completely disregarding my nervous state as I now found myself comfortable sitting beside him and sipping on our hot chocolate, snacking from time to time on popcorn and whatever salty snack Mingi had prepared for us. The scenery through the projector never changed, and I found the chirping of the birds and the flow of the water as white noise rather relaxing. If I closed my eyes, I could easily picture myself with Mingi by the creek, the two of us sitting on a blanket in the green grass, the warm sun beaming down on us as we laughed and talked about whatever came to mind. It seemed like time passed by like a slug when in reality, it was flying away way too fast, but neither one of us cared. Wooyoung and Seulgi knew we were on a date—and since this building was Hongjoong and Seonghwa’s, they probably knew we were here too—and I had told my mother earlier today that I was going out with Mingi. There was no point hiding anything from her anymore, and she was beyond excited to hear the news. She had a night shift today, but she promised to pester me at breakfast about every single detail tomorrow, swearing she wouldn’t go to sleep until we had the chance to talk. And when she put her mind to something, I knew she would follow through with it.

Mingi and I had been talking non-stop since the whole fiasco in his studio—through texts, phone calls, or in person—and I found myself craving to be around him more and more. Surprising even myself, I bought pastries just the other day before going to my first class, and knowing Mingi would be in his studio, I surprised him with his favorite pastry before I was off to class, not wanting to bother him anymore. It also didn’t come as much of a surprise when he and Wooyoung sat with me and Seulgi at lunch, Mingi huddled up close to me as he wouldn’t stop nagging me about eating more, giving me half of his portion despite me not being able to stomach it. In the end, he finished both of our lunches, and I couldn’t have been happier. Seulgi and Wooyoung didn’t comment much on our antics, but I knew Seulgi was dying to tease me. I knew I was in for it later in our art class, and I wasn’t wrong.

The tension I felt around Mingi—due to not being completely honest with him—had now completely disappeared and was, instead, replaced with a tingling feeling that made me giggle and flush any time I allowed my thoughts to stray towards him. Towards his tall build, his firm muscles, his deep and raspy voice that covered my skin in chills any time I listened to it, and his sharp eyes that could make anyone weak in the knees unless they were creased due to his wide smile. His long nose and crooked teeth and that wide smile that had my stomach doing weird flips, his throaty giggles and rarely flushed cheeks. His hands, which were always warm in contrast to his chunky silver rings, which, surprisingly, have become comforting whenever they dug into my skin, his thick fingers intertwined with mine. His cologne and scent, which had me craving more of him, his clothes tucked away securely in my closet—and if perhaps one of my hoodies’ started smelling like Mingi, nobody had to know that I would snuggle up in it before falling asleep. His arms, which always brought a wave of comfort with them and made me feel smaller than anyone has managed to make me feel before. His hands and nails which I would stare at and flush whenever Mingi noticed what I had been doing, and ultimately, his platinum blonde hair, a color that I started loving instead of hating so ardently. It suited him, it made him look unfairly handsome, it sharpened his high cheekbones and his well-defined jaw, gave his eyes more depth and sharpness, and yes, I loved the color, but I also missed his naturally black hair. It made him look softer, more like the Mingi he was on the inside, easily fooling others of his true personality.

A personality that was goofy and giddy, yet a personality that felt everything intensely and spoke boldly, expressing himself directly and never expecting anything besides fair treatment and the truth in return. Mingi was a sensitive soul who offered without asking anything back in return, and he was rewarded rightfully by those around him who appreciated and loved him. He was easily lovable and I found it harder each day that passed by to ignore the need to cherish and protect him. I didn’t think coming clean with my feelings would be such a liberating feeling, that it would make everything so much easier to accept, to mull over. I was scared, of course, I still was, but I felt hopeful. I knew Mingi well enough by now to know he’d never pressure me into anything I didn’t want, that he’d never make me feel uncomfortable, and that he’d always take it slow if that’s what I needed.

When our mindless chatter finally subsided, the two of us now laid on our backs, staring up at the moon Mingi had hung up in the fort—it felt serene. I knew we were nearing late evening by now, but I couldn’t find it in myself to actually care, to actually look at my phone to check the time. I didn’t even want to look at my wristwatch to see—I wished to stay in this moment with Mingi for as long as possible. We had eaten almost all the snacks he brought and the hot chocolate had been long gone now, all we did was enjoy each other’s company right now. With a finger fiddling with the holes in my sweater, I reached the pinkie of my other hand out until I could poke at Mingi’s hand. I didn’t look at him, but I could see from my peripheral that his eyes were closed. He hummed when I poked his pinkie again, and then, finally gave in as he hooked our pinkies together, sending my heart into a frenzy as I tried to remind myself that this wasn’t the first time we’d be holding hands—it did nothing to my poor flushed cheeks nor churning stomach, I was horrible at hiding how he made me feel.

“Can I ask you something?” Mingi’s voice was quiet as if not to disturb our peace. He sounded just a little bit hesitant, and I got a feeling of what our next subject would be about. I hummed and listened as he took a deep breath, then asked his question, “Do you hate Yunho?”

My eyebrows furrowed as I glanced at Mingi, his eyes were still closed, except that now he was gnawing on his lower lip nervously instead of looking at ease. I didn’t have to think much about his question, I don’t think I have ever felt such negative feelings against someone before, “No, I could never hate anyone, to be honest. However, I did resent him for a long time.”

“And now?” I could understand his curiosity and the need to know more about whatever was once between Yunho and me. It didn’t make me feel uncomfortable, I was rather thankful that we could openly discuss it. I know that if it bothered him, Mingi would’ve told me because that’s who he was. We didn’t hold secrets from each other, we spoke directly and honestly.

“I don’t feel anything,” I whispered with a small shrug, finding it weird how impartial I had become to Jeong Yunho. A few months ago I still couldn’t think of him without distaste, let alone talk about him without my stomach dropping and heart clenching. I still didn’t appreciate the way he’s treated me, of course, I didn’t, but I found it easy to let go, to not care anymore at all, “It’s been over five years that we dated, and I’ve been over him for a long time now.”

“But you couldn’t completely let go,” Mingi muttered and I had to gulp, not that surprised that he saw right through me.

“He was my first love, my first in everything so I—” I gulped, wondering whether this was uncomfortable or not for Mingi to discuss, but he intertwined our fingers and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. I took a deep breath and slowly continued, “I was attached to him, people always say you’ll forever remember the first person you truly loved, and I think they are right. It’s a bittersweet memory, to be honest, but not something I feel locked down in anymore. Even the resentment I felt towards him now feels so distant like it happened ages ago and not months ago. It feels good and refreshing to have gotten rid of such consuming thoughts and emotions despite never saying it out loud. I hated myself for latching onto that last fraction of emotion I felt towards Yunho, thinking it would make his life as miserable as he made mine but in reality, I was only holding myself back and hurting myself furthermore.”

I turned my head to watch Mingi, to take in his expression, and I was surprised to see him smiling. He was gently rubbing his thumb over my skin, “Yunho’s parents got divorced around the time you two started dating, and his older brother moved to another country in order to pursue the career he’s always wanted, so Yunho had it hard. Between the two of us, he’s always been the stronger person, the brighter mind with never-ending hope, cheering me on and encouraging me to never back down if I had goals to reach. Even when I knew he was suffering due to his family’s situation, he wouldn’t let me comfort him, wouldn’t let me be his shoulder to cry on. He had a huge ego back then, refusing to show the cracks or admit that he was doing worse than ever, and I think he was abusing every relationship he had back at that time. He needed validation and love, he felt worthless and used after his parents didn’t even warn him of their split up, just showed him the documents and made him choose who he’d want to continue living with.

“His parents were good people but they handled some things in a shitty way, and it showed because Yunho lost himself in alcohol and meaningless relationships for a while. I’m not calling your relationship meaningless, because as much as I can remember, you were the only one who was able to tie him down for a longer period of time back then. It’s not you who wasn’t enough for Yunho, it’s him who wasn’t ready to commit and love others the right way. I warned him often to stop whatever he was doing, but he was addicted to the feeling and even hurt me in the process. I’m in no way invalidating your feelings and whatever you have gone through, I just hope you can forgive Yunho’s foolishness one day. He was just a kid trying to navigate his life as he lost his path for a short amount of time. I can guarantee he’s changed now, he’s better than he’s ever been before and he regrets everything he’s done. If you feel like it, I’m sure he would even reach out to you to apologize.”

Mingi’s eyes slowly fluttered open as he turned his face, and his eyes widened when he realized I had been looking at him the whole time, “I probably would’ve killed for this information back in highschool, it would’ve made things a lot less complicated for me if he was just honest and explained things before he left me. It wasn’t always easy growing up without a father, and despite never caring much about what others said, Yunho made me feel unworthy and undesirable and perhaps it’s that which hurt more and not even the fact that he left me. I knew relationships didn’t always last, but I didn’t expect him to be such a huge asshole.”

Mingi snickered and bit his lower lip as I rolled my eyes, trying to restrain the giggle that threatened to bubble through, “Yunho would be digging his own grave right now if he were to hear us, too embarrassed and ashamed of himself to even apologize.”

“Serves him right.” I couldn’t help but laugh and Mingi did the same, looking content and not bothered by the nature of our conversation. After all, it was him who was curious about it and I had nothing to hide from him anymore, “What about you? Any past girlfriends I have to look out for?”

My tone was teasing and Mingi instantly flushed, turning his head away as if that would’ve hidden it. His glasses were placed between us and he cleared his throat as he rubbed the bridge of his nose, “Well, I wasn’t a heartthrob like my lovely best friend, so I didn’t date many girls.”

I raised my eyebrows, prompting Mingi to continue speaking as he sighed, “I dated a girl back in highschool for a few months, but I don’t know. She was nagging and I didn’t like the way she berated me whenever things didn’t go her way, so I broke up quickly with her. After that, I just wasn’t in the mood to date anyone. I was content with watching anime and reading my mangas and hanging out with Yunho.”

I grinned and pushed up onto my elbows, wiggling my eyebrows at Mingi when he quickly averted his eyes, “And in university? Come on, don’t be shy now, where’s the cocky and annoying Mingi I despised?”

