#And I’m proud of myslef

[mishori-o]

Nom nom nom

Song has nothing to do with drawing but it fits the vibe and I like it :]

[h0useofw0lves]

i did laundry today. i had 2 proper meals (even if they were just microwaved leftovers). i washed the dishes from those meals. little victories 👍

[miraeism]

no one is following me on my little becoming a runner journey BUT just ran a WHOLE mile at speed 5 on the treadmill

[inlovedavid-tennant]

I MADE A STRANGER THINGS FANDOM QUIZ IM PROUD OF MYSLEF

(P.s I’m in the hospital cuz I fell down the stairs and I was on the bottom step)

[lillyspeakz]

you know me literature grind :(( but! i have strawberry smoothie and qsmp streams in the background :)

i also think i ofically parted ways with my ex and i did it so gracefully - as she was throwing insults i told her about indie game she'd like - literally killed her witg kindness!!

just taking care of myslef and really hopping into self-loving habits ^u^

-sofi

As you should love!!!

I’m proud of you for that darling, it’s a good start to something greater!

[allforbritni]

There is no amount of thinking, or searching, of posting, or reaching out to people, there is no amount of anything that can make up for the fact that all I want to do is talk to you about yesterday. You are so proud. I am so proud. I feel honored that you have spent so much time helping me lately. And I know now it’s time to really help myself. Dancing made me realize the parts of my body that really haven’t gotten my attention in so long .. everything was in my muscle memory & of course it was physically exhausting but I was so mentally stimulated that it didn’t matter.

My mind was in my body & in the room … I saw MYSELF in the mirror. I had this story in my head that I was so out of shape & SO anxious, that I would get in there & burn myself out within the first half hour. When the hour slot we had scheduled was up, I was wishing we had more time. I remember that feeling now, I understand what got you out of bed every day. I felt it yesterday. I am just so surprised that I really allowed myself to believe that story, a figment of my imagination, essentially a lie, instead of facing it & seeing if it was true. I might have found peace if I had faced my fear of going to class at millennium. I might have been able to make a friend, or find an instructor who might’ve been able to influence me to take my life in a completely different direction.

I believed the story, the one that said “you are not good enough of a dancer to be in class at that studio. The professional girls I danced with growing up, the ones who danced in Old Navy & Verizon commercials, the ones who guest starred for an entire season of your favorite show, the ones who made it to Vegas on SYTYCD & the one who WON: that’s where they take class.…. the ones put the MF WORK IN … How dare you walk into that room unprepared to be there.” What I was really telling myself is “you’re not good enough, you’re not worthy, they are better than you, you are weak & you don’t deserve to be there”.

Britni, I wish I could have had the strength to tell you how much I was hurting & how I was actually coping with it. I knew you’d tell me to knock that shit off, and if I didn’t: you would’ve come out here & fucking made me. I didn’t go see you in Vegas because (from what I can actually recall, from the painful alcohol induced memory of that trip, that I tried so hard to block out for a while) I was in a alcohol & Adderall downslide. I didn’t have enough Adderall to make the drive, be in Vegas, & make the drive home. I was too hungover the morning I told you I couldn’t make it happen … I was living alcohol sick when I wasn’t drunk … but I blamed it on wanting to spend time with Arman or being exhausted or PROBABLY WORKING FOR TONY … trauma trauma trauma I just kept BRINGING ON MYSLEF. If I had told you EVERYTHING, or if I had come to see you in person when you were 5 hrs away, or if I had just allowed myself to accept that you loved me even tho I couldn’t love myself then… maybe everything would have been different.

I can’t live in that place anymore Britni. I have to let it go now. I know it “felt good” to keep torturing myself over these things for all of this time … it felt like I deserved to be punished for making the wrong choices when I knew what the right ones were, but chose the one that felt good or was the easy way out.

I have put all of this work in, if you were to be able to give me advice right now, it would be something along the lines of “you are doing all of the right things, keep trusting your gut & being honest with yourself & your support system. All you have to do, is put one foot in front of the other & do the things that bring you joy & peace”

So I am going to take it. I’m still going to cry a lot, I’m still going to scroll thru old photos a bunch, watch videos of you, look at our old messages, post a bunch, but I’m going to be uplifting & positive & OWN MY SPACE today. I’m gunna live today. For today. I’m gunna live for you today too. #AllForBritni

[albaqae]