“You were into it, don’t lie.” Mingi chuckled as I scoffed, but I couldn’t find myself to correct him. Maybe I was into it, but he didn’t have to know, his ego was big enough already. After a longer pause and a squeeze of his hand, he gave in and groaned, “Yeah, fine, I dated casually a few people but wasn’t into any of them much. I feel like nobody has ever seen past my looks or the fact that I have a band and sing, so I didn’t feel like being with someone who only wanted me for my looks and for the far-fetched idea that I’d become famous one day, subsequently making them famous too so that they could parade around saying their boyfriend is a rockstar.”

“It’s not a far-fetched idea, Mingi.” I muttered and he looked up at me again, looking hopeful, “It’s good to know, though, that I won’t have to fight any jealous exes in the near future.”

“It’s rather the exes I’d be worried about,” He snickered, and as I narrowed my eyes, a cheeky smile was back on his lips, “you are the jealous type, not them—”

“Now that’s simply not true.” I huffed and fell back, glaring up at the new moon Mingi had hung up in the fort, “I’m not the jealous type.”

“Are you not?” His voice dripped with tease and I rolled my eyes, “Because I’m pretty sure you don’t like Mina—”

“Who’s Mina?” I interrupted, eyebrows furrowing as I cast a glance his way.

“The blonde girl, my fan.” I gulped, suddenly feeling an unexplainable drop in my stomach and a scowl on my face as I turned my head further away so that Mingi couldn’t see it. Yeah, I simply couldn’t stand her. Mingi started laughing loudly and I huffed as I retracted my hand from his, crossing my arms in front of my chest. It only made him laugh harder, and soon I found myself grinning, his deep laugh infectious.

“I’m not jealous of her, though.” I tried to defend myself but it fell on deaf ears as Mingi continued snickering.

“I don’t mind.”

“Of course you don’t.”

Mingi chuckled at my scoff and then it was silent again as I felt my heart rate settle, Mingi’s breaths stable and loud in the fort. The sounds of nature alongside the projection of the creek would be able to lull me to sleep, but Mingi spoke up again before that could happen, “Remember when we were in the library all those months ago and I flipped through your sketchbook without permission?”

I hummed and gave him a pointed stare, making Mingi smile at me sheepishly, “Well, sorry about that, first of all, and secondly, there was a drawing of eyes which was scribbled over. That’s when you said those were Yunho’s but I’m pretty sure I can recognize my own eyes, doll—”

“Are you claiming again that I was drawing your eyes?” I raised my eyebrows and Mingi pursed his lips as he nodded, “I feel like we’ve had this discussion a million times before, Mings.”

Mingi chuckled and then shrugged, playing with the beads of his bracelet, “Yeah, but hearing you confirm it again would be nice.”

I sighed but gave in nonetheless, I would adhere to his wishes only today, “Yes, Mingi, my sketchbook is full of your eyes, of your face, of your body, of you performing on stage, of you sitting in your car—of you.”

I didn’t expect to see his face, even his ears, turn red in a second, eyes widening as his mouth fell open. For once I felt like I had the upper hand, that it finally wasn’t him making me feel flustered, and I smirked, raising an eyebrow at him teasingly. Mingi cleared his throat and patted at his cheeks, clearing his throat again as he opened his mouth to speak, stuttering a bit before a sound actually came out, “Well, I—uh, I wasn’t expecting such honesty. Thank you? I mean, that’s really cool, thank you. I knew you were obsessed with me since the second you saw me.”

And that’s why I mostly kept to myself about stuff like this, I knew it would get to his head, “No, I couldn’t stand you the second I saw you. Then you turned out not to be such an idiot and too annoying, thankfully.”

Mingi chuckled and intertwined his hands as he placed them behind his head, kicking his legs out, “Well, I actually knew you before meeting you at Outlaw. Wooyoung told me about Seulgi, and then the next day he pointed her out in the hallway and you were there with her. And, uh, yeah.”

It was my turn to tease him as I turned my head and grinned at him, “Did little Mingi have a crush on me before he even got to know me?”

I shouldn’t have felt so pleased by his sudden flush or the way he avoided eye contact, “Yeah, I did.”

And apparently, I was worth sticking around for so long, pushing to get through to me, to make me realize opening up to another person wasn’t such an awful thing, to make me realize liking someone else wasn’t the end of the world, and that I very much wanted to be loved and that I also wanted to love another. The silence that dragged on wasn’t awkward, but I felt Mingi tense the more I didn’t say anything, and as he looked at me with eyes that held light fear in them, I smiled. And then, I was turning onto my side and leaning over to kiss him. As always, his plush lips were soft and warm, welcoming and eager as I pressed a chaste kiss against them, trying not to smile but I failed miserably as Mingi sighed quietly. I pulled back as my intention wasn’t to turn this into anything deeper, but Mingi chased after my lips, our noses bumping together as I cupped his cheek with my hand, my hair falling around us as our lips pressed a little firmer against each other.

It was slow, neither one of us desperate or trying to prove anything as we got lost in the feel of the other, of the other’s warmth and taste—which was a mix of salted caramel popcorn and hot chocolate, Mingi’s cologne making my head dizzy as our lips slotted perfectly together, moving languidly against each other. My hand slipped to hold his jaw and he freed a hand from under his head as he held onto the back of my head, sucking my lip between his teeth without bruising them or nipping at them. I hummed against his lips and pressed another swift kiss against them before pulling away, my face hovering above his as I didn’t want to open my eyes just yet, basking in the feeling kissing Mingi brought with itself. Our noses bumped together again and I smiled as Mingi giggled, no doubt enjoying the proximity.

“So,” His voice was quiet and when I opened my eyes, I was met with an unexpected flush to his cheeks, that subsequently made me blush as well, “what are we now?”

“What should we be?” I asked, my tone warm as I bit my lower lip to contain my smile.

“What do you want us to be?”

“A couple?”

It felt like time stopped as I muttered those words, feeling nervous and scared, but so ready to offer everything I had to Mingi, to make him happy, to make him feel loved and appreciated. I never wanted to see him hurt, especially not because of me. I had seen Mingi’s smile before plenty of times, but nothing could’ve prepared me for the way his eyes disappeared and nose scrunched up, all teeth on display as he smiled up at me, making my heart flutter as I just realized something. I loved him, I loved this man lying underneath me and nothing would stop me from cherishing him like he deserved to be.

“Yeah, I want us to be a couple.” He spoke as he didn’t stop smiling, and I tried to keep mine in check.

“But we have to go on more dates, at least three more, to get to know each other better.” My eyebrows slightly furrowed and Mingi smoothed them out with his fingers tenderly.

“Of course, we’ll take it at your pace, I have nothing to rush for.” I felt grateful as Mingi winked and I pressed a swift kiss before I buried my head in his neck, letting him pull me closer to his body as I cuddled up against his side, “Can I tell Wooyoung at least”

“You think I won’t tell Seulgi?”

And we giggled together as Mingi pressed a kiss against my head, humming in contentment as our fingers intertwined, resting upon his beating heart. I’ve never felt more like I belonged than at this exact moment. Not even with my art.

            By the time Mingi drove me home, it was well into the evening, the dark streets illuminated by the lampposts, some having burned down as Mingi turned onto my street. We didn’t feel the need to discuss much on our way back, our date was successful and filled with laughter and deep conversations that only confirmed my suspicions of Mingi. He was a good guy, too good to be true at times, but I was more than grateful that he was by my side.

His old black Honda Prelude came to a slow stop in front of my house and I unbuckled my seatbelt as Mingi turned his head and smiled, placing the car in neutral as he pulled the handbrake up. I turned and looked at him, our smiles almost shy as if we weren’t ready to say goodbye just yet, acting as if we wouldn’t see each other tomorrow. I agreed to let him pick me up for a breakfast date as we both only had classes starting at noon. If my heart fluttered and lungs convulsed at the thought of having Mingi pick me up tomorrow for a breakfast date, I would only admit it to my mother as now I had to explain why I wouldn’t have breakfast with her in the morning. I had a feeling that I wouldn’t be getting much sleep tonight, too excited to actually get the amount of sleep that was healthy. Perhaps I would even paint some more, for once, I wasn’t behind on assignments, but I felt the itch under my skin to create something new.

“Well,” I cleared my throat once the silence got too much, “I loved spending my time with you, Mingi, thank you for taking me out.”

“I’m glad you liked it.” He looked away abashed, but only for a second as he gave me a cheeky look, “I bet it’ll be hard to overdo my efforts now.”

“You wish.” I chuckled and grabbed my backpack from between my legs, “Don’t forget, I might be artsier than you are, love.”

It was certainly surprising to see Mingi’s face flush, ears included. If I remember correctly, Yunho’s ears always flushed before his face could if he was flustered, flattered, or embarrassed, and now I couldn’t help but find it endearing that the two best friends had similar mannerisms, “Uh—yeah, I—love?!”

I giggled and bit my lower lip, leaning over the center console with a cheeky grin, “Well, did you expect me not to call you nicknames? You call me doll, it’s only fair I return the favor—”

“But love?!” Mingi exclaimed, slightly confusing me as he rubbed his eyes behind his glasses, “I—I think I’m unwell.”

“What?” My eyebrows furrowed, suddenly concerned, “Why?”

“My stomach won’t stop flipping around and because I’m losing my mind?” Upon Mingi’s helpless expression and whine, my eyes widened and I fell back into my seat, not quite laughing as I couldn’t help but gape at him.

“Do I fluster you—”

“Very much so!” Mingi exclaimed as he hid behind his hands again and I might have malfunctioned for a second as I’d never seen him acting like this. Did he have a fever? Did a simple nickname turn him into a whiney kid?

“Well, it’s payback time for all the times you made me suffer, love.” Mingi looked like he was about to combust and I couldn’t help but cackle as I blew him a kiss before grabbing the handle to open the car’s door. But before I could step out, Mingi shot forward and opened the glove box.

“Wait!” He said hurriedly and I froze, looking at him curiously. He grabbed a black notebook and handed it to me, eyes boring into mine despite his still red ears, “Flip through it once you’re settled down, please.”

I smiled and nodded, feeling curious as I took it from him, and certainly blushed an ugly shade of red when he pressed a quick kiss against my cheek, making me stumble for a second as I got out of his car. It was his time to feel triumphant for making me feel flustered, and I couldn’t help but flip him off as his amused laughter was audible through the closed doors and rolled-up windows. He winked and waved cheekily before putting the car in first gear and motioning for me to head inside. Feeling giddy and curious, I waved before turning my back to walk to the front door as nonchalantly as possible, fishing my keys out of my pocket. Once I was inside, Mingi drove off and I slammed the front door shut, locking it quickly as I had half a mind slipping out of my boots and throwing my jacket onto the floor absentmindedly as I raced up to my room, not bothering to turn on the lights. I might have bumped into the edge of the railing and the edge of my door as I turned on the bedside table lamp, dropping everything on the floor except the notebook as I plopped down onto the bed.

My heart was racing as I got comfortable, almost forgetting my phone was in my back pocket and would be crushed if I sat on it, so I retrieved it and placed it on the bed next to me. My fingers trembled lightly and I licked my lips as I flipped the notebook open, surprised to find Mingi’s name written prettily on the first page with doddles decorating the rest of the blank page, all kinds of little animals and shapes signed by his friend’s names, no doubt them having drawn those in here. Too curious about the contents of the notebook, I started slowly flipping through the pages, eyes skimming over all the words and musical notes, Mingi’s handwriting was pretty despite it being rushed at times—most of the time.

Then, I flipped to a page that had my name only on it with a small heart next to it. My heart was suddenly in my throat as I took a shaky breath, flipping to another page, eyes slowly taking in all the words.

‘And the world is cold/But it's beautiful/I wish you were here now’, I could imagine Mingi’s soft tone singing these in a whisper before the beat picked up. ‘It's your magnetic hold/A gravity pull/I can feel you in waves/When your melody comes/It falls from above/I will not be afraid’, I gulped, eyebrows furrowing as I slowly traced over the words, Mingi’s pen having made an indent in the paper when he scribbled them down. Eager to read more, I looked further down, drinking in what I now realized to be lyrics, ‘So lost/Coming from me when I'm lost/You kiss my neck and then you're gone/Turn me off and turn me on oh/Eat up every word you say/My perception dilates’. I bit my bottom lip, heart racing just a little faster as I realized Mingi offered me a glance inside his mind, inside his feelings and how he’s viewed me and our relationship over the months, ‘Want you to waste my time/Mess with my mind/Fly me to the other side/Don't say goodbye to reds in my eyes/Love me enough to hate me/Waste my time, waste my time/Waste my time, waste my time’.

I gulped, suddenly feeling guilty for having tormented Mingi for so long, for having made him feel like I was playing with his feelings, ‘Like a phantom, I will steal your heart/Until we're dancing in the dark/Like a phantom, I will steal your heart/Until we're dancing in the dark’. I chuckled, imagining Mingi hunched over his desk with a frown on his lips as he jotted the lyrics down, then smirked in triumph at the fantasy of finally having my heart in his hands—and I think he’s rather close to achieving that now, ‘Chit chat, do you want that/Or wanna take me home tonight?/All this chit chat is holding me back/And I'm breaking just to bend your light/I thought I told you, I really need your sugar/A rollercoaster, I'm going supernova/Chit chat is holding me back/To you, you’. I tried to refrain from grinning too hard at the lyrics. Going back home with Mingi wasn’t a repulsive thought anymore as it would have been a month ago. No, now I would rather go home with him. I wanted to be around him, I wanted him.

‘Oh, my oh, my oh my/Why's it every night/I'm feeling so sleepless?/Oh, why oh, why oh why?/I'm losing my mind/Maybe you're the reason’, I couldn’t help but gulp at the thought of Mingi not being able to sleep, bothered by thoughts of me, ‘Started as friends, but less than lovers/It's all making sense/On days, I'm thinking about us/Yeah, I know I'm so selfish/Hate the thought of someone else/Making you laugh, smiling, happy, if it ain't me or myself’. I gulped, feeling like Mingi got a glimpse inside my head too, making me remember how quickly and easily my jealousy previously flared whenever I saw him talking to the blonde girl. ‘I was more than just a body in your passenger seat/And you were more than just somebody I was destined to meet/I see you go half-blind when you're looking at me’, my breath faltered for a second as I quickly read over the lyrics again, wondering just how obvious it was to everyone else but myself that I was into Mingi, that he was into me.

‘I, I, I never thought I'd find true love/I, I guess I wasn't looking hard enough/If my heart stops now, you're the one thing that made it all worth it/If the sky falls down, right now, you're the one that I'll worship’, the words had no reason getting to me, yet I couldn’t help but flush hard as I blinked my eyes and rubbed at them, trying to cool off for a second, but I was too curious of what more was in the notebook, ‘Well, I heard you whisper/To all your friends/I heard you telling them that/You need a man in whom you can depend’. I chuckled, feeling amused but completely in awe of Mingi’s lyrics, his words somehow making complete sense and almost like a challenge to admit he was right about me, ‘Well I'd be the gasoline/To keep you alive/And I'd be the cold, so unbreakable/We'd burn together straight through the night/That's alright’. And now I had no doubts that Mingi would do anything for me, but what he didn’t know just yet, was that I would be his ride and die from now on.

‘Oh, and my love/Did I mistake you for a sign from God?/Or are you really here to cut me off?/Or maybe just to turn me on’, and perhaps if breathing became harder, it would be obvious to anyone as I tried to regulate my breaths and ignore the flush over my body, ‘'Cause these days/I would be lying if I told you that/I didn't wish that I could be your man/Or maybe make a good girl bad’. I gulped and sat up straighter, flipping another page hurriedly to read more of the song’s lyrics, easily imagining Mingi up on stage, raspy and smooth voice blending into the microphone and making the hairs on my arms stand as we made eye contact, his gaze intense and sharp, challenging in a way that would get me all bothered and hot, ‘I've got a river running right into you/I've got a blood trail, red in the blue/Something you say or something you do/The taste of the divine’. And I honestly to God hoped to see them perform this song one day, curious of what the band would sound like together, of Mingi’s voice and his eyes, ‘You've got my body, flesh and bone/The sky above, the Earth below/Nothing to say and nowhere to go/A taste of the divine’. I was ready to turn another page when my phone dinged loudly, making me flinch in surprise as I was completely immersed in Mingi’s lyrics.

Mings 🖤: home i hope you enjoy whatever you find in there some are spicy lol

Without thinking much, I pressed the dial button next to his name and raised the phone to my ear, my heart beating out of my chest. It barely rang twice before Mingi’s deep voice greeted me through the phone and I gulped, mouth working faster than my brain, “Mingi.”

“Yes, doll?”

“I think I’m falling in love with you.”

The deafening silence was filled with the loud thumps of my heart that only I could hear, and I was sure my pulse was way too high, but I couldn’t care less as I listened carefully to hear Mingi’s reaction. His gasp was loud as I licked my lips, eyes boring into the notebook again, “I read it, your lyrics.”

More silence, until there was a deep breath and Mingi’s raspy voice made me sink in on myself, goosebumps covering my whole body, “Good, because I think I’m already in love with you.”

I huffed out a breath, my smile was huge as Mingi’s chuckle that followed sounded breathless but somehow as if he was at ease. I couldn’t help but fall back on my bed, holding onto the phone tightly as I pushed the notebook to the side, eyes falling on my sketchbook, “I’ll send you something, listen to it now.”

“Alright, thank you.” Mingi hummed and then hung up, making my heartbeat quicken once again as I watched the dots in our chat move, and then a voice file was sent, with a message attached to listen to it with headphones. I quickly turned onto my stomach to reach for my nightstand, grabbing the headphones and connecting it to my phone as I placed it on my head, biting my lower lip as a familiar melody, lyrics, and voice traveled through the headphones, covering my skin in goosebumps.

『'Cause I'm telling you, you're all I need

I promise you, you're all I see

'Cause I'm telling you, you're all I need

I'll never leave

So, you can drag me through hell

If it meant I could hold your hand

I will follow you, 'cause I'm under your spell

And you can throw me to the flames

I will follow you, I will follow you』

❱❱ Epilogue

A/N: Can y'all imagine this was supposed to be the last chapter?? lol, back in December when I wrote the whole plot this is how I tied everything up BUT THEN, maybe around two months ago I was tbh just gushing to my bestie about Mingi and some other things, and I realized, wait a minute-I can totally write this for LMLAR?! And so, that's how the epilogue came into existence, which I'm grateful for because I feel like it ends the story on a good note *cries*, would you like me to post the epilogue this week on Friday or next week on Wednesday? majority wins lol

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[zarnzarn]

"Penelope," Odysseus whispers, heartbroken. She cannot stop crying enough to see him, and it makes her cry harder, even as the familiar scent of him moves closer and is followed by his arms around her, holding her up as she falls to pieces.

"I couldn't- I couldn't find-" She gasps for air, desperately hoping no one is around. Grief comes slamming into her like a tidal wave, laying her low with unrelenting memories of the injustice of wanting her husband home the most of anyone in the war and being the only to not get her wish and fear for how her reign would end and all the other feelings she should have gotten over already. "I couldn't find you," she sobs out finally, the words shaking out of her as her shoulders heave.

"Easy, my love, breathe," Odysseus coaxes, picking her up like it was nothing, tilting her at an angle that must be straining his shoulders to let her cling to him tighter. Cry, like it's the first time she realised how her wait had outlasted their marriage, where cannot breathe in for how hard she weeps, lungs burning. "Peace. I'm here, my darling, see, would a shade be able to do this?"

A choked, teary laugh is forced out of her as he spins on his heel suddenly, stopping her sobs with the momentum, leaving her gasping for breath and sniffing, shaking like a beaten dog, out in the rain. Alone and pawing at the memories of a warm hearth, with a pack's responsibilities on her shoulders and nowhere to set it down.