Yk what no fuck it this year like idk HWEN but I’ma get absolutely hammered like drunk off my ass vomittingnin the floor and I’m gonna play outside a lot and sleep in hammocks and run and jump and use a big stick to hit people and then I’m gonna kiss my friend like a proper smooch in the MOUTH and I’m gonna look at the stars a lot and maybe I will make out with said friend or better yet that friend will make out with ME if yk what I’m saying and I’ll run a lot and laugh a lot and I’ll learn how to move my butt or whatever and I’ll dress pretty and buy new pants thrifted preferably bc softer and worn and good for the environment LETS GO REDUCE!!!! and SOME college will accept me and I’ll get financial aid and I’ll try to become super friends w my roommate and I’ll find a good Lebanese and Venezuelan place because Im not living off cafeteria food and im gonna draw a lot of dragons bro like so many dragons nad I’ll grow my hair out and learn how to properly take care of my curls or waves or whatever the fuck it is I have bc no one knows and neither do I LETS GO ETHNICALLY MIXED PPL WOOOO GOD KNOWS HWWRE WERE FROM AND and then I’ll make a rlly good drawing and I’ll get 3s on my ap exams and I’ll read a lot of books and fan fictions and eroticaa nad smut bc ofc I will and then after all that I’ll do some more laughing and running and jumping and hitting people with sticks and I’ll enjoy food and life and gosh I’m so happy I’m here I’m so happy Indidnt give up in myslef bc look at the motherFUCKER I am now it’s awesomeeee I’m so proud of meeeeee LIFE IS AWESOMEEEEEEEEEE

[badluvkii]

//tw : suicide mention

i’m still so proud of myslef for this ive finally hit 11 months . next month will be a year , it’s hard due to my bpd but i think i’ve done so much better recently with my suicidal tendencies and stuff . another thing is suicide has caused me a lot of greif in my life and i really don’t want to put my family through it again but obviously i think i’ve done really well recently , and it’s saying something bc i rarely feel proud of myself . i’m finally feeling happy , of course i still suffer w my disorders but i am coping .

i know i always talk about silly stuff here but sometimes it’s so important to talk about how you feel . especially since i don’t like talking to ppl personally about how i feel , it’s better here for me bc ppl can just ignore me and scroll so i dont have to bug someone

[neowinestainedress]

rebs i missed you soo much too but i can’t never find the time to come on this app again cause after i finished my internship they (kinda) hired me so i’m working + classes and doing my thesis and i want to KILL MYSLEF i’m always so tired nowadays and sleeping EVERYWHERE

but god where do i start… first of all i don’t remember if i said this already but CONGRATULATIONS ON GRADUATING I’M SO PROUD OF YOU REBS YOU ARE AMAZING!!! how is life treating you? what are you up to lately?

about the hits different review that i told you about the last time i sent you an ask i think? i still haven’t finished it but i will i SWEAR i was half through it if i remember correctly… i also want and NEED to read your new stories even tho i spoiled myself the other day and saw that mc ends up with jaemin and not haechan 😞 but it’s okay!!! i love jaemin

and now about the things i wanted to tell you!!

1. i saw nct dream in concert and i even got BARRICADE and it was such an amazing experience no one pushed me or anything so i really enjoyed it + i finally met two of my longtime ibf 🥹 but you WON’T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED AT THE CONCERT!!!!

I FINALLY SAW HAECHAN LIVE LIKE HE WAS THE ONLY NEO (except wayv ofc) that i was yet to meet and he was sosososo pretty i wanted to cry i couldn’t believe i was finally meeting the love of my life he was GLOWING (and not because of his sweat or smt like that) even tho he was a little sick i think? cause he wasn’t as playful as usual but i completely understand since he must have been so tired. we made eye contact so many times and i wanted to DIE RIGHT THERE he’s so mesmerizing and sexy and charismatic PLEASE HAECHAN JUST ONE (1) CHANCE like i could talk about him ALL DAY EVERYDAY

it was so funny to me the fact that haechan was the first one to come out when the concert started so he appeared and i SCREAMED SO MUCH i almost threw up within then first 3 minutes 😭😭😭 and the first time he went to dance in front of me and we made eye contact i literally froze ajshskdjsod like no thoughts head empty

mark my bestie (it was the second time in less than a year that i saw him<3) he’s just TOO good and i have THE PERFECT FANCAM of him dancing RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME

renjun is SO TINY and pretty like 🤏🏼 i wanted to hug him

jeno is GORGEOUS LIKE HELLLOO?? WHY ARE YOU SHOWING YOUR FACE FOR FREE FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TO SEE??