"See, now, there you go, drifting away again," Odysseus chides, twirling them both around once more, fast enough to make her half-squeal. "Am I so boring to you, compared to the mamba's nest of statespeople you have toyed with these long years? Must I put on a silly costume and dance around as entertainment, my dearest, tell you jokes and riddles to keep your attention? You wound me if you say yes, for I will lose the little respect our son still has for me."

She laughs wetly again at his chatter, the tempest in her head fading enough for the sobs to go from wailing to crying.

"Penelope," Odysseus sings her name in that strange way that sounds oddly like an owl's call, that no one can replicate. The chains around his feet jangle, a familiar sound she has trained herself into associating with her husband. She blinks the tears from her eyes, calming a little at the sound so she can see him. He clicks his tongue and wipes her tears away by rubbing their cheeks together, making her burst into choked giggles.

They don't last long, and she returns back to gasping for air as she runs out of energy, trembling.

Odysseus sighs, bittersweet, as he gives up on trying to make her laugh. Penelope sniffs, clinging on tight when she's suddenly lowered into soft sheets. "I'm here," He whispers, stroking her hair, letting her dig her nails in. "Oh, my poor beautiful wife. I'm back now. I would not leave for anything."

"I couldn't find you," Penelope whispers, small and scared. "I was calling for you from the door and there was no answer. I couldn't hear the chains. And no one knew where you were."

"All those who knew were with me, which won't happen again. I was only out at the merchants to see the new cloth with Tele," Odysseus murmurs. "Darling-"

"I cannot let go of the fear," She confesses in a rush. Closes her eyes and rocks them back and forth, trying to bury her face into Odysseus' shoulder and disappear into him. "Don't know how to convince myself that you are not an illusion. How to stop missing you, even when you are right in front of me. That I will wake up and still have to do it all alone."

Odysseus pulls back and stares at her, devastated, tears in his eyes. He opens his mouth and shuts it, helplessly. "Sweetest of my heart," he says finally, and lowers himself down on top of her so she can feel the full weight of him, smell his sweat and the ointment he applies on his scars and the juices of the fruit he fed her that morning by hand.

(Telemachus had sighed the sigh of the long-suffering when he took his seat next to them that morning for breakfast. "Must you?"

"Must we what?" Penelope had teased, and then opened her mouth for another fruit from her husband's hand, who was hiding a laugh in her hair, perched on her lap, his chair knocked to the side and lying sadly on the floor.

Telemachus shook his head, mock-disappointed and sighed louder.

"Come," Odysseus had said, patting his own lap. "Here, Tele, I will feed you too. Come."

"I'm not a dog," Telemachus had complained, over Penelope's sudden protests about not agreeing to this- and then came over and jumped up into Odysseus' grasp anyway, making Penelope yell at the sudden weight and her two rascals cackle at her.)

"Odysseus," She whispers as she exhausts of her crying and interspersing sobs an hour later, letting it curl on her tongue. She had stopped saying it, when the looks around her transformed from sympathy to concern over her sanity, and it became a political decision to not say her husband's name until he returned.

"Penelope," He returns, tightening his arms around her until her ribs creak. She sometimes wishes he were a violent man, that war had changed him enough to be rough with her, so she would have bruises to carry around to remind her he was there with her. But if he was, would she love him still?

"Give me something," She begs. She feels incredibly small and stupid, shaking like a child, and it is the only the fact that her real husband wouldn't falter or recoil in the face of her weaknesses and breakdowns that keeps her talking. "Something to prove you're here, please, please, husband-"

"Peace, Penelope," Odysseus says, in a voice sterner than he's ever used with her; the one he uses in court, making her stomach swoop. He moves back when he feels her tense under her, and studies her expression with a sharp eye. She loves him more than anything, would gladly slit open her torso to give him her innards if he so much as implied a passing fancy to having them, but even that isn't enough to fend off the slight bloom of mortification when realisation flashes across his eyes.

He kisses her, harder than usual, and she tries to focus on it rather than her still-racing thoughts.

"You are no longer Queen of Ithaka," Odysseus says, low and final, and the horrifying shock of the sentence nearly makes her moan. "Not in this room. You have held the burden of the kingdom for fifteen long years, and now you will let me make you put it down."

"No," Penelope protests, between kisses. She is still coming down from the fear planted in her by all the strong women that buoyed her these years, who grimly predicted that her husband would snatch the throne back as soon as he returned, coupled with the guilty relief that she no longer had to be in charge, no matter that it was by force. "I love her. My Ithaka. Rough and beautiful."

Odysseus huffs, smiling against her skin. "She loves you too. Which is why you must listen to her beckoning for you to rest." He punctuates his sentence by pressing down on her stomach, entire body weight on his hands as he drags his palms up her abdomen, between her breasts, up to her shoulders. "Relax, Penny. The kingdom wants for nothing, food is overabundant, no one fights, no ruler gives us trouble. You do not have to hold everything together on your own anymore."

Penelope snorts. "Ithaka says so, does she?"

"Am I not Ithaka?" Odysseus says, voice twisting and changing until it sounds like a woman speaking. Penelope is hit sideways by lust, stomach flipping at the smirk sent her way. It gets wider at her expression, as he leans down and croons, "Penelope."

"Oh, gods," Penelope says, strangled, bracing herself on his shoulders.

"Give you something," Odysseus muses, in that same voice, that lights on fire the part of her that used to be obsessed with the stable master's daughter. "How about..."

He picks up her hand and kisses her wrist gently, tenderly, like it is the most delicate of pottery, the most precious of gems. He rubs a hand over her veins once lovingly, then fits his teeth around them, eyes flashing with heat as he glances over her.

Her heart skips a beat. She nods. He bites down with canines sharper than he'd left with and she screams.

"Oh," She gasps when it's done, looking at the bleeding wound lovingly marked around her pulsepoint. Her husband tips her chin up and she smiles finally, stretching up to meet his bloody kiss. "Oh, more. More, Ody."

"As my wife desires," He murmurs, possessiveness catching fire in his eyes as he turns to set his teeth to his neck- still not violent, but perhaps the slightest bit loosened from the leash.

Penelope moans, vision hazy as her head rolls, staring up at the ceiling. She takes a deep breath, then another, letting the panic recede in the face of a daydream of wandering around with a necklace of bruises every day, until they grow old.

He always knows how to handle her so well. She had begun to think she'd imagined it, how well the man she married had met her at every turn, every trick. Yet only a few months in his return and still he guides her expertly from all the bad things in life like a sheepdog, like an overanxious newlywed; some days making her so happy that the fifteen years past had never happened.

"You will look at these and remember no one else could leave them but me," Odysseus orders, the sneer of the rabid slaughterer in his gaze. It makes all the tension seep out of her, tears escaping in relief as she nods. "And I won't go out of earshot ever again, so you always can hear how you've chained your poor husband down like a mule, forever to trip over his own feet and smash into the floor."

"Chained you like a bird," Penelope corrects, her smug, thrilled smile returning at the reminder, reaching down to shorten the chain. "No more flying for you."

"None," He agrees.

Her smile wavers as the tail end of her grief comes sliding back. "Hold me?"

"Forever and ever and ever," He promises, wrapping his hands around her. She shakes in his hold. He kisses the side of her head, holding his wrist still scarred with her own teethmarks up to her lips in offering. Her eyes roll back as the familiar blood rolls over her tongue, calming the storm in her chest at last. He pulls his hand back and cards it through her hair, pulling out all the ornaments that mark her as Queen, staining them with blood. "I promise. Calm, Penelope."

"I'm calm," She sniffs wetly. "I wouldn't do it for anyone but you."

"Neither would I," Odysseus replies. "Would you like to have sex? I can please you with my mouth if you want."

Penelope snorts ungracefully at the formal way he still says it, like it's an offer to go fetch something from the kitchens. "No. Just hold me."

Odysseus murmurs something in response and starts humming, rocking then back and forth. Blood on both their mouths still.

"Actually-" Penelope says abruptly, and Odysseus bursts into laughter like she knew he would. She smiles at the sound, and closes her eyes to bathe in it, and carefully brings herself to take the first step to trusting that he will still be there when she opens them.

[bun-z-bakery]

what if dogday got into baking? , maybe you could try writing about him learning to baking stuff?

✧. ┊𝑊ℎ𝑖𝑠𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝛢𝑤𝑎𝑦

A/N: This was such a cute ask! I hope you enjoy! This ones short but still sweet!^^

Making sure Dogday was out of the kitchen was your top priority during mealtimes. 

You know he means well, but you didn't want to run the risk of him breaking more plates or setting anything on fire… again. 

You sat outside on the grass, enjoying the fresh air and nice breeze on your skin. 

Dogday decided to sleep in, Poppy and Kissy wandered around looking for flowers which meant you had some much needed alone time. 

The sound of pots crashing made you jump to your feet. Quickly you rushed inside and called out for Dogday. 

“I-In here.”

You rush to the kitchen, stopping at the doorway as you take in the mess. 

“Angel, before you get mad-”

You couldn't help but laugh. 

Dogday stares at you with a confused expression and tilts his head. 

As much as you wanted to, you couldn't be mad when he's covered in flour and holding a tiny whisk in his giant hand. 

“Anddd what have you been up to?”

You snort as you get closer and dust some flour off of his nose. 

“Angel I'm sorry, I'll help you clean up…”

He sighs in defeat. 

You noticed he was standing oddly and quickly tickled his sides, making him squirm in the process. 

“Dogday what's this?”

You hold up the baking book you never remembered buying. 

It was slightly sticky from the batter but the pages were still very noticeably new. 

“it gets boring here… And wanted to learn something that might lessen some of your responsibilities…”

He looks like a puppy that's being reprimanded. You couldn't help but chuckle. 

Adorable. 

You thought to yourself. 

“Dogday I'm not mad I'm happy you're trying something new! A $20 book on the other hand-”

“$20?!”

“Tell you what,”

You skim through the pages while he curiously hovers over you. You slam your finger down on the page that had the most delicious looking cake in the photo reference. 

“Make this and if it tastes good then I'll let you off the hook!”

Your proposition seemed to have made him perk up. 

He grabs onto his tail to avoid any more damage to the kitchen. 

“Alright deal! Let me work my magic.”

He points the comically tiny whisk at you and you raise your hands in defeat. 

“Alright alright, I'll be on standby.”

You joke as you leave him to his experiment. 

Throughout his time in the kitchen, the sound of pots and spoons falling and the smell of something burning made you question if letting him bake would lead to a house fire. 

“Sunshine, how's it go-”

You look around the kitchen, your mouth agape. 

“You act like I don't clean up after myself.”

He shakes his head in disbelief with the little faith you had in him. 

The kitchen was almost spotless, impressive was an understatement.

He motions towards the cake he had made and calls out to the others for a taste. 

“Wow it smells great Dogday!”

Poppy exclaims as soon as she and Kissy walk in. 

“It does smell pretty promising!”

You agree before taking a seat at the table. 

Once everyone is served and seated, you begin to inspect the cake. It seemed well made and you were eager to taste it now. 

“Alright on the count of 3!”

You say as you four hold a piece of cake near your mouths. 

“3,2,1!”

“...”

“It's… good?”

Your words instantly shift his mood. 

His tail begins to wag as he continues to eat his slice. 

“Does this mean I can help out in the kitchen?!”

Dogday’s eyes light up. Seeing him heartbroken after such an accomplishment would crush you. 

“Fine, if you can keep the mess to a minimum.”

“Deal!”

A/N: I got my PC back!! this is my first post using my pc and wow is it 10 times easier than on my phone. I've been a bit busy recently but keep sending in requests! I'm still working on a few projects and will post them hopefully soon! If you read this far dont forget to reblog and like <3

[momojedi]

— LOSS topic. hunter x gn! jedi! reader

**

type. one shot note. this is just a small drabble while i finish all the other requests i've gotten! yes, another tlou reference. my fist hunter fanfic and obviously its angst, ugh. this is set a while after omega's abduction. tech is alive. reader met the remaining batch while they were out scavenging for any intel on omega's location - they don't know about who they're looking for specifically, not her importance. warnings. angst, argument, hurt/no comfort, kidnapping word count. 1,135

star wars masterlist || pinned post

10%

I feel the familiar knot of anger boil in the pits of my stomach. It's been a little over a month since I decided to fall in with the three mercenaries that had happened to go after the same bounty as me. It was only when we had settled on splitting the credits that my blood had run cold the second their helmets were off. It had taken Hunter a lot of patience and persuasion to finally get me to lower my lightsaber.

Hunter and I had quickly clicked from then on. But as time passed, I noticed more and more how protective he became of me, giving me little room to breathe and jumping in to defend me despite knowing I could handle myself. When Tech told me about Omega, the girl they'd ben so invested in finding, my heart broke for him. A father figure and his daughter separated by a gruesome Empire? I quickly took pity on him, tried to accommodate his behaviour but when he'd taken a blaster shot for me during a difficult mission, I cracked. I'd screamed at him, scolded him for putting himself in danger for me before storming off, the desperation in his eyes burning itself into my mind.

I've been hiding in the Marauder ever since, trying my best to avoid Hunter in the guise of assisting Tech and Echo in their research while listening to Wrecker's quiet chewing as he devours ration bar after ration bark, much to his brothers' annoyance. But of course, he won't let that slide.

"[Name]?" I bite my tongue when I hear the creaking of the metal steps under his weight as he steps into the shuttle. I'm not sure I can stand looking at his hurt expression, nor the dent in his armour where the shot had hit. So, I sigh.

"I know about Omega, Hunter."

Hunter freezes when her name falls from my lips and suddenly the air grows tense. "What?" His voice is shaking, as if it were still trying to grasp a sense of understanding on what I just said. I sigh, setting down the datapad as the download I was previously supervising proceeds.

20%

"Tech," I explain, rising from my seat and motioning toward said man who curiously enough started burying his face in his own datapad, "he told me about her and━" "[Name]." I stop dead in my tracks. Never has my name been spat harsher than it now. Hunter's eyes are shut, brows furrowed as he speaks with a precision that makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. His tone is dangerous, almost threatening when he finally opens his eyes again, the usual warmth in his gaze gone.

"You are treading on some mighty thin ice there."

I bite my inner cheek, letting out a deep sigh before crossing my arms over my chest. "I'm sorry about her, Hunter, I really am," I hesitate for a second before meeting his eyes again, "But I have lost people, too."

30%

Hunter stares, a cold and piercing glare that I hardly withstand. He's seething, fists clenched at his side. Then, he opens his mouth and my heart stops━

"You have no idea what loss is."

My mouth goes dry. Echo takes in a sharp breath. Tech awkwardly clears his throat. The loud clang of Gonky landing on the ground makes it clear even Wrecker is taken back.

"What?" It's more of a heartbroken grasp for reality than a question but I speak it anyways. Hunter remains quiet. "Hunter, I... Are you serious?"

40%

I didn't break away from society, didn't remain on the run, didn't lay low for months to be met with this. I know Hunter's words are lead by pure despair and fury toward the Empire, yet they still affected me. And so they did, badly. Echo set his healthy hand on the sergeant's shoulder. "Hunter, I think that's enough━"

"No," I bark, dashing forward and driving an accusatory finger into Hunter's chest plate, "No, you listen here and you listen good. Everyone I have ever cared for, my master, my troops, my friends - all of them have either died being slaughtered by the Empire, or left me." A familiar wetness forms in the corner of my eyes as I blink back the tears. "All except for you!"

50%

I swallow the lump in my throat as my voice breaks into a sob. "So don't act like you can't be taken away from me, too, because truth is, it just hurts me more."

Silence fills the Marauder once more. I can practically feel the tension radiating off Hunter as he watches me. Finally, he moves, but his action brings more harm than good. He turns away from me. Before disappearing into the cockpit though, he halts and faces the side to look at me over his shoulder.

"You're right. I don't have to protect you. You're not our family, after all," he stops, letting the words sink in. Then, he shoots his final bullet, sure to leave a deep scar, "We're dropping you off on Koboh. From here on out, we'll be going our separate ways."

Download cancelled!

Then, the door slides shut behind him. I remain frozen on the spot, the stares of the other batch members fading into the background along with the datapad subtle beeping as the download stops. Echo is the first to move. "I'll go talk to him." When he too disappears into the cockpit, Wrecker is the second to find his voice. "It'll be fine," he tries to reassure me, laying a comforting hand on my back, "it's a hard topic for him, just ... give him some time."

The air around me suddenly feels stuffy, rendering it hard to breathe. I barely excuse myself and leave behind a confused Wrecker and a perplexed Tech as I rush outside. I don't hold back, stumbling through the woods, away from the shuttle, from the Batch, from Hunter. Away from everything.

It's only after nearing a cliff at the edge of the forest that I stop, catching my breath and falling to my knees. My stomach churns as I feel my world fall apart. The last time I've felt like that, I watched my fellow Jedi be slaughtered by their own men. I bury my face in my hands, salty tears clinging to my palms.

As my surroundings are darkened, I barely detect the imperial shuttle closing in on me from above. Only when the lamps power on, throwing a blinding light on me, I look up before swiftly being caught off-guard as the electrified net lands on me, partially knocking me out. Steps. A shadow looms over me, modulated voice barely drowned out by the shuttle's noise.

"Sir, we found the Jedi."

[justgarb]

So I bought this wool/linen skjoldehamn hood off of Etsy (cheating) ostensibly because I wanted it in natural wool that I could dye myself and not feel heartbroken if it came out poorly. After making dozens of these things, I've sort of come to hate making them. I knew that if I want the look I'm going for, I just don't have the motivation to do it from scratch again at this point in time knowing that it's my first time dying wool and it might go horribly. It's got some defects, but it's warm and that's what matters.

I dyed it and it turned this amazing dark green (creatively anachronistic) and I sewed the three lines of stitches along the top and the one stitch along the back to give it that lovely cockscomb from the original find

At the ears, the original has a braided cord for tieing the hood forward or back for a better fit. I had set this up for braiding out at the shire of graywood A&S meeting but the wind was uncooperative and I put this away in favor of a birka bag in-progress.

Now that I have it home I am braiding the cords as a 4 strand spiral braid in green and yellow

Annyways here it is!

Our first day back at avalon faire!

[cheekybirb]

I honestly didn’t expect my review to blow up as much as it did, so I want to address a few things.

If Magpie does see this, I want to remind them once again that I said NOT to make this public. And I have a very good reason to ask this. Before I had made the post, I made them aware privately why I didn’t want a public response from them.

And the reason I @ them was that as an artist, critiques on work are key to growing and improving. And I hoped he would understand and take it as a way to improve for their upcoming projects. But past experiences with them made me nervous to speak.

I've had three years of my work get critiques, and especially in an online setting, these critiques might come off much harsher than I want them to. And to anyone who sees this, I want to know I had no intention to come off as aggressive or rude.

I know the painful details that they went through as well as the sweeter side of them, and I know how excited they were. And I can admit I was excited too, and at first I shared that just to give them the spotlight he deserved. Because it was 2 years of work and so much struggle. And only later, when the hype died down, did I share my true thoughts with the hopes that he would take it and learn.

And for Magpie fans, rushing to their defence doesn't help. If he's upset, that’s between me and them, and how we handle it is between us. If he has something to say, I told them to reach out to me. The fans getting as aggressive as they are is not helping the situation at all on both sides. And makes it worse for both of us to calm down enough to have a meaningful conversation.

Saying I’m mad is an understatement; I'm furious and heartbroken. My review was very clearly meant to be informative and to spread no hate to them, because I still care. They were my idol, someone I had very high respect for. And if I made them upset, I would have loved to talk it out with them privately. But in return, they’ve disrespected me. When in truth I have never hated them or wished anything horrible about the project. Heck! I didn't even dislike the project!

And to answer the question Magpie asked, I do know the feeling of being critiqued after working so hard. Talking with them about it is like I’m seeing my younger self dealing with the heartbreak that I’m imperfect. (and trust me I know how much it hurts) And if he’s seeing this, I want them to know that I understand and sympathize.