JAEMIN IS SO BIG HIS TITTIES ARE ENORMOUS and has the MOST big and beautiful smile i’ve ever seen he was so sweet the whole time

haechan is ….. god i could write a whole essay about him he’s just too pretty i spent 99% of the concert only watching him

chenle is so pretty too and so pale (just like jeno) and he did the most amazing adlibs EVER he was literally a cat so playful and cute

jisung………. he’s CRAZY. tiniest waist i’ve ever seen like HELLO WHO ARE YOU??? so sweet too my cutie

the concert was so much fun and they are amazing performers i screamed soooo much i wish i could watch them live everyday and im happy that they didn’t break their promise of coming back soon and with haechan too (for the first time this was his fourth attempt😭) the trauma from november is now gone (lies i won’t ever recover from that time)

2. and here comes the most exciting part and i’m literally exposing my identity rn but…………………………. haechan PICKED UP MY GIFT LIKE HE ACTUALLY TOOK IT WITH HIS OWN TWO HANDS 😭😭😭😭😭😭 and also it was the only gift he actually picked up from the ground since the other two were given to him by mark and jeno (you can search the candy performance in chile and you will see it 😭😭😭😭 kinda sad he didn’t open it since inside the bag was a teddy bear baseball cap + hanging from the zipper a shinchan as michael jackson keychain that took me FOREVER to find)

3. i’m on my way to see aespa right now i’m so excited<3!!!

4. i have a boyfriend… well not really i mean he wants to date me but i don’t feel like i love him enough and i even broke off with him last year but he just really loves me? even though i explained to him how i feel… the bad thing is that i was trying to “date” him secretly but i posted a pic of haechan on my ig that said “love of my life” so everyone started asking me who he was and shit so i had to tell them about my situansionahip because i couldn’t expose myself as a kpoppie 😭😭😭😭😭

and i think that is all about my life lately now tell me about yours rebs 🫂

I get you when I was writing my thesis I was on the brink of suicide too so I hope everything goes well and you can find time to rest!

THANK YOU! I’m struggling to find a job BUT this weekend I have the inauguration of the exhibition of my photos so I hope it brings something good. I’m having some health problems (funny thing, they’re not given by what I have but by the treatment I’m getting to calm down the illness) but overall I’m good.

Yes you did! Omg how much are you writing skdjfmk did it have a bigger impact than the sour series? I’m sorry for the spoilers, I try to wait to reblog but if I don’t answer after a while I just forget about it 💀I’m sure you will love Jaemin in the story!

1. I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU! Finally a non-traumatic experience😭you truly lived your y/n moment omg and he is! I saw him years ago and I still have him impressed in my mind and I wasn’t that close HOW did you NOT pass out?  

👀 Drop the Mark fancam now 👀

You talking about Mark, Jeno, Renjun, Chenle: 🥰💞 the lomls, prettiest boys ever, smoll 🥰💞 You talking about Jaemin and Jisung: !!!BOOBS!!! WAIST!!!

I want to see them live so badly, I hope they can come to Europe (italy because i don't have money to spend on hotels and flights) 😭

no but seriously after everything that happened last time I’m so happy to know this time it was an amazing experience, you deserve it!

2. HE GOT YOUR GIFT OMG OSJDOFJOD you really are the chosen one please share a bit of your luck (no okay I’m convinced that this was destiny/god/universe/whatever you want to call it, paying you back for the trauma of November) is this the video? also how are you alive pt2? no because it must be so thrilling to know he has something you gave him 😭

3. have fun at aespa’s concert! Say hi to my girlfriend Ningning 😔

4. Warn him that if he dares to hurt you I will have to intervene (we’re not doing a traitor pt2) the Haechan thing took me out I’m sorry, it’s so funny 😭😭 but seriously do what feels right for you and don’t feel pressured just because he likes you a lot

About me there’s not much to say. Like I said I’m trying to find a job but I chose the worst field possible so it’s been hard as hell, I thought I found something but then she changed her mind after I did the trial (I was good, I was really good and she was impressed but for some reason she went from ‘being overloaded with work’ to ‘mhh you know how it is, you never know how much work you have, I can’t hire you’ lmao) and now I keep looking for something. But I’m quite fine when I don’t think too much about my future and feel like a failure lol

[mycomori]