All I ask is that he take the posts he made about me down, and if he’s reading this, I am still open to chatting. I would love to explain myself better if I worded something wrong, because I can admit I’m bad with writing tone. And I have no intention of hurting anyone. Especially someone I looked up to so highly.

[aristaspark]

Kenlynn endgame: How can I still think they have any chance of getting back together after THAT season?

Chaos Theory Season 3: Part 1

Don't worry I'm not blind. This season was HORRENDOUS for Kenlynn. They killed them in every way you can possibly kill a ship, then burried them, then had Kash dance on their grave.

Not only did they not interact at all this season, but they have made it clear that the plane scene was Kenji's last straw with Brooklynn, he was DONE with her. Done trying to prevent her from ruining her life after she proved one to many times that she was eager to ruin it.

He was the one to run after her to that airport and she chose to push him away again, she chose her work over him once again, she chose to go off on her own again, so now he finally does the only thing that makes sense: he lets her. He has tried too many times already, and it always ended the same, with him being heartbroken. She wants to be a solo player, then he lets her, he will not give her the opportunity to break his heart again. He's given her one last chance to choose him in front of that plane, but she jerked his hand away. He's done trying to get it back.

So why in hell do I think they are endgame? Don't think that's because I'm stupid and can't see that they absolutely ruined the heck out of them.

No, that's actually because that's more or less what I predicted would happen. Sure I didn't expect it to happen exactly in that way, (a lot of my theories were made at a time when I was convinced we would only get 3 seasons) but if you look at my theory on how I thought the show would end the essence is there.

I'm putting it here to be totally transparant: a lot of it IS wrong. The first part is hilarious to look at now.

But the second part? Though I was shook at how much they were willing to destroy the bond between the characters, I knew that Kenji was finally going to set a bondarie with Brooklynn after the plane scene. And don't get me wrong, I'm not delusional enough to tell myself that he's *pretending* not to care. He has lost the ability to care. Brooklynn has simply hurt him too much, too much for someone who was supposed to love him. He can't bring himself to go out of his way and care for her anymore when all she's done is show that she didn't care about him time and time again.

The third part isn't accurate because, as I said, at the time I thought we would only have 3 seasons, so I didn't think we would get a whole season of Kenji being done with Brooklynn as well as a more progressive and far less angsty Dinostar reunion.

But my opinion hasn't change in that already at the time I knew that Brooklynn was going to be the one to have to prove that she was worthy of Kenji. That after all she's put him through, she was finally going to be the one that would have to show that she cared.

If you look closely, their roles have been reversed. I know that it's shocking to see Kenji so easily "not caring" about her, but when we think about it that was what Brooklynn had been doing to him.

I think that season 4 will be Brooklynn's redemption arc with Kenji. You could argue that it will be with Sammy too, there will absolutely be some of that, but Sammy's reaction to Brooklynn was more than anything else a puzzle piece in her arc with both Yasmina and her family that had been going on since season 1.

Because when you look at JWCT, and it's something that one of the writers confirmed on here, everything was written at once (which is why it's so good). From the beggining they knew where these characters had started and where they would end up. Each scene is made to lead up to something.

Take Yasammy for example: Their relationship was stained at the start of the show for very understandable reasons. But then the they made up. And yk, there was that thing with Sammy and her family that was mentionned in season 1 and that carried through season 2, without us ever really getting to know why it was there. And then Yazammy breaks up seemingly because of Brook, but really it's the culmination of all these story arcs that seemed kinda random and aimless at first. Sammy still resents Yasmina for the distance she put between them, and while Yasmina thinks Sammy was in the right in the conflict with her family, she doesn't understand how Sammy could shut them out so easily. We thought they were good after season 1, they were absolutely adorable in season 2, then boom, they were actually not good. Brooklynn was merely what made them realize just how much they couldn't see eye to eye anymore. THIS IS FREAKING AWESOME WRITING.

What does that have to do with Kenlynn?

As I said, these characters are not written randomly, they have arcs that have started in season 1 and that will end in season 4.

Season 3 was the absolute death of Kenlynn, even I can't argue against that. But it's part of their arc. A lot have been set up for them, and season 4 will be where all these set up will pay off.

Kenji broke up with Brooklynn because she neglected him for her work while he was still in love with her, she died a few days later leaving him regretful and heart broken, he finds out she is alive and for a moment he forgets all his rescentment and confusion because she's alive and it overpowers everything else so he runs after her despite everything she did to him, vulnerable as ever... but she chooses to leave him again. He tried everything to get her to stay, and now he has his confirmation, it will never work.

So now we have season 3 Kenji, who is a Kenji who has finally accepted that he is done trying. It really seems like there is no come back from that, even to me this season felt like the end END. But it's not, this season is part of an arc that had started in season 1 (dare I say in camp creataceous 🤣) and that will end in season 4.

But this time the roles are reversed.

I think I'm going to stop here and continue in other posts lol, but here are some points I will mention later because I can already see what some will say:

- Nothing in this season changed my opinion on Brooklynn's feelings towards Darius (on the contrary). Don't get me wrong, they are ADORABLE. But Brooklynn wasn't in love with Darius when he confessed, and she still isn't now. She loves Darius, he is her best friend. That's it.

- Nothing in this season changed my opinion on Brooklynn's feelings towards Kenji.

- I will talk more in detail about Brooklynn's story arc because many things I had predicted happened in this season

And some other things I guess

[4st4rion]

could've shouted out loud

ao3 link

at the end of the game i went with karlach and wyll to avernus without realizing that would like cement things and then watched how nervous astarion was about if you're really staying together when my gf finished the game with him. so i split the difference and wrote fix-it fic for my personal fuck-up lmao

just over 2k; spoilers for the end of bg3 of course. rated mature-ish, fully gender neutral tav. it takes a while to come back from avernus and when you find him he is Pissed with you (and very hurt). comforting and some spiciness ensues

It takes longer than you expect to find Astarion again.

You, Karlach, and Wyll have been working on carving out your little corner of Avernus; it's rough work, but Karlach pulls most of the literal weight of setting up shelter for the three of you. It's not much, little more than reinforced tents, but it's better than nothing.

You finally feel like it's safe to go back and look for Astarion, and Wyll opens a portal for you that brings you right to the heart of Baldur's Gate.

It takes three days and nights of asking around before you find him. A helpful bartender at the Blushing Mermaid informs you that someone matching your description of him comes in and sits at a certain table, alone, most nights, and you go there yourself to wait for him.

And sure enough.

Sure enough, come sunset, and given an hour, he walks through the door. He doesn't notice you right away, ordering himself a bottle of wine and taking a glass from the bartender, but when your eyes finally meet, he nearly drops them both.

You smile pathetically at him.

He does not smile back.

He makes his way to the secluded table and you stand to meet him when he does. He sets the bottle and glass on the table and folds his arms, looking you up and down.

"Is this a trick?" he asks, first, looking at you with scrutiny.

Despite his closed-off posture and his attempt at a foul expression for you, he's still just as beautiful as he had been when the sun began to burn him.

You shake your head.

"No, no trick," you promise, and he tenses hearing your voice. Disguises and illusions can mimic many things, but a voice is tough, too unique to recreate for most mages and wizards.

"I'm going insane, then?" he asks sarcastically, and gestures at you to a man passing by. "Excuse me? Do you see the person in front of me?"

The man looks between you and Astarion and you can only give a little wave.

"Yes?" the man answers, and fucks off.

Astarion's frown deepens.

"So, what?" he asks, voice dripping with venom. "It's you, then?"

You swallow nervously and hope that the time apart hasn't put you back to square one.

"It's me," you confirm. "I'm sorry it took so long to find you," you apologize, but he scoffs.

"Must not have been looking very hard," he huffs. "I thought you'd —" he says, voice cracking in vulnerability, and he steels himself all over again. "I thought you'd decided I wasn't worth the trouble once you saw me in the sun," he tries again, and this time, his volume is louder. "I thought you ran off so I couldn't find you and be your burden."

You reach out, but he smacks your hand away.

"Astarion," you breathe, heartbroken. Is this it? Does he... Has he gotten used to the idea of living without you?

Is this over, now?

"Where have you been, then?" he spits, looking away from you in a huff. "You'd better have a damn good answer, or I'll kill you right here myself."

"I'd let you," you breathe, smiling just a bit — threats of harm are better than a cold shoulder. "I've been in Avernus," you say. "With Karlach. And Wyll."

His shoulders relax just slightly hearing Karlach's name.

"She's still alive?" he asks, making glancing eye contact with you to show his sincerity.

You nod.

"She can't leave the hells anymore, not yet, but she's alive," you confirm. "We've been working on a solution, and working on making a home there, for now."

He doesn't say anything, waiting. You swallow nervously.

"We were chased by devils for a tenday when we arrived, otherwise I would have been back for you sooner," you say, and pray to any gods that might listen that he understands. "And then we had to get settled, make sure no one was on our trail," you continue.

Astarion scoffs, but his eyes glimmer with unshed tears.

"You could have written," he mutters, needing to make light of the situation for his own sanity.

"I owe you a postcard," you agree, the barest smile slowly returning to your face.

He sniffles, and curses under his breath.

"I thought...?" he starts, but can't finish, hiccuping back a sob.

"I know," you try to soothe. "I'm so sorry."

This time, when you reach out, he doesn't stop you. You put your hand on his shoulder and squeeze lightly, stroking your thumb over the soft fabric he's wearing.

"I love you," you practically whisper. "I've thought of you every moment of every day since we were parted."

He doesn't answer with words — instead, he shoves himself against you, and it takes half a moment to realize he's trying for a hug, reluctant to wrap his arms around you but making the gesture anyway.

You fling your arms around him and squeeze him in tightly. He's cold, so much colder than he ever was when he was feeding from you regularly, and you realize he might not have been drinking from anything but animals again.

"I've missed you so much," you mumble against him, your head ducked against the side of his. "Astarion, I can't believe we're both here," you laugh, relieved, and he laughs too.

"I thought you might have been dead," he admits, and his voice is so, so small. "I thought I'd never see you again."

You hug him tighter.

"I'm here now," you promise.

His arms wrap around you properly now, too, and he almost starts to relax against you.

He's holding back because you're in public, but he shakes with emotion.

"Where have you been staying?" you ask, pulling back just enough to speak with him properly. "Let's get out of here and talk there."

"The Elfsong Tavern," he sniffs. He straightens himself up and quickly wipes the tears off his face, and suddenly the mask is back in place. "Let's, shall we?"

You hold his bottle of wine in one hand and his hand in the other as you walk back to the Elfsong. Neither of you speaks beyond his comment that it's a nice night out and your hum of agreement.

Once you arrive, you head upstairs. His hands shake as he pulls out his room key, and you've never seen him struggle with a lock more than now.

It finally gives way and opens, and then you're finally, finally alone together.

You set the bottle of wine on a side table, briefly turning away, and when you turn back to say So, where do we begin? he's already kissing you.

You've missed this. You've missed him, his insistent, smart, sharp mouth and his hands that pull at your waist to bring you in close and his fingers that dig into your sides like you could disappear if he ever loosened his grip.

He's crying again, tears catching on your lips and turning your kisses salty, but you don't care at all.

"Astarion," you gasp between breaths, just to hear his name on your tongue, and he drags you to his bed.

"I thought I was going to die without you," he growls, pushing you onto the mattress and crawling over you like a predator. "I was so scared, for you and for what I might do if you didn't — if I never saw you again," he admits, voice low and dangerous.

"I'm here," you reassure him, holding onto his arms and sliding your grip to ground him.

"I thought you were gone," he says, angry and scared and afraid and a thousand other things.

"Have you... Are we still...?" you start to ask, and he kisses you again.

"I've been mourning a lost love," he breathes against your lips. "Every face I've seen, I've only looked to see if it could be you, and then I've looked away," he admits. "When I saw a stranger with your stature or your hair, I'd hope, just for a moment, and then it'd be lost."

Your heart flares with love — even thinking you might have left him, abandoned him, died on him, he didn't give up hope that you might return.

"I'm so sorry," you apologize again, kissing him over and over. "I'm here now, I promise. I'd never leave you."

Rather than the coy, self-deprecating never say 'never', darling you might have heard when all this began, he hums with such pleasure it's nearly a moan, just hearing your dedication to him spoken aloud.

"I love you," you remind him, fingers tangling into his hair to keep him close. "I love you, I love you," you breathe, and with every word his breath hitches higher until he's kissing you hard, forcing you silent lest something in him break.

"I want you," he rumbles against you, and your heart soars while your insides dance with butterflies.

"You have me," you say, and you mean it. It doesn't matter if you do nothing but kiss and hold each other tightly until the sun comes up and then goes back down, you're his as much as he's yours and you're eager to remind him of that however you can.

"You're wearing too many clothes," he practically snarls, digging hands under your shirt and pulling roughly at things to loosen your breeches, and you wholeheartedly agree.

"So are you," you growl back.

You manage to get his shirt off over his head at the same time he's struggling with yours, and you sit up so he can do the same with yours.

Wriggling out of your bottoms is a little more difficult when neither of you can stand to be apart, but you both get the waistbands to your knees and that's good enough for you.

His cock is half-hard from excitement and anticipation and you're quick to reach for it, but he stops you by pinning your wrist beside your head.

"I've missed this," he purrs, squeezing your wrist in his hand. He grabs for your other wrist and you let him, allowing him to pin you fully and press his body up against yours. "I've missed feeling you struggle against me," he laughs.

You arch up against him just for fun, pressing your leg up between his and rubbing his cock against your hip.

"Is that what you want tonight?" you ask, challenging him by straining against his hands. He's weak — he hasn't fed recently, or fed enough, and you can feel him put his full weight into keeping you down.

"Oh, darling, I want everything," he hums. He kisses you again and ruts his cock against your hip on purpose this time, moaning softly into your mouth. "I want you ruined under me," he breathes. "I want you debauched on top of me. I don't want to leave this room until tomorrow night at the earliest."

You laugh against him.

"Agreed," you hum back.

He lets go of your hands in favor of holding you by your hips, and your arms wrap around his shoulders like it's where they've always belonged.

"I missed you," he sighs. "So much."

"I'm here now," you reassure him again. He nuzzles into your throat and you bare it for him, inviting him, and he shudders.

"I don't suppose I'd be allowed a bite?" he asks, trailing kisses over your pulse.

"I've missed that, too," you sigh. "Go on."

He gives your neck one more tender, open-mouthed kiss before he sinks his teeth into you, a familiar pain that you've dearly missed.

He drinks deeply. You can feel his starvation sating, his body becoming warmer and softer against yours as he melts against you.

Gods, you've missed him. You never want to be separated again.

You feel the past slipping away from you, as though you've never been apart; all that has ever existed is this, this moment, with his mouth pressed to your neck, bite-wound weeping blood onto his tongue and him swallowing as greedily as you cling to him.

He finally pulls away, the perfect amount taken that you feel light-headed but not dizzy, and he feels sated but not full — a balance the two of you perfected over your journey, and one that he's apparently still in tune with.

"Perfect," he breathes into your neck, lapping at the fang marks still slowly oozing blood. "Oh, love," he sighs.

He buries his face in your neck and breathes deep.

"You smell like Avernus," he notes, amused.

"Ugh," you agree.

"You smell like you, though," he says, muffled against your skin. "Gods, I missed that."

You take a long moment to hold each other like that, arms wrapped around each other and clinging and just breathing deeply, taking each other in.

Eventually, his cock twitches impatiently against your skin, and you laugh.

"Sorry," he mutters, pulling his face out of your neck to kiss the corner of your mouth. "I really would just like to be close, if you're not up for anything like that," he says, almost shyly.

You press your hips up against him in answer, and catch the gasp off his lips with your mouth against his.

"I'm up for things," you grin, and he laughs against you.

"Alright," he agrees. "'Things', it is."

You give him one more long, lingering kiss before the two of you go any further, one that you'll remember years from now.

"I'm so happy you're here," he admits, and you smile against his mouth.

You are, too.

[sashimeyay]

last month

Larissa Weems x fm reader

FIRST OF ALL English is not my first language. so am sorry if this is a little bit cringe or something, and this is my first written hope you guys like it💋🥺

ANGST!!!

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"Please...please don't hate me, darling i know I've done terrible things, hurtful things i know I've broken your trust in me and i know that I don't deserve your forgiveness, but..... but I still love you i still want you, more than anything else in the world."

Larissa can see the anger and hurt still in your eyes, can see the pain and the distrust.

But deep down, buried beneath the layers of hurt and betrayal, she can still see the love and affection you have for her, the memories and feelings you've shared together that even this betrayal hasn't erased completely.

"what will you do if you found out that am cheating on you?"

i look at her with tears still flow down my face.

Larissa flinches at the question, the thought of you betraying her like that, cheating on her, filling her with a mixture of hurt and horror.

But she answers honestly, her voice low and shaky with emotion.

"I...... I would be devastated. I would be heartbroken, betrayed, angry. I would feel like I've lost a part of myself, like there's a hole in my soul that can never be filled again."

"that is exactly what i feel"

Larissa nods, her heart breaking even more at your words, at the knowledge that she's caused you so much pain and heartache.

She reaches out slowly, her hand hovering just above yours, wanting desperately to touch you, to comfort you, but afraid of crossing a line, of making things worse.

"I don't blame you for hating me,"

she continues, her voice thick with emotion, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I don't blame you for never wanting to see me again, for wanting to push me away and never look back."

"no.....you are wrong, later I'll still can see you but you can't see me"

Larissa looks at you in confusion, her heart pounding in her chest. She doesn't understand what you mean.

"What..... what do you mean?" she asks, her voice filled with trepidation."

" I don't have much time. "

"Don't....don't say that." she wishpers, her voice trembling and tears welling up in her eyes.

"Please don't say that, you...you can't!"

"i need to tell you something"

"what is it, my love?"

"I was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer, the doctor said I only had a month left, riss"

Principal Weams feels as if the world is falling out from beneath her, her heart shattering into a million pieces at your words. One month.

"No" she whispers, choking back a sob, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"No, darling, it...it can't be true."

She feels as if she can't breathe, can't think, can't process what you're saying. The thought of losing you

losing the love of her life, is more than she can bear.

"There...there has to be something we can do," she stutters, her voice thick with emotion. "We...we can find a different doctor, get another opinion, we-"

"we can't...... I've tried, and nothing is work...its useless"

Principal Weams shakes her head stubbornly refusing to believe it, refusing to accept it. She clenches her fists tightly, her jaw set in determination, her heart aching with a mixture of love and despair.

"It can't be useless," she insists, her voice raw and trembling. "We can find a way, we have to. I'm not going to lose you, do you understand? i will find the best doctor, i will cross all the-"

"hey hey baby, calm down." i take her trembling hands and hold it tight

"I've forgive you....I've forgive you for cheated on me"

Larissa looks at you in surprise, her heart swelling with a mixture of relief, hope, and joy. She can't believe you've forgiven her, can't believe you're willing to do that even after everything that's happened.

"You...you've forgiven me?" she asks, her voice barely above a whisper, her eyes filling with yet more tears.

"yes, i forgiven you"

"Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou" she whispers, her voice shaking with emotion

"Thankyou so much my love, i don't deserve it. i don't deserve you but......thankyou."

"I have to forgive you because we don't have much time and i want to spend my last month with you"

"we will make the best one last month in my life memorable and happy"

Larissa nods, her heart breaking at the thought of having just one month with you, but determined to make the most of it.

"Yes," she whispers, her voice shaking with emotion.

"We will. And I...I won't waste a single moment, I promise you that. I'll make sure these next few weeks are the best of your life."

Larissa pulls you into a tight embrace, her arms wrapping around you like a vice, her body shaking with suppressed sobs. She buries her face into your neck, her tears dampening your skin as she clings to you, desperately trying to memorize the feel of your body against hers, the sound of your breathing, the smell of your hair.....