i wanna choose a new saint name like i choose a new confirmation name

emma madeline lastname is my given catholic name

mori blank lastname is my choosen

if i coukd really choose a middle name it would be aradia

but she’s not a saint as much a si wish she was

so i gotta choose a full name including first middle and confirmation but never changing my family name which is so fucked cause that’s what i wanna get away from right that’s the shit i want the escape that fuckin name haunts me but i wanna be proud of jy family so bad but i can’t be because it’s all sick fucking dysfunctional shit and mental illness and abuse and drífa addiction and everything else like i just can’t this makes me wanna message my cousin who i relaly sound message if i was a good cousin/older sister but i’m not i’m a piece of shit and i leave him on gjost because i’m too overwhelmed i know he understand and i kiev him for that hur i just feel fucking terrible that i can’t always be there for him the way i wish i i idk be like i wish i coudk a lot myslef but the fact is i give more than what’s worth to my fucjing job and until i can balance what i out jy energy into its all gonna feel so overwhelming and too much and all i can hooe is that he stays strong like i KNOW he is (he says i’m the string one of us but i disagree i felt w so much less trauma than him) like i want him to be okay god iNEED him to be okay i DESERVES to be okay after all this fucking bullshit and i wish i was stable and capable enlugh fo help but i cat like schitophrebia can’t be reasoned with and i know it he knows it our whole fam knows it cause we’ve had many suffer from it but i’m just. ima prey. i’m d sorry: i’m on the verge of tears again. i hate my job so mucb i hate how i’m treated every second of w every day for the kast25 years of my life. i wana run away so fucjing bad but i can’t bear to be a burden on my loved ones. same as i can’t kill mysekf like i want to because it would hurt the people i love. i’m sorry. i’m sorry . nothing his eheh right. i try so fucjing hard i break myself to be good enough and it’s still never enough for anyone. i’m tired. i wanna attempted suicide just to prove a point more than i actually wanna kill myself wcb i knwk sos so fuckin childish. but also i do really wanandie cause i only stayed alive for other peope. i never wnated this. i never wanted to be here. if i could fo with garuntee results then i probs woukd. i wlukd choose to die rather than suffe this life even though all i went through is basically spit on the wind. o don’t wanna be dead, though i love the ideay of death and morbidity, i wanna live my life then die in nah type of meanifyk way and jst hope it ain’t painful. sorry gain. i can’t not say my feelings even fletter without apologizing. i’m too much are t i? i’m too fu king much and no one’s cares for desk w mes

[scinglives]

“I’m proud of you, Buck. You have really come along way so far.” Steve told him. “Your not the same man who I met on that bridge. Your more yourself with each day. Trust me I understand it’s hard to get used to this time and to miss where we came from. I had to go through that myself. Honestly I’m still trying to integrate myslef into this world and I’m just beginning to feel like this is home. The food is better and that’s a start

Bucky was happy to cling on to the memories that he had, that slowly he was remembering who he was before the war, before HYDRA. He knew he wasn’t the Winter Soldier. “Just got to accept we’re out of our time.” He said with a small smile, they had each other though. Bucky didn’t know what he would do without Steve there. “We’re retro now, I heard people like that sort of thing.”

@captainrogers-thepatriot​ 

“what was I supposed to say? I panicked.” bucky insisted, being in the modern world wasn’t something he was used to. he didn’t know how to interact with people any more. “she asked how old I was, I said 106.” he said with a sigh and ran a hand through his hair. “and why I wear gloves....dating is not -- it’s not for me.” 

[mintmentos]

Iron Widow was incred and I absolutely can’t wait for the next book but I’m just buzzing that I guessed the ending cuz I’m normally so dense I don’t figure anything out until it hits me in the face

[helpmebelieveinanything]

it was in the car while looking out the window, i traced the world with weary eyes and my thrifted coat

it was in the field you took me i grimaced when you touched my arm. your hands were so rough and unforgiving, i thought they’d be soft

it was at the pier overlooking the ocean i began to cry, because it was so beautiful, but i could no longer see it’s beauty

it was with you on the sand that i laughed after loosing my mom, because you were so eager to see the world and you were so kind

it was at night, 8 months without any psych meds, i began to loose my self and question why i was here

it is now i write to you from my bed, and my life is just starting

[inlovedavid-tennant]

8ppl have done the QUIIIIZ I’m so proud of myself wow ima make more

[hikaruhasama]

Since the whole “Kishatu” drama is resurfacing let’s take a look at shall we

Like first of all from a canon perspective it would make no sense for Ryuga to have a last name since he’s an ancient person or whatever and some people even from the modern day beyblade characters don’t have last names like Nile and Jack

Now let’s look at it from a language perspective I’m still a beginner in Japanese and only no the hiragana alphabet but it covers the basic sounds

Ki - き

Is real and exists so that’s not a problem

sha - a combination of two hiragana letters : さ (sa) + や (ya) or in kanji:舎 (sha)

Btw the kanji means house or hut but that’s just on the side

I’ve done way too much research on this topic yes

Now it’s time to get to the real problem

Tu- doesn’t exist in the Japanese language at all it looks like someone with no concept of the language tried to make up a name on the spot or just picked a name based on those “what would your [x] name be posts that coricluate every now and then and even if you don’t know that reading the word doesn’t feel like it’s actually a real Japanese word

The closest a letter comes to it that actually exists in Japanese is つ (tsu)

To sum it up the last name is made up and made up poorly researched at that so it would be nice if people stopped using it

I hope this post helped and if I made any mistake please tell me since I’m still a beginner

[yourbleedingh3art]

The night I had hennyyyy