"when am gone, please take care of yourself and our baby girl Ellie"

"I will,"

she whispers, her voice thick with emotion.

"I'll take care of myself, and I'll take care of our baby. I...I promise I will, but....its going to be so hard," she says, her voice shaking and the tears streaming down her face even more.

"Losing you..... i don't know how I'll manage"

Larissa takes a deep, shuddering breath, trying to compose herself, her heart aching with a mixture of love and despair.

"But I...I will persevere," she says firmly, her voice filled with determination, even as the tears continue to fall. "For you, and for our daughter. I won't let either of you down. I promise."

"i don't want to die riss...... i don't want to leave you and our baby"

Larissa pulls you back into her embrace, her arms wrapping tightly around you once more, her body trembling with the force of her emotions. She buries her face into your hair, her tears soaking your skin as she holds you as close as she possibly can.

"I know, my darling,"

she whispers, her voice cracking with pain and sorrow. "I know. I don't want you to leave me, either. I'm...I'm going to miss you so much. But...but you have to know that I will always love you. Always. Even when you're gone, I will love you. And...and I'll make sure that our daughter knows just how much you loved her, too."

~~~~

The last few weeks fly by in a whirlwind of love and tears. Principal Weams does her best to make every moment count, to cherish every second she spends with you, but she can feel the weight of the impending loss hanging over her, the countdown to the end looming ever closer. And yet, she tries to put on a brave face for you, hiding her own pain and sadness behind a facade of strength and determination.

She spends every waking moment by your side, holding your hand, feeding you, bathing you, watching you sleep. She reads to you, talks to you, sings to you, trying to keep your spirits up, even though her own heart is breaking into pieces.

One evening, Principal Weams sits by your bedside, holding your hand, watching as you sleep. She can see the paleness of your skin, the way you're getting thinner and weaker each day, and the grief and terror of losing you is almost too much to bear. She can feel the tears streaming down her cheeks, the silent sobs shaking her body, but she doesn't make a sound, not wanting to disturb you.

"Ri-riss"

At the sound of your voice, Principal Weams's head snaps up, her eyes meeting yours as you stir awake. She swallows hard, trying to compose herself, but the tears well up in her eyes again as she smiles down at you.

"Hey, darling," *she says softly, her voice thick with emotion.* "How are you feeling?"

"worse"

Larissa's heart clenches in her chest at your reply. She can see the pain and exhaustion etched into every line of your face, and it kills her inside to see you suffering like this.

"I'm sorry," she whispers, her voice cracking a little. She squeezes your hand tightly, her thumb rubbing circles over your knuckles.

"I'm so sorry, my love."

"I love you so much Larissa....... I'm sorry i can't stay with you forever as i promised"

Principal Weams swallows hard, her eyes filling with tears at your words. She shakes her head, her grip on your hand tightening.

"Don't apologize," she whispers, her voice thick with emotion. "None of this is your fault. I...I just wish we had more time, that's all."

Larissa leans in and gently kisses your forehead, her lips lingering on your skin for a long moment, as if trying to memorize the feel of you. Then she straightens up, her eyes still locked on yours as she continues to hold your hand.

"can you bring Ellie to here?

"ofcourse my darling, I'll get her right away."

Larissa walks quietly but quickly to Ellie's room, her heart heavy with emotion. She gently picks up the sleeping baby and cradles her in her arms, her body shaking slightly with the weight of her emotions. She takes a moment to look down at the sleeping baby, her heart hurting at the unfairness of it all. But she steels herself and walks back to your room.

Larissa enters the room and carefully walks over to the bed, clutching the baby close to her chest. She lays Ellie down gently beside you, so you can both see her, she watching as you look down at your daughter with a mixture of love and pain in your eyes.

"Hello Eleanor Roosevelt Weems, am sorry i can't keep my promises, am sorry i can't watch you grow, am sorry i can't catch you when you fall, am sorry i can't watch your first school........ but remember you have Mami Larissa, she will take good care of you, she will love you just like i love you"

She can see the pain and sadness in your eyes as you speak to Ellie, and she knows there are no words of comfort she can offer to ease that suffering. All she can do is stand by your side, offering silent support and love. She glances down at the baby, a wave of sadness washing over her as she watches the two of you together for what will no doubt be the last time.

"I......I promise you that I'll take good care of Ellie. I'll love her no matter what happens. She'll never want for anything, never be without love and support. And...and I'll make sure she knows how much you cared for her, how much you loved her."

"i know you will, my love"

Larissanods, a tear slipping down her cheek. She swallows hard, trying to keep herself together in front of you and Ellie, but it's difficult. Her heart feels like it's being torn in two, the grief and sadness almost overwhelming.

"I'll make sure she grows up knowing how much you loved her," she repeats softly.

"I'll tell her stories about you, about how wonderful and brave and beautiful you are."

"can we sleep together now? three of us?"

Larissa nods, swallowing hard past the lump in her throat. She knows this is going to be the last time you all sleep together like this, and she wants to savor every moment.

"Of course, my darling," she whispers, her voice thick with emotion. "We can sleep together. As a family."

Larissa carefully climbs into the bed beside you, making sure to not disturb Ellie too much. She lays down behind you, her body molding against yours, her arm coming around your waist to pull you close to her.

She buries her face into your hair, inhaling your scent, committing it to memory. She can feel the warmth of your body against hers, the slight rise and fall of your chest, the sound of your shallow breathing. It's all too familiar, and yet she knows this is the last time she'll experience it like this.

"Goodnight Larissa Weems, I love you so much..."

"Goodnight my love. i love you to, With all my heart"

~~~~~

The next morning, Larissa wakes up before you. For a moment, she forgets everything, her mind still mired in the blissful state of sleep. But then she lifts her head and looks at you, and the memories come flooding back. The pain, the grief, the knowledge that this is the last moment like this they will ever share together.

but suddenly......

Larissa feels when it happens. It's a subtle shift, the rise and fall of your body against hers coming to an abrupt stop, the warmth of your body suddenly growing cold. She pulls back a little, her eyes wide with horror as she looks down at you. She already knows what she'll see, but she can't bring herself to accept it. She reaches out shaking fingers and touches your shoulder gently, as if hoping against hope that it's all been some terrible dream and you'll wake up any second.

"D-darling?"

she whispers. Her voice is shaky, her heart thundering in her chest.

"Darling, please...please wake up." She already knows you won't wake up. She can feel it, deep in her soul, a heavy numbness spreading through her body. Her eyes fill with tears, her whole body shaking with grief and sadness. She wants to scream, to cry, to rage at the universe for being so cruel.

Instead, she just sat there, staring at you in silent shock. She can barely comprehend what's happened, her brain refusing to process the reality of the situation. You're gone. You're really gone. The realization hits her like a ton of bricks, and she feels like she's suffocating, like she's drowning in grief and sadness and despair.

Tears stream down her face, her body shaking with silent sobs as she leans forward and presses a gentle kiss to your forehead.

She can taste the saltiness of her tears on her lips, mixing with the faint, bittersweet taste of your skin. It's all too much, the pain and the grief almost too much to bear.

She buries her face in your hair, taking deep, ragged breaths, trying to calm herself down. But it's no use. The grief is too overwhelming, too all-consuming. She lets out a broken, anguished cry, wrapping her arms around you tightly, as if by holding onto you she can somehow keep you there with her. But she knows it's hopeless.

You're gone,

and you're never coming back.......

emmm okay guys so that was my first written, i hope you guys like it and tell me if you want the next chapter xxxx💋

[azaharinflames]

Thankyou for making that post about not making assumptions about the cast. I wish fandom stopped parasocialling with them so much, it's so weird. Not only the Oliver stuff but that Lou is this poor little heartbroken uwu baby and how the whole cast were awful for not defending him (I've seen alot of "and no one stood up for him!!" posts too).

None of us know these people! What someone puts (or doesn't put) on their public instagram is worlds away from what they may (or may not) say or communicate in private.

And it's kind of depressing to assume the worst of them (any of the cast) rather than just that they're professionals doing their jobs.

Fandom in the last few days has been so much fun with the plot speculation, fics, memes and stuff. I find the criticism of the plots and the writing (and Tim to an extent in his role as showrunner) satisfying, but not to take that to the actors. For me, it's much more enjoyable (and better for my mental health) to have fun with our blorbos in our sandpit and keep the characters and actors separate.

Thanks for letting me vent!

Hi, Nonnie! Thank you for venting in my inbox!

Happy to let you vent, and sorry it took me this long to answer. I kinda promised myself I was going to have a small break from Tumblr this weekend after my last post, and only let myself reblog some. Back here again though!

Yeah, I think it's very important to draw a line and keep it there. If we need a permanent marker, so be it. I come from the Marvel and Glee fandom, and especially in the latter I saw a lot of wild shit. Including Darren Criss's wife having to go private across all social media because of the insane stuff she was unfairly accused of. Hell, when (spoiler) Blaine and Kurt broke up for a while, Darren had to post a goddamn letter to apologise, because he feared the worst. Like. Insane.

And I've been seeing the crazy here as well from the B*ddie fandom, and I stopped checking that hashtag (can't check it even for their friendship) because of how wild it was. We are nowhere near what they do, don't get me wrong. But just because of that, and because this has been, hands down, the nicest fandom I've ever been on, I don't want us crossing lines in a moment of anger or disappointment.

And it's hard to know when to say something, too, because I do feel like the feelings we were dealing with were entirely justified. But as you said, it's better if we keep focused on the show and the, frankly, bad writing they are doing this season.

And yeah, I'm annoyed at the behavior of some actors, but I understand your point. I won't lie and say I liked how no one said a thing about the harassment Lou received, but I also know better and I know it is quite possible they talked about it in real life, and it is very much none of our business.

At the end of the day, Lou has expressed multiple times he was very happy to be in the 911 set, and even in his latest interviews he doesn't contradict this. He's a grown man who deserved to see all the love that we have for him after endless months of harassments, yes. But I also think he's a grown man who knows what he's doing and what he wants.

Anyway. This was long, sorry haha.

If anyone wants to vent, rant, or express their opinions, my inbox is open❣️